#I still generally consider myself to be a liberal over anything else

[vividxp]

“Bevins has an idea. As both Mayaro Vivian (a leader in MPL) and Fernando Haddad (the once-mayor of São Paulo) both said to Bevins, "there is no such thing as a political vacuum" (263). Organized, violent right-wing forces—comfortable with hierarchy and violence—were willing and able to seize power. Meanwhile left-wing movements and leaders, consumed by horizontalist ideology, were unwilling to take power even when it was offered to them. The tactic of protest—>spectacle—>protest succeeded at mobilizing mass numbers of people, and it succeeded at creating the space for change. But it did not succeed at grasping the moment it had created. In one bizarre but illustrative example, the Brazilian protests became defined by the "Five Cause," issued by the hacker collective Anonymous (139). Except the "hacker collective" in question was just a guy who bought a Guy Fawkes mask, and the causes were just a grab-bag of different ideas he'd found on Facebook (146). Bevins quotes Marx's famous aphorism: "Those who cannot represent themselves will be represented" (143). Meaning can and will be imposed on mass protests no matter how chaotic and contradictory and leaderless they are.”

[vidreview]

VIDREV: "Tim Burton's World of Sadboys" by Infinite Snow Productions

[originally posted april 29 2023]

Not only are you the exact brand of person who Neon Genesis Evangelion is about, you are also the exact brand of person who would completely and confidently miss the point of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

sometimes you come across an essay that says everything you've always wanted to say about a thing but could never quite work out how to fit together all in one place. this is one of my those. like a lot of film-loving millennials who went through an emo phase, Tim Burton holds a very special and deeply complicated place in my heart. the bizarre gothic aesthetics of his worlds brimming over with eccentric freaks captured my imagination as a deeply closeted trans teen who didn't feel normal anywhere [she] went. yes i wanted to be Lydia from Beetlejuice, no i never sat down and questioned what that might say about me personally! some of my earliest childhood memories are of playing with a plastic action figure of Catwoman from Batman Returns. that's not really related to anything, i just wanted to mention accidentally stabbing myself in the hand with one of her ears so hard it drew blood when i was a toddler. so obviously as an aspiring writer with dreams of maybe one day directing movies, Tim Burton felt like the perfect role model for the kind of creator i wanted to be back in 2002.

but as the years went on and Burton revealed himself to be maybe the biggest sellout of his generation, i stopped really thinking about his films and kind of felt embarrassed for having liked them as much as i once did. i think people who grew up with his stuff had this feeling that, like, Edward Scissorhands or whatever was their own personal secret, this little missive from Burton to you that no one else understood, that only you were smart enough to get. but then time happened and suddenly you realized that actually most people liked his stuff, you just didn't get out much. it's sort of like how when you're a teen in 2004 Neon Genesis Evangelion is this niche special interest no one's ever heard of that people would make fun of you for liking if their eyes didn't glaze over halfway through the title, and then you grow up and learn that Eva is the eighth most financially successful anime franchise on planet earth and you're like what

narratively Burton's films are about as socially conservative as you can get while still retaining a veneer of liberal plausible deniability. a couple years ago Maggie Mae Fish did a video dissecting Burton's work that helped clarify a lot of this stuff for me, and ever since then i've been waiting for someone else to pick up that ball and really barrel down into the psychology of the man. don't get me wrong, psychoanalytic media criticism can be dangerous and should only be deployed with excessive caution (and please for the love of god Do Not Quote Freud Jung or Lacan), but Burton's own brand is so surface-level personal and his work far too juiced up with extremely telling themes not to merit at least a little bit of psychoanalysis. i've often idly considered doing it myself, in that "this would make a really good video essay" kind of way when something isn't really in your wheelhouse but maybe would be a fun challenge if you could motivate yourself to care enough, knowing you never will.

enter Tim Burton's World of Sadboys, an essay which does all of this and more. i'm not sure i actually have a whole lot to say about this one, besides that it's everything i hoped it would be from the thumbnail. host Delaney Jordan very succinctly conjures the eternal specter hanging over the Burton oeuvre: that he's one of the vanishingly few directors this century who has had carte blanche to make just about anything he wanted, yet he's consistently chosen to make films about lonely white boys who are sad they can't wear their The Cure t-shirt into the office, and who are honestly quite sick of being unfairly associated with those freaks in the goth scene. the sad truth about Burton that we all had/have to come to terms with is that he's just another boring rich conservative suburbanite, except he wears black and doesn't pay anyone to touch his hair.

this essay does a couple of really smart things structurally. we kick things off with a legendary Orson Welles quote tearing down the scoundrel Woody Allen (read by the hosts of Oddity Roadshow and Critical Bits, the only actual play podcasts i still listen to), a choice that works even if you don't really know anything about Welles or Allen or Burton, and only works better the more you know about them. of course the thumbnail and section titles invoke Evangelion, but you don't really know how this could be relevant until later on when Burton is explicitly framed as a Shinji Ikari type. making that specific historical connection to Welles, within this specific overarching intertextual connection to Evangelion, is just so smart. it's such a galaxy brain framework for an essay and it's why i decided to write up this review.

it works because it gets out of the way. Jordan wastes almost no time hedging bets, making apologies, clarifying asterisks-- i spent most of my time nodding along, delighted for once to be the choir she's preaching to. sometimes i think essayists can let The Point They Want To Make eclipse the simple joy of deconstructing someone else's art. if there's any crime i've committed most as a video essayist myself, it's probably that one. what i appreciate here is, again, Jordan gets it. she gets that it's fun to rubberneck a career like Burton's. he's an easy target that you don't have to feel bad about being kind of mean to, and his work is popular enough that you don't need to waste any time doing recaps. somewhere in the middle i was disappointed to realize she wasn't structurally devoting time to Every Single Film, but by the end i was glad of it. the compulsion to Say Absolutely Everything You Can Possibly Think To Say is strong in the video essayist's heart, and let's be real most of the time that makes for pretty fucking boring essays. maybe it's weird to talk about pacing and flow in the context of a video essay, but here we are. this one just scratches an itch for me with its front to back competence. you can always tell when an essay has been brewing in someone's head for a long time, likely practiced in chunks at parties and social gatherings for years and years until the day of its final refined delivery, and oh how sweet it is when that's an experience you share.

i guess i'll end this on a serious note.

nostalgia has engulfed Hollywood. nothing new can be made because nothing new is a sure bet, so all the big developments in creative tools these days are about composting the culture that already exists. deepfakes, chat-gpt, algorithmic image generation, things of this nature. given this moment in history, i think it's more important than ever that we as adults seriously interrogate the media we're nostalgic for. Disney's place at the center of all this can't be ignored, because it's spent the better part of a century embedding its products into american childhood and thus today has an army of devotees who will defend their frankly kind of mid fairy tale cartoons to the death. Tim Burton, on a much smaller scale, has done precisely the same thing: equating his art with himself, equating loving his art with being on Tim Burton's side rather than simply, you know, enjoying a movie that you saw on tv once. and god, oh dear god, please for heaven's sake let us not even Begin to conversate on the matter of Harry Potter. we live in a moment when the average human person has been so thoroughly dispossessed of any material influence on or connection with the systems and bodies that actually drive civilization, that fiction is the only thing that feels like it belongs to us anymore. it quite demonstrably doesn't, of course, but that's the illusion Disney et al deliberately peddle in order to maintain public acceptance of their monopoly.

given all this, i'll never fail to appreciate an essay that cuts right through the blinders of nostalgia and isn't afraid to dig deep into the core of the issue. i think it's good to be a hater sometimes actually. i think it's good when a critic refuses to humor our culture's simpering deference to corporate robber barons of intellectual property and their endless stable of lazy sellout toadies like Tim Burton. idk man, there's a reason these ghouls want you to love them unconditionally and i really don't think it has anything to do with filling your life with selfless wonder and joy de vivre

anyway it's a good essay with some good laughs, go watch it

[animentality]

Can we all agree that Twitter was the worst social media even before Muskrat bought it?

It's always been demonic. Tumblr and Reddit and Facebook and Instagram might be fucking cringy and harmful in their own special ways, but Twitter is literally where people go to harass celebrities and organize riots.

Twitter's like system is bullshit, its algorithm is random. Even people who are saying something so fucking far removed from the general populace's opinion and morality can blow up and become Twitter famous.

It's so fucking stupid that your entire feed is just fed to you by an algorithm. You could be the most liberal person in the world and still get fucking conservative politicians all over your feed.

At least Reddit is subdivided into subreddits so if you really want to avoid stupid shit, you just don't use r/all. At least Reddit lets you DOWNVOTE people and let them know their opinion is considered shit.

At least on Tumblr you just follow who you want to follow and never have to be subjected to anything you would really hate (for the most part). The chronological algorithm is one of the most freeing things about this place.

Plus you can get your ass obliterated by Tumblr, even though we don't have downvotes.

The reblogging system lets you obliterate the OP's bad opinion in a way that quote retweets never could.

And sure, Tumblr chased off John Green and xkitguy. Tumblr has definitely been the Bad Place before, harassing small artists and creatives and starting truly awful discourses.

But it's NOTHING compared to Twitter harassment like where do you even fucking start?

There are so many celebrities who have gotten harassed on Twitter, to the point where they just had to delete their Twitter or stopped responding to any comments.

There are literally too many to name, I'm not even going to bother. I might argue that every single celebrity has been harassed at least a few times for something dumb!!

Celebrities don't have to name themselves here!

Celebrities are less likely to be harassed on Reddit too.

Twitter is where all the fucking branding and marketing people go because it's like a fucking lottery system, where you never know what'll go viral, but when it does, it goes big.

But the negative side of that is the fact that the WORST FUCKING PEOPLE go viral and extremists become the norm.

And you have yourself a gas echo chamber, where everyone is being poisoned by each other's bad faith discourse.

It is the fucking worst.

Not to mention that their bot problem is worse than any fucking where else.

Russian bots were here too, but more people use Twitter, so the bots there are much more influential.

Also think of this bullshit right?

Twitter is swarming with narcissists. Celebrities, pseudo celebrities, streamers, stock traders, nft bros.

All kinds of people who have to hock their products.

I myself joined Twitter so I could promote my books and try to reach out to literary agents. But there are so many people doing the same shit that you get lost in the white noise of desperate, begging people, who are all trying to make themselves something.

It's fucking sad and depressing.

People on Reddit don't care about being followed. Tumblr hides your follower count from your followers.

I don't know about Facebook because I haven't had one since 2013, but I assume you still have to friend people.

But Twitter is just this out of control mess of narcissists and echo chambers and no matter how rancid your opinion, people will still like it if it goes viral, and no amount of counter points or ratios matter, because in the end, you went viral.

and it's honestly only fucking fitting that Elon Musk bought that vipers' nest.

He's so fuckng egotistical and narcisstic that they go together like peanut butter and jelly.

[vivacissimx]

I genuinely love anything related to ASOIAF world. Still, due to the ongoing drama and harassment I've seen writers experiencing on Tumblr I decided to withdraw myself and protect my peace. Lately, I've been missing it here, but I'm still sceptical about jumping and pursuing writing for the fandom again. Can I ask you how you manage to stay drama-free and have a peaceful blog that I truly enjoy, despite the ongoing situation?

I definitely understand where you are coming from and have been in that position before, where the personalities of the fandom got under my skin. Existing in a community requires a balance that varies from person to person & you alone can know what works for you. What works for me personally is to have a circle, or several circles, of people who enjoy the characters/themes you enjoy. Having people to bitch about fandom with is not this! In my experience, your relationships need to have a positive foundation. And, yknow, these are people who you should show up for when they create things too. You don't have to force yourself to do more than you want to, but engaging with their metas, artwork, fics, headcanons, even just adding a bit in the tags/comments or having an open mind to something you hadn't considered before is a great way to foster good times in fandom! Being positive and generous is the best way to invite positivity and generosity back.

Which is probably the other thing about enjoying fandom-- you should be a creator! When you create and grow and share it'll naturally attract similar energy to you. There are people I've never had a conversation with ever, but they show up in my comments sections sometimes and that alone makes fandom feel like a place where I can connect with other people who nerd out in the same direction as I do. Not only that, but you'll hone a creative skill in ways that surprise and excite you. Learning about writing by writing fic & learning how to read by constructing meta has been hugely rewarding for me. Of course, harassment is a different thing. I have had to moderate my comments or turn off anon at different points. "Don't feed the trolls" is golden advice, in my experience. When they don't get the attention they want, they tend to disappear.

And, because I'm not delusional, I suppose the last thing is to just ignore 99% of the bullshit. It doesn't matter. It'll blow over. It'll start up again. It's a constant cycle. Block liberally. People talk online in ways they never would dare in real life. When you catch yourself getting mad and gearing up to say something, just leave it for 24 hours. Chances are you won't care anymore. That's not me saying to tolerate bullshit, but engage with fandom on your terms and not because you feel cornered by someone else's ridiculous opinion. If I'm really incensed by someone's hot take I will open a new text post and try to formulate a meta about the process of how I came to my (diametrically opposite) conclusion. That's way more productive/effective than engaging in discourse, I've found. On the flip side, if you catch yourself in a weird situation with someone you consider a friend and you're starting to resent them: communicate, communicate, communicate. I can't stress it enough. Don't let things fester to the point that it's tainting your relationship to something you love or someone you care about. There is no relationship on Earth without it's disagreements and it's equally as toxic to try and create total uniformity as it is to constantly argue with people.

That's pretty much how I find my balance. I still take steps back from fandom when I need to or when I'm not having fun, and that's healthy. Hobbies in general should happen at your capacity, on your schedule. Now your balance will be different than mine, most likely, but I hope there's something here you can use regardless!

[glitchy-haha]

I don't even understand why there's shipping discourse in the first place honestly like- what. Just let people live? I really don't care about ships as long as it's not problematic do what you want I'm not ur mom but it's true sometimes I'm scared to say what ship I like cuz I fear I'm gonna get doxxed and killed in my sleep. Especially when there are other things to talk about like whitewashing or really bad mischaracterisation and all that stuff

Anyways sorry for yapping but ur so right and guys. Don't harass people because of a ship do you know how stupid you sound😭 just let people be happy

I think the main reason as to why shipping discourse is more talked about than anything else is because of the "Proshipper vs Antishipper" thing. Basically politics and meaningless labels in fandom form.

One of the problems I have with this entire discourse is because of the fact no one can really agree on what these terms actually mean.

Proship (Or Anti-Anti) can either mean you ship things that are consider problematic (changed meaning), or you are against the harrassment over shipping and fiction and general (somewhat the orignal meaning). (Note that some who are the latter can still and will harrass you despite this stance.)

Antiship can either mean you are simply against the shipping of certain ships or shipping general (somewhat the original meaning + doesn't not mean you are okay with harassment), or you are a "puritian" who harrasses others over shipping and fiction and/or completely okay with such things (changed meaning).

It really depends on who you ask. Like, really.

Not to mention that this entire discouse really just caused unnessecary division within fandom spaces.

"Proshipper" and "Antishipper" are quite literally just labels that get slapped onto people with opposing opinions. It's fucking political parties all over again 😭

Not to mention all the other terms. "Comshiper, Lightshipper, Darkshipper, Neutralshipper" All. Just. Labels. Fuck, this shit is literally a spectrum. You got the proshippers who are against harrassment and just want to consume media in peace, and then you got the ones who will literally go AGAINST their stance just because you said "Ew" to their weird ass fic or some shit. Then you got the antishippers who are simply just against certains ships and doesn't harass anyone let alone condone it (This people get equated with proshippers (BY PROSHIPPERS) despite clearly not being on their side if they gon call themselves antishippers that's like telling a conversative that their actually a liberal because they share ONE liberal belief despite all their other conversative beliefs) and then you got the antishippers who can and WILL harrass you over a ship they didn't like (there is literally nothing wrong with the ship they just hate it)

I personally see myself on more of the antishipper side of the discourse (As in I am against the shipping of certain ships, specifically ships that are insanely problematic. Not shipping in general tho.) but honestly?

There's more important shit to worry about. In fact, would rather jump in a hole and bury myself deep inside it than touch this "Proshipper vs Antishipper" shit with a 10 ft pole ever again.

[punkscowardschampions]

Tancy pt.2

Teddy: Was [the alcohol] your only offering?

Nancy: [take a minute here to respond because you know, hot tub, but you’ll still end up on your phone because you’re bored and you’re probably planning to take blackmail photos of people as is your MO]

Nancy: Wow, you ungrateful bitch!

Nancy: but no, as it happens

Teddy: What else did you bring me?

