#I think I tried this battle at least 20 times or maybe 30???

[hanafubukki]

I DID IT I BEAT THAT LEVEL 5 EX BATTLE

You have no idea how many times I tried this battle 😂 good thing it only cost 1 shell to do. 🤣

I was so close so many times!!

At one point it became personal 😤😤

Thank you triple Sebek Duo and Mal and Lilia OP stats 🥳🙏🫡

….i am going to despise the magical assault event when it comes to twst en. I can feel it already. Absolutely going to despite it. And I’m the type that once it becomes a challenge or it’s really close I won’t give up until I win lmao 🤣😅

[luckycharms1701]

*comes sliding into your inbox and excitedly crashes you into a tight bear hug*

OMIGOSH CAPTAIN KIRSTEN YOU’RE BACK! How are you sweet thing!? I’m so glad to hear that your request box is open again! I’m so excited to see what wondrous words you’ll dazzle us with next!

I just had the most splendiferous like EVER, and I can’t believe I hadn’t thought about it sooner. But you like Peepaw Leo right? And I like Peepaw Leo.

So I was thinking like you know…maybe if you’re feeling up for it (if and only if of course) you wouldn’t mind sharing your thoughts on how F!Leo would react to someone who’s generally super amiable and confident with all the other and resistance members, suddenly turns almost painfully polite an awkward around him. (This is legit how I act around people who I think are attractive) It happens so much to the point that he thinks they don’t him when in reality, they like him so much it flusters them to the point they don’t know how to act around them.

Basically I just wanna see how a “mature” Leo would act when he realizes someone likes him so much they can’t function 😆

Once again, this is just an idea to get those creative juices flowing, so please do with it as you so wish and remember that you’re a darling treasure! MWUAH 😘🧡✨

anon-chan!!! hello!!! 🫂🫂🫂 i’m so glad to see you in my inbox!!!

congratulations anon-chan! this is officially the most difficult request that has ever been asked of me. i’ve spent weeks trying to figure this out. started writing a little fic, but it didn’t feel right. so i thought maybe i could do some headcanons, but every time i tried to start i didn’t know where to start!

the problem i’m having is variables. there are so many variables for how this could turn out, mostly depending on timing. when exactly during the resistance does this happen? because i feel like that informs leo’s response. so have some of my unfiltered thoughts. a peek into how i “organize” my writing thoughts, if you will. i’m sorry in advance

Early 20s: This Leo is still confident and optimistic, at least outwardly. He and his brothers defeated Shredder twice, how hard can the Kraang be? Sure, they need some help and it’ll take longer, but it’ll definitely work out in the end and life will resume as normal. Right?

So I imagine that Leo at this age would see you suddenly pulling away and acting formal with him and get upset at first. He thought you were friends, why are you doing this? He would likely reciprocate or get snippy, at least until one of his brothers, probably Mikey but possibly Raph, comes to him and is like “Dude. Come on.” Give the guy a break, there’s a lot going on you know??? So at his brother’s suggestion, he sits back and observes.

When he finally confirms for himself that you do, in fact, have feelings for him and that’s why you’re being standoffish with him, watch out! This little shit is going to make you suffer a bit. He’s going to start flirting with you. Lots of compliments, little winks, soft touches… You will be inundated.

Something changes. Perhaps they lose their biggest battle to date. Perhaps someone close to him dies. Perhaps it is Casey Jr’s birth. Any way it plays out, Leo realizes that life is shorter than it seems, that love is precious and fleeting and should be grasped. He realizes that his teasing may be a little more… genuine on his side than he’d realized.

So he comes to you. Perhaps he goes full ham, arranges a romantic meeting somewhere, plans a dinner. Perhaps you end up in danger, and he goes a little crazy about it. Perhaps it is just a quiet moment that the two of you manage to steal. Either way, he tells you how he feels.

Late 20s/Early 30s: Now here is a Leo who is starting to realize that they might be in over their heads. He’s lost at least one member of his family. He’s watched them steadily lose ground to the Kraang, despite everyone giving their best effort. He is starting to understand that they might not win this fight. At this point he’s probably learned how the Kraang came to our world and that he played a part in their arrival.

This Leo is overwhelmed, but still holding strongly to hope. He’s determined to do everything in his power to keep morale up. That’s why he notices immediately when you seem to start pulling away from him. He takes it a little personally at first. Yeah, maybe he’s not as fun as he used to be, but he’s trying to run a resistance here, that’s no reason to give him the cold shoulder. He resolves to approach you about it.

Something changes. Perhaps he notices you give him a sidelong glance. Perhaps someone teases you and he overhears. Perhaps he sits you down for that talk and you confess. He learns why you are so standoffish, and suddenly he has a choice to make.

Leading a resistance is a 24/7 job. He has no time for anything, especially when he has so much to make up for. Does he even deserve the sliver of happiness you’re offering him? And there’s the niggling thought in the back of his head that everything is futile anyway, that they’re going to lose and you’re going to die.

But if there’s one thing he’s learned out of all of this, it’s that life is short. He doesn’t want to die with regrets, and he knows he would regret not taking this chance. And he wants to give you what happiness he can, you deserve that. Wouldn’t it be a little “fuck you” to the Kraang, to find some peace in the midst of the chaos they (he) created?

He goes for it. He takes the risk, jumps in feet first, and tells you how he feels.

Late 30s: Leon. Oh Leon. He holds onto hope fiercely, with both hands, but he can’t, he won’t, keep any of it for himself. He understands implicitly that even if by some miracle they win, he’s not going to survive this fight.

He’s going to notice immediately when your behavior changes, when you get stiff with him. He keeps his finger on the pulse of everyone close to him, pays attention so that he can help them if they start to flag. It won’t take long for him to pull you aside, to ask you if everything is okay, if you need a break.

He’s going to figure it out, whether because you admit it to him or through context clues. He’s had years to hone his considerable talent in understanding people, his preternatural ability to know what they want with a glance.

He’s going to figure it out, and he’s going to do… nothing. As long as there’s the tiniest chance that you could survive this, he refuses to tie you to a corpse. Besides, he has been thinking up a plan, a last ditch effort, and maybe you could be the one to put it into action…

Your death hits him like a freight train. His own is a relief.

~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying @xnorthstar3x @celticvix @donniesgirlie @gornackeaterofworlds @thelaundrybitch @shakeyourtrees

[aghostwithnoname]

DATV GAMEPLAY SPOILERS

In other words, don't read this if you don't want my hot take.

So for the past week, I've fallen off the deep end to play Dragon Age: The Veilguard to avoid whatever the fuck is going on in the world.

First, for the pros.

The game is visually very stunning, and by the gods, the character customization is fucking amazing. The HAIR. The complexions! The scars and the FACT YOU CAN FINALLY BE A FAT HERO. My god, I spent two hours alone just creating my Rook. I LOVE that we finally have a Thedas that actually reflects the diversity of our world.

For the first time in the Dragon Age series, I can actually play as a nonbinary person and have that be recognized by the story!!!! I love that Neve is disabled, and it's not even the main focus of her character! Thank god for finally giving us a cast of companions that aren't white!

Partly why I wanted to support the game, despite knowing about all of its troubled development, was because we need to show as players that we want and support this kind of content and thus will show a demand for it in our capitalist hellscape. (I don't make the rules - that's just how this stupid industry works.)

Now, despite giving us ALL of that, this now brings me to the cons.

Veilguard just doesn't *feel* like part of the Dragon Age franchise.

Maybe it's just me but like 20-30 hours into it and I just... I'm not feeling it, guys. Like it feels like the devs just fired all the writers and threw the flashy battle mechanics of God of War, *some* of the relationship dynamics of BG3, and the user interface of Mass Effect (which for the record, I don't actually like Mass Effect) into a blender and produced... whatever this is.

The dialogue is so... bland. I skip through half of it and I *never* skipped through dialogue in any of the previous games. Progressing on this plot feels like a chore, because there is literally nothing else to do except pursue the main story line. The world deceptively *looks* expansive, but you're really just being funneled from one major plot point to the next with no room to breathe.

What was fun about BG3 is that you could drop down a fucking hole in some random part of the Underdark and the game REWARDED you for your curiosity or your weirdness (lick the spider, goddammit!). By contrast, even though GoW was basically one plot, it was poignant and meaningful because of the excellent dialogue, acting, and relationships - you cared about Kratos and Atreus and Angrboda and Thrud and Thor because they were excellently explored. Imo, BioWare clearly saw these games winning game of the year over the last decade that they've been working on the next DA game, got jealous, tried to mimic these elements to chase the success of these franchises and failed miserably, while also just not understanding the unique idiosyncrasies of the franchise they themselves created.

As someone who has played origins, awakening, da2, and inquisition, at least i felt there was some tonal consistency - despite the fact we can all argue what the "best" game was. Like, your companions are snarky and funny and weird in ways that are completely irrelevant to saving the continent, and we know the Chantry is fucked but so are the apostates and the Qun and the Dalish, and there are no clear "good guys" vs "bad guys", and not EVERYTHING said is plot-relevant.

Sweet Andraste, I think Bellara's said "The Evanuris - you know the elven gods!" like about 50 times already. I get it that they want new people to come into the world and understand what's going on, but it just feels like the devs are holding my hand like I'm a little kid who cannot be trusted to know what's going on or make their own decisions.

Don't even get me started on how Varric is narrating everything, telling me how to feel about what I am going through. It's like on top of all this disjointed gameplay mechanics and narrative design, BioWare is trying to tell me it's all okay, even though it is not.

Maybe the next 60 hours will change my mind... (I haven't even MET my loves Davrin or Taash yet) By the Maker, I hope it does.

[bwobgames]

Previous First

"Go first, I'll be right behind you"

"Ah, yes, heights. My newly proclaimed enemy.

This. This thing is sturdy, right? It won't drop me or anything?

Is. Is the floor moving? No, that's just my imagination

I feel like jelly right now"

"Oliver?"

"Ah, yes! Right away!"

He slowly gets in the makeshift rope and climbs down

Luckily, he still has the muscle memory to do it

But his nerves catch him at the last second, causing him to land awkwardly and twist his ankle.

"MOTHERFUCKER"

"Mr. Detective are you okay?!"

Everyone is down there and sees him fall. Embarrasing

"Oliver?! Are you hurt?? Did you break it?? Is it infected?? Apply cold and heat and then cold, and should we get something to straight it up?? Can you move it? Wait, no, dont move it. dont touch it, I-"

"I'm okay !!"

"Really! This is just a rare misstep, I swear im a better detective than this, I even got into a competition once!"

"Does it hurt a lot?"

"Less than being stabbed, that's for sure"

"Don't say that!!"

"You say that because you didn't get stabbed, what a loser"

"You can't sit with us now"

"This is not the time for mean teens!"

"Really, I'm okay, I just twisted it, i think"

"Oh! You're in luck, Mr. Beebo! Seems like some vehicles are approaching"

"Oh! The bomb squad!"

"Do they have paramedics? And maybe firefighters?"

"I just hope they dont have bombs"

"YOU TWO"

"What's the story? What's the drama? What do we agree to put in the article that I'm definitely writing tonight. Also, hand over my book"

"Wha-? You're writing an article about this?!"

"Well, of course! it's a great way to make the rest of the world realize what an absolute bastard this man was!"

"Also, to keep you three out of jail for killing a man"

"Oh... right...."

"Don't worry! We can all just come up with something! There's evidence of him arranging the place so we have that, and of course, the whole toolshed.

I took several pictures of all"

"You can say he put bombs and tried to kill several of us"

"C'mon, give it a bit more spice"

"We had a hard fought battle, and when he thought he had us in the ropes, he fell down the window because he forgot it was the second floor"

"Yeah! I'll add some interesting dialogue"

"Isn't that... illegal?"

"Not as illegal as repeated murder! You could even say it was some cosmic timeline torture"

"... alright, murder attempt. For all of us"

"Let's make a group chat to coincide our alibis"

"That's- I won't question your methods.

Where is... you know... the body?"

"Oh, it's just there, in the snow. I think the family is planning on giving him a burial, but not a pretty one"

"They don't blame you or anything, so you are safe in that area"

"Right. A burial. The body. That's their choice now. This must be difficult for them. Fuck, it's difficult for me.

I might have to change my therapist. This might be too much for her

Ah, this is definitely one of the most painful cases I've had to go through.

But at least I got more than a hospitalization for severe dehydration and 20 dollars this time"

"Wait, I'm not even getting paid. Man."

"Alright, let's go meet the bomb people now"

"Can you stand?"

"It will hurt a little, but I'll be fine, um, can you give me a hand?"

"Oh, of course"

"Let's go"

"...Um"

"Well. Well then. Wow, it sure is warm in here for being in the snow"

"Does it hurt like this? It's still a bit cold, so get closer to me, okay?"

"This man will be the death of me"

"Goodbye"

"Wha- Why are you hiding?"

"The Beebo factory has closed. Please come by tomorrow"

"This is it. This is how I die for real. Heart beat too fast, too many feelings, too much direct contact with man muscles"

"Oh no! My favorite factory!"

"Nooo, when will it open again!"

"Hey! No nuzzling in the factory!"

"Too late! I require my supply of 30 to 40 kisses!"

"You have to pay for those buddy!"

"Nope! I'm a thief! I will steal them right now!"

"Haha, wait, wait! We are going to fall!"

"Ugh"

"I can feel you slowly becoming homophobic"

"Just for these two. They are too grossly in love"

"You are aware that mom will invite them for holidays, right?"

"I will ban the mistletoe. And matching sweaters. And Christmas songs"

"I don't think we will be able to escape it, honestly"

"This is worse than being stabbed"

"Eh, they're funny. I found the detective guy's instagram. Im gonna steal a picture of his cat and say its mine"

"Nice. Tell me if you find Ángel's account to report it"

"Excuse me, are you the owner of this building?"

"Ah, not quite, but I am a representative of the organization that owns it"

"That's all right, could you tell me about the suspected bomb?"

"Well, it's not really suspected..."

