#I think.... errors or mistakes are things that get close to being the straw that break the camel's back

[keikakudom]

Lemme try and make sense of Vox's mindset, and correct me if I get anything wrong?

I think Vox in RR!au hardly actually thinks about suicide. He's too much of a busy man to do that, after all! Thinking about death is for people with too much time on their hands, who don't have to deal with a billion problems on the daily. And sure, maybe it wouldn't be a terrible accident if he was locked out on extermination day one year (not that there's exterminations anymore), but he'll never bother to actively seek it -- why would he? He has things to do. Empires to run/build. Deals to make. Resorts to run, residents to settle, princesses to talk to.

Really, everything would be just fine and dandy, as long as progress is being made, nothing goes wrong at the resort, heaven doesn't come down for no good reason, and that deer freak manage to not bother him for a single day. All dandy!

So what if he's been going through business ventures like someone going through Doritos at the back of the car? It's difficult to stay on top, in Hell, and he can't rely on tech or media forever, not when they cycle faster and faster(and he would know, of course, his whole body is made of it). He's doing what it takes, and if it's risky, what business isn't?

And re: Alastor, vox may have once had feelings for him, but now it's probably soured into maybe wishing that Alastor would just fuck off somewhere where he'll never be heard from again. I think Vox knows very well from years of companionship that Alastor considers him a source of amusement and entertainment rather than an equal, and that hasn't truly changed even after he left, and in a way that has to bite? That Alastor cannot leave it alone, has to make his opinions and disdain clear to all of hell every single day, and also make it clear that vox cannot do anything to stop him (that tv still runs on radiowaves fundamentally, that he can't get rid of Alastor's influence).

Like the way I interpret canon!vox's feelings re:alastor has a lot more insecurity and the desire to show he's stronger now, he's over it, he doesn't need him, than just being rejected romantically, and in contrast RR!vox grinned and bore it longer without letting on, and then at some point just gave up, by which time his feelings have soured so far past insecurity and bitterness into straight up nihilism. (Doomed yaoi my fav)

Ok I'm just rambling now but yeah I think vox in RR!au is really really interesting? Bc he's y'know not in the best place but also he's fine. He's not, probably never, going to actively do anything, left to his own devices he's just going to keep at his daily routine and eventually self-destruct on his own hubris by taking on far more than he is capable of (people pleasing tendencies, hm?). But otherwise he's fine.

*drops my glass of milk* yea, this all. Checks out.

(that tv still runs on radiowaves fundamentally, that he can't get rid of Alastor's influence)

I think RR!Alastor is also chasing RR!Vox because he knows something is really wrong when Vox wants to cut something *fundamental to his functions* out from his life... If Alastor had any heat to his words, he could do some serious damage to Vox.

But Alastor was not able to reciprocate back then(or in general) the way Vox ever wanted him to. Alastor might think, "What's so wrong about being amusing to me? What's so wrong in being cared for that way?" But we know that Vox, even in canon, is pretty damn emotional. A confession was bound to happen, but since RR!Vox never did, he opt'd to shut them off. It started off with distractions, and those worked too well. Eventually he gave up trying to figure out his emotions and took the "easy" way out, nihilism--but like everything Vox dips his foot into, it's never enough. Only this time it's not only power(like I interpret canon!Vox to seek) that's growing/he's greedy for, it's this all-encompassing void.

Another interesting characterization to tack onto RR!AU Vox is his strong lack of self-preservation, I did mention it here when I had some thoughts on canon!Vox, but rather than "confidence", he does not care. And on occasion, he can go irrationally, batshit crazy for the same reason.

Let's set the stage in hmm, 1980s? He starts not to care about smaller allies, the people he stomps on, eating them up to become an overlord. Recruits Valentino, doesn't care that Val is immoral. At first it's "not his business", but it starts spreading. What is it that he's looking for? Power? Love? Entertainment? People to accept him?

Which is why RR!Vox decided to jump the gun a little bit and shoot for becoming a form of "GOD", aka the original reason for all his anguish in Hell(his religious roots as a human). It's kind of...an endpoint? It's not the most sane, or sensical route-- but he doesn't care that much. He's functioning on this tired/desensitized, pseudo-robotic, logical reasoning with a combo of "oh god I'm running out of interest"(in existing/running himself to the ground). So....hm, "fine" is a tragic word, indeed.

He's not, probably never, going to actively do anything, left to his own devices he's just going to keep at his daily routine and eventually self-destruct on his own hubris by taking on far more than he is capable of (people pleasing tendencies, hm?). But otherwise he's fine.

Welllll, he did always want to go out with a bang. If he did. I don't know, something really big. Like becoming God! Yeah.....That'd do it.

IMO, the premise of RR!AU isn't in stasis-- the reason Vox picked up this project in particular is an aggressive move. He's no longer distributing the same amount of work to the other Vees either anymore, so there is....some urgency, is what I like to think....

[apeekatthestars]

Okay, so this feels long overdue. It's been way too long since I last journaled, work has been too hectic, and I've just had a long cry last night. Ever since Charlotte quit, it's been starting to feel like I don't have enough hands - like my mind is just listing out things I need to do after I finish the task at hand, while my hands are still doing said task. It's been...a lot. To be fair, while the assigned tasks are insane, a major part of the stress has been this skeleton submission for Stephen Ng's case. I'm honestly very hopeful that the matter will get wrapped up before the hearing, but we do still need to lodge the written submission. I'm on the 4th draft, and Mike keeps telling me my drafts are wrong - which is fine, which is normal, and so I have just been churning out more and more drafts, each one 20 to 30 pages long, in an attempt to finally get it right. I've stayed up working on drafts until 2am twice already, on top of an insane workload on all my other files. The straw that broke the camel's back was yesterday - I literally just did what he told me to do, and it was still fucking wrong. I think the problem is that he says things like "Quote their Defence" and assumes I know what he means - but there are a lot of ways to quote things, and I've never seen a skeleton submission that looks like what it appears he wants, so that's a lot of very costly trial and error. I just...feel very broken and tired, and I want to just walk away from this whole career. I'm clearly not made out for a career in law. My mind simply isn't adept enough. I can't process things on the spot. That rules out oral advocacy and legal discussions. And nobody's mind seems to work like my mind, so people say things and I don't understand them on the spot until I've had time to transcribe recordings of our conversations and read them back. And I don't know the law, and it feels like it's too late to rectify such a fundamental thing.

Alright, that's enough feeling sorry for myself. I have my limitations, that much is certain. However, that doesn't mean I'm giving up without a fight. If I can finally figure out what a "proper" skeleton submission is supposed to look like, I can create a list of questions and a protocol, so that I know the tone I'm supposed to strike in future. This will be a massive win in terms of my career. I'm so close to it - maybe the next draft will be a winner, now that (hopefully) Mike has finally expressed what changes should be made. We can do this. Stupidity isn't a sin - we can work around it and still get what we deserve.

Am I doing something wrong? No, we're not. We are learning as best we can. Draft 1 was very different from Draft 4. Next time we have to do a skeleton submission, we can skip directly to Draft 5. That is learning, right there. There is no need to feel ashamed, and there is no need to feel guilty for not being faster. Your mind is about to crack. You need a break, and you are going to get one.

It just...feels like there are so many things piled up on my plate, that it's unconscionable to not use any part of my long weekend to clear up some of the backlog, particularly when a lot of the backlog was due yesterday. And I should not have made the mistakes I made - I know better. I owe it to my bosses to put in the extra work when I've not been helpful. But if that's the logic, then you'll literally never get a break. Work will always be this urgent. Always. And you're still learning, so you'll just be doing trial and error for like a decent chunk of your time. Your inability to do all the work on time is not a failing on your part - you always just do your best, after all. The fact that the work can't be done on the spot is about lack of manpower. No matter how hardworking you are, your efforts will just keep crashing against the towering demand. So you have to take the time to take care of yourself, to keep yourself from crashing and burning out. You are already in the right place - you are learning and working as hard as you can. Take a deep breath and feel proud of how far you've come. Take a good long rest. Look at the sunshine and the trees and all the beauty and love in this world beyond the narrow scope of your career. Life is long. You are smart and hardworking, yes, but you are also bright and happy and curious about the world. Estella alone cannot make progress on the part of the entire Elsandria - everyone needs to grow in order for Elsandria to become stronger.

It's been a long while, but how is everyone else doing? Joey was depressed and starved for a while back there, but now that we're re-reading the Belgariad and playing Stardew Valley, things are not so bad. But it would not hurt to find new things to get into. Maybe we can re-learn Spirit Island, or Root, or another digital board game. But it's hard to magic a new interest - these things are supposed to just happen, after all. We can create a list of shows and books that we can get into?

Yumi has been completely thrown to the side in Estella's mad rush, but we can restart the skincare and the teeth brushing. With Admira, I've discovered that waking up on time comes a lot easier when I've had sufficient rest. Work permitting, I do want to be in bed, listening to a bedtime story by 11:30pm on Monday and Thursday nights, and I want at least half a weekend day actually doing something fun. These are structures we need to enforce. As for journaling? It really should be a lot more regular, but it's hard to make time for that when life is just go, go, go. I guess it's just going to have to be whenever I feel the need to journal.

And Kalyra? It's hard for Kalyra to do much of anything when I can't put together the time to go explore the city. But she's an integral part of our personality - she brings the wonder and the magic. God forbid the day when her light dims. It's a long weekend. If you don't let her out now, when will you? This is about your dedication to yourself and Kalyra - take care of her now.

We have to go explore the city this long weekend.

And play Stardew Valley, of course. Maybe try the Avatar books.

The world is a vast place. There is beauty hidden in every nook and cranny. Go find it.

[slow-button-off]

Laurent Mekies -TP press conference - answers about team orders and Charles

Q: (Christian Nimmervoll - Motorsport total. Com) Laurent, in terms of potential team orders, something that's being discussed outside the team, more than inside probably, but is the situation necessarily that you would focus on one driver in terms of the championship only when the other one’s mathematically out of the race? LM: I think you're right in saying that it is more discussed outside Ferrari than inside Ferrari. But more seriously, again, we have always been very clear, you know. We target to have the best result for the team; Ferrari comes first. And then of course there will be a point where we will need to focus more on a driver compared to the other one if the championship position is requiring. So, it does not mean waiting for the mathematical difference that you mentioned but it means being at the point of the season where you think it is the right thing to do so.  Q: (Edd Straw – The Race) Laurent, obviously Charlotte [CHARLES the FIA fucked that up in their transcript] made the high-profile mistake last time. How do you go about helping Charles find the right way to cut back the mistakes, because the strike rate of those errors is maybe a little bit too high? And is there a way to help him do that without losing that edge of incredible speed?  LM: Let's start from the speed. He has been showing such outstanding speed this year again that you don't want to go and touch that aspect and Charles doesn't need us to understand, as a great racing driver, to understand where he needs to go in terms of closeness to the limit. He is a master of that and, as we all do, mistakes can happen. I think we don't look at single mistakes, we look at the strike rate. We look at how extraordinarily you're able to do things compared to stuff that you do not as good, and I think his strike rate this year has been very, very impressive and we don't want him to change anything.

Q: (Silvia Aria – Parabrisas) Laurent is it possible that when things don’t go right is Charles Leclerc a little bit more emotional than Carlos? LM: I would not say so, really. You know, with both these guys we have had very good highs and we have had very painful lows this season, and in both ways, in both directions, when they come back to the garage, when they have looked at what happened, when they have looked at the data, they are able to reset, to be in the learning mode pretty much after 15 minutes. So you need to separate that from maybe what you can hear on the radio in the heat of the moment when they are racing with a high heart rate. I think it's two different things. But when they get out of the car and they analyse everything, after an hour they will be back into the analysis mode and showing little emotion in a negative way, no negative emotions, but instead you can see it drives them to even more motivation. 

[spacegirlapollo]

A very bad day [ Nanami Kento x Reader]

Title: A very bad Day 

Paring: Nanami Kento x Reader 

Genre : Fluff, Domestic 

Summary: Nanami comforts you, after a very long day.

This was the last straw. The high pitch tinkle of your keys hitting for the floor reverberated in your brain. It sounded almost as if they were laughing at you. Laughing that they had succeeded in wrapping a pretty bow over your shitty fucking day.In your hurry to finally get inside your warm house, you’d dropped your house-keys on the granite floors.

“FUCK!” You yelled sending a balled fist straight into the wooden door frame. You heard the sound of your fist making impact and then came the pain. You’d over reacted and punched a dent in the wall and in return you had splinters in your bloody knuckles. It was painful, but a dull ache compared to the chaos in your mind.

You couldn’t hold back the tears now. You’d held them at bay all day long. You held them when you’d woken up to an empty bed, your husband, Nanami, already gone in to fight some curse or the other. You’d held you’d tears when you were scolded for an error on a report that you hadn’t made at work. When that same man who’d made the mistake was celebrated at work on his promotion.You’d held your tears when his stupid celebration delayed your work so you had to stay overtime to get the days work done. You’d held your tears when a car rammed the back of your husbands fancy car. You’d been close but still no tears when you saw the driver, a bag of chips in one hand and his phone tucked underneath his chin.

Recalling it now made your tears fall heavy and thick down your face. The type of tears that would lead to a headache and stuffed nose. But your crying was interrupted by the sound of the door opening in front of you. There was your husband, out of his work clothes and showered, his normally slicked back hair falling freely with gravity over his face. He took one look at your disheveled appeared, the dent in your apartment door and the corresponding keys on the floor. Wordlessly he dipped down to pick up the keys and on his way to straightening up you saw his eyes land on your hand, which was now bleeding freely and onto the floor.

With an out stretched hand he led you into the apartment, the warmth of the place enveloping you like a blanket. The scent of pasta was in the air and you knew that Nanami had started dinner already. You felt the embarrassment creeping up your spine at your state which only served to make your tears fall faster. You heard the click of a lock and then your already blurred vision was darkened as you were pulled gently into a hug.

He smelled of vanilla, a warm and embracing scent. His large hand cupped the back of your head, gently massaging your scalp as you tear stained his casual clothing. He was rocking just the slightest and it was so soothing. The day seemed to be melting away under his calming and soothing presence. And you were a bit in awe of his ability to bring you down from hysterics without muttering a word.

When you’d gone quiet and no more tears were running he pulled back a bit looking down at your tears stained face.

“Our neighbors are definitely going to give you weird looks now.” He same softly tucking a hair behind your ear, a cheeky smile playing on his face. You laughed, in spite of yourself the shock of the laugh almost hurting your tightened throat.

“Was it really that loud?” You asked chastened. He shock his head reassuringly.

“No I’m sure only our entire floor heard it.” He winked, something he tended to only do around you. You almost whined at the loss of his arms around you, but held it in as he guided you to sit down on of of the tall kitchen chairs.

“Don’t move.” He said and disappointed around the corner of your hallway. He was back quicker than you’d thought, juggling gauze, scissors and various other medical supplies between his long but slender fingers.

“Let me see it.” He said calmly as he set the items down and set them up. You lifted your injured hand for him to see and felt a ping of pleasure as he sucked his teeth in concern. Though you hadn’t done it on purpose it was nice to feel genuine concern from someone all day.

As he began to clean the wound he said simply : “tell me what happened.” And so you told him, watching his face the entire time. He was concentrating on your hand. It was propped up against the table and he was moving so gently that you hardly felt the pain of his movements. His face was smooth with no traces of annoyance as you talked about your day. He was listening intently, not trying to interrupt or cut you off and say what you should have done instead.

His composure broke only once, his eyebrows knitting together when you’d gotten to the part about the car accident. You’d thought he was probably upset about the car.

 If you only passively knew Nanami, you wouldn’t think he would be as into cars as he was but it was a spot of pride for him , something you’d realized he’d gotten from his father. He’d always handled anything car related, and you gladly let him. But as you went on to tell him how the guy had hit on you while exchanging insurance information, his frown deepened and you could see the anger in the corner of his eye. It was hard to concentrate on being gentle and keeping any emotion from his face.

You felt a tinge of pleasure knowing that he cared. Plowing on you got to the end of your day just as he was confident he’s gotten all the wooden shrapnel from your hand, and was ready to stitch it up.

He was quiet for a while, getting the things he needed set up and cleaning your wound. So quiet that you thought maybe he wouldn’t say anything. You watched as he prepared the needle to close you up dreading the pinches of pain that would come with it.

“ I’m sorry you had such a bad day.” He said, you felt his gaze on you now and you looked up from yourhand, swallowing hard at the intensity of his gaze. He was sorry, there was a mixture of emotions in his face. He was holding back on the advice and affirmations. He knew you better than that. He knew you were strong and knew your worth, he didn’t need to re-assure you that you were smarter than all the assholes at work. You just needed him to listen, needed him to care that you had a rough time, and not try to fix it for you.

Although he opened his mouth again unable to hold back on one point in your story. “Do you want me to handle the insurance?” He asked, not taking his eyes from you. It was clear he wanted to do it, but he was asking because he knew you could handle it yourself. And he would back up and let you take care of it if you wanted.You nodded, relief filling your body. You could have handled it but you didn’t want to. You didn’t want to think about the car or have to interact again with the sleezeball that had rear-ended you in the first place. And you knew that Nanami would gladly interact with the man, and you guiltily imagined the weasels face when he encounters your husband and his cold wrath instead of you. He’d broken his car and hit on his wife? You almost felt sorry for the man...almost.

“Please.” You answered softly with a sigh and the set in his jaw when he nodded let you know that it was done. You wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. That was just the kind of man that Nanami Kento was. “This is going to hurt” he said the anger drained from his eyes and concern flashing as he started to stitch your hand. It did hurt but Nanami was precise and quick so the pain faded quickly. You watched his face again as he concentrated. You felt warm and safe and happy, like the day hadn’t even happened. When he was finished and inspecting your hand and by twisting it around gently he looked up at you meeting your eyes.

“What?” He asked a bit concerned that he’d maybe missed something. You smiled then, using your injured hand to cup his face softly.“I love you.” It wasn’t the first time you’d said it, not even close, but your heart was racing as if this was your first time confessing it.It was strange, from the outside looking in, Nanami seemed like the type to be closed off and emotionally unavailable. When in reality he was sharp and well read in emotions. He was serious most of the time but that was because he understood the futile motions of life. He understood that working till you die was stupid but that there wasn’t a way around it. You were the break in his grey, the sunshine he protected.It was you that was closed off, proud and unwilling to have anyone but yourself share the burdens of the world you had placed on your shoulder. It had taken years, for you to reach the point where now you would want to bear your soul to him the way you had tonight. Letting him take on one of your problems. When had that changed ? Somehow he’d managed to chip away at that wall.

