#I think it's because of my autism (undiagnosed)
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That massage story was HILARIOUS omfg and reminded me of something.
I was in public school choir and one of the "team building" exercises we did while warming up was massage each other's backs and shoulders. It was voluntary and tomfoolery was not allowed.
Well, I got to be pretty okay at it, as people would request things of me and I, being undiagnosed autism at the time, just went "okie dokie" and went to town.
Fast forward to college and at a college party and someone (drunkenly) asks me to massage their back. And I, remembering that people tend to like it hard, went to town. Partway through the individual stopped me as asked if I wanted to switch majors to massage therapist. I had a small line of people and my arms definitely ached the next day.
Anyway, congrats to Chris and I hope you send him Christmas cards mourning the loss of his massage talents and also wishing him well in architecture.
Are you available to work in a small establishment in Swansea because I think they need your skills
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Rewatching gravity falls and Mabel is the epitome of autistic 12 year old girl
#I know because I was once an (undiagnosed) autistic 12 year old “girl”#if Hulu let me screen record I’d make clips#but I think my dad has the episodes downloaded somehere#gravity falls#book of bill#mabel pines#autism
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I'd like to thank the Fenton family are master manipulators and Danny has learned from his family some know about their manipulative tendencies more than others in the family such as:
Jack Fenton:
He is blissfully unaware of his belated manipulation almost annoyingly so (scratch almost it's totally annoying) he uses his adorable naivety to play into people's hearts to get exactly what he wants which is partly why they're OSHA violation filled house still stands on city blocks
Danny blessed with his mother's youth and soft round facial features aid him in this respect Jack didn't outright teach him how to be manipulative in this tactic Danny just kind of picked it up by watching silently taking notes throughout his life
Madison Fenton:
Maddie is terrifying when it comes to her manipulation she has the smile of a goddess but the aura of an overprotective mother Bear. Not only is she a black belt in karate but she also knows how to use what's most closest to her and burn everything to the ground before your eyes in order to avenge her family's honor and or pride
Danny learns how to be just as overprotective if not more and maybe a bit overbearing over his found family after the accident. so scared that he might lose them with all the misfortune he attracts on a daily basis He's come close to pulling what his mother does when burning the things of Vlad loves most before his eyes but he can't bring himself to do it knowing that thing Vlad knows most is his own mother and he knows he wouldn't be able to hurt her hard enough to hurt Vlad without hurting himself in the process He's not willing to take that sacrifice
Jasmine Fenton
Jazz is much like her mother in the respect of being overprotective just not as much as Danny (post accident) or Maddie unlike her mother Jasmine prefers a more psychological root as her first action instead of a physical one at an early age Jasmine started to hyper fixate on The psychological aspect of manipulation thus she has thrown herself into studies and all the ways to tear a man apart from the mind alone she can be almost sadistic in this respect if it includes avenging a family member (mostly Danny or Danny's found family) she can be downright terrifying this becomes even more apparent when she becomes Justice of the Ghost Kings high council because her ghostly ability includes illusions and the mind and that can only lead to breaking a man beyond repair
Danny being raised by his older sister due to his parents accidental neglect knows far more about the human brain than anything else. He knows how to tear apart a man from the mind as well this only gets worse post accident because not only can he take apart your mind with psychological warfare but some of his threats won't be as baseless he could threaten to rip out your heart before the accident but he couldn't actually do that until post accident All intake is for him to go intangible place a hand on your beating heart and whisper the threat and you'd be psychologically scarred for years
(Jazz has watched him do this to people! She is incredibly proud!)
#fuck it we ball#i'll edit this later#you know#Do all my color coding with all the characters and shit#I honestly don't know why I do that#I think it's because of my autism (undiagnosed)#also it just makes sense reading it back things can get confusing with pronouns when I'm talking about two guys or two girls#color coding just helps#ANYWAY#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp#dp jazz#jazz fenton#maddie fenton#jack fenton#manipulative Fenton family#I just think it's a neat concept#Sue me#(please don't I'll cry)#IT'S BEEN LIKE MONTHS? BUT I'VE EDITED THIS#BE PROUD OF ME? I GUESS??
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help
#just found 2014 jetko fic I VIVIDLY remember reading as a child.#and the reason I VIVIDLY remember it is because it was the first time I#remember one of my behaviors being labeled as an autistic trait. a 'haha I do that!'#moment but from a fucking. autistic!zuko 2014 jetko fic. and it was apparently so formative#that I remembered specific lines in the fic 10 yrs later. HELP. ah... the intersection of#yaoi and the undiagnosed autism of a 10 yr old... I think we've come full circle..
