#I think if the mod is high it's less noticeable

[a-purpled-world]

Ust by Lasaillax

Wanted to show off vb layering using presamp.

Ser0 Sweet, Soft, and Power > Presamp > Tips > Mod46

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/755884216959516672/someone-whose-fanfic-i-left-a-comment-on-is-angry

I'm just throwing out a slight assumption based on another fic that got added to TV tropes: The author mentioned getting a lot more hate and negativity after their fic was added to the TVT in the comment, like noticeably.

They explained in one of the comments to another why they had to mod lock the comments and the fic, and it was in an author's note in a new chapter they later removed. People who didn't like some of the side ships, and people who didn't like the main ships dynamic, started complaining and demanding random shit of the author. I think the AN explicitly mentioned threats and other explicitly threatening comments. It's not really a new that people coming from third parties to look at a fanfic seem to act like they're entitled to demand the author write exactly what they want or change parts of the fic, while they're consuming a story written for free.

Like, sure, you are publishing your story for any readers. But you can't deny that most fics never reach the popularity to become known outside their tag range, so most people aren't prepared nor do they expect to suddenly have to deal with people with absolutely zero interest in their writing, who're just there to insult you and your work coming in through third parties. It's kinda the same deal like with the Goodreads, you're writing for the fandom and for free, not to be put next to original works with much bigger audiences behind them and who're actually getting paid for their writing. And then recieving criticism as if the person had actually paid you.

As a fic writer the expectation is you write for fellow fans, your audience is a small part of fandom people who have interests at least partially aligning with your own. If you write original works, you write for anyone interested in what you have to offer and try to get a wider audience to get more sales and attention.

Side note: It often feels like people give writers a lot less breathing room when it comes to harassment, or having their works plastered into spaces they didn't agree to. Like, any writer complaining is told it's their own fault, and to shut up, and if they didn't want random people with no connection to the fandom or even ship to read it they shouldn't ever dare publish a fanfic ever. A writer mentioning being uncomfortable having their fanfiction plastered into spaces for professional works and with a high rate of unwanted criticism and some times really entitled trolls are expected to just "Suck it up, you knew the risk when you published your work." When they really didn't. How are you supposed to expect that amongst millions of fanfics, your little passion project is going to be shoved onto Goodreads as if it was some kinda professional publication? It also doesn't give the fanfic writers any benefits, AO3 is an archive, stats mean nothing, they're a bit of a vanity boost, but at large you don't get anything from having your work put into professional spaces, no recognition, no money, and you're forcibly held up to the standards or original fiction by entitled people. 🤷‍♀️ -Btw I know I'm a bit dramatic, and all that, but I still think it's weird how fanfic writers are some times held to standards of published original authors.

--

TV tropes is full of clowns from parts of fandom where a lot more so-called concrit of the "U suck" variety is the norm on top of the overall pattern of more eyeballs meaning more wankers.

[ticklishshenanigansau]

LaughterLand - Chapter 26: Web

(story by Mod Secret, art by Mod Secret)

As gravity swiftly pulled the brothers down to the ground they screamed louder than the scurrying animals around them. As they zoomed past the trees, they reached for each other, quite certain that this was going to be the end for them. But as they essentially tried to ‘swim’ for each other through the air, the force of the rushing wind turned them both over, ensuring that their backs would hit the ground first. Sans gritted his teeth, bracing for impact.

The surface that caught them was unexpectedly soft and elastic. The skeletons shrieked in terror as they fell into whatever strange net had caught them. Bouncing up and down from the sudden impact, but coming to rest after several moments in the strange catching-device just hanging between the jungle trees. For many minutes, the two of them just laid there, too dazed to make any sound aside from deep inhales and exhales.

Finally, they shifted their eyes to look at each other. An unexpected smile growing on both of their faces as sheer relief took them over. They had survived, they were back to their normal sizes, and most importantly to the exhausted skeletons, they were both unharmed and safe.

"Sans … what … just happened?" Papyrus breathed out so hard it almost sounded like he was laughing.

"I don't know!" Sans stifled a chuckle himself.

In truth, he couldn't have cared less to learn about just how they ended up here. His mind was too overcome with relief that he just wanted to take a few minutes to bask in it.

"I just…. I just can't believe … we actually survived that!" He finally released that breathy chuckle.

"Me neither!" Papyrus exclaimed. "We should thank whoever put this net here in the middle of the jungle!"

"Yeah." Sans nodded.

After taking a minute to breathe out one last feeling of relief, he looked around to fully assess their newest predicament. He noticed how this strange elastic net was suspended almost exactly in the middle of the large palm trees that surrounded them, giving him a clearer idea of just how high up they were.

"Come to think of it…," he wondered out loud. "Why IS this thing right in the middle of the—"

"Sans! I can't move!!"

Papyrus's sudden shriek caused the older skeleton to abruptly turn his head towards him. Immediately, he noticed that it was hard to move his skull to the side. Some kind of sticky substance was aggressively pulling at his head, trying to get it to remain in place. He looked to see Papyrus struggling to pull himself up. The younger skeleton's arms, legs, and back were stuck to the strange net, giving him little-to-no wiggle room.

Instinctively, Sans also tried to pull himself up, finding that he, too, couldn't move his limbs up from the sticky net. A sinking feeling of dread washed over the skeletons as they pulled harder and harder.

"Sans! What IS this thing?!" Papyrus shrieked in terror.

"I don't know!" Sans grunted, trying hard to focus his energy on one limb at a time. "Just keep pulling, Pap!!"

Sans's mind raced. As he pulled, he desperately looked around, trying to figure out what kind of nightmare they stumbled into this time. All he could see around them were the jungle trees, now looming over them and looking more threatening than ever with them in this vulnerable state. Anxiety flooded his mind the longer they were stuck there. His eyes darted in every direction, desperately wanting their next antagonist to show up just to get it all over with, while dreading their arrival with all of his Soul. He glanced over at Papyrus, who seemed to be following suit, sockets scanning the trees around them all the while, trembling with anticipation.

As the sound of an evil laugh suddenly echoed through the jungle, both brothers jolted in fear. The tone was deep, and yet both brothers could tell that it belonged to a female. Her laughter started off sounding far away, but as she came closer to where the pair of them were held captive, her laughter grew louder and louder. Papyrus winced at the sudden volume change, shutting his sockets tightly and practically vibrating the sticky net with his trembling. Sans, however, kept his eyes wide open. Fiercely gritting his teeth, he made the decision to face this new adversary with as much courage as he could fake.

"Show yourself!" he demanded boldly.

"Sans! What are you doing?!" Papyrus whispered in a shrill tone.

"Come out and get it over with already!"

A tone of anger colored Sans's voice, and he realized just how fed up he was with it all. He was so ridiculously tired of all the mind games these enemies would play on them. Everything from the teasing, to keeping them in a ridiculous amount of suspense, to pulling out new techniques for tickling that he couldn't even dream of. He was just so tired of being someone else's plaything. Anger fumed from his teeth as he strained to pull himself off of the strange, sticky net.

"Come … on!" he groaned loudly. "Come out already, you coward!"

"Sans, calm down!" Papyrus fretted. "You're just going to make them angry, Brother. You have to keep a cool head!"

"A cool head?" the low female voice finally spoke, her voice echoing through the trees coming from right above them. "The acceptance of your fate is one thing, but … a cool head?"

The brothers could hear the creaking of the branches directly above them as the shadowy figure began descending downwards. "Anything less than hysterical denial just spoils the flavor."

As she came into the light, the sound of a panicked scream caught in both brothers' throats. They found themselves face-to-face with a gigantic spider. The brothers were used to big spiders down in the Underground, Miss Muffet being a dear friend of theirs. However, whereas Muffet had a gentle sophisticated look to her, this spider was clearly wild and as feral-looking as could be.

She was gigantic as well — the size of a boss monster, maybe bigger. Her eyes were pitch black with dark red irises. Her body was a deep dark navy blue, with the exception of her abdomen being striped with clusters of teal, magenta, and deep purple colors. As to be expected, she was absolutely covered from head-to-all-eight-toes with soft feathery hair that just looked like it was made for tickling. The enormous fuzzy fangs in her head started moving up and down as she continued to stare at them, almost like she was licking her lips. The pastel green drool that began dripping from them pretty much confirming that theory.

"By all means…," she hissed as she came further into view. "Please do keep panicking, it truly whets my appetite."

Looking up at the horrifying spider, suddenly it all made sense to the both of them. They hadn't landed in a net at all … it was a giant spider web! It was all too much for Papyrus, he screamed and frantically squirmed and thrashed against his new sticky bindings

"Nooooohohohohoooo!! Please! Please no!! Lemmie out!! Get me out of this!! I don't want to be tickled anymore!!"

Sans watched helplessly as his brother was practically on the verge of tears. But as a satisfied sigh escaped from the spider, Sans glared up at her hatefully. The spider's gaze fixated on Papyrus, more and more disgusting drool dripping from her feathery fangs. Sans realized that Papyrus was doing exactly what she had wanted them to do. She was savoring the flavor of his desperate pleading like some kind of a sick appetizer to the main course of his laughter. She hovered over him, soaking it in as he squirmed.

"Hey! Get away from him!!" Sans demanded in a sudden burst of rage that diverted both of their attention.

The spider moved to hover over the older skeleton, seemingly trying to intimidate him the same way she had done to his brother. But Sans gritted his teeth and kept glaring, although he was internally fighting through his own fear and anxiety, he refused to give this newest creature the satisfaction she wanted.

“Oh what’s the matter?” The spider shifted into a mocking tone as she moved her legs closer towards him. “Want me to save all of this just for you, then?”

Sans clenched his fist, subconsciously trying to control the trembling in his bones. As badly as he didn’t want to be tickled by this disgusting beast, he would do anything to keep her away from Papyrus.

“Fine! Whatever!” he growled. “Go after me all you want, just leave him out of this!”

“Sans, don’t!” Papyrus yelled, still trying to pull his arms free.

He should have expected Sans to jump in to try and protect him again. But especially after what he had gone through back at Dropwart’s cottage, the younger skeleton wasn’t about to let him sacrifice himself on his behalf again.

“Brother, you’ve been through enough!” Papyrus implored. “Let her come after me! She can devour my laughter! It’s okay!”

The spider let out an amused chuckle as she daintily placed her legs onto the web and stood over them.

“Oh, such brave souls, offering themselves to me,” she mused, gazing at both of them hungrily. “But you don’t need to worry, there’s plenty to go around.”

She moved towards the edge of her web, a fair distance away from the brothers’ feet. She peered over the edge as if to search for something, before turning back to them, her four eyes smiling deviously. The skeletons’ bones rattled with dread, unsure of what to make of her reaction.

“You see…,” she said slyly. “It’s not my mouth you’re going to feed.”

She looked over the edge again, tilting her horned head to the side and signaling for someone to come join her up on the web. Sans and Papyrus gasped in horror as they witnessed four enormous baby spiders climb up the nearby tree trunks and step lightly onto the web beside her.

They were perfect images of her, except much smaller. But still compared to Muffet’s horde of spiderlings, they were gigantic in size. Their height and width almost reminded Papyrus of the annoying little white dog that would constantly sneak into their house back home. As much as he despised that irritating mutt, in that moment Papyrus would have given anything to see it digging through his pile of special attacks again. Especially after looking into the eyes of these frighteningly hungry spiderlings.

"Mama! Are these for us??"

They spoke in little childish voices. Sans knew he shouldn't have been surprised, but it was still jarring to hear such innocent-sounding voices coming out of such hideous creatures.

"Yes my darlings." The mother spider beamed proudly at her children. "They will make a perfect first meal for you."

The young spiderlings began to gleefully crawl towards the captive skeletons, eliciting another panicked scream from Papyrus.

"No! NOOOO!!" Tears starting to gather in the corner of his sockets, Papyrus frantically pleaded for mercy, quickly trying to dissuade them with everything he could think of. "Nononononono!! Please! You don't want us! We don't taste good! We've already been tickled past our limit! Since when do spiders eat skeletons anyway?! Plehehehease!!"

To the skeletons utter shock, the young spiders actually did stop in their eight-legged tracks. They stood right in front of where the brothers' feet were bound, a sudden look of disappointment showing in their dark eyes.

"What?! You've already been tickled?!" The tone of the one who was speaking was also colored with discouragement.

"Aww! No fair!" groaned another. "We wanted first dibs!"

Seeing a possible way out, Sans immediately ran with it.

"Yeah! I mean you wanna talk about how much we've been tickled? I mean ghosts, plants, cats, fish, you name it, we've been got by it!"

The more he rambled on about their past tickling experiences, the sadder the little arachnids looked. Sans knew he had to keep going, if these spiders were truly the picky-eaters they seemed to be, then this could be their chance to escape!

"Yep! I'd say we probably lost our flavor about … ten tickle attacks ago? Wouldn't you say, Pap?"

"Uh…. Y-Yeah!" Thankfully Papyrus caught on to Sans's plan quickly this time, he continued to play it up trying to sound like the weakest being on the planet. "Ohhh, I'm nothing but bones now!" he whimpered pathetically. "I can barely even feel my tickle spots anymore! I've been tickled away to practically nothing!"

Through this overly dramatic performance, even Papyrus had to admit he almost had a twinge of guilt for practically driving these baby spiders to tears. But in the same breath it meant that it was working! He knew it wouldn't take much more convincing before they would feel the need to release them.

