#I think im just bi and confused yall

[starclips-inmyhair]

has anyone ever had that moment where you question your friends’ sexualities and over the next two months you find out 90% of them are fruity and in relationships with other fruit filled homosapiens

[giverofempathy]

besties i'm in a Situation and idk what to do

[louisprideflag]

x

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. 4 (a.a)

wc;cw: 7k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap(oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi<3, slight angst yall know the deal, brief mentions of familial death, cigarettes, nasty sloppy sex MDNI, dubcon(they sipped a little), couch action :p, eating out no taco bell(pussy and ass), tribbing, meantop!abby, strength kink, lots of dirty talk, breeding kink😳😳, mult. orgasms, BREEDING STRAP(idk how they work im sowwie if it’s not accurate :/), slight d!p, body fluids(spit, fake and real cum LOL), UNPREPPED ANAL PLS DONT DO THIS, dumbification, degradation kink, pain kink it’s me duh, hair pulling, slapping, slight mirror sex??

The holiday season passed, and you were standing on Abby’s porch with your tail between your legs and exhaustion weighing you down. 

You’ve never been… nervous to see Abby. Whenever you arrived at her home, you were eager and desperate to be in her presence so she could take care of you, but now you were nauseas at the thought of using her that way. And it was all your fault. 

You haven’t spoken to her since the Christmas party. You didn’t know what to say. How do you approach somebody that you think hates you after an encounter like that? She went from rightfully kicking you out of her home to rubbing your pussy through your pants without care. In front of your entire family despite your mutual rules, and you didn’t even care enough to stop her. It almost felt like you switched places for the night: she was impulsive and irresponsible, and you allowed her to be, just like how she used to when she handled your demanding attitude. You wished she touched you more before she respectfully departed your parents’ home. 

You wanted to speak with Abby properly. You never thought you would be willing to sacrifice your kryptonite once you found it, but she didn’t deserve to be dragged along and solve your problems anymore. Your heart still hurts at the thought of making her cry and leaving her to it. You’re such an idiot. 

You called her before you showed up, but she didn’t answer. You don’t blame her for being distant, but she deserves an in-person explanation as to why you should never see her again. You’re a trainwreck and you need to deal with that alone, no matter how exhausting the journey would be. 

The sun was setting when you finally exited your car knocked on her door, looking down at your scuffed boots that dug into the melting ice on her porch. You wanted to check to see if her key was still in the same spot under her rug, but you refrained. Your heart filled when you noticed her unique little Christmas decorations still dangling from her door and windows. She loved her flowers, for sure.

When the door yanked open, your heart dropped, and your stomach did somersaults. 

Abby was dolled up in a red dress under a black trench coat with matching red nails and shoes, sparkling jewelry, and her hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail that cascaded down the back of her neck. She looked fucking gorgeous, and your throat went dry. She leaned against the frame as she eyed you, shock evident on her face. 

Don’t fold, don’t fold, don’t fold!

You watched her surprise swiftly shift into confusion and… aggravation? Your heart sunk further into the floor, but you held her gaze. 

“What’re you doing here?” 

Her voice made your heart squeeze painfully; You missed it terribly, regardless of how stiff she sounded. 

You took a shuddering breath, “… Hi, Abby.” 

She ignored your greeting, “What are you doing here?” She sounded like she was in a rush, and you wanted to cry. 

You swallowed harshly, “I-I know you’re probably busy, but I’m— “

“Look, I can’t deal with this right now. I have somewhere to be,” she quietly huffed with agitation like someone would hear, adjusting the shining watch on her wrist to check the time. You could feel her pulling away. 

It felt like every cell in your body was dying, your brain fighting on its last legs to conjure up a reply to get her to stay and speak with you. You would’ve dropped down to your knees if it wasn’t freezing. Is this how she felt whenever you would shut her down to fuck? Nausea came in waves. 

“I don’t,” you weren’t shaking from the cold. “I don’t wanna do anything. I just wanna… apologize.” 

She rolled her eyes at you, “Keep it. Are you done? I gotta leave soon.”

You were motionless, your hands squeezed into fists in your coat pockets as tears jerked in your eyes and lips quivered. Don’t fucking cry!

Your brain didn’t fight hard enough because she shook her head when you didn’t comment, reaching for the door to slam it in your face. It forced you into action, shoving your arm between the open space to stop the wood from shutting completely. You couldn’t control the panic you felt at the thought of her hating you. You don’t remember the last time you cried like this. 

“A-Abby, please, I’m so sorry, I can’t,” your heaving picked up as you sobbed to her. “I can’t stop thinking a—bout you and I feel awful and I know you hate me, and you s-should but’m so sorr—y. Please, I can’t— “

Abby seemed unsure through your watery gaze, the tensity in her face dropping slowly as she gauged you. You felt her wrap a light hand around your bicep as you broke down, ushering you inside with soft shushes. 

You listened and followed her guide to the couch, taking a seat as you cried out your apologies to her. Your wails overpowered the volume of her coos; She was too fucking nice. 

She stood over your sitting form, her soft, rose-scented hands holding your chin as she massaged the back of your pounding head. “Shhh, stop crying, stop.”

Your eyes met hers, and your heart burned, “M’sorry— “

She sighed, “We’re gonna… we’re gonna talk, okay?” 

You nodded, sniffing harshly. You didn’t deserve her hospitality, and you felt guilty accepting her courtesy. Had you really been so heartless to such a gentle soul?

She hummed, “Want some water?” 

You didn’t answer. 

She took your silence as approval and made her way to the kitchen. 

You calmed down. Slightly. Abby was able to remove your coat and boots without fuss; You were too busy blowing your nose with the soft tissues she handed to you. 

Abby sat next to you on the couch, earrings, coat, and heels removed and slung on the floor near the coffee table. She allowed you to take some sips of your water before she spoke, voice as soft as ever. 

“Okay to talk?” 

You nodded, setting your glass down on the decorative table and using your sleeves to wipe your still wet face. 

You took a deep breath. A few deep breaths, and she let you. 

But when you finally opened your mouth to speak, her phone rang. 

Both your eyes darted towards the coffee table; a contact named DON’T ANSWER read across the screen. Your brows furrowed in confusion, eyes gliding between her and her device. You’ve never seen Abby have a negative reaction towards anyone except you; Who did she not want to answer? 

She sighed heavily, reaching towards her phone to mute the ringing. A few moments of silence passed, and the call ended, but the caller popped up again. 

She tsked, reaching for her device with agitation. She answered it, annoyance evident in her tone. 

“I'm not coming. Stop calling me.” 

Your ears perked with intrigue. Was she meant to meet with someone tonight? She sounded so upset. 

Some distant ramblings came through her earpiece before she shot back at the person she was speaking to, “I don’t care. It’s not up to you!” 

The person got louder with her, the voice masculine. You saw Abby roll her eyes as she listened to the shouts. Why was she getting screamed at?

