#I think speaks more about me than Merrill lmao

[dragonagepolls]

#merrill!!#no one believes her or wants to admit that she is but that doesnt make it false#she is one of the most sensible and levelheaded people in this entire game. yeah she's traumatized like the rest of them#but shes coping pretty well ans channeling it into her research and care for her people despite all that she's lost (via @sweetmage)

#was soooo torn btwn isabela and merrill#ended up voting isabela but it was just by a hair#like ofc they both have their issues. all of them do.#but both of them seem to have come to terms with those issues a lot more#merrill is at her lowest depressed and somewhat withdrawn#understandably so!#while isabela has more or less ditched her problems#(ineffectively ofc)#but both are quite centered in who they are and don't make apologies for the way they are#stability is an interesting metric that i'm taking too seriously lmao#merrill is dealing openly with more and is prob emotionally healthier than isabela (via @broodwolf221)

[fenrisisms]

Hiiii bestie <3 i would like to know 2 (can u believe i dont know this one for sure already??) 6, 8, 15 and 19 for that DAV ask game <3

okay fake me fan 🤨🤨

2. which dragon age game is your favourite so far?

its probably da2 at the moment... origins is my bestie forever and ever and ever but replaying da2 is just so fun. the combat is sexy (EXCEPT THE ARISHOK FIGHT AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A MAGE) the story is sexy red hawke is sexy etc. while i don't think it's the best in terms of narrative (origins outsold forever, again) it IS the most fun for me to play again and again because the narrative still SLAPS and my favourite guys (merrill and fenris) are there

6. do you have your rooks planned out to some degree?

mf i am in your dms about this every day. yes and no. i have some vague concepts (veiljumpers i am in your walls) but i know myself and it does not matter how much i plan it out i will get in that character creator for the first time, black out and end up with whatever most speaks to me at the moment, and THEN i will be able to start thinking about rooks for the rest of my worldstate. i think worldstate codeword noble should have a human rook to keep the bit going. we'll see.

8. what faction are you most excited to learn more about?

VEILJUMPERS I AM IN YOUR WALLS !!! also as a d&d barbarian #stan i am making eyes at the lords of fortune but the veiljumpers are you KIDDING ME. i want to know everything there is to know about them yesterday <3

15. do you have any unpopular opinions about da:v so far?

uhhh well when the trailer dropped my unpopular opinion was that i actually like the more stylized art but i feel like public opinion on that has really swung around since the gameplay reveal? i have others but i also have self preservation and i simply do not want to be executed for [redacted] crimes so i will keep them to myself. but an actual unpopular opinion is i do not want to see fenris in that damn game no matter how hot he would be in the new style because i live in fear of someone actually making that fuckass david gaider "fenris would be team solas" tweet a reality. he would not fucking say that.

19. are you planning to replay any other games or read/watch any other material?

i have no solid plans lmao i go where the wind takes me... i might try and read tevinter nights before the game comes out since it seems pretty pertinent to the content and i like to Know things first hand but i am also gonna be pretty busy between now and a potential release so i make no promises.

thank you for the questions my littlest meow meow i love you <3

ask me questions about da:v

[rivilu]

Watched absolution because I saw a certain spoiler and was intrigued, loooonggg post of spoilers and thoughts under the cut

Are we are really surprised the supercop zealot is bioware's canon divine? lmao.

I generally liked the cast of characters quite a lot, Roland Lacklon and Qwydion most of all, Miriam is cool too, just not top spot for me. she's like. Number 4 on my list. Of surviving characters that is.

Rip Fairbanks. Made the rookie Ser Jory mistake of mentioning his loving wife more than once within the intro of the series. You will be missed.

The writers really said make them think we will finally switch up the Mage Is Always The 'Traitor' reveals (that aren't even true for games 1 and 2 but the joke is marketable so who cares for accuracy right) but then just do the same thing again. I have a feeling they think they are playing 4d chess when really it's just predictable.

The action was well executed and I liked the romance with Roland and Lacklon, it was cute :)

The show handled Tevinter better than I expected but my expectations were subterranean so that doesn't mean much.

Still don't care for the way bioware deals with blood magic. With Dorian we finally had a smart opinion on it [that the writers didn't try to stamp out or treat as stupid, sorry Merrill]- that it's simply a tool as long as there's no victims, but here we backpedal again into the narrative going 'anyone that even THINKS of blood magic is and always will be evil full stop'. Yes we're talking about a Magister here i'm not defending Rezaren in specific I'm just weary of how they'll treat it going forward.

Speaking of the guy, he was fine as a villain. pretty decent portrayal of a guy whose position of power deludes him into thinking his goal is noble and righteous no matter what, even to the detriment of the people he's supposedly trying to help, because well. He never saw them as people in the first place. 'Family' maybe, whatever that's supposed to mean to him, but still property. Things he gets to do whatever he wants to do with.

Miriam using his harrowing as an example of a moment he chose not to defend her or her brother though, is kinda meh. Bc girl, he was actively trying and failing not to get possessed, his mother's the one to blame for that specific instance and you KNOW it, I know we had to see that scene for exposition but i'm peeved jdshfjd I bet there were maaany more backstory examples of him being shit to choose from anyhow.

There was an Attempt at moral grayness at least two times in the show, with Tassia and Hira, and they are both... interesting.

Tassia imo does it better, as as the knight commander she can be safely [and firmly] put in the villain box, but the added levels of grey with her caring for her people's safety, opposing the venatori etc make her interesting to watch in a way where I may not be rooting for her but I don't want her to die either, yanno? She's a bit like if Aveline were an anti-villain, and actually decently well written at that. She gets spot 5 of my list.

Now Hira. Is a prisoner of that good ol Mage Betrayal Russian Roulette. I'd seen a small spoiler about her being up to no good before watching, but even without that, when Fairbanks stabbed her I could just SNIFF that red herring. Again, the writers may think they're playing 4d chess but I know not making a mage (or more) the villain, is to them what apples are to doctors. Then her motivation is just. Not convincing to me. Her family was influential tevinters that wanted to improve conditions for the oppressed, then they were killed and/or ran out the country by the venatori for it. so... she jumps right to ethnic cleansing as the solution?

(And I do mean right to it. She did go to the inquisition first but that's what she wanted to get out of it.)

Collateral damage is a funny way of referring to innocent people's lives queen!

Idk something about that feels familiar. Betrayal, a mage that jumps to genocide, yet said mage is somehow granted more lenience by the narrative than that stance should EVER allow? Because here's the thing. no matter HOW fucked a country is, how terrible the politics and power structures are, 'wiping the country out' IS NEVER A MORALLY GREY THING. IT'S AS BLACK AS IT GETS. it is the power structure itself that must be targeted. (you know, the thing Anders tried to do and gets eternally condemned for?) Wanting to massacre an entire population is not an opinion that's up for discussion, it is not worthy of redemption, and it should not be written as if it is. This pattern of character writing is just. Concerning to me. Some of the characters with the most morally bankrupt stances being passed off as grey. And I could get far deeper into it here, nearly did in fact, but It's a tad too late in the night for a 5 page essay on fantasy and real world politics intersection. I'll just leave it at ''bioware's centrism is doing what centrism does best and blinding them to their world's actual political power dynamics and I think it's going to bite them in the ass sooner or later''

But enough of that, let's try to get back to something funny shall we?

The cheese jokes. Bioware please, the horse, stop, stop it's already dead!

(i dont actually mind but that was my original reaction so here you go sdfhjs)

Dragon cool. Like that it stays alive.

ok, sorry that's all I got. We have to tackle the elephant in the room now folks and i'm afraid I am not optimistic.

So. Meredith motherfucking Stannard is still alive and kicking. And while I can completely understand why people are excited, AN ACTUALLY GOOD VILLAIN IS BACK, WOOHOO! -i just can't help but think. When? When will this plot thread be handled? Because as much as I wish the titular character of dreadwolf would drop dead by act one, I highly, highly doubt it hjsdfjf. And if she can't be the main villain, or at least what Howe was to Loghain, then I don't want her to be in da4. Because that game has SO MUCH SHIT to tackle, with Elven Gods and Titans, the egg and also Antiva and the Qunari now for some fucking reason? Frankly I don't think they can even do THIS sum of things justice in a single game, unless things with the gods take a different turn and they aren't what solas said/villains for us to fight (please I hate the slavery thing so fucking much just for once retcon something to the benefit of religious minorities bioware i'm fucking BEGGING) so adding Meredith to the mix is not something I can picture working out. I don't want to get excited for her to be back (She was the spoiler that got me to watch the series) only to have it be a repeat of the templar/mage war in inq where she's lukewarmly taken out by act 1.

Also before I do an all in all, we all got that Hira is getting Played right. Like I dont like her much(at all), as stated previously, but she's still a mage. working for Meredith motherfucking Stannard. Is it too early to call her eventually dying from that dumbass decision orrr..? Because yes girly, she also wants to genocide your home country, but she has VERY different reasons from you and you're almost guaranteed to be first on the chopping block the moment the red lyrium cracks. (i dont find this bullet point bad writing btw this is just razzing the characters for fun jhsdj)

ok so all in all. the show's alright. I highlighted more of the bad than the good here because anything past da2 has that effect on me sadly, but the characters do Carry as per usual. And i'd say it's worth a watch for the action shots alone. Some of my fears of Bioware's direction were confirmed, and i am still not at all enthused about da4, but if a season two comes out I'll probably watch it. unnecessarily long post over, adiós.

