#I think it would be funny they all got the worst first impression ever but still join the team

[eryanlainfa]

It's only fair Nuru gets to destroy their cart too as a first impression

[boytearscore]

i dare you to try. — chris sturniolo.

summary: you finally decided to join a car video with the triplets after years of them trying to convince you to, but when the topic “who’s more stubborn, you or chris?” is brought up, things take a peculiar turn in which chris is sure he can be the first guy you beg for, so you dare him to try.

warnings: fem!dom, chris!dom, smut, teasing, foreplay, swearing, choking, orgasm denial, size kink, bdsm.

taglist: @chericherrybaby, @fratbrochrisgf, @sturncakez <33

author’s note: so... funny story, girls... i got home from work last night and started writing but fell asleep with my phone on my face. hope you can forgive me, though. anyways, enjoyyy! xo 💋💋💋

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 (𝟸/𝟸)

friday night, 9pm. 

you smile excitedly as you are getting ready to a party at the triplets house, eyes and hands are focused on the eyeliner, red lipstick already highlighting the lips and a black short dress moulding your curves. on top of that, underneath it, you were wearing orange lingerie. chris favorite colour, was it a little petty? yes, but you’re not about to lose this dare. absolutely no fucking way.

when you finished recording the video with them, nick had the idea of throwing a party the next day, he wanted to see chaos between you and chris for his own entertainment and so did matt. chris, on the other hand, has already been sending you risky texts and some pictures of his covered hard dick and other parts of the body he knew you were attracted to with captions like “give up already.” and “can’t wait to hear you beg and moan my name.”

you ignored all of it just to give him the impression you were threatened and shy when in reality, there was a whole plan ready to be put in action since he opened his mouth.

finally, you’re done. everything looked impeccable: hair falling over your chest that was mostly exposed by the dress cleavage, a pair of black tights that were connected to the lingerie and black leather boots that went to your knees, not to mention you smell incredible.

after checking yourself one more time in the mirror, a smirk painted in your lips, chris was not ready for that. 

it was 10:30pm when you arrived at their house, loud music playing and people everywhere dancing, drinking and even throwing up.

you calmly go through the crowd of people when a pair of hands suddenly grab your hips pressing both bodies and you feel lips into your ear. the person didn’t even need to say anything, you could tell who it was by their scent.

“ready to be my little slut?” you feel the hot breath caressing your skin and the deep voice with a stupid cocky chuckle.

“not even in your dreams, christopher.” you reply, turning to him. matt and nick behind him laughing, that’s definitely the most fun they’ve been having in a while.

he smirks and you couldn’t stop yourself from eyeing his body, he has a black tank top that was complimenting his collar bones, shoulders and abdomen. 

and chris would notice you savouring him, but he was too busy staring at your boobs. his mind racing with the thoughts of cumming all over them.

“it feels like i’m watching a porn without the sex part, just the eyes.” matt says and you both break glances at each other laughing.

“is no one gonna grab me a drink?” you ask, rolling your eyes and nick give you a “excuse me?” look.

“you’ve been here more than our parents, go get it yourself.” he replies and you just shrug.

“fucking worst host ever.” you murmur making sure he heard before going to the kitchen and opening the fridge, all you could think of was chris.

he looked so hot wearing that damn black tank top, why didn’t you notice how attractive he was before the bet? it’s like a blindfold was taken away from your eyes, you imagined him on his knees, pleading and whimpering in front of you. things got even more interesting now.

you grab a drink and take a huge sip, ignoring the burning feeling in your throat and walking again through the people, some you knew, some not. you danced either way, a few guys eyeing you from afar and then one came behind you, dancing.

“you alone?” he whispered into your ear and you smiled, turning to him and grabbing his hands to dance.

“always.” he smiles back at you, rolling you around and grabbing your hips. you started dancing, he was cute and really hot.

that didn’t last much, though. 

someone abruptly grabbed your hand, making you look behind you with an angry expression. 

“today you’re not.” 

it was chris.

the guy just stared at chris and vanished away not wanting any trouble, you glance at the blue eyed boy, giving him the dirtiest look.

“what?” he shrugs, smiling. “i’m not sharing you with anyone today, whether you like it or not.”

you give him an eye roll but you’re not mad, it’s not like that guy was hotter than chris anyway.

“don’t ever grab my hand like that again.” you tell him with a serious face and he just nods, looking apologetic. “only if i allow you to.”

you get closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and rocking your body to the music. chris instantly smiles, his hands pressing hard on your hips. your fingers running to his hair, and you can’t help but push them back making him gasp.

“you’re such a menace.” he whispers, a hand sliding to your ass and turning you around.

you could feel everything, his hips crushing into yours and his dick getting harder everytime you brushed your ass while dancing. part of your plan was working and you didn’t even get started yet.

you turn to chris and place your hand around his neck, nails scratching it slightly causing him goosebumps.

he couldn’t resist the temptation, grasping your back and leaning in for a kiss, but you stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“not yet.” you smirk at him and he stares at you confused. “just shut your mouth and just follow me, or you won’t be having any fun tonight.” he thinks for a while and nods, not saying anything, the finger drawing a straight line down from his lips to his collar, dragging him upstairs.

when you both get to his room, he closes the door and throws you on the bed, getting on top of your body and pressing his torso against you.

you smirk, just watching him trying his best to be dominant, suddenly, his hand slid underneath your dress, touching slightly your inner thigh. you let out a small sigh, his hand was so warm and it felt so good.

“look at ya.” he mumbled into your ear, moving his hand closer to your pussy. “i’m not doing anything yet and you’re already gasping.”

you don’t say anything, just letting him play his game before yours starts. chris chuckles, amused by your unusual reaction, that motivated him to keep going.

his face close to yours, eyes staring at your lips before shutting them down and brushing both slightly against each other.

you wrap your arms around his neck, messing with his hair and he finally kisses you. not a gentle kiss, an obscene one. tongues fighting and wet sounds, chris can’t help but moan when he feels your nails digging on his back. 

his hand finally touches your pussy covered by the lingerie and you moan biting his bottom lip. he laughs, breaking the contact and looks at you, usually that would be the perfect moment for a cocky comment, but he couldn’t fight the urge to tear apart your black tights and pull the dress to your waist, revealing the orange lingerie.

he’s stunned by a second, moving away from your body to take a better look.

“you fucking bitch.” he says, grabbing your chin and bringing you close to his face agresseviely. “you did this on purpose, didn’t you? to tease me.” he asks while using the other hand to undress you completely. “you’re such a slut, ya know that?” he throws you again on the bed, an expression on his face you’ve never seen before.

you smile, opening your legs in front of him and looking beneath lashes, still not saying anything. too bad for chris, but you knew him more than himself. he loves to talk shit and act all nonchalant, but he hates when people don’t engage or ignore it.

chris frowned, staring between your legs and to drive him even more mad, you placed a hand on your inner thigh, slowly going up until it got to your pussy, your fingers teasing it over the lingerie and moaning and making faces while staring intensely at his eyes.

the boy is speechless, he never got so hard and never felt this urgent need to fuck someone before. the sound of your voice moaning and the way you touched yourself, he was mesmerised by everything.

“chris…” you finally use one of your cards, biting your lips and moaning his name.

he can’t hold himself anymore, chris takes off his shirt and pants, still wearing boxes and walks towards you, the smirk on his face vanished a long time ago, all you could see was pure lust.

“you’re driving me crazy by doing that.” he leans against you, using one knee to support himself over the bed, making sure to rub your wet pussy with it. “that’s a dangerous game, i’m warning you.”

you can’t help but laugh, lifting one leg up to reach his dick and rubbing it slowly, his lips parted into a loud moan, tilting his head to the back.

“it seems to me you’re the one about to beg, chris.” for the first time in minutes, you spoke. he immediately looks at you, not liking your comment one bit but feeling his dick twitch.

“that’s rich coming from someone who just moaned my name like a slut.” he replies, grabbing you leg and dragging you to him, now you are completely laid down on the bed, he bends over to reach your waist and slides your panties till your ankle.

“i’m keeping this.” he smirks and throws the orange lingerie on his nightstand. “alright, i’m gonna eat you out till you cum all over my face.” he gets on his knees, leaning closer to your dripping wet pussy. you could feel his breath hitting the sensitive area and that made you shiver. 

“thought you were gonna make me beg.” you say, watching every single move he makes. chris licks your clit without warning, causing loud moans from you. “fuck.”

he laughs, staring at you between your legs, hands spreading them as much as he can.

“no silly, i’m gonna make you beg me to fuck you.” he groaned, finally eating you out deliciously, his tongue alternating between flexing the muscles while inside you and letting it loose when sucking and licking all of it.

you grab his hair violently, pushing it hard while rolling your hips into his mouth. 

chris was getting harder by second, to the point his dick started to hurt a little. he was moaning and eating you out at the same time, the vibrations causing you an insane amount of pleasure.

“fuck, chris.” you whisper, biting your lips to hide how much you were enjoying it. no guy has ever eaten you out like that before.

so much so that you were about to cum into his mouth, your legs started shaking and the grip on his hair got tighter. he notices your body reactions and smirk, licking and sucking even more faster and intensely.

your moans get louder, you feel contractions through your whole body, soon releasing all the pleasure and cumming into chris mouth.

he licks everything, letting your pussy clean and gets on the bed, crawling on top of you. you smiled at him and he could sense something coming but decided to ignore, all he wanted was to hear the magic words from your pretty mouth.

“i bet i’m the first guy to make you cum that fast, huh?” he says finally being face to face with you, his hard covered dick brushing against your bare pussy and both arms on each side of your head, you were so close that you could feel his heartbeats pressed over your chest, he reach your neck, kissing and sucking on it making soft gasps come out of your lips. 

“beg me.” he murmured in your ear, one hand grabbing your boob and squeezing it hard. the pain felt so good, but you’re not about to lose. “beg me to fuck your little pussy.”

he stares at you, his hand going lower until it reaches your core, sliding one finger inside. your back curves, but you smile at him not showing signs of redemption.

and that’s when you decided it’s time.

with a quick move, you revert the positions, thanks to all the self defence classes you took a long time ago, getting a man off top of you wasn’t hard. 

chris was shocked, his eyes widened and his lips suddenly opened like he was about to say something but couldn’t.

“you’ve failed.” you tell him, smirking. both of his hands were on top of his head, held by yours. with an evil expression, you press your ass against his dick and he melts under you. “it’s my turn now.”

you go for his lips first, and even though his ego was bruised by the fact that you could easily turn the situation to your favour, he’s too horny to care.

both lips were crashing hard while tongues enlaced, the grip of your hand holding his writs got even tighter when he started to move them, the other one was slowly creeping to his abdomen, chris moaned and gasp onto your lips and when you finally reached his dick, removing his boxers to expose his hard cock.

and then something slaps your back, making you look behind.

“holy shit.” you opened your mouth, turning yourself completely to make sure you saw correctly. “you’re fucking huge, chris.”

he laughs, finding your reaction cute and sitting on the bed when you let his hands go.

“think you can take it?” he asks and you stare back at him, smiling.

“only if you beg me first.” you reply, grabbing his dick and teasing the tip of it with your finger, chris closes his eyes and moans a curse word. “c’mon..” you whisper, slowly pumping him and his back curves. “beg me.”

“please…” he murmured, avoiding your gaze.

you smirk, feeling your pussy dripping. he looked so fucking hot doing that. 

since chris was sitting, you easily extended your arm to his hair, pulling it hard to make him stare at you.

“say it again.” you order him spreading all the pre cum over the base of his dick and pulling harder his hair, chris was losing his mind at this point.

“please, let me fuck you.” he asks almost politely with his eyes glued on yours, his cheeks were a slight shade of pink and his red glossy lips parted, letting out shaken breaths. 

you don’t answer, just push his shoulders to the bed making him fall and lifting yourself up to get on top of him again, the gaze between both of you was so intense and sexual.

you positioned his cock on your entry, teasing him a little by rolling your hips and chris bite his lip, you didn’t wanted him to fuck you, you wanted to fuck him.

and so you did, sliding his dick slowly inside you with a frown expression and eyes closed.

“does it hurt?” he asks worriedly, grabbing your hips with both hands and fighting the urge to make you jump hard on him.

“yes.” you reply opening your eyes, starting to bounce at a slow pace. “that’s how i like it.”

you feel his dick twitch inside you with your comment, he slaps one of your ass cheeks hard, and you moan loudly.

“you like that, huh?” one more slap, this time harder. you were already bouncing crazy on his dick and both of you were moaning so much that if the loud music wasn’t playing downstairs, everyone would hear. and honestly, none of you cared.

“shit.” chris growns, digging his short nails on your waist. you leaned a little to wrap your finger around his throat and he closes his eyes, gasping. 

“so much for a dom.” you say with a shaky voice from the bouncing, tightening the grip around his neck.

he doesn’t say anything, his mind was fuzzy and raced. all he could do was moan and whimper loudly. 

the twitches got stronger and you could tell he was about to cum.

“gonna cum?” you ask him and he nods desperately, but then you stop moving. he looks at you, a mixture of annoyance and pleasure. “say you’re my little slut, chris.” you incline over, rolling your hips in slow motion and biting his bottom lip. “say it.”

he lets out a huge sigh with the painful feeling of holding an orgasm, his eyes locked into yours, a few hair strands falling over them and sweat dripping from his forehead.

“i’m your little slut.” he whispers, pressing his hands hard on your waist.

you smile at him, finally moving faster. chris feels the lack of oxygen with the combination of an insane amount of pleasure get to his head. he looks at you like he’s about to say something and you notice his hesitation.

“what?” 

“can i please cum on your boobs?” he avoids your gaze again and you feel like squeezing his cheeks, finally you nod. bouncing a couple more times and when he finally starts shaking, you get off of his lap, sitting on your knees.

chris gets up, he tries to grab his own dick, but you slap his hand.

“who the fuck said you could touch yourself?” you smirk, leading a hand wrap around his cock and begins to leisurely pump, chris tilts his head back, coming all over your boobs while you could capture every detail, his husky voice and his dick twitching uncontrollably while lots of cum shower your boobs, you made sure to get it all to your fingers and lick until there’s nothing left there.

slowly, his moans got quieter and he finishes cumming. he looks down at you, smiling and lending you a hand to get up, you smile back and grab his hand getting up.

“i fucking hate you.” he groans, pushing you closer to him by the hand and you laugh.

“that’s what someone who just lost a bet would say.” you reply and give him a little peck, he just rolls his eyes and laughs too.

“i’m doomed.” he slapped himself while you were putting back your dress, making you chuckle.

“don’t worry, my little slut.” you say calmly while putting back your boots. “you’re safe with me.” you say, giving him a wink and grabbing his tank top, throwing it at him. “you should use this more often though.”

chris squinted his eyes and a grin formed on his lips.

“will i fuck you everytime i wear this again?” he asks and you get up, turning to him.

“no, i’m the one who’s gonna fuck you.” 

when you both were properly dressed, chris opens the door so you two could go downstairs, but something was waiting for him right outside.

“i believe you have something to say, chris.” nick and matt were leaned against the wall, arms crossed and lips pressed trying hard not to laugh.

but you can’t control yourself, letting a loud laugh come out of your lips, making them unable to control themselves as well. the only one serious was chris, who rolled his eyes and stared at the three of you, sighing loudly.

“fine…” he groans and turn to you, at least he got the best fuck of his life, so he wasn’t that mad. “i was wrong.”

you, nick and matt burst out laughing again and chris holds in for a while, but soon enough he’s laughing too. 

[dira333]

Of Lovers and Friends - Ushijima x Reader

thank you @screamin-abt-haikyuu talking to you is inspiring

If you find a typo, I wrote this instead of going to bed. Goodnight.

“Just a Tonic Water, please,��� You order, well aware of all the eyes on you.

“Are you sick?” Kindaichi asks, already pressing a hand against your forehead.

“Pregnant?” Kunimi’s next, though less serious.

“As if, you can’t get pregnant from RPG,” Makki points out, licking foam off his lip.

“You would know,” you tell him, a little peeved, as you push Kindaichi away.

“I’m fine. I just have a date later.”

Yahabi whistles, clearly impressed. God, you need to amp up your game. This is just sad.

“Who is it?” Kyoutani asks, forever your best friend. Or at least the one guy who’s seemingly the least interested in teasing you.

“I don’t know, my Mom set us up. She went to school with his Mom or something like that. I just know that he plays Volleyball and is about my age.”

“Could be anyone,” Watari mumbles into his Aperol Spritz.

“Could be Ushijima,” Mattsun jokes, causing Makki to choke on his beer, spluttering as he bellows out a laugh.

“Can you imagine? That would be hilarious!”

“Har har har,” you thank the waitress for your drink and lean back in your chair, “Can we change the topic? Does Makki have a job yet?”

“Uncalled for!” Makki points an accusing finger at you. “And no. But a little birdy told me that Kyoutani’s got a fangirl.”

Kyoutani blushes, glaring into his drink. The girl must mean something to him if he’s trying to pull himself together like this. You swerve to look at Kindaichi who’s managed to spill his diet coke - again.

“What about you? Did you call that girl we met at the coffee shop?”

“No,” he ducks his head. “I didn’t. I was… I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.”

