#I swear to god this manga will give me health issues

[zaerxa]

Oh take me back (to the night we met)

[kelluinox]

Well, I read snk 139. And regret it.

1) Soooo right off the bat we have Armin and his condescending patronizing. Why am I not surprised. Sure, let's blame Eren for being fucking idiots and demand that he apologize to a girl who molested his corpse. Eren should've kicked Armin more.

2) FINALLY Armin gets it. FINALLY. Intelligent character you say? Judging by how long it took him to realize what Eren was doing - I think not.

3) God I don't like this narrative of keeping your humanity. I really don't. Season 1 conveyed a completely different idea.

4) ........ Well there goes any respect I had for Isayama. Ymir was in love with Karl Fritz?!? Stockholm syndrome much?!? That is not a pure emotion!! What the fuck?!? There are so many things wrong with this, I can't even—

5) Wait does this confirm that Eren didn't know about that disgusting kiss?!? Now I feel even more sick. And seriously, seeing Mikasa force herself on a disembodied head convinced Ymir to abandon Fritz and cured her of her Stockholm Syndrome??? How???

6) So Eren did send Dina after his mom to put himself on a certain path to save Paradis? Damn, that's brutal and heartbreaking at the same time. Imagine having to sacrifice your own mother in order to save your people. My heart...

7) Okay, I will seriously fight Armin now. MIKASA ISN'T OWED SHIT AND NEITHER ARE YOU AFTER THE WAY YOU'VE TREATED EREN FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THIS MANGA. And just because Mikasa risked her life to save Eren's (although he never asked her to) he is under no obligation to return her feelings so fuck off. I swear to God Armin has to be one of the most hypocritical and unlikeable characters in SNK by now.

8) ......... Please tell me I'm hallucinating. Isayama don't do this to me. Don't ruin Eren this way, I'm begging you. Making him a lovesick possessive idiot?! Are you serious?!

9) IT'S FUCKING GRISHA! I KNEW IT! But I also can't feel happy because I'm hating this conversation so much. So thanks.

10) Finally Eren gets some fucking gratitude. But Armin will let this conversation go to waste. That much has already been shown.

11) Well, 138 was fucking pointless. Thanks for nothing, Isayama.

12) This is so cheesy and stupid I just can't help but laugh, oh my god. Who wrote these dialogues?? Everybody fucking crying and praising Eren? "What a man you are" PFFFFFT. This is so stupid it has become comedic.

13) And the promotion of unhealthy relationships continues as Annie embraces the man who abused her her entire life.

14) And here we have the survivors talking to the dead in a happy ending. Can this get any more cliche? Someone please kill me now. End my suffering.

15) Fuck Karina. She doesn't get to apologize or demand Reiner to stay with her. I know several abusive mothers and they all deserved to have their asses abandoned by their children. All of them. I've supported several friends with mother issues, I know what I'm talking about.

16) Can Mikasa stop touching Eren's head? If anyone has to carry him, let it be Armin. Stalker kasa is giving me the heebie-jeebies. I feel like I need to wash my hands every time I see her, I feel so dirty and disgusted.

17) And Marley are pointing their guns again. Siiigh. Why did the Alliance save these guys again?

18) What does it fucking matter?!?! Wasn't the entire point of your speech before the Alliance arrived that you were all equal?!?! Why the hell are you asking whether they're humans or titans, thus showcasing your continued racism?!?!

19) Like hell you did Armin. Although I suppose it does make sense that he would protect his psychotic friend by claiming her 'achievement' of killing Eren as his own. God knows, her mental health is bad already. If she gets attention for killing Eren she just might go on a beheading spree, kissing everyone she kills on the way.

20) Okay, Historia and her child are so cute. Gaaaah. Even though I so far hate everything about this, I'm saving this panel of Historia holding her little girl. I'm not made of stone. But also thanks for officially making Historia irrelevant after setting up so much.

21) Great. The Rumbling is pointless. Eldia is forming a military now. The survivors of the world probably will too. Nobody learned their fucking lesson and this endless fighting will continue. Just peachy.

22) My god everyone is a parody of themselves now. Tell me this entire chapter is a late April Fools' joke. Reiner lusting after Historia... Sure, he did that in Season 1, but it wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now.

23) Historia putting people who betrayed her country under protection... Wow. That's definitely what a good leader does. I guess if my country ever gets betrayed during a war, it should definitely forgive and protect the traitors that could've brought about its destruction. Totally.

