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dangerliesbeforeyou · 5 years ago

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dan made me do it

(lol jk, but like i have Feelings(tm) about my sexuality and everything & figure this is the best time and place to do it...)

So I figured out I was bisexual a little over 5 years ago, after discovering it was a legitimate thing I could call myself whilst being on tumblr (2014 was a big time for lgbt discourse, especially in terms of the various terms and labels, most of which I hadn’t been familiar with...)... but tbh, I’d been trying to come to terms with who I was in terms of my sexuality for a long time

I grew up in a religious house (my parents were jehovah’s witnesses), but I never really remember anything vaguely homophobic being thrown around? And even if it did exist, I wouldn’t have been aware of it since I never had any question or doubt in my mind about the fact I was attracted to boys (I’d had a rly intense crush on this one boy for about 5 years through primary and secondary school... I still sometimes see his pics on facebook & u know what? I still would lol anyway...) my early days in school were mostly taken up by trying to get friends not be a total recluse (I’ve always had trouble making friends and connecting to people it’s no biggie it’ ss fineee........ ok carry on>>)

So going into secondary school I never felt that I was anything other than straight? But one thing I vividly remember was the way people in my year treated girls that were suspected to be gay... in short? they were seen as ‘dirty’... it was something perverted, and highly sexualised... (as in: being a lesbian meant masturbating a lot... (i mean: this says something about wider misogyny & demonising of female pleasure but like.. another time, another time) & also making out loads with other girls)... like no one ever came up and said ‘being gay is wrong’, but whenever rumours spread about a girl being suspected as gay and they didn’t deny them, people would suddenly start whispering about them... & it’s super strange to me that this was the same culture that if two female friends were really close and got labelled as gay, but came out and were like ‘oh no we’re straight ha ha we just kiss at parties and touch each others boobs’ or whatever, people would be completely ok with it?

So I never really gave myself the opportunity to go into this... I was never comfortable enough to be super ‘close’ to any of my female friends (intimacy issues: we don’t have to to get into all THAT right now though lol ahahaha....ha...) & I knew I wasn’t so called ‘skanky’ like all the girls who were labelled as being actually gay...

& this was all happening as I found myself actually being interested in looking at girls... (like what can I say? boobs are friggin nice to look at lol...) But i always saw it as innocent intrigue, since I was only 11/12 at the time so hadn’t grown into my own at the time... and the fact I felt more comfortable being touched by or talking to or like literally doing anything with girls? it’s just cos boys are gross there’s no other reason behind it!!.... right?

I think a big thing is that a lot of girls are so open with each other... like they’ll compliment each other’s boobs or asses, or comment on how pretty they are or their makeup skills or whatever.. you’ll be hard pressed to find a girl that goes all ‘no homo’ on her friend except.... I feel like that was me lol? I remember getting compliments from other girls about my appearance (didn’t happen often though pffft) or anything really and feeling all mushy inside, and giving the compliments back felt like a big deal to me? idk I suppose all the warning signs were there that hidden under layers of introverted awkwardness was a lil bi demon just waiting to come out lol!

So yadyyada, 2014 happens and I finally realise I’m bi... I just remember reading something on here about bisexuality and being like ‘oh damn yeh... dat me??’... like it felt amazing to be able to finally accept that I actually like girls too?? & one of the first people I told was this guy I became friends with when I first went to college... & he told me he was also bi and I remember thinking ‘wow!!!!! so it’s actually real?! it’s not just something you see on tumblr from random strangers, it’s an actual thing people I know irl experience wowwowowow’... I also came out to another online friend who I was close to, and it felt really amazing... but I could never translate that into actually coming out in real life (not to mention life was kinda shit at this time and I had like 0 friends but hEY, that’s not for now kiddos lol)...

So yeh, I’ve never actually come out to anyone... not properly anyway... I’ve always been very open about my sexuality online, but in real life I’ve never really discussed it with ... anyone? & it’s not because I’m ashamed in anyway, and it’s not even as if I’m that scared I just... I’ve never felt the need to? But after seeing Dan’s video, plus it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, this is something I really wanna do... see; I was so ready to live life just being ‘straight until I maybe get a girlfriend one day’, so ready to only tell people if they ask me but I just realised... isn’t that partly living a lie? who I’m with doesn’t change my sexuality, so why is it something I’m seemingly so scared of declaring to the world??

I vividly have this memory, before I realised I was bi, and I have no idea of why or when or any of the details, but me and my mum were watching something, and bisexuality was mentioned, and either my mum agreed with, or she said something along the lines of ‘bisexuals are more likely to cheat’, and that’s really stuck with me.... it’s something that’s always nagging in the back of my mind, and it... really fucking hurts lol... I know for a fact my mum will love my regardless of who I end up sleeping with or whatever, she may be pretty conservative in her mindset of things but she’s always willing to be open minded which I really love about her... but knowing this inbuilt stereotype of bisexuality is something she both acknowledges and somewhat agrees with is really... sad...

I’m 21 years old, I’ve been in one relationship in my life which only last a few months and involved no kissing and only occasional hand holding because I was too terrified to do any more (again: subject for aNOTHER day lol), and I know for a goddamn FACT that my sexuality would never make me more likely to be unfaithful to someone I claim to love...I really hate that this is associated with the label, but it’s something I know that I am... why on earth would I change that or try to be something else when I know that /this/ is me!

I think one of the biggest things putting me off ‘coming out’ is having to explain yourself... like dan howell made a 45 minute long video discussing his own sexuality and experiences cos he knew people wouldn’t just accept it if he just tweeted ‘yo dawgs imma queer lol #swag’ one day, and it feels kinda annoying that queer people/lgbtq+ people feel like we can’t just...... be ourselves without having to justify or explain it?! (even me making this post is solidifying that factor lol... it’s a mess lol)... like I just wanna live my life being bi, is that so much to ask for lol?

I am so so SO grateful we have so much more bi, and lgbtq+ in general, representation in media these days.... it’s goddamn beautiful to see our stories, and the stories of our community being told and cherished by millions, and that’s really gotta be something to rejoice in this pride month!!!

(side note: dan also talks about gender identity & I have literally never related to anything more lol... like 90% of the time I don’t feel like what people classify as ‘womanly’ things... but also I am a woman? idk man lol just call me a formless blob or whatever it was he said lol as a baby no one really knew if I was a girl or boy since my mum mainly dressed me in yellow & I had like 2 strands of hairs on my head lol... damn I miss those days lol)

In conclusion (or tl;dr as I’ve seen the Cool people write on their long posts (yes I had to google what it meant shhhh)):

Hi, my name is Xanthe, my username is ‘dangerliesbeforeyou’ here on tumblr because I made it 7 years ago and I wanted to use a cool sounding harry potter quote so I could come across as sophisticated but also nerdy, I’m a 21 year old female (mostly?) and I am a proud Bisexual...

I’m also single and very ready to mingle if anyone is interested ;;;;;;;;;)

(that’s only half a joke lol... plz romance me I’m v lonely)

#personal #lgbtq #pride month #idk what to tag lol #thank u for giving me the confidence to do this daniel lol...#maybe i'll b able to come out to my family who knowsss

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reirafnadis1981-blog · 6 years ago

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15 large centerpieces, 5 bridesmaids bouquets, one bridal bouquet, swags fie the headtable and infinity arch: $300. All florals were purchased from Hobby Lobby for 50% off. The flowers there go on sale every other week! When we went to meet with florists the arrangements we wanted were quoted at $350 per table! There is also a site that sends you the flowers for a very good price and it also sends step by step instructions on how to make bouquets, centerpieces and so on! I am happy to share that with you!. But in general, I think has a higher standard and is better trained and better equipped to deal with it. After all, the more centralized system allows them greater resources and more oversight, while in the US it some company job to take care of this stretch of rails, but another company job to handle the one next to it. It a more fractured system so the response time is lower, and resources are more scant.. I love the case size, it big but not overwhelming. Here a real life pic. The black/gold color is sold out, but other colors and styles are still on sale and you get an additional 20% off if you sign up for Skagen emails.. Alan was born into a footballing family his dad, Graham, was a 계룡출장샵 professional player and then a manager. Alan first tried his hand at comedy while reading Theatre Studies at Middlesex University. After he graduated, he took on a range of jobs before his ability to make friends laugh with his stories of working in a call centre in Manchester led him to try stand up at a local venue. "GO!" A teary farewell, and footsteps pattered in the rain into a dark side alley into a new future. He now lay alone, and yet he smiled peacefully, his eyes closed. You be okay.. By the 1870s, there was a steady flow of Japanese art and artifacts to Europe, particularly France. The Japanese woodblock prints, or the "uki yo e" (meaning "pictures of the floating world") especially inspired the leading artists of the time, such as Manet, Degas, Gauguin, and Van Gogh. What was happening in Europe, particularly France, eventually made its way to America. It was so odd and I noped right out of that whole thing. He went to my gym at the time and I even starting going at off times so I wouldn have to run into him.Artteachernc 1 point submitted 1 month agoGood art teacher jobs are hard to find everywhere 계룡출장샵 I think. Lots of districts do what yours and mine last year do, and have teachers travel. Seriously thought it was just my skin so I stopped wearing makeup all together cause I couldn get a good foundation lay down with it. Then when I finally got the courage to try a new foundation again I went for Estee Lauder double wear foundation and mix it with Bare Minerals complexion rescue and so far so good. So glad to know this wasn just me.. It humans that are obsessed with violence.Every close primate relative of ours is violent. Deers are violent. Yeast competes with other microorganisms which is why we get beer instead of a pint of bacteria filled water.. I don know how many times I need to keep saying it. I not going to isolate myself from society because not everyone is vegan. I only brought up veganism/animal cruelty because some people on BGC act morally superior because they don support him and I saying no, you pretty much baseline morality because bare minimum anyone can do in today society is be vegan, and not buy cosmetics that are tested on animals.

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kanon-mendi · 6 years ago

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Anime Expo 2018 Story

GOOD DAY EVERYONE!!!

