#I think everyone should have a pic of a white guy who does emotional support on their notes

[mylove-thresher]

emotional support white guy

(P.S. I just realized the boob line is obvious w the lightning of the pic lmao 😭😭😭) Dumb brainrot shi motivation (my brain is decomposing so bad 💀)vvv

[nataliesewell]

monster prom pop quiz results

I was bored, so I decided to try and record all the questions and answers in Monster Prom’s Stupidest Pop Quiz Ever(tm). It’s really likely I haven’t found them all, so I’ll come back and add to this from time to time.

The pop quiz consists of three questions; the first two go towards determining your highest stats at the beginning of the game, while the third chooses your possible prom date (this isn’t set in stone; you can still try to pursue a different character in the actual game). The order of the questions is randomized.

Other links: Vera Walkthrough

You can find the questions and their results under the cut!

stat questions

What is your spirit emoji?

a. Caucasian guy with a turban because fuck stereotypes. +CREATIVITY

b. Octopus emoji. Best animal on Earth. I know 5 mixed drinks, 3 drug cocktails, and 17 sex positions that involve one or several octupi. +FUN

c. Snowman, because that motherfucker is in the middle of a blizzard and he’s fuckin’ smiling. He doesn’t give a fuck about blizzards. And he has a kickass hat. +BOLD

It’s your chance to fix global warming. Go ahead!

a. Global warming isn’t real. I invented it, and now science is claiming authorship because science is a lame copycat with no original ideas. +CREATIVITY

b. Nah, the world is doomed. But I’ll start investing in ships and start a profitable business for the “soon to be covered by water” world. +WEALTH

c. It’s time to be a real hero: I’ll lead a mission to the sun in order to... invite the sun to the party of its life! We’ll have so many hilarious misadventures that the sun will eventually become... cooler. ;) +FUN

Be a visionary: what will the next big social media craze be?

a. Bull$hit: it’s Facebook, but each time someone shares news that isn’t supported by real facts, they’re taxed, and the money goes to the people exposed to that bullshit. +WEALTH

b. Greek Agoras: like literal Greek agoras re-instated in our cities. Places where philosophy and arts are discussed by the greater minds. That’s the social media I want to log into! +SMARTS

c. Rbert: from now on, a socially awkward guy named Robert will do everything he’s commanded to do through the app by its users! +CHARM

You wish you were raised by...

a. A mysterious old man who saved me from the streets in order to raise me as his disciple in the ancient ways of rad DJing! +FUN

b. A pack of wild wolves... who also happens to be tech moguls who own some of the most profitable companies of Silicon Valley. They would be kick-ass role models AND wild wolves! Sick! +WEALTH

c. A really progressive marriage between a kick-ass venomous snake and... actual fire. I love fire and I see no issue with being raised by it. +BOLD

You build a 100ft statue commemorating an event so that in 1000 years archaeologists can learn something about the people of our time. What does the statue represent?

a. That glorious instant when your friend stopped you from texting embarrassing stuff to your ex while hella drunk. +FUN

b. That mind-blowing twist in your favourite TV show that clearly changed the life of everyone forever, unlike all that boring stuff they show on the news. +CREATIVITY

c. Your least favourite political figure... being devoured by rabid rhinoceri... which are also covered in badass tattoos. +BOLD

Which is the coolest mythological creature?

a. The invisible hand of the free market. +WEALTH

b. A sphinx... who’s super turnt up and ready to party! And she raps all her riddles (she still kills you if you don’t answer them correctly... but she raps the riddles)! +FUN

c. This weird creature I drew when I was six and which is clearly super derivative from other mythological creatures... but it’s super cool and it’s my OC and my spirit animal, okay? +CREATIVITY

You’re elected president for a day. What’s the first law you pass?

a. You can deduct taxes by writing sonnets instead. Amount of taxes deducted are calculated based on the beauty of the sonnets. +CREATIVITY

b. Trivia fact: presidents don’t pass laws... so is this a trick question or are you just being an idiot? +SMARTS

c. One dollar bills will now include a picture of me and the inscription “Beware: Too Much Awesomeness.” My presidency might last a day, but my fame will last forever! +CHARM

A radioactive possum just bit you... what superpowers did you get?

a. The superpower of always choosing the right combination of emojis to get the desired reaction from all people: seducing my loved ones, burning my enemies, settling an argument, and even conveying complex emotional thoughts. +CHARM

b. Uh, probably rabies? I’d go to a hospital immediately. +SMARTS

c. The incredible power of writing fanfiction so compelling that the actual creators of the TV shows decide to go with my ideas and crazy ships. +CREATIVITY

School is outdated and lame. We need a new school subject asap!

a. Critical thought. I mean... damn, this country could really use a subject like that in schools. +SMARTS

b. Turning people into your puppets through emotional warfare and deception 101. +CHARM

c. How to correctly punch a crocodile without terrible consequences. +BOLD

If you had to have sex with animal... which animal would it be?

