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doctorbunny · 3 years ago

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MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

#haruka sakurai #milgram #milgram theory #001 #text post #essay #long post

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 5 years ago

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I See You: Part Eight

A/N: YOU GUYS. I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK A LITERAL LIFETIME. I had a lot of things to figure out (and so did you and Billy, TBH.) but consider those things figured. And consider this story back on track. #BACK TO THE BENCH!

Warnings: language, discussion of violence, war...and other things ;) (those things are going to continue in part 9 *more winks*)

Word Count: 3,767

“What about you, Bill? You got plans? For when we get back. You gonna take any of those girls out and maybe pick a winner?” Frank slapped the concert tickets that Maria had just sent him against his palm as his scarred, hardened features rearranged themselves into a teasing grin. He’d just gotten done professing how much he loved his wife, and as always, that would cause the topic to change to Billy and his lack of one. “Got plenty of options, Russo, and you’re not always gonna be that pretty. You better nail one down ‘fore you lose your looks.”

You a mind reader now, Frankie? Billy had been lying on his cot trying to read the book you’d sent him, but he hadn’t gotten very far. The words were morphing and swirling on the page and he’d ended up reading the same sentence three times before giving up and resting the open book against his abdomen. The grin on his face as he looked over at Frank was put there entirely by what he was thinking about in lieu of reading comprehension: you. “Yeah, Frankie, I got some plans.”

Those plans included getting on a bus, with all his gear right from Port Authority, taking that bus up to Boston, climbing the three flights of stairs in your red brick building, knocking on 3C and kissing you like he should have done before leaving for this current tour. He planned to take your face between his hands and look into your eyes and tell you what he’d realized when he’d last spoken to you- that he loved you and he needed you to know that. For the first time in Billy Russo’s life, he was making plans to include a woman in his future, and not just any woman; not just one of those girls Frank was talking about, the flock of floozies he kept on rotation, but someone who had become an important part of his life- a part of his life that he realized he wanted more of, and more importantly, a part of his life that seemed to want him, too.

I could call her, tell her. He imagined the surprised exhale, the quick intake of a new breath before the shaky “what?” and the little sniff that told him that you were about to cry, but trying not to. Closing his eyes, he could almost see you standing stock still in your kitchen with a beer halfway to your lips, suspended in shock. He imagined what it would be like to hear you say those words back to him, maybe with his name attached. “I love you, Billy.” Something he’d never heard, not once. Something he didn’t realize he needed so badly, but now that the thought of it existed, he knew he couldn’t get by without it. Shit. He felt the stupid smile on his face spread as Frank gave a hearty laugh.

“Just sayin’, quality over quantity, Bill, ya know?”

Yeah. I know. That fucking grin was still growing, making his cheeks sore as he thought about telling you in person; about telling you that he loved you, and in the same breath, kissing you with more purpose, more intention, more meaning than he’d ever put into a kiss before. He’d thought about that imagined kiss more than he’d like to admit, thought about how he’d drop his bags on your doorstep and fill his hands with you instead, how one would curve around the back of your skull, the other pressing you closer, as close as he could get you. He thought about what it might feel like for you to kiss him back, about your hands clutching the rough material of his uniform, fingers sliding over the embroidered letters of his name. He thought about giving you that name, eventually, offering it, and himself...offering you everything. The part where he’d pick you up, take you completely into his arms and carry you inside was always his favorite thing to think about, because in that part, you’d be smiling against his lips and his bags would have been forgotten in the hallway. He’d imagined spending the rest of the night making sure you knew what you meant to him, imagined using as few words as possible to say as much as he possibly could.

Frank’s gruff laughter broke through his fantasy. “Bill the Beaut, huh?”

Billy had been contemplating telling Frank about you, about how he felt about you. Frank knew that he had kept in touch with you, and that had always made him slightly suspicious of your “friendship”; he knew Billy didn’t stay friends with women that he wasn’t sleeping with, but after a year, then two, and now a little more than three had gone by, Frank seemed to accept the friend title. He’s gonna flip when he finds out he’s been right all along. “Actually, Frankie, I been meanin’ to tell ya-”

“Castle. Russo. Briefing, five minutes.” The commander’s voice cut Billy’s sentence short, he and Frank responding in “yes sir”’s.

“Tell me after the brief, Bill.” Frank smirked at him, giving him a smack on the arm before carefully stowing Maria’s gift in his bag and readying himself for what they both hoped would be one of their final briefings. They had just a few days shy of a month to go, and Billy knew that Frank started getting nervous the closer it got to the end of the tour- nervous that with such a short time left, something could happen that would keep him from going home to his family. It never made Billy nervous- he felt the same amount of risk on day one as he felt on day one hundred and ninety seven, or two hundred and three, or three hundred and two. But now that he had this thought, this idea, this need to tell you how he felt...now that he wanted to get back to you...get home to you, to see if you felt the way he hoped you did, he started to understand why Frank got that way. Twenty- nine days, he told himself. What could happen in twenty- nine days that hasn’t happened already?

The comfort of his old way of thinking lasted only until after the briefing had concluded. He and Frank hadn’t resumed their conversation. He hadn’t gotten to share his plans with his brother. Instead, the two of them spent the next hour in silence, both fuming over the ambush that they knew they were about to lead their men into without a choice. This is fucked. Billy thought about the offer he’d been given, to transfer to a different unit, run different kinds of missions. He thought about doing whatever he had to to get back, to get to you and tell you what he’d already waited too long to say. This is it. This is the last time...This one, and I’m done. Gonna ask Frank, too. Sure he’ll say yes, he knows this is fucked. Just gotta get through this one. Gotta get back to her.

But he’d been wrong about everything. About that being his last questionable mission. About Frank agreeing to take the transfer. About getting back to you.

After that particular mission, after Billy had stopped Frank from killing Rawlins, after that shithead’s eye socket had a chance to stop bleeding, Billy had gone to him. He’d tried to tell him that the deal was off, that he wasn’t going to take the offer anymore- that he simply wasn’t going to re-enlist.

The one eyed bastard had actually laughed then. “Doesn’t quite work like that, Russo,” he’d said from behind his bandages. “See, you know too much now, you’ve seen too much...I’ve offered you too much.” He clicked his tongue. “That start up money? That clean slate? None of this shit on your record? Can’t have you talking about any of that. See, Russo, I own you now. That’s how this works.There’s no changing your mind. No backtracking from our little agreement.” He laughed again. “You wanted out? You should have let that filthy dog Castle kill me. You’re mine now. You do what I tell you, when I tell you, or I’ll have you locked up for war crimes faster than you can fucking blink. Do you copy, soldier?”

