#I think I just miss how we got to bonk things with a staff in origins

[housederiva]

I’m not gonna get over how pretty the dagger is, I really hope Rook (even has a mage) gets to use it as a close range weapon

[colonelpancakes]

Continued!

Harrow!! I've missed him...

Aww, I love how Harrow talks about Callum. It’s so clear that part of him wanting to marry Sarai is becoming a step-dad for Callum and that he already loves Callum.

Also, this confirms that Callum did know his birth dad since Harrow mentions it's only been a year since he died and Callum's a toddler.

Viren, while I do feel you are giving Harrow good advice for his specific situation, I also feel that you are going to take that advice out of context and use it as a justification to do horrible things in the future.

Or you know, you could use it as justification to do horrible things right now, that’s an option too.

“Star-truth ritual” interesting, I wonder if that’s similar to the sun-forge ritual that they tried to put Viren through. If it is, then I wonder if each arcanum has a different way to purify dark magic, or if it's unique to the stars and sun (and possibly moon) because those types of magic are drawn from sources that give off light.

This sounds like a great solution but also we are definitely setting up Chekov's Dark Magic.

On second thought I am not so sure about the relative safety of drinking spider venom and then flying as high as you can. I know they said it would be dangerous but combination spider venom and low oxygen absolutely sounds like a recipe for passing out mid-flight

skjfalskf I love Viren adding on “literally”. Also, Puzzle House mention! Wooh!

My guy, he has a point. You do have to at least EXPLAIN why you won’t give him the staff, literally it could do nothing but benefit both of you. Worse outcome is he doesn’t change his mind and then that just puts you in the same situation you are in now but, you could at least explain.

Viren buddy I feel like you might be projecting a bit.

Well that escalated. Damn. We know how he got in the coin now

NOPE! nopenopenopenopeNOPE. I would NOT be letting the spider bite me no way. I don't care if it'll cleanse my soul, I would just let myself stay corrupted hell to the no.

I feel like bonking it on the head would do the trick

Ssklfjlaksdf Yup, there it is

Before we send Callum off to space, uhh are we sure he's okay? Has the star-spider venom been tested on humans before? He doesn't look too good...

OH HOLY SHIT THAT IS A GORGEOUS SHOT! That is such a beautiful shot oh my god.

Oh my god, this episode is so freaking beautiful. I am a sucker for any imagery involving wings, or birds and oh wow. This is just such a pretty moment. Also, yeah, Callum's breathing is definitely getting worse the higher he goes that's not good.

Ough, the fucking delivery on those lines gutted me. Callum…

ICARUS! ICARUS IMAGETR! I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT I FUCKING LOVE ICARUS IMAGERY! Ough... the way his feathers fall as his wings transform, the music, the framing holy shit this is so fucking gorgeous holy fuckgni shitg.

UH VIREN??? Yeah man??? I don’t suppose you got them in a nice consensual way after having a clear talk with her about the benefits and challenges of using this method? No of course he didn’t, it's Viren. Also, ohhh the way that Viren’s voice starts shaking and speeding up as he talks about Lissa… I haven’t mentioned it yet this season but Viren’s voice actor is so damn good.

...I UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DIVORCED HIM NOW. Good grief, jesus fuck.

Also, Viren, don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, detailing how you abused your son’s mother to save his life might be just a little bit traumatizing for Soren to read?

It's Raylaaa!!! His deepest truth is Rayla!!!! I fucking love this scene. The way it parallels the ending of season three where he saves Rayla from falling to her death by forming mage wings for the first time, whereas now Rayla saves him from falling to his death by giving him the realization that he needs in order to fly again. I love them so much and this is a super beautiful shot Oh my god. My babies… 🥹🥹🥹

HUGG!!!! BABIES!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!

Okay. Lissa. I entirely understand why you divorced Viren, it was a good call, completely reasonable. Now. WHY DIDN’T YOU TAKE THE KIDS????? You gave them a choice of which parent to stay with?? Because surely your abusive husband is going to be a perfectly fine and not at all abusive father to your children??? Why the heck would you leave your two toddlers with him and then never visit them again, making it so that their abusive dad is the only parent they have growing up. Lissa. Come on man.

Ohhh… Soren… Honey…

 kasfjlkasfj Yeah there is still no good way to break that news.

Oh… Viren… He doesn’t give Soren the letter because just like Kosmo said, it might be the truth, but learning more about the horrible things his father had done for his sake knowing the reasons why their mother left them wouldn’t help him heal. It would only make him feel responsible for more things that aren’t his fault. So, even if it denies Viren the ability to share the truth and his story and the reason why he did those things, he doesn’t share them because it would only benefit himself. Not Soren. I do love how, despite everything, Viren’s motivations really are selfless. He wants the best for his kids even though he doesn’t always do the best for his kids. Good job, Viren. You did a good thing.

Also I understand the burning letter from the Moonless Night credits now.

And for the second time, I've run out of images. Continued again in reblogs!

Watching The Dragon Prince Season Six Part Six! Moment of Truth. Under the cut as per the usual! This episode will reveal my habit of using more pet names for characters the more distressed I become!

I’d just like to say that every time the intro plays, I experience a few seconds of intense fear as I wait to see if it’s Callum again. They've done it twice now I am fully expecting them to do it again.

Oh dang, that is a beautiful opening shot of the sunrise. Absolutely stunning.

Ohh, Callum honey. I know the feeling, it sucks.

Aww, Raylaaaa. I love her trying to cheer Callum up with the crown, it's so sweet…

Ohh... poor Callum... Yeah, that would be a blow to anyone’s self esteem. Especially when we know from The Frozen Ship that Callum's been struggling with the idea that he had already permanently ruined himself by using dark magic.

(Also again, the voice acting is amazing.)

Oh, you know, that’s a good idea! Since they don’t really need to kill Aaravos they just need to stop him from being freed and the main threats to his status as imprisoned are Claudia finding the pearl or Callum getting possessed. If it’s in the Starscraper being guarded by Celestial Elves, then that’s both problems solved! Claudia doesn’t know where it is and it’d be pretty difficult for a possessed Callum to go get it, especially not before anyone could stop him. Good thinking Rayla!

OH GOD.

...On the one hand that’s really bad and a serious problem but on the other hand that is so fucking funny. The magic prison you've been carrying wrapped in an anti-magic blanket through the freezing cold is a giant M&M. Sorry. There is no good way to deliver the news, huh.

Oh, Callum… The way his voice shakes and he sounds so out of breath like he’s having a panic attack. Poor baby.... 🥺

Oh, Honey…

And of course it makes him feel worse because to him, if it really was Aaravos influencing Callum without him knowing, then it’s confirming that, not only is there the possibility that he could one day become a threat to his friends safety, he actively is a threat to them. And if it was simply an accident, at the very least, there’s something he can do to prevent another accident. If it's an accident, then it's something that he did and something that he can make an effort to not let it happen again in the future. Whereas if it’s Aaravos, there’s nothing he can do. The thing he could have done to prevent Aaravos possessing him is not use dark magic but that ship has sailed. He’d be entirely helpless and it’d be his own fault.

Also, it goes without saying but I’m going to say it anyways: Give Callum’s VA an award, the voice-acting is so good, the franticness, the hyperventilation. It’s so good.

Ooh, I love this style of flashback. I love the way that it’s the same artstyle as the credits and how it makes perfect sense since in-universe, Viren’s writing all this down on a piece of parchment. Also, I think that this is first time we’ve heard Lissa’s name in the actual show! I love how you can already see that Claudia got her hair-texture from Lissa while Soren got his from Viren.

Soren with his little dragon plushy!!!! I'm going to start crying...

Hmm. I know it’s probably just coincidence, but the fact that Soren seemingly had a terminal respiratory disease makes me wonder if maybe he had the same condition as Callum’s father, since Callum said that Damian had “some sort of terrible breathing sickness.”

THE QUOTE FROM HARROW!!!! OUGH! “Claudia and I are still searching for a creative solution." "Call it what it is. Dark magic." vs "I found a creative solution. I suppose I should call it what it is, dark magic." The growth.

Oh?? I’ve always been curious what it is about the staff that enhances dark magic since it doesn’t come from a specific primal source. Usually, it comes from taking the life force of living things, but how does a staff help with that? Hmm…

Okay, I’ve questioned this before but. What is up with Kpp’Ar’s arm? It’s clearly injured… Is he using his own blood for spells? It feels like such a random detail to add without explanation. I wonder if we’ll find out...

Ah, so Harrow isn’t king yet. Interesting… I guess that makes sense since Kpp’Ar doesn’t appear in any of the Magma Titan flashbacks.

I think I remember Kpp’Ar having given up dark magic from The Puzzle House (please forgive me if I'm wrong my memory is shit), but I wonder what could have happened to make him veer away from dark magic and the staff to the point where he won’t consider using them to save a child… The royal family doesn’t have Aaravos’s mirror yet so I don’t think it could be that. I am so curious about this man...

KPP’AR MAN, COME ON! I get that you’ve seen some things but you could at the bare minimum be a LITTLE more tactful than that! If there’s some reason that the staff can’t be used, you could, I don’t know, EXPLAIN IT to Viren? Instead of just leaving him sobbing in the room with no explanation as to why you are letting his son die? ...I see where Viren gets it from.

Sksfjalkjslkf  I forgot about the monochrome so when the scene switched back to the Starscraper I was like wait what the hell is happening?

Kosmo, man, I’m not sure this is helping, but also, Callum petting Sneezles for emotional support… I love themm…

Callum, honey… Ough... I am going to cry I love Callum so much. Sweetie…

Ssakljfsalkfj Rayla trying gently elbow Kosmo away from Callum.

Callum, honey, sweetie, darling, sweetheart, love… The fact that he’s just utterly given up on himself and on his ability to continue. That he thinks he’s just too far gone, that there’s nothing left so there’s no point in even trying… Ough. And the implications of refusing to get rid of Aaravos’s control considering the fact that he made Rayla promise to kill him if he ever got controlled again and she did. Oh, honey… Callum’s arc this season is repeatedly punching me directly in the stomach.

Plus the voice acting, again. The way he sounds so dead and empty and almost apathetic, like it’s already over, like there’s just no point to anything anymore. AHG.

Once a dumb sibling always a dumb sibling.

“Truth is everything. But before you give it to another, ask yourself, are you giving them clarity, light, and purpose? Or are you shifting a burden to someone who needs all their strength?” I really like Astrid and I like how they're not going the "lying is always bad, telling the truth is always good in every situation no matter the context" route and instead acknowledging that it requires more nuance! Also, I love how Astrid is animated here, her body language is very expressive and fun.

OH? Oh that explains why it was monotone I had been thinking that it was just like, a sudden style change to portray the emotions or something skjfaslkj. That make a lot more sense.

Also, I like the clarification of how the future-sight works! It seems kind of like Clearsight’s ability in Wings of Fire where she can see all of the possible futures that diverge from her decision. Kosmo can see the possibilities that arise from his decision of whether to tell the truth or not and then pick the best option once he’s seen the diverging paths. It’s probably my favorite form of “prophetic” ability and I especially appreciate it being used here since it lets Timeblind elves like Kosmo exist while still holding true to the themes in the show about the nonexistence of destiny and how the choices you make impact the future.

Okay, I still feel like being Timeblind would suck. I can only imagine Kosmo feeling super awkward repeating what he said in the vision and like. I don’t know but I feel like it’d be creepy to have the people around you constantly parrot what you’ve already heard them say like they’re reading from scripts and you know what they’re about to say and the exact tone they’ll say it in a second before the words come out of their mouths. That would entirely creep me out.

Self confidence restored!!

Continued in reblogs, curse the tumblr image limit

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 36

Sorry about the delay. But now its here and its ready for consumption.

Also, Shout to @asongeverlasting for beta reading for me and making sure I actually got this out.

Check her writing out on AO3 as ShamelesslyRomantic,

(Master post)

(Read the fic in a more condensed on Ao3)

_____________________________________________________________

“Finished,” the artist akuma stated as he addressed his master.

Masquerade got up from her throne to look at the room. The classroom had been transformed into a rather spacious throne room. The artist had erased and redrawn walls to ensure the room was much larger. This new space also had several large windows adorned with elegant black and white curtains hanging from the top. Reflekta servants decked out in masquerade themed armor stood at attention on each step leading to her throne. Beautiful artwork of her decorated the walls, including an imposing portrait of her behind her throne that made it look as if she was looking down at everyone looking up at it. To her that came off as self-interested yet tasteful. The masked akuma even loved the addition of a red carpet that led up to her throne.

“This is quite satisfactory, Evillustrator. Just be sure to reinforce the walls of the room then head to the roof and locate Simularé. I want this place to be a fortress,” Masquerade ordered

“Understood,” the akuma nodded, his expression unreadable from the white face mask. He quickly headed to the door out of the room and Stone heart was guarding the door with his large frame and had to let the artist out.

“Gamer! Robostus! Status report!”

“We have made it so we could hack into every screen in Paris that is connected to the internet, as per your request,” the Gamer responded in monotone.

Masquerade smiled at that.

“Excellent. Do we have the cameras ready?”

The Reflekta copies near the robot akuma were being outfitted with recording gear.

“Affirmative, we will be ready to go live at your request.”

The masked akuma smiled at that news, she turned her attention to Princess Fragrance and the original Reflekta, who had just finished turning the last of the captured individuals into obedient copies of her.

“Has everyone in the school been rounded up and handled?”

“Dark Cupid and Reverser are doing a final sweep of any runaway stragglers. Stormy weather is going around flooding and freezing any empty hallways to flush out any that are hiding. There are Reflekta copies guarding the blocked off exits should anyone try and escape. But over 96% of the student body has been accounted for and 99% of all Faculty.” Princess Fragrance answered.

‘The missing ones are likely Marinette and Adrien. Those two never did make anything easy for me, did they? But it didn’t matter, their luck would run out soon enough. Once Ladybug and Chat noir were handled, then I could focus on making them pay,’ Masquerade grinned to herself.

She could picture how it would be, finding them and seeing their desperate faces as they realized that no hero would be able to save them. The first thing she would do was show them both her little empire. They thought she was bad when she had the school wrapped around her finger, they will be mortified when they see Paris. She would have all their friends and family captured, their best friends leading the cruel treatment of the rest. This would have them in tears and begging for mercy.

She did once consider letting Adrien be her boyfriend, with some perfume to sway him. He would have been a perfect boytoy to taunt Marinette with, but Masquerade realized how far above him she was now. She didn’t need him anymore, and truthfully, he was just as bad as Marinette, if not worse. Marinette had the audacity to dislike her and challenge her, but Adrien, he was so condescending, acting like she should be better than her actions. She could swear she saw pity in his eyes, and that was so much worse.

Though she wasn’t completely heartless, if they begged to be her personal servants and apologized for standing against her, then maybe she would let them have some mercy. Having Marinette clean up after her and make those admittedly delicious baked goods would be nice and having Adrien wait on her hand and foot like a personal butler would be quite fun. Maybe they would think if they did a good enough job their families would suffer less.

She did want to daydream about that idea more but she knew that she needed to focus on the present.

“Alright, Let’s start moving to stage 2. Gamer! I want a comprehensive list of every akuma victim outside of the school. Robostus! Make sure the cameras and broadcast are ready when I tell you. I want everything to go off without a hitch.”

“Affirmative!” Gamer and Robostus responded in equal robotic unison.

“Reflekta! Princess Fragrance! After all of the copies pick up the stragglers, I want you scanning the area for Ladybug and Chat noir. Bubbler and Lady Wifi… wait. I think I remember something.”

She paused to check her charm, she noticed the question mark charm and touched it, allowing her to focus and see what akuma it was.

“Cancel that order, remain on standby unless we get approached.”

“Yes… so this is what that voice meant by merging. How very interesting. I think I will let that new akuma keep its directive. Ladybug and Chat noir will have no chance of beating...”

An akuma merged with Lady Wifi, Bubbler and Oblivio. Combined to make something new. Something that she knew even the heroes would have trouble fighting.

“Deadzone.” Masquerade said with a devilish grin.

______________________________________________________________________________

Ladybug and Chat Noir made their way down the hall. They easily dealt with a few Reflekta clones without much effort and continued moving.

They were expecting to see more akuma lurking about, but strangely, the halls they were walking down were all either empty or only covered by Reflekta duplicates.

“Masquerade likely has her stronger forces consolidating after bringing in as many people to her as they could. Those that didn’t hit the mark likely got turned into the copies we bumped into.” Ladybug answered.

“That does explain why they were singing, like when Princess Fragrance made servants,” the cat hero added.

“This might be our only time to catch a break before confronting her.”

“So, since we have time, do you mind if I ask if you're free to go on Patrol tonight?” the cat hero casually inquired.

Ladybug stopped.

“Tonight? That is quite sudden. Plus, we still don’t know how this will play out.” Ladybug gestured to the school.

“Well I am going to assume we stop the akuma and save the day like always.” Chat noir commented. “Call it a safe bet, but we usually win.”

“Always the positive outlook, Chaton. I’m glad you have so much faith in us despite our numbers disadvantage.”

“You said it yourself, most of the servants are pushovers or just puppets. The only real threat is Lila. And we have faced worse."

“True, but not anything this sinister,” Ladybug tacked on.

“Didn’t we fight Hawkmoth a couple of months back?” Chat noir asked with a twinge of confusion. Was Ladybug implying what he thought she was?

Ladybug held her tongue.

“You’re kidding right? You think Lila is eviler than Hawkmoth!” Chat Noir exclaimed in shock.

“No no no! Not eviler … just a bit cleverer than him,” Ladybug confessed.

Chat noir looked at his partner skeptically, but then considered her words.

“She is manipulative. Considering even without being akumatized she has done some rather twisted stuff. But thinking she is evil is a bit much. Especially when there is someone responsible for forcing emotionally vulnerable people to do his bidding,” Chat noir pointed out.

“Isn’t that what she is doing right now?”

