#I think I'm back in the swing of things

[katabay]

earlier this year I started writing a comic about the siege perilous-grail quest situation after finally finishing the didot perceval, and it started circling around kay and perceval. kay as gatekeeper, taboo anxiety vs chivalry, and perceval not doing things "correctly," arthur's enduring affection for kay. that general area. also the horror of the grail quest itself.

this is comic is part of that narrative arc, so with THAT in mind: this is an abridged scene of a longer arc revolving around kay associating camelot with a cage, perceval's associations with jewelry and knighthood and the color red, and arthur's relationship with kay.

[some other scene context: perceval has injured his hand and can't participate in the tournaments, so he's craving some kind of fight. kay is disinterested in replying to this challenge, but he's not above reminding perceval of their first meeting. it's just mean enough in a weird-intimate kind of way that perceval's like, ok so we're doing the antagonistic version of court romance rituals. he picks up hunting because kay can't leave the castle.]

on the subtext of jewelry:

Clothes Make the Man: Parzival Dressed and Undressed, M.D. Amey

on the topic of kay, gatekeeping, and taboo anxiety:

Cei and the Arthurian Legend, Linda Gowans

the whole Red Knight/Perceval Shows Up In A Dead Man's Suit Of Armor transgression-situation (which kay references through red jewelry) mentioned is told in both de Troye's and Wolfram's Perceval narratives :)

anyway! to close out all this out: the transgressions. incredible! what is camelot but a bunch of transgressions stacked on top of each other tbh.

[mrsoharaa]

He tells himself that he was in no way infatuated with you what so ever. Not a bit. Has to constantly convince himself within his messy mindset that he was or is, no way obligated to willingly shun his looming presence with yours. None.

But how is it that he now finds himself nestled ever so comfortably in the softness of your cushioned couch. One arm toppled behind his head as the other pets gently, lazily along the prickling fur of your adorable pup resting on him. Eyes closed softly, as his mind now warps solely on you, from your beautiful beaming smile to the supple adorable giggles that swarm his cold heart. It astonishes him of how more frequent you come to his blundering mind, easing him from the overbearing stress that weighs down on him from the insisting impairment of protecting the multiverse.

And you, lurking just at the start of your hallway, lean against the solid wall beside you, cross your arms and smile giddily at the adorable sight bestowing before you. You'd carefully walk over to the two napping babies, bringing a cozy, thick throw over the snoozing companions embracing each others company.

You'd simply, delicately brush some of his gorgeous, thick loose strands of mahogany from his peaceful, stunning face. Thoroughly admiring every intricate, atoning detail that strung along the perfect structure of his restful face.

Absentmindedly, without any realization and lost into the sheer beauty his relaxed face had to offer — you could feel the supple tender of his warm, plush lips graze just ever so softly against the pad of you index finger. A low, inaudible gasp shimmies down the juncture of your throat, blinking rapidly, your eyes gaze down to the placement of your wandering fingertips. A feeble, radiating heat slowly absorbing into your plush cheeks. A low, rumbled chuckle bounces against the flush of your inquisitive digit, igniting a fervent pace of your puttering heart.

Your lashes flutter rapidly, dilated irises now met with a beautiful set of glossed carmine. A playful glint of soft coy and amusement clearly shining through those gorgeous, ruby globes. A gentle touch of his large hand wraps ever so carefully around your slim wrist, pushing his lips more intimately against the warm flesh of your tensed finger. His eyes never wavering from your stunned, embarrassed expression.

How cute.

His own long, thick fingers playing along the silky skin of your trembling wrist. Emits another amused chuckle, pressing another light kiss to your finger.

"You know it's rude to interrupt a mans sleep, cariño"

[natgoodmans]

books read in 2025 🤍

books read so far: 89 reading goal: 100

as always, askbox + dms are open if have any questions or would like to chat about books! you can find me on goodreads here, and on bookstagram here. 🤍

♡ indicates any new favorites; ⊹ indicates a reread.

january ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. writers & lovers by lily king 2. the art of memory collecting: 15 scrapbook, collage, trinket and zine projects for crafting treasured moments by martina calvi 3. tom lake by ann patchett (audiobook) ♡ 4. our town by thornton wilder ⊹ 5. beloved by toni morrisson 6. promise me sunshine by cara bastone (arc) ♡ 7. days at the morisaki bookshop by satoshi yagisawa & translated by eric ozawa ♡ 8. small things like these by claire keegan (audiobook) 9. beartown by fredrik backman ♡

february ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. the fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkien (audiobook) 2. i'll pretend you're mine by tashie bhuiyan (arc) 3. sense and sensibility by jane austen ⊹ (audiobook) 4. the lonely city: adventures in the art of being alone by olivia laing (audiobook) 5. everything i learned, i learned in a chinese restaurant by curtis chin (audiobook) 6. tiny moons: a year of eating in shanghai by nina mingya powles 7. sorcery of thorns by margaret rogerson (audiobook) ♡ 8. more days at the morisaki bookshop by satoshi yagisawa ♡ 9. mysteries of thorn manor by margaret rogerson

march ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. an enchantment of ravens by margaret rogerson (audiobook) 2. white ice: race and the making of atlanta hockey by thomas aiello 3. lost and lassoed by lyla sage 4. holy terrors by margaret owen (arc) 5. swift and saddled by lyla sage 6. circe by madeline miller (audiobook) 7. a dark and drowning tide by allison saft (audiobook) 8. intermezzo by sally rooney (audiobook) ⊹ 9. my side of the river by elizabeth camarillo gutierrez (audiobook) 10. four weekends and a funeral by ellie palmer ♡ 11. the bell jar by sylvia plath (audiobook) 12. the break-up pact by emma lord 13. love lettering by kate clayborn 14. the partner plot by kristina forest 15. the rom-commers by katherine center 16. emily wilde's compendium of lost tales by heather fawcett (audiobook) 17. dolls of our lives: why we can't quit american girl by mary mahoney & allison horrocks (audiobook)

april ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. you between the lines by katie naymon 2. my not so perfect life by sophie kinsella 3. a quantum love story by mike chen (audiobook) 4. the siren of sussex by mimi matthews 5. the love wager by lynn painter (audiobook) 6. you belong with me by mhairi mcfarlane (audiobook) 7. puck and prejudice by lia riley 8. swept away by beth o'leary 9. great big beautiful life by emily henry (arc) 10. second first impressions by sally thorne (audiobook) 11. i who have never known men by jacqueline harpman ♡ 12. the belle of belgrave square by mimi matthews 13. the kiss countdown by etta easton 14. lovelight farms by b.k. borison 15. the wedding people by alison espach (audiobook) 16. the ex vows by jessica joyce 17. deep cuts by holly brickley 18. remember me? by sophie kinsella 19. here we go again by alison cochrun (audiobook) 20. the most wonderful crime of the year by ally carter (audiobook) 21. mistakes we never made by hannah brown 22. when you least expect it by haley cass (audiobook) 23. pitcher perfect by tessa bailey (arc) 24. the next chapters: an on the same page novella by haley cass (audiobook) 25. on the same page by haley cass 26. it happened one fight by maureen lee lenker 27. hello stranger by katherine center 28. ps: i hate you by lauren connolly 29. the rose bargain by sasha peyton smith (audiobook) 30. out on a limb by hannah bonam-young 31. make the season bright by ashley herring blake (audiobook) 32. flirting with disaster by naina kumar 33. first-time caller by b.k. borison 34. welcome to the hyunam-dong bookshop by hwang bo-reum, shanna tan (translator) 35. funny story by emily henry ⊹ 36. the guest cat by takashi hiraide, eric selland (translator)

may ⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

1. evenings and weekends by oisín mckenna (audiobook) 2. the dragon's promise by elizabeth lim (audiobook) 3. the examiner by janice hallett 4. i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki by baek se-hee, anton hur (translator) 5. the manor of dreams by christina li (arc) 6. lonely castle in the mirror by mizuki tsujimura (audiobook) ♡ 7. john proctor is the villain by kimberly belflower ♡ 8. the crucible by arthur miller, christopher w.e. bigsby (audiobook) ⊹ 9. in a not so perfect world by neely tubati alexander (audiobook) 10. the vanished birds by simon jimenez 11. time is a mother by ocean vuong 12. promise me sunshine by cara bastone ⊹ 13. straight white men / untitled feminist show by young jean lee 14. before we forget kindness by toshikazu kawaguchi, geoffrey trousselot 15. passion project by london sperry 16. the killer question by janice hallett (arc) 17. the cat who saved books by sōsuke natsukawa, louise heal kawai 18. bibliophobia: a memoir by sarah chihaya (audiobook)

[aethersea]

normally I don't bother questioning when a high fantasy is all "ooh the prophesied one will break the world or save it" bc that's what high fantasy is for. don't worry about it, focus on the journey, we'll get to the prophecy when we get to it. but this show has got me wondering what that even means.

