#I think the women in Naruto were done dirty | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cupajoscafe · 3 years ago

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Three Strikes, You're Out | Yakuza!AU Shikamaru Nara x OC

HELLO FRIENDS I AM SO EXCITED TO POST ANOTHER FIC FOR YOU I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS ON AND OFF SINCE SEPTEMBER 2021 AND I FINALLY FINISHED IT LAST NIGHT AAAAAAAAA i'm obsessed with this au okay???? i know it says yakuza but this is kind of a mix between the japanese yakuza and the american/italian mafia, because typically women didn't play prominent roles in the yakuza so i kind of went a little off script with that. i have been,,,,obsessed with this AU since i started thinking about it and my best friend and i have been brainstorming ideas!! this fic actually stems from a lot of the headcanoning we've done together!!! the opening scene is based on a mini comic i drew while we were talking together and if yall want i can post that here too 👀👀👀 i just,,,i love this au so much LMFAO ANYWAYS. I AM. SO EXCITED SO IM GONNA SHUT UP AND GET TO POSTING AHAHAHAHAH I HOPE YALL LIKE IT 💜💜💜 Tagging @whatelsecouldgowrong because I know she's been waiting for this HAHAHHAHH

Pairings: Shikamaru Nara x OC

Word Count: 9.2k

Genre: Yakuza!AU, Smut

Warnings: None

Contents: 18+ MINORS DNI. Oral (m&f receiving), face fucking, dirty talk, creampie. Shikamaru is kind of a dick in this AU because I say so. Entirely self indulgent. No editing, we die like women.

Summary: Shikamaru gets transferred to Naruto's gang, and his right hand woman doesn't take too kindly to their new addition.

The first strike was their very first face to face meeting. He was subjected to a trade; moving from Haruki Yukimura's gang to Naruto Uzumaki's, trading brains for brawn. Haruki needed strength, and Naruto needed intellect. To solidify their relationship in public, he would send over his bodyguard Rock Lee, and she would send over her financial advisor Shikamaru Nara. From the moment she knew about the trade, Yuuna was less than thrilled. She thought it was a stupid idea. They were already a close syndicate, they didn't need to lose man power and have a total stranger join their ranks. She thought it was dangerous and would only cause problems within their gang.

When the trade happened, both gangs were present. Naruto had sent Lee over, and Haruki had sent Shikamaru over.

"To think I'm gonna have to start working with a whole new gang," He groaned, dragging his feet along the hardwood floor of Naruto's office towards him. He reached a hand up to scratch at the back of his head. "Damn, this is gonna be such a drag."

Yuuna's eyebrow twitched. In an instant, she hopped down from her place sitting on the edge of Naruto's desk and she stood in front of Shikamaru so he couldn't progress any further. He stopped in front of her and glared down at the brunette.

"Do you need somethin', Princess?" He inquired, raising an annoyed eyebrow. "'Cause if not, you should get the hell outta my way."

With a glare, she straightened her back and stared up into his narrow mocha eyes.

"It's in your best interest to play nice, Mr. Nara. I know more about you than you think I do." She started, her voice low. "You try and pull any funny business, and I'll have your name, birthday, address, and social security number plastered over every rival gang's territory, you understand me?!"

What started as a low growl in her tone escalated to a firm raising of her voice by the time she finished. Naruto swallowed nervously, shifting slightly so he could move to de-escalate the situation if he needed to. Haruki glared at the woman that threatened her former right hand. She was not impressed. She understood where Yuuna was coming from and appreciated how fiercely loyal she was, but she wouldn't tolerate threats.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, found it intriguing to say the least. Oh, how amusing this little mouse was. He took a drag from his cigarette and pulled it from his lips, then exhaled a cloud of smoke against her face. She coughed and brought her hands up to her face to fan the smoke out of her eyes. He simply smiled at her and leaned in close, pressing his cheek to hers and whispered,

"Is it really a smart idea to be threatening the guy who handles your paycheck?"

The shit eating grin on his face when he pulled back and took a drag from his cigarette made her blood boil.

"C-Cocky bastard--!!" She exclaimed, face hot from his husky voice in her ear, moving to lunge forward to smack that sneer right off of his face.

"Yuuna!!" She heard from behind her. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to see Naruto glaring at her from his desk. "That's enough. Back off."

She gritted her teeth and reluctantly stepped back, looking up at the scarred face that stood in front of her. The smirk that rested on his lips ignited a rage filled flame in her body.

"You heard the man." He said. The mocking tone in his voice nearly made her jump at him again. "Back off, sweetheart."

He took another drag of his cigarette and walked past her, being sure to flash her another condescending smirk as he did so. She stood there and grimaced, her long nails digging into the meat of her palm as she balled her hands into fists.

"I'm sorry about her, Mr. Nara, Miss Yukimura." Naruto stood up from his regal desk chair and bowed an apology to the syndicate head and her former right hand. "I'll be having a very thorough discussion with Miss Misaki when we're done here."

Haruki hesitated for a moment before she spoke. "I think it's best you let her, and anyone else who feels similarly, know that you and I have been working together for quite some time now." She explained, taking a slow step forward towards him. "This is just our first public move."

As she progressed forward, she stopped when she found herself beside the brunette.

"All that dirt you have on him, I also have on you." She whispered firmly, almost menacingly. "Keep that in mind when you decide to smear his info across the city."

Haruki shifted to look at the woman next to her and smirked, then continued on her path towards greeting Naruto with a handshake. Yuuna swallowed and let out a shaky breath as soon as the attention had been shifted from her to the syndicate heads.

"Anyways, before we were so rudely interrupted, I'm sure you'll find Shikamaru to be a valuable asset to your gang." Haruki announced as she walked over to his desk. "His intellect and financial advisory are unrivaled."

Naruto leaned over his desk to extend his scarred right hand out to the smaller woman in front of him. Haruki gave it a firm shake.

"He's been my right hand since day one." She explained. "You'd do well to remember to treat him with the utmost respect."

"Of course. We'll welcome him with open arms." He smiled, placing his left hand over Haruki's as they shook. "I'll be sure that everyone here sees to that."

He shifted his attention to the man beside him and gave a friendly smile.

"Good to have you, Mr. Nara." He extended his hand out to shake. "I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to us."

Shikamaru paused for a moment and took another drag from his cigarette before giving Naruto's hand a firm shake.

"Getting used to all these new people is gonna be such a pain," He sighed. He shifted his gaze from Naruto over to Yuuna, who was glaring at him from the middle of the room. He couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his lips. "But I'm sure we'll eventually get along just fine."

---

The second strike was when she attempted to expose him for espionage. Since day one, she hadn't been convinced he was a loyal member of their group. So she took it upon herself to keep an eye on Shikamaru in case he tried to sabotage Naruto's position of power. Yuuna had noticed that a few times a week, once Shikamaru was finished with his duties with Naruto, he would take a drive to meet up with Haruki and have dinner. She saw no reason for them to be having these meetings and was convinced that he was relaying top secret information about their business doings to his former employer. With a confident smirk, she carefully made her way back to Naruto's office in a taxi to relay her findings to the boss she respected so much.

What she hadn't expected was to see Shikamaru there when she burst through the doors.

"Hey, Naruto!! I've got somethin' to tell you--" She exclaimed, heels clacking to a dead stop on the ground as she laid eyes on the coal haired advisor standing next to her boss.

"Yuuna. I thought I told you to head home for the night." He inquired, turning his attention from Shikamaru to the woman in front of him. "What's so important you came rushing back here so late at night?"

She stood there gritting her teeth, eyes wide and staring daggers into Shikamaru's skull. Regaining her composure, she turned her attention to the blond man before her.

"Sir, I need you to listen to me." She demanded, stepping forward until she was at the edge of his desk. "Mr. Nara isn't the loyal advisor you think he is."

"What?" Naruto asked, furrowing his brow. Shikamaru scoffed and took a drag from his cigarette.

"I haven't liked him since day fucking one. He's always given me a bad feeling, so I've been watching him carefully to make sure he's not up to anything." She explained, pressing her palms flat on his desk as she leaned forward to address him. "He's been having secret meetings with Miss Yukimura three times a week to discuss our affairs with her. That's top secret information, sir. He's been divulging classified information to your so-called 'colleague'."

She pulled back from his desk and stood up straight, shifting her gaze over to the spy in question and flashing him a triumphant smirk. It faded almost as soon as it came on when she realized that he looked cool as a cucumber and was smirking right back at her.

"Yuuna…" Naruto sighed, scratching the stubble on his cheek. "I know about the meetings."

She whipped her head around to look over at Naruto and her eyes almost popped out of her skull.

"S-Sir…?!"

"They were my idea." He explained, exhaling and sitting down in his chair. He laced his fingers together and looked up at her from his seat. "I thought it would be better if our two syndicates were as transparent as possible with one another, so I arranged for Shikamaru and Haruki to meet and discuss our standings. They strategize about things that will work well with the businesses we already have while also not stealing businesses from her. That way we don't step on each other's toes. He's the go-between from Haruki to me."

She stood there dumbfounded, staring at Naruto as if she'd seen a ghost.

"...So he hasn't been divulging classified information in those meetings then." She squeaked, feeling her face begin to burn up from a mixture of shame and embarrassment.

"No, he hasn't." Naruto leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "They're both very smart individuals and it's clear they've been nothing but honest with us about their affairs."

She balled her hands into fists, long painted nails digging into the meat of her palms. She shifted uncomfortably in place, heels scraping against the hardwood floor of his office. She grimaced and bit her lip, trembling ever so slightly with agitation. A chuckle erupted from next to her and she shifted her emerald eyes to see Shikamaru's mocha hues staring back at her, glistening with delight as a maniacal grin stretched across his lips. He took a long, almost exaggerated drag of his cigarette, and blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth with a chuckle.

"Well. That's oh-for-two." He sneered, giving her a teasing smirk as he flicked the ashes from his smoke into the ashtray on the desk. "I wonder if Naruto's a baseball kind of guy."

He replaced the cigarette between his lips and began to exit the office at a lazy pace, dragging his feet across the floor with his hands in his trouser pockets. As he did so, he sang quietly under his breath but made sure he was loud enough for Yuuna to hear as he passed her.

"'Cause it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game."

Without saying anything more he opened the door and walked out of the office, then shut the door behind him. Her blood boiling from the utter humiliation she'd just put herself through, Yuuna let out a frustrated wail and brought her hands up to her head, pulling her hair from her skull.

"That cocky motherfucker!!" She squawked. She ran her hands through her hair and took a moment to collect herself before turning to Naruto, averting his gaze but straightening up to address him. With a deep sigh through her nose, she closed her eyes then finally met his eyes. "...I'm sorry, sir. I made an ass of myself again."

Naruto sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"What the hell am I gonna do with you?" He mumbled, pulling his arm from his neck to drum his fingers along the wood of his desk top.

"I just--..." She started, trailing off after a moment. With another sigh, she closed her eyes and continued. "...I just don't want all of your hard work to be ruined, Naruto. You've built something amazing here and I don't want anyone taking that away from you."

He paused, listening to her words before he spoke. He leaned back in his chair, recalling what Haruki had told him in private on the night of the trade.

That one is fiercely loyal. You'd better be treating her well.

He drummed his fingers against the wood again and sighed, then then laced his fingers together and looked up at her with furrowed brows and a stern expression.

"Well...nothing really came out of those accusations. And I know your intentions were good." He spoke, his features softening. "So I suppose this time you're off the hook."

She let out the breath that she was holding and sighed with relief. "Thank you, sir. I'll be more careful going forward."

He smiled at her, taking her word. Yuuna was a trustworthy member of his gang, and he knew that if she said she was going to do something, she would absolutely do it. When the air of tension dissipated from between them, his smile grew wider and he chuckled, narrowing his eyes and squinting over at his subordinate.

"Soooo, you and Mr. Nara seem to be getting along well."

She froze in place and her body stiffened, her face flushing red; though this time it wasn't from embarrassment. With a twitch of her eyebrow, she scoffed and whipped around to the side so he couldn't see her blushing.

"Like hell we are." She snapped at him, digging her nails into the flesh of her forearms as she crossed them over her chest. "He's a fucking asshole and the less I get to work with him the better."

Naruto giggled, leaving forward in his chair and resting his chin on top of the back of his hands as they held his head up.

"Oh really?" He prodded, tilting his head to the side. "'Cause that's not what your red-ass face is saying right now."

---

Sometime in between the first two strikes, Shikamaru had found himself in an unfortunate situation. As it turned out, at some point he had caught feelings for her. He wasn't sure if it was the time she asked for a smoke from him when he knew she'd never smoked in her life, or if it was the time he came back to the office plastered after a meeting and she ended up taking care of him throughout the night, or if it was when she was being followed by some delinquents and she called him to help her out and then proceeded to walk her home every day so they wouldn't bother her again. Would he act on those feelings he ended up with? No, of course not. She hated him, after all. At least that's what she was trying to make him think; he could see through her act and knew it was all for show, but he played along for her sake. He recognized the tension between them when they were alone together and it only made it worse. He was constantly pushing those feelings back; he had a job to do as Naruto's right hand, and no woman, no matter how attractive or how confident, was going to stop him from that.

But he was waiting. Waiting for Yuuna to slip up again, to accuse him of a lie, or to corner him with "proof" that he was planning something again. Because this time, he wasn't letting her off the hook. This time, it would be her third strike.

He had offered to stay at the office late tonight, going through paperwork and documents to sort out what needed to be discarded and what needed to be transferred to receipts. He sat back in Naruto's desk chair and flicked the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray on the desk, sighing deeply and scratching the top of his head.

"Man, maybe I should have gone home when he offered, this is such a drag." He grumbled to himself. He pushed the chair back and stood up, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. He crossed them over his chest as he looked down at the paperwork scattered around the desk. "Maybe I'll call it for the night."

He began to pull all the papers together and replace them in the file folders they were organized in, save for one sheet that he needed to take home to look over more. He sighed as he pulled open the filing cabinet beside the desk, replacing the folders to the alphabetical places they belonged.

Suddenly, there was a click of the doorknob turning. He hadn't been expecting anyone to still be in the office so late, so the sudden noise made him jump a little as he whipped his head up to look at the door. And he was absolutely delighted when he saw who entered the room.

"Hey, Naruto? Sorry, I know it's late, but I came to ask you someth--"

Yuuna stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the office and saw Shikamaru behind her boss's desk. Her gaze flicked to the opened filing cabinet and the loose sheet of paper on the desk.

"You sneaky little fucker." She growled, eyes narrow and glaring daggers into his skull. "I should have fucking known you would try and pull some shit like this while he's gone, you god damn snake!!"

He simply looked at her with a smirk on his face. She was all bark and no bite. Despite all of her threats, she'd never once acted upon them. Shikamaru knew from the get-go the type of person Yuuna was, and he wasn't scared of her. It was quite the opposite, actually. He was very fond of the brunette. Fond enough, in fact, that she was the center of his thoughts. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. When he wasn't focused on work or in a meeting with Naruto or Haruki, she was all he could think about. The way she walked with a confident stride in her step. The way her emerald eyes caught the light and glimmered. The way her fingers drummed against the hardwood of the meeting table as she reviewed important documents.

But he found himself most often thinking about her lips. How the pink hue of her lipstick glistened and drew him in. How cute they looked when she was pouting or claiming she was upset at him. He oftentimes wondered just what would happen if he kissed those pretty, pouty, pink lips of hers. What would they taste like? What would it feel like to pull her lower lip between his teeth as he ran his hands along her bare skin? How would it feel to have those soft lips of hers wrapped around his cock, tears spilling from her eyes in a blissful expression as she choked on his girth?

That last thought rotted through his brain nearly every time he looked at her. Every time her tongue grazed over her lips absently in thought, he felt the blood rush between his thighs and he had to force himself to get a grip and cool down. But now...

Now it was just the two of them, and the tension in the air was palpable. He knew it, and he knew she knew it too. That sooner or later, something was going to happen. And oh, did he ever hope that something was going to happen tonight.

He stared at the woman on the opposite end of the room with a smirk on his face. He looked down at the document on the table and took it into his hands. He folded the paper into a neat little rectangle and opened his blazer, placing the document into the inside pocket. He returned his mocha hues to meet her glare, reaching down and shutting the filing cabinet. At a snail's pace, he began to make his way around the desk and walk over to her.

"What the fuck is your problem, huh?!" She shouted, watching as he took his sweet time. "You gonna say something or what?!"

Shikamaru stopped to reach into his pocket and pull out a new cigarette. He placed it between his lips and plucked out his lighter, igniting the end and replacing the metal back into his trousers. He took a deep inhale and then pulled the cigarette from his lips, exhaling the smoke with a smug grin.

"Naruto needed to go home and get some rest. I offered to stay. He gave me a list of things that needed to get done tonight." He stated, shifting his gaze back and forth between her eyes. "I'm just doing what I was told to do."

"Bullshit." She accused, standing her ground and staying firm. She watched as he fiddled around in his pocket to produce a scrap piece of paper that indeed did have a list of to-dos scribbled on it in Naruto's handwriting. He smirked and stuffed it back into his pants and watched as she became increasingly more antsy, shifting slightly in place, but still remaining firm.

"I gotta say," He started, taking another long drag from his cigarette. "I'm surprised you still have it in you to keep going with this. I mean, come on, I've proven I'm a decent guy time and time again and you're still suspicious? This whole thing is starting to turn into such a drag."

Yuuna scoffed and straightened up, looking directly into his eyes and running her tongue along her upper lip. He watched as the muscle slid along her flesh, feeling the blood rush to his stiffening erection. Shikamaru stifled a low groan with a drag of his cigarette as he kept his eyes fixated on her lips.

"I'll keep looking." She griped, furrowing her brows and frowning. "I don't care how fucking long it takes. I will get you."

His eye twitched minutely and he flicked the ashes off the end of his smoke, holding it between his right index and middle fingers. He strutted towards her with a smirk, backing her up against the door as he caged her in with his left hand. He leaned in close, face mere centimeters from hers, and he chuckled.

"Listen here, lapdog," He muttered, his voice low and husky, lips stretched into a sly smile. It was almost threatening. "Search all you want. You won't find any dirt on me. I'm squeaky clean."

She could feel her heart beating in her throat and her breathing quickened, shifting her gaze back and forth between his eyes. She pressed her back up against the door, dragging her nails against the wood as she glared up at him. The tension was unbearable. With a scowl, she suddenly lifted a hand up to his head to grasp at his hair, loosening it from its confines a little as she pulled his head to the side. The sudden motion caught him off guard and he winced at the pain, but let out a low, hungry groan at the stinging sensation. He looked down at her and panted.

"Fuck you, Nara." She hissed, baring her teeth but pushing her back off of the door to press her chest lightly against his. He pulled his hand down from its spot above her head on the wood, then mirrored her movement, grabbing a fistful of her hair and snapping her head back. She let out a moan at the abrupt movement, loosening her grip on his hair and falling back against the door again. She looked up at him through heavy lashes as her breathing became labored.

"Strike three, doll-face." He muttered, then surged forward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. She returned it instantly, opening her mouth to allow his tongue to roam around as it pleased. He pressed his body up against her, lifting his right arm up to rest against the door and pinning her against it. He began to rut his hips forward against hers, groaning into her mouth as he felt his cock twitch beneath his trousers.

Yuuna pulled her hand from his hair and ran it down his neck until it rested against his chest, where she began to shift it under his blazer to slip it off. He pulled back from her lips for just a moment, placing his cigarette between his own and shucking his jacket off of his shoulders. He let it fall to the ground, then pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled the smoke. He dove forward again to capture her in another fiery kiss, fiddling with his belt as he let his tongue explore her mouth. She let out a soft moan as she felt him grind his throbbing cock against her, finally free from its confines. She pulled back to catch her breath, resting her head against the wooden door as she gasped for air. Shikamaru took the opportunity to pull her head to the side, exposing her neck, and placed open mouth kisses along the skin. He licked at her flesh, sucking it until he left a mark, then moved along to an empty space and did the same thing there until her neck was covered in bruises. She let out a string of quiet moans as he did so, reaching her hand down to curl her fingers around his girth, stroking him in a steady rhythm. He groaned against her skin, releasing his grip on her hair to slip his fingers under her dress and drag them over her clothed slit.