His small smile on his usual serious face steadied your heart again. He stood up coming closer and you almost had to lean back to look up at him. He cupped your face in both hands that smelled of pasta and kissed you. It was a sweet kiss. The kind you wished would go on forever and filled you up with light.

He pulled back leaning his forehead against yours. “You don’t have to carry everything yourself all the time. Give somethings to me, okay?”

You felt another tear drop down your cheek, surprised you still had any left in you. He whipped it away with his thumb and you matched his smile. “Okay.” —————— “Good, we’ll let’s go eat some pasta.”

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 9: Pixie

Written by: The Maribat Pit  @jasonette-july-event

Prompt: Pixie

Rated: T

(By popular demand, a slight continuation of Game On @aespades, @certainmuffinbagelcalzone.)

A/n: Edits have been made because I noticed the paragraph errors AFTER posting this.

Marinette was really starting to miss the days of working with Chat Noir at that moment, and that was saying something.  “Bugaboo” and “My Lady” were starting to feel more tolerable when she wasn’t being called that every second of the day.  Being called “Pixie” regardless if she was Ladybug or Marinette, was really starting to get old, fast.  For reasons that she could not understand, that’s what Jason insisted on calling her.  Sure, she was a lot smaller compared to him, but that coupled with needing to hang back and let Red Hood and Arsenal deal out the heavier hits was starting to get on her nerves.  She was just as experienced as them, she had a mentor just like they did, and had been saving lives for just as long as they had.  Ever since she had joined them, she thought that she would be fighting alongside a team again.  Now she was either supporting them or using her sewing skills to add improvements to their suits.  She was in good hands, some might say hands that were a little too good.  All this frustrated her to no end because she liked Jason, she would have thought that someone who had been a vigilante from a young age would understand what it felt like to be constantly underestimated. 

“Unbelievable,” she snapped one night as she came home from another mission.  She pulled off her pink flats and threw them across the room as she entered her apartment.  She didn’t even get the chance to use her Miraculous, she was effectively closely guarded bait on that last mission.  She slumped on the bed in frustration and Tikki hovered over to her, her antenna drooping in concern.  “Some days I want to wipe that smile off of that stupid face, just to prove I can.” Marinette grumbled into her pillow.  She didn’t hate Jason, she knew that there was some good in him.  Roy was the more optimistic and cheerful of the duo, like Jason, he had also been mentored by a more experienced hero.  Jason was a lot more reserved and cynical by comparison, though he wasn’t a complete Ice Prince like his brother Damian. 

“Maybe it’s because they’ve been doing this for a little bit longer.” Tikki suggested, after Marinette complained about it for the umpteenth time.

“Batgirl and Black Bat are only a few years younger than me,” she reminded her, “and there’s no doubt that they could hold their own in a fight.  No one gives them stupid nicknames, just shortened versions of their real names out of costume.” Tikki awkwardly scratched the back of her head.  “I bet you that he barely remembers what my real name is.” Marinette was getting increasingly furious at the thought “it’s always ‘Pixie this’ and ‘Pixie that’. I know I’m shorter than him, but I have taken on giant robot dolls, literal monsters, and I once rode a dragon!” Marinette yelled. 

Marinette throws a pillow at Tikki, only for it to phase through her. “What does he think I do as Ladybug? Create Christmas presents with my Lucky Charm?!” 

 At this very unfortunate moment Jason happened to return back to their apartment with Roy in tow. “What’s got you riled up, Pixie Pop?” Jason quipped after seeing the frustrated look on her face. This was the last straw for Marinette, “Stop calling me that! Does it please you to demean me? Does it bring you joy to fucking bully me day in and day out?” Jason and Roy take a step back from Marinette’s outburst. Marinette continues “I have kept Paris safe ever since I was 13, I didn’t have the World's Greatest Detective or a Robin Hood cosplayer helping me. It’s always you two off saving the day while I’m the distraction. Do I have to remind you that I’ve beaten Robin and Red Robin?” 

 “So have we, right Roy?” Jason says look backwards to Roy. Roy meanwhile was slowly walking backwards with his arms up in surrender.

 “Don’t drag me into this please.” Roy pleaded. 

 Marinette continued her rant, “So why do you keep calling me Pixie Pop like I'm some pet or stuffed animal?” She storms up to Jason and pulls him down to her height by the collar. 

Roy sensed the tension and wanted absolutely no part in making it worse, “You know what? I’m gonna go get us some shawarma.”

Jason looked over at Roy “Really, Roy?” A slight scowl made it clear he knew Roy was essentially leaving him to face Marinette’s wrath.

“All I know is that they are open at four in the morning and I’m hungry, so I’ll be right back.” Roy said, and he left the room.  Just as he thought Roy was out of earshot, Jason heard sprinting down the hallway.  Roy had abandoned him to face the burning blue fire in Marinette’s eyes.

Marinette let go of him, she didn’t need them, she had made that absolutely clear. 

“I’m done,  I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to be underestimated all of the time.” she muttered harshly, “to always be kept at arm's length, because no one trusts you to do anything right.”

Marinette had no idea just how deep her words cut him, and Jason couldn’t really blame her.  As far as she knew, compared to his brothers, he might as well just be ‘the one with the guns and leather jackets’.  He hadn’t really told her about what had happened all those years ago, he didn’t even like to think about it himself.  Roy was one of the few people who understood what he’d been through. It was true that both of them started out as sidekicks, maybe the red in their costumes helped them stand out from their mentor’s shadows.  Their time as young crime fighters had left their scars. They were blindsided when they found someone who had been a heroine since she was 13, and took to it with the same determination they had when they were younger, more innocent, more naïve. 

 As Marinette flitted around the room, gathering her things, every nerve in Jason’s body was screaming at him to stop her.   He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, trying not to think about just how small it felt around his hand.  “Look, I’m sorry,” he began. What could he say to her? That he knew exactly what that felt like? That the last thing they wanted was for her to end up like them?  That every hit they took in a fight was one that she wouldn’t have to, so that she wouldn’t turn out broken like they were?  The problem was she didn’t see them as broken, she saw them treating her like glass.  If she was put through the same ordeal, Jason had no idea what he would do.  If she shattered just like they did, then in a way, they would have failed her.  If she came out still whole, still brimming with light, then what did that say about them?

 Marinette pulled her arm away, “I’ll show you, then you’ll be sorry” she told him bitterly.  With her backpack in hand and shoes on her feet, she pushed past him and walked out the door.  

 Jason remains staring at the open door, regretting how he had treated her. He grew fond of her during their time together as ‘Red Arse Bug’.  She had a cute face, cute voice and she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. “Stupid, stupid” he says to himself, facepalm at each syllable. Even with the now hostile relationship with Marinette, he knew he had to follow her. He had to stop her from making the same mistakes he did, so that she would not become like him. He put on his helmet and left to search for clues as to where Marinette would go and what she would do.

 Marinette wandered through Gotham city, unsure what to do now that she stormed out of the apartment she shared with Jason and Roy. She felt like everyone belittled her, Selena did, and now so did Jason. She needed to do something eye-catching, to prove to everyone that she didn’t need their help.

As she wanders past the Iceberg Lounge, she gets a spark of inspiration. If she could take down the Penguin single-handedly, nobody in Gotham would doubt her ever again. With unyielding determination she calls out “Spots On” and turns to Ladybug, ready to take on one of the cruelest crime lords in all of Gotham. Ladybug walks up to the front door and kicks it down, sending the door flying and knocking any unfortunate goons behind it. Penguin’s gang whipped out their guns, tire irons, pipes and anything that could count as a weapon and were now charging in to stop the intruder. 

 Marinette swings her yo-yo to wrap around one of the goon’s ankles, before swinging him around crashing him into several others. A guard points his rifle behind Ladybug, she spins around, sending her yo-yo towards the gun and pulling it from his hands. As the guards begin to group up together in an attempt to minimise the effectiveness of her yo-yo, Marinette looks up and begins to smirk. She flings her yo-yo upwards and hooks it onto a chandelier. She yanks it down, sending the chandelier crashing onto the unsuspecting guards. 

 Marinette dusts her hands and proceeds to walk through into the main hall. She proceeds to kick down that door too, she is then greeted by The Penguin surrounded by his gang. “I’m taking you down Cobblepot.” She shouts, swinging her yo-yo as if it was a lasso, preparing for a fight.

 The Penguin stands up from the seat of his large chair. “What are all you idiots waiting for?” He shouts all around him. He points his umbrella at Ladybug, and begins shooting his umbrella gun. “Get her!” The penguin roars, at this cue every gangster charges at Ladybug. 

 Marinette gracefully dodges and weaves around Penguin’s army, knocking each one out one by one. Until only The Penguin remains, she wraps her yo-yo around his umbrella, easily disarming one of Gotham’s most wanted. She walks towards The Penguin, slowly unravelling her yo-yo in anticipation of tying him up and sending him to Arkham Asylum. 

 The Penguin takes out a little remote control from his suit pocket, “It's not over yet.” he snarls and pushes a button. At that moment the entire building shakes.

“Born on a Monday” a voice groaned, followed by another loud thud. “Christened on a Tuesday.” the same voice groaned. Then a giant hand shoots up from beneath the floor, “SOLOMON GRUNDY” roared the giant as it emerged from the floor. 

 Red Hood and Arsenal had been watching the fight from a careful distance outside the Iceberg Lounge.  “Well, she’s managed to take on Penguins goons just fine,” Arsenal observed through the small pair of binoculars,  “she’s certainly had plenty of time to get very creative with that yo-yo”.

Red Hood’s hand was still itching to reach for one of his pistols, ready to jump in at the first sign of trouble. “By the way, how was your shawarma?” he asked sarcastically.

Arsenal looked over at him, raising an eyebrow “Hey, I’m not the one who said the one thing that just made her angrier, you were on your own there.”

“Nice to know you had my back.” he grumbled.

“Oh I do in a fight, you just decided to be an ass and poke the angry girl with a stick.” Arsenal pointed out.

Their banter was interrupted by an earth shattering thud, following a loud groan “Born on a Monday.” At that moment their blood ran cold. Red Hood and Arsenal rushed towards the Iceberg Lounge. Both worried for Ladybug and aware of what comes after that dreadful nursery rhyme. 

 “What are you two doing here? I can handle this.” growled Ladybug as Red Hood and Arsenal arrived. 

 Before either Red Hood or Arsenal could answer, they were interrupted by Solomon Grundy smashing the ground where Ladybug was standing. Ladybug gracefully dodged the punch, grappling onto a ceiling lamp to swing towards Grundy with a kick. 

 The giant grabbed Ladybug while she was mid-air and threw her towards her partners. Red Hood catches her, holding her tightly as the two fly across the room. He shields her from the shock, taking the brunt of the impact as they crash into the wall. 

 Red Hood groans “You okay?” Ladybug looks up to see she was relatively unharmed, but Red Hood had taken the brunt of the throw. Concern visible on her face as she sees Red Hood’s damaged helmet, and the bruised and bloodied face beneath.  

 Their quiet moment together was interrupted by Arsenal's cries for help. Every arrow he had in his quiver wasn’t making a dent in Solomon Grundy. Ladybug decides to cast Lucky Charm in desperation, and swings her yo-yo up. The ladybugs converge to form...a polka-dotted stick of dynamite. 

 “Arsenal!” She called. “Tie this to the end of an arrow, Red Hood and I will keep it busy.” She tosses the dynamite to Arsenal and tells Red Hood to tie Grundy down.

 Ladybug using her yo-yo grabs on to Solomon Grundy’s left arm while Red Hood uses his grappling hook to hold on to his right arm. Leaving Grundy exposed and immobile, giving Arsenal the opportunity for a clear unobstructed target. 

 Arsenal draws and aims the special Lucky Charm Explosive Arrow. The giant zombie growls “Arrow Boy no hurt Grundy.” 

 “Arrow Boy yes hurt Grundy” quipped Arsenal, before releasing the arrow causing a thunderous explosion into Solomon Grundy’s face. The giant slumps, Ladybug and Red Hood quickly release their hold and watch its body fall back into the hole in which it came from. 

 Solomon Grundy’s body lays motionless in the basement of the Iceberg Lounge as the three peer over the hole in the ground, “Let’s get outta here before the GCPD or worse, Batman arrive” Red Hood points to the front door, and the three of them leave the lounge to head back to their apartment.

As the three arrive home, they each find a nice comfortable spot to collapse onto. Jason claimed the sofa, slumped down Roy in the middle of the living room floor and Marinette sat at the dining table. “I vote for a week off.” groaned Roy.

“I second that motion” agreed Jason. 

“I still have design work to do.” Marinette told them, not really looking at either of them at that moment.  She was torn between appreciating their help, and frustrated that she hadn’t been able to handle the situation herself like she thought.

“Still that was one hell of a fight, and hey, you still managed to take on a squad of goons by yourself.”  Roy said, “I’m so proud” he said dramatically pretending to wipe away a happy tear. 

He nudged Jason in the leg, “um, yeah, good work” he said awkwardly, slightly lost in thought. Marinette smiled slightly, before turning her attention back to her little fairy friend perched on the table. 

“So does this mean Red Arse Bug is back together?” Roy asked enthusiastically, Marinette wasn’t really paying attention. 

The name still needed work, for one thing.  For once Marinette felt like her powers were being used in harmony with their abilities, but she wasn’t sure if it was a feeling that she should get used to.  Marinette could still vividly remember seeing Jason’s bruised and bloodied face beneath his helmet.  Jason stood up and walked over to the fridge, looking for ice to dull the swelling on his face.

“Not with that name,” Jason grumbled, not entirely sure if Marinette was willing to stay after their argument.  Someday, somehow, he would tell her the full story of what happened to him.  Right now, that was a whole Pandora’s Box that he just wasn’t prepared to open.  Nestled at the bottom of that box was hope, a hope that no one else would meet that same fate.

“...Lucky Shot?”  Marinette suggested as she carried Tikki over to the sofa and sat down.  Both Jason and Roy looked up, it made some sense, seeing as they both used projectiles and she had her lucky charms.  Jason tentatively made his way back to the sofa, ice pack in hand.

“Sounds better than ‘Red Arse Bug’.” Jason remarked, as he sat back down. 

“Well, let’s see if our little adventure made the news” Roy said, as he reached for the TV remote.  Jason tuned out Vicki Vale’s voice as she reported on the fight that took place at the Iceberg Lounge. 

As Roy slept at their feet, Jason knew if they were going to continue working together as a team, they couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer.  

“Hey Marinette.” Jason speaks softly. Marinette's ears perk in surprise, hearing speak her name for the first time. “I’m sorry, for what I said and how we treated you. You’re right.” He gestures to the sleeping Roy on the floor, “Both of us started out as sidekicks, we both grew up in the shadows of Batman and Green Arrow. Both old men with impossibly high standards, everything we did was never enough.”   Marinette listened intently as she shuffled closer to him on the sofa.  “We’ve both been to hell and back, Marinette. Literally in my case.” he explained, Marinette glanced down at Tikki for a moment, as if silently asking if her magic was somehow involved in this.  “But always remember, we have each other’s backs, just like The Three Musketeers.” Jason told her, Marinette giggles at his literary reference.

“Roy’s Porthos, you’re Aramis, I guess that makes me D’Artagnan.” Marinette chimes. Jason loved to see that hopeful smile on her face.  What scared him the most was the idea that something or someone would try and take that away from her.  They couldn’t keep treating her like glass, and they couldn’t keep treating her like a sidekick if they wanted to keep her from making their mistakes.  They were all going to fight like hell to make sure this world didn’t break her the way it broke them.  Marinette leaned in close and rested her head on his shoulder.  He felt her calm even breathing, fanning his neck as she slept peacefully at his side.

[nejibaby]

The Only Thing I Got Right

Pairings: Ace x Y/N

A/N: I just finished watching the Marineford Arc and I cried so much so I wrote this on a whim. Sorry in advance if there are grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. It's the tears' fault, I swear! 😭 ((I just desperately wanted Ace to survive, you know? 😭))

This song reminds me of Ace, idk why.

You’re shaking. It would’ve been nice if it was because of the cold or if it was from excitement, but this isn’t the case. You’re shaking from fear, from anxiety. Today, Ace, the love of your life, is going to be executed and you didn’t know if you’d make it on time. You barely got out of Impel Down alive with the help of Ace’s little brother, Luffy.

You hate the fact that you got thrown there with Ace courtesy of Teach, or should you say, Blackbeard. You hate the fact that you couldn’t save Ace from Blackbeard no matter how hard you tried fighting him. It was frustrating, but if a Devil Fruit user like Ace had no match for him, what more of you? You have no powers like that, the only thing that you have is your knowledge on Rokushiki and daggers.

You got imprisoned at Level 3 of Impel Down while Ace was rumored to be on Level 5. Being thrown on a relatively lower level was understandable, even if you are part of Whitebeard’s crew, you are no commander like Ace. Still, even if you are weaker than Ace, you desperately wanted to go get him out of there but it was impossible. Or so you thought.

When you saw a Straw Hat on a male running around with two others on Level 3, you instantly knew it was Luffy. It seemed like god was in your favor because apparently one of your cellmates, who you came to learn was Mr. 2 from Baroque Works, was Luffy’s friend. When he got Mr. 2 out of the shackles, you begged to come with them, telling him your relationship with Ace. Luckily for you, Luffy needed all the help he could get so he easily got you out with the help of the other prisoner he was with. It was all chaos after that.

You’re currently hiding in the crow’s nest of the Marine ship you helped steal alongside Crocodile, Mr. 1, and Jinbei. Your body is already aching from all the running and fighting you did just to escape Impel Down. But even before that, your body had already been tired from the lack of nutrition and of sleep. How could you even dare to sleep knowing Ace was somewhere else, probably beaten to a pulp? And if that wasn’t enough, the sudden knowledge of him being executed in a few hours added more strain and tension to your body. You didn’t want anyone to see you in such a state. You didn’t want anyone to pity you.

But if you’re hurting this much, then it must’ve been so much harder for Luffy. You make a mental note to talk to him before crashing to Marineford. For now though, you need to rest — not only for your body, but for your mind as well. You have to be ready, the worst is yet to come. When you closed your eyes, you welcomed sleep like an old forgotten friend.