24) Can Mikasa please get some medication already? Her psychosis is getting worse.

25) Eren is now a bird? Or at least controlling it from 'beyond the grave'? Symbolism has always flown over my head, I'll admit. And yes, I realize that this is also a callback to his promise after Hannes' death. But I guess this is confirmation that Mikasa will now live with that scarf around her neck, dreaming about Eren to the end of her days and never truly moving on. What a great character arc that is.

Maybe I'll rant about this chapter more later on, but these are my thoughts so far. I didn't expect anything good, but I'm somehow disappointed anyway, so I guess Isayama can consider that an achievement on his part.

[robinchan-hananomi]

One Piece 1023

I have a lot of thoughts here about the new chapter. There is a lot of things to unpack here!

So first, things I loved! I absolutely loved Zoro and Sanji’s dynamic in this chapter. Yes, the two were bickering a bit but honestly it felt like their comments were more to reassure each other than anything. Zoro immediately noticed that something was wrong with Sanji and Sanji responded honestly, that his body has felt funny ever since using the raid suit a second time. Zoro probes to see just how deep the concern is, asking if Sanji is going to slow him down, and Sanji’s answer seems to reassure him enough that he almost jokes, teasing Sanji about his eyebrows. One the flip side Sanji knows better than almost anyone just what kind of shape Zoro is in right now. They both look out for each other and they tease each other during the start of this fight, but it is mostly them being more like ‘look asshole, I know you’re trying to see what the extent of the damage is but I swear I am fine enough to knock this son of a bitch out’.

And make no mistake, Zoro and Sanji are probably going to have a lot of physical issues after this chapter. Sanji mentions that his body is feeling weird. This could be anything from the raid suit being intentionally designed to hurt Sanji to his body just not being able to cope with the strain the new technology is putting on him. The mink doctor also just reminded Chopper that while Zoro is up now, he won’t be for long and that he doesn't even want to imagine what kind of shape Zoro is going to be at the end of the fight. No matter how Wano shakes out, Zoro and Sanji are going to be hurting and will require some serious rest and TLC.

After Sanji and Zoro face off against King and Queen, we also get a small moment for the opponents to communicate. On Queen and Sanji’s side, Queen talks about how Judge experimented on his children and questions the validity of Sanji’s claim of being completely human since he can light his body on fire. Sanji admits he’s probably just that dramatic. On the other side Zoro notes King’s unorthodox fighting and when King points out there is no need to follow technique and method in combat, Zoro agrees and reminds King there really isn’t anything preventing Zoro from ripping out King’s throat with his teeth.

Now Zoro and Sanji are only able to fight King and Queen in peace due to Hyogoro and Kawamatsu’s efforts. Kawamatsu prevented a Beast Pirate from taking a shot at Zoro and Hyogoro explains that anyone who tries to help either side at this point would just be in the four combatants way. While they watch the fight, they comment about Zoro.

The thing is, Zoro has been connected to the Shimotsuki Clan from the start. Zoro’s hometown is Shimotsuki Village. In the SBS corner, Oda explained that the village was founded about 55 years ago by Shimotsuki Kozaburo, the man who forged Wado Ichimonji and Enma. Kozaburo’s son Koshiro ran the Isshin Dojo, which used the Shimotsuki Clan crest as it’s symbol and Zoro had worn that crest his entire childhood. Koshiro’s daughter Kuina was Zoro’s best friend and rival. Then Zoro met and fought Shimotsuki Ryuma, whose family name was again confirmed in the SBS corner. More on Ryuma in a minute. Ever since Zoro has entered Wano, he has been even more connected to the Shimotsuki Clan. The Clan had two Daimyo’s that we know of, Ushimaru and Yasuie. Zoro has spent a lot of time in Ringo, Ushimaru’s territory, and even combated with Ushimaru’s retainer Onimaru a few times now for Ryuma’s sword Shusui. On the other side Zoro befriended Yasuie and his daughter Toko. While all the strawhats were seen to be fond of Toko and quite a few met Yasuie, Zoro spent the majority of time with him.

Now as for Ryuma. Ever since the Monsters oneshot was tied to the One Piece Manga, fans had noticed the similarities between Zoro and Ryuma. The two look very alike in appearance and they had many similar mannerisms. They also have the connection of sharing a sword, Shusui, and both decapitated a dragon in the air. And now, apparently, Ryuma had lost an eye in his adventures and was known as a one eyed swordsman...which I mean his zombie did have a scar on his face that would have gone over his right eye along with bandages covering his right eye so it’s not really a surprise.

