#I think it's more about the overall sound of werewolf songs

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Hi!!!! I absolutely love your writing!! I’ve been reading your poly!sleep token and that’s been my jam but I’ve also been splurging with powerwolf and slipknot!! Just wondering where I should start listening for both their bands because I’m already loving the characters and the way you depict them all :))

HAVE A NICE DAY AND TAKE CARE!!!!

Hi Anon!! Glad I could drag you into the insanity with PW and Slipknot!! I love getting music asks, apologies in advance for rambling but I have a lot to say about both bands music, but I'll highlight titles to make them easier to find lol

For Powerwolf, they're quite literally my favorite band EVER, I actually can't think of any song that I don't like off the top of my head. A lot of their music makes me want to channel my inner sexy Eldritch horror that wants to rail that werewolf priest. It's power metal, you gotta have fun with it lol. I'm obviously very biased, majority of my favorite songs are ones that lean more organ heavy, both because I enjoy the instrument (love me a good organ) but also I'm in love with Falk lol, so I have a preference for things where I can really hear him play. Some of my personal favorites are...

Let There Be Night (arguably my favorite song by them ever) - has some of my favorite organ work, there's a moment at the end where all the instruments cut to silence with one heavy ring of a church bell only for Falk to come back in with an amazing, powerful run... chills every time. The song itself is only about 3-4 minutes the last minute of 2 is filled with ambient sound of thunderstorms and a church bell tolling in the distance, a wolf howl, the faint sound of Gregorian chants just barely being heard over the rain, which is a very subtle detail, most people won't even listen that far into the ambient noise to hear all of it, but it is beautiful, and that is frequently a sound I use to try and, for less of a better term, put myself in the Abbey whenever I write fics!

Nighttime Rebel - Another very organized heavy song, this one has a bit more guitar focus, this one is also in English lol. This song is more focused on strength and fighting back against evil forces.

1589 - it wouldn't be Powerwolf if I didn't mention my favorite werewolf song lol. 1589 is a song detailing the crimes of one Peter Stumpp, better known as The Werewolf of Bedburg, a man blamed for the murders of multiple women, he was coined a monster and eventually burned at the stake. For this one, please please please go watch the music video. Everyone involved put so much time and love and attention to detail to everything that went into it. It is a phenomenal watch and it only enhances the impact of the song. (This is also the song they're burning Falk at the stake at on stage now if you've seen pictures of that floating around)

Call of The Wild - fast paced with a lot of really nice guitar. I've been trying to learn how to properly sing this song for a while and omfg the breath control and the POWER Attila has is actually insane

Faster Than The Flame - what I would argue is one of Roel's best performances, this song has insane drums in it (he does a cover on his YouTube where he plays through the whole song, he is so COOL) Not one of my favorites vocal wise but overall a very good song!!

I could actually sit here and talk about their entire discography for hours, but I'll start you with those 5 since I feel like it covers a pretty good range. If you're looking for a whole album to listen to the whole way through, my personal favorite is The Sacrament of Sin followed very closely by Wake Up The Wicked and Call of The Wild for overall themes and storytelling.

I also can't recommend watching The Monumental Mass enough, it's a live concert they filmed and put on YouTube during covid, watching them perform is phenomenal and will make you like them even more I promise, they're all just wonderful performers and musicians and people and I can't recommend their music enough.

For Slipknot, I got into them hard and fast over the past couple months so I can't speak as in depth about their music as Powerwolf, but I do have a lot of feelings about their stuff as well lol. A lot of it really depends on how growly of a boi you're looking for, Self Titled is very angry and screamy throughout most of it whereas We Are Not Your Kind, I feel like at least, leans more into melodics. My recommendations for this band is all over the place lol, but these are some of my personal favorites...

The Blister Exists - I love a funky little drum break, and seeing Chris Fehn March around on stage during the solo is my kryptonite, he's so cute. Anyways, really good drums, a nice mix of growls and regular vocals, I'd argue this is definitely one of their more approachable songs

Vermillion - the HARMONIES towards the end of this, ugh.

(sic) - very fast, very growly, very angry. I have a preference for one particular live version of this song (thank you again to my obsession with Chris) just because the backing vocals are so prominent and clean and ugh, he sounds incredibleeeee

Custer - super basic, but it's popular for a reason. I find it very fun to do the silly little girly pop dance that I saw everyone doing on tik tok to this song for a while

Duality - also a very basic song, but also very popular for a reason lol. I don't care how much people make fun of me for it, this is probably one of my favorite songs at the moment just because I'm having a lot of fun working on belting with it. Also, arguably, one of their more approachable songs

If you'd like a full album to listen to from beginning to end from them; OG music is my personal favorite, so Self Titled is always a good place to start. But, if you're looking to explore more of their range, cause some of their stuff is very different from Self Titled, I would recommend either We Are Not Your Kind or .5: The Gray Chapter

Hopefully you find something you like, thank you so much for the ask!!

[mending-up-your-fences]

Alright, Cuyahoga “mending finally went to a full length show and will never stop talking about it” post show breakdown. Also my eye didnt attempt to blind me. And the weird voice thing I heard at bourbon and beyond was a weird festival amp thing that was not present here.

First: Cuyahoga is a stunning venue. Absolutely great. I don’t know how I lucked into face value seating so close and central to the stage but I did.

Second: katie pruitt has a new song that talks about wanting to be Superman and I cried as she was performing it for the first time, so good luck to us all when that’s released. Also, Out of the Blue was freaking incredible live. Her voice rocks.

And now for the meat and potatoes:

Starting with Stay Gentle is a war crime. Plain and simple. I think I’ve experienced every emotion possible listening to this song, so I did not cry at this point, but the swell of the strings when she sings “be amazed by the sky”. Also, the linked arm thing is cute.

Over the Rainbow: her voice. Overall what a mood set.

Broken Horses: hahahaha wtf. It absolutely rips. Also, went on a side quest to the rock and roll hall of fame and they have where she wrote the lyrics, and you can actually see where she gets more intense as her writing goes along.

Things I Regret: fun song and good little sneaky vocal warm up for Brandi. Also slaps. Very fun song.

You and Me on the Rock: boy she loves an amphitheater of her fans. Chauntee, Kyleen, and Monique have very tight harmonies now! And so fun seeing all the lesbians dance together.

The Story: RIPS. Absolute carnage. It takes a special talent and focus to sing a single song thousands of times and make it still sound special. But then at the end, this wild thing happened where the applause went on for two minutes? Just one of those magical live performance moments, but Brandi genuinely seemed touched and overwhelmed by it (for reasons we will get to later).

The Eye: see this is where they got me. I have never once in my entire life cried to this song. But tonight? Wtf. The harmonies are so good, and the lyrics are so pretty and so yeah, I cried. Tim and Phil are the goats. If they don’t get memorialized together when they make the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I’ll riot.

After that cute moment I got emotionally assassinated: that’s right. It turns out cath and the kids are at home and one of the anniversaries was yesterday so Brandi has been in an extra “I’ve been touring all summer and now everyone’s at home without me funk.” And she referred to herself as a human casino thursday. So what does that mean?

It’s time for The Mother. Fuck my life. I cried. I thought about my mom, I thought about future kids. I thought about the gay parents in the audience. I can’t believe she did it. I think she’s performed it one other time this summer at a not solo show or special event. Was sure I was gonna live vicariously forever. But here we are in this new world where I’ve seen the mother performed live.

Acoustic mood? Sounds great. Now we’re gonna do Right on Time two ways (for real this time). ITCH was as great as on Thursday. But immediately followed by my first time hearing Right on Time (ITSD) which holy shit. Absolute banger. And vocally insane (featuring her demon laugh when she knows she’s just done something vocally wild).

Time to rip into My Song/they were too small of a band for U2 to nail them at the time for plagiarism but lol. She sings and performs this song in a way that makes her almost visibly time travel to being a sixteen year old busking her heart out.

Solidly into the rock part of the show? Wrong. It’s Mama Werewolf time. The concert version of it is perfect. It’s a perfect song and they sing it perfectly. Did not cry because I was emotionally exhausted at this point and could not dwell on the cyclic trauma of it all, but GD her and the twin harmonies.

So now foot’s off the pedal and we’re on cruise control right? Wrong. Because this is the moment I think the people surrounding me realized I am not a casual fan At All, the way I physically reacted to them playing the intro to Again Today. Another bucket list song checked off. Her voice. It’s just another “this song could end the whole concert and it’d be a great concert but this is Brandi carlile band so this is what our discography is like.” Fuck them, this song slaps, still mad it’s not a standalone track that I can loop.

Banger city now because it’s time for Raise Hell which absolutely blew the roof off the place. It was so loud and raucous at this point. Side note: but is insane that Raise Hell is so good and that the discography is so deep that it’s a special occasion now??? Anyway, no one has sat this whole show. I had been told we were a concert sitting people, but it seems like that era is over. People are bouncing, yelling, riled up… So naturally what song is next?

Remember this?

Party of One. LMAO. This concert was sequenced by an insane person. But whatever, I got redemption to see it twice. And it was awesome. The applause for the string quartet went on forever. I cried. Standard stuff.

Mainstream Kid! With Katie Pruitt! That is a girl that spent a lot of time singing along to that track in her car during college. But it RIPPED. That voice combo is crazy. And Tim got to do his best ever guitar solo. Brandi so clearly invests emotionally into these artists that repeatedly open for her, I just have a lot of BoB thoughts.

Sinners, Saints, and Fools aka “we do not deserve Sista Strings but Chauntee and Monique have decided we get to enjoy their gifts for this moment in time”. Fun fact is that they apparently saw a symphony concert at the venue as children! Other fun fact: Geraldo Rivera was at this performance. Kinda wanted to say “Hey this whole thing is about grifters like you.” Anyway, it slaps.

The Joke: nothing groundbreaking to report. I cried. Her voice is stupid. People should stop trying to cover it. Forever thankful that this song finally got BCB the recognition they’ve deserved the whole time.

Hold Out Your Hand: it’s so fast and so fun. It’s also another moment that amplifies the band a part of what makes them so special. They are just people. There’s no tight corporate control, no musical director/concert choreographer dictating every movement. It’s just a bunch of talented adults playing music together, and occasionally being a bit goofy.

Live and Let Die/We Are The Champions: Adam Lambert and Brandi Carlile could pull off this tandem. End of list. All you should need to convince anyone of how great Brandi is right now is to say “She has the stage presence and vocal ability to kill this cover as an encore at all her shows”. It absolutely works live.

Anyway, this was my favorite concert I’ve ever experienced. Hope my ramblings made you laugh a little. They’re mostly for me here so I remember as much of tonight as I possibly can. Love to y’all. Good night.

[supergenial]

Well the new crossfade is out, Moonlight Witch Safira, Act 1. Quite unusually for the band we got what seems to be a human (werewolf???) male featured in the album art, albeit with no face. What is quite usual is that it says Act 1 so it’s probably a two-parter, or perhaps the first three parter for the band?? Who knows.

Also the last song in the album is called never ending nightmare which reminds me of the pokemon z-move, but looking at bulbapedia it seems the jp name is quite different so they actually don’t share the name in jp lol

Anyway, it sounds pretty cool, Risa Yuzuki is back as guest vocals in this one along with Luna and Ruru, and we still have Suzuha Yumi doing the choruses. I for one am glad Risa Yuzuki still finds time to record with the band, she’s a delight, and Ruru has been nothing but a joy ever since she joined. Overall really looking forward to this one. Read below the cut if you want a small rant on an inconsequential topic.

Onto another topic that’s mildly bothered me for a while is I will simply not comment on it anymore when Rena is absent. Obviously you’re free to use the internet however you want but when I see replies to their tweets or videos expressing disappointment at the lack of Rena I think that, while probably very encouraging for her, it’s probably a bit disappointing for the other members to constantly live in her shadow.

Rena was present in the album prior to this one so it’s not like we haven’t heard of her in ages. If she can’t find the time or doesn’t have the health then I’d rather she focus on her own life you know, I don’t want to guilt her into coming back or making the band feel like we care about her more or something.

But who knows, maybe they don’t even mind those comments and I’m the only one taking it seriously 🤷‍♂️ hard to tell for me lol.