the innkeeper who served the Dark said that the Dragon could break the Wheel so that there would be no more suffering, no war or famine or poverty. and the Wheel, we have been told many times, is the Wheel of reincarnation and of fate. It's the metaphor for how all of history has a cyclical bent to it, and it's a real religious belief that souls return to the world many times to live many lives.

how do you break that Wheel such that there is no more suffering? you can't bring about a perfect utopia by breaking such a Wheel. the two concepts just aren't connected at all. the only way I can see is to just......end everything. to live is to suffer, right? there's no suffering if everyone is dead.

kind of a defeatist cause to pledge yourself to, really.

[divvy-div-art]

fortnite duos can really give you whiplash

[rustyrailways]

Oh I need to manhandle his waist into next week.

[hangingslothcentral]

I feel like my crowdfunder ended and I immediately retreated into The Pit. I am alive in here I've just been writing a huge amount of vampires and also editing a novel and it's been nice to have a bit of distance after spending the whole of the crowdfunder very Out There, but I'll be back next week with Enthusiasm. Hopefully.

[fastcardotmp3]

watcha reading?

here we go! I went a long stretch where I wasn't reading much fic at all but I've been catching up lately (the past week fjdkslj) (I've been tagged in this a couple times I think but I can't recall by who I've just had this draft in progress for a while I'm SORRY :/ )

Anyway, It's About Old Friends by @fragilecapric0rnn - endlessly complex and such a feast of character dynamics and the way they shift and change and grow over time, I cannot recommend this one enough, it's the post-UD When Harry Met Sally AU that you NEED in your life

god has never loved a woman the way I do by @judasofsuburbia - the second part in a wild west au series that is so full and real and unbelievably tender that I simply don't know what to do with myself about it. For both parts (Steddie pt. 1 and Ronance pt. 2) there is so much beautiful rumination on the nature of choice for these people and the simultaneous risk and worthiness of choosing each other like. help me???

and they were roommates by @yournowheregirl - I've only read the first part in this series but I can't wait to dive further into it. Ronance finding that no matter how nervous they were to actually go after each other there is actually so much natural simplicity to touching and feeling and kissing and!!!! joyful PWP for the girls it's what they deserve

never made it to graceland by @cheatghost - beautifully, gorgeously, perpetually ominous first chapter with such perfect Eddie-isms and Munson Family Moments and prose, just the first chapter alone has me feeling deeply fulfilled while still so ready for more. I am a lover of "the world ended but we're still here" and this is already giving me that in DROVES please join me in scratching at the walls about it

I Look to You to See the Truth by @sharpbutsoft the Erica Sinclair coming of age in her freshman year of college-slash- lesbian self discovery story of my DREAMS featuring your favorite idiot4idiot steddie and dearest robin and overall what a delight from start to finish

P.S. if you read and enjoy any of these, spread the love by letting the authors know! the community of fandom thrives when we talk to each other 💜

open tag for anyone who wants to join in on this! say I tagged you and share your newest faves with us, I wanna see 'em!

[little-bumblebeeee]

Eddie isn't the type to ask what someone is listening to. If they have earbuds in, he'll just pluck one out and put it into his own ear to see.

He stopped that after he took Steve's headphones, thinking it was some pop or Taylor Swift or even music that Eddie would be into.

Turns out Steve does not listen to that stuff

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Can't wait to tell my therapist that within the week I'm quitting my job, leaving my apartment, traveling across the country for training and then immediately going back to summer camp. She definitely won't think I'm manic.

[lilflowerpot]

Hi! Hope ur well, just wondering how the galra would feel about ivf and surrogate mothers and such things.

Also, would diabazaal have had any other religious groups or did they have one decided belief

I've actually addressed both Imperial surrogacy, and the Empire's major religious groups (along with a follow-up regarding various funerary rites) before!

I know my blog has rather a lot to comb through at this point, but for those of you not in the know, I //am// a meticulous tagger, so you can notably narrow down my posts to just the worldbuilding ones if you take a gander at #galra history & culture!

[unopenablebox]

the thing is though that i actually don't think it was immoral for me to buy the yarn i used to make the yellow shawl because that thing is so heartbreakingly beautiful and perfect that it justifies itself. it is a moral good that i got the yarn i did to make that thing so that it could be the best version of itself instead of a worse version that would have been less silky or less beautifully draped or less luminous in color

[flaming-toads]

.

