#I think PC gaming was always supposed to take off because well why buy a console when you already have a PC and can play there

[elbiotipo]

What's interesting about Steam is that it started as a patch tool for Half Life 2 and Team Fortress 2, and also a form of DRM as these things go. It was very, very poorly recieved at the time. It was very likely it could have failed, and the face of PC gaming would have been completely unrecognizible.

[purplesurveys]

1245

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella?  Oh you are just mean. Nutella is amazing as a filling or icing, but when it comes down to it I guess I look for peanut butter more often. I love both though.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes?  Mashed. But baked potatoes are pretty good too; the only reason I didn’t pick it is that I don’t get to have it as often as I do mashed.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name?  I’m the eldest sibling, but my sister, who comes after me, has Beatrice as her second name if that’s what you mean by middle name.

Do you like breadsticks?  Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better.

What are your favorite things to spend money on?  Merch or food.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten?  Puppy. Not the biggest fan of cats.

How old will you be on your next birthday?  24.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people?  If it’s the combination of having to be around people I’m not too close with, like workmates, and I’m eating something that tends to be messy, like jjajangmyeon, then yeah I can definitely feel conscious.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts?  I fell asleep from 11 PM to around 3 AM and when I woke up then I thought  “ugh, I fell asleep early again?”

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody?  My vape pen constantly reminds me of Andi because they were the one who gave it to me.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic?  No.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one?  I did want to be one, at one point. It was all a matter of being stuck with the wrong crowd at the time lol.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried?  Probably with my sister when we were very young.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence?  Intelligence.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? I never have.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why?  A 1 or 2 TB hard drive. My phone has reached the stage where I’m starting to have to constantly delete shit so I don’t reach the maximum storage, so I need someplace to dump all my photos and videos in to free up my phone.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked?  Nope.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? I dunno...buy pirated movies? I didn’t get ‘caught’ since pirated movie stalls are widespread here anyway, so for the most part I’ve always been more concerned for them than I am for myself.

What is the home page on the computer you’re on?  Technically it’s supposed to be the Google home screen, but I have an extension that shows me my to-do list for the day.

Do you like to write poetry?  Nah, that’s always been my Achilles’ heel when it comes to writing.

Are your ears pierced?  Yup. Surprisingly enough they’ve never closed up despite never having worn earrings (clip-ons notwithstanding) in the last 13 years.

If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle?  I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though.

Do you wear makeup regularly? I never wear makeup.

Did you eat cereal for breakfast today?  I never have cereal unless I’m staying at hotels. It’s just never been something I look for.

When was the last time you tripped over something?  A box that was lying around in my room.

Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies?  I’ll sometimes get concerned with how many times I have to flick the switch of our hot water dispenser or open and close the refrigerator door before I feel completely satisfied...but I dunno if that counts.

Who was the last person you yelled at?  Technically...Angela? I was filming an unboxing video for a gift she randomly got me and I loved the gift so much I was yelling my excitement through the screen.

Why did you yell at them?  ^ That.

Favorite type of apple?  I don’t like fruits.

Ever seen live horse racing?  No, it’s not something that interests me.

How about live greyhound racing?  I don’t even know what that looks like.

What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without?  The arts, I guess. I need something to listen to, to watch, etc on a regular basis.

Have you ever touched a giraffe?  I don’t think so.

What does your mom call you?  Robyn, or the Filipino term parents use for their kids.

What stresses you out the most in life?  A particular client at work. We have a million campaigns going on for them at any given point so my life virtually revolves around that brand these days.

Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite?  Nope.

If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah.

What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero?  If I’m using a Playstation controller, I can go Hard or Expert. But my finger coordination with the actual guitar controller is terrible and I fail most songs even at Easy.

What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend?  There was never any ‘boyfriend,’ but my first girlfriend and I have basically had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her in months, and I expect it to continue being that way.

What’s your favorite country song?  I don’t have any.

What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you?  Putting her pride and anger first even when I’m obviously in a state of disstress or breakdown in front of her. That’s some emotional rollercoaster I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anymore.

What were you for Halloween last year?  Just Dora the Explorer again, which was a repeat from the year before that.

Are you feeling guilty for something?  I don’t think so; at least there isn’t anything I’m actively feeling guilty about at the moment.

Are you usually quiet or loud?  I think I’m in between? I’m pretty loud but I can space out at the most random moments hahaha.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day?  This question always makes me wince at myself...I guess anywhere between 16-18 hours? The only time I put my laptop down is when I’m off to bed, but otherwise it’s constantly open.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? I don’t think there is such a show.

Do your siblings text you?  Nope. We live under the same roof 24/7 so there’s been little need to text.

Do you want a small or big wedding?  Big.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth?  Yes, but that was when Google Earth was still super bare so I wasn’t able to see the actual house anyway, but just the general area where we’re located. I haven’t used Google Earth in years.

Who is your ex dating/talking to?  I don’t know and I hoooonestly could not care less.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?  Yep.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you?  Depends on my mood. I have my moments where it’s very easy for me to get irritated.

Do you own your own computer?  I mean it was bought for me, but I didn’t get it with money I earned.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings?  When my brother was starting to mature, my sister and I very very briefly experimented sharing a room, but it lasted like all of two weeks. My parents ultimately just transferred our balcony to a bedroom so that all three of us had our own rooms.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment?  An airplane is flying above me at the moment so I can hear its engine. I can also hear some crickets chirping and the faint barking of dogs.

Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours?  Yup.

What’s the biggest upcoming event for you?  I guess my second vaccine dose is kinda big? It’s happening this Friday.

What do you typically order from Wendy’s?  I rarely get Wendy’s tbh, but when I do I usually go for their Baconator.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper?  No, it’s not something I would be into.

What do you love most about yourself? Continued the next day because I am terrible at taking a survey in one go. I like that I don’t hesitate to do or buy things for my loved ones, not even inwardly. I guess it’s because my family has always lived very practically, so I want to make up for that by spoiling my friends.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed?  Yes.

What are you doing right now?  I am supposed to be at work but it’s a relatively quiet day, so I’m here. I do have my screen split between Tumblr and my emails though, so that I’d be able to see if new work will come in hahaha.

What’s bothering you right now?  Quiet work days always make me anxious because it makes me think if I’m forgetting about something crucial.

What was the last thing you drank?  I literally just took a sip of my coffee before moving on to this question.

Be honest, do you like people in general?  Depends on the situation, I think. Like when I go to concerts, I know I’m around people I share the same interests with, so there’s a sense of solidarity that goes with that. But when I’m like...I dunno, lining up to get my license renewed at a government office, I know people there are in a rush and tend to get rude, and that makes me feel a little bit overwhelmed. I don’t think this is something I can generalize.

Do you want your tongue pierced?  No. Lip I can consider, but I have to pass on tongue. 

Do you change your phone background a lot?  I do these days, yeah.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?  Possibly.

Have you ever been strip searched?  I’ve been searched, but was never asked to strip.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it?  No, it’s an ordinary surname.

Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly?  Never.

Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I get sick of people who call themselves bipolar, and of people who use ‘bipolar’ to describe someone else who just has your typical mood swings.

Describe your day so far in three words:  Business as usual.

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? I was once designated as a leader for a science investigative project, which didn’t make sense because science was definitely not my strongest point. Needless to say it didn’t go well and I ended up being a terrible leader. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers:  Butterfinger, even though they’re a bitch to eat and chew.

Have you ever stepped in dog poop?  Maybe once or twice. It fortunately doesn’t happen a lot.

What was the last thing you spent money on?  I got Angela and Reena cheese tarts. The reason behind it was Jin held a VLIve last Monday and he had been eating egg tarts during the stream; and because I was happy to have watched my first Jin live, I got my friends cheese tarts hahaha. I don’t know a lot of places that sells good egg tarts so I settled for cheese tarts instead, which I think are better anyway.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?  Yeah.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you?  I guess Hans? We personally don’t get to have a lot of heart-to-heart exchanges, but considering how Angela’s my greatest confidante I’m sure she has shared bits of my life to him, which I don’t mind.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without?  I don’t really like answering this question anymore because the people that I’ve declared ‘for keeps’ have faded out of my life at some point. I’m a lot more guarded and self-preservation-y when it comes to this now.

Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee?  Ooooh, both. I love coffee.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum?  No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors?  If the weather is nice, yes.

Do people tell you that you have an accent?  I mean I’ve been told my English is strong, but my accent in particular doesn’t really get noted.

Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July?  I don’t celebrate that.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you?  I don’t like talking about my brother. Otherwise I am pretty open about everything.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for?  Several people come to mind.

Do you enjoy tanning?  If I’m at the beach, sure. It’s honestly not something I have to constantly keep up with, though, since I’m already naturally tan enough. Are you a virgin?  No.

Who’s your celebrity crush?  Taehyung :(

Did or do you get good grades in English class?  I always got pretty good grades in English.

What part of your body are you self-conscious about?  Teeth, and my legs sometimes.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner?  I don’t celebrate that.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?  Yes.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender?  Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot?  Last month, then I’m getting my second dose tomorrow.

[radramblog]

The default Microsoft XP Games

This evening I have decided to write some nonsense. It’s my god-given right to bullshit, and a gift I’ve been cultivating for years. Also because I’m tired and have other things to be spending precious brainpower on.

After pondering some ideas, some silly, some sillier, I landed on this. The original plan was to go through the Google Doodle games, but A. I couldn’t find a repository of them in the approximately one minute I tried looking, and B. There’s probably, like, a lot of them. Plus, XP was the OS of the family computer when I was a kid, so you bet your ass I tried these out. Er, most of them. Because when you’re a 6-year-old looking for shit to do and the edutainment well is running a little dry, you turn to some odd places. So I have little a nostalgia, as a treat.

Okay so, first on the list is….a bunch of Internet games. Backgammon, Checkers, Hearts, Reversi, and Spades. Now, I’ve heard of most of these in board/card game form (dunno what Spades is), but it’s hard to give these any sort of love because… you know… I didn’t play them. At all, ever. Kid me wasn’t going to be able to figure out how to get an online game running in 2004, let alone sign up for an account or even connect to the internet when we had dialup. At the same time, I imagine these would have ended up kinda popular, because hey- loads of people have nostalgia for the default games, and these were ones you could play with other people! I’m surprised they didn’t have Chess on there, actually.

They really looked like that, huh.

Anyway, you can’t play any of these anymore, the server support ended in….2019?! Who the fuck was running the XP Internet Checkers service in 2019? That’s a full 10 years after updates and support for the OS actually stopped. Why did it take so long to shut down these random servers?

Moving on, we have Hearts. A…local version of the Internet Hearts, I suppose. This is one I definitely remember attempting to play as a kid, but apparently I never tried reading the actual instructions. Or if I did, I sure couldn’t parse them. I just remember losing a lot, a streak I have clearly continued, as I sure have still yet to Get Good At Games. I’m going to be honest, I probably can’t be bothered figuring them out now. Even if I did, who am I going to play with? You need 4 players for this game, exactly, and I have a hard enough time getting 3 other people to play Magic with.

Next thing, going very alphabetically here, is Freecell. The other one I never figured out. At least with hearts, I could make moves, pretend like I was playing the game, but I’m pretty sure with Freecell I just never actually figured out how to start the game. After a brief moment of research, it appears to be a Solitare variant (oh we’ll get to you), and considering I’ve never heard it brought up elsewhere, it’s probably not a very popular one. Something to be said about messing with what works. According to good old fashioned Wikipedia, it’s a version where almost every single theoretically possible hand is winnable, which is nice, but I’m sure most people are still going to cock it up.

Speaking of Solitaire variants, might as well bring up Spider. I definitely actually figured out how to play this one at some point, likely a result of having figured out regular Solitaire. It is, however, much more complicated, I believe, what with using more than one deck and just having stacks of stacks. This also makes it more difficult, and thereby, more frustrating- apparently as opposed to Freecell this one has approximately a 1 in 3 winrate if you know what you’re doing, and I don’t really like those odds. Of course, apparently regular Solitaire (aka Klondike, but most people call it Solitaire because of Microsoft) is even worse, so.

Remind we why this is called Spider again?

Finally the big one, Regular Fucking Solitaire. Known by many names- Patience, American Patience, Demon Patience, and Triangle. Wikipedia, what the fuck?

I think at this point Solitaire is not just iconic of XP, but of Windows in general. Perhaps I’m showing my age a bit here, since I’m sure it was in a version of the OS long before I showed up to give it a shot, but obviously its what I know it from. Aside from just the game itself, even the victory screen itself is well remembered, cards duplicating and cascading across the screen. I don’t know who programmed that, or who decided it should be a thing, but they made a good choice- it’s incredibly satisfying.

Solitaire is just kind of really satisfying. It’s a simple enough puzzle, with a huge amount of potential depth and billions of possible combinations, making it kind of the perfect timewaster. Did they know what they were doing when they added it to Windows in the first place? Imagine how much productivity that decision cost offices worldwide.

Nahh, those fuckers weren’t getting up to anything anyway.

There are two games remaining to talk about, and we might as well get Minesweeper out of the way. I don’t know why, but I never really got into Minesweeper. Just bounced right off of it. Actually, in retrospect, it’s probably because 1. I didn’t know what I was doing, and B., even when I did figure it out, I definitely took a while to figure out the right click -> flag mine input. The game is not especially appealing to kids when you don’t have that sorted, and honestly, I’m not sure it gets much better when you do.

Finally, the last and clearly best game on the list, motherfucking  3D Pinball Space Cadet. Apparently this is actually one map included as a demo for an actual buyable game with a whole 3 boards, but I can’t imagine anyone buying it. For one, it’d have to be pretty cheap to make that worth it, especially since we already have one for free- and yeah, we have a third of it already, who needs to buy it.

I’ve always really enjoyed Pinball, even if I’m not very good at it. I’m not the type to obsess over it, or get competitive like people apparently do. I just really enjoy it, and would love to have my own table someday. And I think this game is the cause.

Unlike the previous entries on this list, 3D Pinball feels more like an actual game rather than a timewaster. It has art, and sound effects, and flashing lights and everything. Those sound effects are absolutely burned into my brain at this point. Considering only it and Minesweeper aren’t existing things you could already do with playing cards (or in the case of the Internet series, various boards), they’re the only ones you can really apply video game design philosophy to.

And the result I think is fairly interesting. 3D Pinball, despite having the full power of early 2000s processing at its fingertips, plays much like an actual machine as compared to other Pinball-based video games. One could argue this is a result of its default inclusion- too much Stuff would alienate the gentile audience they were going for, after all. The choice of Space Cadet as a theme suits well the 3D design- both three-dimensional games and, well, Space travel felt similarly ambitious for a while, and I’m sure this game was a lot of people’s introductions to 3D on a PC.

I don’t think this game has had the longevity of Solitaire and Minesweeper in the greater public eye- likely a result of them being around for longer and available in more than three versions of Windows- but for those around my age, who grew up on XP and were attracted to the shiny thing, I could argue it’s just as memorable.

And that’s the full listing. A bit hit or miss, but you have to keep in mind that these were both free and developed by Microsoft before they really had a games studio. These days, what with Xbox, Microsoft not making games really seems odd to think about, but outside of a limited few like these, that was just the facts.

And then they went and made some really weird ones for Vista and 7, and they weren’t good (except Mahjong but they didn’t really make that so much as port it), and then for Windows 8/10 they made them downloadable and…put ads on them….

Man, bring me back to those days, huh.

[musingsofonehuman]

Shall we talk Xbox? Unless you wanna talk about Ubisoft but I’d rather not, I already feel ill as it is.

So, Xbox had their Xbox Games Showcase yesterday, an hour long video showing off all manner of video games for their Xbox Series X and Xbox Game Pass, overall, I would say it was very good, a nice plethora of games, some we already knew about and others we didn’t, plus it’s nice to know games will be getting updated to use the new hardware. I do have one big criticism though, more gameplay was needed.

We saw in the Sony showcase that gameplay helps with understanding the game, with being able to make a judgment on whether this is a game you’ll enjoy, and we hardly saw any in the Xbox showcase, yes there was a nice chunk of Halo Infinite gameplay, but apart from that, it was all scattered between cutscenes and cinematics. I get wanting to use cinematic trailers when you’re announcing games, probably because the game is not in a state where it’s ready to be shown yet, but after that, you need to be using gameplay trailers at the minimum, preferably chunks of gameplay, even just a minute or two, just to get a feel for the game. I think back to Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart, a two minute trailer, a few cinematics, but a solid chunk of gameplay that I could digest, that helped understand the game so much more than a flashy trailer, developers need to be more confident in showing off their games, just show them, and if it gets a negative reaction, learn from it, use that feedback and make the game better, that’s what feedback is for.

But like I was saying, it was really good, but nothing never really stood out for me, there was no game that I saw as a must have, I’ve never been a Halo fan and while Forza, Everwild and Tetris Effect looked really good, nothing grabbed my attention, and I think that was deliberate.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Xbox is purposefully making mediocre games, that developers are making games that are meh, of course developers are going to put their all into it to try and make the best game possible. However, you have to remember the strategy that Xbox is now going for, you have to remember one key thing throughout all this, Xbox Game Pass (XGP). For those that don’t know, XGP is basically their version of Netflix, for a payment each month, you can get access to a range of games that you download and play, currently there’s over 100 games on the service, available across Xbox consoles and Windows PCs, there’s an Ultimate version where you get XGP for console and PC as well as Xbox Live Gold, their online service.

For Xbox, XGP is a big deal right now, it currently has over 10 million subscribers, and has become a huge revenue source for Xbox, and they’re pushing it hard for the next generation, all first party games will be available on XGP on day one, and all the games shown in the showcase will be available on XGP on day one or free to play. XGP has revitalised Xbox and set them on a whole different path from Sony, whereas Sony are pushing to make the PS5 the next big thing, Xbox have decided to take another route, yes they’re still making consoles, and powerful ones by the sound of it, but instead of making people come to Xbox, they’re taking Xbox to the people. One of their big initiatives over the past few years has been xCloud, their streaming service, and in September, XGP Ultimate members are gonna be able to use xCloud as part of their subscription.

