#I think I'm getting significantly better as I go | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rawliverandgoronspice · 4 months ago

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(sorry I'm not super here at the moment because I'm just incredibly exhausted for no apparent reason, but I do make tiny frustrating steps towards doing more stuff!!)

#thoughts #trying to balance the “being in vacation to sleep forever” VS “being in vacation to actually do my own stuff for a change”#I wish you'd sleep in pocket dimensions that would slow down time #also also I'm soooo excited for the current scene in thralls #it's the OoT Kneeling/show of fealty one!! and it's everything I hoped for honestly #it's long tho it's like 5'20 so it's taking me some time #but I'm seeing the finish line #if I could gather enough energy tomorrow and monday to lock it down it would be really neat #then I'll share some screenshots because I have some cool ones in this scene!!#I think I'm getting significantly better as I go #which is starting to be a problem for the earlier scenes.....#the never ending cycle :((((

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kuromi-hoemie · 3 months ago

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“if she doesn't want to be called dude i won't call her that” - you are assuming you and your friends read as people trans women feel safe enough to speak up to, while already demonstrating you don't take other people seriously enough.

Your habit and lack of self restraint/awareness matter more than common sense i guess. Like i would never call a transmasc “girl” because that would seem like obvious misgendering, but it's different for trans women apparently.

#see now #as a black person dealing w white people bullshit i understand the hesitation to Speak Up when u are the minority in the room #it's a roll of the dice and you never know how it's gonna go. will they listen? will they double down? will everyone turn against you?#every person you need to confront has the potential to blow up on you and for the situation to get blown out of proportion #but in a way that goes back to it being your fault for speaking up and ruining everything to begin with.#and when i see y'all say shit like “well im gonna keep calling trans women dudes unless they specifically ask me to stop”#i always think about that in comparison. y'all are putting trans women in this position over and over again and acting like #there isn't a glaring power dynamic that would reasonably make a lot of trans women choose to bite their tongues and #take it especially IRL. the thing too is i don't even mind it Myself but the way that y'all insist on doing it despite so many #trans women asking you not to repeatedly is so 😐 the power dynamic thing seemed obvious to me but maybe most of #y'all in the “dude is gender neutral camp” are white lol. y'all REALLY need to do better #lol now I'm thinking more about my irl experience and maybe it's been significantly less annoying bc i surround myself w poc

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corpocyborg · 3 days ago

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(so... uh... how far into dai do you have to get before it starts being good?)

#i thought da2 was worse than dao in almost every way #repetitive undetailed environments boring combat less player influence over the story less customization of the player character etc.#but it had one shining redeeming quality #and that was the characters #who i actually cared about more than the characters in dao #and lucky for da2 characters are the most important aspect of a game (for me at least)#and good characters can carry an otherwise mediocre game pretty damn far #but i have yet to find the redeeming quality of dai #i mean... it's pretty i guess? though i still needed mods to make a character that looks decent bc the character creator was lacking #but the environment is pretty and detailed i will give it that #but i've been at this eight hours and almost every quest is just go get an item and then go bring it to someone?#there's really minimal story to these quests #and the characters seem interesting but i've barely had opportunities to talk to them #even the ambient party dialogue seems significantly rarer than it was in either dao or da2 #why should i care about people i'm not getting to know?#also do they really just go with 'templars and mages are both equally evil & crazy and we're gonna need to just kill all of them you see'#surely that can't be the whole conclusion to the templar-mage war?? there has to be more right??#i'll keep playing bc hopefully it gets better #to be fair i didn't actually like da2 until act 2 #i liked dao right away but it still took a bit to get really good #so i think there's still potential here #we will see i suppose #dragon age #dai #dragon age critical

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musical-chick-13 · 13 days ago

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Like. The last thing I'm going to say is that I see a lot of comments about how "Well Americans probably deserve whatever is coming to them" because [some variation of how we are all equally violent and stupid and of course we elected this guy] and I will be the FIRST one to go, "Fuck America for real, I hate it here" but. There are in fact millions of people who did not want this. Who actively fought against it and will continue to do so.

BELIEVE ME, I understand the impulse to go, "Well with all the shit America has done to the rest of the world, why should I feel bad for them." I understand that compassion fatigue is real. And I DEFINITELY don't think it's the rest of the world's job to fight my battles for me or prioritize my feelings above anyone else's.

But if people are worried for their safety. If they're scared. If they're wondering how they and the people they love are going to survive the next few years. If people are feeling despair and despondence over the fact that they are stuck in an absolutely hellish landscape they did not ask for. Just...please let them have that. You don't have to tell them that you think they deserve it.