The two citizens of Wano comment that Ushimaru is a direct descendant of Ryuma and note that Zoro has a similar appearance and style of fighting to Ushimaru and by extension Ryuma. Now if this is because Zoro is somehow part of the Shimotsuki Clan (which I actually kind of hope not), or if it is just a coincidence about appearance and the other similarities are because Zoro trained at a dojo from the Shimotsuki Clan is still up in the air. Either way, I really do like the idea of developing Zoro more and I have been waiting for someone, anyone, in the manga to finally notice just how much Zoro seems to be connected to this family.

Anyway, back to the chapter! While Zoro and Sanji keep two of the three calamities busy, we see there is a LOT of other things going on. I’m not going to go in order of the rest of the chapter because I want to organize my thoughts a little.

So first, which is actually the last thing to happen, is Momo is now 28 years old. He has Shinobu turn him into an adult because he can only do so much as an eight year old. It is a fantastic way to follow the panels of the battle that came before it, because we see the samurai are willing to die to bring about an age where Kaido’s reign has ended and Momo’s time can start. They believe that Momo will bring Oden’s will and bring Wano to a wonderful future, they believe it so much that they are willing to die for it. Momo answers that belief by giving up twenty years of his life. Understand while twenty years have passed for everyone else, it hasn’t for Momo. Momo just had Shinobu mature his body by twenty years in order to get stronger, bigger, and be able to take a stand against Kaido. There is going to be a lot of issues in the future with having an eight year old in a twenty eight year old man’s body, but just like Zoro and quite possibly Sanji’s physical health; this is a bridge to cross when we get to it. After all everyone has to survive the battle and win before they can worry about what is next. So now as a much bigger and stronger dragon, Momo and Luffy can go face Kaido together.

On a side note with everyone talking about being ghosts and all, it’s kinda fitting that it is implied that Momo looks like Oden. Now we really will have people think they’re seeing ghosts.

We also have Inu and Neko fighting Jack and Big Mom’s son. These fights are not just about defeating Kaido either. There is an element of revenge to them both. As Inu sends Jack through a wall, he expresses recalls all the pain Jack brought to the people of Zou. Just like Neko talks about Pedro while fighting. And yet the two talk about how everything they lost, all that they suffered through, was all part of the road to get there, now, to bring Kaido and his Beast Pirates to an end. And the two are using their badass Sulong Form.

The last big note for this chapter is Marco’s memory of his discussion with Whitebeard. It is implied that King’s race are the Lunarian, and that King is the last one. They lived up on the Red Line in a long ago past. Marco recalls Whitebeard talking about how it was ‘God’s Land’ which is honestly giving me super Skypeia vibes. What exactly is this God’s Land?

Because we hadn’t talked too much of the Red Line, I for whatever reason, always imagined other people living up there. We knew the Celestial Dragons lived on the Red Line, but because it is like a long continent of linked together islands I just naturally assumed other races and beings lived up there. That doesn't appear to be the case. Which to be fair I am a fool for even thinking that because now that it’s put that way I realize a group so pompous and self important as the Celestial Dragons would never allow anyone so lowly as normal people to live so high in the world as they do. So they enjoy their life in the clouds while driving any peoples and race either off the Red Line or to extinction.

Marco brings up the old conversation to Izo, after the latter saves him for drifting off in a battle, and Izo says Marco sounds like Whitebeard when he was drunk. Whitebeard was part of the Rocks Pirates, the Pirate crew that shook the world to it’s core almost a whole generation before Roger even appeared. Whitebeard has seen some real shit. I wonder just what all Whitebeard knew about the world, and I wonder just how much he tried to impart on his children only for them to think he was drunkenly rambling?

Anyway, it was a fantastic chapter and I am so freaking excited to see where we go next!!!

[courtingstars]

Notes for The Vanishing Prince, Chapter Six

Whew, I can’t believe I’m FINALLY posting Chapter Six… I’m going to keep the notes fairly short this time, because I feel like I’ve already rambled a lot about this fic? //laughs Plus I don’t have as much to say in terms of background info about this chapter, since it was mostly focused on the character interactions.

That being said, I did update my Pinterest board for the new chapter! So I’ll go ahead and include some links to a couple of my favorite visuals, for those of you who don’t have an account there.

