#I think I just wanted to scream into the void yknow

[capuccinomachine]

not to be a downer but lately I've been feeling extremely uncreative and unmotivated lately. It sucks so much though because I feel like I am getting so inspired a lot recently as well but when I sit down to actually draw or do something about it I just can't after 2 minutes. It's like I become exhausted by committing to any slight amount of effort, even if it's like a little doodle. I can't draw or enjoy games or clean my room or even talk to my friends. Blaaahhh...

Starting to wonder if I have depression, I guess.

[mochiwrites]

being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week

the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals

my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?

I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting

[mafufuu]

do u guys like my art,,,

[spacebugarts]

Forcing you to Look At Them

[llitchilitchi]

.

[sinfulforrest]

gehhh I can feel my brain starting to turn pretty fucky wucky and I would really prefer to not have that happen again cause it was really bad last timeee

[1980ssunflower]

if i dont see my husbands passionately kissing eachother RIGHT now im going to run into oncoming traffic

[solarpoweredpunkpossum]

having complicated feelings about the politics of rage

like that specific kind of debate bro whose videos are all "liberal DESTROYED raging feminist OWNED by calm facts and logic haha i'm so smart and cool" who thinks anyone not in a perfect stoic state must immediately be wrong (and by proxy their ability to "argue" about things that don't affect them divisive topics calmly means they must be right)

seeing people finding their ways to scream into the void for reaping week or vent the anger and indignity at how screwed up our world is... why is it so taboo? why is it so bad to be upset at, yknow, things that should upset any rational, compassionate person?

because yeah, anger isn't rational and tends to find targets rather than solutions, but for fluff's sake it doesn't just go away! you can't turn off your passion! and you shouldn't! you should be upset! you should be upset about climate change and billionaires and rising fascism! you should be upset that the world is unjust!

but we've created, or accepted, or failed to question, this framework where being calm makes you more correct and being visibly passionate or upset is a bad thing, where being riled up by someone who thinks you don't deserve rights is a sign of weakness, where caring loudly and vibrantly is somehow bad optics because being angry looks bad.

angry people are dangerous. angry people can't be trusted. angry people shouldn't be listened to. angry people can't control their emotions. angry people should just calm down. angry people should be subdued.

just shut up and take it already, won't you?

like. look. the doomerism and despair is strong outside of communities like this. so often i find myself asking where is your rage!? where is your hope?! your joy, your passion, your conviction that a better world will be made!

i spent a long time drowning in some pretty rough crap. when i managed to crawl out of it, the first thing i felt was relief. the second was burning, white-hot rage that i had lived like this, that i had been allowed to live like this. anxiety makes you want to shrink down, be as small as possible, as unintrusive, as unnoticeable. anger told me to be loud, be bright, be visible, shout from the rooftops that i deserved better, turn passion into action instead of wallowing.

yes, i am angry at the world and i should be. i am upset that people who have more money than i can even conceive of can run the planet into the ground and blame me for using too much plastic. i am upset that my existence is someone else's political fodder they can fearmonger about for engagement. i am upset that people are dying over numbers on a graph and lines on a map. i am upset that billions of dollars for guns and tanks gets written off without question, but the single mother of two on food stamps is what's draining the budget. i am upset and i'm not going to apologize for it, because that isn't "letting my emotions control me," it's having basic fluffing compassion for other people.

sorry i can't be calm like you while you're holding a gun to my head. it must be easier when it's your finger on the trigger.

[maevstar]

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE VOID STATE

english is not my first language so might have some grammatical errors, be nice pls

So, first of all, this happened to me about a month ago, and I wanted to share this cause it was so random to me.

I never really tried to get into the void state cause I never really understood what that was, I read some stuff before but in my mind was kinda “impossible” for me to get into that state, yknow? So I never rlly cared about that.

But one day I was going to sleep and I listened to some brown noise, cause helps me sleep better, and then I had a nightmare that I was getting followed by someone trying to kill me (?), anyway, this part doesn’t matter, but when I woke up from the nightmare I was in some kind of darkness

Like, all I could see was dark, and I couldn’t feel my body or hear anything. I was scared because of the nightmare so I screamed, but I couldn’t hear myself, was so weird that I thought I was in a sleep paralysis, but then my second thought was like: “shit, maybe I’m shifting”, and then I started to yell my s/o’s name.

Like I said, I still couldn’t hear myself or anything. It felt like I didn’t have a body, like I was just existing, pure consciousness.

