#I still might do SOME on the side and just not post 'em yet

[hellfollowed]

S m a l l l i l c a l l ~

my motivation for drafts are just meh... but I still wanna write sooooo. Like this and I'll pull up on ya; it could be something from ya wishlist, or ya opens or just a random lyric. I don't know, let's just do something.

[pomefioredove]

wait wait wait, your requests are open for noble bell for this weekend only? (if i got that right?!) sound perfect gimme 14 of em. anywhos if i did not getting the date wrong i have one! and if i i did please just let me shrivel up and die, thank you.

post college rollo and reader who live together as “roommates.” they’re 100% more than roommates and everyone can see it but them. rollo is probably some senator or something and insisted reader moves in with him cause he insists that since he’s making laws more just for magicless people there’s literally no where safer for them to be. just basically some domestic fluff with two people who act like they’re married and don’t even realize it. i personally think it would be way cuter to read from the perspective of a third party but if you’re willing to write this you can do it anyway anyhow and i’ll still be happy. thank you! <3

(if i got the weekend wrong i will absolutely die so please let me down gently, i am accoustic so i no no understand very basic things such as “this weekend” or “next saturday” if the day of the week is before a saturday)

oooh a bit of a future au... this is cute

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ and they were roommates

type of post: fic characters: rollo additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, kinda written from a 3rd perspective

Rollo Flamme's favoritism had never been a secret.

He might have been quiet, reserved, repressed beyond all reason, but there were some things even he couldn't hide behind his star-spotted handkerchief.

The very moment you arrived at Noble Bell College, you were his.

Rollo Flamme beheld you with a sort of reverence that could be called sacrilegious. That is to say, one had never seen idolatry until one had seen the way he looked at you, the way he touched you as if you were made out of porcelain, as if he could break you with an unclean hand and a breath.

His coldness and cordiality towards the others never changed.

For all your kindness, your smiles, your gentle touches upon his cheek that he would never have let anyone else give, you could not change him. And you did not try.

It was a tragedy in two parts.

Not that it mattered, of course. Not to you.

As far as you were concerned, the world began and end with each other. In a room full of people, mages and scholars and royalty, Rollo Flamme would still only look at you.

Nothing was confirmed. Your affection for one another was kept to lingering touches and burning glances across the long, morose hallways of Noble Bell.

If anyone had asked, and they certainly did, Rollo's handkerchief would come to sit over his mouth and he would remind them that gossip is unbecoming.

And to be decent, thank you.

Yet the rumors could never be smothered, and they lingered after Rollo's first graduation, and another, and to his seat on the Fleur City Council.

You lived with him.

You lived with him, in his family home.

And he would continue to deny anything romantic, giving the same excuse that he had since Noble Bell, that you simply had no one else to look after you, and it was his duty as a civil servant to see to your care.

Which was utter bullshit.

But, perhaps, bullshit that you both believed.

Outside of the council, it was rare to see him alone. When he went out, he went out with you. When he attended public events, you walked by his side. When he worked at home, you sat in his study, by the fireplace, as if you had always belonged there. With him.

Rollo would excuse himself from small talk and after-hour business like so:

"It's been lovely talking to you, Senator, but I'll be late for dinner,"

"Please, come by my office first thing tomorrow morning. I'm expected at home,"

"I'll have to be going, now. I have an excursion on the town tonight. With whom? Well, whom else?"

It became widely accepted, amongst his colleagues and the public, that Rollo Flamme was married. One might not have guessed, of course, from his cold demeanor, but rumors of the magicless alumni from Noble Bell that he so adored smoldered.

Rollo did not concern himself with the whispers or the knowing looks his colleagues gave each other, until a warm day in late March where a well-meaning secretary from another branch asked if he had any children.

"Children?" he had scoffed. "Why would you ask such a thing?"

The poor secretary looked like he had seen a ghost. "Well... you're married, aren't you?"

"Absolutely not. What gave you such an idea?"

And he seemed reluctant to answer.

Rollo had gone home that night with much on his mind. When you asked him if anything had happened at the council, he said "Nothing eventful".

To Rollo, who had lived in Fleur City, lonely yet not alone, for so many years without a kindling of friendship and not a thought on romance, he had never once questioned your relationship. You were his companion. His first, and last. That's all that matters.

Isn't it?

He could ask for nothing more than you. Your voice, your smile, your hands and warmth mingling with his. He was happy with you. Your friendship is enough for him.

Isn't it?

Despite what he tells himself, that night, when you sit close to him in front of the fire, reading a book he recommended simply because he recommended it, Rollo finds himself looking at you twice as much as usual.

He puts an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side, and you stay there, as if you had always belonged there. With him.

[choslut]

ok ok what do you think cho’s biggest turn ons are? i feel like he’d be really into thighs. like hands on you at all times, thumbs tracing circles. and when he’s between your thighs, oh, he could die there happily. squeeze his head and he’a smiling up at you all love dopey while eating you out like his life depends on it. pull his hair a little too.

you funny little runt (affectionate) this is EXACTLY what my upcoming choso event fic is about

BUT YES I WANT TO EXPAND ON THIS choso is definitely a thighs kinda guy. he’s not too experienced in the whole penetrative sex thing (since he’s like a 150 y/o virgin in my head) so in between your thighs is his place to be !! i can imagine him starting off innocent and leaving shy lil kisses on em before slowly making it more heated… flipping onto his tummy and sliding his hands up your shirt as he starts to stroke your sides …

(nsfw utc, minors + ageless blogs dni please !!)

you start to notice him a little more when he starts nosing at your clit through your panties. his hands have your thighs in a death grip as he tries to ground himself, his nose taking in deep gulps of your scent as he starts to rut into the couch as pathetic little whines leave his lips. he’s such a massive loser, can’t even use his words and ask for what he wants and only looking up at you with those tired eyes of his, practically begging for your approval.

and when you slip your hands through his dark locks and pull him closer, choso is a GONER. he’s desperately pushing the seat of your panties aside, tongue flicking at your clit as his nails dig into the soft flesh of your thighs. you’re moaning and groaning and gasping for air but he doesn’t let up, instead looking up at you again with his lips buried in your lower ones.

choso can be very selfish, too, even though he doesn’t let it on. you’ll be begging him to stop for a little and just give you a breather, but with the way your poor cunny is responding, he thinks you still want him and continues to eat you out with the dopiest smile on his face. he might even introduce some fingers too, but his tongue is doing most of the action, and he’s actually encouraging you to use his face to get off.

so, even though you’re nigh overstimulated, you tug on his hair, pulling him further into your cunt as you grind out yet another orgasm. choso is elated, groaning into your cunt before cumming in his pants like a fucking degenerate, staining his joggers and making the bed all messy with his cum before finally (and reluctantly) pulling away from in between your legs.

choso 100% believes that his place is in between your legs, pleasuring you and doing nothing else.

a/n : THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK BABIEEE I CRAVE INTERACTION (that isn’t hateful anons) please please please look out for when i post my choso fic though, it’s basically about this except he also talks to your pussy (that’s right, talks TO it. he’s such a loser ohmygoddfddd)

[am000risbest]

Hay! Heh, I am a fan about your post, and i was wondering if you can do a bakugou x y/n post where they are 25 and have a 6 year old son named kanji that looks and acts like bakugou, and they are at a grocery store and kanji sees a toy and makes a BIG tantrum embarrassing Y/n, and bakugou let's out his strict father side, aka bakugou is 1 hero, so... yeah.... rich.. THANK YOU 😭

Yeah for sure! And thank youvsosososo much,I really appreciate it. As always,have a good read and enjoy!

You,your husband and kanji,your angel of a child were doing regular grocery shopping before passing the toy section.

Kanji would then go over to grab a toy or two and bring it back to you.

“Mama look,can I have these? Pleaseeeee?”

Kanji would then proceed to give you the so called “puppy eyes” but you knew good and well they didn’t work anymore on you.

“No kanji,sorry bud,maybe next time,me and your papa are real busy and can’t spend time or money on toys”

sure you guys were rich but you or Katsuki didn’t want kanji to be a spoiled child that was entitled.

So you both kept him without knowing just exactly how much money was in your back account,and referred from spending so much on toys,as kanji had a box full of them.

“Mama please! I’ll be good I swear! I really want them! I don’t have these all might toys yet!”

“Sorry kanji it’s a no.”

“Mama! Please!”

“Kanji I said no,stop asking.”

“I want them!”

“I know you do,but it doesn’t change the fact that neither me or your dad will not be buying them.”

Kanjis eyes began to tear up and he slummed onto the ground still holding the little toys he had in his hands.

“No! I’m not leaving until I get them!”

“Kanji,stop making a scene and put them away.”

“No!”

kanji then began to sob,flinging his arms around as if there were no tomorrow.

“Kanji tetsu bakugou you get up right now.”

Kanji knew that when you said his full name he was in trouble,but he didn’t care,not when there was an all might trophy toy in his grasp.

“Noo mama! I want them!!”

Kanji was persistent with his cry’s,and Katsuki was already on his way to get his little devil child to calm down.

Katsuki was busy getting produce from a few aisles away before hearing cry’s and little distant yells from you.

“Ah shit,bet he’s acting up again.”

Kanji had almost gotten out of the “toddler crying stage” even though he just turned six,he still sometimes acted like he were 3 years old.

Katsuki put the items you had made him get before a random girl walked up to him and asked for his number.

“Hi dynamite! I was wondering if I could get your number?”

She looked eccentric,but that was quickly shut down by his rbf.

“I have a wife,and kid. I don’t know where you’ve been but if you don’t know that then I obviously don’t talk about them enough,outta my way.”

Katsuki then left the girl alone with a surprised look on her face before leaving.

Katsukis steps were steep,walking fast but not running,because if you guys were in trouble he knew you could handle the both of you and kanji.

“Mama ple-ease!” The hiccups were now apparent and in kanjis way of speech.

“Kanji,I said no.”

Kanji didn’t look at you,just staring at the all might toys he cry’s for.

“But mama!!”

“Get up and put em away”

“Papa I want them,can I have them please?!”

Kanji looked desperate and he definitely looked as if he had a tantrum over it.

By the time Katsuki had reached were you both were,people were already staring.

“No,now get up,clean your tears and put those stupid toys away.”

Kanji didn’t say anything,looking intimidated by katsukis “dad stare” and his deep,rasp voice.

Kanji then got up and walked to where he had gotten the toys from,and walked over before cleaning his tears with his long sleeved shirt.

“Atta boy,now go get us some eggs from the dairy section okay?”

“O-okay papa.”

Kanji stumbled a bit before walking over in sights view,grabbing the eggs and walking back,handing Katsuki the eggs.

“Good job,now I want you to say sorry to mommy for making a scene okay?”

“Sorry mama..”

“It’s okay baby.”

Although he had often tantrums like this,you just couldn’t handle these like Katsuki could.

Kanji then proceeded to jump into the shopping cart,this was a thing he’d do when his tantrums would get stopped,so you and Katsuki didn’t mind because he was right in front of you and in safe sight.

“Dad mode huh?”

“Just doing my job,you know that.”

“Either way,thank you. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

“It’s me,I was the same way with my old ma. Always throwing tantrums.”

You and Katsuki both look at kanji,a spitting image of Katsuki.

“Two peas in a pod.”

You said as you looked into katsukis eyes with a sense of wonder and curiosity as to how you got so lucky to have a good husband.

And a great child,even if he doesn’t act like it sometimes,you were still truly grateful.

You and Katsuki continued to do your grocery shopping this time,hand in hand.

[onthewaytosomewhere]

thanks for the tags @cha-melodius @eusuntgratie, @kiwiana-writes, @firenati0n, @run-for-chamo-miles

(snatching the open tags from @caterpills, & @alasse9 while i'm at it)

your girl wrote so much this year ... 349 K words in 58 fics and 14 collections of ficlet friday ficlets (some of which have or are in the process of becoming actual full fics lolz) and a bunch more words in WIPs (40 or so in the folder) that are still waiting for me to just finish them (or come back to them) already! lolz - I wrote in 3 fandoms and 15 different pairings that have been posted this year and a couple others that didn't get there quite yet) - i've officially posted the last of my fics for the year so here we go

so this is a lot of fic listed here so we're gonna so put it behind a cut

JANUARY

Ring on His Finger, Putty in His Hands (RWRB, firstprince, 2.9k, E) - engaged boys that i had so planned to make a series and the rest of the ideas are still sitting in my WIP folder lolz

FEBRUARY

the second hand unwinds (RWRB, firstprince, 3.6k, G) - girldads fic for Hey Sweetheart challenge

i've got you acting like you want more (RWRB, firstprince, 3.3k, E) - brownstone era pre-engagement - the boys re-uniting after a week apart fic also for the Hey Sweetheart challenge

- like the way you work it - (RWRB, firstprince, 3.4k, E) - smut where Henry takes care of Alex

Setting The Bar High (RWRB, firstprince, 2.3k, E) - the boys celebrate their first birthdays in Texas (Becz bday fic)

MARCH

gotta sign 'em all (RWRB, firstprince, 6k, T) - fic inspired by TZP and his fascination with a lil pink book and the way he's so damn ACD-coded

APRIL

Something in your mouth (RWRB, fristprince, 3.7k, E) - fic inspired by the Nickelback song - Alex sees Henry at a party with a sucker in his mouth and needs to experience that mouth

baby just say yes (RWRB, fristprince, 20.6k, E) TSwift fairytale done for the brownstone's eras tour challenge (this was my first firstprince fairytale but i have plans for different one lolz - have a desire to do it better lolz)

MAY

Makin' memories I might remember (RWRB, firstprince, 7k, E) - the first of my not-so-much one night stands fics - this one has alive arthur and has the boys falling in luv with their one night stands

just a bit of fun (RWRB, firstprince, 2.7k, fic for Adina's bday - this all started from a silly convo and then became fic lolz

JUNE

and fight the break of dawn (RWRB, liam/pez, 6.6K, E) a southern philanthropy not-so-much one night stand fic (2nd in series)

JULY

2 is better than 1 - 3 is better than 2 (when we’re back at 2 wanna stay there with u) (RWRB, alex/henry/pip & firstprince, 19.5K, E) this is that alex/henry/pip (fristprinceS) incest-y fic i wrote for Tiff

my slutty royal (RWRB, firstprince, 1.1K, E) this was an inspired by art fic - strawberry helados by papiercranes

nights at the moonlight coffee shop (RWRB, firstprince, 15.1k, E) my werepire all-night coffee shop au for ficwip dark & cozy challenge

AUGUST

in the kitchen, at kensington, with those threadbare pajama pants (RWRB, alex/shaan, 1.2K, E) first in the shaan srivastava is too hot for his own good series - alex "beats it" to thoughts of shaan and his sexy pajama pants

bringing home silver (RWRB, fristprince, 7.7K, E) alex/henry olympics engagement fic (w/a side of southern philanthropy)

I'm gonna be a mighty king … (RWRB, firstprince, 878 words, T) just a silly fic inspired by a QOTD from a discord group

seeking the (sex) services of a witch (RWRB, firstprince, 4.5K, M) fic for ficwip 5K challenge - witch Henry helps out an Alex that may have been cursed

SEPTEMBER

a hug in clothing form (RWRB, firstprince, 3.2K, E) Oodie fic inspired by art - this lovely piece by Ash

in my dreams, at oxford, still with those damn pajama pants (RWRB, firstprince & henry/shaan, 3.6K, E) fic for the shaan srivastava is too hot for his own good series - henry tells alex about some dreams he had and that time he drunkenly hit on shaan - alex seduces it out of him

it's times like these you learn to live again (9-1-1, buddie (at the end), 4.4K, M) streetfigher!Buck buddie fic - came from combining 2 ficlet friday prompts

What if I say I love you (RWRB & 9-1-1, alex/buck, 2.8K, T) firstfire fic - meet the 'rents and "launching their relationship publicly"

on the kiss cam with you (RWRB, firstprince, 1.6k, T) another fic inspired by art - this comic piece by firstprnnce

thoroughly appreciated (RWRB, firstptince, 1K, M) a fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt “Did you get my note?” & secrets

help me forget for just a bit... (RWRB, firstprince, 1.2K, E) fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt silver & hurt/comfort - alex comforts henry with his mouth after he's had a rough day

you're still written in the scars on my heart (RWRB, firstprince, 2K, T) fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt “I can’t do this again” & hot or cold

OCTOBER

soulmates, star wars, and insufferable aresholes (RWRB, firstprince, 1.8k, M) soulmates fic where alex spoiled the death of han solo in his first words to henry - firstprince week fic

love & family is all we need ... (RWRB, firstprince, 953 words, G) Alex helps Henry through a memorial service for Arthur Fox - fox family feels abound - firstprince week fic

Schlorp of True Love, a Fairytale (RWRB, firstprince, 6.3K, E) a crackfic co-write with Mags and Tiff - this is what comes from when we put late night rambles into a doc lolz (soulmates but make it enormous dicks and stretchy holes)

But the words that he was whispering I couldn't stop from listening (RWRB, liam/pez, 4.7K, E) oh what is that i wrote another southern philanthropy - yes, of course! - another installment of my not-so-much one night stands series

these go in the keep pile (911, bucktommy, 1.8k, E) buck finds his old cowboy hat and puts it to good use OR my save horse ride a cowboy bucktommy fic

just a bit of full moon fun (RWRB, firstprince, 9.2K, E) werepire full moon sexin' - sequel to nights at the moonlight coffee shop fic

it takes everything i have not to melt (RWRB, firstprince, 1.4K, T) a first date college au firstprince fic for all-ships ship week

not because of some grand romantic declaration but because it feels right (RWRB, liam/pez, 1.2K, T) a southern philanthropy fic about a quiet night in and liam's feels

how meaningful the silences (RWRB, liam/pez, 1.2K, T) pez's pov of that domestic southern philanthropy

is this décor or a sex toy? (RWRB, firstprince, 2.8K, E) a silly lil fic that starts with pez sending the boys things for their new house and ends with them in bed (of course)

she has feelings about this, complicated ones (RWRB, junora, 1.8K, T) ooops! there's just one bed for all-ships ship week

not just a possibility, not just a dream (RWRB, firstprince, 5.1K, M) part 3 of werepire firstprince - this one with an adorable shifter kit that they adopt

