#I think I'm getting significantly better as I go
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Ask Masterpost 2/1/2024
Fourth edition! I changed some formatting things for better readability.
Summary:
Permissibility of creator-leaked/teased soundtracks (Not allowed)
Proposal of demographics poll
Permissibility of Simlish covers (Allowed)
What franchise has the most polls?
Permissibility of remixes of licensed music (Allowed)
Inquiry about duplicate submissions
Permissibility of pinball soundtracks (Not Allowed) and Inquiry about ports of older games
Permissibility of unused tracks in the game files (Allowed)
Permissibility of roblox game tracks (Allowed)
Highest "I like & I know it" song?
Inquiry about revealing the composer before the reveal
Proposal of demographics poll
"Can we submit 'leaked' soundtracks from games if the creator leaked/teased them?"
I'm going to say no, because there's a broad spectrum of scenarios that could happen in between the 'leak' and the official launch of the song that would technically make the 'leak' not indicative of the final product and of course you don't know that until the final product is released :').
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@pomrania asked:
Is there any chance we could get a poll on what people mean when they vote for that they like a song, or that it sounds familiar? For me, "I like this song" means "I'd want to listen to it again once it's revealed", and "it sounds familiar" generally means "I'm not sure whether I've heard it before but I might have" also sometimes it's "I know I haven't heard this SPECIFIC song before, but I recognize the motifs in it".
Or if that's not something you'd want to make a poll for, then I'd still be interested in seeing what people say for how they vote on things, like in the comments.
I think this would be super interesting to do for a special event or something like that! I've been curious about demographics and other general statistics for a while now. I'm actually starting to have quite a good rhythm with managing the blog now so I may begin implementing the fun side ideas I've had sometime soon (or at least, I hope so, this semester is looking rough LOL)
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Can we submit simlish versions of popular songs, like simlish Katy Perry?
They're remixes for a game so absolutely! I think we already have some in the submissions queue.
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Which franchise/game has the most polls?
It's probably destiny (forlorn, distant stare).
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@haellen-o asked:
Is licensed music created/remixed for video games allowed?
(examples being the version of rob zombies dragula in the original jet set radio. And ludens by bring my the horizon)
It's an official remix for the game's soundtrack, so absolutely :).
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Out of curiosity, how often do you get duplicate requests from different people (or maybe the same person, worried you never got their first response, lol)? I think you've said you have around 7,000 requests, is that after removing duplicates or before?
We honestly have a lot of duplicate requests for popular games, and we've been shaving down the duplicates as we go along and queue new submissions. I think we've cut down AROUND ~1000 duplicates so far (we're not done!) and these are mostly very popular (at least on tumblr) games such as disco elysium, sonic series games, in stars and time, final fantasy, pokemon, tf2, mass effect, hollow knight, legend of zelda, just off the top of my head. The 7000 number was from before removing duplicates.
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for older games where the music is ported to different consoles, would the soundtracks be considered separate if the soundfonts impact them enough, or do they have to be very, VERY different? Like if a game was released on pc vs a 32x port.
Also, if a pinball cabinet includes a soundtrack, is that considered a video game soundtrack?
I would honestly just submit your PREFERRED version (if the soundfonts did differ), and I would put BOTH versions into the reveal, since I don't think this is a common enough occurrence to be significantly obnoxious/unfair for whatever reason. As for the pinball question, last masterpost answered overwhelmingly 'no', so I'm going to say no as well :').
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Are unused vgms allowed for submission? So in the files but never added to the game itself.
If you can credit the creator of the tracks then yes! (provided they're in the files in the final publicly released version and not from a demo/waiting for a future update to be implemented in a live service game/etc)
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are roblox games allowed?
Yes, if you can credit the creator of the tracks and they were made for that roblox game :).
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what song had the highest "I like it and I've definitely heard it before" percent?
I think it is still #100, which was Megalovania from Undertale (85.20%) Correction: It's Death By Glamour, #460, at 87% :)
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@enderlordisadumbusername asked:
are we allowed to mention song composers before the song has been revealed?
Absolutely!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And please do!!!!!! (This will literally only give away the game if you were already familiar enough to know the composer, so it's actually very perfect)
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Would you or have you ever run a poll to gauge how much of a song your followers listen to before voting?
Definitely considering it after learning a lot of people don't listen to the full song or even at least the first minute...
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Do you think the fandoms expectations of Sophie is too high? I feel like however good or bad she the writers will make her out to be in season 4, there will be lots of people upset.