(You don’t get six answers; the three answers you get are randomized.)

a. A great white shark. I have to fuck an animal, let’s at least make it a story worth telling! +CHARM

b. A swan. They’re classy. Plus it reminds me of that myth of Leda and the Swan, so at least by bestiality standards it has a certain chic appeal. +CREATIVITY

c. A human being, because I’m the kind of douchebag who loves to find loopholes in stupid questions like this one. +SMARTS

d. A purebred horse. At least I can keep his semen and sell it. It’s worth a lot! Who said there was no silver lining to bestiality? +WEALTH

e. A dolphin. They’re the only other animal that fucks just for pleasure, so at least we can both do our best to have a good time, right? +FUN

f. No on can make me fuck an animal. If I fucked an animal, it’d be of my own free will. As a matter of fact, I already have fucked an animal, so the joke’s on you, pal. +BOLD

The coolest reality show would be...

a. Twelve experts on the various arts of seduction live in a house where they must face a common challenge: seducing a potato into marriage... somehow. +CHARM

b. Eight rich people fight in weekly challenges to see who’s the best at giving money to you. +WEALTH

c. People in various positions of power must face all sorts of questions relevant to their field, and if they fail, they lose their jobs... and society wins. +SMARTS

You get the chance to produce a movie. It’s based on...

a. The most influential Russian novelists of the XIX century... have gone nuts! They don’t remember anything about last night and now they can’t find the manuscript of The Brothers Karamazov; and Dostoyevsky has to deliver it TODAY! +FUN

b. Two cool guys walking away from rad explosions. And they don’t look at the explosions. THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE EXPLOSIONS! They reflect on life and love... AND IT IS SUPER DOPE AND KICK-ASS BECAUSE THEY DO SO WALKING AWAY FROM NEVER-ENDING EXPLOSIONS! +BOLD

c. Something about superheroes, but with a love triangle between a beauty yet somehow relatable girl (maybe she’s always stating she’s a mess?) and two of the super hot superheroes, which are also like vampires or pirates or both. Instant hit! +WEALTH

Democracy is just broken. What would be the best way of choosing the leaders of modern society?

a. Whoever can play the most heartbreaking violin solo wins. +CREATIVITY

b. You put all the candidates in an empty room... with a wild grizzly bear. Whoever kills the bear should be our president. If everyone dies, then it’s obvious: the bear should be our president. +BOLD

c. We create a reality show called “America’s Next Top President” where the candidates compete in all kinds of physical and mental challenges. Voter turnout would increase and we would turn a profit on it! +FUN

If you could put a curse on your worst enemy, what would it do?

a. I’d curse them to fall in love with a wonderful person and be happily married before they realize that all this time... their partner was a wild panther in disguise! Then the panther viciously devours my enemy. Classic! +BOLD

b. The curse of always meeting obnoxious people at parties who are super into new fad diets that feel the need to explain them in detail. +CHARM

c. You can’t rely on the effectiveness of a curse. I prefer to take care of my enemies the old-fashioned way: by exposing them to unsafe doses of radiation over the course of several years. +SMARTS

What would be the coolest prize you could find in your box of cereal?

a. A tiny piece of sharp metal, so every scoop will be full of thrill and danger! +BOLD

b. The phone number of the sexy tiger on the front of the box. He’s so passionate about breakfast and health that he’s surely also a grrreat lover. +CHARM

c. A sample of a more nutritious breakfast option, so people are encouraged to stop eating that colorful crap. +SMARTS

What inanimate object do you think would make the best girlfriend or boyfriend, provided you went criminally insane?

a. A human-size pillow depicting a character created by myself. As a matter of fact, I have all the needed paperwork and I’m only waiting for the conservative narrow-minded laws of our country to finally step forward into waifu and husbando territory, as was clearly intended by God. +CREATIVITY

b. A dildo, duh. +FUN

c. An ATM. Sugar baby life, here I come! +WEALTH

Which god do you pray to each night before sleeping?

a. Praying is kind of lame. I have a group text set up with some deities: Dionysus, Bastet, Loki... coolest cats in town. +CHARM

b. Praying is for fools. I took some compromising pics of a god molesting a tree, and now I blackmail him for whatever I want. A lot more effective. +SMARTS

c. Oh, I pray to all kinds of gods. I have this business where people pay me to deliver their prayers every night. I’ve even started to look for a Chinese factory to outsource the prayers. +WEALTH

prom date questions

What is the sexiest type of knowledge a lover can have?

a. How to set stuff on fire. ❤️DAMIEN

b. All the principles to build a financial empire. ❤️VERA

c. Lyrics to all Disney songs. ❤️MIRANDA

d. Obscure 80s movie trivia. ❤️LIAM

e. Sports things. ❤️SCOTT

f. How to make a killer cocktail out of anything. ❤️POLLY

Your partner just gave you a cool gift for your anniversary but you totally forgot! Quick, come up with an idea for a great gift!

a. The head of their fiercest enemy. ❤️VERA

b. A silly toy that makes silly noises. ❤️SCOTT

c. The abstract concept of gratefulness. ❤️LIAM

d. A pony. Always a pony. ❤️MIRANDA

e. Anything on fire. Or a weapon. No, no: a weapon on fire. ❤️DAMIEN

f. Anything capable of leading them to an overdose of some sorts. ❤️POLLY

What would be a deal-breaker for a potential lover?