Cut for some rambling about the layout of the Akashi estate, Oreshi’s past struggles with depression and suicidal ideation, and more Kyoto sightseeing…

Rooms in the Akashi Estate in Kyoto

I introduced the tatami room where the Akashi family relics are stored in the previous chapter, but I didn’t really include any visuals… So for anyone curious about what the room might look like, I included some examples of extravagant traditional rooms here and here. Both those images also show what the painted murals on traditional Japanese doors look like. (Though I didn’t find any that had the specific flowers in the fic!)

Meanwhile, I couldn’t find a perfect visual for what the observatory at the top of the tower looks like in my head… But I did like the general layout of the room in this photo. (I also added a bunch of photos of secret passages and spooky stairs to the board as well. Though I tried not to pin anything too creepy? //laughs)

Also, I’m sure a lot of people know what chess tables look like, but this and this were some of my favorite examples I found!

The Grounds of the Estate

I did manage to find a few visuals to represent the grounds of the Akashi estate… My favorites are probably the photos of super-fancy horse stables like this, this, and this. (And if you do have a Pinterest, definitely check out the pins of mood lighting in stables/barns. //laughs)

Also, I’ve mentioned before that both Akashi mansions have Western style architecture. In this chapter, we discover that there’s also an abandoned Japanese style estate on the Kyoto grounds, on the edge of a mountain forest. I imagined that those buildings would roughly resemble something like this or this.

Yukimaru’s Groom

This is just a random side note to mention that the name I chose for Yukimaru’s groom, Umagami, can apparently be spelled wth the kanji for “uma” and “kami,” a.k.a. “horse god”… Which I just found really perfect? //laughs

Akashi and Depression

(Content warning for discussion of depression and suicidal ideation.)

I won’t go into a lot of detail about this, but I did want to mention that I’ve been foreshadowing one element that was included in this chapter for a while:

“He wanted to disappear, you know. During the whole Teikou fiasco. To stop existing altogether. I’m not sure anyone else understood that part.”

Way back in The Fast Train to Kyoto, Akashi—specifically Oreshi—was still struggling with his recent return to living his daily life, and general feelings of isolation and depression. At one point, when he was out riding Yukimaru in the woods, he thought this:

“The more he rode, the emptier Akashi felt. He wanted this. To leave everything else behind, to chase after this nothingness and cling to it, until all the most painful parts of himself simply fell away. No longer feeling. No grieving the past, or wishing for things he couldn’t have.

He longed, more than anything else, to disappear…

“How long had he been riding Yukimaru, letting his thoughts wander? Wishing he could vanish into nothing, or drown in some nameless void, like the rippling waves that stretched before them? …

“He’d even disappeared before. Very much literally. He had only been back for a few months…Was he already fantasizing about doing it again?”

I’ve long felt that Oreshi’s choice to let Bokushi take over, was about a lot more than him giving up on being the captain of Teikou’s basketball team… I also interpret it as him, in a very real way, giving up on life for a while. The manga implies that Oreshi actively chose to stay inside his own mind during this period, and that he could have taken over for Bokushi whenever he wanted. Instead, he hid from the outside world for over two years.

To me, that suggests that Oreshi was struggling to find a reason to keep existing, at least in the way he was before. And I think it’s fair to hypothesize that he could have been experiencing some form of suicidal ideation… Especially since there’s a misconception that being suicidal only means having actively violent thoughts, and doesn’t include a more general sense of not wanting to live anymore. But those kinds of thoughts are really serious, and a strong indicator that a person is struggling. They can also lead to more active forms of suicidal ideation, so it’s important to recognize them for what they are.

(Which I can attest to, and that’s one reason why I chose to include them in the story… I wasn’t as open about my own mental health struggles when I started this series, or as aware of them. But it’s definitely a major reason why the series has come to mean so much to me as I’ve worked on it.)

I also wanted to include this interpretation because it’s unfortunately very common for people who have dissociative disorders to struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts… So I felt it made sense for Akashi’s character, and it was important to me to show him trying to work through those issues.

Nishiki Market

During this chapter, Akashi takes Furihata to another famous Kyoto spot, Nishiki Market. (I swear before this series is over, I’m going to use every single interesting place in this city as a backdrop? //laughs) The market is extremely popular with both tourists and locals, and it has a wide variety of Japanese foods and food-related items.

