#I stop using Twitter a while ago when he first bought the company

[jaestitchley]

Apparently Musk has had the X thing bouncing around it is cranial void for a while now, and I just have to question why? And how? Did he not realize that X reminds everybody of porn?

XXX Stores?

Comix??

Xvideos???

Se(X)????

Like bro? Buddy?? How did you not know this? Have you ever been outside??

[bigwhispersbluebird]

Look into my eyes, and lie

Synopsis: Taehyung and you have been dating for years, serious enough to announce it publicly. Everything was perfect until he starts ignoring you and the only thing that breaks the silence is a rumour that might be the end of this relationship as you know it.

Angst, written from OC's perspective

Warnings: Insinuation of cheating

Author's Note: This will be a two-shot, hopefully.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing off the hook. Even though I usually turn it to silent before sleeping but last night, I had consciously kept it on the highest volume in hopes that he would call.

Taehyung and I had met when my company was contracted to serve as publicists of Bangtan. Being attracted to one of the members went beyond every code of ethic that I had etched in my brain but there is little to be done when the only thing keeping you sane is a certain boxy smile and its owner's persistence. After a couple years of dating, Taehyung wanted to make it official by announcing it to ARMY, first and foremost. That was when the realisation had hit me that this relationship meant as much to him as it did to me.

While the media had tried to turn the situation against BTS, it was the faith and support of ARMY that helped in finding stability and an easy way through it all. Things had been great since then.

Until now.

Taehyung was out of reach, out of contact for days. Eventhough he had always made time before or atleast squeezed in a call, he had not even bothered to reply to my texts for days. More than angry or upset, it was worry that overtook my senses.

"Perhaps he was busy and finally got time", I thought suddenly when the phone rang again.

I sprang up and immediately started searching for it; hands splayed on the mattress, reaching out for him.

Although, as soon as I saw the notifications, my heart dropped. It was a bunch of calls from my company and hundreds of Twitter notifications. This could only mean one thing: another rumour or scandal.

I unlocked my phone, swiping left on all the notifications, searching for only one that I was looking for. But it wasn't there.

However, there was a message from Namjoon. Simple yet something that scared me to bits.

"I am sorry. Talk to me whenever you can."

What was he sorry for?

I tentatively opened Twitter, and soon I wished I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss and I would give anything to be the fool I was a few seconds ago still waiting on a call from the only person who had the power to shatter me like he just did.

"BTS's Taehyung spotted with a blond through the back alley of his private apartment. Unless Y/N has suddenly had a change of style, we smell something fishy."

Attached was a blurred shot taken through night vision camera. And if I hadn't memorized all the contours of his body, I would have second guessed who that person was for the sake of my sanity. However, one look and I knew that it was him. His arms around the waist of a blond I hadn't seen before. Her face was not visible but she seemed too close to him for my liking.

No, Y/N! Stop acting all paranoid. You know he is not like that. There must definitely be a reason for this image and the situation. And just because someone calls it an affair, doesn't mean it has to be. He would never disrespect you like that. Get a grip.

Repeating the same words in my head, I got up from my bed, ignoring the notifications that were still chiming on my phone. I almost believed what I was telling myself but the lack of explanation on his behalf made me question myself.

Shouldn't he have called me after seeing this? After knowing how it would affect me? Or maybe it is true and he doesn't have the nerve to accept it? Or perhaps, it is too much of bullshit for him to pay attention to it?

Questions after questions popped in my head as I got dressed for work, maybe he would drop by there? Amongst it all, the thing that was worrying me more was not the picture or the news but his absence from my life for so long that he hadn't even bothered replying to me. Whatever happened or didn't happen was about the night before so what was the reason of his anger before that?

Before leaving, I unplug my phone from the charger and once again scrolled through all the notifications. Messages from my friends, even his friends but none from him.

Frustrated, I climb into my car and turn on the music at the highest volume, hoping it would quiet down my brain.

*****

"Everything that has been reported is nothing but a misunderstanding and yet another manipulation of a simple situation to relay a story of your choice. Taehyung and I are still together and very happy and have only to be grateful to our fans that have believed us without reason. He is busy with his work and I am indulged in mine but please don't worry about us."

I turned off the television after watching myself strut inside the office building after giving a speech I wish I had believed with as much confidence as I had faked. But something had to be done about the reporters that had not moved from the building for the last four days. What didn't help the case was that his label had not come out with ANY statement nor were we spotted together. Everyone had assumed that we had broken up after Taehyung cheated. No matter what, I would not let a scandal tarnish his career.

My anger filled speech could not be nitpicked by even the most observant of people. That is what you get after years of being famous and now the head of the leading artist representative label.

But as I sat in my office room, overlooking the city, I could not mute the sound of my heart breaking.

I glanced at the frame on my desk. A picture we had taken on our trip to Rome. A simple one of us on the bike we had rented. Me holding on to his waist and him holding on to me, genuine smiles painted on our lips.

When did everything go so wrong?

I didn't even notice I was crying until my secretary knocked on the door, opening it simultaneously in urgency but soon halting noticing my state.

"It is okay, Kai", I waved at him, wiping at my face with the other.

"Um, apologies ma'am but Mr Taehyung is waiting for you."

My mind went numb. I didn't expect him to come anymore. Not after he had ignored my existence for so long now, acting like we meant nothing.

But he was here. He was here and I wish I had the courage to turn him away but I did not. I wanted to see him. Desperately.

Unable to voice out my thoughts, I just nodded at Kai who understood as he walked out, probably to lead him inside.

I immediately glanced at the mirror on the wall, my self respect intact enough to not let him know how much his indifference had hurt me. I would never give anyone that satisfaction.

But as he walked into the room, his familiar scent overtaking everything reminding me how every part of my own office was full of him. The picture on my desk, his guitar leaning on the farther wall, my side table still full of the lavenders he had bought me a month before, the coat hanger where his baseball cap still stands when we decided to leave our disguises and go on a sudden date. And well me, his from every aspect, body and soul. My heart almost stopped and my brain lost all reasons it had to put up a facade. I just wanted to run to him.

But all the emotions made me so exhausted that I kept sitting there, planted as if I would combust into ashes if I tried moving.

So I stayed, looking at him. Dressed like his usual self, a plain shirt with flared pants and a vitange coat. His hair styled like he had come straight here from work. He must have, I realized as I noticed what time it was.

"Tae...", I tried breaking the silence but all that came out was a meek croak. Clearing my throat, I tried again. "You came here from work?". Again, silence.

"Were you crying?", he said. His expressions stoic but worry shining from his voice and I wanted to burst into tears but I only had my dignity to hold onto right now.

"Not really. Kinda sick I guess so I might look red but I am fine".

I knew he didn't believe me but thankfully he let me live it down.

Moving forwards, he tentatively sat in the chair placed opposite mine and I knew how neither of us failed to realize how foreign that action was when usually he would grab a chair and place it right beside mine, pulling me closer to him until I was between his knees or how he would settle himself on the sofa and pat on it and I would rush to occupy the space beside him.

I tried to swallow another lump forming in my throat. This was his way of showing that things were different. And I wanted to know why. Was it someone else? Or did we just reach the end and I didn't see it coming?

I watched him as he looked down, fumbling with the belt of his coat, which he had not taken off, not expecting to stay long. His face which was always stoic failed to hide how desperately he was searching for words to make everything go away.

I saw it too and it was the only reason why I fought through all my resolve and spoke, not bothering to hide how vulnerable I felt.

"Taehyung, I don't want any explanations", I noticed as his eyes met mine, slowly, all his attention on me, "I don't want to know anything that happened before or anything that happened after you stopped talking to me". I stopped, my heart beating so fast I could hear it thump in my ears. His eyes fixated on me, his expression mimicking mine- awaiting what I would say next.

"Just tell me they lied", I spoke but it came out as a plea, my voice cracking as I tried to maintain eye contact with him through all the tears that were now brimming my eyes. "Tell me that nothing happened between you and the woman in that picture. Just say that and I will never talk about this again. I'll forget that these last few weeks ever occurred in our lives."

Taehyung's eyes did not leave mine, his expression unreadable now. As I continued speaking, his head fell low, trying to hide the tears that were in his eyes too.

"Tell me and I will take your word over everything. Please," I begged, " Please...".

I did not have the energy to continue as emotions overtook me and I helplessly sobbed, my entire body shaking and tears chasing each other down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands, crying into my palms until I felt familiar warm hands on mine, pulling them to reveal my face.

My teary eyes met his and before I could try to understand what everything meant, he broke the silence, saying each word without breaking  eye contact so I could believe it, "They lied. I can't...I didn't cheat on you...".

As soon as his words reached me, my eyes failing to find a lie, I couldn't hold it in as I burst into tears throwing myself in his arms which were quick to catch me, enveloping around my body tightly showing that he won't let go.

So I cried into him while I felt his own tears dropping on my shoulders.

Nothing mattered. Neither the several days of not talking, nor the reports pouring in since that night. I knew that he was not lying and that was enough to make me let go of everything else.

For now.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

Die and Toshiya member talk at SENDAI GIGS 13th March 2021 Bits II

 Notes from user memomomemo3886 at twitter.

 -About meeting the members for the first time

 Die:* Thinking hard* The first one I met was Kaoru. He was in another band. We both were playing in different bands. He was good at that time. Like, at some point he was setting up the equipment and he was doing it well. The next one….would be Shinya? He was at another band but I didn’t know about his existence at that time.

Fujieda: You didn’t know?

Die: I didn’t.  The drums. If you play in another band, everyone will get along with you….Kyo….was it at a toilet?

Fujieda: Toilets are a common place among men. You were side by side?

Die: No, it was at a narrow place. I think Kyo was doing his hair at the washstand? I passed behind him. Kyo told me to talk later but I thought he was just being polite, so I went home. The next time I met him he asked me “Why did you go home?”. At that time, Kyo wasn’t playing in any band, he was free.  We were taking at the emergency stairs and I told him “Why don’t you join our band?���

Fujieda: I heard it was like….when you saw the flyer….”This person!”

Die: "At that time, it ( the flyer)was black and white and the image quality was poor ...I didn’t know who was who. At that time,  there were many flyers stuck on the wall.  Toshiya….where was it?...”

Toshiya: Wasn’t it at Sugamo? At a coffee shop in Sugamo.

Die: No, it wasn’t there. Didn’t we met somewhere at Gio?

Toshiya: Ichikawa? Could be…

Die: After that,  I met you at coffee shop in Sugamo with Kyo. It was a coffee shop? Not a cafe….at that time….you were living in Tokyo, right?

Toshiya: Yes, I was.

Die: We're still in Osaka, and we didn’t know about Tokyo, so we didn’t know  about  Sugamo. We got on the train at  Yamanote line, but at the opposite direction. When I asked Kyo if we were going in the opposite direction, he said “maybe”. We were like “this direction is wrong” and got off. We went to a coffee shop in Sugamo.

Fujieda: Why at Sugamo? Did you live there?

Toshiya: I didn’t. I lived nearby so it was just right for me…

 ----

Fujieda: Are there any young V-kei bands you are interested in?

Die:  I would say….”Kizu”

Fujieda: Ah, thank you!

Die: Why?

Fujieda: Because they are part of our company (label)

Die: Oh

---- 

Question: Is there something that you like to do on a rainy day?

Toshiya: Nothing.  I don’t hate rain I just don’t  go out.

Die: Rain might be the thing that I hate the most. The humidity….because humidity is bad for my hair.

Fujieda: Oh, I understand that!

Die: Eh? You do?

Fujieda: I do….because…. I have curly hair…

Die: Oh…

  -----

Takabayashi: Do you want to wear the outfits of other members?

Die: Mmm…..

Toshiya and Fujieda laughs.

Die: Why are you laughing?

Fujieda: Do you want to wear Toshiya’s outfit?

Die: Mmmm…..but just because we are the same….like size and so. Can you wear it? Could we exchange them? Should I lend you a red suit? The oMeguro Rock-May-Kan one? Time ago, as I am good friends with Noisy from SEX MACHINEGUNS, he told me he would lend me a costume and he did. He lend me the costume for JEALOUS but as I’m tall, I was dragging the hem of the trousers. It was dragging while I was playing. -----

Talking about JEALOUS

Die: Do you remember the recording of it?

Toshiya: It was at a private house, right?

Die: At that time, we lived in Tokyo, but we did the recording at Osaka. Kaoru, Kyo and me did the recording in a place that was like a house studio. There were houses around it and you could hear the dogs and the crows in the evening. When Kyo was singing, the dogs started to bark, that’s why we had to wait for the dogs to stop barking. The engineer’s body was big, so we were like “Can you check the sound? We can’t hear it though its going on” His body was so big that we couldn’t hear it because he was blocking the sound of the speakers. Kaoru was trying to hear it while moving left and right, but he couldn’t. We were doing it for two days but I got fever. I lied down, putting a futon on the tatami floor. Well, it was someone’s house. When I lied down and slept….there was a portrait of deceased person in front of me. I didn’t know who that person was. But as there was a portrait of a deceased person….I’d would say that as there was that….I thought my fever wouldn’t cool down.

 ---- 

 Toshiya is looking at the questionnaire and starts giggling suddenly and shows it to Die. Die burst out laughing. Toshiya also laughs. Fujieda urges Toshiya to read it but he hands it over to Die to read it.

Die: The content of the questionnaire is pretty good, but someone wrote that their favourite song is…”son-shi…..budosorou”….it’s a new song or a song by another…. DIR EN GERI…. I mentioned about the FILTH mistake…. DIR EN GERI….I bought the magazine.

Fujieda: It’s like a jagged 10 yen coin. Something very rare.

Die: Should we rename the band? Should we change the name even though the band was formed 24 years ago?

 ----

About Oboro shooting

Die: It’s was the first time in a long time that the five of us….or should I say 6?

Fujieda: That’s right. There are 6 people. They are standing out in the center….

Die: That person….must be all the time in the same position. We recorded the PV with them in the same situation. I just stopped to check but Kyo and that person couldn’t move because of the setting. Because the distance was quite close,I thought it would be awkward. The woman was almost naked, right? We couldn't see it properly, and we were talking turning sideways. "

[drunkserval]

A Fresh Canvas: Incomplete Preview

Quite some time ago I did a silly little thread on Twitter, and I’ve always wanted to take that and actually make something out of it. Well it was a little harder than expected, but it’s coming along!

When I have the entire thing done I will be uploading it to AO3, but for now it seemed seasonally appropriate to at least drop this.

I wanted to have this posted yesterday but festivities kept me busier than expected! Story is below the cut. Keep in mind that this is still technically a rough draft, and will receive its final beta pass before the full story hits AO3.

(Tentative) Title: A Fresh Canvas Fandom: Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System by MXTX Rating: G, No Warnings Apply Summary: Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan are neighbors in the same modern apartment complex who, despite looking similar enough to be mistaken for each other, couldn’t be any more different. Or so they think.

----------------

Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan were neighbors in the same apartment complex. They lived on the same floor, in the same hall, and were often mistaken for one another due to this proximity combined with how similar their appearances were.

But there were key differences, as both would readily point out to their neighbors. Shen Jiu’s hair hung shy of his shoulders while Shen Yuan’s was shorter and lighter in tone. 

And still the mix-ups kept happening, particularly if they were at some distance or facing away. The misunderstanding would very rarely last past the first glance since Shen Jiu would snap and take immediate offense, and Shen Yuan would just sigh and say, "Sorry, wrong one."

Shen Yuan had no idea why Shen Jiu got so offended over it. Surely he didn’t look that bad, come on!

The neighbors eventually started learning to look at the clothes first--or to at least look for Shen Yuan’s thick-rimmed glasses. 

Both men carried and dressed themselves so differently. Shen Yuan dressed in hoodies and jeans--well, if he was planning on going any further than the mailbox, that was. Otherwise why bother changing out of pajamas or sweatpants?

On the other hand, Shen Jiu didn’t touch anything that wasn’t from a known designer. 

Shen Jiu spent proudly--and why shouldn’t he? Because he at least earned his money!

That Shen Yuan kid down the hall? Rumor was that his parents were paying his rent and he'd never had a real job in his life.

But because he never went out, Shen Yuan was one of the only people still hanging around the apartment complex when Shen Jiu went around knocking during a major holiday. 

In Shen Jiu’s arms was a box containing two fluffy black pups.

Shen Yuan’s eyes widened at the sight of them and he completely forgot to greet his neighbor until Shen Jiu cleared his throat. The dogs were like little storm clouds with feet and stubby tails, staring back at him with big black eyes. One started wagging its tail with such vigor that its whole back end wiggled about.

It took Shen Jiu a moment to find his voice as he followed, such was the state that his neighbor had chosen to answer the door in. Hideous cucumber-print pajama pants, a tacky anime shirt covered in snack crumbs, and unkempt hair had greeted him. But the continuous movement of the box in his arms reminded him of his mission. 

“I found... ” Shen Jiu shifted the box in indication as Shen Yuan shut the door behind them, “these, out by the garbage.”

Shen Yuan blinked as the other passed by him, “Have you tried calling any nearby shelters?”

“Of course I have,” Shen Jiu scoffed at the implication that he was so simple. “You try getting a real person on the phone today, though. It’s impossible. I could only leave messages.”

Shen Yuan put a finger to his lips, “Oh, right. Today is…” Glancing at a wall calendar almost as ugly as his shirt he nodded, “Right. Right.”

Did this kid ever so much as leave the building? Shen Jiu was starting to wonder. Shen Yuan dressed like he’d just rolled out of bed in the latter part of the daytime. And he hadn’t realized it was a major holiday. And then there were the countless odorous takeout boxes covering every available surface in his apartment.

Shen Jiu wrinkled his nose but still asked in spite of his rapidly growing doubts, “You don’t know anyone who can take these little mutts in for a day or two, do you?”

Shen Yuan shook his head and heard Shen Jiu sigh. His neighbor set the box down to give his arms a rest… but Shen Yuan couldn’t seem to rip his attention away from one of the pups. It hadn’t stopped staring at him, or shaking its fluffy little behind, for a moment.

“What if we take them in?”

Shen Jiu’s tone was flat, “What.”

