#I suck at flirting

[emoopossumz]

CHAT HELP

There was this really cool, pretty, guy at my DND group and I wanted his number but I’m insanely socially awkward irl so I wrote him a letter… I wrote something along the lines of..

“Hi, you seem really cool. Do you like ‘My Chemical Romance’? If so do you want to listen to them sometime..”

I also then wrote “Meow” on the front after folding it up. I then walked over to his table, gave it to him and walked away silently. I also wrote my number on it… WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE?!

[cecesreign]

Your soul is too pure, making us married without an end in sight. You’re the most beautiful creature in existence. Your eyes light up a million galaxies and I’ll spend eternity with you and follow you to the grave when it’s time Me, flirting with my bestie

So I see that you have hands. Nice. Me, flirting with literally anyone else

[intriq]

𓆩♡𓆪 dumbass [in denial]

content warnings: blood, injuries, mentions of knives, stabbing, violence, swearing, my shitty attempt at writing flirting

once again i am so fucking sorry if this is so non canon following that it pains you to look at

anyways im hoping i did jason justice and that this wasn't stupid or cringey at all, without majorly breaking jason's character.

song wrote to: GMFU - odetari & 6arelyhuman

theme: hurt/comfort, fluff [mayb]

Request by Apollo!

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎ㅤ‎‎‎‎‎You and Jason often worked together.

Quite often, really. Ever since your start as a vigilante, you somehow had just found each other and started working together.

Jason was an ass, yes, but he was probably only tolerable because of his shitty personality because he was not shitty in appearance. Would you ever tell him you found him attractive, or had a thing for him?

No goddamn way.

You two often bickered and fought, hurling insult after insult after each other. But you two were still friends.

People often made remarks about how your interactions with Jason seemed to be borderline flirting, but you always scoffed at that. Jason? Flirting?

In what universe?

There was no way in hell that Jason would ever see you in that light. Much less flirt with you. He didn't seem to have a bone in his body that could stand being even just the tiniest bit nice to people.

However, today was one such day that you and Jason just so happened to not be working together. A rare occurrence, but sometimes you preferred the silence instead of Jason's incessant need to argue all the time.

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So far your patrol had gone smoothly, with Gotham being just a little more quiet than it usually was. But that was fine, it just meant you had to sit in silence for the next few hours you were patrolling.

You push yourself off the ledge of the building with one foot, leaping over the gap that marked an alley below you. And you land on the other rooftop with ease, landing with as much grace as you could muster. You did wobble, of course, but nothing too bad.

You continue this routine, leaping and landing between rooftops of various buildings. Sometimes you jump into the balconies of some poor fellow when you didn't quite time your jump correctly, but it was nothing more than startling some poor sleeping person in the middle of the night.

But after a few minutes, right as you were thinking of ending your patrol, you were surprised.

Well, surprised wasn't quite the right word to describe what happened. Ambushed was.

You'd been mid-leap when the attack came, colliding with the back of your knee just as you were pushing yourself off the ledge of another building.

The force of the impact had caused your knee to crumple, which sends you plummeting downward. And when you land, you don't land right.

You land face-first into the pavement, instantly knocking all the air from your lungs as pain instantly blooms across your entire body.

Your stunned for a moment, vision swimming from just the force of the fall before you attempt to push yourself up by your palms.

Only for the sound of someone landing behind you to resound with a dull thud, and when the footsteps stop just at your side, you don't get a moment to prepare yourself.

Because in that same moment your being hit over and over again. On your back, your legs, everywhere. You manage to roll over onto your back at some point, manage to land a kick right on your attackers knee to make them grunt in pain.

Your body is burning, muscles in agony as you force yourself to your feet. You force your body to respond to what you want it to do as you start fighting back, and your opponent just decides to say "fuck it" with the weapon because it was only slowing them down.

Slowing them down as in because it seemed to be just some metal pipe that took a lot of force to even hit you as hard as it did.

So suddenly your in a fist fight with some criminal who you recognize to be some sort of low level thug for this new criminal organization trying to form in Gotham.

You dodge some hits, but you wind up taking more hits than your dodging because the pain has your mind reeling, even as you try to focus.

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You weren't even sure just how long it took for that dumb fight to be over, because at one point more of the guy's buddies showed up. One had a knife, which cut you up pretty bad. You'd been stabbed a few times too, and were definitely in bad shape.

But you couldn't exactly go to a hospital, because it doesn't matter if there's laws for patient-doctor confidentiality, your identity would still get leaked to the press, and you wouldn't be able to have a normal life outside of being a vigilante.

