#I think id like to do so but ill have to think some more on how i would like to do this... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wickjump · 1 day ago

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(oh wow, ok, no anon, uhhhh 'nervous sweating)

I keep seeing lil snippet of writings you do but like, where do I read em? Or are they, like, just for you fics. Which us cool too but you have really good interpretations of sum my favorite guys and I think your fics would be neat to read 👉👈

oh hahahaaaah. yeah uh the reason theyre all snippets is because i have one weakness: finishing things

thats right folks. literally eveyrhting i make that isnt currently posted on my ao3 (aka one singular terrible old awful bad fic) is unfinished. painfully so, even. surprise

im being so honest id post so much more writing if i ever actually finished any of it. i ache to show yall my writing because it sucks when you make something and cant go "hey look what i just did" to everyone around you. unfortunately a collection of scrambled sentences isnt much to post about and the things ive already posted about are still unfinished to this day sadly. if you want to post about something you have to, like, actually do it?? which is SO sick and twisted. but whagever

anyway I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS ASK??? like this made me smile when i first got it and proceeded to forget to answer because i was really busy,,, made me smile seeing it again too :3 ill try to get some snippets out at least for you in the near future !! i am glad you like my brain thoughts. very appreciate

currently the only fics of mine close to completion are: cross gets horror film'd, cheesy kross thing, and cross gets put in the wringer again sorry. none of the cool ones just self indulgence three times in a row :( ill finish better writing stuff one day i promsie... maybe...

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dennisboobs · 1 month ago

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:) i certainly have no issue dressing in drag :)

^guy who has no issue dressing in drag btw

glenn said that dennis' drag name is victoria von hemen btw

(Source)

#glenn howerton #guy who should get to dress in drag #im just. ill never be over the fact that glenn wrote Two episodes in season 3 that involve dennis doing drag #i know he doesn't really want to write for the show but there's something so special abt how early sunny was an actor's sandbox #esp hearing glenn talk abt how den is like. an outlet for him and a way to play around with shit he would never do for one reason or anothe #my point being that i think its been a while since he was able to utilize dennis again in that way #but 16 was a definite change. especially with dtamhd it feels like dennis is becoming more glenn again. like he was in the early days #theres a pretty good stretch of the show once it got into the double digits that feels like den was. co-opted.#but like i wonder how it feels to explore sexuality and gender via your character #it must be similar to doing that through fandom and OCs but there's a whole other layer to it here #esp when its not Just being presented as comedic as it was in past seasons. like dennis is Actually queer and this is a normal plot point #its not the punchline like den's femininity often is its literally just part of what makes him able to help mac and dee #id argue we've gotten this in the form of. dennis doing dee's makeup and shit. but #anyway. glenn. now that you have two of your former writing assistants in that writers room i hope you get to do drag again 💀#its been 16 years. show us the new and improved victoria.#i honestly can't imagine pitching something like that to a room of people Without some sort of comedic twist but #man.#ada speaks #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #rcg #i won't ever forget the way he lit up talking abt queer dennis jhksvfjhksvdfgjhkds #love u king...... i hope you get something in s17 that you Certainly Don't Mind

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nabaath-areng · 4 months ago

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I have this one "OC" that does not yet have a name that I've drawn several times for a couple years. I was thinking that if I tried making them in FFXIV that I'd use elezen as a base... but then I remembered what other race have their near exact hairstyle... and now I'm like damn... I played myself...

#idk if ill do anything with them but im saving the design. just in case.#perhaps the ffxiv setting is whats needed to gain an idea of who they are #as of now i havent even figured out their gender like are they male? female? both? its one of those but which? who knows. not me!#i think besides that i knew they were really tall. a magic user. and i was pondering on some italian name #... could work with the 13th i suppose hmmm.#anyway i have more character design ideas than i could ever hope to put to use! send help!!!#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #final fantasy 14 #roegadyn #hellsguard #gpose #ffxiv screenshot #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #i almost tagged edit but these are completely untouched #i tried but then id have to do all to be happy and make them match LMAO #nabaath-areng #my screenshot #i took soooo many screens but i feel like the post is already bloated yells #so these shall suffice. but please DO know that theyre painfully photogenic #and that practically every screenshot turned out super sexy

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emborami · 3 months ago

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Through the years, from popinjay to coxcomb to maccaroni to dandy to dude

#and from dude to gigolo if i have anything to say about it #baby i can the sweet mama to your sad and lonesome #this was so fun to draw my favorite hobby is historical fashion #are they accurate? not answering that. i refuse to draw codpieces #at my heart i am unfortunately a coward #i know i gave dandy kayne a short haircut at first but then i remembered all the mullets ive been seeing and i had to give it a try #i hope it looks like he as having fun throughout the eras <3 #malevolent #kayne malevolent #but anyays like i as saying theres no ay king is appearing regularly in a three piece suit and not bringing that energy to #every other century #and i almost drew him in like plate armor but if he’s like snapping his fingers and ppl explode bro is not gonna get a suit of armor #that was wishful thinking on my part i remedied it he dresses like a bourgeoise i have to accept it #if i did this with the yellow king it would be like 5 inages of the same dude copied and pasted #i started giving the yellow king a pennanular brooch and even then i as like whoah thats kinda lavish for john #i dunno maybe i should fuck around with his robes and try some stuff out #hmmmmmmm i do like jewelry……….#new project: project runway but with john doe #and then eventually ill help poor arthur out #tho honestly i think he really probably dos have an eye for quality clothing i think he’s probably respectably fashionable but he #cares more abt quality #id love to put my boy in a fishermans sweater tho i feel like he needs something warm and sturdy on his journeys <3