"Oh, do forgive us, Children!" he continued the performance. "Oh how we very much wish that we could be your first meal…."

He peeked an eye open at Sans, the older skeleton was wearing a cringed smile as he motioned for Papyrus to cut out the dramatics.

"B-But I'm afraid my brother and I have nothing we can offer." His tone abruptly changed back to normal following his brother's silent instruction. "So if there's nothing we can do to help, would you kindly let us—NYAAGH!!"

The younger skeleton shrieked as the mother spider landed directly above their heads. She seemed to come out of nowhere, neither skeleton had even noticed when she took off from the web. She stood directly over them, her eyes giving them an evil glare for daring to try and outsmart her offspring.

"Oh, such nonsense!" she snapped, her angered tone directed perfectly at Sans and Papyrus before turning back to the spiderlings with her gentle motherly tone. "Here's one lesson you must always know, children."

She spread out her long fuzzy legs, showing off just how easily she could reach around both skeletons.

"When the world offers you a decent meal, you take it no matter what!"

Using two legs on each side, she scribbled and scratched along the brothers' ribs and under their arms. Papyrus let out a burst of panicked giggling immediately. Sans gritted his teeth and tried to hold back. But even he couldn't predict how soft and ticklish those fuzzy spider legs were.

"NYAAAAAAAGHAHAHAHA!! OH NOHOHOHOHO!! NOHOHOHO PLEHEHEHEASE!! HAHAHAHA!!" Papyrus pleaded and squirmed desperately against the sticky bindings.

Sans immediately opened his teeth to follow suit, but was harshly reminded of how much his new attacker craved their desperate pleading. He clenched his jaw tightly, only allowing strained laughter to escape from his teeth. Though he wasn't in a position to ask the same of Papyrus, he refused to let her hear him begging for mercy.

"As you can see, children…," the mother spider spoke loudly to be heard over the skeletons' uproarious laughter. "No matter who had 'first dibs' it's all the same. Nobody ever truly wears out their ticklishness in LaughterLand."

The hysterical skeletons peeked open their eyes, horrified to find the four little spiders now staring at them with newfound eagerness and hunger in their expressions. The mother spider at last lifted her legs away, giving both brothers a chance to breathe before looking at her children expectedly.

"Well my darlings?"

They didn't answer her, they didn't even need to. Both she and the skeletons could tell from the way the same pastel green drool was dripping from their fuzzy fangs, she had them fully convinced. Her deep voice let out a chuckle as the moved back to give the spiderlings some room.

"Two on each side now," she gently instructed. "No crowding, there's plenty to go around…."

As she continued on, the young spiders wasted no more time listening. Two pounced onto Papyrus while the other two leapt onto Sans. In an instant, they were once again drowning in hysterical laughter as thick fuzzy legs began skittering under their arms and across their ribs. Soft little squeezes were applied to their knees and toes, as well as their spines and even up towards their necks. It was another horrific ticklish nightmare for the poor, exhausted skeletons.

“OH NO!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! NYAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHO!! PLEHEHEASE!! PLEHEHEASE GET AHAHAHAFF!! HAHA!! G-GEHET AHAHAFF MEHEEHEEHEE!! HAHAHA!!” Papyrus screeched.

The problem with being equipped with so many legs, is that so many different spots could be tickled at once. While one spiderling squeezed and tickled along his ribcage with its four front legs, its back legs were scribbling along his ribs and underarms. Tears immediately started spilling from the younger skeleton’s sockets as he begged and pleaded for mercy.

“STAHAHAHAHAP!!” His voice was on the cusp of sobbing. “STAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT!! I-I-I CAHAHAN’T STAHAHAHAND IHIHIHIT!!”

“Ooooh! I really like this one!!” cheered one of the spiderlings as it played Papyrus’s ribs like a laughing instrument.

Meanwhile, Sans clamped his jaw down so tightly it started causing his teeth to ache. It was beyond exhausting keeping ahold of his own need to verbally vent. But he held back, only letting out growling groans and strained laughter.

“AHAHAHAHAAA!! GRR!! NNNGGGHHAHAHAHAHA!! AAGH! AHAHAHAAA!!”

The spiderlings that were attacking Sans seemed to notice right away just how much he was holding back, as they didn’t seem to express as much joy out of tickling him as their other siblings were getting after Papyrus. They wriggled their fuzzy legs harder and harder against his ribs, spine, and knees. They played with his feet and toes, and even traveled back up his body to dig into his neck and brush against his cheekbones. Sans laughed and squirmed and guffawed and thrashed with every ounce of strength he had left, but still he refused to let out a single pleading word. The spiderlings paused as they overheard Papyrus letting out a horrific scream of terror as his own attackers went for his toes.

“NOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAP!! NYAHAHAHAA!!”

“Hey! Look what I can do!” called the young spider who was attacking his right foot. It had somehow managed to weave its own web in between all of Papyrus’s toes. With all of the appendages perfectly tied up in the sticky string, the spiderling pulled the toes upwards leaving them unmoving and completely exposed. “Now he can’t curl up his toes and protect them!” it cheered as it used its spare legs to wriggle under and between them.

“NO! NOHOHO PLEHEHEHEASE!! AHAHAHA!! OHOHOHO PLEHEHEHEHEASE NAHAHAT THAHAHAHAT!!” Papyrus shrieked as he felt the second spiderling crawling down towards his other foot.

“I wanna try too!” it cried as it proceeded to spin its own web between the toes of his left foot.

Before Papyrus knew it, both sets of toes were splayed out in the young spiders’ little webs. Pulled taut and unable to wiggle free, the spiders gleefully took advantage of every exposed inch of the poor skeletons’s helpless feet.

“NYAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!! M-MEHEHERCY!! HAHAHAHA!! PL-PLEHEHEHEASE!! OH-OHOHOHO GAHAHAHAHA…!!” Papyrus trailed off in a fit of silent laughter frantically trembling in the web. He silently prayed that the bright orange tears falling from his face would somehow loosen the sticky string enough to at least release his head, but they fell like perfectly undisturbed rain down to the jungle floor.  

"Hey, can we have some of yours?"

By this point, the spiders who were tickling Sans had stopped completely to ogle at Papyrus's misery. Sans took in big mouthfuls of air, his face trying to shake away the tears gathering in his sockets from all the strain. He was so beside himself with exhaustion that he didn't even hear the spiderlings talk about targeting his brother.

"No way!" cried the spider on Papyrus's right foot. "You've got your own!"

"But yours has more flavor!" the other spider argued. "It's not fair! Mama! Make them share!"

The mother spider gently nudged at the spiderlings tickling at Papyrus's toes, they begrudgingly released his feet and crawled back onto the web. Papyrus let out a pitiful sob intermixed with catching his breath, fearing that she was going to allow Sans's spiders to come after him next. But to his surprise, she blocked them from moving towards him.

"Give this one a chance to recover, darlings," she gently instructed. "If you overwhelm him too quickly, he'll pass out before you properly get your fill. Take your time dears, savor it."

The spiderlings nodded obediently, eyeing Papyrus and making him squirm uncomfortably. She turned to face Sans, who had finally managed to regulate his breathing. He stared into her multiple eyes, trying to have that same look of defiance. But even he had to admit that holding back his words like that took more out of him than he’d figured, and he could tell by the expression she was giving that she could read that in him clearly.

“Now children, this one is bursting with flavor, I can promise you that,” she mused, now looking the older skeleton up and down. “The only difference is, he’s going to make you work for it a little bit more.”

She began jabbing him in different spots all over his body. The front of his spine, the lower ribs, the ankles, anywhere she could properly read a reaction. Sans once again tried his best to hold back. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck as he tried to stifle his reactions, but he was unable to stop himself from jolting his body, and couldn’t silence the sharp breaths that she drew out of him whenever she jabbed at somewhere vulnerable. He could tell that every move he made was playing right into her multiple hands.

“It’s all about finding that right spot….” There was a smile in her tone as she poked around his toes. Her soft fuzzy legs eliciting a sudden jump from the skeleton. “Once you find it, it’ll be the tastiest treat you’ve ever had.”

Sans knew right then and there what lesson she was trying to impart on her children. She wanted them to make him beg, to find the spot that would get him pleading for mercy. His expression shifted to a hateful glare, he refused. He didn’t care what it would take, he absolutely refused to give in to what they wanted him to do. He wouldn’t give them the meal the wanted, or the satisfaction of hearing him plead for mercy. She turned back to the spiderlings.

“Have you tried using their techniques on his toes?” she suggested cruelly. “Pull them back and see what happens.”

The spiderlings wasted no time, they crawled back towards Sans’s feet and immediately began wrapping his toes up with their miniature spiderwebs. A shrill squeal escaped from the older skeleton as he felt the delicate tickling sensation of the web being woven in between his toes. He wanted to scream at them to stop, but held back, reminding himself that it wouldn’t do any good anyways. Another gasp escaped from him as he felt both sets of toes being pulled upwards, a light breeze wisped through the in between spaces of his toes as they were perfectly splayed out. He didn’t have time to even attempt to struggle before he felt their soft fuzzy legs start digging into his vulnerable toes.

“EEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEHEE!!! AAGH!! AAAAGH!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! NNNNGGHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!”

His laughter came out more panicked than ever. He kept trying to hold back, but his jaw had become too exhausted to keep his teeth clenched anymore. Letting out a series of growls and shrieks, all he could do was mentally force his words to stay muffled as he laughed uncontrollably.

“There, now isn’t that a bit better?” the mother spider cooed.

“A bit…,” answered one of them, clearly not convinced. “But still not as good as the other one.”

“Oh yes, that’s right.” The mother spider turned back towards her other children, who were still staring hungrily at Papyrus. “That’s enough of a break, young ones. You may continue. But remember … gently.”

Papyrus let out a horrified gasp as the spiderlings crawled back on top of him. One resumed tickling at his feet, while the other one jabbed at his ribs and underarms. They were, indeed, much more gentle in their attack, but it still sent Papyrus into another fit of hysterical laughter.

“NO! NOOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!! NYAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! OHOHOHO PLEHEHEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAP!! PLEHEHEHEHEASE!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! N-N-NO!! NOHOHO MOHOHOHORE!! HAHAHAHA!!”

Sans glanced back over at Papyrus, his vision became blurry from the new onslaught of tears gathering in his tired sockets. He wanted so badly to call out to him, to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. But even he knew that he couldn’t keep that promise, he had no idea how they were going to get out of this now. They were hopelessly stuck with five hungry and vicious ticklers, and as desperately as he tried to keep it together, he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out before they broke him.

The mother spider moved back towards the top of Sans’s head, having just remembered a particular reaction that she had previously overlooked.

“Well if one spot doesn’t do the trick…,” she continued with her sadistic lesson. “Perhaps try multiple spots at once.”

She lowered two fuzzy legs down towards Sans’s underarms, the older skeleton let out a panicked squeal in between gasps for air.

“Oh yes…,” she hissed. “I think this spot will do nicely.”

She began to gently poke and trace little circles around Sans’s defenseless underarms. Poor Sans let out a scream that defied the usual low tone of his voice. His entire body trembled and shook, leading the entire web to vibrate uncontrollably.

“WAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! AHAHAHAHA!! N-N-NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AAAAGH!! PL-PL-AAAAGHAHAHAHA!! ST….AAAAAGH!!”

He only barely managed to stop himself after accidentally releasing the beginning of a plea, his mind was starting to go blank, it was getting too hard to focus. With every passing second of enduring the horrible ticklish sensations, Sans’s control was slipping further and further away. The mother spider let out another low chuckle.

“I think we’re getting warmer.” She beamed down at her prey.

“Hey! Watch this!”

Sans barely even registered that one of the spiders had spoken again, he didn’t even figure out what it had said until he felt its soft fuzzy fangs start nibbling on the ball of his right foot.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHAHAHAHA…!!” Sans trailed off into silent squeaky laughter, tears endlessly falling down his bright blue cheeks.

It was the strangest sensation. As its thick fangs scraped against his sensitive feet, the soft hair suddenly became coarse due to the harsh friction of the spider’s nibbling. It was akin to having two long hairbrushes grazing across the sensitive spot, creating a horrendous tingling buzz. It was utterly unbearable!

The mother spider immediately took her legs out from Sans’s underarms the moment she heard him devolve into silent laughter. The alleviation of her underarm tickling left Sans with enough oxygen to start laughing and screaming with his full voice again, but remarkably, he still held onto enough sanity to resist the urge to beg.

“Hmm, that’s quite good dear,” she complimented the one who was nibbling his toes. “It’s always good to try out new techniques. Just remember what I said about pacing. We don’t want to overwhelm the prey too quickly, do we?”

Understanding immediately what she was instructing him to do, the spiderling lifted its fangs away from Sans’s feet, finally allowing the skeleton to breathe. Sans inhaled so quickly, he coughed and wheezed from the sudden shift in oxygen intake. His chest ached from having to catch his breath so many times in one miserable day, and he couldn’t help but lay limp and lifeless in the web not even having the strength to be on guard anymore.

The spiderlings that were tormenting Papyrus had also stopped to give him a break. Blinking the remaining tears from his sockets, Papyrus glanced at Sans. His poor brother looked so exhausted, so defeated. Sans opened his eyes to glance back at Papyrus, he wanted so badly to give his brother the look of reassurance and confidence that he so desperately needed to hang on through this mess. But Sans’s face was too tired to even try.