Your sleep didn’t last long, however, because of both the nightmare of Ace reaching out for you with bloodied hands and of the waters that suddenly rocked the whole ship. Before you could even get down the crow’s nest, the ship abruptly stilled and the air chilled. When you looked down, you clenched your teeth at the sight of the sea that turned into ice.

A mental clock was ticking like a time bomb in your mind. How were you supposed to save Ace now?

As if hearing your question, Luffy started gathering the people in the ship about his plan. At this point, you would do anything just to get to Ace so you didn’t hesitate to help him in his plan on freeing the ship from the ice. But the next thing you know, you were falling after kicking the thick layer of ice as hard as you can.

Just as you looked down to where you’re supposed to land, you realized that it was Marineford and the war had already started. With a little tilt of your head, you see Ace in the scaffold, shackled up. Worry was etched on his face, his focus on Luffy. You could almost hear him saying how stupid his little brother is.

Was it wrong to smile at the sight of him at a time like this? But how could you not? He’s still alive! You have a chance at saving him. You release a sigh of relief.

You try not to draw his attention to you. He already has a lot to worry about — namely, the Whitebeard pirates, the allied pirates, and Luffy. It was a good decision that you didn’t change out of your prison clothes, it was easier not to get noticed by him this way. For all he knows, you’re just one of the many escapees Luffy helped. You want to keep it that way. At least for now.

There’s no time to waste, so when you landed, you immediately head off to the direction of the scaffold. After seeing that Ace was still alive, you feel yourself get pumped up again. You fight each and every Marine who tries to stop you.

No matter how hard each blow you receive, no matter how painful each swipe of the swords you get, no matter how many times you get knocked down, you keep on fighting. You keep on standing up. There’s only so much your Tekkai could do when you’re severely outnumbered. Nevertheless, you keep on going. Nevermind the multiple cuts and bruises you have. There is only one thing in your mind and that is saving Ace. Even at the expense of your own life.

From the way Luffy fought at Impel Down, you know he’s incredibly strong and tenacious so you find yourself backing him up. You don’t go near him, knowing Ace’s attention was on him, but you guard him from your side. Not a single Marine was able to pass through you from your side of the battlefield. But you can’t cover every area for him. Despite that, he managed to take down anyone who was in his way.

Your ears are ringing from all the overlapping noises of guns being fired, screams of agony from pirates and Marines, swords clanging, and hurried footsteps. At one point, you block all of the sounds while you focus on your own breathing as you run.

Even when everyone stopped moving to watch as Pops descended the Moby Dick and made his move, you continued running. You have to keep up with Luffy. There’s no way you’d let Ace die.

The only moment you actually stopped running was when Luffy unconsciously used the Conqueror’s Haki. So he can do that too, you thought.

That was also the moment you actually got to look at the surroundings properly and realized that Pops had been stabbed. Your knees buck from the sight and you fall down. Regret immediately flooding your body. You’re so focused on trying to save Ace that you didn’t notice Pops needed help too.

The Marines took this opportunity to attack you. Just as a sword was about to hit you, McGuy blocked it.

“What are you doing, Y/N? Snap out of it. This is war. There’s no way we’d be able to rescue Ace if you don’t get your bearings straight!”

The harshness in his tone brought you back to reality. He’s right. Pops ordered everyone to lend their strength to Luffy, and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.

You, along with everyone else, push yourselves to your limits to help Luffy. He did not disappoint. He even punched his own grandfather, Garp, just to be able to reach Ace and free him.

The moment the scaffold collapsed, you almost collapsed with it. Tears start falling from your eyes as you see Ace finally free from his shackles. A smile has finally graced his face as he fought side by side with his brother. At that moment, you think that he’s at his brightest when he’s with his sworn brother. You couldn’t be any more happier.

Now that he is free, it’s time to figure out how to escape. Everyone’s running towards the ships but you stop after noticing Pops wasn’t making the same movement.

“The order I’m about to give will be my final captain’s order!” Pops announces. “You and I will be parting here.”

Your breath hitched at the declaration.

“All of you, make sure you survive, and reunite with each other in the New World!”

You don’t listen to whatever he says next. You refuse to. You stand your ground. You’re not going to abandon the man who warmly accepted you into his family without hesitation despite knowing all of the crimes you committed.

As if sensing your refusal, he turns slightly to your direction, “Are you disobeying your captain’s orders?!”

Stupid old man, he should know by now that you’re no good at following orders.

Ace is one of the last persons to follow his order. You turn away from the conversation they are having, knowing it was a private matter.

When they’re done talking and Ace finally starts running towards the ship, Pops turns to you. He doesn’t talk, he just looks at you.

Shame suddenly overcomes you. You didn’t get to stop Ace from coming for Teach. When he left, you begged Pops everyday to allow you to set sail, promising that you’d bring Ace back. When he finally allowed you, you didn’t waste any time. But even when you found him, you couldn’t bring him back, it was too late and you were just too weak. It was your fault this happened. “Pops, I’m sorry I—”

“I did this. This is all my fault.”

“But—”

He shut you up with his stare.

“Let’s leave here together,” you plead.

But he doesn’t reply. With his stare, you can tell that he isn’t backing down on his order, no matter how much you persuade him to. You release a shaky breath. With tears streaming down your face, you gave one last bow and one last thank you.

And then you ran.

The others are already further away from you but you notice a group of them stopping in their tracks. There in the center of the commotion is Akainu and Ace, seemingly discussing something.

There’s no time for this, you thought.

“—In other words, Whitebeard is an eternal loser, who will never surpass Roger. That’s all he is. Everything I’ve said is the truth,” the admiral says. “He reigned the seas for decades, yet he never became a king or gained anything.”

You clench your jaw at the bullshit he’s spouting, after everything Pops had done to save you, you’re livid to hear him be deduced as a loser. But regardless of the anger rising in front of you, you know this wasn’t the time to get riled up.

The thing is, Ace gets easily riled up. It’s one of his flaws as a person. So when he starts walking to Akainu’s direction, Izo is first to shout, “Don’t fall for it, Ace! Turn back!”

But it’s no use.

That’s when you let your presence known, you shout at the top of your lungs, “Just turn back, Ace!”

Everyone whips their head at the sound of your voice, except Ace and Akainu.

Even you, who are usually able to keep Ace in check, couldn’t snap him out of his anger.

It’s too late.

They exchange blows. Ace falls down, magma is far greater than fire, after all.

“The Pirate King, Gold Roger. Dragon, the Revolutionary. These two men’s sons being stepbrothers is quite a frightening thought.” Akainu says.

When he looks over at Luffy’s direction, you immediately know what he plans to do. You don’t even think twice. There is no second to waste.

“Soru.”

The sound of your voice finally reaches Ace. His eyes widen in realization of what’s going to happen.

“Wait!” He pleads.

But before he could even stand up, you already placed yourself in front of Luffy. “Tekkai.”

But the admiral’s strength and power is far greater than your ability. His fist goes through your chest.

“Y/N!” Ace shouts.

The rest of Division Commanders are in shock.

Akainu clicks his tongue at the sight of you and detaches his fist from your body.

You slump, Luffy catching you in the process. “Oi, Y/N-chan... What did you…? Why did y-you d-do that?” He asks.

In no time, Ace comes to Luffy’s side. “Y/N…”

You smile sweetly at the two men and then you turn to Luffy. “You’re Ace’s brother, silly. Of course I’d do this for you.” You cough out blood and then hiss at the pain.

“Stop talking!” Ace demands.

While Luffy and Ace are distracted, Akainu makes his move once again. But the slight motion didn’t go unnoticed by Jimbei and the Division Commanders. Even if you aren’t a Commander, you acted like Ace’s right hand. To the crew, you’re as important as Ace is. There’s no way they wouldn’t fight for you. So altogether they start covering for the three of you.

You feel your body shutting down on you. You could barely hear Ace calling for a doctor and Luffy desperately asking Ivankov to help you. But you know it’s no use. “I… can tell my body is at its limit,” you whisper.

Ace doesn’t agree, then he gently takes your body from Luffy. “No, I’m going to find someone else who can help—”

“Ace…”

“—you. There’s got to be someone who—“

“Ace… My organs have been burnt. I know this’ll be the end of me.”

“No, don’t talk like you’re dying, Y/N!”

“But I am…” You say. “Look Ace, don’t worry, okay? I was prepared to die when I came here. I was ready to die just to get you out of here.”

“Why would you…”

“Because I love you,” you whisper. “You know… when I take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that I think I got right.”

Ace hides his face on your neck as he hugs you. With the little strength you have left, you give a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. “Don’t go around disobeying the captain’s order and don’t go around breaking your promise to Luffy. You said you won’t die, right?”

You feel Ace nod at your words.

“Go to the ships and take everyone else. Please don’t follow me too soon.”

Ace hugs you tighter, panting as he continues to cry.

A small smile reaches your lips once again. At least this time he’ll listen, you think. “I can’t raise my voice anymore but please tell Pops and everyone else, even Luffy, they made my life worthwhile. I’m sorry if our journey ends he—”

You didn’t even get to finish your sentence because darkness had consumed you.

[coloredgirlfan-fiction01]

The warm morning sunshine was the first thing you felt as you woke from your sleep. The bright light stung your rested eyes but with a few blinks it was manageable.

Looking over at your bedside table, the digital clock read seven sixteen. You had wanted to set the alarm to wake up earlier, but Michael always complained that the sound it made was annoying and gave him headaches.

So you had to learn to wake up early so Michael could get his beauty sleep, not that he really needed it.

Said blonde was still fast asleep on his back, arms on each side of his head and soft pink lips slightly parted as he took shallow breaths. His long eyelashes fluttering ever so gently on his cheeks as he dreamed, something good you hoped.

He was dressed in the red silk pajama suit you picked out for him last night, the first three buttons of the top undone which exposed the smooth skin of his chest.

He was so beautiful, unlike most men he was soft and loved to be taken cared of. There was nothing anyone could say or do that could make you any less in love with him, and he loved you just as much.

You protected him and never judged him for the way he was like those in his past had. They were so focused on what he was and what he was destined to do, that they never stopped to ask him who he really was outside of his father's dark shadow.

As you watched him sleep a fond smile crept across your lips, you leaned over the blonde and gently kissed the top of his exposed chest.

"Michael, it's time to wake up." You whispered placing another kiss just above the previous one.

You felt him stir and let out a soft groan as you began to kiss his neck.

"Five more minutes." You chuckled at how childish his whine was.

"Come on puppy, it's time to get up." You watched as his eyes fluttered open, ocean eyes seemed to almost glow as the sunlight hit them.

"Morning.." He greeted with a smile. You reached out you brush a few strands away from his face, enjoying the smoothness of his skin and the happiness in his eyes.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I dreamt about you. We were at the bottom of a clear blue ocean. I was lying on your lap, you were humming a song and running your fingers through my hair as I fell asleep. It was beautiful, peaceful."

He always had such strange dreams. Sometimes he had nightmares that were so vivid even you got chills whenever he'd talk about them, but you always loved the ones he got that made him smile in the morning.

"Your too cute for your own good sometimes you know that?" You kissed him and got out of bed to stretch your arms above your head to rid your body of any excess tiredness.

The grey T-shirt you wore to bed lifted as you did, exposing your upper thighs and ass which Michael gawked when he sat up. He couldn't help but think how sexy you looked wearing his shirt and nothing else.

Your skin always had a sort of glow when the sun washed over you. Every curve, your hips, your breasts, your long legs, your natural hair that framed your face made you look like a goddess in his eyes.

He'd never thought that after everything that went went in his life, all the blood and bad choices that he would find redemption and safety in the shape of you.

You were the first person to treat him like an actual human being with feelings and emotions instead of just the antichrist that was destined to destroy the world and remake it in his father's image. That part of him died the moment he gave himself to you.

"Are you going to stare at me all day, or are you gonna' get up and get ready pup?" Blush dusted his cheeks and he averted his eyes to stop from staring. He got out of bed and helped fixed the bedding before joining you in the shower.

After that you guided him downstairs to the kitchen and began to make a healthy breakfast for the both of you, while Michael sat at the counter and watched you.

French toast, eggs, sausages and a pot of freshly made lemongrass tea was on the menu and you took pride in the fact that you only took twenty minutes to make everything.

"So what do you want to do today pup?" You asked serving him his share. Since you didn't have to go into work on Saturdays, you always let Michael choose how you'd spend the day together. You owned your own business and it took up alot of your time, so you dedicated a day just for Michael since he hardly gets to have you for himself.

"I was thinking we could go to the park today, the weather's nice maybe we can have a picnic?"

"That sound like a g-" The loud ringing of your cellphone cut off the conversation and drew you away from the kitchen counter to retrieve your phone from upstairs.

Apparently one of your employees made an error at work and they needed your help to fix it before it caused problems for the software. You inquired about the error and thanked the heavens it wasn't something that you needed to leave home for.

"Michael I'm going to be in my office for a few minutes, finish your breakfast and watch some TV until I'm done OK?" You called out and got an 'alright' as his answer.

About an hour has passed and Michael was getting bored of watching TV. They were showing some low budget show about vampires and he was in no mood to sit through it.

What was taking you so long? You had said a few minutes and it's been an entire hour and you haven't left your home office.

He hardly gets to spend any quality quality time with you and now your work was getting in the way of his day. He wasn't happy.

Deciding he's waited enough, Michael clicked off the TV and marched up the stairs to the see what was taking you so long. He decided not to knock and just barged in ready to demand your attention but stopped himself as he saw you typing furiously on your laptop and talking sternly at whoever was on the phone.

"There is absolutely nothing you can give me as an excuse right now, this could completely crash the servers and we can loose Gigabytes of data because of this."

You always looked so fierce when you were pissed off about something. Your usually calm and collected demeanor was replaced by one of dominance and authority that always made his knees weak. Just the sound of you scolding your employee made him hard and made him want your attention even more.

He closed the door behind him and walks over to you, fully determined to get what he wanted despite knowing he wasn't allowed to disturb you during work.

"Y/n are you almost done, you promised that we'd spend time together today." He whined kneeling beside your chair. His big blue eyes looked up at you but you didn't even give his a side glance.

"Today is my day with you they get you every other day, can't you handle this later?" You shot him a serious glare that shut him up but it didn't deter him from his mission. Being ignored was one thing, but you brushing him off for your work on his day was the last straw.

You didn't question him when he crawled on the floor to get under your desk. You didn't even question when he spread your legs apart to make room for himself in the tight space.

What did get your attention was the sharp tug of your panties that made them snap when he tugged them with his finger. The pull was so strong it pulled you along with it.

He could be such a brat when he couldn't get what he wanted. You didn't mind it but your work couldn't wait.

You could tell he was getting impatient as you hardly reacted to his desperate acts for attention. The way his teeth nipped at your inner thighs and the wetness his tongue left in it's wake as he licked your folds with vigor.

You'd be lying if you weren't getting turned on by his efforts.

If there's one thing that Michael excelled at was pleasing you to the best of his abilities.

It took all of your will power not to moan into your phone as his tongue slipped into you, his hands wrapped around your hips to pull your lower half flush against his mouth.

"You do know there will be consequences for this, don't you?" You said into the phone while grabbing a fist full of Michael's hair, making sure that he knew she was talking to him too.

Absolute chills ripped through you as he moaned loudly against your sex. His hot breath against your dripping sex was euphoric and you could help but grind your hips into him to get more.

"Listen to me, today is my day off and I have business at the moment to take care of. I'll deal with you and your mistake tomorrow." You ended the call and threw the phone on the desktop.

You pulled away from Michael and yanked him by his hair to get out of the tight space.

"You can be a real brat sometimes you know that?"

"You were gone for so long, and I-"

"You know the rules about coming in here don't you?"

"I know. I- I'm sorry."

You sighed and gestured to him to get out from under the table and to lay down on the floor. You followed after him and took the position of straddling his hips.

He looked so adorable beneath you, eyes full of anticipation for whatever you were going to do to him at that moment, you almost felt sorry for him.

"How do you think you should be punished puppy?"

Usually you would spank him or put him on time out for disobeying you, but he was right. Today was his day and you broke your promise.

"How about I do something we'll both enjoy, but at the same time you get your punishment. And if you're good we'll get ready to go on that picnic right after, sound fair?" You asked, which he immediately agreed to.

You slowly began to ride on top of Michael, his semi erection perfectly positioned against your sex making the friction delicious between the two of you.

The hairs on your neck stood up as a wave of chills ran across your skin when Michael let out a desperate moan as you felt him grow harder under you. His brilliant blue eyes glazed over in desperation and pleasure that motivated you to move faster.

"Y/n, I.. I want more..~" He panted, gripping your waist and meeting your humping with vigor.

"I know you do puppy, but this is all you're gonna get."

[1000generations]

Thank you for the tag @little-lightning-lavellan and @rosella-writes!

This is from a story in which Fen'Asha Lavellan, in a desperate attempt to stop Solas from destroying Thedas as we know it, transports him to another world. Our world.

It's been a WIP for... 6 years. 😅 There is like... 200,000+ words of this self-indulgent nonsense. It needs so much reworking it's daunting. lol

This scene is from Solas and Fen'Asha exploring McDonald's...

Fen’Asha put her lips to the straw. She wanted to taste what he was tasting, wanted to partake in his world. She was bold enough to walk the Fade, confront dragons, defeat Corypheus. Plus, she was used to tea.

”Vhenan?” asked Solas, reaching out for Fen’Asha as she began coughing.

She shivered slightly, the coughs still plaguing her throat. The sweetness was shocking, as was the cold. “Shit.”

A woman from the table next to her shot her a glare.

“What is it?” asked Solas.

“It is so strange,” said Fen’Asha. “I have never had tea like this before…”

“Yes,” he said. “Most curious.”

She tinkered with her straw, raising it up and down in the lid of her cup and finding that it made an interestingly musical noise. She shook her head.

“Many things in this world are not as they seem,” said Solas. He dabbed a fry in Fen’Asha’s Sweet and Sour Sauce and pondered it.

“What do you mean?”

“Your tea is not tea,” said Solas. “The People’s Courtis not court.”

She nodded, letting go of her musical straw.

“Yet many things are real,” said Solas. “The news depicts real events, albeit with a unique point of view.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, picking up a fry.

“It appears that there is always something at the root of a viewpoint,” he said. “Some kind of interest. For the most part, this is translucent and I presume most anyone could see through the many smokescreens. And yet, I am not so sure.”