NOVEMBER

I hope that someone gets my… (RWRB, firstprince, 12.9K, M) my AWY submission - message in a bottle fic

leaving no doubt that he owns this moment (RWRB, firstprince, 2.9K, M) alex lures henry to a victoria secret show and surprises him (inspired by a tumblr post that i rambled in tags on)

"Wanna get out of here?” (RWRB, alex/pez, 7.5K. E) a pez/alex college au bar hookup

Say that again (RWRB RPF, TZP/Clifton, 1.3K, E) so ... i ventured back into RPF as happens sometimes lolz - just pure smut

souls are not bound by simple explanations (RWRB, fristprince, 8.8K, T) A platonic soulmate fic where Philip is a good brother and Alex and Henry slow burn their way to a relationship. Told from Philip's POV

let me take care of you (RWRB, alex/pez, 6.6K, E) Pez being the great friend he is takes the very best care of an in heat Alex when Henry's out of town

gonna need you to tell me what you want to happen here (RWRB, firstprince & alex/pip, 7.8K, E) Pip reminisces, and Alex reveals something he'd neglected to tell Henry - pip had alex first

DECEMBER

born to ride (RWRB, firstprince, 3.6K, E)  trampstamp cowboy ACD (as this was called on my doc) meets and rides Henry fic that was of course inspired by a tumblr post and rambling in tags (also Leeks bday fic)

made for moments like this (RWRB, firstprince, 931 words, G) this is just Henry being sappy about his little family around the holidays

decorations and family lore (RWRB, firstprince, 905 words, G) Alex and the Fox siblings decorating a tree while they reminisce for rwrb festive fan fest

this year feels different (RWRB, firstprince, 1.3K, E) southern philanthropy soft holiday fic for the rwrb festive fan fest

Punch him with your mouth? (RWRB & 9111, firstprince, buddie, 1K, G) alex and buck are stranded at a hotel due to inclement weather and bond over missed food and feels for the boys in their lives (rwrb fff)

a lifeline through the holiday chaos (RWRB, junora, 1K,M) junora cuddling while watching a holiday movie for the rwrb fff (and Morgan's bday)

underneath the christmas tree (RWRB, firstprince & alex/pip, 7K, E) sequel to 3some fic where martha arranges a gift for pip under the xmas tree for rwrb fff (& tiff - cuz well she get all the sequels lolz)

bonding with his 'sisters'  (RWRB, firstprince, gen, 5.5K, T) Bea recruits Alex to help her and Martha find a gift for Henry and they enjoy a little bit of pampering. Alex bonds with his "fox sisters"

definitely taking a turn for the better (RWRB, alex/liam/pez with some fristprince and southern philanthropy at the end, 2.1K, E) pez brings the boys home from a party and when alex is on his way out he meets henry and well numbers might be exchanged my last fic for rwrbfff

everything he'll ever want (RWRB, liam/pez/spencer, 1.9k, M) a lil bit of holiday tranquility, softness and luv written for The Curio Cabinet rare pair exchange

Lights, Camera, Holliday Luv (RWRB, firstprince, 52K, E) pornstar alex and former boybander henry make a holiday movie and probably fall in luv (my big dec fic - my first multichapter posted chapter by chapter)

as near to peace as he ever gets (RWRB, henry/shaan, 804 words, M) in what has become a tradition when he's sloshed henry rubs off one shaan's thigh, oxford slut phase henry, written from a prompt for the Curio Cabinet that didn't make the cut for the exchange

a moment to savor (RWRB, oscar/raf, 845 words M) bb's first oscar/raf - some kissing on the couch that raf has some thoughts and feels about, also wriitten from a Curio Cabinet prompt

okay no pressure tag ur it to @adreamareads @basil-bird @bitbybitwrites @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517

@stnichols @cricketnationrise @dragonflylady77 @dreamtigress @emmalostinwonderland

@england-would-fall @everwitch-magiks @firstprincehornyramblings @firstsprinces @forever-fixating

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @iboatedhere @inexplicablymine @jmagnabo92 @judasofsuburbia

@mikibwrites @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @nocoastposts

@orchidscript @piratefalls @porcelainmortal @priincebutt

@seths-rogens @softboynick @sophie1973 @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow

@stratocumulusperlucidus @suseagull5914 @tailsbeth-writes @taste-thewaste @thedramasummer

@thinkof-england @typicalopposite @thesleepyskipper @thighzp

@tinyarmedtrex @zwiazdziarka

[lemonjestercoffee]

horses! horses! horses! horses!

i redesigned them! with my own hcs and species design quirks. also woe, height chart be upon ye

some notes for everypony:

Twilight Sparkle- i like gold on her design but not the absurd amounts everyone else gives her for some reason, so i made it an accent color. yes her magic is gold now too because of her eyes. her hair was also inspired by Mikan Tsumiki's cause i thought a more orderly version of her choppy mess would look good on Twilight, i was right. also glasses go brr, i think she looks cute in 'em

Apple Jack- while i love the long fetlocks people give her, i can't see her actually doing that because they'd be a pain to keep clean, so i did the opposite and had her shave her feathering off. i also put her hair up to keep it off her neck so she doesn't overheat while working. her cutiemark is my favorite part cause it's that family symbol where two adults and a kid make a heart, but i made it an apple instead, does a better job at showing her emphasis on family ties. no hat cause i like the idea of her hat being from her dad, and she doesn't want to mess it up wearing it daily so she wears it exclusively to special events

Rainbow Dash- i decided to make her less of a living lightening bolt and leaned more into her lazy side, going for the type of butch lesbian look that makes her feel like she wears tank tops and hangs out in the basement getting drunk and listening to rock. i wanted her to look like the only part of her she actually puts effort into maintaining is her wings

Fluttershy- i take great enjoyment in making Flutters a fucking lumbering giant compared to his friends (yes my Flutters is a guy), taking fluttertree and running with it. no notes aside from tall and green patterns and long hair and ooo pretty bronze jewelry. ig also his cutie mark is like- it was suppose to just be a paw and a butterfly but i accidentally made a parasprite with it, and instead of fixing it i just rolled with it and made it look more intentional

Pinkie Pie- THIS HORSE GAVE ME SO MUCH TROUBLE!! every part of my body was like "give her patterns! add things to her hair! it makes sense for her!!" but everything i did looked wrong and i couldn't get it to work. so i bit the bullet and made her really plain... and it worked. i don't know why but she just.... looks so much better with a really simple design, the hair texture does all the heavy lifting really

Rarity- of everyone, she's the one who'd have the long pretty fetlocks, and i decided to double down on that by not only making them so long you can't see her hooves, but also by making her have the longest and softest coat in general. she has the time and dedication to take care of such a high maintenance coat and she's gonna do it. it's even more impressive when you realize ponyville uses exclusively dirt roads. aside from that i think she deserves nice jewelry, and they use leather straps cause i think leather would be a ponyville fashion staple, she shows her hometown pride in her fashion

Spike- i thought it was weird he was so small the whole run, he should have had a growth spurt at some point imo, so i made him a bit bigger and more proportional to the older teen dragons, this is less of a redesign and more of a "make him actually grow up" thing, he's still small but not toddler small. this is the point where Twilight starts complaining about him sitting on her back cause he's getting too heavy. i also don't like how adult Spike ended up looking, but i haven't made a redesign of him yet

i have made an older alicorn Twilight design that i've been referring to as Ethereal Twilight, but i might hold off on sharing that for a while cause i have some funky hc lore ideas for the alicorns that i wanna refine a little before posting her. maybe i'll have older Spike drawn by then too, who knows

[joelsbeard]

oh em gee i’ve literally js found ur blog and i’m in loveeeeeeee

would you be willing to give us your hcs about young!joel and readers first time?? i’m such a whore for that man<33

Hihi!! Thank you you are are so sweet 😊also thank you for the ask :) the tlou fandom for sure needs more pre-outbreak!joel content!!!! I am starved for that shit. I love hot and old ass dilf joel don't get me wrong but mannnn he was so cute when he was younger 🥲 such a lil cutie.

I've never actually thought about this because my mind always jumps to once joel and reader are in an established relationship hehe or when they're dating but not quite official yet. I'm not sure about these hc's tbh, I hope you like them!!

To start off, I don't think joel was a player in high school at ALL. Though of course, with his damn looks he could be. I might even go as far as to say I think he could sometimes give off golden retriever energy? Maybe once he gets to know you. I don't think he'd be 100% golden retriever energy lol definitely not, thats tommy haha. I imagine him only having had 1 or 2 girlfriends in high school, bc like i said i don't think he'd be a player. Flirty with multiple girls at most but I think that might be pushing it.

For some reason I feel like you would be his second girlfriend lol, with the first being eh bc you know how dating is in high school. He probably would've tried some stuff with her (😡) but still inexperienced by the time he meets you.

After some time flirting, you guys go on a couple of dates and you both really really like each other, then afterwards is when you two finally decide to take the next step 🙈

He would never pressure you to do anything you don't want, because joel miller is a gentleman!!!

Your first time would probably be at yours or his house when you were able to find time alone since he would want y'alls first time to be special

The first time you see his dick you probably panic a little and he sees the blood drain from your face because he's definitely on the more gifted side (both in girth and length ;) ), but he just pulls you in close and reassures you that it's okay if you change your mind, he doesn't want to pressure you ❤️

This is the first time y'all have ever seen each other naked and he tells you "you're so beautiful" while he kisses down your neck to your chest

Ofc he makes you cum on his fingers once or twice to make sure you're ready and comfortable, and you try to reciprocate and give him a handjob first but shortly after you start he tells you to save it for another time, otherwise he'll bust a nut before he even goes inside you because he's so horny for you LOL

You struggle a little when he first pushes inside you because he's just so big, and he tells you "take your time baby" while rubbing his thumbs across your cheeks and kissing your forehead and nose as you take more and more of him

Once he bottoms out you both sigh and you tell him to give you a minute as you adjust to him, ofc he does as you ask but you can tell he's eager to start moving inside you and he almost starts shaking with the anticipation hahahah

You have your legs wrapped around his back as well as both arms, with one hand cradling the back of his head and tangled in his soft hair as you hold his head down to yours, and he's holding himself up above you with his forearms caging your head in

Once you get used to feeling him inside you, you tell him he can start to move slowly, so he just rocks back and forth in you while y'all are making out and grinding on each other like theres no tomorrow LMAO

He lets you finish first but he comes almost right afterwards inside you, and then you guys are just laying there in your post-nut bliss✨ before he slides out of you and gets a towel to wipe you down ❤️

Then you just lay in bed together and cuddle and kiss each other as he asks you "was that okay?" and you hold his adorable face in your hands and say "it was perfect" and give him a lil kiss on the nose because he's so cute

After that, y'all be fuckin like rabbits for sure LMAO until your last days 🙏🏼 HHAHAH

I hope I did your thoughts justice hehe, i was NOT expecting to write this much lol

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

HEYYYYY

Guess who got permission from @colemorrison to write a continuation of a request I did

ME!

And that's what I'm gonna do. Get ready for the silly fellas cause it's coming

I love him so much guys

I'm mentally unwell

When Junkrat and Roadhog left you, you were practically dead. Hell, you thought you were dead.

Especially when a certain angel came to save you.

Overwatch wasn't even supposed to be there, but Cassidy heard rumors of two certain people being there and he wanted to try his hand at stopping them. Much to Mercy's dismay. She wanted to have her time off and not have any extra side projects. But she couldn't let Cole, Tracer, and D.va go without a healer.

Damn them and their need to be heros.

Which is what leads to now. The gaurds that were previously beating the shit out of you were long gone, being questioned by Cassidy. They pointed him over to you, bleeding on the ground with your life practically oozing away from you. He rushed to get Angela the moment he saw the blood.

"Don't bother! They're practically dead anyway. And besides, the world'll be better without 'em. Filthy criminal," one of the guards called out.

That didn't stop Cole, though. He ran to get Angela, and she ran with him over to you.

When the angel came into your view, you were sure that you were dead. "Huh. Didn't think I'd get into Heaven," you said. Your voice was hoarse and damaged, which shocked you. "Oh. Guess I don't get magically fixed when I die."

"Well, you ain't dead yet, kid," Cole said.

"Roll them over, Cole. I need to see the damage," Mercy commanded.

You couldn't help but laugh slightly, which had pain wracking through your body.

While the doctor, who's name you learned was Mercy through the shouting of a British woman, fixed you up, all you could think of was Junkrat.

Jamison.

He asked you to call him Jamison.

You couldn't help but wonder if he got out. He had to have. Or else your distraction would have been for nothing.

"-with me?"

"What?"

"I asked if you were with me, kid. Look like we lost you for a sec," the cowboy said.

"Oh. No, I'm alive. Just thinking," you responded vaguely.

Mercy shook her head and continued healing you. "Well, try not to look dead while doing so."

The rest of the time spent healing you was in silence. Well, silence from the three of you. D.va and Tracer were busy lecturing the guards for beating you within an inch of your life and then insisting that you didn't deserve medical attention.

For such small women, they were horribly scary.

When Mercy was done, Hana insisted on taking you back to Gibraltar with them. "We can't just leave them here, Angela. Not when these guards might just try and kill them again. We have room on the ship, we might as well take them back. It'll give you time to check on them, too!"

The older woman sighed and looked to Cassidy. "Do we have room on the hovercraft?'

"We always have room, Angela."

Mercy sighed and looked back to Hana. "Fine. But you're going to be the one to change their bandages on the flight back."

The streamer jumped up and down with joy and helped you onto the hovercraft. You didn't understand what made her so excited. Maybe she was just on that post rescue high and would realize that dragging you along wasn't the best idea.

The hovercraft ride was boring. The cowboy slept, Mercy did paperwork, and Hana just played games the whole ride. Until you needed your bandages changed. Then she changed them for you and went right back to her games.

Gibraltar was pretty empty for how big it was. But there was still plenty of people there to talk to you. They were all waiting at the landing pad, greeting Cassidy as he got off. Before too many people could ask him things, Cole spoke up to get everyone's attention. "Listen up, y'all. We got a new person coming through with us. They aren't officially a member yet, so please don't question them about stuff like that. Just give 'em space since they'll be recovering from some pretty nasty injuries."

Everyone nodded and murmured in agreement. When you came out of the hovercraft, partially leaning on Mercy for support, a murmur rippled through the crowd.

Still, they let you go through to the medical bay without issue. You got plently of weird looks, though. Mercy set you up in a private room, connecting fluids to you and changing your bandages one more time before leaving you for the rest of the day.

Your time in that bed was spent thinking of Jamison. Had he gotten back to the safehouse okay? Was he thinking of you? Had the cops caught him and Roadhog?

The last thought made you near hysterical. You didn't want to think about that.

Sometimes Mercy came and checked on you. She would take you to the bathroom and leave you meals to eat. She even let you take a walk around the base.

Lots of people looked at you while you took that walk. It was well known who you were, and why you were there, at that point. D.va and Tracer smiled at you and waved.

You didn't wave back.

All you could think was if Jamison and Roadhog were breathing this same air. If they had the opportunity to do that of their own free will.

The endless amounts of tears that you shed after that thought is what made Mercy take you back to your room.

Even after your injuries healed, you didn't leave your room in the medical bay. You couldn't find the will to.

"Y/N, you need to go and socialize with everyone else," Mercy said from the door of your room.

"No."

"Yes. It isn't healthy for you to stay in here all the time."

"And it's healthy for everyone to look at me weird and question me?"

"They won't do that!"

"Yes they will. That's what they did last time I left."

"They were concerned because you suddenly burst out crying. We still need to talk about that, by the way."

You just turned your back to the door and started ignoring her.

Angela sighed and sat down on the chair next to your bed. "Y/N, I understand that you don't want to. I don't know what's making you act like this, what you went through before we found you, but you need to talk to us. We just want to help."

The two of you stayed silent for a while before you spoke up. "Please leave."

Angela sighed and got up, walking over to the door. Before she could leave, though, you called out to her. "I'll be out for dinner. Could I sit with you and Cole?"

A smile graced her lips and she nodded before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Angela was starting to worry when you didn't immediately show for dinner. Everyone was eating in the cafeteria, having already gotten their food. You were late.

"Calm down, Angie. They'll come when they're ready. Might not be today and that'd be fine," Tracer said as she ate her soup. Mercy sighed as Cassidy agreed.

But then you walked through the door, your hospital gown hanging loosely over your clothes. Everyone stared at you as you sheepishly walked up to the table and sat down next to Cassidy.

The rest of dinner went fine. You ate with other people for the first time in just under a year and things were going smoothly. Until you thought about Jamison.

Was he able to eat like this? Was he even still alive?

Tears started to well in your eyes and you could feel the sob lodging itself in your throat. It was about to escape before Cassidy put a hand on your shoulder and quietly said, "Come take a walk with me."

You obliged and stood up, Cassidy's arm wrapped around your shoulder as he guided you out of the room. Everyone's eyes on you made you want to shrivel up and die like you should have back in that heist.

You hadn't even realized that Cole had led you outside until you felt the breeze against your face. "What's going on, kid?"

"I-" you cut yourself off quickly. Did you really want to talk about it? To tell him about something that could risk Junkrat and Roadhog?