That’s the point, over the past number of years, we’ve seen a transition away from buying physical games, to downloading digitally, and this is the next step, streaming them over the internet, Xbox doesn’t need to tie its games to a platform when they can be streamed to a phone or tablet. You don’t have to buy the big box to play all the next gen games, simply pay the subscription fee, grab your phone and away you go, it makes gaming affordable for so many people, a past time that has always been quite expensive is now just a subscription fee away. Mind you, it is worth keeping in mind that the technology may not be ready for use yet, we’ve seen Google Stadia come and fall flat on its arse, whose to say xCloud won’t go the same way.

All of that brings me back to the Showcase. Was it a deliberate choice to show mediocre games? No, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if the games are mediocre or not, if the games are meh, because they’re all on XGP, you can just try it, it doesn’t cost anything extra, and that’s the key point. It doesn’t have to be mind grabbing because it doesn’t cost anything to try, again, Netflix, you watch a decent movie, it was ok, but you don’t feel ripped off because you didn’t pay extra, it’s part of the service, so long as you’re paying for the service, they don’t care what you watch, what you play, it’s about getting you onto the service and keeping you there. That’s why we’re seeing all these different types of games from Xbox Game Studios, games like Bleeding Edge, Grounded, because they don’t need to be sold at a premium, they’ve already got an audience, the people who have XGP. Bang! It pops up, you download it and try it, don’t like it? Uninstall it, you haven’t spent anything. I have XGP and I tried Gears 5 when it came out, never played Gears before, not a shooter fan, but I was pleasantly surprised, not interested in the multiplayer, but the single player was enjoyable.

I think back to a gamesindustry.biz article I read, and a quote from Tim Schafer talking about how he felt like he now had the freedom to try all different types of projects, and the reason he can do that is because there’s already an established audience, so it doesn’t matter if the games aren’t of the highest quality, because you haven’t paid for the game outright, therefore developers can make niche games that most likely wouldn’t sell on their own, but they will as part of a subscription. Sony on the other hand has to make out-of-the-park hitters as they’re still selling their games at a premium, so they have to justify the price of the game by making them standout blockbusters.

"It does make me think about some of the crazy game ideas we've had, and some of them you're just like... I can never pitch this to any publisher. I would never get this signed. But I am now opening up that folder of documents again, and going 'oh I really love this idea, I bet I could do that now'."

To that end, there was also something else I noticed about the Xbox Showcase, some of their long standing IPs seemed to be getting refreshed in a way, think about it. It wasn’t Halo 6, Forza Motorsport 8, or Fable 4, instead it was Halo Infinite, Forza Motorsport and Fable. It seemed like games were getting refreshed and rebooted for a new era, for a new generation, but not console generation. I think Xbox IPs are getting refreshed for the transition to xCloud. For Xbox, the next generation is not just about the Xbox Series X for them, but it’s also about their streaming service, it’s all about XGP, getting people to sign up to XGP, and perhaps, by refreshing their current IP, they may be able to bring in a new audience of players. This is all just pure thought, but it was interesting to see some of their biggest IP not getting numbered sequels, I do wonder if the next Gears game will be Gears 6 or if it will be called something else, just a thought to consider.

I suppose all of this is why I viewed the Xbox Games Showcase as very good and not mind blowing, because the games don’t need to be mind blowing, they’re not selling the games, they’re trying to sell XGP, and yet, we’ve all watched these conferences for years, waiting for some game to come across and steal the headlines, Xbox doesn’t need to do that anymore, they just need to give you a reason to subscribe to XGP. If anything, the Xbox Games Showcase is a misleading title, it should have been called the Xbox Game Pass Showcase, showcasing all the games you can try on Xbox Game Pass. They’ve mentioned they’re doing another showcase later this year, so it’s gonna be interesting to see how that one unfurls. In the meantime though, let’s talk about Ubis-hurls out of window-.........on second thought, let’s not.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Ninety-Five: Out to Dinner ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Hyūga Hiashi, Hyūga Hanabi ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Well...today’s the day.

And he has...no idea what he’s supposed to do.

They arrange to meet in the early afternoon, Hinata promising her father she’d use the morning to tend to some of her homework before taking the rest of the day off. Hiashi agreed, and so Sasuke arrives at her house at about two in the afternoon. And even after several hours to sit and think about it, he still has little to go on in regards to what a date is really...supposed to be. A few minutes are spent sat in the car, nibbling his lip in thought.

...now or never.

Getting out of the driver’s side, he gives the house a once-over. It’s a two story white craftsman, on a large corner lot with a sizeable, well-kept yard. All it needs is a picket fence and you’d see it in one of those magazines housewives are always drooling over. He’d know: Mikoto always has one lying around someplace, dreaming of remodeling their house.

Walking up the path to the front door, he gives the bell a ring. He texted Hinata five minutes before he arrived, but...well, he’s expecting someone else to answer the door.

And it turns out, he’s right.

Hiashi is who pulls it open, beholding Sasuke properly for the first time. Sasuke, in turn, does his best to stand in some manner that doesn’t look forced, but not too relaxed, either.

“...sir.”

“You must be Sasuke,” the Hyūga muses.

“Yes, sir.”

“...you needn’t call me sir. Mister Hyūga is polite enough.”

“Er...right. Is, uh...is Hinata ready…?”

“I believe she is finishing up. You may come in to wait, if you wish.”

“...thanks.” Stepping in to a tiled entryway, Sasuke just sort of...lingers, not daring to get his shoes on any carpet. The interior, like the exterior, is mostly white: everything is greyscale, light and airy. It’s...probably the nicest house he’s ever been in. His own is nothing to sneeze at, but...wow. This place is nice.

Hands in his pockets, he watches as Hiashi retreats out of sight. Well...so much for making small talk. But maybe he’s glad for it, honestly. They haven’t exactly gotten off to a good start…hopefully Hinata won’t take too much longer.

But before she comes downstairs, another person walks past: her little sister, Hanabi, who Sasuke has heard...very little about. Looking very much like her father with the same face shape and hair shade, she pauses as she catches sight of him.

...there’s an awkward moment of staring.

“...you Hinata’s boyfriend?” she asks, speaking past a stick of pocky in her mouth.

“Uh...yeah. That’s me.”

“...you’re hotter than I thought you’d be.”

As Sasuke balks, she breaks into a laugh, waving a hand and continuing on through the house.

...what was that?!

It’s then Hinata comes down the stairs, slowing to a stop as she catches his expression. “...are you okay?”

“...yeah. Just...met your sister.”

Understanding seems to brighten her face. “Oh...that explains it. She say anything...weird?”

“...she thinks I’m hot.”

She can’t stop a snort. “Yeah, that’s...Hanabi for you. She’s in that weird eighth grader stage.”

From another room, the younger sister calls, “I HEARD THAT!”

Hinata just rolls her eyes. “Ready to go?”

“I think so.”

“Okay...let me go say goodbye to my dad, then we can head out!”

“No need.”

Hiashi then rounds the corner, Hinata looking a bit surprised. “Oh! Well...Dad, this is Sasuke, Sasuke...this is my dad, Hiashi.”

“We had a...brief introduction when he arrived,” the patriarch assures her. “So, I suppose this is where I set the boundaries? Home by ten, and do call if you have any major changes in plans. Which...would be?”

“Uh...thought we’d go hang out at the mall, maybe catch a movie and some dinner…?” Sasuke shrugs.

Amusement flickers Hiashi’s lips for just a moment. “Agreeable. Do be careful, Hinata.”

“I will. See you when I get back.”

The teens then make their way back outside and into Mikoto’s SUV. As Sasuke does up his seatbelt, he mumbles, “...that was the most awkward introduction I’ve ever had in my life.”

Hinata can’t help a giggle. “I’m sorry...m-my dad’s really...stiff. He’s too serious, but...he tries.”

“He didn’t hate me?”

“If he hated you, we wouldn’t be in the car right now.”

“...okay then. So, uh...mall sound good to you? I...really have no idea what else to do. It’s where I go to bum around with Naruto most of the time.”

“Sure! In all honesty...I don’t even know what movies are playing right now…”

“Then we’ll both be surprised.” Backing from the driveway, Sasuke steers the car toward downtown, the mall soon looming before them. Once parked in the garage, they head up into the building proper. “Got any favorite places to browse?”

“A few, but...they’re mostly for clothes. I don’t want to b-bore you.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Um...there’s also a neat bookstore, with board games and stuff?”

“I think I know that one...should we start there?”

“Sure!”

They mosey, taking their time and window shopping on the way. Sasuke very rarely goes in most of the shops in the mall, preferring to just walk around and people watch, maybe peruse things in the displays. His allowance pays okay, but he prefers to save and splurge on stuff for his PC or games for his Playstation.

The bookstore is pretty busy, filled mostly with younger kids. But that doesn’t stop Hinata from looking over their puzzles and books, Sasuke observing a model train do its laps alongside a few tykes.

Without him looking, Hinata takes a small video of it, smiling behind her phone.

In the end she buys a few new books, Sasuke finding an old school PC game he used to play in elementary school to splurge on. Sheepishly explaining the educational title to her, he glances over as she giggles.

“I remember that one! It was on the computers in the library!”

“Yeah! I didn’t think you could find it anymore...maybe it won’t even play on my computer, but it was only ten bucks...might as well try.”

“Mhm!”

From there, they go to the in-mall cinema, picking a movie at random based on the posters. It’s a comedy, the pair sharing some overpriced candy and popcorn. Sasuke quickly grows a bit bored, but gets a kick out of Hinata paying rapt attention and laughing every few seconds.

...she’s so cute.

After that, they wander a little longer, Hinata dragging him into a rather...eclectic place with weird clothes, crystals, incense, and fancy glass sculptures.

“Oh, wow...look at that one!” Hinata points to a lion posed atop a rock. “It’s so pretty…!”

“You like lions?”

“I was...a big Lion King fan as a kid.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm!” She gives him a glance. “What about you?”

“Me?”

“Everyone has the Disney movie from when they were a kid. What was yours?”

“Actually, it was uh...The Black Cauldron.”

“Really?! That one was so scary!”

“Yeah, that’s why I liked it! No one else really seemed to, though...my brother was all about Hercules.”

“Aww, I love that one…”

“...you gonna buy that, then?”

“Oh gosh, no...it’s way too expensive.”

“...what if I go in half?”

“Sasuke, no!”

“You want it, don’t you?”

“W-well, yeah! But -?”

“I’ll pay half.”

Torn between stubborn refusal and longing, she bites her lip before giving in. “...oh, okay! But I owe you.”

“Whatever you say.”

Once the fragile artwork is carefully wrapped and put in a box, the pair make their way to the few restaurants on the main floor. “What sounds good?”

“Anything, really...that popcorn didn’t fill me up at all!”

They head into a grill, ordering and chatting as they wait.

“Are you nervous about state?”

“...yeah, kinda. Mostly I’m just psyched we’re going, but...now that we’re going? I wanna go all the way.”

“I bet you will.”

“I dunno...there’s a lot of good teams. But we’ll sure try.”

“I’ll be there to cheer you on, okay? Sakura said she’d go with me, since she and Naruto finally g-got together.”

Sasuke pauses for a moment. “...that doesn’t bother you?”

“...should it?”

“You liked him for a long time.”

“...well, I’m not what he wanted. And that’s okay.” She gives him a shy smile. “...and you liked me for a long time, so...m-maybe it’s only fair.”

“Is that why you asked me out?”

“No! Well...maybe partially. But also because I like you, and...I w-want to give this a try.” After a small hesitation, she puts a hand atop his own on the table, earning a small blush.

“...o-okay.”

After going out for dinner (and Hinata indulging in dessert, which Sasuke skips with his lack of a sweet tooth), they wander a little longer to let their meals settle. Then back to the car they head, both clearly disappointed the evening is almost over.

“...well, did you have fun?” he asks, maneuvering out of the garage.

“I did...a lot, actually. And thank you again for the lion...I am going to pay you back for that!”

“You can try,” he teases.

Pulling along the curb at her house, Sasuke walks her up to the door, hands in his pockets as she carries her few bags from her shopping.

“...thank you for taking me,” she eventually offers as they idle.

“Yeah, well...thanks for asking me,” Sasuke counters with a hint of a grin. “...it was really nice.”

“Would you...w-want to do it again sometime? Well...maybe something different, I mean, but another...d-date?”

“...I think I would. We’ll, uh...plan a bit more next time.”

Hinata giggles. “...okay.”

...another silence blooms.

“...well...I better get inside…”

“Yeah, I gotta get home, too.”

“Text me when you get home, so...I know you made it okay?”

“Sure.”

After another pause, Hinata hesitates for a moment before swooping forward atop the step. Lips give a press to Sasuke’s cheek, which quickly blooms red. “...goodnight.”

“...night,” he manages to reply, watching her head in. Blinking a few times, he then dares to grin, walking on air to the car.

...maybe this whole date thing isn’t so bad.

                                                                 .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 149, 168, 183, 271, 287, and 294!)      hhhhh I have an early morning tomorrow and now it's 2am BUT I GOT THIS DONE xD More of the sports verse: they're on a date! Finally! And neither of them know what they're doing, lol - but at least they had fun x3      Anyway I REALLY gotta go, so...thanks for reading!

[delta-roseblr]

Hey Delta, I was wondering if you might write something about Dean working and Felix seeing him and thinking he's hot (Felix has to get a book or get something for/with his father for the garden?). And then later kissing the hell out of Dean (in 2nd senario = because it got him hot and bothered to see Dean working (muscular) and he thinks about it all day).

Hello, 

So I took my own twist on this scenario (I feel like I always say that). It was a really fun idea to play with.

This takes place pretty soon after Felix and Dean got back together.

I hope you enjoy!

______________________________________________________________

“This is so fucking stupid,” Felixexclaimed as he climbed out of his dad’s SUV. He was in a fucking mood to startthat day. He had gotten up early to drive his mom and sister to the airport,and he was sweating his fucking ass off because it was fucking hot as hell.Getting dragged out to this dinner was only making it fucking worse.

“Felix,” his dad sighed as he got out ofthe car too. He had been doing that a lot lately, sighing like Felix was themost exhausting thing in the universe. If that was supposed to make Felix feelguilty about his behavior, it failed miserably. Felix took it as a point ofpride that he was a source of continuing disappointment for his father. Leonardwasn’t someone Felix cared about making proud. He honestly didn’t think Leonardreally gave a fuck either except to keep up appearances, which was probably whythey were going to dinner. He needed to make sure the neighbors saw him being agood dad. “Why do we have to keep talking about your cursing?”

“Because you keep bringing it the fuck up,”Felix replied dismissively.

“It’s impolite,” his father informed withundue emphasis.

Felix smirked as he looked over the hood ofthe car. “That’s the fucking point,” he admitted happily. At this point, he wasjust being purposefully difficult which was improving his mood at least alittle.

“Felix,” Leonard pressed a hand on thehood of the car. “Could you please not, just for one night?” He still soundedexasperated, but there was a hard edge there as well. That was a newer thingthat had started around the time that he had found out about Dean. It had onlybeen a week, and that shit was already getting beyond old.

“Whatever you fucking say, I guess,” Felixdeclared with a heavy eye roll as he turned away from the car. “You’re theboss, right?” He called over his shoulder before starting out of the parkinglot.

Felix was so fucking sick and tired ofhearing about how Leonard was the boss, and that under his house it was hisrules. It had been kind of fun to watch his mom put her foot down when it cameto Leonard’s rules. Felix got his phone back, and he could leave the house now,as long as he told his dad where he was going and was home by 8 pm. There wasstill a laundry list of stupid fucking rules like he wasn’t allowed to haveDean over if his dad wasn’t at the house, but it was a start.

“I’m not trying to start a fight,” his dadinformed as he jogged to catch up with him. Want to see something truly tragic?Watch a middle-aged man jog. Felix rolled his eyes and kept walking. WhenLeonard caught up Felix heard him sigh, or maybe he was just out of fuckingbreath. “I just want to have a nice meal where we could talk.”

Felix reached the sidewalk and snorted. “Yeah,sure you want to talk,” he dismissed. Maybe he wanted to lecture. He could tellFelix more about how he needed to make “good” choices because he wouldn’t wantto regret things later or how it is important for Felix to think of his future.It was all just Leonard’s PC way for his dad to tell him to not be gay.

Fuckhim.

“I do,” Leonard stated insistently. Felixhad to admit his dad sounded almost believable, which was rather impressive.Felix still didn’t buy it because he wasn’t a fucking idiot. He wasn’t surewhat had inspired the whole father of the year act. It could have been his momvisiting or it could have been Naomi dumping his ass. Felix didn’t know, and hedidn’t fucking care. His dad could lay it on thick all he wanted. Felix wasn’tbuying it. “I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” his father added soundingalmost sad.

Well, that put it over the fucking top,Felix thought to himself. “When did you know me?” He questioned dismissively.Most of his memories of his childhood involved his father either leaving afamily event for work or just not being there. He was pretty sure his dad hadnever come to any of his soccer or lacrosse games, and he knew that he hadnever gone to any of Alley’s dance recitals. His mom hadn’t been great aboutthat stuff either, but she had at least been better. And the shit Felix hadgotten away with when he had lived in Vermont had been beyond fucking insane.He was pretty sure if his dad had an idea of half the shit he had done he wouldhave fucking died. But yeah, now he didn’t know Felix. Sure. “Like ever?”

Leonard sighed so heavily, Felix was sureit was fake. Was he not supposed to call his dad out on his bullshit? Aftercalling Dean a bad influence and then later threatening to have him arrested,Felix couldn’t do that.