“They seem happy enough,” said Fen’Asha.

“They are being influenced,” said Solas. “To what degree they allow it is the question. It seems clear they are involved in their own manipulation to some degree, as this world does not behave in a way that would be considered sympathetic to its own survival. They ruin large swaths of their habitats, they commit horrendous crimes against one another for trivial reasons…”

“That does not sound unlike Thedas. The Blight…”

“A worthy example,” said Solas. “Many were not willing to see the Blight as a threat. Others preferred the comfort of their ignorance and concocted many alternatives to actual events. Just like here.”

She nodded.

“That is why it is important to remain vigilant,” said Solas. “With so much dishonesty, it can be easy to go astray. And it can be easy to want to go astray, especially if reality is painful.”

“I have never opted for what was comfortable,” said Fen’Asha. “Clearly.”

Solas nodded. “This is certainly true. Our path to here could not have been easy.”

“Nothing about this has been easy,” she said. “It has taken a great deal of time to come to peace with everything that happened. And even now, I’m not even close to being there.”

“You are uncertain about me?”

She nodded.

“There were – there are – reasons for my reluctance. I could not and cannot reveal the entirety of my plans because you would try to stop me," He paused, considering her. "I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She sighed. “I am sitting here in a restaurant with you. You want to destroy Thedas, our world, and I’m sipping some silly drink like nothing’s wrong with that. We had sex, shared a bed. We make small-talk. We go for walks, make plans for a future like we’re some stupid couple. Nothing about this makes sense and no, Sloane, nothing about this has been easy. It won’t ever be easy, Sloane.”

Solas made a face as a small child shrieked nearby. He turned to see the culprit racing away through a set of glass doors with an enraged adult chasing behind in a yellow coat.

“And yet what can I do?” she continued. “I’m here in this strange land, like you keep saying. I’m here with you whether I like it or not.”

“I see,” said Solas.

“You hold out hope that you’re going to get back to Thedas to finish what you started,” she said. “I hold out hope that I’ll be able to stop you from doing that. I can’t pretend that’s not happening.”

“I appreciate you speaking plainly, Vhenan.”

“I’m glad,” she said. “Because I have questions.”

“I am sure you do.”

“Why me?” she said.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” he said.

“You are older than Arlathan?”

He sighed.

“And you are thousands of years old,” she said. “So why me? Why did you love me? My life is a flash for you, an inconsequential blip. You have lived so long. I have lived for mere minutes in contrast. I am…a fly.”

“That is a crude analogy,” he said.

“And you’re Fen’Harel. My god. Why would I think you would love me? Knowing everything…”

“I was never a god,” said Solas. “But that was what you wanted, what you expected. Your heart was always destined to break if it became entangled with mine.”

“So?”

“So I had already broken your heart once as Solas,” he said. “I had no desire to do so again.”

“But that is my burden, my pain. The choice is not yours.”

“My duty would always tear us apart, Fen’Asha,” he said. “It was because of me that you could not hold the gift of immortality. If there is a Maker in this world or the others, surely the Maker is laughing at me.”

“I think the Maker is laughing at both of us,” she said.

“At least as Fen’Harel, I could be near you,” he said.

“But you could have said…”

“We are moving in circles,” Solas said. “I tried to reduce my feelings. I knew what we had would only lead to lathbora viran, but you called for me and I answered. Like I always will.”

“You can’t keep…”

“I was selfish then. I am selfish now,” he said. “As Solas, as Fen’Harel, as Sloane.”

She sighed.

“I had hoped to assuage any temptation,” he said. “But reality crashed through. Our reality. When I learned of the Qunari plot at the Exalted Council, I had to act. And now, my mistakes must be rectified. There is no other way.”

“There always is another way,” she said.

“There should never have been a Veil. My life…much of it…seems to be a series of mistakes.”

“You would take so much to fix your error? You would insist the rest of us pay the price for your compensation?”

���There are other things at stake,” said Solas. “It is not so simple. The lyrium. The Blight. It matters little now I am here.”

“Thank the Maker for small mercies.”

He looked at her and for a moment irritation seemed to flicker across his face. He amended it into a tentative grin, then looked away as his eyebrows lowered.

“I will always try to stop you,” she said.

“I know,” said Solas. “But Thedas must be left behind for the time being.”

She nodded.

“And my desire for you…”

“You will leave that behind, too,” she said.

“No,” he said. He reached across the table for her hands. “No.”

“It’s not a good idea,” she said.

“You have doubts?”

“Of course,” she said.

“Then I wish to rectify that,” he said.

“Do you have doubts about me?”

“Not for a moment.”

“You haven’t made this easy,” she said. “Little of this makes sense.” She looked at a fry.

“I know,” he said. “But love defies explanation.”

“My mother said it was a gift…”

“Yes,” said Solas. “A choice. The reasons I choose to love you are…I simply want to. As you wanted to love me at one time. It is desire.”

“Love is more than desire,” she said deliberately.

“But desire is at the core. You can remove the love from desire, but you cannot remove the desire from love.”

“You are wise, Sloane,” she said after a pause.

“Even wisdom has limits,” said Solas.

Fen’Asha agreed, sipped her iced tea. She was getting used to the awful sweetness, to the way the drink cut into the corners of her mouth and made her tongue feel rough.

“For all the desire I felt for you,” continued Solas, “I subjected you to cruelty because of my selfishness. I never should have persisted in my desires. I should have fled sooner.”

“That’s one thing you do not understand,” she said. “I wouldn’t have traded in any of my moments with you. Even the painful ones. Because they were moments with you.”

“You could’ve been with someone, grown old with someone, had a family…” he said.

“I do not share the same wishes,” said Fen’Asha. “My family was you. Sera. Dagna. The Inquisition.”

“You did not desire children?”

She shook her head.

“But Hightown…?”

“You saw me in Kirkwall?”

Solas nodded. “I saw you through the eyes of the children, saw your kindness at the orphanage. Saw your insurrection in the faces of the nobles as they cursed you for bringing such a place to Hightown in the first place.”

Fen’Asha felt a chill. She had used Varric’s gift to her in Kirkwall, a mansion in the grandiloquent neighbourhood of Hightown, as an orphanage for the disadvantaged. She’d hired staff and enticed the right nobles, but that didn’t mean everyone took to the idea well. She thought back to the children in Thedas, wondered how they were doing.

“Some of the children saw it as a palace, a fairytale unwinding beneath their feet,” continued Solas. “Others saw dark corners and sinister hallways, not yet able to shed the horrors of their pasts. But in all of them, you were beautiful, an angel, bright as the sun.”

“More members of my family.”

Solas smiled warmly. “You would make a wonderful mother.”

“In the minds of many,” she said. “But it is not my choice in this life.”

He looked down.

“I am happy, Solas,” she said. “I do not wish for the same things as others, that’s all. I don’t want to be pitied because I don’t desire a family of my own. I am a Red Jenny. I was the Inquisitor. I was…yours. I served my clan. For a young elf from nowhere, for a nomad…it has been an incredible life.”

“It has.”

“And you were a huge part of that,” said Fen’Asha. Her fries were cold. “You still are.”

“You may be but a shooting star in my universe, a fleeting moment,” said Solas. “But you have made a permanent impression.”

She warmed. She wanted to touch him, feel him near. She wanted to reach across the table, wanted to kiss him with the mothers and fathers and children of this Edmonton watching. She didn’t care where she was as long as she was with him. She knew he would be the end of her. She knew she would be the end of him. She knew it hardly mattered now. She knew it was a horrible idea.

“I will always cherish you, Vhenan,” said Solas. “I will always love you.”

She was in his arms on his side of the table. She was sitting on his lap and he was caressing her back. She was cradling his face under his hood, under his necessary subterfuge against the misunderstandings of this world. She was breathing as he touched her hair, felt through its tresses. She closed her eyes as she kissed him.

He held her tight.

“I love you, Vhenas,” she said. “Always. Anywhere.”

I have no one in particular to tag. But I love to see what people are working on in the fandom if they care to share. 😊

[hiscyarika]

When We Were Young

Word Count: 3.6k

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Summary: Reader is the woman that Javier left behind on the day they were to be married. She sees him again ten years later, when he returns to Laredo for a short break from hunting Escobar.

Warning(s): Angst, Strong Language 

A/N: This is the first Javier fic that I’ve ever written, so if there are any glaring factual errors, please let me know. This is based off the song by Adele but I listened to this version as I wrote. I encourage you to listen to it as you read for the Full Experience.

Masterlist 

Tag Lists

There is nothing special about your Thursday afternoon trip to the little grocery store on the corner. You’re always in and out in about twenty minutes with the few things that you need to get through another week in your little Texas apartment. You always smile and wave at the pharmacist behind the counter. You chat with the elderly woman, Elaine, that always comes at the same time you do, helping her get the two cans of green beans she needs when she can’t reach the shelf.

It was the same every time.

Until you reached for the loaf of bread on the highest shelf of the aisle.

A much larger hand lands on top of yours, though immediately is drawn back at the contact. You hear a soft apology and a half-hearted chuckle. The sound of the man’s voice sends your heart racing, and you turn to face him.

You take a step back as you meet the eyes of Javier Peña, the bread long forgotten as a quiet gasp escapes your lips. It’s been years since the last time you saw him, since he left you standing on the altar of the little church down the street. He’d moved to Colombia without a word to you, leaving his entire life behind to chase after Pablo Escobar. You only knew what happened to him after that day because his family was so close to yours.

“Javier…,” you finally breathe, hating the way your chest is constricting and your throat is growing tight with the threat of tears. You shouldn’t be this upset. You should be angry. He left you without a word and still years later you’ve never gotten an apology either.

Javier feels his heart sink to his stomach when he realizes that it’s you standing in front of him. It’s been nearly a decade since the last time he saw you. The years have been kind to you, much more so than they’ve been to him. He has so many things that he wants to say to you now, so many questions he wants to ask, but instead he keeps his mouth shut.

He murmurs your name in reply, giving a slight nod of his head. There are a thousand things running through your head, but you settle on the simplest question of them all. “What are you doing here?” It’s not a demand. You’re simply curious. After all, he’s been the talk of the town since he started working with the DEA to take down Escobar. And with the drug lord still out there, you’re not sure why he would choose now to come back to Laredo.

Javier doesn’t answer immediately, trying to process the fact that your first instinct was not to lose your temper. He deserved that and more after the suffering he had put you through. He can still remember his father’s voice on the other end of the phone, not sparing any detail of your pain when they’d told you that your groom had run off.  Just the thought leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“I, uh...have some time off. My partner pretty much demanded that I get out of Colombia and come back home for a little while. Bastard practically shipped me off himself,” he told you, his hands coming to rest on his hips.

“Does anyone know you’re home yet?,” you ask. He had to have kept his arrival a secret for you to not have known he was coming. Word travels fast in your small corner of Texas. Word about Javier Peña travels even faster.

Javier shakes his head. “Just Pops. He asked me to make a run for a few things so now everybody in Laredo will know before tomorrow morning.” He shakes his head slightly. He never wanted to be a celebrity.

“Well, tell the family I said hi. I should...get going,” you say softly. You move past Javier and head for the door. Your weekly shopping trip will have to wait.

Javier quickly turns to follow you, his hand darting out to catch your forearm. “Wait! I...I wanna talk to you, if you’ll let me. Let me buy you a drink one night while I’m here,” he pleads, his expression softening as you stop in your tracks and look at him again. He doesn’t try to hold on when you take your arm from his grasp.

“I don’t know about that, Javi. It was a long time ago. I’ve moved on and let go.” Even as the words escape your mouth though, you know they’re not true. For a while you thought you had truly healed from the loss of losing Javier, but with him standing in front of you now, you know that there’s at least a small part of you that will always love him, will always ache for what could have been.

“Please. I–”

“Goodbye, Javi. Welcome home,” you interject, cutting him off before he can say anything else, before you can lose the composure that you’re already barely holding on to.

With that, you leave the little grocery store and start the short walk back to your apartment. You have to force yourself not to look back. That would be the straw to break the camel’s back.

Javier watches you for as long as he can, and even when you’ve gone beyond his eyeshot he still stands there, frozen in place and time. He’s always known that leaving you behind was wrong, but seeing you again now, it’s made him realize that not showing up that day was the worst mistake of his life.

---

When you shut the door of your apartment behind you, the tears you’ve been holding back finally escape you, falling in silent waves down your cheeks. The flood of longing drowns you, leaving your chest aching as you stand there, wondering what the hell you’re supposed to do with yourself now.

Pulling yourself together for just a moment, you go into your kitchen, taking the half-empty bottle of red wine from your refrigerator and taking it upstairs to your room. You’ve already been forced to walk memory lane, you might as well finish the course.

There’s a box buried in the back of your closet. It’s no bigger than a shoebox, and years of neglect have left it dented and beaten. It takes you some time to find it, but when you do, the tears start all over again. The only indication of its contents are the two words written on the lid in Javier’s handwriting: “Mi Amor.” You sink to the floor with the box tucked under your arm and the bottle of wine in your hand. Settling with your back against your nightstand, you take a swig straight from the bottle before opening the box.

The first thing you pull from the box is a set of old Polaroids. The dates are all written on the back, spanning from your late teen years until just a few months before your would-have-been nuptials. They’re all pictures of you and Javier, and you find yourself smiling wistfully at a candid your mother took the day you helped move him into his dorm at Texas A&I. He’s got his arms wrapped around you from behind, face buried in the crook of your neck. Your face is bright with a smile, but the old picture is hiding the tears you remember blurring your vision. He’d only be a few hours away, but anything more than right down the road had been too far.

You go through more of the box, steadily draining the bottle of wine at your side until it’s finally empty. You’ve found old keepsakes, like the dried-out corsage from senior prom and a stolen takeout menu that you’d sketched his face onto during a dinner date. There’s old letters from your college separation, filled with lofty promises and declarations of love. All are lovely reminders of what had been.

It’s not until you find a wedding invitation near the bottom that you really begin to fall apart.

Your grandmother had insisted on getting them made, even though you didn’t think it was necessary. Everyone in Laredo knew when and where the wedding was, and to you and Javier it didn’t matter much how many people showed up in the end. You run your thumb along the edges of the thick cardstock, warped and yellowed from a decade of sitting untouched. You then hold it close to your chest, taking care not to let your tears fall onto it and further damage it.

If you had been entirely sober, you would think this whole display was pathetic. Things are different now. You’re not a lovestruck young woman eagerly awaiting a new chapter of life. You’ve made a life for yourself, diving headfirst into your career. It’s a life without Javier, one that you can’t even wish to bring him into. And yet, that’s exactly what you’ve found yourself doing.

You come undone when you get to the bottom of the box.

You didn’t know they were there. You don’t know how they made it to this box. Your best guess is your mother. But in a tiny drawstring pouch are three rings: your engagement ring and the two silver bands meant for you and Javier.

Sharp, painful sobs break from your chest. You throw everything haphazardly back into the box and press the lid back down. With as much force as you can muster, you push it across the floor, watching it slide until it hits the wall and comes to a stop. You rest your head back against your nightstand, squeezing your eyes shut. It feels like you’re in that back room of the church again, surrounded by yours and Javier’s family, the world crashing around you as his father delivers the news that Javier is gone.

You hate him. You hate him for what he did to you, what his return is doing to you now.

But you’ll be damned before you admit that you don’t still love him too.

---

You’re not sure why you let your mother drag you back to the Peñas’ ranch two nights later. Though you didn’t tell her about your run-in with Javier at the store, she knows he’s home. She knows that he’ll be there. Hell, Pops had arranged the little get together just to celebrate his son’s unexpected homecoming.

And yet you’ve taken more care with your appearance than normal, being more careful with your makeup and making sure that while your outfit isn’t overdressed for the evening, it still looks nice. You’re at war with yourself, wanting to be angry and distant with Javier, but you know that there’s no way you can hold yourself to that. And you’re sure that he won’t let the night pass without trying to talk to you again, without trying to make you understand why things ended the way that they did.

You sigh softly as you walk with your mother to the old barn. It’s been cleaned up and turned into an event venue, and your heart clenches as you realize that this was where your wedding reception should have been.

Your heartbreak doesn’t last long, because before you even see him coming, Javier’s dad has you wrapped up in a tight hug, which you are more than happy to return. You love this man like family, and he’s done nothing but treat you like his own daughter for most of your life. It’s a good thing you came. It probably would have broken the old man’s heart if you hadn’t.

“It means a lot that you came, hija. I know it’s not easy for you to see him again,” he tells you, keeping his voice quiet enough that you’re the only one that hears him.

You just shake your head slightly. “You couldn’t keep me away if you tried, Pops. It’s good to see you,” you reply.

He chuckles and pinches your cheek gently before letting you go, and as he moves on to greet your mother, you go to take a seat at one of the many tables set up in the barn. There’s already a decent number of people, which makes it easier for you to remain undetected. It doesn’t take you long to spot Javier, though. He’s surrounded by a small group of people: his aunt and a couple of his cousins, all of them undoubtedly wondering about his adventures in Colombia. He’s too busy to try and steal you away anytime soon.

When your mother joins you again, the two of you make your way to the long table filled with various dinner options. Your stomach growls in anticipation. One of the best things about being adopted into the Peña family is the food. As you put your plate together, you chat with his uncle who moves down the other side of the table. Slowly, you find yourself relaxing and finding peace in being surrounded by so many wonderful people.

You take your seat again, and other members of the family start approaching you, all of them glad to see you. You laugh as Danny pulls you to your feet and brings you to the dance floor, but quickly lose yourself in all the fun. It’s the most fun you’ve had in a long time, and you certainly haven’t been this relaxed since Javier came back.

You’re so absorbed in dancing around and switching partners that you don’t notice that Javier has joined until he’s taken your hands in his and pulled you to him. You stop in your tracks then, freezing as you realize just how close the two of you are. You can feel his body heat. He’s just as warm as you remember. Suddenly you can’t breathe and you feel like the walls are closing in on you.

Javier releases his hold on you and you look quickly around you, glad that no one seems to have noticed the interaction. You walk away without a word, trying to make your way out of the barn. You need some fresh air and some distance from all of the people.

“...She’s the one Jav left on their wedding day. Poor thing,” you hear.

The words make you turn on your heels, and you find that there are more people looking between you and Javier than you had originally accounted for. Tears gather in your eyes and you make a swift exit from the barn. You hadn’t wanted to become the center of attention. In fact, it was the one thing you had prayed that you would be able to avoid tonight.

