#I still remember many different bathrooms I went to with my grandmother

[queenofquestions]

Golden Girls, the show where many of the best scenes happen in the bathroom…

[beldamsgarden]

9/24/24

This night was rough.

When I had gotten home, I crashed immediately (around 9 PM?) and woke up at 2 AM to do my night routine. And then I crawled into the free twin-sized bed in my grandma's room, since her room is closest to the bathroom. I was trying to switch to back-sleeping because it's apparently better for posture. Naturally, I got sleep paralysis. Twice in one night.

I'm good at separating dreams from reality. I often know during my dreams that I'm dreaming and can sometimes manipulate the events. It was different this time. Everything was so realistic that I was confused. And scared.

These are the dreams I can remember

DREAM 01: It Starts Off Mundane

My friends and I were hanging out in LA. I had to join them later because I was busy with something, so I didn't get to go to the arcade with them. I met up with them at some fusion between Spirit Halloween and a coffee shop. It was a good time. I went home and to bed.

I woke up IRL but was very confused. I wasn't even sure if I had actually fallen asleep or just been awake this entire time (it was 3-4 AM at that point), but deduced that I did sleep and dream because my friends had been in the dream and there was no way we hang out that very same day. After that initial confusion, I went back to sleep

DREAM 02: The Face

I was dreaming of of me waking up. The dream was set in my same bed, same night, same everything. It felt like a continuation of Dream 01.

Every time I shut my eyes, I would see a face. You know how whenever you're watching TV or a bright screen in the dark and then you close your eyes after, you still see the after image in the back of your eyes? Yeah, it was like this, except the afterimage would not go away, no matter how many times I blinked. The face resembled a theater mask, split vertifically down in the middle. One side was black and one side was white. It was smiling.

I couldn't move no matter how much I tried twisting my neck. I think I was awake at this point. And then I somehow went back to sleep. Dream-me was able to break out of sleep paralysis and then switch bedrooms (back to my actual room), where I finally went back to sleep in the dream as well.

DREAM 03: What Kind of Fucked Up Super Power is This?

I was back in that twin-sized bed, since I never actually physically left it in real life. I was confused though, because I could've sworn I went back to my bedroom. I was mistaking Dream 02 for reality.

In this dream (at least I think it was a dream), I was waking up, and something felt very wrong. Stomach dropping wrong. Whenever I closed my eyes and thought about anyone, they would begin to appear extremely vividly in my head. From the lexture of their hair to the lines in their skin. I felt wrong, and I knew that if I finished that thought and fully rendered them in my mind, they would die.

I was originally thinking of my high school best friend, but I then switched thoughts over to my grandmother. She was sleeping in the bed over to mine, and I was terrified that I would kill her just by thinking about her.

Somehow, I was able to shut off my brain. I was definitely awake at this point.

I tried to call out for my grandma but nothing would come out of my mouth. I breathed in and out deeply, wiggled my toes (took a lot of effort. Reminded me of that one Kill Bill scene). And then I actually called out for her. She didn't respond because she was asleep.

My mom heard me and burst in the room. She was up early to do something (5-6 AM?). She was like oh my gods what's wrong and I kinda just waved my hand and told her it was another dream.

And then I overslept and skipped my first lecture. Again. My psych prof probably hates me atp. What can I say? I struggle to get up because of how sleep deprived I've been.

[jewishdainix]

When I was young, younger than my mind can remember, my mother used to bathe me in laundry baskets she filled with water and called a tub. When I grew too large for them and they grew so old and cracked that we couldn'tfill them with water anymore, I started uphaling baths as a sort of a luxury. Not because of our socioecconomic status or anything - all my friends have about the same status as me and they all have small baths in their houses - its just that we have always lived in old apartments with bathrooms the size of closests and mold on the wall (to this day I am overly impressed at clean looking houses and bathrooms with enough room). My grandparents had bathtubs, and whenever we stayed at their place I would bathe in them. My grandmother would watch over me while I played with plastic boxes and made potions with soap. But I still grew and we visited less. Last time I had a bath there I sat alone. I was bored and stressed; the water went cold far too fast. I kept wanting to be on my phone. I started sitting down in the shower because my chronic pain made it impossible to stand for that long. Last time I've been at my grandparents' I nearly took a bath before realizing it wouldn't be fun, and what is likely a huge waste of water. I took a quick cold shower instead; I couldnt get the water warm. I went to some of my parents' friends' house, hours and hours drive away from our home. They had a small private pool. I floated on it, for a few minutes feelling a release from it all. My dad jokingly asked me if I havn't drowned. I sit in the shower now and wonder if in the future I'll even be able to take as many showers as I do now (once a day, because my mum won't let me go a day in summer without showering). I sometimes imagine a different me, one sitting in a large open bathtub, feelling light and calm and not lonely. One who doesnt need to bussy her mind to not feel it close in on her like a swarm of bees or tightning dirt. One I can never be. The people and chlorine in the local public pool make me sick. I'm scared of the ocean.

[invisiblefoxfire]

Growing up in the 90s in the generally quite "liberal" state of Massachusetts, I never heard the word "transgender" or any kind of description of what that would mean. I would regularly get lectures from well-meaning friends and family about how if I didn't learn how to be "more ladylike" I'd die alone and unloved and my life would be misery until the end. As I got older, the lectures transformed into punishments for such things as "walking like a boy" and "having too many boys as friends" and "playing the wrong sports" and "wearing the wrong clothes." All of this was wrapped in after-school special language about how I should "be myself" (but, you know, not like that).

In the late 90s, I remember my grandmother walking up behind me while I was watching an Ellen Degeneres stand up special on the TV, grabbing the remote, and turning it off, because "we don't support what she stands for in this house."

Some time later, my father went on a long, angry rant on a car ride about a horrifying news story he'd heard, about how a "little boy" and "his" family had sued their school for the right for the kid to wear dresses and use the girls bathroom. My father was fuming, literally punching the steering wheel, over the insanity of it. "That's not how we do things in America!!!" he shouted, then ranted about how "democracy" means "the majority rules" and you don't get to "force the majority" to make changes just because you're different. If you're in a minority, then you have to suck it up and adapt to society because THAT'S WHAT DEMOCRACY MEANS!

I was lucky. I endured constant bullying by kids at school and family at home, but was never physically harmed. I managed to blend in well enough to avoid being in danger. I "only" had to endure constant depression, anxiety, and self-loathing over being a freak who never managed to do anything right, someone who deserved to be alone because I never managed to be a "proper girl." This led to many years of abusive relationships when I finally grew up and went out on my own, because I'd always been treated that way and didn't think I deserved any better.

I'm sure I said many times that I wished I'd been a boy, but the idea that could actually be one was totally foreign in the environment I grew up in. And even when I finally did learn the word in university, it was always framed as a type of person who "always knew" who they really were (and in any case the only trans people I ever knew about were trans women anyway) - so I fully believed I was trapped as a "cis woman" forever.

I graduated high school in 2003, university in 2007. I finally realized that I was (and was allowed to be) a man in 2020 and started the HRT that changed my life. I still have trouble dating because I'm gay and the gay cis male community has a widespread (not universal, but common enough to make things difficult) fear of vaginas.

So, as others before me have said: no, you didn't hear about it, because no one was willing to hear it. No one spoke about it. No one had the vocabulary for it, especially in school. And anyone who was fortunate enough to really know who they were would be in danger if they ever told a soul.

I graduated high school in 99.

There was a student at our school named Wayne.

Wayne was gay. It was obvious. He was unable to stay in the closet even if he wanted to. To make matters worse, he was also Black. From a bullying standpoint, that was not a great combo. Both Black and white students made fun of him relentlessly. He was ostracized from the only community that may have given him protection. Only us theater kids stuck up for him, but not to significant effect.

Wayne was bullied so much that at one point he finally snapped and attacked his bullies with a lunch tray. I was actually seated in perfect line of sight and just sat there chewing my soggy fries in stunned silence. It didn't even seem real as I was witnessing it. The image of him wailing on his main bully as the food on his tray flew off is permanently logged into my long term memory.

The bully he attacked had blood all over his face and went straight to the nurse. Other than superficial cuts, he was not injured.

Before the attack, Wayne went to teachers for help. He went to guidance counselors for help. He went to the principals for help.

He did all of the things you were supposed to do. No one helped him. They wagged a finger at the bullies and warned them to stop.

Wayne's lunch tray melee was the only thing that worked. His bullies stayed far away from him. But a week later Wayne was expelled and the bullies were given no punishment.

So... no.

No one in my school talked about being trans.

Because the only way to survive being openly queer was to bash people with a lunch tray.

[dilf-women-crabrangoon-lover]

Vent Post! TW: CPTSD, DID SYSTEM, DV ABUSE, SEVRE NEGLECT, BPD

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Tldr: I was abused and neglected by my mother, and was caught in a DV household every weekend for 8 years and developed 2 different personality disorders because of it (DID, BPD) 🫠🙃

This is gonna be long and a sneak peak into just a snippet of things I went through as a little kid. Surprise! It's not good!

Pay: he/him Current Host, closest to the body(Host from ages 8-23, now cohost)

Aurora: Me! Original host, I gave up the body to him when I was probably around 8 and just went dorment

Today, me and my grandfathers girlfriend and I were talking about how we will be older than our father because he died at 24, and just like our mother we live in spite of what they've done.

She interrupted us and said, "She had no part in raising you, just because she was your mother doesn't mean she took care of you or raised you, you saw her what, once a month?" and to a degree, she was right. Our grandmother had been our main caregiver since age 2, but every weekend for 8 years, I went to my mother's house for the weekend. I told her, "No, I was at her house every weekend. There's houses I will never be able to go back into. One of the worst ones was right down the road from my childhood home. I know they remodeled that house, but I don't think I could ever step foot in it again."

She looked shocked to a degree but was not fully surprised by it anyway. The things my mother has done make this very believable.

I continued, "It was my sister's aunts house. Our bedroom was a room with a large wood sheet with a latch on the outside. She would leave us locked in there from Saturday from 6 pm till Sunday at 4 pm when she drank and did a lot of drugs the night before. I almost broke my fingers, trying to open that door. My sisters hadn't eaten and needed to go to the bathroom really badly." She looked shocked. My grandfather then came in and got her attention, and I went to my room and started having very vivid memories of that house. And everything I experienced in it.

It would be me and my 3 little sisters. Their dad would get home and drink. He was a nasty drunk, angry, and always violent. They would fight and scream and raise hell, some nights he'd pass out drunk in his chair, more times he'd beat my mother, his sister always yelled for him to stop but she never stepped in to help. Then the cops would be called, and my grandmother would rush over to get me and my sisters out of the house before cops got there. And lastly, there were nights where I would be the center of his hate, whether it be mocking how I eat, making pig noises when I ate. I was 6. He would hit me, scream at me, grab me. I was terrified constantly.

I don't really think anyone will read this, but if you do decide to read this, give a heart. We usually are very private people, but writing helps us process information. If not, it bubbles up and makes me intensely anxious :(

Some nights, I would cry so hard to go home that I'd throw up. One time, my mother told me that if I threw up, I'd sleep in it. I developed insomnia I still struggle with to this day. I was in a constant state of fight or flight. I'd be scared out of my mind from Sunday till Wednesday, and then by Thursday, I'd remember I'm going back and would beg not to go. My grandparents only saw the really bad police called moments, and I didn't know how to talk about what was happening to me, I think at that age there were so many adults letting these things happen to me that I thought everyone knew and just didn't care.

We say that our personality disorders often are gifts handpicked for us by our mother. We have an official diagnosis for Manic Depressive Bipolar (our mother also has bipolar it runs in the family), Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, and CPTSD with verbal diagnosis from 2 different therapist for autism/adhd/did (I can't afford a place that can give me that diagnosis currently) She was young when she had me. I was her daughter, her first born. I could never understand how, at my age, she was abusing my sisters and I. She has bpd and bipolar and is proudly not medicated. She will never understand that she is the problem, and her actions have consequences. We cut contact with our mother in May 2021. Best decision of our lives.

Thanks for reading 👋

[izzysbeans]

It is so common of me to wish i was dead. As a kid i was obsessed with beetlejuice, i wanted to be like Lydia, talk to the dead. I even asked my mom one day if i could have her seance table with candles and all. I remember how she freaked out: she thought i'd started to like the dead more then i did the living. In retrospect maybe she was right. She forbade me from watching beetlejuice for a while, but ghosts were everywhere and she couldnt stop death from following me.

Around that time my grandmother and my great-grandmother both past away. I insisted my mom let me see their bodies. She couldnt believe how calm i was. 8 years old, looking death straight in the face, no fear in sight but rather fascination instead.

At 11 i started going out on my own and id walk alone to the cemetery, sit right at my grandfather's grave and tell him all about how me and my brother were doing. Id see him in every white butterfly and every sunflower field. I envied that peacefulness and i wished i could reach him.

At 14 i met a boy who liked to cut his thighs. He hated his life and there was a weight of expectations on his shoulders, things he could never do, he could never be. He tried to kill himself and i screamed out the door of that bathroom so loud i thought i'd never be able to speak again. My brother kicked the door down. There was a lot of blood. He survived and he hated me for saving him. I didn't know what i was saving him from. It broke my heart i wondered if it was my right to make that decision for him, if i had made the right one.

That same year i tried to kill myself too. It is not that i thought there was no way out or that i was trapped in some way. I felt like i didn't have anything to do with this world or in it. I felt like there was no saving me anyway. Id imagine my friends and family suffering for my death. Slowly but surely getting over it. I took all my pills and i went to sleep. Too quickly my body realized what i had done and i started throwing up compulsivly. We lied about what had happend when i went to the hospital. I felt nothing when i woke up.

When i turned 16 my cousin Sara past away. She left a husband and two kids here. I went to see her body and in a way i was relieved for her. She had suffered so much because of her cancer. I couldnt fathom her strenght, she foght it for so long. At her funeral i cried in anger because the priest dared to say god had claimed her and god makes no mistakes: i kept thinking how cruel must a god be to rip a family apart like this. For the first time i thought maybe death wasnt so fair after all.

At 21 i studied to become a mortician. For the most part i was just looking for a job. I felt like not many people wanted to do it and it seemed like something i could be good at. I saw some bodies and reacted accordingly. I was happy. It felt like i was doing a good thing. Honoring them. But there isnt much work in that industry for someone who looks the way that i do. So i had to find a new job.

Now i work at a tech company and i find myself back to when i was 8. Wondering every day what lies beyond the vail. Wishing i was experiencing Lydia 's adventures. Wanting to cross over to find out what else is there. One foot here one foot in a different realm, always living a half life, never fully experiencing anything. I stay in the world of the living and yet all my life i have lived as a ghost.

I am alive but death still follows me.

[b-e-a-n-b-u-n]

I switched schools several times. I went to a public school till mid 3rd grade, a private school the rest of 3rd grade and 4th grade, and then back to a public school for middle school, then finally, highschool. All of them where very hard transitions in very different ways.

School can be hard for young kids, and for the longest time, I was an only child, living with 10 other people, who all loved me, and tried to spoil me all the time. My grandmother took me to my first day of kindergarten, she said I cried the entire way there. Every day after that, she said I cried a little less, and looked forward to going to school.

My mom pulled me out of public school mid year during 3rd grade. I remember it vividly. It was one of the only times I had failed a test. A spelling test no less. I had a hard time with penmanship, and still do to this day. The teach failed me because I didn't write my P's and Q's under the line. My mother says I didn't spell any of them incorrect, but it's still and insecurity of mine. She pulled me from the school, put me in a private school. It wasn't a fancy private school like people see in movies or shows. It was small. The entire student body (which went from kindergarten to 12th grade) was less than 200. The building was older than my grandmother and used to be the church before it slowly got too small to hold everyone during mass. My entire 4th grade class was 7 people, including me and a transfer student that came in halfway through the year. Even though it was small, it was expensive. With less than 200 active students, the tuition was high, and not only that, but each student had to pay for their uniforms, food, and if you lived out of the area, a bussing fee. I didn't really have to pay much of these fees. I lived in the area, and walked to school each day, the school paid for my school lunches, and I got hand-me-downs from the school. I remember going to this dark, damp basement where they had so many old uniforms, ranging from the 80s to the 2000s. Deadass looked like the bathroom that Moaning Myrtle haunted in Harry Potter.