"You can tell me anythin' you need, I promise. Everything will stay between us."

With that, you told him everything. Everything from how you met Junkrat and Roadhog to how you risked your life to save them.

When you were done, Cole pulled you into a long hug. No words were spoken as you walked back to the cafeteria. You ate peacefully, not having the weight of everything that happened finally off your chest.

It took another couple of months for anything else to happen. You slowly started to work your way into regular life, eating in the cafeteria and watch practices and trainings.

Everything was fine. You even started sitting with Hanzo and Genji instead of Mercy, Cole, and Tracer. Until two certain someones came into the base.

Junkrat and Roadhog had been recruited. Somehow.

You didn't even realize it was them. You just thought it was two other suckers who didn't have anywhere else to go. You'd be damned if they were going to be taking your room, though.

Tracer was giving them a tour when he came up to your room. You were the only one who hadn't met them, opting to stay in your room, so Lena brought them to you.

Lena knocked on your door, and you reluctantly got out of bed to answer. When you opened the door, you were greeted by the sight of someone you never thought you'd see again.

"Jamison?"

"Y/N?"

You stared for a second, not knowing what to do. Before you could act, though, the bomber jumped onto you and started babbling apologies.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wanted to go back for you, I really did. But I didn't and I'm sorry and oh my god I can't believe your alive. I was so scared that they had killed you and when the overwatch agents got there I was so convinced that you were an undercover agent and they had come to collect your body. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry." Jamison babbled and babbled, not giving you the chance to say anything.

"Does he always do this?" Tracer asked.

Rodhog sighed and nodded before picking Junkrat up off of you. It gave you the chance to get back up and look at Junkrat. "It's okay, Jamie. I gave myself up for a reason. I love you and was willin to die to let you go. Now, why don't you continue your tour with the big guy and we'll talk later?" You pressed a small kiss to his cheek, getting soot on your lips in the process, before shooing him off.

"That's the most I've ever heard them talk," Tracer admitted as they walked back to the main room.

[juliusxxxxxx]

Deadbound

Look at this man. His legs crossed, resting his hands on his lap. His hair hid under the cattleman hat. Dusty, dirty mousey blonde. He had freckles, kissed by the poisonous sunlight of the wild. He kicked his boots mindlessly, a silent protest for the wait. The spurs shone under the flickering candlelight, blinking like an evil eye. He wore a red shirt, a signature of the gunslinger, along with a tattered striped shawl. The shirt had dark spots, some say the red covered the blood he spilled. He smelt of gunpowder. Nothing more, nothing less.

The saloon was holding its breath. All eyes directed toward the shabby table, toward the man and the gunslinger sitting across. An empty revolver rested on the tabletop. A couple bullets were standing beside it.

“Do it,” shouted the crowd, “we ain't have all night long.”

The gunslinger raised his dark pupils toward the shouter. He laughed.

“I’m letting the poor fool go first.”

“Coward, I say.” The shouter spat on the floor, pouring himself another shot.

The man snatched the revolver and loaded a single bullet. All the betting was done, and now it was time for the gamble. He spun the cylinder and pointed the muzzle toward his temple.

The gunslinger laughed. “It begins!” He cheered.

The man pulled the trigger. No bullet came out.

“Not a wobblin’ jaw, ain't you?” Said the gunslinger.

He threw the revolver, letting it slide across the table. The gunslinger grabbed it, dropped open its cylinder, and grinned.

“This’s no fun.” He loaded another chamber, saying to himself. The saloon buzzed, “trying to be a bigger man, Grian Lunar?”

“Just Grian.” The gunslinger snapped back the loaded cylinder. “I’ll try my luck.”

Try his luck, he did. Another blank shot was fired. His grin brightened. Almost lunatic.

The silent man took over the revolver. His finger hovering above another bullet, yet he squeezed his hands into a fist and rested it down.

“I got no devil on me side, Grian Lunar.”

“Grian.” The gunslinger said. “Take it out then. I got more problems in me than a devil.”

“Problems,” said the man, “problems indeed. Someday ya die as a dog.”

“I see no confidence in a man.”

“I heard rumors,” he spun the cylinder, “ye done this to people.”

“What haven't I done?”

“Buyin’ a soul for five hundred,” the muzzle was pressing against his temple, “n’ feed from em. To feed ye wicked soul.”

He pulled the trigger.

_

The gunshot rang in the air. The gunslinger glanced at the man’s lifeless body. He rested his legs, stuffing back the revolver in his holster.

“Where’s my note?” He called. The bar dog ran to the gunslinger, handing him five green bills. He counted it, then shoved them into his shirt.

The pianist started playing again. The bar dog dragged the body away. The saloon returned to their night.

“Wicked, says him.” The gunslinger talked to himself. “One bitter individual.”

He swung open the batwing door and stepped into the cold. He found his horse beside the stable, jumped on the beautiful girl, and strolled down the old town. He spurred his horse when he spotted the desert in the distance. Tumbleweeds bypassed the horseshoes, and the chilling wind got his shawl flying.

He felt alive.

Okay so here me out—

I had this wild west au of desert duo I might want to work on it later if I finish the one I’m writing (just trying out the style at the moment) because I want cool gay cowboys. This might be the opening scene.

So Grian was a gunslinger with a very bad gambling addiction and Scar was a snake oil salesman who’s carrying around a weird coffin in his wagon.

Grian lost all of his money from a bet and decided to take a wanted post with a huge bounty, directly ordered by the new governor in search for a suspicious snake oil salesman. The governor wanted him alive.

So the story is going to about Grian tried to kidnap Scar while fighting off his curiosity for what’s in the coffin. I’m still working on the details. I’m going to take it less seriously and have fun with it

Grian’s last name is still a working process. This one is the one I came up for my current fic and is merely a placeholder. I’m looking for suggestions.

I’m writing this down so I won’t forget I ever had the ideas later

[uselesssomebody]

𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕞𝕒𝕤 - joel miller x reader

complete masterlist | joel miller masterlist

words || 𝟚.𝟜𝕜

summary || in which the reader and ellie try to make joek the perfect christmas

a/n || i got the christmas fic out kinda on time?? i'm so shocked

➵ i will find it in myself to be consistent at some point. not yet tho. anyways this week has been hell so i'm happy i wrote something. this is not a 100% practical apocalypse christmas, but we work with what we have

➵ if you don't celebrate christmas or this fic is not for you, i'm working on a moon knight winter themed work to be posted before/at new years (with hopefully some hanukkah mentions!!) so if that interests you stay tuned!

➵ merry christmas if you celebrate! i hope you guys have had a nice ass extended weekend or are holidaying somewhere fun

➵ not edited (yet)

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff

joel had been everywhere since the outbreak started. quarantine zones in boston, traveling across the midwest, once being carted off all the way to montana. 

that didn’t change the fact that home was 2003 austin, texas. the last time his heart didn’t always race, the last place he didn’t have to sleep with one eye open. the last place he called home.

but dammit, if jackson wasn’t coming close. and why wouldn’t it? tommy was here, and ellie was - too. his heart didn’t beat like he’d just run a marathon - or from a group of raiders or stalkers. his sleep came naturally here - the bags under his eyes had began reducing. the restless nights didn’t come from flashbacks, or nightmares anymore, but rather, the woman sleeping next to him.

she always knocked out like a light after they were done, curling into the human furnace he essentially was, head finding its familiar place on the left side of his chest, his broad palm wrapped around her shoulder - pulling her closer. he didn’t mind - he got his nightly eyeful of her beauty: the peaceful expression on her face, the way her lips slightly parted as she puffed out air, the way a loose strand of hair might reach down to tickle her nose or her cheek, causing her to twitch in discomfort until he would push the offending strand back into place. 

he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head - a softness he never exhibited to anyone but his two girls - much to tommy’s chagrin. he smiles softly, lips curling as he remembers the events of the day. breakfast at the cantina, helping her help with some of the crops that the settlement was growing for self-sustenance, the both of them taking ellie to a friend’s house, enjoying lunch with her - a moment alone from the excitable teenager - before he left for his nightly patrolling duty, only to return to her and ellie a few hours later. 

a peaceful day. with the both of them.

he glances over at the large window shining the moon’s dim light into the room. it’s snowing, the white flakes reflecting the moonlight to create a glittery night sky, having already stacked onto the outdoor windowsill. 

that was one of the things that reminded him that this wasn’t austin. the *snow*. piling high on the roofs, a bitch to clear in the front of the little house the three of them shared - a chore she always managed to convince him to do. it wasn’t exactly a tough bargain: a small kiss to his lips, and a ‘pretty please?’, and - much to the amusement of ellie - he’d be out of the door with the shovel in an instant. joel liked the snow - it was, in many ways, aesthetically pleasing, if not a little inconvenient. 

and - well, a white christmas, right? who would he be to deny that beauty, especially for his favorite holiday of the year - back when things were normal. while tommy and him traveled together, though, he’d still offer an extra ration of food, reciprocated by a medkit or a bandage on tommy’s end. when he and tess were still together, they’d exchange guns. joel always got the short end of the stick - sometimes literally, once earning a pistol is exchange for a rifle. didn’t matter, though. tess was ecstatic, and it’s not like the two didn’t share.

that was one thing he was real excited for since bringing ellie here - getting her something she’d really want for christmas. and the same for her, laying next to him. using an elaborate network of spies (see: tommy and maria), he had discreetly collected the information as to what would interest them both. 

for ellie, 3 new editions of savage starlight, the joel had managed to find when he’d been assigned on runs away from the perimeter of the settlement. and for her, a cassette player, that he had tinkered with to get to work again. it had some of her favorite songs - the ones she’d heard from others after the outbreak, or the ones she’d remembered from before, and it had taken hours of looking around abandoned cars for the cassette tapes. he hoped to add to her collection for the new year, and to catch her able to actually listen to the songs she likes to hum to much in the shower, or around the house.

the only problem was… well, the atmosphere. it was a white christmas, sure, but the distinct reds and greens were missing from the town. there was a christmas tree up in the hall, but little else specifically regarding christmas, to his disappointment. maria’s explanation was to allow space for every winter celebration to breath. there was hanukkah candles around the settlement’s common areas, adding a distinct beauty in the flickering lights of the flames. similarly, kwanzaa candles were up anywhere that diwali’s clay lamps had been previously. the settlement had so many groups, that joel was sure that he missed other decorating items. and he didn’t mind a bit of it.

but he’d been so busy with everything, that he hadn’t had time to nurture the spirit of christmas that he enjoyed so much, even privately. he would have liked to wake up to a decorated tree, a flurry of red and green around the living room, but it was already christmas eve. and after the excitable day he’d had - now in the company of his love, and ellie just down the corridor, he figured he didn’t mind all too much.

he was home.

he was asleep. finally.

she sighs in relief, finally squeezing out of his snuggle. regardless of his years on the road, he was always a heavy sleeper - even more nowadays, with less apparent threats. thank god for her.

she’d had to pretend to be asleep a lot longer than she thought she’d have to, him obviously having a contemplative night before deciding to fall asleep, but she’s grateful it’s finally happened. sneaking out of the room, avoiding the floorboards she’d memorized as the creaky ones, she shuts the door with the smallest clack - but even that makes her wince. stilling for a moment to ensure joel hasn’t woken, she looks down the hall at ellie, who is similarly traversing the floor with caution. 

“he asleep?” ellie asks, and she affirms with a grin.

“out like a light.” ellie gives her a thumbs up, before they both make their way to the back door - which was perfectly larger than the front door. outside, tommy stands, looking bored out of his mind.

“jesus. what the hell took you guys so long?” he grumbles, which makes ellie giggle, muffling it behind her palm.

“he kept thinking, oh, you know how he is, tommy.” she brushes off his annoyance with a little smile, and he shrugs.

“yes, ma’am.” he salutes playfully.

“did you get it?” ellie asks excitably, and he nods, reaching around to the side of the house to procure the spruce tree - a net tied around it to ensure the branches wouldn’t hit anything. it’s about a foot taller than tommy, and it’s just perfect for the house. “c’mon, c’mon!” ellie insists in a hushed whisper, and the two of them help him with bringing the tree discreetly inside.

once it’s neatly in, tommy drops off his wrapped gift for joel, having already dropped off in the evening his and maria’s gift of the best christmas cookies - well, any cookies - ellie and her had ever eaten, and bids the two girls farewell. when the house is silent again, she looks at ellie.

“wanna do the tree, or the other stuff?” to no surprise to her, ellie’s response is immediate.

“tree."

after a half-hour of decorating and filling the living room with some semblance of christmas joy, she hoists ellie up as much as she can so the teen can place a makeshift, glittering star on the top of the tree. adorned in reds and greens, the living room looked perhaps more woodsy than like a shop display - due to the lack of a perfect tinsel replica - but the glitter and foil would have to as viable substitutes.

exhausted, the both of them sneak another one of tommy and maria’s cookies, before ellie places three gifts for joel under the tree - from the two girls and tommy - while she looks in joel’s not-so-hidden hiding spot, for all his goods he didn’t want her or ellie finding. she’d found it almost immediately after its creating though, and knew joel was hiding their gifts in there. though, as they were wrapped, they still remained a mystery to her as she placed them under the tree. 

the fruitful effort ends with a hug goodnight, before ellie wanders into her room to pass out, and she sneaks back into her and joel’s room, seeing him still in deep sleep - even snoring a little. 

with a big, fat beam on her face, she curls back up next to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and whispering,

“merry christmas, joel.”

the next morning, joel awakens to an agitated ellie tapping her foot on the floor, sitting at the foot of the bed, reading a book as she waited for him to awaken.

“oh, finally.” she sighs in relief, helping him sit up, as he wiped his eyes groggily, “c’mon, she’s making pancakes!” pancakes for breakfast was reserved for special days, and today was very special. with a half-smile, joel gets to his feet, grabbing and pulling ellie into his side my her shoulders, and hugging her tightly, ruffling her hair.

“merry christmas, ellie.”

“merry christmas, joel!” she chirps back, very animatedly. 

too animatedly.

joel’s eyes nearly bug out when they reach the living room, where this morning’s chef is standing, a big grin on her face.

“surprise!” she and ellie say in unison, as his eyes dart around to take in the christmas colors, the stockings, the - oh, the tree!

the little kid inside him was practically jumping for joy at the ornate tree that rose above a smattering of presents on the ground. 

she joins him and ellie, taking his other hand.

“like it?”

“like it? baby, i love it.” he kisses her cheek, holding the kiss, trying to convey how meaningful this was to him, and ellie playfully prods his side, pretending to cringe. in response, he lets out a big, hearty laugh - one of few - and ruffles her hair, squeezing her tighter. both, his silent thank you’s.

after a big breakfast of pancakes, they settle into the couch, gifts surrounding them. 

ellie goes first. she unwraps joel’s present to her - the new editions of the comic. she blows her lid in excitement, hugging him tightly, before beginning to wander off as she examines the comic, making the two adults laugh as they playfully beg her to come back.

then she goes. the bulky gift makes her curious, but, as the unwraps it, seeing the cassette tape, her eyes widen in shock, “baby, how on earth…?” her brows furrow as she internalizes the effort it must have taken him to collect all those songs. the looks she gives joel is nothing short of adoration, and that made every minute of the hunt worth it.

finally, it’s joel. tommy’s gift first, and it sloshes when he jiggles it. unwrapped, it’s a familiar label and liquid: a jack daniel’s old number 7, his go-to before the outbreak. surprised his little brother remembered, he grins lightly as he places the bottle beside him, looking forward to enjoying it. from her, he opens the gift to find a meticulously crafted, sewn and polished knife holster, “because i mentioned how old mine was?” he asks her softly, and she nods, with a sheepish smile, “i love it.” he affirms, tracing the edges, “my baby’s good at everything then?” he teases, and she giggles - much to ellie’s distaste.

“open mine, joel!” she insists, placing her smaller box in his arms. 

“hold on, ellie.” he laughs, taking the wrapping off meticulously. it’s an unassuming box, and, looking inside, his face sobers a little. 

it’s a watch. with a brown band, and a white dial - more importantly it works. immediately, ellie’s face falls.

“you don’t like it? i thought… you know, your watch doesn’t work, so-”

joel sighs, shaking his head as he pulls ellie to him to calm her.

“no, no - it’s not that.” he assures, throat constricting as he experiences a heartbreaking deja vu. 

they don’t know.

after a moment of silence, joel smiles.

“i think it’s great, ellie. i really like it, damn well needed a watch too - tommy always keeps me an hour and a half instead of an hour on our patrols, and i can never prove it. now i can.” he tried to diffuse the tension with a small joke, but ellie still looks a little concerned. she does too. 

joel immediately puts the watch on, but on his other wrist, leaving sarah’s watch untouched. “there.” he hums, examining the watch on his wrists.

“matches your boots,” she comments, and ellie lights up a bit.

“i did that on purpose.” joel smiles up at her.

“well thank you, ms. fashionista.” he teases, “now i don’t got an excuse to be late for dinner, huh?”

the two other finally crack, giggling a little.

“so you always know you’re late for dinner?” ellie teases, and he laughs.

“gotta give you two time to scheme alone, hmm?” he counters, “where would all these decorations have come from if y’all didn’t have a couple minutes alone at the table.” he teases.

“well, now, since you won’t be late, all three of us will scheme.”

“against tommy.” joel adds, and ellie laughs.

after a few more jokes, ellie goes to wear out her new comics, and the other two remain on the couch. lazily wrapping an arm around his neck, she hums.

“happy?”

“ecstatic.” he assures, with a content smile. she traces the new watch on his wrist - ellie’s.

“makes you look cool. like you’re a very busy man.”

“you say it like i’m not.” he jokes back, and she smiles.