[wygolvillage]

today i learned there's a castlevania-inspired finnish black metal band called alucard after my dad sent a link to me, and all of their songs are blatantly written about castlevania, so i decided to listen because that sounds up my alley. im not the hugest metal listener in the world but i enjoy it from time to time and if no one else will write a detailed review on this castlevania fan music, I WILL.

was this worth listening to? ehhh kind of...?

to answer this, here is my review after having listened to the full discography:

"nocturne in the moonlight" is their latest release, and the first one i listened to. leaves a good first impression with the first track, "die for their sins", which is very obviously based upon the confrontation between dracula and richter at the beginning of sotn (iconic). its a good blend of guitars and a quiet organ riff sets the tone in the background. the next track is "gaze of darkness" which seems to be about dracula relinquishing his humanity. its less catchy than die for their sins imo and i think the lyrics lean a bit too hard into "christianity = good" stuff which is also true of the lyrics on the next track (a cover of "battle of the holy" from cv the adventure, so presumably its about christopher), its all very much "i will smite you devilspawn with the holy powers of goddd, i am guided by the cross" which i am not super into, its to an extent that comes across as way more outwardly religious than the games which keep it mostly limited to aesthetics imo (crosses kill vampires in cv because its a folklore staple, not because castlevania is ABOUT christianity)... not that i should worry too hard about the lyrics considering that the audio mixing drowns them out a lot, its hard to make them out without reading along as you listen. im not sure if this is just a genre thing since ive run into issues with quiet vocals in other metal ive listened to, but i cant help but think that the growls would have so much more power behind them if they came through the mix a bit more. that could just be me though lol (and keep in mind this is the album with the BEST mixing, its mostly downhill from here). still i thought battle of the holy was pretty good because its a remix of a pretty good song (i love the gameboy soundtracks theyre amazing). the fourth track, "release... from the thirst of blood" is probably my favorite original track on the album, telling the story of a vampire lamenting being cursed with bloodlust and then dying in the rays of the sun after being left in their castle to die of hunger. the lyrics are simple but evocative. the last track is a really good cover of a japanese pop song i hadnt heard before, "arashi no yoru no serenade" by shizuka kudo. i can comepletely recommend both the original song and the alucard cover, both are great and the reason why i had to specify "release... from the thirst of blood" was the best original track rather than the best overall lol. all in all i think its worth a listen if it sounds like something youd enjoy, theres some catchy stuff in there

the first of the older demo albums, "blood relations of heaven and earth", actually has clearer vocals which i was pleasantly surprised by, the production of the first track "resurrection of the dark lord" has a lot simpler production than the nocturne in the moonlight tracks in a way that really benefits it imo. its still got the issue of the vocals not feeling powerful enough but i quite like it. it goes hard! the next track, "the scourge of dracula" (about simon, as the song helpfully tells us it takes place in 1691) also is pretty good though the drowned out vocals are back again, rip. still the guitar totally shreds on this track its awesome. i love how the organ is interpolated into a lot of these songs. the next track, "wolf man" is self explanatory. it's a song about a werewolf who sacrificed his child to dracula to gain lycanthropy. its suitably menacing. not much to say on the lyrics tbh but i love that there are some awoooos in this song which is a standard i hold all wolf themed songs to. probably my favorite on this album. i cannot resist a good song about werewolves. "in phantasmic hell" is, surprisingly, not a remix of "dancing in phantasmic hell" from rondo but its pretty good anyway and its about carmilla so who cares!!! i dont really have much to say on it though. like nocturne in the moonlight, the demo album closes with a cover, this time of "wasting the dawn" by the 69 eyes, which i also had never heard of. the omnipresent muffled mixing makes me not really take much away from it. kind of a meh track imo. i listened to the original for comparison and its a pretty decent goth song, a lot of what i liked about it on my first listen really did not come through in the cover. i think overall "blood relations of heaven and earth" is pretty decent though, if you like "nocturne in the moonlight" you will probably also like this

on to the second demo album, "pitch black incursion". by now ive grown used to the muffled mixing but that doesnt mean im exusing it, its even worse on this album :P the first track, "shivers of the night", is a retelling of cv2 with a horrifically off-key organ track so it does not start strong at all lmao, and doesnt do much to set itself apart except for that. something about the vocal track feels like the timing is off too. least favorite alucard track of all time, it feels almost like it was slapped together. skip. howeverrrr the second track "forgemaster" is a lot better, a slow dirge with lyrics about, of course, devil forgemasters. i think making it sound like a funeral dirge is a pretty good idea considering its about necromancy, its got atmosphere for sure. best track on the demo album. the next song, "gilles de rais", is more about the real life murderer rather than the cv64 character with the same name, though it does make reference to how the character serves dracula. its alright musically, and has (relatively) clearer vocals but i wasnt super into it, smth about the lyrics delighting in (real life) child abuse and murder (even if its from centuries ago) is just NOT my taste at all. its not super graphic but it feels distasteful. i was a lot more into the next song, "the countess", which is about underappreciated girlboss elizabeth bartley. its good but i dont have much to say about it? if you like the sound of this band youll like this song. like always, the album closes off with a cover, this time of "marionette" by akina nakamori, another 80s japanese pop song. like with the other two i listened to the original as well aaaand the cover let me down compared to the original, similar to what happened with "wasting the dawn". overall thoughts: maybe listen to forgemaster and the countess but you can live without the rest of this. audio mixing is most atrocious here

final thoughts: this band would be 10000x better with better audio mixing please for the love of god. i am repeating myself i know. nocturne in the moonlight is their best album and worth checking out if ur interested, not as positive on their other stuff. overall not sure if its something id listen to extremely often though, i feel like most desires you could have for castlevania inspired metal is more easily sated by "what a horrible night to have a curse" by the black dahlia murder, which is a banger. the only time i ever experienced "asmr tingles" was via listening to that song idk what that says about me

[yume-fanfare]

alright, since you asked, here's Nonsense Thoughts as i read! wwww

koudai go interview the next national track and field star Suzumi hiyori

the word koudai used to describe akechi is funny bc it's kinda like. egregious, has contradictory definitions

yeah

i get it though, lab coat-wearing language teacher with an endless supply of lollipops, he's not completely sane

also i love that akechi is like. The Teacher (1). the one who's always there when they need a teacher. no other teachers at sakuragaoka just mr akechi and his lab coat

(i love him)

kotarou and hina taking over koyuki's place in the gardening club. that's it that's the post

hhhhh ken and aizou's relationship....................... koudai knows something's going on but he doesn't want to push,,,

i love hina and hiyori's relationship so so much,,,

hina had been the kouhai waiting for koyuki to notice her for so long, but now she's hiyori's (beloved) senpai and just,,, her trying to be a cool senpai like koyuki was for her,,,

i have a lot of hiyohina thoughts please consider Them

i love how good aizou's relationship with his classmates is!!!

they may not be very deep friendships, but i love seeing that he gets along with everyone and that his classmates call him by his first name so casually

he's such a cheerful and fun kid i love him sm

and the way koudai's thoughts went "he's similar to his brother but more sane" oh if you knew

the nonfan novel pains me i want to know more about the famous vampire costumes they wore at the haunted house

we've gotten a lot of LIPxLIP vampire content, it's impressive

there's the vampire aizou from the calendar, this year's vampire/werewolf card, the elusive costumes from the school festival...

ALSO mskdlsmflslfms the hands on the haunted house's walls... yuujirou's hands

i love that the sound effect was yuujirou's hair dryer galsnsmdks boy knows how to take care of his hair

i want you to know that my first thought upon seeing how well the interview with aizou had went and the mention of yuujirou being a bit problematic was that yuujirou would somehow end up threatening him

then the flowers scene absolutely broke me

i've said this but there is just. something so poetic about yuujirou standing alone in the november cold, looking at yellow flowers that should have wilted already

like god. there's a lot to unpack there isn't it.

"looking at them as if he wasn't really there" so yeah, with his mind somewhere else, but the og sentence is so.

on the other side, that's such a stereotypically introvert thing to do it's almost funny yuujirou i love you

he is actually such a good kid

the contrast between this scene and aizou's is so striking too

on aizou's, there's laughter, lots of people, congratulations

yuujirou, however, has purposefully chosen a lonely place to spend his lunch break

and neither of the two is actually eating

it's interesting, really, in aizou's part you can imagine the sunlight, whereas in yuujirou's you feel... cloudy

anyway all the flower symbolism in haniwa Gets me

every mention of tulips is.....................

ayase koyuki i love you

i also love that yuujirou has so much curiosity

someone mentioned it was kinda like childish wonder and i haven't been able to get it off my mind ever since, it's true

he just,,, likes to learn you know

it makes a lot of sense too, considering his drive was "to find something"

BUT LIKE

THE WAY HE JUST PULLS A REVERSE UNO CARD AND DECIDES *HE* IS GOING TO INTERVIEW KOUDAI I JUST

CAN I EVEN LOVE HIM MORE

yes my boy go take pictures of your dog what's the point in getting an expensive camera if not to take pictures of things you like

(jshk people you know)

AND THEN HE,,, TAKES A PICTURE OF KOUDAI,,,

HOW CAN HE BE SO SWEET

he is so. lovely.

this short story made my love for him skyrocket sorry his part on this post is so much longer than the rest but oh god

(he deserved it, last time the stories were more focused on aizou)

(why are you so secretive about yuujirou haniwa)

yuujirou sleeping in the break room table...................................

i wanted to know what koudai wrote abt him aaaaa

though, the comment about chopping hiyori's head off aizou what the heck

he got violent so easily no wonder yuujirou and him are always fighting lol

ALSO UCHIDA'S COMMENT ABOUT AKECHI MSDKLSKDLS

god that was so funny

sorry miss hes gay

anyway yeah hiyori deserves a full interview come on

HIYORI CALLING AIZOU A PINEAPPLE,,,

and the scene with koudai looking at everyone from above..........................

it kinda feels like he's excluded, also in the "i first got a song last year despite having existed for ages" kind of way lol

but he's getting a new one so soon!!!

i wanted him to be aroace but, good for him lol

i think he would get along well with yuujirou, maybe

i love that they flat out said aiyuu are difficult students to handle smdjsmdmkd good luck akechi

and yeah, the ending,,, heartfelt

this was a really fun story overall!!! it really is so nice to see them being normal students, the lines that mentioned that felt a little like 4th wall breaking lol

[goose-books]

goose-books productions: a 2020 review

view the image in higher quality here! (open the image in a new tab to zoom in.) thank you to my dearest @yvesdot for the template

transcripts and month-by-month details under the cut! for reference, you can find my projects here :-) overall, new and old followers, thank you for another good year over here! [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your hand] [holds your h

january

i spent late 2019-early 2020 working on 2019’s nano project, quark, aka the speculative fiction thing about new york city and prophets and dissections of the chosen one trope and gay people. quark is my second-oldest project (five years!), but it’s also probably the most ambitious, so it’s been... difficult to wrangle into place, and i didn’t end up finishing a first draft. oh, well.

enjoy a snippet that is devastatingly emblematic of everything about quark. the tone. the homoerotic tension. the ensemble cast all talking over each other. the fact that caelum has spent pretty much this entire scene crying. fun autopsy report meeting.

Marble stares at the notebook in Shade’s hands. Or maybe he’s staring at Shade’s hands. Dawn feels a little voyeuristic, so she does what she does and says a dumb and unrelated thing: “Augustus, I think this pizza-on-the-floor thing is hurting my ass.”

Augustus flutters his hands. “Sometimes nonconformity is painful.”

“At least we’re originals,” Caelum mumbles into his sleeve.

“Exactly,” Augustus says.

“True originality doesn’t exist,” Marble says.

“Oh,” Shade deadpans, “it’s going to be a fun autopsy report meeting.”

It isn’t.

february

in january i stressed myself out trying to make the plot of quark work. so in february, i decided to take some time and write something Entirely For Fun. like, entirely for fun, no rules. and. my god. how do i explain the project i started calling “third eye for the bad guy.”

it was an unholy mashup of many of my past hyperfixations, including the gone series, a tale of two cities, warrior cats, and the left hand of darkness. one of the characters was a canon scalie and one was a canon fictionkinnie. it centered around a polycule of wannabe-evil-overlord high schoolers. i only wrote like three chapters but i was lost in the sauce for all of february and then i just… like… wiped it from my mind and moved on? somehow??? one character was a werewolf and that literally wasn’t relevant at ALL

I.