[littleoddwriter]

desperately need The Batman Part II's main villain to be Roman Sionis/Black Mask, please. I'm on my hands and knees, begging for it

[galacticdoodles]

hi hello I am INSANE over the hc/theory that Doomed!Svetla deals with some MAD chronic pain (and other medical issues that she has never really looked into because why would you when you're only trying to survive and plot evil things)

AND I HAVE NOTES TO BACK THAT SHIT UP

By no means am I a medical professional/expert, I'm just a bitch with chronic pain projecting onto this little trencher and going solely off of scars/thoughts on her life for the last few thousand years

Before diving into her scars I'd like to go more into her environment/upbringing and how that could have a major impact on her current physical abilities

By no means is this canon, this is my rat brain being a rat and biting the bars of my cage (very excited for Zagreus and the Titans if you couldn't tell)

First up I want to get more into how she had to raise herself for literally THOUSANDS OF YEARS

Also important to note that YES, while she is 20% hexcore biomatter AND a born mage, she's still 80% human, and that pesky 80% has a lot to say about how she's been living her life

General living/diet

It's very clear that she's malnourished/not eating a balanced diet whatsoever.

Just a few examples of what can happen due to malnutrition, it's pretty obvious why when she's in her human form that magic is her biggest advantage. Otherwise it'd be like fighting a wiry skeleton. Not only that, she's got her big bird size which is more fit for combat/travel

Judging by her physical appearance, there's clear muscle/weight loss, the growth stunt could also be a possible effect (or she's just the short mage that everybody hates lol)

A few more things to tack on here would be the fact if she didn't use magic to heal herself, there would be a significantly longer healing time for any injuries she has, leaving them more susceptible to infection if not treated properly (which they never really were, so it was either leave them to be infected or take care of them with magic)

While being 20% Hexcore could leave her immune to a few things/less affected by, they will still find a way to leave their mark...

Her diet seems to mainly consist on whatever she can hunt/forage, however it clearly was not consistent/stable enough to stay a proper diet, leading to malnutrition.

Overall, it's safe to say that if she didn't have her Herald form or the arcane to back her up, she'd be left as someone who is skin and bones with a lot of anger and a big smart brain.

Now onto her scars!!

(psssst art and character belong to @threeoffucks)

Definitely a lot going on here, so I'm gonna try and interpret them the best I can!!

Arms: obvious self harm going on here, a bad habit of skin picking (most likely a nervous habit/repeated action that could be a form of self soothing despite its harmful nature)

That plus the blast marks left from the Herald in Singularity (STILL HURTS TO THINK ABOUT BTW)

Overall just an eyesore for onlookers, BUT I do want to point out her elbows

Could be another form of skin picking that went too deep, OR could be similar to the knee injuries resulting in repeated abrasion, which could lead to a numbness or tingling, or overall weakened state in the elbows and making moving her arms difficult

Chest: DIY mastectomy (I AM SO GLAD YOU LOVE THE IDEA BTW RAGHHHHHH I LOVE TOP SURGERY SVETLA)

While incredibly badass she did that herself, also incredibly concerning as to recovery time- if there was any -and possible use of the arcane to just heal the wounds instantly

Because let's assume here that Doomed!Svetla does NOT have a medical degree and does not know jack shit about medicine and just went at it with whatever knife was available to her

This one we can say she used the power of the arcane to heal her wounds, leading to an instant recovery (but leaving ugly scars in its wake)

Stomach: now THIS one is interesting because it isn't just directly in the stomach, it's stretched to the sides, and going up towards her lower chest cavity and down her abdomen

TW for guts n stuff (scientific diagram nothing gorey)

It looks like she could have been stabbed in the intestines (by what and who??? No clue) or this could have been another one of the injuries she sustained from just general survival (though highly unlikely due to injury placement AND shape of the scar afterward)

Once again could possibly be another injury that was just miracled better, OR this could be a lasting scar from one of her "resets" (cause of "reset" could be abdominal trauma, severe damage to vital organs)

Knees: repeated abrasion

But what happens to an area of flesh that's subjected to repeated abrasion?

