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rosiehufflepuff · 4 years ago

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𝓦𝓮𝓫 𝓸𝓯 𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

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Summary : Draco emotions is getting the best of him , as you and Harry are paired for astronomy project , causing a big hit in your friendship not only that but also causing you to ask why he was jealous when you are only friends and how he is trying to control who you can have as friends and who you can’t have as you call out his toxic behaviour and Draco discovers his emotions .

Draco X Fem Reader

Warning : jealousy . Possessive Draco , Insecure Draco , Harry and Draco rivalry , Angst , and too much FLUFF

House : Hufflepuff

Year : fifth

Link of the casual outfit : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eMCrdnjLtSN-6Xjysfvffq4HzeX-rJk_/view?usp=drivesdk

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Draco watched as his anger was getting too big that he felt that his body couldn’t contain it anymore , usually Draco could keep a straight face whatever any emotion he felt but at this moment he couldn’t , you were smiling at Potter being all friendly and such , leading his blood to boil , you were extremely friendly with the annoying Gryffindor!! Yes , he get it , Hufflepuff and all , being nice is the nature , that what made him attached to you in first place , but you were talking and being kind To HIS ENEMY ! You shouldn’t even be talking to him !! In first place !! You were his friend ! HIS !!! You should only talk to him not his enemies !!

“ hoho wow ... we are finally seeing emotions on malfoy face “ Theo couldn’t help but comment with a smug smirk as he earns a harsh scowl from the icy blonde boy “ shut it Nott or I swear the next thing that you will see is my shoes squishing your eyes “ “ he is right though Malfoy , your face is literally changing colours , expression , and literally your eyes are stuck on them ! “ Blaise commented more like stating fact ” that is true also !! , draco do you know what we are doing for this project ? ” pansy gave a questionable look to the pale boy, resulting in draco to run his hand in his hair as he breaths heavily , getting up from his chair “ since you all being Nosy Fucking Twats and it seems like you have plenty of time to blab why don’t you all continue on the project , yeah ? “ with that draco left with glare as he walked out of the library to cool off “ he got it so bad ......” Theo commented with a smirk “ yes completely ” earning an agreement from both Slytherins .

Draco went out , breathing deeply the fresh air , you were his friend and his hate for Harry was no secret for you and you were a Hufflepuff and that was no secret for Draco , he knows ‘ the moral code of the Hufflepuffs’ and how strong did you hold into them .

However what irritated and concerned Draco was you and Potter were friends. Before..... You and him even talked , he is fully aware of Potter ideas about slytherin and him....which leaded to a fear of losing you to him......

Does he trust your judgement? ...........of course he does , does he trust Potter ? Dear Salazar NO .... and that what worries him ... also the idea of you and Harry leaves a sour taste in his mouth , a strong one .

you were quite attractive and you had a decent personality And of course what will make the Gryffindor happier than making the slytherin ‘s life miserable!......... by taking you away from him and as much as he despised it, you and Potter are quite fitted for each other ......but no way in the name of Merlin ’s Bread he would give you to him!!

The slytherin prince now knew for sure that universe actually hated his guts cause just in this moment you and Potter walked out , you , smiling as harry is pointing out the stars while you are carrying a sketch book with your quil as you both admired the dark night sky .

Draco didn’t know what is the assignment was nor he cared about it in this moment , all he cared about was to hear what you and Potter talked about , as the way to do that was neither of you can see him . Causing him to blend with the darkness of the trees shadows

“ and you see here , two days from now we will see Jupiter's movement ! “ Harry explained excitingly causing you to smile “ yes i know !! However ........ I feel it would be hard to see from the astronomy tower as all fifth year students would be there for it ...... do you think we would able to glance it , write the essay and fill the star chart ......? “ you couldn’t help but voice your concerned leading Harry to think for a moment

“ Gryffindor tower !!” “ excuse me ........I meant ......say again..........? “ “ we can see it from the Gryffindor tower !!” “ wait really ??” “ yes , most of students won’t think of this “ “ well I’m sure Hermione did think of that “ you said while giggling a little , making Harry himself chuckle “ of course she would “ he said it , rolling his eyes jokingly as he continued “ we can of course go there .......if you have n-no problem I mean ........” “ of course ! Why would I have a problem in Helga ‘s name ? “ you said giving the chosen boy a big smile , making him grin himself “ excellent ! Meet me in front of the fat lady portrait !” ” you got yourself a deal potter ” you said seriously, resulting in him to chuckle ” beautiful deal I would say ” ” well that was smooth ” you said as you gave the boy in glasses a playful look ” really? I thought it was little sap ” yes kinda but still smooth ” ” ouch well I better go before I say more sappy stuff yeah? See ya tomorrow ” ” see ya!!” you both parted ways, not noticing the hidden boiling fire in the very dark.

Draco was furious and angry, he flirted with you AND YOU FLIRTED BACK !! HE ASKED YOU ON A DATE AND YOU ACCPET IT !! that is a project NOT A CHANCE FOR POTTER TO SNOG YOU !!!

He didn’t like what he saw , in fact, it resulted in leaving a huge fury to swallow his body , to him , it was you choosing Potter over him and it left a wound in the pale boy ‘s heart , like everyone else they would .... he didn’t know why it was hurting , .... it felt like you are leaving him behind .....and replacing him with what people always say, is better than him ........ Draco couldn’t control his emotions anymore resulting in him to run to the slytherin dungeon to be alone with his thoughts , he is not gonna give Potter what he always wanted .... which is a breakdown .

🌻————————-🌻

After two days passed , it was the weekend and Merlin , you didn’t wanna to wake up after a whole week the last day always seemed to be so hard but you needed to get up , no matter what , cause no one would Attend it for you .

An annoyed groan slips from your mouth as you jump out of the bed stretching and getting yourself into your yellow and black uniform , last day but one of the busiest , you have heavy school day not forgetting of course the meeting with Harry. However you were quite excited , you are gonna see the Jupiter movement clearly also you never saw the Gryffindor tower from inside so yes , maybe it will be a good day after all.

Walking out to your first class which was herbology a subject you completely adored , being with professor sprout cheerful personality and voice , some people fainting causing a giggle here and there , the whispers of the plants and finally , A current slytherin shared this class with you and being with him made the hardest things bearable , one of these is Snape class of course , with his help and quiet jokes he made you like it a little ,

Giggling at some old jokes Draco did through the classes you shared , you notice that you arrived to the green house .

You stood inside of the green house with Fanged Geranium sitting on the table showing her teeth in front Of you , as you hear the head of your house talking about the quality of it and how to deal with it , your eyes wondered to check on Draco .

You didn’t see him since you entered , you knew draco likes the green house , even though he would never admit it to the world , you saw the twinkle in his eyes when he is looking to the plants however he was no where in the sight ,

it is like the sky heard you or something and wanted to prove you wrong cause suddenly the door of green house opened quietly , revealing the white haired boy , walking as he bows to the older hufflepuff “oh good dear Helga ..... you are so late Mr.Malfoy !!!” “Im very knowledgeable about that Mrs sprout and I give you my apologies....” the older teacher couldn’t help but sigh “ fine , go take your plant next to Miss L/N .....please miss L/N ....update Mr. Malfoy about the topic ....For the rest , please work on your plants carefully ! I don’t wanna accidents !!! Not again !!!!! “

Even thought he looked perfectly put together , the slytherin ‘s face was looking yellowish , was he sick ? , thinking again - you never saw him yesterday at all ... was something going on ....? However you knew he didn’t like to be pressed for stuff so you just watch him as he took his place next to you ...

you give him the warmest comforting smile “ Draco good morning dear .......did you sleep well “ a nod , you get only a nod from the boy so you try to keep the conversation going “ well ... today we are assigned the plant of Fanged Geranium and we need - “ I actually know about it....... I read about it in a book before , you don’t need to waste your energy yeah? “ like that he cuts you off sharply and for some reason he seemed distance , you were weirded out by that kind of behavior but you thought maybe that is his morning attitude which eventually would disappear ...so you both continued to work in silence .

Soon the class ended , you hear Draco sigh as he walks away to his Slytherin friends , ignoring you completely which weirded you out , he never did that he would at least wave or something or make sure his hand brushed yours giving you a smirk ...his new behavior was weird ....you decided to let it to be , till it is lunch time for you both, -to give him a breath of time- , you will make sure to catch him and ask him about his act .

🌻————————🌻

Moving from class to class to class you were half done with the day ......finally Merlin ..........you were getting tired from all these classes as now you have the chance to eat for first time in the day as you skipped the frost meal in exchange of sleeping more , cause Dear Helga....... you were almost dead tired from the whole week and you needed these extra hours .

As you were running from the class , ready for the feast that will be served to your groaning stomach , you got faced by the crowded halls .

Trying to make your way through , you pumped into the slytherin prince, however before you open your mouth , he looked to you in the eyes then just walked away without of course forgetting to pump his shoulder into yours .........saying you were surprised would be underestimating .....what was this all about ...why he is being like that ....you were best friends ......well .....he was your best friend at least.......you were confused and somehow getting an anxious feelings in you Body . That you forget that you froze in mid of hallway till someone told you to move ,resulting into you falling back to the reality , shoving all bad feelings into the back of your head , you start to move to the grand hall .

You sat in the grand hall , Eating your food .......well..........trying , you don’t know what happened but somehow the food didn’t taste as amazing as you imagined or maybe you just lost your appetite, either how, you just ate the food cause your body was in desperate need of energy recharge and the least you need is to faint and let Harry do the work , he was your close friend and that wasn’t fair to anyone in first place .

While eating you glanced The Malfoy Boy , Getting up after finishing his food and going outside , you jump on your feet as fast as you can walking in hurry to catch up to him , as soon as you did , you both were in the halls . “ draco “ you called , no answer “ draco , it is rude to not answer me ! Stop being a child and talk to me “ these words made the pale boy stop in his heels and turn to face you with cold gaze “ wanna talk ? Sure let s talk then ! ”

You took a deep breath to calm your soaring Anger ...someone needed to be the grown up now “ why are you behaving like that !!! What is this all about !!!” “Oh you recall fully what is this all about ....!” You were stunned......... what did you do you? “ what do you mean?” “ well you know what ....forget it !!” “ you know you are not communicating right now !!! I wanna comprehend what is it !” “ oh if I’m not communicating well then why don’t you go to Potter, I’m sure he will fulfill this for you better !”

So this what all of this about ......... with this foolish rivalry!!!...“ draco you totally realize that he is a friend !! Yes, you both are not in best terms but he is still my friend !!” “ yes, but witch !!! being in good terms with him doesn’t mean , being flirtatiousness and snogging him in the gryfindor tower !!! “ “ you were spying on me !!!!” You were sick....you are feeling sick from how the Slytherin boy felt so entitled to spy on you , and question you !!!who does he think Himself is! “ I wasn’t spying , you were the ones who were in public“ “ but you chose to hear it!You were spying !!!” ”Well even if I did !! I was protecting you !! I DONT TRUST HIM “ “ well right now It is you who I don’t trust !!! ....this is not protection THIS YOU TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE !! IN WHAT ENTITLEMENT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN TO FEEL LIKE THAT IS YOUR RIGHT !! IM NOT SOMETHING TO BE OWNED !! I DESERVE RESPECT ! “ you quieted for a moment to take a breath from the pervious outburst before continuing “ And from this sorry .....but I don’t see that you have that for me and I don’t think I would like to be friends anymore “ Draco eyes widened at this for a second almost missing it out before his straight cold look came back “ fine as you wish “ with that he walked away , leaving you behind with tears dripping out of your eyes .

Draco rushed through the halls to reach his perfect room fast , he felt chocked by all crowds that started to fill the halls , he felt the tears already were about to come out and the last thing he needed was the whole school to witness Draco Malfoy crying about a girl that he doesn’t comprehend what he feel about her and hurt him , barely reaching the slytherin common room without breaking down . The slytherin boy shuttered the password out of his lips ,hurrying to his perfect bedroom ignoring the glances that he was getting from his house mates , locking the door as he finally let all his emotions out in the loneliness of his room not attending the rest of the day .

🌻----------------🌻

You were getting ready to meet Harry for astronomy project , trying to hold all the emotions inside, like you did for the rest of the day after the dilemma with Draco , you didn’t see him after and that was better for you , you didn’t know how will you react , you trusted him but he has no respect for you , he was acting like you are his doll not his equal .....he didn’t trust you , you felt so small and disrespected , you wanted to cry not cause of him no but cause you feel you trusted someone one who didn’t see you for who you are but saw your as object but you won’t let someone who thought like that stop your life , you looked at yourself noticing your outfit : a lacy off white blouse with lantern sleeves with Peter Pan collar . blue straight ankle length jeans and beige ankle boots ,

breathing a deep breath , you look put together and that is what you wanted , you didn't want anyone to notice your mood and the tears that slipped here and there , the last thing you need to hear ‘are you okay ‘ , cause you knew for sure these words will make you cry , and you don’t wanna to explain to Harry The Who stupidity of situation and causing more drama .

Rushing out of the warm dorm of the Hufflepuff common room to the halls as you walked fast to read the fat lady portrait praying to helga in her grave to not make you face to face with the slytherin boy , as you reach the painting you took a deep breath, Causing a look from the lady in painting , you felt for a second like you almost forgot to breath from how anxious you were till you feel a hand on your shoulder , causing you to turn , you see the brown haired boy with his famous smile as if it is contiguous you smiled without feeling “ did I make you wait for long?” “ oh no no no not at all !! I just came here ! “ “ so ummm shall we ?” You nod with a smile , the gryffindor muttered the password of the week , showing a grand hole as entrance, you both crawl inside of the Gryffindor room , taking the whole inside of you, the room was warm and cozy just missing some plants and It would be a copy of your own house room somehow that was calming .

The chosen boy was correct, not many people was there and of course Hermione was there with some Ravenclaw and Ron causing you to giggle a bit without feeling it , knowing what this was about Harry himself let an airy laugh “ yes yes you were correct ....now stop , she is giving us looks!! “ the boy whispered trying to hold his laughter , indeed the girl was giving you look like you both are crazy or something , as you both failed to hold your laughter , but it was quite humorous for some reason , some gryfindors were there with their groups but it was so few That you can count them on your fingers .

Both of you and Harry settled down close to the window , talking as you admired the stars, trying to fill the chart and waiting to see Jupiter movement “ god when the bloody hell will it show “ you couldn’t help but giggle as you hear Ron hearing him resulting to get a hit from Hermione “ he is right though Harry we have been waiting for long “ you said as you stretched your legs that almost were falling off from having them in same position for long “ “I think it will show soon ....” “ SHH it is happening !!” Hermione screamed on top of her lungs causing Ron to roll his eyes .

you watched......... memorised by the whole thing , it was marvellous thing ... all this beauty happening by nature ...nature amazed you with everything it provided and how beautifully it is done , you for sure won’t forget that ....

🌻----------------🌻

After long time of writing the essay , giggling at Ron foolishness , joking around , and helping each other in that pain in the arse assignment.... Yet it was somehow fun, painful work but fun .

later it was done ,Harry walked you to the painting and after huge back and forth, you convinced him that you would be fine going back to your room and nothing to be worried about.

you are now enjoying your walk to the hufflepuff common room , feeling the cold air and the soundlessness, cooling you, ......finally the weekend , done with the deadly assignment , sighing deeply , you realised you reached the entry , you play the rhythm to enter , ready to be welcomed by the talking plants and the warm room ,

This positivity get demolished by seeing a curtain blonde head youth sitting in front of the entry like a dog scolded by his owner , as soon as he sees you , he is quick on his feet , fixing his hair by running a hand in it

“ you are here .....y/n .....” “ ..........Malfoy ......” “ please don’t call me that ......” “ why it is your name , eh ? “ “y/n .........please......... don’t ........” you raise an eyebrow to him questionably , knowing your slient question, you see his face going from emotion to emotion to emotion as he tried to open his mouth to speak “I-I-I apologize for my foolishness and you are fully ........correct .....the way I behaved ...............childish was the way I acted ......I apologize again ......” draco sharp grey eyes was staring hard into your soul trying to read your face , try to see if you hated him or does he has any chance with your forgiveness .

You close your eyes breathing heavily for a second , you didn’t want to look into his eyes , you saw how swollen his bloody shot eyes were and he looked miserable however though some parts of you wanted to forgive the boy, you weren’t satisfied “draco .......the reason of your -“ “ I respect you ........way more than the words can tell .....and you totally deserve to know why this behavior..............it is not cause .....I don’t respect you no ..................it is cause some stupid silly emotions that let......me act like that -“ “ jealousy “

Gulping hard at the name of the emotion , Draco never felt jealous ever !! He is a Malfoy people felt jealous from him not the opposite what he wanted he got it , so this was a hard pill to swallow to him “ ...yes and had some fears.......... about potter.........and his thought about me ....resulting you .............to ........stop being with me ................. “ you held draco hands , finally realizing his feelings And for first time you see a rosiness tint on his cheeks , draco wasn’t very touching persona ....as he was so tense about it but he was used to it from you, later two years from knowing you nevertheless, he never flushed , he was accepting, awkwardly though , but no blushing , yet in his state you won’t point it out , it was already hard for him opening up and you appreciated and you wanna be comforting as you can as you try to calm his creeping anxiety . “ Draco I would never replace or leave cause someone opinion ever !! You mean so much to me !! I can’t imagine you out of my life ....you are very important and unreplaceable to me and thank you for apologising “ you say as you hug him , causing his body to go tense before warping his shaking arms around before squeezing you tightly as he bury his face in your shoulder , your run your hand in his soft messy hair as you hear him speak softly “ I discovered a new emotion also ....” “hmm ?” ..........Love..............”

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I don't know if there is going to be part two!! But I hope you all like this

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years ago

Note

You mentioned in a post that you don’t believe it was Tom’s intention to run his torture-factory/dystopian academy. Why do you think it ended up that way? Did he simply lose the capacity to care about the children at that point?

Oh god.

Why do you people ask me things that require Tolstoy novel length explanations about Tom Riddle that will still make me sound crazy by the end of it?

Let’s get to it, I suppose.

My usual Tom Riddle analysis disclaimers: we have a lot of ground to cover and little time cover it in so I’m not going to expand on every single line I drop, I will undoubtedly offend somebody if I haven’t already and if you think that might be you then you should probably move along, we’re going to have to make a lot of assumptions.

Required reading material (yes, you have asked an ask that has goddamn required reading material):

Tom Riddle’s Goal Was to Destroy the Wizarding World

Tom Riddle’s Not Crazy

Tom Riddle is Depressed and Suicidal

Voldemort is an Idea, Not a Man

You read it? For realz? For really realz? Okay, then let’s move forward.

I think it’s a bit of both.

I think by the time we get to Tom Riddle in canon, let alone Deathly Hallows, he is buried in rage, depression, and nihilism. He cares about very little anymore, is probably in constant physical pain, life is a black pit of despair, and it’s only fitting that somewhere out there the children are suffering too.

Now that said, I do think he never intended for Hogwarts to become the way it did and did put in fairly reasonable efforts so that it would not. It did anyway. Why do I think that?

He left most of the staff, key staff members at that and known resistance members, untouched and in their posts

He put Severus Snape, of all Death Eaters, in charge of the school

He turned a blind eye to the active student rebellion of nearly half the school’s population

He did not remove the children of known resistance members from the castle and make them hostages

The battle of Hogwarts

The Staff

It’s very telling to me that there is little to no turnover of the staff. Yes, we get the Carrows for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Malfoy gets to be a hall monitor on steroids, but all the original faculty remains and most retain their full original positions.

Minerva McGonagall, who is a known Order member, is allowed to retain her position as Transfiguration professor even when she actively aids and engages in the student led rebellion at the school. Hell, she actively spies on Hogwarts’ inner workings and reports back to the Order, and Tom lets her get away with this.

Despite Tom’s destroying the sorting hat, which I actually fully agree with as I think that thing actively causes major rifts in wizarding society, he actually doesn’t want to rock the boat and in this wants education to continue in much the same manner as before he took power.

He Leaves Snape in Charge

Snape is by far the most level headed Death Eater and actually has experience as a professor, seems to handle children well enough, and has existing relationships with the Hogwarts faculty. If anyone was supposed to get Hogwarts working under the new regime and keep everything in check, then it’s this guy.

I imagine Tom thought Snape could easily handle this. Snape can’t handle this.

Unfortunately, Tom trusted Snape to be competent. Snape chose not to be competent, or rather, I’m sure he had no idea what the fuck Tom wanted from him. I think, for all Snape managed to evade detection, he really has no idea how Tom Riddle works, mostly because all he sees of the man is the ridiculous show that is Voldemort. Based on that, Tom Riddle expects the castle to be in ruins by the year’s end, and Snape delivers the best appearance of this he can while actively turning a blind eye to student rebellion.

In other words, Snape went with his best guess of chaos and despair, which was a good guess.

So Snape sits there as Headmaster, the faculty refuses to interact with him, the hired on Death Eater faculty don’t listen to him and he can’t quite tell them off for torturing the children, because he’s pretty sure that’s what Tom wants and the whole thing spirals out of control until the children are actually arming themselves and Tom Riddle has to actually invade Hogwarts.

He has to invade a school, cutting down children, because Snape could not do his job.

Tom Turned a Blind Eye to Student Rebellion

Remember Dumbledore’s Army and how quickly they were found out? These kids are not being at all secretive. They’re having meetings that both Snape and McGonagall are aware of (both doing their best to hide it), we know that eventually Draco the Hall Monitor finds out about it, and it’s clear that there are key active instigators in Hogwarts.

They then actually barricade themselves in a room and refuse to leave, arming themselves for “the rebellion”.

Tom does nothing.

Oh, sure, the people inside the castle do things but Tom never instructs them to stake out Hogsmeade (where they must be getting supplies), to start pulling out the big guns and threatening their specific families, or anything more.

I think this shows Tom was willing to let a lot go, he just couldn’t let go actual open rebellion or the reemergence of Harry Potter the messiah figure rallying the troops.

Where Are the Hostages?

Tom Riddle knows the entire Weasley family are very strong members of the Order of the Phoenix. He knows early in that Neville Longbottom is instigating rebellion within Hogwarts.

Ginny is not immediately taken from Hogwarts, she is, in fact, sent on her merry way and seems to do just fine for months even when her brothers are writing “U No Poo” on their store windows (and indeed, Fred and George suffer nothing for that either).

Neville, while he does eventually go into hiding, is able to act on his own for months as a known close friend of Harry Potter’s and is never taken hostage.

To me it seems very clear that Tom Riddle really does want to leave the kids alone and as undisturbed as he reasonably can given the circumstances.

The Battle of Hogwarts: The Timeout

Tom is eventually forced to invade Hogwarts. His enemies are school children and the teachers who think it’s a brilliant idea to send said school children into battle (it’s the Dumbledore way!)

It’s a slaughter house.

As Harry’s running around like a lunatic he glimpses children being murdered and grievously injured left and right. The Death Eaters are not suffering nealry as collosol damages.

And yet, despite this, Tom calls for a timeout.

He gives a very weird speech, in which he’s giving them an hour reprieve (HINT HINT, WINK WINK) in which they are to deliver him Harry Potter. At which point the battle will be over and they can all go home.

Tom had the advantage, had he cared nothing for the children or actively wanted to put them down, he could have easily done so and captured Harry Potter. Instead, he takes the world’s weirdest timeout, making a very loud announcement about his timeout, likely in the hopes that the children would take the hint and get the hell out of the castle.

No one gets the hint.

Instead, Harry Potter shows up ready to be murdered. Tom will take it, murders Harry, carries his corpse into Hogwarts saying, “YOUR HERO IS DEAD, DESPAIR, NOW PLEASE LEAVE SO I CAN STOP MURDERING ALL OF YOU.”

Harry then springs to life, “GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! I’M NOT DEAD, YOU CAN CONTINUE MURDERING ALL OF US!”

Tom dies inside, then per my earlier post, runs into an arrow and dies for realz.

TL;DR Tom Riddle’s life is a joke in which he unintentionally ends up murdering the children

#ask #anon #harry potter

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happy-littleblog · 5 years ago

Note

Can you do a snape x student!reader where they have a father/daughter bond because Sirius is her real father and she just connected to snape for some reason. She’s in year 4 and it takes place when their at the whomping willow and he has to hold her back from chasing after Sirius and he comforts her. Can Sirius maybe wake up in the hospital wing and the reader is sleeping in a chair next to him and snape is there and Sirius thanks snape for taking care of his daughter

Love and Forgiveness (Severus Snape x Platonic!Reader)

Summery: Because Y/n didn’t have her father around growing up she connected with Severus Snape and made a father/daughter bond with the man coming to him whenever she needs anything. Once Sirius name is cleared he can finally thank Severus for taking care of his daughter when he couldn’t.

Warnings: death.

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Ever since her first year Y/n had a weird father/daughter relationship with her potions Professor Severus snaps, manly because her own father was in Azkaban for killing his friends and she grew up in a muggle orphanage since her mother had passed on not a month after Sirius was sent away do to a deatheater attack.

So while she was at hogwarts Severus took on the rule as her father figure, much to the other teachers surprise, even time she was sent to the hospital wing he was right by her side until he new she was alright.

In her 4th year she learned of her fathers escape from Azkaban and immediately went to snape with her concerns.

“What if come to hurt me? What if he hurts Harry? I-I don’t think he will but that’s what everyone else is thinking.” She sobbedinto his teaching robes.

“I won’t let him get the chance to hurt you Y/n.”

“You promise?”

“Yes I promise, now I’ll walk you back to the common room so you can get some rest.”

Everyone knew who her family was, I mean her last name was Black so it was hard to hide the fact that Sirius was her father. Making the rest of the year for her was tense, no one trusted her thinking she was helping her father but in reality she hadn’t had any contact with him in her whole life.

Up until she found herself at the womping willow with her friends Harry, Hermione and Ron who got himself dragged into the passage way under the tree leading to the shrinking shack

Once inside the old creepy house is when she first met her father.

Sirius Black. Who was looking rather filthy and creepy like the old house they where in.

But as soon as he saw his daughter his eyes softened and a smile appeared on his face

“Y/n. My babygirl. You look just like your mother.” He said trying to go in for hug but was stopped by Harry who had his wand pointed at him pushing Y/n behind him in order to keep her safe.

Thankfully not long after everything was resolved, they had got Peter and were going to turn him in and clear Sirius’ name so they could finally be a family again.

“You do look very much like you mother.” He said as they walked to the entrance of the tunnel causing a deafening silence.

This is the first time meeting her father and she didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry.” He said out of the blue.

“For what?”

“Leaving you, I knew I shouldn’t have gone after Peter, I knew it but I was just so angry. Then I wasn’t there to protect your mother, you grew up all alone.” She could tell he was holding back tears, his voice broke with every word.

“I wasn’t to alone.” She said with a soft smile. “Once I came to hogwarts I got put into Slytherin and met Professor Snape he took care of me.”

“Snivellus?” She nodded

“Yeah, he’s nice if he likes you.”

“Well he most certainly doesn’t like me sweetheart. I did a lot of shitty things in the past.” He pauses for a second before starting again. “Listen I need to talk to you Y/n, after this school year I want you and Harry to come live with me. I don’t think Harry wants to stay with her aunt and uncle and I’m very sure you don’t want to go back to that orphanage, do you?”

“I-I would love that!”

“Really!”

“Yes really!” Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck holding his tightly.

“I promise you, I’ll take great care of you. I’m never leaving you again.”

As he said that he saw the full moon quickly looking over at Remus who was also staring up at the moon with wide eyes his mouth open preparing himself to turn into a werewolf.

“Stay behind me.” Severus said holding Y/n behind him as well as Ron, Harry, and Hermione.

Quickly Remus turned and followed Sirius into the forest, soon followed by Harry and Hermione.

Y/n tried to follow but was stopped by Severus holding her back.

“I need to help them!”She said trying to pull away.

“They‘ll be fine, we need to get you both back to the castle so you both don’t get hurt.”

“I don’t wanna lose my dad again!”

“He’ll be alright Y/n, you need to calm down. Sirius wouldn’t want you to be running after him into a forest while a werewolf is in there!”

Reluctantly she followed Snape and Ron back to castle praying her fitness and her father where safe.

That night ended with Y/n sitting by her dads bedside with Severus right by her side.

Peter has been turned into the dementors clearing Sirius name so Y/n and Harry could now live with him.

He finally could have his family back to normal.

“I want to thank you.” Sirius said as he woke up.

“For what?”

“Taking care of her, when I couldn’t.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“She talks highly of you.”

“Not really an accomplishment, she talks highly of everyone.”