“Yeah, well, you did,” Makki lets his eyes wander as usual, “Tell you what. There’s a nice girl with her friends two tables over. We’ll get you her number but you have to call. Or at least send her some funny memes, okay?”

“Okay,” Kindaichi’s looking at you. Makki’s looking at you.

You groan and get up. “Next time you get someone else to get that number, okay? This is the last time.”

“Love you too, pumpkin!” Makki calls after you as you make your way over. These patterns have turned familiar.

-

You should have gotten a beer, you think two hours later as you wait, your legs twitching with anxiety. 

You’ve been painfully single for so long that you can’t help but feel you should have worn a dress or at least something more fancy than the jeans and top combo you’re sporting. But it’s comfy and it sets you at ease. And you’ve always been an advocate for being yourself on the first date. If they don’t like you like that, they won’t matter anyway.

So far that has brought you a lot of first dates and not a lot of second dates.

A deep voice calls out your name. You turn, your hands clutching the single purple carnation you had to bring - your mother’s idea. 

You spot the flower first, a tiny purple thing held in massive hands. He’s tall, impressively so. You let your eyes wander up as he walks over, the flickering street light casting long shadows over his face until he’s reached you and the soft warm glow of the restaurant behind you. 

Your heart skips a painful beat as he attempts a rather forced smile.

“Ushijima-kun,” you stutter, the confidence earned in twenty-something years shattered and replaced by the anxious brain of a teenager.

He offers you his hand, the one without the flower and you take it. His palm swallows yours, his grip warm and firm. If you can blend out the history your team has with his, that your friends have with him, you can give him a chance, right?

-

“Are you close with your mother?” He asks in the tense moment when the food’s already been ordered and the drinks aren’t served yet. It’s the worst possible question to ask, too, because no, you’re not close. Not since she went through with the divorce, unable to settle with a man ever since, as dissatisfied with them as she is with life, her business, you.

You don’t ramble often, but you do when you’re nervous. 

If he’s taken aback by the flood of words, of trauma seemingly long overcome, he does not show. He’s like a rock, sitting steadfast in the crashing river of your emotions, unmoving, sturdy.

When you’re finished, throat a little dry, he nods slowly. 

“My parents are divorced as well,” he says. You wonder if he’s told it often. 

“How was it for you?” You ask and the surprise in his eyes tells you that he hasn’t been asked this before. 

His tale is told more slowly. He hands out information bit by bit, always confirming that you’re still listening, still interested in what he has to say about this topic. You share a bottle of wine over his parent's divorce, the main dish just an accessory to the topic at hand. 

When his words run dry and the last drop of wine is poured into your glass, your mind a little fuzzy and his lips tinted a little blue, you are full and empty at the same time. All the anxiety has left you over dinner. 

Seijoh and your friends are far, far away but Ushijima - Wakatoshi, as he asks you to call him - is right there.

“Do you want to share dessert?” You ask and his eyes light up with a new emotion, one you haven’t seen before on him. It’s a little softer, makes him look a little younger, maybe.

“Do you like chocolate?” He asks, leaning forward a bit as if to share a secret.

“Who doesn’t?” You ask back and learn about his best friend.

-

“This was nice,” you say when he walks you to the train station, slowing his steps to be in tune with yours. The cold night air does wonders for your fuzzy brain but the chill is less pleasant. You shiver.

“Here.” A warm weight settles over your shoulders. His jacket drapes over your skin like it was made for this. It smells good, too. 

It’s not the first time you wonder if there will be a second date. But it’s the first time you really, really hope there is.

The train station appears much too soon. You want to prolong this evening, stay longer in this emotion that you cannot name. But you’re a realist at heart and you slip his jacket off before you become too used to its warmth.

“Keep it,” his large hand stops your movement, easily takes hold of yours. “You can give it back the next time.”

“Next time?” You ask, unable to keep that hopeful tone out of your voice. 

“I don’t have much free time,” Wakatoshi explains, “Could we meet again in a week? Same time, same place?”

You nod, much too eager to come off as nonchalant. It reminds you of Kindaichi, but you cannot bring yourself to care. You give him your number and feel your lips slip into a smile when he immediately texts you so that you have his as well.

Overhead your trains arrival is announced. You turn, still unwilling to part.

“Until Friday,” Wakatoshi says, one last wave. “Good night.”

- - -

You sleep well, better than you have in days.

It’s only when you wake up that you realize what this means.

You have a second date. The first in a long time. 

But as excited as you are for it, dread still settles in your stomach. How on earth will you explain this to your friends?

The answer is, you don’t.

When you meet up for beers and games on wednesday, Makki consolingly pats your shoulder. He seems to think your date went awful and you do nothing to correct him. You only feel a little guilty. It’s his fault for not even asking.

The others seem to already have forgotten. The news of Kindaichi getting a first date is more exciting and you let yourself get dragged into it, give him fashion advice - that goes ignored - and laugh with the others when Yahaba tries to fix his hair.

It’s only Friday afternoon that your nerves make themselves known.

Surely there’s nothing wrong in dressing similar again. Wakatoshi didn’t seem to mind and neither should you.

But you want to, you desperately want to… look a little better. You want him to look at you, unable to catch his breath, unable to form words, at least for a few seconds. Is that too much to ask for?

But you don’t own any Make-up, courtesy of rebelling against everything that makes you think of your mother. So you do the next best thing and call Mattsun.

“I’m not late,” he answers, immediately defensive. Right, you’re still on for drinks before the date. You can’t think about that now.

“I don’t care. Get your girlfriend on the phone, I need help.”

“What? Why?”

“Girls-stuff, you wouldn’t understand.” 

Miri agrees to join you for drinks. According to her she won’t need more than ten minutes in the bar bathroom to give you a little bit of an extra kick.

“You don’t want to look too different to what he’s seen the last time,” she reasons as you go over the few options of fancier clothes you have.

You're anxious the whole time, nurse one soda after the other. Even Kunimi notices.

“Second date?” Kyoutani asks. Makki’s eyes widen in surprise. You hate it.

“Maybe,” you grumble, getting up to pee once more. 

“What? You didn’t tell us the first one went well.”

“You didn’t ask,” you tell him as you make your escape to the bathroom. But this is Makki. He doesn’t let go of a topic.

“What’s his name?” He asks as soon as you’re back. “What team does he play for?”

“Let me get through this date first,” you huff, trying to sound more relaxed than you are. 

“He’s nice?” Kyoutani asks, able to put a threat and a question and a whole lot of worry in those few words. 

“Yeah,” you say, a little flustered just by the thought of him. The boys go silent around you. 

“Wow, you really like that guy,” Mattsun points out. 

“Shut up,” you grumble and empty your glass, calling for another. You don’t want to talk about it.

“Anyway,” Miri points out and you’ll forever be thankful for that, for her switching topics when you need it most, “Mattsun and I have decided to move together. We’re still debating about which apartment to move into, though.”

“Are you for real?” Makki’s always the first to put in his two cents, “Miri’s apartment is way better.”

Miri laughs. “Thank you Makki, I knew I could count on you.”

-

“There, done.” Miri steps away. You look at yourself in the mirror, the knots in your stomach slowly loosening. You don’t look like a clown, not like your mother either. 

“What did you do?” You ask, a little perplexed by how long your lashes suddenly are. 

“Mascara and some eyeliner. A little lipgloss too, you can reapply it when you’re at the restaurant.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime. If you want, we can go shopping for some of this stuff. You don’t need much and I can show you how to do the little things you might want to do sometimes.”

“Ah,” you look away, embarrassed, “Let me get through this date first.”

Miri smiles, understanding visible in her eyes. 

“Go get him, tiger,” she tells you when you part ways.

- - -

Wakatoshi is already waiting for you. 

Warmth pools in your stomach when he stills at your sight, his eyes warm as they wander over your face. 

“You look beautiful,” he tells you and you have to look away, too flustered to face him for a second.

“Am I not beautiful all the time?” You joke, hoping against hope that he does not notice the way your voice breaks slightly.

“Of course,” Wakatoshi tells you immediately, not an ounce of insincerity in his voice. You have to swallow twice before you’re able to talk again.

“You’re very pretty too,” your voice is doing funny things. You offer your hand to shake, a little unsure of what greeting is correct. He takes your hand in his, not to shake it, but to hold it all the way to the table and you’re unable to look anyone in the eyes until you’re seated, your insides a fluttery mess.

-

“Can I see you again?” Wakatoshi asks when you reach the train station, his jacket a comforting weight on your shoulders, your hand resting in his.

You nod, unable to hide your eagerness. 

You can’t blame the buzzing of your mind on alcohol this time. He’s calmly explained that he can’t drink often with his strict diet, has to choose between dessert or a glass of wine most of the time. It didn’t feel right to drink when he wasn’t allowed to.

Somehow your conversations feel deeper, more meaningful without the alcohol coating them. You know he means it when he asks and he knows you mean it when you nod.

Overhead, your train is announced. You don’t let go of his hand.

“I could do a little walk,” you say, “What do you say?”

You kiss his cheek when you eventually part. His skin is soft and warm underneath your lips. It follows you into your dreams.

-

On Wednesday you get a text just as you head out to meet the boys for beers and games.

“I’ve got out of practice earlier. Do you want to go for a walk?”

You go back inside, put on the lipgloss Miri had lent you as you text him your confirmation. You think about kissing him and wipe it off again, unsure of what you want. In the end you put it into your pocket just in case.

“Can’t come today, I have another date,” you text the group chat. 

Makki’s the first to answer, per usual, but his use of emojis has your anxiety rising so you put your phone on silent. You’ll deal with this on Friday.

It’s not yet time for the Sakura blossoms, but the park is beautiful anyway.

Not that you can focus on much besides the feeling of your hand in his, the way his voice rumbles in his chest as he talks about practice and his plans to meet up with his old teammates. 

You like this, the calmness of it all. You like him, with his serious expression and his direct way of asking. You like how he never fails to ask how your day has been, how he’s interested in all aspects of your work, even the little ones that no one seems to care about.

You like him, a lot. And if the way he looks at you is any indication, he likes you too. 

It’s when you’re on your way back, the setting sun bringing forth a chill, that someone calls your name.

You turn, your hand still firmly in Wakatoshi’s grasp, only to spot Kyoutani. He’s frozen on a near path and you know with certainty that he’s recognized your date. Your heart beats painfully in your throat and you feel sick.

“Everything okay?” Wakatoshi asks at the same time the girl next to Kyoutani pulls her massive scarf down to look at you. She looks familiar, blond hair, brown eyes, petite figure. It’s only when she opens her mouth to ask Kyoutani what’s going on that you recongize her. She’d been Karasuno’s volleyball manager. Yachi something.

Kyoutani seems to realize that you’ve recognized her because his face turns dark. He shakes his head at Yachi, points into the distance and leads her away. 

You’re still frozen next to Wakatoshi, realization washing over you like the cold floods of the  Tamagawa. 

“Is everything okay?” He asks again, cradling your face in his hands to make you look at him. You blink to clear your mind, wish you could just lean into his touch and disappear forever.

“You know what school I went to, right?”

“Aoba Johsai, yes. You were a manager for their volleyball team.”

“Yes,” He must have realized the truth already, still he asks you to say it out loud. “I’m still friends with the team, like you are with yours. They are not… They’re not fans of you.”

“I understand.” Wakatoshi nods. His hands slip away from your face, you miss them immediately.

You didn’t plan for it to go like this. He’s got an uncanny ability to make you open yourself up. Being vulnerable feels less scary when it’s him. 

He takes your hand again, guides you around the park for another round as you tell him all there is to know about your poor attempts at dating. How it sucks to be “just one of the boys” sometimes. How it hurts that they don’t even ask anymore if you’ve got a second date. How scary it is to admit to them that you’re dating him.

You bite your tongue after those last words. You’ve been on two dates so far, this is your third. Is it too forward to call this “dating”? What if he’s not-

“I understand if you want to keep this a secret for longer,” he says. His voice is heavy in a way that tells you that there’s more to it. 

Two things can be true at the same time. Understanding it won’t mean that he’ll appreciate it.

“I will… I will try and talk to them,” you promise. And you will. Even if you could keep this a secret, you won’t if it hurts him. And you can tell that it hurts.

-

You wish you could kiss him goodbye. But you can tell that he’s distanced himself, put up a wall to protect his heart. 

“On Wednesday we usually meet up to drink beer and play games,” you explain, wringing your hands, “They should all be there right now. Well, except Kyoutani. I will... I will go and talk to them right now.”

He nods. Your voice breaks a little when you ask. “Are we still- Are we still on for Friday?”

“Of course,” his deep voice soothes your anxious heart a little. You take a step forward and hug him, stiff and awkward, before you move back.

“I really like you, Wakatoshi,” you say before you can take it back, swallow it down, hide it from the world. 

“I like you too.”

- - -

Makki is already buzzed when he opens the door.

It’s probably not the best time to talk about things like this, but you want to get this over with. If you talk about it now, the dust will settle by Friday. Or so you hope.

There’s an iPad on the coffee table, Iwaizumi and Oikawa grinning back at you. You accept a beer, almost drop it with how jumpy you are, your legs unable to stay still.

“So, how was your date?” Makki asks, cutting off one of Oikawa’s rants.

“Good,” you say and take another sip of beer, “We met Kyoutani at the park.”

“Oh?” Mattsun looks up from his phone. “So you met the girl he fancies?”

“Maybe,” you shrug, unwilling to give up his secret. He’s got his one fears to face. 

“What you mean, dear Mattsun,” Makki teases, “Is that Kyoutani met her boyfriend.”

Oikawa gasps dramatically. “No way?! You got a boyfriend? Who is it!”

“Ushijima,” you say, ripping the bandaid off in one swoop.

Makki cackles, spurned on by Oikawa’s apparent confusion.

“Good one,” Mattsun jokes as Iwaizumi snorts. The younger players don’t think the joke’s that funny. It’s Kunimi who bothers you the most, his perceptive eyes locked onto your face.

“Guys,” he cuts through the laughter, “She’s serious.”

And it would have turned out better, you suppose, without the beer. Because Oikawa gets more petulant when drunk and Makki’s jokes are a bit less funny and a lot more mean when he’s buzzed. The younger guys don’t really know how to mediate. That has always been your job, or Iwaizumi’s. But the distance does not work in your favor.

You leave half an hour after you’ve arrived, angry tears streaming down your face. 

It’s always the people closest to you that hurt you the most. They know what parts of you are the most sensible, and which parts of you are still bruised, still in the process of healing.

You press your phone to your ear.

Wakatoshi picks up right away.

“I talked to them,” you press out. Your voice is doing funny things again and you swallow back another wave of tears, less motivated by anger and more by hurt.

“Do you want to come over?” He asks and you don’t hesitate to agree.

It hurts to fight, to possibly lose good friends over something as stupid as old rivalries, but Wakatoshi is good at soothing over it, with warm hands and the gentle rumble of his voice as he holds you close.

-

You don’t meet up with the boys on Friday. No one has bothered to invite you.

You watch Wakatoshi practice instead, laughing about Kageyama who pesters you about how to better his form - you’re a licensed sports therapist after all - and teasing Hoshiumi who fake gags every time you throw Wakatoshi a kiss. 

You move your date to Wakatoshi’s apartment, cook dinner together - it turns out pretty decent - and talk through the night. When you wake up in his arms on Saturday morning you know that you want this to go on, that you want this to be a relationship that lives instead of dies, one that strengthens over time.

- - -

You’re a little surprised to find Mattsun and Makki at your work. 

It’s Wednesday and they should be working too, well, at least Mattsun should.

“Iwaizumi called us every day,” Mattsun admits eventually, “Apparently we’ve been dicks.”

“Yeah,” you tell him bluntly, noticing that Makki’s still stubbornly staring out of the window. “You were.”

“Oikawa’s still pissed,” Mattsun admits next, taking a seat in front of your desk. “But he’ll get around. Kunimi pointed out that it was a blind date. You didn’t actively pick him.”

“Even if-” You start but Mattsun just shakes his head. “It’s Oikawa. Logic does not pull.”

“I’m only apologizing-” Makki interrupts, huffs, and continues, “I’ll only apologize if you do too.” He glares at you. Mattsun’s looking too, though his eyes are softer.

Finally, you nod and get up, offering your hand for Makki to shake.

“I’m sorry I made fun of you. It’s not your fault that you got fired.”

He huffs again. You know that sound. He sounds like that when he’s trying not to cry. And you suppose you can’t fault him for that. Friends just know where it hurts the most.

But he shakes your hand, his grip a bit firmer than it needs to be.

“I’m sorry that I called you an ugly bitch that has no game.”

Suddenly you can’t help but laugh. It flows freely, from deep within, has you bending over the desk as you cackle. They laugh along, softly first before it breaks out of them too.

“All good?” Makki asks when you eventually calm down.

“All good,” you agree, looking over at Mattsun. He shrugs. “Don’t look at me, I’ve always been good.”

“Sure,” you joke, “But just so you know, I’ll bring Wakatoshi along tonight.”

Makki rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll smoke him at Mario Kart.”

As it turns out, however, Wakatoshi smokes him.

Who knew he had it in him?

.

-.- Warsaw -.-

The front door closes with a soft click, alerting you.