So as your hand clutches at your side, growing warm with your blood that pools out of the deep gash there. Something that you were pretty sure was going to need stitches.

Your muttering curses under your breath, words that none would probably even dare to speak around their mother with as much confidence or attitude as you were. Your trying to think of just somewhere you can go to, because you definitely would not last long enough to get back to your apartment.

And the only person who is close by is Jason.

So you just say fuck it, he'll be a douchebag about you getting hurt on patrol, but he'd still patch you up. You hope.

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You practically stumble and hurt yourself worse when you land on Jason's apartment balcony, causing you to get winded as that burning pain shoots up your spine from the gash in your side being stretched with your movements.

The light turns on from behind the curtain of the sliding glass door in front of you, signaling that Jason had heard your painful landing on his balcony.

Somehow your still standing upright, until he opens his sliding glass door.

"The fu⎯ baby? The fuck happened to you?" Jason's eyes go wide the moment he sees the way your standing. Notices the way your clutching at your side, and how your costume is ripped and torn.

He takes special notice that the fact there's blood dripping from the side your clutching desperately at, because his eyes linger there.

"Nice to see you too, dumbass." You manage to get out, before pretty much just losing all strength you had to stand.

Jason does catch you⎯ for once.

"How the hell did this happen?" Jason asks, practically dragging your body inside his apartment. He rests you in the first seat closest to his balcony, which is his couch.

You let out a hiss of pain from the movement, and Jason just mutters something. You don't quite make it out, though.

"Got ambushed on patrol. Fuckers from that new group of wanna-be hotshot villains." You manage to groan out, chest practically heaving as you nearly pant from the pain that leaves a white-hot sting in every muscle of your body.

Jason's swearing under his breath, a string of curses that you can't quite make out either as he disappears for a few minutes before coming back. You didn't know whether to be surprised or honored he brought his entire first-aid kit to you.

Your eyes flutter, tempted to close them in just hopes it'd ease the pain. But you quickly open them again after a moment.

Jason's back in front of you again, and if you weren't in pain you'd make some smart-ass comment about him kneeling on the floor in front of you.

For once, Jason is weirdly quiet. Super quiet, as he's got some sort of wet towel in one of his hands to wipe some of the smeared blood off you. And in normal Jason fashion, he's not being gentle at all as he wipes the blood off.

Which only makes you wince, body jolting away. "For once in your fucking life, Jason, be a little gentle."

"Simply get a higher pain tolerance, fuckwad." Jason quips back, continuing to wipe the blood away, mostly from around the gash in your side that your still desperately holding. But he does take the hint and isn't as rough.

Now that most of your blood was wiped away from the cuts and bruises on your skin, Jason had a clearer view of the damage.

And boy, was there a lot of damage.

Jason sets the blood-soaked towel down somewhere to his side on the floor, still on his knees in front of the couch he'd just unceremoniously dumped you on.

The expression on his face isn't one you've seen before, so you don't really know what he could be thinking, nor what he's feeling. You just know his brows are furrowed, same way they get when he's frustrated or angry.

You don't even realize Jason had started cleaning the gash in your side until you feel the sting from the betadine Jason was using to clean the wound. Yea, it stung. But you didn't have the greatest tolerance for pain, especially not when you were exhausted.

So you writhe in pain, one hand practically gripping the couch cushions for dear life as you clench your jaw. Jason pauses for a moment when you do this, glancing up at your face with that same emotionless expression.

You weren't even sure just when that gash had stopped bleeding, though. Not that you could remember for just how long you'd been bleeding before you'd managed to get to Jason's apartment.

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Eventually most of your worser wounds were cleaned and stitched up, which just meant wrapping a bandage around the ones that needed it.

Of course, you had a bit of your energy back. Enough to be the smartass you usually were, but still just downright exhausted.

Jason was in the middle of wrapping up your stomach, shirt lifted just high enough to allow him to-do so, his hands brushing against the bruises on your stomach every now and then. Which didn't really feel pleasant, but that wouldn't stop the words that immediately fell from your lips. "If I didn't know better, Jason, I'd say you'd just want a really bad excuse to touch me." Once again, the smartass you returns. In all your flirty and teasing glory.

Jason's eyes narrow as he glares at you. He'd never been a fan of your remarks, as flirty and teasing as they were. It was what sparked most of your arguments, anyway.

"Shut the fuck up before I make you,"

That's all you get out of Jason in reply just moments later.

