#I think he only has them in the first scene?

[fireladyofink]

Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..

Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.

2 is 100% Andlàtkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.

Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.

4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.

5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.

6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.

7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.

8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"

9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.

10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, Ninjagaësia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.

11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, Ninjagaësia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.

12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.

13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of Andlàtkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.

14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. 🧡

15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in Andlàtkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..

16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished Andlàtkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! Zeradelsída is still just a bunch of loose plot points..

17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read Andlàtkyn too!

18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.

19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.

20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in Andlàtkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! Andlàtkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.

21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.

22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?

23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.

24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.

25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.

26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for Zeradelsída which still has yet to be written, did it for that Ninjagaësia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.

27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.

28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of Andlàtkyn for the Apple Twins.

29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.

30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at Andlàtkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.

31 Again, Andlàtkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.

32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.

33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.

34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was Andlàtkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and Ninjagaësia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.

35 I don't have anything, oof.

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[ratatattouille]

not only do I hate what arcane season 2 did with its female characters, I REALLY HATE what it did with its black characters. ESPECIALLY ekko. I do not think it is a coincidence that ekko’s focused, revolutionary, independent, no-bullshit character being sacrificed on the altar of timebomb (by both fandom AND the show) is a coincidence. “but his scene in the alternate universe where jinx was alright helped him realize how much of a victim jinx was as well and that her problems weren’t really her at all but the evil hex gem which is now a motif for greed or something.” I know I’ve previously said that I love how the idea of jinx becoming a revolutionary symbol outside of her will or control, but other critics have pointed out how unjustified and unearned that is narratively (I mean any sense of government protocol or realism is thrown out the window in season 2), but ekko already realized jinx was also a victim of a horrible system on the bridge before she blew herself up in season 1. not only that, but the same way caitlyn takes more unjustified precedence in vi’s life than jinx, is the same way jinx takes more unjustified precedence in ekko’s life than the firelights. if anything, ekko’s nuanced relationship with jinx was butchered by that forced romance of “what could have been.” ekko, by this point, is not simply just afraid of jinx. he fucking hates her. she has killed so many of his loved ones. even ruined his life by messing up with the mission in the first place. vi was the only one who could’ve brought those two together (and even that would be a tall order) because both of them looked up to her, and she’s nowhere to be seen in either timelines where those two interact. why is jinx’s name the one on the paper he burns instead of (for example) heimerdinger’s? all one can do with this season is speculate. endless fucking speculation.

[archangeldyke-all]

hello sweet girl!! how was your day? 🫶🏽

i hope you know that you’re so deeply loved and appreciated by us all!! <33

how would you feel about writing more highschool sevika and reader!! i absolutely love them! maybe the two of them get roped into babysitting the neighbors kid or something and at first sevika is pissed because she doesn’t wanna spend her friday night changing diapers when she could be making out and causing mischief with her gf hehe!

But as the night goes on, she actually has so much fun and realizes how much she loves kids! And watching reader be so good with kids makes Sevika realize that this is exactly what she wants in the future. To be moms and raise kids with reader together. To have a family together! A sweet and sappy moment when Sevika falls in love even deeper with reader 🥹

oh my god i LOVE THIS AHHHHHHHHH

men and minors dni

"remind me again why we're doing this?" sevika whines.

"because we're broke and we need money for weed." you huff. this is the sixth time she's asked since you started your walk over.

your neighbor caught you and sevika goofing off in the front yard the other day, and she practically begged you for help watching her kids so she could go on a date. when she mentioned what she was willing to pay for just eight hours of work, you elbowed sevika to keep her from saying no, and happily accepted.

which is how you're here. "c'mon, sev, it could be fun."

"i don't see what could possibly be fun about changing diapers our entire saturday night."

"there's only one baby. the other two are three and six. we'll get to play with 'em!"

"play what? i don't think they know how to play poker, babe."

you snort and kiss sevika's cheek. "sevika. their bedtime is eight. their mom won't be home 'til midnight. it's four hours of dealing with the kids, then we can make out on the couch for the rest of the night. she's even leavin' us money for pizza."

sevika huffs and grumbles the rest of the walk. she's quiet as ms. haili leaves you instructions. and she's weirdly standoff-ish with the kids for the first thirty or so minutes.

you're all in the living room, the kids coloring and sevika glaring at them, when a horrible smell fills the room.

"uh-oh baby. looks like you made a poopy." you giggle as you scoop up the baby from it's play pen. "i'll change 'im. be right back."

"don't leave me!" sevika calls. you snort.

"you'll live."

when you come back to the living room, you're shocked to find sevika laying on her belly, coloring along with the two oldest kids.

"what's your favorite color, sevi?" the six year old asks. sevika shrugs.

"purple's cool. what about you?"

"i like purple too! and red. and also green."

"nice."

you lean against the wall and watch the scene, not wanting to embarrass your girlfriend.

"what about you, pipsqueak? what's your favorite color?" sevika asks, nudging the three year old.

"mmm... blue!" the boy declares. sevika nods.

"blue's pretty."

"like the sky!" he says, nodding with excitement. sevika giggles.

"yeah, like the--" she cuts herself off when she catches sight of you, a blush creeping up her cheeks. you grin at her.

throughout the night, sevika grows more and more comfortable with the kids.

during your game of tag, sevika lets the kids cling onto her as she runs around the yard.

during dinner, sevika takes great care of making sure the baby eats all her food, wiping her chin after each messy bite she takes.

at bathtime, sevika lets the kids pile bubbles up on her head, laughing along with them as they make various hairdos and hats for her out of bubbles.

by the time the kids are asleep, sevika's grinning like she's high.

"you want sausage on your half?" you ask as you look down at the pizza menu. sevika's curled up on the couch beside you. she doesn't respond. "sev?" you ask, looking up at her.

sevika blinks at you dreamily. "do you want kids?" she asks.

you choke on your own spit. "what!?" you scream. "we're still in high school!"

sevika giggles. "not now, dumbass. just... someday... would you ever want to have kids with me?" she asks.

you blink at your girlfriend, a small smile on your lips.

you've never really considered kids before --fuck you're still a kid-- but there's one thing that you've known for years now: you're gonna spend the rest of your life with sevika.

"with you, sure." you say. "how many do you want?"

sevika grins and tackles you to the couch. you burst into giggles. "like four? five?" she asks. you snort.

"and who's delivering all these babies!?"

sevika shrugs. "you. or me. or we'll just adopt, y'know?"

something warm inside you flutters, and you blink dreamily up at your best friend. "you're a sap." you whisper. sevika giggles.

"'s your fault. you're cute with a kiddo on your hip."

you pull her down for a kiss, humming against her lips. "we got a long way to go before we have any rugrats, y'know."

"i know. gotta marry you first." sevika says with a smile. you snort.

"i was thinking more like graduating high school and finding a place to live, but sure, you gotta marry me first too." you giggle.

"whatever. i know it'll be a while. but... it's exciting, isn't it?" she whispers. you smile.

"exciting?"

"to have something so nice to look forward to." she explains.

your heart melts and you pull sevika in for one more kiss. "so exciting. so... you gonna join me next weekend to watch mr. tannis' kids?" you ask.

sevika grins. "i guess so."

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@nanajustnana-a @helaenabugmom

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

[bronx-bomber87]

Well hello there lovely Fandom :) This has to be one of the best of eps of season so far. Tied with last week for sure. The writers came to play this season holy hell. Also a little birdie (my friend ha) told me the person who wrote 2x11 wrote this one. SOOO of course it's incredible. Start to finish. Once again not just the Chenford stuff either. (That was insanely good obviously. Losing my mind over it.)

I just love that they've tapped back into the show as a whole again. I mean we would have some decent B and C storylines along with our ship last couple years. But this season? Phew they are killing the game. Each week tops the last or ties it. I can see why Eric loves this season so much. Why he's called it his fav so far. It's been fantastic. I'm with him. Let us dive into the goldmine that is this episode.

7x08 Wildfire

We start off with another Genny appearance. I love this sfm. Wasn't sure when we'd get to see her again. Definitely was not expecting a couple episodes after 7x06. This season continues to surprise and delight me in the best way. Her reply about the GPS cracks me up. I've been in traffic so bad the GPS gave up on me too LOL Yay Uncle Tim to the rescue. This was such a nice start to the ep for Tim.

This is the season that continues to give and give. More of Tim's house AND an Uncle Tim scene? *swoon* I love that the first thing they ask about is where the good boy is. We all love him and need more of him in all of our lives. Kojo is at daycare hehe Considering how this episode goes down I'm grateful for it.

They try to pull one over on him but it ain't working. Not even a little bit. Lmao I adore how he pops back in to catch them instantly disobeying. The best part is they say 'Yes sir.' when they're caught. The love and respect is evident. It's so lovely. Seeing him in Uncle Tim mode is so cute I can't stand it. Little gem I didn't knew I needed. Well done writers.

I love Lucy bee-lining for Tim to let him know about the looting in his neighborhood. The best part is her immediately jumping in his car to get to his nephews. My heart. Such a short but impactful scene. Does my shipper heart good to see it. Chips down they're always there for each other. That's never changed despite all the messy relationship issues. A constant for them we all love to see.

So many things to love about this next portion. I wasn't able to get it all in. But the way they enter the house together on guard. As you all know I love watching them in the field. It is ship crack for me. I'll never be over the well oiled machine that is them. It is the ONE thing that never suffered no matter how bad it got between them.

It's their center and it held well. I friggin love the pic. Oh my word. It's from the baseball game in 5x11. The little things are the best. I love the small details. Tim is so damn sassy 'Gently.' Can't say I didn't think the same when they were man handling his TV. lol

Then the ship crack really kicks in. Fighting the stealing duo together. gimme gimme. Poetry in motion as always. Love to see it. The funniest part is his nephew's reappearance. Cracks me up they were playing the entire time. LOL Of course Genny shows up to see it all. Little bit of levity amongst a sea of intensity during this ep. Also relief the boys will be safe and headed home with her after this.

Oh my word, them talking about his nephews. Be still my damn heart. I love that she had a relationship with them. Not only that she coached them as well. Her joke about the curveball making Tim's smile even wider. Could he be more in love with her? *sad sigh* This is why the breakup destroyed her. Stuff like this. No doubt she thought they were getting married and we're forever. She had relationships with his sister and her kids. Legit ones to the point they miss and ask about her.

Tim was her one and done. The first time she fell in love and thought it was going to be her future. He was going to be her future. Oh Timothy, you really stepped in it when you let her go. My goodness. I love getting peaks into their life outside the station when they were together. This was a fantastic addition to that. The details in this one making me insanely giddy. Too bad we don't get to hear what he told them but hot damn I enjoyed this little tidbit moment.

