#I still have not learnt how to tag and never will<3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[candytuft-whimsing]

Yeah I gave into the SpyXFamily AU too

Not sure if these designs stay but wanted to do smth

[myownwholewildworld]

a man called joel (part 3)

↪ a "a man called otto" inspired fic ― jackson!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist | follow @arranupdates for notifs! | AO3 summary: it's been four weeks since your patrol with joel. and while you try to forget about him and settle into your new life in Jackson, there's an inside voice screaming at you. one that you can't ignore and, thankfully, you don't. author's note: i, uh... well. part 3 is here! this is the scene i envisioned when i first thought of this series. not gonna lie, i'm nervous about posting this one. i hope you guys enjoy it (as much as angst can be enjoyed, that is). as always, please heed the warnings and if you like what you read, please consider interacting with this post or come yap at me! love you all <3 tags/warnings: 18+, mdni. ANGST. ellie makes an apperance and she's ruthless with joel (i'm sorry). joel breaks. suicide attempt. vomitting. tiny mention of blood. wound tending. a load of angst yes, but this time there's some angsty comfort too! dual pov. quotes from "a hundread years of solitude" on joel's pov; quotes from "chronicle of a death foretold" on reader's pov. reader is female, has hair. no use of y/n. joel is 61 and reader is 46. wordcount: ~8.6k. divider by @\saradika-graphics

Hurt wouldn’t even cover it. Disappointed was more like it—not with Joel, but with yourself. For allowing yourself to care too much about a stranger, for worrying over those who didn’t bother to at least be nice in return.

Should have learnt this was not how the world worked anymore, decades ago. The apocalypse had changed humanity, brought out the worst of people. And yet again, every time you encountered someone in need, you’d lend a hand. Only to have it bitten off by the harsh crudeness of this new reality that had been haunting you since the beginning of it all.

Time and time again, you had stumbled with the same stone—the stone of hope. When the virus took hold of what little remained of societal decency, you told yourself people were only scared, that was why they were cruelly acting out. When your partner became bitter and erratic, you again told yourself it was only because of desperation. When havoc caused division within your group, you tried to assuage them.

You’d always tried—it was in your nature, part of who you were. And if there was something you were proud of, was that you never let go of the values your parents taught you. Perhaps you were too kind-hearted for this vicious world. But you refused to allow the circumstances to change who you were at your core.

Despite the conviction, it was terribly hard to constantly extend a hand to others. You were drained. Not of purpose, but because of rejection. Having lost everyone who had accompanied you since the beginning, finding yourself alone now in this decrepit world… It was taking a big mental toll on you. And when you saw the pain disguised as bluntness in Joel, a piece of you reached out to him—the fixer in you had clung to the last dregs of him. Perhaps you didn’t know him but knew his harrowing agony. Knew what being the outcast felt like, what loneliness was. Knew the torment of what if, the misery of why didn’t I.

You were drowning in your own thoughts, overthinking the situation until you worried yourself to sleep. And in a moment of weakness right after your patrol with Joel, you had asked Tommy if you could move to a different house. Not your proudest moment.

“Anything wrong with the one you are in now? Pipes all good?” Tommy had asked you when you approached him in the community hall after ensuring Joel was nowhere to be seen.

“Ah, no. Yeah, pipes are good now, thanks,” you had lied, still feeling guilty about having to block one to match the excuse you’d given him. “It’s just, uh… It’s too big of a house for just me, I’m sure a family would make good use of it. I’m happy to live somewhere smaller.”

And somehow, he’d seen through your lie this time around. The way his brows had furrowed as the inner working of his brain put the pieces together was eerily familiar—a shared mannerism between the Millers.

“Has Joel done or said something stupid?” When you didn’t reply, trying to hide your betraying expression, he had huffed. “Such a fucking prick. Is that why you’ve asked Maria to change your patrol shifts too? I swear, when I catch him!”

You reassured Tommy over and over again that neither of those two asks had anything to do with his older brother. Theatrics was never your forte, so whether he bought it or not, you didn’t know.

Now you just felt silly for letting Joel doubt yourself, what you stood for. His rejection shouldn’t set you back.

He doesn’t want my help? Fine then. I’ll help someone else.

But as that thought formed, your mind drifted away to that fateful patrol day. How you found him, frozen in front of that clicker. How the despair and regret flickered in the brown bark of his eyes. How the knife slipped from his hand—Wait, or did he drop it? Did he mean not to put up any fight? Did he mean to give up? Did he mean to let the infected kill him?

Did he mean to commit suicide?

No. He wouldn’t. He’s got a family, you thought, your mind jarring and struggling with the daunting idea of someone ending their life.

But did having a family really mean anything? Did having a family mean you didn’t feel alone? You knew it didn’t.

Perhaps I didn’t see it right, perhaps the knife did slip.

But if it did, why would you find him crying? Looking down at your hands, you rubbed your fingers together—you could still feel the dampness of his tears, the wetness of his desperation, from when you cradled his weathered face and brushed the tears away.

Your mind drifted back to your conversation with Tommy three weeks ago, the unsettling feeling returning to your belly.

“Have you checked in on him lately?” The question had slipped before you could refrain yourself from asking. Because despite how rude he’d been, you still worried about him, especially after what you thought you saw with the clicker in the outbuilding.

“Who? Joel? He’s fine. He’s always been this grumpy, don’t worry about him,” Tommy had said with a laugh and a wave of his hand. “Why you ask?”

You did really consider mentioning what you had witnessed on patrol, but didn’t want to cause any more trouble between the brothers if you were wrong. Besides, it was obvious Joel wasn’t seeking any help.

Are you fucking stupid or are you just pretending to be?

Your muscles stiffened suddenly, the disrespect of his words rummaging in the fresh gaping wound in your chest. How some simple sentence almost had you folded—a slap in the face would have hurt less. The despise in his eyes, how he backed up like a cornered animal when you reached for him again—as if the mere thought of you was disgusting, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of you putting your hands on him again.

Your heart stirred uncomfortable in your chest, a heavy, surrendered sigh escaping from your lips. How could a stranger’s rejection have such a big impact on you?

Just let it go. He doesn’t want your help. Move on.

A knock on your door startled you. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you untucked your legs from underneath you before throwing the blanket aside and standing up off the couch. It was almost midnight, the deadly quiet of the night amplifying the sound of the wind rustling leaves nearby, and you were not expecting any visitors.

Leaving the book—the one where you had gotten stuck reading the same paragraph repeatedly while your mind drifted away—on the side table, you tiptoed to the front door. Looking through the peephole, your blood froze.

Right there, standing on your porch in the dead of night, was the personification of your hurt. Joel Miller. In the darkness, he still looked tired and restless. When was the last time he slept? you wondered. Joel Miller looked like a man with one foot in the grave.

Your fingers curled around the handle, but you hesitated—what could he possibly want at this ungodly hour? He’d probably seen the orange shadow your lamp casted on the living room’s window, so there was no point in pretending you weren’t awake. But still, you stalled.

Joel raised his fist to knock again but thought better of it. You saw the doubt dancing in the whisky hue of his irises, all resolution abandoning him. His lips fell into a flat line and then nodded to himself before turning around.

Your heart raced and before he could walk away, you swung the door open.

“Joel?” you whispered, switching on the porchlight and hugging yourself when the cold breeze hit you.

Joel’s bowed head snapped up, his shoulders squaring instantly. For a brief second, he paused—as if he considered playing deaf and running away. Slowly Joel veered around and faced you.

His worn expression took you aback. Perhaps the cast of the porchlight magnified the dark circles under his orbs, the yellowish tint of the bruise kissing the exposed skin of his neck, the deep creasing lines around his eyes and mouth.

Joel Miller was a man who looked… defeated? Torn? Exhausted? Purposeless?

“Uh, hi,” he muttered in return, his eyes taking in the sight of you after your name rolled easily off his tongue.

You felt more self-conscious now—you were barefoot, hadn’t taken care of your hair today, and you had the worst pyjamas on, holes and old stains included. So unwittingly, you hugged yourself harder.

“Hi, Joel,” you repeated. “What do you want?”

You didn’t intend for your question to have a resentful hint, but it did. It just slipped, like the knife off his hand.

“Uhm,” his hand flew to the back of his neck, his lips flattening even more. “I, uh… Well…”

He hadn’t said much yet, but you sensed what this late-night visit could be about. Was he about to ask for your forgiveness? An actual, heart-felt apology for the crudeness of his actions and words. In all honesty, that was all you needed to acquit his behaviour. Everyone deserved a second chance, deserved to right a wrong.

You watched him struggle for words as your heart raced expectantly, fighting back the tiny smile that threatened to curl your lips a tad too early.

“I… Yeah. I was wondering if I could borrow that book you recommended on our last day of patrol?” Joel stumbled over his own words, his jaw locking. “Chronicle of a Death Foretold?”

The warm feeling swarming your belly soon turned cold. Heavy, churning, your disappointment so thick you had to swallow to untie the knot in your throat. Why should you expect something different? An apology from him? You almost scoffed at your risible occurrence.

“Is that it?” you mumbled in a vain attempt to hide your frustration.

Joel paused, mouth opening and closing fast as thunder. His Adam’s apple bobbed, words hitching at the back of his throat. You could see the pulleys of his mind at work in the windows of his eyes, the only tell he couldn’t govern.

And yet again, disillusionment followed.

“Yeah,” another uncomfortable silence. Joel’s posture shifted, his fists clenching. “I just finished my book, so I have nothing to read.”

“No, sorry,” you gritted, sensing your own annoyance building up. “I haven’t finished it yet.”

If your retort took him aback, you couldn’t tell. Joel just gave you a stern nod instead, his determination deflating behind his brown eyes. Was he so proud he wouldn’t admit he’d treated you wrong?

“Right, sorry to disturb. Night,” and as fast as he came, Joel was gone.

You saw him crossing the thick blanket of snow, head buried between his shoulders, before he disappeared through his front door.

Every day for the next week, you warred with yourself. Perhaps it was your people-pleasing tendencies, but more than once you caught yourself before walking up the steps of Joel’s porch and offering him Gabo’s book.

It was a losing battle though. Eventually you’d wave a white flag, stick it in the middle of the street between Joel’s and your house. Claim that it was his fault that you hadn’t given in for not opening up, for not being brave enough to say what he came to say—or what you thought he came to say.

But upon reflection, forcing someone to acknowledge their grief, their solitude, their struggles, was not the best approach. Trust required time, and it was obvious Joel Miller needed more than that. You were now convinced that he truly was at the end of his wits. The knife hadn’t slipped, he’d dropped it—it was as clear as the sun would rise tomorrow over his roof.

You wondered if his family knew, if he had at least confided in someone. Because if he hadn’t, then this secret you were keeping was eating away at the confines of your contrition. It would tear you apart, being complicit in his pain.

Sat on the bay window of your living room, you read again the last paragraph of the book.

“Santiago, my son,” she shouted to him, “what has happened to you?” “They've killed me, Wene child,” he said. He stumbled on the last step, but he got up at once. “He even took care to brush off the dirt that was stuck to his guts,” my Aunt Wene told me. Then he went into his house through the back door that had been open since six and fell on his face in the kitchen.

The last word echoed in your mind, so loud you had to whisper it. Kitchen. You said it again with a trembling sigh, wearing it out, flushing it out of your brain.

Why did you suddenly have this déjà vu, anxiety-like feeling sinking in the pit of your stomach?

As you’d done at least a dozen times in the last two hours, your eyes moved away from the yellowed pages across the street. In his porch, Joel was still in the same position as you last checked on him. Impassive like a statue, you wondered if he’d frozen up with the chilling temperatures. He’d been sitting on that bench for over two hours now, staring into the distance as his only pastime. Waiting. For something to happen. Or someone to show up.

It worried you how he hadn’t moved an inch, what was in his mind that had him under such a numbing spell. Perhaps you should intervene now, talk to him, ask him why he was out there alone wrapped in the blanket of such misty night.

But before you could make up your mind, someone did appear. Getting closer to the window glass, you watched from behind the curtains how the girl approached the porch. Her stance was rigid, her features young. She was clearly a teenager, then it hit you. Did Joel have a daughter?

The moment Joel saw her, he jumped up to his feet instantly, his posture as stiff as hers. The girl huffed, her shoulders slouching, as she walked past the steps where Joel was standing. He must have shouted back, because her head sank between her shoulders—a gesture you had seen Joel do just a week ago.

The teenager turned around, her face fierce as she replied something you didn’t quite catch. By the way her hands moved as she spoke, and how Joel’s demeanour soured even from the distance, you knew a heated argument had ensued between the two. It only lasted a minute or two before the girl stormed off, walking around the house and heading towards the garage at the back.

Your attention drifted back to Joel, who was still at the top of the stairs. You couldn’t fully see his face, only his profile—but whatever had just happened, had affected him. His right hand curled around the banister while his eyes tracked his daughter walking away and his left clutched at his chest, his stance shifting as if he was in unbearable pain. Joel remained still for another minute, and you wished you knew what was crossing his mind at that precise moment.

He looked so lonely. So broken. So… lifeless. The stillness of his posture spoke of something deeper, a sorrow so heavy it would compete with Atlas carrying the weight of the world. As if he tiptoed on the edge of life—staring into the abyss, pondering, weighing his worth.

Your heart clenched at the sight of him alone on that porch. Only if you could reach out, tell him whatever it was, it would be okay.

Why doesn’t it register in your fucking brains that I want to be left alone, huh?

But as you saw him steeling himself and walking back inside, your insides churned. You knelt on the window bay, watching the ajar door Joel had left behind.

An impending sense of doom flushed through you, your heart racing wildly, your breathing quickening.

“The truth is I didn’t know what to do,” he told me. “My first thought was that it wasn’t any business of mine but something for the civil authorities, but then I made up my mind to say something in passing to Placida Linero.” Yet when he crossed the square, he’d forgotten completely. “You have to understand,” he told me, “that the bishop was coming that day.”

But did you? Did you know what to do? Would you intervene, even if there was only a very thin possibility you were right, when your mind, your soul, was screaming at you right now?

Your heart jolted in your chest, mind fuzzy with doubt. While the Vicario brothers had been the ones to skew Santiago Nasar’s life, Joel’s Grim Reaper could be someone scarier—himself.

Maybe I’m just overreacting, reading into it far too much, you tried to convince yourself.

But as minutes went by, eyes glued to his front door, not doing anything wasn’t an option. Not when your heart and mind knew there was something wrong. You couldn’t explain why or what it was, just that it was.

Getting up, you grabbed an old cardigan, slipped your feet into the winter boots laying on the floor by your front door, and sprinted outside with the book tucked under your elbow.

You sprinted across the blizzard, reaching Joel’s porch within seconds. And even though the door was clearly not shut, you still knocked.

“Joel?” you called out, controlling the tremor in your voice. “I finished the book. I was wondering if you wanted to borrow it now?”

No reply, silence followed your feeble attempt at reconciliation.

With your heart climbing up your throat, you knocked again, the door cracking open a bit more.

“Joel?”

Nothing.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open and walked inside, putting your guard up to whatever you would find. The hallway was dark and cold, the wintery breeze whistling past you. Softly closing the door behind you, you put down the book on the console table and peeked inside the living room.

The decoration was rustic, some dark woods contrasting with the soft blue on the walls. Every piece of furniture looked crafted, curated, not like the mustard couch you had falling apart in the middle of your living room. The fireplace was still crackling, the embers glowing under the soft light of a standing lamp in the corner. But it was empty.

Your instinct told you to move further down the house, and you did in silence. It was so quiet, you were sure your heartbeat could be heard from a mile away. Trudging past the dining room, you got to the kitchen.

“There had never been a death so foretold.”

Your breath hitched; your heart stilled. Under the doorframe you froze, like a rabbit in the presence of a predator. Only you were no prey—Joel was.

Prey to the drowning solitude of his home, of his own loneliness, of life itself.

Prey to the forgetfulness of death—an omen that now made sense, a subtle hint you hadn’t first fully comprehended when he recited those words to you three weeks ago.

Prey to a desperation so thick, it was literally killing him.

Prey to masquerading his pain, deceitful in his actions, in his rude, careless demeanour.

“He was healthier than the rest of us, but when you listened with the stethoscope you could hear the tears bubbling inside his heart.”

Perhaps you couldn’t hear the bubbling of his heart, but you could definitely see the foam pooling at the corners of his mouth as his legs twitched on the floor of his poorly-lit kitchen.

The ephemeral moment stretched for a second too long as your mind tried to grasp what your heart already knew.