Nancy: I’m going to have to order you a doll now

Nancy: now I know

Teddy: I have one, she’s under my bed, naturally

Teddy: [send her a link to whatever sex doll you may or may not be joking you have]

Nancy: well I fear she may be liberated before the night is through

Nancy: 💔

Teddy: The end of an era

Nancy: You’ll make me cry, this [whatever drug it is you’re claiming, you may be chatting shit] is extra weepy

Teddy: I don’t recommend [whatever he’s waiting to kick in] as a suitable alternative, it’ll be my next birthday by the time I feel anything

Nancy: You still have [the drugs he asked for]

Teddy: True, but I don’t have you

Nancy: You’ll come up, darling

Teddy: The roof is as high as it gets, unfortunately

Nancy: No stars in London

Teddy: I’ll spend the summer in [somewhere I won’t commit myself to, but where he could see stars obvs]

Nancy: Where are you really going?

Teddy: My father’s non home offices, if he gets his way

Nancy: ALL summer? Has he lost his mind too?

Teddy: Practically, I’m sure I could beg for a measly week joining the family in [wherever they have a holiday home] but as you know, I don’t do that

Nancy: Hm, how ghastly

Nancy: I’ll be [wherever the fam is going] unless I get a better offer before then

Teddy: [recommend some y’all fun things for her to do if she ends up in said place, whether that’s word of mouth goss from people or you’ve been]

Nancy: You’re such a sweetie

Teddy: It’s nothing if not on theme 🧁🍰🎂

Nancy: Are you happy with how the party turned out?

Teddy: [send her the dad blackmail nudes as a yes so you don’t have to give a real answer]

Nancy: That makes me feel terrible about myself, ugh

Teddy: Don’t be absurd 

Nancy: How did your sister do it, did she have an ED?

Teddy: I assume so, she’s the most type A person I’ve ever met

Nancy: Diet coke and vodka only for me from now on

Nancy: no [whatever drink you got him and he compared you to]

Teddy: You don’t want any more cake? How sad, we’re yet to do candles

Nancy: It’s very sad being a girl

Teddy: Chlo accused me of being one, it was rather amusing

Teddy: [send her that bit of convo]

Nancy: Ha

Nancy: so devastated I can’t confirm it myself

Teddy: Imagine her as a mother to a son, my poor children are going to require such intensive therapy

Nancy: You’ll meanwhile be thrilled to have someone more fucked up than you 

Teddy: Excuse you, I’m the well-adjusted child, no rehab or incest fantasies to my name

Nancy: Not yet and lies

Teddy: Your jealousy will turn you uglier than cake, darling

Nancy: You can be a delusional twink for a few more years, live it up

Teddy: How generous, thank you, Nance

Teddy: your blessing, of course, means the world to me

Nancy: Shut up, you’re an idiot

Teddy: Your blood sugar is low, you’re talking nonsense

Nancy: There’s nothing adjusted about you

Teddy: Put your corset back on, I prefer you deprived of oxygen

Nancy: You prefer [this gay boy] on his knees, everyone knows, sweetie

Teddy: Oh now I understand, you’re sulking

Nancy: soaking, thank you

Teddy: No need to thank me, though yes, you were

Nancy: [send a picture of this hot tub which is probably a health hazard full of bodies at this point like no silly]

Teddy: You’re very red, you may want to get out

Nancy: Don’t neg me

Teddy: You are, I’m merely pointing out what everyone else can see

Nancy: If Chlo wants a solid cover, she can say you invited her over for a dip

Nancy: is that true, do you think?

Teddy: I don’t tend to consider what she wants

Nancy: You’re selfish, I know

Teddy: Too many eyes on you are making you paranoid

Nancy: No, I love it

Teddy: I’ll leave you to your adoring public then

Nancy: says you, Mr let the street see

Teddy: You’re welcome, by the way

Nancy: Don’t act like that had anything to do with me

Teddy: The act had everything to do with you

Nancy: He has a dick

Teddy: Which was irrelevant, he didn’t put it anywhere

Nancy: That’s still awful and insulting of you to say

Teddy: It isn’t Chlo who desires a solid cover, I gave you one

Nancy: I’m perfectly capable of creating my own and did but sure

Nancy: Thanks a lot, Teddy

Teddy: In which case, you’ve got 0 business being upset with me

Nancy: Your ego said I was upset, so you started calling me ugly

Teddy: I would never call you ugly

Nancy: I don’t care who you fuck, Chlo, [this boy], anyone

Teddy: Okay, good, that spares us an awkward & tedious conversation

Teddy: the likes of which I already had with my bride before she fled

Nancy: That’s entirely her fault for thinking you’re good enough to be a boyfriend

Teddy: For the record, I could care less who you fuck either, unless you persist on your fool’s errand to turn my brother into your next boyfriend

Nancy: Good, even that is none of your concern

Teddy: I have 0 cause for concern, he doesn’t want you

Nancy: Not right now

Teddy: Not ever, apparently

Nancy: I imagine he’ll feel a little different when my parents are looking to press charges and your family implodes from your little scheme

Teddy: About Ava perhaps, he doesn’t feel anything for you beyond his sobriety crusade

Nancy: Ava will be far away finishing her A-levels in some girl’s boarding school for her own safety

Teddy: She’ll be finishing them at the school he knows well, your parents couldn’t get your brother off your cousin, I highly doubt they’ll step up to save her

Nancy: She’s the favourite, as well as the actually well-adjusted child, don’t underestimate how preferential her treatment is

Teddy: The point is, your parents won’t even view what she’s doing as a fall from grace, J isn’t a blood relation, she’s doing fantastic for herself

Nancy: How little you know

Teddy: How little I care for your family squabbles

Nancy: How little I care what you think, I’ll continue to do what I like

Teddy: As you should

Nancy: So we’re done here then

Teddy: If you like

Nancy: Why would I want to stay

Teddy: Countless reasons, a hot tub full, it would appear

Nancy: I have to get out, I’m so red and disgusting

Teddy: I said red

Nancy: and I know what you meant

Teddy: Where’s the fun in passing out without me? None of them will take care of you

Nancy: You slapped me

Teddy: I remember

Nancy: [a person, god knows who] had to be pulled out ages ago

Teddy: I’ll come down there and pull you out in a moment if I have to

Nancy: Don’t you dare touch me

Teddy: Everyone will talk & you’ll be REALLY upset

Nancy: [a dramatic and wobbly POV of you getting out of this hot tub like THERE]

Teddy: Good girl

Nancy: You expect me to just melt, don’t you

Teddy: Not now you’re out of the hot tub

Nancy: Not the dad jokes

Teddy: Ha ha

Nancy: it’s a good thing you’re pretty

Teddy: [ignoring her, posting that he’s finally gone to the present table and is bothering to open these, doing it like this to shame anyone who didn’t serve & even worse the people who didn’t bring anything at all because everyone can see what he got]

Nancy: [very French king of you, at least we can watch this and be nosey, as is our love, just reacting according with the emojis when we approve or disapprove]

Teddy: The existence of yours was a lie, they aren’t here

Nancy: Only the bottle, which I told you, was gonna be long gone

Nancy: like I’m going to be caught giving you anything more

Teddy: You told me you did

Nancy: Are you asking for your other presents now?

Teddy: Are they real or imaginary? 

Nancy: Why would I lie, that would be so strange

Teddy: Why would you hide them from me? 

Nancy: To keep them safe, silly boy

Teddy: Where?

Nancy: My bag

Teddy: & which one is yours?

Nancy: I have it

Nancy: you’ll have to decide to start being nice again if you want it

Teddy: [not you just looking everywhere for her instead and when you find her, wherever she may be, holding your hands out like an expectant child]

Nancy: [pulling a face at him like ew, stop that and holding your bag to you tight like he is a mugger]

Teddy: [never have the words ‘hand it over’ been SO charged with tension, excuse him everybody]

Nancy: [this is giving roleplay right now lmao, like okay performance, also there’s no privacy in the basement where you probably still were it’s just one room with a bathroom or the sauna and you can’t be pulling him into either without looking a type of way, so pushing to make room on this sofa next to you so you’re at least not causing a complete scene on this day ‘sit down’ with the same drama]

Teddy: [‘no’ as petulantly as she was being earlier, because we genuinely don’t want to be in the basement, the scene of her crimes lol, we just want our gifts ‘just give them to me’]

Nancy: [getting up so offended like how dare you reject my offer and also be so rude about this ‘why the fuck should I?’ with a laugh of disbelief]

Teddy: [‘Because you don’t want me to hurt you, you’re SUCH a baby about it’ not you referring to earlier in front of people, oooh]

Nancy: [at least you can, however predictably, return the favour and slap him before using the basement’s front door and getting out onto the street like a drunken cliche]

Teddy: [laugh because you love it and she raided the jewellery so she’s probably still ringed up too thanks to your mother’s stash and you can have a matching cut which you touch before following her like an even bigger cliche, literally pull her back like stop, because there’s nobody from this party on the street when they’re allowed to smoke and do whatever else they want inside, and you can, not that you’d care in this moment if there were]

Nancy: [not you running off with god knows how much worth of his mother’s things lol, I don’t even know what you’ll be wearing at this point because you wouldn’t have had anything but your underwear on in the sauna then hot tub but presumably you’ve found something to put on since then to be breaking out onto this street in but who can say, the way you’d be gagged if you saw him not follow his girlfriend earlier haha but I suppose y’all can pretend it’s about the jewellery and stick to that, TURNING back with your hand raised like you’re going to go for a second round but you’re distracted by the fact he’s got a cut too, taking a step towards him]

Teddy: [either she’s in white lingerie which is potentially wet and thus see through or she’s in that and his mother’s stolen fur coat so add that to the millions she’s running away with lol, either way, both iconic, GRABBING her wrist like you would if you were stopping her from slapping you a 2nd time even though she has not, squeezing it hard enough to hurt as you pull her closer towards you]

Nancy: [it’s giving escort truly, not that you’re giving it another thought, or a thought to begin with, here opening your mouth but stopping yourself from making a noise, jutting your chin out and closing what’s left of the gap between y’all ‘I am NOT a baby’ because so offended you would say that in front of people, scratching your nails on the cheek that’s already red and scratched from the rings, just to prove a point]

Teddy: [‘yes you are’ because we ALL remember when he said she’s not my baby, you are, and he’s saying it again now, no fucks given, pushing her into the nearest wall with his body like a cliche, we can pretend it’s because there’s a less obvious view if anyone from this party is peeping but he hasn’t given an actual thought to that he just wanted to do it] 

Nancy: [letting out a pant when your body makes contact with the bricks, pushing back into his body with intention, doing a little groan, blinking up at him, pausing for half a second, ‘fine, you can have your gifts’ reaching to open your bag and find them out]

Teddy: [not you taking this bag and dropping it your feet in the BIGGEST in a minute gesture of all time because you don’t even want those gifts rn, we ALL know what he actually wants, not at all caring if the entire contents of said bag falls all over the street, only caring that he’s pushing her into the wall even harder and is again licking her face where her cut is but so much more dramatically than he did earlier, highkey mouthing at it and basically biting her face like he did when they were doing their OG feral antics ‘let me have you’]

Nancy: [not even looking down even though it’s your bag and your things, can only launch yourself at him face first, copying what he’s doing on you as perfectly as you can when you’re not thinking at all and just being guided by what you want, pulling him into you repeatedly, crashing his hips against yours to punctuate the ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ sounding equal parts angry and like you never want to stop]

Teddy: [me like I hope she does also have that fur coat on because he is RIPPING that lingerie in a way that she simply could not then walk away and not get arrested for indecent exposure, tearing the entire crotch out and then at his clothes to be fucking her against this wall as ferally as anyone has ever ‘you’re going to love me’ likewise punctuated by these antics and sounding as insistent]

Nancy: [we’ll be kind and say you do because it’s also a mood so have it lads, likewise a mood he’s ruined your lingerie and you’re making that clear with how willingly you’re exposing yourself, not really knowing if the fur coat/his body means that he’s definitely the only one who can see because right now you do not care at all, doing the most to make sure he’s fucking you as deeply as is physically possible for both your sake’s, moaning his name with the same kind of exposed energy]

Teddy: [me like I’m glad for her ridiculous wig because it will cushion her head from these bricks when he is literally slamming her against them with how hard he’s going at this rn, at least until this boy PULLS it off with how he’s kissing her and we’re likewise letting that disappear with no thought at all as if it wasn’t a very expensive rental, IMMEDIATELY all up in her real hair because he’s missed it so much]

Nancy: [my boo says until it ain’t, unlucky bitch, lord knows you didn’t stop him choking you out, you aren’t gonna stop from risk of concussion here and now, being so frenzied about all of this, including asking ‘how does my pussy feel this time?’ because REMEMBERING the first hookup when]

Teddy: [every time he tries to give her an actual answer just MOANING because that good, is he embarrassed about the fact he cannot speak, no, is he even redder than her in that hot tub rn from how feral this all is, yes]

Nancy: [kissing him like you intend to deprive him of all oxygen and only leave room for your tongue in his mouth, holding his red face in your hands and SQUEEZING his cheeks tighter and tighter ‘you’ve made it yours’ as something you’re breathing into him, forehead pushing against his so your head is being rattled off this wall yet again when he invariably pushes you back]

Teddy: [LOVES to see his blood running down her hand from the way she’s squeezed his cheeks and made that tiny cut worse, can only let that be known by the insane EYE CONTACT he’s giving as his gaze goes from her hand to her eyes, panting ‘you give the best gifts’ because this is the real one rn regardless of whatever she has also got for his bday]

Nancy: [making a handprint right across your heart that is making your whole chest bang visibly, immediately attempting to get enough blood to do the same to him because you gotta ‘only the best for my boy’ casual words but there is nothing casual about how they’re being said in the slightest, planting your hand firmly on his chest to the point you’re pushing him a little too far away and you have to whimper like no]

Teddy: [catch him coming back SO dramatically that it was as if that push lasted a thousand years and sent him half way across the street, thrusting into her so hard that they can both hear her head hit the wall and it’s such a sickening kind of knock that he should be worried and not into it but we know it’s the latter, cradling her head then and kissing it so dramatically, literally combing through her hair with his fingers to see if she’s bleeding but has he stopped any of these feral antics, no]

Nancy: [when it’s hard to tell if you’re moaning or crying because the answer is both, at the same time and at an indecently loud level on both counts, shaking with the shock of how it felt and clutching at him ‘make it feel better’ repeated over and over with sincerity and undeniable !!]