I am finally back from Los Angeles and HOHOHO DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU!!!!! This year was the absolute BEST year from the last 3 that I’ve gone and I literally could not top any other year from now on. (7/11/18: it is 11:47 PM and i JUST finished this... :’D)

LETS START SHALL WE!!! OKAY!!!!! :D

Day 0: Arrival and Pre-Show Night

This day was pretty long. The night before, I was confirming orders and receiving payments that pretty much kept me up for a while. Also, my mom’s friend who’s a priest was in town for the week to relax a little. I needed to stay up-to-date with everything. ANYWAYS, so that morning I woke up around 8 to finish packing. Now, sadly my Tokiya LS cosplay never arrived so I had to abandon my wig that I worked tirelessly for. I just brought with me the Camus cosplay that I had. My best friend had my contacts and I asked someone to make me the wig since I didn’t know if that was also gonna arrive on-time. I finished packing, and my mom took me to the airport. I realized that my flight was later than what I predicted so we waited there for maybe 20 minutes before I had to leave. Now, because of my Cafe experience last year, I was scared and told her to please pray for me since I didn’t want that experience to ruin my year. I boarded my flight and arrived to LA. Best part about it was that I got to sit in the near front (flying with Southwest) and got out of there super quick. Upon getting to LAX, I grabbed my bag and met with Aria and out friend Sally, who was a volunteer this week. Sally was going to take a shuttle to her hotel and we took a Lyft to our AirBnB. When we got to the place, it kinda didn’t look like the pics that we saw, but we sucked it up since it was close to the convention center. Now, I was VERY hungry since I didn’t have breakfast. Aria and I arranged so we could go to Curry House for our lunch. We had plenty of food before heading to our destination, the Los Angeles Convention Center. When we got there, we went to the premier lounge to pick up our swag and then to charge my phone because I forgot my portable charger at the AirBnB. I forget how long we stayed there, but after wards we went to the Entertainment Hall to look at what they had to show. Well.... it was only me that went first because Aria was somewhere else, I forget. Anyways, while I was down there, I saw the World Cosplay Summit costumes from 2003 and after and they look so. Damn. Cool. Like, if I had the right amount of patience for cosplaying, I would definitely do it, but I got frustrated just making a badge. Can’t imagine myself doing more. Then I went to the Wacom booth because I wanted to see their amazing tablets. I also wanted to know prices because I want a new tablet since I broke the stylus and charger out of yet another frustrated episode. Tbh, I’ve been wanting a Wacom tablet for years. However, I only tried them that night because of what you’re about to read later. So, because of that problem last year at the Cafe, Aria decided that it was best for her to go alone (please remember this for later in my story) to make sure that those involved weren’t there. While she was at the Cafe, I chilled out somewhere for about an hour and for the next hour or so, I waited for her to get out. While I was out there, I kept hearing things that really made me uneasy and I was starting to freak out like ‘should I really go there tomorrow’ but I kept myself distracted with Reiji’s current event so I won’t think about the anxiety I had. So when Ari was to get her picture taken, the doors had opened so anyone on the outside could see in because the show had ended. I saw Aria and told her to please hurry because it was almost midnight and I needed to sleep. I didn’t look inside very well, which was good for me in a way because I didn’t want to see what else was in there. As me and Aria were going back and forth, lo and behold the MC, who remembered who I was and was standing AT THE DAMN DOORWAY was all like “Come inside” and I said “No!!” and he was like “Why not?” and I said “Because no!!” and that’s where that little thing ended. When Aria came out of the Cafe, she told me that the people involved in my incident from last year aren’t there this year. Meaning that my celebratory dance from the week before kept going and when we went outside, I literally yelled “FREEDOM!!!!!!!” because I was so relieved that I was going to be fine this year. I was going to enjoy this con SO MUCH because of that news that I won’t have to hide my emotions. I am free of the curse I was going through for a year. I am safe.

Day 1: 20 Hours Awake

This was the day of the Boku no Hero Academia panel with Daiki Yamashita and others (Melissa and Dave Ifgorgettheirlastname VA’s were there). As a Premier Fan badge user, I could reserve my wristband for the panel days before online to just pick it up the day of the panel. However, because Aria didn’t reserve hers on-time, we had to literally arrive at the convention center around 4-5 am. At that time, there were already about 200 people lined up for the panel wristbands. I made line for priority entrance since I had nothing better to do. Anime Jungle didn’t bring anyone cool this year, so I just had more time to look around the place before going to the premier lounge and picking up my wristband. Aria was lucky enough to get hers so that way we could go together. As I was waiting at the priority entrance, staff took us all around the place WHERE because they didn’t know where exactly the first entrance was. Maybe 3 turns around the convention center to just get us back to our original line up place WHERE WE STARTED. I was borderline tired since I’ve been up since 4 and to be taken in circles was really hitting me in my ticked of spot. So, after we were in, I was talking to a few people in line and, let’s just say I made new friends. Aria met up with me later after she had gotten her wristband. So at first, we spent some time in the exhibition hall. I went to the KLab booth to play some Shining Live. It is actually kind of hard to play on a large screen, but I had fun trying all songs (except Mirai Chizu) and it was also very hard to get the S score with the cards they had, expecially with QN songs since there’s only 4 UR instead of 7 like Starish. I tried Poison Kiss and Force Live. Still couldn’t get the S score. At around 10 I headed to the premier lounge to get my wrist band. Now, one cool thing I found that was a great addition to the Expo, it was that badge scanner feature. Meaning, if you don’t have a badge, there’s almost no way for you to be let in. It was great. That also included the Premier badge entrance. After getting the wristbands, we headed down to the west hall cafeteria tp grab something to eat before lining up for the BnHA panel. After eating, we went to line up and curse me for waiting.

ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE JUST FOR PREMIER ENTRANCE!!!!! It was absolutely crazy. Staff was great for getting us lined up and getting us in. Once we got inside, we were lucky to get seats near the front. I think we were on the 4th row. Anyways, when the panel started, they reminded us of no photo or video, which makes sense since there’s a lot of spoilers. The movie itself was AMAZING and the cast was so nice. I felt so cool amongst the thousands of fans. There were approximately 3000 fans IN THAT ROOM so y’all have an idea of how packed it was. Though what was weird is that there was an extra seat right next to me. so there could’ve been more that could go in. Anyways, getting out was much tougher because of the many people that packed up the place. We went back to the exhibition hall because we needed to pick up colored contacts for our cosplays. I have some blue ones that could work for both Camus and Tokiya. But here’s a big downer. I ordered my Tokiya SL costume June 5th. I put on the website that I needed it by July 2nd, July 3rd at the most. On their website it said 7-12 days to make and 4-7 days for shipping. In total, it shouldve taken no more than 25 days to make and ship. BOI WAS I WRONG!!! June 25th is when I sent my first email to them saying if my costume was ready. They tell me not.

Then by June 28th, I tell them again if my costume is ready to be shipped because typically when a customer says they need it at a certain day, that should put a little pressure. Ho no. They tell me that the costume is not yet ready and they will tell me when it’s shipped out. JULY 2ND I TELL THEM I NEED TO CHANGE THE ADDRESS BECAUSE IT NEVER ARRIVED IN MY HOMETOWN IN NEVADA and they tell me it’s possible to change and I did. JULY 4TH!!! THE DAMN DAY OF MY FUCKING TRIP IS WHEN THEY TELL ME THAT MY COSTUME IS ON THE WAY!!!!! HOE, I AINT WAITING THAT LONG!!!

When I recieved that DHL email, I IMMEDIATELY changed the shipping so it arrives at the Reno office so I could pick it up because I was that done with the fucking company. BACK TO ANIME EXPO!!!!! After the Exhibition hall, we went to the Premier lounge just to relax and Aria wanted to go to Cybird’s panel. While she was there, I relaxed and went down to the Entertainment hall once more. After that, I forget what else we did and then we lined up to go to the Butler Cafe at 9:30. That was our original plan to go because I remember from previous years that they like inviting fans onstage for their birthday and I was to yell out that Aria’s birthday was in 6 months and if that counted. So we get there, and while we’re in line, Aria tells me “Hey, get a picture with Akashi. He was the host at my table and is a ton of fun.” I was like alright, a replacement!! We get inside and the guys at our table were Jiro and Takkan (?). They were the definition of fun. They literally gave us a fun time and I really wanted them at least to host my table one more time. Yes, it was that fun. Highlight of the night was when the butler dancers danced “DNA” by BTS with the original choreography and “Talk Dirty” by Jason Derulo. Now, please take in mind that “Talk Dirty” was used in the first AMV I saw of Voltage CGs. I literally died inside because I didn’t expect them to take it that far. It was fun tho!! I got the FB batch of orders, took my picture with Akashi, who was super cool cuz we talked about BnHA and was really kind. Good person.

Then I went to take my picture with the cosplayer Voltage used (insta: https://www.instagram.com/th3lazyn1nja/)

Weird part of that Voltage experience was that there were these girls WHO WERE LITERALLY FLIRTING WITH HIM AND I WAS SHOOK LIKE never in my years in life would I go that far with a stranger, HAHA NOPE. Aria tried to do a reverse kabe-don on him but failed miserably. Also remember this for later in the story. We left the Cafe and once outside, I again screamed FREEDOM because that experience was better than the last 2 years.

Day 2: Meeting Maeno

This was a blessed day for me. Tomoaki Maeno is probably the longest-running celebrity crush I’ve had. Now, I usually am not 100% open with these things because I respect their work and I respect their space, which is why I buy their stuff and watch their works to express my love for them. The day I heard that he was coming to Anime Expo, I flipped out and actually cried. Luckily I had no make-up on yet (it was my bro’s graduation) so I BLASTED Aurora and other Maeno songs I have on my computer. I called Aria so we could cry together. BACK TO AX We got up around 4 again to prepare for Maeno’s appearance that day. I did my efforts to look like Camus but I was so scared to put on the contacts. I would do it eventually, but at the moment, I just couldn’t because I hate things in my eyes and I’m super sensible to that stuff. I woke up a little earlier than Aria so I could shower, put my corset on, do my make-up and help Aria style her wig to make her look like a female version of Lupin from Code: Realize. I told her to keep her hair up since she planned on going original for the other half of the day. Before I forget, as I was getting ready and Aria was in the shower, I was watching Shunsuke Takeuchi go live on Instagram. He was promoting his new song with the unit AMADEUS. I left one comment that said, “Hello from America!!” and he replied with “Hello!! (waves) From Japan!!” which honestly made my morning and told me that I was gonna have a good day. Anyways, after we were both ready, I headed down to the convention center to start making the premier line for the Cells at Work panel, which is where Maeno was to appear. I also had to meet up with a lovely person that I asked if they could custom make my wig. I paid them for the wig order and for the design so all I had to do was pick it up and put it on. I waited inside the whole time because that day it reached around 104* outside. No way in hell would I stand outside in that weather. So anyways, it was about an hour waiting inside for the wig to come. I didn’t mind because that whole time, I was writing Maeno’s letter. I literally spilled everything I had to tell him because I really felt it was finally my time to confess to someone. I literally didn’t tell him I loved him and wish to be with him. Again, I respect an artists’ space and wouldn’t want them to know that since they’re told that same thing by many other obsessed fans. To shorten it up, I told him that I’ve been a fan for years and will always support him in his work. After getting my wig, I just played a couple rounds of Reiji’s event in Shining Live. I was top 100 this whole time and really wanted to keep my ranking. Here’s where things get a little meh. The panel was supposed to start at 11, meaning they needed to let us in around 10:30-10:45. I was getting worried because Aria was taking forever at the post office since she needed to pick up some CDs she ordered in case Maeno signed our own items. I kept telling her that it would be a little late for the panel since the staff kept saying it was capped and that no one else was allowed to get in line. The premier line kept getting bigger and general entrance was shortening. Men and women alike were filling the LP4 line area. It wasn’t until 11:45 when Aria FINALLY arrived and I said “We’re gonna be in there when it’s supposed to end.”

It was about 12:15 when we could FINALLY go inside the panel and they were STILL having technical difficulties. I was VERY patient because I REALLY needed to see Maeno. Panel didn’t start till about 12:30 ish. So the MC was really cool and made us feel like we weren’t abandoned. After she got us all warmed up, the moment of truth came. I really didn’t expect it to go so fast and, pretty much at an instant is when Maeno was invited onto the floor. When she said to give the warmest welcome to Tomoaki Maeno, I. Lost it. I had tears in my eyes, they just didn’t drip down because my body was conscious that I had make-up on and didn’t want to ruin it for that perfect person. He was literally so relaxed and so sweet to us. I honestly couldn’t find a better day to be alive. After his little intro, he got us hype for the “Cells at Work” episode. It was so funny and every time White Cell came on the screen, the audience would lose it. That included myself, which I think was the loudest of all. After the episode ended, Maeno was invited back and 3 different producers were also invited on the stage. They talked about the show and how much effort they put on it and wanted to bring as much authenticity to the series. I’m so glad I understood a lot of it or else I would’ve cheered at the wrong time. Now, most of the time I was super distracted cuz I was staring at Maeno the whole time. I just didn’t want to take my eyes of him for a single second. He’s just so beautiful in person.