“Hmm…. I still don’t think we’ve quite found the right spot on him, have we?”

The mother spider began examining Sans again. Her many eyes scanning every inch of his body, deeply pondering what they could have possibly overlooked. Sans knew exactly what spot they were trying to find, his Soul filling with utter dread at the thought of them finding it.

Almost on cue, the spiderling that had been tickling at his left foot had found an opening in the web. It crawled underneath until it was hanging upside down crawling on the opposite side of where the brothers were laying. Sans began to tremble again, his Soul practically exploded out of his ribcage as he felt the young spiderling starting to crawl up his back. The creature meticulously began poking at every available spot, taking note of every tense jolt and squeak that it could pull from the older skeleton.

Then finally, it happened. One of its fuzzy legs just barely grazed along the grooves of his back, Sans never had a chance.

“AAAAAHAHAHAHAA!! NOHOHOHOHO!! NOOO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAAAAP!!”

His shrill cachinnating words burst out of him like an explosion, tears flew in every direction imaginable, and his mind went blank with insanity.

“Good work, my dear!” the mother spider praised proudly. “You found it! Now, you may feast!”

The spiderling lightly dug all of its eight fuzzy legs into Sans’s back. It knew it could have gone a lot harder with the scribbling, but besides heading its mother’s advice, it didn’t need to. Sans screamed and thrashed and pleaded with everything he had. He didn’t even think about it anymore, his mind was all consumed with the horrible sensation, leaving his body in uncontrollable laughing seizure.

“NOOOOO!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAP!! PLEHEHEHEASE!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!”

“Leave him alone!!” Papyrus shrieked, finally seeing what they were doing to his brother. “Let him go!! Please!! He’s had enough!! STOP!!”

He gathered enough strength to start struggling again, but his words and actions were immediately cut off by the other two spiderlings moving in to attack again.

As both skeletons lay there hopelessly laughing at the hands of four tickling spiderlings, the mother spider hovered over them, proudly taking it all in. She inhaled deeply, sharing in her family’s captured meal.

“Yes.” She sighed deeply. “You two will do perfectly. Your screams and laughter will keep us fed for many generations to come. My children will grow into strong Tickle Spiders thanks to your nourishment, as will their children. Your laughter will echo through the trees of this jungle for years to come, and all will know—”

“Uhm … excuse me?”

A tiny voice from up above suddenly put an end to the onslaught of merciless tickling. The brothers didn’t even hear it, they wasted no time taking in as many mouthfuls of air as they could. Coughing and spluttering and practically sobbing as their breathing slowly regained normalcy.

It seemed to take forever before the blurriness faded from their vision and they could finally see past the remaining tears. Something very small and green was hovering just a few feet above them. The light coming down from the trees almost gave it the appearance of an angel. Once they came to realize who it was, it felt as though their prayers had been answered … it was Sky!

“Well, hello there, fellas!”

The little green spider tipped his blue top hat towards them in his signature greeting, his pleasant Southern-like voice was practically music to the drained skeletons’ ear canals.

“S…. Skyder?” Sans croaked, his face and voice were raw, almost painful to try and move again.

“Heh, almost!” The little spider chuckled. “But I’ll let that one slide given the state that you’re both in.”

The mother spider looked up at him, a confused expression showing in her four eyes.

“You know these two morsels?” she inquired.

“I sure do, Auntie! These guys are old friends of mine!” Sky replied in his usual chipper tone.

“Auntie?” Papyrus’s tone would have sounded more flabbergasted had he not been so worn out.

“Anywho, these nice gents here are trying to find their way home, you see,” Sky explained. His tone was almost obnoxiously cheery, as if he hadn’t just witnessed his two friends being tickled in the most traumatizing way possible. “And I came by thinking I just might be able to help them out!”

“W-Wait you…,” Papyrus trailed off breathlessly. “You … can…. You can get us … home?”

“I think so! I think I found a way back to this ‘Underground’ you were going on about!” Sky nodded, a big smile showing across his little face.

Sans and Papyrus practically started weeping again, for a moment they had thought they had fallen out of the web and crashed to the ground. A ray of hope had overwhelmed them in an instant. They had found a way home? It didn’t seem real. Was this nightmare truly about to end?

“No way!” the spiderling on Sans’s back suddenly shrieked. “We just got the hang of getting this food! It’s ours!”

“Yeah!” the other spiderlings agreed.

Unyielding fear and dread shot through the brothers yet again in remembering their current predicament. These horrible spiders had finally found out just what made them tick, there was no way they were going to give them up without a fight. The mother spider looked at her children, then back at Sky.

“I’m sorry, dear nephew, but I don’t think my little darlings are quite willing to part with their new favorite food.”

Sky thought for a moment. His many eyes looked back and forth between the skeletons and his Auntie. Finally he floated down on his delicate string of web to meet her face-to face. It was jarring to the brothers just how much tinier he was compared to her.

“Auntie, would you mind if I had a word with you, alone?” he gently implored.

The mother spider let out a disgruntled sigh, but proceeded to follow the little Sky Spider up to the top of a nearby tree, leaving the brothers alone with the four spiderlings.

They stayed up there talking privately between the two of them for what must have been at least five minutes. At one point, one of the spiderlings attempted to snack on Papyrus by tickling at his toes. But his sharp giggles drew a stern look from the mother spider, prompting her children to stop in their tracks and refrain from anymore surprise attacks.

Finally, she called all four of them up there to join her and Sky in the conversation. The family of spiders stayed in the top of the tree whispering too lightly for either brother to hear what they were talking about. Meanwhile, Sans and Papyrus used that time to regain their breath and sanity. Neither of them wanting to even mention what Sky had told them. They didn’t want to somehow jinx the possibility of them finally finding a way out of this horrible place. For now, they just wanted to hold out hope that he could somehow get them out of this mess.

It took a long time, but finally Sky descended back down to the web. It was hard to tell because of how small he was, but the brothers had thought they had seen a look of satisfaction on his face.

“Okay fellas, hold still now,” he said, beginning to work on the web surrounding Sans’s right arm. “I’m gonna cut you both loose. Might take a minute for you to get used to gravity again, but when you do—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on,” Sans interrupted. “They’re gonna let us go? Seriously?”

“Yeah!” Sky replied cheerfully. “I’m gonna take you guys to where I found the exit outta here! Just lemmie get you out of this….”

Both brothers were too stunned to speak, as the little spider worked on cutting them out of the sticky web, a hopeful smile spread across both of their faces. This was it, they were finally going to escape this nightmare and be free!

Once Sans felt the stickiness start to lift off of his limbs, he fell with a heavy crash to the grass below. Papyrus followed after him with a loud THUD! It took several minutes for both brothers to readjust to gravity and stand up on their own. But once they finally felt comfortable enough to walk, Sky landed on Papyrus’s shoulder, his many eyes beaming up at them.

“Okie dokie, you ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes!” Papyrus practically leapt up and down with joy, momentarily forgetting how uneasy his balance was and nearly tripping. “Let’s go home!” he cheered, following Sky’s front leg pointing him in the direction out of the jungle.

Before Sans followed behind them, he caught a glimpse at the mother spider and her spiderlings still watching them from the top of the tree. He expected them to be staring back at him with hatefulness for having gotten away from them. But to his surprise, that emotion wasn’t present in their expression.

The hunger was still there, but there was also a look of satisfaction. Almost one of acceptance, as if she and her family just hadn’t lost the biggest meal ticket of their lives. It was eerie and unnatural, it sent a chill crawling up the older skeleton’s spine.

“Sans, come on! Let’s get out of here!”

Papyrus’s voice snapped Sans back to reality, and he quickly turned to catch up with them. Though he couldn’t shake the feeling that something very bad was still about to happen with these spiders.

[gaykarstaagforever]

I said I was going to read it, and I read it.

And now I know why no one else has in 55 years.

Spoiler Alert: he doesn't actually electrocute Clark, and was never going to. Utter bullshit.

The only cool things about this old guy are 1) his name is Homer Ferret, and 2) he looks like George Burns.

What is uncool about this guy is that he is an optometrist who has been stalking Clark Kent since he was a baby, for reasons he never goes into.

Like, he is just at the Kent's house when Baby Clark does his first heroic thing (pushing a runaway train car off the tracks). He is also suspiciously at the high school when it catches on fire, to see Clark jump into a bush from which Superboy then emerges to blow the fire out.

Did Homer start the fire? If not, why the hell was he hanging out at the high school? We never get answers to these and many other questions.

My favorite part is where he guesses (correctly) that Clark is Superman, based on his glasses. But not in the sane way of noticing that Clark Kent looks exactly like Superman if Superman wore glasses. Remember, no one in the DC Universe can apparently do that. Instead, as the only optometrist in Smallville, he knows Clark Kent never bought glasses from him. Once he has Clark strapped to the chair, he looks at Clark's glasses and realizes the lenses are just fake plastic ones (this was back when glasses actually contained glass).

Clark, as usual, just fucking lies and says he wears fake glasses because he is a giant coward and figured glasses would make kids bully him less. Because that is how that works.

Homer doesn't buy it, either, and so demands Clark admit he is Superman or get juiced. At the last second Clark FINALLY decides to use his X-Ray vision to look through the floor, where he sees that the generator attached to the chair is a low voltage one. Homer throws the switch and it tickles Clark with like 2 volts.

Then Homer admits he wasn't 100% on Clark being Superman after all, so wasn't going to risk killing him. Clark says "oh, you!", and decides to do a Daily Planet report on all the Superman artifacts this clearly dangerous obsessive has collected into a Superman shrine in his basement.

No one gets punched a single time.

The only good thing about this story is this random full page portrait of Clark Kent looking vaguely upset:

The other story in the issue is better, in that it is way, way dumber.

It starts off showing you how YOU TOO can draw Superman!

I feel there are a few steps missing here, but

Jimmy Olsen tells Clark how he is joining an art correspondence school, and Clark IMMEDIATELY decides it is a scam worthy of Superman's attention. And sure, it is definitely a scam being run by mobsters. But the second half of that is not remotely true.

Before he starts using X-Ray vision and perfect recall and telescopic vision and TIME TRAVEL (yes) to "solve" this crime of low-level mail fraud, he has to interview a kid who wants to be a cartoonist at the Daily Planet. Where he says this:

I think I get what he's supposed to be saying in this weird attempt at 60s Mod talk, but it took me awhile. You give it a go.

He also is a total dick about how much this child's comic strip sucks.

I mean it's no Silver Age Superman comic, but they can't all be, Clark. And let's be honest here, the bar is pretty low.

At some point in his "investigation" of this scam art school, Clark decides the best plan is for him to create forgeries of classical Western paintings. By this point he already has more than enough evidence to have these guys arrested, but he didn't get to do any pointless TIME TRAVEL yet (yes), so, priorities.

He flies back in time to study the painting techniques of the great masters. But he is bad at time travel (yes, literally), so he accidentally flies through the tail of Halley's Comet, which makes him 1) 16, and 2) blue.

Then this happens:

Let's unpack this.

1) Superman was the inspiration for Thomas Gainsborough's "Blue Boy," because he at this point is a boy, who is dressed in the mostly-blue Superman costume. ...But also because his skin is blue. You know. Unlike the boy in the painting.

2) Gainsborough uses Superboy as a model, in that he has him pose, holding a hat. But the boy in the painting is wearing a completely different outfit of rumpled velvet. So Gainsborough just did the complex outfit from his imagination, but he needed Superboy to show him what a boy holding a hat looks like? What bizarre level of "master artist" is this?

3) He doesn't paint the Blue Boy's skin, because Superboy has blue skin, and that would be too weird. And while he can obviously do imaginary clothes fine, he needs another model with normal-colored skin to do a face and a hand. ...Even though he only chose Superboy as a model in the first place, partly because he has blue skin, which makes him a 'Blue Boy,' which is what inspired the whole painting in the first place. ...Except he never intended to actually make the Blue Boy blue-skinned. So...

Adult men with families and mortgages wrote this.

After this, Superboy flies back through Halley's Comet's tail, restoring his age and color. Then he goes to visit Rembrandt, where Rembrandt ACTUALLY DRESSES HIM IN A PERIOD OUTFIT, to use him as a model for one of the figures in "The Night Watch". Because Superman is so muscular.

Because, as everyone thinks when they see that painting, "Man. That one guy in the hat is buff as shit." (?)

Notably, yet again, the painter doesn't paint Superman's face, this time because a officer of the REAL Night Guard paid to have his portrait put in the painting. But I guess that guy's body wasn't all swol and hot enough for Rembrandt's painting...of that specific guy.

"WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH GETTING THE POLICE TO ARREST THE MOBSTERS RUNNING A SCAM ART SCHOOL??"

Good goddamn question.

Superman comes back to the present and creates perfect forgeries of the two paintings he was inexplicably involved in creating. When the mobsters try to sell them as the real paintings, Clark Kent shows up with the cops and points out how the forgeries aren't actually perfect, he made them slightly different to prove they were fakes.

And this somehow is a crime the mobsters get arrested for. Instead of Clark Kent, who very obviously painted the forgeries so that these guys could sell them. Like, that was their plan, that the heretofore whatever Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent is suddenly such an amazing artist that he can make near-perfect forgeries of great paintings. And Clark went along with it, until he stopped. And this finally proves their art school is a scam. Even though the building they are in literally has trashcans full of art submissions they have thrown out once they take the registration money out of the envelopes. And all the secretaries working for them know the whole plan and have been helping them do it.