“A trait she got from her mother, no doubt.”

Thick awkwardly silence followed that, they were enemies when they went to hogwarts together, but now were brought to together by the protectiveness and love they shared for Y/n.

“You have a good daughter Sirius.”

“I know, I can’t wait to get to know her more. I’ve missed so much.” He shook his head remembering the day she was born, he was crying as he held his daughter for the first time.

She was so little back then, now she was all grown up and it broke his heart.

“Well I can tell you, her favorite color is f/c, she’s a very intelligent Slytherin. She doesn’t think poorly of you either, even if she didn’t know you she preached all about how you were innocent. She loves everyone to no end honestly I’m surprised she not a Hufflepuff. She can only see the good in people. She is like the child I never had, I love her like she was my own.”

“I do hope we can move on what happened in that past Severus. I was a stupid kid.” Severus nodded moving some hair out his Y/n’s face

“I forgive you Sirius.”

#sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #x reader #imagine #severus snape x y/n #severus snape x you #severus snape imagine #severus snape x reader #platonic reader #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #request are open #request please #request

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another-snape-story · 5 years ago

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Some Things Need Treatment

Chapter XVI

“Eyes still a little swollen,” Snape smiled softly, once he met you at your door. Being the first person he saw in the morning, you filled him with strength and desire to make it through the day.

“And you’re still limping,” you answered sympathetically, shyly hiding your face.

“Last night left unpleasant reminders,” he agreed.

He was right. But these would vanish soon, while something more important would remain indelible. This was the price you payed to find out the man you so much cared for cared for you no less. After the long midnight talk you still didn’t know much about each other, but connection between the two of you got stronger. None of you was perfect – you both had dark spots in your past, but nothing of that mattered, unless your hearts were capable of remorse and compassion.

“But I like the way it ended, anyway,” you looked up at him, hoping he was the same opinion. Although his glance fled far ahead, the corner of his mouth slightly leapt up. “Thank you, Snape...”

“You know my name, don’t you?” His tone lacking in expressiveness was back again, and sarcastic arch of an eyebrow so typical of him. With this, you felt the remnants of strain and tension which still nested inside swiftly and lightly flit away.

“I think so,” you chirped playfully.

“Maybe it’s time to finally start using it? Just an assumption.”

“Highest time! But I like calling you Snape,” you teased, and he rolled his eyes.

“How’s your leg? Hurts too bad?” So discomposed you were the day before – you didn’t ask him if he was all right. Even he himself forgot about this minor inconvenience.

“I can bear it.”

“You’d better visit Poppy,” you insisted, seeing how much pain it actually caused him.

“I’m fine, I’m telling you!” Snape groaned displeased. “Besides, I’d prefer keeping it undisclosed.”

“Oh I see! You want me to help you with it,” you giggled.

“What?” he frowned. “NO!”

“Ugh! Come on! I won’t faint seeing your wound!” you puckered, jokingly moving fingers before your face in a sinister manner, as if it was one of the most terrible things in the world.

Snape coughed. “I don’t like the way this conversation unfolds.” He looked embarrassed, which highly amused you.

“Severus… You need treatment!” through with fooling around, you suddenly got serious again. “I mean it! I have some really good remedies…”

“I am a Potions master. Do you believe I can’t make one myself?” Although his expression suggested nothing bur annoyance, Snape’s heart melted at the sound of his name coming from you.

“Please?” you didn’t take your pleading glance off him, and resolute, adamant, menacing Potions Professor had to give up.

You spent the whole day – apart from classes you regrettably couldn’t skip due to being a teacher – brewing an improved Wound-Cleaning Potion by your own recipe, which you hoped Snape would not only appreciate as a token of your attention, but also asses it from professional point of view. Making something for him was extremely enjoyable – beside all your efforts, you seemed to put a grain of your soul into this process.

It was late in the evening when you set off your office right to the dungeons, a vial with purple liquid in your hand. You haven’t seen him for too long and were impatient to finally meet him.

“POTTER! GET OUT! OUT!” you heard familiar voice thunder through the hallway, which – unlike its usual measured tone – now seemed to reach the highest point of irritation.

Luckily, it happened when you were about to go downstairs, and therefore saved you from roaming the castle in search for your colleague so dreadfully stern-looking, but really kind and understanding. Smiling to yourself, you headed for the source of the sound.

Meeting Harry sprinting back to the stairs was no surprise.

“What are you doing here?” you stopped the boy, who looked at you wide-eyed.

“Just wanted my Quidditch Through the Ages back,” he explained, short of breath.

“Immediately return to your dorm,” you railed strictly, “it’s too late for reading!” but tumbling to the reason he needed this very book before the upcoming match added leniently:

“Moreover, what you might find there won’t considerably affect your performance during the game, while the lack of sleep definitely will.”

The boy beamed, eventually finding your argument convincing and wishing you good night hurried away.

“Thank you Filch, I’ll handle it myself,” Snape was saying, when you stepped into the staff room.

“Professors,” pressing crumpled blood-stained fabric to his chest, the old caretaker bowed slightly and left.

You understood at once what he and Filch were doing here. You didn’t feel hurt Snape rejected your help, but accepted his. You were even glad this procedure escaped your intervention. Not that you found it repugnant, of course not! – you only wished to refrain him form any kind of distressing experience.

“Is everything all right? You missed dinner.” Snape awkwardly adjusted his frock-coat.

“Oh, did I? Lost the track of time working on this,” with a proud smile you handed him the vial. “Don’t worry, I’m not insisting you use it right now,” your voice so soft and somehow reassuring.

“What a relief,” he grunted not without sarcasm, taking a closer look of the bottle’s content. Internally Snape was deeply touched by your kind gesture. Used to being neglected his whole life, he found it hard to believe that someone might care for him, and even harder to express his gratitude. On the other hand, the man hated showing his weakness, he hated even thinking of it, thus your excessive attention to his wounded leg made him feel a little uncomfortable – really uncomfortable – no less grateful though. The prisoner of this highly embarrassing situation, as he would classify it, Snape let his defensive habit take over.

“You’re welcome,” you flopped on the sofa, expecting him to join you, what he leisurely did.

“Thank you,” he uttered quietly after a short pause.

Your hand landed on the furrowed cord cushion, unconsciously shortening the distance between the two of you. “Don’t mention…”

“How are you?” The question bothered Snape the whole day. “Feeling better?”

“I guess,” you sighed. “But I’m still thinking... If it were not for me…”

Snape’s hand found yours. “What is done – is done. You can’t change it. But you shouldn’t feel responsible for everything that happens in the world you can’t change!” He leaned back, looking at the ceiling, yet his mind travelled somewhere miles away. “The guilt,” he spat, hating the anguished experience standing behind a short simple term. “It will eat on you. Destroying you slowly. Mercilessly. Unless there’s nothing left but an indifferent, apathetic carcass.” His fingers tensed as he spoke the last words.

He was far from being indifferent, you could tell. What he had to go through? Poor, poor man. Hiding his pain, he convinced himself he was incapable of having feelings, but you can’t fool one’s heart. The whole time you’ve been here, you tried to perceive why he appeared so distant, so cold and reserved, why he showed no particular interest or concern about his surrounding, but now you seemed to find the answer.

You wished you could help him, just as he did the night before, take the burden off his shoulders, relieve his heart. But was there any chance he would accept it? No way, you knew it for sure.

“Let’s get drunk,” you suggested ardently, shoving all the troubles aside for a while.

What Snape truly appreciated, that you’ve never pressured him, trying to fish out what was his bother. He couldn’t explain how you’ve always managed to make him feel better with just one phrase, which, however, fitted the situation surprisingly perfect.

He turned his head towards you, a subtle smile on his lips.

“I have a bottle of firewhiskey in my chambers,” you put a convincing argument into his consideration, before he could say something.

“Do you realize you’ve just invited me to your private quarters?” his eyebrow gave a leap.

“I just said there’s a bottle in my quarters, and we’re drinking in your office,” you stated cheekily, “because mine lays in the other part of the castle. Come on!” You started up to your feet, pulling his hand.

Was it inappropriate? Was it wrong? Snape didn’t give a damn. He just trusted himself to your will, wishing to stay with you the longer he could, without thinking of the consequences. Without thinking of anything else.

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theschizoidblog · 5 years ago

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Snape, the Schizoid

Blog 4: 30/07/2020

While I usually write about how Schizoid personality disorder affects me, I think there’s a lot to be learned from drawing comparisons to fictional characters. In fact, before I got my diagnosis, I was writing fanfiction in which I poured very large portions of my soul and very being, often without realizing I wasn’t really writing about other characters, but I was exploring my own inner self. I loved writing about outcasts, about recluses and sometimes I didn’t know if I just was in a sort of love with the characters I wrote about, or if they were me.

At the age of 18, we’re talking about 2001 here, I got into Harry Potter. And with that I mean: I got into Severus Snape. Described as an ugly git and a mean bastard, I still loved him to pieces. (And Alan Rickman portrayed him beautifully, RIP)

And here might be the reason why he lured me in straight away: Snape is a schizoid, like me. And that only clicked when I got my diagnosis a few months ago. 19 years after first encountering the character. And after rereading some of my own fanfictions, I started realizing that what I’d described as Snape’s problems and needs in those stories, were my own. Strange how that works!

In this blog, I’m going to run over some traits of SPD (schizoid personality disorder) and explain how Snape fits into the criteria.

This post serves three purposes:

To people who have no idea what schizoid personality disorder is, this is a means to familiarize yourself with the disorder by exploring the traits while you imagine a character you already know.

To people with schizoid personality disorder, this is just meant to be a fun little blog where maybe you can recognize some traits of yourself. No worries, I have not forgotten we’re all on a spectrum and each schizoid is different.

To fans of the Harry Potter novels, I hope that you come to realize that people can identify with flawed characters for very personal reasons. Don’t be mean to fictional characters (unless they’re Umbridge I guess XD), because you never know who identifies with them. Your rejection of a character can feel like the rejection of a person who struggles with the same things. Anti-culture, in all fandoms, has to end. It’s not adult. It’s not wise. It’s mean. It’s exhausting.

I also feel like I need to make a statement about JK Rowling’s intent: I doubt she knew what SPD was when she wrote Snape. She said she based him off of one of her old teachers – no idea if that man had SPD or was just generally unpleasant. The way that Snape matches SPD is eerie though, just like Luna matches schizotypal personality disorder rather well. (More on that later.) An actual psychologist might disagree with me and say “No he’s not schizoid because….” – and hell, I’d love to hear it. I don’t mind it if this post, written by a schizoid but not a psychologist, starts a discussion that will help people understand the disorder even better, even if I’m wrong in assessing Snape. Or if we can learn to understand Snape better because of me being wrong, that’s also a win-win situation.

Ready? Let’s dive into it!

Cause

SPD is said to be caused by a combination of genetics and environment – as is the case with many other personality disorders. But ask around in schizoid groups, and most will tell you that there were issues in childhood with abuse, lack of warmth or understanding at home, or the presence of a “bad parent”. According to webmd: “Some professionals speculate that a bleak childhood where warmth and emotion were absent contributes to the development of the disorder.”

We all know that Snape’s early childhood was not a happy one. He had an abusive muggle father and grew up at Spinner’s End, the opposite of what you could consider a happy childhood home.

When you grow up in a loveless home, it ruins a lot of your own enjoyment of life. You get trust issues, you become awkward, and so when Snape finally arrives at Hogwarts, he gets bullied. He’s already rather isolated (he only had Lily), and they picked on him because kids can sniff out weaknesses and he was an easy target.

The bullying did nothing to stop the disorder from developing further. Many schizoids have gone through bullying themselves, and it does nothing to help you grow closer to human beings as you get older, quite the opposite, a bond of trust is broken and it’s incredibly hard to heal that. You’ll be suspicious of everyone you meet once that sort of thing happens. The more bullying you receive, the more you hate the world as you grow up. Maybe that’s not true for all people or all schizoids, but I bet some can relate.

You might say: “But Harry also got bullied at the Dursleys and he turned out fine!” Well, I guess he did. That’s the thing with many heroes – their tragic backstories make them poster boys of “look what they overcame and how he saved the world!” – but it’s not that realistic, and if you’ve got a genetic predisposition to develop a personality disorder instead, you’re screwed. Let’s also not forget that Harry’s first year in life was a very loving one. The very first year in a child’s life is crucial, and if things go wrong in early childhood, that leaves scars that most people carry with them for the rest of their lives. Snape never had that steady sort of home, not even for one year, or if he did, there’s nothing to indicate he did.

Diagnosis Criteria

Okay, time to get digging! According to the DSM-V, you need to display at least four symptoms in order to be diagnosed with SPD. Also keep in mind that these traits need to be present for longer than just a few months or a year or so. You might recognize some of these traits as something you’ve gone through yourself if you’ve ever been depressed – it’s when these traits last for what seems like your entire adult life, that a diagnosis with the disorder can be made. (I’m also not familiar with every other trait of every other disorder in the DSM-V, so as I stated in the beginning, it’s possible that other personality disorders are even more fitting of Snape, but that I just don’t know them yet.)

The seven criteria are:

Lack of desire or enjoyment for close personal relationships

Always chooses solitary activities

Little or no interest in sex with other people

Experiences little pleasure from activities

No close friends other than immediate family

Indifference to criticism or praise

Emotional detachment and lack of emotional expression

➤ Emotional detachment and lack of emotional expression

While this is usually at the bottom of the list, I want to put it on top. This is what they also call “flat affect”. You can give us a present, and it might seem like we’re not truly grateful. We may laugh with a joke, but the light never reaches our eyes. Emotionally, it doesn’t seem to an outsider like there’s a lot going on, and if it is, it’s going on so deeply within our souls we’re hardly aware of it ourselves. Think of Snape’s monotonous voice when talking. Now Alan Rickman is a brilliant actor and emotes with very very small signs sometimes, and it’s not like when talking to me, you’re talking to a wall. (But my empathic mask makes me appear rather normal to most folks.) (I don’t think Snape has a mask like that.) Other characters that have schizoid traits are, for example, Mai from Avatar the Last Airbender or Geralt of Rivia from the Witcher. If you know and visualize these characters, you may understand better what I mean with the “lack of emotional expression” then. Also, Snape being a great Occlumens? It’s because he’s the reigning champion in suppressing his emotions, like all schizoids are. We would make wonderful Occlumens, I think. XD Snape being mean? Not all schizoids have a good amount of empathy, they’re too emotionally detached for that. (Others are very empathic to some causes, but might be picky in what they are empathic about. For example: they can be empathic towards animal cruelty and Black Lives Matter, but don’t give a shit about other causes.)

A lack of empathy is what makes plenty of people an easy prey to fascists. Without empathy, what moral compass is going to stop you from becoming a bigot? (And I also want to state that within the disorder you’ll probably find people of all political leanings – many schizoids also seem to have a thing for the underdog, and thus seem to often lean towards the left instead of the right side of the political spectrum. But as with ‘regular’ people, you’ll find people swing both ways.) But here, in Snape’s case, his hatred for his bullies and his father (a muggle) pushed him right into the Death Eater’s arms, and they were glad to welcome a man of his skill, maybe even giving him the illusion, for a while, that he had found a new family. It didn’t last, and eventually his eyes opened to what the Death Eater’s really were. He was too young and naïve to see what they wanted of him (and the one person he loved), and it basically ruined his life. He was a teenage fool, and after losing Lily’s friendship, he had no one left to keep him out of that bad group of friends.

➤ Lack of desire or enjoyment for close personal relationships

Does Snape strike you as the social type that’s trying to make new friends all the time? Have you ever seen the man enjoy the company of another character in the books? Not just tolerate, not just need, but ‘enjoy’? Even when it comes to Lucius or Karkarov, it seems he is just keeping an eye on them, observing them rather than offering true friendship.

Maybe McGonagall might be an exception. He seems amiable towards her, in a competitive way. He might get a kick out of their arguing. She’s certainly an intelligent woman so he might enjoy her company for intellectual reasons.

➤ Always chooses solitary activities

We see Snape engage in a few activities at Hogwarts, such as going to Quidditch matches, or being present at the Yule Ball. Death Eater meetings and gatherings in the staff room might be social activities, but let’s not pretend Snape has a lot to say about whether he attends those or not. As a teen he already excels at potions, a solitary activity, and when we are given a glimpse of his “summer” lifestyle at Spinner’s End in Half-Blood Prince, he’s just reading. He certainly doesn’t entertain a crowd in his spare time, like, for example, Slughorn does.

➤ Little or no interest in sex with other people

I hear you coming now. “BUT LILY!” Schizoids are often asexual, but not necessarily sex-aversive. When asking around in a schizoid group, about a third of the schizoids seem to be in relationships or are even married, perhaps even more. And many of the others have had sexual relationships in the past. Many have tried to make relationships work, only to realize at a later point that that sort of life was not for them and that they would never be truly happy in a relationship. Other schizoids are happy in relationships – so it exists! It’s not impossible! (Remember: you need 4/7 traits, not 7/7 to be schizoid.) Also keep in mind, if Snape really was interested in sex, why would he pine after a dead woman for 16 years? He’d be over her way sooner and into someone else’s pants way sooner too. Lily was the first person in his life that gave him any kind of warmth, so him pining after her is not strange or inexplicable behavior. She offered what he craved, what he lacked, and he mourned her for the rest of his life, because he feared no one would ever give him that warmth. (And he kind of turned that into a self-fulfilling prophecy by being such a recluse.) He dreamed of love, but we have no idea what it would have been like had he actually ever had his affections returned. Maybe he’d have enjoyed a relationship with her for a long while and she would have been the only person he could have tolerated, or maybe after a year or so he would have thought “this is suffocating” and ended the relationship.

➤ Experiences little pleasure from activities

Can you recall Snape laughing in any scene? Smiling, even? I can imagine him to feel rather content when brewing potions or studying the dark arts, and he does have passion for what he does. But to a schizoid, passion and pleasure are not necessarily the same. We experience emotions differently. In some ways we don’t experience them at all, in other ways, we might feel like there’s a wall around our emotions, and we have no idea how to get over that wall and check what the currently active emotion is. But with logic, we can determine “I guess I’m happy now that I’m doing this thing I like doing.” Intellectual pursuits are fun too – like solving a puzzle, it gives a little boost of dopamine when you make it to the next level, so it’s not surprising he excels at Potions.

➤ No close friends other than immediate family

Basically, Snape only really had Dumbledore, and that bastard only used him to win the war. (I have beef with old Dumbledore, okay?) But Snape confided in Dumbledore, and the other way around, and so I think it’s safe to say that there was a true friendship between the two. When Dumbledore died, Snape was truly alone. (Which is incredibly tragic and heartbreaking when you think about it – in the last year of his life, Snape had no one, really no one, as he tried to keep Hogwarts ‘safe’ and eventually died. And everyone hated him for killing Dumbledore, not knowing the truth about his allegiance. Everyone who had once spoken kindly to him, like the other professors at Hogwarts, now considered him arch enemy #2, behind Voldemort.)

➤ Indifference to criticism or praise

Compliment or insult a schizoid, and it’s not like they won’t give any response at all. They might say “thank you” or they might get a little defensive about the insult, but they won’t always lose a lot of sleep over it. It kind of depends on who the praise or criticism is coming from. I can imagine that it did mean something to him if it came from Dumbledore, whom he cared about. I don’t think it meant anything to him what his students thought of him, since he didn’t give a personal level of shit about them. There’s also a moment where Umbridge shrieks “You are on probation!” and it’s described as “Snape looked back at her, his eyebrows slightly raised.” Then she says that she expected better after how highly Lucius Malfoy always speaks of him and she dismisses him. Snape then gives her “an ironic bow” – he really doesn’t give a rat’s ass and I love him for it.

These are the 7 criteria that you need to fit 4 of to be diagnosed with SPD – I managed to link all 7 to Snape – so I think it’s not unlikely that Snape is truly a schizoid. Now, for the next part I would like to highlight some other comorbidities which many schizoids also have, that seem to appear in Snape as well.

Comorbidities

➤ Depression In about half of all schizoid patients, depression is or has been present. How do you notice that in Snape? The greasy hair, among other things. Bad teeth. Always wearing the same outfit. If you’ve ever suffered from a bad depression, you know how difficult it suddenly becomes to shower at a regular interval, how you can go days without brushing your teeth, how wearing comfortable clothing is more important than looking fashionable – how it is absolutely meaningless to look fashionable because who the fuck cares anyways. Snape doesn’t seem to give a hoot about himself or his appearance, which strikes me as a sign of depression. And what does he have to be happy about? He knows Voldemort is going to return and he’ll have a cursed job as a double-spy. He knows he’s probably going to die. I wouldn’t be happy either.

➤ Anger Outbursts/PTSD Not all schizoids have this, but it’s something I have myself and which I’ve written about extensively in one of my previous blog posts. I look at it as a way of my inner self breaking down the walls and coming out to say “I know that I’ve been quiet for the past 37 years but what the fuck I’m really angry about this and have been for a while and I’m not going to contain it any longer” – and then the anger comes out disproportionately. It’s hard to impossible to really control such an outburst. And often, there is a very obvious cause to the outburst. Sometimes it’s PTSD related. For Snape, while he does not emote often, you see a few outbursts – like when he is face to face with Sirius Black in the shrieking shack, his childhood bully. He seems mad at that moment, not at all composed anymore, the sign of a real anger outburst. (I think it’s PTSD helping that anger build.) A few moments later, he thinks he has turned in Sirius Black to the Ministry, Sirius, who he holds responsible for the death of James and Lily (and it’s especially the latter’s death he can’t cope with), so when Sirius escapes, he loses it again. Then the next time he gets really angry is when Harry enters his “worst memory”. That’s a few years later, during the Occlumency lessons. While he’s no longer shrieking, he’s white with rage. My pro tip: don’t impose on the privacy of a schizoid, we get mad. XD In Half-Blood Prince, he’s got a moment where he’s like “Don’t call me coward!”, looking ‘inhuman’. I too can get anger outbursts over false accusations, and this one must really hurt, because at that moment, he’s trying to save Harry’s freaking life while the boy is all like “lemme at you I’mma kill you like you killed Dumbledore for fun!” – Snape was probably grieving the loss of his only friend and confidant and knew he was on his own from that point onwards, and then you get this bloody teenager trying to drag you into a wizard’s duel you’re not in the mood for, calling you a coward, which is the last thing you are. Man it has to suck to be Snape. I also want to state that there are many moments when things go wrong in class, but Snape never loses his temper like that. He’s not pleasant and he punishes students, but he doesn’t get mad – he gets even. That makes it all the more interesting to analyze the moments that he does go bananas.

Random Thoughts

Before I finish this blog, there are still a few small things I’d like to get out of my system about Snape and SPD.

➤ Snape and Luna

They are my favorite characters, but also because they’re very, very alike and very, very different at the same time. Both didn’t have a great childhood (Luna lost her mother at a young age) and they get bullied as kids at Hogwarts. Snape is called Snivellus and Luna is called Looney. All the suffering they endure, affects them differently though. Snape gets meaner, Luna only seems to get nicer. I see them as two sides of the same coin. One dark, one light, both a little eccentric in their own way. When you look at it from a personality-disorder point of view, then they both have personality disorders that are related to one another. Snape has Schizoid Personality Disorder, Luna has Schizotypal Personality Disorder. Schizotypal Personality Disorder is where you’ll find a lot of eccentric people who believe in conspiracy theories. Both are class A personality disorders. Some people might even have the two personality disorders at the same time. Schizoids seem to be rooted in reality with their thoughts, schizotypals can really start believing strange things if they’re not careful, alienating them from others And, in case you’re now wondering: “So many schizo-personality disorders! Is this also schizophrenia?” No – schizophrenia is when you have delusions and hallucinations as well. Read up on those disorders if you’re interested, because these descriptions of mine are too brief and don’t do it justice.

➤ Snape was a bad teacher

Not fully, and yes, he was. I think knowledge-wise, Snape was way better at Potions than Slughorn ever was. You notice when Hermione can’t keep up in her sixth year while Harry is sailing through Potions thanks to Snape’s book. Snape’s a genius and would have been able to instruct his students to be more efficient when brewing potions. But personality wise? Don’t put a schizoid in front of a classroom. And for that, I kind of blame Dumbledore. Snape wasn’t asking for a job as a teacher, but that’s all Dumbledore had to offer, and thus he put Snape and his unwilling students in a room together where none of them wanted to be. I think Snape would have been better off as some kind of a scientist, just him and his books, inventing spells or potions. But he was not given much of a choice, and he was forced to socialize with teenagers (ew, gross), and that must have drained him terribly. It’s a wonder he was usually roaming the hallways at night because I would have been too exhausted to get out of bed. That makes you realize it’s truly a work of fiction because who on earth has that kind of stamina? :-P (No, in all seriousness it’s probably also depression at work, keeping him up.) Snape was a jerk to Harry and Neville and Hermione on various occasions, and not all of it was to “keep up appearances” to the Slytherins. He seemed to even enjoy a bit of sadism here and there. You could contemplate why he poisoned Neville’s toad. Was it just to spite poor little Neville, or was he hoping his student would perform better under pressure? (Which Neville did.. The toad didn’t die.) It’s a cruel way to teach a lesson, but I think he must have thought the end justified the means. But what a traumatic experience to Neville, who then had Snape become his greatest fear.

➤ Purity culture vs Snape

We’ve seen a shift on both Tumblr and other social media where fandom is about purity culture. Back in 2002 folks were like “We love the baddies, deal with it”, and the people that didn’t love the baddies actually dealt with it and you could joke with people who preferred the Gryffindors and just poke a little fun at one another, but it was fun fandom. But over the years I’ve seen fandom change. Nowadays you can’t even express love for Snape without someone seeing it as their moral obligation to remind you of what a “bad person he really was”. To them I can only say that I like him for his best qualities, and forgive him for his worst. And honestly, I don’t need to justify liking a character to anyone. If I want to put Umbridge-posters in every room of my apartment, are you going to stop me or call the cops on me? Purity policing is weird. Very American, too. (Though I’ve seen some Dutch folks go apeshit as well over purity concepts.) And as a Belgian I don’t have time to put up with that shit. XD And purity policing also is just nasty when you consider that some folks are like “I relate to this character” and the next person is like “THIS CHARACTER IS EVIL AND DESERVES TO DIE!” My response to that part of fandom is: “Just fuck off already, jerkface.” Personally I was heartbroken by his death, because I feel like he could have made up to the people he’d hurt, I would have loved to see relationships mended between him and McGonagall and him and Harry and such, but instead we were left with him passing on some awkward memories to Harry and then dying. (Tbh I’m not the greatest fan of his crush on Lily, but whatever, I can accept it and understand it. She was the only light he ever knew.) It’s not his fault he didn’t get to redeem himself as a character, not fully - and that’s what makes fanfiction fun. So if people want to explore that in fic, let them. A character like Snape is too much of a treasure to shove under a carpet and pretend he never existed. Write all the things about him, have him have all the adventures!

I think I’m done now! If you stuck around until now, 10 points to Slytherin or whatever house you’re from. (Probably Slytherin if you’re reading about Snape.) What do you think? Feel free to leave a comment, send an ask, or whatever!

#severus snape #snape #pro snape #schizoid #schizoid personality disorder #blog

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noona-clock · 5 years ago

Text

A Familiar Face ✨🏰

Harry Potter au with Eric Nam?!?!? 😉

YAAAAAS, @trishmarieco! YAS! Thank you!!!! This isn’t Halloween-themed at all, but I got an idea in my head, and I just went for it!

Genre: Harry Potter!AU

Pairing: Eric Nam x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4 | Words: 3,912

Oh, no.

Almost immediately upon setting foot in the staffroom at Hogwarts, you saw him. And you froze.

What was he doing here?

I mean, presumably, he was sitting in the staffroom talking to Professor Longbottom because he, himself, was a professor. Why else would he be here?

But... really?

Eric Nam, the most popular Gryffindor of your year, a professor? At Hogwarts? Not some high-falutin’ Auror or a well-known broadcaster for the Wizarding Wireless Network or... well, something with a bit more status than a mere teacher?

And then you heard quite the impatient ahem behind you before a voice next to your shoulder made you jump: “Isn’t it a bit early for pranks, Ms. Y/L/N?”

Your heart skipped a beat as you turned, your wide eyes landing on Headmistress McGonagall. “P--pardon, Headmistress?” you stammered.

“No students have even arrived and yet someone seems to have transfigured your feet into blocks of concrete,” she said in that tone of hers. You know the tone. The tone which made you wonder if she was annoyed or amused. ...Or both.

Probably both.

