#I suppose that some folks just ignore 99% of the show

[sailoreuterpe]

"I watch Rick and Morty, the show with canon abuse, age gaps, beastiality, body horror, brainwashing, cannibalism, CSA, dubcon, drugs, gore, horror, incest, murder, necrophilia(?), noncon, rape, sex, torture, underage sex, and violence!"

"Proshippers DNI!"

[queenofhearts7378]

I posted 6,765 times in 2022

58 posts created (1%)

6,707 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-am-thornqueen

@heartclover

@tired-yeetling

@storygirl000

@linzerj

I tagged 678 of my posts in 2022

#irrelevant queen talking - 54 posts

#danny phantom - 31 posts

#ask thy queen - 18 posts

#queen will write - 15 posts

#danny fenton - 14 posts

#constellations - 13 posts

#dp twin au - 12 posts

#draco malfoy - 11 posts

#tuesday stream - 11 posts

#tuesday streaming - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i have 9 pillows and 3 blankets and 2 baskets of laundry and my laptop and purse and a stack of book and i still have room to sprawl asleep

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Constellations Ch. 5

Prev. Chapter - Next Chapter - First Chapter

Chapter Titles include: *Captain America PSA voice* So you've witnessed your first ghost attack, Baby's first battle, What literally everyone has been waiting for, Guess Who? Ghost Edition, and Sam Judo flips Draco. Buckle in this is a long one folks.

(Notes: Just a reminder that Danny spent a whole summer with the Malfoy’s before GoF. As such, I didn't think it felt right if all of Draco’s interactions in the book were exactly the same. So there were definitely some changes through the year, including him not being as big of a jerk.

Danny made him think about things.

….He was still a jerk though.)

..........

A week after Danny left Malfoy Manor, Draco’s parents took him to the Quidditch World Cup. 

It was thrilling, as it always was. His father had made sure they had top box seats, as the Minister's personal guests even, with a sizable donation to St. Mungo's.

But all Draco could think of was that it would be a lot more fun if Danny had been with him.

He could have talked to Danny about the tactics and strategies they were using in the game. About the differences between school and professional games.

Danny probably would have laughed at the mascots brought out and told him another wild story from his hometown.

He hadn't even noticed Potter and his friends till the minister was showing him off like a prized owl. Draco rolled his eyes and ignored them.

Maybe it was better Danny hadn't come. He'd be insisting to meet Draco's "arch enemy". He found Draco’s hatred of the Gryffindors comical.

The match and the whole trip back to the luxury temporary house his parents had commissioned weeks before, were nothing but a whirlwind Draco didn't quite remember. It had been a relief to escape into the charmed house, where none of the partying outside could be heard.

The next thing Draco knew, his mother was pulling him out of bed.

"Get up Draco." She ordered. "Dress quickly and follow me."

His mother was waiting by the door by the time he made it down the stairs. It was only opened an inch, but Draco could hear the screams and spell fire coming from outside.

His mother looked at him, her hand on the door. "I'm going to get Lucius. Wait for us just inside the tree line."

Draco felt like a rock had suddenly dropped in his stomach. "Where's Father?"

"Don't worry about that," she said softly. She leaned forward to cup his face. "Wait for us, and stay out of the way."

And Draco did as she asked. He followed the crowd, till he made it to the forest. From there he wandered just in the tree line till he found a hidden clearing with a view to the camp grounds.

His back hit a tree and he grabbed his elbows, slowly sliding to the forest floor, for once not caring about the leaves and dirt that would get all over his expensive robes. All he could think about was "What if Danny had come with?"

He wasn't stupid, he knew what was happening as he saw flashes of red and green and a family of muggles spinning above pointed wands. He knew exactly who was out there. A dark head flopped forward and Draco felt his stomach twist into knots.

That could have been his brother.

There was a part of Draco that always….knew this was how muggles and squib were treated by some wixen. It was a mindset he had always known, this is how muggles were supposed to be treated. It was what he was raised on.

And Danny….Danny was such a muggle. He never hid his upbringing, always going on about the things he did and how different it was in the wizarding world. He gladly called himself a squib, a defiant look in his eyes as if he was taking the almost slur and reclaiming it as something to be proud of.

That could've been Danny. But he's safe.

He's safe.

For the first time in his life, Draco hated being a pureblood.

See the full post

50 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

#4

Look what I'm working ;)

....

"Sam, what are you planning?" Danny leaned over her shoulder to see what she was writing. "Oh….I don't see how any of that will help."

"What are you planning to force on me?" Draco asked.

Sam smirked at him and started counting on her fingers, "The Craft, Blair Witch Project, Hocus Pocus-"

"One of those is not like the other Sam." Tucker said.

"Hush. Hansel and Gretel-"

"Maybe not that one!" Danny hissed.

Tucker snorted, "Isn't that the one with the guy that plays Hawkeye? Also the one that-"

"Yes," Danny interrupted, shoving his hand in Tucker's face, "What about Lord of the Rings? Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Narnia?"

"Sleepy Hollow, Elvira, The Crucible." Sam continued.

Danny paused, "Maybe The Crucible, if only because it's on the study guide. He's staying for the entire summer, I'd rather not traumatize him. Please. I am begging you."

She looked at him flatly, "Then beg."

53 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#3

Broke: Isabela Madrigal is lesbian and that's why she doesn't want to marry

Woke: Isabela Madrigal is asexual and she's not interested in marriage at all

Bespoke: Isabela Madrigal is an asexual lesbian in the way that she thinks girls are pretty but keeps getting distracted by carnivorous plants, throwing cacti around, and dyeing her hair and dress different colors

128 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#2

People always make like....Dan or some eldircth being or Vlad the opposition when writing King Danny but yall are sleeping on a great potential villain:

Walker

132 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Constellations Ch. 4

[Alternatively titled: Draco's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

And, I just want to say, I love you guys :^) ]

Prev. Chapter - Next Chapter - First Chapter

....

Homeroom/English Literature

Wes came back with a scowl and refused to look in Danny or Draco's direction. Danny considered that a win for today. Mr. Lancer considered phoning Walter Weston about taking Wes out of school for the day.

"Semester tests are in two weeks," Mr. Lancer said, "The tests will take place on the last few days of school, and are optional for students that meet the proper requirements. For those of you who didn't quite make the grade, or didn't make it to class, " He shot a pointed look to Danny, "You will have to take them. I'll pass out the study guide, and we will spend this week going over it and reviewing the test material. For those of you opting out of the test, consider this a free period so long as you remain quiet and unobtrusive to those studying."

He started passing out the thick sheets of paper. Dash groaned when he got his, "Mr. Lancer this is, like, 50 pages long!"

"Front and back." Valerie muttered, flicking through the pages.

"It's only twelve pages, but if you don't think it's enough-"

He was immediately met with protests from around the room, insisting 'No, it's fine! We don't need anymore!'. He smirked.

Handing a packet to Danny's recent tag-a-long, he said, "Even though you won't be taking any tests, perhaps you could help Mr. Fenton study his. It would at least give you something to do in class."

Draco took the plain sheets of paper with furrowed brows and Mr. Lancer continued down the aisle. Quickly scanning over the paper, he leaned over and asked, "Danny what is 'Shakespeare'?"

Danny stared at him. He turned to Sam, "You are helping me study."

Mr. Lancer finished passing out the papers, and proceeded up front to go over them. Half the class was playing on their phones underneath their desks. (Or in Paulina's case, just holding it up in front of her face.)

The other half was at least attempting to take notes. Wes muttered furiously under his breath and Valerie was viciously scribbling down everything she could. Tucker jotted down schematic notes between questions as he thought about different improvements he could make to his tech and the Fenton's. Sam was reading something covered in black leather and dust underneath the table. Danny started out taking notes but then got distracted trying to explain….pretty much everything on the study guide to Draco.

Tucker leaned over, "Do you guys not have English Lit where you're from?"

Draco gave him a scathing look. "We have practical classes, on subjects we use in our daily lives. Why on Earth would you need to know-" he squinted at the paper, "'Who seems less impulsive and more realistic- Romeo or Juliet?' What use is that?"

Sam made a hm noise and pulled out a paper.

"Sam, what are you planning?" Danny leaned over her shoulder to see what she was writing. "Oh….I don't see how any of that will help."

"What are you planning to force on me?" Draco asked.

Sam smirked at him and started counting on her fingers, "The Craft, Blair Witch Project, Hocus Pocus-"

"One of those is not like the other Sam." Tucker said.

"Hush. Hansel and Gretel-"

"Maybe not that one!" Danny hissed.

Tucker snorted, "Isn't that the one with the guy that plays Hawkeye? Also the one that-"

"Yes," Danny interrupted, shoving his hand in Tucker's face, "What about Lord of the Rings? Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Narnia?"

"Sleepy Hollow, Elvira, The Crucible." Sam continued.

Danny paused, "Maybe The Crucible, if only because it's on the study guide. He's staying for the entire summer, I'd rather not traumatize him. Please. I am begging you."

See the full post

139 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[maddie-grove]

Little Book Review: Mansfield Park

Author: Jane Austen.

Publication Date: 1814.

Genre: Classic literature.

Premise: Fanny Price, the sickly eldest daughter of a poor retired naval lieutenant and his once-genteel wife, is brought to live with her wealthy relatives at age ten. Although most of them are not actively malicious, their general superiority and selfishness put her in a perpetual state of anxiety. The only exception is Edmund, her thoughtful first cousin who dreams of being a clergyman. Then the scandalous Crawford siblings, irreverent Mary and womanizing Henry, roll into the village and shake everything up. 

Thoughts: I didn’t expect to love Fanny Price. I expected to feel bad for her and find her unobjectionable; I don’t really understand the impulse to actively hate put-upon, not particularly colorful heroines. But I didn’t anticipate that she’d become one of my favorite Austen heroines. She’s not stupid, or boring, or even that unreasonable in her moral judgments. In fact, she’s one of the smartest Austen heroines. Accustomed to witnessing people on their worst behavior thanks to her low and uncertain status, she’s the only one to take Henry Crawford’s defects seriously. He’s callous in his flirtations, bordering on cruel, and he blames the women he hurts for their lack of character instead of acknowledging his own faults. His pursuit of Fanny even starts as a joke, one that seems especially mean-spirited in light of her dependence, poverty, painful shyness, and physical frailty. (That’s like if Jim from The Glass Menagerie knew all along that he was supposed to be a Gentleman Caller but thought it would be fun to torment some girl with an anxiety disorder and a bad foot. What the fuck, Henry.) Once the joke becomes real and he falls for Fanny, though, everyone (from Fanny’s high-minded but mercenary uncle to the overly fond Mary Crawford to the besotted-by-Mary Edmund to Henry himself) buys the fairy tale of the the bad boy who was reformed by the sufficiently pure and sweet woman. Everyone, that is, except for Fanny, who refuses to throw her (not particularly nice) female cousins under the bus. Who correctly discerns that Henry doesn’t regret his shitty actions. Who doesn’t fool herself that she’s changed Henry in any real way. She withstands enormous pressure from Henry, who enlists the help of her entire family to push her into marriage. 

That’s extremely hard, and admirable, and intelligent. I literally do not understand why the popular image of her is so negative. I mean, sure, general misogyny. I think there’s also an expectation that an Austen heroine is going to be witty, which Fanny absolutely isn’t; if she were a Brontë or Eliot heroine, her earnestness and introversion and tendency to stare thoughtfully at trees would play a lot differently. Maybe she comes across as too perfect? I get how people might get that impression, but that’s not how she struck me. Her dislike of Mary Crawford is peevish and unjustified, at least before Mary starts pressuring her to accept Henry’s shitty affections. I don’t say this because I’m less shocked by Mary’s distaste for going to church than Fanny is; Fanny, while pious, understandably seems more concerned that the equally devout Edmund is overlooking the very real difference in values between him and Mary. I say this because Fanny’s hostility is 99% the result of jealousy over Edmund. She knows it, and she feels kind of bad about it, but it’s still there. Ain’t that always the way. She’s also overly judgmental when she goes to visit her much poorer parents and siblings, but (instead of replicating the lack of empathy her own richer relations had towards her as a child) she’s able to gradually understand that her siblings’ behavior is a necessary response to the chaos of the home. I love her so much.