“Yes, but she was akumatized. If we started blaming people for their actions as akuma we would have to throw innocent people in jail.”

“Right… but you read that article on the Ladyblog right? She could be more than just a victim of Hawkmoth, she could be an ally.”

The Cat hero thought about it more but was still not entirely convinced.

“I guess underestimating her would be dumb, but maybe she isn’t completely evil. I mean Chloé ended up showing a bit of humanity and did some good, maybe Lila is capable of it too.”

The crimson clad heroine smiled a bit.

“That’s what I like about you, Chat, you always focus on the good in others.”

The black clad hero gave a Cheshire grin.

“When it comes to the team, you’re the brains, and I’m the sidekick who brings the smiles and the heartfelt speeches.”

“You aren’t my sidekick, Chat Noir, we are partners. And you could be the brains too, if you would use yours outside of pun making.” Ladybug playfully bonked his noggin.

The cat chuckled at the playful teasing.

“Fair enough, but I can’t help it if I FELINE making a quip.”

Ladybug could feel herself groan at the lame joke.

“I take it back… you are the sidekick,” Ladybug deadpanned, her tone of mock annoyance causing the cat to chuckle.

“Alright I’ll…” He stopped speaking as he noticed something was amiss.

Chat Noir’s left ear twitched. He heard approaching footsteps.

“We better get moving, this abandoned hallway isn’t going to be so abandoned in a minute.”

“More Reflekta clones?”

Chat Noir extended the staff to the ground, his face showing a sudden sternness.

“No… Winter is coming.”

______________________________________________________________________________

Viperion peered through the door of the locker room.

“Clear.”

The snake and dragon heroes entered with their akuma prisoner.

“Pick a locker and let’s toss her in,” Ryuuko commented as she held the squirming akuma.

The two paused their movement when they heard a rustling in the lockers.

“Do you hear that?” Viperion questioned.

“How could I not?” Ryuuko replied.

Just as the two stared at the rustling lockers. The two shaking lockers doors flew off their hinges.

And stepped out an akuma that neither hero recognized.

“I don’t remember seeing that akuma before,” Ryuuko stated.

“Neither do I, but it seems vaguely familiar,”  Viperion responded.

As the Akuma was gathering its bearings, the heroes tried to gauge its powers. It had broad shoulders that had spherical, dark purple balls around them, which were connected to tight black sleeves with 3 white circular stripes at the end that ended at his wrists. Its left hand had a fingerless black glove which showed its skin akin to a purple silhouette. The other hand was what appeared to be a black laser canon with a phone attached to it. On its back was a large red, purple and black pipe which seemed to act as a holster to a blue bubble wand.  Its face was obscured by a large white theater mask much like all the other akuma. But there was the impression that it had distinct features. Its chest had a rounded purple bubble on the top half of its body akin to round armor and it had a logo that appeared to be a WiFi signal within an eye in a cage. The lower half appeared more akin to a skintight jumpsuit that was black with white stripes at the feet.

The akuma turned its attention to the two heroes.

“So umm… what are you doing in the locker room?”

“Merge complete, Deadzone is active. Mission objective, Capture Ladybug and Chat Noir,” The akuma answered in a robotic tone less as a response to the question and more as a statement, their voice sounded like the mix of two people.

“Well, Deadzone, we can’t let you do that!”  Ryuuko exclaimed as she glared at the akuma.

The akuma pointed its blaster at her.

“Your opinion on that really doesn’t have an impact on us.”

Deadzone’s left hand touched the phone on their blaster, and a purple bubble with a pause insignia shot out. Ryuuko and Viperion both jumped back as the bubble had direct contact with their akuma prisoner, causing her to be motionless as the bubble turned green and floated to the roof of the room.

“Okay, so don’t touch the bubbles,” Viperion noted.

“Positive side, we don’t need to worry about that one akuma,” Ryuuko commented.

Viperion and Ryuuko knew this akuma would be trouble if it got to Ladybug and Chat noir. They were going to need to find a way to stop it.

______________________________________________________________________

Fu had been observing the spoiled Mayor’s daughter after her confrontation with the Reflekta replicas. Using it as a means to help him find Ladybug and Chat Noir. He was aware that this girl had a knack for getting into trouble and making akuma target her, so it would not be too far off to assume she would be useful in locating his chosen. He would have called her, but communication was down, so he would need to adapt. But now he had a rather interesting quandary.

“Should I lend her the miraculous or not?” Fu spoke quietly as he pondered.

It was a tougher question he had initially thought. If he was asked if she was worthy of being a miraculous user, the answer would undoubtedly be negative. She was clearly a spoiled brat who saw herself above others. But after the events when the bee miraculous temporarily fell into her hands, he had started observing her. He did this with all of the chosen ones that Marinette had picked. Not because he didn’t trust his student, but more out of curiosity of why Marinette picked these individuals.

With the one she picked for the fox miraculous, Fu could see that the girl valued justice, but was cunning and saw the importance of distinguishing truth from illusion, an ideal pick for the fox miraculous. As for the Turtle miraculous wielder, Wayzz spoke highly of Nino, which really made him curious about the young lad. That boy showed a willingness to protect those close to him even if it meant getting hurt, and the calm to be ready to wait and roll with things. The miraculous of protection required someone that can keep a cool head and be ready to defend at the drop of a hat.

The other temporary heroes matched pretty well with the traits of the Kwami and were all good people deep down. Fu had no doubts that Marinette had the instincts of a guardian. The only one that brought doubt was Chloé. After the incident where she found the miraculous and got akumatized, Chloé was trusted with the bee miraculous 3 times. And her record had been mixed but overall she was decent when she fell in line and worked with Ladybug and Chat Noir.

Marinette mentioned that she didn’t want to trust Chloé with the miraculous after the last time. But has admitted to Fu that if needed she was a decent Bee heroine.

But if he was wrong and she decided to use this chance to stay being a miraculous wielder, he would have to deal with her as a rogue. Though, considering the circumstances, that would honestly not be the worst situation, as her identity was public and Ladybug and Chat Noir would deal with her like before.

“Wayzz, what do you think?”

His kwami companion popped out of his shirt pocket.

“This is quite a dilemma, Master. The situation is dire, but putting the miraculous in the wrong hands would also make things worse. Perhaps Pollen would be able to give better insight.”

“Very true, my friend.” Fu patted the kwami.

Fu cautiously went into the cleaning cart and pulled out the Bee Miraculous. The bee kwami popped out.

“Good morning, Master,” Pollen greeted the guardian with respect.

“Good afternoon, Pollen. We have a situation and I would like to know your opinion.”

“Very well, I am happy to serve,” The bee kwami replied.

“What do you think of Chloé Bourgeois? The one that used your miraculous recently.”

The kwami put her little hand to her face as she compiled her thoughts.

“She is complicated, Master. She didn’t talk to me much but I kind of got to feel a lot about who she was as a person. She is brash, she is confident, yet she is insecure. She is blunt, stubborn, and set in her ways. But I can tell that she is at a crossroads in her life. There is some small part of her that wants to be good and do good for others outside of herself, but her upbringing has made such a mindset seem like weakness, and she is scared of letting herself be vulnerable. Ladybug has been a good influence on her, but she is still immature in several aspects. She has the potential to be a good queen. If she could break through that self-imposed selfish mentality, she could be something extraordinary,” Pollen explained, finally.

“I see, well that is quite informative. Thank you,” Fu responded, nodding thoughtfully.

He put the Bee Miraculous back in a tiny box, causing her to go dormant.

“So, she is at a crossroad.”  Fu repeated as he stroked his chin

He turned his attention back to Chloé, who had continued walking towards another dead end. When he caught the eye of approaching Reflekta clones. And with that, Fu figured out a way to know.

“I think I just found a way to know the correct answer.”

______________________________________________________________________

“I swear this place is a maze.” Mayura grumbled to herself as she walked the halls.

She noticed her fan shake, notifying her of someone calling. It was Hawkmoth

“Yes?”

“Mayura what are you doing?! You were supposed to find the target and get out!” Hawkmoth exclaimed angrily. “And why did you transform? You knowutilizing the Peacock Miraculous is dangerous.”

Though she wouldn’t admit it, she was somewhat touched by the concern in his voice. Unfortunately, she did not have time to dwell on that so she was going to ignore it, as she had a task at hand

“Some unforeseen circumstances have caused some rather unfortunate delays. I am going to locate the sentimonster and gather information regarding the target. Afterwards, I will assist in getting Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.” Mayura responded.

As she was speaking, an akuma with black wings flew into view along with an akuma riding a paper airplane.

“Seems the akuma servants have located me.”

She notices the akuma began preparing to attack her. They were practically mindless puppets that saw anyone who wasn’t their master as an enemy. This was quite an oversight, but it fit with the motif of the akuma villain. She felt the emotions of that girl, she knew exactly the type of insecurities Lila held. Thankfully for her, it meant they could easily be exploited.

“Get out of there this instant it is too dangerous. You are in no shape to…”

The akumas aimed at the unidentified villainess and fired off paper airplanes and arrows.

“We will discuss this later.” Mayura hung up before turning her attention to the two servants of Masquerade.

Mayura dashed through the hall, expertly avoiding projectiles and blocking with her fan those she couldn’t dodge. She jumped onto Reverser’s glider, grabbed the akuma and threw him at the flying Dark Cupid, leaving the two dazed and tangled together.

“I’m weakened, not helpless,” Mayura commented as she dusted herself off and hopped off the floating paper airplane.

She noticed that the two akuma that attacked her were slow in getting up.

‘Seems the akuma created by Masquerade aren’t just mindless, they are also rather slow in reacting. Ladybug and Chat Noir can exploit that. I suppose with the number of servants she made, this was to be expected. I should locate Simularé and get some details on our akuma’s little plan. I should step in and seize control if she gets too distracted like the last one. Gabriel has always been far too cautious when it comes to his plans, it’s time we were more active.’ Mayura mentally concluded.

She closed her eyes and focused on locating the sentimonster.

“She is on the roof. Odd placement for her most powerful ally, but I suppose there must be some sort of logical reason for what she is planning,” Mayura rationalized.

The peacock themed villainess noticed that the akuma that attacked her were starting to move again, and she decided to pick up her pace a bit.

______________________________________________________________________________

“This is super ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” she exclaimed with anger. “Not a single exit in this place! Why is every exit coated in icky slime?”

She checked her phone.

“And still no signal.”

She ended up chucking her phone out of frustration.

“I wish Ladybug would just get here and beat the akuma, or better yet, come here and give me the bee miraculous so I can help kick butt,” she grumbled as she went to go see where she threw her phone. She'd remembered she actually liked the case she just bought for it and losing that would be a waste.

“H-help me please!” The wails of a person in danger caught Chloé’s attention.

“That sounds like a non-me issue,” the blonde told herself. As she continued walking to her phone.

“If only there was someone here to save me!” the voice called out again.

Chloé stopped moving for a moment.

“Well I am not a hero without the Bee, so I guess he better hope Ladybug and Chat Noir are nearby, or maybe those other two costumed nobodies that I saw earlier,” she said, clearly trying to convince herself not to do anything.

“Please! Ladybug! Chat Noir…. “

"The heroes will handle it." Chloé reasoned with herself as she picked up her phone. Now getting ready to go somewhere else and likely away from the screaming.

“ And a…Queen Bee.”

Chloé’s eyes went wide. Did someone call out for… Queen Bee?!

Chloé started dashing down the halls to the sound of the voice.

“Did someone call for a hero!” Chloé called out, looking confident.

She arrived to see an old man in an ugly Hawaiian shirt being cornered by 3 Reflekta copies. The akuma copies turn to Chloé.

“Surrender,” they sing-songed as they began to approach.

Chloé ran right at them, and proceeded to push them into each other, and let the impractical heels make it hard for them to get back up.

She rushed to the old man.

“Don’t worry, old man with good taste in heroes and nothing else. I, Queen Bee, am here to save you,” Chloé blustered.

“Thank you.” Fu said with a forced smile. She clearly only came when he mentioned her name. But she did show up. In hindsight, maybe his test was not as conclusive as he thought. But then again, he actually planned those out more.

Chloé looked around.

“Alright old man, normally I would have just left you to get saved by Ladybug, but you have good taste in heroes, so I am going to help you out. We need to move before those creepy akumas get back up. So follow me, I know a place you can hide out.” Her tone tried to come off as abrasive, but it did show an inkling of care.

Chloé began moving away from the cluster of Reflektas. The old man shrugged and followed behind. He supposed that this would be another good test for her. Maybe he will get a more definitive answer by keeping an eye on her. And if worse comes to worse, he had a feeling she would make a good distraction should he need to escape a band of akuma.

______________________________________________________________________

“Did you just make a...”

Ladybug was able to pick up on the sound of harsh wind heading their way and decided her scolding of lame references could wait for later. She grabbed her partner's arm and pulled him into the nearby science lab.

She quickly closed the door just as a cold front blasted right past them. The window on the door was covered in ice.

“Stormy Weather?”

“Stormy Weather.”

The two both look at each other with a bit of worry. The storm akuma was one of their more powerful foes, and with complete control of the weather in such a tight space, things were going to get tough.

“Any ideas?”

Ladybug weighed her options. Would now be the time to use her lucky charm? or should she save it for when they are in front of Masquerade? It was starting to get harder to make that call.

“We can’t have her roaming the halls, we will need to incapacitate her. So I say have your ice power up ready, and be ready to swap power ups at the drop of a hat. Stormy Weather may be tough, but we still have tricks up our sleeve.”

Chat Noir nodded.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Ladybug and Chat Noir both popped their Ice blue power ups and shift into their Ice forms. The two watched as the other’s suit gained ice skates, ice crystal and snowflake accents, becoming Ladyice and Icecat.

(AN: Yes, according to the Wiki, that’s what they are calling them. Personally, I would have called them Ladyfrost and Cold noir/ Cool Cat but that’s just me. This isn’t relevant to the story, I just wanted you all to know that.)

“You know, Ladybug, you really give off the ice skater vibe. Would you say you have experience ice skating outside of this form?” Chat Noir asked.

Ladybug felt her mind flash to her date with Adrien and her cheeks turned red.

“I- I may have some experience. And how about you, Kitty?” she deflected.

“Well, now that you mention it, I…”

They heard a loud bang on the door, cracking the ice that covered the window to reveal the white theater mask that Stormy Weather had covering her face.

“I’m gonna give it to her, she really knows how to break the Ice,” Chat Noir joked.

“Chaton, cool it with all of the ice puns,” she stated.

“Wait, was that a pun? My Lady I... OH SHI…”

A large ice stalactite burst through the door interrupting their banter and almost skewering them.

Chat Noir was about to say something when Ladybug cut in.

“Chat Noir, you are my partner and I respect you greatly. But so help me, if you say we should put this conversation on ‘Freeze’, I will not save you if you get impaled.” Ladybug stated.

Chat Noir paused.

“You know me so well,” he said with a smile.

The two watched as Stormy Weather entered the room through the stalactite hole.

______________________________________________________________________

“Hey Viperion?”

“Yea Ryuuko?”

“We both agree that we need to stop that crazy akuma right?”

“That is correct.”

“Then why are you carrying me away from it!?” Ryuuko exclaimed.

Viperion had picked up the dragon heroine fireman style in order to pull her away from the pursuing akuma.

“Do you want the reasons in alphabetical order?” the snake hero sassed.

“We can take it,” Ryuuko asserted. “We can’t retreat! There is no honor in it!”

“Well considering neither of our weapons can touch them, the concept of honor has flown out the window. Not to mention, I seriously doubt that we can take them on without a plan, and don’t say ‘try to hit them harder’ is a plan. It isn’t.”

Viperion had a smug look as he noticed Ryuuko look away.

“You’re right, but I'm mad about it,” the dragon heroine huffed.

“I can live with that.”

Viperion took a sharp left and noticed a dozen Reflekta duplicates.

“Juleka?”

“Come with us,” the clones sang.

“I’m going to assume they aren’t her,” Ryuuko said as she got off Viperion’s shoulders.

She punched his arm.

“Ow.”

“Your shoulder was bumpy.”

Ryuuko drew her weapon and dashed past the group of Reflekta clones. After a second, she holstered her weapon and all of the clones dropped to the floor groaning.

“Wow.” Viperion was impressed. He had to admit that it was super cool.

“Don’t worry, I used the flat end of the sword. They will be fine, and hopefully they will slow down the akuma.”

The two continued running, but glanced back as Deadzone arrived. He looked at the clones getting up and blasted each one into a green bubble in which they remained motionless and floated to the ceiling of the hall.

“It can’t distinguish between friend or foe,” Viperion commented.

“What?”

Viperion turned to his comrade.

“I think I just got an idea.”

__________________________________________________________________________

“This way,” the bossy blond teen motioned.

Fu pushed his janitor cart as they moved in the hallway.

“Do you really need to move that hideous thing with us?” Chloé questioned with clear aggravation.

“It's very important,” Fu responded.

“Ugh, whatever. Just move faster, then.”

Fu nodded and picked up the pace.

The mayor’s daughter led them down the hall and they had managed to avoid attracting attention.

“Okay, we are here.”

Fu looked at the door and realized that it was the nurse’s office.

“Hopefully the nurse didn’t get herself captured while I was gone.”

Chloé went to open the door and noticed it was locked.

“What the…”

“Let me try.” Fu interjected.

“Fine, just hurry up.”

He pulls out a jingling set of keys. Chloé shrugged as she turned around to keep watch.

Fu let his kwami companion out to open the door. Wayzz quickly undid the lock and opened the door before sliding back out of view.

“All done,” Fu said.

Chloé turned around as Fu opened the door.

The two quickly ran inside and locked the door behind them.

“Nurse Arugula!” Chloé called out. “I have a guest for you!”

“Arugala?”

“It was something with an A.” Chloé commented.

The two waited a few seconds, but there was no response.

They moved deeper into the office.

“Are you here?” Chloé questioned.

They flicked on the light switch to see the nurse in the cot.

