#holy frak i wrote a lot this year

[onthewaytosomewhere]

thanks for the tags @cha-melodius @eusuntgratie, @kiwiana-writes, @firenati0n, @run-for-chamo-miles

(snatching the open tags from @caterpills, & @alasse9 while i'm at it)

your girl wrote so much this year ... 349 K words in 58 fics and 14 collections of ficlet friday ficlets (some of which have or are in the process of becoming actual full fics lolz) and a bunch more words in WIPs (40 or so in the folder) that are still waiting for me to just finish them (or come back to them) already! lolz - I wrote in 3 fandoms and 15 different pairings that have been posted this year and a couple others that didn't get there quite yet) - i've officially posted the last of my fics for the year so here we go

so this is a lot of fic listed here so we're gonna so put it behind a cut

JANUARY

Ring on His Finger, Putty in His Hands (RWRB, firstprince, 2.9k, E) - engaged boys that i had so planned to make a series and the rest of the ideas are still sitting in my WIP folder lolz

FEBRUARY

the second hand unwinds (RWRB, firstprince, 3.6k, G) - girldads fic for Hey Sweetheart challenge

i've got you acting like you want more (RWRB, firstprince, 3.3k, E) - brownstone era pre-engagement - the boys re-uniting after a week apart fic also for the Hey Sweetheart challenge

- like the way you work it - (RWRB, firstprince, 3.4k, E) - smut where Henry takes care of Alex

Setting The Bar High (RWRB, firstprince, 2.3k, E) - the boys celebrate their first birthdays in Texas (Becz bday fic)

MARCH

gotta sign 'em all (RWRB, firstprince, 6k, T) - fic inspired by TZP and his fascination with a lil pink book and the way he's so damn ACD-coded

APRIL

Something in your mouth (RWRB, fristprince, 3.7k, E) - fic inspired by the Nickelback song - Alex sees Henry at a party with a sucker in his mouth and needs to experience that mouth

baby just say yes (RWRB, fristprince, 20.6k, E) TSwift fairytale done for the brownstone's eras tour challenge (this was my first firstprince fairytale but i have plans for different one lolz - have a desire to do it better lolz)

MAY

Makin' memories I might remember (RWRB, firstprince, 7k, E) - the first of my not-so-much one night stands fics - this one has alive arthur and has the boys falling in luv with their one night stands

just a bit of fun (RWRB, firstprince, 2.7k, fic for Adina's bday - this all started from a silly convo and then became fic lolz

JUNE

and fight the break of dawn (RWRB, liam/pez, 6.6K, E) a southern philanthropy not-so-much one night stand fic (2nd in series)

JULY

2 is better than 1 - 3 is better than 2 (when we’re back at 2 wanna stay there with u) (RWRB, alex/henry/pip & firstprince, 19.5K, E) this is that alex/henry/pip (fristprinceS) incest-y fic i wrote for Tiff

my slutty royal (RWRB, firstprince, 1.1K, E) this was an inspired by art fic - strawberry helados by papiercranes

nights at the moonlight coffee shop (RWRB, firstprince, 15.1k, E) my werepire all-night coffee shop au for ficwip dark & cozy challenge

AUGUST

in the kitchen, at kensington, with those threadbare pajama pants (RWRB, alex/shaan, 1.2K, E) first in the shaan srivastava is too hot for his own good series - alex "beats it" to thoughts of shaan and his sexy pajama pants

bringing home silver (RWRB, fristprince, 7.7K, E) alex/henry olympics engagement fic (w/a side of southern philanthropy)

I'm gonna be a mighty king … (RWRB, firstprince, 878 words, T) just a silly fic inspired by a QOTD from a discord group

seeking the (sex) services of a witch (RWRB, firstprince, 4.5K, M) fic for ficwip 5K challenge - witch Henry helps out an Alex that may have been cursed

SEPTEMBER

a hug in clothing form (RWRB, firstprince, 3.2K, E) Oodie fic inspired by art - this lovely piece by Ash

in my dreams, at oxford, still with those damn pajama pants (RWRB, firstprince & henry/shaan, 3.6K, E) fic for the shaan srivastava is too hot for his own good series - henry tells alex about some dreams he had and that time he drunkenly hit on shaan - alex seduces it out of him

it's times like these you learn to live again (9-1-1, buddie (at the end), 4.4K, M) streetfigher!Buck buddie fic - came from combining 2 ficlet friday prompts