[vigilskeep]

while a lot of anders’ resistance to blood magic is due to chantry propaganda, the main problem he seems to have with it in da2 is the association with demons (when he first talks to merrill about it, he mostly seems to just care that she’s not interacting with demons, and his later banters focus on that aspect too i think), which feels more of a justice thing, though not solely. i think the hard-line stance against it has more to do with justice and anders being combined than anything, so i could see anders in awakening being convinced to do blood magic.

i think you could probably convince justice in awakening it’s not too bad too as long as you emphasized that you’re no longer contacting a demon to do it—he mentions attempting to trade with a demon before and you can convince him to not hate you about siding with the architect. this isn’t me arguing or anything i just have a lot of thoughts, just saying things recreationally, you know. i usually give him the shapeshifter specialization as his secondary, with arcane warrior for velanna

yeah i agree! anders’ main aversions to blood magic in da2, aside from the circle background that filters into his thinking, seem to be twofold; that it involves working with demons, and that “there is no better way to ensure we will never be free”. for the former, anders has a very clear line on demons in da2, partly because of justice’s dislike and also—this is how i account for even justice having a softer stance in awakening—partly because he’s absolutely desperate to believe right now that there is a clear line on what a demon is or isn’t. as for the latter, he’s committed in da2 to improving things for all mages and gets frustrated with those letting the side down so to speak, which wasn’t really a concern of his before he got convinced something could be done abt the rights of all mages

which is not to say anders never had an aversion to blood magic before justice. he’s a circle mage and, you know, notably, guy who didn’t turn to demons even when locked in solitary confinement for a year, and who expresses a lot of frustration and hurt that no matter what a mage does there’s nothing he can do to prove himself and the templars will never believe him. but he’s also the guy who suggests making a deal with an evil blood mage turned demon, the very same one justice is fighting when you meet him, which btw is literally my favourite thing ever it’s so crunchy. ironically it’s because anders is afraid of her and of being trapped in the fade. gee what could have caused that. maybe traumatising mages with the harrowing has negative effects. who could have predicted this.

personally i give anders battle mage and shapeshifter bc um for the former i want him to have a shared spec w my warden and that’s the one of hers she’d teach him, and for the latter i just think it would make him happy lmao for the freedom and shenanigans it offers. i’m also interested by the idea of him not having it in da2 anymore as an unforeseen side effect of joining with justice; i think the mindset morrigan describes would be harder for them then and that justice struggles to navigate one mortal form as it is

[greenteabtch]

your characterizations of sebastian are so interesting and got me thinking! how does meeting helena impact seb? does he go through some kind of development in his relationship to the chantry over their years? what point in terms of self-image would you love for him to get to?

Hi Gabi!! Thank you for asking :) you’re about to enter the #Deep Sebastian Lore. 

So before I begin to tackle this, I feel like it’s important to acknowledge that there are many different interpretations of Seb’s character. I consider him a lot more malleable in final interpretation than a lot of the da2 companions because his Rivalry and Friendship route actually results in two very different outcomes with regards to primary characterization. (Other characters like Merrill also have this, but I personally don’t consider a rivalry route with her or Isabela to be healthy or done well in any valid manner of speaking so I do not see it I am looking away.)

As a quick sum, Sebastian’s Friendship path commits him further to the chantry and quells his disagreement and conflict with his role as a brother, thus making him more complacent, while his Rivalry path spurs him to reclaim Starkhaven by encouraging him to give in to his dissent and impulses, eventually making him more headstrong.

Both of these are valid because each character trait that gets emphasized, depending on the path, all make up the whole of Sebastian as he is. He is compassionate, pious, and faithful, but also rash, stubborn, and witty. 

This is all set up to say that in my personal canon, I follow the rivalry path because it aligns the best with my personal experiences and identity, as well as (in my opinion) encourages Sebastian to fulfill his wants best. Unlike other rivalry paths, it is able to encourage growth and development in a manner that isn’t harsh and abusive, as it targets his ideas and ideology taught to him rather than his personality or integral core as a person. I like that it inspires him to question the chantry as an institution while maintaining his faith in a personal way.

In addition to that, (cw for mentions of neglect and abuse) the rivalry path allows him to take his faith, and his expression of that, into his own hands. From a young age, The Vaels believed that their youngest son of three, Sebastian, was a disgrace to the family name, and would be a weight around his brothers' necks. According to the wiki, Sebastian had always had faith but it was not his will to enter the chantry. His short story implicates how drastic the situation was for him, as he describes the Chantry as a prison, his room as a cell, the guard as his jailor, and even more, but notes how he is still wont to pray to Andraste for his safe escape. Even so, when he is given the “opportunity” (It doesn’t feel like a true opportunity, as I read it, but I digress) to leave, he is trapped, stuck by his parents’ descriptions of himself and what he will be if he chooses to leave. “Words race through my head: useless, aimless, selfish, alone.”

Because of this, I don’t truly believe that it is necessary for him to recommit his vows of chastity, poverty, or any others as a brother in order to stay true to his faith or his character. Traumatized by his parent’s neglect for him as the son “left in the cold,” for they already had the “heir and the spare”, Sebastian was forced to accept his position as one that would never be of value to his parents, purely because of his order of birth. He was resigned to be worthless (which, I honestly think was the reason he acted out so heavily as a youth), till his parents gave him an out by committing himself to the Chantry. As a result, I connect the friendship path of staying as a brother as one that is not the kindest (as it may appear), but the one that is the most affirming of his worst fears for himself. That he, his desires, wants, dreams, and choices, are worth nothing unless he resigns himself to a life of piety and service. In sum, there are many ways to keep that faith the way he had always had it without giving up the excitement of life and love he clearly thrives in by recommitting him to the Chantry.

Personal Canon: I believe that Helena immediately presents herself as an aloof and standoffish force for Sebastian, though one that does not deter him, but challenges him. He certainly has no trouble befriending any companion (except for Varric, but that’s more about his insecurities than Sebastian’s lmao), and Helena is no different. More than just his general disposition to making friends, though, he has a curiosity about her. Because she works directly and has no qualms about violence as a tool to aid others, he sees an inkling of his desires or questions about himself in her and she encourages that further just by her actions. Other than the attraction things (they both like to cook, they both think the other is hot, they have similar family situations, they’re both secretly compe-- ok i’ll stop) he has a vested interest in listening to her disagree with him because she is a part of a new perspective that he has never considered, nor ever been given the option to.

For my custom rivalry path, Helena expresses consistent disagreement with how Seb has been treated, both by Elthina and by his parents, and encourages him to make the choice that he wants, not what the chantry wants or what his family wanted. 

Throughout the acts, Helena allows him to vent his contentions with his role to her, usually over food as they watch the sunset outside the Chantry. For Helena, things run very simply, not exactly black and white, but in a manner where she knows exactly which group of grays each action lies in. I think this simplicity is helpful in getting Sebastian to confront his past. For example:

“My parents thought I was a disgrace to the family, so they forced me into the Chantry to make something of myself.”

Helena looks at him with wild and confused eyes. “They didn’t like how you acted so they imprisoned you? Didn’t they care for you?”

“Well… Yes, but it wasn’t as if I was a good son.”

“You were a son. That should have been enough for them.”

Additionally, her own complex relationship with Leandra allows her to identify the abusive behaviors of his parents and the manipulative actions of Elthina later. This pattern of confrontation and disagreement between them continues until Act 3, and along the while, Sebastian’s dissatisfaction with the role of the Chantry wedges him farther away from his possible recommitment. By the end, he is able to recognize that he has worth as a human being regardless of whatever choice he makes and that he doesn’t have to sacrifice his life as Andraste did in order to be considered deserving. 

It’s at that point that he solidifies his choice to retake Starkhaven, with the hopes of bringing Helena along if she’ll have him, and sticks it to his past controllers and manipulators by doing what he knows he can do better than anyone.

In terms of his self-image, I think Sebastian simply deserves to know he has worth regardless of whether or not he is the epitome of good service and faith. I want him to be able to be “selfish” and acknowledge his wants as not things that are impure and lower his value, but a part of what makes him a human being, and one that makes him a good one too. Because of his wants and desires, he retakes Starkhaven, which is ultimately the best choice for the people there because his contender for the throne doesn’t know the first thing about ruling a city-state. Sebastian, at his best, will acknowledge his desires with temperance and balance, such that is accomplished by his faith. When all is said and done, Sebastian will only be complete when he can find faith and life through his embrace of self.

[americankimchi]

for the fandom ask: critical role! (or dragon age if thats taken lol)

the first character i ever fell in love with: alistair theirin!!! baby boy. BABEY.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: anders rip what they did to him in dragon age 2..... awakening anders i care u

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: every single ship in the game is like your oc/npc aint it??? aside from one or two in inquisition....... oh i know one: canon handers. fandom handers is great though

my ultimate favorite character™: i can and would die for zevran “insufficient skill” arainai

prettiest character: i’m trying to think of who this would be. it’s a tie between josephine and zevran. dorian and morrigan are close seconds however

my most hated character:

me @ solas whenever dragon age 4 finally drops

my OTP: warden/zevran :’)

my NOTP: do not speak to me about solavellan i simply will not engage. same goes for cullenquisitor.

favorite episode: origins is so fucking good but honestly i have so much more playtime in inquisition and it’s solely because i can jump in it. the second they remaster origins it’s over for you hoes

saddest death: yours in origin lolol. oh and i guess duncan’s?? everyone else’s death happens bc you let them die so that’s less sad and more unfortunate

favorite season: i have no idea how to answer this as dragon age is a game and not a show.... so i guess i’ll answer this as if i’m talking about a dlc??? so mark of the assassin in da2 was pretty fun. awakening was a WHOLE ASS GAME like honestly who did it like origins...... who could ever MATCH

least favorite season: remember when they made you bUY THE ACTUAL CANON ENDING TO A GAME THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO ALREADY HAVE BEEN FINISHED LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO PAY TO SEE THE ENDING OF INQUISITION WHY THE FUCK WAS THE LEAD IN TO THE NEXT GAME BEHIND A PAYWALL @ EA AND BIOWARE I HAVE SOME FUCKING QUESTIONS

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: y’all already know about solas but like. cullen lmao.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: idk man loghain i guess. not so much as a fave but more as an interesting character

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: merrill.... baby ):

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: like i said most of the ships in fandom are your oc/in game npc so idk about this one. i don’t really like anything that’s not that so??????