He smirked against her skin when he felt how damp her panties were, gliding the pad of his middle finger over her clit and circling it lazily. She trembled underneath his touch, pulling her other hand up from the door behind her to grasp at his shirt and pressing her forehead into his neck.

"You like that, Princess?" He asked, but he already knew the answer when she let out a whimper underneath him. He pulled back just enough to watch her, holding his smoke in between his long, thin fingers. He then used that free hand to grope one of her breasts, pulling it out from the low-cut fabric and kneading the flesh between his unoccupied fingers. He slipped the digits on his other hand under her panties, gliding them through her folds and chuckling as he heard her whimpering again. She let out a low moan feeling his fingers dipping inside of her, clenching onto the fabric of his dark green button-up.

She gave his cock another steady pump, pulling her head back from his neck to look into his eyes. They exchanged a lust-filled glance before she shot forward to kiss him again, shifting her hand from his chest to the back of his head where she held him against her lips. She ground down against his fingers, moaning into his mouth and stroking his girth quickly.

"Fuck--" He muttered against her tongue, pressing himself up harder against her and quickening the movement of his wrist. She moaned as she felt him slip another finger into her heat and in turn flicked her own wrist faster. He groaned again, pulling away just enough to catch his breath as he snatched her lower lip between his teeth. He pulled his fingers from her cunt and began pressing tight circles against her clit with his middle finger. He shifted his head back just enough to prop his cigarettes between his lips, holding it between them as he took a long drag and blew the smoke out from the side of his mouth. He took his now free hand and shifted it down to pull at her thigh, lifting it up and pressing her leg back under the crook of her knee.

The shift in position caused Yuuna's head to tilt back against the door, a soft moan resonating from her lips as her eyes rolled back. She lifted her arm to wrap it around his shoulders and rested the other hand on his cheek, huffing as she refocused her gaze onto the scarred face in front of her. Shikamaru rutted his hips forward, grinding his cock against her, running the tip along her soaked panties. He groaned at the feeling, letting his head fall back a little as the cigarette between his lips threatened to fall to the floor. He tilted his head forward, brow furrowed and face hot, and ground his cock against her heat again.

"You want it?" He rasped, shifting his hand to his face to pull the cigarette from his mouth. He exhaled the smoke to the side and circled his hips against her again. She tilted her head back against the door again and nodded. He chuckled and grabbed her face, squishing her cheeks slightly, pulling her head down and forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'm not doing shit until I hear you say it."

"Fuck me." She hissed with a pant, then pulled his head towards hers to capture him in a hungry kiss. He smirked against her and chuckled through his nose, then pulled back to release his grip on her cheeks and replace his cigarette between his lips. She had to stop her eyes from rolling back into her head as she felt him slip his fingers inside of her again, breathing out a heavy pant and biting down on her bottom lip. Her brows furrowed and she looked up at him through heavy lashes. "With your cock, you shitty bastard."

He scoffed and glared down at her, maintaining eye contact for a moment. In one quick movement he removed his fingers from her soaking hole and pulled her panties to the side, then slammed his hips forward until his cock was buried inside her to the hilt. They moaned in synchronization, her body trembling as her pussy adjusted to the sudden stretch. His cigarette fell to the vinyl tile beneath them as he panted, pressing his forehead hard against hers. He stomped out the cigarette and refocused his vision on her, pressing her leg back farther and smirking.

"Fuck, you feel as good as I hoped you would." Shikamaru huffed, the grin still present on his face. He slowly shifted his hips back, sliding his cock out of her slowly. The lazy movement elicited a moan from the woman in front of him. He shifted his hips forward, sliding back inside of her, and repeated the slow action a few times. He wanted to feel every inch of that intoxicating wet heat that wrapped around him so deliciously. He chuckled as she huffed beneath him, leaning in closer to her face. "Feel good, sweetheart? C'mon, you like it, don't you?"

Yuuna furrowed her brow and huffed, the movement of her hips synchronizing with his betraying the look of annoyance on her face. She tried desperately to keep up her facade but the moan that escaped her lips was enough of an answer to his question. He scoffed down at her, lips mere inches from hers, as he slowly pressed his cock back inside her cunt. He pressed her leg back again until it was nearly flush with her chest. She gasped as he deepened his thrusts, and he took the opportunity to close the small space between their faces.

He pressed his lips to hers and she parted her own upon contact, allowing his tongue to traverse inside the wet cavern of her mouth. She shifted her leg from his grip, resting her calf up onto his shoulder. He groaned into her mouth and held her thigh as he thrusted his hips forwards. She let one of her hands snake its way behind his head to hold his mouth against hers while the other found its way to the buttons on his shirt. She began to unbutton the fabric as he fucked into her, slipping it off his shoulders so it met his blazer on the ground.

Yuuna's hands wandered the expanse of bare skin in front of her, dragging her long, painted nails across his flesh. She pulled at his hair to separate them, huffing against his face as she caught her breath.

"F-Fuck, 's so good," She mewled, lost in the pleasure and dropping her facade. Shikamaru smirked at her and shifted one of his hands down her body, letting his thumb drag over her clit as he slowed his pace considerably. She keened at his touch, furrowing her brow upward and looking into his sultry mocha eyes.

"You like that, yeah?" He inquired, flicking his thumb against her nerves at a lazy pace. "You like getting stuffed and having your pussy played with?"

She nodded in response, moaning as his thumb hit a sweet spot against her nerves. "S-So good, 's so g-good."

He grinned wickedly at her and halted his movements entirely. He pulled himself out of her sopping cunt and gave his cock a steady stroke as he looked down at her. The rage in her eyes was absolutely delectable.

"H-Hey, what--" She stammered, heaving for breath. "What the fuck? Why did you stop?!"

He simply smiled down at her and cocked his head to the side.

"'Cause I wanna hear you say it."

Her eyes widened and her face flushed. He couldn't be serious. She frowned and gave a little snarl, baring her teeth at him.

"W-What the fuck do you mean?" She growled, still panting to catch her breath. He chuckled again, stroking his cock and leaning forward to ghost his lips over the shell of her ear and whisper.

"I wanna hear you say how much you want me to fuck you." He grinned wickedly, his breath hot against her ear. She shivered and her eyelids fluttered, swallowing thickly as her head lightly tapped against the wood behind her. He chuckled through his nose, shifting his hips forward and slipping his cock between her thighs, rubbing it along her folds. "Wanna hear you beg for it."

The sound of his husky voice rang in her ear and that alone nearly made her moan. Her knees trembled as she felt his girth sliding between her legs. Every part of her body was screaming at her to give in to his request. But she was stubborn, and even though he pretty much had her figured out, she couldn't give up her facade. Not yet. She met his gaze when he pulled back from her ear, furrowing her brow.

"I don't beg for anyone." Yuuna spoke quietly, keeping her eyes fixed on his. "Especially not for you, Nara."

Shikamaru gave an annoyed frown, sucking the air between his teeth and scowling down at her. He pulled his cock from between her legs and fixed it back into his trousers, stepping away from her and leaning down to pick up the articles of his discarded clothing. Realizing what was happening, the panic settled on her face and she watched as he collected his things.

"Wh-What are you doing?" She asked. He stood up straight and loomed over her almost threateningly.

"If you're not into it, I'm not gonna bother wasting my time." He retaliated, moving past her to grab the door handle. He swung the doors open and began to step out of Naruto's office, but stopped when he heard her call out to him.

"I--..." She started, but trailed off as if she didn't know what to say. She stared at his back, clenching her fists tightly to help soothe the anxiety that was running through her. The jig was up. He'd had her figured out, and there was no point in her trying to bluff anymore. With a shaky sigh, she straightened up and looked at the back of his head. "I--...I want you to f-fuck me. Please."

If his back hadn't been turned, she would have been able to see the devilish grin that stretched across his lips. Just as he had planned. He paused for a moment before slowly turning around to look at her. Their eyes met and he watched her throat tighten as she swallowed. He shifted his attention to her lips, those beautiful pouty lips, and he smirked. He felt his still hard cock twitch and he casually strolled over towards her until they were standing face to face. He loomed over her, gaze burning through her, and leaned his head forward until their lips were mere centimeters apart.

"What was that, doll-face?" He whispered, that cocky smile still present on his features. "You're gonna have to be a little more specific."

The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife. She stood there, breathing heavily, watching him closely as her cheeks burned hot. She swallowed again, shifting to press her body up against his, trailing her hands along the expanse of his bare chest. She felt his cock pressing against her underneath his pants and it had her almost salivating. Poking her tongue between her painted lips to lick them, she panted again before rutting her hips forward against his.

"W-Want you to fuck me, Shikamaru," She huffed, calling him by his first name for the very first time since they'd met. "Want to feel your cock inside me, w-want you to fill me up. I-I need it."

Every single word that rolled off her tongue had him groaning. He dropped the clothes he was holding to the ground and immediately grabbed hold of the back of her head, crashing his lips against hers. She let out a moan on impact, parting her lips right away so his tongue could brush up against hers. He began to walk forward, pushing her back, until he backed her up against the edge of the couch that resided in the corner of Naruto's office. As soon as her calves hit the couch, he shoved her down onto the cushions. Yuuna landed with a soft oof and she looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, huffing softly as the tension between her legs was building up again. He reached into his trousers and pulled out his aching cock, stroking it steadily a few times as he watched her. She licked her lips, rubbing her thighs together as her hands found their way to the waistband of his trousers. She tugged them down just enough so they hung around his thighs and immediately dove forward to swallow his girth, pressing her nose against his hips.

Shikamaru gave a hungry groan as he watched his length disappear behind her lips, fisting her hair and working his hips into a rhythm. He watched her carefully as she slid her tongue along the length of his cock. It was just how he'd pictured it in his head. Even better than he'd imagined. He worked himself up to a steady pace, holding her head still as his hips slapped against her face. She gripped onto his pants tightly and clamped her eyes shut, holding her breath as he fucked into her mouth. He slammed his hips forward, holding her head against them and staring down at her as he caught his breath. She finally opened her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked up to meet his gaze, panting as she caught her breath too. The look on her face was absolutely sinful. It was everything he'd thought it would have been and more. It was just what he was waiting for. He pulled out of her mouth with a groan and she sputtered as the air rushed back into her lungs, coughing and heaving for breath.

Without warning, he shifted downwards and pressed her legs back towards her chest, situating his face between her thighs. He tugged her soaking panties to the side and Yuuna gasped when she felt his tongue gliding through her folds, squirming around and desperately trying to bite back a moan.

"No point in holding it in, Princess," He growled, kissing her inner thighs and nibbling lightly against her flesh. He looked up at her and smirked as he licked a stripe up from her entrance to her clit, circling her nerves lazily. "I wanna hear just how loud you can be for me."

As if on cue, she let out a lewd moan that echoed through the empty office as he lapped at her clit. She pulled one hand up to her head to run it through her hair, and moved the other down on top of Shikamaru's to grasp at his. He smirked against her skin as he continued to devour her cunt, wrapping his arms under her thighs and holding her against his tongue. She draped her legs over his shoulders, squeezing his head lightly between her thighs as she rutted her hips against his mouth.

"F-Fuck--..." She whimpered, panting as she ground down against his tongue. She threw her head back against the sofa and moaned again as she began to feel the pressure build in her gut. "Good, s-so good."

He smiled smugly against her, sliding his tongue through her folds again. He pulled one hand from her thigh and sunk his middle finger into her heat, curling it upwards as he began to thrust the digit in and out of her entrance. He held her against his tongue as her hips rolled and her breathing became heavy, slipping a second finger inside of her to stretch her out more. He could feel her thighs tighten around his head and he knew she was close. Lashing his tongue aggressively against her clit and flicking his wrist quickly, it wasn't long before she came undone under his touch.

Her thighs clenched as her orgasm crashed over her, a lustful cry falling from her lips as her vision went white and she slammed her eyes shut. She ground down against his face, tugging his hair tightly as she held him against her, tongue falling from her lips as she panted to catch her breath. He pulled his fingers from her trembling pussy and shifted his position so he was hovering over her, the head of his cock just barely kissing her entrance. He slid it through her folds, gathering her slick and pressing ever so slightly into her hole.

"This what you want?" Shikamaru asked rhetorically; he very much knew the answer already by the way her eyes were glued to his girth pushing into her. She nodded vigorously and bit down on her lip, wiggling her hips to invite him to fuck her. He snickered and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers in a sloppy kiss before pulling away and looking into her emerald hues. "Then fucking say it."

"Want your cock," She whimpered immediately, chasing his lips and pulling him into her for another kiss. Their tongues met on impact and she tried to grind her hips down against him to push him into her further, but he pulled his own back just to tease her when she tried. She whined against his mouth and pulled away from his lips, grasping at his biceps as she looked up desperately into his eyes. "P-Please, Sh-Shikamaru, I need it. N-Need you to fuck me. Wanna feel your cock inside me."

That was all the invitation he needed. Without another word, he smirked and shoved his hips forward, burying his cock inside of her again. It felt just as good the second time.

"Fuck, you feel so fuckin' good, Yuuna." He groaned, pressing her legs back towards her chest and leaning forward to capture her in a searing kiss. He began to punch his hips forward, slamming them against hers as he pounded into her cunt relentlessly. He pulled back to look down at her and watch her expression. Her eyes were crossed and her tongue lolled from between her lips, a string of saliva dribbling down the side of her mouth. She looked absolutely beautiful. His lips pulled into a smug grin and he slapped his hips against hers, halting his movement to not only catch his breath but to admire the sight beneath him again.

"You like that don't you?" He muttered with a pant, pulling his hips back and grinding them forward slowly. She nodded furiously, digging her painted fingernails into the flesh of his arms. He continued to rut against her painfully slowly, making sure to feel every inch of her velvet walls wrapping around him. "Such a slut for my cock, aren't you, doll-face?"

He resumed his feral pace after she nodded, pounding into her heat and sealing her mouth with a kiss. He shifted one hand from under her knee to rest on her pelvis as he flicked at her clit with his thumb again. She moved to wrap her arms around the back of his neck where she held him pressed tightly against her, moaning loudly against Shikamaru's lips.

"Good girl," He groaned, slowing his pace just a little to emphasize the praise. He traced slow, lazy circles around her clit, eliciting another moan from the woman beneath him. He smirked and pulled away from her just enough so their lips were barely touching. "I wanna hear just how much you love it, yeah?"

"S' g-good," She whimpered, choking out a sob. Yuuna cracked her eyes open to see his mocha hues staring back at her with so much intensity that it made her quiver. "S-So fucking good, l-love your c-cock."

He groaned, rolling out his neck in a circle and smiling down at her. He quickened his pace again and began slapping his hips against hers, flicking tight circles against her nerves and watching her mouth grow wider and wider as her climax approached.

"Be a good girl for me and cum on my cock, yeah?" He grunted, working hard to push her over the edge. He kissed her and pressed his cheek against hers, his hot breath fanning against her ear. "Cum all over my cock, Princess. I wanna hear you scream my fuckin' name."

The coil in her gut snapped and she was sent spiraling into her climax, arching her back off the sofa and crying out Shikamaru's name so loud he was sure the building across the street could hear. The thought sent a jolt of electricity through his body and his eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head.

He retracted his hips and kicked off his trousers, then sat down on the couch next to her. He pulled Yuuna on top of him and she straddled his lap, resting one hand on his shoulder and slipping the other behind his head to pull him in for a lustful kiss. He slid one hand from her waist to the back of her neck where he pulled the ties of her dress down, allowing her to pull away from him to remove the garment. She tossed it onto the floor next to his pants and dove back in, their tongues meeting on impact. He ran his hands up and down her waist as she ground her hips back against his girth, grabbing a handful of her ass as a growl vibrated in his throat. He pulled her down and they moaned together as she sunk down onto his length.

She began to move her hips slowly at first, looking down at him and watching him with half-lidded eyes. He ran a hand up her waist to her chest where he grabbed at her tits and pulled one into his mouth, lapping slowly at the bud as her hips circled around his cock. He flicked his tongue quickly, kneading the supple flesh between his fingers as his eyes closed and he groaned against her skin. He bucked his hips upwards as she ground down on him, using his other hand to squeeze at her ass again. She let out a lewd moan and adjusted her pace, speeding up as she bounced against his girth. Yuuna rested her hands on his shoulders as leverage as she moved. He separated from her with a pop, sliding his hands under her ass to guide her along the length of his cock.

"Yeah, that's it," He praised, watching himself disappear inside of her. He bit down on his lip to stifle a groan, breathing deeply as the pressure began to build up in his gut. "Fuck yourself on my cock, just like that, doll-face."

He leaned forward and kissed her, tugging at her lip with his teeth as he shifted one hand to her pelvis. He began to trace circles around her clit again, determined to make her cum at least one more time before he gave in to his own rapidly approaching pleasure. He snapped his hips upwards, meeting her pace and making quick work of his fingers against her sensitive nerves. He watched her closely, observing every little shift in her face. When he noticed her mouth widen and her brows arch upwards, Shikamaru knew that she was close. He smirked at her and chuckled, grasping at her hip and digging his nails into her flesh as he fucked into her sopping cunt.

"Gonna cum?" He asked rhetorically. The expression on her face said it all. She nodded her head vigorously and squeezed his shoulders, huffing as she bounced along his length.

"C-Close, s-so close," She murmured, her body hot and tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. "G-Gonna c-cum, n-need to c-cum--"

He groaned with a snicker and sealed their mouths once more, flicking his thumb aggressively against her swollen clit. "Good girl. Cum for me, doll, all over my cock."

She continued to circle her hips against his, grinding down against his thumb and edging herself closer and closer to release, until finally the knot in her gut snapped and she was sent hurtling towards her climax. She arched her back forward, bucking her hips against his cock and pressing her forehead against his as her mouth fell open and her eyes sealed shut. A sultry cry left her lips and she panted as she came down from her high.

He pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around her back, then pressed his temple against her cheek as he began to thrust upwards to meet his own release. He grunted as he drew closer, his once meticulous and meaningful thrusts becoming more and more sloppy. He was desperate now to chase after her high, pounding into her used cunt like a feral animal.

"Gonna fill you up," He growled as his body trembled and his vision began going white. "L-Like the desperate slut you are."

With a snap upwards of his hips he finally allowed himself the release he had been searching for so desperately. His hips stuttered and slowed as he came, shooting thick spurts of cum inside of her with a grunt. Shikamaru panted to catch his breath, then moved his arms from her back to slide his hands along her waist and lifted her off of his lap to disconnect from her. Yuuna pulled back from him and smiled down at the man beneath her, cupping his face and running her thumb along the scars on his cheek. She leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips, basking in the afterglow of what had turned out to be quite an amazing turn of events. She pulled away and he flicked his gaze between her emerald eyes.

"You're a horrible liar, you know." He smiled, running his fingers along her salty skin. She raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't lying about anything." She said, tilting her head to the side. "I really did hate you when we first met."

"Oh come on. I know you were probably convinced that you had me fooled into thinking you hated me," He started, letting his hands rest on her hips. "But you're the easiest book I've ever read, doll-face."

Yuuna furrowed her brow and scoffed at him. He responded by flashing her a sly grin, drawing his lips closer to hers.

"That smoke break thing was the first red flag." He explained, shifting his eyes to look at her lips. "Why in your right mind, if you hated me, would you willingly drag your feet over to stand next to me, and then ask if I had a smoke I could spare? Especially when there are so many other guys around here who smoke too? You don't even smoke, so why in the hell would you ask a guy you hate for something to fuel a habit you don't even have?"

She sat on top of him and said nothing, simply continuing to trace the lines of his scars along his cheek.