“Shh!” You hiss at the boys before turning toward the door of the living room. 

“Hey honey, welcome home!”

“Hi,” Wakatoshi steps inside, spots the beer and your laptop screen and waves. “Beers and Games?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that important.” You get up to kiss him, ignoring Makki who’s trying to make a point of his importance. “You wanna go out to eat?”

“Can we stay in?” He asks, “There’s this new movie that Satori recommended.”

“Yeah, sure,” you nod. “Go shower. I’ll make some food.”

He smiles and leans in for another kiss, waving at the camera before he leaves for the bathroom.

“So he doesn’t know, huh?” Mattsun asks as you pick up your laptop and carry it to the kitchen.

“No, I want to tell him tonight. Thanks for not spoiling it guys.”

“Anytime,” Kindaichi pipes in. You bet he’s got no clue what you’re talking about. “What are you making?”

“Golabki,” you answer, “Cabbage roles. I’ve been obsessed with these lately.” 

You catch up while you cook, eager to hear more about Kindaichi’s budding relationship or Makki’s latest work adventure. Even Kyoutani contributes a lot today, proudly talking about how Yachi has won a prize for one of her designs.

At some point Wakatoshi appears, leaning into you as you work. He likes to be in the way when you facetime the team, thinks it’s funny that Makki has named him “the Log” or that he’s always blocking the drawer you need to get to the most.

“Move,” you tell him, pulling at his thighs. Behind him’s the cutlery you need to set the table.

“There’s a price for that,” he tells you quietly. You roll your eyes and move to kiss him. He shuffles slightly to the side, now blocking the cabinet that hides the plates.

-

It’s only after dinner, your laptop put away, the dishes done, that you find yourself back on the Couch, cuddled into him.

“Wakatoshi,” you address him, your hands shoved under his shirt. His eyes have closed but he’s still awake, you can tell by his breathing.

“Hmm?”

“Remember how we were talking about what we wanted to do on your next break?”

“Yes?” He opens one eye to squint at you. “Do you still want to go back to Japan?”

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you confess, “But we talked it through. It’s not feasible and I’ve got a better idea.”

That has him opening both his eyes. He can sense that something’s coming and you nestle further into him. 

You like to surprise him, for sure. You love how quiet he gets when you do something special for him, almost unsure if he deserves it. If this is really just for him. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered by your feelings for him once in a while.

“I got us tickets to Paris,” you tell him quietly. “Tendō already knows.”

When he pulls you close he doesn’t have to say anything. You already know.

He misses his best friend just as much as you miss yours.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.O.D Quotes, since AO3 is down✦

Gaz: I wanna know what exactly your type is. Y/N: I'm not just gonna give you more fodder to throw at me- Gaz: I have an idea of it already, but I want details! Y/N: No! Gaz: Like- König! Would you- Y/N: Of fuckin’ course I wanna fuck König! He’s huge, he could LITERALLY snap me in half and my dad didn’t love me, of course I want him to fuck me! Soap: *does that weird inhale-choke-cough*

— (Dick mention + a woman’s experience of a dude making gross comments. It’s funny I swear-) Fem!medic!Y/N: most of the time, people are pretty nice and sometimes impressed when when I bring up I’m a medical professional. Other times…eh.. Soap: Eh? Y/N: Sometimes you get conspiracy theorists. Soap: Ohhhh… Y/N: Some evangelists, gross dudes. Gaz: Gross dudes? What’s the worst you’ve heard? Ghost, sipping a whiskey: This outta be good. Y/N: Uh, once I told this man hitting on me I was a field doctor? He said, and I quote. “Been awhile since my last check up, mind checking me for ball cancer.” And I- Gaz: WHAT Soap: YOU’RE KIDDING Y/N: I am not. I just- I walked away. Price: Fuckin’ hell. Y/N: It’s fine. He got shot in the dick next mission, ended up with a male doctor. Ghost: Karma at its best.

- Graves: Oh FUCK YOU Y/N: Tsk, oooo…you don’t have enough money for that. Soap: HAHA!

- Soap, drunk: Back Street’s back, alright! Do do do do- Gaz, drunk on Price’ shoulders: Dodooodo- Price: Simon, get your boy. Ghost: *picking Soap up by his belt, carrying him like a bag* Yes sir.

- Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls? Gaz: Whoa hey!- Y/N: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue? Recruit: I- Y/N: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down, get a hint. Word of advice? Rather than shoot for the stars, maybe shoot your shot in your lower bracket, yeah? Recruit: Gaz: Someone get a fire extinguisher, this dudes been burned. Soap: On it. *sprays recruit with fire extinguisher*

- Soap: Nice onesie, does it come in men’s? Gaz, in his pyjamas: I think you cum enough in men for the all of us. Soap: ACK- Ghost: *slides out of the room*

- Ghost: Have you ever considered, just once, using your brain first? Soap: Now why would I do that?

- (Insert random name I HC for Laswell’s wife) Kate, after being in a bad explosion and ending up in this hospital: My wife, she’ll get upset if she sees you rubbing me like that on my chest. Diana: I am your wife. Kate …. Diana: :) Heart rate monitor: BEEPBEEPBEEPBE- Kate Hi. Diana: Hehe, hi. Gaz, in the corner: Oh to be in love. Soap: This is disgusting, why can’t I have this? >:,( Gaz: Cause your type in men is awful. Soap: Hey!

- Y/N: *walks into common room* Hello, I am very upset. I feel a meltdown coming on and you are all buff men, so I would like to request being picked up and held like a baby for a short period of time, please. Soap: Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? Y/N: Nope. König: ….*slowly approaches and picks Y/N up from under their arms* Y/N, clinging to him like a koala and hiding in his shoulder: Thank you, I appreciate you. König: *awkward back pat*

- König: :) Y/N: Bloopbloopbloopbloop- Horagi: Y/N! Y/N: What? Horagi: Tha-That is our colo-that is a dangerous man! Y/N: He’s not a dangerous man! Horagi: What are y- Y/N: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloop- König: -w-

- Price: Kid, I need you to- Gaz & Y/N: *dancing like they don’t have jobs to do* Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: That’s what’s up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: I’m in love! Price: AHEM Gaz: Oh shit- Y/N: HEEEYY captaaaaiinn, what’s uuupp ahaha… Price: *sigh*

- (Based on; Me if COD was real. Deadass. Full serious. I am not kidding) Gaz: So have you met the Captain yet? Y/N: No. Gaz: Are you nervous? Y/N: No no, I have a firm belief that they’re just people. Obviously I’ll respect him as a superior but that’s nnnnnnnnwho the hell is that? Y/N: *fucking breaking their neck* Gaz: Oh- Nope. No no, THAT is Captain. Don’t think about it. Y/N: I’m thinking about it. Gaz: That’s not allowed. Y/N: Ive done worse for less, if he asks I’m sucking it, you can’t stop me. Gaz: Jesus Bloody Christ- Y/N: Tell him to call me when he’s on leave. Gaz: Stop-

- König: *walks in* Ghost: ?? Soap: Oh, hey! Gaz: Y’a need somethi- König: *picks up Y/N under his arm while humming, leaving the room* König: I love stealing, I love taking things!~ Ghost: What the f-

- Colonel!König: I’m 42 so, I don’t- Y/N: YOU’RE 42?! Colonel!König: Yeah. Y/N: …it’s okay no one has to know babygirl~ König: NEIN! Nein, don’t call me babygirl!-

- (Based on this awful Gaz outfit I saw on Twitter) MILF!Y/N: *doing paperwork* Gaz: Would you date me? Y/N: Baby we couldn’t even get a drink together. You can’t buy me nothin. Gaz: What do you mean? :( Y/N: Look at your outfit! What are you wearing? Gaz: I think I look pretty fly. Y/N: For who, your mom? Gaz: :((

- Gaz: STOP DATING MY CAPTAIN Y/N: ….you know what, I’m gonna start dating him even harder. Gaz: What’s that supposed to mean? Y/N: You know what it means.

- MILF!Y/N: *shoving apple juice into a cart* They gon’ need nutrition. Laswell: How many kids do you have? MILF!Y/N: Eleven! Laswell: So I’m assuming your kids really like apple juice? MILF!Y/N: No but they looove orange juice but they’ve been bad this week. Laswell: What grade are your kids in? MILF!Y/N: Sixteenth grade. Laswell: PFFT Sixteenth- that’s not even a grade! So your kids graduated college? MILF!Y/N: No they, they- …where are my kids?

- (Her “kids” on the other side of the store) Price: Boys please- Gaz: I AM NOT LOSING! Soap, in a fuckin’ headlock with him: Yes you fuckin’ are!! Ghost: *slipping cookies under his mask, he did not pay for them* König: *looking for a fruity snack* Horagi: *grabbing as many packs of spicy chips as he can* Alejandro: This is a disgrace. *holding up frozen burritos* Rudy: These are worse. *motions to frozen tamales* Alex: Did you know you can use coke as rust remover? Farah: …and you want to drink it??

- Y/N: So. Kyle. Gaz, already afraid: …yes? Y/N: I found some of your old playlists… Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: You an emo? Gaz: I was a SCENE as a teenager, get it right.

[chukys-mouthguard]

A Shot at Love: Welcome to the Mansion

5.65 words

meet the 12 eligible bachelors

It’s time, for the premier of ‘A Shot at Love: An NHL Dating Show AU’ ! The 12 lucky bachelors arrive at the mansion to meet our lovely bachelorette Y/N!

Who will impress? Who will receive the coveted first rose? It’s all up to the viewers in this one of a kind interactive au series!

Voting is only open for 24 hours, so be sure to cast your vote for who should get the first rose!

note: if you want to be added to the tag list for this series, please comment or send me an ask! :)

A deep sigh left your lips as you looked yourself over once more in the mirror, palms smoothing over your dress before nervously messing with your hair.

In just a few minutes you’d be introduced to twelve NHL players that were going to be competing for a chance at forever with you. The idea was one you sure would never come to fruition when first pitched to you, and when you found out the players of the league would be voting for the twelve eligible bachelors, you were surely convinced the concept would die.

But as the twelve players were determined and had all accepted their spots on the show, you were realizing this funny concept had turned into your reality.

“Y/n, are you ready to get this show started?”

The voice of Paul Bissonnette interrupting your thoughts as you turned to find him and Ryan Whitney, the hosts of the show, both waiting patiently for you before heading out to the front of the mansion to welcome the mystery men.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

A soft chuckle left your lips as you could feel your palms growing sweatier as you headed for the door. The limo transporting the men now visible in the distance as it drove down the long winding driveway.

“Pink Whitney to calm your nerves?”

Ryan pulled 3 mini bottles of the pink lemonade flavored vodka from his suit pocket, Biz quickly taking one and cracking it open.

“Are you guys gonna constantly plug your vodka during this show?”

“You bet your ass we are!”

Biz and Whit tapped their bottles together before throwing them back, you rolling your eyes before joining them in taking the shot.

“Alright, we are gonna go give the boys a warm welcome, then it’ll be show time!”

Nodding your head you watched as the two hosts headed down to meet the limousine, each of them climbing inside to welcome the mystery men. Your nerves at a high as you tried to imagine who would’ve actually accepted a spot on this show, quickly running through every team in the league trying to picture who would come out of the limo. Surely no stars were putting themselves on a dating show, your expectations assuming them to be lesser known guys who maybe didn’t have some superstar image to uphold.

“Holy shit Whit, look at these fucking beauties we got in here!”

Whit quickly smacked his co-host as the group seated around the limo laughed. “Biz watch the mouth! This is national television, you’re gonna get us fired before we even make it to the rose ceremony.”

Biz covered his mouth in embarrassment before mouthing an I’m sorry to the camera.

“Alright boys, so you’re all here because the players voted you all as the worst in the league when it comes to dating and the ladies. So congratulations!”

The limo erupted in laugher and some half hearted cheers. “Y/n’s waiting for you all. She’s a little nervous, but excited. And she’s a drop dead smoke show, so it’s you all who should be nervous!”

Biz went to climb from the limo, time for the grand reveal, but Whit stopped him. “Biz, I think they all could use a little liquid courage don’t you think?”

Whit pulled a bag full of Pink Whitney bottles seemingly from out of nowhere, tossing one to each of the men. “This portion of the show is sponsored by Pink Whitney, the official drink of ‘A Shot at Love.’ Cheers boys!”

As you headed to the bottom of the staircase out front of the mansion, hearing the boys all saying cheers with their shots in the limo, you rolled your eyes.

“Those two are seriously gonna plug that drink every chance they get.”

Biz and Whit reappeared and headed your way, signaling that it was finally time to meet the men that would be competing for a shot at love with you. Your mind racing as you wondered what their opinions of you would be. Would they like you? Would they think you were attractive? Certainly being professional athletes they’ve had plenty of women throwing themselves at them.

“Y/n, it’s time. Should we bring out the first gentleman?”

A simple nod was all you could muster as you patiently waited for the door of the limo to open and Biz or Whit to call their name, wondering who you might see emerging from behind it.

“From the New Jersey Devils…Nico Hischier.”

Nico stepped out of the limo, his smile immediately settling your nerves. A hand running through his hair to ensure it sat perfectly as he buttoned his suit jacket before he walked towards you.

If this was how the night would start, you couldn’t imagine who else was hiding in the limo.

Your heart racing as Nico now stood in front of you, politely taking your hand and kissing it. A true gentleman.

“Hi y/n, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi Nico, likewise, even though I had no clue you would be here.”

The blush on your cheeks had to be visible at this point as you couldn’t stop smiling. His accent sounded like music to your ears as he spoke.

“Though I have no clue what to expect out of this experience, I’m excited to get to know you,and for you to get to know me. At the end of this hopefully we are jetting off to Switzerland together.”

“I mean that would definitely be a pretty great ending in my eyes!”

“Well we could leave now? Screw this show?”

Nico playfully pulled your hand to run, but stopped as he laughed, making you melt right there.

“I don’t wanna take up more of your time, I’ll let you meet the rest of the guys. But I promise they won’t be as great as me.”

Nico shot you a wink before heading up the stairs and into the mansion, your smile now permanently on your face.

“So? What did you think of that fine piece of Swiss chocolate?”

A cackle left your mouth at Biz’s drunken commentary, shaking your head as Whit moved to knock on the door of limo to signal the next man to reveal himself.

“You guys are drunk and we’ve only met one guy, oh my lord.”

You were surely in for a wild night, and this was only the beginning.

“From the Philadelphia Flyers, Jamie Drysdale.”

“Hi y/n, it’s nice to meet you. You, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you Jamie, it’s lovely to meet you. How’s your shoulder doing?”

Jamie was shocked at your question, surely he didn’t expect you to be familiar enough with him to know he’d injured the same shoulder two seasons in a row. Laughing a bit as he playfully rubbed it.

“It’s good, better than ever. I’ll never turn down a good shoulder rub though.”

“Maybe if you’re lucky we can do that later for your one on one time?”

“Sounds like a plan to me, I’ll head inside and find a good spot for a massage.”

Jamie flashed a smile before heading inside, Biz looking towards the car to see who was next. A soft chuckle leaving his lips as he gave you a thumbs up, as if to say it’s a good one.

“From the New York Rangers, Matt Rempe.”

Your eyes went wide as the Rangers rookie emerged from the limo. You’d seen him on tv and knew he was tall, but seeing him in person made that crystal clear.

“Hi.”

A soft chuckle leaving your lips as you could sense his nerves and the awkwardness emanating from him.

“Hi, um, I’m sure you get this all the time but, you’re even taller in person.”

“Yeah, I hear that sometimes. Does that mean you’ve watched me on tv?”

“I might have a few times, but don’t think that’s gonna give you any type of advantage here!”

He smiled wide as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just happy to be a part of this with a pretty girl like you, I’m not expecting any special treatment.”

“As long as you don’t start any fights here okay?”

He shot you a devilish grin as he headed up the stairs.

“No promises.”

“Hey, how many shots have you boys had over there?”

You shouted across the drive, noticing the two men getting the giggles. Most likely laughing at something stupid, telling you they were well on their way to being drunk.

“We might as well have just brought a whole bottle out here. These mini bottles aren’t cutting it.”

Shaking your head you smoothed your hands over the front of your dress, readying yourself for the next mystery man to emerge.

“You guys aren’t gonna make it to reveal number six at this rate.”

“From the Seattle Kraken, Vince Dunn.”

The moment Vince stepped out of the limo he’d immediately caught your eye, noticing his style differing from the first few guys. No suit for Vince as he wore a short sleeve shirt that was tastefully showing off the outline of his chest and arm muscles thanks to it being a little on the tighter side. Pairing that with some solid colored chino pants, and some slip on vans.

“Am I a little underdressed or something?”

He playfully joked as he walked up to you, giving you a hug before taking the time to look you up and down. A smile on his face as he held your hand.

“If this is your style, then never worry about being underdressed. I think you look great!”

“Suits are great and all, but my mind is always focused on when I can just throw on my sweats and be comfy.”

“Trust me I’ve been thinking about that the entire time I’ve been standing here, I especially can’t wait for the moment I can take my bra off.”

You and Vince laughed as he made his way towards the staircase to head inside and join the growing group.