First off it's like

The skin just gets worn down due to continuous scrapes/rubbing, so it's wearing down the skin and it becomes easier to rip open, more likely to leave to infections and takes longer to heal

Unless you're Doomed!Svetla

Then it can be as easy as slapping a magic bandaid on it and BAM you're back

Again, this could just be another eyesore (although colorful), there's essentially just no skin left on those knees and it's just the arcane holding all that together (and spite, a lot of spite)

BUT

A side effect to such things could also lead to chronic pain in this area (especially in the knees, because it's like tattooing your knee, the layers of skin are thinner so it would be like tattooing your bones)

So there is a chance this girl could be suffering from chronic pain in her knees because of this repeated abrasion, because look at this

those knees are fucked and they got no meat to them

They are BEGGING to be put out of their misery

That's not even diving into how old she is, the repeated "resets" and what that could do to her physical body

Like imagine you're just walking around and then one day your fuckass knees decide they want to give out on you because they haven't known proper treatment in millennia

Me too knees, me too

Give her a cane this girl is tired

Nowwwwww onto my favorite part (and the most mysterious)

Back: I have no fucking clue what caused this, honestly this could range from some kind of self experimentation, to an attack from behind

Anything could have happened here

BUT

Looking at the scar, and how it spans out from not just her shoulder blades (muscle AND bone), but it also goes down most of her spine, but mainly the thoracic section of her spine

Because the main point of the damage seems to be on her spine, this could lead to a multitude of things, including (but not limited to):

back pain (general sharp pains/dull aches, worsened with movement)

numbness and tingling in arms and legs

muscle spasms and stiffness

difficulty breathing (because come on that's like real close to the lungs)

radiating pain (mainly in the chest cavity, spine, and arms but could also go down to her legs due to how far down the injury seems to go)

headaches (because it's also so close to her neck and head, there's a chance there could be frequent headaches she's been passing off as dehydration and sleep deprivation)

Now with all of that sciency stuff out of the way

now I can explain my hcs a little better and hopefully they make more sense!!

- she uses the staff as a mobility aid

With all the injuries she has and just a very long time of medical and general self neglect, it's fair to say her body doesn't cooperate with her (unless she's got some kind of arcane boost going on)

Staff would help her with balance, keeping upright when legs start to go numb (or as my roommate calls it "shutting down")

Constantly staying layered up/wrapped in a cloak because she's always cold

This is mainly due to the malnutrition, could also be from previous "resets" and just generally leaving her constantly feeling cold/fatigued

she could not hold her own in a one on one in her human form, thus always going Herald (that and size for ego)

While still incredibly intimidating and still posing a VERY big threat, a lot of her threat points come from her arcane proficiency and Herald form

So you try fighting this peanut she's folding like a lawn chair

That and the fact she's a literal fucking genius with the whole world that she could learn from

Tldr: Doomed!Svetla dealing with malnutrition, chronic pain in spine, shoulder blades and knees, always cold, just get her a place to sit and catch her breath because her ass CANNOT breathe sometime

Edit: thinking more on this

If she doesn't know what's wrong with her, she's using all this magic to just heal herself

How long has she just gone around overworking herself, how many times she's had to walk long distances before just deciding to fly everywhere she could?

The damage done to improperly healed wounds is NASTY

Like somebody takes a look at her and the damage done and lack of proper healing

"Why didn't you come here sooner?!" Would be the biggest question she's faced with and she would sharply snap back with "because I hate you and the entirety of this institute. Give me my bill of health and I'll leave" "okay stand up and walk without the staff for 5 minutes" "how about go fuck yourself"

It would be... difficult to get her to see a doctor and when she finally gets in she's getting a mile long list of things wrong with her (mental illness aside)

And she gives the vibe that even if she's hurting in a bad way, she pushes forward. Like she's too stubborn to just say she needs a break, or needs to sit down. She thinks that's weak and says "I'm fine fuck off" and limps on (everybody is a little disturbed by this sight)

Like girl you have numerous injuries and are littered with scars on top of scars you're actually making things much worse for yourself (and given if she prefers to sleep anywhere BUT a damn bed which is not helping her back in the slightest)

I know her back cracks are loud and gross

Edit 2:

I'm gonna say this now

Scars on both her abdomen and back??

Those look fatal

Like you have a VERY slim chance of surviving the amount of damage she's got to her gut

And her chances are even slimmer given her situation

Her back???

That again

Looks fatal

Like she DIED from sustaining an injury like that

And neither of them look like an accident

Or if they were, they didn't come from her just having a bad fall, or hitting something hard

There was another party involved that was the cause of death (potentially)

Like if the abdomen scar went any higher she'd look like a walking corpse that just got out of her autopsy

[kingwu]

(something something so kiss deprived smh)