I'm not inferring that. That is all specifically shown in the comic.

None of this was necessary. Absolutely none of it.

On the plus side, at the end, the Daily Planet hires that kid to do his monkey comic. But just the writing, because Clark still thinks his art sucks. Jesus Christ, Clark.

Here is an ad for a hobby model of what was at the time an 11 year old station wagon.

I'm not being sarcastic! That's what their ad copy says! That's how they sold this!

There is also a Letters to the Editor feature, which I didn't take a picture of, because they print everyone's full names and hometowns. Yes I know even those kids are probably dead now, but I'm not going to chance it.

At any rate, about half the letters are children telling DC's editors that these Superman stories are stupid and full of inconsistent nonsense. To which the DC editors reply by defensively snapping back at them.

So it's not just us, as adults, now.

They knew. Everyone knew.

[gimmethemprimals]

HEY HERE’S MY DISORGANIZED GUIDE FOR SKIN MAKING

You cannot draw a skin outside of the dragon's lineart, so if you wanted to give a gaoler a second pair of wings, you'd have to find out some way to stuff it into the space of the body. People have gotten away with linebreaks before, and if its not obvious it could slip past, but if the skin mods notice: you’re getting denied.

When I do skins I upscale the PSD from 750x750 to 2000x2000, and I use a 3 px brush, as that is the same size as FR's lineart.

There are two folders in the PSD, the bottom one is simply showing all the parts of the dragon, and the top is where you actually draw. I turn off the shadow and line art layers when I draw and don't turn them back on until I'm completely done.

If you want to make an ACCENT, you have to make sure that it is covering less than 31% of the base. You can check the coverage on reSKIN vendrus or Nensec (You cannot link Nensec onsite)

You cannot use colors that are too dark, as they will be denied for the lineart and shadows not being visible. There is a strong possibility that your opinion on what is visible is wildly different from what staff thinks are visible, please get advice from others if you can.

When you're done drawing, I would recommend making a copy of that file, and using the copy to merge all your layers down. When you have them all merged down, clip the lines and shadows onto your drawing. You CAN alter the opacity and color of the lines and shadows, but you MUST make sure its dark enough to be “plainly visible.”

I HIGHLY recommend setting the lineart layer on top of your skin to multiply and coloring it like the shadows.

IF your skin is denied, there is a high chance that the message will be vague. (For example, you will be told that the shadows and lines on your skin are too light, but not specifically where on the skin that its too light)

If an error occurs (Such as submitting the wrong image or messing up the name) you can go to the Skin Problems Thread and request for changes from the skin mods.

The skin queue is HEAVILY dependent on traffic as there are only two skin mods at the moment, but usually you'll get a skin back in a week or so. If a skin takes longer than 7 days to come back, I would go to the Skin problems thread.

Feel free to add more advice if you have anything else you can think of.

[4th-make-quail]

Big Bang anon here! I was just looking for some challenging event to participate this winter, and wanted to know your opinion because you have a lot of fandom experience! And YES I also noticed that a lot of Big Bang challenges currently are like "minimum word count is 5k words", and no shade to mods but that's not a challenge skdjdhdjl

Do you have a favorite fandom event type? Care to share your best fandom event experience?

Good morning nonny! Ahhh I see, okay I getcha!! There are quite a few longer word count fandom exchanges if you're into those, but the winter ones are already well in progress iirc!

One good place to check for events like this is fandom calendar on dreamwidth - people advertise their stuff on there regularly (no need to make a dw account to look at it either).

If you want a longer event, I have a few friends who do the three longer minimum word count exchanges and they have fun, so here they are;

- Fic in a Box (fiab): a fanwork exchange with a large minimum gifting requirement and several unique features - this one is complicated, so check out the comm link! Unfortunately this one is well and truly over now, but it's there for next year - schedule is around August to September!

- Five Figure Fandom Exchange (fffx or fandom 5k): a multifandom gift exchange for fanfic of 10,000+ words, and for comics of least 10 pages or at least 40 panels. Currently ongoing, but there are pinch hits in need of picking up! Deadline is January 18th, so if you can write a pinch hit fandom, you could try that!

- High Adrenaline (previously Heart Attack): two weeks to write 10k (or draw a 25-panel, 10-page comic) and one week to edit. Noms open in January!

Completing all three of these makes you eligible for Triple Crown, which is a prize raffle for all three of these 10k exchanges.

For the next few months, most people will be doing Yuletide which I've talked about a bit here before, but it has a 1000 word minimum so might be of less interest to you if you wanted a challenge. Pinch hits for yuletide are being posted here this year, but there aren't any available rn, and as yuletide is for rare fandoms, ymmv as to how possible this is for you anyway.

The next thing I will personally be participating in is Candy Hearts, which is a valentines day themed low word count (300 words) exchange, schedule usually starting with noms in December. This replaces chocolate box which used to run at the same time, and it's really fun!

Others I usually do regularly:

- Seasons of Drabbles: new to me but very fun, has a new round every season! For strict drabbles specifically, currently in its autumn round so there will be a winter one to come I imagine!

- Goreswap: an exchange for gore etc, with genre type tags to pick. Schedule starts with noms in January usually! Not one I've done, but I have friends who love it and do it every year.

- Phoenix Down Exchange: my own full Final Fantasy franchise exchange, set to start noms in Feb as last year

- Rarepair Exchange: as it sounds, for rarepairs! Check the comm for definition of minimum fics required to be eligible. Usually starts around April

- Rare Male Slash Exchange: as rarepair ex above, but for m/m ships only and again with specific minimum fic number eligibility. This is older than rpe, but as it tends to run on a similar schedule (noms in May last year) I've not done it for the last two years

- Relationshipping: for incest ships! The last round was July to August, but it conflicted with other fan stuff for me so I didn't do this for a bit as well. Run by some very good people

Some others I know about from my exchange crew participing but have never personally done: kids come first (underage themed), consent issues (dub/noncon themed), trauma exchange (as the name suggests), trick or treat (complicated, I think halloween theme?? Unsure), nonconathon (dub/noncon, but with very fun freeform tags to pick and nominate), and then there are usually a hell of a lot of flash exchanges around as well, which run on quick turnarounds - you could try joining the Exchanges After Dark discord server, which is an 18+ nsfw server for exchanges. It's very big and has a channel for every exchange, so the best thing to do is mute them all apart from what ur interested in ime! It also has a fandomcalendar rss feed channel which could be relevant if u wanna see what's coming up!

As for your second question, my favourite fandom event experience is probably Unconventional Fanworks Exchange, which is unfortunately didn't run last year and I'm not sure if it will again 😭😭 its an exchange for, well, unconventional fanwork mediums, and I've had so much fun challenging myself in the two rounds I've participated in! They had things like newspaper articles, in universe academic documents, blueprints, paper dolls, all sorts! I'm hoping someone might take it over tbh, if the mod can't run it again.

Also, this year I did Small Web September for the first time and had sooo much fun! It's for working on any smallweb projects you might have; personal sites, neocities, coding etc. and it had a really great vibe, plus it was super fun seeing everyone's smallweb projects! Very inspiring!!

This ended up very long, but as u can see I am very passionate about these things! I run my entire fannish calendar around exchanges mixed with event weeks and I find it very rewarding - I'm always happy to introduce anyone to exchanges and talk through how to participate etc. so anyone can ask me about this at any time!

[delta-orionis]

Tuesday Again No Problem 6/25/24

A bit wordier than usual.

Listening

I've been listening to a lot of The Worst of All Possible Worlds this week. I find it very entertaining to listen to people talk passionately about something that I know next to nothing about.

I listened to their episode on Death Stranding earlier today while I crocheted. I knew basically nothing about the game beforehand, besides the fact that it had lukewarm reception upon release. The hosts all loved it, and the guest in particular related their enjoyment of the game to their love of hiking and meditation. I thought it was an interesting take, especially since a lot of the modern videogame landscape is dominated by a focus on instant gratification.

I definitely recommend this podcast if you like listening to people talk for several hours about obscure pieces of media.

Watching

Among the several video essays I watched/listened to this week was Dan Olson's (of Line Goes Up fame) new video about the Angry Video Game Nerd:

It's an interesting self-reflection through the lens of AVGN, specifically focusing on nostalgia and AVGN's legacy. It's a bit meandering at times, but I think that comes from the fact that it's a more stream-of-consiousness and personal than some of Dan Olson's other videos. I'll admit that Olson isn't my favorite video essayist; his videos are certainly a bit more dry than those of other essayists like Hbomberguy, but when I'm in the right mood his videos are a pleasant listen. His video on Flat Earthers is another one I come back to every once in a while.

Playing

More Rain World expedition, who could have guessed.

I've been playing as Spearmaster a bunch. They're fun to play as, especially with expedition perks like high agility turned on. (The lack of a stomach to store pearls in is very annoying, though.)

I've noticed that I'm developing a better lay of the land by playing expedition- I find myself going to the wiki to look at maps less often.

While technically not playing, I've also been messing around with mods on my PC copy of Rain World again. I was excited that Iteratorkit (the mod that lets you make custom iterators) got an update, until I found out that a bunch of things in my own iterator broke. I unfortunately don't know enough about Rain World modding (or C#) to diagnose exactly what broke, so I think I'm going to just roll back to an earlier version of the mod and wait until the author fixes the new bugs.

Making

I've been working on some more answers for my ask blog, mainly focusing on drawings. I haven't finished it yet, but here's a preview of one answer that I'm working on:

Am I using this ask blog as a mouthpiece to do fantasy scicomm? Yes, absolutely.

I also finally bit the bullet and finished sewing the last details onto my latest amigurumi, based on my Rain World OC.

I also finally got around to taking well-lit pictures of Pebbles and Moon. I'll make a post about them soon.

---

This week was a weird one. The end of June is approaching much more quickly than I realized.

Thanks for reading, as always.

[peterlorres21stcentury]

unpopular opinion: mods should enhance a game, not make it suck less

also sprach Lorrethustra, the endlessly reincarnated

And yet here I am, making some desperately needed improvements to a game that, while fun at first, needed some serious thought and maybe another year in development.

So far I have made the following changes to Starfield with the help of the amazing Bethesda modding community, because I don't have a fucking clue how to create my own mods so I offer naught in return. Notice how entirely simple these problems are:

-Doubled the experience gained from any action (thanks to a second mod, having the well-rested perk from sleeping will quadruple it!)

-Multiplied the amount of credits for each vendor by 10. Because enormous, interplanetary juggernaut corporations of the future only trust their vendors with 5k in virtual monies in a 48 hour period. 🙄 Seriously, it should be 100x that, but I'm trying to be reasonable here.

-Made it so that random quests are not shoved into my mission log just because some guard made a passing comment while I was near. I always hated this method of quest-giving. It felt invasive and annoying even in Skyrim, as it assumes that every character would be willing to delve in that cave or join the Thieves' Guild or make deals with a daedric prince or whatever, but in Starfield it is an absolute plague. If I want your quest I'll ask around for it!! Stop force-feeding your players this bullshit!!

-Furnished the Starborn ship with such extravagant luxuries as: a few chairs on the bridge, and one (1) bed. Because even though I don't use the ship that often, it's still part of my fleet, so I might as well make it a livable space instead of the iphone store-looking, sterile white void we got (seriously, the modder just added some decorative assets that were already present in the game files and intended to be used on the ship. Bethesda CHOSE NOT TO USE THEM WHYYYY

That's about all for now. I was thinking of finding something that increased the storage capacity for outpost containers from 600 units to... something a lot MORE THAN THAT. Why would you make outpost extraction rates so high if you can barely store it all? How can I realize my dreams of becoming an interstellar freight/resource tycoon if my base is nothing but walls of stupid shipping crates (which don't share inventory automatically and need to be connected through a mess of wires even when they, you know, snap together and ought to logically share inventory?? but that's a separate issue)? If the dev team understood their player base at all they'd understand that we are greedy rapacious loot goblins who need moooooooaaaaaaar, damn your hide 👿

I don't know if these decisions were intended as some kind of meta commentary on the nature of your character or what (the Starborn is reborn into new universes chasing their fruitless quest for some vaguely defined power, therefore the meaning of life is suffering and so the player gets diminishing returns on their repetitive journey? Is that what they meant?) but as *cough* deeeeeep and philosophical as that may be, good game design it ain't.

To think I wrote this much all because I wanted a way to level faster than the default pace of "not at all." Because despite the game having no level cap, the game literally does not offer you enough activities to grant the necessary ~500,000 cumulative xp points to reach level 100. Even going through a new game+ multiple times and repeating every single quest will not be enough unless you have literal days of free time. I never felt so starved for perks in Skyrim or Fallout 4, ever, despite the xp rewards being roughly similar. But you spend higher levels in Starfield so very hungry for xp because the curve of points earned per level is, as far as I can tell, near exponential. And the rewards do not scale with your level, nor with game difficulty. A level 90 enemy will always grant something like 120 xp, and you have tens of thousands of xp points to go.

