#I still feel very uncomfortable watching people drink but I'm not having panic attacks

[xanonymouscatharsisx]

Cw: mention of physical violence, abuse

Holidays f**king suck...

My mom asked me earlier this week what I wanted for Christmas. Now... I hate Christmas... So much. So this is particularly awful at the moment.

I've been trying to trace back, and I try this every few years or so, exactly when Christmas started sucking, and I honestly can't fully place it. My guess is when my brother started drinking and I'm not entirely sure WHEN that was. There's a weird chunk of time that I don't fully remember. That could be from a number of things.

Almost every year, something would happen. And for a lot of these I was sent out of the room, or it was taken to another room, so I don't exactly have details, but they still impacted me. I wanted so very much to believe we had a family that got along very well.

I was the kid that tried to get family game night together and no one wanted to or even saw any benefit in spending time together. I'm just now realizing this has impacted other parts of my life so hard... So that's fun.

I do remember one year my dad and brother almost came to actual physical fighting. They did not actually fight, but the possibility was there. Honestly, this complicates how I feel about a lot of it too since physical violence is typically a deal breaker. Not just for me but in society in general. And it's definitely what has kept me in a few relationships because it wasn't physical so it didn't count, right?

There are so few years that nothing happened that I can hardly remember any of them, and everything that has happened over the years kind of blends together. The most I remember is watching movies in the basement because someone was recovering from surgery. That was a pretty chill year.

After the great colour showing that my brother had one year I stopped spending time with my family for the holidays. I have a mix of emotions over this. For one thing, I feel safer being not with them, so that is probably the biggest factor.

I do also feel guilty. This is supposed to be the time you spend with family, reconnecting, it's supposed to be joyous, but how can you feel joyous and want to spend time when they make you feel bad about... Well, everything. Weight, looks, career status... That's not joyous. So I do what brings me joy and play video games. (Much of the time)

I feel very insecure. Finding friends who are willing and able to take you in for holidays can be daunting, even if you have some of the most extremely inviting friends. It's still so intimidating to ask. And even one I had to avoid because of similar issues.

Also to be perfectly honest the whole religious thing has a part to play here. Which... I guess it's sort of obvious considering Christmas itself is a religious holiday.

We went to midnight mass one year. I think we did both Easter and Christmas, and after getting home at like 6am from Christmas I vowed never again. They made us go outside and our weather where I am is very very cold.

But it also brings up the history of the church as it relates to Indigenous people and that has always been uncomfortable at the very least. Why are we celebrating a tool that was used to harm us? And that whole line of questioning is super exhausting.

I have tried reframing Christmas. So it's not all bad. And right now I have people around me ready and willing to make new better memories but there is 30+ years of history here and it's hard to just jump in feet first enthusiastically. I think I've trained myself to be ready to be disappointed.

Back to panic attacks... The problem is I really just want one thing from them. I want to not have them in my life. But they are currently helping me, so I can't do that. So I was going to ask for something to continue to help me in the future, which... Hasn't exactly yielded any answers yet.

While I've been staving off panic attacks from her text, they've been making the headaches worse. I got my eyes checked, which also didn't help. And then my dad called... And then another text from my mom today, followed by a call from their home, then their son, then their home again. So it's... Been a day. My brain already feels like it's in jello, and then this triggers panic too. I am exhausted.

[crayonurchin]

The biggest way my OCD has manifested is an obsessive belief that if people drink alcohol, it’s a sure sign they’re suicidally depressed, and if I don’t either remove the alcohol or constantly monitor the well being of people, then it’ll be my fault when they kill themselves.

We’re having Sunday roast in a couple hours, and I just bought my parents a bottle of white wine to go with it.