I included some pretty pictures on the Pinterest board, but if you want to get an even better idea of the setting and what it’s like to eat there, I highly recommend checking out this YouTube video, and this one!

Also, the soy milk doughnuts are real. (As pictured here and here.) From what I could tell in my research, the place that sells them—named Konnamonja—has indeed been around long enough for Akashi to have eaten them when he was little!

I also briefly mentioned some other Kyoto landmarks, like the Kamogawa river (or Kamo River, since “gawa” means river) and the Teramachi shopping district. Teramachi has an interesting blend of modern stores and arcades and antique shops, including bookstores like this one. (And I’ll probably talk more about the dining platforms on the river in the notes for the next chapter!) 

Well, that’s all for my notes this time around! I’m trying to put as much time as I can into finishing this series. For anyone who is still keeping up with the story, thank you as always, for reading and for your patience. I’m very excited to share the rest of the story with you, as soon as I possibly can. <3

[missmeikakuna]

Chad and the Incel Chapter 9

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

9th Post: [Venting] She’s not my friend

Chad looked up the term ‘trap’ and, amongst the discussion on how hot these anime characters were, he found some YouTube videos on why the word was offensive.

He messaged Noah on his phone, using terms he wasn’t used to using and concepts he wasn’t used to tackling.

So is this ‘trap’ thing just for crossdressing guys? Apparently people call transgenders or whatever that word. The transgenders don’t seem to like it or something like that. Do you know about this?

Noah didn’t reply, focusing on writing more posts and comments on the forum. Chad read through each post as well as some by other users and sent Noah the occasional phone message, causing Noah’s eyebrows to twitch in anger.

A lot of people are posting stuff on that forum about killing themselves. They keep mentioning ‘suicide fuel’. You okay?

Woah, someone just posted about wanting a handy from his mom. The fuck? You’re not like that, right?

Why are girl incels banned? I feel like if a dude incel and a chick incel met they could be together and stop being incels. 

Hey, why didn’t you tell me I’m annoying? And I’m not a liar about being a virgin before we did it. I swear to God.

Noah sent Chad one message before exiting the forum.

If you don’t leave me the fuck alone I’m changing my username and never talking to you ever again. 

At school over the next few days, Noah ignored the talkative Chad.

In the morning Chad said, ‘So, I watched an episode of one of those anime and it was pretty good. It was Cowboy somethingarather. Some website recommended it. I was surprised that there was a black chick in it. I thought anime characters were all white or something. Have you seen this show?’

While lining up in the cafeteria, Chad admitted, ‘I’m a little confused about this blackpill-redpill-bluepill thing. What’s the difference?’

As they walked to their lockers, Chad whispered, ‘Who runs that forum? It seems like chaos in there. People say all sorts of crazy stuff. I mean, feminists can be annoying and shit but I don’t think they’re running some kind of conspiracy to prevent you from getting girls.’

As they reached Noah’s locker, Chad added, ‘And some guy said that it’s over for guys with glasses because of genetics or whatever.’ He looked around to see if anyone was watching. ‘He’s gotta be joking! Glasses on guys?’ He hooked his finger into the collar of his own shirt, pulled the collar like he was in the middle of a heatwave and whistled as he tossed his head back.

Noah had to scowl at him for that, taking off his glasses for a moment just to spite him.

When the two were alone before homeroom one day, Chad kept trying to grab Noah’s hand but Noah kept pulling it away. 

‘What’s wrong?’ Chad asked. ‘No one’s around. And we’ve done more than hold hands.’

Noah bit his lip and looked away. ‘I thought we weren’t going to talk about that.’

‘Sorry. But I don’t know if I really want to forget it. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, actually, how you expected it to be this perfect thing. Did someone on that forum say it’s supposed to be like that? I don’t know how they would be experts on that since they’re incels. But, I mean, it was still fun, right? You said it was okay and that’s better than bad.’

‘Has anyone told you that you talk too much?’

 Chad laughed. ‘Not really. It’s just… I find it easy talking to you. Every time we talk I learn something new and it’s kind of exciting, learning about this incel thing. It’s like I’ve discovered this hidden underground village or something. I don’t know what it is about you.’

‘So you like me because I’m an incel?’

The smile on Chad’s face withered and died. ‘No. Oh my god, no way. I could listen to you talk about anything and I’d be interested. Your looks and that make for a deadly combo.’ He chuckled. ‘I think God did a great job creating you overall.’ His eyes widened. ‘Wait, uh, was that too much?’