I moved in the summer between 4th grade and 5th grade, two hours away from the home I had grown up in. It was sad, but now it was me, my brothers, and my parents, instead of every living relative in the area. It was ok, I tired to fit in, make friends, get good grades. After awhile, friends would get bored of me, or I would have to take space from people (autistic) and I would hang out with other people. This did not help. I didn't have a lot of friends, and this was a much bigger school than the last two I had gone to. I had become depressed, and my anxiety had gotten worse. I gained weight. So much weight. I got bullied so much, and shamed by doctors and school nurses alike. My mother put me in boyscouts, which I had grown up with my uncles and my grandfather going to meetings or campouts, but the problem was, I am afab. I got bullied so hard for that, and still do. As the only female eagle scout in my county, I am proud but I also think, things would have been a lot better for me if I was put in the program. When 8th grade rolled around, I was losing it. I slowly was doing worse and worse in classes, I started stealing from other students, stealing in general. I got caught (duh, I was a stupid kid that didn't know where the cameras were) and almost got sent to juvie. A month after that, covid hit. I got of Scot free, and got to highschool without anything on my record.

Highschool sucks. I got to a school that was double the size of the last, because it combined 2-3 different middle schools into one highschool. Too many people in the halls, too many teachers didn't like me, my grades were shit, and the people who bullied me in middle school, still bully me in highschool. It slowly started getting better, but my freshman year, I was with the wrong crowd. I hung out with people who tried to be alt and some who even faked have severe illnesses or disabilities. I got lumped in with them, but at the time, I just wanted to be normal. I had survived the first wave of covid, and finally being back in school sucked. Constant shut downs due to spikes in covid cases in the area ruined everyone's grades and movation, and I'm surprised some people, myself included, passed for the year. Sophomore wasn't much better. A few of the problematic people moved away, and I was thankful for that, but more, worse people, were entering my like. I had made eagle scout this year and was not doing great mentally. Grades sucked, I could never turn anything in on time, and if I did turn it in, the grade on it would be poor. I was getting bullied more and more due to stupid things. I would complete my comp apps assignments early in class, get a mid grade, and draw something for the rest of class to keep myself entertained, but somehow, drawing is bad in the eyes of teenage boys who where 50$ juicewrld hoodies and supreme slides, so they picked on me. My dad said it toughen kids up, and kids nowadays are too soft, unlike when he was growing up, but to me, this fcking sucked. I was doing something I liked, and these kids my age, where telling me to kms or something along those lines for just existing, and what makes it worse, is that if they asked me for help, I would help them! They would tell me to get run over in traffic, and I would tell them how to use excel.

My junior year wasn't too bad. I cut off communications with this guy I had been friends with since freshmen year, but I felt so good after that. I really did feel like he was weighing me down, and treating me like shit. After I stopped talking to him, and people stopped associating me with him, people started to stop bullying me. I was in a healthy relationship with my bf, I had great friends, that weren't too problematic, and I didn't have such horrible grades that I had a chance to get held back. At this point I had been going to a therapist and a psychiatrist consistently, and my mental health has been getting better. I made new friends, cut off old ones, and slowly started to figure out who I am. Hopefully my senior year will be better.

Good luck if you go to school, and if you don't, good luck in the goal you strive to complete.

[mjlovescm]

5- New chapter, same old story

Completed, 30 chapters, “Grey” Fezco O’Neill x black fem reader

You expected the morning after McKay's party to be much more awkward. There were so many factors that should have made it that way, but no, instead it was oddly calm. You were woken up by the smell of breakfast being made in the kitchen and the sound of Ashtray’s light snoring beside you. A small smile grows on your face at the sight of the happily sleeping boy. Being one of the few people who could or even would ever see him in this softer light reminded you of how long you’d known him.

Most, practically all of his life. Still remembering the day you went to Fezco’s house after school and found him on the way to the bathroom. It was before you knew what he and his grandmother really did for a living, before she passed. And before, you and Fezco were open about your romantic feelings. It felt like ages ago, mostly because it was, but still it was insane to think about how so much had changed in just a few years.

Being forced out of bed by hunger, you made your way to the kitchen to find Fezco finishing up his cooking. The table was set with three plates, three cups and a knife and fork for each. Not wanting to sneak up on him, you took a seat at the table and waited for him to be done. Unaware that he was being watched, Fezco hummed along to a song playing in his mind as he scrambled the eggs.

You wondered how long you could stay like this, quietly watching Fezco, so out of his element. So familiar and so different at the same time. A twinge of guilt hits you, knowing that this sweet moment wouldn't last long. Soon it would be crushed by the heavy weight of the conversation. A necessary conversation, of course, but heavy nonetheless.

“Good morning.” A just woken up, Ash tells you before giving you a quick side hug.

“Good morning.” You tell him fully, taking in his embrace.

“Oh shit, yall coulda told me yall was up. Eggs are just about done.”

“Bout time we got some real food in here.” Ash complaints, taking the set across from you. Leaving the one next to you open for Fezco. “Tired of eating cereal.”

“All you ever eat is cereal.”

“Because it's all we ever have. Thank god you came over, so he had some reason to feed me something good.”

The guilt returns for a second at the thought or, well, reality of Fezco only cooking breakfast because of you. Quickly, you push it away and laugh off Ashtray’s comment. The three of you eat breakfast in silence, no one feeling the need to speak and fill the empty space. Instead, the three of you rather just enjoy each other being there. When everyone is done eating, Fezco collects the plates and takes them to the sink.

“You staying the whole day?” Ashtray asks genuinely.

“Nah, I gotta get some stuff ready for school.” He frowns at your answer and gets up from the table to go to his room. “But.” He stops. “I was thinking that we could go do something.”

It's a vague response not promise, but a strong possibility. Ash accepts it with a small smile and nod. He leaves the room and Fezco returns to the table, and it's almost impossible to not notice, feel the shift in the atmosphere. He starts to speak, and truthfully you weren't really listening, more so hearing him and taking it in.

Putting all the scattered pieces you'd collected in your mind together with everything he was saying. Fezco knew Rue was interested in drugs, that's why he smoked with her and Lexi. To make sure if she was doing anything, she was doing it in safety. This you knew, but him selling her pills you always suspected but now knew for sure.

“I knew bout Rue thing for a lil bit, but I ain't think it was a real problem ya know. Just a kid trying something new, but after a while it was getting too much.” Struggling to keep his voice even, he gives you a moment to internalize. “I thought if we kept dating and Rue and I kept being friends, she was only gon get worse. It wasn't my business to tell, so I ain't tell you and just stopped talkin’ to you.” He pauses and regains control of his emotion.“I’m sorry.”

It was an odd relief, having the answers you were once desperate for. You could see partially where Fezco was coming from, but he definitely could have done things differently. Ultimately, him distancing himself from you and Rue didn't stop her addiction and eventual overdose.

You came home with a sense of hope you hadn't had in a long time. Not just for you and Fezco or even you and Ash, but for you and Rue. This of course didn't last very long because the next time you went to Fezco’s house you and your sister very caught in the middle of a hostile drug deal. You had no way of knowing if Rue took the drugs from Mouse by choice, but in your delirious state you could still tell that she was enjoying being high far more than you were. Regardless of the situation, the two of you were just in. It made you wonder how committed Rue really was to her sobriety and how willing she was to accept danger if it meant she could be high.

Next chapter ;)

All chapters :)

[skinnyducky]

monsters (pt. 2 to maneater) // v.h.

This part went through so many changes. At one point, it was a backstory and at another it was a twilight fanfic. But I think this is where it should’ve went. Besides that, this is very much inspired by Supernatural and Teen Wolf and those sorts of shows. So, hope you enjoy!

link to part 1

Word Count: 1942, slightly edited

WARNING: language, sexual themes, mentions of blood/gore, partying, and supernatural creatures :)

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Your eyes shot open and sweat trickled down from your forehead. Your chest heaved up and down as you felt around, the feeling of rough leather coming in contact with your palm. Your sight became clear, and you were relieved to find yourself still in Vinnie’s car. You didn’t know what the hell that was about, but you knew something wasn’t right.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Your boyfriend, Vinnie, asked. He kept his attention on the road, shooting a few worried glances your way. “You look like you just had a nightmare.”

You leaned back in the passenger seat and gazed out the window. “No, no…it wasn’t that. This felt real, like I was actually living it, y’know?”

“What was it then? Was it a vision?”

“I think so,” you sighed, reaching for your water. “It was hard to tell. It was weird.”

Vinnie softly chuckled. “Well, I wouldn’t expect your visions to be normal. What was this one about?”

“You.”

“Me?”

You nodded. “You, and me. We were going into a room and-“

“I think I know where this is headed, Y/n.”

“No, it wasn’t one of those dreams.” You replied. “I was some sort of monster, and I was about to eat you.”

With furrowed eyebrows, Vinnie quickly pulled over and turned to you.

“Why’d you stop?” You asked.

“You know why I stopped, Y/n. You just had a vision, an important one at that.”

You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes at him. Your visions—or “gift” as Vinnie likes to call it—was something that came in handy in your line of work. Being hunters for the supernatural, your visions aided the two of you in finding clues and the whereabouts of monsters or entities. But unlike those visions, this one was different. Never have you been the leading actress in your visions, let alone have Vinnie guest star. That’s why you weren’t taking this as serious as he was.

“You know how they work, Vin. I don’t have visions with me in them. I haven’t even had a vision with you in it.”

Vinnie sighed, “Remember what your grandmother told to you?”

“Yeah, that I’m different from most psychics.”

“And your visions don’t just let you see things before they happen. They actually let you live through the people within them.”

You sat there confused, trying to figure out what he was trying to get at. “I’m having trouble understanding. Are you saying that I can sometimes live through others in my visions?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“If that’s the case, why were you in it? You’ve never been in them.”

He shrugged, starting the car back up. “Maybe it’s a sign or something. Maybe the person you were living through had an emotional connection with whoever they attacked. Just like you and me.”

“They didn’t though. It was at a party, and they didn’t know each other. Whoever the woman was lured her prey in.”

He paused. “Did you say it was at a party?”

“Yeah. I don’t know who’s party though. Just that whoever’s party it was, you…or the guy…was very unhappy about being there.”

You heard Vinnie gulp before he did a hard U-turn and sped down the road. You clung to your seat, fearing that this may be the end of your life. “What’s wrong, Vinnie?” You asked, gripping onto your seatbelt tightly.

“Jett.”

“I don’t understand. What about Jett?”

“Jett’s at that party, Y/n. He texted me an hour ago saying that some of the boys dragged him out and he’s bored out of his mind. Y/n, he’s me. Well, not me, but the guy you saw in your vision.”

“That makes sense.” You responded, chewing on your bottom lip. “If Jett’s in trouble, then we have to save him.”

“I’m already two steps ahead of you.”

It didn’t take you that long to figure out that the party was none other than at the D’Amelios’ house. It was a single release for Dixie, and she was throwing a huge party in celebration. Obviously, due to your work you and Vinnie couldn’t make it. But, given the situation…you wished you had shown up earlier.

“So, what do you think we’re dealing with?” You asked, following Vinnie in the house.

“You said she lured him in so…possibly a siren?”

You shook your head. “She didn’t sing to him, though. It was a look.”

“Gorgon maybe?”

“Why would a monster eat a statue?”

“I don’t know? For minerals?”

You ignored his statement and looked around for any sign of your friend. “If not a siren, and definitely not a gorgon…then maybe it’s-“

“A succubus.” Vinnie interrupted. “Look, we need to split up and try and find Jett before he becomes Jett à la carte. You check in the main room, and I’ll check the kitchen and the bathrooms.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You muttered, fiddling with your thumbs.

“Why not? We’d find the two of them faster that way.”                                                

“We’ve only dealt with one succubus before, and that one alone was a bitch. This one can’t be any different. We need to be cautious.” You huffed, crossing your arms.

“Y/n, we can’t play it safe this time! Our friend’s life is on the line!”

“And I understand that, but if we go into this gung-ho…then we’re more likely to scare her away and lead her to some other poor guy. I know Jett’s life is at stake here, but so is a bunch of other peoples.”

At that moment, a scream rang out through in the crowd and the music came to an abrupt stop. You gasped, dropping to your knees and covering your throbbing ears. Vinnie fell next to you, wrapping his arms around you.

“That wasn’t just your average scream was it?” Vinnie asked.

You kept your hands on your ears. “That was a banshee. While her screams are normal to a human…”

“…for the supernatural, it causes pain.” Vinnie finished.

You nodded, steadily getting back on your feet. everyone stopped dancing and mingling, trying to figure out what the hell happened.

“Jett’s not dead yet, is he? You know, with banshees being walking Geiger counters for death and whatnot.”

“No, Jett’s not dead. Don’t you remember? When banshees scream, it means that someone is about to die, not that they have already passed. It’s a prediction, just like my visions.” You explained.

The two of you saw a wailing Charli being carried out of the room by Noah and Chase. You raised an eyebrow and said, “Would you look at that. I think we found our banshee. Now where’s our succubus?”

You scanned the crowd, finding no sign of anyone feeling the effects of Charli’s scream. The succubus wasn’t there. You then remembered the two leaning up against walls, but surprisingly, there was no one clinging to them. Then, you looked to the stairs where you saw a familiar brunet making his way up them. There was no doubt it was Jett and judging by his state, the demon had him right where she wanted him.

You tapped Vinnie’s shoulder, gaining his attention. “They’re headed upstairs…just like in my vision. Ugh, why didn’t we think to go up there first?”

“It’s fine, Y/n. As long as we know where he is, we can get to him in time.”

Just as you two were about to embark on your quest to save Jett, the music resumed, and a herd of people got back on the dancefloor. You and Vinnie tried your best to push through the sweaty bodies, but it proved to be much more difficult.

“C’mon idiots, move out of the way!” Vinnie yelled, on the verge of decking people in the face. You on the other hand, had a sweeter disposition, nicely excusing yourself. After some time, you had finally got to the stairs and flew up them. Reaching the top, you both were met with no Jett and no succubus. There was, however, an elongated hallway with many doors.

Vinnie groaned, lacing his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Great, we lost them.”

“Maybe not.”

You closed your eyes and tried to remember your vision as vividly as you could. You steadily breathed in and out as it began to replay in your head. In seconds, your eyes shot open revealing nothing but ghostly white orbs. You stepped to the first door on the right. The minute your hand touched the handle, you were back to normal.

“It’s this one!” you spat, bursting through the door.

You and Vinnie ran inside, finding an unconscious Jett on the floor. Vinnie hurried to your shared friend and checked to make sure he was alright. You searched around the room in search of the demon to no avail.

In the midst of walking back over to Vinnie and Jett, you felt some light hit your shoulder. After feeling the spot, you took a look at your finger, seeing it painted with blood. Your breath hitched as you slowly looked up. There the succubus sat, hanging from the wall with a sick grin on her face and blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. She roared and dropped from the ceiling, falling on top of you.

“Vinnie!” You screamed, wrestling on the floor with the demon. Vinnie’s attention shot over to you and without hesitation, he charged at the succubus, punching the beast dead square in it’s jaw. She fell off of you and Vinnie took this chance to straddle her.

“Keep her steady, Y/n!” Vinnie ordered, reaching into his jacket pocket. You did as he said, planting your hands on the demon’s wrist, keeping her from moving too much. She flailed around, speaking in tongues and shouting out profanities.

Finally finding it, Vinnie pulled out his father’s bestiary. As he flipped through the pages, the succubus stopped moving and stared daggers at you.

“I know about you,” she cackled, “Y/n, the youngest psychic of your family.”

“Don’t listen to her, Y/n!” warned Vinnie.

You ignored his warning and responded to the demon. “You don’t know nothing about me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Down in hell, we know all about you. And we can’t wait for you to join us and your whore of a mother.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, not from fear…but from rage. You looked to Vinnie, watching as he stopped on a page. He glanced up at you. “You ready?”

“Kill the bitch.”