“Oh me too, taking my bra off is the best part of my day for sure!”

“From the Vegas Golden Knights, I fucking love this kid-“

“Biz watch the goddamn mouth!”

“Oh fu-I mean, fudge. Jacky Eichs!”

Jack emerged from the limo laughing at the two drunk hosts, both of them giving him a little cheer as he made his way to you, giving you a hug before he introduced himself.

“Hi y/n, I’m Jack. And if we are gonna be together at the end of this, I think it’s important I be honest with you right from the start.”

“Okay, I love honesty.”

He sighed, as if to suggest it was something tough for him to say, making you nervous as this was only night one and you weren’t expecting any drama this soon.

“My, my real name isn’t Jack, it’s John. Woo, that feels good to get off my chest!”

Rolling your eyes you let out a sigh of relief, playfully smacking him on the chest as he laughed. “I thought you were gonna say something off the wall crazy Jack, I mean, John?”

“You can call me Jack, I just didn’t want any secrets on day one, big or small you know?”

He headed up the stairs as Biz and Whit are still shocked they never knew his real name was John, chirping him until he’d finally shut the door to the house behind him.

“Fuc-fudge me Biz what are we on six now? I mean I can’t even see who is coming out of the limos anymore.”

“God forbid you say the wrong name Whit, better put on the glasses for the next one.”

“From the New York Islanders, Mat Barzal.”

If your heart could stop beating, but somehow you’d still be standing and breathing, it had just happened. The minute he’d stepped from the limo you were confused as to how he’d ended up here. Mat was one of the hottest guys in the league, but he did have a bit of a reputation. So how they got him to agree to something as crazy as this, you’d never know.

“Y/n, nice to meet you, I’m Mat.”

“I know, I’ve seen you on tv once or twice, so I know a thing or two.”

“Uh oh, good things or bad things?”

His smirk shot you right through the heart and you could barely focus on speaking. Aspiring how good he looked in his dress pants as loose fitting button up, following Vince in the more casual style of dress.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and find out?”

He shot you a wink before heading inside, your heart rate not slowing down as you urged Biz to hurry up with the next man.

“From the Anaheim Ducks, Gouda!”

“Huh?”

You looked at the two hosts confused as Whit shook his head at Biz, taking the Pink Whitney bottle from his hands as he quickly corrected his partner.

“Jesus Christ, please ignore his drunk ass for the rest of the night, it’s Trevor Zegras.”

The smiley boy emerged from the limo, running a hand through his hair as he approached you. Wrapping you in a tight hug as he seemed to exude confidence.

“Hi y/n, so nice to meet you.”

“You as well, is it Trevor or Gouda?”

He threw his head back laughing as he shrugged. “Whatever you wanna call me, I’m here for it. Trevor, Gouda, maybe your boyfriend by the time things are done here. I’m fine with any of those options!”

“Confident, okay, I like it . Well, I’ll stick with Trevor for right now, don’t wanna get ahead of ourselves.”

Shooting him a wink you bid him farewell as the next man was already emerging from the limo.

“From the Vancouver Canucks, Quinn Hughes.”

To say you were shocked was an understatement. Quinn was known to you as a bit more reserved, often quiet. And quite frankly, he was the last person you expected to be on a dating show.

“You seem a bit surprised, were you expecting Jack to come out of that limo?”

He shyly laughed as he gave you a hug. Quickly shaking your head you tried to erase any thoughts from his mind that you weren’t thrilled to see him.

“No no! Not at all, you just don’t strike me as the dating show type.”

“Well I guess there’s a lot you need to learn about me. For one, reality dating shows are actually a guilty pleasure of mine. And two, maybe I’m not afraid to admit that t I might need some help in the dating department. So here I am.”

“I guess you could say I need some help too and that’s why I’m standing here. But I’m very happy that you’re here too Quinn!”

“How many more guys are there holy shi-shoot?”

Biz headed to the limo, peeking his head inside to count the remaining guys.

“Can we speed run these last guys? Like oh my gosh.”

“Imagine standing on cobblestone in heels this whole time Biz!”

“Exactly! Speed round, hello?? Whit, help me out here!” Whit shook his head as he continued with the script, not wanting to add to the list of reasons he and Biz would be on the chopping block after this episode airs. Most of those reasons being the accidental f bombs and high alcohol content.

“From the Toronto Maple Leafs, Auston Matthews.”

If you had to rank the players you were most familiar with, Auston would have been towards the top of the list. Though you knew of him for the fact that Toronto wasn’t known for doing too hot in the playoffs the last few years, though you’d never say that to him.

“Hey y/n, how are you?”

He wrapped you in a hug with a smile plastered in his face, unsure if it was him or the Pink Whitney shots that had you blushing.

“Hi Auston, nice to meet you. Loving the outfit, different from the other guys. Which is good, helps you stand out for sure.”

He playfully showed off his outfit, which was more street style than formal attire. But it was true to Auston, which you appreciated him taking the chance to just be himself and show that.

“Figured it was best to show up true to me. Glad you like it. I’m hoping that here I can bring home the win, unlike my track record on the ice.”

“Viewers, he said it, not me!”

You pointed to the camera, staring it down playfully as you laughed, Auston backing you up that it was his words and not yours.

“God bless, final 3 boys, then we’re done.”

“Biz they still have the opportunity for some one on one time, we aren’t done after this.”

“Jesus….pass me another shot.”

“From the Montreal Canadiens, Cole Caufield.”

The smile on Cole’s face never left from the time he exited the limo to when he hugged you. Kindly greeting you as he introduced himself.

“Y/n, ask him what his nickname is.”

Cole immediately shook his head at Biz butting into the meeting, “we really don’t need to do that. Maybe we can reveal that if I make it past tonight.”

Despite Cole’s pleading to ignore Biz, you couldn’t help but be intrigued. “Is it really that bad?”

Cole sighed as he rubbed his neck, debating on whether or not he wanted to tell you. “I’d rather leave you guessing for now, it’s not bad, just, not television appropriate let’s say.”

Your eyes went wide as your mind raced as to what the nickname could be, but letting it slide as you could sense Cole’s nervousness.

“Maybe later you can tell me without these two hanging around.”

Cole smiled as he headed inside, hearing him mumble “fuck I need a shot after that” on his way up the stairs, making you chuckle to yourself.

“I don’t know who let this kid in because he’s not even old enough to drink Pink Whitney, the official sponsor of ‘A Shot at Love’. But he’s here so I guess we just have to deal with it. Get this boy an apple juice, from the New Jersey Devils, Luke Hughes.”

The idea of 2 Hughes brothers’ being included in this show was not one that crossed your mind, but if it had, Luke would definitely have not been the other brother you expected to see step out of that limo.

He shyly made his way over, a soft smile on his face as he hugged you. You couldn’t help but smile, trying your best to make him feel less nervous or anxious.

“Hi Luke, very nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’m sure you weren’t expecting this to become Hughes’ bowl, minus Jack of course. But he’s not that great anyways, so you’re not missing much.”

The two of you laughed at his brotherly jabs, appreciating how he’d seemed to relax a bit once he made you laugh.

“Well things definitely just got interesting with 2 Hughes’ brothers in the house, I’d say cheers to the idea of you both making it to the end, but the boys said you’re not 21.”

Like shrugged off the comment, not paying much attention to that fact. “Trust me, it’ll come in handy for me when all these other guys are hungover trying to compete in some sort of physical challenge!”

You were thankful that you’d reached the last guy to appear from the limo, desperately needing to not be standing on cobblestone in your heels.

“And finally, thank the lord, from the Utah Hockey Club. That’s so fucking weird to say oh my god, John Marino.”

John appeared from the limo, laughing at Whit’s comments on his new team, and if you were honest you’d not paid much attention to him prior to him being traded. But as he walked over to you, with a smile on his face as he ran a hand through his loose curls, you were mad for not paying attention sooner.

“Hey y/n, how are you?”

“I’m good, feet hurt a little from standing for so long, but I’m surviving. What about you? Last guy having to sit in that limo all night.”

John shrugged it off, “it was worth my butt falling asleep 4 times if it meant I got to walk out here and see you.”

Playfully holding a hand to your forehead as you pretended to become faint, John laughed.

“Well it’s true! You look beautiful, and I’d wait in the car for another 4 hours if I had to. But, I’ll wrap this up so we can get inside and you can get your feet off this cobblestone. Lovely to meet you, and I’ll see you in there.”

John pulled you in for a hug before heading up the stairs, Biz and Whit joining you as the three of you followed suit. Ready to welcome all of the guys as a group.

As you headed inside, the competition was now seeming like it was going to be more difficult than you’d imagined. Thinking of all of the guys that were inside waiting. All of the handsome, funny, talented athletes, full of personality. How the hell were you going to eliminate any of them tonight?

Entering the room the men had all been waiting in, you took a deep breath. Facing them all together made you nervous as they surely had been sizing each other up from the moment they’d all settled in. All of them smiling once they saw you walk in, a few whistles and cheers coming from the group while you found your place in front of them.

“Okay, well, we’ve made it this far! I can’t speak for Biz and Whit because I think they are one shot away from passing out on us. But, I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of this crazy journey. I find it hard to believe that the twelve of you would voluntarily put yourself through something like this, for me. And for a shot at love. I’m so excited to learn about each of you for who you are off the ice, because that comes first to me. I’m not paying attention to who in this group scores the most goals, who plays on the best team. I’m here looking to find my person, and I’m excited to know that one of you will be that guy.”

The guys cheered as your lovely hosts were passing around more Pink Whitney shots, as if they’d hadn’t had enough tonight already.

“Can you two even handle another shot?”

“Are you kidding? Pink Whitney is the official sponsor of ‘A Shot at Love’, and the best pink lemonade flavored vodka on the market. Of course we can handle another shot! Plus, we made the damn thing!”

Rolling your eyes you accepted the shot from Biz, the group holding their shots up as you proposed a toast.

“Well, I can guarantee with hosts like these there will never be a dull moment around here. Cheers to ’A Shot at Love’! Sorry Luke…promise we will get you something non-alcoholic for next week so you can still feel included.”

Everyone tossed back their shots, then placed the empty bottles on the table. Immediately the competition had begun as it was a race to who was going to ask you for some time alone first.

Jack Eichel appeared at your side, taking your hand as he asked if the two of you could talk, the other guys immediately groaning at his eagerness to steal you away.

The two of you found a spot in one of the side rooms, taking a seat on the sofa with a sigh as Jack laughed.

“Tough night so far?”

Shaking your head, you smiled as you weren’t trying to come across tired or anything with the night so far. “No no, just, nice to sit down! Heels on cobblestone do not mix.”

“Well if beauty is pain, you must be in agony because you look gorgeous tonight.”

Blushing at his words you couldn’t help but smile, softly biting at your lip the way the compliment just effortlessly rolled off his tongue.

“You’re a pretty smooth talker Mr. Eichel. How’s the night been for you? Probably weird seeing all these guys under one rough and you’re all competing in a different way than usual.”

He nodded his head as he chuckled, “you could definitely say that. It’s weird seeing some of the guys, only because they seem a bit out of place in my opinion. Like I know we were voted here by guys in the league, but some of these guys, I mean Luke Hughes? He’s 20, how much dating experience does that kid have? I just think it’s a little unfair to him that he found himself thrown into this you know?”

Nodding your head you were unsure what Jack’s intentions were with this conversation. It seems odd that he’d take his first opportunity to chat with you to talk about who he believes should and shouldn’t be in the house.

“Well, hey, he’s here right? So, either he will make the best of it and find love for himself. Or he won’t. But, I think that’s for him to worry about Jack, not you, you know?”

The conversation with Jack continued on, thankfully moving away from the focus on what guys were voted in the house, but soon enough you’d be interrupted by another man trying to steal your attention.

“Knock knock, times up Eichs.”

Jack looked over his shoulder to see Auston and he reluctantly got up, playfully whining that time went by too quick. Bidding you goodbye as he exited and allowed Auston to take a seat next to you.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

You could feel your smile had doubled in size from the moment Auston walked in. Something about him just gave you butterflies, and you almost felt embarrassed for how excited you were to see him.

“How are you?”

He took your hand in his as he watched you attentively, waiting for your response as you laughed. “I mean, it probably sounds wrong to say, but I’ve got 12 pretty amazing guys all in one house because they want to date me. That’s a pretty nice feeling I’d say?”

Auston laughed with you as he sipped his drink, nodding in agreement.

“I mean, I think we’d all be crazy not to be here, and any one of us would be lucky to walk away with you after this.”

Though all the guys had made a point to say that, you could hear the sincerity in Austin’s voice, he meant it.

“I guess I just wonder how some of you ended up here, or why. I feel like you all should be in relationships and unavailable, how do some of the league's best stars get voted here by their peers?”

He shrugged as he sighed, “because that’s just it, we’re stars, so we should have a girl on our arm. And there’s countless girls we could have on our arms. But, they aren’t there for the right reasons, because of who we are. I can’t speak for any of those guys, so I’m simply speaking for myself. I’m not here for a check, some screen time to promote myself, I’m here because I genuinely think you could be the girl I’ve been missing.”

You felt your heart practically melt at his words, something you’d only ever dreamed of hearing someone say to you.

“I can’t tell you how amazing that makes me feel, hearing you say that. Truly.”

He held your hand tighter as he could see you trying not to get emotional.

“I’ve been through my fair share of rough relationships, being used or played by guys. And, it’s not fun. Thinking you’ve found someone that loves you for you, and it turns out to just be a game to them. But I can hear in your voice how sincere you are, and you mean what you say. And that really just warms my heart. So thank you.”

“Well I’m happy to be the one to say those words to you. And I hope you really do trust me when I say, you’re going to find someone here. Whether it’s me, which I hope it is, or another one of these guys, you’ll find your person. I promise you that.”

Conversations continued throughout the night, some more awkward than others. Particularly with the younger guys like Matt Rempe and Luke Hughes. Both of them taking awhile to open up, but as soon as they did another guy was coming to take their place.

Jamie made a point to ask if you were serious about his shoulder massage, to which you told him if he won the date with you next week you’d promise to give him one.

Trevor and Cole were probably the most talkative out of any of the guys, both full of energy and constantly cracking jokes. Which you appreciated since you knew you needed to find a guy that could make you laugh, that was non-negotiable.

You were sure that Nico was thankful when Quinn came to interrupt the two of you. You’d been talking Nico’s ear off asking him about Switzerland, his taste in music, anything you could think of to get to know him better in the short amount of time. But little did you know he found it adorable, loving how sincerely interested you were in learning about where he’s from, and his interests. He wished he didn’t have to let anyone else have their time with you because he could’ve talked for hours.

Quinn noticed you were a bit talked out when he walked in, but he didn’t mind. Taking the league in telling you about himself, making a point to talk about his love for his family and how important they were to him. He expressed that his past relationship struggles weren’t exactly his fault, as he wanted to be sure the girl he chose to be with would love his family and vice versa. He was a picky sort of guy, but he wasn’t the type to waste anyone’s time when he knew what he wanted, and you appreciated that. Hearing him talk about his family and the love he had for them, it warmed your heart because you could only hope that you’d be the girl Quinn chose to meet his family one day.

As the night was winding down, with only a few guys left to talk to, you found yourself realizing that also meant an elimination was just around the corner.

“How the hell am I gonna do this?”

Questioning yourself as you paced the floor, your thoughts the only noise in the room, you tried to imagine who you would eliminate. But it seemed almost impossible to choose, they were all so amazing. Sure some conversations weren’t the best, but no one had given you a reason to say goodbye to them so soon. Not to mention you still needed to decide who would get the first rose of the night.

“Ugh!”

Letting out a groan you plopped back onto the couch in a huff, resting your head in your hands. The pressure of things weighing heavily on you as you tried to calm your nerves.

“Is now a bad time?”

Looking up you saw John poking his head in the room, a playful smile on his face as he waited for your invitation to join you.

“Now is actually a great time, please.”

A slight laugh came from you as John found a place on the couch, studying your expression and sensing how stressed you were. Before you could say anything more he pulled you into his chest, one hand rubbing your back while the other rested in your hair. You felt yourself melt in his embrace, that hug not what you’d expected, but everything you needed. John could feel you relax the moment his arms wrapped around you, a smile on his lips knowing such a small action could bring you so much comfort.

“Thank you, I, I really needed that.”

A soft blush on your cheeks as you pulled away, tucking some hair behind your ear as he smiled down at you.

“It’s okay to be stressed. This is a crazy experience, probably more for you than the rest of us. But, a crazy experience nonetheless.”

John’s hand rested on your thigh as his thumb traced circles over the fabric of your dress, simply enjoying being there with you in that moment and not needing to have conversation or ask you tons of questions that could add to your stress.

“Y/n, we’ve got 5 minutes before first rose.”

Biz popped his head in to give you the warning, a soft smile on your lips as you thanked him. Looking at John with a sigh, you apologized.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get time to really talk, I was busy being stressed.”

He wrapped you in a hug once more before heading off to rejoin the group. “Don’t apologize, I think we spent our time exactly how you needed it. And I’m happy to have helped in any way that I could’ve.”

Entering the room to see all of the guys once again, you could feel your heart beating out of your chest. Their eyes on you as you stood before them holding the first rose of the night. All of them were hopeful that their name would be called, knowing it would be a boost in confidence for them heading into next week.