But I didn’t realized that it was the void, and I was still scared about the nightmare that I had before, so I just stopped yelling my s/o’s name and tried my best to wake up on my cr asap.

After that, I talked to my friend and she said that I had gotten into the void state. Was so crazy for me cause I didn’t even had to try yknow? I think it just shows how shifting your consciousness is something so natural and you don’t even have to try to do it.

Mb if I wasn’t so scared abt the nightmare I’d have shifted, cause tho I thought in the moment that maybe I was shifting, I was scared to end up shifting into the nightmare, which made me want to wake up on my cr.

My first shift — or mini shift, whatever, — was without intention to shift too. I’ll probably post abt it later.

If you had some experience with the void state too please share in the comments:)

[anonymouscheeses]

Obvious shit I noticed part 3 (spoilers for welcome to heaven)

Look at her! "Teehee"

Also she's nervous! Foreshadowing omg 🤯

STICKERS! Two pride stickers and a cute donut. Gives me an idea to draw Chaggie at a donut shop while everything is burning down <3 (I'll probably do it but if any artist wants to as well go ahead!)

*CHOKES ON COFFEE* I LOVE THEM. I'M SORRY I GET SO GIDDY WHEN THEY HAVE EVEN THE SMALLEST INTERACTION BUT UGHHH I NEED MORE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH 🙏🙏

KISSY! MWA! *SCREAMS INTO THE VOID*

Vivzie give me more, moar now. MOAR

DAMN. SHE CAN THROW- or maybe it just exaggerates the perspective in this frame but still- ZAMNNN

Cherri x Sir Pentious fans RISE UP.

I wasn't ever really a fan of it myself but I always thought it was CUTE. Like 3 seconds before this part I was already begging for them to kiss 😭

More foreshadowing!

AAAAAA CREEPY BIRD THINGS!!!

Oh wait- Sera's hot and Emily's already adorable

If heaven don't look like what this is in the show, I DONT WANT IT! (THATS A JOKE PLEASE DON'T SMITE ME)

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND VAGGIE!! Can I just say how much I love Vaggie's face expressions? Not just here but like all the time. She's just made to be so exaggerated, out of all of them I thought it would be Charlie who would have the most dramatic faces but Vaggie wins it for me. I JUST GIGGLE SO HARD WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS BAHAHAH

Okay yeah. It's very obvious now. Vaggie is definitely an ex-exterminator. They don't close in on Charlie here so it's made to subtly nudge the attention to Vaggie. HOW DID THEY IMMEDIATELY NOTICE IT WAS HER THO??

Hot-

That's it.

SHARE THAT MOTHUSSY GIRL-

YOU'RE TELLING ME SHE GREW OUT ALL OF THAT HAIR?!? YEAH ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THEN BUT STILL AJJSJD.

But overall the design is pretty meh. I always loved the idea of short hair Vaggie and even have seen art of it but it's just yknow, alright. Reminds me of Cassandra from Tangled: the series. IM LISTENING TO ONE OF THE SONGS RIGHT NOW HELPPP

THIS SCENE HERE! WOOOOO! SO GLAD WE KNOW WHEN AND WHERE THEY FIRST MET!! Wish we got it extended tho. And also probably push it to next episode so it would have a better impact(atleast I think thats when they'll have the duet). BUT WHATEVER SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING! or uh whatever

Vaggie must've been a bit terrified at first. The only sinner she ever sent mercy to was a child. Then to see someone who to her is an adult sinner who just looks really human, that must be crazy. BUT THEN IF SHE WAS TOLD THAT CHARLIE WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF HELL? HOOOO, LOCK IN AND STEAL HER. THAT'S SOME WATTPAD SHIT. Also, I wonder how long Charlie thought of redeeming sinners. It would make sense to be after meeting Vaggie, since it could have been a wake up call to the fact not all sinners are bad people. Even though Vaggie isn't a sinner technically, Charlie didn't know that at the time. But maybe Charlie was always like this but just needed to meet someone who could start her dream with her. Long rant uhhh

Haha penis 🫵

SCRAP WHATEVER I SAID IN THE FIRST PART. THEY PROBABLY DO FUCK- OR DONT?? I DONT KNOW- ANYWAY LESBIAN SEX (BOTTOM TEXT). WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??? SOMEONE PULL THE TRIGGER.

Lute looks like a basic asf anime gorl. Adam doesn't ever take his helmet off, or maybe he just can't. OH HE'S DOING THE GAY SIGN 💅💅 Very appropriate for what he's saying

Mentor, apprentice. I love that Husk is just trying to help Angel grow but isn't going to force him into it if he doesn't want to.