a. The person lacks taste. ❤️LIAM

b. The person is mediocre. ❤️VERA

c. The person is a coward. ❤️DAMIEN

d. The person is boring. ❤️POLLY

e. The person hates the outdoors. ❤️SCOTT 

f. The person lacks manners. ❤️MIRANDA

What would be a killer accessory?

a. Sunglasses... at night. ❤️POLLY

b. A fabulous purse made from the skin of your worst enemy. ❤️VERA

c. Coolness itself. ❤️LIAM

d. Fancy brass knuckles. ❤️DAMIEN

e. A necklace with your own name... in case you forget! ❤️SCOTT

f. Shiny armor. ❤️MIRANDA

The world will end tomorrow... What will you do today?

a. Nobody ends the world but me! I’ll end the world today. ❤️DAMIEN

b. It’s okay! We invented the apocalypse to take care of the overpopulation of commoners. ❤️MIRANDA

c. I’ll finish my novel... whoever comes after the end should know my legacy! ❤️LIAM

d. 100 push-ups... no, no 200 push-ups! ❤️SCOTT

e. They always tell you the world is ending... I’ll profit on other people’s hysteria. ❤️VERA

f. I always party as if there were no tomorrow... so who cares? ❤️POLLY

Which criteria would you use to name your children?

a. Meh... no name? It’s just too much work! ❤️POLLY

b. I will research for a name that is pun-proof and joke-proof. No one will pick on them. ❤️VERA

c. A non-heteronormative name to give them freedom to define themselves on their own terms. ❤️LIAM

d. Just a swear word. ❤️DAMIEN

e. My name + “II” (the Second). ❤️MIRANDA

f. Something simple and friendly, like Bobby or Mary. ❤️SCOTT

If you were an ice cream... which flavour would you be?

a. Double creme de la Gruyere and meringues. ❤️LIAM

b. Spicy chocolate. No... chocolate on FIRE! ❤️DAMIEN

c. Success. ❤️VERA

d. Tequila and coke. ;) ❤️POLLY

e. Rainbows and gummy bears. ❤️MIRANDA

f. Meat! ❤️SCOTT

What would be your dream first date?

a. An art exhibition experimental enough to give you a seizure. ❤️LIAM

b. A sweaty and manly wrestling match. ❤️SCOTT

c. A professional meeting where you charm your date with some astonishing business advice! ❤️VERA

d. A wild party in international waters. ❤️POLLY

e. A lovely walk in the forest... after rescuing your date from a dragon! ❤️MIRANDA

f. Crimes. ❤️DAMIEN

You find a genie in a bottle. You can ask for whatever you want. What do you ask for?

a. A rainbow that you can eat! ❤️MIRANDA

b. I don’t ask for anything. I drink the genie from the bottle. I can grant my own wishes! ❤️DAMIEN

c. Before asking for anything, you try to negotiate up to the three standard wishes. ❤️VERA

d. Infinite confetti! ❤️POLLY

e. ...His friendship! ❤️SCOTT

f. Him to not be so cliched. Genies and wishes... so mainstream! ❤️LIAM

What would be the most appealing in a love partner?

a. A big... horn. ❤️DAMIEN

b. Sharp wits. ❤️LIAM

c. Kawaii eyes. ❤️MIRANDA

d. A very tsundere personality. ❤️VERA

e. Soft fur. ❤️SCOTT

f. A taste for party. ❤️POLLY

[aqours-remade]

asheternal replied to your post “debating if i should give my own two centso n it tbh”

who the fucc is that

ok sorta long post bc now i’m just gonna talk about my opinions with some pics so under the readmore (i’m bored)

this is about 7 months old and as we can see yeah ANet did not just collapse and is still doing healthy but the tl;dr is that Jessica Price was a dev who was fired for her conflict with a partner of ANet which spakred some debate about sexism but i honestly. really think she was just kind of an asshole and got fired for it although it did bring up some good points about the industry and the whoel thing is, no matter where you stand on it, a very messy and complicated situation

although no matter what i think firing the other guy was uncalled for as ill talk about here below

so Jessica Price was a GW2 dev that to my knowledge did work for Living World and writing for GW2 in general. she’s an industry veteran with a dozen years. she had a twitter thread about the complications of writing an MMO main protagonist, in that you have to write them in a way without too much emotion or personality or it won’t feel like “your” character, which lead to this alteration with a streamer

Deroir is a paid affiliate of ANet: he is a streamer, but he also is paid to i think bug test GW2 and i think has an NPC named named after him in the game: https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Deroir

maybe its mansplaining, maybe its not... it really doesn’t feel like it??? i really have the benefit of the doubt the dude was just giving his own opinion on this one as a (paid) content creator for the game with an opinion

then things really began to escalate as price made several more tweets and things got really out of control really fast

now I don’t watch Deroir’s streams so i don’t know much about the man himself, his attitude, or his personality, but this does seem to be the only conflict he ever had with her (so it wasn’t a series of little things blowing up). another dev publicly defended Price and things escalated, prompting ANet to fire them, announced by Mike O’Brien, CEO of ANet:

i don’t think it was particularly wrong of ANet to fire her at this point, as she was publicly an employed part of this company that acted extremely unprofessionally to a situation she could have completely ignored or civilly disagreed with. if Deroir had been a full-blown “sweetie, I don’t think you fully understand the writing of this game you work on :)” as far as i’m concerned this situation would be changed entirely and i’d be 100% on her side but i don’t think its hard to describe it as an appropriate reaction. the above is from the GW2 official forums on a thread concerning the incident.