Shen Yuan picked up the excited little pup and it immediately started wiggling in his grasp. Not struggling, however--just trying to get closer to his face, paws waving in the air and its little pink tongue darting out to reach for him even though it was still well outside of range. He had to fight back the urge to laugh at the silly little storm cloud. 

“The building allows us to have one animal per unit, right?” Shen Yuan shrugged, “so what if we each took one, even just long enough to find them new homes?”

Shen Jiu frowned. Taking in a dog, or really any animal, had never been on his agenda. He liked his nice clean apartment and intact furniture unlike a certain someone. Plus he was more partial to cats. He moved his gaze from the overexcited animal back to the box. Though the pups looked identical on the surface this one was clearly the calmer one. It looked up at his scowling face but put forth no such ridiculous display… thank goodness.

Who knew? Maybe Shen Yuan’s idea wasn’t so bad. And if it was, it was only a temporary arrangement, in the end. He might be able to get rid of the animal as soon as tomorrow if it was truly intolerable.

Tentatively, Shen Jiu reached out to pick up the dog…

And felt tiny teeth close around his fingers.

Jerking his hand backwards, Shen Jiu sneered down at the animal. “What, you ungrateful little beast!” 

Shen Yuan finally stopped cooing at his own pup to look over and said, “Maybe he doesn’t like your cologne?”

“And what’s wrong with my cologne?” Shen Jiu snapped, voice raising.

Stepping back, “Nothing, nothing!”

“It was a gift, you know!”

Shen Yuan barely avoided tripping over a haphazard stack of game cases as he kept moving away. “P-perhaps it’s just too strong for a dog’s nose, that’s all!”

This time Shen Jiu moved quickly, snatching up the dog by its middle before it could get its ridiculously tiny muzzle around anything, and he stared directly into the animal’s eyes.

“Do that again, and I’ll put you back out in the cold where I found you. Understood?”

The dog stared back at him, placid and indifferent… until its tongue darted out and licked the end of his nose.

“...good enough.”

----------------------

It was a few days before the two of them crossed paths again. 

It’d seem they both had decided to keep their newfound pets and they were both out that day to take the dogs for walks.

The air in the park was warm, so they sat themselves on a bench to enjoy it for a bit longer and soak up some of the sunlight that was so rare that time of year. Shen Jiu’s pup sat like a sentry at his feet while Shen Yuan’s pup curled up on his lap the moment he sat down. 

It was through the ensuing conversation they realized they both gave their dog the same name by sheer coincidence.

One was too lazy and the other was too stubborn, so neither changed it. At least they’d bought different-colored collars. But this brought to light a new revelation, and Shen Yuan just had to ask…

“How did you come up with it?”

“It was just the first thing to come to mind,” Shen Jiu had explained, “from something I’ve been reading, probably.”

"Wait, you read that too!?"

As he suspected! That name was from one of the top-rated web novels that year, from its stallion protagonist: Luo Binghe!

Shen Yuan couldn’t imagine someone as outwardly prim as Shen Jiu reading trashy webnovels, but it turned out to be true. It was just a quick, easy way for him to kill a few minutes of downtime at work, Shen Jiu reasoned in his defense.

Whenever they met up from that point forward, Shen Yuan talked his ear off about his various grievances with Proud Immortal Demon Way.

‘Villains that dig their own graves but don’t bother finishing! Women that lead the protagonist on a three-chapter long subplot just to get to their lewd scenes, only to never see them again! And every single character lost all of their intelligence when the protagonist came around!’ 

And yet he had nothing but praise for said protagonist… almost excessive praise. 

Shen Jiu is annoyed at first but he starts enjoying the company. Which is good because the dog turns out to be a menace.

Well, both dogs could be counted as menaces, just in different ways.

Bing-mei (as they come to call him) would start whining so pitifully when Shen Yuan shut the door between them, thus he often just gave up and took the dog with him whenever it was feasible.

Bing-ge, on the other hand, broke his toys within days, climbed around on furniture he wasn’t allowed on--sometimes when Shen Jiu was looking right at him, too--he barked, he scratched furniture, he tore up pillows.

Despite all the trouble he was causing for his master, Shen Jiu would no longer entertain the idea of giving him up. Not after Bing-ge tore up three separate muggers on three separate occasions and growled at the person who kept taking his parking space until it never happened again.

But the biggest takeaway from their conversations, for Shen Jiu, wasn’t webnovels or dogs. It made him start to realize how lonely he'd been. 

The only other person he really spoke to was halfway around the world for their work and they only spoke a couple of times a month. Now that Shen Yuan was around, Shen Jiu actually started to have things to look forward to besides the monotony of work--knocks on the door, long walks with the dogs, the occasional cup of tea afterward on colder days...

Shen Jiu was never the sort to be up-front with his feelings, so he found a way to show his gratitude by helping Shen Yuan with his confidence issues. He started encouraging him to go out more, and to put a little more effort into his looks when he did. This morphed into helping clean up his squalid apartment since Shen Jiu could barely stand to look at it when he came over. 

Months later, Shen Jiu’s recommendation had helped Shen Yuan to land an entry-level job. That, and a steady habit of going out once a week, gave them something else to do and talk about.

Progress was slow, but visible. Shen Yuan seemed a little less awkward in public with each passing week.

One night they were leaning on Shen Yuan’s balcony. It was a night of celebration, for he’d just earned his very first promotion, and Shen Jiu had brought over wine for the occasion.

He found himself leaning closer to Shen Jiu, telling himself it was just to get a better look at him in the dim light of the city night. His focus wasn’t the best even when he was sober after all. Yet Shen Yuan didn’t stop. And when Shen Jiu turned to look at him in confusion, and their lips met, he didn’t withdraw for several seconds.

Neither did Shen Jiu.

Shen Yuan tried to flee as soon as he realized what he’d done only for Shen Jiu to pull him back saying:

"Don't run, take responsibility. We talked about this."

[svnflowervol666]

could u probably write one where h is dating a girl that’s a lil curvy? (You can look up someone like julia kelly and katya elise henry on ig/tumblr if u wanna know) and she gets a lot of comparisons from a few of his friends and fans, it kinda brings her down a bit bc idk man I’m a bit curvy too but i get so insecure sometimes knowing that people could be so judgmental but i know harry would love his girl no matter what 🥺❤️

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: smut-ish (at the end)

Something was off with Y/N. Harry had known this for the past few days. It wasn’t that she’d been acting completely different, just so much so that being the caring and attentive person that he is, Harry had picked up on it.

At first, it was turning down second helpings at dinner. He didn’t think much of it aside from giving her the side-eye, because it was her favorite meal that Harry only cooked for her on special occasions. Next, it was her offering to pleasure him in the morning with her mouth instead of letting him take care of them both. Again, it was odd for her to turn down early morning sex, but he’d assumed she was just tired. Then came the nights when Y/N refused to sleep naked. Harry and Y/N always slept without clothes on, Harry claiming that it was just one more layer keeping them apart, which he hated. Again, he thought it was weird, but the weather had been particularly nipply lately so he’d chalked it up to her simply getting chilly throughout the night and needing the extra warmth.

The last and final straw, the whistle-blower that tied all of her off-kilter behaviors together, came to Harry when Y/N was in the shower. She was rinsing off after dinner, which she had only picked at anxiously with her fork without actually eating much of, and Harry was cleaning up the kitchen and living room to prepare for the movie night they had planned. When Harry went to move Y/N’s open laptop from the coffee table, he accidentally woke up the screen, and what he saw puzzled him to no end. It was an article pulled up on her browser, one from a tabloid company titled, “Reasons Why Y/N is Harry Styles’ Best Girlfriend.” The article was filled with photos of not only him and Y/N but of him and his past girlfriends as well. The point was to prove how much happier Harry looked with Y/N as opposed to his exes, but Harry was peeved regardless. Sure, some of these women had done him wrong in the past and left him feeling absolutely gutted, but he hated seeing them being put up against each other in this fashion.

Only adding to his frustration, the next tab over from the article was twitter account that Y/N and Harry had made one drunken night in order to spy on his fans and have a good laugh at how funny some of his followers were. They logged on and scrolled through the tweets together occasionally, but the tweets pulled up on the screen were all about Y/N’s body rather than jokes about how badly they wanted Harry to run them over with his car or memes made out of the horrid candids people had taken of him on stage. They claimed that Y/N was better than Camille because she “actually has an ass,” and that Taylor could never pull off a dress like the one Y/N wore on New Year's Eve because she didn’t have the right curves like Y/N did. Again, not necessarily negative comments, but this coupled with the other article Y/N had been looking at was enough for Harry to comprehend what was happening here.

It didn’t take much for Harry to put it all together, and it broke his heart when he did. She was comparing herself to the other girls Harry had been with. He wasn’t stupid. He knew what people said about Y/N and he knew very well that she looked much different than the other girls he typically went for. People certainly picked up on Harry’s “type,” seeing as he was always a hot topic for the press. Therefore when Y/N came along, everyone had tons to say on the matter. He avoided the comments as much as he could, but it was clear that Y/N was unable to say the same.

In the midst of planning how Harry would approach her on the subject, Y/N emerged from the top of the stairs and made her way over to the couch, dressed in an oversized shirt of Harry’s and a pair of her favorite underwear. Harry quickly closed her laptop and moved it into the kitchen as if he hadn’t just been snooping through her browser history.

“Alright,” she huffed as she plopped down onto the plush cushions of the sofa, wet hair sticking to the nape of her neck, “What’re we watching tonight?”

“Dunno,” Harry pondered, “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?”

“You know me too well, bubby,” she sighed contently.

A smile tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth at the nickname she’d used. She appeared to be in a good mood, so he decided not to push his luck and try talking to her another day.

“Ye’ want some popcorn? Bought a new box at the store yesterday.”

“Uhh, no. I think I’m good. Still pretty full from dinner.”

You hardly touched your dinner, Harry thought to himself. He nodded (extremely hesitantly) at his girlfriend before situating his own self on the sofa next to her.

They settled on some independent film they knew they’d both hate, but that was the fun of it. Cracking jokes about how bad the acting was or about how inconsistent the main character’s accent was was almost more fun to Harry than watching a film that was actually good, which was why they ended up watching shitty, low budget ones on their designated, weekly movie nights.

Nearly halfway through the film, Harry absentmindedly slid his arm that was draped around her waist down to reach for Y/N’s thigh to place over his lap. He loved cuddling her this way, which their bodies morphed together and their legs intertwined under the coziest blanket in his house. Y/N loved it too, so Harry was shocked, but up until recently, not surprised, when she quickly pulled her leg away from Harry’s grip and off of his lap.

“Wha’s wrong? Ye’ don’t want to cuddle wi’ me?”

“What do you mean? I am cuddling with you?”

Harry huffed dramatically and rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s feigned ignorance.

“Ye’ know exactly what I mean, baby. And it’s not just that. You’ve been acting weird lately. I know ye’ think I haven’t noticed, but I have. Ye’ don’t eat as much at dinner anymore, ye’ sleep with a t-shirt on. Ye’ don’t even want me touchin’ ye’ right now. Plus, I saw what was pulled up on your laptop while ye’ were in the shower. I’m not dumb, Y/N. Just wish you’d talk t’ me about it’s all.”

Y/N felt the embarrassment creep up her chest and spread to her neck. Her cheeks burned hot as she stared directly into his emerald green eyes that were begging, pleading for her to open up to him and tell him why she’d been so clearly obsessed with her appearance as of late. She’d had no idea that she’d even made a pattern out of her behaviors must less that Harry had picked up on them. 

“I-...Harry....I don’t want to talk about this right now,” her voice barely came over a whisper.

“Well, I do. What is it? Ye’ think your too big f’ me or somethin’?”

Y/N sighed frustratingly in Harry’s direction. 

“It’s not that. Not entirely anyway. It’s hard to explain. You’ll think it’s stupid.”

She tried not to look at Harry, but his burning gaze made it impossible to tear her eyes away.

“Baby, nothing ye’ say or feel is stupid. Talk t’ me.”

He placed his ringed hand on her kneecap. She was hesitant to not pull away from his touch, but she tried her best to relax against his grip.

“It’s just that...I don’t....look like the other girls you’ve been with,” Y/N chewed her bottom lip anxiously as soon as the words left her mouth.

Harry still didn’t see her point.

“So?” he questioned, “There’s a reason why I’m not with ‘em anymore.”

“I’m just...I see all of these comments about what people say about me...about us and it makes me feel weird.”

“Weird? Like wha’?”

“Weird like I don't really see why you’re even with me, H. I am the polar opposite of all of your exes.”

Harry had half a mind to be angry with Y/N for more or less accusing him of not loving her when that couldn’t have been further from the truth, but he was able to see things from her side and keep his urges to himself. He knew exactly what it was like to be under constant scrutiny from the press, but she didn’t. She didn’t ask for this, she didn’t deserve this, and she certainly shouldn’t be feeling the way she’s feeling right now. 

“Baby,” Harry cooed her, “Wha’ever it is that ye’ read or wha’ever ye’ thinkin’, ‘ts not true. I swear on me mum that you’re the girl I want t’ spend forever with. Ye’ don’t have to change anything about ye’self to get me t’ love ye’ any more than I already do.”

“But-”

“But nothing,” Harry interrupted, “Promise me ye’ won’t read that rubbish anymore. And promise you’ll stop hidin’ ye’self from me, too.”

Y/N nodded slowly, feeling the tension built up in her shoulders slowly dissipating into thin air. Harry was her favorite person in the world, and hearing that from him meant everything. Of course, she’d still have her moments when she’d feel like she wasn’t good enough, but everyone had those. 

“Good,” Harry leaned over to press a chaste kiss over her forehead, “Now give me a proper cuddle.”

He leaned over to grab her by the waist and hoisted her up completely on top of him.

“Harry, no!” Y/N sheepishly exclaimed through embarrassed giggles.

“Y/N, yes!” Harry taunted her as he made them both comfortable on the sofa once more. 

He pulled the blanket up over their shoulders and wrapped his arms securely around her back so that he could pet her spine whilst they finished the movie. She nestled into Harry’s shoulder and breathed in his scent that lingered on his fitted, white t-shirt. Twenty minutes ago, she’d have felt like she was crushing Harry under her weight, but not now. She felt at peace knowing Harry loved her for who she was.

As movie nights typically go with Harry, he started to get quite handsy towards the end of the film. He was starting to shift about the sofa and his palms were navigating towards the supple skin of Y/N’s bum. At first, it was a comforting hand slipping in between the hemline of her panties and just resting there against her bare skin, but soon turned into Harry kneading teasing, firm motions on her ass. His lips had found their way to the sensitive patch of her neck, sucking and tugging the area lazily, but still intense enough to mark her up. 

“Angel,” Harry beckoned when he was able to pull his lips away from her momentarily.

Y/N hummed in response, too intoxicated from the tingling sensation caused by Harry’s tongue mouthing at her throat.

“Sit up f’ me,” Harry demanded, his voice dripping with lust and desire. 

She did as she was told, sitting up so she was still straddling Harry’s chest as she looked down at him. Harry kept a close grip on Y/N’s thighs as he slid further down the couch and his face was now inches away from her core.

“Harry, what’re you-”

“Shh,” Harry’s eyes were blown out and glassy as he switched from looking into her eyes and the damp patch that was slowly but surely forming at the front of her cotton panties. 

“Just let me love on ye’ for a bit. Come closer t’ me.” 

He tried tugging her thighs so that she’d sit down a bit more against him, but she tensed up.

“But I don’t want to-”

“Ye’ not gonna crush me or wha’ever it is that ye’ worried about.”

“I might,” she mumbled to herself.

Her self-depreciation caused Harry to nip the inside of her bare thigh with his teeth, which made her jerk in response.

“Hey!” she scolded.

Harry took advantage of her moment of disorientation and kissed her heat over the front of her panties so that he could taste the juices that had accumulated there. Her chuckles quickly died down into moans when she felt the beginnings of his stubble graze the part of her body where she’d always needed Harry the most. 

“Ye’ gonna listen t’ me now, pet?” Harry asked as he replaced his lips with his thumb, where he began rubbing tantalizingly slow circles against her clothed clit.

“Mhmmm,” Y/N mewled.

“Though so,” Harry finished off with his infamous cheeky smirk.

She settled down properly onto Harry’s face, hovering just over his plump, shining lips until he was ready to taste her again. When he pulled her panties to the side and latched onto her dripping, wet core, she sank even further down against Harry’s tongue, eager to feel him in every possible nook and cranny that he could reach. He drank from her like he’d never wanted anything else in his all of his days.

Y/N had no doubt in her mind that at this moment, Harry was being honest when he said that she was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

[louezem]

Saying Yes - Brothers

Summary:  Katniss and Peeta had a bitter break up years ago and went their separate ways. Katniss knows nothing of Peeta's life now, until a stunning blonde walks into the exclusive bridal salon were she works, to buy her a dress for her wedding - to Peeta Mellark.

Written for @promptsinpanem

Part 5 - Brothers

Eight Weeks Later...

Part 5 - Brothers 

Eight weeks later:

“Good evening, Mr Mellark, it’s nice to see you,” the doorman welcomed him with a tip of his head.

“Good evening,” Peeta returned the welcome. “I’m here to meet my brother for dinner but I need to go upstairs first. When he arrives can you send him to The Arena?  I’ll meet him at the bar.”

“Of course, Mr Mellark, I’ll let him know.”

Peeta strode through the hotel lobby, acknowledging staff members and guests alike with a nod or a smile before using his keycard to access a small private elevator that rose directly to the penthouse he’d shared with Glimmer.

It felt a little weird being back in this space.  He’d moved out of the hotel and into a very nice apartment a short distance away a couple of weeks earlier.  The views weren’t as spectacular and there was no room service or overnight dry cleaning at his new place, but he was enjoying having a space that was just his more than he’d expected.  He liked displaying his own art on the walls of his home and cooking in his own kitchen again.

He opened the sliding doors to the patio and stepped outside, glad that none of the Glimmer’s personal staff were around to observe him as he said a last goodbye to the place that he’d called home for quite a while.  He walked to the infinity balcony and leaned over admiring the view over the city and listening to the faint sounds of the crowds and the traffic far below.  He could feel the autumn chill in the air, the days getting noticeably shorter.  It was almost sunset, so he decided to stay and watch from this vantage point one last time.