The immense fire interrupts their lovely moment. They're trapped and have to radio in as such. Grey is one giant ball of panic even thought he's trying to hide it. Despite being his officers those are his friends in real danger. Not only that he is stuck at a command post hoping against hope they make it out. Eric killing me with his expressions once again.

The deep breath he takes before formulating a plan is everything. Suggests they leave the shop ASAP. Just a tinder box waiting to happen. When he said to use a safety blanket I was percolating with excitement. That meant tight quarters and goodness to come. I could feel it. I was legit vibrating this morning as I watched this go down. Tim not giving Lucy a ton of relief saying he saw it on youtube once lol

I absolutely love the role reversal here. Tim is the rambling one. Going on and on. Lucy has to be the one get him to focus. He’s spewing facts that mean nothing to her in this moment. She just needs to know they’re going to be ok. That this is going to work and they're not going to die in this fire.

First time we see Tim come undone and not have the cooler head between them. Lucy has to be the one to get him to focus and give her a straight yes or no answer. Her anxiety can't take the long winded reply. I love her face and hand she puts up letting him know as such. She needs his reassurance not his facts.

This is the meat and potatoes of this scene right here. The sass coming from this man in this scene lmao I love him sfm. 'What, You got somewhere to be?' Oh my lord. These two. Lucy cuts him to the quick. Trying to stop this near death-love confession of his. Tim continuing the sass train saying he could be saying something hateful. LOL Doubtful my love very very doubtful. You forget she knows you just as well as you do her. Lucy continues to try and water down his confession by cutting him off. Saying she knows what he's going to say.

That he's still in love with her. Tim's reply is primo. ‘The arrogance.' This made me cackle. My god this is not the time to be fighting her on this Timothy. Also she’s not wrong babe.... He gives in and says she's not wrong. Of course he still loves her. *heart clutch* Here's what I love the most about him saying this. It's fact that he couldn’t die or possibly let her leave this earth without letting her know he’s still in love with her. That he loves her. That fact still hasn't changed for him. I’m sure he’s worked it out in therapy and lives with the guilt of it daily. Her wondering if he still loved her. If he truly loved her like she loved him.

I remember thinking about that in post 6x06. And it honestly killed me the thought of it. When he broke it off how she must've felt like he didn't love her anymore. Or fell out of love. Or never even cared at all with how he tossed them away. When it was the farthest thing from the truth. Whether she realizes it or not she needed to hear this from him. To hear him say he still loved her. It’ll mean more post this moment than anything else. I think this healed a small part of her. Whether she wanted to hear it or not. I think she sensed it in 6x09 with their hug. With the way he clung to her and told he he wasn't ok till that hug. But this is verbal confirmation for her. He loves her.

Her anger is still shining through when Tim asks if she still loves him? As it should. He DEEPLY wounded her. Also only they could have a near death-love confession and be fighting through the entire thing LOL I love them sfm fandom. I truly do. It's insane how much I do. ‘You are infuriating.’ Doesn't crack or let it slip she loves him back still. Now her non reply truly is her answer. Tim can see that and it's why he says 'So that's a yes?' He knows her. But she is fighting him every step of the way.

Lucy is not going to be an easy nut to crack. Nor should she be. He straight up scarred her for life with that breakup. The carelessness of it. Fuck, it damaged me for sure. This show and this ship are my happy place. I was going through a rough and painful transition in life when it occurred. So it hit me real hard when it happened. My happy place was suddenly not so happy anymore. I struggled with it a lot. Can only imagine how Lucy felt. She has a rock hard exterior slash wall with him. Even facing death she couldn’t verbalize she’s still in love with him too. It risks too much for her. He shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Tim is slowly picking up the many shards but its going to take time. He is going to have to keep chipping away at her wall. Because the scars he left on her heart run very deep. It’s going to take him continuing to try and keep that convo going in order to get her to a good place. A place where she can unleash her pent up anger toward him. To be able to receive his deepest amends to get them on the road to recovery. Loved his 'I know!' He knows he's infuriating. Doesn't fight her and I love the self awareness of his line. The way he cradles her head at the end as they come together. I CANNOT everyone. The tender protection of this has me reeling.

The banter doesn't skip a beat when they emerge. Tim bragging they would make it. Lucy of course doesn't let him get away with it. Because she is wifey and that won't stand. Heh. Gah the way he helps her up. It's so tender and sweet. Once again the little things I adore so very much. Also lets note the look he gives when he radios in 'Code Four.' The man is a glass house of transparency for his feelings. No way she doesn't know he is gone for her even minus the confession.

THIS HUG. OMFG. Tim doesn't hesitate to pull her in. It's the way he holds her holy cow. The moment they have a second to breathe she's in his arms. He needs to grab her and make sure she's really next to him. To ground himself. They legit just survived a near death experience together. The way she falls into him. *happy sigh* Wraps one arm around his back and has her other hand placed intimately on his stomach. I may faint. The wide shot from behind is beautifully done. Showing them what they just made it through together.

It's the way he shuts his eyes and sways with her on the return shot that gets me. Lucy reaching up to touch his stomach once again. Grounding herself through touching him as well. Her eyes filling with tears as she views the destruction they got through. It's such a beautiful moment. I love their hugs SO much. They always convey so much love and emotion in them. Was hoping for a new one this year. Wish granted. The giving season continues to give. This will be my new header for sure. When I find the right gif.

I feel like moments like this I can consider as 'Little doses' He’s trying so hard everyone. He really is. Since s7 started the man has done everything he can while respecting her bounds. Wants to continually show up for her in whatever capacity she'll accept him in. To rebuild her trust in him. Now she’s not there yet and rightfully so. But he’s chipping away slowly with moments like this. This is an amazing moment step forward for them.

Lucy reaches out first in the hospital. Talking about priorities and them being crystallized. Tim looking at her with massive heart eyes when he says his were clear. She is his #1 priority. That has never changed. Even during the breakup she was. Because he was doing it in his mind at the time to protect her. So his priorities have been clear for awhile. But even more so post-therapy. That clarity was sharpened into focus ten fold for him. She is it. It just has taken on a new life and context for him post-therapy.

Lucy does not see what he is throwing down unfortunately. That or she's avoiding reading into what he's saying. I can't decide. That's the beauty of doing my in-depth ones in the summer. Because I'll have the whole season in hand to make a better analysis of that. What I can tell you was Tim wanted to have the convo again. Now his panic is at 100 when she says she needs to move forward. It's pouring out of his eyes the panic of what that means. Striking some terror into his soul. Him worrying she means personally.

Luckily Lucy’s talking about her career instead. Now he is a little dejected still but not nearly as panicked. Agreeing once again just like in 7x06 and letting go of the convo he wants to have....Oh my boy. You’re gonna have to make it happen honey. She is too gun-shy after what you did. You’re gonna have to really really make this happen. Oooh man they’re really gonna make us work for this reconciliation and I’m here for it. Holy hell this season is good. The writers brought it this year I have to say.

Now I know some want a reconciliation already. I get it. Really I do. I miss them being together too. My heart aches and longs for it. BUT they need to really flesh this out. I don't see it as being dragged out so much as worked out. If they don't and they got back together right now people would complain. Saying Tim didn't do the work or work out his shit or take accountability. (Which is he BTW thank you writers for last week) Or that Lucy's feelings are being ignored and she's easily letting him back in. This delay is showing neither of those things are true. Lucy is protecting her feelings and heart still. Tim is really going to have to continually show up for her. They say an apology is useless unless there is changed behavior. He's gotta keep showing her he's changed.

His actions will speak louder than anything. This is going to take time. I keep saying that because it's true. Tim is going to need to continue to put in the work. That way she can get to a place where her feelings are expressed and acknowledged. Where she can truly let him have it and they can move forward. Have that adult convo she was so wrongfully denied in 6x07. When the man was nowhere near ready. He is now. Thing is she isn't ready yet. That's ok. I like them slowing it down to explore them getting fixed in other ways before that convo. Also that it isn't going to be on easy on Tim. You know I love my boy but he's going to have to EARN her back ten times over. It needs to be hard. Now her going for Sergeant? I’m down with.

To quote the legend Alexis Rose. 'Love that journey for you.' This will give her career clarity. I want that so badly for her. Especially if it gets her out of his chain of command. Fixes that issue instantly. Also the smiles happening based on that were so sweet. Tim, literally laying it down, they could be together if she wanted, should she make Sergeant. She smiles with her reply. *screams into pillow* The throw back to 2x02 made me dizzy with happiness. How beautifully full circle would it be for him to help her make Sergeant? To help her study? (loving this idea btw.). The flirty vibes in this scene made me squee. Their base banter is still alive and well. Lucy is flirting right back everyone. This is an excellent sign. Saying they could get a 'Head start early.' Flirty af back at him.

Dumbass Seth comes in and incriminates himself like the idiot he is… Idk what he was thinking saying this in front of not only Lucy but Tim? You little fool. He warned you not to put her in jeopardy. Said you'd regret if you did. My god I fanned myself at his reply to Seth. The feral like stare along with his reply? Hot damn. Get me some ice water. Tim is coming for you dude. Locked and loaded. He told you he would kill you if you put her in harms way. You’re a dead man Ridley. Officially marked my son.

His panic at being caught in his lie is so painfully evident. Trying to cover it up with 'checking in.' on Lucy. Put the Fear of God into them my ass. You couldn't scare a butterfly bro. The knowing shared looks are everything. You just started your countdown clock out of the FTO Seth. They're gonna work together prove what you did. Scorched Earth is coming your way whether you like it or not.

Phew. Holy moly what a good episode. It was incredibly good. End to end fantastic. That seems to be the theme this year. I'm about it. Bummed we have one mini break but after this ep we might need the slight decompression lol

Thank you as always to the amazing people who like, comment (these makes me so happy,) and reblog these. It means more than you can ever know. You are the real MVP's. I'll see you all in a couple weeks for 7x09. It'll be the halfway point which is unreal. Stay excellent my lovely readers.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Love me some Wopez early in this ep very cute. They are controlled chaos haha Poor Wes stuck with all the kids lol

'Wealthy glamorous widow.' Angela Lopez you are a Queen and I adore you.

Angela's serious talk with Nyla was really good. She didn't listen sadly (at first) but loved her for doing that knowing wouldn't be well received. Nyla is having hard ole time this season. She is starting to crack and it shows.

Good job Nolan with the kid. I like them tapping back into what made him likeable in the first couple of seasons. Also him calling Bailey while she was fighting fires was hilarious. Like I'm a little busy bub lol

Of course Seth hid the note…I mean it got us our moment but still. That is going to come back and end him. Tim and Lucy were affected by this. Grey was SHAKEN by his mishap, Won't just be them coming after him with a vengeance when he is found out.