Recovery can happen <3

[alohastyles-x]

So I just had a panic attack in work in front of my manager, coworkers and a load of customers (im a waitress) and I was wondering how would druig and probably makkari with him, how they'd react if they were customers at a restaurant and saw their server having a panic attack

Just cause it would be nice to see how people should react and ik druig and makkari would be amazing! xx

First of all- I hope you are doing okay love!! I served for 3 days before quitting because I had a panic attack each shift in front of everyone, so I fully understand how you feel!! Hugs to you <3 <3 Anxiety is the absolute worse and I'm so sorry you struggle with this too :(

Pairing: Druig x Makkari x GN! reader (they/them pronouns if any will be used)

Summary: You have a panic attack while working as a server. Druig and Makkari over hear/see and help you.

Warnings: descriptive anxiety attack, rude people, language.

Druig Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist | Wattpad |

Working a double shift today was the worst idea you could have imagined... but you needed the money. It was a crazy day, the busiest one the restaurant has had this week. You were running on very little adrenaline, trying your hardest to push through the rest of the shift.

"Hi, my name is Y/N, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you guys started to drink?" You asked your next table. There were two people sitting there, one a dark and brooding man, the other a light and airy female. Two polar opposites.

"We'll just have waters," the man said to you, as he watched what the lady in front of him signed to him. You smiled, before walking back to the kitchen to fill their cups with water.

Suddenly, an all to familiar feeling rushed over you as you filled the glasses. You heart sunk to your stomach, and your breath hitched in your throat. The uncomfortable feeling only intensified, but you tried your hardest to brush it off, trying to remember the techniques your therapist taught you. You took three deep breaths, before walking to the table.

"Here you go, are you guys ready to order?" You asked, your speech rushed as your face flushed from the anxiety writhing away in your stomach.

The customers in front of you began talking, but you didn't hear a word they said, as their faces blurred, your vision starting to go in and out. It felt like you couldn't breathe, and you began to hyperventilate.

"Hey, hey, hey," a soothing, deep voice suddenly spoke in your ear, as a flood of peace and serenity flooded your body. You felt your body go limp against the body behind you, as they held you closely.

"You're okay... you're safe... you're okay..." he repeated in your ear, until you finally felt better enough to lean forward to see who the affirmations belonged too. It was the dark and brooding man from your table, who was smiling at you. To your left was the girl, holding your hand, stroking her thumb against it.

"Oh my god, Y/N! Are you okay?" It was your manager. They rushed over, kneeling in front of you, worry evident in their eyes.

"Yes, I think so, thanks to..." you trailed off, pointing to the two customers.

"I'm Druig, this is Makkari," he said, pointing to the woman still holding your hand.

"Thank you Druig, Makkari, your meal is on the house, and Y/N, please just take the day off. You've been overworking yourself for weeks now," your manager said, pulling you in for a hug. You hugged them back, while glancing around the restaurant. You were thankful that everyone seemed to be minding their business, or offering you a comforting smile.

When your manager released you, you turned to the couple behind you.

"Thank you Druig, Makkari. My anxiety... it just gets really bad sometimes, and a little too out of control," you say, getting a little embarrassed.

"It's okay, I understand." Druig said and Makkari nodded.

"Why don't you join us for lunch? I'm sure you could use the break to just sit and eat, maybe make some new friends," Druig translated for Makkari, as she gave you the biggest smile she could.

"That would be nice, yeah," you smiled back, grateful for their kindness.

Please remember to always take care of yourself first <3 and my inbox is always open for anyone who needs to talk!! I hope you're having a better day today anon- you have all my love and support! <3

[folkreid]

what if they don’t like me

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT IN NO WAY AM I TRYING TO MAKE JJ SEEM LIKE A BAD PERSON OR ANYTHIJG I LOVE HER

Today's the day! I'm so excited. I'll be meeting Spencer's team. We've been dating for almost eight months, the team barley found out about me. Spencer wanted our relationship to be private, he said if the team found out about me they would ask too many questions.

I'm so excited to meet them! I can not wait. I met his mother maybe four months ago. She was lovely.

I finish off my makeup with some lipstick. Okay I look good. Right amount of cleavage, right amount of makeup. My heels aren't to high which is really good, I could hardly walk in them.