The other characters are great, too, because they’re flawed in such recognizable, human ways. It’s an excellent demonstration of the importance of striving to be kind, patient, and thoughtful, because everyone’s motivations are understandable. Even such a consistently unpleasant character as Mrs. Norris isn’t a melodrama villain. In her indulgence of Maria and (to a lesser extent) Julia, and in her efforts to keep Fanny down, I saw a scared, insecure woman trying to avoid being classified as a poor relation by her sister’s family. Everyone in the wealthy Bertram family is motivated by a desire to avoid inconvenience and challenges to the status quo; Sir Thomas won’t look too deeply at his eldest daughter’s engagement to a wealthy man, Tom and Maria and Julia avoid thinking about the realities of Fanny’s life or showing active kindness to her because it’s not fun, and even Edmund will ignore every troubling incompatibility between himself and Mary Crawford because he’s attracted to her. (Lady Bertram has this whole attitude down to an art; she just wants to get high and hang out with her pug.) Mary Crawford is one of the most fascinating supporting characters. I’m not sure that she’s witty, exactly; she’s funny, and she might be witty in another setting, but her jaded remarks often go over like a lead balloon in the presence of Edmund and Fanny. She can’t, or won’t, modify that part of herself for Edmund. That’s admirable and honest, but it’s also sad when combined with her belief that she can change him into someone who doesn’t want to be a clergyman. She’s both cynical and romantic. And, despite her faults, she’s kind. Her concern over Fanny being left out or berated by Mrs. Norris seems like more than a way to impress Edmund, given her refusal to hide her irreverence. Her worst quality is her wholehearted support of her shitty brother, but I even get that; he’s her brother, even if he’s shitty.

One more thing: there’s a lot of off-kilter sexual energy in this novel, particularly among Fanny, Edmund, and Mary. It’s very weird, yes, but it makes for a fascinating read.

Hot Goodreads Take: I don’t feel like diving into Goodreads discourse on Mansfield Park, so I’m just going to say a few words about the 1999 movie. As a movie, I like it. As an adaptation...folks, that’s not Henry Crawford. That’s a James Dean bad boy who’s capable of remorse and sympathy and humility. Book!Henry is, like, a George W. Bush bad boy. Remember that before you bash Book!Fanny for not wanting to bang him. 

[bloodfcst-a]

given the revival of the vii fandom with all of the hullabaloo surrounding remake, i can think of no better time to do this meme. i also suggest you check out my updated nav page if you haven’t already! i worked really hard on it okay sobs.

things a new rp partner should know about me !

write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. 

tagged by: no one, but it’s a shame bc... i got thoughts. you were warned.

tagging: @angereve​ @enshijou​ @breselin​ @serophs​ @strfe​ @fractempyreal​ @extremepath​ @localmagicalboi​ @shimmerseas​ @duplikiss​ @verumking​ @asterites​ + if it strikes your fancy.

i. i am not your mother’s/father’s yu.ffie blog. while i do have a verse reserved for compilation content, that’s not the main premise of this blog. if you came here for oversexualized underage ninjas.... i’m going to have to direct you elsewhere. out here we’re primarily an adult modern interpretation... who does not daylight as a ninja constantly. she can, however, be a y.akuza or a sheltered member of high society who enjoys kicking ass for justice so if you’re interested in that, y’know. c’mon down.

ii. the typical ‘ yu.ffie is a kleptomaniac ’ / ‘ stop stealing my stuff ’ trope is like. one that grates my very existence. i have talked about this many times, but for those of you who are new: yufi has only stolen out of necessity to her cause. the only time i’ll refer to petty theft on this blog is if she like steals a fry or something. if we’re joking around, okay, but... please don’t consider that to be the sole core of her characterization. i’m begging. i’m on my knees. i’m warning you, i’ll cry and then i’ll probably ignore whatever post you’ve mentioned it in if you’re serious. just. don’t be that person if you’re following me.

if we’re going into it, the only times she’s stolen anything were: > in crisis core, as the ‘ treasure princess. ’  but this is arguable, as the treasure is truly up for grabs to start with & zack repeatedly goes after these locations she’s sent to him ( which, by the way, were sent to her from rufus to attempt to retaliate against + destroy shinra hq ). zack already knew what was up when: 1) she showed up in his spam folder; 2) she literally said she’s on the hunt for treasure; and 3) he knew at least after the second time that he was gon’ get goinked ( please see definition #2 ) so... can’t help him there. > in vanilla vii, when the party is foolish enough to meet her and not recruit her off the bat ( it be ya own self ). to be fair, 99% of her interactions with easterners / non-wutai prior to that moment had been people who either wanted to kill her or exploit her, so... it’s only self-preservation to use them before they use her or worse, leave her for dead. a sad reality for a 16 year old. > in vanilla vii, only after the party arrives to wutai & she thinks she can successfully finish her mission of “ getting all the strongest materia. ” after she’s captured, she does apologize, and then afterward makes cloud sign it in writing. so. y’know, she did learn from her mistake & said “ ugh, guess i gotta put that diplomacy training to use. ”

y’all could argue that she’s a thief class and that’s what they do, but note that it’s NOT one of her core skills-- it’s a MATERIA. which means everyone out there with a steal materia could be out here being a kleptomaniac. cloud? barret? tifa? red xiii? none of your favs are safe. her skills in the game, however, are shit called “ blood festival ” ( oh? see the username’s relevance all of a sudden? aha! ) and “ doom of the living. ”  she’s out here summoning ghosts and reigning otherworldly power on ur ass but... fandom wasn’t ready for that conversation !!  some folks were too BASIC and couldn’t handle her true strength... so i will gladly champion that for you.

iii. i like to emphasize that yufi is an emotionally strong yet traumatized figure, which stems from her origins and that i just put that in the forefront. we have a character who is haunted by her mother who died after childbirth, seemingly rejected from her father yet held to the highest of his standards, has attachment issues because she’s the “ black sheep ” and doesn’t just accept defeat or dejection even if it comes from her core community, survived multiple wars, has led in post-war rescue efforts on multiple occasions, was wrongfully imprisoned, was on the forefront of pandemic outbreaks as a first-responder, joins and rises to the top of an organization created to restore world order, is one of the two top operatives in said organization ( and the one out on the field longer--sorry vin.cent, but u only got involved at lu.cretia and when the actual gunshots disturbed your brooding and wine session filled isolation sessions. but like, mood tho ), pretends to be cheery despite clearly remembering all the hauntings and death and other bullshit she’s been facing since she was a toddler.... oh, and she disarmed bombs when her country was wrongfully targeted + used as political bait for terrorists...when she was a child. that’s canon, if we’re talking about  “ accuracy. ” even in vanilla vii, she had no outlets, no one to turn to, ‘cause everyone was cloud vc: “ not interested. ”  

so if you’re on this blog, it’s not like you won’t see happy  yufi... but realize that i recognize that she is multifaceted and has a lot of baggage. emotional issues which unfortunately i bring to every verse gfdohfofh but u know, it’s core to her character + y’all gon have to deal, or... idk, go find another yufi. i’m not forcing you to be here.

iv. in my opinion, the best plotting comes with ooc conversations/interactions. i’m not saying if we plot that we’re required to be friends, ‘cause i don’t wanna force anyone into friendship, but i truly believe that if you want super deep plots with frequent interactions, we should... probably talk more than once. pretty simple, imo !  sometimes people claim i play favorites, but i really don’t... if you never talk to me and you don’t respond to my attempts to interact, then how am i supposed to know you’re interested? 

as a general rule, i’ll put in as much effort as i receive. if i see you’re interested in me, if we’re really vibing when it comes to plotting, if you’re sending asks & liking posts, we’ve got some threads going, rad !  if i like starter calls and send you asks and message you and you never respond to me... ?  i’ll take that as a sign you don’t wanna talk + i should move on to someone else. if i’m wrong, well... do something to change my mind.

v. i know i went hard as fuck on this meme, but that’s bc I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT ABOUT THIS MUSE.  in reality i’m actually quite soft + a weenie babie. if you ask.......... most people, i think they’d say i try really hard to be approachable and adaptable. i think everyone who talks to me on discord laughs at me because i’m scared of the stupidest things + i love to make jokes and just be funny and relatable. so please be nice and love me and my sassy fighty extremely tough deprived child. we both need hugs. 

kthx i’m finally done.

[rdy2laugh]

What was “I” thinking? “I” should let YOU????

I was thinking THAT when I had this conversation I just had.  I do not WANT to have conversations hence my profile stating "NO LET'S CHAT," but I just had to get this person in the IM when I saw the message they wrote me.  I say they as it was a couple's profile, but I am pretty sure this was the man talking if it was a couple's profile.  Let me give you this minor recap first.  My profile CLEARLY stays, "NO LET’S CHAT.. NO LET’S MEET..  NO LET’S BE FRIENDS!!  I am here for BLOGGING ONLY!!  Even with that the majority don't get it, but that is a different blog.  lol For THIS blog keep that in mind as I now show you the message I received:

MSG: love your profile. My name is Rxxx. My Husbands name is Mxxx. we are looking for exactly what you are, sex. i would love to watch you play with my husband. thats it. he does have a great personality, and is a gentleman.i

NOW.... this is THEIR profile and I have edited it out to make it shorter.  This is all you need for this blog:

Introduction:  we are respectful , kind and enjoy sex with the righ. and single girl either for sex with my husband, or a threesome

My Ideal Person: Respectful, hasn't had multiple partners, ect.

OKAY... I see lots of RESPECTFUL's in there, but I don't see where we are looking for the same thing.  Not even close!!!  So now you get why when I saw that they were on the IM I just HAD to do this.

I asked to be sure if they wrote me stating they were respectful and loved my profile and we are looking for EXACTLY the same things??? '

REPLY: YES, that was us and I remembered it well.

(My commentary here....remember it Well???)

ME: You didn't even READ my profile as if you did you would know just how STUPID you look right now.

REPLY: How so?

ME: You can't possibly expect me to believe you read it.  What are WE looking for that is the same??  I clearly state in MY profile NO LET'S CHAT, NO LET'S MEET, NO LET'S BE FRIENDS.  BLOGGING ONLY! I don't get how you could possibly think WE are looking for the same things after reading YOUR profile.  Had you READ it you would know you look EXTREMELY stupid right now.

REPLY: Oh I am sorry, I didn't think it meant that.

ME:  WTF???  How do you think that NO LET'S CHAT means let's chat?  How do you think that NO LET'S MEET means let's meet?  How do you think NO LET'S BE FRIENDS means let's be friends?  How the fuck do you get to that??

REPLY: I am sorry you are very angry and not good enough for my husband.  I used to really like you, but now I have unfriended you.

ME: ???? WE ARE NOT FRIENDS!!  I have never had you in my network and don't intend on it now either.  YOU are not good enough for ME to make ME change my preferences?  HOW are you respectful shoving yourself where you are NOT wanted???  There is something seriously wrong with you if you believe YOU are so terrific someone would change their preferences for you.

REPLY: I didn't ask you to change anything.  I didn't ask you to be my friend I got straight to the point.

ME:  Ummm..yeah ya did.  YOU wanted me to change NO LET'S MEET to meet YOU!!  It may be straight to the point, but it is IGNORING MY PROFILE!!  That is NOT respectful and YES, I am FURIOUS at people that IGNORE MY PROFILE and think it is okay.  How would you like it if just shoved themselves at you and asked you to do something YOU didn't want to do and expect you to do it???  You are seriously fucked up if you don't get what you just did.

REPLY: I am not talking like you are.  I am a nice person.

ME: YOU ARE NOT NICE WHEN YOU IGNORE A PROFILE AND SHOVE YOURSELF WHERE YOU ARE NOT WANTED!!!  I didn't approach you, YOU approached me and expect me to change MY wants so you can use me for a fuck and then think "I" am disrespectful for NOT wanting to do that and being angry you violated my space??  WTF!!!