The bomb from the second floor explodes

"... It's very much confirmed.

I think it would be better to stay away from the house"

"... we'll do a few calls"

"Ah! Also, do you have anything for first aid? And warm clothes?"

"Ah, of course, follow me"

Ángel and Beebo sit in the first aid vehicle, blanket over them, and warm drinks in hand

[chqnified]

Thank you for the tag @abiaswreck <33

Sorry it took me so long to do. Tagging @niche-bitch @anautumncarol if you both want to do it, no pressure though <3

1. Birthday?

24/7 ... I love using it as a pun.

2. Favorite color?

Black would be the overall agreed colour. But here are a few parts favourite colours: Felix is blue, Isla is lilac, Echo is blue, Avi is black, Celia is blue, Dani is red.

Mine is red and black.

3. How tall are you?

5"7 irl.

4. How many pair of shoes to you own?

2, one pair of regular black converse and a pair of Dr martens max platforms. I also have a pair of cheer shoes, but it'd break my brain to wear them outside after being conditioned to never step foot outside of the gym of competitions with them lol

5. Favorite song?

Favourite song of all time, Side effects by skz.

6. Favorite movie?

The Call

7. Who would be your ideal partner?

My current partner. Caring, understanding, funny and attentive. They literally remember the tiniest of things I would have randomly told them about months ago and I find that endearing tbh.

8. Do you want children?

Yes. I'd adopt 3 children I think. Definitely at least one child. Sounds cringey, but I want to give them the world yk...

9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Nope.

10. What color socks are you wearing?

Black. I only own black long socks, or black / white sports socks.

11. Favorite type of music?

K-pop and Alternative. But, tbh, as a system, our music taste is very varied.

12. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3.... But..... I was supposed to get rid of the third as I was bought a replacement pillow for one of my old ones..... But I'm hoping nobody will notice I kept it.

13. What position do you sleep in?

On my side or stomach

14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

Any lights on. The glow in the dark stars on our wall are fine, but light as in sunlight, lights, screen light, lamp light or even you know the tiny lil lights on machines that signals they're on standby or whatever. Really annoys me. Oh, also noise, that isn't my music from earpods.

15. Have you tried archery?

Yes. I wasn't too bad at it actually.

16. Favorite fruit?

Lychees ? Mango is great too.

17. Are you a good liar?

Yes. Now see, most people would say I'm a bad liar, but being brutally honest, if I didn't want you to know truly, you wouldn't. I pick and choose. Also.... If you're labelled a bad liar, it makes it all the more easier lol.

I'd like to add, I don't go out of my way to deceive people to harm them or be shitty, I would do so to keep myself and the system safe. If you have to loose battles to win others in more important circumstances, that's what I'll do. I think tbh, it'd only make sense if you lived my life

18. What’s your personality type?

Istp apparently

19. Innie or outie?

20. Left or right handed?

Right handed, left footed.

21. Favorite food?

Hash brown with ketchup

22. Favorite foreign food?

Idk, I love pretty much most Chinese and Greek food ig. It's so good 🤨

23. Are you clean or messy?

I'm very pedantic, everything has its place, shelves have to be dusted as well as skirtings, picture rail etc. So yeah clean. Tidying is also my way of taking my mind off things.

24. Most used phrase?

'your mum' 'bestie' 'slay' 'so anyways'

.... I don't have any justifications.

25. How long does it take you to get ready?

Depends if I need a shower or to wash my hair. If I've showered the night before already, 30mins (including getting out of bed). If I need to shower and maybe wash my hair, 1h.

26. Do you talk to yourself?

Well. Yeah. But I mean, as parts, we're usually always around one another, so, I don't talk to myself often.

27. Do you sing to yourself?

Rarely.

28. Are you a good singer?

Ask the neighbors.

29. Biggest fear?

Being hated. Loosing everyone.

30. Are you a gossip?

No. I don't have the energy. Our only gossips are Aris, Echo and potentially Erin.

31. Long or short hair?

Long for a boy, short for a girl. Depends on what stereotypes you're basing it on.

32. Favorite school subject?

Biology and stats.

33. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

34. What make you nervous?

Depends on the day. But loud noises, especially loud unexpected noises are anxiety inducing for me

35. Who was your first crush?

Uhmmmmm I think it was one of my 'boyfriend''s older sister.... I was 6 or 7 at the time, leave me alone.

36. How many piercings do you have?

Only 2 currently but will be getting some more between now and the end of summer.

37. How many tattoos do you have?

None, but I really want to get some

38. How fast can you run?

Faster than an ostrich. Definitely.

39. What color is your hair?

Light brown

40. What color are your eyes?

Blue

41. What makes you angry?

Really random things. Probably big hypocrites the most though. oh and when people have opinions on something they have no knowledge about/ done no research on.... And refuse to listen to someone who knows about it more than them

42. Do you like your name?

Birth name no. Collective name (Charlie) all of us don't mind/like the name. The system name (Eleutheria) we all chose it out together, so definitely love the name, it has a lot of meaning for us. Our individual names, most of us picked out our own name so again yes.

44. What are your strengths?

I can accurately adjust myself according to my surroundings/environment/people I'm with to fit in without thinking.

45. What are your weaknesses?

I get too attached to people. I'm also extremely emotionally erratic

46. What’s the color of your bedspread?

Grey

47. What’s the color of your room?

My room carpet is aqua blue, my walls are light grey and white, my curtains are dark grey. My bedsheets vary, blu, grey or lilac. So overall. Blue / grey

[norisbeinghuman]

How I ran into real-life brain-hacking

I have been struggling with sugar addiction for years. It took its toll on both my physical and mental health long before I even knew I had it and I have been fighting it ever since I recognized its ugly face. And just like it tends to be with addictions, it was a very tough battle, and I wasn’t always winning. I was ready to fight for the rest of my life, but now I think I might not have to. I think, carefully and hopefully, that I maybe, just maybe, might have won. How? Believe it or not, it was hypnosis.

(The rest of this post is long, ye be warned. If you want to read it in peace and quiet, head over to my blog https://noriparelius.com/post/brain-hacking/. Or keep reading here, up to you.)

What? Hypnosis?!

I wrote extensively about my sugar addiction before, so if you want to read more about the misery it brought me, just go ahead. This post will be about what liberated me.

I met Roger in a book club. (I really hope, Roger, that you don’t mind me talking about this on my blog that nobody reads.) The most wonderful book club, full of lovely people from all around the world, that I feel genuinely lucky to have met. Roger is one of them – a Scottish guy that just seems to radiate warmth, calm and wit. And as it happens, he runs a company selling hypnosis audio tracks. I remember when I found out about that a few months after joining the book club. “That’s not something you hear often!” I thought, and pretty much left it at that.

At one of the book club meetings we were discussing mental health. It was one of those moments when you get to see that everybody really does have their own secret struggle, no matter the image they present to the world. Anyway, it was after that meeting that Roger recommended hypnosis to the rest of us. I knew very little about hypnosis and I never would have thought about it on my own, but getting a recommendation from someone whose opinion I have come to value, was enough to get me to try.

Roger is one of the directors in a company called Uncommon Knowledge (I love the name!) and their Hypnosis Downloads platform has thousands of audio tracks that you download and listen to whenever you feel like it. Literally thousands of short 20-30 minute sessions about anything and everything you could think of. (And by the way, this is not an ad, I’m getting nothing for this. I just genuinely love their stuff.)

You wouldn’t give a cake to an itchy knee

I didn’t know where to start, but I knew about at least one big problem I had. The damn sugar. So I started looking for hypnosis tracks that could help with that. I found a few and tried a few, downloads with names like Sweet Tooth and Food Addiction Help. I did as was recommended and listened to them every day for a week. They were nice, calming, lovely to listen to and I agreed with every word. But I didn’t feel any different. I thought maybe I just needed to give it more time. Until I ran into the Stop Emotional Eating. It’s funny, because I already knew that one of the reasons I was turning to “treats” was emotions; boredom, angst, loneliness, exhaustion, stress,… But knowing didn’t help me to stop.

The first time I listened to Stop Emotional Eating felt like an emotional roller-coaster ride that ended with me disembarking into a new reality. I opened my eyes and wondered why on earth I ever tried to eat away my feelings. What an utterly stupid idea! As if that would ever work! It suddenly seemed completely silly and useless to eat an ice cream because I had a bad day (or a good one, for that matter). The hypnosis was full of deep insights and clever metaphors, and it reached a part of my mind no logic could ever penetrate to before. I still chuckle at the “You wouldn’t give a cake to an itchy knee” whenever I think about it. Very true, I definitely wouldn’t do that, but I spent decades doing its equivalent by putting a plaster made of chocolate over my feelings. No more though. No more.

Break the trance

Now, I was really feeling that my sugar struggles were over. And in some way they were! It’s been a half a year and I didn’t have a single binge in that time. What’s even more, I didn’t even want one, or get anywhere close. My emotions seemed to have detangled themselves from the food completely and permanently.

But. Oh yes, there is a but. I wasn’t binging anymore, and I wasn’t tortured by wanting something sweet more than anything, but kept nibbling at foods I knew would make me feel sick when nobody was looking. To be honest, I can’t explain it. I would have a little bite of a banana pancake I made for my kids. Or a piece of blood sausage. Or an apple. All pretty good foods, but ones that unfortunately don’t do me, personally, any good. I only did it when nobody was looking, while firmly telling myself that I don’t want to do that, that it isn’t worth it and that I don’t even want it that much. I still did it. Over and over again. Mind-boggling. Thankfully, it didn’t trigger the binges and I didn’t really feel that unsatiable need for candy anymore.

I regret to say that it took me months to realize this was something else than the emotional eating I was partaking in before. It needed a different mind-shift. And lo and behold, I found a hypnosis for that too! Wanna guess? It’s called Secret Eating. I only listened to that one once, about 6 weeks ago. And I haven’t been grazing on things anymore. At all. And the best thing is that it is effortless. No willpower needed. Looking back, the moments I stole from my kids food felt like some sort of trance. My brain saw the opportunity, nobody was looking, so it didn’t count. The reaction was almost automatic, no matter what I was trying to tell myself at that moment. The hypnosis broke the trance and put me back in control.

Everyday magic

I know the word hypnosis sounds spooky and for quite a while after starting with it I felt a bit silly asking my husband to keep the kids away from me for twenty minutes, because I was going to do a… hypnosis. Truth is, there is nothing spooky or weird to it. It is actually a lot like what people call guided meditations now. You sit/lie down, relax, and listen to someone talking. No loss of control involved at all. You are completely free to disagree with whatever they are saying, or stop the track at any moment. In a sense, the whole experience doesn’t feel special at all. No dangling watches, no whirlwinds in the eyes, no repressed memories, no waking up and realizing you were jumping around like a frog unbeknownst to you just seconds before. In that sense it’s almost boring.

But there is real magic to it too. I have told myself countless times before that eating something sweet would only make me feel sick and not actually calm the emotional storm I was drowning in. My thoughts never reached my feelings though. I have spent over 4 years trying to use willpower, tricks and hacks, trying to motivate myself, remind myself, rationalize and my progress was glacial at best. One single hypnosis session solving it all? That is a miracle.

Doesn’t matter how you got there

What I really like about hypnosis, or at least the hypnosis from Hypnosis Downloads / Uncommon Knowledge, is that it is always about the solution. There is rarely digging into what kind of trauma brought you were you are, because it doesn’t really matter. The real question is how you get out.

I remember doing a “guided meditation” several years ago, which was all about meeting your demons and transforming them. It was a very cool experience, fairy-tale like and full of surprises. I met my sugar demon, a pink blobby creature with a funny hat. I talked to it, and could clearly see that what it was all about was hunger not for food, but for safety, connection, love and other things candy couldn’t give. I got to see it for the coping mechanism it was. Then I witnessed it transform from the monster into a hurt little me.

I don’t know, maybe for some people that meditation would have been enough to leave the addiction behind. For me, it wasn’t. It illuminated where I was and how I got there, but it also revealed to me what my addiction was doing for me, why I needed it. I didn’t know how else to take care of those needs.

The Emotional Eating hypnosis was so much more pragmatic than the esoteric experience of meeting my demons. “You wouldn’t give a cake to an itchy knee,” is exactly what I needed to hear though. It didn’t concern itself with why I was eating my feelings, which feelings, or where and when it might have started. What mattered was that it was an absolutely useless coping mechanism.

The hypnosis also offered a solution. A solution so painfully obvious, that it shouldn’t need to be said, but for me, it was. I was told that I should take care of my emotional needs in the appropriate way, and only use food for hunger. Sounds vague, but in the days after I first listened to the track, I suddenly started becoming aware of my emotional needs that I didn’t notice before. Now they were right there in front of me clear as day, and it felt ridiculous to shove a cookie in my face in a futile attempt to make them go away.

A key to the mind

Ever since my first positive experiences with hypnosis, I have been turning to it almost daily, trying out various tracks.

I have been working on getting better at taking breaks, learning to compartmentalise my work and free time, let go of caring what others think about me, even getting better at creative writing! (I actually started writing a novel! Doing creative writing for the first time since high school! How fun is that?!)

Whenever I run into a problem in my life, a situation where I would wish I would feel and react differently, I look for the right track. It usually takes trying a few different, related ones, sort of like testing a bunch of keys on a stubborn lock. Sooner or later, one of them fits. Sometimes the change is slow and sneaky, sometimes it’s like a lightning strike, but it is always, always, life-changing.

If you find any of this intriguing, and you are wondering how hypnosis actually works, go and read about it from the experts. Here is a great article by Mark Tyrrell – the other founder behind Uncommon Knowledge – about what hypnosis is.

