#I take in information and then just sit
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.
#it reminds me of that time in 'Alice' (NOT related as vis a vis takes place seasons BEFORE 'Alice') but when B'Elanna says Tom:#'practically assaulted me' Janeway's not taking it seriously at all she says 'that doesn't sound like Tom' and I was like CAPTAIN??? DEATH?#but again that has no bearing on this in-universe bc that hasn't happened yet. REALLY I'm screaming and crying about B'Elanna's self esteem#issues which Steth literally manifested the worst case scenario of#Tom's little gesture when he gets back also goes over so well bc of this in MY mind.#Tom wanting her and Tom being with her is something B'Elanna wants regardless of how he actually acts in their relationship#(as long as it isn't abusive). He rarely puts her first without prompting or complaining BUT...he's a handsome human guy who wants her to b#his girlfriend. Ostensibly. And that's a prize you wanna hold onto.#God I love B'Elanna............#did she tell ANYONE or did she just sit with that interaction alone???#her not telling anyone implies that she DIDN'T go 'hey that's not like Tom! I should inform the captain of this incident!'#and that KILLS me dude...she's not like 'Something's terribly wrong with Tom or maybe that's an imposter!' she's like 'Tom said/did that to#me.' SCREAMING. SCREAMING. TOM. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS /BAD/ WITH B'ELANNA.
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“That was the trouble with slow people. Give him a fool any day. Slow people took some time to catch up, but when they did they rolled right over you” - Terry Pratchett, small gods
In small gods this quote always stood out to me and I think I just realized this idea is so core to the book and the general arc of the book. Like this is one of Brutha’s core traits and also kind of the primary arc of the book. I think unlike most protagonists with an arc of the sort Brutha has, as well as in comparison to the other people fighting Vorbis, he takes a long time to really seemingly leave the harmful beliefs behind. However when he does he bowls everyone else over.
This quote, as well as Brutha’s characterization in general, also made me think about what exactly slowness is. I think, at least in this case and context, slowness is taking the time in your thought. Brutha really takes the time to come to conclusions he comes to. He thinks about what he is learning, and some of it is probably partially denial, but in comparison to other characters that deal with this kind of situation there is not a lot. Instead it is more like he comes to his conclusions slowly and with consideration.
#terry pratchett#gnu terry pratchett#discworld#small gods#brutha#idk I just really liked this take on ‘slowness’#I think in some ways I can be like that too#I’ll learn a new piece of information in a discussion with someone#and then I may need a day or so or more to really sit with my opinions on the topic#idk brutha is just a really cool character to me#and man how does pterry write characters with such intricate personal selves#they’re all so complicated in just their way of thinking#and individual#it’s so cool
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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Here's the thing about season 3. Nothing was a secret. There was no lining or buildup. They cleared up the miscommunication in episode 4 and she stood by breaking up with him anyways.
From there, just like I say about Will's feelings being unreciprocated, the problem is unactionable, so there's no lesson and nothing for us to root for.
Mike wants to get back together with El. She knows that. Nothing happens.
The L bomb was dropped as a false sense of momentum, because there actually wasn't any because him not saying it wasn't the problem so it shouldn't be the solution. Usually you have pining. Think the full season breakup story they did the following season:
There was pining. There was investment from US. Because there was setup for confession. Because something was withheld to be revealed. "You know I really like you but you don't know I love you" does not count. Lucas didn't know Max wanted to get back together. They had been broken up long enough and Lucas was respectful enough that Max couldn't be sure either. That setup investment for the notes passing scene. That set up his NERVES in it. That set up me being excited when I saw their first kiss in her 4x04 happy memories sequence. And satisfied to have predicted the Snow Ball as her happiest memory. If Max had known he definitely wanted to get back together as soon as she was ready again and wasn't going to move on at all, there would be no stakes.
Mike wanted to be with El. Then she didn't want to be with him. She can't have the nerves of confessing to him she wants to get back together because she already knows he does. He can't have the nerves of confessing he wants to because he already has. And they didn't establish them as friends solidly or for long enough like they did by establishing that Lucas and Max had ALREADY broken up as opposed to a 6 day breakup arc to make it so that they became unsure of what they once knew to me true of getting back together. Severity of wording changed and El loves romantic tropes in movies so it had influence but really:
Mike had no information to add that El didn't already have. El had nothing stopping her giving Mike information as soon as she had it. There were no stakes. So I didn't care. Whatever happened, cute. That was my thought process. But I had no real investment anymore, unlike when they were building to confession or fighting to get back to each other, because I knew as soon as she wanted to get back together they just automatically would be. So if you, like you were meant to, believed that Mike loved El and knew that she knew that, that scene where she said it back was cute. But not satisfying.