The media attention had been pretty brutal in the weeks immediately following his and Glimmer’s break up, usually casting him in the role of a gold-digging gigolo who’d used Glimmer to further his career in her Grandfather’s chain of hotels and then broke her heart.   They didn’t let up until a couple of photos of Glimmer and her entourage of girlfriends started showing up on online as they partied their way across Europe.  When a photo of Glimmer dancing closely with the sovereign prince of some small European principality showed up on twitter the interest in Peeta finally began to fade.  He smiled to himself, knowing Glimmer most likely leaked the photo herself to draw the attention off him, if the winking emoji she’d text him around the same time was anything to go by.  But she’d never admit it to anyone else.

In the bedroom he gathered the last few personal documents and books he’d forgotten into a box and dropped his keycard in the drawer of the bedside table, switching off the lights on his way out.      

He felt sad that this chapter of his life was over but not heart-broken like he thought he was supposed to be.  He should be on his honeymoon in Europe right now, for god’s sake, but instead he was single again.  He kept waiting for some stronger emotion to hit him but the simple truth was, he was okay.  If anything, he was a little excited about the future and the new opportunities that were already presenting themselves.  It wasn’t like back when…

An image of a pretty dark-haired girl with tears running down her face came into his mind, immediately morphing into a more recent memory of a gorgeous woman with flashing silver eyes climbing into a taxi and driving away…

He shut down that train of thought quickly.   Dr Aurelius had said no good would come from letting his mind wander down those paths.  In the weeks since he’d bumped into her again, Katniss had made a reappearance in his dreams, costing him more than one night of sleep lost to restless tossing and turning.  So much so that he’d started painting in the small hours of the morning again.

He dropped his box of things off in his office downstairs and headed to the bar where he immediately spotted a head of blond wavy hair almost identical to his own.  

“Hey Rye,” he greeted his brother and slipped onto the barstool beside him, letting his eye run over the room.  Like everything in the hotel the restaurant exuded sheer luxury - from the long polished mahogany bar to the more private dining areas with deep seats upholstered in sumptuous dark blue velvet and tables set with the finest sterling silver cutlery and cut crystal glassware.  The only thing he didn’t personally care for were the large displays of snow white roses, but they were something of a trademark for the owner, Coriolanus Snow who insisted on them in all his hotels.

“Peeta.” Rye welcomed him with a pat to his shoulder and raised his finger to catch the attention of the bartender. “What are you drinking?”

“My usual please, Finch,” Peeta smiled at the bartender who came to serve him, a slender natural red-head with fox like features and pale eyes, “and whatever my brother wants.”

“A double on the rocks, and put it on his tab.” Rye winked and raised his glass.

Peeta chuckled and Finch gave them a closed lipped smile before scurrying off to get their drinks.

“This is some place,” Rye commented.  “It’s a far cry from the spit and sawdust of Abernathy’s bar, back home.”

“It is,” Peeta chuckled.  “Is the old man even still alive?”

“Sure is, and as surly as ever.  But enough of small town news, tell me how’ve you been,” Rye looked him up and down.  “We haven’t talked much in the last few weeks.  You don’t look too bad, all things considered.”

“Thanks, I’m doing okay,” Peeta lifted his drink and clinked it off his brother’s glass. “I’ve been busy with events here in the hotel and moving to my own place.  Next time you’re in town we should meet up my new apartment instead of the hotel.  I’ll cook you a steak.”

“It’s a deal,” Rye agreed. “I’ll bring the beer.  None of your fancy wines, thank you very much. You got a big TV?”

“I’ve got a regular TV and sports on cable,” Peeta laughed. “I prefer to use my walls for my paintings, not a huge flatscreen.”

“You can spare at least one wall for a decent 60 inch. The one in the suite we stayed in upstairs before the wedding was awesome.  We did you move out anyway, I thought you could live at the hotel for free as a perk of your job?”

“There is a private suite that comes with the package but with Glimmer due back in town soon I thought it was best to find my own place.   Better to keep a little healthy distance between us until things settle.” 

“Probably wise.” Rye agreed.  “Have you talked to her at all?” 

“Sure, a couple of times.  Honestly, we’re fine with each other.  I mean, yeah, it feels strange being a single guy again.  I miss her company and I miss sleeping beside someone at night.” He let out a small chuckle. “I even miss Caesar, but all things considered we’re good.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Glimmer is a great girl,” Rye sipped his whiskey, a thoughtful look on his face.  “Stupid dog, though.  Give me a mutt over a pampered pooch any day of the week.”

“Hey Caesar is great.  He might be small and fluffy but he has the heart of a great dane,” Peeta chuckled.  “The little dogs always do.  Besides—” Peeta stopped. 

“Besides what?”

“I think Glimmer may have done the right thing by calling the wedding off.” Peeta confessed. He cleared his throat. It was the first time he’d admitted as much out loud to anyone.  “Moving out will make everything less awkward in the long run, when she starts to see someone new.  I don’t think she’ll be single for long.” 

“Does it bother you?  The thought of Glimmer with another guy?”  Rye was watching him.

Peeta knew if he tried to lie, his brother would see right through it.  No one knew him the way Rye did.  He considered his response carefully, as he’d asked himself the same question a million times.

“No.” He answered truthfully.  It was the first time he’d fully admitted it, even to himself, and with it came a sense of relief.  “It really doesn’t bother me and that’s that thing.  It should, shouldn’t it?  I mean, I should be turning green with jealousy at thought of Glimmer with someone else, but I’m not.  All I want is for her to be happy.”

“Hmm.  What about you? Have you had any thoughts about moving on yourself?”  Rye raised an eyebrow. 

Peeta shook his head.  “No.  Relationships are the last thing I’m thinking about right now, and maybe not for a long time.”

“Who said anything about relationships? You have needs. You’re a young reasonably good looking guy—”

“Gee, thanks!” Peeta laughed at the back handed compliment.

“—all I’m saying is the ladies love a guy like you, and there is nothing wrong with a little healthy no strings attached fun.  Or a lot of healthy no strings fun if you prefer.  How about Finch over there?  She a bit of a fox and she keeps looking at you like she sees something delicious she’d like to eat.”

“Delicious but toxic,” Peeta snorted, shaking his head.  “I don’t do casual hook-ups but if I did I’d never choose someone at work.  It would be unprofessional.”

“But dating the granddaughter of your employer wasn’t?”  Rye laughed out loud.

“That was different, I was working someplace else when I met Glimmer.”

“Okay fair point,” Rye conceded, tipping his head.  “But tell me why you just described yourself as toxic?  Don’t tell me you bought into all that bullshit the media accused you of.”

“No, but look how my last two relationships ended.  The love of my life cheated on me and broke my heart, then my next serious girlfriend dumped me on our wedding day.  Even if—"

“Wait.”  Slowly Rye rested his drink on the bar and turned to face his brother, all former joviality had left his face. “Peeta, do you still believe Katniss Everdeen is the love of your life?”

“That’s an odd question to ask,” Peeta frowned.

“Humour me.”

“Fine then, the answer is yes,” he gave a slight nod of his head. “Yes, I believe Katniss is the great love of my life.  Hopefully not the last love. But the great one.  I loved Glimmer but it wasn’t the same.   I don’t think I could ever love anyone again the way I loved Katniss.”

Rye let out a deep sigh and ran a shaking hand though his hair.  “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

Peeta’s frown deepened. “Rye, what’s wrong?  You’re acting weird.”

“Peeta, there is something I need to talk to you about.  It’s been playing on my mind for some time, since long before the wedding was cancelled, if I’m honest.”

“Okay.  This sounds ominous.  It’s nothing to do with your health is it?  Or Graham, or Mom? The business back home is doing okay? Because you know I can help with that if you need—”

“No, no – calm down, the business if fine, Mom and Graham are fine, or at least they were, last time I spoke to them.  By the way, Mom said to tell you how foolish you were for letting a prize like Glimmer slip through your fingers.”

Peeta rolled his eyes. He could care less what his mother thought of him or his life, not when she couldn't even bothered to come to his wedding.

“Stop deflecting Rye.  This isn’t the first time you’ve hinted you had something on your mind and you’re not usually the type to hold back, so whatever it is, spit it out.”

“I worried if I do you’ll punch me in the face.”

“Rye, so help me—”

“Look, let’s move over to a table.” Rye threw back what was left in his glass and nodded to the bartender for another.  “We might need a little more privacy for this conversation.”

Once the brothers were resettled in a quiet corner with fresh drinks in front of them Peeta sat back and waited.

“It’s about Katniss.” Rye began nervously.

“What about her?” Peeta frowned.

“It’s about what happened between her and Gale Hawthorne the night of Madge’s party.”

Peeta looked at him, his frown deepening.  That was not what he’d been expecting to come out of Rye’s mouth.

“I already know what happened Rye.  I don’t need to hear the sordid tale of how you caught my girlfriend making out with another guy again.”  His tone was dismissive.

“Peeta, did you ever wonder why Katniss gave up trying to contact you after you broke up with her?” Rye’s voice shook a little as he spoke. He was nervous.

Peeta met his brother’s worried gaze with a now stony one of his own.  “I reckoned she figured out it was pointless to keep trying.  You caught her red handed and she knew that I’d never forgive her. Cheating is a deal breaker for me.  She knew that.”

“Okay, that’s reasonable.  But did you ever stop and ask yourself why you didn’t see her around at school later on, when she had a full ride to go to Panem U?”

“Yeah, she had, for tuition.” Peeta nodded. “We’d planned to live in the dorms for freshman year, and if we could find roommates we liked to share expenses with us, we’d rent a place and live together off campus after that. For the first month or so after school started I did look out for her.  Fuck, every time I saw a girl with olive skin and dark hair I hoped it was Katniss.” Peeta grabbed the whiskey bottle Finch had left on the table, and tossed back a shot.  “But after a while I figured out she must have gone somewhere else.  I guess she decided she didn’t want to see me either.”   

Rye locked eyes with him. “Before I tell you this, I need you to know that I’m really sorry. I want you to keep that in your head and remember it when I’m finished.”

“Sorry for what?”  Peeta eyed him warily.  “You’re starting to freak me out now, Rye.”

“I fucked up and got it all wrong, Peeta.  Katniss didn’t cheat on you with Gale the night of Madge’s party.  Or any other night.”

Peeta sat deathly still, his face impassive, as he stared at his older brother. The only reaction he showed to the grenade his brother had just launched at him was the darkening of his eyes from blue to black.

“What the fuck are you saying to me, Rye?  You’d better explain what you just said.  Fast,” he growled.

“Okay hear me out.  I need to start at the beginning.” Rye put up a placating hand.  “You remember that I had a massive thing for Madge Undersee, right?  I even thought I might be in love with her, but she only had eyes for Gale Hawthorne.” 

“Sure, I remember.  You always had a thing for blondes.”

“Still do.” Rye laughed dryly, but with no humour.  “I ended up crashing Madge’s party that night with a couple of the guys I used to wrestle with back in High School.  Cato and Marvel.  It was already late when we got there and Katniss was there hanging out with Madge and Gale. They’d all had a few drinks and looked pretty comfortable with each other.  Katniss and Madge were dancing and Gale was watching them both.  I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Katniss and Gale were friends since they were kids,” Peeta interrupted. “Madge was her best friend in High School.  Off course they were friendly. The only reason I wasn’t at the party too was because I was due at the bakery the next morning at 4am to finish a wedding cake, so Katniss tagged along with Gale instead.”

“Anyway,” Rye continued. “As the night went on I drank more and I managed to corner Madge on her own in the kitchen away from her friends.  I asked her to go out on a date with me, begged her to give me a shot, but she turned me down flat. I kept trying to charm her until she got pissed off told me to leave her alone, that she liked someone else.”

“Let me guess, that someone was Gale?” Peeta asked.

“Yeah.” Rye confirmed with a nod. “So I backed off with my tail between my legs, grumbling all the while to the guys about what was so special about Gale that made him so popular with the ladies, and what had he got that I hadn’t got.  They laughed, saying he had quite a reputation with the ladies and he was well known for frequenting the slag heap with different girls, but lately he’d been there a lot with a certain Seam girl.  They were looking at Katniss when they said it.”

Peeta raised an eyebrow at this.

“Anyway, by then I was drunk and feeling pretty sorry for myself.  A little while later I decided to call it a night and left to walk home when I heard some rustling and caught sight of Gale back in the trees.  At first I thought he was taking a leak, but then I realised he was leaning up against a tree because he had a girl backed up against it.   This kinda made me see red because Madge was back at the house waiting for him to make his move and he was here, wasting time with another girl.”

“Katniss.” Peeta growled, downing another shot.  It might be ten years ago, but it still hurt.  

“Yes.” Rye nodded.  “It was Katniss.  I saw him bend down and kiss her, but she must have seen me because she shoved him away and came running after me and we argued.   She tried to say what I’d seen was nothing, that she’d only gone outside to check on Gale because he was drunk and he came onto her.  She swore she never invited it.”

He took a deep breath. 

“I was so angry I couldn’t think straight.  I yelled at Katniss to get the hell away from me and to stay the hell away from you and told her she wasn’t good enough for you.  Gale came over and tried to throw a punch at me for yelling at Katniss, but he was a drunk as I was and he missed and we both ended up on the ground.  Then his friend Thom and Madge came out of the house and broke it up.  Katniss was crying and Madge took her inside.”

“I know this part Rye.” Peeta’s icy voice cut across him abruptly.  “But you never said anything about her shoving him away before.  You made it sound like she was a willing participant, that she was all over him.”

“I know.  I know I did.” Rye threw his hands up in the air. “I thought she shoved him away because she saw me, but I only found out years later that I was wrong about all of it.  After what Cato and Marvel had told me about Gale and a Seam girl at the slag heap, I put two and two together and made five.”

“When did you find out you were wrong?”  Peeta spat out, his head spinning.  The repercussions of what Rye had done were huge.  The whole path of his – and Katniss – life had changed because of what Rye said he saw that night.

“Not until a few years later.  Believe it or not, it was Gale who confronted me.  He and Madge were engaged, and I had long moved on.  They came by the bakery to order a wedding cake.  While Madge was distracted talking flavours and buttercream with Dad, Gale asked could he have a word with me outside.”

“At first I thought he was going to bring up my old crush on Madge, but instead he started talking about that night. He basically said he wanted to clear the air and Katniss’ name, and he confirmed everything Katniss tried to tell me years before was all true.”

A heavy silence fell between the brothers and Peeta sat stiffly as his brain tried to process this new information.

“But if he had feelings for Madge, why was he trying to kiss Katniss that night? That makes no sense!” Peeta burst out. 

“I asked him the very same thing.  He said his feelings for Madge were new and he never expected a girl like her would look at a Seam guy like him, let alone date one.  He was confused by what the true nature of his feelings for Katniss were.  They’d been friends for so long and everyone including his  family told him they’d end up together eventually but then she started dating you and he was worried he’d missed his chance.  So when one presented itself, he took it. He said he had to do it.  Just once.”

“And the seam girl he’d been sneaking around with at the slag heap?”

“Leevy Collins.”

“I can’t believe I’m only hearing about this now,” Peeta muttered dropping his head into his hands. “You should have come to me with this when Gale first told you, Rye.”

“I know.” Rye shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  “Gale told me Katniss gave him hell afterwards.  He felt bad when he found out that you broke up with her. They didn’t speak for a long time, but Madge invited Katniss to the wedding hoping they could patch things up.  Gale told me I should try and encourage you to go as well.  He hinted that Katniss wasn’t seeing anyone.”

 “Wait, so Katniss and Gale didn’t speak again until Madge’s wedding?”  Peeta exclaimed.  “That was years later!”

“I guess so.  I don’t know all the details. Katniss and Prim moved away when Prim finished High School. I guess they moved to the city then.  I didn’t keep tabs on her.  After you left she wasn’t on my radar.  I heard her Mom had died—”

“Wait, what - Mrs Everdeen died?!?”  Peeta's head shot up in shock and he suddenly realised just how far he’d distanced himself from his home town if this news never reached him.

“Yeah, I think it was the winter after you left to go to school that I heard a rumour about Katniss’ Mom.  Talk around town was she was really sick.  By then Katniss was working double shifts in Sae’s diner but she got another job working evenings in Abernathy’s.  Mrs Everdeen died about a year later.  Cancer, I heard.”

So Katniss finished raising Prim alone. Peeta thought. She had no one.

Why didn’t you tell me any of this back then?” Peeta clenched his fists tightly. He’d had arguments with his brothers before but he couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt so angry with Rye and it hurt.  Rye was his big brother, the one he could depend on who always stood up for him and been there for him. Deflected their mother’s rage onto himself when she would beat up on Peeta too hard.  “You never said a word.”   

“I didn’t think it would make any difference.  You never mentioned Katniss again, I thought you had put it all behind you.  You were living this amazing life in the city, you’d a great job, travelling all over the world in private jets, you had a gorgeous, sexy girlfriend.  I thought it best to let sleeping dogs lie.” 

“You could have told me some things, Rye.  I would have liked to know.  I would have sent flowers to Mrs Everdeen’s funeral.  I liked Mrs Everdeen, she was troubled but she was kind to me.”

“I didn’t want to make things worse for you, Peeta.” Rye’s tone had taken on a slight edge of annoyance.  “Don’t you remember what you were like back then?  After you left home any time anyone tried to talk to you about Katniss, you snapped their heads off.  You made it very clear you didn’t want any information from back home, Everdeen related or otherwise.  So in the end it was best not to say anything.”

“I was hurting, Rye.  I was devastated and angry, thinking my girlfriend had cheated on me and lied to me.”

“I know Peeta, and I get that now. I’m sorry. I take full responsibility.” Rye looked away, his guilt and shame written all over his face.  

An uncomfortable silence settled between the brothers, neither knowing where to go from there.  Even through the haze of his own anger Peeta could see how deeply upset Rye was.

“No.” Peeta eventually broke the silence. “It’s not completely your fault Rye.  It’s mine too.  I should have trusted my girlfriend when she told me she loved me instead of believing the worst of her.  I should have listened to her version of events. Maybe if I didn’t always feel like I wasn’t good enough for someone like her to love, we could have resolved it.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, testing her feelings, hoping if I showed her how much I loved her she would be more demonstrative when it wasn’t in her nature.”