Teddy: [doing the absolute MOST to make her forget all about it because at the point he couldn’t even stop if he wanted to, which he does not, could not be holding her tighter to stop her from shaking, wrapping this fur coat around her as much as he possibly can without it interfering with the absolutely unhinged rhythm they are in, continuing to kiss her head and face absolutely everywhere indiscriminately and absolutely indecently]

Nancy: [‘you’ll be such a good daddy to your babies’ snuggling your face into the softness of this coat and looking up at him as if there’s anything coy about this entire display]

Teddy: [‘hers aren’t mine’ just letting her know that she’s his only baby, soz not soz Chlo, imagine if this scheme actually went ahead, things would be wild in these streets]

Nancy: [thank the lord she runs and finds her mans because the drama no one but y’all needs truly, ‘I am’ smiling at him so pleased with ourself and with you in this moment]

Teddy: [doing the kind of unhinged close proximity nod that means his entire face is rubbing against hers because the heart eyes are FULL force and we need to break them up slightly]

Nancy: [just nuzzling each other like cats, nbd ‘I need cum’ like I need to cum and I need you to cum because feels ridiculous that you have not at this point]

Teddy: [‘you need to’ ordering her to like he’s such a gentleman he couldn’t possibly go first, he wouldn’t dream of it, when we all know he doesn’t usually give a shit about these things]

Nancy: [‘touch me like you do’ throwing out your own demand because you can and you know that’s about all it will take]

Teddy: [ofc he is ‘cum for me, please’ throwing a please out exactly like she did earlier when they both refused to before, we love to see it, no plea just as if he’s being polite with his demand in contrast to his utterly feral actions]

Nancy: [when you’ve slammed yourself onto him as roughly as you can, holding him still by his hips and not letting him pull out an inch whilst you spasm around him, maintaining eye contact until you physically cannot to kill you even more because you can’t handle it]

Teddy: [he won’t be able to handle it either so he’ll be following right after her and basically collapsing against this wall which will crush her to it with his dead weight for a second because DEAD, it’s only when he literally kicks her bag as he’s getting himself up that he even remembers these presents he so wanted even exist, looking but he cannot bend down to pick them up yet cos SO out of breath, I hope she didn’t get him anything fragile]

Nancy: [use the wall to keep you upright kids, it’s a must with how gone you both are, looking too and doing a small smirk ‘I promised you could have them now’ like don’t worry, I won’t take them away before you can, then looking down at yourself to assess the actual indecent mess you are out on the street like this, doing a sharp intake of breath like well damn]

Teddy: [instead first finding her cigarettes and lighter and going through that whole rigmarole of lighting up, like a cliche and his own version of well damn, when you’re literally shaking because of how dramatically you just came, this cigarette literally bobbing about between his lips as he takes the first drag of it before passing it to her, only then finally finding and opening these presents (so you’ll have to tell me what they are hehe), the absolute carnage of unwrapping them because he’s still shaky and also always chaotic so he’d be tearing into them anyway as hardcore as that lingerie lbr]

Nancy: [my boo demands to know her damn self lmao, okay, so obviously you are limited to bag size because are we trying to carry around a damn sack this whole party, nay nay, so we know the drugs are in there that you wanted, then I’m thinking a spenny bracelet because he clearly does not have as many/any because my boo doesn’t mention then and it’s giving possessive it’s giving handcuffs etc like it could look like literal handcuffs idk and that’s the main thing you’ve actually put thought into and then as for the other you’re being peak unhinged and giving him your underwear from the first time you messed around but did not hook up which is a whole month ago at this point, you being self-assured he’s gonna remember for me]

Teddy: [we been knew that I’ve been nosy every day of my life and you haven’t disappointed me boo, ask me why this boy never wears bracelets, I couldn’t tell you, the only time I remember him doing it is when he did an ad, so I LOVE this gift and the intimacy of you making her put it on you, it’s giving when he put his arms out and demanded this gifts in the first place except not at all, oh girls of course he remembers, grinning at her and then looking down at her like ‘I’ll be nice and let you borrow them, if you’re coming back inside’ because she’s so close to the baze gaff she could walk home easily instead but we’re making it clear we don’t want her to leave until the bitter end of this party, stealing the cig back and taking another drag because these gifts are really something and he doesn’t know what to say]

Nancy: [you aren’t good at things like this either and would’ve been debating the inclusion of the bracelet the entire time, hence it was not put on the table, your other valid reasons aside, so we’re fine with just focusing on what’s easy to in this moment ie the state of you and how we ended up here, rolling our eyes affectionately like oh please ‘you mean you want me to’ because chance to add more memories to the garment/gift, sliding out of the ones you are barely wearing because they are fucked and holding out your hand like okay]

Teddy: [you’ll see him wearing this bracelet every day now for the rest of his life so it’s FINE you’ll know he likes it, but in the here and now ‘I’m torn, actually, much like these’ as he reaches to touch them/pick them up from the cold hard ground instead of handing the new ones over because adding to the mems is tempting but so is knowing she’s even more naked at this function and why, getting distracted when his wrist catches the light whether that’s street, moon or security, and LOOKING at this bracelet with heart eyes, THINKING about the gesture of her giving him this because he gave her his mum’s necklace so they’ve exchanged jewellery now that’s so romantic] 

Nancy: [it's very romantic and neither of you is acknowledging it verbally but we all know it, trying not to THINK about it too much for all the reasons but you can’t stop yourself from it when he’s stood in front of you being so blatant and about it, distracting yourself however futilely by shakily doing up this coat if it has fastenings/holding it around yourself properly so you don’t flash everyone immediately because you’re game obviously ‘I’ll go first’ because hardly safe for you to stay out here in this state/at any time in comparison to him, lingering though and not just walking to and in the front door]

Teddy: [pulling her back, even though she hasn’t left yet, much like how he did when they first got out here but gentler, pulling her into him and fully picking her up as if he’s gonna carry her inside, no fucks given in that moment to her flashing anyone ‘don’t leave yet’ because he simply doesn’t want her to]

Nancy: [letting yourself be pulled back, into him and picked up without any hesitation because you don’t want to leave him either, cuddling around his neck and kissing his face better ‘yours needs cleaning too, remember’ like it’s very important but you just want your TCP revenge]

Teddy: [making a face like he’s HORRIFIED at the prospect lol because shan’t be brave either thank you ‘it’ll hurt’ hiding against her and this giant coat like no no but then remembering her head and lifting his back up ‘oh, speaking of, how many fingers am I holding up’ obvs doing however many he touched her with when she asked him to]

Nancy: [laughing ‘I couldn’t do that before’ because whether we’re talking about being intoxicated or dyslexic both are true and we can’t be bothered to care about this potentially dangerous injury, the kind of life we’re living ‘though the fact you’re trying to murder me hasn’t gone unnoticed’ licking these fingers playfully as you make EYE CONTACT like I’m watching you]

Teddy: [doing his own laugh at both these things because she does amuse him, kissing the top of her head like she’s a little girl like oh you, maintaining this EYE CONTACT as he finds the drugs she gave him and gives her her share, I think they were pills (?), so do it with a kiss ‘there, there, take your medicine’ like that’ll make her feel better instead of potentially worse if she did have a head injury]

Nancy: [yep they are pills so get to popping and pull him back in for a makeout because there’s always time before they kick in and you just have to ‘could go visit Chlo’ like lol imagine]

Teddy: [‘you, me or us as a we, together’ because all of those possibilities are hilarious tbh, each word in between a kiss just because he can and will ‘when will you talk to her?’ as a more genuine question though which isn’t punctuated by smooches, love that he hasn’t put her down and is still very much holding her]

Nancy: [‘you said I wanted to see her’ pushing his shoulder away so you’re LOOKING at each other because thanks for that one but also he did so it’s a valid excuse, shrugging a shoulder ‘I could go right now, cry about it all with her’]

Teddy: [‘Because I wanted to get her here’ as if Chlo is so obsessed with Nancy that it’s all it would take cos lowkey where’s the lie you wanna be her so bad sis ‘and you’ll have come up by the time you get there’ like you won’t be in the mood to cry y’all will be buzzing when this hits but he’s holding her tighter like excuse you stop trying to leave me]

Nancy: [when you’d already forgotten about taking that and you’re like whoops ‘okay, okay, not right now’ snuggling your head into the side of his neck like I’m not leaving ‘I just want to help you’]

Teddy: [stroking her hair v softly, we can pretend it was tickling him and he’s just moving it but no ‘I’ll need ALL your help to breed with her’ when you keep saying it because so true ‘who did you fuck?’ because even if he’s heard he wants to hear it from her, said so casually and conversationally with no accusation or jealousy or anything, you wouldn’t even know they’d argued about it]

Nancy: [at least we’re receptive to it now we’re not mad at you ‘she won’t mind that I’m there’ said so confidently, which, in theory, if she’s fucking him to get pregnant, she can hardly tell the world you are lol so go off lads ‘maybe we can go together’ actually considering this even though you should not, until he asks his question and you’re hopping down because even if he’s asking nicely you’re still like ugh ‘why?’]

Teddy: [‘she would, however, try and talk you into a pregnancy pact’ we see you putting the idea out there and into this girl’s head of her also being pregnant with your child while shading Chlo, picking her back up again purely to be petty because you only want to put her down when you want to, giving her a lil shake but playfully ‘I’m curious’ again very Alice and very catlike, we love to see it]

Nancy: [my boo says I see you, boy, don’t think I don’t lol, still at this point in time we will merely laugh like oh God imagine because no desire to be a mother and stop doing what we want when we want all the time, blowing out a sigh when he picks you up but it’s half-affectionate, messing up his hair like oh you ‘you want to know if you’ve slept with them too, I know’ because he is that boy and has been so we aren’t surprised nor offended, hence name these two guys you got in the middle of, lack of a better term]

Teddy: [‘& predictably I have’ because why not say he did, he lowkey has slutted around everyone at this party ‘how was it for you?’ giving nothing away about how it was for him, only fishing because jemily know that their hook ups were unfulfilling so obvs he can’t help thinking about how his was, especially now that he has that insane hookup of tancy’s to compare it with] 

Nancy: [doing a fake yawn because yes, so predictable, then raising your brows like oops, that wasn’t my review but shrugging because yeah, actually, stand by it ‘enough to keep me busy but nothing to go back for’]

Teddy: [a nod because same ‘it’s a good thing he’s pretty’ not you deliberately using the exact same words she did @ you for the boy you hooked up with like yeah he’s beautiful but otherwise giving nothing]

Nancy: [‘that’s always described the guest list’ because nothing changes and you end up finding everyone disappointing and boring in the end, patting his shoulder sympathetically ‘I’m dating someone’s dad next’]

Teddy: [‘truly’ because he couldn’t agree more, he’s only just today turned 16 and he’s already so bored by everyone ‘I’m dating Seb, I promised Gia’ because you said you were gonna snatch him]

Nancy: [looking at him like that’s a new one ‘kinda mean to save her from her loveless marriage but trap your brother in his’ like pick a lane lol]

Teddy: [getting your phone out and giving her that convo to read just for fun, with no thought or fucks given to if he said anything that he might not want Nancy to read]

Nancy: [I just skimmed and it’s mostly family drama/Teddy being a very unbelievable victim lol, the only bit that isn’t going to be like well let’s not discuss that is him saying his girlfriend would marry him, hence showing him that bit like oh, is THAT the plan now lmao]

Teddy: [it’s him genuinely and without being a bitch, being like ‘oh sorry, should I read it to you?’ as she’s reading because dyslexic and he doesn’t know if she can, for me, but when she gets to that bit and shows him, shrugging ‘I said she would & she would, if I asked’ because genuinely believes he could make this girl do anything and tbh where’s the lie so far]

Nancy: [‘how do you think we message? I’m not illiterate, arsehole’ because however much of a dick he’s not being it still pisses us off, scoffing ‘why’d you think your sister would care?’ like that’s the bit we’re questioning here]

Teddy: [‘perhaps you require different phone settings on yours or something, I don’t know, do I?’ because valid ‘she was calling me unweddable, I refuted it, that’s all’] 

Nancy: [get down again because bad vibes ‘you’re bringing me down when we’re meant to be going up, come on’ like we need to go find music because these drugs will be wasted if we start arguing instead]

Teddy: [let her this time even if you’re making an OTT noise like ugh FINE because offended she’s claiming you’re bringing bad vibes when you were trying to be supportive about her horrific disability for once ‘you go first’ an echo of what she said]

Nancy: [when reading all that has made you feel a type of way and you shouldn’t have but you’re nosey and we related, you simply had to, turning and not looking back as you wave behind you ‘safe travels’]

Teddy: [scoff at her and call ‘what’s that, irish folklore?’ at her as she walks away because any excuse to drag her poor roots always]

Nancy: It means find someone else to dance with, okay

Teddy: I wasn’t going to ask you, you don’t wish to be seen with me unless you’re slapping my face

Nancy: I’ve danced with you before

Teddy: & on that occasion your boyfriend hit me

Nancy: because you asked him to

Teddy: It wasn’t my fault

Nancy: Fine, blame me, just forget it

Teddy: I’ll do my best to forget your rejection

Nancy: Teddy, don’t

Teddy: Always a pleasure, Nancy

Nancy: You just sounded like such a child and it reminded me that you are

Nancy: I’m not rejecting you I’m just backing off

Teddy: They’re both the same thing

Nancy: I mean you haven’t done anything to be rejected

Teddy: The end result doesn’t change, darling, let’s not kid ourselves

Teddy: oops, that word must be triggering for you

Nancy: I hope you can make the best of your high

Teddy: How grown up of you, thanks

Nancy: I’m serious, a bad time on this shit is hellish and I feel it starting

Teddy: Well, if I need a babysitter I won’t ask you either

Nancy: I’m sorry, don’t come in [whatever bathroom you are hiding in because you feel like shit]

Teddy: Of course now I’m going to

Teddy: [come and find her because even though she upset you, you really do care, pick her up off this bathroom floor or whatever and cradle her like she’s a child]

Nancy: [me like thank god you were evidently blocking the door so there aren’t other people in here because you are just opening the floodgates like you’ve been given truth serum in a totally unfiltered way, telling him why you’re a bad person for all of this but also all the other reasons you’re a bad person, just an absolute laundry list]

Teddy: [love that you would’ve had to bust in this door dramatically because she was blocking it, don’t hurt her again please, just shhing her and stroking her back and hair and everywhere else you think might be comforting like she’s a baby or a pet, doing little kisses and calling her darling over and over in the softest voice you have ever used as you tell her it’s okay and literally everything you like about her in the same kind of word vomit that you aren’t even thinking about filtering you just want her to feel better]

Nancy: [and thank god you’re both on it and these things never last long, so when it’s all over you can just pretend it never happened lol lol lol, moving onto telling him why you’re sorry in what would be in other circumstances hilarious detail, like I’m sorry for when I and listing every unhinged thing y’all have done thus far like girl, shh]

Teddy: [‘baby, you just hit your head’ like that’s the only reason this is occurring and none of it is either of their faults because that’s the narrative we’re going with and nobody can stop us]

Nancy: [‘punishment’ so seriously, biting your lip a little too hard how people be on the drugs, as if God himself smacked your head into that wall for fucking this boy]

Teddy: [‘you’re a good girl’ as seriously like no I will accept no alternatives at this time, SO gently pulling her lip from out of her teeth with his own and kissing it better like his life depends on it]

Nancy: [kissing him back softly like you’re unsure but you’re doing a happy sigh, vibrating it against his lips and giggling about the sensation ‘it feels so-’ shaking your head dreamily as you’re STARING at his face with your big saucer eyes and trying to think of the word]

Teddy: [‘good too, I know’ because you’re in no state yourself to think of another or better word, holding her face gently in both his hands]

Nancy: [nodding, carrying it on just that shade too long like calm down ‘good, are we good?’ tracing the word on his forehead and his chin and then each cheek, booping his nose like a full stop]

Teddy: [regardless of whether or not being ticklish was a lie, he’s laughing in this moment, likewise a bit too much, lying down on this bathroom floor fully and pulling her into him like they’re a couple in a bed lying side by side] 

Nancy: [‘this is nice’ when this would sound so sarcastic if you weren’t high but you are so it isn’t, snuggling him like there we go, moment complete ‘it’s your birthday now, isn’t it’ because remembering somewhere in the back of your mind that he wanted to take these pills the time he was actually born, humming happy birthday into the skin on his bicep you’re lying on]

Teddy: [‘what time is it?’ dreamily because you have no idea not as a genuine question you’re expecting her to answer but for all you know your bday is over ‘happy birthday to me’ regardless, as something which would likewise sound and be said sarcastically if they weren’t high]

Nancy: [saying the date like that is your birthday, because lord knows you can’t find out the time right now, even though all either of you would have to do is look at your phone, it isn’t gonna register ‘you said I get the best gifts’ beaming here like that was so nice of you]

Teddy: [waving this bracelet around in front of his eyes in that high mesmerised by it manner because he was when he was sober tbh, he loves it ‘this is really’ whether you’re saying it like you mean it’s the best or you just can’t think of a word, irrelevant]

Nancy: [watching it too and going to paw at it, like babies do with their baby gyms or cats with their toys, doing another happy sigh ‘you’re really’ like y’all are speaking in full sentences and you know EXACTLY what he meant ‘cos on the same wavelength]

Teddy: [‘I love everything’ because he do, her, this gift, the moment, all of it, no notes]

Nancy: [‘happy for you, happy for me’ because you really and truly cared about making his birthday better and in general making him happier when you know he ain’t and no one else cares but all of that is too much for you to be able to verbalise in this state so stick with that and give him another really gentle kiss]

Teddy: [have a clumsy but soft makeout sesh about it for a while because what are words when you feel so many things]

Nancy: [when I know you’re probably saying you love him which is risky business because when will this wear off and will you remember, will you pretend you don’t even if you do, lord knows you can’t be held responsible but I’m still like omg]

Teddy: [it’s fine he’d say it back as an ILY too so you’re both equally guilty here, god bless]

Nancy: [winnie says guilty as sin x but at least people will be banging this door to get in as it’s a bathroom and that can be a trigger to bring you down, scowling at the door like excuse me, how very rude as you’re struggling to sit up]

Teddy: [obvs doing his usual and telling these people to go away because it’s his house he can, sounding like you do when you get woken up and are cross about it, literally pulling SUCH a pouty face as if these peeps can see it and will be like oh soz]

Nancy: [y’all are cracking me up, people wanna piss/have bathroom sex/do their own drugs and you’re like wow, whilst we slumber? Shocking behavior, literally shouting ‘no housekeeping’ because you live in a hotel and are clearly a rude bitch lmao]

Teddy: [absolutely iconic from her ‘do slide your drugs under the door though’ as if they will just because it’s your birthday haha]

Nancy: [when no door drugs appear scrunching up your nose like how unforgivable ‘you got a bump or two?’ stretching because you feel as though that might adequately wake you, as if you have been asleep here and not in love]

Teddy: [literally shouting ‘it’s my birthday’ at the door like the audacity to be so rude and unfeeling randoms, you bastards, but then emptying his pockets to frankly hilarious effect when still none appear because god knows what he has in there at this point in the night or how many pockets this outfit even has]

Nancy: [trawling through the things that do appear like what the hell bestie, some of which would be your underwear because gotta still have that somewhere, smirking like he’s some pervert who just stole them and you didn’t give them to him for perverted purposes, tutting at the lack of coke however]

Teddy: [me knowing that he also has the ripped af ones and didn’t just leave them where she did because he’s sentimental like that ‘where’s YOUR bag?’ because for all he knows she literally also left that on the street because he did not care and wasn’t paying attention but the point is where is YOUR coke why am I expected to provide]

Nancy: [when you’ve definitely left it on the street in front of his house because you’re a chaotic slag, at least this gives you the excuse to run out and past these hoes sharpish because need to see if it’s still there lol]

Teddy: [calling after her ‘I’ll buy you new [whatever he remembers being in her bag when he went through it for her cigarettes and his presents respectively]’ fully like leave it and forget it, it’s gone forever bye because he’s so chaotic and wasteful and values nothing, giving why are you running]

Nancy: [inaudibly shouting that it has your blank in it because either acting like this is sentimental or it genuinely is, either way, run and see it’s definitely not there babes]

Teddy: Well?