Prepare yourself because I'm about to express a very negative opinion I have on the show
I think that either way there's going to be backlash but its not going to be the fault of the character or of the season in and on itself its just that Netflix and the showrunners have got to pay their dues.
The backlash will happen almost certainly because there are a lot of dissapointed and distrustful fans, who don't think their favorite storylines are going to get treated well and unless someone like Dolly Parton writes the Benophie season with the appropriate amount of humor, romance and respect for fans, this is the burden of negative expectation the showrunners has put on season 4.
Benophie shippers have to deal with years of accumulated fan dislike over the changes made in s2 and s3 to trust Sophie isn't going to get shortchanged in some way. Be it by having her scenes with Benedict cut short to focus on Eloise latest pet project, having Sophie's backstory changed to fit the personality of whatever showrunner was in charge or simply by cutting important scenes from the book. Because the show has proved that these things have happened and they can happen again.
I do agree that people need to separate their general upset at the show for being untrustworthy and their upset over Sophie as a character until s4 actually airs. But I'm not going to pretend Sophie and S4 are not going to suffer for the accumulated betrayal that fans have carried in the name of everything done wrong in s2 and s3. The showrunners knew this was a risk when they began upsetting fans, they still took it and there's a high possibility that unless we get some really really spectacular writing, s4 will pay for previous seasons sins.
Us Benophie shippers are going to have to defend a lot because If it's a good season, it will get lukewarm reviews but if its a bad season, disappointed fans are going to finish burning bridges with the show and boy it will most likely be on poor Sophie's funeral pyre.
I personally don't know how Show Sophie is going to be handled, Sophie in the books is someone very well written, kind, resilient, hard working, friendly but somewhat distrustful, and most of all, she's a character filled with hope that things will eventually work out for her. I cannot stress enough how much I love how book Sophie was designed as a character, but some part of it has to do with being in direct juxtaposition to book Benedict, who had a lot more growing up to do than Show Benedict does. Book Benedict, who was unsure of how to stand out among his talented siblings, passive Benedict who never actually took a stand for something he cared about until he met Sophie. Somewhat dickish Benedict who was extremely attached to his lifestyle as a ton gentleman and never questioned how women of lower status were treated by society because that's just the world he was born into.
Book Sophie shines as a character in her own right, but some of that shine has to do with the fact that she inspires the very flawed and somewhat dickish Benedict to change for the better. The Benedict in the show doesn't have the flaws that made his book counterpart both appealing and unlikeable. Which might be a good thing. But it also disrupts the balance of the expectations placed on Show Sophie as a character. How is she going to inspire a change in a Benedict who is now significantly more feminist, accepting, and non discriminatory than his book counterpart. Why exactly is he going to fall inlove with her as opposed to someone like Genevieve or lady Tilly?. What makes HER so special when his previous love affairs were not?.
And I think us book readers who love Sophie very much, have to brace ourselves for the backlash that's going to come Sophie's way. Yerin Ha has some unfair expectations to fill already (3 season's worth of accumulated disappointment has taken it's toll on the Bridgerton fandom and lets just say, there's a reason I use the block button liberally, when it gets toxic, it gets toxic) and I agree, the responsibility to carry season 4's success shouldn't be placed on her back alone. But if there's something that 3 seasons of viewership has taught me, is that it's usually the lead actress who gets the bulk of the blame when fans are mad at how their season was adapted into screen.
This is without taking into account how oversexualized the show has made Benedict. Yes this was an intentional show writing choice, yes it isn't the fandom's fault. But in my personal opinion, there way some internet users talk about Benedict as a character is so sexually obsessive, that at some point I wanna yell at them that Benedict's personality isn't in fact only made up of his number of sexual encounters and undefined sexual orientation. You think the weirdos out there sexually obsessed with Benedict aren't going to hate on Sophie for being the one who gets the metaphorical happily ever after with his D? think again readers, think again.
So to summarize, I wish I could answer this ask with a higher degree of positivity. I really do. In my heart, I do hope that my prediction doesn't come true and that season 4 is in fact so well received that we all forget that we've already had 3 seasons of questionable writing choices. In this blog I will continue to support Yerin Ha and Sophie Baek.
Heck even if show Sophie ends up being a not like other girls pick me girlboss ala Eloise of season 2 (can you imagine 'I'm Sophie I'm not like other girls, I don't need no man, I work for a living, the noblewomen Benedict has hooked up could never' ugh the nightmare), I will still support Yerin Ha because I think the casting choice was wonderfully made.