Joel was ending it—his life. The suffering. The heartache. The desolation. The guilt he carried, for whatever he thought was unforgivable.

No.

And in the blink of an eye, you lurched forward, your knees skidding on the scratched wooden planks as you landed by his side. His whole body convulsed, his limbs shaking the life out of him, draining him. The chattering of his teeth gritting made your belly churn as tears welled up.

“Joel. Oh my God, Joel!” You whispered, trembling hands hovering over him as your eyes roved over the gut-wrenching vision in front of you. “No, no, no!”

Your desperate wails became louder, but your mind got sharper. This couldn’t be happening. You needed to act now if you were to save his life, there was no time to run out and scream for help. Joel had no time left.

You rolled him over to his side, an inner debate happening as you did.

Should I? If this is what he really wants, if his pain is so great he’s decided to end it, should I intervene? Who am I to take the choice away from him?

But at the end of the day, the real question was: could you live with yourself if you let him die? Could you look at Tommy’s eyes, at Benji’s or Maria’s, and tell them you didn’t dare intercede? That you rather watch him die than having him resent you even more?

What is one more ounce of hate?

And with that thought, your selfish decision was made. Craning his head back a little and holding his jaw with your left hand, you sank three fingers down his foamy mouth, pressing them down on his tongue.

Joel retched, even in his almost gone state.

His eyes fluttered open for an ephemeral moment, tears smudging the beautiful chestnut of his irises, to then shut while his limbs kicked everywhere.

“No, Joel, please,” you pleaded in a sob, forcing your fingers deeper down his throat and pressing down on his tongue again. “P-please come back to me.”

Finally—thankfully—Joel heaved, and you let go of an audible, relieving cry when you felt the warmth of his vomit running past your fingers. You gently held his head tilted towards the floor so his airway wouldn’t block and removed your fingers from his mouth.

“Oh, thank goodness,” you sighed tremblingly, rubbing his shoulder before you raked your fingers through his soft, silvery curls, so his hair wouldn’t be in his eyes. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Oh, God. Please, be okay. Please, Joel.”

He had a nasty cut on his left temple running down to his brow, probably from plummeting onto the floor and hitting his head on the countertop. It was still bleeding, but there were more pressing matters.

Joel stayed down for a minute while you whispered your relief, it was obvious his brain had been battling for oxygen and was trying to come back to reality. You brushed his cheek with your thumb before he showed signs of wanting to sit up.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, you did. Joel leaned back, back resting against the kitchen island. It took him a second before his misty eyes focused on you, his breathing as shaky as your soul.

Under his intense stare you froze again, kneeling in front of him. His eyes were windows to a profound desperation, a grief so deep you’d only dared to imagine, but one you felt down to your core, in your bones. It hit you like a massive wave, flooding your chest with a dread you hadn’t let yourself feel since you arrived at Jackson.

“Joel…” you hushed faintly, one hand reaching up to his shoulder, a comforting caress.

He didn’t reject your advance. And that was when you knew he was broken inside. All pieces of him scattered around like shards of glass, a puzzle with missing bits—the most important ones. The ones that made him, him.

And then Joel swallowed hard before covering his eyes with one broad palm. His shoulders shook in silence, and with that your heart shrank and fell freely into the pit of your stomach.

“Oh, Joel,” you mumbled shakily, scooting over towards him and embracing him, wrapping him in your warmth.

Instead of denying his own tears as he did on patrol, Joel cried. Soft, heartbreaking sobs that found root in your heart, and you just couldn’t help yourself but hug him tighter, fighting your tears back at how low he’d fallen to be openly vulnerable with you.

“It’s okay, Joel, you’re okay,” the words stuck to the back of your mouth. “Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise. Whatever it is, I will help you. You’re not alone, Joel. You aren’t. I’m here. I’ll always be here if you need me to. It’s okay.”

You cradled the back of his head with one hand while the other was firmly on his back, bringing him closer to you. And when you felt one of his on the small of your back in a half embrace, thick tears sprang to your eyes.

You held him tight, allowing him to brush some of the weight he carried off his shoulders. And then, your own guilt began suffocating you. Was he crying because you took the choice away from him? Because he wasn’t dead? Because he wasn’t resting?

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t… I just… I’m sorry. I couldn’t let you go. Please, forgive me. I just couldn’t,” you begged of him, a plea for lenience that escaped before you could wish it back.

Fifteen minutes earlier...

“You’re very late, Ellie,” Joel reproached, arms folded at the top of the steps.

He fought to keep his tone steady, he hated doing this. He’d been worried sick all night, wondering where Ellie was. The catastrophist in him had already imagined every single scenario where she’d be hurt or left for dead in a trench. He’d felt so anxious for the last three hours, Joel had to set aside the carving he had been working on after messing it up twice.

Seeing her walking towards the house had filled him with an immense relief, his heart beating so fast he was afraid it would grow legs and run away. But dread quickly followed—the father in him couldn’t just sweep it under the rug. Ellie needed to be reminded of the rules. And she’d put up a fight, make him the bad guy.

And despite being okay with becoming the villain in her story, it still hurt him. A wound so deep that his heart was splintering, because he didn’t really want to do it. Didn’t want to grow further apart from her, the abyss between them so big now it seemed insurmountable. Their relationship was almost beyond repair—he was painfully aware of it—and telling her off for coming home late would only complicate it more.

But he couldn’t just ignore it. He had to do something.

Ellie’s shoulders dropped as she walked past him towards the garage, blatantly disregarding his presence.

Another chink in his already hollering heart.

“Ellie, I’m talking to you,” he raised his voice, warring with himself to keep a calm demeanour. “It’s past two in the morning. You should have come home at least three hours ago.”

Ellie stopped right in her tracks, turning around to face him. The despise in her eyes was as fiery as it was seven months ago when she learnt the truth. And despite the passage of time, it hurt all the same, if not more.

“Who do you think you are to control my every move?” She hissed between gritted teeth, cocking a querying brow.

Your father, was the innate response that burnt the tip of his tongue. Joel fought back the words, knowing full well they would only aggravate the situation.

“What? Do you really think you’re my dad?” Ellie scoffed loudly, an instigating smile curling her mouth.

It didn’t reach her eyes, more of a frustrated grimace than anything else, but still a knife through the heart would have hurt less—Ellie’s words so perfectly aimed, they’d hit the bullseye, causing internal bleeding. Joel felt a stabbing sensation behind his eyes but reined the feeling in with a deep breath.

She doesn’t mean it, she’s angry, he reminded himself.

“I may not be your biological father, but—”

“No, Joel. There’s no but. You aren’t my dad,” Ellie gritted in frustration, her hands moving as she kept on going at him. “My real dad wouldn’t have lied to me for more than four years about what happened in the hospital. My real dad wouldn’t have taken away from me the only thing that made me valuable to this world. My real dad wouldn’t have promised to not kill Eugene to then fucking shoot him while I was gone!”

She knew how to twist the knife, how to make the wound even worse than it already was. Joel’s mouth ran dry, a gurgling void consuming the pit of his stomach as the words settled in his brain. His heart was beating so hard, his eardrums were about to explode.

Joel needed to redirect the conversation before Ellie said something that would tip him over the edge. He needed to keep a cool mind, try not to let her accusations take root in his heart. Joel had to bite back, “I did do all of it because I love you like my own blood, Ellie. You are more valuable than your immunity, that’s not what makes you, you, not to me. And I would do it all over again if I had the chance.”

“Why are you late? Who were you with?” he said instead, swallowing the suffocating knot in his throat.

Ellie laughed in disbelief, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

“Why do you want to know? So you can go and kill them too for keeping me away from this dreadful house?” she retorted back, huffing. “Since that’s how you deal with every fucking problem in your life. Kill them all, right?”

“Because I’m your guardian—”

“—I’m nineteen, Joel. I don’t fucking need you—”

“And as long as you live under my roof, you’ll play by my rules,” he finished, ignoring her interruption.

“Then perhaps I should move out!” Ellie shouted at him, taking a step back. “God, were you this insufferable with Sarah too? Because if you were, I’m sure she hated you for being the worst dad ever. Perhaps it was for the better.”

Ellie didn’t need to specify what was for the better, Joel caught the meaning instantly. That she died.

That was a way to take the knife out of the gaping wound to have him bleed to death. Her cruelness left him speechless, the prickling feeling at the back of his eyes returning. That was the lowest blow he’d ever received; one he didn’t expect from someone he held so dear despite the souring of their relationship.

“You don’t mean that,” Joel whispered, forcing himself to swallow.

Ellie paused—her expression faltered for an instant, perhaps realising the damage she’d caused, but her anger blinded her, stronger than the side of her that wanted to apologise.

“I’m tired,” she mumbled suddenly, her anger slowly deflating, taking a few steps away.

“Ellie,” Joel called under his shaky breath. “I—”

I’m sorry. I wish I could have done better. I just wanted to protect you. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another child, of losing you. Perhaps you don’t understand how much I love you, how there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. Maybe one day you’ll know, you’ll understand why I did what I did. I’m really sorry.

“It’s late,” Ellie cut him off. “And I better go to bed before you kick my ass.”

And with that, she disappeared into the gloomy night.

I’ve already lost her too.

The realisation hit him like a sledgehammer, so hard it made him stagger. Joel grabbed the handrail for support, his other hand flying to his chest. His heart was pumping so hard, it almost felt like that muscle was about to give out.

It felt like his heart had been ripped out, chucked on the floor for someone to stomp. Joel truly had no reason to be here anymore―the only tether to keep him earthbound had just been severed.

Ellie wasn’t angry with him, no; she hated him. So much that she hadn’t hesitated to bring Sarah up in conversation, knowing how much of a touchy subject it was for Joel. His memories of his daughter were fading, so ethereal now Joel almost thought he dreamt her. The only ones that were vivid in his brain were the bad ones—all the poor decisions he made, in the last few hours of her life.

Grief was a funny thing—how it gave a loud voice to his mistakes and drowned the actual good things he did for her, how it made him focus on the bad rather than the good. He sometimes even doubted if he’d ever been good to Sarah at all—good enough at least, better than his own father was.

“The heart’s memory is selective, which is the basis of its deceitfulness.”

Ellie throwing that accusation at him had only enlivened his most dreadful fear. Had he been the worst dad to Sarah? Had she hated him too? Did she blame him for her death, for his low reaction response, for not taking the bullet for her?

I wanted to. I wish I could have. I wish it had been me.

Taking a big, shaky breath, Joel made the decision he’d been postponing for four weeks now in the hopes that the situation would get better, that he would feel better. However, it had only gotten worse. Ellie had been very clear that she didn’t need him anymore, that he was just a hindrance to her life—a reminder of how she’d failed humanity. Tommy didn’t need him either; he had a thriving family of his own, and Joel was convinced that his sombre presence would only do more harm than good.

And without his family, there was nothing left for him to do on this earthly plane. Joel was exhausted—the kind of mental fatigue that only a deep, forever sleep would cure. And he was done with it all; with this feeling of harrowing melancholy, of drowning loneliness, of death sniffing at the cuffs of his pants.

He couldn’t bear the thought of one hundred years of solitude, not anymore. Joel had lived his life and had nothing left to give.

In a blurry haze, he walked inside his home.

“[…] not knowing what he was doing because he did not know where his feet were or where his head was, or whose feet or whose head, and feeling that he could no longer resist the glacial rumbling of his kidneys and the air of his intestines, and fear, and the bewildered anxiety to flee and at the same time stay forever in that exasperated silence and that fearful solitude.”

It all happened as if he wasn’t even in control of his own actions. As if he was watching himself from outside, completely detached from his own body. A void in his mind so big, there had been no room for thought. With trembling hands, Joel had taken out the two letters he’d written to Tommy and Ellie and smoothed them down on the kitchen counter besides the sink before he’d headed to the medicine cabinet. Anything he could blindly reach for would do.

It had only taken a few minutes for all the pills to make him feel sick.

Next thing he knew, Joel was on the floor, sweating and drifting away in agony—his mind spiralling, his throat itching with bile, his stomach burning.

And when he blinked alive again and saw you there, Joel thought you were a vision, that you really weren’t there. That perhaps, finally, he had succeeded, and you were there to guide him into the afterlife.

But the moment you hugged him, the moment he felt himself bound to Earth again, Joel knew he wasn’t dreaming. This was real—you were real. The person he’d mistreated at every opportunity, so much he’d seen the hurt in your eyes and regretted it.

Joel tried to mend his mistake—tried to apologise the night he walked up to your porch at the stroke of midnight. But his resolution had wavered, and his stupid ass had asked for the book instead. The disappointment in your features still haunted him, even at Death’s door.

And yet, here you were, comforting him at his lowest, seeing the ache he’d carried for so long pour out into the world.

Joel had not been able to contain the tears, the desperation trickling out the cracks of his shattered soul, soaking the fabric of your cardigan. And as much as he hated being vulnerable, he just couldn’t rein his demons back in.

The loss he felt was greater than anything he’d experienced before. So loud, yet so quiet in its disguise; so alien, yet so eerily familiar in its pain; so suffocating, yet so freeing in its release. He’d lost so much of himself over the past few months, there was nothing left of him—just a carcass of his existence, a cocoon that kept the jagged pieces of his being feebly glued together, just enough to keep him standing for the people he loved.

Not people, just the one person who grounded his world, Ellie. And with her deeming him expendable, what was there left to fight for? What was his reason for existing if not to be a better version of himself with Ellie by his side?

At sixty-one, all joy and happiness had snuffed out of his life.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t… I just… I’m sorry. I couldn’t let you go. Please, forgive me. I just couldn’t.”

And then there was you, apologising for bringing him back, for pulling his strings like an expert puppeteer. For undoing his choice without a second thought. For forcing him back into a dark, soul-crushing world.

Should he be mad? Yes, but Joel had no energy left to confront you nor anyone. His throat was ablaze and sore, the aftertaste tingling on his tongue. And then the exhaustion—he was so fucking tired, his arms felt heavier than usual, his legs almost paralysed. His tummy churned, another wave of nausea overtaking him.

His head snapped to one side when the bile rose up his throat. He couldn’t stop the retching before he vomited again, fire climbing up his mouth with a pungent, acidic tang.

You didn’t even flinch, didn’t even step back away from him when he almost puked on you. Instead, you patted his shoulder before your hand travelled up the back of his neck to skim his curls back and away from his forehead. The caress was so gentle, so comforting and almost intimate, it made his skin crawl.

“Why… why are you here?” Joel asked gruffly, brushing his mouth with the back of his still shaky hand.

Your fingers dropped from his hair, your eyes full of a compassion he’d never witnessed before. They were warm and calming, bright under the orange glow of the overhead light. But they also had a sadness to it—almost as if you understood him, as if you knew what he was going through.

Sitting back on your heels, you sighed. “I… I just finished reading Chronicle of a Death Foretold and thought you might wanna borrow it,” you uttered under your breath, your hands twisting on your lap, but your eyes were transfixed on him. “The truth is, I saw you on the porch with your daughter. And then I had this… urge to come see you.”

Joel didn’t correct you about Ellie. Despite how adamant she’d been about him not being a father to her, despite her cruelness, he still believed himself to be her dad. Because that was what fathers should do—love their kids unconditionally, even when they would hurt you with their spiteful words. Even when they would walk away and never look back. Even when they would banish you and disown you. Because even then, even after Ellie had implanted the seed for his descent into hell, Joel still loved her as his own, always would. No words or argument could ever change that.

The irony of your words didn’t escape him—had you foretold his death? This urge you spoke of, was destiny getting in the way of his not-so-well-crafted plan?

Joel cleared his throat, sitting up a bit, the back of his head still resting on the side panel of the kitchen island.

“You shouldn’t have,” was all he managed to whisper.

You shouldn’t have come. You shouldn’t have saved me. You should have let me die.

Your gaze dropped before your eyes flickered back to his. Remorseful, but determined. A beacon of hope, a lighthouse in the middle of a thunderstorm.

“I know,” you mumbled with a little shrug without breaking eye contact.

Joel’s chest felt suddenly heavy—like a stone had lodged itself between his ribs, his throat clamping up and it had nothing to do with wanting to puke again. Such a feeling was foreign to him, its warmth slowly flushing through his body.

“I’m tired. You should go,” was his way of disclaiming this alien sensation.

You quickly sprung up to action, his petition for you to leave fell on deaf ears. Squatting by his side, you slithered your left arm around the back of his waist to help him up, the other hand wrapped around his front to clutch at his ribs. Too tired to reject your assistance, Joel managed to get up to his feet.