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: umm..... blackwall/josephine??????? ghfjkdgh i dunno

[lavellander]

more bc i am unstoppable now

I Am Thinking About My DA Protagonists’ Taste In Romantic Partners both their “usual” type and why they’re drawn to their canon love interest (and the hypothetical ones from other games). i expect no one to give a shit abt this except me lsdfjd but im on a roll and its a good exercise or whatever. i’m sure i’ll use it eventually?????

once again. i know no one gives a fuck but if anyone DOES happen to want to torture themselves and read this pls know all my ocs are bi except zaniyah, who is a lesbian<3

sarenan: 

general disclaimer that “in the circle love is just a game” etc etc etc so while she definitely is more inclined to romantic relationships, she only really had friends w benefits at most

she likes smart people! she likes fun people, she likes people who can get on board with her fucked up sense of humor. she’s witty and charming and loves to flirt just to flirt, and in the circle that wasn’t much of an issue lol. leliana is the first person she ever feels like...foot-in-mouth around, bc suddenly she likes and is attracted to someone and...that’s allowed? it’s all very foreign to her but she falls Real Hard, Real Fast

in a hypothetical da2 romance obviously isabela is extremely hot but also sarenan canonically has a foursome w her, leli, and zev so dLFKKDS it makes sense that bela’s the love interest of choice<3 (but also i think it would be like...friends-to-friends with benefits-to-lovers lol)

in a hypothetical dai romance once again josie is very hot and also so sweet and cute and delightful !!!!! idk if its just me but i see similarities bw origins leli and josie so again it just makes sense to me that josie is the LI for an inq romance :’)

(BUT for the most part. it is pretty hard for me to imagine sarenan w anyone but leli, bc they are the only couple i have that like. makes sense. lmfao)

maeve: 

actually doesnt often have romantic relationships? she has ~flings~ and rarely catches feelings. she describes her type as “anyone sexy” 

(her and isabela do in fact have a brief Thing but strictly no strings attached; this is bc i was very very adamant about romancing isabela when i played da2 and then anders fucking SNIPED me. so i incorporated it into canon i guess. lmao)

her attraction to anders is originally just “sexy tortured man” and then “sexy tortured man that gives free healthcare to poor people!!!!” and then - after it’s clear it won’t be a fwb situation - she realizes she has Actual feelings for him and is like well. its been a good run. guess i’ll die! until he reciprocates dflksdjf then they are kirkwall’s weirdest couple to everyone except themselves :’)

in a hypothetical dao romance her and zev would be classic fuckbuddies who accidentally start having a crush on each other, absolutely refuse to acknowledge it, then someone else in the friend group is like “oh my god PLEASE just kiss we are all going insane watching yall do this” <3

in a hypothetical dai romance im still torn bw sera and bull. maeve would just keep hitting on sera until sera did something about it; bull would be similar to zevran in the fuckbuddies-accidentally-caught-feelings dynamic

alani:

i feel like (depending on the size of the clan etc) alani was prob mostly involved w people she’d known almost all her life. she’s obviously attracted to other ppl who like to learn and stuff, but other than that it’s equal opportunity crushes ykwim. she doesn’t even Know she has a thing about people who are like. puzzles to be solved until solas lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d be drawn to alistair bc...who wouldnt be. hes adorable. they’re both warm friendly charming sunshines and i think it’d be natural for them to be drawn to one another. once she realizes he has Baggage she’s like oh. OH. i have to defend you against the world now

in a hypothetical da2 romance i thiiink it would be kinda similar to solas. like oh this bitch has a lot of emotional walls up, he’s got some real shit going on. I Like That. also mage rights, hes a sad sexy doctor, we love a revolutionary, etc. it makes sense imo

zaniyah:

similar to maeve i think she’s more of a fling person than a relationship person, but she has had a couple gfs. she’s not very comfy being super serious but she’s a good gf and is very devoted. generally speaking i think she just likes Hot Ladies but is esp drawn to quirky / weird ppl lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d like morrigan bc 1) she’s hot and 2) she’s standoffish lol. she’d take it upon herself to get morrigan to like her as like, a personal triumph, but then along the way realize she has a real crush on her and be like shit? fuck? (the same goes for morg. it would be an oh shit oh fuck moment on both ends)

in a hypothetical da2 romance i think her and merrill would be more like friends to lovers :’) zaniyahs immediately like “youre weird. i like you” also they bond bc dalish etc, and over time she starts liking her more and more. eventually zaniyah just cant take it anymore and kisses merrill, apologizes profusely, etc, and merrill’s like “oh. i thought we were dating?” sldkfjsLDKFJds i care them

(josie is kind of an outlier bc she’s so graceful, collected, knows what to do/say always, etc. i dont believe in love at first sight but if i did thats what zaniyah and josie would be<333)

ranae:

she doesnt like. have a type really. because she’s just been in love w her childhood best friend since forever and doesnt think of what she might like in other ppl bc well. he’s right there? she assumes they’ll be together forever, even if only platonically :( 

when she meets morrigan she’s like oh i like women too apparently. cool?? when she meets alistair shes a little put off by the fact that hes a golden retriever, then clings to him bc Trauma, then VERY begrudgingly realizes she has a crush on him but feels like shes betraying tamlen 

eventually she comes to terms w the fact that like. theres nothing she can do about tamlen unfortunately, and alistair is here and Loves Her and he’s been the only person to make her truly happy in a very long time. it takes a lot for her to think she deserves that, but she does, and the rest is history :’)

in a hypothetical da2 romance it makes perfect sense to me that she’d latch onto the other Elf Who Is Full Of Rage immediately. they are both very intense and it can put other people off sometimes but they dont really care! die mad about it, shem! etc

in a hypothetical dai romance she’d be drawn (platonically) to blackwall bc grey warden stuff, but subconsciously they both kind of feel like frauds, like they dont deserve happiness, etc; theyre both kinda brusque, at least at first, too. she just kinda sees him as a buddy til she watches him bonding w sera or with some kids or something and then shes like  😳 😳 😳 and then angry that shes like that lmao

[breachy-breeches-creation]

Drabble [Check-ups]

The sound of wooden door creaks open wide, followed by the clunking of the glass bottles as the box is settled on the floor "I brought you supplies, Anders" 

"Just leave it there" The blonde mage was just finished healing the last of his patients and looks up towards the voice, " I'll take care of it later, thank you--Oh Hawke! you don't have to."

"Don't worry about it" The woman with honey locks smiled " I just happened to bump into Lirene at the market. The poor lady, there seem to be not enough helpers so she has to run the errands herself. I was already on my way here looking for you so I decided to lend a hand."  

"Looking for me? Is there something you need?"

"Don't be silly, can't I check on a friend? Oh! I also brought some tea that Merril gave me a couple of days ago." Hawke holds up a small plain pouch. 

"I...um, thank you, Hawke"

"No no, thank you! Last time was a bit of a clutch, isn't it? I never doubt my brother's skills in battle, but sometimes his overconfidence and stubbornness can get to his head and didn't check his surroundings."

"That's what I'm there for" the healer grinned at Hawke, and earned a giggle in return.

"I had a friend like you once. Got in all kinds of trouble, dragged me along. Didn't think I'd be doing that again" Anders remembered Warden-Commander Cousland fondly back then, or perhaps she should be referred to as "Her Majesty" since she's also the Queen of Ferelden. Strange how that works; Young, passionate, gracious, fiercely loyal, 'and righteous', his spirit friend hums in the back of his head.  "I got a bit weighty the last time we talked. Sorry for putting that on you" "You'd be surprised how people just tell me their darkest secret. I must look trustworthy" she shrugged. 

"You look...something. True, Proud. Like even if you don't agree with me, you'll be honest. I just...I hope I didn't seem too selfish when I told you about Justice.” the mage rubbed his hand behind his neck “I didn't know what would happen. I figured a willing host, a friend...it had to be better than playing the demon and haunting some corpse" Furrowed brows knitted together, Anders couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for dumping this sort of information on her. 

Hawke tilted her head in a thoughtful manner, "We can't always predict the outcomes of our actions, We can only make them with a true heart." a knowing nod and a reassuring pat on the arm.

Anders never expected such gentle, warm, and most of all, understanding response, his heart blossom a little. "Kind, wise and beautiful. You must have made a deal with some demons, yourself" as soon as the words left his mouth Anders find himself in a blushing mess, scratching his own cheeks sheepishly.  " I'm sorry, I shouldn't presume. I just... we've hardly met and I feel like I know you...Am I making you uncomfortable?" 

Hawke blinked several times with a face of astonishment. 'Well done, Anders, well done. You have just stab yourself in the foot' Anders thought to himself. 

But then, she laughed ” Doesn’t mean I want you to stop” such crisp voice lightens the mage’s heart once more. 

“I’ll keep that in mind”

  "Growing up in the Circle, everything is about order and rules and the Templars." Anders huffed. He doesn't know why he is telling Hawke such intimate things and yet admittedly, there's an air about this woman in front of him that for whatever reason that made this usually anxious and overworked healer relax and trust her somehow. The words just come out so naturally  "The apprentices, we found ways to make that bearable. Karl and I, he was the first. We could forget that out in the world, we are nothing but the Templars' slave. We hadn't been together for a long time, but still, it hurts." 

"I'm sorry to hear that." 

"It's the bloody Templars!" Anders curls his fingers into a fist in frustration. "They don't see us as people. They don't care that Karl was someone's son, someone's lover." He can feel his rage intertwined with Justice...or perhaps it is 'Vengeance' now, boiling underneath the skin, biting every word as he speaks.  "If you are born with magic, they hear about it. They search your little rat bit village and find you. They tell your parents they'll be thrown in prison if they ever ask about you, stripped of their rights in the eyes of the Maker. And if you run away, they hunt you down, again and again, and ..." 

But then the mage noticed pools of water had gathered around the pair of stormy blue, glistening like crystals. The next moment, streamed down her rosy cheeks. Just like that, extinguishing any hint of anger within him. 

"You are....crying" Anders speaks softly. It warms and breaks his heart at the same time.

"Oh, I...I didn't notice haha" Hawke quickly wiping away the tears with the back of her hand. "I just…I can tell that Karl was more than just a friend when you have to… ‘give him peace’ ” she sighed, ”No one should have to go through that. I’m sorry."

“No, thank you. Hawke” for lamenting for a stranger.

Hawke’s expression was quickly replaced with a beaming smile, like a sun that appears from behind the clouds. “Well, would you like some tea?”

“Ah yes, sure. I suppose I could take a break. I’ll go and prepare the water” Anders promised to himself, and Justice: he would never want to make her cry again. 

-----------------------

A/N: It's been sitting in my google doc for a while. Basically a bit of "rewrite" on one of the companion check-ups on Anders in Act 1. The second half of the dialogue was supposed to be like ‘exclusive’ to m!Hawke in-game. But fuck that, I can still see Anders telling this kind of information to my lavender (Purple/Blue) Hawke

Messy amateur writing and not very descriptive I know. Just need to get it out of my head. Whatever I guess.