i do think its worth really keeping in mind this wasn’t a conversation about gender as opposed to the writing of believable MMO characters, i really genuinely feel it was a genuine opinion that quickly devolved into something else. and everyone who knows me knows i’m usually completely on this side which is... why its. feels really weird of me to even type this because i don’t want to be against this side

i do however believe it was a bit too hasty to just fire them...? i think giving Price a chance to make up for it wouldn’t have been out of the question? it was definitely a tense situation that absolutely warranted being called into the boss’ office to say “hey. you uh. fucked up and made problems for us. you gotta fix this.” although considering Price’s attitudes i think she just would have used this against ANet later. it was a PR nightmare no matter how things would have gone down. i think Price would have blown any chance to make up for it, but I am surprised the guy was fired just for standing up for her. i would understand ANet saying “hey. you represent us publicly on twitter. do not support behavior that antagonizes our fanbase again.” but to fire him definitely seemed like jumping the gun, and that one i definitely don’t agree with. i think he (Fries) deserved a stern reprimand without consequences at most as long as it didn’t happen again, while Price should have at least been given a chance to make up for that incident

Price then reached out to basically any journalistic source that would reach out to her and decried the firing as based in sexism and harassment and basically bowing down to make gamergaters happy, and claiming that ANet’s public statement was directly harassing her by basically sicing a mob on her. it is true that the behavior she faced afterwards was unforgivable: i don’t have screenshots but you can probably imagine how it was with men like this. and Price has repeatedly blamed ANet as basically selling her out to make dudebro neckbeards happy and for not protecting her knowing what happens to a disgraced female dev in this modern day. however, to say ANet was “actively soliciting harassment” is an incredible stretch, and i don’t believe that was really the case. this was a very messy situation that ANet absolutely should have handled much better, but it still ultimately boils down to an employee acting in a way that’s unacceptable and being fired for it that... really doesn’t seem to have its roots based in sexism. she’s also gone on the record saying she’s being contacted by people who will “never work with ANet again” and milking that for what its worth. fast forward now to 7 months later and ANet clearly is still in a good place financially so... i really doubt there’s any permanent fallback as a result.

this is a video from one of the few ppl whose opinions i really like on video games so this is a good??? video to kinda help recap the events:

i just think she’s just an extremely white lady. the kind of person who demands to see the manager kind of white. i don’t have a good opinion of her nor do i think she’s “one of us” worth looking out for. i really doubt people are going to avoid working with ANet if given a valuable deal with it.

she should have been reprimanded and asked to apologize and given a chance to make up for it; although i think with the full story and conversation in mind its hard to really sympathize with her. white women are gonna white and this whole thing escalated out of control as a result and i absolutely wouldn’t want this woman on my development team for anything at the end of the day.

[miatalovingpos]

“Why won’t you evacuate?” “Why can’t you come to work?” “You don’t have it that bad!” “You still have power and wifi! You’re not in Houston! Stop lying and taking advantage of the situation!” “You should die for posting on social media and not doing something about the flood.” 

People, it’s bad. I’m tired of self-centered, cozy, and currently safe people telling me it’s not. I’m trapped on high ground while everything else around me is still flooded anytime it rains. Yes, I still have power. That doesn’t mean we’re not struggling too. We have no access to food unless we go several miles down a spotty road to a store that runs out of everything before 2pm every day. It’s the only grocery store open in the area. There are looters not too far from here and if they decide to come here, there’s no way for us to get help if they become aggressive and dangerous. Police are busy saving people in the flooded neighboring areas and we’ve been left on our own. We keep a baseball bat by the door and a gun in the bedroom ‘just in case’ like typical Texans. That doesn’t guarantee our safety though. 

We share our water since we still have access to our well, our neighbors check in on us when it rains for a while just to make sure we’re okay since the back yard floods so easily, family and friends are being rescued in boats and helicopters that we can hear not too far away from the house, and we have to stay up at night if it starts raining just to make sure it doesn’t get close to the door the way it did Saturday night. We help in the small way that we can but there’s nothing we can really do. We don’t have any money to donate that we don’t need for ourselves while we can’t work without being in a dangerous situation on the road, we don’t have a boat to take out to help people, neither my boyfriend or myself are currently trained to be useful for any sort of medical help (and they can’t train us on the spot in this emergency since we’d be a liability), and our vehicles are mid-sized sedans, not the jacked up trucks that you need to get through the flood waters. So we can’t help. We can only donate water when people drop by with their own jugs to fill. My manager is crazy to ask me to go to work tomorrow when it’s possible it’ll start raining again. I work for a restaurant about 20 miles North of here and there is no way I can make it there in my car when I don’t have money for gas or a gas station open to stop at. Not to mention the map above shows how many closed roads there are between here and there. I might lose my job. So don’t blame me for not helping. 