“I...” you began, but you were still quite in shock from not only seeing Eric Nam in the staffroom but by your boss’s accusation regarding your feet.

“What I’m trying to tell you, in not so many words, is to get moving, Y/L/N,” McGonagall added with something which could have been a chuckle but which also could have been another impatient ahem.

Without another word, you scrambled inside the staffroom, allowing the headmistress to pass by you so she could begin the annual beginning-of-year meeting, the reason why all of the current professors were here in the first place.

She took her spot at the head of the table so everyone could see her; you, on the other hand, slunk to the farthest corner, trying to keep out of Eric’s sight so he had no chance to recognize you.

...Who were you kidding, though? He wouldn’t recognize you even if he did see you.

As previously mentioned, he had been the most popular Gryffindor of your year. One of the most popular Gryffindors since Professor Longbottom -- since Harry Potter himself, even! Everyone had known him because he... well, he was Eric! He was nice and friendly and outgoing and funny and smart and fearless, and there was just something about him which made him popular.

And you? You had been a stereotypical Ravenclaw. A glasses-wearing, nose-in-book, people-fearing nerd.

You’d had two friends, maximum -- not including your professors, of course. Your professors had always loved you, and that was a huge reason why you’d wanted to come back here as a professor yourself. But as far as friends your own age? Two.

You’d been shy and quiet and scared, and probably the first time most of your classmates had even heard your name was when you were recognized at the end of your seventh year for academic excellence. You had taken ten N.E.W.T. classes and had received an Outstanding mark on all ten of your exams, so Headmistress McGonagall had seen fit to award you with a Medal of Magical Merit. (And when you had come to her with an interest in filling the History of Magic professorship left by Professor Binns several years later, she had hired you almost instantly - but that’s neither here nor there.)

So, really, you and Eric had been about as opposite as opposite could be. In fact, he hadn’t even spoken three words to you during your entire seven years at Hogwarts.

He hadn’t spoken three because he had spoken exactly two: Excuse me.

You had been standing in his way once in the hallway during your fifth year, and he had murmured those two words in your ear as he’d weaved through the crowd.

And just how did you remember this, you ask? It’s not like the two words had been something as memorable as You’re beautiful or Date me or Be mine...

Okay, fine! You remembered the exact two words he’d said to you -- and the exact time and place -- because you’d spent all seven years with a major crush on him. As cliche as it may be, you had been charmed by his good looks and his warm personality and his penchant for taking risks.

And his good looks.

And, as you took your seat as far away from his as you possibly could... you were able to deduce those good looks had not faded. They’d done the opposite, actually.

His shoulders were a bit broader. His jawline was a bit sharper. His hair, rather than being shaggy and constantly in his eyes as it had been during his teenage years, was now combed back neatly from his forehead.

In other words, the years since graduation had been nothing but kind to him. Of course. Why would you expect anything else? Eric was just that kind of guy. If anything the least bit unfortunate had ever happened to him, you’d never heard about it.

“...Ms. Y/L/N, returning to History of Magic for her third year,” McGonagall announced, her voice bursting through your daydreams. You jumped a little, eyebrows raised as your fellow professors clapped politely for you.

A very tiny smile quirked at your lips, but you didn’t even have time to sneak a glance at Eric before McGonagall moved on.

“And, finally, we are lucky enough to welcome back another former student this year. Mr, Nam will be taking over Defense Against the Dark Arts. I have assured him the position is no longer cursed, as its last occupant was here for eight years, but let us wish him luck anyway.”

The staffroom filled with more polite applause and Eric lifted a hand in greeting, looking around at as many fellow teachers as he could with a friendly smile on his lips.

He made eye contact with you for a brief moment, and your heart leaped up into your throat. Before he had a chance to look away, you forced yourself to smile at him.

And, much to your surprise, he smiled back.

You had no reason to be surprised because he was an incredibly polite and friendly person. Of course, he would smile back at you.

But it was the first time you’d ever received a smile from the biggest crush you’d ever had in your entire life, so it was just a little bit exciting.

But also pathetic.

You were no longer a teenager; you hadn’t been for quite a few years. You hadn’t even seen Eric since you’d left Hogwarts as a student. By all intents and purposes, you should be over him.

But your reaction to seeing him here in the staffroom and to seeing him smile at you?

You were definitely not over him.

“I trust we will have a wonderful year,” Headmistress McGonagall announced at the end of the meeting. “We will, yes. I know you all will have a wonderful year. It’s the students we must worry about.”

A low rumble of chuckles filled the room, and when McGonagall nodded her head to dismiss everyone, the vast majority of the professors stood and headed toward the door to finish getting ready for the feast later that evening.

You stood, too, but you didn’t move from your spot in the corner. You found you couldn’t make your legs move even one inch because Eric was walking over to you. And you knew he was walking over to you because the other professors around you had left already, and... he was looking right at you.

Oh, god.

You were not prepared for this.

Eric Nam was about to say his third word to you -- and, most likely, his fifth, sixth, seventh, and who knew how many more -- and you had no idea what they were going to be or what you were going to say back to him or what --

“I thought I recognized you when you walked in,” he began when he reached you, his lips curved into a lopsided grin. “And then McGonagall said your name. We were in the same year, right?”

You nodded. “Yes,” you replied breathlessly. To be honest, you were surprised you even managed that.

“You won the Medal of Magical Merit,” he continued, nodding and looking rather pleased with himself for remembering. “Was it nine N.E.W.T.S.?”

“Ten,” you told him with a somewhat panicked smile.

“Ten! And didn’t you get Outstanding on all your exams?”

Again, you nodded, though you couldn’t quite get any words past your lips at the moment. The fact that he remembered all of this was too overwhelming. In the best way possible.

The lopsided grin on Eric’s lips transformed into a full-blown smile, one which pierced right through your heart. “Wow,” he chuckled. “No wonder McGonagall snatched you up to teach here.”

A soft, somewhat strangled chuckle escaped your lips, and you shifted a bit awkwardly. “I wanted to, actually. But, you’re right, she didn’t hesitate in hiring me.”

He slid his hands into his pockets then, turning and making it clear he was about to leave. You jolted into action, taking a step toward the door and trying to control your breathing as he walked beside you.

“It’ll be nice to have a familiar face here,” he said as you dodged one of the armchairs on the way to the door.

A... familiar face? Really?

“To be honest,” you began, your voice a bit shaky. “I’m surprised you even remember me.”

You glanced over at him, and you saw his brow had furrowed slightly with confusion.

“Really?” he asked, and now your brow furrowed slightly with confusion.

“Well... yeah,” you chuckled. “I don’t think we ever even spoke when we were here. As students, I mean.”

You decided not to mention the two words -- the only two words -- he had said to you during those seven years.

“Ah,” he murmured, his tone filled almost to the brim with guilt. “I mean, yeah -- I didn’t --”

Rather than hear whatever his excuse would be for not ever noticing you in school, you decided... it was all water under the bridge now, right? Teenagers were a whole different species, and the two of you were adults. If he wanted to make your acquaintance now, did it really matter that he hadn’t back then?

No. It really didn’t.

“It’s okay,” you interrupted with a soft laugh. “No one really noticed me. I was even more shy and quiet back then than I am now. I literally had, like, two friends who weren’t teachers.”

“It’s not like I didn’t notice you,” Eric corrected as he held out an arm to usher you through the staffroom door. “I did notice you.”

And, unsurprisingly, your heart skipped a beat.

“I just... noticed that you were shy and quiet,” he admitted with a guilty chuckle. “Plus, we were in different houses, so... -- we were in different houses, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, nodding. “I was in Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor.”

“Ah, so you know which house I was in,” he replied a bit teasingly.

“Of course,” you said as you felt your cheeks warming. “You were the most popular student in our year. Everyone knew who you were back then.”

“Okay, not every --”

“Everyone,” you confirmed. “I was invisible, so if I knew who you were, then everyone knew.”

“Well,” Eric said with what sounded awfully like a bashful chuckle. “Now it’s the opposite. I’m the new guy, and literally, all of the students and teachers know you.”

“This is true,” you replied. It’s funny that you hadn’t thought of it that way before.

“So... maybe you could kinda... take me under your wing? Be my mentor?”

Truly, you almost stopped walking. You almost froze right there on the spot, just as you had when you’d first seen him sitting in the staffroom next to Professor Longbottom.

But, somehow, you managed to keep your composure.

“Really?” you asked, your eyebrows halfway up your forehead in astonishment.

“If you want to,” he answered quickly. “If you don’t, I totally understand. I haven’t even taught a single class, and already I can see how much work it’s going to be. If you won’t have time, it’s really fine --”

Oh my god. He was rambling, and it was one of the most adorable things ever. He was rambling much like you would have rambled if you’d ever had a conversation with him back when you were any age from eleven to seventeen.

Obviously, you didn’t think his rambling meant he had a crush on you, but still. It was... oddly satisfying to hear the most popular student of your year rambling as he talked to you.

“No, I would love to,” you assured him. “I was just surprised. But, yes, I will gladly show you the ropes. And... the first thing you should know.”

“I’m listening,” Eric replied curiously.

“The Potter kids and the Weasley kids.”

“Ooh.”

“Don’t mention anything about... the Potter and Weasley things. They don’t like to be the center of attention that much. At least, not because of who their parents are,” you explained.

“Got it,” Eric nodded. “Any other students I should watch out for?”

“Oh, you’ll learn who soon enough,” you chuckled.

“Come on!” Eric laughed. “I thought you said you were going to help me!”

“I am! But it’ll be way more fun to let you figure that particular part out on your own.”

“And here I was thinking you were nice,” he teased.

Truly, you couldn’t believe this was happening.

Eric Nam. Most popular student in your year. The one you’d had a crush on all throughout school. (The one you have a crush on now.)

Eric Nam was teasing you. He was laughing and smiling and asking you to help him and basically wanting to be your friend.

The welcoming feast that evening went as well as can be expected: there were no mishaps or pranks, no loose trolls, no basilisks... Even though you had come here long after all of the terrifying events of Harry Potter’s time, you still liked to measure the success of a Hogwarts event by the absence of a lethal creature.

Quite a few of the first-years had gotten sorted into Ravenclaw, which still made you happy despite the fact you were not the Head of House. And, of course, the food was delicious.

But one thing which stood out to you was the fact that Eric sat next to you at the professor’s table at the front of the Great Hall. He smiled at you, talked to you, laughed with you. He even expressed his relief after Headmistress McGonagall introduced him and made him stand up, saying all those adolescent eyes on him made him incredibly nervous.

“They’re not so scary once you get to know them,” you whispered, resisting the urge to reach over and pat his arm reassuringly. You felt more comfortable in his presence, yes, but not that comfortable.

“Yes, but you’re used to Ravenclaws,” he reminded you with raised eyebrows. “Gryffindors...”

“...Oh, yes. You’re quite right about that. Well, I can’t help you there,” you sighed, trying your best to keep a smile from forming on your lips. “You’re on your own.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

If you could go back in time right now and tell your seventeen-year-old self that, one day, you would be sitting next to Eric Nam and conversing playfully with him... Well, obviously, you wouldn’t believe yourself.

When McGonagall dismissed everyone after dessert, both you and Eric stood and began to make your way to the side door as all of the students headed out through the front of the Great Hall.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Eric asked as you filed out with the rest of the professors.

“I guess,” you sighed. “As ready as you can be.”

“So, it gets easier, then?” he asked with a nervous twinge in his voice.

“What, the first day of classes?”

Eric nodded, and a smile quirked at the corner of your lips.

“Easier, yes,” you assured him. “But it’s never easy. You’re a Gryffindor, though, so that shouldn’t scare you.”

“No, of course, not,” he chuckled.

You began to walk toward the part of the castle which housed all the teachers’ rooms, the two of you falling into a companionable silence for a few minutes. But then your curiosity got the better of you.

“Can I... ask you a question?” you inquired, your brow knitting together gently.

“Ask away,” Eric replied.

“Why did you become a teacher?” And when he didn’t answer right away, you continued. “I mean -- you were so popular, I figured you would become something... I don’t know, like a broadcaster for WWN. A politician, maybe even run for Minister of Magic. You were as popular and well-liked as Harry Potter -- okay, almost. But, still. You know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” he said softly, nodding. “But... the thing is... Harry Potter wasn’t popular because he was well-liked. He was popular because he overcame all these crazy challenges. And because he was a cracking good wizard. I was popular because I was nice.”

And good-looking, you thought to yourself.

“But being nice doesn’t get you as far as you think. When it came down to it, I was just an average wizard. I am an average wizard.”

“I highly doubt that’s true,” you declared, shaking your head. “McGonagall wouldn’t’ve have hired you for Defense Against the Dark Arts if you were just an average wizard.”

“Okay, maybe I’m slightly above average,” he relented. “But the truth of the matter is, I wasn’t popular for a specific, special reason. When I left Hogwarts, I realized that people knowing your name doesn’t get you too far unless it’s because you’ve actually done something. I tried to get a job in the Ministry, but there just wasn’t anything I was particularly good at. I always liked learning about Defense Against the Dark Arts, so I wrote to McGonagall on the off-chance she needed a new professor, and... here I am.”

It shouldn’t have, but it actually made you feel better that someone as popular as Eric Nam had discovered that... popularity wasn’t everything. It didn’t automatically make your life better or easier. In the back of your head, you had always wanted to be more popular, but your shyness had won out -- obviously. And now you were glad of it.

“I should actually be asking you the same question,” Eric said, interrupting your thoughts. “Why are you here when you could have any career of your choice? Ten Outstanding N.E.W.T.S.!”

A flush warmed your cheeks, and you did your best to hide a bashful smile. “I’m here because this is my career of choice,” you answered. “I loved school, and I loved learning. I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted to do besides helping kids who love learning, too. And even those who don’t.”

“Which, I assume, there are a lot of,” Eric said with a smirk.

“Absolutely,” you chuckled.

“I have to say, that’s really admirable,” Eric told you as the two of you shuffled along down the corridor. The teacher’s wing was not far off, now, so you would have to say goodnight pretty soon.

And you realized that you really didn’t want to. You wanted to keep talking to him... for hours.

“Is it?” you murmured shyly.

“To have the potential for any career, to be able to have so much power and status, and you choose to help the younger witches and wizards of our community. I --”

He cut himself off, and you forced yourself to wait ten whole seconds before speaking.

“You... what?” you asked.

Eric slowed, eventually stepping to the side of the corridor and coming to a stop. You followed him, of course, your heart pounding with anticipation.

He took a breath, his brow furrowing before he looked up and made eye contact with you. “I’m just starting to realize how sorry I am that I never got to know you back then.”

“What?” you replied without hesitation, laughing softly. “Why would you be sorry?”

“If I had known how cool you were, we could’ve ruled the school together,” he said as his lips curved into a grin.

“Oh, I did not want to rule the school,” you chuckled. “And what do you mean ‘cool’?! I’m the furthest thing from cool, I can assure you.”

Eric simply studied you for a few moments before shaking his head quickly.

“You’re wrong,” he said. “Trust me, I know.”

You were about to refute him yet again, but... you decided not to. If Eric Nam wanted to say you were cool, then why should you disagree? It was a good thing! He was seeing you in a positive light -- he was seeing you. Period. That had been all you’d ever wanted all those years ago, and now... it was finally coming true.

“Well,” you said a bit breathlessly. “There’s nothing we can do about the past now. We only have control over the present and the future.”

“Very true,” Eric nodded. “So... will you let me make it up to you?”

“Make it up -- what do you mean?”

“We’re back at Hogwarts again,” he shrugged. “I was a jerk the first time we were here together, so I want to make up for it.”

“You weren’t a jerk!” you assured him with a grin. And if you were a bolder person, you would have playfully swatted at his arm.

“Okay, maybe not a jerk,” he admitted. “I was just... blind. An idiot.”

“Oh, stop,” you chuckled, shaking your head.

“Anyway,” he interjected. “Whether or not you let me, I’m going to make up for it. I’m going to be your friend.”

You lifted your hands up in mock surrender, doing everything in your power to keep from smiling like a complete goofball.

“All right,” you told him. “I won’t get in your way if you’re that intent on it.”

Eric leaned in just a hair, one corner of his lips lifting into the slightest hint of a smirk. “I am that intent on it.”

And now, of course, your heart was racing so quickly you were surprised it hadn’t burst right through your ribcage.

But then it got better.

Or worse, depending on how you looked at it.

‘Better’ because Eric’s next words made the future very promising, indeed. ‘Worse’ because you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to breathe properly for the rest of the night.

“...Were you always this pretty?” he asked quietly, his forehead wrinkling in thought.

Somehow -- you weren’t sure how, and you would never be sure how, but --somehow, you were able to keep up your playfully teasing tone, and you rolled your eyes at him. “Oh, please,” you scoffed. “Come on, let’s go. We need our rest if we’re going to make it through the first day of classes tomorrow.”

“What? I’m serious!” he retorted, though he still followed you when you moved toward the teacher’s wing just ahead.

You simply shook your head, chuckling softly to yourself and severely hoping Eric wasn’t able to hear just how quickly your heart was racing.

If tonight was any indication... this school year was going to be interesting.

Very interesting, indeed.

Part 2

#kwritersworldnet #eric nam scenarios #eric nam imagines #eric nam au #eric nam fluff #eric nam fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #kpop harry potter au #eric nam #i could totally turn this into a series #...and i just might

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writings-of-dumpy · 4 years ago

Text

George Weasley and the Girl in Ravenclaw: Part 9

A/N: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF GUNS, child endangerment (like literally all of Harry Potter), language, mentions of sex, and cliffhanger..

After Dumbledore’s death, Severus Snape had taken over being Headmaster of Hogwarts and judging by the sparse letters from Ginny over the past few months since Christmas holiday, it was an absolute nightmare. Students were treated like slaves and anyone who stepped even a toe out of line would be punished harshly. The order gathered midday during Fred and George’s lunch hour to discuss what to do about the situation since no news of Harry had been brought to their attention.

“Okay, hear me out. This may sound crazy, but Muggles have these things called guns, and if we shoot Snape—or Voldemort, for that matter—in the head, he will probably die. At a minimum, it’s a bit hard to do magic with an obliterated prefrontal cortex,” Raven suggested. George smiled at her and patted her leg. Since Bill’s wedding, she and George hadn’t had much time together alone. He and Fred ran the shop as best they could, and Raven often took assignments from the order to go to Hogwarts and smuggle supplies to the students.

“If you want to carry a gun, fine, but I’m not sure the rest of us know how to use one,” Lupin said.

“It’s very simple,” Raven said. “Anyway, things are only getting worse, even muggles are starting to notice. I managed to swipe this newspaper that says people have been seeing odd clouds of smoke through the air…”

“Fucking Death Eaters,” Fred, George and Raven said in unison and exhaustion.

“We’ve got to start getting students out of Hogwarts. It’s not safe anymore, especially the muggle-borns,” Tonks said. Raven nodded.

George would constantly worry when Raven made trips to Hogwarts. She traveled through the Forbidden Forest and through the tunnels under the Shrieking Shack to get supplies to students in need there. He knew it was dangerous and if she was ever caught, who knew what would become of her.

“It would have to be all in one night. If students started going missing—especially the ones Yaxley likes to pick on—I’d be found out and killed for sure,” Raven said.

George’s jaw clenched at how casually she took her life. The thought of her not coming back scared the hell out of him, and he wouldn’t let her go alone.

“Fine, then it’ll be more than just you going, I’ll go too,” George offered.

“No, the Ministry has a log in Diagon Alley of strange happenings. A Weasley missing from his own shop would raise red flags,” Lupin reasoned. “Raven, go tonight and talk with Ginny and Neville about possible times that we could sneak muggle-borns out.”

“Done,” Raven agreed.

After the meeting, Raven went up to her space in the attic to supply herself with protectives and supplies the students will need. George rarely went after her because he knew she wanted to be alone as she prepared, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew with every moment she spent inside Hogwarts, the higher her chances of being caught were.

“Ven?” he asked from the doorway. She turned around and smiled at him.

“Hey,” she said and turned back to shrinking bandages and water bottles.

“I’m worried,” George said plainly. “And I’m scared for you.”

Raven looked at him, then zipped up the pack and slung it over her shoulder. “Well, that’s not doing you any favors, is it?”

She went to walk past him and he caught her arm with his hand and gently stopped her. He looked into her eyes and said, “I don’t want you to keep doing this.”

“I’ll come back, I promise. Always, remember?” Raven said and gave his arm a squeeze.

“If you aren’t back by midnight, I’m coming after you,” George said seriously.

“I’ll be back by then, I usually am,” she said. She leaned up and kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly and headed out the door. George’s heart skipped a beat and he felt the familiar lust he had for her creep into his mind and his heart swelled. He was sure she was trying to kill him now.

George waited anxiously for closing time to finally arrive so he could head back home and check for Raven. When the cuckoo clock finally struck 10pm, he was already packed and ready. “Come on , Fred, or I’m locking you in.”

“Eager to get home, eh?” Fred said as he tucked his bag under his arm and the pair headed out to close the shop.

“I need to make sure Raven’s okay,” George muttered as he fumbled with his keys. When he finally locked the door, Fred was eyeing him strangely. “What?”

“Are you two finally… you know…” Fred asked and mimed a rude gesture.

“Shagging?! No, are you serious? We’ve only kissed once, and who’s had time with all this, anyway,” George said and gestured to the air.

Fred scoffed, “I’ve had plenty of time.”

“Oh really now, with who?” George challenged.

“Angelina, of course! Where do you think I go every Friday night?” Fred asked. George’s eyes widened. Come to think of it, he had noticed Fred’s sudden disappearance on most Friday evenings, but I guess he assumed Fred was off being alone.

“Unbelievable,” George said.

“No, what’s unbelievable is that you and Ven have only kissed. She’s a good fit for you, just go for it!” Fred encouraged.

George shook his head. “Maybe I LIKE taking my time. Besides, she’s your friend, shouldn’t you be discouraging men from trying to shag her unless she likes them?”

Fred scoffed and shook his head. “You’ve gone mad.”

The subject was dropped once they apparated into the burrow. George walked into the kitchen to find Tonks with Molly sat in a chair.

“What happened?” Fred asked, following George in.

“Harry’s gone to Hogwarts tonight. Raven saw him in the tunnels and told us straight away. He’s going to confront Snape and try to destroy the last horcruxes. All of the Death Eaters will be there at any moment,” Tonks said. “We wanted to tell you. The rest of the Order is ready to go, will you join us?”

“No question,” Fred and George said. George panicked at the thought of every dark wizard, witch and creature swarming on Hogwarts with Raven and his sister in it. He quickly changed into more suitable clothes, then the four of them apparated into the tunnels below the Shrieking Shack. When they arrived, they were greeted by every member of the order, and they made their way through the tunnels. George wondered where Raven was and if she was alright. He expected to see her with the rest of the order, but he couldn’t find her.

“This way,” Kingsley commanded and pointed to the left at a fork in the tunnel. When they approached a dead end, Kingsley leaned against the wall to listen, then knocked four times.

“Wands ready,” he said to the group in a low voice. Slowly, the wall opened and George recognized the Gryffindor common room. Out popped Raven from the side with a grin on her face.

“Hi guys! Come on, Harry’s already headed towards the great hall,” she said and George felt an overwhelming sense of relief and he stepped forward with he rest of the order. They made their way silently through the corridors, petrifying death eaters all along the way. George was reminded of his time in school with Fred and Raven sneaking past Filch and various teachers. He looked over at her while they walked and grinned at her. She smiled back at him. As they reached the Great Hall, they heard Harry’s voice.

“It seems that despite your exhaustive defensive strategies, you still have a bit of a security problem, headmaster,” Harry declared in the silent room. As he spoke, Kingsley opened the large doors and the order walked in, fanning out to block the door. “And I’m afraid it’s quite extensive.”

George snuck his hand down to hold Raven’s behind Bill’s tall figure, and Harry continued, “How dare you stand where he stood? Tell them how it happened that night! Tell them how you looked him in the eye—the man who trusted you—and killed him! Tell them.”

Without another word, Snape raised his wand and pointed it at Harry. The students who were formed in neat lines suddenly jumped out of the way and scattered out of the way. Before any of the arrived order could step forward, Minerva McGonagall placed herself between Snape and Harry. After a small moment, fire flew from her wand right at Snape’s dumbfounded face. He blocked it, and McGonagall advanced forward, sending flame after flame until Snape rebounded the spells off of him and back to the death eaters behind him, then flew out of the window.

“And stay out!” Raven shouted. McGonagall lit the candles back to their familiar glow and the room erupted in applause and cheer. George grinned from ear to missing ear and looked down at Raven. The two embraced tightly and George said to her, “I was so worried…”

“I was too. But we’re here now, and we’ve got a fight ahead of us,” Raven said in a slightly ominous tone.

The room suddenly went dark and an eerie voice was heard by all by the looks of it. “I know that many of you will want to fight, some of you may even think that to fight is wise, but this is folly. Give me Harry Potter. Do this and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave Hogwarts untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have one hour,” Voldemort’s voice rang out. George held onto Raven, who looked sick to her stomach.

After a moment, a Slytherin girl spoke up, “What are you waiting for? Someone grab him!”

“Looks like I’m gonna kill a child today,” Raven said and stood next to Harry with her wand raised. The rest of the Order followed her with George and Fred on either side of Raven.

“Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!” Filtch screamed as he came running into the Great Hall.

“They are supposed to be out of bed, you blithering idiot,” McGonagall said impatiently. “However, your appearance is most opportune. Would you be so kind as to escort Miss Parkinson and the rest of Slytherin house to the dungeons.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Filtch said, completely intimidated.

After that, the Order’s job became clear: protect Harry until all of the horcruxes were destroyed. Kingsley turned to the remaining order members after Molly and Tonks went with McGonagall to the front of the castle. “Fred, George, Raven, you take the east tower, Arthur, Bill, Fleur, you take the west, the rest of you split up in between. They’ll be attacking from all over we expect, so if you need backup, move to the middle.”

George started to run to the east side of the castle with Fred and Raven. He noticed that the barrier was already up and he could see several wires and explosives being set up on all of the bridges. When they reached a good spot to see over the courtyard, he managed to make out dark shadows on the hill across the lake, and assumed it must be Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Not even an hour had gone by before they began their attack on Hogwarts.

“Bloody git, that Voldemort!” Fred said.

“Well, with a title like ‘Dark Lord,’ I think bloody git is putting it lightly,” George observed.

All of a sudden George couldn’t tell what was happening there was so much chaos.The castle was exploding and creatures of all kinds of dark lands flooded the grounds. He could barely tell who he was fighting, and he could barely get a word in, all he could do was block the curses and hope that none of them landed on him and better yet rebounded back onto his attacker. During a brief pause, George managed to stun his attacker backwards and off of the tower.

“Oops,” he said to himself, and the three of them ran to the courtyard through the chaos of students. George and Raven’s hands clasped together for George feared he’d lose her in the chaos of the fight. Explosions and curses erupted around them and George was feeling slightly overwhelmed. The three of them stood back to back and guarded each other that way while defending an entrance to the castle. Death Eaters, giants, trolls, vampires, and werewolves all were involved in attacking students, staff, and Aurors.

“Are you actually kidding me right now?! What the fuck is this noseless freak playing at, anyway?!” Raven shouted and started throwing hex after hex at the new oncoming enemy: giant spiders.

“This reminds me of something, George!” Fred said. “Hang on!” Fred leapt away from them and George assumed he didn’t know he stopped right in the path of a falling beam. He was far away from where the chaos was concentrated, so he had a moment to stop moving, but George prayed that he wouldn’t... but he did.

“FRED, NO!” Raven cried out, but before they could reach him, the beam had fallen and smacked him in the head, his face still stuck in a smile.

#george weasley #george weasley x oc

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looselucy · 6 years ago

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Us & Them

April 14th It was 9am, and Chloe had been talking my ear off for the past 45 minutes, gabbing down the phone about something or nothing and absolutely anything.