REPLY: As I said I misunderstood your profile.  I don't understand why you can't give a person a chance.

ME: GIVE YOU A CHANCE??  SERIOUSLY????  NO MEANS NO GODDAMNED IT!!!  I have NO intentions of changing what "I" want so YOU and YOUR supposed husband can use me as a disposable fuck hole.  GROW THE FUCK UP!!

END OF CONVERSATION

Now I just am supposed to say What was "I" thinking and now change my desires so they can use me for a fuck that "I" don't even want??  Just how fucking SELFISH is that on top of disrespectful and rude!!????!!!????

You know folks, I keep stating that THIS IS WHY women don't answer messages and IM's.  This is WHY those assholes can't get laid!!!  We are each here for our OWN reasons and to believe that everyone is here for the SAME THING is just plain fucking LUDICROUS as well as IGNORANT no matter who you are.  I get this is seen as a sex site, but that doesn't mean that YOU (no matter who the 'you' is) get to choose whomever YOU want and that person is supposed to just do what YOU want.  Think about it, when someone you don't like, possibly you are a straight man and a gay man contacts you, YOU should just stop everything for HIM and let HIM do what HE wants and you don't count the same as you are trying to project on everyone else.

PROFILES ARE WRITTEN FOR A REASON AND IF YOU JUST IGNORE THEM YOU ARE ASKING TO BE REJECTED AND GET BASHED IN THE HEAD FOR LOOKING FUCKING STUPID!!!! Why would anyone WANT to be rejected???  Playing the numbers and just contacting everyone HOPING ONE person out of that 100 or so WILL LET YOU use them for something they don't want is just plain fucking WRONG!!  You are instead turning off the other 99 people that are now getting pissed off at the number of you jerks that do this as it isn't JUST YOU.  There is a plethora of piss ants that don't care about anything but getting some pussy and they lie and shit to get it.  So now the women don't answer messages, ignore them all or most of them, and the GOOD MEN PAY THE PRICE FOR IT!!!

Just fucking stop with the copy/paste messages of "I loved your profile" if you absolutely still feel like being an annoying piece of shit and send a message anyway especially if you DID NOT READ IT!!!  You look twice as fucking bad and like a loser.

****Brought to you by the Sheeple's Republic of Assholiness****

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I wrote this a while ago (4 months?) . Sorry it’s so long, but that’s the drawback of insomnia and no one to gush about a movie to...

Short verson? Unexpectedly I really liked an obscure old western called To the Last Man, basically because the romance at it’s center really connected with me. 

It’s interesting when a movie takes you by surprise.

I’ve been watching a a DVD set Pop fished out of a $5 bin a very long time ago. It’s one of those “20 movies crammed onto two discs, and how watchable the image and sound are doesn’t matter” kind of things. And geez, some of these look horrible. In the case of one movie there were times I couldn’t even tell which character was on screen. These are the sort of churned out discs where the just throw whatever they can get a hold of onto it, quality be damned.

 Not being a huge western fan, and having recently endured a similar set of early John Wayne films Pop had * I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. Still, it was the last of the unwatched movie DVDs so I figured I might as well play them.

Turns out they have been a facinating variety of westerns, covering at least 40 years. For instance one film was a a spaghetti western that actually involved a circus ** and a film next to it was a pilot to a 1970s tv show set in 1914 with the heroes traveling the west in a car. 

Which leads me to the biggest surprise so far, a barely movie length film from 1933 called To the Last Man. 

Now I went into it expecting very little. It was one of those movies so short it wouldn’t be considered feature length now, a western staring Randolph Scott who always seems to fade from my memory as soon as I finish a film. *** Even after it started it seemed to be a Hatfield and McCoy style family fued migrating west, with an already old fashioned silent era quirk of putting the names of the character and actor on screen when they first appeared. And then they added a Romeo and Juliet to the story…

Again I had low expectations, When they introduced the girl, daughter of the baddie family, I thought I knew exactly where it was going. Once out west the girl is a bronco busting, sometimes trouser wearing despite being the 19th century, kind of gal. I liked her, which made me dread the romance ahead.

See stories have traditionally had problems with romances involving  non-traditional women. 

In some stories the woman will be there for the fella, saving his life or something like that, but whatever affections he may have for her the love will be unrequited. Sometimes she dies, sometimes she gets a supporting character love interest, but always the hero goes off with the traditional princess type girl.

 In the stories where there is dainty, aloof beauty for the hero to moon over instead, they go a different route. Those are the stories where women are tamed. The hero often mocks and teases the woman for her non-traditional ways, even outright bullying her and accusing her of not being a “real” woman. She goes through an awkward phase of attempting to be properly feminine, to humorous effect, before eventually transforming into what a woman is “supposed’ to be for the love of her man.

I hate those, both of them. With the first,  I find myself grumbling the gal is to good for him if he cares more about a proper bit of styling and pretty face than courage or kindness. With the second, it’s even worse. Love does NOT demand that the person you love deny their nature and remake themselves to satisfy your tastes. If they have to change into something else to earn your love then you don’t love them at all. 

Anyway, I was sure how this was gonna go, especially with references in the conversation between the father and his thug pal about her wildness. This was gonna be a taming. I liked her as she was, and they were going to break her…

But I was wrong! 

The initial “meet cute” involved her swimming (naked…it was1933) and being harrassed by the thug until the hero rides up and intervened. When afterwards they chatted I was surprised. Sure it was flirty and established their attraction, but in more authentic way than I expected. When he refered to her as a lady and she assumed he was mocking her, in most movies there would be truth in her belief. But not here. To be honest I was as thrown as she was by his sincerity.

Later she talked to one of her father’s men, trying to figure out how a lady would dress because she wanted to dress that way before heading out to find the hero. I thought, “oh no, here it comes”, but again I was wrong. The conversation was sweet as the guy used his mother as an example and offered to help the girl go shopping, only to have her say she couldn’t wait that long. The hero would be camping for the night nearby, so she would have to go find him wearing her usual ratty clothes. She did NOT do the comedy attempt to fancy up!

And then we get to the campfire scene.

They may have met while she was swimming, but he has a body too. She surprises him as he shirtlessly shaves, so there is a bit of admiring the male form, complete with her saying she would think he was “soft” (for shaving so often in her rough world) if it weren’t for the fact she could see his strong arms. Even now too many movies don’t do something as simple as this: Let the man be physically admired by the woman.

During their conversation after he dresses, for all her attraction she is also self conscious of her rough around the edges appearance. When he notes her bare feet must find the mountains painful, she is defensive, expecting it to be a slight. But he quickly reassures her that no insult was meant, and it’s true. He didn’t. Not once in that scene, or in any scene, did he ever belittle her or tell her that she is somehow wrong for being herself.

When he was ready to say goodnight she announces she is staying. While she does tell him he must treat her “like a man” for the night, it’s still a woman boldly telling a man she’s spending the night with him whatever ended up happening after the fade out.

Now next morning she fixes him breakfast. In most movies this would either be the comical “non-traditional woman inept at proper womanly skills” or it would be the “non-traditional woman embraces properly womanly role because of love”. It was neither. She fixed him breakfast, an affectionate gesture to be sure,  but no fuss was made of it. She cooked it skillfuly and he didn’t seem astonished. It was just….breakfast.

Naturally as they are now head over heels for each other, this is when they find out each other’s family names, with the expected emotional turmoil. Now you would expect a few hostile scenes between them before they get over the whole feud thing, but they actually get over it quickly. By the time he buys gifts for his reunion with his family, he buys one more gift for her. And sure, when he leaves it where she can find it she at first angrily tosses it in the fire…before fishing it out. The fact is they are still in love, family war or not.  

About that gift..yes, it is a dress, but it doesn’t feel like a judgement or a nudge but a gift given with love of something she desires. He doesn’t know that when her father got out of prison he commented on her shabby dress,which she explained was her only dress after the hard life she’d had to live. He does know she was self conscious about the dress she wore when they met. It feels like a thoughtful gesture.  

The next time they are together, her family has stollen his family’s horses and she is joyfully riding the horse his brother had recently given to him. This would be a  moment for a lot of shouting and protesting that their own families were in the right. Instead we see little of the encounter except from the viewpoint of the distant thug. Considering the couple kiss and he smilingly sees her off on what had been his horse, I really don’t think there was much shouting.

Naturally the thug, who has designs on her,  tells her father abouther romance. The dress she’d hidden away is dug out as proof. She defiantly says she intends to wear the dress at her wedding to the hero, and her father lashes her. It’s off camera but we see him swinging the whip, so whoa, horrible daddy there! 

Stuff happens with the feud, which I’ve almost totally ignored**** despite it being the main plot, which culminates in the thug engineering a rock slide. The only survivor of the men folk from both clans is, of course, our hero. As he staggers to the girl’s home he seems horribly injured and dazed almost to senselessness. There is no sudden miraculous recovery for the sake of love scenes, fights or plot.  This is convincing the way 99% of all action movies ever aren’t when it comes to traumatic injuries. He needs care..

So here comes the thug. The girl quickly hides the hero in the loft and goes to work to deal with the villian. She has to feign normalicy, then react as he would expect her to react, while he makes clear she is to be considered his property and she has to figure out how to play that considering she is trying to hide her beloved. The dazed hero can hear what’s going on, tries to aim his gun, and drops it. The villian know the hero is there, so it’s time for a fight scene..l.

And the fight is between the villian and the girl!! And this is no dainty girly crap like so many movies have thrown at us. 

Mom and I used to have this thing of yelling at the screen “Hit him!!!!!” whenever heroes and villians would fight and the love interest would stand by looking helpless. I mean, I dunno about you but if someone is trying to kill someone I love they are gonna find themselves fuckin’ fughting TWO people!

And here the girl was doing some serious full body, roll on the floor punching and biting fighting. This wasn’t damsel in distress “You brute!” thumps at the chest or gingerly smashed vases on the head. She fought like she was trying to save the life of someone she loved. Which should be expected, but isn’t when watching an old western.

Alright, so the hero does finally do in the baddie by dropping down with a knife…but now that I think about it maybe SHE was the hero of the movie anyway.

Well, maybe to me she was because she was my identification character. Most of these westerns haven’t had women I could relate to at all, and here was one I related to on some very deep level. I got her. 

Now my family was nothing like hers, not only in the lack of violence (with the ones exception of a relative you can guess) but that they were hardly uneducated (say hello to the ONLY relative I even know of that didn’t graduate college…that would be me BTW) Heck, Pop was a total sweetheart.

And yet I got her. 

An unconventional woman type myself, I never learned the girly stuff. Partly that was accidental and partly it was impractical for the life we lived. I did have to be willing to be rough and tumble, with no line between guy stuff and girl stuff. When I was a kid I was also the only girl in a neighborhood of boys where being a sissy was the worst insult and you had to be ready to fight. I was the girl that swam in the river and played in the woods. And for various reasons ( would take a while to explain) I’ve spent most of my life in worn out work clothes. 

Actually that’s an aspect that makes her resonate even more: clothes. 

I don’t dress like her, but I have my own version shabby woods girl going on. As I write this I’m wearing one of my father’s old t-shirts with holes in it, jeans worn at the knees, a broken hair barrette in my hair, and steel toed men’s work boots on my feet. 

Now there are reasons for all of these. The practicalities of farm amd woods life, being poor enough I’d have to choose between new clothes or things like books, a childhood trauma that gave me a lifelong desire to dress for fight or flight, not having a social life so 99% of the time no human sees me, living in a rural area with no credit card for onlinr ordering and, in the case of the boots, just the fact they are all I can find locally that work with the ankle braces my flat feet force me to wear.

But notice what is missing from all these reasons: fashion. I almost never get to wear clothes I actually like. I’d flip through catalogs or wander stores and imagine wearing this or that. I have strong feelings about clothes I like or don’t, but no real chance to express it. I actually fantasize about that, living the sort of lifestyle where even if you are adventuring you get to pick clothes you want to wear.