Nancy: Thank fuck I put my phone in my bra

Teddy: What have you lost? Besides [and the list of what he can remember]

Nancy: Alright, smartypants

Nancy: I didn’t have my cards, or any cash, but they discontinued that shade of lipstick

Teddy: Who? I’ll ask them to make more of it for you

Nancy: You’ll ask [whatever boujee makeup brand this is] to make more, just for me

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: You do make me laugh

Teddy: I’m not joking, I’m emailing them now

Nancy: Are you still high?

Nancy: Let me read it before you send it

Teddy: Hardly high enough to agree to a dyslexic proofreader

Teddy: & no, I want to talk about you

Nancy: Back to your charming self, darling

Teddy: You loathe receiving my compliments

Teddy: [but literally sending her double the amount of money he’s calculated her missing things to be worth so she can rebuy even better versions]

Nancy: No I don’t

Nancy: it’s your birthday

Teddy: Shh, I’m talking to the people who are going to make you a personalised lipstick, if I don’t concentrate it’ll be all wrong

Nancy: but 🥺

Teddy: But 0

Nancy: 🤐  

Teddy: [a pause while he sends the longest emails back and forth just gushing about this girl and genuinely arranging for her to have her own lipstick tailored to all the things he has said because if you have enough money you can do anything]

Teddy: Okay, what was it you wanted to say to me?

Nancy: I missed you

Teddy: What are you doing?

Nancy: Talking to Chlo about James and Ava for you

Teddy: I’m shocked she’s awake, perhaps she’s who we should be asking for our bumps

Nancy: I’m shocked she still has her septum, yeah

Nancy: she’s clearly stewing over what you proposed

Teddy: She’s all too aware she’d dream about me

Nancy: I’ll let you be a bighead

Teddy: Because you’re proud of yourself

Teddy: I’m proud of you too

Nancy: please

Teddy: You know I’m in awe of the things you can make people do

Nancy: Says you, look at this party

Nancy: everyone adores you

Teddy: Birthdays & cash don’t count, they work for everyone

Nancy: So do good looks, so does everything

Teddy: Absolutely, you’re more than your incredible looks though

Nancy: We’re talking about you

Teddy: I’m not

Nancy: I wish I could talk about you 

Teddy: Chlo is famously out of the loop & won’t be none the wiser who [nancy’s bf] is, I’ll be your boyfriend

Nancy: No you won’t

Teddy: You don’t wish you could talk about me then, you liar

Nancy: Talk about you, not an imaginary boyfriend

Teddy: I’d detest giving him credit too, obviously

Nancy: I’m going to get a new one, this isn’t working out

Teddy: [the one gay she got in the middle of] or [the other lol]?

Nancy: A throuple, obviously 🙄

Teddy: They are that co-dependent, true 

Nancy: I don’t need to be in the emotional middle of all that, imagine

Nancy: suppose you’re sticking with the bride

Teddy: You’re much too fond of slurs, for a start

Nancy: If they’re gay they faked it convincingly enough

Teddy: Of course they did, you’re Chlo’s opposite, she flips men one way, you the other

Nancy: Ha, is that what happened

Teddy: Clearly

Nancy: You’ve never been gay, contrary to what you sister might think

Teddy: Why on earth are you being SO uncharacteristically nice to me?

Nancy: You just gave me lots of money, why else

Teddy: I’m not about to take it back

Nancy: Fine, fuck you

Teddy: Third time is supposedly the charm

Nancy: You wish, baby

Nancy: I’m super busy

Teddy: Fine, I’ll occupy myself with finding you a new boyfriend

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: It won’t prove very difficult

Nancy: Are you insulting my standards, all the way down there with yours

Teddy: I was singing your praises, as always

Nancy: Why are YOU being so nice

Teddy: As written above, when am I not?

Nancy: We’re having an amnesty for your birthday, no list today

Teddy: I’ll ask again in [however long until it’s no longer his bday which clearly as far as he’s concerned is when this party ends, which we’re estimating as the time his dad wants him in work], noted

Nancy: You’ll find a distraction before then

Teddy: Undeniably, there’s plenty of money remaining to give to the poker table

Nancy: How much are you down tonight?

Teddy: I’m hurt at your presumption I’m not on a winning streak

Nancy: I know you

Teddy: [tell her how much you are down as if it’s nothing when it’s actually so much]

Nancy: Jesus, you need to go find some more drugs or someone to suck your dick again instead

Teddy: You sound like my sister, money is there to be spent

Nancy: Yeah, in exchange for goods and/or services, darling

Nancy: why do you like losing so much?

Teddy: It’s an act of charity, you aren’t complaining when I’m losing the family fortune to your needs

Nancy: You’re all heart

Teddy: Or perhaps I’m just childish

Nancy: Why not both, dream big

Teddy: It’s your nightmare, not mine

Nancy: What are you talking about?

Teddy: YOU talked about how I’m such a child

Nancy: Hours ago, why are you getting upset about that now

Teddy: I’m not upset

Nancy: You seem it

Teddy: Maybe you can’t read people either

Nancy: You’re thinking about your sister again, you shouldn’t have let me read it if it was going to put you in a mood

Teddy: You’re the one who spiralled, I’m in a fantastic mood

Nancy: I’m very glad

Teddy: [suggest a potential bf, whether you’re being serious or shady who can ever say lol]

Nancy: 💭

Teddy: Yes, I know, my mind

Nancy: No, I mean I’m debating what you’re possibly trying to say with that candidate 

Teddy: Take your time, darling, you evidently find me quite the puzzle

Nancy: Why do you want to pick?

Teddy: You’re busy, I’m not, it isn’t THAT deep, truly

Nancy: Alright, whatever you say

Teddy: If you refuse to take me at my word, what I say is utterly irrelevant

Nancy: I don’t refuse that

Teddy: & yet, I can feel your scepticism through the phone

Nancy: well I did say I wanted an older man and I’m the oldest person at this party so

Teddy: Well, [someone we’re shading] acts ancient, I don’t understand why they even bothered to come 🥱

Teddy: Is [someone who isn’t at the party and we genuinely think she would get with] a more suitable prospect?

Nancy: Their parents are divorcing, home atmosphere is icy, what I’ve heard

Nancy: but perhaps, yes

Teddy: Incredible, theirs can be my new mummy given mine is far too busy

Nancy: Be fair

Nancy: her face isn’t going to keep itself

Teddy: Her face was fine, the issues are psychological 

Nancy: You’re not [however old his mum is/we think she is because you don’t know exactly of course]

Teddy: Neither is she, guess again, except don’t because this is a tedious game

Nancy: Whatever, you’ll care when your hairline recedes, that’s my point

Teddy: I care that it’s my birthday, not that she makes it about her lost youth

Nancy: She’s upset about YOU

Teddy: That crisis will be poised for my leaving home

Nancy: It’ll be revisited, at every milestone, of course

Teddy: Quite

Nancy: But you won’t move out for ages, you have it too good

Teddy: Only for the renovations, not that there will be anywhere near enough, the guests are slacking

Nancy: A second act is required

Teddy: I have to do EVERYTHING myself, it seems

Teddy: give my love to my sister-in-law, the people need their king

Nancy: Good luck

Nancy: I’ve avoided mentioning you thus far

Teddy: Well done 👏

Nancy: You act as if I’m obsessed

Teddy: Aren’t you?

Nancy: Only in the one way

Nancy: don’t worry

Teddy: I didn’t dress you as my bride

Nancy: I know

Nancy: I saw the posts before she deleted them

Teddy: Screenshots live forever

Nancy: A LOT of people were filming once she arrived, the shame isn’t going anywhere

Teddy: As it shouldn’t

Nancy: I don’t think you like me, not like that

Teddy: I wouldn’t enjoy humiliating you, no

Teddy: except in your previously mentioned one way

Nancy: That goes without saying

Teddy: Nevertheless, I’ve said it

Nancy: I knew you were angry with me

Nancy: thinking about all the ways you could take it out on me

Teddy: I was & I did, it’s my parents turn right now

Nancy: Okay, see you on the other side, maybe

Teddy: [go and cause some more absolute carnage hun, soz to his parents]

Nancy: [I don’t feel hugely sorry for you but we know a lot of damage in property and cash is being done here on this day, they’re gonna be livid lol, eventually when you’ve laid enough groundwork with Chlo, you can come in and join in with whatever is going down in this gaff]

Teddy: [and I deffo don’t feel sorry for Chlo haha, we love to see the teamwork though because clearly too many people at this party are too out of it by this point and don’t have the stamina]

Nancy: [like they are correct but also they are completely stirring so you know lol, y’all are having a lovely time just getting to ruin everything here and now]

Teddy: [even a broken clock as they say, hence I’m letting you have java even if nobody believes you rn lol, if this was a film what a montage that would be, the peak romance of y’all causing and standing amongst actual wreckage, go and properly sort the dad blackmail/humiliation of it all as well because you took the pictures but then got distracted]

[livredebelle]

Four.

IT TOOK ALL I HAD to not think about what had happened. I grit my teeth in annoyance. Ugh, how embarrassing was that! Quinn totally took advantage when I was feeling confused and still half-asleep. To take advantage like that was despicable. How could I continue to hang out and smoke with him? 

Still... There was a voice in my head that told me that I was being unreasonable. This was the modern times, after all--no one would think anything of it. He was right; we were grown adults, and if it was something we decided, then that was that...

What was I thinking? I couldn't seriously be considering that guy's proposal. I shook my head, disgusted with myself. On my high school graduation day too...

I didn't really have any friends in school. Well, I did used to have one, but she had left school after our junior year to be homeschooled for our last year. She hadn't told me whether she was going to attend the ceremony. Things with her had been awkward with her due to a past grievance, but I still counted her as one of my best friends--the only one, actually. I never acquainted myself with anybody else in the school. As a result, the ceremony passed pretty by quickly. Towards the end, the principal gave some kind of bullshit speech about moving forward as adults into society and making a difference in the world. Such a generic story, blah blah blah. Sickening. 

I'm the worst critic out there. 

After the drudgery was over, I stepped out of school grounds and took in a deep breath. I had made it, all on my own. In a way, it felt good that no one from my family was here; if they were, they'd try to steal credit for my success, and undoubtedly say stuff like, It's all because we didn't abandon you. We raised you when everything in your family went to shit. Yet you moved out on your own. Ungrateful. 

Had I made the right decisions in my life up until this point? I guessed not... If I had, would I still feel this hollow inside? 

"Hey, I made it."

I looked over in the direction of the voice and made a face. 

Quinn was there, along with Maria, who I was very surprised to see. Maria was the best friend who had been gone the past year due to being homeschooled. She was a short, petite girl who had her own share of demons, who had always been pretty and popular. She and I were an odd pairing for sure; in high school, none of our peers could understand why Maria and I were friends--because we were so different. It was hard to describe our friendship, exactly. We just happened to be going through some difficult shit at the same time; apparently, when you're down and going through a storm in life, it's easy to pick out the same lifeless look in another's eyes--it's like your own reflection. Maybe that was how Maria found me. Or maybe that's the way I found her... who knows at this point. I had to admit, I had thought about inviting Maria since she was the closest girl "friend" I had, but I had assumed she would be too busy; last I'd heard, she was getting ready to start classes at a faraway liberal arts school as an Art major. 

She gave me a tight-lipped smile in recognition of the genuine surprise that must've been apparent in my eyes. It was a tender moment for the both of us, although it was unspoken--it was a reunion after a past storm. I felt my throat tighten. 

"Hi... what are you both doing here?" 

"You know, I was rather hurt that you didn't invite me. I would understand why you didn't invite this guy, but I've been with you since you were a scrawny, pre-pubescent teenager." Maria smiled, but as usual it didn't touch her eyes. Perhaps she still resented me a little...

"Sorry. I figured you'd be busy even without this. It's a silly tradition, to have your family attend and make a big fuss over something like this, anyway."

"Wrong... This is one of those traditions you should really keep. Wouldn't you agree, Quinn?"

"Oh, I have a name? I thought I was just 'this guy.'" 

"My mistake... if that's how you want to be referred to after all, then..."

"Shut up. Anyway, I just thought if I brought her here, it would make you happy," Quinn said, rolling his eyes at her. Then he looked straight at me, and my face flushed a little. It was impossible, after all, to act like nothing had happened. If Maria knew what we had talked about last night, she'd kill me--or, worse, she'd ask for all sorts of embarrassing details, so I didn't feel like discussing it with her. Plus, she had so much more experience in dating than I did; this would feel like child's play compared to her. 

"Here. For you." 

Quinn handed me a bouquet of flowers, while Maria effortlessly put a money lei over my head. It was done before I had even blinked. 

"Thanks." I felt myself blush because I was embarrassed. Is this what it felt like, to be congratulated for graduating? In secret, I was rather touched that they had come. It meant a lot more when people bothered to show up even when you didn't go out of the way to invite them. It meant that they were thinking about you. 

Right? 

"Are you all done here? If so, we should go grab some lunch. I bet you haven't eaten anything yet, have you?" Maria brushed out a knot in my natural hair that I hadn't bothered to curl or straighten for the occasion. It was too troublesome, and I hadn't thought there'd be anyone to show it off to. 

"I think so... Let me go get my diploma. I think I left it under my chair in the auditorium."

Quinn sighed, annoyed. "You left something as important as that? Didn't you bother to check you had everything before you came out?" 

I gave him a sour look. "I forgot. Why are you getting mad? Stupid." Then, I headed back to the auditorium to retrieve my diploma. Where did I sit... on the east side, close to the front bleachers, I believe. I made my way to my row and frowned; there was nothing under the chairs. Did I black out during the ceremony or something? It couldn't have moved on its own...

"Can I help you with what you're looking for, miss?" a gentle voice behind me inquired.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Yamada: so how did you and izuku start dating

Aizawa: I saw him crush a watermelon with his thighs and I accidentally said out loud “oh god I wish that were me right now” and here we are now

~The way this immediately and completely ate my entire brain~

Of three things Aizawa Shouta is absolutely sure:

One, he simply was not built for operating during the daylight hours. Nighttime really is where it's at in his opinion. The general lack of crowds and eye-searing sunlight just can't be beaten. (Dusk and dawn hours also get a pass but they're both on thin ice.)

Two, the beach is a sandy hell-scape whose only redeeming factor is the convenient access it provides to the eldritch horror that is the ocean aka the place he'll doubtlessly end up drowning himself when he finally, and according to Hizashi inevitably, snaps and runs gibbering mad into the abyss.

And three, he's absolutely and irrevocably cursed. He's being singled out and punished from on high by the gods themselves. His name is writ large across the cosmos in mockery. There is a cosmic "kick me" sign taped to his spiritual back and Shouta's going to hunt his former student Sero down and give him detention for life for encouraging his family's patron god to put it there.

By this point it's really the only logical explanation.

Which, as a card-carrying atheist, he's pretty sure is saying something about the depth of his feelings regarding his current circumstances.

Because there's no other explanation for why or how he's managed to find himself in this current situation.

The situation being, of course, Shouta, in full hero gear, standing in the hot sun on a pristine sandy beach, surrounded by screaming fans as he provides extra security and crowd control for the 20th Annual Heroic Sukiwari Charity Drive.

Shouta has seen hell and it is both Ms. Joke's open mic night and this exact moment right here.

Because, again, he's absolutely 100% cursed.

And the avatar of said curse is, obviously, his soon-to-be ex-best friend who somehow roped him into this entire thing.

Because some people say divine retribution when talking about cosmic revenge plots but Shouta tends to just says Yamada Hizashi. The two are, in many ways, interchangeable.

