#I think someone asked if one of my sonas was wearing one a long time ago
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Some ace people usually wear black rings as a sign to show that they're ace!
Oh yeah, I do remember hearing that a few years ago! Nice to hear it is still around!
Giving 03012 a black ring was just bc I liked it, but now it has a new meaning hehe
(None of the clones know what sexuality is at the moment, since it is a very human concept, but they'll learn about it at some point hehe)
#oc: bean#sona tag#OC: Cas the Peppiclone#Bean looks weirdly tall but they are the same size as most of the clones#I just draw them compact most of the time#but yes I forgot the ace ring thing!#I think someone asked if one of my sonas was wearing one a long time ago#it's my fidget ring that I apparently have only portrayed Ben (fnaf sona) wearing jdfklfd#I should put it on the other Beans#also I did id as ace for a while but I have no idea what I am now jlfdkjfd#but it's okay!!!
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MY TF2 FURRY HEADCANONS đĽđĽ[LONG POST]
NOTE: PLEASE BEAR IN MIND THAT IN CANON THESE ARE A BUNCH OF GROWN MEN IN THE 60S AND NATURALLY THIS WILL HAVE SOME LEVEL OF OOC CONTENT. HOWEVER TRUST MY BEAUTIFUL MIND. I WILL GROW SOMETHING GOOD IN THIS GARDEN. THE DIFFERING COLORS ARE FOR LEGIBILITY AND NOT TO SHOW WHAT TEAM.
SOLDIER : soldier does not know what a furry is. he has a fursuit. he calls it his battle armor. its awful. it reeks. its handmade. possibly made using real fur. hes infamous at every con in the country. hes banned at the one in teufort. he uses his suit to blend in with the other con-attendees because he thinks they are actual, real anthropomorphic animals. he identifies heavily with his fursona and draws it frequently. PYRO : pyro SCOUT : hates them with a passion but if you ask him why he just says 'i dunno.. i just think its kinda weird'. probably out of some desperation for peer approval. but also at the same time itd be really funny if he just didnt care. pick your poison DEMO : demo is like "aye thats a wee bit odd" and then gets in an argument with scout about what his fursona would be because scout is like "with your halloween costumes i thought youd love being drawn as a hyena" (its a maned fox) and then he gives a long drunken (argument goes on for a long time) speech about why hed be . like. a cu-sith or something. ('those things aint even real' 'yes they fuckin are mate ive seen one with me own eye') . if he actually saw someone in a fursuit depending on sobriety and their sona he either wouldnt really care because people can have hobbies or he would start acting buddy buddy because he mistook it for the wulver HEAVY : heavy doesnt really care for that kinda stuff. doesnt see the point in wearing animal suits unless you are camoflaging among the bears in the siberian wilderness in order to get their meat without gaining the attention of the mother. pyro draws him a fursona once and hes like . mm. good. because bears are large and honorable creatures. SNIPER : sniper is a man who lives alone in a camper van whos job is sitting still all day. he would be a furry. see my vision boy. itd be some weird animal too like a reptile or something. he wouldnt be loud and proud about it. he dreams scout finds out in the way a bully finds out about the protagonists dark secret in a high school drama movie and then tells everyone else and then they kill him with hammers and he wakes up in a cold sweat. ENGINEER : engie doesnt bash it because hes glad folks have their hobbies and he can admire the creative skill and ability of the community. pyro draws him as a beaver sometimes (non anthropomorphic, just a beaver with a hardhat, goggles and overalls) and he doesnt mind and it starts becoming his favourite animal because of that. i dont think he'd ever really directly identify with the community though. probably calls them 'furbies' from time to time because he forgets the word. SPY : spy thinks theyre all degenerate freaks and is happy to loudly claim this. he has several incredibly expensive suits and attends cons frequently. hes been here for years. he tries to sneak around it and deny anything to do with them but the team Knows. they all know. MEDIC : i honestly didnt know for him. other mod suggested he has an awful flesh homunculus fursuit that lives and breathes on its own. you crawl inside and its sticky and wet and warm and pulses. doesnt even have anything to do with the subculture.
#I WAS THINKING ABOUT USING THIS BLOG FOR THINGS LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE NOW#ALSO THE OTHER MOD HAS BEEN DOING LIKE#ALL THE INCORRECT QUOTES AND I FEEL BAD I NEED TO CONTRIBUTE#mod soldier#tf2#tf2 soldier#tf2 demoman#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#tf2 medic#tf2 pyro#tf2 sniper#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#team fortress 2#ITS INCREASINGLY OBVIOUS WHO IM INSANE ABOUT BY THIS POST ALONE#IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FEEL FREE TO ADD THEM#I LOVE YOU#long post#tf2 headcanons
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Sona?
Part 2 (prequel to kill lady)
__________________________
An: 3 weeks later...sorry okay I'm sorry but yeah okay I don't have an excuse, the first half was hard to write and the second half I wrote in one sitting so yeah- well enjoy (this is a mess I'm sorry)
Summary: they see each other for the first time and can't take thier eyes off each other
__________________________
She put a hand against her forehead imitating a shield in hopes that it will protect her from the mighty sun
She wasn't used to Bangalore's weather but one thing was clear, her gaze shifted down to look at herself
The saree was not a good decision
She was told to disguise herself to the point where nobody should even think that she could be capable of kill someone
A white saree and her glasses that she wore after a century felt weird but they were perfect to portray her as the innocent lamb
But an assassin always knows
You can never really hide your true nature
This is what she was born to do
What she was taught to do since she was a child
She stood patiently despite the sun hurting her eyes, tapping her feet against the pavement she looked back at her hotel
She was just a few steps away from the entrance waiting for her employer- or rather his son she was told?
She checked her watch for the millionth time taking deep breaths to keep herself calm while she looked down the road in anticipation
She got a call this morning telling her to get up and dressed, they were going to see him today
She didn't think much of it, thier sources told them that they guy the hired to kill the previous owner had decided to take the throne for himself
Her job here was to eliminate that threat to their throne
Should be easy enough
Her curiosity and impatience was growing with each passing second
The winds blew with the screeching of the tires as atleast ten luxury cars came into view making her tap her foot against the road waiting as she slowly lost patience
About four cars passed her the fifth one stopping near her, she glared as he rolled the window down
Her jaw clenched, knuckles almost white as he looked at her raising an eyebrow as to why she wasn't already in the car
He looked her top to bottom, inviting his own death "get in the car will you, we don't have all day" he said wearing his sunglasses back
The tone in his voice implied that he owned her or something, she took a deep breath
These rich kids really needed someone to knock some sense into them
Just a pair of tweezers and she would show him what begging for death feels like
She gave him a tight smile opening the door and getting inside
She wasn't hazel
I'm a professional
Yes professional. She repeated again and again in her head
But kamal had much a punchable face she was genuinely curious as to how he had survived this long, especially with a personality like that
"They sent you?" He said eyeing her up and down again making her clench her jaw as she flashed one of her business smiles again
"You have read my file yes?" She asked with a smile that did not quite reach her eyes
Why him? Couldn't they have sent someone decent?
They were really testing her
"I don't think you'll be able to do that job" he huffed a laugh "i mean look at your fragile little self" he shook his head "koi tumhe kyu bhejega?" He said
She smiled looking at her hands in her lap "kyunki tumse tumhara kaam nahi ho raha"
The roads weren't the best here and she wasn't exactly a fan of them but they were working in her favor today
As a bump in the road approached she dug her heal into the car mat while his forehead hit the shearling wheel making her smirk as she looked out her window
The sun still shined high as she looked at the unfamiliar land they were approaching
Giant rocky mountains, nothing but dust and dirt
No sign of life
Her eyes turned to him with a questioning look on her face
Deep breaths maya deep breaths
We don't kill our employers
There was noticing in sight
The place was a dead land
She had half her mind thinking this was an ambush ready to pull out her knife at any point, but why?
An involuntary gasp escaped her lips
Her eyes almost popping out at the sight infront of her
She had tried to paint a picture in her mind about what this place would look like
Nothing could have prepared her for the sight before her
Did mines actually look like this? Her eyes ached from all the dust flying off with the cars but that didn't stop her from looking out the window
How could she get herself to stop when
It was a whole another city
In the middle of nowhere
She was after a man that was sent to kill the owner of this place
Alone
A single man killed the holder of the throne in his own territory
She had more respect for him than these incompetent people who couldn't do the job themselves
If she had morals she could never bring herself to kill that guy
But alas
Money concurs all it seems, And she had a job to do
She liked power
And someone who was able to acquire so much of it? She was sure she would like him too
That's part of the reason to took this mission
He was a challenge she was sure she would enjoy
The car stopped making her look up to see an impressive maybe a little too excessive mansion which seemed more like a castle from where she stood
Her eyes shined with delight at the sight
They got out of the car making her return to her senses
She was still mesmerized by it all but she had better things to worry about at the moment
She adjusted her glass hitching them higher on her nose while he stood near her fixing his suit
"Yeh sab" he pointed at the castle infront of them "mera hai" he smirked making her huff out a laugh
She liked people who had determination and confidence
But this guy? He was overconfident
If he could have all of this then they wouldn't have needed that guy or her for that point
They came to a stop near three much older men, two of them eyeing her like she wasn't from earth
"If anyone can do the job it's her" Andrews assured Kamal and guru pandiyan who looked maya from top to bottom
He scoffed looking at andrews the disappointment clear on his face, he turned to her "you think you can take the one who challenged us all?" He huffed walking ahead
She took a sharp breath letting her hair rest on her back, the old man with a cross nodded at her as if telling her it was time to become madhura
She huffed shaking her head
They were making it seem like she didn't know how to do her job
The were all so worked up, the nervousness was clear on thier faces even with thier best attempts to hide it
"We let him do the work for us and will now shoot him to claim what is ours" he chuckled
She frowned but kept walking
They all walked up the stairs, she curiously eyed the people standing with thals waiting to welcome them
Distracted with them her ankle twisted but she caught herself with the railing, the giant staircase truly made her realize how hard it was to walk in a saree
"Main kuch madad karu?" His voice made her face scrunch up as she stood tall once again
"Tumse?" She chuckled passing him up the stairs
Sure she couldn't kill him but there was no need to make nice with incompetent people who can't do thier job right
He snarled while she walked up the stairs with ease, one of her hands on the pleats of her saree to keep it out of her feet
"Jis chattan ko toodna tha sirf uski mazbooti ke bare main soch rahe the, lekin usse toodne wale hathode ki mazbooti ab pta chal rahi hai"
"Ab uss hathode ko kaise toodna hai uski soch" the older man said making maya frown as she looked at the other two
She wanted to hear more
She wanted to know more
Who was he? What did he want?
Usse bheja tha garuda ko marne par vo gya tha kgf lene?
Was it wrong that she was starting to admire him? She would still kill him so there was no harm in that correct?
They reached the doors with 4 men around them holding guys, sweeping past them they shifted inside the room with dark walls, a conference table in the middle of it with a window overlooking the empire
It was like a breath of fresh air looking over such a well crafted structure
Folding her arms across her chest she stood there infront of the window
This is what they are willing to kill over?
She smiled, she must say they had good taste
Who wouldn't kill for this
The sound of the helicopter made her look over her shoulder towards the door
Not wanting to move from her stop
Not wanting to stop
Wanting to know everything
She gave up turning towards the door awaiting the man's arrival like the rest of them
The anticipation was killing her as the door opened revealing the bright light
She shielded her eyes but couldn't help but look
The black suit came into view making her eyes shine
She couldn't quite make out his features due to the limited lighting in the room but she could see him
Everyone stood and watch as he came forward reveling himself entirely taking a few steps towards her making her rise a brow as a curve appeared at the corner of his lips
He came closer
And closer
Walking a circle around her holding her eyes as he sat down at the head of the table
Her eyes were on him while everyone else's were on her curiously watching as to what that little stunt of his was
If only she knew
"Hey Deva dekhna iss kursi ke liye koi aur sar na kate" his voice came making her turn and stand next to the older men
One of the workers came forward towards the man in white "rocky, garuda ko marne wala yahi hai" she eyed them but he caught her attention once again
She could feel his gaze on her
Making her look up at him
He smirked but it was shortlived as her eyes shifted again taking in her surroundings
So they hadn't seen him before?
"Aare basa re basa darr aur izzat toh dil main honi chaheye" the man at the top of the table flashed a charming smile making the corner of her lip turn up
He truly was something else
This was going to he fun
She stood next to the men sitting infront of him fixing her glasses better on her nose
The small bowls of fire were the only thing providing the much needed light to the room
She still couldn't see him properly
It bothered her a little
She wanted to know more
She wanted to know everything there was to know about this guy
It wasn't common for someone to peek her interest like this
But he was different after all
Everything about him was different
"Aare sabke thobade kyu latke hain? Jaghan ke liye naya hu, field main nahi" a smirked touched his lips
"Aye ek gya toh doosra aake baith gya isko khokho samjha hai kya" Kamal spoke making her eyes turn to him
So he wasn't all talk after all
"Hamare baap logo ne apna saamrajya mehefooz rakhne ke liye he hume paida kiya hai koi bahar wala aake baith jaye aur hum ghaas cheelte baithe?" He leaned back his jaw clenched
She rubbed her forehead
His annoying voice made her head hurt
Why couldn't she just put a bullet in his head again?