He staggered back, the whole world spiralling around him as his mind felt extremely buzzy. His fingers curled around the rim of the kitchen island to steady himself, all the while you were still holding him.

“I’m not going anywhere. Let’s get you to bed.”

The side glance you threw his way admitted no discussion, so for once Joel kept quiet. Trudging on wobbly legs, he made it upstairs with you by his side, his right arm draped around your shoulders for stability and your fingers intertwined with his.

You opened the door to the bedroom he’d nodded to and walked him inside. You pushed him towards the bed and almost forced him to sit down on the mattress. Without saying a word, you knelt before him to undo the knots of his boots and slide them off his feet.

“Where do you keep your pyjamas?” You asked unfazed by it all, towering up to your full height.

Joel’s Adam’s apple bobbed. It felt too intimate, too… close for comfort.

“I’m just gonna get them for you and then I’m gonna step out while you change,” you explained with a soft smile. “You can’t sleep with those clothes on, Joel.”

“First drawer of the dresser,” he mumbled, mind still hazy.

You grabbed his plaid pyjamas and left them on the bed by his side. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Joel saw you disappearing through the doorframe. Moving at snail speed, he managed to change into his night clothes before you returned with a tray. You were balancing a jug, a glass and a small bowl on it, a clean cloth perched on your shoulder.

“You’ve got a nasty cut on your temple. I’m not good at stitching, but we should clean it up before it becomes infected,” you explained while placing the tray on the nightstand before sitting beside him.

Joel had no energy left to oppose your care, so he just let you do. Your feather-like touch on his temple was soothing—so much that his eyes shut close while you delicately wiped the blood off his skin. You were so gentle he didn’t even wince once, or perhaps his mind was so fuzzy there was no room for physical pain.

“All done,” you announced after a couple of minutes. “You gotta drink all that water, okay? You may feel sick again too, although I think you’ve thrown everything up now. But just in case, that’s what the bowl is for.”

Joel nodded thoughtlessly, taking the glass you had just passed him and downing it. He gave it back to you, who put it down on the nightstand again.

“Do you want me to go get someone? Your brother? Your partner? A doctor perhaps?”

His head snapped up instantly, his heart mildly racing in worry. Joel quickly shook his head, the world spinning some more.

“No, don’t,” he husked out, swallowing a raspy groan, his hands curling into fists.

“Okay, I won’t,” you brushed his knee with yours. “Get some sleep. I ain’t going anywhere.”

“You don’t need to stay—”

“I want to stay, Joel, and I will stay. You’d have to kick me out of your house, and I don’t think you’re in a position to do that right now,” you said with gentleness before palming your thighs and standing up. “If you need me, shout.”

Your mind was still racing from everything that had unfolded. When you ran towards Joel’s house an hour ago, despite the doom pooling in your belly, you definitely had not expected to find him on the verge of death.

Your hands were shaking from the adrenaline running wild through your system, trying to come to terms with what had happened, what had pushed Joel so far as to take his own life. Because there was no denying what you had seen—it hadn’t been an accident. Which then made you wonder about the other times you’d found him.

Had he tried to end his life when you saw lying on the floor through the window? At the time you just thought he had fallen, an unlucky misstep on a ladder while changing a lightbulb. But now… the pieces of the puzzle started fitting together. Same with the mishap with the infected—he’d definitely dropped the knife on purpose.

How long had this been going on? Had he sought help? Was his family aware? Tommy? Maria? His daughter? Had Joel become so good at hiding his own misery that no one had really noticed how the light in his eyes was dwindling?

How alone he must have felt after at least three attempts without no one spotting the signs.

At least you had. Late, almost too late, but you had. And while you knew he wasn’t appreciative of your intervention, you just couldn’t let it happen. Your first instinct had been to help—like you always did. That part of you had almost died in the first few years of the apocalypse, but as time went on and people’s humanity waned, you found yours. You had been the voice of reason in your group, the kind-hearted one that would welcome strangers in despite your friends’ reticence. You had a knack for telling who was a good person, and that sixth sense had never failed you.

And that was why you were sure about Joel. He was pretty rough around the edges, but his core was good. You just knew.

Your mind kept on drifting away, running through everything that had happened over and over again until you almost made yourself dizzy with worry. You were now in the kitchen, having finished cleaning up the mess on the floor so Joel wouldn’t have to deal with it tomorrow morning.

I’ll just go and check on him, make sure he’s still breathing and doing okay, you thought to yourself while washing your hands in the kitchen sink.

As you grabbed a kitchen towel to dry your skin, your eyes landed on two brown, folded letters near the sink. One was addressed to Tommy, the other one to an Ellie. Your heart began beating wildly in your chest.

They are goodbye letter, suicide letters to his loved ones.

“Who are you and where is Joel?” A snappy voice brought you back.

The interruption startled you, heart jolting against your ribs, as you turned around.

The teen you’d seen on Joel’s porch earlier was standing a few feet away from you, gun cocked and pointed at you. You raised your hands up in the air instinctually, still clutching at the kitchen towel, fearing the worst. Joel’s daughter clicked her tongue when you didn’t respond.

“Uh, hi. Ellie?” You ventured, remembering the name on the letter. A glint in her eyes confirmed you were right. “I’m your new neighbour. I came to Jackson around a month ago. Please don’t shoot me.”

Ellie’s head tilted to one side as she scanned you from head to toe. Her eyes momentarily sparkled with some recognition, and she sheathed her gun again.

“I’ve seen you before. You live across the street, right?”

You took in the biggest breath of your life and nodded, dropping your hands and twisting the towel.

“Yeah. Sorry. Your dad’s not feeling well. He’s gone to bed,” you excused Joel’s absence the best you could without giving away what had transcended tonight. You didn’t want his daughter to worry.

A sudden realisation dawned upon you—had you not intervened when you did, Ellie would have found Joel dead on the kitchen floor. Your eyes watered at the idea, but you blinked the tears away before they formed.

“Is he okay?” Ellie asked, an instant worry washing over her young face as she took a few steps towards you.

The letters, she can’t see them.

Thinking as fast as you could, you threw the kitchen towel on the counter, aim perfect, and it landed on top of the letters, covering them completely.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” you quickly put her at ease, walking towards her and patting her shoulder. “He must have eaten something that didn’t agree with him, that’s all.”

 “Shit,” Ellie muttered, sitting down on one of the stools by the island.

Then you remembered the heated argument you saw between them, and your heart silently cried for the young lady. Ellie must feel terrible now, her troubled expression darkening while she picked at her nails.

“Don’t worry. Joel’s okay now, Ellie. I promise,” the last word came out in a whisper. You didn’t want to lie to her but couldn’t tell her the crude truth either. If she was to find out, it couldn’t be through you. “Was there something you wanted?”

“I, uh… Just came to get an apple,” Ellie shrugged, reaching for the fruit bowl on the kitchen island.

You could tell that wasn’t the reason she was here. Perhaps she had come to apologise after the fight with her dad. If they two had something in common, was their reserve for apologies, that was for sure.

“Better get going,” Ellie muttered before biting into the apple and hopping back on the floor. “You staying?”

“Yeah. Just want to make sure he’s okay, then I’ll go back home.”

“Alright. Night.”

“Night, Ellie.”

Ellie lingered in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs for a second, probably considering going to check on Joel herself. But thought better of it, and a minute later she was gone.

You let go of a heavy sigh, eyes returning to the envelopes. Thank goodness she hasn’t seen them.

You couldn’t just let them lay there, so you grabbed them. Not that you were going to read them—it was a blatant invasion to anyone’s privacy—but you had to get them out of sight in case Ellie returned. So you folded them and slid them in the pocket of your cardigan.

You never went back home that night. After you went to check on Joel, who was squirming around in bed but otherwise asleep, you sat down on the armchair in the corner of his bedroom. You fought against your own fatigue as best you could but ended up slipping into a light sleep.

A few hours later, you woke up to the whisper of your name.

taglist: @wow-life-love4 @denisanoemi @wencontre @ccmoonshine @mystickittytaco @peelieblue @guelyury @marisemonteiroo @fangirlcentral1 @layaispunk @brittmb115 @mrsbilicablog @thedilfdiaries @eff4freddie @missadangel @moel-jiller @sunnytuliptime @queenofdisaster12 @lizzie-cakes @pedrofan @ladywraith @jessthebaker @readingiskeepingmegoing @aleariixx @anoverwhelmingdin @prose-before-hoes @joeldarling @suzysface @silksepia @mooniscrying @umadirectioner @dshc99 @harrysvirgogf @anitraivx

[adancingalien]

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Benjicot/Davos Blackwood x bracken!reader

summary: after learning of your impending betrothal to another, you and Benji make a plan to stop it

warning: smut 18+ no use of y/n this fic revolves around pregnancy and has some light breeding kinks towards the end. the reader in this is able to get pregnant and is described as a woman.

word count: 3.9k

note: its finally here! i've really enjoyed writing this fic, its been a while since written one and i've never written smut so if its not the best sorry lol. thank you for everyone's support! i hope you guys like it <3 next time I post it will be on this account @dancingaliensfics so if you like this follow that account. also a couple people asked me to tag them so here you go x @alifeinspiredd @gotranting

It's Early in the morning when your father gives you the news. The sun had risen only an hour prior, the days growing short as winter approached, and your mother sat across from you. 

Marriage.

You spend some time considering the thought whilst eating your porridge. In any other case, it would have been good news. The list your father had created so far was filled with well-suited men. You recognised some, two Bracken cousins you knew well, a Mallister boy you’d met at a tourney. They were all reasonable ages, only one was older than thirty and he seemed to be an afterthought. Your father assured you that he'd consider your opinion in his choice. 

Truthly you were lucky, if it was a year earlier you'd be excited. But the one name you wanted, the only man you would ever consider marrying, wasn't on the list and never would be.

Benjicot Blackwood.

Heir to Raventree Hall, the seat of your enemy house, the man who'd captured your heart 10 moons ago.

And so you sit in silence, eyes distant, as your father speaks to you of balls and meetings and gifts. Your mother watches you quietly, although what goes through her mind you cannot say. Eventually, the conversation fades to noise as you watch the last streaks of pink fade from the sky. 

You meet with Benjicot in the same spot you always do. A field of clover and wildflowers, sheltered from the gaze of Stone Hedge by a small patch of woodland. He brings you a bouquet of dandelions, dittander and hedge bindweed he picked himself along the path. Every time you meet he brings you one and each time he hands it to you with that grin before hiding his face in your neck. You love it, and after all this time you still feel your heart flutter at the sight, no matter how torn and pathetic the blooms themselves usually are. 

Gods, you love him. And you're certain you'll never love anyone else the same. Still, you hope he hasn't found the bindweed from near your gardens, it's beautiful but so quickly consumes all other plants.

He flops onto the grass and then beckons for you to do the same. Benji wraps his arms around your side and you lean your head on his chest as he begins to tell you about some skirmish at the hedge stones.

“Those Brackens think they can do whatever they please whenever they choose. You’d think they'd have learnt their lesson after the beating we gave them last time.”

As he speaks you pluck at blades of grass beside you, tearing the seeds from the stem. He often forgets your heritage, as you do his, and the reminder makes you anxious.

“Still,” you mutter, “I wish you wouldn't rush so quickly into battle.”

Benji turns his head to look down at you and you feel his breath on your face. He pauses for a few moments, watching you closely before responding.

“You needn't worry, dove, I can hold my own, especially against some Bracken bastards.” His words are harsh and said with a grin but you can feel the sentiment behind them. Still, his answer doesn't satisfy you.

“You're not the only person I stand to lose in a battle.”

The two of you tend to speak little of the different sides you sit on, choosing instead to focus on your shared qualities. But since your father's announcement that morning, you find your heritage is all you can think of.

His hands tighten on your side and he begins to shift in the way he often does when unsettled. “Tell your bracken brethren to stay on their side of the lines then.”

“Yes because it is such a simple thing, to announce our ties to my whole family!” You turn from him with a huff pulling hard on the piece of grass in your grasp. You regret your words immediately but find yourself unwilling to apologise.

Benji pulls his brows tight, running his fingers over the hem of your skirt. He looks like a scolded dog, his face sullen and eyes moving quickly.

“I’m sorry.” He looks at you softly for a moment. “Will you tell me what's bothering you love? You've been down all day.”

You pause for a while, having pulled away all the grass in your little patch, leaving your fingernails stained green.

“My father gave me news.” You lift your head to look at Benji, his eyes watching you closely. “He's finding me a husband.”

“No.” The response comes quickly and with strong conviction.

Baffled by his response, your brows furrow. “What do you mean no?”

“I simply won't let it happen. You're mine and I'm yours and we were destined to be together, I know it. You will not be with anyone else.”

You pull a pained face, turning away from him. How can he say that with such certainty? That he simply won't let your father marry you off as though it's such a simple thing. It's both endearing and irritating.

“It's not so simple you know.” You look out at the setting sun as you speak, “I've been trying to think of ways to avoid it but truthfully, I have nothing to complain about. What can I say to stop it? I've spent so long thinking of options but nothing seems right.”

Benji takes hold of your hands, gazing at you with such intensity it catches you off guard.

“We'll run away together, you and me, right now.”

Your eyes widen and you stumble on your thoughts. What an idea. It's a pleasant thought really and part of you is compelled to accept, to leap up and run away with Benji in that moment. But it is not this part of you that speaks.

“What- Benji- I cannot, we cannot! Where would we even go.”

“Essos, the free cities, the North, gods I'd go to the Iron Islands if it meant I could marry you. Anywhere in the world where the names bracken and blackwood mean nothing.” your heart skips at the thought, that Benjicot Blackwood would abandon his title and land and family to be with you. Travel to an unknown land and begin again. It's a feeling that quickly spreads through your body leaving you warm and filled with a joy so strong it again compels you to accept and leave in that moment.

You run your fingers over his knuckles, feeling the healed cuts and scrapes that cover them. You consider your own family, of your mother, sat at her window, waiting for you to return home. Your father, sending out his men to fruitlessly search across all of Westeros for his beloved daughter. 

“I can't Benji.”

“Then we'll go in a few days instead, you can pack your things, and I'll think of a plan of where to go-”

“No Benji.” you look into his eyes. You see in them a future and a path you cannot take at this moment. “I couldn't do that to my family, couldn't leave them forever and you couldn't either. It would break your mother's heart.”

Your words sour his mood and he visibly shrinks. You take his hands fully in your own and reach over to kiss him softly on the cheek. You can feel slight stubble and realise he must have rushed out after receiving your letter. How you love this man. 

It isn’t long before you see a new thought arrive in his mind and it's clear he does no further thinking before sharing it.

“I'll just take you then!”

Truthly, your expectations were not high but you still find yourself floored by the stupidity of his ‘plan’.

“What.” You can simply find no other words.

Benji turns to face you fully, squeezing your hands tightly. He has a crazed look on his face and you wonder if this is what your Bracken brethren see on the battlefield. 

“Listen, I’ll simply take you with me to Raventree Hall and we will wed there.” He must notice your unimpressed look as he quickly continues. “That way you don't have to go too far and your family will know you're safe. Sure it'll take some time for those Bracken curs to accept it but eventually they'll have to and then you can see them when you please.”

“Safe? Benji, you've come up with some terrible ideas but this is a new level. It would be war! You really believe that my father, that any bracken would simply accept a blackwood taking their daughter in the night?”

“Then war it would be. I'd kill a thousand men to keep you.”

“A thousand of my men, my blood! Yes, what a beautiful honeymoon it would be, setting the funeral piers of my family.”

He falls silent at this and looks down at his hands. You can see him thinking but he has the sense to keep his thoughts to himself. After a few minutes, you sigh and take his hands back in yours, having dropped them at some point during your rant. Leaning over, you capture his lips in your own for just a moment and when you pull away he follows after you.

“Just… leave it to me. I shall think of a plan for us. We can keep yours as a last resort, yes?”

He brightens at this, happy to trust in your judgement. He agrees quickly before closing the small space between you.

It's a week later when you send a raven summoning Benji. As a child, you had discovered passages within Stone Hedge which had long been forgotten and often used them to pass in and out of the castle. Now you and Benji used them to visit each other in secret. It's a few days before he is able to make his way to Stone Hedge, having been corralled by his father into some dull political nonsense you couldn't care less about. By the time he makes it to you, slipping into your chambers using the passage hidden behind large tapestries, you feel truly desperate for him.