"And that night when I came back to the office and was drunk off my ass." He began, looking into her eyes. "You could have just left me on this couch for someone else to deal with. But you stayed with me all night to make sure I was okay. If you hated me as much as you said you did, you wouldn't have given a rat's ass about what happened."

He leaned forward to press his lips against hers, nibbling at her bottom lip and tugging it gently between his teeth with a cocky smirk.

"You wanna know what the biggest red flag was?" He whispered. "After that night when those punks started following you and you had to call me to get you home safe, I've been walking you to and from work every single day. I know you're not a pushover, Yuuna. You can take care of yourself." He kissed her again, running his hands along her sides. "If you didn't want me escorting you to work, you could have told me to fuck off or threaten me at any time. But you never did. Not once."

He looked into her eyes and gave her a teasing smile, to which she responded by narrowing her gaze and furrowing her brow. He leaned forward again before he spoke, lips barely touching hers

"You've got it bad for me and you're just too stubborn to admit it."

She looked down at him. The jig was officially up. He had her figured out; read her like a book, just like he'd said. Finally, she smiled down at him and chuckled.

"Alright, you got me." She admitted with a roll of her eyes. Yuuna traced her thumb along his scars again, humming softly as she looked between his eyes. "I guess you won this little game of baseball between us, huh?"

He watched her eyes and smiled, leaning forward to close the gap between their faces again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rolled her over onto her back, pinning her down on the couch. He slated a knee between her thighs and shifted forwards, hovering his lips over hers. They pulled into a sly grin before they met hers in a slow, deliberate kiss. He pulled away and snickered.

"I won the second you locked eyes with me that very first time, Princess."

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a-girl-must-have-a-new-name · 3 years ago

Text

All of the times Naruto knew she danced and the one time he didn't.

A/N: I've really wanted to write some Naruto fics for a while now but just haven't found the inspiration for it. Not sure how many I'll write but I hope to make a collection of these

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The first time Naruto knew Hinata could dance it was on a mission. It was just a few months after the war. Hinata and Shikamaru were assigned as his mission partners to ensure that the diplomatic hero tour (as Kakashi had called it) would go off without a hitch. It had been a long mission, one that Naruto was slightly uncomfortable with. Sure he loved traveling and meeting friends but it felt silly to be paraded around villages like he was the only hero of the war. As though others didn’t help. As though others hadn’t died. Still, having Hinata and Shikamaru there with him made the trip worthwhile.

It was the day before one of the first grand parties to be held in Naruto’s honor. People from all over the land had gathered. All wanting to be a part of the festivities, with many young women hoping to catch the eye of the hero. Naruto felt a slight panic when the Daimyo slapped him on the back telling him how lucky he would be dancing all night.

Naruto looked pleadingly over his shoulder towards Shikamaru begging for help but the man barely shrugged before turning away. Though Naruto thought he caught the lazy bastard smiling at his misfortune. He was about to call the genius out when a gentle hand touched his shoulder.

“Naruto-kun, if you need help I can teach you some basic steps.” Hinata smiled at him encouragingly, causing warmth to spread in Naruto. Hinata was always there to save his ass. Grinning brightly to show his appreciation he grabbed her hand in his and led her away. Once they found a quiet and more importantly private area Hinata stepped closer calmly explaining what a waltz was.

“Naruto- kun in a waltz there are three steps. a forward step, a side step, then together.” Hinata demonstrated the steps to Naruto going over it a few times until he felt comfortable enough to try it himself.

“That’s correct Naruto-kun. Now after you bring your feet together you will go backward so step back with the right foot- just like that. Now bring your left foot back. Good. This time however it’s going to swing back to the side where you first started. Now bring the right foot to follow.” Hinata and Naruto stood side by side as she walked the steps with him, letting him get comfortable with the footing, gently nudging his foot to the correct step when there was confusion. Once he felt confident he had memorized the steps Hinata stepped in front of him, trying to ignore the light blush that was forming.

“Naruto-kun, I think we should practice as partners now, but only if you are comfortable.”

“I’m always comfortable with you Hinata-chan! You’re the best-ttebayo!” Hinata’s face was entirely red by now but she chose to ignore the heat. Instead, she continued on, showing him the arm positions while trying to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat when his arm came across her back.

Focusing on the warmth his other hand provided in hers. Hinata began showing him the rotations. It took quite a while to get the hang of. Especially when Naruto faltered as Hinata went to step backward when he went forward. He panicked thinking he had messed up the steps he stumbled over himself to fix it. Causing both skilled shinobi to fall. Naruto grabbed Hinata tightly around the waist, rotating them so that he landed on the ground and Hinata was cradled safely into his chest. Both stayed laying like that for perhaps a second longer than needed, Naruto once more unconsciously giving the woman a gentle squeeze before letting go quickly an embarrassed and apologetic smile on his face as he began to apologize.

“I’m so sorry Hinata-chan I didn’t mean to do that I swear! I just forgot and didn’t know if I was supposed to keep going forward or follow you!”

“No Naruto-kun it was my fault for not explaining better, you were going the right way, women have different steps to follow in the dance.”

“No! You’re great at explaining all this! really! I should have just trusted what you had told me and done that. I’m really sorry Hinata-chan but I promise I’ll get it!”

“It’s ok Naruto-kun it’s your first time, it is only natural to be nervous. I know you’ll get the hang of it. It’s our nindo, remember?” Hinata’s smile was so genuine and bright Naruto had to look away for a moment, her words lingering even after she had said them.

Our nindo.

Naruto felt a spark of energy soar through him and wondered if Kurama also felt motivated by Hinata’s words. Jumping back onto his feet Naruto stretched out his hand to Hinata. A fire burning behind his blue eyes as he clasped her hand once more. Pulling her up and even closer to him than before.

“Let’s try again-ttebayo!”

“H-hai!”

It was the evening of the party and Shikamaru and Naruto were walking around the ballroom together.

“Would you quit messing with it?” Shikamaru whispered in annoyance.

“I can’t help it, everything feels tight!” Naruto whined as he shifted the collar of his outfit. (A gift from the daimyo) and let out a string of curses. He felt like he was suffocating. Glancing over at his friend he felt envy, the Nara had on a much simpler version of his own outfit and it seemed that the man opted for his own undershirt rather than the constrictive piece of material that Naruto was currently wearing. Sighing the blonde adjusted the collar one final time before giving up and pouting.

“Hinata would feel sorry for me”

“Then go complain to her.”

“Tch- you know she said she would be arriving later.” Naruto had been excited to see Hinata. However, one of the daimyo’s servants had stopped at Naruto and Shikamaru’s room informing them that Hinata had sent a message letting them know that her own dress hadn’t arrived and that she would be a few minutes later than the boys.

That was an hour ago and Hinata still hadn’t shown up. Naruto was itching to go and find her, worried something had happened. Though also just wanting an excuse to escape from the boredom that was the party. However, before he got the chance the Daimyo entered the grand room from a balcony up above.

“Thank you all for gathering tonight to celebrate the end of the war and the prosperity we shall gain from it!" The daimyo smiled down at the cheering crowd, puffing his chest out like he was the reason such prosperity would come about. Still, Naruto was smart enough to keep from rolling his eyes. clapping in approval of the words.

"So tonight I ask that everyone enjoy the entertainment and food. Let the dancing begin!" It was like the Daimyo had opened the flood gates suddenly it seemed that every woman in the room had turned their attention onto Naruto. Many already trying to form a line to get to him.

S-Shikamaru I can’t dance with all of these girls, that's impossible!”

“Naruto you’ll be fine, you’ve worked hard.” A different softer voice spoke out, causing Naruto to jump. Spinning around wildly, he spotted Hinata who had quietly taken her place beside Shikamaru.

“Hinata -chan!”

“I apologize for being late, it took longer than anticipated to get ready.” an embarrassed blush adorned her face as she bowed towards her two friends for her tardiness. Shikamaru waved it off while Naruto looked appalled.

“Don’t apologize Hinata! It’s not your fault the daimyo is using us for advertisement!” It was true, these outfits were a blatant excuse to get the textiles out into the public eye, and what better way to show off your country's goods than to have them paraded around on the most popular attraction. Though as Naruto eyed Hinata’s dress he couldn’t help the irritating though that the Daimyo had requested this specific dress on Hinata for a more lewd reason. Though the dress was far from indecent, the low scooping back and the form-fitted top were far more revealing than anything Naruto had ever seen on his friend.

Old daimyo is just another perv. he thought darkly but he still couldn’t help the thought that she looked really pretty. Naruto was just about to tell her this when a woman stepped forward grabbing Naruto’s arm tightly.

“Naruto-senpai please dance with me!” the young girl Naruto realized was one of the shinobi who had met their squad at the gates of the capital.

“I-”

“Just get on with it. The sooner you do it, the sooner we can leave.” Shikamaru whispered as he shoved Naruto towards the dance floor. Naruto stumbled but caught himself. He turned his head back planning to give Shikamaru a dirty look but stopped when he saw Hinata. Though she was still smiling there was a sad look in her eyes. Belatedly Naruto realized he probably should have asked Hinata for the first dance. After all, she had helped him so much. As he was dragged to the dance floor and could feel his dance partner feeling up his muscles, he couldn’t help but wish it was Hinata in his arms instead.

It had been a few hours and Naruto felt like his feet were going to fall off. He had lost track of how many partners he’d had. It was all the same. Every monotonous move yet it seemed his partners couldn’t get enough, some even fighting for more dances.

Naruto sighed as he spun his latest partner away, waiting for a new one to take her place. Straining his neck he caught sight of Shikamaru’s hair. Since the dancing had begun he’d tried to catch a glimpse of that beacon of spiky hair around the perimeters of the ballroom. It worked every so often but he was disappointed in not spotting long deep blue hair.

He had prayed at some point that Hinata might cut in. Hoping for a reprieve from all these women who only seemed to care that they were seen on his arm. It would have been nice to dance with a friend, someone he could actually talk to. yet it never happened. Still, he needed a break. Stepping back away before the next girl could come up he gave an apologetic grin scratching the back of his head as he did so.

“I’m sorry, but I just spotted someone I need to talk to, please excuse me.”

The girl pouted murmuring that she'd only gotten to dance with Naruto three times but Naruto had already turned away making his way towards his friend.

“Are you ready to call it a night yet?” the Nara asked from his slumped position in his chair. He had acquired the table an hour ago and had been napping ever since. Naruto nodded slumping into a chair of his own. Wincing as his feet screamed in protest over the night's abuse. Though he’d done exceptionally well he had no doubt abused his poor feet. For all the teaching and practice Hinata had gone through with him he still ended up tripping a time or two. though the biggest abuse was in the form of some of his dance partners accidentally stepping on them in their heeled dress shoes. Yes, Naruto was ready to call it a night if it meant soaking his poor feet.

“Then go grab Hinata-chan so we can get out of here,” Shikamaru said stretching out as he did so.

“Where is she?” Naruto asked turning once more to catch a peek of her.

“No surprise you haven’t seen her, all the women clustered around you while all the men have been circling her. She’s in the middle of that crowd over there.” Shikamaru pointed to the other side of the room where it seemed an equally large crowd had gathered. And true to his words right there in the middle was Hinata, dancing with some man.

“Why didn’t you help Hinata-chan?!” Naruto accused glaring at the man already settling in for a nap again.

“It’s too troublesome to get involved, besides unlike you she’s actually enjoying it.” Naruto was surprised by these words. Standing up he ignored the pain he felt as he looked closer at the scene.

Sure enough, Hinata looked like she was having the time of her life, her eyes were half-closed and there was a healthy blush adorning her cheeks though not from embarrassment but from all of the activity. Her hair had come loose at some point in the evening and it followed behind her in a mesmerizing dance of its own. Naruto could only watch in awe as Hinata was swept around the floor matching her partner step by step. It had looked as though the two had been dancing together all of their lives. Like they had been born to be each other’s partner.

“They're a handsome couple.” an older woman spoke near him, nodding her head toward the couple. her friend agreed, speaking up herself.

“That is the Hyuga heiress from the leaf village, Lord Souta would do well to ask for her match.”

Naruto frowned at the two women gossiping. Match? Why would Hinata fight that guy, he’s obviously not shinobi.

Idiot Kurama murmured but Naruto ignored it. Choosing instead to make his way through the crowd to get to Hinata. As he came to the center of the growing circle he watched as the dance came to a close. Lord Souta or whoever it was had just dipped Hinata low. All around him, people gasped in delight at the display but Naruto could only frown. This didn’t look like anything Hinata had taught him. This was obviously a different dance, one that only someone with more skill could do. As if to give the crown one final trick Souta spun Hinata, having her twirl out away from him as far as their joined hands would allow. Hinata was so close to Naruto he suddenly had an urge to take her and run. However, he was frozen in place, Hinata was breathtaking. There was no other way to describe it, Naruto couldn’t think of a time where she looked so relaxed and happy.

Something about that hurt Naruto deeply but he couldn’t understand why. He was happy that Hinata was enjoying herself and was feeling comfortable enough to show him and everyone around them her passion. But still, something bothered Naruto. He watched as the final notes to the song ended, Lord Souta pulled Hinata back toward him as if there was a magnetic force pulling the two back together. Hinata spun effortlessly back into the man’s chest clutching his shirt as she was breathing heavily.

The audience cheered.

Naruto couldn’t help his eyes narrowing at the man’s hands, who had clasped them against the small of Hinata’s back. Bunching the fabric together. Naruto was about to tell him off when Hinata finally seemed to realize their audience. To everyone’s surprise, her blush grew as she went to step back. Souta released her just enough to let her have some breathing room.

“Thank you for the dance, Lady Hinata. It was a pleasure.”

“T-thank you, I enjoyed it very much.”

“We must dance again soon.” Lord Souta smiled gently as he bowed towards the woman, taking her hand before she could walk away and kissing it. Hinata, Naruto was shocked to see didn’t faint, or freak out over this instead she gave the man a dazzling smile before nodding her head.

“I would like that very much Lord Souta, thank you.” Both dancers ignored the gossiping whispers as they moved back away from each other. Before any other guy could ask Hinata to dance Naruto snaked through the rest of the crowd. Grabbing her hand pulling her with him gently.

“N-Naruto- kun?!” Hinata felt surprised at seeing the blonde. She had been trying to spot him all night but was unable to, due to the masses that surrounded him. Naruto just smiled down at her, his grin stretched across his face.

“Hinata-chan it’s getting late and Shikamaru is ready to go to bed. I’m sorry I had to interrupt you but-”

“No, it’s fine Naruto-kun. I was getting tired myself and we are leaving early in the morning to head out to the next village.”

“Still, I hate to make you leave. You looked great out there Hinata-chan! I had no idea you liked to dance so much-ttebayo!”

Hinata felt like she was in heaven, Naruto was actually complimenting her. Still, Hinata tried to calm herself down.

“Thank you Naruto-kun. I had to learn many dances as a daughter of the head of the Hyuga clan. It's believed that dancing helps to create relationships and bonds with others all around the world. Like tonight with Lord Souta, he has many trade deals with the Hyuga.”

“Oh, so you are friends with that guy?”

“Well, we’ve met before. However, tonight was the first time we were able to speak freely amongst ourselves. He was able to talk to me about a special rare herb he has been cultivating in his gardens. I offered to make some special salves using those herbs with the promise that we could keep bundles of the herbs ourselves.”

“Wow, you were able to make trade negotiation while dancing, that's impressive Hinata-chan.”

“W-well that happened during our first couple of waltzes together. The last dance though was to a song from his country and so we couldn’t really speak. The dance is so fast-paced.”

Naruto faltered in his steps for a millisecond before continuing. By now they were close to the table to grab Shikamaru.

“Haha, I thought that dance looked a little more complicated than what you taught me,” Naruto said with a forced laugh. Hinata stifled a yawn as they woke Shikamaru up once more, humming in agreement to Naruto.

“Yes, it’s a bit more advanced, I don’t often get a chance to practice it.”

Later, long after they had left the party, and walked Hinata back up to her room. Naruto laid awake thinking about the events of the evening and everything Hinata had mentioned. He tossed and turned, kicking the blankets off of him as he stared up at the ceiling. Something was still bothering him. Something that he couldn’t figure out. It was only after the image of Lord Souta’s hands clutching around Hinata's waist jarred him out of a fitful sleep did Naruto realize what the problem was.

It wasn't the fact that he didn't like the guy.

It wasn't the fact that he wasn't as skilled a dancer as the guy.

It wasn't even the fact that Hinata repeatedly danced with the guy.

It was the fact that Naruto wanted to be the only guy that Hinata danced with.

#naruto uzumaki #naruhina fic #hinata hyuga #hinata hyuga fic #naruto fanfiction #naruhina #naruto x hinata

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hyphypmic · 3 years ago

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HypMic: Pickup Lines

Anon asked: I dunno if you done this but can you do all the boys x female reader doing pick up lines at them and their reactions? ☺☺

Sure! II’ll make this cute uwu

—

ICHIRO

Smiles and then puts a hand on your head

Are you [insert anime character here]? Because you [insert something super sappy.]

SABURO

He’s the type to blush then scamper away

After that he passes you a note with a lil math equation to solve and at the end you get an “II love you.”

JIRO

He’d go the Ichiro route except he’d be more disaster

“I’ll never be Naruto. Why you ask? Because I’ll never use harem no jitsu when I have the sexiest woman alive!”

Its cringe but its cute and you love it.

SAMATOKI

You….. dummy.

Then he’d blush and then pass you a cigarette.

“If you were a cigarette, then I’d smoke you everyday, baby.”

It comes out not as smooth as he likes but it works.

JYUTO

Kisses you on the cheek or on the lips

Then he squeezes your ass or smtg and whispers something *quite* dirty

Along the lines of “You’re so cute when you do that, bet you’ll look even cuter if…”

RIOU

His response would be to immediately bring you to the campsite and bring you food

Because while he is a rapper and has a way with words, he’d rather cook you a meal (that is made of *normal* ingredients) that reminds him of you.

RAMUDA

He fires off 6 off the bat and even brings out his mic to say it to the world

You said it once now he won’t stop coming up with at least 2 new ones everyday and honestly you love it.

DICE

He’d blush then say thank you.

Then he’d give you one of his lucky poker chips (or one he stole and never redeemed) and just kisses you in response

GENTARO

Makes a haiku on the spot or an even wittier pickup line

Much like Ramuda he won’t let it drop and he never fails to amaze you with how eloquent he is with them.

JAKURAI

He thoughtfully thinks of one and it comes out super sweet and both of you say thank you to each other.

You’re both quite mature so you just have a good laugh and cuddle trying to think of pickup lines.

DOPPO

He blushes then says sorry he can’t think of one that would be able to encompass your incredibleness

First he doesn’t get its a pickup line so he says sorry then you walk him through it and then he smiles and blushes and then tries to make one on his own

It takes a while, maybe even a couple of days and when he says it to you he says sorry right away but you love it and kiss him after

HIIFUMI

He fires back one immediately because you know, he is experienced

He also is so comfortable with you he can even come up with silly ones for you since you are the special exemption in his fear of women.

KUKO

He’d snort and laugh and then say you’re cute.

Though he’d be more smiley because you were quite adorable when you said that.

HITOYA

He’s a lawyer, he has his way with words and he does make a law themed one back at you

And the both of you end up trying to outdo each other for pickup lines but Hitoya wins and he just kisses you and he said he would love to hear more from you.

JYUSHI

No idea what to do so he just sings his response back while he is blushing.

Its a song he’s working on and he says sorry immediately after because he didn’t really know how to respond to that.

SASARA

He makes a funny one after and even builds on your pickup line to even say a sweeter one back to you while patting your head.

he never fails to make you laugh so he makes sure each one he says is sweet but silly at the same time

REI

He doesn’t know what to say so he rubs the back of his neck and says thank you. He uses an old pickup line in response to that since he’s a lot better at convincing people than making people blush in a cute way.