They are not a pair; Anders did have a crush on Hawke for some time, but later eventually develops into more like sibling-like care.

I will get to write about Fenris/Thea Hawke at some point, I swear lmao

[cruelangelstheses]

alistair theirin, cat-sitter

fandom: dragon age rating: G characters: alistair, zevran, isabela, merrill, morrigan words: 3k additional tags: modern au, fluff, humor description: alistair ends up cat-sitting ser pounce-a-lot for the weekend. everything is fine, except that he knows nothing about cats—and to make matters worse, he’s pretty sure ser pounce-a-lot hates him. a/n: i’m back lmao i’ll be done reposting these soon. this was written for @compulsive-elfrootpicker for a wintersend exchange! their warden reina cousland is mentioned briefly so that’s who that is :-)

read it on ao3

—

This is not what Alistair had expected when Reina asked him to take care of a cat for the weekend.

It’s not even Reina’s cat; it’s Reina’s friend’s cat—Anders is the guy’s name, if Alistair remembers correctly. Apparently, Reina had agreed to watch Ser Pounce-a-Lot for the weekend while Anders was away, before realizing at the last minute that she was also going away for the weekend. Cue a panicked phone call late Thursday evening in which Reina asked Alistair to be the substitute cat-sitter, and Alistair agreed despite knowing next to nothing about cats. “Surely they can’t be that much different from dogs,” he’d assured himself. It should be fine, right? Right?

Wrong.

It’s only been about ten minutes since Reina dropped off Ser Pounce-a-Lot at Alistair’s apartment. In that time, Pounce has shredded Alistair’s curtains, knocked over several cups, and pissed on the kitchen floor despite knowing full well how to use the litter box, which Alistair had placed right near the back door to the balcony. Granted, it could be worse—at least the cups are all plastic and didn’t break, and at least Pounce didn’t piss on the carpet, and Alistair has been meaning to get some new curtains anyway—but still.

“What do you want from me?” Alistair asks the cat, who is standing on top of the kitchen table and swishing his tail back and forth. He’s just finished cleaning everything up, but there are bound to be plenty more messes at this rate.

Ser Pounce-a-Lot meows, but Alistair doesn’t speak cat, so he has no idea what that means. “It was a rhetorical question,” he says. Pounce hisses and uses his hind paws to slide his collar off of his neck. Alistair sighs.

It’s only Friday afternoon. Reina won’t be back to pick up the cat until Sunday evening. Clearly Alistair isn’t going to survive until then without some help, so he does the only thing he can think of to do: he calls Zevran.

Zevran Arainai is not usually the first person Alistair calls in the event of an emergency. That would be Wynne—she’s a sensible woman who has lived a lot longer than Alistair, and she’s very good at being “the adult” in any given situation. Alas, she’s apparently busy all weekend—if she’d been available, Reina would’ve asked her to watch Ser Pounce-a-Lot instead of Alistair.

The second person Alistair calls in the event of an emergency is Reina, but obviously that won’t do any good in this case. The third person would be Leliana, but she’s visiting family in Orlais; thus, by default, Zevran is the next person on his list, because Sten and Morrigan both scare him, and he trusts Oghren with a cat even less than he trusts himself.

Alistair’s conversations with Zevran normally take place over text when not in person, but this is an emergency, and he’s not going to risk being left on read when there’s a cat loose in his apartment who seems bent on giving him the headache of a lifetime. Luckily, Zevran picks up on the third ring. “Hello? Alistair?”

“Zevran!” Alistair says, breathing a sigh of relief. “Look, I know you probably have plans this evening, but I’m having a bit of an emergency and I need you to come over as soon as you can.”

“An emergency?” Zevran repeats. He sounds like he’s not sure whether to be concerned or amused. “What sort of emergency are we talking about? Do I need to call an ambulance?”

Alistair snorts. “Zevran, if I needed to call an ambulance, I would’ve called it before I called you.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Zevran replies. “Just let me put my pants back on, and then Isabela and I will be right over.”

“You—what?” Alistair says, but it’s too late; Zevran has already hung up.

Alistair shakes his head and turns back to the kitchen table—except Ser Pounce-a-Lot is not where Alistair last saw him. “Ser Pounce-a-Lot?” he calls, looking back and forth between the table and the counters. “Pouncey?”

It’s no use. Ser Pounce-a-Lot is nowhere in the kitchen—Alistair figures that out pretty quickly just by checking the cabinets and the pantry. The cat is gone, and he clearly doesn’t bow to Alistair, so it’s unlikely that he’ll return just at the sound of his name. “Blast it,” Alistair mutters. This day is just getting worse and worse by the second.

Alistair heads into the living room, checking behind and under furniture and even lifting up the couch cushions, to no avail. Beginning to grow desperate, he runs to the bathroom, searching under the sink and behind the shower curtain and even in the (closed) toilet, just in case Pounce somehow lifted up the lid and crawled inside. Nothing.

Alistair is in the process of tearing his bedroom apart when he hears Zevran’s voice singsonging, “Alistair! Oh, Alistair!”

“Yes!” Alistair calls as he digs through his closet. “I’m back here!”

A few seconds later, Alistair hears two pairs of footsteps behind him in the messy room. He glances over his shoulder to find Zevran and his friend-with-benefits, Isabela, both staring at him with their eyebrows raised in confusion. “What is the emergency?” Zevran asks coolly.

Alistair turns around to face them, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, so Reina agreed to watch some guy’s cat for the weekend, but then she realized that she was also going away for the weekend, so she pawned the cat off on me to babysit. Except the cat is a monster who hates me and I don’t know how to take care of it, and also since I called you I have discovered that the monster-cat has gone missing.”

“Wait,” Isabela says, holding a hand up. “Whose cat is it again?”

Now it’s Alistair’s turn to raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Err...I’m not quite sure why that matters, but I think his name’s Anders?”

Isabela gasps and claps a hand over her mouth. “I knew it! You’re watching Ser Pounce-a-Lot!”

Alistair shrugs helplessly. “Well, I was. How do you even know this guy?”

“I met him through a mutual friend,” Isabela says. “He gets around, it seems, despite the fact that he’s kind of a hermit.”

Zevran, meanwhile, is typing something in his phone, a half-smirk on his face. Alistair narrows his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I am adding this to my list of ridiculous reasons Alistair has called me,” Zevran replies with a laugh. “Do not worry, my friend. We shall find this Ser Pounce-a-Lot in no time.”

“You have a list?” Alistair says, before shaking his head. “You know what? Never mind. We have more important issues here. Number one being that I’ve had the cat for less than half an hour and I’ve already lost him. I checked the whole apartment, every hiding place I could think of, and I haven’t found anything.”

“Hmm. You never know,” Zevran says thoughtfully as he puts his phone back in his pocket. “Cats can be very quick and sneaky. Maybe he keeps moving to different hiding spots like a game of tag.”

“A game of hide-and-seek tag,” Isabela adds. “If we split up, we might be able to find him.”

“Yes. Good idea,” Alistair agrees, so with that, Zevran and Isabela rush out of the bedroom to search other areas of the apartment.

Alistair investigates every part of the bedroom and bathroom multiple times, with no success. When the three reconvene in the living room after a solid ten minutes, he can tell by his friends’ expressions that they didn’t find the cat, either.

“I don’t get it,” Alistair says. “I didn’t leave the front door open or anything. How did he get out?”

At that, Zevran awkwardly gestures toward the kitchen. “Alistair, I have a question,” he says slowly. “Was that window always open?”

Oh, no. Alistair nearly sprints into the kitchen, his eyes resting on an open window right above the kitchen counter. He’d opened it earlier in the daytime because it got hot in the apartment and he’d needed some air. Now the spring breeze blowing peacefully through the window seems to mock him.

Alistair rests his elbows on the counter and then buries his head in his hands, groaning and swearing under his breath. “Maker, I’m so stupid.”

“Well, Isabela knows the fellow who owns the cat,” Zevran says reassuringly, doing his best to remain optimistic about the whole situation. “That will probably come in handy.”

Isabela laughs nervously. “Um, actually, it might not.”

That is not what Alistair wanted to hear. “What? Why not?”

Isabela crosses her arms. “He loves that cat. If he even suspected that something bad happened to it, he’d probably—I don’t know—magic us to death.”

Zevran snorts. “I believe the phrase you are looking for is ‘kill us with fire,’ my dear.”

“Wait,” Alistair says, an automatic reaction. “Anders is a mage?”

“Oh. Yeah,” Isabela says nonchalantly. “Why?”

Alistair shakes his head and reminds himself that it’s not relevant. “Oh. No reason, I guess. I used to be a templar. Well, I left before I could actually take my vows, but I have all the abilities.”

Isabela’s eyes widen, as if she’s just suddenly put two and two together. “Are you serious?”

“Err...yes?” Alistair says, eyeing her with confusion. “What about it?”

“I think Anders somehow teaches his cats to like mages and dislike templars,” Isabela explains. “Or maybe they just learn the behavior by being around him. At any rate, they seem to be able to...sense that sort of thing.” She shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t know a whole lot about magic and such.” Then she smirks a little, her eyes twinkling playfully. “But that would explain why Ser Pounce disliked you so much.”

Zevran practically cackles. “Oh, the thought of a cat shredding your curtains because you’re a templar!” he crows.

“I was a templar,” Alistair corrects. “But if the cat likes mages and dislikes templars...do you think he may have wandered off to a mage’s house?”

A lightbulb seems to appear over Isabela’s head. “That’s it!” she exclaims. “I know where to look for him. There’s a mage girl who lives just down the street, and he can’t have gone too far.”

Zevran snatches a bag of cat treats off the kitchen table, probably to entice Pounce to come back. “Well, what are we waiting for?” he says, shaking the bag. “Let’s go cat-hunting!”

With that, the three all rush out the door. They don’t bother with the elevator (since Alistair lives on the third floor of his apartment building); Alistair practically leaps down the stairs, Zevran slides down the railing, and Isabela sprints faster than Alistair thought was possible in knee-high boots. They probably look strange running through the lobby and bursting through the front doors. Isabela leads them across the parking lot and onto the sidewalk, heading in the direction of the downtown area.