Before you can make a snarky remark back, Jason's already finished wrapping the bandage around your stomach, quickly gathering the supplies from his first-aid kit and bustling away. Leaving you alone for a few minutes before he returns empty handed.

"You were an idiot. Do you not keep track of your surroundings anymore?"

You roll your eyes at Jason's remark. "Oh, please. Don't scold me like your Bruce or something. You don't got the right to."

Jason forces himself to take a deep breath when you say that. You always knew how easily to push his buttons by simply just the mention of Bruce.

"Still. I could have been finding your dead body on my damn balcony, you idiot."

You only let out a tired laugh, though for only a moment as your laughter causes your side to ache. "I'm breathing right now, aren't I? Stop worrying so much."

Jason just clenches his jaw and remains silent, instead opting to just drop the subject. How else was he to convey that he was, for lack of a better word, worried about the sight of your bloody and bruised body suddenly slumping into his arms, on the one night he wasn't on patrol with you?

He didn't really quite understand why he was like that. Why he reacted like so. Maybe it was because you were his close friend, someone he didn't think was quite as intolerable as the others.

Perhaps that was it.

It was definitely just that reason, right?

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ‎‎‎╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

[neophyticworld]

i always think im flirting but all of my attempts are ones that you would never guess are flirting.

or maybe you can tell. idk.

[boreddownsouth2024]

Accurate

[blu3birdprince]

I need a wingman or something. I want that parent who gives out their kids' number to every gay person they meet.

[kittanthalos]

#softies

[raeofgayshine]

Thinking again about the fact that when Eddie and Dustin finally convince Steve to play DnD with the party, all of them, but especially Eddie, quickly become exasperated with Steve who has extremely high charisma, and decides that he can fix almost any situation by flirting with whoever they were in conflict with. Especially the fucking monsters, this man is bound and determined to himself a monster boyfriend and until it happens, he will make every single person they come across fall in love with him. So naturally, this happens a lot:

Steve: I’m going to flirt with them

Eddie, exasperated: Steve, you can’t date this monster, he’s trying to kill you-

Steve: Hot.

Steve: I’ll flirt with them harder then

[basilsimp43]

Grimmjow: If I were dating you? Well, heh, let's just say horses wouldn't be called "horses" anymore...

Ichigo: What the fuck does that mean...?

Ichigo: I'M SHAKING WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??

[jadewritesficshere]

Wrecked

Eddie Munson x Reader

Content: oral (male receiving) slight sub!Eddie. Listen I just really wanna suck him

18+ only

Your eyes snapped open, adjusting to the darkness in the room as the VHS shut off with a click. The light from the TV seemed harsh, jarring you from the quietness surrounding you. It woke you up from your sleepy state, heart thumping wildly as you realized you had fallen asleep against Eddie. Eddie, who talked a mile a minute and told you interesting facts while watching movies, who had gone silent almost an hour ago as you started to drift off. Eddie, who had an arm wrapped around your shoulder, hand lazily drawing patterns on your arm where it rested. Your head against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. "Sorry," you yawned as you sat up," Did I fall asleep?"

Eddie blinked slowly before smiling," Don't worry 'bout it. You need to rest." You lazily smile at him as he stands up. He stretches slowly, joints popping that remind you that neither of you are near your teens anymore. He reaches his arms above his head in a stretch, shirt traveling up just enough to give you a sneak peak of his stomach. Pale skin that showed the stark colors of the dragon curled over the top of his belly button. The dragon that had it's mouth open as if it was blowing fire, fire that actually was pink scars courtesy of the demobats. The scars that he always had a different story for when people saw ("I got attacked by a bear." "A witch cursed me." "I didn't eat my vegetables." "I used to defuse bombs").

Your eyes caught on his belly button, the stupid piercing he got claiming "a dragon had to have a hoard". The blue light from the tv causing the jewelry to glint, showing a kaleidoscope of rainbows in the opal gemstones. Your breath caught at the smattering of hair that trailed down from his belly button. Down to the band of his sweatpants that hung low on his hips. Plaid boxers peeking over the hem of his pants obscured your view of the slight v shape of his hips. The TV light providing the perfect amount of light and shadow to show the slight definition of his abs he had gained from long hours as a mechanic.