And I will still hold on to Book Sophie as a character very dear to my heart, because I can. Nothing the show does can change that. And the wonderful thing about fanfiction, is that I can use the show casting with the book character design when I write, so either way, we will always have Benophie fanworks to keep us well entertained if worse come to worse.
If best comes to best, I will be happy to be proven wrong. And I'll come back to this ask and say something like "guys you were right, season 4 didn't have any backlash, I was overly pessimistic after all" and we will all celebrate.
But until that time comes. that's the tea
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(sorry I'm not super here at the moment because I'm just incredibly exhausted for no apparent reason, but I do make tiny frustrating steps towards doing more stuff!!)
#thoughts#trying to balance the “being in vacation to sleep forever” VS “being in vacation to actually do my own stuff for a change”#I wish you'd sleep in pocket dimensions that would slow down time#also also I'm soooo excited for the current scene in thralls#it's the OoT Kneeling/show of fealty one!! and it's everything I hoped for honestly#it's long tho it's like 5'20 so it's taking me some time#but I'm seeing the finish line#if I could gather enough energy tomorrow and monday to lock it down it would be really neat#then I'll share some screenshots because I have some cool ones in this scene!!#I think I'm getting significantly better as I go#which is starting to be a problem for the earlier scenes.....#the never ending cycle :((((
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award for most neurotic 13 year old goes to...!!!!
(LOW-EFFORT FUNNIES UNDER CUT)
#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama ritsu#ritsu kageyama#Okay. fandom tags out of the way now I get to be annoying#so. um. several things first i havent properly drawn anything digitally since August?#and this is also my first time in several years to do something on a computer. and not my phone#I have yet to invest in any sort of shitty tablet so this is a bit stiffer than i would like but its fine!#I've been for lack of a better word '2018-maxxing' because i managed to get back into mob at the same im back on bandori.#its great. probably#But yeah i dont know how mp100 re-entered my brain it just happens like that sometimes.#This has all reminded me awfully of how formative ritsu was for middle school me .#funny thing i remembered is spending several history classes drawing ritshou. fun times#also caption is completely a lie the average hobbyani protagonist is significantly worse than ritsu but shhhhhh#also how the hell do people come up with backgrounds. i just put colors there because i think theyre cool. if it works it works.#someday I'm going to make myself learn actual composition techniques and anatomy and literally every other art basic
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Like. The last thing I'm going to say is that I see a lot of comments about how "Well Americans probably deserve whatever is coming to them" because [some variation of how we are all equally violent and stupid and of course we elected this guy] and I will be the FIRST one to go, "Fuck America for real, I hate it here" but. There are in fact millions of people who did not want this. Who actively fought against it and will continue to do so.
BELIEVE ME, I understand the impulse to go, "Well with all the shit America has done to the rest of the world, why should I feel bad for them." I understand that compassion fatigue is real. And I DEFINITELY don't think it's the rest of the world's job to fight my battles for me or prioritize my feelings above anyone else's.
But if people are worried for their safety. If they're scared. If they're wondering how they and the people they love are going to survive the next few years. If people are feeling despair and despondence over the fact that they are stuck in an absolutely hellish landscape they did not ask for. Just...please let them have that. You don't have to tell them that you think they deserve it.
#us politics#I just think that every vulnerable person who tried to prevent this probably would not in any way benefit or become a better person from#hearing 'you are acceptable collateral damage of the upcoming administration because America Sucks'#like my dudes I am not even asking you to HELP ME I know we all need to put on our own oxygen masks first. I am just asking you to have#a little bit of sympathy for the people who are about to go through an INCREDIBLE amount of struggle that they will have limited#individual power to fight against.#it's not hopeless! it's not! but this isn't like sw episode 4 where a single person can destroy the death star and the entire empire will#be directly and significantly kneecapped. there is only so much in this real world situation that one individual person can do.#a lot of people are going to have a harder time finding other people to connect with to get through this. all I'm asking is that you#do NOT make it harder on them by telling them their misfortune is brought on themselves for things they didn't do. or by telling them that#there is no way they can ever be happy or fulfilled or a good person.#there is NOTHING a person can do to 'deserve' the extreme loss of human rights that this party wants to make into a reality#if you believe that someone CAN ever 'deserve' the loss of those rights...#well I think that you and I are so fundamentally different in an ideological sense that there's no point in us speaking to each other
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(so... uh... how far into dai do you have to get before it starts being good?)