We were not told to evacuate because evacuating this many people out of the Houston area would have been impossible and people would have died when the storm hit because of all the traffic since the roads would’ve been the first to flood. We WERE warned ahead of time that Harvey would be near us, yes. However, we WEREN’T told that it would dump this much rain on us, that the majority of Houston would be overflowing with water within 48 hours, that rivers and bayous would back up so badly that it would flood all of the houses near them, and that the storm would just hang over us, not allowing us to get out. We were told NONE of this beforehand while we had time to leave. My boyfriend’s mom and dad only left because his mother is paranoid and leaves to her second home anytime there is a storm headed this way. Not everyone is like that. There were pets to watch, a job to continue going to, and a life to continue living. This storm was downplayed in our area and we believed it would just soak the yard and be gone to the North where it would dissipate. Obviously that was not the case. 

DO NOT TELL ME IT WAS MY CHOICE TO STAY THAT PUT ME IN THIS MESS! DO NOT TELL ANYONE FROM HOUSTON THAT IT’S THEIR FAULT THIS IS HAPPENING TO THEM! 9 bodies have been found in the floods. People. Have. Died. and several more people are missing. I didn’t even vote this year and people are still telling Texans that we deserve to die because we were a Republican state. I’m sorry but what the ever loving HELL does that have anything to do with the children and minorities down here that are suffering along WITH the white redneck republicans in the same damn boats? There are a lot of liberals down here as well and you’re wishing death on the whole state because you can’t get your head out of your ass. Some of you still need to think about the fact that there are over 7 million people down here and you think that every last one of them is a conservative asshole. 

Texas has been hit with tropical storms before and they weren’t this bad. Harvey wasn’t supposed to hit us with more than tropical storm strength so we figured we’d be fine. The same way you think you’ll be just fine before you get into a car accident on a normal day. You can’t predict that you’ll get into that accident. You know there’s a chance but you can’t prepare for it every single day. You know that it’ll rain so you drive a little more carefully but you don’t expect the ‘other guy’ to turn right into your lane and hit you so hard that someone dies, you flip, the whole car is destroyed, and you have to wait for help from anyone willing to get you out of there. 

I have posted to both Whisper and iFunny out of boredom of being stuck in the house for several days straight and iFunny was surprisingly supportive and open to my explanation as to why I didn’t evacuate. Whisper, however, is a horrible app with horrible people that think they have a license to be an asshole. Unless you legit receive help on that app, I highly suggest you delete it. It breeds nothing but miscommunication through limited characters in a post and everyone thinks they’re invincible. I NEVER post to Tumblr unless it’s a repost of something I wanted to repost. But lately I’ve been wanting to find a good online community that won’t tear me apart for being privileged in this shitty situation while also providing some sort of moral support while my friends without power save their phone batteries for emergencies. So, Tumblr, I’d like to hear from you if you have any input on the situation. 

Donations are a great help. Donate to any charity of your choice that’s specifying disaster relief funds and they’ll do the rest. Ex: Red Cross, LGBTQ, etc. Animals have also been affected so donating to local shelters helps them support more stranded pets and helps operations to save abandoned pets. We haven’t taken in any personally but I do know some people that have been picking up stranded pets off of flooded roads and keeping them in their homes until everything is good and well. (Of course, they post to Facebook asking for the owners to claim them so they can get them home.) 

I know people have posted about this already but I feel that it’s important to get as many people’s experiences and thoughts out there. The more people who are aware of what’s going on, the less ignorance and hurtful comments are said. The last thing anyone wants is for someone who’s lost everything to be told that they’re not struggling because they aren’t from Florida that gets rain up their asshole 24/7 like I’ve been told by more than 3 people or from a different part of the world that gets typhoons every month. That person’s life is still destroyed and they may not have anywhere to go or any way to get their life back. If they have the privilege of seeing your hurtful words when they’re seeking emotional help, you had better expect them to wish some pretty hurtful things on you in their time of emotional turmoil. You had better prepare for the special kind of hell you’ll be going through later in life (or after life if you believe in that kind of thing.) Your opinion is not grounds to bully someone when they’re suffering. Karma will be a bitch.

If you’re not from here, you probably haven’t thought about the fact that a lot of these people that have lost their homes were refugees from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. They are living this hell AGAIN. I didn’t even think about it until I saw a comment on a Facebook post about it. I didn’t even remember Katrina since I was too young at the time. These people are mentally beaten down and if you’re telling them their suffering isn’t true suffering, that they’re still privileged for the things they HAD, you need to take a reality check and think about how you’d feel if you’d lost your home TWICE via hurricane. If they’re posting about it, they’re really upset and they want some sort of confirmation that what they’re dealing with is bad, some sort of encouragement that they can stay strong in this situation. Because in their minds, they just want help. They want someone to have their back and them they can do it. That they can get back up and start all over again. Maybe it is a cry for some attention. Because at least that attention means that they’re not alone. 

Say it with me: Hurricane Harvey is not a pity party or competition! Suffering is suffering, no matter who you are or where you are! If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!