He just continued in his path toward theirdestination with a newfound determination to just get the whole thing overwith. “Well, at least I know I warrant the best restaurant in town,” hecommented as he turned a corner and started down the town’s main street, “Ohwait, it is the only restaurant in town.”

Leonard didn’t have a retort for that one,and Felix really hoped that was the start of a new trend for the evening. Withschool officially out for summer, there seemed to be more activity around town.The local teens seemed to swarm the few attractions like bees. Felix noticed afew kids from his grade, and he didn’t pay any of them any attention.

Felix heard someone talking in thedistance, and it was just barely audible, but it still immediately caught hisattention. “Dean, thank you again for helping out,” Felix heard a man statesounding genuinely gracious.

At the mention of Dean, Felix stopped andlooked around. With Leonard’s freak out he really hadn’t been able to see Deanall that much. That didn’t mean he wasn’t able to spot Dean almost immediately.He was standing outside of the used bookstore where he sometimes worked, whichwas just across the street from where Felix was standing.

“Felix?” his father questioned catchingFelix’s attention. He turned to look at his father who had kept walking a fewfeet before realizing that Felix was no longer with him and stopped. He waslooking back at Felix confused but then he turned his head in the directionFelix had been looking. When he turned back Felix couldn’t figure out if helooked disappointed or frustrated or a mix of the two. “No,” he stated firmly,“Absolutely not.”

Felix had actually been on the fence aboutcrossing the street and trying to get Dean’s attention. Dean was obviouslyworking, and Felix didn’t want to get in the way of that or anything. Themoment his dad looked at him like that and told him no Felix was dead set to doit just to spite Leonard.

He turned and jogged across the streetheading toward where Dean was standing with an older man. He was halfway acrossthe street when he called out, “Dean!?!”

Dean heard him, that much was immediatelyobvious because he perked up and looked around for a few seconds. When hespotted Felix, he smiled and waved in Felix’s direction before turning back tothe older man he had been speaking to.

By the time Felix managed to cross thestreet, the older man Dean had been talking to had walked back into the store,so Dean was standing alone. He looked really….rugged, like more than normal notthat Dean normally looked particularly rugged. Actually, Dean normally lookedpretty clean-cut but in like a grunge sort of way (if that makes any sense).His clothes were always well-worn but clean. That day however Dean was standingthere in cargo shorts and a black tank top. He had definitely been working andnot just stocking books if the dirt on his clothes and in his hair was any indication.His hair was messier than usual, and he was covered with a sheen layer ofsweat.

Felix wasn’t the type to be into beingthrown around or anything like that. He might have been the more regular bottomin the relationship, but that didn’t mean he was submissive or into beingdominated. Still, seeing Dean looking all dirty and sweaty and generallymasculine brought images of those sorts of things to mind, and it turned Felixon more than he would have ever expected.

“Hey,” Dean greeted with a smile and a wave.He was clearly completely unaware of the level of sexual frustration his veryexistence in his present state was causing Felix. “What are you doing here?” hequestioned sounding a mix of surprised and excited.

“I have to have dinner with my dad,” Felixadmitted, and he hoped he made it clear just how unenthusiastic he was aboutthat idea.

Dean looked so dirty and sweaty, and Felixcouldn’t stop thinking about it. He wanted Dean to make him dirty and sweatytoo, and it was really distracting. He might have pointed back at where his dadmight have been, but Felix honestly couldn’t be sure because he was too busystaring at Dean’s sweaty and dirty arms.

Fuck!

“Oh,” Dean exclaimed with a nervous lookaround Felix and then gave the world’s most awkward wave ever. “Hi, Mr. Jackson,”Dean called. He clearly was trying to sound friendly or excited, but he failedso fucking badly. Dean could tell he failed too if his expression was anyindication. It wasn’t Dean’s fault. Leonard was the one that had been acomplete and utter dick about everything. Dean was just the type that wanted tobe liked and felt like he needed to keep trying.

“Um,” Felix hummed. He was still trying notto think about how hot Dean looked, and he definitely didn’t want to thinkabout his dad. “What are you doing?” he questioned.

Dean shrugged, and it was probably just anillusion, like a trick of the light or some shit, but the little motion madethe muscles on his arms ripple. “Working,” he answered completely unaware thathe was literally killing Felix with his rugged manliness.

To make matters worse his dad hadofficially caught up with him and was standing next to him. Felix didn’t haveto look at him to know that he was probably looking a mix of inpatient anduncomfortable. Felix didn’t actually give a fuck, but it still made the wholesituation more complicated somehow. Maybe it was the juxtaposition of havingsomeone he wanted so fucking bad (Dean) and someone he couldn’t stand (his dad)so close together.

“Well, I figured,” Felix stated before hisdad could jump in and say something stupid or offensive or both, “But shouldn’tyou be like putting books on a shelf or something?” He knew Dean had workedwith landscaping before during the summers, but he was standing outside of thebookstore (which was his favorite summer job ever) so it didn’t seem to match.“Not all….” Felix paused and almost involuntarily looked Dean over, “Dirty.”

Fuck, Dean looked sofucking good. Just looking at him was short-circuiting Felix’s brain. He wassurprised he was managing words at all.

“Mr. Campbell has an old shoulder injury,”Dean explained still apparently oblivious to the effect he was having on Felixjust by existing in his sweaty and dirty state. He pointed back toward thebookstore where the older man had disappeared before. Felix guessed the olderman had been Mr. Campbell, not that that mattered at the moment, especiallywhen Dean was so sweaty. “So, I help with the planters at the start of thesummer.”

“How responsible of you,” Felix’s dadstated. His voice was so strained Felix could tell that it was killing him tosay something nice to Dean. “We should probably let you get back to work,” hedeclared and then had the actual nerve to grab Felix’s arm. It wasn’t hard or anything,but it was enough to send the message that it was time for them to move along.“Felix-”

Felix shrugged Leonard’s hand off his armand shot him a look. He was tempted to tell him to go fuck himself, but he hada feeling that might get in the way of his new goal for the night, so the glarehad to do. It lasted less than a second before Felix turned back to Dean whowas still a sweaty, dirty Adonis and questioned, “So, is this like an all-nightthing or…?”

“Nah,” Dean answered with a shrug. HowDean was managing to make shrugging look so fucking sexy Felix hadn’t a clue,but he was, and it was not fair. “I only have a couple of planters left, so Ishould be done in an hour or so.”

“Maybe we could hang out after?” Felixquestioned, “Ya know, when I’m done with dinner and all that shit.”

Dean immediately grinned ear to ear at thequestion. “Yeah, I would love that,” he answered with what sounded like genuineexcitement. Leonard, of-fucking-course, coughed and ruined the fucking moment.Dean’s smile faltered, and he shot a nervous look in Leonard’s direction. “Um,”he hummed nervously, “If that’s okay with you, Mr. Jackson.”

Oh, that was just the moment Leonard waswaiting for, and he was quick to jump on it. “I don’t think-”

“He’ll deal,” Felix declared cutting hisfather off before he could say no. “I’ll text you,” he promised before grabbinghis dad’s arm and started pulling him away. Come hell or high water he wasgoing to see Dean that night, that much Felix was sure. The real challenge wasgoing to be getting through dinner without thinking about him being all sweaty,dirty, and hot.

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[sodoyouknowbts]

Jungkook x Reader - Game On! (Sixteen)

Summary: Jungkook was the boy you had always had a crush on but after an event that leaves you heartbroken and humiliated, you cut him from your life. However, years later your paths cross again and now an adult, you swear to not let him get the better of you.

Genre: Romance, drama,

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Author: Moxie

Chapter 16

You finish off the rest of your email correspondence and after giving it a quick once over, you click send. Once done, you lean back into your seat with a heavy sigh.  The day had dragged on at a painstakingly slow pace and after what seemed like years, you were finally done for the day.

Leaning your elbows onto your desk, you raise your hands and press your fingers against the side of your head, slowly massaging your temples. Since the morning, you have had a terrible migraine and it still lingered now, even after you had taken some paracetamol. Your head throbbed and it felt as though your brain was pushing against your skull. A constant nagging tug on the sides of your head. You could feel it pulsating as your veins pumped blood through it and that coupled with the ridiculously long day you've just had, meant you were in a terrible mood. Which sucks because you had dinner plans tonight with Jungkook's family.

You're contemplating whether or not to cancel when Eric pops his head over your cubicle wall. "Hey slacker" he greets you with a ridiculously cheesy grin. "Find anything good today?"

You roll your eyes at him. Yesterday, much to your misfortune, Eric had caught you browsing through one of your favourite online clothing stores on your PC, instead of doing your work, which in your defence you were well and truly on top of. Whilst Eric hadn't scolded you for your misuse of work equipment during work hours, he did however feel the need to constantly bring it up, as if he hasn’t been on his phone.

"No, I did not" you reply curtly. Nickname aside, Eric turned out to be a good manager. He had an easy-going management style which meant that he was friendly but firm when need be. The entire team and the office, from what you could gather, seemed to like him, especially the female population who were glad to finally have some new eye candy seeing as how, as your friend poetically worded it "Jungkook was a god that was forever off limits to us mere mortals". 

You had laughed at his comparison of Jungkook as a god, knowing that if the females in your office knew what a temperamental brat Jungkook really was, then they wouldn't want to marry him anymore. Technically, Eric was off limits too since he was a department manager and Jungkook's best friend, a fact that only you and a handful of other managers knew but strangely enough and much to your bemusement, you and Eric had developed a friendship. It wasn't hard though, since Eric’s personality was just like your work friend. They were both ridiculously full of themselves and complete dorks. 

"Are you still working? Everyone's gone home for the day". At Eric's words you glance around you and aren't surprised to see that majority of the people in your office have left for the day, after all it was half past five. 

"I was just sending off some last-minute emails before going". You reply as you save your files on your desktop, a habit you had learnt from your university days, after you had nearly lost an assessment you had spent all night writing - which was worth fifty percent of your grade - when your laptop suddenly froze and restarted. "Are you on your way out?" You ask him, switching off your PC and  noting his black shoulder bag and blazer, draped casually over one of his forearms. 

"Yeah” He nods his head. “Are you heading down now? I'll walk with you".

You hesitate for a split second, feeling uncertain about Eric's offer. Earlier Jungkook had messaged you and advised that he had finished work and would wait for you downstairs. Although you and Eric were getting closer, you hadn't yet mentioned to Eric about your relationship to Jungkook and you weren't certain if Jungkook had mentioned it or if he was okay with Eric knowing about it. Then again you figure that it shouldn't be a problem since they're friends. With that thought you smile and agree. You're probably just over thinking it. As you walk out of the office, you ask Eric why he had stayed back. 

"I've still got some work to do but I'm just going to do it at home" he replies to you, pointing to his black Tommy Hilfiger bag "Plus, the office is creepy when I'm by myself"

You smile emphatically at Eric, feeling sorry for him. "I could never do your job. It's bad enough being at work for eight hours a day, I can't imagine having to do it during my off time as well". You shudder at the thought before stopping in front of the elevator.

"It's not so bad. I don't mind it and also don't forget I'm still your manager, you shouldn't talk bad about work" Eric playfully scolds you and presses the down button. 

The elevator arrives after a short moment and you step in, with Eric following in pursuit after you. As the doors shut and the elevator begins its sudden descent, you get overcome by a sense of vertigo. You close your eyes as the room begins to spin and you feel your feet give way from underneath you, momentarily. Luckily for you, Eric reacts quickly and catches you as you stumble into him. 

"Woah, are you okay?" He asks worriedly, giving your body a once over to make sure everything was okay. "Do you feel sick?" Your body appears fine however your face is unusually pale. He wonders if maybe you have a fever and goes to feel your forehead with the palm of his hand but you brush him away.

"I'm fine" you assure him, keeping your eyes closed until the dizziness subsides. Once you're sure the room has stopped spinning, you slowly open your eyes and pull away from Eric, thanking him. "I've just got a bit of a migraine". You pinch the bridge of your nose and squeeze your eyes shut as the throbbing sensation returns. You hate feeling like this. You just want the migraine to go away. 

Eric reluctantly releases, not feeling one hundred percent confident that you were going to be alright to stand on your own. Thankfully, the elevator arrives at the lobby and you gratefully step out, relishing the fresh air and solid ground beneath your feet. 

"Are you sure you're alright to walk?" Eric asks as you both approach the building doors. From his peripheral vision he spots Jungkook, waiting by his car, on his phone. As you step out of the building, Jungkook notices your presence and approaches you, placing his phone into his back pocket and hiding his surprise and find the two of you together.

"Hey" Eric greets, nodding his head to Jungkook, who reciprocates with his own head tilt. Males you think to yourself.

 "What are you still doing hanging around?" Eric asks him curiously, already having a slight idea as to what the answer could be. He glances at you from the corner of his eye before returning his attention to Jungkook. It suddenly clicks to him that you were the childhood friend that Jungkook had cancelled fight night for, which makes his warning to stay away from you even more interesting. 

You glance uncomfortable from Eric to Jungkook, not knowing if you should reply or not. Jungkook had caught you off guard by waiting for you outside of his car.  "Um..." you start when Jungkook interjects and saves you the hassel.

"I'm taking her to my parent's house for dinner".

You widen your eyes at Jungkook's blatant honestly and you look over to Eric to try and gage his response. To your surprise, you find that Eric doesn't look shocked to hear that you were going to Jungkook's house. At his reaction, you mentally let out a sigh, wondering why you had been so nervous for in the first place. Your migraine was making you overthink things you think to yourself as your shoulders relax. 

"Oh are you now?" Eric draws out the words, and gives Jungkook a look to say that he was caught out. "That's nice of you Jungkook, can I come?" 

"No" Jungkook replies bluntly, ignoring Eric's knowing look and the suggestion in his tone of voice.

"Aw man, you're no fun". Eric jokes half-heartedly before turning back to you. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asks with a concerned voice, capturing Jungkook's attention, who then turns to you

"You're not feeling well?" Jungkook repeats, finally noticing your pale face. "Do you want to skip tonight's dinner?"

"I'm fine" you tell the both of them with a sigh. "It's nothing" you flash Jungkook a reassuring smile, which he doesn't completely buy but rather than argue with you, he chooses to let it slide.

Feeling like a third-party outsider, Eric decides that it's time for him to go. As he turns to leave he stops mid step, remembering something.  "Oh yeah. I'm having welcome drinks for myself this Friday after work" he throws over his shoulder. "You both better be there!"

"Aren't we supposed to organize a welcome party?" You think to yourself aloud.

"It's Eric" Jungkook replies as an answer and begins to walk to his car. Not wanting to miss your ride, you quicken your pace to catch up with him. Once you reach his car, you open the passenger side door and slide in, leaning over the middle console to place your bag onto the backseat and out of your way.

As you settle into your seat, Jungkook turns on the engine and reverses out of his spot. "You don't have to go if you don't want to" he says as he pulls out onto the street. He presses a button on his steering wheel and turns on the radio, browsing through the channels until a song comes on, before resting one arm on his armrest. He didn't mind silent car rides because it gave him an opportunity to go over his thoughts but he knew how much you preferred listening to music. 

"I know" you reply, not registering Jungkook's thoughtfulness. "Are you going to go?" You didn't really have an intention to go, seeing as how the last work party you attended ended up with you getting a chair smashed over your back however a part of you had the strange suspicion that Eric wouldn't take no for an answer. Plus, if Jungkook went it probably wouldn’t be so bad.

"No, I don't usually attend work parties" Even though you had been expecting that answer from Jungkook, you still found yourself feeling slightly disappointed. 

"Something tells me Eric would drag you there against your will if you didn't go" you joke and chuckle at the imagine your mind has conjured up of Eric trying to wrestle Jungkook out of his house. There’s no doubt in your mind on who would win. Eric had broad shoulders but Jungkook had more muscle mass than he did. It would be an easy win for Jungkook, no doubt.

Jungkook glances at you from the corner of his eye, before returning his attention to the road. You had that dazed off look on your face again, the one that you made whenever your mind was wandering off and thinking about god knows what. 

"You're probably right" Jungkook says as he turns onto the freeway. The rest of the drive falls away as you immerse yourself in conversation. As Jungkook tells you about his day and the current tender he's working on, you take the time to do your favourite thing during car rides with him and that is to admire his face. Whilst he is distracted you shamelessly stare at him to your hearts content. As always, he was dressed in a button up shirt and trousers, tucked in and secured with a black belt. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting casually on his armrest. The perfect picture of a man who was relaxed and confident in his driving skills. You watch as he lifts up his hand from the armrest and rub his bottom lip. His mouth continues to move, forming words but you barely register them. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Jungkook demands, breaking you from your daydream. You move your eyes away from his lips and glance back up to him, finding his eyes immediately on you. Feeling your cheeks flush, you quickly stutter out a response. 

"Huh? Yeah of course I was" to make your words seem legitimate you try to recall what Jungkook has been talking about but alas you draw up blank. You take a shot in the dark. "You were talking about the tender...right?"

Jungkook let's out a sigh and shakes his head. You were clearly off the mark. "I said, that I hadn't realised you and Eric were close" Jungkook repeats himself, keeping his voice as nonchalant and uninterested as possible. Ever since he had seen you and Eric together that day after work, the thought had been nagging at him and then when he saw the two of you together again...

"Oh we're not that close" you reply, earning you a raised eyebrow from Jungkook.

Seeing his bewildered expression, you elaborate. "I mean, we're friends, sort of..."

Friends who give each other piggybacks after just meeting again? Jungkook holds back his response and bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from scoffing. He doesn’t know why he cares that you and Eric are friends but he does and for some reason the fact bothered him...more than it should. Maybe it was because he had warned Eric not to cause trouble for you? But then why did he even care? You were an adult. You could take care of yourself.