Someone was going to die on these steps.

This had been Ivy Lee Palomo’s thought last year during the all-school photo, and it rose in her mind again now. The one hundred marble stairs leading up to the great double doors of Saint Constantine Academy were the school’s pride and glory, steep as the mountain, sharp as the blade under Ivy Lee’s skirt. With the cutting wind and snow glazing the stone more often than not, with the freshmen wild and wired on their first day of their first year, it was really only a matter of time before someone slipped and cracked their fucking head open.

It wasn’t going to be her. Not when she had Doc Martens and reflexes like an electric coil. Still. Ivy Lee didn’t want to watch someone die. She didn’t get along with dead people.

march

in march, i got back to the project i’d started in 2019 - AMT, my podcast! it’s a shakespeare retelling set in a modern high school; this excerpt is funnier and also more unnerving in context. (double, double, toil and trouble...)

INDRAJIT: What the hell are you doing?

[PAUSE.]

DEE (like she’s lying): Making pasta.

[ALL THREE OF THEM LAUGH.]

NONA: That’s right.

MORA: We have the keys to Mab’s office.

DEE: We’re using her stove.

NONA: To make pasta.

DEE: Do you want some?

[A TENSE PAUSE.]

INDRAJIT: No.

april

and darkling rears its head! all of my other projects have existed for at least a year; darkling (specfic king lear retelling) is... special. it was conceived in april, when i started hyperfixating on king lear, and i still managed to write an absolutely ridiculous amount of content for it. it was like the power of hyperfixation let me speedrun the entire process. which. okay.

iv: control

They say Cressida Stayer was nine years old when she turned her hair to gold. They laid her down in bed blonde, and the next morning, the waves cascading down her shoulders were solid metal, glinting harshly in the sunlight, weighing her down, creating that odd head-cocked expression she still wears now. Nine years old. Two or three years before most people develop enough magic skills to dye a single curl. Much less transfigure their hair into precious metal.

People also say Leovald Stayer’s immediate reaction was to hack it off her head and melt it down for cash. But generally they say that part a lot quieter.

may

in may i wrote AMT episode 15, by which i mean that in may there was a day when i sat in my room with the door shut for literally five straight hours listening to the same three songs on loop as i wrote the climax of one of the plotlines of AMT. so. that sure was… a day.

ISAAC: Do you want… do you want someone to drive you home? Hawk, you’re worrying me -

HAWK (almost cutting him off): Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m here to help. With your… thing.

ISAAC (quietly): I… don’t know if you should be here to see this.

HAWK (a little louder, more audibly upset): Well - what else am I going to do? Go home and - and have my dads talk at me and - and not be able to answer them? Because I can’t? I can’t. I don’t know what to say.

[PAUSE.]

ISAAC (V.O.): I wonder if this is what he feels like, on the outside, looking in at me. Watching someone else hurting. Helpless and afraid.

He still fits perfectly in my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head and pull him close to me, like I can stop him from shaking, like I can stop anything from happening the way I know it’s going to. I bury my face in his hair. He smells so familiar. He’s so warm.

God, Hawk. I love you so much. You shouldn’t be here to see this. Something bad’s gonna happen. And you’re not the kind of person who belongs in a tragedy.

june

okay, honestly, i should talk about “night shift” here, because in june i wrote a whole short story in one night (and then foamed over it for a week), but i am still in the process of submitting it places! so i am terrified to put even a sentence of it online. instead: the other thing i did this month was to finish AMT! (sixteen episodes and somewhere around 175k, iirc, but don’t quote me.) these lines are the opener to the final episode!

RAHMA (V.O.): The combined series of sophomore year disasters stretched through November. It’s June now. It’s taken me… a long time to get this all put together. I was going to make a vlog about it, initially - well, calling it a vlog sounds frivolous. I was going to make a video recounting the whole deal. All of it. From when I kissed Avery Fairchilde to the very last night. I scripted dozens of drafts; I put together dozens of bullet-pointed lists of what to cover… and it was never enough. Because Avery and I weren’t the only ones involved. Even if I was only focused on the two of us, it wasn’t just the two of us.

So… I gathered up everyone else. The whole town of Ellisburg is still talking about the week the town went crazy, but it wasn’t just a week. There was a lot leading up to it. And I think if anyone’s going to talk about it, it should be us. The people who lived it. So here we are. The most ambitious Rahma Ashiq production of all time - at least so far.

july

every july i pause whatever else i’m doing to celebrate the birthday of aurum & argentate, twins from my oldest and dearest WIP The Mortal Realm. july fifteenth! mark your calendars. they’re princes, though argentate would really rather not be; you can read the full birthday piece here.

“Do you… plan to get dressed?” A bit of the usual humor crept back into Aurum’s voice. “Although if you want to speak to the kingdom in your underthings, by all means, you have my full support.”

Argentate scrubbed at his face. He wasn’t dressed, no, but the usual malaise hung over his shoulders like a cloak. Guilt. Nerves. The sick sense that he hadn’t done something he was supposed to. The numb knowledge that it was too late to change a thing.

“I meant to,” he said. “Get dressed, I mean.” The rest went unsaid: I have just been sitting here. On the floor. Thinking about how I should get dressed.

“Ah,” Aurum said, extending his hand. “The traditional route. We’ll save the nude speeches for the future, then.”

Argentate took his hand, stumbling a little as Aurum pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself on the closest wall, taking a few deep breaths. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. His hands found their way to the cross, again and again.

august

this summer, i wrote an entire draft of Valentine Van Velt is Dead, AKA “holden caulfield goes to exposure therapy,” AKA the weird little personal side project i keep tucked into my coat. interesting features include second-person narration from a narrator who doesn’t like the main character all that much. so reading it is kind of like the book wants to kill you? with an added dash of general melancholy.

You used to live here. That’s the thing that’s got you feeling so off.

You didn’t recognize your old house. I mean, you kind of did. You remembered that the road was on a hill. That hill felt like a goddamn forty-five degree angle when you were a kid. But if you didn’t have the address written down you wouldn’t have known it at all. It would have been just another little suburban house in rows of perfect little towns that make your skin crawl.

So now you’re in this diner looking out a gross smudgy window trying to block out the elevator music pumping through the speakers in the ceiling or whatever. I don’t know how speakers work. You’re trying to tune that shit out. The waitress comes over and catches you by surprise so you just point at some coffee thing on the menu so she’ll go away. For the record: you don’t drink coffee.

There’s a public library across the street. A little square building. You probably used to go there. The lady comes over and thunks your coffee on the table and gives you a kind of look, like she wants to know what in the goddamn hell you think you’re doing here and not at school. You sip your coffee and look out the window until she leaves you alone again. And then you spit it back into the cup because, for the record: you don’t drink coffee.

september

i spent september and october prepping for nano, so i was mostly working on darkling...

It’s late spring; still, at this time of night, on a rooftop, there’s a chill. The wind plays with the end of Ruby’s coat, with her hair. She hands the bottle off to Jasper, stares up at the fogged-over sky, wishes she were lying in Dany’s arms in Dany’s bed instead of here. Wishes, even, that Dany were the one on the roof with her. At least then they’d be cold together. At least then she wouldn’t have to imagine what Dany would say; she could just listen, and watch Dany’s flashing smile and her flinty eyes.

(She cuddles. This is another thing Dany does that Dany probably shouldn’t do, based on everything about Dany; it’s not like rattlesnakes cuddle. But Dany likes to nuzzle into Ruby’s side and rest her head on Ruby’s collarbones and toss an arm over Ruby’s chest, and hold her down like she’s worried she’ll float off somewhere. She’ll card her fingers through Ruby’s hair and hum. Even though they could get caught, even though she’s probably got better places to be - Dany cuddles.)

Ruby imagines it, momentarily, both of them on the roof together, sprawled like horrifyingly beautiful gargoyles, sharp teeth flashing, blood running hot. Up here - it’d be like they ruled the world.

But whatever. Jasper’s fun. He’s hot. He’s got a sharp tongue in a lot more ways than one. And she likes when he lets the mask down. She likes seeing the soft bits underneath. She wants to sink her teeth and nails into them so hard she draws blood. Masks don’t bleed. Ruby would know; that’s why she is what she is.

october

...though i was also in creative writing class in school, and thus ended up writing a bunch of poems of varying quality (my teacher had a real thing for poetry) and also one darklingverse short story where rory and cressida hold hands! which you can find here.

Lorelai Rory Flowers is afraid of thunder.

This is a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit, as they’re seventeen (“at least seventeen,” they like to tell people, “maybe two hundred, who’s to say?”) and generally wise beyond their years, or whatever it is that adults say about kids with too much psychological baggage. Being afraid of thunder is not a very wise-beyond-one’s-years trait. And yet the state of affairs remains: loud noises make Rory want to melt into the earth. Back when they still went to school, even the fire alarm sent them scuttling under their desk to hide.

Right now, in the elevator, all they can do is shrink into their sweater.

They haven’t let go of Cressida’s hand yet.

november

and then november of course was nano which was an adventure all the way through. (opening tumblr on the fifth day of nano to find out about d*stiel... was something.)

“Apologize to me. Or get out of my house.”

Gracen’s voice is very, very low. For a moment she thinks he hasn’t heard her at all. Then he spins, eyes blazing. “What did you say?”

Gracen watches her own chest heave. She pushes herself up off the desk, stands with the effort of pushing a mountain off of her back. Leovald is six-foot-four. Gracen is six-foot-two. In her heels, in the heels she must wear to be a professional woman, to be a lady - they are the same height.

Gracen wipes her nose. When she lowers her arm, there’s a streak of blood across the back of her hand. Fire shivers in her chest; her heart rings in her ears; her voice could cut steel.

“I said,” she says, low, slow, volume building, “apologize to me. Or get. Out. Of. My. House.”

december

and finally, the poem i posted this year! it’s called the beast sonnet, and you can find it in its own post over here (with commentary! how sexy.)

i kill the beast and drop down to my knees, my blade stained dark with blood of stygian hue, and for a moment these scarred hands shake free, and hold a world unfurled for me anew. but once-mourned victims, victors, vices find; fear winged me; now its absence strips me bare. my sword now dulls, my legs, my voice, my mind; the beast, pried from my throat, leaves no skill there. and still i hear it laugh, O DEVOTEE— O CHILD DEAR, NO GLORY WITHOUT ME.

i was quite productive this year; i have to think it was because i was avoiding things... the peak of my productivity happened over the summer and in november, AKA, college app hell. (almost done with the last applications! pray for me.)

a general breakdown of what occupied me this year:

(no, i don’t know why the “various other things” category ended up so large... i blame all the one-off projects i wrote a single page for, and also whatever the fuck happened in february. yes, i do know why it looks hideous; it’s because each of my WIPs has a theme color

thank you once again for spending some time at goose-books dot gov this year! what to expect for next year: well, i very much hope i can produce AMT... also hoping to get darkling ready for beta readers, so keep your eyes out!

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 01

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: Mild swearing, allusion to anxiety

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Next chapter

Masterlist

There is nothing quite like visiting a bookshop on a rainy autumn day, walking the pavements that will soon deepen in their shade of grey as the scarlet and burnt orange leaves will be decorated with tiny watery crystals. The fierce wind preludes to the sorrow of the gloomy clouds overhead, the chill creeping beneath the navy trenchcoat cooling the little skin bared by a simple ink black V-neck shirt. Caffeinated bordeaux sneakers hasten their step when leaving the district ruled by busy city life and entering the artisans district on the east side of town, where the boroughs are ruled by artists, individual shops, cafés and independent bookstores that each have their own vibe.

For a while now, a specific one has yet to be visited, intending to drop by ever since that long walk that lead through many a cobblestone street lined with brownstone houses and not a single business anywhere in sight. Except for Paper Souls, a hidden gem tucked away at the edge of the area where homes and commerce just meet and have resulted in a small store disguised as a proper worker’s house. As can be judged from the window display, the shop sells both well-known titles alongside more obscure ones, bound in editions fresh from the press and those having lived a ready life on someone’s shelves.