She spat nastily at the man before hanging up. “Fuck you. Don’t call me anymore tonight.”

She turned her phone off and tossed it onto the longue chair near the TV before turning back to you, the flame in her eyes slowly extinguishing. 

“Sorry,” she breathed awkwardly, massaging her temples. 

You shook your head, “Don’t apologize, I’m in your home. You can do what you want.” 

She hummed at you, her expression suddenly distant. She wasn’t looking at you, but at the hand that rested on your knee. Why was that making your body hot?

“I really came at a bad time, huh?” You huffed.

“Mhm,” she answered before backtracking. “I hate talking to him.” 

You spoke before you could think, “Who was it?”

“My ex.”

Your heart frosted over. 

“H-Husband?”

She nodded slowly, like it brought her shame to admit. You don’t know why that made your stomach churn with something red. Something fiery that you never felt. How long were they still in contact? You knew they weren’t on good terms due to Abby’s past dismissal of your questions about their past, but now you were really confused about where they stood. 

“D’you still talk to him?” 

“You interrogating me?” You stiffened at her tone, darkly sarcastic. Fuck, stop fucking up! 

You shook your head incessantly, “Not at all! Just… yeah, I don’t know why I asked that.” 

“What an honest lawyer,” you saw her lips curl upward into a smirk, and you exhaled a sheepish laugh, your hands squeezing into fists on your lap. She’s fucking gorgeous. 

“Not a lawyer yet.” 

She bit playfully, “Gonna be soon.” 

You made a noise in agreement before silence passed between you.

Abby’s voice made you look up. “We don’t see each other often, my ex and I. Not anymore at least.”

“… Oh. What were you guys going to do tonight?”

Abby shrugged, “Get drunk. Fuck probably.” 

You probably looked calm on the outside, but you felt every organ in your body burn like fire at her admission. You were stiff, your nails digging into your palms as grounding. Why are you getting so fucking pissed over them communicating? The fuck?

You couldn’t help yourself, “How come?” 

“It’s winter. We’re lonely and miss our daughter.” 

You felt like you were dunked into a bottomless tub of ice water. Your brain went into overdrive and your throat closed like you were going to cry again. 

She shook her head like nothing mattered, “Not the best coping mechanism, but.” 

“A-Abby— “

She cut you off, tone hushed, “We shouldn’t meet anymore, but he just… gets it. Gets me and what I’m still going through. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get rid of him no matter how much I hate his guts.” 

You sat there and listened. This is the most personal conversation you’ve had with Abby since the first time you met. You finally met her eyes, waves of emotion flowing through them like ocean waves; You were here, and you wanted to listen to her. I’m sorry for shutting you down in the past. Please talk to me. 

You placed an encouraging hand on her bare shoulder, and she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut as you squeezed. She was so tired; You recognized exhausted stiffness from anywhere. 

“He’s the only… person I have, honestly. It’s really weird,” she huffed a laugh, rubbing her nose. “We had her alone, we raised her alone, I buried her without him, and now we just… drag each other along in our grief. She died such a long time ago and we’ve made no progress, but I can’t… I can’t leave him.” 

You could hear the pain in her voice as she spoke, and it tore you to pieces. You can’t imagine what the two of them went through after such a grave loss; You knew it was your parents’ biggest fear. You had no idea how to talk her through this wave she was experiencing, but both your hands flew down to grab hers in her lap. You rubbed and squeezed them tight, hoping she would accept your presence again. You have me! I’m here, too. I'm sorry I wasn't before, but I am now. 

She looked down at your locked fingers, shocked at the gesture. She released a shuddered breath and squeezed back, grabbing your hand like you would slip away. 

She continued, her eyes glossy, “We always meet up around this time of year. For anything. For sex, to cry together. We could spend hours yelling and screaming at each other and then walk out of each other’s lives like nothing happened, just to do it all over again. I’m so… fucking tired.”

You shook your head in understanding. She needed comfort, some solace, a distraction just as much as you did, even if it’s only for a second. You wish you knew a better way to appease her emotional needs, but you didn’t. You didn’t know what to say, so you did what you should’ve done a long time ago. 

She confided in you, and you listened to all of it. 

Abby pulled out an expensive bottle of wine some time ago. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

Abby’s laugh was music to your ears, “I can’t believe I fucking did that!”

You shook your head as you beamed at her, “You don’t know how shook I was! I thought I was hallucinating! I don’t know what my cousin put in that fucking blunt, but I was on my ass the rest of the night.” 

You and Abby were facing each other, knees touching on the couch, in hysterics about the… events at the Christmas party. She tossed her expensive watch somewhere earlier, her posture content as she leaned back against the arm of her couch. You thought your first conversation after your argument would be much more unnerving, but you were both at ease and light. And a little tipsy. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been at her house, but you didn’t want to leave. You’re so glad you came to see her. 

Her hands flew to cover her face, her face burning red, “I’m sorry. Aghh, I fuckin’ cringe. Jesus.”

You shrugged, “Great memories.” 

She hummed in agreement, her head tilting as her eyes wandered all over your face. Your face warmed, “You look pretty with your hair up.” 

She raised a brow at you, “Oh?”

“Um… yes,” you replied sheepishly. 

“I think that’s the first compliment you’ve given me,” she joked, but that made your heart hurt. 

“You’re really pretty, Abby,” you replied instantly, tone quiet as your heartbeat picked up. Her expression softened when she called out your name. 

You shook your head, eyes dropping to your hands in your lap, “I'm really sorry for yelling at you.” 

Her hand came up to lift your chin, “Hey. I’m not upset anymore. We’re gonna be fine, okay?” 

You nodded, eyes flickering between her mouth and eyes. She whispered your name again, thumb caressing your face. 

“Yes?” 

She whispered, inching forward slightly, “… How much trouble would I get in for kissing you right now?” 

Your tummy instantly swirled, and you grinned, “I dunno. A pretty good amount, I think.” 

She moved closer, tongue rolling over her lips as she eyed your mouth. 

Your breath shuddered, hand coming up to grab her wrist. You whispered as your face burned, “Kiss me?”

She snorted. Her nose brushed against yours, a smirk plastered on her face as she sniffed, “Yeah?”

Your core squeezed in approval. Abby released the hold she had on your face, strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. You followed, straddling her lap, arms looping around her neck. You could see the skirt of her dress riding up from beneath you when she stretched her legs out. She smelled like roses and Barolo. 

“Hi,” she whispered with a grin. 

You smiled back at her, “Hi.”

Her lips brushed against yours, “Kiss me.” 

You cheesed, mischievously pecking her cheek, and she stared at you blankly. You giggled and pinched her squishy cheeks. 

“Kiss me for real,” she scolded lightly. 

You snorted, poking the space where her dimples are, “Mmm, nah. changed my mind, actually.” 

“Oh yeah? Don’t wanna kiss me?” Her voice lowered. 