You wait for Jungkook to respond but he doesn't. Instead he continues to keep his eyes on the road in front of him and you can feel his mood suddenly shift. He puts off the vibe that he’s annoyed and you can’t help but wonder if you had said or done something wrong. Had you crossed the line by befriending Eric? Was that it? Was he...jealous? No way. You smack away the thought immediately before it even properly forms in your head. Maybe if pigs could fly. You wave off your thought. It was probably nothing. You were probably just reading too much into the situation yet again.

Yeah that was probably it.

"Don't worry, you're still my favourite" you joke, wanting to lighten the mood. You smile widely at Jungkook and bat your eyelashes. Not being able to take you seriously with your face looking so ridiculous, Jungkook let's out a soft chuckle and shakes his head.

"You're an idiot" he mutters.

Your smile grows wider as you succeed in bringing his mood back and you feel a big sense of achievement. The rest of the drive falls away as you ask Jungkook if he had watched the movie on Netflix you had recommended, amongst other things and soon you find yourself arriving at his parent's house.

As you step out of his car you notice that there's another car parked in the driveway that isn't usually there. "Did your father invite someone to dinner?" You ask, turning to Jungkook with a puzzled expression. 

He looks to you and then to the driveway, to see what has caught your attention. "It looks like my mother's home" he replies when he sees the car parked next to his father's. He closes his door and locks the car before rounding it and heading towards the front door. Following behind Jungkook, you try to hose your sudden unease at the mention of his mother. 

This will be the first time that you see her since returning home for the funeral because she had been away on a business trips every time you had come over for dinner, coincidentally and much to your relief. You had nothing against Jungkook's mother in fact you respected and idolised her completely. She was an amazing business and career woman who managed to succeed and rise to the top of her field whilst still catering to her family. Though to be fair she had a lot of help in the family aspect seeing as how Jungkook's father was a homebody and he took to being a stay-at-home father like a duck to water. Jungkook's mother was a powerful woman but she was also just like Jungkook. They both emitted a strong aura that intimidated you and it didn't help that she had a way of cutting straight to your insecurities with her blunt way of speaking. She was like a blood hunt. All she needed a whiff and she could narrow down and pin point exactly what your insecurities were and make you feel completely inferior. It’’s probably what makes her such a good business.

"Are you alright?" Jungkook asks you as he presses the doorbell. "Are you feeling sick again?"

You shake your head. Not sick, just scared of seeing your mother and having her think I'm an incompetent idiot you want to reply but there's no way you could say that to him. "I'm fine, just hungry" you smile convincingly through your lie.

--

The good news was that his mother was in a good mood. The bad news was that she was also in a talkative mood. Which didn't bode well for either you or Jungkook as you soon found out. 

When you had arrived, Jungkook's grandfather had greeted the both of you at the door, you with a giant hug and Jungkook with a less giant and more restrained hug, much to his determination.

“Why do you look thinner? Have you lost weight?” Are the first words out of his grandfather’s mouth upon your arrival. He regards you with a disapproving frown before turning to Jungkook, who was in the process of slipping off his shoes and smacks him loudly on the back, the sound resonated throughout the room. “Why has she lost weight?” His grandfather demanded, accompanying his question with a few more hits for emphasis. “Have you been starving her in that company of yours?”.

Jungkook scowled at his grandfather from the corner of his eye. He doesn’t know why he was the one getting yelled at, after all what did he have to do with your health and what you ate?  It was ridiculous. The old man was getting more senile with age. Jungkook manoeuvred his back out of range, knowing, without having to look, that there was probably a red hand mark on his back already and he didn’t particular want another one to match it. “Why are you hitting me for? I don’t control what she eats”.

“Then why has she lost weight?!” His grandfather yelled accusingly, raising his palm again, threatening to land another smack. Jungkook’s back was one of your favourite attributes about Jungkook and you hated the thought of it getting marred. You decided it was time to intervene, so you quickly placed yourself in front of Jungkook, wedging yourself between the two of them.

“Grandfather, please. It’s not Jungkook’s fault. I’ve just been really busy with work” You tried to console him but it backfires when his grandfather turned to Jungkook and pointed a finger at him.

“See, it IS your fault!” His voice cracked and he broke out into a coughing fit. Harsh, dry coughs that sounded painful to you. You placed a comforting hand on his back to help soothe him when a voice interrupted.

“Now father, you know you shouldn’t exert yourself. It isn’t good for your health”. You watched in awe as Jungkook’s mother descended from the stairs onto the landing. She was as beautiful and impeccably dressed as always in a cream blouse and white trousers that kissed the floor whenever she walked. She smiled upon seeing Jungkook.

“Jungkook” She said his name fondly as she lent in for a peck on the cheek. As she moved away you got a whiff of her expensive perfume. The scent, subtle and elegant, just like its wearer. Her ears were decorated with opulent pearl earrings and on her neck, a matching pearl necklace. Both screamed money, despite their deceivingly minimalistic appearance. 

Seeing his parents, anyone would understand where Jungkook got his good looks from. The guy was blessed with winning the genetic lottery. However, those who knew Jungkook’s parents would also say that Jungkook inherited not only his mother’s striking appearance but also most of her personality. They were both reserved and incredibly smart, with a brain for business and numbers, which explained why they both exceeded in the business world. They were also incredibly intense and serious. The only difference being that Jungkook had thankfully also taken after his father, who was a lot more down-to-Earth. Unlike his mother, who always seemed to be switched on and ready to take on the world at the drop of a pin, Jungkook knew how to relax and dare you say it, crack a joke every now and again.

His mother’s behaviour was understandable though, seeing as how her father was also just as intense. In the entire time that you had known Jungkook, you had only met his mother’s side of the family twice. Both times had been at Jungkook’s birthday parties. You had met his other grandfather once and the encounter still left an impression on you to this day. You had been ten and you and Jungkook and a couple of the other kids had been entertaining yourself in a game of treasure hunt, courtesy of Jungkook’s father who had hid prizes around the house, wrapped in brown paper and tied securely with a piece of string. You and Jungkook had decided to partner up, knowing that you had a better chance if you worked together, that and because Jungkook was a better finder than you were. Even then you had known that the best chance of succeeding was with Jungkook. The two of you had gone upstairs and was in the process of searching the study when his grandfather had walked in. At Jungkook’s insistence, you had both hid behind the couch and waited for the right time to jump out and scare him. 

His grandfather had been on the phone and he had been angry. You don’t remember the conversation or what he had been saying but you do remember how scared you had been at his temper. He had shouted words that you had heard in movies, which your mother had forbade you from ever saying and some words that you had never even heard before and you hadn’t known what they meant at the time but from the way he had said it, you knew they were bad words. In a case of bad luck, your nose had begun to itch from the particles behind the couch and before you had been able to stop it, you had let out a big sneeze.

“Who’s there?” his grandfather had demanded. “Come out at once”. His tone of voice had been firm and full of authority and you had both crawled out from behind the couch with your heads down.

Taking in the both of you, his grandfather returned to his call and made a promise to call them back before turning his attention back to the two of you “Jungkook? What were you two doing there?”

At the intensity of his gaze, you involuntarily moved so that half of your body was hidden behind Jungkook who replied to his grandfather’s question in a shaky voice. “I’m sorry grandfather. We were looking for presents and thought it would be fun to scare you”.

“Well run along then. There aren’t any presents in here”. He signalled to the door and not needing to be told twice, you and Jungkook rush to leave. As you reached the door, for some inexplicable reason you had the urge to look back.

With his fierce and piercing brown eyes that were so dark they almost looked black, Jungkook’s grandfather had said something that you could never forget. “Remember what curiosity did to the cat young lady…” 

--

It was the strangest thing to say to a ten-year-old. Sitting beside Jungkook at the dinner table, you glance over to him and wonder if he remembers that encounter. Probably not you think to yourself. It wasn’t anything memorable. You figure that growing up with an intense father like that would definitely have an affect on one’s personality.

“So…I hear you’re now working at Jungkook’s company thanks to my father in law here. How lucky it is to have connections”. His mother’s comment catches you off guard and you pause mid-chew. Here we go. You brace yourself for the bombard of questions. You swallow your mouthful of food and prepare a response but before you can say anything, Jungkook’s grandfather jumps in to your defence.

“I only got her the interview, she did all the rest herself” He smiles proudly at you and your heart almost bursts at his words and the pride in his voice. You return his smile, grateful for his comment.

Jungkook’s mother looks on curiously between your exchange before extending a perfectly manicured hand and reaching for her glass of wine. You watch in mild fascination as she swirls the deep red liquor in her glass before taking a small sip. It hadn’t occurred to you that people actually did that in real life. You had thought it was only in movies.

“So how is work? Is it good? Do you find it challenging?”

“It’s good. I’m enjoying it” You reply honestly, conscious of Jungkook in the corner of your eye. You hadn’t really spoken to Jungkook about your job before. “It was a bit challenging at first but now I’ve gotten the hang of things, so there’s no trouble”.

His mother makes a noncommittal sound.

“That’s always good isn’t it” Jungkook’s father chimes in gleefully. “Stress at work is bad” You’re about to nod your head in agreement when Jungkook’s mother speaks up again.

“That is true darling, but I feel that if the job isn’t challenging you each day then you’re just wasting your time. You should be constantly trying to better yourself and further educate yourself. Don’t you agree?” She fixes you with a smile and you hesitate slightly, before responding.

“I agree, but I feel like change and improvement shouldn’t be forced. I think it’s okay to take it easy sometimes and relax”.

“Spoken like a true idealist”

“Mother. Enough” Jungkook interjects firmly, as you look down at your food, hiding your hurt response to her comment. Once again she had hit the needle on the head. You know that you weren’t a career driving person. Sure you wanted to succeed and grow, but you knew that you would never do anything spectacular, like become a CEO of a company, or win a Nobel prize or create a cure for some kind of disease but you were alright with that fact. You were happy with cruising through life and taking it day by day, living it up to the fullest and you had accepted that fact about yourself. However Jungkook’s mother made it seem as though your belief was foolish. You bite your tongue and refuse to let her get to you.

Jungkook cannot believe his mother. For the most of dinner she hadn’t said a single word to you and now she was making childish and snide comments. He knew the reason behind her standoffish and almost cold behaviour towards you and it only added to his annoyance towards his mother.

“You’re right, sweetie” His mother smiles innocently before taking another sip of her wine. Jungkook glances notably down at her plate, which had been left almost untouched and then back to the glass in her hand. This was her second glass.

Jungkook knew he should have stayed away when his father had called to tell him his mother was home, two days earlier than expected and would be joining them for dinner.

“So, Jungkook. Tell me, how is Areum? I haven’t seen her around much. Are you two still seeing each other?”

You almost choke on your rice and barely manage to stop yourself from coughing. Reaching for your glass of water you quickly take a sip, feeling the rice scrape against the inside of your throat on the way down. What did his mother just say? Jungkook and Areum? Dating? You struggle to keep your face expressionless as you continue to make a show of eating your food. Although, you’re probably not the only one who has felt the tension in the air suddenly thicken. It’s so intense that it’s almost palpable. Jungkook’s father has noticed it too, along with his wife’s moody behaviour because he swiftly interrupts and tries to take control of the situation. 

“Now, honey. Let’s not talk about such things at dinner. Why don’t you try some soup? It’s your favourite ox-tail”.

His mother waves off her husband with her hand. “Thank you darling but I want to know how our son is doing with his fiancee”.

Your hand freezes mid-reach for your glass of water and everything turns silent. His mother’s voice repeats in your ear and there’s a ringing. Fiancee? Did she just call Areum Jungkook’s fiancee? No one says anything for a while and you can feel all their eyes on you, except for Jungkook, who is shooting daggers at his mother. Your palms begin to sweat and you close your hands into fists, pulling them underneath the table and resting them onto your lap. Your heart begins to speed up and you try to take calming breaths.

“Why don’t we talk about something else, I’m sure every one would like to discuss something else” Jungkook’s father tries again to dissuade his wife. He says something else but you don’t hear it. Your head has started to hurt again and the only thing you can hear is the loud pounding of your heartbeat in your ear. You close your eyes as the pressure builds in your temples and the pain returns. 

Not bearing the pain, you rise up from your seat and push your chair back. “I’m sorry” You announce, catching everyone’s attention. “I’m suddenly not feeling very well. I think it’s best if I go home and rest”. You collect your jacket from the back of your chair before briefly turning to Jungkook’s parents and grandpa Jeon “Thank you so much for dinner. I’m sorry I can’t stay and help clean up”.

As you begin to leave, Jungkook stands up from his chair, a worried expression crosses his face. “I’ll take you home” He offers but you turn him down.

“No!” you reply rather forcibly. “No, no stay please. I’ll be fine, I’ll call an Uber”.

Jungkook looks unsure, as does his father. “Are you sure? If you’re not feeling well Jungkook can drive you home”

That’s the last thing you wanted right now. “No, really. It’s fine” You insist and give Jungkook a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine. I’ll message you when I get home”.

You can’t make it to the door fast enough and you nearly fall over trying to put your flats on. You don’t know why you feel so panicked but the moment you get outside and breathe in the fresh air, you feel better. You felt as though you were suffocating in there and the fresh air was a reprieve. As you make your way down the drive way, you reach for your phone but not before Jungkook calls out your name. You stop and turn around, seeing Jungkook jog towards you. He didn’t have his coat on despite the cool temperature and he still had on his slippers, suggesting that he had come after you in a rush. Why? You don’t know.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here? I said I was fine”.

He stops once he reaches you, breathing heavily. “I know. I just wanted to make sure”. When you had got up from the table and left, abruptly, it had worried Jungkook and he wanted to see for himself that you were alright and to explain what had just happened.

You can see the goosebumps on his forearms, where he had rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, so you urge him to go back inside. “Thank you but like I said before, I’m fine. I’ve just got a headache. I didn’t mean to worry you now please will you go back inside? It’s cold out here” You place your hands on his arm and give him a slight nudge. At the moment your emotions were a mess and you needed to be away from him. You don’t know why you had gotten so jealous at the mention of Areum as his fiancee.

Jungkook resists your push and looks you in the eye earnestly, determined to get through to you “She’s not my fiancee” he says, stopping you.

Does he mean Areum? You close your eyes and fight the throbbing in your head. Why won’t he just leave?

“It’s fine honestly, I don’t care” You reply haphazardly. You’re not sure who you’re trying to convince more, Jungkook or yourself. 

“I wasn’t lying when I told you Areum and I aren’t engaged. It’s the truth. We’re not”. Jungkook doesn’t know why he’s still there, freezing his nipples off. He just knows that he has to explain to you so you understand what was going on. 

“Then why did your mother say that?” You give in and stop trying to force him away.

Jungkook shakes his head at the mention of his mother. He was going to have a word with her next. “She’s wrong, okay. Look she wants me to marry Areum, I don’t. Plain as that. You have to believe me”. 

You’re not sure if it’s he sincerity in his voice or the way he’s looking at you but you believe him. You find yourself nodding your head and replying. “I believe you”. It feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders and you find yourself being able to breathe again. “I believe you, Jungkook. Now go back inside before you get sick!” You place both of you palms onto his back and give him a shove in the direction of his house. Thankfully this time, he doesn’t resist. 

“You sure you don’t want me to drive you?” He asks, glancing at you over his shoulder. You smile and shake your head.

“For the hundredth time dad, I’ll be fine”.

Jungkooks narrows his eyes at you calling him your dad but he decides to let it slide this once. “Message me when you get back okay?”

“Yes, dad” you roll your eyes and let out a laugh as Jungkook tries to playfully shove your head. “Go, I’ll see you tomorrow”. You say as you move your head out of the way with a wide grin on your face.

--

After waiting for the Uber to arrive and making sure that you got in okay, Jungkook finally returns to the house. By now his fingers are numb and his rage had somewhat settled. The door slams shut behind him and he finds his parents in the kitchen, just where he thought they would be. His father was loading the plates into the dishwasher and his mother was keeping him company, sitting perfectly relaxed on a stool by the counter top, with not a care in the world. 

When he enters the room, his father looks up from what he’s doing. “Did she get home alright?” he asks. 

“Yeah, she just got into an Uber now” Jungkook replies before turning his attention to his mother.  “What the fuck was that?” he demands in an accusatory tone. 

“Jungkook!” His father gasps in a scandalised voice but Jungkook ignores him. His focus is solely on his mother, whose calm demeanour doesn’t waver, despite his foul language.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” She replies, feigning ignorance which pisses Jungkook off even more.

“I’ve told you time and time again. I’m not going to marry Areum. End of discussion”. he grits his teeth. “How many times must I tell you and grandfather?”

His mother merely sighs in exasperation “Now, Jungkook, not this again. I thought we got over this?”

Jungkook hated it when his mother treated him as though he were a child and not an adult, capable of making his own decisions “I don’t care what kind of agreement you or grandfather have made with Areum’s father, I’m playing no part in it. I won’t be a pawn in your games”.

“Need I remind you that I am your mother” his mother’s voice cracks and her composure begins to slip “You can’t speak to me like this”  

Jungkook scoffs in disbelief, finding the words ironic, coming from her. The woman who was barely home whilst he was growing up. A bitter taste settles in his mouth. “Funny you say that seeing as how you’ve never been my mother, only when it suited you”

The last thing he hears before he leaves is his mother’s voice calling after him.

To Be Continued.

[b-random]

Survey

Taken from @fiaspice​

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Cereal.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No. Not much of a fan of cold weather.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually the receipt.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Cold, with ice, without the coffee.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes.  Getting self conscious about a lot actually.

6: do you keep plants? Just planted some tonight in fact.

7: do you name your plants? no, but I might.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Not much anymore.  But I really want to try acrylic paint pouring.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes.  Or to my cats. Or steering wheel.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? sides

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? If I catch my employee at work not using her safety gloves, I ask her where her hand is and she responds by singing “IT ISN’T IN MY GLOOOOOOVE” (to the tune of Shawn Mendes’ “In My Blood”)  That’s the only one I can think of that doesn’t require ridiculous amounts of explanation.