The other man on the other hand looked like he was enjoying playing with these people like his puppets "nepotism? Yeh kya ho raha hai hamare desh main jahan dekho recommendation, donation, domination, influence, ghoos, baap ka naam ab gareeb ke bache kya kare, mehenat karke first rank lane wala kya kare, bina ghoos liye kaam karne wala officer kya kare, hal chalane wala kya kare, AKELA GHUS KE SAR KATNE WALA KYA KARE" he let his fist hit the table leaning back with fury in his eyes
"Merit se aae hain bhai aapon ko bhi thoda respect de na bhai, tumhare baap logo ne sab sahi kiya, lakin ek mistake kar di, tum sabko mere time par paida kar diya, main raaj karta rahoonga tum sab ghaas cheelte rehana hun? What do you say sona?" He looked at her noticing her smile
She looked away for a second but when turned back his eyes were still on her
The smile on her lips vanished but it was too late he had already noticed it
Noticed her
Their eyes met his looking at her like she was something else he could take over and hers looking at him amused
"Kon hai tu?" An amused smile broke out on his lips as he frowned not being able to place her
There was no way he would forget someone like her
She looked at the male in the white for an answer "hamare liye kaam karti hai" he nodded making the man at the top of the table frown
"Dekha nahi kabhi?" He asked tilting his head to examine crossing one leg over the other and leaning on one side of the chair
"Abhi join kiya hai" the older male spoke for her
"Naam kya hai tera?" He raised his eyebrows leaning against the table his elbows on each side of it
The man was about to speak for her again but he stopped him, shaking his head he pointed his finger at her
"Madhura"
she spoke and something inside him snapped
It was as if he didn't expect her to actually speak
"Madhu" he repeated a smile streched out on his lips
"Mere liye kaam kar, bohot danger hai yeh sab log" he spoke smiling "aur vaise bhi itni badi company chalane wale ko ek company toh chaheye na" a sinister smile broke out on those lips
"You are my entertainment sona" he said making Kamal get up his jaw clenched "aye bass kar bohot charbi chadhi hai tabse dekh raha hu kutte ke tarah bhooka ja raha hai, hamari ladki ke bare main baat karega" that made her head snap in his direction
Since when was she their girl?
She looked at Andrews eyes burning with fire making him back up a bit as he nodded putting a hand over his arm "kamal kya kar raha hai baith ja" his panicked voice did nothing for him to back down, it was like this guy had a death wish
"Vo teri entertainment hai kya vo? chup baithe hain toh zada he foodak raha hai" maya took a deep sigh knowing what was about to happen
She didn't care enough to stop it but it seemed Andrews cared a lot
"kya kar rahe ho baith jao" he spoke again but went unnoticed
"Apni aukat janta hai tu? Bombay ki galiyo main shoe polish karke chillar pe jeene wala keeda hai tu" the man tried to stop him again getting up but he pushed him down
Maya frowned looking up at the man again
Was he truly who kamal said he was?
Did he really manage to get all this while being that person?
Did a simple guy went from polishing shoes to sitting on the throne of one of the most powerful empires in the world just like that?
If there was a doubt before it was clear now
The respect she had for him increased and the urge to kill Kamal intensified
"vo hai teri aukat, aapne uss din rok diya isiliye aaj hamare saamne rob jama ke baitha hai" another guy from the side tried to stop him aswell putting a hand on his arm calling his name
Why did everybody care about this guy so much? If someone wants to die this much let them
He shoved the guy off "don't touch me jiski jo aukat hai usse vahi rehena chaheye kooda khane wale kutte ko singhasan par bitha ke khel dekh rahe ho hun? Us bin bach gya aaj nahi bachega iski maut mere hatho hogi ISKI MAUT MERE HATHO HOGI-"
A gun shot was heard stopping the guy from saying anything further
Maya stood there unfazed she knew this was about to happen, infact she was waiting for it
She looked down as a pool of blood started to form at her feet
Tsk my saree, she stepped aside holding her pleats as to not get blood at the bottom of them
She took a deep breath looking at the man who did this
She was truly grateful
It wasn't exactly ethical to shoot your client so it was good that he did it for her
The silence streched out in the room as everyone looked at the body on the ground
But her eyes were only on him
"Kidhar tha main?" He said still holding the gun up, the rest of them turned to him listening carefully as to what he was going to say
"Entertainment haan you will be my entertainment sona" he put the gun away getting up from his chair
"Aye kahi nahi jayega tu" one of the older men said making the guards behind point thier guns at him for even suggesting that
But he stopped them "aye aye aye aye kya re partners hain re aise ek ek karke udh gye toh dhanda kon Sambhalega"
The space fell silent again as his eyes reached her again making her look at him
The older man spoke again "garuda ko marne ke liye ek rocky paida kiya toh iss rocky ko marne ke liye ek aur rocky paida kar sakte kya"
The man infront of her smile his face scrunched up
"mera baap se he nahi hua toh mere baap ki kasam kissi se bhi nahi hoga" he faced him
"one and only piece" he smiled putting on his sunglasses as he walked out
He walked out leaving everyone in the room stunned looking at each other's faces
Hoping one of them would say something
Do something
The body was dragged away
Andrews looking at her making her nod as she made her way out
Now was the time
What she had been waiting for
A smile streched out across her face
This was gonna be fun
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@vijayasena @meenammaisslay @kalavathii @mahi-wayy @o-merebholebalam @hum-suffer
Did I forget anyone? I'm so sorry if I did
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đ˘đ¸ Spiderverse hc: Giving them flowers with GN!Reader đ˘đ¸
*Shrugs* I think their neat and I have no creativity to make my own spider-sona so I offer this instead đ
No warnings, Just fluff, Can be read platonically or romantically. Remember, friends can give each other flowers and its not gay to kiss your homies goodnight.
End report
Ask Box open đ
Playlist I listened to while writing this: https://youtu.be/LWqT5xWzQ2k?si=_mFj6LztUIBaZWOr
youtube
~Maldo
đ¸ď¸ Miles Morales đ¸ď¸ (In a universe where he joins the spider-society)
~Itâs been a busy day combating the anomalies sprouting through the multitude of universe. And with the spot still heavily on the lose and hiding within those thousands of universe⌠Letâs just say its been a hard day for a young man named Miles Morales
~His in the lunch room scouring for something to snack on before Miguel sends him on another goose chase or finally decides to send him home for a few days. Miles becomes a bit startled when he feels a soft pat on his shoulder. Too distracted in his own mind to have realized someone was approaching him.
~Oh, (Y/N)! Hey, sorry I didnât see you there.â He chats with them for a little while before realizing theyâve got a hand hidden behind their back. Though he can clearly see the red and black roses peeking from behind their back. âWhatcha got there?â
~(Y/N) smiles, claiming they found these roses during one of their patrols and decided they were just right for him. Theyâd noticed Miggy (A nickname they call him just to get on his nerves) working him especially hard these last few days and wanted to give him a pick me up.
~Placing the roses in his hand, Miles is speechless. His never really received a full bouquet of his own aside from his family members. He stares at the petals for a long while. He can smell the black spray paint on some of the petals and it makes that much more special to him that (Y/N) put in the small detail to match his suit. This be far puts the pep back in his step.
~âWow! Thank you (Y/N)! Itâs great! Iâll make sure these donât get ruined.â
~He gently places them in his locker until Miguel does send him home. And one he does arrive home, he has his mom help to put them in a special flower vase on the kitchen counter.
Mrs: Morales: âThese are pretty Miles! Que lindoâs! Who gave them to you?â
Miles: A friend *smiles*
đ¸ď¸ Gwen Stacy đ¸ď¸
~(Y/N) and Gwen arrange to have a friendly outing on a particular warm day. She texts them shes at the shop they decided to meet. After a few minutes of them going without a response back, she starts to look for them. Quickly spotting the back of their shirt/jacket/cloak/etc. they normally decide to wear. They seemed hunched over a bit, focused on something out of her sight.
~âHey you, I sent you a message- What are you doing?â (Y/N) makes an attempt to cover up what they have like a child caught with something they arenât suppose to have. Even so, Gwen easily spots the blue and pink hues covering the tips of their fingers. She lets out a soft chuckle with a raised brow. âBusy?â
~Unable to hide it any longer, (Y/N) reveals the white rose with messily done spots of blue and pink through the petals they wanted to give to Gwen as a surprise. âFor me?â She takes the flower gingerly into her hands and admires the work. Being as friends are hard to come by for her, she canât help but instantly swing her arm around (Y/N) shoulder and bring them in for a half hug. âYou too much you know that? But I like it! Are there mooore flowers? Come on! I wanna make you one too! Got any more markers?â
~She sticks the flower in her hair to keep it safe from being damage. Then takes the next few minutes to make an equally as messy flower made of (Y/N) favorite colors. âThere! Now we match!â
~After the outing, Gwen places the flower in a cup of water. Even after the petals have long dried she keeps them in a special box she opens from time to time. She really cherishes the object and the petals still carry a sweet scent.
Hobie Brown:
~On a random Tuesday afternoon when (Y/N) is hanging out with Hobie at his place (Where ever that might be). Perhaps (Y/N) ran out to replenish snacks before some friends came over for movie night. One the way back, they saw the yellow roses of sitting in the garden of a government building and well⌠the rest is history.
~Upon returning, Hobie hears the door opening. He sits up from his place on the couch and goes to meet them.
~âTook you long enough, I was about to go and look for you myself- Whatâs that?â
~When (Y/N) explains the roses and where they got them from a wide prideful grins appears on his face. âSo you jumped the fence and ripped them right out of the ground. Thorns and all? Good on ya! I knew you were a rebel on the inside.â Brings them in for that friends side hug and a ruffles their hair.
~Hangs them upside down somewhere in his place. (I donât know to me that just seems like something heâd do) And keeps them for as long as theyâll stay intact.
~When he sees them hanging, a fond smile aways appears on his face.
Pavitr Prabhakar: (Thses flowers are more in symbolizem to innocence and a purity)
~Pavitr and (Y/N) are out on patrol together in some form of dimension, keeping an eye out on for anomalies⌠but anytime with Pavitr is a time spent with much laughter.
~Theyâll be on opposite sides of of the city but clogging up the com lines with jokes, banter, and some genuine talk about life. Pavitr is actually in the middle of explaining something and patiently waits for (Y/n) to respond back to him. However, when the silence become a bit to long, he parks himself on a building. âHello? (Y/N)? Are you alright?â
~He breaths a deep sigh of relief when (Y/N) voice finally comes through. âYou were starting to scare me! Donât do that!â (Y/N) might have to spend a few extra minutes coming up with an explanation as to not ruin the surprise they have. Though he may question why they suddenly want to meet up with him. His mind immediately making assumption that they might be hurt and need help.
~And yet again his relieved to see they are unharmed. (Y/N) instantly present the basket of white flowers to him. The flowers are practically glowing under the moon.
~âFor me? Oh my goodness! (Y/N) you should have! But thank you! Wow! These are so elegant! Letâs run to my house so I can put them away properly. Shhh! Donât tell Miguel!
~He places the flower on the window seal in his kitchen as he feels it really brings the room to life and he can gaze upon him every morning when he has chai with his family Whaaat i had to sneak it in it was my favorite part of the movie-
đ¸ď¸Miguel OâHara đ¸ď¸ (I love this grumpy cat-)
~Itâs been several days since Miguel had gotten a decent nights sleep. The screenâs were greatly starting to burn his eyes to the point they were watering if he gazed upon them too long. Begrudgingly, he was forced to walk away less his eyes balls literally felt out of his skull.
~He sluggishly made his way to the cafeteria to refresh himself with a warm cup of coffee and some warm food to settle his belly. Hoping it would help him feel better. Though, it seems it only takes one particular person, about the only person he can tolerate in the later hours perks his mood entierly.
~He welcomes them to sit and chat for a moment before he has to return to his work, as much as he dosenât want to.
~Before he does go, (Y/N) presents the arrangements of marigold flowers to him. The petals are a bright orange and blooming beautifully. At first, Miguels at a loss of words. His nimble fingers reach out to take the arrangement and bringing it closer to him. The sweet natural scent of the flowers hitting his sense like a truck⌠His never received flowers like this beforeâŚ
~Then, the ghost of a small smile up lifts the corners of his mouth. Suddenly the dark circles under his eyes donât seem so deep. âT-Thank you, Este es un regalo maravilloso (This is a wonderful gift).â
~Bidding them farewell, Miguel carries the flowers back to his working area. Before doing anything, he finds a place for the flowers to safely reside in, but in a place he can still see them from time to time.
~And its just like that his screens donât seem to be such an eye sore anymore.
#across the spiderverse#into the spider verse#miles morales#miles morales imagine#miles x reader#gwen stacy#spider gwen#Gwen imagine#Gwen x reader#hobie brown#atsv hobie#hobie spiderverse#hobie x reader#astv hobie#maldo#pavitr prabhakar#atsv pavitr#spiderverse pavitr#pavitr x reader#pavitr x you#miguel o'hara#atsv miguel#miguel x reader#miguel x you#fan fiction#writers on tumblr#spilled ink#imagines#fluff#miguel spiderverse
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Y/N! These are my designs for Y/N to create a sense of continuity lol so I can still use some descriptive words lol
Hey! I have more information out now about them and their partners!
Iâve nicknamed Y/N after what pet names theyâre called. So it wouldnât get repetitive with Y/N and Iâm taking these to be as Gender neutral as possible. But there are only so many names T~T
left to right- top to bottom:
Starshine and Sunshine for Classic
Buns and Hunny for Underswap
Doll and Prince/ss for underfell
Darling and Angel for Swapfell
Lamb and Sugar for Horrortale
Boba and Cocoa for FellSwapGold
under the cut for more!
In a perfect world- I would have a more feminine and a masculine one. But unfortunately I am but one person and 24 designs is a lot T~T so I went for smth androgynous. Though- I wish I could do all of them with hairstyles in both feminine, Masculine, and in both white and poc hair. I have such cute ideas T~T but again- time lol (feel free to ask what they are tho lol)
I tried my hardest to make these match the skelly of choice best I could lol, they're at least color picked lol. And these are supposed to be them like, within the first while of reseting underground. So what they look like for majority of the story. Though I think some of them need a bit of explanation lol (Like the horrors)
And actually, I had done what was at the time, my sona, long time ago in outfits pretty close though mine were a bit feminine to be nuetral. So I actually had some designs in mind when I started! And the nicknames are based on ones I already had in mind lol. So technically Skelly matches Y/N not the other way around lol.
I'm also making these with the assumption they live in Snowdin and it is cold. So that's why it's all pretty covering.