I love that Nyla listens to Angela at the end and taking care of herself. Too bad it doesn't last long.

Jesus what a way to end the ep poor James......That girl got annihilated no way she makes it.

Glad they posted the viewer discretion advised. My heart goes out to Cali and all they've lost.

[silverheartlugia2000]

Mmm.. just a little what if thought, not necessarily to clash with all the group nesting just a scene that was in my head.

Alfred wakes to a disturbance. Now, in the years he's watched over his family, he's grown used to waking in the night to many different things. He knows this house. He knows his charges. He's developed a sort of sense of where and when he was needed most. Dare say this most recent case his boys are whipped up in is most informative to his own quiet questions in recent years.

However, this particular kind of disturbance he doesn't remember waking to for quite some time.

Alfred slips from his bed and pulls on his night robe and slippers. As much as a stickler he us for proper attire, being this late at night and if it is what he thinks it is, suits would not help.

Padding into the kitchen, he finds the lights already on, and many doors open just a crack. Alfred quietly whips up the traditional special cocoa reserved for instances such as this.

Tray in hand, the elderly man instinctively heads toward the pantry door. There in the corner sat Jason, staring onto the void with vivid green. The boy he brought with him curled in his lap.

Jason's hold is one you would expect used for a child much smaller than the boy was. One that reminds Alfred of himself or Bruce on many nights in years past.

The rest of his family is still investigating that town, the Outlaws as well. It was very much a surprise that instead of staying to reign chaos with the rest, the first thought in Jasons head after hitting his panic button was "GTFO". As well as being rather vague on what sort of 'isolated containment' he found Danny in.

He sits the tray on the floor and eases himself down as well. Pressing against the man's side to wait paitently.

It's strange when old habits tend to linger. Anyone can tell you former Robin's are experts at staying hidden, and each one had preferred spaces in the manor. Jason always had more hiding places than the others given where he came from. Unfortunately, the boy has long outgrown most of them. The pantry, however, has always been one only used when seeking a specific sort of comfort after the worst nightmares.

Alfred waits, sipping his own mug quietly while the other cools. It might do Danny good to have another smoothie while they're here. The poor boy still isn't very responsive beyond a base instinctual level, often acting more like a kitten than a child. And it will still be some time before Alfred is comfortable giving him solid foods again.

It's only a few minutes he thinks, when Jason takes an audible, slow breath and leans into Alfred.

"...what are the odds.." Jason asks, so quietly that it sounds broken, "That the pit drags me to a random patch of ground and tells me to dig. Only to find the same nightmare that's haunted me since I came back happening to someone else.."

Alfred's core aches. Carefully setting his cup down and drawing the boy close. His children are never too old to cry in his arms. Cocoa can always be remade after all.

The Outlaws are investigating a small town in Illinois. They don't get very far into town though when Jason feels a weird tug at his chest. He can't help but follow it to a graveyard and then to a specific grave. It is there he witnesses something he never thought he'd experience from an outsider's perspective. A boy trying to claw his way out of his grave.

[lilislegacy]

Hot take: The original Percy Jackson and the Olympians series is NOT fit for being a TV show. At all. But Heroes of Olympus is.

Why, you may ask? Because although PJO technically takes place over the course of few years, each individual PJO book takes place over a very short period of time—usually only a few days, maybe up to a week (with the exception of parts like Calypso’s island). Nearly all the scenes and events take place back-to-back. But with a TV show, you have to find places to break it up, and there’s a whole week between every single episode. So it’s basically taking us two months to watch an awkwardly fractured series of continuous events that actually take place over the course of a few days. It’s weird. It just feels off. Unless Rick decides to release all the episodes at once (which I don’t think he will), it’s just gonna feel weird asf no matter how much he tries to fix the pacing.

Heroes of Olympus, on the other hand, is MUCH BETTER for a TV show format. It takes place over the course of several months and has a bunch of little time jumps woven throughout. Plus, the characters are older and there are more mature themes, so it caters to older audiences a bit more too. (Don’t even get me started on how Rick is shooting himself in the foot by refusing to acknowledge that most of his fans are older teens and adults now.)

Now, you may be wondering, ‘aren’t the first couple of HOO books only over the course of like a week?’ Yes, which is why they should show the two at the same time. Don’t do one season for each—flash between the two! The first episode opens with the lost trio on the bus and is all about Jason getting to camp, and ends with them finding out some guy named Percy is missing. Then, the next episode opens with Percy barefoot, running in the forest with the wolves, and follows his journey to Camp Jupiter. For the rest of the season, the scenes constantly switch between their two POVs throughout each episode, showing their stories side by side. It would be clear that their timelines are different because it would be freezing winter for Jason’s scenes and summer in Percy’s. Then [input slow motion montage of the Argo II being built over the course of several months] the season finale is when their timelines finally meet up, and the Argo II arrives at Camp Jupiter—just like how Son of Neptune ends.

Then, Mark of Athena has its own season since that takes place over a few weeks. Most events take place on different days, and there’s no exact timeline for most of it. House of Hades and Blood of Olympus probably combine into one season. Percy and Annabeth were only in Tartarus for a few days, so maybe HoH makes up three or four episodes, and Blood of Olympus is five or six. These 3 books work for the same reason that shows like The Walking Dead work. The timeline isn’t always exact, but you know stuff is happening somewhat close together but also not on the same day or even the same week.

And with LONGER episodes. Give me hour long episodes, not freaking 33 minutes like season 1 PJO kept doing.

Anyway, that’s how I would do it. However, for many reasons, most of which I won’t get into, I don’t think there’s much hope for Heroes of Olympus even making it to the screen. But I hope I’m wrong.

[erikiara80]

A sword for Mike

Like others have pointed out, the Castle Byers in this flashback is the one we see in the UD (no microscope when Joyce and Jon look for Will) So, if the UD is really made of different memories, then the Castle Byers with the sword is the one where Will is attacked.

But there's something weird going on there. 1) I don't see any sword when El finds Castle Byers, but inside, it is the Castle Byers with the microscope, so the one with the sword (more about this in a second)

2) The creature is not alone. It's too far from Castle Byers to destroy it, and Will sees a shadow. We still don't know what really happened there!

I also noticed something in S3 that could be connected to that specific moment.

I don't think Max's line "Mike will come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness" is just there to show that Mike actually looks for Will. I think the "crawling back" is connected to going back in time (maybe through memories?) Steve "crawling backwards", Max and El being brought back, El being dragged on the floor in the Rainbow Room, before she sees the past. And when Mike "comes crawling back to Will, begging for forgiveness", he finds him at Castle Byers.

In S3 Max and El are called "a different species" by the boys because, they say, they act on emotions -> Max mentions Mike crawling back in no time -> because "time is funny and emotions can speed it up or slow it down. We're all time travelers..."

Mike's photo in the shot when El mentions emotions and time travel

So, I think the line about him crawling back, finding Will at Castle Byers, and the sword, mean that Mike will save Will

This could be another clue: when El finds Will, before Castle Byers is destroyed, we see everyone's reaction but Mike's. Interesting choice, since he spends the whole season trying to prove that Will is alive.

No reaction, no sword (because he "has it", or, he will have it? He will be there, in the UD. Well, I don't know if he'll really use it, but I think the sword represents Mike)

El gives him his watch, and behind her the words Home and Time

The title of the first episode of S5 is The Crawl, and the first scene is Will singing (imo) in the UD

But Mike must hurry, because in the S3 campaign, which is paralleled to the one in S1 (The vanishing of Will Byers, The case of the missing lifeguard) there's a trap, a distraction, an ending that is not good, not the real ending ("No, let's finish for real"): dying and then living on as heroes in someone's memories. Mike is even mocking Will here, the only time it happens. And we see Will angry for the first time.

And what does he do? He yells: "FORGET IT, Mike!"

Then he goes to Castle Byers and destroys his memories. Castle Byers is destroyed, like it was destroyed in the UD (Mike was too late)

Another parallel between the campaigns: Mike doesn't understand Will in S3 (before Will destroys his memories and senses that the Shadow is back) and he doesn't understand what he's saying about the roll (before Will vanishes)

They need to communicate, let their emotions guide them, through time and space, and they will find each other. Getting to Mike is the key, and he can't be late anymore, or we don't know what happens if Will doesn't remember anything. If there's nothing left and Joyce's boy is gone

[luminasposts]

‼️The Golden Raven Spoiler ‼️

Okay so I finished The Golden Raven and this will be some sort of review because I cannot keep screaming into my pillow until book three comes out.

First of all, Nora I am coming for your game scores, HOW COULD YOU?

Jeremy's past? NOAH? THE BOBCATS?! I'm going to explode.

Also I bet my first born child that it was Bryson who leaked their adress. His injury left him with some kind of stupidity- asshole disorder or something I swear to God. Also I pray for Warren and Mathildas downfall, fuck their homophobic, rasist asses.

I ALSO bet that Ichirou had something to do with the supposed suicide of the three ravens that injured Andrew and Neil. (Because he needs his property and shit)

But I also think that Browning may be onto Ichirous ass and that our favourite exy players will soon be rid of his annoying shadow.

NORA WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BURN THE HOUSE DOWN HUH?????

Also Riko "bleeding out Jeans queerness" I'd have killed him if he wasn't already dead. Also the ravens are such a crumbling mess it's almost sad to watch.

THE ANDREIL CRUMBS WE GOT????? ANDREW QUITTING SMOKING FOR NEILLLL??? HIM ASKING ABOUT GRAYSON? HIM CHOKING THAT ONE RAVEN???? I physically need another book about them I swear to God.

Andrew immediately knowing Jeremy is gay? Chefskiss. Renee's, Kevin's and Cody's implications? CHEFSKISS. Now the only thing left to kiss are Jean and Jeremy themselves (istg Nora make them kiss)

Also the dog. THE DOG. Jabsmth Moreau? I love it. And Jean will love him too over time!

Also the Jerejean crumbs? THE TIMES I SCREAMED AT MY PHONE TO "KISS KISS KISS" IS NOT COUNTABLE ON BOTH OF MY HANDS.

The scene in the hotel room? When Jeremy leaned in to kiss the dog? THE THINGS JEAN SAYS TO JEREMY????? Chefskiss.

Anyways this was my way too long review plus theories at the middle and now I will still have to scream into my pillow but maybe a little quieter now.

(Also if anyone has any fanfics about the foxes during that year, game interview Andreil and all PLEASE TELL ME I NEED IT PHYSICALLY)

[ficsinhistory]

Yes, I saw that scene! I don't blame Maddie, it's a very sweet gesture, I would fall for it. Not only that, judging by the way Tom reacted, he has his share of times he did this to calm Maddie down. Not many, but hey, like father like son. I really want to see more of these two and Maddie in particular.