12: what’s your favorite planet? Earth.  Couldn’t live without it. 

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Christy and Fraser on 101.5 Today Radio had a contest called “Chereoke” to win Cher tickets and some of the contestants’ attempts at singing Cher was hilarious.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Hopefully it would be a rustic/industrial combo style loft with at least one exposed brick wall, exposed duct work, metal and wood finishes.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!: Halley’s comet won’t orbit past Earth again until 2061... I’ll probably be dead.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Tortellini with a creamy rosé sauce.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’m bald so this question is just cruel.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. After a friend of mine told me he had unprotected sex with his ex girlfriend on a booty call, I arranged for a bouquet of fruit to be delivered to his work on father’s day with a sonogram attached to it.  He’s a darker skinned guy but his face went white as snow.  It doesn’t sound like much, but his mom heard about the prank at her work several blocks away.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I don’t.  This blog is the closest thing I have to that.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t have a favourite bag.

22: are you a morning person? I would say so.  I’m not so much of a night owl anymore.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? I literally sit on my couch all day and do nothing but watch netflix and dick around on my phone.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Don’t think so. 

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Can’t say I’ve ever broken into anywhere.  At least, not anywhere memorable.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I don’t have an exciting answer for this, but I have a pair of Puma shoes that have been around for 4-5 years.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunrise.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? One of my friends makes it a point to build her other female friends up at any and all costs.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? The only thing I can think of is when I was probably 5 years old I was at a water park and I was supposed to go down the water slide but I was so scared that I couldn’t do it.  My family went down before me so I was stuck at the top screaming and crying.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? I mostly wear white socks because I wear pretty heavy duty shoes at work and so anything else gets ruined.  But if I’m going out or doing something, I usually like a bit of colour.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends? I'm told that one time at about 4:00 in the morning I went to my neighbours house and was knocking on their garage door for about half an hour singing songs, but I don’t remember that.

33: what’s your fave pastry? Creme puffs.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had a Popple. (Remember Popples?! The Popples still make me smile.) Well, I had several, but my favourite was PC - specifically Sports PC.  I don’t still have him anymore and I’m pretty sad about that.  But his tail did fall off at one point and oddly enough, I still have his tail!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I usually end up buying stationery items that I never use.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? My mood has been 100% Carly Rae Jepsen since Dedicated came out last Friday.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? My room is often messy, but that doesn’t mean I like it that way.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!? People who use incorrect phrases like “Once and a while” or when people say “should of” instead of “should’ve”

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have no jewellery.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Hunger Games.  I haven’t really enjoyed too many books since then.  I’ve been trying to read the Harry Potter series but I’m only moderately enjoying them.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? I do not.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Frick it’s been so long since I’ve done that.  Probably a guy who I hooked up with several years ago.  I don’t even remember his name.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? The last time I went to the mountains.  It’s been close to a year.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Sometimes to a fault.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.?  Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Seafood.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Heights. I’m still afraid of them, but now I’d say I’m more scared of things like the ocean and space.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I really do.  Especially the ones I really like.  Most recent was Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Dedicated” album.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?  I don’t collect much anymore.  I used to collect Coca-Cola memorabilia, though.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? "Your Type” by Carly Rae Jepsen.  I swear I listen to other artists and bands besides CRJ, but she seems to be fitting a lot of the questions here.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Those comics on Instagram with the aliens explaining everyday human activities.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Beetlejuice is the only one of those that I’ve seen in full.  Haven’t seen it in probably 20 years so it’s time I give it another go.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My mom after my sister did some stupid things last week and was super cruel to her after.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I can’t remember

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Selflessness, genuine dorkiness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I didn’t reenact the lyrics, but I did sing and reenact the scene from Wayne’s World.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Neither of them.

59: what’s your favorite myth? I still find the whole Bermuda Triangle thing to be interesting.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t know any poetry.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Oh god, I’m a terrible gift giver so I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to just one.  Stupidest gift I’ve ever received was a Starbucks gift set.  I don’t drink coffee.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Well, I usually put fruit juice into my smoothies, so I guess yeah.  And whatever is available.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have to keep them alphabetical except for my collections which are sorted by size of the collection.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Grey. Like it has been for the past week.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Yes.  I’ll call him K.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ideal flower crown is not a concept that is even remotely familiar to me.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? depressed.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Fucking long and unbearable. 

69: what are your favorite board games? Scategories, The Game of Life, etc.

70: have you ever used an ouija board? yeah

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Iced.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I could probably benefit from jotting more things down than I do.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Laziness.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Sassy and spunky, but equally kind and compassionate.

75: tell us about your pets! My babies are not babies anymore.  They’re feline brother and sister and I’ve had them for more than 15 years.  He’s black and my bestest little buddy.  She cost me an invitation to my sister’s wedding and I have NO REGRETS about it at all.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? The dishes from dinner.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink I guess?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I find them entertaining, but I wouldn’t put myself in either club.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Can’t think of anything right now.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? C2 Coconut. Essentially they’re a soft white. I did not choose that colour.  It was the builder’s choice and I just haven’t gotten around to painting it yet. Soon one wall is going to be a metallic denim-like blue. 

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Crystal ball reflecting tropical waters.

82: are/were you good in school? ish.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Michael Jackson’s Dangerous, Social Code’s Rock N Roll or Spice Girls Spice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have a concept in mind that combines Spice Girls, Power Rangers and LGBT pride.  It’s just a matter of designing and getting it done.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?  Don’t read comics.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? The only concept album I can think of is Green Day’s American Idiot.  That one wore thin on me quickly.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Kingsman: Secret Service, Jurassic Park, Twister, and it’s not a movie but I’m going to say The Haunting of Hill House.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Acrylic Paint Pouring

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ehh... Haven’t really explored many places recently and I’m feeling less enthusiastic about Calgary these days.  I’ll pass on this one.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’ll be in Massachusetts this time next week.  Boston and Provincetown.  I’m excited as I’ve never been there.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Out of those two options, drowns in cheese.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend Ashley’s birthday was on Saturday.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Packing and working.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Only once it is forced upon me.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTP-T, Libra, Puffnstuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Last May.  Need to change that very, very soon.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I couldn’t even begin to name those songs right now. 

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? I’d probably go back 5 years.  Whether I’m happy with my life or not, I don’t want to miss any of it.

[purplesurveys]

592

Let's start off with some basics. Cool, I haven’t started off a survey with basics in a while. What's your name? Robyn, but y’all who have stuck around for a while know that already. How old are you? 21. What's your hair and eye color? Hair’s black, eye color’s dark brown/black-ish. How tall are you? I’m pretty certain I’m 5′1. What's your relationship status? In one. Alright, enough of that. Let's move on to the random shit.

What's your favorite song? Uhhh at the moment it’s Sam Smith’s cover of Donna Summer’s I Feel Love. They did their own twist to it and it sounds incredible. It would probably take a bit to get used to in 2019, but once you warm up to the sound, the cover is just brilliant. What does that song mean? What is the message behind it? It’s a disco song, the lyrics just repeat for three straight minutes and is not supposed to be any deeper than ‘I feel love.’ Is it your favorite because you relate to it, or do you just like the beat? I love the beat, the sound, and what Sam offered to the song. Have any pets? If so, what are they and what's their names? Yes, I have a cute Santa Claus-outfit-wearing dog at the moment :)) His name is Kimi. Have you ever met your idol? I have never met Kristen Stewart, AJ Lee, Hayley Williams, nor Beyoncé. And I’d most likely pass even if there was a chance to meet any of them; I’m too afraid that I’d mess up in front of them. If so, were they nice or were they kind of an ass? What's your favorite method of gaming? (PC, Xbox, Playstation, etc) I don’t play a lot myself but I do enjoy watching games on Nintendo or Playstation consoles. If you're in college, what's your major and why did you pick it? I’m in journalism. I picked it because I thought it’s what I wanted to pursue back in high school. I was good at writing and loved telling stories, the obvious path was towards journ so I don’t hate myself or regret picking such a major. But through the years I’ve learned to hate it more and more though – my interests lie within public relations and advertising now, a complete 180 from the world of journalism. How're you doing today? A little too early to be asking that, it’s 7:43 in the morning. I do feel quite nice because classes ended up being suspended today due to the incoming typhoon, but otherwise it’s just mostly meh for now. What color are your bedroom walls? They’re white. Describe your favorite shirt. Right now my favorite shirt is a halter tank top I got for ₱50 at a small tiangge booth in Feliz, hahaha. I just wish I could wear it everyday without anyone judging because I look cute in it. Use this space to tell someone off. I don’t think anyone I know deserves that at the moment. What's your view on smart watches? Cool or a waste of money? Waste of money, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting one lmao. What is one poster that you have hanging on your bedroom wall of? I still have that damn poster of Nam Joo Hyuk up near my bed lol. I haven’t seen a k-drama since 2017, but I’m just too lazy to take it down. How many times have you moved in your life? That I can remember? Two. I think we moved a couple times more when I was an infant. If you moved, do you like where you are now better than where you were? It’s definitely more peaceful, quiet, and much much cleaner in our house; but there are days where I still miss having my cousins and grandma under the same roof. What's your favorite color and why? Pastel pink. It’s pleasant to the eyes and looks good on most stuff. My wallet,  purse, main school notebook, one of my highlighters, my phone case, clipboard, backpack, and shoulder bag are all that color hahahaha Do you have a calendar? If so, what's the theme? I have one on my phone; I don’t really need a physical one. No theme because I don’t think my phone allows me to customize my calendar anyway. Have any famous person's autographs? I have AJ’s from a signed poster that I bought like 5-6 years ago from WWEShop. Was never actually sure if she actually signed it but it’s always easier to believe that. Do you draw well? That’s the worst thing I can do, or try to do at that. What type of cell phone do you have? I have an iPhone 8. Should you be doing anything else right now or are you just bored? I am actually supposed to be working on final requirements, but they’re all for my newspaper layout class and I cannot be ASSED to open Adobe InDesign and work on some dumb layout stuff right now. If you're in school/college, what's your favorite subject and why? This semester my favorite class is Kasaysayan 117, or Social History of the Philippines (‘Kasaysayan’ means history in Filipino). Social history veers away from the typical elite/heroes/war/colonization/what have you narratives that history books typically go with, and focuses instead on the developments of, say, gender, education, illnesses, and religion in the country. It basically focuses on the everyday life of the ordinary citizen, which I find more interesting and relatable than war stories. I certainly wish I can take this class more than once. Are you a cat or a dog person? Why? Dog person. They’re friendly and sweet and silly and will always stay by your side, which I love. I have never been able to connect with cats and finally at one point, trying just tired me out completely lmao HISS at me then, sis Tell me about the plot of your favorite book. Not my favorite, but definitely a memorable one – Scarlett O’Hara is in love with some dude named Leslie who’s married to his first cousin. Scarlett ends up gunning after him for a good chunk of time, even as she marries Rich Guy Rhett Butler and has a kid with him. Eventually [spoiler] kid dies and Rhett realizes Scarlett never cared for her just as Scarlett realizes she loves Rhett. Not a good ending for Scarlett. Bunch of people die. Oh and all of this takes place during the Civil War. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses. I flinch at the idea of putting anything anywhere near my eye, so contacts are a no-no for me. What do you think about horror movies? It’s a hit or miss most of the time. Great genre with some even greater hits, though. If you love them (I do), what's your favorite? Misery or The Shining. Cliché picks, but I personally enjoyed both so why not. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I dunno about ‘cool’ but I got Gabie a Hydro Flask water bottle and I’m SO excited for her to get it because she’s always been envious of mine and she’s always talking about wanting one because water tastes so crisp and fresh from those bottles. It’s kind of a bittersweet story for me though – I lost my own Hydro Flask a day after I got hers. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Do you do Black Friday shopping or wait for Cyber Monday? I do neither of those things because I’m from the Philippines and we have no idea what those holidays(?) mean. Have any mental illnesses? I’m sure I do, I just have never gotten myself checked. What's your favorite word and why? I’m not really obsessed with any right now. What is the most expensive thing you own, and what is it? It’s either my laptop or my phone...I’m not sure how much they were; my parents paid for both. Although I’m guessing the phone cost more because it was the newest in the iPhone line at the time of their purchase. Did you buy that item yourself? Hahahaha, nope. Super grateful to my parents for getting it for me despite knowing I have the tendency to crack and break all the phones I own. This current one is staying strong, though! Where do you work and what is your postion? I don’t have a job yet but I’m part of two organizations in college, if that counts. I’m the vice president for external affairs in my journalism org and associate editor in our graduating batch’s yearbook club. How often do you cuss? Probably once every few hours? Definitely way less than when I was an angsty, feisty, annoying little teenager lmao. What type of car do you drive, if any? I have a Mitsubishi Mirage hatchback. Are you happy with it? If no, what's your dream car? I’m happy with it; it’s small, convenient, and easy to drive. My dream car is something just as small but a little more fancy, so I’m wishing for a Mini haha. Do you have a lot of social media accounts? Which ones? Nah I just have three main ones – Twitter, Facebook, and this Tumblr. I’ve made accounts on other apps like Snapchat and Instagram, but I stopped using the former and I never use the latter. What is your favorite genre of music? I don’t have one. Does your family have holiday traditions? If so, what are they? It’s not a unique tradition but we go to my grand-aunt’s house and we do Monito-Monita, which is essentially a Filipino Secret Santa. We fix ourselves in a circle and when you’re It, you have to dance/walk/prance around with your gift while everyone sings the monito-monita song (which I’m too lazy to expound on, lol). When the song ends, you have to hand your ‘baby’ their gift. If you're in a relationship, are you happy with it? Yes. How long have you been with your significant other? Three years, but that’ll change to four by February. Do you like psychology? (It's my college major). I love it. It’s one of my the-one-that-got-away courses, along with history. I wanted to have a glimpse of psych by taking a psychology elective once, but I got a bad prof and never got in the mood to take another elective again, so that’s a shame. What is something your state is popularly known for? We don’t have states, we just have provinces and cities. Antipolo is known for their delicacies such as kasoy, suman, and latik. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what's the coolest thing you made? Kind of? I don’t like anything I have to sculpt or mold myself; but lately I’ve been into paint-by-number kits and I asked Gab to get me a couple of them as a Christmas gift. It’ll help with my seasonal depression, so I’m excited to be preoccupied during the holiday break. Do you watch sports or do you think they're overrated? I don’t think they’re overrated. I just don’t find most of them interesting to watch. What's one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn't deserve to? TROLLS Do you straighten your hair? No. Ever dyed your hair a color that isn't natural? (blue, pink, etc) I haven’t dyed it at all. How's your relationship with your parents? We have a best friends-type of relationship in that we banter and not opposed to insulting each other and cursing in front of one another, but I don’t let them know me any deeper than surface-level. The angst and trauma I developed due to my mom being horrid to me when I was younger permanently kept me from ever desiring a soft, emotional, intimate bond with her. And as for my dad, well he’s worked overseas all my life and I only get to see him once or twice a year, so it’s easy to understand why I have not developed a super super SUPER close bond with him as well. Do you still live with them or do you have your own house? I live with them but I’d love to have my own place soon. What's something you are currently saving money for to buy? More Christmas gifts for loved ones. I’ve only bought gifts for my girlfriend so far. Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? I vape, but don’t smoke. Gab gave me her vape pen which is from a brand named Smok, because she soon learned after vaping a few times that she’s asthmatic. :( I do get disposable vape pens from Vedfun which I honestly prefer more, though. Ever done drugs? Other than painkillers, no. Tell me one of your worst habits. Letting myself go hungry because I’m a little obsessed with the thought of saving money. What's a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I have to lock my car doors three times in a row before I feel entirely secure. If you game, what type of headset do you use? What type of computer do you own, and do you like it? I have a Macbook Air, and I love it. What's the thing that annoys you the most? Metro Manila traffic. What brand of TV do you have? All of our TVs are Samsung, I think. Are you excited for Christmas? (It's December 1st today when I made this) I can take it or leave it. Tell me about your favorite vacation you've taken. Sagada x Baguio last 2014. I was hurting a lot that time because of recent shitty events that all happened to me, but the climate, the nature, and the peace and quiet allowed me to recharge and let everything out. It helped that there was a movie that had just come out then called That Thing Called Tadhana (Fate) wherein the lead girl was going through the same stuff I did, then she took a bus trip to Sagada, stood on top of a cliff, and yelled and cried her heart out. I set out to do the same (I didn’t scream though, just cry haha) and it was a good release. I’ll never forget that trip because I had never been more in touch with myself and allowed myself to be that raw until that week.

Tell me something cool about yourself. [continued all the way from 7 AM because I just got lazy for the rest of the morning. It’s now 4:41 PM.] Anyone outside of pro wrestling will probably not find this cool but I’ve been acknowledged by all three of my all-time favorite female figures in the industry (retweeted by AJ Lee, followed by Natalya, greeted happy birthday by Stephanie McMahon). All three are memories I’ll cherish forever. Did/do you get good grades in school/college? Not so much in grade school, because I was admittedly irresponsible and my elders didn’t pay much attention to my study habits, either. I got better in high school, but I still made sure not to tire myself out because I knew the grades I’d get then literally wouldn’t matter in college. Now that I’m in college and for once the grades DO matter, I’m working 15 times as hard and getting good grades throughout. What's your ringtone on your phone? They’re all ringtones provided by Apple. What's your favorite store to shop in? For clothes, independent stores would do. They can sell a tank top for ₱50 (1 USD) that I would otherwise find in H&M for like, ₱299 (6 USD) lmao. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would buy and why? I’d pay off my parents’ various purchases like our house and cars so that the guilt doesn’t eat me up when I treat myself. How long have you had a Bzoink account? I don’t have a Bzoink account, but I’ve been using it to find surveys since 2008. My survey habit started veeeeery early, y’all.