From that moment on, Billy knew he had to part with you. He knew he couldn’t belong to a man like Rawlins and give himself to a woman like you. He knew he’d made too many mistakes at this point- he hadn’t told you soon enough, he hadn’t thought this deal through, he hadn’t consulted Frank on either topic… I did this. I fucked this all up… and now I’m gonna lose everything.

When he’d finally gotten back to the states, he’d distanced himself from Frank. He’d lied to you. He’d thrown himself entirely into the planning and building of ANVIL, telling himself that he had to make something worth losing everything over. You’d told him years ago that you believed in him, and he’d be damned if he failed you twice. For a while, he was even relatively free from Rawlins’ grasp, and things were at least manageable. But for as much as he’d told himself that he’d given up on you, on the thought that he’d ever get to have you in his life again- on the thought that he’d ever be worth you again- he never erased the ghost, the memory of the kiss that never happened.

But he also never thought he’d see you again, and here you were. He’d just told you that he loved you, with your hand in his. He still had impossible things to tell you, like how things had ended with Frank, and the plan for revenge that he’d been hatching until he’d heard your voice say his name on the bus that morning. But it was also impossible that he’d ever get this chance again.

“I...I loved you, too. I love you...I always will.” He gave your hand a squeeze, and watched as that little gasp he’d thought about left your lips, and the tears you’d been holding back started rolling down your cheek. He felt his heart flip when you returned the squeeze, and it was the first thing that wasn’t hardened hatred that had echoed in his chest in far too long. “I...I was gonna come home to you...I wanted…” Now that he’d started talking, he couldn’t seem to stop, even though he wasn’t sure if he should. “I wanted to…” he licked his lips, voice suddenly going raspy and thin. Fuck. He hung his head and blew out a breath, but he snapped back up as he felt your other hand grasping his knee.

“What did you want, Billy?” The way that the streetlight was shining on you made you look as surreal as his daydreams had been, and the glow of your skin against the night drew him closer.

“This,” he answered, heart pounding wildly out of control as he threw caution to the wind and covered your hand on his knee with his free one, holding both of your hands now as he brought his lips to yours. “I want this. You.” He whispered, just before making contact.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

Two weeks had passed since you’d last heard from Billy. Then another two after you received his package. You waited two more before calling, remembering how he sounded, what he’d said about how things had been on this last deployment. I’ll give him some time to adjust, you’d reasoned, though he’d never really needed time before. You’d run out of excuses to assuage your anxiety- Maybe he’s been busy celebrating with Frank and the guys, or maybe he’s been celebrating with Ashley, or maybe he broke his phone and he’s waiting for a replacement. Eventually your thoughts began to shift. Maybe he’s hurt. Maybe something happened. Maybe he… You’d never finish that thought, though you felt it in your heart and it tore through you in ways that you couldn’t name. To think about Billy losing his life was unfathomable, so you tried your absolute best to never fathom it. You’d finally dialed his number just for it to go directly to voicemail, trying again every day for a week, each time holding that embroidered name tape, running your fingers over the stitching and feeling the frayed edges of the coarse fabric. Why did you give this to me Billy? Why are you trying to disappear?

The next few months had been hard to handle, and your thoughts drifted in Billy’s direction- wherever he was- often. More often than you wanted to admit, even to yourself. He’s gone, you tried to tell yourself, as though those two words were as simple as they looked on paper. But no matter how many times you tried to tell yourself to move on like he clearly had, you continued to run your fingers over that black thread, as black as his eyes. You used it as a bookmark, a luck charm, you tucked it inside your pillowcase and read the letters with the tips of your fingers in the dark. You’d never say this out loud, but you’d secretly hoped that you’d take his name one day. But this was never what you meant, and at least once a month you cried yourself to sleep, wishing that you’d told him that you loved him the last time that you’d spoken to him. Maybe it would have mattered...

You’d had to snap out of it sooner rather than later, though, as you were getting ready to ship out yourself. You couldn’t let the phantom love that you never got to share with Billy cloud your judgement. It wasn’t safe to bring him with you- to bring all that emotion, that deep heartache, that illogical hope that he might one day drop back into your life. That strip of fabric though, that you’d brought with you everywhere. You had it on you in the airport when you’d seen him on the news while you waited for your flight. You had it with you when you stepped on board your carrier. It was tucked in your pocket on the day of your accident, and you had it with you every day of your recovery. You’d ended up taking him with you everywhere, ended up missing him every day, ended up being unable to completely bury the hope that pulsed with each beat of your heart.

That hope banged against your ribs as his fingers wrapped around your palms and tightened. The hard metal bench melted away as you felt him move closer, as you felt his breath on your cheek in the form of his whispered admission. As his lips covered yours, your eyes fell shut and you felt the lids fluttering and creasing with the emotion you felt from him. It spread across your soft, pink lips and throughout your entire body, tingling like magic, changing everything about you, about him, the way a wildfire changes the landscape. You whimpered as your mouth moved in tandem with his, as though this kiss had been well practiced, as though you’d been kissing Billy Russo for years. In a way, you had been, both of you dreaming of this moment and neither knowing. He moved both of your hands into one of his, raising his free one to curve around the back of your head, fingers spreading into your hair, and you couldn’t contain the whimper that slipped from your lungs at the sensation of being touched by him. Your thoughts were as scattered as stars in the sky, but you knew you wanted more, wanted to open the kiss and pour your whole being into it. Wanted to touch him, to hold him, make sure that he couldn’t possibly mistake how much you loved him, how much you wanted and needed him. Him and only him.

You tried to free your hands from his strong grip, needing to pull him closer, to give him what he was giving you. But instead of releasing his grip, instead of using both of his hands to keep you in that kiss, he tightened his hold and pulled away, ending the kiss as unexpectedly as it had begun. You heard him swallow, felt the shuddering exhale of his breath on your lips, heard the rustling of his sleeve as he let his hand drop back into his lap, the other still clutching yours tightly. “Billy,” you gasped his name, feeling yourself fall forward, involuntarily chasing that kiss. Your fingers twitched inside his fist, wordlessly speaking your intention. Your own breathing was just as uneven as his was, as though ending the kiss meant removing the oxygen from the air. “Billy, I…” you shook your head, lips still parted, still tingling with the absence of his.

You felt him stiffen, loosening his grip if only slightly. “I’m sorry, I-”

“No. No, Billy, don’t apologize. I want this, too. I…” you gulped down a breath and tried to swallow the thick lump that had formed in your windpipe. “Billy, I ‘ve wanted this...you...for years, I…” You felt the hurt that he’d heaped upon you dissipate into the background, felt all of the things that he’d told you so far vanish into the night. He thinks he’ll scare me away… “Please...let me…” your chest shook with your breathing, your voice creaking on the please.

“I’m...it’s…” he sighed your name and you felt yourself lean even closer, pulled to him on the invisible string that spun you both together starting with that kiss. “You won’t recognize me. I’m not...not the man I was.”