Vinnie read off a vanquishing spell and upon doing so, the succubus began to cry out in agony. You struggled to contain her but after a few minutes, she stopped squirming. Her cries silenced as her body dissolved into boiling liquid, creating an acid pool of flesh and blood.

You let out a breath of relief. “Well, that was easier than the one in Devil’s Kettle.”

“That’s because we were amateurs then.” Vinnie replied as he stood up, bringing you with him.

You smiled, patting him on the back. “I gotta give you props on that punch. It was actually kind of hot.”

“No one can do it like me.”

“Don’t let my compliment go to your head.”

He pouted and then turned to a frightened Jett. “You okay, buddy?”

Jett softly nodded, shooting the two of you a shaky thumbs up. “N-Never better. How’d you know I was in trouble?”

Vinnie pointed over at you. “Visions. Only, she didn’t actually see you. She saw me.”

“O-Oh,” Jett said. “I guess, t-that’s cool. Thank you, Y/n.”

“You’re welcome.” You laughed, turning to Vinnie. “We did good, babe.”

“We sure did. All in a day’s work.”

“And onto the next adventure.”

[milkyymoons]

Honey Tea | 01 Yandere!Jungkook

pairing: yandere!jungkook x reader (f)

genre: yandere, angst, mentions of mental health, future smut, manipulation, 

Parts: 01 | 02.

summary: You're delighted to find the perfect caregiver for your ill grandmother but are soon to find out his intentions are far from pure.

Your eyes were glued on the clock that hung on the brown tinted wall, nervously biting your lip. You really hadn’t liked the idea of having to even hire a caregiver for your grandmother to begin with but you weren’t left with much of a choice. Finding a job was hard to begin with, not only due to the fact that living in such a small town made the options limited but your lack of job experience didn’t make it any easier. Your anxiety disorder had only gotten worse over the years, interfering with your daily activities and made things such as simple trips to the grocery store a living nightmare.

However,  you couldn’t let your anxiety control your life any longer. You knew it was finally time to take some actual responsibility and do what was best for your grandmother. She had taken care of you and raised you all your life up until now, she was tired and  her heart condition wasn’t going to get any better. It was up to you to take care of her now, she was all you had left.

While your grandmother was decently well off and had insisted you didn’t need to get a job, you had refused. Medical expenses were not getting any cheaper and while the job you managed to land at the old bookstore down the street wasn’t much, it would surely help some bit. Besides, you were hoping it would help better your anxiety, being stuck inside the house all day surely wasn’t helping your intrusive thoughts.

Now the only issue was having to leave your grandmother home alone for so long, she had insisted she would be fine but you knew better. At her age, the amount of things that could go wrong would just race through your head nonstop.

The sudden knock on the door made you jump, you lifted  yourself off the soft leather coach and rushed down the small hallway of your home. You took a deep breath, not even bothering to check the peep hole in your rushed state and swung the door open, the chilly air instantly hit your face.

The guy in front of you looked exactly like his profile on the caregiver website, his tall frame towered over you and his large dark eyes quickly took you in. His dark hair falling below his ears and he gave you a friendly smile. He wasn’t much older than you according to his age on the website but his face held a childlike look to it, his handsome features were even more intimidating in person.

“Hello, you’re Y/n right?” He questioned, his voice smooth. The way his eyes scanned over your face almost made you want to hide.

“U-uh, yeah. You’re Jungkook right?” You asked, cringing at how awkward you sounded already. He nodded and you stepped aside, signaling him to come in.

“Sorry, my grandma is still sleeping, she should be waking up any minute.” You explained as you walked down hallway and he followed closely behind you. You guided him to the kitchen, offering him to take a seat at the table which he gladly accepted. You suddenly felt anxious all over again with his gaze on you.

“That’s okay, I’ll giver her the medications when she wakes up.” He smiled at you and his eyes darted around the kitchen, seeming to take everything in.

“Right, I left them on the counter for you and I texted you the details in case you forget. She takes her blood pressure and heart medication first thing every morning , her stomach is a bit sensitive so I’d prefer she ate something before she takes the-“ You rambled, pacing around the kitchen.

“Y/n” Jungkook cuts you off, his tone gentle. “Don’t worry, I know what to do. I’ll make sure to make her some breakfast.”  

You nodded your head in embarrassment but his words brought you comfort. You knew you were worrying over nothing , he had some of the best reviews on the website and obviously seemed to know how to care of elderly people way more than you ever would.

“Sorry, I’ve just never left her alone with anyone.” You admitted, sitting down on the empty the seat right across from him.

“I see, is she your only family?” He asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

“Yeah, my parents died in a car accident when I was little so my grandma practically raised me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” He gave you a pitying look and reached over to take your hand in his. You were a bit taken aback by the sudden action but he didn’t look phased in the slightest.

“You seem like a caring girl, many young people like you wouldn’t think twice in sending off their grandparents to a retirement home.” He said, his eyes boring into yours. He seemed genuinely in awe.

“I could never, she’s all I have.” You didn’t even want to imagine a world without your grandmother , despite knowing the reality of her old age and health conditions. Not to mention, the idea of sending her off to one of those facilities just seemed cruel to you, you didn’t have the heart to even consider it.

Jungkook watched you, you were indeed more beautiful in person. The blurry profile picture in the website didn’t even come close to doing you justice. He could tell how much you cared about your grandmother, it was obvious even through the messages you had sent him when you first selected him for the job. He could tell you were an anxious person just by looking at you. The way you had seemed like a deer caught in headlights when you first opened the door, your smaller frame cowering behind it. It was obvious even in the way you sat now, your leg bouncing beneath the table and your eyes refusing to make direct eye contact with him ever since he had arrived.

He found it all endearing.

“I-I better get going! It’s my first day and I don’t want to be late.” You said, suddenly remembering what time it was, the last thing you needed was to make a horrible first impression the first day at your job.

“First day? No wonder you seemed so nervous.” Jungkook teased, his hand slipping from yours as you got up.

“Yeah, well more like first ever real job so it’s even worse.” You let out a small shaky laugh, walking over to grab your bag from the counter.

“It’s your first job? How exciting.” He beamed, eyes seeming to follow your every action.

“Well, it’s a bookstore so probably not that exciting.” You mumbled as you tugged at the ends of your dress anxiously. Jungkook lips quirked up at your scattered movements, not ignoring the way the dress hugged your curves.

“Please make sure to text me if you need anything. The fridge is full and my grandma usually likes oatmeal in the morning, feel free to help yourself when you get hungry too!” You said, pointing towards different areas in the kitchen.

“ The bathroom is down the hall too and oh! I completely forgot to give you a tour of the house!” You groaned , realizing your dumb mistake. You had not even properly told the guy how to direct himself throughout the house.

Jungkook chuckled , standing back up and he making his way past you.

“Relax, I’ll be fine. The  house isn’t that big, I can find my way around it.” He assured you, observing your grandmothers medication bottles that sat on the counter.

You nodded and starting making your way out the kitchen.

“Y/n.” Jungkook called and you halted, turning back to face him. He gave you a warm smile, eyes trailing over your exposed shoulders that the thin straps of your sundress failed to hide. “ It’s quite chilly outside, you should wear a jacket .”

“Oh, right. Thank you!” His comment only confirmed how fitting he seemed for the job of a caregiver, you found it cute. You quickly grabbed the cardigan laying on the couch on your way out and rushed outside.

—-

To your surprise, the first day at your new job had gone quite smoothly. It wasn’t nearly as nerve-wracking as you had thought but it mainly had to do with you not having to interact with anyone much. You had spent your day stacking and reorganizing books, you were glad your boss hadn’t put you as the cashier. The old man insisted for you to stay in the back, probably noticing how anxious you had seemed in the job interview and not wanting to risk you embarrassing yourself with customers. You were grateful for that in a way, if your job continued like this then you were sure you could do it.

“Grandma?” You called out as you stepped inside the house, your shoes padding against the wooden floors. You let your bag drop on the ground as you walked down the hallway. You heard faint laughter near you, seeming to come from the living room. You turned and saw your grandma seated on her rocking chair, happily chatting with Jungkook who was seated on the coach beside her.

“Y/n! You’re home, my dear. “ Your grandmother gushed when she saw you, a smile forming on her wrinkled face. You walked over to her, giving her a tight hug.

“You didn’t tell me such a handsome young man was going to be the one to wake me up this morning.” Your grandmother stated and your face heated up at her words.

“Grandma!”

Jungkook chuckled, his smile reminded you of a bunny in a way.

“I’m assuming things went well?” You asked, face still hot.

“Perfect, your grandmother is a joy to be around.” Jungkook confirmed, glancing at your grandmother. “ I think she’s the easiest person I’ve had to look after.”

You sighed in relief, overjoyed that there hadn’t been any issues and everything seemed perfectly fine.

“Jungkook made some delicious oatmeal, I didn’t know these caregivers were such good cooks. “ Your grandmother added and you giggled.

“I gave her all her medications and she should be good to go to bed soon.” Jungkook said, standing up .

“How was your first day at work, my dear?” Your grandmother asked and you felt Jungkook’s heavy gaze on you.

“Good , I think. I mean it was better than I expected.“

“You know you don’t have to force yourself too much.” Your grandmother insisted, worry lacing her tone but you shook your head.

“I promise I’m not.”

“Your grandmother said you are a bit of anxious person?” Jungkook mentioned, tilting his head in a questioning manner.

You glanced at your grandma, wondering how much exactly she had told Jungkook.

“I told him how much you struggle with your anxiety and socializing with people. “ She sighed, resting her hands on her lap. “ You know how much I worried about you getting a job. I want you to put your health first.”

“Grandma, I’m fine. This job is helping me.” You insisted, not being able to help the annoyance in your tone. You felt a bit awkward now that Jungkook knew about your mental health conditions. It seemed too invasive.

“Your grandma is just trying to look after you, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Jungkook’s tone was sincere as he stared down at you, noticing the change in mood you took.

He wondered how you would react to him knowing much more than just the surfaced level information your grandmother had provided for him. It wasn’t hard to get her to talk about you, it was all she ever did seem to talk about and Jungkook couldn’t be happier at that. It made it easier to get to know you despite him not being able to be near you all day. Your grandmother served as an immediate resource. Although, not much of what she had said was surprising, he had figured the type of person you were at first glance, her words only serving as confirmation.

—

As weeks passed , Jungkook became more and more involved in your home life and his presence became so familiar to you, almost as if he had always been part of you and your grandmother’s life. He was here everyday first thing in the morning until late in the afternoon, sometimes even staying for dinner. Even on the weekdays, he managed to stop by for a bit and check up on your grandmother. You couldn’t believe it at first, that you managed to find such a perfect caregiver.

“Y/n!” Jungkook called out from the kitchen as you adjusted the scarf around your neck.

“One sec!” You said, rushing out and making your way towards the kitchen, you were met by a plate of stacked pancakes, scrambled eggs and chopped up fruit on the table.

“Don’t forget to eat before you leave.“ Jungkook stated, fussing over you to take a seat. It had become a habit of his to serve you breakfast each day before you left to work, insisting that it was bad for your health to leave on an empty stomach.

“You really don’t have to do this, Jungkook. You already do so much for my grandma.” You smiled, hesitantly taking a seat and taking a bite out of the delicious pancakes. Your grandmother really wasn’t lying when she said he was an amazing cook.

“Of course I do, besides I have extra time before your grandmother wakes up. “ He pushed a glass of orange juice towards you that you happily accepted.

“You seem a bit sickly lately, are you getting enough sleep? “ Jungkook questioned as he took a seat beside you. You had been more tired than usual lately but you figured it was because of your job. Although it wasn’t that physically demanding, you were sure it was your body getting accustomed to not sitting at home all day for once.

“Probably just tired from work.” You replied as you took another sip of your orange juice. Jungkook eyed you, taking in how shaky your hands seemed as you tilted the glass over your lips.

He didn’t like you working. He didn’t like seeing you do any type of labor, no matter how small. You should be treated like a princess, with so much care and not having to lift a finger for anything. He didn’t like the fact that you were away for such long hours, not knowing what type of trouble you were in or what you were up to. Fortunately, that would come to an end soon.

“I’d prefer if you actually finished your food this time. “ He said, his tone a bit more firm this time. You almost giggled at his serious expression.

“You take this caregiving job really seriously.” You commented as took another bite of the food. “ I’m sure my grandmother feels spoiled.”

“Hm, I’m sure she does. I try my best to.” Jungkook hoped you were the one that felt spoiled. He took great pleasure in seeing you happy, making sure he had all your needs met. He had took time finding out what your favorite foods, shows, and hobbies were. Anything related to you, he had become obsessed with knowing.

“I need to pick up my grandma’s prescriptions today so I may be home a bit later.” You added in between chews.

“No need, I picked them up already before coming here.” Jungkook smirked, and you sighed.

“You really were born for this job.” You mumble.

—

Jungkook sat on his bed, his eyes glued to his phone screen. The tiny camera he had hidden inside your room was at a perfectly angle from your bed. Placed inside one of the eye sockets of your many stuffed animals, he had found your collection of them cute. He watched as you emerged from your bathroom, eyes following the tightly wrapped towel around your body. Your skin still damp from the shower as you reached over your dresser for the lotion bottle. He swallowed heavily as he watched your towel drop on the floor, exposing your bare body. His eyes hungrily took in every curve, from your breasts down to your core.

You were ethereal, no matter how much he had tried to handle his needs by fucking other women , he was never satisfied. They weren’t you, and they would never would be. He almost felt as if he was betraying every time he had went to bed with another women. He was disgusted with himself for even giving in, promising himself he would never seek the pleasure of another women. You were his only muse, the only person he wanted. You were going to be together forever.

He watched as you spread lotion over your legs, massaging them. The tightening in his pants only worsened and despite how much he tried to control himself, he let his hand tug his pants down and closed his eyes.

—

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, she’s been sleeping a lot lately. “ You chewed on your bottom lip worriedly.

Your grandmother had been more lethargic than usual, you knew her old age made her sleep a lot most days but still, her sudden change in behavior was odd to you. Your grandmother was usually a chatty old lady and now she barely had the energy to hold a full conversation with you.

Jungkook listened intently, having his back turned to you as he prepared you some tea. He lifted the kettle and poured  the hot water over the tea bag, adding a bit of extra honey knowing you had a sweet tooth. He didn’t want you this anxious all night.

Especially not tonight.

“ You have to understand your grandmother is at a very delicate age now,” He began to explain. “ She’s tired and doesn’t have much energy for anything.”

You knew what he was implying but you didn’t want to accept it. You shook your head at just the mere thought.

“What if it’s because of me?” You wondered as he took a seat across from you and handed you over the mug. You thanked him and took a sip, the hot liquid soothing your throat.

“Bab-“ Jungkook stopped himself, not letting the nickname fall from his lips.

“You can’t blame yourself for these things. None of this is your fault.” He stated with a more serious tone, staring so intensely at you that you almost believed him.

“B-but what if it is? I mean, I don’t even spend that much time with her anymore. “ You reasoned. “Maybe she’s depressed.”

“You overthink too much,” He replied, watching as you took another sip of the tea. “ She seems happy all the time, you can’t expect her to be the same as a few years ago, it’s just the age.”

You sighed, nodding slowly at his words. You knew deep down he was right, your grandmother was just reaching a certain age that didn’t let her have much energy for much. However, that made you even more guilty having to go to work and just leaving her. Of course, you knew Jungkook took amazing care of her and she loved him, always gushing about how attentive he was. But that didn’t stop the guilt washing over you.

“I’m gonna go give her a good night kiss. “ You whispered, setting the mug down. Jungkook watched you until you disappeared from his view, rushing down the hallway.

You came into your grandmother’s room, turning on the lamp on her nightstand. She looked so peacefully asleep, you almost regretted coming inside in fear of waking her up. You made your way over to her bed, crouching down a bit to her level as you pulled back her covers a bit.

“Love you, grandma. Good night.” You whispered, pressing your lips to her cheek. Her skin was so ice cold that it made you flinch back.

You frowned, eyes scanning over body.

“Grandma?” You asked, shaking her shoulder a bit. No movement.