Outside, the air is much cooler. There’s a breeze blowing through the Texas air, and gradually you feel your lungs opening again. You start walking, with no true destination in mind. You can’t bring yourself to go back inside and face everyone again, to face Javier.

You find yourself in the middle of one of the pastures. All of the horses have been brought in for the night, leaving you out there on your own. You take in a deep breath, looking up at the endless sea of stars above you. The noise of the barn has faded. From this distance you can’t even see the lights from inside anymore. You let the atmosphere calm you again.

Javier watches you leave. He listens as the loud chatter begins to die down, replaced by the quiet musings of his family as they look back and forth between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to run after you, to escape the eyes that are trained on him, the voices that declare his sins for all to hear.

His head is hung as he makes his way to his father’s table, a sigh escaping his lips as he drops himself into a chair.

“Síguela,” his father commands. Follow her.

Javier looks his father in the eyes, sees their hardened gaze. He doesn’t have to be told twice. He’s lost you once. He can’t let it happen again.

You don’t even hear his footsteps in the grass.

“I need you to hear me out,” he says, the sudden voice startling you.

“Go back, Javier. Before you give them something else to whisper about,” you demand. You don’t want to hear what he has to say. You just want to be left alone. You’re ready to go back home, despite the night being so young.

You turn to face him, finding him standing with his hands on his hips, his chest heaving with a sigh. “Please. Just let me say this and then you can go about the rest of your life hating me. But you have to know that I never wanted to hurt you,” he says. His voice is getting louder with his mounting frustration. You feel your blood boiling in your veins, adrenaline sending your emotions to an unprecedented and volatile high.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant to hurt me or not! It happened!,” you yell back at him, finally losing your temper. You’re grateful for the few feet that separate the two of you. You’re not sure you could resist the urge to slap him across the face if you were close enough to do it.

“Listen, I–”

“No, Javier. You listen,” you seethe. “I loved you. I fucking loved you with every fiber of my being. I had my whole life with you planned. And then you left me at the fucking altar. Gone. Vanished. To godforsaken Colombia to fight off the drug lords. The only reason I knew what happened to you was because of your dad!”

“I wanted to tell y–”

“Shut your goddamn mouth, Peña. I’m not done. Not even close,” you tell him. You can hardly breathe now as you lay into him, letting him have every bit of the anger and the hurt that you have been bottling up for almost ten years. This is the release that you hadn’t even realized that you needed. It feels good. Freeing.

“And what happens then? You become a fucking celebrity. Everybody wants to know where Javier Peña has gone off to and what kind of heroics he’s been performing to save the world from the cocaine crisis. Me? I’m just the poor dear that got left behind. Oh, you know who she is right? You know she’s still never been married? It’s a shame, but did you know he’s off in Colombia now? I heard he’s become quite the ladies man.We’re all so proud of him.” You mock the women that talk about you like you’re not standing right next to them.

Javier closes the distance between you, taking you by the forearms and holding you close to him. And then his arms are wrapped around you and your face is buried in his chest. You can feel his heart pounding against your cheek. His hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, which is now tucked under his chin. There’s nothing that can stop the sobs from escaping you as your anger immediately melts down into anguish.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, hermosa. Please…,” he begs you.

“Don’t call me that,” you say, though you don’t have the strength left in you to give it any force.

“Leaving you...it’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made. But I couldn’t bring you to Colombia. And I couldn’t have you following me. It was easier to leave you than to run the risk of having to bury you. That doesn’t make what I did right. There’s nothing that I can do to make it right. You can hate me if that makes it better, pero te quiero, amor de mi vida.” Those last words are desperate and strained. He’s just a few words away from breaking down with you. He wants so badly for you to understand that he hates himself for what he’s done to you.

You pull back just enough to look at him. “What did you say?,” you ask breathlessly.

“Te quiero, amor de mi vida,” he rasps.

“No,” you cry in disbelief.

“Yes,” he insists, “Not a day has gone by that I didn’t wish I could change things.”

“Damn you, Javier…,” you whisper.

He cups your cheek in one hand. “You can go on hating me forever. That’s fine. As long as you know that I love you.”

You gaze up at him, taking in every detail of his face, all the new wrinkles and lines that weren’t there before. But he’s still just as beautiful as the last day you saw him so long ago. Colombia has hardened him, made him rough where he was once smooth. But he’s still the same man whose memory lives in the box on your bedroom floor. He’s still the man you loved when you were young. He’s still your Javier.

“I could never hate you, Javi. Not forever,” you murmur. You watch as his whole face softens. “Tú eres el amor de mi vida…”

And then his lips are on yours, one hand still on your cheek and the other pulling your waist closer. You close your eyes, both of your hands gripping his shoulders. You hold onto him for dear life as all of your pain and longing seeps into the kiss. Finally all the broken pieces of you are whole again, your soul reunited with its other half.

You’ve waited a long time for Javier Peña to come back home to you.

---

Tags: @theforceofdisney​ @aerynwrites​ @hail-doodles​ @murdermewithbooks​

[jeranasblog]

You can talk to me about anything

Summary: Peter asks Tony to fulfill one of his fantasies. 

Rating: E

Notes:  This story is my 10th @starkercestevent​ contribution. Kink for the 10th story: Role Play. Click here for the Bingo Masterlist.

Warnings: Adoptive Father/Adoptive Son, don’t like it, don’t read it

Read on Ao3

Peter was thinking about it for months, even before he had done anything with his Daddy. 

 Everything started when Tony was on a business trip in Europe, presenting the latest tech of Stark Industries and the house was empty for the entire weekend. Peter, who had still been pinning for his Daddy back then, looked forward to having the apartment all for himself, not to throw a party but to get off without being afraid to cry his Daddy’s name out loud for once. He tended to become so riled up close to his climax, that he frequently had to muffle the begging for his Daddy in a pillow and he was afraid his Daddy would find out one day. 

 So Peter hardly imagine anything better than jerking off in peace, maybe even using his favorite vibrator that was too loud to switch on when his Daddy was home. He opened the porn site he always visited, one hand already shoved into his boxers, looking for the ‘Daddy porn’ section he was familiar with by now. 

 The first video was short, about ten minutes long and only helped to bring him to orgasm once. His arousal had built up over months. Months of hidden jerk off sessions and quick fingering when his Daddy was still at work, therefore Peter decided to drag it out this day, coming at least twice in the evening. 

 His mind already foggy with pleasure, Peter didn’t read the headlines anymore and suddenly, he found himself watching roleplay porn the entire evening. Car drivers getting fucked by bulky police officers, little twinks bouncing on their teacher’s lap, and patients taking everything up their ass for their doctors. Ashamed, Peter started to realize that he not only wanted to get fucked by his adoptive father, no, he also wanted to pretend to be someone else sometimes. 

 The thought never let go of him, not even when his secret was finally disclosed by his Daddy. In all these months, his mind had traveled back, and since Tony and he stayed home a lot because of Pierce anyway, Peter gave it a shot. He used all his courage and decided to confront his Daddy with his request on a Sunday morning. 

 “Daddy?” He was nervous, fumbling with the sleeves of his oversized sweater and unconsciously biting his lips. Usually, his Daddy initiated new things in the bedroom, Peter had never come up with an idea before, but he was finally feeling secure in their relationship. Tony wouldn’t leave him, he would protect and cherish him, even if he wouldn’t like his idea. 

 The Alpha was sitting on the couch in the living room, skimming through the economy section of the newspaper. He wore his reading glasses and comfy pants, but he was still radiating confidence. When Peter entered the room, he raised his head, looking at him expectantly and waiting for the Omega to speak. 

 Peter couldn’t look him in the eyes, his gaze fixed on the floor. In his head, approaching the Alpha had been easy, but as soon as he really had to talk about his fantasy, the courage was leaving him. Tony seemed to sense his struggle. 

 “Baby, come here,” he put the newspaper aside and gestured the Omega to take a seat on his lap. Without a doubt, Peter followed the command and snuggled close to the Alpha’s chest. His scent was calming, lulling Peter in a feeling of being home and before he could change his opinion, he blurted out his thoughts. 

 “Iwannatalkaboutafantasy.” 

  After his words, he hid his face against his Daddy’s chest. He was blushing furiously, but at the same time he was relieved he got the sentence out at all. Tony stroked his back and pressed soft kisses on his forehead. 

 “Don’t be afraid, baby. You can talk with me about anything you wanna try. The worst that could happen is me telling you I don’t like it, but I promise, I won’t laugh, and I won’t judge you for it. Just give it a try.”

 Peter closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and gathered all his courage together. “I want you to fuck me as someone else.”

 After the conversation with his Daddy, a few days passed. Tony had been willing to try, had even loved the ideas Peter had. He had been proud of him to talk about his fantasies, to ask for things he wanted, especially because Peter was usually pretty shy. However, the Alpha hadn’t made any attempts to initiate roleplay between them, so after a few days, the thoughts faded into the back of his mind. 

 Peter was busy anyway, working on a project for one of his classes. He was supposed to build a robot and it should have been easy, but he had made one mistake in his programing code and wasn’t able to find it. Over hours and hours, frustration was building inside of him until he finally gave up and asked his Daddy for help. 

 “How can I help you, Peter?” Although his Daddy rarely called him ‘Peter’, he didn’t suspect anything yet, too frustrated from not finding the mistake. 

 “I just can’t find the fucking mistake,” he ran his fingers through his hair until he looked wrecked, his lips swollen from how often he had bitten on them. This shit was driving him crazy and he definitely needed a break. 

 Tony, however, didn’t react like Peter expected him to. “Language.”

 The Omega couldn’t stop himself from looking up stunned. Usually, his Daddy didn’t mind him cursing, even encouraged him from letting his feelings out, but today he scolded him for his language? However, one gaze at his Daddy’s face was enough for him to understand what was going on.

 He knew his Alpha so well by now he could read every single sign of arousal and seeing his dilated pupils and his hungry gaze made it obvious for him where they were heading. In an instant, his mood changed from frustrated to playful.

 “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark,” he lowered his gaze bashfully. “I forgot my manners for a second.”

 “It’s all right, Peter,” Tony’s chuckle was dark, promising the things he would do to him and Peter trembled under his voice. Anticipation was filling him, lightening every cell of his body and making him squirm in delight. “Now tell me what the problem is.”

 “Every time I turn on the robot, the program crashes after a few seconds. There must be an error in the code, but I can’t seem to find it.” He tried his best to sound innocent and he looked pleadingly at Tony with wide eyes. 

 His Daddy’s gaze turned predatory, and he smirked as he leaned forward. One hand was propped on the back of Peter’s chair while the other one was resting on his thigh, a little too high to be considered appropriate. Tony pretended to look on the screen of the computer, his face close to Peter’s neck and he could feel his Daddy’s breath grazing his skin.

 Peter wanted to throw his head back, wanted to offer it to his Daddy. Tension was building between them and slowly the Omega felt himself getting wet. The scent of his arousal must have filled the room by now, but his Daddy didn’t react besides a subtle stumble in his breath. Peter was fighting against himself, fighting to remain in his role. He wanted this, he wanted to try it out, so there was no way he would ruin this with his neediness. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, t-that’s inappropriate,” his voice was trembling, not from outrage but arousal. 

 “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t pay attention.” Tony sounded truly apologetic, but he didn’t take away his hand. Instead, he started to draw circles on Peter’s thigh, his hand wandering higher and higher until he was almost touching his cock. Peter couldn’t stop the moan that slipped past his lips. Acting horrified, he slapped his hand over his mouth, even though it had been too late anyway. Tony’s smirked made it crystal clear that he had heard his noise. 

 “I need some time to find the mistake, Peter,” his Daddy said smugly. “Scoot over, let me have a closer look at the screen.” 

 Peter obeyed hurryingly, standing up to offer him the chair, but before he could even take a step aside, the Alpha had sat down and pulled him onto his lap, back to chest. He could feel the huge bulk pressed against his ass, could feel that the drenched fabric of his pants was rubbing all over Tony’s crotch. For a second, his eyes fluttered close in arousal, his hips moving once and twice, creating delicious friction against his covered hole before he caught himself and reminded him what this was about. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, you can’t just…, it’s not proper, I…”

 “Shh.” This time, Tony’s voice wasn’t teasing anymore but filled with Alpha command. “Be quiet, Peter and stop wiggling, I can’t find the mistake when you act like a needy bitch. Better be glad if I still give you a good grade, even though you need my help with your project.”

 Humiliation was crashing through his body, making his insides tingle with pleasure. Slick was gushing out of him in waves, clouding the air with the sweet scent and he had to fight every urge inside of him to stop himself from moving. Just the imagination that Tony was his professor, using his authority to force the Omega onto his lap, was enough for him to see stars. 

 Tony continued staring at the screen, searching for the mistake in Peter’s code. His focus wasn’t on Peter and the thought made him even hotter. Slowly, his thighs started to tremble under the strain of staying still and when Tony’s finger found one of his nipples, he moaned like a whore for the first time. 

 Suddenly, the focus of the Alpha was back on him again. “Peter, you should be ashamed of yourself,” the disappointed felt almost real. “I try to help you and you act like a needy bitch, getting your slick all over me. At least get off your pants, they are drenched and filthy.”

 The words were the last straw and he started to move his hips again. Being accused of acting slutty, even though his Daddy had pulled him onto his lap, was enough to make his hole clench, to make him shiver with arousal. He knew he was easy for the Alpha, and if his Daddy had been his professor, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him as well, the attraction between them too intense. 

 A loud smack on his ass made him jump, the slight pain mixing with his arousal. “I said take off your pants. Do I have to repeat myself? Don’t you want a good grade anymore?”

 Oh, god. Peter moaned and scrambled off his Daddy’s lap, pulling down his trousers and his panties until he could finally feel the air against his dripping hole. Everything was turning him on, and before he could think twice, he was back on Tony’s lap, rubbing himself all over the Alpha’s trousers. 

 Tony growled in pretended anger. “What do you think you're doing here? Isn’t it already enough that you are a needy mess, now you ruin my pants as well?” He received a second smack on his naked ass and his eyes rolled back from the delicious pain. 

 “I’m so so sorry, Mr. Stark.” Peter looked at him with watering eyes, his lower lip trapped between his teeth. “I didn’t want it, I swear. Please don’t let me fail this class.”

 The words coaxed the first purr of the evening out of his Daddy. “I forgive you, one last time, but only if you’re good for me. Come on, get me out of my ruined pants, show me how sorry you are.” Eagerly, Peter dashed forward, opening his pants and pulling them down with his boxers. His Daddy’s thick cock was finally free, leaking furiously and Peter wanted nothing more than to choke on it.

 “Make yourself useful, boy.” Tony gestured him to sit between his spread legs, his cock twitching in anticipation of the wet heat of Peter’s mouth, but the Omega lowered his gaze ashamed. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, I can’t. It’s inappropriate.”

 The words made the Alpha growl furiously and he grabbed Peter’s neck, forcing him to his knees and pressed his cock into his mouth without giving him time to get used to it. “Slowly, I start to think you don’t want to pass this class,” he growled while Peter was gagging around his thick cock. “I asked you to make yourself useful and I don’t want to repeat myself.” 

 With a high-pitched whimper, Peter started to work, bobbing his head up and down and savoring his Daddy on his tongue. He trailed patterns all over the hard shaft, sucking every drop of precome up like it was water in the desert. He hummed around it, forcing himself to take more of his Daddy, to take him deeper and there was no way in hell he could pretend he didn’t like doing this. 

 “Look at you, little slut,” Tony’s voice was hoarse. “Acting like a prude although you want nothing more than getting stuffed by your professor. Are you that eager for me? Whoring yourself out to get a good grade?”

 Peter pinched his eyes shut, counting in his head from one to ten. He was so close, way too close given that nothing had touched his hole or his cock, not even his own hands. He had never been so turned on before, wanting to sit between Tony’s spread legs forever. 

 Time lost its meaning with his Daddy’s cock inside of his mouth, it blurred together, left him feeling floaty and content. Everything that mattered was his Daddy, his taste, his scent, his everything, and Peter lost himself in the feeling of his Daddy on his tongue. He felt so filthy, so humiliated, and the shame was fueling the fire inside of him. 

 When Tony eventually pulled back his head, Peter whined in distress. “Don’t act up, you little slut. Sit on my cock while I show you the mistake you made.”

 “Yes Mr. Stark,” his voice was raspy, his throat sore from his Daddy’s thick length, but it didn’t matter to him, made him feel like a good boy instead. His legs wobbled when he got up and the Alpha didn’t help him but watched him struggle for balance. Finally, he seated himself on his Daddy’s lap, Tony’s tip nudging against his hole.

 “You forgot one character. Do you see it?” The Alpha was pointing at the screen, showing him the mistake Peter had made, but the Omega was too far gone to even focus on his code. Everything he could concentrate on was the leaking cock against his hole, spurting precome all over his thighs while new slick was making him messy. 

 He knew it was a mistake, new it didn’t suit the role he played, but he pushed his hips back, impaling himself on his Daddy in one stroke. They moaned in unison. The fit was tight, tighter than usual. Peter rarely took his Daddy’s cock without prep outside his heat, and it was burning, hurting even, but he loved it still. He would be sore tomorrow, maybe not even able to sit and the thought made his insides clench in arousal, gripping his Daddy’s cock even tighter. 

 “God, you are a slut,” Tony tried to sound mean, humiliating, but Peter could still hear a hint of affection laying underneath. “Look at you, I’m not even asking you, but you still fuck yourself on me as if you would die without a proper cock inside of you. Think you might pass if you just act slutty enough?”

 Peter could only moan in return. He was so thankful, thankful for his Daddy’s love, for his cock, and especially thankful that he did this for him. His Daddy length was filling him deliciously, pressing against all the right spots, and assaulting his prostate. Nothing would ever feel as good as sitting on the Alpha’s cock. 

 “Let’s make a deal, Peter. When you make me come without coming yourself before, I let you pass. Let me see how badly you want it, show me how important it is to you.”

 Peter didn’t need to be told twice. He started to move his hips, dragging himself up and down, bouncing on his Daddy’s cock. His own cock was leaking precome as well, still untouched and it swayed with every thrust on his hips. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the urge to touch himself, to come on his Daddy’s cock, but once he would touch his erection, he wouldn’t be able to hold back. So he kept his hands to himself, clenched them to fists, and tried his best not to move them. 