“I don’t care, Billy.” You shook your head more fervently. “I thought you were gone. I thought I’d lost you...that I’d never get you back.” That lump in your throat fell hard and heavily into your stomach as that lost feeling settled in your chest, and images of Billy- your Billy, smiling in the photos he used to send you- with his coal black eyes closed forever, cut through your mind. “I thought you died, Billy.” When your voice came back it was barely a whisper, and each word fought to be free of your lips. “And it ruined me. But now you’re here. You’re here, and… and I know, okay? I know that you have more to tell me. I know, Billy. But it was never about anything but you for me. It wasn’t about what you could give me. It wasn’t about how you looked or...or what your status was or…Billy, I love you. Please… let me…” Let me touch you. Let me see you, feel you and know that you’re here with me. Let me show you that nothing matters to me.

He took a breath and you felt him open his hand enough for you to pull yours free. “My face…” you could tell that he was looking down and away by the sound of his voice, and you kept your hands on his knee, showing him that nothing he could say would change your mind. “Everything I did...all the...everything...you’re gonna see every goddamn mistake I made.” He sniffed and you felt your heart ache. “All the things I did...the people I betrayed…”

“I don’t care,” you said again, this time a little softer. “You’re here. You’re...you’re alive, Billy. That’s what I care about. I love you. Please, let me show you what that means.”

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

His thoughts raced louder and quicker than they had during the kiss. Each scar on his face burned with regret, the skin between them on fire as he waited for your fingers to flee in disgust and take you with them. But he couldn’t stop this forever, and he couldn’t deny your request. Guess this is it, he thought, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and lifting your hand from his lap. He held his breath after laying a gentle kiss to the middle of your palm that made you release the breath that you’d been holding. “I deserve every one of these, for what I did to you,” he said, slipping his thumb up into the cup of your palm, in the exact spot he’d just kissed it. Before he could change his mind, and before you could say something to counter what he’d just said, he placed your palm against his cheek.

Eyes on your face, he watched as your mouth fell open and your eyebrows wrinkled. Your fingers found the edges of the gunshot wound, and the burning he felt was immediately soothed.“Billy,” He’d never heard his name sound the way it just had as your fingertips traced upwards towards the jagged line that curved around his eye socket. He exhaled and quickly took a fresh breath, as though trying to be as different, as new in this moment as possible. “Billy,” you said his name again as your other hand moved to take his face between them both. You traced the new topography of his face, putting out the fires that burned where each stitch had put him back together, spending just as much time learning the smooth portions as the rippled scars. “I don’t care about these scars,” you shook your head slowly. “I don’t. I care about you,” you let your fingers slide down the sides of his face and over the coarse hair that covered his chin and jaw, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away. Your right hand slipped around his neck, your left coming back until your thumb brushed the top of the scar beneath his eye. “I love you, Billy Russo,” you said it with all the intention, all the truth, all the power that he allowed himself to imagine in his dreams as you brought your lips back to his and kissed him again, deeper this time, more; kissed him full of love, kissed him like your life depended on it even more than his did. He responded by pressing his forehead to yours and gripping both of your wrists, keeping your hands on him even after you broke away for air, in utter disbelief that he had tried to stop you, completely and entirely there in the moment with you- allowing you, finally, to love him completely and entirely. “No matter what, Billy,” you promised him, turning to kiss the crest of his cheek. “I love you no matter what.”

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

@something-tofightfor @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @agent-bossypants @zaffrenotes @songforhema @thesumofmychoices @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @lysawayne @roses-in-your-country-house @ymariejp @belladonnarey @audreychaz @songtoyou @stories-you-wont-hear @traeumerinwitzhelden

please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed! (because my taglists are a disaster, so if i added you or left you off, it was not intentional!)

#i see you #ISY #isy part eight #ISY 8 #billy russo #billy russo x reader fic #billy russo x you #billy russo x you imagine #billy russo x you story #billy russo x reader imagine #shit is getting really real you guys #point of no return #things have been said!#things have been done!#we're in it now!#the punisher fanfiction #the punisher alternate ending

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rainymeadows · 5 years ago

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I rewatched Eternal Diva and this time I took notes as I went through

Dive under the cut if you dare to experience my mad in-the-moment ramblings (warning for spoilers for pretty much the entire prequel trilogy)

- Don Paolo’s voice sounds like what Papyrus’s voice probably should

- Winter Layton is precious in that giant coat

- Janice is so pretty omg an angel

- Layton geeking out over the Detrogan is goddamn adorable

- I love how everything is greyed out in Janice’s flashback

- Suuuuuuuuper subtle indication that maybe “Janice” seeing how young this little girl was is what prompted her to find a way to put an end to this whole thing

- Whether it’s a moped or the Laytonmobile, Emmy drives like crazy XD

- Bitch you ain’t on Top Gear

- God her big sister relationship with Luke is adorable tho

- Aaaaaaaaaaaah Layton smiling at their banter dad’s so happy for his son

- They did such a good job reusing the game’s music for this movie

- The opera house looks so cool but so precarious – my first thought upon seeing it was “when is this thing going to sink”

- I MEAN IT’S ON A CLIFF

- Janice’s voice is so pretty TToTT

- I like that they kept the Japanese vocals for her singing

- SONG OF THE SEA-SHADOWING

- I hate that Layton and Luke were the ONLY people to honestly applaud the performance. Everyone else is a DICK

- First time I saw this dude, I thought “that’s a puppet, no ordinary person moves like that even in animation”

- Once again, Layton putting a polite and gentlemanly spin on “fucked if I know, my dude”

- Lol I love that even the people who didn’t applaud and thus apparently knew what they were in for weren’t down for dying

- Fuking cowards

- Layton is always DTF (down to fight)

- GROSKY OF THE YARD

- FUCK YES

- This dude’s manliness is infectious

- “Gee, I wonder who’s behind this-“ *Descole’s theme starts playing* “-oh well never mind”

- Honestly who else but Descole would be this fucking extra tho

- Gotta admit I love the twist of the opera house being a ship, I was totally expecting it to just go plunging into the ocean at a moment’s notice

- Aaaaah the CG in this movie is really well done

- Layton’s angry face is kinda ridiculous but I love it

- I love that it’s pointed out like “where tf did all these sharks come from”

- I prefer Cartoon Saloon’s Song of the Sea, but this one’s pretty too

- Lol as if a MAN-EATING SHARK could keep down GROSKY OF THE YARD

- I’m surprised he can see over the top of his chest hair

- God, the detrogan is such a cool instrument and I really wish something like it existed irl