There is nothing to be resolved. We're watching events take place sequentially. Because when there are no stakes, there's no real goal either. Mike invented one for himself because he was uncomfortable with the idea of how comfortable he was broken up.
Tldr: Mike and El's relationship had no secrets and therefore no stakes or opportunity for confession in season 3. El telling Mike she loved him was cute, but not a "confession". Because, just like Mike telling her he loves her in 4x09, if we (think we) know how the other person is feeling and will react, we can't at all invest in the feelings of nervousness or satisfaction that the confessor is feeling.
Season 3 and 4 uninvested us by feigning plots in which they gave us no new information. And bored us. If you know exactly how a scene will play out all but exact wording, you will space out because you can. A writer never wants you to be able to space out and miss nothing. (Until they don't want you to miss what's happening when they take it away)
#elmike pacing#stranger things#THAT'S how they uninvested people I GET IT NOW#they didn't give them plots#they just pretended to#first watch#but i vividly remember when they broke up thinking it was super satisfying but i'd stay onboard with the ship because i knew they would get#back together#consistently every viewer knew exactly what was going to happen#in season 4 i was hopeful for lum@x but not certain#which made me all the more invested#if it's gonna happen whether you want it to or not then when you want it to there's no further reason to shout at your tv for it to hapoen#you can sit back#you can take a nap#trusting that when you wake uo it will have happened#you are approving but uninvested because the outcome is obvious#why? because you have been (supposedly) given all information on both sides#and the characters have as well#so there's no intrigue#el knew mike wanted her back#mike knew she didnt because she hadnt gotten back together with him despite knowing he wanted to#okay so we're literally just sitting here then#the duffer brothers#subversion#elmike season 3#narrative analysis
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you ever think about how a choice that wasn’t even really a choice for fearne, but her being the only one with the ability to perform the ritual that made it her* choice as everyone around her buckled to try to help her out of that situation and the ramifications of that choice that she had scarred her so deeply that now she is terrified of making another mistake that will dramatically affect the people around her who she loves, and then when another situation followed, she was led into a situation that she did not want to be a part of, but under the veil of friendship reluctantly assisted and it blew up literally once again, took that overwhelming burden of guilt and while her friends stood by and once more let her be alone in her guilt and scarred her further.
now it feels like she can’t make any choice for herself, she can’t make any move because that will ultimately inevitably lead to her making a mistake and all of her precious friends will look down at her in disappointment and that there is not a single friend amongst them who has the emotional wherewithal to what’s happening with how fearne has changed and how she is shutting in on herself and how she is slowly imploding breaking at the seams because she’s being lost in the sea of guilt and no one else notices and no one else sees that she feels like she can’t do anything anymore from the smallest carefree little action that has no plot repercussions to a character centered decision that is integral to her own character arc that has been in the works for her character since the campaign’s conception
now she can’t even say anything, and if fearne does have an idea to do something. She quietly mutters it, and if they hear her they hear her enough to respond that ehhh that's not a good plan and that’s not gonna work and we’re not gonna do that. We’re gonna do this and fearne being fearne, trusting in her friends and doubting herself to the point of despair will nod her head that they were right and then we go on with our day until the next moment happens where she wants to think of something, she wants to do something, and it’s dismissed as the silly dumb fearne not thinking, that She has her own thoughts and feelings, and drives and desires but because she is drowning in doubt and drowning in guilt, She freezes up and doesn’t move and everyone around her just pushes her on, and even in the moment where she is faced with the situation that she is terrified of undertaking, and she is terrified of becoming a Nightmare version of herself her friends push her forward, her friends dust off her shoulders say your doubt is misplaced, and don’t worry about it and you need to do this, it should be you. This is for you.