What if I say I love you (RWRB & 9-1-1, alex/buck, 2.8K, T) firstfire fic - meet the 'rents and "launching their relationship publicly"

on the kiss cam with you (RWRB, firstprince, 1.6k, T) another fic inspired by art - this comic piece by firstprnnce

thoroughly appreciated (RWRB, firstptince, 1K, M) a fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt “Did you get my note?” & secrets

help me forget for just a bit... (RWRB, firstprince, 1.2K, E) fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt silver & hurt/comfort - alex comforts henry with his mouth after he's had a rough day

you're still written in the scars on my heart (RWRB, firstprince, 2K, T) fic for the brownstone's firstprince week prompt “I can’t do this again” & hot or cold

OCTOBER

soulmates, star wars, and insufferable aresholes (RWRB, firstprince, 1.8k, M) soulmates fic where alex spoiled the death of han solo in his first words to henry - firstprince week fic

love & family is all we need ... (RWRB, firstprince, 953 words, G) Alex helps Henry through a memorial service for Arthur Fox - fox family feels abound - firstprince week fic

Schlorp of True Love, a Fairytale (RWRB, firstprince, 6.3K, E) a crackfic co-write with Mags and Tiff - this is what comes from when we put late night rambles into a doc lolz (soulmates but make it enormous dicks and stretchy holes)

But the words that he was whispering I couldn't stop from listening (RWRB, liam/pez, 4.7K, E) oh what is that i wrote another southern philanthropy - yes, of course! - another installment of my not-so-much one night stands series

these go in the keep pile (911, bucktommy, 1.8k, E) buck finds his old cowboy hat and puts it to good use OR my save horse ride a cowboy bucktommy fic

just a bit of full moon fun (RWRB, firstprince, 9.2K, E) werepire full moon sexin' - sequel to nights at the moonlight coffee shop fic

it takes everything i have not to melt (RWRB, firstprince, 1.4K, T) a first date college au firstprince fic for all-ships ship week

not because of some grand romantic declaration but because it feels right (RWRB, liam/pez, 1.2K, T) a southern philanthropy fic about a quiet night in and liam's feels

how meaningful the silences (RWRB, liam/pez, 1.2K, T) pez's pov of that domestic southern philanthropy

is this décor or a sex toy? (RWRB, firstprince, 2.8K, E) a silly lil fic that starts with pez sending the boys things for their new house and ends with them in bed (of course)

she has feelings about this, complicated ones (RWRB, junora, 1.8K, T) ooops! there's just one bed for all-ships ship week

not just a possibility, not just a dream (RWRB, firstprince, 5.1K, M) part 3 of werepire firstprince - this one with an adorable shifter kit that they adopt

NOVEMBER

I hope that someone gets my… (RWRB, firstprince, 12.9K, M) my AWY submission - message in a bottle fic

leaving no doubt that he owns this moment (RWRB, firstprince, 2.9K, M) alex lures henry to a victoria secret show and surprises him (inspired by a tumblr post that i rambled in tags on)

"Wanna get out of here?” (RWRB, alex/pez, 7.5K. E) a pez/alex college au bar hookup

Say that again (RWRB RPF, TZP/Clifton, 1.3K, E) so ... i ventured back into RPF as happens sometimes lolz - just pure smut

souls are not bound by simple explanations (RWRB, fristprince, 8.8K, T) A platonic soulmate fic where Philip is a good brother and Alex and Henry slow burn their way to a relationship. Told from Philip's POV

let me take care of you (RWRB, alex/pez, 6.6K, E) Pez being the great friend he is takes the very best care of an in heat Alex when Henry's out of town

gonna need you to tell me what you want to happen here (RWRB, firstprince & alex/pip, 7.8K, E) Pip reminisces, and Alex reveals something he'd neglected to tell Henry - pip had alex first