Noah looked down at his hands, which were curled up on his lap. His eyes were shiny as if holding back tears.

‘Can you stop with the flattery? I know you’re probably great at flirting and attracting people, but do you really need to keep shoving it in my face? I get it, you’re so much more successful than I am. You’re soooo hot and you could have any femoid you want. Stop bragging and talking down to me.’

‘Sorry about that, but I’m not brag-’

‘Of course you are! You keep bringing up the goddamn forum and how shitty you think the people are on there. Stop trying to act like a damn knight who’s here to rescue me from inceldom. It’s patronising as fuck. And that thing about God making me is stupid. Do you seriously think some magic bearded dude in space made me? Bullshit.’

‘Oh, right, you’re an atheist. Sorry. I kind of forgot. Not that I forget other things about you! I remember a lot.’ Chad paused to collect his thoughts before spouting anything he’d regret. ‘I guess I’m kind of a Christian, though I don’t really go to Church much.’

‘Christian, huh? That explains why you’re so stupid.’

Chad stood up, his chair making an ear-piercing squeak as it was pushed backwards.

‘Hey, that’s not fair!’ He leaned down until he and Noah were the length of a nose apart. ‘Didn’t you hear what I said? Yeah, I believe in some higher power but I’m not some Bible-thumping crazy or anything like that!’

‘Really? I bet when everyone comes through this door you’ll get out of my face and act like you’re not interested in me, like a good Christian boy.’

As soon as he said that, several students entered the classroom, prompting Chad to turn away and sit back down, keeping his hands to himself.

Noah smirked at him before returning to ignoring him.

At home, Noah posted onto the forum. He hadn’t originally planned on posting that day but he had to test something.

Rotcel2003- [Venting] She’s not my friend.

I thought I’d just made a female friend but it turns out she’s not my friend. You can’t trust femoids. You’re just a placeholder until a Chad comes along.

Noah put his watch into timer mode and waited twenty seconds until the message arrived.

Who’s the girl? :( Good for you, I guess. Well, except for her being untrustworthy and shit.

Noah furiously typed one word to Chad.

Creep

He placed his phone onto his desk and collapsed onto his bed. He remembered what someone said to him on Incels.me.

Gay men are just coping incels.

The word ‘coping’ stood out to him. He had heard other incels refer to many other things as a ‘cope’: video games, watching sports and drawing to name a few. Copes were a distraction from the truth, which was that an incel like him could never truly be happy.

It took him half an hour to get out of bed and pick up the laptop. He opened the closet and carefully placed it on the floor inside it. He wanted to just drop the laptop to the ground but, cope as it was, his gaming laptop was expensive. He stacked his physical games next to the laptop. He then looked down into the closet and sighed, remembering who had been in this exact place not long ago. He shook his head. He wasn’t done yet.

He made room in his drawers, an easy task given the lack of quantity his clothing collection had. He put his anime figurines, DVDs and manga in there. He ran out of space to put the model planes in there, so he put them under his bed. He then deleted the manga reader and anime streaming apps on his phone. 

He turned his mirror around until it faced him and the image of smoke clouded his mind. His hands curled into fists and he decided to use one of those fists. Soon the small crack spread to the rest of the mirror. He wiped the blood that seeped out of his hand.

As a final touch, he ripped the posters from the wall. As he reached the lone NFL poster, he bit his lip and blinked quickly. He wasn’t going to cry over some creep. He shoved them under his bed next to the planes.

He looked around the room and noticed how plain and empty it looked. He sat on the bed and smiled at the one piece of decoration left, the cat-themed quilt.

Cope, he thought. He pulled the quilt off the bed and pushed it under the bed. He turned off the lights, slipped between the sheets and lied there, trapped between walls blackened by night. He shivered without the quilt but persevered. There was no point in doing anything that made him happy. All he could do was, as the incels say, lay down and rot.

[ais-n]

some random updates and manga commentary

I read more manga than books usually, but then don’t always say much about it because idk, usually I just have a thought or two and then move on. Sometimes I do these posts where I mention a bunch of series in one place in passing. If that sounds interesting, read on. 