 “So tight on my cock, like a virgin. Tell me, boy. Am I the first one fucking your slutty hole? Would you do anything for a good grade?”

 “Yes, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s answer was a breathless cry, his entire body straining from his movements. He lost himself in the fantasy, eagerly bouncing on Tony’s cock to improve his grade. He could feel every bump in his Daddy’s cock, every inch splitting him open and he knew he was close. If he didn’t up the game now, he would come before his Daddy.

 “Mr. Stark,” his voice was wrecked from arousal. “Please, let me pass, please, I’ll do anything, I swear.”

 He got a roar in return. “Aren’t you already doing everything, slut? You are already bouncing on my cock, already crying for me to fill you. What could you still offer to convince me?”

 The question was an easy one but stuffed to the brim, Peter found it hard to think. His legs were trembling, slick leaking out of him and the room was filled with little gasps and whimpers. He propped his arms on the table, the computer screen in front of him long forgotten, moving his hips desperately while he did his best to think about a good answer. 

 “I’ll come to your office twice a week after classes. Let you stuff me full again and again. I won’t tell anyone, just please let me pass, please fuck me, Mr. Stark.”

 Although the pleasure was taking a toll on him as well, Tony pretended to ponder, his eyes fixed on Peter in hunger. He watched his cock disappearing again and again in Peter’s hole, glistening from his slick that was spread everywhere. 

 “All right, boy,” he finally gave in, his hips thrusting up and meeting Peter halfway. “We have a deal. You let me fuck you twice a week and I let a dumb slut pass the class.”

 The words were too much, Peter felt could feel how his walls started to clench rhythmically, trying to milk his Daddy. He was sweating, his entire body shivering in arousal and there was no chance to hold back much longer. Before he would completely lose himself, Peter tried for the last time. 

 “I’ll be your slut, your slave, I promise. I’ll do anything you want. You can mark me, you can breed me, you can show everyone how easy I am for you, how pathetic. Please, come for me Mr. Stark. Fill me up.” The words seemed to hit just right. The moment he felt the heat exploding inside of him, Tony started coming as well, his tip pressed snugly against his prostate. 

 Come after come was filling him, stuffing and marking him, while Peter was falling apart. The movement of his hips stopped, he couldn’t lift his body anymore but thankfully Tony was grinding into him, working his knot into Peter’s body. The orgasm was taking him apart in waves and it didn’t stop, the assault of his prostate making it impossible for him to come down. 

 In contrast to Alpha’s bodies, Omegas weren’t made to come for minutes, but his Daddy was milking spurt after spurt from his cock anyway. The sensations didn’t stop, wrecking him and grabbing him tightly, until his vision started to blur and his body couldn’t do more than twitch weakly. 

 He didn’t pass out this time, trapped on the Alpha’s cock, and pressed against his chest, but he was close. He didn’t want to surrender to the sweet darkness, wanted to tell his Daddy how thankful he was, how good the Alpha had been for him. 

 The knot was catching on his rim, plugging him up with a huge load of come and his own slick. Peter slumped against his Daddy, his entire body going limp from overstimulation and a dopily grin spread on his face when he felt that Tony still hasn’t stopped coming. 

 “Thank you, Daddy. You were amazing.”

 The Alpha purred, content to knot his Omega and he pressed kisses against Peter’s temple. “You were amazing as well, baby. So good for me. I love that you told me what you like, I love that you’re getting comfortable around me.”

 Peter smiled sweetly, turned his head, and pressed his lips lightly against the Alpha’s. The kiss was chaste, sweet, a reminder of how much they meant to each other. 

 “I love you, Daddy.” He earned another kiss and snuggled closer against Tony’s chest. 

 “I love you, too, baby.” Everything was perfect. “By the way, I actually found the mistake.” Peter started to laugh.

[chick-from-nz]

Paper, Scissors, Rank (Ch: 4)

CHARACTER/PAIRING: Modern!Carrillo x Army!OC (eventually) 

WARNINGS: maybe some swearing, military slang, more military talk,  spelling and grammatical errors. Flippy floppy points of view and tenses. Could be very OOC/AU for some. Carrillo may not be narcos accurate as this is an AU. Some OC x OC 

AUTHORS NOTE:  big thanks to @1zashreena1 and @girlpornparadise for letting me bounce ideas off them  while writing this, hopefully y'all enjoy this and finally, they meet! My first time writing this way so, be nice?

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

CHAPTER:   4 OF ?

TAG LIST (OPEN): @girlpornparadise @1zashreena1 @xxidontwikeitxx @nicke0115 @allalngthewtchtower @lettherebrelight 

 It's as if running into a wall of muscle knocked some sense into her. The name on the shirt scared her enough to trigger her cadet instincts to kick in quickly to allow her to shake the hands off, step back, and salute, despite being inside, which was a tradition reserved for only the army. She held the salute for longer than necessary, wondering why the officer in front of her wasn’t returning it, instead just staring at her with one gorgeously sculpted eyebrow raised. Begrudgingly she dropped her arm, salute unreturned, and an embarrassed look on her face.

“Sir?” the title came out as more of a question than a statement like it normally would. Confusion was spreading through her brain like wildfire, this was new to her. Why was the high ranking officer, the highest she’d ever been in the presence of other than her father, not returning the mark of respect that had been drilled into her since a kid, although, given he wasn’t from around here, it may not be something he is used to. That and he probably never associates with someone that is as low of a rank as herself.   

“Perfect just the Cadet I was looking for, although I must say, not the meeting I was expecting” 

Fuck, that voice, I think I’m in love. Was the first thought that came to mind. That voice, gravely and like the richest of chocolates dossed with the slightest accent, matched the attractive man that stood before her, and hearing it oh so close to her, it made her insides melt. Her imagination definitely had not done his voice justice during any day dream that contained the handsome Colonel in front of her. Oh and how glorious those daydreams were, thinking about a particular dirty one where those huge arms of his were wrapped tightly around her, while his chest was pressed so tightly against her back had her blushing the spot.  Damn it what is it with me and crushing on the higher ups, get a grip girl! 

His words finally clicked in her head. “I’m sorry Sir, what do you mean you were looking for me?”. The confusion was most definitely evident on her face. 

The Colonel chuckled lightly, dark eyes fixated on the cadet before him. “I was made aware that the LT. Colonel was to inform the squadron of my choice tonight, is that not what happened Cadet?” 

Confusion once again hit Greyson full force. Did Sinclair know the whole time that someone had been picked. Of course he did, he said they had been informed, but according to the Colonel in front of her, he knew the exact Cadet that had been chosen. Why hadn’t he said anything to them then?.  

It was at the end of the previous thought that the Cadet deflated, maybe he had told the cadet that had been selected, but it just wasn’t her. Shame ran through her like a lead bullet, of course she wouldn't have been chosen, what Colonel in their right mine would chose a Cadet who had been swept up in a rumour that she was fucking the LT. Colonel in charge of overseeing the entirety of the training squadron just so she could make her way to top recruit. 

“Cadet? I asked you a question”. His tone was clipped. Harsh but straight to the point, and just the right amount of authority to snap the cadets attention from  being in her own thoughts to looking him dead in the eye. Before she quickly averted her gaze to stare at his boot, that alone made him smirk. Good , he thought, she knows her place. 

“I’m sorry Sir, I ummm, I got lost in my thoughts, and umm, no the, ah, the LT. Colonel did not inform us of who you had picked, Sir...” Greyson stuttered, the Colonel was quite the intimidating man up close. All broad shouldered, straight backed and cold facade. If she was being quite honest with herself, she thought the rumours of his brutality might well be true from where she was standing. The way he was watching her was like a predator waiting for his prey to make the one wrong move that would land them in his jaws. A shiver  of fear ran down her spine at the thought. 

The Colonel huffed in annoyance. “Then I suggest you spend less time in your head and more time paying attention, especially when being addressed by a senior officer, Cadet! A mistake like that will get one of your crew killed if you're not careful” 

The cadets stomach plummeted at the thought, she knew all too well what would get a fellow soldier killed, her father liked to remind her that during her weeks leading up to her enlistment. The countless horror stories that had her waking up in a cold sweat had instilled a deep fear of failure within the cadet, but she had not let that show throughout her training, least of all her father hear off it through the chain of command. 

Flustered, Greyson replied with a quick, “I’m sorry Sir, I really am”, only to be laughed at by the Colonel.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it when someone dies Cadet, I’m sure you know that all too well with what your father has done, don't let his mistakes become your own!” The final part was growled out with an anger that permeated the air. 

Greyson swallowed down her rising anger and levelled the officer in front of her with a glare. It was a well known fact amongst the instructors that mentioning her father struck a nerve within her and set her off, many a time she had been reprimanded for near miss fights from her fellow cadets pulling the dad card around her. The cadet figured that either the Colonel knew this and was trying to get a rise out of her, or just knew of her father's past indiscretions and was trying to use it to discredit her. It didn’t matter which thought she pondered more, both made her blood boil just as much. 

Trying to keep a cool demeanor around the officer in front of her was a struggle. He was smirking at her like he just had just won the lottery, all tight lipped and cocky. He had got her hook, line and sinker, she had fallen for his trap. Giving a frustrated huff the cadet looked away from the smug officer in front of her, hoping for something to grab her attention so she could dispel her anger. It seemed however, the Colonel wasn’t done just yet. 

“Yes I know all about Daddy dearest and his mistakes, Greyson. It's a wonder you even bothered to enlist with all the hatred and dishonesty that follows your name around.”. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, if this was the cadet he was going to steal away from the signal corps then he needed her to rebut him, yell at him, something. Anything that would show some hard spirit that would be needed to complete the daily brutality and challenges that would likely come from being in his team. He had heard what she was capable of, now to just see it for himself. 

“Cat got your tongue Cadet? Or are you used to being fucked over in a different kind of way by your superiors. Must be nice to have the LT. Colonel at your beck and call doing your bidding for you and getting you the points to become top cadet. Isn't that right Greyson?” The teasing lilt to his tone was seemingly lost on the cadet in front of him. He watched as waves of varying emotions crossed her face. Something akin to shame crossed first, followed closely by what he assumed was embarrassment, only to be followed by, once more, anger. Which seemed to be this cadets’ default emotion. 

Greyson had never once felt this much anger in one go, yes she knew the Colonel was trying to get a rise out of her, and mentioning her father usually did the trick. The idea that he was discrediting her based on rumours and one small sighting of something that definitely wasn’t a professional interaction with the Lt. Colonel during the assessment day somehow struck a nerve so deep she was sure that this feeling was beyond anger, in fact, she was livid. He didn’t know anything about her and he was going to insinuate that! Oh he definitely had another thing coming.

“Respectfully. Sir.” Greyson quipped in a bratty tone, “You don’t know the first thing about me, so you have no right to insinuate that I am sleeping my way to the top!” her distaste for the Colonel before her was growing by the second, “I would have thought it well below your rank to believe the rumours of jealous school girls, but i guess I was wrong. Seems like you aren’t much of a fucking Colonel at all!”. The final words of the sentence were growled out in a tone so low it would have scared her fellow cadets half to death. Her eyes were alight with emotion, her eyes turning a deep green in colour, pupils constricted. The anger was rolling off her in waves. 

“There it is, that's the cadet I had heard all about. Daddy’s little mimic”. His grin was bordering maniac, he was pushing her buttons and striking the nerves he had hoped to, it was just a matter of seeing how much further she was willing to go to defend herself and her reputation. But he knew for sure now, this was his cadet. 

Those words and that stupidly attractive grin was the last straw for the cadet. Without really processing her next move she curled her right hand into a fist and aimed directly for the underside of that chiseled jaw of his, hoping for a knockout, even if she’d face a potential discharge because of it. This man had fucked her off one too many times for her to internalise these emotions. 

The punch thrown at him probably would have knocked him out too, if he hadn’t had the years of experience chasing down criminals in Colombia. He had seen the way her body had gone taught, fist curling, before she had wound her arm back and thrown it forward towards him with such conviction and determination that would have made him proud, if he hadn’t been trying to prove a point. Her plan failed though as he caught her wrist, her fist a mere inch from its intended target. He used her wrist as leverage, while taking a step forward, and slammed her, not all that gently, into the wall behind her.

The air was knocked out of Greyson in an instant, instead of hitting her target, she had ended up pressed between the Colonels’ hard body and the wall behind her. His mouth hovered over her ear, breath hot with each passing exhale, the shiver that wracked her body was not one of fear this time. It seemed as if minutes passed by, she could feel every hard ridge of his body pressed into hers. From his strong thighs right up to his too defined pecs that were pinning her against the wall. He was so close his belt buckle was digging into her stomach. 

She released a shaky breath at the thought. This bastard of a man had pushed her to her breaking point and now held her against the wall like it was nothing. She struggled against him for a short moment, feigning an escape, but he just pushed her wrist closer to the wall and his body impossibly closer to her own. Quiet the compromising situation. 

Carrillo huffed out a laugh at the way the cadet struggled beneath him before slumping in defeat. He had her exactly where he wanted her, she had shown her hand and was now at his mercy. 

“I definitely made the right choice” he murmured against the shell of her ear, delighting in the way she let out the smallest of gasps. “I’d say congratulations, but I guess that's not needed. You're on the team Cadet” and with those final words he released her from his hold and took a step back. Noting the way she slumped against the wall without his support. He had to smirk while taking in her disheveled appearance, she looked positively wrecked. With that final thought he adjusted his uniform and disappeared down the hallway in search of the LT. Colonel, leaving a very confused and very flustered cadet in his wake

[kiyoomiee]

Submit To Me || Jeon Jungkook

Submit to Me ⟶ [ 2/ ? ]

⟶ genre: wolf au / enemies-to-lovers / fluff / slow burn

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ words: 2k

⟶ sypnosis: Being an omega isn’t easy, you're surrounded by judging eyes and a lot of streotypes. Being an omega isn't easy, especially when your rival is a pure breed alpha named Jeon Jungkook.

⟶ warnings: alpha!JK, omega!Reader, language, consumption of alchohol and weed, a lot of fighting, mutual pining, communication problems, degrading words

⟶ disclaimer: this is a product of my imagination. this is my first post so please bear with the mistakes and grammatical errors, English is not my first language

PART 1 // PART 2

Jungkook’s lips felt soft against yours. Though it tasted like alcohol, it didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his nape just to deepen the kiss. The way his tongue explored your mouth was nothing compared to what you experienced from your past relationship. You surrendered yourself completely and kissed him back, hoping that it would take all the pain and frustration that you felt.

“You’re such a tease Y/N. You’re torturing the shit out of me right now.” He was sucking and biting harshly on one part of your neck that you were sure it would totally leave a mark. His irises were in a deep shade of red, a sign that his wolf was taking over.

His hands slid down all the way from your back until it reached your ass. You yelped when Jungkook grabbed your bottoms only to pull you up. Your phone made a sound when it fell on the floor but you didn't care. You and your hands were too focused on roaming Jungkook's shoulders and pulling the strands of his soft curly hair.

You almost whined when Jungkook broke the kiss only to lick and attack your neck. His sudden action caused you to moan and your nails scratched his tattooed arm involuntarily, causing him to hiss. He returned the favor by putting a hand to your waist only to grip it tightly.

“A-Ah shit. Fuck you, Jungkook.”

He chuckled dangerously. Jungkook continued his work on your neck. He ran his fangs on your clavicle causing you to jolt against him as your eyes almost reached the back of your head.

You couldn't think straight anymore and neither could he. Your wolf chanted Jungkook's name over and over, you were starting to give in.

But something felt wrong. Yes, there was something far worse than having Jungkook's tongue down your throat right now. Your body felt hot and your vision started to blur.

"Jungkook wait. Stop." You weakly pushed his chest and gripped his arms tightly to get him back to his senses. He was breathing heavily against your skin when his red eyes slowly turned back into it’s natural brown color.

"Y/N what's-- Fuck!" Jungkook cursed loudly when you passed out against his chest. It took him awhile to get back to his senses but when he finally did he carried you and put you down on his bed.

He stared at you for a moment, realizing what you two just did. His wolf was taking over him when he saw you at the dancefloor. The way you looked and smelled was the last straw. The amount of alcohol he consumed was partly to blame. Jungkook wanted you to submit to him when he pinned you against the wall. He wanted to dominate every part of you so bad that he lost control.

A part of him felt guilty. He knew you were drugged judging by how dilated your pupils were when he looked into your eyes. His plan was to keep you safe yet he took advantage of your current state. He clenched his teeth and kept in mind to punish Taehyung for giving you that cookie.

Jungkook looked away and sighed. He walked straight into his bathroom and turned the water on.

After all that has happened he needed a cold bath to calm him down and help him think straight.

The heat of the sun on your skin is what got you groaning in the early morning. The sudden pain that you felt on your abdomen made you breathe erratically. The beads of sweat on your body irritated you even more. Your lashes slowly fluttered when you finally opened your eyes.

The memories of what happened last night were faint in your head. If the headache that you felt right now wasn’t enough to make you remember then the alpha beside you probably will.

The view made it harder for you to breathe. Beside you was Jeon Jungkook who’s upper body was on full display, gray sweatpants were the only thing that was covering the lower part of his body.

So many thoughts filled your mind, the thought of you two having sex was no exception cause you couldn’t find the clothes you wore last night and your undergarments were only covered by a large white shirt that reached your knees. Surely I would remember if we had sex right? I’m sure Jungkook isn’t the type to make a woman forget. Should I wake him up and ask him to do it again--

And that exact thought was the part that got you running to his bathroom and locking yourself in. Your whole body felt hot. You were thinking about Jungkook, you were ready to pounce at him even. Your abdomen hurts like hell.

You were in heat.

A female’s heat comes every month and lasts for about a week. The heat of males lasts the same but it only comes once a month during winter, which is mating season. You despised it. It's so unfair and it tortures every part of your being. You knew your heat was coming but you never expected it to happen today, especially with an alpha close by. You took every bit of restraint and self respect that you had just to keep yourself locked up and not throw yourself at Jungkook.

Oh Goddess. You called out, hoping that she would prevent you from losing your mind.

Meanwhile, Jungkook's eyes opened quickly when the strong scent of vanilla and lavender filled his lungs. He didn't even bother to stretch his limbs just to find where the sweet smell was coming from.

His lips parted when his brown orbs were slowly turning red, his wolf wanted to take over and he knew exactly why. Any wolf nearby could tell that you were in heat, alpha's most likely. Since alphas and omegas are "destined for each other" they are the ones that are most likely affected when sensing heat.