“Grandma?” You repeated, this time more panicked. You felt your heart drop as you continued to shake her more and no response came. She didn’t seem to be breathing.

“Jungkook!” You yelled as you stood up, fully taking the covers off her.

“Jungkook! Somethings wrong!” You yelled again, frantically running out of your grandmother’s room in search for the caregiver. You hurried down the long hallway, feeling your heart rapidly beat in your chest.

“Jungkook!” You found him sitting in the same spot you left him, he slowly turned his head towards you when he saw you enter the kitchen. “ Please call an ambulance! My grandma is not moving!”

“Y/n, calm down.” He said, slowly standing up from his seat. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at his calm and nonchalant behavior.

“What!? How am I supposed to calm down? She’s not breathing!” You screamed at him, running past him in search of your bag.

“Where’s my phone!?” You dumped all the stuff out of your bag on the table, frantically searching for your phone.

Jungkook watched you silently , slowly circling the table. He took a quick glance at the clock that hung on the wall.

“Why are you just standing there!” You whipped your head back at him, angry tears already forming in your eyes.

“Do something! Go find hel-“ The wave of dizziness that took over your body made you shut your mouth. You stumbled back a bit, feeling a pair of arms hold you up.

The floor seemed to be spinning beneath you. You scrunched up your face in confusion. What the hell was happening?

“Shh, it’s okay baby.” You heard Jungkook whisper , his hot breath on your ear. Your heart continued to beat rapidly in your chest as your vision became more disoriented.

“W-whats going on?” You mumbled, feeling a heaviness take over you. Your legs felt weak, almost giving out beneath you as the arms around your body tightened.

“Everything is okay, baby. “ Jungkook hushed, arms holding you down.

“Just sleep.”

The tea. Your body chilled in realization.

“M-my grandma.” You attempted to free yourself from his grip, pathetically throwing punches against his chest. He almost found your attempts humorous.

He looked down at you in pity.

“Your grandmother was just an another obstacle between us, she’s in a much better place now.” His words made you freeze, your mind not knowing how to process what he had just said. You shook your head rapidly.

“No, no.” You let out choked sob, this wasn’t happening . None of this was happening.

“What did you do to her?!” Angry tears stained your cheeks, this had to be a nightmare. This couldn’t be real. Jungkook could never do that, this had to be some sick joke.

“What did you! Let me go!” You demanded but the weakness in your body only seemed to get stronger, your own body was betraying you right now as Jungkook continued to carry you down the hallway.

“Baby, you need to calm down.” Jungkook repeated as you continued to fight against his grip, he knew you wouldn’t last much longer. “ You’re going to hurt yourself. “

“P-please, let me go.” You cried, your vision blurry now. Everything seemed to spin, slowly fading away into darkness, your body falling limply against his.

“That’s it, fall asleep.” Jungkook pressed his lips against the side of your forehead. His princess was finally his.

“Everything is going to be okay, baby.” He smiled down at you, brushing your hair out of your wet face. “We’re finally going to be together.”

[artnigth]

Migraines

So...I started reading a LOT of Psychic Dion headcanons and decided that I would really like to write my own fanfic based on some so here is part 1. (might post part 2 tomorrow, maybe)

MIGRAINES: The whispers wouldn't stop, no matter how many ways Dion would try to block them. He locked himself in the bathroom to block everyone else out, he stretched to ‘release’ pressure, he even stole his parents ear plugs but nothing was working. His head felt like he was about to explode. At the moment he was sitting at the back of the Aquatodome praying for the voices to go away. “Dion! Dude where are you?!”- Gisu´s voice broke the whispers just for them to continue not long after. “shit…”- he whispered to himself once he remembered that he had called her to hang out that day in the morning, when the voices weren't as bad. He couldn’t just tell her to go away, but if he went with her he would definitely do something stupid. His only option was to run. When her steps were getting closer to his location he bolted to the forest and in a matter of minutes he was… lost very lost. The voices were still there though, so not much change in that area. He never thought he would be in that position. Lost in the middle of the woods, running away from a girl and with… mysterious voices that wouldn’t leave him alone. As he kept walking forward into the woods the despair began to creep into his mind. He couldn’t do this every time this happened, specially since it had started happening much more often than before. It was starting to scare him. Ever since his brother had ran away from home two months ago and joined the Psychonauts his mind was never at ease. Remembering the morning Mirtala found the note he left on his pillow made his blood boil and made him feel like if a bucket of cold water was dumped on his head, all over again. These past two months had been a nightmare, his father was suddenly perfectly fine with psychics, even supporting his brother and dragging the rest of the family down here with him. The revelation that their grandmother was a mass murderer and that the curse that had haunted him for his whole life was a complete lie, didn’t help. Whenever his parents, siblings or anyone he knew tried to discuss the subject he would panic and avoid the subject as much as he could, that topic reminded him of too many poor decisions he had made in the past, too many lost opportunities, of too many mistakes. The only two good things that had come from this situation was being able to take a break from the constant traveling his family had gone through ever since he could remember. And meeting Gisu, that girl was the only friend he could remember having for more than a single month. She even tried to introduce him to the other interns, but he only truly felt comfortable talking with her alone. “Are you lost boy?” Dion jumped at the old voice that had appeared behind him. A high pitch squeal escaping from his lungs. At his back was Ford Cruller, old member of the Psychic Six, and for him a family destroyer. Rage filled his system, the whispers became silent for a single second but no relief came to Dion. “What do you want, Cruller?”- his voice being deeper tan what he expected, not that he minded. “I just wanted to see if you were lost, considering you were wandering aimlessly in the Forgetful Forest.”- his voice was soft and calm, a little different from the chaotic voice Raz said he had. “Yeah, I’m perfectly fine. I just wanted to take a hike.”- annoyance reflecting in his voice, he didn’t want to talk to anybody, let alone him. “Are you sure? You seem pretty shaken about something and- “WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PAL?!”- Dion started screaming in the middle of the woods. All of the pain of those two months just came out of his lungs, it surprised him, but he was too altered and emotional to care or mind his tone. “Hey… I get it you’re not to happy that I was the one who found you but you need to calm down. You’re gonna break something on your mind.”- his tone a little cocerned, but he was still calm and collected. That just infuriated Dion more. “OH, MY MIND?! ARE YOU GONNA TRY TO IMPLANT FAKE MEMORIES FROM A DIFFERENT LIFE ON ME TOO?!” “I never said that… are you sure you don’t need help? I feel like there´s something under all of this?” “LIKE UNDER ALL OF MY FAMILY’S FEAR AND HARDSHIP WAS YOU BEING… BEING… being… SOMETHING, A FUCKING LIAR!!”- Dions face was red, his ears were ringing and his head felt like it was gonna explode any minute now. The whispers became much more violent and loud. His thoughts were muted by the voices and the noises around him, drowning him in a storm of chaos. “DO ME A FAVOR AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU, I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SEE YOU!! NONNA- LUCRECIA, MIGHT HAVE FORGIVEN YOU BUT WE SURE AS HELL HAVEN’T! SO LEAVE ME AND MY FAMILY ALONE!”- the voices were swarming, noises becoming a hurricane, Little rocks clicking as is being thrown to the ground, whispers slowly turning into screams. There was no going back. “I think I get what’s happening here, I can help you just need to go back to your family camp and I- Dion shuts his eyes and covers his ears with his hands, he couldn’t take it anymore. “JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE!!” The next noise heard by Dion were Ford Cruller’s screams. And then silence…

- END OF PART 1-

this is based on @razputin-archetype ‘s headcanons about Psychic Dion!

[supercorpkid]

A meeting with a Luthor.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader, Lillian Luthor x Granddaughter!Reader

Word count: 1650.

It’s becoming a thing. Seeing Lillian, you mean. It shouldn’t. It’s insane and weird and completely out of line, but still, a thing.

Like she knows exactly what you do, when you do it, and how you do it, the day when you don’t have anything planned -no dates, no L Corp, no training- she shows up at your school. This time she didn’t even leave the black car she was in, she just lowered the car window, and nodded at you. It didn’t even take convincing this time, just a nod, and you were in the car on the way to a restaurant.

“Grandmother.” You open the door and slide in.

“Granddaughter.” She tilts her head, and a little-tiny-really-small smile comes to her lips. “I was hoping you were having a free day so we could go have dinner together.”

“Dinner sounds great.” You agree, putting your backpack between your feet, and fasting your seatbelt. “I’m always down for food.”

“Of course you are.” She gives the driver directions, and out you go.

It’s a different restaurant this time. Fancier. You almost feel bad for being in your school T-shirt -like you had any other option- but Lillian waltzes in without a care for your appearance, and you follow, starting not to care too. If the Lillian Luthor doesn’t care about you walking in a fancy restaurant in your sneakers, it’s not you who are going to.

“I thought we could try some Greek food today.” She says, showing you the table, and you agree with your head.

It’s not like you never tried Greek food before. One of Lena’s favorite food is Moussaka, and somehow you think Lillian knows this, and somehow you think she brought you here, because she can’t exactly have Lena here with her without ending in a fight.

“Cool.” You sit on the table across from her. You let her order the food, she knows she has to order more food than if you were a normal teenager, so you don’t interfere. She is the one paying for it, anyway.

“Created something interesting lately?” Lillian asks, and as far as small talk goes, you rather she had started off with a lighter topic, but you shrug, sipping on your water.

“Haven’t been in the lab in a while.” You feel it in your bones when you say that. You haven’t been to L Corp in more than a month, which feels completely out of character for you.

“Oh, I hope you haven’t lost interest in science. You’re very good at that.” She says, and you look down, blushing in embarrassment. God, why do you always feel so flustered whenever Lillian throws a random compliment at you? “But I guess for a kid the superhero part is more exciting.”

“Um, no. I mean-” You think about it for a second. You’ve always wanted to go out and go supering with your momma, saving National City and feeling like you’re doing something good for the world. And honestly, when the world was at stake -not your world, but still- you went supering and it was fun. It was great, actually. But you’ve always liked science, robotics, and experiments a little more. Science was always there for you, even when you were terrible at controlling your powers, and even when your powers weren’t there at all. “I’m still interested, I just-I-Um-Have other stuff to focus now.”

And ‘other stuff’ herself, just walked into the restaurant with her parents right behind her. Maya looks at you, and you two lock eyes, while their parents talk to the host. Somehow your cheeks get even more flushed at the sight of her, and your heart skips a tiny beat. What are the odds?

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Actually, it wasn’t supposed to happen at all. The whole idea was to never ever in your life have Lillian Luthor, your girlfriend and -worst of all- your girlfriend-Luthor-hater’s parents in the same space. But somehow, here you are.

“Of course.” Lillian agrees, after following your eyes, and landing in the same place. “I see you’re still seeing the Rose girl.”

“Mhm.” You agree, looking back at the table. You sip on your water, just to have something to do.

“Should we invite them to dine with us?” She asks politely and you snap your head at her, at the sound of that.

“We should not. No. Rao, please, don’t.” You beg, shuffling in your chair uncomfortable. Lillian was never once the sociable type. Why the hell is she suggesting asking them to join you? It’s like… She knows. Oh. There’s a little tinkle in her eyes. A little too murdery for your liking. “Do you know them?”

“We have crossed paths before, yes.” She admits, with a little nod. “Mr. Rose is a very unsophisticated man, if I must say. A lawyer who fights only for himself. But I guess most of them do.”

“I don’t wanna hear this. It’s not my problem.” You say, a little too aggressive for your own liking, but apparently Lillian doesn’t care. She’s used to much worse.

“I would think it was, given they were so ungrateful after you saved their daughter’s life.”

“Well, they only know me as a Luthor, so-” You shrug. “Can’t really blame them for not liking me, can we?”

“I suppose not. The Luthor name has seen better days.” She sighs, and drops the subject as soon as the waiter comes in with the food. Lillian points at the Moussaka, with her head. “Lena used to like that.”

“She still does.” It’s the first thing you pick up, and her smile comes this time.

You finish eating, and while Lillian pays for dinner you make your way to the bathroom, before leaving the restaurant. You are not trying to listen to them, you really aren’t, but when you pick up Lillian’s voice saying ‘Mister Rose’, you can’t hear anything else anymore.

“Lillian Luthor.” It’s Mr. Rose’s voice. Oh no. This is bad. Too bad.

“Just thought I would introduce myself to your daughter.” Lillian says. “She is dating my granddaughter, after all.”

“Oh, I’m-Well-I-” Maya chokes on her words, and you feel bad you’re not there to protect her. Although you think if you were, it would probably be worse for her. “I’m Maya.”

“Yes, you are, dear.” Lillian says again, and you pray to Rao she’s going to walk out of there and leave all of them alone. “Mr. and Mrs. Rose, I hope the next time you meet my granddaughter you can be more respectful towards her, provided she didn’t exactly choose to be born a Luthor.”

“We know Luthors very well, they are born evil.” It’s Mrs. Rose’s voice that you hear now.

“I would’ve believed so. But that girl doesn’t exactly meet these criteria. So, I would appreciate you having a little bit more care about what you say to her and how you treat her.”

“Is that-Is that a threat, Mrs. Luthor?” Mr. Rose tries to pretend he is unaffected, but you hear his heart almost beating out of his chest.

“Please, don’t be ridiculous Roger.” Lillian adds a little scoff to his name. “We both know that if I was threatening you, you wouldn’t have to ask me that.”

Oh Rao, no. That was a threat.

“Please, enjoy your dinner.” She adds a little later. “It was nice meeting you, Maya.”

Nothing more is said, and you suspect she has finally stepped away from their table. That’s when you leave the bathroom, though you have finished your business long ago. You make your way out of the restaurant, to meet Lilian there, waiting for you. You both slide back in the car in silence.

“Should I add Greek food to your list of favorite foods?” Lillian asks, like she actually has a list of your favorite foods. You know what? She might as well have a whole list of your favorite things.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” You look at her. She initially looks confused, but then it sinks in. “Did you forget I have super hearing?”

“I have to admit, yes.” Lillian confesses, pressing her lips together.

“You threatened them.”

“I did no such thing.” She defends herself and you roll your eyes. Both to the lie, and to the phrase you have heard Lena saying so many times. How annoying it is finding resemblance between them.

“Saying that you are not threatening someone is the definition of a threat. You of all people should know that. I would’ve thought you have threatened several people in your life.”

“Well, my threats never sound like that. So you have nothing to worry about.” She looks to the front, like she doesn’t want to talk about that anymore, but still adds. “Should anything happen to them, I guarantee you, it was not my doing.”

“So, you promise?” You ask and she turns her face to you again. You lift your little finger in front of your face, and she sighs.

“This is a childish pact.”

“It’s an oath, nonetheless.” You don’t move. She stares at your little finger and breathes heavily. It takes her a few seconds, and reluctantly she intertwines her little finger with yours.

“Then, I promise.”

You smile looking at Lillian’s finger intertwined with yours. What are the odds, right? You feel the car stopping, and you unattach your fingers, looking at your house behind you. You unfasten your seatbelt, pick up your backpack, and leave the car. Before closing the door, you look at her, still inside.

“You can add Japanese food to my list of favorites.”

“I know a fine Japanese restaurant.” She says, almost to herself, like something she should remember, a plan.

“We should go there next time.” You smile and salute her off. “Grandmother.”

Lillian smiles a little, and tilts her head at you. “Granddaughter.”

Notes:

Thanks @adeledewittj for this prompt, I love writing Lillian.

[queenshelby]

Time for Change – Part Five

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut

Words: 3,388

Notes: Not based on Cillian’s life. This is fiction guys! 

The week following your night at the Westin with Cillian, you and Cillian caught up again, this time at a different hotel and without spending the entirety of the night together so that you wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

Then, the weekend after that, it was his birthday party and you and James were invited over to his and Danielle’s house to celebrate.

Chloe stayed with her grandmother and you were keen to see Cillian again. At the same time, you were nervous. It was the first time you were going to be around Danielle after you slept with Cillian and it certainly didn’t help that, despite your sense of clarity around everything, you were developing feelings for your brother-in-law.

The text messages between you and Cillian had become constant and not just sexual in nature. He called you daily when he could and you even met up on occasion, sometimes at the park when you both went for a run or sometimes at the local bookstore.