“And literally, it has only been a matter of weeks since I said to Libby, we need to go to a city soon or something because we need to get laid, and she was like nah, and now I know why. She was already getting laid. Louis was laying her.” “He was.” I giggled. “Do you think he’s good in bed?” “Can’t say I’ve ever really thought about it.” “Really? I think about what everyone would be like in bed. Girls included.” She told me. “I think Louis is one of those who isn’t much special until he gets to know your body, then he’s well good.” “What do you think I’d be like?” I sniggered. “Slow and sexy.” “Awh, thanks Chloe!” “Lin goes like a rabbit for hours. Libby probably likes kinky shit. Niall is up for anything. Harry is hard but passionate. I mean, he’s a self-defence teacher and an artist. I bet that juxtaposition is an absolute treat.” Due to how spot on her description of what Harry would be like in bed was, I genuinely started pondering over just how accurate her other predictions were. I was blushing, rolling over on my bed to stare up to the ceiling. “Mm, I bet.” I bit my lip. “Whoever gets to find out is a lucky girl.” “Tell me about it.” She groaned. “Hey, what’s the plan tonight? It’s Harry’s birthday, right?” I was still surprised by how things had played out in terms of us knowing about Harry’s work and his secret coming to light. He’d been so composed and laidback about all of it, so understanding and almost humorous. He’d opened his sessions up again the following Wednesday on the 10th, followed by our weekly trip to The Tin Mouse, and even when they’d all grilled him and gotten excited, he’d been so fine about all of it! I suppose he really had expected at least one of us to have known for longer anyway; it wasn’t unfamiliar to him, having people know about his work. It wasn’t like all the stuff with his family, which was private and his own to share. His career had opened doors and broken down walls and left him exposed in ways that couldn’t be reversed, and he seemed to understand that. His work was a spectacle in ways his private life needn’t be. It was different. In a strange and unpredictable way, it actually seemed as though he felt better for us all knowing, as though a weight had been lifted. Maybe him being back in Rosebury was a big contribution to it, but over the past week or so, it felt like it was the happiest I had ever seen him. He was beginning to open up in ways I hadn’t foreseen, slowly stitching the pieces of his life together to create something whole. I was sure even a few short months earlier he wouldn’t have even thought to tell us about his birthday, but he’d been excited and planned an evening to celebrate. He was doing so unbelievably well. I was ridiculously proud of him and how wonderful he’d been about everyone knowing. He was more interested in the news about Louis and Libby than anything else. “He’s forced Gina to get the karaoke out,” I confirmed. “So it’s a night at The Royal Rose for us.” “Brilliant, what’re we singing?” “You’ll have to get me really bloody drunk to make me sing.” “Happy to do just that. Me, you and Libby could be Destiny’s Child.” “OR, the Bee Gees!” “That’s the spirit!” There was a knock on my door, and I had to make an educated guess that it would be Harry. All he’d said was to keep my day free, and I imagined it would be a day in bed before a night in the pub. It sounded perfect to me. “Okay, I gotta go! I’ll see you tonight though.” “See you to-Night Fever.” She blurted, sounding rather proud of herself. “Also, by the way, I’m very loving but feisty in the bedroom, in case you wanted to know.” “I didn’t, but thank you.” “Can you confirm if I’m right about what you’re like in bed? How deep is your love, Alfie?” “Goodbye, Chloe!” As soon as I’d hung up I leapt to my feet, scuttling over to the door, eager to see Harry again. It had been less than 12 hours since I’d last seen him, but after a night sleeping in our own beds it somehow felt like a lifetime. I’d been up early that morning to get some basics done in the shop with Louis since we weren’t opening that day, and I’d made the decision not to stay at Harry’s the night before, a decision I regretted rather quickly. I swung the door open, practically jumping with glee over the sight of him, about to grab his face and kiss the life out of him, but he didn’t give me the chance. He snaked around my side, standing behind me and putting his hands over my eyes, holding his body close to mine. “Harry,” I cried. “What’re you doing?” “Clearly, it’s a surprise.” He leaned to my ear, trying to waddle the two of us forward and lead me out the door and down the stairs. “Wait, what? It’s your birthday. Surely I should be the one surprising you.” I tripped almost instantly. “Shit, fuck, couldn’t this have waited until after we’d tackled the stairs?” “That’s not as fun. Less risky.” “That sounds so much better to me.” “Careful, there’s a step there!” I was appalled by how unfamiliar I seemed with my own home, Harry having to yank me back to him so I didn’t go tumbling down the flight of stairs leading outside. I could feel his body jittering as he held me back, the two of us already in fits of laughter at my inexcusably weak attempt to manage even the first step. He kept my eyes covered as he rested his head against the side of mine, and we were already tittering so much I didn’t think I’d ever be able to manage the rest of the stairs. “Guide me better!” I howled. “They’re fucking steps, they’re not that complicated!” “Fine, fuck you, I’m going.” I took a steady stride, gradually beginning to move downwards. “Happy Birthday, by the way.” “Thank you, boss.” “I’m scared. Should I be scared?” “It’s a good surprise, I promise.” “Still scared.” “Don’t be.” We reached the bottom of the stairs much quicker than I’d been expecting, trying to take another step down which wasn’t even there, which made me stumble forward again, the whole endeavour much messier than it should have been. We took a few steps outdoors before Harry halted, bringing us to a standstill. My stomach was in knots. “Ready?” He asked quietly. I shook my head, but that didn’t stop him from lifting his hands off my eyes. I burst into tears the second he had. Because standing right in front of me, on the gravel beside my car, was my dad, my mum, and a rather timid looking nurse stood behind them, watching us with a smile on her face. He’d gotten them back to Rosebury. After almost five long years, he’d gotten them to come home. Both of them. I slapped my hands against my mouth, gripping my eyes shut, and I just stood there in floods of tears. I didn’t have the capacity to do anything else, all I could do was weep. It was so absurd and overwhelming that I couldn’t make sense of it, the fact they were both actually there, stood right ahead of me. It had been so many years, and for so many months I’d been trying to encourage my father to come back, if only for a day or two, but the fact it was actually happening was preposterously peculiar. My dad took a few steps forward and took me into his arms, telling me it was okay, to stop being silly and stop crying, how happy he was to be back, to see me again. I was floored.

“He paid for all of it.” My dad whispered across the table, nodding towards Harry, who was stood ordering our food at the counter in PJ’s. “The nurse, our journey here. He got us a medical van, just in case anything goes wrong. He paid for all of it.” I looked over my shoulder, watching Harry chatting freely with the owner Paula and the nurse, who I’d learnt was called Helen and wanted to give us as much alone time for the day as she possibly could whilst always being around to help my mother if needs be. “How did…” I turned back to face my parents. “Why did… When did he sort this?” “He got in touch with me last week. Had it all planned out, made it as easy as it possibly could be. Kinda made it impossible to say no. Not that I wanted to but, it’s just always seemed so out of reach before.” I didn’t quite know what to say or think or even feel. I couldn’t fathom him going to all that effort on my behalf, the amount of money he would have spent, the care, the kindness. All of it. My eyes flicked to the side to gage my mother, and it must have been so long since she was last out of that home, and I totally understood why my dad had been so worried about it, but even though she was quiet and a little vacant, I actually believed it would have been doing her so much good, even if we couldn’t see it. I didn’t want to cry, but it was very likely I’d spend the majority of our day in tears. Even the fact that Harry was right there with us, that we were out in public as a unit with him included, that meant so much to me. He would have been well aware that the chances of us running into someone were high, but he didn’t seem to care. I dropped my head, struggling to keep my emotions in check. “I can’t believe he’s done all this.” I murmured. “I never asked him to do any of it, I… I just can’t believe he’d do this for me.” “That’s what real love looks like. You’ll have to get used to that.” Even hearing the word love made my stomach coil. The pace of mine and Harry’s companionship had been irregular and unpredictable, and though things had begun in October and intensified in January, love still somehow felt like a big word, a big feeling, something I somehow feared. I’d had one serious relationship in my life, one single experience of that form of love, and it had been a destructive example of it. Love had broken my confidence and shattered my trust. Love had made me doubt my own worth and shun my true emotions, the damage darting to destruct so many different aspects of my life and myself. Love had been an enemy disguised as a friend. But the bottom line was that even at his very best, Sam would have never done what Harry had done for me that day. It wasn’t in his nature. He wouldn’t have even considered it. I did not want to fear love because one person had shown me such a poor example of it. “Sam would’ve never done this for me, would he?” I voiced my thoughts. “I doubt it.” “Not that this… Not that it should be expected, because this is… But y’know what I mean.” “One day Sam will meet someone and all that stuff will come really naturally to him.” My dad said. “I just think that you two weren’t right for each other. I hope you leaving him was the wakeup call he needed, and the next person he’s with… he’ll do better. You’ve just got to be with the right person.” I nodded, hoping he was right, because I had seen a lot of good in Sam, and in ways I would always care for him. “Once you find that, it changes you.” He went on. “Once you find that, you become the best version of yourself. It’s a wonderful thing.” He moved to take hold of my mother’s hand, and thankfully she didn’t cower or pull away, she tightened her grip. She seemed at ease, which was a rare and lovely sight. I was startled back to life when Harry came and sat himself down next to me. “Paula said she’s gunna rustle up Rita’s favourite.” He got himself comfortable at my side. “I dunno what that is, but I trust her to know.” “D’ya hear that, Ree?” My dad encouraged. “You’re gunna get your favourite, meat and potato pie.” “That’s nice.” Her reply was low, but any reply at all was good. “We used to come here every Sunday.” My dad turned to tell Harry. “She’d order the same thing every week.” “With a tea.” She added, quiet, but loud enough for us all to shut the fuck up and stare at her completely dumbfounded. It was such a small thing, such an insignificant little fact, but she’d remembered. She had remembered what she used to order every single Sunday when she’d go to PJ’s with my dad. “Holy shit.” I was mystified. “That’s right!” My dad beamed. It was so strange, how she didn’t even know who I was but she could remember something so small like that, even if it was just for a few seconds, even if it was utterly trivial. I really thought being in places that were so familiar to her was helping her recall even the tiniest things, aided by that sense of acquaintance and home. It was impossible not to smile. “I’m so happy you’re both here.” I sighed, taking Harry’s hand beneath the table. “Thank you for sorting this, Harry.” “My pleasure.” He reached to shake my father’s hand across the table. “Good to see you again. How do you feel being back?” Even on the tiny walk from my place to PJ’s, he’d bumped into three people he knew, and was greeted by more love and welcomes when we got into the café. He seemed happy enough and glad to see people, and they seemed glad to see him, but I suppose it was difficult, especially with my mum being right there. As lovely as the greetings had been, they’d also been accompanied by sad looks and awkward moments, broken smiles and sympathetic words. No one meant any harm, that much was clear, but it couldn’t have been easy. “I feel okay. Strange, but good.” He answered rather shakily and yet sure at the same time. “I’ve missed it.” “There’s something special about this place, isn’t there?” Hearing Harry say that made me smile. “Very. And the people in it.” His eyes dodged to me for a second, giving a very knowing look to the two of us. “Agreed.” Harry was holding back a smile, seeming a little bashful. I made my eyes go wide, glaring, not wanting Robert Hunter to act like a proper dad and start interrogating him and scaring him off. Harry didn’t know that I’d confirmed to my dad that there was something happening between us, but I thought with how our day was going and what he’d done for me, Harry would’ve been pretty foolish to think my dad wouldn’t be aware of it. “Just look after her.” He simply said. “I will.” Harry nodded assertively. My whole body was likely beaming a certain blushed colour that I could not control, dropping my head and cooing down towards the table. Harry could say the most simple things and make me experience feelings I never had before. “Alright, well I’m gunna leave you to it.” He sighed, squeezing my hand and then letting go. “What?” My dad gawped. “I know this is a family thing, I don’t wanna intrude.” He raised to his feet. “You’re not intruding at all, it’s the complete opposite.” Robert was stern. “Sit yourself back down. This is only happening because of you, so I think you should stay.” I looked up to him, kind of expecting to see him looking like he’d actually wanted to get away, that he'd have felt a little strange and out of place if he’d stayed, which I would have totally understood. But if anything, he looked flattered. “Are you sure?” “Absolutely.” Smiling and thanking him, Harry sat himself back down, taking hold of my hand again as soon as he could. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

We trudged through the tall grass, the setting sun making everything golden, the evening warm and blissful. It was perfectly serene, birds singing lullabies from their branches, butterflies dancing over flowers, my heart feeling far removed from everything that could ever possibly harm it. Totally peaceful. “Where’re we going?” Harry asked from behind me. “To where my dad proposed to my mum.” I turned and whispered back to him. “I think he’s hoping she’ll remember it.” We were only a short drive out of Rosebury, but from that spot it felt like there was no sign of society for miles and miles, where Mother Nature still reigned supreme, her beauty untouched and untroubled. My dad had hold of my mum’s hand, carefully leading her towards the very spot he’d asked her to marry him when they were only nineteen years old. He was so affectionate, so ridiculously in love with her even still, despite everything. I worried for him all the time, imagining his life both with and without her. There didn’t seem to be a possible outcome where he would be as happy as he deserved to be. My heart broke for him. I stopped when we reached the end of the taller grass, my dad leading my mum down the small hill in front of us to take her out into the open where he’d asked her to marry him. Harry stood by my side, the two of us giving them their space. “This is beautiful.” Harry admired. “He’s really romantic.” I liked seeing them wander off hand in hand like that, because it was almost as though for a few brief moments of my life, I could forget completely the fact that she didn’t fully know who he was or understand what was happening. Seeing them then, the years rewound before my eyes, taking me back to simpler times when their love was untested and her bookshelf was heaving with books of all colours and sizes, romance novels filling each shelf, depicting their love and a life of happiness they had once built side by side. It was the first time in years where the image of them was strong enough to shield that disease, my eyes only able to see two people in love and nothing else. I sat myself down, keeping my eyes on them every second as I tucked my knees upwards, heart and body warm. Harry sat down beside me, the two of us quietly observing them for quite some time, uninterrupted, peaceful. Even when he did eventually speak, he was gentle. “It’s like they never left.” I turned my head to look over his profile, the way he smiled looking out across the fields and hills before us. “Why did you do this for me?” I asked him. “Why wouldn’t I?” He looked back at me. “I care about you. I wanted to make you happy.” “You make me happy anyway. This is… It’s on another level, is all I’m saying.” “So are you.” He shrugged, casually creating pink blotches in my cheeks. He was treating it like the most ordinary thing, like it was the obvious thing to do and he couldn’t really understand why I was so bewildered by it. I was blushing like mad. “It’s what you deserve, and if I can give that to you, I will. And, y’know… your dad deserves this too. He needed to come back here. It was a bit of a no-brainer.” I reached to take his hand, joining our fingers together and holding his hand as tightly as I dared since he still had his bandages on to cover his cuts, which I hoped were well on their way to healing. I leaned his way, kissing his cheek briefly. “I’m beyond grateful. Thank you.” I spoke against his skin, his dimple appearing beside my lips. “You’re welcome.” “I feel really bad that it’s your birthday and it’s like… It’s like the whole day has revolved around me. I haven’t even given you your present yet.” “You got me a present?” “Of course I got you a present.” I chuckled. “You think I’m not gunna get you a present? Louis’ got you one too!” “What the fuck!” “You should not be this surprised!” “I expected a few pints, but actual presents?” He whelped before he seemed to calm, bewildered as he spoke. “Shit. It’s been a long fucking time.” He was so sweet, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe his luck. Buying for him had been much more difficult than I’d anticipated. He was such a diverse, illusive being that every typical option I’d thought of fell completely flat. Eventually, I’d settled on an acoustic guitar, one I’d seen months earlier than had made me think of him for reasons I didn’t understand. He was clearly a creative person with multiple talents, and though I knew he already owned a guitar, he’d spoken to me about how it was a hobby he’d regretfully overlooked for quite some time. Since he was leaving one of his passions behind, I thought he might like to remind himself of something else he loved doing, something that wasn’t as harmful, that didn’t nourish the demons within him; they needed starving of the misery he had fed them for too long. “I’m sure hearing everyone on karaoke will be enough of a gift in itself.” I leered. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.” I had been excited about our day anyway, but with what he’d planned he’d made a good day near perfect. I felt like I wanted to thank him forever. “Seriously, I’m beyond grateful for today, Harry. Thank you.” “Again, you’re welcome.” He chuckled. “You don’t have to keep saying it.” ”Sorry if you feel like you’ve kinda wasted your day.” After spending the late morning and early afternoon in PJ’s, we had spent the rest of our day slowly walking her around town, taking my mum to all her favourite spots and even visiting the house where we used to live as a family. It definitely wasn’t the most riveting of days, as much as I’d loved it. “I don’t, at all. It’s been really nice. Better than how I’ve spent my birthday for the last few years anyway.” I took a moment, shifting uncomfortably on my spot as I thought about approaching the topic I’d been contemplating and stressing over for weeks. I wanted to share it with him, not in the hope of reaching a definite outcome, but me and Harry were doing so well with being open and honest with what we were feeling and thinking, I felt I owed it to us more than anything. I wanted to try and gage how he was feeling about the topic of people knowing about the two of us without diving right into; I wanted to simply test the waters and gather whether he thought we would sink or swim. It was a difficult subject to breach because he’d almost been forced to be much more open that he was accustom to in recent weeks and months, and though that had been a good thing in the grand scheme of things, I understood it must have been overwhelming for him. I didn’t want to pile everything on at once and taint the incredible process he had made. “Were... Were you nervous about bumping into someone today?” I asked shyly. “Mm.” He nodded, smiling as he turned his head to face me. “Were you?” “Yeah.” I admitted. “Kinda.” “Thankfully we got through the day without any of that lot witnessing.” He sniggered. “We’d have never heard the bloody end of it.” “So you’re… You’re not ready for people to know then? About us?” He whipped his head to look at me, likely picking up on the tone of my voice and the suggestion within it. He took a few seconds, the very smallest smile on his lips as he looked over my face, sighing deliberately. I was impressed by the fact he hadn’t run, that he was still sat there with me seeming to actually fully contemplate what I was saying rather than getting defensive and immediately shunning it. Somehow, that was good enough for me. Every day, I could see us progressing, and that was enough. “Sorry.” He said, knowing I’d already figured out his answer. “S’okay. I get it. I just wanted to know where you’re at, that’s all.” “I’m not quite there yet.” I nodded, completely understanding of why he felt that way. Maybe we weren’t ready. Maybe there was already more than enough going on in our lives and between the two of us that we didn’t need anything else from the outside burrowing its way inwards. The thought of everyone knowing was intimidating, I could admit that. I suppose I’d just gotten carried away with how exciting I found it too. I was happy to go at his pace, as long as I knew we were moving forward. I shuffled myself a little closer to him, Harry letting go of my hand so he could wrap his arm around me, tuck me into his side carefully, kiss at the top of my head. I could tell it was his way of comforting me, letting me know that it wasn’t to do with me but more to do with him and how he felt. I couldn’t have asked for much more than that. I looked ahead, seeing my mum and dad picking flowers together, crouched down over a certain patch as he plucked some from their place and handed them over to her. I wiped away my tears quickly. “I dunno what I expected when I moved here,” As Harry spoke, his voice seemed to intertwine with the nature around him, his chords a hidden vein that could bury beneath the soil and create new life. “But it definitely wasn’t this.” I lay my head on his shoulder, not even needing to question him or wonder whether that was a good thing or not, because I knew it was. “I’m so glad you’re here.” I whispered. “I kinda hate thinking about my life without you now. It doesn’t seem right.” Within a second of me saying that, he’d twisted his head to thrust his lips together with mine, breathing me in, a cold wind playing around us and through our hair as he grabbed hold of my face, tongue teasing mine. He was intense, groaning as his mouth moved, beautifully passionate. I felt weak beneath his touch. He was captivating, in everything he said and everything he did, every touch strong enough in its tenderness to weaken me indefinitely. How well I knew his touch and how versed he was with mine made every kiss categorically remarkable, almost intimidatingly so. But that kiss was something beyond anything we’d shared before. I was breathless by the time he stopped kissing me, his lips still close enough to brush my own ever so slightly, fingertips pushing against my jaw to keep me close. I opened my eyes, saw that he was already looking deep into mine, wetting his lips. I felt like I wasn’t breathing. “ALFIE!” I heard my dad call for me from across the field, which may have been the only thing that could make me tear my eyes from Harry’s. “I think we need to get her back. She’s getting upset, she’s confused.” I nodded, my stomach still sinking and my body still motionless, but Harry jumped to his feet immediately, rushing over to lend a helping hand. I was frozen.

“HOLD THE LINE!” Lin was yelling rather than singing. “LOVE ISN’T ALWAYS ON TIME!” It was painful, literally painful. I was loving every second and it was funny as hell, but listening to him squawking like that was genuinely doing bad things to my delicate little ears. The remaining five of us were all leaning our backs against the bar, cringing. “Oh god, it’s even worse than usual.” Louis snorted. “The fact he has no shame is so attractive.” Niall was biting his lip, already one too many drinks down. Chloe was already chatting to the bloke who was in charge of the karaoke machine for the evening, having a deep discussion about which Bee Gees song we should try to take on after realising Stayin’ Alive probably wasn’t the easiest one to tackle, but likely the funniest. Libby and I were trying to down our drinks in order to be drunk enough to actually get up and sing, but it didn’t seem to be working. Chloe had zero qualms about it. “Are you gunna take on Islands in the Stream again?” I asked Harry, nudging his hip with mine. “I suggested I Got You Babe as a joke, and Niall’s already requested it.” “You should be aware that there are no jokes when it comes to Niall and karaoke, Harry.” “That’s really a lesson I need to learn.” He sniggered. Thankfully, we’d managed to calm my mother down earlier before things had gotten completely out of hand. We’d walked her back out of the field and taken her straight over to the van, though thankfully she hadn’t needed any medical assistance, she’s merely needed to calm down and realign her mind once more, as much as she could. They’d left not long afterwards, the farewell drawn out and bittersweet, but I knew it would have made a world of difference when it came to my dad and his attitude towards spending time in Rosebury. We’d gotten through the day with barely a single issue and I could tell that something had switched in his mind. After a brief trip home with Harry by my side, gifting him his guitar and taking him to bed, our evening in the pub had snuck up on us rather quickly and was going exactly as expected. If only or a while. Just as Lin was taking his bow, the song finally coming to a triumphant end, the door swung open and Sam and Tom welcomed themselves into The Royal Rose. Sam had been rather good at hiding himself away since the night where Harry had knocked him to the ground with one foul punch over three months earlier, meaning that most of the group hadn’t seen him since finding out exactly why it was that Harry had gone after him the way he had. I shuffled uncomfortably on my spot as they both approached, looking far too smug for my liking. “M’going outside.” Harry grunted, rolling his shoulders and pushing away from the bar, ready to take himself away from the situation. “Harry, it’s your birthday, you don’t have to-” “Fancy seeing you lot here.” Sam’s voice was as smarmy as ever. “Don’t leave on my behalf, mate.” “I’m not your mate.” Harry stopped and answered, back rigid, tone vapid. Sam was just that bit shorter than Harry, positioning himself right in front of him and looking up with a smug smile on his face. I could see Harry clenching his fists, doing what he could to contain his rage. Lin, however, wasn’t feeling quite as forgiving. “OI!” He yelled, rushing to us from the front of the room. “Sam, get the fuck out.” “I just want a pint, I didn’t even know you lot were here. You don’t own the fucking pub, Lincoln.” Lin seemed unfazed, getting right up in Sam’s face, snarling as he spoke. “But you know I say one word to Gina about what you did to Alfie and you’re barred for life, so I’d take the highroad and leave of your own accord before I make that happen.” “Scary.” He sniggered sarcastically. “Oh fuck this.” Niall tut. “Harry, shut him up and knock him out again, would ya?” I felt like the reason Sam was so defensive and vulgar was no longer anything to do with me and more in an attempt to feel better about himself, try to prove how unfazed he was about the fight he and Harry had. He had no clue that he continued to make himself look worse and worse with every interaction they shared. “Sam, drop it.” Chloe piped up rather shyly. “It’s Harry’s birthday, we’re just trying to have a nice night, can’t you leave it? Go to a different pub.” “It’s embarrassing.” Lin sounded just as rude as Sam had, it was brilliant. “Look, I said I’m sorry,” He fought. “I’ve spoken with Alfie, it’s nowt to do with any of you. I’m not here for trouble, I’m here to have a drink, so if you could all move out of my fucking way and let me get to the bar.” “Go somewhere else.” Harry demanded. “Why should I?” “Sam, fuck off.” Niall groaned, tired of it. He seemed to ignore everyone, looking back up to Harry and it was clear he wanted to make him snap. He wanted a rise out of him. I slyly took Harry’s hand, trying to pull him back, closer to me. Grinning, Sam quickly dropped his eyes to look at me. “We’re alright aren’t we, Alfie?” He asked. “Don’t even bother speaking to her.” Harry stepped so he was right in front me, blocking Sam from me in any way he could. He was doing so well. He could have lost his head as soon as Sam walked through the door, but he hadn’t. He’d stayed as calm as he could, which I appreciated, but then I’d catch another glimpse of the look on Sam’s face and I’d want to punch him myself. Sam took a step closer, Harry not moving an inch. “I dunno whose fucking hero you’re trying to be, but you’re not hers.” Sam snarled, nodding his head towards me. “You might as well stop trying to be.” “I’m not trying anything.” Harry snarled. “Looks like you are to me.” “Why? Because I wanna protect her from you?” “Like you’re any better. I can see right through you-” “Don’t push me.” Harry shook his head. “Say another fucking word.” It wasn’t the first time Sam had suggested that he could see Harry’s feelings for me, and though it didn’t help that every interaction they’d had had been hostile and revolved around me, it seemed that maybe he could see through him in some ways. But he was claiming to see something else in him too, a violence and an aggression, something that had affected Harry’s life and was the source of too many painful memories. And even though he had worked so hard to move on and find alternative ways to deal with his emotions, his rage and his sorrow in particular, I knew what Sam was saying would be bothering him, evoking emotions and times that Harry wanted to keep in the past. “Sam, you’ve got ten fucking seconds.” Lin finalised. “Fine, I’m going, chill out.” He smirked. “Enjoy your nights. Careful around him, Alfie.” Lin managed to stand in the way before I’d even noticed that Harry had lost his patience, trying to jump at Sam and Tom and the two of them sauntered out of the pub, sniggering at him as they went. I hated that they’d managed to make him snap at the very last second, how Lin was once again having to hold him back. “Don’t, mate, he’s not worth it!” Lin called. “He’s trying to get to you.” I still had hold of Harry’s hand. “Ignore him.” He glared at Sam until well after he’d left, nostrils flaring as he kept his eyes on the door, somewhere between wanting to calm down and wanting to follow him outside. His chest was rising and falling, every inch of him tense. “I need air.” He huffed, pulling away from me and heading to the back door. “No, Harry-” I tried. “I’m going out back. Just five minutes, I need to clear my head.” We all watched him go, rolling his shoulders and darting down the hallway where he’d kissed me during the first minute of the year to give himself the space he desired. Sam was trying to get in his head and it was working. He was saying all the right things and really riling him up, and he didn’t need to feel that way. I could see that Harry often saw the worst of himself, saw the negatives and found a way to blame himself for things that were out of his control, for habits and characteristics he had developed over the years. The things Sam had been saying had gotten to him so much because Harry managed to link them to things he’d done, ways he’d felt, behaviours he had tried to change, disregarding the ways he had successfully bettered himself. But I saw the best in Harry. I knew he had changed. I knew he had a good heart. “I think there’s a reason he runs those classes, y’know.” Chloe sighed once he’d slammed the door shut. “I think someone did something to someone he loves, that’s why he gets so… wound up.” “Fuck Sam.” Lin groaned, rubbing the top of my arm encouragingly. “Let’s ignore that. Who wants a drink? I’m not having him ruin our night.” Niall scuttled around to my side as everyone tried to snap out of the moment and return to normal. He leaned closer to me, whispered something in my ear that made my stomach drop. “I think Harry likes you, Alf.” “What?” “C’mon. You see how he gets about you?” “He’s just like that.” I lied as convincingly as I could. “He likes you. I know I’m right. I called Louis and Libby years ago.” “This time, you’re wrong.” “Nice opinion, but I am in fact right, and my advice to you would be to hop right on that dick as soon as possible.” I was glad he’d said something funny so I could laugh it off, shake my head and end the conversation there. But he had this knowing little look on his face, clearly very pleased with himself and exceptionally confident in his prediction, with good reason. As he swaggered away from me, I rolled my eyes before they landed right on the door Harry had just walked out of, my mood dropping quickly. As well as the fact I knew Harry wanted to be on his own, I figured Niall’s speculation was a good reason not to follow him outdoors to see how he was feeling, attempt to cheer him up. He wanted time alone, and I needed to give it to him no matter how agonising the wait might be. It all stemmed down to what had happened with every member of his family; his father’s suicide, the fight with his brother, how his mother had kicked him out and he’d stopped all contact with her for too long. Through every heartbreak and every mistake, Harry had found some blame within himself, misplaced or not. In the following years, he had done all he could to make his peace and be a better person, right his wrongs, but every now and then those detrimental doubts would return to haunt him. Sam being the one to say all that and even comparing the two of them, implying that I needed to worry about Harry, that was what had made him lose himself that way. After so long, I knew what his thought process would be, how he was thinking. I knew I didn’t have anything to fear, and I needed to make sure Harry knew exactly how I felt. Another couple of minutes passed by before the conversation veered back to Harry. “Go check on him.” Niall said, nodding towards the door. “I dunno…” I groaned, trying to seem like I wasn’t desperate to go and see him, even though I definitely was. “Do it. And if he tells you to fuck off, at least then you know. Better that than him hoping someone goes to see if he’s okay and no one does.” “Then you go.” I kept up the act in order to steer his suspicions away. “I’m not the one in the middle of all this.” He shrugged, and I had to accept that at least. Sighing and faking unease, I scuttled in Harry’s direction, soon cautiously opening the door and poking my head around the corner to see that he was already looking right at me like he’d been waiting for me to show up, sat on one of the splintered tables they had outside, feet resting on the bench attached to it, hands in prayer against his lips. “M’sorry.” He spoke instantly. “I dunno why I get like that.” I stepped outside, the door closing slowly behind me as I walked over to him. “You don’t have to be sorry.” I told him, nonchalant. “You get like that because he’s a prick.” I saw his smile as I stopped right in front of him, glad to see him looking so calm and composed, to see his body almost relax with every step closer I’d taken. “You handled it well.” I nodded. “Don’t let him get to you. He doesn’t know you, Harry. He’ll say anything to feel better about himself, it’s his own issue, not yours.” Although he didn’t look quite convinced, he did look as though he was happy to hear it, happy that I was there saying what I was so confidently. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, but I didn’t quite trust that Niall wasn’t behind me spying on the two of us. Harry tilted his head a little, narrowed his eyes. “You know me well, don’t you? You know how my head works.” “I like to think so.” I looked up and shrugged, smiling modestly. “It’s nice. I like it.” He lowered his hands to take hold of me, grasping his fingers around my own, his lips creating the most perfect smile. And I think that was one of the main things that managed to make him feel better that night, that maybe made him feel better in general; the thought that I knew him so well, that I knew things about him that most people didn’t, that I knew of both his good and supposedly bad qualities, and I was there holding his hand regardless, accepting him and being with him and supporting him. It was another reminder among many that nothing really mattered other than me and him, and as long as we knew how we felt, any other opinion or doubt didn’t matter. All that mattered was us.