“Oh, that’s great, I leave to go get help and be a hero and she goes off napping!” Chloé fumed.

Fu moved to the nurse and noticed she had a bruise on her neck, indicating that she was clearly forced into this state. He jabbed a pressure point and the nurse jolted awake.

“HUAGH!”

She nearly fell out of the cot.

“Glad you can join us from your nap,” Chloé hissed.

“Chloé? Did you call for help?” The nurse inquired as she gathered her bearings.

“No, the school is a total dead zone, and I couldn’t find a way out because they are all blocked by slime. Side note, I found this old guy.”

The nurse turned to the old man.

“Hello. I’m Angela.” She politely introduced herself.

“Nice to meet you. I am… Fung,” Fu lied. He couldn’t be too careful.

“Nice to meet you Fung, despite the circumstances,” she tried to make light of the situation.

“Every meeting can have a positive circumstance if one is looking for it.”

The calm in the air died when Angela realized that someone was missing.

“Oh no! The women you left in my care! She knocked me out and stormed out of here.” Angela exclaimed.

“Welp, she is probably captured,” Chloé shrugged.

“We have to find her, she has some sort of strange illness. Leaving her out there might be dangerous, akuma or not.”

Angela prepared to move to the door but was stopped by Chloé.

“Oh no you don’t! I brought this old man here for safety. You stay here with him.”

“But my patient!”

The woman was clearly shaking, but she was determined, she wanted to help her patient even if it meant going into danger. But much to Fu’s surprise, Chloé stepped up.

“I will bring your patient back. Mostly because being stuck in here seems much worse than dealing with a bunch of dumb akuma.”

Angela hugged Chloé.

“Thank you.”

Chloé tried to look annoyed, but a ghost of a smile appeared on the mayor’s daughter’s face. She accepted the hug for a moment.

Fu took notice. He had made his decision.

“Alright, enough touching! You deal with sick people all day. I don’t want germs,” Chloé stated as she tried to give off her usual air.

“That is very brave of you, young one.” Fu spoke.

“Pff, this is nothing. It’s what heroes do.”

As Chloé began making her way out of the nurse’s office, Fu quietly slipped the tiny miracle box into her bag.

‘I hope this was worth the risk.’

_____________________________________________________________

(END OF CHAPTER)

Well things are really heating up.

Will Ladyice and Icenoir be able to deal with stormy weather? Will Deadzone be the dead end for Ryuuko and Viperion? What is Masquerade's villainous plan? Will I update faster than every 40 or so days?

Let me know your thoughts and if you did enjoy the story.

REBLOG it and comment. Likes are nice but they don't really help content creators like they should.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #233: The Annihilation Gambit!

July, 1983

“Up against... the BARRIER!”

Pretty cool cover!

So here’s the thing. This is a crossover with Fantastic Four. John Byrne even gets a credit for breakdowns and co-plotting.

I’m not going to completely cover the related FF issues but I’ll dip into the relevant parts of them.

For example, let’s discuss Fantastic Four #254 which coincided with the ending of Avengers #232. The thing with the fleeing crowd that didn’t know what they were fleeing and the invisible wall She-Hulk bonked off of? What’s the deal with that?

Allow me to summarize.

The Fantastic Four went off to explore the Negative Zone and had a series of weird and silly adventures. They left Alicia behind to babysit Franklin but Annihilus popped out of the portal and took them captive. This happened back in #251 so he’s had the run of the place for a while!

He’s been making modifications to the Negative Zone Access Portal and adapting the generators. For whatever reason, switching the machine on sends out potent fear waves which causes everyone to flee the area of the Baxter Building. There scene where She-Hulk and Wasp see the fleeing crowd and bonks off an invisible wall repeats.

And that’s all you need to know! Annihilus is messing around, potent fear waves, invisible wall, Avengers!

Now let’s get to the Avengers part of this crossover.

The Avengers issue of Avengers starts with Captain Marvel booking it over New York musing about what an eventful day she’s had as a full-fledged Avenger.

What with having to rescue President Reagan after he was taken hostage by soggy swamp men. Then Eros (Starfox) showed up and insisted on joining. Then Monica, Starfox, and Thor went off to catch Plantman who engineered the presidential hostage thing. All of that in only six hours!

Monica Marvel Rambeau is on her way to the mansion to give her report when she too bonks into something.

Captain Marvel: “It was as if I bounced off some sort of invisible wall! But that doesn’t make sense!”

Yeah, it really doesn’t!

As Monica herself points out, the wall is invisible ie light is going through it. So her light form should be able to go through it too!

Its a very selective invisible wall, apparently. And it gives her a weird ominous feel to touch.

But she’s not going to let sleeping walls lie and decides to try different energy forms to see if anything can get through.

Annnnnnd. Radios, cosmic rays, electricity, infrared, x-rays, and even gamma rays can’t get through. Although, Monica has the feeling that the wall gave a bit under the gamma, but not enough to matter.

Monica detours around the wall and heads back towards her original destination. AVENGERS MANSION!

When Monica arrives, cool team leader Janet the Wasp van Dyne is talking with the police. Obviously the police aren’t equipped to deal with an invisible dome.

At the least, though, Jan uses the NYPD data-link to figure out where the giant dome is centered.

Also, Wasp has another new outfit. This is the same day.

But its pretty snazzy black and purple so I won’t complain.

Monica tells Jan that Big Trouble is brewing and Jan is basically like ‘oh god now what’ but thankfully Monica and Jan are on the same case.

MEANWHILE, Steve Rogers’ modest Brooklyn Heights apartment. Where Steve Rogers is not having a conversation about his feelings with his girlfriend Bernie Rosenthal because his feelings are classified!

Steve Rogers: “In a way. It’s Avengers business!”

I’d mock this but what has Steve bummed and pacing like a caged bear is that Tony Stark, his good pal who he’ll never Civil War with, has quit the Avengers, gave Iron Man up to someone else, and is trying to drink himself to unconsciousness.

Which is very concerning! But also something you can’t really share the full details of without revealing a lot of secrets that aren’t yours to reveal! I feel like you could at least say ‘I think my friend is an alcoholic but won’t accept my help’ without spilling secrets but shrug.

At least Steve is open with Bernie. Yeah, she knows he’s Captain America!

Truly, the man is a role model. Not just as a superhero but also on dating.

Steve gets a BZZZT on his snazzy cool radio wristwatch, possibly the coolest thing to wear on one’s wrist ha ha don’t think about Avengers wearing Apple Watches.

Anyway, Jan updates Steve on the invisible - and expanding - dome. And that weirdly, there doesn’t seem to be anyone trapped inside because everyone ran away from it because its inexplicably spooky.

So Steve rushes off to Save The Day, stripping mid-run because that’s the kind of casualness and comfort you can have in a relationship where you’re open and honest.

See how Steve didn’t have to make up a half-assed excuse? Maybe think about that, Spider-Man. You’re not in this scene but maybe think about it.

Meanwhile again, the Baxter Building.

Where thankfully for people not reading Fantastic Four, we get an echoed scene where Annihilus motive rants at captive audience Alicia Masters.

Basically, Annihilus is feeling very bummed that Blastaar stole his Cosmic Control Rod in Marvel Two-in-One #75. For one thing, it really tied his whole outfit together. For another, without it, Annihilus isn’t immortal and he’s freaking out about dying. And not dying eventually, he’s apparently got Doom-level messed up face now from how he’s degrading.

So really the only real way to come to terms with mortality is to destroy two whole universes so you don’t die alone.

Annihilus broke Reed’s Negative Zone Access Portal and used its power core to power his own impenetrable NULL-FIELD. Which I guess is the invisible dome.

Annihilus: “How wonderfully ironic -- that a device which once produced a gateway between two universes should provide the power to utterly destroy them!”

I’m missing some middle steps here but basically invisible dome -> ??? -> destruction of the Negative Zone and the, uh, Positive Zone.

A MEEP MEEP from a computer which may be a roadrunner gets Annihilus’ attention and he sees to his shock that She-Hulk has planted her feet and is trying to bodily hold the dome back.

It’s not working but its slowing it almost imperceptibly and even that’s supposed to be impossible.

Annihilus: “What manner of creature is this?!”

I’d guess gamma-powered She-Hulk is having a tiny bit of luck against the dome for the same reason that Captain Marvel did when she tried gamma radiation.

Wasp, Captain America, and Captain Marvel show up to help She-Hulk.

She-Hulk tells the other Avengers that the invisible dome keeps “oozing over everything inanimate” but that she(-Hulk) can’t stop it.

Cap suggests using his shield despite the risk of losing it inside the dome.

Because, when Captain America uses his mighty shield, all who oppose his shield must yield. So maybe he’s onto something.

She-Hulk plants the shield in the ground in the path of the dome.

So good news/bad news.

The dome doesn’t swallow up the shield. But the dome just pushes the shield, carving a little furrow in the ground.

That cracks me up a little, I will not lie.

I don’t know why Cap’s super cool shield is exempt from getting schlorped up by the null-field but now they have a good idea where it is without having to bonk!

Speaking of bonk, Thor and Starfox come to join the party and Starfox runs right into the invisible wall.

Hee hee hee.

He also drops right into She-Hulk’s arms and they have a mutual banter moment.

She-Hulk: “Hmm! I’ve never had anyone fall for me like this before!”

Starfox: “I assure you it was totally unplanned... but rarely have I fallen into such open and inviting arms!”

If I recall correctly, they do hook up at one point and then years later She-Hulk beats seven kinds of shit out of him when the question arises of whether his powers influenced her into it.

At least Starfox is receptive and she’s not stalking Ben Grimm.

Anyway, Thor tries his hand at busting the null-field by shooting a bunch of lightning at it. Even though Captain Marvel tells him she already tried electricity.

Thor gotta Thor though.

And when the field stands firm against all the lightning, he gets pissed and hurls his hammer into it.

Mjolnir flies into the field, loses steam, and just pitches gently to Earth.

Bit confusing. I wonder why Cap’s shield can’t go through the dome but Mjolnir can.

BY THE WAY, THEY LEFT CAP’S SHIELD JAMMED AGAINST THE DOME.

They don’t comment on it but you can see it still gouging up the pavement. I guess they’re using it to mark where the dome is?

Amazing.

Anyway, Thor marvels at how Mjolnir left no mark on the invisible barrier and how its not returning to his hand like it should. Clearly there’s some weird property of the barrier interfering with Mjolnir.

Cap points out yeah thats interesting but isn’t there something that happens if you have Mjolnir out of hand for too long?

So Thor runs away and turns into Normal Doctor Donald Blake in an alleyway where nobody can see it happen.

Again: amazing.

Thor is basically out of the story because Normal Doctor Donald Blake can’t do anything to affect the barrier and he can’t get Mjolnir back while its up. So he’s just going to be twiddling his thumbs.

MEANWHILE, at Cross Technological Enterprises.

Hawkeye tries to cajole inventor Jorge to build some contraption for him but the man protests that he designed it in his spare time but if he builds a working model on staff, CTE will own the invention.

Unless someone approves a sub-contractor waiver that will let him keep the rights but who would do such a thing for him??

Hawkeye decides that as head of security he’ll do such a thing. I don’t know if head of security has any kind of sway like that but I imagine that won’t stop Hawkeye from insisting that he does.

Then Hawkeye hears about the Avengers dealing with the dome thing and gets sad that he can’t be out there with them.

Hawkeye: “Blast it, I oughta be out there with the rest of the Avengers! But, as long as my leg’s in a cast, I’m a liability to ‘em... until I prove otherwise!”

Maybe focus on letting your leg heal!

I don’t know what nonsense you’re brewing up and I know that months is forever in comic book time but maybe just take the time and let your leg heal up!

Back over at the Avengers, Cap and Wasp now justify to the others why Thor took off. Claiming that they sent him on a scouting mission. Captain Marvel objects that scouting is her specialty, what with the lightspeed dash, so Cap claims that brute force isn’t helping so its more important to have Captain Marvel’s versatility here.

Leading She-Hulk to snark that brute force not working doesn’t give her a lot to do.

Starfox has become instantly bored with the plot because he’s here for adventure dangit, so he wanders off to go flirt with an EMT.

Because Starfox.

A Quinjet arrives, because Wasp has put her true superpower to work.

The power of NETWORKING!

Aka, she placed a call to Vision and Scarlet Witch and they just showed up to help.

Wasp explains the situation and Vision decides he’s going to intangible through the field.

Vision: “Interesting. It does have an oddly unsettling ‘feel’ to it!”

Then he walks through and instantly collapses face first into the asphalt.

The Avengers’ bumbling attempts to deal with the null field are almost farcical really.

Scarlet Witch is alarmed by her robot husband faceplanting so tries to use her plot-resolving probability powers on the invisible barrier but to no avail.

OH NO HER DOES ANYTHING POWER DID NOTHING!

She bangs on the invisible wall yelling Vision’s name but Cap tells her “that won’t do any good!”

True but c’mon. Her robot husband just collapsed. Have some understanding.

Although I wonder what’s going on here.

The field goes over inanimate objects but doesn’t let Cap’s shield through. Mjolnir and Vision can go through it (although Vision does the intangible) but lose power shortly after entering.

Then again it is called a “null-field.” It probably does whatever it wants.

I’m just wondering whether Vision counts as an inanimate object or not. He’s very animate but he’s not strictly speaking biologically speaking alive.

Meanwhile, in the Baxter Building, Annihilus is laughing up a storm at the Avengers’ silly hijinxes. But mostly in the ‘they thought they could stop me’ sense.

Annihilus: “Lesser beings such as these are helpless before the genius of Annihilus! They do not deserve to live -- just as I do not deserve to die! I curse the fates which have robbed me of my rightful immortality! But even though life slowly ebbs from the dissipated body within my exo-skeletal armor, still shall I be Annihilus... still shall I be He-Who-Annihilates!”

And he pulls the Big Dramatic Lever.

Outside, Starfox is still flirting with the paramedic while she asks whether he should be helping the other Avengers?

Starfox: -squishes her face- “Alas, I am not a full Avenger. I am but a trainee, at the others’ beck and call! If they want me, they will call.”

And then he tries to make out but she’s distracted by the Baxter Building suddenly glowing with an awesome power.

And Starfox freaks out. He freaks out so much that he realizes that now is not the time for making out. That’s how alarming things suddenly are!

Paramedic: “Brighter than the moon... glowing like there’s no tomorrow...”

Starfox: “I fear your choice of words is most apt!”

And then he wanders back on over to the Avengers to tell them how messed up everything is.

Something occurs to me.

The Avengers don’t really have a Smart Guy TM currently. Tony left them in the lurch in that regard. And they tried to recruit Hulk again (apparently in Incredible Hulk #285).

Cap(tain America), Captain Marvel, Wasp, She-Hulk, and Thor are great. But they’re not people who can look at a thing and instantly jump to a correct conclusion about which technobabble will keep things from bad.

I think... Starfox may have become the Smart Guy TM of the team by default because he does have advanced space learning even though I’m pretty sure he napped through advanced space learning science class.

My god, the state of things.

Anyway, Starfox directs the Avengers’ attention over to the Baxter Building. Within the invisible field, there’s a second glowing field. And based on Starfox’s brains, the invisible field is a null-field (yes, that’s true) which cancels out all energy within, except at its focal point. Uh, sure. I think if all energy was cancelled out, we’d see way wilder effects but sure.

The glowing field is positive energy. And when the glow meets the invisible, it will cause the universe to merge with the Negative Zone AND THEN DESTROY THEM BOTH.

See, this is something that’s known on Titan. They just study ways to destroy everything apparently, nbd.

Starfox even mentions that his brother Thanos knows about this but “not even my brother Thanos was mad enough to test it!”

I dunno. I feel like Thanos is exactly mad enough to do that. I also feel like Starfox doesn’t know his brother was well as he thinks. So, yeah.

Hence, they’re all doomed. I mean, unless there was some way to penetrate the null-field BUT WAIT, Starfox says, didn’t Captain Marvel feel the field give slightly under gamma radiation? THEN THERE STILL MAY BE HOPE!

Yeah... Yeah. Starfox is the Avengers’ Smart Guy now. God.

Its like a reverse-Beast. He came to be a smart guy but the Avengers’ had plenty of those so decided to be the fun guy.

Starfox came out just to have a good time and he has to use his space brains to save reality.

(Also, its because of Same Face but Starfox even looks like Reed while he’s transitioning from doomsaying to figuring out the whole thing just by panicking and explaining things)

So after the Avengers do some calculations and preparations, Captain Marvel blasts off into space!

Cap(tain America) estimates that they only have twenty minutes and that a lot can go wrong.

Then a giant shouty bug man appears in the sky to shout.

Annihilus: “PEOPLE OF EARTH -- HEAR NOW THE WORDS OF ANNIHILUS! YOU ARE HELPLESS BEFORE ME! I AM YOUR DEATH!”

“The destruction of all that lives has ever been my goal -- but never have I had the means to kill so many! The time of universal death is at hand! I see among you those who are known as the Avengers... those who you would call heroes! Hah! They cannot save you! They are as helpless as the accursed Fantastic Four!”

“There is no hope for anyone this day! This is the day that Annihilus dies! And as I die, I shall reach out and I shall shake the very foundations of two universes! AND ALL SHALL PERISH WITH ME!”

Not gonna lie.

That’s a damn good villain speech.

You’ve got the villain head in front of an apocalyptic pink sky. You’ve got evil gloating. You’ve even got some dunks thrown at the superheroes because you just know that average civilians will be like ‘the Avengers will save us!’

Pretty good rant, Annihilus.

“Meanwhile, in the vacuum of space, the lightform of Captain Marvel has already flashed beyond the orbit of the moon”

Amazing.

Simply amazing.

Captain Marvel nyooms past the moon and traverses 93-million miles to go to the sun.

Which, even at lightspeed, takes over eight minutes.

A helpful reminder that even the ability to go as fast as light doesn’t necessarily mean you can get everywhere instantly. Cosmic distances are vast.