Towards the end of the panel, 3 lucky people would receive a huge posted SIGNED AND DELIVERED BY MAENO HIMSELF!!!! I was a little hopeful that they would call my number, but considering my super bad luck in any raffle of any kind, I didn’t win. I was happy though that Maeno came close every time. Which just seeing him made me happy. When the panel finished, I sped out of there to the signing because 1, my friend dropped her gloves to her Cardia cosplay (not Aria, she was Lupin) and 2, I needed a good spot for Maeno’s signing. We waited there less than 40 minutes. In that time, Aria tried again to go to the post office to get her things, though I kept telling her it was no use since Aniplex had given us posters to have signed. She left either way. While in line, I was talking to the people around me and made some really good friends and got to see some old friends. BEFORE I FORGET TO MENTION!!!!!! So, in order to get a ticket to Maeno’s signing, you would’ve had to attend the talk show at the Aniplex booth in the Exhibition Hall. When I attended, they briefly talked about what we were expecting and how to get the tickets. I was near the stage and I was lucky enough to be one of the first to get that ticket.

BACK TO DAY 2 So we’re waiting in line and we’re going on and on about Maeno and all of a sudden, the girls I was talking to say “Look!!” and I turn around and there he is. Majestic as Camus was Tomoaki Maeno himself on his way to the table. I let out a little scream and waved at him. No one else but us turned around to see him. I let Aria know that Maeno was now at the tables and that he would be signing soon. No more than 3 minutes later, Aria arrived to meet us in line and prepare herself for Maeno. There’s a friend I met back in 2016 that had her 5th Stage book with Suwabe’s signature from when he came. She was WAITING for the right moment to get another UtaPri seiyuu to get it signed. Sadly, they only let us have the Cells at Work posters signed. To me, it was okay because I didn’t care what he signed, as long as I had a memoir of meeting him. The line was moving fast as some didn’t have much to say to Maeno. As it was coming to my turn, I had girls tell me to calm down and breathe cuz I was almost in tears. Then it was my turn. I gathered all my courage from my fat little self and went up to Maeno. He gave me a little chuckle cuz I think he enjoyed my little Camus cos that I put together. I told him hello and he replied with the cutest voice ever. I REMEMBER IT SO WELL!!!! I gave him my poster and he went to sign it. He told me that the ink was still wet, to be careful if I touch it. I told him okay and thank you. He told me thank you and I gathered more courage to tell him that I loved him very much. BLESS ME MORE THAT DAY BECAUSE HE TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME TOO!!!!!! I know that’s something he would only tell a fan, but it made me so happy inside that when Aria came back, I cried on her shoulder, I wad that happy. I am feeling emotional now as I’m writing this. Aria stayed in line to talk to a few others that had awesome UtaPri merch, who I got to interact with as well. There was one girl who had the whole Prince Team itabag and parka. She literally traveled to Los Angeles that day just to meet Maeno. Kudos to her. I got to hug her Aqua (she let me) because before the signing, I could not calm down. We left the signing and stayed at the premier lounge the whole night. This is my autograph from Maeno.

Aria went to the Sword Art Online that night and I didn’t want to go because I was so exhausted. We made jokes that day that Maeno took all my positive energy to go about his day. Tbh, if that was true, I wouldn’t mind it at all because he needed that energy to feel all the love we fans have for him. So, according to Aria, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka was very nice and cute to. **This photo was apparently okay to take since they never specified the “No Photo/Video” rule according to Aria.

I don’t know the details on that panel so please ask her (@sweetaria98) for those details for that panel. After that panel, we went outside and bOI WAS IT A MISTAKE!!!!! It was 94 outside and I was DYING of the heat. Aria had a few things to do with a friend (which i never really understood why) but I was sweating from the heat and I personally thought it was the parking garage since I felt it cooler walking away from there BUT NO!! While waiting for the Lyft to come, I WAS DYING!!!! We got back to the AirBnB and Aria went for food a little after that and we ate dinner around midnight. I was sweaty.

Day 3: Loosen Up

So we weren’t really worried too much that day since all I had to do that day was shop for the remaining items from the orders. I did, however, also happen to buy an afternoon Butler Cafe with the $50 discount code that I never used since Anime Expo never sent me that information. Aria cosplayed Otoya from Legend Star that day.

I just love how she looked that day and I’m VERY proud on how the make up and wig turned out. I bought the wig 2 months ago while I was still living in LA and I styled it once I got here. Though I couldn’t do much to the wig since the power in our room didn’t work that night or day. ANYWAYS So after buying 3 orders from tumblr, it was time to head to the Cafe. The plan was for me and Aria to go since it was the only time we could since Day 4 we had the AoT panel with Yuki Kaji. Aria was sadly late to buy her ticket and blamed me for not telling her but I also blamed her for not getting it while she could ONLINE. So I went to that Cafe alone (remember this for later). I actually had a blast that day. I went in with a bunch of people who were young and old alike and it was their first time. For me, it was my second time going in the afternoon, but if y’all remember last year, it was a shit year the first time. So it was good that I went alone and in the afternoon. I was punished like 2 or 3 times because of I forget what game. The guys at my table REALLY made it enjoyable and I had fun with their company. My first punishment that I got was that I had to do a Dragonball scream to the crowd and the second punishment was that I had to give a candle to another butler and tell him “You are the light in my life.” and the actor in me tried to make it so believable that everyone could enjoy that little show. Best part of that afternoon was when the emcee was asking for those who would like to be taken onstage for a special performance. Now, I silently (but made sure some heard) said that it’s been 3 years since I’ve been to their show and was never invited onstage. THAT COMMENT ALONE BEAT OUT A BIRTHDAY GIRL AND I FELT TERRIBLE!!!!!! In fact, I still feel terrible. After their little performance I came off the stage and they finished their act with I forget which songs. At the end of the Cafe, I took pictures with the guys at my table which were Shinomiya and Ryoga. Now, Ryoga left me with a little bug since he kept saying he remembered me from somewhere. I said that it’s my 3rd year at the cafe and if that’s where he knew me. For some reason, I got the impression that we might’ve known each other from somewhere else. I let it slide since I didn’t want to ask more details. Here’s my picture.

Wee. MOVING ON!! So after the Cafe, we go shopping for a little more at the Exhibition Hall and I went to this booth by KLab that had ALL the UtaPri games for Vita and PSP. I only bought Amazing Aria/Sweet Serenade and Music 3 with a Camus towel and charm. That there was about $150 and I didn’t want to buy Repeat Love since I was running out of money and I needed to buy the last order. So, Exhibition Hall closes and we head to the premier lounge to literally rest because we’ve been walking almost everywhere. Before I forget, so before we headed to the premier lounge, Aria ALMOST lost her premier badge. It is a $125 replacement if she actually did lose it. She didn’t really go anywhere except for one booth with I7 stuff and the Cybird booth. She was lucky enough that someone had put it on the edge of the stage at the booth and it was confirmed that it was actually her badge. Back to the story. So Aria changed out of her cosplay into something a little more comfy for her while I put on a sweater since I was FREEZING in that lounge. We waited until 8:30 so she can accompany me to the 18+ one where I was going alone. Now, remember how I said to pay attention tho those “alone” in bold, here’s why. So our friend Sally is a volunteer at Anime Expo. She pretty much has access to ANY panel she wants as long as it fits her schedule. She had just finished that day and I asked if she could hold this HUGE bag of things from the orders I got. She said she would put it in HQ in West Hall, which was in front of the Premier Lounge. I thank her so much for that favor because it was a HUGE bag and I couldn’t bring it with me to the Cafe. Alright. As I’m in line for the cafe, I’m getting nervous because it was the last night of the cafe and I thought I was alone. BOI WAS I WRONG!!!! Now, I’m not gonna say what happened that night because of how crazy it got (ask me for details later) but right before the performances, I see Sally out of the corner of my eye. My thoughts went from “YAS BEST NIGHT EVER” to “WTF HOW DID SHE GET IN?!?!?!?!” in 3 seconds. I ignored that little bit because I thought “Alright, it’s just sally, how bad can it get.” HOHOHOHOHOHOHO WAS I WRONG!!!!! At the end of the Cafe when I’m going for my 2018 worthy Cafe picture, ARIANNA WAS AT THE DAMN TABLE TOO AND I LOST MY TEMPER!!!!! I WAS LIVID BECAUSE I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER THAT I NEEDED THAT NIGHT ALONE TO SEE IF I COULD FIND CLOSURE TO MY CURSE THAT’S BEEN AT ME FOR 368 DAYS AND IT WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE AND SHE DECIDED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SALLY’S PASS AND LET HER LITTLE ASS IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y’know, I’m still livid with it. I calmed myself down, took my picture, and left.

Yes, I was that shook at the moment of my picture. Not from Ari, but the performance in general. Anyways, as we’re getting out, I tell Sally to give me my stuff back please so we could leave. We left the convention center and I did not want to speak to Ari for not respecting my space when I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER to please leave me alone that night. We just said small talk and she got the Uber for us to go home that night. It was midnight.

Day 4: Last Day and Kaji

This day, I wanted to arrive at the hour that the Exhibition Hall opened because I needed to pick up my wristband for the AoT panel and also to buy that last order of merch that I needed to get. We headed straight to the premier lounge and then headed straight for the exhibition hall so I could buy that stuff. It was around 10 that we got there so I was in a hurry. This is when I realized something that worried me Voltage charged me almost 30% tax in every purchase. When I wanted to buy that last bit of things, I had less than $200 on my bank account. The total for something that was only supposed to be $150? They charged me $195. The person payed I think $160 (I don’t have my notebook at the moment to clarify) for the stuff and my service and HOHOHO BOI WAS I LIVID!!!! I realized that I didn’t have money now for my Lyft to the hotel for Aria and Sally and for my ride to the airport. What ended up happening is that I used what was my last $100 in cash to pay half of that payment and the rest on my card and didn’t buy anything else for the rest of the con. That also included food since it’s SUPER expensive at the convention center. I only bought some chips that morning with $2 in cash that I had from previous food purchases. Aria got them for me from a vending machine. So, we lined up for the AoT panel around 10. I was again playing Shining Live to catch up on the event to stay top 100. I hadn’t spent a single dime on the event during AX which was great. I only purchased $20 in prisms and that was at the beginning of the event. Aria went to this auction where they were selling things up to $2k probably. We don’t know cuz we didn’t stay there. We started going in around 11:30 I think since the panel started at 12. We go in and had a good seat at the front. As we were going in, they were giving out Levi and Eren pins to us. I got Levi, Aria got Eren. The panel was great, season 3 is gonna be quite a thriller for fans and I bet y’all that the OP is gonna be AMAZING if X-Japan is involved. Btw, the thing that’s pissing me off so much is that someone had the downright NERVE to take a picture of the panel when it was STRICTLY PROHIBITED AND THEY EVEN TOLD US THAT IT WAS TO BE THAT WAY!!!!!!!! Luckily they respected the BnHA but not with Yuki Kaji in that room. Anyways, Kaji was so cute and he seemed to really get along with Bryce and they both have a lot in common which is great. So after the panel, we realize that we have time to make it to the very last butler cafe show. Aria didn’t want to go since she thought it was too late and I also wanted to see if just in case that booth still had Repeat Love, which they didn’t. So at the Exhibition Hall, I wandered around a lot since I needed a new portable charger and saw that NO BODY had any to sell and the Cheero place wasn’t there this year. TTnTT So, I got bored and then decided to meet up with Aria at the Cybird booth to see what they were doing. At the booth, they were saying so many announcements and Hiroto was really nice to the fans, however time was running out. Most of you know the announcements so I’m not gonna say, but congrats to those girls who won the cut-outs of the boys from their Ikemen series. One more giveaway was done and that was to get a special picture of Hiroto as Isaac Newton (?) from Ikemen Vampire, which I’m VERY excited for because I have a thing for Vampire stories (thanks a lot DiaLovers). We played a huge group round of Rock Paper Scissors and a lot of us beat Hiroto. It was less than 50 which was great. Because time was running out, I didn’t get my photo with him this year. I mean, it’s okay since like, it was about 5 minutes from closing. After i got my prize signed by Hiroto, we left the exhibition hall and headed to the closing ceremony. We waited there for a little bit. I bought some chicken strips with my last little bit of cash and me and aria shared the tater tots. The closing ceremony was great, but I liked last years better. This one I felt too brief and just wasn’t enough. It was still fun though. After the closing ceremony, we left to the AriBnB and called it yet another year in the books.