Im not a fan of huskerdust and think they'd be better friends as I can't imagine a relationship with them at all. But it's still nice and they are supportive of eachother so that's like- yknow. Basic rules. Or something like that. (HELP. I ruined it all at the last part)

I- girl- WHY IS SHE GROWLING?? GRR GRR RR (INSERT TWILIGHT SAGA HERE)

VAGGIE'S FACE. SENDS ME. WHO GAVE HER THESE OVERDRAMATIC EXPRESSIONS, I APPLAUD YOU RGAGAGA

Ooo... I didnt like this part at all... Instead of making the choice she just runs off. Then because the plot demands it, Adam says nothing. Kinda whish she atleast avoided the question, maybe in some way that would require actual thinking? For a character like Vaggie, she could choose either way and it feel like it's still her. If she chose to protect Charlie's dream, she would still be perfectly loyal to her but in the act of so would reveal a secret that could harm their relationship(which does happen at the end but that's because the plot wanted it like that). If she chose to side with Adam, she'd be hurting Charlie emotionally, sure, but it would keep a secret that could make Charlie see Vaggie less than who she is to her already(atleast what Vaggie might think would happen). Imo it should've been her deciding to protect Charlie, since it would mean she's devoted to her at all times.

ANOTHER THING! IF SHE COULDN'T MAKE THE CHOICE, THAT IS SOMETHING INTERESTING TO GO INTO. Maybe it could go deeper into how Vaggie doesn't know who she is without Charlie. So when she has a choice to make, like here, she can't do it without feeling the need to ask Charlie. BUT NOOO, YA HAD TO GO WITH THIS!! Wow. That was a long ass rant. Wtf 😭

Maybe I'm a dumbass. Maybe they'll talk about that next episode, but still, atleast touch on it a bit to not seem rushed?

Angel looking out for his kids like a mom. We always did need the motherly figure, the one closest to that being Charlie but girl needs a mother in her life too(damn, wait, I did her so dirty).

Huh, so why does it work here then? 🤨🤨 if it was said in the contract that Valentino can do whatever he wants only in the studio, then why is this the exception? 🤨🤨

Yes I'm stupid. Why do you ask? (No genuinely what's happening here)

OH ITS THE IMAGE! I really like Sera so far, hope we get more of her soon or in season 2.

Now that we know the context of this, yeah, that's fucking insane. And badass. WOMEN.

HMM. THATS STRANGE. DID YOU NOT FOR ONCE THINK THERE COULD BE A POSSIBILITY SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN ANGEL? Okay I probably wouldn't either but I have an excuse, I'm an idiot. Some girl with a standing out outfit, with one eye, looks unusually human, right after/during the extermination... that's pretty solid ass proof. But I'm dumb so don't take anything i say seriously :D

Imagine this. No- shit. Just-

JUST LOOK! THEY ARE SO CUTE! EVEN THOUGH CRAZY SHIT IS HAPPENING.

*SWEATS*

Vaggie is DESPERATE. PLEADING. That's obvious yeah, but don't mind me I had nothing to say for the last 3 images I just thought they were cool

I mean. Slay I guess. 😍💅

Do all the exterminators look similar or is it just Lute and Vaggie? 🤨

Even though Vaggie and Charlie may be going through this horrible thing with a hard punch in the gut, but Vaggie is always going to comfort her and I just think that's so adorable.

Also Adam looks like a chicken hah.

Everyone fears to be like Lucifer. If they don't do bad things they believe are for the greater good and make sacrifices that put them higher than those in hell, they could themselves be fallen. It's really interesting but I don't know if it's going to be fleshed out enough with the amount of episodes left. Which also worries me about everything else that still hasn't be concluded. There's gonna be loose strings I just know it. Hopefully though they rather do that then rush everything out y'know?

I want the next episode to be mostly focused on Vaggie and Charlie's relationship and the healing of what happened. Not for the entire episode of course, it would feel drawn out if it did, but atleast address the problem for the first like I would say 10 minutes? Then the rest would focus on one or two loose threads while also having Vaggie and Charlie acting upon moving on. That's just my idea but yeah-

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

Idk if you write angst or not, but...

I was thinking about this nonstop and I had to request it.

So, Female Y/N and Kazutora are in the same class (first year highschool maybe) and they both are always coming into class with bruises.

Everybody is worried for Yn, thinking shes being abused at home, when, in reality, shes actually just super clumsy. Also, everybody thinks that Kazutora always gets into street fights, which he does, but that's not the actual reason behind his bruises, it's his father.