#us politics #I just think that every vulnerable person who tried to prevent this probably would not in any way benefit or become a better person from #hearing 'you are acceptable collateral damage of the upcoming administration because America Sucks'#like my dudes I am not even asking you to HELP ME I know we all need to put on our own oxygen masks first. I am just asking you to have #a little bit of sympathy for the people who are about to go through an INCREDIBLE amount of struggle that they will have limited #individual power to fight against.#it's not hopeless! it's not! but this isn't like sw episode 4 where a single person can destroy the death star and the entire empire will #be directly and significantly kneecapped. there is only so much in this real world situation that one individual person can do.#a lot of people are going to have a harder time finding other people to connect with to get through this. all I'm asking is that you #do NOT make it harder on them by telling them their misfortune is brought on themselves for things they didn't do. or by telling them that #there is no way they can ever be happy or fulfilled or a good person.#there is NOTHING a person can do to 'deserve' the extreme loss of human rights that this party wants to make into a reality #if you believe that someone CAN ever 'deserve' the loss of those rights...#well I think that you and I are so fundamentally different in an ideological sense that there's no point in us speaking to each other

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tj-crochets · 10 months ago

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The options with the * are the ones I've already scanned, and all but the blorbo are sewing patterns (I've already shared the blorbo sewing pattern)

#I need to go back and check if I've actually shared that cat pattern #and the octopus pattern. I think I shared that? I do not remember #I seem to be doing better with the anemia tiredness #but then I had a stress-related flare up of my various health issues #handled the first one okay but the next day had a significantly worse stress #found out if I get stressed enough two days in a row while on long term steroids #I can crash really hard before it's time for my evening dose of steroids #I have learned better! I know now that if I start shaking badly and it's not low blood sugar it's 'take the next dose a little early' time #and I knew stress doses of steroids were a thing! I just though they were for physical stressors #despite me also knowing emotional stress can be an allergy trigger for me (yes I know that doesn't make sense)#(blame mast cell dysfunction)#it was only like an hour early and I have previously talked to my endocrinologist about stress doses #I just did not put two and two together lol #I'm okay now I'm just recovering and slowly hand quilting that baby quilt

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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 3 months ago

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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier

#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it #like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point #i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child #so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg #and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me #i think this would be easier with a partner #this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough #unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american #i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled #i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything #(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works #cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted #i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift #by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook #indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable #and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least #i wish i was less pickyyy #sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food #i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish #and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying

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chaddicus · 1 year ago

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sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?

#x: axel talks #idk man maybe I'm sick of looking for fandom stuff and seeing people complaining about this and that is so bad and awful and stupid and lik #you don't have to like it. but maybe you'd have a better time if you weren't going into it trying to judge if it's 'good' or not idk #was this movie good? idk but I had a good time! you know?#'wow this comic run is so out of character what garbage' ok it's ooc. I'll keep that in mind. might still be fun tho #you know?????#tbh I'm not saying don't do this ever. I just think it's worth trying out the idea of oh it's kinda bad. keep going anyway #maybe it doesn't do anything for you or maybe you get a good time out of it. idk #but my entertainment experience improved significantly when I started to just. accept that sometimes a story will do thinks in a way #that I think would have been better a different way but this isn't that and that doesn't mean I can't get anything out of this the way it i

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drawnecromancy · 1 year ago

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Nielle de Fumeterre, or as I like to call him, Hélianthe being a fucking liar.

#digital art #digital painting #art #vampire #fantasy art #oc art #my art #hélianthe et atropa #he's supposed to have brown eyes when impoersonating Nielle but shhhhhhhhh i wanted to draw him with his normal eye color #anyway i'm going to hunt him for sport anyone want to come ?#i'm putting this in the tags bc i don't like writing negative things about my art but : that process was VERY frustrating when i had to #add the colors #so i probably won't try that painting method again.... ?#i don't particularly feels like it's gaining anything from the usual way i do it #if it had been significantly faster i wouldve shrugged and said eh i'll get better at the color thing and be less frustrated with time #but rn i think it's about the same time as how i usually do it so #shrugs!