- Ah, it’s only like fifteen sharks, Grosky will be fine

- I love the air of mystery surrounding Oswald Whistler

- Layton’s hat is made of 100% pure uncut husband material

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE HOW PUZZLES ARE USED IN THIS MOVIE IT’S SO GOOOOOOOD

- I’m so glad they didn’t scrap it entirely coz I mean they’re so integral not only to the Layton games, but Layton himself

- This music box tune kinda gives me Gravity Falls vibes tbh

- I think the backing melody sounds pretty identical to the tune’s intro

- I love that this movie actually lets us see inside Layton’s head and his thought process, it’s so much better than just having him put everything together seemingly offscreen

- Tbh any puzzle where “the night sky” is the solution is bound to be a good puzzle

- I just fucking love the implied MASSACRES in this movie

- God Luke is so goddamn precious

- Pffft pumpkin dude is so subtly duplicitous

- Okay I have ot pause for a bit to rant about layton’s design because it’s SO GOOD. Warm colours make him seem welcoming and kinda comfy and the simple facial features, while a bit Ditto-esque, do combine nicely with his overall shape to scream “friend”. Professor Layton is friend shaped. And of course there’s the popped collar to show that he’s cool, the high collared shirt gives a scholarly vibe, his shoes which I stg are plimsolls show a practical side and of course the quintessential top hat shows that he’s a Gentleman first and foremost. Add the amazing voice to that and BOI I DIE

- Although I can’t help imagining that gif with the teddy bear slapping eyebrows onto its face to look angry whenever he gets mad

- Luke is not friend shaped. Luke is son shaped.

- Precious bab shaped

- Wpw a sea captain I would never have guessed other than the “sailor” accent and the fact that you’re wearing a sailor’s uniform

- Ugh I love these quiet moments where things can sink in and characters can just talk to each other, I really wish more movieswould do this

- I love that even if you don’t have a literal look at his thought processes, you can still see Layton THINKINg

- Agh Amelia is SO CUTe this series is so good at designing beautiful women and cute girls while also making them look DISTINCT

- I like that they hinted at her intelligence by having her solve the puzzles by herself

- One advantage a film has over the games is that the visual novel format kinda limits the dialogue, coz it’s hard to convey one charafter talking over another

- I really like the side characters. They’re simple, yes, but they don’t really need to be complex

- I will admit that the limits of Layton’s simple facial features means it can be hard to tell who/what he’s looking at sometimes…

- “that man” asked me to write an opera, huh

- WHY DOES NOBODY ASK WHO

- Fuck descole’s theme is SO GOOD

- WHERE DOES HE GET THE FUNDING FOR ALL OF THIS THOUGH

- And Grosky boards the ship just in time for it to blow up XD I love this dude

- I can only imagine his gigantic pecs act as a flotation device

- Layton preventing Luke from looking at the exploding ship THIS MAN IS SUCH A DAD HE’S SO GOOD

- I love this scene with Emmy investigating because these parent’s appearances are just enough to make it ambiguous whether they’re Nina or Amelia’s parents

- Seeing them all wrapped up in blankets is kinda cute tbh

- LET. THEM. SLEEP.

- I wonder what Layton uses to keep his hat on?

- Lol Emmy pushing a fossil aside to look at the map

- I can only assume, given that they set off from the White Cliffs of Dover, that this island is SOMEWHERE off the coast of mainland Europe in about the same region as Spain

- Ugh I LOVE Emmy’s uppercrust accent, the fact that she sounds like such a refined lady is such a fun contrast to her literal arse-kicking

- Also this is totally BBC news lol

- I love the detail of the historian’s scrapbook being kinda hodgepodge with bits falling out

- And I love the Ambrosia Seal being super detailed but the subtle incorporation of a sheet music design

- Gotta admit I totally thought this little banquet was poisoned on my first watch

- Lol I love that pumpkin guy just KEEPS POURING THE WINE

- Ugh that beach looks SO PRETTY, I want to go there

- Janice is totally crushing on Layton, pass it on

- D’awwwwww luke trying to befriend ‘melina’ is SO CUTE this boy must be protected at all costs

- Layton how did you hear what she was humming from all the way over there

- Why do so many anime characters have inexplicable super senses

- Those wolves’ eyeliner is on point lol

- “I’m not built for running” lol mood

- FUCKING HELL DESCOLE WHO IS FUNDING ALL YOUR SHIT

- HOW MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME DO YOU FUCKING HAVE

- Admittedly on my first watch I wasn’t as familiar with descole’s theme, but I saw that castle and I just thought “it’s descole, only he can be that extra”

- The twist of using the cages for personal protection rather than to trap the walls is simple, but so clever

- I love that Mr Whistler was one of those accidentally trapped outside. Keeps suspicion off

- And I love Layton saying “well that solved PART of our problem”

- YOU SHUT UP LADY THE PROFESSOR IS AMAZING

- And then he trips and falls lol that’s what you get for wearing old man shoes

- “Even a good gentleman needs to get some exercise!” pfft

- Oh hey, they found the starter house that Descole was using while he was building that castle. I wonder what texture pack he’s using?

- And here Layton puts MacGuyver to shame in the most Ghibli way possible

- I’d love to see someone try to build this thing XD someone call the Mythbusters

- Bjut I adore how even LAYTON isn’t sure how this fucking thing works

- Fucking NERD

- Yeah, these filmmakers were TOTALLY influenced by Ghibli

- This is so Castle In The Sky, it hurts

- “Hang on tight! NOT TO THE PILOT!” – best line in the movie

- You can’t escape it, Layton. You is a dad

- DID YOU GUYS NOT SEE LAYTON LAPUTA-ING HIS WAY IN

- It’s great how all those puzzles seem like they could be ripped straight out of the Layton games, complete with outside-the-box bizarre thinking required to solve em

- I’m so proud of Luke for solving it!!!!! Such a good boy

- RUDE

- Yeah, just stand in the middle of the suspiciously empty room, I’m sure nothing will go wrong

- That’s what you get for shoving Layton aside, bitches

- Lol I guess luke could just step through the bars if his head was a bit smaller

- DESCOLE HOLY FUCK YOU ARE THE KING OF EXTRA

- “humble scientist” GOOD GRIEF WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT YOU DRAMA QUEEN

- I love that Emmy can FLY A PLANE

- Holy shit grosky there are better ways to signal for help

- And LESS GROSS WAYS TO DRY YOURSELF OFF IN A PLANE

- Yeah, see, you lost your knickers

- Ugh, god. I adore this scene with Layton in Melina’s room. It’s so quiet, the soft evening lighting… aaaaaaaaaaah so peaceful, but you can still feel the tension in the air, especially after Melina comes in

- Oh my god, Layton plays like an angel *swoon*

- The lack of background music in this scene is what makes it so perfect, the tension is so REAL

- Lol I love the historian just standing there like ‘welp there they go’