It's overwhelming really, how much you love him. Your entire body aches for him, your mind thinks of him at all times. The thought of marrying another leaves you ill and to imagine laying with a man that isn't Benji is truly mad. He knows you in ways no other has, and, if you get your way, never will. So really it's not a surprise that upon seeing you waste no time in pressing yourself to him. As your lips meet you can feel all the stress of the past days leave your mind and you quickly forget what it was you summoned him for. It seems Benji has found himself in a similar position to you as his hands begin to explore your body through your evening gown. His soft touch turns rough as you run your fingers through the coarse strands of his hair. 

You pull away, moving toward to settee. He trails after, lounging next to you with his around your shoulders, fingers toying with your hair.

“I’ve had much time to think,” you say hands resting on your lap. “And I believe I've thought of a solution. It’s mad truly, but it is the best chance we have. I am certain I want it but if you do not you must say and that will be final. It is not a decision to take lightly.”

At your serious tone, Benji straightens and looks at you fully. You are nervous, such a proposal is hardly made easily and yet you feel certain in your bones that he will accept. You know he loves you, there is no doubt about it. You only wonder if he is truly ready for a life together.

“I would do anything to be with you, dove. Tell me and it'll be done.”

You sigh at his words, both from frustration and adoration. 

“Do not say such things before you hear the proposal.”

“Then tell me it so that I may say them with informed certainty.”

You look him in the eyes then, struggling to find a way to say what you mean.

“I would have your child.”

Benji pauses at this, and you can see confusion in his eyes before he speaks.

“Yes. when we wed we shall have many children, as many as you wish.”

“No Benji,” you squeeze his hands tightly and push yourself to speak. “My father will never choose you as my husband so we must give him no choice. If I was with child, with your child, he would have to accept a marriage or risk shame upon myself and our house. I know my father well and I am sure he would choose my happiness over tradition.”

At this, Benjicot stops and his face falls blank. It's as if his mind is —- and you wait patiently for his response.

“It is…” he stops and then restarts “I would love nothing more than to have a child with you. It is something I have dreamt of and I truly believe myself ready for such responsibility. I do not doubt the longevity of my love for you. So please do not think it is commitment with gives me pause. It is just…” he begins to play with your fingers, nervous energy flowing through him. He stands quickly, releasing your hands though you are used to his restlessness and simply wait for him to return. He paces in a small circle, running his hand through his hair and then returns to his seat. 

“I would not do that to you,” he says finally. You look at him in surprise, his answer seeming nonsensical to you.

“You have done it to me many times.”

“No not that,” he says quickly, covering his face in his hands as he thinks again how to phrase what he means.

“I wouldn't put you through such treatment! As an unwed woman to father a child by you. No, I couldn't dishonour you like that.”

“Dishonour me? Benji, you have dishonoured me more times than I could count. By simply being here in this room you dishonour me. We have laid together, many times. If this was a concern of yours, you should have voiced it long ago.” your words are tinged with amusement.

Benjicot stands again, moving his arms wildly. 

“And what of how you would be treated? Not just by your parents but every member of the court, the servants, anyone who knew of it. You would be shamed and shunned by others.”

“You think I care what others say of me?”

“I think you will care when it happens.”

“Do not make assumptions on my behalf. I am my own woman, I can make my own choices. And I do not need you, Benjicot Blackwood, to decide such things for me.” 

You pause, breathing deeply in an attempt to remove the heat from your voice. It isn’t your intention to force Benji to do this with you and you fear if you continue to argue your meaning will be lost.

“If your reasons to not go forth are your own, because you do not feel ready or because you do not want to, then that is fine and I will accept it.”

Your attempt to calm the situation backfires miserably and your words light a fire inside of Benji.

“Of course not, didn’t say I would marry you in that field? That I would give up everything to be with you. Do not doubt my love.”

“I do not doubt it, Benji. But if you are willing to give up your titles and home, go through battle and fight hundreds to have me, why can't you trust that I would endure the shame of a pregnancy outside of wedlock for you?”

At last, Benji returns to his spot next to you. He looks into the fire but his gaze is distant.

“I can protect you from danger, from enemies. I can kill any man that threatens you. I can stand with you in fire and pain. But I can’t save you from cruel words and shame. This is… it's something you’ll have to bear alone. And I hate the thought of it.”

At last, you understand his meaning. Benjicot Blackwood is not a man who often loses control. He is fierce and strong and can slay any man who comes in his path. 

“I am strong. And I can protect myself, just this once. And you will be stood with, at my side, to give me strength when I fail.”

“I know, I just fear you aren’t ready.”

“I am ready.”

A coy smile spreads across your face.

“Let me convince you.” 

At that you kiss him, one hand placed on his cheek and the other on his chest. He quickly reciprocates and you move closer until you can throw one leg over his lap. His hands find your hair, attempting to undo your intricate braids before pulling away in frustration and glaring at the strands. You laugh lightly, moving to remove your pins as he reaches for your neck, leaving a firm bite before his tongue lathes over the area. His ministrations pull a soft moan from your mouth and as he lifts your skirts to run his hand up the soft skin of your thigh, your hair is released.

His other hand quickly finds its way into your hair, fingers weaving into the strands before your head is pulled back allowing better access to your neck. As Benji continues trailing kisses across your neck and chest, you begin to move yourself on his lap, grinding against him as you feel his cock harden beneath his breeches. How you long to feel him inside you, and the thought of him staying even as he reached his peak, seed spilling inside you, has you moving with increased vigour. Benji begins to let out his quiet groans and pants to match your soft moaning and it's not long before he has your behind held firmly in his grip. 

His mouth reaches the neckline of your dresses and begins to suck marks onto your skin while you fumble with the fastening of your gown. Once the bodice is undone and the stays are loosened, he pulls them down, taking your breasts into his hands. His mouth quickly latches onto one of your peaks and his tongue swirls around them. He shows you no mercy in his actions, hands pressing so tight they are sure to leave bruises. Benji moves his hand to your core, fingers covering themselves in your wetness before pressing against your clit. They move quickly, circling your bud for some time before travelling towards your hole. His thumb moves to take its place, pressing firmly against you as it rubs. His fingers prod gently at your hole, before one slips inside. He stays like this, easing his finger inside of you until you're ready to take another. His fingers move inside of you for a few minutes, your walls clenching around them as they stroke, before they increase in speed, beginning to curl deep inside of you. Benji continues to assault your chest, relishing in the moans and whines he pulls from your lips. 

It isn't long, however, before he pulls away from your chest to speak.

“I need you, my love.” he lifts your chin so that your eyes meet. You lean forward and kiss him, giving your answer through your actions. He removes his fingers from you, wiping them on your dress much to your disgust before standing, holding you with his hands beneath your ass and your legs around his waist.

 He moves quickly towards the bed and, though he's strong, you can see him focusing on not dropping you. You take the chance to join your lips to his neck, leaving your marks there. Although you know him to be faithful to you, you can’t stand the thought of any Blackwood whore making a pass at him and the hickeys serve to claim him as yours. Gods, you think, you must stop thinking in such ways, you’ll be a Blackwood yourself soon. The thought leaves you giddy and you grin at his neck. Benji drops you rather unceremoniously onto the bed before staring at you with a bemused look on his face.

“What you grinning about him?”

“Just the thought that I will soon be your wife.”

His grin widens at that and he leans down to capture your lips once again. 

“Yes, my wife and I'll be your husband.”

You kiss him again, biting his lip and tugging on it slightly.

“All mine.” your words pull a deep moan from him.

It isn’t long before both of you have stripped completely and you find yourself lying back on the sheets, Benji between your legs. He moves quickly above you, rubbing his cock against your folds, the head catching perfectly on your clit with every stroke. You moan wantonly, fingers reaching up to pull Benji towards your lips by the hair. Your firm grip causes him to groan deeply into your mouth and his movements increase in speed. It isn't long though before you pull away.

“Benji, darling, I need you inside of me please.”

You're expecting him to tease you, and make a joke about your begging and neediness but instead, he lets out a long breath, before reaching down and taking himself in hand. He runs the tip of his cock along your wetness once more before pressing inside of you. Your body accepts him eagerly and it isn't long before he fills you. How could you ever marry another when even your body is moulded perfectly to him? The sounds of your pleasure harmonise as Benji begins to move inside of you. His thrusts are fast and deep as always, his hips snapping against yours with every thrust. You feel your mind slipping as your sounds increase in volume. Your hands roam his whole body. Filthy words spill from your lips.

“Benji please my love- ah- I must have you. Please”

“You have me sweet one, you have me.”

You pull roughly on his hair at his words.

“No I must have all of you, please I need your seed. I want you to cum inside me.”

His hips stutter before his thrusts continue with increased fervour.

“Fill me please Benji, it will feel so good.”

Benji lays his head in the crook of your neck moaning without restraint. You feel yourself reaching your peak quickly and want him to cum with you. You lift your legs and wrap them tightly around his waist, moaning, turning to shrieks.

“I love you so much Benji,” you cry out, fingernails leaving scratches down his back. “I love you and I want your baby, please cum inside me.”

At your words, Benji lets out a choked sound, hips pressing firm against you, and feels the warmth of his release spill inside of you, pulling you to your peak alongside him. Your eyes squeeze shut, but if they hadn’t you would have seen the most delightful look on Benji’s face and he finished inside of you. It takes some time for his cock to stop twitching and even longer for the both of you to come back to the world of the living. Benji begins to lift himself off of you, but you tighten your legs.

“Stay.”

A simple command that he follows without question.

[love-belle]

i love u forever !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she's a baker and he's in love — even with a few incidents involved.

or

for when you want to spend the rest of your life laughing with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hiiiii :) back in my active era mid term is OVERRRRR !!!!! will be posting max's version for how u get the girl soon <3 i love u sm thank you so much for reading :)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, lilymhe and 785,527 others

yourusername not pictured - carlos almost dropping the cake with LIT candles on my lap

tagged carlossainz55

7,628 comments

username OH MY GOD

username why are u so pretty

username CARLOS PLEASE WHAT

username he should come with a hazard warning

*liked by yourusername*

username SHE'S SO ADORABLE WHATTFFUCJ

username i wanna keep u in my pocket and feed u berries

-> yourusername omg

charles_leclerc i thought you learnt your lesson after the oven incident

-> yourusername it was a moment of weakness, i have definitely learnt my lesson now

-> username the oven incident????

-> username don't be shy drop the details 😁

username that is so carlos of carlos

username NAHH THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

-> username FRRRR like i thought that spatula incident on her ig live would be enough to convince her

landonorris knowing carlos, i'm surprised he didn't actually drop the cake

-> yourusername he got so damn close to it

username she's so cute i wanna bite her

-> yourusername please don't

-> lilymhe yeah only i can do that

-> carlossainz55 say what now

-> yourusername my love LOOK AWAY

username lily and y/n never beating the gfs allegations

username SHE'S SOOOOO PRETTY LIKE

username omw to wife her up ☺️

carlossainz55 keyword ALMOST

-> yourusername there shouldn't be an almost at all

carlossainz55 so pretty

-> yourusername all you

carlossainz55 mi amor ( my love )

-> yourusername ❤️❤️❤️

carlossainz55 i love you but please stop making me your assistant in baking

-> yourusername i will stop at MUFFIN

-> landonorris i giggled

-> carlossainz55 no that was bad

-> yourusername LMFAOAOA SORRY

username hahahahah!!! hellO there

username died gone deceased six feet under decomposing rotting

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 879,625 others

carlossainz55 of course she had to stop and take pictures

tagged yourusername

7,829 comments

username AHHHHH SO CUTE

username actual parents

username OAKSJSJSHDJSISKSKDKS

username and i cried

username ME WHEN.

carmenmmundt love 💒💓

*liked by carlossainz55*

username SHE'S ADORABLE

username no bc my life's purpose is to go to her bakery like i HAVE to

username no bc they're THE f1 couple and i love them so ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and she's soooo sweet like hello

-> username NAH BC I MET HER IN LONDON AND SHE'S SOOOO SWEET LIKE AN IRL ANGEL

-> yourusername OMGGG UR THE GIRL WITH THE BLUE TOTE I LOVE U

-> username SHUT UP U REMEMBER ME

-> yourusername I STILL HAVE UR NECKLACE I WEAR IT EVERYDAY

-> username OMGJAJSJSKSKS IM GONNA CRY ILYSMSMSMSMSMS

charles_leclerc tell her i miss her and that she needs to bake those macaroons again

-> carlossainz55 she says no

-> charles_leclerc see i KNOW she would never say that

-> yourusername charles!!!!! come over tomorrow!!!!!! i'll bake whatever u want and bring alex 🤍

-> alexandrasaintmleux i love you 🤍

username i NEED to know if carlos is still her taste tester bc i know my man was suffering when she was still a beginner

-> username fr like he was out here fighting for his life everyday

username time to hug a tree at 283 mph

username seriously i deserve someone like this wtfff

username carlos ur catching these hands idgaf

landonorris please bring her apple pie

-> carlossainz55 no

-> yourusername yes******* i'll send some with carlos 🫶🏼

-> lilymhe you're not coming to the next race 💔💔💔

-> yourusername no im sorry my love💔💔💔💔

-> carlossainz55 no don't call her my love

-> lilymhe okayyyy stay salty

username listen im soooo happy for y'all but i DON'T need to be reminded that im painfully single every time i open this app

yourusername ofc i had to

-> carlossainz55 of course you did

yourusername why the last photo.

-> carlossainz55 my favourite ❤️

-> yourusername bye

yourusername i loveeeee you

-> carlossainz55 same

-> yourusername 🤺 say 🤺 it 🤺 back 🤺

-> carlossainz55 i loveeeeeeeeeeee you

username sigh.

username alr me when 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

*yourusername added to their instagram stories*

[lenaswritingandstuff]

Your Teddy ~ Theodore Nott x f!reader (PART 3 & END)

Requested: No

Pairing: Theodore Nott x f!reader (+ SPOILER x f!reader - secret and non-reciprocal.)

Summary: y/n gets adjusted at her new life with Theo's help.

Word count: 6.2K

Warnings: swearing, English is not my first language

A/N: Thank God one of my classes on Wednesday was online and the other was cancelled otherwise I don't know when I could have written it lmaooo. ANYWAY. Thank you guys so much for +270 followers, love y'all!! Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Sorry for the typos. Hope you enjoy it! xx

Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus @wolfyychan @blocked-zombieartist

Tag list for this story: @veryberryjelly @revesephemeres @mgchaser @nojamsonmytoast @cometmultiverse

PART TWO

“Darling?” your mother calls from downstairs. “Dinner is ready!”

Putting your book away, you rose from your bed and let out a silent sigh. The day after your conversation with Theo, your parents insisted you get home to rest, and, while you didn’t want to leave Hogwarts, they seemed to want you with them so bad that you had reluctantly accepted. You had now been home for over two weeks, two weeks spent reading books to learn some things and reading letters from Pansy and Theo. While Pansy’s letters were enjoyable and kept you updated on classes and the current gossip at school, you had to admit you awaited for Theo’s letters the most. He wrote to you about his daily life, sometimes making you laugh with a joke or when he told you about what funny thing one of his friends had done or said, and always ended the letter with the same sentence: I miss you. Those words shouldn’t make you feel the way they did, but they did; and you shouldn’t be missing Theo that much, but you were. 

From the moment you saw him, Theo had captivated your mind. You didn’t know if it was the way he had hugged you when he stormed in the hospital wing, the way he looked at you with those blue eyes of his, or just him, but ever since you had seen him in the hospital wing, you had a hard time not thinking about him. When you had realised what having lost all your memory meant, you were scared some people would lie to you or pretend to be someone they weren’t, but for some reason you knew Theo hadn’t lied. You had felt incredibly guilty when you saw how hurt he was when he learnt you didn’t know who he was - and still felt that way. But now, you also wanted to get to know him, and to spend time with him. There was something about him that just drew you towards him. It was partly physical, because, well, he was gorgeous, but also in his personality, how soft his voice was when he was talking to you, how patient and understanding he was, and how he made you feel safe without even trying. And now, after three weeks of only writing to each other, you couldn’t wait to see him again - but never dared to say it. I’ll try to tell him I miss him in my next letter.  

Leaving your room, you went downstairs to find your parents around the table, your mother bringing dinner to the table and your father finishing to set the table. They immediately smiled at you, and you smiled back. Your parents had been nothing but kind and understanding during your stay, but they constantly tried to make you remember things, so much so that you started to feel a bit overwhelmed after a while - which was another reason you couldn’t wait to go back to Hogwarts. 

“Got some rest, darling?” your father asked, sitting on the other side of the table.

“I hope you don’t overwork yourself, sweetie,” your mother continued. “You’re here to get rest and recover.” 