“Back at the hotel, the day before the wedding, she said…” Rye trailed of, shaking his head.

“Back at the hotel she said what, Rye?” Peeta prompted.  “Don't stop now!.”

“She asked me if you were happy.  She made me promise to take care of you, for her.”

Peeta swallowed deeply, tears stinging behind his eyes.  Even this tiny sign that she still cared for him was too much.  

“Is there anything else, I should know? Any more surprises?” he cleared his throat, almost unable to speak.

Rye nodded hesitantly.  “There is one more thing,” he said, obviously troubled. “I promise this is the last of it.”

“Go on.”

“Somehow Mom found out about what happened, I don’t know how. Maybe she overheard me talking to Dad. She threatened Mrs Everdeen with Child Protective Services if Katniss went to the same school as you.”   

“Jesus Christ.”  The tears behind Peeta’s eyes finally began to fall.  He knew the threat of CPS would have terrified Katniss.  She’d confided her fears about her mother’s mental health to him many times, and was worried about leaving Prim to go to school.  He knew, with absolute certainty, that his mother making such a threat would have been enough to stop Katniss leaving for school, even if they hadn’t broken up.  She would never risk her sister ending up in foster care.

“Peeta, are you okay?”  Rye put his hand on his shoulder but Peeta shook it off and stood up.

“After everything else, it’s too much.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all this new information Rye.  I think I need to talk to Dr Aurelius.”  Peeta wiped at his eyes and tried to compose himself, suddenly remembering where he was. 

“Everything you’ve told me tonight has turned everything I believed about Katniss upside down.  I spent years believing the worst of her and it burned a hole in my soul.   It changed me as a person.  Now I find out all this.  Our family destroyed her, Rye.  You, me, Mom.  We took away her chances.  I shouldn’t have let that happen, I was supposed to protect her, we protected each other.  I’m the one who let her down and needs her forgiveness, not the other way around.”

“For what it’s worth, even when you still believed the worst of her, you had already forgiven her.” Rye offered.  “You were ready to let go of the anger.  All it took was seeing her that day, on the steps of the hotel.”

“Maybe so.  But now I have more questions than I have answers.”  Peeta was so confused.  “This changes everything.”

“I think you should go find her and talk to her.  Get some closure.”

“Do you think she would she want to talk to me?” Peeta shook his head. “I didn’t just break up with her that day, I tore her apart, Rye.”  Peeta brought his hands up, rubbing his temples which were beginning to throb.   “I called her unforgivable names and told her to crawl back to the slag heap where she belonged.”  

“Peeta, you have to know how truly sorry I am.”  Rye’s voice shook with emotion. “I never meant to cause—"

Peeta put his hand up to stop him. “I know.  But what’s done is done.”  He pulled out his wallet, throwing a handful of notes on the table.  “I’m going to leave now.  I have a lot of thinking to do.”

He left the table and made his way across bar being careful to avoid catching the eye of any of the other diners.  On seeing him approach, Finch came straight over.

“Please see my brother’s room and tab are charged to my account,” he instructed smoothly.

“Of course, Mr Mellark.  Have a good evening, sir.”  With a smile she retreated to serve another customer.

“Peeta, wait.” As he turned he found Rye was standing closely behind him. “I’m worried.  We’re brothers.  All I ever wanted was what was best for you. Are we going to be okay?”

“I need some time, Rye.  I need to process how I feel about all this.  This… this was huge.  What happened that night changed the course of my life.”

“Fair enough.” His older brother watched with saddened eyes.  “I understand.  Please call me when you’re ready to talk.  I’ll be waiting.”

#Without looking back again, Peeta walked away.  He didn’t remember bidding goodnight to the doorman, or climbing into the cab that took him home.  He let himself into his apartment, chucking off his suit jacket and loosening his tie before heading straight to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

Peeta flung himself onto his sofa, exhausted, his arm flung across his eyes as he tried to reconcile everything Rye had told him.  He felt like a steamroller had run over him.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Katniss didn’t cheat on him.  Katniss didn’t lie to him.  It wasn’t real.

Again and again it went around and around in his head.  How it must have hurt her when he’d taken Rye’s word over hers.  How betrayed and alone she must have felt.  A sob caught in his throat. 

“Katniss, I’m sorry, I should have believed you,” he spoke into the shadows of the empty room, feeling hot tears finally burning a path down his cheeks, whether from sorrow or shame he didn’t know.  “I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry,” he sobbed until he finally passed out.

READ on AO3

[harrysgoldrush]

chapter 2: styles v vegan contract

masterlist

tag list

part 1

Y/N Y/LN.

In her final year of law school and already planning on getting her LLM in Environmental Law and Politics. A true force to be reckoned with. Tom had told him that much the moment he closed the office door behind him.

Tom’s office was one of the bigger advisor’s offices on campus, with his desk pushed up against the left wall furthest from the door with two mismatched embroidered chairs that he had stolen from the Tisch School of Arts last year. A giant bookcase covered the whole back wall with books sitting on top of each neatly organized row. The right side of his office was occupied by a worn leather couch that had only fit through the narrow door by some miracle. There was a coffee table with some of the school’s different magazines and newspapers and a small black fridge that always had sodas and Tom’s leftovers.

Harry could imagine her taking naps on that sofa, falling asleep as she plotted her next protest, asking Tom for advice while he answered emails. She wouldn’t even knock, she’d make a beeline to the fridge to grab water. Except she hated those bottles. What did she do instead? Maybe she would finish Tom’s salad for him, his wife always brought him one for lunch and he only ever ate the “exciting” parts before he tucked it away in that fridge.

“Harry, she’s in two of your classes this semester,” Tom had laughed, setting his reading glasses down on his desk as he sat back down. “Your Public and Private Governance Seminar and International Trade and Investment Law and Policy Seminar. Those are small classes, I’m surprised you two haven’t met before.”

Sinking in his chair, he held his back closely as he defended, “We have met before. Last week at Sloan Energy.” 

“Ah,” Tom hummed, clearly entertained at Harry’s reaction. Scooting his chair closer, he closed his laptop so he could look directly at him. “She’s been leading that protest for a while now, I think it will be six weeks this Friday.”

“Is there any way to stop her?”

“From protesting for Green Energy? No.” Taking a deep breath, he rubbed at his neck and added hesitantly, “I suppose you could always talk to her? She’s reasonable enough, she just switched advisors this semester because she wanted to make Mark’s workload lighter; he’s semi-retired now.”

Tom went on to check in with Harry about his internship and how his classes were going so far but Harry could hardly focus, feeling himself drift towards the question of the hour: how could he convince her to move the protest?

From the short interaction he had had with Y/N and Tom’s high praise, he was beginning to think that he was Sloan Energy’s last hope. Why else would they turn to him, an intern, when they had a whole team of more than qualified lawyers? And why had Tom thrown him to the wolves, knowing that another student was leading a whole movement against the company?

Before he could ask, Tom was standing up and shaking his hand. “You’ll have to keep me updated on Sloan Energy and the protests. I’m eager to hear what happens.”

“Yeah, Tom I will. And thanks again for telling me about the internship.”

Tom was quiet for a minute, his smile frozen and his eyes narrowing before he nodded. “Of course, Harry. Jeff Azoff is an old student of mine. When he reached out about looking to hire students, I immediately thought of you. Pays a lot more than that paralegal you’ve been working for since your first year here.”

As Harry was leaving the office, he was surprised to see a new blue bin right next to Tom’s trash can. A single plastic salad bowl sat in it, still dripping water as if it had just been rinsed clean. 

“Is this new?”

“It was a gift, actually. Just got it last week.”

The first thing Harry did after his meeting was text Sarah and Mitch, asking what they knew of Y/N Y/LN. Walking briskly down the hallway, Harry’s searches on Instagram and Facebook proved to be a waste of time. Twitter was useless, with only a few pictures of protests with faces blurred and no mention of her. As he waited for the elevator, Harry opened a new note on his phone and began to type down everything he knew.

Studies Environmental Law

No social media.

Protests when not in class

In my governance and policy seminars

Meeting tonight????

Throughout his Financial Regulation seminar, Harry could hardly focus as their guest speaker outlined the history of finance regulation in the US, wondering how he had never noticed her in his classes. In the sea of sleek and professionally dressed law students, she was like a rainbow colored rocky shore. The only thing standing between him and a guaranteed job after graduation was a strangely dressed classmate.

As soon as they were dismissed, Harry unlocked his phone, relieved to see that Mitch knew her pretty well, having dated her old roommate last year. 

She was always really weird about showers. Her and Katie got into this huge fight at the end of the year because Katie had bought a Keurig and I guess that’s bad for the environment. When Y/N got mad about it, Katie locked herself in the bathroom and ran the shower for an hour. By the time she came out of the shower, Y/N had moved out.

Definitely weird.

Sarah had had class with her before and seemed annoyed at Mitch’s response.

It’s called being environmentally friendly, Rowland. Y/N has been practicing zero-waste since high school. She’s not weird, she’s thoughtful. My first year when I was dehydrated, she took me to the hospital and went to all of my classes for me to take notes. If I wouldn’t be risking arrest and my degree, I’d be protesting with her. She’s a better person than both of you combined. If she wasn’t so busy, she’d be top of our year easily. Why are you asking about her, Harry?

Ignoring her question, Harry put his phone away and kept walking, though he wasn’t entirely sure where to go. He hadn’t been able to convince Tom to give him her schedule although he could probably ask Jeff. And what was that meeting later tonight? Was it with Sloan Energy? Was that why they weren’t expected at the office today?

He wasn’t complaining, in fact he was beyond thankful to have a night to catch up with his studies and term papers, knowing he wouldn’t be getting much sleep either way.

Deciding to get a coffee to keep him warm while he plotted, Harry ducked into the Starbucks across the street and stood in line, making awkward eye contact at an old professor of his who was sitting with a much younger woman. Looking away quickly, his eyes landed on a basket with a sign that said ‘Reusable Cups $3.99’. 

Suddenly, he felt inspired.

Pulling his phone out again, he quickly typed into his search engine ‘is coffee or tea better for earth?’ with a surprising yet logical result. Grabbing two of the reusable coffee cups, Harry smiled widely at the barista.

“Um, just one coffee black. And whatever your healthiest hot tea is.”

Soon, Harry was walking briskly towards Sloan Energy, hoping Y/N wasn’t at her meeting yet. He had only seen her a few hours ago with her bright colors and worn fabrics but as he got closer to the building, it felt like it had been years since he heard her familiar voice, thanking the small gathering around her through her red and white megaphone. The hot drinks in his hand had managed to only spill minimally on the frantic trip across The Village, surviving the packed subway and crowds of tourists.

She was easier to spot now that he knew where to look. The crowd was smaller than it had been the day before, with a few slowly easing out of the group to get somewhere warmer. As Harry made his way to her, he was glad he didn’t have his internship today; he blended in much better with his dark jeans and black zip tie shirt with NYU School of Law embroidered on the chest.

He waited as she informed the group of tomorrow’s meeting times before approaching. It was just them now. Y/N didn’t seem too surprised to see him as she lowered her megaphone and walked towards him, one eyebrow raised as she took in the two white reusable cups in his gloved hands.

“What is this?”

“Green tea,” Holding it out to her, he pulled it back just as quickly and examined the two cups before holding out the other one. “This one’s green tea. Thought you might be cold.”

“No, I meant why are you bringing me a drink?” When he didn’t respond, she asked with a cautious smile, “Did you poison it or something?”

Shaking his head, Harry glanced towards the main doors of Sloan Energy as she took the drink from him, taking a sip before humming. “It's good. Thanks. Harry, right?”

“Yeah. Harry Styles.”

Looping her free hand through the wrist strap of the horn, she wrapped her bare hands around the warm mug as she looked up at him. “Well can I help you, Harry Styles? Or do you just like to watch?”

“Do you want to maybe grab a drink?” He asked, feeling colder with every second he stood under her cautious gaze.

“Besides the one you just gave me?” Smiling, she glanced at the watch on her wrist that looked more like a piece of wood before she cleared her throat and took another sip of her tea. “I have a meeting in an hour so I probably shouldn’t be drinking yet.”

Harry could feel his shoulders droop unintentionally and watched as her eyes widen before she added quickly, “But I’m starving. Have you eaten today?”

She had taken them to a vegan place only a few minutes away, leading them to a table without hesitation, leading Harry to believe she had probably been here a few times before. He was beginning to notice how attentive Y/N was, from the corner of his eye he could see her casually observing him as he read the menu above the counter.

 “Hope you don’t mind vegan, I always come here when I’m in the area.” She suddenly apologized as she dug through her backpack, taking out a much smaller back with her name sewn into it. “Their fries are really good, they’re air fried. The salads are pretty good too.” 

They were quiet, with her eating her guacamole burger as he used the bamboo utensils she had handed him once he sat down with his salad. 

“Don’t worry, they’re clean.” She had explained when he gave her a curious look. They’re safer than actual utensils, they last long. Better for the earth than those plastic things they give out here. Don’t even get me started on the metal stuff.”

The bag she had pulled out of her backpack had turned out to be a pouch with handkerchiefs, bamboo straws and bamboo utensils. The clinking he had heard earlier in her bag turned out to be mason jars.

“So, you just bring those with you everywhere?”

“Pretty much. I’m just doing my part to lower our carbon footprint. I bring my own containers and utensils mostly. Some places around here are getting better. Chloe, the manager, uses plates that are made of recycled materials and then recycles them again when they’re used.”

Nodding, Harry stabbed at his salad thoughtfully. “So why are you protesting Sloan? No offense, but don’t you have better things to do? Like study?”

“Why do you intern there? Aren’t there less morally corrupt businesses you could work for?”

“They’re one of the most successful energy companies on the East Coast--” He began but her sharp laugh was back, cutting him off quickly.

“And one of the most environmentally harmful energy companies in the US. It’s 2019, who uses coal anymore?”

“It’s not that harmful to the environment, it’s a natural resource.” He was glad he had paid attention to his Oil and Gas seminar last week. He only hoped she hadn’t. “Mining and burning the coal doesn’t harm the surrounding earth.”

“Uh, ever heard of global warming? They’re burning fossil fuels that are destroying the atmosphere. It’s not just cows.” She had been paying attention. Finishing off her sandwich, she took her final sip of her tea and looked at him expectantly. 

“What?”

“Just say that they’re paying you a shit ton of money to intern. You don’t need to defend them to me, I’m not going to change my opinion until they change their system.”

Sighing, Harry nodded, not knowing what else to say.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re here then?” 

He set down her bamboo fork, a sign of defeat. He hadn’t prepared as much as he should have.

“I need you to move your protest.”

“Because?”

“If I get you to move your protest from their front doors, they’ll give me an actual job on their legal team once I pass the bar.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t expected that, her voice laced with pity and uncertainty.

“Yeah.”

After an excruciatingly long pause, she nodded. “Okay.”

“What?” Harry was more than surprised as he watched her shrug and wipe at her hands with the dark red cloth she had laid over her lap when she had started eating.

“I’ll do it.”

“But?”

“I have conditions. Obviously. Do you have any paper?”

He shook his head and watched her begin to dig through her backpack. “What? Are you drawing up a contract or something?”

“Yep,” Pulling out a pen and an old flyer for one of the first protests with the words ‘recycled paper’ stamped on it, Harry watched as she began to write messily on the black back side of it. It was bright yellow and her pen ink was a dark blue, her handwriting long and looped which he found fitting. “Today’s the twenty-fifth right?”

When he hummed in agreement, she continued. “Okay. This contract is between Y/N Y/LN and Harry Styles. Y/N Y/LN has agreed to move her protest permanently from outside of Sloan Energy on the understanding that Harry Styles will educate himself on eco-friendly behavior and practices zero-waste to the best of his ability. Styles must also make an effort to change Sloan Energy from inside, beginning with recycling bins within the building. Once he is hired, Styles is expected to push for green energy. How does that sound?”

 “That sounds like I’m doing a lot more than you.”

“Do you want them to hire you or not? I’m doing you multiple favors here, Styles.”

“Can I read it over and get back to you?”

She nodded before quickly scribbling something at the bottom of the contract. After she slid it across the table, he realized it was her number.

“So we can meet outside of my protesting hours should you Don’t think your bosses would be too happy to see you fraternizing with the enemy.” She was smiling now, one full of mischief that made him feel like she was letting him in on a big secret. Harry couldn’t help but smile back, not quite sure what he might be agreeing on.

As she packed up, Harry was tempted to ask her where she was headed, but she beat him to it; it was like she could read his mind. “Don’t follow me this time, okay? Twice in one day should be enough for you, my own apartment is lucky to see me once.”

He didn’t see a point in disagreeing with the girl as she left the small café. Looking around, it was as if all of the charm of the room had vanished with her, the pink walls now looking faded, the table sticky, the chair uncomfortable cold. 

By the time he got home, it had only gotten colder. His roommate, Ed, was an aspiring musician who had decided tonight was the perfect night to hold a private concert in the shower, his only audience being the last of their cold water. Shivering, Harry simply changed into warmer clothes and sat at his desk, putting on an old rock station before he got to work.

Jeff had asked him yesterday to begin looking into Energy Law and he had a paper due in two days that he had yet to start. Choosing to begin on the latter, Harry got to work, cranking out three pages before he remembered the folded up flyer in his coat pocket. Deciding now was as good as ever to stretch his legs, he walked back to the living room to grab it from the coat rack, his eyes tracing over her handwriting that reminded him of  kindergarten teacher. 

Adding her number, he typed out a short text and paused for a moment. If he texted her, that was it. He’d be agreeing to do whatever it is she laid out in this contract of theirs. Still, if he wanted the job, he knew he had to at least try.

hey, it’s harry. how was that secret meeting of urs?

Returning to his desk, Harry was surprised when his phone pinged. He didn’t take her for a quick responder. His smile fell when he saw it was a text from Jeff. He never texts, he was an email addict. He had a template for almost anything.

What the hell did you do, Styles? Y/N Y/LN just left the office. Moving the protest to washington square.