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puppppppppy · 3 months ago

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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY

#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK #ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK #my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3 #so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first #which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go #but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it #from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN #about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change #the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even #and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop #to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel #and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember #reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not #the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often #misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption #puppy plays isat #in stars and time #isat #playthru #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 3 spoilers #change god #WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK

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cent-scratchnsniff · 2 months ago

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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #lobcorp spoilers #i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe #tiphereth #tiphereth lobcorp #chesed #chesed lobcorp #do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach #netzach lobcorp #ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both #just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip #talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that #just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to #where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac #parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin #the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown #they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as #chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to #singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts #malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an #iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro #more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug

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omgcatboi · 8 months ago

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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍‍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol #anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn #plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH #idc* oops #not retyping all that #and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter #let me be kinky in peace #hanzo #hanzo art #hanzo shimada #hanzo fanart #overwatch fanart #watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared #to post out my uaual tags #anyways #artists on tumblr #trans artist #overwatch #my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow #when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more #but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls #im just. pretty face to look at #and thats all ill ever be or amount to #bi polar ramblings ig ig ig

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ch1zzie · 8 months ago

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Forgot to post this here butttt

Working on a welcome home animation and mighttttt take me a while

#the idea is just wally getting the barnaby plush and thats kinda it #i did plan this before when i ordered the wally plush (sep 8 2023) but didnt have the motivation and stuff for it #its inspired by the image of wally peaking out of homes side window with the text below “there he is!” not sure if its wally saying it #either wally noticed someone or someone noticed him but anyway #i saw that image and was thinking to make an animation of it instead of the “there he is!” text its going to say “he's here.”#i also realized i might need to voice that only line or even make sounds for the background😭#i already was close to finishing background 2 (where eddie will be seen walking to wallys house) but my tablet died #grrrrrr #also unrelated but i wrote in my book todayyy (i never write at all) but hey its kinda fun to write my ideas huahahahaah #i plan on doing some research on welcome home and write it down (maybe even some theories hmm??) also doing research on the characters #just to try to get to know them more (cuz i have been crazy for them for AGES and still feel like i haven't done enough)#oh yeah CALL ME CRAZYYY butttt since the irl world sucks i plan on making little writings like im IN welcome home just because idk #more explaining and better ones on my tiktok vid description (user in my bio)#also i feel like things might be getting better for me cuz wowie i never thought id be animating again #but now all this motivation...so many ideas appearing...need to focus on one at a time...darn #HEY! 12 days till a break from the evil cell of educational purposes??? (school) FINALLY PURE HEAVEN I CAN BE FREE WITHOUT SUFFERING #welcome home #partycoffin #wally darling #welcome home arg #welcome home fanart #welcome home wally #7 backgrounds left to do...then ill have to animate...oh evilllll so evillll

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xxplastic-cubexx · 29 days ago

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dumbass supreme says 'yeah ill play a quick game of rivals before lunch why not' and gets mvp more at 1

#marvel rivals #snap chats #closing the game so i can live off the high of me thinking im actually good at this game ☝️#please ignore the losing streak i was on last night I WAS SO PISSED LIKE PLEAAASSEE IM NOT /THAT/ BAD AM I #I WAS LIKE 'ok ill just play until i win that should be like a game or two' AND THEN. i just never won.. i had to stop to finish my work...#NO CAUSE i was just doing some practice stuff and being more comfortable with magneto's kit #note: please use the enhanced sword when wanda's on your team i promise. she wasnt on my team this game but just in general #i always forget i have it 💀 BUT ITS DPS IS GREAT FOR ERIK no wonder that shit has a thirty second cool down #in any case. i was sufficiently locked in so i guess thats why i was hitting shots for once 💀#no chat you know what my ultimate high is playing this game. ult canceling vaJELVKAJERL #SPECIFICALLY IRON MAN'S like you just look at him and throw up a barrier .... hello .... im a master at this from ow ok. ... you are nothin #now if only erik said cutesy one liners when blocking an ult then my life would really be complete #for the first time i was caught in a magneto duel today. there can only be one you chucklefuck im bullying you #i have no idea how magneto is meta wise The Game Just Came Out but idc i will give him a menacing reputation #its only right !!!!! its lore accurate. me in the big Fuck You red and purple outfit I NEVER SEE OTHER PEOPLE WITH THE SKIN. BTW.#its worth it idc. ... . id buy it again really ..... its such a good skin .......#love how when i first saw it i was like 'eh idk' but now i wanna eat it and make out sloppy with it #IT JUST LOOKS GREAT IN MOTION LIKE OKKKK i woudlnt have minded a simple classic look either tho ...#... but ill take the emperor vibes ... theyre cool ...#ok bye ima actually eat now