“you’ve got enough time for us.” she counters, and he leans back, pulling her flush to him as he kisses her lips softly.

“you two are the only things i got time for.” he corrects. her cheeks heat.

“merry christmas, joel.”

“merry christmas.”

[verdemoth]

i cant post Tune without also posting Odyssey. do not separate.

Odyssey is an engineer, formerly the director of Mission Control, and before even that e did field work. Now, e’s supposedly retired from all duties, but Odyssey refuses to leave. E wont let the new owners run the team into the ground. (and e’s still holding onto some distant hope of finding es best friend alive, or at least closure)

-> Originally Odyssey was a field researcher alongside es queerplatonic partner Tune in their 20s, until the risks of such work became apparent. E then went on to develop systems to communicate with and coordinate the research team and monitor the Otherworld from safely on the ‘reality’ side of the portal. E established Mission Control, and led it for decades.

-> Tune and Odyssey were very close for a very long time, having met in their school years. They were best friends, partners for life, two halves of a whole. It’s been some years now since Tune’s disappearance, and Odyssey’s mostly come to terms with it, but still feels his absence keenly.

-> Odyssey’s a generally kind individual but not particularly nice. E’s gruff, immensely stubborn, with a mean sarcastic streak. Some coworkers might describe em as cantankerous. But at the end of the day e’s well-intentioned and altruistic.

-> Odyssey is very, VERY bitter about the investors who bought ownership of the team from the original founders a couple years back. E hates them. E’s just WAITING for the chance to prove there’s something unscrupulous happening, e can FEEL it. E hasn’t had results yet but the vibes are rancid.

-> Though formally retired, Odyssey continues to do much of the same work e’s been doing for decades, out of spite and because e trusts few people with the systems e built. E adamantly refuses to cooperate with anyone associated with the company, which is probably directly related to es early ‘retirement’. Odyssey’s not happy about it and won’t do them any favours.

-> Odyssey is only middle aged but e feels so much older. E’s so tired. And so worried. E hopes for the best but is always prepared for the worst.

-> Odyssey’s role as director was succeeded by Maven, who e mentored. Odyssey treats them as a ward and as a friend. E respects and trusts them, but…… When the Storm hit, it was one of Maven’s first missions directing with little input from Odyssey. It was supposed to be that, anyway, before that disaster. Odyssey doesn’t blame them for what happened, but but can’t seem to talk them out of beating themself up over it. Directing the EEG is no longer Odyssey’s job so e tries to step back and let Maven make their own decisions, but they’ve obviously not dealt well with the pressure, and Odyssey can’t leave well enough alone. E has a tendency to step in and take over es old duties at the first sign of trouble in a misguided attempt to shield Maven from the trauma of handling another crisis. E doesn’t mean to imply that they’re not capable, but unfortunately they are not helping Maven’s shattered confidence and fear of making mistakes by taking control from them.

-> Odyssey is legally blind, and though es glasses can help em make out some shapes in the right conditions, in unfamiliar spaces and bad lighting e utilizes a cane to get a feel for es surroundings. While es poor eyesight is likely hereditary, e became an amputee following a severe injury on es last field mission. E opts not to use any prosthetics, finding them uncomfortable and unwieldy. E’s often accompanied by one or both of the spider shaped robots e designed and programmed to assist the exploration team, which have been retired from the field as well since suffering some damage in the Storm. Odyssey is very fond of them.

-> The larger robot, Marie, was named after Odyssey’s cousin Mariner, who also worked for the EEG for a time. The two used to be close, but have had a falling out coinciding with Tune’s presumed death and Mariner’s retirement. Xe pushed for Odyssey to quit as well, but despite xer desperation xe wouldn’t confess why xe was so adamant about it.

-> The loss of Tune hit Odyssey very hard, and e’s become quite reclusive. E tends to stick to es room when not doing other work, and would spend a lot of time alone if not sought out by the other people who are close with em.

-> Spirit, Tune’s sibling, can probably best understand what Odyssey’s going though. The two have always gotten along well, having met through Tune. When Odyssey was injured, they requested Spirit join the team in es place, providing a glowing recommendation to the then owners. E’s always thought highly of Spirit, as a skilled and reliable member of the team (and someone e could trust to keep an eye on Tune where e couldn’t).

-> Spirit’s been different, recently. Odyssey has slowly tried opening up to them to talk about their shared loss, after es initial attempts to distance emself from the team in es grief. But any attempt seems stilted and awkward, so usually Odyssey never gets around to that part, and sticks to shallow small talk and talking At them about other problems. Honestly e just wants their company, and e feels they could use it, too. Odyssey worries for Spirit’s physical wellbeing in the Otherworld, and their mental wellbeing in the wake of losing their sibling. But they’re still capable of looking after themself, so e doesn’t push too hard. E just figures… well. Spirit probably needs the same kind of help e does, and e’s trying to be that for them.

-> If there’s a coworker that Odyssey really Does Not get along with, it’s Curiosity. In the past they’ve had a standard and respectful relationship. But with Tune M.I.A. and the EEG’s new ownership, Odyssey’s being phased out of the team though circumstance and es own actions and e’s feeling quite frustrated. E projects a lot of those frustrations into Curiosity, the new de facto leader of the field team and symbolic of the changes Odyssey rejects. Curiosity, for her part, isn’t keen on sitting around and taking flak from Odyssey.

-> Mostly they try to avoid each other, and that turns out fine. But when they do interact, Odyssey is… difficult about it. E will nitpick any plan of hers to test how it holds up, always double-checks her work, tries to pull rank/seniority regardless of relevance.. all in all, nothing malicious, but instead unreasonably hypercritical. E claims e’s only making sure she’s up to handle whatever the Otherworld throws at them next.

-> Phoenix on the other hand is a long time friend of Odyssey and Tune, having also met them through school before he dropped out. They’ve been a sturdy pillar of support for Odyssey through es grief, and regularly checks up on em to make sure es looking after emself. Though Phoenix, like Curiosity, is ambivalent about the new ownership, he is unlike Curiosity in that he is in good standing with Odyssey and is privy to sooo many rants about it. They talk often. Phoenix is really the only other person Odyssey trusts with maintaining the systems e built.

-> Phoenix and Odyssey had a brief romantic fling as young adults, which Odyssey now finds very amusing. Even moreso because Phoenix is kind of embarrassed about being ‘something of a headstrong dumbass’ at that age, in their own words. It’s one of the few things Odyssey and Curiosity (who also once dated Phoenix) can agree upon. It’s all in good fun.

[afewproblems]

In My Heart is a Memory (And There You'll Always Be) Part One

So! Awhile back now I received an anonymous prompt - which I can't post all of (yet) since it will spoil this new WIP which has gotten away from me in terms of length (as always). Needless to say we begin with Steddie childhood friends AU and continue from there!

Thank you to the nonny who sent me this beautiful prompt, I can't wait to take you on this journey!

Steve never thought it would end this way. 

He tries desperately again to loosen the fishing line that has wrapped itself around his foot, trapping him in the frigid grey water. Steve paddles up again to take a deeper breath only to find that he's unable to fully breach the surface enough to breathe.

He gulps down a mixture of water and air, sputtering as it hits his lungs and chokes his throat. He realises, deliriously, that he might actually die here, alone in the woods at twelve years old. 

This is why his mother had forbidden him from swimming in the lake, especially by himself; she had told him a million times not to go down there alone. 

Steve slips under again, watching as the last few bubbles of air fly towards the surface above him, his vision begins to tunnel as he belatedly wishes he had thought to tell someone that he was going to lovers lake that afternoon. 

Two strong hands suddenly appear on both sides of him, grasping Steve by the arms, hauling him out of the water. 

"Shit, he's caught on something, Ed, hand me my knife, hurry," a gruff voice says as Steve is dragged into a boat, he sputters and coughs, gasping for air as his lungs burn and seize.

"Is he okay?" another younger voice says anxiously. 

Steve opens his eyes just enough to find a wide pair of brown eyes staring back at him, a boy with a mop of curly hair sits beside Steve, he chews his lip nervously as the older man works on cutting away the tangle of old fishing line that had caught Steve earlier.

"This is why we always take our lines with us instead of leavin' em in the lake," the older man huffs as he severs the last knot holding Steve's leg, "he should be okay, you're lucky we were here kid".

All Steve can do is nod, his chest and throat still sore from his near drowning.

The other boy, Ed, inches closer but doesn't touch him, he looks around the boat with raised hands as though looking for some way to help.

"I think we're done fishing for today," the old man huffs, if he's anxious his voice doesn't show it, but Steve can see the worry in his dark eyes. 

"Give him your coat Ed, let's bring our catch home to warm up".

The words seem to jumpstart the other boy as he hurriedly shrugs off his jean jacket and draps it clumsily over Steve's shoulders.

"You got a name kid?" the man asks gently before his expression finally shifts to one of panic, "aw hell, we gotta warm you up, you ain't even shivering". 

"His lips are blue," Ed blurts out, his brow pinched with worry, "Wayne--"

"I see it, sit with him would ya, I'll get the engine going again," Wayne grunts out as he switches places with Eddie. The boat tips slightly as they move making Steve hiss as cold water tips over the side and onto his legs. 

"My name's Eddie," the teen yells over the roar of the engine motor as it jumps to life; he sits down on the bench across from him, "what's your name?"

"S-Steve," he manages to get out between chattering teeth, his body finally beginning to shake in an attempt to warm itself back up.

"Don't worry," Eddie murmurs sagely, "we'll take care of you, right Uncle Wayne?"

Wayne nods with a tight smile as he begins to steer the boat back to shore.

"I don't need the hospital," Steve grumbles from the back seat of the pickup truck, eliciting an exaggerated eye roll from Wayne in the rearview mirror.

Heat blasts from the vents as soon as they pull away from the dirt side road by the docks and Steve is finally starting to warm up. Wayne had helped him step his shaking limbs into his discarded clothing they found on docks, but his damp swim shorts had soaked through his jeans, leaving a small persistent shiver running through him.

"We ain't leaving it to chance kid," Wayne grouses at him, "you inhaled a lot of lake water back there and I've spent enough time in a boat to know you need to be checked out by a professional".

Steve pouts in the back seat next to Eddie who looks between Steve and his uncle with a sharp furrow between his brow.

"Couldn't we take him to our place Wayne, we can look after him there," Eddie says with a toothy grin, he winks at Steve before catching Wayne's unimpressed glare in the rearview mirror.

"No, hospital first," he grumbles but the words are without heat and if the fond smile is anything to go by, Wayne seems more exasperated than angry.

Which is good. 

Steve can't begin to picture how angry his own dad will be when he gets home. 

Maybe enough for the belt again.

He shivers again and feels a bony shoulder connect lightly with his own; Steve looks up to find Eddie staring again, this time with a shy smile.

"You good," Eddie asks, a hint of nervousness in his voice, "sorry 'bout him".

He holds up one hand to block Wayne's vision of Eddie's face and points towards his uncle into the palm of his hand, "the old man’s stubborn sometimes".

The absurdity startles a wild giggle out of Steve that Eddie soon matches.

Wayne keeps driving, his eyes travelling between the road and the rearview mirror at the two boys giggling in the backseat. Wayne shakes his head and smiles slightly as they pull onto Main Street.

"Are you at Hawkins Middle? I don't know if I've seen you there before," Eddie asks abruptly, interrupting the laughter.

"I'm going to the highschool next year which is kind of cool," Eddie continues, not waiting for Steve to answer which is almost a relief given the strange exhaustion settling in Steve’s bones the longer they sit there. 

"I heard from one of the other older kids at the tra--the park that there are a ton of clubs to join and even one for Dungeons and Dragons --you heard of it?"

Steve shakes his head, "is that like a board game or something?" 

Eddie barks out a laugh and launches into an explanation, the words tumbling out at a mile a minute to the point that Steve isn't sure what he's even talking about anymore.

"And you use your character traits to help decide what to do, then the roll you get from your dice determines if you are successful or not!" 

Steve frowns slightly, it doesn't sound like any board games he's ever heard of but it has dice, what else could it be? 

"It's hard to explain without like showing you the books," Eddie admits, picking at a stray thread from the hole in his jeans, "I'll show you later at school, maybe?" 

Steve can count on one hand the number of times he's actually been invited to hang out or play with another kid over the years that wasn't orchestrated by his mother.

He's not much for board games, but if that's what Eddie's inviting him to play, who is Steve to say no? 

"Do you get to fight Dragons? Like a knight?" Steve asks quietly, his throat still sore from earlier. He laughs when Eddie nods so excitedly his whole body practically vibrates before jumping into a new explanation of the different characters people could play.

Steve spends the whole time listening with a wide grin on his face. He doesn't think he's ever met someone who talks so much, but Eddie has so much to say and he wants to tell Steve of all people. 

He's too tired to add anything himself, the adrenalin from earlier seems to flow out of him, sinking into the back seat.

"Do you have Newson for English?" Eddie asks as they enter the hospital and Wayne takes them to the counter, he speaks with the nurse at the Emergency Room intake desk in a hushed voice, letting Steve and Eddie continue their conversation.

Steve shakes his head, feeling suddenly warm, much too warm and tired.

"Maybe we have the same lunch period, I want to show you the players handbook on Monday," Eddie practically vibrates beside him with excitement, "you can sit at my table and…Steve?" 

Eddie suddenly sounds so far away, Steve struggles to stay upright and sways heavily into the other boy's side. 

"Steve?!"

There's a commotion around him, people yelling and touching him suddenly, but he doesn't want that. He's so warm, it's hard to think, his vision begins to tunnel again.

The last thing he sees as a pair of gentle hands lay him down is Eddie worried brown eyes staring into his own as his world goes dark.

***

The first thing Steve realises when he wakes up, is that he's in a hospital bed.

The second is that he's alone.

The steady beat of the heart rate monitor almost lulls him back to sleep but he fights to stay awake. 

Steve peers around the room, spotting his mothers coat and purse on the chair in the corner. 

Shit. 

This is what he was hoping to avoid, his parents finding out he deliberately disobeyed their rules and landed himself in the hospital. 

Steve tries to sit up but the movement pulls at the strange tubing around his face and the IV in his arm. He hisses at the tug of the needle and flops back down against the flat pillow behind his head.

The heart rate monitor ticks up slightly at the movement, seemingly calling out to the nurses at the station outside.

As if on cue, a nurse steps into the room, followed by his mother. 

Diane Harrington always looked put together. Pearls, heels, never a hair out of place.

Today however, Diane's pale wane face stares at Steve in stony silence. No makeup, her hair sits flat against her head. A fine tremor runs over her clenched hands but she smooths down the front of her shirt to hide it.

"Looks like someone's awake," the nurse says with a kind smile. 

She picks up the chart at the edge of the bed as his mother walks around to the chair that has been pulled up closest to Steve's side. She doesn't sit.

The nurse is around his mom’s age, maybe a little older if the laugh lines around her mouth are any indication. Her blond hair is streaked with grey as well and pinned back to let the small white hat sit properly on top. Her light brown eyes trace over the page of his chart and a slight crease begins to form between them as she frowns slightly.

"What is it?" Diane says, the words come out smoothly; Steve tries to make eye contact with her, to see just how mad she is about this, how mad his dad will be when they get home, but she ignores his gaze.

"The doctor will be in shortly, he'll explain," she says apologetically before placing the chart back down at the edge of the bed.

"Steven," the nurse says softly as she walks towards him, on the side opposite his mother, "my name is Claudia, and myself and Doctor Sattler will be taking care of you today".

Steve nods, suddenly shy as Claudia reaches into the pocket of her white apron and shows Steve a long black tube with a shiny metal circle at one end, the other is split down the middle into two angled sections at the other end.

"Steven, this is a Stethoscope, I'm going to use it to listen to your heart and your lungs, so I'm going to need you to sit up, can you do that for me?" 

He nods and begins to shift, slowly this time to avoid jostling the IV this time. 

"Steven," Diane says sharply from her place beside the bed, she still isn't looking at him, "you need to answer when you're asked a question."

"Sorry," he mumbles, abashed at his mother's words.

Claudia's frown returns as her eyes dart between Steve and Diane, but she remains silent and simply places the stethoscope into her ears.

"This will be a little cold," Claudia warns as she lifts up his shirt to place the metal against his back, "okay, you're going to give me a big deep breath," she instructs softly, giving him a smile.

Steve breathes in, it's not painful, but there's an awful pressure in his chest that makes him wince, the strange whistling sound his breath makes also doesn't help.  

Claudia must notice because she tuts and tells him she just needs a few more breaths from him.

She moves the metal from his back to his chest and asks him to take two more deep breaths for her, on the last one his chest spasms and his throat constricts just enough to make him begin to cough horribly. 

Steve doubles over, uncaring this time of the pull on the IV, he can't seem to catch his breath this time.

Steve registers his mother and Claudia trying to speak to him and a gentle hand on his back rubbing in a soothing circle but all Steve can think is, I can't breathe, as he coughs up a glob of frothy pink liquid into the sheets covering his legs.

The steady beep of the heart rate monitor begins to increase to a constant frantic pulse, I can’t breathe, he wants to scream but his throat constricts around the words, it feels as though an elephant has sat itself in the middle of his chest as he registers something being pressed to his mouth and nose.

"Try to take a deep breath, one mississippi, two mississippi, that's it sweetheart," Claudia pats his back gently and keeps a steady hold of the mask over his face.

The pressure in his chest slowly begins to relent as he follows Claudia’s direction, one mississippi, two mississippi, in and out. The constant puff of air around his nose and mouth seems to finally be helping.

"You're going to give us even more grey hair before we discharge you huh kiddo," a new voice rumbles from the door.