Then, one day, yn and Kazu are assigned cleaning duty after school, and as they're cleaning up, kazutora inquires about yn's bruises, wanting to know if there is somebody else out there also being abused.

They become friends, and as they get closer to each other, Kazutora starts to open up more to her, and ends up telling her about his home life.

I'm imagining their relationship more as platonic love. yknow, like besties.

sorry if this is too specific but I really needed to get it out of my head!!

I really love your head, your brain and your idea because I miss writing platonic loves!

Bruises.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Many people think that clumsy people are cute, aesthetically at least, but I doubt they'd think that if they saw them constantly being bruised.

Be it tripping over something, falling down from trees, crashing with something while riding a bike, falling down the stairs and etc, you have experienced all of them in less than a month.

You were just....adventurous, that's all. You took the risks despite knowing you'd get hurt. Your family might think that you're masochist for this but that's wrong. Taking risks are exciting. When you can't feel anything because of the adrenaline, when your blood grows hot and heart beats faster than ever before, it's so exciting. So you do try a lot of things and maybe would be unstoppable in them if you weren't cursed with clumsiness.

Everyone is clumsy in one way or another, but yours is a bit concerning...Considering the fact that you literally choke on water when drinking it.

How amazing.

You hated bruises. They're ugly as hell and sometimes very disturbing to look at. But whenever you would glance at your body, you'd notice more amount of bruises than your own skin.

It's disturbing, you agree. It's concerning, that's true. Maybe that's why your classmates are giving you pitiful and concerned looks when they'd accidentally see your bruises, which you try to cover up.

"Why do you have so many bruises, [name]..?" Your seatmate asked you, hesitating and debating whether he should ask you about it or not.

You smiled at him, unaware of the reason behind this question. "You know how clumsy I am." It was simple answer, true even, but he didn't look convinced at all.

You two were oblivious to the boy sitting right behind you. He had black hair with some of his locks dyed blonde, his yellow eyes settled on your figure. His face was slightly bandaged and he, also, got bruises but it didn't look like anything serious, probably from fistfight.

Or so they all thought...

"Kazutora-kun, [name]-chan, you two are on cleaning duty today." The teacher informed right after her lesson was over. Frown formed up on Kazutora's face, probably because he obviously had better things to do than cleaning the classroom. But he didn't object.

Everyone left, leaving you two alone. The awkward silence screamed in the room, drowning every single thing you tried to say to kill the awkward in its own void. You two weren't close, not even friends. You knew nothing about him except the rumours that has been going on and on about him.

Of course, you weren't the type to believe every single rumour or judge someone because of them, hence you had no opinion on him. He didn't look like a bad guy and he was very pretty, plus his tattoo looks cool. That's all.

Both of you were doing your cleaning duties quietly, until the boy decided to break the silence. "That's pretty bad bruise."

You turned around to look at him, only to meet his back. He was cleaning the desk with his back facing you. "I fell down. Hard." You said truthfully, it's not like you had anything to hide.

"..Can you really get such bruise from falling down?" Kazutora asked yet again, as if trying to hint at something else but you couldn't exactly put a finger on what.

"Well, I was skating with my skateboard and fell really badly. So that's how I got it." You shrugged your shoulders, continuing to clean the board.

Kazutora stopped what he was doing and finally turned to you, eyeing your figure up and down before turning his back to you again with "Is that so.."

"What about you? What happened to your face?"

He stopped in his tracks, his hand clenching the wetpaper hard. "I got into fight with some assholes."

"Oh.." was all you said.

The silence fell between you two again and not wanting to be in the same extremely awkward situation with him again, you said the first thing that came to your mind. "They aren't bullying you, are they?"

Kazutora turned to face you, he was kind of confused before he started laughing. You stopped cleaning the board, wondering if what you said was funny. "bully me? I meant that they just pissed me off so I beat them up."

"O-Oh so you're bully!" You stated as if you just discovered the golden chest six feet under.

"Bully, hm? I wouldn't call myself that." He said, moving to the next desk. "Maybe I am, kind of. But only to those who deserve it."

One thing that you learned about him is to never ever piss him off, or you might as well return to home with broken jaw. Just the thought of it send chills down your spine. You turned around to clean the board again and despite wanting to say nothing, your mouth couldn't stop spilling the words out. "I don't think anyone deserves to be bullied." Kazutora turned to you again but now you were the one who wasn't looking at him. "Imagine how worried their parents must be. Seeing your kid all beat up, every parent would be worried for their child's safety."