[unovasfavoritedumbass]

1. I'm from Unova and I don't really feel comfortable sharing exact details but I live in the city!!

2. Mine is a Whimsicott :)

3. I haven't!! At least I don't think I have im a little tired at the moment

4. I'd probably visit Kalos, good food, things related to my career

5. Oh my god if I could count them i would I don't keep up with that shit though, life's enough as is I don't need to worry about the shit that happened w the plasma stuff

6. I'm not big on all this

7. Uhhh poison,,,?? Maybe,,idk I'm not the battling type

8. None!! I'm, not the battling type, I just make a living with my work, feed my trubbish and sleep its so, routine, I like it :]

9. I don't do anything really!! But my trubbish, Hamburgler likes to watch TV, hes a lovely little guy, likes to watch those videos with the bird pokemon eating seeds

10. I don't knoww, not that involved with the battling world dispite how much it seems to matter to the world, I suppose I just don't have the heart?

11. M, don't have one, Trubbish likes to watch the matches though, and then slam into my couch like he's fighting demons, love him though

12. Okay there's this dude in Galar I CANNOT stand, he's an ex champion STUPID purple hair and God I have just the WORST celebrity crush on this dude he looks warm I don't know his name i just know Hamburgler used to watch his matches and he has a charizard

13. Not much to say

14. Oh my god okay there was this dude who saved a kid from a drifloon, losing my shit THE KID WAS A ZORUA IT HAD EVERYONE FOOLED?? LITERALLY INTERUPTED HUNTING IT RAN AWAY WHEN THEY TRIED TO INTERVIEW IT??

15. Probably, now not to get deep or anything on my Tumblr.com, but probably a furfrou, I want to feel pretty, and for someone to wash and brush my hair, I want someone to see me as if I were art? Ya know? Bit of lore I suppose hah, yeah okay moving on this feels corny

16. Everstone, keeps my apartment from being too small for my little guy, he ate one a while back before I found him they just xrayed him and let me know

17. I have 1 and its for travel, has stickers all over it, Hamburgler picked them himself

18. The same?? Arceus is this a debate?? You don't look at dirt, sand, or any of the sort and go "its a rock" do yall?? Unova smarts here, even I get this and I'm dumb as hell LOL

19. DIFFERENT?? no way this is a thing people think??

20. Different, frozen water, come on now

21. Not much!! He doesn't like them, but he enjoys picking up things and wearing them as hats sometimes

22. He lives by the TV basically

23. No, silly Hamburgler once ran from a Pidove the only thing he's battling is my couch </3

24. I mean!! If he wanted, Hamburgler could I just, don't know the competition world?? Well??

25. HE LOVES anything sandwich, any left over sandwich, lettuce, lunch meat, he's a little sandwich baby, I don't just feed him that though only as a treat he has a normal diet for a trubbish

26. Hand me a sandwich, please tell me it isnt from Paldea, and I'll be on my way, Unova has some AMAZING sandwich shops around here

27. Hamburgler, my trubbish, I found him a while back outside my work, it was a few days into my apprenticeship, he was eating out the trash so I went next door and bought him a sandwich, fed him and went to work, I felt bad, but when I got out of work he just followed me home!! The rest is history really

28. Hamburgler :]

29. I ADORE poison types they get such a bad rep :[

30. I honestly don't have a favorite but if someone asks if I have a fairy type ONE more time ill lose it, just because I have pink hair doesn't mean I'm prancing with fairys?? We also have hardly any native ones in Unova so?? No, no I am not

31. I don't want anymore my trubbish is enough </3

32. Nope!! Not once, no shinys, no weird rare ones, normal shit, my mom's umbreon has extra toes though, that booger bites me anytime I come home shes so old

33. Nope! He can't without surgery and it isnt worth the risk nor i have the money, or room, I love him just the way he is

34. Does Hamburgler count? He has a everstone stuck in him forever, he doesn't seem to want to evolve either he runs from any of his evolution when we go on walks

35. Oh he just has them now somewhat, viciously attacks my trash cabinet, tried to get the lock off but he cant!!

36. I've only had one and we bonded over a sandwich it was super easy, but him adapting to my home and tame life was a little difficult I suppose

37. A huh?

38. Pidgey, too many pidoves here in the city, its wild

39. Nope!! None

40. Hes my little goofball what isn't to love? But Hamburgler seems to adore the tv, and the world, and he just has this spark of joy in him and nothing seems to ever truely bring him down, I want to be like that, I want to be like him, simple minded and free, I aspire and try to think like him <3

Pokéblr Ask Game

General Questions 1-20, Pokémon Specific Questions 21-40

What region are you from? What town? 

What’s your Unovan horoscope? 

Have you visited other regions?

What region would you most like to visit if ever given the chance?

Thoughts on the legendaries of your home region?

Thoughts on the legendaries of another region?

If you were a gym leader, what kind of gym would you run? If you are already a gym leader or gym trainer, what’s your gym like?

Which do you prefer, competitive battling or battling for fun?

What type of battle strategy do you tend to use with your Pokémon? If you do contests or something else with your Pokémon, what is your preferred approach to that?

Favorite Pokémon League champion?

Favorite gym leader?

Give us a random celebrity (gym leader, tv personality, musician, etc.) you can’t stand and why.

Thoughts on your home region’s Pokémon League?

Weirdest recent local news story?

If you had to pick a Pokémon to represent you, what Pokémon would you pick? 

Favorite evolutionary stone?

Do you prefer to hand decorate your Pokéballs? Do you have a preference for any specialty Pokéballs?

Do you think Rock and Ground are distinctly different Pokémon types, or largely the same and incorrectly categorized? 

Do you think Grass and Bug are distinctly different Pokémon types, or largely the same and incorrectly categorized? 

Do you think Water and Ice are distinctly different Pokémon types, or largely the same and incorrectly categorized? 

Do your Pokémon wear any fun accessories?

Does your Pokémon have a favorite item?

Do your Pokémon battle? 

Would you ever enter one of your Pokémon in a contest? Which one?

What type of food do your Pokémon prefer? What flavors?

Pokéblocks, Poké Puffs, Poffins, Poké Beans, Curry, or Sandwiches?

Who was your first Pokémon? How did you get them? How long have you had them?

What is your most recently obtained Pokémon? 

What is your favorite Pokémon type? 

What is your least favorite Pokémon type?

If you could have any Pokémon in the world to add to your team, what Pokémon would it be?

Have you encountered any rare or unusual Pokémon?

Have any of your Pokémon evolved? If so, what was in your opinion the most difficult one to evolve? 

Do you have a Pokémon that refuses to evolve?

Did any of your Pokémon have temperament issues when they first evolved? How did you handle it?

Which Pokémon took you the longest to bond with?

Do you have a naming convention for your Pokémon?

What Pokémon did you grow up thinking was rare only to find out they’re common elsewhere?

Do you and your Pokémon have any badges or contest ribbons? Which one are you most proud of?

Favorite thing about your partner Pokémon?

[keen-umbreon]

About Me? (Rules in Keep Reading)

My family on both sides raise Eeveelutions, my father's side tends to train Vaporeon. My step-mother has a Glaceon. My mother's side tends to have Flareon. My mother and my step-father have a small everstoned eevee and an everstoned Galarian zigzagoon respectively. My uncle has a large Jolteon. I'm 25. I'm a man. I have a tendency to rant about things. Usually about Team Plasma. I was raised and live in Striaton. Consider this doxxing myself, porygons lol :). At least as far as doxing can go when my face was in the newspapers.

My partners are:

Enigma the Espeon. He is rather calm and is very alert to noises. He likes bitter food and hates spicy food. His Ability is Magic Bounce. For technical stuff, his EVs are 252 Special Attack, 252 Speed, and 4 Special Defense. His IVs, according to Nurse Joy, are 30 HP, 1 Attack, 20 Defense, 31 Special Attack, 30 Special Defense, 31 Speed. He knows Sunny Day, Morning Sun, Psychic, and Confusion. Sometimes we switch Confusion out for Signal Beam or Shadow Ball. According to Nurse Joy, in the past he knew Power Gem and could relearn it through effort. For battles, he has a Heat Rock that he wears as a cute little clasp for a scarf that I paid a specialist to infuse with Heat Rock and weather-resistant fibers. I rescued him from a pack of Purrloin, and he rescued me from a group of Sawk and Throh. He started following me around. Funny story, he stole a Pokeball from a Mart and shoved it in my hand. I had to pay the Mart three times the normal amount just to get them to not call the police on me.

Figy the Flareon. She is very adamant and stubborn. She likes spicy food and hates dry food. She refuses to stay still for a photograph, so here she is in all her blurry glory. Her IVs are 29 HP, 28 Attack, 31 Defense, 27 Special Attack , 29 Special Defense, 29 Speed.  Her EVs are 252 Attack, 4 Special Defense, 252 Speed. She knows Fire Fang, Iron Tail, Double Edge, and Facade. She also likes Bite, Dig, and Headbutt. She refuses to battle unless I let her use the Toxic Orb or Choice Band she was rescued with. They’re both like safety blankets to her. Managed to make the toxic orb into a little bell thingy for a purple collar for her, the choice band just slips over the collar and when she battles she just gives me whichever one she doesn’t want to use at the moment. She loves battling and drags me to harass Cilan Chili and Cress every few days. She really wants to go on the League Challenge, but I’m not up for that. Edit: Feb 12 2023, She’s going to stay with my little sibling before and during their journey across Unova and for their League Challenge.

Edit: Feb 14, 2023 I’m adding Lum to this now.

Lum the Leafeon I don’t know fully what he’s like yet. After some deep healing treatments, he doesn't have any more chemical burns! Yay! He tears up all my recovery and self-help books and pamphlets. He found an old Plasma shirt of mine and he's taken to sleeping with it. That's very worrying. I think he might have been Alum's before the lab accident. I tried catching him with a Pokeball and he broke it in half with a tail Leaf Blade. His ability is Leaf Guard. His IVs are 30 HP, 29 Attack, 29 Defense, 29 Special Attack, 29 Special Defense, 29 Speed. His EVs are 136 Hp, 120 Attack, 252 Speed. He knows Swords Dance, Giga Drain, Leaf Blade, and Yawn. He made me buy him a small satchel that goes around his neck, he keeps my dried berries in it. When I give him a plate of food, he also bags the leftovers. I think he might have had food insecurity in the past? Or he just really likes eating? He shows interest in cooking. Maybe I can use that to get him to open up.

Some things about me:

I had some bad experiences with trainers before. I used to think that people could only use Pokemon as tools and weapons. I treated my old Pokémon like how I thought I was supposed to treat Pokemon. I never hurt them physically, but I wasn't a friend to them as I grew older. I’m no longer in contact with the Pokémon from before, both from personal choice so they can heal and from legal obligation.

I never completed my League Challenge. Got past Gym Leader Elesa, so I had 4 badges. Had being a keyword, I forfeited them.

I used to be a member of Team Plasma. N had Ideals and Charisma, Ghetsis had Viciousness and Manipulation. I thought that Pokemon had to be separated from humans because we were horrible, because I thought I was horrible. Yes, I was punished for it. They were and are a cult.

You may hear me talk about Alum from time to time. He was a member of Team Plasma with me, we were partners and very close. He never used any Pokemon, at all, only his fists and the rest of him. He was a large tank of a man, built like an oak tree and as stubborn as one too. For 7 years, from 2010 to 2017, we were inseparable. I would have seriously hurt someone if Alum asked. He didn't make me though. Sure, I do know what it feels like to punch a backyard breeder in the jaw, and I do have a record of anger issues. But for the most part, I just patched up any injuries for our cell and any Pokemon that were hurt. I guess I was the team healer, in a way - but he was the heart and brains of our Cell, even if he weren't the official leader. When we were all arrested, I eventually went back to uh 'civilian' life but he - Alum got worse. A lot worse. His occasional punches thrown at horrible trainers became all out brawls and stealing Pokemon from trainers. He officially joined Team Neo Plasma around March 2018. AFTER the Big Freeze in 2012. He might have been allied with them a lot longer, our cell was officially not-Neo but sometimes we got close to it. I genuinely miss him. But I don't miss the sort of person I was starting to become with him, and I don't miss the person he became. If I mention Alum, usually I tag it with #keen alum so, feel free to block that tag. Sometimes I get... annoyingly sappy about him.

The psychic ladies and my stepmother who’ve all tested me with their methods of aura seeing (aura crystals, aura ribbons, one of them made me make something by heart and I made her soup and apparently that worked lol) and apparently my aura is a dark cyan.

Just so y'all can look up what potential crimes I've committed, here's my time line of when I did things. Exact dates are a bit fuzzy, but the dates are based on what I wrote in my personal journals.

I started my League Challenge in Unova in September 28th, 2008, I was 11 years old. I failed my League Challenge October 7th, 2010.

I joined Team Plasma October 7th, 2010, I was 13. I was arrested and basically forced to leave Team Plasma September 28th 2017, I was 20. I don't think I actually ideologically started to leave Plasma until Enigma made me catch him. Part of me might still be in line with them.

The Opelucid City freeze was Team Neo Plasma, I didn't have anything to do with it, but it was June 23rd, 2012.

I served my time in community service from from December 12th 2017 to June 22nd 2019, 2 years of it.

Enigma joined me December 26th, 2017.

Figy joined me July 18, 2021. Figy left my team February 12th, 2023.

Lum joined me February 14th, 2023.

(Rules Below, Keep Reading, OOC Below)

My Follow Blog: Keen-Kidus, KeenKidus

Hello. I am K*. I am shit at tagging. If you want to avoid the not-slice-of-life shit then block the #team phase tag.

K* is not Keen-Umbreon, Keen-Umbreon the character will occassionally say the weirdest shit ic and K* doesn't always agree with him. Keen-Umbreon is a character, not a real person. K* is 25+ years old, as of writing this I'm 25 and too lazy to go back and change this every year. I, me, myself, K*, I am a gay trans man.

Rules:

Blog is general, usually, but may get into PG-13 or higher, occasional alcohol or swearing or minor violence mentions. I will not interact with people who IRL are not adults.

Let me know if I end up rping Keen-Umbreon as too unhinged. Sometimes the muse grabs me by the hair and won't let go, but I can tone it down if asked.

Look in the tags for my OOC shit.

Non-Pokemon-universe OCs don't interact please.