They just completely dismiss and ignore her when she actually does speak up so what does that do? that means that she remains silent. She doubts herself more. She even more will only make a decision if it’s signed off by all these fucking people around her who claim to be her friends. she can’t even move without frantically looking to people around her for confirmation that that’s a good idea she’s not gonna fuck up. Everything about her that was supposed to be free and fun and sweet has just rendered her into a character who feels like they have as much agency as characters who would be absent for the majority of the campaign.
shes been so chained up by doubt and so chained up by guilt and hesitation and fear that she just is a person who affirms everyone else’s desires and ideas because what she wants will inevitably end up being horrible and everyone will hate her for it and they’ll leave
and it’s like if they deem fearne even capable enough to be the vessel she will leap at the chance to be useful and to be told her path and it’s like. fearne was ruidusborn first. how has this campaign done such a disservice to her character that the only thing fearne is certain of is that she doesn’t really matter. she’s a ruidusborn and holds a primordial titan of fire inside her, and she still believes she doesn’t really count are you kidding me
#i sit on fearne’s arc being shot in the head right as it was finally taking off for a week and then i snap#the best part about getting angry over fearne is that it does not matter 👁️👄👁️#i’d love to imagine a conversation will happen of emotional substance for fearne but I’m tired of kicking footballs#it doesn’t MATTER how it makes you feel what matters is our objective#anyway fearne starring in the next bard’s lament because hey she’s just a funny ditzy bimbo who is here to french everyone#ever think about how fearne had just been killed and everyone looked for her to make the decision which friend to keep dead#i do find it rather hysterical that if you put this information in every other character’s tent there’d be rightful irritation#but if it’s in the dumb hot chick’s tent then it’s being unreasonable for wanting her character to be allowed to fucking matter#(wild that THIS is my 12k post)#(the trick to finding out whether fearne consented to something is if she said I Don't Want To then I Think that means she didn't)
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If i see one more person spread “news” sourced to outlets like f1-insider… please actually pay attention to sources and use critical thought about where it came from. these accounts want their engagement numbers and will share information derived from a fucking reddit comment if they think it’ll earn them a few extra dollars. there’s always an off chance these bullshit tabloids are right, but they almost never are, and a legitimate source will come along if there’s any whisper of truth to it. i just beg of people to simply wait for sources with the slightest bit of credibility to their name before they start sharing information.
#i want christian fired as much as the next person but i’m going to at least wait for an even remotely real source to hint at it first#also wanna clarify upfront#this isn’t an indirect. i haven’t even scrolled my dash today#i always fear a moot will read this and feel called out when its not about them. this is just my entire twitter timeline lol#so it’s a frustration derived from there#drives me up a fucking wall. critical thought is in the toilet.#misinformation is dangerous#and it takes like 40 replies before a single person points out the source#and then theyll be like ‘could be fake but what if its true 🤯’#like oh my goooooood yeah what IF its true? thatd be crazy. but it’s almost certainly not#so why are you wasting time sitting around sharing stories that some person just invented to get clicks?#if it IS true then a real publication with legit sources and verification methods will post it#at least wait for that bare minimum#keep information from bullshit places like f1-insider to gossip in a group chat if you wanna discuss it#*
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When you have to take off your socks to change into clean socks and your bare feet touch the floor for exactly fifteen seconds and the dry, smooth sensation makes you want to chop your toes off
#It’s awful#I used to think short carpet was bad but vinyl flooring is the literal WORST#They should make socks that are lined with a rubbery nubby texture for people with sensory issues and/or allodynia#who find light or sliding contact painful and need deep pressure to function#This is why my grandma always wore her penny loafers— even in the hospital bed#I know what you were grandma#I KNOW you#She knew the lyrics to every song ever from 1890–1980 and would spontaneously burst into song if something you said reminded her of a song#And her mother used to sit down and read the dictionary for fun and was essentially a walking encyclopedia#despite dropping out of school at a young age because she just absorbed everything she could find#My aunt talks really really fast and for a really long time and constantly crochets to keep her hands busy#and according to my mom would rock in a rocking chair for hours and hours#All of my uncles and my mom are slightly socially awkward and take LOONG pauses between words sometimes#and something about their neutral facial expressions is “off” and guess who else looks “off” when I’m not purposefully grandiose#Moi [frames face with hands]#me#I can’t quite put my finger on it but I look a little too “dreamy” and like a fish out of water simultaneously#Like “the lights are off but someone is definitely in there watching and it’s kind of creeping me out”#And I will also read the dictionary for fun and I also happen to be a walking encyclopedia#Right now I’m into herbalism and mushrooms and psychotropic substances so I will recite paragraphs of information unsolicited#about any of those things#I guess it’s a branch off my main interest in psychology and human biology