"Every parent my ass..." He mumbles under his breath, low enough for you to not hear.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "But not every kid has parents and if they do, they might not be all caring at all you know...Even if they're, it's not my problem."

"Still, no one deserves to be bullied. It affects them badly." You said.

"If they're willing to be delinquents, then they must except something such as that."

"You're delinquent..?"

"Huh? You didn't know?" He raised his eyebrow. "Everyone talks about how I went to juvie."

"I don't trust the rumours..." Finally, finish cleaning the board, you looked at him. "Isn't this heavy topic for you tho?"

"I have nothing to hide." Kazutora shrugged. It's true that he had nothing to hide, after all there were so many rumours going around the school about his arrest, he's sure people even made stories up about him so it was one of the famous topic to gossip about in the school.

"Even so, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I mean, we aren't even friends so, I shouldn't be asking too much questions." You scratched your head in embarrassment. What right did you have ask about such personal stuff? You two aren't even friends so it must have been uncomfortable.

"As I said, I've nothing to hide. And you're just curious." He shrugged off with a smile. His smile was too kind for someone who has been in the juvie.

"...I don't think you're a bad guy." You truthfully said. His eyes widen but he was fast to regain his composure. "Well not as bad as rumours say at least. In fact, I'd like to be your friend, if that's okey with you."

After moment of silence, Kazutora managed to mutter "sure" with ghost smile on his lips.

He probably thought that he wouldn't get any closer to you at that time, he probably thought that you just wanted something from gim, hence why he was trying to find out what but miserably failed, he probably thought that you would leave him on your own before he even would manage to get attached to you. He probably thought that, but he was wrong. Oh, he was horribly wrong and the current situation was the proof of that, him venting to you, telling you why he can't go back to his house and you letting him stay at your place and even offering him comfort.

Yeah, he hasn't fought anyone at that time, 4 months ago. He didn't got those bruises because of strangers but because of his own father, a person he was supposed to be safe with. That man was more cruel than a beast. Even juvenile hall was safer than his own home. And that killed you inside, wishing you could help him with something more but you were kid too..

Kazutora hated seeing happy families, but he started crying when he saw yours, because he truly, for once, felt like he was at home.

[bulbabutt]

Thank you for being a bastion of sanity amidst the growing "but proshippers! But incest! But RPF!" purity culture's nonsense.

I'm so tired of being afraid to admit that I've even read a fanfic/fancomic because that same person might have a DIFFERENT ACCOUNT where they indulge in a problematic ship. And therefore they are "bad" and by association, I could be labeled "bad" for having looked at something completely unrelated and tossed on a block list.

It's asinine. Yet I'm too afraid to even get off anon because I know I don't have the mental fortitude to survive a potential online witch hunt.

So thank you, I wish you all the strength to keep screaming the words I cannot.

honestly youre not the first person to send me an anon about this, i just tend to feel just as afraid of responding to them as much as you are afraid of coming off anon. i think because while ill post things in vague context, it becomes another thing when someone says it out loud, yknow? but i appreciate it, knowing im not just screaming into a void where no one likes what i have to say.

i think what i will say is im not the only one who THINKS like i do, but i am just dumb enough to be loud and annoying about it. its kind of a thing where i'd never say anything specific because like... some people are so vicious and will demand blood if they get a whiff if i mention anything vaguely. the fact i have to be afraid to say 'people dont mind' for their own safety is crazy, huh?

i think that thing youre saying about being worried by association from association was the same first time i had this thought. i was reading something so good so deep something that effected me so deeply from how well it was talking about the realistic effects of incestuous abuse, and then i went to see what else the author had written and i was like. oh. theres just regular incest in here too. and that was kind of a moment of hm.. perhaps i need to think more about what really matters here. the fact i can engage with what i want and just say 'oh i see what else you do, thats not for me so i will just not engage with that'

so it hurts worse when theres the idea of someone engaging with art they like that has nothing 'weird' going on, then suddenly getting hit with screaming that that artist has a side account theyre not advertising where they make weird art that they are keeping FULLY separate from the account in question. like i do not see how that helps anybody in that situation.

then theres the generalization of it. the idea that maybe all you did was draw like. 19 yr old versions of two 15 yr olds kissing, and suddenly that gets you put on a list of people who will draw literal children in sexual situations, gets you put in that same boat without question. that shit is so cruel to me, that these things all get painted with the same brush. equally as bad, equally as deserving of being ostracized. or the idea that you get put on that list for not caring about if strangers ship things on the internet, makes you just as bad as someone who makes it. i really just hate this entire culture.