A second before the first tears of the heavens fall and make their presence known by ticking against the window, the bookstore is entered with a low sigh of delight. Nothing comes remotely close to the distinct scent of books, this specific combination of mustiness and ink laced with the fragrance of the weather outside and perfumes of customers. Or, in this case, solely the owner’s.

Here and there, a rumour about the man ruling the paper kingdom has been picked up and it is safe to say not all have been positive. A subject that has been frequently touched upon, oft causing more of a stir than the overall intimidating attitude, are the differently coloured eyes. One brown like hazelnuts at the end of the year and the other as blue as the ocean far outside the harbour.

The ones belonging to long blonde locks with dark roots looking up from the current read behind the counter and which are briefly met with a polite nod and casual greeting. At least one aspect of the groundless gossip is true because the disgruntled stoicism on the handsome face acknowledging the professional meaningless acquaintance silently makes the heart race and constricts the throat. It awakens the need to run and hide somewhere among the chestnut shelves, become a character in a tale so as to vanish and thus avoid upsetting the clerk by merely being present. Which might be the biggest problem, considering today’s goal of staying inside and spend it as is habitually done.

Don’t be silly. Just find a book and settle down somewhere to read a few pages. As long as you’re quiet, nothing’s gonna happen.

Thus, mayhaps repeating the self-chastisement once or twice, the creaking worn floorboards are walked upon as ghostlike as possible though every step makes the Body cringe due to the loudness disturbing the silence. 

And him.

The young man whose gaze is momentarily met before fleeing to the vintage couch in an incline with a gorgeous Penguin hardcover copy of William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience, which has been found in the poetry section across from the counter. Breath was held while standing on the tips of the toes while reaching for the thin volume on one of the highest shelves, hoping to not attract attention and refusing to use one of the nearby dark-wooden stools to climb atop because such acrobatics would likely not sit well with the person causing the hairs at the back of the neck to stand on edge.

A sigh of relief cannot be helped when loosening the buttons of the trenchcoat and tossing it over the arm rest before snuggling up in the corner of the sofa. Finally a moment devoid of stress, a chance to be carried off by the works of a beloved poet and artist embodying the truth of childhood and adulthood.

But being brought back all too soon from criticism on the corrupt Catholic Church by the oppressive presence of loose ripped jeans which are perceived just above the edge of the mustard cover. Despite being barely able to gather the courage to look away from the page, lashes nevertheless look up to hands tucked into denim pockets and non-matching irises peering down. Curiously, though it is also alarming, the gaze from above is awkward as if unsettled by the mere presence of a well-meaning bookworm which confirms the assumption about being a nuisance.

Although, the paradoxically misplaced inquiry spoken in a husky voice undermines the deduction. The lowering of broad shoulders does too, allowing personal defenses to waver a bit in the pursuit of kindness. ‘’How do you like your coffee?’’

Bewildered yet finding no clear reason for the kind question in the stoicism of two-toned locks, the simple reflex of asking for a repeat is acted upon with a sheepish tongue that does not know what to make of the situation. ‘’Sorry, what?’’

‘’Coffee. How do you drink yours?’’ A gruff slightly chubby thumb points toward the door, the glass decorated with autumnal tears. ‘’It might be raining, but I still need caffeine. Figured I might as well buy you something too. So, what should I get?’’

What do I do? Do I accept the offer? I mean, he offered it, but declining would still be polite. Then again, it’s free coffee.

‘’Oh, uhm, that’s very sweet of you.’’ The bundle is put down in the lap, flabbergasted shy hands tucked between the thighs while trying to stay as small as possible. It is a silly instinct, but the closeness of the intimidating bookshop clerk calls for it. Moreover, the deep slightly hoarse tone that sounds both as if still recovering from something and being exhausted with the world does not make matters better. 

However, albeit for a split second that is not credible enough, little will-o-the-wisps illuminate the entrancing wildness of an ocean and hazelnut forest as a quicksilver smile flashes over roseate lips. A beautiful fleeting sight which might never have arisen from the solemnity resting like a mask on the youth’s face.

A daydream.

Indeed, surely that is what it must have been. What other reason could there be to show a sign of being pleased with someone who does not feel particularly welcome and at ease in this paper kingdom?

Led astray by the unfocused train of thought, distracted by what may or may not have been witnessed, the actual answer comes out on a mumble. All the while boldly looking back, wondering. ‘’An iced vanilla latte... would be nice.’’

Acknowledging the order with a mere low rumble similar to a wolf’s, the clerk sets off on a caffeinated journey and leaves an affected soul behind. 

While still being highly uncomfortable with the lad’s presence, the thought of what just happened and the offer of a drink that was not in the slightest reluctant imprints a warm impression on a racing heart. Yet, before any ungrounded fantasies arise, the poetry bundle is quickly picked up again and later exchanged for a thick volume of Keats’s poetry that has been picked up in a rush to seemingly have never moved from the leather couch. To not leave a single trace of chaos which might trigger the wrath of the bookshop keeper and perhaps end up in being drenched by cold coffee. 

All the fear is evidently in vain because, when being once again engrossed by poetry, the ghost of a touch over the cheekbone breaks the spell. As if awakening from a dream, the suggestion of the outstretched cold drink passes unnoticed. Instead, it is replaced by a look at ripped jeans beneath a loose tartan blazer, resulting in the novel discovery of a little gem embedded in the right nostril. 

The rattle of ice entrapped in plastic fully awakens the senses as well as the sharp rustle of a paper bag bearing the logo shaped like an apple out of which a bite has been taken. ‘’Here. It’s on me. Don’t think anything of it, I just don’t want you to get dehydrated or hungry.’’

‘’Right.’’ With trembling hands expecting to have the food carelessly thrown into the lap and drink pushed into the palm, the surprising meal is accepted. Without the slightest sign of pushing. ‘’Still, thanks.’’

Once again, a beastly grunt is all that is received in return before checkered trainers retreat to the front of the establishment. Strangely, they soon return with the current read which was enjoyed behind the counter alongside the cold brew that was picked up to battle the fatigue that noticeably laces demeanour. Because, when sinking back into the sofa after having been gestured at to scoot over and haphazardly making room, lashes flutter shut for longer than a mere blink. Notwithstanding, they are awake enough to notice the shift in reading. ‘’Keats?’’

‘’Uh, yes. He’s one of my favorites alongside Blake, Donne and, on occasion, Wordsworth.’’ Personal enthusiasm takes over when mentioning the last poet with whom there is a love-hate relationship, erasing any anguish at being close to the keeper of the kingdom and thus making it possible to ignore the few centimeters of space between bodies. ‘’Even though he’s basically a fraud by turning his sister’s experiences into poetry. It makes one wonder whether he had any talent to come up with something himself. Now, I do believe some of his works are genuinely his, but not all. Sorry, I’ll- I’ll shut up.’’

Questioning chestnut and water reintroduce the silence disturbed by autumnal rain accompanied by howling winds, stretching out over the empty streets. Nobody likes a blathering fool, least of all the stoic who surprisingly has decided to join one’s company. 

Or, so was the original thought that is now nullified by a sliver of a smile and something inaudible smokily mumbled beneath breath. There is no courage to inquire about what was said nor ask for a reason for being evidently entertained, simply rapidly picking up the volume again to resume reading with an overheated, ashamed mind.

Here and there, however, sneaky peeks are thrown in the direction of bleached locks thoroughly enjoying Dante’s Inferno, a work that has been on the to-be-read list for the longest time and somehow has never been crossed off.

Come on, you can do it. Ask him how it is, whether he likes Dante. Don’t be a marshmallow. Okay, one, two... fuck.

‘’How’s Keats?’’ Beating the barely daring tongue to it, the young man interrupts the hardly focused enjoyment of poetry that maybe lasted about fifteen minutes.

‘’Good.’’ More wants to be added to the opinion, but cannot be shaped nor voiced due to the bafflement at seeing sincere interest pierce through an unwavering expression. On the other hand, another unnameable sentiment underlines attitude too, floating ever so slightly beneath the surface. 

‘’You haven’t touched your food.’’ Lips slightly pout when glancing at the paper bag that rests on the trenchcoat that had hastily been draped over the other arm rest when bleached locks sat down, colourful irises dimming. 

Worry.

Why does it affect him? What does it matter if I eat or not?

To hopefully grant a bit of reassurance, an absent-minded promise is made before diving back into the misery of a nightingale. ‘’I’ll eat in a bit. Just one more poem.’’

As fast as lightning, the volume flies from hapless palms and the scent of books mingled with musky mint suddenly leans over to grab the purchased treat, fingertips pressing against the side of the thigh. Every muscle tenses up at the new form of intimacy, inwardly praying for the tartan blazer to return to his place as soon as possible. ‘’No, it’s already two o’clock and I’m sure you had breakfast early. You should eat. Where’s your coffee?’’

A trembling finger points to the untouched iced vanilla latte on the floor, put just in front of the sofa. Hands rise even higher when the bookshop keeper’s heartbeat and heated broad chest can be temporarily felt when slightly chubby digits lean over to grab the plastic cup. ‘’I’m not…’’

‘’What?’’ Clearly not understanding the need to keep looking away, unsteadily focusing on the sides of the nearest bookshelf, the question comes out agitated as the retrieved items are pushed forward, unmistakably intended to be taken. The shift in behaviour is as little comprehensible as the likely appearance of warm rosy cheeks going paired with a fist pressing on the lips, tongue-tied.

Mentally chastising oneself for the awkward display, courage is forcibly gathered to face the puzzled grumpy young man and answer with a whisper. ‘’I’m not comfortable eating in public.’’

‘’We’re not in public.’’

‘’Or with people I don’t know.’’

This revelation is clearly unexpected, eyes widening when reluctantly elaborating on an irrational fear with folded hands tucked between the thighs. For a second, there is nothing but an uncomfortable hush in which the worst outcome is vividly painted in the mind. Fortunately and oddly, it is broken as the stoic’s attitude shifts to something that has not been witnessed before and which goes against any rumour floating around town. 

A gentle smile plays around the corners of the mouth as the tense grip on the food and drink loosens, gently putting the rustling bag in the lap and a warm palm grabbing one hand to place the lukewarm cup in it. ‘’There. I’m Jaebeom, JB for short. Now, can you please eat something? And I promise I won’t judge you.’’

‘’Shouldn’t- Shouldn’t you eat something too? You look like you could use some energy.’’ Up close, the fatigue has become visibly noticeable outside the moment of sitting down and closing eyes for a little bit longer than would suffice for a blink. Affected by the niceness of the gentle acquaintance and thoughtfulness, the croissant in the bag is torn in half to offer a part to the current company. ‘’How about we share this?’’

‘’You don’t have to.’’ A low breathy chuckle rolls forth at the gesture, strangely elating the heart and stirring up a storm of butterflies in the stomach. Again, the same unintelligible phrase that was muttered under breath earlier seems to be repeated.

A penny for your thoughts. What did you say?

Putting aside curiosity to not prematurely cross any boundaries of politeness, what wants to be asked is suppressed and reformed into a request for sharing. After all, the lack of energy outlined by vague dark circles beneath non-matching irises is truly a cause for concern. ‘’Please? I don’t have that big of an appetite.’’

With a resigning sigh, the offer is accepted. Much to the strange delight of the soul who still is not entirely trusting of the bookshop keeper yet already has the mental defenses down a little bit more than before. ‘’Alright, if you insist.’’

What follows is an absolutely adorable though also surprising scenario as the pastry is enjoyed in one bite, the food disappearing without any trouble. Nibbling on the other half, staring cannot be helped as a sip of coldbrew is enjoyed to wash the treat down. However, the unintended impolite mannerism, of course, cannot pass under the radar. Hence is why dark brows furrow in puzzlement when remarking upon being a point of attention. ‘’What?’’

‘’Nothing. You just…’’ a moment is taken to try and find the right word yet failing to think of one which accurately describes the eating manner, ‘’you just wolfed that down.’’

‘’Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I can be a bit, well, unmannered at times.’’ The gaze focusing on the iced black coffee adds to the sorrowful side profile, unwillingly nostalgic, but unapproachable for comfort. ‘’I try not to be. I’m trying to, no, never mind.’’ Another sip. ‘’Forget it. Just eat and stay as long as you like.’’