Shouta's going to put purify salts in all of Hizashi's hair products and also his sugar jar and possibly his energy drinks the next chance he gets.

Because if he never sees another shirtless pro-hero or another watermelon again in his life it'll be too soon.

He's pretty sure he has permanent hearing damage from all of the screaming and screeching the crowd's been doing since this thing started.

And if, after all these years of friendship with the personification of a megaphone, watching a bunch of pro's crush watermelons with nothing but their personal strength on a beach to raise money for various charities is what finally destroys his hearing Shouta is going to shave Hizashi bald before he finally embraces sweet death.

Or enacts Nezu's birthday plans and becomes a supervillain.

The jury's honestly still out at this point.

Shouta does his best to shut out the screaming behind him as one of the cameramen slides up beside him, getting a better angle on the stage as Hizashi, who's currently screeching about Miruko's performance, practically dances across the sand in front of where Shouta's standing.

"Wow, wow, wow," Present Mic chants as he dramatically fans himself, "that was one on heart-stopping, hare-raising show. Let's give it up for everyone's favorite bad, bad, bunny, Miruko!"

For her part, Miruko just struts off the small stage with a nonchalant wave to the crowd, her tiny white bikini in place and the pulverized remains of the half dozen watermelons she'd dropped kicked into soup left behind her.

"But don't lose that rhythm yet listeners," Mic announces gleefully. "Because we've got one more hero set to take the stage! So, without further ado, it's the moment I know a lot of you have been waiting for, myself included if we're being honest. The pièce de résistance of our little shindig, the showstopper himself, the one, the only, the #1 Can Do Hero Dekiru."

The crowd is absolutely deafening.

And, for once, Shouta has to grudgingly admit that he can't actually blame them.

Shirtless, sculpted shoulders and tight abs on display thanks to his low sitting and almost criminally short green swim shorts, and with his trademark bashful smile in place, Dekiru trots out from behind the curtained-off area with a crate of watermelons resting on his shoulder like it's no big deal.

Shouta's pretty sure someone to his immediate right faints but considering they're not currently a trample risk he ignores it.

But the casual show of strength with no quirk use in sight is more than a bit impressive.

For all that people, romance specifically, and attraction in general, have all been things to be considered on a firm case-by-case basis for Shouta, even he has to admit that Dekiru is ... captivating.

Rather drastically so for Shouta considering he's never actually met the man before in person.

Though Shouta does feel like he almost knows him on some level considering the fact that it really would take an act of the actual gods to get Yagi to shut up about his erstwhile protege during staff meetings.

Dekiru waves his free hand at the crowd as he sets his crate of watermelons down on the stage.

"Show us what you've got!" Mic demands from a few feet to Shouta's left. "And let's give him some encouragement listeners!"

The crowd starts up a loud and steady chant of "De~ki~ru!" as the hero pulls his first watermelon out and begins his set.

With an effortless flex of muscles, Dekiru digs his fingers into the watermelon and wrenches it completely in two.

Shouta reaches up to tug at the top of his uniform, relishing the small sip of cool air it grants him.

Shoulders and biceps flexing, another watermelon meets its end between Dekiru's palms.

Shouta really needs to add a water bottle to his utility belt because hydration is important. Or so he's been repeatedly told.

"Those hands, those muscles," Mic groans dramatically. "He really is the Can Do Hero!"

Cheeks noticeably flushed, Dekiru sits down on the stage and fits a watermelon between thick, toned thighs.

His hips twist, those thighs flex, and the watermelon cracks, spilling juice and sweet pink flesh all over Dekiru's lap.

"Oh god," Shouta can't help but say, "I wish that was me right now."

On stage Dekiru's eyes go wide as his attention somehow abruptly zero's in on Shouta.

It's at that moment that Shouta becomes aware of the deafening silence that's fallen over the beach.

Head-turning agonizingly slowly to the left, Shouta's confronted with the sight of Mic, microphone in hand, standing shoulder to shoulder with him.

His sunglasses are askew and he's staring at Shouta with a look on his face that's one part horror and one part unholy glee.

As a matter of fact, the entire beach is staring at him in much the same way.

For a moment Shouta just freezes, body going still at having so much attention turned in his direction.

This ... was not the turn he was expecting the day to take by far.

His first instinct is to, honestly, use his scarf to slingshot himself directly into the sun so his soul can be cleansed with cosmic fire.

But then ...

"Ah," Dekiru speaks up from on the stage, one hand ruffling the back of his hair and cheeks darker than before, "maybe we could go on a date first though? If you'd like?"

There's suddenly a part of Shouta that doesn't actually want to delete himself from existence via self-immolation.

And there's an even large part that doesn't want to outright reject Dekiru's seemingly sincere offer.

Because, when it all comes down to it, Dekiru seems to be, by all accounts, what passes for exactly Shouta's type.

Whip-smart if his very public arrest record and tendency to argue online and on the air with people he disagrees with is anything to go by.

Cute, with that dark green hair and sharp undercut, matching wide eyes, and a face sprinkled liberally with freckles.

Leanly built and small enough that Shouta's sure he could move him around easily but obviously muscular enough to be able to put up just the right amount of resistance in the right situation.

And, above all else, if the stories are to be believed, obviously some degree of batshit insane.

More than one story Yagi had told during breaks had Shouta questioning if the man had imported special American demons back to Japan and then stuffed them all into the deceptively charming and approachable-looking hero that is Dekiru.

So there's really only one logical way to proceed forward in this situation.

Shouta grins.

Several people in the crowd around him step back.

He's pretty sure he hears someone start reciting a prayer.

But Dekiru just blushes, eyes locked on Shouta's and teeth tugging at his lower lip.

"Hope you like coffee," Shouta finally says into the breathless silence that's fallen over them, "and cats."

Dekiru lights up, a smile brighter than the sun and twice as deadly blossoming across his face.

Just off of Shouta's side, Hizashi's busy having some kind of hysterical seizure.

Around them the crowd is going absolutely feral.

Yagi's going to birth actual kittens in the middle of the staff room when he finds out about this.

Shouta can't wait.

[simogne]

TW I'm a moid

Anyway

Radblr, I've got something to ask

Let me build some concepts

1) The principle of bodily autonomy.

It basically says that one's body must not be subjected to anything the person didn't consent to. We can't phantom humans to exist without freedom and agency over their own material bodies, so this is the most important human right , overtopping the right to life. If somebody infringes on my bodily autonomy, I have every right to free myself and reinstate my desired state of things, with all means possible (this contemplates homicide too)

My first argument to support the legitimacy of abortion is therefore an argument based on bodily autonomy, and it can withstand pro-life rhetorics even if one considers the foetus to be a person.

2) Radical Feminist ideas (or at least my understanding of)

Radical feminist ideas ground themselves on the concept that many choices done in our current societies aren't actually free and out of personal will, but to some extent are the products of peer pressuring, socialization and other instruments of the patriarchy, with the ultimate goal of subjecting the female class as a whole. This is why prostitution is not a choice, surgery is not liberating, femininity is weaponized, religion is a farse, and all those things must be discouraged and actively fought against, for the sake of the female class.

I hold many radical feminist ideas and I recognise the importance of the bodily autonomy principle, so I'm asking to make sense of it all.

How can radical feminists rationalize their fights without infringing on the aforementioned bodily autonomy right? Isn't it still infringing on one's b.a if you try to disincentivize their actions?

The only way I can see this, is if you create an ethical conjecture;

"The right not to be subjected to things against my will, doesn't imply the right to subject myself to things even if I'm willful."

In this moral line, I can't be forced to dye my hair purple, but this doesn't mean I can dye my hair purple, even if I wanted to.

Obviously, certain things need to be allowed and moral particularisms come in handy.

A bigger general moral particularism may be constructed, using the well-being of the female class as a direction; anything that would harm the female class may not be permissible, everything else may be.

So there's a philosophical outcome, is it satisfactory for radical feminism? I suppose so.

Is it restricting of one's bodily autonomy? Sadly, but the real world is just as bad (maybe even worse)

anyways lmk what y'all think, this is just my brain working overtime and I'm very dumb❤️

[camifnoodles]

Hmmmmm... top 5 Yuki cards?

Thank you for letting me talk about my son ;w;

5. MANKAI Birthday (Unbloomed)

This is more for personal nostalgia than anything else--this is the first Yuki SSR I ever got, and also the first birthday card I ever pulled! He was my best Yuki for most of my A3EN journey, and still held the comedy crown even after Halloween Yuki took over action and drama. I'm only putting it at #5 tho because for all intents and purposes it's pretty boring-looking as far as Yuki cards go (the bloomed one is nice but I never bloomed it so), but it's still so near and dear to my heart. Thank you for coming home in a token pull, Mankai Bday Yuki

4. MANKAI Glitter (Bloomed)

Not much to say about this one tbh--someone said "you can't make Yuki even more beautiful" and Liber said "hold my drink." All of these cards are beautiful but I think Yuki's might take the cake, with maybe Banri's being prettier, and that's not just me being heavily biased. I think his eye color really helps it stand out, actually, and the background is so nice and colorful

3. A Page From Someone's Life (Bloomed)

Ohhhhh my god gorgeous. My gorgeous son. Beautiful. Stunning. It's such a cute outfit. The accessories. The dress. His posing. So professional. Good job you go otsukaresama Yuki. I will like this card even more if the second copy comes home so I can have it for myself

2. Brilliant Accomplice (Unbloomed)

Last Runway was the first event I did as a revival when I joined A3JP, and though my cards weren't good like. in general. yet, I was able to push my way to getting one copy of this card. I might like this version more bc I actually have it, but in general I do think the composition looks a little better here than it does in the bloomed version. The background of the bloomed one might be a little boring for me? idk

1. Sugary ⭐︎ Magic (Bloomed)

This card is my absolute most beloved Yuki. In EN I knew it was coming and I busted my butt to get it bloomed despite having really bad gacha luck for this event (I think I got one Kumon and that was it). But he's so cute. The colors. The background. His lil wink. I'm love him. He was #1 on my homescreen until the day A3EN died, and while I have a lot of events and cards I've never seen before to catch up on in JP, I'm seriously considering wasting a revival just to get him back

[wildlyglittering]

The Ones Before

Happy Sunday everyone!

Thank you again to those liking, re-blogging and commenting on my fic’s, I really do appreciate it. 

I’m loving all the ACOSF inspired fic’s and fanarts that are being produced - and definitely all the critique!!

I hope you enjoy!

***

A hand pressed against his bicep as a low, husky voice murmured in his ear.

“General.”

The owner of that voice, an attractive red-haired female, placed a glass of dark liquid in front of him and squeezed her fingers around his arm.

Cassian’s muscles automatically flexed and the voice turned into a breathless giggle. “On the house,” she whispered, her mouth moving closer to his ear. Perhaps it was his imagination but it seemed that she had pushed her breasts against him so he would feel their firm swell against his shoulder.

He turned to her with a smile so charming that her face lit up like solstice lights. “Thank you,” he said, “but I can’t accept.”

Those ruby red lips of hers turned from a grin into a pout and once upon a time Cassian would have eased her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb before asking if there was anything he could do to put a smile back on her face.

Once upon a time. Not now.

Despite his rejection, she was undeterred.

“It’s our finest liquor, General. It’s incredibly silky as it goes down.” It was definitely not in his imagination that he saw the twinkle in her eye.

“I’m sure it is,” he said with a wink, “but let me rephrase myself – I won’t accept.”

The twinkle, much like the smile, disappeared. She frowned before snatching the glass and storming off, Cassian catching her stamp her foot as she left as though she were a petulant child and not a fae of likely over a century old.

Cassian chuckled and turned back to the table, picking up the drink he had. The beverage was sickly sweet and made from fruits that were imported into Night from Spring. It was Elain’s favourite and not at all Cassian’s. There were times when he missed the sharpness of wine or the spice of whisky but he reminded himself of what he gained by no longer drinking.

Early winter had come to Velaris and the city was bustling, its occupants rushing around hard at work or preparing for the solstice. Cassian was doing neither; a rare idle day off had lain ahead of him when he’d woken that morning.

The skies had been a bright, albeit pale, blue to start but had grown steadily gloomier before turning into an ashen grey with fat clouds that poured the rains down. The rain wasn’t the soft kind but the sort that smashed against the stones with such force that drops rebounded from the ground and back into the air.

A misty haze drifted around the footsteps of all the rushing fae, their shrieks filling the street as those without coverings ran for shelter from one building to another.

Cassian had been caught out when it started. The first rumble of thunder occurred when he was crossing the bridge and he looked down to see small droplets on the back of his hand. He stood, watching as the rain lashed into the river, mesmerised by the circles the drops created. His hair was drenched and he shook the strands around his head, laughing.

Storms never bothered him, the only reason he moved indoors was because he took up too much space outside for those who didn’t find getting soaked as delightful as he did. That, and his pending companion wouldn’t be too impressed to be made to hang around in the rain.

The café he settled in gave him a decent view of the streets and a prime view of the bridge ahead. Rainwater dripped from his hair when he tied it into a bun and he’d ordered himself his drink, delivered by an older female who wasn’t remotely interested in Cassian.

Fresh warm bread scented the place as the waitresses carried large slices, liberally buttered and served with thick broths in deep bowls, to surrounding tables. Despite the smell, he was content to drink his cordial and observe the world beyond the windows.

The clinking of plates from the table next to him drew his attention and he looked over to see the red-haired fae clearing crockery for the next customers. Although she was working, she was clearly keeping an eye on Cassian, probably waiting to see if he’d change her mind at her offer.

With her coquettish glances and the angle in which she now exposed her cleavage, it wasn’t only a drink she was offering.

A time existed once, when he would have charmed her and they would have removed themselves into the backroom of the café or even a room in the apartments above. Because he was the General, they would never have been reprimanded even if it left the café one employee down.

Admittedly something about the serving fae had captured his attention. Yes, flirtations from an attractive female were always flattering but he had entertained her smiles a bit more than he should have done in the circumstances.

The thrashing of the rain grew louder when the door to the café opened and a fae couple walked in laughing about their soaking clothes. The red-head walked past Cassian to greet them and as she did, her dress deliberately slipped, leaving a pale freckled shoulder to his view.

A memory flashed through Cassian’s mind and in an instant, he could place why she captured his attention so. It was a memory so dusty on the shelves of his brain that he was surprised it was even in the archives.

He was centuries old and he’d spent that time in a variety of ways. Chasing after attainable and unattainable females and fucking a fair few was very much on the list.

But everyone, even he, the fierce Lord of Bloodshed and General of the Night Court’s armies had to begin somewhere.

He’d lost his virginity not to a fellow Illyrian but a fae. She hadn’t been a female of strength or status and considering as Cassian was a bastard runt at the time, he couldn’t have even fathomed those females would ever be an option.

There had been a war. There was always a war.

The troop of Illyrians were on the outskirts of the Night Court and were setting camp around one of the smaller towns. A tavern with warm lights and a warmer hearth was tucked into one of the streets and he was sick of sleeping in the filth. The mud oozed its way into his fingernails and onto his hair and worryingly close to the fresh, open wounds he’d sustained while fighting.

Cassian had fought an Illyrian, broader and older than him and one that would have been stronger too if Cassian hadn’t been desperate. Cassian had pounded him into the ground, knuckles connecting harshly with bone, until the male had acquiesced, giving up the three gold coins Cassian wanted.

He’d sloped off to the tavern after his win, to bathe his body and tend his wounds in one of their boarding rooms. He wanted a decent night’s sleep someplace clean and comfortable and, if he’d had any coin left over, a hot meal.

The Illyrian’s in the tavern were either already in their own boarding rooms for the night, passed out in front of the drinking room fire or still drinking in darkened corners. If they saw Cassian, they paid him no mind, he was a tall thing with growing muscles but still on the wrong side of scrawny.

The only fae that looked at him was the female behind the bar.

She looked to be his age but where his skin was dark, hers was fair and where his was a mottled collection of yellow and black bruises hers was as smooth as cream. She had a mass of red hair which tumbled past her shoulders.

“What will this get me?” he asked and placed the coins on the counter.

She’d told him about a small room at the back he could take and the rest would pay for some slices of mutton. And that was all, she stressed, nothing else.

Cassian merely grunted at her, too tired and hungry to care about anything else that she may have implied.

They must have been used to Illyrian guests as their smallest lodging was still room enough for him and his wings. The bed took up most of the space and a narrow window gave him a view of the courtyard he didn’t care to see. When the food was ready the same red-haired fae brought it up to him and told him she would collect the plate in an hour.

Cassian tore into the meat and bread like a starved animal and when she came back to collect the plate as promised he nodded his thanks and carried on with his task. She’d paused by the door, hesitating.