Sentient Pokemon accepted, as long as they use some form of translator/assistance/training/etc. Blog canon is that Pokemon can communicate with Humans. Some of them are more animal like in intelligence but all of them think inherently different than Humans.

I don't triggertag except for food and meat. At least for now. Cuz I suck at remembering. And also because Keen-Umbreon would in-character triggertag meat.

At me in shit, babies. <3

Keen-Umbreon is an ex-member of Team Plasma. He occasionally goes on rants that will support Plasma or call all of his former co-members of Plasma idiots/fools/misguided/worse words. He occasionally mentions things that IRL PETA and the ALF have done, and he occasionally will drink the flavor-aid. Sometimes he is angsty. I promise you all that he will get better. But he's a victim of cult shit and has to deal with that himself. He's based on my own experiences with cult shit (he's like 8ish years behind my own progress) and also reality. I use a few IRL anti-cult resources and my own anti-cult recovery and therapy books as references and guides for writing him.

Due to Dr Hasan's idiotic ideas on trans people ("sissy hypno porn is proof trans people are a cult" to summarize) as well as it being repeatedly criticized by other more credible cult resewrchers, I will no longer be using the BITE method.

[darth-caillic]

All evens from the otp ask for Mar and Ahsoka (to give you a challenge)

2. Any sleep habits either had to get used to?

Bit of a depressing one, but I do think Ashoka talks in her sleep, and that's something Mar had to get used to.

4. How did they first meet?

At this point? They meet during the Return to Geonosis Arc. Ya know, the one with the creepy bugs. Ashoka doesn't trust Mar at first, but she saved her life Ashoka has a bit of a soft spot for her.

6. When did they realize they loved each other?

Mar realised during the Wrong Jedi Arc. For Ashoka, it was just before the siege of Mandalore.

8. What’s one way their personalities compliment one another?

They're both on the same page most of the time. At least when it comes to battles and duels.

10. What are some non-sexual activities they do together?

I would say Dejarik, practice duels and stargazing (... I think I really want a partner to go stargazing with).

12. Which member is more verbally affectionate?

Ashoka, for sure. Like not at first, but as their relationship goes on, she gets more and more affectionate.

14. Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Given the circumstances of their relationship, they have to be extroverted, but after the empire, they would be lowkey party animals.

16. Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

Ashoka was to be the one to drag Mar to bed. Mar just has a lot of stuff she wants to do, and not enough time in the day to do it.

18. What song fits them perfectly?

Oooo I'm thinking maybe Wish You Were Here by pink floyd

20. Who holds a grudge the longest?

I'll let Jean cover this one /j

Ahsoka sdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsdsd;/0

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed?

Mar can sometimes find the shenanigans Ashoka gets them into a bit embarrassing.

24. Which of the two is the most competitive?

That's hard to say. They're both pretty competitive. It's part of the reason they love each other so much.

26. How do they comfort each other?

Mar often does the whole placing hand on shoulder in comforting way. I think Ashoka is into hugs and comforting back rubs.

28. Do they get along with each other’s friends and family?

I can say that Mar is not a fan of Anakin. She's okay with Rex (but only to a certain extent) and don't even get me started on Obi Wan.

How does Ahsoka feel about the Sept tho? Mmmmm I'm not sure Ashoka could ever get along with them super well, but respects them as Mar's family. When it comes to Boba tho that would be such a weird relationship wouldn't it?

30. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)

Mar's is the forehead kiss.

Ahsoka love kissing Mar on the cheeks.

32. How do they resolve their arguments?

They would give each other space for a while (few hours few days, depending on how bad the argument was), and then Mar would be the one to approach Ashoka to talk it out.

34. Do they give each other nicknames?

Before they started dating

Mar: Master Jedi, smartass and cheeky

Ashoka: Lady Mar, witch and mystery woman

After dating:

Mar: cyar'ika and sarad

Ashoka: babe, sweetheart

36. How’d they meet each other’s families?

Mar meets Anakin and Rex on Geonosis, and meets Obi Wan on Kamino during AOTC.

Ashoka would meet Boba during the whole 'trying to kill Mace' business. Ashoka meeting the Sept is this whole side arc I'm thinking of doing where Ashoka helps Mar get back to Marazi after a dead end mission and she's invited to the " welcome home / we told you so " party throw for Mar.

38. What was their most memorable date?

The former mentioned "we told you so" party lol

40. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Ashoka can make Mar smile so easily. it's not even funny.

OTP Relationship Asks

[jytan2018]

Challenge accepted.

The Weight of Gold and Black

Summary: Set between Nimona's climactic battle and the ending, Ballister finally talks to Ambrosius about his betrayal.

***

"What, you're gonna kill me now too?"

Ballister's grip on his sword almost slips. But then the anger—he still isn't used to that, letting other people know he's not happy when he's grown up being told he should be happy he even gets to belong—registers and he yells, "You believe that?!"

Dimly, though, a part of Ballister's brain still keeps replaying Ambrosius's words, and he feels an invisible sword twist into his chest with every repetition: "What, you're gonna kill me now too? You're gonna kill me now too? Kill me now too? Kill me now too? Kill me too? KILL ME? ME???".

He wants to scream at Ambrosius. Demand to know why he would ever think that of him. Drag Ambrosius to his feet, then shove him just hard enough that he would shove back, and they'd go from trading frustrated punches to cautious touches to apologetic caresses.

But then he watches Ambrosius flinch when he throws the sword down, as if he genuinely expected to be killed, and he understands.

"Then you never knew me at all," Ballister murmurs, half to Ambrosius and half to himself.

He tries to muster the strength to walk away, but then someone grabs him from behind—it's Todd, riding a hovermobile— and drags him all the way across the Institute's courtyard before hurling him right into a cereal stall.

Everything after that is...a mess, if Ballister is being honest with himself. He barely remembers grabbing Nimona and escaping, or Ambrosius trying to turn him against Nimona later on, or Nimona's battle where she...sacrificed herself.

What he does remember is Ambrosius' hand on his shoulder after he'd fallen to his knees. The thunk of his head hitting his golden armour. The relief that he still had someone to lean on because oh Gloreth, Nimona might not be coming back. She may really be gone.

After that, he remembers nothing. Because that's the moment everything turns black.

***

He wakes up to the feel of cold metal against his entire body and Ambrosius murmuring something beside his ear, in the commanding tone he usually reserves for other knights of the realm.

Ballister groans and forces himself to open his eyes. He catches a whiff of lavender, and he sees a mop of white hair inches away from his face.

He's on Ambrosius' back. They're surrounded by knights. Is he being captured? Ambrosius wouldn't do that, right? The Director's gone now, there's no reason for Ambrosius to arrest him, right?

...Right?

"Put me down..." Ballister forces the words out of his mouth, but it barely sounds half as stern as he wanted them to sound. Damn it.

Meanwhile, Ambrosius seems to hear him, because he startles and quickly tilts his head in his direction. "Bal! You're awake."

"I said," Ballister repeats, more firmly this time, "Put me down."

Ambrosius hesitates, then stoops and gradually lets go of Ballister's thighs until he feels his feet touch solid ground. Once Ballister stands back to full height, he quickly scans the surrounding knights. 10, 20, at least 30. Maybe he can overpower one of them and grab their sword. Maybe—

"Bal, wait. Listen to me." Ambrosius steps within view, his hands up in the air. "No one's capturing you. We're not doing that anymore." When Ballister continues to look at him warily, he adds, "You're safe now."

Safe? He looks around. They're at the Institute. Specifically, the Quarters floor where all the knights and cadets sleep, with the Institute doctor's quarters just down the hall. But this place is halfway across the realm from where they were before he passed out. Did Ambrosius carry him all the way here?

"I get it," Ambrosius says, approaching him like he was a wounded animal. "You're exhausted, you're confused, and you don't know if or when Nimona will come back."

Nimona. Ballister's knees almost buckle again just thinking about her. It's all his fault. If he hadn't called her a monster, she wouldn't have lost control.

"Let me help you. Please." Ambrosius places both hands on his shoulder guards, and that snaps Ballister ot of his spiral. "At the very least, let me help remove your armour. My room or yours, you can pick."

"...Mine," Ballister says. "It's closer."

Ambrosius nods, then walks ahead to clear the way but remains within arm's reach of Ballister the whole time. After they leave the other knights behind, all it takes is another right turn to reach a room with a wooden plaque on it, labelled (or more accurately, scratched with a penknife) "Boldheart".

It's the only room in the entire floor with a non-golden plaque, because everyone thought he'd drop out any day now, all the way up to the knighting ceremony. Why bother with a golden plaque for the commoner, if he wasn't going to stay for long?

"Come on." Ambrosius pushes open the door, then reaches out with an upturned palm. "No one else touched your things while you were gone. I made sure of it."

That still doesn't prepare Ballister for the absolute mess his room is. As he walks right past Ambrosius, he sees papers scattered across the floor, chairs pushed over, various knick knacks thrown onto crumpled duvets after close inspection. A part of him vaguely registers that Ambrosius said "No one else" and not "No one", which means Ambrosius was the one who searched his room after the Queen's death. Which also means he was the first one to barge in here, looking for proof of his guilt.

Ballister remembers now. His Ambrosius, his first and only love, his best friend, had been leading the manhunt against him after the Queen was killed. It was bad enough that Ambrosius didn't protect him, he led the charge in hunting him down too.

"Here," Ambrosius says from behind, his hands snaking onto his shoulder guards again. "Let me—"

Ballister flinches away from his touch and whirls around to look at him. When their gazes meet again, Ballister catches a flash of surprise and hurt.

"Bal, I'm not going to hurt you." Ambrosius steps forward. "I promise."

Deep down, Ballister knows Ambrosius is back on his side. He wouldn't have bothered to carry a passed-out fugitive on his back, let alone do so while hover-mobiling across the realm. But deeper down, he knows he can't forgive him just like that. He's been through enough petty arguments with Ambrosius over the years to know that just because they can speak to each other again without feeling ill, doesn't mean the wounds of their betrayal have fully healed.

"You led the manhunt when I was still wanted for Her Majesty's death," Ballister said numbly. "You wanted me dead just as much as the rest of them."

"What? No, Bal, I—"

"Don't call me that right now," Bal cuts him off, that familiar invisible sword plunging into his heart again and forcing tears to the very edge of falling. "I know you love me, and I know you were just trying to do your duty, but you were all I had, Ambrosius! Was it that hard for you to choose me?"

Ambrosius' hands falls to his sides limply and he casts his gaze downwards. He doesn't remember to close the door until he turns to check for eavesdroppers. "I...I didn't know what to do. The entire Academy was baying for your blood, and Todd was volunteering to lead the hunt."

"Of course he did," Ballister sighs. "And what, you wanted to arrest me yourself?"

"No! I mean, yes, but not for the reasons you think!" Ambrosius runs a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh. "You weren't there, Bal! Sorry, Ballister," he corrects himself, "You didn't hear the things he said he'd do to you once he caught you! I was half certain he'd just make up an excuse to shoot you dead, then claim his trigger finger was itching!"

Ballister isn't surprised, honestly. That man's been out to get him since the day he gatecrashed their first day of training and snatched his sword to destroy a straw-monster.

"I thought the only way it could end even remotely in your favour was if I led the hunt, threw you in a cell myself and made sure no one else hurt you while I guarded it!" Ambrosius is gesturing wildly now, and his voice was getting more and more hysterical. "It was such a dumb plan, now that I know the Director was responsible! But it seemed so foolproof at the time! Oh, and top of all freaking that, I chopped off your arm! Your sword arm!"

Ambrosius whirls around as he says this, drawing attention to Ballister's robotic arm. Ballister blinks. He's honestly forgotten that his right arm was his sword arm. He'd spent so many months perfecting the robot arm, wielding a sword with it hadn't been an issue at all.

"Todd wouldn't have gone easy on you if he were in charge! It was either hunting down the love of my life myself, or watching that dipstick kill you right in front of me! I didn't know how else to protect you! Please, Ballister, you have to believe me."

Ambrosius falls to his knees with a clank, bringing Ballister to his feet at once. "Ambrosius!"

But Ambrosius isn't listening. He's in another one of his spirals, where he can't stop thinking about the worst thing that could happen to him if he isn't perfect all day, every day. He's breathing in panicked gulps, as if there isn't enough air in the entire Institute to stop his own guilt from suffocating him.

"Ambrosius. Look at me, Ambie," Ballister gets on his knees and tips Ambrosius' chin up with a thumb and his index finger's knuckle. "Follow my breathing, OK? In...Out...In...Out..."

As Ambrosius' breathing steadies, Ballister winds his hands around his shoulders. "I'm going to remove your armour, OK? It'll help you breathe better."

"Wait, what?" Ambrosius puts his own hands over his and gently pries them off. "No, Bal, I was supposed to remove your armour. I can't let you do this."

Ballister takes his hands back. "What if..." he puts them on Ambrosius' armour again, "You remove my armour, and I remove yours? Just like when we were cadets."

Ambrosius meets his gaze, his pale face making his blush even more obvious despite the dim lighting. "Oh. Um...yeah. Yeah, that works."

They get to work after that. Ballister takes off Ambrosius' shoulder guards first while he's removing his arm guards, then Ambrosius does the same for him. They repeat the process piece by piece until eventually, it's just them sitting on the floor in sweat-soaked undershirts again, free of the gold and black burdens they carried. Ballister is about to lean against his bed when he notices Ambrosius' shirt.

"Is that... Mine?" He squints at the shirt's chest area. Yes, he recognises the cheese sauce stain from the last time he ate nachos in that shirt. Ambrosius had been waving a chip around while telling some dumb story he can't remember, and he'd flicked some of the sauce onto him by accident.

"Yes." Ambrosius crosses his legs. "Most of your clothes are with me, actually. I kind of...maybe...stole them while I was searching your room."

Ballister pretends to gasp. "Ambrosius Goldenloin, stealing vital evidence from the alleged Queen Killer's lair? Scandalous!"