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checking out theodore tugboat right now and all I can say is that foduck would really benefit from reading the dsm v
#zin.txt#my beautiful princess with various personality disorders. please talk to me.#I don't think I'm joking like atp he's DEFINITELY an undiagnosed autism and ocd haver. maybe bpd too.... many such cases#which is why he's always like ''I don't know why I feel like this''or ''I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that''#him get upset over his coworkers stopping in the middle of work#going back and forth between valuing himself and feeling incredibly lesser than his peers because he is told to guard the docks#and cannot go out to the ocean#thus making his V title ''not worth anything'' according to him#''Im so important and nobody will get their job done without me''#[5 minutes later]#''I am not a part of the team because I cannot go out to the ocean and my Vigilant title has no meaning''#also the way he views his friends always changes like#one minute he's doting on them and cheering them on#next minute he's angry and agitated and dislikes them#next minute he's alll sorry and worried and anxious. curious indeed#living rent free inside my head and his neighbors are gordon and boomer
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Chuck McGill neurodivergent real?!!
#chuck mcgill#obviously a silly post because this is from a stupid tiktok (i think)#but also no because he's so obviously autistic coded#so true. factual#what undiagnosed autism does to a man (might be projecting)#also look at him#eepy....#screaming. kicking my feet.#i have a billion screenshots of him. help me
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ignore this I just need to vent somewhere so I don’t go insane ^_^”*
#flask rambles#Ever since quarantine I’ve just been getting worse and worse over the years. I genuinely miss being able to talk to people-#And making connections that felt real. Or at least I think they were real. I dunno I’d just love to be able to spend time with someone-#In person and do random shit like building a pillow fort or making tier lists. I miss playing video games will my college friends.#Also I used to have a close friend say “Just go out more” BITCH where!? There is literally nowhere to go in the middle of fucking nowhere.#Im hoping the convention goes well because I want to make friends I really do#low self esteem and other undiagnosed issues that are kicking my ass. holy shit I just want someone to be unapologetically black and nerdy-#With#Anyways I’m not beating any autism allegations anytime soon especially when I take all those tests and score high at all still 😭#If you read this I’m sorry
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i dont know much about trigun but i think it would be silly if vash and knives (they are brothers?) or vash and wolfwood (lovers? enemies? idk) were drawn like that barbie and ken mugshot meme. From what you post Mr Vash Stampede just seems like ken. little silly guy
YOU HAVE THE MOST PERFECT TIMING WITH THIS EVER I'm literally in the middle of drawing a picture of knives and vash that looks like this.
theyre brothers your honor
#i would draw the whole meme but i simply do not have the energy for it tonight#the phrase mr the stampede has been stuck in my head all night hehe u just reminded me of it#drawing vashs tristamp hair is soooo painful to me. i miss the spikey. unfortunately i am doing a style swap thing with this so i have to#sigh </3#hiiii louis this made me smile hehe thank u#also ive seen like 3 ppl do that meme with vashwood already so the fact that u included knives makes me happy :]#(<< guy who is having a category 12 emotional about millions knives moment tonight)#theyre BROTHERS. theyre brothers.....#i love the idea that after canon knives calms down and stops trying 2 kill everybody bc he realizes#oh i dont want to commit genocide actually. i just need therapy.#but like. he and vash are still both wanted criminals because. gestures at the events of trigun. all that#so its just. silly antagonistic brother adventures. i keep thinking abt that one drawing someone did of them comparing wanted posters#its so silly and its so important to meeeeeee.#knives just needs to smoke some weed and play Minecraft for a few hours and he'll calm down.#hes just got undiagnosed autism and a metric ton of childhood trauma. its fine#sorry i kind of went off on u there. I'm having trigun emotions tonight. if u couldn't tell#making this unrebloggable because its a wip <3 sorry kings#my sketches are sooooo ugly . u get the idea tho#asks#friends!!!#din0draws#shrimp fried rice#also. other file names blurred bc its a spoiler for another ask I'm answering soon. lmao
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After too many years here I've final what hornets' nests I am not brave enough to kick
