#I think I had vague intentions to do a cleaned up version but tbh I love the sketchiness of this too

[atompalace-official]

I don’t think I’ve ever posted this animation on tumblr…! time to fix that! sylveon dance mode!!! 🎀💕

[lowspoonsgourmet]

The easiest best two to three days of food for one person I know of. A flexible modular recipe. This is going to sound high work at times due to how broadly I am writing this, it is not as bad as the vagueness and intentional broadness makes it sound signed a person who has frequently accidentally had sleep for dinner after being unable to make it too damn much.

Rice cooker needed.

Ingredients:

Rice (any), lentils or beans optional (one or two cans), frozen vegetable mix (any and in as much quantity as you want, I like potato, carrot, peas, and corn you like what you like)

Sauces (teriyaki sauce and kewpie mayonnaise is what I swear by because of how easy they are to manage and pour and how well they compliment the food and each other but use whatever you own and can stomach or nothing at all, extra points for one having some fat), seasonings (curry powder and salt is my standard, really the salt is enough) Oil

Additional protein (tuna, cheese, ham, chicken tendies, shredded chicken, tofu, more beans, egg, mushroom, setian, nutritional yeast, you do you, two seperate sources for the different days useful)

In to the rice cooker, put two cups rice with water in proportion, one or two cans lentils or beans if using (strain and quickly rinse them if you can, if not just pour out as much of the liquid as possible and dump), and a lot of frozen vegetable mix in whatever variety you have on hand/like. It's going to look like a lot. That's because it is. This is good. Add more vegetables. Two cups of rice makes more than you think so it's very hard to add too many vegetables to this if you're at least neutral on vegetables. Let the rice cooker cook. It's going to take a while so do whatever.

This is now a mostly complete meal if you add fat and salt, so the teriyaki and kewpie in my version. The additional protein will make it more filling and better in general, so adding a low effort one

Turn off the keep warm on the rice cooker and dump out the leftovers on a plate or something. Or not and just put the whole pot away. Leave in fridge overnight.

If you're ambitious/need variety reheat by frying with a different seasoning and secondary protein source #2 for best results. It's all already cooked so you just need to add the extras and to have it be warm. If you want to then use the fried rice in multiple meals, it reheats in the microwave better than the unfried. If you're not, reheat in the microwave with extras and enjoy that yesterday you making food for today you really helped out today you.

This provides two days of main meal food that are both very presentable and flavoursome, and are sufficiently different to each other it takes a long time to get sick of/makes it easier to feel like you're "doing well". I have had friends compliment me on how nice I am eating despite being in states that would usually leave me struggling to make myself food that mildly disgusts or concerns them. It dirties the rice cooker bowl and paddle, one eating bowl and utensils, one plate (optional), and a frying pan (optional). Most of those I just rinse out or soak not wash properly tbh, it's not like it has cheese to scrub off if you don't use it. This whole process takes about five minutes of active prep and clean up both days. The worst pitfalls I have found with it are getting too ambitious on the secondary protein for day 1 and eventually just having nothing, which I fixed for me by switching to canned tuna or shredded chicken, forgetting or otherwise failing to empty or turn off the heating of the rice cooker, and getting overwhelmed having to use the stove at all day 2 and avoiding the nice but optional upgrade.

I hope this is helpful for someone out there, I know how often most of these from around the place sound "oh my god you think that's simple??" But, and I say this as one of you, the backbone of this is having the machine that boils carbs boil a bunch of carbs for you and cramming as much of a "complete" or "fancy" meal's prep in to that process as possible then finishing with stuff you just pour, drop, or slice in.

Sounds helpful

[terresdebrume]

Progress in the negative space

So as I mentioned a couple days ago, my mother and sister have arrived in Cambodia, and while it’s really cool, it’s also kind of reminding me a lot of why I decided to pick up a career path that took me on the other side of the world.

(I could, probably, have managed to stay in Europe, but that’s beside the point.)

I’ve said it before—though possibly not here yet—and I’ll say it again—though probably not where my parents are likely to find out—but I’m fundamentally incapable of living my own life with my family nearby. I don’t think it’s even their fault at this point, really.

I mean, I’ve spent most of my family life feeling judged and being found wanting—I never got the feeling that I was enough for them, that I was ‘worth’ them, so to speak. I don’t think that’s what any of them are going for. I’m pretty sure they want what’s best for me, even if we’re all too awkward to properly communicate about it.

(And also the fact that I’m sort of hypersensitive to anything they say doesn’t help.)