Before he could respond, his phone pinged again, her contact name flashing at the top of the screen.

have you decided when you want to meet to sign the contract? :)

tags: @berrynarrybanana​ @brwnskin-bunnyteeth​ @harry-is-my-medicine​ @detroitkiwis​ @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @fromyourstrulyh​ @cassiopeiaskies​ @ggaayyyong @mortumnoctis

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

January 1, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Congress began the new year by repassing the National Defense Authorization Act over Trump’s veto, finding the two-thirds majority it needed to override one of Trump’s vetoes for the first time. The House of Representatives passed the bill on Monday by a vote of 322 to 87. The Senate vote was 81 to 13, with 6 Senators not voting.

The NDAA allocates the money Congress has appropriated for the military, and since Congress passed the first NDAA in 1961, it has never failed to pass.

This measure pushed back on a number of the president’s policies and demands. He wanted to be able to sue social media companies for things other people post on them—the law preventing such lawsuits is in Section 230 of the 1996 Communications Decency Act—but even staunch Trump supporter James Inhofe (R-OK) refused, noting that Section 230 has nothing to do with the military. Trump objected to the measure in the bill that requires renaming military bases that currently bear the name of Confederate generals; Congress left it in. Congress also specified that federal authorities must “visibly display” their name tags when operating in public, a rebuke to the administration’s deployment of officers in unmarked clothing this summer.

The NDAA also challenges Trump’s policies by slowing or stopping the removal of troops from Germany and Afghanistan, making it harder to move troops to our southern border, and blocking the removal of troops from South Korea unless the Pentagon signs off on the move. It caps at $100 million the amount of money the military can use on domestic projects, a protest of the president’s decision to fund his wall by moving $3.6 billion from other projects.

The NDAA also contains strong anti-corruption measures. Originally passed as the Corporate Transparency Act, these measures prohibit so-called shell companies with secret owners and operators, key tools of criminals and money launderers. The NDAA also regulates the antiquities trade, another haven for money laundering. The director of Transparency International’s U.S. office, Gary Kalman, called the bill “one of the most important anti-corruption measures ever passed by the U.S. Congress.”

After the Senate repassed the bill, Trump took to Twitter to call the Republican Senate “Pathetic!!!”

As the veto override indicates, the war between Trump and establishment Republicans is now out in the open. On the one hand are lawmakers who are publicly backing Trump and his on-going attempt to overturn the election; on the other hand are Republicans who don’t want to sign on to an assault on our democracy that, if it succeeds, would make Trump a dictator and remove all their power.

House lawmakers have indicated they will challenge some of the state electoral votes for Biden when Congress counts them on January 6. The process of gerrymandering, which protects Republicans from moderate challengers but leaves them open to challenges from extremists, has put a number of Republican radicals in the House, but the Senate has far fewer of them. A challenge from one house of Congress does not do anything, but a challenge to a state's electoral votes from both the House and the Senate means that both houses must debate whether or not to accept the electoral votes from that state. Then they decide by a simple majority vote.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) has tried to keep Senate Republicans from challenging any of the votes because he doesn’t want Republicans to have to go on record either for or against the president. The election was not close. Biden won by more than 7 million votes and by 306 to 232 in the Electoral College. The Trump campaign has either lost or had dismissed 60 of the 61 cases it has brought over the election, and its advisers are increasingly unhinged.

Today, for example, a Trump-appointed federal judge threw out a lawsuit filed by Louie Gohmert (R-TX) that sought to empower Vice President Mike Pence to throw out Biden’s victory. Pence had opposed the lawsuit, and after the judge ruled, attorney Lin Wood, who is a supporter of the Trump effort, bizarrely predicted that Vice President Mike Pence could “face execution by firing squad” for “treason.” (Twitter suspended his account.) Trump himself today retweeted an 8-minute video claiming that the Communist Party in China has secretly infiltrated America through Hollywood and newspapers and has bought Joe Biden. It urges “patriots” to defend America. To the tweet, Trump added: “January 6th. See you in D.C.”

It seems clear that, with no chance of proving this election fraudulent, Trump is now trying to incite violence. Nonetheless, Republicans who are jockeying for the 2024 presidential nomination want to make sure they can pick up Trump’s voters. While McConnell doesn’t want Senators to have to declare their support either way, those vying to lead the party want to differentiate themselves from the pack.

On Wednesday, Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO) announced he would join the efforts of his House colleagues to challenge Biden electors from Pennsylvania and perhaps other states. This will not affect the outcome of the election, but it will force senators to go on record for or against Trump. In a statement, Hawley listed Trump talking points: the influence of “mega corporations” on behalf of Biden and “voter fraud.” Hawley seems pretty clearly to be angling for a leg up in 2024.

On Wednesday night, Senator Ben Sasse (R-NE) made his own play for the future of the Republican Party. He refuted point by point the idea that Trump won. He scolded his colleagues who are signing on to Trump’s attempt to steal the election, calling them “institutional arsonists.”

“When we talk in private, I haven’t heard a single Congressional Republican allege that the election results were fraudulent – not one,” he wrote on Facebook. “Instead, I hear them talk about their worries about how they will “look” to President Trump’s most ardent supporters.” They think they can “tap into the president’s populist base without doing any real, long-term damage,” he wrote, but they’re wrong. “Adults don’t point a loaded gun at the heart of legitimate self-government.”

Today, Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT), the 2012 Republican presidential nominee, launched his own bid to redefine the Republican Party with an attack on Trump’s apparent botching of the coronavirus vaccine rollout. In a press release, Romney noted “[t]hat comprehensive vaccination plans have not been developed at the federal level and sent to the states as models is as incomprehensible as it is inexcusable.”

But he didn’t stop there. Romney went on to say that he was no expert on vaccine distribution, “[b]ut I know that when something isn’t working, you need to acknowledge reality and develop a plan—particularly when hundreds of thousands of lives are at stake.” He offered ideas of his own, offering them “not as the answer but as an example of the kind of options that ought to be brainstormed in Washington and in every state.” After listing his ideas, he concluded: “Public health professionals will easily point out the errors in this plan—so they should develop better alternatives based on experience, modeling and trial.”

Romney’s statement was about more than vaccine distribution. With its emphasis on listening to experts and experimenting, it was an attack on the rigid ideology that has taken over the Republican Party. Romney has said he comes to his position from his own experience, not his reading, but he is reaching back to the origins of conservative thought, when Irish statesman Edmund Burke critiqued the French Revolution as a dangerous attempt to build a government according to an ideology, rather than reality. Burke predicted that such an attempt would inevitably result in politicians trying to force society to conform to their ideology. When it did not, they would turn to tyranny and violence.

Sasse’s point-by-point refutation of Trump’s arguments-- complete with citations—and Romney’s call to govern according to reality rather than ideology are suggestive. They seem to show an attempt to recall the Republican Party to the true conservatism it abandoned a generation ago.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[anthearose]

B A S I C

NAME: anthea rose thomas

NICKNAME(S): thea

AGE: 25

DATE OF BIRTH: 26 april 1995

GENDER: genderfluid

PRONOUNS: she/her but doesn’t mind they/them

F A M I L Y

MOTHER: dawn eddwards

FATHER: richard thomas

SIBLING(S): unknown

P H Y S I C A L

FACE CLAIM: cara delevingne

RACE/ETHNICITY: english, welsh, 

NATIONALITY: english, has american citizenship

HEIGHT: 5 feet and six inches (5′6)

WEIGHT: 112 lbs

BUILD: slender, toned

SCARS: inside of arms from drug taking

HAIR: dirty blonde, medium length

EYE COLOR: blue

DOMINANT HAND: right

ACCENT: english

PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: none

MENTAL DISABILITIES: none

ALLERGIES: nuts

DISORDERS: none

FASHION: wears mostly black, has a ‘grunge’ style

NERVOUS TICS: lip biting 

L I F E S T Y L E

HOME ADDRESS: evergreen dock, somerton, maine

RESIDES: small two bedroom apartment with roommate layla ferguson

BORN: london, england

RAISED: london, england

VEHICLE: chevy silverado, black

PHONE: iphone 11

LAPTOP/COMPUTER: macbook pro

PET(S): none

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: dropped out at 16, sat ged aged 20

COLLEGE EDUCATION: none

MAJOR: none

MINOR: none

CAREER: exotic dancer

EMPLOYER: dark sensations strip club

DIET: vegan

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

MARITAL STATUS: single

CHILDREN: none

LANGUAGES: english

PHOBIAS: isolation, enclosed spaces

HOBBIES: video games, guitar, reading

SOCIAL MEDIA: uses twitter and onlyfans mostly

F A V O R I T E

LOCATION: the beach

VIDEO GAME: call of duty, left 4 dead, gta v, mario kart (she will fight dirty)

MUSIC: varying, listens to a lot of rock music 

SONG: rebel rebel - david bowie

TV SHOWS: friends, stranger things, how to get away with murder

MOVIES: labyrinth, the shining

FOOD: everything

COLOR: she’ll swear its black but it’s actually pink

C H A R A C T E R

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good

MBTI: enfp-a, the campaigner

ENNEGRAM: seven

TEMPERAMENT: sanguine

WESTERN ZODIAC: taurus

CHINESE ZODIAC: pig

PRIMAL SIGN: wombat

B I O G R A P H Y

tw for non-con & underage sex, prostitution, drugs and violence

Born and raised in the bustling city of London, Anthea, or Thea as she preferred, never really had it easy. Her father had left her mother long ago, only keeping in contact with his daughter through the occasional letter and birthday card. He lived in America and as Thea understood, he had some big fancy job with a large company. Thea always daydreamed about the day her father would burst through the door, scoop her up and rescue her from her miserable life. She dreamed of what it’d be like to live with him in his home and not have to worry about where her next meal was coming from. Of course, that never happened. Her mother was barely home, always out looking for ways to fuel her various addictions. It usually meant prostituting herself and for a long as Thea could remember, her mother would bring strange men home and be locked in her bedroom for hours at a time. 

It didn’t take long for her to work out what was going on - by the time she was seven, Thea understood, especially when the men made advances towards her. But she knew how to look after herself, even at that age and every time they tried, she either replied with a biting comment or, more often than not, a sharp slap to the face. It was usually enough to get rid of them and send them sulking back to her mother so they could pay what she was owed before taking their leave. 

Despite her unconventional home life, Thea got by. She often stole from local supermarkets to get the things she needed, but she cooked her own meals and appreciated the roof over her head. She wouldn’t say she was happy but she survived. Her mother spent her days sleeping with people for money or getting high in their tiny apartment. 

When she was fourteen, her life changed. Her mother pulled her from school and gave her an outfit to change into before taking her to an apartment block she’d never been to. Thea was frightened, told her mother she wanted to go home but she was only led into a grimy apartment by a group of unfamiliar men while her mother waited outside. She heard her daughter’s pleas and cries for help but did nothing to stop what was happening. It was only when there was a fat wad of money in her hands that she took Thea out of the apartment and brought her home, telling her this was her life now. She told her Thea would have to get used to it or starve because she was leaving. 

And just like that Thea was left alone, fourteen years old, no money and no job. 

She was able to contact her father after several weeks. He immediately flew her to America, had her sign some forms she didn’t really understand, and told her she’d be living with him from now on. She was enrolled at a local high school and told to keep quiet about what happened in England. She didn’t understand why, not really, but made sure not to tell anyone. She kept her head down as much as she could. Life with her father wasn’t quite what she’d expected either. His job was different to what she’d imagined when she was younger. He didn’t work in a fancy office, he worked from home and had several people coming and going, purchasing things from him for a large amount of money at a time. It only took her a few weeks to realise her father, the man she’d always imagined would be her hero, a knight in shining armour, was a drug dealer. And an addict himself. 

Thea stopped paying attention in school and in just two years since she moved to America, she was more depressed than ever. She dropped out of high school, even started taking drugs herself and fell in with what could be considered the wrong crowd. Maybe this was what she was destined to be. Maybe this was all there was for her. When her father was arrested for dealing drugs, she was placed in foster care. That had only lasted a couple of weeks before she ran away. Selling her body wasn’t really something she ever intended on doing but it was the only way she could get by. She had no education, no money and needed to do something. It was all she had left, the only thing she had any experience in. Granted, she hadn’t exactly been a willing participant back then and her mother had gotten the money, but it had happened. Thea had nothing left to lose. 

She began to sell her body for sex. Thea hated every minute of it, but it paid. She had enough to rent a tiny apartment in an unpleasant neighbourhood, but it was hers. Sure, she still was hooked on drugs but she got by. It continued like that for several months when she was approached by a different sort of man. The people she usually slept with were often older, other addicts she was sure, and just looking for five minutes of fun. But this one was different - younger, kinder.  

Thea didn’t trust him immediately. She had been looking after herself for as long as she could remember and her previous experiences told her men only wanted one thing. But she went back to his hotel room, unable to turn down the amount of money he was offering her. Thea was even more surprised when the young man didn’t immediately want her body and offered her food and a glass of wine. 

She learned his name was Anthony and he told her he was planning on opening up a new business, a brothel of sorts. It was going to be legitimate, according to him, although not entirely legal and all of “his girls” would be well looked after. At first, Thea refused. She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t prepared to put her life in danger for some fantasy that sounded far too good to be true. If she accepted she had no doubt she’d be trafficked and sold on the black market for unspeakable things. 

As time went on, the man continued to visit Thea and slowly gained her trust. She met with someone who already worked for Anthony several times too and in a matter of weeks, she accepted his offer. Without a glance back, Thea left and moved across the country to work. Anthony helped her get off the drugs, showed her what there was to actually live for, and her life changed. Her every need was catered for - her new home was the brothel itself and rent came straight from her earnings. All her groceries were provided for her and she was able to decorate her personal quarters however she pleased. 

Usually Thea was fine when working. Most men just wanted a quick fuck and they didn’t care about anything else. Some of her clients wanted more unconventional things but Thea didn’t shy away from these, knowing they earned her more money. She didn’t care though - sex was just sex to her, and it paid. For the next three years, Thea lived and worked in Anthony’s brothel. Her regular clients bought expensive gifts, the brothel itself had armed security for the safety of the workers. It was the perfect job. 

Well, almost.

Thea had one problem, and that was in the three years she’d been there, she’d fallen in love with Anthony. It was an unspoken rule in the business - don’t fall for the boss. He had a girlfriend, Courtney, but she rarely visited the brothel. She didn’t like to associate herself with the girls who worked there, which was just fine with Thea. She kept her feelings to herself and thought everything would be fine. She was usually the one who brought Anthony his morning coffee but on one particular morning, things were different. She noticed he seemed tense and was pacing back and forth in his office. There was something about his expression that had Thea stopping in her tracks. She was almost frightened. But then he’d stopped and grabbed her, holding her against the closest wall to kiss her. 

This was everything she’d ever wanted and Thea gave herself to him easily. She wasn’t naive and didn’t really believe in happy endings but there had always been a part of her that had hoped Anthony would somehow realise her feelings for him and return them. Thea had fallen head-over-heels in love with him and had hoped he would get her out of the prostitution game for good. She didn’t want to sell her body anymore, not now she knew Anthony wanted her. Maybe she could help him run the brothel. She was nineteen and she knew the business well enough, right?

Wrong.

That night it was like it’d never even happened. Anthony didn’t look at her when he told Thea her clients were arriving. She was still in his bed and here he was, telling her to return to her room so she could work. Thea was confused but she assumed maybe it was due to Anthony’s relationship with Courtney. He couldn’t let anything be too obvious, right? Not if he was still in it, and maybe he was looking for a way of ending things with her before he swept Thea off her feet. She’d just have to wait. 

What Thea didn’t know was that Anthony had been filming for weeks. He filmed the two of them in bed together, filmed Thea with her various clients and posted the entire thing on the internet. It wasn’t until one night, while she was with a client, that she found out. Courtney had burst in, grabbed Thea’s hair and pulled her straight off the bed, uncaring that she was naked. Thea was thrown against the wall and Courtney screamed at her. It was like she was throwing every insult under the sun at her. 

Thea couldn’t remember much of the attack. Only that her client had left quickly and that when she woke, everything ached. Thea was still in her room, still naked, and beaten black and blue. She’d pulled on her robe and staggered to Anthony’s office to seek help. The sight that greeted her when she got there nearly made her throw up - Anthony taking Courtney on his couch, much like he had with Thea just the day before. They were celebrating something and when they saw Thea, both started laughing at the sight of her. 

Thea learned of the videos Anthony had secretly taken and that the whole thing had been a set up. Courtney had learned of Thea’s feelings for him and together they had hatched a plan of revenge. Anthony had seduced her, recorded everything and uploaded it to the internet. The second attack was worse than the first. Thea wasn’t sure if it was because she was already so injured or whether it was because Anthony joined in. She’d blacked out at some point and this time when she woke up, she was in an unfamiliar alleyway, her belongings in a battered box beside her. 

She was in hospital for several weeks recovering. Unemployed and now homeless, Thea knew she had to do something. She wouldn’t go back to that life. She wasn’t sure she’d survive a second time. So she left, moving from town to town, doing odd jobs here and there, stealing food to survive once again. She reached the small town of Somerton in Maine just before her 20th birthday and got a job at the local strip club. Although how she got the job, she wasn’t quite sure. In her interview she had been exhausted, fed up with rejection after rejection and when she was asked the typical “Why do you want to work here?” she had been a little too honest. She told the interviewer she had worked as a prostitute since she was sixteen and knew what it was like to be at rock bottom so if she could just serve drinks to the customers here, she’d be thankful because at least she wouldn’t feel disgusted with herself. 

Somehow, it had landed her the job. For the first couple of months she served drinks behind the bar but she got to know everyone who worked at the club well. It wasn’t until one of the dancers told her that they were in complete control she began to think about what it’d be like to be one of them. She had been exploited for years and some may say this job was no different. But Thea saw it a different way - she was safe here, she knew that. And if these random men wanted to give her hundreds of dollars just for showing her body and dancing in skimpy outfits, then she’d argue they were really the ones being exploited. Not her. 

That was how she got to where she was now. Five years had passed since she arrived in Somerton and she was settled. She had an apartment right on the coast, a roommate that she liked hanging out with and a job where she was in complete control. No one pulled the strings behind the scenes, no one was controlling her or took a cut of her money. She was safe, she was happy and Thea could only look forwards. 