Steve looks up wearily at a man in a white coat with horn rimmed glasses staring down at him. There is a kind smile on his face, much like the one Wayne had when he helped Steve exit their truck earlier that day. 

Was it still Saturday? Steve looks around again for the window, he could have sworn it was still light out.

"What are you giving him?" Diane whispers above Steve, she hazards a brief glance at him before looking back at the doctor who lifts a syringe to pump something into the IV tubing, but Steve isn’t paying attention, he’s trying to find the clock he had seen earlier on the far wall.

"Just something to help him breathe a little easier, that's all," the man says gently as he takes Steve's chart from the end of the bed where Claudia had left it.

"BP is a little low," Claudia murmurs, she lets go of the mask and lays Steve back down onto the bed, smoothing his hair back lightly as she leaves his bedside.

"Steven, my name is Dr. Sattler, I heard you had an interesting morning today?" 

Dr. Sattler gives Steve and his mother a warm smile as he places the chart back down on the bed, he eyes the machines at the bedside for a moment before taking Steve’s wrist gently in his hand and lifting the face of his watch up to meet his eyes.

He nods and lays Steve’s hand back down onto the bed, above the covers. 

Suddenly a bright light is shining into Steve's eyes, he winces slightly as it moves quickly, “Steven, can you tell me if you hit your head at all when you were in the lake today?” 

Steve tries to think back to the lake. He remembers getting his foot caught in the discarded fishing line, the feeling of water running down the back of his throat, filling his nose; the way the light began to fade as he sank down--

“Steven?” Dr. Sattler prompts again, his brow creases in the barest of frowns.

Steve swallows once and shakes his head as a shrill beeping noise fills the room, everyone flinches, whirling around to the machines before Steve's mother snatches her purse from the nearby chair and rips the buzzing pager out to turn it off.

She glares at the message, "I need to make a call, I'll be back". 

Dr. Sattler frowns but steps aside to allow Diane to sweep out of the room.

"Well Steven-"

"Can you call me Steve?" He asks, the words so quiet that Dr. Sattler and Claudia both tilt towards him to hear.

The doctor reaches for the chart again, his eyes flick to Claudia once before landing back on Steve with a small patient smile.

"Of course, Steve," he says deliberately before clearing his throat, "I'll wait for your mother to come back to go over our plan for you okay?" 

"Are you," he whispers, "am I going to need a shot?" Claudia tuts this time, coming around to the side of the bed to brush his hair away from his forehead, "you were so brave for your IV," she says brightly, "if you need another I'll hold your hand, how does that sound?" Steve blushes as his little face scrunches into a grimace. He knows he wasn't awake when they gave him the IV.

After a beat, he shakes his head, "It's okay, I'm not a baby". Claudia purses her lips and pats his hand gently, "I don't like needles either, sometimes I need someone to hold my hand, no shame in it, okay?"

Steve chews on that thought for a moment, rolling it around in his head, why would adults be scared of anything?

His dad had made it perfectly clear over the years what real men were like, and being afraid of things never once made the list.

Steve looks up at the nurse and meets her kind eyes, a softer brown than he'd ever seen before with fine lines in the corners creased into a smile.

"I'd hold your hand, Miss Claudia," Steve agrees eventually.

She smiles at him and pats his hand again before stepping away.

"I'll go find your mother, there's only one payphone on this floor so she can't be far," she asserts to Steve before making her way to the door. She whispers something to Dr. Sattler on her way out before disappearing through the door.

"While nurse Henderson tracks down your mother, I'll see if radiology has your scans ready, sit tight kiddo”.

Steve nods as the doctor tries for a small reassuring smile but the effect is lost in the tightness around his eyes. Dr. Sattler pushes open the door which swings back and forth as he disappears into the hallway, leaving Steve to lay back against the flat pillows and scratchy hospital sheets, with only the steady sound of the monitors and the clock on the wall to keep him company.  

A new wave of exhaustion sweeps over him suddenly, now that he’s alone. 

He wishes Eddie had managed to convince his uncle to let them just go back to their place, he would have been okay if they had just stayed in the truck - he probably wouldn’t have passed out if they had just gone to Eddie’s house.

Steve glares at the ceiling at the unfairness of it all, a small part of him knows that it’s for the best that Dr. Sattler and Miss Claudia are looking after him now, but what will his dad say about the hospital bills, or the bed rest?

He’s not sure how much time has passed. It’s been harder to keep track of here without a proper clock in the room but the sun has moved, carving long shadows in his room in between the copper evening light. He must have drifted off at some point since his mother has suddenly returned as well as Dr, Sattler. 

Miss Claudia is nowhere to be found and Steve finds himself feeling rather bereft at her absence. 

Diane Harrington stands beside his bed, her hands wrapped so tightly around the strap of her purse that her manicured nails dig into the palms of her hands and her knuckles have been stained white.  

Dr. Sattler stands in front of a large box affixed to the wall, it’s lit up with two translucent black and white images on it that the doctor keeps pointing to different areas of the strange lumpy white images while he talks.

“To put it simply, Mrs. Harrington, it’s not good”.

Oh.

Steve feels as though the bed beneath him has dropped away while Doctor Sattler continues speaking. 

Steve had aspirated a lot of water into his lungs while in the lake and was already in the beginning stages of pneumonia because of it. So Steve would need to stay on his course of antibiotics and oxygen for at least a week to let his lungs heal and rest as much as possible. 

Diane’s expression does not shift during the conversation, remaining artfully neutral the entire visit. She nods and asks questions about Steve’s medication and when he would be allowed to come home.

A flicker of something crosses her face when Dr. Sattler mentions the inhaler Steve would likely need to carry with him at all times.

“For how long?” she asks sharply as Dr. Sattler flips through Steve’s chart once more.

He hums and purses his lips, “honestly, it depends, he could need it for a few months, he could need it for the rest of his life,” he shakes his head and sets down the chart, “we need to see how his lungs look after the inflammation goes down to really be sure”.

“What does that mean?” Steve blurts out, drawing their gaze towards him. 

Steve bristles slightly as Diane shoots him the barest of glares. He’s the one in the hospital bed, he can’t even ask questions about what will happen to him?

“The tissue in the lungs is very sensitive and delicate,” Dr. Sattler continues, his words come out slowly as though he is carefully sifting through to choose the best ones, “so, what that means is you may need medication to help your lungs function properly”.

“Steven’s father was hoping for him to join the varsity swim team in the next few years,” Diane says wearily, the first hint of emotion finally seeping into her voice as she sinks into the chair holding her purse. 

Steve winces. 

It’s no secret that his father’s goal for Steve, his…expectation, is for his son to follow his example to the letter. 

Varsity swimming --perhaps even basketball if he takes after his father’s lithe frame of six foot two. Get into college on an athletics scholarship, graduate with a business degree to eventually take over the family business --not that Richard has ever once explained just exactly what he does for a living. 

Steve would then marry a nice girl, one he'll meet at college since Hawkins won't have any girls good enough for the Harringtons, and eventually pump out two grandkids for Diane to fawn over.

This was the plan for Steve’s life, there was no room for error.

“Mrs. Harrington, there’s no reason to think he won’t be able to do these things--”

But the words fall flat as Steve’s mother gets up from her chair and stalks out of the room, leaving a wake of disappointment and silence behind her. 

A lump begins to form in Steve’s throat and he tries to blink away the harsh sting in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have gone to the lake that morning, he’d been told so many times never to go by himself, not when the Harringtons had their own beautiful inground pool installed just three summers ago. 

Dr. Sattler breathes out a long weighty sigh and lifts a hand to scratch at a missed patch of stubble on his chin.

He looks between the closed door and back at Steve, seeming to make a decision.

"Okay son," Doctor Sattler sighs, "you're going to hear things over the years about what you will or won't be able to do".

Steve lifts his hand up to wipe at his eyes as discreetly as he can with the doctor at the edge of his bed and nods.

"This does not need to define you, there are plenty of athletes out there with lung conditions and I would encourage you to keep active, it might actually benefit you to do so". 

Steve manages to hold back a scoff just barely and nods, dropping his gaze to his feet beneath the blankets.

"I'm not saying you need to go out and run a marathon," Doctor Sattler says dryly at the incredulous expression on his face.

"But you will need to keep them strong and exercise will help with that, so if you like swimming, keep swimming, okay kid?"

He pauses again and adds, "no smoking while you're at it". 

Steve's mouth drops open in protest, he's never smoked, well, not a full cigarette at least.

One of the neighbour kids, Tommy, had smuggled cigarettes out of his dad’s pants pocket and taken them to school for everyone to try. Steve had nearly thrown up at the taste and the feel of acrid smoke filling his nose and mouth.Tommy had laughed so hard about Steve spitting into the grass outside the baseball dugout and proceeded to tell everyone he could find. 

Steve still associated the taste of cigarettes with Tommy's laugh, the sound turning his stomach just as easily now.

Steve shakes his head under the doctor's unimpressed gaze, "I-I dont--"

Doctor Sattler raises his eyebrow and cuts Steve off with a sweep of his hand, "sure son, just make sure you don't continue, especially because your lungs are still growing and we want to capitalize on that as much as possible".

The doctor pats Steve's shoulder awkwardly, letting his heavy hand rest briefly before he turns away towards the door once more. 

"Anyway, I have a feeling you'll be getting a few more lectures in the future so that's enough out of me, you best settle in kiddo, you'll be here for at least a week".

Steve nods tiredly, he can hear his dad's voice in his head now, 'this is the stupidest thing you've ever done Steven--'

"Get some rest, no sense worrying about it now," Doctor Sattler says as he slips out into the hallway without a knowing furrowed brow.

And with that Steve is alone once more. 

The light outside his window is beginning to fade into the horizon; he wonders belatedly if Eddie will look for him on Monday.

Steve rolls over, ignoring the new sting behind his eyes and the heaviness in his lungs as he wonders how he can miss someone he just met this much.

Part Two Now Up!

[karkkidoeswriting]

Tender Tuesday - Valeri

Intro post

Here's my post for the Tender Tuesday prompt by @creators-club / @bardic-tales! The prompt was about the soft side of the relationships the character has. The two central relationships Valeri has in the first book are with his little sibling, Fiolev, and with Agrippa, his love interest. Here's some soft art I made of Agrippa and Valeri:

Fiolev

Valeri and Fiolev were orphaned 14 years earlier, when Valeri was 10 and Fiolev 4. Since that Valeri has basically raised Fiolev, and being a traumatized child himself, he obviously couldn't protect Fiolev from the realities of a poor unprotected orphan. Valeri would do literally anything for Fiolev. He would die in a heart beat and he has killed people to protect him. He feels immense guilt for everything Fiolev has gone through and it has pushed him to try to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. He does that by working harder to ensure their position, so Fiolev will never be homeless or hungry or desperate again, which means working on his military career. Fiolev on the other had is very afraid of losing Valeri, especially after Valeri did almost die in a war three years ago. He got lost in the battlefield, captured by the enemy, but no one knew weather he was alive or not, and then he returned after couple of months badly burned and bedridden. It took him a year to recover, and he never fully did. Fiolev doesn't resent Valeri for failing to raise him well or failing to protect him, but he's angry that Valeri would leave him behind, abandon him. And he's afraid that Valeri resents him for having to take care of him and look after him. That maybe Valeri wants to leave him behind to get rid of him. In reality Fiolev is always Valeri's first concern.

Valeri always tries to be strong for Fiolev, to a fault, but Fiolev is (at the start of the story) the only person who he is very soft and gentle with. He is always making sure that Fiolev is eating enough and dressing warm enough in the winter and generally acting very motherly, which is why Fiolev calls him mother, when he's annoyed with Valeri's coddling. He also plays music for Fiolev, even though he refuses to do in presence of anyone else, since he is quite self-conscious of not getting much practice since childhood. Fiolev loves to listen to him play. He always keeps a strand of Fiolev's hair with him whenever he leaves for a campaign to keep him close. He doesn't like to be touched or hugged by other people, except Fiolev, who he hugs frequently and always kisses his forehead whenever he says good buy (even if he's just going for a walk with his dogs).

Agrippa

Valeri and Agrippa have a sort of slightly-flirty-acquaintances-to-enemies-to-begrudging-allies-to-friends-to-lovers arc. At the beginning of the story, they know each other because Agrippa is the adopted daughter of a duke and a general, who Valeri was squire to. Alexis (Agrippa's dad) became Valeri's patron since he was a good squire and sent him to the Imperial Academy to become an officer. There was a bit of mutual attraction, but nothing really deeper than that. This changes when Valeri learns Agrippa is the heir to Dir'ahin's (enemy of the empire) throne, and he gets a mission to both help her conquer Dir'ahin for the empire and assassinate her, since she is too good of an asset to the empire.

Valeri's moral compass tells him it might be bad actually to kill someone who hasn't yet done anything bad, even though they would be a threat in the future, so while during the mission to conquer Dir'ahin, Valeri's and Agrippa's relationship turn from cordial and a bit flirty to animosity, he still fails to actually go through with the assassination, when he gets the change. His decision is quickly vindicated though, when Agrippa, who believed she would be a peacemaker between her two peoples, being an Ahinian raised in the Angusian Empire, learns about her father's actual intent of subjugating Dir'ahin and decides to turn against the empire and jump the ship to Dir'ahin. All the allegiances being outed, they escape together out of necessity to Dir'ahin, which involves a dangerous hike across a mountain range. During a month alone in the wilderness they learn to rely on each other and become actual friends and allies seeing that their goals could align as they both share the enemy they once served. In Dir'ahin, which is a strange land to both of them, even for Agrippa, they rely only more on each other, emotionally too as they both reach an emotional low point. That reliance become codependent to an unhealthy decree and turns into mutual pining.

They become very protective of each other, while Valeri acts as her body guard as a sort of cover story. (The real story of how he was tasked to assassinate her might not go down well with Ahinians who hold her as religious and political heir.) It's really the first time in 14 years when someone is protective of Valeri, someone takes care of him. While Valeri can be soft with Fiolev, with Agrippa he can be fragile too. Agrippa takes care of him through his mental breakdown and holds him when he cries, which he also does for her. They both feel as though they are alone in the world so they find solace with each other. However, they also both have some serious self-image issues as they both believe they are alone because they are lacking as a person, so of course they both think they couldn't possibly deserve each other. Valeri realizes faster that he is in love with Agrippa, but believes he can never have her, so he's just happy to be her attack dog and serve her, while he can.

[elvenbeard]

Blank Canvas

Cyberpunk 2077 Fanfic Summary: Mr. B has called, and V and and Kerry follow his invitation. The man who claims he holds the solution to V's problem in his hands, has yet to deliver the proof and keep his word... This is truly V's last shot at a long and happy life, and he sacrificed so much to get here... it better be worth it. (Post-Sun-Ending, mostly canon-compliant, Chapter 8/?, 7542 words, Kerry Eurodyne/V, content warning for mild body horror and canonical disgustingness! - notes at the end >> Previous Chapter >> Read from the Beginning

V’s Kenshin tech pistol rested heavy in his lap. The sharp, cold metal ridges of the word “arasaka” engraved into the barrel bit his tracing fingertips. His eyes were pinned to the building not far ahead, casting an ominous shadow on them in the late afternoon light.

“Got the sneakin’ suspicion we’ll lose contact as soon as you go in,” Rogue said on the holo, “So if I don’t hear back from you within an hour…”

“Send in the cavalry,” V chuckled, as did Rogue on the other end of the line. She sighed.

“Don’t think you gotta worry as much as ya do. They’re shady motherfuckers… but that’s what’s gonna be your protection. They wouldn’t wanna draw the attention hurting you would get ‘em… and even more so, fuckin’ Eurodyne.”

“Good point,” V said, but he couldn’t quite shake the impression that Rogue herself wasn’t so sure about this, deflecting, relativizing a little too much. She’d been in this business more than thrice the time he had, knew what she was talking about. Usually. But even she didn’t know more about these people than V did.

“Ya really think it’s a good idea to take him along?” she asked after a short pause.

V kept his eyes straight ahead, to not give Kerry, on the driver’s seat next to him still, any indication that they were talking about him.

“Well, what do you think?” he said in a tone as neutral as he managed.

“That he’s almost as fuckin’ stubborn as Johnny,” Rogue said, “I get it, really do. Still… Y’know what happened last time I took a rockerboy to a gig.”

“Yeah…”

This knowledge, this memory, was exactly why V did not want Kerry here with him, amongst many other reasons practical, logical, and probably also irrational.

“I’m not sayin’ that lightly,” she said, “But be careful. He might be doin’ this for you, and it could make all the difference. But they sure as fuck know he’s your biggest weakness while you’re in there together. They’re not gonna hesitate to use that against you if they gotta.”

There was a short, heavy pause.

“C’mon now, go, kid,” Rogue then said, ordered almost, “Lemme know how it went… And don’t worry ‘bout the Afterlife. We’ll cope with not havin’ ya around a little while longer.”

“Still not a fan of my optimization plans, hm?” V grinned.

“Fuck off. And move your ass. I’m not gonna come over and kick it for ya.”

She ended the call and V sighed.

“So… she got any final words of wisdom?” Kerry asked, fingers gently drumming on the steering wheel. They had swapped cars at home, and with what Rogue had said just now V wondered if it might not have been better after all to use Kerry’s Aerondight to get here… But then again, if shit hit the fan in some way, he didn’t want any more unnecessary negative attention drawn to him.

“Not really,” V shook his head, “Nothin’ I didn’t think of already at least.”

“Told ya so,” Kerry shrugged, pulling out his cigarettes at the same time. He only paused when he noticed V’s stern stare.

“Ah, fuck,” he mumbled and then got out of the car. They had not only swapped cars, but also changed clothes quickly while at the penthouse. As he slipped from the driver’s seat, Kerry’s black bomber jacket rode up briefly, revealing the gun tucked into the waistband of his cargo pants.