Goosebumps rose on your skin, but you shook your head at her anyway. Your defenses weakened when her grip tightened on your hips and head dropped, planting soft kisses down the expanse of your neck. You could feel her nails tickling the sensitive skin on your back as she softly caressed you. Your eyes went glossy. 

She mumbled against your neck, “Missed you.”

Your heart fluttered. You breathed, “Really?” 

“Mhm, couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. Doesn’t matter how much you get on my fucking nerves,” her hands slowly crawled up your waist. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

How does she speak her mind so easily?! “Miss—missed you too.”

“Missed me touching you like this?” 

You nodded quickly, and her tongue swiped up the side of your neck. You breathed heavily in her ear, eager to touch her. You pulled back so you could see her face, friskiness dissipating when you connected your lips. She purred in your mouth, lips molding against yours as you grinded on top of her, her red lipstick transferring onto your mouth. 

You grabbed her soft cheeks in your hands, gasping when her hands slid down to grab your ass through your jeans. Her tongue licked into your mouth, and your toes curled in your socks. You missed kissing her so badly. 

She was kissing you stupid, tugging the hair at the back of your head as she sucked your bottom lip. You shakily brought your hands up to her ponytail to undo the elastic, and her locks fell down her back like liquid. Your arms wrapped around her neck to kiss her deeper, pulling tightly at her soft strands. 

She moaned into your mouth, sucking on your bottom lip, “Need some head?”

You nails dug into her shoulders, “Y-You don’t have t— “

She rolled her eyes, “It’s not for you, it’s for me. I was just tryna be polite.” 

Well.

“But I wan—“ 

Her hand came up to grab your chin. Fuck, you love when she does that. “Don’t care what you want actually. Lay down.”

You scurried off her like she was on fire, lying flat on the couch and ripping your sweater over your head, tossing it into the pile on the floor. Abby stood as you unbuttoned her jeans. You secretly watched as she unzipped her dress and allowed it to fall down her body. She was completely bare underneath. Your eyes followed the thin trail of hair that led down to her wet cunt, and it made you hot… in more ways than one; She was on a mission tonight, for sure. 

You shoved your jealousy down; She didn’t owe you anything, especially loyalty. You stared down at your busy hands.

You kicked your jeans off, a sock clumsily catching in your pant leg before they hit the floor. You were not prepared for spontaneous sex at all; One lonesome weed sock, panties with chocolate bars on them, and a gray lounge bra. 

You awkwardly scratched your ear and waited for Abby to move, but she didn’t. You looked up at her and noticed her just… staring at your torso. Her expression was unreadable as she took your body in, but you were about to die from her searing ogle. Your face was torched, even more so when she brought a gentle hand up, hooked her middle and index finger into the band of your bra. 

Her eyes bore into yours, silently asking for permission, and you nodded. She bit her lip, slowly raising the elastic band up your chest until your breasts dropped out. She played with the two of them, dark red nails digging into the soft skin, pinching at your nipples. You couldn’t stop squirming, watching her hand move on your body. You lifted your bra over your head and laid the bundled fabric over the back of the couch. 

“Turn over, baby. Wanna see something,” she barely whispered, patting your thigh encouragingly. 

You listened, flipping onto your hands and knees as she climbed on the couch behind you. You sighed happily when she massaged your ass in both hands, rubbing and pulling at your covered cheeks. You peered over your shoulder to watch her pull your sticky panties to the side. She was eyeing your pussy like she wanted to swallow you whole before her eyes flickered an inch up. She was staring at… 

Oh. Oh. 

You jokingly snarked at her, “Find whatchu lookin’ for?” 

Her eyes pierced through yours before she slapped the fuck out of your ass. Your body jerked forward at the force, eyes squeezing shut and groaning at the seering sting. Your head dropped on the arm of the couch.

She sneered at you, “I still feel some typa way. Be nice.” 

You gasped out, “M’so— “

“You’re sorry,” She squealed out mockingly. “I know. Be still.” 

She yanked your panties down your thighs, “Put your head down.” 

You dropped your head onto your crossed arms in front of you. Her hand rubbed down your spine to deepen your arch, pulling your hips farther up. 

“Hold it open for me, baby.” 

You whimpered and reached down between your legs, spreading the drippy folds of your cunt to expose your clit. You heard her curse behind you before you felt slow massages on your clit. They were so delicate, almost ticklish, and it made you shiver. 

Your walls squeezed down and you heard her moan behind you. She rubbed a bit faster, the soft, squishy noises from your cunt filling the room. You tried to push back on her fingers, but she harshly dug her nails into your hip to hold you still, pulling her fingers away from you. 

“Abby, please— “

She ignored you, prying your lips apart with her thumbs. Her breath hit your cunt as she slurred, “You trust me?” 

You nodded incessantly, “Yeah, baby, trust you, fuck, I trust you— “

Her lips sucked around your clit, and you bucked back on her face with force. She wasted no time, shoving two of her fingers inside you and curling them. She poked and prodded at your walls as she flicked your throbbing bud and holy fuck, you missed her so fucking bad—

You couldn’t help the noises that left your mouth when she hit your spot dead on, your walls milking her fingers with eagerness. You cried out her name as your orgasm pulled from deep within your gut, your fingers curling into fists into her couch cushions. The sounds your cunt made were becoming louder as your moans crescendo, your hips moving on their own accord to get her deeper inside you. 

Her tongue slowed on your clit, slowly licking up towards your entrance and… passed your entrance. She moved up, up, and her wet muscle swiped over your ass—

A sharp gasp shot through you, your head whipping around to face her. On any other occasion, she would’ve halted everything and checked in on you, but her fingers didn’t stop. Her thrusts were harsh and unrelenting, her eyes cutting through you, “Fuckin’ trust me, right?”

You sobbed when she slapped your still burning cheek, nodding your consent with tears streaming down your face. She didn’t hesitate to lick over your hole, her tongue sliding back and forth over the puckered entrance. 

“Abby, fuckfuckfuck, oh fuck— “

She hummed against your hole and your head dropped on the cushions completely, using your bent elbows as leverage to fuck back onto her face. 

She mumbled nastily against you, “Just needa be slutted out, baby? Yeah?” 

You could only whine and sob in reply before the strong squeezes of your orgasm built and built. You were right fucking there you just needed her to—

Her tongue shoved inside you, and your body seized and tensed under the pressure of your orgasm. It wracked through your body in waves as you wailed into the pillows beneath you, both sets of walls contracting through your pleasure. Your cunt milked her fingers with urgency, your juices dripping out of your entrance and down Abby’s wrist. She tongued you through the aftershocks. 

She slowly brought you back down as your pulses slowed, planting a kiss on the back of your thigh before pulling out. Exhaustion took over your body as she helped you get onto your back, your head propped up on the pillows behind you. You kicked your dangling panties off and allowed her to lift your leg over her shoulder. She climbed on top of you, straddling your resting thigh. You looked up at her and… the large vein in her biceps made you shiver. 