Any thoughts about how it might have been faster to take the car vanish when Alistair sees the bumper-to-bumper traffic. It’s late afternoon on a Friday; it would’ve taken them ten minutes just to get out of the parking lot. Besides, they’re pedestrians, so they have the right-of-way at every crosswalk.

It’s not long before they arrive at a quaint little white townhouse with a rocking chair and several potted plants on the porch. Isabela bangs on the door several times, yelling, “Merrill!”

A few moments later, the door opens, revealing a small elven girl with black hair and tattoos on her face. “Isabela!” she says cheerfully, sounding pleasantly surprised. “What brings you here? And who are they?” She gestures toward Alistair and Zevran.

“Some friends,” Isabela replies quickly. “Listen—did you happen to see an orange tabby cat recently? Like, within the past forty-five minutes or so?”

Merrill’s eyes light up. “Yes, actually! A cat that looked just like that came scratching at the door maybe fifteen minutes ago. I gave him some pieces of cucumber and he sat with me on the porch for a little, but then he left.”

“He left?” Alistair repeats in a panic.

“Merrill,” Isabela says slowly, “that was Ser Pounce-a-Lot. Anders’s cat.”

Merrill covers her mouth with her hand. Clearly she knows Anders, too. “Ohhh,” she says, her cheeks flushing pink. “I knew he looked familiar. But he wasn’t wearing his collar, so I wasn’t sure.”

Alistair mentally smacks himself, remembering the way Pounce had removed his own collar with ease. Alistair hadn’t bothered to put it back on him.

“Oh, Merrill,” Isabela says with a sigh, but there’s not a trace of malice in her voice (in fact, Alistair thinks he might actually hear a bit of endearment).

“The last I saw him,” Merrill adds, “he was headed down toward Korcari Street. Fast, too.” She giggles a little. “He was a cat on a mission. As if he had somewhere very important to be.”

Alistair and Zevran exchange glances. They only know one mage who lives on Korcari Street. “Morrigan!” they say in unison.

Alistair throws his hands up in the air. “She hates animals!” he yelps. “She’ll kill him! Skin him alive, eat him for dinner, then use his bones as kindling!”

Upon hearing this, Isabela grimaces and says, “Well, we’d better be going, Merrill. Got a cat to save and all that. Bye!”

Without another word, she turns around and leaps down the steps, Zevran following her. Alistair shoots Merrill a glance and says, “Thanks.” Then he turns around and runs after Isabela and Zevran.

“Oh! Um, no problem?” Merrill says from behind him. Isabela will have a lot of explaining to do later, it seems.

As they rush to Korcari Street (earning strange looks from passersby as they shove their way through crowds and cross streets when they’re not supposed to), Zevran says, “I have to say, Isabela, I am surprised.”

“Surprised about what?” Isabela asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You always go on about how selfish you are,” Zevran says smugly, “yet here you are, helping Alistair with his cat predicament without expecting anything in return.”

“Oh, come on,” Isabela replies defensively. “I’m only doing this because I don’t want Anders to kill me. That’s all.”

“Hmm,” Zevran says, clearly unconvinced. “From what I’ve gathered, Anders still thinks that Reina is the one taking care of the cat. If anything were to happen to him, it would be on her head, and maybe Alistair’s. Not yours.”

“I—well, I just had to make sure that—shut up.” Her cheeks turn pink, and Zevran laughs.

This time, when they reach Morrigan’s townhouse, Alistair is the one who pounds his fists on the door and shouts, “Morrigan!”

“She may not answer to you,” Zevran says. “Let me try.” Taking a deep breath, he cups his hands around his mouth and calls, “Morrigan! O magical temptress, I beseech thee!”

The sound of the front door slamming open stops Zevran from continuing his speech. “What?” Morrigan snaps, looking even grumpier and more terrifying than usual. “First a cat, and now this.”

“A cat!” Zevran exclaims. “That is what we’re here for!”

“Please tell me it’s still alive,” Alistair adds.

As if on cue, an orange tabby cat appears from behind Morrigan, rubbing himself against her legs and purring. Morrigan rolls her eyes and lightly pushes him away with her foot. “Shoo,” she says with a scowl.

“Pouncey!” Alistair cheers, a wave of relief washing over him at the sight of Ser Pounce-a-Lot all in one piece.

Morrigan raises an eyebrow, probably at the name. “I was not aware you had a cat, Alistair.”

“Oh, I don’t,” Alistair says quickly. “He’s not mine. I’m just...cat-sitting. Except apparently this cat really likes mages and really doesn’t like templars.”

Morrigan snorts. “Explains why he thought I would be a good person to visit.”

“Why did you even let him in, if you hate animals so much?” Zevran asks.

“I didn’t,” Morrigan says. “I opened my door to see what all the scratching was about, and he ran inside before I could stop him.”

“Well, uh, we’ll take him off your hands,” Alistair says, crouching down to pick up Ser Pounce-a-Lot. Pounce hisses and doesn’t move from Morrigan’s side.

“Go,” Morrigan tells him, sounding exasperated. “I have other things to deal with. This man will not harm you.”

Pounce meows at her. Alistair thinks the cat almost sounds unsure.

“He is an ex-templar,” Morrigan continues with another roll of her eyes. “He never actually took his vows. Now go.”

Alistair holds back his laughter at the sight of Morrigan trying to reason with a cat. Ser Pounce-a-Lot trots out the door, but instead of heading toward Alistair, he stops at Isabela’s feet.

Isabela laughs a little. “It’s because he knows me,” she says. Then, to Ser Pounce-a-Lot, she adds, “Fine. I’ll carry you, you spoiled little furball.”

Ser Pounce-a-Lot meows approvingly as Isabela picks him up. “Well, err...sorry for bothering you,” Alistair says awkwardly to Morrigan. She glares at him, but—if he isn’t seeing things—he swears that her eyes betray something akin to amusement beneath the irritation and hostility.

“Try not to do it again,” Morrigan says with a hint of a smirk.

Alistair sticks his tongue out at her. Behind him, Zevran snickers.

They take their time walking back to Alistair’s apartment. “So,” Alistair says slowly, “we found Ser Pounce-a-Lot, but something tells me he’s going to keep making trouble.”

Zevran raises an eyebrow. “Is this your way of asking us if we would like to sleep over? I graciously accept.”

Alistair can feel his cheeks heating up. “Well, I mean, if you want—”

Zevran holds up his index finger and presses it lightly against Alistair’s lips. “Nonsense. I will not abandon my good friend Alistair in his time of need. I assume you have no objections, Isabela?”

After a short pause, Isabela, still carrying Ser Pounce-a-Lot, says, “None. But I reserve the right to leave whenever I want.”

“But of course,” Zevran says. “It has been decided. Ser Pounce-a-Lot will not stand a chance against us!”

Alistair smiles and shakes his head. It’s going to be a long and interesting weekend for sure.

[gothamcityneedsme]

15, 16, 17 for the meme please~ (bring on the salt)

=

Yes….it’s time….for Salt.

15. Most loathed character. EVER. 

Oh man that’s a loaded question.  I actually have a personal mini-essay series I wrote on this topic (i get bored in class sometimes) where I list out four characters i hate the most and why.  But i think the winner of that contest is………proooobably Merril from DA2.  I know a lot of people like her but I have so many issues with how she’s presented and how Hawke can speak to her that i just overall get Tired.

also i honestly enjoy the game more if i ignore her outside of story events (which makes her appearances in the endgame REALLY WEIRD and kinda random btw).

The other characters on the list don’t quite have that same kind of like.  ‘actually ignoring involvement in the story’ level, so that’s the only reason i really put her as the winner here (that and she’s the one people will actually know, lmao).

16. Favorite villain/s. 

Villains in general are often Pretty Great.  Lex Luthor is high up there (I write about him sometimes).  I often accidentally find myself cheering for Lex Luthor, which is difficult when Superman is my favorite hero, lmao.  I also really like Grand Admiral Thrawn from Star Wars, and Ysanne Isard, also from Star Wars.  Hunter from the SWTOR Imperial Agent storyline gets a special mention too, with how personal his relationship to the agent seems.  fsdjlkskd i need more non-star wars villains here oops.

AM from ‘I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream’ is incredible.  Aaand finally, this one was kinda made cringe-y through fandom, but Nagito from Daganronpa was really powerful in the visual novel, imo.

The best villain in anything I’ve engaged with more recently is Serph Sheffield, tbh.  He affected me in many ways, and the game was so effective in leading up to and revealing him.  And god.  he’s awful.

17. A show you used to love but eventually hated or vice-versa. 

I started scrolling down a list of anime to kinda think because it’s hard for me to come up with things I hate sometimes, but the anime Another stuck out to me.  because i thought it seemed really interesting at first and then I just found it totally underwhelming.

Oh, and the Danganronpa 3 anime started out really good but i HATED like the last episode and a half.  I rewrote it in my head so i forget that I hate it sometimes because i’ve already fixed my issues lol.

Oh and finally, and probably the best answer, the Star Wars the Clone Wars tv show.  My sister told me that I “tried to like that show more than anyone else”.  I hated it for seasons but just kept watching, trying to like it, but I kept poking too many holes in it.  Eventually I reached my limit and I had to stop watching it, oops.

[theharellan]

It’s been three years, and I fucking love Solas. Someone help me.

Are you ready for some unabashed Solas love? I sure am.

So three years today I was coming to the end of my first playthrough of Dragon Age: Inquisition. I’d already made a blog for my Inquisitor Cadash (before the game came out, to open up after I beat it), and that was all I was expecting to make.

Then, some bald elf grabbed her hand and helped her close her first Breach. I’d kept up with Inquisition news, and Solas seemed cool, interesting enough. I wasn’t really expecting or prepared for how much I’d come to love him. By Temple of Mythal I’d made a Solas blog, and when I finished on the 22nd I made the finishing touches, and here we are!

I wanted to spend some time talking about what I love about Solas, since there’s a lot of negativity about the character. Rping him I know that kind of negativity (not even criticism, which he very much deserves, just negativity that often completely ignores vast swathes of characterisation) can get very tiring to read and humour. Yes, I know he’s trash, let me tell you why I love him, both in spite of and because of those qualities.