His leathers and shirt were off and he sat, bare chested on the bed wrapping gauze around his middle with inexperienced hands, cursing when it slipped away.

“Here,” she said, “let me help.”

Her fingers were soft. It had been so long since he’d been touched by a female in any kind of manner. When he was a boy he longed for the touch of a mother but he was no longer a boy and a mother’s touch wasn’t on his mind anymore.

Her fingertips dipped and tucked around his skin, wrapping and folding the gauze so it held firm. All throughout she kept glancing from her task to see him watching her.

“You’re handsome,” she told him, “it’s in a rough way but you have a gentleness in your eyes.”

Cassian closed his eyes as her fingertips traced down his belly and lower and he shuddered when they dipped inside his leathers. Her lips placed a gentle kiss to the bruise on his cheekbone and then used her free hand to turn his face to hers.

Their kisses were slow, unpractised and wet. Their tongues sliding over each other until somehow, she was on her back on his small bed and he was nestled on top of her. When she guided his hand up her skirts and in between her thighs he discovered something else wet and his body hummed.

He didn’t make love to her but it wasn’t fucking either.

He was unskilled but made up for it with enthusiasm and he watched as the moonlit danced across her bare skin, highlighting the splattering of freckles across her shoulders and chest.

Cassian slept like the dead that night never knowing whether he’d passed out before she left or if she’d crept away in the night. Either way, in the morning she was gone and he was alone.

Despite the fact that he’d taken his pleasure but hadn’t managed to give her hers, she’d placed extra gauze on the wooden table by the bed along with a parcel of food, carefully wrapped up for him to take away.

She’d never asked for his name and hadn’t given hers either.

The continued laughing of the couple brought Cassian back to the café. That red-haired fae from the tavern would now be centuries old, like him, if she were still alive. The town that she lived in had grown to the size of a small city.

Whether the tavern still existed, Cassian didn’t know. Whether she was alive, Cassian wouldn’t know.

He was a nobody back then but it was no surprise that the red-haired fae in this café knew who he was.

Most, if not all, of the city knew who he was. Predominantly he was the esteemed General who had protected and fought for Velaris for centuries and a member of the Inner Circle, one of their High Lord’s most trusted confidantes.

The other facet of his reputation, and likely what the serving fae was interested in, wasn’t so much his prowess in battle as it was in bed. Cassian, and every female since the first, had one Illyrian female to thank for that.

Elvira.

By the time he’d met her he’d grown into a warrior of some esteem. Still a foot soldier and placed in the lowest ranks where Rhys’ father wanted him but the previous High Lord of Night couldn’t crush Cassian’s desire to succeed nor his natural talent at doing so.

He was broader by this point, the burgeoning muscles now in full growth and he ambled into camp with his war wounds now badges of pride.

Cassian was a long way off his nickname of Lord of Bloodshed but whispers spread amongst the camps of an Illyrian warrior, not even a century old, who was feared and revered in equal measure.

His success fed him even if Rhys’ father, nervous at the suggestion that Cassian was the reincarnation of the Illyrian’s first warrior, tried to starve him from his accomplishments.

Elvira had been in that camp, wings clipped and eyes hard. An immediate attraction existed between them and Cassian wanted her.

Luckily, she also wanted him.

After their first time, laying on the camp bed in his tent, he was cocky. You’re blessed, he told her, you’re in the bed of the best Illyrian. Her scoff followed by the comment about him not being the best Illyrian in bed wounded his pride.

He didn’t lick his wounds for long. Elvira was keen to teach and Cassian keen to learn and he liked to prove a quick study.

Cassian learnt the only way he could learn; through trial and error but with not much room for error. Soon he had it so Elvira panted desperately for her release, her fingers slipping on his skin for grip. Then, when they lay on the camp bed, their bodies coated in their mingled sweat, Elvira had no breath for comments.

Elvira didn’t do gentle and she never considered their acts as making love. Neither did Cassian. They were lessons in the art of fucking.

But some lessons were the hardest to learn.

Much like him, she was filled with rage and it exploded in a temper that was as hot as it was quick. Often their arguments were deliberate just so Cassian could fuck her anger out of her but when together they were flame and neither carried enough sweetness for the other to make their time anything close to joyful.

In the end they both fucked others and neither cared. As quickly as they came together, they fell apart and she drifted away to another camp.

Elvira was dead now. A name on a long list of Illyrians who perished in war. There had been so many that Cassian couldn’t remember which one it was.

Cassian let out a quiet sigh. His drink was now cloying, tasting too sweet against the bitter memories and he fought the temptation to have something stronger.

He had numerous encounters over the centuries and not all as sad as Elvira. In the sands of time, he’d had lovers who’d lasted hours and lovers who’d lasted months. There were those he left and those where they left each other.

Sometimes he wasn’t willing to let go first, they were rare, but they happened.

Mor came to mind. The difference was that he’d pocketed her away in a corner of his heart, one that held Az, Rhys and Feyre and even Amren - when he was feeling gracious.

Mor was the only lover who became a friend.

The night they spent together she was at her most beautiful. The bravado she would later have and that he would love was still developing. She lay back on his bed, the flames crackling outside his tent and her golden hair fanned across his pillow, a pale blush bloomed on her creamy skin.

Cassian was a means to an end that night but in truth, so was Mor. They became a tool for each other’s temporary destruction but then they became a tool for each other’s re-birth. He would always love Mor and she him.

There was only one other female from his past that he could say he adored for a time.

High fae were visiting Velaris from Dawn and she was one of the nobles, invited to the House of Wind as a special courtesy. She dressed in soft sunrise pinks and oranges, her hair a soft golden-brown caramel and she had sharp grey eyes.

Her appearance was gentle but she had her own mind and would speak it, although her opinions, even the forthright ones, were always tempered with kindness.

Cassian was older, sharper, more rough-hewn than before. He felt battle scarred and weary on a daily basis but at that moment he was amongst friends, drinking wine that tinted their lips ruby red and throwing back their heads in boisterous laughter.

The reason behind the Dawn Court’s political visit was long forgotten but Cassian would always remember her.

She strode over to him, her beautiful face with cheekbones sharper than any blade but holding a tender smile.

“My name,” she told him, “is Lyla. Yours?”

He’d introduced himself and, like the gentleman he wasn’t, kissed her palm.

“I’d like a drink Cassian and a tour of the balcony if you would.”

His grin was borderline feral.

Lyla smelt like jasmine and roses and every chance Cassian had he pressed his nose into her skin, inhaling as deep as he could to capture it into his lungs forever. That night he showed her the Night Court stars and the next, his scars.

Every night after was spent in his bed.

When the Dawn Court left to continue their tour, Lyla stayed behind for almost a year.

Mor teased Cassian relentlessly. “Is she yours?” she jested. “Is this it for our beloved Cassian? Lost forever in the endless drudgery of matehood?”

He’d laughed it off but secretly hoped it was.

He’d sometimes dream of a figure and the image that passed through his mind was always one with golden-brown hair and grey eyes. In his dreams he always tried to reach her, this female who was permanently one step away. Every time he got close, she seemed to slip down a corridor of a labyrinth she’d built up around her.

At times he would get close enough to touch the strands of her hair and as she turned a corner, he would glimpse a striking cheekbone and chilling glare.

On waking he would reach for Lyla, warm and supple in the bed next to him. “You were running from me again,” he murmured and placed hot kisses down her throat.

“I would never,” she gasped as he drew closer, unlacing the front of her nightgown and bearing her breasts.

“Hmm, but you did,” and a nipple would disappear into his wet mouth as he slid warm fingers up her thigh. She squirmed delightfully and the sun would break over Night, filling the room.

“And you glared at me,” he would continue as his mouth travelled down her body as he lifted the nightgown up. Cassian would nuzzle his face at the juncture between her legs, and languidly lick her as though he were eating cream from a spoon.

“Oh, I would never.”

Cassian waited for the mate bond to snap but it never did. After another half year had passed, he realised that he didn’t want it to.

Lyla was too good for him.

He licked honey from her body and couldn’t distinguish whether the sweetness was that or her skin. Her hands, smooth as butter, caressed his, snagging on the coarseness of his palms. She would talk about her friends and family, eyes drifting to the windows in longing while patiently spending all her time with his.

Cassian watched as Lyla pined for home.

“Perhaps,” she’d asked him, “Dawn would be a home for you too?”

It would never be and they both knew it. Cassian also understood that while it wasn’t love for him, it was for her. Maybe it could have grown in time but he wondered if it was fair for to Lyla to wait while Cassian forced it to root.

It could be years, Cassian told himself. Or decades. Centuries even. Time is nothing when you are immortal.

Eventually the sweetness would have turned to sorrow while Lyla waited for something that may never happen and that’s why Cassian told her to go. No, it wasn’t love but it still hurt.  

Years later, possibly a hundred of them, he was on a visit to Dawn and enquired about her. Thesan had surprised him by making arrangements and there she was, visiting his guest suite one afternoon as beautiful as ever.

She had mated to a Peregryn. She’d smiled at Cassian, her familiar happy smile and said, “I’ve always liked winged males.”

Cassian’s hug lifted her from the ground and no more was to be said.  

Cassian’s reverie was broken by the chime of the door as more and more fae rushed in. The sky outside had now darkened to charcoal and the rain was showing no sign of slowing. Inside the café, the fae lights lit up and flickered around the trailing ivy draped across the walls.

Another couple had entered and chose to sit in the alcove to Cassian’s left, pressed as close as could be decent in public. Cassian observed them for a second and felt his lips twitch into a smile. The years had turned him into a sap.

There had been too many females to count; multiple hair colours, eye colours and skin tones. A variety of accents and scents.

Then her but before her, during the time in which they sized each other up like dogs of war, there was another.

Cassian rubbed his hand over his face. That year held a long, cold winter and an unrelenting hot summer. Both were filled with anger and vile words. It was no wonder Cassian sought comfort in the arms of someone who wanted to comfort him.

He’d been simultaneously dealing with the discontent within the camps that grew from rebellion into civil war and a personal, much smaller scale rebellion at the request of his High Lord and Lady. Nursing a wounded ego, wounded wrist and what appeared to be a wounded heart he fled back to Velaris to find solace in the drinks at Rita’s.

A beautiful blonde had approached him. She recognised him, had knowledge of his reputation and knew what she wanted. It suited him just fine.

He’d fucked her against his bedroom wall in the House of Wind. He’d fucked her on his bed, against the silk sheets that were luxury in comparison to the rough blankets in his Illyrian cabin. He fucked her from behind and she rode him until her knees gave out. Cassian made sure it lasted the entire night and the next morning her voice was hoarse.

It made him feel better. For a moment.

Cassian hadn’t bothered washing the fae’s scent from him when he flew back to the cabin. It was a vindicative move but felt like a victory when he saw the reaction it had.

Was it worth it? It didn’t matter now. It had been so long ago, half a century - perhaps more.  

That blonde, the one whose name he couldn’t remember because ultimately it was never of significance, was the last female who would grace his bed before the one who mattered did.

That female, he’d said once, was the last female I fucked before the last female I would ever fuck. Cassian grinned at that memory and the subsequent reaction from the other fae in the conversation.

You coarse bastard – you refer to what we do in our bedroom as fucking? I’m your mate. Give it a more respectful name. Her eyes had narrowed and her glare was ice, her posture rigid.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Cassian nodded “whatever you say.” He decided to not mention how, on the morning of that conversation, when they were performing the very act that apparently required some reverential anointment, she had begged him to ‘fuck her harder.’

The current colour of the sky reminded him of her, mainly of the dresses she wore; deep grey embroidered with silver thread, but also of her eyes. Those blue-grey eyes would change shade dependent on her mood. Blue when contented and grey went irritated.

Whether it was magic or a trick of the light Cassian didn’t know but they were often bluer than grey most days.

A crack of lighting and rumble of thunder turned into shrieks as fae ran from the bridge to get out of the storm. All the while Cassian sat at his table in front of the window watching,

He once lied that he wasn’t concerned about who she lost her virginity too, he’d taken the virginity of many but there had been a time when he thought he would be involved in hers too. There was a sadness in that train of thought, that he hadn’t been the one to give her an experience worthy of who she was.

Their first time together was filled with resentment and anger so it was the other times that held more meaning. He remembered when they were on the mountain and the rain drops shone in her hair like jewels. He was overwhelmingly consumed with love for her.

There was time after time where they fell into each other, desperate for the feel of each other’s skin that they shredded through clothes. There had been the soft times where he pressed his mouth against hers, looking into her eyes while their bodies joined.

There had been that very morning and the night before. And the night before that one. She was hungry for everything these days and he grinned at the thought.

On the bridge a group of fae scattered, not to escape the weather but to make way for someone approaching. It wasn’t that they moved out of fear although she did still carry a certain reputation, but an element of her presence commanded respect.

Cassian’s grin turned into a chuckle as she moved nearer. She was using her magic as a barrier against the rain and instead of it hitting her, it lashed out at anyone too near. Despite this, the bottom of her dress was soaked and she wore a scowl on her face only Cassian found charming.

He waved the red-haired fae over and her face lit up until she realised who was heading their way.

“A bowl of your best stew please,” he gestured towards the window, “she hungry.” He paused, “And grumpy.”

Colour leeched from the fae’s face and she rushed off quicker than he’d ever seen anyone move. The door chimed again to announce its newest arrival.

Nesta. His Nesta. The only female he would ever lay beside again, the only female he would want to lay beside again.  

He stood to greet her and she glided over to him, an act which was getting more difficult for her each day. “This weather,” she bit out, “ridiculous. It makes everyone ridiculous.”

He cupped her cold face in his palms and leant forward, kissing her forehead. When he pulled away, she gave a little sigh.

His ever so slightly mellowing Nesta.

He got her settled and the serving fae placed a bowl in front of her before making a hasty retreat. “Thank goodness,” Nesta said, “I’m starving.”

Cassian was content to watch as she picked up her spoon and tucked in. Loose strands of hair framed her face and there was the hint of some freckles on her nose, remnants from the summer when she went to visit Elain.

He would be content to watch her forever.

Reaching out with a hand, he pressed his open palm against her growing stomach. Nesta didn’t break stride, one hand spooning stew into her mouth while the other came to rest on his, their fingers curling together.

Cassian knew when they’d conceived.

It had been one of their visits to Illyria, Cassian for routine training and inspection and Nesta to get some space.

It had happened on the third day.

Nothing unusual had occurred, just simple domesticity in the cabin they shared. Nesta looked so lovely by the fire, her hair loose around her shoulders while she read. A thick blanket was tucked around her and her entire pose indicated nothing but pure relaxation aside from when she occasionally quirked an eyebrow.

That, and the dusky blush on her cheeks, was how Cassian recognised she was reading on of her erotic stories.

He’d placed an open-mouthed kiss on her shoulder. Nesta smelt like the smoke from the fire but tasted as fresh as mint. The little gasps she made as he continued down her body gave him all the encouragement he needed and she buried her fingers in his hair, the book falling with a thud.

Whatever the characters in her story were doing, Cassian could do better.

Soon it was nothing but their naked bodies pressed against each other, sweat coated skin slipping against skin. The firelight danced around them, shadows highlighting the curves of Nesta’s body as she writhed beneath him.

He was on her, in her, around her. His winged body taking up space on the rug. Nesta, his proper Nesta, who stood spine straight and unsmiling in public had sucked his thumb into her mouth, tongue flickering against his flesh, her pupils so large her eyes were black.

Cassian fucked her so hard that when her release came, she arched her back wide off the ground. He’d grabbed her thighs and hoisted her upwards, opening her up further so he could drive in deeper.

Afterwards they lay in front of the glowing embers, sweat cooling and he kissed her breathless because he never wanted to not be kissing her.

The rest of their time in Illyria was filled with duties that took Cassian away and it was a few days after their return to Velaris that he noticed a change in them both. A slight alteration of her scent and a distinct primal urge within him to tear apart any male who looked at her.

Cassian felt their baby shift underneath his palm, moving around for space, maybe even stretching its developing wings.

Nesta made a contented noise, food devoured. She rested her other hand against her stomach and leant back in her chair, looking out the window. “I’m surprised you didn’t want to sit further into the café, the alcove looks cosy.”

“I like watching the city.”

Nesta squeezed his fingers as the baby shifted particularly firmly. She sighed and Cassian saw her look out towards the bridge. “There’s not much to see in this spot.”

“I don’t mind,” Cassian said. “All this time, I was waiting for you.”

[roads-rise-to-meet-me]

Character Bio: Valkyrie

Saw this fun looking thing going around and decided I wanted to do it myself!  Tagging @johnnysilverhandsimpressivecock​ and anyone else who scrolls on by and wants to take part! 