He was different to James. He had always been kind and you were interested in the same things. Occasionally, you would still teach the piano to his kids and he made sure that, every time you came over, Danielle wasn’t home.

When there was a chance, you kissed and held hands. You got to know him, even to the point where, when James bought Cillian a birthday present, you rolled your eyes, thinking that it was unsuitable.

‘He does not drink spirits James. Just shelf it and I will go to the bookstore and get something else for him, yeah?’ you chuckled and James looked at you somewhat confused.

‘You seem to know him well, your brother-in-law. I could almost be led to believe that you have a little crush on him’ James said, raising an eyebrow.

‘I ran into him a few times at the book store so I have an idea what he likes James. That’s all’ you explained, cheeks flushing.

‘Relax Y/N, I was just joking. I was thinking though, you know how Cillian had spoken about his holiday house down south the other time?’ James asked.

‘Yes, what about it?’ you asked.

‘Well, perhaps we can ask him for the key and get away for a weekend, just you and me. This might get you in the mood for some sexy time for a change’ James said, causing you to sigh.

‘James, we talked about this. I am just going through a few things’ you explained, not wanting to be with James in any intimate way knowing the big secret he was keeping from you.

‘It’s still about my affairs, isn’t it? You know, if you would have been more attentive as a wife and less occupied with Chloe’s needs and your job, I wouldn’t have had to cheat on you’ James said angrily, making it out to be your fault.

‘So, it’s my fault you fucked your secretary and knocked her up?’ you asked angrily.

‘How did you know?’ James wondered.

‘I just do James. It’s for another time to discuss. Not today. Today, I will pretend to be a happy wife and we will go to my step sister’s house for the party. Then tomorrow, we will talk about what we are going to do moving forward’ you suggested.

‘You know, this is all your fault Y/N. At least Laura gave me a child which is something you were incapable of doing. You didn’t want to fucking try going through IVF’ James then shouted angrily.

‘Because we didn’t have the money, James! And money is what keeps you here now, by my side, isn’t it? You don’t want to pay support for Chloe and me and you don’t want to miss out on my inheritance. Is that it? Because if you leave me, you don’t get anything’ you yelled at him as, suddenly, you had to reach for the corner of the kitchen bench as a wave of nausea washed through your body.

‘Chloe isn’t my daughter, nor is she yours. I have a daughter now and you can’t have children, which is probably for the better because, obviously, you are delusional and self-centred, blaming me for what happened instead of yourself’ James yelled, holding onto your shirt tightly and angrily.

‘Oh, I am self-centred?’ you barely managed to say before pushing his hand away and making your way to the downstairs bathroom rather quickly.

As soon as you walked through the door, you dropped to the floor and leaned over the toilet.

‘Jesus Christ’ you huffed as another bound of nausea overcame you and you emptied your breakfast into the toilet.

Just as you were in the bathroom, you heard the front door of the house close shut and you realised that James had left, which was probably for the better.

‘This fucking sushi place’ you growled to yourself, regretting your takeaway choice for the previous night before quickly brushing your teeth and making your way to the bookstore.

***

At around 7 o’clock that night, you arrived at Cillian’s and Danielle’s house without James by your side.

When Danielle enquired about James’s whereabout, you informed her that he would arrive a little later and so he did.

She could sense that you had been fighting and was quick to offer you a drink, which you gladly accepted.

After wishing Cillian a happy birthday and giving him his present, you socialised with Danielle and her friends and, every time you spoke to her, you felt guilty about what you were doing.

Yet, you couldn’t help but glance over towards Cillian on numerous occasions. He looked incredible and you loved seeing him smile.

Danielle, however, seemed unhappy and a mutual friend by the name Natalie eventually asked her what was wrong.

‘I think Cillian is seeing someone’ Danielle said quietly.

‘Oh god Jesus Danielle, not again, please’ Natalie said, being well aware of the constant allegations and fights they were having. ‘Just because you cheated doesn’t mean he did’ she then said, causing you to almost choke on your wine.

‘You did what?’ you asked surprised. This was the first you heard of it.

‘It was many years ago Y/N. Cillian knows and he forgave me. He was always away and I struggled with the kids and…’ Danielle went on to explain and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing.

‘What is so funny? We all make mistakes’ she said and you couldn’t help but shake your head in disbelieve.

‘Well, apparently so’ you chuckled. ‘Now, what makes you think that he is cheating on you Danielle?’ you then asked, curious as to whether her suspicions were actually warranted and whether she knew something.

‘I looked at his bank account statement and there were two hotel charges in Dublin in the past two weeks, one for the Westin and one for the Hilton’ she explained.

‘He could have just eaten there with friends Danielle, both of these Hotels have restaurants attached to them and are conveniently located near Temple Bar’ Natalie then laughed, causing Danielle to nod.

‘Yeah, probably. But, he has been acting funny lately and isn’t interested in intimacy. He doesn’t even kiss me anymore’ Danielle said.

‘You walked out on him twice in two months Danielle. Does this seriously surprise you?’ you asked, causing Danielle to shake her head just as Cillian came walking over towards you.

‘Miss Music Teacher, do you mind helping me with this?’ Cillian asked you as he handed you a guitar with two broken strings.

‘What animal did this?’ you chuckled and Cillian looked over towards one of his friends, rolling his eyes as he did.

‘Right, show me where the string is and I will fix it’ you said and Cillian asked you to follow him downstairs which is where he kept all of the music instruments and accessories.

***

After you followed Cillian into the basement and he gave you quick kiss now that you had some privacy, you quickly locked the door behind you.

‘What are you doing?’ Cillian asked surprised and, without loosing any time, you moved towards him and pressed your lips onto his again for a more passionate kiss.

Your lips parted his, allowing your tongue to enter for a short moment and explore, before you broke off the kiss and moved back. You then brushed your finger over his lips in a silent hush as you started fumbling with his zipper.

‘I am giving you another birthday present’ you smirked and, whilst Cillian knew that this was wrong, especially with Danielle and James both upstairs, all he managed to do was exhale and watch as you pulled at his jeans and briefs and released him.

You gasped as his cock sprung straight up, precum already glistening on the tip.

‘Oh, I didn’t expect you to be hard already?’ you said with some excitement.

‘What can I say, I have been fantasising about you all evening, seeing you in these tight jeans’ Cillian whispered as your fingers wrapped around the shaft while your other hand cupped his balls and squeezed.

‘Have you now?’ you purred without looking away from his cock.

‘You are such a tease Y/N’ Cillian moaned as you started to stroke. Timidly at first but you quickly picked up the pace. You could tell Cillian was getting himself worked up and you knew you didn’t have much time as everyone was waiting upstairs.

Without warning, you leaned forward and took his shaft into the back of your throat, making him gasp.

‘Fuck’ Cillian groaned, no longer caring if anyone heard him. Your mouth around his cock just felt too good.

You moaned and hummed as you bobbed your head and the sound coming from your throat tickled his cock. He wasn't going to last long at this rate and he was holding back another groan as your tongue slid up and down the underside of his shaft rather seductively. Then, your lips were puckering on the tip of his cock, sucking like a vacuum before releasing him with an audible 'pop'.

‘You like that?’ you whispered, kissing the tip and looking up at Cillian with eyes full of lust but, his only reply was a nod as he ran his fingers through your hair.

The truth was that, he couldn’t remember the last time Danielle and him had sex, let alone her pleasuring him with her mouth. It wasn’t her thing and you certainly wouldn’t have pleasured James like this in recent years either. But, you couldn’t get enough of Cillian’s cock. He was just perfect and you enjoyed giving him the pleasure that he deserved.

‘You can fuck his face, I won't gag, remember?’ you eventually said with a wink, lowering your head again.

Cillian was somewhat surprised by your rather dirty request but found some reassurance when your hand came off his balls and found his hand in your hair, pushing downward, encouraging him to stop holding back.

Taking the hint, Cillian bunched your hair up in his fist and slammed his hips upward, bottoming out in your throat with a wet gurgle. You held there for a moment before pulling back with a gasp.

‘Again’ you moaned, excited by how he had his way with you and, just as you requested more, he forced your head back down on his cock.

‘Fuck Y/N, that’s it’ Cillian groaned, plunging his cock in and out of your plump lips over and over again now while your hand was back to squeezing his balls.

‘So fucking good’ Cillian groaned as he took from you what he needed and he couldn't hold on any longer. With one last violent thrust he held your head down and exploded, coating your throat with his seed.

Cillian could feel you swallowing as you moaned and squeezed his balls some more, milking him of every last drop before letting go off his cock and wiping your mouth.

‘Now give me the string for the guitar before anyone files a missing person’s report’ you winked as you stood up and Cillian zipped up his jeans.

***

When you came walking back upstairs, you noticed how drunk James was which didn’t surprise you after the fight you had earlier that day.

Tipsy and in a good mood, he walked over towards you and, just as you took a sip from your wine to flush down the remnants of what you had just done to Cillian in the basement, he took the glass out of your hand and gave you a kiss.

Cillian looked over to you, his eyes widening and chin dropping. He couldn’t help but laugh.

‘James, you are drunk’ you pointed out, pushing him off you quickly with some embarrassment.

‘I just wanted to kiss my wife, can’t I do that?’ James then said and Danielle quickly came over and handed James a glass of water.

‘You guys should stay the night, I think you can’t take him home in this condition’ Danielle suggested and, before you could decline, James agreed and accepted her offer.

‘Good, you can stay in the basement. It’s nice and warm and there is a comfy pull-out lounge and bathroom in case he gets sick’ she said and you thanked her for the offer.

Thankfully, the party didn’t last too much longer and, at around midnight, everyone had left and you made your way downstairs to see how James was coping.

Just as you walked down the last step, your phone buzzed and you received a text message from Cillian.

‘Meet me in the upstairs bathroom at 1am’ it said and you couldn’t help but giggle.

‘Okay xx’ you responded.

----------

The clock on the nightstand hit 1o’clock as you were laying on the pull-out lounge in Cillian’s basement studio with James snoring softly next to you. He had gone to sleep about half an hour ago after throwing up numerous times and you quietly made your way upstairs.

You opened the bathroom door where Cillian was already waiting for you and, without a word you met in an embrace, lips locking and tongues fighting one another in a sloppy kiss.

His chest was against yours as you backed your ass up against the vanity. His hands slid under your butt and you giggled as he lifted you off the ground, wrapping your legs around his waist and grinding your pelvis against his growing erection.

‘Are you going to fuck me?’ you whispered into his ear, your tongue tracing his ear lobe.

He answered with a nod and a groan against your neck, kissing a trail back up to your lips before pulling off your panties, which was the only thing other than a t-shirt which you were wearing.

Cillian then sat you on top of the vanity, facing him before pushing down his boxers.

Your lips never broke contact and, once he freed his cock, it sprang upward and slapped against the soaked mound between your legs.

‘Give it to me Cillian…I want you so fucking badly’ you moaned into his mouth as his hands slid up your t-shirt and cupped your breasts.

‘I've been thinking about having your cock inside of me all night’ you gasped between kisses, causing Cillian to groan.

‘Have you been thinking about fucking me too?’ you continued, your hips grinding against him, your pussy lips sliding along the length of his cock.

‘I have been. Every night, I have to go to the bathroom and make myself cum just thinking about you and how good you feel’ Cillian groaned as your hand snaked between you both and took hold of his girth, aiming it towards your dripping love hole.

‘Hmm, oh god Cillian’ you cried out as he took your cue and pushed himself into you slowly. Your body shook as you took him inch by inch.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you moaned again and almost screamed as your body convulsed against him and your back arched, fingernails digging into his chest through his t-shirt.

‘That was quick’ Cillian whispered and his hand immediately came down on your mouth, covering it as an orgasm swept through you within seconds of him entering you. This is how much you had craved him. You wanted to simply have him inside of you and were aching for him.

‘Holy shit’ you panted, pulling Cillian in for another deep kiss. While you were clawing at his chest again, he began to thrust in and out of you with short strokes and you began taking a little more each time until he hit your cervix.

Cillian could feel your pussy juices leaking onto his balls as he thrusted his hips and you moaned and shuttered as a second orgasm rolled through you after several minutes.

Cillian didn't slow this time and instead quickened his pace, thrusting into you relentlessly. Your hips were gyrating every time your bodies connected, making his cock do circles inside your pussy. It felt fucking magical and Cillian could feel his balls tightening as an orgasm approached, but he wasn't ready to finish.

‘Fuck, hold on, not yet’ he grunted, grabbing your hips and lifting you off the vanity before spinning you around.  

You grinned eagerly at this and leaned forward across the vanity, wiggling your apple shaped butt in anticipation as Cillian took position behind you. As Cillian rubbed his cock against your slit you arched your back and raised your ass to give him better access and he teased you with the tip, pushing in a couple of inches before pulling out completely  

‘Please Cillian, I need you to fuck me’ you begged and, just as you did, Cillian held your hips and slammed his cock all the way into you. Your bodies collided with a wet slap and you had to reach forward to brace yourself against the vanity.

‘Oh god yes fuck me Cillian’ you groaned, throwing your ass backwards to meet his thrusts while Cillian reached out and took a handful of your pony tail, pulling your head back as he pounded away. The way you would grind into the mirror in front of you every time Cillian bottomed out inside your drove him crazy and quickly brought back his orgasm.

‘Fuck Y/N, I'm gonna cum!’ he groaned.

‘Cum inside me’ you gasped, twisting to look back at him with lust filled eyes. ‘Fill my pussy and let me feel it’ you moaned.

‘Oh god, fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned, grabbing your ass with two hands as he pulled you into him as his cock erupted inside you. He filled you with spurt after spurt of hot cum as you watched him in the mirror and wiggled your ass against him.

After he came down from his high, Cillian pulled out of you and spinned you around and once again sat you on top of the vanity before inspecting your cum dripping mound.

He stepped closer towards you and made you spread your legs wide before, without any warning, he slid two of his fingers inside you.

‘Oh shit Cillian right there! Oh fuck!’ you screamed as he pinched your g-spot. Within a minute or two of him stimulating your g-spot this way, your body quaked as one last orgasm passed through you.

Cillian held you in this position until you calmed down before pulling his fingers out with a wet slurp and brining them to your mouth.

You grinned and cleaned them up eagerly with your tongue and lips before kissing Cillian passionately, letting him taste the both of you.

‘That was...fucking amazing’ you said in between kisses and, just after your lips drifted apart, Cillian made an admission to you after a rather long and awkward pause.

‘I think that I am in love with you Y/N and I don’t know what to fucking do about it. This…all of it…it’s wrong. Yet, it’s like I can’t resist it. I need to be with you’ Cillian then said after he pulled up his boxers and let his head lean forward against your chest.

‘I feel exactly the same’ you said, causing Cillian to lift up his head and ask again.

‘So, what are we going to do about it, Y/N? We can’t go on like this’ he said and, just as he did, the bathroom door opened suddenly….