The sting from biting your lip pulled you from your casual perusal of Eddie's frame. Eddie who hadn't even noticed and was waving his hands around talking as he stared off at the wall,"- but those are just rumors. I mean if they do make a movie, it better be close to the book. No creative liberties. I want to see the book come to life, ya know? I want the dwarves to have full beards, especially the women and-"

You stand up abruptly," Shut the fuck up." Eddie pauses at your abrupt words and movement. Silence spans a few seconds as he notices the glimmer in your eyes," Excuse you?" You hum, running your eyes up and down his frame. Eddie was definitely a man, no longer the boy you had met in high school. He had filled out more, had some scruff on his jawline. His sweatpants had a hole in his knee and there was a stain on his shirt, but he had never looked more beautiful to you. And you had never wanted to fuck him more.

Eddie tilted his head slightly, untamed and frizzy curls bouncing as he tried to decipher the look in your eye. "I will gladly listen to this conversation, but I can't pay attention right now. Not when you're," you wave your hand gesturing to him," that!" Eddie scoffs," Excuse you? That?." One step is all it takes to get in his space, Eddie instinctively taking a step back.

You push on his chest, firm beneath your open palms, causing him to stumble back into the couch. He lands with a grunt and looks up at you with a look of exasperation. He goes to open his mouth to say what you're sure is a snarky remark, but all thoughts leave his head as you grab his knees spreading them open and kneeling in front of him. His jaw drops as he stares at you between his legs. You bat your lashes at him in what you hope is a seductive look, but let's be honest, both you and Eddie suck at flirting. You trail one hand up from his knee, barely touching as your fingers dance their way up his thigh. His cheeks flush, a beautiful dusty pink that spreads down his neck towards his chest. You wonder how far that blush goes as you lift the hem of his shirt.

Eddie is staring at you, frozen in time. You clearing your throat as you tug on his shirt knocks him from his reverie. "Yeah, okay, fuck uh yea." He leans forward enough to pull the shirt over his head. You lick your lips at the expanse of tattooed skin you see. You lean in, trying to decide where to start. You look up through your eyelids at him, slowly licking the happy trail, that definitely made you happy. The image of you licking his skin, peering up at him through your lashes, was burned into Eddie's retinas. Eddie's knuckles were white as he gripped the couch cushions. His stomach flexed unintentionally at the warmth of your tongue. The small whimper he let out fueled your desire, heat pooling low in your stomach. You nip and suck at his hips, one hand resting on his thigh, the other curled around his back to bring him closer to you. You pulled back after adding a lovely red mark that you know will fade to a bruise.

You can't believe you had fallen asleep next to this man, now the only thoughts involving a bed also involved cardio. You lightly trail a finger over the prominent bulge in his pants, earning a sharply inhaled breath and a buck of his hips. "Jesus fucking Christ," he groans, voice lower then you've ever heard. You lick your lips as your hands reach for the hem of his pants and-

"Wait!" Eddie startles you, and you glance up at his wrecked face. "Huh?" You blink a few times starting to pull back," Do you not..?" "No! No I do!" Eddie clears his throat and grabs the pillow next to him," I just...you should be comfortable..." His face flushes as he holds the pillow between you two, causing you to chuckle. You grab the pillow and put it under your knees, even if you don't need it. "Thanks baby. You're so thoughtful." Eddie preens under the praise, looking smug. Your hands return to his waist band, tugging his pants and boxers down. He lifts his hips to help and-

You've never thought a dick to be pretty before. Sure, you've seen some good ones but this? He's long, curved slightly to the right. Precum beading at the top of a head that is flushed so red it's almost purple. A prominent vein trailing the underside of his dick that you want to lick up. Curls around the base that were trimmed but still unruly. The tension is thick as you stare at his dick, wondering where to start. He twitches under your heavy gaze. "C'mon, don't make me wait.." Eddie mumbles. "You'll take what I give you, and you'll be thankful." You snap back, watching the man pout slightly. For all his bravado and extroverted demeanor, he has no power here and he knows it.

But you decide to have mercy on him as you flatten your tongue against his dick, deciding to follow the vein from his base to his tip. Eddie lets out a high-pitched whine followed by a "thank you", but you don't really care. Yes, it feels good for him, but this is also for your pleasure. You swirl your tongue around his leaking tip, tasting the salty essence. Eddie's hand finds the back of your head instinctively, not using any real force or grip. When you fully envelope his tip with your warm mouth and suck, all coherent thoughts of his are gone. He barely can remember his own name. One of your hands holding his hips back so he can't thrust up, the other wrapped around his dick slowly moving up and down.

Eddie sits there babbling nonsense, he never could stay quiet for long. And you wouldn't want him to, his moans and groans like music to your ears. You pull off of him earning a whine. Eddie's face is flushed, bangs stuck to his forehead, a slight sweat broken out on him. He looks down at you with those big brown eyes like you just kicked a dog. "Please? Fuck, please baby? Don't stop."