“You shouldn’t do that,” V said as he got out himself, “Posers in action films keep their gun in their pants. In the real world that’s gonna get you shot in the ass faster than you think.”

Out of reflex V closed the passenger side door with his left elbow, flinching at the pain shooting through his shoulder and chest. He took a deep breath, then adjusted his own gun holster worn snugly under his coat.

“Fiiine,” Kerry sighed, lit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, and he put the gun into his jacket’s pocket. Not ideal still, but better. V smiled at him, and then slowly turned to look down the short, narrow side street they were parked in. They were close to the Santo Domingo district border, in the middle of the industrial area at the edge of the city. The location coordinates Mr. B had sent him laid not far ahead. A new, sleek white building, curved and modern in design, rose at the center of what he remembered to be factory grounds formerly. V guessed it around seven stories tall and it was far from imposing, a little bit lost on the large lot even, but it blended in well with the surrounding corpo complexes. The entire compound was fenced in. V spotted cameras and security turrets near the reinforced entrance gate. No security staff though, not even mechs or drones, much to his surprise. Or maybe they were simply not out in the open, or cloaked, or, or, or...

“I’d like to have a short look around before goin’ in,” V said, turning back to Kerry, “You wanna wait here?”

“I’d rather tag along,” he said, then added, “If I’m not in the way.”

Kerry’s tone was off, he stood slightly hunched over, as if to make himself smaller.

“You’re not,” V quickly said, forcing a smile as he reached out to tug on his sleeve briefly. Kerry really wouldn’t be a bother for some casual scouting ahead of time. He might even notice things V didn’t. Four eyes, and all that.

“I’m just asking ‘cause I’m still not sure what to really expect. Give you the chance to back out, y’know?”

“V, how many more times do I gotta tell you you’re stuck with me?” Kerry asked sternly, then slowly started walking towards the compound and V followed. As soon as they’d reached the end of the side street though, he hesitated and turned back around, downplaying his uneasiness with a brief smirk and cocky shrug, as if to say, “after you”.

“Let’s go for a short walk around the block,” he decided, nodding to have Kerry follow him around the corner. To look around, and to maybe walk off some of their nervous energy.

They headed along the main road in northern direction, “Francis Street” said the small buzzing signs at the intersection. The building was to their left now, and they’d slowly surround it counterclockwise. Kerry stayed close, V had his scanners active and investigated the security setup, looking for weaknesses in the system or structure, and anything out of the ordinary they could potentially use to their advantage.

“Isn’t it, dunno… suspicious to walk around out in the open like this?” Kerry asked shorty before they’d turn around the first corner, “I mean, not tellin’ ya how to do your job, but…”

“No, you’re not wrong,” V said, “But this is not a stealth job. If we had to sneak in quietly, I would’ve parked the car somewhere else to begin with. Do the reconnaissance from further away, over a longer timeframe. But since they expect me, and we got an access token…”

“Then… why make the effort?” Kerry wondered.

“Can’t hurt to know what we’re up against if something goes wrong,” V said, “I don’t know this area well, and it’s good to have a rough layout of everything in mind at least. ‘specially since the place doesn’t seem to have regular windows.”

They stopped briefly on the northern side of the compound and V nodded into the direction of the building. So far, he had noted nothing out of the usual, nothing he wouldn’t have expected in one way or another.

“See that?” he pointed to a gate on the side of the building blending in so well with the exterior walls, it was barely visible without a scanner, “Could be a garage entrance, and going by the size it’s big enough for a small tank. Could even lead underground. And the lights on the roof, the colors, and the way they’re arranged, suggest an AV landing pad. But can’t tell from here if there’s one there right now or not. No big communication towers or anything though, so this is all pretty closed off, which fits their secrecy and posing as an independent little lab with no ulterior motives. The security tech I’ve seen so far… all Arasaka, even if they removed the branding for most of it to make it less apparent.”

No wonder, his former employer’s name wasn’t well-liked in Night City once again.

“Huh,” Kerry pondered V’s explanations for a moment, looking the building up and down, “Wouldn’t even know where to start, like… sure, there’s security turrets and cameras but, what to do with that info…”

V had been uncertain about whether or not he wanted to… but in the end, he was convinced that Mr. B would expect him to check out their security upfront.

“Can you keep an eye out for a moment?” V asked, “Just out here on the street. Make a note of anyone passing by or giving us weird looks.”

“What’re you up to?” Kerry wanted to know, shoulders tense, but voice relaxed.

“Check the cameras. Just a minute or so, don’t wanna push it,” he said with a grin, hacking into the CCTV at the same time. His vision blurred and he gained control of the camera nearest to their position. It was attached to the corner post of the fence surrounding the compound.

“Oookay…” Kerry said reluctantly, and through the lens V saw themselves, Kerry looking around with his hands in his pockets, surely clinging to his iron.

“Don’t worry,” he tried to soothe him, “I’ll be quick and then we continue.”

The cameras on the outside of the building were all part of a separate closed-circuit network, and V couldn’t find an easy way to gain access to any internal systems. Not that he had expected to. He switched through the various cameras, most of them on the fences, around the gate, then surprisingly one surveying from the rooftop. He panned it around.

“Huh, no AV on the roof,” he informed Kerry, “Also, nothing out of the usual… apart from all security completely automated it seems. No illusive private security firm like the Peralezes had to deal with…”

He logged out of the system again, blinking a few times until his optics had refocused.

“Let’s move on.”

They completed the rest of their lap around the compound in a little less than ten minutes overall. There was not much to discover, nothing out of the usual, and V had to shut up the nagging voice in the back of his head complaining that all he did was procrastinate the inevitable.

“Last chance,” he said quietly, turned to Kerry, who shook his head sternly, eyes narrowed and dark.

“The only way I’m not going in there with you ’s them draggin’ me back out by my feet.”

V more mouthed than said “okay” in response, but still his whole body screamed to put Kerry back into the car and lock the doors until this was over. Instead, he stepped down from the curb onto the dusty tarmac. Crossing the few yards now separating them from the compound entrance seemed to be an insurmountable distance, while with each step V’s dread grew.

The gate at the center of the lot was heavy black metal, just like the fence. V recognized security scanners embedded into the floor. A couple of signs attached warned of trespassing and lethal force being used, the usual markings one could find to the entrance of every corporate- or government owned facility like this. Only now V finally noticed the nameplate above the entrance. It was somewhat subtle, fine silver letters engraved into white marble-like material, mirroring the design of the building.

“Beyond?” Kerry muttered as if he’d read V’s mind. V glanced at him also reading the sign, then Kerry looked at him.

“Heard worse names for a startup,” V shrugged. Very faintly below the “Beyond” a tagline stated “Technologies” in a spaced out, heavier font.

“Guess time will tell if they’re beyond awesome or beyond awful,” Kerry muttered, and V chuckled.

“Beyond belief, maybe?” he said, and Kerry groaned.

“Beyond belief how many bad puns this will lead to…”

They both snickered, briefly forgetting why they were here, that there was nothing really to joke about just yet.

V looked around for an intercom or something comparable, but there was nothing.  Security cameras, yes, but even as they finally stood right in front of the gate, there seemed to be no immediately visible way inside, nothing happened.

“Hello?” he asked out loud, for lack of a better idea in the moment, his heart beating in his throat, “I’m here… For Mr. B?”

Nothing.

Kerry stepped a little closer, hands still in his pockets, and looked around, over his shoulder, at V.

“Gonna try and call him,” V said after a couple of moments, but then a soft crackle of static somewhere above their heads made them both look up.

“Welcome,” a voice said. Not Mr. B’s as far as V could tell, probably an automated receptionist. He still couldn’t tell where exactly it was coming from though, it seemed to be all around them with no discernible source. Not loud or otherwise attention-drawing, only just so they could hear it.

“Please step into the scanner,” the voice ordered.

V did as he was told, somewhat reluctantly, and he flinched slightly when suddenly Kerry grabbed his hand. Not to hold him back, just to hold on as he followed. The scanner activated, blue lights flashing and surrounding them completely for a few seconds.

“Firearms detected,” the voice said, “Combat cyberware detected.”

“A cyberdeck is classified as a weapon now?” V muttered under his breath as the scan completed.

“Ezaki, Vincent, 28. Fixer, Afterlife-Merc. Ex-Agent, rank III, Arasaka Counterintelligence. ‘King of the Afterlife’, wanted in Night City for - …”

“The fuck, you wanna yell my whole biography across the street?” V complained and almost simultaneously Kerry also started berating the voice.

“Shit, how do you even know - …”

They looked at each other, as the voice continued. Then it dawned on V. He only heard it in his head.

“Fuck me sideways…” Kerry muttered quietly, coming to the same conclusion, “That’s not creepy at all...”

“Scan complete,” the voice said before they could even recover from their realization, “Token verified. Visitor access granted.”

There was a loud click and a thud, and then, like an ancient creature awaking from its slumber, the massive gate crawled open.

“What the fuck was that?” Kerry asked, both of them hesitating to enter.

“Intimidation tactics,” V said sternly.

“If that’s how they treat their guests I don’t wanna know how they treat their enemies,” Kerry mumbled. V wondered if concepts like “friends” and “enemies” really mattered all that much to these people.

“Stay behind me a bit, just in case,” he said, still convinced that any moment now someone would open fire, or snatch Kerry away from him, that he was not wanted here after all. Reluctantly Kerry let go of his hand as they entered the compound, the gate rattling shut behind them again. Mr. B had sprung one of his may traps once more.

A white-tiled path wound its way between coarse dark gravel towards the entrance of the building, framed by freshly planted, synthetic bonsai trees that were all a bit too uniform, too perfect. V and Kerry were not even halfway there when the tall black entrance doors slid open, revealing a sprawling hall beyond. A handful of flat steps led up and into it, and the hair on V’s neck stood up when they stepped inside.

“Got a bad feeling,” Kerry uttered out loud what V was thinking.

Describing the entrance hall as imposing was an under- and overstatement at the same time, somehow. Its dimensions were certainly breathtaking, encompassing at least half of the building’s height and width. A smartglass ceiling projected the endless night sky above them, cosmic clouds swirling between sparkling stars and far solar systems, the logo “Beyond Technologies” floating among the digital nebulas. The darkness of the ceiling was reflected in the black marble flooring, while the indirectly lit walls were white. Decorative silver lines crawled between earth below and sky above, reminiscent of circuit boards. “We reach for the stars” seemed to be the message here, and the first impression was certainly something. Apart from that though, the room was disappointingly empty, almost as if the budget had run out mid-furnishing. No desks, chairs, decorations. No people, either, and the security systems, which certainly existed, were well-hidden. On the inside the building was just as devoid of actual life as its surroundings.

The only outstanding architectural element was a large glass tube housing two separate elevator shafts at the center of the room, the only other visible ways in and out. Just as V had finished the thought, an elevator came into sight from above, within the familiar face of Mr. B.

“That’s him,” V whispered, and Kerry shuffled, whether with unease or to ready himself he was not certain.

The elevator stopped on their level, the door slid open elegantly. Mr. B, dressed in a white blazer combined with sleek, silvery pants today, stepped out towards them.

“So glad you could make it this soon,” he said, tone overly friendly, “Although you look somewhat more roughed-up than Saturday…”

“Nothin’ to do with the gig,” V quickly deflected.

“Didn’t think so,” Mr. B said with a nod. He slowly, steadily walked towards them, but stopped retaining about three yards of distance – respectful or distrustful? Arms behind his straightened back, he held his head high, and blue glowing eyes looked V up and down briefly before wandering to Kerry.

“Mr. Eurodyne,” he hinted a bow, “A true honor and pleasure to meet another Night City legend in person.”

V half expected a snarky response like “wish I could say the same” or “can we just skip the pleasantries and get down to business”, but in fact, Kerry remained quiet. V looked over his shoulder, just to make sure he was still there.

“So, you’re the guy claimin’ he can save V’s life?” Kerry then finally said, the tiniest, most gut-wrenching tremble accompanying his last few words.

Mr. B’s smile grew slightly wider.

“I’m not just claiming it,” he said, oozing confidence.

“How?” Kerry asked promptly, “’Cause - …”

Mr. B raised his hand to stop him, and Kerry scoffed.

“I think it is easier to show you than to explain,” he said, “Follow me, please.”

He half-turned and elegantly gestured towards the elevator. V and Kerry exchanged a quick glance. V could sense Kerry’s nerves, his nausea about this whole situation. Every cell in V’s own body warned him about stepping into that elevator and yet… Was that Johnny’s lingering influence, his aversion to corporations and slimy bastards like Mr. B, or really V’s own instinct speaking? Also, Mr. B seemed surprisingly relaxed about Kerry even being here… V had expected more of a resistance, more hoops to jump through. And now they were invited in just like that?

Mr. B led the way and V and Kerry felt they had no other option but to follow, as if they were being pulled by an invisible leash. There was no way for them to speak, communicate what to do if something went wrong. V did a quick scan of their surroundings as they walked, noting that there really were no doors beyond the entrance and the elevators in this whole cathedral of a room – was this really built just to show off, impress the – presumably – rare visitors?

“After you,” Mr. B said and V stepped into the wide, circular elevator, closely followed by Kerry, glued to his side.

“I know everything is a bit bleak still out here,” Mr. B then said with a glance over his shoulder, right as he joined them. V shivered.

“Not at all, it is impressive,” he flattered, “But yes, you mentioned this building is brand-new?”

Blue-Eyes nodded.

“You are among the first of our… clients to walk within these walls,” he said, “For lack of a better term.”

The doors slid shut with precision. V couldn’t see a control panel, and yet the elevator just seemed to know where they were headed, ascending towards the galaxy ceiling, and then passing through. Remote controlled, probably. Blue-Eyes had to be stock-full of chrome capable of little tricks like that, nothing that impressed V too much just yet.

“Who are your other ‘clients’, apart from people you invest in,” V inquired instead. Unable to hide his curiosity he deliberately used Mr. B’s terminology, even though he’d always hated to be treated as some corporation’s investment. Kerry’s stinging stare was like a knife to his throat, but V kept his eyes on Mr. B as they ascended slowly. The elevator shaft was only see-through on the ground level, further up the futuristic magic of it all was somewhat diminished, replaced with run-of-the-mill skyscraper interior aesthetics.

Mr. B turned to look at V, smile as piercing as his eyes.

“So far it is only people we invest in – in one way or another,” he said.

The elevator came to a halt, the doors slid open again, revealing a long, bright corridor that screamed “lab”. There were doors left and right, but V could not make out identifying markers, nameplates, or anything else to give an indication of what lay behind them as they followed Mr. B to the end of the hallway. The silence, apart from their echoing footsteps, was thick, and V counted the doors, memorizing how far apart they were and approximated how long it would take to run the entire distance to the elevator, how quickly they would be able to find cover.

Mr. B opened the tall white door ahead of them. They entered a large office, its shape followed the curve of the building’s exterior walls, and V roughly knew where they were now. Somewhere above the large garage gate they’d seen from the outside.

The room was about twice the size of V’s old Megabuilding H10 apartment. The entirety of the curved wall was covered in smartglass displaying once more the name “Beyond” on a minimalistic, slightly animated white and silver background. It provided enough illumination to bathe the whole room in soft, almost-natural light. A large white desk sat roughly at the back center of the room, a modern art piece of its own volition. There were two comfortable armchairs for visitors and a large office chair behind it, all white leather. In fact, the whole room was so bright, so white, so immaculately clean that it made V dizzy. As if he’d walked right into the afterlife – the literal one this time, not the bar. And again, apart from the desk and seating, there was nothing else in here. Some modular shelves built into the walls that weren’t covered in screens, but no decoration, no sliver of personality. Smooth, cold, bright, blinding, corpo-chic… in a way, it did make sense after all that this was Mr. Blue-Eyes’ office.

“Please, have a seat,” Mr. B said as he sat down in the office chair. V and Kerry obliged, Kerry still with his hands in his pockets, slumping back, legs spread wide, right one slightly bouncing. He never took his eyes off Mr. B. The latter pulled up a holographic screen in front of him, top-notch tech if V had ever seen any. Arasaka’s collapse was probably what had made the setup of this lab possible in the first place – certainly the security measures, so why not the tech on the inside as well? In a way, V was suddenly thrown back into Jenkins’ office, the many lengthy private meetings either with just V alone or the other agents on his level invited.

“I take it Mr. Eurodyne has been brought up to date on why you’re here today?” Mr. B then asked, catching V completely off guard. Blue-Eyes tapped around on his screen briefly before leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, and hands folded expectantly. Only now Kerry briefly glanced at V.

“Wish I was being brought up to date still if I’m being completely honest,” V said sternly, “I’ve kept my word, no mention of what I did for you until it was done.”

“Who else knows?” was the counter-question.

“No-one that wasn’t directly involved,” V replied fast and truthfully.

Blue-glowing eyes stared him down intensely, certainly equipped with the tech to read intention and recognize lies. But V was a good liar, and in this case, for once, he even told the truth, had nothing to hide. After a couple of moments, Mr. B’s shoulders relaxed somewhat, but V’s heart continued to run a marathon in his chest.

“I’ve left him in the dark long enough. Your turn now,” he added sternly.

Mr. B slightly tilted his head, and his smile returned.

“You remember our conversation at the Afterlife?” he asked, “I promised you something beyond your wildest imagination… An instant and permanent solution to your medical issues.”

He cleared his throat briefly, then continued. V had to force himself to relax his own posture, mirroring Blue-Eyes’ now with his legs crossed, as if they were having a nice dinner date to talk business.