Sorry, but this especially is truly boggling my tiny mind. Not to rant about something so trivial; I am only too keenly aware that this world is filled with actual pain and suffering, but I'd really love to know what they were thinking when they designed such an abominable leveling system. A grindy MMO this ain't, my friends. That next perk point should be a rewarding goal, not an impossible waste of time. It's like one team carried over the xp rewards that would be comparable to Fallout 4 (you get about the same per average enemy, anywhere from 50 to 200 points per kill, I think) and then a separate clueless team said "I mean, it's one level, Michael. What would it cost? A hundred thousand xp?"

I could go on, but I have other things to do today. I want to make it clear: I do not hate this game! A lot of it is incredibly absorbing, and I wish there was more to it (outpost building, crafting, surveying planets). But there should never be this many annoyances and pointless barriers to make these mods a necessity.

[josiesaltzmanstyle]

1.06 Mombie Dearest

It’s giving Sky (TM).

Josie starts off the episode in this Ted Baker London sky-blue ribbed sweater. It has a sewn-in white scalloped collar and white cuffs, and hanging white fabric at the bottom that gives off the illusion of being a full undershirt. It’s reminiscent of the Modcloth sweater she wore in 1.01, though the psuedo-undershirt and the keyhole at the back of the neck are distinct details that make it feel less mature. I’m biased, not being a fan of either of those details in general. The illusion of an undershirt is a detail I generally do not love in blouses; I think it looks a lot 'cheaper', for lack of a better term, than simply wearing an individual undershirt or having an undershirt sewn it. I think it could work for a different character, but something about it feels a little off for Josie to me. BUT, also, she tucks her shirt into her skirt here, so it's not too bothersome to me. It's not really visible.

Another fun Saltzman Twins Style Note: Lizzie is either wearing a blue twist-tie crop top or bra/bralette under her white netted tee, and the shade is very reminiscent of Josie’s sweater.

One fun thing about this project is how much more I’m noticing these fun coordinating moments. I’m curious about whether they talk about coordinating like this, or if they have a siphon twin psychic sense that influences choices like these on occasion. I’d imagine a mix. Regardless, it’s fun to see common threads (🧵) between their relatively disparate styles—so far, Josie leans vintage/mod-influenced, and Lizzie trends modern but often more casual. It's noteworthy to me, too, that Josie is in her school uniform - we'll see a glimpse of that signature plaid skirt in just a minute, and the Salvatore S is pictured above, emblazoned onto her sweater - while Lizzie seems not to be dressed to be going to classes. Interesting to note, given Josie being presented as the one that's a little more 'studious' between the two of them.

No clear shot of her shoes, but Josie has a classic/adorable knee high socks thing going on, too.

She has also been experimenting stylistically a little the last few episodes, this color palette and generally studious look is (perhaps refreshingly?) a return to form.

Lots piercings, once again, but unfortunately hard to make out.That's an interesting styling choice to me, though, that even in some of her more traditional outfits, she tends to wear multiple earrings in one ear. It's a detail that somewhat contrasts the more studious persona she's often trying to present.

Later, we get a repeat of Josie’s pajamas from 1.02 as she’s helping Lizzie get ready for their sweet sixteen party, her hair pulled up in sensible ponytail. Not much new to say here, particularly because I still can't pin down the specific items for how generic they are. But it is interesting to note the contrast being made here - Lizzie complains that Josie's not even dressed for the night yet so that the narrative can highlight that Josie's been helping Lizzie get ready for their party at the expense of getting herself ready on time. It's also interesting that we don't know how this happened - is this a regular occurrence/something that they both just presume will happen? Did Josie start getting ready and pause when Lizzie needed help? (I actually feel pretty confident that she did - her makeup is done. Which, I mean, her makeup is always done, it's a CW show. But her hair is pulled back in a way that would be really efficient for doing her makeup, and she has different earrings than the ones from the day in.)

Obligatory talisman moment. I naively assumed that this necklace was custom-made for the show, but it's actually this necklace named "Adventure" from Pyrrah. According to the description, "The ship featured on this talisman represents adventure, while the anchors are symbolic of safety and security. Elephant trunks signify good luck. The caduceus is a symbol of Hermes, the patron saint of travelers." While not exactly what Hope describes (a charm to "make quiet things heard), it still seems appropriate for a character whose arc is so wrapped up in repression vs. expression, self-discovery, etc.) Particularly interested in the adventure/patron saint of travelers aspect, given when Josie makes her last appearance with it.

It costs a pretty penny, and there seem to be limited quantities left, as the item has been archived, but it's out there, for what it's worth out. (I'm on a grad student's stipend, sadly, otherwise I would be more seriously tempted. The details seem really intricate.)

She's also sporting what looks like a golden/bronze tie-on charm bracelet in this scene, but alas, I can't find it anywhere. Still, I find it interesting - I don't believe she wears it with her day outfit, but she is still wearing it when she approaches Jo in her dress. It's very pretty and feels a little more whimsical than her usual fare re: accessories.

What I love about Josie’s party dress—its timeless, classic, and elegant nature—also makes it hard to narrow down. I found a few options that it may be, but realistically, I’m not sure. (Am I mad at myself for being able to find so little this ep? Yes. Alas, if I keep letting that stop me, I will never finish this project.) If I had to guess, I would say I think they may have gotten this dress from a bridal shop and altered it somewhat.

I also usually try not to color correct quite so much, but this shot called for a little more, as Legacie's often skewed-green filtering was washing out the color, making it hard to tell the dress is pink.

Anyway, Josie is sporting a pale pink, gauzy dress with a sweetheart neckline. It's one of the looks that stands out to me most from season one (though maybe I just like formal wear), making me a bit said that we never get a particularly great shot of it. The one above is probably the clearest shot, but I wish we could have closed in on it to see some more detail, and seen it in better lighting. Alas, alack. The bottom is also cascading and a bit purposefully-torn looking (I don't know a better word for this, unfortunately), giving it almost the air of a dress from a fairytale.

She's also taken her hair down (though she seems to have perhaps curled it?) very specifically so she can ask Jo to braid it. It's very wholesome.

More readily visible here is that rhinestone belt Josie accessorizes with. (I didn't color correct as heavily again with this one, so you can see how much the lighting/color grading affects the look of the dress lmao.) It adds a bit of modernity to any otherwise very classic look. I'm also inclined to think it's either sewn into the dress itself, or is a cuff of some kind, because it doesn't extend to the back.

Instead, there's a white, silky looking bow on the back! It's simultaneously very classic and traditional while also coming off a bit young/juvenile, perhaps emphasizing the vulnerable position Josie finds herself in this episode.

Not pictured because we never get a great shot of them, but I would bet my life the white wedges she's wearing in this look are Aldos.

I know this is a series on Josie’s style and I keep bringing up Lizzie’s too, but I often find the comparison adds something interesting to the conversation! It’s fascinating to me (especially in an episode so focused on the differences in and unspoken but real tension between Josie and Lizzie’s wants and needs) that their different style preferences are SO on display in their birthday outfits. Josie’s dress is classically feminine and princess-like with a sweetheart neckline, whereas Lizzie’s bright blue fringe dress and white faux-fur shrug is reminiscent of old Hollywood with a modern it-girl twist. The differences in their personalities couldn’t be more on display here and given the content of the episode, I imagine that’s intentional. I also find it interesting/notable that Lizzie stays in-color theme with what both of the twins were wearing earlier, while Josie shifts away from it.

After getting buried alive, I think I'd probably feel the need for a shower, too. There was a LOT of dirt involved.

Her white tie robe looks fairly basic/standard. I think we may later see her in one that has the Salvatare 'S' emblazoned on, but this one doesn't seem to.

Not easily seen here, but if you pay close attention in this scene, she's still wearing the talisman Hope gave her underneath. <3

As Josie and Lizzie and Alaric say goodbye to Jo before the twins siphon the magic keeping her 'alive', they've both changed into much more casual clothes - Josie wearing grey sweats and a (very dark) blue sweatshirt, Lizzie in a red hoodie. VERY fair, considering the day they're having. It's interesting that they've switched color schemes, with Lizzie's red a deeper, warmer variation on the pink from Josie's dress earlier, and Josie's navy sweatshirt a similar callback to Lizzie's blue. Very ebb and flow of them. Also noteworthy, Josie's put her hair back up after her shower, whereas Lizzie has let hers back down.

Once again, if you look closely, the chain of the talisman is still visible underneath Josie's sweatshirt. I keep on noticing it because it seems like the type of thing she would normally take off for a shower or getting ready for bed, leading me to wonder if it's helping her feel safe, given what Hope said earlier about it helping them find her.

That's a wrap! I'm a bit disappointed I could only really find one item with this episode, but ah, well. You win and you lose some. As always, if anyone has any info on them, feel free to reach out so I can edit/update this post, and I'll be happy to credit you.

Favorite outfit:

Did you even have to ask?

[chevvy-yates]

but i don't want make them suffer :O ... anyways : 1 for Vijay, 5 for Thyjs, 7 for Ryder, 11 for Hizumi, 19 for Jaysen !

1. When have they been unable to save someone or something no matter how much they tried?

That would be his former girlfriend Reva he has been together with in Portland before he changed his life and moved to Night City. Reva fell into a hopeless cyberspychosis caused by adding more and more chrome to her body that was more like cheap scrap metal infected with lots of malware and at a certain point it took away her entire humanity. Once V noticed in his own drugged mind (as he used to take blue glass) that something is not right with her anymore, he tried to save her so hard. To talk her out of adding more and get it checked before installing. She grew very violent because of it and nearly killed V one day with her Mantis Blades (hence he's got the throat cyberware) so he had to defend himself to stay alive by uploading a brainware blowout to her in self defense. He's traumatized forever by that and has nightmares about it. Reva is a good example why Vijay is so concerned about his best friend Ryder as Ryder too walks at the edge of Cyberpsychosis but the difference between Ry and Reva is that Ry wants help to get rid of his problems, Reva didn't. Vijay will do everything to save Ryder. The installed mod is only a temporary help and also a safe option for V (as he fears out of control Ry wth blades out as well -> ptsd trauma) until they find a solution.

5. What's their moral compass like?

Thyjs is pragmatic and goal-oriented, values discipline, structure and rules, aligning himself with authority figures to maintain societal order. He does not care about what others think of his actions, he only cares about his actions being correct according to his moral code. But he dos not lecture his code to others. Moral decisions don’t come into the equation for him so even if he hurts others in carrying out his duty, he feels barely anything. It’s just business. So, when it comes to taking a life, Thyjs may do so if it aligns with the rules and laws he follows (aka Militech), even if it seems morally ambiguous. His actions are guided by a commitment to a well-ordered society, and he may prioritize the greater good over individual moral considerations. Because Thyjs as a Lawful Neutral can appear to be emotionless in following his laws it is easy for him to appear Lawful Evil. However, unlike Lawful Evil, he does not do it for enjoyment, nor is he seeking to spread evil in society. There's also the fact that some of the combat drugs he took infected his decisions. Thyjs will eliminate others while defending his allies. In fact, he will follow any order given to him by a person in a position of power in the system of order that he follows. He was raised to be like this since he was a child. When in society, Thyjs will always act as is fitting for his role and position in society and expects others to do the same. As an ally, he is honest and trustworthy and will never break promises.

7. What's their pain tolerance?

Ryder has a very high pain tolerance. That has mostly to do with his Berserk system as it compensates the taken damage for more strength but even before he installed that cyberware, he somehow learned to endure pain more or less, both physically and mentally as neither his childhood nor his young adulthood were painless. Beast also inflicts a lot of pain to him, especially when he's not able to controll it and is doomed to watch it using him. It's hard to describe this pain he's feeling. But coming back to physical pain, e.g. during fights. No matter how hard he will be slammed against something he will get up and continue to fight as said berserk helps him to compensate and ignore it for a certain time spawn. He already broke several rips without knowing, even tho he's got dermal armor as protection installed. When he eases back down only then he might feel something at least distorted when it's not broken. He won't be whiny about it tho – it's the contrary, he acts like it's nothing. Vijay (and later Thyjs) will have to command him to stay in bed and recover.

11. Do they have empathy? For whom? For what?

Hizumi has empathy for people that have same or similar interests as them. If you are totally into mythical creatures or even into their home country Japan, Hizumi will consider to like you faster than normal. They only like those with a good heart and soul and who appreciate their weird self as Hizumi likes to not talk mostly. So if you are someone who appreciates just their presence without feeling the need to constantly talk about certain topics they will appreciate you lots.

19. How do they view the world? Are they an optimist? A pessimist? A realist?

Jaysen views the world like a western – just in a modern setting. You have the outlaws (the bad gangers), you have the bankers (corporates), you have the sheriff (ncpd) and you have the bounty hunters (mercs). Only the strongest survive in it and a good bounty hunter knows how to get around and how to earn money. He's got an optimisitic world view and thinks all will play into his hands somehow and that he's too clever to be caught or locked up as his netrunner skills are above that of a normal runner and he will always find an escape route. And even bad days don't let him be pessimistic, he knows after bad days comes good ones as well.

[tanetime]

20. Does Wyneer have any interesting facts regarding his creation?

This turned into me just rambling about making Wyneer and I'm so sorry.

I made Wyneer because me and some friends at the time decided to make DST mods together. My design prompt was "a jack of all trades." I pieced together inspiration from some old noh actor OCs of mine and imagery from a song I was obsesed with at the time and got Wyneer out of it.