Without further ado, welcome. Welcome to my disorganised rambling essay/list of why I have been writing this loser for three years now:

What first drew me to Solas was his experiences as a Dreamer. I majored in history as an undergrad, one of my favourite things as a historian was reading and reviewing primary sources. You find the truth in them, but only one person’s version of the truth. When Solas spoke of dreaming, he spoke to that knowledge: that history is never one story, and that at Ostagar Loghain could be  hero and a villain at the same time. Both were valid readings, and both were memories that deserved to be remembered. Having a character who spoke to the history nerd in me was very special, I won’t lie.

As the game continued, Solas totally revolutionized Dragon Age lore for me? Even before it started to become obvious that he was more than just an elf who liked napping. Before Solas and Cole the Fade wasn’t a particularly interesting part of the world for me, but how Solas explained the personhood of spirits really affirmed what Dragon Age 2 had started to explore with the nature of Justice/Vengeance and Merrill’s banter.

It was some really beautiful world-building, to slowly pull back the veil (ha) and reveal that our perception of spirits in early games was really misguided.

And once it became obvious he was something more than what he wanted us to think (I had guessed he was related to Fen’Harel- although I had assumed it was something along the lines of Felassan since I had finished TME just before DA:I) it got even better? In DA:O elf lore didn’t really grab me like the dwarves or qunari, or even the mages. DA2 improved with Merrill, and then in DA:I Solas took what Merrill had granted us and ran with it. The lore he introduced was what made me elf trash, honestly. Before I was just kind of like... elf recycling? I loved Merrill, but wasn’t all that interested in Dragon Age elf lore as a concept. Now I am 100% trash and I will rot in this elf garbage dump until the universe ends.

His and Sera’s perspective on the Dalish really jerked me out of the perception of Dalish elves being Perfectly Fallen Elves, which had never been true, but their flaws are much more muted in DA:O and it took several playthroughs before I could really begin to wrap my head around how their behaviour towards Merrill only made matters worse. By listening to Solas and also Sera’s perception of them, it made going back and replaying early games more exciting, as I could see the seeds of issues DA:I would eventually explore. It’s why I enjoy DA:I so much because, imo, it compliments the lore of DA:O and DA2 so well for the most part.

And the lore he eventually brings to Elvhenan? Fantastic. Like I said, I had read TME beforehand, so I was already aware Elvhenan had issues, but revelation that the Elvhen gods were never gods, that their empire was not the perfect thing we had been led to believe? As much as DA:I played up the high fantasy angle more than DA:O and DA2, that revelation was very much a dark fantasy trope, and it fit perfectly with the overall tone in the series whereas before Elvhenan had seemed a little out of place. Empires are shitty by nature, and it was good to see the elven empire was no exception.

All these revelations are, to some extent, introduced or expanded upon by Solas. So I connect a lot of my love for the lore to him, and as a result I’m fond of him for that reason. I’m going to move on, though, because I’m like 800 words in and I haven’t touched upon him as a person lmao.

This one article that I won’t really touch upon for too long, namely because I couldn’t read it all, compared Solas to a fedora-wearer, which is a characterisation that drives me batty. Because Solas is a SJW, for better or worse. He can very easily identify problems in society, and people, and has no problem talking about them, even when it’s inappropriate.

He cares, he cares deeply. He cares even when it’s against his best interests to care.

If you take him with you through the Hinterlands (and beyond) you’ll find he approves when you help people, even people he might disagree with. Should you deliver a flower to Senna’s grave, and invoke Falon’Din’s name when you inform her widower, he approves. He approves even if he knows the Elvhen gods are false, and knows Falon’Din would not spend a second thinking about this poor man’s dead wife.

He cares when you choose to sacrifice the Chargers, and reinforce to Iron Bull that his worth lies only in the Qun. And if you choose to save them, he cares to reassure Bull that he is not a beast, but a person, and an intelligent one.

And whatever your relationship with him is, by Trespasser he decides he cares enough to save you. Even if he thinks your Inquisitor is so terrible he comes close to comparing them to the evanuris (especially Inquisitors he’s unfriendly to who claim to be chosen) he still decides that the south deserves better than what the qunari will give him. Trespasser was not a smart move for Solas, all things considered. He could have pulled out of the south, or left the Inquisitor to die without explanation. But he explains, because he cares enough to know he owes them that much.

None of this excuses what he plans, but how much he cares in spite of what he feels he must do is compelling.

I think one of the most telling things is the stories Solas can recount for you. When you ask him for stories, he tells you tales of Ostagar, or mighty battles, but the little moments he recounts for you are some of my favourite examples of what Solas finds important in the world. Dwarves seeing daylight for the first time, a qunari baker rebelling in a subtle way only she will know. This guy walks the Fade, and could in theory see every moment in history that people might kill to see, but instead comes across a memory of a woman baking and thinks “this is important.”

Stuff like that is, to me, demonstrative about how much Solas is about the people. He has a lot of growing to do when it comes to his perception of... well, everyone, but despite all of this he still does see wonder in really tiny moments. These are things you don’t often see, especially in jaded immortals, and it’s one of my favourite things about getting to know him.

Speaking of Solas’s perception of the modern world, let’s talk about it. It’s flawed as all heck (especially  at the beginning of the game), but it makes total sense.

Waking up in a world where there’s essentially one less dimension, or perhaps half a dimension where there used to be a whole one? That’s not the sort of thing you just get over. Of the ancient elves we have met, all of them have expressed similar struggles. Abelas doesn’t recognise a Lavellan as Dalish, and Felassan only begins to see them as people towards the end of Masked Empire.

That Solas’s perception (that any of these characters) is able to evolve is impressive, imo.

I’m not saying he deserves to be praised for coming to recognise people as people, in case you’re wondering. What I love here is that Solas, that every ancient elf thus far, is allowed a very real reaction to an impossible situation. And what I love is, for as much as the fandom likes to paint him as stubborn, he is more capable of evolving than people give him credit for.

Of all the things to admit you were wrong about, admitting you were wrong about the entire population of Thedas is a pretty big thing to admit. It’s why I do have hope that Bioware will grant him at least a bittersweet happy ending. It’s clear, especially if you befriend him, he does not enjoy what he feels must be done.

And you may ask “then why do it?” to which I usually reply: the name of ‘traitor’ would suddenly be worthy of him, at least in his eyes, if he just turned his back on those he has worked for literal centuries to uplift. So many people try to convince Solas he’s wrong by... telling him what he’s doing is bad, which. It is, but he knows. Put that energy towards showing him how his rebels can live the life they were supposed to get after the evanuris had been toppled, and then, I think, people would start to make some headway in redeeming him.

Often when protagonists are redeemed it is with an appeal to the heart, and not the head. You appeal to their better nature. With Solas I believe redemption lies not in appealing to his better nature, because in a way he’s already using it. Instead, redemption for Solas will come from showing him that his heart is right, but it is his head that is the problem. Hopefully that makes sense? Show him that his people matter, and can be given their freedom, and then a happy ending may come after.

I could go on and on and on about everything I love about him, but I’m realising this is getting long, so maybe dedicating a mini-essay to every character trait was a mistake. I’m going to throw out a couple more, and try to wrap things up!

I love how angry he gets in banter. I’m someone who gets mad when I argue with people about social issues, especially when I otherwise had/have respect for that person, so hearing Solas get legitimately frustrated when arguing with Iron Bull is very relatable for me. I love that he’s allowed to be angry, and allowed to be right, even while being wrong about so much else.

I love his sense of humour, and his laugh. I love that as much as “Chuckles” is considered to be (even by the game) an ironic nickname, one of the first potential lines from him is him snort-chuckling about Varric being involved with the Chantry (at the first time we hear the nickname Chuckles, I believe).

I love that he loves spirits. I love that no matter what path you choose for Cole, he loves and supports Cole. I love that he understands spirit Cole is as much as a person as human Cole, and both are good and worthy of loving, even if Cole is going down a path he cannot fully relate to himself.

I love his lapses-- be it where he comes out looking something of a fool (setting his pants on fire) or just being a nerd in love on his romance path. He’s smooth, but he stumbles.

There’s so much more I could go into, honestly? His fashion sense, his relationships with each individual member of the Inquisition, the tenderness he is capable of, but I’m pretty sure this is getting too long to be worth reading. I may do a part two sometime (maybe next anniversary??) but for now, I hope everyone who somehow managed to read all of this has a better understanding of why I care so much for Solas, and why I’ve been writing him for four years.

I have no idea how many thousands of words I’ve written for Solas over the past 8,133 posts, but I do know this: I love how there’s still things I haven’t been able to explore in my prose, and I love that you guys will be here to explore them with me!

Thank you everyone who has stuck with my Solas for so long? Even after my mental health issues forced me to take a very long hiatus, I was surprised and touched by how many stuck with me. You’re all wonderful, and I hope you have a nice night!

If you could please refrain from any Solas negativity in comments or tags, I’d appreciate it!

[iimmcrtalis-archive]

DA verse

a summary post of all my active muses verse(s) in dragon age because i’m f EELING IT BOYS. except terry for rn bc it’ll be Hard. one day. gonna try and go in a from least knowledge bout their verse to extensive knowledge of ‘em so. ayy

this is a pretty long post i apologize to those on mobile!!

Nova; mage(???), human ( ? ), possibly a distant noble

probably a mage? because blue space magic is her jam. though she’s actually more of a combat & tech. she was like well rounded in that regard so i’m considering iunno??? battlemage maybe w/ lockpicking who knows. she’s a sneaky mage that can stab u real good.

would probably also assume she’s pretty good as inquisitor because she would treat it as her role and thing she still has to bare and takes it seriously. like nova is no nonsense as inquisitor but absolute nonsense when she’s not playing that role lmao. 

Morgan; mage?? human af ye. defo a noble blood t BH. 

i unno man. iunno. is he a mage? yeah probably. would he be a legit battlemage + arcane warrior? probably. Would i say he uses a real sword? pro b ab ly. like listen he’s a beefy mage who wears normal armor and probably looks like a fckn non mage but bOOM SUDDENLY LIGHTNING FROM HIS HAND W H AT 

iunno he’s a mage and he’s aggressive as FUCKKKK. aggro as fuck. probably sides withhh iunno both he’d want both and think it’s wasted potential to only have one lmao. iunno he’s hard to figure out man. he’d ultimately probably be like templars because actual ppl who know how to fight. but also wouldn’t wanna condemn the mageS??? so who knows who knows. 

anyways he probably likes blackwall and the iron bull and viv and cass?? and just ye. chills w/ them a lot probably. probably would flirt w/ cass tho god. butw/e no he’s uhhhh real aggressive as a fckn inquisitor like every body getting beheaded. except a few probably.. he would probably make uh... whats his name... tranquil tbh. worse fate than death that yes he would wish on his enemies bc otherwise they get what they want & too risky otherwise. 