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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head hurty
#was up so fucking late last night stressed out of my mind#cause it turns out all the stress and sacrifices i made for the foundational course i took??#all for fucking nothing#''the waitlist hasn't moved.'' yeah cause y'all brought in way more foundations students#than u actually had the diploma course space for#and like. theres nothing else i can fucking do.#if i try to get into a university i'd have to do something like a foundations course all over again#and have to do a bunch of shit i have no interest/talent in in order to get to the stuff i DO have interest/talent in#which is just fucking stupid. why the fuck is it set up like that.#if i'm trying to get into a uni creative writing course why the FUCK do i need to take SCIENCE#and i can't do online courses that are just writing. cause i can't fucking FOCUS in an online course#and any other course i might be interested in are in schools that are too damn far away and that i cant afford#so basically. i can do fucking nothing.#but once i tell my parents that the waitlist hasn't moved and that im definitely not gonna make it in#they're going to start HOUNDING me. even more than they already constantly do#im gonna have to sit through 3 hours of them yelling at me to ''stop pretending to be an idiot'#and to ''pull my life together''#and that ''everyone has to do stuff they don't like sometimes''#(yeah well my brain doesn't work like that. if i dont like the subject of the course i literally CAN'T LEARN)#(i will just straight up not retain any of the information and just be annoyed and stressed and upset the whole time)#and my parents will tell me im gonna end up living under a bridge for the thousandth time#and then they'll threaten to kick me out of the house/take away my internet for the millionth time#and then this will happen every day until i get into SOMETHING
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i don't know if this could be considered a reactionary or anti-intellectual sentiment or something, but does anyone ever have the experience of wanting to consume older media (and by older i mean like pre-2010s) specifically bc you don't really want to deal with endless discourse around it? and when i say this, i don't necessarily just mean negative or critical discourse, but also like obsessive fan discourse that discusses every single little detail from every possible angle and has even created micro-discourse about those specific analyses.
like, for example, i'm thinking of challengers, which is a movie i really enjoyed and which i do mostly enjoy engaging in discussion and analysis about, and which for the most part seems to have been received positively, but there's something i find so exhausting about engaging with it sometimes (and by extension a lot of contemporary media) because it feels like you are required to have a Take on it. i'm also thinking about all those articles from like vulture or variety or whatever that are titled things like "we need to talk about THAT scene" and all the stan accounts and it's just like............idk i wish we could just let the art BREATHE sometimes, you know? not everything NEEDS to be discussed to death....
and like...this isn't to say that there was never tons of discourse around older media (DEFINITELY not lol) but, i guess, because there was no social media back then and no algorithm to track your movements online and to put its finger on the scale occasionally and no endless content slop machine and people's attention spans weren't totally zonked, it feels like it was less............omnipresent? idk i guess the point i'm trying to make is i wish we as a culture could just let works of art just like.......exist and breathe for just a little while before we launch into our Hot Takes
#i do think this is tangentially related to the phenomenon of binge watching vs releasing episodes a week at a time#tbh i think the reason why releasing episodes a week at a time tends to produce less annoying discourse#(at least imo) is that it kind of forces you to just sit with each episode for a while and digest it#and also everyone has the same amount of information about the story (meaning not all of it)#so it forces you to be a little more conservative (not in the political sense) with your takes#idk this is just something i've been thinking about......#social media#fandom#text
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intergenerational friendships are completely normal and the shift in thinking that we should only be friends with people from our age group is limiting vs i am a young feminine person and he is an older man and there are creepy people in the world who are good at pretending to be friendly and innocent so am I going to die, a rational essay
#quil's unholy underworld#am I being overly anxious or am I being cautious. the question haunting me#we have a class together and sit near each other#and so we've chatted and are friendly#however. we did meet up to chat outside of class today and he invited to take me to a movie#of my choice. somewhere#haven't figured out details yet#I could choose a time with a lot of other people. and others would be fully informed of my plans#i am getting up in my own head about it#he's given me zero indication so far to be suspicious. but also I know people don't just come out of the gate about it#so AM i reading into things to much#or am I not#OUGH
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Help me design a dress!