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thedrotter · 1 month ago

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average minecraft gameplay of elementary school kids (+the og doodle of it I did like. months ago)

#re:kinder #fanart #yuuichi mizuoka #shunsuke takano #my art #i must inmediately make clear to you that i believe shunsuke would absolutely loot villages in minecraft like. TOTALLY #he has that sillyness he would see like. an oven and steal it he would break the wood of houses for the sake of it #the thing that distinguishes him and yuu from it is that yuu just has to commit arson and just has to put the villagers on fire #i think the first thing yuu would do the second he enters a village is to inmediately go kill the iron golem #the iron gained from it is a bonus its more so to see the chaos that ensues without the protection of a golem #and that would be if the gamemode was survival but im gonna be so real i dont see yuu being a survival player #im 100% believer that he would be a creative player through and through #destroying villages would be sillier just place a ton of dynamite and see it go kaboom #i think i should have made shunsuke a little less confused over going to a village in this he has chaos in his heart #thing is ive been working on this very on and off for a while so i. i forgor my headcanons briefly turn brain off just . confusion💔#on that note i will be free soon i will be free to draw a lot this semester is finally ending soon oh my god😭#this semester uni has been a lot and fibro has been kickin me for no reason but ILL BE FREE🔥🔥SOON🔥🔥#id like to let you know that to make this piece i had to pray the dios te salve maria prayer thrice #my computer finds ways to get worst and that prayer is the most efficient way for it to let me do basic tasks it sounds insane but its fr😭#it doesnt like it if i pray anything else for some reason it just really seems to like this prayer #anyway ive had a whole discussion on how the rekinder cast would play minecraft but. theres a 30 tag limit #so💔 we gon save that for another day when im having a good day in terms of my fibromyalgia i need to lay down SJWIDNAKD😭😭#i should do the dios te salve maria prayer when i do my finals atp god save my cells

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skunkes · 7 months ago

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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

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artificer-real · 18 days ago

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and here come the negative emotions. right on cue...

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mellotronmkll · 3 months ago

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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared

#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary #its like i dont know where to start #i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting #like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start #i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA #i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk #i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard #rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have #and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know #it feels so so daunting #even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id #its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do #because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating #technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like #know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are #that i just . cannnnnt #AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow #ive had such a horrible night honestly #i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh #i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it #god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH #that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt #because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs #by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late #AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but #i am frustrated!!!!

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sydmarch · 1 month ago

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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy

#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing #& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after #dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are #worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding #variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you #like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill #the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of #shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think #are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that #& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like #what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i #cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try #& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific #parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list #like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it #doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me #but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like #I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like #a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it #be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of #just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet #anyways #texticles

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qoldenskies · 2 months ago

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DUDE THIS CW CHAPTER IS FUCKING ME IN THE ASS RN WHY IS THERE NOTHING ON MY OUTLINE .... its okay the adhd pulled me elsewhere and i pruned the www outline so things are more compact/coherent (im excited). ANYWAYS SORRY IF THIS NEXT UPDATE IS SLOW TO COME OUT HRKKK

#personal #47 chapters instead of 52 now!#mostly because povs are mikey and donnie like exclusively #but there are three exceptions for raph april and leo. “interludes”#and theyre chapters that i want to be long and full of plot so i condensed some stuff #actually now that i think of it i could put a really important scene at the end of april's interlude....#id just have to cut out a mikey chapter in the middle :(#might be a good thing actually. it reveals something i could choose to keep a mystery instead #MIGHT BE 46 INSTEAD YALL SORRY #im excited for where we went wrong have i mentioned it yet .....#ill probably go for a 4k per chapter minimum but they could get a lot longer than that i feel #NOT excited to write the first chapter though. like donnie and leo's introductions are really funny and stupid but pretty much recapping-#-canon events with small differences is a little bluh #thats why the plot takes a HARD turn after act 1 ngl... youll see #doing more with shredder as a threat #EDIT ITS 44

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moodr1ng · 7 months ago

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i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..

#97 #i guess if it happened every single day or something i would probably feel more confident identifying it as like....#idk some type of disability or at least something worth integrating into my definition of my general health #and ensuing relationship to my body to the medical system etc etc #but bc it only happens when i walk briskly for a bit and i dont even go out for a walk every day it doesnt feel worth mentioning #anyway ive had this since 2019 or 2018 lol but the first round of attempted diagnosing i gave up early #and for a few years i just ignored it which is easier when i dont get out a lot anyway #but im currently in the process of attempting to figure out what it is again..#by september ill know if its compartment syndrome which has been brought up but is apparently unlikely #thats the last exam were doing so. if its not that then ngl idk what the next options are #bc this was everything my doctor could think of to explain it #another thing abt it not being diagnosed and not clearly being a disability is i dont dare ask for a seat in public when i need one lol #which has been an issue a few times where every seat is taken but i REALLY need to sit to stop the pain #if i could say 'excuse me i have (x thing) i really need a seat' id maybe dare to ask #but i dont manage to just be like 'hey could i get a seat my legs hurt' lol

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