idk im... old school i guess? back in my day youd watch a shitty cartoon that had over 20 characters in it so you could smash them together in whatever ship suited you. crack ships were the bread and butter of me and my friends, shit that made no sense but in your own head. the idea of being anti... shipping at all is so... thats very weird. shipping as a thing is very much what fandom was ever made for in the first place? like. im not kidding, learn your history if you dont know that (middle age women shipping kirk and spock)

back when i was a kid i watched this tv show called kim possible, and i was a kid who didnt know shit about themselves seeing a pretty villain lady for the first time who called the main character who was a girl princess. i didnt know what to make of that, i didnt know the age difference between them i was a dumbass child, they were both drawn the same way! then im like 12 years old on the internet, i see theres a ship of the teenage girl and this like 30 yr old villain woman. do you think my 12 year old self saw the problematic nature and thought deeply about the morals of said ship? no. i was like 'holy shit i wish i was the teenage girl dating shego. why do i like this? oh god im a lesbian'

again. i was a child. what are you gonna do, go back in time and arrest my 12 year old ass for looking at pg rated fanart of women kissing on the internet? we didnt HAVE real representation yet! there was no korrasami, no rupphire, no bubbline, no lumity! shipping was the only place you could see stuff that was gay! and it being GAY would get you in more trouble than it having an age gap!

the fact is people WOULD cancel me now for that, wouldnt you?! thats where we're at. that IS a problematic ship, id be put on a blocklist in todays internet for being a child who crushed on villains. i didnt make it, i didnt create for it, i just looked at it and that would get you in trouble now!!! thats crazy.

i know thats a random tangent to go off on, but like..... hhhhh i dont know man. sometimes it seems like people want the internet to pass by broadcasting standards and practices and thats!!! bad!!! let people experiment with their weird shit as they figure themselves out, its so fucking normal. youre not a bad person for looking at things on the internet, youre not a bad person for engaging with things, youre not a bad person for being horny online! especially if you make your own fucking space for it?? a space easily blacklistable, with trigger warnings and EVERYTHING... we didnt have those when i was a kid, so some things are better, but culture is just worse.

i dunno. i just think i would not have thrived in this environment as a teenager. im glad im old and know better, but i worry about the lessons kids are learning from this. to feel ashamed, to bottle shit up, its not good for you. be kind to yourself, be kind to others. we're all working through shit in our own ways.

sorry for another long annoying post

[spicypepperflakesss]

૮꒰ “ . . ꒱ა

{Referencing this post: https://www.tumblr.com/muriels-brainrot/755439602787139584/how-do-you-cope-with-the-fandom-being-so?source=share }

Forgive me if I'm intruding but I recently came across some very helpful advice which I think is quite insightful.

To set the scene, before I found this advice, I myself was struggling with staying consistent with art. This time however, I had decided that no I won't keep procrastinating. SO, in my attempt to find resources, I stumbled onto this video. Now suddenly it all began to make sense. The reason I was struggling was not because i'm lazy and horrible and lacking motivation. Rather it was because I had outcome related goals. TLDR: I was focused on the outcome (wow rlly iri we didn't know that's what outcome related goals meant pfft-)

Anyways so, instead of focusing on the process, I was instead focusing on the end product aka the finished drawing. Ofc I'm a beginner so I wouldn't look like I wanted to. Not bad but it wouldn't be what I wanted so i'd get frustrated and eventually give up on drawing . . . before inevitably returning with my tail between my legs cause I still rlly want to get better.

Honestly, it's natural and normal for these feeling to occur, because like you said we pour so much time and dedication. Not to mention heart and soul to make these creative projects that it feels almost personal when it doesn't get engagement. But if there is something i'd like for you to know, it's that it rlly helps if you take enjoyment in the process. Draw inspiration from odd places and craft scenarios.

Don't write for others, or the cliche of writing for yourself but rather think of it as you sharing your brainrot with ur future self haha. Write stuff that you'd wanna read yourself! (then come back to read it like a crazy person at the dead of night . . . wait, don't tell me that just me-)

Just . . . let your brain do its thing! Let your brain create instead of letting the ideas and projects fester in your head. Keep growing your skill because you never know, these might be the very thing that comes in handy later on in life. Think of singers like Sabrina carpenter who was niche (I mean to say not worldwide popular yknow, but u get my point) for a long time. However, if you look at her now that she's gone viral, it's the hard work during the years she spent creating with most of the world with their backs to her that is the sole reason she continues to be so well known for her . . . well, everything! (For example: She is extremely comfortable on stage while performing and looks like she's in her element even with thousands of eyes on her . . . it's cause she's been performing for almost 10 years I think.)