Captain Marvel nyooms around the sun, so close that even in the form of a light, she can feel the Sun’s gravity.

This is all some great stuff.

Then, Captain Marvel melds with a coherent light beam fired from solar satellite Starcore-One and transforms it and herself into a gamma ray laser beam NYOOMING right at Earth.

Blasting through the null-field just in time to interrupt more of Annihilus’ villain ranting.

Annihilus: “Prepare to make your final accounting, mortals! These are your last wretched moments of... eh?”

And then with a SKRAKATA SKRAKATA BOOM, the null field and positive energy fields are neutralized.

She-Hulk who was casually leaning on an invisible wall FLUMPS to the ground.

Wasp assembles the Avengers still milling about and tells them to move on the Baxter Building since Annihilus might still have tricks up his sleeve.

With the null field gone, the terrified crowds of onlookers are now just confused onlookers and want to get back to what they were doing before they started panicking.

Normal Doctor Donald Blake has to reach through the crowd of legs to grab Mjolnir so he can become Thor and rejoin the Avengers.

Y’know, before someone starts pondering why they haven’t seen him in a while.

Scarlet Witch notices sudden Thor and since everyone else ran off without paying any mind to Vision (geez, what the hell, the Avengers? He’s your good pal chum!) she begs Thor to help.

Scarlet Witch: “Thank heavens, you’ve returned! The Vision was injured somehow by that null-field! I... I can’t find any vital signs! His synthetic body is too different for the paramedics to do anything! Help us! Please -- !”

Thor slings Vision over shoulder exactly like you’d expect a buff Norse god to do and reassures Wanda that they’ll find someone to revive Vision.

At the Baxter Building, the Avengers very courteously go in through the front door because there’s just a lot of defensive systems that may or may not be active. And anyway, Wasp has a key to the special elevator.

Apparently, Wasp is such good friends with Sue Storm that she was given one of those special lasers incorporated into her new costume that opens the elevator doors.

I’ll have to check with my friend who liveblogs Fantastic Four to see if Jan shows up much. Because Sue has shown up a couple times in Avengers to build the idea that she and Wasp are good friends after their cool brunch but I haven’t heard of the reverse.

When the Avengers get to the 34th floor to confront Annihilus, they find that it’s been taken care of off in Fantastic Four.

The caption tells me for the full story to see that issue #256 and for once, I will.

(Interestingly, while Byrne got a co-plotter credit on this Avengers issue, Stern doesn’t get the same in the corresponding FF issue which really suggests who the driving force of the story was.)

Over in FF #256, the FF are stranded in the Negative Zone for reasons but have also noticed the null-field and positive field thing going on. Reed works to limit the effects of the fields merging to only the Baxter Building instead of the whole universe, which will also help the FF return home. He also hopes that someone on the Earth side of things “an Avenger perhaps” is also taking action.

Which, yeah. Captain Marvel’s whole thing where she launched herself at the Baxter Building from the Sun.

While she’s doing that, the thing that Reed is doing starts shorting out the circuity that Annihilus is using.

Then, Captain Marvel’s appearance causes the console Annihilus is working at to explode in his face, destroying his life-support armor.

Annihilus tries to activate the ‘destroy the universe’ thing manually but because of Reed’s machinations, the Fantastic Four get pulled back into the universe and Annihilus gets booted into the Negative Zone.

Its implied that Annihilus dies here but ha ha ha no he’s going to show up again without explaining how he survived. What a dick.

The Fantastic Four pop back into the Baxter building with the colors in their outfits changed because of technobabble. Reed instantly accosts Captain Marvel for being someone he doesn’t recognize but Thing tells him who she is and defuses things.

Thing runs off to take Alicia to the hospital, Sue runs off to look for Franklin, and Reed and Human Torch put out all the fires.

And that’s where the books sync up so back over to Avengers.

The Avengers meet up with the FF and compare notes and Reed starts trying to technobabble explain the change in uniforms when Wanda interrupts and asks someone to help Vision.

Reed examines Vision and comes up with some good news.

Vision is, more or less, okay. When he entered the null-field it drained his energy and disrupted his synapses but there shouldn’t be any permanent damage. The robot coma is Vision basically fixing himself up but Reed could speed up the process and help him recover faster.

And then Sue comes in with an unconscious Franklin.

Everyone drops everything to immediately rush off to the hospital, leaving Wanda and coma-Vision alone.

I mean. Kinda rude. Its entirely fair for Reed and Sue to run off. Its their son. And Johnny flies ahead to alert the emergency ward. But does the situation really need Starfox, Captain America and She-Hulk?

(The FF issue actually shows that Captain Marvel stuck around. She barely knows Wanda and Vision and she’s actually being courteous to them. Geez.)

I’ll give Thor a pass because he can turn into a Perfectly Normal Doctor. But really? Everyone is just leaving Wanda alone? Just like they left Vision just passed out in the street?

The Avengers are being dicks to Vision and Wanda today!

Follow @essential-avengers​ and like and reblog perhaps. Because I wouldn’t leave Vision lying passed out in the street and I haven’t even been his friend for years. Just saying.

[luulapants]

Funny & Wrong

I got into an argument with a friend yesterday. She said she wished Trump could have his Twitter account back because it was “funny.” It’s got me thinking about what we allow in the name of humor.

As someone on the autism spectrum, I sometimes feel like I learned to be funny in the way that dogs learn to walk on their hind legs: it’s a neat trick, but it’s definitely not a natural behavior. When I was a kid, I sometimes made people laugh and didn’t understand why. People always seemed to be nicer and happier when people made them laugh. I wanted to understand. I wanted to be funny. So it became a lifetime obsession for me. I studied humor. I got pretty good at it, too. I won several awards for humorous writing and performances in high school, then went on to perform with a few improv and sketch comedy troupes in college. I use humor in my writing and musical performances now, and I guess I have a bit of a reputation for it.

All of that is to say, I feel I have a uniquely objective perspective on what makes something funny. And I think this is an important point that a lot of people miss: It’s possible for something to be funny and wrong at the same time.

Humor, at its most basic, is a subversion of expectations. The classic format is a set-up that builds a common expectation, then a punchline that flips that expectation on its head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? (We expect to receive new information about a situation we think we know nothing about) To get to the other side! (We are told something we already knew but didn’t realize we knew because it’s self-evident)

And all sorts of things subvert expectations, setting off our internal humor detectors. Slapstick humor or physical comedy is effective because we have set expectations for how people move and interact with their environments. Slipping on a banana peel subverts your expectation of how someone walks across a room. The Three Stooges bonking each other on the head subverts your expectation of how people treat one another in normal society.

So now take a personal example:

Horror movies don’t really scare me. Fear isn’t a big emotion for me, and there honestly isn’t much that sets it off for me. I dated someone who watched horror movies with her friends often, and I would just sit there and watch and not really get it. Then one day they put on Piranha. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a notoriously bad B-movie horror film. My ex and her friends weren’t even expecting to be scared of it, and they definitely weren’t expecting me to be scared of it.

What they didn’t know is that I am supremely freaked out by fish. It’s my one thing. I fucking hate fish. I didn’t even expect how badly that movie was going to scare me, but I was literally hiding my head under a pillow at one point during the movie. I might have cried. My ex and her friends were all laughing hysterically at me.

I didn’t think that much of it at the time, but in retrospect, it was really shitty. Objectively, I understand the humor. For me to be so scared of a movie - and that movie in particular - was a subversion of everyone’s expectations. It was funny. But they also should have turned the fucking movie off.

It was funny. It was also wrong.

A lot of Trump’s presidency was a subversion of our expectations - our expectations of how a president should behave. There’s a news clip going around about how he had a button on the oval office desk that told his staff to bring him a can of Diet Coke. That’s hilarious! A lot of his Tweets were funny. The picture of him hugging the flag was funny.

But the things he did were also deeply, deeply wrong.

I think it’s important to understand that things can be both. If you don’t acknowledge our ability to feel amused by things that are wrong, there are a whole host of other points that you won’t understand.

Just because you find something funny, that doesn’t make it good or right.

Just because you think something is wrong, that doesn’t mean it’s not funny.

When someone laughs at your behavior, that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t going to take it seriously.

When someone else’s behavior makes you laugh, especially if it’s not intentional, that doesn’t mean the behavior isn’t serious.

Someone can laugh at something without agreeing with or approving of it.

Something can make you laugh and still be dangerous or harmful enough that it should not be shared, promoted, or otherwise endorsed.

[regrettablewritings]

How They Spend the Quarantine (Tadashi Hamada, Lucifer Morningstar, Dewey Finn, Wade Wilson, Harley Quinn, & Benoit Blanc)

Just a fun (?? is that even responsible to say?) little thing I’ve been thinking about while slogging through this neverending hellscape of an extended lockdown.

Tadashi Hamada

When San Fransokyo was ordered to go into a lockdown, there were mixed feelings.

At first, Tadashi had a hint of optimism that this would mean more time to work on his prospective projects . . . But then he quickly realized that his projects mostly required tools and space offered by the campus. He could technically make do at home, but it wouldn’t quite be the same considering the garage was considered Hiro’s space.

Somberly had to clean out his lab and take whatever he could home.

Cue the rest of the group (sans Fred and Hiro) griping that at least his style of science could travel well enough to be somewhat continued off of university grounds.

Helps do delivery for The Lucky Cat. It helps him get out the house, and it’s simply helpful altogether.

Uses Baymax frequently to make sure everyone down to Mochi is sanitized, and nobody’s running a fever.

Nearly as frequent a sanitizer as Aunt Cass.

He starts most days prepared to be productive, only to stop and poke fun at Hiro, who’s almost always got his eyes trained on a video game.

Tadashi realizes three hours later that he, too, has been playing the game as Player 2.

Learned how to make facial masks with Aunt Cass. He already knew how to sew a little but frankly, making the masks made him realize he could have a new hobby on his hands. He’s currently trying to figure out how to make Mochi a little vest . . .

Lucifer Morningstar

B o r e d. A s. F u c k.

At first, he thinks everyone being forced to go home would work in his favor -- surely some rule-breakers would sneak out and try to bunk up with the Devil, right?

Well . . . Kinda? Once Chloe found out and scolded him about it, the idea died real fast. Plus, he realized he wasn’t quite fond of the possibility of being around someone who could pop up with a disgusting human sickness at any point during their time with him. Smearing their snot all over, coughing into his Egyptian cotton sheets . . . Nope, never mind, he is perfectly content having the penthouse to himself, thank you very much!

Except he’s not.

The poor bastard is going crazy by himself -- he’s just not used to being without some kind of company!

“At least in Hell, you could tell there were people around you based on the screaming!” he’d whine at his phone during his hourly video chat with Chloe.

Oh yes: The video chats. He tries to make them hourly with anyone he can get a hold of (namely, his long-suffering detective) but this clearly never plays out as he would like for it to: If he had it his way, everyone would respond in an instant and let him bounce mainly one-sided conversations off of them -- basically, what he did before all this went down.

What usually winds up happening is he gets hung up on or nobody answers him at all out of sheer annoyance over his clinginess.

Ironically, he’s not exactly crazy about when Amenadiel initiates those “family calls”. He insists it’s healthy and normal for them to do this and even calls Luci out on the hypocrisy, but let’s face it: Lucifer finds it obnoxiously gushy and weird.

He works his way into Linda’s video appointment books to help him cope with his boredom and admitted need for interactions. She doesn’t mind offering him counsel, but once Lucifer starts attempting to butt in during others’ appointment calls, it becomes an issue.

Has, at some point, gotten buzzed down in Lux and streamed himself attempting to pole dance. It drew quite a bit of attention.

He’s managed to gain a bit of a following and some companionship by streaming himself playing piano and singing. It’s not the same thing as having an actual audience, in his opinion, but it will have to do for now.

He’s never been one to binge with regards to TV shows or movies, but after the first week, he decided to binge watch every work action star Wesley Cabot was ever in.

Makes sure his staff still gets paid well. After all, he’s pretty well-off; there’s no need to make an innocent bartender’s life a living hell just because some other rich bastard fucked up, yeah?

Going off this, should he need to order to-go or anything, we already know he tends to tip as handsomely as he looks.

Dewey Finn

Kids were being sent to Horace Green on tuitions worth more than what some people saw in half a year -- of course the school was going to continue classes online!

While technically an afterschool instructor, the program is popular enough for parents to expect it to continue, and for Dewey to be kept on payroll.

Initially, he was pretty smug: He’s one if, if not, the youngest teacher-figure at Horace Green, so surely that means he’s more tech savvy than his older, stiffer coworkers, right? For once, he’s ahead of the curve!

Wrong: Figuring out Zoom was a headache, and then there was the realization of just how dependent his classes were on actual physical presence.

Plus, let’s be real: Dewey’s Internet connection was decent on its own, but craptastic when compared to those of his wealthier students. The lag is strong with this one.

Has definitely accidentally messed up the background on his screen. Somehow wound up with the Beetlejuice background and got so frustrated, he wound up keeping it there for two whole sessions.

In spite of the slight issues regarding lag, they pull through and try to resume lessons as best they can.

Tries to keep optimism by pointing out how this is a new form of entertainment they could be pioneers in.

Some days, it’s just going so wack or everyone’s so bleh that Dewey just assigns for them to watch a music documentary or something.

“Okay, kids, Mr. Finn’s hungover and clearly Summer is the only one who went to bed before 3am. So what I’m gonna have you do is watch . . . Prrrbbbb . . . Amadeus.” “How is Amadeus rock-related?” “It had a rock single, shut up. Anyway, we meet back next class and talk about what we saw, m’kay? M’kay. Over and out.”

Next class, he’s filled with dread as Summer produces an in-depth analysis of the relationship or lack thereof between character and the presence of talent as evidenced by Mozart’s abilities juxtaposed with his immature presentation and -- Dewey just can’t keep up. Sure, Summer, why not?

When he’s not busy teaching, however, he’s using the lockdown to work on some new material. Or just screwing around.

Otherwise, let’s be real, Big Boy’s living the high life in a place of his own: Playing video games (Animal Crossing, recently got back into Team Fortress 2, is trying to finally finish Ocarina of Time); eating a not very great diet; staying up late, napping at weird times; all in the name of quarantine.

If he orders delivery or to-go, he tips the best he can.

Wade Wilson

On one hand, murking never goes on lockdown. But on the other . . . He’s already technically not well, why risk that even with his mutation?

Oh, fuck I just remembered he lives at the X Mansion, never mind turn back turn back oh god give us free --

The situation is tense to say the least. There’s Wade, who’s sensible enough to know why the quarantine is in place . . . and then there’s everyone else, who knows Wade’s full of shit.

And by everyone, I “coincidentally” mean Colossus, Nega Sonic, Yukio, Domino, Cable, and Russ because the already small world of the sequel just got smaller by the fact that everyone is bound to a large but nonetheless single estate whose size has probably decreased from that of the First Class timeline.

You know those videos of the usual Quarantine Characters? Wade is somehow yet still unsurprisingly all of them, save for the frequent sanitizer. He raids the pantry frequently, sleeps at all hours, considers scooting a swivel chair down the halls exercise for the thighs, blasts video games, and so on.

Going back to the sanitizer thing, it’s not that he’s just not exactly known for being tidy. Colossus occasionally does drag him out of bed at a decidedly decent time (read: any time before 11am) to try and get him excited about cleaning up around the mansion, but it rarely ends well. At this point, the safest option is to just remind Wade to wash his hands for 20 seconds as necessary.

Has acquired a Switch and visits everyone’s island, often to bonk them on the head with a net or gift them with weird crap they don’t necessarily want. For the “friends” from Sister Margaret’s, he has somehow acquired their Dodo Codes. Nobody knows how he did this. 

Facetimes Dopinder frequently.

“Precious, you’re the beacon of light in this cold, cruel world.” “I miss you, too, DP --” “Sshshsh! I’m having a moment . . .” *weeps*

On the many occasions he orders delivery, he tips by giving the delivery person something expensive from the mansion that they can sell. Prof. X is loaded, after all. Plus, he more or less isn’t even present in this universe, it’s not like he’s gonna miss anything he can’t see/probably doesn’t even know exists in his house. The problem is, Colossus does exist and does notice and does care when things go missing. Leading to many a delivery person getting caught up in shenanigans at that weird school in the boonies that they either don’t get paid enough to deal with or couldn’t pay to make up.

“Oh, pawn shops are closed?” asks the man who looks like a skinned avocado if avocados had human skin. “Don’t worry, lemme hook you up -- I know some guys --” “DEADPOOOOOLLL!!” roars a Russian accent from inside the house. “WHERE IS THE BRONZE BUST OF THE PROFESSOR!?” The poor delivery person’s eyes widen as they realize that the odd cargo they’ve been presented with apparently holds some value of some kind. But before they can flee, the avocado man blurts, “Shit! Leave the pizza in the bushes, look me up on my Youtube page, byyyeeee!!”

In his defense, Wade does hold up his end of the deal. Much like the Dodo Codes, nobody knows what strings he pulled. They just accept it and move on.

Harley Quinn

Surprisingly compliant.

She’s crazy, not stupid: Staying at home may suck, but what sucks more is making things harder on people who may not fair so well. Besides, she’s spent time in a maximum security prison -- she can handle staying cooped up in her own home. At least home has TV, books, and snacks.

When she hears people are still going out without masks or plotting to have a protest, she strongly considers firing up the old Fun Gun and popping the next sign-carrying Karen she sees with a tit full of cadmium yellow powder.

Seriously, stay the fuck home and fuck up your own hair; this is the perfect time to make mistakes with your looks, it ain’t like you got anywhere to be or anyone to impress.

“STAY THE FUCK HOME, BITCH!” P O W!!! “JUST GO GREY ALREADY, WE ALL KNOW YOUR HAIR AIN’T THAT COLOR ANYMORE, YOU’RE THREE YEARS FROM BEING IN THE GODDAMN AGE-BRACKET!!!” P O W!!!!