Somewhere along the line people started assuming I what I wear reflects my taste, or rather lack there of. I used to ask my cousin at Christmas to please give me something pretty. She couldn’t understand it as a request, but folks just never thought of me as wanting pretty things. What would it have been like, just once, to try to be pretty. 

Actually I’d probably have been laughed at, a comedy buffoon, the hideous lady trying to look cute, the ugly step sister. Just as well life never gave me a chance to try. 

So being self conscious about my appearance is normal for me. I know how I look to people. I also know from experience that people can be cruel, and have taken my share of insults and mocking. In her position I would have thought he was making fun of me too and reacted almost exactly like her. In fact, I have. 

Here is a heroine I can relate to, and she gets the fantasy too. The fella falls in love with her, and loves her as is, not as a fix it upper. He loves her and doesn’t tease her about things where she is sensitive. He gives her a gift of something pretty just because he thinks she will like it. She gets to admire him (and his strong arms). She even gets to fight the bad guy to save him! 

Geez, of course I ended up loving the movie!

Never saw that coming, a Randolph Scott film I will actually remember! But the question is, will I finally remember his face or just his arms?

*NOT  a John Wayne fan, and these were some sort of 1930s filler less than an hour formula stuff.

**I REALLY enjoyed this one, but of course I have a thing for circuses. Woody Strode as a trapeze artist gunfighter and Victor Buono as the big bad were nice bonuses.

***That’s always puzzled me. I usually have an excellent memory for faces from movies, but I forget his instantly.

****Also forgotten, Buster Crabbe, Shirley Temple and the rest of the costars. 

[quranreadalong]

#113, Surah 20

THE QURAN READ-ALONG: DAY 113

Let’s see... where were we, again? The pharaoh is dead, the Jews are out of Egypt, and Allah is telling them how awesome he is. Right. 20:81 is where we’re starting. Allah tells the Jews not to transgress the limits he has set up for them, lest they face “My wrath”, which seems bad. But 20:82 is relatively good in comparison, saying that he is “relenting” towards those who believe and do good and pray for forgiveness etc.

Anyway, then Allah asks Moses (while he is up on the mountain getting the Ten Commandments and such) why he’s gone away from his people. Moses says that they’re still nearby, at the bottom of the mountain, he just wanted some alone time with Allah. But Allah informs him that something has happened while he’s been away.

He said: Lo! We have tried thy folk in thine absence, and As-Samiri hath misled them. 

...wait, who the hell is As-Samiri? We’ve seen the golden calf story before a bunch of times, but this guy hasn’t been mentioned until this ayah. Did we pick up some Samaritan guy offscreen? A little help here, Ibn Kathir...?

Muhammad bin Ishaq reported from Ibn `Abbas that he said, "As-Samiri was a man from the people of Bajarma, a people who worshipped cows. He still had the love of cow worshipping in his soul. However, he acted as though he had accepted Islam with the Children of Israel. His name was Musa bin Zafar.''

Yeah that was the opposite of helpful, thanks. I have no clue who the supposed cow-worshipers of “Bajarma” are supposed to be. A footnote in al-Tabari’s history says it was in what is now northern Syria or Iraq. But then how the hell did he end up traveling with Hebrew slaves out of Egypt and into Israel?! Lo! Let us look at another opinion, please. The Jalals and several others translate his name as “the Samaritan”, as in someone from Samaria in the modern-day West Bank, which seems far more plausible... until you realize that Samaria does not yet exist in this part of the Biblical timeline, as the Hebrews have not gotten to the Promised Land yet. Uh...

Well... let’s assume that Mohammed didn’t quite understand the admittedly complicated timeline and assume he meant “the Samaritan”. Who is this guy and what has he done? Moses stomps back into camp and demands answers. His people tell him that the Samaritan told them to melt down all their golden jewelry, and then...

Then he produced for them a calf, of saffron hue, which gave forth a lowing sound. 

Then he... uh... made it into the shape of a cow, which mooed. Damn impressive, really, especially given that they’re in the middle of nowhere. Quite hard to hand-shape molten gold! But why would “the Samaritan” do such a thing? Well, I do believe there is an answer for this. In the Book of Hosea, chapter 8, we read the following:

They have set up kings, but not by Me; They have appointed princes, but I did not know it. With their silver and gold they have made idols for themselves, That they might be cut off.  He has rejected your calf, O Samaria, saying, "My anger burns against them!" How long will they be incapable of innocence? For from Israel is even this! A craftsman made it, so it is not God; Surely the calf of Samaria will be broken to pieces.

Remember in the history lesson I talked about Jeroboam and how he made golden calf idols? And remember also how Samaria was the capital of Jeroboam’s kingdom? Yeah, that’s what this is about. Now, uh... according to the Biblical timeline this happened like 500+ years after the Moses story, but this clearly seems to be where Mohammed got the idea about “a Samaritan” making a golden calf idol from, even though this person is not present in the Exodus version, nor are Samaritans a thing yet.

An unanswerable question is whether Mohammed intentionally spliced these unrelated stories together or if he just got confused and thought they were about the same incident. The latter is certainly possible, as he’s done such things before, but there’s evidence for the former as well. In the Exodus version, all of this is instead done by Aaron, Moses’ brother. Aaron is later forgiven for it, but the change seems intentional. Mohammed wasn’t a fan of character flaws in holy men and tended to write many of the prophets’ “moments of weakness” out of the Quran’s narrative.

...but it’s equally likely he was just confused. The whole history of Israel/Judah, like the stuff from Kings and Chronicles, is totally skipped over in the Quran so I don’t think he knew much about it, and it’s totally possible he heard “Samaria built a golden calf” and assumed it was about this story. Idk!!

Anyway, the golden calf was, of course, not a real god. Unlike his complicit counterpart in the Exodus version, the Quran’s Aaron tells the Hebrews to stop it, but they ignore him because Moses isn’t there. When Moses hears about this, he gets angry at Aaron for not stopping them, but again Aaron pleads for forgiveness. Neutral if non-Biblical. Relenting, Moses then turns his anger on the Samaritan gentleman in question, asking what the hell he thought he was doing. He cryptically replies in 20:96:

I perceived what they perceive not, so I seized a handful from the footsteps of the messenger, and then threw it in. Thus my soul commended to me. 

Tafsir authors think that this refers to the Samaritan seeing Gabriel riding his horse, then scooping up the dust on which the horse had trodden, and throwing it into the mix. Thus the magic mooing, I guess? I dunno. The Quran doesn’t really specify what he “perceived” or what he “seized a handful of” or who the “messenger” is, so that guess is as good as any.

I did notice that the Babylonian Talmud records a story in which Satan appears in the Jews’ camp, sending a storm to confuse them while Moses is on the mountain, trying to convince them that Moses was dead by showing them an “image of Moses’ corpse in a cloud”. I have no idea if that’s even remotely connected to this story or not, but at least there’s an idea of some otherworldly being being present at the time.

Regardless, Moses essentially gives the Samaritan the punishment of being an untouchable, and tells him that he’s gonna wreck his dumb cow statue.

(Moses) said: Then go! and lo! in this life it is for thee to say: Touch me not! and lo! there is for thee a tryst thou canst not break. Now look upon thy god of which thou hast remained a votary. Verily we will burn it and will scatter its dust over the sea. 

Here’s the thing about the Samaritans. According to them (some still exist, not many though; forced conversions to both Christianity and Islam greatly reduced their numbers), they are simply descendants of the fallen Kingdom of Israel. They follow the Pentateuch, just like “regular Jews”, but do not follow the other books of the Bible. There are a few differences between their version and the “regular” version, but most of it is the same. (As I said in the history lesson, it seems that while the bulk of the Pentateuch was completed in the first post-exile century, editing of the text continued for centuries. The editing produced thousands of grammatical differences between the two, though the stories themselves are virtually identical with one exception.) So it seems that after the exiles returned from Babylon, their northern neighbors took on their holy book without much religious strife.

But problems began to develop between the two. The issue that seems to have precipitated this feud was the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. The Book of Ezra casts them in a very negative light, saying that they clashed with the returned exiles and tried to stop the new temple from being built. This was because the Samaritans already had their own holy site, called Mount Gerizim, which was in Samaria--in the modern-day city of Nablus. And they weren’t interested in Jerusalem taking its place. This is, in fact, the main difference between Samaritans and Jews: the emphasis on Gerizim or Jerusalem, respectively. According to Ezra, the Samaritans delayed the completion of the temple for nearly 40 years, and the relationship between the two communities was permanently damaged.

As such, other parts of the Bible (written by the returned Judean exiles) give the Samaritans a rather unfavorable origin story. It says that they are not Israelites by blood--that they are polytheists who were brought in to Israel by the Assyrians to replace its native population. (For what it’s worth, judging by genetics, the Samaritans are descended both from native Israelites and resettled people brought in by Assyria, so both are kind of correct.) While Jews still begrudgingly acknowledged that the Samaritans followed essentially the same religious rules as they themselves did, they were labelled not fully Jewish. Intermarriage with Samaritans was banned and from then on the communities became quite separate, with Samaritans regarding the Jews as mistaken and the Jews looking down upon the Samaritans as lesser. Thus the story of the good Samaritan in the Gospels and the general idea that they should not be engaged, etc.

So I guess Mohammed turned this into their original sin or something even though Samaria didn’t exist then?? Anyway Allah is god etc and that’s the end of this very dumb story. We’ll stop there.

NEXT TIME: Doom, doom, Iblis, doom

The Quran Read-Along: Day 113

Ayat: 19

Good: 1 (20:82)

Neutral: 17 (20:83-99)

Bad: 1 (20:81)

Kuffar hell counter: 0

⇚ previous day | next day ⇛

[nightmare-fantasia]

Things I Have Been Needing To Get Off My Chest.

{Hello folks! It is I, your friendly neighborhood Oddball speaking. I am making this post to inform everyone as to why I have continuously disappeared these past few weeks. This post will probably get kind of long, and will probably mostly me ranting and venting. So do not feel obligated to read this. ^>^

  Recently I have begun to wonder what my place on this site truly is. Sure my blog may be nothing great to look at, but it’s functional and works for me. That is beside the point...  When I leave for these long intervals, I wonder how many of my mutuals truly miss me. I know not everyone likes ooc chat, so that’s fine. I have no problem with that. It’s just... I don’t know. There are times, especially as of late, where I have started to feel as if I have hit some sort of roadblock. I follow new people, make sure to read rules and send in passwords if requested of the mun, etc. But now... 99% of the time I get nothing. Nothing even acknowledging the fact that I have read their rules. I mean... Why even bother to reach out to people when they hardly ever show you the same courtesy?

  I know this is about roleplay, and it’s a hobby and it should be fun, yadda yadda. Still... It hurts after awhile. When you put so much time and effort into creating your characters like I do, trying to give them at least somewhat fleshed out backstories... It starts to feel like a wasted effort. Sure I know I could do a lot better on my part about sending in asks and all that, but sometimes even those get ignored. Usually, it is because tumblr ate it, and I eventually resend it and things get worked out. Other times... Nothing. 

   Do not even get me started on opens and starters. Sure if I write a starter for a very good mutual of mine we get somewhere, and the same with those I do not know well. But eventually, they just stop replying, so I assume they have just lost interest which happens. When it happens consistently though... I start giving up. And opens just aren’t worth the effort when you start to feel no one even looks at them. 

   I have also tried for many years to follow canon blogs of series I enjoy because I do get excited about the possibility of one of my Oc’s interacting with canon characters. And I do love making new verses for them, getting to see how they would fit into different universes, what their abilities might be, and so on. But now these days it feels as if it is nearly impossible to get a canon blog even glance at mine... Especially since mine is a multi-muse Oc blog. Where did this stigma against multi-muses come from? I have never been able to figure it out. 

   This post is by no means supposed to be a callout post, but whatever. I also need to get this off of my chest. I personally love the show RWBY, and I have enjoyed roleplaying my Oc Raven in that universe. I love it so much that I have been thinking of revamping the entire verse because of some things that have come to light in the most recent episodes. 