‘’Jaebeom?’’ In a reflex, after swiftly wiping fatty fingertips on the coarse paper napkin, the bookshop keeper is grabbed by the sleeve as he tries to move away. Alarmed by the sudden bold move, non-matching irises briefly flare with an odd mixture of fear and annoyance before seemingly realizing something and thus calming down. All this goes hidden behind a badly enacted tolerating low hum. ‘’Can you, I mean, only if you don’t mind, could you... could you stay here? For a little while? At least sit down for a few more minutes. I promise I won’t stare as I did and actually read.’’

‘’You want me to... stay?’’ Dark brows furrow in a strange confusion, uncomprehending of the normal request. Although, perhaps it is not so casual seeing as it needs to be thought about. ‘’Stay? Here?’’

‘’If you don’t mind? I’m sorry if I freaked you out, I really didn’t mean to.’’

‘’You didn’t. I should be the one apologizing for being so distant.’’

‘’I don’t blame you. You barely know me.’’

‘’I don’t know you.’’ The observation hits hard, the sternness of the reply crucifying the heart and constricting the throat. How odd a fact should have this result. Withal, the misplaced hurt is a little soothed by the promise that follows. ‘’I’ll stay. But I’ll be closing in about two hours.’’

And thus, for one hour and a half, the paper kingdom falls quiet. Solely the tinkering tears of heaven decorating the glass of the windows, howling winds stirring the richly warm leaves into dance and occasional wandering lonely umbrella break the silence. Inside, the only noise to disrupt the hush is the turn of a page or sniffle that may or may not prelude to a cold. 

However, all tranquil beauty knows an end for Time always runs out. Henceforth, it is at half past four that a light tap goes paired with the barely audible comment “you have to go”. Likely due to the aftermath of being pulled from a world of poetic Nature into gloomy Reality, there is a wrong perception of Jaebeom’s voice. Surely, the sorrowful reluctance is imagined.

As you said, you don’t know me.

The mere thought pains Body and Soul when grabbing the navy trenchcoat off of the faux leather arm rest, stepping towards the bookshelf where Keats was found and the exit afterwards. No chance of wandering a little longer between the books is given, the clerk following closely behind and unconsciously guiding feet towards the entrance.

‘’Y/N? Will you, uh…’’ Restless trembling palms hover in the air like two bent paws failing to illustrate something, a rosy flush spread over the cheeks, ‘’Can I put your jacket on? I mean, let me help you put your jacket on. That’s how you say it, right?’’

With an affirming hum, big palms with slightly chubby digits are allowed to help dress into the piece of clothing.

Glide over the side of the neck when collecting hair to make it flow over the collar instead of being tucked beneath it, leaving a trail of goosebumps and sharpening breath. 

All the while maintaining eye contact, both our faces distorting with timidity. It is then that glances are haphazardly thrown around the empty store to avoid each other for a second wherein composure is hopefully found. 

And it would appear that the buff tall blonde youth is the first to do so, speech matter-of-factly when voicing an unspoken suggestion while holding on to the upper arms. ‘’I haven’t even asked your name.’’

Bashfully, the answer is uttered in a proper vis-á-vis with entrancing two-toned irises though the urge to bolt out the door remains. Nevertheless, the rapid loss of contact is disliked, JB realizing how the intimacy might come across when glancing at the fingertips digging into fabric, almost begging to stay. ‘’It’s Y/N.’’

The instinct to flee is lessened by the step forward thoughtfully repeating the name, carefully feeling out the syllables as if comprehending a siren’s song. ‘’I had a good time, Y/N.’’

‘’Me too.’’ It is true because, despite the distance that was endeavoured to be closed with food, reading and shallow conversation, the time spent together was actually quite enjoyable. Notwithstanding, too much of the clerk remains unknown to say whether all has been out of politeness or if any sincere trust has been shown.

‘’Even though you’re still scared of me?’’

‘’I’m not!’’ A sigh rolls off the tongue at the sight of a smug grin on roseate lips knowing better than to lie about genuine sentiments. ‘You’re just... just kinda intimidating.’

‘’Kinda? To me it seems like a whole lot more than ‘just kinda’. You almost seem eager to go even though you were hesitating earlier.’’ Bright hazelnut and the summer sea are overcast by lonely grief putting on the airs of suppressed rage, painfully re-establishing and enhancing the distance that was briefly shortened with a step backwards. ‘’To get away from me. Make up your mind.’’

‘’Yes, I’m intimidated by you. A lot.’’ The renewed cold emptiness is warily bridged, planning out the words to say to not make matters worse. ‘’And, to be honest, I don’t want to go. Still, it’s because you intimidate me I might seem uneasy and glad to go, but I can assure you I’m not. I really had a good time. We might not have talked a lot, but I still had a splendid afternoon. With you. And for that, I’m grateful. I’m sorry I confuse you, make you feel awkward because of my behaviour.’’

The waterfall of a confession catches the bookshop keeper off guard, but also manages to make tense broad shoulders lower their defenses as colourful eyes calm down. Digits rise from the pockets of loose ripped jeans to envelop the upper arms once more, this time rubbing them reassuringly and let the personal walls crumble too. ‘You don’t have to be afraid of me nor apologize. Look, we’ll talk about this another time. For now, you have to go and I have to close the shop. Get home safely and don’t catch a cold.’

‘’You too.’’ 

‘’Don’t worry. I won’t.’’

With a last nod and gentle smile relieved at the prospect of good health, warm palms are stepped away from.

The watery autumn chill cools the heat from being seen off by blonde locks.

I couldn’t get sick even if I wanted to.

When the enchanting scent of summer citrus, autumnal blackberries and juicy peaches has faded, the two volumes that were touched by it are picked from the shelves without a clear understanding of why. Neither is there a sense of comprehension when it comes to the sheer curiosity about what it is that the adorable shy doe so likes about these specific poets. Notwithstanding, both books are picked up and put on the counter alongside the current read to take upstairs after sweeping and properly closing the shop.

Which does not take long, soon after already stumbling up the metal stairs to the apartment above the establishment with a famished stomach and tense muscles, watching the oppressive concrete clouds slightly give way to the lilac dusk before heading inside. Fortunately, dinner has been prepared in advance so the various side dishes solely need to be warmed up in the microwave just like the rice in the cooker. The hair dye job, however, will have to wait until tomorrow. That is, if it is remembered like the face of the local historian who seems awfully fascinated by the affliction distorting identity.

Shedding off the weight of the day, clothes are removed and tossed on the couch to be replaced by the bathrobe that was put there in the morning after yet another long night filled with amnesia. Afterwards, bare feet trod to the kitchen to retrieve the cold dishes from the refrigerator and put them in the microwave to heat up. 

It’s getting late, but at least there’s still some time to read. Funny how my last thought is of you.

Just as the melancholic thought arises over a big bowl of bibimbap accompanied by William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience, the screen of the phone on the counter lights up after a brief buzz. When getting up to check, the message appears to be from the supernatural scholar.

“Good luck tonight. I’ll be at your place around 7. Hopefully, you’ll be yourself again. If not, I’ll wait outside. Jinyoung.”

As always, the text is signed with the young man’s name to help ease the recovery of ever-fading memory. Even after living around three years among humans again, the ability to recall actual names alongside how to enact civilized behaviour remains hard.

And becomes more difficult with every passing day.

For now, I want to try. I want to speak to you at least one more time and explain myself. Part ways on good terms, let you know what I am.

A smile cannot be helped at the sight of the bowl next to the mustard poetry bundle, vividly re-imagining how it was held by small hands on the faux leather sofa this afternoon. 

How those same tiny digits tore off half of the croissant without hesitation and offered it to an animal, nibbling adorably on theirs while endeavouring to put on a human act and failing due to the hunger always preceding hell.

But a fantasy never lasts.

Time never stops. 

It solely ticks.

Runs out.

Hopefully, I’ll remember you.

And the moon cannot be sworn by for She cannot stay away nor remain the same. 

That night, the name of the bookish fawn is the last powerful word to recall before losing a grip on the world in the cold dark illuminated by artificial light. 

Naked and shackled beneath the concrete ground.

Hoping for a memory. 

Y/N.

[stilesxeveryone]

The Rewatch, pt2

Feel free to message me about any of my dot points! Ultimately this is just for me, so I can remember all my thoughts the next time I do a season or episode specific fics, but I greatly encourage discussion!! None of my friends watch teen wolf so I can’t discuss things with them :(

Season 1, episode 7

Stiles: I’m not scared of you!

Peter: and I took that personally

To be honest I don’t think I’d ever take a werewolf fight to my high school, like everything is gonna be locked and oh god there are so many stairs and nowhere to hide

I will still never understand why Scott threw Derek under the bus in this episode? Like I feel like saying Derek is the murderer that’s behind everything just raises way more questions than answers and would cause more problems than solutions

Stiles punching Jackson? Valid and wonderful

Okay I’m gonna be honest here, there was a big old chunk of this episode that was just dramatic tension and no dialogue so I did not follow a single part of that because I’m also drawing dinosaurs at the moment

Also I find it interesting that Peter (the big bad alpha) seems to want Scott to kill his friends and join him as pack member. Why does he decide that one pack member is better than turning the others and forcing them to join as well? Maybe he believes it will create stronger loyalty, but in my opinion I feel like numbers are more important at this point in time

Season 1, episode 8

Oh no I hate this episode

Scott and Lydia kissing is actually one of the worst things I’ve ever seen (and why I hate this episode), and wow asshole move from both of them

Watching this episode makes me feel less bad about the fic I half-finished where Scott major attacks Stiles on a full moon because uhhh, it’s kinda accurate to the asshole ways of early Scott

Werewolf - now with added visual hallucinations? (Also I still hate their beta shift faces so much, especially Derek’s)

Okay but yes to a canon divergence AU where Chris and Kate Argent think that Stiles is the second beta werewolf instead of Jackson

Season 1, episode 9

I really wish they put in like any effort at all to make the photos that Scott sends to Allison actual photos? Instead of just screenshots from previous episodes? Like where are my cute couples selfies or sneaky candid photos during study dates and shit

Jackson dos a really good job at being absolutely creepy, like I hate it but also good shit

Stiles, at literally every interaction with Derek, saying he’s not afraid of him and being confident and then immediately being frightened by him (and the same happening with Peter in the high school) is character consistency and I appreciate that

I wish people wrote more Stiles and Danny friendships tbh (as well as relationships to be fair), I just really enjoy all their scenes together

“You must be Stiles” yes bitch!!! I always find it funny how fucking soft Peter says that line, like his voice is so gentle even though he’s meant to be the big bad wolf and all that

I’ve been meaning to say this since episode one but I love the music they use, as in the actual songs and such, but I literally hate the instrumental stuff they use. Very rarely does it build tension the right way and it almost never sounds nice

Season 1, episode 10

I still continue to not at all understand why Peter needs Scott

“You’re way too pretty to be out here all by yourself”

Okay but Allison/Lydia power couple (Lydia looks so good with red lipstick)

The whole scene of Stiles’ father being drunk and saying “I miss talking to you, and I miss your mum” is so soft and sad and personal and I love it

Oh my god I totally forgot about the part where Peter takes Scott’s mum on a date, that’s so weird

Also “you have incredible skin” is so serial killer-y, I can’t believe Melissa let him get away with that

Jackson really needs to listen to his gut more, like stop trusting the scary wolf men and go do some homework (also wow Derek really ripped into him about the fact that no one cares about him)

Season 1, episode 11

My god, Derek deserves to kill Kate. She’s so gross and he deserves a little revenge

Allison getting Lydia to go with Stiles to the dance! I forgot about that! As always, give me Allison/Stiles sibling/best friend relationship or give me death! Also Stiles/Lydia friendship is very good as well

Did Peter just say that Allison should go for a lighter dress? While she’s holding a black and white dress? Sir this makes no sense (also Allison looks great in dark outfits)

Also there’s no way teachers don’t immediately notice Jackson giving alcohol to some of the other kids, they’d be watching the drinks like hawks dude

Jackson goes through so much this season (and the next), it makes me feel so sorry for him

The CGI for Peter’s fangs extending is honestly so gross and I hate it

“Because you’re the clever one, aren’t you” if only more people understood this

Season 1, episode 12

Peter making a period joke is so,, absolutely unnecessary and weird and I hate it

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Allison’s mum is a snake and I hate her

Also Allison basically has to decide on whether her boyfriend is a monster or if her aunt (and family in general) are monsters and that is a tough decision, especially with how manipulative Kate is. I don’t remember what exactly she does in season 2 but idk how much I can blame her for it

Parking garage scene!! My favourite to read canon divergent scenes about

In defense of Scott, some of my passwords do in fact involve the name of my significant other, but in argument against Scott, I’m a little more creative than just his first name

I wish this show gave me the classic wolf howls instead of the weird, low, grumbly sound that makes no sense to me

I tried writing a parking garage AU once and it went horribly, but I think I’ll be coming back to it soon! Having some very fun ideas right now

Stiles and Chris scene! God bless Stiles just straight up not taking any of his shit and putting him in his place about the Hale fire

Also I don’t think it gets mentioned enough that Jackson witnesses this entire scene of Stiles standing up against the big bad hunter

I honestly really like that the code is “we hunt those who hunt us”, I think it’s valid and it’s more about self defense, even if Kate and the others don’t treat it like that

They really set Peter on fire again, huh, definitely not adding to his trauma and major pain or anything

Overall I do enjoy this season, I mean there’s a reason I continued watching it and am back here again for another rewatch. I think there are definitely some issues with the writing, of character morals and motivations not always aligning with their actions and that kind of thing. I really hope that as the show continues I see improvement in Tyler Posey’s acting, because until now I’ve never really paid too much attention to him honestly (which is a concern since he’s the main character).