- NOOOOOOOOO LUKE DON’T CRY

- BIG SIS IS HERE

- Oh fuck yes

- EMMY I LOVE YOU

- God she and grosky are so fantastic XD

- WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE THAT EMMY

- Somehow emmy gives me Michelle of the Resistance vibes

- God, I kinda love it when you can tell Layton’s already put it all together and is just biding his time

- AAAAAAAAAAH I love the subtle resemblance between Layton and what you can see of Descole’s face

- In hindsight, that… stole? Is that what it is? The fur thing isprobably to hide his face shape because it most likely ups his resemblance to Layton

- But he’s totally wearing black converse like the extra hipster nerd he is

- God, I can’t even imagine the nightmare of having your memories overridden and personality suppressed

- Aaaaaaaaaaaand here’s the summation. I love this part in pretty much every Layton thing

- “Assisting you was the scientist, Jean Descole!” Descole: lol hi

- LAYTON YOU ARE SUCH A DAD I LOVE YOU

- Him being gentle with kids is so sweet

- Also damn this backstory is a lot. I can’t imagine the pain of losing a loved one, but I’m not surprised a father would do anything he could to keep his daughter alive

- “When did you realise I was involved” “ur an extra bitch who lives for drama, who else could it be”

- That brief bit of Luke without his hat just makes him look even more BABY BOI MUST PROTECC

- Okay real talk when did Janice get hold of the key

- I’m guessing it was in the commotion when Mr Whistler grabbed Luke

- SUCH A GOOD TWIST I LOVE IT

- My heeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaart goddammit

- In hindsight, the hint of Janice wearing Melina’s pendant was really subtle and clever

- GODDAMMIT DESCOLE CAN YOU STOP BEING EXTRA FOR LIKE TEN SECONDS

- It’s kinda cool that he’s an archaeologist too though. It really does run in the family.

- The way Descole and Whistler’s schemes intertwined was really cool

- Yeah, it just wouldn’t be Descole if there wasn’t some over-the-top machinery

- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MAGIC MUSIC THIS IS MY SHIT

- When escaping from a crumbling castle, do be sure to grab your boy.

- AAAAAAAAAGH THE SCENERY IN THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKING GOOD

- Good lord, there it is. Descole just can’t function unless he has some ridiculous Humongous Mecha at his command

- This thing looks especially monstrous and I love it

- I don’t think I’ve seen ANY faults in this movie’s animation, jesus Christ

- Descole, did you learn nothing from the attempted excavation of Troy? It’s very possible that your efforts to unearth Ambrosia will be what destroys it!

- Aaaaaaaagh this flying scene is intense as FUCK

- Layton and Luke are SUCH A GOOD TEAM

- WHAT IS THIS MUSIC I LOVE IT

- Luke you are SUCH A GOOD BOY

- Sorry but you’ll never be mob tho

- Mob is perfection

- JESUS CHRIST DESCOLE ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL A CHILD

- I was about to ask where that explosion came from but then I realised it was probably a petrol-powered chainsaw

- Layton who told you that you could look this goddamn epic

- But I love that he’s taking on the sword-armed Descole with a PIPE

- That footwork tho

- Layton must be an amazing dancer

- So cool that he’s patiently explaining why Descole was wrong

- Sun, stars and sea. I feel like that’s a Dothraki term of endearment meant for oceanfairing

- MORE MAGIC MUSIC I AM BLESSED

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS IS THE FUCKING COOLEST

- I’M SUCH A SLUT FOR MAGIC MUSIC GODDAMMIT AND THIS IS DOUBLE TEAMING ME WITH SINGING AND PIANO

- I do enjoy that despite its emergence, Ambrosia is still partially submerged. Some movies would’ve had it rise from the sea completely

- Lol at Descole losing his shit because SOMEONE ELSE found the answer

- Yeah, bad idea attacking someone right on top of your humongous mecha’s control panel

- “DESCOLE!” dude he’s fine you really think he’d die

- I was going to ask why Emmy didn’t use her plane but she probably couldn’t get to it in time

- Yeah, this is SO Ghibli. The gigantic industrialised machine self-destructing on the ruins of an ancient civilisation lost to nature

- Noooooooooo don’t do this to me movie, nothing kills me like sad flashbacks

- Ow my heart

- This hurts

- “I’m sorry, Father. I’ve only ever brought you grief and sadness, haven’t I” as someone who’s struggled with depression this is a whole-ass mood

- NO THIS HURTS STOP IT

- Also the lil detail of Whistler’s waistcoat being the same shade of purple as Melina/Janice’s dress

- NOOO DON’T MAKE LUKE SAD

- “I’m so glad all of you were my very last memory.” Damn that line hits hard

- GIVE THE GIRL A HUG, LAYTON

- I said a hug, not a hand on the shoulder, she needs a HUG

- Seeing the destroyed detrogan really hammers it home, huh

- It’s very kind of Grosky to let Whistler play one last time in memory of his daughter

- When I got into the Layton series, I was no expecting to be hit so hard with the FEELS

- “Do you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

- GNU Ambrosia, I guess

- Ugh it’s so PRETTY tho

- Fucking sparkles and shit

- D’awwwww, I love the image of Luke patching up the wolves, he’s so sweet

- Knowing the truth about Emmy and seeing her being so happy with Layton and Luke makes it really painful :’(

- The world needs more of Layton with a big, happy smile

- Awww, Author Lady and Pumpkin Dude kept in touch

- GROSKY GOT HIS UNDIES BACK

- Ugh seeing Layton and Luke peacefully listening to that music is SO CUTE and SOFT

#professor layton and the eternal diva #professor layton #hershel layton #luke triton #pl #The Amazing Adventures of Rainy Meadows #this movie is so good holy shit #delicious finally some good fucking video game movie

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steve0discusses · 6 years ago

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Yugioh S3 Ep 2: The VR Zone Has a Hell Ton of Trees

Alright guys I am regretting the hell out of this teriyaki ramen bowl I just ate, so it’s a better time than ever to go back into this VR arc. Now that the Big 5 have made their speech, all of them quite fat and one with a cane although he doesn’t even have a body anymore, they are ready to send everyone down a series of...plot-shaped holes.

Like they were JUST in some sort of tropic zone, to go back to here and then go somewhere else and so like--this is still VR I think? Like I’m assuming they went VR the moment they entered this room but it is quite vague at what point they were officially in VR. Was it when their vision went fwisssh and everyone split into RGB layers or was it that they got knocked out with gas quite a long time ago and were just unaware that it happened? Probably a bunch of these things.

With this announcement we find out that everyone--and I mean everyone--has to play cards now, although I’m pretty sure half of them have duel disks and the other’s are like...not equipped? I mean it’s VR, so hypothetically no one at all needs a duel disk anymore but you gotta sell toys, so no matter what, Yugi’s going to be lugging this heavy sharp thing on his wrist, even when he knows he will soon be shot down a wacky hole.