this is our fabric! (left is the product image, right is my actual piece of fabric- ruler on the left is cm, on the right is inches, to give you an idea of print scale) its the black version of the break up robe print, in a lightweight & crisp cotton. i have 4.5m (5y) so it should be enough to make most designs, though some will require consideration in the cutting- we will get to that later though. (the fabric is also narrow, i think its only 110cm wide. (its still folded in the picture))
my goal here is to make a comfy wearable dress, something pretty casual & everyday in silhouette, but i would also like if it was possible to style up for a more formal look. most of my inspiration for this project has come from 1950s dresses, because thats a style i lean towards for myself, though im not aiming for anything "true vintage" or anything. im also fond of lolita dresses, so im more than down to draw inspiration from those also!
also, the print is pretty bold compared to my usual style, so ive considered doing some kind of translucent (chiffon, tulle, mesh) overlay to tone it down so its more wearable in my wardrobe. this will entirely depend on it working with out final design, and even then, ill offer you the decision at the end! ultimately, i still want to be able to appreciate the fabric. (for sewing people: id intend to do it as a flat lining, so it sits right up against the fabric underneath, not as a complete separate layer. i find this makes it block out the design slightly less) doing this could also help with adding structure to the dress, which i already think some designs might need, considering how thin the fabric is.
ok now the brief is out of the way, onto the first decision for the dress: the shape of the skirt. if you want to vote based entirely on vibes, feel free to click away, but i have included some more writing about each option & its ups and downs in this particular project under the cut (also pictures of each style if youre not so familar with what they are!)
& the propaganda for the options:
Circle skirt: you can never go wrong with a circle skirt- theyre probably my favourite to wear overall & i especially like the low bulk join to the waist as i sometimes find things with gathers dont sit as nicely on me. the way circle skirts are cut also gives them a movement that the other two methods simply cannot compete with in my eyes.
The main downside is working a circle skirt with this particular fabric. the fabric is not wide enough to cut the entire front as one, so i would either need a centre front seam or to make it a 3/4 circle skirt- something im 100% ok with, i honestly find at midi length a full circle to be too much sometimes. (there is technically the option to have full circle but rotate it so the seams are at side, but that might then mean i have to do some shenanigans with where the fastenings go). also, because the design is directional, each quarter will need to be cut so the seams end up on the bias, which makes for an Incredibly inefficient cutting layout. (again, if theres a CF seam, thatll be on the diagonal of the design, which really defeats the point of putting in the effort in the first place, to me.) i think i would be able to get all the panels i need out of the piece of fabric i have, but i think i would be a bit more limited with top options as i try to make sure to use as many of the small pieces left over as possible.
Gathered skirt: these are by far the easiest to do in terms of sewing. in my research into casual 50's dresses about 90% of all pictures i saw featured a dress with a gathered skirt (or actually, a lot seemed to have tiny pleats that give the effect of gathers, like the coral one. if we vote this way, i would be tempted to go try them as i think it might solve my bothers with gathered skirts in general)
i generally find gathered skirts less flattering on me- they add bulk at the waist and then hang straight down off the hips (when not puffed up with a petticoat) and thats generally not something i like on myself. i could improve that though by bringing more fabric in to increase the hem, and adding horsehair braid to the hem to help it swoop without additional support (again, my goal for this project is causal day dress)
this pattern uses the least fabric i think, depending on how much you put in the skirt- i think i should get a perfectly satisfactorily full skirt from this with less than 2m of fabric used. (honestly might end up too efficient- id like to use up all the fabric i have in this, and i really dont need that much for a bodice. i can see myself adding 4, even 5 widths into the skirt to use up yardage. i dont particularly see that as a problem though)
despite my reservations because of gathered skirts ive made before, for this project it does have one massive point in its favour: the fact that its still a full piece of fabric. all other styles here all cut quite significantly into the design to create their shape, while this be one panel of the fabric from edge to edge. preserving the design of this fabric is pretty high on my priority list, after all, i bought this fabric specifically because it was the OFMD break up robe print. i want whatever design i make to work with that.