And yes, Amy would definitely be delighted with grand romantic gestures, she's a hopeless romantic lol

And your thoughts on Amy? Immaculate op. Your mind is incredible!

I also believe Amy's history with the Metal Army is probably old and very personal. I theorize that Ivo stole one of her quills too in an invasion of her home - Little Planet - which would lead her to always approach problems thinking of the worst-case scenario. What would explain why the energy of the metal blow would be both blue and pink.

And yes, I see Amy even with all her empathy, altruism and kindness...being terrible at working in a team. Although I ser her not knowing how to work in a group is more like Amy being incredibly controlling and restrictive, a symptom of her desperately trying to keep the circumstances under control and not getting worse. Something that someone as chaotic and freedom-loving as Sonic wouldn't like.

And I begging this will be the situation.

Amy and Sonic have disagreed several times, from the oldest games to Frontiers. Amy is temperamental and has a strong personality and Sonic hates being ordered around. There will be a lot of friction and both jeopardizing each other's plans before a balance is established.

Perfect opportunity for Sonic to finally feel first-hand what it's like when a loved one throws themselves into danger without thinking twice. And on the other hand, Amy would learn that she hurts the one she wants to protect by being so reckless and daredevil.

Now, about coming from the future is an interesting theory and top tier angst. It's still too early to say anything, so every shot is valid.

My personal opinion is that Amy is actually from the present. The explosion took Ivo to the past, where he made his Metal Army, dominated Litlle Planet, and Amy was sent to live on Earth, a little after Sonic - of course, both would have no idea about each other because I love dramatic irony. She would fight with the metals from then on to prevent further interference.

And what would make her attachment issues come would be - and hear me out now - Amy knowing she won't get out of the mission alive.

My theory is that her chaos powers manifest as visions of possible futures, like a computer that calculates probabilities. However, the trauma messed up this ability of hers, always showing worst-case scenarios and basically what happens when someone functions solely on anxiety. Amy would take it at face value because of trauma and belief in fate (possibly coming from her upbringing on Little Planet).

After all, Chaos energy comes from emotions and hers would be in tatters.

This would culminate in her seeing a possible future where everything is saved but she would die. And Amy... accept it. She would live her life to the fullest based on her belief in unconditional love for all living creatures without ever forming attachments because she doesn't want the future to be harder for her or the people she would get close to.

That's where Sonic and the Wachowskis would come in. They would be a family to her and now she's devastated because she doesn't know how to tell them that there won't be a happy ending for her. That she hasn't had one for a long time. Because, as you mentioned, saving thousands of lives is more important than her and any desires she might have.

But it would be too hard to deny her own feelings. The fact that she doesn't want to die because she finally has love and family and has managed for the first time in years to not think about the imminent death that looms over her.

Tldr -> Amy's conflict is basically this part of Andor.

With Amy coming along, I can't stop thinking about the Amy-Sonic/Tom-Maddie parallels.

You know, the pink and blue scheme, Tom having a similar personality to Sonic and Amy possibly having some similarities to Maddie, Amy and Maddie possibly being two big city girls with Amy being from New York and Maddie from San Francisco while Tom and Sonic are both from Green Hills, the setup of Amy plus 3 Wachowski siblings as well as Maddie and Tom, who canonically have siblings too.

They've been foreshadowing this couple since the second movie, fight me!!

(and Tom x Maddie are the parents and couple ever, I love them!)

(Also, please give Maddie more prominence. She's awesome!)

[quibbs126]

God I wish I had a good caption for this, but I do not. Best I can think of is “I depend on you”, but it also has nothing to do with the blue and yellow drawing at all

But in any case, this is a thing I drew today

I was trying and failing at giving Lux a good alt mode design, and that paired with other things was making me really discouraged, and I sort of ended up just starting to draw this, and then I ended up liking where it was going, which brought up my mood today, so that’s good

As such, I don’t actually have much context for what this scene is

It’s also featuring some more 3D elements in the design, since attempting to draw Transformers One again has put that back in my head, though since I still don’t know exactly how the forearms/hands work, it’s a bit less effective than I would have liked. But I’m slightly less sloppy with the anatomy I think, yay

I’m also now noticing Megatron looks a bit off, but I think part of that is that his arm is obscured by Optimus’, and while it made sense in the sketch, it looks a bit weird now

I also had to slightly change Optimus’ expression from sketch to lineart since the correct placement for his eyebrows would have made it so you don’t see his full expression, so I had to bring them down. It sounds minuscule but his eyebrows higher up did change the expression (it had more shock than the current more quiet concern)

I think I’m realizing that the sketch might have looked better than the final version, at least to me. Oh well

I also may or may not have went ham on lighting and shading, probably to an unnecessary degree. It’s just that this was the only image on the canvas and I really liked it, so I wanted to spiff it up, make it more nice looking

This is a version with significantly less of it, and also a white border because I was considering that before I realized it made it look a bit too sticker like. But I just think the flat colors on their own have merit too

Anyways, like I said, I don’t really have much context for this image, since it was just something I made to make something

Best I can come up with is this interaction happening sometime after Kiloton’s death, with Megatron still not over it and coming to Optimus for comfort. Optimus is a bit shocked at first (not to mention he’s got his own currently unrequited feelings for Megatron that he really doesn’t want to act on right now when Megs is emotionally vulnerable), but he chooses to comfort his friend anyways

Or alternatively, this is Megatron feeling overwhelmed about his whole lie about his infection and the terrible questions the truth brings, and again, going to Optimus to feel better. Optimus does the same in this scenario, it’s just that he doesn’t really know what’s bothering Megatron, since he refuses to tell him the truth. But he’ll be there for him regardless, hoping one day he feels comfortable enough to tell him

But yes, thing I drew that I quite like. Probably would be more impactful if the majority of the description wasn’t me just talking about the design process and my own personal nitpicks

[muchanmocha]

Do you think that Luka has a hard time understanding and/or feeling remorse for his actions if they don’t directly affect him, and do you think this is why he lacked a reaction at Hyun Woo’s death? Your post about him being horrified by killing his clones when he really wanted to set them free was great, and that, along with him also being horrified at Hyuna’s death, has me wondering this. But Luka seemed to genuinely see Hyun Woo as his friend even though they weren’t as close towards the end, but maybe they had drifted far enough apart in Luka's mind that he didn’t really associate himself with Hyun Woo at that point? What do you think?

[Referencing this post]

I actually have a longer post in the works about how the dead clones scene fits into the bigger picture and why I think it'd basically set everything else in motion, including what happened with Hyun Woo. But I can try to respond with some of the main points here!

-

Why did Luka lack a reaction to Hyun Woo's death, unlike with the clones and Hyuna?

But that's exactly it isn't it? Those two events bookend all of the times inbetween where Luka doesn't seem to care.

The scene with the clones is significant because it's the first time.

The scene with Hyuna is significant because it happened to Hyuna, and as I will get into further down, Hyuna fulfills a specific role for him.

What happened to the dead clones utterly broke his will and Luka chose to cope with that by completely withdrawing into himself, essentially committing to a form of escapism or dissociation.

In your dreams, you'll run and play

In paradise

— Wiege

I think after the clones incident, he basically just started blocking out everything that involves him processing death and loss.

That's where Hyuna comes in.

Hyuna is his escapism.

[Made a post breaking down the events with Hyun Woo here]

What changed with Luka and Hyun Woo wasn't that they drifted apart so Luka didn't care about him enough to be affected by his death.

What changed was that after the clones died, Luka threw away a reality he couldn't cope with to drown himself in Hyuna and only Hyuna.

In other words, he didn't react to Hyun Woo's death because it's part of the reality he's denying. He's (perhaps subconsciously) not allowing himself to acknowledge it or process it.

But he can't do that with Hyuna.

If Hyuna is his way of escaping from reality, where is he supposed to go, to escape to, when she's the one dying?

Despite the blood that follows him, Hyuna is the probably first time he's been forced to confront death since that very first scene with the clones.

Do you think Luka has a hard time understanding/or feeling remorse for his actions if they don't directly affect him?

There are strong implications that come with the fact that Hyuna told Luka to forgive himself.

It means he hasn't forgiven himself.

He keeps running away from what happened, and what's happening, because he isn't able to and won't be able to forgive himself for what he's done.

By not acknowledging the present and not processing the deaths that follow him, he essentially side-steps the problem.

He doesn't have to confront the guilt, shame, internal struggles, or the question of forgiveness... if it had never happened, right?

(To be clear he does know that people have died, whether that be Hyun Woo or the Alien Stage contestants he went up against.)

(However knowing something and processing something are two different things and I suspect he's mentally blocking himself from doing the latter.)

The dead clones incident can only affect him so deeply because he does have the inherent capacity for compassion.

But the world of Alien Stage is not kind to those with compassion. So he throws it away.

The post-Round 7 interview states that Luka looks down on Mizi and co for getting swept up in their emotions.

Luka likely dismisses this as foolishness by simply avoiding it.

— Post Round 7 Q&A, Patreon

Yeah, he does. I mean he basically dialed up that avoidance to 100.

Vivimeng describe Mizi and co as "strong individuals who, in a space that seems inhumane, seek to connect by loving others."

And that's absolutely true. They really are brave individuals for daring to care when it will only hurt more if they do.

At the same time it's understandable that Luka chose to turn away from that.

At a young age, he's already been shown, quite brutally, what happens if you care.

-

Thanks for the ask, anon! I ended up connecting even more dots while writing this up lol

[johnwickb1tsch]

lessons in anatomy XII

a yandere art professor John Wick x drawing model muse! reader AU... (also featuring Matt from River's Edge. If you haven't seen the movie that's ok, I will fill in the gaps as we go...) warnings: dark adult themes, violence, sex, drugs, yandere shit. plz don't read if u can't handle it ->chapter map

XII.

You can't leave your apartment for weeks. 

It's not that you just don't want to, or you don't feel like it. You literally, physically, cannot make yourself go out. 

Scared is an understatement. The dread you feel for the outside world is like a syrupy poison that has filled your bones. 

You were fearless once, but that was before something bad happened to you. Turns out that maybe deep down you've been a coward all along. 

Matt called you again later, to tell you that Samson and Layne seemed to have gone missing. A part of you is afraid that they're still out there, waiting. But another part of you whispers that they've gone somewhere they can't return from. 

He asks if you want some company, but you turn him down. You don’t blame him for what happened, but you don’t think you can handle it just yet. 

You call in for several shifts at the bookstore, which is not going to help your net income at all. You have some savings, but you really shouldn’t dip into them for this. You wanted to use it on a cool trip, not an agoraphobic staycation. But life happens, and it seems like hiding under your blanket has become your thing. 