As you scanned the room, you took a deep breath, a smile on your face as his name sat on your tongue, eager to shout it out and see his reaction. But you kept your composure, as you finally called his name.

[musicalmoritz]

terukane headcanons? (⁠゜⁠o⁠゜⁠;

I’ve been waiting to answer this one all day, I needed to give it all my brain power

• They met when Akane joined the Student Council in his first year of high school, meaning they haven’t known each other too long

• They were aware of each other before that, of course. Teru knows everybody, especially the Seven Mysteries. And it’s impossible NOT to know who Teru Minamoto is

• They actually met in passing before Akane joined the Student Council but Teru was in a rush so he brushed him off, with little concern for his manners since Akane is a Mystery. This gave Akane a pretty sour impression of Teru to begin with

• Their first proper encounter was rather hostile. As soon as Fuji was out of the Student Council room, Teru drew his sword and tied Akane up. He confronted him about his stance as a Clock Keeper and revealed himself as an exorcist. They agreed to work together so long as they kept an eye on each other, and neither of them broke the other’s trust. Another poor impression

• While Akane “hates” Teru, Teru doesn’t hate Akane. He wants to be his friend but he has no concept of social norms so he goes about it all wrong. There’s also the element of him hating supernaturals AND being a sadist so ofc when he has a supernatural on hand it’s easy for him to relieve stress via bullying and torture…somebody save Akane

• But Akane is really good at reading people, so he doesn’t hold it against Teru as much as he claims to. He recognizes that he is the only person Teru gets to be completely himself around, the good and the bad with no facade. So he complains, but he puts up with it

• We’re making this a mutual au because as we all know, one-sided ships are the only thing I’m too emotionally mature for

• Teru has liked Akane ever since he met him, although he repressed it. A cute boy with brown-blue eyes and auburn hair…then he turns out to be someone Teru can be completely comfortable around…an exception to his cruel lifestyle…someone he can trust…someone who puts up with all his worst flaws…it would be weird if he didn’t fall for him, tho Teru’s classic internalized homophobia won’t let him see it that way

• Akane’s moment was chapter 79. He’s pretty smart when it comes to love so he didn’t panic about it, but it did confuse him. He also felt guilty for it, he thought the only person he could fall for was Aoi. Falling for Teru felt like a betrayal to her, so he put those feelings on the back burner. He had to figure out what was going to happen with him and Aoi before he thought about Teru (let’s just say Aoi wasn’t ready for a relationship or smth, I don’t want to completely write her out I’ll put her in therapy instead)

• Before he got resolution with Aoi tho he had to get payback for all the torment Teru put him through. Duh. So he starts flirting with him when Teru least expects it. It’s funny to watch the way his brain short-circuits when he’s flattered by someone he’s actually interested in. He gets a good few laughs out of it but once Teru realizes what’s going on he adapts and starts flirting back. They’re both good at catching each other off-guard tho, making each other flustered is simply another part of their rivalry

• They both knew the other liked them long before they actually got together. They had multiple conversations about it but they both had their own hesitations. Teru was the last one to give in because once Akane realizes he wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it

• Their first kiss was very spontaneous and unconventional, it probably happened in the middle of a supermarket or smth. Fans tend to write it as a quiet, personal moment but nah, I think they both romanticized the hell out of something that was objectively awkward

• When Teru gets comfortable with his sexuality, there is no stopping him from the PDA. He makes a big scene out of greeting Akane every morning at school, and clings to him whenever Student Council meetings get boring. It’s partially to annoy him but he’s also Just That Clingy. Everyone knows they’re dating and while some students have a problem with it, Teru learns not to care

• They go on lots of “childish” dates so Teru can experience all the childhood things he missed out on. Playgrounds, arcades, amusement parks, Build-A-Bear, you name it. Remember when Kou took Mitsuba to a sandbox?? Yeah that’s an ideal date for Terukane. Though Akane doesn’t get as much out of it, he still enjoys himself. As long as he’s with Teru he doesn’t really care what he’s doing

• They plan their future together a lot so Akane can lecture Teru about retiring from exorcism. It’s an ongoing argument between them, but not in like an aggressive way. Teru knows that Akane just wants him to be happy, but he’s unwilling to open himself up to happiness

• Tiara calls them Mama and Papa. Teru is the mama (I am absolutely not trying to call him the girl in their relationship or feminize him, this is just a silly little joke pls don’t cancel me they’re both on the same level of masculinity; Teru just has big Mom Friend vibes to me)

• Most people were surprised when they got together because everyone assumed they hated each other (except Kou, who Teru told before they were official)

• They become a package deal, whenever one of them is alone someone will ask where the other is at

• My brain is too fried to continue but uhhhh yeah, they kiss

Hope you enjoyed these!! Thank you for the ask, I had fun making this <3

[zaebeecee]

Fight and Flight ••

Pre-RadioDust Oneshot •

Read on AO3

•••

Based on this headcanon from @alastorsfluffydeertail. Thank you for letting me use this as a prompt, my dear, and I’m sorry I took it a bit off the rails (as I am wont to do). This is what I get for never planning anything out.

But also if anyone thinks the Hazbin Hotel residents wouldn’t prank each other, they’re wrong.

•••

When Angel Dust had first agreed to move into the Hazbin Hotel (back when it was the Happy Hotel, whose name alone was almost enough to make him refuse no matter how well he was paid for the evening), it was the first time in his entire existence in Hell that he had known exactly what to expect. The princess had a fucking stupid plan about getting sinners into Heaven and her bodyguard/girlfriend/what the fuck ever was apparently determined to help her see it out; Angel knew a hopeless cause when he saw one, and more importantly, he knew how to capitalize on it.

Of course, he had forgotten one very key detail: sinners were human at their core, and when humans spent a lot of time in close proximity, they got to know each other really well. And when people got to know each other really well, that meant bonding was basically unavoidable.

It was easy to forget the ‘human’ factor of sinners at VoxTek, particularly when someone spent too much time around the Vees. Sometimes, Angel thought of them as less ‘humans’ and more ‘evil entities that had learned how to mimic the worst of human behavior with extra capitalism’, and because of that he had kept company with them as little as possible since Valentino had showed his true colors and backhanded Angel for the very first time. But the Hazbin Hotel was not VoxTek, and the other residents of the hotel were not the Vees. They were mostly relatively normal people, when you put aside things like noble station and overlord rank, and that complicated Angel’s initial plan.

Originally, he had agreed simply to take advantage of not having to pay rent and not having to live under Val’s thumb at all times. It was a simple scheme: follow just as many rules as he absolutely had to in order to avoid getting kicked out, keep as much of his drug usage off the property as he could, and bat his eyes and make super sappy apologies about ‘trying his best’ whenever he got caught. It would have gone great if not for one tiny little hiccup.

He liked them.

Damn them to a lower ring of Hell, but Angel liked the fuckers, and it wasn’t long before he realized that they were becoming friends. Of course, they were also a bunch of pricks who’d been punished with eternal damnation for the crime of being assholes in life, so with friendship came the inevitable bullshit of having asshole friends. This, frequently, meant pranks of varying degrees of severity and creativity.

In Angel’s defense, he didn’t start it. The whole thing began when someone (who was never actually identified) convinced all of the Egg Bois that they were named after different members of the Rat Pack (to go with Frank) and that Pentious really loved being serenaded with ‘Ain’t That A Kick In The Head’ at all times. It had started out kind of funny—the Egg Bois couldn’t keep time with each other and it got even worse when they tried to manufacture their own Dean Martin impersonations—but it had quickly grown into the absolute worst thing Angel had ever had the displeasure to suffer. Husk, accurately, determined that it was “proof of Hell’s eternal punishment”. Eventually, Charlie helped Pentious right them, but it was way, way too late.

The war was on, and it quickly spread to everyone in the hotel without mercy. And, unpredictably, it seemed everyone was in on the game in one capacity or another.

Everyone had their own weak points when it came to getting ‘punk’d’, as Vaggie called it with an impressively straight face. Charlie could be convinced of just about anything if you said it with enough conviction, and Husk was alarmingly easy to gaslight if you could rearrange or abscond with his bar equipment when he wasn’t looking. Niffty was, of course, weak to cleaning pranks (but they had quickly determined the Stabbing Threshold, which was the point where it wasn’t funny anymore and she would legitimately gut someone), and you could do a million things to Pentious if you got into his lab, as long as you didn’t break anything. Angel was particularly proud of the time he got Vaggie to fully arm herself and go all the way up onto the roof of the hotel to ‘challenge an intruder’ who ended up being a hellsquirrel, but she had gotten him back by coming into the kitchen while he was cooking, staring him dead in the eye, and breaking all of the spaghetti before he could stop her.

And Alastor? Well, no one could get into his room, or his radio tower, or even find him if he didn’t want to be found, which rendered him immune to most forms of planned tomfoolery. But when he was there? He was easy, because he was a jumpy fucker if you caught him off guard, and a single loud noise close enough behind him would send him shadow teleporting onto some other surface (the mantle of the lobby fireplace on one particularly memorable occasion).

It was fun. Or, at least, it was supposed to be fun. That was why they had a set number of rules: no staining anything Niffty had to clean (and no glitter, which was a personal rule for Angel after that one time), no making Charlie cry, no breaking Pentious’s equipment or Husk’s bottles, no fucking with Vaggie’s weapons and armor, and absolutely nothing involving Fat Nuggets. Other than that, it was open season on everyone.

Charlie was conducting one of her little trust building exercises one evening, the entire hotel (sans Alastor) her captives for the duration of the entire exercise. Cherri had made the mistake of showing up just before it began, and curiosity had roped her in; now, she was sitting next to Angel and watching Charlie coaching Vaggie and Husk through some kind of role playing exercise with an open sort of fascination.

“Is it always like this?” Cherri murmured, leaning on Angel’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Angel whispered back. “I got no fuckin’ idea how this’s supposed to get us redeemed, tho, all it’s ever done is made me hate kids.”

Cherri snorted. “Why isn’t Radio Face here?”

Angel rolled his eyes. “He’s the hotelier,” he said, exaggerating Alastor’s transatlantic delivery and overly precise French pronunciation. “He don’t gotta participate, apparently, because he ain’t up for bein’ made better or whatever. Come to think of it, I ain’t seen him in a few days. Think he’s been out.”

Like Angel had spoken a cue, the radio on the lobby table made gentle static noises, and a couple of the lights flickered, just slightly. Everyone stopped, glancing around, because that meant one thing: Alastor was nearby, and he was either very angry or very tired, and either way it meant he wasn’t checking his power as much as he usually did. It had freaked Angel out the first time, but eventually, he learned to interpret it as a sign that Alastor was returning after a long bout of ‘personal business’ and probably wasn’t going to be bothering any of them.

Cherri grinned. “I’m gonna fuck with him,” she said into the silent room.

Angel let out a single barking laugh as Charlie said, “Oh, no, don’t, he’s probably exhausted.”

“That’s the best time to get him,” Husk said reasonably, immediately discarding the script he’d had thrust on him as soon as he noticed that Charlie wasn’t focusing on him anymore. “He’ll probably be too tired to actually retaliate.”

“Besides,” Pentious said, “he hasn’t exactly held back with anyone else. I’m still positive he started this. I just need to prove it,” he hissed, hunching over his clasped hands and rubbing them together.

Niffty patted the table with her palms a few times, grinning brightly. “I wanna see Cherri scare Alastor~”

“You can’t scare Alastor,” Angel said with a disbelieving snort. “Startle him, sure, but scare? Bullshit.”

Vaggie sighed. “Do I need to prepare damage control?”

“Relax, I’m not gonna cause property damage,” Cherri said. “I just wanna get the bitch back for what he did to my stuff last time I was here. I’m still finding ticker tape everywhere, even in my own goddamn apartment.”

Charlie looked uncomfortable, but of course, she was always the most hesitant when it came to their petty little game. “Okay, I guess that’s fine,” she said reluctantly. “But don’t overdo it, okay?”

Everyone waited with bated breath, Cherri tossing a small bomb over to the corner near the front door. It was only a few seconds before they heard the click and Alastor stepped in, looking as though he had been through the wringer and was doing his damndest to hold it together. He didn’t even notice any of them, shutting the door behind him and immediately beginning a slow beeline for the stairs.

Angel had only half a second to form the thought that it might not be a great idea after all when Cherri clapped her hands sharply and the little bomb behind Alastor went off with a loud crack and a spark of bright pink light. The sound Alastor made wasn’t quite a scream; it was really more of a startled yip, a high and animalistic noise that hurt Angel’s ears with its sharp edge. He bolted instantly, dropping his microphone staff along the way and running blindly straight into a wall. There was a loud impact as he collided with the immovable structure of the hotel, the sound a little weird and followed by a series of loud yelps. Almost immediately, everyone could see exactly what happened: in his alarm, Alastor’s antlers had expanded, and they were now stuck pretty firmly in the wall.

Cherri was the first one who laughed, but she wasn’t the only one. Angel had to admit, it was funny, watching the big bad Radio Demon struggle to unstick himself from a wall, of all things. The laughter was contagious, spreading through the group in a rippling wave. In moments, the only one who wasn’t laughing was Charlie, who dropped her own script pages and ran straight over to try and help Alastor liberate himself.

Angel leaned forward as Cherri slapped his back in her laughter, and he rubbed a tear of mirth out of his eye, looking over to where Charlie was failing to even approach the struggling overlord. Angel watched as he took a swipe at her with a clawed hand, ineffectually scrabbling at the wall with the other and kicking the baseboard in an attempt to extricate himself without retracting his antlers.

The moment Angel heard Alastor’s distressed keening noise, he realized Alastor couldn’t retract his antlers. He wasn’t just exhausted, he was panicking and…

Humiliated.

Angel jumped to his feet, guilt smothering his amusement like a bucket of water on a birthday candle. “Shut the fuck up!” he yelled over everyone’s cackling, his unusually sharp tone enough to startle all of them into a silence that highlighted the way Alastor’s breathing had become high and far too fast. Angel didn’t bother with any admonishment, instead running over to where the other sinner had trapped himself and taking Charlie by the shoulders. “Move,” he said, not taking his eyes off Alastor.

She looked up at him. “But— but he’s—!”

“I got it. Move.” As Charlie backed off, Angel approached, trying to put himself in Alastor’s line of sight. His sclera had gone entirely black and his smile was tight and stressed; Angel couldn’t actually see, but he was pretty sure Alastor’s irises had turned into radio dials. “Hey, Alastor,” he said gently, immediately bending backwards as the overlord took a vicious swipe at him, too. “Whoa, whoa, big guy, it’s okay.”

When Alastor put both of his hands on the wall and ineffectually shrugged with a cry that was almost pathetic, Angel took the opportunity to swoop in, hoping Alastor’s physiology was as close to human as it looked and that this didn’t get him gutted. He pushed one hand up into Alastor’s hair from his nape, cradling the back of his head with his palm and gently pressing his fingers into the bases of Alastor’s antlers. A second hand cupped the back of Alastor’s neck, thumb and forefinger immediately seeking out the pressure points at the base of his skull. His third hand went to Alastor’s back, stroking down his spine before lifting and repeating the motion as though he was trying to calm a stressed animal. And his fourth hand just rested on Alastor’s shoulder, primarily so he would feel it if the Radio Demon lashed out and could attempt to evade if necessary.

“Hey, Smiles, it’s okay, it’s just me,” Angel said as soothingly as he could when he felt Alastor’s muscles growing so taut that he feared the other demon would snap into pieces. “Shh, it’s okay, ain’t nobody in here gonna give you any shit, I promise. And if they try, I’ll kill ‘em for you, or at least hold ‘em down while you kill ‘em, okay?”

Angel kept up his gentle touches, leaning close to murmur low enough that only Alastor could hear him, and silently marveled at the fact that he was touching Alastor and Alastor was letting him. His hair was soft, and his coat was clearly made from expensive material, but even through the thick cloth Angel’s fingers could have counted his ribs and each individual vertebrae. And slowly, in response to his touch, Alastor actually began to relax. His breath slowed, his smile grew less tense, and with a crackle of broken plaster, his antlers slowly began to recede.

“You can rip everybody up into tiny pieces, and then I’ll help ya make jambalaya or gumbo or whatever you want outta their bits. Or I can make bolognese outta them. Whatever you’re feelin’.” That was enough to get the smallest noise of amusement from Alastor, more of a huff of breath than anything else, but with that his antlers returned to their usual shape.

As he finally freed himself from the wall, Angel made to release him, but Alastor spun to face him at an alarming speed and seized him by his upper arms. “Alastor—?!” Angel’s voice was a soft exclamation, but he froze, watching Alastor hang his head and regain control of his ragged and pained breathing.

Angel was anticipating having his arms ripped straight from his body—nobody touched Alastor, especially not when he wasn’t expecting it—but Alastor just held onto him like he was genuinely afraid Angel was about to disappear. His grip wasn’t even painful, just tight. Desperate, maybe, though with his panic gone Angel couldn’t begin to understand why. But even as he held onto Angel’s arms, Alastor’s wicked claws didn’t so much as scratch him, and his hands… they were soft.