Ok now onto the individual commentary lol
UT:
But ok having matching space names with Meteorite is so cute is it not??? And obviously you're his little starshine <3. I love that I got to incorporate the fluff from his hoodie strings with the earmuffs. I think thats cute <3 and I almost made them pink lol, but to match I went with that grey lol
Sunshine's also a good one, because I think to match up, or even keep up with Rocket you got to be pretty upbeat lol, so Sunshine fits perfectly, and still vaguely matches lol. The outfit is also pretty solid! Still color block
US:
Buns <3 I think Buns and Lucky match pretty well, since Buns is close to and/or short for Bunny, and Rabits foot being Lucky- pretty close match! (Also if you use Bunny, Lucky, Bee, and Hunny, they all almost rhyme lol) But another sporty type! Or again at least upbeat! So a kind of joggers outfit so they don't freeze lol, tho Buns seems like an airy kind of person tbh, so light clothes above ground lol
Hunny and Bee just made so much sense lol, almost a no brainer. Even better, Bee is a super domestic type, so he would so call his S/O Hunny, idk why I chose to spell it Hunny, but I did and it stuck lol. I also love the parka for Hunny, I know the more obvious choice would be for doll, but I think it works well for Hunny and Bee's cozy vibe <3
UF:
Doll- this is one of the names I know is a bit feminine, but idk what else to really use? Shadow is the type to call you 'Doll, Sweetheart, ect' but Sweetheart didn't seem like a good nickname, so I went Doll. And with Doll's design I'm still a little ehhhh on, but it needs to be gender neutral so it's what I got lol. Originally Doll had an off the shoulder sweater, with the same knitting's pattern down the front, so I had to bring up the neckline lol. But in turn I did give Doll thumb holes in the sweater so like only their fingers show through the top of the sleeve cuff <3 Oh and the collar is to match a head cannon that I like about collars in fell culture showing that someone is taking care of the person wearing it. S/O would be given one quickly to help keep them safe.
Prince/ss was another one that was little difficult, but I think the slash fixes it- at least imo if y'all think otherwise lemme know lol. But Knight is very chivalrous and formal lol, so only the fanciest nicknames for his beloved <3. The outfit was easy though lol, with the general characterization I have for Prince/ss, being that overtime underground they become confident and capable to handle themselves with training under Knight, something bold and kind of aggressive was right for them. Prince/ss has a collar for the same reason Doll does.
SF:
Darling~ easy name choice, something sweet and classy lol matches Chardonnay just right lol, maybe not in theme, but in style. Their outfit was a little more difficult to do so it was different enough from Chardonnay but still matches, and is gender neutral lol. But I settled for tying the jacket in a knot at the waist. If I wasn't jsut doing half bodies rn- I might of made them a small top big pants lol, but also cold lol Darling has a fancy collar lol, Chardonnay is big into jewelry, so obviously he only gives the best lol, it's also got silver and some metal in it to match him lol.
Angel was also a pretty easy name, Silver thinks very highly of his S/O and that they're much better than he deserves, so Angel was a fitting name. Now their outfit was also pretty easy- but I do have some story with it lol. So I've mentioned Silver's underground issues, in the skelly intro post. So underground he's pretty distant underground, doesn't even really believe you're there. So it causes a little heartache, and you're mostly assisted by Chardonnay (who is happy to help the person who got his brother clean at one point-) Angel does have a collar but you can't quite see it, but it's a small thin black one from Chardonnay.
HT:
Now with Lamb things get funky lol, the name was pretty easy, it's not my favorite one, but I think it works lol. But they're already so torn up??? The way I'm setting HT is that they get in some trouble on the way back to the HT bros house, and with Lamb finding Pumpkin quickly they get out better than Sugar. Still scarred but not as bad.
Sugar however was not as lucky- it took Sugar longer to find Muffin, though they did find Muffin first as both brothers were out that day. And Sugar got into more trouble for longer and lost an eye. (Just an aside- but any hairstyle with Sugar has the hair pulled back on the side with the good eye so they can see as much as they can) Sugar's name is cute tho <3 Muffin- even tho being affected by the 'food' is still very sweet, and will still call you sweet things <3 and obviously food is very important to the HT bros so its a high compliment too lol
FSG:
Boba- this one took forever name wise, I thought about smth like Champagne for awhile, but thought it was too many wine names lol. I also tried bubbles or bubbly to reference Champagne but it never worked. I thought about coffee or things like juice, but settle on Boba, like Boba tea, so all the FSG people have drink themed names lol. Outfit was easier though lol, Long overcoat to keep warm, and basic black shirt and dress pants to be formal but still neutral.
Cocoa was an easy name, I thought of it one day and it stuck so hard lol, and it's so cute along side Coffee Bean <3 Outfit I saw while looking for an outfit for Boba and went Oh!!! Cocoa outfit!!! lol It matches Coffee super well too I think <3
Whew! All the Y/N's done! Again feel free to ask questions about their story, personality, ect! Though I hope to make posts about it, these posts take a long time lol (I might roll them out based on AU to make it easier lol) But happy to have these done and out there! :D
#ut au#bad reset best outcome#Y/N#sans x y/n#papyrus x y/n#Undertale#Underswap#Underfell#Swapfell#Horrortale#Fellswap gold
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Oughhghh been thinking about petplay recently, specifically with the 2nd beastkinsona I conceptualized for that Kabru fic. A little bit of backstory I made for them because itâs kinda relevant to the dynamic: this sona is mixed with a shapeshifter (the ones that read minds and create illusions out of leaves). They saw the people that owned them as their family, but knew because of their mind reading abilities that the feeling wasnât mutual, even though they were outwardly very affectionate to Shifter, praising them, giving gifts, etc⌠They only did this as a means of keeping control over them. Shifter is convinced for a long time that they can earn genuine love from them if they keep using their powers for whatever unsavory things they ask for, before eventually being like âfuck these guys, actually. They only love me for my cool and awesome mind powers and illusions. Iâm out of here.â
Anyways, Shifter meets Kabru and IMMEDIATELY dislikes him because they can see how he sees them in his mind, and it doesnât match how he acts towards them, and it reminds them of their âfamilyâ. They canât stand his fake ass. But then when their annoying self-absorbed ass actually manages to pull a genuine reaction of distaste from him, they have to pause and evaluate some things about themself because why was that kindaâŚ.. 𼴠cus theyâre so used to being spoiled that itâs like theyâve never considered that someone could be condescending or mean to them, so theyâre completely caught off guard by how it makes them feel. Shapeshifters (at least in comparison to other monsters) seem pretty cowardly, and I think that bleeds into their personality. Theyâd submit embarrassingly quickly if Kabru decided to stop playing nice with them.
And I think it would feel pretty empowering for Kabru to have a monster submitting to him. He could buy them a collar and they would wear it in public shamelessly. I donât think anyone would even think anything of it because they already have a pretty eccentric taste in fashion. I normally enjoy imagining myself in a more dominant role, but something about this gets meâŚ. Okay, yap over, sorry lol
-star anon
NOOOOOOO,,,,,LOVELOBE LOVE,,,the idea of being a spoiled beastkin esp one that can read minds waaaaah,,,,and like??? Being more into negative reactions versus positive onesâŚJUST. YES.
ageeed I am usually a pretty firm dom/top but being stepped on and used and degraded. Is hot. Consider Kabru bottoming with them having a collar on w a leash and heâs yanking on it to control their thrusts and. Yeah.
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YEEEAAAHHH OMG ALL YOUR HEADCANNONS ARE REALLY GOOD! đ¤ŠAnd I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT MOFO IS SMART ENOUGH TO POSSIBLE BE A LITERAL DOCTOR EITHER. Everyone at the hospital thinks heâs just here waiting for someone or to flirt with the nurse when reality he goes nerd mode and is really good at his job also. And writing stuff about Epic has to be the worst and best at the same time??? He is so funny but also cringe. AND ABSOLUTELY NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME THAT HE WOULD NOT GIVE THE DUMBEST NICKNAMES EVER-
With his s/o he would also probably compare there relationship to a fictional couple like âweâre just like ___ and ____â𼰠depending on what show he is forcing you to watch (he def takes his partner to anime conventions also) AND he uses those cringe Japanese terms like yandere and tsundere and baka but mostly ironically, AUAUAGAH HE IS SO đđđđđđĽđĽâźď¸âźď¸âźď¸
I could ramble about him all day but I think thatâs enough simping, but itâs just heâs so auaghaugah. THE OLD COMICS YUGOGEER MADE ABOUT HIM ARE ALSO REALLY GOOD, FOUND ONE WHERE HE IS WEARING AN ANIME SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT! Most of them are deleted and it makes me so angry like ggrrrrr. I had to scroll through the depths of an old tumblr account to find them all, I saw so much fontsecst⌠I saw the comics, but at what cost? đđđ
OH AND BACK ON TOPIC, THE HEADACHE HEADCANNON FOR EPIC IS CHEFS KISS!!! Never even thought about how technically all his power is stored in that socket, and it must really hurt him. Mah poor boi đ AND SANSES WITH GLASSES ARE THE BEST! Error does have glasses canonically I can confirm. One sans that wears glasses could also be NIGHTMARE. I think this because he has all that goop in front of his one eye and also since he has been around for a loooong time, which could play a part in bad eye sight. And itâs also funny to see him all grandpa mode EHEHEHH!
I APPRECIATE THE EXTRA PICS OF THE CROCHET BOIS, TYSM! They are the DEFINITION of scrunkly đ AND CRAM AND JAM ARE AAAAHHH!!! Those names make me wanna go crazy. I want the LOOOORREEEE! I can be MatPat and you can be Scott Cawthon and this could be like fnaf if you get my super duper awesome metaphor! đđđ
And are legiterally so cool fr fr. Kissing you platonically also đ MWAH! Love seeing your rants and headcannons omg, Iâm not going anywhere anytime soon! đđđ sorry for very very long ask just realized I went kinda off the rails here lmao
anon don't apologize for the long ask im in love /p
BYT AUUUQGQGG DINT EVEN TALK ABOUT HIW EPIC USES THOSE ANIME TERMS.. youre mad at him for something and he calls you a tsundere AS IF THATLL MAKE ANYTHING BETTER.. BABE I WANNA BEAT YOU STOP TALKING LIKE THAT OMGG but we just like that anime couple he said we were like fr idk i zone out when he turns on anime
BAJSNKSNSK THE FONTCEST im so sorry.. the lengths youll go for epic đđ
nightmare deffo has glasses because he is literally a grandpa. he needs his spectacles to see. he can't tell his gang apart otherwise (we aren't talking about canon here ok i love murder time trio theyre soso silly and special to me :3 ) because they all look the same LMAOO
OMG FNAF REFERENCE âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸âźď¸ OK OK OK CRAM AND JAM LORE!!! they had an old "owner" who was lowkey kinda neglectful.. bitties are sentient so OBVIOUSLY they can just take care of themself, right? pfft, yeah. so anyway one day they're taken out on the town with their owner and they're trying to come up with a PLAN on how to escape and find a better life (cram was, anyway) and jam just saw my sona (who has other bitties too btw.. i like to make a bitty anytime i get merch of a character like keychains/pins/plushies etc.. it's kinda cringe LMFAOO I LOVE BEING CRINGEâźď¸âźď¸) and he's just like "wow that person could take care of us" so they're STOW AWAYS!!! hence the names cram and jam because they crammed and jammed their way into my got damn pockets đ
I AM GLAD YOU ARE HERE TO STAY !!!!!! answering asks is like enrichment time in my enclosure BAJSKDKCKF
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Hoi Hoi!
I don't know if we have time since the EBG is ending, but if time permitted, I would have loved to have the chance to explore and fish around the little nuggets you dropped for what happened with You and Ayato and how Venti got involved.
I think the Delusion idea is pretty inspired, and considering how in canon, they were widely available in Inazuma, that's such a fun idea to throw into an EBG scenario. I really want to know how the whole thing came about and what happened storyline wise, both from an in-universe explanation and from an ooc one.
There's so many questions I have, and while I don't know if they'll ever be resolved this go around, from what I've seen of your blog's storyline, it sounded like it was going to some interesting places.
So this is your stage.
If you wouldn't mind, I would love to hear more about what you had planned and your storyline. How did you envision what happened during this EBG?
And thank you for playing along with the Ayato sabotages. :)
WAAAAHH THANK U 4 ASKING NONNIE!! and ofc!! since u asked, i'll ramble on LMAO
it's utc bc it's a bit long (plus there's mentions of self-h-rm, f1res & bvrning, bl00d, d--th, injvries, and t0xic manipvlation!! please view at your own risk!!)
so, to startâ my sona's (i'll be referring to myself as that for now if u don't mind!) plan was to quietly settle down in mondstadt with venti and at least try to love him wholeheartedly till the end of the ebg .. but, well, that didn't work, considering the asks (and letters) i got from others that made me falter and that plan went to shit.
venti noticed, burned down the estate out of fear that i'd leave too soon and got jealous because this was the time allotted for him to receive be loved truly and purelyâbut that got sliced in half; switched my vision with a delusion to stop me from leaving (it was the same one as my og dendro one so i didn't know it was a delusion, which was why in vi's đ anon ask there was a snippet of dialogue where my sona was very confused because why would venti call this a delusion when it looked like my vision? keyword; looked).
i fainted because i used the delusion too much and lost a lot of blood (when my sona's anxious, she h*rts herself to focus on the pain then heals with her vision, which is why she wears slightly long gloves), then he tried burning the estate, injured ayato in the process, which got me a letter from ayaka telling me to come over (to which i hesitantly agreed to, scared because one, i don't know this woman (a few of my past memories were blurred because of overusing the delusion), and second, i, ironicallyâdon't like seeing people injured). i stopped getting asks (letters) abt it, but if i did get more i would've played along further and would've gotten close to ayato through the child in this anon's ask, healed his wrist, and would later be locked returned back to mondâwhere venti would fully answer the letters in my stead because again, too much use of a delusion can cause someone to age and die.
if you still see this nonnie, feel free to ask more questions n stuff, and i hope you enjoyed the ride dshjsdhjskaaskaskas >:D!!!
#tw manipulation#tw fire#vi look away#vi don't look#nonnie#ebg stuff!!#tw death#tw blood#tw injuries#if u ever do still ask abt something anonâi'll be sure to answer them as best as i can!!#and hehehehe#the sabotages were rlly fun n masochistic so yea they were right up my alley LMFAO#there were some that made me cry tho#hsdfjhdfsjhksfsks i was so close to giving up n just saying bye bye to the ebg 4 ayato#but i'm glad i pulled out lol#the punishment is BRUTAL FDGSFHKFJKSAHJHJKDAJSHKJKAKJHHJA#anywho#thanks for asking abt the ebg lore of me blog nonnie!!!!!#hope this isn't too long or anything ... wuyhdsusdsjjsdhkhsdsjhdssjajas
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đŁď¸ talk about your Sona
Cracks knuckles
I was gonna write a blurb but I just. I wanna yap. so you get that instead. (Also I am so SO sorry this took this long to get to you!!)
yapping commences below the break!