DECEMBER

born to ride (RWRB, firstprince, 3.6K, E)  trampstamp cowboy ACD (as this was called on my doc) meets and rides Henry fic that was of course inspired by a tumblr post and rambling in tags (also Leeks bday fic)

made for moments like this (RWRB, firstprince, 931 words, G) this is just Henry being sappy about his little family around the holidays

decorations and family lore (RWRB, firstprince, 905 words, G) Alex and the Fox siblings decorating a tree while they reminisce for rwrb festive fan fest

this year feels different (RWRB, firstprince, 1.3K, E) southern philanthropy soft holiday fic for the rwrb festive fan fest

Punch him with your mouth? (RWRB & 9111, firstprince, buddie, 1K, G) alex and buck are stranded at a hotel due to inclement weather and bond over missed food and feels for the boys in their lives (rwrb fff)

a lifeline through the holiday chaos (RWRB, junora, 1K,M) junora cuddling while watching a holiday movie for the rwrb fff (and Morgan's bday)

underneath the christmas tree (RWRB, firstprince & alex/pip, 7K, E) sequel to 3some fic where martha arranges a gift for pip under the xmas tree for rwrb fff (& tiff - cuz well she get all the sequels lolz)

bonding with his 'sisters'  (RWRB, firstprince, gen, 5.5K, T) Bea recruits Alex to help her and Martha find a gift for Henry and they enjoy a little bit of pampering. Alex bonds with his "fox sisters"

definitely taking a turn for the better (RWRB, alex/liam/pez with some fristprince and southern philanthropy at the end, 2.1K, E) pez brings the boys home from a party and when alex is on his way out he meets henry and well numbers might be exchanged my last fic for rwrbfff

everything he'll ever want (RWRB, liam/pez/spencer, 1.9k, M) a lil bit of holiday tranquility, softness and luv written for The Curio Cabinet rare pair exchange

Lights, Camera, Holliday Luv (RWRB, firstprince, 52K, E) pornstar alex and former boybander henry make a holiday movie and probably fall in luv (my big dec fic - my first multichapter posted chapter by chapter)

as near to peace as he ever gets (RWRB, henry/shaan, 804 words, M) in what has become a tradition when he's sloshed henry rubs off one shaan's thigh, oxford slut phase henry, written from a prompt for the Curio Cabinet that didn't make the cut for the exchange

a moment to savor (RWRB, oscar/raf, 845 words M) bb's first oscar/raf - some kissing on the couch that raf has some thoughts and feels about, also wriitten from a Curio Cabinet prompt

okay no pressure tag ur it to @adreamareads @basil-bird @bitbybitwrites @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517

@stnichols @cricketnationrise @dragonflylady77 @dreamtigress @emmalostinwonderland

@england-would-fall @everwitch-magiks @firstprincehornyramblings @firstsprinces @forever-fixating

@hgejfmw-hgejhsf @iboatedhere @inexplicablymine @jmagnabo92 @judasofsuburbia

@mikibwrites @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @nocoastposts

@orchidscript @piratefalls @porcelainmortal @priincebutt

@seths-rogens @softboynick @sophie1973 @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow

@stratocumulusperlucidus @suseagull5914 @tailsbeth-writes @taste-thewaste @thedramasummer

@thinkof-england @typicalopposite @thesleepyskipper @thighzp

@tinyarmedtrex @zwiazdziarka

[caitylove]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @holy-ships-x-red-lips! Thank you so much for the tags. You have given me a lovely way to procrastinate right now. :)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? Only 16, but there are also fics out there on LJ that I was too lazy (or were just too bad) to find on the group events I posted on and port over. There are also some other ff.net fics on another account that I forgot about, but were from when I was in high school so totally not bringing those over either.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 78,839. I expect that to drastically change once I start publishing my one long wip...

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently I mostly write Battlestar Galactica (spaceparents ftw) and some The Closer/Major Crimes (I'm a Brenda/Sharon heathen. ) But in the past I wrote for Rizzoli and Isles and Grey's Anatomy. There's also some X-files fic out there and a CSI one somewhere.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Caffeine (Rizzoli & Isles): What happens when Maura consumes an excessive amount of caffeine?

So major note this fic is literally like 12 years old. And super short. And honestly not good lol.

Break All The Rules For You (The Closer/Major Crimes): Sharon Raydor has a list of rules she lives her life by. But Brenda Leigh Johnson very might be the catalyst for her to break each and every one.