It felt like an hour passed before Alastor’s breathing evened out, but Angel knew it was only a few seconds. Slowly, Alastor raised his head to look up at Angel, his ears laid flat against his head and his eyes wide, but no longer manic. Before, Angel had always associated Alastor’s eyes with the color of blood, but this close… they were more like deep garnet set into rich ruby. For the eyes of a mass murdering serial killer, they were almost alarmingly warm as they caught Angel’s gaze and held it.

“…thank you, Angel.”

The words were spoken so quietly Angel wouldn’t have heard them if Alastor hadn’t been mere inches from him. Before he could even consider formulating a response, the shadows Alastor so fondly called his friends swirled up from the ground, wrapping around his body and pulling him into blackness. It was his hands that pulled away last, gently releasing Angel’s arms and leaving trails with fingertips that made the spider’s flesh tingle. For the briefest moment, Alastor’s shadow remained, and Angel thought it was watching him with something that felt like wary curiosity before it too vanished.

Angel stared at the broken wall and the plaster that littered the carpet as Charlie stormed back to the group, lighting into them for being mean and immediately beginning to lay new ground rules, but Angel barely heard a word she said. He folded his arms and placed his hands where Alastor’s had been moments before, like he could still feel the other sinner holding onto him like a lifeline, and marveled at his own foolishness.

When, he wondered, had he started caring this much about Alastor’s wellbeing? When had Alastor decided that Angel Dust of all people was worthy of breaking his five foot rule, even in such extraordinary circumstances? When had Angel determined it was worth risking his own health and safety to prevent Alastor from hurting himself?

And, most importantly, what was he doing thinking about Alastor at all?

•

The next evening, Angel was in his bedroom cleaning his toys when a dome of shadow manifested on his floor mere feet away from him. He squealed in alarm, launching himself backwards and tumbling off the other side of his bed to land in a graceless heap on his floor. Swearing he could hear something giggling somewhere around him, he grabbed his comforter and hauled himself up, leaning on the mattress with his arms and peering around suspiciously.

The shadow was gone, and Angel didn’t see any threats or blood or threatening animal corpses. He did, however, see a plate sitting on his floor. That plate held a stack of some kind of pastries and a folded card with his name on it.

“…the fuck…” Angel muttered, clambering over his bed and hopping down to land beside the plate. Upon closer inspection, he realized that the plate was full of freshly-baked beignets, generously covered with powdered sugar and still so warm that the sugar was beginning to melt. He picked up the card and looked at the delicate penmanship spelling out ‘Angel Dust’, then flipped it open, taking in the simple message written so beautifully.

Tell no one. You know what will happen if you do.

Angel felt himself actually smiling in a way that he hadn’t for a very long time, folding the card again and pressing the corner to his lips. He considered for a moment, then glanced at a nearby shadow. “You can tell him I ain’t gonna let anybody know he baked somethin’ for me like a sweetheart.” He didn’t see Alastor’s shadow, but he heard another giggle and he knew it was there.

He picked up the plate and carried it to his bed, opening his bedside table drawer and slipping the note in with a few other belongings that he didn’t want anyone else seeing but liked having on hand. As he laid on his bed, petting Fat Nuggets and nibbling on delicious baked goods and texting with Cherri about how Alastor had apparently gotten into her apartment and hidden all of her explosive components around the city, leaving only a very obtuse list of scavenger hunt-style clues… Angel wondered if he was starting to remember what being happy felt like.

•••

[dufferpuffer]

Hi it's me again sorry to spam your inbox. I had PoA in the background while working and it just hit me: how was Remus immediately so good at teaching? As far as we know, he never was a teacher before. He worked little odd jobs to survive that he barely kept for a few months. Yet, he starts at Hogwarts and immediately his first lesson is a success. The students love him so much to the point they still talk about him books later, actively defend him (in front of Snape and Umbridge), to the point that Hermione, who figured out he was a werewolf, decided to trust him and defended him as well.

How did this happen? It also didn't seem like Remus wanted to teach so much, it even sounded like he was coerced into it by Dumbledore who tracked him down. Yet, he came prepared, with his neat little suitcase he carefully repaired and sewed together, he even stamped "Professor R.J Lupin" on it (ACTUALLY CANON OMG). He even received praise from Madam Pomfrey "So we've finally got a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies?". He was PREPARED. He gave hands on lessons (there is a whole paragraph in the beginning of Chapter 8 describing how good his lessons are), a fun practical exam, he always deflected conflicts (regarding Malfoy's snarky remarks and rage baits), he immediately spots Neville as anxious and puts him forward in the first class to give him a little confidence boost (literally the first professor to ever praise Neville), he had a subtle but funny humour (I'm referring to the time Harry had tea in his office "I've only got teabags, I'm afraid -- but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves?"). The CUTEST THING is him giving Harry a set of very nice, useful books for Christmas in OotP along with Sirius. Like, how thoughtful???

We often refer to him as "grey" but to me he seems more polarized. Like he is ALL or NOTHING. Fatherly yet cold, caring yet distant, supportive yet absent. Tbh sometimes I just wanna grab his shoulders and give him a shake. How does one spot a student like Neville so easily, boosts him up, and then just goes and does exactly what Neville is doing (cowarding away, throwing self-confidence out the window).

He makes me so mad. I love him so much. Sorry I didn't mean for this to turn into such a rant (expect another msg on Remus' interactions with Severus in a near future).

no this isn't spam this is delicious yum yum yum I've thought for awhile that I wanna go through Remus and Severus' teaching methods. I'm reading POA right now, a chapter a night or so to my boyfriend (He was 'a bit too old' for HP when it came out, so he's enjoying it now) So I'm paying attention lol

Whether Remus didn't want to teach and Albus had to beg him - or teaching did appeal to him but he thought as a werewolf it would just never be a possibility... he really took to it, didn't he? His suitcase AAHHHH how can one man be SO FUCKING CUTE

I think it's down to being a good mix of skills for him:

He manipulates people to like him. He makes himself pleasant, helpful, positive, charming... that's a good quality for a teacher! To be able to control a whole class of kids takes some sort of manipulation - and Remus is already practiced. He is good at reading people, who they are and what they need... His best quality as a teacher is the fact he can connect to his students emotionally - a rare quality for Hogswarts staff.

That and he just seems to like the kids. He is a bit of a kid himself at heart - while also enjoying being a mentor. Being nurturing. Impressing them. Learning all their names. Showing off his skills. Helping them. Making class fun and engaging. A practical as their first lesson: where he shows them they are capable of handling even their worst fears...

DADA is a good subject for him - he is a strong spellcaster (can cast a patronus effortlessly), Was a spy amongst dark creatures and Death Eaters in the first war - and has a father that specialized in the field. Lyall studied boggarts, poltergeists and dementors - what does Remus do on his very first few days...? Scare off a dementor, show off against a poltergeist - and teach the kids how to deal with a boggart. Just like his own dad. Probably where he knows the chocolate remedy from too, imo Also was the dementor there for him because it could sense he was a werewolf?

Snape mentions later that Lupin lacks organization, is 'hardly over-taxing' the class teaching them first year stuff - that the class is very behind. He might be exaggerating because he hates Lupin (though why say anything at all...?) - but Snape is a good teacher. Not perfect, but despite demanding a high bar for his NEWTs classes they are always well populated. He is good at his job. If he says Lupin is disorganized, behind and focusing on the easy stuff, I believe him at least partially. Maybe his standards are just too high, made worse by hating Lupin and being desperate in the one class he might have with the third years to get them warned about werewolves.

But if those are Lupin's only failings in his first year...? Lupin's a natural at teaching. He is just a bit behind and disorganized - when he spends multiple days a month disabled. And he excels at the area Snape struggles most in: Being able to alter how he teaches to support struggling students. Considering the fact the classes last two teachers were a very distracted Quirrell (underrated character) and an incompetent Lockheart - teaching first year stuff and going easy is probably the best option. He has assessed the level of the class and matched it.

Calling Lupin all-or-nothing is... pretty apt, really. I often think of him as lukewarm, but you're right: It's not that he mingles around half-doing things. he does shit 100% or he is gone. Teacher, 'mentor', Order member, spy, partner... all either done brilliantly - or he is someone Albus needs to track down.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Something something about Zoe admitting that she used to lie to make a friend's and end up losing them because of it.

Where do I ever hear of it?

Oh, right! Lila!

Before Chameleon Lila is just simply a liar, even Adrien(?) reasoned maybe it's because she want to fit in.

Funny how Marinette end up antagonize her while welcoming Zoe heartily and the only difference between them is only one of them has a crush on Adrien. Guess which one that Marinette made enemies of?

I agree that Zoe's backstory is similar to Lila's canon story, but you haven't given a fair assessment of the differences in their introductory episodes. It's not even necessarily fair to call them the same character. Zoe's lying is presented as her acting different to try to fit in. She's not telling major lies about her life to make herself stand out. The worst we get is stuff like this:

Chloé: (closes the door) Since your father isn't here, you'll use mine! If you become my sister, of course. Rule number two: you need a minion. Where's yours? Zoé: Uhhh, I left them…in New York!

Which is still enough to understandably turn someone off to Zoe, but it doesn't make her a Lila clone. Let's look at why that is.

Lila's intro has her actively coming up with very extreme lies that aren't about fitting it. They're about making her stand out! She doesn't want to be part of the crowd. She wants to be worshiped. Here are some quotes from the start of Volpina to give the flavor of lies we see from Lila:

Rose: Can you believe Lila knows Prince Ali? She even flew in his private jet with him! Chloé: Why did Jagged Stone write a song about Lila when he could've written it about me? Nino: Lila knows all of the Hollywood directors. She promised she'd mention me to Steven Basielberg himself! Marinette: (rushes back to Alya's side) Lila? Alya: Yeah, she just started at our school! (points to Lila, who's on the second floor of the school with Adrien) She even gave me an exclusive interview for the Ladyblog, 'cause Ladybug saved her life once! Watch! (shows Marinette the video of Lila on her blog)

It's worth noting that this exchange makes Marinette feel jealous and threatened, but she doesn't hate Lila. She's just afraid that Adrien will fall for the cool new girl. This leads her to follow Lila and Adrien into the school library where we get this:

Lila: So you've got a little soft spot for the bug, huh? Adrien: Me? Oh, no! Not at all! (The book cart moves closer to them, but is unnoticed.) Lila: You know I actually happen to be very close friends with Ladybug. (Adrien and Marinette both gasp.) Adrien: Really?!

This is where Marinette's hatred comes from and it's justified. This scene would play the exact same way no matter who Lila was talking to. Someone is using Marinette's name to get close to people. That would upset most of us. We also get this moment at the end of that same scene:

Adrien:(gets an alert from his phone) I gotta go! I've got a lesson in 58 seconds. (Lila causes Adrien to drop his bag on the floor) Lila: So, the park? (pushes the superhero book on the floor away from Adrien's bag with her foot) Adrien: Uh sure! (runs out) Lila:(picks up the book) A vixen superheroine? Hmm, interesting... (leaves the library) Tikki: Marinette! Marinette: I know. I gotta talk to Adrien before he meets up with Lila in the park. He needs to know that she's a total thief.

Once again, Marinette's feelings are extremely justified. Lila stole Adrien's book and will go on to toss it in the trash, showing that she never meant to return it, probably to avoid the risk of him thinking that she took it. These are two incredibly negative things for someone to witness and they're basically Marinette's first impression of Lila! Meanwhile, this was Marinette and Zoe's first interaction:

Marinette: Sorry I got held up here! (bumps into Zoé) Sabine: Is everyone all right? Marinette: Sorry, sorry, sorry! Zoé: It's totally okay, but maybe I should be asking if you're okay. That was quite a fall!

Very different. Not enough to justify Marinette trusting Zoe, but Marinette's hatred of Chloe combined with this initial good first impression are arguably enough for Marinette to be willing to hear Zoe out and give her a chance to prove herself. It's easy to be rude to service workers and Zoe wasn't, so I can see why Marinette would believe that Zoe isn't a manipulative monster especially since Zoe does apologize and promise to explain herself pretty quickly after the scene where she's rude to Marinette and Co:

(Zoé, sitting at the end of Chloé's bed, gets a text message as Chloé continues to search for shoes. She sees it is a message from Marinette, and reads.) Marinette: (voiceover) I can tell something is keeping you from being yourself. If it's Chloé, we can talk about it tonight, if you want. You're still welcome to come to the Barge. (Zoé texts Marinette back.) Zoé: (internal voiceover as she types) Sorry. I'll explain tonight. (sends the message, Marinette's picture and name pops up as she does)

It would be better if Zoe instigated this text exchange, but I don't hate this scene. I just think it's rushed and that Marinette should come across as more cautious about Zoe after everything that happened at the end of the last season. Marinette's actions here and conviction about her initial judgement of Zoe would make a lot more sense if they came in an earlier season, but this is a formula show, so that's probably playing a part in the awkwardness. Marinette isn't allowed to become more guarded, I guess...

If we go back to looking at Volpina, we find a very different type of story. After Marinette's terrible first impression of Lila, she watches the aforementioned Ladyblog interview off screen and gains even more reasons for her to be justifiably pissed at Lila, further cementing that bad first impression:

Ladybug: (sarcastically) Well hey Lila! How's it going? Long time no see. I saw your interview on the Ladyblog, awesome job. (puts her foot on the bench between Lila and Adrien, and leans closer to Lila) Oh sure! I remember our instant connection when I saved your life and we've been really good friends ever since! Practically BFF's! Uh actually, when did I save your life again, Lila? I don't recall. Oh yes! Of course, now I remember. Never! And we're not friends either! (to Adrien) Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her.

We learn here that Lila didn't just claim that she was saved by Ladybug, which is honestly a pretty minor lie. Instead, she's once again claiming that they're close friends! Take out the Adrien complication and Marinette would still quickly start to hate Lila because Lila is using her name left and right and that's not okay! It's also not a minor thing.

The show is a little unclear about how seriously society takes the Ladyblog, but it's serious enough for Alya to be treated as an authority who is invited on talk shows as we saw in Prime Queen

Nadja: Don't be bemused, it's just the news! Hi, I'm Nadja Chamack, and this is Side by Side. Today, I'm joined by Alya Césiare, who created the Ladyblog! Together, we'll be looking back over Cat Noir and Ladybug's greatest feats.

The Ladyblog is also the resource that Felix uses to research the miraculous. So it's fair to say that the Ladyblog is not an unknown news source. At the very least, it's being treated as a true authority on all things Ladybug and Alya is getting serious public attention, which means that Lila's little interview is probably going to be treated seriously by a significant portion of society since it's coming from the Ladyblog.

Ladybug would be well within her rights to have Alya publish a retraction. In fact, it's super weird that Ladybug didn't do that and is one of the many reasons why I hate Volpina. The episode completely justifies almost everything Marinette does and then tries to present her actions as being in the wrong by having Adrien chastise her:

Adrien:(to Lila, who is crying) So I guess you aren't the descendant of a superhero either? Ladybug: She's more like a super liar. Lila: How dare you?! Adrien: Wait! Lila! (Lila runs away) Hey, what was that all about? Uh, I mean, weren't you kinda harsh with her? Ladybug: I...I don't put up with lies, especially when they're about me. (yo-yos away)

Which does eventually lead to Ladybug apologizing to Lila:

Ladybug: I... totally overreacted and... never should've spoken to you like that. I'm sorry.

No you didn't overreact! Writers, why are you telling kids that it's wrong to confront people who are lying about you? How should the Lila problem have been addressed if confronting her is wrong? It's not like she stops lying after this or like the show treats her as a minor threat. She's literally the new main villain and her eventual outing to the class is way more dramatic than this, so how was Marinette in the wrong here? Why did the writers have Adrien chastise her?

I've seen people justify Adrien's reaction here as him viewing Lila like a gossip rag spreading lies. To be fair, that's a valid way to make his actions make sense. The best course of action for the lies in those things IS to ignore them because no one with a brain is going to treat a gossip rag as a credible source.

However, the Ladyblog is not treated like a gossip rag and Lila wasn't just spreading rumors for quick cash. She was actively manipulating Adrien and has claimed authority via a reputable news outlet. The appropriate response to that kind of misinformation IS a retraction. It IS appropriate for Ladybug to do something here. If anything, Ladybug was being quite tame! She had a mostly private confrontation with Lila and then let the matter died for some reason. If it were me, I'd be telling the world that I don't know this woman and to not believe a word she says!

If anyone should have learned a lesson in this episode, it's Adrien. He needed to learn the difference between gossip rag lies and lies that you actually need to address, which is frankly a good lesson for a sheltered teen celebrity to learn! It makes sense that he wouldn't know what to do here, but the show treats this as him being in the right and I hate it! Him guilting Ladybug into staying quiet is why Lila is able to maintain her power for 4 more seasons.

Alya could also stand to learn a lesson on checking her sources. It's not like she never runs into Ladybug. Just hold off on posting the interview for a few days.

Circling back to the original ask: if Lila was telling the kind of minor lies that we see from Zoe, then I'd agree that this was a case of hypocrisy, but that's not what we see. It's also why I never really bought the whole, "Lila is just tying to fit in" excuse. Those are not the sort of lies you tell if you're trying to fit in! They're way too extreme!