#THIS IS A LONG ONE PHEW #happy reading #HBS32 #1dff

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writtenbyhappynerds · 5 years ago

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Unit 8: Romance

Welcome to the romance chapter! If you haven’t taken Exam 2 for Fanfiction 101 go do that! It covers the last 3 units, so cliches, crossovers, and realism. If you have taken the exam and want the key to check your answers, DM me. Moving on, romance is a lot of writers’ bread and butter. It is an easy subplot, it can be fun to write, and it allows for both internal and external conflict. Romance can reveal a lot about a character’s personality, and it can be done extremely well where the romance between one set of characters is a hard-earned commitment and partnership between two people. However, more often than not, romance is done very, very poorly. We don’t mean bad grammar or unrealistic standards like we’ve discussed in prior chapters. We mean romance that is not romance and is instead the glorification of abusive and/or underage relationships. Strap in! This is our PSA to the world.

First things first, lots of stories introduce romance as the hook. It’s Harry Potter x [Blank] or Jason Todd x Reader. Romance is usually what gets readers to click because they want to read a story about a specific character. What writers have to be careful of is to not make two characters falling in love the entire plot. A storyline where characters fall in love is a lot more natural if it is a subplot to a narrative; it should appear second to the actual plot. In Unit 6: Making It Real, we talked about how Mary Sues have storylines where they themselves are the entire plot. Lots of romance stories suffer from this as well, and I know you want to care about and center everything about your characters, but you have to give them something to do. The audience gets bored reading it otherwise because they don’t have the same emotional attachment to your characters that you do, and you can’t force them to. So, make romance a subplot. Make it an internal conflict that becomes external with time, and if you write a slow burn, we should not be able to infer that two characters are going to end up together from the first chapter. The Editor and I have seen stories where characters get together in the first 3 or so chapters and then break up repeatedly. That is not a slow burn, which is a slow gradual incline to infatuation. That is an on and off relationship. It also removes the incentive to read because we as the reader have seen the title. We know they’re going to get back together, and then we stop reading.

We’d like to say that this chapter is our love letter to romance fanfic. However, as the Editor and I discussed more and more of the errors we find in fanfiction, it’s become a PSA. More often than not we see fanfiction writers glamorize and romanticize abusive tendencies and abusive relationships in their fanfiction as if it is “goals” or “adorable.” If we may remind you all, Twilight was not an example of a good relationship. It actually hit off all 14 nationally recognized signs for being in an abusive relationship. What this means, is that having a love interest who is overly possessive re: doesn’t let the OC hang out with people of the opposite sex, wants to constantly know where they are, is surprise popping-in to check on the OC, etc. That is not healthy because it represents a breakdown of trust in a relationship and less of a, “He’s so cute and caring that he wants to know where I am all the time.” You see this a lot in werewolf fanfiction. Usually, the Alpha is overly possessive, isolates the OC, and then wifes her up. Sometimes it’s against her will. This isn’t cute, and it isn’t charming. It’s dangerous habits and we as writers and readers should not see this kind of dynamic. I’m about to heavily spoil Frederik Backman’s Beartown for my next point. Beartown is an important book. It is my favorite book of all time. If you haven’t read Beartown there is a break in the paragraph here so you can skip ahead of the spoilers. Beneath it will be a spoiler-free summary of my point but using Beartown as an example gives me more context. There is also a blanket trigger warning. If you are easily triggered skip ahead.

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We as writers and readers usually write abusive fanfiction because we see it as “not bad because he isn’t doing XYZ.” So long as the character isn’t getting assaulted, or isn’t being physically hurt, it’s okay that they did what they did. In Frederik Backman’s Beartown, Maya Anderson is in love with Kevin Erdahl. They have small moments, tiny little slivers of interaction that are cute and warm, and make you smile. In the background, the character Amat is also in love with Maya, but she only has eyes for Kevin. Kevin and Maya are seen as acceptable up until Kevin rapes her and then gets away with it because of the conspiracy of silence and shame that surrounds the hockey town they both grew up in. Kevin is the star hockey player. He’s untouchable, and if we equate it to werewolf fanfic, he’s the alpha. In fanfiction, the audience would never support the relationship between two characters if one sexually assaulted the other because it’s the worst thing you can do to another person. However, just because Kevin rapes Maya that doesn’t mean the other things he does are any less horrible. Kevin is still a piece of shit for gaslighting, manipulating, and lying to the entire town, but those actions are seen as less terrible if Maya is not raped. Abuse takes many forms, and a love interest can still be abusive without ever physically or sexually touching their partner. Look at James Saroka.

Now, the brilliance of Beartown is that it completely subverts our expectations as readers. It surprises us. Up until the point where Kevin rapes Maya, it is a hazy, charming story of a little town trying to make it. After the action, the entire tone shifts, and the silence that this girl is forced to endure, which is so true-to-life for victims of sexual assault, change the perspective of the audience who don’t care if the town dies in a ditch so long as they let Kevin get away with what he did. Beartown shows us that love is messy and shows us a different form of love. It is not always two teenagers slow-dancing in a kitchen. It is not the shy bumbling boy asking a girl to the dance. It is a pining that sometimes never yields, and sometimes in the case of Beartown, it is a boy walking into the middle of a town hall meeting and breaking the team picket line to say, “My name is Amat. Kevin Erdhal raped Maya Anderson, and I saw it. I was drunk, and I’m in love with her, and I’m telling you that so you don’t say it behind my back when I leave.” Amat and Maya are a great example of a love story that doesn’t work out but is still someone caring passionately for another without any sense of entitlement. Amat never expects anything back from Maya, and he gives up everything to do what he does. It is an example of surprising the reader away from what would’ve been an obvious narrative.

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Ok, you’ve skipped the spoilers. Anyway, as I was saying, a character is not less of a piece of shit because they do not physically or sexually abuse their romantic partner. In lots of fanfiction, not just werewolf fanfiction, we see romantic interests that are abusive. However, even the writer considers them not that bad because they aren’t doing XYZ. There is a difference between a bad boy and an abuser. The bad boy doesn’t follow the rules because he finds them harmful or stifling. If you’re doing a High School AU or setting, the bad boy wouldn’t want to sit in a classroom with a bunch of teachers who don’t care about whether he learns or not or what they’re teaching. They’re passionate. They oppose injustice, and they don’t go for petty revenge. A bad boy would be on some Gryffindor shit. An abuser doesn’t follow the rules because they see themselves as above the law or better than the rules. In that same High School AU, they wouldn’t sit in the same classroom because they’ve already learned everything they need to know and school is a waste of time. They get mad when things don't go their way. They do their best to keep what they consider their property close to them. An abusive boyfriend would fight just to prove he’s better than others. A bad boy would fight to defend someone. If your character is overly possessive, manipulative, or controlling towards their significant other that is still abusive and it is not okay. You as writers do not have any obligation to follow the mold of what the rest of your genre does. Alpha werewolves do not have to be overly-dominant and controlling: you can be assertive and be a leader without being a shitbag. Loki characters do not have to be abrasive and play mind-games with their OC. You can be mischievous without gaslighting your partner. A definition of gaslighting is putting doubt or messing with someone’s memory by convincing them something did or didn’t happen. That person might think they’re going crazy, that something’s wrong with them, and the person who is gaslighting them will convince them everything is fine and this is the way it’s always been. In Twilight, Edward gaslights Bella after saving her from the car. It’s an example of this manipulative tendency. “Bella, I was standing right next to you. I pulled you out of the way.” Bella tells him he stopped the van (the truth) and he does his best to convince her that she hit her head really hard and isn’t remembering things properly.

Another sign of an abusive relationship is when a character changes their personality completely to fit the personality of their love interest. Again, this is evident in Twilight, and it’s also evident in the Joker and Harley Quinn in DC Comics. Harley is a very different person and was a different person before meeting the Joker. However, she changed who she was to become something he’d like. You see this in fanfic usually when characters who are written and depicted as “strong” crumble and become weak after meeting their love interest. You also see characters who drop their hobbies, the things they enjoy doing, or their other friends. This happens in writing because the author believes that the plot has shifted from the main character to the main character’s interaction with their love interest. To avoid this, romance should be kept as a subplot. If you have an overarching goal or destination, the romantic interest’s involvement will not interfere with the things that make the main character who they are because they are not the overarching goal or destination. Don’t force your characters to become someone else to better fit the person you want them to fall in love with. Two people can have different hobbies or different personalities. They don’t have to think on the same wavelength.

Relationships don’t experience outward harm and aggression nearly as much as it is written. Lots of very unrealistic fanfics put this in to add conflict to their story, but fail to understand if a character was getting hurt on a weekly or almost daily occurrence, each instance where the character gets hurt loses its value because the act itself is normalized. Accidents happen, and in some lines of work accidents happen a lot. You see that in spies, criminals, or superheroes where injuries are huge problems, yet their line of work is an open door to injuries, and injuries are expected as part of the job. I had a friend lose an eye because someone smashed a pint glass in his face. I had a family member lose a finger because he cut it off chopping wood. Neither of these accidents was at their places of work, and both are living their best lives unbothered. Normal, everyday injuries occur, and accidents are normal. They should never divulge into a conversation about “protection” because that just takes three years off my lifespan every time I read it. Shit happens. My friend’s girlfriend didn’t wax on about being unable to protect him from the pint glass. My cousin’s wife didn’t try to throw herself in front of the ax to save his finger. Mistakes can be made, and you deal with the consequences. You take a workman's comp, you veg on the couch for a couple of weeks, and you get over it. An injury in either of these contexts would never lead to a conversation about protection, and it’s more realistic if you have a character who gets frequently stabbed, shot, scratched, or punched, for their significant other to say something like, “Oh, damn, again? Sit down, and don’t you dare get blood on the carpets I just paid to have them cleaned from last time.” This happens a lot in Supernatural fanfic. Usually with Dean Winchester, where after an injury that is usually a glorified scratch the character who has been written as capable and badass caves to Dean and becomes a backup dancer to his and Sam’s show. If the character was as capable and badass as written, they wouldn’t let Dean talk to them like that, and they wouldn’t have a relationship dynamic like that. Don’t sacrifice your character’s personality just so it fits better with a member of the cast. That’s not what healthy relationships are like.

Speaking of healthy relationships, part two of this PSA. A 15-year old or underage OC (meaning someone younger than 18 years old) can have a crush on an older person: a teacher, an Avenger, etc. They can have romantic feelings for said person. Said person CAN NOT PURSUE THE UNDERAGE PERSON. It is illegal. It is immoral. It is unhealthy. Tony Stark’s daughter or son is not going to end up with Hawkeye, Captain America, the Winter Soldier, Natasha Romanoff, Loki, the Hulk, or Thor. Having a huge age gap like this creates a power dynamic where one side of the relationship has less of a voice than the other because of their much younger age. It creates an unhealthy division within the dynamic where one voice is less important than the other because one voice has less knowledge of the world and is less mature than the other. On top of that, Loki, The Winter Soldier, Captain America, Black Widow, the Hulk, Hawkeye, and Thor would never pursue an underage child because they are all grown, mature, adult men and women. They would not want to sleep with and marry a teenager because a teenager is not emotionally mature or available to these men and women. That’s why the age of consent, at least in the US, is 18. I cannot drive this point home enough. If you have to lower the age of the cast to make the age gap less uncomfortable, you already know it’s wrong and it won’t work. You need to pick a different love interest or raise the age of the OC because as we’ve discussed in Rules of the Universe, this is not a good enough reason to change the canon of the cast. Even if the child is “mature,” a mature underage child is still a child. A child being in a relationship with a 30-year old adult is super creepy, and no 30-year-olds other than the ones who creep after underage girls are going to really pursue those relationships. If you are writing members of the cast to pursue underage girls, you’re writing terrible Onision fanfic. If the characters are say, 30 and 45, those are two consenting adults. The age gap is less important because both are older and mature and have the life experience to make these decisions for themselves that a 15-year old does not have. If you are writing teenage romance, keep them within two years of each other. They should be able to go to high school together for at least two years. Even looking at student-teacher relationships. This ain’t Riverdale. Even Riverdale was weird and cringy and no one liked it. Everyone thought she was the worst because she took advantage of a student and sexually assaulted a minor. That is what happened on Riverdale because when you sleep with a minor, that minor is incapable of giving consent, and what you have just done is commit sexual assault. If a minor sends nudes to an adult that is child pornography. If the adult is caught with that they are charged with possession of child pornography. Underage relationships are inherently unhealthy. Do not write them. Do not romanticize them. An underage OC can have feelings or a crush on an adult, but it will always and must always be a relationship that is never fulfilled. A relationship that does not work out.

Love triangles are another aspect of romance that we see all the time. We talked about love triangles from a plot perspective in Realism. In that unit, they were a bad thing because your OCs deserve a much better story than choosing one person over another. Now, we’re going to examine love triangles from a romantic perspective. They’re tired. They’re old. They’re unrealistic because a girl or boy can be interested in multiple people, and need time to think about which one they’d like to end up with. Remember that we talk about abusive people who would fight to prove they’re superior to someone else. If two boys are fighting to try and prove to the world that they’re a better candidate for the OC, neither of them deserve the OC. If that’s how they treat her potential partner how will they treat her?

In addition to abusive relationships, stop glorifying and romanticizing self-harm and eating disorders in fanfiction to build angst and give the character “flaws.” Going back to Unit 6: Realism, self-harm, and/or depression and/or eating disorders are not character quirks, flaws, or tools to build angst. They are ugly. They are terrible conditions that hurt so many people, and that people all around the world struggle with without getting help. It isn’t cute to write that a character cuts themselves but stops because their love interest tells them to. Not only is that insensitive, but it’s unrealistic. That’s not how that disorder works. There are many cliches that writers fall back on to build angst in a story, but they are often so poorly executed that they never work at making the audience feel the emotion you as a writer want them to feel. These cliches include depression, bullying, self-harm, homelessness, abusive parents, and/or dead parents. Sometimes these cliches dogpile on top of each other. That is unrealistic as well. If you are going to talk about mental disorders and mental health, the burden of proof is on you the writer to make the audience believe it. You have to research these topics heavily and make sure you understand them in their entirety. Then you have to use them as a conflict of the character, not as a plot to push or challenge two characters in a relationship. You can have a healthy romance without having ridiculous plots happen to main characters. Brooklyn 99’s Jake and Amy are a great example of two characters existing sans toxicity. They don’t need outward harm or threats to their relationship, they just need each other.

This is a large information dump. We’re aware of that. To close out, we’re going to give and explain good and bad examples of relationships from TV and media. These are the cream of the crop. If you need examples of what to write or what not to write, look here.

Sokka and Suki are a great example of a good relationship. Neither one ever discounted the other’s ability to be a badass. They respected each other's cultures as well, Sokka going as far as to learn and train with the Kyoshi warriors for the short while he was there. He never tried to “protect” Suki when he knew she could protect herself. In vice versa, Suki was the same way.

Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 are a great example. Their relationship is peak good slow burn. They start off as rivals, become friends, and then realize at different times that they like each other. These realizations hit at different times and Jake is able to set aside his feelings for Amy to support her. A healthy relationship is someone who is happy for the person they love whether they are with them or not. If you compare this to something like Twilight, Edward Cullen was so arrogant that Bella would never be interested in anyone but him that it didn’t matter when he told her she could kiss Jacob if she wanted to. Both Jake and Amy retained the original cores of who they are as people while growing. Amy still color-coordinates, but she’s learned to relax and let go of the uptight attitude she once had. Jake still pulls pranks but has grown up a bit and become less immature. When this couple does face conflict, they confront it together and work out their problems as a team. When a couple finally gets together, their relationship usually flatlines because the author doesn’t know what to do anymore (often because the romance is the entire plot and once you accomplish the plot.. Then what?) but because their relationship was a subplot, it stayed alive even after they got together.

Hal and Lois from Malcolm in the Middle are a great example of a good relationship. They knew each other so well, despite being very different people. There was respect. They were a team, and no one loved Lois like Hal did. That was always obvious. The scene where Hal and the boys go against Hal’s family because they made Lois cry is forever iconic, and they are a great example of a relationship.

Ben and Leslie from Parks and Rec are a good relationship. They both respected the other’s career goals, and never forced one into an uncompromising position. They learned to have a balance of love and careers.

Also, read but not explained: Rapunzel and Flynn Rider (Tangled), Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable (Kim Possible), Pam and Jim (The Office), Shrek and Fiona (Shrek), Percy and Annabeth (Percy Jackson), Gomez and Morticia (The Addams Family), and Santana and Brittany (Glee).

Allison and Luther from Umbrella Academy are a bad example of a healthy relationship. They are not goals. They should not be romanticized. If you have to say, “it isn’t technically incest,” you already know it’s wrong. Even Gerard Way himself has said that he regrets putting them together. He himself called it incest. It ain’t PG. Don’t use them as an example.

Allison and her ex-husband from Umbrella Academy are a great example of one person gaslighting and manipulating the other. We know from the show it’s implied she convinced and tricked him into falling in love with her. He created for him an entire world where nothing was real. It’s not a healthy relationship.

Literally, every relationship in Riverdale is a bad relationship. There is not one relationship that did not have abusive tendencies, manipulation, or one person whining about “protection.” None of them are it. Avoid all of them.

We have to talk about Twilight. Twilight’s Edward and Bella big mood bad relationship goals. Edward is overly controlling, obsessive, and needs a healthier coping mechanism. Bella herself changed her entire world to revolve around Edward to the point that New Moon has Bella equating her reason to live and self-worth as a person to Edward’s absence. She’s a great example of a character dropping everything they have for a boy.

Gossip Girl is also filled with unhealthy relationships. According to the Editor, who has seen Gossip Girl many times over, Chuck and Blair are a good example of a couple that can’t exist without some kind of drama. They break up other relationships, cheat on each other, and use other people to make their significant other jealous. If it isn’t something you would expect anyone to put up with in real life, don’t expect your characters to put up with it either. They both were incredibly possessive, Chuck actually attacking Blair for being with a different person (Louis) and ruins a perfectly good mirror. Dan and Serena from Gossip Girl are another example. Dan makes Serena feel guilty and like a lesser person as time goes on. He slut-shames her, talks about her, and when it’s revealed that he is Gossip Girl, we realize as an audience that he’s been saying terrible things about her for years. Leave the, “if a boy is mean to you it’s because he likes you.” crap behind. If a boy likes you, he’s going to be nice to you so you like him back.

Our final bad example is Jade and Beck from Victorious. Jade West deserved so much better. She was toxic and controlling, and Beck is a great example of gaslighting your significant other. He never claimed to have a girlfriend while many women would flirt with him. He never did anything to make her feel more secure in the relationship, and when Jade expressed concerns, he would tell her she was crazy or controlling when really she had every right to be (Beck x Tori). Jade knew the score and was belittled for it, and Beck let her get herself worked up and played directly into her insecurities.

Dictated, but not explained bad examples: Pam and Roy (the Office), Princess Bubblegum and Finn (Adventure Time), Matt and Karen (Daredevil), Joker, and Harley Quinn (DC Comics).

Next week is our last unit. Unit 9: Don’t Like, Don’t Read. We’re going to talk about constructive criticism, and why it is a wonderful thing that you should be open towards. Peer reviews are due in the comments in two weeks’ time. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.

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parabelled · 5 years ago

Note

3, 7, 9, 15, 18

booknet ask game (Apologies for the delay!):

3. what was the last book you rated 1/5?

Probably this horrific and justifiably priced 0.25 cent paperback I got from the library book sale. I care so little about the title I’m not even going to bother getting up to look at it, but basically it was somehow involving a mystery on a liner heading to New York, and The Kennedys circa 1941 when Joe (’God what a terrible person’) Kennedy was ambassador to England (And casual Nazi supporter/isolationist, lovely).

But the book promises you that it will mostly talk about Rosemary Kennedy as a character. Which I liked, because in case you don’t know, Rosemary Kennedy was JFK’s sister who was considered the ‘prettiest’ of all the Kennedy girls, but also constantly was on a diet because she ‘put on weight easily’ (Poor girl), and because she was seen as ‘simple.’ Supposedly when she was in her early twenties, she had the mental capacities or a naive thirteen year old/ writing level of an eight year old. They kept basically shoving her into boarding schools to try to push her forward in terms of education, but obviously when she most likely had something like a severe case of autism, there weren’t exactly many programs that directly addressed those who were learning disabled, and being a Kennedy, they most likely were like PUSH HER THROUGH IT AND SHE’LL BE FINE (Great, thanks guys).

All this being said, there is proof in terms of letters that basically everyone was afraid, because once she became a teenager, she started running away from these schools or sneaking out late at night, and they were literally worried because of how ‘naive’ she was, that she’d end up getting pregnant by some weirdo guy forcing himself on her/ convincing her to have sex. What most normal people/historians think now, is that she saw her brother being John F. Kennedy, El Primo Playboy of the World 1941, dating movie stars and having a buttload of friends (As my older brother used to say), and she obviously wanted to be involved in this glamorous, fun life with the rest of her family, rather than shoved away at some crappy boarding school with nuns the age of time immemorial (Understandable). (Also, for what it’s worth, JFK basically WAS a great older brother, for what I’ve heard, and wanted his parents to loosen up on her. He involved her in his social groups if she was around and never pushed her into anything that someone with her ‘limitations’ might be hurt by).

So of course the natural thing would be to do is to give her a lobotomy so she doesn’t run away, and of course, it had some horrific side effects and basically killed her personality entirely from all accounts, making her basically a human vegetable with only a shadow of the person she’d been before. After that Joe ‘I’m the Worst’ Kennedy carted his daughter off, and debatably, depending on who you ask, she was basically ignored by most of the family for 60+ years of her living in a care home, or embraced in private (The Kennedy message/propaganda/nice try guys). There’s really only consistent public photos of Ted Kennedy visiting her, because besides the whole ‘I accidentally murdered a woman I was having an affair with’ thing, Ted was the baby and seemed actually like ironically the most ‘Christian’ in the most broadest sense of the word besides Bobby Kennedy (Yes, I know they’re Catholic, it’s an analogy).

So bringing this back to this awful book, the ‘mystery’ on the cruise liner shit basically seemingly revolves around Rosemary pre-lobotomy and how she wants to get married to a ‘coloured jazz man.’ BUT THIS NEVER FACTORS INTO THE PLOT. NONE OF THE HISTORICAL FIGURES ABOARD DO EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE ‘POV’ CHAPTERS ASIDE ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.

You heard me right. xD I KNOW IT’S THE 1940S IN THE BOOKS AND THERE’S FAR WORSE THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE AND THE JAZZ MAN IS NICE AND ALL BUT DAMN IT’S SORT OF THE WORST, BECAUSE THEY BASICALLY MAKE THIS THE ENTIRE REASON FOR HER LOBOTOMY AND WHILE THEORETICALLY IT WOULD FIT IN WITH JOE’S MOTIVATIONS HISTORICALLY, IT JUST CAME OFF AS SUPER SKEEZY AND UGH. Mostly the book A) Actually did a considerable job giving Rosemary a sweet and loving personality that you like, but considering what you know if you’re probably reading this book and how they’re just dropping bread crumbs the entire way through, it’s just incredibly morbid and bleh.

If you’re going to write historical characters and fiction well, at least have something more to back it up than ‘Racism was more (outwardly) prevalent back then so she was going to be in an interracial relationship so lobotomy.” It just came off as conflating two important issues (The rights of the learning disabled to date and have families of their own, and interracial romances versus status in society), and just came out to justify it for a lobotomy we never even see. (Trust me, I’m making it sound far more interesting than it is).

Plus the mystery on the liner is the main aspect of the story, and I think that’s what makes it the worst: This author just chose to have these random historical figures on BECAUSE, and considering Rosemary’s background and what we know happened to her, it just seemed like a pretty desperate ploy to reel people in (like myself), and have them go, “Wait, this is just a sub-par mystery book, not a historical mystery book: She used that whole actual living person who existed and who was screwed over by her own family as ‘shock value’ and a ‘hook’ for the audience.” Double EW.

7. what was the last book that made you cry?

Indian Horse by Richard Wagamese, who is unfortunately no longer with us but a BEACON of Canadian Literature, and I'm SO sad he didn’t get to write more books, because his writing style is BEAUTIFUL and poetic.

“Saul Indian Horse is an alcoholic Ojibway man who finds himself the reluctant resident of an alcohol treatment centre after his latest binge. To come to peace with himself, he must tell his story. Richard Wagamese takes readers on the often difficult journey through Saul's life, from his painful forced separation from his family and land when he's sent to a residential school to the brief salvation he finds in playing hockey. The novel is an unflinching portrayal of the harsh reality of life in 1960s Canada, where racism reigns and Saul's spirit is destroyed by the alienating effects of cultural displacement.”

What you also don’t get about the book from this review, is the role hockey plays as being central to the narrative. In that moment, and when Saul is young, inside his own head, he is just what we as the reader see him as: A young boy who loves a sport and finds it freeing. A PERSON. A kid who loves hockey.

He’s so good that he has a chance to make it to the NHL. He’s good enough to play on the ‘white teams,’ but when he starts beating white players, grown men and women throw things at him, like plastic ‘Indians’ from a ‘Cowboy and Indian’ set.

He is a skilled player. He has raw talent. But to make it to the next level, and because they won’t let him be on the team in any other role, because a Native man can’t become a skilled star in 1960s Canada, he has to become a ‘goon.’ There’s actually a moment in the book where he snaps, and it’s so well written and heartbreaking, where it’s like this Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde dynamic inside of him, where he literally just goes, “Okay? You want me to be a bloodthirsty ‘Indian’? Then I’ll be that for you.”

There’s also a movie I haven’t had the guts to watch all the way through, because I tried watching it on a plane ride from Australia to Canada without actually having read the book first, and having no idea what the movie was about aside from hockey and Indigenous culture, and Jesus Christ IT KILLED ME. I’m terrible at flying, had been throwing up and thoroughly miserable for about three hours at that point on the plane, tried to turn on a movie to distract myself, and within ten minutes, I was like “No, I think sticking to the vomiting is justified.” (To give you an idea of the directing style, it’s bizarrely produced by uber-Republican yet ‘weirdly-obsessed with Indigenous people’ movie star Clint Eastwood. If you’ve seen his other films and how sparse and depressing they can be, you can only IMAGINE what this material lends itself to. So I’d really stick to reading the book first. Because Wagamese’s voice is so much stronger within the book, and the pain and horror poor Saul is exposed to serves a purpose within the larger narrative much more clearly, and even when he is an alcoholic, he still is able to find hope within himself and returning to his people, and that’s a beautiful thing that I think was lost in the portions of the film I was able to catch.) Check it out: It was only written in 2012, but it’s already being heralded as a ‘classic’ in Canadian Indigenous Literature.