“A-Abby?” 

She grabbed your tit, “Hm.”

You whimpered, “Are you a gym rat?”

She snorted, a grin spreading across her pretty face as she massaged the soft skin. “Errr… yes? When I wanna be. Why do you ask?”

Throw me across the room! You eyed her bulging vein, “Nothin’.” 

She smirked down at you, “Mhm.” 

… Did she just flex her bicep what the fuck—

You didn’t even have a chance to think before her pussy rubbed up against yours, and nearly cried when you saw your sopping cunts connect, sighs of satisfaction leaving your mouths when your clits bumped up against each other, bonded by strings of slick. You grabbed her thigh for support, digging your nails into her soft skin as her grinds increased in pace. 

Your throbbing bud jerked with each pass of her hips. You did everything in your power to keep your eyes open so you could watch her: her head was tossed back with her lip between her teeth, her defined stomach tensing and she fucked you. She looked so desperate to cum, to feel so good that she forgets everything. She kept taking and taking like you never allowed her to, and you never wanted it to end. 

“Your pussy feels s’good, shit,” she grinded down on you harder as she gazed at the ceiling. “Gonna make me cum— “

“Cum on me, Abby? Please cum on my pussy?” You whimpered up at her as your eyes grew heavy, and she slumped over the pillows, strong arms holding her up as she used you to fuck herself. She was getting louder, and you were squeezing as your second orgasm approached. Her pussy was hitting you right where you needed, right on your clit and you were about to—

You saw a screen flash out the corner of your eye as your device blared, and the drop of your heart matched the tight grip of your pussy. 

Abby was close, and your dad was calling.

Abby was too deep in her pleasure to notice as she begged you to cum with her, grabbing at your tits and yanking your nipples. Your pleasure kept rising and your phone wouldn’t stop fucking ringing—

“Fuck, baby, oh god, m’cumming!—“

Abby’s scream sent you off, your eyes rolling back, and your core squeezing with all you had to give. She was fucking you so hard through your euphoria, crying your name as you did the same. She was hitting your clit so good, you couldn’t breathe. 

Your ears were ringing so loud that you couldn’t hear the second call coming in, and you didn’t care. Your hips bucked as much as they could to meet hers, helping her ride out her intense orgasm. The harder you pushed up, the more you could feel her pussy pulsating. It sent another wave of pleasure through you. 

The feeling eventually subsided, the contractions in your cunt easing into light jerks. Abby caught her breath before moving off and plopping on top of you as she breathed heavily in your ear. You brought a hand up to rub her scalp, twirling her hair around your index finger as her scent infiltrated your senses. Your phone was finally quiet. 

“Can I fuck your ass?” 

Her heavy exhale made your spine bend. You could feel her smile against your neck. 

You were about to pass out, and it wasn’t from your insomnia. 

Abby carried you upstairs to her bed, and eventually got your legs over her shoulders while she lubricated her deep blue strap… with a slit at the incredibly fat tip? She never used this one with you before. It was veiny, curved, and thick; How the hell was that going to fit in your ass!

You knew one of her darkest secrets was cumming inside of somebody, but you didn’t know she meant it. You couldn’t stop thinking about all the times she moaned about cumming inside you. Knocking you up. She was really going to—

“Stop staring at my dick, it’s rude,” she said blankly. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet hers, “Sorry.” 

She snickered, “I’m kidding, relax.” 

How could you relax when she was jerking off in front of you! Her hands are so pretty on her dick, and you could cry right now because of it!

You squealed when she slapped it on your clit, the silicone getting drenched in her flavored lube and your slick. Your pussy squeezed in anticipation; She was about to destroy your cunt and you couldn’t think, holy shit, you missed her so badly—

She breathed eagerly, “You know what to do, baby.” 

You nodded, reaching down to hold your pussy open for her. She lined her tip up at your entrance, “Need this dick?”

“Fuck yes— “

She cooed, “Yeah? Want me?”

You looked up at her, your head bobbing up and down like you were entranced. You wanted her so much. Too much. The look of pride in her eyes was going to stay in your memory forever. 

“Fucking say it,” she spat.

“Want you inside me, baby, please fuck me!”

She popped the tip in, and you moaned as pleasurable pain rushed through you. She took her time easing into you, allowing you to feel every ridge of her dick against your walls. The veins in the silicone were catching on your walls and it made you squeeze down tight. 

She paused and kissed your ankle, “Ease up, baby. C’mon.” 

“Can’help it, fuck, splittin’ me open,” your tongue felt so large in your mouth. 

“Fuck, missed wrecking this pussy,” she moaned out, staring down at the way your walls choked her length. 

She pushed an inch deeper, and you nearly shouted. 

She smirked, “Right there?”

You were drooling onto your chest as you craned up to watch how you connected. She was pressed right up against the spot that made you see stars, and you felt the beginnings of your orgasm stirring in your gut. 

She pushed inside until she was fully submerged in your juices, your slick coating the entire toy when she pulled out, only to fuck back into you again. She stretched you out until you were grabbing at her hip, trying to pull her deeper into you. She wrapped her arms around both of your calves and drilled in your guts, only pulling out a few inches before shoving back in. 

The power of her thrusts was causing the flowery headboard to bang up against the wall, the soggy noises of your cunt and squeals of pleasure filling the room. She was battering your pussy completely, and you couldn’t do anything to stop her. 

“Pussy’s pushing me out,” she garbled with a limp tongue. “Feel good, baby? Can’t take it?” 

You couldn’t find the strength to respond, nails digging into her soft blankets as she transported you to another dimension, sparkles and glitter exploding behind your eyelids as your unannounced orgasm shook your spirit, “Can feel you cummin’, shit.” 

Her voice was muffled from the ringing in your ears. You could barely register her pulling out and grabbing her girth, quickly rubbing her wet tip on your clit to rub you through your orgasm. You felt speckles of droplets land on your ass and the covers beneath you, eyes crossed in your skull and the taste of copper in your mouth from biting your lip too hard. 

She didn’t let you recover before she released your legs, pinning them down to your chest by the back of your knees, nearly folding you in half and shoving back into your wetness with a disgusting noise.

She bounced you on her cock like a weightless ragdoll, your body shifting up her bed with force. She hit so deep whenever she fucked like this. Her tip was nudging your cervix whenever she dug in deep, the pain plunging into you like a knife as tears filled your eyes and pleasure sizzled all the way down to your toes.

“Gonna cum in this fuckin’ pussy, oh my god— “

You couldn’t help the babbles that came from you, drooly yesyesyesyess’ coming from you, “Yeah, baby? Need me to fill your pussy up?”

You nearly passed out at the thought of her stuffing you, your orgasm built until it crashed into you, snatching the wind in your body as you let out a quiet scream. Your lashes were fluttering, and spit was sliding down your cheek, completely dumb under her. 

And then you felt a thin stream of liquid shoot inside your pulsing cunt. You swore you flatlined. 