While I'm not a fan of Zoe's character, her initial lies match the story she tells about wanting to fit in. Lila, on the other hand, feels like someone with an agenda. What that agenda is I do not know, but she clearly has one and she's had it from day one. It's really not weird that Marinette came to hate Lila while she was willing to give Zoe a second chance. The characters were set up in a way where that is an understandable response for her character even if you remove Adrien from the equation.

There are many episodes that make Marinette look terrible. Neither of these make that list. The only questionable thing Marinette does is follow Adrien and Lila into a public library and listen in on their conversation. I'm not going to call that good behavior, but it's hard to be too critical when it's clearly only there because the writers needed Marinette to overhear the lies to kick off the rest of the episode. I personally would have just had Marinette be in the library already and accidentally overhear her alter ego's name, leading her to listen in, but that's not drastically different than what we actually got so it's hard for me to get too worked up over the writers going the dramatic route. That's what they always do. The show relies heavily on absurdity so it make sense for Marinette overhearing the conversation to be done in the most absurd way possible.

[glassrowboat]

Lounge Music. Gallagher.

Summary: A bar singer, that's all she was supposed to be, but instead, the girl became a right pain in his ass with every passing day as Gallagher only grows fonder and fonder of her.

Word count: 1600+

Written pre-release.

The plan, originally anyhow, was to improve the atmosphere. The bar has its regulars, the patrons that always come crawling back, but being able to draw more people on with something new has its benefits. That's what Gallagher was thinking anyway as he posted a ‘we're hiring’ sign right out front for a singer willing to work in a bar.

At first he was expecting wide eyed young ladies coming through hoping to get any shot at being on stage, to have their voice heard, and admittedly that is what he got in a way. Only two applicants showed up. A bubbly little thing who was excitedly talking about using this to make her big break and the other girl who’s first impression was to sit down and tell him he will hire her.

Well, it certainly left an impression. Enough of one to tell Gallagher that she would be a pain in his behind if he did hire her, and oh boy was he right.

○He does not appreciate your constant teasing about him looking like the type of guy to call a girl dame, especially as you pretend to hold a cigarette up to your lips to take a long drag to really sell the bit. Worst part is when he went home that night, hand ruffling through his hair in pure exhaustion as he closed the front door right behind him only to be met by his tired and worn expression and Gallagher couldn't even deny you had a point. Dammit.

○Though on that note the bar used to be a smoke where you want place as he didn't see the point in knocking that behavior out of his customers when Gallagher is guilty of such behavior himself, but that changed after you were hired. A smoking section specifically being set up in the part of the bar furthest from the stage, the sign something he taps out now when he sees a customer pull out a lighter. Did he do this because you wouldn't stop pretending to cough every time he lit a cigarette for himself? Maybe. At least it gets you to stop being so dramatic every five seconds. 

○You've introduced him to more music and artists than not. Gallagher had gotten so used to the radio playing the same few songs again and again on repeat that he'd be sick of them, so when you came in with something new ( that you're playing on his phone for some reason rather than your own) it was more like a godsend than anything. Finally, some variety.

○Gallagher will always make sure you have a glass of water right beside you in case you ever need it. He's not sure how much of a strain singing all night would even put on you, but it's definitely something, right? Especially when you have to do exercises before even going out there. 

○He won't make a remark about how your voice sounds a little hoarse after each night, not even once, but if your voice cracks one time while you're singing it's going to be held over your head for weeks. Payback is a bitch and you have to deal with it. Not like it will stop your teasing though.

○Gal will not entertain your requests to sing with you, not even as you try to drag him on stage. Funny that you thought it'd even work, but good on you for having goals. Any time you ask it's always met with an “I hired you for a reason.”

○He does not keep up with trends at all so if you decide to sing a tik tok song it will fly right over this man's head. Use this information as you will.

○You're allowed to hide behind the bar if you ever feel the need to. He'll even keep an eye on you between the drinks he makes and customers coming up with orders to make sure no one is bothering you. At first he only did this as he tried to figure out how people would respond to this change, trying to see if they liked the live music or not, but somehow it just became second nature over time. Well, maybe not ‘somehow.’ More like when he noticed you cussing someone who was clearly a few drinks too many in pestering you. 

○He has never heard a woman call another person a bitch in heat that needs to go fuck a lamppost so the can leave her alone until that day and he still finds himself laughing about it on a rare occasion.

○But yeah, anytime you want you're free to come hide behind the bar with him. It's more common than not on days when there's less people coming in, just a few faces that stick to their seats with a drink in hand as you pester him over something. Again. On one such day Gallagher took one of the drink shakers and tried to teach you a trick or two, the simplest ones he knows just to waste time. It shouldn't be that hard, right? Well that was apparently wrong as the shaker slipped out of your grasp and landed right on your head.

○It was a good thing he thought ahead and chose not to fill it with anything. 

○”You're a real clutz, aren't you?”

○And yes, Gallagher has spotted you tripping over the wire attached to the microphone more than once.

○Would walk you back to your car every night after cleaning up. It has led to you running around wiping off tables because you want to catch up on some drama you've been watching. He can't honestly keep up with the details of this show either. What do you mean this girl just ate poison and walked it off like it was nothing? Where's the context, (Y/n)?

○He never gets that context in the end.

○You get free drinks. He's more than happy to pull out a glass or mix something he's been testing out together for you even if Gallagher claims this will come out of your paycheck. It never does. 

○Now when Gallagher hears a new song a part of him can't help but wonder what it would sound like in your voice. It's worse on the days you're off, having to go back to the radio just to fill the air a bit more than just the chatter of customers and the sound of glass on wood as people set their drinks down a bit too harshly as the alcohol starts to flood into their systems. 

○Somehow, in some way, the days you're not there have just grown to feel wrong. 

Which is why it's all the better as you're back the next day, your same habit of swaying along with the beat the same as ever. Maybe he'd call you out for it later if you decided to say something weird again, but for now Gallagher simply leaned against the counter, hand raising up in a wave as someone walks through the door. Bell attached to the top of the doorframe swaying back and forth as it rings. Somehow it doesn't come across as melodic as it once did but it still draws his attention well enough. It serves its purpose, so no point getting rid of it.

“Welcome in,” he calls out, voice already getting a bit gruff from having to talk so late into the night.

In turn a familiar face greets Gallagher, an old regular that stopped dropping by sitting down in a stool before him as Gal wipes the surface off to make sure it wasn't sticky from any spilled drinks. “Been a while, hasn't it?”

“That it has. Come back here cause of another fight with the wife, James?” Something else you make fun of him for, acting as the good old fashioned bartender people come to to spill their woes. But hey, it pays the bills on his end and it's cheaper than therapy to buy a beer or two to come whining to him about what's going on. 

“You can say that again.”

“The usual?” Even as he asks that Gallagher is already grabbing a beer, James preferred brand as the familiar label flashes across His eye while popping off the bottle cap.

“Why ask if you already know?” Even with his need to roll his eyes, James picked the bottle up, bringing it up to his lips for a quick chug. “It's clearly been a while since I've been here. The woman up on the stage is new.”

“(Y/n).”

“Okay, (Y/n) is new.” James leaned back into his chair to look at the woman, watching as you toyed with the cable attached to the mic between your fingers, letting it go round and round in circles between each word sung. “It's an improvement I'd say. Makes this old place a bit more lively.”

“She's certainly become a bit of a fan favorite.” 

“One you can't take your eyes off of.”

Gallagher could barely help the sigh falling from his lips at that, not exactly enjoying being called out so blatantly. Maybe a smoke would be nice, get his mind off this stuff just like he's been doing these past few weeks whenever that mischievous smile sneaks its way into his mind. “Just drink.”

He can decide what this all means later, but for now Gallagher can sit back and listen to your voice flooding over the bar and just like always, as this place shuts down for the night, he'll walk you back to your car and pretend he doesn't want to do more than tell you to get home safe.

“Can I still tell you about what bull my wife said this time?”

“Yeah, yeah, man. Just go ahead.”

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY TALKING ABOUT KING AEGON II TARGARYEN IN 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON' S2 FOR CBR MAGAZINE.

HOW AEGON DEALS WITH THE PRESSURE OF LIVING UP TO THE CONQUERER?

"[Aegon] puts that pressure on himself a lot. He wants to be heroic."

"Aemond's always been the warrior and the one with the physical presence. Now that Aegon has the crown on his head and sits [on] the Iron Throne, his power comes in a different form."

"Aegon's very aware that he's not Viserys in any way, shape or form, as much as he'd like to be."

"He's of the opinion that he wants to be loved and feared at the same time. We know that those don't go hand in hand. They can't function in tandem. He's working out which side of the fence he sits on."

WHAT IS AEGON'S WORST QUALITY THAT MAKES HIM ILL-SUITED TO SIT ON THE IRON THRONE?

"His impulsivity."

"[Aegon has a] lack of thought that goes into decisions. He's explosive and volatile. All that immediate angst is right at the surface the whole time."

"He needs people around him to rein him in."

"He's a bit of a dog in that way."

AEGON ISN'T A WARRIOR OR EVEN A DRAGON SLAYER. HE HAS A CLOSE BOND WITH HIS GOLDEN DRAGON, SUNFYRE, WHOM HE DESIGNED HIS BANNERS AFTER. BUT THAT MAY BE ONE OF HIS ONLY CONNECTIONS AS AEGON ALSO ISN'T A PEACEFUL RULE LIKE HIS FATHER, VISERYS.

"[Aegon] wants to be liked by people rather than actually do things out of the goodness of his heart."

"Those first impressions [with the smallfolk had] a sell-by date."

AEGON WANTS TO FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN MAKING A GOOD IMPRESSION AND WINNING THE WAR AGAINST HIS SISTER.

"He wants both, but the chances of either of those being possible are diminishing in front of [Aegon]'s eyes."

"He's clawing at anything he's got to make [both] happen."

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS TWIN CHILDREN, JAEHAERYS AND JAEHAERA IN S2. HIS LOVE FOR HIS CHILDREN UNVEILS A VULNERABILITY:

"It's easy when you play a character like [Aegon] to be cold and calculated and pretty numb to it all."

"[But Aegon's] capable of loving. His son is a creation of his [Jaehaerys] is something he made and is proud of."

"He sees a lot of himself in his son. This is what I was telling myself, anyway that it felt like he could almost start again with Jaehaerys."

"He could almost build the person that he wanted to be and never got a chance to be."

AS THESE INCIDENTS, NOTABLY HIS ASSAULT OF A SERVANT GIRL NAMED DYANA IN SEASON 1. WOULD AFFECT AEGON IN 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON' S2?

Glynn-Carney couldn't get into specifics about Aegon's "nuclear" journey, but he didn't defend his character.

"He's made a name for himself, hasn't he? People know what he's capable of and how he behaves. The smallfolk are aware of his antics."

TOM GLYNN-CARNEY DESCRIBED HIS COMMITMENT TO PLAYING A VILE CHARACTER AND THE POSSIBILITY OF RECEIVING HATE FOR PLAYING HIM.

"There's a lot of responsibility with this character and his involvement in the show."

"You can't think too much about [people's reactions] because you'll never step foot on set ever again. You just have to blag to yourself that it's just another day at the office."

"He's wild, unpredictable, dangerous, vulnerable and funny. He's a bit of the whole spectrum. He's at those extreme ends of the spectrum too."

A CONTROVERSIAL CHARACTER LIKE AEGON SHOULD BE HANDLED CAREFULLY. THANKFULLY, GLYNN-CARNEY HAS A GOOD UNDERSTANDING OF WHO AEGON IS, EVEN IF THE NEW KING HIMSELF MAY LACK THE SAME SELF-AWARENESS.

"It's now time for [Aegon] to try and redefine who he is, if he's capable."

"[However] I'm not sure if he's that interested in doing that. He thinks that now the crown's [on his head] he's just going to get the respect, validation and ears of everyone in Westeros to listen to him and to do as he says."

"It doesn't come as easy as that."

[1001aus]

@wearerandomlyyours IceMav time travel au has lived in my mind for a while now. Also I have Chronic Worldbuilding Syndrome and started having thoughts about Ice and Mav telling the brass that they met at Top Gun leading to the eventual creation of the program and policies put into place that will ensure it's the same as they described (i.e. teaching positions reserved for trophy winners, being located at Miramar).

Anyway.

I Wrote A Thing.

(Disclaimer: as this au does not belong to me, I make no promises that this will be compliant with anything that may get written by randomlyyours (that is their name on ao3. go check them out) in the future. I cannot promise that this is an au they are working on at all.)

---------‐

Mike has a suspicion about Duke's kid before he ever earns his callsign.

It starts as a funny thought: wouldn't it be a laugh if Duke was named after his own son. Duke being named after his son's cover identity which was probably named after him—Mike doesn't have the clearance to know more than what he needs to so he can identify Blizzard and Wild Thing when they come to Top Gun, not even what year to expect them although he's sure it's in the files somewhere—the exact order of events makes for a chicken-or-the-egg question for when he has nothing better to do than navel gazing.

Then he hears that Pete Mitchell is rejected from the academy because of who his father was. That burns him as much for the possibility he hadn't realized he felt so strongly about as much as it does because he knows the things people say about his wingman are lies.

For a while he assumes he was wrong; that's the end of it and doesn't think about that stray idea again.

Their first class roster for the class of '86 seems to confirm that. Mike wouldn't be cleared to know about Blizzard and Wild Thing if someone high up didn't expect him to be teaching them and Iceman looks like a perfect candidate. Blizzard and Wild Thing meet for the first time at Top Gun, that's why he's read in. Hell, it's why the program exists in the first place.

None of the other pilots have callsigns that line up, but it could be Cougar if he squints. Then Cougar turns in his wings less than a week before they start and Stinger sends the only other pilot on the Enterprise worth sending.

Pete Mitchell. Maverick.

That funny thought is worth something after all.

"Well, I'll be damned."

"Mike?"

He pulls the files out of the stack and offers them to Rick. It doesn't take more than a minute for Rick to understand what he's looking at.

"So it's finally happening, huh? They look just like the pictures."

"Explains why Wild Thing flew like he had a chip on his shoulder."

"That it does." Rick snorts out a laugh. "Either the pair of them will be our best students or our worst."

Yeah, Mike's already dreading that. He still isn't sure if he should tell the kid Duke flew on his wing or if that would just make more problems. Gonna have to play that one by ear.

Mitchell's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas and Kazansky's shooting for stars. They're the only real competition the two of them have got in this class and they're sharp enough to know it. There isn't much information available on Blizzard and Wild Thing before their grand entrance to the war, but Mike's willing to bet the first impressions don't go smoothly.

"The worst. Ten bucks says."

"Pretty confident there. Sure, I'll take that bet."

(Rick gives him his winnings at the end of the first day.)

[a-risk-to-take]

….you posted your tattoo (sick) and linked to house of dirk and i read it all and its unfinished. if you hadn’t posted i may have lived my life without getting fanfic blue balled for the first time since 2015. if you have any sympathy for my loss you would give me fanfic recs >:[ /lh

I feel your pain believe me 😭😭 I’m sorry I didn’t warn you at least. I’m low-key hoping the tattoo image gets to imarriedacherub and inspires them to continue the story - obviously not likely but it’s nice to dream!

I got recs for you though! I’ve got hundreds of bookmarks on my ao3 but here’s the HS stuff I love the most:

The epics:

Dayvhe’s Broken Diamond Club and everything by @unda-dsk: DBDC is my personal fave of theirs, and the best treatment of troll culture in any fic ever. If you know HS fic you are probably aware of MC Escher That’s My Favorite MC, and that one is absolutely excellent and completely deserves its status as one of the very best. And then there’s Alternate Universe, which is a perfect and beautiful magic school story. All of these are absolutely top-tier - I cannot stress this enough. They are epic and very long but some of the best stuff I’ve ever read—fanfic or otherwise—and they changed me when I read them. Despite the length, DBDC is very episodic so you can read each chapter as its own story and easily take breaks in between them without losing the flow, so you might want to start there. I promise it’s worth it!!

so we don’t kill the ones we love by @callmearcturus: I’ve never read anyone who can create an atmosphere like Arc can - this one is kind of a John Wick AU but in a really refreshing and elevated way. The characterization is so on point. Lots more I could rave about but I’ll just add that Arc’s Karkats are the hottest and most based out there. Again all his stuff is really good - this one is my favorite, but don’t miss this really cool magic artisan AU also.

The meteorstucks:

Aahhh there’s no way this is gonna be complete because I’ve read like hundreds and I get them confused but these are some that stand out. In case you haven’t notice already this list is gonna be very davekat centric!

Keep It Down by sburbanite - chef’s kiss concept and execution just read it

A Xenological Exploration of Music and Language by superbloom - super fun and well written with neat headcanon - and turned me on to some great music

I’m actually gonna just declare this section unfinished for now - I need to revisit these and remind myself what’s what - stay tuned!

Illustrated

Since you liked HoD you might be looking for more comic-y stuff with art. Definitely check out @chthonicarcher’s amazing davekats! Such as That’s All We Are

Dream a Little Dream of Me by koroke - this is just a little dream bubble comic but it’s simply the loveliest and I’m massively envious of the art style

Gonna Need Some Windex by the End of the Year by magniloquentChanteuse - more artistic storytelling just neat!