9. do you actually check out books that have been recommended for you?

I do. I might not actually READ them, but I’ll at least check out a snippet on Amazon to see if it’s my cup of tea. So if anyone has any recommendations, go right on ahead <3

15. how do you feel about reading buddies?

I would love a reading buddy! <3 Feel free to message me if you’re keen. <3

18. what was your favourite book when you were 10?

Probably something by Roald Dahl or The Hobbit, if we’re talking sheer escapism or enjoyment (Or the original run of Harry Potter). My Dad is an English teacher, so I was always reading older books than were probably age-appropriate (I was placed at a college-reading level at twelve on an assessment test), so other than that, a lot of classic literature: Just name it, I’ve probably read it.

I also was a nerd who decided to read the entire dictionary back to front somewhere around this time and copy down all the words I actually didn’t know on a list, so that was a hobby. xD I guess I could count that as a ‘favourite book.’ (-Insert Homer Simpson “NEEeeeRRRddddd” gif here-).

#asteriah #sorry this took too long bb! <3 #answers #personal #literature

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writhingcreature · 6 years ago

Text

Why? ~ F.W. (part 7)

A/n: Forgot to do this yesterday- sorry!

Word Count: 7500+

MASTERLIST

I sat down slowly, eyes trained on the floor and lips parted in shock. I needed a second. Hermione and Ron were staring between Harry and me. I looked at him finally too, unsure if he wanted me anywhere near him. I felt a need to comfort him, but... I mean, I was surprised he hadn't just left me in Hogsmead. I waited for him to lash out at me. Yell or scream and push me away or curse me or hit me or something. Something other than just emptily staring straight ahead like he was a statue. Cold and empty.

Swallowing, I stepped forward. "Harry?" He slowly looked at me, his lifeless eyes landing on my face. The second he took me in, he began to move, and I braced myself for the hit. Hermione and Ron didn't even flinch.

He didn't hit me, though. His arms wrapped around me, and he buried his face in my neck. He was shaking. "Don't stop me," he barely whispered in my ear. I almost missed it. "I'm going to kill him. If he gets anywhere near me, I'm going to kill him. Don't stop me. Don't- don't hate me." His voice grew softer. "Please don't ask me not to."

At that moment, I knew what he was so torn about. He wanted to kill Sirius Black, but he didn't want to upset me. Even at this moment, he only cared that Sirius Black was my father in the sense that if he killed Black, I might be upset about it. I was shocked. He didn't hate me. He didn't even care. I hugged him back. "I never knew him. He never knew. And he's an evil man. Being related to him brings me no pride. I've only had a harder life because of it. I'm glad he doesn't know me. I- I hate him." My blood boiled. "I hate him for hurting you and your parents and for serving Voldemort with such pride. I can't believe he was their friend."

Harry relaxed in my arms, but my body went rigid. My eyes widened, and I sucked in a breath. Harry leaned away, concerned I'd been hurt or something. "You okay?" He asked, eyes looking briefly over my body for injuries.

"What was your father's name?"

"Wha-?"

"His name Harry, what was his first name?!"

Taking a step away, he looked confused and maybe a little irritated. I didn't blame him. "James. Potter."

I relaxed, shaking my head to clear the thoughts from it. "Right." But then another thought occurred to me and I tensed again. "Did you know that Lupin was their friend? Your dad and mum, my dad, and Lupin? When they were here?"

Harry nodded slowly. "Lupin told me he knew my mom. He told me a little about her." His face got a little dreamy, like being able to remember his wonderful mother, even though someone else's memory, was an experience he was happy for.

Trying to hide my thoughts, I nodded and smiled. "He told me the same. Well, about my dad at least." I frowned, my face puckering in distaste. "Until now, I've only ever been confused about how I felt about him. I was unsure, balancing between what everyone said and what it would mean for my lineage if I accepted and believed them. My sense of pride, I guess." I shrugged. "But no one messes with my friends. I promise Harry if he gets anywhere around me I'LL kill him. Okay?" Harry managed a little smile, nodding appreciatively.

We parted on that, but I didn't head back to my room like I said I was going to. I went to Lupin's room. I knocked on the door. "Come in," Lupin's voice allowed evenly. I moved into the office. I knew my face was dark. I knew my body language was full of hate for Sirius Black, but also maybe for this man in front of me. When he saw me, he paused, nearly greeting me happily if not for the murderous look on my face. "Liv," he offered uncertainly.

"Remus," I returned.

Lupin paused. "Not that I have any major objections to you calling me that, but I don't think it's proper, calling me by my first name when I'm your teacher." He rose his eyebrows, ever being polite.

My insides turned. "It's you." My voice was flat. "YOU'RE Remus?"

"My name is Remus Lupin, yes." He was confused by my reaction to his name. I didn't blame him.

Something clicked in my head. My head was filling with information from the essay Snape had given us, triggered by his name. His eerily perfectly fitting name. "Oh my god." I ran a hand through my hair, mind racing as I searched his face. His expression changed, and he looked back with a new expression. Exhaustion. He aged again like he did every time he was upset. I forgot how young he really was sometimes- especially when he wore that expression. I recognized the look as the one he wore that day he'd looked between Hermione and me after we first got the exams. It had been the way he and Hermione had looked at each other. He seemed so sad and old. Hermione had smiled after a second, and that was that. It was over. There were two huge things in my head that echoed and bounced around, screaming at me to run. To not trust the man in front of me. "You're a werewolf," I whispered. I didn't know if he really knew that Hermione knew, or if maybe he just expected, but his expression grew even darker, so I knew that his relationship with me knowing was different than his with Hermione knowing. I demanded an answer for him, silently, and after a second, he nodded slowly. I sucked in another sharp breath, this one slower. I nodded, mirroring him. I couldn't bring myself to care about it. It was still Professor Lupin. With his gum charms and his defense of Neville and his little rivalry with Snape. With his perfect classes that were always fun, only giving way when he became a wolf at the full moon and conniving, vindictive, Snape took over. "Professor?" He seemed surprised by my addressing him as such but stood a little straighter, ready for whatever I was about to bring to his attention. Him being a werewolf isn't what bothered me. "Were you in love with my dad?"

Lupin looked stunned and like he was about to pass out. "Sorry?" He croaked.

I flinched. "I'm sorry to bring it up, but... I suppose that's not actually my question. My real question is, do you suppose he was in love with you?" He looked at me like he was ready to cry, and I felt terrible. "I'm so sorry to ask. I can't imagine what I've made you feel. But you see sir, my mum left me this letter. When I was a baby. When she left me at the orphanage. She left me a letter, for when I was eleven that explained everything. That explained about me being a witch- a half-blood. You see, my dad was a pureblood, but my mum was a muggle. She told me that he liked her because of his family... they were terrible. They hated muggles. They were- they were really set on keeping the bloodline pure, so he used to flirt with muggles to piss them off." I stepped closer. "But you see, he actually had a crush on my mum. They went further than he usually did. My mum fell in love with him." The look on Lupin's face made me feel even worse. "Sir, please, don't be upset." I sighed, struggling.

"Don't worry about me, Liv," Lupin assured. "Continue. I'm fine."

My eyes watered, and I was relieved. Now I didn't have to see his face when I continued this story. "Well, you see, he didn't love her back. And when she tried to think about a future between them, it scared him away. See she knew she was pregnant, but she wasn't sure how he'd feel about it or what he would want to do. So she wanted to see what would happen between them first. And he left." I swallowed. "But he left for good reason, I think. He left because he was in love with someone else. Or, he told my mum he was. He told her- that he was in love with someone named Remus." Dead silence. "I've always wanted to meet you. I just- I NEED to know. I need to know that he really did love you. Even if he was a terrible person, I need to know there was some good in him. I need to know if my mum really was special, or if he went around shagging loads of girls just to retaliate against his family. And I need to know if he was really in love with you, or if you were just an excuse or another victim, or if he just wanted a sob story to tell my mum to get her to leave him alone."

It fell quiet. I wiped my eyes, taking in quick breaths and blinking fast to try and calm down. Lupin moved closer, sitting on the back of a chair so that he had something to lean against even though he was closer to me now, still giving me room. "Liv, your father and I were best friends in Hogwarts. He was..." he smiled a little. "Trouble." I scoffed, and he chuckled. The double meaning of that word in this context was genuinely hilarious. "When I found out about what he did to Lily and James... when I found out he killed Peter..." He grew sad again. "Peter Pettigrew was another in our group of very close friends. All in one night, all my friends were lost to me because Sirius Black was secretly evil." He looked so lost that a part of me filled up. The look on his face mirrored how I felt. "It was a shock. To everyone. For a long time, I refused to believe it. I refused to believe that Sirius of all people could-" He shook his head. After a second, he continued. "I did love him." He swallowed. "And I know he loved me, too. In whatever dark, twisted set his mind was in that night, there is no denying what we had. It' something I struggled with a very long time. How could I love a man who had done the things he'd done?" His words made me feel better and worse at the same time. I felt relief but also pity. For both of us, really. "I can't say he was a good man, but he was good to me. It wasn't obvious, what he did. It didn't appear in the look in his eyes or the curves of his lips when he'd smile. I've come to terms that there was a dark side of him he kept hidden until he no longer could. Now, it's taken over him. And all the good things? The good parts of him?" He stood up straight, placing a hand on my shoulder. "They moved to you as he lost them. He did the worst thing someone ever could, and he lost all his goodness when he helped make you." I began crying. "I see him in you. In only the good ways. In the way you fiercely defend people. How you can never keep your mouth shut. In the way you look at things when they irritate or puzzle you. In the way you face people like Malfoy. People you don't get along with. You have all of his best qualities. He may have messed up on a lot, but one of the VERY few good things he did was bring you about."

My smile was small and my face was wet when I whispered, "May I hug you?" Lupin nodded and I surged forward, burying my face in his chest. I let out a choked sob and he rubbed my back soothingly. He smelled distantly of chocolate and I wondered if he'd eaten some recently. After I calmed down a bit, I leaned away. I wiped my face as each of his hands rested on each of my shoulders. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He smiled. "It's getting late though. Return to your dorm, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded and moved away from him, going into the hallways and heading towards my room. I was exhausted by the time I reached it. Too many emotions had hit me today, between all the things with Harry and my dad and Lupin. Oh heaven, and what had happened between me a Fred too- a pleasant thing that seemed a million years away now.

I didn't even waste time to change into pajamas before I collapsed in my bed, hiding my face in pillows and sheets and falling asleep as I hid away from the world.

The next day was the beginning of the Holidays. Thankfully I'd packed a few days ago; otherwise, I would have been ridiculously unprepared for when Beth woke me up so she and Sam could say goodbye to me. I scrambled to get ready and gathered and said goodbye to my two friends before taking off to meet Cedric. "I was worried you weren't coming!" Cedric joked weakly as I approached. As he took in my scrambled appearance, I knew it was less of a joke than he was letting on.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I assured him.

I was never good with the Holidays. I had no family to enjoy it with, or even graves to visit and cry over or reflect on like most of the other kids at the orphanage. I didn't even get to have a break from school and chores like the others. Headmistress would always give everyone's work to me- I'd only learn later that she did it because of the whole squib thing. She'd been tormented by her magical siblings and their friends her entire life, and now she got her revenge by being horrible to me. Holidays were usually a time of misery and the most laborious work of the whole year... but Holidays weren't like that since I'd been to Hogwarts.

Waking up on Christmas morning was waking up to Cedric jumping on my bed, the blankets and pillows and mattress he'd slept on the night before strewn across the floor next to my bed. It was waking up to the smell of waffles and cookies and racing out in our pajamas with messy hair to see a tree and spooky decorations and presents and food and light that made the whole house seem to glow with happiness and warmth. It was waking up to Amos, who was grinning and greeting us with enthusiasm that you just couldn't fake. It meant waking up to a visit to the Weasley's because I'd been invited a few days ago via letter and had agreed to go.

Before I went, we opened presents. When Hermione had asked about it weeks ago, I'd told them to send any gifts they'd gotten me to the Diggory's, but I was handed only two- one from Amos and one from Cedric. I assumed that maybe they'd gotten busy or didn't forgive me for what my dad had done like Harry had. Harry was different. He wasn't into what the Wizarding World thought and felt and the things they did like his friends were. Hermione was so aware of everything because she learned and read about it regularly. Ron was because he had been born and raised in it and had parents that knew and talked about it. Harry had neither a personal desire or an outside source to hear information from, so he had no influence from the Wizarding World to get a grip on Sirius Black and what it meant to be his kid. He could separate parent from child. Most people couldn't. Maybe Hermione and Ron were part of most people. Maybe there was a limit to their kindness towards me. I wouldn't be surprised.

Cedric got me a magic spray can from Hogsmead- he still believed I hadn't gone. The can could turn into anything people usually sprayed, if I asked it to. Hairspray or silly string or spray paint. All I had to do was ask it and the label would go blurry and then clear and it was now whatever I'd asked it to be. He said it was actually something that had been influenced by muggle products- another thing that wizards had improved upon but used in a less drastic way. Afterward, Amos pulled me aside to tell me that Cedric was totally lying to me. He hadn't gotten it from Hogsmead- they had no use for the things that the can produced. Amos told me that Cedric had learned about some things in Muggles Studies and had found a can and worked tirelessly for weeks to figure out how to enchant it the way he had to give me something he thought would be the perfect present. The can was functional and cool just as a Muggle can, but with a wizard's touch, it became even better. I felt like the can was me. Good without magic; even better with. It was odd, feeling so close to a spray can. I was touched. It was the best present I'd ever received.

Amos gave me a Christmas sweater. It had a tree and presents and three faceless people that looked a lot like him, me, and Cedric. He told me he'd had it made since he had absolutely no talent with needles but I was grateful for it all the same. I hugged both of them in thanks and each was so homey and familial and amazing that it seemed to wipe everything else from my mind, presenting a clean slate.

Just as I was about to take the Floo Powder to go to the Weasley's, things in hand, Cedric and Amos told me they had something important to run by me. We sat at the table, my stuff by the fireplace as they awaited me, and Amos began to speak. "I was wondering," he began. He looked at Cedric who smiled, nodding, encouraging him. "Well, I think you spend a lot of time here as it is. You have made your place in our home. In our lives. In our family." I looked between them, a thought passing through my mind that I didn't dare entertain. "Well, it would never be the same if you left that place. There would always be a hole- just as there was a hole when Cedric's mother died."

My heart was racing. Among the other things that Christmas meant in the orphanage, Christmas was perhaps the biggest adoption time. People wanted to help orphans and they wanted to have family and they wanted to not feel alone. Married couples that couldn't have kids, or lonely hearts that couldn't find love. They flocked to give their hearts to those who had none to receive from everyone else. Children who had a house but not a home. Arms but no one to hug. A bed but nowhere to cuddle up and dream of Santa Clause and presents on Christmas morning. Every Christmas I'd seen kids clean themselves and line up after playing all day, their cheeks rosy and their smiles bright as the lonely and unfortunate filed into our halls to look at them. Every year, I watched kids be picked and taken to homes to be loved as I cleaned and cleaned and got yelled at. As Headmistress hid me because she hated my magical blood so much she refused me any and every happiness- especially the joy of having a family.

Now as I sat there, I saw two people who truly felt like family. Oddly enough, Amos felt more like an uncle than a father, but Cedric did feel like my brother. He had from day one. He had protected and guided and helped me. He had loved me. He had treated me as a little sister and had only ever been happy when I thought or referred to him as my brother. This was my home. I'd never had a home before. They were my family, just as much as Harry had begun to feel like.

When Amos stopped, trepidation in his eyes, Cedric continued. "Do you want to join our family in the eyes of the world, same as you've joined it in the eyes of us?"

I was shocked. I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Amos put a hand on my shoulder. "I know there's a lot going on right now." His voice was gentle. "I know you're feeling a lot and have a lot on your plate. You don't have to answer right now. Take your time. Even if you say no, we won't be upset about it. I know it's a lot to take in and it would be a huge change for you. You can have the rest of the year even to think about it. I only expect an answer this Summer. Your Headmistress has demanded that you return this Summer, which is what prompted us to adopt you." He put his hand on my shoulder. The gesture had become something that people did to make things personal. I'd only ever had Lupin or Amos or people like them do it to comfort and keep me close without invading my space. It felt like something people in my new, better life did to address me as a person. No one had ever done it any other way. Now it made me feel incredibly loved. "I'd never thought of it before because I never imagined you not coming back to us, but I refuse to see you back in a place where they treat you as terribly as they do. I'd never let my kid stay in a place like that. My- my family." He blushed and I grinned.

"I would love to," I whispered. "But this is very overwhelming and I won't lie, it'll be a big adjustment. I..." I let out another breath. "I would like to take that time, to think and let it sink in. That way, you won't have to have me around, unadjusted to it and such." Amos nodded and Cedric grinned.

When I stood, Cedric pulled me into a hug. "You ready to me Liv Diggory?"

I let out a laugh that sounded near a sob. "I would love nothing more."

That's when I headed to the Weasley's. The first face I saw was Fred's and the first hug I received was from Mrs. Weasley. "Are you alright, Love?" Fred asked after his mother finally gave me over to him.

I nodded. "Amos offered to adopt me." My eyes watered. "I'm going to have a real family. A family that's MINE. Not a friend's or a group of kids my age that has become my family. This is going to be a family where we all have the same last name and goal and house and traditions and-"

Fred pulled me close. "That's wonderful." Everyone had heard and they all grinned and congratulated me. Ron suggested I write to Harry and Hermione to tell them the amazing news so I did, sitting down immediately to do so.

I'd sent their Christmas presents yesterday - I'd gotten Hermione book one of a series that had kept me sane as a child (The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan) and Harry a necklace that I'd made. The string was made of yarn that was green and red; Christmas colors, but also representative of our friendship and how it brought our houses together. On the string was a key and a ring. In the letter I'd attached to the necklace, I told him about my adventures in the garden of the orphanage and how I'd found the key that lead to a hidden door in the ground. It might have been a shelter or a storage from before the building was used as an orphanage and I used to go there all the time to hide away. To read and play in my imagination, by myself, making things grow on accident and playing with animals that shouldn't have been tame but were because I'd magically trained them without knowing it. The Headmistress had had it filled in with cement and dirt when she'd found it out but I'd kept the key as a memory of fun and freedom and escape from the horrors of my life. The ring had been another thing I made, except this was from my childhood as well. People used to come in with necklaces and rungs bearing a family crest. Me, without a family, had made one up and wore the wire ring like it was an heirloom. Both of these things I'd put on the string because they were used to find solace in a dark place in my life. But, Harry had given me a new level of safety and happiness that I hadn't ever even dreamed of having before. I gave him the key and the ring on the string because he was an even better reminder of what family and friendship could offer me. I would never have better adventures or safer places than the fun and safety he gave me when he talked to me and accepted me and looked at me apart from my father.

Ron's present had been hard. I'd felt like it wasn't as meaningful as the others'. It was a joke book. Thick and older, from one of the stores Fred and George had taken me too. It had a faded red cover that reminded me of Ron's hair, and the jokes inside I knew Ron would enjoy. However, when I went further into the house, I saw Ron sit next to a book that was turned upside down, opened, as if someone had set it down while they were reading, leaving it open as to not lose their place. Ron picked it up and I saw it was the joke book I'd given him. As I talked to Ginny, he moved to the kitchen, coming back with a bookmark in his place before setting the book down with dare, moving over to join us. I guess I'd been right to give it to Ron; he did seem to love it.

Ginny was wearing the flower crown I'd made her. I'd enchanted it so the flowers would never lose their smell or be damaged or die. She grinned when I commented on it, ranting on and on about how much she loved it and how excited it made her. She asked me if it had been hard and I lied, telling her it was something we'd learned in class. Ron gave me a sideways look- he knew that I'd researched in all my spare time for several days with Hermione and Luna to try and figure out how to get the crown just right. I shot him a look, though, and he kept his mouth shut.

I'd given Mrs. Weasley a cookbook that had all kinds of muggle and wizard meals in it. I saw it resting on the counter, opened to a page, and it warmed my heart. Arthur, I'd gotten a book with loads of information on Muggle objects and their function and how they're made. It was a bunch of instruction books and informative and explanatory articles and news clippings and book sections I'd found and put into a blank book- another spell, but one that Cedric had given me so it hadn't taken as much time and effort. As I talked to Ginny about her crown though, he ranted about how amazing the "Field Guide to Muggle Messes Vol. One" book was and how he'd showed everyone at work that would still long enough to hear more than one word about it. George joked that the whole family hated me for giving him something to annoy them further with, but everyone laughed so I knew it was in good fun.

When I asked about Fred and George and how they'd liked their presents, they both grinned at me. When they'd taken me to Zonko's and showed me around, they'd talked briefly about some of the dreams they'd had about owning something like that place- but better. An epic joke shop full of crazy things they'd invented themselves. With how amazing their minds and magic were, I believed wholeheartedly that they could do it. To prove it, I'd made them each homemade versions of the Chocolate Frog cards. There were moving pictures of them on each of the cards, with their names below the picture and description below it.

George's was about him being an amazing friend and brother- most well known for opening the most epic joke shop with his twin brother and becoming one of the most successful people, at an age that broke records across the board. The youngest, most successful, happiest wizard- who shared the title with his twin only.

Fred's had been around the same until I made last changes to it, adding about how he was handsome and known for falling for none other than the daughter of Sirius Black, breaking hearts from all lands as single girls pined after him and sighed because he was taken by someone most people hated. It had been a little self-deprecating but I put it in to leave a little hint. I guess it was my way of flirting while still making it something a reporter would say. Dramatic and ridiculous.

As George mentioned his card and how much he loved it (he'd been using it as a bookmark to every book he interacted with so that he could see it every time he studies or read or anything. He'd been thrilled anytime someone asked about it, following his dad's example of showing it off as much as possible, but so fully as to bother people with it), I looked at Fred. He was already looking at me, a smirk on his face. I blushed. "And how did you like yours, Fred?"

Everyone looked between us. I wondered if maybe he hadn't shown it to anyone, leaving the joke between us only. His eyes bore into mine and I found my own lips curling in a smirk to match his own. "It was perfect," he finally added. "I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas present." Something flickered through his eyes and I wondered if he was maybe thinking of other things I could have given him. I tried not to show how much the thought genuinely appealed to me as flashes of mistletoe and eyes closing and soft lips meeting flashed through my mind. I looked away first as someone coughed. Everyone was smiling at us, curious but in a way that most of them guessed the gist but wondered at the details. His hand brushed mine as we all walked toward the tree. My smirk turned into a shy smile and I felt my face burning terribly.

"When Fred told us you were coming over, I figured it would be a waste of time to mail you your gifts, so I wrote Harry and Hermione- they had yours sent to our house as well," Ron explained as he directed me to a little corner. My eyes widened. There were five differently sized gifts and I was speechless. I looked at Ron with surprise and he smiled wider. "What? Did you think we'd forgotten about you?" I looked away, swallowing, and something in his face changed, just a bit. Grew a little sad. I felt guilty for ruining the high mood in the room.

Changing the subject, I sat down to open the presents- the others had opened theirs this morning already, so everyone gathered around to see my reactions to everything. Mrs. Weasley explained hers as I took it out- a sweater with an L on it. "I didn't know if you wanted a Y or an L but they all say you preferred Liv so..." I saw everyone else wearing sweaters like it. Ginny had one with a G. Ron one with an R. Fred one with an F. So on. I changed out of the one I already wore, realizing she'd made an offer of family and friendship in the same way Amos had, but she'd done it through tradition and work of hand rather than just meaningfulness. The sweater was green, the letter silver- a suggestion from Mr. Weasley. Everyone else's had Gryffindor vibes, with reds and golds and tans and all sorts of shades in between. Fred complimented how good it looked with my green eyes and I loved it even more.

Ginny and George had paired up to get me a quill who's ink could change colors- Ginny's suggestion but something George had been the one to find.

Hermione had gotten me a children's book full of Wizarding stories. Ron told me it was from both of them since he'd helped her think of what book to give her after she'd told him about our conversation about books when we bonded over our love to read. I laughed, telling him that I'd gotten her a book too. He teased us about being nerds.

Harry had gotten me a drawing of a green eye. It had a message on the back of the paper that had been in an envelope. 'Had someone draw it for me- from one green-eyed orphan to another.' "He didn't know what to get you," Ron sighed as I looked at it, fingers tracing the curves and edges gently. "He told me that he wanted to get you something that reminded you of how similar you two were. Something you could look at and remember your friendship and stuff." He shrugged.

I whispered, "I love it." Ron didn't seem to get why but he let it go.

Fred handed over the last present, telling me it was from him. I looked at the others and he rolled his eyes, motioning me to open it. Sure I was blushing again already, I did so. I stared at the object for a second, stunned. It was a hairpin. It was silver with little green gems in it. Suddenly the others were making excuses to leave and I giggled, watching them scramble to go. George sighed, telling us to be safe before standing and leaving. Leave it up to him not to BS the situation, keeping it straight forward but also still considerately polite. When I looked back to Fred, he'd moved significantly closer. He took it gingerly from me, my skin tingling from where his hands brushed mine. "I like when you wear green things," he told me quietly. "It reminds me of how good you are. How much you've changed my view on Slytherins. It reminds me that there's good in everything. Everyone. Reminds me to keep my mind open and my mouth shut." He smiled as he slipped it into my hair. "And you look really pretty in green, with those eyes of yours." I blushed as he placed it, letting his fingers brush my jaw as he moved his hands away from my hair. "Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas," I returned. I leaned away, cocking an eyebrow. "You didn't go and get me some expensive gift just so you could tell me my eyes pretty did you?"

He laughed. "Don't worry yourself. It's actually sort of an heirloom. No one in my family wore or liked it. It remained in this box, untouched for who knows how long." He rolled his eyes. "And it's not like you could sell it for any kind fo worth. It's just metal and fake stones. But I thought it would look nice in your hair. And I was right."

I leaned over, kissing his cheek. "I like it a lot, Fred, thank you." He nodded, his cheeks red as I imagined my own would be.

The rest of the Holidays was wonderful. I spent it with the Weasleys, writing to Cedric to tell him about how everyone loved their gifts as well as the ones that had been waiting for me. I tried to be vague about my interaction with Fred since I knew every time I mentioned the boy Cedric would roll his eyes and talk about how I was too young for boyfriends and romance. The last day of break before we were to return to Hogwarts was pleasant. We all sat around and chatted about the week. Every time I came they told me something new about the Wizarding World. They'd already showed me everything odd and non-muggle that was around the house but they thoroughly enjoyed the questions and wonder on my face when they told me new things about the world I'd never known. I was like Mr. Weasley but intrigued by the Wizard part of my life instead of the Muggle part. Since they knew about wizards and such, they were only too excited to tell me about it.

After dinner, everyone began to head to bed. Ginny had pinned her crown on the wall, unsure if she wanted to take it to school where it might get damaged. That's what we were talking about when Ron finally replaced his bookmark in his joke book - the only book I'd ever seen him read - and head to bed. That left her, me, and Fred. I saw him steal a glance at me before returning to his after dinner clean up his mother had assigned him to. "I think you should take it," I finally told Ginny. "If it gets damaged, I can fix it. You look far too adorable in it to save it for just at home. And it works for winter too since the flowers are white!"

"Oh my gosh, you're right!" She cut off, yawning. Then she looked over at Fred. She paused, slowly looking over at me and then back to him. When she looked at me again she was smirking and I blushed. "I'm gonna go to bed." She said it slowly and Fred snorted, amused, his back still to us. She winked at me and I pushed her away. She left, laughing.

Fred didn't look at me as he continued as if he hadn't been cleaning at a ridiculously slow pace just to be able to have a moment alone with me as he did now.

I stood, leaning against a doorway. My eyes flickered up and I smirked. "I'm going to head to bed too."

Fred turned around, eyes wide. "No!" When he saw my smirk he tried to reel it back in. "I mean, this is so hard and I don't want to deal with it alone. Come tell me jokes or maybe help me or something? It's so boring to stay up all alone."