Ever been to Field of Screams? If so, what's your favorite attraction? I have not. I’m not even sure I know what that is. Do you own a Polaroid camera? I don’t. Do you have hardwood floor in your room or carpet? Hardwood. It's a Saturday night, what are you typically doing? Taking surveys or catching up with work. Do you have a lot of friends or do you not have any at all? I have a lot, fortunately. College taught me to open up my circle. What's your all time favorite movie and why? Two for the Road. It just clicks with me. Audrey and Albert very both very passionate in their roles and their tandem worked amazingly to bring the story to life.

How many blankets do you sleep with at night? Just one. What's the last TV show you watched? Did you enjoy it? Queer Eye; I made Gab watch the Jones Bar-B-Q episode which is usually cited as one of the best of the series. I loved watching it the second time. Do you prefer cable TV or do you use Netflix? I use Netflix; I haven’t tuned in to cable TV for a good 4-5 years maybe. What is your dream job and why? Working somewhere in WWE. That company’s been a part of my life for...welp, my whole life. A part of me just feels as though I HAVE to end up there. Do you think you would be a good therapist? I know I’m a good listener and that I can read body language and signals quite well, but I don’t think I’d want people to dump their burdens and rants on me. What's your favorite brand of clothing? H&M. Did you like this survey? Sure!

[snarkiara]

Moon Chosen by PC Cast: About the Book + Chapter 1

First Thing’s First: Why did I buy this book?

I really like PC Cast’s earlier work, The Goddess Summoning Series and Tales of Parthelon, they’re well written, witty, and fun. They’re also Romance Novels. (The one’s I have most issue with are the second in Parthelon (Divine by Choice) and the last in Goddess Summoning (Goddess of Legend)) I started disliking her work when she and her daughter wrote The House of Night Series which is . . . disgusting.

Here’s a short list of wrongs from Fandom Hates People of Color

The MC killed two black men for no reason

Another link

Something people always applaud it for is that it doesn’t slut-shame because the main character has a whole bunch of partners and that is just . . . wrong. It does slut-shame other characters via the MC’s misogyny. Also the main character having multiple partners isn’t a good thing because she’s CHEATING on all of them.

Case in point: her ex almost died and ended up in the hospital so she lost her virginity to her teacher (this is statutory rape btw, he was also manipulating her but somehow she still agreed to it while thinking the man she loved was dying???) who she’d been cheating on said ex with and then later when she gets back together with her ex and he’s paranoid the narrative treats it like he’s being paranoid and jealous for no reason despite the fact she cheated on him with three different guys

just. yikes.

So when that series ended and I saw PC Cast was going to do a book alone I wondered “Is everything bad in House of Night from her daughter? How much is from her?” I was also curious because Moon Chosen would be PC Cast’s first solo YA novel. 

Let me tell you right here and now that’s it was not all her daughter.

Moon Chosen is a YA novel published by St. Martin's Griffin in 2016 and it has one sequel entitled Sun Warrior (2017).

The Cover:

It’s not bad. One of the reasons I got it was because of the cover. I especially like the sun-like o (I think it’s supposed to be moon-like but . . .)

Goodreads Summary:

Chosen to embrace her true identity. Chosen to follow her destiny. Chosen to change her world.

Mari is an Earth Walker, heir to the unique healing powers of her Clan, but she has been forced to turn from her duties, until she is chosen by a special animal ally, altering her destiny forever. When a deadly attack tears her world apart, Mari reveals the strength of her powers and the forbidden secret of her dual nature as she embarks on a mission to save herself and her people. It is not until Nik, the son of the leader from a rival, dominating Tribe, strays across her path that Mari experiences something she has never felt before…

Now evil is coming, and with it, a force more terrible and destructive than the world has ever seen, leaving Mari to cast the shadows from the earth. By breaking Clan Law and forming an alliance with Nik, she must make herself ready. Ready to save her people. Ready to save herself and Nik. Ready to embrace her true destiny…and battle the forces that threaten to destroy them all.

Now, there’s a lot to unpack here. PC Cast always uses mythology in her books, focusing on European mythologies such as Greek, Celtic, and Roman. Since the MC in House of Night’s Native American heritage was NOT handled well I was already worried when I realized this story almost definitely took place in a fantasy North America (Hint: The series title is Tales of a New World).

I also want everyone to know that the top two reviews on Goodreads were both 1 stars. XD Here and here.

Now, reminder that when I first got this book like 2 years ago I couldn’t even get past PAGE 2

Without Further Ado: Chapter 1

There’s a lot to unpack here so I’m literally going to transcribe the entire first 2 pages to ya’ll because it is physically painful to read and I want all of you to share my pain.

The contagious sound of women’s laughter filled the warm, tidy burrow.

“Oh, Mari! That is not an illustration from the myth I just told you.”

Mari’s mother held the sheet of handmade paper in one hand and pressed the other hand against her mouth, unsuccessfully trying to hold back another bout of laughter.

“Mama, your job is to tell the stories. My job is to sketch them. That’s our game, right? Our favorite game.”

“Well, yes,” Leda said, still trying to fix her expression to a more sober one. “I do tell the stories, but you tend to sketch what you think you hear.”

“I don’t see the problem with that.” Mari moved to stand beside her mother and studied the newly finished sketch with her. “This is exactly what I saw as you were telling the story of Narcissus and Echo.”

If they’re in North America . . . why are they talking about Greek gods? This tells me that at least Mari’s mother Leda isn’t Native American. (As also evidenced from their names.)

“Mari, you made Narcissus look like a young man turning into a flower. Awkwardly.  He has one hand that is a leaf and the other that is still a hand. The same with his--” Leda stifled a giggle. “Well, with several other parts of his anatomy. And he has a mustache and a silly look on his face--though I do admit it is an amazing talent you have that can bring a silly-looking half flower, half man, to life.” Leda pointed to the sketch and the ghostly nymph who Mari had somehow made to look bored and annoyed as she watched the transformation of Narcissus. “You made Echo look--” Leda hesitated, obviously searching for the right words.

“Fed up with Narcissus and his ego?” Mari offered.

Leda gave up all pretense of admonishment and laughed out loud. “Yes, that is exactly how you made Echo look, though that is not the story I told.”

“Well, Leda.” Mari used her mother’s given name as she waggled her brows at her. “I was listening to your story and as I was drawing I decided that something was definitely left out of the ending.”

Even I know this is too much telling instead of showing.

“The ending? Really?” Leda bumped her daughter with her shoulder. “And stop calling me Leda.”

“But, Leda, that’s your name.”

“To the rest of the world. To you my name is Mother.”

“Mother? Really? It’s so--”

“Respectful and traditional?” This time Leda offered to finish her daughter’s thought.

“More like boring and old,” Mari said, eyes shining as she waited for her mother’s predictable response.

“Boring and old? Did you just call me boring and old?”

“What? Me? Call you boring and old? Never, Mama, never!” Mari giggled and held her hand up in surrender.

This is not how mothers and daughters talk to each other? Gods I miss when PC wrote Romance novels. She is obviously not in her element in YA novels and doesn’t understand that - considering I started reading her work back in middle school and never had any trouble understanding it - she doesn’t need to change her writing style to apply to teenagers. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening because it reads more like House of Night than anything else I’ve read of hers so I don’t think it’s devolving I think it’s a deliberate choice.

“All fixed,” She said, holding up the sketch for Leda to inspect.

“Mari, his eyes are crossed,” Leda said.

“The rest of the story made me think he wasn’t too smart. So I made him look not very smart.”

I’ve not even gone half a page and already there’s this ableist crap and Mari shaming her mother for having been a teen mother.

Okay so Mari just named 4 Clans: Clan Weaver, Clan Fisher, Clan Miller, and Clan Wood. How many clans are there and do they all have specializations which give them their names?

[Mari] “Blueberries! Really, Mama? That would be wonderful. I love the color of ink I make with them. It’s a nice change from the black stain I get from walnuts.”

What?

[Leda] “I do, and I’m looking forward to dyeing a new cloak for you this spring, but I admit freely that I would rather eat a blueberry pie!”

WHAT?

So Mari brings up that Leda’s name is from a story and then mentions that her grandmother Cassandra did not name things sensibly. Then . . .

“You know very well that Moon Women always name their daughters whatever is whispered to them on the wind by the Great Earth Mother. My mother, Cassandra, was named by her mother, Penelope. I heard your lovely name whispered by our Earth Mother the full moon night before you were born.”

“My name is boring.” Mari sighed. “Does that mean the Earth Mother thinks I’m boring?”

“No, that means the Earth Mother thinks we should make up a story to go with your name--a story all your own.”

This reads like Mari’s 10 years old. She’s 16-17. So their clan is the Moon Clan and so far they’ve only mentioned Moon Women, no Moon Men and Mari’s father is not from the Moon Clan.

Woah okay here we go.

“Mari, sweet girl, I cannot tell another story tonight, though I wish I could, sunset is not far off, and tonight the moon will be full and brilliant. The needs of the Clan will be great.”

Mari opened her mouth to plead with Leda to stay just for a few moments more, to put her needs before those of the Clan, but before she could speak her small, selfish desire her mother’s body twitched spasmodically, shoulders trembling, head jerking painfully and uncontrollably. Though she had already turned from her daughter, as always trying to shield her from the change night brought with it. Mari knew all too well what was happening.

. . . She took her mother’s hand, holding it in both of hers, hating how cold it had become--hating the pale silver-gray tinge that was beginning to spread across her skin. And wishing, always wishing, that she could soothe the pain that visited her mother with the setting of the sun every night of her life.

Or . . . not? I’m . . . very confused because Mari’s sad she took up her mother’s time till after sunset which causes her mother pain but then . . . continues taking up her time??? Like after her mother goes through this pain they start . . . exchanging gifts? Her mother made her a flower crown that’s called a Maiden . . . Moon . . . Crown. What? 

[I didn’t transcribe this part but I want you all to know that the words “glowmoss” and “glowshrooms” (“which suspended . . . like organic chandeliers”) were actually used.]

Men have finally been mentioned and it doesn’t look good.

“. . . I’m afraid this spring moon won’t be as festive as usual. Not after so many Earth Walkers have been recently captured by the Companions. The Earth Mother feels unusually restless to me, as if uncomfortable changes are coming. Our women have been filled with more sorrow than usual, and our men--well, we know the anger the Night Fever brews within our men.”

“They won’t just be angry, they’ll be dangerous. Damn Scratchers!

“Mari, don’t call your people that. It makes them sound like monsters.”

“They’re only half my people, Mother, and at night they are monsters. [wow wtf] Or at least the men are. What would happen if you didn’t wash them of the Night fever every three days? Wait, I know what would happen. It’s why a Moon Woman’s burrow has to always be hidden, even from her own Clan.” [WTF. btb they live in an actual burrow underground] Frustration and fear caused her words to be harsh, and as soon as she’d spoken them the sadness that filled her mother’s eyes made her regret such harshness.

“Mari, you must never forget that at night, even I have within me the capacity to be a monster.”

“Not you! I didn’t mean you. I’d never mean you!

“But the moon is all that keeps me from becoming more Scratcher than Earth Walker. Sadly, our people cannot call down the moon as I can, so I must do it for them as least once every three nights. Tonight is a Third Night, as well as the spring full moon. Our Clan will gather, and I will Wash [why is this capitalized?] them so that their lives may be open to accept love and joy instead of mired in melancholy and anger . . .”

I have no doubt this is going to be another Native American werewolves story. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? It goes into Mari being self-deprecating after this because she wants more than to be a part of her Clan and then talks about how Leda’s been hiding the truth about Mari her whole life. Presumably, that Mari is only half Moon Clan.

Okay so they talk about Mari’s power and how she keeps failing to do what her mother does but her mother assures her that nothing’s wrong because she “sane” with no sign of “madness or pain.” Leda needs to choose and apprentice but Mari’s wavering because she doesn’t think she’s good enough. Leda wants Mari to join her for the ceremony that night.

So apparently Mari has a choice to-be or not-to-be a Moon Woman?

Leda goes into pain again and Mari agrees to go with her.

Oh. oh no.

“Let me touch up your face. We’ll need to dye your hair again soon, but not tonight.”

Mari stifled a sigh and tilted her face up so that her mother could reapply the muddy mixture that kept their secret.

Leda worked in silence, thickening her daughter’s brow, flattening her cheekbones, and then, lastly, smearing the dirty, sticky clay substance down her neck and arms.

Brownface. Wow. I can’t even.

In other news Mari accidentally touched sunlight which caused a filigree pattern and a rush of power to spread over the skin on her hand even through the brownface.

So. Mari’s lighter skinned than the rest of her clan and she has an affinity for the sun instead of the moon. (btw that’s the opposite of how it should be genetically but whatever) Her mother and her have been hiding this for 17 years by keeping her locked up in the burrow during the day and hidden under clothing and brownface while she’s out at night. Wow.

This chapter was only 10 pages.

[decadentbirdtyrant]

Feeling Numb

TW: Mental Illness, smoking, disassociation, bipolar disorder, mentions of death, medication 

I don’t know what to post as triggers hopefully.

This is wrote in second person, I’m not sure why that’s just an easier way for me to write. Almost feels like I’ve removed myself from the equation in a way. 

You're doing it again. Staring at the wall unmoving, but as your vision fades from clear to blurry and back again the tell tale static clouds over the image. That's what it is though, an image. It doesn’t feel like real life anymore just like you are floating and staring at a paused screen. An image of a wall. The subtle movement in the lines before you as they bend back and forth are all you really need to know you are still breathing. You aren’t sure how long you have been blanking but noticing is a good sign that it’ll stop soon. That being said you still can’t feel your limbs and so trying to move them is nigh impossible. Finally though you manage to move your sight it's sluggish and it means you're coming back. The next thing you can move is your neck slowly looking back and forth and down to your hands. Slight twitches at first until you can flex your fingers then moving up your arms the feeling and movement returns to your control. But honestly the hardest part is last. You have to stand up, not that it is necessary but if you don’t you run the risk of spacing out again, and no one wants to be held hostage by their own body. It takes a while to gather the gumption to move your feet, they tingle from the numbness subsiding and soon there are pins and needles running up your legs. Now put it all together. Move your eyes and head, find a place to put your hands, use your arms to push yourself up, search again for a stable surface to grab onto, stabilize yourself while your legs continue to stall. Take one step and then another after four steps you start to feel normal again, you start to feel in control again. You feel like you have made it out of the woods, that you have accomplished a difficult task, just for it to all come crashing down. You don’t remember why you froze, what happened that made you become near catatonic. It wasn’t something big, there was no unexpected death, no terrible news, no real danger. Just the accumulation of stress and anxiety, the depression and anger dragging you down and finally your mind shutting itself off in a state of protection. It never helps. Instead of allowing yourself to fall victim again you make yourself move, distraction is the best method and games are a good way to keep mind occupied instead of fretting. 

Leaving the Living Room, keeping your head down and eyes cast to the floor while going through the Dining Room and through the door into your “office” the only thing that makes it your office is the expensive PC and dual monitor set you bought when you were manic. At least you were happy then. Other than that the office really just has some work out equipment (that you bought when you were manic and hardly touched), boxes from Amazon purchases, your old monitors that go with your old PC, and a wall mounted TV. All of which were impulse purchases, subtle reminders all over your house that you are in fact not well, not doing good, and hardly in control of yourself. Hell even this house is an impulse of a manic episode. Being both your escape and safe place and your biggest regret. 

Now that you sit at your desk you can’t help but notice the mess your life has become as the Dining Room sits right there in your peripherals. The table is covered in junk and more boxes of more things you bought when you shouldn’t have. There is hardly a Dining Room any more. You always tell yourself that you’ll stop, but all it takes is another obsession, an inkling of a thought that blossoms into an unneeded need. You need even more now to distract yourself. So you do the only thing that seems to work. Play a game on the computer and zone out on it for hours. 

By the time you decide to check the time four hours have passed and they felt like only one. Your joints are stiff and you can’t straighten your pinky finger without a little pain. That only really means you need a bit of a break before you continue this gaming endeavor. Standing up you feel multiple joints in your body pop and crack. Your muscles ache with the strain of moving for the first time in hours. Keep your head down as you walk through the Dining Room, but nothing can save you from the heart ache at seeing your kitchen. You suppose it could be worse but you were raised in a very clean house with a relatively strict mother who would definitely not be approving of the state of your house. It’s always the kitchen that hits the hardest though. When you had bought this house a year ago that kitchen looked completely different. You spent four weeks straight working on this kitchen, from repainting to putting in a new floor just so you could let it fall apart. But you do what you do best, avert your eyes and open the fridge which is honestly no better. Old food that should have been eaten days ago sits there mocking you. Another way of wasting money, it’s become a trend with you. Those around you tend to think you are good with your finances and if paying bills on time is all there is to go by then yes, you are good with your finances. Making a mental note to clean the fridge, which you will forget every time you look at the fridge for the next week, you grab out an energy drink. It feels like an addiction now, it kind of is a caffeine addiction Soda just doesn’t do it and the cans are just too small, say that to all the half drank cans of soda and energy drinks on the coffee table in the Living Room. No use thinking about that now, this can will join the ones in the office that are also half drunk. Moving along you whistle for your dog, and just as she always is she bounds up happily and wags her tail, her mouth open in a way that it looks like she is smiling at you. 

“Let's go outside” To that she jumps around and heads to the back door. You haven’t spoken in probably the last six hours and you can feel it in the way your throat felt scratchy and mouth felt dry. Going through the back door you once again move quickly as to not remind yourself of the mess your life is. When was the last time you cleaned the litter box? By the smell of it, it had been awhile and in this downward spiral you can tell it’ll be awhile more. 