AJ, as a character, is so COMPLEX. He goes through so many character arcs by the time he's in his early twenties, and his story is far from over at that point.
He relies on his mothers and siblings more than he cares to admit. He relies on his wit and knowledge and when all of that can't help him, he is truly terrified.
Thanks to his godly heritage; his physical appearance has non-human attributes. namely, his eye color and snake-like pupils. He has Heterochromia. His right eye is red, and his left is a dark cyan. (specific, i know, but all my personas have this trait! it's like...my thing) Other than the snake-like pupils, AJ is thin- he stands at about 5'7 in height; and his presence is unsettling, almost. He's always cold, so he's always seen wearing sweatshirts or sweaters. He has talons for nails on his hands, and his teeth are sharper than average.
by the time he's fully grown, he has more non-human traits than human traits. and that, is all thanks to a specific god who took special in AJ.
some of that complexity that I absolutely adore comes from his feelings towards this god. He appreciates the set of abilities given; but he's faced people who's called him terrible names and done terrible things to him just because of something he can't control.
SPEAKING OF THAT, Shout out to AJ's big brother, Marcus. (He's only about a year or so older than AJ)
Marcus has been a recurring character already in SoTFD, but know you're getting to know him from AJ's perspective- you're seeing Marcus from someone who knows him. Marcus, to AJ, is someone he can turn to when he has absolutely no one.
because Marcus grew up being there for AJ. He's said, "If you think you have no one, you're wrong. you have me."
AJ is not the man he is without Marcus. It is VITAL that Marcus is there because if he is not, AJ is not even human anymore. he succumbs to the negative slew of actions and words given by a specific set of people, and he becomes this... inhuman thing. there's no explanation for it other than He'd be better off dead than becoming that.
AJ isn't that though. He's a kid, who adores reading and writing. a kid who's been dealt a rather shit hand of cards, and he's doing everything to make the best of it. He is a momma's boy (despite denying it at every opportunity). He cries at the dog in sad movies. He loves, and feels and he's human. He wants to be a dad, and have a big family, just like the one he grew up in.
His favorite greek myth/epic to read is The Odyssey (yes, he ADORES epic the musical). He's cried over Achilles and Patroclus (yes, he read TSOA, he was inconsolable for WEEKS). This guy's just a guy!!! and I haven't even gotten to his husbands yet! or his sons!
His husbands and sons, though... that's a whole other post for another time. I could talk for hours about them.
anyways, all this to say....
Alexander Jason Wayne, they could never EVER make me hate you.
also! If you wanna learn more about probably one of the most complex OC/sona's I've made, just send an ask!! I will answer just about any question about him!!
#stories of the forgotten demigods#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson fanfiction#my percy jackson ocs#heroes of olympus#writing#percy jackson oc#pjo ocs#Sotfd ask game#emoji ask game#writing asks#I yapped#Chronic yapper#PJO persona#My sona#my persona#self sona#sona#yapping about my sona!
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2022, a Year in Review
Over 2022, I've gotten to know so many wonderful people! I've tried to thank everyone I've gotten to know better one-on-one, but I also wanted to kinda write up a collection of my thoughts now that the year is ending. Though for the purposes of this, I'll go back a little further.
For a long time, I kinda denied being interested in the furry fandom, and a lot of things about myself in general. Toward the end of 2020, however, I grew frustrated and alone due to isolation, so I decided to explore that aspect of myself. I had always heard about Telegram being the "furry" chat app, so I decided to finally download it, join some groups, and see where it took me. It was fun, though it definitely led to a lot of heartbreak as well as happiness. I met some truly wonderful people on there that I still talk to to this day -- Friede, the "kind, but takes no shit" deer; Cotton, the jackalope with a heart of gold; Jay, my favorite cat who has been a stalwart and supportive ally; and so many others.
It was almost a full year later, near the tail end of 2021, that I began to realize I wasn't quite as straight as I thought I was. I had seen and enjoyed art and videos and such of men, but I had never really been attracted to any actual men so I kinda just put it out of my mind -- after all, who cares if you can be turned on by men if you're not interested in dating them, right? If I had to put a label to it, I guess I just assumed I was bicurious but heteromantic. But some of the people I met quickly showed me how wrong I actually was, as I ended up crushing on guys for the first time and really having to think about what that meant to me. In the end, I finally landed on "pansexual and panromantic" -- I can be physically attracted to, and have romantic feelings for, anyone regardless of their gender. Not long after that, I also came to the realization that a lot of my friends were transgender. And of course, I realized that didn't make me trans by association, but coming hot off the heels of the latest revelation, I decided to ask some questions. I had always counted myself as an ally, but growing up in the Conservative Deep South, I never really got any real exposure to it beyond what was on TV, which (let's face it) is basically nil at best and harmful at worst. So I asked questions. And I listened. And I thought long and hard about what they said. Things I thought were just the "normal" part of life -- being disgusted with your appearance, actively avoiding being in photos, despising your voice⌠suddenly I was able to put names to it all -- "dysphoria." On the opposite end of the spectrum, isolation had given me an excuse to grow my hair out, something that I had longed to do for most of my life. And between wearing a mask and having longer hair, clients at work (and even my coworkers) started calling me "ma'am." And it felt amazing. So, I decided to try it out in private. I asked some of my friends if they could use different pronouns with me, and ended up realizing that I really liked it. It made me feel like me.
I continued being in the furry community after that, of course. I hadn't really decided on a design, but decided my sona would be a crow, as I really liked birds (thanks to someone I fell for playing FFXIV) and just really liked crows! They're clever as hell! I ended up adding a bunch of birds on Twitter after kinda watching their accounts in private. One of the first of those was Xythiel. I saw a post he had made on Twitter that he was streaming on Twitch, and I was kinda curious! I had watched my fair share of Twitch in my day, but not really any furries. And I knew Vtubers were a thing, but as far as I was concerned, those were basically all just anime women. So I decided to hop in and watch. He was playing Untitled Goose Game, which I had played recently and thought I could enjoy watching again. The chat wasn't super active, unlike some of the "normie" streamers I had watched before with hundreds of viewers, so I decided to kinda chat a bit, maybe give some hints when he got stuck, make some jokes, laugh along⌠It was an absolute blast. And so I kept coming back. I've made so many wonderful friends there that I really cherish. Dynso, Malar, Variable, Sam, Bunger, and so many others. Y'all have made me laugh so many times I can't even put it into words. I look forward to every stream, and I still get excited when he shows me something he's been working on in OBS, whether it's a sick new layout or a kickass DoDonPachi-styled raid alert. Honestly, he's a freaking OBS wizard. Of course, my Twitch journey didn't end there. Xythiel would frequently raid other bird-tubers at the end of his streams, so I quickly began to accumulate quite the list of PNGtubers and Vtubers. And every single one has been an important stop. Between BB and his excellent art, Yrie and his spooky aesthetic and (by extension) his mod Greenie who has been so very kind, Spikey who my may not be a bird but deserves lots of pets⌠I enjoyed every one. Then one evening, after a stream, he raided Loki. And we hit it off immediately. Or at least I'd like to think so. I had recently started HRT to pursue my transition, and she was a fellow transgender bird, so it just seemed perfect. Her streams are just so very chill and open, typically featuring real-talk and flirting in equal measure (although sometimes less so, hehe) while we listen to music and she works on her art -- all while Loki's pigeon sona herself undergoes various transformations from her magic, usually to comedic effect. I instantly just felt like it was another home for me. I truly value my time spent there, and I don't see myself leaving any time soon. One other streamer who we raided in to was Cider, who was playing a VR minigolf game upon my first visit. Cider's streams are⌠not Loki's. He has LOTS of OBS bits with lots of sound effects and zooms and all sorts of effects. People frequently come in and describe it as a live YouTube Poop. And in a way, that's honestly the best way to put it. It's hilarious. If nothing else, Cider is a goddamn entertainer. He has such a fantastic sense of humor and I honestly think he could make a monk who had taken a vow of silence have a full-on conversation because he's just so easy to talk to. In addition, through his streams, I met so many wonderful people that I love talking to every day. Between Shadraw, Same, Slayer, Spowte, and so many others, Cider and his Disclord (or now ŕśisclord) has been another mainstay in my daily life. I've also spent a lot of time recently watching Trending, whose frequent (and famously extended-length) streams have been an excellent source of laughs recently⌠even if he DOES kill his coworkers often during Phasmophobia.
2022 was a year of Self-Discovery for me. There's so much of my identity that has developed this past year, thanks in no small part to the friends and communities I've been a part of. It was also a year of discovering homes -- not just one, but many places where I feel appreciated and welcomed. And so, to everyone mentioned here. To everyone I wanted to mention but didn't include (just to keep this at a readable length). I just want to say that I appreciate and love you all and look forward to exploring 2023 with all of you.
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Possible meanings of Chain of Iron snippets
Yes, this is going to be a long post.Â
I didnât put all teasers here only those where I could actually come up with something.
Alastair looked amused. âNever before have I heard such a concise statement of the ludicrous philosophy with which you and your school friends go through the world.â
So, Alastair is definitely speaking to one of the Merry Thieves
probably James, since Al and Matthew arenât on the best terms and conversations between Thomas and Al would go in another direction (either fighting or with way more feelings)
it seems like James and Alastair are on quite good terms here if Alastair isnât snappish and shows his true (happy) emotions
Anna was fortress-surrounded by her friends: tall, handsome Thomas; Christopher, who shared his sisterâs stern delicacy of feature, peacock Matthew, who always looked as if heâd just rolled out of an unmade bed piled with silks and velvet. And Eugenia Lightwood, who hadnât bothered to take off her canary-yellow gloves or hat, as if she were ready to run out the door any moment.
They all eyed Ariadne suspiciously as she approached Anna. Anna didnât seem to see her at all; she was leaning back with one booted foot braced on the wall behind her. She was all lean black and white lines, her close-fitting jacket following the outline of her slim curves, her head thrown back as she laughed. Her ruby pendant glimmered in the hollow of her throat.
Keep your head up, Ariadne, she told herself. You can do this.
âHello, Anna,â Ariadne said.
First of all, Eugenia is in this group which is interesting regarding the main characters in Chain of Iron
Is Eugenia part of the main group? Has she an important role to play? (we are supposed to find out the reason why she is disgraced)
We have Ariadneâs pov here, so she might play a big role too in Choi, at least we will have more of her and Annaâs relationship
Also, she calls Matthew âpeacockâ which is so accurate and funny!
Alastairâs gaze flicked to Matthew. âWhy,â he said, âare you not even wearing a hat?â
âAnd cover up this hair?â Matthew indicated his golden locks with a flourish. âWould you blot out the sun?â
Okay, Matthew and Alastair arenât brawling which is a good sign
Also, where are they? There has to be a good reason if both of them are attending and standing next to each other
Iâm guessing theyâre outside since theyâre supposed to wear hatsÂ
The brave princess Lucretia raced through the marble halls of the palace. "I must find Cordelia," she gasped. "I must save her."
"I believe the Prince holds her even now, captive in his throne room!" Sir Jerrod exclaimed. "But Princess Lucretia, even though you are the most beautiful and wise lady that I have ever met, surely you cannot fight your way through a hundred of his stoutest palace guard!" The knightâs green eyes flashed. His straight black hair was disarranged, and his white shirt was entirely undone.
"But I must!" Lucretia cried.
So, the main thing I want to point out here is that Lucie is crushing so hard on Jesse!
and does she picture him with an open shirt or am I reading too much into this?
James spoke at last, and there was real kindness in his voice. âYou must give people time, Alastair,â he said. âWe are none of us perfect, and no one expects perfection. But when you have hurt people you must allow them their anger. Otherwise it will only become another thing you have tried to take away.â
Alastair seemed to hesitate. âJames,â he said. âDoes he think ââ
Soooo, James and Alastair are friendly now? (please, please, please)
And who does Alastair have to give time? Matthew or more likely Thomas?
Also, James is one eloquent babe
âI know that youâve been doing something â something youâre keeping secret. Iâm not angry,â Cordelia hastened to add. âI Â just wish youâd tell me what it is.â
Lucie tried to cover her surprise.
it was about time that those two speak about all their secrets! They want to become Parabatai for Razielâs sake!
but I have the sneaking suspicion that Lucie is going to deflect the question or is going to make something up to avoid telling the truth
(please let me be wrong)
âAlastair! Cordelia!â A familiar voice bellowed up from downstairs.
Sona went white and laid a hand against the wall to steady herself. âElias?â
Iâm not sure about you guys but going white and bracing oneself against a wall doesnât seem like someone is happy
So, I guess Sona isnât really happy that Elias is back
is there another reason besides the drinking why she isnât
and is Elias mad at his children? I mean he is bellowing
also why is Elias mad at all? All his charges were dropped and he is a free man once more
Cordelia shivered a little, though it was not cold in the room. âThere is something weighing on you, Matthew,â she said gently. âA secret. Will you tell me what it is?â
She saw his hand go to his breast pocket, where he often kept his flask. Then he lowered it stiffly to his side and took a deep breath. âYou do not know what you are asking.â
âYes, I do,â she said. âI am asking for the truth. Your truth. You know mine, and I do not even know what makes you so unhappy.â
Cordelia told Matthew everything about her father and maybe about her feelings for James
if weâre lucky Matthew tells Cordelia about the poisoning and someone can finally help him (I think CC said that Matthew would tell Cordelia everything in Chain of Iron, hopefully thatâs true)
also, Matthew doesnât want to drink after Cordelia told him the story about her father
Matthew also found out why Alastair had been so mean in school and that Matthew can't really partially blame him for what happened with Charlotte
Jesse glanced out the window. They were passing through Piccadilly Circus, nearly deserted at such a late hour. The statue of Eros in the center was lightly dusted with snow; a lone tramp slept upon the steps below it. âDonât have too much hope, Lucie. Sometimes hope is dangerous.â
âHave you said that to Grace?â
Jesse shook his head. âShe wonât listen.â
is there a possibility that Lucie wonât try to raise Jesse from the dead and instead tries to stop Grace from doing so? (the parallels between this and qoaad are uncanny)
I donât think that there is anything that will stop grace from trying to perform necromancy other than force
âIâve been trying to hate you,â Thomas said quietly, âfor what you did to Matthew. You richly deserve to be hated for what you have done.â
Alastairâs dark eyes glittered. âIt wasnât just his mother I slandered. It was your father, too. You know it. So you donât have toâto act all high-minded about this. Stop pretending you are only upset on behalf of Matthew. Hate me on your own behalf, Thomas.â
he is calling him Thomas!!! Ahhhh! (so theyâre probably alone)
Thomas doesnât really hate Alastair at this point but also hasnât fully forgiven him
at least he hasnât thrown Alastair into the themesÂ
maybe Thomas is trying to suppress the fact that Alastair also wronged Thomasâs own family and itâs easier for him to direct his attention to Matthewâs family?