The title of last episode, ps was “VR Nightmare,” but like, it’s actually fairly pleasant, compared to the blimp hell we were dealing with just a few episodes back. I mean I guess people are actively trying to kill us here but when are they not?

The audacity of this show. Every state in the US has huge ass fake castles in it leftover from the Rockefeller era. Where else are our Moms supposed to drag us on Day Trips so we can get our history credit for Girl Scouts?

Americans are hella good at creating fake historical sites--all you need is a 50+ year old house and some turret work possibly made by a reasonably well known architect and it’s like “yeah that’s a good enough castle for me! Can we say it’s haunted, too? It’s hella haunted! Come to my castle B+B!”

(read more under the cut)

Tea landed in some concept art that kind of looks like the underside of a mushroom. I dunno how I’d classify this rock structure.

And then Kaiba landed in his worst nightmare which was being in a normal park with one single straight road but somehow still completely lost. At least Mokuba managed to fall into the same hole as his brother to ensure that Seto wouldn't be lost for like the rest of this arc. Which was actually kind of an unintentionally hilarious animation.

*rare shot of the Kaibas actually taking a break*

Man, this is the closest they’ve gotten to a real hug in kind of a while. Like when was the last time these bros hugged? Pegasus’ castle?

Meanwhile, Noah is admiring his work from this throne room and it would be a whole lot more intimidating if he wasn’t in calf-high black socks.

His outfit is like a white school uniform so what gives with the black socks? Like of all the things to complain about on Yugioh (especially since I see Yugi’s hair looking right at me in the next cap) those socks though. Those are pretty inappropriate with this outfit, Noah. Especially matched with this God Throne you’ve got going on. Did not see socks like that matched with a chair like this.

Meanwhile Yugi is all by himself but that doesn’t matter at all because he is 2 (3) people. This strategy to isolate everyone only really worked on Serenity and Joey, TBH, since Tea is also accompanied by slightlylessevil!Marik (who hasn’t really said anything since the VR started).

I knew Bakura would be out for a while, but I didn’t realize it meant everyone else wasn’t even going to once acknowledge it, it is baffling. I mean I get they’re super distracted right now but your friend is DEAD.

Honestly I would not mind if the big 5 succeeded and we had to see some old men try and work with Yugi’s hair and alt rock clothing, deal with Pharaoh sassing them from a brain labyrinth, go to Yugi’s school where people get savagely beat up like every other day, deal with Bakura and Marik trying to body snatch and other magic assholery during class breaks, and through all that watching the Big 5 attempt to take over the world with their megacorp that no longer sells guns but actually sells like...children’s entertainment supplies which include the dueling roombas from S1. How on Earth do they actually think that getting a body would help them at this point? They would be Yugi Muto and that is the last face anyone would ever take seriously.

Pharaoh pops up and is like “I guess we’re doing this right now? Really wish we weren’t doing this right now.”

Anyway, because they don’t physically exist in this digital world, neither do God Cards, or any other card in their deck. So, now they have to make new decks out of a pool. Very convenient for the writing team, bad news for Kaiba’s intense and vaguely romantic relationship with his Blue Eyes. Really glad we spent a full season talking about how much these cards meant to all these people, from the magicians, to Joey’s Red Eyes, and then that one card that was Mako Tsunami’s Dad or something--really glad we learned all of that to just completely erase it this arc.

I sounded sarcastic just now, I actually wasn’t for once, I am so glad to just purge my mind of all those card memories for a little while. Just allow myself to forget. Ah. My mind is already so much clearer. It feels so good. I am very much ok with this soft reset, I kinda needed it.

Since Yugi is supposed to choose a Deck Master from his set of cards for this particular type of duel monsters duel, he goes right for the dark magician--since that’s his MO, but for some reason Kuriboh chose himself? Like this greasy thing just hopped out of the card and played himself.

Anyway Kuriboh is now their new Pikachu and well...this show has done worse cute-character-that-does-literally-nothing-else type things to me, speaking of, lets see what Serenity is up to.

This is a digital hellscape, Serenity.

Serenity, you are going to die here.

Serenity.

So because I just realized just now in Season 3 that Duke’s necklace is a hot, over designed disaster (much like Duke himself) I figured I should like...see what this necklace is supposed to look like. So I typed into Google “duke devlin necklace” and guys, turns out there is a LOT of Yugioh jewelry--and I don’t mean like fanart (which there is also a lot), I mean like officially, a lot of people in this show wear a lot of jewelry and so it was sort of hard to find a good pic of a Duke Devlin specific necklace--especially since it feels like most people just go for the dice earring because that’s way easier.

But what’s interesting about the Duke Devlin necklace, at least from my quick search, is that when we bring it to the real world, it gets a little lost, like a game of telephone.

Cuz I assumed that was a clown on his necklace--and there’s quite a few clown necklaces, but I’m also seeing skulls, I’m seeing gothic crosses, I’m seeing spikes and knives instead of crosses. Bro thought it was a flower for some reason--I kinda blew his mind just now when I pointed out it was a clown. Some people think it’s made of silver, other people think it’s sort of painted? (I assumed the cross was entirely blinged out with rhinestones--my honest assumption) No one can actually agree. Especially since Duke apparently changed his necklace for the movie. I know that because it looks a lot like the Legend of Zelda emblem, and some people had the actual Legend of Zelda emblem mis-tagged as Duke Devlin. Which sucks a whole lot for their SEO, and sucked a whole lot for me in my search to find a real actual Duke Devlin necklace.

Like, feel free to attach a link to a reply -- is there an official physical Duke Devlin necklace that Yugioh inc sells? Like I just want to know--officially--what the hell I’m looking at.

Anyway, back to the show, much like everyone else, these two are hopelessly lost.

Kaiba seems to keep forgetting that his Dad is clearly behind all this and would obviously have his old tech but like...Kaiba forgets so much I can forgive him this.

So, faced with roads that lead no where, Tristan decides to do his tried and true method of solving all of his problems.

And at the other end of the VR zone Tea is getting kidnapped after...being kidnapped by Noah while she was already kidnapped by Marik. This is three levels of kidnap, yes?

OH SHOOT IS THAT A ONCE DOOR. DID SOMEONE DO WHAT I HOPE THEY DID? OH SHOOT.

I will read their fanfiction start to end I swear to you I will do it if it exists and I will report back to you who dates Captain Hook and who is related to Henry Mills.

OMG It didn’t exist.

You have got to be kidding me.

I am beside myself, this is the only property known to man that has not been turned into a OUAT fanfiction.

Incredible.

That or I’m just really bad at searching for fanfics since I haven’t actually read any since my LiveJournal days. Like, when you’re basically immune to shipping, as I am, you just really lose the desire to read about 90% of fanfiction.