Only leaves her new apartment to grab groceries and to take Bruce on a walk. She actually refuses to steal or cause a scene during this shitshow because she may be a bad guy, but she sure ain’t evil.

So far, there haven’t been complaints about the fact that she’s walking a hyena down a public street. Maybe it’s because there’s hardly anyone out? Maybe it’s because Gothamites just can’t be bothered to be fazed by it . . . Or maybe it’s because she made him a little mask for his snout.

“In this house, we wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, kid.”

Lets the forest reclaim the earth, so to speak. She was never really shaving anything for anyone but herself before, but now it just seems especially pointless.

Spends almost every day in a kigurumi. To give her a semblance of routine, she has a pink bear one she calls her “Sunday Suit.” She doesn’t know it’s not Sunday because the days just blur but Cass just doesn’t have the heart to tell her; she seemed so proud of herself . . .

Like everyone else, she’s gotten Animal Crossing. She’s trying to create an all-preppy island with a few exceptions (Astrid = Aesthetic, m’kay?)

Tips nicely when ordering delivery.

Benoit Blanc

As young and spry in nature as the gentleman sleuth would like to think of himself, he would really rather not test the dangers of the situation and go about all foolhardy -- he’s staying home!

In theory, it’s only logical and therefore perfectly fine. But in practice . . . God, he wishes he’d invested more in things to occupy himself with when home.

It wasn’t that Benoit was never home, he just never felt too much of a need to invest in a fancy entertainment center -- the fanciest he ever got was an iHome.

The beginning of the quarantine served as the perfect time for him to read over case files, catch up on paperwork, even catch up on some reading he’d been putting on hold since God knows when due to cases popping up left and right. But that dried up quicker than he’d assumed, and that’s when he was faced with what a man of his mind dreads the most: Boredom.

Finally caved and decided to hook up Amazon Fire.

Expected to use the one-month free trial on Netflix and be just fine but once the lockdown in his area got extended and he realized he wasn’t going to be able to catch up with Crazy Ex-Girlfriend at this rate, he caves even further and buys a subscription.

Fully delights at the influx of platforms uploading Broadway recordings; when The Show Must Go On put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, followed by The Phantom of The Opera, it was a treat, I tell you!

Sanitizes often, despite hardly ever leaving his house besides to have a smoke or to go grab groceries. Honestly, it’s less about cleaning at this point so much as it is finding something to occupy his focus when he feels there’s nothing else to so.

Takes zinc after every meal to help lessen the intensity of any ailment that might hit him.

Definitely owns a facemask. There’s a good chance it’s from Marta or one of his relatives, and there’s another good chance the pattern is as flamboyant as his clothing. He’s delighted.

Benoit tries not to rely too much on delivery,  as he’d much rather just cook. On the rare occasion where tipping comes up, however, he gives as generously as he can.

Bonus: There’s a slight chance he might have acquired a companion to foster early on in the quarantine. Benoit hadn’t had a pet since childhood, a crime of which he was admittedly melancholic of his own involvement. However, his surprisingly busy lifestyle just wouldn’t suit a four-legged friend, now could it?

Well, now there’s time to. Besides, it would certainly ease the potential feeling of loneliness to have someone or something with whom he could interact with.

Admittedly, when shelters began encouraging people to invest time in taking home a companion, he’d been looking more for a comrade on the canine side of the spectrum -- but darn, if Duke wasn’t a handsome cat.

A lovely grey-and-white cat with eyes that matched his own, Duke has become the one Benoit monologues to (because in all honesty, the man is a performer at heart, in need of an audience to speak his mind to and portray a thought before). Plus, he doesn’t appear to mind it when Benoit finds himself belting out in tone-deaf notes to showtunes while washing the dishes: The mark of a true companion.

At this rate, he’s probably not going to keep fostering Duke when things calm down -- he’s probably going to just straight up adopt him.

Stay safe & healthy!

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THE AVENGERS

“the tesseract has awakened” oh you mean the glowy cube from captain america AND captain marvel? THAT glowly cube?? cool looking stairs- ew who tf are you? the grim reaper??

what the fuck is a chitauri and why does it sound like sea food. “a world will be his. the universe, yours.” STOP BLAMING THE PRONOUN GAME AND GIVE ME NAMES FFS

ooo shield base. “not a drill.” oh shits going down- COULSON. FUURRRYYY FUCK YEAH. the best marvel characters are here the movie has peaked- oldman from thor is here?? intoresting. and who the hell is this woman tryna question fury??

the glowy cube is a shE???????? HUH??????? oh hey its hawkeye the badass archer guy. oh shit things are going down. the cube is sparking and swirling??- IT OPENED A PORTAL

LOKKIII YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD WELCOME BACK. HE HAS A SHOOTY MAGIC SPEAR LIKE A BADASS. he just took out a bunch or shield with a shooty spe- OHMYGODS HE CAN CONTROL MINDS WITH IT.

“loki. brother of thor.” OLDMAN STFU

GUNS GO PEW PEW ALONG SIDE A GOOD OLD CAR CHASE SKSHSKKSHS. RUN FURY RUNNN. the portal imploded on itself like a moron hA

WHO TF NAMES THEIR CHILD “HILL” WTF. “we are at war.” NO SHIT SHERLOCK A NORSE GOD STOLE THE CUBE YOU WERE SUPPOST TO PROTECT

tis a train and a old building- NATASHA. how tf were you taken hostage? im so glad i have subtitles on otherwise i wouldnt understand a thing these ppl are saying. HOW TF IS SHE KICKING ASS WHILE TIED TO A CHAIR WHAT IN THE HELL-

oh his leg deff broke once he fell off the ledge tied to a chain. cut to a lil gorl running to find a doctor- who tf this is of course. THIS GUY IS BANNER??? i mean im glad they changed the actor but wtf. “theres no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.” YA DONT SAY, ROMANOFF. “STOP LYING TO ME” JESUS FUCK THAT MADE ME JUMP

oh damn shield has their own O5 council? cool. EXPLAIN WHAT PHASE2 IS ALREADY. also dont say thor is bad he is a giant puppy dog with a war-boner.

oh hi steve, working off that PTSD by beating the shit out of a punching bag ay? oh right steve knows the glowy cube. “at this point i doubt anything would surprise me.” “ten bucks says you’re wrong” welp ya owe him ten bucks steve

“is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract to help us now?” “you should’ve left it in the ocean.” WELL THAT HELPS ALOT DOESNT IT. hello there iron man, at the bottom of the ocean.? sure why the hell not

aye stark tower’s about to have clean energy, yay stark! “stark tower, is your baby.” how do you give birth to a tower.???????? KSHSJSHSKSJS COULSON BROKE INTO THE TOWER “is first name is agent.” TONY SKSHKSSHKSVSKSHSKS

*whisper whisper whisper* yeah she bribed tony with sex so he’d work on the avengers and stuff. “the guys like a stephen hawking.” “. . .” “hes like a smart person”

awh coulson is fangirling over steve- watched you while you were sleepin- man you’re awkward. you adorable dumbass. ohshit underground musky lab- OLDMAN AND LOKI

the world is breaking around loki. sea food army is restless- shut the fuck up you stupid looking eye wrapped bastard. WHO THE HELL IS THIS HE?????? welcome back to earth you smexy man

FLOATING WATER BASE

back to avenger tingz. man coulson is the biggest cap fan- oh its a giant sub- NO ITS A GIANT FLYING BASE HOLYSHIT SHIELD THATS AMAZING.

now we go into the meetings and talking related stuff :I yey. “lets vanish” wdym- IT HAD A CLOAKING DEVICE. HA STEVE JUST GAVE THE TEN HE OWED SKSHSKHSKSJS

i dont understand a word of all the science stuff they just said but yay. “i need a distraction. and an eyeball” barton what the fuck why do you need an eye.?

oh lokis in germany, at a very fancy party might i add. loki is best boy ever. even if he just bonked a the head/ OHMYGOD AND STOLE HIS FUCKING EYE JESUS CHRIST INFRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE.??????

“i said. KNEEEEL” dont need to tell me twice-

blagh villain speeches are the worst. why tf did this old guy stand up “not to men like you.” shut up. SHOOT HIM- wtf. steve what the hell are you wearing? what the fuck is that- aye tonnnyyy!!!! he hacked into the jet thingy and started playing music from the speaker thats the best.

CAPSICLE SKSHSKSHKSHSKSJ- ohfuck thunder. THOR WELCOME TO THE PARTY. “im not overly fond of what follows” WKVSKSBSKSHSJS

HE JUST BROKE INTO THE JET AND STOLE LOKI FROM EM. “theres only one god ma’am. and im sure he doesnt dress like that.” cap stfu

“i thought you were dead.” “did you mourn.” damn loki thats harsh. thor is angy at his brother. “you listen well brot-ARGH” “..im listening?” STARK YOU CHOSE THAT MOMENT TO BODY SLAM THOR OFF THAT CLIFF AND LEAVE LOKI BEHIND? REALLY?

“.. tourist.” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT KICK HIS ASS, THOR. DONT KILL HIM WITH LIGHTNING THO

if someone throwed me against a tree i wouldnt be walking. im just saying

“THATS ENOUGH.” cap did you think that would work?? and how the hell did your dinner plate stop the power of thor

loki do be in jail tho. how’s this gonna go wrong- oh he smiled at banner. THATS how it goes wrong

tell him off fury! “you have made me very disapoin-“ OH NVM HE SAYS DESPERATE IGNORE THIS

“uNlimiteD pOoWeRRRRR”

“let me know if real power wants a magazine or something.” good comeback fury. i think

“loki is beyond reason, but he is of asgard. and he is my brother” “he killed 80 people in two days.” “he’s adopted.” KSBSKSJSJSJSK

“that man is playing galaga. he thought we wouldnt notice, but we did.” TONYKANSKSHKSJSKSJ tony is a fucking legend. “finally someone who speaks english!” “is that what just happened?” steve stfu you’re a fighty man not a smart man

“i do! . . . i understood that reference.” steve nvm keep talking please. PLEASE THE MAN IS STILL PLAYING GALAGA SOSJSKSJSJKS

why is tony eating blueberrys- where the hell did he get blueberrys. “we have orders. we should start following them.” steve you tried to get into the army under fake locations for months AND broke into a german base when you were a showpony. stfu about following rules

“so you’re saying the hulk.. the other guy? saved me” yes. yes we are saying that, banner. aye steve go break into shit like you’re suppost to :D

oh hi again oldman, welcome back. yay shield saved padme, and awh oldman talked about thor alot. thor i love you alot. loki just tell nat where tf you left barton :/ oh barton was sent to KILL nat?? not hire her?? well that went downhill. whomst the hell is dreykov- sao paulo- the hospital fire???? hawkeye wtf why’d you spill it all to loki.

mewley quim wtf kind of insult is that- oh damn nat figured out the hulk is lokis next plan of attack. PHASE TWO IS TO USE THE GLOWY CUBE TO MAKE FUCKING WEAPONS? SHIELD WHAT THE HELL

HA FURY TRIED TO LIE IS WAY OUTTA IT BUT BC STARK HACKED INTO IT ALL HE JUST EXPOSED HIMSKHSKSJSKS

WAIT THEY WERE MADE FOR THOR AND ASGARDIANS? WHAT THE FUCK SHIELD- oh damn lokis staff is the reason they’re all at eachother. probably

“yeah. big man in a suit of armor. take that off what are you?.” “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.” well you’re not wrong

guys stop fighting, HAWKEYE IS BREAKING IN. “in case you needed to kill me. but you cant. i know, i tried.” awh thats sad, i wanna hug banner so bad :(

OHSHIT AN ENTIRE WING GOT BLOWN UP THE FLYING BASE IS GOING DOWN- HULKS COMING OUT THATS NOT GOOD. the transforming is scary- RUN NAT

loki stop smiling because the plan is going your way. “it seems to run on some form of electricity.” “well you’re not wrong” tony stop being funny this isnt fair

HULK JUMPSCARE JESUS CHRIST- NAT GOT BITCHSLAPPED THROUGH A WALL- YAY THOR TO SAVE THE DAY. HAMMER TIME BABYY

*B O N K*

hulk trying to pick the hammer up is funny. BRIDGE IS UNDER ATTACK. DO YOU THINK SHOOTING HULK IS A GOOD IDEA??? HE JUST TOOK OUT FIGHTER JET AND ALMOST KILLED THE GUY FLYING IT

CAP IS KICKING ASS- OH GOD NO THE ENGINES ARE FAILING. OHGOD LOKI IS OUT- THOR YOU DUMBFUCK DID YOU FORGET LOKI CAN DO MAGIC SHIT? NOW YOU’RE STUCK IN THE GLASS CONTAINER

COULSON SAVE THOR! SHOOT LOKI DAMNIT- COULSON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

glass cage go brrrrr

HA LOKI GOT FUCKIN SHOT BY COULSON BEFORE HE DIES( :( ) tony almost got minced by the engine thingys

im gonna cry coulson how dare your death make me sad :(( stupid heart breaking aftermath moments.

thor is stuck in a field, banner fell through the roof of a building. awh the security guard is so nice :) barton is a fucking mess right now “how’d you get him out?” “i hit you on the head really hard.” KSJSKKSSK

tony figured out lokis plan- ITS TAKING PLACE AT HIS TOWER? THE AVENGERS IS TAKING ACTION BABY LETS GOOOO

wait a fucking moment, the cards coulson has are covered in blood. so you’d think they were on him when he was stabbed- yet hill just said they were in his locker “they needed the push.” FURY YOU RUINED NEAR MINT VINTAGE COLLECTABLE CARDS TO MOTIVATE SUPER FREAKS???

o hi loki welcome to stark tower

“stalling wont change-“ “no no, threatening. no drink? ya sure? im having one.”

“i have an army.” “we have a hulk.” HE SAID IT, HE SAID THE LINE

HA LOKI CANT TAKE STARKS MIND BC HIS HEART IS SOME TECHY METAL CRAPKSJSKSJSKS- i guess choking and tossing him around works. so does throwing hik out a window

oh no the glowy cube just opened a portal for the army of seafood. they look like creatures from halo.

BROTHER FIGHT

CHAOS EVERYWHERE

PLANE DOWN PLANE DOWN

what the fuck just growled- HOLYSHIT THEY HAVE A SPACE LEVIATHAN. it looks badass ngl. loki redemption arc? nope he just stabbed thor.

SPACE BIKE GO BRRRRR

yes because arrows and guns will stop the, alien monsters with lazer arms. some how its working. “just like budapest all over again.” “you and i remember budapest very differently.” WTF HAPPENED AT BUDAPEST BARTON AND NAt, HUH?

cap just scared the shit outta some police men HAHA

“i have unfinished business with loki.” “yeah? get in line” barton is snarky right now. banner just rides up on a motercycle like “hi what i’d miss”

“im bringing the party to you.” stark says while being chased by a giant metal space whale who’s crashing and crushing everything in its path along a street

“thats my secret cap. im always angry.” FUCK YEAH BANNER MESS THAT SPACE WHALE UP. HE JUST PUNCHED A GIANT FUCKING WHALE THING.

the music, the avengers circling around. its amazing. well things are gonna get worse bc more space whales showed up

“and hulk. . . smash.”

LIGHT THEM FUCKERS UP, THOR. shield maybe instead of watching, maybe, oh i dont know. HELP THEM???

i dont know what else to say other then its alot of fighting and smashing alien faces into the ground

hulk and thor kicking ass on the back of a space whale is awesome. HULK WHY DID YOU PUNCH HIMSJSOSHSKJSKSJSKSKSKSK

i fuxking love when steve turtle shells behind his shield.

“director fury. the council has made a decision.” “i recognize the council has made a decision. but given its a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it.” fury never stop being awesome

loki thought he was so smug when he caught bartons arrow, then it blew up in his face. literally IKSKSKSKSKS

HULK FUCK LOKI UP! JSHSKSGKSHSJSHSJSJ HE JUST TOSSED LOKI AROUND LIKE A RAGDOLL “puny god.” “*pained wheezing from a smooshed loki*”

oh damn- OH DAMN, STARK. he just jonahed the fucking whale thing and blew it up from the inside. well now the city has a nuke coming for it :/

yall have a chance to shut the portal down, and tony, you want to go INTO that portal and throw the nuke in? wtf stark.

TONY GO BACK TO EARTH DAMNIT FUCKING BASTARD PASSED OUT. yay hulk saved his stupid ass. do cpr.? mayb.? or a hulk roar will wake him up KEJSKJSKSSKJS

tony. you just blew up a alien command center with a nuke, passed out and fell to earth through a portal. and you want, shawarma?

and now back to loki. “if its all the same to you, i’d like that drink now.” ISHSKSJSJSJSKSJSJ

STAN LEEE

the people love em. yey

council lady stfu about the avengers being a threat. they just said the earth and you’re worried about them going rouge??

“if we get into a situation like this again, what happens then?” “they’ll come back.” i mean theres three more avenger movies so i assume so. remodaling stark towers so its the avenger tower? neat!

NEXT MOVIE: IRON MAN 3

*MID CREDIT SCENE* oh hi again mr no eyes. do we get to see this HE? OH WE DO. o hi mr 10 chins

once again ignore the misspells it was three AM when i finally finished this and im just now rereading it

[funkypoacher]

The Perfect Cup of Tea

some Handers fluff I finally decided to post after ... a year... of ignoring it. tagging @fandomn00blr for fluffy, sniffly, Cat Husband reasons :)

With long faces (and even longer hair), Hawke and Anders rolled into town.

Sore eyes, strained bodies: as the journey from Weisshaupt to Kirkwall entered its final days, the village was a sight for both. It’d been months since the couple, traveling exclusively by foot, had felt secure enough in their anonymity to pop into one of the hamlets they passed, but something about this place—off the beaten path; rising from the forest like a fairytale—had its allure.

It may have been pure exhaustion. It may have been cresting anticipation of impending home. Either way, the bedraggled duo dove in.

Hawke, a woman who, according to reputation, would rather be flayed than found describing anything as ‘cute’, said honestly, in a voice raw from exhaustion, “it’s cute.”