Jungkook was frustrated that you weren't in his pack, the mind link would surely help to check if you were okay. Atleast she had the decency to lock the door, he thought. Because if you didn't, you two would probably end up in a situation you'll both regret.

For the first time in his life Jungkook didn't know what to do. He just stood in front of his bathroom door as thoughts filled his mind. He badly wanted to help you through your heat yet one wrong move, the everything will be even more complicated than before. It's the heat that's making me like this. The heat. Yes, it's the heat.

Maybe fate was playing with the two of you. You despised one another yet you can't help but to attract each other.

You on the other hand, gathered all the might and courage that you had. Jungkook was startled and took a few steps back when you suddenly opened the door. You didn't even bother to look at him and just focused on finding your things and go. You were panicking inside your head, the clothes that you wore last night were neatly folded on the table beside his king sized bed yet it immediately crumpled when you gathered it without any care. Your main priority was to get out of there immediately yet you couldn't stop yourself from asking Jungkook what happened.

"Jungkook, about last night--" You tried to speak but he immediately cut you off.

"Last night was a mistake Y/N."

Your eyes met his brown orbs that held the same emotion the first time you interacted with him. It was cold, so cold.

"Of course it was. But.. did something happen? Between us?" You asked cautiously.

Jungkook let out the fakest laugh you ever heard as he crossed his arms on his chest.

"Really Y/N? Did you really think that something will ever happen between us?"

"What's with the attitude? How the fuck am I supposed to know? You tell me Jeon, why else would I be wearing your fucking shirt right now?" Your blood was starting to boil because of anger.

"Because you made a fucking mess on your clothes! You really shouldn't be drinking Y/N you know why? Cause your weak ass can't handle simple alcohol. I did you a fucking favor and you're not even a part of my pack." He growled, emphasizing his last statement.

"So that's what this is about? You being a little bitch cause I won't bow down to you? Well guess what? I never will cause submitting to an alpha like you would only prove that I'm weak. I'm glad that I'm not a part of your pack. Anyone would be unlucky to have someone like you as their alpha." You attempted to leave but he caught your wrist before you even made a move.

"Oh yeah? Is that why you had your tongue down on my throat last night? Tell me Y/N, if you hate me so much then why the fuck did you kiss me back?" Jungkook smirked when you were caught off guard by his question.

"It was a mistake Jungkook. We were both drunk." You looked away and refused to look at his eyes. Restraining yourself was already difficult but he made it even harder the moment he touched your wrist.

"I'm pretty sure that you enjoyed it though." You were sure that he knows you're on your heat yet he's pushing both of your patience and limits.

Both of you turned your head's when you heard the sound of Jimin's voice behind Jungkook's door.

"Kook? Who do you have in there? You do know it's dangerous to have an unmarked female that's in heat in a house that has 3 alpha's with no mates right?" Jimin's concerned voice was very clear.

It's a good thing that Jimin's a beta. He could sense the different scents around him yet unlike alpha's, he doesn't go crazy when he smells a female wolf in heat.

Jimin didn't expect to see the two of you when he opened the door. Heck, he knew that you two couldn't stay in the same room without fighting. The sight in front of him made his jaw drop almost instantly. Your cheeks were in a shade of bright red and Jungkook was clearly restraining his wolf. Both of you showed too much skin and the smell of sexual tension was very clear in the air.

When the door was wide open now, you took it as an opportunity to finally leave. But Jungkook’s voice made you stop your tracks.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m going somewhere where you’re not around.”

“Really? Wearing that? Do you need me to remind you that I’m not the only alpha in house and in this city?” He mocked.

“Oh god! Jimin? A little help here?!” You cried in frustration and you raised your brows at your best friend.

“Okay I’m confused as fuck but I have to side with Jungkook for this one. He’s right Y/N. It’s dangerous for you to go out in that state. How about you go to my room and I’ll go run for some heat suppressants?” 

You parted your lips, trying to make up words to say something but nothing came out of your mouth.

"Don't argue with me on this one Y/N."

You sighed and nodded your head in defeat. His idea was the best one to be used so that you could avoid problems.

But deep down inside you knew you couldn’t stay still and just wait for Jimin to come back, especially with Jungkook around You wanted to get out, the sooner the better.

[enbiart]

Let the Curtains Fall Closed

The three of them get reprimanded by Hojo, and Sephiroth accepts the inevitable.

This was it. It was over. This, this was going to be the straw to break the chocobo's back, he just knew it. Angeal and Genesis may have been able to tolerate his quirks and eccentricities before, but there's no way they'll stick by him after this. They respected him too much, held his skills too high in regard.

He clasped his hands behind his back to keep them from trembling, knowing far too well at this point the consequences of being visibly nervous around Professor Hojo. He stood at attention, back straight enough to hurt, and kept his gaze straight ahead of him, resisting the urge to follow the Professor's angry pacing. He did not glance at the other two, though he desperately wanted to get a read on them.

Were they nervous? Were they angry? They were probably angry. It was his fault they were here. He should've tried harder to stop them, shouldn't have joined them, shouldn't -

"Sephiroth."

Somehow, he straightened further. He did not gulp nervously, but he did clench his hands where they were hidden. The note of disappointment in the Professor's voice was worsened by the fierce scowl on his face, eyes filled with anger.

"I am very disappointed in you, boy. You are held to higher standards of conduct, as you are well aware; I expect better than this from you. You know far, far better than to stoop to this. Pathetic. Where's your head, boy? Has spending time with those inferiors made you stupid? "

"No, Professor."

Hojo's eyes flashed. Sephiroth tensed. He wasn't supposed to reply yet. He knew that, he knew he wasn't supposed to speak until the Professor was finished, and he did it anyway. Gaia, how many times was he going to fuck up today?

Slap!

"Did I say you could speak, boy?!" Hojo yelled. Apart from his turned head, Sephiroth did not break position, nor did he reply. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He ignored his stinging face to turn and face the Professor. For once, he was grateful for the order. The Professor's ire was familiar to him; His friends' looks of horror and anger were not. He did not want to watch their image of him shatter.

Hojo reached up and grabbed his hair, dragging him into his space. "I taught you better than this! I did not waste my precious time and funds on you just for you to go and make a fool of yourself! I made you what you are, boy, and I can unmake you! Understand?!" They were so close that the Professor's enraged yelling had spittle flying onto his face. He worked very hard to keep his expression neutral; This close, even an ounce of weakness could be preyed upon. "You are superior to these failures, and I will not have you dragging my name through the mud because you wish to lower yourself to their level! You hear me?! I will not have it! Make no mistake, boy, you are what you are because of me. Do not let my successes go to your head, understand?!"

Tense silence followed that statement. Sephiroth could barely hear the buzz of the lab over his frenzied heartbeat. It was a battle to keep his breathing and face even. Hojo kept him still by the painful grip on his hair, searching for a hint of weakness in the teen's demeanor. Disappointment flashed in his eyes before he pushed the teen away from him, muttering about further punishments as he stalked off.

Sephiroth stood stalk-still as he listened to the Professor's footsteps taper off further into the labs, but even as they disappeared from his hearing he did not move. He tensed, torn between wanting to rip the band-aid off in one go and wanting to delay the inevitable. It was over, there was absolutely no salvaging this situation. Genesis and Angeal had seen just how pathetic he truly was, how much of a lie his career was. They knew, they knew he was a fake now, it was just a matter of how badly they'd react. He had no idea what they'd do. They'd leave, of course, not wanting to be associated with a fraud like him. They might even tell the other SOLDIERs. They might yell at him, betrayed, or --

"...Are you okay?"

What? "What?"

Turning at last, he was faced with the concerned faces of his soon-to-be-former-friends. He blinked, confused, as Angeal slowly raised his hand and brought it to his face where the Professor had slapped him. Oh, right. Of course Angeal would make sure he wasn't hurt before getting mad. He was nice like that. Pain lanced through his heart at the thought that he'd be without this sort of care once his physical integrity was ensured.

(You deserve it, a voice hissed, Just look at you. You're pathetic. Of course they'd leave.)

(You don't need them, another murmurred, You're above them. You'll show them the error of their ways.)

(He tried not to listen to either one.)

Giving himself a mental shake, he made himself respond. Thankfully, his voice didn't tremble or shake. "I'm fine. I was expecting worse. I believe he restrained himself while you two were present." He didn't mention the fact that it meant he would probably be called back down here for an even worse punsishment sometime later. They looked upset enough at the thought that that earlier show had been considered restraint.

In fact, Genesis looked well and truly pissed. That was to be expected, of course. Now that Sephiroth had reassured them of his wellbeing, they were free to be as open with their contempt as they wished. Naturally, Genesis was the more intense of the two, so he would obviously be far more incensed than Angeal. Not only that, but he was also deadset on becoming Sephiroth's rival, viewing his friend as a true testament to his skill. For that image to be broken down so abruptly...

Sephiroth took a deep breath, and braced himself for what he really wished wasn't coming.

"I can't believe he gets away with that! What the hell is wrong these people?! Who the hell does he think he is?!" Genesis snarled, hands on his hips and eyes ablaze with fury. He ranted on and on, with Angeal nodding along. Meanwhile, Sephiroth... Sephiroth was confused. Why were they angry at the Professor? It didn't make any sense, unless -- "Seph, are you sure you're alright?"

Genesis was looking back at him, arms crossed and worry blatant on his face. His heart dropped. Oh gods, they were in denial. He could... he could ride that, keep pretending he was something he wasn't but -- No. No, they deserved better than that. Than him.

He sighed, and consciously tried to soften his expression. "It's okay, Genesis." He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and tried to smile. It felt more like a grimace. "I... I'm sorry."

Genesis looked baffled. "What the hell are you apologizing for?"

"...A lot." He said, barely more than a whisper. He sighed again. "Mostly, though, for tricking you. Both of you."

"...What."

Oh boy, they were really determined to deny the truth of things, weren't they? Well, he wasn't going to let them live a lie. He owed too much to them to let that happen. With a new strengthened resolve, Sephiroth set upon explaining to them.

"I'm not the person you thought I was. I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true.I... I'm weak. Pathetic. I didn't work for my rank, I was practically given it. My strength, my skill...It isn't mine. It wasn't something I worked for or deserved, and I... I let you think that I really was someone that impressive."He paused, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. His eyes burned something fierce, but he hasn't cried since he was six years old, and he wasn't about to stoop to such a low level now. Not in front of them. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I understand if... if you don't want to be my friends anymore.... I wouldn't, either."

It hurt to admit the truth to them, and it hurt even more to watch the incredulity slowly morph into anger as he spoke. He expected it, and said nothing following his admission, keeping silent as to allow them to digest what he'd said. Genesis had a fierce scowl set on his face, and Angeal a sharp frown.

"Sephiroth..." Angeal said, seemingly conflicted. It was dishonorable, he knew now, to have lied to his friends for so long, and he braced himself for the coming rebuke. "What... what on Gaia would make you think that?"

It was Sephiroth's turn to frown. How could they seriously not get it yet? "You heard the Professor. I have only accomplished what I have thus far because of what he's given and done to me. Without him, I would be nothing."

Ah, there it was. Realization flashed on both of their faces, and now even Angeal looked positively thunderous. He almost relaxed at that, thankful that he wouldn't have to mortify himself further trying to explain his shortcomings.

The other two shared a look, some sort of silent conversation passing between them, and Sephiroth resigned himself to the loss of the only friends he's ever and probably will ever have. It hurt, enough to force the breath from his lungs and make him nauseous..

"Huh--?!"

Or maybe it was the deathgrip currently squeezing the life out of him that was hurting so much. What was going on? Were they... were they hugging him? Actually, literally hugging him? Right now? What the hell..?

"Goddamnit Seph, I don't even - I don't even know where to start on that." Genesis said from where he was squeezing him from behind. He still sounded mad, but strangely enough...it didn't seem to be aimed at Sephiroth himself. He couldn't see his friend's face, held tight as he was by Angeal in front of him, grip so strong it was almost bruising. Seriously, what was going on?!

Grunting, Sephiroth fought to free himself from the undeserved embrace. It was rather hard, with himself being gathered in Angeal's arms and Genesis wrapped around them both, but he managed to tear himself away. He felt like a cornered animal, his heart nearly beating out of his chest, and he was almost certain his anxiety showed on his face.

"What are you two doing?!" He hissed out, not quite yelling, but still panicked. He was so confused. He didn't understand -- What was wrong with them?! "Don't you get it?! I tricked you! I tricked all of you! I - I'm a fake, a fraud! Why -- ?!" He choked off. They looked so angry, but somehow even more so heartbroken. Why were they so sad for him? They're not supposed to be sad, or worried, or anything -- they're supposed to be angry! They're supposed to feel betrayed, to be disappointed, to hate him over this. Why... Why..! "Why aren't you angry?!"

They shared another one of those damn looks, anger falling from their faces with visible difficulty. When Angeal spoke, it was gently, as if dealing with a frightened child. It wasn't too far off the mark. "Sephiroth, we're angry, yes, but not at you. Never at you."

That was -- weird. That was weird. It didn't make any sense. Who else would they be mad at if it wasn't him? The Professor? Ha! "Why..." He tried to ask them why, why not him, why not leave, why still stay and try to comfort him when he clearly manipulated them, but the words just wouldn't come out. They were stuck in his throat, his mouth suddenly dry and scratchy, and they wouldn't come out no matter how hard it tried. Either way, they seemed to understand.

On some sort of unspoken cue, they came around him, bundling him close and leading him towards the elevator. "Let's get you back to our apartment, Seph. We'll explain there." Genesis's voice was oddly soft as he spoke, his touches as soft as Angeal's, and it only served to bolster his confusion. Why were they being so gentle with him? It was so... strange.

He didn't try to resist, though. He liked their apartment. And...

And there was a subtle, warm presence steadily building withing him. Seeing the kind, protecitve warmth in their eyes as they oh, so gently and lovingly guided him away from the labs made something...shift. It was small, and barely noticeable, but it was there. He still felt raw and vulnerable and all-around awful, but somehow...that was okay. Apart from the fear and anxiety that strangled his heart, there was a slow-building sense of security that grew as they whispered reassurances in his ear.

He was safe, with them. They weren't going to leave. For some unknown, gaiaforsaken reason that he just couldn't fathom, they were still here, and they were here to stay.

He wasn't...alone. He could barely believe it, but it was true.

He really wasn't alone anymore.

[heathered-beinn]

BTS American Hustle Life Ep4

Ep 3 recap: BTS are in LA to learn about hip hop. During that episode they met their dance teacher, Jenny Kita. She set them a few challenges including a solo demonstration, a dance battle against professional dancers, and the task of choreographing a dance routine in small groups. J-Hope’s dance skills shone the brightest throughout which was both a surprise and a delight! Jin, despite being the least proficient dancer in the band, tried really hard and it paid off in the final challenge – he and J-Hope were deserving winners.

We also started to see the friendships between the band members more, which was quite lovely. I really hope this continues in the series.

 On to Episode 4!

Holy cow, that dorm is an absolute pigsty. Ewwww! The amount of water bottles alone makes me want to cry.

Lol, I wonder how RM and Jimin ended up having to clean the dorm up?

They did a good job with it though and somehow managed to find some fun in between. The bathroom scene was hilarious!

Like last episode Jimin appears to have dropped some of his mask. Maybe I’m just seeing things but in this ep he just seems a little softer around the edges - more playful rather than loud and over-the-top. I think RM is good company for him. I’m not sure how to word it without accidentally making it look like I think the other lads treat him poorly (which I don’t believe they do!!) but I think RM is quite respectful to Jimin? As the leader RM’s attention will be pulled in many directions and when he can give spare undivided attention he probably spends it more on his elder bandmates as they are closer to his own age. However, I get the sense that when he does focus on Jimin he does it with the kind of patience and gentleness that the others are maybe not quite so liberal with? That’s not to say he won’t tease Jimin or joke around with him (he does) but so far it comes across as a little warmer than the others perhaps because he’s naturally gentler in nature? I’m probably talking out my **** here but that’s just what I’ve sensed.

One final thing: Jimin’s English is really improving!

So while Jimin and RM are cleaning the dorm, Suga, V, and Jungkook are on laundry duty. LMAO how is that fair? I was thinking that the “chores” were punishment for losing the challenge in Ep3 but Jimin and RM were so close to winning and yet seem to have been given the worst chore?

LOL, how can those three lads make laundry seem so complicated??

They really are big kids – I’m glad they can find ways to have fun though. But ewwwwwwwwww Jungkook, the 3/5/7/10 second rule is a myth, don’t eat things off the ground – particularly in a foreign country!!

Woah!!! they licked each other’s ice creams without hesitation!

To be honest I think it is more of a reflection on my own culture rather than theirs that this seemed so surprising to me. Generally sharing food without the ‘ew that’s got your spit on’ and other hang-ups – particularly between boys - ends around 8-10 years old here.

Jungkook sweetie, I really doubt you’ve put on much weight – are you sure you haven’t just grown another few inches? It certainly looks like you’ve grown. At this point you might end up towering over Suga and Jimin.

Ah so Jin and J-Hope are food shopping. So maybe these chores are not punishments for losing the challenge. I’d still like to know how Jimin and RM got the short straw to clean the dorm lol.

Oh good grief, BTS cooking – after their challenge in the first series I dread to think what poor concoction they’re going to come up with.

OK so J-Hope’s cheese sticks verdict… V = X, RM = XX, Jimin (so cute as he bounded over like an excited puppy) = too polite to use his new English word “disgusting”

Jin’s ham on toast concoction: LMAO at Jin blowing on the forkful before feeding Jimin. No comment on Jimin’s tongue action though…

It seemed to taste okay judging by Jimin’s reaction. RM does not agree lol. It was cute how Jin was feeding the rest of the toast to Jimin and Jungkook like a parent feeding infants.

After what I wrote earlier about RM it’s nice to see the other lads interacting with Jimin more. I wonder if some of the impatience that occasionally comes across is simply down to the editing?

So we move on to a new day and the whole group are heading to Long Beach by foot. Crikey, Jungkook looks like he’s grown another inch over night!! Why on earth is he wearing two layers in the LA heat???!!

It’s great to see that BTS are still ‘star struck’ by celebrities. I guess, back then, the band were not that well known – at least not like they are now. They certainly did not cross my radar – not like 1D did.

LMAO – V randomly saying he drooled when he saw Warren G. What?????!!!!