SO THAT WAS MY ANIME EXPO 2018 STORY!!! I hope you all enjoyed it!! I tried to make it as interesting as possible with as much memory as I have from it because I felt it all go so fast. Honestly, this year was such a blessing that I don’t think any year will top this. VIDEOS BY ARIA WILL BE POSTED IN A FEW WEEKS/MONTHS!! :D I’ll be contacting the people who ordered from me soon... :’D

#anime expo 2018 #maeno tomoaki #kaji yuki #yamashita daiki #matsuoka yoshitsugu

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pixelatedflood · 5 years ago

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Building A Gaming PC For Absolute N00bs In 2019

Being a Software Engineer, I have always known all there is to know about software, UI, OS tweaks, and all that fun stuff. I only worried about hardware when it came to minimum requirements to run games or other tools.

Until recently, when I realized playing on my Xbox One is not good for FPS games, especially that I developed an affinity for Apex Legends and was almost not too bad at it.

I needed a gaming PC.

Gaming laptops are out of the question, too expensive, and the good ones are too heavy to even carry around, plus I won’t really need to carry mine around since I only play at home.

I needed to build a desktop gaming PC. Which I did!

Behold Saitama:

You can find the specs and pics here: https://de.pcpartpicker.com/b/XJ3bt6

The idea behind the name was that this would be a badass gaming PC despite its being not much of a looker, like Saitama is. I ended up adding LED strips and RAM heat sinks, as well as a custom backplate for the GPU so I guess I kind of defeated the purpose of the name there.

Where did I start? I didn’t even know the budget I would need to allocate or the pieces to buy or even how to match specs and check compatibility of hardware.

Start Here: The Parts, And How to Build A PC Once You Have Them?

A great resource to answer this question was to simply look at youtube videos of people doing an “end to end gaming pc build”. Inevitably, you end up with beginner guides that are pretty extensive about what each part is, and how to correctly install it. I would recommend this particular video for that purpose:

youtube

Next Step: Which Parts To Choose?

For this one I have a more original recipe.

First of all, decide on your budget: how much money are you willing to spend? It is common these days that anything around 500$ US / 500€ EU could be enough to have a decent gaming PC that can run all the new games, albeit with different framerates depending on the graphics card you choose.

In-game framerate is an important metric, because it is like your bottom line as a gamer: the higher it is, the smoother your gaming experience is. It is expressed in FPS (Frames Per Second), or how many images your PC can render in one second.

Next, start looking at builds recommended for that budget: again here, some key phrases I recommend for a quick youtube search would be “<your budget here><$ or €> gaming pc build”, example: “500$ gaming pc build”. Joey Delgado has a great channel that offers these kinds of videos in a very nice format, so I recommend you check it out. This is such a typical gaming pc build title that soon you will drown in these videos, kind of like I did. But that’s a good thing, because they each show different aspects: the target performance aspects (gaming vs video editing vs 3D design etc.), the different tradeoffs (noise, budget, good FPS, fast loading times, etc.). You will also notice, the budgets can go from 500$ to 3000$ and more!

At this point, you’re ready to create a parts list. The best website to do so is hands down PC Part Picker.

This is a website that allows you to create builds and checks hardware compatibility issues for you! which is a great plus for an absolute hardware n00b. While you’re building your part list, you also get suggestions on the cheapest place to buy them, build guides, builds of other users in the community, etc. To make informed decisions about the specs of the hardware you buy, I recommend taking a look at videos like the one below, which explain what to look for in the specs of a PC part you’re planning to buy:

youtube

Once you have a nice list, where:

Wattage provided by your power supply is safely above the total of your parts’ consumption number (also think about if you want to improve this build in the future, a scenario where you might require even more power)

Components are compatible (be careful about the fact that PC Part Picker does not provide that information for geometric clearances. I personally recommend buying a huge case for the first build, which is the most flexible and easiest way to do a build that you can extend later)

Order your components, and you can now get building!

(funny story, this build was for my birthday, I got all components on time except I forgot to order my 1TB SSD, which made me very mad that I won’t have my PC ready that night. I ordered it - just an ssd drive - on Amazon Prime Now)

Build Night

You will need:

A clean large enough surface

A 2 Philips screwdriver

Some zip ties to manage your cables cleanly, sometimes these are delivered with your case

A mental readiness to rtfm

Make sure you try to optimize your cable management. As a n00b myself I did an okay job, although less than three weeks later I am considering redoing the whole thing again.

Here’s a good guide with useful tips for good cable management:

youtube

Extras, Looks And Modding

If you are like me and would like your PC to look fly, you can do some extra work to make it look nice.

Install LED strips, heat sinks and fans: of course the best approach would be to buy components pre-equipped with this feature although it is not the best idea from a cost point of view

Color matching: if you play it right, your PC case will match nicely with your components from a color point of view. Of course you can always fix this later but it is better to choose components with color matching in mind where a choice is possible initially.

Figurines? Figurines! You can install these inside the case to give it extra swag, especially if it matches the LED colors/case colors. A good example of this is a video I really like from Joey Delgado here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98ujnl1_hW0

In case you have an ugly GPU (from the back side) you can get a custom GPU backplate for relatively good prices, other swag elements are available such as GPU support brackets which prevent gravity from making your GPU “saggy” (ew). It goes without saying I recommend ColdZero since I used their stuff and I found it excellent!

Done! Start Regretting Choices And Thinking About Upgrades

This is kind of inevitable, at least from my experience. Once you get a taste, you won’t be able to stop, and you’ll be thinking of improvements all the time. Congrats, you got a new hobby!

#pc gaming #pc build #n00b #guide #gaming hardware #gaming

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todokori-kun · 7 years ago

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TYSM <3

Oh, no, he’s not that bad. He just gets horny when fighting someone who’s actually strong enough to beat him up (even if said someone is a 12 year old boy) and makes such…interesting…sounds while doing so that you’d have a hard time explaining to your parents that no, you’re not watching anything explicit (at least not in that way), honestly doesn’t care whether you live or die if you aren’t entertaining, might murder you just for the lulz if he’s bored, is best friends with a cold blooded assassin with a lot of issues, would kill a child if the child was powerful enough to put up a fight, has a TYPE when it comes to his murderous creepy crushes (Machi: the cold, focused lady with incredible talent who hates him, Chrollo: the extremely powerful thief with unique abilities who doesn’t particularly care for him as far as I know, (possibly)Illumi: the talented assassin who tolerates him as long as he doesn’t lay a finger on Illumi’s beloved little brother Killua (and if Hisoka ever dares to joke about killing Killua then, well, too bad for him)…yeah, Hisoka really has a type)…

yep, he’s really not THAT bad, people are just too hard on him, don’t you think? Poor guy.

You’re welcome :) I still have the crying Saiko pic tho. I might send it to you someday (lol jk jk I messed up her lips on that pic and I am too ashamed to ever show it to anyone. I might still redraw it and send it though because what else could you expect from the Dwarf in the Flask?)

Ah, that’s true. No nose + No mouth + ‘Squad leader is disappointed' look = Urie’s default face…

Watercolors really are so pretty. I love how you can make them look delicate even when using super bold, bright colors. They’re also perfect for painting angsty stuff.

TYSM, Queen Luna is so nice *hugs*

I guess I’m careful on the internet partly because it really IS dangerous, and partly because I just feel uncomfortable doing anything I know my parents wouldn’t approve of without talking it through with them? Idk, see, I can lie to people I don’t like/don’t know very well and not feel guilty about it as long as I have a good reason to, but when I care about someone I’ll feel terrible about hiding something from them even if it’s honestly not a big deal ^^;;

Luckily though I asked my parents and they don’t have a problem with Steam as long as I’m sure the games I play on there are PG-13 :) so I’ll be trying CP when I have the time! Tysm for the help and the rec <3

OH really? Wow! And yeah, Ascension glitches sometimes for me too…but usually if I try again after a while it works again. The ending is pretty awesome, so I do recommend that you try again sometime ^^

(Ishida is trolling auto-correct as well)

I’m going to college soon and I hope Ishida’s tweet won’t be summing that up too LOL (jk, jk)

I WILL FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE. I WILL CREATE THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS AND DESTROY THIS WORLD AS REVENGE, JUST YOU WAIT

Oh sure, I don’t think I’d have trouble getting along with Riza! I meant Roy taking you to meet Riza and you taking Roy to meet me XD

Imagine Evans and Riza teaming up on the Roy/Luna couple though.

Riza: “Are you going out on a date? Colonel, please button up your shirt.”

Roy: Riza u trying to ruin my swag “but-”

Riza: “No buts, it looks much too sloppy.”

Evans: “Luna, I found your phone. Take it with you, ok? Call me if something happens and don’t stay out too late, you need your sleep-”

Luna: “You do realize I’m older than you?”

Evans: “…”

Luna: “…nothing, of course I’ll take my phone!”

Evans: ^^

Riza: *sigh* Kids these days.

Evans: Yeah…

Scar and Evans are both in denial so they’ll keep going round and round in circles until Queen Luna decides to be her awesome self and fix it all up.

(‘Great, because I’m not! Have fun’ seriously you are QUEEN)

I’m sure the queen is absolutely gorgeous <3

I’m sorta like that too- with most people physical contact is a huge NO I hate it, but with people I’m REALLY close with (my mom, my little sister) I love to cuddle. Idk, I’m weird lol

I ship it too. Ugh why do I ship everything except the canon ships

I’m gonna forget it later if I don’t write it now: I’ve watched Zankyou no Terror and I’m pretty sure you’d like it! It’s about terrorists and has plenty of suffering and ridiculous english. Right down your alley XD

…wow. Just. I have no idea what to say other than ‘this is why I always wear headphones when watching anime’. I mean. Nope, I’ll be quiet. The pic’s still really good, tho!

Yeah, poor guy, I wonder why people give him shit. It’s a mystery.

Aw, I wanted to see it… well, if you’re not comfortable sharing it, then it’s no problem ^^ If you ever do redraw it though…. I actually want to get my feels destroyed for once.

I literally clicked on a random chapter. He has his nose and lips tho. Speaking of Urie, oh god the new chapter. I cry.

One time in elementary school, we did this thing with watercolours that I really loved, even though my art turned out like shit: You draw a tree trunk with brown colours normally, then take pink colours (or whichever you want), dip in a toothbrush or normal brush and try to like… spray the paper? Splatter the paint? I honestly don’t know how to describe it in english XD But it looks pretty cool when done ^^

Well, as long as you don’t give out personal info and go to weird sites that could give viruses, it’s not that bad. You can never be carful enough, tho, so it’s nice that you’re cautious ^^ And it’s nice that you tell your parents. Mine don’t even know I have a tumblr XD I don’t think they care, though. Mostly because they trust me not to do stupid shit on the internet.