“It is cute,” Anders agreed, scratching his chin through an excessive beard. “Not a lot of industry, but I suppose they don’t need it—not this close to the highway, anyway. Must get loads of visitors.”

Inspecting a large sign around which allium was planted, Hawke read aloud, “Longerswold.” She stared, as though it held a secret.

Leaning on his staff-cum-walking stick, Anders led the way. To and fro they turned their heads, padding down an unpaved street which was lined by little houses hidden behind healthy gardens.

“Has a nice Anderfels flavor to it,” the man remarked of the name.

“And as long as it doesn’t actually taste like the Anderfels, that’s fine,” Hawke answered, allowing her slighted stomach to take charge of her mood. “If I have to eat rouladen again any time soon, I’m going to… Well, I’m just not going to eat, I guess.”

“That’s my heritage you’re insulting!” But, after a beat, Anders wrinkled his nose. “I’m pretty sick of it, too.”

The air smelled sweet with flowers and lush grass; passing people smiled, inspiring confidence in the two disheveled strangers. Clearing her throat, Hawke nervously asked of someone “is there an inn here?”, and, about to enter their front door, the local turned around, approaching cheerfully.

“Sure is! Ivah’s Inn.” Beefy hands shoved in his large pockets, the man nodded down the way, drowning in the brim of his floppy, felt hat. “A few rooms on the second level. Ivah serves dinner ‘round seven. Might be you’re a bit early.”

“That’s alright!” Anders replied brightly, looking between the man and Hawke, his face lit by a polite smile. “Charming place like this, I’m sure we’ll find a way to pass the time.”

The man looked Anders straight in the eye, a most deadly-serious expression squinting his small, brown peepers. “Now you head on to Ivah’s straight-way, friend. You ask for the perfect cup of tea. Not a cup of tea, mind. The perfect cup. You won’t regret it.”

With that, the man went back up his walk way, whistling all the way into his house.

“What a friendly man,” Anders commented, beginning to drag his bones along.

“Yeah.” Hawke frowned. “Too friendly.”

But it was impossible for his pessimistic sweetheart to rain on his parade. As they stepped into Ivah’s thatched roof cottage, two kittens, overseen by their lounging mother, were playing in a stream of sunshine, their soft joyful squeals ringing through the room.

“I’ve died and gone to the Maker’s side,” Anders gushed, crouching down and watching with rapturous delight.

A voice called, “you needing rooms?”

Leaving Anders to bask, Ann strolled towards a worn counter overlooking a small dining area. There were tiny round tables with lace doilies, colourful carved nick-nacks covering almost every wall, and what room was left was filled with plush, potted plants kept fat and happy by the multitude of windows looking out into the backyard.

Distracted by this new view, Hawke’s mouth fell ajar as she looked passed the spotted glass into a yard of chaos and beauty. Not one for the leafier side of life (she’d never been a gardener), nonetheless she noticed that not one bundle of flowers matched another. Dozens—hundreds—of blooms were planted here, some of them still vaguely familiar, and others utterly exotic, but all of them different.

“Dearie?”

Ann’s trance was broken was a going-grey matron at her side, shorter than even she, wearing a dress of colourful patchwork tied at the waist with a tasseled rope.

“Yes!” Ann gasped, startled. “Needing rooms—yes.”

“That one yours?” The woman, presumably the looked-for Ivah, jerked her thumb in Anders’ direction.

Smiling thinly, Ann affirmed, “most definitely” and followed Ivah to one of the tables. The woman hastily swiped a rag over its lace covering (to which Ann smirked), then disappeared without a word.

“We, um—” Hawke called after her, hand held aloft in a ‘hold on!’ position. “We were told to get—”

“Tea! Yeah!” Ivah was no longer visible. The clunking and thudding of pot-steel suggested she was in a kitchen. “I got yer tea...”

Tuckered from his kitten play-date, Anders slumped into the chair across from Ann, cheeks glowing, eyes hazy.

“Wow,” Ann commented wryly, having once thought that look to be reserved only for post-coitus bliss.

“I named them,” Anders informed, sitting back comfortably in his seat. “Bink-Bonk and Stinker. They’re brothers, and they go on adventures together.” He nodded towards Ivah’s ruckus. “She seemed snooty.”

It was true. Brusque and assuming, Ivah’s nature was at odds with the quaint home settled within the cute village. Her garden of colours; the charming decor: neither matched her sharp, short attitude.

“I like her,” Ann said, surprising herself. Unsure why, it was nonetheless true. For reasons beyond her, Ann thought it to do with her flowers.

Quieting, slumping, the couple cooled down, taking stock of their various pains and aches, admiring their surroundings, and silently wondering how the rest of their trip would turn out.

No other living beings were to be heard in the house, which started to rub Hawke the wrong way. She was so used to over-shoulder glancing and credence-giving to the dread settling in her gut that she no longer knew how to handle peace. Five minutes of muted nothingness meant something was coming. Her heart clawed at her chest, restless and worried.

And she was right. Something came.

“Here’s your tea!” Ivah plunked down a huge tray with two-to-three too many things. Besides the tea-pot sitting on a brazier, there were cinnamon sticks bundled with red yarn, honey, milk, brown sugar, lavender satchels, cream, mint leaves, possibly maple syrup, slices of fresh, glistening lemon…

“My,” Anders exclaimed under his breath, staring at the spread.

“Never could make the stuff just right fer every person,” Ivah lamented in that thick accent particular to the town. “Always hearin’ ‘it’s too sweet, Ivah!’, or, ‘it’s too bland, Ivah!’' She nodded towards the fixings. “So here. Can’t make it perfect to yer likin’, yer too picky.”

With a flourish of her wrist, the brazier caught fire, setting their tea to boil. Ivan went off wordlessly, and Anders’ eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

“Did you—?”

“I did,” Ann affirmed. She realized why she’d thought she liked Ivah. The plants in her backyard: they’d been the same as some grown by Merrill in a little plot of soil in the Kirkwall alienage, all of which were for the purposes of replenishing mana, or supplementing mana, or sometimes subduing it.

Those flowers out back; those colours and petals: they were mage flowers.

Anders stared at the brazier’s flames, licking and flickering, dancing free and uninhibited.

“She…”

“I know.”

Hawke watched the wonder take years off his face. The newer wrinkles at Anders’ forehead disappeared; his crows feet, there as long as she’d known him, soothed. The old-man beard he hid beneath was no help, but the boyish joy pulling his jaw into an overwhelmed ogling made him as beautiful as she’d ever seen him.

“I can’t believe it,” Anders whispered, covering his mouth with both hands. Tears began to start; he looked at her with hope she’d forgotten. “Using her gifts. In the open.”

Ann realized she had to start breathing herself, or she might pass out. Swallowing, she felt a little hiccuping, happy sob, but pushed it away, back into her chest.

“Yeah.” Hawke nodded.

“With—with the new Circle of Magi under this Divine, I never thought… But without a thought! Without fear!” Anders’ bony hands, still clasped to his lips, trembled. “Maker.”

And he broke. Bent over, his face buried in his palms, the thick, glad tears spilled down his cheeks, through his beard, to his chin and sloping jaw. He was quiet in his weeping, but now and then a startling sound burst forth before he softened once more.

They knew. The town knew. Everyone in this village, without question, understood what Ivah was, and they didn’t care. They supported her; gave her coin; purpose. They allowed her to subsist on her gifts; they promoted her inn, sending strangers her way. No doubt they vetted visitors, choosing carefully whom to allow near Ivah’s inn. They loved her. They loved her enough that she needn’t be shy or guarded. She was brash and dismissive because they allowed it with their love. They let Ivah be herself.

Thinking about it some more, Hawke had to try very hard not to cry, too.

“Eh?”

Jumping, Hawke looked to her right to see the mage in question, thick hands on her wide hips, long mouth in a frown.

“What I miss?” Ivah asked, eyeing the tray, and, from her tone, most assuredly not making a joke. “Got yer cream; yer sugar.”

“Oh, it’s—it’s not that,” Ann said with a soft laugh, the sound of her own whispering voice breaking her heart. “It’s… it’s great tea. Really. It’s the perfect cup of tea.”

Ivah gave them long looks, scrutinizing and terrible. Anders tried hard to stifle himself, but it only made things worse. Finally, Ivah placed a key on their table, mentioned off-handedly “second room on the right—no charge,” and went on her way, wiping her hands on her patchwork skirt.

Anders sniffled, finally calming. His thin, graceful hands, which had become worn with these few years’ hard living, settled on the table. Ann took them in hers, and took her turn at a good cry.

[junker-town]

Jeanne Bonk explains how she became one of the NFL’s highest-ranking female executives

Jeanne Bonk, the Chargers’ executive VP and chief operating officer, has been with the team since 1991.

Bonk is leading the Chargers’ move to a new stadium, and the way forward for more women in the NFL.

Over the summer of 2019, SB Nation interviewed several women who currently hold or have previously held leadership positions within the NFL to find out more about them and the work they do. This Q&A series highlights the powerful women who have dared to shake up one of sport’s biggest boys clubs. Previously: Amy Trask, Charlotte Jones Anderson, and Hannah Gordon.

This week, we’re spotlighting Jeanne Bonk, who serves as the Los Angeles Chargers’ vice president and chief operating/financial officer. Bonk started her professional career as an accountant with Price Waterhouse before joining the team in 1991.

Aside from managing the team’s day-to-day financials, one of Bonk’s most important jobs is overseeing the Chargers’ new stadium being built in Hollywood Park, where they are slated to play alongside the Rams beginning in 2020. That includes strategizing the stadium’s revenue efforts and fan experience.

SB NATION: You started your career as an accountant. How did you end up with the Chargers, and was working for an NFL team something you thought about as a career path for you?

JEANNE BONK: I’d like to tell you I had some grand plan to become the chief operating officer of the Chargers or an NFL team, but truth be told, I probably didn’t even know what a COO was. I was the first person in my family to graduate college, so that was kind of my immediate goal: to graduate and get a job.

I was lucky when I was working at Price Waterhouse that I was working with a couple people that were also working on the Chargers’ client. Because they enjoyed working with me on a few other clients, they got me on the Chargers’ client. So that’s how I got interested in even knowing the people at the team.

And then when the CFO position became available, I put my name in the hat and was fortunate to be chosen. I say it’s the best business decision that I ever made as far as putting my name in the hat and working for this organization and the [Chargers owners] Spanos family. Looking back at it all, I should’ve known that I would’ve gotten into sports. As a 10-year-old little girl, I had giant posters of Jerry West and Wilt Chamberlain in my bedroom. I was a huge Lakers fan.

SB: What were some of the hardest parts about going from a traditional accounting firm to running the finances of an NFL team?

JB: It’s funny; the one thing I never really anticipated was the highs and lows associated with winning a game on Sunday. I should’ve known that just because knowing myself and how competitive I am, I played sports growing up and I don’t like to lose. But I just didn’t realize the impact the winning and losing would really have and how you really get into the game. I used to joke with my friends, everybody knew not to call me before noon on Monday if we had lost.

The other thing was because I did the [Chargers’] audit, I knew how things looked at year-end as far as the books and records go, but I didn’t know necessarily the process during the year [for] how to get there. So it was like kind of putting a puzzle together at first — I knew where we needed to end up but needed to figure out how we were gonna get there.

SB: What’s your job like from an overall perspective, and a day-to-day one?

JB: Overall, I would say problem solver and strategist. There are things that happen that you just have to come up with an answer, sometimes on the fly. And also from a strategy standpoint, just where we need to be as an organization going forward, and try to put us in the best spot to be the most successful.

On a day-to-day, I have legal, I have the accounting department, I have IT that report to me. But probably my biggest single project is working with the Los Angeles Rams and the stadium corporation on the new stadium.

SB: Moving to a new stadium sounds challenging and interesting. What’s it been like to work on that?

JB: Just contractually, to make sure we are all living up to the terms of the contract as well as come up with strategy and sales efforts to maximize the revenue as well as to maximize the game day experience for our fans.

So right now I joke we have a day job, which is Dignity Health [Sports Park] and a night job, which is the new stadium. The night job is starting earlier and earlier as we’re getting closer, and we’re thinking of what we need to as far as educating our staff first so that they can educate the fans to make their gameday experience the best.

And it’s all going to be new for them, so we want to make it as seamless as possible from the moment they leave their driveway. So that’s something clearly that we’re focused on. This new stadium’s gonna be phenomenal. Every day you go out there and see it, and it’s an amazing feat.

SB: What have been some of the most rewarding parts about your job?

JB: When the team wins and you see how it galvanizes your fans and the city as well as your staff. There’s nothing like winning — the high point probably was when we went to the Super Bowl [in 1994], from a team standpoint. But also seeing staff develop and mature and advance in their career. That’s always a good thing to see.

We went through a relocation from San Diego to Los Angeles, and relocations are hard. But when I see how our staff stuck together and worked hard and personally made the moves, that to me was fulfilling watching that, and seeing people rise to the occasion and working as a team together.

SB: You’ve said before how you never felt as if you were treated like a woman in the NFL. What did you mean by that, and do you think more women should take the mindset of not letting gender define anything?

JB: I’ve always felt that if you let gender be an issue, it’s going to be an issue. For me, it just never has been. I grew up, my dad had his own family-run business and we used to talk about it around the dinner table at night. But I grew up with, “You can do whatever you want to do. Whatever you put your mind to, you can accomplish.”

I just kind of put my head down and go and do what I need to do. I honestly don’t think about it when somebody says to me, “Oh, were you the only woman in that meeting?” and I’m like “Oh yeah, I guess so.” When I first started, I’ve always gone to the NFL owners meetings, and there were very few of us and we would joke, “Well, there’s no line at the ladies room.”

I really try to look at the bright side of things. I just think if you’re gonna make things issues, they’re gonna be ones. Just be who you are. Everybody brings — whether you’re a man, woman, black, white, or purple — you bring who you are and what talents you have to the table, and that’s just an addition to the group. And so, I’ve just never really focused on gender.

SB: You’ve seen more and more women get hired on NFL teams. How inspiring is that to see being one of the first?

JB: It is inspiring and fulfilling, and it’s because they did it the right way, forging on their own and working hard. We have Allison Miner in our office who’s a physical therapist and assistant athletic trainer. When I first started, our GM didn’t even allow women on the team plane, and for her to be in that position, that’s awesome in my book.

SB: What advice would you give to women wanting to do what you do?

JB: Look at what the job is in its totality. With the move, we hired some new people and a year afterwards we had somebody that said, “You know, I don’t really like working on Sundays. I didn't know I was gonna be involved on the weekends,” and I’m like “Really?” So, know what you’re getting into. Don’t go into this with a big grandiose view of working for an NFL team.

Just with every job, there’s gonna be sacrifices that are made. For us, most of our games are on a Sunday; for the road games, we’re traveling. So when are a lot of birthdays, or weddings, or bar mitzvah or first communions? The majority of those fall on the weekends, so we make the sacrifices and miss those. For us that work here, it’s worth it, but it’s not worth it for everybody.

[tookawaiitoolive]

The Forgotten One

The story of King Solomon and the 72 divine staves was always the same, but like always history wasn't recorded correctly.

But one divine stave was missing, the 73rd stave.