"Haha, very funny, Bal." Ambrosius gets up to shove him playfully, but both of them freeze when his hand makes contact. Without Ambrosius' gloves or his shoulder guards, Ballister can actually feel the warmth of his palm through his borderline-threadbare shirt. That familiar, soothing warmth he'd spent months desperately trying to tell himself he didn't miss.

Before Ambrosius can remove his hand, Ballister covers it with his own. Then, out of habit, he brushes his thumb back and forth over Ambrosius' hand, like he used to do when they held hands underneath the table during boring lectures.

"Bal?"

"Yes, Ambrosius?"

Ambrosius gulps before looking him in the eye. "I'm trying very, very hard not to kiss you right now so if you'd remove your hand—"

"Then stop trying," Ballister whispers.

Ambrosius stares at him. "What?" he breathes.

Ballister's hand moves to cup his cheek. What should he say? "Kiss me"? No, that's too direct. "Come here"? No, that's even worse. They've kissed hundreds of times before, and Ballister doesn't like ordering Ambrosius to do things, anyway. He prefers it the other way round.

"I missed you too," Ballister ends up saying.

What happens next can only be described as gravity. Both of them fell into each other, as surely as the sun sets beyond the horizon every dusk. As always, Ballister tastes faint hints of red pepper and honey—Ambrosius loves spicy food almost as much as he loves drinking spoonfuls of pure honey dissolved in warm water.

Just another taste, Ballister thinks to himself. He's always so careful not to take up space, to give everything he's got to those who need his help. Please, Gloreth, allow me to be selfish with him and him alone. I won't ask for anything else but him.

Ambrosius leans against him until his back hits the bed, and Ballister tangles his hands in his hair as they fall deeper into each other's embrace. He uncrosses his legs to wrap them around Ambrosius's waist, pulls him closer and—

"Ew, gross!" Todd's insufferable voice grates on Ballister's ears. "Get a room, you two!"

Ambrosius breaks the kiss and grumbles a curse word Ballister refuses to repeat before turning around. "We are in a room! Didn't your mother teach you to knock, Thoddeus?"

Ambrosius gets up with alarming speed and hurls something at Todd, who slams the door shut before it can hit him.

"Fine! Whatever! I'll get the doctor to un-break my arm, and you two can ca-poodle in there until dawn for all I care!"

Ballister waits until the clank-clank-clank of Todd's boots disappear down the hallway before he mutters, "Does he know it's pronounced 'canoodle', or does he seriously think the word's derived from 'poodle'?"

"Don't know, don't care, don't plan to find out," Ambrosius says with an air of finality, then grabs Ballister's hand to pull him up. "Come on, let's go."

"Go? Go where?"

"My knight's quarters," Ambrosius says. "It's got a hot bath, a bunch of pillows..."

Ballister chuckles. "Ambrosius, I don't need all those things—"

"And the bed's so soft, it feels like you're sleeping on clouds."

"...Interesting. You'll have to show me."

Angsty Goldenheart Fic Idea

Adding on to this post, I now wish to read a fic exploring this idea. Ballister, because obviously he has zero context, now believes that Ambrosius volunteering to lead the manhunt for him was proof that his boyfriend had also turned on him, and it breaks his heart, and try as he might, he could not help feeling the deep, sting of betrayal. It hurts worse than the loss of his arm

Then, of course post movie, Ambrosius finds out and is so guilty and tries to make Bal understand because YOU WEREN'T THERE AND THEY WERE SAYING ALL THESE HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU AND TODD WAS GOING TO HURT YOU AND IT KILLED ME ON THE INSIDE BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD PROTECT YOU, BAL PLEASE UNDERSTAND.

Then they kiss and make up and all is well <33333

[violettelueur]

RYŌMEN SUKUNA || WASN’T SO BAD

| featuring : ryōmen sukuna from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors, swearing and mention of death, sort of spoils parts of the manga up to chapter 30 (so beware)

| form : imagine

| word count : 1553

| published : 20 november

| request : Hiiii again!! 😚 I hope your doing well :3 may I please request another sukuna/itadori x fem reader imagine where mc is dating yuuji and after getting acquainted with sukuna - they ended up bonding too?? Sukuna kinda develops a protective instinct over her and whenever he switches with yuuji - he keeps a protective hold on the back of her neck?? I see guys doing that and I want sukuna to do the same to me lol (*≧∀≦*) thank you!!

| barista’s notes : let me admit this, i’m not confident that i answered this request properly at all, and lowkey ashamed by that ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ also i’m not really confident with the battle scene i did here but when am i every confident...hahaha ʕ – ᴥ – ʔ other than that, i hope you enjoy you cup of classic black cofee (jujutsu kaisen request) and please come again and order when i reopen the cafe!

“Damn, I’m really screwed now,” you muttered to yourself once you saw your whole new surroundings. Pure darkness enveloped you as multiple figures on what seemed to be arms surrounding you like a cage were present within your view as your enemy unleashed their domain expansion on you.

At this current moment in time, you were fighting an unregistered special grade curse that had managed to get inside a school called Satozakuro High. From what you gathered from your boyfriend Yuji and Nanami, this whole situation had started since the investigation of the murders back in Kinema Cinema,  where the sole witness - Junpei Yoshino, a classmate of the three murder victims  - managed to somehow converse with the same special grade curse that you were facing right now.

“Let me admit, the name of your domain expansion is sort of narcissistic, humble yourself would you?” you sarcastically asked, trying to figure out a way to get around this situation as you knew your soul was dangerously the line - there was no way you let something so disgusting try to transfigure it.

“For someone that’s going to die, you seem calm,” the curse stated to which before this happened, you learnt that it was named Mahito.

You had to keep calm. Ever since you became a jujutsu sorcerer, you hated when enemies would comment on your fears during battle, you hated when they would mock you for being fearful for even a second, you hated when they told you that they could hear your heart pounding in anticipation. You just purely hated that.

“Well, what do you want me to be? Fearful?” you then asked, tilting your head to the side as you rested your katana over your shoulders - only to let the tip touch the wall of the domain leaving you to realise that the wall was quite thin.

‘Maybe there is a way I can get out of this? Is my domain expansion more polished enough to overcome this one?’ you thought to yourself, before wondering about what could be happening on the outside of the same wall right now. 

                                          ꕥ

Outside the domain, Itadori was helplessly on the other side punching the wall with all of his might as he was worried about what was happening to his girlfriend on the inside.

“Don’t fuck with me!” Itadori screamed as he continued to punch the wall with his cursed energy-infused fists, desperately trying to gain some damage to the wall to no avail.

‘Why was Y/N the only one imprisoned?’ he asked himself as if he was going to get an answer back - that was if Sukuna was willing to answer his question. However, the King of Curses didn’t have a single answer himself. To say he was worried about you was an underplaying statement yet so out of character for him.

Ever since the Sukuna was introduced to you by his vessel himself, he couldn’t help but become intrigued with you like he was with Fushiguro. He wanted to know more, more and more. From all his knowledge about past sorcerers and clans, you were an exception to his vast understanding of the jujutsu world. An exception that he wanted to protect. 

You weren’t from a clan or related to one in the slightest, yet you had the capability to have inherited a technique that any powerful family would desire to have for themselves or for their offspring. You were a master weapons specialist - just like 2nd year Maki Zenin - only the major difference between both of you was the fact that you could manifest and construct those cursed weapons from only using your curse energy. 

This fact surprised Sukuna himself when he was fighting you and Fushiguro back at the Eishu Juvenile Detention Centre. Vividly he remembers holding you up by the throat against a wall, only for you suddenly swiftly swing your arm with a small but sharp military knife in hand surprising him completely on how you were able to gain another weapon without him knowing, only to find out seconds later that you had constructed the weapon with nothing but your curse energy once he moved out the way, escaping with a just small graze on his cheek.

“So you’re able to create cursed weapons ha?” Sukuna asked as he placed his hand on his chin like he was thinking before staring at the blade that was in your hand. Continuing to stare that the weapon, the King of curses slowly began to realise that the weapon you had created was classed as a special grade tool, causing him to wonder what power you possessed to even have the ability to create something so small yet so powerful.

“How in the world did you do that?” Sukuna muttered to himself, before quickly dodging your attack as you tried to assault him with another blade that you quickly manifested in your other hand, surprising the special grade curse even more on how quickly you were able to create more weapons even after just constructing the miniature knife seconds before.

“Sorry Sukuna, but I don’t like talking during battle and I also need to get my boyfriend back real quick,” you commented before you used your cursed energy to cause your military knife to disappear, only to quickly construct your classic black katana to try to close the distance between the both of you only to fail once again.

‘I can see why the brat likes you Y/N, I’m also liking where this is going’

                                        ꕥ

Still looking at your surroundings, you were worried about the amount of time you had left until you were finished. The mental confrontation that was going on in your head was straining as you weren’t sure if your only plan was the best for the situation that you were in. There was a high chance that it could fail but the small percent of success was what was bother you to the max

‘It’s my only way to get out of this situation right now, if it doesn’t work then at least I tried’ you thought, before stabbing your black katana on the ground in front of you to which then you slowly started to pour your curse energy into the blade

“Ha? What are you planning to do? You’re already dead, so might as well accept your fate,” Mahito playful teased you, as he tried to break your stern composure.

“Domain Expansi-”

However, before you could even complete your words, you unexpectedly heard a sound of a loud crack emitting behind you causing you to completely snap out of your concentration leading to the blue aura around your sword to slowly disappear. 

Before you could even turn a single inch of your head around, you suddenly felt something brush your hair aside before a warm compress was placed on the back of your neck leading you to let out a shaky breath out of fear until you felt a sense of safety enclosing around you. The feeling of his nails gently grazing your skin caused you to shiver before he lightly squeezed your neck in reassurance, trying to convey to you that he wasn’t going to hurt you.

“I had it under control, Sukuna,” you muttered quietly before he tenderly pulled you back and had you turned around to face over his shoulder leading you to see the large crack that was created behind you that allowed Sukuna to enter into the domain. 

“I know, I just didn’t want to see you hurt,” Sukuna replied to which then your suddenly heard what seemed to be something being slashed, prompting you the want to turn over only for Sukuna to tighten his hold on your neck - but not to the point where you were in pain but rather him not wanting you to see what he had done.

As if he was trying to calm you down, you felt his thumb beginning to slide up and down, sometimes brushing against the bottom of your scalp leaving you to slowly begin to melt in his hold. “There was no way I was going to allow something like him to touch you,” the King of Curses said to you, leading you to feel nothing but a sense of security as you started to let your guard down causing you to lay your head on his shoulder.

Gripping onto his - well Itadori’s - school jacket, you took a deep breath in before letting a deep breath out as you calmed down your heart, not realising your heart was pounding in fear until now. You hated the fact that he could now feel the fear radiating from your body. You hated how he now knew how fearful you were for your life. You hated how it knew all of it.

“It’s okay,” Sukuna calmly stated, causing you to lift your head to face him only to see him stare at you back intensely with his glowing beautiful red eyes. “Nothing is going to hurt you, not in my sight,” he proudly said to you as if he was making a promise to you before giving your neck one last little squeeze to tell you that you were safe in his embrace.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to let him know.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to fear.

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH19

People weren’t happy with how things went down with Alya in the original MDCSP, so I hope this version suffices. ;)

Previous     First      Next     AO3

---------------------------

Chapter 19: Miss Missing You

Alya chewed her nails, pivoting back and forth in her desk chair as Lila settled on her bed. Her thoughts raced too fast for Alya to make sense of them, and Lila’s grave expression did little to calm her nerves. When Alya told her about Adrien and Chloe, she insisted on meeting up. Maybe this way they could both talk to Ladybug, but something was off about Lila. Her jaw was a little too tense, and those green eyes swirled with an intensity Alya couldn’t place. What was going on?

“Is Ladybug on her way too? We have to let her know what they’re plotting,” Alya said, but when Lila remained quiet, she asked, “What?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Lila said. “This is going to be hard for me, but I trust you over anyone else.”

“What’s wrong?” Alya asked, and Lila shifted her weight, tucking a strand of long hair behind her ear.

“Well, Ladybug and I…we kind of had a falling out.” Lila lowered her gaze to her lap.

“What?”

“Remember when Chloe tried to impersonate her to make everyone hate me? Well, I told Ladybug about it, and that she shouldn’t trust Chloe anymore, but then last night she gave her back her Miraculous without consulting me.” Lila recounted. “I tried to talk to her and understand why she’d trust Chloe again after what she did to me, but Ladybug freaked out on me and told me not to question her judgment.”

“For real?” Alya gasped. “That’s not like her.”

“I know,” Lila said, “and after what you told me on the phone, I definitely think something weird is going on with her.”

“You don’t think Chloe is manipulating her, do you?” she asked.

Lila pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Not Chloe. I think that…well, I’m sorry, but I think Marinette is behind all of this.”

“Marinette?” Alya shot a glance at the Ladyblog pulled up on her computer, a sinking feeling in her gut.

She hadn’t posted about Queen Bee’s return—couldn’t bring herself to. Something was definitely off with Ladybug, but was it really all Marinette’s doing? Marinette wasn’t one for petty revenge, but maybe she had changed since she left. Or maybe Alya just never knew her like she thought she did.

Alya thought back to the night she was akumatized, the distant look in her bff’s eyes. She’d seemed tired, like all the fight had been drained from her. She didn’t even argue when Alya suggested they stop being friends, a fact that had haunted Alya ever since. Why had Marinette abandoned her so easily? Surely if her stories were to be believed, she would have fought harder, right? Wasn’t the truth worth fighting for?

“You said so yourself, Chloe and Adrien said they were going to get Ladybug to talk about me for Marinette. I think she’s manipulating all of them to get back at me because she can’t let go even after she’s been gone for a month now,” Lila said.

“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would Marinette do that? When I last spoke to her, she didn’t want anything to do with you or anyone here really,” Alya said. “Well, except Adrien, I guess, but she’s always been head-over-heels for him.”