“I’m fine,” you assured them with a smile, sitting down.

“Are you sure, darling? I have to say, you look a bit tired.”

Your mother was right, and there was a reason for that fatigue. Each night, you had terrible dreams about your abduction - dreams or memories, who knew? - and you were now almost afraid to sleep. Like you had told Theo, you were thankful you didn’t remember anything about your kidnapping, but having those dreams brought you a bit of anxiety. You hadn’t told anyone, because you were scared that your parents would freak out, and didn’t tell Theo in order not to bother him. You ate your plate, not saying a word as your parents talked about everything and anything. Once you were done, there was a moment of comfortable silence, and you cleared your throat. 

“I have something to ask you guys,” you said. 

“What is it, dear?” 

“I’d like to go back to Hogwarts,” you answered, not beating around the bush. “I think I’m fully recovered now. It was nice being here, and I appreciate everything you did for me, but I think it would be good for me to go back to school.” 

Your parents shared a look, and for a second you thought they were gonna insist you stayed here.

“If that’s what you want, y/n,” your mother said, “then we support you.”

“We’ll write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow,” your father nodded. “It will be good for you to be with your friends again.” 

“And Theodore,” your mother added with a wink. 

You felt your cheeks becoming pink and looked at your plate.

“He’s a good lad,” your father smiled.

“I hope you guys will…find a way to get back to the relationship you had,” your mother said gently. “You loved him a lot.” 

You nodded, and after a long moment of your parents telling you stories about your childhood, you decided to bid your parents goodnight - which always included a hug - and went back upstairs to your room. You lit a candle, as it was dark outside, and sat down at your desk before grabbing a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink. 

Dear Teddy, 

I was supposed to stay a little longer with my parents, but I really want to go back to Hogwarts now. My parents will write to Professor Dumbledore tomorrow, and I hope to be at school in the next few days. 

I miss you.

y/n

You then turned to your owl, who apparently had the habit of going to sleep at the same time as you, who made a small noise as if to greet you as you opened its cage. 

“Can you take it to Theo?” you asked your pet. 

You gently stroked its feathers, and then your owl took the letter and flew across the opened window. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

You stepped out of the chimney, and, as expected, found yourself in Professor Snape’s office. He was sitting on his desk, apparently grading students’ work, and barely raised his eyes to look at you.

“Good evening, Professor.”

“Miss y/l/n. I hope you’re fully recovered.”

His last words surprised you, as you had found him cold and severe during the few minutes you saw him in the hospital wing. 

“Yes, thank you, sir.”

“Then I shall see you in class.”

“Yes, sir.”

Carrying your luggage, you left his office, and, as you expected, you found Pansy waiting for you in the corridor. She immediately opened her arms and almost ran to give you a hug, which you gladly accepted.

“Aw, darling, I’m so happy you’re back! How do you feel?”

“I’m good.”

But your attention was on the person behind her. Theo was leant against the wall, his hands in his pockets. You detached yourself from Pansy, and Theo and you started to walk towards each other. You felt your heart beat faster, and it even beat faster when Theo gave you a small, shy, smile. Did I feel that way before?

“Hey.”

“Hey. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too.”

It was a bit awkward, as neither of you knew what to do - a hug? A kiss? - but Theo stared at you for a second before stepping closer, gently cupping your face in his hands and kissing your forehead. You closed your eyes, enjoying his touch and his lips on your skin much more than you thought. After the kiss, his hands remained on both sides of his face before he took them away, and you felt disappointed and sad.

“Thank you for your letters,” you said. “I really enjoyed receiving them.” 

“I liked your answers, too,” he said. 

You smiled at him, and suddenly Pansy chuckled.

“Come on, you bloody lovebirds, let’s go.”

You and Theo shared an amused look before you all went to the Slytherin common room, which was near. 

“We should go get dinner,” Pansy said. “y/n, dear, how about you put that luggage in your bag and you’ll unpack after dinner?”

“Alright,” you nodded.

After all, you were hungry too. Pansy led to your dorm, as you honestly didn’t remember where it was, and you put your luggage inside before going to the Great Hall alongside Pansy and Theo. On the way, Pansy kept talking about all that happened while you were gone, but only heard half of it as your hand kept touching Theo’s, which made you somehow want to hold it - or at least to have some physical contact with him. I’m going crazy, you thought. Why do I want to touch someone who’s still a stranger? 

Once in the Great Hall, you sat between Pansy and Theo, who introduced you to his friends, who all greeted you warmly. You looked around, trying to familiarise yourself with the large, beautiful crowded room. As you had lived in a quiet house for weeks, all the noise around made you feel uneasy and comfortable. Only Theo seemed to notice, as he grabbed your hand under the table. You turned to him, and found him giving you a reassuring, warm look. You squeezed his hand, both to show thankfulness and affection, and he gently stroked the top of your hand. You started to feel better, and focused on the conversations the boys were having. You didn’t participate in it, as you had ho idea what they were talking about half the time, but you laughed at their jokes - and, with each laugh, Theo and you shared a look. Once you were done eating, Pansy and you decided to go back to the common room - as it was still too early to go to bed -, and the boys followed. After sitting on one of the green couches, again next to Theo, for two hours spent listening to the boys, sometimes talking to Pansy and again feeling the push to touch Theo’s hand. As it was now getting late, the boys started to go to bed, as they started classes early tomorrow, but unlike earlier, Theo didn’t hesitate to once again cup your face in his warm hands and kiss your forehead, but this time, you got on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Good night, Teddy.”

“Good night, cara mia.”

You blushed at the nickname, before following Pansy - whose dorm was not far away from yours. 

“I promised to spend the night with Daphne,” Pansy said, apparently feeling guilty. “Her dorm is the one next to yours, so I won’t be very far if you need me, okay? You got along very well with Daphne before your…um, departure. She won’t mind at all.”

“Don’t worry about me,” you said. “I’m actually tired, so I don’t think I’ll have a hard time falling asleep.” 

“Alright.” Pansy hugged you, “Sleep well, dear.”

She gave you one last hug before entering Daphne’s dorm, leaving you alone in the silent corridor. You went into your dorm, closing the door behind you. You looked at the unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar objects. It felt as if it all belonged to someone else. Trying to ignore the feeling, you unpacked your bag, went to take a shower and then went to bed. Tomorrow, Pansy would give you a list of all the things they saw in class while you were gone and it was going to take you a while to catch up on everything - and if you didn’t manage to, it was going to be even harder to pass your exams at the end of the year. 

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“y/n, wake up! Come on, wake up!”

You jolted awake, trying to catch your breath. The dark, cold room and the unfamiliar voices that had been plaguing your sleep were still fresh in your mind, and your first reflex when you felt two hands on your shoulders was to try to pull away.

“Amore, it’s me!” 

It took you half a second to realise you were in your dorm, safe, and that it was Theo in front of you. 

“Teddy?” 

He nodded, and sat on the bed. “I had the feeling I needed to check up on you, and when I came you were having a nightmare.” 

He started stroking your shoulders with all the tenderness in the world, and, almost without realising it, you put your head in his chest, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you as close as he could, and put his chin on the top of your head.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here.” 

He pressed a light yet tender kiss on your temple and your heart, which had been beating very fast from waking up so abruptly, starting beating normally. After a while, you felt better, and not once did Theo move. 

“Thank you, Teddy,” you whispered.

“Of course, tesoro.”

Despite wanting to stay in the comfort of his arms, you detached yourself from him, but he kept one of his arms around you. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his thumb stroking your skin.

You shook your head, and he gave you a nod. 

“I don’t remember much,” you said. “But… Teddy?”

“Hum?”

“Would you…Would you mind staying here with me?” you asked more shyly than you thought.

Theo looked at you and had a soft half smile. 

“I’d like nothing more, love.” 

He bent to press a kiss on your temple and you moved to the side of the bed to give him as much space as you could. Once he was ready, he gently brought your head to his chest before putting one arm around your waist and the other in your hair. Instinctively, you put one hand on the side of his neck, and after a short moment, you felt your whole body relax. You closed your eyes, and suddenly realised Theo smelt amazing.

“You smell good,” you whispered without thinking.

He had a chuckle, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You used to tell me that often,” he said. “But thank you, cara mia, you smell good too.”

He started playing with your hair, and you fell asleep to the beating of his heart and his warmth.

When you woke up the next morning, your head was in the crook of Theo’s neck, and one of your legs was over one of his. His arms were still tightly wrapped around you, and, looking at him, you couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he looked when he was sleeping. You put your head back, wanting to enjoy the comfort of his warm embrace for a moment, but you realised it was time to wake up. You pressed some kisses on his cheek, and after a while he started slowly moving. 

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

He groaned before he finally opened his eyes, and his lips immediately turned into a smile. He looked at you for a moment, and brought his hand to your cheek.

“I almost forgot how good it felt,” he said almost to himself.

“What?” you frowned. 

“To wake up with you in my arms.” 

“It feels good too,” you whispered, caressing his hair. “And I know it felt good before my abduction.” 

There was no way it didn’t feel like that before. If only I could remember…

“We should get up,” you said.

He nodded and had a small sigh, “Yeah, we should.” But then he smiled, “But five more minutes, please?” 

You laughed and nodded.

“Alright, five more minutes.” 

But, as you should have expected, five minutes into ten, then twenty, and finally thirty before you managed to have him let you get out of bed. You rose from the bed, which made him groan in annoyance, and as you went to the bathroom to get your school uniform, you turned to the bed, where Teddy hadn’t moved.  

“Teddy, come on!” you laughed.

“You know, cara mia, no one would mind if you only started class tomorrow.”

You know he was likely to be right, but you shook your head.

“Maybe, but I have enough to catch on already. I can’t afford to be even further behind.”

“I’ll help you,” he said, sitting. “You were always a very good student, why shouldn’t you be now?”

“Maybe I was, but now it’s different.” 

Teddy stared at you, and you immediately knew what he thought. Yes, it is different now.

“I can still help you,” he said.

You nodded, “I’d love that, Teddy.” 

He finally got up, and agreed to go dress up in his dorm when you asked him.

“We’ll meet in the common room in five minutes,” you assured him. 

And as promised, you met there five minutes later, both all ready for the day. It felt a bit weird to be in a uniform, but you did your best to ignore it. After all, everyone was wearing it. Theo and you sat again with his friends and Pansy, who immediately asked you how was your night.

“Oh, really good.”

You and Theo shared a look and you felt yourself blush. 

After breakfast, you walked with Theo to class, with him sometimes giving you information about the castle, or something you saw. On the way, some students came to you to tell you they were happy to see you again, and each time, you felt thankful but awkward. But thankfully, Theo didn’t leave your side once, and always let you know who the person was - friends for the most part. They were Slytherins for most, but as you came closer to class, it was a Gryffindor boy, with dark hair, green eyes and glasses, who approached you.

“y/n? Hi, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you.” 

You noticed the strange scar he had on his forehead, but it felt impolite to ask him about it. 

“Back off, Potter,” Theo said coldly. “We don’t have time for you.”

“Teddy, don’t be rude,” you frowned.

“I was just asking how she was,” the Gryffindor boy said calmly. “I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to you with a kind look, “I’m glad to see that you’re alright. But…You really don’t remember anything?”

Theo opened his mouth to answer but you were faster.

“No, unfortunately. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?” 

“Harry,” he simply answered. “I’m Harry. We…” 

This time, Theo sighed.

“It is really kind of you to ask how my girl was, Potter, but if the Chosen One will excuse us, we’re gonna be late for Potions.”

He put an arm around your waist, and before you could say anything, led you to the end of the corridor. You gave Harry a look of excuse, but he only stared at you.

“Teddy, that was rude,” you said as you entered the Potions room. “He was nice.”

“Not all people are as nice as they look, love,” he simply said and you rolled your eyes. 

“But, if he asked me how I was, he must have been a friend, no?”

Theo had a small, annoyed sigh. “That’s a big word. But your closest friend is Pansy. And also Daphne, I guess. If you need more friends, ask Pansy to introduce you to girls from our house. Or at least, who aren’t in Gryffindor.” 

Theo indicated you a seat in the middle of the class, and sat next to you.

“By the way,” you asked, “what is that strange scar he has?”

Theo sneered, “Long story.”

You were about to ask him when Professor Snape came in, and all conversations faded at once. He gave instructions for the rest of the lesson, and you and Theo worked on the potion. You laughed a few times because Theo couldn’t stop making jokes. Snape eventually noticed and came over.

“Mr Nott, do focus on the potion. Miss y/l/n needs to concentrate if she wishes to get back to the same level as the rest of the class, and I think your immature foolishness will make it harder.”

“We’re sorry, professor,” you apologised. “I was a bit nervous, as it is my first class since I got back, and Teddy was only trying to help…in his own way.”

Snape stared at you both and left without a word. Theo and you looked at each other and had a hard time not laughing.

“Dumbledore must have asked him to be nicer to you,” he whispered as he stirred the potion. “Usually, we would have got detention. Or at least a threat of it.” 

The rest of the class went smoothly, and so did the rest of the day, with all the teachers telling you they were there if you needed anything, and helping you if needed. As the last class of the day ended,  you put your book in your bag and rose from your seat. Theo did the same, and you started walking to the door, but Theo didn’t move. 

“Pansy and I need to talk to Professor McGonnagall,” he said. “It’s gonna take a while,” he sighed. “Hey, how about you go to my dorm - it’s the first one after the serpent symbol - and eat the snacks I left there? You used to like them.”

You were a bit surprised, but nodded. You left the class, and walked down the corridor when you heard a voice from your left side.

“y/n!”

You turned your head and saw Harry in a smaller, darker corridor. 

“Harry?”

“Can we talk?” 

Your eyes went to the door of the class, where Theo still was.

“Sure.”

You walked to place yourself in front of Harry, and you noticed he looked at you strangely. 

“I’m sure you’ve been asked this several times, but you don’t really remember anything about your abduction?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Nothing.”

You could have talked to him about the nightmares, but if you didn’t tell Theo, the person you were the closest to at the moment, why would you talk to a stranger about it?

“And,” Harry continued, “what did they tell you about it?”

You frowned, trying to remember the first conversation you had with Professor Dumbledore. “Well, they said I went to, um, Hogsmeade, I think, alone, and that’s where I was last seen. Apparently I was kidnapped because my parents work at the Ministry. They also don’t know where I was being held or how I escaped.” 

Harry thought for a second. “And what did tell you about the Death Eaters?”

You frowned again, “Not much, only that they worked for someone with bad intentions. But I’m aware I was likely interrogated and tortured, though. Why?”

“Nott,” Harry said. “His father used to work for that ‘someone with bad intentions’. Malfoy’s father too. Oh, and, Nott’s best mate Riddle, he’s the son of that someone.”

You tried to register his words. Theo’s father? You knew Theo did not see him much, and never thought much about it. Draco? Who has been nothing but polite and kind to you? And Mattheo, the funny Mattheo who constantly teased Theo like a brother, and was friendly and warm? After all, you didn’t know any of them. For all you knew, they might have lied all along. 

“You…think they know something?” 

Harry shrugged, “Who knows. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t trust anyone. I…just want you to be safe, okay?” 

He opened his mouth to say something else but kept silent. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m here if you need anything.”

You nodded and after giving him a polite smile, you went back to the corridor, and walking down it, you ran into Professor Snape.

“Miss y/l/n.”

“Sir?”

“The Headmaster wishes to see you in his office at once. Please follow me.”

You nodded and followed him through numerous corridors. He made you enter a beautiful room with several windows, where the Headmaster was waiting for you. 

“Professor, Miss y/l/n.”

“Thank you, Severus. Please, Miss, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.”

You approached his desk, and sat on one of the large grey armchairs - which were far more comfortable than they looked.

“If you allow me, Miss, how do you feel?”

“I’m well, thank you, sir.” 

“And how was your first day here?”

“Very good, sir. I’m glad to be back in class with my classmates.”

 “Good, good. And, one last question, did any of your memories come back?”

You shook your head, “No, sir. I tried to remember anything, even small things, but in vain so far.”

Dumbledore nodded. “I expected it, do not worry. However, if I made you come here today, it’s not only to make sure you are well, but also, giving your answer to my last question, to tell you there is maybe a way to find your memory back.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Really?”

“Yes. Please, come”

You rose from the armchair and followed him to a small, beautiful basin you hadn’t noticed. 