Your orgasm only intensified at the feeling of her creaming inside you, her gross whispers making the hairs on your arms stand, “Gonna knock this slutty cunt up and send you home filthy. Want you drippin’ with it.” 

You nodded brainlessly; You’d do whatever she wanted as long as she kept fucking and filling you. Another harsh stream exploded inside you, and your juices sprayed on her lap. You went limp under her, letting her move and toss you around how she pleased. You were getting so fucking tired, but you didn’t want her to stop. 

She gave one last deep grind, poking your cervix one last time before pulling out, her gaze dropping to watch her seed spill out of your battered cunt. She pushed your legs down even further, knees nearly hitting your head as she lined her dick up at your ass, “Would marry this pussy, swear to god. It takes dick so good.” 

You only released a choked noise in approval; She could have you however she wanted! 

Her pretty brow arched cockily, “You like that? Like when I make this pussy mine?”

You shook your head so fast. It’s yours, baby! It’s all yours!

She barely pushed forward, her tip nudging your other entrance, making you squeal, “Is this mine too?” 

“Fuck yes, s’yours, baby!”

She popped in, and you sobbed. You need this, you need this, you need her—

Tears ran down to your neck as you cried, her gentle shushes caressing your ear drums like symphonies, “Such a good girl, doing so good for me, just a little more, okay?” 

You couldn’t stop moaning at the foreign sensation, “G-Gimme all of it, oh my fuckin’ god—“

“… You sure?”

She paused, only a couple inches inside as she gauged you. The gentle aura you're so used to finally returned as she massaged your thighs comfortingly, and your heart swelled. 

You spoke in one breath, “Fuck my ass, Abby, please. S’gonna make me cum again— “

“Tell me if I’m— “

“Please, baby, s’gonna hurt s-so good, gimme— “

“Okay, baby shhh, I gotchu,” she hushed you, quickly grabbing the discarded bottle of lube at your side and squeezing a messy quantity over your pulsating entrance. She tossed it somewhere and pushed in deeper, the burn sending hot shockwaves to your brain. How were you about to cum there’s no way you’re going to cum—

“A-Abby, fuck me, fuckme— “

She was whimpering with you, still pressing in, “Don’t wanna hurt you baby, shit— “

“Fuck me harder, m’so close!”

Your eyes squeezed shut when she pushed the last few inches in, sitting deep in your ass, and you came so hard. You could hear her moaning with you as she grinded you out. The cum that sat deep in your cunt was pulsing out of you with each clench, dripping down to your filled ass and coating her. You forced your eyes open so you could watch her, eyes burning with lust and her toned body drenched in sweat. 

She brought a hand down to your pussy and shoved two fingers in, curling and hitting your spot at a vigorous pace. The squelches were so loud over your pleased shouts, and you squirted all over her hand, some droplets splattering on your chest and chin. 

She yanked her fingers out to pat and spank your throbbing clit before pushing your legs back up, pulling out slowly before shoving her entire length back into you. 

Abby has never been this aggressive during sex, but she was slapping you, fucking you deep and hard, spitting on your face from where she towered over you, and you took all of it like she was paying you. Your ass was rippling on her cock, trying to make space for her cock so it could suck her in deeper. You couldn’t stop squirting, both your cum dripping out of both your holes. 

Gonna cum so hard in this ass, oh my fuckin’ god, you feel so good.

It’s mine? Say it’s mine.

Look at that dirty fucking pussy. Nasty cumslut. You love being my fucking worthless whore, don’t you? 

Just needa turn that pretty brain off? Yeah? Need me to take care of you? Fuck you stupid? 

You were thrown into one long, constant orgasm and she talked you through it. You clawed at her ass and sheets and your own tits to keep yourself grounded but it wasn’t working. You were getting her so wet, a large puddle forming underneath you as your body jerked away from her. But she held you down, made you take what she gave, made you see god. You felt so fucking good that it almost pained you. 

You could hear her moans increase in volume, not bothering to pull out as she grinded deep inside you. You knew she was close, riding her harness into completion. You used the only strength you had to turn your head to the side, making eye contact with yourself in her large dresser mirror. You looked fucked up, but you watched yourself cum before staring at Abby’s reflection. 

Her eyes were squeezed shut as she bucked into you quickly, her tits and fat on her ass shaking in the mirror. You could hear her whispering makemecummakemecum over and over again, and you shuddered when another spurt of liquid left you. 

Cum in my ass, cum in me filled your brain like a mantra.

You fought to keep your eyes open, watching the muscles in her body tighten up before she yelled out, screaming how hard she was cumming and how good your ass sucked her cum in. A line of spit left her mouth and landed on your thigh as she shuddered through her pleasure, and you felt her jizz fill your ass, the second load much larger than the first. It felt so fucking good. 

Another orgasm rushed through as you both screamed in pleasure. You tried to meet her grinds, pushing down to get her squirting dick even deeper inside. 

Abby dropped your legs and they instantly wrapped around her waist as she fell forward, resting her full weight on you as she rode out her orgasm. Her moans of your name didn’t stop, and it felt like you both were cumming for hours. She filled and filled you like you were milking her dry, draining her completely and it made you cum again. Your arms wrapped around her neck to pull her close, nails digging into the flexing muscles in her back and leaving red trails.

She screamed out a warning of another orgasm right before her body trembled on top of you. Her dick wasn't bursting in you anymore; Why did that make you sad?

Her grinds eventually slowed into twitches as you both came down. She was planting gentle kisses and sucks on your neck, her hands coming down to rub the soreness from your thighs as you massaged her scalp. 

You made sure to keep your eyes open so you wouldn’t drift off into dreamland. 

After Abby pulled out and cleaned you up, she rummaged through her underwear drawer and pulled out a Marlboro box and lighter. 

… Why were you horny again? 

Her wet, semi-leaking dick was still strapped around her waist, her now scarred backside facing you as she stuck the orange end between her lips and ignited it. You watched her through the mirror, her body instantly relaxing as she puffed silently. You looked like a cat in heat. 

She looked up and stared back at you in the reflection, taking the smoke between her index and middle finger, exhaling around her words. 

“What’re you looking at?”

You shrugged and smiled like a ditz. She shook her head at you before sticking the butt in her mouth, undoing the adjusts and stepping out of her dick. She picked it up, eyes flickering awkwardly before throwing it in her hamper. You giggled quietly.

She ashed her cig over her small trash can, before looking at you, “Come shower?”

Your heart pounded in your chest like she didn’t just obliterate your pussy and ass. You consented in silence. 

You could hear her laughing as you hobbled to the bathroom, “I coulda carried you, y’know.” 

You flipped her off. 

After washing, Abby just… held you. 

The water was still beating down on the two of you, her head resting on your shoulder as she rubbed your back. And you did the same. 

You felt so relaxed, and everything was quiet in your head, the lavender scent of her body wash surrounding the two of you. You could’ve fallen asleep right here. 