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[dinosaurtsukki]

farmer kita + taking care of his pregnant wife headcanons

anon: Hello!! Can I request some fluff with everyone's fav diligent farm boy timeskip! Kita taking care of his pregnant wife? Please and thanks, I love your work. :')

omg this is so adorable ahhhhhhh also it’s my first kita request so i’m really happy and excited to write for him. i’ve got way too many ideas atm so i’ll be writing some hc’s for this first but i might end up turning one of them into a short drabble hehe

ok before i get into pregnant!reader i just have to talk about how you and kita got together because setting and context plus it’s just super cute

you live in a provincial town that has a lot of, you guessed it, farmland and you also manage a local diner that serves food local to the area

kita was actually your neighbor and being the sweet person that you are, you decided to make food for him when he moved in and it was pretty much love at first sight for you two

eventually, you found out kita was a rice farmer and you offered to sustain his business by buying your rice from him and also advertising it to the people who visited your diner

you’re like #supportlocalbusiness especially if that local business is a handsome rice farmer 

eventually, kita finds the courage to ask you out and you say yes and the two of you begin dating from that point on

most of your dates are just exploring the different natural sites around the town or just sitting at your front porch and talking all throughout the night

kita didn’t think he was moving fast at all when he made the decision to ask to marry you after just a few months of dating. for him, you two just clicked and he couldn’t think of any other reason not to

also he kind of knew that you were The One when he brought you to see his grandmother and you peeled tangerines for her and massaged her back

your wedding was small and simple but you invited a lot of dear friends. atsumu and osamu were on their best behavior the entire day (except for when they were both bawling after you and kita said your vows)

kita probably cried when he saw you walking down the aisle oh my god now i’m crying too fuck fUCK--

anyway it was a very beautiful and memorable day for the both of you

kita had always wanted kids and so did you so you were both thrilled when he found out you were pregnant

actually, kita could kind of tell before you did because you were practically glowing, he even bought the pregnancy test for you and everything 

when you walked out of the bathroom with a mixture of shock and excitement on your face, his suspicions were just further confirmed

he ran to you and kissed you on the forehead, saying “now our family can grow even more.”

kita was just such a good partner for you to have as you went through your pregnancy. he’s actually better at remembering when you should take your vitamins or go for check-ups than you are

he naturally wakes up really early to go to work but this time, he’ll be waiting for you to wake up first to help you to the bathroom especially because you have terrible morning sickness

during the first few months of your term, you’re still pretty okay with running the diner all by yourself. a lot of the diner visitors love to coo over your growing baby bump too and sometimes you’ll let kids touch it

kita loves walking into the diner to find you talking excitedly with one of your customers about how your pregnancy has been coming along

at night, when you’re especially tired, kita would massage your aching feet and run you a nice, hot bath and wash your hair

to be honest, he didn’t take into account that you’d have really intense pregnancy cravings especially the fact that you’d wake up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep until you’ve eaten what you want

kita: are you, by any chance, still open?

osamu: kita, you do know it’s midnight, right?

kita: y/n’s craving 

osamu: ...okay, what does she need?

kita is also there for your more emotional needs as you go through your pregnancy

he can’t help but notice how you’d keep looking at yourself in the mirror, noticing the changes in your body that you don’t really love, and reassures you that you’ve just grown even more beautiful to him in his eyes

at one point, he went shopping and bought you this really beautiful maternity dress and a bouquet of flowers and you felt gorgeous in that dress

kita shinsuke: husband of the year

also he never laughs at you even when you suddenly cry at the most random things because your hormones are just out of whACK

there was this one time kita’s grandmother visited with baby clothes that she knitted and you took one look at them and started sobbing (parallelism with that time kita sobbed at the sight of his own jersey? YEAH)

you: they’re just... so small and cute... they’re so small...

kita: *rubbing your back* i know honey, i know

he also notices that you’re super affectionate and like playing with his hair tugging at the hem of his shirt when you want attention and it’s just ADORABLE in his eyes

knowing kita, he probably insisted on building the crib for your baby himself because he wanted it to be super special. it was just so sweet to watch him diligently work on the crib every day with a loving smile on his face as meticulously sanded the wood

why am i so soft for this image

the two of you probably don’t need to do much shopping for your baby because the inarizaki volleyball club keep sending you gifts

suna even sent you the cutest little baby blanket with little foxes embroidered on it (i am 100% willing to bet that he made it himself)

as your due date approaches, kita decides to take some time off work to take care of you more and also to just relax before the baby comes and there’s less time to relax

the two of you pass the time with you making more baby clothes (somehow you picked up sewing or crocheting along the way) while kita spends some time tinkering around in your nursery

i swear kita has a fricking sixth sense. he was actually in the nursery when you had your first contraction and he immediately rushed into the bedroom, saw the look on your face, and called for a taxi

kita’s there to hold your hand and yell encouragements as you go through your labor 

and then he feels such an ache in his chest when he hears the sound of your baby crying 

he almost cries himself as he holds his own child in his arms for the first time before handing him to you so you could feed him

the entire time he just can’t help but be in awe at you for bringing his child into the world and he swears on his life that he’ll take care of you both for as long as he lives

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @tpwkatsumu @waitforitillwritemywayout

[angelmavmurdock]

Our Little Secret: Part Six - A.R.

Word count: 5976 Summary: After Lenora’s funeral, Arvin learns some news about her. Y/n and Arvin have sex for the first time and ends up being way past her curfew...

-

WARNINGS: SMUT, FINGERING, DIRTY TALK (mild), READER'S FIRST TIME

-

I attended Lenora's funeral as her best friend.

No one knew about Arvin and I and we were keeping it for a different reason now. Not in case Lenora found out but to keep everyone else sane in this crazy time.

I had taken a week off school, helping the Russell's around the house with cooking, cleaning and some company. Emma was absolutely distraught, only coming out of bed when she needed the bathroom or needed to eat - even then it wasn't promised.

Ma was so busy with helping Daddy while I was busy helping the Russell's, we hardly got to see each other. But we both knew after the funeral things would calm down.

Arvin was handling his sister's death strangely. He wasn't sad. He didn't cry. He would go out on car rides, asking to be alone a lot of the time. I didn't know what he was doing and to be honest, I didn't want to know.

At night, once Earskell had went to bed and well after Emma had went to bed, we'd stay up, sitting outside on the patio in the old rocking chairs with some tea and listen to the radio quietly humming in the background. We wouldn't really speak much. We'd just be in each other's presence. We'd kiss. Then I'd go home.

But today was her funeral. I had a standard funeral outfit on: a black dress with tights and patent shoes with a black ribbon in my hair. I had been crying all day so my tears stained my cheeks and my eyes were red and puffy.

Emma was much the same as me while Arvin was trying to be strong for us, only a few tears leaving his eyes during the ceremony. He held me close to him, his hand just above the curve of my waist to not draw attention to us. We stood by together as Emma cried over her casket.

"Oh Lord, there's just some things we can't understand..."

She cried, kneeling to the floor and caressing the wood with her soft hands.

"But you take her into your arms..." She had to stop speaking because of her sobs.

I watched, tears falling from my face and I looked up at Arvin, rubbing my hand over his back softly. He stared numbly at the casket, only the ever-so-often squeeze of my waist indicating he was okay.

"Now I ain't somebody for sayin' prayers or..." Earskell talked, coughing and then clenching his jaw.

Arvin looked over to his Uncle and then removed his arm from around me, leaving me feeling cold without him. He slightly bent over and helped Emma to her feet, holding her by her arm and then wrapping his other arm back around me, this time on my waist.

"Let's go home." I said in almost a whisper.

Emma and everyone else nodded. I pulled away from Arvin and when he looked at me I looked back as if to say it was okay. He nodded slightly and helped his Grandma to the truck. I followed loosely behind the three of them, giving them some space to be with each other in the fresh air.

As I walked behind them through the grave yard I thought about everything.

What did she have to tell me? What happened with the preacher? Why was she so ashamed? Why did she want to end her own life?...

There were too many questions and none of them I could answer. I was supposed to be her best friend and I felt like I had let her down. I had let her down.

***

"I think it'll be real good if you went out for a night, Emma." I sighed, sitting next to her on her bed.

It had been a few days since the funeral and she was still lying in bed, only getting up for the bare minimum. Even for food she wasn't getting up for, which I was cooking each night.

"I don't have the energy, y/n." She croaked.

"I think you need a bath. And a nice new dress. And your hair did and your friends around you. There's a church day out at the beach on Saturday. I think you should go." I said with a smile.

She laughed lightly, "Honey, I hardly have five dollars to put together, how am I supposed to buy a new dress and get my hair done?"

A grin grew on my face, "Luckily I am here to help with that."

***

Saturday rolled around and I showed up early morning with two new dresses for Emma. She had gotten her hair done the day before and she was feeling a lot better. She showered and I met her in her room when she came out. I lay the two dresses on the bed and she looked in confusion.

"Pick your favourite and I'll see you in the living room." I smiled simply then left her room, closing the door behind me.

I waited in the living room with Arvin who was reading the newspaper, a cigarette bouncing between his lips and an ash tray.

"Ma asked for me to be home at 9 tonight." I said with a sigh.

Arvin looked up from the paper, "Really? That early?"

"Yeah. She does not like you." I groaned.

"Damn...I'm guessin' there's not much I can do about that, huh?"

"Not really...don't you have work today?" I asked.

"Only a small shift. Just gettin' back into it after the accident and then obviously..." He gulped.

"I know...well that'll be good." I smiled.

"Yeah."

"I'm ready!" Emma called from her bedroom.

"Come on out!" I beamed, getting up from the couch.

She clicked down the hallway in her red kitten heels. I gasped with delight. She chose the poppy patterned dress that flowed lightly below her knees. It fit her perfectly. A silver cross hung over her clavicle and her hair was pinned up nicely.

"Emma Russell, you look absolutely divine!" I grinned.

She blushed, "Really? I do love this dress, I can't thank you enough y/n."

"It's no problem at all. I'm just glad you're feelin' better and havin' fun. You deserve it."

She took a deep breath and smiled, "Thanks, darlin'."

Arvin got up to drive her to the church and he complimented her with an embrace.

"I'll be back around 11pm. It's late but the girls are all hitchin' rides with the men after their poker."

"Well I'll be gone by 9 so I'll see you tomorrow? I hope you have fun, Emma." I hummed, hugging her tightly.

"Thank you so much. Have fun!" She waved as Arvin opened the door for her.

We both watched as she and Earskell talked, going to the truck. Arvin closed the door slightly, leaning forward to me.

I giggled and cupped his face, bringing his lips to mine. It was soft but meaningful. His hands lightly touched my waist before we both pulled away.

"Have a good day at work and drive safe, alright?" I said.

"Thanks, y/n. I'll see you later. Bye." He flashed me a smile before leaving the house.

And I was left for nearly a whole day by myself.

***

Arvin's POV

The working truck pulled up to the car park outside. I jumped off the end along with everyone else and we said our goodbyes. As I headed to the truck I saw an officer standing by, looking at me.

"Need to have a word with you, Arvin." He announced.

"About what?" I asked, standing a few yards from him.

"It's uh...it's about Lenora." He spoke awkwardly.

I took a deep breath and looked away for a second, "What about her?"

"I came by here instead of home so nothin's put on your grandmother-"

"Put on her? What do you mean?" I asked.

The officer removed his uniform hat which is never a good sign. He seemed awkward. He seemed nervous.

"Y'know old Dudley in the coroners? He's a drunk but...he ain't no liar."

I looked at him with a stern look, masking the fact that my stomach was flipping inside.

"Did you know Lenora was carryin' a baby?" He asked.

I tilted my head slightly, my eyes on his. This seemed real. But it couldn't be.

I continued staring at him, hoping he'd crack.

"That's bullshit. That son of a bitch is lyin'." I clenched my jaw.

"Dudley ain't a liar. He came to me privately so as your family knew...I felt he was right." The officer nodded.

I averted eye contact, feeling myself tear up. No, no, no, no, no.

"I might've put my foot in somethin' but that wasn't my intention."

He fiddled with his dark green fedora, uncomfortable with the conversation and uncomfortable with the fact he had to tell me.

"You know that preacher ain't said no words for her? Not for people that kill themselves." I shook my head and clenched my jaw.

That son of a bitch.

***

I drove home in anger and confusion. When I pulled up, I saw y/n outside on one of the rocking chairs, a mug in her hand and a blanket wrapped around her.

My mood lifted almost automatically. She looked gorgeous in the dim sunlight. I remembered the house was empty and I was happy in that y/n and I could spend time together alone but then again, Lenora wasn't there.

I walked tiredly up the steps and she sat her mug down with a pout of her plump lips.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked me, standing up.

I didn't say anything.

"Arvin?" She prompted.

I looked up at her.

"How was work?" She asked, trying to pry something from me.

"It was fine." I shrugged, walking back to lean against the post.

She bit her lip, "Is somethin' botherin' you?"

She knew me too well.

"A uh...a police officer stopped me before goin' home." I said, retrieving a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it.

"What? Why?" She asked, arms folding as she leaned against the opposite post.

I chuckled. It wasn't to be annoying. It was in anger and confusion and disbelief.

"He told me that Lenora - my innocent, God-loving, 17-year-old sister - was pregnant before she died." I stated.

She blinked at me like a deer in headlights. She didn't speak for a few seconds, her brain working to log the information properly.

"She uh...she was p-pregnant? No." She shook her head.

"Well she was." I took a puff.

"What the hell? How did I not know?" She pressed a hand to her chest.

"Don't get mad at me I'm just repeatin' what he said!"

"I'm not mad! I'm just...she was pregnant?"

I licked my lips and nodded.

She chewed her lip in thought, wrinkles forming between her eyebrows.

"I don't believe it. That's bullshit."

"That's what I said. But, apparently some guy down at the coroner's said that she was. And apparently, he don't lie." I said.

She shook her head, "Who...who was the father? Cause he'll be out there right now runnin' free!" She exclaimed.

"I don't know. I have an idea but I don't know." I licked my back teeth.

I couldn't tell her about the preacher. She clearly didn't know and I wasn't about to tell her. Because if I told her I would have to explain how I knew and stalking some guy doesn't seem like the best thing to say.

"Well that is just...wow." She rubbed her face.

"I know."

We both went silent, our heads filled with thought and worry and confusion. How could neither of us had known?

"Are you gonna tell your Grandma?" She asked.

"No. No, I'm not." I dropped the cigarette butt and stood on it.

"I think it would set her back." She agreed.

"Exactly. She don't need that right now, she's at a good place."

y/n nodded, agreeing with me. I sighed and took my hat off, running a hand through my hair. y/n walked towards me with her arms outstretched. I smiled and welcomed her. Her arms wrapped around me tightly, her chest pressed against mine. I leaned my head on top of hers and stroked her back softly.

"We didn't get to tell Lenora." She whispered.

I gulped, "I know..."

"Well if heaven is real then she'll be lookin' down at us thinkin': I told you so."

We both chuckled at the thought. But it was slightly uncomfortable to think of her that way. Dead. In heaven. I didn't like it.

"Hey," She chirped from underneath me.

I moved my head and looked at her. She reached her hands up and wrapped them around my neck.

"You were such a good big brother." She stated.

An immediate lump in my throat formed at her words. Not if you knew the things I had done or what I was planning to do...

"And you're an amazin' person, Arv. You really are." She smiled.

I just smiled weakly at her.

"And I know you feel like you have to be strong all the time but with me...with me you don't have to." She whispered, trailing her hands down then up my chest.

Reader's POV

He stared down at me with a sudden look of lust and hunger. Before I knew it, I was being pushed back against the post, gasping as the wood hit my back. Arvin kissed me ferociously, his tongue pushing into my mouth without missing a beat. I moaned in surprised but sunk into him, getting the fast-paced rhythm he was implementing.

He moved his kisses to my neck and he began to kiss and suck on my sweet spot.

"Arvin," I moaned breathlessly, tugging his hair slightly.

His hands slid down my dress and grabbed my ass through the fabric as his mouth worked on my skin.

"Feels so good." I hummed.

His lips came back up to mine and our tongues worked with each other's, pushing and swirling in some sort of dance. It was passionate and hot and I felt like I needed more of him.

Suddenly his hands roamed further to my thighs and swiftly lifted me up. I gasped as my legs locked around his torso effortlessly. He smirked up at my surprise and kissed me again. He blindly opened the door and it slammed shut behind us. He walked through while kissing me intensely.

And then I knew I was in his room. I had only been in once or twice for laundry but I knew it was his. He pushed me against the door, ultimately closing it. I moaned again and he moved his lips to my neck again.

"Want you, Arvin." I hummed.

He looked up at me with a glint of lust and hope in his eyes.

"You sure?" He asked.

"I need you." I whispered.

That was enough for him.

He brought me off the wall and to his bed, lying me carefully on his sheets, getting on top of me.

He kept kissing me, his hands beginning to lift my dress up. I sat up and allowed him to slide it off my body. Thankfully I was wearing nicer underwear this time. He threw my dress to the side and looked down at my body in awe.

He stood up from the bed, eyes burning through my skin as he started to undo his buttons on his shirt.

I felt a colour rise to my cheeks. He was seeing me in my underwear. No guy had ever seen me in my underwear before.

"You are fuckin' unreal, darlin'." He complimented, his eyes shining with adoration.

I bit my lip, "You're makin' me nervous standin' like that."