[not-ur-normie]

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+ Diavolo)

Hey there! This is my very first headcanon thingy, so i would like to apologise for my bad english, its not my mother language. Also, it was so long ago when i last wrote anything similar in english, so once again, sorry. 

Anyway, i really wanted to write it, so let me know if you like it! + If you want general group headcanons with them as a kpop group, pls let me know it as well! (Or a similar one with Simeon, Luke and Solomon, hehe) Love! 

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+Diavolo)

DIAVOLO - The CEO of the company - It was the main goal in all his life to see Lucifer shining on stage - Okay, not, actually he only knows Lucifer since a shitty survival program - I mean, Lucifer is already hiper super extra giga mega beautiful in his eyes, but! Lucifer! on! stage! is the main Lucifer - So he maid a company for him - Lucifer was like 'wtf dID U DO' (okay, he didnt say it in this way, but-) - He is an understanding boss - Doesnt plan to debut any other group, so his company wont suck lol - Has all the money only for the bois - Altho he is really kind and understanding, he expects the guys to work extra hard do achive success - Sometimes goes to variety shows with his group and acting like a proud dad around them - Fans say that he is the 8th member of the group - Has his own fansites - Sometimes does modelling (has a duo photoshoot with Lucifer which he is extra proud of and some of its pieces are on his wall in a big canvas) - Fans ship him with Lucifer (not suprising) - He bought two houses next to each other. One is his and the other is the guys'. - Has a cameo in one of the mvs of the group - Does acting, has a lots of main roles - He is POPULAR

LUCIFER - Leader of the group - Also dad of the group (i mean if you dont count Diavolo) - He and the others participated in a survival program, but didnt make it - Got kicked out of their prev company - Thats when Diavolo became a fan of him and decided on founding one for him - Lucifer only agreed on joining if his teammeat could go too - Most popular in the group - Does everything Diavolo asks him to do - Makes the guys practicing till morning - Barely sleeps - Also does acting - Really bad at doing fanservice - Extremely caring towards fans - Always makes sure that the fans are doing okay, writes short messages on fancafe, uploads pictures (never about himself) on ig and twitter and reminds fans to take care of themselfs - Staying up super late to read fancafe letters from fans - Gives special attention to communicate with fans - However... He shamlessly blocks fans who upload meme pics about him or hurt his pride - HE IS SERIOUS - Thanks to this, fans never EVER mock him - Has a solo album - Won against his own group once in a music show (Levi said how it was not fair and Satan was pissed) - Never dyed his hair and never will - According to some poll, he is one of the most handsome men in kpop - He hates fanwars and when there is one, he tells the fans to stop  - He also hates rumors

MAMMON - He wanted to became a worldwide idol so he can get more money - Actually he was really bad at everything when he joined that survival program - Fans started to love him bc of his hard work (((for the money))) - Always forgets their own choreography - The whole fandom jokes about how stupid he is - He is always truly offended and scolds the fans on vlive - Fans make memes out of him and love dissing him - Fans think he is super cute and he is loveing it - LOVES fansigns but always blushes if he needs to hold hands with fans - Tries to act tough anyway - Cries in every. fkin. concert. (giving birth to new memes lol) - Once made a "joke" about how fans should donate him money instead of giving presents and it became a HUGE scandal, Lucifer and Diavolo deadass wanted to kick him out of the group - Does vlive a lot bc he loves talking about everything: how he bought a new car, new shoes, how he wanted to prank Lucifer with Satan and how they failed blah blah and so on - He is that member with zero lines, but has fair screentime - Modelling and super popular - Tried acting bc "he is too good at everything" but failed (he is not too good, but too shy lol) - The loudest member - Variety shows love him thanks to his idiotism - He says he is the "cutie sexy" member of the team - Once a fan started crying in front of him at a fansign out of happiness and Mammon was so touched he started crying as well

LEVIATHAN - His nickname is Leviachan for a reason - Fans know how much of an otaku he is so they always buy him anime related stuff and LEVI IS TRULY HAPPY ALL THE TIME - He even post about his presents at twitter and ig - Does gameplay vlives - Also has a youtube channel where he uploads every kind of videos: gameplays, gameplays, anime reviews, manga recommendations, gameplays, videos about his Ruri-chan collection, gamplays... and more gameplays - Uploaded a video where he and Mammon tried to snake into Lucifer's room to film him while he is asleep, but got caught and Lucifer started to shout at them - He needed to deletet it bc Lucifer wanted to kill him for publishing it - Fans didnt reupload out of fear from Lucifer - Shy at fansigns but compfy with old fans and fansites - Doing cosplay - At the begining he was reather shy on stage, but since he got used to it... aegyo all the way - Loves when they promote in Japan - In variety shows when the mcs ask him about his hobbies he always ends up talking too much, so to others need to stop him - According to fans, he has e-boy vibes - He is the one who posts everything thats happening with them on twitter, so the fans really ALWAYS know whats up whit the guys - Once accidentally tweeted out their hotel room numbers and fans found them (Lucifer was hella angry)

SATAN - Mom of the group, even if he hates it - Like if Lucifer is the dad, no way that he is the mom - Also prince of the group - Has good vocals but can rap too - Writes lyrics - Started acting bc he was sure he is better than Lucifer - Won an award for his main role in a detective series - Has a whole collection of books bought by fans - Gets angry easily which is the reason why fans often mock and make memes about him - Reads the messages fans send him and replies; sometimes its only a heart, sometims its advice or kind words - Came up with the groups greeting - According to the other members fansites, he is so handsome that its hard to not take pictures of him - Thanks to this, all the others fansites have at least two posts about him - Fans going insane when he starts smiling - Plays the guitar - Multilanguage king - Cant do fanservice - Literally hates fanservice - Once in Weekly Idol, him and Lucifer needed to hold hands and say nice things to each other after the others told the mcs how awkward their relationship is - That was the worst moment in his entire life - Wanna do a solo album, but didnt have the chance yet (Diavolo promisd him tho) - He has th best fashion sense after Asmo - Has a cat in the dorm and the fans love it like its their own - He has a great memory, so he remembers the names of the fans who attended their fansigns at least two times 

ASMODEUS - Main vocal of the group - Self claimed visual of the group - He posts the most, almost everyday - Loves doing make up - The most fashionable member - A big ass diva - Went to king of masked singer but didnt win it - Has a solo album - He loVES FANSERVICE, HE LIVES FOR IT - With members, with fans, it doesnt really matter - The best at fansigns, he is so direct - Hold hands with fans, gives hugs, let them touch him - On the groups YouTube channel, he has this special segment called "Asmo cam" - He shows whats happening in backstage during promotions - Designed their debut album's look - Also designed the lightstick - Complains to the stylists if he dislikes an outfit - MCing - Reads the fanfictions fans write about the group and teases the members with it - Doing shower vlives, where there is only voice, so the fans can hear him singing in the shower (he also brags about how beautiful he is and how unlucky his fans not seeing the full beauty of his body) - If a fan post about him saying dirty things, he will reply with even more dirtyer stuff - Most of his fans are hard stans

BEELZEBUB - Maybe i am headcanoning it wrong, but for me Beelzebub is a rapper - The only reason he is not part of the aegyo line bc he never does aegyo but naturally cute enough for fans to cry over his cuteness - He is so sad that fans mustnt give him food in fansigns, but Diavolo is against it out of fear of some antifan trying to poison them - Mukbang videos - Mukbang shows love and hate him at the same time - Eating everywhere and everytime - He even eats at the middle of concerts - Fans have a bunch of memes about him - According to fans, he is like a big puppy who must be protected by all costs - All cool and serious on stage, all cuddly and cutie off stage - Main dancer of the group, always helps with the choreographys - Has an own restaurant, where fans can buy his fav foods... And there is a lot of that - One of the sweetest bubs in fansigns, he is easygoing and thanks to this its not hard to talk to him - Fans dieing to see him take off his shirt, but it havent happend yet - In one of his birthday lives Mammon dropped his cake out of accident and HE WAS SUPER SAD - Most of his social media post are about food. What he ate, whats he wanna eating, what he recommends eating, notes to fans to dont forget to eat - Fans never tell him to dont forget to eat, bc they know he wouldnt - Fans ship him with Asmo and Belphie - Loves tours bc he can eat a lot of delicious food around the world

BELPHEGOR - Devil maknae - Makes fun of his hyungs, but loves them endlessly - Sleeps in backstage all the time; while his make up is done, while his hair is done, why waiting for rehearsal - Lucifer has the hardest time with him if it comes to practice - I mean, Belphie deadass can fall asleep the middle of some choreo - Didnt love doing agyeo, but fans are over the moon if he does, so he is doing it often - He doesnt have a fixed role in the group, sometimes he sings and sometimes he raps - One of the best dancers, but he is too lazy to show his full potential - He often falls asleep while doing vlives - Once in an ig live he told the fans that it doesnt bother him that they have haters, bc he hates the haters as well - He barely posts on social media; if there are pictures about him, they are mostly from the other members (especially from Beel) - He has a super big pillow he got from a fan to his birthday when he was still a trainee and this is his favourite pillow - He is the one with zero solo activity, bc if he has free time he reather sleeps than going to shoot something

Feel free to add anything that comes into your mind!

[flowerkidlxrry]

Only Want You (David Dobrik)

Hey guys! It’s been a long time since I’ve written something but I just can’t get this song out of my mind. If you know the song “Only Want You by Rita Ora” then you’ll probably get this :)

Here it goes!!

You just ended up things with David and you’re back to your apartment. As you walk inside your apartment, you could still smell his scent and it lingers across the room. It’s like he’s there but he wasn’t. You plopped down the couch and started crying until you fell asleep.

Days have passed and you’re still miserable you miss him but you know that you both wanted to end things and it’s what you guys needed. His life and your life was too different from eachother and its causing either your career or his career.

You stand up from your bed and went to the restroom to pee. While peeing you decided to check your social media accounts. Then you opened, Instagram. The first story you saw was from Jason, and the squad was invited to a party. You scan your eyes through the video as you search for David and you saw him laughing his heart out with Todd and just talking. You imagined being there with him and just talking but still reality hits you right in the face and you remember that you and David are done.

You decided to invite your friends to go to a bar just to clear your mind off of David. You’re having a good time with your friends and you somehow forget about him but still, there’s this emptiness that you can’t even explain. You started drinking more and dancing and having fun with your friends. You somehow flirted and talked with other guys too. You’ve been asking them for coffee, handing out your number and you’re doing everything just to forget about David. Alcohol is working though because you kinda forget about him. It’s already late and you think it’s time to go home so you ask your friends to pack up because it’s already 4am and you’re exhausted from drinking and dancing.

When you reached your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and started walking towards the couch. You sat there for a minute, a little bit drunk and a little bit sober you thought about you and David again. You were dazing off and you got snapped out of it when your phone rang, you answered,

“Hello?”

“Oh, Hi. This is Luke, well you gave me your number a while ago, and I was wondering if you want to have lunch tomorrow? I mean it’s already 5am so maybe later? but lunch? ugh I think you get me, am I right?” Luke talking fast and nervously.

*you chuckled softly*

“Hey, Luke. Yes! Sure, I would like to have lunch with you.” you replied.

“Okay, perfect well text me your address and I’ll pick you up around 2pm yeah?” Luke said.

“Yeah sure well, see you!” you said.

You texted Luke your address and you walked towards the bathroom and started taking a bath. After you were done you decided to put on a shirt and underwear and decided to sleep the alcohol remaining on you.

You woke up around 11am and you decided to scroll through Twitter and Instagram. Nothing much to see there so you decided to watch Dynasty from Netflix.

After 2 episodes you decided you need to start dressing up. So you brushed your teeth, combed your hair and put a little bit of make up on. You changed into a new outfit and you waited for your doorbell to ring. After 10 minutes it rang, you answered and it was Luke. You don’t even remember that he looked like that. Yes he was tall as David and his hair is also messy like David’s. You smiled as you walked out of the door.

Lunch was good. You were full and you enjoyed Luke’s company. You thought to yourself, “Am I starting to finally forget David?” “Maybe.” but that’s what you thought.

You went back to your apartment and asked your friends to come with you to the bar again that evening. Of course your friends being your “nice” friends they said yes. This kind of been a habbit that every night you and your friends would go out clubbing.

On the other hand, things are much worse than Y/N can imagine.

It’s been days since Y/N decided to cut things off and I’m still miserable. I try to be happy when I’m with my friends cause I don’t want them to worry about me. I’m not fine though, but I know I’ll be fine. Maybe it’s for the best? or maybe I made the biggest mistake of my life? I don’t know anymore. I can’t think straight.

Jason asked David if he wanted to come with him and Todd out clubbing since they just got finished uploading their vlogs. David said yes just so they would stop bugging him about how he looks miserable and that they can see that David didn’t really wanted to end things with you.

When they reached the club, they realized it was full of people but they don’t wanna waste time so they still squeezed in until they were there drinking and laughing about things in the vlog and issues outside the club. For a second, David forgot about Y/N it was like he was having so much fun. So he started dancing with strangers and asking girls for their numbers.

(y/n)

One night, you were out by yourself you felt like you have to do it and you needed it. So you went in a convenient store and you bought a pack. You were thinking about David again. You kept on walking and walking around the streets of LA when you realized that you’re walking on your way to David’s neighborhood. You were already there so you said to yourself might as well walk maybe David is to busy with his life and you won’t even bump in to eachother.

So you keep on walking while having a cigarette and you were thinking about the things that have happened and might have happened. You keep on telling yourself, what if? What if I didn’t have to leave. What if I tried to be more understanding? What if I believed in him? A lot of things are going through your mind as you walk around the neighborhood. As you were walking, you realized you’re near David’s house already.

You let out a big sigh and you couldn’t take it anymore as you walk tears start rolling down your face. You tried to stop it but it’s pouring out just like your heart. You sit on the sidewalk and you started to scream in frustration. You want to go to David run in to his arms and admit that you’re sorry and that you love him so much and you understand everything clearly. and that you’re tired of trying to replace him because you can’t.

(David)

I was about to leave with Jeff when he forgot something back to my house so he went back to go get it. I waited inside the car and I was thinking about Y/N. How it could’ve been and maybe if I tried to stop her. But I can’t take it anymore. It’s like she doesn’t understand what I’m doing, and I think that she needs to understand it. Isn’t it the reason we met eachother? I’m tired of looking a trace of her in other girls and I just can’t keep my mind straight. I am confused with what happened, if there’s just a reset button, I probably hit reset; back to the time when it’s all just fun and games.

I was in a daze when I heard someone screaming. It’s like someone’s being frustrated so I tried to follow the sound and saw a girl sitting in a sidewalk and I think she’s crying. Well I don’t really care about the crazy things that happens in my neighborhood but when I head the girl I could feel her pain I could hear how hurt she was. I was about to step out of the car when Jeff came back. He saw the girl crying and we stared at her for a good 30 seconds before he decided that we should go.

When Jeff was about to go, the girl stood up and started walking near us. We were parked in front of my driveway and to be honest I kinda feel scared. What if she’s a psycho, what if she killed me and Jeff? A lot of bad things are running through my mind when I recognized something on her.

She was wearing my merch! She’s near us when I realized it was Y/N. I hurriedly went down the car and towards her. She looked up to me and I can see from her eyes that she has been crying. I cupped her face and wiped her tears and tried to shush her making the both of us cry. I put my lips on her forehead and hugged her. It was that kind of hug where there’s no talking but you can feel what’s the message. It was those kind of hugs that will take away all of the pain and suffering that we both have been feeling. There was nothing to talk about and we already knew what that hug meant. She looked up to me again and whispered “I missed you.” I look at her cupped her face and kissed her and whispered “I only want you baby” while smiling. I mean we tried kissing while crying which is hard so we pulled away and it was happy tears. It felt like all the sadness in the world is gone. All I can feel is my girl next to me as I try to savor this beautiful moment with her.

I don't want somebody like you

I only want you, I only want you, yeah

I don’t want somebody brand new

I only want you, I only want you, yeah

[maia]

A Complete History of My Salary & Wages

A few months ago, I listened to a podcast interview of Ashley C Ford where she laid out the details on how much money she makes, and from which sources. I’ve thought about it a couple times since then and found it very grounding and reassuring whenever I did, even though I am not on the same career path as Ford, and I had never heard of her before the interview. (I have since started following her on twitter though and highly recommend it).

If you follow me on twitter, you know I am brutally honest on all kind of intimate topics. It’s because I believe in the strength behind transparency and the impact it can create. Transparency is particularly powerful with salaries and compensation, and that is why we had transparent salaries at Pinch. Well, that’s my motivational vibe.

So I am posting my complete salary history here in the hopes that it is interesting or helpful to other people.

2007: ~$25,000 in wages

Spock hired me as a summer marketing intern: $2,500/month salary (with potential for a $1,500 bonus at end of summer).

I was 18 when I started at Spock and had my 19th birthday there. I adored working for Spock — it taught me that being excited about the internet could be a career. And my boss Jay was the first person who really believed in me, and was willing to give me enough rope to hang myself. He told me not to tell people I was 18 because they would underestimate me, that I should tell them I was 27. I told most people I was 27 until I actually was. At the end of the summer I decided to take time off from college and continue working for Spock. They brought me on full-time, at a $75k salary.

I had spent the summer living in Redwood City (where Spock’s office is) and renting a room for $800. After the summer I moved to San Francisco and sublet at different places, paying between $600 for a room and $1000 for a studio apartment.

2008: $28,307 in wages

Most of my friends left Spock, so it seemed like the right thing to do. I emailed SeeqPod because I thought they had the coolest product in all of tech at the time — a web app that streamed music from the internet on the iPhone! (this was before there were 3rd party apps on the iPhone). I told them I was really excited about what they were building and would love to contribute however possible and would come on as an unpaid intern. They interviewed me and I did a take-home project: writing a Product Requirements Document for a Hi5 App (Hi5 was the third largest social network after Myspace and Facebook at the time). SeeqPod hired me as a product manager, I think with a $60k salary. My boss Mike was the second person (in an infinite stream) to believe in me and take a big chance on me.