I do really wish that they didn’t set Peter on fire, and I find it interesting that Stiles and Jackson were more involved with Peter’s death than Scott was. Although if Scott (or anyone other than Derek) killed Peter we would have avoided like all of season 2, but I do enjoy season 2.

I really enjoy seeing the characters interacting with each other honestly, especially Stiles interacting with any of the “bad guys” and the bad guys (Chris, Derek, Peter) and I really wish we got to see him talk with Kate, honestly.

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[rosiebrie]

What I liked in the finale (not in order because I'm listing them as I think of them, after watching):

- Varian can play the piano!

- Rapunzel with long brown hair

- Rapunzel's quips about hallway decor

- Rapunzel cuts her own hair

- Lance legally adopting Kiera and Catalina

- Zhan Tiri/Demanitus flashback makes them sound like quarreling lovers and I just have even more questions

- Zhan Tiri's little forked tongue and hiss moment

- Baby Vigor in the flashback

- The monkey scene was cute and also short

- THE "I LOVE YOUS" EXCHANGED BETWEEN RAPS AND CASS, GAAHH MY SAPPHIC HEART IS ASCENDING

- The magical friends the Coronans make in the lost dimension

- Zhan Tiri burning that hole in the floor was cool

- Everything about dark squid goat demon Zhan Tiri final form was epic

- Eugene and Edmund's fight + Edmund destroying the mind trap and hugging Eugene after he forgives him

- Varian taking precautions with the helmet that knocks Quirin out

- Eugene getting beat up by the Brotherhood was brutal but I love angst

- Max climbs

- Hector falling into the river really made me laugh

- Rapunzel cradling Cass against her chest while she breaks down

- Rapunzel's song in Cass' room broke my heart

- As did Cass destroying her room at the beginning of the ep

- Demanitus is HANDSOME. He looks so much like Quirin dudes. I hands down believe that Quirin and Varian are descended from him.

- Varian built that portal in like 10 seconds

- The snake hair talks

- Catalina turns into a werewolf when Zhan Tiri grabs her

- THE CALLBACKS TO THE END OF THE MOVIE W/ CASS AND NEW DREAM AT THE END. THE HUG AND THE HEALING INCANTATION AND AHDJFMGKL

- THE NEW DREAM PROPOSAL WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE IT

- Cass going off on her own to find her own destiny

- The whole "where are they now?" segment at the end explaining what happened to everyone post-canon

--

What I didn't like:

- Zhan Tiri's adult flashback design lookin like a crusty ass Yzma wannabe

- The group song was cute, but there was so much hype for it that I was kind of caught off guard cuz I was expecting a more... epic tune? XD It was fine though, overall I really liked it.

That goes for the whole episode! Though I've had my issues with some aspects of the story (especially in this last season), I found this finale to be very satisfying. Being in this fandom has been such a fun time, and I'm honored to have seen this enjoyable show all the way through to the end. ♡

[gamerwoo]

Mingi: Child’s Play

Characters: Mingi x gender neutral reader (featuring ateez and skz)

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, angst

Word count: 1,652

Summary: Just because you’re Mingi’s mate doesn’t mean he doesn’t still see you as his rival.

a/n: so i saw this and i really just had to make werewolf!mingi, and also @dearmingki didn’t exactly tell me not to write this. but i also didn’t 100% have a solid plot in mind so uh if anybody thinks it sucks,,,,,u right jkdhfsd (since i’ve been asked so many times: please stop asking if I’ll make a part 2. if i do it, then i do it, but rn, i have zero inspo ok thank u)

Part Two

He’s hated you since you were kids. He wanted to be first to go down the slide in first grade, but you had beat him to it. So as you sat down on the slide, he shoved you down it, and you ended up skinning your knee when you fell on the ground. So then you hated him, too.

As you and Mingi got older, your hatred continued. It grew from stealing each others crayons to purposely hitting your shoulder against his in the hallway or him sticking his leg out to trip you in class. Even when you moved away when you were in your sophomore year of high school, you loathed Mingi. You’d still hear about him from your friends -- how handsome he’d gotten, how deep his voice was now -- but you’d just roll your eyes.

Then you heard that he had a massive growth spurt, and then ran away from home for a week. Nobody could find him until Kim Hongjoong pulled up to Mingi’s house with the boy in question in his passenger seat one Saturday morning. But you just scoffed and said, “he should’ve stayed gone”.

Mingi caught word of a similar story. All the neighboring towns and cities were buzzing about the missing 16-year-old who had supposedly run away from home. But seeing your most recent photo in the paper -- it was your school photo from your new school -- made him feel...indifferent. Part of him didn’t care if you were going through some rebellious phase where you ran away from home, but another part of him wondered if something bad had happened to you. Part of him wondered if -- and hoped, even -- you would even come home.

But he never heard if you did.

You had eventually returned home, but only after you got yourself under control. After your pulse had started to rapidly beat, your skin had gotten hot, and you watched as claws expanded out of your fingers, you had bolted out of your house and into the woods just to hide from your parents before they got home. But then you had shifted into some giant wolf as you were running, and you couldn’t figure out how to shift back. Could you even shift back? Or were you stuck like this forever?

You were lucky that a familiar face found you despite the fact you were deep in the forest, far away from home. Though, you wouldn’t find out until later that they found you because Chan sensed that there was somebody in his pack not too far from him.

“_____, it’s okay,” Changbin had tried to calm you down, being the first to find you after his pack went out and split up in search of the stray werewolf that turned out to be you. “You just have to calm down, and you can change back.”

But nobody could get you calm until Chan showed up. The alpha -- your alpha -- managed to coax you into changing back after calming you down, and then wrapping you in a blanket since you didn’t have any clothes. Then he brought you back to his apartment and let you borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt so he could bring you home.

But that was years ago. You weren’t in high school anymore, and you were finally used to being a werewolf. You had moved in with Changbin and Hyunjin after you graduated, and your apartment was only a floor below Chan’s. All of your pack mates treated you like family, and you loved them dearly -- even if they did constantly get into mischief. But you didn’t think about stupid Song Mingi for years, and that was what mattered.

Until Chan called for a ‘pack meeting’...

“We’re forming this treaty with another pack,” he explained before he looked at you with an amused expression. “They’re actually located where _____ came from.”

“What?” you asked as your expression turned to confusion. There was a werewolf pack in your hometown?

“What do they need from us, though?” Minho wondered.

“Apparently some werewolf hunters have been hanging around the area, so they want our help if they ever attack,” the alpha elaborated, running a hand through his hair. “I figured a few of us could go for the weekend to scope things out; make the deal and whatnot. I assumed _____ would wanna go.”

You shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips, “I haven’t really been home in a while...”

“I wanna go, too!” Felix smiled as he threw his hand into the air.

“Alright, so it’ll be me, Woojin, Felix, and _____,” Chan nodded.

“Who’s in charge while you’re gone?” Jisung wondered.

Chan just scoffed, “None of you. Just stay out of trouble.”

-

Being back home felt better than you thought it would. Everything was so familiar but just slightly different in ways you couldn’t place. But overall, it brought back a lot of nostalgia that had you faintly smiling non-stop. Your pack took notice of it, too, and thought it was adorable -- especially Felix who wouldn’t stop cooing at you.

“So who is this pack?” Woojin wondered as Chan drove the four of you to your destination to meet this pack for the first time. 

“I just know their alpha’s name is Hongjoong,” Chan replied, not really paying attention since he was trying to listen to the GPS.

Your eyes widened as you pushed yourself forward to physically interject yourself into the conversation, your hands on the driver and passenger seats, “Wait, Kim Hongjoong?”

Chan didn’t even look at you as he replied, “Yeah, why?”

“Ooh, is he one of your old friends?” Felix asked excitedly. “Do we get to meet your friends from home?”

“Not really,” you shrugged. “I knew of him but we were friends. He was friends with somebody else I knew.”

“So...friend of a friend?”

“Friend of an asshole,” you corrected with acid in your tone.

Your hatred for Mingi suddenly flooded back into you. You hadn’t thought of him in years, and now you were angry all over again.

The road Hongjoong lived on was familiar, but the house wasn’t. It was at the very end of a dead-end street that you’d never seen the end of. His house was secluded, but it still looked pretty cute. It looked like it would house a few more people than just him, though. 

The car parked in the driveway, and as the four of you got out, the front door to the house opened. Hongjoong led a whole pack out the door, smiling politely when he saw your alpha. You were only paying attention to Hongjoong because of his alpha aura that he radiated.

“Thank you for coming all this way,” he said with a smile. “We really appreciate-- Oh, _____! It’s been a really long time.”

You nodded, feeling a little awkward that one of Mingi’s friends knew and recognized you. You just hoped they weren’t still friends.

“Hey,” was all you really said.

“Wait,” a deep voice that sounded unfamiliar but also kind of familiar at the same time spoke up. It made your heart beat in a way you couldn’t explain, either; in a way it never had before, “_____?”

Through the small crowd of Hongjoong’s pack, Mingi pushed through. He definitely had gotten taller, and his voice had definitely gotten deeper. He also just looked more mature, but that wasn’t really your primary focus right now.

You just knew when you looked at Mingi that he was it. You’d heard what imprinted was supposed to feel like, but you didn’t know what it actually would be like, but you just knew. Despite the anger bubbling in you, you felt an intense love and care for your only archenemy, and it was all very confusing. Your gaze completely zeroed in on him, blocking out the rest of the world, so you didn’t see how your pack and his were looking at you, realizing what was happening.

But Mingi was going through the same thing, and he was the first to speak on it.

“Fuck,” he said plainly before he scoffed and shook his head. “No, this is-- No.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Hongjoong wondered.

Mingi whipped around to face his alpha, pointing over at you, “That’s _____!”

“Like, the _____?” somebody from his pack chuckled. “Wow, fate must really hate you two.”

Chan looked at you curiously, “_____, who is that?”

As you opened your mouth to speak, Mingi interrupted with his stupid, big, loud mouth, “It doesn’t matter because you’re all leaving. We don’t need the help.”

“Mingi--” Hongjoong tried to scold him.

“I don’t want them around me!” Mingi stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’ll die if they’re not,” one of his pack mates said in a quiet, monotone voice like they really didn’t care either way.

Honestly, neither did you.

Mingi’s golden eyes landed on you, realizing that he forgot about that bit. If a werewolf was denied their mate, they would slowly die. So he either had to put up with you or die. But you were in the same predicament, and dying didn’t seem too bad right now.

He growled lowly before he rolled his eyes and seemed to just accept his fate.