Spencer comes from behind me wrapping his arms around me. "You ready my love?" he asks putting his head on my shoulder. "Yeah I am" I reply with a sigh. "What's wrong babe?" he asks noticing my dreary mood. "What if they don't like me?" I look at the mirror, looking at him. He kissed my temple. "They're going to love you" he whispered.

I nod. "Okay i'm ready". He grabs my coat handing it to me, I put it on over my dress. He holds my hand as we walk to his car together. He opens my door, I sit down and he closes it for me.

The drive is mainly silent besides the radio. I hum along to the song that was playing trying to relax my nerves. "Why are you bouncing your leg?" he puts his hand over mine that was on my thigh.

I didn't even notice I was doing that. "I don't know"

He squeezed my hand. "Are you still nervous?" he asks looking over at me for a second. "Kind of, what if they question us because of my age"

Spencer and I were 10 years apart. He is 30 and i'm 20. We've gotten a lot of negative responses about our age gap. Mainly from my family. My mom didn't approve. My sister said I was dating him because he was older and I needed male validation since my dad wasn't in my life. Why are they so terrible. I'm happy with Spencer, I don't care how old he is.

"Hey, I don't care what they think of us, i'm happy alright" I nod slowly.

We arrive to the house. Woah it's a really big house. Spencer said the house was big. I didn't think it would be a mansion though.

Spencer comes over to me and opens my door.

I get out and hold his hand. I feel myself getting nervous. I have some issues with being around people. I get social anxiety pretty badly. I don't go out anymore, last time I went out to eat in public I had a panic attack.

We walk to the front door of the house.

Spencer knocks on the door, we wait for someone to answer. An older man answers. I'm guessing the owner of this house. "Spencer you're here!" the man smiles giving him a hug. I stand there awkwardly. "Uh Rossi this is Y/n, my girlfriend" he introduced me. I wave to him. "You don't shake hands either ?" he asked. I do shake hands but I usually feel really uncomfortable being touched. "I-I um" I stutter. "She does but she gets kind of uncomfortable with people she just met" Spencer explains. Rossi nods and welcomes me in. "Come in Y/n" he smiles.

I walk in and see two other men and three women. One of them was very colorful. Penelope I presume. Spencer leads me to the group. "Guys this is my girlfriend, Y/n. Y/n this is Hotch, JJ, Derek, Emily, and Penelope" both Emily and JJ give me weird looks. Penelope runs over to me and hugs me. "Oh my god! I've been so excited to meet you" she squeals. I look over to Spencer feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Garcia, Y/n isn't really fond of touch" he tells her. Penelope pulls away looking sorry. "I am so sorry angel" she says. "No it's totally fine" I whisper, they could hardly hear me. My parents used to scream at me about not talking loud enough.

"Okay well let's eat" Rossi says. I sat down at the end of the table, Spencer to my right and no one on my left. We begin to eat, I slightly here JJ and Emily whispering. I hear them say my name. I begin shifting in my seat. Spencer noticed and holds my hand under the table doing the dumb thing. "You okay love?" he whispers. "Yeah I um, I just need to use the restroom" I tell him. He nods. "I'm going to show Y/n the restroom" he excuses us.

"Here it is babe" he says. "You want me to wait for you?" he asked me. "No it's fine Spencer" he nods and heads back to the table.

I sit on the corner of the bath tub with my face in my hands. I just need to calm down. Breathe in and out. In and out. I feel myself calm down after about three minutes. I go look into the mirror. Do I look like I cried? No okay good.

I step out, I stop at the corner when I hear my name mentioned. "How old is Y/n" I look over the wall to see JJ asking about my age. "She's twenty" he casually says. I adore him. He's never made me feel bad for being younger, or not being as smart as him. "Spencer that's a child" Derek told him.

I walk out to the table. "I'm not a child" I say. They all look over to me. I take my seat next to Spencer. "I would never take advantage of someone younger than me" Spencer says. "Spencer we know but she's so young" Emily comments.