You have nightmares of Samson reaching for you, and Layne’s cruel smile. 

You also dream of him.

Your mysterious Lone Wolf in his elegant mask. 

In your dreams you have the sense to let him take you in his arms and not let go. You dream of running from some looming danger with your smaller hand in his. You dream of kissing him, and his claws upon your tender bare flesh in the shadows where it feels like you are alone together.   

Every time you wake up in a cold sweat, longing for something that can never be. Not only did you miss the opportunity to unravel his mystery because you were too much of a coward. Matt’s friends are still missing, and you’ve begun to think that whoever that man in the wolf mask had been…he may have exacted a vengeance on those two that could land him in a lot of trouble, if anyone found out. 

You have no proof of anything. Your memory of the night isn’t even reliable. Just when you think you can put your finger down on something…it slips away into shards of images and feelings and sounds, but nothing you can hold onto.  

At first you fill your time with a lot of staring at the wall in the dark.

Then, a creative wind hits you, and you sit at your desk manically painting and cutting and glueing tiny bits of paper into one of the vintage boxes you’d picked up at the thrift shop that day with John. You make a scene of a towering dark forest in deep purples and blues with fog rolling through the trees, and teeny tiny dolls of Little Red Riding Hood chased by a pack of wolves. And even though it might be terribly incriminating…you add a van on fire in the distance, flames licking out of every window. When you finish you feel slightly better about it all–or at least like you’ve gotten something off your chest. 

Maybe you don’t know what happened…but you lived. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that…right? 

You close up the little box and bury it deep in a drawer, a secret just for you. 

You also know that maybe you shouldn’t be keeping that wolf mask on such open display on your nightstand…but you can’t bring yourself to move it just yet. It makes you feel better, just having it there like a totem to ward off evil, as though if you should move it your attackers might come back for you.  

Your groceries dwindle, until you are down to nibbling on an old box of stale crackers you had leftover from a gettogether months ago. They are not good, but you don’t really taste them anyway. 

When your next modeling session comes up you know you have to go, for your own sanity as much as anything. Your appointments at the school are less frequent, but they pay better than any of your other gigs. 

You're not wild about the idea of taking your clothes off at the moment, but it's not the class Matt is in, and it’s not like Professor Wick pays any attention to you anymore anyway. You are just a body. Flesh to be transferred with marks on paper, with no special feeling. 

Once, there was a certain freedom in that, but for some reason now it just leaves you feeling hollow inside. 

TBC...

___

->chapter map pinterest board/ photo credits

[lozeyart]

What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart

Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.

But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).

JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.

This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).

I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)

I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).

Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.

Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).

All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart

But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).

But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.

Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.

I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)

Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.

[kazumist]

SWEETLY BAKED WITH LOVE .ᐟ

✩ — in which zayne finds himself in a problem with his older patients relentlessly introducing and telling him about their daughters and granddaughters to him because he's single. what's a good way to shoo them off? perhaps wearing a keyring and fake dating your friend would do the trick!

✩ — includes: zayne x f!baker!reader. fluff. fake dating trope (not executed properly sorry i dont think i gave it justice), not much drama and confession scene is a bit boring imo :/, pace is a bit messy, based of that one part in the cdrama "the best thing", cw: food mentioned (baked sweets and wine), they're both idiots in love, wc: 7,166. i went insane Yes so what.

✩ — note: hi babes @koiukiy-o it's finally finished like can u believe it. i finished it in one fucking day initially but i woke up at 6am in the morning today (its around half past 7am by the time posting this) and added a bit more.

for zayne, being a young, famous, and favored doctor in akso hospital isn’t as pleasing as it sounds. only because the majority of his older patients try to match him up with their daughters with every given chance during their appointments scheduled with him. 

at first, it wasn’t all that serious. zayne even initially thought that maybe elderlies these days have started to grow accustomed to sharing stories of their children—of their daughters, specifically, who are coincidentally in the same age range as him. perhaps it was a new thing; yeah, that was probably it.

until the introductions became more frequent. 

ONE: AS SURPRISING AS A SUDDEN BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE AT YOUR DOOR.

from a father whose daughter is a successful certified public accountant (CPA) to a mother whose daughter is currently a cardiology resident in a nearby hospital, the names and positions of these women have started to jumble in his head. all zayne could do is take a deep breath and smoothly deflect the questions of his patients regarding his current relationship status.

“dr. zayne, you know, i have this daughter..." here we go again. zayne tunes out whatever the old woman was saying, nodding every now and then to convince her that he was interested. the old woman’s daughter was something of a business owner, though it’s not like zayne is actually paying that much attention to the description his patient was giving him. his focus is solely on the results that are in his hands.

“do you have someone special in your life right now, dr. zayne?” zayne pauses; the shuffling of the lab reports in his hands stopped as he processed the question. 

does he?

zayne doesn’t think that he does.

he has a few people that he cherishes in his life, yes. but does he think of himself settling down with someone by his side? well… not really—not yet, at least. zayne hasn’t given it that much thought himself. “before i answer that question, let’s discuss what your results have given us…” this method of zayne changing the subject works like a charm every time he does it. and with a blink of an eye, the old woman forgot her question and left after getting her new prescriptions from him.

zayne leans back on his chair, taking off his specs and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. he takes a deep breath, until his peace is interrupted by a knock at his door. the old woman should’ve been the last one; yvonne just came in and told him so not so long ago. he sits up right, fixing his posture as his professionalism starts to take over.

yet when the door creaks open to reveal you, zayne’s shoulders relax as he sits back once again.

maybe his peace wasn’t interrupted after all.

“what brings you here?” he asks you, eyeing you suspiciously as you’re obviously hiding something from him behind your back. “i come bearing gifts—one sweet little blueberry cheesecake from your favorite bakery! tadaaaa!” you say, revealing the little box to zayne and settling it on his desk, hoping he’d also envision the imaginary jazz hands you were doing before putting a plastic fork on top of it for him to use.

zayne has a sweet tooth and that’s practically common knowledge to you. and with you owning a bakery... well, let’s just say that the youngest heart surgeon in linkon city plays his favorites when it comes to shops that sell sweet pastries. 

a smile cracks onto his face as he sees the box. gently removing the fork on top and opening the box, zayne inspects the blueberry cheesecake before him as if contemplating if he should eat it now or save it when he gets home. “you don’t have to eat it now, silly. i just wanted to drop it off before your work ends today,” you say.

“no, it’s alright. i’ll eat it now. the toppings could get ruined when i travel back home.”

as he starts taking a few bites, you propped your chin onto your palm and lean on it, staring at the sweet dessert that’s slowly being consumed right in front of you. “sooo, do you have someone in your life right now, dr. zayne?” you asked him, putting emphasis on the way you called him as a sign of mockery.

zayne deadpans at your question, suddenly stopping himself from getting another bite. his expression is clearly conveying a message to you wordlessly: are you being serious right now? but zayne just sighs and continues on getting another bite before replying. “how did you know about that?”

“i heard you two through the door. and when your last patient came out—she was a delight, by the way, greeting me so kindly—she suddenly asked me if i was your girlfriend! i obviously didn’t answer her properly and good thing yvonne came in to save the day and escort her out of the cardiology department.” you told him.

the sweetness of the small piece of blueberry glides across his senses as he listens to you. zayne finds himself sighing deeply for what seems like the nth today, twirling the fork in his hand as he thinks. he doesn’t like burdening this problem of his with you, especially when you have nothing to do with it. “seems like you’re thinking about a lot there. are your thoughts being consumed by the numerous names that got mentioned to you?” you teased.

“i beg your pardon?”

“i was only kidding! you looked so deep in thought there. is everything alright?”

zayne doesn’t know either. he doesn’t know how long he could keep deflecting and changing the topics when his patients try to pry into this part of his life. he has a soft spot for his patients, sure, and he’s satisfied with his job. though zayne didn’t know that he would be signing up for this when he became a cardiac surgeon.

“yes, my apologies. i seemed to have spaced out for a moment there.”

you glance over him, observing his mannerisms and his habits. whenever zayne twirls or plays with the item in his hand, it means he’s thinking. whenever he sits back on his chair, that means he’s relaxed. yet you never seen him space out—not until now, at least—and that’s what’s different.

odd.

but you didn’t push the topic further, as you’re well aware that zayne isn’t the type to express himself so freely. and as if a light bulb literally just gained it’s light inside your brain, the gears inside your head started turning as you suddenly got an idea. “i think i just got the greatest idea of my life.” you asked him.

“and what would that be?” he asks back. should i be scared? he thinks.

“you’ll see! just you wait and look forward to the next time i’ll drop by and visit.” you flash him a grin as zayne finishes the last bit of the blueberry cheesecake.

TWO: AS ENTICING AS SIX MACARONS SERVED RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

the next time you saw each other, you didn’t visit zayne. zayne visited you, striding towards you sitting behind the counter. today was a saturday. and during saturdays, you open your shop a bit later than your usual opening time during weekdays. 

seeing the doctor visit your shop sometimes gives you a pinch of nostalgia coursing through you. you never would’ve expected to form a connection with a praised doctor in linkon in your life. but you don’t really have any regrets about it. you enjoy the surgeon’s company and he seems to enjoy yours.

“and what brings you here today, dr. zayne?” you say, greeting him as his eyes scan the pastries displayed before him. “please, refrain from the formalities. do you have anything new to recommend?” he replies.

your gaze follows his as you join him in looking for a pastry to offer. “hmm… oh! i know! you could taste test a new macaron flavor i’ve been trying. would you mind taking a seat while i got get them for you?” zayne nods before finding himself a seat and you take that as your cue to start running towards the kitchen located at the inner part of your establishment. 

when you got out, you joined him at the two-seater table he decided on, sitting across from him. “lately, i’ve been indulging myself in making macarons, right? and i wanted a different flavor for a change so i paired two ingredients together! take a bite and guess what it is.” you said, pushing the box of macarons towards him.

zayne inspects the macarons in front of him, attempting to deduce the flavor. it has a light brown color, with the filling having a deeper shade of brown. could it be two types of chocolate? he thinks. 

“staring at it will get you nowhere if you don’t actually taste it, you know.”

he snaps out of his thoughts at your words. he awkwardly coughs into his fist, avoiding your gaze. you stifled a laugh at him but zayne noticed it, feeling his ears grow hot. “ahem. pardon me for that. i’ll taste them now.” he says, grabbing a piece of the pastry. as soon as he takes a bite, the familiar taste of coffee beans (perhaps roasted?) and nutella washes over his tongue.

you were right; this was a different flavor that you don’t see often. “it’s delicious. were the coffee beans roasted? or were they grounded?” a small gasp escapes your lips at his question. “it was roasted, yeah! i’m surprised you noticed that; i didn’t think anyone would.”