“Whatever,” he spat. “But stay away from me while you’re here. And if anything happens, I don’t want your help.”

“No problem,” you promised with a sarcastic smirk.

Mingi stormed back into the house while you stomped over to the car to wait in the backseat instead.

After the two of you left, Felix quietly said, “Twenty bucks says they end up absolutely in love by the end of this.”

San from Mingi’s pack laughed, not even bothering to keep his voice down, “I’ll bet twenty-five that they’re hate-fucking each other by Sunday.”

[templeofshame]

along the same lines as my criticism of “flesh and bone,” i feel like the endpoint of “run away from you” is a bit muddled? overall the lyrics are much better imo but at the end, the big climactic thing is that even if he had a choice, he would still choose his werewolf nature over his partner. which is interesting and unexpected! but then he keeps apologizing for it and saying he’s gonna try to act more like a man. which really undercuts that point. i mean, i guess he hates that he would choose that even if it were a choice? so is he trying to change that about himself? idk.

i think part of what muddies it is also what we’re actually talking about here. like, is this a story about shame about your identity as a werewolf, and the fact that he would still choose to do werewolf things if he had a choice could be analogous to like, marginalized identities you don’t choose but if you could change it, you wouldn’t? in which case telling your partner you’re sorry and you’ll try to be less werewolf is kinda tragic and embracing it is kinda triumphant, and maybe what we’d want to see is the werewolf coming out to the partner about being a werewolf.

or, is the werewolf life secret because it is a betrayal of the partner, and the metaphor more analogous to cheating. we get this in “untrue” and “what my werewolf heart is doing to you” and it has Oz/Willow Wild at Heart vibes. but then the whole concept of choice/identity has totally different meaning, like the sense that it is in this guy’s “nature” to cheat on his partner, and he doesn’t have agency over it, but even if he did, he would still do it... yeah that doesn’t sound so likeable. and the apologies make a lot more sense, and the idea of working to act “like a man” and not like a werewolf becomes about respecting the agreements of the relationship. (but also with our understanding that he doesn’t have agency over his werewolf transformation, is it even possible for him to “do all that [he] can to start acting like a man”? what “can” he do??)

but either way, as an arc, it sort of feels like it won’t commit to what the endpoint is. i think the song where he’s realizing that he feels bad about keeping secrets and not being what his partner wants him to be, but that’s who he is and if he had the choice, he wouldn’t change it is interesting. and the song where he’s doing sneaky werewolf things but he feels bad about it and wants to work on self-improvement and come up with ways to prioritize his relationship more is interesting too. (in both cases, i would recommend talking to the partner, but hey, that’s not this song.) but i just don’t think as a story arc that it works to have it both ways.

as a song, it totally does work, it’s great, i’ve been listening to it for years and it doesn’t generally bother me. i understand why he wouldn’t be motivated to clean up the arc, especially because it’s not in a show. but it does have echoes of that muddy story arc in “flesh and bone” and it gives me thoughts about his songwriting approach and the way he creates story arcs in songs when he knows they’re largely going to be subject to casual listening as a fun song.

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  Sorry you’re having a bad focus day, but I hope it’s not been too terrible overall!  Time to see how much I can ramble for what’s left of my lunch break again.

First, that project screenshot makes me so happy, omg, my heart. 😍  Also I now REALLY want to try and work some more canine traits into the dating fic, if I can just figure out a good way to do it.  😆

And I am also TOTALLY HERE for koala wall hugs between those two.  Yes, please.  Always.  I just happened to think of Chris first, because of the whole being restrained thing.  😉  But that thought is ABSOLUTELY 😍😍😍.

And I had thought hostel (because boy do I remember that experience), but I feel like somehow I’d got the impression this con was in the US, and we don’t really have those? Idk, I mostly was just really amused at two dudes in their 40s sharing bunk beds.  😆

“Has a tendency to fall apart when handled too rough” sounds like one of those fake warning labels people get on t-shirts.  😂

Those socks were pretty amazing.  I always get sad that my legs are usually too fat to fit cute knee socks of any kind.  (Also, I feel like the ultimate question is if Noah and Malia have any matching pairs. 😆)

And all the yes to that image.  Bonus if he has a ratty plaid like mine on, open of course, with everything else.  Poor Peter and Chris are standing in the doorway waffling endlessly between horrified and charmed, very turned on but mad at themselves about it.  🤣

Omg, that scene with Meredith touching his faces kills me every time.  It’s why I was like “Noah is going to use every excuse to touch him in the dating fic, and Peter will still have no idea how to handle it, even though he doesn’t want it to stop, either.”

On the age thing; I feel like I saw someone speculate that the reason he looks so young in the flashback is because he’s telling it, and we’re seeing it from his POV, so it’s how he sees himself in his head, even if it doesn’t match the actual reality.  This does sort of fit with the whole “unreliable narrator” thing, and is something I feel a lot of people tend to do as they get older.  So that’s how I tended to look at it as far as the visual difference, anyway.  And I just thought the idea of him being the same age as the original kid was funny.

Anyway, I’m late heading back.  I may write more later if I realize there’s anything I’ve forgotten right now.  Hope you get some decent rest, and have a good day tomorrow!  Take care!  *Hugs!*

Hey B!

It’s been pretty abysmal to the point where I completely derailed my appointment with my weekly social worker by openly discussing Omegaverse with her (she’s used to a lot, and that wasn’t the weirdest thing she heard this week, so, but still. I also showed her the spider rain.)

Yesssss do IT! We need more canine traits in these fics XD Also I’ve been listening to this song again and decided to make that the title of this fic:

Welcome the the Family || Little Big Town

I may have taken some inspiration with your idea of the farmer’s market (but come on, that seems perfect for them) and them watching the game. (Noah def has those striped socks) But yeah it’s just gonna be a cute little fic. That I will write tomorrow because I am exhausted and I need at least some decent sleep this week.

It will also contain the Koala hug, of course XD

I know they have hostels in NYC and around that area? But I didn’t know you didn’t have them throughout the country. Filing that away as a random bit of knowledge.

And honestly, I feel like that should be on my t-shirts XD

We’re horny and we’re mad about it is the first thought that comes to mind for that and honestly, beautiful 🤣😂

I honestly just watched that episode because of that scene (well I skimmed to the parts of Lydia and the sheriff and let those play out and replayed the scene with Meredith and Peter several times) and my god, the faces, the subtlety of Ian’s emotions there. You can tell Peter is having such an inner turmoil and urgh it kills me ever single time. 

I definitely also need to put that aversion into my stories and how people around him respond to it and try to help him with it.

Also I reread that chart and my god that man survived so much. Fourth degree burns? Which basically means that you’re charcoal to your tendons/bones. And he healed from that. Damn, that is impressive power and it solidified the idea for me that Peter Hale is one of the strongest, if not the strongest werewolf on the show. Because that basically means you have to regrow skin, bone, muscle, tendons, blood vessels, and nerves. And it’s not like reattaching an amputated limb (which we have also seen him do) it’s literally regrowing it from scratch. Also as an Omega, he was one of the strongest, and capable of fighting off 3 Ghost riders at some point.

As for the age thing I did think on it more today whenever I strayed off and just kept coming back to it. The unreliable narrator might have been kicking in there. For that matter, I saw a speculation that the whole scene might not have been Derek’s memory at all and that the whole situation with Paige is how it played out for Peter. Or, in other words, Derek and Paige never had a relationship, this was Peter’s story and he subbed in Derek for himself and added himself as an outsider looking in. Which I found fascinating as a theory.

The age thing just kinda rattled me for a bit XD Idk why.

But anyway, hope you enjoy the little graphic, and I loved the new chapter of IYWTD (still want to comment on it but I couldn’t focus today) and it’s adorable. But I’m gonna go catch some sleep and be in bed before midnight today. 

Hope your shift goes well!

Love Ben and Mo <3 Take care!

[ipromiseimawriter]

CALM by 5SOS - almost-review

i never know how to rank / rate songs so i am just here to scream and share the vibes

overall??? i really enjoyed myself. i’ve listened to them on and off over the years (”good girls” smacks and i refuse to argue about this), but properly got on board with youngblood. and then this happened. and i am So Stoked to be here.

red desert: this is such a good album opener??? chills?? i danced around my room listening to it on repeat? like this album kicks ass but how do you get to the rest of it when this is the first song on the album? it feels like a roadtrip that you never want to end - incredibly cinematic. maybe it’s their famous ensemble vocals, or the cool western-y beat, but like.... sign me up, y’all

no shame: this was my favorite single. it was “teeth” and then it was this. the aesthetic is flawless, the bass line gives me chills. i put it on several playlists. also i’m such a sucker for songs criticizing fame/the industry, and this one was so fun and very tongue-in-cheek. (also “digging my grave to get a reaction”? bruh.) each time i re-listen, i get something new out of it.

old me: sentimental. tender. put this on the same score as “little league” by conan gray (a lot of good music has come out recently.) it’s a love song to the self above all things, and i love that for them. and it’s not narcissistic / not self-defeating; it’s earnest. instrumentally, it is a little simpler than some of the other pieces (until the drums kick up some), but y’know what? it genuinely works for this song. no disapproval here.

easier: i wasn’t huge on this at first. however, it makes a lot of sense in the overall sound of this album, and i find it growing on me. it fits the themes of the album and we love cohesive albums without total repeats. plus how can you say no to luke’s falsettos? exactly, you can’t. carry on with reading this.

teeth: this song is about a guy and his hot werewolf girlfriend who’s having trouble handling her transformations. i will not be taking criticism at this time. okay - also much like no shame, the energy of this song is incredible for me. it’s kinda sexy, don’t judge me. i appreciate this song as one of the more gritty pieces. i understand why some people aren’t loving it, but this kind of energy is my jam.

wildflower: THE! OPENING!! everyone say THANK YOU CALUM HOOD, his vocals make me go :’) i love the genius commentary about this song, about how it’s a great positive, euphoric stadium song without being cheesy. this is also going on the roadtrip playlist. “sunflower vol. 6″′s more hype sibling. using the phrase “a fatal love song” makes me think that they’re afraid of how happy they are. (which hurts.)

best years: :-) BUMP THIS SONG AT A WEDDING. i love that this song is luke’s favorite. (i like that michael is on it too.) any song that uses the term “darling” instantly wrecks me, it’s so sincere. i am getting teary-eyed right now as i write this. in comparison to some of the others, this song is so certain of the love it expresses, no matter how unsure things have been or will continue to be. it is youth and maturity, hand-in-hand.

not in the same way: this seriously feels like a coming-of-age movie soundtrack piece. this could’ve been in someone great on netflix? (netflix hit me up i will write a movie for you.) the phrase “hurricane insert name” feels so personal? this song has big personal ouches for me personally. it’s so unsteady and so heartbroken over a relationship that you can’t make sense out of. :-(

lover of mine: i want someone to sing this to me as we fall asleep. this might be one of the best love songs they’ve ever done. “when i take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing i think i got right.” like?? holy shit. love a good love song about second chances. i want to give luke hemmings a hug after this.

thin white lies: putting this song right after “lover of mine” feels like a crime. (it is, i’m in pain.) the pleading for clarity after being hurt hits different. (it’s a theme in songs that i am quite fond of, because it’s so human to just want to know why.) you can practically read the letter this person wrote to evoke these words. also like, you can tell pretty quick, but using this title is a fine line away from “lines.” implying a dangerous addiction.... woof.

lonely heart: this has a similar guitar pattern to lover of mine? maybe another song? and i want to know if it’s On Purpose. i think so because it’s def a similar one - but it’s more declarative! lover of mine is in the quiet of your room and lonely heart is standing on a rooftop, pleading with the stars to let the lover stay. (also shoutout to the union vocals in this mmmm good) (this album has a lot of those and it.... is good.)

high: the breath on the first “highly” sent chills down my spine. he keep doing that and i’m in love. this song weirdly makes me want to cry? no actually i do know - ending this album about having to move on from someone who won’t remember you is, again, a crime. a lovely crime, because it’s a damn good work. i almost want it earlier in the album?? but like. again. i do get it. i must reiterate that.

i’m gonna go listen to it for the rest of the day bye

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hey, can i ask you to update the hogwarts tag ? Thank you so much you’re really the best blog out there

Oh yes! My fav. And the tag.  - Anastasia

Jump Right Out (and Into My Heart) by OverMyFreckledBody

(1/1 I 565 I General I Sterek)

He nods his head and clenches his fists a little tighter into the robes he's wearing, and his mother nods back at him before continuing, "But there is one thing. We have a reputation to uphold. One of dramatics and poise. You must answer your Sorting with flair –"

Derek interrupts her, not with words, but with a rolling of his eyes and she pauses. Then, ever so slowly, a proud smile unfurls onto her lips. "That's my boy."