Without speaking I nodded, helping him put things away and cleaning dishes. He didn't even suggest the use of magic which is what really gave him away. While we cleaned his hands and shoulders kept bumping mine- a product of both of our efforts. After, I returned to the same doorway, wiping my hand on a towel to dry them after doing dishes. "Okay, NOW I'm going to bed." He frowned, not meeting my eyes. I knew what he wanted and I knew he wouldn't try for it out of respect for me, and I think that was what convinced me. "Can I have a goodnight hug from my best friend?" I asked, opening my arms. He chuckled and approached me, obliging my request. He pulled me against him, our bodies curving as they always did to accommodate for the height difference. When he went to pull away I tightened my hold on him, allowing enough room only for him to look at me as our noses lay maybe inches apart. "Oh look," I whispered, not even looking up. "I didn't notice that mistletoe before. I guess we've been caught under it."

His eyes widened as he looked up. Sure enough, the decoration we'd (mostly me, because even if they were the others' parents I'd always wanted to have friends to do this to and the twins were only too willing to fill my want for some pranks, even if they looked away and dramatically gagged as their parents kissed cheeks and foreheads and laughed at their sons) been teasing Mr. and Mrs. Weasley about all break, getting them under it and then making them kiss (stress on forehead and cheek kisses. I thought they were being too nice, sparing their children the embarrassment, but I knew the others were more than grateful.). Now it wasn't Mr. and Mrs. Weasley though, and as Fred looked back at me his eyes were shining and his grin was wide. Despite his excitement, he softly asked, "Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes, pushing myself closer by going up on my toes, my fingers slipping into his hair as he let me push him closer to me as well. "If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have stood under the mistletoe and brought you to me in the first class, now would I have?" I spoke against his lips and he shivered.

"I guess not," he mumbled.

He didn't move and I nudged his nose with mine. "Kiss me, Fred. Please."

Whatever was holding him back snapped and he closed the distance so hard - even with so little room - that my feet flattened on the floor again. Our lips parted as I was accidentally pushed away but Fred chased me, our lips meeting again. The shock of the initial kiss passed in that separation. When our lips met again, I was ready. I inhaled sharply through my nose, eyes shut tight, kissing him back fiercely. His body pushed against mine, pressing my back into the wall behind me. It was heated and passionate and fast- tension and feelings (that had been building slowly over the years but rapidly over the last week or two) finally being released in this action. One of his hands held my waist, fingers digging into me. The other hand rose to rest against my neck and jaw, his thumb brushing over my cheek.

His tongue ran over my bottom lip and I parted my lips in surprise- I'd never felt something like that before but after all the heat of his breath and his skin, the air on my now wet lips was cool and it made goosebumps rise on my skin. He took that moment to deepen the kiss. I'd never kissed anyone before, so to have both a normal kiss and a french kiss for the first time in one sitting was quite an experience. I didn't regret it though. I was glad it was now. Glad it was him. Here. During the best Christmas I'd ever had and maybe would ever have.

There was a part of being a horny teenager that didn't allow heated kisses like this to stay innocent. So, after I realized the thoughts that were flickering through my mind were also most definitely passing through his as his pointer finger began to trace shades against my hip, I pushed him away. He let out a breath, blinking hard as he tried to control himself. "Sorry," I whispered. My words were breathy, mangled by my fast breathing to make up for the lack of air, before. My head spun.

"No," he reassured me, both hands on my face now. "Don't be sorry. It's not your fault." He laughed breathlessly and I knew the feeling. I took in his slightly mussed hair, flaming cheeks and swollen lips. I never wanted to see him in any other condition than this as he tried to gather his thoughts after I put him in such a messy state. "You should go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" I nodded and he pulled me after him, guiding me to Ginny's room where they had a floor bed like the one Cedric made in my room for Christmas nights when we'd stay up and tell stories and jokes until we were too tired to stay awake anymore. He kissed my forehead. "Goodnight love."

We were both calmer now and I stepped away from him, my head racing on a track now as I reflected on what had just happened and the things it had awaken inside of me. Lordy. "Goodnight Fredward." He chuckled and stepped away. I stopped him, squeezing his hand- we'd been holding them as we walked. He smiled at me before pulling away and moving to his room. I watched him go before clumsily opening the door behind me, tripping into bed.

I don't think I slept that night. I just lay there in bed, in a half-asleep daze, forever smiling and blushing and remembering. My feelings flared and I realized Fred Weasley was dangerous. The perfect amount of danger. The kind I chased. My kind of danger. I knew I would chase him anywhere. He had me hooked, wrapped around his finger. And you know what? For once in my life, that didn't scare me one bit.

Taglist: @reddie-steddie-go

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 6 years ago

Text

Why? ~ F.W. (part 6)

A/n: LMAO HEY! I'm sort of binge writing this. I'm trying to fit all I want to in this year but so much is happening, that's why it's so long. MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES OOF!

Word Count: 6800+ (it won't ever get this big again I'm seriously SO SORRY)

MASTERLIST

With some serious relief, the first study group of the year took place. I dragged my feet, knowing that Fred would be there and pretty sure Cedric would be too. If Luna didn't show up though it really would break my heart. I liked her, a lot. Fred bumped into me in the entryway into the library. I smiled at him and he returned it, both of us going to the usual table by the window to wait for the others that may or may not show.

"Heard you're the only Slytherin Snape hates," Fred began. Before I could be downtrodden by it, he laughed. "It's amazing! You really have to be sticking it to the slimy git calling myself a teacher." I smiled, laughing myself. "Really, I can't believe you! Are you sure you're not a Hufflepuff? Or a Gryffindor?"

"There ARE good Slytherins."

"Good looking ones maybe."

"Oh and I'm supposed to feel flattered by that?" Despite my instant bite back, I did feel warmth under my skin and I couldn't stop smiling. "You think you're such a hot shot don't you, Weasley?"

"Are you saying I'm hot too?" He wiggled his eyebrows. I only realized how close we were then.

"There's that Gryffindor arrogance I'm always hearing about," I hummed, rolling my eyes. Fred winked.

"Okay, five feet apart you two." We looked over to see Cedric. I light up like a Christmas tree. "I'm late for the first time ever and leave you alone for five minutes and you're already about ready to start snogging." I went to argue but Cedric wasn't done. "I was expecting this from Fred, but you, Liv? Come now!"

I was giggling as he sat down. I looked at the fourth chair, still empty. My smile faltered.

"What have I missed? Why does Cedric look ready to tell Fred off?"

My eyes snapped as Luna glided over, a spacey look on her face. I don't think I've grinned so wide in my life. "Luna!"

She smiled at me. "Why do you seem so surprised to see me?" She sat across from me in the empty chair, Fred to my right and Cedric to my left.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Well..." I looked at her through my lashes.

She gauges my expression for a second, the atmosphere becoming a little more serious. "You know a lot of people spread nasty rumors about me. And my dad. Especially my dad. They don't think I hear, but I always do. About how we're crazy. About how I shouldn't be here." I wondered how many of those people were Slytherin. "Most don't say it out loud, but even the odd glances and the way people tend to avoid me in classes and in the halls doesn't go unnoticed by me." I frowned. She smiled. "I don't care what people say. And I don't care even if what people say is true. I like to judge people on what they do, not who they are. I think people are so focused on what my dad does and how he's raised me to be that they ignore everything else. It's very unfortunate."

My expression became soft. I slowly looked at Cedric and he nodded. I glanced down at my books, trying not to grin. "I have an essay to write by Monday," I announced, my voice a little shaky. "What are you guys going to be doing today?"

And that was the end of it.

The month passed nearly as it had begun. I learned to ignore people who said bad things about me and my friends. Malfoy and other Slytherins and other kids from other houses too, like Ravenclaw and even Hufflepuff's who were suspicious of whether I was a bad person. Most Gryffindors had been in class with me or interacted with those who had been, or were friends with twins. Between my friends and my classmates, the Gryffindor house all approved me, waving and nodding and all around greeting and acknowledging me in a positive way. With Cedric's help, the Hufflepuff's seemed to be easing off on me too. I didn't know what to do about them except let them make up their minds. It seemed they trusted Luna's word as much as they trusted my own.

Defense Against the Dark Arts became the best class- Potions became the worse. I had a month's detention before Hermione taught Neville some breathing techniques to calm him down. I suggested he pretended Snape was a Boggart and that seemed to help the most. Every time he mumbled, "Riddikulus," to himself, I tried not to smile too wide.

Care of Magical Creatures was drop-dead boring and I was left with Beth and Sam to crack jokes and try to keep the mood light. Sam and I made the best jokes, Beth's laughter fueling the good vibes and fun. They made it at least a little bearable. Every weekend as well I had Luna, Cedric, and Fred. Sometimes George would join us, sometimes Sam, sometimes Ginny. Sometimes people would come up to Cedric to ask him for a favor or advice or for help, whether his friends or people from other houses or younger houses looking for guidance. He always promised later though, reserving this time for us alone. Cedric and Fred seemed to be the best as lightening up a mood, bolstering my confidence. Luna and I kept getting into debates that left Fred and Cedric staring at us like we were talking in another language. We forgot homework more often then we should, sometimes to listen to Fred's prank stories or the different creatures Luna had learned about from her dad and the Quibbler. Fred and Cedric didn't seem to totally believe her, but I loved the idea of everything she said and listened and asked questions none stop. Every time I was down Fred was there to cheer me up. Every time I was angry Luna was there to calm me down. Every time I got stressed Cedric was there to remind me to take a break and eat something, drink some water. But I started to notice them form friendships too.

Luna had begun to offer ideas to Fred when he was stuck on details of implementing a prank. Cedric kept lecturing Luna on how it wasn't okay for people to be teasing her and hiding her things the way they did. Every time she got into detail, Cedric bristled, ready to fight. I was the first to speak, offering to clobber some heads. Cedric would then agree to help, Fred jumping in with some vague ideas. Luna would shoot down all of his ideas smoothly, pointing out the flaws in each and reassuring that it was fine and that she was used to it and she didn't mind. It was when they found out that I was getting it bad too that Fred and Luna teamed up with a plan that had me genuinely worried for Pansy Parkinson, who had become the Draco Malfoy equivalent to my Harry Potter. We were at each other's throats as often as the boys, except I was so much more vicious than Harry was, and there wasn't a Gryffindor or Ravenclaw or even a Hufflepuff to calm me down or hold me back- just Sam and Beth, who were nearly as ready to tear into her as I was.

October came as a morale booster. Everyone forgot about Sirius Black and stopped teasing me about him altogether. Quidditch has started. Fred was so excited that he had us all promising to cheer for Gryffindor... as long as they weren't against our own house. Cedric told us about becoming Seeker for Hufflepuff and the two began to joke about beating each other and whose team was better. It was quite amusing to me and Luna, who didn't play the sport.

Harry was stoked about it too. Between him, Cedric, and Fred (even George was up in spirits, and Malfoy seemed to be laying off too, too focused on something constructive to pick too many fights, which got Pansy to calm down as well), I was flying high.

And then came Hogsmead.

I hadn't the heart to tell Fred I couldn't go. He was too excited. Cedric already knew. When I hadn't gone to the orphanage once during the Summer, he'd asked me if I was going to get my Hogsmead form signed. I explained that the Headmistress would never agree to let me do anything that would remotely lead to happiness if she could help it. He suggested maybe Amos could sign it but then agreed that he wasn't a parent or legal guardian so I reserved myself and he let it go for my sake, offering to hang out when everyone else was gone. I demised that too, later on when we actually got to Hogwarts, realizing I'd like to have the time alone.

I'd escorted Sam and Beth out. "You guys have fun enough for me too, yeah? Promise?" They promised and then Beth hugged me before the two left, waving at me sadly. Someone stepped up next to me. I looked over. "Harry?"

He smiled weakly. "Dursley's. Can't go."

I tried not to smile too wide. "Me neither."

He was trying as hard as I was not to grin. "Cool. Wanna hang out then?"

"Yeah, I'd love that."

So we wandered. First, he suggested one of the common rooms but in his, I would be unwelcomed and in mine, he'd be vehemently hated. Even if I was good, there was no way a Slytherin would be allowed to know where the Gryffindor common room was and how to get into it. So, he suggested the owlery instead. "I can introduce you to Hedwig!" I laughed and agreed and we were headed over when a voice intercepted us.

"Harry?" Hardy pulled back to see Lupin. "Oh and Ylva as well!"

"You can call me Liv, Professor."

Lupin nodded. "Where are Ron and Hermione? And Sam and Bertha, of course."

"She goes by Beth actually."

Lupin's smile grew. "I'm flattered to be entrusted with all these nicknames, but I'll accept only her permission to use it." I nodded. He was such high quality of a person, I couldn't understand how the state of his robes could be the focus for people.

"Um, they're at Hogsmead," Harry answered and I realized I'd missed the question by interrupting. I smiled sheepishly but Lupin didn't seem to have noticed.

After thinking for a second, he offered, "You guys can come in. If you want."

I looked to see Harry had an odd expression on his face. I recognized it after a second. He had a question. I decided to give him privacy as he'd given me privacy when I'd last talked to Lupin. "Actually Professor, I have homework. Harry was good enough to offer to spend time with me but it's very important stuff. Keep him busy so I don't feel guilty about ditching him will you?"

"Hey!" Harry called as Lupin laughed, all of us smiling.

"I will try to be as good a companion as you would be. Liv." He used the name in a way that made me buzz with happiness.

"Catch up later yeah?" I offered Harry. He smiled and nodded.

I made my way instead to the library after stopping at my room to grab my school things. I had my work all splayed out, pulling one close to begin working on it. Just then none other than the Weasley twins plopped down to either side of me. "Hello," they greeted at the same time.

A smile already on my lips, I shook my head. "It's rather every when you do that you know."

"That's why we do it," George joked. "Just to bother you."

I laughed. "Look, I love that you're available to hang out with those unfortunate enough to be unable to go to Hogsmead but you guys I really have to do my work.

"We'll help you," Fred offered. I shot him a dubious look. "We will!"

Looking at my papers, I thought for a second. Then I sighed. "Fine. But you HAVE to focus on work, I need to get this done."

"Deal," they agreed, once again simultaneous. I shook my head again but we began. I'd be lying if I was saying that getting help from two people two years older wasn't a significant relief.

"It was... cut? Like, the painting?"

Ginny nodded solemnly. "It was dreadful."

"Do they know who did it?"

My question seemed to knock her instantly silent. She looked away, down at her hands on the table. "Oh what you haven't heard?" Cake a high, nasty voice. I set my expression to be dark and hateful as Pansy plopped down next to Ginny who scooted away even when Pansy left significant space between them to begin with.

"What are you on about?" I demanded.

She smirked. "Sirius Black was in the castle. He slashed up the painting with a knife. He was furious when the Fat Lady wouldn't let him in. Probably going to kill that FRIEND of yours." She sneered the word like it tasted bitter in her mouth.

I tried to stay calm. Harry had been updating me on everything to try and prevent this exact moment but I hadn't learned this yet. "That's terrible," I managed. Ginny shot me a wide-eyed look at my nonchalance, surprised I seemed to care so little about it when nearly everyone knew by now that not only was Sirius Black my father but also my boggart. "I'm going to check on that friend of mine right now actually. Ginny, do you want to come?" She nodded. Pansy looked murderous that she didn't get the reaction she was so aiming for. I was getting better at controlling myself and it drove the people poking fun at me crazy. Snape included. That had been a relief.

When I saw Harry I called to him. He turned, relieved to see me. "Liv I have to tell you-"

"I already know," I sighed, shaking my head. He shit me a worried look at my exhausted expression and I explained, "Pansy Parkinson."

He flinched. "Great." I silently agreed, sarcastically.

Ginny looked guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before she did. I... I..."

"I understand," I reassured her, placing my hand on her shoulder and smiling softly. "No worries, Gin." She relaxed. "Don't you have class in a bit? Dear heaven, get going! I keep forgetting your schedule."

She huffed. "You and Harry have class too."

"Yes," Harry agreed. "Care of Magical Creatures, which we gave together. So we can stay and talk- you can't." She sighed as I nodded, agreeing with him. She then left, leaving us alone. Harry caught my wrist as I began to head toward Hagrid's hut. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I motioned my head forward and he began to walk by my side. We were quiet until we were nearly all the way there. Thinking of him, here, so close... "Are you?" I asked. "Knowing he was so close? Got passed Dementors and Dumbledore both, undetected?"

Harry frowned. "I heard you have a study group with Cedric Diggory and Fred Weasley."

"And Luna Lovegood," I added. He shot me a look that let me know he hadn't heard the name. "She's delightful."

"I think I'll join it," he concluded. I waited for him to explain why. He finally said, "I think you and I should stay close this year. I need someone who really gets what it's like to... to feel as strongly about him as we do."

"Of course. You're welcome anytime." He smiled at me and that was the end of it. I was glad he'd be around more. He was becoming almost like Cedric to me, but more of a younger brother than an older one. Which was odd, since he was about a month - give or take a week - older than me. Funny how that works out.

Nothing was worse than when I came to Defense Against the Dark Arts and Snape of all people was teaching it. I white knuckle clung to my desk the whole time, forcing my eyes to stay on my book as I gave him no reason to interact with me. I was too at ease in this room, my self-control was tainted. When it was over, I wasn't even upset about the extra homework we'd been given, I was just glad I had something to do when I got out so I could keep busy and forget about his snide remarks and biting insults and snapping attacks on Hermione.

I hated him. I really hated him.

To everyone's surprise, the first match was Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. I'd been dreading it as I watched Harry, Cedric, and the twins take to the sky at once- four people I all cared about very deeply. If I thought about it, it made sense to cheer for Gryffindor- I had three close friends versus one. But I refused to pick a favorite just because there were more on one team when I knew it would crush Cedric if I cheered for them. So I simply cheered for every goal. Slytherin hadn't shown up today, allowing Gryffindor and Hufflepuff to have the room. Luna, Sam, and I were the odd ones out in the stands with Gryffindor, the three of us cheering for both teams. The Gryffindors didn't seem to mind despite where we sat and let us do our own thing.

I was having a good time before Harry fell from the sky, fallen off his broom. I screamed on the top of my lungs, racing forward so that Dean Thomas and Luna had to catch me so I wouldn't fall over.

I was so worried that everything seemed to be moving quickly, me running to catch up with the Quidditch team as we all raced to the field to see if Harry was okay- Ron and Hermione were right behind me. Soon he was being transported to the Hospital Wing where the team and Ron and Hermione crowded around him and I stood a bit away, pacing anxiously.

"He looks a bit peaky."

"A bit peaky? Well, he did just fall over a hundred feet!"

"Harry!" That was Fred. I spun to face the bed, relief flooding through my body.

"What happened?" His voice was weak, a little groggy- go be expected. But it WAS his voice. He was okay enough to speak. I moved close to the group didn't have to push through as they moved over with ease to let me in. "Liv. Hi." I smiled at him. He seemed relieved I was here. We'd become each other's comfort people it seemed. It was nice that he felt the same relief I did when I saw his face.

"You feel off your broom," Fred said.

"We thought you died," Alicia squeaked. Hermione made a wet sound close to a whimper. She had been crying. I placed my hand on her back. She leaned into my touch a bit, relieved by the show of friendship.

Harry shook his head. "But the match." Absolute silence. We all looked away. "We didn't... lose?" Harry demanded, obviously upset.

Hermione stood. "No one blames you, Harry. The dementors aren't supposed to come inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you he sent them straight off."

Another pause. "Erm, yeah, Diggory caught the snitch," George added. "Just after you fell. He didn't realize what had happened. When he looked back and saw you on the ground, he tried to call it off. Wanted a rematch. But they won fair and square... even Wood agrees."

Harry looked at all the faces around him. "Speaking of, where is Wood?"

"Still in the showers," Fred answered. "I think he's trying t drown himself." I buried my elbow in his side. "Ow!"

Harry ignores her attempt, placing his face in his hands. I sighed, sitting next to him. "Oh Harry, it's not your fault. You can't win every match."

"You've never missed the Snitch before," Katie added.

"There had to be at least once you didn't get it. Otherwise, you'd make the rest of us feel like slackers. Think about all the Seekers in the past and those to come. Poor kids can't live up to someone who NEVER misses."

"Plus it's not over yet," Fred threw in, and I was glad for the addition. He and George began to go back and forth about ways they could still win, but it didn't seem to be helping at all. Madame Pompfrey finally came over to shoo the team away. "We'll come to see you later," Fred told Harry. "Don't beat yourself up, you're still the best Seeker we've ever had." Harry managed a weak smile.

"I have to go too," I sighed. Harry frowned. "I'll be back with the others later as well. I'll bring you chocolate from Lupin- you know that'll cheer you up."

"Okay see you later," he sighed. Ron and Hermione waved to me and I nodded back before jogging to catch up to Fred.

"Hey," he greeted as if surprised to see me.

"Hey," I said back. He looked at me but I didn't say anything more. I just reached down and took his hand. Too much had happened recently. Sirius Black entering the castle. Severus Snape ruining the one class that held my spirits up. Cedric was mad about the match. Harry was upset they'd lost, and he had yet to find out about his broom. The dementors were getting brave, coming into the grounds to chase down Harry personally. Between all of that and Hardy nearly dying, I need comfort that only seemed to come just the way I needed it from Fred Weasley.

He didn't say anything about it, just let go to take off his playing glove before taking my hand again, interlacing our fingers. That felt better. I walked him to the hallway I knew lead to the Gryffindor common room before stopping. "What's wrong?" He asked me.

"I don't want to know where it is. The common room." He went to argue but I held up a hand. "Not just because Gryffindors would be opposed to it, but because I don't want to be blamed for Sirius Black getting in. I've been surviving off the fact alone that I don't know where the common room is or what the passwords are. People have already tried to accuse me."

He looked as if I'd slapped him across the face. He pulled me into a hug. I melted into him instantly. "I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It's absolute rubbish."

I smiled. "I know. Thanks for making it easier to bare."

He chuckled a bit. "Anything for you." He left a kiss on my forehead and then headed to the common room, leaving me to turn around and head back to my own. I didn't go back tot he dungeons though. I wanted to talk to Lupin.

"You went to see Lupin?" Harry asked.

I nodded. "He wasn't there though. He might be back now." After a gruesome while, Harry was finally out of the hospital. He got a look on his face. I pulled his shoulder to stop him, gently. He'd asked Ron and Hermione to give us a moment and I was thinking it was more than asking what I'd been up to while he was gone. "What's on your mind?"

He didn't even pause before jumping in to explain his worries about the Grim. Seeing it that night when he ran away from home, before the Night Bus, and again in the clouds before the Dementors got him. He then told me about Divination and how Professor Trelawny had seen it in his cup. "I think it'll freak Ron out and Hermione doesn't believe in it even an inch. I was hoping maybe..."

"I'd think you weren't crazy?" He nodded. "I understand your concern. And I do believe in omens and Divination, surprisingly." I smiled weakly. "I happen to be a lot more open-minded than people would have thought. So, no I don't think you're crazy." He seemed to melt in relief. "Harry." He looked at me. "I want you to stay by my side, okay? I don't mean to bother but I'm really worried about you. You're like my little brother- I don't want you to end up dead."

He glowered at me. "I'm older than you!"

That made me burst out laughing. It eased the tension immediately. Trying to pull myself together I stepped closer. "Seriously though. Stay close, okay? I feel like every moment you're gone I'll just be worried about you."

"Alright mum," he mumbled. But the look on his face reminded me of the one he'd had at the beginning of the year when Mrs. Weasley gave him an extra hug that she didn't know he knew he needed. He liked me playing big sister, even if he'd never admit it. "Sure, sure, I'll stick close."

I grinned. "Good." I reached out and messed his hair and he screamed at me to stop, sending both of us laughing again.

When Lupin returned it was a relief. After some rabble from the class, he promised to talk to Snape about the assignment and getting it done.

When Hermione moaned, her sounds were met with my own as well. "Professor, Liv and I worked so hard on our essays. We wrote them together- we finished them!"

That made Lupin smile.

The lesson was refreshing too. Just like Lupin's classes always were. Just like Defense Against the Dark Arts should always be. When it ended, he moved to me and Hermione. "I'll think about giving you two some extra credit." He chuckled. "If that's not allowed then I'll give you points. I'm glad you've decided to do your work and so well, I might add. That should be rewarded. He seemed to be looking into our eyes, searching for something. He found it in Hermione's. Whatever it was though didn't worry him as much as he'd apparently thought it would have been he smiled and excused us, stopping Harry for a private word beforehand.

As I passed him, Harry gave me a look. He'd tell me about what was being said later. We liked nothing more than to confide in each other. Talk and bounce ideas off of each other. It was nice. I didn't even feel like I was bothering or forcing him to do it. I felt the room smiling.

He told me about the private lessons learning the spell Lupin and I had used on the train. "He suggested you come along since you're already started. He thinks you and he could team up to teach me. He thinks what you know might help what he doesn't know."

"I don't know, Harry..."

"Just think about it? He won't even be doing it until after the Holidays. People are heading back to Hogsmeade- we might start then, just you and me. It would give us something to do."

I smiled. "I'll think about it."

That pleased him.

Comforting Cedric on the terrible loss again Ravenclaw was hard when Harry was so happy about it. It means that Gryffindor wasn't out of the running, but Cedric was still devastated. I tried my best to be both sad and happy about it at the same time.

I was relieved when the Holidays cheer came, talk of the Hogsmead grip before the end of term and Christmas cheering everyone up from everything else going on. With Hermione and Ron staying, I decided to go on Holiday with Cedric, making the small family there a little bigger.

Before Christmas though was Hogsmead, which meant Harry and I were stuck alone again. We didn't mind, though neither of us was in the mood, after all, to be thinking about Dementors and the charms to ward them off. After seeing off our friends, I talked him into making snowmen with me. After we finished, much more cheered up, we began to head back inside to warm up when we were stopped by sharp noises. "Psst! Harry! Liv!" We followed the voice to see none other than Fred and George Weasley, peering at us from behind a statue.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Aren't you going to Hogsmead?" Harry followed up.

"We've come to give you something before we go." They ushered us closer and we followed, all moving into an empty classroom next to the statue. George closed the door softly and then turned, nearly glowing he was smiling so wide. He handed Harry a... piece of paper? Harry and I exchanged confused looks. "What's this rubbish?" Harry asked.

George scoffed. "'What's this rubbish' he says. That is the key to our success! We've memorized it by heart so we don't need it anymore- figured you could use it though."

More confused looks. "What am I going to do with a bit of old parchment?"

Fred looked genuinely offended, looking to me as if I was going to tell Harry off, but (to his furthered offense) I was just as bewildered. He scoffed. "Go ahead, George."

George took out his wand. pressing it to the folds of the paper. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Slowly but surely, I filled the paper, appearing from where George had tapped it and then expanding. My eyes widened and I gasped.

"Mersus Wormtail, Mooney, Padfoot, and Prongs are pleased to present the Marauder's Map?"

"We owe them so much," Fred acknowledged with an almost wistful expression. I guessed the twins wished they knew just who to thank for all the mischief help.

Harry opened the map. "Hang on- this is Hogwarts," he realized. I moved closer, looking down as well. He paused. "And is that... no-"

"Dumbledore," Fred interrupted.

"In his study," George jumped in.

"Pacing," Fred added.

"He does that a lot," George finished.

I was speechless. I gingerly took the map from Harry and he let me as he continued to ask questions. "This map shows-"

But again the twins didn't let him finish. "Everyone." Fred again.

"Everyone?" Harry doubted.

"Everyone," George confirmed.

"So this map shows everyone?" Harry realized.

"Where they are," Fred continued.

"What they're doing."

"Every Minute."

"Of every day."

"Brilliant!" Harry piped in between the twins' back and forth.

"Wicked," I agreed under my breath, still looking at the names as they walked about. I saw our names and grinned.

"Now, there are seven secret passageways," George went right on. They had a purpose to this, after all, passed just giving Harry the map. "We suggest-" Fred began.

"This one." They said at the same time, pointing to the one they meant.

"The one-eyed witch one. It leads right into Hogsmead. You better hurry too, Filtch is in his way over." Free pointed out Filch coming this way as he spoke.

"Oh, and before you go. When you're done with it, just give it a tap and say-"

"Mischief Managed." They spoke this at the same time as well. After they did so, the ink faded until it was gone and the map turned into a blank page again. I whispered words of awe under my breath. This magic was brilliant.

"Otherwise anyone could read it," Fred added after the ink was all gone. We began to head off before Fred called my name. "I was wondering if you wanted to come around with me and George, once you got into Hogsmead."

I shot Harry a look but by the way he was looking at Fred behind me betrayed that there was something I was missing. "I'll be fine. You can let me live ONE day, can't you?"

I smiled. "Sure. But you have to tell me everything that happens. I have a terrible fear of missing out."

He nodded. "Cool. Let's go."