“i felt the small chunks of the coffee beans as i chewed. and nutella as a filling balances the taste of the beans. i’d say it’s a good product to endorse.”

“really?”

zayne hums in agreement, finishing the macaron in his hand before grabbing another one from the box. “i recall that you haven’t told me your “idea” yet since the last time we saw each other.” he says, before taking another bite.

“oh! sorry about that; i keep forgetting to stop by akso hospital lately. but worry not—i didn’t forget about my idea!” you replied, fishing something out of your pocket. it was a keyring, though it wasn’t that obvious at first glance. “your idea is... a keyring?” he asks.

“wrong, the keyword is ring!” you say, grabbing his hand to check if it fits on his ring finger.

you seemed unaware of the effect of your actions, suddenly taking zayne by surprise by your sudden touch. he feels the cold metal wrap around the ring finger of his dominant hand. “look, it’s a perfect fit! just remember to always have it on, especially when you have appointments and surely those introductions would be gone, right?”

zayne inspects the keyring around his finger, flipping his hand as he takes it in. “i never would’ve expected that a keyring could act as a marriage ring.” he states. “m-marriage ring?!” you exclaimed. i never really thought of it as that. you thought, mentally sweatdropping. “is it not supposed to be?” zayne’s gaze at you shows obvious confusion. “well… i guess it could serve as that. i just thought of it as some fake promise ring that you could use at most.”

“the purpose is the same. i don’t think it matters what it stands for—the main purpose of this is to show my older patients that i’m taken, right?”

“yup! it’s nothing much, really, but i feel bad for what you have to endure when you have your appointments. do you think it would work?” you reply.

“we just have to play our cards right and then we’ll see.”

“mhm! wait—we?”

“yes, we. did i say something wrong?” there he goes again with the confused look.

“what do you mean… we?” this better not be what i’m thinking. you hoped, bracing yourself for whatever bomb he was about to drop.

but just as your luck to that runs out, zayne replies. “i thought we were both going to be wearing keyrings?” fuck, i knew it. you thought. inside your head, you can envision yourself on all fours, punching the ground as you also try to think of something—anything to reply with. 

“but you’re the only one who has this... conflict. what use would it be if i also wore one?”

before zayne could even realize it, he already took a step and started sailing in dangerous, uncharted waters. “you told me a few times, including the time that you last visited, that my patients have wondered and asked if you were my significant other. wouldn’t it be more convincing if we were to uphold that sentiment?”

you swore you could feel your soul drain itself out of your body.

“so you want us to... fake date, basically? so we could stop your older patients from introducing their endless amount of daughters and granddaughters? did i get that right?” you ask again, just to be sure if what you’re hearing is actually right and real.

“yes, you’re quite spot-on.” 

“you’re lucky that i have two keyrings by coincidence.”

well, it’s not like it’s going to be anything serious. and it’s also beneficial for me because they also pester me with their questions every time i visit. the offer is way a bit enticing for it’s own good—but everything should be fine.

with a soft sigh and one macaron left on the box (you and zayne were snacking on them as you had your discussion), you spoke again. “you’ve got yourself a deal. you better start wearing that keyring, dr. zayne.”

“i don’t think you should be calling me that when we’re supposed to portray ourselves like a couple.” he remarked.

you choke on your own saliva at his statement. “w-we’ll talk about the other details another day! how does the next time i visit—which i actually promise to do now—sound?” cursing yourself for stammering (but how could you not when he caught you so off guard?), you try your best not to embarrass yourself any further. “that sounds good.”

as the last macaron on the box you served gets consumed, you find yourself securing a peculiar deal with a certain heart surgeon.

THREE: AS SOUR AS A BITE OF STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE MELTING ON YOUR TONGUE.

staying true to your promise, you visited zayne a few days after his visit to your bakery. you had the same keyring wrapped around your ring finger, hoping to find zayne the same. “are you busy?”

he glances at you from his monitor and you notice that his shoulders relax again when he realizes it was you in the doorway. “what pastry do you have in store for me this time?” he asks you as you approach to have yourself a seat on the small couch.

“sadly there’s no pastry today; i accidentally forgot to grab one from the bakery’s fridge before i left but next time i’ll bring you some strawberry shortcake!”

“i’ll take note of that.”

zayne then continues to speak. “about where we stopped our discussion last time... would it be okay with you to completely drop with the formalities in general? you don’t have to call me dr. zayne, especially when we’re in the hospital.”

“what do i call you then?”

“zayne would be just fine. almost no one calls me that here.”

“zayne, huh… zayne, zayne… zayne.” you repeat his name to get yourself used to it. “alright then, doct—i mean, zayne.”

he nods at you in acknowledgement as you shift your gaze at his dominant hand. surely enough, you saw that keyring on his finger. “i see you’re wearing the keyring. did it work so far?” you ask him. “actually, yes, it did. the introductions lessened and i found myself at peace with most of my appointments today.”

“so my plan does work. huh, i never would’ve thought.” zayne takes this as an opportunity to reply. “how about you? did your keyring work?” 

“not yet, i guess? when i arrived, yvonne told me that your appointments and checkups were done for the day. so i didn’t really encounter any of your patients today. maybe next time.”

-

zayne visited your bakery during the weekend again. although unfortunately, you weren’t there. one of your employees said that you were busy with an errand today so zayne just got a slice of yet another blueberry cheesecake on the go and quickly made his leave.

(he doesn’t see why he would stay when he isn’t sure of what time you’d return.)

-

the next time you and zayne saw each other, you had forgotten to bring the strawberry shortcake you told him back then. but what did happen is that you encountered a few familiar patients of zayne’s. they were all women who looked like they’re in their mid-sixties in a group of three. they were chatting nearby the entrance to zayne’s office when they spotted you.

and apparently, one of them recognized you.

“hello, dear. you’re the one who brings dr. zayne snacks, right? i remember seeing you here before.” she says, approaching you. “ah, yes! that would be me.” you let out a soft chuckle at her. “how kind of you to do so! are you perhaps his girlfriend?” another woman asks. the woman who approached you (who introduced herself as violet), shushes her friend. “don’t throw sudden questions at the lady! sorry about her, dear.”

the third woman in their group suddenly perks up and points at your hand. “look violet, her ring looks familiar... where have i seen it before, i wonder?” as soon as she said that, all three of the women’s attention was now all on your hand with the keyring on it. 

“isn’t that like the ring on dr. zayne’s hand?”

there was then a moment of silence before they all realized what that question meant. 

after escaping the clutches of their neverending queries (that you tried to answer as much as you could, and you never could’ve escaped without yvonne’s help of escorting them out), you finally got to knock on zayne’s office.

“come in.” his voice sounds muffled through the door.

once you settle down yourself inside, you let out a huge and relieved sigh. “was there a commotion outside? i heard multiple voices through the door, one of them being yours.” zayne asks.

“ah, well it turns out that your patients are really observant. did you know i had to make up some fake story on the spot of how we met?”

“is that so? do you mind telling me what this story is? they might ask about it the next time they come for a checkup.” he replies. 

the actual story of how you and zayne met wasn’t really that far off from the one you told the small group of old ladies. 

(it was dusk when you encountered zayne on the sidewalk; you accidentally bumped into him and he noticed you were seemingly in a rush. “oh my god, i’m so sorry! i wasn’t looking where i was running.” zayne waves his hand dismissively. “it’s alright, are you hurt?” 

“not at all—” you checked the time with your wrist watch. “crap! uhm, excuse me, sir. do you know if there’s a flower shop nearby here? i’m in a terrible need of dried flowers at the moment.” you ask him.

zayne thought about it for a moment, trying to recall if there is one. he then tells you the directions to the flower shop he has seen in the area and you immediately thanked him. “thank you, thank you so much! feel free to drop by the cozy oven. my treat for helping me! thank you again, kind sir!” you say before running off in the direction he told you.

that was first time you met him and you were sure that was also the first time he met you.

but what if it isn’t?)

“oh, you know, i just told them some silly old cliche where i bumped into you while holding two bouquets of flowers and decided to treat you to some coffee as an apology. nothing that out of the ordinary, really.”

“noted. they’ll probably ask me about which bouquet it was next time.” this time it was his turn to let out a sigh.

“oh yeah! one of my staff members said you visited the bakery last weekend. sorry, i was busy that time. my friend ordered a cake for this event and i was also invited to it so i had to leave the job of handling the bakery to my employees.” you told him. “it’s alright, don’t fret.”

that day ended with zayne offering you a ride home.

-

the next few times you and zayne were together after that, you swear something was changing.

you never thought zayne could be the touchy type; he grabs ahold of your hand, going as far as interlocking your fingers together. hell, he even puts his hand on your waist when you’re walking in public.

you knew what you were getting into when you both agreed on that deal. but it’s just so... strange. scary, if you think about it.

how is he so good at this? no, more like—

why does it feel so real?

zayne is an attractive man, and that was certainly a fact. smart, rich, handsome, and well-mannered—he’s even soft spoken for goodness sake! that man has got it all, which is no wonder why some of his patients would want to set up their daughter with him. any woman would be lucky to experience what it’s like to be loved by him.

but is this what it feels like?

perhaps.

that was all you could say—after all, this is all just a fake setup so you both could shoo away his patients.

yet if it was all fake, why were your faces suddenly so close to one another right now? your lips were close to brushing against each other; one small nudge and you’d find out what it was like to kiss zayne.

the sudden phone ring echoing somewhere in the room snaps the both of you out of it.

as you both pull away out of surprise, zayne picks up the phone. “this is zayne speaking.” he says.

you just sat there on his couch, wondering many things.

it’s just a fake stunt. don’t get sidetracked, (y/n).

but why is it that whenever you remind yourself that it is fake, an uncertain pang hits your chest? you never could tell zayne this; he might think you suddenly have a heart condition and be concerned (and you wouldn’t be surprised because he is someone who is under cardiology).

this could be nothing. no, scratch that; it is nothing. zayne is an impossible man to reach, and he is only a friend to you.

nothing more, nothing less.

-

the next time you visited zayne at akso hospital, you finally had a slice of strawberry shortcake stored safely in a box for him.

you were still distracted by the time you two almost kissed, but you couldn’t let zayne know that for obvious reasons.

at this point in your fake dating plan, his patients are all convinced that you both are together, finding it cute and squealing in awe when you see each other in the hallway where his office is located. you were surprised at how well you and zayne were pulling this off. 

“special delivery for dr. zayne?” you say, peeking through the door to check if he’s busy. “and what did i order this time?” he asks back. you take that as your cue to step inside. “one slice of a promised and long overdue strawberry shortcake!” you told him, setting down the small box and another plastic fork on top of the box.