“She’s obsessed! She’s never liked me, and I never understood why. The only thing I’ve been able to figure out is that she didn’t like me talking to Adrien, so now she’s lured him over to her side and fed him all kinds of lies about me. I don’t even like him that way, but she’s just so insecure and jealous that she thought Adrien would fall in love with me because of all of my accomplishments.” Lila hugged a pillow to her chest. “Now she’s taken one of my best friends away from me too!”

Alya crossed the room to sit beside her on the bed, draping an arm over her shoulders. “I’m sorry, girl. Maybe we can talk to Ladybug and convince her not to do that interview tomorrow.”

“I don’t think we can,” Lila whimpered. “She hasn’t responded to any of my calls ever since the Queen Bee thing. She’s on their side now.”

“Are you sure? I’ve met Ladybug a bunch of times, and she would totally pick up on it if something fishy was going on,” Alya said.

“Watch the interview tomorrow. If Ladybug says anything about me that sounds like them, then you’ll know I’m telling the truth,” Lila said.

Alya pursed her lips but didn’t argue. Lila’s story was just as probable as theirs at this point, and she was right. All they could do was watch the interview and see what happened. For their sake, she hoped that Chloe and Adrien’s plan failed, and Ladybug never mentioned Lila. But a heavy pit was already forming in Alya’s stomach, filling her with dread for the coming day. How had she gotten herself into the middle of all this drama? And how long would it be before the truth was finally revealed?

♪♫♪ Don’t Blame Me ♪♫♪

“How long before we give up?” Adrien asked the next afternoon. He leaned against the railing while Chloe manned the spotlight beside him.

“It’s hasn’t even been 20 minutes, Adrikins. I’ve sat up here for entire akuma battles before.” Chloe chided.

“Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous,” he said, letting a breath pass his lips.

Chloe spun on him with a scowl, jabbing her finger into his chest. “Oh no, you are not backing out this time. We’re doing this, so just think about Dupain-Cheng’s awful split-ends or whatever it is you need to keep you motivated.”

Adrien pursed his lips as Chloe turned back to her bee signal. She was right. No backing out this time. Lila was going down once and for all, then Marinette could finally be free. Marinette…

His heart fluttered, warming his cheeks. It would be obvious after today that he was helping Chloe take down Lila. Being intentionally cruel wasn’t in his nature, but he’d do anything to protect the people he loved. To protect the girl he loved.

It had taken him longer than it should have to realize his feelings for her, but now they burned so brightly, he had to wonder how he’d ever missed them. Marinette was a wonderful girl and a dear friend. If ever there was a person to fight for, it was her. She’d understand why he did all of this. It was all for her—always for her.

His heart ached with longing. Now that Marinette went to a different school, he couldn’t see her as often as he used to. Sometimes they went several days without seeing each other, and his heart grew heavier the longer they stayed apart. At least when he loved Ladybug, he got to see her every day when they fought akumas or patrolled the city, but even that wasn’t enough.

Adrien had spent too much of his life alone. Couldn’t the universe give him just one person to cure his loneliness? Missing Marinette was torture. What was she doing right now? Was she thinking about him?

He pulled out his phone and typed a simple message: what’s up?

Ugh, no, that was lame.

Hey cutie ;) what are you up to?

No, too forward.

I was just thinking about you

Too clingy. He backspaced over his message again, eyebrows knitting together in concentration. Why was flirting so much harder as Adrien? If he were Chat Noir, he’d just drop a few cat puns and tell her how pretty she was, but that might be a little abrasive coming from Adrien. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off. After all, she almost kissed him in the garden too. That meant she loved him back, right?

Pressing his lips into a determined line, he typed another message and hit send without overthinking it.

Hey, how’s your day been?

A minute passed before his phone buzzed with a reply: busy. I’m finalizing my designs for Clara. I present to her next week and im super nervous!

Aww don’t be clara is gonna love them.

I hope so! she replied. So what are you up to today?

Uhh im working on a school project with chloe. He lied. We have to interview someone we look up to, and shes demanding we interview ladybug so weve been standing on the roof with her bee signal for like 30 minutes.

Wow ladybug huh? I hope she shows up for you guys. Anyway these designs aren’t going to finish themselves so ill talk to you later! Bye!

good luck!

He smiled down at her messages. Marinette was always running a million miles an hour working on some project or another. She was so driven and passionate—something Adrien deeply admired. Clara would love her designs, and he and Chloe would definitely take down Lila this time. Then he and Marinette could be together without having to worry about anything. They could move to the suburbs and buy a cozy home for their three kids, a dog, and a hamster named-

“Looking for me?” Adrien and Chloe spun around, and Ladybug cocked a hip. “What’s the emergency?”

“Uhh,” Adrien stammered.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “We have to interview one of our personal heroes for a school project, so we picked you. Isn’t that right, Adrikins?” She nudged him with her elbow.

Think about Marinette. Everything was for Marinette. The tears she’d spilled, the pain she’d suffered… Adrien was going to take it all away. Lila would never hurt her again.

“Yeah. Do you have time?” Adrien asked.

Ladybug glanced between them and smiled. “I have a few minutes. Make it quick.”

“Excellent.” Chloe clapped her hands together and paced toward the stairs. “Everything is set up in my suite.”

Adrien took a deep breath as Ladybug fell into step beside him. A month ago being so close to her would have sent his heart into overdrive, but now his heart was pounding for a different reason. Ladybug hated liars. Deceiving her was a direct betrayal of her trust. Even if his feelings for her had changed, he was still her partner, and manipulating her like this didn’t feel right.

“Wait.” He stopped abruptly and caught Ladybug’s wrist. Chloe was already through the doorway to the stairs, and he sent her a silent apology just in case his next words ruined everything. “Chloe and I lied to you. This isn’t for a school project.”

“Then what’s all this about?” Ladybug asked.

“It’s…” Adrien took a deep breath and continued. “You remember Lila, right? She lied about you saving her and how you two are bffs?”

Ladybug sobered. “Yeah?”

“Well, her lies have gotten out of hand, and she hurt someone important to me. Chloe and I planned to trick you into admitting you two were never friends, so that everyone can finally see the truth about her. The interview was just a coverup,” Adrien explained, hanging his head low. “We shouldn’t have lied to you. I’m sorry.”

Ladybug eyed him with pursed lips, those blue eyes working out a solution like he were one of her lucky charms. She seemed to come to a conclusion, her face softening. “Thank you for being honest with me.”

“If you don’t want to help us, I won’t blame you. I know it’s wrong to seek revenge,” Adrien said.

A knowing smile spread across her lips. “That friend of yours must be really special to you.”

“What?”

“For you to resort to something like this, you must care about your friend—the one Lila hurt—a lot,” she said, then with a sigh added, “I don’t normally condone revenge, but I know how dangerous Lila can be. I’ve almost lost my Miraculous because of her several times, so I think you’re right. It’s time everyone learned the truth about Lila Rossi.”

Adrien blinked. “So, wait… You’re going to help us?”

“I made a promise to keep Paris safe, and if we continue to let Lila go unchecked, she’s only going to put more people in danger,” Ladybug said. “It’s time someone put her in her place.”

“Hurry up, you two! I have a hair appointment this evening, and I do not want to be late!” Chloe shouted from the doorway.

Adrien held Ladybug’s gaze, and she gave him an encouraging nod. “Uh, coming!” he called.

He gestured Ladybug ahead, following close behind her, cheeks hot. This was really happening. Ladybug was going to help them stop Lila. After today, everyone would know the truth, and Marinette would be free. They all would.

“Ladybug, you sit on this side.” Chloe directed. “Adrikins and I will sit on this side.”

“Okay,” Ladybug said, sliding onto the couch smoothly.

Adrien took the seat across from her, wiping his palms on his jeans while Chloe barked orders at her butler. Satisfied with the camera angle, Chloe sat beside him and fixed her hair in her compact before calling “action.”

Chloe’s butler—Adrien couldn’t remember his name—started the Instagram live, broadcasting to all of Chloe’s followers. There was no turning back now.

“Hello out there, my little worker bees. Your queen is here with some very special guests today,” Chloe cooed in her token attention-seeking voice. “My favorite people in the whole world besides myself, obviously—Adrien and Ladybug!”

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Adrien waved.

“As you all know, I helped Ladybug defeat another akuma last weekend. Being Queen Bee again was such an honor, and I admit, even I have people I look up to,” she said, flipping her ponytail. “So, Ladybug, thank you for allowing me to become a superheroine. Queen Bee is truly an inspiration.”

“Uh, sure.” Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Chat Noir and I always appreciate help from our allies.”

“You heard it here, everyone! Ladybug values my help,” Chloe said, and Adrien cleared his throat. “Now, onto the topic of today’s livestream. People everywhere are inspired by superheroes like me and Ladybug, so today we are going to give you all the inside scoop on what it takes to be a hero.”

“That’s right, Chloe,” Adrien piped up. “I don’t have superpowers, so I have to ask: what’s it like being a superhero, Ladybug?”

“Well, everyone thinks that having superpowers is all fun and games, but in reality, Chat Noir and I have a huge responsibility. Defending Paris every day requires sacrifice, and we know the whole city is counting on us to succeed. It’s a lot of pressure,” Ladybug said.

“Of course, I know what it’s like being a superhero myself, but can you tell everyone how overwhelming it is to save the day all the time?” Chloe prompted.

“Yeah, totally. It’s a lot of work fighting akumas. Sometimes Hawkmoth makes supervillains at the worst times, and I have to drop everything to go save the city. Leading a double life is challenging, and sometimes it even impacts my day-to-day life. School, friends, family—I’m always rushing all over the place juggling two lives.” Ladybug admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “But I’m happy to do it. Paris is my home, and it’s an honor to defend it. Besides, when the going gets tough, I know I can count on my partners to have my back.”

“So, when you pick a new partner, what qualities do you look for in a person that makes them a good fit to work with you?” Adrien asked.

“I look for people with courage and good intentions. Often times, the people I pick are ones who have stepped up to do the right thing, even if it’s hard. They’re people I know I can trust,” Ladybug said.

“Would you say you consider your allies close personal friends?” Chloe beamed, flashing the camera a wink.

“Well, I don’t know all of them in real life like you, Chloe,” Ladybug said with a cautious glance at the camera. “Sometimes they are people I meet during a battle that impress me, and who prove themselves to be trustworthy.”

“And how do you know if you can trust someone?” Adrien asked. “Do you consult anyone for recommendations, or do you operate on the fly?”

“Most of the time when I give someone a Miraculous, it’s because they’ve demonstrated their character to me. Every person I give a Miraculous to has earned their right to wear it either by helping me or showing that they’re willing to sacrifice to save others. The decision about who gets to wear one and who doesn’t is deeply personal to me,” Ladybug answered. “Not even Chat Noir knows the identities of our allies. It’s something I don’t share with anyone.” She shot Chloe a stern look. “Under normal circumstances.”

“So, you pick the allies by yourself?” Adrien followed up.

“Yes. In the middle of a battle, I wouldn’t even have time to consult anyone if I wanted to.”

“In other words, if anyone were to—I don’t know—claim that they help you choose your partners, they’d be a liar, right?” Chloe added.

“Yeah, I don’t talk to anyone about who I pick.” Ladybug shook her head.

“Ya know, Ladybug, there are some people out there that claim to be your best friend. How do you feel about people lying about knowing you to make themselves more popular?” Chloe asked.

Ladybug locked eyes with Adrien, the weight of their mission heavy on both of their shoulders. She clasped her hands together in her lap and said, “As I’m sure both of you are aware, there will always be people who use your name for their own selfish gain, but I want everyone out there to know that I take my job very seriously. Protecting all of you is my number one priority.”

She took a deep breath. “Being a superhero is dangerous, and that’s why, with the exception of Chat Noir and my trusted allies, Ladybug doesn’t have friends.”

“So, anyone who says they’re your friend is a liar, right?” Adrien asked.

“Yes, and they’re putting themselves in danger. Hawkmoth will stop at nothing to get my Miraculous, so please, if you’re out there… Do the right thing, and tell the truth.” Ladybug pleaded to the camera.

“It’s utterly pathetic when people lie about who they know just to get attention,” Chloe sighed in disgust. “You heard it here, my little bees! Chat Noir and I are Ladybug’s only friends.”

“Well, I’d consider you more of an ally than a frie-”

“And as one of Ladybug’s bffs, I want all of the losers out there to buzz off! Ladybug has much more important things to do, like spending time with me,” Chloe said.

“Right.” Ladybug’s yoyo beeped, and she glanced down at it briefly. “I should really get going. A hero’s work is never done.”

“Of course. Thank you for your time, Ladybug,” Adrien said, shaking her hand.

“No problem. It’s important to me that everyone in Paris knows I’m doing everything I can to keep you all safe, and the people I choose to fight beside me are people I truly trust. We’ll all keep fighting hard to protect this city,” she said, waving two fingers. “Bug out!”

“Well, that does it for this livestream, little bees. Your queen will see you all again next time. Bye-bye!”

♪♫♪ Impossible Year ♪♫♪

“So, anyone who says they’re your friend is a liar, right?”

“Yes.”

Lila was right. They really had gotten to Ladybug. Alya had done her best not to think about Marinette since their falling out. Remembering her old bff was too painful and confusing. Everything Alya thought she knew changed the moment Lila came to their school. The person she trusted became a stranger overnight. Alya wanted to believe that Marinette would never align herself with Chloe or orchestrate a hostile takedown just because she was jealous, but Alya had seen her do crazier things to win Adrien.

“I’m doing everything I can to keep you all safe, and the people I choose to fight beside me are people I truly trust.”

How was Chloe more trustworthy than Alya? All that was necessary for the triumph of evil was that good people do nothing. She’d known from day one that Chloe was evil, so why couldn’t Ladybug see it?  Why would Ladybug align herself with the queen of all evil over someone who dedicated herself to doing the right thing? Was this really all Marinette’s doing? And why?