His golden eyes were fixed on her, fierce as a hawkâs gaze. She said, "It doesnât matter what I said. I wanted them to leave you alone â"
"I donât believe you," he said. She could feel the slight tremors running through his body â tremors of stress, that meant he was holding himself very still. Holding himself back. "You donât say things you donât mean, Daisy â"
Okay now, what did she say? Iâm guessing something quite flattering or that she loved him maybe?
also, who didnât want to leave James alone? Some bigoted Enclave members?
is James trying to fight against the braceletâs spell? Or is he breaking Cordeliaâs heart yet again?
James closed his eyes. Against the back of his eyelids, he could see the city take shapeâthe minarets flung darkly against a blue sky, the silver river. Cordeliaâs voice, low and familiar, rose above the clamor of his nightmare. He followed it out of the darkness, like Theseus following the length of thread out of the Minotaurâs labyrinth. And it was not the first time. Her voice had lifted him out of fever, once, had been his light in shadows. . . . A sharp pain spiked through his temples. He blinked his eyes open: he was firmly back in the present, his friends all looking at him worriedly. Cordelia had already moved away from him, leaving behind the lingering scent of jasmine. He could still feel where her fingers had rested against his shoulder.
JORDELIA! (Sorry; I just had to get that out)
What city is this? One in a demon dimension?
And does James have some kind of visions now? Interesting...
I love the connection between James and Cordelia
Apparently, the gracelet is trying to suppress James's feelings and memories of Cordelia...but please tell me he notices here that he is in love with her?
Also, Cordelia is trying to stay away from James :(
Hands caught his wrists; he was hauled up roughly, an arm around his back. he smelled brandy and cologne.
âMatthew,â he said, in a dry voice. âJames needs water,â Christopher said. âDo we have any water?â âNever touch the stuff,â said Matthew, settling James onto the long sofa. He sat down next to him, staring so intently into Jamesâs face that, despite everything, James had to stifle a laugh. âIâm fine, Matthew,â said James. âAlso, I donât know what you expect to discover by looking into my eyeball.â
Okay WHAT IS UP with James in the latest snippets?!? I NEED answers!
Is James follwing in his father's footsteps? Regarding drugs you know...
Also, Matthew has a tendency to stare into Jame's face (not that I blame him)
Christopher!
Okay, I'm devestated that James knows it's Matthew because he smells of alcohol. I'm NOT okay!
Also, what kind of stuff is this?
âYou should have told us,â said Thomas. âWe would have helped you move your things. Iâm exceptionally good at carrying large objects.â âAnd think of all those hairbrushes you would have had to relocate,â Lucie said. âHavenât you got six or seven?â Matthew glowered at her affectionately. âI try to be at least as stylish as our local ghosts.â
I think it's clear that Matthew just moved and didn't tell any of his friends of his plans...Why Matthew, why?
Also, Thomas and Lucie are just so wholesome how they try to brighten the situation with their comments
Sooooo, is Thomas also good at carrying people *cough*Alastair*cough*, just asking...?
How many Hairbrushes does one need? Seriously, what kind of purpose do seven hairbrushes serve?
Don't worry Matthew, only Magnus can beat your stylishness
Thatâs all for now! Should I add anything else in your opinion?
#the last hours#tlh#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#Chain of Iron#chain of gold#chain of gold spoilers#choi#coi#chog#cog2#chog spoilers#teaser#snippets#alastair carstairs#thomas x alastair#thomas lightwood#jesse blackthorn#grace blackthorn#james herondale#lucie herondale#Matthew Fairchild#Cordelia Carstairs#sona carstairs#elias carstairs#christopher lightwood#merry thieves#eugenia lightwood#anna lightwood#ariadne bridgestock
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i am not a hero pt 2: all will be well
Part 1 | Fanfiction Masterlist | AO3
A/N: Sorry this took so long! Warnings: descriptions of racism, mentions of alcoholism
"Thank the angel you're all here," Cordelia exhaled as she arrived in the room about the Devil's Tavern. "Have you heard? Alastair was-" She stopped herself as she surveyed the room, registering the looks the Merry Thieves were giving her. "Oh, no. No, no, no." She turned to James. "Tell me you didn't have anything to do with this."Â
"Daisy-"Â
"Tell me!"Â
"I can't lie to you."Â
She stumbled backwards, her heart shattered. James reached for her, but she protested. "No! Don't touch me! You canât lie to me? All you have done is lie, apparently. You didn't... You didn't even tell me... I thought we were doing this together... I was such a fool.â
"Cordelia, you know we had to keep it from you," Matthew explained. "You're rather... overprotective."Â
She laughed. "Overprotective? I care for him, Matthew, because he's my brother. I know him as well as I know myself, though I understand if that's confusing for you, seeing as you've never had a brother worth caring for."Â
"Cordelia," James said sternly, a warning. "We understand that you're upset-"Â
"Upset? You have betrayed me! You could have told me the truth, and I would have helped you. I would have shown you alibi, I would proven to you with evidence that it was not him-"Â
"If there is evidence, it will be presented before the courts, and all will be well."Â
"You don't get it! You don't. You- I thought all this time that it was me. That I didn't understand the world or society or friendship or... marriage because I was raised isolated from the Clave by an inattentive, narcissistic drunkard." She enunciated each other her final words with all of the vitriol she'd been suppressing since her father arrived in London. "But I was wrong. It was you. You all... You live in a fantasy world, one that your parents created for you. And that's fine. that's good for you, I'm glad that the people in your life were capable and willing to do that for you. But the world does not work the same for all of us."Â
"Really, Cordelia? You wish to speak of the world and how it works for -- and against -- each of us?" Matthew challenged.Â
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. âWhatever do you mean, Matthew?âÂ
âYou, what? Donât believe we know what itâs like to be prejudiced against? Would you have said the same while Alastair himself was ridiculing James for his parentage or me for my⌠presumed sexual proclivities?âÂ
Cordelia gawked. "That was over four years ago, Matthew! He said foolish things and he regrets them, yet you continue to live in the past. Not only do you hold mistakes you all made as children over his head, but you dare compare your experience to his? You can go anywhere, do anything, without anyone knowing what you do with your nights. Perhaps you wear that carnation, but you can take it off, Matthew. So, Jamesâ eyes are golden. Tell me, James, when you were eight years old, were you kicked out of the general store because the townspeople believed you to be stealing for no reason other than your golden eyes?âÂ
James was silent.Â
âSo, please, tell me again how you understand what itâs like to walk in my brotherâs shoes.â She turned back to Matthew. âYou were given everything, Matthew. You have all the money you could ever dream of. Your parents love you unconditionally. You choose to live your life openly. Perhaps you should not need to choose, but you do, and it is a privilege to be able to make such a choice so freely, knowing that you will continue to be safe and cared for. Not everyone has such luxuries. My brother no longer even has a choice; you have taken it from him."Â
Silence had fallen over the room. The boys had always understood that they were very lucky in life, just as they had understood, on some level, the ways that their parents had been unlucky. However, it was easy to live a lucky life and forget to consider how those around oneself may not afford the same privileges. James looked to her finally. "What... What do you mean by that? What choice?â
She turned to him with a blank expression, then sighed. "I suppose the whole Clave will know soon, anyways. As you know, with the memory magic being used, the Clave needs alibis. Alastair has only got one, and I canât imagine it will end well for him." She turned to Matthew and sighed, "You and your brother have been given everything. I have no doubt in my mind that Charles will not be held at all responsible for the realities of their affair. He will continue with his life unscathed, to marry whomever he chooses, to obtain any position he chooses, to live whatever life he chooses, just as James would have even if he had not married me. Because that is how the world works. Alastair will be seen as the one who persuaded him into such proclivities.â She paused before muttering under her breath, âNot to mention that I haven't the slightest idea of what will happen when my father learns the truth.â She took a breath and continued, âSo, to make a long story short, James, no, I do not believe all will be well.âÂ
âCordelia,â he started, âyou must believe that we had no intention of exposing anyoneâs personal affairs. It was not personal at all; we are only trying to put an end to this mess.âÂ
âWell, congratulations, James. An innocent man has been arrested, your killer still walks free, and my family is in ruins. I believe you have accomplished quite a lot.â Her eyes scanned the room. Matthew looked to be in a state of shock, Christopher in confusion, but her eyes settled on Thomas, his head hung low, his face turned away. âI⌠I may not have expected this, but I can believe it well enough. But, you, Thomas? How could you?âÂ
He looked up at her, tears on his flushed cheeks. âCordelia, I-âÂ
âTell me, was any of it real? Did you ever truly intend to be my brotherâs friend, or was it all just ploy for your little detective game?â
He shook his head. âSort of, at first, but-âÂ
âI trusted you!â She yelled before restraining her anger. âHe trusted you. After everything, after Charles and- I thought that finally, finally my brother had someone in his life who was kind and gentle and caring. Someone honest and trustworthy, but it was all a lie. You used him, too.âÂ
âCordelia, I- Iâm so sorry.âÂ
âYou are not who I thought you were." Her words echoing ones that Thomas had once spoken. Unlike Thomas,â however, her realization held no trace of anger or upset. No, her words were spoken only in true fear.
Seemingly finished with the boysâ stunned silence, she took a breath. âIf you will excuse me, I must take my leave. James, my mother and I shall be staying at the Institute for the time being, so it would be in your best interest to avoid it as much as possible. Thereâs not much of a point in continuing this sham of a marriage, seeing as I havenât got a reputation to save, so I will write to the Consul first thing tomorrow morning requesting a divorce. Then, you shall have what you always dreamed: you will be rid of my family and I forever.âÂ
âWait-â James cried, his voice breaking.Â
âYou are dead to me, James Herondale.âÂ
Without waiting for a reply, she darted out of the room.Â
The four boys were left, staring at one another. Thomas unsuccessfully attempted to stifle his tears while James looked to be on the verge of a complete breakdown, his torso trembling.Â
âWhat, are you two bloody heartbroken now?â Matthew mused.Â
Thomas slammed his fist on the table loud enough to alert the whole establishment. âFuck, Matthew! Shut up!âÂ
âThomas, you found the bloodied dagger and Ms. Highsmithâs necklace in his bedroom yourself. We saw him walking around downtown the nights of the Gladstone and Beauvale murders. Whatever Cordelia claims, I truly donât think weâre wrong about this.âÂ
âAnd what if we are?â Thomas challenged.Â
âIt could have been planted,â Christopher offered. âAnd there could be many reasons that he was out those nights. After all, we were, too.âÂ
âWhich reasons, Christopher? Have you ever seen him in a bar? He doesnât even drink. Heâs hardly more than a lowly shut-in.âÂ
âHis father does,â James said quietly.Â
Matthew glared. âWhat?âÂ
âHis father drinks. I donât⌠I donât know a lot about it all, but it would follow that if Elias were out drinking again and did not come home, Alastair would be the one to go out looking for him.â
Matthew groaned. âFine, if we are truly pursuing this, then what? Weâve got maybe half a day if weâre lucky before Alastair is to go before the Mortal Sword.âÂ
âThen we have half a day to find the true culprit,â Thomas announced, regaining his resolve.Â
âIf Alastair is our only lead at the moment, we must pursue it,â Kit offered. âWho could have planted it on him? What motive would they have to frame him? Who would have had access to his bedroom?âÂ
âWell, I can answer one of your questions,â Matthew said nonchalantly. âWho wouldnât want to frame Alastair Carstairs for murder?âÂ
âMatthew, if youâre not going to be helpful, please be quiet,â Thomas said in his usual gentle but stern manner, though the complete opposite of the last time heâd asked his friend to be quiet. âSona is nearly always home; it would be very difficult for someone to enter the house uninvited and not be seen. As Matthew put it, Alastair is a bit of a shut-in, but heâs clearly been going out more, especially at night, since his father has returned. Sonaâs been having trouble sleeping as of late, though, so even getting access to his bedroom at night would be difficult. Theyâve only one servant, Risa, so thereâs truly not many folks moving about the house regularly.âÂ
âSince when are you on a first-name basis with Mrs. Carstairs?â Christopher commented in confusion, and Thomas blushed.Â
âWhat do you recommend, then?â Matthew asked.Â
âKit is correct, itâs our only lead. We must return to Cornwall Gardens. If weâre lucky, they may have left something behind, or perhaps thereâs some sort of record of visitors to the house.âÂ
James looked uneasy. âThis seems wrong. Maybe we can still go after Cordelia-âÂ
âThereâs no time, James,â Thomas admitted. âSheâs too angry with us. Iâm no happier about it than you are, but if there is any way that we could possibly fix this, we must do it.âÂ
He nodded. âLetâs go, then.âÂ
âWonât there be people at the house?â Christopher asked. âThe sun has not even set yet.âÂ
Thomas sighed. âCordelia is taking Sona to the Institute, and Iâd imagine Risa is accompanying them, at least for the initial journey until she is settled. Elias is just a risk weâll have to take.âÂ
As they ventured out, however, they were not even out the doors of the tavern before Thomas stopped in his tracks. If looks could kill, Matthew would have murdered Thomas several times over by now. âElias is here,â he whispered.Â
âWhat?â James narrowed his eyes.Â
âOne of us should stay here and keep an eye on him, make sure he doesnât return to Cornwall Gardens until itâs been cleared. Besides, I donât want him interfering with Cordeliaâs plans, either.âÂ
âAre you volunteering, then?â Matthew asked.Â
Thomas thought for a moment. âI suppose so. Iâve done my searching already; itâs better to have some fresh eyes. You and James know the layout of the house well enough.âÂ
âVery well,â Christopher declared. âThomas, I shall send you a magical letter when we are finished at the Carstairs residence.âÂ
Thomas narrowed his eyes with worry. âPlease donât. Iâm rather weary of fire.âÂ
âNonsense. The fireâs not important; itâs a magical letter.âÂ
âItâs a magical letter that you send by lighting it on fire! It should be called a fire letter!âÂ
âFire letter,â Christopher hummed. âNo, thatâs not quite right. No, fire message! I shall send you a fire message, Thomas!âÂ
âAlright,â Thomas whined. âYou all should go, we havenât got much time.âÂ
âThomas, are you sure you want to stay here?â James asked.Â
âIâll be fine. Heâs a drunk; Iâd be surprised if he even stood up before you lot were finished. I just want to make sure.âÂ
James gave him a short nod, and they took their leave. Thomas settled down at a corner table, pulling out a notebook from his pocket and pretending to be fixated on it while he kept his eye on Elias at the bar.Â
Just his luck, and much to his surprise, Elias stood to leave not long after the rest of the Merry Thieves had departed. Thomas waited for a moment after he left, and then went out after him. He stepped out onto the street, looking for a sign of where Elias had gone, but he quickly saw only darkness as a cloth was wrapped around his eyes and nose and he was subdued, quickly losing consciousness.Â
A/N: I also just wanted to clarify a couple of things, I believe that the Clave will come to certain conclusions and Charles will not refute them, not that he would create the lies himself. These conclusions make sense to me, not only because Charles is a white boy who is seen as an âinsiderâ (which they would try to rationalize), but because orientalist beliefs have hypersexualized the Middle East for centuries, associating MENA with âdeviantâ male homosexuality. This is believed to be one of the (many) reasons queerness is rejected so thoroughly in the MENA today, and I think itâs important to consider how ideas like orientalism impacted lives in historical fiction, although the concept had not been coined or studied yet.