ROSHO

Turns red immediately and then tries to think of one

Then he remembers one that his students told him and its pretty funny so both of you get a good laugh out of it <3

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llsilvertail · 1 year ago

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Okay. I have Thoughts about this. (see end for TLDR)

Disclaimers: this will involve me giving early Kishimoto's character writing all the grace I can reasonably give and looking at what could've been, bc he writes women terribly and it makes me so sad.

So. Misogyny isn't "a woman likes traditionally woman things", it's "a woman has to like traditionally woman things". That's where the difference between Sakura and Hinata comes in.

They both come from very different places and end up in very different places...until all of that is undone (for one of them particularly) because of shitty, misogynistic, writing decisions.

Sakura grew up with civilian parents and (it seems like) this meant she had a lot of expectations about what it means to be a girl placed upon her1: be sweet, don't express yourself, get yourself a boyfriend, be perfect, etc. For example, this meant she was, at first, more worried about how she was perceived by Sasuke rather than trying to be a good ninja and would keep fighting her ex-best friend over him rather than pay attention in class.

Hinata, on the other hand, is the heir to a large, well-established, ninja clan and (textually for once) this meant the expectations placed on her were very different from those on Sakura: be powerful, don't make mistakes, get to the top of your class, be perfect, etc. I don't remember if this actually happened, but I think a character explicitly stated something like 'it would've been better if Hinata was born second because her younger sister was much stronger than her', but I'm not quite sure.

However, both of them chafed at these expectations in their own ways. I'm inclined to say Hinata pushed back harder and sooner than Sakura did2, but that's mostly irrelevant to this beyond establishing that they both grew and matured in different ways so they could settle more into what they actually wanted to do.

Sakura got stronger. She learned that Sasuke wasn't the be all end all of who she was3. She started trusting herself and repaired her relationship with her ex-best friend (and I ship it honestly). Hinata, too, got stronger, but she also learned to express herself. She started to put her foot down and, even though she knew herself all along, she started actually doing what she wanted to do.

Sakura didn't know she wanted to be a ninja at first but, when she actually got a true taste of it, she loved it4. She actively worked on becoming better5 and became a powerful ninja in her own right. But Hinata had never wanted to be a ninja in the first place and she'd always known that. She only did it because she was forced to and, even while she was still active-duty, she much preferred to step back from the front lines.

Now. That was all context and an analysis I didn't know I wanted to do of how Sakura and Hinata are juxtaposed on each other, but oh well. Too late to turn back now.

So, I don't remember exactly how Naruto ends6, but Sakura's characterization gets absolutely destroyed. It had been made clear that she had grown up and moved on from her crush on Sasuke. She had grown incredibly powerful in her own right. She was capable and confident...and then she marries Sasuke, pines after him while he's off gallivanting who knows where, and becomes a stay at home mom. It fucking sucks.

To be clear, the issue isn't what she does. Hinata does similar things, but, because it had been established through her characterization that this was something she would want to do, it makes sense.

With Sakura, however, it doesn't make sense for all the reasons stated above. I've seen the argument that "oh she changed during the time jump and now she's happy doing this", but that would just mean that the author made a bad writing decision because everything so far points to that being something forced upon Sakura that she grew out of and learned from.

TLDR: Both of them were done dirty but my girl Sakura was done dirtier. There were so many times she was so close to being a genuinely good character, and it easily could've been course corrected, but she missed the mark too many times and landed somewhere so unexpected it just makes it suck all the more cuz you can see what could've been.

(idk if I should @ you or not @canonmisogynyvictimstournament, so I'll do it anyway)

(I can't actually do superscripts here and I want to murder someone)

1 While extra-textually it's cuz Kishimoto sucks ass, there isn't a firm reason in-text so let's just go with it being cuz she grew up a civilian.

2 I'll be honest, that probably comes down to misogyny too, tho it's less how a character was treated rather than misogyny permeating the text itself. But that's a whole essay of its own lmao.

3 Yes ik she actually doesn't, but see the disclaimers.

4 The less we talk about her being a medical-nin the better, cuz that's also a whole essay of its own. More misogyny points!!

5 Yes, in text it isn't for herself, but that would work equally well, if not better. Hell. All it really needs to change to is "her "I want to keep up with them" rather than "I want them to pay attention to me". It doesn't even change much!! :((((. Even more misogyny points!!!

6 As in if this happened at the end of Naruto or if it was only official at the beginning of Boruto.

PROPAGANDA

SAKURA HARUNO (NARUTO)

1.) 1.) It is repeatedly stated throughout the series the areas in which she excels. We are told over and over again that she is gifted (early on in the series) or tremendously strong (end of the series) and yet with the exception of of the Sasori fight, there seems to be a staunch refusal to actually SHOW her being competent in a fight. 2.) her backstory ties into nothing plotwise as far as the overarching world and history of the village and its families. The three other leads (Sasuke Naruo, Kakashi) all get their own relevant backstory that gets delved into. But Sakura? Neither has one nor goes off and embroils herself personally into one of these overarching plot points. She is constantly forced to just be a companion/side character to the stories of her male counterparts. 3.) She’s given so much potential for a great powersuite and those all either go unrealized or she gets shown up by other characters. idk if this is what was meant by propaganda but its what i got

2.) Despite becoming the world’s best surgeon and doctor at age 17 (including doing open heart surgery in the middle of an active battlefield), her achievements are routinely undercut and underplayed by the canon.

It’s all the more disappointing because in some ways, she’s a very realistic and humanistic depiction of a teenage girl. Unlike her teammates, she grew up in what we would consider a pretty average family situation (two living parents who love her, even if they don’t understand her choices), and has relatively average goals at the beginning. Compared to her teammates who are orphans from dynastic ninja clans, who were basically born to a lineage of massive amounts of powerful ninja magic; Sakura’s civilian family has given her no genetic predisposition to being powerful. Despite this, she’s shown to be highly intelligent, achieving top scores on exams and having a deep knowledge for theory and concepts.

She begins the story having a crush on Sasuke Uchiha, a boy who has no interest in her, and hating Naruto, their village’s Omelas Child. However, as she works with her team, she bonds with them on a deeper level, and works very hard to meet their natural level of skill and not be deadweight on their team.

However, despite the fact that trios are treated with deep cultural and narrative significance throughout Naruto, the narrative quickly abandons the “Team 7 Trio” framing in all the ways that matter, becoming the Naruto-and-Sasuke show in all ways that matter. When Sakura gets her time to shine, she’s always undercut. Her massive physical strength and strong sense of self in Shippuden are never treated with the same reverence as her teammates’. Despite the fact that she can easily shatter rock and manipulate the ground with her sheer physical power, and that she was originally presented as good at genjutsu (illusion magic); she becomes a field medic/doctor – a carer/support role, rather than a DPS. Her decisions to advocate for herself and the people she cares about (such as trying to kill Sasuke) are treated as foolish and naive, not a heroic choice to try and help her friends at a large personal cost.

She also basically never gets to fight a man, except for one important case: Sasori. This is important, because the female characters in Naruto are routinely presented as less powerful and less of a threat than male characters. While her fight with Sasori is a fantastic arc, it ends with Sasori undercutting her victory by being like “well actually I wanted to die”, implying that he’d chosen to let her win, not that her win is well deserved. This is at the start of Shippuden, she doesn’t get a solo fight arc after that.

Of course, the most egregious thing done to Sakura is that she’s married off to Sasuke. Despite the fact that Sasuke is never once shown to give a shit about her, and the fact that her character development in a large part was about her giving up the childish and misogynistic desire to be a wife to the cute guy in her class, suddenly they’re together. Sasuke is a deadbeat husband, however, and immediately fucks off, to the point where he doesn’t recognise their child when he meets her, and tries to kill her. Sakura-the-housewife-waiting-at-the-window-for-her-husband’s-return is again now deeply in love with a man who doesn’t give a shit about her. The only photo she has of them together is shown to be a cutout of another photo of Sasuke stuck on a photo of her. She’s again trapped in a housewife box, her achievements and skill sideline to her ability to rear a child for the male lead. And worse, despite the fact she’s a very confident person who otherwise has no issue advocating for herself, she doesn’t really seem to fight back against this awful status quo in her relationship, grateful for the scraps of affection Sasuke delivers to her once a decade.

3.) Despite being on a team of three, she’s always side lined for the other two. Her whole thing is healing, then in a major arc at the end of the main series a character gets hurt and when she goes to attempt to heal them, she is pushed aside so Naruto can do his amazing magic healing that he just learned and is already better at it than her.

HINATA HYUUGA (NARUTO)

1.) When Hinata was introduced she goals, weaknesses, interesting interactions and relationships with characters other than naruto and a personality of her own. Post timeskip in shippuden, however, she was reduced down to simply ‘naruto’s future love interest�� and little else. The entire Hyuuga plotline was dropped and she no longer had any relevance or personality outside of naruto. Part 1 hinata was shy and insecure on the surface but underneath that she was determined & hardworking, even to her own detriment. Her struggles were compelling. Her interactions with neji and her family are something you look forward to seeing more of. In shippuden she’s like a flat carboard cutout of hinata. Her shyness exaggerated, her relationship with her family suddenly perfectly fine and boring. In part 1 naruto inspires her to keep trying but he isn’t the reason she’s working so hard, in shippuden he’s pretty much all she thinks about. Her change in character design really highlights these changes - the perfect little wife for cishet men to fantasise about.

2.) Her entire personality and arc is boiled down to “shy uwu waifu in love with Naruto” and basically any development she gets, which is barely at all because Kishimoto hates women, is as attributed to NARUTO and Naruto only. Even her reaction to her beloved COUSIN’S DEATH makes her be like “omg I love Naruto” and serves to further NaruHina, which is absolutely insane she would Not react like that. Naruto only starts being romantically interested in her at the beginning of like, The Last movie, which is after 500ish episodes of her being treated as the sidelined love interest who is devoted to a guy who only cares about her when she’s a damsel in distress on a fight.

There are so many parts of her character that are/could be interesting, like her part in the Hyuga Clan due to being born as a superior and her dynamic with her cousin Neji as a result, (which could have had SO many great moments of reconciliation and standing up for each other grrr grrr) an exploration of the impact of her bullying & being looked down upon (even when she’s supposed to be a superior member, which adds to the shame) LIKE MANY OF THE CAST, seriously the people Naruto trauma dumps to are mostly consisted of people unfairly treated like that and it could have been used to further NaruHina WHILE showing her struggles

She is an incredibly capable fighter but the moment Naruto is there, she instantly becomes defenseless and needs to be saved by her crush, mostly as a “wow look at him isn’t he so brave and kind to do this for her?!”

There’s an episode where she is literally used as a defenseless punching bag for Pein by trying to sacrifice herself for Naruto and telling him she loves him, JUST so he can be more angry and have more motivation to beat Pein’s ass (aside of the yknow. Killing his loved ones thing) AND her confession is ignored by Naruto for the rest of the series. Just like any moment she shows her crush for him is met with obliviousness, which would be fine if they weren’t the main couple and didn’t go on for THE ENTIRE SERIES!!!!

In Boruto, the shitty sequel, Naruto is basically her deadbeat husband in her bland lavander marriage and Boruto is rightfully mad about Naruto’s distance from the family and even says he left her basically a single mom and barely pays time to the family, and Hinata’s role in the show as the housewife is being like “no you see Boruto you have to understand your father’s pov as the Hokage” and the narrative treats NaruHina’s marriage as a Good, Healthy Thing as if the characters are not miserable in this marriage.

3.) Man I don’t even like her that much but she deserved SO much better. She was introduced as the heiress of a really powerful and renowed clan with complex dynamics, yet the author somehow decided to do almost NOTHING with the potential she had, and gave her very little personality besides being shy and fawning over the protagonist. She gets slightly more active in Shippuden (part 2), but her character still pretty much revolves around her love for Naruto, which sucks because again, she has so much potential. It’s no secret that women in Naruto are badly written, and Hinata certainly is no exception. The male characters get dozens of episodes/chapters about their motivations, their backstories, what pushes them to keep going, and Hinata gets almost nothing besides her lifelong crush on Naruto that we are reminded of literally every time she’s on screen.

#propaganda ig??#goddamn it's almost 1k words #my thoughts #queued

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pfreadsandwrites · 4 years ago

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Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED

Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.

No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!

Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)

Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.

If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.

When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.

Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.

plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?

Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?

Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)

Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.

But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?

But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.

Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.

The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.

Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.

Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.

Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.

So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).

To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.

When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.

But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)

Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.

But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush.. LMAO there’s a thought)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.

That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.

He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.

He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.

Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:

Spanking ;)

Teasing

Face-fucking

Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)

clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)

semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),

body worship (is that a kink)

LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me

he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.

But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.

WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.

I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.

He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.

I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.

He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.

Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be

Long version (I’m sorry guys):

By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.

He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.

But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.

…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.

With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want.

He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.

So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8

Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.

But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.

I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.

The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too

If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.

He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.

He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.

So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you. But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.

Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.

Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less. But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.

As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.

#kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi headcanons #kakashi smut #naruto #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #kakashi hatake #kakashi imagines #pfthinks #pfsins

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misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Nara Shikamaru/Temari Characters: Nara Shikamaru, Temari (Naruto) Additional Tags: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Light Bondage, Sex, Some Plot Series: Part 8 of Lemonade Summary:

Shikamaru and Temari are paired up on an intel-gathering mission together. This particular one causes certain feelings to rise in Shikamaru. Temari is happy to help him release those emotions.

Hello my deers! I’ve missed you. I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this but it’s ShikaTema Day (4/10) so I got inspired to finish it. Click on the link above for the full version. It’s dirty, at times sweet and smutty as hell. I hope that you enjoy it!

Shikamaru gritted his teeth as he tried not to shatter the glass in his hand.

He had to wonder at the thinking Kakashi and Gaara had at sending him on this mission. At first, he was excited to be paired up with Temari. Instead, it had turned into a scene from his worst nightmare. They must have assumed he had an otherworldly level of control. They were dead wrong. Of course, they didn’t have to worry about Temari. She was more than capable of handling herself. They’d failed to consider his abilities. Although if she had to be there and in this position there was no one else he’d allow to be partnered up with her.

Temari was a vision in a skin-tight red dress with a high slit along her thigh and a deep V that put her cleavage on display. Her hair had been straightened to flow down her back and her face was painted with bright colors and fine lines. There were many things that he hated about this mission but more than anything it was the contacts that she wore that muted her normally vibrant teal eyes. He knew it was necessary. He was dressed in unusual formal clothes, glasses with his hair down and pulled back. Being unrecognizable was paramount but he could never miss her in a room.

It was a simple enough mission. Gathering intelligence by means of an illegal gambling event for a group of high rollers. They’d bought his entry and Temari was posing as a waitress. There to provide drinks and “entertainment” to those in attendance.

Men became sloppy and loose-lipped when drinking and around a beautiful girl. It was just what they wanted.

Temari executed her role well. Eyes drawn to her all night as she moved through the room. Every male in the room frantic for her attention. Hoping for a glance.

Even as he played his cards he kept a close watch on her. They’d worked out several signals before coming. And he was just waiting for the hand sign that would mean this nightmare was over and they’d gotten the information needed. But her safety was most important.

Being captivated by her all night meant that he had to watch as she flirted, laughed, and smiled at all these slime balls. They’d pulled her onto their laps, hands moving along her legs. Openly ogling her while they made a number of sickening comments. One, in particular, was asking for it. Once this whole mission was done he’d have to pay him a special visit. Shikamaru wanted to get up each time and give up the mission all together but each time she sent him a sign that she was fine. He wasn’t.

Shikamaru had always known how attractive Temari was. Eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to her no matter what room she walked in. At least if he was in those rooms he could send dirty looks or use shadow restraints. Having to just watch all this unfold in front of him was frustrating.

Shikamaru tossed his cards down and collected his winnings. It moved him to the table with the big fishes. Until he got the sign that their mission was complete he needed to keep winning to buy more time.

He felt his mouth split into a grin seeing Temari come towards him. Despite looking a little different than how he usually saw her she was still so beautiful. It was the first time that they’d directly interacted with one another. Other women had tried to flirt with him but he waved off each one annoyed.

“May I get you another one sir.”

“Please.”

His attention was between the table and watching her move to the bar to get his drink. He watched carefully as she seemed to slip something under her dress.

“She’s a cute one huh?” His eyes lifted to the man that made the comment. He had half a mind to smash his obnoxious grin into the card table.

“Definitely.” He hid his frown behind his cards.

“The girls here are quick to fuck. Just toss a few bucks and they keep their mouths shut and legs open. When you’re done with her, send her my way.”

Shikamaru clutched the edge of the table seconds away from flipping it onto his side and on top of that man. Fuck him. Fuck the mission.

Temari’s soft hand against his shoulder as she placed his drink on the table stopped him. He took in a deep breath.

“Stay awhile. I could use a good luck charm.”

“Sure, if you make it worth my time.” She winked with a grin. He handed her a stack of bills that she gladly tucked into her dress before slipping onto his lap. He finally felt like he could relax. Her hand rested against his heart knowing that the small gesture would be effective in calming him down.

The cards were dealt back and forth and while he could have won most of the hands he needed not to draw too much attention to himself. Still, he was collecting quite a nice pile.

Shikamaru rested back into his chair while the cards were shuffled. His hand went to gently cup Temari's cheek before he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. They were in the same room all night but he still missed her.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing working at a place like this? “

A soft grin crossed her lips. Temari leaned into his chest before tucking her face against his neck.

“A girls gotta eat.”

continued here

#shikatema #shikatem #shikamaru x temari #shikamaru nara #temari #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #fanfic #s m u t #i need to write a sweet flutty story #the smut is so fun though #im glad that i finally managed to finish another story #it's been a while #thanks if you've stuck with me #sangriaslips #sunflowerstalks

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vasoula · 4 years ago

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The Peepshow

Summary: Two months after his redemption journey, Sasuke is back to Konoha and Sakura couldn’t be more happy about them spending a lot of time together. However, things take a hard turn when Sakura is assigned a special mission and she has to hide it from the rest of Team 7. Everything comes spiraling down when Sasuke finds out exactly what she has to do.

Tags: hard rated m, blank period, kinda AU-ish

Author’s notes: Please read, thank you!

Hello sasusaku fandom, it’s me ya girl, back after so many years to join the fandom once more. I have been missing this couple dearly and after going through a lot of fanarts, I stumbled upon my favorite girl and biggest inspiration strawberrycreampiefluff. She had made a mini doujinshi years ago, and I wanted to create a story about it so badly. So, I contracted her, got her blessings and created this mini monster fic you will read below (which she will hopefully recreate into a full fanart comic when she finds time - love you girl! - please support my friend’s art, it’s amazing!). This is a collab between us sort of. The first chapter is like a prologue - introduction to get the gist of things. This takes place after the last, but before sasusaku travels, kind of an alternate way of how sasusaku got together. I tried to keep the characters as close to canon as possible and this my first official full chaptered fic, so please be kind and leave comments and likes to show your opinion and support.

You can also read it on fanfiction and Ao3.

Next chapter

“Act one: Different mission objectives”

Haruno Sakura walks briskly towards the Hokage tower, her high-heeled shinobi sandals clanking against the pavement as she makes her presence known to the people who pass by. A few heads turn around, mostly males, to stare at her. She is known as one of the most beautiful women – if not the most – in Konoha. As the Fifth’s apprentice, she is working at the hospital as the top chief and she is well respected by shinobi villages all around the world for her talent in medical jutsu.

Sakura is currently dressed her hospital clothes, because her shift at the hospital just ended. She is wearing a button up white shirt that’s left slightly unbuttoned when it reaches her chest, a short black skirt and her white medical robe on top. She is heading to meet Tsunade who just asked for her to be present at her office immediately. The pink haired girl already knows what that means and what it entails.

It is a new mission.