#i thought da2 was worse than dao in almost every way#repetitive undetailed environments boring combat less player influence over the story less customization of the player character etc.#but it had one shining redeeming quality#and that was the characters#who i actually cared about more than the characters in dao#and lucky for da2 characters are the most important aspect of a game (for me at least)#and good characters can carry an otherwise mediocre game pretty damn far#but i have yet to find the redeeming quality of dai#i mean... it's pretty i guess? though i still needed mods to make a character that looks decent bc the character creator was lacking#but the environment is pretty and detailed i will give it that#but i've been at this eight hours and almost every quest is just go get an item and then go bring it to someone?#there's really minimal story to these quests#and the characters seem interesting but i've barely had opportunities to talk to them#even the ambient party dialogue seems significantly rarer than it was in either dao or da2#why should i care about people i'm not getting to know?#also do they really just go with 'templars and mages are both equally evil & crazy and we're gonna need to just kill all of them you see'#surely that can't be the whole conclusion to the templar-mage war?? there has to be more right??#i'll keep playing bc hopefully it gets better#to be fair i didn't actually like da2 until act 2#i liked dao right away but it still took a bit to get really good#so i think there's still potential here#we will see i suppose#dragon age#dai#dragon age critical
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The options with the * are the ones I've already scanned, and all but the blorbo are sewing patterns (I've already shared the blorbo sewing pattern)
#I need to go back and check if I've actually shared that cat pattern#and the octopus pattern. I think I shared that? I do not remember#I seem to be doing better with the anemia tiredness#but then I had a stress-related flare up of my various health issues#handled the first one okay but the next day had a significantly worse stress#found out if I get stressed enough two days in a row while on long term steroids#I can crash really hard before it's time for my evening dose of steroids#I have learned better! I know now that if I start shaking badly and it's not low blood sugar it's 'take the next dose a little early' time#and I knew stress doses of steroids were a thing! I just though they were for physical stressors#despite me also knowing emotional stress can be an allergy trigger for me (yes I know that doesn't make sense)#(blame mast cell dysfunction)#it was only like an hour early and I have previously talked to my endocrinologist about stress doses#I just did not put two and two together lol#I'm okay now I'm just recovering and slowly hand quilting that baby quilt
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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" i can't think of any characters who inspired my portrayal of chiyo " wrong!! h.ideyoshi n.agachika... dok-mi from flower boy next door... sophie hatter... and i swear there's at least one more! and i have to be honest and say that it's been so long since i've watched 2/3 of these media, so take these as vague inspirations -- like hide's loyalty and devotion to his best friend?? such a chiyo thing, but i don't remember his personality nor story enough to say much on that.
dok-mi's struggle with the people and world around her, being too scared to reach for happiness out of fear that it'll disappear ( " happiness being like a bubble " ), is also such a chiyo thing... that one i'm actually pretty confident about bc her story has been character inspo for actual years of my portrayal despite my terrible memory.
even sophie's negative self perception, too, is such a chiyo thing ( not believing she's beautiful or remarkable, and the curse being essentially an outward reflection of her self esteem ) as well as that acceptance of it. " this is how things are, but it's fine. being an old woman suits me. " yet that doesn't mean she isn't frustrated or hurt! there's a time when she blows up! when she cries and lets it out! and when it comes to saving someone she loves, she'll risk it all. truly sophie might be the strongest chiyo inspiration? and i just never sat down and thoroughly thought about it.
i dunno what to do with this information tbh but i'm thinking about it uvu
#and dok-mi's story with the li -- the focus on ' maybe you can't change the world but you can change one person's '#and talking about being patient and showing that person little by little how wonderful it is to live#i'm majorly paraphrasing bc it's been ages but the theme is there and i think that really really stuck with me#especially bc the focus of chiyo's story for a long time has been how others can so significantly affect her growth#she doesn't become better without other people there to help her#not because she isn't strong -- but we can't always be strong on our own can we? sometimes we need help#we get to a certain part in our journey where everything is so much harder and its our loved ones who help us#get over those hills#ANYWAY...... EMOTIONAL ON MAIN AGAIN OFC OFC#i sit before flowers & hope they will train me in the art of opening up | headcanons#going in this tag bc i don't wanna lose it asdf#also you have yasu to thank for this bc she reminded me tokyo ghoul exists :' )))))
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sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?