taglist (lmk to be added!): @littlx-songbxrd
#cw alcoholism#cw racism#cordelia carstairs#alastair carstairs#thomas lightwood#james herondale#fanfiction#fanfic#anti charles fairchild#anti elias carstairs#carstairs sibling supremacy
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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 32
AO3
Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month
Previous Chapter: Chapter 31
Next Chapter: Chapter 33
Using what little time she could before they would enter the land of the thief, Lucie packed a small bag. She had no idea what sheâd need, but it was best to come prepared. Her power so far had seemed endless in that world, the biggest limitation was that using magic exhausted her and in the worst case sheâd pass out. The best sheâd thought of so far was to pack lots of sugary snacks for a quick energy boosts. Luckily, aunt Sophie still had a lot of cookies she usually fed to the gnomes and her father had several packages of dextrose. She desperately hoped it would be enough. She wasnât even sure if eating would help against the fatigue, but she didnât have a better plan. Power naps whenever she was safe had helped so far, but she didnât think she would find a safe enough place in the land of the thief, not with the schedule they were on.
Sheâd felt his power in that land. In between, there was more power, more darkness than here, and Lucie could harness it. In his realm, the power and darkness was even greater, even more unimaginable, but it was in his control. Lucie would have to fight him for dominance, and she knew it was not a fight she could win in the long run. Instead she would have to hold on long enough for Cordelia to use cortana and end his life.
Cordelia had packed lightly, only carrying a small bag with some food in case theyâd have to stay long and a bottle of water. Lucie herself had gone for a bottle of lemonade so sweet it would probably make her teeth fall out. Everything for the extra energy, especially after tonightâs less than ideal sleep. If theyâd had the time, Lucie would have chosen to sleep another night, but they didnât. If they acted now, Alastair could still be saved.
Lucie had to admit she didnât know Alastair as well as she wished. If only she could have foreseen he might do this, but it had never even crossed her mind. She didnât even know he knew how to summon the thief. In between her recklessness, Cordeliaâs heroism and Thomasâ stubbornness, theyâd all thought Alastair was the cautious one, the one who thought things through and didnât run into situations headlong. That was why, she presumed, her mother had urged him to be the voice of reason among the four of them. And she had a point, Alastair usually did think, but did thinking help when you started with some very wrong assumptions? Lucie did not think Alastair valued his own life very much. He would not risk her, or Thomas, or Cordelia unnecessary and that was why he was cautious, but he would easily sacrifice his own life because he didnât think it mattered. Lucie didnât even know where to begin with deconstructing such thoughts.
There were enough people Lucie loved deeply. Her parents, her brother James even if he annoyed her to death. Cordelia, of course. Thomas too. But she didnât think she could trade away her soul for someone, nor did she think that was the kind of thing people you loved would expect of you. If they did, they shouldnât, right? She imagined only selfish and horrible people would demand such sacrifice from the people close to them. Lucie would be horrified if anyone close to her would do this for her, and knowing Thomas, he would be too. Thomas already hated feeling like a burden, he hated it when people so much as inconvenienced themselves for his sake and Lucie expected he was going to be very upset when he found out what Alastair had done. Did Alastair believe that love meant sacrifice? She imagined perhaps being treated badly by people and being told that was love had caused him to believe that this was what you did when you loved someone.
âReady?â Cordelia asked.
She was still wearing the crown hair braid Lucie had done yesterday, and although it was looking a bit messier it still held and would keep any hair out of her face.
âI think so,â Lucie said.
She didnât feel ready, but she didnât have time to wait. She didnât think sheâd feel more ready if she did. If anything, waiting and not doing anything only made her feel more nervous. Better to get this over with.
âWhatever happens⌠In case we donât make it, or the darkness gets the better of you. I love you,â Cordelia said.
âI love you too,â Lucie said. âWe will make it. Think positive. Iâm sure thatâll help.â
Lucie struggled to think as positive as she wanted to. She knew it might not work out. She also knew the thief would have to be destroyed at some point. Her mother had lost her power and slept for 130 years just to seal him in, and if he broke through⌠Lucie wasnât sure what heâd do, but she imagined it would be bad.
âAre you ready, Lulu?â
It was her father, carrying one of Alastairâs dagger. âYou know, my offer to come with you still stands. Youâre far too young to go on such a dangerous mission alone.â
âIâm not going alone,â Lucie said. âIâm going with Cordelia. I think too many people would only make it more risky. Besides, Iâm the only one who has the power to get to him, and we donât have the time to wait until Iâm older, or stronger.â
âYouâre right,â Will said with a sigh. âI just got off the phone with James. Heâs on his way here too, but wonât be there in time to see you. But you could call him before you go.â
Lucie nodded, and took her phone out of her pocket, calling James. Sheâd have to make it quick, but if she didnât survive she would have at least said goodbye.
âIâm in the bus right now, so not the best place for a phone call,â James said. âIâll be there somewhere this evening. I hope.â
âI hope Iâll be there around that time too, but I canât make any promises,â Lucie said. âListen, I donât have much time. Daisy and I have to go, we have to defeat the thief of souls before midnight.â
âI still donât really understand whatâs going on there,â James said. âIâm starting to regret going on a holiday with Matthew instead.â
âDonât be sorry, Jamie,â Lucie said. âIâm glad you and Matthew had fun. It would have been too dangerous for you here anyway. I have my powers to protect me, you donât. I would even say, donât come here, but I know you and I know youâre not going to listen.â
âYou guessed that right,â James said. âIâm coming for you, Lu.â
âBig brothers are the worst,â Lucie said with a groan. âBut I love you, Jamie. I hope Iâll see you when you arrive. And if notâŚâ
âI love you too, Lu. I wish you didnât have to go.â
âMe too, but the thief has to be stopped, and if we succeed in time, thereâs still a chance Alastair will survive.â
Lucie didnât know what her father had explained about the situation with Alastair. She knew James still didnât like him, and she understood, but she hoped he would be a bit more empathetic now that he knew about the situation.
âDad told me about what Alastair did for Thomas,â James said. âI never knew he had it in him to do something so selfless.â
âI donât think he should have,â Lucie said. âI donât think Thomas would have wanted him to. But Iâm going to do what I can to save them both.â
Cordelia was signaling to her that they needed to hurry.
âI really have to go, Jamie.â
âCome back, alright,â James said before hanging up.
âJames?â Cordelia asked.
âYes,â Lucie said as they left, walking to the ruins.
She wasnât absolutely sure it was where the thief would be, but Lucie imagined it would be the best place to start their search. She desperately hoped he would be there. If not, she wasnât so sure how to find him.
âHow is he?â Cordelia asked.
âWorried. Also on his way here.â
âI hope thatâs not going to be too awkward,â Cordelia said.
âI think heâs pretty much over you and likes you better as a friend,â Lucie said. She hoped that was true. âMostly, heâs hoping we donât die.â
âMy mother lost it when I told her the truth. I didnât have the time to explain everything. She fears Iâm following too much into my fatherâs footsteps, but she is also terrified for Alastair, and very angry with him.â
âSheâs not also on her way here?â Lucie asked.
âShe is,â Cordelia confirmed. âRisa is driving her, sheâs in no state to drive herself right now. Theyâll also be there in the evening, I think. Apparently she considered coming before, but hoped Jem would make sure we were alright, and she wanted to give us space. Now thereâs a very real chance Alastair might die, and I think she blames herself. She tries to hide it, but she feels like itâs all her fault, that she didnât protect Alastair enough.â
âBut thatâs true, isnât it?â Lucie said and then she realized how insensitive that might sound. âIâm sorry. I didnât mean anything by it.â
âNo, itâs true. But itâs also not that simple, I think,â Cordelia said. âShe could have protected us better, and should have left Father much sooner. But she also loved him. He saved her life, thatâs how they met. He was traveling in Iran, hunting a rogue vampire that had killed several people. Father had chased it all the way from Greece to Iran, and then in Tehran it tried to kill maman and he saved her and finally killed the vampire. Thatâs how they fell in love. Or at least how she fell in love with him. And for a long time, she tried to deny the problem, she wanted to believe he was still the hero who saved her. And I cannot blame her for that. Nor does Alastair, although I donât think he understands how she could still love him. I think he always felt like it was up to him to protect her and take care of her and he did the best he could.â
Cordelia had started crying softly, and Lucie took her hand. She understood Sona a bit better now. Her father had also saved her mother from something dangerous once. Her mother had criticized his methods and his recklessness and Lucie had always thought that was terribly romantic. Many of her love stories involved her characters saving each other. Sheâd never considered how difficult it might become if your hero did change or had never been the person you thought they were in the first place.
âWeâre here,â Lucie said. âIâm going to take us straight to his realm this time.â
She opened the gateway and stepped through to the gates of a castle. It was exactly like the one sheâd dreamt off, this had to be it.
***
Thomas had no idea for how long heâd been walking when he encountered a castle. Time felt odd here, like it was slipping away with every step he took, like it moved sideways instead of forward. He gripped onto the few memories he had. He was Thomas Lightwood, and he needed to get out of here and get back to his family. He hadnât yet figured out who the girl with the light brown hair and the boy with the dark eyes were, but he knew they had to be important too.
He kept thinking of that boy most of all. He had to be important, with how often Thomas thought of him. And he was so beautiful⌠Golden brown skin, black hair and eyes, sharp, but delicate features. There was a certain sadness in his eyes too, and Thomas wondered why. Was it something heâd done? It had to be, why else would he remember the boy as being sad? Whatever heâd done to hurt him, Thomas needed to get back and make it up to him. If only he could remember who he wasâŚ
The castle looked vaguely familiar, built in what he guessed was medieval style. It wasnât a style he was particularly fond of, but he figured it was better to go inside than to keep wandering in the woods. Perhaps inside there would be some clues. Perhaps the dark eyed boy would be there, but Thomas didnât think so. He suspected that boy might not like the look of this castle that much either, although he wasnât sure why he thought that. Considering the clothes the boy wore, he expected him to have good taste.
Inside was empty. Thomas wandered through the halls and something about it was familiar, but he couldnât put his finger on it. Had he been here before? Thomas didnât remember much from before. He tried to think of the boy, unable to recall his name. Who was he? When had they met? And what had Thomas done to hurt him?
âWhy do you keep following me?â the dark eyed boy demanded.
Thomas wasnât sure how to answer. He had been following Alastair around a lot, because Thomas liked being near him, but he wasnât about to admit that. At fourteen, Thomas didnât think he was ready to come out and he wasnât sure how Alastair would respond if he found out Thomas was in love with him. Better to admire him from a distance.
âAre you going to answer, Lightwood?â he asked. âLost your tongue, perhaps?â
âIâm sorry,â Thomas said quietly, not meeting Alastairâs eyes.
âI didnât ask for an apology, I asked for an explanation,â Alastair said.
Thomas didnât say anything. He didnât know what explanation he could offer other than being in love with Alastair. He liked being near him, even if Alastair wasnât nice to him. Thomas had come to realize Alastair could be kinder when his friends werenât around and he suspected Alastair was afraid his friends would turn on him. Thomas wished Alastair would see his friends sucked, and Thomas would be kinder to him than they ever hoped to be.
âClive has been whispering,â Alastair continued when Thomas didnât say anything. âHe says youâre gay and thatâs why youâre so obsessed with me. I told him thatâs ludicrous, of course, but if you donât back off he just might start saying it out loud. You know how rumors can spread, you wouldnât want that, would you?â
Thomas didnât know what to make of Alastairâs statement. Was it a threat? A promise? A warning, perhaps? Thomas wanted to think it was the last one. Alastair might be mean and snarky, but he wouldnât out Thomas, right?
âListen, Lightwood, youâre nice. I canât for the life of me figure out why youâre so insistent on following me around, but youâre starting to attract the wrong kind of attraction and youâre going to get yourself in trouble. Just move along, go back to your stupid little friends and leave me be.â
Thomas hesitated. âAre you sure?â
âWhy wouldnât I be?â Alastair bit back. âI never asked for a little child to follow me around school.â
Alastair seemed upset. It wasnât the first time Thomas had seen him get upset, Other people tended to miss it and thought he was just mean or difficult. But his eyes were always haunted, and no matter how cruel his words were, he said then with sadness carefully concealed underneath that bitterness he showed the world. Thomas was worried about him. He wasnât so sure Alastair was alright. It felt different with him than the other bullies. Boys like Clive Cartwright seemed to enjoy themselves when they made fun of Thomas, they laughed. Alastair didnât, not beyond that wicked smile that admittedly made Thomasâ heart skip a beat. He didnât seem to have fun tormenting others, he didnât think it was funny. It was as if he wanted to drive everyone away.