You smile up at the wrecked man, the man begging for you to continue. You can feel the light pressure of his hand against your head trying to push you closer to his groin. You could make him beg. Make him wait. But he looks so good like this, you want to see him completely blissed out. You inhale deeply before lightly putting the tip back in your mouth. Eddie has no time to mutter a thank you before you fully sink down on him. Your nose coming flush with the hair you admired earlier, taking him deep in your throat without gagging. "Oh fuckfuckfuck," Eddie pants above you, lost in the feeling of you. You hollow out your cheeks and suck, bobbing up and down along his length. He was a twitching writhing mess beneath you. You lightly palm at his balls, adding enough pressure to have Eddie moan. It didn't take him long before he came with a loud groan, hips bucking without a pattern. You swallowed it to the best of your ability, some leaking out and dripping down your chin.

When he was done, you pulled off him with a pop. Eddie's chest heaved as he panted above you. Eddie looked down from the ceiling, not sure when he had thrown his head back in ecstasy. You swipe the cum off your chin before licking your fingers, eyes locked with his. "Jesus Christ," he runs a hand through his hair and lets out a chuckle. You hum and smile up at him. Eddie lightly grasps your biceps, tugging you to get up,"Not sure what brought that on, but I think its time for me to return the favor. Get up here."

[lilliemadoka]

catch u on the flipside 😘✨

(cleaned up sketch under the cut because i kinda liked it a lot. please ignore the shoes i couldn't be bothered to fix them. it's all sketchy and weird just PLEASE b nice 2 me...)

[cripplingoptimism]

You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.

[weaverpop]

He would! Both to see what Li Jing liked and disliked, what embarrassed him, etc…

Wukong, Mocking/Teasing voice: “Oooh Azure! You’re so big and strong and handsome~!”

Jing, eye twitching: “Monkey.”

Mei, joining in: “(Places hand on head, mock swooning) Your orange fur is just the softest~! Won’t you let me pet it~?”

Jing, face slowly turning red: “it wasn’t like that-“

Wukong, back to Mei as he also mock swoons: “Oh azure, won’t you purr for me~!

Macaque, mimicking Azure: “You always make me purr, Kitten~.”

Jing, face instantly redder then a tomato: “Don’t saY THAT!”

Mei: “ WHEEEEZE did he really call you KITTEN?!”

Nezha, long sufferingly while staring at empty space: “I will never be able to say that word again. Someone end me now.”

Jing, increasingly flustered: “I keep telling you it wasn’t like that-!”

Oh they go absolutely bananas, and poor Nezha is 100% ready to off himself. Again.

Li Jing is mortified, Macaque is a little shit, and Mei and Wukong are ruthless gremlins of teasing!

@quitealotofsodapop

[immensity-to-dream]

au where claw, not yet seeking world domination, is in the business of ousting and punishing fake psychics. suzuki sends serizawa to figure out if reigen's a fraud, but he forgets to factor in the power of gay tendencies. and also its the 1970s.

[absolutelybatty]

Postal Paradise Lost is such a funny concept. Imagine you make a game in 2003 that you're proud of and the company that distributed it in Russia shows up and wants to collab for your next game, a direct sequel to the 2003 game, and of course you're down because they did a great job with both distributing your game to Russia and making a Russian based DLC for it. And things are kind of rocky because the main character's voice from the first two entries no longer wants to work on it while he handles personal struggles, but at least you found another voice actor who works well for the character. Then the 2007 financial crisis hits and they ship-of-theseus their entire dev team and keep sinking further and further into a bastardized version of the game you wanted despite you literally trying to force them to stop. And when it comes out, you only have it publicly available on your website for a year, encourage people to pirate it, and link to a Rick Roll rather than have the actual game on your site.

So, obviously the next logical step is to come out with a DLC for the 2003 game, in 2015, 11 years since the last DLC came out. And the game, of course, starts off by telling the players that the third game you were strong armed out of mercy killing was a coma dream the main character had after crashing his truck and knocking himself out. For 11 years. Without life support. Surviving in the driver's seat of his truck based entirely off of the nuclear radiation from the bomb he dropped. 11 years before. And it wasn't enough to retcon the existence of the 3rd game in the intro cutscene. No, the plot of this game needs to be built upon the idea that the nightmare of the third game's protagonist has become an alter for the main character who actively bullies him from inside his own skull.

And now people draw the main character from 2 and his alter from 3 making out regularly.