But first:

I’m fucking obsessed lately with One Piece Treasure Cruise somebody stop me I have problems I already spent $10 on it help

Ok, now onto manga mentions, commentary, etc:

I bought the latest Livingstone volume (4) and was all excited to continue reading that series only to realize unexpectedly the other night that it was the end of the series. MAN. It’s been awhile since I watched Deadman Wonderland but I seem to recall feeling the same way about that as Livingstone, only maybe less dramatically so, and that’s this: the creator is the same for both series, and comes up with really interesting ideas and throws in some interesting characters. But then the story itself feels like it ends before it explores the concept as deeply as it could or should. It’s not that I recall Deadman Wonderland’s ending being terrible, and it’s not that Livingstone necessarily had a bad ending either; it’s just that I feel like it ends right as it’s developing, so some of the impact is lost on me because I feel like so much more story still should have been told.

Finally got caught up (again) on Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler and D.Gray-Man. I’m seriously getting worried about Hoshino’s health for DGM :( I’m so worried something will happen to her that is more permanent even than has happened already, and I’m also worried the series will not be able to end properly as a result. Which is really sad to me because I want Hoshino to be okay, and I want her and her readers to not have any regrets about the series itself. I wish she would get an assistant to draw for her while she dictates the story, if for no other reason than to preserve her health more, but I imagine she is hesitant to do so because she has such a beautiful art style and it has to be incredibly difficult to struggle against health issues when you know once upon a time you easily could do far more than now you struggle to achieve. It’s so sad :( I don’t want her to push her health beyond its limits. Ganbatte, Hoshino! :( As for Kuroshitsuji, I swear to god that series is simultaneously the most ridiculous and sometimes most amazing thing XD I’ve been pretty embarrassed by the whole pop star thing because idk lots of reasons, but that’s happened for me before on other arcs that have happened and it always swings its way back. Anyway regardless I love Ciel and Sebastian and everyone and YES UNDERTAKER YESSSSS. Also, it’s been cracking me up seeing how much Soma seems to be having a ball in the latest arc XD

Just realized I’m a couple chapters behind on Magi, that’s the next thing I need to catch up on. Also I need to check on Love Stage!! because it’s been months since I last looked. Yotsuba&! came out with a new chapter too! But I need to read it still. Same with a few BL manga I’m following whose names I’ve managed to briefly forget so I have to track that down to look for updates ugggh I’m real good at this lol

btw did I mention I watched the Seven Days live action movie awhile ago? Because I did. I liked it! I was worried I wouldn’t but I did. I mean, I fucking love Seven Days so that’s probably no surprise, I just rarely watch live action of manga or anime, especially BL, so that’s why I wasn’t sure how I’d feel. But oh my god they paid so much attention even to little idiosyncrasies and movements! Good job, guys, good job

I still need to read Haikyuu!!, I don’t know why I haven’t yet. It’s my goal to do so at some point, because so far I’ve only seen the anime and read the first 2 volumes, and I want to read everything and be up to date with others! 

I started Black Clover and was pretty excited about it but then it started pulling full on bullshit fanservice moves in the 3rd volume or something and it annoyed me so much I stopped reading... I should probably start up again but ugh, so sick of unnecessary fanservice 

WAIT have I read the latest Noragami?? ....Shit yes I did I FORGOT ok so that series THAT SERIES goddamnit I love that series...

Same with Natsume Yuujinchou like goddamn, just as soon as you think surely you won’t cry at some new story in it because surely you’re immune by now, the series is like “So anyway here’s this really bittersweet or heartwarming-slash-heartrending story I’ll casually throw out there and Bee-Tee-Dubs, just a reminder that as nice as Natsume is, his life will probably always be a pretty sad and precarious mess because he cares too much about both humans and Ayakashi”

which now that I’m thinking about it is a bit Allen Walker-like.... no wonder I love both Natsume and Allen; they both are stuck in between all these other things but don’t use it as an excuse to hurt or hate others; if anything, they hurt themselves while trying not to hurt others. I just really love characters and people who don’t use misfortune as an excuse for harming others

There’s probably more but I’m getting so distracted by this gif faded in the background on tumblr that I can’t focus omg wut

Oh right, I hope Gangsta comes back sometime in the future. They have some spin off out I think, right? Based on Marco Adriano, called Cursed? I’m debating if I should give it a try.... Actually I don’t remember, maybe I bought the first volume and haven’t read it yet lolz0r Anyway if anyone’s read it, is it as good as Gangsta? The thing is, I don’t really care about Marco, so that’s why I haven’t read it yet. Not that I hate him or anything but I feel pretty meh about reading something solely based on him so I’ve hesitated. I mostly like Gangsta primarily for Worick and secondarily for Nicolas, and then I liked others like Doug, and it’s not like I hate the rest of the characters but they work best for me as the background to Worick and Nicolas’ story. So idk.