"I'm right here you don't have to refer as me as she" I sternly say. Hotch, Penelope and Rossi just watch this unfold. JJ rolls her eyes at me. "Okay well Y/n, why are you dating such and older guy, if you aren't dating guys you're age theres a reason why" Derek said to me.

"I um- I don't care if Spencer is two years older or twenty years older, i'm happy with him the age doesn't matter" I say holding Spencer's hand. "Are you sure it's not to maybe make you feel better" the blonde said. "What are you implying" Spencer snaps.

"That she has daddy issues and you're just there to fill that whole in her heart" Emily continued off of JJ's comment. "I think if they're happy we should leave them alone" Penelope speaks for the first time since the conversation started. "Yeah but he should be happy with someone his own age" JJ said. I get up and walk outside.

I sit on the curb crying into my knees. "Y/n" I hear a voice perk. I look over my shoulder to see Penelope. "Y/n come back inside please, we don't want anything to happen to you" she says implying to the fact that it was dark outside and there were suspicious men on the news around this area.

"Maybe you don't want me to get hurt, the others hate me" I cry into my shirt. "Please just come inside". I give in and walk back into the house.

"You guys made her cry! For what?! Just because she's younger than me!" I see Spencer yell at the three who were questioning me.  Hotch and Rossi were in the back having some drinks.

"Spence" JJ starts. "No I don't want to hear it Jennifer!" he storms my way grabbing my hand and pulling me to the car. "Goodbye Y/n" Penelope called from the front of the house. I look back and give her a quick wave.

I get into the car and Spencer starts driving. He was gripping the stealing wheel hard. He was mad. "Spence?" I whisper. He hummed in response. "Are you mad at me?" he looks over to me the second those words left my mouth. He puts his hand on my thighs stroking it gently. "Of course not my love, i'm  mad at them" he gently told me. I nod. "So now what?" I ask. "Now we just ignore what they have to say. I'm never going to leave you, I love you so much" he smiles. "I love you too" I hold his hand.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. "I'm fine, I liked the way you yelled at them" I slightly giggled. He smiled. "I will yell at anyone any day to defend you" he reaches over and kisses me. We were at a red light.

—————————

THE NEXT MORNING

I hear talking in the kitchen, I wonder who it is. I go over and peek over the corner. It was Spencer and JJ. "I'm sorry for saying shit to your girlfriend Spence" she apologizes. Spencer just takes a sip of his water. "The truth is, I guess I was a little jealous" she laughs. He choked on his water. "J-Jealous?" he asked.

She nods and slightly laughed. "Spencer, I love you, like more than a friend love you" she confess. I feel my self get sick to my stomach. He told me when he was younger he had a crush on her. What if old feelings come back. I rush to the restroom and vomit into the toilet.

I hear footsteps rush to me. "Are you okay" Spencer acts. I slightly sob, i've always hated throwing up. I look up at Spencer and JJ was standing next to him with her hand on his arm. "I'm fine" I mumble. They both stand their for a moment. "Can you guys get out please!" I snap at them. They leave and I brush my teeth and go back to the kitchen.

"Do you think Y/n is pregnant?" JJ asked Spencer. "No there's no way she is" he sighs. "What if a condom ripped or something" she said touching his arm once again. I don't care if she was trying to comfort him.

"No, she can't be because we've never had sex" he mumbled. Her facial expressions changes to shock. "Oh" she simply says. I clear my throat making them notice me. "Are you okay babe?" he asked. "Yeah i'm fine, JJ weren't you saying something earlier?" I ask. She looks at me confused. "What are you talking about Y/n" she tilts her head. I cross my arms. "Spencer I love you, like more than a friend love you" I mock her voice. She clenched her jaw and looks towards Spencer. "I'm gonna leave" she grabs her things and walks out the door.

"Why did you do that!" he yells at me. "Why are you yelling at me?" I head towards our bedroom. "Talk about what she said, now it's going to be awkward around her!" he screams.