General

Name: Juliette Serrano Aliases/Nicknames: Valkyrie. It was the alias she started going by exclusively when she arrived in Night City; a result of her not wanting to let herself get too close to her work. Eventually, it became more like her real name, and even after she started rolling Nomad again, it was what she preferred to be called.  Gender: Female Age: 27 (As Of 2077)  Birthdate: 7/11/2050 Place of Birth/Hometown: Valkyrie’s exact place of birth is unknown, as she was born into a Wraith camp out in the Badlands somewhere.   Sexual Preference: Bisexual  Occupation: Night City Mercenary/Nomad 

Appearance

Eye Color: Brown. She does have Kiroshi optics, but voted to keep their natural color instead of changing it to something else.  Hair Color: Blonde  Height: 6′0 Scars: Too many to count honestly. She has scars all over her body; the result of everything from stab wounds to road burn. The most prominent, however, is the one across her forehead, and she didn’t have that when she first arrived in Night City. That wound was sustained on the night of the botched heist at Konpeki Plaza from a large shard of broken glass. 

Favorite

Color: Sky Blue  Hair Color: She tends to be attracted to people with a darker hair color, but it’s far from a requirement.  Song: Valk’s favorite artist of all time is Tom Petty, and her top song from him has got to be Mary Jane’s Last Dance. After that comes every other song Tom Petty has. She enjoys Samurai as well, and listened to a lot of their music in her teen years.  Food: She enjoys nothing more than whatever food she can cook over a campfire, especially since she can control exactly how much burn it has. Valkyrie likes her meals scorched.  Drink: Cinnamon whiskey is Valkyrie’s alcohol of choice, but if she isn’t in the mood to get drunk, she really enjoys lemonade. 

Have They?

Passed University: No. Valkyrie has a high school level education at most. She was mostly educated within the Bakkers clan, but sometimes if there was a public school nearby, her adoptive mother would enroll Valk and her brothers there to try to get them to socialize with other kids outside of the camp. It didn’t really work out that way though, as they preferred to raise all kinds of hell within the school and sleep around with the other kids.  Had Sex: Yes. Valkyrie can be best described as being hedonistic, so she’ll actively seek out anything that can bring her pleasure. Often times, it’s another person.  Had Sex In Public: Yes. It’s actually more of a surprise when she has sex in private.  Gotten Pregnant: Yes! Twice actually! Neither time was planned!  Kissed A Boy: Yes.  Kissed A Girl: Yes.  Gotten Tattoos: Yes. Valkyrie has some pretty extensive floral and geometric tattoos across her chest, upper arms, and back.  Gotten Piercings: Yes. She had some when she was a teen, but she stopped wearing them in years ago. By now they have more than likely closed up.  Been In Love: Yes.  Stayed Up For More Than 24 Hours: She’s done this many times. The entire time she was in Night City she very rarely got any sleep, and was often running on stimulants and fumes. 

Are They?

A Virgin: Absolutely not.  A Cuddler: Yes. Obnoxiously so. Valkyrie is very big on physical affection and contact. If you just need someone to crush you with their full body weight, Valk is your girl.  A Kisser: Yes. Again, she loves physical affection.   Scared Easily: Not really. Valk is actually fairly bombproof. But if you’re actively attempting to scare her, and catch her off guard, you can still expect her to jump a few feet in the air and yelp.  Jealous Easily: No. Valk in a relationship always feels pretty secure, and is trusting of her partner.  Dominant: Valk is a complete and total switch, but she definitely leans more towards dominance.   Submissive: If you earn it, yes. But don’t think you’re gonna be spared from her being a brat.  In Love: Yes. She’s very happy with her SO.  Single: Nope. Happily taken, and is more than content in being exclusive. 

Random Questions? (TW Self Harm/Suicide Mention)

Have They Harmed Themselves: No.  Thought Of Suicide: No.  Attempted Suicide: No.  Wanted To Kill Someone: Yes, and she has killed before, but that has mainly been because it was a part of a gig, in self defense, or in defense of a friend or an ally.  Have/Had A Job: As a merc and a Nomad, Valk’s entire life has consisted of her doing gig type work; performing hits in the city and construction or smuggling jobs out on the road. She’s also worked on a few farms for their planting and harvest seasons, and much prefers that over anything else.  Have Any Fears: Valk only really thrives in a communal setting, and thus has major issues with abandonment and loneliness. She doesn’t take it well when she loses someone she’s close to. She can also get a little claustrophobic when she’s in an enclosed place for extended periods of time. 

Family?

Sibling(s): Valkyrie has one biological brother, and three adoptive ones.  Parent(s): Valkyrie’s biological parents were a couple within a Wraith camp, and she knows absolutely nothing about them. The people she calls mom and dad are the husband and wife that adopted her as their own when she was brought as an infant to the Bakkers camp.  Children: Valkyrie has a son and a daughter, Kaito and Signe-Lynn. Valkyrie decided she wanted a kid after she got married, but Kaito was a honeymoon baby, and she had not been anticipating having a child that early on. After he was born, Valkyrie had decided she was content with just one. But 18 months later, fate proved to have other plans, and Signe-Lynn came along as Valk’s second and final child.  Significant Other: Goro Takemura! It was a rocky and uncertain road getting to marriage and two kids after everything the two of them went through, but Valk considers every second of the struggle to be worth it...And she thinks he’s even more handsome these days with his hair down, a riding jacket, and a little bit of dust.   Pet(s): Valkyrie ended up taking in Nibbles after V moved in with Kerry, but the cat quickly became more like Goro’s pet. Valk’s companion is a male Afghan Hound she ‘liberated’ from some stuffy corpo’s penthouse. Now Flash has more room to run than he knows what to do with, and his favorite pastime is sticking his head out the car window and letting the wind ruffle his long flowing locks. 

[wxlfbites]

The Church of Satan

I can only imagine the amount of criticism and hate I'm going to get for this, so I just want to preface this post by saying that in 2015 I considered myself a LaVeyan Satanist for a while. I was a teenager and felt like what I was reading was exactly how I felt, it gave me a sense of justification for the views I had. I am not just some random, misinformed individual who only read anti-satanism propaganda. In fact, I've still actually never read anti-satanism propaganda. My opinions have been formed based exclusively on what I've read on the Church of Satan's own website. These are of course, my own opinions and people are allowed to disagree... I just think it might be something to think about if you're considering becoming a satanist.

THIS WILL BE AN EXTREMELY LONG POST

Firstly, I'm addressing the membership the Church of Satan is now implementing. ~ While the Church of Satan says that you do not need to become a member in order to consider yourself a satanist, it is clear that they encourage you to do so. It has registration and payment based memberships that allow you access to confidential information, rituals, and online chat groups you are otherwise not entitled to. Their website claims these memberships have always been in place, but I do not remember any such kind in 2015. ~ It is their policy that affiliated members are discouraged from exchanging member-exclusive information with non-members. They also express that if you are a non-member of the church, you should not expect members to keep up extended exchanges or promotion of your wares. Further, your membership is subject to rejection and retraction at their discretion and they openly state that when you apply for a membership, they gather information on you to ensure you are someone safe and trustworthy to allow in. ~ Whether or not it is intentional, they use guilt tactics in order to persuade people into becoming members. To quote some of these phrases on their own website: "Those who proudly carry our red cards identifying themselves as members have the strength and dedication to implement the tools traditionally associated with Satan". "Look to your other possessions and expenses (most people spend far more than this on general entertainment) and we’re certain you can do this if it means something to you to become a member." "We’ve discovered that most individuals can muster these funds if membership is something they truly desire." ~ They describe your membership card as a key that you must show and scan to other members to prove your affiliation. They make a few references to the underground secrecy that members may or may not choose to maintain, and so to protect their identities as members, these... calling cards if you will.. are used to discretely confirm ones membership in the Church. ~ They do not tell you where the money for your registration fee goes. In fact, they say: "That is up to the administration. It will be applied to whatever is most required at the time it is received. If you feel the need to know in more detail, then don’t join." Implying you don't have the right to know exactly where your money goes? ~ Their membership application includes inappropriate questions that no organization, religious or otherwise, should ever ask. These include: " Are you satisfied with your sex life? Describe your ideal of a physically attractive sex partner." "How many years would you like to live?" "In what organizations do you hold membership?" "Are you a smoker? If so, to what extent." "Do you drink alcoholic beverages? If so, to what extent? State preferences." " Secondly, how does satanism compare themselves to other religions and philosophies? ~ The Church of Satan declares themselves to be "a formidable threat to those who would halt progress in the name of spirituality and theism of any sort." "We are a group of dynamic individuals who stand forth as the ultimate underground alternative, the “Alien Elite.” ~ They state things like "Our members and officials will not serve as teachers nor as entertainers—we have neither the time nor the inclination.", "It is our policy not to spoon-feed information to students who are too lazy to do research." and "Your schedule is of no importance to us." so it's no surprise that the satanic texts they do not provide in full on their website, including the Satanic Bible, - which is there main text and one they highly encourage you to read - cost money. ~ They believe themselves to be the only form of satanism, stating: "People who believe in some Devilish supernatural being and worship him are Devil-worshippers, not Satanists.", "Anton LaVey was the first to define Satanism as a philosophy, and it is an atheist perspective." and “Theistic Satanism” is an oxymoronic term and thus absurd." ~ Statements like: "we stand in opposition to theist religions and their

inherent hypocrisy.", [regarding the word Shemhamforash] - "So, Satanists use it for traditional blasphemy’s sake.", [regarding someones question about their experiences with demons] - "Satanists do not believe in demons or other supernatural beings, nor do we believe in spells. Seek help from local mental health professionals to assist you to get over these delusions.", "We Satanists are all anthropologists to some degree and can find that not upsetting people who think in such simplistic and erroneous terms of “belief equals goodness and truthfulness” might be worthwhile to smooth the proceedings in which one is involved. Trying to teach them that they are mistaken in such a belief may not be worth one’s efforts." are pretty much self explanatory as to the lack of consideration satanism has for other religions as being true for others.

~ This statement: "Knowing this, if you choose to affiliate with any pseudo-Satanic or anti-Satanic groups, you may well find yourself disaffiliated from the Church of Satan. Forewarned is forearmed." might sound harmless at first glance, but this kind of reminds me of an isolation tactic where cults discourage their followers to read or engage with opposing or differing opinions because it might open their eyes to the truth of things?

Finally, here are some statements that I personally don't find are morally or ethically okay?

~ In terms of kids worrying about their parents approval the Church says: "Satanism teaches that, so long as you live with your parents, you are in “their lair” and must show them respect". Which... is literally the same shit abuse victims hear all the time..... (example "you live in their house, they're your parents and you should love and respect them no matter what")...

~ "There can be no more myth of “equality” for all—it only translates to “mediocrity” and supports the weak at the expense of the strong." is a statement I just .... wish I were making up at this point.

~"The emotional drive to “change the world” is a common stage of early adult development typically beginning around age 16 and lasting until around age 24. Usually, individuals who become aware as to how the world actually functions—rather than being lost in a fantasy wherein they will be some sort of savior figure—come to realize that idealism (such as changing the world) is less important than the principle of getting what you want for yourself.",

Also! Um.. they are fully aware and okay with people who uphold discriminatory political views....

To quote their website regarding politics: "Our members span an amazing political spectrum, which includes but is not limited to: Libertarians, Liberals, Conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, Reform Party members, Independents, Capitalists, Socialists, Communists, Stalinists, Leninists, Trotskyites, Maoists, Zionists, Monarchists, Fascists, Anarchists, and just about anything else you could possibly imagine."

And to justify this, they say: "Members who demand conformity from other members to their particular political fetish are welcomed to depart.”, "For a Satanist to expect, much less demand, consensus on any given issue, beyond basic advocacy of individual liberty within local laws, is an enterprise which is probably as masochistic as it is insane.", "Some naïve idealists seem to think that the Church of Satan as an organization risks irrelevancy if it does not become an advocate of certain political positions—usually their own pet issues which are assumed “must” be shared by other Satanists. This fear is based upon the assumption that the Church of Satan needs to change the world or risk “fading into obscurity.”

Again, all of this information comes directly from the Church of Satan website itself. It it not "propaganda". It comes from their own mouths. You're free to disagree with my interpretation and views of the above. But if you do agree, I'd love to know.

The things above make me uneasy. They give me huge cult vibes and are actually disappointing to read as someone who once considered themselves a satanist. As an omnistic pagan now, I do believe that all religions hold truths within them and can say that there are certain things within satanism I do agree with. But overall, I feel like calling satanism a religion is a stretch and should be joined with caution if it's something you are really interested in. I am only one person, I can't tell anyone what to do. But if you were considering becoming a satanist but hold values and views that the things in this post opposed or were opposite to, then maybe satanism isn't right for you. It's definitely not right for me.

I hope this post was educational at the very least. I hope that it might help people make a decision either way if they were interested in joining the Church.

[faranae]

Do you think it's possible, on a weird inversion of what normally happens, to technically be part off the queer community, but not feel like one is at all? So, I'm pretty sure I'm demi ace, and I've been aware of it since I was pretty much a young child (without the proper terminology of course). And every pride month, I always feel more like an ally than a part of it. I'm not bothered by it! But it always takes me by surprise to be reminded that people consider me part of the community when I just don't quite feel I am. Not because anyone has made me feel like I'm not welcomed. But I feel there's something fundamental that is part of the queer experience I've just never lived myself. I've never felt broken, never felt unloved. My family knows, and while I still get the occasional comment on how I just haven't found the right person, it's quite honestly more just a minor annoyance than anything that might make me feel bad about myself. I don't naturally gravitate to LGBTQ+ spaces and I don't feel confident speaking about queer topics because it feels like it's not my place at all. My sexuality (or lack thereof) is such a small part of my life, that I feel I've dedicated more energy to fandom than I've ever to anything ace related. While it feels like being queer is such a huge part to so many people, to me it's just a fun fact about me. I see so many things that seem to be universally experienced by the community, even if it's just the need for the sense of belonging itself. Could it be that I get that feeling from another part of my life so I just don't crave it in this one aspect? And here it's not me asking to be told that I'm valid and that I belong or any sort of reassurance. I don't know. I don't particularly feel inclined to participate, and not because I feel any contempt or hesitance about it. It just doesn't feel it's for me. And I think that's ok! I don't know if there's any true objective of me sending this to you. I guess your post just got me thinking, haha!

I hope such a short response to such a long ask* is alright, but it really does just sound to me like you're comfortable where you're at in that respect. (Hell yeah!)

I know you don't need any reassurances per se, but this was great food for thought and I wanted to take a minute to say something (sort of) on a similar matter because I know a fair number of folks on here (of all ages) are still figuring stuff out on their own. The rest of this post is more just some extra, tangential thoughts.

-

Pride, at least in terms of the LGBTQA+ community, is... A lot more complicated than we give it credit for! Not just in what it is, but also how it feels.

It can feel to some like an obligation, a "union due" of sorts. To others, it's a philosophy and subsection of the human experience to be studied. To the oppressed or liberated it can represent a call to action. To the lonely, it's found-family and/or a sense of belonging. Others still just really love the excuse to party hard and make the bigots Big Mad.

To many of these people and those with similar perspectives, Pride is active: something to be pursued, preserved, or defended. 

On the other hand, it can be just another small passive aspect of our day-to-day lives. Make no mistake, this is definitely a massive privilege, but it's still not any less important than the experiences of anyone else just because it's not sourced in hardships and oppression or some other metric. 

(Personally, I love to see it. Whether you're a community elder or a Mil-Z, it's a privilege that ours and previous generations of queer folk have been fighting for you to have the right to experience.)

So yeah! Just because we're in one "family", doesn't mean we're obligated to ship out to every gathering, or hang the family crest over the threshold, or feel a swell of pride whenever it's acknowledged. Sometimes a Smith is just a Smith (or Kowalski, Chen, Andersson, Cruz, I was aiming for common surname placeholders but you get the point).

Though this is of course just my take on it!

Thanks for reaching out Nonny, it sounds sappy but I have such an appreciation for folks willing to share when their experiences differ from a perceived status quo. You may not have needed any encouragement or validation, but I hope you don't mind my using this as an opportunity to extend that gesture to others who may need to hear it.

As always, take care of yourselves and be kind. :)

*On another, completely unrelated note: How the hell is this ask so long? I thought the ask limit was 500 characters? What? What?? How??????

[kurowrites]

In Agreement - Chapter 2

Wei Wuxian looked up from the book he had been reading when Lan Wangji entered the Jingshi, and smiled faintly.

“So late, oh husband mine,” he sang. “What kept you for so long?”

“The sect leaders have failed to reach an agreement,” Lan Wangji replied, suppressing the deep sigh that threatened to escape his chest as he closed the door of the Jingshi carefully. He certainly did not want to have any unannounced visitors tonight, not after he had been forced to attend the sect leader meeting all day.  