Oh, sweet! I’m pretty sure that CP is pg-13, There’s no cussing as far as I remember and no gore either ^^ Just a bucketful of angst. Tell me when you start playing! And which route you choose as your first one :D My recommendation is either Karma or Rod. Well, Fritz and Waltz are locked until you’ve done 2 routes, but Rumpel (the 3rd unlocked character) has quite a few spoilers in his route, so I’d recommend doing him 3rd.

It’s been at least a year since I’ve played Ascension. It still glitches RIP. It seems the game hates me XD

Ishida is the troll king. We need to make him a crown or something.

I’LL JUST FILL THE FLASK UP WITH EVEN MORE CONTENT YOU LIKE!!! I’LL BRIBE YOU WITH A NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF FANWORKS AND ANGSTY BOOKS!

I think I’d get along with Riza just fine XD We’d sigh over Roy and paperwork together :P What do you think you’d be like if you’d meet Mustang?

Riza always ruins his fun XD I think there was that theatre video in which she’s like ‘don’t forget to brush your teeth and floss, sleep at least 8 hours a day’ etc. She’s really his mom (and yet I ship them like titanic (minus the catastrophic sinking))

Yes mom, thanks for remembering my phone, I would’ve forgotten it myself XD I’ll call you if I need someone to pick me up :P

At first it’s cute how you two are shy about it, but then at one point I get fed up and just set you up so you can finally hold hands and be happy. I don’t even try to be subtle anymore. I’ve had enough of that XD

Nah, that’s not weird at all. It makes perfect sense ^^ A lot of people I know are like that! One of my friends doesn’t accept hugs/touching from anyone, including family and very close friends.

It’s a rule of the universe. If you ship it, it’s not gonna be canon.

THE NEW CHAP. DAMN THE NEW CHAP. I’m mostly (only) emotional over Urie, though. I’ve stopped caring about the others a long time ago ^^;;;

Whoah, that’s pretty interesting! I’ve never played the game or seen any playthroughs, but still. The Oggai are not to blame for what they’re doing. If I was abducted when I was that young, I’d probably be an obedient puppet as well..,

One thing I can say about the designs: they’re suffering. Other than that, the sketches are a tiny bit messy, but they do seem to fit their personalities well ^^

And thank you <3 I change my icon quite often, so don’t be surprised if you find a new one often :P

#evans #submission

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cannibalhouse · 8 years ago

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RDC3 Personal Highlights (spoilers: feels!)

So it’s been a few days since RDC3 and I still have not finished processing all the emotions. But I wanted to post my personal con highlights while they’re still fresh in my memory. Brace yourselves--it’s going to be a long one!

Firstly, let me get a few basics out of the way. It was beyond wonderful to see my wonderful fannibal family again. Truly, you guys make my life better every day in every imaginable way. In fact, my only real regret is that I was running around like a mad woman on a mission all weekend, and didn’t spend as much time with friends old and new as I wanted to. I didn’t even give out many of my posters! I hope you all forgive me <3

I got a chance to meet a couple of my favourite artists, @camilleflyingrotten and @theseavoices - I think I kept my cool and didn’t fangirl too hard. I also briefly ran into @bansheegrahamtao who sadly did not throw wine at me again, I was very disappointed :P

I would also like to thank everyone for all the amazing and thoughtful gifts and swag I came away with--including a beautiful handmade scarf from one of my dear friends. I will cherish it all, and plan to plaster the art all over the walls when @the-winnowing-wind and I officially move in together this month.

Onto the guests, who were all fantastic. Ellen seemed lovely, though I missed her solo q&a on Sat because I was stewarding. Demore was an absolute delight and so, so funny and sweet! Scott and Aaron were on their ‘best behaviour’ after their shenanigans at the first con... So naturally this translated into 50 Shades of Hannibal, featuring such scenes as Scott wearing Hannibal’s actual collar from ‘Digestivo’, Scott in high heels pretending to be Hannibal while Aaron as Will cried and smacked him with a riding crop, Aaron on his belly kissing Scott’s feet, and an actual adorable kiss. Love these guys so much. Myself and the co-writer of CopCop also had a chance to explain the upcoming comic to them, and they seemed excited at the prospect so watch this space!

(We’ll talk about Bryan in a little bit. I have a lot to say about Bryan.)

Hugh Dancy was just such a friendly, genuine person, and he seemed to have such a great time the whole weekend. He was so up for everything, dressing up with Bryan for the costume contest, doing all the crazy poses in photos... Speaking of which:

I said ‘I’m going to freak out’ because my mind went blank and I couldn’t think of a funny pose. Bryan said ‘should we freak out too?’ and then Hugh... Oh Hugh. There are no words for how much I love this picture.

I sadly missed the fannibal musical because I was taking part in the costume contest, but let me say that I’m so proud of everyone involved, and really grateful that I got to contribute in small small way with a few illustrations in the booklet. I’ve heard the performance was beyond amazing!

As for the costume contest, everyone looked amazing. In what is becoming a weird con tradition, the Chesapeake Stripper made a return, despite her utter terror at doing that in front of Hugh and Bryan. Luckily, she was joined by a friend--the fearless and fabulous @violetdebauched as the Stripper!Will to my Stripper!Hannibal. The pictures I’ve seen of the guests’ faces are amazing, and I’ve heard Hugh’s jaw dropped when Stripper!Will came out. And even though I ever so slightly... fell over in my stripper heels... right in front of my idols... Well, we looked fierce :P

I’d also like to share a pic of my Hannibal vinyl which I’ve had signed this con and last, and which now bears the sentiment ‘Great Stripping’ from Mr Aaron Abrams. This is the kind of positive affirmation I need in my life ha ha!

Now. Let’s talk about Bryan. Sit down, we’ll be here a while.

I’ll start by saying I had a few moments with Bryan that I can’t talk about publicly, either because they were deeply, deeply personal, or because they relate to something which may happen in the future but I don’t want to jinx it.

Bryan was just a bundle of energy and enthusiasm and love the entire weekend. From yelling ‘I want to crowd-surf!’ and going running around the hall slapping high fives, to signing autographs on Sunday for 8 freaking hours straight without taking a break (except to do the closing ceremony, and going straight back to it), he was just incredible. He was just so excited to see everyone and could not be stopped from jumping out of whatever he was supposed to be doing to take selfies or snap a pic of someone’s costume or tattoo (he took a pic of my arm ha ha!).

Speaking of his marathon autograph session, I stewarded it the whole time (3.30pm-11.30pm, phew!) and I don’t think he stopped smiling once that entire time. He was insistent on spending time with each and every person and it was a real delight to witness. Towards the end of the session, when there were only a few dozen people left, I remembered I had some of these posters in my bag and handed them out to the people queuing to spark some conversation with them, since we were all tired by then. I went back to guarding the door, when a fannibal ran up to me and said Bryan wanted one of the posters--he’d seen someone holding it, but I don’t think he knew where it had come from. I didn’t have any left on my person, so the lovely fannibal gave hers back and the staff let me slip it onto Bryan’s table (lovely fannibal, if you’re reading this, let me know who you are and I’ll send you a replacement and something pretty to say thank you!). Sadly, this almost ended in tears because one person at the end of the queue did something shockingly spiteful and unkind which resulted in Bryan losing the poster... I won’t go into details because it’s not worth the drama. But thanks to the kindness of the staff, and possibly because I have good karma, we got him a spare and he told me he wants to frame it. I don’t know if he will, but it was so sweet of him to say I just cried! That was the second time he made me cry that day! As for the first time...

As many of you know, I was compiling a fan book for Bryan featuring art, letters, poems, and pictures from fannibals all over the world. I got around 200 submissions, so thank you all so much for making that happen! Bryan already knew about the book because he somehow found my post on Twitter, and had said he was super excited. Boy was he excited.

I spent weeks working on the book, culiminating in two sleepless nights before the con feverishly finalizing the proofs, and sent it off to the printer Thursday morning. Kudos to my printers for hearing a frantic fannibal on the phone begging them to rush the order and doing such a great job of it! It arrived at the hotel shortly I did on Friday, and I began taking it around for people to sign and write messages on the inside covers. After all, I had titled it the Fannibal Yearbook, so that seemed appropriate. Thank you all for the enthusiastic and heartfelt response!

On Saturday morning, I had a photo with Bryan and decided to get one of us holding the book, because I was really attached to it by now and wanted something to remember it by. Bryan’s face lit up when he saw it and he said he’d been looking forward to it, but I told him he couldn’t have it yet and shouldn’t look at it! He said he loved it already and squeezed me after we’d taken the picture:

On Sunday, with the book now chock-full of messages for him, I decided the best time to present it to him would be during his q&a panel with Hugh, so everyone could enjoy his reaction (it wasn’t my book, so many people made it possible and they all deserved to share that moment). I got in line, and when I got to the mic and told him we’d like to present him the book, his reaction was amazing. He grinned and said something like ‘I’ve been looking forward to this all weekend! It’s the last day of the con and I thought, where’s my book, I want my book!’ Then he hopped down off the stage to take it, and gave me a huge hug.

(photo by @solamentenic on Twitter, whose tumblr name momentarily escapes me!)

(Photo by Naomi Roper Photogaphy)

I believe what happened next was Bryan thanking everyone for all their lovely art and letters, etc... But I was suddenly very emotional and didn’t want him to see me cry (again, that resolve lasted all of about 10 hours) so I went back to my seat and had a wee sob. Thanks to the person who gave me a tissue!

I hope he loves the book, and maybe he will tweet some pictures at some point! Then earlier today, someone sent me a link to these pictures on the Starfury Instragram account:

These pictures were already EVERYTHING. And then I noticed which page they were looking at in the first picture. It’s this one:

The one in the bottom right corner that Hugh seems to be looking/pointing at? That’s a piece of my own art that I included: The Brides of Hannibal pastiche poster, aka my favourite thing I’ve ever drawn. I don’t know if they’re looking at the same page in the second picture, but that reaction is so beautiful and pure that, whatever caused it, it’s giving me life! Just think guys--we made Bryan throw his head back laughing, we did it! High five!

I’m going to wrap it up there because this has taken 3 hours to write already, even though I’m definitely forgetting about 100 amazing things that happened. Thank you all for the hugs, the gifts, the laughs, and just basically for being the most lovely and caring group of people I’ve ever had the privilege of associating with. I love you all, and I can’t wait until we dine together again!