"Well you're the one who was letting her be all up on you! After she said that when you guys came to check up on me she was holding your arm! A-And you used to have feelings for her and you probably still do" I cry.

I see his face soften. "Babe" he starts. I look up at him. "I didn't even realize she was touching me, I was to focused on you" he tells me.

"Really?" I say hopefully. "Yes baby" he hugs me and kisses the top of my head. "I don't have feelings for her, you're the only person I love okay?" I nod.

[katblu42]

Tie Me to the Moon

Installment 4 (of 5) in my Whump Wheel spinning experiment. This spin was for John and gave me Cuddling For Comfort and Cemetery.

It is another Young Tracys fic, but it requires some WARNINGS as it deals with grief/mourning, funerals and of course a cemetery. I'm also tagging for social anxiety, sensory overload and panic attack, although I'm not entirely sure exactly what I'm putting John through. If there's any additional warning or tag I need please let me know (or if these ones don't hit the mark).

Possibly more angst than whump.

The day started early. Scott had spoken with John and Virgil the night before about how much he was relying on them both to help get Alan and Gordon ready, since Grandma and Dad would both have a lot on their plate. So, John had set the alarm for 6am to give them time to wake themselves up before tackling the tinies.

By 9am all five boys were awake and fed and dressed in their Sunday best, shoes shined and hair combed awaiting final inspection before the cars arrived to take them to the church. Normally it would have been Dad who inspected the troops before such an important occasion but, like many other things over the last week or so, today the job was taken on by Scott. He left no stray hair or speck of lint unscrutinised, while their father was barely able to do more than glance at his boys and give Scott a pat on the shoulder as he passed on his way out the front door.

Scott decided it would be best if he went in the lead car with Dad. It was the one that had been fitted with the kiddie seats for Gordon and Alan, and Scott could sit between them and keep them settled. That left John and Virgil to ride in the second car with Grandma. The car trip was mostly silent, but Grandma told them they both looked very smart and did her best to smile despite clear indications she was holding back more tears.

As they neared the church it was impossible not to notice the large number of parked vehicles, some still offloading passengers. John let out a large sigh as their car pulled up in front of the chapel. The soft murmurings and general bustle of the gathering crowd penetrated their insulated little bubble even before the driver opened the door to let Grandma out. Virgil waited until he’d caught John’s eye and received a nod before opening his door so both boys could exit on the same side of the car.

The kindly young driver from the funeral home seemed to be keeping most of the well-meaning mourners at bay as the family gathered and were solemnly led into the church and ushered to the front pew. John tried to focus on the flowers, the quiet organ music, the soft glow of sunlight filtering through stained glass rather than the coffins or even the photos of Mom and Grandpa, and definitely not the endless stream of people filling the rows of seats behind them. It was a slightly tight fit getting all seven of them in the one pew, even with Alan on Dad’s (and later Scott’s) lap, but John was glad of the warm press of Virgil on his left and Gordon on his right.

The service was a simple, no-frills affair with the Minister officiating, but friends and family doing most of the talking. John listened through Dad and Grandma retelling stories he’d heard before, but there were little details revealed that he had never known. The anecdotes shared by the others who stepped up to the pulpit microphone – one of Grandpa’s farming neighbours, and an old friend of Mom’s from school – almost felt like stories about other people. It didn’t feel like they were talking about the people John had lost.

For John losing Grandpa was like a constellation of stars going missing from the night sky. It was Grandpa that had told him people are all made of the same stuff as the stars. He had been a quiet, watchful presence in his life, providing light and joy whenever he looked up and saw that twinkle in Grandpa’s eye. Like Ursa Major and Polaris, Grandpa was always there guiding him, giving direction when needed, but never wanting to overstep or overshadow his parents. Not the brightest light in his orbit, but an important, comforting presence that meant John always knew his place in the world.