âIs everything alright, Alastair?â Thomas asked softly. âYou seem very upset.â
âYou donât know anything about me,â Alastair yelled at him, raising his voice for the first time. âYou donât understand a thing. Get away from me, just leave me alone.â
Thomas couldnât place the memory in a context. Heâd been in love with Alastair then, and Thomas guessed he still was now, but he didnât remember anything that had happened after this. He wished he could remember, wished he could be sure Alastair was alright, but this had been years ago, and anything after was blank.
Thomas heard voices, both female. There were people in here then, and they were willing to speak at least amongst themselves. Perhaps they could help him find his way home. He was now certain that not only his family needed him, but this dark eyed boy as well. Heâd done something wrong, he felt. He needed to apologize, even if he wasnât quite sure what for.
He encountered the two girls in a long corridor. One had red hair and the same brown skin and dark eyes as the boy from his memory. Alastair, he reminded himself. His name was Alastair. He didnât recognize her beyond her similarities to Alastair though. The other girl he did recognize. Heâd seen her face too.
âThomas!â the girl exclaimed. âWeâve been so worried about you, thank the heavens we found you.â
She did know how him then, although he guessed that made sense if he could recall her face. She was a friend, right?
âWho are you?â Thomas asked.
The girl took a step back. âDo you not remember us, Thomas? Do all people here forget? Whereâs Alastair when you need him.â
âI do know my name,â Thomas said. âAnd I remember my family, and Alastair. I remembered your face as well. But I donât remember who you are.â
âIâm Lucie,â she said. âLucie Herondale. Weâre great friends. And you know Cordelia as well, donât you? Sheâs my girlfriend, although thatâs a pretty new thing and we havenât had the chance to tell you yet.â
Lucie did ring a bell. Cordelia⌠he wasnât so sure. He turned to Cordelia. âDo you know Alastair?â
âHeâs my brother,â Cordelia said.
She looked sad when she spoke of him, and Thomas wondered if it had anything to with what he must have done.
âYou look like him. Do you know where he is? I think I need to apologize to him.â
Lucie frowned. âWhat for?â
âI donât know,â Thomas said. âI feel he is very sad, and I thought maybe itâs my fault heâs so sad.â
Cordelia looked pained. âItâs not your fault, Thomas. You did the best you could. Heâs been through a lot in the past, and youâre right that heâs usually sad although he hides it well. I think thatâs why you remember him as sad.â
Thomas guessed that made sense. He remembered wondering at school, why was he like that, why was he so sad? His father had suggested once to invite Alastair over to their house, but Thomas didnât. They werenât actually friends, were they? He didnât think Alastair liked his presence at all, although now he guessed what Alastair had said had been a warning too, to protect him.
âWhy canât I remember?â Thomas asked. âWhere am I?â
âWe donât have much time,â Lucie said. âWeâll explain everything on the way.â
Thomas frowned. âWhere are we going?â
Cordelia sighed. âThatâs the thing. We thought he would be here, but thereâs no one here but you. Weâre looking for the thief, but if heâs not here weâre not sure where to find him.â
Thomas was even more confused. âWhat thief? What did he steal?â
âYou, Thomas. He stole you. Your soul, that is, and countless others,â Lucie said. âIf we do not find him and end his life, you will die and stay here forever.â
Thomas swallowed. He couldnât die here, he needed to find his way back to his family, to Alastair. He began to remember Lucie. He remembered reading bits and pieces of her writing, although she was very nervous about letting him read anything. He remembered playing video games together, discussing story ideas. Thomas was more of a song writer than a book writer than Lucie was, but heâd written some songs to go with Lucieâs stories. He didnât think heâd ever told her about his songs though⌠Why hadnât he? They must have really sucked.
âWhereâs Alastair?â Thomas asked. âShouldnât he be with you? And didnât you say we needed his help?â
âAlastair could help you with your memory,â Cordelia said. âBut we donât know where he is. Heâs in this world somewhere. He⌠he sacrificed himself for you. If we donât kill the thief soon, he will die.â
âFor me?â Thomas tried to imagine it, but he couldnât picture the boy from school doing such a thing. He remembered something more, going on a walk with Alastair which canât have been that long ago. Talking about all sorts of things. They were friends, maybe? Thomas didnât doubt he still loved Alastair, but wasnât sure where they stood right now. âWhy would he do such a thing?â
There were tears in Cordeliaâs eyes, perhaps Thomas should not have asked such a question.
âHe loves you. And he thinks it would be better if he died if that meant you would survive.â
Did that mean Alastair was his boyfriend? âBut I would never want that,â Thomas said. âI donât want anyone to die for me. I⌠I canât remember. Did I agree to this? Did I let him die?â
What sort of monster was he, if heâd allowed this? What had he done? Maybe that was what he needed to apologize to Alastair for.
âI donât think so,â Cordelia said. âI think he made this decision alone, and never told anyone. You were probably already here, or at least in a deep sleep, when he did it. Donât beat yourself up over it, it wasnât your fault. Lucie, any ideas to find the thief now? Can the other souls help?â
âTheyâre under his control,â Lucie said, âbut his power is spread thin. I think I can command some of his souls.â
Thomas wasnât sure he understood what Lucie was doing when she started speaking to the souls once they were outside. They came to listen. Something drew them there. Thomas wanted to listen too. He wanted to do as she asked. Perhaps he was a soul too. Lucie could see ghosts, he remembered. Sheâd always seen ghosts.
âI need you to find the thief of souls, and return to me. And if by chance you come upon Alastair Carstairs, bring him to me.â
âDo they know who Alastair is?â Thomas asked Lucie.
âThey donât, but I do so thatâs enough,â Lucie said. âThey take my commands quite well.â
âThatâs good news, but be careful with saving power,â Cordelia said. âYouâll have to keep everything at bay while I fight him.â
Cordelia was carrying a golden sword, so Thomas guessed she would be the one who could kill the thief of souls. To do that, they had to find him though.
âIâm not dead, am I?â Thomas asked.
âNot yet,â Lucie said. âBut if we donât kill the thief, you or Alastair will die.â
âIf he hides from you, does that mean you can defeat him?â Thomas said. âIf he believed he could easily win this fight, heâd confront you and try to kill you. If heâs hiding, that means heâs scared, doesnât it?â
âPerhaps, but Iâm counting on the worst until something proves otherwise,â Cordelia said.
âOr perhaps itâs because of the deadline,â Lucie mused.
âIt wonât matter to him if he dies now or tomorrow,â Cordelia said. âThe deadline matters for us, because if we fail Alastair or Thomas will die. But their souls have no use for him if heâs dead. Nor do I think one more soul will tip the scales and make him too strong to defeat.
Thomas, if we find Alastair, I must ask you not to kiss him until after the thief dies. Alastairâs bargain is fulfilled when he kisses you and then heâd die.â
Thomas longed to kiss Alastair, had for a long time, so he was glad for the warning. Would Alastair kiss him when they reunited, without telling him what heâd done, never giving him a choice? He didnât quite understand what Alastair had done, and most importantly, why. He would never have asked Alastair to die for him, he would never have wanted it. He wasnât sure how heâd feel when he saw Alastair again. He would be happy, of course, if they both survived, but he was also upset about what heâd done. He knew it was sweet in a way, that Alastair had done it out of love, but it was too much. Thomas had never wanted anyone to die for him, least of all Alastair.
#Lucie Herondale#Thomas Lightwood#cordelia carstairs#Alastair Carstairs#the last hours#Thomastair#Lucelia#fanfiction#tlh
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Hello, can you write a Thomastair based on the prompt where Alastair dies and Thomas thinks about their time together?? â¤â¤â¤
Of course I can! This is one of the ones I was actually excited to write because I know exactly what I want to write. Iâm sorry that is took so long but it hurt to write and I hope you like it!
I hope none of you hate me after this because this fic might hurt more than Castle Towers Fall, and thatâs saying a lot.
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Seasons of Love (Modern AU)
âFive hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a life of a woman or a man?â - Seasons of Love, Rent
Thomas could barely remember the funeral, it had gone in a blur. There wasnât a lot of crying, maybe Cordelia and Jasper (not that he really understood what had happened), but Thomas couldnât even recall if he had cried as well, he hadnât really even cried at all the past few days. He felt numb the whole time as everyone droned on and on about how sorry they were, how missed Alastair would be, how they could only imagine how he felt.
Thomas didnât even know how he felt. All he knew was that it hurt. Everything hurts. And unlike every time before that, Alastair isnât there to make it better. He didnât know if he was angry or sad, he didnât know if he was tired or hungry anymore.
Now he just sat there on the sofa, staring blankly at the wall, all alone in his and Alastairâs flat. James and Cordelia had offered to take Jasper for the weekend, saying it would be a good distraction for the both of them. After Sona had died, Alastair went to court to get custody over his brother, something Elias had detested and tried his hardest to fight. Thomas remember how the trials had been, how Alastair was barely grieving his mother in his haste to make sure Jasper wasnât ruined by Elias like he was.
Alastair was pacing the floor of their bedroom, to the point where Thomas was concerned for the carpet underneath his feet.
âCalm down, love, itâll be fine.â Thomas had tried to comfort from his spot on the edge of the bed, but apparently it was no use, because Alastair was still stressing anyways.
Alastair turned to him sharply, an unreadable look on his face. âBut what if itâs not, Thomas? What if they rule in Eliasâs favor? I wonât let my brother be ruined by that bastard, I wonât!â
âThey wonât. Once they meet Elias and hear yours and Cordeliaâs statements, Jasper will be in our custody, the lawyers said it would be an open and shut case. You know this.â Thomas had said calmly.
âBut they also said that Elias could have a chance, with what his lawyers have been spewing about us.â Alastair spat and Thomas sighed, knowing he was right. Eliasâs lawyers had pulled out all the stops in order to get Jasper. From saying Elias had successfully gone to rehab to saying Alastair shouldnât have Jasper because heâs his half-brother, not even really a Carstairs in according to Eliasâs lawyers.
Thomas then stood up, moving behind Alastair to wrap his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. âBut you and I both know that none of that matters. The judge will see through Eliasâs facade and Jasper will be safe, here, with us before you know it. I promise.â Alastair turned and buried his head in Thomasâs chest.
��Thank you.â he whispered but Thomas heard him.
âAnytime, my love. Anytime.â
And Thomas had been right, the judge saw right through Eliasâs facade at the last trial. Right after Eliasâs lawyers had said it wouldnât be beneficial for Jasper to grow up in a home with two men, instead of his own father. Needless to say, they had gotten to take Jasper home with them that very day. That was almost four years ago, even if it only felt like yesterday to Thomas. Alastair had only just been talking about what they were going to do for Jasperâs fourth birthday party, which Thomas didnât even have the heart to cancel now. Even if Alastair wasnât going to be there anymore. He looked around the room, at the photographs on the wall, all taken by Alastair, all of them amazing and special in their own way.
His eyes then focused on Alastairâs piano, just wishing Alastair come back and play it again for him. He could still remember the first time he had asked him to...
âOh come on Alastair! Please!â Thomas had begged one lazy Sunday afternoon. They had spent most of the day in bed, basking in the sunlight streaming through the windows and sharing lazy kisses.
âNo, Thomas.â Alastair had said and tried playing it off, saying that he was terrible at the piano, so bad that he would make Thomas deaf. But Thomas had said he would risk his hearing to hear Alastair play at least once.
Eventually Alastair had given in, rolling his eyes as he sat down at the piano bench. He took a deep breath before starting to play. It was simple, familiar tune that Thomas knew well. It was one of the first songs Thomas had sung to Alastair, an old Elvis Presley song, that Thomas had said reminded him of Alastair. And oh, Alastair wasnât bad, not at all. He was absolutely amazing as he played the keys with a practiced finesse.
Thomas couldnât help but sing the last line of the song as Alastairâs playing started to slow.
âFor I can't help falling in love with you...â he sang, moving to sit next to the other boy, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Alastair leaned into his touch, resting his head on Thomasâs broad shoulder. His eyes were closed and he was breathing softly, Thomas would have thought he was asleep if he hadnât just seen him playing.
âSee, Iâm terrible. I hope it was worth going deaf for.â Alastair whispered, eyes still closed. Thomas rolled his eyes and kissed the top of Alastairâs head.
âYes, youâre absolutely horrible, Lassie.â
That little routine played out almost every time Thomas asked Alastair to play for him. Alastair would refuse and say he was terrible and out of practice, Thomas would convince him with kisses until he gave in and played a song or two. The three of them would spend afternoons like that; Alastair playing as Thomas sang, Jasper clapping from next to them on the bench, always asking them to play nursery rhymes he learned at his preschool.
He shifted his eyes from the piano to the rings on his pinkie and ring fingers. He looked at them with a sad smile, bittersweet thinking about the wedding they were supposed to have. They hadnât told anyone their plans yet and hadnât planned to, which annoyed all of their friends and family to no end.
They planned to take a trip to Paris in June, Jasper included, and have a small ceremony there, something small and intimate. It was their favorite place after all and it was where Thomas had realized his feelings for Alastair the first time and the place heâd proposed.
âMarry me.â Thomas had said. They were sitting on the balcony of their hotel room, drinking tea and talking before bed. Alastair had paused, his tea nearly spilling on him as the mug wobbled in his shaky hands.
He looked over at him, dark eyes wide and unsure. Thomas hated when he had that look on his face, one that he knew must have been constant during his relationship with Charles. Alastair looked down at his mug of tea just as quickly as he looked up, whispering. âReally?â It was just loud enough for Thomas to hear the way his voice shook, as if he thought this wasnât real.
âYes, really. I want you to be my husband, Lassie. I want to be able to call myself your husband and say âYou see that beautiful man right there, thatâs my husbandâ. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, until weâre old and grey, and wearing adult diapers because we canât go to bathroom on our own anymore. I want us to have a family of our own, so Jasper isnât by himself when he gets older. I want everything and more with you, I want that more than anything,â Thomas stopped, moving to get the ring box out of his pocket. Heâd been carrying it around for months now, trying to get the courage to tell Alastair how he felt. âIâve been carrying around this ring for a few months now, waiting for the perfect moment to arrive and I didnât want to miss it. And now is the perfect moment. Because itâs just you and me in our favorite city in the world, and thatâs perfect for me. So will you, Alastair Jahan Carstairs, marry me, Thomas Gideon Lightwood and make me the happiest man alive?â
Alastair finally looked up at him, eyes filled with tears, some of them slipping down his cheeks. He nodded with a small smile, not trusting himself to speak just yet. Thomas knew full well that he had a stupid grin on his face that Alastair would say make him look like an idiot. Thomas stood up and gathered Alastair into his arms, kissing every inch of his face that he could. Alastair was attempting to kiss back but it was hard with the amount of smiling he was doing.