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hawkeyedflame · 2 years ago

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#im not vagueing anyone specific so if u think this is abt you don't get your underwear twisted okay this is about like. so many ppl.#but it's so fucking frustrating seeing people i know (friends/family/coworkers/etc) going thru so much mental health struggle #often accompanied by physical health issues like weight/skin/pain problems #and knowing their diet is absolutely dogtrash #and trying to come up with a way to tell them that is nice but will maybe get them to think or change their ways #i know i know. you can lead a horse to water and all but it's just fucking agonizing knowing that people are suffering so needlessly #and it would go away if they just put the right food in their bodies #and no this isn't even an injunction to carnivore you can recover significantly with meat-heavy noncarnivore ketogenic diets #but people are so resistant to the idea that they can eat their way out of mental illness even though this is well documented #it just makes me want to rip my hair out that people would really rather stay the same than try something that could make them better #like i really can't fucking relate the whole reason i ended up a carnivore is because i was so *desperate* to be healthy #and trying something for a month just to see sounds so much better than letting everything get worse until i'm literally dying #but then i see so many sick people with garbage diets just completely resist the suggestion that the solution could possibly be so simple #like what more can i do for you? i dont want you to be sick. YOU dont want you to be sick. what do you lose from just trying??#ugh i cant. im so. i know this is going to be my career path but god fucking damn if it isn't infuriating

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doppelnatur · 1 year ago

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to a certain degree i don't think there is such a thing as purely internalized and internally directed bias. i don't think directing bias at yourself is morally much better than directing it at others it's just a lot harder to stop. that said, as soon as your self cruelty begins to affect anyone else it's just cruelty. a gay man being homophobic is not any more justifiable than a heterosexual man. then again, maybe this entire way of thinking shows a lack of compassion for myself and is a form of bias.

#Idk I'm being mean to myself about capacity and ability stuff.#I'm. Very aware I still hold a lot of ableism. I really really try treating others with kindness and like noticing when something is an #Ableist impulse and seeing it looking at it and letting it go. And I think I usually do a good job. I do. But it's so much harder when it's #It's me and there's no other expert on my experience and my normality than me and I just don't trust me to. Actually know what's going on #Idk I think ableism is the most active unlearning I'm having to do. With both racism and queerphobia it was very gradual #Fatphobia I feel like i never really like. Took in. Idk why and obviously there's some just straight up misinformation that I'm correcting #But that's all so different #Learning about ableism was such a huge thing for me and it helped me let go of so much self loathing and all that all at once #And to also just be kinder to the people in my life. Like significantly. I think I'd be an absolute pos if not for the autistic community #But like. I feel like I've hit a plateau and there's just. Part of this belief system that's just. My character at this point and I don't #I don't know that I'll ever be able to get over it and I think it makes me a bad person or at least a worse person like. In an unfixable wa #Maybe I need to think of myself like the world. Where I don't think an ideal utopia can be built but that just means we have to keep trying #And get as close as possible and watch all the lik e easy fail points carefully and mend and repair.#Like part of the reason I could let go of self hate is just that I genuinely became a significantly better person #Not just the internalized ableism part but the external butt they're the same kind of anyways right #Idek it's 1am

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doedipus · 2 years ago

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2022 eat my ass

also preemptive 2023 eat my ass

#around this time a year ago I remember thinking #man if I have to go through another year of this shit I'm legit not going to make it #but lo and behold despite this being far and away the hardest year to get through for reasons I couldn't fathom back then #somehow I'm still out here fighting off the suicidal spells and doing my silly little activities #so I guess if nothing else my tolerance for suffering is significantly better than I had previously assumed #I could really use some hope this year though

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zosonils · 1 year ago

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honestly at the point where i'm considering spending money on flight rising but i'm very very hesitant to let myself get into the habit of In App Purchases even in a game that's not particularly predatory about it

#like as far as web games with premium currency go i think fr is pretty good about making it actually optional instead of pretend optional #but i'm still wary because i think my specific combination of issues puts me at significantly higher risk of getting addicted to stuff #hence why i avoid things like caffeine and gacha games and drugs/alcohol like the fucking plague. better safe than sorry y'know #but maaaaan i have a lot of projects in the works that i need gem items to perfect lmao #and as opposed to almost every other facet of my online experience i actually respect flight rising instead of only begrudgingly using it #so like i wouldn't feel bad about dropping 20-30 dollars on funny dragon game but i really don't want to risk it becoming a habit is all #anyway enough of that anxious overthinking shit lol. do any of you play flight rising do you wanna see my dragons

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dredshirtroberts · 22 days ago

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ok note to self: hours+ of drawing 2 days in a row is not your wrists' favorite thing, maybe take this into account when entering the Vision-Inspired Art Fugue State next time