   ...Once again I got off track. Where I was going with this was I wonder if it is worth the time and effort. It seems as if many people in the RWBY fandom who rp canon characters are either super selective about Oc’s, and at times just do not allow them at all. For all intents and purposes, I have nothing against this in theory. I also know people have had bad experiences with Oc’s in the past that may make them wary of Oc’s. That is totally understandable. In any case, it seems like it is nearly impossible to make it as some sort of RWBY Oc blog or a person who has a RWBY verse for a character unless they already know someone in the fandom.  Connections I guess have become extremely important in the rpc it seems these days. Connections that I do not have. So what am I to do? And is it worth spreading my wings into a fandom I know to be toxic? Probably not... Even though I desperately want to. I want to be able to explore the ideas I have with people, but my god does the FNDM fucking terrify me. For the time being, it is probably for the best that I do not pursue any of this for the high possibility of getting hate because that is the last thing I need right now. 

   Hmm... I do not have much more to say, really. All I know is that I do not know where I belong on here anymore. Sometimes I wonder if myself or my characters actually have any sort of impact on people. Probably not... I don’t consider myself a very memorable person. At times I wonder if my characters reflect that sentiment. I bet they do. 

   Well... That’s all I have to say for now. I am not sure where I am going from here, but I may just not be on tumblr a bit longer. So if you want a better place to reach me here is my Discord: The Oddball#0127. And if you have read this shit show of a post, thank you. It really means a lot to me. ^>^}

[thatfunkyopossum-side]

Of course! I have my failings, but I do try to listen to people when I’m being criticized. Everyone’s a person, and I do my best to keep that in mind and treat them with kindness and care whenever I’m interacting with others (even if I sometimes forget). Its easy to lash out and ignore things, but much more rewarding to try and learn.

I myself am actually disabled! Most of my disabilities are in my brain, but I also have chronic pain that interferes with my day to day life. My dearest loved ones are disabled as well, one of whom needs mobility aids. My spinal and muscular issues are congenital, but my tendinitis is acquired. I have a very personal vested interest in Star Wars representing disabled folks!

I’m not sure how good of a place the clones are though for introducing characters with congenital disabilities, specifically if they’re clones that ever made it to the battlefield. The only clone we ever see who’s disabled is 99, and he’s a maintenance clone. Maybe there were plenty of clones who washed out and stayed on Kamino, maybe there were plenty of others who were never trained in the first place due to disabilities they were born with, maybe others were trained until those disabilities became apparent. I’d like to note that I’m talking more broadly than just Tech here, because if he had a congenital eyesight issue its perfectly possible that his “desirable mutations” as the show puts it were able to get his foot in the door to become a soldier.

I suppose its kind of difficult for me to put into words. Yes, the representation of people is important, and I want it. At the same time, some representation can come at the cost of story impact because of the accepting atmosphere that it can imply. I’m very fond of clones with very realistic disabilities that come about from war. I’m sort of just spitballing at this point so, again, i’m sorry if I say anything offensive because I’m just trying to put my feelings into words and i am not the most knowledgeable sort, but I feel as if the presence of congenitally disabled clones on the battle field in its own way does take away from the tragedy and horror of the environment the clones were raised in, where the pressure to be “perfect” was literally life or death. I don’t know what would be lost if, instead of there being canon clones with congenital disabilities, we instead had a cast of clones with acquired disabilities, and natborns with congenital and/or acquired disabilities.

Anyway, I hope I haven’t upset you further, and thank you for your time.

Can I offer y’all up a tech? 👀 I took his goggles bc they just… idk they felt dumb to me. Why would a clone need glasses. Anyhow I hope y’all like him!

Pls reblog to support me<3 

[southsideshitheads]

#16 - How To Be a Third-Wheel

One day I showed up at Joe’s house for a bike ride. His plan was us to bike over by the school where his girlfriend Jenn lived.

I was excited because I didn’t hang out with Joe one-on-one much. In fact, this was the first time. But I was also excited because I didn’t hang out with Jenn either. And I certainly never hung out with a couple before. I was happy to tag along out of pure curiosity - what did it look like to hang out as a boyfriend and girlfriend? I would get my question answered today.

So Joe and I hit our bikes and headed off, zooming past houses recently built and others run-down.

We biked around the playground that we didn’t feel too old for yet. At Cicero Avenue - this huge 6 lane street that cuts through Chicago and the South Suburbs, we waited for the traffic to stop. As we crossed over, we thought about grabbing a 99 cent slushie at the Speedway but decided against it. We were crossing in in Sward territory, one of the elementary schools that fed into the middle school. There were four: Sward, Covington, Hannum, and Hometown. Joe and I lived in the Hannum district. “She lives near Sward?” I asked.

“Nah, she went to Covington,” Joe answered.

We pulled up at Jenn’s house, and Joe texted her. “Why don’t you just ring her doorbell?” I asked.

“Her parents are home,” he said. Whatever that meant.

A moment later, she popped out of the front door. We waved to her, but she wasn’t in a great mood.

“We should get out of here now; I don’t want my dad to realize I’m gone.”

It was 2 o’ clock on a Saturday? How over-protective did her dad need to be?

So Jenn got on Joe’s bike seat, and he just biked without sitting. We headed a ways to a playground near her house.

We got off our bikes and Jenn still wanted to talk, so we hung off the rail to a wood bridge that lead to some money bars. “I can’t wait till I’m back with my mom tomorrow night,” she slumped over a monkey bar.

“Did you ask her about cutting him off when we start high school?” Joe asked.

“Yeah, but he still wants to see me. It fucking sucks. All he does is bark when I’m at his house.”

Joe kissed her on the forehead, and we hopped off the playground equipment and headed over to a huge oak tree etched with dozens of initials, ‘+’ signs, and hearts. But I didn't see any initials or markings that Joe and Jenn may have made.

Jenn was kind of putting a damper on things. She was free from the house and still griping about her folks. This was not how I thought our day would start, but I think Joe did.

Jenn leaned against the tree and pulled Joe closer, and they kissed.

……..

And then they started kiss-ING. And I was just standing there…

“Uum,” I said. “Guys?”

They moved to full-on making out. And I was still here.

And I realized I probably wasn’t suppose to be here anymore, so I headed back to my bike and waited a moment. But they weren’t stopping.

Kind of a rip-off if you asked me. Before I biked off to enjoy the rest of my day, I took one more look at that etched tree and caught sight of one marking in a heart directly above Joe and Jenn. It read:

​U + ME.

I understood that I didn’t quite understand.

Wisdom of Ignorance:

1. People are dealing with things that we know nothing about. Take the necessary role.

2. Even in middle school, dating isn’t just hand-holding.

3. There will be days you will begin with friends and end by yourself. Take joy in both moments.

[zipsiii]

I ask you to answer 1-100 go!

1. What's your middle name, and do you like it?

It's Inkeri. I don't really have any strong feelings about it

2. are you artistic?

nooo. the most artistic thing I can kinda do is makeup.

3. Have you had your first kiss?

yes

4. What is your life goal?

to be in a situation where I don't have to stress about money

5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person?

I met Vic Fuentes when I was queuing for their gig in 2013. It was freezing cold so he couldn't take photos with us all but he took one group photo and posted it on his instagram. 

6. Do you play any sports?

nope

7. What's your worst fear?

idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8. Who's your biggest inspiration?

is it wrong if I say Harry Styles

9. Do you have any cool talents?

well I can sit on the couch for two days straight without doing anything special, if that counts

10. are you a morning person?

hell no. I can wake up early if I have to but I prefer not to.

11. How do you feel about pet names?

they're okay I guess

12. Do you like to read?

I do though I've been in a reading slump for a while

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

Queer as Folk, Supernatural, Skam, Charmed, Moomins... 

14. Do you care about your follower count?

not that much anymore

15. What's the best dream you've had?

the one where I had my life figured out

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

yes

17. Do you have any pets?

nope

18. Are you religious?

no

19. Are you a people person?

definitely no

20. Are you considered popular?

no

21. What is one of your bad habits?

overthinking

22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerable

not knowing simple things 

23. What would you name your children?

idk some cool name

24. Who's your celebrity crush?

atm it's Cody Rhodes

25. What's your best subject?

//

26. Dogs or cats?

both, the more the merrier

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

twitter

28. best friends name

//

29. who does your main family consist of

Mom, dad, and a brother

30. Chocolate or sugar

both ofc

31. have you ever been on a date?

yes

32. Do you like rollercosters?

I don't have strong feelings

33. Can you swim?

yes

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

I'd like to say that I'd try to survive as long as possible but that might be a lie

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder

yes

36. Are your parents together?

yes

37. What's your favourite colour?

Purple

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Finland

39. Favourite singer?

There's too many to list

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

nope

41. Do you like dresses?

omg yess!!

42. Favourite song right now?

Kingdom by Downstait and Dust Into Diamonds by Lovex

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

depends who I'm talking about it with

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

9 I think

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

no

46. Have you ever done yoga?

yes and I love it

47. Are you a horror girl?

no

48. Are you good at giving advice?

hehe no

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

can't be bothered

50. How are you doing today?

good

51. Were you a cute kid?

probs, idk

52. Can you dance?

no

53. Is there anything you do that you can't remember ever not doing?

tumblr

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

yes, I don't have purple hair naturally

55. What colour are your eyes?

green

56. What's your favourite animal?

any animal

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

too many times to count

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

it's pretty good

59. Do you have good friends?

yes

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

well I'm pretty close with myself

61. What's your favourite class?

any class that ends before it's supposed to

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Code Black, Vikings, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Quantico, HTGAWM, Modern Family, Travelers 

63. Are you organized?

I try to be

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

Kingsman and I looove it

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

idk

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

anxiety and laziness

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

watching tv probably

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

eternal life sounds horrible so I'd find a way to die 

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

go running or go to the gym

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

probs many thing

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

yes

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I don\t even remember cause it's been so long

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

safety

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

studying

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I didn't really have a dream job as a kid but I think I wanted to be a teacher at some point

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

what dreams

79.When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

//

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

Study and graduate.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

productive

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

As I already said, I'd try to find a way to die

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

charity and kickstarters

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

past

85. What motivates you to succeed?

the fear of failure

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

idk I never remember my dreams that well

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

in the city

88. Do you believe in life after death

no

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

none

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

gardening with my parents

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Louis Tomlinson

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

a very good pro wrestling match

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

that life isn't fair

94. What do you think happens after we die?

hopefully we just die and nothing happens

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I'd find out all the Larry secrets

96. What's something you can't do no matter how hard you try?

run a marathon

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

what kinda question is this

98. How did your first crush develop?

as if I remembered my first crush

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yeah, the feeling that I'm just a huge disappointment to all

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

do I exist. Am I real. No one knows

[theliterateape]

Why Don't You Recognize Your Own Story, Evangelicals?

By Chris Churchill Listen, I was raised in a relatively fundamentalist Christian Church. I understand a strict interpretation of the Bible but I also understand there are parts of the Bible, namely the prophetic parts that are (conveniently) highly metaphorical. So Christians listen to those who’ve studied the Bible, presumably their pastors, preachers, elders, ministers; whatever it is they call themselves. I’m certain that 99 percent of Bible believers don’t have any understanding of the symbolism in these prophetic books.

I tried to tackle them a couple times and it seemed about as arbitrary as reading tea leaves or finding shapes in the clouds. But over the centuries a lot of these meanings have become accepted by the authorities in our churches. Those leaders then pass those meanings onto the masses. So really, most well-meaning religious folk can only honestly report that “I’ve been told by a preacher that that Bible section means—”or really, as I’ll be saying for the rest of this piece: “This is what I heard.”

This is what I heard, growing up, in regards to “the end of the world” as predicted in the Bible. I heard that there would be a “Rapture” where all God’s chosen would be swept up to be with God “in the twinkling of an eye.” That “no one would know the time or the hour” of Jesus’ return. That there would be a great tribulation, lasting seven years, for those left behind. During that tribulation, people would only be able to do business if they had the mark of the beast, “666” on their “forehead” or their hand. 