Anyway, the closest we have to a OUAT Yugioh fanfiction, to my knowledge, is that cap I made just now right there. Your welcome, Once community.

This is absolutely made of load-bearing drywall. Why do none of the sets of windows line up with each other and how many stories is this? Like 2.5? And you can stand on the roof I guess because it has handrails? It’s super weird.

Anyway, I just made a OUAT joke and maybe it’s because I knew shortly after we were gonna get--that’s right--an orphanage flashback. OUAT was basically 6 seasons of effed up orphan flashbacks so I feel pretty well prepared. Like bro was worried how I’d handle this filler but y’all, I watched the Lily arc in OUAT. I can do anything.

*slaps hands together*

Totes ready for these boys to have been given up for adoption via a magical tree and a memory curse, only to find out their real parents are 3 years younger than them because of a time loop. Make it weird, Yugioh!

Anyway, as always, if you want a link to read these from the beginning in Chrono order and without any comments and all that jazz here’s a link

#Yugioh #photo recap #recap #S3 Ep2 #yugi muto #seto kaiba #big 5 #Noah #joey wheeler #tea gardner #duke devlin #tristan taylor #mokuba #Anyways I'm gonna go make cookies at 9 PM #because I have a headache and I feel like this will fix it somehow.

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cloud69b · 8 years ago

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GOT7 Turbulence in LA exp

After class on friday, I eagerly waited and got ready to go to the airport. I was so jittery that my friend who was doing laundry had sat with me in my room as I continued to mess with everything and anything. I had just got back to college and I was leaving immediately, haha. My brother had also come back from Taiwan earlier so my english was all messed up. I had my vacation mode still on and ready to see Got7.

As I got into my uber, I realized I had forgotten this pair of fake glasses I like to wear because it makes my face look smaller. Also, they are nifty because they look cute. But, I was in the uber pool, so the girl beside me was going to the nail salon. It was a honda civic, and the guy was really nice driver.

A little apprehensive about getting my plane ticket as I got into the San Jose airport, the lady helped me get my boarding pass. I was flying with Alaska airlines, but the plane was run by another company so I was a little confused but moved along easily. I wore my old jrotc jacket, so people didn’t really look at me weird travelling alone haha. I got through security quickly and the gate I needed was right in front of the security check, so I got to the gate at 3:30pm, a whole 3 hours before my flight. haha, I really couldn’t wait.

During the flight, this asian guy who sat by me seemed to be very tired, very annoyed and looked like he was having an huge migrane. As soon as we departed and the drink cart was seen, he kept whispering “apple juice” lol. But we were sitting in the back so it took a while before he was blessed with his apple juice. I had an orange juice. I tried scribbling my hand in my journal for some drawing but it seemed to give him a worse headache so I closed my journal and sat there.

As I landed, my phone thought I was still in San Jose. 1000$ for an uber! OH my god, hahaha. The security guard helped me figure out which airport I was at, the John Wayne Santa Ana airport and I got another honda civic uber driver to Irvine. She was really nice as well.

My friend Destiney let me stay with her! It was super nice and we were going to go to the concert together. I met with all her friends, and they were super cool people. I felt bad that they had to meet me, a complete scrub to people and looked high 24/7 since my face is naturally red and I love to laugh. They don’t sleep! It’s like I was in the art building during finals again, where no one slept for weeks.

After I landed friday, Saturday was a complete day with Wingchung’s friends. I’m very thankful they let me into their rooms, shared their wisdom and humor with me, and I believe accepted me well. I may never know, because I’m a particular person.

SUNDAY. 170129 D-Day

We left UC Irvine around 12pm, using uber. To the venue it took maybe an hour and I cried as my wallet became thinner. Since my friend wingchung was a little less informed about got7 than I am, we watched their old mvs and performances to laugh. I showed her JJ Project and Girls x3, which was hilarious on their own.

The venue was already clustered with fangirls. Tbh, kpop fandoms are quite toxic so we stayed away after I picked up my merch. Actually, we sat in this empty parking lot in the shade and just talked as we waited. After a bit, the fansites arrived at the venue! So we went out to search for them as I bought Markstouch banner, I’ve waited weeks for this banner!!

While searching for AsecondDay, bambam fansite, I couldn’t open the door to where they were, and this person beside the door thought we were trying to get into this tattoo convention that was happening right beside the venue. LOL. Kind as they were, they gave us a free wristband to go see the tattoo expo! Super cool, thank you so much hahaha. Gave us something to do before the concert/fm.

After that we just got ice cream and chilled away from the venue talking about this and that. It had been a while since I saw my best friend, and now that we go to college across the state we don’t get to see each other often. Even before college, I moved from my hometown so it was really nice to talk to her again face to face.

While waiting across the venue, a silhouette appeared in the window. I suspect it was bambam, but the screams were so loud that you could hear it from blocks away haha. We stayed away still, until it was about 5:40pm and went to line up.

In line, this girl who also goes to UCI talked to us. I made a couple jokes and laughed, glad to know I’m funny. The lines to the right had less people so we moved over and didn’t say bye to her. Bye bye, now I said it.

Our seats were in the balcony, Left Center row A so no one was in front of us and we had a great view of the stage. Nothing obstructing and also next to the aisle, so we had minimal people sitting near us! Great!

Wingchung thought the volume was just going to be as loud as Hard Carry started to play in the beginning, signalling the start of the concert. But it dropped even louder and she was so shook I laughed. Jokes on me though, because the moment Got7 walked out I started screaming my head off and got my phone out to record everything I could.

I got like 10 texts the next day saying the same thing “Wow avery I didn’t know you could scream like that” hahahah

MARK. I could not believe my eyes!! He’s real! And being back in LA, he seemed so happy, looking to where his family was pretty much the whole concert. His nieces were in the concert as well, it was so nice and I’m glad he was happy to be back. During the games, he stood off to the side by himself thinking about the songs and rose his hand once he found his answer. He shouted “Mark!” so cutely I couldn’t even handle myself. His question was what was his favorite disney movie: Toy Story. and his first was Dumbo, put his hands beside his ears and waved them. CUTE!! his second question was to do his favorite dance, which he called Yugyeom to do sexy dancing. AHHH R18+! During his ending ment, he choked up a little saying it was great to have support over seas so he can see his family during these sorts of things. Also, his partner during the game was wearing a Jackson hoodie. SO when they won, Bambam came over and exposed her LOL and Mark walked across the stage and took his jacket off in mock frustration. It was really sexy and cute, as Jackson escorted her off stage with a hug. Near the end of the concert, he also took off his jacket showing his ENTIRE body line and I was blessed. He’s so fit and his legs look great i still cant believe I saw him.