The fact remains, though, that I never feel like I’m enough for them.

Ever since I came to Cambodia, I’ve lived my life with an intense sense of liberation. I’ve been able to deal with things the way I wanted to, to make my own rules and my own habits and my own friends without having to hear my parents tell me they didn’t get me/my life choices/whichever—my experience living in Scotland for 9 months in 2011-2012 was definitely a lesson for us all in that respect—and that was great.

Amazing, even. I didn’t notice it at first: I was too caught up in the everyday quirks of anxiety to pay proper attention to it. New country, new city, new job, new people, the list goes on and I’m sure it’d keep anyone a little stressed out tbh.

But ever since my mom and sis got here I’m acutely aware of the way I stress myself out trying to figure out ways to keep them entertained (occupied?) in a way that suits and pleases them, to spend as much time with them as possible (pretty much trying to reorganize my life around them because they did shell out the plane tickets and fly for a day straight to visit me) and present the best possible version of my life.

(It’s not working as well as I’d expected. I spent days saying I needed to clean my flat before my mom could see the filth, but I still ended up brooming through the dust while she and the sis were there. I don’t think I’m ever gonna get rid of that instinct.)

I don’t think I realized how much pressure I put on myself to look and sound ‘perfect’ in front of my mom (my dad is...a complicated business) until I spent six months without it and then slipped back into the habit ever since Thursday. I’m not sure why I’m so terrified of her judgment—I know it’s normal to want your parents to be proud of you, I’m not quite sure that kind of proportions is exactly in the ordinary range—but I am and it’s exhausting.

It makes me feel like, unless I have something exceptionally intelligent or fun to say I should just keep my mouth shut—but then I sound like I’m bored with them so isn’t it better to stay away? Except then I’d look like I don’t like them or something, so I spend time with them and feel awkward and judged and anxiously wait for it to be over so I can breathe.

It’s illogical, for the most part, and if anything it’s just exhausting and stressful and brought me nothing but neck ache and a ridiculous amount of sweating today, on top of the heat...and yet I can’t detach myself from it, because I’m terrified of the moment the other shoe will drop.

(My family is pretty vocal about being displeased, for the most part. I’m not sure it’ll ever stop scaring me, or that I’ll ever get another response than feeling worthless when this displeased state is vaguely directed at me.)

I don’t know. I’m happy to see mom and the Sis. we’ve had fun moments, and I did genuinely miss them, but at the same time sometimes I feel like they probably think I’m stupid or a slob or something? It’s kind of like they’re giants—or good enough at pretending they are to fool me, because I know for a fact the Sis and I have a lot of issues in common, and I’m starting to suspect it’s the same with our mom—and I’m desperately trying to claw my way out from between them before they crush me without noticing.

I wish I could feel different about this—I’m not sure if that entails making me different, or them, or both, but I do still wish I didn’t feel like that about them—but I do.

Sometimes, I wonder what that might mean for my life later on—how I’ll deal with these frankly impractical feelings and whatever life I manage to build for myself, in Cambodia or elsewhere. I mean, there are so many things that didn’t seem so scary anymore for the past six months, sometimes I don’t even recognize myself.

I’ve made friends, I’ve discovered new places, I’ve started exercising (though I haven’t actually exercised for the past week, in part due to my issues) I’ve started trying not to put my abilities or accomplishment down so much (doesn’t work too well where my mother is concerned, but still). Hell, even the thought of getting in a romantic relationship doesn’t sound so scary anymore from here, that’s how good Cambodia has been for me.

(As an aside: I’m really, really glad about that. I did wonder if I’d gone crazy back when I first accepted this job...now I’m mostly hoping to keep it for however long they’ll have me xD)

Honestly, I’m happy with what I have here. I’m not sure I’d talk about pride just yet, because I don’t feel like I’ve actually worked for it all that much (I.e: actually sat down with the clear intent of doing something as opposed to just...let things happen, I suppose?) but I’m still happy with it, which is pretty cool.

I just wish my family’s absence wasn’t such a strong condition to my present well-being, I guess.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW33

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.

WALSH (abridged version written by Alon)

Transfers:

OUT: Kun and Tony Valencia

IN: Kane and Joel Ward

So RE: Kane/Bookaku debacle on the pod we decided to go with what was initially dialed in - simple - Kun to Kane. Walsh later chimed in after listening to the pod from Japan to “fuck Lukaku” and bring in Kane and cap him :).. so there we have that. I think Romelu is NOT essential going forward except for this week. Not having big Rom this week is a very very scary risk but Walsh plays dangerously and so here we are.