“The way I see it, having known you and your condition for a while now, your problem has always been the one of an alert, bright mind, trapped in a dying body,” Mr. B said, “First it was the Relic slowly killing you, and now it’s the only thing that’s left of your life how it used to be.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” V shook his head, but he was sick to his stomach hearing what he knew deep down spelled out so clearly, with so little emotion. The doctors they’d dealt with so far had always at least somewhat tried to sugarcoat the facts, usually in medical terms. Or provided them with the same “options” Hellman had already loved to push on him, “options” to consider apart from chasing a cure that didn’t exist.

“You can sense it though, don’t you?” Mr. B continued, leaning forward slightly now, “You should, at this point. Your mind disconnecting itself, slowly but surely, from a host not fitting its specifications anymore.”

“Can you cut it out with that gross tech-jabber?” Kerry interrupted him now, “V’s not some machine, and his body is his body, not a ‘host’, for fuck’s sake.”

Mr. B briefly turned to look at Kerry, keeping up his friendly smile.

“Apologies,” he said, “I do sometimes get caught up in the technical terminology.”

“How do you know all that anyway?” V then asked, trying to maintain his relaxed posture while his head began to throb in pain once more, “The emptiness the… disconnect. Because yes. That’s how I’d put into words what I’m feeling lately. Or… not feeling, rather.”

Blue-Eyes reached out to turn around his screen for V and Kerry to see.

“We were able to get our hands on a lot of very interesting data from Arasaka’s ‘Secure your Soul’ program,” he explained, “It is far from complete, but we have access to a large database containing both simulations and clinical trials with human study participants, for both the original Relic and the Relic 2.0. With what we have, gaps were easy to approximate.”

V scanned through the data on the screen briefly, recognizing some names and information here and there from his own venture into the depths of Arasaka’s labs during that long, dark, awful night back in June.

“The 2.0 never made it to completion though,” V then said, looking up from the terminal, “I’m the first one where it… somewhat worked as intended. Failed successfully. Hellman himself said so.”

“Indeed,” Mr. B nodded, “We were able to secure many notes of Mr. Hellman’s team as well, verifying his concerns on our own time meanwhile, and reaching similar conclusions. In subjects where the Relic malfunctioned or the engram didn’t fully take, even in those otherwise most promising, there was always mentions of a growing numbness, disconnect, distance between engram and host… until the engram eventually malfunctioned and, for lack of a better word, disabled itself.”

“You mean, died,” Kerry said sternly.

“I hope you’re not implying you’ve carried on Hellman’s work…” V asked, his mind racing at the mental image of the basement levels of this building just a whiter, friendlier-looking copy of Arasaka’s labs, while containing the same or even more messed up levels of human experimentation. He did not like Mr. B’s widening, predator-like smile.

“Not in the sense you’re imagining,” he shook his head. But he did not outright deny it either.

V swallowed, he struggled to continue holding eye-contact with Mr. B, when his mind told him “Run. Now!”. Kerry looked back and forth between V and Blue-Eyes tensely, brow heavily furrowed, slowly sliding closer to the edge of his seat.

“Anders Hellman’s focus were the Relic’s architecture and the engrams themselves. Optimizing those two variables to ensure the transferred personalities were as close to their originals as possible,” Mr. B continued, “For Arasaka’s purposes that was a valid concern. Nothing worse than transferring Saburo-sama into a new host body only to have him, well… come back wrong. Not the man, the leader he is. It makes sense.”

He paused, uncrossed his legs, and got up from his chair. He turned to look at the smartglass wall behind them, the slightly pulsating “Beyond” engulfed in digital fog. Then he looked back at V.

“Your concern though, as mentioned, lies in the fact that you’re currently in the wrong kind of host body, which is actively rejecting your psyche.”

“Get to the fucking point, fucking hell,” Kerry muttered and pulled out his cigarettes.

“I’d kindly ask you not to smoke in here,” Mr. B said, tone still friendly, but he looked down on them, towered over them.

“Make me,” Kerry challenged, rummaging for his lighter at the same time, eyes electric and wild.

“Kerry,” V awkwardly placed his injured hand on Kerry’s right thigh in an attempt to soothe him. Only after staring at each other intensely for a couple of moments Kerry stopped searching for his lighter.

“I don’t like where this is going either,” V thought, hoping somehow to convey his conflicting emotions without words. He hated everything about this, but… Mr. B’s promise was his last shot at a life together. At the very least he wanted to hear all details of his offer, even if…

Kerry put his hand on V’s carefully, holding it in place. He understood.

“I know this is a lot to take in at once,” Mr. B then said, “Even more so I am glad to have you both here, as, with how close you are, my solution to your problem will certainly be a concern for each of you to consider.”

V’s stomach twisted at that implication alone. Mr. B tapped around on his screen once more, and a sudden hissing noise behind them made both V and Kerry flinch, then spin around. A previously invisible hatch in the ground slid open, steam rolling in, probably caused by the reaction of some sort of coolant with the nicely air-conditioned office. A large platform began to rise from the ground, on top of it an eerily coffin-shaped and -sized container.

“Here is my offer, my solution, my payment for you, V,” Mr. B said proudly, “And my promise for a bright future ahead.”

V’s heart and thoughts were racing. The platform came to an agonizingly slow halt, locking into place with a metallic thud. The cold steam slowly subsided, and Mr. B walked around the desk passing them, towards the container, until it sat between them. It was built from the same black metal as the gate and fence outside, as the interior of the building beneath the polished white walls and shiny screens.

“Am I gonna regret looking at this?” V asked hesitantly, still glued to his chair, as was Kerry, fingertips digging into the syn-leather.

“I think you have seen worse in your time,” Mr. B smiled, then beckoned him to come over. V rose, slowly, each movement calculated precisely. Step by step, one after the other… his feet barely obeyed him, he had to convince them to move, carry him towards this human-sized pandora’s box.

Kerry remained behind a little while longer but got up as soon as V had reached the platform.

The lid on top of the container was see-through, thick security glass, slightly covered in condensation. The interior was still clearly visible though, illuminated by the same icy light as everything in the building.

V leaned forward, daring a glimpse. He gasped, shuddered at the sight of a body laying inside. Not surprised, he was also not thrilled, but also unable to take his eyes off of it. This was not a random dead person in front of him. It appeared human at first glance, but the longer V looked the more wrong it became. It was hairless, sexless, naked, its facial features weirdly smooth and undefinable, a mannequin made to look human at best… and the worst alternatives would certainly haunt V’s nightmares in the days to come. It appeared sleeping, or dead, arms resting at its sides, its eyelash-less eyes closed. It wasn’t breathing, seemed frozen in place almost, and the container was giving off an icy cold aura.

 “What in the fuck… is that?” V finally managed to ask. Stepping away from the container he bumped into Kerry who had only just reached his side.

“Your means of survival,” Mr. B said as if they were looking at a cartoonishly colorful pill bottle, not a prop from a bad mid-last-century sci-fi horror flick.

“Sorry, but that ain’t quite cutting it as an explanation,” V said, and he was close to reaching the point of slapping the slimy smile out of Mr. B’s face. He kept his cool though, forced himself to breathe slowly.

“Motherfucker, what the hell…” Kerry hissed, now also getting a peek into the futuristic metal-casket, but he quickly withdrew again, “That a fuckin’ corpse or what?”

“What you’re seeing here is a second chance for many people in your situation, V,” Mr. B said, disregarding Kerry’s remark. He placed his hands on the rim of the container’s lid.

“People with a healthy mind that are dying of an incurable disease, whatever it may be. Let down by their own body, all options are exhausted. But they are not yet ready to give up. This is an individual, pain-free solution to live a long, healthy life, in a more natural way than any other modern therapy could offer.”

“Fuck that, nothin’ ‘bout that thing’s natural,” Kerry grumbled, and once more, Mr. B raised a hand to stop him, calm him down. Kerry glared, then he turned to V.

“You’re seeing how fucked up this is, right?”

V’s own heartbeat was so loud, he barely heard Kerry’s voice.

“This is more natural than your body is at this stage, Mr. Eurodyne,” Mr. B said, then paused briefly, “No offense.”

Kerry froze, biting his tongue certainly sharp with an angry retort.

“What exactly is it, even?” V then slowly asked, but still didn’t dare to look back inside the container, “Some kinda… RealSkinn-covered cyborg? A new kinda total body conversion, a clone, or what?”

“Neither, not quite,” Mr. B shook his head. He looked down into the coffin, bright light from within reflected in his eyes, illuminating his pale face. Then he took half a step back again and sought V’s gaze.

“This is the product of years of trial and error, research and optimization, many failures,” he began to explain, “A blank canvas comes closest maybe to what it is exactly. No conversion, but a replacement. A biological body, with slight… enhancements. It needs food, sleep, exercise, grows hair, ages, can get aroused, sick, injured, bleeds, and it will eventually die… everything a ‘natural’ body would do as well. This is not immortality, but life. The body can be pre-equipped with top-tier synthetic organs, an operating system, interface plugs, personal link, and any other cyberware the client wishes for or is used to. With the great benefit that, since the body ‘naturally’ comes with these enhancements, cyberpsychosis is almost no concern anymore, for example. On its own though it cannot survive. It needs to be equipped with a conscience first.”

“Not so ‘natural’ after all then…” Kerry muttered under his breath.

“No offense,” V said, “That’s all nice and well but…”

“You can’t see yet how this would help you in your situation?” Mr. B asked. V grinned.

“That thing’s ugly as fuck,” he said, “Adam Smasher was a beauty pageant winner in comparison.”

Mr. B chuckled, but his eyes remained coldly fixated on him.

“Can I just pick a nice faceplate to slap on, too, together with all the other fancy chrome you can stuff in there?”

“Oh, far from it, V,” Mr. B said, raising his head triumphant, “This body can be yours as much – or even more so – than your current one is.”

He walked to the lower end of the container, tapping onto a small panel there. V was momentarily scared the creepy flesh-mannequin would now wake up and emerge, to secure its spot in the top three of messed up things he’d seen this year. Instead, though, the glass panel atop the container flickered, like a screen being turned on.

“No need to be afraid,” Mr. B smiled.

“I’m not,” V quickly retorted, almost believing himself.

“Come closer, have a look.”

V swallowed, then slowly stepped forward again. When he looked in the container, his heart stopped. He looked at his own face, asleep, dead, frozen in this weird state of stasis.

“What the… a projection?” he realized as he tried to process this visual still.

“To give you an idea of what’s possible,” Mr. B nodded.

And indeed, it was still the same, blank, doll-like body, just with his face and hair projected onto it. Kerry slowly approached again as well, staring into the container speechlessly.

“The body will be yours not only in a biological sense,” Mr. B explained, “We use your DNA’s structure as a basis to shape the genetic aspects. From skin- and hair color down to individual freckles.”

The projection slightly adjusted, beginning to resemble V more and more. Describing the visuals as “bizarre” was not nearly strong enough an emotion to fit V’s thoughts and feelings in this moment.

“But we can also modify every aspect to your liking, create an ‘ideal’ you, far from what modern medicine and modifications could currently achieve in an already existing body.”

V didn’t even have to ask for clarification when the appearance of the body’s chest changed, top surgery scars gone as if they’d never existed… and its genitals definitely were different from what V was used to seeing when he looked down, when he scrutinized himself in the mirror on a bad day. He shuddered, with intrigue, horror, disgust, curiosity alike.

“You’re saying… you’re remaking my body from scratch, and ‘better’, basically…”

He barely managed to get the words out, his throat tight and dry, his stomach unhappy with the mere thought.

“Not better,” Mr. B said, marketing-voice in full action, “However you want it, whatever you wish it to be like.”

Next, V’s neck cyberware appeared on the projection, then his tattoos, in surprising detail. Even Johnny’s stupid love-heart… V didn’t want to ask or even know just how they got all of this down so accurately.

“Okay okay,” V said and stepped back from the container, before the nausea of seeing himself lying in that coffin, kind of dead-looking, got the better of him, “You got a new body for me, alright. But how do you get me in there? And…”

His breath hitched at a grim realization.

“What happens… to this body? My… real body?”

Mr. B blinked slowly, raised his eyebrows, then turned off the projection. Only the blank body base from the beginning remained in the container.

“Your new body will be more real, more you, than this one is at this stage,” he said calmly, gesturing in V’s direction, “It will be healthy, free of old trauma, and equipped with the tech to safely contain your mind and memories without the option of someone – accidentally or willingly – turning the lights off by removing the Relic from your neck slot. I hate to say it, but your current body is your greatest weakness, V, riddled with exploits. You will not need it anymore, as it is only holding you back from using your full potential.”

V's head began to spin wildly, midway through Mr. B’s explanations.

“Vince…” Kerry, who had kept himself in the background for the last couple of minutes, reached out to support him, hand firm on V’s back.

“So… what, I gotta… You’ll run me through Soulkiller again, or what?” V asked, trying to sort his racing thoughts as he spoke.

“In a way, yes,” Mr. B said, but he might as well just have punched V in the gut, “We are currently looking into creating our own version of the algorithm, a more… gentle approach. The problem of engrams created with Arasaka’s Soulkiller has always been, to more or less of a degree of severity, their emotional stuntedness. We would want to avoid a further decrease in authenticity for this transferal.”

“And my body is just… It will die?”

“It is dying this very moment,” Mr. B said, without a hint of sympathy in voice or expression, but a flat matter-of-factness striking V at the very core, “And it will take your mind along with it, if we don’t act soon.”

“Hold up, hold up,” Kerry said, his fingers digging into V’s bruised side, making him flinch, but he leaned into the touch, into Kerry for support, “Didn’t you just say you’re still working on… how to even get him into this new body?”

“Yes, and we are almost ready,” Mr. B nodded, “A few days, at most. And for the time being, we also have the option – just an option, no must – to slow down the decay. A medically induced coma, in laymen’s terms. You go to sleep in this, and wake up in your new body, without noticing anything in-between, ideally.”

“Ideally…” V repeated weakly.

“V?” Kerry said quietly, urgence in his voice. V slowly turned away from the container to look at Kerry. His eyes were wide and worried, he looked him up and down briefly. Beads of cold sweat ran down the small of V’s back, his legs were numb, his hands clammy.

“I think I need some fresh air,” was all he managed to say, trying to hold Kerry’s gaze but failing, grabbing his arm now as his head grew heavier by the minute.

“Of course. It is a lot to take in at once,” Mr. B said. With that and a loud clank the body container started to slowly disappear into the floor again, locked away behind shiny white tiling, like a well-hidden dirty little secret.

“Let me accompany you outside,” Mr. B suggested, and now it was Kerry to raise his hand at him.

“We’ll manage, thanks,” he said, mimicking Blue-Eyes’ overly friendly tone.

“As you wish,” Mr. B nodded, opening the office door for them at least, “As I said, at the latest in a few days we are ready to receive you here, but you can come in any time from now on to get the procedure started. It’s the least we can do to ensure your wellbeing for the future, V. That you even get to see a future… both of you together.”

“Sure, thanks,” V said tersely, Mr. B’s voice muffled and distant as Kerry half-dragged, half-pushed him out of the office, through the endlessly long white hallway with mystery-doors left and right. The open elevator awaited them, miraculously took them to the ground floor without them having to push any buttons or even say a word.

“We’re outta here in a moment, don’t worry. It’s all good,” Kerry said, hands cupping V’s face, but every time their eyes met, V reflexively looked away at the stinging flash of blue.

The elevator doors snapped open, and V and Kerry marched across the huge, empty, echoing entrance hall to the already open exit. The sun had almost set when they stepped outside onto the flawless path ahead, sand and street dust swirling across the courtyard. V stumbled down the steps by the entrance, almost pitched forward, breath shaky, knees trembling. For a moment he thought he’d be able to regain his composure, taking a few deep breaths… but his headache, the nausea that had been riddling him the whole time they’d spent in that building, took over. Right on Mr. B’s doorstep, between neatly trimmed fake bonsai trees, V puked his guts out onto the pristine white marble tiles.

*****************

>> Next Chapter

*****************

Notes:

Last time there was smut, and now here's the promised angst... HHHH I was really really nervous about posting this, cause we're entering straight-up sci-fi territory now and my Cyberpunk lore knowledge is not as deep as I would like it in some regards sometimes XD But yeah... V's problem is, his body's letting him down, is dying... time for a new one right? Simple! Easy!

What would you do in his situation? I'm honestly curious (as I'm unsure how I would even feel like xD)!

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I think this was the longest chapter so far... and the angst will continue for a bit next time but maybe... maybe (I'm really not 100% certain yet, depends really on how V and Kerry are gonna behave XD), we'll have a little cameo of someone coming up soon 👀

Requested Fic Update Tags:

@humberg @r3d-f0x-blog @thatinternetwanderer @localtranspigeon @xtaiyo  @kharonion  @genocidalfetus  @seeker-of-truth 💜

If you’d also like to get tagged when I post a new chapter for this fic, leave a reply on [this post] or send me a DM!

If you do not want to receive further notifications, shoot me a quick DM and I’ll take you off the list again!

[stelliferousduo]

;;ooc: For the New Year, I will be reviewing all of my current Genshin builds & how I want to improve them in the upcoming year.

This is a very long post so buckle up! I currently have 27 characters geared up and ready to go which is way too many, I am aware. I should really start investing more in a few select units but I love the Genshin cast so much, I want to use them. T ^ T There's still so many other units I want to build too but I'm all out of artifacts haha.

Of course, we have to kick things off with my girl herself!

Right now, I have an 'all-purpose' build on her with balanced ATK%, EM, CRIT and ER% stats.

As much as I would love to have a cracked 4P BiS for each separate element, I simply have not had the time nor resin to do so while also giving some love and attention to my other characters. T ^ T

I do have her skill and burst talents leveled to at least 10-11 for all elements, with Dendro MC having the highest investment because it is the element I use the most.