The face on his mask used to be a lot smaller, and his hair less angular. You can see him become more DST-animatic-like over time... it's like putting a normal dog next to a pug.

His original outfit (not pictured bc the art sucked) was a lot fancier and later became the basis for his original guest of honour skin.

Wyneer originally had no name or gender or personality at all. He was supposed to be a blank slate and exaggerate certain personality traits through his masks...

...The problem was that I didn't have any masks. It took like six months for the first ones to get concept art. In that time, Wyneer developed an identity of his own. So the masks had to change into being different 'people'.

Wyneer himself hasn't changed very much, but his masks changed a lot. Under the cut I'll talk about the masks who made it into his mod, but here's two that didn't:

A kelp based mask, who was supposed to be used during seafaring. I think they got more stats from eating raw fish to allow them to stay at sea longer? They were very creature and liked to just sit in ponds.

A beefalo-wool mask who had an affinity toward animals. I don't have a whole lot of concept art of them because I drew them once and went "that's it that's the design."

Both of these masks got cut because ultimately I couldn't come up with anything for them to do that justified them existing. I don't think they'll ever come back.

As for the ones that made it in...

now let's talk about

The Masks

Here's some quick-fire things.

1. Fright n Flight, Brave Face and Laborious were the first masks I made, and I made them all together. Fright was the first to get modded in, Brave was the first to get sprites, and Lay was the first to develop an individual personality that wasn't part of Wyneer.

For the longest time the masks in his mod looked like this because they had no designs (that's Fright on the right):

2. Brave Face and About Face only exist because their names are puns, and their mechanics are based on those puns. Boutey was supposed to be a comedy/tragedy mask until he became whatever the hell he ended up as.

3. Going back to Brave, if you'll remember I said that Wyneer's masks added to his personality originally. Back then his masks had more abstract designs and weren't designed to emote. For a very small period of time, Brave was a dragon!

There's nothing left of this iteration other than his sharp teeth.

Fright was also a monster for a bit, but this was around the time I decided to make the masks people, so they became more reminisent of human faces instead.

Brave was the hardest mask to design. He used to be blue and green and resemble actual artefacts that were supposedly made by Celtic tribes, but the colours 1. looked bad digitally 2. bore no resemblence to any materials in Don't Starve. His final design was colour-picked from Wigfrid's Winged Victory set for cohesion.

It pains me that he's now a typical movie interprenation of generic Celtic things but it does make sense that Wyneer mistakenly thought that was what he should look like...

4. About Face and Jet Black were originally the same mask. About Face was originally "a rogue that becomes a tank" so his high sanity form couldn't be noticed by enemies unless he attacked them first.

It was a bit much, and I was debating making a crow feather mask, so I split that half of Boutey into Blake's original version. It got coded in but I ultimately didn't like it and removed it.

5. Wyneer had a whooole upgrade pyramid of masks involving different seasons. The idea was that there were four masks that had a season that suited them, and you could combine the masks together to sets of pairs to ultimately form a mask that consolidated all of their perks.

I got as far as making Crimson and Azure (summer and winter) before realising that the idea sounded cool on paper but introduced a lot of masks that were going to be redundant.

Wyneer did design Jet Black with the intent of him consolidating Crimson and Azure's abilities, but that's not quite what purple gems do.

6. Nightmare Face used to glow magenta, like the other Ruins stuff. However, DST's colour cubes wash out magenta into a disgusting grey colour under certain circumstances, so I changed it to red.

Klei later did the same thing with the Nightmare Werepig. I wonder if the same realisation happened to them.

7. The masks were originally supposed to have slightly different hair and wear Wyneer's clothes differently. I did the former for Brave and Boutey and immediately realised that it would be a nightmare and stopped doing it for the remaining masks.

8. Several of Wyneer's masks are based on venetian masks.

9. Wyneer's masks had a crafting tab icon before Klei nuked it. I still think it looks cool.

10. The masks in Wyneer's mod are fully animated and have a disgusting amount of sprites. I wanted each one to feel unique, so I drew them all from scratch. It took so long to make them all that you can see me getting better or rustier between each one... it was a lot of work, but I really enjoy searching for an emotion and seeing how each one looks.

11. Wyneer's masks are so unique that they broke the Modded Skins API and as of this post the hyperspecific glitch that effects him has not been fixed. Thanks Wyneer.

...I could go on forever, but this post is way too long...

As a sendoff, here are the beta inventory icons for the masks, for no particular reason.

[hmshermitcraft]

Gem has low self-esteem, it's barely there. She thinks that she isn't good enough for the hermits. It's not true, it really isn't. The hermits love her with their whole hearts. Still, Gem can't help but think as if she doesn't deserve to be a hermit, as if she's useless, as if she's just someone in the background. As if she could just easily be replaced. She has nightmares about it actually, whenever she wakes up, she fears the hermits have replaced her. This sadly leads to some... self harm.

Gem knows, logically, that the hermits love her. That the hermits have said that they wouldn’t trade their Gemstone for anything in the world. That the hermits have said time and time again that she is more than good enough. She knows that. It’s just too bad her heart and intrusive thoughts and depression have a different way of thinking.

She has all the nice things they’ve said to her tucked up close to her heart. But sometimes she can’t help but wonder and question. Especially when there’s silence. When there’s nothing around to do. She wonders if they truly mean it or if they just pity her. And then starts the cycle of hating herself for doubting the hermits. And then paranoia. And then guilt. It’s a cycle that seems impossible to escape.

Before she knows it, she hadn’t even realized it, she’s awake. High alert. Thoughts racing. She hadn’t even noticed she fell asleep. Did she really fall asleep? Or was it real? Is she still dreaming? She can’t be dreaming, she can’t, her dreams are almost always bad.

She doesn’t even realize what had happened until a parts of her body sting with pain she hadn’t realized was there. And then she cries.

After an unknown amount of time, she can hear voices. Oh. It’s the other hermits. She tries to explain, but she can’t. Her voice won’t work. But the hermits won’t force her to explain, they just gentle clean her up, telling her what they do before doing it, all the while speaking in a soft voice.

Time and actions blur again, and the next time Gem is more or less aware of her surroundings, she finds she’s tired again. And normally, she would be opposed to sleep, but more than a few of her lovers are there with her. Not enough to overwhelm her with people, but enough that she can feel their concern and care. She wants to apologize for them having to see her like that, but she can’t bring her self to break this spell-like/trance-like moment. Instead, she closes her eyes and has a dreamless sleep. Her lovers will be with her when she wakes up. They wouldn’t dare leave while their Gemstone is so emotionally fragile. No matter how many times this cycle repeats, they’ll always be their for their darling Gemstone.

(Just a note from Mod Sleepy, I hope this is okay and what you were expecting. If you or anyone are reading this for comfort, I hope life will ease up on you. You’re doing well going one step at a time. It’s okay if you need a rest and it’s okay if you stumble and fall as long as you try and get up again. I believe in you)

[kate66s]

LAD AND NON BINARY PALS, I PRESENT

My TFA oc Redesigns

I aged up Nancy a bit more and added way more colors and details to both Nancy and Vanguard, along with giving Nancy a different kind of story along side Vanguard.

Let's get this show on the road

Vanguard

He is still a Carterham 7 come to life from an all spark fragment, just like Wreak-Gar and the Constructions. With a need for speed and exploration this Bot just can't seem to stay way from trouble, constantly stumbling into the wrong places. He didn't have any weapons when he came to life so Nancy (who he considers his Best Friend) had to pick up a thing or two on cybertronian tech and weaponry just so she could provide him something to protect himself. The "young" bot is highly friendly, having a attitude of a spunky drag racer who can't stop living life in the fast lane Vanguard is the more optimistic part of this duo. Always bringing Nancy along for the ride sense he believes that she needs moments to just have fun and he isn't wrong about Nancy loving a good joy ride through the abandoned outskirts of Detroit. But like any spunky bot who can't help but seek new fun and adventure he always seems to run into the wrong bots, or at least he is constant running into bots and causing a bigger ruckus than there needs to be. With Vanguard not being allied with autobots or decepticons it puts him in an odd grey area which to a good amount of bots makes him seem like either a loss cannon, free spare parts or mistake him for being on a side. Never the less Vanguard is open to bots no matter their allegiance, but if you're doing something that puts others in danger or in harm he will call you out on it and advise how to do things more safely....if a bot doesn't wanna listen or wants to pick a fight then they better hope Nancy isn't thinking about robo-murder for disrespecting her Bro-bot.

Nancy Witwicky

After she went off to college for a robotics degree, she drifted apart from her family, growing tired of her father and brother's meekness and her mother just standing by. Nancy wanted to actually do something with her life. She wasn't sure what, but it was in the field of robotics. She eventually got herself set up working as a mechanic and doing routine maintenance on malfunction robots in the city of Detroit. Eventually, she started to notice patterns of malfunctions for robots and other pieces of techniques. They all had some kind of rock shard inside them (a fragment of the all spark). After she had found one shard, she had accidentally left it out by her car, and overnight, the shard lodged itself into her Carterham 7 and brought to life Vanguard. After that she decided it was high time she figured out the kind of tech that the robots like Vanguard used or were built up of and sense Detroit seemed to be a hot spot for these robots she pokes around some of the wreak cites and finds scraps of metal and tech that broke off during battles. With all these scraps, she basically Sumdac's the stuff and reverse engineer the tech. She eventually figures out how to repair cybertronian based bots thanks to this (along with the fact she has to constantly repair Vanguard when ever he gets damaged) and figures out how to create weapons similar to cybertronian weaponry but it was only blasters, EMP based weapons and energy blades. She then decided to make cybertronian weapons and be a Repair Doc for Bots to. All they had to do was find her and pay her. The only problem was that her location wasn't well known since she decided to make her home out of an abandoned Hanger in the middle of nowhere around Detroit. Giving her plenty of space for projects, stations, and repair bays for bots. But trust me when I say she isn't a push over. She created a weapon just for herself to make sure she could fight back. It's a combo weapon that has two separate mods. It has a dull blade mode and a sniper rifle mode that acts similar to an anti tank rifle which means it should either knock down any bot or kill them. She calls the weapon Black Betty cuz she likes to make bots think it's a person when they've never seen it.

Now I will confess, Black Betty is kind of based on the Dagger Gun from Age of Extinction but I changed it up by making the two sides of the blades be disconnectable to just be normal blades. I haven't gotten to draw it yet but I will get around to it eventually.

HOPE YOU ENJOYS THIS

[queerplatonic-headcanons]

Mod Headcanon: Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, & Clark Kent (aka the World’s Finest)

(It’s no secret I’m not as big of a DC fan as I am of Marvel, so this is gonna be a mashup of various comics, movies, and animated shows, and a small headcanon plotline in the middle there.)

Bruce is AroAce and Trans

Diana is Bi/Pan

Clark is Queer and Nonbinary

Bruce Wayne is Gotham’s most notorious playboy. At least as far as the public is concerned, and Bruce is happy to let them believe it. The truth is unlikely to do any good for his, or the company’s, image. As a child, regardless of the wealth his parents left behind, and an endless number of suitors, of all classes and genders, being thrown at his feet, he preferred solitude to company, would rather pursue knowledge than courtship. He remained much the same through high school and college, until his ‘peers’ started to notice his lack of interest, and he learned to fake it just enough to keep the jackals in the press off his heels. Becoming the Bat was freeing in a way. He sacrificed very little during his training, less than other men had done, at least, and thrived without the expectations and judgment of Gotham’s High Society. He found it harder to keep up the mask of Bruce Wayne when he came back, and spent every party longing for moonlit rooftops. He was never fond of dancing, never liked what it alluded to, the forced intimacy and fumbling hands ever present reminders of desires he couldn’t reciprocate. As the Bat, though, he wasn’t beholden to the expectations of what a man should want or be, all people asked of him was justice, protection, a knight in shadowed armour. There was one like him, a Cat with expensive tastes, who feigned hunger the way he did, who saw right through his façade, left him with the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, and promised him a partner who wanted nothing beyond a dance.

He wasn’t thinking about optics when he adopted Dick, but having an heir put an end to the ever-increasing pressure from his contemporaries and the media to “think about his legacy”. Though children were never part of his original plan, he found that fatherhood suited him well, and for most of his children he was able to skip the unpleasant part of making the kid. He never resented or regretted Damian, but he never forgave Talia. She didn’t take no for an answer, and when he wouldn’t give her what she wanted, she took it. Clark and Diana learned very quickly not to press that particular subject.

Diana had always loved without regard to gender, though she never gave it much thought until she left Themyscira, because it was not something that was ever taboo. There were many things she found strange about humans, but the way they treated love with so much hatred she could never comprehend. The amazons knew of all kinds of love, and the most revered bond was that between sisters in arms: not just warriors who fought together, but those whose bond was so strong they fought as one. Diana longed for that connection, never found it in Themyscira, almost had it with Steve, and finally found it in Bruce and Clark.

Bruce especially reminded her of a fellow amazon she had once loved dearly, and thought she might share that warrior’s bond with. It was centuries before she left the island herself, and he had confessed to her that he’d never felt like the woman everyone mistook him for, and she could see how desperately he wanted to be free of the expectations others placed on him. She knew the feeling to a certain extent. So she helped him flee Themyscira, and still holds out hope she may one day find him here, in the world of man, and that he would understand her joy at having found that bond she had once looked for in him.