That has to be it. It has been months since the last one, and her working hard as a medical ninja limited her chances of being sent into one. She is more than ready for it. However, she has a feeling this is only the start of bad news. Knowing her teacher, it has to be a special kind of mission. Being called so suddenly like that also gives her the heads up to guess the genre of it.

It must be a flower mission.

Yes, flower, Sakura thinks and nods to herself after waving at some people who greet her.

Flower mission is a term for female ninjas only. It is a code for a seduction mission.

Going and especially accepting a seduction mission is a big step for shinobi women. It is a very sensitive topic and it needs to be handled delicately and in secrecy. It is a powerful weapon which when used correctly, the mission will be done easily or quickly depending on the execution.

The three-man team pattern has most young girls create bonds or worse falling in love and it makes them attached in one way or another to their male teammates. That is why most ninja women have a difficulty seducing another man. The life of a ninja is usually short; you never know what could happen and the kunoichis value the idea of love. Still though, a woman’s power is strong and every kunoichi succeeds efficiently in their own little style.

The moment Sakura comes into the office, Tsunade’s head snaps up. The two women hold eye-contact for a few seconds before the younger medic closes the door behind her with a soft thud.

No one else is in the room, so Sakura guesses that whatever the fifth Hokage is about to tell her must be something of importance. She makes her way into the room and with elegant movements sits down on the chair that is positioned right in front of the desk. There are no formalities between apprentice and teacher when no one is around to watch, and since Tsunade made no sign to stop her, she also speaks first.

“Tsunade-sama, you called me.” It is not a question, but it is not a mere observation either.

The older woman sighs and puts her folded hands beneath her chin. Her eyes close for a moment and then she lifts her head upwards, giving Sakura a fond and soft look like a proud mother would give to her grown up child. A blonde strand escapes from her well-made and low ponytail and her red manicured fingers come forth to tag it back to place. An elegant move, and there is no wonder where Sakura took her beautiful ways from.

“Yes, I did,” Tsunade pauses for a second and then hastily continues, going straight to the point. There is no time for pleasantries. “I have a new mission for you.”

There is no surprise on Sakura’s face and Tsunade cannot tell if she already knew what her intentions are or she has simply masked her face with a facade of indifference. A true kunoichi right there, but then again…it could be the influence of a certain brooding male.

Before Sakura could ask more, Tsunade beat her into it and answers to her unspoken question. “It is a seduction mission.”

This time the girl reacts instantly and she blinks profusely, pink eyelashes fanning rosy cheeks repeatedly. “A-ah,” Sakura lets out a squeaky response, knowing the consequences of such mission.

So I was right! It is a flower mission, she thinks and curses mentally. Here come the arising problems and she has not even started yet.

“I know, but believe me, I have no choice,” Tsunade put her palms atop of the desk and she pushes her chair back slightly, “This mission is specifically made for you.”

The woman knows what she is doing to her student right now, but seriously the girl is one of the best out there. Her exotic looks and endless beauty draws men like magnets to her. Besides, with her alluring ways and witty personality, she can bend even iron willed males, for example, Sasuke Uchiha.

Sakura has already made a list of problems at the back of her mind and her inner self screams in horror.

This is her first official seduction mission. How the hell is she supposed to break the news to rest of Team 7? She cannot straight go up to them and tell them. Naruto will surely react instantly and whine about it until the next decade. She has a feeling Kakashi, being trained under Tsunade, might already know something about this mission and that leaves her with one last important person to tell.

The man her heart yearns for.

After coming back from his redemption journey, Sasuke was a changed man. He was everything she had hoped for. Some parts of his character still remained the same that go back to his genin days, but she saw a new side of him that has been hidden for years, buried deep within all the hatred he harbored for most of his life. The last Uchiha has always been a cool character with a calculating thought process. The difference now was that he was free from the hatred and sins that plagued most of his life.

That is where the healing took place – right at this heart.

While he was away he helped many people during his journey across all the lands. That in return helped him find himself. He learned to love himself again and he stopped being angry at the world. He saw life from a different perspective and by the time he returned the storm inside his mind was calm once more.

Sakura’s heart flourished when he came back two months ago.

The two have been spending time together more than ever. They hang out after Sakura’s shifts at the hospital during the day either alone or with the rest of Team 7, sometimes including Sai. Other days, when their schedules are not so busy, Naruto comes and collects each one of them so they can have dinner at Ichiraku just the three of them. On special occasions, when the Hokage in training feels extra giddy, he will bring Hinata along and they will have something akin to double dates as he likes to call them.

It is an unspoken secret that the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura is a complicated one. They are at the stage where sometimes they act like they are together or other times they are on the verge of being in a relationship. Sakura knows what she is feeling that is for sure. The pure, unwavering love she feels for him is rooted deep within her and grows everyday as she watches him be happier and calmer before her eyes. They have had their moments of intimacy together before. Instances where they became close - she remembers those intense feelings they shared through eye contact and hushed whispers when they were left alone.

The first one was after the war when Sasuke was in prison. The first time he expressed his feelings towards what had happened between them all those years. All the wrong and the ugly parts of himself he wanted to distinguish himself from.

In those quiet moments in the dark where he could not see, his eyes sealed like the criminal he was, he told her the truth. He trusted her now to reveal the ugly truth of Konoha and its elders. He divulged all the hardships his brother, Itachi Uchiha, had to endure to bring peace to the world. In a whisper, he confessed all about his clan like a dirty secret -like he was the sinner and she was the priest. And like the true healer she was, Sakura helped him see the good in him that she knew was still there and gave him disclosure. He accepted her kind words once more with a simple nod and a quiet thank you. But for Sakura, at the current time, it was more than enough. She saw the change in him. It was a small start but she would accept it. The young woman had endured harder things in the past after all.

Later that night, when she cried angry tears at the unfairness of the world, because now she knew finally about the Uchiha massacre, she knew all of them had to endure something hard in their lives and learn to live with it. But god if it did not hurt her that he was the one left suffering the most. And she just wished, she hoped, her love was enough to heal that part of himself that was trying to recover.

The second one was when he left for his redemption journey. While they had spend a few moments together before he left, nothing compares to that single experience. She knew she had to wait for him again, but this time it was not a tear jerking moment with her heart lurching in her throat. No, this time, it was her mind buzzing with all the implications his fingers left on her forehead and the fond look he was giving her.

The third one was when the Konoha 12 had their first night all together again. Of course Naruto had a hand in organizing once again. That little rascal, Sakura had thought then fondly. This guy was always trying his best to bring people together and he was doing a damn good job at it. The fact that he was able to persuade Sasuke into an outing like that was a feat itself.

Everything was going smoothly until the drinks started pouring in. Shots after shots of sake had Sakura feeling pleasantly tipsy that night, but she was not the only with that effect of alcohol on her. Somehow everyone had more than a little in their system and that did not exclude the moody male of Team 7. He was acting normal alright, Sakura would have told you, she was sure of it. But then, Ino Yamanaka, her notorious best friend was dragging her along the dance floor and she could not help but feel a hot stare at the back of her head. Goosebumps arising on her skin had her on edge. She knew then he was blatantly staring at her and he was not trying to hide it in the slightest. It was like then everyone knew what going on and her axis had sifted on its head. She could not fathom this would be the place where Sasuke would lose all his inhibitions, much less with everyone watching in anticipation his next moves. Naruto on the other hand, unbeknownst to her, was throwing just the right comments here and there, making Sasuke see Sakura from a different perspective. About time, if you had asked Naruto; he watched Sasuke analyze Sakura dancing as if she was a riddle ready to be solved.

Sasuke, at the hot age of twenty, was now a young man and finding a woman attractive was the natural course of life. However, for him these new profound feelings confused him. He did not know what he was feeling and all he wanted to do now was stare at Sakura until his eyes tired themselves out. He was ready to activate his sharingan just so he could commit that image to his memory.

That feeling in his chest was starting to bother him though and suddenly he felt all the stares on him from the intense chakra he was producing. Looking around he felt second hand embarrassment for himself, his ears getting red. Getting a shot of sake from the nearby table, Sasuke gulped down its contents and got ready to leave his position at the bar. He could not handle to keep his emotions in check any longer and this was bad. He was not ready to admit to himself what he was feeling and trying to suppress it any longer could do more harm than good. Better he left the situation right now before he put him and Sakura in a compromising position he was not ready to handle yet.

Right at that moment, Sakura decided to turn around, her dress sticking to her like a vice from all the sweat her intense dancing had caused. One look at Sasuke had time freezing. They held an intense eye contact for a few seconds, and her heart fluttered in her chest. She saw the change in him, she has seen that look before when other men had stared her way in the past. It was then she knew, tonight had been something more to him even though nothing has transpired between them yet. Maybe Sasuke was not ready to acknowledge these feelings yet, but Sakura had hope that this was the start of something new between them.

Feeling bold she started to approach him, confident in herself and brave enough thanks to the alcohol she had consumed. The moment she moved, she saw him flatter in his steps. He was about to leave and escape. The fearless Sasuke Uchiha was scared of what was transpiring between them, but she was not about to let him have his chance to escape this time. Sakura saw his jaw clenching and his hand flattering at his side from its place at the bar stool. He stared at her unblinkingly, waiting for her next move like they were about to have a fight at the training grounds.

Sakura then approached the bar like she owned the place and opened her mouth to say the most simple words known to existence.

“Hey, Sasuke”, she greeted in a whoosh, a breathless exclamation. She leaned against the bar stool and waited for the inevitable dismissal of denial.

Sakura found herself surprised however when he went rigid and leaned forward his towering body over her like he was about to whisper a dirty secret in her ear.

“You are different from the last time I remember you,” He confessed hotly, his mouth near her neck. If it was not for the obvious fact that she knew him well, any other person would have thought he was drunkenly leaning on her, but Sakura is not anybody and she understands this the way of him hiding his emotions from showing on his face in the shadows her neck provides.

What a weird way of seeking comfort from his own shyness, Sakura thought.

She idly recalled then that they were not in fact alone and Naruto was right behind them. When he started making obscene signs with his hands Sakura felt herself flush from head to toe, but the murderous glint in her eyes was apparently enough to stop Naruto’s crudeness.

“Eh, Sasuke-kun, what do you mean?”, she asked hesitantly, her hand raising and resting on Sasuke’s back in a sense of comfort. The soft material of his black shirt damp against her palm.

They were almost approaching the stage of hugging right in front of everybody.

Before they could complete the hug though, Sasuke’s head turned to the left, his cheek almost brushing against Sakura’s. The pink haired girl shyly turned her head slightly towards his direction, their faces almost touching. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the effect he still had on her and damn him if he he did not thrive on it.

He could think of all the nice things he could say to her, now it was the perfect time to take a step closer to approaching the inevitable connection they have. But his mind had other plans when the words slipped out of his mouth. In a teasing manner he was only capable of, he smirked and said, “More annoying than ever.”

He was sure she must have caught on his teasing by now. Using bitter words of the past to heal their wounds by putting another meaning to it. She was a smart woman and she could understand his actions better than anyone.

Sasuke knew she had caught on when he felt her fist punch lightly his stomach as if to punish him for insulting her.

“That is not a very nice way of complimenting someone, Sasuke-kun,” she whispered angrily, facing him completely. Any traces of wonder were gone from her emerald eyes replaced with mirth and she continued, smiling menacingly at him, “I thought I taught you better than that.”

“Hm,” Sasuke hummed in response and stood straight once again, looking down at her.

By now they had become a spectacle to their friends, the black haired male could feel Naruto almost bristling with excitement from behind him and he was not about to disappoint his friend who has been pestering him to get on with his feelings already.

“I guess we should spend more time together so I can get better at it.”

The double meaning behind his words was evident.

Sasuke Uchiha then patted Sakura Haruno’s head like it was the most natural thing in the world to do and smiled down at her gently.

His female teammate took a big breath through her nose, rosy cheeks glowing, and crossed her arms across her chest. She had him where she wanted him.

“Damn right we should!”

That was one week ago from her current position at the Hokage office. Just when she was making a great progress with seducing Sasuke, she has to go and approach another man for a mission. Talk about making matters weird between them. The worst part is the fact that she has to tell him. She wonders what his reaction is going to be considering they are not together yet. Is he going to act jealous or indifferent?

Who is she kidding? He is just going to glare her with this stupid scary look he gives in assassination missions to terrify people off the moment the words come out of her mouth and that is it.

“I haven’t finished yet,” Tsunade literally saw the thoughts displayed across Sakura’s face. It is like her life passed before her eyes, and her skin got a tad paler.

“Of course there is more,” the pink haired girl mumbles sadly while looking down, but the Hokage lets it slide.

“You will have back-up,” Tsunade says and sees with the corner of her eye Sakura sucking in a breath, “the rest of Team 7 will be with you,” and then next thing she knows the girl is chocking on air.

“W-what?” Sakura coughed out, giving her teacher a desperate look.

She feels like she is the center of the world and it is slowly closing up on her. Life suddenly looks less appealing, because good old Team 7 is back on track again with Sakura’s first seduction mission as a head start.

“Tsunade-sama, please tell me you are joking.” The pink haired medic grabs the sides of the armchair and hopes it does not break and crumble along with her composure.

The young woman also hopes her teacher is having some kind of twisted pleasure out of this because she is certainly not feeling happy with the news.

Tsunade wants to reprimand her student for losing her temper, but she understands what the girl is going through and also knows she in no better position to talk when it comes to matters like this. Still though, ears and eyes are everywhere and they must keep a low profile when in the Hokage’s office.

“Sakura,” The curvy female looks at her seriously, “Team 7 will be the back-up of this mission and that’s final.”

I am doing it for your sake, Tsunade wants to say but keeps quiet instead.

Somehow, Sakura understands where her teacher is coming from. This will be a test for both sides. It is a test for her that is for sure. A test for patience, a test for her relationship, a test for her seduction abilities both on the target and Sasuke, because let’s be honest, who is going to calm down the last Uchiha other than her?

Sakura closes her eyes, takes a calming breath through her mouth and then controls the pattern as taught by Ino’s yoga lessons. She could do it this.

The young female opens her pretty green eyes once again and then stares at Tsunade straight in eye, a determined expression on her face. The will of fire is practically seeping through her and her fiery temper is burning up again but for another cause.

“That’s the spirit,” Tsunade says proudly and hands her the scroll that has been lying on the wooden desk the whole time. “This is your target, Misty Jade.”

The first thing Sakura does when she steps into the house is to check for a specific chakra signature around the area. Sasuke pays frequent visits to her house nowadays you would think he lived in there, having keys and all, but alas.

She lets out a long sigh of relief, glad that she did not detect Sasuke’s compelling presence. Thank heavens, cost is clear. The twenty year old girl suspects that the males of Team 7 had already been called to Tsunade’s office, the second she was out of the vicinity. She mentally praises her teacher and then she decides to prepare for battle. The kunoichi briefly wonders how the hell she is supposed to deal with this. She has no clue how to handle this.

Sakura runs upstairs, heading straight to the bedroom. She slams the door open, scroll still in hand, and starts rummaging through her things in order to pack. After a few minutes of checking everything, she put all the necessary items in her mission bag. From medical supplies to energy pills to scrolls to clothes to a sleeping bag and lastly to the money she will need for the seduction necessities she has to buy. Finally finished, she sits down on the bed, crumpling the blue silky sheets in the process. Then, Sakura unrolls the scroll and reads.

Mission #B039 Type: B-rank Specialist: F (female)

Stage: Pre Place: Village hidden in the Waterfalls

Target: Misao Takashi

Gender: Male

Age: 25 years old

Characteristics: Red hair, blue eyes and relatively tall.

Efficiency: Messenger

Information: Misao Takashi is an important messenger between two feud lords that control and lead illegal product transportations. Your mission is to seduce said messenger that has in his possession a folder with contract papers which contain info for the next meet up and also a pair of keys. This is the part one of the main ANBU mission that will follow after you succeed. Mission includes back-up. Good luck.

The kunoichi falls back on the bed with a flop, thinking how she should approach the mission. She idly scratches her scalp and tosses her body around from side to side, her long pink locks sprawled across the bed sheets moving along with her. Sakura knows what the village hidden in the Waterfalls is known for. And if her guesses are right, a guy like him would go to a special kind of place. The men of Team 7 will also go there.

“This is just great!” Sakura shouts even though no one is in the room.

She stares up at ceiling, her mind thinking of all the possibilities and scenarios. The pink haired girl knows what to do to succeed in this mission, however hiding from Sasuke is the main problem.

With huff she stands up and starts pacing around the room while babbling nonsense and muttering profanities out loud, until the idea hits her.

“Of course,” Sakura jumps on the bed, “Tsunade-shishou is the solution!”

She lies down, calm once again, and grabs a nearby pillow, squeezing it close to her chest. The warmth it provides calms her for a second, but she resists the urge to snuggle it closer. The girl can already imagine the Uchiha’s frown when she will tell him that she will be staying at Tsunade’s for a few days in order to work on some papers that have to do with the hospital.

Sakura just hopes he will believe it for her sake and for the sake of this mission.

❤︎

“It’s dirty and disgusting in here,” Sasuke mutters angrily, sitting uncomfortably on the animal print armchair, “Why do we even have to do this?”

The hot pink, soft and furry material irritates him even more as his elbow barely glides on it, making it difficult for him to nurse his drink. It is too warm, too velvety.

The last Uchiha almost growls out of sheer annoyance. This mission is far too low for his standards. He cannot believe he allowed himself to be dragged in here. His pride is hurt goddammit. Yes, he may be a man, but he has never set foot in a pleasure house. Or as his best friend and ex-sensei like to call it: a strip club.

The atmosphere is suffocating him, the lights are too dim. All kinds of different and hypnotizing aromas assault his senses, making his clear mind drunk and hazy. He cannot tell if it is his alcoholic beverage that is making him feel this way or it is the misty cloud of seduction and pleasure filled nights that surround this place.

The men of Team 7 have been assigned on a mission just yesterday as a backup to an ANBU specialist. Sasuke was definitely not pleased with the news, but he could not go against the fifth Hokage’s orders as much he wanted to, so he mildly complained until he was shushed by Tsunade. So, here they are today, in the place that their target and the other shinobi are supposed to be. Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki and Kakashi Hatake, being expert ninjas, have already detected the target sitting in the middle of the area, near the front. And now they have to wait. If something goes wrong, only then they are allowed to interfere.

“Focus, Sasuke.” Kakashi says calmly, a white hospital mask covering his face instead of his usual ninja attire. “A mission is a mission.”

The grey haired shinobi is collected as always, and Sasuke cannot help but scowl.

As if the ridiculous place is not enough problems, they were also forced to wear formal clothes. Supposedly, they are ordinary men looking for some fun and not ninjas who are capable of killing anyone in the room within seconds. Thus, the men of Team 7 have to make it believable by dressing up fancily to blend in with crowd and to stay undistinguished.

“Well, it’s not that bad in here.” Naruto tells them with a foxy grin on his face, clearly excited to be in a place like this. A slight blush is covering his cheeks since he has been consuming a few portions of alcohol for an hour now. The blond is pleasantly tipsy and happier than usual.

“Shut up Naruto,” Sasuke turns to his left and addresses his best friend, “If Hinata found out you’re here, she would dump you.”

Sasuke is very irritated, and that results to more insults and jibs than normal. He crosses his legs, right ankle meeting left knee, just to move and do something out of spite.

“T-That’s not true!” The man immediately tries to explain, “I told her it was a mission and she was okay with it!”

Naruto’s face visibly falls, and he looks at Sasuke with his puppy dog eyes. However, before the blonde could set off, being an emotional drunk and all, Sasuke just looks at other side, ready to ignore the impending whining.

Is he even allowed to be drinking on such mission? Kakashi better do something, Sasuke thinks, complaining inside his head instead.

“Don’t fight.” Their teacher interrupts, knowing how those two are and how bad they can get when Sakura is not around to stop them.

He has even given them just enough freedom, permitting them to drink, because he knows they are the back-up of this mission and not the main person. Kakashi strongly believes that intervention will not be needed, considering this an efficient ANBU specialist sent by the Hokage herself.