(Focalor x Reader)

~~~~~

You trudged upstairs with your bookbag hanging over your shoulder. The school was finally over and done with, at least for now.

You sighed as you threw your bag down on the floor. If only things weren't so complicated... You shook it off and looked in the mirror to check your hair. The feathers you had weaved into the strands were still intact.

You smiled and laid down on your bed, covering your eyes with your arm.

You closed your eyes tighter as you felt a glint of light in them. You removed your arm and saw it was coming from a gold band on your left ring finger.

Your eyes softened as you stared at the simple band. You knew it was on your wedding ring finger, but for some reason, you couldn't take it off.

It's not as if it was glued to you literally. It was more figuratively. If you took it off, you'd feel empty. You didn't understand, but you always refused to take it off when people asked about it.

You sat up and brought it closer to you to inspect it and as you turned it, it said the same engraving as it always had since the ten years you found it. Forever mine. It was endearing, but the weird part was, you didn't know where it came from or who it come from.

It just showed up in the dusty parts of your room and you felt something towards it. So, you began to wear it everywhere.

You smiled and pressed a small kiss to the engraving.

You laid back down and put in your headphones to relax with some music. As your finger hovered over the play button, a faded image came.

It was of someone's fingers ghosting over piano keys. The same image that came every time you played this song. You never knew what it meant, maybe it was your future, someone's past, or a past life you had once.

You shrugged and played the song.  As the song's music started a scene came.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"My king, my king!"

"You are finally uniting the world.  Thanks to your great deeds... The day we were eagerly waiting is finally..."

"Don't cry like that Amon you old geezer! Old men are easily moved to tears!"

From behind the group, a girl with light blue hair and purple eyes began to giggle. She was wearing a white corset-like top, at the top of her chest blue outlined it, bell sleeves that started halfway up her forearm and ended at her hand with little blue ruffles under it, white waist cape flowed from behind the white skirt with blue ruffles under the skirt.

"I really can't believe it. So many different species... Have about their pasts and entrusted themselves to you, a single great vessel..."

The same girl smiled at the thought of how far everyone had come, the train of thought was interrupted as her gaze shifted to someone blushing while staring at a man, the blush was soon replaced with an expression of sorrow.

"Huh... You cheater~."

"Just give up!"

"He's right, just fall in love with me!"

The blue-haired girl patted her on the head for comfort. She frowned and walked over to the man, once she was close enough she bonked him on the head with her staff.

"Ow! What was that for, Aoide?!"

"For being a womanizer and breaking Leraje's heart!"

•~•~•

"Aoide, go out with me."

The same blue-haired girl rose a brow, but then rolled her eyes. She got up and put down the book that she was reading.

She grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside to a small garden. Once she stopped she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It was nice going out with you, goodbye lord Focalor."

With that, she walked off leaving him gaping and processing what exactly just happened.

•~•~•

Aoide sighed as Focalor tried to win her over. The poor guy didn't know when to quit. "Focalor quit it."

He pressed a kiss to her hand and held it to his chest. "Go out with me just once," he said.

Aoide narrowed her eyes, "are you done?" She asked. He nodded.

She ripped her hand away from his, "no." She then walked off and left him gaping there once again. Everyone else there to witness the scene began to howl with laughter, especially Leraje.

•~•~•

Focalor was stuck, he didn't know what to do. He'd tried all his normal lines and everything he knew as a womanizer. Surprisingly, none of those caught her eye. How could he get her shining purple eyes to look at him?

He brought his hand to his chin in thought. What could he do to finally catch her attention?

He snapped his fingers as he got an idea. He got up and stormed out of the room, an idea in his mind.

~a little later

"Please."

Aoide stood there slightly gaping at the sight of a bouquet of purple flowers right under her nose.

She sighed and looked around to see no one around to witness his advancement.

Her eyes softened at the sight of him kneeling down. She sighed for the umpteenth time, "okay."

"What?"

"Are you deaf? I... Said okay," she said, blushing. She was going to pay for this later.

"Really?"

"You ask for confirmation one more time and I'll slap you silly," she said, raising her hand.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, "okay, okay." She bit her lip and let out a deep breath, relaxing in his arms.

•~•~• Aoide hummed in bliss as Focalor's hands ran through her hair. She was trying to read, but once his hands began to groom her hair all she could do was feel sleepy.

Her eyes drooped as he weaved feathers into her hair. "Focalor... Stop," she said wearily. He chuckled and continued.

She pouted and then closed her eyes. After a bit of feeling his hands run through her hair, she fell asleep.

Focalor smiled down at her sleeping face and wrapped his arms around her, laying her on his chest.

•~•~•

"F-Focalor~."

He smirked against her neck and continued to run his hands down her curves. He then reached his hands under her shirt to feel her soft (s/c) skin.

"Mmmm..."

He began to trail kisses down her neck and suck on her weak spot. She let out a soft whimper.

He bit her neck, "louder," he commanded. She moaned as he bit several spots on her neck.

"Focalor!"

He smirked as he felt her squirm under him, this truly was a moment to remember for him.

•~•~•

She looked over to his bare form, her gaze shifted to her nightstand. Sitting there was a lamp, showcasing that she was a metal vessel.

She nodded slightly. "Are... Are you scared of anything?" She asked hesitantly. Focalor's eyes widened.

"I'm only scared losing you."

She hugged him from behind, "you're not going to. I promise."

Focalor laid a hand on hers, "I hope so. Aoide?"

She looked over his shoulder, her long blue hairs spilling over her eyes, "yes?"

He turned to her and held her hands, "marry me."

She chuckled and rose a brow, "that was a more of an order than a choice. Do I have a say in this?" She asked.

He froze and blinked, he then regained his composure. He smirked, "I already know what you're going to say."

Aoide laughed, "where's my ring then?"

He smiled and from the palm of his hand came a gold band with an engraving.

Forever mine.

•~•~•

Aoide smiled as everyone in her underground city was flourishing and enjoying her music. After becoming a Djinn everything changed, the world they knew was gone. Her attire was now a white skirt that reached to her ankles with a slit going down her leg, she also wore a white crossover crop top. A gold necklace rested on top of her chest, as well as gold cuffs on her forearms.

Although, as she looked at all the smiling people she felt a little gloomy. She hadn't seen Focalor in quite a while and was growing lonely.

Ever since becoming a Djinn she wasn't able to see him.

The only reminder she had was the ring he gave her. She sighed, but then perked up as she saw Ugo with Aladdin.

"He's adorable!" She exclaimed.

"Sorry, Leraje! I have too many beautiful girls here in "Alma Torran" for all the others I have just one word, adios!"

She rose a brow as she heard Focalor's voice. Her eye twitched with anger, "lord Focalor, if you don't get rid of the whores you're with, I'm gonna come over there the beat the shit out of you. That's a promise, not a threat."

Focalor paled as he heard this and froze.

Baal sighed, "Focalor, you should really find yourself a wife. Maybe then you wouldn't be a womanizer."

He quickly recovered, "I already have one," he said simply. Everyone's eyes widened.

"WHAT?! WHO?!"

"Aoide."

Now it was Aoide's eyes that widened, "why'd you tell them?! I'm gonna kill you!"

•~•~•

"Ugo, there's still negativity in some people. As much as I'd hate to say it, I don't think showcasing Aladdin will allow it to dissipate. Let me help."

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"I can't say. It's a secret of my tribe, but I can use it now. I think it's the right time."

Aoide waved her staff, a piano appeared and she sat down. Her fingers ghosted over the keys and she took in a deep breath, she then began to play.

theres a point where it tips theres a point where it breaks theres a point where it bends and a point we just can't take anymore

theres a line that we'll cross and there's no return theres a time and a place no bridges left to burn anymore

we can't just wait with lives at stake until they think we're ready our enemies are gathering the storm is growing deadly

now its time to say goodbye to the things we loved and the innocence of youth how the time seemed to fly from our carefree lives and the solitude and peace we always knew

Her power as Djinn was music. The power she gained from Solomon allowed her to project her voice to let everyone hear.

theres a day when we'll fight and we're not gonna fall theres a day when we'll stand and a day when we won't crawl anymore

there's a moment in time and there's no going back when we're pushed too hard and we won't hold our attack anymore

we can't just cling to childish things as evil just grows closer humanity's in jeopardy this fight is far from over

now its time to say goodbye to the things we loved and the innocence of youth with a doubt in our minds why we chose this life and at times we can't help wondering...

were we born to fight and die? sacrificed for one huge lie? are we heroes keeping peace? or are we weapons? pointed at the enemy so someone else can claim a victory?

The purpose of her power was to manipulate people's minds, feelings, and actions. As leader of her tribe she had all that power, but thanks to Solomon it was stronger. Singing this song is allowing her to give everyone hope.

But as the song finishes she's going to disappear. Putting her feeling of hope into her rukh, she's going use this power to send it all to everyone who has lost it.

A tear ran down her cheek.

I'm going to miss you all, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, my people.

My tribe.

My friends.

And most importantly...

now its time to say goodbye to the things we loved and the innocence of youth how the time seemed to fly from our carefree lives and the solitude and peace we always knew

I’m sorry... Focalor

After the last note was played, she disappeared. Only leaving her rukh behind to flutter to every misguided soul.

I love you.

The moment, the deed was the done. The metal vessel she had broke and vanished into dust, only to be blown away by the wind.

No one had to time ponder on this or mourn because she was quickly forgotten as if she never happened.

~Earlier

"What?"

"If you use your power, you'all be able to use it once. So, use it wisely," said Solomon.

"Why am I only able to use it once?" She asked.

"The power is too strong for anyone to use and be fine. Even for me. The moment anything about a person is manipulated, it'll be too much power to use. Especially when it comes to their feelings, the feelings you'd want them to have can't come from anywhere. It would come from your rukh. And once the power is used no one will remember you."

She bit her lip and hesitated to answer. "Okay. I'll be sure to be careful."

~

Just as he said, everyone had forgotten. Everyone expect one person, Focalor.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You sat up and felt your eyes and hair. You hair seemed the same, you went to the mirror and sighed in relief as your (e/c) was still the same.

"Y/N, GET DOWN HERE!"

You didn't have time to think of the scenes that played as your mom called you.

"COMING!"

You left your phone sitting on your bed, as you closed the door a bird flew to your window and stared in.

[hetalia-tlw]

Hetalia: The Lost World Part 13

Not long after when Oliver teleported back to China's house, Kuro thought he saw and heard something (oooh those ninja/samurai instincts). 'That's weird, I knew that I saw something. However, my ninja rike instincts are never wrong' thought Kuro while the 2Ps were walking ahead of him. Without hesitation Kuro waited till the other 2Ps were out of sight and when they were gone, Kuro went the other way. Kuro wall climbed onto a roof to only see Oliver's magic trails. "That baka, thinks he can outrun me. Werr he's wrong" said Kuro as he followed the trails of purple and pink.

~Meanwhile At China's House~

"Iyong ju, I don't want this hug to end yet, aru" said China who was still hugging Iyong ju. "Uhh... I actually want this hug to end now, because this is starting to get awkward" said Iyong ju as China looked up and nodded. "Okay then" said China as he stopped hugging him.  "Ohonhonhon~! Bonjour, you must be North Korea. It's a pleasure to meet you. I am known as ze country of love, France but please call me Francis if you like" said France while walking up to Iyong ju. "Why yes I am and it's nice to meet you too" said Iyong ju while France gave him smile. "Iyong ju! Let me show you Arthur" said America while grabbing Iyong ju's hand and pulling him over to England.

"Umm... hello Arthur" said Iyong ju nervously while trying to make eye contact with England. "Yeah hi there" said England with an emotionless tone. "Ve~! Alright Iyong ju, let's-a make pasta together" said Italy before leaving along with Iyong ju following behind. "It feels so weird vith Iyong ju not trying to kill us" said France. "Oh come on guys! The hero has changed the once was known bad guy into a softie" said America with a smile. "Feliciano may have changed his ways, but there's always a time when a bad guy is always the bad guy" said England.

"Vat are you talking about you black sheep of Europe?" asked France. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that!? What I mean is that Iyong ju may become overly aggressive again" said England. "Iyong ju won't become like he once was many years ago ever again. So Arthur no matter how much you hate him, you ain't going to be laying a finger on him because Japan and I will be standing in your way, aru" said China with a serious look. "Y-Yao, do you actually mean that?" asked America who was surprised at China's sudden outburst. "Yes I do mean it, Alfred. Now if you excuse me I need to talk to Japan, aru" said China before leaving the room.

~Meanwhile In China's Living Room~

"Iyong ju has knows a transformation spell?" asked Prussia who was shocked. "Hai he does" said Japan. "He can also copy voices as vell" said Germany. "So zhat's vhy ve seen a second jou earlier today" said Roland. "I had him transform into me, so he can train Italy" said Germany. "Jou do realize zhat he did a great job being jou, bruder" said Prussia.

"That may be true, but Iyong ju onry has a rimit of how rong he can keep his own personarity before having ours" said Japan. "I understand. So if he has zhe power to both change his appearance und his voice, does zhat mean he can transform into almost everybody?" asked Roland. "Ja, he can. Vhat are jou zhinking about bruder?" asked Germany. "I vas zhinking zhat I should have him transform into Austria so I can practice vith him before messing vith zhe real one" said Prussia with a smirk. "Und vhat else?" asked Germany. "I also vant him to transform into me so I can hang out vith mein awesome self" said Prussia with a smile.

"Like he'll ever do zhat" said Germany. "Vell zhen, if jou're going going say zhat, I'll have him transform into jou" said Prussia. "Jou vouldn't dare" said Germany before Prussia broke out laughing. "Speaking of Iyong ju, vhat's taking Italy so long to get back here?" asked Roland.

~Meanwhile In The Kitchen~

When Italy and Iyong ju entered the kitchen, Italy had Iyong ju help him getting out the ingredients to make pasta. "Ve~! Jason, can you cut the tomatoes for me?" asked Italy. "Sure thing" said Iyong ju while taking out a kitchen knife and walked over to the counter. After a while the pasta was done and was ready to be served. "Ve~! Here you go Iyong ju, enjoy the pasta" said Italy with a smile while putting a lot of pasta on Iyong ju plate. "Thank you so much" said Iyong ju before using his fork to eat the pasta.

When both Italy and Iyong ju had finished eating the pasta, Iyong ju offered to help Italy clean. "Grazie! Now with-a that out-a of the way, let's go to the living room" said Italy while Iyong ju nodded. When they left the kitchen and into the living room, they caught Prussia laughing loudly. "Ve~! What's-a going on here?" asked Italy while Prussia stopped laughing. "Oh jou just missed somezhing really funny" said Prussia. "What was it?" asked Italy who still confused.

"Gilbert, vants to ask Iyong ju if he can transform into Austria und Germany" said Roland. "Actually Iyong ju, don't do a vord zhat mein bruder tells jou to do" said Germany. "Like what?" asked Iyong ju. "Just don't listen to him" said Germany. Soon China entered the living room and everyone looked up at him. "China, vhat are jou doing here?" asked Germany.

"Nothing really important, but I need to speak to Japan, aru" said China as Japan got up and followed him out the room. "Say Iyong ju, can jou do zhe awesome me a favor?" asked Prussia. "Yes, what do you want?" asked Iyong ju. "Can jou transform into Austria for me?" asked Prussia. "Umm... sure thing. But you guys need to cover your eyes" said Iyong ju. "For vhat reason?" asked Roland.

"Because Jason says, that-a things will-a go down south if you don't" said Italy before covering his eyes along with everyone else. Soon as a bright light flashed and vanished, everyone uncovered their eyes to see Austria standing in Iyong ju's place. "Unbelievable, jou're Austria now" said Prussia who was surprised. "Prussia, jou're a klutz for a Prussian" said Iyong ju in Austria's voice. "Zhat vas awesome und did jou just call me a klutz?" asked Prussia.

"Sorry about zhat" said Iyong ju before crossing his arms. "Now bruder remember vhat Japan said, don't make him over do it vith zhe impressions" said Germany. "Alright, alright I get it already" said Prussia. "So zhen, vho else do jou vant me to transform into?" asked Iyong ju.  "Come vith me und I'll tell jou" said Prussia as both of them left the room.

~Meanwhile With China And Japan~

China lead Japan to his indoor library and closed the door. "What is it, China?" asked Japan. "It's about Iyong ju, aru" said China. "What about him?" asked Japan. "When Italy came into my map room, he brought Iyong ju with him along with Alfred, aru" said China. "Go on" said Japan as China took a deep breath. "When Arthur was explaining about what he's going to do to Iyong ju, I looked up and saw him. I was about to say something until Arthur had beaten me to it, aru" said China.

"What did he say?" asked Japan curiously. "Nothing that's really important. I than walked over to him and I said that I missed him. He replied back saying that he missed me back and we hugged each other. It has been a long time since I cried, but that moment it made me truly cry, aru" said China. "So what erse happened?" asked Japan. "When Iyong ju left with Italy, Arthur still wanted to pick where he left off with him. But I told him that he has to get through us before he could even dare to lay a finger on him, aru" said China. "What do you mean by "us"?" asked Japan. "I mean that both of us needs to protect Iyong ju, aru" said China as Japan gave him a puzzled look.

"Do you know who erse you need to protect him from? I'rr give you a hint" said a voice that sounded like Japan but deeper. "Japan, did you just say something, aru?" asked China. "No I didn't, but I was about to" said Japan. "Oh you poor rittre me, I'rr show you no mercy" said the voice again. Before China could say anything, a ninja star came out of nowhere and almost hit him but luckily Japan caught it in between his fingers. "Who's there!? Show yourself" said Japan.

Out of nowhere a smoke cloud a appeared and out came out of it was a different version of Japan but he was wearing a black Imperial Japanese navy uniform along with a purple cape. "That looks like you Japan, aru" said China. "It isn't, that's my 2P" said Japan. "That's right, now that I reveared myserf prepare to die by my hand" said Kuro before pulling at his katana. Japan was about to pull out his katana, but realizes he left in his guest room. "Uhh... Japan, we could really use your katana right about now, aru" said China.

"Umm... that's just it, I reft it my room" said Japan. "Don't beat yourself up, you're lucky that I have kung fu moves and nunchucks in hand, aru" said China before pulling at his nunchucks and performed several tricks with them. "Oh rook at me, I'm so scared. What are you going to with those?" asked Kuro mockingly. China did another nunchuck trick and leaped into the air only to have Kuro block China's attack with his blade. "You fight with so much courage that it wirr be a shame to see you die" said Kuro with a monotone voice. "We'll see about that, aru!" said China before pushing Kuro back.

China than went into a fighting stance and ran towards Kuro to perform a karate kick. Kuro, however blocks it with his arm and put the sharp tip of his sword close to China's throat. "You can't beat me! I'm the most powerfur warrior in my country" said Kuro through clenched teeth. While both Kuro and China were fighting, Japan found a baboon staff and silently went behind Kuro. "I hope you'rr enjoy your fresh being cut" said Kuro while putting the sharp tip of the sword even more closer to China's throat barely cutting into his skin. Japan than used all his strength to bonk his 2P on the head with the baboon staff, causing Kuro to drop to the floor.