Tiered skirt: for me, tiered skirts are the best of both worlds in terms of the effect they give. the fact each layer doubles means they keep some of the swish a circle skirt gives (and, i find, they tend to have more of the A-Line shape of a circle skirt too) while not being quite so consuming of fabric as you cut. i couldnt find many examples of 50's dresses with them (though i did find some) so i do feel like this style pulls more towards the style of lolita dresses & that might be reflected in the options i offer in subsequent rounds.
if you know anything about petticoats, then youll notice that this style of skirt is essentially the same construction as them (though petticoats often introduce extra layers and ruffles and.....) when ive made this style of skirt in the past i have found that it holds volume much like a petticoat does, without the need for an extra undergarment- something thats great for a casual dress!
I was thinking three tiers is the ideal number for this dress, though i could make it only two. i dont think i would make it more as, if i keep them even (which was my intention, though i am also fond of the styles that increase with each tier like my example images) then each tier will probably be 20cm wide, which is already looking like itll cut into the features of the design. i think that is the single biggest downside for this style- i wont reasonably be able to do much 'fussy cutting' either to work with the print, its simply not practical to do on this scale.
At a rough estimate, i think this is gonna use 3m of fabric in the skirt, which puts it slap bang in the middle in terms of fabric efficiency. i should have plenty enough to do it, maybe even to increase it if i want to, while still being pretty unlimited about what i do with the rest of the design.
one last thing- trim! one unique feature of this design is the opportunity to play with trim on the skirt itself. i do have some bodice ideas that play around with trim, and it would be really nice to introduce it into the skirt too, if we go that way. it could even be a fun nod to the piping on the original break up robe!!!!
Something else (comment): while doing my research i came across SO MANY design ideas that i could play around with. for this poll i picked the three i thought would probably work the best for this project, but i wanted an opportunity for you to yell at me if you want something different entirely. feel free to suggest anything you like, but ive included a couple images as examples of styles i saw a lot. i especially saw a lot like on the left, with gathering or ruffles off to the side, but the front panel being pretty flat. this might be real fun for some designs like shirtdresses, but im not super confident on how itd look on me. either way, feel free to form a coalition in the replies to tell me how i totally should have offered you this one particular option.
(if you vote for this but dont comment, im discounting it from the overall stats as i have no idea what design you mean! your welcome to send it in on anon if that bothers you, but either way, ill need a description :P )
#i promise the rest of the posts for this wont be nearly this long#i just had a lot to say about the project over all#and i have a lot of thoughts about the skirt shape. i think itll set the tone for the rest of the project so i wanna make sure yall are#informed about my thoughts into all of this#also i just. have a lot i sit there at work and think about this all day long and so i think of a lot of things i want to make note of#but i think i have a lot less to say in future polls. i do not prommy that they will be SHORT tho this is my happy zone#this is 1500 words btw. that is too many for sewing posting. even for me. (i could have written more)#im not reading it over again you can take it as it is and we will both hope its ok#sewing#design#crafting#dress making#pattern making#polls#vintage fashion#sewist#all images sourced from pinterest & most seem to be originally vintage reselling images#you spend long enough staring at these for research n you pick up the style pretty quick#(1 day poll is intended btw)
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bad day all around 👎🏻
#first of all i thought i was gonna faint right in front of my coworker speaking to me earlier this morning#like i had to basically take items stocked on the very top of the shelves and put them on the shelves and i guess im not that okay with#heights bc i was pretty afraid of being so high up the ladder + having to handle glass bottles#so i guess that made me start sweating a lot i was so hot and then my heart started beating so fast i thought i needed to sit down right#there lmaooo my face have been so red 😭😭#anyway im fine now my legs just feel a bit weak still but 👍🏻#and then i got an email that my order for the camera i was looking forward to was cancelled and reimbursed bc the address was wrong#(it wasn't i just forgot to specify the province but like. that's also in the zip code?? but like ok my bad. couldn't you have informed me#before placing the order though. or before cancelling it.....) anyways now the price went up by 10€ and it's not that much but like....#it's the principle hdjfjfjfj idk it was upsetting bc i was looking forward to it being shipped today so 😓#plus it's been raining so hard#at least from Sunday i have a week off💆🏻♀️
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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edgar's mc is literally me. i dont know how i feel about this.
#shes like “im not smart enough to manipulate people”#“hes taking care of me so i want to help him bc i hate just sitting around”#“sweets are a totally acceptable thing to eat wtf you guys”#“i dont want to rely on him for information because i actually want to be helpful to him”#“ok if he wants to tease me i will (unsuccessfully) tease him BACK”#auburn talks ikerev <3
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