Was Marinette really that desperate to win Adrien? Did she hate Lila so much that she’d willingly team up with her worst enemy to get back at her for stealing attention away from the boy she liked? From where Alya was sitting, it looked like Marinette already had him, and Lila had always been clear that she wasn’t interested in him that way. Why go through all that trouble to get Ladybug to denounce Lila just to win a boy? But if Marinette was involved with Ladybug…

It all made sense now. The reason Ladybug had picked someone else to wield her Miraculous. How long had they been plotting all of this? And how could Ladybug trust Marinette’s word over Alya’s without even trying to hear her side of the story? Or Lila’s? How could Ladybug not see that she was being manipulated? She was a hero, and one of the best Alya had ever seen. So why was she fighting for the wrong side?

Her head spun, and she gripped the side of her desk for support. Someone needed to tell Ladybug the truth.

“You want to save Ladybug from those you deem evil. Let me help you, Ladyblogger.”

Alya jumped at the sinister voice in her head. She smoothed her thumb over her phone screen, now glowing with dark energy. A cold feeling washed over her, all of her pain and confusion bubbling to the surface. In the center of it all stood her determined resolve, driving her to give in.

Someone needed to tell Ladybug the truth. Someone like her.

[justpan]

Title: Unwilling Bride

Summary: At last it is time for the battle between Pirates and Lost Boys.

Pairing: Peter x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31

Everything was on track.

The camp was moved, the fences were ready; even better, Tootles found a way to put them all on a single pulley system.

One rope cut and all the fences would drop down in sync, that meant that the archers wouldn’t need to waste arrows trying to trigger them each individually.

Peter made good on his word, he was watching the pirates, constantly. You wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t sleeping at all.

All he seemed to do was sit up in the tallest trees he could find, send his shadow to locate the enemy, and report his findings to Felix who was patrolling the new camp.

‘Any news?’ you asked as Felix approached you.

‘They are less than a day away from the battle ground.’

‘Finally, guess we’d better get our asses in gear, can’t be late for our own party.’ you smiled excitedly.

‘BOYS!!! GET READY, THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START!!!’ Pan yelled as he marched into the camp.

His back was straight and he had a glint in his eye, the smile on his face was shark like and dangerous.

Like the smile you saw the first day you met him, it was as if he was on top of the world.

‘You heard me didn’t you? Get to the battle ground, or you’ll miss all the fun!’ he shouted.

The boys cheered nice and loud, and almost instantly the camp was hectic.

Everyone was running around grabbing their weapons, already laced with dreamshade.

‘You ready squirrel?’ Rufio asked.

‘As ready as I can be, little bird.’ you smiled.

‘I bet I can take down more pirates than you.’ he grinned.

‘Oh, yeah? What’s the wager?’

‘How about...if I win we try to take things further.’ Rufio suggested.

Your breath got caught in your throat, you hadn’t expected that to be on his mind right before you ran into battle.

‘And if I win?’

‘Then...we’ll do whatever you want.’

‘And if I want to take things further...what then?’ you asked, a small smile pulling at your lip.

‘Then I guess it’s a win win for us.’

Well, it looked like you were both on the same page, you both wanted to. There was a battle hours away, and by the time you got back to your room the two of them would be bloody and exhausted.

You couldn’t think of a more perfect way to lose your virginity.

‘A win win.’ you smiled.

‘Yeah?’ Rufio asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

‘Yes, really, I’m still gonna take out more geezers than you.’ you grinned.

‘We’ll see.’

‘Hey! Be cute later, we gotta get moving and fast.’ Felix said, dragging the two of you along with the others.

You quickly shook away your feelings and started getting mentally ready for the battle; you couldn’t afford any distractions. Because this wasn’t training, it was a real battle with an opponent that would kill you if you gave them the chance.

Everything needed to go right, the fences, the arrows, the fight. Most important was the feeling.

This fight needed to feel like a guaranteed win; every Lost Boy needed to believe they would live through this fight and every pirate they let live needed to feel like it was a mistake to challenge The Lost Boys.

Once you all arrived everyone got in position, you saw Rufio taking his place with the clubs, Felix with the clubs.

Pan was standing in the middle of the clearing, watching over everything.

You walked over to him, to go over everything one last time.

‘How long?’

‘They should be here in less than an hour.’ he replied.

‘Their numbers?’

‘Less than fifty.’

‘Good, we got the mass and the skills...but I feel like something is wrong.’ you said to yourself.

‘Whatever it is we have no time to dwell on it, get down.’ Pan said.

You nodded and used your magic to put a door into the hollow tree behind Pan, you stood there and charmed the door to close.

In the dark you made sure you still had enough room for your arms to move the way you needed to work your magic.

With that done you put up a spell on the bark in front of you so you could see the clearing.

It looked like everyone was in place, now it was just a matter of time.

You watched in anticipation as the quiet settled over the camp, all you heard was your own breathing.

At last you could hear a rustle from the trees, and watched as the pirates entered the clearing.

‘I take it you are not here to deliver a box of cakes.’ Pan said smugly.

‘No I’m not.’ the one you knew to be Captain Hook said in false politeness.

‘Then why are you and your friends here? Did you want to play a game?’

‘No games this time Pan.’

‘There’s always a game, and this one is called...Pirates and Hunters. You can be the pirates.’ Pan grinned before he whistled.

The arrow zipped through the air and like magic the fences dropped down and closed in the clearing.

Immediately the clubs and swords jumped out of the trees.

‘Let’s play!’ Pan yelled.

You watched the pirates pull out their swords and listened to their war cry as the much anticipated battle finally began.

All you wanted was to be in the middle of it, but you had to keep your eyes sharp, that was your job; make sure none of your own were killed in the scuffle.

So you watched every pirate and followed every arrow to make sure only pirates were hit by them.

At the left you saw Tootles fighting with one man while another was behind, his sword ready to stab the boy in the back so you shot out your hand and used your magic to yank the pirate all the way back to your tree.

His back hit the bark with a loud crack that came from either his skull or his spine cracking, either way he was certainly not getting up ever again.

Without taking a moment to think of the first man you’ve ever killed you got back to following the battle.

A few arrows were missing targets and planting themselves in trees and in the dirt, whenever you were sure no boys were in immediate danger you would take up the arrows and have them hit any pirates that were near it.

It seemed as if everything was going perfectly, only old fat bodies were on the ground and at least six were dropped by the fences.

You looked to your right and saw Rufio, he was fighting two pirates, moving so swiftly it looked almost graceful. He kicked one down then spun to bring his club down on the other and while he did that you dragged the other and slammed his head on one of the roots of your tree.

All of a sudden you heard a loud crash and the camp went silent.

One of the fences was blown to shreds, you could see a canon where the door once was and saw the last person you ever expected to see on a battlefield.

Wendy.

She was there with her hands tied in a way that kept them over her ears and covering her eyes.

A fat man with a red cap was beside her, with a sword to her throat.

‘Smee, good form.’ Hook said happily.

You looked to Pan and saw he was standing across from the captain, their swords still touching from when they had been battling.

‘Now...how about a new game? I call it Hostage.’

Pan was furious, but if he knew how to do anything it was how to compose himself.

‘That’s cheating.’

‘Pirates aren’t known for following rules. Now how about this we’ll give you your little girl, in exchange you grant us passage off this damned island.’ the pirate smiled.

The fat man in the red hat handed the crying girl to his captain who placed his hook to her throat.

‘If I don’t like the game?’

‘Then I’ll rip this girl’s heart out, in the bloody way. From my understanding she is rather important to you.’

‘It so happens she is.’

‘Take the deal.’ the one handed pirate offered.

‘Deal, there will be a portal just for you in the middle of the sea, but know that I will never open another portal for you again. You will be in the ground feeding the maggots in some boring realm before you ever see the alligator you want.’

‘Oh I will find him, now call off your dogs.’

You looked to Pan, looking for anything, any sign that he had a plan. A sure way to get Wendy away from the pirates and still win this battle.

There was nothing, no knowing smirk or calculating look in his eyes, he just looked furious. Angrier than you have ever seen him before, considering that at one point he had chased you through the woods that said something.

‘Game’s over boys, looks like pirates don’t play fair...bad form.’ he said.

One by one all the boys threw down their weapons and the archers stepped out from their hiding spots, but you stayed put.

You looked over, when you saw something red moving behind the canon that was still smoking behind the fairy tail captain.

Rufio.

He had his club raised high and eyes set on Hook’s head, in an instant you understood his plan, kill the pirate so Pan could get Wendy and we could get back to killing these old geezers.

But unfortunately you weren’t the only one who saw him.

Hook’s namesake was always polished, not for the sake of looks, but to see the reflections of things behind him. It was impossible to not notice such a loudly dressed lad.

Swift as wind he withdrew his hook from Wendy’s neck and before you could even scream in terror he had buried his hook in Rufio’s chest.

‘NO!’ you yelled.

The pirate removed his hook and let Rufio’s body drop to the ground.

You ran through the door of your tree and rushed to your boyfriend’s side, there was so much blood covering his chest you couldn’t see where the wound actually was.

‘No, no it’s OK. I can fix it.’ you said with shaking breath.

You tried to use your magic to heal him, but it wouldn’t work. Your hands were too unsteady and you couldn’t focus on how the body was meant to connect.

‘It’s...ok...Love y-you....’ Rufio choked out before his eyes lost focus and his body went limp.

‘No…’ you sobbed, you placed your forehead to his and tried to force him to be ok, or maybe to make yourself wake up.

Whatever you were trying to do didn’t matter because it didn’t work.

Felix was suddenly by your side, his eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying.

He placed his hand on your shoulder and kneeled down with you over Rufio.

You didn’t notice it, but the camp had gone silent.

All these centuries of running wild on this island and killing any intruders and this was the first time they had ever lost one of their own.

‘No one else try anything, let me and my men go Pan.’ Hook said, removing the blindfold from Wendy's eyes and hands.

‘Leave the girl, and know that if I ever see you again, on this island or in any realm at all you will be as dead as that brother of yours.’ Pan spat out.

With tears in your eyes you watched the pirates retreat through the woods, a part of you wanted to burn the whole island down but you couldn’t.

Magic required a good amount of control, and you had never felt more unstable in your life.

You couldn’t stop the sobs that were spilling out of you or make your body stop shaking; there was only one thing in your mind.

Rufio was dead.

Your boyfriend had just died in your arms and there was nothing you could do about it no matter how strong your magic was.

Magic can do a lot but not that; dead is dead and it’s forever permanent.

‘(Y/N).’ Peter said solemnly.

‘I couldn’t save him, I saw him making his move and I didn’t stop him.’ you said around the lump in your throat.

‘We all saw him, and we all thought he could do it, it isn’t your fault.’ he said.

All at once it clicked in your head, like the last piece of a puzzle a thought formed in your mind.

Wendy.

‘You!’ you all but growled as you stood up and tackled the only other girl on the island to the ground.

‘You got him killed!’ you screamed in her tear streaked face as you wrapped your hands around her throat.

With all your strength you tried to crush her windpipe; if it was the last thing you did you were going to make her suffer for what she did.

‘(Y/N)!’ Peter yelled as suddenly you were yanked back, partially pulling Wendy with you, but eventually you lost your grip.

With a grunt and a thud that probably sounded worse than it actually felt you hit the ground.

‘I-I’m sorry!’ Wendy coughed, looking as pitiful and as helpless as the insect she was.

‘You will be, I’ll make you sorry!’ you spat as you struggled against the magic weight that was holding your body down.

‘Calm down.’ Peter said, his voice calm and clear as he stood over you.

‘Fuck calm! I want her dead!’

‘So do I.’ Felix said from beside Rufio’s body.

Felix closed his friend's eyes and looked up at his leader.

‘She betrayed us...Rufio is dead because her. She has been prancing through camp being as useless as a leech in dress and none of us said anything to you, but this.’ Felix said, standing up and pointing the body in front of him.

‘We can’t ignore this; and I won’t forgive it.’

More boys spoke in their agreement and soon they were all but spitting at the girl, the sight at one point would have disgusted you, but right now you just want to get up.

‘Quiet!’ Pan yelled, his voice strong and loud.

‘I know...the girl deserves to die, she deserves to die bloody. She is useless and no one likes her, not even me despite what I know you all think; but I still need her. We all do if we want to win the real game.’

The real game.

His master plan, the one he hadn’t even disclosed to you completely, all you knew was the goal, he needed Bae’s child; to get him he needed the Darling boys, and to keep them in line he needed Wendy.

Rufio was dead, his killers were on their way to freedom and all Peter, no not Peter, Pan cared about was his goal.

‘I hate you.’ you said, not even realizing you had said it.

You probably wouldn’t have even noticed your own voice if silence hadn’t become so heavy, as heavy as the weight that was no longer pinning you down.

Slowly you pulled yourself up and you looked at Peter, or Pan or whoever the hell the boy demon really was.

‘Rufio...he fought for you, he killed for you, and because of that stupid daffodil in a dress he died for you. You are so selfish and self concerned that you won’t even avenge him, won’t let me avenge him! He deserves that much!’ you cried.

‘(Y/N) I know right now it feels raw but-’

‘Not just now! I will never forgive this!’ you snapped.

You looked from him to Wendy and had to refrain from attacking her a second time.

‘Hide her, don’t ever let me see her face because if I do I will kill her...the same goes for you Pan.’

‘What are you saying?’ Peter asked, still masking his emotions in that way that not even you could see through it.

‘I’m saying that I hate you Peter Pan and if I ever see you again I will put you in the fucking ground...you and your little daffodil.’ you said.

Your eyes moved to the boys, the ones you had been laughing and training with for what must have been nearly a century now.

‘Only love for you all, if any of you ever find me I won’t be sore to see you; and if you’re following orders to find me I’ll fight you fair. Keep each other safe...since we can see vengeance is only priority in the right circumstance.’

You looked down at Rufio and again your vision was obstructed by tears.

‘Bury him by my tree, Felix.’

‘I will.’ your best friend without any hesitation

With that done you felt like you had said all you could say, so you turned away from all of them,

From Rufio’s body, your ex Peter Pan, the girl who’d gotten your boyfriend killed and all your friends too.

You look out at the woods and spare no time to think of all the dangers that hid behind the trees as you walked away from what was once your home.