I didn’t have an iPhone, just a flip phone, but I was so excited about the idea of posting photos on the internet from a mobile phone that I set up a tumblr called https://www.maiaeats.com/ that would post new entries every time I texted it a photo or text. I recorded everything I ate in this way.

I went back to college for my sophomore year in the fall. When I left, the CEO of SeeqPod said “Maia, you are the most diplomatic person I’ve ever had work for me. I watch you in meetings help people take their foot out of their mouths and start espousing your idea as if it was their own”. SeeqPod said they would keep my equity vesting over the school year, and we planned for me to transfer to Berkeley the next year as a college junior, to keep working for them. SeeqPod got sued out of existence though, so I stayed on at Olin.

2009: ~$10k in wages

In summer 2009, one of my former colleagues had been impressed with my work at Spock and wanted me to run marketing at his startup, Archivd. I did, but unfortunately his company went under about a month after I started when his cofounder couldn’t get a work visa.

For the rest of the summer, I picked up a half-time job running social media at a startup called NationalBLS in San Francisco. I got another half-time job doing front-end web development for Sprowtt, in Palo Alto (like Kickstarter + AngelList). I lived in a basement in Oakland and had a terrible commute.

That fall, I lived in Cambridge and got a part-time internship at HubSpot while in college. It was magical to live in Cambridge and work for HubSpot… the best time I had during college. I think they offered me $14/hour and I surprised them by negotiating to $15/hour.

2010: $1,800 in wages

I worked full-time for Hubspot ($15/hour) for the month of January before I went to study abroad in Copenhagen for Spring semester. I stayed in Europe that summer and did not work the rest of the year.

2011: $0 in wages

I graduated college in May 2011, sort of… having spent the spring busy trying to convalesce from a horrible car accident in January 2011, I was behind on my school work and so I walked on stage at the ceremony in May but technically hadn’t graduated yet. My generous professors let me make up the work in summer/fall, and I got my diploma at the end of the Fall 2011 semester.

I sold stock I had bought during college with my income from my year off to pay for my life this year.

2012: $61,988 in wages

Desperate for a job, my friend Richa helped me find a role at the consultancy she worked for in January 2012, where I wrote XSL-T (it’s like CSS, for XML documents). I made $60k salary (less than I had made when I was 19), but I was grateful for the opportunity (and for the health insurance!). They originally offered me $55k, and I negotiated up a smidge.

At the end of the summer, I met Meg who was starting a new company, Rocksbox. She hired me as her first employee, a UX designer. I think Meg asked me “What do people like you make?” and I said “Something like $75k,” and she said “Ok, that seems fine.” My salary was $72k.

2013: $22,416 in wages

Meg invited me to join on as cofounder & CTO of Rocksbox. As a cofounder, I took no salary for much of the year.

I lived in a two bedroom apartment with several other people — my friend Katie and I technically shared a bedroom together with one queen bed and both spent most nights at our respective boyfriend’s apartments. The household hosted people from Airbnb in our dining room and I made an additional $5k on top of my $22k salary to put towards my rent.

I remember being exhausted, flipping Airbnb rooms. My boyfriend asked “This seems really terrible, why do you do it?” I said “…. for the money, obviously.” He said “Oh but you don’t need the money,” and I sat there quietly, thinking, what does it mean for one to need the money?

2014: $66,323 in wages

Meg raised $1.5M for Rocksbox, and I was able to take a higher salary — I think back to $72k!

We still hosted Airbnbs in our dining room from which I made an extra $3,300.

My lawsuit against the guy who hit me with his truck settled for $100k. My lawyer took 1/3 and transferred me $66,000: the most humiliating, exhausting, painful, least worth it money I have ever “earned” in my entire life.

2015: $84,725 in wages

I was making more from Rocksbox — my salary increased from ~$72k at the beginning of 2015 to about ~$150k towards the end of the year.

My roommates and I moved to a big fancy house with a separate bedroom where we could host people on Airbnb. Technically my rent was $2,400/month but with the Airbnb it usually netted out to $1,400. I made $2,400 from Airbnb this year.

2016: $67,769 in wages

I left Rocksbox (and my $150k annual salary) to start Pinch, where we paid ourselves $50k. Rocksbox bought back my unvested equity for $780.

This year, with the separate bedroom on Airbnb, I made another $9,220. In September my roommate and I moved to a different apartment and stopped hosting on Airbnb. My rent was $1,500.

2017: $58,686 in wages

Towards the end of 2017, our $50k salary at Pinch was really starting to hurt. We raised a bit more and upped our salaries to $100k. The money from my car accident dwindled. I moved to my own apartment for the first time, and my rent was $2,000/month.

2018: $121,277 in wages

In summer 2018, we sold Pinch to Chime. My job offer at Chime was for $175k.

Some of our offers for Pinch came with a signing bonus. I wanted to evaluate offers based on the people and the culture, so I told myself I would act as though I had received a signing bonus even if I technically hadn’t. When we joined Chime (no signing bonus), I bought myself a scooter online. It never arrived, and I eventually did a chargeback on my credit card.

2019: $195,834 in wages

My salary at Chime was increased to $200k early in 2019 as a market adjustment, where it remains today. In October 2019 I moved out of my $2,000/month apartment to couch-surf with plans to eventually move to New York.

Conclusion

I was really excited about the idea of writing this post and bringing transparency. The process of writing it out and reliving it all though… it feels bad. I think of myself as a happy person, but when I read this now, I feel for my younger self. I worked and scrambled and stressed out about everything.

I’ve tweeted before that my biggest regret of my 20’s is that I didn’t spend more money. It wasn’t received well by the financial responsibility crowd on twitter, but my guess is that they’ve had a different (and more stable) career history than I have. I do regret that I saved any money in my 20's — I should have spent it all, spent freely on frivolous creature comforts, used money to make my life easier whenever possible and worried less about the future. But of course, hindsight is 20/20.

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

keep calm and let HR handle it [VI/VI]

Rey managed to go a full year without ever directly interacting with her new CEO, but now it seems like he’s dropping by her office every single week.

(Because what else is a love-struck fool to do when he falls for his head of HR other than find reasons to visit her department?)

OR: five times Ben gets summoned down to HR, and one time Rey gets called into the CEO’s office, based on this prompt from @optimisticsprinkles​​​: “Rey as the director of HR at [office] and Kylo/Ben starts finding reasons to be sent down to HR”.

At long last, we get to see Ben's office. (Oh, and also these two get their shit together and get together.)

Chapter 5 Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

To: rey_niima@organafoundation.com From: ben_solo@organafoundation.com Subject: Company picnic

Hi Rey,

I’ve got several updates from the board on our annual picnic idea. Could you come by my office first thing tomorrow morning to discuss?

Best regards, Ben Solo, Chief Executive Officer, The Organa Foundation.

 To: ben_solo@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Company picnic

Hey Ben,

Sure, I’ll see you in the morning. Fingers crossed for good news!

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 Exactly a week after Ben Solo’s birthday, he finds himself critically considering a bouquet on his desk. It’d been an impulse purchase on his way to his meeting with Rey, which had also come about due to his impulsive decision to contact her after a week of radio silence on his end, which had, of course, been caused by his very, very impulsive mistake of calling her sweetheart.

It’s a pretty thing, if you ask him, an explosion of white and yellow blooms that remind him of Rey and the light she’s brought into his life. He’d picked it out with exactly that sentiment in mind, but now that he’s supposed to give it to her in about five minutes, Ben suddenly regrets his questionable decision-making.

Flowers have meanings, don’t they? What the hell had he been thinking, buying her a bouquet based on aesthetics? What if sunflowers mean something bad, something cruel? What if that’s the first thing Rey notices when she walks into his office and it dooms them before they’ve even begun?

He can’t bear the thought of going back to a life without her. He’s spent all week realizing exactly how much he can’t bear it, and now it might just happen anyway because he’s an idiot who’s never bought anyone flowers before and didn’t think before acting and fuck, what is he even going to say to her when he presents her with these possibly rude flowers?

To be safe, Ben pulls his phone out of his pocket and frantically keys in a Google search riddled with typos. But before he can dive into the results for sumflwr meabinh, a single knock rings across his office.

And when he turns around, there she is.

“You kept Leia’s chairs,” is the first thing Rey says to him in a week, giving him a bright smile as she settles into one of said chairs, a pair of emerald velvet tufted wingback chairs his mother had salvaged from the burning wreckage of her childhood home in Alderaan.

Ben had expected her to take them when she retired, had insisted that she do so even, but Leia had simply smiled at him with a faraway look in her eyes as she patted the tall back of one chair, reminiscing about the many days he’d spent curled up in these very chairs as a toddler, a tiny little thing floating in an emerald sea.

He’d stopped protesting after that.

Rey blinks at him expectantly, and he realizes that that’s it, that’s all she has to say for now, she’s not going to confront or lecture or push him about the fact that he’s avoided her for a whole week. It shouldn’t surprise him, really, since that’s one of his favorite things about her: how she always knows when to push him and when to give him space, when to prod and when to be patient.

“I, um, yeah, I did–”

“Oh, what’s this?” she coos with obvious delight as she spots the bouquet on his desk, reaching out to trace the sunflower’s petals with a light touch.

Right.

This is it, then.

Showtime.

Now or never.

For Rey.

Ben takes a deep breath, and makes the unexpected choice to pick up the flowers and settle into the matching chair next to Rey’s rather than his own on the other end of his desk.

Rey watches him with careful yet smiling eyes, and he catches the little puff of laughter that escapes her when he awkwardly thrusts the bouquet into her hands. “They’re for you.”

“They’re beautiful, Ben,” she says, shifting the arrangement to cradle it in one arm. “So is this a congratulations, our picnic idea has been greenlit gift or…?”

The way she lets the question hang in the air, the way she smiles knowingly and expectantly at him, the way one finger is gently, reverently running along each carefully-chosen bloom…

She knows. Of course she knows, his beautiful, perfect, bright Rey; of course she would have pieced it all together long before him, human disaster that he is.

And she’s here. She knows, and she’s here, and she’s smiling, and she’s waiting–

Rey’s done more than enough of that for a lifetime, Ben knows. He won’t, can’t keep her waiting for even one second longer.

“It’s… it’s a these reminded me of you gift, because they’re so bright and sunny and Rey,” he falters on her name as he loses his train of thought, only to find renewed strength in the way she slips her free hand into his and encourages him to go on with a wordless nod. “Rey, I know that’s not always you, I don’t need that to be you all the time, I want you to just be you around me, but… but even at your lowest point, even in your darkest moments… you’re still perfect to me. You’re still the sun to me. You – fuck, this is so corny but you make me want to be corny, you make me feel like maybe I’m capable of that, maybe I can just be the guy who’s corny about this amazing woman who lights up his life, who makes him feel seen and heard and cared for for the first time in years. You make me feel… you make me feel like maybe I do deserve good things in my life, Rey. And you are, without a doubt, the best thing that could ever happen to me, that has ever happened to me.”

He has no idea what he’s just said, no way of knowing if he even makes sense anymore, but if the way Rey is smiling at him while her eyes shine in a telling way is anything to go by–

“I know this is… this is so not HR-sanctioned,” Ben adds, attempting to end on a light note as if that’ll make up for the rest of his desperate, rambling, half-coherent plea. “But I was hoping that maybe…”

He trails off at the sight of Rey moving to place the bouquet on his desk, and holds his breath.

This is either about to go very, very well, or very, very wrong.

She could be getting ready to stand up, walk away, and leave this place – leave him – for good. Or…

Or she could simply be freeing up her hands so that she can reach out for him instead, so that she can rest one hand on his beating heart and curl the other around his neck to pull his lips down to hers.

Ben doesn’t actually realize she’s gone with option B until their lips touch.

It’s like a burst of static, but painless.

It’s like everything he’s ever dreamed of, but better.

It’s like coming home, but to a home you’d long ago given up hope on ever finding.

It’s perfect, in other words, and he doesn’t know why that surprises him given that Rey is involved. She kisses him soft and sweet, winds both arms around his neck to draw him as close as possible and smiles into their kiss until he’s smiling too.

And Ben can’t even complain when she finally pulls away, because then she’s whispering against his lips–

“Have lunch with me today?”

Like an idiot, he ruins the moment by incredulously blurting out the first thing that comes to his dazed mind. “Here?”

Rey just laughs and kisses him again, shakes her head with a smile as she cards a hand through his hair. “Let’s go somewhere, just the two of us.”

It’s hard to think straight with her looking at him like… like he imagines he must be looking at her right now, like he hung the stars and the moon, like this could be the start of the rest of their lives. But somehow, mercifully, his brain gets it together just long enough to realize, with no small amount of hope– “Like a date?”

“Exactly like a date,” Rey says, making all his dreams come true.

Ben is the one to kiss her this time, cradling her face in his hands like the precious gift it is while he tries to tell her with a kiss all the things he can’t say just yet, all the things he knows he’ll tell her soon enough anyway because this is Rey, Rey who makes him feel safe, Rey who makes him feel like a person again, Rey who’s only known him for a few months but already knows him better than anyone else.

Suddenly overcome by a tidal wave of joy, Ben pulls back to give her a smile so wide it hurts. “Is HR okay with this?” he asks teasingly, feeling lighter than he has in a long, long time.

Rey laughs and rolls her eyes at him and tugs him back down into another kiss. “HR,” she murmurs against his lips, “is very, very okay with this.”

. . .

(The rest of HR, as it turns out, is maybe not so okay with their boss going missing for the entire morning, but they quickly get over that when they find out she’s been hard at work practicing employee engagement with the CEO.)

. . .

Sunflowers, in case anyone was wondering, apparently mean adoration, loyalty, and longevity. I'd say Ben got it right.

We made it to the finish line, friends! After a whole year of trying to get this written, only to realize that it was never meant to be just a one-shot and then having to adapt it for a multi-chapter format, and then struggling to get back into the swing of things after a prolonged hiatus... I can't believe we made it. And really, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart: it's all thanks to you guys. You've been so sweet, and supportive, and encouraging, and kind beyond belief. Thank you all so much for every single lovely comment that kept me going. <3

To Beth, thank you for the prompt that started it all. This was an absolute joy to write, and I hope you've had as much fun reading it as I have writing it.

I'll be starting my holiday fic giveaway soon (the first fic goes up on the 3rd), so I'll see you guys around! Until then, thank you so much for reading and please feel free to like/reblog/comment on this fic one last time. It really does mean so much to me.

[jbjsflower]

DAY6 reaction - Their crush being in a relationship

Pairing: DAY6 x Reader

Genre: Kinda angsty & sad

Warnings: None

Requested: Yes~

A/N: Well even tho it was a little angsty and sad I loved writing this and I hope you guys enjoy it as well. Thanks to the lovely anon for the request! Also, I still take requests so go to my profile to leave yours <3

SUNGJIN

"I want to cry for you. I want to hurt instead of you, I don’t want any scars in your heart ever again."

- Hi Y/N, I know you might be very busy these days but I wanted to see you. I have something to tell you and I'd like to do that face to face... Please let me know if you're free later. Sungjin hung up the phone after leaving his voice mail for you, hoping you would listen to it and give him an answer that same day. - Will you see her again?- Jae asked. - I hope so.- he replied. Sungjin and you had been friends for a while and he started liking you some time ago, but couldn't find the courage to tell you about his feelings... until  now. He had finally decided to confess to you. Later that day he received a text from you telling him that you also wanted to see him because you missed being together and also had something to tell him. This made Sungjin smile widely, feeling butterflies in his stomach. You were going to meet at a park that was pretty hidden from the public so that you could forget about people following you or taking pictures. Sungjin arrived early and waited for you to come while sitting on a bench. Soon he saw you entering the park and smiled. - It's been a long time.- he told you. - Yeah, I missed these meetings of ours.- you answered happily. You spent hours talking about everything that happened lately, laughing and joking around. It was pretty late already and you both knew you had to return home soon, so Sungjin thought it was the perfect moment. "It's now or never." - Y/N... I have to tell you something.- Sungjin said. - Oh me too, I almost forgot.- you replied. - Oh okay, you go first. - Okay fine.- you answered.- You know this famous actor, Lee Jongsuk? - Yeah of course.- he said. - Okay well, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before but I wanted to do it face to face... We've been dating for about three months.- you said with a huge smile. - Oh that's...- he started talking.- I'm really happy for you, Y/N.- he continued with a sad smile. - Right? I'm really happy I could finally tell you that. What did you want to tell me? Sungjin took a deep breath. There goes nothing. He knew you wouldn't feel the same but still wanted to tell you how he felt, hoping it wouldn't affect your friendship. - I really like you.- he said. - Sungjin... I...- you answered after a long silence. - I'm not waiting for a response.- he cut you off.- I just don't want to have any regrets in the future.  Return home safely. Then he made his way outside the park while you sat there, watching him leave. He felt the urge to cry, but didn't allow himself to do so. He wanted you to be happy more than anything, so as long as you were, he would feel happy for you. Even if you didn't feel the same, it was okay.

JAE

"It’s the only way to make you happy, so I let go, let go, let go."

- Hyung, stop eating ramen!! Leave some food for us.- Wonpil screamed pouting. - It's not my fault that you guys are slow eating.- Jae replied, with his mouth full of noodles. He started paying attention to his phone instead of listening to the guys' complaints about him eating all the food. He scrolled through his twitter timeline, reading some random tweets. Suddenly, a picture caught his attention. Y/N. He had a crush on you ever since you met. You were an extra in one of their videos, an actress from their company. Back in the day you weren't famous, but you got a few good roles in dramas recently that made you gain popularity. You had never talked much to each other, but your bright personality was enough to capture Jae's heart. He had thought several times about how to spend more time next to you, but was never brave enough to make the first step. Despite his awkward self looking like an extroverted guy, he was actually an awkward introverted boy that tried his best to become more social. He clicked the link to the article about you and started reading. "Dispatch confirms that Y/N is now in a relationship with a famous idol." - What the...- Jae said while reading the article. - What's wrong?- Younghyun asked. - Dude... She's dating Mark?- Jae said, looking at the rest of the members. - Who? Who's dating Mark?- Sungjin asked. - Y/N...- he answered, looking at the article again. - What? Y/N? Your crush?- Younghyun asked, noticeably shocked. - Yeah dude... why didn't he tell me? I thought we were friends.- Jae continued. - Maybe they just started dating...- Dowoon replied. - Are you okay?- Wonpil asked. - Yeah... I'm good.- he answered, standing up and walking towards his room. Jae locked himself for a couple of days, working on his music to stop thinking about you. Of course, it was only a crush, but Jae was a sensitive guy and it truly hurt him to hear those news of you dating one of his friends. After a few days of hard work, a new song was ready to come out on their next album, "Letting go". A song that talked about his feelings of struggle, but ended up with him letting you go in order for you to be happy, even if it was with someone else.