So, to both anon and anyone else reading this, pls keep creating stuff. Especially passion projects. Even if you feel like you're screaming into a void. You'll only get better IF you continue. Also, you never know maybe there is someone out there that really enjoys your work. Even if it's one person, that still someone out there that keeps coming back just for your work. This silly tangent I went on, won't completely get rid of all the thoughts and feelings . . . but it's a start. Hope this helps . . .

(Example: I always find myself coming back to this artwork by @cinsilly cause Asra's expression here is so funny. No not once a week but every few days oops- )

Oh my god thank you!! I'll post my thoughts in the comments. But it was honestly v cool of you to share this, the only thing that keeps me together in any fandom is knowing we're not alone in feeling this way :'> !!!

[scribble-brain-aced]

more sans au headcanons because if i do not share them, i mayhaps will explode into a million pieces

• i once broke my school computer (stay with me here) and the inside of it smelled like chemicals. like nail polish remove, but more hospital. that’s what the anti-void smells like, and by extension, error.

• getting the feeling that Killer is a bit obsessive with who he likes. like, he won’t straight-up stalk them because he knows that’s apparently terrifying for the victim, and he doesn’t want that. but he WILL watch them really carefully, hang out with them as much as possible, and probably write a list about them. generally, really toeing the line between ‘okay’ and ‘kinda creepy’.

• Dream and Nightmare have synesthesia. Dream can see emotions, Nightmare can taste and smell them. (Although, he thinks it’s weird, so he doesn’t talk about it at all.)

• dust is from a Handplates AU, Killer was homeless until 18, and Horror is part of Gaster’s split brain if you’ve seen Matpat’s theory.

• nightmare has about a million ways to pass the time because as a kid, he had like no social contact whatsoever, and instead read a lot, screamed into a forest, pondered the meaning of life, and made up several conspiracy theories. because he was bored.

• yknow how the Gang is portrayed in this awesome gothic castle/mansion? well, the Stars are permanently broke. they literally just share a tiny little hobbit-hole house in the omega timeline.

• Nightmare stole a money-printer from the government in a Mafiatale AU. that’s how he’s so rich.

• also Killer somehow got everyone to name it Jasper. like, if Dust ran out of money, Horror will just tell him “go talk to Jasper.” and everyone just accepts it.

• cross and epic have a thing where if either of them say the word corn, they chant the corn thing from Slimesccle. they have no clue where it came from.

• error, nightmare, cross, epic, and chino have started the Fresh Hate Club.

• Nightmare somehow keeps getting mistaken for Satan. He doesn’t know how. (and it definitely does not bring his already-low self esteem down.) But if there’s a satanic cult nearby, he won’t correct them, in case they can be useful.

• You know how gods have a ‘true form’ that’s ineffable to mortals? all of Reapertale, Ink, and Error. Reaper’s gonna teach Ink and Error how to access their true forms. Dream once saw Ink’s true form and fucking sobbed because he could barely handle it. he’s not a mortal, so he’ll live, but he can barely comprehend it.

• (inspired by The Stupid Chair on ao3). the gang has The Stupid Hat. it’s a horrible bright yellow neon construction hard hat that gets duct-taped to someone’s head if they’re dumb enough to make an easy mission complicated. ex, if Dust provokes the Stars into a fight during a supply run, he gets the hat.

• ccino is a licensed therapist, but he is still depressed

• dream and nightmare have a lot of insecurity around the auras they emit. ‘do they genuinely like me, or do they like my aura?’ ‘does my aura make them feel that negative? do they wish i weren’t here?’

• cross and killer impulsively started a band. They made the instrumentals for half of a song and that’s it. nothing else. they forgot to actually do stuff.

• Dust gets really nervous around medical, scientific places, and doesn’t trust any doctors or scientists except for Sci. but he still refuses to take anything from him, whether it be a shot, or a lollipop. he’s just not having it.

• killer sleeps on the floor because sleeping in a bed still feels strange to him. he also keeps the windows open because he used to sleep in the cold. gets really anxious about the price of something, money in general, so even if he can afford something, he just steals it.

• horror will get random flashbacks of the Core, or Gaster, and he’s not sure why, but on the rare occasion he meets a Gaster, he always ends up feeling “fake” afterwards. like he’s not supposed to be here, not supposed to do this.