Similarly, I gave up on Dogs! Bullets & Carnage around volume 9 mostly because I love one character (Badou all the way, motherfuckers!) and am mostly ambivalent or not in love with the rest. Badou totally carried the series for me in the beginning, when he and Heine had all those great interactions, but now Naoto’s more prominent with Heine and I’m like bleggggh not a fan of Naoto almost at all, and Heine’s okay but I feel like he’s kind of a non-character so he doesn’t really work as the primary MC for me. The pacing of the story is not the best so it makes it harder for me to care about what’s going on. Basically I just want the series to follow Badou around and tell me occasionally about the crazy shit the others are getting up to. Give me a spin off on Badou and I’ll buy that any day! Come on! Anyway so if anyone is still reading that, I’m just curious if I should keep going... I’m a little curious about what the hell is even going on with the plot and background and etc but mostly I just want more Badou :( ...wait a second, I just saw there’s a prequel called just Dogs, that may be more along the lines of the story I want to read. I want just Dogs, man! Did I read it already years ago? Fuck if I can remember...

I also gave up on Tokyo Ghoul:re after it was so incredibly different from Tokyo Ghoul and the pacing and just everything kind of fucked around with what I was hoping to read as a continuation of that series, and in particular with me wanting to see more of Kaneki. I’m months behind at this point and idk man. I will probably read further at some point because I do think it’s an interesting world and I liked a number of characters in Tokyo Ghoul quite a lot, especially Kaneki. But :re has just been... I’m trying not to say mean things lol it’s just that I guess the pacing and style and story and character designs and just everything is basically like a whole different series. Which would be fine, if that was what I wanted. But what I wanted was more Tokyo Ghoul, so I’m disappointed so far. idk. I don’t think I’ve given up completely on it. I just think I have to wait until I’m in the right mood...

That just randomly reminded me I never finished Claymore. That was another series that started out interesting but then idk. The pacing or story or what just dragged a lot after a while, or made it difficult to follow. I should finish it sometime I guess. I think I probably only have a few dozen chapters to read to end it. 

I did the same thing with Shingeki no Kyoujin/Attack on Titan... I was pretty obsessed with it when I first started reading it, then the story/style started wavering around the same time I got caught up with Japan and had to wait for new chapters, I read as chapters released for a few months, and then idk. At one point I just got too annoyed/frustrated with the series and stopped reading. I guess that’s another series where maybe I should wait until it’s ended and then read it all at once. I’m curious about some of the plot lines but I really only liked one or two characters pretty well and the rest I was ambivalent about or my feelings on them varied too much, and since I’m so character-driven as a reader/viewer I just can’t stick with series that don’t have strong and consistent plots while also having strong and consistent characters and character development. At least not week by week or month by month, one chapter at a time. It doesn’t seem to work for my attention span.

In anime news, I wish we’d get some sequels of some series like re:Zero or K Project or my god wouldn’t No. 6 be nice?? But these are all light novel based so my hopes are probably for naught. Actually, I take that back. K wasn’t based on LN, it just has novels in addition to the anime. But now I’m realizing, maybe I missed some things. That series is kind of weird with stuff all over the place and individualized outside of the anime itself so I probably missed things. Unsurprisingly, I’m sure, Shiro is my favorite, Kuro secondarily. But I primarily watched for Shiro lolz

Wow ok I just managed to use up all my time on StayFocusd rambling on all this shit so there you go, there’s a bunch of random thoughts about a bunch of random series, and I didn’t even cover everything but I had to stop somewhere I guess.

Probably no one even read this far but that’s fine; sometimes I write this even just to remember later my thoughts on some things. Like I said earlier in the year, I wanted to do Voice as my word for 2017, which means not silencing myself on stuff unnecessarily, so for things like this where I want to write a post talking about a bunch of different stuff just touching on them it’s silly to not do it if it’s something I want to do. If that makes sense.

Anyway if you are reading this, I hope you have a lovely day/night/whatever it is for you! And hey, let me know if you have thoughts on any of the series I mentioned or I guess if you want me to go more in depth on something if it was of interest to you. idk, just whatever.

Hmm maybe I’ll make a tag for these kind of posts so I can find them later... I think I’ll do “ais manga ramblings” hmmmm