Her hushed tone surprised you. 

“Are you leaving tonight?” 

Your heart shredded to pieces at her nervous tone. She sighed in relief at your whisper. 

“No, Abby. I’m not.” 

You didn’t know what would happen when you returned home, but for now, you relished in her warm embrace as you nodded off onto her shoulder. 

You didn’t sleep alone. 

OOHHHHH im ovulating LOL 

anal whores this one’s for y’all😞😞

taggie waggies :3 @ohlawdthebirds @fibrogirlie @unangelic-thoughts @chrry1ovr @uraesthete @gravygranules @digit4lslut @machetegirl109 @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @macaroni676 @sillygooselit @nil-eena @elliesgirlll @hi2647 @fr0thycoffee @mai5mai @sweet-lover-girl

prologue. part one. part two. part three. interlude.

[tojisun]

Reader should just leave Toji and get together with mamagorou

Yeah... I remember that 😂

And now I'm thinking about how much of an f-you it would be to Simon when he reaches out to you because he hears you have a new date and its his ex; Erin.

The two girls he loves(ed) getting together and riding off into the sunset, leaving his toxic ass behind.

RIGHT?? ALSO REMEMBER THAT ONE SPECIFIC ASK WHERE READER AND MAMAGURO LEAVE TOJI’S ASS AND RAISE GUMI TOGETHER 😭😭 we were all so unserious omg

and now, imagining it with reader and erin’s situation??? yall 😭…..

no ok because imagine simon attending those dinner parties your parents host and a colleague goes, “guess you’re not the only one who goes for sorority girls, huh?” and simon is so confused, his frown growing as his new date, a sorority girl, huffs at the dig, her manicured hand reaching out to poke at jonathan to make him back off.

jonathan does with a chuckle before meeting simon’s eyes above her head. he tips his head to the side and simon follows the vague path that jonathan laid out only to see erin with—

“what?”

there, cradled beside erin, looking even prettier than he remembers, is you. your giggles pause when erin turns to whisper something to your ear, your glossed lips parting for a quiet gasp, before your eyes snap to his.

simon almost jolts in his place, feeling scrutinized as erin’s beautiful eyes also fall onto him, the dark kohl making them look sharper than he remembers.

you give him a wave, hesitant, and then you’re being whisked away by erin, the two of you stepping beside your parents who embrace erin like they’ve known her a while now.

“so,” jonathan murmurs, standing on simon’s other side. “who knew she swung that way, huh?”

“erin’s bi,” simon replies, licking the back of his teeth, and then taking a swig of his flute.

jonathan hums. “i didn’t mean her, riley.”

simon turns to him with furrowed brows, question on the tip of his tongue. jonathan chuckles, shaking his head like simon’s a lost cause.

“you didn’t think you were that subtle, did you?”

jonathan gives him one last look, lingering in a way that makes simon feel so vulnerable, before the man walks away, leaving simon with his thoughts and his quiet date who had been watching the exchange with rapt attention.

interesting.

IM GIGGLING SO MUCH WHYS THIS SO FUN TO WRITE AND THINK ABOUT AHDJEJ

[eddiediazismyhusband]

i really want a fic of eddie realising him and buck have been falling in love the entire time.

I keep seeing posts (and even had someone tell me) that it’d be unrealistic for Eddie to be in love with Buck and not realise. Like not even think of him as an option. 

But that’s such a real queer person thing- i’ve lived that experience. I’m a women and despite all the times I admired other women it took forever for it to click for me.

I mean I grew up with accepting parents and kind friends and even queer people on tv. I remember looking at girls as much as I looked at boys. And yet I still had the reoccurring thought “I could be gay, I mean i’m not- but I could be. But most people aren’t gay and i’m most people”. (gay being used here in my head to mean “not straight”) AND YET despite it all I didn’t realise i was Bi until I was much older.

And even then, I’d had at least two long term crushes without realising they were crushes before it clicked. 

(I kid you not- it took a drag queen talking to me like i was a toddler for it to click, but that’s a whole other story SO-) 

Whether or not Eddie already knows he’s gay (or demi or whatever) doesn’t really make a difference, cause it’s that same sort of heteronormative internalising that causes these feeling to not be understood. 

Especially for Eddies character who’s had this messy norm with Shannon for so long, a stable thing to grasp (even when their relationship was a mess) and then her death and him chasing to find that weak grasp to SOMETHING again- something that can be another excuse to not go looking for himself. 

Like he’s internalised this behaviour of, “if i’m in a relationship, I don’t have to look deep and figure out why it’s not working” and never quite realising that maybe the reason it’s not working is cause he’s trying to replace something that was never really real.

(Speaking of, Eddie and Shannon are the epitome of loml by taylor swift. I mean- “we were just kids babe” “from one kiss to getting married” “something counterfeits dead” “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” “i’m combing through the band of lies- “i’ll never leave” never mind”) 

babe you are speaking to the POSTER CHILD of raised in a religious household and convinced themselves they weren’t queer until it was staring them in the face

the biggest issue is that most (again i said most before yall try to jump down my throat) of the people who are against buddie are either straight people who don’t understand the nuances of queerness, or queer people who didn’t grow up in environments of oppression and have never felt the need to hide themselves

i used to tell my parents i had crushes on girls only to later realize that it was because i just had a genuine platonic connection with them (two of whom are my best friends and are also queer women) and i used to get confused about what the difference between attraction and admiration was— something a LOT of queer people go through without realizing.

comphet is literally such a widespread phenomenon that people truly don’t realize just how common it is— like even queer people don’t realize they probably know several “straight” people who are still lying to themselves bc sexuality isn’t black and white— it exists on a spectrum. I’m not saying that to invalidate anyone’s straightness, im just saying i know multiple men who are my dads age (60s +) who only recently came to the realization that they were gay.

it’s genuinely so disappointing to see some of the people in this fandom pushing homophobic talking points from history just to disprove a character’s implied queerness bc they view that character’s queerness as a threat to their ship.

anyway, i agree eddie and shannon’s relationship is soooooo unconscious lavender marriage coded to me and there are SO MANY beautiful TS lyrics that apply to that… another song that i really feel like captures Eddie’s pov of the relationship is Home by One Direction… especially these lyrics:

[wooshztro]

im just gonna say as an ally that my view on the criteria of being one is:

actually spread lgbtqia+ issues awareness

support the entire community

to like make it short and simple. obviously there's way more

i dont think you are an ally if you don't support people with 'contradicting' or 'confusing' identities. my friend tells me xey want to use xey/xem pronouns along with she/her? fuck yeah I'm using xer pronouns. my friend uses pog/pogself? fuck yeah pog thanks for trusting me enough to tell me that

oh youre a bi lesbian? hell yeah man. i don't know all the specifics of your identity and I don't fucking need to. nobody needs to.