I’d always heard that Jesus would return in the same generation that saw Israel become its own nation once again. I’d always heard that the world would unite against Jerusalem. 

I’d always heard that there would be an Anti-Christ, also know as the “Great Deceiver” and the “Prince Of The Power Of The Air,” or even the Whore of Babylon. This person would be so charismatic that he could fool legions of people.  This stuff probably sounds familiar to anyone still involved in a fundamentalist church or still with vivid memories of a childhood raised in it.  I know this digital magazine isn’t generally the forum for anything bordering on religion but I have found I have quite the talent for belaboring a metaphor. Allow me to do that several times more in this piece for the purpose of making a very large point. The point being, “When Did You Stop Believing Your Own Story, Evangelicals?” And “When don’t you recognize your own Beast?” Let’s look at these prophecies that the most devoted, self-proclaimed Christians have believed with their very beings since they first sobbed at the altar in front of a tithing audience.  “The Rapture” is always portrayed as like a magic trick. One day, without warning, Jesus will come down out of the sky and, “in the twinkling of an eye,” the good people will be raised up to Heaven to be with God. Well, what if “in the twinkling of an eye” wasn’t in reference to a measure of time (i.e. an instant) but rather a way that the event was seen by all those watching. The twinkling of an eye that occurs when we are watching any of our chosen screens. All the stories we watch twinkle their lights in our eyes. Maybe we already watched it happen. That’s the only way that no one could have known the hour or the day for these events; we didn’t recognize it when it was actually happening. Come on, evangelicals. Sounds as true as anything, doesn’t it?

What about this 666 number? There are two ways to go here. If you like satisfying numerical conclusions in your prophecy, try this one on for size: 666+666+666+6+6+6=2016.  That’s when the Rapture happened and no one recognized it. Good job, Jesus. What am I talking about? First: what have we always said the Rapture would be? All of God’s chosen going to join Him “in the twinkling of an eye.”

Go back and look at the sheer number and quality of celebrities and personal relations we lost that year. Also, think back to how you felt as story after story of this amazing artist, leader, thinker after another were gone too soon. They all disappeared to be “with God” (because “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord”) in “the twinkling of an eye” (i.e.on tv). There are those of you that will try to call these conclusions based on technicalities and little known new information. You might be right but that would be irrelevant. If the point was just to make people perceive a thing then the perception of the thing is the point, not the facts. It’s a secret message to you, evangelicals, isn’t it?

Here’s the other thing about 666. People “in the church” are always looking for 666, “The Mark of the Beast” so they’ll be able to warn everyone about the end being near. I remember people saying it was Ronald Wilson Reagan just because of the number of letters in each of his names. I also saw a clip floating around the Internet where a woman was trying to show us that the logo for “Monster” energy drink was 666. Then it occurred to me that the Hebrew letters “www” have the numerical value of 666.

I’d always been taught that all of humanity would gladly accept the “mark of the beast” on their forehead or their hands because, without the mark, no one can participate in society. And, look, evangelicals, we can barely communicate, eat, do business without the internet either in our head or in our hands (computers, smartphones, etc.) Just like I always heard growing up in the church, we all participate and have taken this Mark of the Beast. In fact, I think Apple will tempt us with a new Mark of the Beast next spring. 

So Jesus was supposed to return in the same generation that Israel was restored to its people. Of course, any good apocalyptic evangelical knows that happened in 1948 when modern Israel was established. So it’s been 70 years. Psalm 90 even says “The days of our years are threescore and 10”. That’s 70 years. So He should be back anytime. Only no one can know when, right? But like I said, it will happen and no one will recognize it. That’s how that will work. 

Then Israel will have the whole world opposed to it. Well, recent news in Gaza has Israel doing things that have the world furious with them. Netanyahu would have us believe that we in the USA are their only ally. Maybe the USA is that “New Jerusalem” the Bible takes about? Maybe not. 

So who would fit the bill as this Anti-Christ? Maybe, as I was always taught, he’d be someone who claimed to be Christian but served a different master. As Jesus said, “One cannot serve two masters. You cannot serve God and money.” That one, evangelicals conveniently forget all the time.

God, as the Bible clearly states, is Love. It’s money or Love. So I’ve heard people say they voted for Trump because he was already rich and so he couldn’t be bought. To those people I’ll say, I agree that he can’t be bought...because he’s already owned...by money. He’s owned by the master of the thing that is the opposite of Love. The AntiChrist. Sure. I guess that could be any rich businessman but let’s keep going.

The Anti-Christ is to be “The Prince Of The Power Of The Air.” I remember as a kid truly wanting to understand what they could mean. What did it mean when they first wrote it? Maybe it didn’t mean anything when they first wrote it because it was meant to be understood by the people reading about it in the future time when it would all happen.

If that’s the case, then it would have to be a “Great Deceiver” (the best liar the world has ever known) that did the bulk of his deception through mediated channels, I.e. the airwaves. The air. That’s TV. That’s the internet. That’s the media. Someone who is a master manipulator of media would be “The Prince Of The Power Of The Air.” But if he’s the prince, then he wouldn’t be the AntiChrist I’d always been taught about, would he? Correct.

He’d be the “False Prophet” that serves the agenda of a more powerful King that stands against Love. Putin seems the obvious choice here, evangelicals. He rules a place that you have called Godless for the last 100 years. He’s never denied or renounced it’s atheism. But, suddenly, because Trump says it’s fine, you’re fine with it. (“Trump” or “Trump/Pence” by the way. Like the “Trump”s or “Trumpets” mentioned in Revelation.) 

I feel like a lot of this stuff should seem pretty obvious to those who learned it in church. But why is it ignored when it so clearly matches your own prophecy? Because you want to ignore it. There’s a small, selfish, fearful spot inside you that blinds you to your own weaknesses.  But seriously, maybe this piece can lift the veil for you. 

I’ve seen a few focus group style interviews with “Christians” who blindly support our president even though they know he’s a vile human being. Some say it’s because “He’s ordained by God.” Doesn’t mean you have to be complicit with the Devil just because it’s supposed to happen. You’re supposed to resist evil, even when you think you might lose. 

I’ve heard others say, “he fulfills our agenda”, in which case, you’re making a deal with the devil.  Or don’t you recognize your own “Beast” as the “Beast”?

[drmarkwrites-blog]

“No More Church In The Woods” (7/15/18)

“Exalt the Lord our holy God! Bow low before his feet.”  (Psalm 99:5 LVB)

Before my calling to the ministry and before I really knew better and thought I was satisfying God and my family obligations simultaneously, I used to occasionally take our family on the first day of the week to a nearby park with a little sandy beach.  I worked hard during the week; weekend went to fast and I wanted to spend time with my family.  I did not fully realize or perhaps I just conveniently ignored hat Sunday was a day where the saints of God assembled together.  When we got to the park, prepared to picnic and participate in fun games, we had a brief worship service that I would lead.  If I led worship services as fast as I did then, my church today would have to move to the largest venue in town for surely everyone could withstand a 15-minute service; perhaps equaling only a fourth of the old time traditional devotion.  I called the opening segment of our excursion “Church in the Woods.”  My adult children are reading this I’m sure and are shaking their heads!  Thank God, that despite my bad influence over 38 years ago or so, they have grown to realize the importance of worshipping with the saints in the sacred place called the house of God!  I’m being transparent with you, so you won’t make the same mistake and miss out what I missed out on!  By forsaking the assembly of the saints, I missed being encouraged by somebody else’s testimony of where God brought them from! I missed out on confirmation that what God had done for somebody else, He would do the same for me.  I missed out on some things, indeed!  I missed seeing the dynamics of being in the special presence of God!  I missed songs that solidified church members’ decision to follow Jesus and depend on the sovereign God as they surrendered to Him!  I missed seeing criminals come to Christ, backsliders coming back, heavy laden folks laying their burdens down and leaving them there!  I missed the Holy Spirit showing up and showing out; making people move, shout and run all about!  And you know what I missed most? (You are supposed to respond, “What?’}  Most of all I missed out on the preaching of God’s word!  I missed the specific message that was sent for a specific purpose by the specific messenger…just for me!  No more “Church in the Woods” for me on Sunday morning…ever again!  Wherever I find myself, I am going to make my way to the house of the Lord!  I hope you do the same today!  Oh, before I close, you can pass on any of these mediations to someone you know needs them!  If you know somebody that has not been attending worship or has yet to see the relevance of worship, be sure to pass this one on right now!  Then, call that person or persons and tell them to check this out!  Have a great day at church my friend!

“On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, Sing yourselves into his presence.  Know this: God is God, and God, God. He made us; we didn’t make him. We’re his people, his well-tended sheep. Enter with the password: “Thank you!” Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him.  For God is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.” (Psalm 100 MSG)

Still committed to the climb, Mark L. King

[jo5huaray]

can i express how i feel today?

why is that everytime someone wants something good in their life.....there has to be something or someone to ruin it? yin and yang? good and bad? without one, you can have the other? makes sense. has too. and if it doesnt, does that make you blind to reality? you living in your own reality where things are make believe? dreamland? how could someone live there knowing that isnt the reality that we live in? would that consume you mentally? and if it didn't, would you actually be living your life? yolo? i mean you would have to actually dream it and make it reality but you necessarily couldnt because you would dwell to much on that reality of yours and get lost in the idea of actually making it. so i guess in terms, you have to know when to leave your box, and expand without losing the fire. hmmm.....you think some people actually think, "my life is actually amazing" when in reality its not. i mean that could be their reality or idea of what life being good is.....just because its different from your idea of a good life doesnt make it any less dumb or not "good" enough. but where im going with this is, can people actually go through life things about what they can be doing instead of what they are actually doing? i mean you have to get to a certain point where you see someone actually try to progress and be like "hey you are doing it!!" or "fucking told you so" and find humor in someone elses bad luck.....but im a strong believer that people go through life not trying to succeed and love to stay in their shell and cry wolf when no one has time for them or can make time. its like are we suppose to wait for you to decide when its time to change. katt williams said it ffucking right when he said it," cant be fucking with people doing the same shit every year" "them people are the unhealthy people that will drag you down" " if you gotta succeed alone then so be it, at least you arent being held back by those who call you their friends"

guess you can say im not in the best mood atm, pretty down, wouldnt say depressed. my kids are happy. and healthy. shit to healthy i think. i do miss them. rather be with them at this very moment instead of this place or surrounding. but things and people are stopping me from that currently. im the type of person who cant get anger constantly.....i have 3 modes. anger and im attacking. anger and i cry because it did it to myself. or happy and burying what i have bury to no get emotional. you dont know how many people have told me you do this to yourself joshua.....like a fucking record thats skipping. and i finally realize the reason i keep making immature mistakes. i cant hate....truly hate someone if they were to mess with my babies. and my dog. and my computer lol. but truly hate someone who done me wrong? i mean my dad use to beat the shit out of me. my mom as well.....mostly females who loved the idea of being with me or wanted to be with me. i cant truly hate none of them....so i guess you can say i relaspe until i figure a soultion inbetween hating them and being their slave. relaspe like a user and my drug is female......well the idea of being in love like they would see me. my idea of being in love and being able to love someone excites me. but it cant be just anyone....definitely cant be anyone. and i tend to jump from one to another because that fizz isnt there anymore. the cheating. the lying......i have yet to have someone constantly keep my entertained like i would think they would want too. i mean the concept of,"if you dont do it someone else will" and most people nowadays settle for it keep the hope alive. that idea of being loved and loving alive.....but why? should the couple understand that concept because how more real can it get? i mean if you dont buy flowers for her someone else will. if you dont make him dinner someone else will. if you dont tell her you love her like people need air and show her, someone definitely will come along and tell her and that and actually mean it. if you dont fucking him or keep him satifisted, you know damn well someone will be waiting for that text saying, "hey wyd" and you dont believe that....its ok eventually you will have to figure it out or be stuck in a constant loop for immature relationship or immature adults who act like big ol babies