After loads of sneaking around and staying deadly quiet (Harry went and got his invisibility cloak, which I was stunned to actually be able to see in person), we were finally inside the one place we'd so desperately wanted to be. He told me to meet him and at what time so we could sneak back without getting caught. I separated from him, seeming out Fred and George. It didn't take long, as I lingered curiously in front of Zonko's joke shop. That's where they found me.

They showed me all the best parts of Hogsmead. The haunted house and the candy and the tricks and the Three Broomsticks. I was swirling with so much enthusiasm and excitement I kept forgetting names, but in the end, I was pleased all the same.

When we got into the Three Broomsticks, George was suddenly antsy. "I actually have, erm, a friend of mine to find. Lee, you remember him? Well, we've got this stop to make to... to stock up on stuff for- for pranks." He was struggling it seemed but he got it out in the end.

"Oh okay," I sighed, a little sad I hadn't gotten to stop in the warmth of the place and drink the Butterbeer I'd heard so much about. "Let's go then."

"No!" Fred intervened, a little too loud. I jumped. He tried to ease up. I wondered what was bothering him. "You haven't tried Butterbeer have you?" I shook my head slowly. "And you didn't prepare properly- you're probably freezing. You and I can stay here and George will go along. They don't need us. You have to have the full Hogsmead experience. So much to do and so little time."

George seemed to be okay with it so I nodded. "Okay."

Now that we were alone, Fred seemed to be very... close. He kept touching me, offering me his jumper when I kept shivering, to put over my thin sweater I'd meant for the castle. It was cozy and warm and a little big on me- I loved it. The Butterbeer helped too, warming up my insides. I noticed Fred put his arm around the back of my chair. A thought occurred to me.

"Fred?" He hummed, looking over. "Is this a date?" We'd ben close and touchy before but this attentiveness and proximity and the way he was acting felt so different.

He looked at me carefully. "Do you want it to be?"

I thought about the little moments between us since we'd met. Especially this year. The flirting and how it was so different than when he talked to other girls. Different from how he even flirted with other girls. It seemed so much more sincere with me. So much more insistent, as if by telling me I was pretty wasn't actually the message he was conveying. I thought of his awareness of me. His concern. The time I'd thought he was about to kiss me while he was trying to comfort me. I thought about how I usually hated to be touched. How with all my other friends it was usually only brief hugs or taps to get my attention or reassuring hands on my shoulder or someone messing up my hair. Never long lasting. Never anything that lingered or brought us too close together. Except for Fred. Fred could touch me as much as he wanted. He could be close to me, despite my preference for having my own bubble go space with any other person. Even Cedric. Even Luna and Harry. Even Sam and Ginny and Neville and Beth. Even George.

Did I have feelings for Fred past friendship?

I frowned, looking up at him. He was waiting for me patiently, giving me time to think. "You know I've never... fancied someone before," I said slowly. "It would be hard to be with me, like that. In any way similar to THAT. I'm not good at emotions and a lot is going on." Fred's arm began to drop off my chair. I caught his hand. His eyes met mine again. "I'm not saying I don't- that I don't feel- I mean, you are different. For me. From everyone else. I'm just saying, you could probably find someone who would be a lot easier to be with."

He leaned close. "I don't want someone easier. It was you I helped sneak into Hogsmead because I wanted to bring you here and get you alone." A smile pulled at my lips as I saw the second plan behind what Fred had done. I wonder if maybe that's what the exchanges between him and George and the expression I hadn't quite grasped on Harry's face. Was I really so oblivious that everyone else knew? That it was so apparent to everyone but me.

I looked at the table. "I don't know how I feel about any of this. There's already so much going on. I couldn't handle figuring out feeling and everything on top of it.

Fred paused before nodding. "I can take things slow."

He was playing with my fingers. I chuckled a bit. I looked at our hands and so did he. "How did you know?"

He thought for a second. "I think it was right before I met you actually. I mean, that's when it started, and I thought it was nothing. It was weird and startling. You had just been Sorted and we were being... rude." He flinched. "I saw you freeze. The hurt on your face. It was weird, to think I cared about what a Slytherin felt. And then I met you and we got along so well and you were so strong-willed and outspoken and confident. I realized that the feeling - the different thing that I felt for you - was... well at the beginning of this year when you came out of Harry's room I felt... jealous." I frowned. "Do you have feelings for him? I mean... If that's one of the things that make this complicated."

I ducked my head to catch his eyes. My smile was warm. "There's no one else. I just have really good friends. It's hard for me to get attached to people, Fred Weasley. I don't know how you did it." He smiled a little.

After a pause, he asked, "So we're taking this slow." I nodded. "How slow?" He seemed to be struggling and I realized that we were close again. The butterbeer and the warm atmosphere and us talking about this, in the position we were in... I wasn't THAT daft.

"No kissing," I whispered, my heart ramming painfully against my chest at the thought. He nodded, patient and understanding. I was surprised by the reaction until I noticed him swallow hard and realized he was struggling very much. It made it almost even better than he was.

I leaned forward slowly, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek. He looked up at me as I leaned away. "I thought you said no kissing?" He teased, a smirk resting on his lips

"On the lips," I clarified, smiling. "I'm not ready for that yet. But you've kissed me on the head before and I think that's fine." He pulled my hands up, kissing my knuckles. I smiled wider. We finished up as the sun began to fall, signaling that I had to get back to Harry. "Thank you again, for agreeing..." It felt unreal as we walked out of the Three Broomsticks. He kept looking at me and in his jumper, it all felt so different. Our hands were intertwined but this felt different too. It all felt more personal. More... more. Just, more.

I couldn't say I hated it.

"Anything for you, it seems." He tugged me, pulling me closer, and I blushed.

He walked me to where I was to meet Harry, kissing me on my forehead before dropping my hand. "Oh," I realized, going to take off his jumper.

He held out a hand. "Keep it." He had a sort of dreamy smile on his face. "You look good in it." I blushed even more and he chuckled. "Maybe I like seeing you in my jumper." He moved closer, his finger slipping along my forehead to push a strand of hair into place. "Is that okay?"

I nodded. "That's okay."

We parted ways then, though I could tell he very much wanted to kiss me. It already felt like so much was happening, I couldn't breathe. I was glad he didn't press it. In fact, the more he gave me space the more I found myself adoring him. There was so much more for him than anyone else and I came to Harry with rosy cheeks and a warm and smile and a sort of out of focus gaze.

When I saw his expression, my happiness drained from me. "Harry? What happened?" He looked at me like he was halfway between punching something and crying. A sense of dread filled me. Oh how quickly happiness could be destroyed. Oh, how fleeting good feelings were.

"I'll tell you on the way."

Tag List: @reddie-steddie-go

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as-write-as-rain · 5 years ago

Text

Once Upon A Dream (remix) - Chapter 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: A Sleeping Beauty/Winter Soldier remix, featuring the reader as a SHIELD agent who might have powers (or just a really finely tuned intuition)

Warnings: None. If you’ve seen and enjoyed the Captain America films, you shouldn’t find anything troubling here.

The second chapter of my Fairy Tale AU for @moonbeambucky’s 5k Writing Challenge! I’d hoped to get it out sooner than this, but I’ve been under the weather.

Chapter 2

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!”

You were just heading out of the locker room, ready to get home and take a nice long bath. It’d been a long night, and even though you’d managed to catch some sleep on the jet, you still had a few too many bruises for comfort (thanks to some Algerian goons). But when you heard Natasha call your name, you paused and held the door open, waiting for her to catch up.

She gave you a grateful half-smile when she reached you, and you nodded in response as you started walking again. “How’s your back?”

She grimaced and stretched. “Eh, I’ll be alright. At least Rogers took most of the damage by crashing through the window first. Yay?”

You chuckled. “Must be nice to have super healing.” You glanced back over your shoulder, but the hallway was empty behind you. “Did he head home already?” Even as you asked the question, you felt a twinge that told you the answer was going to be no.

Sure enough, Nat was shaking her head. “He made a beeline for Fury’s office as soon as we landed.”

Now it was your turn to grimace. “I did notice he wasn’t happy when you guys got back to the jet,” you admitted. “I guess Fury will have to finally tell him about the project now. They’ve been putting it off for too long, anyway.”

Nat sighed. “Yeah, probably. I don’t think he’s gonna like it, though.”

That was the understatement of the century. “Probably not,” you agreed. You’d reached the garage, so you stopped next to your motorcycle and started putting on your helmet. “I’ll check in on him later, make sure he’s doing okay.”

She smirked and gave you a little wave as she sauntered over to her car. “Have fun.”

You scoffed a mirthless laugh. “Of course!”

As you’d predicted, Steve showed up at the Smithsonian exhibit in his honor early that afternoon; you’d noticed it seemed to be a favored destination whenever he was feeling unsure about where he fit into this modern world. He was wearing his classic “disguise” – a baseball cap – as though the top of his head was the only thing that identified him as Captain America.

Yet, it somehow seemed to do the trick; as usual, the patrons of the museum were more focused on the exhibition than on the people around them, and with the exception of one small, observant child, he maintained his anonymity. Perhaps it was because the exhibit always made him out to be something larger than life – so when he slouched in here in a nondescript cap (Cap in a cap, ha!), he was so unassuming that nobody even looked twice.

He didn’t blink an eye when you silently fell into step beside him. He’d noticed early on that you had a strongly developed intuition and you tended to follow it unflinchingly. It never steered you wrong, and you had learned to trust it – and by extension, Steve trusted it too. You appreciated that about him: that even if you couldn’t explain how you knew something, he always went with your gut anyway. That’s the kind of thing that makes a person a great team member.

And the fact that he never once treated you like it was something weird or creepy…well, that’s the kind of thing that makes someone a great friend.

You’d shown up mostly to be a comforting presence to Steve, so you didn’t impose yourself upon him or force him into conversation. You could tell that he just needed to know he wasn’t alone; other than that, you left him to his own thoughts. While he was preoccupied with his soul searching, you kept a casual eye on the crowds, and every now and then perused one of the displays. Most of them you knew by heart, and you had the video loops memorized from all your previous visits to the museum with Steve. Yet, as always, your heart stuttered when the section dedicated to James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes came into view.

Mindful of the heat rising to your face, you tried vainly to ignore the memories that flooded your mind – if recalling moments in a dream could even really be considered memories. Thankfully, Steve was too lost in his own head to notice your discomfort, and you took the opportunity to study the picture of Bucky obliquely. His eyes looked every bit as soulful as they had last night in your dream, but for some reason his hair in these pictures (and the footage) always looked weird to you.

What was it about this guy anyway, that made him such a frequent figure in your sleep? He’d been dead for 70 years – the words on the wall made this fact very clear, as did Steve’s haunting retelling of the memory that often kept him awake at night. Yet your mind couldn’t seem to accept that truth, and by now you had grown accustomed to his near-nightly presence in your dreams, for the most part.

Normally, a recurring dream would be a warning or a signal about something you needed to look out for – an omen that something was about to happen, or a sign that you needed to interpret. At least, that’s how your dreams used to be, when you were growing up. At this point, you could only vaguely remember what it was like to not dream about Bucky.

And these dreams weren’t technically recurring either. They were different every time, and the only constant was the presence of James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. A man you’d never met, the long dead best friend of your best friend, a stranger who didn’t feel at all like a stranger. You felt like you knew him intimately – because you’d seen him, talked to him, interacted with him, pretty much every night for the last decade or so. He felt like a real person to you, and your adventures felt like real memories.

Hell, you felt significantly closer to him than you did to most people in your waking life.

Sure, sometimes Steve appeared in your dreams, too, but he was never the focus – which was strange, given that the two of you were so close in real life. It was always more like a cameo appearance, a side character; and most of the time if he did show up, you still barely even interacted with him. Bucky was always the focal point, no matter what else was going on in the dream.

The whole thing was just…weird. You couldn’t make heads or tails of it. And you’d certainly never mentioned it to anybody else. What were you supposed to say? “Hey, you know your best friend whose death traumatized you? I have lovey-dovey dreams about him all the time – long before you and I met, actually.” Yeah, no. That conversation would be super awkward, not to mention pointless; it wouldn’t change anything, other than making Steve feel uncomfortable.

And who else could you tell? Natasha would jump all over you and tease you about it, and anyone else…well, you couldn’t be assured that word wouldn’t get back to Steve. After all, Bucky was his friend, someone he actually knew and cared deeply for. For you to dream about him was the equivalent of dreaming about a celebrity, someone you’d never actually met and only knew about through second- or third-hand stories. And if people knew you dreamed about him pretty much every night? They’d think you were more than a little obsessive. And honestly, who could blame them?

Shaking your head to clear it, you tried to bring your mind back to the present. You filed into the darkened alcove behind Steve, and joined him on the bench to watch the much-loved interview with Peggy Carter. This was the room that Steve generally spent the most time in, and you could probably repeat her speech verbatim if someone asked you to. So, in order to keep your mind off the things you really didn’t want to think about right now, you set yourself an objective: trying to count how many times Director Carter blinked during her interview.

Outside the museum, you and Steve checked out one of the food trucks lining the Mall, then sat down on a nearby bench to enjoy your treats. A cool breeze blew across the grass to ruffle your hair, and you spied a handful of colorful kites soaring high above. Down closer to the Washington Monument, a trio of college students tossed a Frisbee back and forth. To the rest of the world, it was a lovely late spring day, perfect for relaxing: sunny and warm, but yet not close enough to summer to be hot. You would have loved to join in, if it weren’t for this pesky foreboding that wouldn’t seem to leave you alone.

Steve smiled with nostalgia as he opened his Cracker Jack box. “I can’t believe they still make this stuff,” he mumbled, pouring the mix into his hand and shoving it in his mouth.

You grinned. “Does it still taste the same?”

His expression turned thoughtful as he crunched. He took another mouthful to be sure. “I feel like it tastes even better than I remember? But it’s not like I got to eat it all the time,” he hastened to add. “It was mostly a special occasion food, saved for ballgames and stuff.”

You nodded in understanding, and tore open your package of Astronaut Ice Cream. You’d bought it in the Air & Space gift shop while anticipating his arrival; it made for a great snack, and you didn’t even have to keep it cold. Sure, it tasted a little like cardboard, but the flavor had grown on you somehow.

The two of you munched in silence for a bit, watching the chattering crowd of schoolchildren who were amassing nearby. Harried teachers were attempting to wrangle them into organized groups, desperately counting heads to ensure all their charges were present. Some of the less-obedient children were running around harassing mobs of pigeons, frightening them into flight like feathered bowling pins. You chuckled at their antics, but Steve remained pensive.

“Did you know?” He eventually asked. He kept his voice low, out of habit; one never knew who could overhear.

You didn’t have to look at him to know exactly what he was asking, but you attempted to make light of the situation. “About Cracker Jacks? Yes, I’ve actually been an expert in eating them since early childhood.”

He snorted. “It’s called Cracker JACK. Singular. You wouldn’t call it ‘pop corns’ would you?” Bantering with Steve was always comforting; but before you could do more than smirk in response, he dropped his voice again, adding, “And you know that’s not what I was talking about, Y/N.”

Behind your sunglasses, your eyes casually skimmed the vicinity, making sure no one was near enough to listen in. “I knew,” you admitted quietly. “Fury briefed Nat and me at the same time. I warned him you should know too, but he made me promise not to say anything. He wanted to be the one to tell you.” You dropped your gaze to your silver packet of half-eaten pink styrofoam.

Steve sighed. “I don’t like it, Y/N.” He folded up his Cracker Jack box, and tossed it into a nearby trashcan with casual skill, as though it were perfectly natural to throw something that far with barely any effort. “But I suppose you already knew that.”

You nodded, studying him out of the corner of your eye. He didn’t seem angry, or even upset. He just seemed…morally troubled. His struggle was intellectual, rather than emotional – though no less agonizing. You put a comforting hand on his arm, hoping to reassure him. “I don’t like it either, honestly. The whole thing gives me a bad feeling.”

He frowned. “Well, that makes me feel even better.”His sarcasm made you bark a laugh, even though this was no laughing matter.

“I’m not going to caramel-coat it, Steve, something is going on. Something just beyond what we can see.” You leaned forward, elbows on your knees. “Precisely what, I don’t know. But I’m working on figuring that out.”

Steve let out a long breath you hadn’t been aware he was holding. Slowly, he stood, wiping the crumbs off his hands. “Well, I guess I’m just going to have to be patient. If anyone can get to the bottom of it, it’s you.” He beamed at you, and you returned his smile. You felt honored that he had that much faith in you.

You just hoped you wouldn’t let him down.

He bid you adieu, saying something about visiting an old friend. You knew exactly which old friend he meant, but you let him have his privacy. It’s not like you were interested in tagging along – and besides, you had a mystery to solve.

After he left, you slumped back against the bench with a frustrated growl, clenching your fists. The crinkle in your hand reminded you that you had yet to finish your snack, which perked you up immediately. You popped another piece in your mouth while you ruminated over the evidence at hand.

The mission yesterday had gone mostly to plan, but you’d been having a strange feeling for awhile now that had increased acutely while you were on the Lemurian Star. What was Jasper Sitwell doing on a launch ship in the middle of the Indian Ocean? What answers lay encoded in that data that Nat stole from the ship’s hard drive?

Your sixth sense was going crazy, filling you with an uneasy dread and the certainty that something bad was on the horizon. But what? And what would be the best course of action to take, if you wanted to avoid it – or, at the very least, minimize the damage?

As you crunched away, you tuned into your deeper intuition, trying to determine the root of your growing alarm. Suddenly you stopped mid-chew, nearly choking on the vaguely-strawberry space dust as you gasped at a sudden impulse: you needed to call Director Fury immediately.

Or better yet, Maria Hill.

#taras5kwritingchallenge #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #fairy tale au #marvel #once upon a dream (remix)

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mobius-prime · 5 years ago

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199. Sonic the Hedgehog #131

Deep breaths, guys. I know what the cover page says. I know. We'll get to that. Just hang in there. I think you might like what I have in store.

Home (Part 2 of 4): The Gathering

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

So not much actually happens in this installment of Home other than the various characters talking to each other about and preparing for the upcoming battle. Since Sonic has been gone, a new Freedom Fighter Special has been constructed that can cut travel time dramatically around the globe. A journey that in the Tornado or on foot (in Sonic's case) would have taken up to two hours can be completed in a mere half hour now, thanks to Rotor's engineering prowess. And thus, Sonic and Tails head out to Old Megaopolis to stop Eggman's twin nukes from launching, along with an… interesting backup team, to say the least.

Man, remember Fiona? It's been ages since we've seen her! It appears that while Sonic was in space, she joined up with the crew in Knothole and has been helping them fight Eggman. That's definitely a better life for her than to be running with the likes of Nic the Weasel, eh? Meanwhile, Knuckles, Julie-Su, Amy Rose, and the other two (active) members of the Chaotix head to Fort Acorn, where General D'Coolette is giving a speech to the soldiers under his command. We've never even heard of this fort before, but according to the general it's been here for ten years, keeping a forward watch on Robotropolis, and this watch has been maintained even after Robotropolis' destruction in case of just such a situation as the current one. With their reinforcements from Knothole, the crew at the fort prepare to defend the city against a massive swatbot assault to lower the forcefield keeping the radiation in check. Back in Knothole, extra measures are being taken to make absolutely sure that even if the worst happens, the citizenry will be safe.

Station Square, for their part, has sent a squad of GUN commandos to help in the battle at Old Megaopolis. The commander of the military is baffled by this decision, wanting to send in their full fighting force, but the president instead opts to trust his allies from Knothole - though just for insurance, he's sent one of his own operatives along for the ride…

Now that's what I like to see! It's about time Rouge got herself some proper screentime. As all this is going on, Eggman waits aboard a docked battleship in the harbor of Old Megaopolis with his assistant M, and orders A.D.A.M. to begin the missile countdown. However, almost immediately, the sound of a biplane puts them on high alert, and Eggman is shocked to see Sonic and Tails bearing down on his location, not having expected them to be able to get here nearly so fast. See, Eggman, this is why you resist the siren call of your ego and keep your damn plans to yourself. All you did was give your enemies ample warning to prepare to foil your evil plot, you idiot!

Mobius 25 Years Later: Prologue

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jensen

Okay, guys. This is it. We've reached the most Penders thing of all time. This is something that has been hinted at here and there from all the way back in the Sonic In Your Face special to now, and we're finally seeing the culmination of all of that buildup. All the intricate worldbuilding, all the complex character arcs, all the intrigue and political spider webs and back to back wars and everything that the world of Mobius has been through up until now - there's so much to explore, so many directions it could have gone. We're about to see what this world might look like twenty-five years into the future, and with so much rich history to draw from, what might you imagine this story might look like? What genre might it fall into? Well wonder no longer!

It's a drama. It's a teen drama.

There's a reason that Mobius 25 Years Later is widely considered to be one of the worst parts of the comic. The tone of it is just so far off anything else we've experienced so far that it clashes horribly with what we've come to expect. It's not some masterful subversion of expectations or something - in a lot of ways I consider it to be a genuine insult to the rest of the preboot's material up to this point. It's painfully and immediately clear that this is a story Penders has wanted to tell for a while, but, not being able to fit his "middle-aged adults adulting everywhere and being so adult-like while ignoring the feelings and difficulties that ordinary teenagers face" plot anywhere into the rest of the comic, he's opted to just fire the world a couple decades into the future, pair all the major characters off into weird and oftentimes arbitrary heterosexual marriages, give everyone 2.5 children and a titanium picket fence, and then throw in some allusions to the old "war against Doc 'Botnik" here and there lest we forget, entirely understandably at this point, that we're reading a Sonic the Hedgehog comic here. This thing goes on for nineteen whole issues, taking up each subsequent issue's backup story, and ultimately has no real impact on the actual story involving the characters we already know and love. However, this is technically canon, or at least a version of canon (as when you play with alternate realities and multiple timelines, futures are bound to get mixed up here and there), so we're gonna be covering it - all of it. I wouldn't be tempted to skip it anyway, as by delving into each chapter in this trainwreck, we can actually explore why this whole thing fails so hard, and why it's therefore so loathed in the fandom. Plus, I do recognize that some people actually do enjoy this arc for various reasons (one of my close friends does, and has a whole AU of her own relating to it in fact), so I do plan to at least try to be fair in my review - but I really can't hide that I find this whole affair boring as hell, often downright offensive, and ultimately completely out of place. With all that in mind, let's dive in!

We begin with a full page of exposition delivered to us via high school lecture, because everyone knows the best way to establish your worldbuilding is by infodumping it directly into your audience's eyeballs. Apparently, over the last twenty years, Angel Island has been heavily developed into its own independent republic, with a new city, Portal, acting as the center of trade between the island and the mainland below. We're once again introduced to Lara-Su, who, instead of being the badass time-traveling young adult whom we followed before, is now an ordinary teenager taking ordinary high school classes among a bunch of ordinary high school echidnas.

One of the biggest failings of this story is that Penders writes every teenage character how he thinks teenagers act, from his point of view as a middle-aged adult. This becomes abundantly clear the longer you read, as every teenager is a hormone-fueled, authority-defying, entitled, whiny, fickle child who just doesn't understand how the real world works, while every adult is a wise, experienced, and highly logical individual who always knows more than their younger fellows and refuses to pay attention to the whims of mere children. Like, I'm not even exaggerating here - I'm going to be pointing out every instance of this kind of behavior over the entire rest of this arc, and you can't stop me, so nyah nyah. Penders shows so little respect for the mere concept of teenagers, which is a terrible attitude to have not just in general, but especially if you're one of the head writers for an entire series about teenagers saving the goddamn world! Anyway, case in point: the teacher, instead of admonishing Rutan for being a bully, merely snaps at Lara-Su for not acting enough like a "young lady" and tells her to stay after class. Ugh.

Later that day, Rotor arrives on Angel Island as a liaison for the royal ruling couple, Queen Sally and King Sonic, because yes, Sonic literally becomes king in this timeline. He catches a ride from Harry - hey, good to see our favorite dingo still doing well for himself at least - and meets with Espio, who is now apparently Knuckles' secretary or something. At least, that's all I can assume from this weird-ass conversation.

As a matter of fact, yes, Sonic and Sally are bringing their two children, Sonia and Manik, to the family dinner! How very mid-70s domestic family unit of them! Espio informs Knuckles of this over a television screen as the latter broods around in some kind of high-tech facility. Unlike what we've seen of Espio, the years have dramatically changed Knuckles' appearance - his right eye is missing, replaced with a mechanical one, and he sports the cowboy hat that Hawking gave him in the past (you know, the one we never saw again after he received it). While I actually quite like the idea of a main character in the comic losing something as important as an eye, I feel like there's a huge missed opportunity here - instead of just thrusting us into an alternate future where everything is fine but one character is inexplicably missing an eye, how about actually showing us the story of how that eye was lost? Show us a Knuckles who's learning to cope with the loss of an important body part, and having to adjust to his mechanical prosthetic! Go into his feelings about the subject, as someone who has so long been opposed to a faction that thrives on mechanical prosthetics, instead of just skipping over what has the potential to be the most interesting part of this story! Ugh, sorry, there's just nothing that gets to me more than a missed opportunity like this. Knuckles and Espio exchange some tortured small-talk about their kids for a little while, with the only interesting part of the conversation being their discussion of Rotor's arrival and how he's likely here to see someone named Cobar, with whom he apparently has a history. More on that later. Knuckles excuses himself from the conversation, as he has to be home in time for his daughter's "Unveiling" tonight, and as the call ends we zoom out to see that apparently nowadays, the Master Emerald is hooked up to all sorts of technology in this facility, presumably maintaining everything automatically. However, this story isn't done throwing weird curveballs at us yet - it's time to see what our former villains are up to in this future!

There is so much to unpack here. Dimitri, feared overlord of the Dark Legion, is now an amiable cyborg-head-in-a-bubble. Lien-Da, the treacherous second-in-command who regularly spoke of betraying Dimitri and taking the Legion in her own darker direction, is now apparently a single mom who's embraced the domestic life, taking care of her rowdy teenage son while, predictably, complaining about the behavior of kids these days. And weirdest of all, apparently everyone is just fine with these literal former terrorists living in their midst and doing ordinary mom and grandpa things, with Lien-Da even apparently amenable to the idea of trying to make up with Julie-Su because "they're family," despite her history of, you know, erasing Julie-Su's memory multiple times and killing her biological parents as revenge for her birth. I mean, is this what Penders thinks adulthood is? Is he even entirely sane? Does he know the definition of terrorism?

Any-goddamn-way, Knuckles arrives home to his eerily sterile-looking steel-plated mansion that looks more like the lobby of a pharmaceutical laboratory than a place where people live, and greets his loving housewife Julie-Su, who's gained a cute giant ponytail but lost absolutely everything else that made her unique, including her own cybernetic parts and just her personality in general. She informs Knuckles that Lara-Su has locked herself in the bathroom and is having herself a mighty tantrum, refusing to come out to get ready for her Unveiling ceremony, which is apparently the equivalent of a Quinceañera for echidna girls. Knuckles, instead of doing something reasonable like asking her why she's upset, starts aggressively demanding that she come out of her room this instant, while Lara-Su repeatedly yells about how she doesn't wanna. Ugh, teenagers, amiright?

Seriously, I just can't get over how little respect Penders has for teenagers in his writing. Like, yes, I acknowledge that teenagers aren't always the most logical of beings, but they're also not goddamn three-year-olds either. They're old enough to articulate their desires and express their unique opinions, and often do so in very mature ways, especially if they're raised well and treated with the same respect you'd afford any adult. I should know, I was one myself. I would have assumed Penders was one as well at some point, but perhaps he just popped into the world one day as a fully-formed 43-year-old, full of disdain for those younger than himself. It would certainly explain everything we're seeing here.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Lara-Su is upset is because Knuckles refuses to train her to be a Guardian, and so she whines and yells about it from behind the door like a petulant child as Knuckles continually refuses to actually give her a solid reason why he won't let her be one. When Julie-Su basically forces him to calm the hell down and explain himself, he reluctantly explains that since all the duties of a Guardian have by now been taken over by other functions of their society, he feels there's no longer any need for one, himself included. This is apparently enough to make Lara-Su immediately happy enough to burst out of the bathroom and grab her father's arm, suddenly totally excited to go to her Unveiling as long as Knuckles promises her the first dance. Ah, the fickle mind of a silly, silly teenager!

Kill me.

#nala reads archie sonic preboot #archie sonic #archie sonic preboot #sonic the hedgehog #sth 131 #writer: karl bollers #writer: ken penders #pencils: ron lim #pencils: steven butler #colors: jason jensen

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