“about time you remembered.” he says, taking the fork and opening the box. the familiar scent of strawberry shortcake then circulates around the two of you, which made zayne take a bite almost immediately. “are you planning on visiting the bakery this weekend?” you then ask him.

zayne swallows before he speaks. “i have thought about it, yes. and i was actually planning to ask you about your weekend plans today actually.”

“oh? why?”

“i was just wondering if you’d like to make plans with me since i’m usually off-duty during weekends.”

you become a bit awkward as soon as zayne says that. and zayne, being as observant as ever, obviously noticed it. “is there something wrong? it’s okay if you’re busy.” you waved your hands at him, “no, no! it’s not like that. well, kinda i guess? ugh, it’s just that…”

“i may or may not have agreed to go on a blind date this weekend.”

if zayne hadn’t listened that carefully, he would’ve missed it. but no, he caught every single word that slipped out of you. the sour taste of the sliced strawberry, along with the spongy texture of the cake, suddenly felt like sand in zayne’s mouth. and as ironic as that, he suddenly feels iffy as soon as you say that—like he was also sour. “is that so… that’s alright. you should enjoy your plans instead.”

“wait. you’re not mad?”

am i mad? zayne mentally asked himself. he doesn’t think he is, but he does somewhat feel disturbed by the idea of you going on a date with another man, and that doesn’t feel right to him either. “i’m not. why would i be mad?” a lie.

you stiffen at your seat, trying to come up with an explanation. that question just slipped off of your tongue; you didn’t mean to ask that. “well, uhm.. you know, because we’re in this fake dating thingy, i just thought it would be weird to you if i were to go see someone else and all that, yeah.”

“you said it yourself; this is all fake. so i’m not stopping you if you want to do that.”

ouch? why does his confirmation that it’s nothing serious get a kick to it? you thought. “really? okay then, thanks for letting me know.” 

zayne couldn’t shake off the sourness of the strawberry from his tongue. and the thing is—the strawberries that you use for your products aren’t even that sour. it was more sweet than sour in the first place. so why? why can’t he get the sourness off?

why does he suddenly feel so bitter at the thought of you seeing someone else?

the rest of the hour felt a bit suffocating after that.

FOUR: AS BLAND AS MISSING THE DELECTABLE TASTE OF YOUR COMPANY.

when the weekend rolled around, zayne didn’t visit your bakery. he didn’t find a need to because you weren’t there. he wasn’t close to your staff and he doesn’t really want to get close to them. and zayne isn’t that close with a lot of people in general, so he decided to spend his weekend at home.

he thinks about the conversation he had with you when you brought up the topic of having a blind date scheduled today.

and he still feels sour about that. he doesn’t know why. 

then he suddenly remembers the one time when he was so close to feeling your lips on his. zayne hoped that he wasn’t obvious but this moment had perhaps made him short circuit. your face was so close—he could take every little detail of your features with the distance.

but you just had to have this blind date today.

zayne feels even more sour after that.

he was a doctor, yes, but he obviously isn’t an expert in psychology or emotions. so as he unlocks his phone, he opens the web browser installed and types in the search bar.

now, jealousy was a foreign concept for zayne. 

he stares blankly at the results his search shows him, a part of him refusing to believe that what he was feeling was jealousy and the rational part of him telling himself that if this isn’t it, what else could it be?

but another question puts him in a dilemma. why is he even jealous in the first place? 

of course you can go see other people. he doesn’t have the right to be mad about that. zayne didn’t own you, and you didn’t own zayne. if he were in your position, you’d just let him go on that blind date.

yet the idea of you falling in love with another makes him uneasy.

oh.

oh.

zayne wasn’t stupid. he didn’t need to drown himself in any more thoughts on this matter to realize what was happening to him.

he was falling.

falling for you, to be specific.

and there’s nothing that could help him.

-

being forced into a blind date never goes well. and you swore that you'd strangle your friend who forced you into this in the first place.

“so, what do you do for a living?” your date asks before sipping from his glass of red wine. “oh, i’m a baker. i run a bakery, actually. it’s located nearby akso hospital.” 

“is that so? what do you usually bake?”

“i bake all sorts of things! from cakes to macarons—“ you pause when you say macarons. you suddenly recall the day when you asked zayne to taste test your new macaron flavor. you cleared your throat to regain composure.

“sorry about that; something just came to mind. but like i said, i bake a whole lot of cakes and pastries. i like to experiment with new flavors, you see. what about you?”

“oh, i’m currently a resident at akso hospital actually!” the man before you says. “really? under which department?” you ask him. “cardiology. i always found the heart a fascinating thing to study.”

you tried to hold yourself back from choking on your wine. “c-cardiology, you say…?” hearing the term come out of your date’s mouth has something uncomfortable bubbling up inside of you. your mind finds itself drifting back to zayne—

what am i even thinking? get a grip (y/n)! you’re on a date for fuck’s sake!

“mhm. one of my mentors is really nice, a bit cold but i know he’s just really like that. his name is dr. zayne, by the way.” and as if the universe is mocking you right now, your date just had to say that his mentor was zayne of all people.

“i think i’ve heard of him once or twice, yeah. he’s a good heart surgeon, right?”

as time seemed to pass by, you could feel yourself feeling more distracted. when the waiter came to ask if you’d like any dessert, your mind immediately thought of zayne.

while looking through the dessert menu, you wondered if zayne would like what this restaurant is offering. what would zayne’s opinion be on this? 

and your date continues to speak, the sole fact that he’s a resident under zayne, was enough to sidetrack your mind towards him. 

zayne, zayne, zayne. this whole date has done nothing but remind you of the doctor.

by the time the date was over, you entered the door to your apartment complex (which is located above your bakery) and slid against the door as soon as you closed it.

removing your heels as you were on the floor, you let out a sigh. “what the fuck is going on with me tonight?” you asked no one in particular.

the date wasn’t even bad but nothing about it felt right for you. like there was something clearly wrong with the whole principle of you going on a blind date in the first place but you didn’t know what it was.

you try to recall what happened before the blind date happened, trying to see if something would have triggered your current state.

your recollection brings you to the time you told zayne about the blind date a few days ago. 

something felt off about him when you dropped the bomb on him that time. it’s as if something shifted in the air when you revealed your plans for the weekend to him.

“oh, god. you have got to be kidding me.” you facepalmed when the realization dawned upon you.

your thoughts were running. how could’ve i been so stupid? it was written all over my face in the first place! i like zayne. holy shit i actually—

but it all stops there when you then realize what you just said. 

-

you didn’t visit zayne after your blind date. and when he visits your bakery, you hide yourself from him in the kitchen (and you also told your employees to not spill a word about your actual whereabouts, making them form excuses on what you’re up to). 

simply to say, you were avoiding zayne.

it scared you. you didn’t know what to do with your new feelings, especially when the whole fake dating thing was still ongoing for the both of you. 

how can you keep faking it all up when everything just feels so real? when you couldn’t help but wonder if you’re still friends after everything you’ve done?

zayne: Are you going to visit today?

zayne: I miss getting my special delivery.

you stared at his message, trying to process it. why did he have to say it like that? what does he mean by that? you thought.

(y/n): sorry, i can’t. 

(y/n): i need to prioritize some cake orders for now. maybe next time.

zayne: Oh, alright then.

you know full well that there most probably won’t be a next time. you’ll just keep denying and deflecting as much as you can—and as long as you can.

however, zayne knew you were avoiding him and he most definitely didn’t need to be a genius to notice that. 

but he doesn’t know why. was it something that he did? were you alright? perhaps you haven’t been feeling well as of late. were you overworking yourself lately?

zayne thinks about the time you two almost kissed again. maybe he should’ve gone for it. maybe he shouldn’t have answered that goddamn phone call. maybe—

maybe he shouldn’t have let you go on that blind date.

your phone vibrates against the pocket of your apron. you pull it out to check the notification and go blank at the sender.

zayne: Have you been well?

zayne: We haven’t seen each other lately.

his clinic hours are not the same as of late. zayne got so used to you visiting him at akso—to seeing you in general—that it just feels... bland now that you’re not present.

zayne misses you. and he wonders if you miss him too.

FIVE: AS SWEET AS KNOWING THAT I WASN’T TOO LATE.

(before you bumped into zayne on the sidewalk, you two had actually met.

once in a cafe, and once in the grocery store... zayne had noticed that since you two lived in the same community, it was bound that you’d encounter each other a lot—although you don’t really seem to notice him.

when zayne met you in the grocery store, the first thing that he noticed about you was that your shopping cart was halfway filled with baking ingredients. there were at least three (or was it four?) dozen of eggs stacked, two packs of all-purpose flour, a small bottle of sprinkles (both the colorful and chocolate ones), and a whole lot more.

at first glance, any other person would ignore you. zayne would be one of them—he had no clue why he noticed you and your shopping cart. he was only in the aisle because it’s the way to where the bread was located.

that was the first time zayne sees you.

the second time he saw you, zayne encountered you in a cafe this time. weeks passed since he saw you while he was out for groceries and you had papers sprawled all over the small table in front of you. zayne didn’t really get a good look at them but he assumed that it was all sorts of cake design from the single glance he got to have.

wedding cakes, birthday cakes, anniversary cakes. there were a whole bunch of designs. perhaps you baked for a living.

again, at first glance, any other person would ignore you. and zayne would still be one of them—though would this become a lie because isn’t it strange that it has happened twice? not like there’s anything bad with noticing you. it’s just... out of his character, per se.

the third time zayne meets you, it was the time you also recall—the encounter on the sidewalk. now, what were the chances that zayne would meet you there that late afternoon? he didn’t know. 

and with that small conversation between the two of you happening, zayne’s assumption was correct. the baking ingredients, the cake designs, and now you telling him to visit your bakery—

maybe he should visit the cozy oven during the weekend.)

around three weeks have passed since you started ignoring him. you were surprised at how well you were doing so far. not like it was hard doing so. the real challenge was to ignore his texts and make yourself reply late. 

and when he visits the bakery, which is what’s going on right now.

it was almost nine in the evening when you finished closing up your bakery. you heard footsteps getting louder, signaling that someone is walking towards you. 

“there you are.” you knew that voice anywhere.

“zayne? what are you doing here at this hour?” you ask him out of surprise. “well, a certain someone seems to be hiding from me, so i thought it was time to change my strategy and do a surprise attack. it looks like it worked.”

“ah. sorry about that... work has been a bit busy. you know?” you take in zayne’s appearance before you, eyes slightly widening at the keyring that is still on his finger.

(how ironic because you were also wearing yours at the moment. your excuse would be “it was out of pure habit.”)