#m/cc#thought about making a certain post and decided... no... I would rather not#I am not prepared for responses to that. it might actually kill me#specifically it was:#'going gluten/dairy/food dye-free CAN improve certain neurodevelopmental things but it cannot 'cure' autism/ADHD/Tourette's'#I already know I'd get vitriol both from people claiming I think autism comes from gluten or 'needs cured' because they can't read the post#and that I'm trying to trick everyone into going gluten-free because Toxins or something and lying about a connection#(even though (neuro)dev disorders can be made worse by flaring immune issues like - oh I don't know - undiagnosed gluten intolerance?#hypersensitivity to certain food dyes?#we already know autism and ADHD in particular have HUGE correlations with gastro and immune issues#which is why some mommy bloggers genuinely do see symptom improvement from diet changes)#and from people saying 'um actually no-gluten DID cure my nephew's ADHD?? the science is on our side/big gluten is covering up the research#and I don't know if I could handle dozens of people per day telling me I'm a science denier AND a eugenist from both sides#I am simply. ADHD. and autistic. and incredibly interested in the wild amount of comorbid physical disorders that correlate with these#autoimmune and gastro issues but also loose/hypermobile joints; epilepsy; delayed sleep phase disorder; COPD; skin conditions#it's so fascinating to me and provides a huge chunk of data to run with re: the gut-brain axis#whether [neurodev] causes [other]/[other] causes [neurodev] or an underlying thing causes both is unknown#but honestly with the huge interest in the gut-brain axis and microbiome in the past decade or so#I think we're going to see a lot more research in the next thirty or forty years examining physical comorbidities with neurodev stuff#I'm probably not gonna link to research because I don't wanna just start the war anyway and I'm too tired to go back and find the articles#but the TL;DR of the tags is neurodev stuff isn't caused by gluten intolerance but if you're unknowingly aggravating a gluten intolerance#you're probably not gonna feel great and it's gonna make your symptoms worse because of the effect it has on your body#it's like a very mild long-term allergic reaction and yeah if you get rid of that it'll improve other areas (e.g. sleep cycle; irritability#so of Course it's gonna improve a bunch of things-that-get-worse-with-poor-sleep/decreased-stress-tolerance#if you were always sitting on a slightly uncomfortable chair you'd probably do a lot better if I switched the chair#just because you can focus better or you didn't know the chair was uncomfortable doesn't mean it caused your ADHD#also in this case the chair affects your hormone levels and immune response and what chemicals accidentally leak into your bloodstream#if you're interested look it up there's been a Ton of research on correlations of specific physical issues with neurodev in recent years
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So cracking open the crate of 'actually I had childhood trauma all along!' was unexpected. But now a lot of shit makes a bunch of sense.
#kerytalk#think I always knew it deep down but couldn't see it because I was dating a guy who REALLY had a bad childhood#also my undiagnosed autism default is basically: everyone is like this it's a you problem#it ... was not a me problem :/#brain kept this in a box until it was the last difficult thing for me to reconcile#but I think this is is now#I can heal now#but yeah expect my brain to be BRRRRRR for a hot minute I've got stages of grief to go through now aough
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I am starting to become real annoyed with my sister because ever since she found out I was diagnosed with autism nearly every single conversation we have she’ll mention something about her childhood and how it’s autism symptoms for her.
#idk if she’s just like. trying to be comforting or help me feel like I’m not alone ??#or if it’s just ??? idk ??#her trying to copy me???#I get that you can 100% be undiagnosed but it’s just so weird to me#like as SOON as it got out to the overall family#she’s been doing this and not just with me#she’ll talk about autism with my mom and idk I just think it’s so strange#and she’ll tell my mom bs things about autism too#and it genuinely annoys me#I don’t even remember but it was something to do with ptsd can make you autistic#I was like no..#you don’t not have autism.. have a traumatic event.. then get autism#that’s not how that works#again it’s just very strange and maybe I’m just sensitive because idk. I feel like my diagnosis helps me understand myself.#and maybe it does her too#but I’m the actual diagnosed one here#and just find it so strange how she’s suddenly jumped on this we all have autism in our family train#:/#leah rambles#autism tag
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Can't really relate to a lot of those "WHICH OF THESE COOL TOYS DID YOU HAVE" because 1. poor 2. we weren't allowed to have fun, apparently
#that awkward moment when you cant relate to a lpt of people because you were poor and also your parents like#hated you or something lmao#i will never forget when my mum threw out my hannah montana doll and her stuff to punish me :(#i loved that doll#also im personally victimised by the 'your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos' vine djdjdjfvrhdi#we had. megablocks. not legos.#i dont think i got my first lego set until 2018. when i was 20/almost 20.#we did have video games but#i got grounded from them all the time#because of stupid stuff like forgetting to wash the dishes after dinner#sorry i was eight and had undiagnosed adhd and autism lmao
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i feel like the meaning of irony is more lost between different generations than between autistics and allistics. like i sometimes will not get a general ironic comment someone made which i should understand, but it’s so far and between (not that i interact much) that i can count it on my fingers every month (and it’s rare enough to make me notice, but i know it’s because i’m autistic and my head is somewhere else at the moment someone makes an ironic remark).