I’m not personally in that extreme of a situation. I’m just bored waiting for the roads to open up so we can go get more food since we’re running low and so I can visit my family. But consider this a PSA for those of you that have shot people down that are going through this because they were posting about it or asking for some sort of acknowledgement. I’ve personally gotten threats and comments that have made me feel like more should’ve happened to me for anything I say to be taken seriously. I was SO lucky to have not been flooded. The only thing we got was a puddle under the door and some knocked down tree limbs and small trees. In one of my pics, you can see that the flooding down the street covered the road even AFTER it had time to drain. That water had covered the road in front of our house at the time of the storm and had been creeping up to the front door when we went to sleep for a couple of hours Saturday night. When we woke up, it had receded back to the ditch. 

This is what the rest of the area looked like when they woke up: https://www.buzzfeed.com/katebubacz/17-photos-show-just-how-bad-the-flooding-in-houston-really?bffbmain&ref=bffbmain&utm_term=.liAkn03Zl#.leyX3k50B

This post is for those that have shut up about it because of the demented and horrible things that have been said to them. The ones who silently suffer. This post is to tell every person that has told a Texan “you don’t have it that bad” or “you have no right to bitch since you didn’t evacuate” or “you and every other Texan liberal needs to die” among other things that you don’t know what we’re going through right now. You don’t get to speak. You might have experience in something similar, but you don’t know this exact situation and YOU are the one that has no right to speak horribly to us for the majority of the state’s voting preferences. If you have words of encouragement and a way to support the people down here, it’s greatly appreciated. If you have nothing but hate to spread and horrible things to say, keep it to yourself. 

If you’re a fellow Houstonian in the area, keep your chin up. Everyone is struggling. Help where you can and take care of yourself. We’re entering the recovery period of this disaster and it’s a long road ahead of us. If you’re lucky enough to have internet or access to this post, please spread the word that we’re here for everyone. We’re proud Texans and we are banding together to help each other. Even just allowing people to fill jugs of water from your sink is enough to help a family. If you can’t help, just take care of yourself. That’s just as important as helping others. 

We love you. We hope you’re safe. If you need emotional support in this, go ahead and directly message me. If you’re a bystander, just support people down here in whatever way you can. You don’t need to feed into an attention seeker if they’re being strongly opinionated about it. But understand that it’s their way of communicating and coping. Please, only provide support or ignore someone if you don’t have anything nice to say. 

Hope everyone is having a good day. This has been a long, emotional, rant-filled post. If you made it to the end, thank you. 

[sambinnie]

All links mentioned are clustered at the end, if you’d like to read/listen to them too.

I’ve never been one for the middle road, in habits, emotions or tendencies, but if there’s one thing 2016 has taught me — I hope — it’s that it’s possible for me. At last. I’ve been more willing, as I’ve grown fractionally older, to welcome the change of heart that time and experience bring; I’ve been more likely to say, ‘Well, this is how I feel at the moment, but who knows,’ rather than, ‘No! Never! Impossible!’ Only there have been some hold-outs from this: some political groups, some voting histories, some educational choices, anti-freedom groups, hate groups. Thankfully, they could all be bundled up in my mind as Big Bads, so I didn’t need to ever fear that I could be wrong about any of them: and if someone had expressed those choices, even once, even in error or misunderstanding or drunkenness or foolishness, or ever been associated with anyone who’d expressed those choices, then great! Into the barrel of doom with them, and good riddance!

I have loved so much of social media, so much of the quickness of thought to make the jokes, dark or otherwise, because that’s how I see the world. The kindness, too: those people who tap a “xxx” or a digital embrace to someone suffering. I’ve been at both ends of that, and it feels good.

2016, however, and everything we’re seeing unfold from that and the last few years before it, has made me wonder at the meaningfulness of these interactions. Other people than me have written about this, probably better than me, and research can show whatever we want it to (also known as ‘2016’s catchphrase’) but some gut instinct in me has hollered louder and louder than social media does nothing, for me, in quite a major way. I’m sure anyone who’s reading this can give me some counter arguments — friendships, business contacts, social and political movements — but there is a hollowness to my life on there. On here, I suppose I should say. Having been mostly off it for several months now, I can see with greater clarity that the time I spend with friends and family on sofas and bar stools and around kitchen tables, without photos, or hashtags, or tagging, or comments, just ephemeral conversation and moments that are gone forever: these times have been better for me, and have filled some deeper need.

And of course social media can be an educational, fascinating place. It’s hilarious to suggest otherwise. So congratulations and a big shiny medal to me if I now understand that Black Lives Matter, or grasp the violence that faces the average transgender man or woman, or see that even the most supportive, feminist man occasionally uses language and jokes that chip away at the average woman. Those fights are easy to understand and easier to engage in. 

But – and here’s the tricky bit – how much time did I give, really, to thinking about why someone would support and vote and fight and hurt people for beliefs opposite to mine? It’s not comfortable to defend these people, to acknowledge that they are human and have family they love and interests they believe to be best. It’s not easy to say, in my circles, But What About Straight White Men, when we’ve had such a bloody great time turning them into the butt of every smart, knowing, accurate, deserved joke. But the number of people I know on social media who are actively trying to make the world better (could count on two hands) rather than just spitting into someone’s online soup (thousands) is worth my consideration, if I’m spending hours a day with them. And the things we’ve hated in those hours! We hate this film. This politician is trash. That TV programme is shit — look at this gif about it! The readers of those newspapers are just a dumpster fire of burning garbage.