“This is a Pensieve,” Dumbledore said kindly. "If I put a memory inside, I can watch it. Even the details I don’t remember will be there. However, in your case, I have a bit of hope that, if you put your head inside, you might find your memory again, or at least some of it.” He paused before continuing in an even kinder voice, “But if you do not wish to try, I will not force you. All you have to do is to say ‘no’ and I walk you to the door and wish you a good evening.”

“I want to try.”

For me, and for Teddy. He deserves it. 

And also to see if they’re all lying. 

Dumbledore smiled, “I’ll admit I’m happy to hear it, young lady. So, whenever you’re ready…You will just need to hold your breath for a moment…"

You nodded and walked to the basin, putting both your hands on it. You held your breath, and, having the reflex of closing your eyes, put your forehead forward in the liquid. Your eyes opened by themselves, but no memory came. No scene with your parents when you were a child,, or here at school with Pansy or Theo. The liquid seemed to move a little, as it was being stirred, but eventually, all you saw was white. You waited for a moment, before going back to the surface. You breathed again, and realised, stupidly, that you weren’t even wet. 

“Nothing, sir,” you said, feeling ashamed as if you had failed an exam or didn’t understand something that even a five year old got. “There was only white.”

The Headmaster nodded, “Yes, so I thought. Trust that I’m sorry, Miss. But I will continue looking for a remedy. In the meantime, if your friends or Mr Nott want to show you a memory they have, my door is always open.” 

“Thank you, sir.”

“I believe it is now time for me to wish you a good rest of your evening.”

“Good night, sir.”

You left the office and, after getting lost a few times, managed to finally find your way to the Slytherin’s common room. You heard familiar voices as you came in, and several faces immediately turned to you.

“y/n!” 

Theo and Pansy rose from the green couches and almost ran to you.

“Where the hell were you?” Theo asked in an angry voice. “We searched for you everywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, not expecting him to behave like that, “I was with Professor Dumbledore, he wanted to see how I was doing.” 

“Oh,” Pansy said. “That explains why we couldn't find you. Well, I have to go to the library to do some homework, so I'll see you both later.”

After Pansy left, Theo took your hand and gave you a large smile.

“I have a surprise for you, amore. In your dorm.”

“A surprise?” you said with a smile. 

“Yes,” he laughed. “Pansy and I actually didn’t have anything to tell McGonagall, we just needed to make sure everything was ready. That’s why I asked you to leave. Come on.”

His hand in yours, he led you to your dorm, where he slightly opened the door. 

“Close your eyes, love.”

A smile on your face, you closed them, and Theo put his hands on your shoulders to lead you in, and once you were inside, he put them around your waist. 

“You can look, baby,” he whispered in your ear.

You opened them, and saw the room had completely been transformed. There were flowers and at least thirty small lights in the air (A/N: Like in Disney’s “Tangled”, except it’s not lanterns) all arranged in a precise manner alongside shooting stars, and on your bed were several snacks and several presents. 

“Teddy! It’s so beautiful!” you said, and, without thinking, kissed him on the cheek.

“I’m glad you like it, cara mia. Come.”

The both of you sat on the bed, and he presented all the snacks - and the drinks - he had brought.

“I only took your favourite,” he smiled. “I can’t wait for you to try them.”

The feeling of guiltiness you had when the Pensieve didn’t work came back and you sighed. Maybe I can at least tell him that I tried somehow… 

“I tried,” you said. “In Dumbledore’s office. He…tried to make me remember, but…nothing came. I’m sorry, Teddy. I really want to remember, I promise you.”

“Amore, don’t be sorry,” he cupped one of your cheeks and pressed a kiss on it. “I know you would do anything to remember. And I know it’s not your fault.” 

You nodded before clearing your throat. “Teddy, I…I have a question.”

“Go ahead, amore.”

“Is it true your father used to be a Death Eater?”

Theo looked at you for a while, with both surprise and confusion.

“What? Who told you?” 

You hesitated, but decided to be honest. “Harry. He came to talk to me after class, and…”

“God damn it!” he said, angry now. “This little fucker always have to ruin things. Ever since we got together, he always tried to put ideas into your head.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “y/n, look, it’s true my father used to work for You-Know-Who, but I don’t know if he went back to him after his return, and I don’t care! He could die and I wouldn’t care! I don’t care about him, what he does or what he believes in. All I care about is us and, well, my friends, but I don’t give a damn about anything else!” 

“Teddy,” you said, “I know you care! I’m not saying you’re like him, but maybe through your father and Draco’s, we could find a way to find out who abducted me.”

Theo looked at you, apparently thinking. “We could try…But even if my father or Draco’s father or even his aunt know something, I don’t see them telling us anything unless we use Veritaserum. And we would have to wait for the next school break to ask them.” 

“I can wait,” you say. 

Theo sighed, “If that’s what you want, we’ll make a plan. But, tonight, can we just celebrate being together?” 

Both his voice and eyes were pleading, and all you could do was nod.

“Of course, Teddy.”

He seemed to relax, and, one by one, handed you the presents. There were books, an album filled with pictures of you and Theo, a small book where Theo had written all your memories together, and, to finish, some jewellery - a gorgeous necklace with a heart-shaped diamond, a ring with a small white flower on it - and you thought there was no more gifts and was about to give him a “thank you” kiss on the cheek but Theo took a small grey bag from his back. 

“This one is special,” he said before handing it to you.

You took it with a smile, and opened it. There was a beautiful, small bracelet inside. You took it out and was about to put it on when Theo reached a hand out.

“Do you mind if I put it on your wrist?”

“Sure.

You gave him your wrist and he put the bracelet, but he didn’t let go of your wrist, looking instead at it and caressing it with his thumb. 

“This bracelet is different from the other gifts,” he said. “I gifted it to you on our first anniversary. It has never left your wrist ever since, except once.” You frowned and he looked at you, “when you got abducted, you lost it. I found it on the ground when I was looking for you, and I knew something was wrong.” 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “Your absence was killing me, cara mia. We were never separated since we got together, you know. Even during school breaks, you invited me to your home. Not only that, I didn’t know where you were and could only imagine what you were going through. Even my dreams were filled with nightmares of you facing unspeakable things alone. I couldn’t think of anything but you and how I missed you. I stopped going to class and going down for meals. I would have done anything to get you back, you know? I know I’m still a stranger to you, y/n, and it’s probably too early, but I love you. More than anything, more than my life. You’re all I have, you know? My mother is dead, my father doesn’t give a damn about me. Sure, I have my friends but you…God, y/n, you’re…everything. All the joy and happiness I have, I owe it to you. You taught me to be kinder with others but also with myself, and to have faith in me and what we had. I never took you for granted, and it hasn’t changed. But now, I can’t stand to be apart from you. I totally understand if you want to take things slow, and I will earn your trust and love again, but, please, just…just give a chance, amore. A chance to show you why I’m your Teddy and why you’re my y/n, and to make up for the time we lost. That, even if you don’t remember it, there is a reason why we were together. If you never get your memory back, it’s fine, I’ll spend hours telling you about every moment we had together in detail, and we’ll create new happy ones. I…love you, y/n.” 

After his last words, there was a silence and you could almost feel the weight of his words sinking in, going straight to your heart. That’s when you realised the attraction and the pull you had felt towards him from the moment you saw him was completely normal because Theo, with his large blue eyes and his adorable accent, was your soulmate. There was no doubt why you had loved him. Unable to say a word, you brought your hands to his cheeks and kissed him. The surprise caused him to not kiss you back immediately, but once he did, it was with all the longing he had felt ever since you had disappeared. One of his hands found your waist while the other was on one side of your neck. Your heart started beating faster and you felt something in your stomach before, all of a sudden, you felt as if you were struck by lighting. Your eyes opened by themselves, and images came rushing into your head. 

You playing with your parents as a child, buying your wand, being sorted into Slytherin, your first conversation with Theo and Pansy, all the classes and exams, your time spent with Theo before you guys dated, the moment you realised you were madly in love with him, your first date and first kiss, all the times you guys cuddled, the first time you spent the night loving each other, and, finally the last time you saw him before your abduction. Then, memories of a dark, dirty room and people wearing black pointing their wands at you, screaming in pain as you swore you didn’t know anything, and then, finally managing to escape and run back to the forest where you passed out. You felt tears coming out of your eyes, and broke the kiss.

“I love you too, Teddy. More than anything,” you whispered. 

He frowned, full of confusion, and you stroked his cheeks. 

“I…I don’t know why, but the kiss, it brought back all my memories back. Our first date was a picnic near the lake, right? That’s when we had our first kiss.”

He didn’t say anything but nodded. “You…You remember.”

It was your turn to nod before hugging him, stroking his hair and inhaling his comforting scent. 

“It’s the bracelet,” he suddenly said before breaking the hug. “When I bought it, the man at the shop told me it had magical properties, but I didn’t listen. I was late for class and wanted to have time to create a surprise for our evening. Maybe it remembers its owner?”

“Maybe,” you agreed. “But whatever it did, I’m glad you decided to give it to me that day. I always saw it as a symbol of our love, and now I truly believe it is.”

Theo nodded and you stared at him, admiring how gorgeous he was.

“I love you,” you said, “my Teddy.”

He kissed you again, this time with passion, and you knew this night was the first of many beautiful new memories together. 

(A/N: The bracelet, as Theo said, was magic. When y/n was abducted, a tear fell from her eye to bracelet, and we know memories can be found in tears. So the bracelet basically saved the memories and when she put it on, her memories came back.)

Want to be tagged? Just use my Ask-Box!

Masterlist

Next projects

[inkofthebrain]

Hey I was wondering if you still take requests for lee from bones and all. If you do can you do one where reader is a non eater but travels with Lee and Maren (maybe they're in a relationship with Lee Maren as well if you're comfortable) and when they meet brad and jake , Jake says something ( maybe insinuating that he wants to eat her) and they get protective especially lee. If you don't want to write or don't feel comfortable it's ok. Thank you! Have a good day/night!

FOUNDERS’ BLUES

[Lee x Reader oneshot] 623 words

Tags: No y/n, non-eater Reader, lee being protective, no Maren (sorry bae ily)

Warnings: Bones and all typical shit. Mentions of abuse and parental addiction.

A/n: I made this a song fic and idk how I feel about it. Anyway song if from a deleted scene with those mf hillbillies. Enjoy <3

———

———

Beat and bloody, walking along the steaming asphalt of the highway in the peak of summer. Your feet were walked bare and you could feel your pulse behind every cut and bruise.

That was when Lee found you; “all bloody and beautiful.” You had taken enough beatings from your addict parents and when they brought you close to death, you knew it was either that or life on the road.

He took you to a nearby diner to fill your stomach before he started pressing you with questions. You couldn’t hold it in, you told him everything.

He had gotten you a motel for a few nights so you could recover. At first you thought his actions were due to his sincere concern, but when he had snuck into the motel room he booked for you covered in blood; you soon learnt the truth.

I run the roads 'cause I know best.

Leave the highway for to get my rest.

Sleeping o'er the meeting house and dream of who tastes best.

Your parents were declared missing by none other than their drug dealer a few days later. Lee thought you would have hated him, he had only snuck in to take advantage of the shower, but when he said,

“They’re gone.” you just hugged him.

I come to town and I know best.

I greet the day on my two legs.

More months than you could count on your hands had passed and you and Lee had gotten extremely close; physically, emotionally, on every level.

Slide my arms inside these red and grey tails.

Push the window open, find the reverend up and dressed.

I fear the Lord, but I know best.

You and him had ran into another duo, two hillbillies in the woods; Brad, the eater, and Jake, a wanna-be eater. What a gruesome pair.

I clean the floor and stay a day.

Slip in your room, lay my hands on your frame Daughter come and die for me, protesting less and less.

Close your eyes, I'll do the rest.

“You’ve got a sweet one there, dontcha’ Lee?” Brad’s cadence on sweet made chills run down your spine. You, as calmly as you could, gave Lee’s arm a squeeze and he gave you a knowing look.

Midnight comes and it's the best.

Stare the stars at me, the moon to ingest,

“What do you mean by that man?” Lee barked.

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you’ve never thought of it!” Lee sat up and scooted a little in front of you, ready to jump at the creep at any second.

“You are crossing a line man” Lee threatened.

The smile he had on his face when he noticed was sickening, you wondered if he was always this off-putting.

You leaned in and asked Lee if it was time to go and he gave you a subtle nod.

Leave the untold buried in a sack where no one guessed,

and take the ride that runs the best.

You got up and quickly walked to the car until you heard Lee yell, “RUN!”

Your head snapped back and you saw Lee running right behind you, the hillbillies on his tail.

You threw open the truck door and slid to the driver's seat, leaving the door open for Lee.

“KEYS!” You yelled, Lee was one step ahead of you and threw the keys in the bay of the truck.

As you threw your arm down to grab them, Lee jumped in the truck and you started it. You drove off and watched the two men run behind the truck.

I'll take the ride that runs the best

I'll take the ride that runs the best

I take the ride that runs the best.

[zigrethsnotebook]

Hey, there! <3 I'll be honest with you @subt1tl3, I don't know a whole lot about Bill's home dimension (haven't gotten my hand on TBOB yet, unfortunately), but I will google it and try my best to make this interesting regardless, because the idea sounds awesome! ^^'

edit: sorry I read opposite of Bill and blacked out for a while, hope this makes sense haha

The Demon's Angel

Bill x Euclidean!Reader

words: 2,236

tags: sfw, angst, starts out a bit horrific (description of what happened to Euclydia), gets a little better after that

Bill Cipher. You had heard of him back in the day. The disabled triangle. Blind they called him. Little did they know how wrong they were. Little did they know of all the things out there, just outside their vision.

Now, to be fair, way back when you had first heard of him, you hadn't actually met him. Had someone told you back then that he could see the stars as well then you would have made an effort to find him.

Nobody did, though. And you hadn't exactly been willing to give up your life the way you had built it, just on the irrational hope that you could find someone who was like you. Someone who could see the stars.

Unlike Bill, you were lucky enough to be blessed with many eyes. Too many, perhaps, because some of them hadn't settled on your sides the way they were supposed to. Instead, they were strewn all over your body.

Which meant that you could see your home world, two dimensional, the way you were supposed to. But any time you opened the rest of your eyes, you could see beyond that. You could see into the third dimension.

You quickly learnt that this was not a normal gift to have and stopped talking about it early on. Your parents had soon forgotten that you ever talked about it, thinking it was just your childhood imagination. It was for the better.

Then, it was worse. Out of nowhere your whole world shifted, lifted from the ground only you could perceive. You watched your friends and family quite literally fall apart, physically incapable of existing in three dimensions.

Unmoving, you waited for the same to happen to you. It never did.

It took you a very long time to find your bearings. You had to learn how to stand, walk and then taught yourself how to float, finding it easier than walking. You tried to find someone, anyone still alive but you found no one.

After what would have been at least a millenia by this world's calculations, you gave up. You accepted your fate of being the only survivor of this world and sought out a new one.

Somehow, after many centuries of trying to, you managed to jump into a different dimension. There, you found three dimensional creatures of all shapes and sizes. You made it your new home.

It took the creatures of this world many millennia to evolve into humans. Fascinating creatures. They were able to have complex thoughts and eventually, they were able to communicate with you. You helped them build their civilization and they, in turn, worshiped you.

They believed you were a being sent by the gods to guide them. Angel, they called you. You gladly took the new name, anything to rid you of the memories of your old world.

You were able to perform what the humans called 'magic'. You would have been able to explain your abilities to them, but they were not yet ready to understand. It was unclear if they ever would be able to understand.

There were times when you missed your home and the people but you were always able to busy yourself with new things before the memories got too heavy.

Meanwhile, Bill had conquered the nightmare realm and was looking for a new dimension. Stanford Pines had just summoned him for the first time and they quickly became partners. Or that's what Bill wanted him to think.

One day, Bill wanted to prove to Ford that he was clairvoyant and could see the past, present and future of this world. As he did that, he had... not a vision, but something else. It felt like an instinct, long forgotten and buried deep beneath himself. It called out to him, telling him that there was something in this world. A remnant of his own.

Bill made Ford look for it around the entire globe. When Ford came back empty-handed he almost blew his cover. Bill knew there was something here, he could feel it. But there was nothing he could do.

Eventually, Ford realized something. He showed Bill various religious texts and explained how his own resembled the description most associated with a demon. Oblivious fool that Ford was, he didn’t think about the implications of his own findings.

Further, he explained, he found descriptions that were essentially the same, but claimed the being to be an angel. A being with a diamont body that was covered in eyes.

Bill couldn't explain how, but he knew that this was what... who he was looking for. Another Euclidean.