"Thanks for saving me brother, aru" said China who was rubbing his neck to make sure it wasn't cut. "You're wercome. That was crose" said Japan. China and Japan looked at the unconscious body of Kuro and Japan was making sure he wasn't dead. "He'rr be fine in a coure of hours. But that hit did got him good" said Japan while checking Kuro's pulse. "Might as well tie him up before he wakes up. I wonder what he's doing here and why, aru" said China. Both China and Japan picked up Kuro and carried him off to another room to tie him up in a chair. "When he wakes up, he's giving us answers, aru" said China while Japan nodded his head.

~Meanwhile With Prussia And Iyong ju~

"Kesese~! Ve're here!" said Prussia while standing front of a door to a bar. Iyong ju looked at Prussia to make sure that he hasn't lost his mind. "Uhh... why are we at a bar?" asked Iyong ju as Prussia turned around. "Because I vant to hang out vith jou" said Prussia with a huge smirk. "Oh how awesome of you! However I can't go in there" said Iyong ju as Prussia's smirk disappeared. "Und vhy can't jou?" asked Prussia while raising a brow.

"Because let's not forget that I'm the most hated country on the planet and I could cause fear" said Iyong ju. "Don't jou vorry, zhe awesome me vill get jou in zhere. In fact, jou're not going to jourself" said Prussia. "What are you talking about? Wait.... ah I see what your getting to" said Jason as Prussia smiled. In the bar Prussia was walking up to the counter while England (Iyong ju) was following behind him. Iyong ju wasn't really expecting to transform into a bastard he hates, especially if the bastard is British. "Say Iyong ju, I mean England, how are jou felling?" asked Prussia before laughing.

"Oh I'm doing just peachy. Besides I can't believe you talked me into this" said Iyong ju in England's voice. "I'm sorry, I vas going to have jou transform into Simon, but I like messing vith England more zhan messing vith Austria" said Prussia. Soon the bartender came over and offered both Iyong ju and Prussia beer. Iyong ju finished his way before Prussia could even take a sip. "Iyong ju, I'm surprised to see jou drank all of zhat in five seconds" said Prussia. "Unlike that British bastard who could barely stand even one sip, I can go on and on" said Iyong ju with a smile. "Really? Say zhen I like jou, Iyong ju! I can't vait to replace mein bruder und Antonio, because I finally have a drinking body zhat's awesome like zhe awesome Prussia!" said Prussia as he did cheers with Iyong ju.

~Meanwhile With China And Japan~

When China and Japan were busy talking, Kuro slowly began to wake up. "Shh... he's starting to wake, aru" said China quietly as Kuro opened his eyes to notice that he's in a room that appears to a police room for questioning. "Herro there. Nice to meet you" said Japan as Kuro looked at him. "What is this? Why am I here? What do pran to do to me?" asked Kuro as both China and Japan looked at each other and back at Kuro. "Oh just for some questions that's all, aru" said China. "Questions? For what reason?" asked Kuro.

"First of arr we want to know is your name" said Japan. "I am the rand of the rising sun, I am an imperiar nation, I am a country known for being the best at fighting, and I strike fear into the hearts of others. I am Japan" said Kuro. "More rike my 2P" said Japan. "That's right, I am 2P Japan and my name Honda Kuro" said Kuro. "Thank you for telling us your name and now let's get down to business, aru" said China. "Why I am tied up? Arso is this suppose to be a reference to good cop and bad cop?" asked Kuro.

"If that's what you think, than yeah" said China. "If you are wondering what we did to your sword, than I put it somewhere where you can't find it" said Japan as Kuro looked at him in anger but kept a stern expression. "Werr I was just wondering. If you want to get answers from me than good ruck, cause I happen to keep quite for arr my rifetime" said Kuro. "Ret's not forget we're the same person but with different personarities and arso I have many ways to make you tark" said Japan. Soon Oliver came into room unnoticed, till China and Japan turned and face him. "Hai Oriver, what brings you here?" asked Japan.

"Well lads, umm... me and Roland didn't mean to interrupt you. But we got something to show you" said Oliver. "What is it?" asked China. "Roland! You can come in here now" said Oliver as Roland stepped in with a similar looking China who was wearing a sleeveless Chinese military uniform with a hat and a tattoo is shown on his left arm. He was also tied up and had a handkerchief covering his mouth. "China, that rooks exactry rike you" said Japan as China stood there shocked. "Vhere should I put him at?" asked Roland who was behind this similar looking China.

"Umm... put him in that chair over there" said Japan as he pointed at the chair as Roland nodded. When Roland put his captive in the chair he came back and stood next to Oliver. "Who is that and why does he look like me, aru?" asked China as Oliver smiled nervously. "That there lad, is your 2P and his name is Xiao Yang" said Oliver while pointing at Xiao who was grumbling to himself. "Where do you find him?" asked Japan as Oliver got his mouth covered by Roland. "Ve found him in zhe shrine garden und vhen ve got him, he told us everyzhing" said Roland.

"Like what?" asked China while raising a brow. "Vell, he said he und zhe other 2Ps attacked a subway vhen first coming into Beijing. He noticed Kuro valking away und followed him, till ve saw him und I ambushed him" said Roland. "Wait a minute? Did you just say that the 2Ps are here in my country, aru?" asked China. "Ja und vhat's vrong?" asked Roland with concern in his voice. "Oh nothing, it's just that I felt pain in my chest earlier today" said China as Oliver freed himself from Roland's grasp. "Umm... lad about that feeling in your chest. I was there when the 2Ps attacked the subway and they killed about half of your people in the process" said Oliver.

"What? Who did they killed, aru?" asked China who was starting to freak out. "They killed some police officers and worse of all a large polar bear killed dozens of innocent citizens" said Oliver. "Whoever was in control of that polar bear is going to get a high flying karate kick into the Atlantic Ocean, aru!" yelled China while Japan jumped at his sudden outburst. 'Oh my god! Never in my rife, I never seen China that angry before. Oh wait... I guess I kinda made him angry after sricing his back with my sword onetime' thought Japan as both Oliver and Roland left the room without saying a word. "Sorry you had to hear that. I'm usually am overprotective to my people and vow to keep them safe, but now I'll be probably paying for funerals, aru" said China as both Kuro and Xiao looked at each other in confusion. "Anyway do you have anything to say?" asked Japan. "Hai, I do. You Chinese baka! How dare you terr those two traitors for 2Ps everything and why are we here!?" yelled Kuro as Xiao was yelling but the handkerchief was still covering his mouth. "Those two have one awkward rerationship" said Japan. "Not as weird as our relationship, aru" said China as both Kuro and Xiao were still arguing.

~Spongebob Narrator Voice: 11:00 P.M~  

Prussia came back to China's house, while Germany was waiting patiently. "Bruder, vhy are jou so late?" asked Germany as Prussia came into the living room. "I vas... uhh busy" said Prussia nervously as Germany noticed England with him. "Vhat vere jou doing vith England?" asked Germany as Prussia jumped a bit at the question. "Vell bruder, zhis iz not England. It's actually Iyong ju" said Prussia as Iyong ju smiled at him. "Vhat in zhe hell!? Bruder, he's drunk!" yelled Germany.

"I had Iyong ju transform into England, because he vasn't allowed to enter into a bar" said Prussia. "But vhy of all zhe people jou picked England? Jou should've had him transform into either Spain or Denmark" said Germany as Iyong ju looked at him. "Ludwig... I'm *hic*... fine" said Iyong ju in England's voice but in a drunken tone. "Nein, jou are not" said Germany sternly. "Oh for bloody *hic* hell sakes alive! I AM *hic* THE BLOODY COUNTRY OF THE *hic* DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC *hic* OF KOREA!!!!" yelled Iyong ju while beating his chest over and over. "For a second zhere, I zhought he vas going to say United Kingdom of Great Britain und Northern Ireland" said Prussia before laughing.

"Zhis iz vhy mein bruder can't have any new drunking buddies" said Germany while placing his hand on his temple. America entered the room while listening to his music. "Hey dudes! How's it going? Gilbert were you hanging out with Arthur?" asked America while taking off his earphones. "America, zhat iz not England. It's Iyong ju und he's drunk" said Germany while looking at America. "Wait a minute... did you just say that Iyong ju is Arthur?" asked America with a confused expression. "Ja, he iz. I vas hanging out with him und he made zhe best England impersonation ever" said Prussia with a smirk.

"So if he's Arthur, does that mean I get to tell him who he can transform into?" asked America. "Nein, America jou need to ask him first" said Germany. "Why not?" asked America. "Because he's drunk und he isn't sure if he can trust other countries" said Germany. "Oh I see. Maybe tomorrow then" said America before leaving room. "Bruder, help Iyong ju get to bed" said Germany. "Oi! I don't need to go *hic* to sleep! You go *hic* to sleep!" yelled Iyong ju while pointing at Germany. "Vhat?" asked Germany who was confused. "Vest, Iyong ju totally burned jou! He told jou to go to sleep" said Prussia before laughing. "Bruder, just take him to bed" said Germany as Prussia stopped laughing and carried Iyong ju out of the living room.

[2013-life-calendar-blog]

Camp 2018

Day 3: had a very fun camp fire, I feel so happy. I love hanging out with all of the people from Europe they are super funny! Met some of the cooks who are also nice. Sang campfire songs and chatted all night. The sky had so many stars. Got to witness multiple people having their first roasted marshmallow ever (Lizzy and Sophie).

Day 4 a person from Costa Rica was supposed to get antihypertensives before he came but he never went. Came in with chest pain. We couldn't find the bp cuff so searched for it. Took his blood pressure and it was super high so he told him to sit down. Measured it again and it went down + his chest pain went away. We were worried that we would have to call 911. Asked other nurses for antihypertensives but we don't have that here. They told their supervisors and said we had to wake up Sadie (which was annoying, and we just thought it was angina so we didn't wake her up).

Day 5: enjoyed the sunshine, worked out, played basket ball which was super fun!!!!! Got closer w everyone.

Day 8:

Very fun chatted with auggie and em all night about his girls and life

me and 2 of my friends were in the kitchen at like 11 just eating strawberries with chocolate cause my friends (auggie) is the baker for the camp. Basically tom Thomson (from the group of 7) got murdered on this lake and his body was found ON MY ISLAND. Anyways so we were talking about him and the lights in the kitchen started flickering. We then made a joke saying ouuu it's probs tom Thompson and I was like Emily pass my my phone incase tom shuts off the lights. Then I was saying how once when I was younger we asked for a sign from playing ouiji and the phone went off the hook. Then all of a sudden right after I said that the power went out in the kitchen so we were in the pitch black and it went out on the whole island. But it wasn't raining or anything so there was no reason for it to go out.

8. today in the morning I was like my brain was playing tricks on me after that last night I kept hearing someone walking behind our cabin (which is rocks and water so no one would be back there) and she was like WHAT THE FUCK I heard that too and just thought I was imagining it so I didn't say anything last night

Also went on a canoe trip I portaged the canoe on my shoulders alone for the first time it was so fun v proud of myself. Also learned how to stern the canoe. Learned about different things: cedar tread high in vitamin C, the British were dying of scurvy and asked the aboriginal ppl for help and they showed them to make Cedar tea. Ate wild blueberry leaves (tasted like ripe blueberries and have all of the antioxidants in them that blueberries do), wintergreen leaves (good in tea very minty), can use the sap from a cedar tree to help make a fire, its very sticky!!

July 17- so far it's been very busy. Dealt with an asthma exacerbation. Had Frankie a cute little girl who was obsessed with me always coming in for hugs (I miss her). Did 2 lice parties, one with 4 older girls (took 6 hours) one with 3 younger girls. Mikayla got a boyfriend at home wooo, but the guy here that likes her is sad. There's a nest and 3 little eggs hatched eggwardo Shelton and birdidette. 3 girls in inferm are so nice, chloe is very chill. Georgia and Sasha are hilarious!!!! Went sailing with Georgie and Mikayla and had the best time ever!!!!!!!!! I was so so happy. Javier said he misses me and started sending me hearts AHHHH he's so cute!!!!!!!!! Got to run a sexual health talk about STIs, contraception etc. I'm so happy and love it here

June 28 sat and played cards with Nikki Sophie, lizzy, and Emily on the diving tower. had the staff auction today which was so funny people spent $80 to make their friend chug a coke in front of the crowd, they did a big talk about raccoons at ahmek and had a big thing hiding behind the tarp. Then they took the tarp down and it was a door to the guys cabin. One dude bet $800 to get his door back. Another bet $1400 to get his walkie talkie LOl so funny

July 29- today was wild a 19 year old girl thought she may be pregnant I gave her a pregnancy test and it came back positive. She was super excited but anxious about telling her mom. I got to experience this for the first time which was cool and something I've never done before. Also a camper said she fainted for 30 mins in the past, she said she faints 1-2 times a day when doing lots of activity. She isint on any bp meds but takes 6-8 grams of salt a day. None of this was on camper files. She leaves on trip tomorrow. Said she had to stop swimming cause she thought she may faint. Had to interview her and got an extensive history took her standing and sitting bp, checked heart rate and stats. Relayed the info to doctor sarah and she said I did a great job, wooohoooo

July 30- camper FAKES having heart palpitations and fainting for 30 mins. We hold her back from trip and her dad fucking says she's lying about everything and her symptoms are nonsense.

August 2nd - best day at camp ever. We got to put sparkles all over us for campchella. Jermey had them all over his beard(the resident). We are snow cones, went on bouncy castles, hit eachother off these stands with big poles,  did karaoke to don't stop believing (with the med staff) and went on the slip in slide which was so friggen fun!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy :)

August 8th- this 7 year old girl had been found on the ground after fainting multiple (around 4) times, her vitals and blood sugar were normal. We had called her parents cause we were very concerned I asked a counsellor to watch her faint, and turns out she was just falling on the ground and pretending to faint loooool. She braced herself and would squint her eyes. We told her that if it continued she would have to stay in the infirm. I participated in the bouleé which is a canoe race. Our time was 15 mins 13 seconds. We then dunked our canoe and played on the water tramp with the sun setting a magnificent pink, it was so beautiful and fun. I'm so happy

August 9 The bar was so great, they had a computer plugged into a speaker so we got to YouTube the songs we wanted and be our own DJs. The bus ride was also so fun!!!!! We had to paddle from the island to the bus. On the way back it was so dark, there are lights all over the lake and one of the lights is our camp so it was a big challenge trying to figure out how to get home. Also in the middle of the lake Mikayla and I were paddling and then all of a sudden tipped over by accident. It was so weird cause we didn't even feel wobbly but then we were in the water with all of our stuff, our rain jackets on and shoes. It was very funny, we both were dying laughing. We had to do a T rescue so that we could get back in our canoe cause it was filled with water. I was very smart though cause I made sure my purse was strapped on before we left just incase we tipped and I also put mine and mikayla's phones in a ziplock bag (go drunk shea!!!!). Then we got home and ate Cheetos and chocolate. It was a great night!!!!! Still getting chirped by everyone for tipping

August 11- went to boots and hearts!!!! Had so much friggen fun! A nice cute man named Jordan saved our lives cause our dick head cab driver wouldn't drive us to line 7. Chilled w the pals, saw Vince connor and Liam which was nice. The gals were super pumped to see me. We played frizzy bat, lots of drinking games and chatted. Saw Parker Jackson and he told me he is still in love w me, we dated 4 years ago how peculiar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 13- today was my last intake day, very bittersweet feeling!!!!!! It went by so quickly, only 1 person had lice (much better than our 10 person staff lice party). We got to swim and I paddle boarded with the tocos they are so cute!! I also played this or that while the kids jumped in the water. Today was a great chill day. One toco broke her tooth in half on a rock, she didn't even cry or anything (very proud). For treating a poison ivy rash all over this girl's body we are using prednisone, you have to be careful and slowly taper this medication. She started with 30 mg once a day and then went down to 20 mg once a week. Rash is causing burning and pain, it went away but 3 days later it came back so we had to give her more prednisone.  

Aug 14

Good day got to relax in the sun and swim. Started making my paddle, it is hard work!!! The girl with the poison Ivy's rash continued spreading. they think she may have a hypersensitivity to the meds and this is a delayed reaction of it. She took 20 mg of reactine and 50 mg benadryl. We will see if this helps

Aug 15

The camper from before with the "heart palpitations" is back. She said that she had heart palpitations twice on trips and then listed the 2nd 4th and 5th day??¿ she said the last time she fainted was 2 weeks ago doing a science experiment when the last time we spoke to her it was kayaking and then playing tennis with her brother. Before she said she fainted for 30 mins 2 years ago, now she's saying it happened 1 month ago??? This girl is FUCKED. I'm so angry that she keeps doing this. a girl in her cabin fell off of a horse, so they think she is doing it so that she gets some attention back. I'm going to scream.

August 19th

Council ring

Where are you mike? I'm right here pat,*bonk with sock*

August 20th

Got to watch all of the 50 days paddle in, was so wholesome, very proud of them. Georgia came and gave me a big hug awwwww!!! Wait nvm lmao the doctor found a louse on my fucking ear, must've been from Georgia hahahaha, that's okay still such a good day. Then watched the final play which was AMAZING momma Mia was so good!!! Then went to a dance which was so LIT, everyone was in a small circle inside tables. A girl got hit in the head with a jug and was bleeding everywhere, cleaned her head and tonja applied glue. Contacted parents

August 22nd

Was trying to say boo or bubs accidentally called emily boobs lmao, did inventory got to pop some staff infection wounds like pimples which was AWESOME!!! Mikayla and I are brain dead and hyper and laughing about the stupidest s things hahaha. Did inventory and lots of intakes of kids from trip. Game night final banquet was SO FUN!!!!! Had mozzarella sticks, guac, enchiladas, spinach dip and lots more. Monopoly would go around putting people in jail and everyone would stand up and diss eachother. One of ours to chess was there ain't now yawns on us their ain't no yawns on us there may be yawns on you pawns but their ain't no yawns on us CHECKMATE! Giant mosquito attacked me wahhhh.

Aug23

Finished inventory. Rose fainted in the canoe was hyperventilating had to calm her down. Mikayla threw tape at me and I threw my phone across the room on the floor to catch the tape

Cute things campers have said

-Willa: comes to infirm and says arm hurts counsellor says what, you said your leg hurts! Then Willa goes it moves, oh look now it's in my tummy.... ouch now it's in my neck.

-evy: says she can't see and won't focus on me and says: where are we?? Counsellors scared that she has heat stroke. I take her with me to the inferm and she is limping walking really slow and saying she's going to faint. Keeps asking where she is. Then I say don't be homesick you only have 7 days left. She stands up normally and says 9 then starts limping and saying she can't see again lmaooo.

-Christina: health checks we ask her if she's been sick at all in the last month, she thinks for a few seconds and says I'm positive I had diarrhea once then pauses and says ya I'm positive. Then she leaves and we hear her counsellors say: don't lie to the nurses. Then we see her running back to the door and she frantically knocks on the door and says: I didn't have diarrhea

-Christina- gets belly button cleaned because she has an infection. She always comes in and lifts her shirt up so she can get it cleaned and today she walked and and pulled down her pants and then goes oops I forgot

-Greer: see at first I would have said that you saying my nose will get bigger if I like wasn't true but like... you're a nurse so you know

it's like chill

Chelsea

me:" so what happens when you eat red food colouring, how are you allergic to it?" Her: " I get aggressive" me: "what do you mean by that" her: "I get violent"