Igne; old af elf, probably an assassin combo w/ magic??

like listen if you tell me that they can’t be both ima fckn punt u bc really that’s dumb. defeats the point of multiclassing in the fantasy genre of g am es. anyways really tho they’re old. old as balls. probably? iunno. probably served like... andruil for a while or somethin! got a lil lil corrupted but didn’t want it and wanted freedom so they were like FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUTTIE 

how’d they live? no idea. not a single clue bc i just don’t know jackshit bout ancient elf shit anymore (when did i ever) but honestly. it’s probably a thing right? old af elves everywhere. but no no they’d probably even annoy sera bc like they’re literally?? nonsense. violent af nonsense. hanging off a roof with a fckn potato in their mouth & lookin ready to murder. 

it’s a look™  but nah thinkin that u hhh corruption shit is probably what gave them a red eye ayyy

inquisitor igne is like dagger eyes at solas but doesn’t snitch on him ever not even once. she’s got his back man. she’d be like cool i’ll plaY BOTH SIDES SUre. sure. no mercy run on ppl tho god 

EVELYN / ISENE; old af elf. got that fckn combo again

it’s a theme really, combo classes. all my muses? multiclassed fuckers.  for a detailed everything, please refer to her old blog bc this is gonna be a stupid summary of it so ayyy.

old as dicks dude. lost her arm in the rebellion, against the rebellion. served elgar’nan because he fits her the most tbh. still sort of serves him i guess. like if he showed up she wouldn’t hesitate to follow his orders is what i mean here. otherwise she keeps up the facade of being a former dalish elf mercenary. and definitely doesn’t shy away from admitting she’s got magic. never calls herself a mage because  like lmao 

she has a fckn big ol sword she carries around one handed? and if ur like UR JUST A MAGE she’s gonna use said big ol sword to chop ur head off. not a fan of modern mages tho lmao. at all. like not a lot of sympathy for them. but she would also just kick a circles door in and be like cool leave gtfo you weaklin lil fucks jfc go learn somethin. 

would fight solas in a denny’s parking lot at 2am if she knew jack shit. but she really doesn’t so she’s like ur weird and i dont trust you  butyeah lm ao

Eludysia; ngl i unno if she’s old old but she’s Old. Old seer lady. 

honestly i think she’s not gonna have much of a da verse in general but it exists enough that i feel like i should cover it here. but essentially she’s an old elf seer in rivain. leader of a port side town. No chantry or qunari around its a lot of elves tho. refugees and what not from kirkwall and stuff. 

i unno if she’s an ancient elf but i know she’s old. like real old. so who knows

if she is ancient she probably woulda been like a priestess to ?? falon’din or dirthamen??? because seer shit but like even in a current state she’s fairly devoted to on e o f them or both? probably both lmao. so it’s w/e. 

she’s the former keeper of the clan revas got sent to, which is where revas’ mom is also from and how she gets to that clan. but she was keeper of the clan for like.. a long time like a long time. like that bald fuck from da:o  but without plaguing people with a curse. iunno how she did it but magic and better than that shit. 

more important if revas is inquisitor because lmao she’d probably be like.. welp im gonna come guide you?? probably.   shit she’s probably like emerald knights old tho shit but no fuckin!!! probably comes to be an advisor. 

i think if u go revas as commander/advisor or inquisitor in a thread eludysia’s probs gonna show up and be like sup  but otherwise she’s mainly just a contact in rivain for info and resources!! no special quest or anything u can just contact her for stuff. 

Warren; half-elf, half-qunari. big man w/ a bow.

&& a thick af accent let’s be real here. 

i haven’t made a post about his shit yet so! this one might be a lil longer!! 

grew up in/around starkhaven. in an alienage somewhere really! but he’s got that starkhaven accent. probably just fumbled his way there because honestly he got fucking ditched by his people and has no idea who his parents are lmao. just knows his mom died during child birth and he was fuckin cursed essentially via his?? clan or something. that qunari bit of him is real obvious as his horns grew out and probably had a harsh life in an alienage. 

because he’s not an elf. but he’s not human. and he’s not a qunari. so he’s just. him. 

eventually falls in with some ppl who teach him to steal. so he does a lot and then gets busted and they fckn break his horns off and chop his ears!!! and throw him the fuck out. as you do. but they taught him to use a bow so he’s good with that. and knives. good at close quarters and a long range.

gets better with a bow. real top knotch stuff. ends up in a mercenary crew (same one as qunari inquisitor? probably.) enjoys his merc lifestyle ya know has a good time killin shit 

anyways. companion warren is p much like ‘Strength & force.’ because he has no tact and doesn’t care about politics. like one day i’ll have his approval / disapproval shit. but today is not that day.

but the same applies to his inquisitor shit. he’s fucking brutal as an inquisitor. cares about the little people but FUCK the rich. takes the well for himself ( tho if i would also say revas is there bc i can and she’d take it) but generally just!! give him power and let him kill shit!! that’s all he cares about. tho he wouldn’t kill samson or calpernia bc he doesn’t see them as enemies or villains truly? just pawns in a big scheme and he’d probably stare corypheus in the face and be like get fucked you saggy fuck 

he’s great, great guy. 

Revas: Keeper. Dreamer. Dalish elf. 

literally like most people know Revas’ Dragon Age basics!! but if you don’t i’ll just direct you to her old blog, so you know what’s up.  i’ll put it into a summary the best i can tho! 

Backstory: short and simple? #fucked.  expanded? she was born to the lavellan clan to one of the head hunters & warriors. ended up having magic so she was sort of training to become second, or first, till her moms old clan was like hey we need a new first so uhhhh help us out. and they traded some goods and revas went on her way. ended up being a fucked up situation where the previous first was murdered by two clanmates who eventually tried ( and did) murder revas but she came back bc lmao spirit help & ended up killing them and leaving for her actions.

Dragon Age: Awakening:  full page about it Takes place shortly after this event happened. she lived on her own for awhile, protecting people as much as she could from darkspawn during the blight. ends up going to the wardens because someone doesn’t appreciate her help since she’s a Mage.     The choices made by the warden in regards to her effect how she becomes a warden and the rest of the timeline. Sort of a branch off feel. highly recommend taking a look at the page and also this post. 

DA 2:  If not in the Awakening verse, Revas travels around to the clans. becoming a traveling keeper & helping the clans the best she can. As well as finding ruins and exploring man memories from lost objects. Eventually finds her way to Kirkwall to actually speak with Merrill. But some other shenanigans play out and some stuff goes down. Ends up helping in the fight at the end and leaving with Zevran ( @allurfavesrqueer‘s zevran only lmao. )

DA:I     Companion: Shows up in fereldan with some tree peeps. gets some elvhen shit. offers her services to the inquisition bc that’s what her spirit told her to do. and ya know real fucky. shares some approvals as solas but usually has some pretty contrasting opinions on things! Will defo take on the role of like older sibling or sibling figure with the inquisitor if they’re close enough. Be kind to elves & mages and you’re good.  ( also she’s an option to take the well if the inquisitor doesn’t want it) 

   Advisor: Takes up an offer by the inquistor to become an advisor which is more or less her using her network with the elves around the countries to do certain objectives and what not. acts a bit like an ambassador for the elves & mages in the meetings to give them a voice and remind the human board of trusteeeess that they’re fucking not the only ones around :)) 

  Commander: Mainly with @desiderrium‘s Cullen. Basically Revas takes over for Cullen? at his request kinda because she’s like what the fuck you’re whAT. and gets pissed at everyone else for keeping him on when he’s Not Okay even if she’d rather kick his teeth in 99% of the time. why revas take over? because she’s actually p fuckin qualified, gestures vaguely towards being a first and the advisor au. like she knows how to lead ppl so ayy. 

  Inquisitor: Same ish backstory happens except her parents died to the blight and she left the clan for the other and ye same shit happens. but the clans ask her to go check shit out for them and shes like of course and gets caught up in the mess so. 

ALRIGHTY !! 

so that got long but yea!! hopefully this is a more condensed version of stuff and good for reference later. 

[wait-what-no-way]

Interview with NERDS 2DX

Born in Jamaica, Queens NERDS has been adding his own unique style to every wall he approaches. From train yards to The Bushwick Collective, NERDS has no limits. His passion and dedication to the game is unmatchable. Without further ado, Writers Ink presents NERDS 2DX!

Why “NERDS”? What inspired you to choose that combination of letters?

I was always the bad smart kid in school… lol

When did you start writing?

Shit… I started noticing graff in like 7th grade, but I didn’t start to “actively” participate until High School… So like ’99, but I didn’t write “Nerds” back then… lol

Word, so about 17 years… That’s putting in work. What were the first few words you put up? Or just one prior?

I used to write “PAER,” that was my first tag.

When was the first time you went to prison?

Mid 2000’s… Like late ’05-’07… I was living in Miami, fucking up my septum with that good oil based coke… Selling 8balls and shit… Got jammed up on some charges… …I thought they were small at the time, but Florida’s judicial system isn’t New York’s. I was basically just doing my Charlie Sheen at the time… I felt like I was lucky to get that 18+ months… This was basically the time the pill mills started popping up everywhere… We all were smoking a lot of pills, going out and robbing the dope boys… Smacking $20 rocks out of their hands and doin’ the Carl Lewis… I was glad to make it out of there alive… They can keep that 18 months… It’s a gift… lol.

That’s pretty wicked. When you were in Miami, were you still writing “PAER” or had you transitioned to “NERDS.”

I got the name “NERD” around ’01-’02… I didn’t add the “S” until maybe ’07-’08 when I came back from Florida… I didn’t write much in Miami… The scene was so different… I didn’t have a car either… When I did steal or “acquire” a car… I was pretty preoccupied with other crimes…

What made you decide to come back to New York?

I had nothing left for me down there… So I decided to come back and start all over…

What was the first thing you did when you came back to New York?