This is actually my current active posting WIP. I'm amused it got so many kudos so fast. Guess I'm not the only heathen out there. :)

Frak Me Red (Battlestar Galactica): Wanting Laura to feel good about herself, Bill finds her the perfect gift and they spend an exciting weekend away on shore leave aboard Cloud 9.

Part of my Cosmetics Series. This was a blast and like 70% pure smut.

Pain Management (Battlestar Galactica): Dealing with pain during her cancer treatments, Laura is suggested an unorthodox treatment plan.

This was actually my first fic back after a ten year writing hiatus... :) Never let anyone tell you that you can't return after a long time away.

Spray and Stay (Battlestar Galactica): Laura has a secret addiction that is slowly running out and she can't help but show off her addiction to Bill.

The first part of my Cosmetics Series. Also 50% smut. :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Absolutely. So, I work from home and like responding to them instead of working sometimes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? So I don't have a ton of angst honestly. So I guess the ending of Auburn Sunsets, Starlit Nights (Battlestar Galactica) is the angstiest? (Or meanest?)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? So like 80% of my stuff is smut... so they all have HAPPY ENDINGS. *snicker*. But I guess I'll go with Frak Me Red ?

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really. Probably did on some of my old FF.net stuff but don't care enough to go back and look.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Like thats half of what I write. :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not in a long time. But once upon a time I wrote a Grey's Anatomy Zombie fic that had a Doctor House appearance. Its somewhere on LJ. It was BAD, but I am so tempted to find it now for my own amusement.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. Feel free to reach out if you want to tho.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but definitely open to it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? So probably Bill/Laura(Spaceparents) from BSG. But Also have a soft spot for Sharon/Brenda (The Closer), MSR (The X-Files), Swan Queen, Janeway/Chakotay, Femshep/Garrus, to name a few.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Love Games. My 12 year old the Closer fic I never finished. May rewrite it one day but I will never just finish it as it exists today.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I do a lot of emotional introspection well. And Smut. I can do smut.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Honestly, I struggle with dialogue.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? As long as its translated or explained, I'm fine with it. Probs would never do it, cause my language skills suck, but wouldn't mind reading.

19. First fandom you wrote for? CSI! I wrote a Grissom/Sara fic back in the day. I was in like High School.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Thats like asking me my favorite children! My favorite is one I am still writing and haven't published yet, The Symposium of the Stars. One day it'll make an appearance.

But for published? I really loved Auburn Sunsets, Starlit Nights. I have a soft spot for it.

Tagging: @lavenderknivess, @mimine666, @madelineusherspearls. @ofhouseusher, @cryscal, @fracktastic, and anyone else who feels like it :)

[eallisnwndrlnd]

A New Year. A New Decade.

As I type away, only a couple of hours to go to lead us into not only a new year but a new decade. So many memorable moments that happened this year…some good…some not so much.

2019, a year that began with anxiety and stress as I began my final semester and final year of college and ended it with uncertainty of what the next year will bring with a bit of hope that things will get better.

As I begin to reflect on my 2019, I note that even with all my downs I had a lot more ups and so much to be thankful for this year. As some of my family and friends had many new joys to celebrate there are others near and dear that also suffered a lot of hardships and loss this year. For them I hope that this New Year will bring hope, joy, peace and many more blessings.

I stressed over my academic performance as my college years were coming to a close. As I lost myself in my thesis and trying to complete it and finding that pulling my hair strand by strand may have been less painful of a process. The stress of personal issues happening at home, my deepening depression, and self-inflicted stress from school, led to me smoking a ciggy after being more than 2 years smoke free. Albeit only two lung cancer sticks, but still a moment of succumbing to my go-to distressing vice. I was, however, more determined than ever to survive my senior year being on top. With many late, tiring nights I worked towards ending on a high note. And boy did I. After having graduating high school 19 years ago, I, Ethni, at 37 years of age FINALLY graduated college…as a foreign student…with honors to boot! Can you believe it folks? I actually managed to graduate cum laude. Holy mother of fruitloops, how the frak did I even do that and not go bald? An academic acknowledgement I never dreamed possible four years ago when I started my first year of college. An honor that I can solely chuck up to hard work and determination no matter how much I lacked in confidence or ability. Alas, I finally completed a long held dream to obtain a college degree even if it took me a long time to get there. Of course the dream initially was graduating back home years ago in my dream school NYU-Tish, but hey, there are moments when dreams and goals change depending on what cards you’re dealt with and how you deal with them.