Yours totally functional and more or less sane,

Sam xx

(p.s. I think I’m right in saying Bryan confirmed Will and Hannibal are switches?? This makes me suuuuuper happy)

#personal #rdc3 #red dragon con 3 #starfury #hannibal con #hannibal #bryan fuller #hugh dancy #demore barnes #aaron abrams #scott thompson #ellen muth

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mestos · 8 years ago

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3AM Ramblings

LMAO well

what you see above there is actually a wip image of a small comic lol, changed the way i draw alpha’s hair yet again but whatcha got to lose, sad part about the comic is that ill prolly never post it on tumblr (or at least, try not to) but itll be up on my pixiv since i’m basically trying to build a log to upload, and i didn’t draw enough over the past few months of m///apl/e due to school. i don’t feel right just uploading 2pics bc ik it could get disappointing opening a photoset and only seeing 2 pics lmaoOOOOOooooo

trying really hard to get rid of my attention-seeking habits. a long time back, i never actually had a problem with it? like, i was attentionseeking but not to the unhealthy extent i am now. i think making an askblog really ruined me mentally as notes and notifs and numbers suddenly took a huge impact on me? back then, it was just something i observed from afar but now when ive felt the numbers myself thats when it started to get really bad. ive had a bunch of friends tell me off for this - and i’m well aware that skill =/= number of notes/notifs, but its still such a fucking struggle to get rid of the mindset. i still glance by this godforsaken website and all my blog lists wondering if its worth putting time and effort then feeling disappointed and depressed when i see a low number or whatever after I post, and logically speaking that ain’t cool for me to do but I still do it anyway. trying to refrain is going to be one of the methods i try to avoid it, but i just hope i don’t end up lapsing back into the shitty mindset once i do post things again.

aside from that, a lot of my loneliness really stemmed from having no one to scream about my things towards bc HA, i like screaming to someone who understands the feeling towards the media with enthusiasm, and i often wonder if i’m spamming my twitter - i am, no doubt about that - so i really do say sorry to all my mutuals lmao...although i’m in a Avoid M///a//p///l//e/S///////t///o//r//y At All Costs phase rn bc all that dumb game/franchise has ever brought me is salt, despair, bullshit, etc. my favourites are never noticed, i fucking despise freud x zero till i die and that’s all i ever goddamn see (yeah, i said it. i dont give a fuck) , and well. idk. i feel like my skill is so limited bc - even though i enjoy drawing my faves, i feel like its not bringing me anywhere with my improvement, so i’m trying new things/focusing more on my original works. drawing Tiaz is still technically related bc he is a franchise OC, but i dont really associate him with whatever salt bc most of what i associate him with is like, the completely insert-based material. really, his story just contains the lore and not so much the bullshit story that makes me angry in the first place, so i’m cool with that. i really like drawing asta/teria too, i did a vote with my twit account and im pretty pleased to know that people really like them too?? my friend personally also said they’re her current faves out of my ocs so that makes me soooo so pleased (lbr, teria is super pretty and asta is swag).

sometimes i really envy people. its weird, because i can do the same thing as them? its so simple. but for some reason i feel like, i can’t at the same time or the chance always escapes me? or that i feel overwhelmingly obnoxious the minute i do something simple like sending a message. i’m also really closed off because i’m highly selective of the things i like, which makes it even harder. plus bc a lot of the time i cater to myself more than others and since i do that im usually in a minority, which makes it more difficult for me to magnetize people towards me. i’m trying though!! i do strike up conversations when i see it... but i always suffer that ‘i can help. but i don’t know how.’ thought which limits me even more??? god, i’m always so hesitant. when i was faced in a situation where someone was suffering i immediately stepped in to help but i didn’t know what to do? i asked questions but i really wasnt- i really didnt know what i couldve done. eventually someone else stepped in with more experience and was able to settle the situation, but the feeling of ‘i couldve helped but i didn’t know how’ just really stuck with me. i feel like i lack the maturity and independence to go out but i’m confused on how to change that? bc those things are built with experience, which means i need to go out and get some experience, but that’s easier said than done lol. i do feel like, sure, one thing i can do to get closer with people is listen to them and ha, i do that! anytime someone needs it, i’m willing to lend an ear or time. but what i do notice is that, while someone needs someone else to listen they also need guidance or advice. i’m aware i cant change the fact that i’m inexperienced in so much that i can’t offer any words of wisdom, but there it is again, the ‘i can help but i don’t know how’ feeling. i don’t want to say shit and i always have felt like ‘you’re saying shit they’ve heard before and you’re just making it worse’ whenever i try to say something reassuring. so i...i really envy people who can step in and create new bonds without these types of thoughts holding them back. i’m trying to get rid of them as best as i could because they sound like excuses don’t they? it sounds like i’ve come up with reasons to avoid interacting with new people. ha, that’s really not the case though...

wow this is long. it is late. i should sleep. did not want to overload my twit with a dumb threat so long ass tumblr post it is.

#neesan texto #neesan hates life #personal #long post #thinking too much.#ah but i am glad that i was somewhat able to help people at some point #it means that yes i can help #and that i do know how at some cases #but lately well idk #am i really helpful? or am i just repeating the same old words people have heard before #because yknow i always feel that way #like ahhhh here it is i know already but i appreciate the concern #well i dont quite mean ALWAYS feel that way but ykno sometimes it feels like deja vu #AHHHHHHHHHHH why am I so hesitant!!!!!!!#this is suddenly goin down to am I a good friend thought #lmao @ me can you stop doubting yourself

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tellytantra · 6 years ago

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(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Anika gets shocked seeing Shivaye with some girl. She asks where were you, why weren’t you answering my calls, who is this girl. The girl says you said we will get total privacy here. Anika says its my right to question Shivaye. Shivaye says don’t worry Tara, its my house and we will get all the privacy here, come. They go and have a drink. He says you are no less than a star, your name should have been a moon, you are so beautiful. He holds her hand. Anika looks on. She asks what’s this. He says we are talking. She asks this way, holding hands. He says don’t mind, she is possessive wife. Tara says why did you marry her. He says I didn’t find you, I realized I did mistake to marry Anika, lower class people don’t relations, friendship of their limits. He asks may we get some privacy now. Anika cries and leaves. Shivaye thanks Tara for doing this drama. She says I can stay if you want. He says just leave. She goes. He throws the glass in anger. Gauri stops Shivaye and says I had to apologize to you, I was upset seeing Anika in that state, sorry. He says you don’t need to apologize, you said right, Anika’s safety was my responsibility, which I didn’t fulfill, because I don’t want to, I know what I want from my life and what I don’t want, this marriage is a burden for me, go and tell Anika to just let go and end this unwanted relation, it would be right for both of us. He goes to room. He asks Anika what are you doing here. She says its our room. She asks why are you sleeping on bed. He says because I sleep here, let me sleep, the guest room is arranged for you, just go. She asks why are you doing this. He twists her hand. He says I m fed up of your questions and you, don’t you understand, I m done with you, go away, I have become old Shivaye, I hate the mention of marriage, I wanted revenge and then accepted you as I was feeling guilty, I will never accept you, I was in prison and thought you would be gone, but you are pretty stubborn, have you ever wondered why I didn’t claim husband’s rights, because I never had any such feelings for you, I never regarded you as my wife, I realized I can’t be happy with you, I can’t keep you happy, be it romance or enmity, its worth it when the other person is worthy, you aren’t worthy of me. Anika says you act really well, do you know what’s the problem, I know you very well, you went in guilty zone after my accident, you think I m not safe with you, you are doing this drama to make me away, I will prove my worth, to hell with your attitude and swag, I will neither go away nor let you go away, I will become worthy of your love. He goes. She goes after him and says you can’t run from me. He says you have forgotten what I have done with you. She says I just remember what you have done for me, I know there is love behind your anger. He says you don’t know me. He throws a vase down and says I can break anything, be it an object or a person. Everyone comes and looks on. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Shivaye asks Gauri to explain Anika, he doesn’t want to take up her or anyone’s responsibility, I m fed up. He says you all can manage your own responsibilities. He shouts on Anika and throws a stool down. He says don’t anger me, when I get angry, I don’t care who I hurt. He sits on the railing. Anika asks him to get down, what is he doing. Om and everyone ask him to get down. Roop asks what are you doing. Shivaye says you think I m doing this for you, I don’t care for myself, why would I care for you. He jumps over to the chandelier. Anika asks him to get down. Roop says get down. Shivaye says let me clear someone’s misunderstanding first, Anika do you accept now, you don’t know me, and you two could never understand me. Om says just get down. Shivaye asks why, do you worry for me, you didn’t think of me when you divided this house, someone had returned after five years, you never thought how will I feel. Roop says get down and talk. Shivaye angrily jumps down. He says the drama is over, you may go, everything will be like it was before, the way I want. He leaves. Anika stops him from shutting the door. They argue. He says you compelled me to do it. She says you did what you wanted to, now its my turn. She claps. He asks what’s this. She says the drama is over, so I m applauding, you know something, acting is never real. He says that wasn’t acting. She says you felt bad, what will you break now, break this showpiece, break something, people should know how destructive my husband is, never mind, I will keep it back, I m tired, I m trying to sleep, its almost 2am, I have to wake up at 4. He asks why. She says its Karwachauth tomorrow, please switch off lights before going to sleep. He thinks why is this girl so stubborn, its Karwachauth tomorrow, its good chance to show that I don’t accept this marriage. Bhavya says Jhanvi is sweet, she never forgets to send Sargi. Gauri says yes, she is in the USA but she never lets us feel that she is away. Bhavya says lets check what she has sent. Anika checks the items. Shivaye looks on and says what do I do of this girl, no one has sent her Sargi, I m not treating her well, even then she is keeping fast for me. She checks the cashews. She says just two are enough. Shivaye says cashews might be in my room. She goes to get sweets. He fills the container with cashews. He hides. Omru come. Om says you are going to starve for us all day. Rudra says we can do this for our wives. Om feeds Gauri. Rudra feeds Bhavya. Anika says how come there are so many cashews, Gauri is too much. He sees the time and says why isn’t Anika eating, I think I should do something. He asks what are these. She says its Sargi, you are with me, I used to break fast seeing your pic, this time you will break my fast. He says I won’t, I don’t regard you my wife, I will throw this. She says I m observing fast with devotion. He asks why aren’t you following rituals, why aren’t you eating Sargi. She says I will eat. He asks will you eat after sunrise. She quickly eats. He goes. Its morning, Anika asks Shivaye to have breakfast. He says I had my breakfast. She asks when. He says how does it matter. She says come home soon before moon’s coming, its Karwachauth today. He asks what are you trying to prove, this marriage doesn’t mean to me, you are hurting yourself. She says you are also hurting yourself, never mind, be at home early, I won’t end fast until you come. He goes. Bhavya comes to Anika and says sorry, I overheard your conversation, but I don’t think he will break your fast. Anika says don’t worry, I know how to deal with him. Anika, Gauri and Bhavya get mehendi applied. Roop says send snacks for the men. Anika says I didn’t send food for Shivaye. She calls Khanna and says I m sending lunch for Shivaye. She thinks Shivaye you will end my fast today. Precap:Shivaye says wearing a suit and sitting on CEO chair, won’t make you a businessman. Rudra says Om, warn this man. Shivaye says call me bhaiya, say it else… Rudra asks else what. Update Credit to: Amena

http://cattybilli.blogspot.com/2018/10/ishqbaaz-30th-october-2018-episode.html

#SEO #Local SEO training Ishqbaaz 30th October 2018 Episode Written Update http://cattybilli.blogspot

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avaycarter · 6 years ago

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GLAM + Ambition = Glambition™ Check out the highlights from Beauty Night Out 2018 #GBNO18 #KnockingDownWallsInHeels hosted by @Google

Above: I rarely a start a post with a 'see what I did there?' but I cropped out the person I took this picture for just because I loved the idea of her silhouette juxtaposed against the event signage. I have been really into getting more creative with my Photography. This was shot with a Canon Rebel, I have since switched to Nikon.

In 2016 during Women's History Month I got to attend a very special event called "GLAMBITION Women Think Big". An event intended to help empower and inspire and explore the many roles we play both in life and in business. (Linking you to it just in case you missed it.)

This year Glambition returned to NYC in a different venue, Google's NYC offices in Chelsea. On the day of this event many marches were being held for the #MeToo movement. I actually did not know that but discovered it that day when tons of women participating in the rally in NYC boarded the MTA Subway Train I was on with their signs in tow.