“Oh, and that surprises you?” Wei Wuxian asked, laughing. “You know they’re all quarrelsome children at heart. Not your brother, though. He’s the only amiable person in this bunch, and I pity him.”

“Your family is attending, as well,” Lan Wangji observed.

Wei Wuxian laughed again.

“That’s exactly why I’m so confident in my assessment. There’s not a fight Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu aren’t itching to take.”

“You did not want to join them?”

“Aiyo, Lan Zhan, what are you thinking?” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, closing his book and putting it away. “I know my duty to my husband. I also know that you don’t get to eat during these events because they’re too busy shouting at each other. So I, dutiful husband that I am, have taken it upon myself to make sure your physical needs are taken care of.”

He reached out to a piece of cloth laid out on the table in front of him, and removed it to reveal a tray of food underneath.

“I thought you must be very hungry by now, so I had the servants prepare this. Aren’t I a good husband?”

The food did indeed look good, and it was exactly what Lan Wangji wanted right now. Wei Wuxian was right. Though food had been served, Lan Wangji had found himself unable to eat in such a stressful environment, surrounded by so much noise. And somehow, Wei Wuxian had anticipated that.

Grateful, he walked over to the low table and sat down opposite of Wei Wuxian, who encouraged him to eat with a smile.

He ate the meal in silence as he usually did, aware of Wei Wuxian’s eyes on him. He was probably curious to hear about Lan Wangji’s day, about the topics that had been discussed by the sect leaders, since Wei Wuxian had not attended, but spent the day with a group of juniors just learning how to ride their swords.

In Lan Wangji’s opinion, Wei Wuxian had been given the better option.

“Your brother is worried about you,” Lan Wangji said once his bowls and plates were empty. “He kept looking at me, though he did not say anything.”

“A-Cheng was harassing you?” Wei Ying chuckled. “What a terrible child. I have been sending him many letters so that he won’t be lonely, he knows I’m fine!”

“You should spend some time with him tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” Wei Wuxian replied. His mouth ticked up into a teasing smile. “And then, hopefully, he stops glaring at you.”

He stood up and spirited the empty tray away. When he returned, he looked at Lan Zhan with a considering gaze.

“You look tired,” he observed.

It was something that Lan Zhan had come to observe more and more recently: for all his teasing and joking, Wei Wuxian seemed to be extremely attuned to any of Lan Wangji’s moods, always seemed to know how he was feeling. Since most people were generally unable to read his moods, and often confused his silence with anger, and his anger with indifference, this was an astonishing feat.

It was much more difficult for him to read Wei Wuxian, since he was usually either smiling or laughing.

He stood up from his seat and walked over to where Wei Wuxian was standing, and gave him the hug that he had promised him on the night of their marriage.

Lan Zhan had come to crave it. Whenever he returned home in the evening, it had become a way of ridding himself of the exertions of the day. The close contact to another human being, something he had once abhorred, had become something precious now. Wei Wuxian’s body fit perfectly against his own, and the easy way in which he yielded to Lan Wangji’s embrace was as sweet as sugar on his tongue.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian sighed, patting his back, stroking it in large circles as if he was an animal to be petted. “Let’s get you a bath, and then bed.”

“Wei Ying?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve already taken mine.” Wei Wuxian smiled and stepped back. “The bathtub is all yours.”

Lan Wangji tried not to feel a pang of disappointment. It might be deceitful of him to secretly enjoy it, but he had come to enjoy Wei Wuxian’s liberality when it came to undressing himself. The little glimpses he caught, of bare shoulders and a long, graceful neck, should not feel this tantalising, his rational mind reminded him. But that did little to calm his feelings whenever he accidentally caught sight of Wei Wuxian’s disrobed figure as he entered or left the bath.  

His night robe too often remained half-untied after his bath, revealing a smooth sliver of skin almost all the way down to his navel, and Lan Wangji found himself hard-pressed not to notice the inviting sight. Particularly when Wei Wuxian laid down to sleep right next to Lan Wangji, and the robe slipped to reveal… more of his chest.

Lan Wangji smothered another sigh and banned such thoughts from his mind. Scolding himself for his own foolishness, he moved behind the privacy screen and readied himself for the bath. He could hear Wei Wuxian putter around, evidently readying the bath for Lan Wangji, and indulged in a short moment of contentedness.

This was not quite what he had expected when he married Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian’s constant teasing still a vivid memory in his mind, he had anticipated more of that. More irritation, at least.

But even though Wei Wuxian was as much of a little devil as he had always been, his teasing of Lan Wangji seemed to have softened, if one could say that. He never made Lan Wangji actually angry anymore, and even when he did tease Lan Wangji, he often teased him by referring to himself as ‘Lan Wangji’s dutiful husband.’ That, Lan Wangji felt, was no teasing at all. It was the truth. Wei Wuxian was good at anticipating Lan Wangji’s wants and needs. He was a good husband.

His uncle would not agree, because Wei Wuxian did have a habit of bending the rules and smuggling alcohol into Cloud Recesses, but Lan Wangji had by now learned to be a little more lenient.

Wei Wuxian had been forced to leave his home and separate from his family; he was not required to follow every single last rule of Gusu Lan.

Lan Wangji’s memory of his own mother remained impressed strongly onto his mind. Wei Wuxian should not feel like a prisoner here. Never that.

He took the bath that Wei Wuxian had prepared for him, and when he returned to the Jingshi proper, now in a state of comfortable relaxation, he found Wei Wuxian seated back at the table, reading the same book as before.

Lan Wangji decided to take a seat next to Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian looked up from his book, giving Lan Wangji a slightly confused smile.

“What about Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asked. “How was your day?”

“Well, dearest husband,” Wei Wuxian chuckled and leaned in, invading Lan Wangji’s space with a catlike smile.

(There was the not-teasing again, Lan Wangji thought to himself.)

“I put a lot of nonsense into your little ducklings’ heads. They are so eager to learn! It’s adorable. Makes you want to squish their little cheeks and teach them terrible, terrible things.”

“Wei Ying is a good teacher.”

Wei Wuxian jerked back a little, as it the compliment had taken him by surprise.

“Why, Lan Zhan!” he exclaimed. “If your uncle could hear that!”

“I have known it since before. You were always willing to help instruct others.”

Wei Wuxian huffed and waved his hand.

“Not that it did a lot of good. Nie Huaisang still floundered somewhere at the very bottom.”

Lan Wangji held in a sigh. Nie Huaisang, indeed.

“Nie Huaisang’s academic… successes are no reflection of the skill of his teacher,” he eventually replied. “Rather, it is a reflection of his own character.”

“Harsh, Lan Zhan. I thought the two of you were friends.” Wei Ying laughed and put his book away before he stood up. “Come on, let’s sleep. To answer your question, I had fun. They are so easy to handle, and they eagerly swallow every little morsel of knowledge that you feed them. It’s fun to teach the junior disciples. Much better than thinking impolite thoughts about stuffy sect leaders all day, that’s for sure.”

Lan Zhan quietly agreed with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian had been given the better option.

“I will go with you tomorrow, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian promised as they laid down to sleep. “So A-Cheng can finally stop bullying you with angry glares. How he can glare at such a handsome face, though, I will never know.”

He had probably built up an immunity by years of exposure to Wei Wuxian’s handsome face, Lan Wangji thought. If Wei Wuxian’s best doe eyes had ceased to work on Jiang Cheng, there was little else that would manage to impress the man.

He hooked his arm around Wei Wuxian and pulled him closer, until he had the weight of Wei Wuxian’s body right where he wanted it; a safe, soft press against his side.

“Goodnight, Wei Ying,” he mumbled into Wei Wuxian’s hair, and was out like a light before Wei Wuxian had even time to reply.

[purplesurveys]

1279

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends?  I don’t keep contact.

Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual?  Hmmmm, I don’t think so. I feel like that would be the type of comment that would get to me so I definitely would’ve remembered it.

Would you get a lip piercing?  I don’t plan on getting any piercings.

Nose piercing?  Nopes.

What are you currently waiting for?  For this fucking day to end so I can be closer to Thursday and to the weekend.

Do you have feelings for anyone?  Nah.

Have you ever run over an animal?  Nope. I’ve had extremely close calls with animals who suddenly dart into the road, but fortunately these have all been situations wherein I got to hit the brakes with nobody behind me.

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?  That’s disgusting, no.

When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’?  Sure, out of habit and just to be polite.

When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle?  I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bouncy castle, but I’ve been on a lot of bouncy other things haha, like inflatable slides, soccer balls, Anpanmans, etc. The last time would probably be a nearly a decade ago; I definitely haven’t been near one in a while.

Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk?  Well no, because the ones I’ve been on were situated in school fairs, which is the last place I would want to be drunk in.

Have you ever entered an art competition?  No, I have no justification to join one haha.

What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. < Same. 

What is one food that you detest?  Pineapples.

Did you have a rebellious phase growing up?  Yeah I was a bit of a handful to raise, but I’m in firm in my stance that it had a lot to do with the way I was raised. I grew up mostly without a father figure because my dad worked abroad and I felt neglected by my mom who had her own shit to deal with. There was no stable support system to lean on, so I ended up lashing out a lot in my puberty years. Unfortunately everyone else just saw a rebellious child and not a plea for help.

These days when I show off my achievements on social media, I’ll see congratulatory comments from my mom’s friends and she’ll usually go on about some “late bloomers grow with time” narrative and it pisses me off because nobody knows how much I’ve had to grow and mature and learn how to be happier all by myself, all from scratch. If I had just received the proper care and attention early on, I wouldn’t have had to do any catching up to begin with.

What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic.

Are you still that religion?  Jesus no. I darted out of there as soon as I gained the consciousness to think about these sorts of things.

Do you often find yourself questioning your future?  Sometimes, but I do my best to not let it get to me.

How many friends do you have on Facebook?  Over 670.

What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?  I started with punk rock in the first half of high school, so I had my Rancids, H2Os, Against Me!s, Cro-Mags, etc on my iPod. It evolved a little bit towards more indie, folksy sounds towards the latter half - Banks, alt-J, Hozier, Twenty One Pilots - which I largely attribute to the crowd I was part of at the time.

What pet names do you use with your significant other?  I’m pretty straightforward so baby works out for me. Other, more specific pet names just grow naturally with the relationship, I think.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries?  S&R.

Have you ever seen a theatre show?  Yeah. Most of them have been required.

What’s your favourite vegetable?  Broccoli or bell peppers.

Have you ever missed a flight?  Never. I’ve experienced several delayed flights, though, which is always such a hassle especially if the delays happen in provincial airports since they never have any recreational offers to keep passengers from getting bored other than TVs that run the same damn five ads.

Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them?  Yeah, a lot of have dogs. I’ve met some.

What color is your bedroom door?  Brown.

If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans?  Only towards obsessive ones who wouldn’t give me time to breathe or would go so far so as to stalk me or my loved ones. But I am a fan too, so I imagine I would actually be understanding of those who would ask for pictures or whatever as long as they were polite and not at all intrusive.

Have you ever met your favourite band/singer?  Nah. I am terrified of meeting celebrities HAHA so I’ve always shut down the chance. I’m pretty sure I would actually turn down the chance to meet BTS if I hypothetically suddenly got the magic keys to that door.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like?  No. I feel like that sort of thing just happens in like high school, when your friends are still a bit judgmental. Nowadays I don’t see why I should be embarrassed of anything I like, especially if it’s not hurting anyone.

Have you ever written a story?  I’ve made attempts but was always terrible.

Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it?  My homework that required me to write said poem hahaha.

Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? 

What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child?  Watching commercials at night. It’s still a slight fear of mine but it’s mostly dissipated now.

Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you?  About me? No. I don’t have a lot of those since I was a really shy kid who barely moved a finger anyway.

In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show?  I have a *really* soft spot for Perfect Strangers, which I actually revisited yesterday :) The show was never super popular so it’s near impossible to find clips online, but when I checked YouTube I did see a slight increase in short snippets from the show so I had a really fun time binge-watching yesterday.

What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have?  Three, but that’s pushing it. Ideally, I’d have two so my first would have company.

Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness?  Mental ones, yes.

Are you comfortable with who you are?  For the most part, yes.

Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it?  No. Why would it be any of their business?

Does popularity matter to you at all?  I mean, yeah in the sense that I honestly aspire to be well-liked by as many people as possible. But I don’t necessarily want to rub shoulders with popular kids.

Would you ever consider homeschooling your children?  Continued from sometime this week ider. No. I don’t think I’m capable of teaching, and generally I’d want them to be able to learn in a more open environment where they can have regular contact with different kinds of people.

Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to?  Well Angela got into them first and since we’re best friends, there was a certain point where she just decided to loop me into conversations that involved them. I was impossible to sway for a long time, but then one day a video compilation of them showed up on my feed, and for some reason I actually watched it, and I watched all the way through, and I was immediately intrigued – particularly by J-Hope haha. I then asked Angela to tell me more about them and the rest was...financially irresponsible history HAHAHAHA

Do you ever read fanfiction?  OMG yes. Funny you should mention that because my favorite author uploaded a brand new fic this morning, which I obviously couldn’t get to all day because I had to go to work. I’ll be reading it in all its 44,000-word glory tonight :D

Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire?  Plane crash. Instant and mostly painless.

What are your top five favourite TV shows?  Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends, The Crown even though I was never able to continue it since...andddd that’s all I got.

What is your favorite superhero movie?  Not a fan of superhero movies.

If you died next week, what would be the cause of death?  Stress from overworking. I’ve FINALLY started to consider taking a leave for the first time this year because I’ve just realized just how fucking exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed I actually already am from having no rest at all in the last 13 months.

Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why?  Yes, I do mass deactivations when I’m severely depressed. These days I can’t really afford to that anymore, though, since my work is closely tied to social media.

Who is the most talented person you know?  Probably Andi.

Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with?  No.

Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? 

Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened?  Nah. I’ve had two people like me at the same time, but there was never any tension to watch out for since they mostly didn’t know each other.

Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened?  I think they know I dated Gabie and that we broke up because they’ve stopped asking about her. Everyone knew we were best friends, so the fact that they’ve avoided her as a topic for a whole year is able to tell me something.

Are your parents more liberal or conservative?  Dad’s on the liberal side, mom dances around on the spectrum a little bit. I know she’s fine with things like tattoos and having LGBTQ+ co-workers, but she’s also conservative especially towards matters like religion.

What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year?  No longer in school.

How far away does your closest family member live?  A few footsteps away.

If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland?  It’s not my type of movie/genre to begin with.

Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not?  Yes. I don’t see the big deal; I’ve already done it anyway.

Are you more liberal or conservative?  Liberal.

Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?  Ooh not sure. I haven’t gone back to the books in a while, so I don’t remember if there was anyone I had an attachment to.

What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry?  Nothing.

What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done?  Had sex...I guess? And a bunch of stuff that comes with it.

Name something that you are against.  Racial discrimination.

Why are you against it?  Because it is infuriating to see, and it shows me the very same treatment can happen to me or my family as well and that scares me, especially since some people turn particularly violent towards people of color.

Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games?  No.

Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  I imagine I wouldn’t enjoy it if I’m not as into whoever my next partner would be.

Beatles or Rolling Stones?  I don’t listen to either.

When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody?  Not so sure about a whole change in opinion because that hasn’t happened in a while, but I grew more grateful for my manager today because I finally mustered the strength to tell her that I’m begin to struggle mentally with work and she not only encouraged (read: begged) me to file a damn leave for once, but she also got sushi delivered to my place.

What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why?  Andi was telling me about their day today and how they handled being misgendered by a prof, who then proceeded to throw a fit when he got corrected, and how they, again, maturely handled said fit. I was proud of them because there are a million ways that incident could’ve turned out, but they dealt with it in an extremely mature and calm manner considering they were the one who was wronged.

Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you?  If it was about an extremely personal problem I would probably be taken aback at first, but I still would definitely make some time for them and help in however way I can, since they apparently trust me enough to confide.

What was the last thing to fascinate you?  The music video for My Universe! Super cool to watch and I love that they made a short film out of it too.

Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you?  Doors being slammed shut, because that’s what my mom does when she’s furious. She did that when I was a kid and she does it to this day, so I get extremely nervous when I hear the sound, even if it happens by accident.

Do you have a favourite microorganism? Nope.

Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next?  My cousin Bree.

If you have pet fish do you bother to name them?  I did when I had them as a kid.

Do you keep your eggs in the fridge?  Yes?

Have you ever owned chickens?  Nope.

When did you last listen to music?  Like five minutes ago. I tried to have a jazz playlist on but I realized I wasn’t in the mood for music so I changed my background noise to have a random VLive on instead.