So this is what I’ve concluded, after much thinking and reading and listening: that there are two issues here. Two things that tie my feelings about social media and my feelings about what’s on social media together: firstly, nuance, and secondly, opportunity versus morality.

Nuance, as Jon Ronson (a man who’s had his share of online kickings) says on the Guys We’ve Fucked podcast*, is wildly unfashionable now. Pick a side! Quickly! Don’t worry about circumstance, or history, or mis-readings, or context! Just go go go get our boots on and pile in! My online bubble that I’ve been happy to cosy up in seems the same: straight white guys: be quiet. Leave voters: racists. Republicans: racist misogynist climate-change deniers who should also be quiet. It doesn’t matter why they feel that way. Let’s just remind them as forcibly as we can that they are hateful humans we don’t want to dirty our hands with, and that’ll teach them a lesson they’ll never forget! After seeing our scorching memes, they’ll be thinking like we do in no time! Except: they are actual people. Everyone’s frightened of something, and whether or not I agree with the veracity of the source of that fear, they’re still feeling afraid. They still have goals, which I may or may not agree with, but those goals won’t change if I tell them their goals are trash. In an episode of the Invisibilia podcast* called Flip the Script, Hanna Rosin visits Aarhus to talk to the police who decided to stop prosecuting young Muslim men travelling to Syria to fight for Isis, and instead engaged with them, offering them care and support, employment and housing. They made them feel like they were welcome in Denmark, that this was their home, and in 2015, even when traffic was spiking from Europe, only one individual left Aarhus to fight. In the programme, Jamal, a young Danish muslim, says of his feelings before this positive intervention received him, ‘I thought: they call me terrorist? I will give them a terrorist.’ Treat those we disagree with as racists, as misogynists, as bigots, as fascists, and guess how they’ll be tempted to behave. (Side note: It’s also really worth listening to the Adam Buxton conversations* with Richard Ayoade, Iain Lee and Jon Ronson (again!) talking from various different angles about kindness, nuance, context, and how it feels to be a Woody Allen fan these days. Also, there’s a stand-up routine by Louis CK – helloooo, problematic public figure – which also covers nicely the idea of correctly using The Right Terms but having not great goals with it, and being pummelled for using Incorrect Language but wanting to communicate positive ideas. I can’t link to it as it autoplayed on Netflix while I was painting the hall, but the thought was pretty smart.)

As Oliver Burkeman said in his This Column Will Change Your Life piece*, it’s moderation that’s key to a better world, not battling for victory. No one really ever wins a war. As This American Life’s podcast* on Reconsideration showed, it’s giving people a chance to be listened to that offers that chance to change minds, not shouting them down with facts that will only make them dig their heels in harder. Anger is a vital political tool, but my anger too often feels like hatred, or disdain, or dismissal. It serves no purpose. It’s a toxic, pixelled sledgehammer. It makes the world worse. I’ve really been doing a shitty job at making things nicer, guys. 

Secondly: opportunity versus morality. As part of my feminist beliefs, I’ve been pro-Instagram; why should some dude tell me what I can and can’t photograph? If people like my lunch pic, what’s wrong with that? If I look great and want to record and share it, what the hell is your problem? Only suddenly, as I’ve been using it less and less, Instagram looks so lonely to me. I think of the humans at the end of Wall-E, tapping their screens and never looking up, and that’s how it feels: I like the sunset someone else has photographed while I’m missing it because I’m looking at my phone. And even if I’m snapping it myself to share — what am I missing by not just looking at the damn thing, and letting it pass through me, a beautiful gift to warm my soul? Do I really believe the tech ads about how much better a father’s night in the woods is with his kid because he brought their tablet along? I know the feeling in me when I pick up my phone to take a picture of something with the intention of sharing it, and it feels like a greasy, dizzy dilution. For me, it’s not about the over-curation of our perfect online lives, but about the inability to live in my offline life without outside approval. I’m not having real fun until 20, 50, 1000 people have liked it too! 

And putting that smartphone opportunity up against my moral code: just because we can do something, should we? If I can live-tweet a couple arguing on a train journey, does that make it not nightmarishly intrusive? If I Instagram a photo of someone in a terrible outfit, does that make me a warrior for underprivileged rights? If I pause every lunch with friends to take photos to post online for others to view and like or not like, am I connecting more, or less? Am I making the world a more claustrophobic, judgemental, short-sighted place if I collude in this weird global surveillance?

And god knows, I’m a hypocrite. I’ve been mean as mean can be, online and off-, about people whose political views I disagree with. I’ve Instagrammed my Christmas day lunches, my children’s artwork, my brunches with friends, my views from a train. But why have I interrupted the flow of conversation or silence before the play started to post a picture of the theatre stage and ceiling? Why have I unintentionally asked my family to hold off from eating because I wanted a picture of the meal I’ve just made? Why did I stop thinking about whatever I was thinking about just to snap an image of the sky? I’ve thought and thought and can’t get any further than Because other people might like it. Which is, to me, right now, at this moment, fathomlessly sad. (But who knows how I’ll feel next week, a year from now, twenty years from now?)