YOUNGHYUN

"I thought you would be forever in me but gotta let go."

- Ah, why is the convenience store so far from the dorms...- Younghyun sighed. He wanted to cook some noodles but they ran out of it, so he made his way to the closest store, about 20 minutes away from the dorms. Even though it was a little far from there, the walk was enjoyable. It was already dark outside and there was a nice breeze that made the hot summer days less annoying. He walked with his headphones on, listening to some music, when he suddenly noticed you sitting on a restaurant. You were sitting on your own, looking at your phone. Younghyun smiled widely. He had liked you for quite a while, but never had the chance to tell you about his feelings. You were both very busy and barely talked to each other lately. He stood there, looking at you like a fool, wondering if he should walk towards you and at least, say hi. His eyes couldn't stop contemplating you from the distance. Suddenly, a guy sat in front of you and you left your phone aside to pay attention to him. - Who's that?- Younghyun said to himself. He noticed how you smiled brightly and laugh during your conversation. After that, he noticed that the guy sitting in front of you was Chan. He never thought Chan would be interested in you, nor that you would accept to go on a date. Since when did you know each other? He couldn't stop asking these question in his head when suddenly, you turned around, facing him. Younghyun couldn't help but hide his face under his cap and hope for the best. A few seconds later, he looked at you again to check if you were still facing him. Seeing you so focused in your date, he continued walking. When he finally arrived at the convenience store, he bought a couple of bottles of soju as well. Then, he decided to take a different route, just in case you were still in that restaurant. He arrived at the dorms and started drinking. For some reason, he couldn't delete that image of you and Chan. Suddenly, a single tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't usually show this side of him, but seeing you with someone else truly made him feel somewhat sad. Of course, he hadn't planned to interfere in your relationship in any way. He still wished you would be happy with whoever you were, but deep in his heart he also wished he had a chance to be with you.

WONPIL

"I would hold you so you won’t be apart from me for even a moment."

His eyes couldn't help but search for you. It had become his worst habit, looking at you and trying to picture how he would confess to you. It usually made him space out way too much and of course the rest of the members noticed, but he didn't care about that. - When will you tell her?- Jae asked. - I'm waiting for the right moment.- he simply answered. - Dude, there's no right moment, just ask her out already! - Look.- Wonpil said, taking his eyes off you for a second to give Jae a very serious look.- She's not just any girl, okay? I can't just go over there and ask her out. - Why not?? - Because!- he said, almost screaming. His voice made the waiting room go silent all of a sudden, making Wonpil hide his face from the rest of the people who looked at him, including you. - I will do it when the moment comes.- he told Jae after everyone went back to their business. - Alright.- Jae said, getting up from his seat and walking outside the room. Wonpil had liked you for a long time, but he didn't quite know how to approach you. You were an idol as well and you had first met each other during one of their comebacks. Back then, you had perform right before them. You had a conversation that barely lasted more than a couple of minutes, but he had fallen for that smile and sweet personality of yours. He also found really cute how nervous you were and tried to help you calm down a little. After that you had never had a real conversation, apart from greeting each other during awards and shows. - Are you performing today?- you asked Wonpil, sitting by his side, right where Jae had been sitting before. - Oh, yeah.- he answered, suddenly blushing when he noticed how close you were from him.- What about you? You nodded with a smile. - We are having our comeback stage today.- you told him. - Oh I see, good luck.- he said. Wonpil's hands were sweaty and shaking, he always lost it when it came to you and wouldn't even be able to form a sentence. A staff member told you to get ready for stage and Jae's words came back to his mind. How much longer could he wait to ask you out? - Y/N...- he said before you could stand up, his voice completely shaking. - Yes?- you asked, looking him in the eyes. - I was wondering... Maybe we could go out together sometime.- he answered after taking a deep breath.- Like... in a date. - A date?- you asked, your eyes opened in surprise.- Actually I'm... I'm already dating someone else. I'm sorry, I... - Oh, no, it's okay.- he replied smiling. - Are you sure?- you asked, worried that you could hurt his feelings. - Yes.- he answered.- May I know who it is? - Park Jimin.- you said. - I see.- he replied with an awkward laugh.- Well... Even if you love someone else I will still feel the same about you, but of course, I just want you to be happy. - Y/N, we have to go.- a staff member said approaching you. - Oh, okay.- you said, getting up to follow her.- I'm sorry, Wonpil. See you. - Sure. Good luck.- he answered with a warm smile. When it came to you, Wonpil only had pure feelings. He could never wish anything bad to happen to you, neither could he give you any cold or harmful words. He could just offer you a kind smile and nice words, even if he felt hurt or sad. He didn't lie though, Wonpil just wanted you to be happy, even if he wasn't part of that happiness. And his feelings were also genuine. - Hey you still here?- Jae asked him.- Come on, we have to get ready. - Okay.- he said following him. - Is everything fine?- he asked. - Yes, everything's fine.- Wonpil answered, following him outside.

DOWOON

"Actually, I’m lonely. I hate that the night sky that has no answer."

- Having lunch on your own again?- you asked, sitting next to Dowoon in the company cafe. - Oh... yeah I was alone at the dorms today and didn't want to cook.- he answered. - Gosh why are you so lazy?- you asked, rolling your eyes. Dowoon and you had been friends for a very long time and you couldn't spend more than a week without texting or going out somewhere. You had a great relationship but somehow it wasn't enough for him. Dowoon had developed romantic feelings for you some time ago, but he was kinda scared that asking you out would ruin your relationship. - Do you want to go to the arcade later? You might be bored if you're alone at the dorms.- you asked. - Sure. I'll pick you up.- he answered. Going back to the dorms, Dowoon thought about his feelings, about how long he had been supressing them, afraid that if he let all out he might lose you. Thinking about that sounded ridiculous. You both had a great relationship, a strong friendship that couldn't be broken because of something like that. Why didn't he just tell you? He arrived at the dorm and decided to take a shower, change his outfit and finally confess his true feelings to you. What could go wrong? The worst that could happen was that you just saw him as a friend, then things would continue as they were before. He chose a nice shirt and jeans, sprayed some perfume on his clothes and got ready to pick you up. Your dorm was near his, which made it easier for you to see each other often. Dowoon was really nervous. He was finally opening his heart and telling you about his feelings and to be honest it felt... great. You both walked your way to the arcade with your hand grabbing his arm. You were always like that with him, it felt comfortable for both. You spend a couple of hours trying different games before you made a pause to get some food. It was your treat this time, so you got up to make the order while he waited for you. While you were waiting on the queue, your phone screen lit up with a new notification. Dowoon didn't usually look, it was none of his business, but his eyes involuntarily looked at it. Once he saw the picture in your lockscreen, his eyes started tearing up. It was a picture of you and Sungjae kissing. You hadn't told him about your relationship, but you had been dating Sungjae secretely for a couple of months already. Dowoon couldn't help but sob while you weren't there. It had taken him a long while to finally make up his mind, and of course, it didn't go as planned. - I got the food.- you said happily. Dowoon cleaned his tears with the back of his hand while you placed the dishes on the table. - Are you okay?- you asked. - Yeah... I'm okay, I think I got a cold or something.- he answered. - We'll go to the pharmacy later.- you said, giving him a fork. - Okay...- he replied, taking it and ignoring what just happened.

[purplesurveys]

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

[darkspellmaster]

Could you explain what's happening? All I know is that Tumblr is getting rid of any explicit content, but shouldn't that be a good thing? Especially with all the annoying bots and such.

Okay so I needed to do some research about this before I wrote this as there’s a lot going on that’s being filtered around and it seems like people are freaking out and that’s not helping. 

1. What’s happening?

So, basically here’s what’s been going down. A few years ago -two or three I think -Yahoo Inc. bought Tumblr from the original creator of it as he couldn’t keep up with the demand. Server space cost had shot through the roof. 

Just to clue everyone up here who are bemoaning about the sale in the first place, just to buy Amazon Web servers (which I think Tumblr ran on and now runs on a different company Srimax or something like that) or AWS, cloud space, it cost (USD) $2010 monthly, that compared to Googles which is roughly $2200 per month. 

So total yearly is roughly $24,000 for AWS, and $26,000 for Google (and that’s on the low end). 

So Yahoo is then bought out by Verizon Telecommunication services, who owns a number of sites right now and is trying to compete with AT&T and it’s services and Comcast, and Google. A

Tumblr, when it was built, was designed as an art place, mostly for artist who were leaving Deviant art at the time due to an influx of (let’s just say) undesirable artists and art work, and for other reasons. Over time Tumblr has become very popular and mixes of people have come here because it’s become mainstream in the media. It’s used in TV shows and the demographics here have become between the ages of 12 to in their 30s. And because it’s become more mainstream this has put a spotlight on it. 

So what the heck happened? Well several things. 

1. There was a case here were a person, or persons, were putting up explicit child porn, and this was rightly reported. However, because of this and the infestation of porn bots and other illicit content, Apple felt that Tumblr was not a good app to have on their store front, so they removed it. 

Apple is determined to “Save the internet”. 

“Steve Jobs famously suggested that “folks who want porn can buy an Android phone,” and Apple has repeatedly leveraged its unprecedented power over millions of smartphones to sanitize the apps that are available on iPhones. Apple does not allow apps “that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic.” In 2016, Apple famously deleted all third-party Reddit apps that allowed users to toggle NSFW posts on and off; even now, it is impossible to access porn on an iOS Reddit app unless you jump through various hoops.”  - Vice.com

This should come as no surprise to anyone that is over the age of 30 at this point as Apple has been notorious about this for years, even during the early time of the Mac computers. 

I should note that Android did not, nor has Google Play as Tumblr has followed all of it’s guidelines.  But, internationally, Apple is still a big name and is a highly sought after device, especially in China, and most Telecommunication companies want to invest in there because the economy is good and they can make money in sales to people in China. But because of an extremely strict policy about anything related to porn and the like, Verizon couldn’t sell Apple phones with Tumblr linked into it due to the nature of the space, along with Apple’s very strict policies. 

(There is in fact a lawsuit going on right now in regard to Apple’s bans on apps.)

As seen here. https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/zmd38y/supreme-court-weighs-whether-apples-app-store-is-a-monopoly ) 

So because of this Tumblr felt it needed to do something and that something was to unleash an algorithm that, unfortunately, seems to have taken on a life of it’s own. My guess, and I can only hazard a guess here is that the algorithms are taking meta key words that could be associated with sex or porn or child porn and searching these things out to flag. So like animals that are connected with the fur community will be hit, people with Chronic pain may become hit because the CP in the tag could be related to Child Porn and thus the algorithm is hitting that. Color words, association with women and men, kinks and other things that these bots tend to use are probably also in there, which means that things as simple as chicken thighs, or chicken breasts, are being hit and flagged. That’s not to say that some of this may not be connected to the issue of trolls coming in and reporting things making the Algorithm even more buggy. 

See an algorithm works like this: 

So what is going on here. A question is asked, in this case let’s say it’s a key word, “Does this site have the tag Bookworm in it’s tags or in it’s content?” So the program then goes and analyzes a blog, and looks for that word in the tags. If the answer is yes, then that blog is then “flagged” for having that term and can be reviewed, and the algorithm can go to the next blog to look. 

If the answer is no, then the program goes to the next word in it’s list and looks again, and if the answer is yes, it can then flag and move on, etc. This is how this is working. On top of that, you again may have people flat out using this to attack others and flagging and reporting, adding to the confusion of the program. 

2. Second aspect is a bit more complicated, as it’s not just affecting Tumblr but a number of sites as well. Two bills that were signed into law here in the US and other similar bills are going around the globe.  These two bills, while of the right mind to stop sex trafficking and should be lauded for that idea (because it’s something we as a world need to really address as a whole), both cause a huge problem to platforms. 

So you have the “Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act" Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act" (FOSTA)Stop Enabling Online Sex Trafficking Act, or SEOSTA, or Stop Enabling Sex Trafficking Act, or SESTA.  This act is both good and bad. The good part is that it “clarify the country’s sex trafficking law to make it illegal to knowingly assist, facilitate, or support sex trafficking,”  which means it makes it clear why sex trafficking is illegal and will allow more laws to be created to stop it from happening and helping out victims to go after those that harmed them. 

The bad though is the follow up, “and amend the Section 230 safe harbors of the Communications Decency Act (which make online services immune from civil liability for the actions of their users) to exclude enforcement of federal or state sex trafficking laws from its immunity.” 

So the Section 230 safe harbors allowed for platforms, like Reddit, Tumblr, AOL messenger, etc, to not be liable for these situations. However this act changes that and makes it where the owners of the platform are going to have to be the ones that are liable. Meaning that site’s like tumblr can be taken to court over what their users put up, even if they don’t know what’s going on. 

3. And this is on the smaller end of things. There apparently is a lot of piracy going on in the porn industry right now. As with the cases of theft here on Tumblr in regard to Pivix and other sites, people are not happy. While the industry is smaller than mass media studios like Sony, Disney, WB, NBC, etc. they are not happy with the grand theft of their copyrighted material, and yes it is copyrighted even if it is nude video and the like. These companies are considering possibly getting into legal matters with Social media sites (like Tumblr and Twitter) over the thefts and reblogging issue of copyrighted material. Unlike Youtube, where you can just take it down, Tumblr is build on the idea of sharing so there’s that to contend with. 

Because of these things Tumblr has decided to create a very strong and yet vague policy that seems to be hurting people that are original content creators rather then the perpetrators that are causing the harm on this site. The thing is that in order for Verizon to push this as a mainstream social media site, they have to create a cleaner image. 

The reason for that is the same reason why you had the advertising issues on Youtube. Straight up, when things become popular and more mainstream (and Tumblr has become main stream my friends make no mistake of that, as it’s shown up in a lot of different media including ones for teens and tweens) then sites tend to have to spend more money on server space and that means ads and more people coming in to see said ads. And the more popular and mainstream a site get’s the more the site tends to want to become more all ages over a limited age group, as that means you can have more users on the platform and thus generate more advertisements. 

See Facebook, instagram, snap chat, etc. All platforms that have some age restrictions, but also are designed so Little Billy and June can be on there along with Grandma and their teen brother Tommy, and mom and dad, etc. 

All I know is that Tumblr is getting rid of any explicit content, but shouldn’t that be a good thing?

Okay to explain this. On the one hand certain explicit content needs to go, including things like cannibalism, extreme gore, etc. Because a lot of that shit is disturbing as hell. But on the other hand you have consenting adults that do have a right to look at art and pictures that are not safe for work. 

The problem really comes down to a few things. First are the people in the video doing this of their own volition, and if not, then we’re looking at something that needs to be taken down as it would be seen as possibly blackmail porn and gather illegally. Secondly Users need to learn to actually check what they reblog and look into where the material is coming from. Just because a gif looks cool doesn’t mean that the people involved in that act are okay with it being put on the net. 

It’s a good thing in a way because this means that people that have been stealing art and video from others that make money off this sort of art work and photograph, can at least now known that it’s gone off of one site, though many more still will put it up. 

The problem is that people that do their own work and sell it on here are being kicked off and that means that they may have to go to more shady sites where people who are not as nice tend to hang out, which could mean some serious risks for them. 

While I’m not for this whole thing. I do see both sides of the issue. Personally I don’t want to have to see video of someone jerking off if I’m not searching for it, and it suddenly showing up in the notes section. On the other hand if this is a way for someone who needs the money to create content that allows them to live and afford to have food, housing and other things that keep them healthy and safe, then that should be their right to do. 

My feeling is that all artwork and the like should be behind a pay wall. And I know I’m gong to be yelled at for that, but hear me out. Artist need money to live, Sites need money to keep servers up and running. In order to keep kids and those that don’t want to see this sort of content from seeing it, honestly one of the most effective ways I can think of, is to create a pay system and create Sub area where you can have groups, and then include some sort of state or country id so that only adults can go into the adult oriented area. 

It’s a good thing to be getting rid of the bots, and possibly cleaning up the issue of illegal porn and other things that could hurt not only the companies image, but also could lead to the victimization of those that are not doing this willingly. But it’s a bad thing for people who tend to make their living with art that isn’t safe to view in public. 

As I said the best thing to do would be to create a pay system for those that want to view it, and have it free to everyone else. If you really want to see stuff, and help support the site and creators, then maybe it’s time to start paying and be willing to show you’re an adult. 

Especially with all the annoying bots and such.

This is the sad thing. The bots will follow wherever people go. Pillowfort will get hit at some point too by these things because they will come and bother people. The reality is that there really is no way to escape them until there are regulations set in place that can be put out all over the world that stop sites like the bots and protect people that are trying to make money via their skills as an artist. 

Thing is that in this day and age because people have grown up with the idea that “Everything on the net must be Free!” there’s this desire to fight against actually paying for services and we’re already seeing the down fall of that. I’m pointing to the recent outrage of people bemoaning that Ao3 asked for money to keep their servers up and running. 

Personally I have mixed feelings about all of this. While I’m against censorship, I also feel that there needs to be a way for people who don’t want to see certain forms of art or the like to have that option as well. You have to strike a balance so that you can have a good community of people, and if it means either paying money or creating a second site for those that want to view this art, well then that’s what it should be. 

Thing is, as Matpat said in his article 13 video, when things like this start up companies tend to pick to go after the smaller user base and use them as the main cause for change, because then it covers everything even the larger base. And I think a part of this may have to do with that upcoming issue. 

We live in a global world now, and we can’t just think about one culture or the other anymore as separate things. Companies are seeing things as whole rather than singling things out, and thus the net users need to start thinking the same way. 

Hope this all makes sense. there’s a lot more going on, but I’m trying to keep it easy to read.