The second transfer was done when me and Walsh were texting today, like 6pm my time and 7am his time in Japan we got it done. We decided to fuck off Valencia and that whole headache. Hard to imagine him starting more then 1 match in their next three and we decided to triple up Palace who have a great fixture this week and obviously the double next week. Ward the safest/most nailed fuck in their backline so here we are. And Walsh obviously a massive Palace supporter made it all sweeter.

GK: Big Tom Heaton 4 life. But actually not for life he will probably be fucked off by Walsh next week for Valdes.

DEF: Alonso 4 actual life (fuck off Tom). Bellend is away at ‘Boro so maybe Arsenal will keep a clean? Don’t hold ur breath. New great friend Joel Ward comes in against a shitty ass Leicester side who will probably rest 4-5 lads before their UCL second leg vs Atletico (which is now all that matters for them).

MID: Keeping Siggy and Ayew was decided on by Guest Jason, Derek, and me on the pod and so here we are. Siggy is at Watford (PLUM) and brother of Jordan is at Sundy (PLUM) so all of our fingers are crossed that we did good by Walsh. Wilf the legend easily keeps his place and Alexis on thin ice (but not really) is well overdue a tit for the both of us.

FWD: Walsh loooooves Kane. I remember Walsh getting in Kane in 13/14 season when I barely knew who he was and he was priced at like 5.5 mil.. It’s nice for Walsh to have Kane back reunited with Harold or Harrison or who cares. Ibra absolutely nailed into all relevant FPL squads from GW34 onwards with their two upcoming doubles and rounded out by the of nowhere confident Benteke who could haul home vs Leicester. I feel it at least.

CAP: Kane. Scenes.

ALON

Transfers:

OUT: EVERYONE BABY IM ON WILDCARD FUCK EVERYONE

IN: WILDCARD LETS FUCKING FUCKKKKKKK4206969

OK I’ve been tinkering for literally hours today. I’m worthless. Here’s where I ended up and I’ll dig into it below:

GK: Pickford the god has been in my team a long long time and I surprisingly don’t hate him, I kind of love him. That’s saying a lot tbh..

My second GK is Valdes purely for the ‘Boro double gameweek next week. He probably won’t start again for me all season.

DEF: We were all talking shit on Alonso on our text thread and then he put in a peach of a FK and everything was immediately retracted. I know the clean sheets yada yada yada but we love him for his attacking intent. We’re getting basically an attacking winger for 6.4 (when I bought him) who’s out of position listed as a defender and therefore gets clean-sheet points on a top three defense. He’ll also be essential for GW36 and GW37.. It’s simple as that so back off of me and him. Starting Kelly this week home to Leicester - Palace are in scenic form and as I wrote above Leicester are shit and will be resting a bunch of people. Could be a cheeky clean / baps type of game from old friend Martin who should be nailed for at least the next 3-4 matches with their injuries and Sakho unable to play vs LFC. And lastly Holgate in there as mostly an enabler with his cheapness but also because I want to start him this week home Burnley so that’s all that needs to be said about that. Fuck Burnley...

Rounding out the bench Bailly is in as one of only two nailed United defenders (the other being Rojo). Bailly I like a lot more and is seemingly much better on bonus so I’m there. He’s also just a way better player for me which I’m hoping secures his spot more firmly when other guys eventually return. Stephens another bench dweller and $$$ enabler but he’s seemingly nailed. He will not see the pitch for me until GW35 home to Hull (maybe) and then the two doubles GW36 and GW37.

MID: Alli I’ve been saying for weeks on weeks is the best midfielder in the game in terms of value and tits. Kane back is a small dent as Spurs will still fuck most teams sideways. Alli not goin’ anywhere. Alexis I presented my case for him on the pod and my inability to part with him is a large part of the reason I ended up wildcarding after all. Yes he’s in bad form, yes he’s playing out wide, yes Arsenal are fucked up right now. But I think over the rest of the season and two doubles his class will shine through. You wanna leave in the summer Alexis? Show me. Zaha one of the few who kept their place in my squad through the wildcard grinder and how could he not do? He’s a fucking festival and will probably get sold for 50million this summer. Not to mention he doubles in GW34. And lastly King. It had to be King. It’s the obvious move and the template move but he’s just the best guy for the spot since the Southampton’s first (of two) double gameweeks is further away then we thought it’d be. If, say, Soton were doubling this week or GW35 I’d’ve maybe gone Redmond or JWP instead but I cannot reason that in this moment. Go on Josh.