Growing up, Clark always felt a disconnect between the gender their Ma and Pa told them they were and the way they felt on the inside. When they learned of their heritage, they figured it must be an alien thing, which it was. Kind of. There was no exact human equivalent for the kryptonian concepts of gender, but some spelunking through google landed them with a few helpful words: nonbinary, xenogender, and singular they.

Clark had always thought everybody was pretty, but tried to ignore the feelings that would get a ‘boy’ living in rural Kansas into trouble. They did confide in Ma and Pa, who were amazing about it, but they didn’t feel like their parents would ever completely understand. The whole ‘actually an alien’ thing definitely helped explain the gender thing, but left them conflicted as to whether they found everybody pretty because their own gender was ‘different’ to everyone else’s, or if their gender and others’ didn’t factor into it at all. Eventually they settled on being just plain Queer and went on with their life.

Lois broke it off because, though she did love them, try as she might, she was straight, and she just couldn’t love them the way they loved her, seeing as she was only attracted to men, something they just weren’t. The two stayed friends, and eventually Lois was the one that gave them the final push to talk out their feelings with Diana and Bruce.

Their attraction to the two was another thing that they thought, at first, was another weird alien thing. They knew after the first meeting they found them both distractingly pretty, and after getting to know them, they could feel themself falling deeply in… something. It felt like love but they also knew that, try as they might, whatever this was was very much not romantic or sexual, and they had plenty of experience with what those felt like, this just… wasn’t that. It wasn’t until after another intensive round of googling that Clark found that what they were feeling was just as human as it was Kryptonian.

It was Clark who finally got the ball rolling, sat the other two down and confessed all they had been feeling and said, in no uncertain terms, what they wanted, the relationship they hoped to pursue. Diana was delighted to find that humans(and, evidently, Kryptonians) had a similar bond in their society to the one she was hoping for with the warriors near to her. Bruce was the hardest to convince, not because he didn’t reciprocate, he very much did, but because they couldn’t quite believe that they really only wanted a, what had Clark called it? A QPR with him and nothing… beyond that. Though he hadn’t said anything about it, Clark and Diana were quite sure now that Talia had not been the only one is Bruce’s life who struggled with the word “No.”

It took a while and a lot of reassuring, but Bruce eventually allowed himself to believe them, and agreed to what turned out to be, their opinion, at least, the World’s Finest QPR.

[wastelandhell]

Thank you so much @bokatan and @h3raklion for the tag!

I can tell this is going to become a patented Furby wall of text™ so I'll just throw in a cut now. tl;dr: I love you all and i draw danse way too much

This has been an interesting year mostly in that its my first time posting personal art online in, what, 7 years? I stopped doing this kind of drawing shortly after high school. I picked up painting flash and have been focusing on my tattooing since then. In that time I never did any digital drawing or character drawing until 2 years ago this month, when I drew Val for the first time.

I was terrified to post anything anywhere, I think I posted one piece to reddit, but besides that I kept everything pretty private until April of 2022. I originally made this blog as a place to silently post my drawings and screenshots while providing a sort of devlog of my mods for my own records, and didn't think I would be noticed. I didn't realize people tracked the paladin danse tag, lol!

I'm really glad for all the people I've met through here, I never would have kept this blog up if it weren't for the wonderful messages from all of you guys. So much of my art, both in subject and execution has been influenced by the other users I've had the pleasure of interacting with and I hope to keep it up this year!

You all know I mostly just draw Val and Danse, and this is the palette I use for most things:

These are all pretty drab, I use different of blending layers and photoshop adjustments to get the colours how I want them at the end.

I usually try to use different brushes in each of my drawings, but these are the ones I come back to most often. The first one is a variant of one of these brushes, I modified it to change size based on direction and tilt. I used the brush almost exclusively until august and its still my favourite for quickly laying out forms and values. I use this one for freckles. The rest are some of my top picks from True Grit Texture Supply, mostly from Chromagraph and Monomania.

I'm glad I was able to really get into drawing this year, and going through my folder I'm pleased with how my anatomy and faces have improved. However I am disappointed in how much of it is just the same ginger fuck. I'm really stunting my growth by not varying my subjects, and now that I'm more comfortable with the tools I want to push myself to actually. uh. try. Put in the effort to make art that says something, tells a story. Less single characters floating in blank voids. More people interacting, scenes, environments. I also really want to get back into digital painting, I used to be really into digital painting and in theory know how to do it. I'm going to try and dig out that old knowledge lol.

Despite being bit bland, and having some glaring errors that still bug me, that Danse drawing is still one of my favourites. I think I spent at least 8 hours on it. I was dealing with some personal issues at the time and just really wanted to scratch that brain itch that the bos knight uniform gives me. It's stupid, I hate it, I can draw it nearly completely from memory by how often I'm looking at it.

The 'tried something new' panel is difficult because I feel like a lot of my recent work has been pretty stagnant. It's all done with the same technique, same palette, same boring cel shading, same layer order, boring. This is one of the few times I did any proper digital painting, and tried to adapt the looser style that I use when I'm drawing in analogue mediums to my digital work.

I just talked about art here and not mods because that would be a whole other wall of text. But it would boil down to: love to do it, no time, and expensive.

Also, if anybody is interested, I do my drawing in Clip Studio Paint and Photoshop on a Surface Laptop Studio.

[newmusickarl]

Top 50 Albums of 2023: #10-1

10. Lost In A Rush of Emptiness by Bleach Lab

It’s safe to say, 2023 has been a year of some fantastic debut albums. This Top 50 countdown has already seen incredible first outings from the likes of SIPHO, Barry Can’t Swim, Blondshell, CASisDEAD and Holly Humberstone all featured, and now the big Top 10 features no less than four debut records. However, with two of those coming from well-established acts taking on new projects and another one more a final testament, I think that means London-based quartet Bleach Lab technically take my debut album of the year title.

Lost In A Rush of Emptiness is an utterly stunning debut, one that I’ve found myself constantly reaching for during these cold, dark evenings. Similar to the Mitski record on the previous blog, this is an album that demands you stick on your headphones and just dive into the whirlpool of gorgeous sounds with which you are presented.

Bringing together elements of shoegaze and melodic indie rock, gorgeous flourishes of strings and the softly spoken vocals of frontwoman Jenna Kyle, it’s an album that will leave you completely entranced from the get-go. Particularly worth diving into is the majestic opening trio of All Night, Indigo and Counting Empties, along with Smile For Me and the astonishing 7-minute closer, Life Gets Better. They may still be in their infancy, but between their EPs and now this debut, Bleach Lab have proven they already have the knack of creating music in which you’ll want to just completely immerse yourself.

Best tracks: Indigo, Counting Empties, Smile For Me

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9. CACTI by Billy Nomates

Albums released in January always have the hardest job of sticking it out to make year-end lists. So, the fact this sophomore album from Tor Maries, AKA Billy Nomates, has made it into my Top 10 of the year is a testament to its greatness. A record which won the inaugural 5-9 Album of the Month title, CACTI is an addictive, pulsating record that delves deep into isolation, politics and relationship breakdowns.

Whilst her self-titled debut was impressive, it’s clear CACTI is a huge step up. On her debut you could very much hear the similarities to her frequent collaborators in Notts’ duo Sleaford Mods - politically charged punk with spoken word vocals and some DIY electronics. Whilst CACTI still carries that raw punk energy, partly due to the album being recorded in Tor’s own flat, there is a noticeable uplift in the songcraft and vocal performances from her previous effort.

It's simply littered with sublime moments too, with the first five songs particularly strong. Balance Is gone is an invigorating opener, black curtains in the bag is a soulful electronic track whilst blue bones (deathwish) boasts a powerfully anthemic chorus. It doesn’t let up in the back half either, as spite with its grungy guitars, fawner with its bare bones acoustics and blackout signal with its air of finality all leave their mark too.

In a year of some difficulty for Billy Nomates, I hope she leaves 2023 proud of what she accomplished. Internet trolls will sadly always make noise, but they will never achieve anything like what Tor has crafted with CACTI. A personal, resonant record that simply beams with her wonderful, unique artistry.

Best tracks: Blue Bones (Deathwish), Spite, Blackout Signal

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8. Desire, I Want To Turn Into You by Caroline Polachek

2023 set a high standard for pop records, but arguably none left a bigger mark than Desire, I Want To Turn Into You by American alt-pop artist, Caroline Polachek.

Back in February, Caroline gifted this album a few days earlier than planned, releasing it on Valentine’s Day. It was a date that felt fitting, given this album’s undeniable passion. Sonically it’s a mesmerising listen, with Caroline throwing the kitchen sink at this one by incorporating bagpipes (Blood and Butter), Spanish Flamenco guitars (Sunset) and even a children’s choir (Billions). There’s also a blockbuster collaboration with both Grimes and Dido (Fly to You), two artists whose influence you can hear frequently across many of the album’s other highlights.

Although the individual moments themselves are full of vitality, the beauty of this album lies in the sonic journey on which it takes you. From the Tarzan-like cries of introductory track Welcome To My Island, the Charli XCX pop stylings of Bunny Is A Rider, the Eurovision glow of I Believe to the folk-dance of Smoke, Caroline delivers a vibrant explosion of sound at every turn.

Colourful, uplifting and filled with endlessly fascinating sonic exploration, Caroline owned 2023 by delivering a masterclass in experimental and art-driven pop music, earning herself countless new fans along the way. Rightfully one of the most acclaimed records of the year, this is without a doubt one of the 2023’s defining albums from any genre.

Best tracks: Welcome To My Island, Blood and Butter, Butterfly Net

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7. Chaos For The Fly by Grian Chatten

He may only be four albums into his career, but Grian Chatten has already forged himself a formidable legacy. Before this year, Grian had a 100% track record of getting into my Top 20 Albums of the Year, with all three Fontaines D.C. records making it in there. So with 2023 seeing him drop his first solo outing, I was obviously curious to see if it could live up to the standard set by his work in Fontaines. I’m pleased to say it absolutely did and Grian deservedly earns himself another Top 10 finish for the second year running.

Here’s what I had to say about the record, when I reviewed it back in June:

“Inspired by a late-night walk through the worn casinos and bars of Stoney Beach (around thirty miles north of Dublin), the album was essentially written in Grian’s mind that very same night, as he jotted down lyrics and clearly envisioned the sonic direction which he wanted to take with this solo project. Knowing it wasn’t going to be a Fontaines album, he still teamed up with regular producer Dan Carey to bring these songs and the tales of murky coastal glamour to life. The result is one of the best albums of the year so far, a dazzling dose of melancholic splendour that strengthens Grian Chatten’s position as one of the finest songwriters working today. Lead single The Score opens proceedings and sets the scene perfectly, instantly transporting the listener to a lustful evening in Madrid on this sun-kissed acoustic track. Follow-up Last Time Every Time Forever then flies us instantly back to that dilapidated season town in Ireland, with Grian illustrating imagery of seagulls and slot machines with sweeping strings, flashes of synths and some gentle vocals from his partner Georgie Jesson. It’s a poetic early highlight, with memorable, wonderfully written lines like “Without a chance, I'm king of every single thing, and it’s the cheapest spend, to make a dead heart sing.” The brilliant Fairlies then rounds off this opening trio of singles, with its stuttering strums and resplendent chorus. Supposedly written under the influence of a lot of beers, it makes poignant lines like “The boat is drifting in, the weight is cast, how can life go so slowly and death come so fast?” even more impressive. With this incredible first solo effort, Grian continues to justify the hype and prove his greatness, with this album for me more than able to stand shoulder to shoulder with the three exceptional Fontaines records that are already out living in the wild. While it may lack the raw primal power of those records, it more than makes up for it with a wealth of rich instrumentation, accomplished musicianship and engaging, vivid stories. Whether you’re a Fontaines fan or not: sit back, hit play and revel in the chaos.”

Best tracks: Fairlies, Season For Pain, All of the People

Read the full HeadStuff review here

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6. PARANOÏA, ANGELS, TRUE LOVE by Christine & The Queens

Whilst I’ve always been a fan of Christine & The Queens’ records, I’ve maybe enjoyed and appreciated the music without the albums necessarily ending up in my year-end list. This has all changed in 2023 though as Red (formerly Chris/Christine) delivered without a doubt the most ambitious record of the year, which has also ended up being one of my most played of the last 12 months too.

Seeing Christine & The Queens at Best Kept Secret festival over the summer and then catching Red’s subsequent Glasto performance turned out to be quite essential for understanding the concept for this complex triple album. Whilst of course the record can be enjoyed on the surface, Red’s full vision becomes clear once you’ve deduced the narrative arc at the heart of the record. Essentially it tells the story of an Angel coming down from the sky, enjoying all our earthly pleasures, falling in love and then eventually returning through the “sky door” to the “Big Eye” in the sky. What’s more, the role of the Big Eye character is played by none other than Madonna, who acts as the narrator throughout this three-part journey. Underlying within that story are heavy themes of grief, as Red lost his mother in 2019 and that loss is still very much present here, with some truly heartbreaking lyrics being delivered at times.

As you can tell there is a lot to unpack with this one - it’s massively ambitious, deeply personal and at 90-minutes long, it can admittedly be quite self-indulgent in places. So whilst this definitely isn’t an album for everyone, as someone who adores concept records that play out almost like novels, the scope and artistry of this album has drawn me back in time and time again over the last six months.