'but its all so confusing'- take some time out of your day and research it for the love of god

i dont fully understand the community yeah, but i can show basic respect too. that's also a thing.

i dont want people to put labels on me, and one I sure don't fucking want is invalid so why would I do that to somebody else???

lgbtqia+ community, i love yall, stay strong, you are valid

[rigginsstreet]

This might be a dumb question, but what's wrong with the people who headcanon Crissy as a lesbian or Eddie as gay? (Talking about your latest post). I swear I don't mean this in a rude way

I personally head canon almost everyone without explicitly stated sexualities as bi because that's what I am and that's what I relate with. I haven't seen the latest (I'm not sure what it is exactly, a book I think?) About Eddie and his past, but I was just confused about your post.

I swear I'm not trying to come off as rude and give you anon hate, I just like looking at your posts and reblogs and don't want you to block me if I end up coming off as rude. If I do I'm really really sorry, I'm genuinely curious about why you think those headcanon are a red flag

no youre totally fine lol

its not the headcanons themselves thats a red flag. like i dont give a fuck if you think characters are gay or lesbian thats not the issue. what triggers a red flag in my brain about those particular sexualities for those characters is the st*ddie of it all and how that side of the fandom cannot be normal about those (or any) characters. ESPECIALLY when when you have eddie and chrissy being flirty on screen, you have grace and joe confirming as much, eddie dedicates his big hero moment to chrissy...and people wanna claim theyre gay/lesbian. its suspicious. i think grace has even come out and said she headcanons chrissy as bi. and like obviously actors headcanons dont equate canon (unless they explicitly say thats how they were playing a certain scene, like i think joe said he played his scene with grace in the forest as more flirty than it was written? dont quote me on that im not keeping up with these people lmao)

also the way that its like... wanting your faves to be gay, i get that. i also headcanon a lot of my fave characters as bi (because they be actin bi but thats besides the point! lmao). but ive also never fucked with labeling characters as gay/lesbian when they have established love interests of the opposite sex in a show. chrissy got herself a boyfriend AND whatever the fuck is going on with eddie, so to sit there and be like "shes a lesbian!" ... just say its because yall are looking for a reason to make st*ddie more plausible in your heads

and the crazy thing is none of this is even real! like yall do not need to be doing these backward jumps and gymnastics just ship your ship damn

after the shit show that happened after season 4? i trust no bitch. everything got a fishy smell to it

[mangoposts]

same person btw!

one day in class i told my friend that im bi (i dont use bi i use queer but its too diff to explain so i js say bi) and she completely just like made me question myself all over again?? she told me that im bi so i like trans ppl and i cant like nb/genderfluid ppl and it just made me question everything and i have fully kind of been thinking im just straight? cs she kept telling me smth abt not wanting a relationship and only wanted to fuck etc so atp idk i just know i love men and penises and i love women and boobs even tho i am fully a virgin.

I fully agree with the last sentence YALL don’t let people confuse you just say “ION KNOW YALL I LIKE EVERYBODY” And call it a day …. Because that’s what ima start doing.

[ridleyytheriddler]

im suuuper bored rn and in a mood to write so! rant! yay!

first thing i wanted to rant about - my sexual orientation (:

im ace, period. i know that for a fact. at least I'm somewhere on the spectrum, maybe demisexual? but I'm not sure, I'm not really diving into microlabels.

romantic orientation is an ENTIRELY different story...

had a crush on a boy in 3rd/4th grade, back when (i thought) i was a cishet girl. liked him until like 5th grade when my feelings sort of faded away. now, i was virtual schooled through 5th and 6th so i didn't really like anyone in sixth grade but i spent a lot of time exploring queerness in general- like my nonbinary awakening happened sometime in like January/February of 2022 (though i did first label myself as a demigirl, it still falls under the enby umbrella).

i entered seventh grade as a closeted aroace enby and went through about 3/4 of the year without any major crushes (i had a platonic interest in a boy that i misinterpreted as a crush). i didn't really label my romantic attraction because i didn't need to.

however, as the end of the school year approached, i started feeling uncomfortable. i wanted to know who i was, and the only valid part of my identity had been my asexuality, since i knew that i liked a boy in the past so how could i be aro? i was drowning in a whirlpool of invalidation and not feeling queer enough.

so, i go to the first camp of the year, a writing camp, filled with TONS of queer people. i loved it there, but seeing so many people around me, sure of their identities, made me die more inside.

sooo, a couple days after i was accused of flirting with my friend (who happened to be a boy), i "discovered" i liked a girl. she was pretty, she was smart, she was blonde, she was sporty. i texted her a lot (even after camp was over). i put hearts around her contact name. but "liking" her didn't feel thrilling and it didn't feel happy. to put it simply, it felt like a fucking punishment. talking to her made me feel like i wasn't enough.

so after going through about a month of emotional turmoil and dying inside and bragging to my friends about how i liked a girl, i headed to my first sleepaway camp of the summer, a church camp, ironically enough. and THERE. THERE i fell. not in love, but probably the realest crush i'd had. there weren't really butterflies, so to speak, but if you looked at a picture with the two of us in it, you would see me gazing at her (lets call her M) with literal heart eyes. we'd started quietly chatting while our mutual friends were off doing other stuff, and ended up bonding with each other despite how the only thing we shared was our introverted-ness. and I'm not even that introverted. we're polar opposites. we still text each other almost every day, and i had hopes she liked me back, aaaaaaaaand she doesn't but. here comes part two of my rant.

my crush doesn't like me.

and i don't even feel the tiniest bit sad about it.

this is probably the most confused i've ever been. i know i like her. maybe it's because her "rejection" was so soft it didn't even feel like one. i don't know. it's complicated, but my best friend had been cheering me on to tell her, so i did. and i was honestly divided as to whether she liked me or not- at times she acted like she did but other times she didn't. honestly, i think I'm just hopeful that she likes me

anyway thats not the point-

so. after writing this THERAPUTIC post, i have discovered that:

i am aroace and proud 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

im nonbinary (and proud, but I've known that for a while)

I'm confused

but I'm 100% queer. whether I'm lesbian or straight or bi or something, i am queer! and I'm tired of feeling invalidated by being compared to the people out there who are out and proud with all their labels. i don't need to be exactly like them to be queer and be myself.

to put it poetically, "our friendship is worth more than being in any relationship." I'm going to write a poem about that now. good night yall <3 or even good morning/afternoon.