My bench / 5th mid is Romeu. I was tinkering with this spot maybe most of all spots. I had a cheeky Leadbitter in there (good stats but not nailed) and some other fucks too. I ended up with Romeu and his nailedness and his two doubles approaching. He doesn’t have any attacking prowess whatsoever but he will probably play ~360 minutes over GW36 and GW37 and that at minimum is 4 points per GW. Maybe some clean sheets and maybe some bones that could rise a bit. But I’ll take 4 points a week.

FWD: The holy trinity. Romelu the god home Burnley this week looking to cement the fuck out of his very shiny golden boot. King Kane returns and we have all wasted no time to get there. He’s the best player in FPL and there is really no one else to even consider ahead of him for me. And lastly Ibra. Nothing more to be said for Ibra. We all know he’s not explosive and we all know that he’s essential. I hate saying players are essential but Ibra really is.

CAP: Sticking with my pod guns and keeping it on Rom. Kane is sooooo tempting because of his much lower ownership percentage but I gotta stick with my twats here. Kane might not start or might just play 60-70 minutes and Lukaku at home vs shit teams is as automatic as one can get this season. Let’s ride it.

SPECIAL GUEST DEREK C.

Transfers:

OUT: Costa and Aguero

IN (For -4 Points): Lukaku and Kane

Even though it is tough for me to imagine kicking two of my favorite bros to the curb, it seems that Alon did a good job of convincing me live on the pod this week to bring on one of my FPL debut strikers, Bookaku, and the mouth breather, Harold "my real fucking name is Harry" Kane. I will take the -4 hit, which I have only done maybe once or twice this whole year, it makes sense to me due to their tasty fixtures and likely high captaincy rates. Additionally, I still do not have any Spurs players so it seems prudent to finally bring one on.  Harry, please treat some dongs for me and make this reunion worthwhile.

GK: For the first time since GW27, I am going to go with General Lee Grant.  Tommy Boy is playing at Everton and I am hoping Bookaku scores a hat trick against while the fusion of the Confederate and Union archenemy Generals is playing Hull at home.

DEF: Fresh off a delightful dinner with my parents and me, Marcos A. will get his spot, per usual.  Chelsea is playing Manure so not necessarily expecting a clean, but Alonso's constant flanking of the wing and involvement in the offense makes him a locked starter on my side.  My other Stoke lad and a stalwart on my squad since GW1, Pieters, will also get the start.  Lastly, I will go with Valencia and hope he plays more than 60' despite Mou's vague comments about his status.  He played all 90' in the Europa match but with all of United's fixture pile up, who really knows what will happen with him.  If Valencia gets rested, I will have Holebas first off my bench.

MID: With Arsenal desperate for a win, Alexis survives one more week on my side and I expect him to return against Shiddlesbrough. Wenger's recent remarks that Alexis prefers to play wide than upfront makes me think he may not be back up top this season which makes me sad, alas.  Another one of my loyal lieutenants, Siggy, will get his spot again.  No assists or goals since GW 28 has been a complete joke, but the tide must turn for him and his desperate shit team.  Leroy Sané gets his second start for my side this weekend.  He hasn't returned in a couple of gameweeks but I really have loved his involvement and the chances he has had in recent memory.  With Kun out for me, he is now my only City representation.  Lastly, but certainly not least, Wilfried gets the final spot for my team this week. Returning in three of his last five fixtures he has looked great and Palace has also been playing very well, beating Chelsea and Arsenal in two of the last three gameweeks.  I am hoping for at least an assist from Mr. Zaha this week against Leicester.

FWD: Divock gets his likely last go around for me ahead of bringing on Zlatan next week for the doubles.  I am kinda nervous that Sturridge will get the nod ahead of Origi but fingers are crossed.  My two new lads, Rom and Kane, will get the last two slots up front.  Nothing else needs to be said here.

CAP: BOOKAKU. This is not a very exciting or unique captain shout but feels like a safe and responsible move.  Kane versus Bournemouth is also on my mind but I am still nervous that he will not play the full game.  Although Bookaku has frustrated me at times this year in certain games when it seems like he is barely involved or even touches the ball, it cannot be overlooked that he has the second most points in all of FPL, only behind Alexis.  Burnley is a nice fixture at home so hoping for an explosion from the Belgian while Everton try to make an unlikely push for a top four finish.