--

Or;

Derek lives up well to his family's reputation - until he encounters a blip named Stiles.

Tea Leaves by DarkAliceLilith

(1/1 I 605 I General I Cora/Lydia)

“Ithinkit’saheart.”

Lydia smiled. “I didn’t catch that, Cora, can you say it again?”

Our little love would last by sarahcakes613

(1/1 I 1,605 I General I Stydia)

Stiles has been in love with Lydia Martin for nearly seven years, and today is the day he’s going to tell her.

he's pretty nice for a slytherin by 6lytherin

(1/1 I 799 I Teen I Liam/Theo)

Theo meets the troublesome duo for the first time, and of course he has to save them from whatever craziness they've gotten into now.

First To Ask Out by literaryoblivion

(1/1 I 1,439 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles wants to ask Derek to go to Hogsmeade with him for Halloween, but what if he says no?

Meanwhile Derek wants to ask Stiles to Hogsmeade but he overheard him tell Scott he was going to ask someone else. Should he try to beat him to the punch before he can ask the other person?

I Smell You, Too by CallMeHopeless

(1/1 I 1,673 I Teen I Sterek)

Draco is happy with his job as potions master. He likes the day when he gets to teach his students the Amortentia potion best. Trust a handful of Slytherins and Gryffindors make him overthink his choices.

He definitely noticed you. by newtypeshadow

(1/1 I 2,660 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles was following the sounds of movement to the only open doorway when the screaming started. The man’s agonized cries were augmented by the sound of breaking bones. Stiles was through the doorway with his wand out before it occurred to him to be afraid, but by then it was too late.

Derek Hale—fifth year, walking wet dream, star quidditch beater, Gryffindor’s most eligible bachelor, and Stiles’s crush since first year—was curled up on the floor and turning into a wolf.

Derek was a werewolf.

Derek was a rampaging monster that killed people on the full moon...and he was looking right at Stiles.

OR: the Hogwarts AU where Stiles follows Derek past the Whomping Willow and into the Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon.

Where You Belong by AutumnLeavesSoaring

(1/1 I 3,127 I General I No Pairing)

Whilst the Sorting Hat was truly nothing more than a bewitched item of clothing, it was also an entity that stared deeply into the minds of children, saw into their very souls, and picked a path for them. It often mused that it knew each of its students better than anything or anyone else, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that it had once known them in such intimate detail.

“Perhaps you're a reflection of us, and not the founders, a mirror in which we can judge ourselves.”

Not Exactly a Love Potion by glorious_spoon

(1/1 I 4,066 I General I Sterek)

Stiles and Derek have been rivals since first year, but the Yule Ball is coming up and somehow everything has changed. 

Oblivious by bitacrytic

(2/2 I 5,395 I General I Sterek)

Things were cool when Stiles was goofy and people ignored him. Things were fine when he wasn’t interested in Quidditch. But now, everyone wants a piece of Stiles and Derek doesn’t think things are cool anymore.

Amor Potio Numero Novem by Welsh_Woman

(3/3 I 6,346 I Teen I Sterek)

Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski have been best friends throughout their Hogwarts Years, despite a rocky start and the involvement of the rest of the school, due to Stiles' 'evil Slytherin' status. It seems that friendship might be in trouble, though, due to a mishap in Potions that Derek is having a hard time remembering...

Wolves in Hogwarts by emmathedilemma

(7/? I 8,980 I General I Stydia)

The golden trio that wasn't talked about as much but was just as adventurous as the original. Follow Scott, Stiles and Lydia into their seven years of Hogwarts. With death, fights but overall jokes and happiness breaded in.

Pink Is For Pining (You, You, Nothing But You) by clotpolesonly

(1/1 I 10,946 I General I Sterek)

“You know you could just ask him out, right?” Scott asked.

Stiles stuffed the toast in his mouth and hoped he wasn’t blushing. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you have a ginormous crush on him.”

“I do not, shut up,” Stiles hissed as well as he could around a mouthful of toast.

“Your pink hair says differently,” Scott sing-songed at him.

***

In which Stiles is a supremely socially awkward metamorphmagus with a crush, Derek is a quietly pining werewolf, and Scott and Lydia are done with their stubbornness and stupidity.

How To Meme Your Way Into His Heart by nana_banana

(1/1 I 14,555 I Teen I Sterek)

Dressed as Batman, Mieczysław “Stiles” Stilinski breaks into the Restricted Section of the school library at 1 AM, but he's caught by Gryffindor's Head Boy. And while he definitely doesn't plan it, Stiles finds himself running for his life through the halls of the castle in the middle of the night alongside one very Grumpy Cat.

Well, Nothing Seems to Matter by whynotnow

(12/? I 22,695 I Mature I Sterek)

It’s bad enough being a secret werewolf trying to woo a girl like Kate Argent. Derek definitely doesn’t need Stilinski, a Slytherin that everyone says is a Death Eater in the making, butting into his life at every turn.

Stiles, meanwhile, is just trying to make sure that dumb Hale kid survives until second year.

Life is a Hell of a Thing to Happen to a Person by RedRidingStiles

(3/? I 24,534 I Explicit I Sterek)

“The moon and the sun will align and bring forth destruction of an already fallen kingdom. The one with the power burning through his blood will band together the ones most lost. The lightning guardian will unlock their true potential. the one who screams for death will learn what loss truly is, the one made of silver with a chip in her sword will go against her birthright, and the ones who chose to follow the red eyes of the moon will gain what they always craved. Each will fall and rise again, the scream will be heard around the world as the last of the alliance falls.”

-Stiles is a super powerful wizard who brings together nine friends to fulfill a prophecy, Derek is a lonely wolf in need of a pack and Stiles gives him one. Based at Hogwarts, everyone is a fifth year. Drinking, magic, scary stiles, pack bonding, romance and lots of feelings.

Merlin Emrys, Wizard by Bod

(9/9 I 26,676 I Teen I Merlin/Arthur)

The Once and Future King has finally returned, and the time is now for Merlin to fulfil his destiny. Merlin decides to join Arthur at Hogwarts in their sixth year, just in time to join the Triwizard Tournament.

say love and death in the same breath (I dare you) by fyeri

(3/8 I 42,237 I Explicit I Sterek I MCD)

Older, wiser and infinitely more jaded, the famed Harry Potter returns once again to Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after twenty-one years. He’s hoping for one last wild adventure that he never got in his seventh year, and as usual, Hogwarts doesn’t disappoint.

Lovesick teens, brooding werewolves, life-threatening curses and the Triwizard Tournament are just some of the roadblocks on his secret mission to spend more one-on-one quality Daddy time with his kids. Can you blame him?

[twilightvolt]

Twilight Thoughts (BEASTARS Episodes 1-4 Part I)

Note: I realized this stretched FAR too long altogether, so i decided to break it up into two parts. that way it’s a tad less intimidating to read.

WARNING: SPOILERS IMMINENT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO'RE DECIDING TO WAIT FOR NETFLIX TO RELEASE THE SHOW FROM PRISON. But hey, if you don't mind, then let's get this show on the road!

Just know for those who've just found me now that I've never read the manga (although I've known about it since last year), so this is from the perspective of an outsider going in completely blind. While I normally am an anime only dude considering I'm not much of a reader, I DO have plans to read it. But, only AFTER the anime has concluded. I gave my reasons in an earlier post.

Ok, so episode 1 gave me feels I didn't ask for but know I'd welcome anyway cuz I just luv torturing myself with a n g s t .

Episode 2 threw all my expectations out the window and made me question if I was even ready to continue watching this show with that ending.

Episode 3 made me truly invested. (as if I weren't already. lmao)

But episode 4 just now?

....goodness, I don't even know WHAT to think if I'm being honest. I still had to process everything long after.

Hmm....where to begin....I guess I'll just start with things I reacted to in episode 1 and go from there. I'll try to recall as much as I can. Grab the popcorn my dudes, you're in for a long ramble. ^ ^'

Episode 1: The One With the Long Ass Title

- Not even three minutes in and someone already dies. Like, b o i . Sure hope that dude wasn't important. Yeah, it's probably n-

- "When the time comes, I'll tell her how I feel!"

.....why would you do this to me, Itagaki? TT__TT

- Right here was also when I learned what Legoshi was like as a character. He was such a sweet cinnabun that he already made it on my list of good bois. Ngl, he reminded me of an old Digimon OC I created way back in 2016 who was a werewolf with the same sorta personality.

- when I saw Louis (Or as I started calling him, Bambi Senpai), I thought "Ok, he's the popular bishie who's probably gonna be a huge asshat." But later in the episode, I started thinking that might not be the case? I mean in this one, he was grade A jerk material. But there was something there. And I'm not just talking about that scene of him pulling on Legoshi's tie. Lmao

- Why y'all gotta be so mean to Haru? Like god, sometimes high school teen drama like this makes me so.....ugh.

- A mongoose voiced by Bakugou was something I never knew I needed to hear.

Overall, a pretty fun and engaging introduction imo. For something that's supposed to be Slice of Life, at least.

Episode 2: Oh Lord That Ending....

- Legoshi not wanting to get out of bed cuz of being depressed felt relatable, but I also felt bad for him despite not knowing what went down at that moment.

- I also wanna see more of his friends, but considering one of them was 2D and the only friend I know that had a spot in the trailers was Jack, I'm not holding my breath about that.

- Legoshi fighting his instincts in a nutshell:

I swear I started hearing Who's There and Borderline of Madness from P4 playing during this moment I am not even kidding. Lmao

- Ok, here's where I noticed Louis was actually nicer than I thought. Cuz even though he seemed mad at the goat boy for eating his script instead of reading it, he still helps him get his lines down.

- The cafeteria fight scene was so funny. "You sound stressed! MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A NAP!" XD

- "Ok think, how can I lose in a natural way?" I luv how Legoshi KNOWS he can kick his ass, but tries his best to strategize how to lose in a believable way. Lmao

- More nice guy points for Bambi Senpai. Though, he seems to be curious about Legoshi for some reason.

- I always like rewatching that scene where the anteater guy ditches Legoshi at the Gardening Club. It's hilarious and the poor wolf acts so cute during that. ^ ^

- To my surprise, Haru didn't seem to remember that night. Which was weird, but then I realized when I went back that the subs threw me off and the goat actually said "Senpai!" so she didn't even know it was him.

- Legoshi too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to what's about to happen and overthinking just wanting to talk was such a mood. *sigh* social anxiety sucks.

- ....You know what I'm about to talk about next.

Like, it's the thing that keeps me from properly recommending this show cuz I have to stop randomly and say "Don't be alarmed by the end of episode 2. I swear it doesn't go anywhere the following episode!" After that, they ENDED THE EPISODE THERE. And I was like "....Wait, thAT'S IT? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" I was both concerned and dying. inside and out. Lmao

- Oh hey, I forgot to talk about the OP and ED sequences! While the ED songs are kinda just ok, their sequences, while very similar, change themes with every episode. This episode was about him and Haru, so it was pretty cute. The OP tho? GOD, I luv Wild Side so much. It's such a bop and I can't wait for them to release the full version. I haven't heard something so jazzy since Wake Up Get Up Get Out There from Persona 5 and I feel like that genre is criminally underused in anime OPs. The sequence itself? SO cute! But also kinda sad cuz it seems to be showing what goes on in Legoshi's mind. He hopes he could get to know Haru and be with her, but it ends with him afraid with a skull and blood everywhere. Almost as if he's thinking "What've I done?" The art direction was really creative too. It reminded me of the stuff you see from Coraline or uhh....Fantastic Mr. Fox? Yeah, that.

Well, i guess that’s that for now. see you guys possibly tomorrow with the second part where i talk about episode 3 and 4!