This year I was able to go back home for a visit after being away for five years. Oh how I missed my family and friends and OMG the FOOD. (the latter gifted me 20 extra pounds to take back to the Philippines) As I went back to visit the people nearest and dearest to my heart, unfortunately not having enough time to see all of them,  I couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. How much has changed in just those five years amazed me. I felt so odd when I visited my old workplace. I hardly remembered the halls I once roamed for three years. It felt so much farther back in time than it was that it almost felt like a dream rather than actual memories. I also found some odd connection to my hometown of Los Angeles that I don’t remember ever having in all the time that I lived there. Perhaps being away for as long I had gave me some new perspective of my birthplace that was something other than being at odds with it and not feeling like I belonged. Basically I can say I don’t hate L.A. as much as I did when I was so desperate to move away from it.

After graduating, I had so many things I still needed to complete before I could even begin to search for my new direction in life. I had to change my student visa status which was a trying and pricey task. I had to finalize the printing and binding of my thesis which I finally managed to do only a month ago…ahh ever the procrastinator that I, at times, can be.

As a part of my student visa downgrading tasks of having to deport myself briefly and return with tourist visa status, I was able to check off yet another goal of mine from my ever changing and growing bucket list. My ma and I made a three day vacation of it in Tokyo, Japan. This was a city I had wanted to visit for years but had to work at convincing my mom to let our trip itinerary be in Tokyo. With her memories of WW2 as a child, I couldn’t really blame her but thankfully she finally said yes. Tokyo is a remarkable city with a lot of history and traditions. We found the Japanese people to be some of the most respectful, disciplined, welcoming and helpful people we ever had the honor of meeting throughout our travels. There were a handful of standout moments like where one young lady even walked opposite of her direction to help show us where our hotel was. I definitely will make plans to return one day but for longer than the three days we were there and make sure that I go to Mount Fuji. 

Out of what I had hoped to accomplish from what I wrote last new year, I only managed to check off a few but hey, we all know that even one being checked off is practically a miracle for many of us.

I did get to learn a new language, bombarding my phone with language apps. I have managed to nearly memorize the Hangul alphabet. Now I just need to start memorizing the actual vocabulary and I’ll be good. I can now at least read several of the ingredients on Korean cosmetics and skincare products.  I have also added some words in Chinese, Japanese, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, German, Gaelic, and Russian. (I tried Arabic but I need a one on one assistance with that one rather than an app) In one or two more years I hope to at least be mediocre in my ability to speak and understand Korean while learning a few more words from other languages. Of course I sometimes get confused as hell mixing up foreign words and their translations in my head. Some Chinese leaks into Korean sentences and Portuguese gets muddled with Spanish, Italian and French. The proper pronunciations and accents also get flipped around. I already had this issue with my second language, Tagalog, finding itself mixed in with my first language of English (U.S.) With my memory issues also adding to this problem, I may find myself one day accidentally saying a multilingual sentence without realizing it. I already have a bad habit of going Taglish around people who only understand the English part. 

I did cook and bake a lot more this year than I did last year to the point that my mother is complaining that I am spending too much money and time on ingredients for my baked concoctions. I even took the time to cook vegan dishes for much of my school lunches during my last semester. I did love to bake more often than cooking this year thus partly to blame for my added weight gain…

As one recent unsolicited comment from a male FB acquaintance said…”u really fat” Yes, darlin’, thank you so much for that ‘oh so keen’ observation (FYI I have a mirror and a plucking scale of my own. I don’t need input I didn’t ask for nor need. Ever heard the phrase “if you ain’t got nothing nice to say...shut tf up”?) . As he so gracefully put it, yes I’ll admit I added a bit more junk in my trunk this year rather than shedding it. And? Yeah so I admit, I piled on the dessert and snacks and revisited my obsession with video games that had me mimic the physical actions of a sloth or an overly blubbered seal to the point that I nearly gave myself tennis elbow and the posture of Igor. It also didn’t help that my fybro kept flaring up on and off this year which made me feel like a Golden Girl could take me down in one fell swoop and outrun me. Not to mention my constant and annoying friend that is called clinical depression and chronic anxiety that kept nipping at my heels that I’m lucky that I can even act like a functioning human most of the time. The fact that I can tell my inner negative voice to shut the duck up most of the time and ignore it, as well as wishing to not wake up at all only twice this year is a frakking miracle in itself. (Seriously though...what is up with some people that feel the need to foist their shallow insights on those that did not solicit it. And the added ludicrousness that sometimes this is supposed to lead into a flirt-on...I mean what kind of hells bells reverse psychology load of horse manure is that?)      