Warren G seems a great guy; very chill and calm with the band. *Again I’m going to say it but I love how BTS have the confidence to say another man looks handsome like they did when admiring the photo in the record store*

Yeah Warren G is a really decent guy.

There’s something fundamentally poetic in the way that Jimin said of Warren G, Snoop Dogg, Nate, (in a tone of amazement and disbelief) “They were just elementary kids but became legends”. I mean, BTS were once ‘elementary school’ kids and while, in that moment, Jimin did not know how big the band would get, the same sentiment applies to BTS.

So their new challenge is to write lyrics based on their own lives to Regulate.

Good boys; slapping on the sunscreen – thumbs up for skin care!

Oh good grief Jin, if the American dorm is slowly becoming like your Korean dorm then I shudder to think what state your Korean dorm is in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooh so the band are opening up a little about their lives in order to make lyrics for their rap.

After a bit of travelling by bus and making friends with the locals, Jin and J-Hope settle down in a park to talk. We learn Jin started off acting and not singing? Now that’s interesting! Not all of BTS had joining a band or even BTS’ music style in mind from the beginning. Jin also has a brother and he was into hip hop so Jin had some knowledge of it before joining the band.

J-Hope’s turn and he admitted when he first joined the band everyone was a rapper and he was the only dancer which made him feel remote.

This, again, is really interesting to learn as this was the scenario I was pinning on Jimin – unless there were different BTS members back when J-Hope joined? I really don’t know how the band was formed so I hope at some point they talk about this. I liked how Jin admitted he was surprised to hear about J-Hope feelings. They should talk like that more often.

RM and Jimin travel to another part of town – near the school/college that some of the most famous rappers in the music industry attended. I really like the motto of the building “Enter to learn go forth to serve”. I’m not American so I don’t know it’s true connotations but to me it’s simple and strangely compelling. Like; ‘We don’t care who you are either come in and learn and repay by using it to serve the community - or travel forth on down the street and sign up for the army and serve that way. There’s a purpose for everyone.”

RM and Jimin talking <3

Jimin’s answer to what he found difficult when he joined the band is fascinating. While the translation felt a little off, it reads as he cares a lot about what others think of him and doesn’t want to let anyone down or let any of his (self-perceived) shortcomings hold others back. In order to achieve this he spent a lot of time trying to catch up or improve so that no one could easily spot his weaknesses. Ultimately, he wants to care less what others think of him so he can lose some of the pressure? I really think there is a lot more to this “want to care less about what others think” than the vague answer he gave (or was edited in). His starting phrase “I should live quietly for the sake of my team” was quite a loaded sentiment and didn’t quite follow what he said next – definitely some careful editing there.

RM’s sentiment echoes this. He talked about seeing a very over-weight man walking around LA topless and admired the man’s confidence to not care what other people thought. RM wants some of that confidence to stop constantly watching out for what others thought about him. This is the type of pressure many celebrities talk about a lot. In my opinion, any one remotely “famous” are seen as role models (rightly or wrongly) and society holds them to ridiculous standards. Make one mistake and that’s you cancelled like you are some item in a shop that can be returned for a refund. I personally think people have a very skewed idea about what makes a ‘role model’. For me, a role model shouldn’t be perfect but when they do make mistakes they should own up to it, apologise, and attempt to fix or make up for any hurt caused. We, as their fans, need to relearn how to accept an apology, forgive human errors, allow people to learn, and move on. Min rant over.

Moving on: Suga, V, and Jungkook are down near the beach front discussing their lyrics. The way V instantly thought of his Dad tells me he’s quite family orientated. It was touching the way he said he made him the person he was today.

Jungkook’s thoughts where based more on his internal thoughts of himself as a person and a musician. It was very honest of him to admit that back home he’d been pretty confident of his talent but once he joined (BigHit?) he quickly realised there was a lot of people with as much, if not more, talent than him and it knocked his confidence. I wish Suga had spoke more about his own thoughts rather than just write the lyrics.

 Challenge Day:

To be fair, all three groups rose to the challenge and not only had some great lyrics but sounded polished and rehearsed. We only got snippets of the songs but from what we did hear I would struggle to pick a winner. I guess, for me, it would feel like picking one’s persons’ struggles over another’s. Hard to judge.

Lol at Suga oversharing about being in the toilet when he was writing *crying with laughter face*

Awww, Suga, V, and Jungkook won. They definitely tried harder with this challenge than the one in ep 3 so I felt it was deserved.

Final musings:

Another interesting episode. I think the band learned a lot more about hip hop this episode and Warren G was a real gent. We also learned more about each band member in terms of their thoughts and experiences when joining the band. We (I) also learned more about their personalities which hadn’t been so clear in previous eps and series. I think the editing can misconstrue some moments so I’m probably going to re-evaluate my musings on each band member from time to time – this is a good thing though!

Looking forward to ep 5!

[miastideclock]

Day6 Kissing Their Crush

Could you do a Day6 reaction where they lean in to kiss their crush? Whether or not the kiss is accepted can be up to you!

Word Count: 1781 Summary: What happens when the individual members of Day6 leans in for a kiss with you, their crush.

Sungjin (Park Sungjin) :

The cold breeze ruffled your hair and kissed your skin as it blew past, making chills run down your spine. You shivered at the sudden cold, your date immediately noticing. Sungjin was quick to act, because before you knew it, his coat was draped over your shoulders to keep you warm. You turned to him and gave him a smile of appreciation, to which he smiled back and the moved his gaze to the ground, still smiling.

This was the third date you had been on, and you found yourself falling hard for the man to your left. He was everything you dreamed of, kind, smart and warm hearted. So when you finally reached the front door to your apartment complex, you felt your mood falter. You didn’t want the date to end.

You stopped at the door and turned to look at him yet again. Even though there had been a minimal amount of words spoken on the walk home it was nice. It was more than a comfortable silence, it was the feeling as if you had just gotten the heaviest of bricks off of your chest and shoulders, but without saying anything.

“So this is me.” You spoke in a tone just above a whisper. There was no need for you to speak any louder as Sungjin was right there. You were standing on the first step of the small staircase that lead into the lobby, making you the same height as him.

You nor Sungjin knows what happened in that moment, as he found the confidence of a few hundred Gods and grabbed your hand to then lean in and kiss you. Meeting his lips felt as if you had been drowning and finally caught a breath of fresh air. Both you and Sungjin felt sparks flying from your lips and electricity streaming through your bodies as you pulled apart, looking at each other with massive smiles.

“Thank you for tonight. We should do this again sometime.”

“I can’t wait.”

Jae (Park Jaehyung) :

“Now that, that is a bad movie.” You chuckled as the credits started rolling, slamming your laptop shut. The boy next to you seemed to agree as he chuckled with you. You and your friend Jae had watched a movie, as you did every single Thursday night for a few months now.

You dropped the laptop to the ground and shifted around so you were laying against his chest, again, like you always did. The night would typically start with you and Jae making something to eat, like nachos or pizza. You would then eat it all way too fast and wobble over to your bedroom where you would lie on your bed in a food-coma while watching a bad movie. After that you would cuddle and talk about your day, your future, funny moments in the past, or whatever crossed your mind.

“Hey, Y/N. Can I ask you something?” Jae suddenly asked before you could start a proper conversation. You nodded your head and let him know he could always ask you something, serious or not. “This might come out of nothing, and for that I’m sorry, but,” he hesitated, taking a deep breath before looking right at you. “Can I kiss you?”

To say you were caught off guard was an understatement. You had to admit that you had been thinking of Jae differently lately, but it was just very recent that you saw him as potentially more than a friend.

“Jae, I-“ You said in a sigh, but you were cut off by a very embarrassed Jae, mumbling and fumbling around, coming with about a million excuses of why he had to leave, not even finishing one sentence before he began another.

“Jae!” You tried again, finally gaining his attention as he shut up and stopped moving around. “At least take me on a date first, then you can ask me again.” You smiled, the boy lighting up like a Christmas-tree.

“I’ll do that.”

Young K (Brian Kang) :

It was a quiet afternoon, and you were sitting in the kitchen area of your dorm studying. You knew that if you were in your room you would just pick up your phone and either watch stupid tiktoks, or text your best friend Brian. And if you did that, you wouldn’t get anything done, especially if you were talking to Brian. TikTok you could be able to put down, but not Brian, not in a million years. You and him had been friends for a few months, meeting when you tried to flirt with him at a bar. It had gone terribly wrong though as he had picked up your flirting and general friendliness, and had quickly put you in the friend-zone. You weren’t too bothered by it as he didn’t owe you anything, but you of course wished he felt the same way you did.

The song in your earphones changed, and as there was a split second of silence, you heard someone enter the room. You looked up and saw your kitchen-senior standing there looking at you and waiting for you to notice him. You quickly ripped your earphones out and greeted him.

“Hey, I tried calling you and but I guess your phone is in your room or something, but there is a guy outside with flowers looking for you. You want me to buzz him in?” The kitchen-senior asked, and you let him, your mind ranking through all the potential people it could be, but none of them made any sense.

Before you knew it, none other than Brian was standing in the kitchen with you, looking nervous. “Hey, what are you doing here?” You asked as you slowly rose from your seat by the kitchen table. He took a deep breath before answering. “I like you. I really like you, I’m like borderline in love with you. I’m really sorry if this ruins things between us, but I couldn’t live another day not telling you.” He rushed, catching you off guard. He then reached out the flowers he had in his hand, wanting you to take them. You stepped closer to him and gently grabbed the flowers, looking at the gorgeous display of colours in them. You then looked back up at Brian who was standing there, nervously waiting for your reply.

Your heart raced as you took one more step towards him and cupped his face with your free hand, guiding his face to yours, crashing your lips together. He immediately followed, melting your lips together in a long awaited kiss. After a while you pulled away, grinning like a mad-man.

“I’ll take that as a yes to the question I didn’t ask.”

“Yes I’ll be your girlfriend, you dumdum!”

Wonpil (Kim Wonpil) :

You were out on a blind date your friend had set up, and so far it was going pretty good. The boy was cute and easy to talk to, so you immediately grew interested in getting to know him better, maybe even going on more dates.

You had gone out for coffee, so it was a pretty simple date, making it easier to really talk and get to know each other. You had been sitting there for a few hours, and it was now time to part ways. You walked out together and after he held the door open for you, you turned to bid him goodbye.

You guess you had given him the wrong signals, because as you leaned in to give him a hug, he leaned in for a kiss. You were quick to turn away, his face meeting your hair rather than your lips. You awkwardly pulled away and saw how red he was, embarrassed that he read the room wrong.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” He apologised once he realised his mistake. You were quick to assure him that it was fine.

“Don’t think about it. It was an honest mistake. But maybe you can try again after our next date.” You smiled, also very smoothly asking him for a second date in the process. He smiled genuinely and nodded, agreeing.

Dowoon (Yoon Dowoon) :

You were sat at a table, stirring the straw in your watered down drink, looking out into the air. You were never a fan of parties like these, you had to admit. Being dressed up in fancy dresses and high heels wasn’t the problem, the people were. They always acted so much better than everyone else even though they were equals, at least in your eyes. But when your best friend Dowoon begged you to come with him to a party his company was throwing, as his plus one, you had to agree. You owed him a favour after all, he did come with you to that one baby-shower you really didn’t want to go to, and not stopping there- he actually made it fun.

“Here, sorry, there was a line.” Dowoon said as he sat down, handing you the new drink, one that wasn’t watered down and room temperature. You quickly thanked him and took a sip of the refreshments.

You sat there talking for a while before you suggested you two would dance. Dowoon quickly agreed as he needed to stretch his legs. You got to the floor and danced away, him twirling you around and messing about to the rhythm, all until the song changed, opting for a slower beat. You stood there for a second before Dowoon reached his arm out for you, which you playfully grabbed. He pulled you close and placed one hand on your hip and the other in your hand, you doing the same, but on his shoulder instead.

You danced slowly around, just looking at each other. For a moment, it felt like the world around you vanished as you looked deeply into his eyes.

The past few weeks, things hadn’t been the same between you two, not necessarily in a bad way. There had been more touching, and cuddling even. For a while you didn’t think much of it, but one day when he pulled you in for a hug, you felt your heart skip a beat.

The world continued to disappear around you slowly, until you saw him glimpse down on your lips, you finding yourself doing the same. Before you knew it, he was leaning in, you meeting him in the middle. Your lips met softly, sending shivers down your spine. You didn’t know this was something you craved this much. Not until you found yourself deepening the kiss, Dowoon gladly following suit.

I apologize for any grammatical errors!

Hope you liked it!! Feel free to request more x

-bentley

[heliotrope-journey]

Dear vampire hunters,

The following post will contain information that many visitors to this blog will find disturbing. If you or anyone you know is affected by the issues discussed, please call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA for short) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or if you live outside the United States, please reach out to the Crisis Text Line by contacting the appropriate number in the link enclosed. Viewer discretion is heavily advised!!!! Photo by Joe McDaniel on Unsplash.

During the week of September 13 – September 19, the Heliotrope Journey team had to say goodbye to Allgloss, who departed from us as a tester for deeply personal reasons that I would will not be disclosing in specific detail for the sake of his well-being. Let me stress that this announcement is not an error on my part this time. It is a permanent cession and we will forever miss his love and support. He will, however, be a spectator that will cheer us on as we focus on the fourth prototype episode and our future projects.

Since he was also the biggest donor to the funding of the series’ development, I believe that you deserve to know why I’ve made the heartbreaking decision to not allow him to return in the foreseeable future while also keeping in mind that certain details about these events should be kept private out of respect. On the previous week, Allgloss had a severe crisis at his home and at the time, I had my own issues in real life to sort out such as panic attacks I’ve been having during and after my shifts in my real life job so I unfortunately did not have the right state of mind to make time for him. He did not believe me when he threw me head first into that position to explain myself, which left me stuck between a rock and a hard place. Though I wish I worded my replies differently, I couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t have made much of a difference regardless. That led me to having no idea how I felt about all of this. The week got worse from there on out, but the following Monday ended with Allgloss being sent to the emergency room to receive treatment for his injuries and that description was the tip of the iceberg. All I can tell you next is that the last text he sent me afterwards had him double down on his delusional paroxysm, therefore, undermining every single apology he gathered the courage to tell me. I was having trouble finding it in my heart to forgive him before that, but I would have overtime if we stayed on good terms and supported each other since then. Long story short, I’ve decided that this was the final straw.

I have severed ties with him as a result of his actions and prevented him from contacting me again because I told myself that I was through getting involved and decided that it was best that his therapist, if he’s seeing one, should take it from here. A custom level that would have been designed for him as a reward for his past donations will instead be given to a close friend on Discord that has helped me tremendously with leaving this experience to the past. I figured that it would be the least that I can do for him as a token of my gratitude for putting up with me throughout our friendship.

Why have I decided to preemptively type this post? Keeping the unwarranted backlash that a couple of my role models have faced while in similar situations in mind, my deepest concern is that Allgloss might use the situation as leverage to besmirch my name on his YouTube channel and dismantle this series before it blossoms. That way, if I receive any flaming messages over this, they will be directed to this post so they know what my side of the story is. At the end of the day, though, I know from the bottom of my heart that Allgloss would never do such a thing. It is not in his character to spite anyone based on the way they see the world unless they are harming a vulnerable group of real people. He is a good man that fell so hard because he should’ve gotten the professional help he needed during that time. I ask you to please not send any hate to his social media pages in addition to his channel because he has already suffered enough and will need a lot of much-needed time to work out his issues that have risen from these events.

Edit: This situation is not so dissimilar to the hardships and mental strain that Rachel Oates experienced in a previous relationship. I didn’t go through the exact same thing, but the comparisons and signs looked familiar. These screenshots exist to add more context to this post and help raise awareness of what had been going on.

I am so sorry that you all had to read this sorrowful essay. It was the only way for me to find closure in the matter and in case you wanted to know why a prominent contributor like Allgloss has mysteriously stepped down. It’s been agony for me to type, edit, and revise this because I’ve been looking back at the good times we have had together that ranged from tossing around ideas for Michaela’s character development to how his celebrity encounters growing up inspired me to attend online meet and greets that have risen in popularity due to social distancing. Reminiscing about these uplifting moments that made Allgloss’s bond with me so powerful before made reading through his messages during those two weeks in September all the more tragic.

I hope you understand that we’re only human. We all make mistakes in our everyday lives and sometimes it’s difficult to move on from them due to the damage they may have caused, but it’s important that they should not define what our future has in store. Likewise, the Heliotrope Journey team and myself will use this experience to better ourselves and keep moving forward so this situation will not reoccur. I advise you to do the same so you don’t soil the present while dwelling on the negatives of your past.

Health and Happiness,

WN

P.S.: I wish to thank the aforementioned friend for his blunt words of wisdom and Barb, a super creative cosplayer whose content I enjoy viewing on Twitter, for proofreading this post to make sure that the overall situation and mental health in general was discussed delicately. They’re amazing human beings that kept me afloat long after these events have transpired. :)

P.P.S.: Speaking of mental health, I’ve receiving heartbreaking news that KawaiiPixelArts lost her brother to suicide earlier today and will be taking time away from the team to recover from her loss. We gave her our condolences and we’ll keep her family in our thoughts. :( In the interim, we’ll be looking for a couple new artists to fill the void until she reopens her commissions. While I plan to contact potential candidates directly this time, if you’re a talented individual that would like to contribute to the series, please email me at westnelson.digitalartistry@gmail.com with your portfolio so that Sidiyq Qadim and I can assess your style. Further details will be posted no later than early November.

Sources and Further Reading;

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

https://www.crisistextline.org/about-us/where-we-are/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix_53ew3mys (Self-Care is Selfish!... apparently by Rachel Oates)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCWRQpfo4Q4 (We Need To Stop Romanticising Mental Illness by Rachel Oates; Skip to 22:37)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV3dbb5gxt8 ('Why Many Christian Girls Remain Single' Response by Rachel Oates; Skip to 7:08)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sv109Fphzo (How to Deal with A JEALOUS or INSECURE Person | Stephanie Lyn Coaching)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQWVJcNY-Ng (13 Signs Someone Is Secretly Insecure)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aHTHGjQ628 (Bullying Exerts Psychiatric Effects Into Adulthood)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11S-E7GMZ28&t=1s (Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard | The Full Story of a Toxic Relationship & Abuse by Rachel Oates)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzIDgEEg7no ( 6 Ways To Deal With Selfish People)