In terms of which elements I use - from most to least - it would be: Dendro, Electro, Geo, Hydro, Anemo. All of them are used as sub DPS characters aside from Hydro - who has no off field abilities so she is a vape DPS instead.

Goals: First and foremost, I really want to get Jade Cutter for her. This does mean I will have to change her sands to an ER% one and her circlet to a crit DMG one, so it will require some additional farming, unfortunately. I do have a pretty good off set ER% sands but no emblem crit DMG circlets.

My precious boy is finally on a 4P vermillion set! He is definitely high investment and without Xianyun, he does not hit those crazy numbers yet but I hope she will have a rerun in either 5.4 or 5.5 so I can give his damage another boost.

Goals: I would like to get a sands with a bit higher crit DMG and perhaps some ER on there as well. The one Lumine has an off-piece right now is pretty good, but that would require an on-set crit DMG circlet with a decent amount of ER%. The circlet he has right now has a bunch of ER% rolls and that's exactly what this build needed since I don't have his C1 or a triple anemo team to boost the particle generation.

The second little meow meow is here! He got a 5* weapon quite recently when I pulled Lost Prayer from standard banner. His build does not rank very high on Akasha but I enjoy using them. In overworld, I prefer Wanderer over Xiao because he's not reliant on his burst to do 90% of his damage.

Goals: Getting a 4P desert pavillion is obviously the dream but I don't know if that will happen this year haha. A goblet with both crit stats or a flower with some atk% and higher crit DMG would be nice. I might go back to strongboxing some VV next year so perhaps he'll get an upgrade there!

This man is the GOAT. His crit DMG is on the lower side for an obsidian codex build but this is what works for me now since I don't have a crit rate weapon on him. The damage he does in a classic burning team with a F2P craftable weapon (albeit R5) is honestly pretty insane. He has saved me the past 3 abyss cycles and I have not regretted pulling him at all.

Goals: A crit DMG circlet is the ultimate goal. This would require either more crit rate stats on his other artifacts or switching back to Serpent Spine for his weapon. Although I'm not even sure if it would translate to more damage since the Earth Shaker passive is really good on him. Perhaps I will pull for his signature on his rerun, we'll see...

Alhaitham you are hot af but you're also one of the hardest characters to build...This man needs EM, crit and ER% and he ascends with NONE OF THOSE. I do have other builds with higher CV but then his ER is barely existent so I had to find a balance. I think a bit more CR and maybe some less CD might get me better results but I have switched around artifacts on this man so many times, I just cannot anymore. T ^ T Gilded Dreams has to be my most unlucky artifact set ever...

Goals: I would love to get his CR up to 70~75% while maintaining at least 300 EM and 150-160% crit DMG. I tried to pull for his signature but lost to Skyward Harp, unfortunately. If I do end up getting Jade Cutter from chronicled, I might sometimes put it on him so I can focus more on crit DMG with his artifacts.

Mualani is a character I was super excited about getting because I loved everything about her: design, vibes, idle animations, etc. Hydro is one of my favorite elements too. At first her playstyle was really fun because in Natlan, she can keep surfing almost endlessly. ...But then I began playing her in Abyss or outside of Natlan and suddenly I had to actually stack her hits quickly or her skill would end with me only getting 1 or 2 skary bites off. I am a skill issue player and I suck at playing her, so she has been benched for the past month or so. I really hope I can get better at playing her one day because her damage potential is insane. She has hit the highest numbers on my account ever with over 300k in Abyss.

Goals: Her build is super solid as is, but a bit more EM won't hurt. Her crit DMG is quite inflated so I wouldn't mind sacrifying some of that for more HP%, EM and a teeny bit more crit rate.

My very first 4* from standard and the only Pyro DPS on my account to this day. Hu Tao? Nah. Lyney? Nope. Arle? Nu-uh. I have a C2 Diluc collecting dust because Yanfei is my girl! She might not be as strong as 5* units, but I love her attack combos and always have a blast playing her!

I recently changed her build from 4P Wanderer's to 2P 2P because Tighnari needed some of her pieces. At first I thought it would be a downgrade but the boost in ER% and crit DMG makes it so she actually hits harder.

Goals: A flower and feather from Wanderer's Troupe with similar stats as my current 2P MH so I can get her back on a 4P would be nice. A bit more crit rate wouldn't hurt either. She does get a 15% increase when targets are below 50% HP, which is nice against chonky bosses but doesn't do as much against overworld mobs which die very quickly anyway.

I used to have this boy on 2P WT and 2P Deepwood but by yoinking some pieces from Yanfei, he's now on a 4P Wanderer's Troupe! I feel the difference more with him than I do with Yanfei, so I think it was worth it.

My biggest struggle with Tighnari is that I can never fit Nahida on his teams, so I end up having to run Zhongli on deepwood instead. Perhaps in the future I will build my Kirara to fill the role of shielder + deepwood holder instead. For off-field electro, my only options are Fischl and Kuki but Kuki isn't great for ranged combat and Oz is single target, so I need Kazuha for grouping & spreading the electro aura to the other enemies.

Goals: Higher crit DMG and for Hoyo to make an electro shielder with off field electro application lol.

My electro queen and the first 5* I pulled from standard banner! She was my main for the longest time alongside Yanfei. I have been purchasing Wolf-Fang from the BP forever so she doesn't have to share with Alhaitham lol. Again, I might sometimes run her on Jade Cutter went I get it from the Chronicled Wish.

Goals: Her pieces are honestly kind of garbage but her crit DMG ascension + crit rate weapon make up for a lot. I do have a flower with higher CV but I need this one for the EM - which is already very low for an aggravate comp. I'm forced to run her with double dendro + Nahida to get about 250 extra EM.

The Pyro Archon - BOUKEN DA BOUKEN! I swap around his circlet and weapon quite a bit depending on what my team needs. Favonius with crit rate circlet when I need particles, Sapwood for the bigger attack buffs and healing bonus circlet when I run him as a solo healer with Furina. He never gets all of the fanfare stacks but usually the atk buff he provides is more valuable than getting full fanfare.

Also yes, I activated his C6 and have not regretted it at all. I actually like playing around with it at times.

Goals: I would love to get more personal damage out of Bennett as he can actually hit really hard with his burst when running a Pyro DMG goblet and crit circlet. I just haven't really invested enough in Noblesse to have the right pieces for that.

I did not get Xingqiu until quite a few months into playing the game and even when I did, I did not build him right away because I hate his original design lol. Now that he has a skin, it's gotten much more comfortable for me to play him because I actually enjoy looking at him. His build is pretty average but he does what I need him to do - apply a whole bunch of Hydro and enable reactions such as vape, hyperbloom, etc.

He is insanely strong and while his design might not be my personal favorite, it would be a huge loss not to use him in a lot of my teams.

Goals: Level his talents to 1/12/12 and maybe get a bit more CV on him. Other than that, he does his job just fine as is.

I have a love-hate relationship with this girl right here. I know she's supposed to be AMAZING but my build on her is pretty mid and I also really struggle with Oz uptime...In AoE content in particular, she feels quite clunky when you don't have a grouper like Kazuha around.

Goals: Get a better crit rate circlet or an on-set atk%/EM sands which will allow me to use an off-set crit rate circlet.

Do not fear, Yaoyao is here! Using her as a typical healer did not do much for my account nor did I enjoy playing her that way, so instead I slapped my unused MH set and spare Deathmatch on her. I also have a spare PJWS but Deathmatch gives more CR so it works better with my current pieces.

Goals: Get a flower with crit rate on it. The one I had on her previously was given to my Yanfei, so I had to change my build a little. Yaoyao is not top priority - of course - but I'll have to farm the MH/GT domain anyway for Fischl and Albedo so if I get an upgrade for her along the way, I won't complain.

Zhongli also has two builds: the first focuses more on his personal damage as a burst sub DPS. The second one is specifically for teams with a Dendro DPS, either Kinich with Bennett/Xiangling or Tighnari with Fischl/Kazuha.

Zhongli is the second limited 5* character I pulled and while he is never the highest DPS option for a team, he is so comfortable for a skill issue player such as myself, I can not imagine how I would play this game without him.

Goals: I think I want to eventually change his sub DPS build to 2P Noblesse / 2P Tenacity for the 20% HP. I generally run him with. Bennett on teams which benefit from the atk% boost, so the 4P is a bit overkill. It's just that right now, I have better DPS pieces for Noblesse than for Tenacity.

Probably the easiest character to build on my entire account because I already had a 4P VV with EM main stats ready before I pulled him. (Thank you Strongbox for that EM goblet!) Even with lower crit stats, he still does amazing and his grouping is so much fun when taking on smaller mobs in the overworld. Just like Zhongli, I cannot imagine an account without him. I skipped on C1 Xiao to have a guaranteed for this boy and I do not regret it at all.

Goals: A feather with EM and a flower with more EM would be nice. Or more ER on my sands/circlet which could allow me to run an EM weapon instead. Although Fav is so good for team-wide particles, I think it's more worth it than hitting the 1000 EM on him.

The other Pyro Archon, Xiangling! Even though she's on banners every other patch, she's never on the ones I wish on so this girl is stuck at C0, unfortunately. Maybe I can get a copy or two from the Chronicled Wish banner because I would love to have her C4. Her build is pretty good but without C4, her damage output is just a lot less, unfortunately. T ^ T

Goals: Cons, please...Also maybe a bit more ER% and EM without sacrificing too much crit.

Remember when I said Gilded Dreams is my unluckiest artifact set? When it comes to Alhaitham pieces - it is - but Kuki pieces? Oh boy the game loves giving me those HP% and EM rolls. Just look at those feather and flower! I have her on a 5P Gilded now because I don't have a single off-piece which is better lol.

Goals: An EM goblet with HP% is the only thing which could improve this right now. It's very low priority though because her heals are pretty decent even now.

Kaeya is a character which I was not originally going to build but I had these artifacts leftover and figured: why not. It's not a great build but he's mostly there to enable melt reactions.

Goals: I would like to give him a proper build and improve his pieces. Especially the goblet is not great but it's the only Cryo DMG goblet I have leveled on my entire account whoops.

The best character in the whole game, anyone? Seriously Furina is so good - both her personal damage and her support capabilities. When I use her in the overworld, I can just sit around for the most part and let her little animals take care of the easy mobs.

Goals: Get a bit more ER. I sometimes have to switch her to fav, especially in teams where she's the only Hydro character. Other than that I'm very happy with her build!

My first limited 5* and the character I started playing the game for. I love soft pastel girls and Kokomi fit the bill perfectly! Even though she cannot crit, her mono hydro team with Xingqiu, Kazuha and Furina is so comfy to play and I have actually cleared the Abyss with it as well.

Goals: None at the moment! I do have a lot of wasted crit rolls on her pieces so I might eventually farm a second Ocean-Hued Clam set. Then I can potentally transfer some of these pieces over to a character like Qiqi or Charlotte who can benefit from the crit stats more. I should probably level her weapon to 90 as well haha.

Nahida my beautiful radish baby!! I am so sorry that I had to skip you in 4.4 but my guaranteed Xiao was waiting for me. When I got her and Kuki on her latest banner, it instantly boosted my account by giving me access to some very strong hyperbloom teams. I can slot her and Kuki on basically every team and it works great!!

I have another build with almost 100 EM but way less crit rate so I actually prefer this one. Especially since I generally run her with a 1000 EM Kuki so she still gets the full buff with her burst!

Goals: Perhaps a bit more ER on the goblet or some more EM on the flower/feather. Crit rate on the sands or crit DMG on the circlet would be nice too but none of those are priority.

This is barely a build but I do use him in some double Geo comps so I decided to put him here. Not having his 'signature' from the limited event hurts me every day. Harbinger is a great weapon but it does mean he is attached to Zhongli's hip or I have to swap off him very quickly.

Goals: Where do I even begin? I want to do a complete overhaul of his build. Either a new 4P Golden Troupe with better substats, or I might aim for a 2P husk 2P GT or even 4P husk instead. I am also considering leveling the new Natlan DEF% sword for him. It all depends on the main stats/substats I can get on my artifacts.

My Faruzan is basically just there to buff Xiao/Wanderer, which is why her pieces are very scuffed. I just tried to get enough ER and some crit rate to proc the favonius weapon. Which is a shame because her personal damage at C6 is nothing to scoff at either.

Goals: I want to get more Tenacity pieces so I can give her a proper build with a nice 1:2 crit rate (60/120 would be ideal) without sacrificing ER. A bit more atk% would be nice too. Lastly, I want to get her final acension and max out her burst level talent for optimal buffs.

I don't use my Jean super often, but sometimes her team-wide healing is very nice alongside Furina. I got her from Noelle's banner when I just started playing so I honestly should give her more love, but I've build too many units, it's hard to give all of them attention.

Goals: I think having a 4P VV set might be better on her so she can also res shred when I'm playing any team with reactions. I also want to get a bit more crit DMG and atk on her.

Layla's shield is THICC and that is all I need from her. If I ever get her C6, I might build her for damage too but right now her shield and normal attack buffs are all I need. I love her design so it's a shame I can't play her on field, but she's still quite useful to me in melt or freeze teams.

Goals: Right now I'm happy with her even though she does not crit. Her shield is almost as strong as Zhongli's and the fact that she does have some decent Cryo application is nice when I use her with Yanfei.

This character threw me off guard with his personality so much. I thought he was gonna be an edgy/cold boy but he's such a precious ray of sunshine!! I am so glad I managed to get her on one yolo 10-pull. His build is something I threw together quite quickly so he's hard-carried by his weapon but I love using him in taser and even hyperbloom teams!

Goals: I want to switch him over to Chain-breaker so I don't have to keep on swapping Skyward Harp between him and Tighnari. This means I will have to get a better 4P Scroll set on him so that's a top priority for now.

Last but not least, we have everyone's favorite housewife - Thoma! I got C6 while wishing for Kinich and this is pretty much the only team I use him on right now - hence the 4P deepwood on him. He doesn't do much damage on his own but he enables Kinich to do big PP damage and that's honestly what I want from him the most.

Goals: His HP% is quite low because he's only level 70 for now. I would like to get him up to 80/90. I generally run Zhongli on my Kinich teams as well (giving him Layla's tenacity set) so the weaker shield is not that big of an issue. I maybe want to play around with Burgeon Thoma too, but that would require getting FLOP pieces.

[marbleboa]

I'd like to write a little something something sakuyama but I cannot for the life of me decide which relationship scenario is best for them. Keeping relationship secret from claw? Koyama not caring to talk abt it but Sakurai HATES him to bc he doesn't mix personal with professional life? Actually hooking up after Claw disbanded? Been an item for several years and nobody knew?? I think every idea got its potential but I can't decide. What's your personal hc for em?

Right? There's so many possibilities--but that's the fun part about hc stuff like this, you don't necessarily have to stick to one idea for everything you make! We don't get much about the Scars' histories with the organization and each other prior to Season 1, plus the unknown happenings between seasons. It's always very fun to see the different interpretations people have and how they compare/contrast.

In regards to my own thoughts, I actually had been typing up a draft on ideas for the way their relationship develops over the course of the series so. Perfect timing. Hope you find these helpful!

Claw Era: Rivalry+mutual attraction turns into what's meant to be a solely physical relationship to let off steam. Despite their best efforts, something akin to affection starts to develop deep down--expressed subtly, of course(like this). Koyama doesn't give a damn about secrecy but Sakurai makes him keep quiet, more so out of his own pride than any fear of repercussions. For Claw, the vibe I got is that HQ doesn't care about the Scars as long as they do their jobs(getting each other injured would affect) so even if the matter somehow reached them they don't really care. Some of the other Scars know something's up but, well, those two are a dangerous pair--as long as they aren't killing each other, best not get involved.

Post-Fall of 7th Division: Sakurai still insists on getting involved in Koyama’s business even though he really has no obligation to with the organization gone. To his own denial and both of their irritation, Sakurai's grown to care about what happens to him. It’s because of his influence that Koyama joins the other former Scars despite 1. not being there for Reigen’s speech and 2. Being a stubborn asshole. On Koyama's end, Sakurai’s become a pretty big weakness of his. He still doesn't trust the others, doesn't trust this weird Reigen guy they've called in who's apparently a big deal, but he trusts Sakurai. Also if he behaves he gets to make out with a hot guy, so. Win.

Post-WD Arc: Sakurai lets Koyama live with him under the convenient excuse of sharing rent and giving a fellow ex-Scar some help while he finds work--but he needs Koyama just as much as Koyama needs him. With Claw gone there's no way back, and having someone at his side while he faces rejoining society is a mortifying yet undeniable comfort. For Koyama, he has a lot of doubt about the whole 'becoming a commoner' thing and starts off feeling aimless, but Sakurai ends up give him direction. Granted, that often comes in the form of his own concerns about Koyama's capacity for change inciting this weird kind of...positive spite. He wants to prove Sakurai wrong, prove himself to him, it's like their former rivalry but more constructive. This leads into them working with each other again, and they learn to settle into a more domestic life.

As a sort-of aside, I really like the idea of their relationship being built upon things unsaid—it’s not a conventional romance by any means. They bicker like an old married couple, are attached at the hip, clearly are the most important thing in the world to each other, but then look at you like you’ve got two heads if you ask if they’re dating.

God I don’t even know when they’d get around to bringing out the L word. Sakurai has so many hangups about his capacity to love/be loved from his upbringing—hearing something so overt might make him panic and try to withdraw if it isn’t done carefully. And Koyama, for all his growth at this point, still isn’t really in touch with his emotions enough that he’d be able to have those sort of deeper conversations easily. But it doesn’t mean the emotions aren’t there, you know? And in the end they’re happy with how they are, with taking anything the other is willing to give.