So, Kakashi just sits relaxed, waits and enjoys the show.

The oldest member of Team 7 is wearing a dark grey button-up shirt, the collar slightly open and a pair of black trousers. Naruto has a similar style, except he sports a nice pair of jeans with a light blue button-up shirt that makes his gorgeous eyes stand out more. Sasuke opts for a more classic style though, completing his look with black trousers, a white button-up shirt (with the first button undone) and an onyx suit jacket to top it off.

It is an extraordinary night today since the place is filled to the brim with men of all ages and from different villages, plus, the interior design of the club is full of pretty decorations. As the shining neon letters say outside on the wooden board above the club’s name, Hustler’s Ho, it promises a night of busty tricks and naughty chicks, and of course a special guest. Sasuke didn’t pay attention to the name, it is useless information anyways.

The waitresses are all beautiful women holding silver trays with glitter and fruity scented oils applied on their bodies and every time they move under the low dimmed lights to serve the customers, their smooth skins sparkle teasingly. The atmosphere is thick with cigarette smoke, but despite that, the room somehow smells good because of the enticing scents that come off from all the perfume the females of the club have put on.

Red velvet curtains hang from the ceiling at the left side of the club and make up for entrances to the changing rooms, while the bar and the bathrooms are at the right side of it. In the center of the room is the stage where the lights shine the most since the ceiling has a lot of spotlights in all kinds of colors there. The rest of the huge area is only provided with low dimmed lights and that makes the dancers at the stage stand out more. The walls are painted a dark pink color and it gives the room a sense of obscurity and raw sexuality.

Great amount of money gets thrown at the stage as the ladies entertain the crowd with their dancing skills either on the poles or on the floor. Excited shouts of more can be heard even from where the members of Team 7 are seated at the back of the club. The dancers are barely dressed in Sasuke’s opinion; too much skin is bared for the eyes to feast. He averts his eyes, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

A dark blonde girl is currently dancing, her back turned to the pole, her hands up in the air touching the steel above her head. She is moving her lower half sexily in fluid left and right motions, her hips rolling expertly. The girl is wearing purple lingerie with her hair up in a high ponytail, and money is stuck in all kind of places from the men who put it there. She keeps it professional, but her face still expresses the hidden erotic feelings she wants to convey.

Then, all of a sudden, the music slowly quiets down and a deep male voice comes from the speakers. “Thank you dear, you were amazing as always! Please, grab your money and clear the stage.”

Sasuke silently scoffs and rolls his eyes at this. He should really stop drinking, the alcohol is making him show his irritation and that is not a good thing when on a mission. He has to keep his face impassive, bring forth a cold facade. Especially when in that said mission, Sakura is not there to calm him down and Naruto only breathes to make it worse for him with his antics. Of course, Kakashi is nonchalant as always.

The crowd gets almost completely silent, only a few murmurs can be heard now, and the unknown voice continues. “Only today, we have a special guest dancing…”

Without warning, a swift sound gains the attention of everyone inside the room. It is a whoosh of air fluttering against hard yet soft and velvet material that signals that the curtains have just been opened. The whispers get a tad bit louder at this, but get lost when the raspy voice resonates through the room once again. “Now, gentlemen, prepare to meet tonight’s special guest, a beauty and an exotic flower among the ladies…”

The sound came from the left side of the club, near the back. Heels clanking against the floor in a steady rhythm and elegant manner are the only thing that can be heard. The steps are light and slow paced. It has a nice ring to it, the continuous clicking is pleasant to the ears and everyone is holding their breath in anticipation. The males of Team 7 hear loud gasps, watching as men are getting blown away by the mere sight of this special guest. Heads are turned, all the attention clearly diverted behind. The pace has a unique air of confidence that no one can quite put their finger on. The woman has a stealthy and powerful walking. A soft tune starts playing as an intro while the woman comes closer and closer to the stage.

The dancer narrows the distance between her and the stage as she takes painfully slow steps towards it or so it seems to the eager men. The shadow that still hovers near the area where Team 7 is –thanks to the somber and tricky lighting– hides her, until finally, a curvy form starts to appear as she comes forth to where the light is. Her silver, almost dark gray, stilettos are the first things that show. A few agonizingly and torturous seconds later, long legs and fair smooth skin come into view.

Naruto reacts first, an exclamation leaving his lips. It is not a sharp inhalation of amazement, but it is a loud gasp of shock. His blue eyes widen and there are hazy no more. Cold sweat forms on his forehead, and he is feeling like someone threw cold water on him to wake him up and bring him back to the harsh reality. It is definitely not an easy feat to astound the ninja who is known as the best at surprising people.

The voice resonates through the room once again and the male starts praising the newcomer dancer, “An exotic babe, outstanding with high class skills.” The announcement is over, and the music gets steadily louder while the special guest is one step away from the stage.

She just stands still with her back on the cheering crowd for a few seconds as if to bewitch the already elated men with her beauty. The young woman is posing sensually and it compliments her already perfect body. She is captivating in every sense. Her legs are long and toned while her tights are voluptuous and her rear is curvy. Her waist is slight bent and it makes her behind stand out even more. Her back sparkles teasingly thanks to the glittery substance that has been applied on her skin everywhere on her body. She lifts her left hand up to course it through her silky long locks while her right one is resting on her inner tight in a provocative pose.

That unmistakable pink hair belongs only to one person.

Kakashi feels his mouth hanging open inside his mask. This event took a very fast turn for the worst and he does not like the ending result at all. She is the last person he could think of going up there if you had asked him about it. He closes his eyes and hums quietly awaiting for the impeding doom waiting to happen.

Sasuke reacts not a second too late and his breath hitches. A flash of light blinds him and he blinks his eyes twice in response. The lighting must be playing tricks on him, because there is no fucking way this is Sakura ready to go up there. He freezes and his face goes rigid. His calculating yet beautiful onyx eyes widen and his naturally pouty lips part slightly in shock. A wave of cool air passes by him –probably someone activated a fan to create more special effects for such a unique guest– and it makes his soft black hair flutter in the wind. An intoxicating scent fills his senses and clouds every ounce of rationality within him.

The special guest goes up the stage, turns around and Sasuke can breathe no more.

“Please welcome, Misty Jade!”

Sasuke Uchiha, for the first time in years, sees red.

#sasusaku #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #ssfanfiction #ssfanfic #ssfic #sasusaku fanfiction #depending on the response i am going to get i am going to post the next chapter #this is a tease fic yall #my baby strawberrycreampiefluff is the bessst #my first after yeaaaars boi #yes i am 4everxd #vasoula writes

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leportraitducadavre · 10 months ago

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Before I reply to you, let me get this straight for good measure: I think it's extremely disrespectful to reblog an anti-post correctly tagged and put the character's tag on it; it serves no purpose other than for "pro" fans to find such writing, bothering them as they encounter a post not meant for them, and me, personally, as I wanted to respect my fandom's boundaries. My subsequent response to you will be quite harsh because of it.

You keep mentioning "sexist situations" inside the Naruto manga as women were underutilized during significant fights, yet you completely disregard the original point of my post where I stated that Sakura's personality, specifically, was a conscious decision on Kishimoto's part as almost all the rest of female characters behave differently regarding the men they're attracted to or approach differently the women they interact with. Sakura is the only one seen badmouthing both Ino and Tsunade, the latter never speaking badly nor "threatening" Sakura's beauty or capacities as Ino did.

There are instances of sexist writing throughout the manga, yes. Kishimoto is a man raised in a patriarchal society, and he wrote a story during the nineties, yet he gave his female creations independence, power, and even designs that other mangakas didn't even bother with giving them; he is not obligated to reflect today's standards and your own personal tastes either, albeit I'm sure he apologies for succumbing to the cultural standards regarding women's position in society that he grew up with.

With the exception of Tsunade, all female characters are either done dirty and/or underutilized. That's not "good writing" of a purposefully unlikeable character (Sakura is not meant to be unlikeable, the story compares her to Kushina and Kishimoto has said Kushina is inspired in his own wife), but rather, it is awful character writing based on the author's misogynistic bias.

Underutilized? Somewhat. I remember instances in the war when Ino alone saved Team 10, where Tsunade and Sakura saved hubdreds with their medical techniques, when Madara himself complemented Mei, when Konan alone almost took out Obito, and so on, meanwhile, Kakashi's only significant move was against Kakuzu, and even then Naruto had to finish him off for him.

You're confusing their personality traits with their overall position inside the manga, narratively they're all unimportant but a few exceptions (like Rin, and for a specific character only); what does them "not having good enough fights" have to do with Sakura being purposefully selfish and mean towards other female characters? You're proving my point by taking the "likeability" aspect of my post (which is a very specific trait that I focused on, never denying other instances of sexism inside the manga) and overlapping it with other characteristics of their participation in the story.

(Sakura is not meant to be unlikeable, the story compares her to Kushina and Kishimoto has said Kushina is inspired in his own wife)

I never said she was meant to be unlikeable, but that her "unlikeable traits" are specific to her and her alone, which means such aspects were purposefully written for her. What does "her being compared to Kushina" (by whom? The fandom made that parallel between both characters, not the narrative) have to do with him not exploring "controversial" aspects of a person? Furthermore, who cares if Kushina is based on his wife? Kushina is not Sakura, that's a point to be made regardless of the "similarities" they might possess, and also what exactly is stopping him from writing what he considers are negative characteristics of those he loves and based his work on? Do you truly think a person reflects just the good parts of those they care for?

Misogyny runs deep in Naruto's writing and shonen overall. For example: something prominent in shonen is the sexualization of teenage female characters. We don't justify it as being good writing just because it's intentional on the author's part, right?

Are you trying to have a "gotcha" moment by mixing up two different points of discussion that have actually, by your own admission, no actual relevance to this specific manga or mangaka? How can you compare complex personality traits of a female character that disputes pre-conceptions of patriarchal norms (such as how all female are "good-spirited" as that's in their nature) with the sexualization of teenage characters?

We don't justify it as being good writing just because it's intentional on the author's part, right?

What? Is this what you understood? Is this what sent you raging against my post?

You read me, pointing out a specific character with specific traits and comparing it to another female character within the same universe, yet with different traits, and you thought "mysoginist motherfucker" whilst the point just flew over your head. Here, I'll simplify the point as it might be quite difficult to understand:

An author has two different female characters: Female A and Female B. A, is specifically shown to be mean-spirited, badmouthing others around her and obsessing over a boy; B, on the other hand, is shown to be nice towards the first girl, and while she likes the same boy as character A, she never puts others down nor pursues the boy as obsessively as A.

We can conclude, over the analysis of these very different characters, that Female A was made like this on purpose, as Female B shares little to no personality traits that A has, so A being the way she is, has less to do with misogynistic ideals of the author and more to do with the creator's want to explore such characteristics.

The most egregious in-universe example of this is Hinata, who by Shippuden has no other single motivation outside of liking Naruto and being noticed by him.

I've explained this before: Hinata is the embodiment of the "desirable" female prototype that existed in the genre during Naruto's publication. She's everything female characters were supposed to be: Nice, quiet, with an ample bosom, and in love with the main character.

She exists as a secondary character in Neji's story as she is stripped of any relevance beyond that. She's the reflection of a specific trope that Kishimoto literally mocks as he gives her nothing, even when he builds her up and "taunts" the audience by giving her a powerful speech where you think she might accomplish something, she fails! He's laughing at characters like her that the shönen genre loves to pair the MC's with (then Shönen Jump decided to actually pair her with Naruto, and he was fucked).

A more subtle example is Kushina: an Uzumaki who was the host of the nine tails and had ambitions of becoming Hokage. What does Kishimoto do with all that? Give all the glory to her husband and relegate her to a housewife.

What is it with you and your attempt to give me a lesson about what misogyny is? Have you read any other posts I've written? I have two regarding feminism. Allow me to repeat myself in case you missed it: Me discussing specific personality traits of a single (can't highlight it more than that) female character and defending such characteristics as "the author's wish to explore su dynamics" instead of "him being sexist" doesn't deny other sexist instances inside the manga.

It’s also shown how the Hokage is pretty much pointed out through contacts; it matters not if Kushina wished to be Hokage as that place is given in regards to who backed them up, which is why Tsunade (a female!) got the position. Kushina was also a foreigner and, above all, a Jinchuuriki, which clearly didn’t do her any favors since she was seen as an emotional “liability” as her son had to fight the preconceptions that came with it to acquire such a position. Kiba also dreamed of becoming Hokage, but he wasn’t given the hat; them expressing their desire to be the village’s leader doesn’t translate to them ever obtaining the title.

Just wonder why the male characters of the story get complex and nuanced relationships with each other, but women's relationships are centered around men or barely given screentime (if any at all).

Only two pairs of male characters have reciprocated eachother's obsession (Naruto/Sasuke -I even argue that Sasuke wasn’t as obsessed with Naruto as Naruto is with Sasuke until perhaps the very end of the manga; and Madara and Hashirama) everyone else's obsession is either one-sided or non-existent. Sakura is obsessed with Ino even before Sasuke influences their friendship and Sakura's subsequent prioritization of him/her feelings for him.

or barely given screentime (if any at all)

Are these relationships relevant to the plot or the story Kishimoto wanted to tell? Do they reflect or have any impact regarding the military bureaucracy and the repressive system that was built surrounding it? If the answer is "no," then I don't see why Kishimoto would or should bother with them.

He focuses on Naruto and Sasuke as they're the reincarnations of Indra and Ashura that "broke the cycle of hatred" and on Madara and Hashirama as they were the "creators" of the shinobi system that Sasuke (and others) are raising against. There's no point in "knowing who is better, Sakura or Ino/Neji or Lee," as that type of rivalry didn't develop further political intricacies as Naruto/Sasuke or Madara/Hashirama did; which is the actual plot of the entire manga.

Edit to add: It is also quite striking how the main plot focuses on the problems brought about by a military system whose foundations are intrinsically patriarchal and how much of the "feminist fandom" focuses on the little to no inclusion of women within that system, rather than its dismantling, which was proposed to and tried to be carried out by other characters such as Konan (to mention a female character as bringing Sasuke to the picture might "compromise" the fandom's idea of "feminism" that upholds itself under the notion that only women can be part of it).

To quote @dushman-e-jaan:

What's even funnier is that the military as an institution is deeply patriarchal: it's patriarchy at its best. So wanting Sakura's inclusion into its apparatus is just a dull, neo-liberal contextualization of locating a "middle-class side-lined girl" into patriarchy and its state strongholds, its militia arms, extensions that are extensively, liberally, and fully utilized to maintain state's oppression. Something which we saw in the case of Ame's mass-starvation, Uchiha Massacre, Hyuuga Clan's slavery, etc. In this regard, to Sakura fandom, inclusion in this oppressive-apparatus is a power-fantasy, a means to cut in on the action not cut it out; so therefore, the question shouldn't be as to why Sakura isn't included; it ought to be that why should there be any expansion on the basis of inclusivity into patriarchal institutions in lieu of smashing these systems? However, Sasuke's just a mean "terrorist" who made "weh-men tears" flow, so the misogyny is just Q-anon deep, and nothing but tumblr feminism can unfurl its insidious tentacles.

In lesser terms, the problem with this idea of "inclusivity" within an intrinsically repressive patriarchal system is that it is sustained on a smoke screen that hides the most rotten veins of the state, because then what is relevant is not the dismantling of an oppressive, enslaving and genocidal political system, but the lack of female participation within that oppressive, enslaving and genocidal political system. To this specific "woke feminist" fandom that is the real problem, that is the real issue within such a mindset.

Women are forbidden or diminished from positions of power in a structure specifically designed to oppress different groups of people to keep others at the top of the pyramid, and instead of seeing such a construction as a direct reflection of the real world's dogmas and the characters that oppose them as real world's feminist, you lot complain about the lack of female representation or "female power" within that maniacal structure! You're more concerned about women not being "housewives" inside a military state that rewards blind nationalism and punishes criticism with literal genocide, than dismantling the entire structure upon which such a patriarchal notion is built.

Funnily enough, even when I point this out, you all will find a way to twist it to your own benefit, because then Kishimoto is the one responsible for not "allowing" female characters to rise against such a patriarchal system (despite Sakura never suffering any of its worst consequences as she was taught by the Hokage herself, or even Hinata getting to be a slave-owner). Inclusivity is everything that this argument boils down to, your twisted wish to see women at every single panel whether it'll be against or in favor of a genocidal state.

That's what "woke feminists" taught you and that's what you'll defend with your breath, the problem gets again individualized and the real issue, the real problem that the plot is trying to reflect, gets buried upon piles of these arguments.

"The problem is about the military state that at its core it's patriarchal" =/= "Then why did he write it as a patriarchal state?"

"The military state it's patriarchal at its core so it's the real world one" =/= "Then why didn't he write female characters rising against it?"

"There're characters that oppose such structure, which is feminism at its finest." =/= "But they aren't female."

And so on… it's impossible to "win" or get our point across as you move the end goal every time a new argument arises. It's about fulfilling your power fantasies of invincibility rather than bringing down the patriarchal structure; just like with Naruto's character, is about gaining acknowledgment within the oppressive system (becoming a renowned/desired individual) rather than dismantling the power sphere to guarantee other minorities' safety.

Their idea of feminism comes down to women having a more important part inside that tyrannical paradigm, bringing the power scale towards them. It's not about stripping oppressive institutions of their power, but rather having influence over such spaces.

This is an example of White Feminism's victory; white feminism doesn't want the oppressive structure to be questioned, they don't want their faint position of power to be argued; they want to expand their influence and reach beyond the usual cultural "female" spaces, so they bring down the discussion to simpler topics, like the idea of female participation in such affairs; if they are involved, then it's good if they're not, then it's not.

Under this premise, and I repeat myself because I must keep my arguments as simple and repetitive as possible, the patriarchal system against which they claim to rebel is sustained and deepened since the women who claim to subscribe to the feminist movement have modified their bases to obtain greater relevance, greater individuality among the exploited community -they stop being oppressed to some degree as a reward for their contribution, they become what they swore to destroy in exchange for "inclusion."

For the love of god, here we go again:

Kishimoto is an excellent writer. He owes nothing to the fandom, he’s the creator and owner of his work, and whatever he decides to do is what you get. No, Sakura didn’t fail because she was “badly written” it was a clear decision on his part to make her that way, it’s not his problem you confuse “good writing” with likability and I’m sorry woke feminism ruined complex, sometimes straight up evil, female characters for you to the point where you believe them taking shitty decisions is an explicit reflection of the author’s misogyny instead of them exploring different types of personalities. If you believe InoSaku is a relationship with “wasted potential” that’s presented in a toxic manner because Kishimoto can’t write female relationships, take a closer look at every other rivalry inside the manga and tell me how many of them develop in a healthy manner, just because they have almost no focus doesn’t mean they don’t follow the exact same rules every other relationship of the same nature does. I’m sorry Sakura is so obsessed with Sasuke she diminishes every other relationship she possess in order to elevate her status inside Sasuke’s life, but Ino, who also considers Sakura her rival and who also likes Sasuke, behaves completely opposite to her, being able to move on and respect his rejection, how come is misogynistic if Sakura is the only one doing so? Have you read Naruto’s obsession with Sasuke? The manga is pretty much dedicated to it, how is Sakura’s fixation worse than his?

#do not cross tag #anti naruto #anti naruto uzumaki #anto woke feminism #anti sakura haruno #you know these sakura stans that spew hatred towards sasuke sustain their grudge against him over this exact wokeness #Sasuke's existence and his stance against the military system to which they want to belong #and his constant personal rejection of her romantical feelings is the very core of their raw hatred #anti sakura fandom #anti hinata #anti hinata fandom #anti inosaku #anti sakuino #in defense of kishimoto #anti sasuke antis

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chattegeorgiana · 3 years ago

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Why do you prefer Sakura over Hinata? Hinata is more friendly and has a personable and tender personality. Sakura is the opposite.