He removed his shirt and then pulled off his dirty white t-shirt from underneath. I had seen his chest before but his bruises were nearly healed and he looked even better than before. Probably since he'd been working all day. He undid his belt and then slid down his trousers, stepping out of them.

My jaw dropped. Arvin. In. His. Underwear.

"Whatcha starin' at?" He smirked.

I gulped then looked back up at him, "Nothin' much."

He shook his head and leaped on top of me. I squealed before he kissed me.

"You're a minx, that's what you are." He chuckled against my lips.

"Well then teach me how to be good." I whispered.

He pulled away, looking down at me with his dilated brown eyes, almost completely black with passion.

"Fuck, I want to."

He began to slide his hand down my body, making rest stops at my waist and my hip before teasing the waistband of my pants. I gasped and looked up at him in lust.

"Have you ever been touched before?" He asked lowly.

He slid his hand carefully into my panties. I arched my back and moaned lightly at his touch.

"N-no." I answered honestly.

His eyebrows furrowed for a split-second.

"You've never been touched before? When you look this pretty?" He quirked an eyebrow.

His fingers slowly circled on my clit, warming me up. I grasped his arm and bit my lip at the new feeling.

"Have you ever touched yourself before?"

My throat went dry.

"No." I answered again.

He smiled, "That's okay...but you've gotta tell me if you don't like what I'm doin', alright?" He asked.

I nodded with a hum.

He pulled my panties off and I felt completely exposed. Only my brasserie covered the last part of my modesty. But I felt safe with Arvin. I trusted him.

His hand returned back to my core where he continued rubbing circles on my clit. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the new-found pleasure.

"Already so wet, darlin'."

I whimpered at his filthy words and felt his finger slide down my core. He slowly pushed a finger into my entrance. I gasped and gripped his arm that rested beside my head, propping himself up.

He started moving it in and out, beginning to pick up a pace.

"How does that feel?" He asked.

"So- good." I hummed, eyes closed in pleasure.

He began to speed his finger up, curling it up to find my spot. I moaned, bucking my hips into his palm as if to say more.

He got the message and slipped a second finger in with ease. I moaned loudly as his fingers worked inside of me. His thumb grazed constantly over my clit and whatever he was doing was making my stomach flutter.

I could hear the sounds of my arousal and it added to the pleasure.

"So good for me, y/n. So good." He praised.

"Arvin!" I whined.

"What, angel?" He asked softly.

"I need you. Please." I practically humped his hand in desperation.

He smirked, "You sure you're ready?" He asked cautiously.

I nodded, "Please."

He removed his hand from me, leaving me a whimpering, pathetic mess. He slid his underwear off and my jaw dropped once again. His member was a lot bigger than I had anticipated. But to be honest, I had never seen one so I had nothing to compare it to. But my god.

He pumped himself in his hand as he got back onto the bed, kneeling between my legs. I sat up and removed my bra myself. I then took my hair out of the band and the ribbon, sitting them aside. I lay back down, attempting to make my hair look as nice as it could splayed out on the bedsheet.

"You're so fuckin' gorgeous. Can't wait to feel you." He groaned, getting on top of me.

I bit my lip and held his arm with one hand and gripped his hair with the other.

"You ready?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded. He leaned down and encased my lips in a passionate but loving kiss, our lips moving slowly over each other's and our tongues swirling around perfectly. I got so distracted by the kiss that Arvin could easily slip half-way into me. I gasped at the feeling of him.

"Is that okay?" He checked, brushing some of my hair out of my face.

I nodded and hummed. He gave me a moment to adjust to his size. It was slightly uncomfortable but that soon went away when he pulled back then thrusted slowly into me again.

"Arvin," I moaned.

He lifted my thigh up to his side and pushed further into me. I tugged his hair and bit my lip.

"So fuckin' tight, fuck. Feel so good, darlin'." He panted.

"Please go faster." I whimpered.

He dipped his head into the crook of my neck and held my thigh firmly as he began thrusting into me. His pace sped up quickly and soon enough he was moving effortlessly into me.

"Feels so good!" I moaned, arching my back into his chest.

His lips came to my breasts, taking one nipple into his mouth. I gasped at the new feeling as his tongue lapped over my skin. His thrusts sped up and he completely bottomed me out, his skin slapping against mine with every push.

"Oh god!" I tugged on his hair.

He groaned, "So gorgeous, so hot - fuck."

I rolled my eyes back at his words.

In a Christian based Southern state, having premarital sex was looked down upon. But it didn't feel wrong. It felt so good.

"So tight around me," He commented lowly.

"Can we flip?" I asked breathlessly.

"'Course."

He smoothly flipped us, so he was on his back. I bit my lip and hovered over him, taking his member in my hand.

"Fuck." We both cursed in unison.

I pumped him in my hand a few times to see what it was like and how he reacted. He gripped my thigh tighter and bit his lip. I smirked, feeling a pang of power course through me.

I swiped his member on my folds, surprised at how wet I actually was. I slowly sank down on him and we both let out long groans as I bottomed him out.

"W-woah." I panted.

He sat up, shifting inside of me. I moaned a little at the movement. His arms wrapped around me and I held his shoulders. I kissed him deeply, running my hands up into his hair and his tongue explored my mouth like it never had before.

I started to move on him, up and down was my instinct. Apparently I was right.

"Fuck, darlin'." He cursed against my lips.

"Oh god." I moaned, gripping his broad shoulders for support.

He gathered my cascading hair and put it behind my back as I moved on top of him. For some reason it made emotions flow in my brain.

Love.

They way he cared for me and was gentle with me obviously set off an emotion I had never really felt before. Not romantically, anyway.

I looked into his dark eyes and stopped bouncing on him. He looked into my eyes and held my waist.  He started to move my hips in a grinding motion. My mouth dropped open slightly at the feeling.

His eyes stayed on mine as I rolled my hips on his, his hands guiding me. It was intimate and passionate and I loved him. I held him as close to me as possible, our chests matching and my hands massaging his scalp.

"Arvin," I moaned.

I could feel a build up of tension in my stomach.

One of his hands slowly came down between us and started to rub my clit again. I threw my head back in pleasure, the feeling intensifying.

"Shit!"

"You close, darlin'?" He asked lowly.

"Close? To- to what?" I asked, fastening my movements.

"Fuck- to your high, baby."

His fingers kept working on my clit and his other hand still guided my hip.

"My high? Oh fuck! That feels so good!" I moaned loudly and highly.

His fingers worked faster.

"If you feel like you need to let go...then do it, baby." He groaned.

I didn't really know what he meant but the feeling in my core and stomach tightened.

"Oh god! Yes! Yes!" I moved my hips faster on him.

"God you feel so good, baby. So good around me." He praised.

I dug my nails into his back, my head going to his forehead.

"Arvin, I love you." I admitted breathlessly.

"You-you love me?" He repeated as if he was surprised.

"Yes! Yes, I love you." I bit my lip.

"y/n...pretty girl," He brushed some of my hair behind my ear.

"I love you, too." He grinned.

I stopped my movements for a second to smile and kiss him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him as close to me as possible.

He started to thrust up into me, the sound of skin slapping and my surprised moans filling the room.

"Oh! Yes! God, yes!" I squealed.

He worked a lot faster than I did. His member brushed a spot inside of me I didn't even know existed. I could feel myself clenching around him and he groaned at the feeling.

"Let go for me, baby. Come on." He grunted.

"I love you! Arvin, I- yes!"

I felt the knot in my stomach snap and the feeling in my core burn. I moaned and cursed and gripped Arvin's hair in ecstasy. He continued thrusting up into me, my wetness dripping down onto him and his thighs.

"Feels so good baby, good job." He praised.

He kept me in my high like I had entered nirvana. My mind went cloudy, my vision hazy, my hearing muffled. All I could sense was Arvin. And that's all I needed.

"Fuck, baby-"

He quickly flipped me back onto my back and pulled out of me. I was still somehow in my high but I opened my eyes to see what he was doing. He pumped his member a few times before grunting and finished on my upper thigh and lower stomach.

I watched in awe. His muscles tensed and untensed, his head was thrown back and the sounds leaving his mouth were heaven.

After he calmed down he crashed next to me and we both caught our breaths.

"Sorry about that, I should have asked you." He sighed.

"It's okay. I liked it." I giggled.

He shook his head and looked at me, "You are perfect, y/n."

I shook my head back, brushing my hand over his loose curls, "No, you are."

He smiled at my touch, "How was it?"

I laughed lightly, "Good. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that."

He smirked, "I'm a master, what can I say?"

I rolled my eyes and smacked his chest. He laughed and then shuffled closer to me, lips decorating my shoulder.

"Did you mean what you said?" He asked quietly.

I nodded, "Every word."

His lips connected to mine in a soft, long kiss.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too."

-

He dropped the needle onto the record and waited for the music to play.

(Play now)

'Cry To Me' by Solomon Burke began to play through the speaker.

Arvin had poured us a glass of very fancy scotch each. He said it was only for special occasions. I had only put my panties and one of his button down shirts on. The warm, humid weather was enough to keep me warm. Arvin wore a white vest shirt and some long pyjama bottoms.

"I love this song." I hummed, sipping the warm alcohol from the crystal glass.

"Dance with me." Arvin stated rather than questioned.

I smiled and sat my glass down. He gave me his hand and twirled me under his arm before bringing me into his chest.

We held hands on one side while his other hand held my waist and my other held his shoulder. We swayed back and forth to the music, enjoying the post-sex bliss.

"Come on, and cry to me." I sang an octave higher.

Arvin smiled, "I love you."

I giggled, "I love you, too."

We stayed like that, dancing and singing to the parts we knew, hands all over each other, stealing a few kisses whenever we could. He'd spin me out and I'd attempt to spin him but he could never get the hang of it.

We were happy. And we were in love.

"I've never seen you like this before, you know? I like happy on you." I smiled up at him.

A one sided smile curved on his face, "No one's been able to bring it out of me before."

I bit the inside of my lip at his words. Part of me was happy and proud that I could make him feel like that but the other part felt horrible that he's felt that way for so long.

"Well get ready to be happy a whole bunch, 'cause I ain't goin' nowhere."

He laughed, twirling me under his arm and back into his chest.

"That's exactly what I want." He smirked, leaning down to kiss me.

Our lips pressed together.

But only briefly.

A truck pulled up outside. And both of us turned to look out the window.

"Wait WHAT?!" I shouted, noticing that it was Emma and Earskell in the car.

I looked at the clock on the wall.

11:57.

"SHIT!" I exclaimed.

It was nearly midnight. I was supposed to be home at nine.

I scrambled to Arvin's bedroom and hurriedly put on my dress and shoes. Arvin put the shirt I was wearing on and changed into his work trousers again. He grabbed his jacket and his keys, shoving his feet into his shoes as we ran to the front door.

"Oh! You two are still here?" Emma jumped at the sight of us rushing past her outside.

"Back soon!" Arvin shouted.

I jumped into the passenger seat and Arvin got in the drivers. He pulled out frantically and drove off.

"Oh my god. I'm dead. I'm dead." I panicked.

"Just calm down, you'll be fine." Arvin tried to soothe me, speeding through the village.

"You'll be dead, too! Oh god what are they gonna do, Arvin?" I gripped my hair.

"We're nearly there, it'll be fine." He grasped my thigh lightly.

I took deep breaths, looking out at the silent town as we zoomed past everything. The dread in my stomach grew as we drove up the road and then entered the grounds, past the gate.

"Go before they get you, alright?" I ordered, jumping out the car.

"Y/N Y/M/N YL/N! Where the HELL have you been?!" Ma shouted from the door, storming outside.

"Ma, I can explain! Let's just go inside!" I exclaimed.

"Boy, get out that car right now!" She shouted at Arvin.

"Ma! Stop! It's not his fault!" I shouted, beginning to get defensive.

Arvin got out of the car and held his hands in his trouser pockets, walking towards Ma and I. I saw Daddy standing by the door, watching everything and my heart ached.

"You are supposed to be takin' care of her! How dare you keep her away this long with no contact! How dare you!" She shouted at Arvin, pointing a finger at hi accusingly.

"Ma! He didn't do anything!" I shouted.

"I am not STUPID y/n! I know that you two have been gettin' together almost every night. I see the car bein' parked behind the gate, I see the way you two look at each other. And I do not have a problem with that! But if the so called MAN known for his sexual acts keeps my 18 year old daughter out until MIDNIGHT, I am not gonna be happy!"

"We lost track of time, ma'am." Arvin stated calmly.

"Oh did ya' now? Doin' what?"

"Ma!" I shouted.

"No! I wanna know what was so important that stopped you from comin' home on time!"

Arvin and I stuttered, not knowing what or how to say anything.

Ma scoffed and clenched her jaw. We could practically see steam coming from her ears.

"You. Inside. Now." She demanded, pointing at me.

I furrowed my brows, "No! I'm not goin' inside with you!"

"y/n, inside right now!"

"No! I'm not leavin' Arvin!" I held his arm in mine.

Her chest heaved with rage, "Arvin, stay the hell away from my daughter."

Ma went to grab my arm but I dodged it.

"No!" I screamed.

"y/n!"

"No! I wanna be with Arvin!"

"He is no good for you!" She shouted as if he wasn't there.

"You do not get to tell me what I can and can't do! I'm an adult and if I am in love with someone-"

"IN LOVE?" Ma shouted.

"Yes! In love! We love each other and you can't stop that!" I held his arm so tightly I was surprised I hadn't cut his circulation off yet.

"You are not to be with each other anymore. You are a bad influence on my daughter and I never want to see you near her again. Do you understand?" She spoke sternly to Arvin.

I looked up at him. He gulped, his eyes becoming teary, "I understand." He uttered.

"Arvin!" I scoffed.

"I'll leave you alone." He murmured, beginning to walk away.

"Arvin! What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted, my arm still attached to him as he - we - walked away.

He opened the car door and clenched his jaw, not looking at me.

"Go with your parents. I've done enough."

"Arvin, don't say that! You- you just said you loved me!" I felt tears begin to fall from my eyes.

His chin quivered, "Just go, y/n. Please."

"What? No. No! I'm not going!"

He ripped his arm away from me and went to get in the car.

"No!"

I slammed the door so he couldn't get in.

"No! You don't get to do that, Arvin! You don't get to say you love me then fuck off when somethin' comes between us!" I shouted, realising these were more sobs than anything.

"Just go inside, y/n." He said to the ground.

I furrowed my brows and shook my head in disbelief.

"y/n-" I interrupted my mother.

"No! Arvin, please! Why are you doing this?"

"We can't be together." Arvin sniffed.

"Yes we can! We can!" I went to cup his face but he moved away.

I didn't know if it was sadness or utter rage but I broke down in tears.

"You said you loved me!" I screamed, pushing him against the car.

He took it. He didn't look at me, though. But he took my babyish tantrum.

"You said you loved me!" I cried, hitting his chest.

"y/n, go inside. Please." He begged quietly.

I saw tears fall from his face.

I stopped and stood back, watching with blurred eyes as he got into the car and drove off quickly.

I choked on a sob and kneeled to the ground in a cry, letting all the emotions I had pent up go. Absolutely everything.

Ma came up to me to comfort me but I pushed her off and stood back up.

"No! You don't get to comfort me after ruining love for me." I cried, pushing past her and running to the house.

I ran up the steps and I paused briefly when I saw Daddy watching with tired and heartbroken eyes. He silently moved to the side to let me storm away. I sobbed uncontrollable sobs as I ran up the stairs and slammed my door shut, sliding down to the floor.

I thought he loved me.

-

{Tags: @notanordinaryprincess96 @imagine-yourself-happy​ }

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Movie Night, Pillow Fight [Version 2]

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC/BatFam - Jason Todd/Red Hood

Rating: PG-13/T (maybe pushing M? but there’s still nothing super explicit. this is just a lot dirtier than I usually write holy cannoli. Heavy kissing, a little bit of suggestive dialogue and narration, minor swearing?)