[mlm-writer]

Curing Cullen (Cullen x M!Reader)

Kinktober Day 22: Sex Pollen

Pairing: Bottom Cullen Rutherford (Inquisition ver.) x  Top Qunari Male Reader (NOT trans-friendly) Rating: Explicit Words: 1798 Summary: Cullen accidentally gets a dosage of interrogation drugs, of which the only cure is Qunari semen or death. Fucking the inquisitor beats death any day. Note: This mf got such a fuckin glow up and I am so fuckin gay for him why is he straight this is an atrocity. LOOK HOW FUCKIN PRETTY HE IS I AM IN LOVE Tags: Action, canon-typical violence, no beta we die like men, beign liberal with canon, anal fingering, anal sex, creampie, dubious consent (because he is drugged ya know), bit fluffy, riding and did you know bulls have a dick of 30-40 inch? That’s dick the size of a child wtf. 

A quick favour, that was all it was supposed to be. The cargo was apparently very precious and no one was told what it was. You never wanted to get involved with the Ben-Hassrath, but with Bull at your side there was little choice, not that you wanted him gone. On the contrary, having another Qunari around was a great help on some days. 

Things went south, however, as you got ambushed by an unforeseen force. The human bandits were oddly organised and in an awfully great number. You casted a wall of ice to slow them down, but they came from all sides. You decided to give up the cargo and save both your and Bull’s men. You fade stepped towards Cullen, the commander assisting to tag along since it was a sensitive mission. “Commander, we need to go.” Cullen showed you a displeased look, but he nodded, agreeing with your assessment. 

“We can take at least one of the boxes with us. Save some of the cargo,” he insisted, “cover me.” You wanted to protest, but he was already dashing towards the cart. You casted a barrier around him as he left, followed by a lighting chain, stunning the enemies around him. Cullen came running back with a box that sounded like it contained potions. It was a clever choice. You basically lifted him up and ordered your people to retreat as you summoned some mist to cover your paths. 

An arrow grazed your leg as you ran. You slipped in your step and you dropped both yourself and Cullen to the ground. There was the sound of wood breaking and glass shattering, before you hit your head on a rock and the scenery went dark. 

You shock awake, getting a feeling of deja vu. You recognised your bedroom at Skyhold. You rubbed your forehead, feeling a bandage right below your horns. You climbed out, wobbling down the many, many stairs to the main hall. Your mind was on Cullen. It was known amongst the inner circle that you two had a… thing... Going on. It was complicated, but that didn’t stop you from worrying. Varric saw you emerge from your room and rushed to your side. “Hey, you gave us quite the shock there.” 

You forced a chuckle out. “After all I have been through, one fall on the head isn’t going to do me in.” Varric nodded, looking at you with those eyes that looked for more. “Really, I am fine. Where is Cullen? He was with me.” Varric gave you an even worse look and dragged you to Solas’ room. He looked at you as he always did. It was hard to read him, most of the time. 

“Good, you’re here. My potion is keeping Cullen alive right now, but he needs you, were he to survive.” At least you could adore his bedside manners. You wanted to ask him more, but he handed you a paper and walked away to have another look at one of the shards you found. The paper was an itinerary of what was in the box you tried to save. With red encircled there was a concoction of concentrated Qunari pheromones, Witherstalk and Felandaris, used in several torture techniques, since the only thing that got it out of your system was rectically administrated Qunari sperm.

“Please, don’t tell me that Cullen got any of this stuff on him.” Solas said nothing. 

“Well then I won’t tell you, but he still needs your help,” Varric cut in when Solas remained quiet. It suddenly dawned on you why Cullen would need you specifically. When it came to healing magic, you were not the expert, but when it came to a source of Qunari sperm, the options were you and Bull. The thought of Bull doing it made you cringe and you put the paper back on the table, before running out the door. You runned over the bridge and slammed the door to Cullen’s room open. You heard pained moans at the left, where Cullen laid on a mattress they had dragged from somewhere to here. Probably no one could get him up the ladder to his bed. 

You crouched down next to him. You tried to get the hair out of his face, but he moaned at the slightest touch. “There you are,” he mused as he gave you the most undignifying bedroom eyes you had ever seen. “Bull informed me of my… status,” he tried. Clearly Cullen was still Cullen, which was a good sign. Either Solas has done some outstanding magic or Cullen was really muscling through the potion well. “This was not how I expected to have sex with you for the first time, but you should take me up that ladder right now.” He was panting, covered in sweat and he looked even more tiny without his armour. 

“You know we don’t need to have sex, right? I could just…”

“I want to. I’ve thought about sex with you so many times, you have no idea.” 

You already felt sorry for him when he got his full mind back. He would be so embarrassed, but you couldn’t die of secondhand embarrassment right now. You hoisted him over your shoulder, noticing his cock poking through his breeches as you climbed the ladder. Maybe this was not the most practical interior design choice. You were glad that at least now the roof was fixed and a fireplace installed. You casted a fire there, the room feeling a little warmer immediately. Cullen was rutting against your shoulder, but you didn’t blame him. You placed him on the bed and he pulled you down. You had kissed before. Varric even ran into you two making out. You would probably have made it official then, were it not for Varric’s interruption. 

However, this was nothing like anything you’ve done before. Cullen was insistent, a desperate man. His lips moved against yours as if he was trying to eat you. A primal noise left him as he tried to rid you of your clothing as soon as possible. You didn’t know what came over you, but you ripped his shirt in half, throwing it off the bed. With a rough tug, his breeches went off and you had beautiful access to everything that was Cullen. You wanted to take your time with him, but you feared there was no time for that. You conjured a substance to provide lubrication in one hand and raised his legs with the other. You toyed with his hole, coaxing it open. 

Cullen mewled as you put his legs over your shoulders and touched his cock. You pleased him with both hands, trying to take the edge off for him. He was like a cat in heat. He was so vocal and you wondered if he was the same when he wasn’t drugged. When you could push three fingers inside, you let your breeches fall to the floor and kicked them off your feet. Your cock stood big and glistening with precum between you. It wasn’t very thick, but the length was easily 20 inch at least. Cullen stared at it with an odd mixture of dread and lust. You cursed yourself for thinking it was hot. “Don’t worry, a shallow injection will be enough. You don’t need to take my full length.” 

You moved him closer to the edge of the bed and rested his legs on your waist. The tip of your cock was pressed against his stretched hole. You looked up at him and he gave you an insistent nod. You pushed inside, careful to only go a few inches deep, but he felt so good and hot around you, it was hard to restrain yourself. Your slow fucked him with the tip, breathing heavily as it took all your self-restraint to not just plow into him until he swore he met the Maker. “Inquisitor,” Cullen moaned, really testing your self-control. Using titles in the bedroom was definitely your kink and Cullen played into it like a charm. “Can I…” 

You stopped when he didn’t finish. You bent forward, cupping his cheek to get his attention. “What do you want? Just name it, commander.” Cullen caressed your cheek and licked his dry lips. He swallowed the lump in his throat and you watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. 

“Sit on the bed. I’d… like to be on top.” You licked your lips at the thought. You gently pulled out and sat down, resting against the headboard. Culled straddled you and he was so beautiful. His scarred skin told the stories of many battles. His hands ghosted around your horns. “May I?” You usually didn’t like people touching them, since they were a little more sensitive than those of other Qunari, but with the idea in mind of what was to come, you wanted his hands on them now. You nodded and sighed in pleasure as Cullen leveraged himself on your horns as he lowered his body against the tip of your huge cock. 

Cullen hissed as you breached him again. You stared at him as he took you deeper than you thought he would. You groaned as he managed to impale himself halfway your length, before he raised up just a little. Cullen deep-fucked himself on your cock, taking half of it inside and moaning like a song that you never wanted to end. You placed your hands on his hips, helping him at first, but soon enough you lifted and lowered him like a toy on your cock. Cullen’s hands fell down to your shoulders, where his fingers dug into your skin. You growled as lust took over and you were chasing your orgasm with his hole. 

Another few thrusts and you held him in place as you spilled your seed inside him. You watched as Cullen let go with one hand and stroked himself. He spilled between your bodies, getting semen on both your torsos. When he was done, you were still pumping him full with the last bits of your load. You slid down the headboard and laid him down on your chest, cock still deep inside him as he rested on top of you, bodies sticking together with his semen. 

No words were exchanged as you let your semen do its work counteracting the potion. You stroked his back and hair, basking in the afterglow of an amazing orgasm. “Could we… switch positions next time?” You looked down and chuckled, humming affirmatively. A human topping a Qunari was a funny idea, but with Cullen, you were long happy he considered a next time and when that time would come, you wouldn’t care how it would go, as long as it was with your favourite commander. 

[thatsthat24]

New Inktober for 2019!

Once again, I was asked to create a new list of art prompts for October this year! These creations from you guys are ALWAYS so amazing, so I’m excited to bring you a new list! I got so many suggestions from my friends! You can use #TSinktober if you’d like to share your creations!

Remember: Even if we’re on Day 31, and you wanna post art based off the Day 1 prompt, you DEFINITELY can! There is no lateness for posting art, because it’s all entirely for fun! Hope you enjoy!!

Day 1: In a twist from the past years’ Day 1 prompts, I want to see you take a traditional Halloween monster or character, and draw what they look like Sep. 30th, and then their traditional look when it’s October 1st!  Maybe they don’t get spoopy until October 1st haha.

Day 2: Turn fall weather into a character! Could be the human embodiment of Fall, or the spirit responsible for Fall occurring, or something else!

Day 3: Turn a famous painting into a spoopy Halloween version!

Day 4: Draw a classic still life of items belonging to your favorite character. Let us guess who the items belong to!

Day 5: Draw your best friend or yourself (or both) GOIN GHOST. Ya know, that good ole Danny Phantom transformation!

Day 6: A Pokémon hanging out with (or running from) the zombified version of itself

Day 7: Choose two months, personify them, then draw what their first date would look like

Day 8: Sanders Sides characters on their dream vacations!

Day 9: A business that a Halloween monster or character would thrive on if they ran it!

Day 10: Take any popular author, imagine if they were a superhero, and draw what their comic book cover would look like!

Day 11: Portray any Disney princess as the “monster/scary thing” from a horror movie such as The Conjuring, The Nun, etc., either depicting them in a scene from the movie or the poster for the movie!

Day 12: Take any two coffee flavors, like Pumpkin Spice and Peppermint, and draw a battle between them, Mortal Kombat style (brew-tality lol)

Day 13: Take any Avenger from the MCU, and reimagine them as a Pokemon Gym Master! What would their Pokemon team look like?

Day 14: Reimagine a Sanders Sides, Cartoon Therapy, or other original character from our content as a kind of humanoid piece of candy or sweet treat!

Day 15: I really enjoyed this prompt from last year, so this year, take any Disney Villain, and use them as the inspiration for a Met Gala outfit! NO DALMATIAN PUPPY FUR ALLOWED, ALL OF YOU CRUELLA FANS.

Day 16: Take any traditional Halloween monster/character or any horror movie villain and make… them… CUTE. Now whether that’s adorably cuddly cute or va-va-voom cute is completely up to you! - Erin

Day 17: Take your fave character or OC and reimagine Steampunk versions of them!

Day 18: Take your fave food and create a cartoon character based off of it! It can have its own style, be stylized after an existing cartoon, whatever you wish!

Day 19: Take a quote from a book, song, or movie that particularly inspired you, and make it the main centerpiece of this day’s piece of art! Wherever you’d want to take the art from there is up to you!

Day 20: Here’s a cool challenge for ya! You can draw any Halloween-themed picture you want, BUT It’s all in ONE pen stroke. You can’t take your drawing utensil off the paper!

Day 21: What if anyone else from Halloweentown, other than Jack Skellington, had discovered and fell in love with Christmastown? Would anyone else have tried to dress up as Santa? Would they hatch another plan entirely??

Day 22: Back due to demand, take your fave character(s) from two different animated tv shows/anime/movie and depict them in each other’s animation style! An animation swap, if you will!

Day 23: Ever watch a movie or show and wish it had ended a different way? This is your chance to correct the plots to conclude the way YOU wanted it concluded! Oh boy, this may end up getting controversial lol

Day 24: We all know traditional Halloween monsters... but create what you think the Halloween monsters of today or the FUTURE would be!!

Day 25: This one is purely selfish because I’m still so in love with the past creations. Take ANY character of your choice from ANY piece of media and draw them in the style of a Tim Burton illustration!

Day 26: Speaking of classics, gotta include this one cause it’s tradition! Draw your OTP in Halloween costumes that are designed to go together!!

Day 27: Take any dramatic scene from any scary or Halloween-y movie... and meme it.

Day 28: How to Train Your [Insert Monster/Demon/Halloween-y creature here]

Day 29: This one is SUPER open-ended, but I’m into that. Take any book, turn to the 13th page (so the book has to be at least 13 pages lol) and go to the 13th word on that page (if it’s an article like “a” or “the”, just go to the next adjacent noun/verb/adjective/adverb) and use it as the inspiration for a one-worded scary movie/book. Draw that poster or book cover!

Day 30: Slightly inspired by the eerie vibe one can sometimes get from Spinel (SU), Betty Boop cartoons, etc. take any character, Halloween-y creature or otherwise from any of your fave piece of media, and depict them in the classic rubberhose/ Max Fleischer-inspired art style!!

Day 31: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Do you remember a specific Halloween that was especially memorable for you?? It might have been because of the friends you spent it with, or a memorable moment that happened, or because of a costume you were particularly fond of. Or maybe there were a series of Halloweens that were dear to you because of a tradition you did with your family (and maybe still do!). Depict that moment along with an explanation! If you just wanna write about it, that’s fine too!

As always, you guys have been absolutely blowing me away with your incredible creations!! I love this time of year and seeing what your talents produce!! Thank you for all the amazing works and have a WONDERFUL October!!!

Thank you to all my friends whose suggestions helped to make this list!

Dahlia, AJ, Tammy, Ellen, Adri, Fariha, Brei, Rafaela, Jack, Esteban