I love that Glambition events have aligned with significant dates of importance for women.

If you have a bit of GLAM in you and a ton of Ambition then Glambition™ events are definitely for YOU!

There were panel sessions that helped to empower entrepreneurs - women in business who are doing big things and are willing to share the journey so you can learn from their mistakes and be inspired by their triumps!

Photo Highlights:

Above: Google Neon Sign, NYC HQ Lobby

Above: Google was all about empowering entrepreneurs, and this butterfly was there to soak it all in!

Above: Salud Para Todos greeted guests with their Moringa Detox and Wellness Tea which was perfect because it was freezing outside and it tasted great! I also happened to be the lucky winner of their raffle and won a cool gift basket full of products that fit in perfectly with my personal and blog focus phrase for 2018 'self-care'. So you will see more on this soon, and I hope to partner with them to bring something fun for my butterflies that focuses on self-care. Which is something I have always been saying most of us do NOT get nearly enough of! Take care of your body, it is the engine that drives you daily.

Above: Photo 1: Left: Esmeralda Cruz, CEO of EC-OPS and in the second photo I couldn't help but get a close up of 'Big Lashes Lead To A Big Life'.

Above: Honor Thy Sweets treated guests to cupcakes! NOM NOM NOM

Above: Model Citizen's booth had fun t-shirt swag! They had pretty neat raffles too, I guess I can't win them all, but will post a pic in my tee for a wordless wednesday or on insta, so be sure you are following me there as well.

Above: And with my love of animal prints I spotted this super cute clutch from Faces Beautiful by Gail Sagel across the room! This is so ME! I am an avid travel lover, and I pride myself on being able to anywhere with just ONE carry on and my purse, and that's it. One thing I always like to pack is a clutch so on evenings out or a day just at the hotel I just carry essentials, this clutch is so packable and while it is meant to carry your Faces Beautiful Makeup, you can leave the makeup in the room and use the clutch for an evening out or have this as your makeup travel case. More to come, and they have also been invited to come back and doing something fun. I am also working on an animal print accessories round up and this is definitely going in there as well.

Above: You guys know I am obsessed with Plum Sake (just search my archives - my favorite is Gekkeikan Plum Sake), so when I discovered Plush Vodka - a plum flavored Vodka I was definitely trying it out and the signature cocktails too! They were also invited to do something fun - so stay tuned.

Above: As if Plum Vodka and signature cocktails weren't enough, the fine folks at Bartenura were offering a very nice selection of wines including a very nice Rose and Pinot Grigio!

Above: Dee Rivera, Founder of Dee and CO Group.

Above: Angelina Darrisaw, C-Suite Coach, providing affordable and accessible coaching and career content to millenial professionals with diverse backgrounds.

Above: Aisha Taylor Strategic Partnerships and Program Lead at Google. Aisha launched and oversees Google’s new Digital Coaches Program to equip and empower women and minority-owned small businesses with digital marketing training across 9 U.S. pilot cities (Atlanta, Austin, Bay Area, Chicago, Detroit, LA, Miami, NYC and Washington DC).

Above: Building Beauty is an Asset Panel. Don't let Social fool you, getting rich via Instagram and Blogging is not happening for everyone, and certainly not as easily or quickly as social makes it look. Whether you made or are still trying to make your first 'insta-millions' taking control of your finances is the best way to be sure you have a comfortable future. How to build assets with a Life Insurance was helmed by the team at New York Life Insurance.

Above: Building a Viable Brand Panel

Above: Panel discussion moderated by Hello Beautiful Style & Beauty Editor and Founder of Model Citizen, Danielle James. Left to Right: Sarah Perez (CEO of SALUD), Vera Moore (Founder, Vera Moore Cosmetics), Jane Carter (Founder, Jane Carter Solution), Kim Baker (Founder, Glamazon Cosmetics) Check out the video coverage of these panels here: https://hellobeautiful.com/2976193/glambition-beauty-night-out-speakers/

MY TAKE:

I love supporting women in business and women owned businesses! I love meeting women who are willing to share their journey. No one has an easy rise/ride to the top, it takes hard work and a ton of guts to make it to the top of your industry. I like how this event came at Entrepreneurship from all sides, the triumphs, hardships and obstacles that other successful female entrepreneurs have faced, and a reminder that getting a grip on all facets of wealth building and equity including being insured, are important foundations to your success. Follow your gut instincts, and never second guess yourself was one of the greatest takeaways for me.

Readers Sound Off: What is YOUR GLAMbition? ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•●•٠·˙ FTC Disclosure: This is NOT a monetarily compensated Post, but it certainly should be. This is not just my passion project, it's my business/brand. This is an event recap and passes were provided for Editorial Consideration. All opinions are 100% my own! I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission 16 CFR, Part 255 - Guides Concerning the use of endorsements and testimonials in advertising, you may check our Giveaway and Disclosure Page for additional information regarding Ascending Butterfly Disclosure.

GLAM + Ambition = Glambition™ Check out the highlights from Beauty Night Out 2018 #GBNO18 #KnockingDownWallsInHeels hosted by @Google published first on https://vsguides.tumblr.com/

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thezombiemamma · 7 years ago

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Once again, my inability to schedule a flight that didn’t leave at an ungodly hour made my last day in New York span 2 but that’s okay. Having run myself into complete exhaustion on Friday, I had no problem sleeping until 8 Saturday morning which meant I was more than ready to take on the 30+ hours of awesome that lay before me. All I had to do was jump out of bed and get crackin’. Which is exactly what I did.

Getting back to the Prudential Center bright and early Saturday morning, I got to spend the entire morning doing the one thing I love most: spend time with my friends. My one panel of the weekend was scheduled for late Saturday afternoon and all of my artist engagement passes had been for Friday so I got to spend the entire day on Saturday doing nothing more than wandering the grounds, enjoying all that KCON had to offer, with some of the people I love most in this whole world.

Showin’ off my friends’ swag since all I won was a phone ring… #lame

Saturday morning, I got to spend my time with the same pair of friends I’d spent the concert with Friday night. Having an entire year’s worth of life to catch up on, we talked and laughed and basically just enjoyed each other’s company as we wandered all over the grounds of the Prudential Center. Of course we had to stop at every booth offering free goodies along the way… Which meant we stopped at them all. As we passed the KCON TV booth, we happened to come across GoToe as he was doing an interview and I just couldn’t pass up the chance to record a little bit. I mean he was dancing to Psy’s “New Face” and all and well… Some things just need to be recorded for posterity!

Only at KCON do you get to see @xhlrud dancing to Psy on the street. #zombiesadventures #kcon2017

A post shared by Zombie Mamma (@thezombiemamma) on Jun 24, 2017 at 10:27am PDT

Sadly, my time with my friends went by all too quickly. Before I knew it, it was time for them to head back home. After many hugs and promises to keep in touch, we parted ways. Winding my way back through the massive crowd, I headed for the one place where I knew I’d be able to find a bit of A/C and a place to charge my phone. The press room! Yeah, I know. I’m a cheater, using my badge to cool off and charge up but what’s the point of being press if you can’t enjoy some of the perks? Even better than having a place to chill and recharge is knowing that walking into the press room almost always guarantees running into more friends and this time was no exception. Of course, with many badges comes many responsibilities and pretty soon all of us were off and running, going this way and that. While my friends were running off to do all that super-important official stuff that makes them so much cooler than I am, I ran off to… Well to be perfectly honest, I set off to wander around and take photos of the convention but what I ended up doing was running into UP10TION. As in, almost literally.

That moment when you just happen to be at the right place at the right time and UP10TION walks right past you… #zombiesadventures #kcon2017ny #up10tion

A post shared by Zombie Mamma (@thezombiemamma) on Jun 24, 2017 at 3:57pm PDT

Yup! You read that right! You know how I talked about randomly being at the right place at the right time on Friday and having HIGHLIGHT walk right past me? Well, this was another one of those random yet incredibly awesome times that can only ever happen at a place like KCON. As I was walking out of the Prudential Center Saturday afternoon, UP10TION was just leaving the Toyota tent where, I’m assuming, they’d just had a whole fan interaction thing like KNK had done the day before, and somehow we ended up passing at just the right moment. I honestly didn’t even realize what was going on at first so I kind of missed a few of the guys as they walked past me, but I did managed to pull out my phone fast enough to record some of them. I think if I’d left a couple of seconds later, I really would have run into them and how awkward would that have been???

Kevin is always so sweet to his fans and his smiles are the best!

The even funnier thing was, that this wasn’t the only time I almost ran into an idol that day! Later in the afternoon, I was walking from the green room towards the panel tents when who should suddenly cross my path out of nowhere? Why, Kevin Woo, of course! It was just him and maybe his manager or a coordi or I don’t know who it was, but the two of them were headed inside the Prudential Center just as I was about to walk past the door and I was so busy checking my phone, trying to figure out where I was supposed to be and when, that I almost ran into them. Lucky for me, I heard people shouting hi at Kevin before he got close enough for me to actually run into him, so I didn’t make a complete fool out of myself. But I did just kind of stop in the middle of the sidewalk and watch him smile and wave at his fans before dashing off inside, right in front of me. It was a very funny moment to me, for some odd reason, and certainly one I’ll never forget. I mean it’s not every day you almost run into Kevin Woo!

Though now that I think about it. Saturday was just a day full of randomly running into people. I mean I found GoToe at the KCON TV booth that morning. Then I almost ran into UP10TION and Kevin Woo that afternoon. As I was wandering around the grounds later in the day, I got to meet Sunny Park from Sunny’s Channel and the Korea Bros, not to mention all the amazing people who just randomly walked up to me just to say hi. (Believe it or not, I still have a very hard time believing there are people out there who actually know me as no one other than Zombie Mamma, so when people come up to me and say hi, it tends to throw me for a loop. It’s a good loop, don’t get me wrong. It’s just kinda weird. In a good way. Oh I should probably just shut up and get back to writing. Which isn’t really shutting up… Oh good grief!)

K-Pop Tater Tots Unite!

Back to wandering around KCON on Saturday… With my fellow K-Pop Tater Tot beside me (aka Young Ajummah) we explored all that KCON had to offer. Stopping to chat with friends, vendors, fellow K-Pop and drama fans, basically anyone who was willing to take a few second to chat. We visited vendor booths, took photos, explored pretty much everything and had so much fun, we were almost late getting to our panel that afternoon! Running over to the panel tents just in time, we sat down with our fellow panelists, Chunkeemonkeeato and Joan Voss Macdonald to discuss The Next K-Drama Star.

So who is your favorite rising K-Drama star?

Now I’m know I’m pretty biased when I’m say this but this year’s panel was one of the most fun I’ve been a part of. Getting together with some amazing people, to talk about all of the up-and-coming actors and actresses who are currently making waves in the Korean drama industry, is awesome all on its own. But then to have so many people come to our panel and not only fill those seats but actually join us for this conversation… Well, you just can’t ask for anything better! With so much great material to talk about and so many in the audience excited and happy to participate, the hour we spent together went by so quickly. I can easily say that this panel was the highlight of my entire KCON 2017 NY experience and my only regret is that I had to run away as soon as the panel ended because I was already 15 minutes late to the Red Carpet press check-in. (Don’t worry, I had made arrangements ahead of time to check in as soon as my panel was over but those arrangements involved running and sweating and a very big need for water once I got to where I needed to be.) I did get to meet a couple of people before all that running and to those of you who took the time to come up to me and say hi afterwards, all I can say is, it was an honor to meet you! I’m so happy you took a minute to come up and say hi! I really hope that next time we’ll have more time to talk and I won’t have to run away like a crazy person.