“so busy that even when i visit you hide yourself from me?”

he got you there. “i—no, no! it’s just that—“ zayne cuts you off with another question. “did i do something wrong?”

“what?”

“you heard me. (y/n), did i do something wrong? i understand that you’ve been busy but something feels different. like there’s something more to it than just you being busy.” he then says. why does he have to be always so observant?

the guilt of your decisions as of late started to eat you up inside. “i… i don’t know.”

“you don’t know?” zayne asks again.

“i mean, it’s not like i literally don’t know but it’s just... did we even do the right thing? you know, fake date and all of that.”

zayne could feel the unease creeping up on him with your question. “the plan worked, did it not?”

“no, zayne. what i mean is that did we do the right thing with fake dating in the first place? because for the love of god, we almost kissed! and—and we’re both old enough to realize that friends don’t just... kiss.”

“is this about your blind date a few weeks ago?” you don’t know what he means by that. because you never met up again with that blind date, telling him that as much as it was nice to know him, you’re not really interested in giving romance a whirl for now. 

you didn’t know what to answer to that. “so it is.” he then says. you wanted to say no, but no words came out of you. it was as if your lips felt like they were sewn closed. “i guess i was too late then.”

too late?

“wait—what do you mean too late?”

zayne’s look in his eyes confused you. you couldn’t decipher the emotions that were present in his gaze. “aren’t you still seeing your blind date nowadays?”

then it all made sense to you.

zayne thinks the reason you started avoiding him was probably because he thought you hit it off with your blind date. before you could answer his question, he speaks again. “to be honest with you, recently, especially during your absence, i have come to the realization that i like you, (y/n).”

wait. what?

too speechless to cut in, he continues. “i felt off when you first said that you agreed to that blind date of yours. i just brushed it off back then but later i realized that it was because i was jealous. i soon regretted not doing anything about it—and when you started ignoring me, i couldn’t help but think that maybe you didn’t want to visit me anymore in my office as a sign of respect to your new lover.” in other words, i missed you.

you try to process everything that he just came clean about. but there is only one highlight in everything he said—he likes you. zayne likes you.

and you like him too.

“first of all, i’m really sorry for ignoring you, zayne. i honestly only did it out of fear because i recently realized that i like you too.” zayne was about to speak up when you raised a hand to shush him. “let me finish first. i never met with my blind date again after our first meeting. i told him that i kindly told him that i didn’t want to try romance for now—though that was partially a lie because i only find myself wanting to try romance out with you.”

zayne also only got one highlight out of that—you like him too. that’s all that matters to him.

“so i wasn’t too late?” he then asks.

you take a few steps closer to him. “no, zayne. you’re just in time.”  zayne’s hands find themselves on your waist. “then can i kiss you?” you shoot him a playful glare. “are you sure a phone call isn’t going to interrupt us this time?” you then say, arms wrapping themselves around his neck.

“i’m sure.”

“then you can.”

and without hesitation, zayne leans in to capture your lips with his. he could feel you smiling in the kiss, and zayne savors the faint taste of your lippie—not minding that it might have smudged on his lips now.

when you both pulled away, you couldn’t help but giggle. zayne’s lips were covered in some of your tinted lip gloss. you reach out a hand to smudge it away before pecking him a quick kiss to his nose and asking him, “do you want to come inside? i have a new macaron flavor for you to taste test.”

“is that so? what is it this time?” he replies, hands not leaving your waist.

“salted caramel! but not the ones that are sweet; i made sure that this one actually has a salty kick to it!”

zayne definitely has a sweet tooth.

yet there’s nothing more sweet than knowing that you like him too.

[i-am-literally-deranged]

I can't stop thinking about Chuuya's fucking room in the Stormbringer manga. It was NOT described as this fucked up in the novel.

This?!?

Is an INSANE evil room.

In the book, it's described as mostly empty, sparesely decorated. There's only a sentence or two dedicated to it. It leaves no impression. But in the MANGA?? We spend several pages in Chuuya's room, and the more I think about it, the worse it gets. I've become completely obsessed with this fucking nightmare chamber Chuuya apparently lives in. Whoever designed this space is a staunch believer in feng shui and also hates Chuuya and wants him to DIE.

First of all, I measured the room using the bed as a ruler, and it's about 18 x 7 feet. That's. That's a hallway. 18 feet long and seven feet wide, that's a fucking hallway. This room is built like a fucking hallway. It also appears to be constructed almost entirely out of some kind of narrow paneling that goes straight from the floor and up the walls seamlessly.

Then the bed facing AWAY from the door?!?? Just floating in the dead center of the room, touching zero walls, head to the door?! That is the most evil room design imaginable. Imagining trying to sleep in Chuuya's evil demon bed is making my skin crawl. No fucking wonder he's having nightmares in this scene.

Secondly

That lamp is not plugged in. It has a cord, so we know it's not wireless or something, but scroll back up to that first image, there is NO CORD coming away from that table. Which it is, by the way. That's a table. Not a desk. There's no storage space, no drawers, no NOTHING. He doesn't even have any loose pens on his desk. There are no pens to be found here, so I guess he's just reading those papers on his table, because he sure isn't working on them. The table is so far away from the wall that if he DID plug in his lamp, it would be stretched out straight and become a tripping hazard. I cannot imagine where he charges his phone, because it's not sitting on the floor next to an outlet anywhere. I just have to assume that he keeps it in the bathroom or something.

These next two shots show us that some uncertain number of the walls in here are MIRRORED. Full body mirrors. I can't even fully process where in the room these are. It looks like he's walking towards either the head or foot of the bed in that first panel, so this IS in the same room. We can also see the narrow vertical paneling on the wall again from the first page, as well as what looks like more ofnthese big full body mirror panels like you'd find in a dance studio.

So not only is Chuuya in an uncomfortable room shaped like a hallway, bed facing away from the door, but he is doing so in a room at least partially WALLED IN MIRRORS. I cannot overstate how fucked that would feel. This is the kind of room I would build in the sims when trying to drive them insane. I'm imagining trying to lay down in this bed in the dark trying to sleep, bed floating in the center of the room, door behind your head, mirrors on any number of the walls around you. What the fuck. What the fuck???

They have so successfully crafted a room that conveys that Chuuya has no idea how to be a person, because what the fuck is this???? Dazai's shipping container is at least arranged in a way that makes sense. That's essentially just a shitty dorm room. Chuuya's room has forced me to ask questions like "Where does he keep his socks and underwear???" And "Does he own a pen?" "Does Chuuya wash his singular cup in the bathroom sink???" The more I look at it, the more questions I have. Is this some kind of.... punishment? Did they put him in this fucked up mirror hell room because they don't like him? Did Chuuya himself design this awful room? I mean, this is the first time he's been in control of his own space so it makes sense that he didn't know what to do with it, but. Fuck. Why did he land on all furniture in the exact center of the room surrounded in mirrors?!?? Did they give him this room minimally furnished, just set the desk and bed in the middle with the idea that he would arrange it how he likes, and he just didn't kniw that that was an option and has been living in it exactly as it was?? This is horrible. I am haunted. I don't think he has any windows. I can't figure out where the vertical strips of light are coming from besides maybe through those weird narrow slats on the wall?? I CANNOT stop overthinking these three pages. He has a mirrored shoe closet AND a mirrored suit closet and nothing else. The suit closet looks like it's the door at the front of the room, but that makes mo sense because then where is the door in and out of the room itself? I can't tell how much of the wall is actually mirrored and how much just looks exactly the same as the other side of the room. Where is his bathroom actually located??? I have been thinking about this fucking room since this manga dropped like two months ago. It haunts me.

[lyiswriting]

Plus size!reader x Stalker!OC

Past mention

Things about Landon!

I kinda want Landon to be like a Punk/Jock. Idk I'm figuring it out

How I'm thinking they met

Met the reader in the subway. It was a rush hour and the train was packed and she was standing in front of him. He didn't pay attention at first just scrolling on his phone. Until he looked up and they accidentally made eye contact. He fell so quickly, he couldn't stop looking at her as she squirmed. His gaze making her uncomfortable, she thought he was handsome but why would he be looking at her. Reader doesn't question her beauty but it's still weird.

Offered her his seat but she refused as it was already hard to get around and her hips weren't about to fit in that space. He insists but she keeps refusing. Eventually they both drop the conversation but Landon doesn't stop looking at her. Taking in every inch of her, even sneaking a picture the best he can.

Things he starts to do

He starts purposely missing his usual train to take the same one as reader. Once this starts to affect his schedule he changes it so it can fit. Doesn't even need to talk to reader as long as he gets to look at her.

Observes everything about her. Her style, purse, pins, keychains, anything! To try and get more information on her, soon enough he catches a glimpse of a tag on her purse. That's how he gets her name and quickly takes it to social media.

Starts to purposely push people out, makes sure there's a seat next to him. Once this fails the first couple times and reader doesn't sit next to him he re-thinks. From observing he notices she tries to take as little space as she can. And from media he finds out people complain about plus size people sitting next to them. So he starts to stand, stands next to her, glances at her phone, down her shirt, and into her bag if he can!

Subway can get pretty rough so when they hit a rough patch he always uses it as an excuse to get closer. Putting his hand on the bar next to her, "stumbling" into her, grabbing her so she "doesn't fall" all with that innocent charm of his.

Diary keeping. Writes down everything! Even if it's the smallest glance it will have almost a whole page. What reader wore, if she had a snack, how she looked, and not only the stuff you can see. But the stuff he's imagining, the bra color, the beauty marks, the positions.

He starts incorporating her into the things he does. I'm not sure what I want Landon to work as but reader does make her way into it. If it's art she is his muse, he draws her and paints her body all the time. Over and over making sure every detail is just right not leaving a single mark. If it's music, his lyrics describe her. The plush of her hips, his need to grab and bite. If it's business or something of the sorts he creates things that allows plus size people to be more included. Like more sizing, open spaces, and things he knows she will like.

Reader isn't Landon's type.

By reader not being Landon's "type" I mean he has never been with a bigger woman. He's stereotyped to be seen with that classic skinny, blonde, and blued eyes. It will play into the gaslighting and manipulation I have planned for him to do.

Landon is used to getting what he wants.

Even if he has to fight for it he will have it. Anything and anyone. He's patient and will achieve. Yes, this does mean he would kill for reader.

Reader makes Landon feel like he's never felt hormones before.

He's confused himself because he's never been shy with women, always had options. So the way that he can't get her out of his head is insane to him. Spends hours and hours just thinking about reader, drawing, writing, rewatching videos he's taken, printing pictures, picking out gifts to send her, and watching porn but looking for her. Anyone that looks like her but it's never enough because it's not reader!

I'm so happy and grateful for the support on the first post! So here's some stuff I have planned for Landon. Definitely more to come and more scenes!