[toruland]

watching this girl talk about how gen z is more open to exploring their sexualities and moving around on the spectrum of it all, and now that im thinking about it, i gotta keep it real with yall (the voices and the 4 people that see my posts)

hetero porn is not appealing…..

i just don’t find it to be all that attractive 😭 smth about it doesn’t do it for me at all. even before i knew that i was bi (and eventually pan), the only het. porn i really watched was like, when mainly the girl was getting pleasured? i wasn’t really there for the guy, which confused me cause bruh?? don’t you like dudes? 😭 (this was also before my gender debacle.)

tbr, for the most part, i only watch solo stuff. and by solo stuff, i mean solo girls. i just wanna to see a queen get what she wants without someone else’s help <3 i will occasionally watch a guy, but only if they’re a moaner….gotta have some kind of stimulus since i ACTUALLY wish i was seeing pussy rn, yknow (¬､¬)

now, im kinda more open to it? like if i see a nice vid on twitter or smth, im like, ‘alright!’ but just know…

any kind of LGBTQ+ porn is WAYYYYYYYY better.

no shade though ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

[graffiti-spelt-right]

2 3 8 9 11 17 18 21 🔥🔥 (-🧱)

HOLY SHIT 🧱 MOD!

I have questions for you!!! Do you have a grumblr blog? Is 🧱 anyone around???? Thabk you for taking an interest in my guy i love your asks!

Now to your questions

2. What's your oc's orientation? (Romantic/sexual/platonic alterous ect) Do they have opinions about it?

Human GT would label himself as bi, troll GT would say pan if he knew what that means, he really doesnt care about other peoples genders at all

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

I dont have a whole lot to say about his sexuality so i might answer most or all of these for gender instead cause GT is very trans

If he didn't "always know" he sure did figure it out young, he spent the first few (very few, like 2) sweeps hanging out with only girl(s), so clocked it as soon as he met a guy

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

YES, both internal and external, internal out of fear of how others would react and he was right to be scared, i cant give a lot of info on the external part cause thats lore relevant, so if you wanna know youre gonna go digging into his life and dig deep

(yes im shamelessly trying to get you curious, go dig!)

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it

Absolutely! The whole concept of identity is extremely important to his character/lore actually, him being a troll affects only in so far as his genuine love for troll kind, and ,of course, in all the ways living in murder planet affects a person

11. Is your oc open about their identity? Are they more lowkey or more blunt about it? Why or why not?

Hes not HIDING it, hes even told 1 or 2 people, but he doesnt actively talk about it much, if you ask hell tell you, but he wont usually start the conversation

NOW ONTO THE ASKS ABOUT YOUR WONDERFUL MOD! ME!

17. Do you share identity with any of your ocs? Which ones?

We both transmasc but hes way more of a guy then i am, outside of that we share nothing, hes very pan im very aroace

(he may be a tiny bit a-spec but thats cause all my characters end up a tiny bit a-spec)

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

Depends on the character, most stay unlabeled tho, unless its plot relevant i dont see the point in labeling them, i did change/add a label ir 2 but those were special circumstances

21. Free ramble card wee

About me? Theres not a whole lot to say

Im aroace, dont-ask-me-about-my-gender, and Brazilian, thats not related to pride or anything its just true, AMA? I dont have much to say

About him? HOLY MOLLY

Hes so trans guys, its so relevant thats hes trans someone go poke at him about it! Hes a little weirdo of a guy, there are so many levers are details and contradictions in him hows he not exploded yet

I wanna say so much cause i dont know how much yall are gonna figure out but also i cant cause spoilers! !!!!!!!!!

The more you know about him the more confusing he gets (thats what i get for rping, gotta keep thinking about him)

If i had to resume him into one question it would be

"what would it take (how much comfort, fear, pain, friendship) to make you willingly give up your identity?"

This is such an unfocused rant but i have so many thooooooughts

Thanks for the ask!!!! TELL ME ABOUT 🧱

[genderconfusedasheck]

dont stay up till 2am you start Thinking [thoughts under cut]

my gender experience is so fucking weird yall. esp coming from a black family where i was already scrutinized by my mother for even being bi. i started testosterone about 3 years ago, and i am SO happy with the results. i got what i wanted, deeper voice, facial hair, more masc traits, end of periods. if and when i get a hysterectomy, i might even just stop taking T because i got what i wanted from it. T has been AMAZING to me. i cant even give a “but” in this instance because without T i wouldnt have figured out JUST how genderqueer i am.

now, mind you, i identified as agender way back in 2015 when i first heard of the word. it described me perfectly. but at the time i was going by two pronouns, she/they. going to my gsa club and having someone give me the nastiest look possible because i was using two pronouns shook me to my core to never identify with that label ever again. in 2019 i told my college roommate i was going to start using they/them, and he straight up told me he wont use it because its confusing. he would then later gender one of his friends with that set of pronoun, and when i asked why he didn’t use it for me it was because “im so used to your other ones”.

it wasnt until meeting a new friend at my college’s pride club and seeing another trans black person using two sets of pronouns that REALLY broke me out of my gender shell.

im going back to using the agender label after cycling through my options. the word ‘man’ never stuck with me, because i just dont feel like its true. im not a male, im not a boy. im DEFINITELY not a female or a girl. im some secret and fucked up third thing that i will never be able to properly explain.

this ALL brings me into the strange, impulsive thought as i was scrolling through old art. which was,

“dude i dont wanna use any form of pronoun for me whatsoever”

like. HUH? no. im sorry but thats not happening i will gaslight myself into never being pronounless because WHAT ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO REFER TO ME AS? i dont even wanna use neopronouns!!! FUCK!! just dont refer to me or smth idk!!!

being trans is so cool but by GOD it is tiring esp if youre black. the stigma in the black community and the lgbt community is craaaaazy. i just wanna wear cute overalls and maybe even a bit of a dress or smth after top surgery without getting weird looks from both sides

[oqulis]

holy shit. ghol yshit. gay rights i guess

[meangirls2004]

omfgnfjdnsn

[roughentumble]

oh my GOD ok ive been quietly sitting over here chewing my nails going "man i dont want to be a dick and invalidate anyone's identity, but i full stop do not understand how pansexual is in any way different from bisexual" because i always see definitions that are like "pansexuals are attracted to trans people too" (1 thats transphobic, trans isnt a gender, trans men are men etc etc, 2 bisexual people can also be attracted to trans and nonbinary people, thats biphobic to say they cant be), or i see definitions like "bisexuals have gender preferences, pan means you love ~the person~" and that also makes me go uhhhh thats biphobic.... and not true, bi people can have gender preferences but they also can have absolutely no gender preference!!

but finally im sitting here and it clicks like oh OH OK wait, maybe the way to think of it is: bisexual people do have the ability to feel all those ways, its a wonderful and inclusive term, but being pan is specifically the part of the term where you dont have gender preference. thats why its under the umbrella, the overlap is because being bi also does other things, but pan is This Specific Thing.

god, man, even after IDing as pan for a while in my youth, ive just been quietly confused all to hell because everytime someone described being pan i was like "but all those things are also bi things so i dont understand how theyre different???" bro i was TRYING i was STRUGGLING. ok. ok. its like saying agender as opposed to simply nonbinary. yes, all agender experiences can be found in definitions of NB, BUT we're drawing a little circle around very specific parts of that experience in order to communicate the specific experience better.

MAN i feel better. i hated being like "i dont hate yall i just dont understand 😭"