#x: axel talks#idk man maybe I'm sick of looking for fandom stuff and seeing people complaining about this and that is so bad and awful and stupid and lik#you don't have to like it. but maybe you'd have a better time if you weren't going into it trying to judge if it's 'good' or not idk#was this movie good? idk but I had a good time! you know?#'wow this comic run is so out of character what garbage' ok it's ooc. I'll keep that in mind. might still be fun tho#you know?????#tbh I'm not saying don't do this ever. I just think it's worth trying out the idea of oh it's kinda bad. keep going anyway#maybe it doesn't do anything for you or maybe you get a good time out of it. idk#but my entertainment experience improved significantly when I started to just. accept that sometimes a story will do thinks in a way#that I think would have been better a different way but this isn't that and that doesn't mean I can't get anything out of this the way it i
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Nielle de Fumeterre, or as I like to call him, Hélianthe being a fucking liar.
#digital art#digital painting#art#vampire#fantasy art#oc art#my art#hélianthe et atropa#he's supposed to have brown eyes when impoersonating Nielle but shhhhhhhhh i wanted to draw him with his normal eye color#anyway i'm going to hunt him for sport anyone want to come ?#i'm putting this in the tags bc i don't like writing negative things about my art but : that process was VERY frustrating when i had to#add the colors#so i probably won't try that painting method again.... ?#i don't particularly feels like it's gaining anything from the usual way i do it#if it had been significantly faster i wouldve shrugged and said eh i'll get better at the color thing and be less frustrated with time#but rn i think it's about the same time as how i usually do it so#shrugs!
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.
#im not vagueing anyone specific so if u think this is abt you don't get your underwear twisted okay this is about like. so many ppl.#but it's so fucking frustrating seeing people i know (friends/family/coworkers/etc) going thru so much mental health struggle#often accompanied by physical health issues like weight/skin/pain problems#and knowing their diet is absolutely dogtrash#and trying to come up with a way to tell them that is nice but will maybe get them to think or change their ways#i know i know. you can lead a horse to water and all but it's just fucking agonizing knowing that people are suffering so needlessly#and it would go away if they just put the right food in their bodies#and no this isn't even an injunction to carnivore you can recover significantly with meat-heavy noncarnivore ketogenic diets#but people are so resistant to the idea that they can eat their way out of mental illness even though this is well documented#it just makes me want to rip my hair out that people would really rather stay the same than try something that could make them better#like i really can't fucking relate the whole reason i ended up a carnivore is because i was so *desperate* to be healthy#and trying something for a month just to see sounds so much better than letting everything get worse until i'm literally dying#but then i see so many sick people with garbage diets just completely resist the suggestion that the solution could possibly be so simple#like what more can i do for you? i dont want you to be sick. YOU dont want you to be sick. what do you lose from just trying??#ugh i cant. im so. i know this is going to be my career path but god fucking damn if it isn't infuriating
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to a certain degree i don't think there is such a thing as purely internalized and internally directed bias. i don't think directing bias at yourself is morally much better than directing it at others it's just a lot harder to stop. that said, as soon as your self cruelty begins to affect anyone else it's just cruelty. a gay man being homophobic is not any more justifiable than a heterosexual man. then again, maybe this entire way of thinking shows a lack of compassion for myself and is a form of bias.
#Idk I'm being mean to myself about capacity and ability stuff.#I'm. Very aware I still hold a lot of ableism. I really really try treating others with kindness and like noticing when something is an#Ableist impulse and seeing it looking at it and letting it go. And I think I usually do a good job. I do. But it's so much harder when it's#It's me and there's no other expert on my experience and my normality than me and I just don't trust me to. Actually know what's going on#Idk I think ableism is the most active unlearning I'm having to do. With both racism and queerphobia it was very gradual#Fatphobia I feel like i never really like. Took in. Idk why and obviously there's some just straight up misinformation that I'm correcting#But that's all so different#Learning about ableism was such a huge thing for me and it helped me let go of so much self loathing and all that all at once#And to also just be kinder to the people in my life. Like significantly. I think I'd be an absolute pos if not for the autistic community#But like. I feel like I've hit a plateau and there's just. Part of this belief system that's just. My character at this point and I don't#I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over it and I think it makes me a bad person or at least a worse person like. In an unfixable wa#Maybe I need to think of myself like the world. Where I don't think an ideal utopia can be built but that just means we have to keep trying#And get as close as possible and watch all the lik e easy fail points carefully and mend and repair.#Like part of the reason I could let go of self hate is just that I genuinely became a significantly better person#Not just the internalized ableism part but the external butt they're the same kind of anyways right#Idek it's 1am
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honestly at the point where i'm considering spending money on flight rising but i'm very very hesitant to let myself get into the habit of In App Purchases even in a game that's not particularly predatory about it
#like as far as web games with premium currency go i think fr is pretty good about making it actually optional instead of pretend optional#but i'm still wary because i think my specific combination of issues puts me at significantly higher risk of getting addicted to stuff#hence why i avoid things like caffeine and gacha games and drugs/alcohol like the fucking plague. better safe than sorry y'know#but maaaaan i have a lot of projects in the works that i need gem items to perfect lmao#and as opposed to almost every other facet of my online experience i actually respect flight rising instead of only begrudgingly using it#so like i wouldn't feel bad about dropping 20-30 dollars on funny dragon game but i really don't want to risk it becoming a habit is all#anyway enough of that anxious overthinking shit lol. do any of you play flight rising do you wanna see my dragons
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I don't like BSD I'm sorry if I'm putting myself through the little sister bullshit I'm doing it for a VN that does something interesting not for a basic shounen anime with a mafia aesthetic and some questionable literary references.