[rukkako]

Yknow, back in the day of around 4??? 5 months ago??? i was playing warframe like every other day, when, upon finishing this one grineer extermination, I recieved this weird transmission. Something about a "candidate" being "ready". While I was heading to extraction I came across this one enemy marked by a red dot, so, without thinking much about it, I killed him and mercy'd him. I remember thinking "damn. My nova prime is so cool" while I looked at her absolutely demolish this random grineer's liver with her parazon. It was only when I returned to my orbiter that I was made aware of what I had just done. I had created him. Coheg Rott.

I didn't know what was happening; who was this man? Why did he have my nova's little bow on his shoulder? Why was he so unbelievably fucking stupid? I stood there, maw agape, listening to Coheg telling me about how I had "taken his arms and his legs but that was no more" and how he "lived and killed, killed and lived" and how he now had a "SECTORRRRRRRRR" and I remember thinking "oh boy. I hope this isn't that much of a problem."

Coheg then proceeded to take my fucking shit every time I went to earth. He took my money. He took my void traces. He even took my rare mods. And every. fucking. time. I had to listen to his stupid ass voice. Telling me how he "was the boss now" and how "Sectorrr… is… mine…!!!! sectorrr!!!! yes!!!!!! sectorrrrrrr!!!!!!!"

I hated Coheg. I grew to absolutely despise him. I had now a bastard, ugly, stupid child taking my lunch money every time I dared go to earth. It was devastating really. I didn't do anything about it for months, and during that time my hatred and contempt for him grew. So I started hatching a plan.

I had to take him down. I couldn't stand the idea of having created such a creature. A tyrant with the brain capacity of a goldfish. So I wised up (watched a bunch of youtube tutorials on liches) and I learnt some stuff. You have to kill his thralls. You have to keep stabbing him in the gut. You need to find out the correct mod order. You want him to have a good weapon like the Kuva Nukor or the Kuva Bramma, and not something like a Kohm.

So I started my mission. I went into his territories. I killed his slightly less ugly children (you're telling me this guy FUCKED?????) and I started stabbing him repeatedly. And getting those requiem mods, oh, it was QUITE the god damn pain, but it was worth it. All to see my bastard son Coheg retort and twist in pain and scream in fear and rage. It filled me with a satisfaction unknown to me up til then.

So I kept. on. doing it. Each time he ran away and each time I relentlessly followed him. He managed to get to sedna. During my travels, I met some kind strangers that stuck with me and helped me take my bastard son Coheg down, them also dealing with their own paternity problems.

And so the moment came. I finally stabbed Coheg three times with my pointy arm weapon and he fled to the proxima region. It. Was. Time.

I equipped my nova. She started this, she had to finish it.

He wailed and screamed and yelled. But he went down in no time.

And I was about to vanquish him… when I remembered.

"This fucking sucker has a Kuva Kohm."

And I realized that, during all that adventure, I'd started to… become used to his fucking raging stupidity. That if I killed him, I was gonna… miss him.

So I didn't.

He follows my orders now. Sector ISN'T his now. And my Coheg nightmares are over.

What's the lesson here folks? Always check out what weapon someone is gonna give you before sleeping with them. Also, I would make an absolutely dogshit abusive mother. So I guess I'm not having any children in the future.

Thanks for reading. And for the last time: Fuck you Coheg. (Affectionate)

[ajockeynamedpod]

Also I don’t know why I bother introducing people to langmaxx as a concept because my god people have their minds made up about Maxx and they either hate him or put them with r***** so they’re not gonna care either way. or rather, they’ll care so much they’ll send me anon hate for posting on my own blog (not in the tag) that I don’t like that one since there’s two other people on the planet apparently that don’t

so I don’t know why I fucking bother trying to show people what I think is a cool concept when it’s like… I dunno

I really wanted people to see the concept and take to it because it really is so good. but im screaming into the void and no one’s listening. I want people to listen but I also want to be a person with feelings. maybe it’s not good. maybe people just don’t care. I don’t know

two years now I’ve been hoping it would catch on, making posts, trying to show the dynamic that I think is so so good and just… nothing to show for all my trying. I have two fankids, one singular person who sees it like I do, a post floating around insulting my intelligence regarding r***** (im not putting his name because clearly people found my post somehow), and I think about 4 anon hate messages due to aforementioned post

I dunno man. I still love it, I always will, but i wish I had more people to have fun with it WITH yknow?

sorry lang’s not pretty enough I guess