There is something to say about fresh air, it always has an uncanny ability to make you feel ten times better than you felt in the stale indoor air. Yeah you may live in a city, and yeah you may live in a poor area of the city that is predominantly populated by meth addicts, and yes sometimes you can smell someone cooking meth in the air and the only reason you know what that smells like is because you have lived in this neighborhood for a long time. That does not diminish the fact that fresh air no matter how hot or how cold will always make you feel better. It’s dark out right now, there is a distinct lack in sound other than the buzz of bugs, a few cars, the occasional sirens and of course your dog. She has a hatred of anyone walking near her yard, bikes, motorcycles, and the mailman. You sit down on the back steps and pull out a pack of cigarettes. Cigarettes stopped feeling cool around the time you could legally buy them, but at that point they were no longer an accessory but a necessity. They calm you but really it isn’t the tobacco or the nicotine it's the deep breathing. The way you smoke a cigarette is actually very common to deep breathing exercises. You put the cigarette to your lips and take a deep breath in, holding it for a moment and then slowly releasing the breath. After the first drag you already feel calmer. Sure you could stop smoking and just take up deep breathing exercises but something tells you that you will never stick to it. What do you care about honestly, you obviously don’t have an issue wasting money on frivolous things, and you aren’t planning on living long and for as long as you can remember you never thought you’d live long. You just don’t see yourself growing old and wrinkly, in fact you have currently made it much further than you even considered possible. 

After finishing that cigarette you consider lighting another but your dog saves you from yourself by deciding then that she needed to bark loudly at god knows what. So you call her back in and though she too can be rather distracted she eventually comes happily inside trotting by you without a care in the world. Retracing your steps you keep your head down to not focus on the mess areas of your house until you are sitting back at your computer chair, your still unopened energy drink in front of you perspiration gathering on the outside. You’ll continue to ignore it though as you are back to the game and the outside world once again ceases to exist. Thankfully you can’t remember why you were so upset in the first place. 

This lasts until well past your bedtime with work coming up next evening you should really get to bed but if not the computer keeping you up the YouTube videos playing on the TV as background noise will. There is just something you hate about stopping a YouTube video in the middle of it. So you have to finish it. It’s fine though you know yourself and you know that you can run on little to no sleep. As it finishes you have to physically force yourself to shut down the PC and TV and make your way to the Bathroom. Unlike the rest of your house the Bathroom is relatively clean, it's just one of those places that drive you insane if it isn’t clean. Reaching above the medicine cabinet you grab down two orange pill bottles. ‘Lamotrigine’ and ‘Buspirone’ are supposed to help fix your head, maybe they are working but you honestly can’t tell. The only one that you can tell is doing something is ‘Bupropion’ and really that's only because it wakes you up it’s why you have to take it before work. It’s also why you feel more and more comfortable pushing the limits on bedtime. “If I don’t get enough sleep its fine, my meds will make me more awake and alert.” You also have prescribed sleeping pills but you don’t take them. They are only for dire situations but the last time you took them your dreams took a dark and rather gruesome turn so you stay away from them now. You glance over to the shower and consider that you should take a shower but “I can’t I have to go to bed for work” and “I don’t want to I’m too tired” also “I’ll just take a shower after I wake up” Which you know is a lie, they all are. You aren’t too tired, you don’t care about getting sleep for work, and you won't do it when you wake up. You can’t say why but you just can’t take a shower right now. So you don’t. You leave the bathroom without another thought and grab the cup by the kitchen sink, fill it with fridge water, and swallow back your pills. You hope the neighbor hadn’t seen you through the kitchen window. It’s an absurd thought but the idea of someone knowing you have to take pills to feel a semblance of okay is terrifying. 

When you were first diagnosed with a mental illness you were around the age of 7. It was depression and anxiety, things you started suffering from after your parents divorce 4 years ago. Though being 7 now and understanding divorce, try explaining that to a 3 year old who doesn’t understand why Daddy isn’t at home with them and Mommy. You were given your first prescription pills at the age of 7, and though she meant well your mother lied to you about what the pills were for. Your father on the other hand did not lie to you, was it because he cared? Maybe but mostly you think it was to be defiant towards your mother. The two hated each other at this time period. By not lying to you he made you upset with your mom for not telling the truth and resentful of the pills or as he referred to them “crazy pills”. 

“Crazy Pills” that's what you think when you take them, when you look at the bottles in the bathroom, when you even remember that you need to take them. One little phrase from nearly 20 years ago and it still haunts you to this day. It has foiled every other attempt at getting better mental health. But this time will be different. You hope. 

Once you have downed your pills, you start to feel this strange anxiety. It’s a morning anxiety usually where you feel this need to move and everything is going to slow. Quickly turning you head up the stairs to the second floor, it's more of a finished attic space where the ceiling height in the middle is just an inch or so above your head. This is the best part of your house. It’s the cleanest because you only come up here to go to sleep or fold laundry. Ducking through the bedroom door. Hurriedly you get undressed down to your boxers and turn on the fan. Crawling into bed you plug your phone in and grab a dissolvable melatonin, hoping that it’ll act quicker than your sleep anxiety can. If the sleep anxiety hits first you’ll be up for another three hours at least. It’s then that you remember what had put you in such a terrible mood. Scrolling through your phone you come across a post from a member of your “friend” group talking about how they all went and did something “had so much fun with all my friends!” You weren’t invited. You had always felt like you weren’t really a part of the group but you had always said it was because of your paranoid thoughts. Day by day though you start to notice that no, no you were right. They don’t care that you aren’t around, they don’t miss you, they wouldn’t notice if you disappeared, they wouldn’t care if you died other than to garner sympathy for themselves. You realize once again how much time and energy you’ve wasted on people trying to be who they want you to be just to be thrown away. Again. It stings a lot worse now, they are still friends with your ex, they still hang out with her and talk to her. Your breakup was mutual but no one thought to ask you if you were doing okay. Why would they? You don’t show your feelings, how could they possibly know you have any if you never show them. Robots don’t have feelings and at this point you just feel like a robot. A shell of a person. You do as you always do, distract yourself. Flipping through tabs on your phone you find one of fanfiction and start reading until the melatonin kicks in and finally you are asleep. You’ll wake up multiple times before you actually get up. You may get up in 3 hours or 8 but at least now you can sleep and forget all your worries until you wake up and they all come crashing back down on you. 

When you finally wake up you don’t leave your bed for a couple hours, just sit there and snooze the alarm over and over and once it’s almost time for work you pull yourself out of bed, get dressed and take “crazy pills”. Today is going to be a good day. It won’t but as long as you lie to yourself it's easier to face each day.

[kymanss2017]

Belated Gift for Yummykyman

“It’s simple, you see?” Kyle had no trouble getting past Cartman’s computer lock screen. Think anti-Jew and the answer will come up pretty quickly. “And since fatass never shuts his computer down all the way, this guarantees I can see the minute he starts writing his love letter.”

“Are you putting up a webcam on or something?”

“Better. I am setting up a discreet VPN. I’m just going to connect it to my phone, his computer, and my computer. I’ve got the program down-”

“Dude, what?”

“Just watch.” After opening a command prompt box and typing in a few strings of commands, the computer flashed once and everything went back to looking totally normal.

“What am I supposed to be seeing?” Stan asked, arms crossed. “It just looks like the Tom Brady background he’s had since he got this piece of junk.”

“It’s not a piece of junk, Stan.” Kyle was quick to correct. The computer was built pretty well. While it didn’t have the full specs of a gaming PC, it could run just about any game without too much of a lag. For the price he got it, it really was a steal. Of course, the few modifications Kyle had made over the year did make it run a little better.

“Whatever. Just hurry up. Practice ends in 30 minutes and you know he’s not going to take a shower before coming back.”

“Ugh, you’re right about that.” Kyle typed in a few more things then pulled up a basic word program. “Sit down and start writing something when I leave the room, kay?”

“Kay.” Stan took a seat and waited for Kyle to close the door behind him. He turned his palms up, sighed, and started writing:

I am writing something absolutely-

And at that moment, the cursor on the word program highlighted the words, deleted them, and replaced them with:

I eat dog shit for breakfast.

“What the hell?” Stan tried to type something else, but the control would always switch back over. “Dude! How are you doing that?”

“You make a VPN, you get the computer name, and you remote in.” Kyle explained, walking back into the room with his phone at his side. “I already ran the controls to bypass any sort of permission or alert that anyone is viewing his computer. Even when you put it at the lock screen, I can still access it. You can put the computer back to sleep. Our work here is done.” Triumphantly, Kyle turned to leave. Stan followed suit.

“Why are you so obsessed with this love letter crap anyway? Who cares if Cartman has a crush?”

“He hasn’t been in a relationship since the one with Heidi. Well, unless you count that one with-”

“He did not date Wendy. That didn’t happen.” Stan’s tone indicated he was not playing around on this. It was absolutely not up for debate. While Stan and Wendy had been off and on since grade school, probably even before that, they had their off periods. During one of them, for maybe three days, there was a thing between Cartman and Wendy. No one ever touched that subject. Despite the four being best friends since they could talk, this was a topic that could darken the whole thing. Kenny didn’t even make any innuendos. And that was saying something for Kenny.

“I just don’t want him to do to some other girl what he did to Heidi.”

“You still got a thing for her?”

“Well, no. But it’s the principle.”

“The principle of what? You not wanting Cartman to date? Is this because of his whole ‘I’m going to find a girlfriend before you’ bullshit?”

“It is not! I am not immature, unlike him.”

“Uh huh.”

A matter of forty-five minutes or so passed and Cartman slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing through their college suite like a gunshot. That didn’t mean anything. Cartman just had no sense of manners and didn’t give a shit if someone was trying to concentrate, or sleep, or just generally not want to have a door slammed for no reason.

“Oh hey, fellas!” Butters poked his head into Stan and Kyle’s room. For some reason, Butters’ parents demanded he join the football team. So he did. If Butters ever didn’t do something his parents told him to do, it would probably mean Cthulu was coming back. “Whatcha up to?”

“Broncos.” Stan answered in one word, positioning his chair so he could use Kyle’s desk as a better footrest while he watched the game.

“Oh boy! Are they winning?”

“They’re still singing the national anthem, Butters.”

“Oh, well I just thought…” He trailed off and looked to Kyle. “Are you watching the game too?”

“Not really. I prefer basketball.” He glanced back toward Stan, a look of concern almost evident on his face. “Did they say anything at practice?” He half mouthed half-whispered to Butters when Stan’s attention was back on the game. “I’m going to grab a drink. You want anything?” Kyle asked as an excuse to leave the room.

“Do we still have root beer?”

“I’ll check. You want to come with, Butters?”

“Sure thing, Kyle!” Butters followed quickly, tripping over his own foot. “Whoops.” When they got far enough from the room, Butters leaned over to Kyle. “How is his ACL doing? You think he’s gonna be back before the end of the season? Coach said he was out for sure, but he worked so hard…”

“Yeah, I know.” Kyle sighed. A torn ACL wasn’t something you could just walk off, though. “He is meeting with the sports doctor again tomorrow, but it doesn’t look good. Is the coach still gonna give him his letter?”

“He is. I asked him.”

“At least there’s that.” The season was almost over, but Stan had been out a couple of games. “If he’ll even accept it.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Butters asked.

“Pride. Something about not deserving it. You know how he gets in his own head about that stuff.”

“Poor guy.”

“Butters!” Cartman’s voice made them both jump.

“Um, yeah, Eric?” Butters turned his attention to his teammate, still clad in sweaty practice clothes. At least the weather was cooler. It made it… less gross.

“Get in here!”

“But me and Kyle were-”

“I don’t care. Just get in here now.”

“Uh, alright.” Butters looked between Cartman and Kyle. Kyle tried to hide the anticipation from his face. Cartman must have written up the confession while the three were idling around. It didn’t break his heart at all when Butters followed. Kyle grabbed a root beer and a bottle of something- he didn’t care what, he had to get back to his computer.

“Catch!” Kyle tossed the can to Stan who caught it like a pro.

“Is the action starting?”

“I’m late!” Kyle’s hands were practically shaking as he pulled open his laptop. So who was it? Which girl was it that had charmed the biggest jerk in South Park? Not that he cared. It didn’t matter. The girl would say no. She had to. But if she doesn’t. If they get together, there’s going to be no chance in hell that we’ll ever… Kyle pulled up the remote session and started prying through the open word document.

Known you since we were in grade school…. something something I know I’ve kind of been a jerk to you, but blah blah blah justification and I think that we should at least talk about it.

“Agh! Who is it?” Kyle slammed a fist on the desk, eventually growing impatient and scrolling through the document. Yeah, Cartman was going to see that something was moving his cursor, but it wasn’t like he was going to put two and two together and figure out he was being watched.

I’m not going to start this email off with something gay like “dear” or something, so you can just shove it. Anyway, I like you.

“Kyle!” Cartman’s voice tore through the suite. Before he had a chance to shut his laptop, Cartman was already knocking him out of his chair. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Hey, don’t mess with my computer, fatass!” Kyle took a knee and tried to get up, not used to being caught off guard. Even with the size difference, Kyle almost always had the upper hand in a fight.

“That’s what I should be saying to you, Jew!” Cartman slammed Kyle’s laptop shut and grabbed him by the shoulders, easily pulling him off the ground. Kyle caught his footing pretty quickly and pushed Cartman back. “How long have you been spying on me?”

“I’m not spying on you!” Kyle blocked a punch and threw one in return. “Why would I want to know anything more about you than I have to?”

“You’re a fucking liar, Kyle!” Cartman took the punch, but it didn’t have much of an effect on the adrenaline-boosted pillar of fury. “I just saw it on your computer! You’re reading my private email!”

“Guys, guys, calm down!” Stan would normally have broken the two up by this point, but with his leg jacked up, there was little he could do. Butters stood outside the door panicking.

“That is my private email, Kyle!”

“Oh, like you’ve been keeping anything a secret! You’ve been blathering on about your 'dream girl’ since last month! The whole school knows you’re- oof!” An unexpected fist to the gut cut off the rest of the sentence. Kyle reeled.

“That doesn’t grant you some Jew-God given right to spy! Besides! I was buying time to-” Cartman cut himself off. The hesitation gave Kyle a chance to tackle him to the ground, finally gaining the upper hand.

“To what?”

“Kyle! Stop!” Butters did his best to put himself between Cartman and Kyle. “He was writing that letter to you!”

“Butters!” “What?” The two spat simultaneously. Stan was speechless.

“Is that a joke?” Kyle asked, feeling his cheeks redden.

“Yes!” He shoved Kyle off him. “No! Butters, how could you-”

“Wait, Butters? You knew?” Stan asked.

“You didn’t?” Butters asked in return. Kyle and Cartman sat on the floor trying to gauge the other’s expression.

“I always thought Kyle was going to be the one to confess.” Stan shrugged and sat down, making himself comfortable as he watched the two, trying not to laugh.

“You have a crush on me?” Cartman asked.

“Well, yeah. You’re… Yeah.” Kyle sputtered. “You like me? But you’re always ragging on me.”

“That’s called flirting, dumbass!” Cartman shoved Kyle, but without the previous animosity.

“Well, you suck at flirting.”

“Are you guys gonna kiss now?” Butters asked, excited as could be.

“Butters!” The two shouted in unison, both quickly pulling themselves to their feet.

“I just thought that since…” He trailed off. Or maybe he finished his sentence. Cartman and Kyle were trying to find any sign that the other might be lying.

“Ugh. You stink. Go take a shower and… maybe we can go get coffee or something.” Kyle muttered, turning away.

“Whatever. I’ll shower if I damn well please.” Then after a silence, “Tweek’s Coffee?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you in like, ten minutes.” Kyle agreed, knowing his face was too flushed red to even dare making eye contact with anyone else.

“Sweet.”

[tearasshouse]

Mostly vidya ramblings pt 3C

Previous post here.

Right, software time. A cursory glance at my PSN Profile will show that I’ve met my personal quota of getting the platinum in at least 10 PlayStation titles over the year, with a few PC titles sprinkled in for good measure since hey, I have access to a Windows machine again (though it’s not exactly a games machine, unless your definition of a “gaming rig” is something with a 15W Core i3 and modest laptop Radeon graphics). While I didn’t start out meaning to rank these games, I find I have a tendency to do so anyway and while I’m certainly not saying these games are outright bad, they were absolutely lower on the rung, so I’ve dubbed this part “C” (again, no disrespect to the devs or any who rate these games higher than I do; these are just my personal assessments). These are OK games.

The Darkness 2 (Steam)

Enjoyable, somewhat! I put this down like, ages ago when I picked it up for a song on PC, feeling it was too basic and uh “console shootery” at the time. Often times, having restrictions placed upon something can net great results, and hamstrung as I am by my less-capable hardware, I’ve only been picking up Steam games that could run on lower end hardware, or anything released prior to say, 2015. Surprisingly this runs at something stupid like 200 FPS on my machine with V-Sync off and all settings on High at 1080p, so go figure. Anyway, it’s a short and enjoyable shooter. I don’t know anything about the comics upon which the game(s) are based, but Jackie is a likeable character, the Darkness powers are fun enough, the locations are varied, the supporting cast surprisingly interesting and the plot was actually pretty cool too, with a major sequel hook that we’ll probably never get. 

Ori & The Blind Forest (Steam)

It sorta hovers a bit below 60fps while running at 1080p, but it’s all just a bit reductive when one spends more time looking at the framerate counter than playing a game, no? The blessing and curse of PC gaming I suppose. Anyway, as a Metroidvania the game is a bit annoying. As a piece of interactive fiction, it’s too saccharine and feels like a B-tier Dreamworks production for children which, I suppose shouldn’t be a knock against the game but I have to say --  wasn’t my cup of tea. Reminds me a bit of Child of Light by Ubisoft -- gorgeous to look at, benign if not frustrating to play (those escape sequences can piss off), and young gamers would probably find more to like in the...emotional tidbits than most adults.