i honestly feel like crying my eyes out. or leaving and crying in my truck....what good will that do me? probably make my eyes look like shit and hurt, thus not worth it. even though i know its not worth it, i still feel the sense of sadness growing inside of me. like a sickness you werent prepared for. no medicine can help you and only you can help yourself. but yeah that brings it back to me not being able to truly hate someone. what will hating them get me? make me feel better? temporary? sure maybe but would it be worth it to bring someone down with my lashing of constant bombardement of hateful words and degrading comments? yeah definitely bring their asses to the reality they may not be seeing or what they caused me to do. reaction to their action? not the best choice thats why i choose not to be a hateful person. even though i know some would say go for it. use it to make yourself beat this sickness they call sadness........they been telling me that since day 1 and you think i choose to do it yet? lol i just cant. the cheaters, liars, the "its you and not me", the "i love you but not in love with you" yeah i cant. idk hate me cause i cant stand up and do it. i just dont feel the need to do it. and thats the main reason i slip....relaspe back to the idea of actually being loved by these so called girls.....i cant call you women because you havent shown me enough to actually be a woman. but im not innocent bystander. ive done it all and im not proud it either but i can dwell on it as i do it because why sit here and love someone who isnt texting you or talking to you or attempting to be with you and expect you to sit here waiting with you bent over like you ready about to get fucked? lol literally majority of people want you to wait on them if you are their friend or if you love them....like what shit you smoking.....waiting on hand and foot yet you give me a pinky of time and attention? thats not being mean nor hateful in my opinion. thats just common sense....shit i would expect that if i wasnt fucking or loving a girl i was interested in. thats why i never text first... if im important or whatever ( with certain exceptions of course! lol hey grey areas) then you would make time for me....best believe if you text me or call me, and i find you highly attractive or actually like you, you wont just get one text or two....maybe like a series of questions or a poem lol lol or something to bring you closer mentally and physcially lol but thats just it. you cant race to win and stop racing......keep it pushin! never stop. yeah its alot of work but wtf you think we are here for? to obtain this lifes best by simply hopefully for it to happen? yeah some are fortunated the others but then mostly 99% of people arent that fortunate that others....the bottom, down in the slumps where you either sit there and regret it your entire life you never actually bust the ass to obtain your "reality".

the idea of being love by those who i know cant love me truly like i want to be love consumes me entirely where i forget about the life im living in itself. the life i picture for myself ( and yes my kids as well for those of you who acutally thought i wouldnt picture a life without my bootoo, hot ness, and Jilee) that life i picture does come with someone who actually loves me like ive always preached. i always swapped between one or the other because of negatives or defaults that may have had....or push them away on purpose so i wouldnt have to be the bad guy, and in reality, my reality, i wanted them to be like the previous one. or the next one so jumping from one to another, hoping they would take from the last to be better than the last is only a fragment of my imagnation playing tricks on me. lying to myself to make my reality seem livable with in reality, its not. thus the cycle begins and repeats....jump to this one....oh you wanna be loved forever and be happy.....but cant keep me focused on us. then the next one, oh you always had bad boyfriends and just want someone to understand you, but yet you dont take the time to actually understand who i am or what we actually have to be a couple.....these days people say, "50/50" and yet i laugh my ass off cause these ignorant fools dont understand that it has to be 100/100. hell you can even say 150/150 if you want. if you are those type of highly expectation folks......why would anyone want 50% of what someone has to offer? tell me how that math even makes fucking sense.....tell me how someone is suppose to stay in a relationship or be with someone who they give more than the other? cant do that math because its impossible. actually not impossible, possible just fucking retarded lmao. whoever decides that is only harming themselves and the other person. so lets do that math now 50/50....breaks even with 50 cross the board. so she gets 50 and you get 50. not the full 100...so would would anyone want that?.....meaning you both get nothing in the end with that analogy. 100/50? left with 50.....and ill let you be the guess on whose left with the 50%.....cause if you guessed the person only giving half...you seriously need to go back to 3rd grade and learn the basic fundenmentals of math lmao....ok 100/100? you get her all and she gets your all....that works. definitely can see that working. would have to second guess your love or hers. probably would have time to even think about whats wrong or what could go wrong because you would be in the reality you just fucking made? and the funny part, she would be right there with you!!! lmao making sense now? the 150/150 is for those selected few who are over acheivers and know how to actually give 150% of who they are. think about it.....how could someone give 150% of themselves to another? and no not tissue or blood you fucks.

[junker-town]

99 of the best, weirdest, and funniest highlights from college football’s 2017 season

We had some gems.

With the 2017 college football season in the books, what better way to commemorate it with the best GIFs and videos from the season?

First, we start with you all, the fans.

The first Thursday night game of the season gave us this glorious middle finger/surrender cobra combo, from Indiana fans watching their team lose to Ohio State.

These unsuspecting Auburn fans got stuck in the hedges while attempting to celebrate the Tigers’ Iron Bowl win over Alabama.

LSU’s band began playing during a Florida Tom Petty tribute, and this Gator fan was not having it:

THE TERPS SHOWED UP FOR GAME DAY ( : @totalfratmove) http://pic.twitter.com/BKL9SJvFqA

— SB Nation (@SBNation) September 23, 2017

Down. go. the. goal. post #MissionPossible #BeAGovBeAChampion http://pic.twitter.com/5egzzA93B0

— Austin Peay Football (@AustinPeayFB) September 17, 2017

Stay until the end of this one:

Tennessee gets its own special section, because well, it was a hell of a season.

The Vols fired Butch Jones and hired Jeremy Pruitt, but the season had some, uh, highlights. First! The video that sums up the Florida-Tennessee rivalry, filled with deep-seated hatred and debauchery.

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I hate that we lost but at least our players don't represent our team like this. I love a rivalry but be classy about it EDIT: I know our fans have done questionable things. They shouldn't have peed on the tebow statue but I'm not saying this over and over again: players are supposed to be controlled by coaches and fans are not. This is a representation of the control Jim Mcelwain and staff has on its players. If this was a Tennessee player I would be embarrassed. Athletes are held to a higher standard.

Posted by Chandler Cox on Saturday, September 16, 2017

Vols fighting Vols, an annual tradition:

When someone tries to tell you that Butch Jones is actually a good coach http://pic.twitter.com/9fOLIwkCFb

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 30, 2017

And during Tennessee’s home game against LSU, its damn stadium decided to fall apart.

Football fans vs Wind in Neyland http://pic.twitter.com/XhiD3RXDXJ

— CFB Gif'er (@CFBgifer) November 19, 2017

In a nutshell:

Aaaand the Vols lost to Florida on a last-second pass, too.

The Vols also had a turnover trash can on their sideline, which gave us this missed celebration dunk:

Moving on! Some of the best sideline moments of the season

Florida Atlantic coach Lane Kiffin caught a football with one hand, and one of his players was blown away.

On a related Lane note:

Yep, that's a real life Lane Kiffin Train at FAU. Watch Kiffin and @FAU_Football take on Marshall tonight at 6 PM ET on CBS Sports Network! http://pic.twitter.com/lt3iEHfQdw

— CBS Sports Network (@CBSSportsNet) November 3, 2017

Kudos to USC’s cheerleaders, some of whom were extremely into the fighting going on behind them ...

... and some of whom just ignored it to keep right on cheering:

Mississippi State players dancing while their head coach is incensed is my aesthetic:

NSFW:

Look at Mark Richt’s ups!

Sour Patch Kids = game day fuel.

82-Year-old Lee Corso still got moves http://pic.twitter.com/LS3o9wjDKF

— gifdsports (@gifdsports) October 1, 2017

This reporter is lucky to still be breathing http://pic.twitter.com/k0RJcePc8n

— Barstool Sports (@barstooltweetss) September 1, 2017

Florida State’s 2017 season was incredibly weird, and this angry Jimbo Fisher GIF sums up the year pretty well:

Trouble in Paradise - Get back coach edition. #BetrayalOfTrust http://pic.twitter.com/TYlTSaXTCO

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) October 1, 2017

Miami had the year’s most beloved turnover prop, but Kennesaw State had the most lovable ...

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The Kennesaw State Turnover Plank is the best trophy in football

This is the Kennesaw State Owls turnover plank, college football's BEST turnover trophy. The full story: http://ift.tt/2AKNefx

Posted by SB Nation College Football on Friday, November 17, 2017

... Texas A&M had the weirdest ...

.. and Wisconsin mocked Miami’s chain mercilessly in the Orange Bowl:

Put that chain on and rip it off! @BadgerFootball http://pic.twitter.com/b0IUL88pXW

— Trent Keitel (@TrentKeitel) December 31, 2017

"Turnover chain my f***in ass" - Paul Chryst http://pic.twitter.com/acd7wx3lxp

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) December 31, 2017

Refs greatest hits, 2017

When the mic’s broke:

DOINK!

These are just hilarious, and there’s no other way to categorize them, folks.

This extra point THAT WAS GOOD makes me laugh out loud every time.

best extra point ever? http://pic.twitter.com/L6xgtdB9Qi

— Dr. Saturday (@YahooDrSaturday) October 8, 2017

Have you ever seen a punter get sacked?

TFW the turf legit splits in the middle of the Big Ten Championship.

Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy and quarterback Mason Rudolph both went shirtless during a pep rally:

BYU’s mascot went viral for its dance moves, so Mississippi State’s accepted the challenge.

What did the five fingers say to the face?

Having some trouble on defense? Just throw a towel like UCLA did! (Yes, this could’ve been a penalty.)

A UCLA DL just threw a towel at a pass. Isn't that a penalty? http://pic.twitter.com/BdXtVV73CE

— Sam Spangler (@SamSpanglerKHON) September 9, 2017

Ohio state QB coach Ryan Day was caught digging for gold:

NC State poked fun at Louisville basketball’s FBI investigation pretty cleverly:

OK, onto more serious on-field matters here: Catches!

Awesome catch by player on football team you didn’t know existed alert: http://pic.twitter.com/elToudDNZQ

— Dieter Kurtenbach (@dkurtenbach) September 1, 2017

Florida’s offensive highlight of the year, tbh:

http://pic.twitter.com/xi45yn8e4S

— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) September 23, 2017

Wanna see a 6’2, 308-pound defensive lineman score a touchdown? Enter Da’Ron Payne:

Some running backs did merciless things to defenders this season, too.

Bolu Olorunfunmi! Just WOW. #UOvsUCLA@UCLAFootball with the lead. Watch: https://t.co/ZLABag9Ytt http://pic.twitter.com/8Xmi2PDINl

— Pac-12 Network (@Pac12Network) October 21, 2017

Hawai'i is only down 14; still getting dragged http://pic.twitter.com/m5GnW046to

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 29, 2017

The Baker Mayfield experience

Baker Mayfield on his Johnny Manziel bullshit http://pic.twitter.com/BnTvhCaNiW

— 5th Year (@5thYear) November 18, 2017

Baker Mayfield plants the OU flag in the Ohio State logo at midfield http://pic.twitter.com/Ovas203PqP

— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 10, 2017

There were some unfortunate moments, too.

This Boise State pick-six ended up being a Troy fumble that turned into a Boise touchback.

Fireworks and a celebration for an incomplete pass?!?! http://pic.twitter.com/bSjRAIVY7m

— CBS Sports Network (@CBSSportsNet) September 3, 2017

UConn hadn’t won in so long that its quarterback had to practice a kneeldown!

It's been awhile for UCONN http://pic.twitter.com/ndQD013k61

— Chris Hassel (@Hassel_Chris) September 1, 2017

Another summation of Florida State’s 2017 season:

One of Sam Darnold’s many turnovers, but this one wasn’t his fault!

Tackled into a damn marimba:

This dang 87-yard fumble gets its own section, because it was extra special.

This play resulted in a loss of almost 90 yards. HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL? http://pic.twitter.com/gsD9GulNaF

— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) September 10, 2017

Animals made for some interesting moments this season, as always.

SQUIRREL TOUCHDOWN REPEAT: SQUIRREL TOUCHDOWN http://pic.twitter.com/IHFJdqEP6b

— FOX Sports South (@FOXSportsSouth) September 23, 2017

Ole Miss changed its sideline mascot from a Rebel to Landshark, and Auburn’s band wasted no time poking fun at them for it. A shark mascot is an animal, don’t @ me.