If Hinata would've been part 1 Hinata, I would've had no problem in still liking her. I always said part 1 Hinata was tied there with Sakura on my list, with a slight preference for Sakura.

I like Sakura because she's assertive, vocal, isn't afraid to speak her mind. What Sakura represents is much more positive than what Hinata ended-up representing.

The meek, submissive, satellite character who is there to be used as a device to sexually please the male audience.

Hinata was absolutely stripped of any agency as a character. Not that she had much to begin with, but it seemed to.

However, in the end she ended-up representing that negative traditional role of women.

Mind you, I said negative. Cuz it wouldn't have been anything wrong for her to stay in a traditional role if we would've seen that she has a choice, agency as a character and that's her choice.

But no. Hinata didn't start like that.

Hinata started as a girl in a traditional and male dominated setting where she had no agency, who sought to change.

For her to end up in a setting where she's nothing more than a symbol to represent what I said earlier... sorry, but I can't.

I'd rather take the loud, unapologetic Sakura any day. The one who is both a ninja, a mother and a doctor.

Though, Kishi did her dirty at the end, too, by having her LAST appearance be dusting the house.

The girls of Naruto were all done dirty, sadly.

But I will take Sakura any day over Hinata. Because being shy doesn't make you friendly or tender. You forget that the character who was out to make friends with anyone called her weird in the beginning. Not to mention at the end she is showing invading Naruto's privacy when she uses Byakugan to peek in his wallet.

Then, in the war when everyone was thinking about Naruto, she was thinking about how she wants to be the one next to him. That move was so cringe, because at that moment it wasn't about her. It was about him.

Her character sadly was done dirty imo when it had the potential to be truly awesome.

Had she been like Orihime from Bleach for example, we would've talked a different talk right now.

#hinata-hyuga #sakura haruno

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psalloacappella · 4 years ago

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scherzo

Day 2 Prompt: Cooking // “I didn’t know you had that habit.”

@sasusakublankperiodweek

Ao3 | FFN | ↓

“You miss him — don’t deny it! You’re a softhearted man.”

“I plead the fifth.”

Quiet laughing, shared only in a small clearing at the edge of the world, filthier than they like but close to the salt and earth and sea, nothing in between them but love and a basket of peeled fruit.

The first time she does it, Sasuke is quite sure he’s succumbing to blindness, or at least some degradation of sight. Must have been a trick of the light.

The second time she does it prompts a double-take.

On the third time he looms up behind her as she crouches near the fruit basket, and can’t help the incredulous sigh that escapes him, which startles her; in hindsight, his approach was a poor choice of abrupt entrance into her space, considering she’s been putting a sharp object so close to her lips.

Discarded rinds flutter to the forest floor as well — as butterflies, as kaleidoscopic confetti littering the ground beneath them from her produce peeling.

“Sasuke-kun!” The knife falls to the dirt with a keen metal pitch. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“What are you doing, Sakura?”

“You said your vision was fine,” she says with a pout. “Making dinner, obviously.”

“And . . . have you always done that?”

“Done what?”

A rustle and sigh, not wanting to give form and shape to the action. Plucking up the knife now spattered with dry soil, she gently cleans it against the material of her thigh and settles into her haunches properly, seeming puzzled. Flame of the small makeshift pit of fire popping merrily, a boiling stone pot waiting to be fed previously-peeled vegetables. Between her thumb and forefinger she dangles the knife absentmindedly.

Maybe it’s a silly worry — maybe he’s just hungry. Brow furrowing, he decides to tell the truth in his sometimes brusque way.

“Just be careful with that. And anyway, where’d you pick that up? Seems like something our teammate might do.”

When her eyes flash for a moment, bright in the fading daylight, he considers that so far out from the main road, no one could hear him scream. Ah, stupid response.

She rolls those elegant green eyes in a long, mocking arc, and blows a strand of long pink hair out of her face. Both of them are a bit scruffy, a long way from an inn or even a village, off the grid for a while after encounters with persistent bandits. Possessing renowned abilities and not exactly strangers to the world after being honored post-war, they concluded they may have overdone it in their retaliation.

And, propping up the bodies afterward near a visible post near the road (gently, of course, and with all limbs intact!), they decided to travel light and low the following weeks.

They’ve watched each other transform into slightly more feral versions of one another. It’s not unwelcome, the smudges on her face and the ragged edges of her hair beginning to reach her waist. He wonders what he must look like to her; brutish, perhaps, although by the way they’re so close at night, perhaps not.

She’s not exactly the same girl he left behind.

“Is poisoning the way you wanted to go, darling?”

Sasuke blanches. “Sakura?”

Flipping the knife and catching it again, she aims the point at him. “Do not compare me to Naruto, or there will be a tragic accident here indeed.”

He’s done this before, stumbled into a flippant comment that he doesn’t expect to get her going. Well, he’s learning.

“In fact, don’t compare any woman to Naruto,” she adds, wrinkling her nose. “Not if you prefer living.”

Sasuke tamps down a snort that could be laughter. He doesn’t usually stop her rants — they’re sort of endearing.

“Listen, I know you were wandering around the world with your own . . . aims,” she says, waving the knife around again, “but I did an absurd lineup of missions while you were gone: reconnaissance, medical dispatch, undercover — yes, I did, I see that smirk of yours, and don’t you know women tend to have much, much higher completion rates than the men on those?”

Yes, Sasuke knows all these things, but getting her heated, sometimes, is a joy and entertainment in itself that he’s at least been smart enough not to admit. Assumes she’ll discover it eventually, the way he quiets down in the face of her temper, the shameless way he’s realized he watches her eyes and lips and an angry rouge simmer up through the skin of cheeks and chest.

“Not to mention I’m usually the only kunoichi on those missions, or at the very least outnumbered; do you know what it’s like to bunk with a whole damn bunch of you? Gods!”

Jabbing the knifepoint in the basket next to her laden with a colorful bouquet of chopped produce, it comes up with a piece of apple, which she points at him in a vaguely threatening manner.

The sight of this particular fruit sends a strange pang throughout, plucking at a string in his heart in the vein of a vibrating and resonating harp.

“And if you’re worried about me hurting myself,” she says with a sharp tongue cluck, “I’ll have you know — but you should already know! — that I’ve performed countless surgeries, sewed up hundreds of bodies, been horribly poisoned, pinned like a cushion, and sure maybe I have picked up a gross habit or two from Naruto, but you know what being around him is like, he rubs off on everyone, and the point is,” and now she takes an angry bite of the apple chunk that’s still speared through with the knife, chewing angrily, and waves the uneaten half at him some more, “I am perfectly capable of using knives, and at total and complete liberty to lick the knife when I’m done! It isn’t the worst thing you can put in your mouth anyway. You’re one to talk: You put all sorts of inanimate things in your mouth, even when I offer to help you, you were bandaging wounds with your teeth for gods’ sake!”

Just about spent, she seems to burn even brighter in the dusk. Sasuke thinks of fruit on hospital floors, the earth splitting beneath his feet: She is at once something gentle, something fierce.

When she tosses the knife back into the fruit basket and the spearing of a cleaved, unlucky fruit chunk sounds between them, Sasuke’s too slow to hide his smirk and knows he’s been found out.

“You think this is funny! Oh-ho, you think it’s hilarious when I’m mad, don’t you? When I defend myself?”

Sasuke shakes his head, lackadaisical. Settled in and sated like a large jungle cat. “I didn’t want you cutting yourself. That’s all.”

“Could’ve saved me the rant, then,” she mutters. Her stomach growls louder than she anticipates, and she presses her hands to her face and groans. “So embarrassing! I’m hungry, dirty, fucking vagabond vogue and you just sit there and you look so, ugh, self-satisfied.”

Sighing, she tumbles back into a sitting position and cards a hand through her long hair.

“I shouldn’t have compared you to Naruto,” he offers, still fighting a smirk. “It wasn’t what I meant in the slightest.” He pauses. “I . . like you this way.”

“Oh, what way?”

“ . . . scrappy?”

“You mean filthy?”

“Strong?”

“Should’ve known that by now.”

“Indeed.”

“Bandits? A lil’ thing called the Fourth Shinobi War? Naruto’s ribs?”

“Ah, now who’s bringing up the idiot?”

“You miss him — don’t deny it! You’re a softhearted man.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“Perhaps . . . I did speak out of turn.”

Sakura leans back on hands, tosses her head to the sky to beam at the budding evening stars.

“I do appreciate it, though. You caring, I mean,” she adds. “But I promise I know my way around sharp objects.”

Something slips from his lips in undertone, a quiet remark that draws her mischievous green gaze.

“That too,” she says. She tosses her long, wild hair over her shoulder and meets his eyes head-on.

Staring back and channeling the same crackling heat as the fire a few feet away.

“So,” she says triumphantly, eyes aglitter, “shall we discuss, over dinner, the bad habits involving your mouth, Sasuke-kun?”

#SSBlankPeriod2021 #SSBPDay2 #sasusaku #psalloacappella:SSBP

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jutsuuu · 4 years ago

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oh shit!! 🍓

oh shit!

Lemme just say, you are a god damn delight.

The first thing I ever saw of yours was that art of shinkami in the snow, and as soon as I saw that I was like ah. She gets it. This is a good one. And I was RIGHT!

Your art is high key amazing, there’s always such love and care put into it, especially the TML illustrations. Something about your style just sets off little happy signals in my brain whenever I see your art. It’s so comforting. Our mutual love for Kakashi is wonderful, and holy crap your taste in music is TOP TIER.

I always love it when you seem to get a little kick out of my tags, especially when you send me a post to laugh about them it makes me so happy. Whenever I see shinkami I think of you, half of the time it’s because I’ve seen it because you reblogged it but the other half I’m like hmm ging will like this, better queue it up for when she’s online so she can see it. I am always so happy I followed you because your reblogs are hilarious and your original content is beautiful 🥺

I am also eagerly awaiting ur essay on the women of Naruto and how they were done dirty

#yes I’m still doin these #this took so long for me to get to cos I was driving I’m so sorry asfjflfll #also sorry but making this reminded me of that shinkami art so I went and queued up a bunch of ur posts

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kuriquinn · 5 years ago

Text

Inquiring Minds Want To Know [one-shot]

Blanket Fic Disclaimer

Original Prompt by: Anonymous

" you know how men rate girls on the scale of their hotness? And that girls do the same? But the difference is that men are scaled not on their hotness, but on the size of their penis" I read this line somewhere and was hoping if you can make a fic related to it? Cause that would be awesome 😂😂”

Author’s Note: As promised during Evil Author Day, my goal is to actually finish some of my WIPs this year. So, here’s one that a lot of people have been asking about.

Warning: Total crack. Like seriously. It’s going into the Poor Judgement ‘verse along with the other ridiculous stuff I come up with.

Beta Reader: *None but me and my editing software :)

Read it on Ao3 if you’re a registered user!

⁂ ⁂ ⁂

“And, it’s official!” Sakura declares, pouring the last bit of sake into her cup before raising it in front of her. “The Fourth Annual Sexy Wives of Konoha Summit is now in session. Kanpai!”

The rest of the women in the back booth of the izakaya raise their own porcelain cups and chorus, “Kanpai!” before tipping back the alcohol.

“Can I just say, I think our summit is a lot more fun than the Kage summit?” Tenten suggests.

“Definitely,” Temari agrees. “More alcohol, which I’m in favor of.”

“And we probably have more interesting stuff to talk about,” Karui decides.

“Does anyone actually know what they’re talking about?” Ino wants to know.

“Something about tariffs,” Hinata replies. “Or…sheep, I think. Maybe both.”

“Or aliens,” Sakura submits.

“Or aliens.”

“You know what they should be talking about?” Ino wants to know. “Better footwear for shinobi. I mean, seriously, the athletic sandals we used to wear as genin? Do you know how much blood and muck I used to get between my toes? It’s a nationwide crisis, is what it is.”

“Yeah!” Manako agrees. “Screw aliens.”

“Or preferably don’t,” Sakura muses. “Since that’s how you get god-tier ninja prone to insanity and several lifetimes of angst on repeat.” Everyone glances at her curiously and her clears her throat. “Never mind.”

The other women murmur their agreements, clink their cups, and drink deep again.

Ino glances at her watch. “So how long do you think we have?”

“Until Sai instigates a fight between Naruto and Sasuke, and one or both of them go flying out of the Hokager Tower,” Sakura replies sagely.

Temari shakes her head. “You know, there are days when I think I married the biggest pain in the ass, and then I remember who you married.”

“Are those the days you take a break from bullying Shikamaru to stuff him with food?”? Ino teases.

“I wouldn’t have to stuff him with food if the idiot would just eat during the day.”

“Naruto’s the same,” Hinata sighs. “They’re so busy all the time. And it’s starting to affect the children. Boruto’s been acting out more and more since Naruto became the Hokage. And Himawari’s entered to ‘no’ stage.”

“I know how to fix that one,” Karui says. “If she keeps saying no, ask her if she wants something sweet. When she ‘nopes’ herself out of a treat a few times, that will stop.

“Augh! Are you kidding?!” Ino interrupts suddenly. “Are we seriously talking about our husbands and kids?”

“What’s wrong with that?” Sakura asks.

“Besides the fact we always talk about our husbands and kids? Come on, ladies, get it together! Just because we have babies now doesn’t make us any less badass. Let’s live it up!”

“Four more terrifying words were never uttered,” Temari says.

“Gai in a thong,” Manako offers without missing a beat.

Tenten and Karui spit out the drinks they were sipping, while Ino and Sakura groan. Even Hinata gives a bit of a shudder.

“I stand corrected,” the blond woman says, tipping her own drink in acknowledgement.

“I’m both intensely curious and terrified of the thoughts in your head,” Sakura informs the Inuzuka woman. “And I’ve been a medic in warzones.”

“We all have our little talents,” Manako says. “So—what’s the plan for tonight? Drinking games?”

“Obviously,” Ino says. “But how can we make it more fun?”

“We could go to the Hokage Rock and draw all over Naruto’s face. Not like doesn’t have it coming.”

“How can we make it more fun without getting arrested,” Sakura amends, rolling her eyes.

“Who’s going to arrest you? You’re a hero of Konoha.”

“We could do karaoke,” Tenten suggests. “There’s a new place that opened a few blocks away.”

“No one wants to hear me sing,” Temari says, while Hinata desperately shakes her head; she still tends to avoid any kind of public attention.

“All that stuff sounds complicated,” Karui says. “And it involves more walking around than I feel like tonight.”

“Assuming you can even walk at the end of the night.”

“That too.”

“What about Truth or Dare?” Manako offers, all would-be-innocence. “That’s always a crowd pleaser.”

That earns a few groans.

“That’s so predictable,” Ino complains. “We seriously can’t come up with anything else?”

“Well, we could do ‘Never Have I Ever’, but somebody’s husband officially blacklisted that game two years ago.”

Everyone looks at Hinata, who shrugs. “I still don’t know why he did that. Something about village morals.”

“If it involved anyone affiliated with Team 7, I don’t want to know,” Tenten says decisively.

“Now that that’s settled,” Manako nods and leers at Ino. “Truth or dare?”

“Oh my god, are we actually doing this?” she groans, and throws back her sake. “Okay. Fine. Truth.”

“Lame,” Sakura accuses.

“I’ll remind you when it’s your turn.”

Manako, after thinking about it a few moments, grins. “Alright. I’ve got one: if Sai wanted to roleplay during sex, who or what would you want him to role play as?”

Ino’s jaw drops. “Are you kidding me?”

“Wow, she went right for the dirty stuff on the first go,” Tenten guffaws.

“And you’re surprised by this?” Temari quips.

“Anytime now, Ino-pig.”

“I’m going to get you back for this.”

“You’re stalling,” Manako singsongs. “Do I need to come up with a penalty dare?” She grins, sharp canines giving her a wolfish look.

“No!” Ino snaps, rightly wary of any dare the older woman might conceive of. She purses her lips for a moment, cheeks still burning bright, and then holds her head up as if deciding she won’t be embarrassed by this. “I’m the daimyo’s virginal daughter and Sai’s the court artist commissioned to paint my portrait, only as soon as we’re alone he seduces me. Only we have to be completely quiet or we’ll get caught.”

The other women giggle a little at that.

“That seems very well thought out,” Manako says. “Also, kind of tame for what I expected from you.”

“What exactly did you expect, some kind of dominatrix fantasy?” Ino grumbles. “Sai’s very literal. It’s hard to get him to pretend things outside of what he knows.”

“That sounds an awful lot like it’s something you’ve actually done.”

“Forehead, truth or dare,” Ino orders, the abruptness more telling than an actual verbal answer.

Manako sniggers as Sakura rolls her eyes, folds her arms as if expecting a challenge, and replies, “Dare.”

“Coward.”

“Bite me.”

They stick their tongues out at each other.

“Fine. Wimp out. I dare you to…” Ino casts about for a moment, and then smirks. “I dare you to do a body shot off Hinata’s chest.”

“What?!” the Hokage’s wife squeaks as the other women roar with laughter.

“Now who’s going right for the dirty stuff?” Manako jeers. “Although I can’t say I disapprove.”

“That’s not…why would you…?” Hinata looks like there might be steam coming out of her ears.

“Relax, Hinata,” Sakura grumbles. “I’m not going to do something you’re uncomfortable with, and she knows it.” She juts her chin out at her best friend. “What’s the penalty truth?”

“Does Sasuke ever motorboat you?” Ino asks immediately. “Or try to, considering your lack of breasts.”

“Shots fired,” Tenten murmurs to Temari, who nods with a smirk.

“I hate you,” Sakura mutters, mortified. “And no. He doesn’t. Mostly because I don’t actually think he knows what that means.”

“I really, really believe that,” Manako says honestly.

“You have an awful lot to say tonight, Manako—how about you? Truth or dare.”

“Truth,” she replies, sipping from her cup. “I have no shame.”

Sakura raises an eyebrow at that, and then smiles in a good approximation of the older woman’s own merciless smirk. “What is the sappiest, most lovey-dovey, non-sexual thing you and Kakashi have ever done?”

Manako splutters, sake going everywhere as she coughs and tries to breathe.

“Penalty,” she gasps out, glaring at Sakura.

“So much for no shame,” Temari says.

“I dare you to…” Sakura thinks about it and then grins, “I dare you to let Tenten cut and style your hair with just a kunai.”

There’s a chorus of impressed ohs.

Manako glares. “I just got it back to the length I like since the boys were born.”

“Well, you could always just answer the question from before…”

Manako huffs and climbs unapologetically across the table to sit in front of Tenten. “Well, go on.”

“Bold of you to assume I have a kunai,” the other woman says.

“You own a weapons shop and you’re a shinobi. Of course you have a kunai.”

“I was planning on a night of drinking with the girls, not battle.” When everyone gives her unimpressed looks, she pouts and digs a blade out from the hidden pocket of her pants. “I was going to leave it home…”

“Sure you were,” Karui says, earning Manako’s attention.

“You know, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time,” she says, frowning as Tenten begins to consider her back-length tresses.

“Why interrupt good entertainment?”

“Interrupt this—truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

“Take off your underwear and hang it from the light fixture for the rest of the night.”

“Who says I’m wearing underwear?”

“Then your bra. We know you’re wearing one of those, we see the padding.”

“I don’t have padding. All this gloriousness is me,” Karui retorts, cupping her breasts. “And you’re just daring me that because you want to see my tits.”

“Guilty,” Manako agrees.

“Sex and underwear. You’re kind of an unimaginative lot, aren’t you?” Temari wants to know as Karui begins shifting and shimmying her bra out from beneath her sleeveless dress.

“Sex and underwear and impromptu kunai make-overs,” Sakura corrects.

“If I come out of this looking like a porcupine, I’m sending the twins to visit you every day for a month,” Manako vows.

“Oi! Why me? Tenten’s the one cutting your hair!”

“You’re the one who came up with the idea.”