When they had both finally pulled back, foreheads touching, Alastairâs arms wrapped around Thomasâs neck while his arms were wrapped tightly around Alastairâs waist. They stood there, swaying slightly to a beat no one else could hear.
âThat last part was awfully cheesy, Lightwood.â Alastair teased lightly as he nuzzled their noses together.
âSoon to be Lightwood-Carstairs.â Thomas corrected.
âOr Carstairs-Lightwood.â
They hadnât planned to tell anyone about what they were really going to do in Paris, Alastair had said it would be more fun to surprise them. He always did like the dramatics, no matter how much he denied it, it was a fact.
The ring on Thomasâs pinkie was smaller than the one on his ring finger, since it had been fitted for someone else. They werenât fancy rings, made of silver with a small inscription on the inside of each one.
The bigger of the two read; A.J.C., standing for Alastair Jahan Carstairs. While the small read; T.G.L., for Thomas Gideon Lightwood of course. The inscriptions had been Alastairâs idea, he said it had made the rings a lot more personal than they appeared, like geodes.
He hasnât taken the rings off since before the funeral. He hadnât taken Alastairâs off since the hospital, when the nurse gave him Alastairâs bag of belongings. Thomas had cleaned it until his fingers were prunish, before slipping it on his pinkie, the only finger it would fit. He couldnât bury the ring with Alastair, it hurt too much to even see him in the casket, much less with the ring he was supposed to have until he grew old.
But Alastair would never get to grow old. He would never have their wedding in Paris. He wouldnât even be at Jasperâs birthday party next month, or the next Christmas, or their next anniversary. It made Thomas angry to think about that, that they didnât get the years Thomas had promised him.
It made him angry when he thought of the time after their engagement, when they talked about death. How heâd made Alastair promise to find love again if he were to die young, and Alastair made him promise the same thing. He knew he couldnât live up to that promise. He knew he never could. Because Alastair was it for him, he was the person who made his world turn and the one who made it feel like fighter jets in his stomach (not butterflies, because those are too soft to describe how Alastair makes him feel).
How could anyone else replace that? No one could. No can ease the unbearable pain heâs in, no one can make him stop feeling like heâs going to crawl out of his own skin. Alastair was the only one for him. His true love, his soulmate, all the cliche things like that.
âYou better not fall in love with me, Lightwood.â
âThat wonât be a problem, Carstairs.â
Alastair had teased when they first got together, half serious and half not. Thomas wasnât sure if he was grateful that he didnât listen or not. Maybe if he had listened he wouldnât be in this position...no, he canât think that. He would never regret Alastair, never. If he did, it would make him no better than Charles, and Thomas had always strived to be better than him, to make sure Alastair never felt the way he did with Charles ever again.
âIâm so happy I didnât listen.â
Thomas had whispered against Alastairâs skin in bed that night, causing Alastair to look at him in confusion. He hadnât remembered when he told Thomas to not fall in love with him.
âIâm happy you didnât listen either.â
Alastair had said later on, when he thought Thomas had fallen asleep. He hadnât, but couldnât bring himself to tell Alastair that, knowing it would embarrass him.
He couldnât help but lose himself in the memories, nearly drowning himself in the process. From the first day they met, it had been Alastair and it would always be Alastair. That had never changed. Not in the near decade he had known Alastair. Not even when heâs old and grey, in adult diapers and can barely remember his own name. It will always be Alastair.
âYou must be Alastair Carstairs! Iâm Thomas Lightwood, nice to meet you!â Thomas had said excitedly, holding out his hand for Alastair to shake.
Alastair looked at his hand warily before shaking it. âYouâre a little too small, Thomas. I think Iâm going to call you pipsqueak.â
Thomas hadnât even been listening, distracted by the pretty boy in front of him. âIâll call you Lassie then.â The other boy looked at him in surprise, a small smirk curling on his lips.
âI think weâre going to get along just fine, Thomas Lightwood.â
#the last hours#the last hours fic#alastair carstairs#thomas lightwood#thomastair#modern au#based on a song
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2, 10, 17, 19? :D
dsmp sona ask meme
(tysm for indulging me omg i would Die for you :)))
2. appearance?
Her appearance has changed A Lot over time, but as of the current canon, Psyche's about five feet tall, pale skin, white-gold eyes (which she always keeps covered with a blindfold), and unrealistically long white-blonde hair. Her most defining feature is definitely the pair of angel wings on her back, "clipped" to prevent flight. I usually picture her wearing a v intricate shiro/hime lolita dress; I doubt she'd variate from that kind of style often. Oh! and she's never seen without her red scarf :)
17. dnd alignment?
Psyche's definitely Neutral Good. While she definitely believed in L'manberg more than anything while it was still around, Technoblade's execution definitely made her realize that you can't always rely on things like systems of law to protect the good of the people; circumstances and potential consequences determine whether or not she'll follow a rule. She always puts the welfare of the community above her own though; during the reconstruction of L'manberg, after most people lost everything they had yet again, she'd take jobs without fee even though she too was struggling to get back on her feet. Despite the running theme of everyone in the SMP being a kleptomaniac, I genuinely think a community like L'manberg would always take care of each other when times got tough. (wow that was way too long,,)
19. most prized possession?
A red scarf that Tommy made for her right after the L'manberg Independence War. Since Tommy canonically knows how to sew, I like to think Psyche taught him how :))
10. backstory? (tw: attempted suicide) (also it's just Very Long bc i copied this from my notes,,)
under the cut for the dashboard's sake,,,
I donât know if this is asking for a backstory before she came to the SMP but if it is, I donât have one! For the early years, Psycheâs existence coincides with Wilburâsâshe fought in the original war for independence as a medic (where she lost a canon life), secretly worked for Pogtopia and eventually lived in the ravine during the rebellion. (Mostly because sheâs the type to lose herself easily in people like Wilbur, i.e. charismatic leaders with big words and bigger ideas.) After her home was destroyed at the end of the war, she assisted in reconstruction and lived in New LâManberg until Doomsday. Instead of wisely evacuating beforehand with the majority of the nation, she tried to stop the three most powerful people on the server from destroying the livelihood of so manyâand consequently got killed by Technoblade. After everything she loved was destroyed and there was no chance of Lâmanbergâthe thing sheâd given everything forâever coming back, she decided she would die alongside it. However, she just barely survived throwing herself into the craterâif Lâmanberg didnât want her dead, sheâd live. (She wasnât going to be happy about it though.) So! Now having lost everything in the world that mattered to her, she decided she would live in the only other place that kind of felt like homeâthe now abandoned ruins of Pogtopiaâliving off of Technoâs old potato farm. She encounters a few people living thereâlike kids dared to go down here at night, traumatized ex-Lâmanbergians coming there to write poetry, or even Tommy coming to store some of his valuablesâbut she doesnât really talk to them (if any, then a tiny bit). The one person she does talk to while living there is Ghostbur, who sheâs known since he showed up in New Lâmanberg and who visits her in Pogtopia a decent amount. After he visited Psyche on a particularly uh. bad mental health day, she had a massive breakdown. For reasons too long even for this already terribly long explanation, she spontaneously sprouts angel-like wings large enough to actually support flight; the tears streaming down her face become tears of pure, molten light (and also just. wouldnât stop, so now she wears a blindfold so she doesnât freak people out.). Before she can even really realize whatâs happening, DreamXD appears before her, telling her that flying isnât allowed on the server before uh⌠âclippingâ her wings. Fun. Anyways she doesnât see Ghostbur after that, or much of anyone until Quackity pays her a visit. How he heard she was alive/here Iâm not sure, but he needs a good tailor if he wants Las Nevadas to look good (did I mention sheâs a tailor/seamstress before this??), so he figured someone he already knows to be talented and who currently has nothing else to do would be a good option. He sees that sheâs not in the best headspace so he tells her that coming to work for him in Las Nevadas will finally give her the purpose sheâs looking for againâI mean, when was the last time she made anything? Made other people happy? So yeah thanks for the manipulative pep talk, bossâbut it works so Psyche is now a happy resident of Las Nevadas.
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Iâm glad you like reading about c!Leif! And I like answering your questions about him!
So yeah he does other things, like tapestries, wood/stone carving, and all sorts of stuff, painting just happens to be his favorite. Iâd say his second favorite would be soapstone carving. He likes to make mini versions of all his animals. Most of the more artistic things are kind of self taught. Before he settled into the sanctuary he traveled a lot to find the âperfect placeâ, during his travels he met plenty of people, he just copied them. Monkey see monkey do really lol.
His anxiety does make him sad sometimes, he would love to make new friends, but his nerves tend to get the best of him. Though he definitely doesnât mind being surrounded by animals rather than people. As nice as it would be to have friends around to talk to, the quiet is nice most of the time.
I definitely agree that c!Philza would probably have spent a lot of his time traveling and learning about the world. c!Leif would definitely be more inclined to get to know c!Philza seeing as heâs one of the calmer smp members. I like to think that when c!Leif manages to make a new friend heâll spend hours excitedly introducing them to all of his pets. I can imagine him growing quite fond of c!Philza.
When c!Leif found the ruins Iâd say he was more intrigued by the architecture rather than how it got there or who made it. During the process of rebuilding he did stumble upon some strange runes, he wrote them down for later and proceeded to forget what he did with the notes.
The tendrils really only bothered him because of the smell, he heard something about a large red egg at one point, but has yet to put two and two together. He assumes they were just some sort of invasive species, a seed probably stuck to the shoes of a traveler.
Iâm really glad you enjoy his character! I really enjoy building his story and itâs fun to rant to you about him!
After getting to know, and open up to c!Ramza, c!Leif would definitely like to consider them a friend. Especially if they offered to help find the rougue chicken. A one way ticket to being c!Leifâs friend, his animals. They seem like a very kind person, and they probably have some entertaining stories heâd enjoy hearing.
And for the final question, this isnât all of his animals but these are his most prominent friends. Almost all of the animals are named after peoples of Ancient Greece, gods and goddesses, philosophers and scientists, perfect example: Archimedes the chicken. Archimedes was a Greek mathematician, physicist, engineer, inventor, and an astronomer. One of the the more renowned scientists found his time, so itâs only fitting that a chicken who probably knows more than it lets on should be named after him. There are plenty of chickens roaming around the sanctuary, most with names, but Archimedes sticks out more so than the others. He likes to make himself known, if you arenât paying attention to him he is either tearing up your home or pecking at your feet. There are three different packs in the sanctuary, they donât stay there full time, they like to roam. The pack that c!Leif is the most friendly with is the smallest one, there are only five wolves in this pack,and c!Leif has lovingly named each of them. There are three siblings: Acesias(a physician),Marinus(a philosopher), and Lobon(a literary forger). A mother to the siblings, Lysias(an orator). And a runt they found in a ditch, Isocrates(a rhetorician, and Spartan general) Lobon and Isocrates are the only males in their little pack. Thereâs an especially large heard of horses that donât live in the sanctuary, but c!Leif goes to feed them every morning, most are named, though c!Leif has yet to meet all of them. Four of the named ones include Hecate, Epiphiron, Heimarmene and Gelos. Thereâs one polar bear he managed to drag home, appropriately named Lyssa, for her rude tendencies. Lyssa was the spirit of mad rage and frenzy.
There are and abundance of birds living in the sanctuary, mainly parrots. One particularly vain parrot is of course, called Aphrodite. Thereâs a decent size lake that flows into the ocean, thereâs freshwater fish living in the lake, and c!Leif can follow the river to the ocean where all of his sea turtle friends are, they tend to ignore him, but he enjoys watching them from time to time.
Thereâs also a pair of piglins who he has forced to live in a section of the sanctuary. He found them during a trip in the nether, he wasnât wearing gold so they came after him, he just led them home and trapped them in a little building witch he latter added a lava pool and a bunch of gold to. They begrudgingly stay because they donât know how to get back to the nether, he calls one Ares for obvious reasons, and the other is Menoetius, a titan god of violent anger and rash violence. He doesnât like to pick favorites, but he has a favorite. A little bearded dragon, I have a bearded dragon so it only makes sense my sona does too lol. Her name is Anteros, the god of requited love, she likes to ride around on c!Leifs shoulder while he does chores and feeds all the other animals.
As for chores and feeding, c!Leif spends the early hours of the mornings gathering wheat, carrots, meat, etc for all the animals. He goes around to water tubs and troughs , refilling the water tubs around the sanctuary and feeding all the animals. He also spends a good hour scrubbing bird poop and picking up goat droppings, some of the animals just like to do their business wherever. He also goes to the lake to make sure thereâs no debris or sickened animals there contaminate the water. Thatâs another detail about the sanctuary, he has a veterinary room for sick or injured animals he comes across. c!Leifâs interactions with animals vary from animal to animal. Pandas and wolves enjoy belly scratches, parrots like when you talk to them. Turtles are pretty indifferent, cats are cats, they want love, you give them love, they are then filled with rage at the fact that you are touching them. Fish, well, theyâre fish. Canât really pet them lol.
If you have any more questions Iâd love to hear them! Some questions help me develop him more so itâs always nice to have questions to answer!
I know you said you enjoy long asks but this feels a little too ridiculously long.
Ohhh thatâs cool! Very talented! ngl I would love to see the little figures of the animals đ I think they would look incredible cute and awesome!
honestly c!Leif sounds like a person I would definitely approach and ask about how to treat mobs correctly and how to take care of them correctly! I know c!Ramza would! They would probably ask him about it and write down the info he has in order to spread it/ keep it safe for others to research!
Iâm happy to hear that he didnât have to deal with the egg too much and that it went well!
The animals sound so nice! But also mischievious haha I bet c!Leif has a lot on his hands with them but in a good way! I really adore that you use old prominent greek names!
Honestly the place sounds amazing! ngl I would love to see something like this, I imagine this as a really beautiful and peaceful place. I can tell you thought a lot about this and I love it so much!
Would he feel comfortable with inviting people over? Only people that he really trusts or feels he more comfortable having his home for himself and the animals? How would he react if someone gets too close and maybe wants to investigate the place, seeing how anxious he is
Has he had problems with maybe protecting his animals or has his life there been rather peaceful?
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