Original Idea: This (V1 follows this idea a lot more than this one, which I spun off of about halfway through and did my own thing)

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) I didn’t think this would be as long as Version 1. I was wrong. This one is ~200 words longer, at 3,491. Version 1 here. They start the exact same but change about halfway through. I wrote both of these two over the course of 1 day by the way, and refuse to pick a favorite. @welovegroot @jason-redhood @jason-todd-squad

^^^^^

“No, Bruce,” Jason said sharply into his phone as he grabbed his motorcycle helmet. “I’ve already told you a hundred times: Tuesdays are my day off. Unless it’s a Court-of-Owls-attacking-All-Hands-On-Deck emergency, I’m not going on patrol. I’m allowed one night off per week. And I have plans. It’s weekly movie night with a friend of mine. We’ve been doing movie night since college and I refuse to disappoint her. You know why I chose Tuesdays? Because Gotham’s crime rate is lowest. You’ll be fine without me.” He hung up before Bruce could reply.

—

I opened the door. “You’re late,” I said.

“Yeah. I had to go to two different stores to find your popcorn because they were out at the first one,” Jason replied, letting himself in and dropping his motorcycle helmet on my couch. “Let me go change into my sweats.” He pulled his grey sweatpants out of his backpack, two microwave popcorn bags falling out.

I grabbed them. “Thanks Jay,” I said playfully.

He gave me a brief hug before stepping past me to my bathroom. “The things I do for you,” he teased with a sigh.

“Get out of those jeans. You know they aren’t allowed,” I retorted before going over to the microwave. My bathroom door shut loudly. I boosted myself onto the counter and watched the popcorn spin in the microwave.

By the time Jason emerged from the bathroom, only one bag was done. He leaned against the counter next to me, arms folded, and joined my staring.

“So what movie did you bring?” I asked. “You said in your text it was one of your favorites.”

He beamed at me. “Well, my friend, we are watching the very first ever made Frankenstein. From nineteen-thirty-one.” He fixed me with a stare as my shoulders slouched. “Don’t you start moaning in complaint. You put me through watching that awful musical last week—”

“Excuse you, Phantom of the Opera is also a classic.”

“It’s basic.”

“You’re basic.”

“Maybe so, but after going through that ordeal, you promised we could watch one of my favorites. I managed not to fall asleep last week, so it’s my turn.” He stuck his tongue out at me, then shook his head. “I really need to refine your taste in theatre. Remind me to convince Bruce to give me his season tickets to the real opera. He never uses them anyway. Doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

Given Bruce’s parents were shot after leaving the opera, I imagined there was some childhood trauma there. I didn’t bring it up with Jason. We didn’t talk about family besides passing comments on movie nights.

When the second bag of popcorn was finished popping and put in its own large bowl—I had quite the collection of popcorn bowls, usually given to me—we went to my room.

Ever since we’d graduated college—two years ago—we’d had movie night in my bed, rather than on the couch, like we’d done in my dorm. The bed was comfier and gave us more room to spread out. I can’t even remember who suggested it, but it was probably me one week when I was sick or something and we’d just stayed that way ever since.

I’d always hosted too. In college it was because my roommate was never there, and now Jason just liked the escape from his family. They didn’t know where I lived, so the one time he hosted and they interrupted by coming over, he and I agreed we’d just have it at my place. I liked his brothers and sister well enough, but they’d ruined that movie night. I doubted Wayne Manor movie nights ever involved any movies no one had seen before—because everyone talked and yelled at each other too much to actually pay attention to the movie.

Jason put the DVD in the player in my room. “Prepare to be wowed,” he said.

“I’m prepared, trust me,” I replied flatly.

—

“Heeey,” Jason’s voice said softly. “Wake up, doofus.”

I blinked my eyes open blearily. “Wha…?”

He started chuckling. “You fell asleep about halfway through.”

“Duh. It was boring. What did you expect for a casual movie fan from this century watching something from nineteen-thirty-one?”

“Well, all that means is that we get to rewatch it—from the beginning—next week!” Jason declared. I frowned. “Don’t you pout at me. Those have been the official movie night rules since our freshman year of college.”

“That’s not true,” I said, pulling out my phone. I dug deep into the Google Docs on my phone for Movie Night Rules from our freshman year of college. Six years was a long way to scroll through, but eventually I found it. I opened the doc and scanned the rules. “Oh, buzz off,” I muttered, poking Jason in the side.

“No poking!” He lurched away. Jason was selectively ticklish. Sometimes I would poke him in the side and he’d jump, other times he wouldn’t even notice I touched him. And he swapped between the two randomly.

“Why didn’t you wake me up like two minutes after I fell asleep?”

Jason pursed his lips, trying not to smile. “I thought about it. But you looked so cute—” He pinched my cheek and I was reminded of the fact that he had the personality traits of an eighty-year-old grandmother. “—with your hair all messy and your cheeks all squished that I just couldn’t.” He laughed as I batted his hand away from my face. I poked him again. “No poking!”

“Then don’t tease.”

“I have a right to tease you. Look at my shirt! You drooled all over it.”

I grabbed the hem of it and pulled it up. “Let me throw it in the wash, then.”

I expected him to smack my hand away and shove the shirt back down over his torso, but to my surprise, he helped me take it off. I’d seen him shirtless too many times to bother staring at his remarkably muscular torso. I just climbed out of my bed and went to the small closet out in the hall that held my tiny washer and dryer. I threw his shirt in the washer, dumped a bit of detergent in, and got it started before going back to my room.

“Take that off! You’ll stretch it out!” I snapped.

Jason struggled to get one of my—much smaller—T-shirts from college off. I scoffed and helped him yank it over his head before throwing one my pajama shirts at him. I wore my dad’s old T-shirts to sleep in, so it was even big on Jason. “You could have just asked for a replacement and I’d have handed you this.”

“That’s not as fun as surprising you,” he joked.

I rolled my eyes and perched back on the bed. “Fine. Next week, we rewatch Frankenstein. I won’t fall asleep. But you’re bringing snacks again.”

“Of course.”

“And don’t forget the popcorn.”

“Doofus, if I forgot the popcorn, you wouldn’t let me through the door.”

I snickered. “True enough.”

Jason leaned over to set his popcorn bowl on the bedside table closest to him. “Maybe next week we should try this on the couch. I always feel bad about getting popcorn on your sheets—and then you won’t be so comfortable that you fall asleep.”

I grabbed a pillow and whacked him in the chest. His expression turned affronted.

“Did you just initiate a pillow fight?” he demanded.

“No,” I retorted. “I got payback for you insulting me.” I whacked him again. “That was me initiating a pillow fight.” I started flinging the pillow at him again and again.

“Hey! Not fair!” Jason protested. “I’m unarmed!”

I ignored him and kept up my pillow smacking.

He laughed. “Well, if you’re going to play dirty, I will too.” He reached out as my pillow hit him again and he wrangled it from me. “A-ha! Look at that! Got your ammo. How does it feel, to be attacked by your own pillow?”

Jason started smacking me with it. I squealed and blocked him as best I could with my arms. We were both laughing as I tried to reach around him to the pillow he’d been using to brace his back against my headboard. He grabbed my wrist with one hand and hit me with the pillow using the other. “I don’t think so,” he said. “I’m not going easy on you just because you’re adorable.”

I laughed as he nearly hit me hard enough to knock me off the bed.

So, I switched tactics.

Getting inside his much longer reach was the hard part. Once I managed to duck around his arms and wrench my wrist free, I started tickling him. Tonight was a ticklish night. He squirmed away from me.

Jason yowled—and I hoped my neighbors weren’t home—in laughter. “Stop it—stop tickling!”

I didn’t. I ran my wiggling fingers up his sides and across his neck. He tried to catch my hands, but I was quick enough to evade him.

For a few moments anyway.

“No. No!” His protests didn’t work on me. “Oh you’re as bad as my brothers. Stop it—stop it.” His voice went firm, all traces of laughter gone. With one quick movement, the pillow we’d attacked each other with was discarded on the floor. He grabbed my ankles and pulled me so I was lying flat in the center of the bed.

Jason straddled my waist, trapping my lower legs with his ankles and pinning both my hands above my head on the mattress. He was breathing hard. We both were.

He smiled. “There. Not so feisty now, are you? Hands pinned above your head, lying beneath me all… helpless.” He chuckled and licked his lower lip, his smile turning both playful and wicked. “I could have… any kind of revenge I want.” He bent his elbows, lowering himself over me. My breathing grew shorter and blood roared in my ears. “I can have any…” He paused, eyes flicking from mine to where my necklace charm had fallen down one side and landed on the mattress. His eyes widened, as if he seemed to just barely realize how close we were. “This is…” His elbows straightened, pushing him higher above me. “I’m… sorry.” He started to gently pick his way off of me. “I’m gonna let you go now.”

He released his grip on my wrists. I rolled them and flexed my hands to get some feeling back into them.

He swung his leg to get off me and used it to step off the bed. “I should go,” he said breathlessly. “I’m so sorry. I’ll grab my T-shirt next week.” He strode to the door of my bedroom while I sat on the bed, dumbfounded, jaw hanging open.

As he opened the door, I bounded off the bed.

I caught him before he could reach for his stuff on my couch, grabbing his wrist. “What was that about?” I demanded. He refused to turn and look at me.

“Just… let it go,” he said, shaking his head. He tried to pull his wrist out of my hand, but I grabbed it with my other one to hold him in both.

“No! What the hell is going on with you?”

“Leave it alone,” he growled out.

“I can’t! What happened in there that made you shut down? What did I do wrong?”

He whirled. “It’s nothing to do with you. It’s me!”

“Then tell me what it is!” I shouted.

Jason grabbed me by the shoulders, wrenching out of my grip so hard my fingers ached. He spun me around and pinned me by the shoulders against my front door. A muscle worked in his jaw as he clenched it before fixing me with a crystal blue stare. “It’s just… seeing you beneath me—all flushed pink and panting, your eyes hooded and staring up at me… seeing you like that… I just felt myself fall in love with you!”

If he hadn’t pinned me against the door I probably would have fallen over from shock. My mouth definitely fell open. “Jay… I…” I breathed.

Still holding my shoulders, he spun me around so I was away from the front door and moved to shove his jeans into his backpack.

Before he could, I threw reservation to the wind.

I grabbed his shoulders, forced him to turn and face me, moved my hands to the back of his head, and pulled him down to kiss me.

Our mouths crashed together hard enough to make my front teeth ache, but I didn’t care. My heart leapt into my throat and I almost melted as his arms circled my waist, pulling me closer, so our torsos were pressed against each other. My eyelids closed as I sighed. We were both breathing hard, air from our noses warm against each other’s skin. Holding my waist in both arms, he turned and pinned my back against the door again.

“Oh, God…” Jason breathed against my lips. He kissed me again and I moaned. He reached one hand up and tangled it in my hair. He could palm the back of my skull as though it were a basketball. His fingers were warm against my scalp.

When he pulled his lips away from me, I groaned quietly in complaint.

“We—we should not be doing this,” he whispered, shaking his head. The white streak at the front of his hairline flopped back and forth with the movement. I wanted to reach my fingers up and twist that streak between them. But I didn’t.

“Why not?” I replied, just as breathless.

“We’re friends. This isn’t us.”

“You just said that you just barely fell in love with me.”

“I did. But I’m not willing to ruin the good thing we’ve had going on here for six years.” He panted, shoulders heaving up and down, as he reached up and took my hands away from his face, gently dragging them by the wrists. “You’ve been the best friend I’ve been able to keep longer than a year or two. I can’t… I can’t just… this isn’t about what I want.”

“I’m the one who kissed you,” I pointed out. “What does that say about what I want?”

“It’s not just about wants,” he said. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Us being together is dangerous? To whom?”

“To you.”

“Why would it be dangerous for me?” I pushed.

He let me go and spun away from me. He looked like he wanted to shout and rage—maybe throw something—but he just clenched his fists and panted.

When he finally turned back to face me, he’d calmed down a little. “It’s dangerous… because… I… oh, Bruce is gonna kill me…” he whispered, shaking his head again. “Because I… am… the Red Hood.”

Two big confessions in one night. I felt a little dizzy and remembered to breathe.

“Red Hood. As in… the vigilante. And… the crime boss.”

“Vigilante, yes. Crime boss days are behind me. I was newly-back-from-the-dead and not in a stable mindset when I became a crime boss.” I decided not to ask about that. He huffed and sat on my coffee table, instead of the sofa, rubbing his temples. “And I wasn’t going to tell you about it, by the way. You’re the only normal friend I have right now. But it’s too dangerous for us to be together. If any of the rogues in this city knew I had someone I cared about as much as I care about—as much as I love you… you would not survive to the end of the year.”

I crossed from the front door to the sofa and sat on the sofa cushion closest to him, setting my hand on his knee. “Jay, I… I’m willing to risk it. To be with you. We just need to be careful—”

“I’m not willing to lose you. I would have been terrified before tonight if someone worse than me caught you. Knew you were just a friend. Now, though? Now, I don’t know what I’d do if you were captured, and that scares me even more. I saw you under me in that bedroom and I saw a future that was good—for the first time in the nine years since I was resurrected—but I can’t let that be my future. For your sake.”

I bit down on my tongue to keep from shouting. But I did tighten my grip on his knee hard and snap, “Get over yourself, Todd. You’re not the only one who gets to make this decision.”

“No, but apparently I’m the only one who can see things objectively enough to make the wise decision.”

It was my turn to want to throw something. “Jason. Peter. Todd. I don’t care about the danger. And I know you do. But do you know what it’d do to me, knowing that you love me and I feel the same, but you won’t let me be yours? Do you know what it would do to you? I know what it would do to me. It would eat me up inside day in and day out. I would sit here dying for you, waiting for you to come to your senses and carry me back into that bedroom to stay in there all night. But you never would. And I would just wait. I’d never date anyone else. If I tried, all I’d be doing was wishing they were you.

“You and I are cut from the same cloth. Some people are just born to sacrifice. To give up what they want—what they need—for the sake of other people. It’s the only choice we’re ever given, so it’s the choice we make over and over and over again. Sometimes people will split others into Givers and Takers. Those of us born to sacrifice are a step beyond even Givers. We’re the ones who give up everything for others. I’ve done it with my family my entire life. Everyone else always wanted so strongly that my only option was to give up my own. You’re the same, I see it every time I see you with your brothers.

“Jason, it’s time for us to Take. It’s time to let life give us something. This is the moment to be selfish. To put aside Batman and his zealous crusade for one damn moment and let yourself be happy.” I dug my fingernails into his knee through his sweats. “Be selfish for once, Jason.”

He finally looked up at me, eyes meeting mine. “I can’t,” he said.

I clamped my mouth shut and sighed loudly through them. “Yes, you can. If you’re waiting for my consent, you’ve more than got it. I’m telling you now to give yourself consent to want. To take. Get over this hold out that a double life has on you and—mmph!”

He cut me off by slamming his lips against mine, surging off the coffee table and straddling me on the sofa. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled me to one side, sitting on the sofa and guiding me to straddle himself. His hands were splayed over my shoulder blades. I twisted his white streak through my fingers. Our breath shuddered in and out of our lungs. I parted my lips slightly and ran the tip of my tongue over the seam of his lips.

They opened immediately and let me in. I sighed out my nose. “Please ruin our friendship,” I breathed into his lips. “This is so much better.”

He snickered out his nose, smiling. “Does your consent to let me want you include me carrying you back into that bedroom and neither of us leaving until dawn?” He nodded toward my room.

My body shivered. Not from cold. Excitement. Electricity.

“Definitely,” I said breathlessly.

His hands slid from my shoulder blades and down to my legs. He held them and stood up. I hooked my ankles around his back, locking my arms’ grip around his neck.

He carried me to my room, kicked the door shut, and laid me gently on the messed-up bedsheets and disarrayed pillows. On all fours above me, my legs around his waist, he kissed me. Gently, at first, but he quickly grew hungry. His hands worked their way under my shirt, callused palms scraping slightly against my skin.

“Still okay with this?” His voice was barely more than a hoarse whisper.

“Oh yeah,” I breathed, unable to even speak loud enough to be heard from inches away.

He smiled. Wicked delight flickering on his face. “Well, get ready for me to call you mine. Because I am all yours.”

I smiled. “I’m yours, Jason.”