More

It’s About Time by @laurasauras - this is a sweet cute lovely little time travel davekat that I actually sent to a friend to read who knew nothing about HS and successfully led them into the fandom. (Followed by AU by Unda). Laurasauras is prolific and there are so many great fics written by them I can’t list them all here but they are one of my absolute favorite authors. Their understanding of the strider psyche is absolutely impeccable

The Worst Goddamn Movies Ever Fucking Made by writerbot - this fic brought me so much hilarity and joy I can’t even tell you. The Karkat voice is perfect and delightful and the social media interludes are so fucking funny and impressive. One of the first fics to show me how creative and funny this fandom can be.

I’m surely going to add to this - there are so many more meteorstucks and other authors I know I’ll think of after I post this - but I don’t want to spend too much longer on this now when you could be reading some of this great stuff! ENJOY!!

[ericsprincess]

baby we don’t need words

nc-17, Kevin Moon/reader, first date, cunnilingus, a tiny bit of dubcon

~~~

Your date talks way too much. 

~~~

A/N: My love and hate letter to Kevin. 

~~~

Shut up. Shut uuuuup. Shut the fuck uuuuuuuuup.

You take a sip from your glass of red wine and inconspicuously check your watch. Sigh. You are only 24 minutes into this date and you already want to bail. You’re this close to dramatically stabbing yourself with a fork, anything that would get you out of this situation. 

It’s not even a bad date per se. Technically, it’s probably the most “perfect” date you’ve ever been on. This guy - Kevin, as he introduced himself, when he asked for your number as you were waiting in the line at Starbucks - obviously put a lot of thought and effort into it. The restaurant is extra nice and fancy, but not an obvious dating spot. The table is perfectly placed with a view on the city. The candles are glimmering, making a beautiful atmosphere, together with the quiet music. Even the food he recommended to you is amazing, the wine he chose is even better. 

And Kevin himself looks stunning, in perfectly fitting black slacks and navy blue shirt, just tight enough to show off his body - tall, lean with the right amount of muscle and nice frame. His hair is done prettily, he smells expensive. Genuinely a stunning piece of man, that would make you straight up salivate, usually. Especially since he looks so sympathetic, he’s friendly and smiling and not at all threatening, like some men use to be when they hit on a woman. 

What’s worse, he made such a good first impression that you invested a lot of effort too. Getting asked out by a guy this hot is not a daily occurrence, not even for you. Your hair and nails are freshly done, your dress is new. Your underwear is matching. 

And it’s all for nothing, you think bitterly. 

Everything is perfect, save for the one fatal flaw - this guy just doesn’t shut up. And not only that. Whatever comes out of his mouth is cringe of the worst caliber and you’re about to break out in hives from it. 

He watches the cringiest shows and finds them funny.

He loves internet memes, but his taste is one of a 10 years old. You force out a laugh when he shows you some. Jesus Christ.

He loves music and plays instruments, but his obsessions with some singer is borderline unhealthy. No, you don’t want to go to the concert with him. 

He looooooves his job, but haaaaaaates his company. “But we are all just slaves of capitalism, aren’t we?”

His political views. Who even discusses politics on a first date? Time and place, dude. 

You try to participate in the conversation to your best abilities, but often you don’t even know how to react. You don’t want to be rude, so you try to find any interest and reply honestly and thoughtfully, despite it wearing your patience down, and it seems it’s working, judging by the bright smile he’s giving you. 

He obviously likes you more and more every minute. 

The worst is that despite all of it, you can clearly tell he’s a harmless, genuinely nice guy with a heart of gold. Someone who is a whole person, with interests, hobbies and opinions. Someone who loves his friends and family and has values he stands by. 

That all makes you feel even more shitty about the whole situation. You don’t want to hurt his feelings,

Plus, he’s really fucking hot. 

You look up at his face from your glass of wine and force a smile. You hope it doesn’t look too fake. Kevin leans forward and takes your hand in his. It’s dry and warm, and it feels really good. 

“What are you thinking about? You seem like you got lost in your thoughts for a minute,” he asks. He rubs your hand a little, and tilts his head in anticipation for your answer. Because, of course, he genuinely gives a fuck about what made you space out. 

He looks really beautiful in the candlelight. 

You down the rest of your wine and put the glass on the table. You decide in a split second. Ah, fuck it. 

“Yeah, I think I just felt something snap in my dress. Like, a zipper or something. I have to go to the bathroom to check it, will you go with me in case I need help? I’m not sure I can reach it,” you smile at him apologetically. 

“Sure, of course, no problem,” he agrees and gets up to follow you to the bathroom.

You open the door to the ladies room and check if it’s empty so that he can come there without hassle, then gesture to him to come inside. You find for you two an empty stall, push him in and lock the door. 

“Where exactly did you feel the zipper snap? Like, in the back? I can check it for you..” he rambles and you can’t take it anymore. You grab him by the shoulders and slam him against the stall wall. 

“There is nothing wrong with my zipper, and you better listen now. I’m at my fucking limit,” you lower your voice.  

“I had to listen to your stupid bullshit for half an hour already, which is 30 minutes too long,” you growl at him. “Do you ever stop and think about what’s coming out of your mouth? Like, think for a second and wonder, Maybe I should not say that?”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you immediately slap your hand over him to stop him. 

“No, no, no. No more talking from you, now you’re gonna listen, get it?” you ask. 

He nods, looking almost nervous, and swallows visibly. His eyes are almost bulging out. He’s definitely surprised and caught off-guard by the change of your demeanor. 

“Now, we are going to make a little deal and I will give you a choice. Either we end this date already and go home. Separately. And we will never speak again. Or, I can give you a second chance, but first you will reflect on whether every dumb thought you have needs to be said out loud and act accordingly,” you lay it down in front of him. You take your hand off his mouth, awaiting his answer. 

“The- the second, please,” he stutters out. He’s all red and embarrassed. 

However, what you can’t see, but definitely can feel, is a boner tenting his slacks. 

“Okay, but just know I’m giving you another chance only because you’re really cute and seem like a nice person,” you frown. “One more thing though. You have to apologize to me for wasting my time with your dumb rambles today.” 

“H-how?” 

“Very simple,” you grab the front of his shirt roughly and flip you both, so that you’re the one leaning on the wall. 

“On your knees,” you command and push on his shoulder, so that he kneels in front of you. 

And he does. He slowly, hesitantly falls on his knees on the ground, looking at your face, as if he weren’t sure if he heard you correctly.

You push up your tight dress and at that moment he snaps out of it and rushes to help you, taking off your panties for you. 

He doesn’t waste a second to kiss up your thighs, nuzzling into them and licking and sucking, leaving little marks on your skin. 

“You’re so beaut- ahhh!” you interrupt him by grabbing his hair. You pull him away from you and look into his eyes. 

“I said no talking,” you frown and push his head to your pussy. At least now he gets the hint and starts licking you, collecting all your wetness on his tongue and savoring your taste. 

You’ve already been so wound up from the adrenaline and also the fact that you’re in a public restroom, you know you’re not gonna last very long, so you close your eyes and enjoy how his tongue flicks quickly over your clit, getting you close at a rapid pace. After a little while, he must be getting tired, but he’s not stopping, only sometimes switching from using his tongue to sucking gently. It makes you feel so warm and everything is wet and you’re already almost there.

Clearly, he’s trying to earn that second date. 

You look down and for a moment just enjoy the sight of Kevin eating pussy eagerly, not saying a word. He looks so pretty like that with hair mussed up, cheeks red, barely breathing as his face is pressed closely to your body. You can see the hints of glimmering wetness on the lower part of his face, obscured by your body.

“See? You can be good for me, maybe you’re worth keeping…” you sigh and he moans in reply, but you let that one slide. Seeing the movement of hand sneaking down to touch his cock, although only over the pants, but clearly rubbing and squeezing with the purpose of getting himself off, you finally come, holding his head at your pussy so he doesn't even think of stopping or slowing down. 

Your orgasm has barely stopped ringing in your ears when you notice him gasping as he comes inside his pants, his face buried in your crotch still. His hips are barely humping the air as he’s rubbing his cock through his orgasm, finally slumping down when he’s finished. 

You smile brightly at him, as he kneels, spent and sweaty and ruined in front of you. There is a stain spreading in front of his dark slacks that will be only barely concealed by the restaurant’s low light.

You grab him by his shirt again and get him to stand, which he does, almost in haze, still not over his own orgasm. You pull him closer and kiss him deeply, so that you can taste yourself in his mouth. 

“So, about that second date….”

[peepslibrary]

Introducing~ Lay Bankz

This is probably one of the funniest things I've ever written. I guess this qualifies as a song fic? If you've been on tiktok a couple months ago, you'd probably recognize this song.

Synopsis: What would happen if the LU boys heard the song Ick?

Warnings: Explicit lyrics, mentions of sex

Y'all can thank @trippygalaxy for this.

... Why is there a portal right outside the camp?

Why is there

a

PORTAL-

You're fairly confident the whole town heard your sigh and the chain's groans as y'all packed everything up and linked hands to go through the stupid portal. The other side of the portal was - in fact - NOT another Hyrule. It was a stadium. A stadium filled to the brim with people, a gigantic stage, and multicolored lights moving all around. Ok wait- the portal might've been the least of your problems.

The group looks around with emotions varying from confused to overstimulated. Honestly, if you squint you could see their braincells work together. You turn around, doing a quick headcount. “Wait, where’s Wind?” You count again and… nope still 9 including you. Fuck

I don't mean to judge off a first impression. Or his part-time job at 7/11. But he's a broke-ass peasant ask-

You feel your eyebrows furrow. Where do you know this song??

(ick) and he's got bad credit (ick) and he got a foot fetish (ick) DNR, but he tryin' paramedic

Shit... that's where you recognize this from. Tiktok

You're quick to move and cover Sky’s ears, making a silent prayer to whatever poor soul is listening. You need to get everyone out. You guys need to find Wind and you're fairly confident that everyone present will get red in the face when they register the lyrics.

"Time." Thankfully he managed to hear you despite the current situation. You see him angle his head up for a milisecond. Just subtle enough for you to reply with a tilt of your head towards an emergency exit. He doesn't hesitate to nod, moving to Wars and Twilight to help move everyone along. It's not a stretch to think that he's overstimulated with the environment. Has any of them ever heard this much noise so close?? You wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy.

Actually... Dink can kiss your ass. He's literally the one that pulled you into this craziness in your pjs. Like... dude coulda waited until you were decent t-

“Hey, what’s going on?” You curse and look up at the question-er. His eyes stuck looking at the ground, his ears lowered under your hands while his playing with the fabric of his sailcloth. “Sky I’m trying to get you guys out of-“

(Ew) Lady boner gone (Oh no), He dry humpin' me and huffin' like a dog (Hah, hah), And he whispered in my ear did I get off?

You didn’t think it was possible to cringe laugh *this* hard. But oh boy, the collective faces made shouldn’t have been that funny. Red in the face and trying to move everyone faster - incredibly hard considering they’re all standing like statues - are Time, Wars, Legend, and Twilight. Sky, Wild, Four, and Hyrule have moved to cover their own ears, with some crouched against the floor.

Somehow everyone is able to leave the stadium with only their innocence (or lack of thereof) injured, only to find Wind standing with a security guard eating a string cheese and a can of soda next to him.

“There you guys- what happened?” Wind makes his way to y’all and you use that chance to check for visible injuries, making sure no one injured him.

“Although it’s likely they would be the one injured.” Your brain supplied helpfully.

“Uhh…” you look at the group’s states, “let’s just say they weren’t expecting what was inside the stadium.” Wind nods in understanding, “Yeah, Sam wouldn’t let me in because it was ‘for adults.’” You spare a glance towards the guard, who gives a humored nod and sends you guys on your way.

[ifyouseekmyllie]

✰ ⸻ Kelsea Ballerini " Patterns " starters.

Patterns

I've got patterns.

I've got questions, I've got whys

It's in my constellations

I'm coming apart at the seams

Maybe more than I like healing I like the feeling of the feeling that leaves me staring at the ceiling the morning after.

Maybe I'm the one to blame.

Maybe I'm the one to blame for doing the same old same.

Hey, what can I say?

Is this a battle that I'll ever win?

Will I outgrow all these patterns?

Sorry Mom

Sorry mom.

You know that I had sex

You know that I had sex before I bought the white dress.

I know you're not impressed

I know you're not impressed with my lack of sticking to the bible.

Yeah, I got regrets

I turned out alright

We got into a few fights

I know it took a little tough love.

My priorities were out of balance

I wished I was home

Baggage

My heart ain't up in the air

If you want me clear out a drawer, clear out a shelf

I wouldn't want to do this with anybody else

I've got baggage, but I'm moving in

I know the weight and gravity of key chains with same keys.

Home is when you're with me

First Rodeo

I like the feeling runnin' with the wind

Damn, that showdown was embarrassing

It doesn't scare or bother you, at least it seems

Take my heart, but take it slow

This ain't my first rodeo

Love's the wild, wild, west, ain't gotta tell me that.

You make me forget about the last time.

Tell me that it's gonna be alright

Tell me that it's gonna be alright, even though we never know.

When it comes to me and you, I can't not try.

Don't let me go.

Nothing Really Matters

I get existential

I get overwhelmed

Am I caught up in the wrong things?

Am I cool enough?

Nothing really matters, we're a rock in space

Nothing really matters when I'm seeing your face

I should sleep more hours

If it makes you happy why are we so sad?

I was just thinking today

It's kind of all about the love that you get and you give away.

Leave the rest to fate

That's what really matters , anyway

How Much Do You Love Me ?

What am I in for?

If a meteor hit would you get in your car and drive to me ?

If I went insane and didn't know my name would you stay beside me?

If my jokes weren't funny, would you laugh?

How much do you love me?

I gotta ask, how much do you love me?

Do I sound needy and dramatic?

Yeah, I know that it's love but sue me for asking 'how much?'.

Two Things

We said that it's over.

Two things can be true

Two things can be true, I love and hate you

I love and hate you

I'll be your best and your worst day

I'll be your blessing and curse

You're nothing and everything I got to lose

Did you make it home?

Are you feeling alone?

Are we turning into people that we used to know?

I wish it was that easy when it comes to me and you.

We Broke Up

We met, we vibed, we jumped in

God, we were really something

Almost made it all the way, but we didn't and you know what? That's okay

Almost made it all the way but we didn't.

When it's over, it's over.

I could cry 'til I throw up

It's as simple as 'we broke up'.

Tale as old as time, don't gotta wrap my head around it.

We both could point our fingers, we'd both have one pointing back.

WAIT !

I have a nasty habit, leaving before I get left.

I'll stonewall my emotions even when I wanna cry tears as wide as the ocean.

This is just a conversation, baby, what the fuck?

I'm screaming out 'goodbye' out like it means 'I love you'

I'm better on my own.

Wait!

Wait! Don't go!

It's all I've ever known

I'm codependent with my independence through and through.

When I said, ' Just leave then,' I was only fishin'.

My head and heart are at war.

I'm a girl/boy, I'm afraid

Feelings ain't facts.

Feelings ain't facts , just the patterns of my past.

Beg for Your Love

Let me own my shit and not overshadow it

Let me own my shit

I'd follow you to the moon

You know I'm ride-or-die

If you want a chase, I won't run

I ain't gonna beg for your love

I'm trying, are you trying?

If you want 'sorry' on my knees, babe, that can't be me.

God, you can be so mean!

God, you can be so mean when I'm cryin'

Is this just way too tough?

Are you not strong enough?

You're all I want

You're all I want but not like this.

Deep

You could save me, maybe I could save myself.

What's a girl to do lookin' at you ?

If lovin' you is an ocean, then I'm in deep

Cowboys Cry Too

I've talked him down from getting in a fight or two

He's as stubborn as the weeds in the backyard

He hides his heart and hurt 'cause he kinda had to

Cowboys cry too

I grew up wishing I could close off the way my dad did

That man never felt a damn thing he didn't wanna feel

You can't outdrive pain

You can't outdrive pain, someday it's gonna take the wheel

Can't be alone but don't wanna get close to anybody

I don't wanna bare teeth but I don't wanna look weak.

I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running but I hope not

I'm afraid you'll walk away when the tears start running.

I Would, Would You

I wanna be the one that you're callin' when you're drunk

That's what you do when you love someone

That's the choice you choose when you love someone

Can't you see I'm true blue?

Life is short, life is long, but it's better with you here.

If somebody does you wrong, hold my beer

when we're 95 years old divorced and newlyweds, yeah I'd still die for you and haunt you when I'm dead.

I'd still die for you and haunt you when I'm dead

We lost count of all the 'that's what friends are for'.

This Time Last Year

I was learning' all the harder ways

Hittin' the town didn't hit the spot

I gave hell a piece of my mind , it gave me a hit to my pride

I gave hell a piece of my mind

I came out on the other side

I lost a couple good friends

The heartbreak was undeniable

People thinkin' that I've changed

Thank God I've changed

Did You Make It Home ? ( Outro )

Are you safe on the road you chose?

Did you make it home?

Is it where prayers go when you pray 'em?

I'm thinking of you as you go.