He made plans to look for them himself as soon as Ford had finished the portal and he could enter this world. There was nothing he longed for more than to find someone from home. Anything, to make him feel like he hadn't destroyed his entire reality.

When Ford inevitably snapped and was sucked into the nightmare realm he was devastated. Bill couldn't believe that he had failed so miserably yet again.

Another thirty years went by before he got another shot at entering this world. Your world. His plans to conquer it were now only a facade he kept up to hide his true goal of finding you.

Eventually, he managed to step over, to cause weirdmageddon. He wanted to use it as a cover to look for you, but he was again struck down as he realized that the entire town of Gravity Falls was covered in a large bubble keeping all the weirdness inside.

Bill cursed to himself and wreaked havoc over the town, letting out all his anger and frustration on its citizens.

It took about two days to reach you, the sound of their prayers. These days, not all humans believed in your existence. But those who did would pray to you regularly. Some of those humans resided in Gravity Falls.

At first, you were hesitant to go. There was always trouble somewhere in this world and you were already busy. But then, one of the prayers begged you to safe them from a demon in the shape of a triangle.

Humans and all the other creatures of this world were round and awfully misshapen, none held the form of a geometric shape. You made your way to this town at once.

When you arrived and floated in front of the barrier you were intrigued. You had been to every part of this planet but nothing like this had ever shown itself to you. You floated through the barrier with ease.

Even though you didn’t know it yet, and maybe would never find out, the barrier was focused on weirdness. You, on the other hand, were classified as divine by the humans. Therefore, it had no effect on you.

In the midst of this town, the center of the barrier, you saw a gigantic pyramid floating above the ground. It was a good first place to look for a triangle.

You floated inside, careful not to be seen, keeping eyes out in every conceivable direction. In the center of a big hall, you found a massive throne made of humans who were turned to stone. Apart from them, the room was empty.

You made quick work of the throne, turning all humans back to their true form and guiding them to a place to hide, urging them to be quiet. They trusted you, even the ones who didn’t believe in you anymore. The trust had been passed down in generations and was now a part of the humans' very DNA.

You floated into the middle of the room where the throne once stood and waited. It didn’t take long for Bill to be back.

His body was still very big, to fit in with his friends. They had just collected Ford. Bill held the human coated in gold in his hand. When he entered the room and saw that the throne was missing, he was about to explode into a fit of rage.

But he didn’t when he saw you. Floating there in that same spot. A rhombus littered with eyes. Your body purple, your limbs white with a halo floating above you. You looked like the exact opposite of him and he fell in love instantly.

Bill was so mesmerized by you that he dropped Ford to the floor and shrunk his own body down to your size as he floated toward you. His maniacs knew better than to question his actions.

He was speechless. Bill had spent millenia looking for other survivors and now he had found one. Floating in his own house. More or less. You also recognized him for what he was but right now you felt a stronger connection to the humans than to him.

You narrowed all of your eyes at him. Your voice was loud and booming. "You dare to hurt these creatures?!" Bill scoffed. "Why do you care?" You floated closer to him, conjuring thunder to boom inside the pyramid. "This world is my home. And these creatures are under my protection!" You conjured a lightning bolt to strike between you two.

Bill stumbled back, his eye wide in shock. He couldn't get on your bad side! The last thing he wanted right now was for the other last Euclidean to despise him personally.

"No! No, no, no. That was never my intention. I just needed a way to get your attention. Here, I'll prove it." Bill floated the golden Ford over to himself, making him stand upright between you two. He turned Ford back to his normal form.

Ford, in turn, immediately turned to Bill, angry. "I'll never help you, Bill. There is nothing you could offer me to give up the entire planet for you to destroy!" Bill's eye widened even more as he scrambled to cover Ford's mouth with his hand. "He didn’t mean that."

You were about to go for another round of intimidation when it hit you. Your frown faded and your posture relaxed. "Did he just call you Bill? You're not Bill Cipher, are you? The blind guy?"

Bill's hand on Ford's face lost its grip and he quickly pushed it away as Bill floated a little closer to you again. "The very same! Although, I haven't been called blind in a while." You suddenly felt sheepish. "I didn’t mean to insult you."

Ford and the henchmaniacs looked around each other quizzically, none of them able to grasp what this meeting meant to either of you. They were also a little weirded out by the obvious flirting that was starting between you both.

"You couldn't possibly. But do tell, who are you exactly? Have we met before?" Bill floated around you, looking at you from every angle. It was cute. You followed his movements with your eyes.

"No, we've never met. The people of this world call me Angel." Bill chuckled. "I can get behind that, you certainly look like an angel to me."

Ford cleared his throat, getting the attention and a glare from Bill. "Don't you two want to have some... privacy?" He tried to word the question as ambiguous as possible. You spoke before Bill had a chance to.

"Yes. You all are free to leave. Bill and I have some catching up to do." He wanted to protest but when he turned back to look at you, all the anger faded from his mind. You shifted your focus back to Bill. "Come with me."

You floated out of the pyramid, Bill following close behind. Both of you leaving the humans and the henchmaniacs behind. Surprisingly, nothing bad happened. During the time you and Bill were away, the humans found a way to get back down to the ground and the others found something else to do.

You both left the pyramid and you led Bill to the cliff, sitting on the edge of it together, looking up at the stars. "I will never get tired of the stars. Did you see them as well? Back home?" You turned some of your eyes to Bill as you voiced the question. The rest remained locked on the night sky.

"Yes." Bill took a deep breath before he continued. "They called me blind because I could only look up at the stars. The only time I saw the faces of my parents was when-" His voice broke off. He didn’t need to finish the sentence.

"That's horrible. I'm so sorry." You reached your hand out to comfort him. Bill flinched when your hand made contact with his side but he quickly relaxed into the touch. "Back then I had heard stories of a blind triangle. If I had known that you were like me..."

Your voice trailed off as Bill turned to look at you. "I'm sorry, too. For not finding you before today." You hummed. "I suppose it was meant to be this way. At least now we finally get to look at the stars together."

Bill turned back towards the sky. "Yeah..." Without thinking about it, he leaned towards you until his side was resting on yours. A sudden panic of overstepping filled his systems and just as he was about to pull away again, you wrapped your arm around him, keeping him at your side.

He relaxed into your touch. Finally, he had found someone who felt a little bit like home...

p.s.: little doodle of what I imagine reader to look like in this

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (10) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the calm before the storm?

masterlist | last part | part 10 | next part

INSTAGRAM

mclaren Shanghai International Circuit

54,829 likes

mclaren Looks like a race day to me 🤔 tagged: oscarpiastri and landonorris

pi4str1 good luck papaya fam 🧡🧡🧡

michelle.ar manifesting double podiums again

jimpxcs Let's go boys 🔥

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h WELCOME BACK LINA F1 LIVE TWEETS ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h she's so real for these reactions honestly 😭

INSTAGRAM

lilymhe just posted to their story

TWITTER

🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 45m stfu i'd know that silhouette anywhere. lily muni he at shenzhen n3??? ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 39m not just lily! alex, logan and oscar were also spotted in the venue!!

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m omg oscalina crumbs 🥹 ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m this is so sad, they've already hard launched, why do i still feel like i'm in a drought

INSTAGRAM

lilymhe

liked by selinabui and 143,284 other

lilymhe Been hanging out with some rockstars lately 🤟 tagged: alex_albon, cameliazzz, selinabui and oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri Today I learnt: I still suck at golf ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri dw babe, at least we suck together ❤️‍🩹 ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui 🥹

selinabui gonna stick to singing my silly songs that was such a humbling experience ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui You did better than Alex

pastry81 the mother convention ft some kens

alex_albon I personally don't recommend karaoke with a musician

linasgirl4 THANK U LILY MUNI HE FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THE OSCALINA PHOTOS WE APPRECIATE U GREATLY liked by creator

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 201,395 others

oscarpiastri Some moments off-track

dan_pjd puppy !!!🥺 so we have roscoe hamilton, leo leclerc and this is...? ↳ marie_h.sb @dan_pjd apollo! lina adopted him a year ago

landonorris I thought that was lily but no, she's really serious about that golfing thing, ain't she?

celia.sucxr why does he keep posting her ↳ pastry81 @ celia.sucxr because that's his girlfriend???

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 4h too many people bitching and moaning about oscar posting about lina but u don't understand, if u were dating selina bui, u would also never stfu about her ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 4h she's still mid lmao ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h until u have acclaimed music critics blaming ur success on pretty privilege, shut up :) ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 3h oomfie you ATE that and also unlocked a core memory

INSTAGRAM

emptybottles_official Shenzhen Bay Sports Center

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 362,486 others

emptybottles_official A beautiful Shenzhen homecoming for Lina and Jonny 💖 Thank you guys so much for three amazing nights of fun (and screaming with us) 🔜 Bangkok

lilymhe had an absolute blast! ↳ emptybottles_official @ lilymhe join us again soon?

zhouguanyu24 Did she sing THE song? ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 keeping dreaming man

piastri_lina shenzhen, how does it feel to WIN 😭

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 1h and what do melb n1, tokyo n2 (replacement) and shenzhen n3 have in common? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 49m oscar piastri shows you will always be famous ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 28m no bc someone needs to get the stats on her energy when oscar is in the crowd like girlie is BEAMING

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha

[callme-holly]

Hey! Could I please request just a sweetheart all American reader with Rusty James and she’s been hiding how sad she’s been feeling and he’s just really confused because she always seems really happy and he doesn’t really know what to do and tries to be really gentle. Thank you ❤️

𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 – 𝑅.𝐽

a/n: I LOVE HIM SM. thank you sm for the request hon <3

Your room smelt faintly of lavender and fresh linen, something Rusty James had learnt to love, a smell he associated with the warmth of your presence and that alone. It was seraphic, just as you were, soft in a way that was subtle but clear nonetheless. 

your sheets were clean and floral, delicate shades of pink that matched everything else in your room, complementing the other shades in a way that seemed to light it up. The fabric was gentle against his skin, soft like velvet, and comforting enough to make him sink into the mattress with a long heavy sigh.

“Love when you wash ‘em.” His voice is a low rumble, rough from smoke and lack of use, resounding off the walls, foreign in the effulgence of your space. 

Your response was a quiet hum, barely noticeable over the din of the record player in the corner, some older track warbling away, the notes drifting steadily. And that was unusual… 

Normally, whenever he was in your room, you wouldn’t think twice before curling up next to him, close enough for him to be engulfed with the honey scent of your perfume. Your words were always filled with naive excitement, oblivious to the way you had a greaser melting like putty under your hands.

But now… Now you were distant, so far away you might as well have not been under the same roof. Your eyes had that dreamy look about them, your reticence concerning enough to make him frown and push up onto his elbow. 

“What’s goin’ on?” 

You simply shrugged, dropping onto the edge of the mattress with a soft, exhausted huff. “Just… I don’t know. Feel down.” 

Down? What was that supposed to mean? You couldn’t be sad, because that wasn’t something you ever seemed to reflect. You were normally always so cheerful, buzzing with a joy that was contagious, your smile so bright that everyone couldn’t help but return it.

“What?” Rusty leaned forward, arms encircling your middle, pulling you back just enough so that you were pressed against his chest. “What’d you mean, down?” 

“I mean I feel sad, Rusty James.” And that teasing lilt in your voice was gone, the melancholy that replaced it enough to make his heart sink to the pit of his stomach, heavy as lead.

“Why?” 

Another shrug. 

Rusty swallowed heavily, lowering his gaze for a few fleeting moments before pulling you further so that you were settled beside him, face a mere few inches from his. His fingers carded through the ends of your hair, twirling and untangling in a way that was nothing but tender. 

“You don’t gotta be sad, doll. You can talk to me know that?” 

“I know,” you started, tucking your face in the crook of his neck, deciding that hiding your emotions felt safer than exposing them—raw and unyielding— to the world. “I don’t know what’s wrong, though. I just feel sad sometimes.” 

Rusty James tilted his head, eyes soft, lacking their usual hardness. “For how long?” 

“A while. Didn’t want to say anything, though.” 

And maybe that was the most surprising thing. Because you always seemed so put together: perfect grades, popular enough to not be snobbish, polite, sweet… Never sad. That hadn’t even crossed his mind. 

He was at a loss for words, dumbfounded and silent. “Is there anything I can do?” He whispered finally, letting the question hang in the air for a few seconds. 

“Just stay with me.” 

And that was all he needed. His grip on you tightened, pulling you so you were settled on his chest, face still hidden in the crook of his neck, breathing in the familiar aroma of smoke and cheap cologne that clung to him like glue. 

It was peaceful, comforting, safe… Everything you needed and more. 

tag list. @mrsdillonx , @goingdelux18 , @princesshailierawr , @r0seb100d , @groovydonutpost let me know if you want to be added <3

[bonnibelleangelica]

How to Write Romance Beyond The Confession

(Frustrated)

You know the problem I’m talking about. Will They/Won’t They runs its course and suddenly the audience is dropping like flies. This is unfortunately not completely avoidable, people love tension and cliffhangers, but you don’t need to drag everything out so you can hold people's attention for just a few more chapters.

Here are some things I learnt from having my characters get together before the third chapter in all my most popular stories:

1) Have a narrative!

Baby, you need to write a BOOK, not a compilation of sexual frustration. Give me something else to stick around for and maybe I will.

2) Likeable Characters

You know what gets old fast? The brooding, flawless, unbelievably hot love interest. Once they get together (and before), I want to see INTIMACY, not a guy who's trying to act as cool as possible around his girlfriend. Give him (or her) flaws and let him open up a little. And I don’t mean a traumatic backstory, I mean let him laugh and make mistakes and get flustered and admit when he’s wrong. PLEASE. No one wants to date someone who can’t drop the act.

3) What is Love? (Baby don’t hurt me)

Hey, you know how people like being in love? I wonder why that is. Perhaps, there is value in a relationship beyond the first kiss. Maybe moving in together, knowing each other deeply, exploring your sex life, bonding with the in-laws, getting married and having kids and facing life together are all beautiful things that deserve to be celebrated. Just a thought…

4) Affection

Listen, you don’t need sappy pet names and a disgusting amount of PDA, but there are ways to have your lovers’ dynamics be special. Let them lean against each other in group discussions, hold onto their partner in crowded places to make sure they don’t get lost, recognise hidden emotions the others don’t and pull their love aside to check-in. Teasing, cuddling, taking time to decompress together, pdhtymf its the best. Don’t neglect the little moments, they’re what makes the story so addictive.

5) The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

If your story falls apart if they get together too soon, its a skill issue and its probably a red flag that your whole story has huge problems. Shallow characters, flimsy narrative, boring world building, prose that drags on and on, side characters that offer nothing, these are all huge issues that cannot be ignored even if you want to keep the reveal until the very end. This is a symptom, don’t ignore it.

Signs You’re Doing Something Right

-Your side characters are interesting, you could write a spin-off about them, you give them more screen time than you expected.

-You aren’t desperate to get back to the love interest and if they do pop up, the scene isn’t just the MCs being thirsty

-If asked “why does female MC not have feelings for male MC’s bestfriend,” you could confidently list traits FMC finds particularly appealing. His build, manners, interests, worldview, love language etc.

-You can imagine the coffee shop fanfics where even without the spectacle of your world, these two still have a great dynamic

-Cut the sex scenes, am I still reading?

-Pretend they can never touch each other, is there any appeal left? What do they do with themselves? How hot can you still make the scenes?

If this was helpful, click “my writing tips” in the tags to see all my other writing posts. And check out my dystopian romance book here @statusquoofficial

[iamgayforyourmom1510]

Lost and Found

Okayy, before y'all read ahead, this is my first ever PROPER fic. I have written a few things before but it's been a veryyyyyy long time since. I wrote this for an english assignment, mostly to spite my homophobe teacher but also decided to post it. I hope y'all enjoyyy <<33

Barty had never felt so lost before. He wasn’t stuck in the middle of a maze, or struggling to find the answer to a riddle nor was he confused about something. No, he felt lost in a way where one doesn’t have anyone they feel seen with. Like maybe they are lost in the world somewhere. He didn’t know why he felt this way but what he did know was that he was seated in a class quite boring. Well, as boring as one can be when you’re learning about magic. He also knew that he wanted to be found. 

     But that wasn’t happening right now. What was happening though, was that now the students were to try and use the spell they just learnt about. The Patronus Charm. Something about a magical guardian that they can summon to protect themselves from the evil. Barty didn’t care much about all of it, he knew he’d get the hang of it in a day or so, or at least he hoped he did. Thinking about a happy memory for conjuring the guardian was not something he was fond of. Not when he lacked those exact same things. 