but it’s more common for baby boomers to not catch gen z irony than for us autistic zoomers to not catch irony inside our own generational culture (whatever it is). i think it’s a bit like masking or learning allistic communication, it’s something we know how to do because we spend a lot of time perfecting it, and sometimes it just starts occurring naturally to us, like learning a new language (though we “speak” it in a different way, which is why the result of learning to mask might be catching on even more social cues than allistics normally do).
i don’t know. just something i realized. gen z is naturally more ironic so does not understanding irony even apply to autistic diagnosis anymore? being a different neurotype, i think autism and its traits manifest in different ways across cultures and times, and it’s just that white male boomer/gen x autism was observed first, so it’s what we thought it was at first.
(examples of what i struggle with include “scripted” communication and what it means, but i wouldn’t list irony among the things i specifically struggle with because i am autistic. i know i might occasionally not get irony because i’m autistic, but it’s just not a trait, it’s due to something else. though you know maybe and just maybe gen z doesn’t use irony as part of scripted communication but rather in its true, sincere form, to actually express ourselves, and it’s just that autistic boomers/gen x/gen y? can’t understand communication to convey something else, as it’s a trait of autism, not intrinsically irony, and irony is one of the tools boomers and older generations use for social cues and nothing else, so they don’t actually get irony outside of social cues. worth to note that gen z is post-ironic so yeah i don’t know how any of this is relevant to my main point follow for more ritalin takes)
#autism#i legit struggle to communicate with non gen zers#it's just that i can't use irony with them#and it's excruciating#so you know#it makes me#wonder#because i am diagnosed#and i am the definition of textbook autism (white/nerdy/male)#and i was diagnosed late#so i just think it's natural to me to try to redefine autism#based on my own experience#MAYBE i mostly talk to undiagnosed autistic people#but who am i to say for certain
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-- headcanon: dante's memory is very bad even on good days where they can actually remember bits and pieces of what the other sinners are like.
it's more or less a side effect of losing their memory (plus getting clocked round the head once or twice by ishmael in the april fool's day event [midspring night's dream] ), although there may be debate on whether or not their memory was naturally always this bad, even without the head replacement, and they figured out ways to keep track of things despite it.
sometimes they forget their own name, and it scares the hell out of them. if they can't remember who they are, currently, then how the hell do they expect to remember who they were?
#headcanon.#ooc.#welcome to percy projecting his undiagnosed adhd that he's on a waiting list to see a specialist for to tell if it's autism or adhd#although personally i think my memory's bad because depression can fuck with that.
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And right now I'm trying to figure out if it was a intended character feature or accidental. Also waiting for the writers to confirm to but too anxious to ask them.
I’m not canonically autistic but it’s strongly implied
#also going to a psychiatrist is very scary#both emotionally and financially#I do not want somebody to look inside my brain meat and see the horrors#I haven't even told my bestfriend what makes you think I'd let a professional stranger take a look?#So lets just keep trying to live with whatever undiagnosed bullshit i am living with#because there's something#it might not be autism but its something#like its probably the anxiety disorder (also undiagnosed but one look at me confirms it) but who knows what else#and the depression too#also the suicidal tendencies#this got heavy#I really hope nobody takes a look at the tags and judges me#i just need to write this down#hide it in the tags#if you see this no you dont
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I wonder how many of the "blonde (derogatory)" girls are actually just autistic
#My only evidence of this being common is one girl I knew in highschool#Who I'm pretty sure had undiagnosed autism (or maybe it was diagnosed and she just hadn't told me)#Because like a lot of the traits that others found annoying and shallow; I (a user of the autism website) recognised as autism symptoms#Like 'stupid' aka 'missing social cues or taking things too literally'#Like either just not picking up on sarcasm; or that one time they had a small hangout with some alcohol and she got black out drunk#I think the whole 'poor alcohol regulation' in general was a misunderstanding of the social contract in alcohol-heavy settings#Struggling to follow the reasoning of lectures in class I think was in general a common thing for her. Which I think is common in autism?#(Why else would autism often require special ed in countries that have that???)#I think in many ways she just happened to be attractive and put a lot of effort into her looks#Which in many ways is more important than your personality if you want to fit in as a woman#So I think that led to her being seen as shallow; annoying and stupid (aka blonde); rather than being a complete social outcast#She still wasn't well liked by many of my classmates. But she also wasn't usually left out. Which is better than how some had it
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