So the landshark did make an appearance at Auburn today. Or maybe Left Shark, possibly Right Shark. Anyway, Aubie is wearing the costume. http://pic.twitter.com/6pZ8MckOFD

— Tyler Greever (@Tyler_Greever) October 7, 2017

Double tap if touchdown rabbit should win the Heisman Comment if you miss touchdown squirrel from earlier this season

A post shared by FOX Sports (@foxsports) on Oct 14, 2017 at 10:18pm PDT

Big 12 fox back:

ASU's FG try is no good! We're scoreless after the Sun Devils' first drive. #WreckEm #WhatDoesTheFoxSay http://pic.twitter.com/5c5VMEt9s3

— Texas Tech Football (@TexasTechFB) September 17, 2017

More hilarity!

Michigan kicker Quinn Nordin had a crotch grab during the Outback Bowl against South Carolina. Yes — Michigan’s kicker!

When Kentucky double teams the punter all game...61 yard bomb topped off with a pancake http://pic.twitter.com/bG6bwdEbdP

— Johnny Townsend (@johnnytownsend1) September 25, 2017

Greatest flop ever tbh right here from NC State’s Bradley Chubb:

Chubb also blatantly spat on FSU’s logo ...

... and broke out the celebration of the year:

This guy is a treasure http://pic.twitter.com/V5UUw4tDXY

— Mark Armstrong (@ArmstrongABC11) November 11, 2017

That time Deontay Burnett celebrated a TD by shaking former USC quarterback Matt Leinart’s hand in the end zone.

Michigan QB John O’Korn randomly slipped or flopped (we don’t really know, either) unexpectedly on the sideline:

Breeland Speaks recovered a fumble, and says “hi.” http://pic.twitter.com/Ee4i7Pb0wM

— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) November 24, 2017

Boise State scored two touchdowns via this pirouette:

James Franklin after WINNING the Fiesta Bowl:

Iowa State-West Virginia was interrupted by LASERS briefly, and it was amazing.

Remember this moment between Boise and Oregon from 2009?

The two met in this year’s Las Vegas Bowl, and decided to recreate that moment, but the best part is that the Oregon player retaliated against the wrong Bronco.

Mike Leach is a national treasure, part 1,000.

Mike Leach. Goths. #Pac12AfterDark http://pic.twitter.com/cFpBLzpEMY

— Stephen Osentoski (@StephenToski) October 22, 2017

Mike Leach with the catch of the year http://pic.twitter.com/3GlGlkwXFW

— Jack McGuire (@JackMacCFB) November 26, 2017

There were some pretty awesome moments, too.

Here’s UCF star linebacker Shaquem Griffin, who has only one hand, battling for a Memphis fumble. He makes a ton of plays, but this one sums him up pretty well.

This is anything but a regular PAT. Jake Olson, blind since age 12, just snapped for the first time in a live game. https://t.co/amyHcFoVue

— Pac-12 Network (@Pac12Network) September 3, 2017

Ever seen a walk-off pick-six hurdle? Here ya go!

What a finish! Alize Ward takes the interception back 67 yards as time expires to give @SFA_Football the win! #AxeEm #SCTop10 http://pic.twitter.com/0X0q8bR7Ng

— SFA Athletics (@SFA_Athletics) September 17, 2017

Crowd rocks to Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down.” Very, very cool. http://pic.twitter.com/f93LTJl2fZ

— Thomas Goldkamp (@ThomasGoldkamp) October 7, 2017

Bowling Green got its first win of the season on this incredible play:

Wow. Brandon Harris picks up the fumble and takes it 99-yards for a @BG_Football TD! #AyZiggy #MACtion http://pic.twitter.com/pjfAiBK5p5

— #MACtion (@MACSports) October 7, 2017

Iowa started a new amazing tradition of waving the the nearby children’s hospital at the start of the fourth quarter:

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Iowa's "Kinnick Wave" is the best new college football tradition

Iowa's "Kinnick Wave" is the best new tradition in college football.

Posted by SB Nation College Football on Wednesday, September 20, 2017

And Alabama true freshman quarterback Tua Tagovailoa played hero and won the Tide the national championship over Georgia:

ESPN

Piesman Trophy finalists!

Brock Riggs from Heidelberg won it, thanks to this front-flip TD:

THEE Brock Riggs for #Piesman2017 @BergAthletics @BergFootball @SportsCenter @SBNation @Morgan_Moriarty @piesmantrophy http://pic.twitter.com/Df6YJKJSC8

— HeidelbergWHEI (@Berg_WHEI) November 16, 2017

The other finalists were St. Francis’ Louie Gartner:

What a play by Louie Gartner! 96-yard pick-six for the big guy! #RedFlash http://pic.twitter.com/H6LNfXBHKy

— Saint Francis U FB (@RedFlashFB) October 28, 2017

And Wyoming’s Carl Granderson:

And last but certainly not least ...

Our very own #FRYINNANNI achieved his lifelong goal of being the Outback Bowl Bloomin’ Onion mascot:

What else?

Add ‘em in the comments!

[canaryatlaw]

Okay, so today was pretty good. Didn't actually do all that much, lol, but it was good. Alarm went off at 7, I groaned and told myself I can sleep when I'm dead (this is actually something I tell myself on a regular basis as a motivation to get out of bed and I'm not even kidding) so I got up and hopped on the bus to work. Hang out for a bit, trying to see if anyone has any work for me, no luck there really so I go down to court and just hang out for most of the morning. I can't really remember anything about the cases so I probably wasn't paying that much attention and/or they weren't all that interesting. Went back up for lunch and decided I would stay up there for the afternoon, I did eventually get an assignment from my supervisor but it was like "take the incident reports dated before January 2015 out of this binder of incident reports that organized into sections by attorneys in chronological order" so all I had to do was flip through the section till I hit January 2015 and take the rest out, so it took a total of like, 20 minutes lol. Didn't do anything else productive for the day though, no complaints there. Their calendar meeting had gotten rescheduled for this afternoon (I'm not sure when it regularly is but it's not while I'm around) so I sat in on that and heard them bitch about problems like comp days and the scheduling issues they have in the courtroom. They're doing a breakfast thing on Thursday for some reason, which is also my last day and they want to take me out to lunch, so I'm getting two government sponsored meals on Thursday? Lol, I'll take it. Gotta figure out where I wanna go, cuz I'm tempted to just say pizza but then they're having a calendar pizza party on Friday.....I may just do the bakery cuz at least there's a selection there and I can still get pizza that I like, lol. At one point my friend from last semester stopped by because she had to drop something off over on my side of the office (we're literally on completely opposite sides of the building) so we talked for a bit and she told me about her crazy case and what DCFS is opposing paying for for her client, and I recounted my painful experience in DV court last time we were there. She mentioned she like almost called me the other day because she had a client wanting to get an order of protection and had a few super basic questions but they got it figured out but just hearing that made me feel really cool haha like I'm an authority on something people would go to for information (and tbh I do know a lot about the process). Headed out around 4:50 because I wanted to make the 5:02 bus since I was so happy I couldn't go straight home after work for legit the first time this semester haha so that was good. It was also nice to ride home while it's still nice out, even if it's still a bit of a longer ride in the evening (it goes from like 1 hour to an hour and 10 minutes, not much but enough) it's nice to just sit and see it still being light out, and the farther north we get the people on the bus start to trickle off, so by the time we get to my stop there's usually only a handful of people left, so sometimes I'll like stretch my legs out and take up two seats or something silly like that that I'd enjoy, lol. Got home, made dinner (I did the roasted nectarine oatmeal again because I still had the other half of it and it was cut and imminently going bad and it was super delicious, and also leftovers because I'm determined to eat them now, which I don't like that I have to be determined to do to actually do, but oh well) and then tuned in for the flash, which I have to say was an all around strong episode. I couldn't pass up commenting on future Barry's haircut because like ffs man I know you're depressed and that can make menial tasks seem monumental but please just get yourself a haircut already, lol. And seeing everyone else all old and abandoned was sad. The whole "we're gonna change the future to change the past" thing was kind of ?? Like okay, getting the team back together is nice but I don't think it's gonna make a difference here? Lol. Oh, and future Barry said he trapped Savitar in the speed force after he already killed Iris.....but Savitar killed Iris because Barry trapped him in the speed force....time loop, anyone? Haha though I doubt they'll address that, given the show's track record with logic in regards to time travel. But yeah, overall I liked it and Jesse L. Martin pretending to be old Joe was so!! cute!!! I really couldn't handle it. So stupid me thought I had an hour between flash and prison break from some reason, and I had wanted to make cookies because while I was making oatmeal earlier they have an oatmeal raisin cookie recipe on the container which I'm rather fond of so now I wanted to make some, except I didn't have any raisins haha so I used dried cranberries instead, and they turned out quite nicely (I briefly considered using the yogurt covered raisins that I do have, but decided that would be an adventure I'd save for another day). When I finished around 8:45 I checked Twitter and realized I fucked up the times of the shows so I started prison break then (thanks for always saving my ass, dvr). Man, what an episode. Really on the edge of my seat for most of it. Of course I was sooooo happy to finally see the brothers reunited and just being so happy to be able to hug each other and I'm like oh damn I have feelings!!! Haha. I wasn't doing all that great at keeping track of the factions fighting and whatever else was going on in Yemen, but I get that they apparently just pissed off the entirety of ISIL (side note: does anyone know why they chose to use ISIL and not ISIS? Is that how it's referred to in Yemen? I'm just curious as to what went into that decision) and now they somehow have to get out of Yemen with all these crazy people hunting him. They've had worse, really, haha. I have faith in them. Sara didn't get to do much, but we had the whole Kellerman and T-Bag plot, and I'm sorry but I refuse to 100% believe Kellerman is dead when they didn't show the shot of him actually being dead, just showed a gunshot going down in his direction....I mean, it's not like they haven't pulled shit like that before, especially with him. And believe me, I REALLY want that bastard to be dead, but the bastard is like a cockroach so I want real confirmation. T-Bag can bleed out for all I care, but I'm yet to see how he fits into any of this. But yeah, liked the episode a lot. Then I went to Brooklyn 99 which was hilarious and perfect as always, then went to 13 Reasons Why, watching episodes 10 and 11, obviously both very heavy episodes. I didn't remember enough details from the book to recall exactly what Clay's transgression was, but I thought it was something along those lines, at which point I'm like goddammit Clay you've been holding out on us going around the whole time being like "what did I do????" when you damn well know what you did, even if you didn't see how it related. I felt so sad for her in that moment though, that what was supposed to be a consensual moment was ruined by her past abuse experienced at the hands of men, like that makes me so sad. I liked episode 10 too though, I especially liked that Sherie was going to the older man's house to help him and that Clay went to Jeff (is his name Jeff? I think it's Jeff)'s family and told him what he knew at least- that was some sign of redemption in what's mostly been a story about how shitty people are to each other, so that I liked seeing. The lawsuit subplot continues to drive me up the wall with realism, at least they got the "oh the school would want to settle" thing right, and I loved that conversations between Clay and Hannah's moms in the bathroom, and I SO still want to see Clay's mom storm out of her firm and quit the case, but at this point I doubt we're gonna see that happen, especially because what they just revealed which has to be the BIGGEST conflict of interest I've ever seen that they are just smoothing over entirely and not even acknowledging. Like, are you kidding me? The son of the defense lawyer is being called as a witness for the prosecution???? If that's not a conflict of interest I don't know what else could possibly be one, lol, so them ignoring that irritated me. I wanted to keep watching to see what was gonna go down with the whole Jess/Bryce/Justin situation (side note: I know we're not really supposed to like Jess and I mean she is a bitch but I honestly just feel so bad for her) but I did need to eventually get to sleep so I stopped and got ready for bed and here we are. Tomorrow I have PT, then a PAD meeting at school that's probably gonna run into the crim pro review class, so we'll see how long I end up being there for. Alright, that's it. Goodnight folks. Stay classy.