Unfortunately I did not read any books this year but I did read more news articles and try to keep myself up to date on current events. (and try tried to stay sane while reading them)

My writing progress stalled and I only have a long list of story ideas to show from it. There is one story I recently started outlining that I find hopeful. I think it has the legs to be a decent script if I can manage to focus on its development. That will be a big focus this coming year…to gain some momentum in my writing.

(currently being distracted by the onslaught of illegal fireworks popping in my neighborhood, hoping my house and neighborhood manages to survive these irresponsible idiots.)

The promise to keep up with my daily checklist died a hollow death early on in the year with my senior year and thesis weighing me down from being able to stay consistent. Well there’s always next year.

Sadly I didn’t get any higher in Gurushots but I did get one of my shot viewed along with other peoples work at a showing. Yay for the small things!

I did sell several of my clothes and accessories but still way more to go before I can say I am done. Like a HEEP load. Every time I see some clothes I want to buy I have to keep repeating “no more clothes” over and over again. I just try to picture Hasan Minhaj’s piece on fast fashion to control those horrible habits of mine. 

Even though I didn’t successfully check off a lot of what I wanted to complete for this year, I still look back to this year as a decent one even with my ever present depression and anxiety looming over me. Dude, I graduated college, I learned a new language, and I knocked off Tokyo from my bucket list. I think that was enough to make my year above meh and almost a big YAY!

As I near the close of this annual report of mine, I list these goals and hopes not set in stone but in rainbows (oh yes I just went there into ridiculousness!!!)

May I find a job I actually like rather than what I just deem as a necessary obligation to obtain a paycheck.

I will learn enough Korean to be able to legitimately claim that I am multilingual.

Finish reading the books that I have collected on my shelf before I leave the Philippines.

Cook and bake with a bit more flair and add more complicated dishes to my repertoire.

Sell and clear out more of my shit to prepare me for our move back stateside if all goes according to plan.

If I manage to shed enough off my caboose to fit in the jeans I already own that will be a small victory in itself and the only goal that deals with my rollipollies for the year. If any extra manages to come off along the way that’ll be just an added bonus.

Hitting reset on my daily checklist and will do my best to let it last longer than last year (I can say that now as it is currently past midnight and officially 2020 in my neck of the woods)

If I do move back stateside this year I will start saving towards my future goal of getting me a tiny home. (Seriously the perfect solution to my wanting a permanent home but not a permanent address and thus my added reason to shed the burden of most of my crap)

Complete my story outline and treatment and finalize the first draft of a 45 minute script.

Delve a bit more into my art and photography as well.

Get more sleep…(crappy sleeping habits I can lay blame to my current gaming and ongoing kdrama addiction and mindless internet browsing habits)

Begin volunteering once again.

With my final moving destination still unknown dependent on the job prospects I get, pretty sure I won’t be able to mark off any other travel destinations or adventures for the coming year.

Just be healthier not only in body but in mind and soul overall. I need to work on alleviating my health issues that aggravate my fybro as well as my anxiety. If my brain could shut the frak up and calm the frak down, and keep my ma’s schizophrenic outbursts and episodes to no more than an hour a day at least once in a while would be oh so lovely.

As long as I keep going and progress even in baby steps I will eventually get there.

For those that know me and my political ideology, they know what I especially hope for this year. Please oh please if there are any actual deities that exist or even if there isn’t…please let that outcome be a good one.

Now I end my annual New Year musings with a Happy New Years greeting to everyone. May we all find good and peace in this new year and may we have a better decade than the last one.

Goodbye 2019, I can’t say I’ll really miss thee. And goodbye to another decade.

Hello 2020, be better dammit and I promise that I will strive towards making it a positive and productive one for me, my family, my friends and with that, some decent contribution to this world we all live in.