Crysis 2 (Steam)

So apparently this got delisted off Steam but now it’s back up or something with EA deciding to put their back catalog on the platform or something? Anyway, like this list implies, Crysis 2 is an okay game, nothing more and nothing less. The nanosuit energy depletes a bit too quick for my liking, and you’re really made to feel like a badass only some of the times, in quick and short bursts, not unlike BJ in the new Wolfenstein games by MachineGames (any more prolonged exposure to hitscan weapons and other bullshit will quickly send you to the loading screen). Thing is, I don’t want to feel like a badass only some of the time? I mean, you put a ripped supersoldier type doing the Badass Looking Back At the Viewer Pose on the cover and I expect to be able to do certain things without stopping for a breather every 20 seconds, ya know? If you’re going to give me the power fantasy, commit to it. Or, find ways to keep the flow up and reward mastery to make players earn said fantasy (something the new DOOMs  have done and why those have been so successful). I certainly don’t envy game devs for having to balance this shit, but id Software showed you one way of how you might do that while the Crysis games and those of their ilk just feel slow and unrewarding. 

Quantum Break (Steam)

Really surprised I was able to get this running on my PC but hey, it runs on the Xbox One so how hard could it be? I dearly love Remedy’s games, even if they’re a bit straightforward at times and you get the feeling they’d rather be in the business of non-interactive fiction than games making at times. Well here is a TV show hybrid! Made exclusively in partnership with Microsoft as part of their TV & STREAMING, TV & STREAMING, SPORTS & STREAMING strategy of the 2010s. I didn’t care for the plot, nor the endless email / audiobook / loredumps scattered around, nor the characters, any of it. I will say the final stage with the super high tech offices was a delight (boy wouldn’t I love to live the corpo life in such beautiful, clean office environs). Lance Reddick was a treat as always. Peter “Littlefinger” Baelish shows up to do a thing. Yeah, it’s a Remedy joint through and through. 2019′s Control was such a highlight for me that I’ll take any kind of prototype-y take on it (and QB certainly feels like a rougher, worse version of Control, at least mechanically).

Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs / Dear Esther: Landmark Edition (Steam)

These titles were certainly...things that I installed onto my PC and sat through... Yes. Look, I’m not one to dog on walking simulators, and I know the devs have faced tough times recently but I still feel these are acquired tastes and could be appreciably improved in too many ways to name. Of the two, Dear Esther is the one I’d rec because at least that one was quite pleasant to meander around in while Amnesia left me disappointed that I’d wasted my time, physically sick with its subpar performance and muddy graphics, flaccid with its stodgy plot and left absolutely disappointed that I’d wasted my time on such a bizarre and confusing payoff towards the end. Chinese Room, I mean this in the most constructive way possible: maybe try a different type of game next time.

Return to Castle Wolfenstein (GOG)

I remember putting in some decent time into the DEMO version of RtCW’s MP mode, being amazed at the time by the particle effects, with child-me just running around the D-Day map with the flamethrower out. Anyway, years later and I finally played the SP campaign. It’s maybe better than Allied Assault’s? It feels more consistently entertaining anyway. Hell I think I like these boomer shooters better than MachineGames’ recent efforts (which isn’t saying a whole lot because I find those games just merely okay). I promise you I’m not just being a crotchety old fart.

Ys: Memories of Celceta (PS Vita)

I’d been playing through this over the spring on my Vita TV, before it bit the dust eventually and I’ve been meaning to go back and wrap up the cheevos. I was a bit lukewarm with Oath in Felghana (my first Ys), but could definitely see the appeal in the series, as boss rush games aren’t really my cup of tea (ie. it’s the journey and not the destination of say, a Souls game that is the meat for me). Definitely a game that would benefit from a 60fps refresh and cleaner graphics than what the Vita can provide. I’ve already got a copy of Ys 8 in shrink wrap and have my eyes set on emulating Ys Seven or grabbing the GOG version. A game where action is king and story or character development is secondary; I would prefer more of the latter to make this more of a JRPG and less of a “predominantly Japanese action game with superficial RPG elements”.

Catherine: Full Body (PS4)

I paid $70 for this on day one and I’ve gotta say... should’ve waited for the price drop. I’m a somewhat lapsed Atlus mark, and I still hold the original Persona 5 as my no. 1 in the PS4′s lineup (with Dragon Quest XI possibly being a tie), yet I bought this knowing it wouldn’t really be for me. Why? High difficulty in a genre I don’t play, like at all, a relatively short clear time (in itself not an issue and frankly welcome these days HOWEVER...), and a somewhat unsatisfying payoff despite being a supernatural romance thriller. I bought this as seed money for Atlus’s P.Studio/Studio Zero, in the hopes that Project Re: Fantasy will knock my socks off just like the latter day Persona games have. Because in spite of the contents not really appealing to me, it’s still supremely well made, and it’s not everyday that games like these get made, so there you go. Look, if I could go back in time and put this money towards 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, I probably would, but then the Catherine steelbook is ever so pretty... 

Tearaway Unfolded (PS4)

The OG game is one of the most charming little 3D platformer/collect-a-thons out there, and as far as children’s games (or er, “games that also appeal to children”) go, more of these and less of those please (your Child of Lights and Oris). I’d go as far as to say the OG version is better than the PS4 version, though the PS4 version is also quite good. Really, if I wasn’t going for that stupid Misplaced Gopher trophy, this would probably be an easy shoe-in for the B-tier list, but I place this demotion firmly at Media.Molecule’s feet. That cheevo is cursed.

The Missing: JJ Macfield and the Island of Memories (PS4)

I’d almost forgotten about this! If that doesn’t qualify for making the C-tier list then I don’t know what else does. I only know of Swery65′s qualities through osmosis, having watched the 2BF’s legendary LP of Deadly Premonition and the gone-too-soon D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die. He’s an interesting person with interesting ideas but crucially, as a game dev, his output is just... kinda mediocre? If not outright bad? Case in point with this game. It looks and runs like garbo; it plays like garbo; the character designs are cute; the dialogue is pretty good; there is a wonderful and gradual “twist” to the main character that was super spoiled for me when people were discussing and promoting it (like, that is my bad, but also internet discourse on any kind of entertainment media is just *fucked*); there’s a lot of semi-colons in this sentence so I’ll stop here. 

And the balls to charge like, what, $40+ for the game on PSN?? I’d gotten it for way less on a sale but in a day and age when $1 could buy you 3 months of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate and MS might also throw in a curio like this in there just to fill in the gaps, it makes you wonder if these kinds of games can ever turn a profit, especially when the end product is this jank. And these are commercial goods, make no mistake, any aspirations to being an art piece or social critique notwithstanding, so that also brings to the fore the whole aspect of pricing games, relative value, production and marketing costs, blah blah.

IF you like something different, can appreciate games made on a shoestring budget with arguably bad gameplay and technical deficiencies, but has...heart? Then look no further to the output of this man. The most C-worthy of all the titles listed here. 

[techgearalabama376-blog]

What High Tech Gadgets Should I Get For My Apartment??

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That isn't captivated by novel toys and goofy gifts? Heck, if you like our selection sufficient give us a follow on twitter and facebook to remain current with new postings as well as items. We do our best to remain hip with brand-new items and are always discovering new cool things on the internet.

Are you a drinker? We have gadgets for that. Are you a total nerd? We are too as well as we have gadgets for that. Are you really cool? Most likely not, but we have gadgets for those people too. Whatever your taste you definitely will discover it. If you can't discover it after that you require to browse once again.

Which Is A Pollutant Associated With High Tech Gadgets In Landfills?

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How To Make Hi Tech Gadgets?

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What To Do With Old Tech Gadgets?

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Acquisition: $129 If you such as to take off with your pet at your side, purchasing something like the Whistle Go Explore is definitely an excellent suggestion. Utilizing GPS, this tool affixes to Dog's collar as well as can allow you know his/her precise place in all times. It's additionally IPX 8 water-proof, has a built-in nightlight, 20-days of battery life, and also more.

What Was The Coolest Tech Gadgets 12 Years Ago/?

And also because they still really did not introduce the new supposed-water-resistant variation yet, these ones are still plenty viable compared to non-Apple options. They're super very easy to use, bill quickly, as well as-- also in their situation-- are little enough to get on your pocket. Purchase: $144 If you think this gadget looks a terrible great deal like a Game Child, you would certainly be area on.

That's due to the fact that this Wi Fi-enabled portable video gaming console in fact downloads video games from the net. As well as the video games are attractive awesome, also, from the makers of franchise business like Firewatch and Katamari Damacy. Best of all, they're consisted of with the price of the gadget. Purchase: $149 Workout-ready earbuds are great for some individuals, however they can be unpleasant, the sound top quality is lacking, as well as-- when it comes to completely cordless ones-- they're easy to shed.

They seem great, offer Bluetooth connection, are easy to tidy, and also have simple controls. If you such as to get a solid exercise in yet earbuds don't do it for you, don't pass these up. Purchase: $169 You may not think it, however the Scandinavians behind IKEA have actually been silently introducing in some lovely great methods recently.

Natural Gear Men's SC2 Cool Tech Pants

Where To Buy Modern Tech And Gadgets Online?

A good-looking item of furnishings , it can light up any room with soft, flexible light but additionally provides music streaming courtesy of a Sonos onboard audio speaker-- which you manage using the Sonos application on your smartphone. Acquisition: $179 Many folks have a great deal of cordless tech in their houses nowadays.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

December 9: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

(previous notes: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace)

Source: Blu-ray release, the box set with all six Lucas-era movies (2D)

I feel like in recent years I've seen a lot of rhetoric claiming that this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies. But I've always felt like the prequels improve as they go, at least a little. Like, Hayden Christiensen might not be especially good, but he's an improvement on Jake Lloyd. Is there less of the childish stuff in this movie? Let's press play and find out.

Opening crawl is first mention of Count Dooku; seems like the previous stuff was resolved and a new story is beginning. Maybe that's why it's common for people to recommend skipping Episode I, like it's not actually necessary.

We also at this point in the natural chronology don't know anything about clones. Just the title here.

Another decoy-Amidala, but this one gets blowed up right away. And that's Rose Byrne, right?

0:07:30 - Obi-wan does a "oh… oh yes…. Mm mm mm mm mm mm" thing which is stupid and I don't like it.

Wait, no Rose Byrne is a silent handmaiden lady I guess. Unless they're clonesies. Are they clonesies?

Hey, a glimpse of Coruscant's colorful nightlife scene! Or at least some commercial advertisements. Feels like we don't see much of the lives of regular folk of Coruscant much.

Super pretty imagery of this city at night with its traffic and lights and I know I say that every time but it's great.

0:14:30 - Obi-wan shooting himself through a hole in the window in pursuit of that flying robot villain is exciting! And then he just hangs onto it, and then the sniper snipes him off it and he just falls and falls! This is a good action scene.

Then later, Anakin just jumps and falls and falls on purpose like and it's fun to watch.

0:20:00 - Does the sniper have a weird disguise that goes away when she turns her head? Is that what I saw?

"This weapon is your life" says Ewan McGregor doing his best impression of Alec Guinness. I think it was supposed to be funny. And I think it succeeds. Helps to remember that EG's natural accent is Scottish. And you know what? Maybe a little bit ago when I didn't like EG's hammy delivery, I should respect that he's embracing the need for him to embody a young version of Alec Guiness's character, figuring out what that would look like while honoring the director's vision.

They're in a nightclub, and I think there's some genuinely imaginative vision around what people are doing in there.

Ooh! The sniper got sniped by someone else, and the shot of that second sniper zipping away on a jetpack is I like it.

Senator Amidala gives Jar Jar the important job of substitute senator while she goes and hides. Yeah right. Not very credible.

Now Anakin is venting to Amidala in a way that shows how cocky he is. He does the flirtation stuff so that we'll think he's sexy like Han Solo, but also visibly flawed with impatience. Meh. Okay.

Whoa, Rose Byrne just did some acting! She spontaneously shed a tear in a way that looked authentic! Acting… in a Star Wars prequel!

0:31:50 - A greasy spoon diner! I don't remember this. Obi Wan is doing some intel gathering and George Lucas decided to go all in on having this be a 50's-style neon urban railcar slop counter!

The romance. Anakin and Amidala. GL is also going all in on the overtness of that plot. Maybe it's fine? Anakin seems like a horny and awkward teen with a huge crush on someone out of his league but he's going for it anyway. Maybe we'll be convinced that she'd succumb to his charms?

0:39:00 - We're back on Naboo… this scene is oddly non-CGI-looking. Did they film this in a real place with that actual architecture?

The tension they're setting up between Anakin and Amidala is moving in a direction of NOT growing fonder of each other. She looks irritated, and rightly so. This is a move that experienced romance plot makers make, but will GL pull it off?

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is doing spycraft, going to the clone planet place and pretending he's the one who ordered the whatever. "That's why I'm here!" Kinda funny.

0:44:45 - Okay, another A&A scene. He has that line about sand getting everywhere. She looks really damn fly. They kiss a bit and then she changes her mind. See, this is a weak link in the romance plot. We don't buy it. She's not such a sucker that she'd want to kiss him now. She didn't go, "oh he was so charming when he talked about where sand goes that now I'm not only less annoyed by his churlishness but I'm actually turned on". Or did she.

There's something about Obi-Wan's intel gathering, realizing that this huge army of clones is being put together, that's very James Bond-y. I mean that in a good way.

Naboo countryside is hella pretty.

Oh ick. A very very stupid romance scene just happened. See, Anakin fell off a blob creature and it looked like he was hurt! This worried Amidala! She ran to him but it turned out he was okay! They laughed and laughed at this merry misunderstanding and rolled around together! Oh merry! And…. SCENE.

Now Obi-Wan and Jango Fett are having a fight on a platform place and it's pretty exciting and still kind of like a Bond movie. Even more so because of "gadgets" like the devices on JF's outfit. And a dippy little "this is not good" comment from Obi-Wan that would fit in okay coming out of 007.

A&A go to Tatooine and talk to the salvage dealer who used to own Anakin. I like where that CGI character visibly starts to recognize the grown-up Anakin.

Obi-Wan followed JF & Son to a pretty red planet with an asteroid field and it's fucking beautiful and they do this wicked sound effect with bombs and it looks and sounds mother fucking amazing. Seriously god damn. The SOUND.

1:11:40 - They're at what will be the moisture farm of Luke, et al. "I'm Owen Lars and this is my GIRLFRIEND Beru." See, because this is BEFORE they're married. She's JUST his GIRLFRIEND.

1:14:20 - Okay, they just did a weird thing where A&A have an exchange, then hug. But the camera just shows their SHADOWS. And Anakin's shadow looks like he maybe kind of has some semblance of a VADER HELMET. I'm not even that convinced that that's what they were going for. If it actually conveyed that, it'd be cooler. As is, it's a little awkward. But I wouldn't discourage a director from going for this kind of thing.

Anakin found the Tusken Raider camp where they'd brought his mom and he found her just in time for her to die. Like she was just hanging on long enough for him to witness her death. Melodramatic. Then he goes and slaughters everyone… this turns out to be important because it's the catalyst for him turning dark, but it's sort of a weak explanation for something so important.

So HC just did a rage monologue about how he killed everyone, and okay it's not good, but I really don't think it's HC that isn't good. I think he did his very best with really dumb writing.

1:34:30 - Ooh, we're back in that neat senate hall. Jar Jar was suckered into proposing that Palpatine be given special powers, and it's super easy and it just works, and the Jedi are like "oh, hm, bummer". I'm just not impressed with the story.

A&A have arrived on Geonosis and it's quickly quite actiony and rather like a video game where they have to fight robots and hop on platforms at just the right time. I dig it.

It's a little odd now… so I already forgot how A&A got captured in the video game factory place, but they're quickly hustled to an execution arena to be munched to death by monsters before a delighted audience. With Obi-Wan. Just a little odd, but now it's pretty fun action.

Oh yeah, Mace Windu cut Jango Fett's right head off! Forgot that. Another case of an interesting villain ending disappointingly. Except that it's important because his "son" witnesses it and looks vengeance-y.

1:56:40 - Yoda heroically shows up to save the good guys with a force of soldiers that look kind of like Stormtroopers. Those are clones, right? I guess so, but the movie didn't quite ensure we know that. I mean, if they're going to treat the audience like children with their jokes, maybe they could extend that same expectation to plot explanations.

Okay, so now they're in a much bigger battle. I like the flying thing that delivers a walking tank thing! Lots of exciting things to look at. It's not that clear which side is which, not by looking at the battle, but maybe that doesn’t matter too much.

They shoot down a globe-shaped ship as it's taking off and it's pretty. So is lots of this battle stuff.

How does Anakin have a lightsaber now? His was broken earlier. I'm probably not the first to ask that. I probably overlooked the explanation. Seems like they trimmed stuff out of this part of the movie to improve the pacing.

2:07:50 - This is the part that worked well enough that it's probably the main factor in holding this movie's reputation above that of Episode I: the light saber duel with Yoda! Those of us who had played the Dark Forces PC games were already familiar with how it would look to see a Yoda-type wailing on someone with a light saber, but it was a pleasant surprise for many, and it definitely worked.

Then Dooku escapes on a ship that does a really sweet-looking panel-unfurling thing. Love it. And then he goes to Coruscant. Very visibly. Which is for me to love some more.

The movie ends right after that, with Yoda observing that it's dumb to think of this as a victory because now the Clone War has started. Then we get suitably disturbing imagery of the Clone Army being imposing with, significantly, the Imperial March in the background. It's okay. Then a shot of A&A getting hitched. With, a little less significantly, the new tragic-love theme in the background which John Williams was probably pretty pleased with. And over. Okay.

Yeah, better than Episode I. Less childish. Although it's harder to point to a climax, it somehow seems less anti-climactic than Ep1. No less impressive visually, but with new locales compared with the first one. And it's true that you can get all the information you need by starting here instead of with the first one.

(next: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)