Have some ideas on social media changed me? Of course. People and articles have educated me hugely in ways that have hopefully made me a better person. But do those new, positive and instructive ideas warrant staying on social media? Not at the moment. Twitter is a thousand people shouting apocalypse at me, Facebook is an algorithmic sink and Instagram is an endless time-suck scroll of kids I’m not playing with, art I’m not making, trips I’m not taking, food I’m not cooking, homes I’m not helping people into, chances I’m not helping others receive, political aspirations I’m not supporting because I’m just swiping my finger along this screen tap tap tap swipe tap swipe tap swipe swipe swipe…

But right now, I’m trying to make changes. I’m off twitter, I’ve deleted my Facebook profile, I’ve turned my Instagram to private and am slowly weaning myself off it (I still hit like at what I’m seeing, but the (v good, v scary) Moment app is also making me realise how much of my day — my life — is lost to tapping a heart icon on a flat screen next to a photograph someone else has taken that ultimately means nothing to me as pixels on a screen). The cards, notes, emails and texts I’ve sent and received over the last month or two have made me realise how much more valuable these quiet interactions are to me at the moment. I think about the adults I’d like our kids to grow up into: outward-facing, forward-looking, clear-eyed, generous with their time, generous with their thoughts, independent, handy (all the way from cooking and cleaning, through to crafting and mending and building), confident, kind. And it doesn't matter that I’m thinking of it in terms of my kids: like those men we laugh at for only finding feminism once they have a daughter (who cares why they found it! they found it! they're engaging!) it’s not about whether or not I have children. It’s about which adults we want to share the world with. Adults we might disagree with, but whom we could hopefully rely on for respectful conversation, thoughtfulnesss, retreat on either side, apologies, space for error, learning, growth, change.

I’m not saying we should forgive anyone who asks for it — only maybe I am, because what does the alternative produce? And I’m not saying we should love everyone in the world, no matter what they’ve done in the past or continue to do in the future — only I guess, I suppose, perhaps, maybe I actually am, because hating people feels shit, does nothing, and makes the world boring and hate-filled and dead. We’ve tried that! We’ve tried telling men/cis/white women/privileged feminists/baby boomers/Tories/right-wingers/Brexit supporters/homophobes/transphobes/racists/abusers/Cameron that they’re just a crapsack, nothing but a punchline, should get pushed off their soapbox or fixie or 4x4 or youtube channel into the fiery pits of hell! We’ve let the warmth of righteous indignation warm us at night and not minded the language we use against our enemies because look at the way they’ve treated us! Look at the terrible things they’ve done! So we hurl insults and craft jokes and smash bridges with our pixel sledgehammers and wait for the likes and retweets and thumbs up and YEAH comments to flood in, and if they do then our point is proved, good work, and if they don’t then maybe we up it a bit more next time.

(Or sometimes, I wonder if it’s all a handy distraction from the way we’re treating our planet at the moment, like gum we can replace at the corner shop once we’ve chewed all the goodness from it. That’s frightening. That’s genuinely sick-in-the-night, silent panic-attack terrifying. But we buy new phones and new phone covers and charge them up and snap a picture of ourselves with them in the mirror and grind our teeth that some dude took up too much space on the tube and Steven Moffatt can’t write women. Yes! Those things might be true! But, to play the card we all dislike the most: haven’t we got other things to worry about? Not necessarily bigger things, or better things, but fractionally more pressing things? Shouldn't we all be hurling money as hard as we can at scientists and policy makers in the hope we can stop sawing down and burning up the only home we’ve got? Shouldn’t we be campaigning against companies who design their products with built-in obsolescence, rather than grabbing those products as fast as we can so we can use them to tweet our rage at companies who use unreliable delivery companies? And I understand that climate change isn’t a stand-alone issue — capitalism, our lifestyles, our conditioned social priorities, corporate power over government, dissolution of employment rights, exploitation of workers — all of this feeds into climate change and the terrible way we’re treating our planet. I understand this. And all of it feels slightly more pressing than how I can correctly display my individualism to people who don’t or barely know me.)

The fact remains, the basic philosophies of most major religions (if we put aside meat specifics and some potentially dodgy sex/marriage stuff) throughout human civilisation probably have a point: care for the needy; practice humility; think of others; show forgiveness; show respect; love everyone.

If the future looks scary, the answer isn’t to build the wall higher and sharpen our words. It’s so painful, and it’s so difficult, and it’s so simple. Right now, if we can take the time to type our disdain and disgust, we’re in a privileged enough position to take a deep breath, dive into life, and make a better choice.

  1. *Jon Ronson on Guys We’ve Fucked

2. *Invisibilia, Flip the Script

3. *Richard Ayoade on Adam Buxton 

4. *Iain Lee on Adam Buxton

5. *Jon Ronson on Adam Buxton

6. *Oliver Burkeman, ‘Moderates are the real tough guys’ 

7. *This American Life, For Your Reconsideration