Crazy as I am, I did make it to the Red Carpet on time, I did manage to get some pretty decent pictures. I did finally get them edited and up for ATK Magazine (which you can find here). From there it was off to the concert to squeal my little fangirl self silly over TWICE and UP10TION and NCT 127 and CNBLUE. It was a good concert and at some point there were tears (because this is CN-frickin’-BLUE we’re talking about here… The very reason I made this decent into madness all those years ago…) and if you want to know my thoughts on the whole entire concert you can read those here.

It’s hard to get a good late night skyline pic with nothing but your phone. Still, I did try!

After the concert I said goodbye to friends from far and wide and meet up with those I would be spending my last few hours with in New York. Taking a very scenic, relaxing, trip across Manhattan with a friend should be the way every trip to New York ends. Stopping to grab a drink at a place along the riverfront, we spent who knows how long, talking and laughing while we enjoyed the cool breeze and the beautiful Manhattan skyline. From there we lazily made our way to my friend’s neighborhood diner to grab a bite before I headed off to the airport. I have to say, there’s nothing that warms your soul quite like a piping hot bowl of soup and a good friend. Again, time passed without us knowing so much so that by the time we left the diner, it was practically time for me to leave. A quick stop at her house to freshen up a bit and say our last goodbyes was all that stood between me and the hour-long subway ride to the airport. And boy was that an adventure!

I always have the most interesting early morning subway adventures when I’m in New York.

It’s kind of disappointing, trading such a soul-warming experience for one that leaves you rather… Um… Grossed out? I’ll spare you the details but let me just say, I couldn’t finish my trip without changing seats and if I could leave you all with a single word of advice please, please, PLEASE, don’t ever take public transportation if you’re so drunk you can’t sit without falling over. Or don’t let your drunk friends go home that way either? Please! There are some experiences I’d rather not have and that was definitely one of them! At least I made it to the airport unscathed and untarnished. (Barely…)

Like an oasis in the desert, so this coffee shop is to the overnight traveler.

Safely back in the land of travel-weary zombies (aka, the airport) I checked myself in and breezed through security in less than 5 minutes. (Believe it or not, there’s not much of a line at 3 in the morning!) Having traversed the vast expanse of JFK before, I knew I had about a zillion mile walk ahead of me. What my overly exhausted, must have coffee now, can’t think anymore brain didn’t remember was just how deserted the place was that early in the morning. (It also didn’t remember that no coffee shops were open that early and that ugly reality hit me so hard I almost started to cry!) However, after doing my best zombie impression for about a half hour or so, signs of life started to appear and lo! A semi-open coffee shop came into view! All of heaven’s angels sang songs of rejoicing as I took that first sip of life-giving brew and suddenly, I found the strength to continue on my epic quest to find Gate B42.

It was either dance or run in terror. I chose dance. #ThankYouJonghyun

Funny thing was, all life disappeared again as soon as that coffee shop disappeared from view and once again I felt like I was walking straight into a scene from some horrifying zombie flick. I swear, I was expecting to see Gong Yoo come running down the empty terminal, straight at me, with a massive horde of ravenous zombies chasing him, at any second. (In case you didn’t notice, my over-active imagine gets even more over-active when it’s tired and also, I scare really easily. So much so, that sometimes, I end up scaring myself in my own head.) To keep myself from getting too freaked out, I started listening to music. Jonghyun’s She Is album, to be exact, and I got so caught up in the music that without realizing it, I started dancing my way down the terminal. Looking back on the whole thing, I really hope the place was as deserted as I imagined it to be because if it wasn’t… Well, I’d rather not think about that.

After dancing my way to the escalator, the rest of my airport adventures are pretty hum-drum. My gate lay waiting for me at the bottom of those magic moving stairs so I grabbed a seat, whipped out my book and killed the hours until my flight left my reading all about Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy own not-so-wild adventures. I did somehow get an upgraded seat on the way home, for which I was very much appreciative. And once I got home, I realized the only thing I’d really eaten for the past 2 days were frickin’ sandwiches so I hijacked the car when hubs came to pick me up and drove to H-Mart, where I proceeded to order and devour a giant bowl of yukgaejang (육개장) at 9 in the morning. I’m pretty sure the guy behind the counter was wondering what the heck this crazy white lady was doing, ordering that so early in the morning but you know what? I didn’t care! It was so nice to eat real food! I even got little bungeoppang (붕어빵) which I had intended to take home for the littles but I ended up eating them on the way home. Oops!

And so ended my NY adventures… With blue skies and my feet up. #LifeIsGood

Back in Chicago, my KCON 2017 NY adventures officially came to an end. As one might expect, when I got home, I crashed and crashed HARD. But it was so worth it! It had been a weekend full of amazing experiences, incredible friends and unexpected adventures. Needless to say, KCON 2017 NY will be one of the many moments in my life that I will never, ever forget.

KCON 2017: Zombie’s Adventures in NY – Days 3-4 Once again, my inability to schedule a flight that didn't leave at an ungodly hour made my last day in New York span 2 but that's okay.

#KCON 2017 NY #Zombie&039;s Adventures

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thehappinessofabookworm-blog · 8 years ago

Photo

Alrighty. So. This is a good and a bad.

I am THE Least Photogenic Person I Know™

Which is sad, because in this picture I LITERALLY MET MY FUCKING IDOL

I LOVE LINDSEY STIRLING WITH ALL MY HEART. ME, #1 LINDSEY STIRLING TRASH.

She is the one in the middle, the other one that is not me is her sister, Brook.

I took this pic when I met her at her book signing, which her sister helped write that’s why she (brook) is there, and IT WAS LITERALLY THE BEST. Well next to the two of her concerts I went to. During the second one I literally cried.

Honestly she is the most perfect person in the world. I resonate really strongly with her songs. She plays violin, DUBSTEP violin, and she dances when she plays!!!!!! The most perfect!!!!! I am dying just thinking about it.

JUST LOOK AT THAT BACK-BEND. WHILE PLAYING. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THE LEG THING. THE FLEXIBILITY. THE STRENGTH TO HOLD IT UP THERE. AND WHILE PLAYING. I’VE SEEN HER DO THESE THINGS LIVE WHILE PLAYING!!!!!!

I refuse to be embarrassed to admit that I own all three of her albums in the target deluxe editions, her first album on vinyl, the signed autobiography, a Shatter Me tee shirt, a Brave Enough tee shirt, the sheet music for Roundtable Rival and Song of the Caged Bird, and no less than two books of her covers. I also have a few of her covers of other songs that I bought and downloaded, but I question their legality, which I will probably talk about later.

Yeah. I’m a nerd. but she is worth it.

So she started out playing violin, won a few pageants with her moving while playing violin stuff. Then she got on America’s Got Talent. She made it to the quarter finals. She got cut. Piers Morgan told her on national television that she “a bunch of rats being strangled” and a few other things.

In my personal opinion, Piers Morgan can go eat a bag of dicks. “No market for a dancing violinist” my ASS. He can stick those words back up where they came from. He’s one to talk with his doughboy looking ass and no actual career. (He is just generally an unpleasant person.)

She came back from this though. The song Crystallize from her first album was a youtube hit, with the music video getting 42 Million views in that first year. Shatter Me, her second album (or maybe the title track) was #2 on the Billboard 200, and won her an award in 2014.

She did all this while struggling with anorexia. In her free time, she’s a motivational speaker. I am SO FUCKING MOTIVATED BY HER. aaaahhhhh. I can’t even explain how her songs and her words make me feel. But it’s good.

She dropped her third album this year, and it had a lot of collaborations, and her song with Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness (weirdly extra name), Something Wild, which was featured in that new Pete’s dragon movie, is getting a TON of airplay right now. Her album was one of the only good things about 2016 tbh.

Beyond her personality and dancing, which are amazing, is her music. OH MY GOD HER MUSIC IT IS SO GREAT. YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS STUFF.

The orchestral version of Transcendence gives me life. Crystallize inspires me to love myself. Shatter Me, the song she wrote about breaking free from her eating disorder, it’s just SO GOOD. (Also the singer she collaborated with for that one is Lzzy Hale, the lead singer of Halestorm, which is an amazing heavy metal band, is an actual godess.) The Arena, from her new album is my newest inspiration. It’s based off of the Teddy Roosevelt quote, and it gives me the courage and strength to face everything from school to work. (It takes a LOT of courage to face those kids.) (Three year olds are evil, and four year olds want to kill me. With rubber balls.)

Honestly, if you asked me I could probably come up with an instance for every one of her songs where I was listening to it and I found a new inspiration inside me when I listened to it that one time. Except maybe Swag. No wait I found inspiration in that one too.

Now, when she started touring, she had two band members: Drew on drums and Gavi on keyboard. Gavi was her best friend, and in 2015 he died of cancer at age 35. Lindsey was understandably devastated. She has a song on Brave Enough called Gavi’s Song, that she started writing and had to finish without him, which I cannot listen to without crying.

I died a little inside when I was reading her autobiography, and she said something about how she didn’t know what she’d do without Gavi and I had so many feelings. So Many. the book was finished before he died but published after and there’s an in memory of at the end and its SO FRICKEN SAD WHYYYYYYYYYY SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS SHE TALKED ABOUT IT DURING HER CONCERT BC SHE WAS DOING HER INSPIRATIONAL SPEAKING THING AND I THINK I DIED THERE.

Shes so strong and I love her and her music makes me so freaking happy.

My mom is trying to get me to write her a letter to get her to come to the genesee but I’m afraid I’ll come off as creepy.

On the subject of violinists, while I love Lindsey, I was slightly less impressed with Lee England. He’s from Waukegan, Mrs. Dudley actually taught him, he’s a pretty cool dude.

So my beef with him. last year, the Dudleys say to me, hey do you want to play a quartet with us and Esteban? and I’m like, sure! so I go over to their house (bc they live close to me) for rehearsal. This dude is there, and I’m like: ????????? because I’ve never heard of him. So the event is this fundraiser gala he’s doing at the genesee for the charity thing he does called ’’love notes” which is a thing to help kids get music education in poor places. We play, and there’s some adults there too to play with us bc they don’t trust us. We play a couple pieces of his with him, under the impression that we’re going to preform them with him. He’s a RnB violinist, he does a lot of improv. So we get to the event, and I WAS SO EXCITED BC OMG WE GOT A GREENROOM SET UP FOR US, I got to play at the genesee, like not as an orchestra, even if we were hidden sorta up on a balcony.

Also did you know that there is a little terrace behind the genesee sign???? because I didn’t and I got to go out there, we took a pic it was so cool.

Anyways, so the time comes for him to play, and we’re up here like “is he gonna call us down?” Well, it ended up with us not preforming with him. Needless to say I was a bit disappointed. (You can tell by my face in the next pic. But that was partially bc he put his arm around my waist for the pic and I was very uncomfortable.)

I guess he liked me though because we took a pic, and he gave me a signed sample CD with a personalized message and while we were practicing he have me some advice.

I am NOT photogenic, but Rachel actually looks really nice in this picture. Maureen was falling asleep on Esteban as we were standing there, that was when she was recovering from mono.

Moral of the story, Lindsey Stirling is an amazing human bean, and has some of THE best music I’ve ever heard. Also I met a celebrity from Waukegan that one time. I also met the mayor there briefly.

Lindsey’s music flows through my veins, turning my blood to liquid gold and my emotions to light, freeing me from negativity.

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