       He still decided to give it a shot, though, picking up his wand and waving it around in the specific movement they needed to as he muttered the incantations under his breath. He was trying to focus on a happy memory, one where he had ended up successfully pranking one of the younger students. There was a little smoke from the tip of his wand but nothing else happened. 

       Barty scoffed in annoyance, which only increased more when there was a sudden glow from the other end of the room. There was no way someone else had already pulled off the spell, that too before him but his annoyance disappeared when he saw who it had been. 

       Evan stood there, a wide grin spread on his face as his guardian otter prancing around the room, enlightening it with its glow. Barty couldn’t help but walk over to his best friend, standing by his side.       “How did you do that?” Barty huffed, a small pout forming on his lips as he stared at the slightly shorter boy beside him. 

         “Thought of a happy memory, s’all.” Evan shrugged. 

       “Oh yeah? And what exactly was it that had you get it right on the first go?” Barty questioned, his voice teasing as he nudged his friend lightly. 

“You.” Evan replied, barely louder than a whisper with a small smile playing on his lips as the otter slowly faded away. His voice sounded so soft and genuine, it had made Barty’s heart skip a beat. In that moment, Barty felt like he may have not been so lost, afterall. He felt like maybe he had been found in that very moment.

AHHH I love them smm <3 Also, like promised, @barty-not-barry @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr tagging y'all because I said I will. I know it took a while and it's quiet short but i had a word limit and I am currently in the middle of my exams, lmao

[hahnspoetrycorner]

My Dragon (Lanfear x fem!dragon!reader)

A/N: OHHHHH i'm sorry if this is messy this was purely self gratification at its finest!

also! i don't know why but whenever i write Lanfear x fem!reader i always listen to cigarettes after sex or lana del rey... this time it was cigarettes after sex. not sure why.

Tags: @lanfear-is-my-darkmistress @baubeautyandthegeek

Warnings: implied murder!, lanfear being sketchy? (depends on how you read it), reader getting yelled at (only mentioned)

You’ve never moved to silence your alarm so quickly when it started ringing. You were already awake but you didn’t want to wake your gorgeous partner as she cuddled up against your back. Although you’d start in completely different positions, you’d always wake up in exactly the same position every morning. Lanfear was always cuddled up against your back, acting as the big spoon. Her arms were wrapped around your waist, stroking your bare skin underneath your top. Your hands moved to hold her arms, basking in the warmth she radiated. You smiled as you shuffled back further into her embrace.

“Good morning, my love.” Lanfear’s voice was still heavy with sleep but she wished you a good morning before holding you tighter.

“Please don’t get up,” she whispered against your back, pressing kisses against the exposed skin of your shoulders. Her lips were soft, featherlight as they touched your skin. Her touch was always so tender, like she was holding delicate china. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” You whispered gently, linking one of your hands with yours where it rested against your stomach, “I wish I didn’t have to.” 

You smiled sadly as you felt her hand squeeze yours, more kisses being trailed up the nape of your neck. 

“You know you don’t have to, right? Your talents are wasted helping those little Aes Sedai.” Lanfear whispered, pressing a kiss to your jawline as she rested her head in the crook of your neck. 

“My little Dragon, my darling love.” Her voice was soft as velvet, especially when she wanted you to do something. And she knew you couldn’t say no when she spoke to you in such a way. One of her hands drifted to stroke your hip, fingers gently tracing along your skin. 

“Why don’t you come with me? Leave this dreary tower and accompany me… you can have all the mornings in bed with me, cuddle as long as you wish. Just like this,” Her lips found your jaw once more, her words and soft touches working hard to convince you.

She knew you were naive… more so than Rand was, but she took care of him. All she had to do was wait for the next reincarnation, wait for the Dragon to be reborn again. She would thank the Great Lord before she slaughtered him that the Dragon Reborn was you. You were so desperate to be loved, held, cared for by someone like her, and she was happy to oblige. An innocent soul, all for her. With the Dragon Reborn in her hands, she was unstoppable. 

“How do I know you really want me there? That you’re not just lying to me because of who I am.” You spoke, anxiety rising as you thought about leaving with her. 

It’s what you truly wanted, you didn’t want to keep working with these Aes Sedai and your warder. All they seemed to want to do was yell at you for not being strong enough to control your power, how you would never be the true Dragon Reborn. When you were with Lanfear, she encouraged you, guided you better than any of them could. She was always gentle with your teachings too, which surprised you. You felt like you had learnt more with her in the few months she’d been secretly meeting with you, than you had in the Tower over the last 3 years.

Her hand continued to stroke your hip, her lips nipping at your skin. 

“My darling Dragon, I want you by my side no matter what. I’ll protect you, keep you safe while I teach you how to channel saidar fully. We’ll be unstoppable, we can take down the Dark Lord, The Creator… We can rule everything. Without you by my side, it wouldn’t be worth it at all. I want to do this for you, so I can keep you with me… forever.” Her mouth moved from your neck to your ear, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear between her whispered words. Her voice made you shiver with excitement and fear. 

You knew she was a Forsaken, or Chosen as Lanfear preferred, but as you laid with her, you couldn’t understand everyone's obsession with keeping you away from her. Lanfear seemed like the best person for you to be around. 

“How about it, my little one? Let me take you away from this place and keep you by my side, safe and protected.” Her sweet words interrupted your train of thought. You turned in her hold, wrapping your arms around her as you hid your face in her chest, nodding profusely. Lanfear’s arms wrapped around you tightly, pressing numerous kisses to your hairline as you tangled your legs with hers once more. You felt tears spring to your eyes, you’d never felt this safe or comfortable with someone in your whole life.

“My sweet Dragon, it’s all going to be okay. Nothing will harm you, I swear.” She felt your body tremble against her and pulled you away from her chest. 

Looking at you, she knew you were different from the other two. You weren’t as hot headed or angry, you were smaller, innocent, kind, beautiful. The other two she would happily use for their power and their status, but you, you she would burn the world for. Destroy the Dark Lord and the Creator together if it meant keeping you happy and safe. Her soft lips found yours with a reassuring kiss, one Lanfear poured all her love into. As she pulled away, she moved to kiss away your tears, letting the salty liquid disappear on her lips. You were her Dragon, she wouldn’t stand to see you cry, not even if she were the cause of your tears. 

“Come, my sweet Dragon. No more tears,” Lanfear’s touch was protective as she held you close to her body. You could sense her begin to channel, feeling her grasp on saidar. You felt safe when she channelled, her weaves settling gently against the pair of you as she prepared herself. A sound of someone pounding against the door behind you tried to distract you, to wake you from this idea but you didn’t want it. You finally felt safe and protected, you weren’t going to give that up now!

“Close your eyes, baby girl. I’ve got you now,” You closed your eyes as a loud noise began to surround you, the air growing cold making you cuddle up closer to your Forsaken. She held you tighter as the door flung open. The last thing you heard was someone screaming out your name as you disappeared from the Tower with Lanfear, feeling her smile against your cheek as she kissed your skin.

You were finally hers.

[wh0re-for-w0lfstar]

Lost and Found

Okayy, before y'all read ahead, this is my first ever PROPER fic. I have written a few things before but it's been a veryyyyyy long time since. I wrote this for an english assignment, mostly to spite my homophobe teacher but also decided to post it. I hope y'all enjoyyy <<33

Barty had never felt so lost before. He wasn’t stuck in the middle of a maze, or struggling to find the answer to a riddle nor was he confused about something. No, he felt lost in a way where one doesn’t have anyone they feel seen with. Like maybe they are lost in the world somewhere. He didn’t know why he felt this way but what he did know was that he was seated in a class quite boring. Well, as boring as one can be when you’re learning about magic. He also knew that he wanted to be found. 

     But that wasn’t happening right now. What was happening though, was that now the students were to try and use the spell they just learnt about. The Patronus Charm. Something about a magical guardian that they can summon to protect themselves from the evil. Barty didn’t care much about all of it, he knew he’d get the hang of it in a day or so, or at least he hoped he did. Thinking about a happy memory for conjuring the guardian was not something he was fond of. Not when he lacked those exact same things. 

       He still decided to give it a shot, though, picking up his wand and waving it around in the specific movement they needed to as he muttered the incantations under his breath. He was trying to focus on a happy memory, one where he had ended up successfully pranking one of the younger students. There was a little smoke from the tip of his wand but nothing else happened. 

       Barty scoffed in annoyance, which only increased more when there was a sudden glow from the other end of the room. There was no way someone else had already pulled off the spell, that too before him but his annoyance disappeared when he saw who it had been. 

       Evan stood there, a wide grin spread on his face as his guardian otter prancing around the room, enlightening it with its glow. Barty couldn’t help but walk over to his best friend, standing by his side.       “How did you do that?” Barty huffed, a small pout forming on his lips as he stared at the slightly shorter boy beside him. 

         “Thought of a happy memory, s’all.” Evan shrugged. 

       “Oh yeah? And what exactly was it that had you get it right on the first go?” Barty questioned, his voice teasing as he nudged his friend lightly. 

“You.” Evan replied, barely louder than a whisper with a small smile playing on his lips as the otter slowly faded away. His voice sounded so soft and genuine, it had made Barty’s heart skip a beat. In that moment, Barty felt like he may have not been so lost, afterall. He felt like maybe he had been found in that very moment.

AHHH I love them smm <3 Also, like promised, @barty-not-barry @barbie-wants-to-be-me-fr tagging y'all because I said I will. I know it took a while and it's quiet short but i had a word limit and I am currently in the middle of my exams, lmao

[gallavich-annise]

🥶 Weekly Tag WednesThursday 🧟‍♀️

Thanks to @jrooc for the game and the tag! These were really hard, but I wanted to play... So a day late but still here.

Name: still Annise

Age you are mentally: 19 or 65 depending on the day. Nothing in between.

Top 3 fics that came out last year (that you can remember at this point lol) :

I'm going to copy two of @jrooc's answers because a) they are awesome fics and b) that means I don't have to trawl so hard through my bookmarks. I read loads and have no idea when most of it was posted, but these were definitely among my favourites

How to Disappear by @deedala

Out of Nowhere by @suzy-queued (I actually read it this year, but that's not the question so it's fine).

Wanna Go Again by @wehangout

(and actually since the game setter cheated and put 4, I'm also gonna copy Last Night at the Verona Grand Hotel by @the-rat-wins, because it was also awesome)

Add in any authors who you read all of their things: I've read all of @the-rat-wins Gallavich fic, and they're currently the only writer I've done that for intentionally... But I will jump at new stuff by @wehangout @palepinkgoat and @suzy-queued and there's probably a few others (sorry, it's not that I don't love you I'm just forgetful and the longer I make the list the more likely I am to mind that I've forgotten someone)

Fave artist/band/singer/group your discovered last year (has to be new to you, not new): uhhhhh... I haven't got into their stuff generally, but there's a couple of songs by The Neighborhood and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club that I discovered last year and really love.

One thing you learnt last year that you're taking into 2025: I feel like this is supposed to be something profound, and I can't really think of anything. I learned that I can listen to podcasts if I'm cleaning? I learned a few new ways to motivate a 6yo?

Was it a good year or bad year? Neither really. Good bits and bad bits. Nothing amazing, nothing terrible.

Is there anything superstitious you do to try and continue that vibe or absolutely change it? No not really. I occasionally reblog those stupid luck posts even though they never work for me 😆.

Fave WIP your following into this year: oooh (checks subscriptions)

ITQD by @spoonfulstar

Has got to be up there... There's quite a few I'm hoping get updates though...

Are you doing any January 'get healthy' things? not really.

More random questions~~

Did you consider yourself an avid reader before you found fanfic?  Yes, definitely.

Do you read books as well as fanfic? Yes... Though I admit fanfic is more appealing a lot of the time since I got into Gallavich.

What are you doing to survive this January so far? Reading fic and books. Making sure to go outside at least once a day, preferably in daylight.

Feels weird to tag late but...

@wehangout @blue-disco-lights @callivich @sweetbee78

@mybrainismelted @deedala @suzy-queued @gardenerian

If you wanna play.

[hyeriyearner]

YOURE ALCLINCICAL PSYCHOLOGIST? THATS EVEN AWESOMER

DO YOU HAVE AN INDIA PSYCHOLOGICAL SOCIETY LIKE THE BPS?

ALSO HOW DO YOU GET PLACES TO TAKE YOU ON TO WORK WITH THEM? CAN YOU STILL USE INDEED?

DO YOU HAVE ANY GENERAL ADVICE?

DO YOU USE ALOT OF WHAT YOU'VE LEARNT?

DO YOU WANT A CHIP?

SORRY MY MINDS GONE BLANK BUT THATS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I REALLY WANNA BE A PSYCHOLOGIST WHEN IM OLDER :D)

THANK YOU OMG OK OK OK SO LET'S GO

I WILL SAY I'M SO SORRY IF I GET PREACHY OR SMTH I HAVE A LOT TO SAY

our psych environment in India is pretty fragmented, but without getting into jargon, we have the indian association of clin psychologists, mostly for people who work with clients. then there's like 2 societies who are research and education based. and then we have the rci, where I got my license (comparatively recently), but they are BIG on gatekeeping. there's a lot of bs classifications they have and hoops you need to jump through to be recognised by them. it's bureaucratic bs.

(do your own research about how it is in your country!! i can try and find some resources for you if you'd like me to :])

ill be honest with you, the timing during which I got my bach, psych was such a scarce field in India. BUT (I'm not gonna say too much I don't wanna be doxxed) my uni has Top Tier connections and placements and all which got me my current job. yeah indeed is still used, though linkedin is getting better too - mostly though, my batch and some seniors and juniors got in touch with our professors and they guided us through it. I'm gonna be working here for the next few years bcs my hospital also supports my research and helps me get in touch with people, but I plan on setting up a private practice some day.

one suggestion - internships are GOLD. actual gold. the second you have an opportunity, get into it. I had a year on my peers bcs I grabbed and argued and begged for it before I was technically applicable, and it got me much more security, experience, and so on.

Also, when you're starting off, DON'T try to jump too high. get into thr base level job. gain experience. get a feel for the job. gain intuition. tag along and observe sessions. call your professors and ask when they're available for any advice or doubts.

some more things - my third year of bach, I was convinced that I would quit the program and move to law or something because it was genuinely too much for me. I was uncomfortable, unable to compartmentalize, seeing too much horror and completely forgetting that the goal isn't to be flooded with all the shit that's happening in thw world - it's helping people cope, heal, and live.

you're gonna hear things about the profession being useless. about it being capitalist junk. you're gonna hear people you trust and love and the people you're helping doubt you. it's not gonna be easy. but you're also gonna learn to believe in yourself. you're gonna learn to see the value in yours and others' worst moments.

yes I do use a lot of what I've learnt! you also need to remember that you can learn from EVERYONE. from kids. from elders. you are studying to help people, and so, you need to learn from them, too. there's things that I've never seen in a textbook that I've learnt from my clients and my friends - things which I use so often.

I think I might be forgetting some stuff but honestly ask more questions if you wanna and I'll continue dumping my brains!!!! you're amazing btw I love how enthusiastic you are about this :3 I'll be taking that chip lmao!!!!

[windyskiez]

(First time starting a tag game I'm a bit scared-)

Aight write a message to your moots or list what you think of them.

@creatorbiaze - I love Aeturnus and some of the other games we got to participate in, plus I learnt quite a few things about codes and ciphers.

@s0lace-1n-s0l1tude - Yozo's blog is active thanks to you, and we've bonded a lot during this time thanks to the many fandoms that we're both in. Our interactions on Instagram shows that we know too much about each other, don't we?

@cherubsaliaa - I wanna squish you (/platonic), Yolanda is really fun to mess with. Also, more cat pics for you! :33

@exymylove - My only local/Malaysian moot. Also my SPM is just around the corner and I have like a month *cries*

@lunadademon14 and @multifandomtrash-6 - You two are my oldest moots and I'm grateful you guys are still following me. I'm half dead in the Digimon fandom but whatever.

@the-fallen-collective - It's actually thanks to Hazy that I got to know more about DID, since I've never met or interacted with one irl. I also learnt how a traumagenic system forms and that each alter is unique in their own way.

@lilliablog - You helped revive Dazai's blog from the dead, also you're silly! :3

@teddyandmochi - I'm glad you're back on Tumblr. Remember to take breaks, please don't stress yourself out again!

@mene-morphosis3 - I forgot how we became moots but fun fact, I do learn music too and I also have a violin! We also share quite a number of fandoms tbh.....

+ open tags!