The first thing I did was link up with the squad… Start painting again… I felt like I needed to get back to a sense of normalcy… And that felt like the only way.

JINS, NERDS, JROZ

What kind of spots do you and the squad like to hit?

It really all depends on the mood I’m in… Sometimes it’s something very thought out and well planned… Sometimes I have to drink a lot and I’m just like “Fuck it.”… I try to keep it diverse… Most of my squad would probably agree… We all like to challenge each other, keep us all developing.

Those shredded layers you paint are staggering, what inspired that idea?

Honestly, that idea all came from me doing collages on that fine art shit… I had like garbage bags full of ripped paper in my house… One day I was blackout drunk and started visualizing these fonts all stacked up… The idea just started really basic and then developed fairly quick… Especially once I started free-styling the colors… I’m not one of those writers who has crates of paint at their house… I’m usually working with rattlers and shit I find in my back seat… lmao… No sponsors. So it just made a lot of sense to stagger them… Especially when you’re working with quarter cans and 1 good cap… Hahah. Just gimme five scraps and I’ll smoke anybody…lol… I’ll blow cans up if I have to… lmao.

Lmao, word. That’s what’s up. How long did it take to paint that mural at the Bushwick Collective Wall in 2015?

That was actually the first non-graffiti mural I’d ever done… And at the time the biggest piece of work I had ever done… I painted it on a scaffold in the rain after work everyday for three days straight… I like a challenge… lol.

Spoken like a true savage. What type of opportunities have you had to travel different places for both galleries and straight up graffiti?

In the last few years I’ve traveled a lot… Exploring different abandoned buildings on the east coast… I fell in love with that lifestyle immediately… The isolation spoke to me in some sick way… lol… I’ve been invited to a few different festivals… experienced a lot of different cultures… Met a lot of white bitches with fat asses… They’re out there… lol.

Speaking of abandos, was that phone actually working? Or was that just for the ‘gram?? Lol. How’d you even find that place?

Lmao… Nah that shit was actually working. Deadass… made some local calls on that bad boy… Abandos are a dangerous game, especially going at it alone. If you want to find them, then you have to open your eyes… They’re all around… Keep your ears to the street and keep those clippers handy… lol.

What do you think about social media and graffiti combined?

I’ve always said that the internet itself is a tool… A tool improperly used can be dangerous… With that being said a lot of good writers careers have done well because of social media… Myself included, but I’ve been doing this when social media consisted of Bombing Science magazine and ArtCrimes.com… lmao… The internet has created a lot of hybrid styles… Which I’m all for, but a lot of the community and history has been lost… I feel like it’s a double-edged sword… Styles with no master… Street art is the entitled, ungrateful offspring of graffiti… Like the crazy dad who finally makes sense when you’re older… lol.

Who would you say has influenced your style the most?

At this point in my life, I get influences from all different areas of art… That’s a loaded question… Growing up in Queens I was mentored by a lot of old school BMK crew… Optick/ Smend… As I grew up traveling around the city, I became more aware of the variance of styles… SLOPE from BK had a lot of styles… SETUP.. I was definitely influenced by ESPO and his gates…. I never wanted to feel one dimensional in a specific style… As I got older I pushed myself to be diverse… So at this point I don’t even sketch anymore… It’s just a bag of tricks at this point… I like it like that… I’m a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, rolled in a big ass cigarette with coke on the tip… Hahaha.

From your story about Miami I can tell things were pretty wild. What was a wild experience you had in NY?

A few years ago when I was shooting my video entitled “No Invite” I went to Yonkers to search out a ‘bando. I had never been there before and had no idea how to get in…(**Side-note** At this point I had been on a three day cocaine binge. I had about 2 G’s left tucked in my sock. I was really fucked up… You know the type of fucked up that every line of Coke do you do falls out of your nostrils because your septum is just overworked…) Anyway I find the entrance to the building through a basement window that had about a 12 foot drop to the ground … there was a chain attached to the wall a few feet from the window that I grab and climb down. Meanwhile I had no idea how I was going to get out of the building when I was done nevertheless …But Fuck it though……I made my Way to the third floor. I found a wall with good light and started to unpack my paint (But If You’ve never had the unfortunate pleasure of spending three days with no sleep doing cocaine like Marion Barry… Chances are you will begin to hallucinate.) All of a sudden I hear someone say “Hellooo.” I pause while going through my cans and there is the voice again “Helloooooo??? “with some weird accent. At this point I couldn’t tell whether I was hallucinating or if this was really happening. There was the voice again, “Helloooooooooooooooo” with a weird Russian Polish-ish fuckin’ accent. So all of a sudden….I couldn’t tell you why… haha… I just yell Out ..”What’s Good Nigga!!”…..I still don’t know if I’m hallucinating or not yet or if it’s the fuckin’ boys but I’m wayyyyy to fucked up to be analyzing the situation that deep…haha… The dude yells back “Hey hey hey!!!… I’m lost, I can’t find the way I came in!!!”….about 45 seconds later he comes around the corner into the room I’m in… He’s one of those German/ Polish/ Russian /Mediterranean Merrill wearing photographer urbex dudes… I tell him the way I came in and he tells me he tried it and can’t climb the chain. He’s extra flustered… I tell him “Relax… I got you…” I show him the room where I climbed in through the window… I climb back up the chain on some American drugs ninja warrior shit and dead grant out the frame of the window off with just my feet. I grab his hand and lift him to a point where’s he’s comfortable enough to scale the chain… (I swear just reliving this story is fuckin’ ridiculous…lol.) I shimmy back down the chain, he’s extremely grateful… He says something to me and gives me a salute lol, (the type of salute you see Afghanistan kids give American soldiers…lol.) I trek back upstairs to finish the piece I started… About 1 hour later it gets really dark really fast… So I make my way back to the room to climb out. It’s fuckin’ freezing, my hands are cold and stiff, the chain I have to climb is like an ice cube, and I’m totally gassed. I don’t have the energy to climb it… I start walking room to room trying to find one loose plywood board on any random window…I’m kicking shit..trying to get out by any means… I don’t even give a fuck about the cops at this point I’m freezing… Any booking is better than death…#deadass… I sit down and light a cigarette and evaluate the situation. All of a sudden a flash light hits me through the elevated window and I hear that weird ass Russian/German/ Polish niggas voice…”HELLO!?!?!?!”……I just break out laughing… (It turned out that garbled foreign shit he was sayin’ to me as he went out the window earlier was him letting me know he was coming back with friends later)..They throw down a rope ladder and climb down. We give each other pounds and exchange language neutral expressions of respect and gratitude. I climbed out the window and never saw those tourists again…karma, huh?

When have you gone to bookings and got placed in the same cell with someone you knew?

Every time I go to jail or booking or whatever I always end up with a story. I’ve got more stories than the fuckin’ bible…lol. Sometimes when I’m about to tell a story even I know how unbelievable some of this shit is…lol

So, it’s maybe 09-11…hahah…whatever. I’m walking down 62nd on the east, fresh new chrome uni. At the time I was flipping everything from dimes to biftys of green straight delivery style. I even had a beeper on some late mid 90s clockers shit (Dope Spike Lee Movie.) I just ground the tip down of this brand new uni silver from my mans “Geo” at the Scrap Yard…

I’m approaching 1st ave and there’s a fresh mailbox… I roll up on it, bust off a quick handstyle. Exclamation, swirl, all that… I keep walking… All of a sudden I hear this whistle start blowing crazy…!!!!!!!!!!!….!!!!!!!!!!!!…..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

I turn around and 2 bike cops roll up on me fast as fuck… Did the power slide and everything..Baywatch shit… At this point I’m literally on the curb standing on the sewer grate… Out of pure instinct I drop the marker in the gutter… “Where’s the marker buddy?….Where’s the cans?…Turn around …You think we didn’t see you?” I don’t say shit… They look around for a while and see it in the gutter…(* I fucking swear to you*… They brought a fucking police tow truck to lift up the grate and retrieve the marker like it was a fucking CSI investigation no lie.*)… They ship me to the precinct… From the precinct to the Tombs (my 2nd Home)… Once I make it To the second cell I’m tired and there’s no open space… I see this dude layer out across a big piece of real estate….I walk over and I don’t know why but the first thing I see is his sneakers… Some Black shell toes with rainbows stripes…(I know a nigga with those kicks…I’ve never seen anyone else with them, but they’re obviously not the only pair in existence.) His shirt is pulled over his face to block the fluorescent lighting…I tap him on the shoulder.. “Ayo…Slide down a little bit nigga…” He pulls the shirt off his head…..NEMZ ..muthafucker!!!!!! …We start bugging out… The CO is telling us calm down and shit…He got wrapped up in some other shit (that’s his story to tell..hahaha.) Anyway it turned out he’s already been here for like 24hrs. By the time we reach the lawyer cell we have been together for hrs… (Btw Shout Out To Azel Cs..Lower East side Boy…there isn’t a a bookings I’ve been in that he doesn’t have scratchies/ lighter tags u name it.) We go up to see the judge, some of his family was there and they’ve met me on different occasions…lol. So when they saw me there they thought we were co-defendants…hahahah…Let’s just say I wasn’t that welcome at the family house for a while…hahah.. #deadass… lol.

Anyone you want to give a shout out to?

First and foremost none of this would be possible without ME… So let me start by thanking myself… Big Shout Out To My Ace.. DIM TIS CSF… I never would of been in this game if it wasn’t for him… Shout out to The whole TIS Familia…SENO, SEAK, NEMZ CIR, and my nigga EONIS out in Atlanta… My 2dx family state to state…DEK, SMASH, SANS, RUKUS, MINUS, SNEK, Smirk, CRIS, ETHEK, REUP out in Baltimore and SKIZM… All My CSFamily…Brooklyn!!…GIGS, FRESH5, SLUE… All my WATCriminals…USEE, LEER, GASE EK, BIRD… My Dude RANT in Ohio… My Man CAKED WPK..”Aka” Brick Tosser…..The team is huge… Also Shout out to the homies EVAK, EGORE, CENT… My nigga OVER NFG… And Of Course The Great JIN’S 5MH…..Shout out to Queens… And Last But Not Least… RIP BAK ,RIP ZNO ,RIP PANAS, RIP YEAH ,RIP CEFR…. You’re truly Missed… We’ll paint again soon…..…I’m Out.