Jaebum looked really tired for the concert, and it was completely understandable. They’ve been performing non stop across the country in a span of only 1 week! He sat cutely, SAID HIS NAME CUTELY DURING THE GUESS THE SONG GAME. Immediately Youngjae started to tease him. I can’t even. And in the end, he took off his coat and put on his hood while singing. I love Jaebum and his fluffiness. I swear he’s the fluffiest member.

Jackson, oh jackson! After his rest, he seemed rejuvenated and ready for this last fanmeet in the US. He was jumping around at the beginning, teasing Yugyeom during his question and did the incredible Jackson experience. Wingchung likes Jackson the most, so it was really funny. During the song game, Him, Mark, and Jinyoung crouched beside the speakers to try and listen better. But either of the three got one right haha. He was so sweet to his guest, and cracked jokes. His guest was from china, had the same last name but apparently her bias was Jinyoung, which had him mimicking disappointment. Jinyoung went to shake her hand but Jackson slapped it away to hug her! So funny and cute haha. Though they didnt do well, Jackson counted well haha. His ending ment was inspiring and it was every word I needed for this semester.

Jinyoung. I can’t believe. I can’t choose between Bambam or Youngjae or Jackson or Yugyeom or JB as my second bias, but Jinyoung you are so fucking close to being it. BTW got7 wore one of my favorite outfit sets from their recent activities, so Jinyoung’s outfit looks extremely similar to DGM’s 3rd gen uniform, and I love it. His hair still had that slight perm, so cuuuuute. He and Mark sat in beside each other, stood beside each other and won Rock paper scissors together(with jackson). Markjin! Iw as shook, in tears. He also was fiddling with his mic in the back of his pants, and it looked like he was scratching his butt haha. He was super cute, his english is to swoon over. His voice live is WOW. During the song game, he begged the MC to play the song one more time. “Please, one more time” he said and I swear my stomach flipped haha. When he finally got to answer after saying “Jinyoung Jinyoung” he didn’t know the song and guessed “Fly?” His question he picked up was to expllain his first impressions of each memeber. Jackson: Hong Kong actor. Mark: a little dark lol Jaebum: (in english) I met him for 7 years now! Youngjae: (honestly i forgot) Bambam: CUTE and innocent and SMALL yugyeom: innocent but TALL he thought he was a sunbae hahaha

mark was beside him saying “mark mark” it was so cute. When the mc said no, Jinyoung, again cutely said “Fly?” and got another no. I cant. He almost won the hacky sack game, he’s so good at it! Mark moved across the stage to film Jinyoung while the encore.

Youngjae was so happy. The entire concert he was full of sunshine and smiles and laughs, he’s so precious save me. He guessed the most in the song game and won! Amazing!! His hacky sack game was second to go up, so he got 4 and was in the lead. Saying “I am the best!” but in the end he lost and I felt for him so much, he was looking forward!!! His voice is so amazing live. The stereos were a little weird and everyone’s voice was an octive higher? My ears might’ve been fooling me because in all my videos it was fine. Youngjae, let me tell you his voice is so much better live. Definitely blessed my ears with his amazing loud vocals. In the end, he called out the 2 artists he looked up to, even sang their song for the jyp audition AND SANG A PART OF IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE. The two artists stood up A ROW AWAY FROM US and waved!! They were so nice! Im so glad Youngjae got to meet some of his favorite artists while in LA. That’s amazing.

Bambam is 100% cannot believe he’s real, cannot believe i saw him dab dab and ju ju and dance the whip with helium it was unbelievable. His hair was so bright, probably the brightest thing on stage. While the song game, he would yell his name, bending backwards lika “BAM!!!!” and wouldnt know the answer. He got one right though! He’s so sos ososososo precious. He called his guest Queen, because he was sad that he wasnt good at the hacky sack game. His ending ment hinted at their new album, and that we will be surprised! He dabbed, I saw it irl. Bambam is fantastic!

AND Yugyeom. He was quiet for the majority of the concert, but honestly so big! I didn’t think he’d be so different, because in broadcasts I didn’t really catch but irl he really has a different build than his hyungs. But he was so cute! During his helium, he didn’t know what to do and panicked. His endingment was really nice and thanked us for supporting even overseas. During hacky sack, he kicked his hacky too high and it hit his guest on the chest! She had really good stage feeling, because she fell over like she died and Yugyeom was so scared and sad that he ran over saying sorry so many times. Gave her a big hug, while they both laughed at what had happened. So cute! Honestly, I dont remember much else of what Yugyeom did ;;; im sorry.

And all memebers had to do squats while flapping like a bird (ahgase!) when they got the song guess wrong. IT WAS CUTE.

After the concert I was in so much denial that we had just saw Got7 that i couldnt even believe where I was. Before we left the venue, we picked up some pieces of confetti. Wingchung was spent, we both couldnt talk and she was even more surprised at the amount of screaming I did. We called an uber again, and steadily made it back to UCI.

over night, i couldnt even. I kept telling wingchung that I didn’t believe i saw them irl and my throat hurt a lot I kept coughing myself awake. In the morning, we ate and I went to Wingchung’s big biology lecture class! The professor definitely knew i was not supposed to be there, as I sat there doodling markjin in my journal hahaha.

After that, I left. We hugged and said goodbye, I miss her already but gotta do school. I was missing class on monday since my flight was delayed but my uber to the airport was another honda civic. hahah, this uber driver was also very nice! In the airport, I let myself have some McDonalds, a close comfort food for me having many memories of highschool to me. While waiting another girl talked to me about the fanmeeting. She had went! Spotted me because I now was wearing the USA turbulence hoodie. And we were on the same flight, so we talked all about got7 before boarding. I was moved to the front of the plane though (the first time my name was called in the airport speaker!) and she was in the back, so our meeting was cut short.

The guy beside me was watching a creepy movie, so I didnt know where to look haha. I love planes, even as a little kid, and now I love them even more because of got7 hahahaha.

I got back onto campus, but before that My uber. I didn’t know where i’d be picked up and got mixed up. So the guy made it to the place but i was struggling to cross the street (the light was red) and get there. The guy was about to cancel on me after 1 minute of waiting! Oh my god! And the other lady in the pool was really mean. It was another honda civic though LOL.

he wasnt very nice as a uber driver, so my final uber was really awkward.

But overall, Im completely blessed to have been able to see Got7 and go to socal just for the concert and see my friend wingchung, meet her friends. See got7 see Mark in real life. it was surreal.

But thank you so much GOT7 for the Turbulence in USA fanmeet tour. It must’ve been crazy tiring, but I’m thankful you gave it your all for LA. Thank you!

Now that Im back in school, not flying around any more and got my english back, I will focus hard and not do so much on the internet.

bye!

cloud/avery

#i'll probably draw them later in another post. im very busy now #very very long post

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