#my posts#dazai wanting to kill himself is really funny until you look up the guy he's named after#and like I could've tolerated it in a better anime but definitely not a basic shounen anime with a mafia aesthetic#''it gets better in season 2'' the VNs with little sister bullshit that I put myself through give me something good to latch onto#before I have to confront the little sister bullshit#like akiha's route is the third one in tsukihime and uh...#actually let's be real subahibi got significantly worse after it made its little sister bullshit apparent#and it's not specifically because of the little sister bullshit let me be clear but I do consider it a symptom#honestly the issues are kinda baked into the rest of the story but at least you can theoretically get to a better conclusion#without any edits to stuff before the second half of jabberwocky I#after that I think there need to be real structural edits like you can keep some of the content#but oh god please give hasaki some narrative agency in her own fucking POV and maybe give tomosane narrative agency in his POV#that doesn't ultimately boil down to what girl he fucks#zakuro's pov has a choice that is ultimately between ''click here for epic lesbian ending'' and ''click here for trauma''#but the choice is between her thinking about what she should do about her situation and her just going back to her classroom sadly#which reflects how her epic lesbian ending happens as a result of zakuro not falling into helplessness#meanwhile tomosane's choices only really seem to say ''the choice you make will lead you to the route you don't expect it to I guess''#and you have to complete the other two routes first before you can even unlock the choice that would lead to an ending where he rejects#companionship even though the theme of his POV is that he should accept his own connections and not resign to his presumed fate of disappea#oh yeah that theme also goes out the window because the ''good'' endings of the game decide to fix all that by revealing that#he was the ''true personality'' all along and implying that being a system is a barrier to a super happy ending#you know what this has turned into a tangent but I'm keeping it here because now I wanna make a post on an alt about it later#and I wanna use it for reference#point is why put myself through a mid shounen anime with normal mid anime problems when I can get psychological damage from something inter
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ok note to self: hours+ of drawing 2 days in a row is not your wrists' favorite thing, maybe take this into account when entering the Vision-Inspired Art Fugue State next time
#this post brought to you by#the sound my wrist just made when i rolled it around to stretch#like i knew it was going to pop it always makes a sound#just not normally nearly-gunshot levels#well i say that#but i do in fact mean it for my wrists specifically yes they're loud but they're not like that!#that's normally reserved for my hips!#anyway it feels significantly better now so whatever it was the loud pop fixed it#the wrist situation (the wristuation if you will) probably not helped by the painting activity we participated in last night with the fambl#cause of all the wrist needed to use a paintbrush#but! i had a good time and that's the important part#i also had fun with the drawing thing that was divinely inspired (heh) (iykyk) (it's a dragon age reference) (now yk)#it just also took a lot longer than punkins on a wooden coffin did#cause that was pretty quick which now that i'm thinking about it was definitely a good thing because it means less time using the paintbrus#which i'll reiterate probably did no good things for my wrist#the downside to all of this - mind - is that i am currently battling needing to get back into the art fugue state#there's stuff i wanna fix with the thing it's not *quite* done-done but like it was done enough to say ''i gotta stop'' about it#so like i desperately wanna get back and make it the Best It Could Be#and *also* am having New Visions and want to practice techniques so i can best accomplish those but like#i *gotta* let my wrist rest#and also i'm trying to avoid burning out on art so i can keep up with it consistently again#wml lol
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