“My turn,” Karui interrupts as she drapes her brassier from the lamp above their table. Across the room, the few patrons still remaining murmur at the scandal. “Temari, truth or dare.”

“Dare,” Temari says.

The former Kumonin takes a few seconds to think about it, and then reaches for her purse to remove a tiny vial.

“This is Killer Wasabi,” she says with a smirk. “The hottest sauce available on the continent.”

“And you just happen to carry it around?” Ino asks.

“It’s not my fault the food in Konoha is so bland.”

“And yet I’ve never seen you refuse any of it.”

“That would be rude,” Karui says, affecting primness before her expression becomes mischievous again. She returns her attention to Temari. “This recipe was created by the first Raikage, and then passed down from teacher to student across the generations. It’s so hot it can make a grown man pass out if consumed in large quantities.” She places the vial on the table. “So that’s what I dare you to do. Take a swig of this straight.”

Temari blinks.

“That’s it?” she deadpans.

“Bii-sensei challenged the Fourth Raikage to take a gulp of it straight from the bottle and the man cried.”

“Shit. He didn’t even cry when he got his arm cut off, I heard,” Manako murmurs.

Temari considers the tiny vial, shrugs, and then upends it into her mouth.

Everyone stares.

“You’re not…you’re not human, are you?” Tenten murmurs.

“Are we sure it’s your brother that was possessed by a demon and not you?” Manako wants to know.

“Not possible,” Karui declares. “That’s just…not possible!”

“I went to the dentist today and can’t feel my tongue,” Temari confesses, earning groans and shouts from the others.

“Cheater!”

“Treachery!”

“You suck.”

“You didn’t ask,” Temari says with a shrug and turns to Tenten. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“Temari!”

“I’m just continuing the trend of inappropriate questions,” the former Sunanin shrugs.

“Fess up, Tenten!” Ino cheers, spilling a bit of sake as she chugs it.

“Personally, I wouldn’t trust any dare Temari comes up with,” Karui says.

“Fine,” Tenten hedges. “I was seventeen.”

“Really?” Ino purrs. “Who was it?”

“I’m not telling,” Tenten says primly.

“Was it Neji?”

“Don’t be insensitive!” Sakura hisses, smacking her.

“Ow! Watch it with the hamfists!”

Tenten is quick to change the subject. “Hinata—truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Hinata murmurs warily, as if not sure which is likely to be the worse choice.

“What was the most embarrassing thing you’ve shouted during sex?”

Hinata squeaks, pressing her flushed face into her hands.

“You’re going to give her a nosebleed,” Karui says.

“She could have chosen dare.”

“Do you actually expect her to answer that?”

Hinata mumbles something into her palms.

“What was that?” Ino asks. “Didn’t quite catch that.”

“‘Cauliflower’,” the Hokage’s wife mutters, only a hair louder but still audible.

Her friends all stare at her for a beat, trying to parse what they just heard, and then—

“EEEHHHH?!?”

“Seriously?!” Ino shrieks.

“What the hell, really?” Manako laughs. “What even…?”

“I was pregnant,” Hinata mumbles. “And craving.”

“Apparently,” Temari drawls.

“How did hubby take that?” Manako asks.

“He…he, um, went to buy some.”

“Actually?” Sakura want to know. “Or do you mean he sent a clone?”

“Um. No, he actually…he got all flustered, and confused,” Hinata admits. “And ran off to the market. He came home with about two dozen of them.”

“Cauliflowerus-interruptus,” Manako shakes her head. “I hope it was good cauliflower.”

“It’s cauliflower,” Tenten drawls. “There’s no way that’s better than sex.”

“Hey, food can be better than sex,” Karui protests. “And not only when you’re pregnant.”

“Well now I know what we should ask you next time you choose truth…”

“Except it’s not your turn to ask.”

All eyes go to Hinata.

“Hinata, ask me something so that I can go next,” Manako orders.

“If you go next, I won’t be the one answering,” Karui promises.

“Um…” Hinata bites her lips, and then nods and asks Manako, “Who was your first love?” she asks.

“Izumi Uchiha,” Manako replies without any hesitation or embarrassment.

“What, really?” Ino asks, eyes wide.

“Did I stutter?”

“That’s…that makes sense actually,” Sakura says. “You told me once that you’d loved an Uchiha, but I thought…I mean, you kind of implied…”

“That it was a guy?”

“Pretty much.”

“Contrary to popular belief, not all Uchiha are men,” Manako replies.

“You wouldn’t know it the way the history books are written,” Sakura mutters.

“Temari! Have I got a dare for you—”

“Truth,” the other woman says instantly. “As if I would be stupid enough to choose one of your dares.”

“I’m wounded. But alright, fine. Let me asks you the most important truth I can think of.”

Temari raises an eyebrow, but her face remains as stolid as ever. “Fine.”

But Manako doesn’t speak. Instead, she holds the tips of her index fingers together and then slowly starts to pull them apart.

For a moment no one knows what she is doing, but as the distance grows between the fingers—three inches, four inches—comprehension dawns on everyone.

“Oh my god!” Sakura sputters, before pressing her hand against her mouth to muffle her laughter.

Temari doesn’t answer or change her expression as Manako continues to move her fingers apart—five inches, six inches—and Hinata squeaks, cheeks filled with so much blood she appears about to faint. Seven inches, eight—

“Okay, now I’m actually getting worried for you,” the older woman says.

“You have no idea,” Temari replies, leaning back with her arms crossed and a satisfied smirk on her face.

“I can’t hear this!” Ino wails. “He’s like…ugh, he’s like my brother and you just…that image! I will never get that image out of my head.”

“Shit,” Karui says. “How are you still walking upright, woman?”

Even Tenten looks impressed.

“Okay, we have to get this out of the way right now, so no one else decides to draw it out over a bunch of Truths,” Ino says. “Over and done with. On a scale of one to ten—”

“On a scale of one to Shikamaru,” Manako sniggers.

Ino shoots her a dirty look. “On a scale of one to ten—”

Sakura interrupts. “The average length is about five inches. It’s beyond the norm to have a penis larger than—”

Hinata yelps in protest, and Karui gives her an unimpressed look. “You’ve had two children and copious amounts of sex, and the word ‘penis’ bothers you?”

“It’s…it’s not a very nice word,” the Hokage’s wife mutters, embarrassed.

“It’s not a very nice-looking body part, but it gets the job done.”

“Especially if you’re Temari, apparently,” Tenten chuckles.

“She’s got a point, though. Sometimes I wish I was only into women, so I didn’t have to look at a penis,” Manako says. “It’s one thing to know it’s there—and hey, I benefit greatly from having a partner that has one—but given the choice…” She seesaws her right hand up and down. “Honestly, I could do without.”

“You’d still be with Kakashi even if he didn’t have a dick?” Karui asks, surprised.

“Of course! You don’t know what that mouth is capable of—”

“Does he even have a mouth?” Sakura wonders.

“—and even if that wasn’t the case? Dildos exist for a reason. Whether you have a dick or not,” Manako decides. The raises an eyebrow at Karui. “Are you saying if Chōji was in an accident tomorrow and lost his balls, you’d stop being with him?”

“What? No! And besides, what accident would that be? He barely even goes out on missions anymore.”

“Actually, there are several ways a man can lose—” Sakura begins.

“I wasn’t actually asking,” Karui rolls her eyes.

“I think we’re all getting wildly off-topic here,” Ino interjects. “Now! On a scale of one to—”

“—Shikamaru,” Manako and Tenten say at the same time, grinning irreverently.

“—where do our guys fall?”

“I think that’s an inaccurate rating system,” Sakura protests. “Size can’t be the only factor.”

“Yeah, what about girth?” Manako wants to know. “It’s all well and good if a guy’s eight inches long, but if his dick’s as thin as a pencil, it’s pretty much useless.”

“And what about stamina? It’s not like it moves on its own,” Karui adds.

“Oh! And proper aim! Or, you know, additional use of fingers. Nothing worse than sex with someone who thinks penetration is the only way to get a woman off,” Tenten adds,

“Gods, this is turning into some kind of quadratic equation,” Ino complains.

“It’s not that hard,” Sakura protests. There are several laughs at that, and she rolls her eyes. “Pun not intended. But anyway, let’s say we have four categories—length, girth, stamina and miscellaneous—”

“What about…” Hinata begins, her voice barely above a whisper, and then she adds, “What about the feelings you have for your partner? That…I’m sure that makes a difference.”

The other women consider, and the nod in agreement.

“Alright, so we have five criteria, so if we put those out of ten, average them out and then assign them a value on the spectrum of one to—”

—Shikamaru,” Karui, Manako and Tenten chorus.

“Stop that!” Ino snaps.

“—then it would be more accurate,” Sakura finishes.

“If you’re still able to do math, you’re not drunk enough,” Temari informs Sakura.

“You have no idea what I’m capable of when I’m drunk,” Sakura retorts. “And besides—I don’t get drunk.”

“Oh, so that wasn’t you Sasuke was carting home from dinner last weekend, slung over his shoulder and staring at his ass?” Ino challenges. “Hm, must have been some other pink haired lush with a mutant forehead.”

They glare at each other.

“9/10,” Sakura says at last. “There’s some stuff Sasuke’s a bit shy about or doesn’t bother with, but everything else makes up for it.”

“9/10 for Sai, too,” Ino agrees.

“You’re just saying that to compete with me.”

“Says you! My husband happens to be an excellent lover.”

“Except when he accidentally says something insulting and ruins the mood, I’m guessing,” Sakura says. “He does it in normal conversation, so I’m pretty sure he’s done it during sex too.”

“Stop thinking about my husband having sex!”

“Can’t think about her husband, can’t think about her not-brother…who can we think about having sex?” Manako wants to know and Tenten sniggers.

“Choji’s an 8,” Karui says, interrupting the argument. “But that’s just because he keeps wanting to bring food into bed. And then one or both of us gets distracted.”

“Ugh!” Ino cries. “Stop telling me things I can’t unhear!”

“Shikamaru’s an 8 too,” Temari says, earning surprised glances. “And only because he falls asleep a lot.”

“Oh, Naruto does that too,” Hinata agrees. “They’re both so busy at work.”

“So Naruto’s also an 8?”

“No. He’s a 10.”

“No way Naruto’s a 10,” Sakura insists.

“Yeah, he’s got to have something wrong with him,” Ino agrees. “ I mean…he’s Naruto.”

“10,” Hinata maintains firmly, and whether it’s out of loyalty or reality, everyone senses it’s better not to ask.

“Well, Kakashi’s an easy 10,” Manako says. “But that’s just because he has more experience than any of your men.”

“Whatever, you old crone.”

“Now that we’ve established all of that,” Temari interrupts, “I believe it was my turn to ask…” She trails off, considering her next victim, and then smirks at Hinata. “Truth or Dare?”

“T-truth.”

“Was your wedding night the first time Naruto saw you naked?” Temari wants to know.

The other women burst into laughter.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Hinata groans.

“You could always choose dare.”

“Which would be…?”

Temari considers, and then nods to herself. “Pick someone in this room and lick their cheek.”

“I volunteer,” Manako says immediately.

“You would,” Sakura mutters.

“You’re full of hair,” Ino points out. “She’d probably get a hairball.”

“That’s cats,” Manako sniffs, shaking her head.

“Stop moving if you don’t want me cutting off an ear,” Tenten warns her.

“It wasn’t.”

The words are so quiet, they almost go unnoticed.

Almost.

“It wasn’t?” Temari repeats, staring intently at Hinata.

“You mean you gave it up before you got married?” Ino blurts out. “Wow, Hinata, I never knew you had it in you—”

“No! That wasn’t—we didn’t—Temari asked about the first time he saw me naked, not when we slept together,” Hinata complains, normally pale skin darkened by a blush and her pale eyes flashing with a hint of temper. “And that night wasn’t the first time. We were out on a mission once when we were chunin and I was meditating by the river and I didn’t have clothes on.”

“And he barged right in?” Sakura supplies. “Pervert.”

“He didn’t know I was there,” Hinata protests.

“Sure he didn’t…”

Hinata folds her arms and frowns. “Ino, truth or dare.”

“Oi! I make one comment and now you’re going to pick on me?”

Hinata raises an eyebrow.

“Truth,” Ino says, not quite trusting the usually innocent Hinata; it’s always the quiet ones that are the most dangerous, after all.

The Hokage’s wife ponders, and then a truly uncanny smile appears on her face, one that would look more at home on Naruto than her. “I heard somewhere that you perfected the Yamanaka technique of switching souls within bodies. So have you ever—I mean, on purpose—switched with Sai…you know…during?”

Ino’s jaw drops.

As does everyone else’s.

Sakura is the first to speak. “Well, I never would have saw that one coming.”

She almost sounds impressed.

“You have a dirty, dirty mind,” Manako says. “Good for you.”

“I think you broke Ino,” Temari points out, and everyone glances at the other blond woman who looks as if her brain has short-circuited.

“I think that’s a yes,” Sakura says, eyes gleaming with mischief. “She only over looks like that when she’s been caught out.”

“No way,” Karui says in awe. “So you’ve actually—?”

Ino snaps out of. “You’re all being ridiculous.”

“That’s not a no.”

“Stop it!”

“That’s a yes!”

“No it’s not!”

“So you actually know what it’s like to have sex as a guy?” Manako wants to know. “This I have to hear.”

“No, I don’t—stop putting words in my mouth! Truth! I choose a penalty truth!”

“Well-played,” Temari informs Hinata, who smiles sheepishly, before asking Ino, “If you could sleep with any of the Kage, past or present, who would you choose?”

“Nice one,” Sakura approves.

Ino thinks about it, and then says, “Kurutsuchi.”

Everyone gasps at that.

“Seriously?” Manako asks.

“Did I stutter?” Ino shoots back, echoing her words back.

“I thought you were completely straight,” Tenten says, surprised.

“I am. But given the fact that everyone else is or was either ugly, old, creepy or evil, I stand by my choice. Especially since Hinata said sleep and didn’t necessarily say have sex with.”

“Boo,” Sakura accuses. “You’re not supposed to logic your way out of an embarrassing truth. In fact, you’re not supposed to be sober enough to logic your way out of an embarrassing truth.”

“I’m just that good,” Ino sniffs.

“In your own mind, maybe…”

“Shut up. No, wait. Don’t shut up. Truth or dare?”

“Didn’t you already ask her?” Karui wants to know.

“Shh! It’s bound to be a good one,” Manako interrupts her. By now, her hair has been chopped off into an uneven, bristly pixie cut, and Tenten is grumbling as she pushes long locks of hair off of herself.

“I hope the manager of this place doesn’t mind cleaning this up,” she mutters to herself. “Maybe I can give him a discount at my store or something…”

“Okay, okay, I’ve got one, I’ve got one,” Ino interrupts, waving her hands to make everyone else shut up. “Okay—Sakura. Imagine you get Sasuke to agree to have a threesome with you and another guy—"

“Tch! Sure, in a parallel universe,” Sakura snorts, and then pauses, blinking. “On second thought, having met the Sasuke from a parallel universe, I think he might actually be into that sort of thing.”

“Wow,” Temari says with a blink. “I don’t know whether that’s hot or disturbing.”

“Hot,” Tenten decides.

“Disturbing,” Karui says at the same time.

“Both?” Hinata suggests tentatively.

“Both,” Manako says with a definitive note in her voice.

“All of you shut up, I haven’t finished my question!” Ino snaps, and the other women glance back at her. She renews her grin at Sakura. “So—say you get Sasuke to agree to a threesome with another guy, but it has to be a guy from your genin squad—”

“Ino!”

“—who would it be?”

“That’s not fair!” Sakura protests. “Three of them are married—”

“Kakashi and I aren’t married, we’re living in sin,” Manako interjects.

“—to people sitting in this room!”

“Well, fine, if you’re going to whine about it—for the purposes of this truth we can include members of your chūnin squad, too.”

“That’s no different!”

“If you don’t tell the truth, you have to do the dare,” Ino sing-songs.

Cheeks burning and expression mutinous, Sakura spends a few seconds considering the lesser of two evils, and then sighs. “Fine. Kakashi.”

There’s a burst of uproarious laughter and squealing.

“No way!” Ino protests. “He’s so old!”

“He’s not old, he’s experienced,” Manako corrects with would-be-haughtiness. “And a girl could do worse.”

“It has nothing to do with that!” Sakura cries and goes, if possible, even more red. “It’s the choice that makes the most sense! If it were Naruto, he and Sasuke would forget all about me and start some ridiculous competition—probably measuring their dicks or something—”

Everyone laughs, and even red-faced and perpetually embarrassed Hinata cocks her head to one side as if to say, ‘fair point’.

“—and that would end in a fist-fight. Then there’s Sai, who would have a comment for everything, and Sasuke would take it as criticism, and that would end in a fistfight,” she goes on, ticking options off her fingers while Temari snorts and takes another sip of sake.

“—and Yamato-taichou would be so unbelievable uncomfortable he would pass out—”

“Also, didn’t Sasuke stab him once?” Temari wants to know.

“—yeah, exactly! I doubt he’d want to get it on with the guy who stabbed him.”

“I don’t know if that would make a difference. Sasuke’s stabbed Naruto half a dozen times, and Naruto would probably still be down to fu—”

“Manako, if you finish that sentence, I will slip cocoa into your food and watch you asphyxiate to death in front of me,” Sakura vows, glancing over Hinata with the urge to press her hands over the other woman’s ears.

“Doesn’t setting off a severe enough allergic reaction that is causes anaphylactic shock violate the Medic-Nin’s Oath?” Manako challenges, and then makes a face. “Huh. Say that ten times fast.”

“There are loopholes,” Sakura replies primly.

“Sure there are…”

“Why are we focusing on Sakura becoming a murderer, and not on the fact that she wants to bone her former jōnin instructor?” Karui wants to know.

“I never said I wanted to bone him! It was Truth or Dare question!”

“Hmph. I personally would have gone with the Dare…”

“I don’t know,” Ino muses slowly. “I guess it could be interesting. I mean, he does read those books all the time.” She shoots Manako a questioning look. “Or does that not carry over?”

The older woman grins wolfishly. “Oh, it does. It really, really does.”

“La-la-la, I can’t hear you,” Sakura sings. Forget putting her hands over Hinata’s ears, she’s clapped them so hard to her head that she feels a bit of suction between palm and ear.

A sudden explosion rips through the air, sending a shockwave through the entire restaurant; it’s strong enough to knock Karui’s brassier from the lamp fixture. Outside, violent purple and fiery orange light up the night, behind the ruins of the Hokage tower.

“I guess that’s our cue,” Sakura sighs, getting up.

“Husband wrangling time,” Ino agrees.

“Who’s getting the bill?” Karui wants to know.

Everyone exchanges glances, and quickly stick their forefingers on their nose, except for Manako, who’s investigating her shorn hair. Noticing them all, she groans.

“Oh, that’s nice. Pick on the girl without super ninja reflexes.”

終わり

________________________________________________________________

So, there you go. It’s complete and utter crack, and totally just written for the sake of dialogue more than anything else. And all the sex info you never knew you wanted to know :P

Hope you guys had a bit of a laugh!

(Also, it occurs to me that Manako is the Naruto’verse equivalent of Captain Jack Harkness…)

I want to know what you think of my story! Leave kudos, a comment or if writing comments isn’t something you’re comfortable with, as many of these (or other emojis) as you want and let me know how you feel!

❤️️ = I love this story! 😳 = this was hot! 💐 = thank you for sharing this 🍵 = tea spilled 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy! 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good! 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER 😢 = you got me right in the feels 🤯mind blown 🤬god damn cliffhanger 😫 whyyyyyyy?!?!?

栗

#naruto fanfiction #kunoichi #sakura uchiha #ino yamanaka #hinata uzumaki #karui akimichi #temari nara #manako inuzuka #humor #sex humor #sex positive #there is no such thing as privacy #sexy wives of konoha #crack #like seriously #total crack #poor judgement 'verse

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