The first two parts in particular are really special – Tears can be so soft draws shades to Massive Attack whilst Marvin descending is full of soulfulness. Over on part two, He’s been shining for ever, your son channels Kate Bush, Flowery Days is a stunning ballad and 070 Shake collaboration True Love is just a really fantastic pop song. A special mention also to Mike Dean, whose production throughout the record is superb as always.

This is a record where Red swung for the fence and ended up producing something quite beautiful and unlike anything else all year. An unapologetic, uncompromising, and utterly staggering work of art, the originality and imagination of Christine & The Queens’ music continues to be unmatched.

Best tracks: True Love, He’s been shining for ever your son, Tears can be so soft

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5. Strange Disciple by Nation of Language

A couple of months back when indie-pop trio Nation of Language dropped their brilliant third album Strange Disciple, I saw someone call them the undisputed band of the 2020s so far. Given the quality of their first three records, I think I’d be inclined to agree. Already named as Rough Trade’s Album of the Year for 2023, Strange Disciple is the sound of one of the most exciting new acts of the last few years, operating at the top of their game and crafting some of their very best songs to date in the process.

Here’s what I had to say about the record, when I reviewed it for HeadStuff back in September:

“On this latest opus Nation of Language very much give the fans what they have come to expect from them, which is retro-inspired tunes in the vein of great bands like New Order and OMD. There are no radical sonic direction changes, so if you enjoyed their first two records the good news is you’ll likely love this one as well. This is simply Nation of Language having now mastered their sound, taking it to grand new heights. Some of their finest tracks to date can be found here, songs of romantic adoration and unhealthy infatuations backdropped against playful synth melodies that just make you want to groove. Opener Weak In Your Light gets proceedings off to an exhilarating start, bouncing along on a minimalist synth beat whilst front man Ian Richard Devaney’s impassioned vocal performance steals the show. Spiritual title track and lead single Sole Obsession is then one of the trio’s finest outings to date, with its infectious bassline, pulsating electronics and Devaney’s vocal tones once again gliding resonantly across the hypnotic sounds on display. It’s a stellar opening combo which will see fans old and new jiving with joy. There is no mid-album slump to be found either as after a thrilling first half, Nation of Language just keep the highlights coming. Spare Me The Decision is another career-best moment, with a meandering bassline and siren-like synths as Devaney achingly sings “You weigh on my mind, all night.” The guitars then takeover once again, as Sightseer gracefully echoes in reverberating melancholy before Stumbling Still injects the album with a scintillating rush, a track that sounds guaranteed to become an instant live favourite. A New Goodbye then moulds together some delicate yet somewhat operatic moments with a catchy chorus, whilst closer I Will Never Learn ties things all together with lyrics about being broken and imprisoned in a never-ending cycle of addictive obsession. There is no doubt this is some of Nation of Language’s best work, with Strange Disciple coming marginally closer to matching the greatness of their debut than that of its (also fantastic) predecessor. That said, it’s an opening trilogy of albums most other bands could only dream of, and if there is one thing I would say going into the next record is I’d like to see how far Nation of Language can push their sound from this point.”

Best tracks: Sole Obsession, Spare Me the Decision, Sightseer

Read the full HeadStuff review here

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4. Lullabies From The Lightning Tree by Sad Boys Club

A hugely bittersweet entry into the countdown now as we arrive at the first and only album from London-based quartet, Sad Boys Club. Having released this record back in May which I hoped would be a launch pad onto the next stage of their career, this November saw Sad Boys Club sadly play their final show before disbanding and going their separate paths. As a result it’s an album that’s gone up a notch in my estimation, shifting from one of my most played of the year and one that I thoroughly enjoyed, to one of the year’s most important and monumental releases.

In many ways, Lullabies From The Lightning Tree isn’t just about Sad Boys Club and a lasting memory of their incredible talents and the joy their music brought. It is a reminder also to support up-and-coming musicians in any way you can, as you never know how long they will be around in this current climate of nostalgia-act obsession and streaming underpayments. That’s maybe a bigger discussion for another day, for now let’s take a minute to discuss what makes this Sad Boys Club album so special.

As their name suggests, the London-based quartet very much wore their influences on their sleeve. At times you’d find them channelling the goth-rock of The Cure, at others the melodic emo of bands like Death Cab For Cutie and Sunny Day Real Estate. Sometimes it may even be the shimmering indie-pop of more contemporary bands like Spector and The 1975. However, whilst the inspirations behind their music were always clear, Sad Boys Club’s uniqueness lay in them bringing together all these touchpoints to forge a genre-defying sound that was entirely of their own making.

This mission statement is laid out straight away on thunderous introduction Peak, which sees frontman Jacob Wheldon at his most Robert Smith-esque as he describes deep seas and fires burning. Fully living up to its name, Delicious is then an addictive alt-rock banger filled with tasty hooks and poignant lines like “I guess the love that stretched miles wide was maybe only ever inches deep.” It highlights one of the record’s biggest strengths which is Jacob Wheldon’s heartfelt, nuanced lyricism.

The album then hits another peak with lead single To Heal Without A Scar (Is A Waste of A Good Wound), an indie-rock anthem where Wheldon sings of his own instincts to self-sabotage so that he can remain creative and inspired to write songs. Throughout the track he confesses to pushing himself to the brink for his art, with “one hand on the canvas, the other on the curtain” before then exclaiming “it’s never a car ‘till it crashes.” Eventually it hits boiling point around the three-minute mark, with a seismic instrumental breakdown exploding around Wheldon as he empties his lungs into the delivery of the words: “I am pursuing you Life, to the end of the earth, across an Amazon of portable TV screens.”

The band then save two of their finest moments for a strong finale, with Cemetery Song, 20/5 showcasing Sad Boys Club at their darkest and most vulnerable. With his honest words surrounded by a beautiful arrangement of soaring strings and folky banjos, Wheldon reflects on living with his brother during a particularly tough period. It is a stunning piece of songcraft, that is both a real gut-punch but ultimately quite uplifting too. (You’re) All I Ever Wanna Do then brings the record to a close amidst a triumphant soiree of blues rock, a wonderful love letter from the band to each other.

As I said at the start, this record should’ve been the launch pad for this band but it seems life just had other plans. It is a mighty shame we won’t get any more new music from Sad Boys Club going forward, but I am also so grateful I have this treasure trove of an album that I can turn to now whenever I need it. As a final parting gift to their fans, it’s damn near perfect.

Best tracks: Delicious, To Heal Without A Scar (Is a Waste of a Good Wound), Cemetery Song 20/5

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3. No Joy by Spanish Love Songs

You know when an album comes along and just seems to get you? Says all the right things that speak to your soul and as a result, it resonates with you like nothing else. Well, that is exactly what this album from American rock outfit Spanish Love Songs does for me. Whilst this may not be the most revolutionary instalment of this list, this is a rock record that uses sentiment and lyrical prowess to emotionally hit you hard, then pull you back in time and time again.

Although I named it as a runner-up to Genesis Owusu’s record back on the August edition of the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast, as the weather has turned a little chillier, I’ve found myself constantly listening to it. Packing the same punch as its predecessor Brave Faces Everyone but with more refined production and songcraft, you can hear how Spanish Love Songs have matured on this effort. Whilst die-hards may well prefer the rawer sound of their earlier efforts, No Joy is the one that has clicked with me the most.

Lyrically very dark and intense, the music counteracts the darkness of the lyrical themes and balances it perfectly, with instrumentation that is both cathartic and uplifting. Lifers is a stop-you-in-your-tracks opener, full of vivid imagery with a great central riff and a big chorus. Then you’ve got an awesome trio of singles, Pendulum, Haunted and Clean-Up Crew, with the line in the latter “Fuck the garden and the yard, we can barely tend to our own dreams” particularly cutting.

The second half is then more of the same, but that certainly isn’t a negative. Mutable boasts atmospheric synths that help set the mood, whilst Exit Bags is a really tender penultimate track. Finally, Re-emerging Signs of the Apocalypse delivers the triumphant climax this album deserves.

So, whilst it’s admittedly not going to win any originality prizes, No Joy is a record that I just absolutely adore. With hard-hitting songwriting that makes for a stunning collection of tracks from beginning to end, Spanish Love Songs prove they are a band making soaring rock anthems better than anybody else in their scene right now.

Best tracks: Pendulum, Haunted, Clean-Up Crew

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2. Heavy Heavy by Young Fathers

So here we arrive at my runner-up Album of the Year for 2023 and in many ways, it is the record that has most defined the year for me. From listening to it on repeat when it first dropped back in February, to catching their jaw-dropping performance at Best Kept Secret festival over the summer, to then rooting for them to win the Mercury Prize in September. An album as adventurous and joyous as any released in 2023 – my No.2 album for 2023 is of course Heavy Heavy, the awe-inspiring fourth album from Scottish trio, Young Fathers.

An album that rides a hugely uplifting sonic wave from start to finish, Young Fathers convey their message more through mood than through lyrics most of the time. As a result, it plays out like a celebration happening right between your ears, with the vibrancy of the music shining through and leaving its melodies happily lodged in your brain. Rice starts it all off with this wonderful tribal jubilance before I Saw draws comparisons to Tame Impala’s Elephant with its stomping beat, with both tracks showcasing glorious layers of vocal harmonies and a fascinating variety of sonic textures.

Tell Somebody is then beautifully atmospheric, with organ-like synths and gorgeous echoey vocals reverberating beautifully around the space. Shoot Me Down has a hip-hop style sample at the start and then gracefully shifts into this incredible explosion of gospel vocals at the end. Holy Moly is then one of my favourite songs of the whole year, with its fierce guitars and euphoric vocal harmonies.

I could go on and on about the magic of this record, but I think this is one of those albums you simply must hear if you haven’t already. Life-affirming and year-defining, it’s only personal sentiment and my love for this next record that has stopped Heavy Heavy from being named my 2023 Album of the Year.

Best tracks: Holy Moly, I Saw, Tell Somebody

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1. Lies by LIES

A day later than planned, but finally here we are then!

If you’ve been following this blog, the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast or my music writing in general this year, then this self-titled debut from American Football side project, LIES, being named my 2023 Album of the Year should come as no surprise. A record that was my frontrunner at the mid-year mark, ultimately no record has been able to blow me away in the same manner as this symphonic and frequently dazzling opus from cousins Mike and Nate Kinsella.

As a big American Football and Owen fan, when I saw Mike Kinsella had a new project with his cousin and bandmate Nate, I was instantly intrigued. The amazing string of singles released towards the end of 2022 - Blemishes, Echoes, Corbeau, Summer Somewhere and Camera Chimera - only heightened that intrigue further. So much so that in the January episode of the 5-9 Album of the Month podcast, I said this was the album I was most looking forward to hearing this year. So even with a load of hype and anticipation, this record still managed to deliver and exceed my lofty expectations.

Beginning life as fourth album sessions for the next American Football record, when it became clear these songs were their own thing, the Kinsellas decided to further expand their sonic boundaries. As a result, you get an album which is the sound of these two maestros just playing about the studio, going on all these ambitious sonic adventures and taking their songcraft into weird and wonderful new directions along the way. Because of this, it ends up being a record that has everything I want from an album in 2023 - there’s heart, there’s eclecticism and there’s a daring nature to push their sound to places it’s never been before now. Beyond that, it’s just spellbinding from start to finish.

Opener Blemishes is a stunning, upbeat love song about unconditional adoration for someone despite their flaws, that eventually transcends into this amazing swirl of strings. It’s not the only orchestral moment on the record, as Echoes boasts brass horns whilst Knife begins super quiet with distorted vocals and harps, before then erupting into an ominous swell of pianos, strings and Mike’s anguished cries. Similarly No Shame, which is one of my favourites on the whole album, starts out as this gorgeous softly spoken piece, then in the final two minutes transforms into this glorious wave of cinematic strings that lifts you into another dimension. It all really is like a carefully constructed symphony at times and there’s almost no words to describe the feeling I get when I listen to these songs.

But it wouldn’t be a Mike Kinsella record without some visually descriptive lyricism and I’m pleased to say this album has that too. On Resurrection, one of the opening lines is “I bit my tongue until it bled, blood in the sink, blood in the bed - if memory serves even the wedding dress was red.” It’s a striking thought and that dark, emotional imagery being painted is classic Mike Kinsella at his best. After that line, the song then instantly crashes into this combination of playful guitars, pounding drums and sparkling synths, which is just wonderfully hypnotic.

The cousins have said Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails were two of the biggest influences on this project and Camera Chimera is the song where you can really hear that influence coming through. Filled with atmospheric synths and guitar textures reminiscent of The Cure, it ended up one of my favourite songs of 2022 and a year later, I love it just as much.

Whilst I appreciate this album won’t be for everyone and some will find it overindulgent, as someone who adores Mike Kinsella’s music and just loves the experimental direction him and Nate took with one, it ultimately became the album I personally connected with the most this year. It is simply one of my favourite artists, delivering an album that sounds like it was made specifically for me with what it offers.

With the emotional heart of an American Football record and the cousins Kinsella just pushing their sound into these majestic realms that take my breath away every time I listen to them, it’s without a doubt my Album of the Year for 2023.

Best tracks: Blemishes, Resurrection, No Shame…and the rest!

Listen here

Thanks so much for following the countdown, I hope you enjoyed it – still to come this month, my Top EPs, Songs and Live Shows of the Year!