Mom had been the sun at the centre of his life, his family, his everything. Without her all the light and warmth was gone from the world. Instead of a regular (though slightly wonky) orbit his world now felt like it was tumbling through space and gravity was constantly shifting. One moment he was too heavy to move and the next he was so light might be flung out into space. Night and day and seasons, years and everything he measured his life by had been connected to his Mom ��� waking him and tucking him into bed, making sure he dressed warm enough or wore sunscreen or had his raincoat, keeping track of birthdays and holidays and school excursion days were all her.

During the service no one spoke of Mom and Grandpa like that.

There was music. One of Mom’s favourite piano pieces. Virgil had wanted to be able to play it today, but hadn’t been able to bring himself to even sit at the piano, much less play at all since the accident. So a recording had been found and it was played as a backing track to the slideshow that flickered through image after image of happy memories telling part of two life stories.

There were prayers. Reassuring words from the minister about heaven and God’s love, and the love we should all share with each other. John wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about heaven, or God calling Mom and Grandpa home to his kingdom.

There was a poem read out by one of Mom’s work colleagues. It was something about not crying or being sad because they were gone, but being happy because they had lived. Many of the people in the room were obviously ignoring the advice – his immediate family included. There were a good many wet handkerchiefs and tissues in hands, a great deal of suppressed sobs and eye rubbing, and a few sleeves swiped across cheeks before the service was over.

Scott and Dad were among the pall bearers who carried the coffins out of the church and onto the waiting machinery that would take care of their final movements. John and his brothers and Grandma were the first of the mourners to follow in the sombre procession. Only a small number of people were permitted to follow the hovering gurneys across the grass and through the little cemetery to the waiting square-sided pits. Just family and a few close friends to witness the way the machinery slowly and smoothly lowered each coffin down into the earth, hear the minister recite the final ritual words, and each place a flower or a sprinkling of dirt atop the coffins in a last goodbye.

The rest of the large crowd had been encouraged to make their way into the Sunday School hall where the wake was to take place. Refreshments had been generously laid out on the tables inside. More photographs of both lost loved ones were on display throughout the room, along with so many more flowers and a large number of cards. But many of the people in attendance that day were still milling about outside the church buildings when John and his family returned through the cemetery for the wake.

John’s feet dragged as he approached the gentle hubbub of mingling friendly faces with sympathetic expressions. He could pick out people he knew well if he let himself concentrate, but the sheer number of individuals he was heading towards was a little overwhelming. They didn’t make it inside the hall before the onslaught began. Almost everyone wanted to say something, speak of sympathy, tell a story, offer “any help you need.” So many wanted to reach out, hold a hand or squeeze an arm, some came in for full-on hugs, cheek kisses and loud, teary exclamations of how sad it all was.

John lost his Dad and Grandma to the throng faster than he thought possible, but before he could be swept up in it himself he was thrown a lifeline. There was a familiar presence by his side, a brush of hand against hand, or specifically pinky against pinky – a request and an offer. John grabbed hold of Virgil’s hand and held fast, tethering himself to his brother like an anchor.

He wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened or how long it had taken, but eventually they all made it inside the Sunday School hall. John was only aware of Virgil’s hand in his, the rest was a blur of faces, voices, bodies. Virgil dealt with anyone who stopped them to offer their personal condolences, listening to what they had to say and responding politely but managing to keep the interactions brief and shielding John from most of the attention. Somehow they made their way to a cluster of chairs where Grandma and Dad were seated, Alan in his father’s lap, still accepting condolences from well-wisher after well-wisher.

John was aware of sweat beading on his forehead as Virgil told him to take a seat next to Grandma for a bit, and then his brother disappeared into the crowd to go and fetch Grandma a cup of tea. He wiped sweaty palms on his trousers as he tried to look around the room. His eyes fell on Scott standing a few feet away, taking all the sympathetic social interactions in his stride, nodding, smiling, shaking hands, accepting embraces.

John’s mouth was dry and he wondered if he could make it across the room to grab a drink from the trestle table against the wall, but there was a sea of bodies he’d have to negotiate in between. For a moment his vision blurred and the vague images of people swam in a dizzying fashion before he could find something to focus on. Alan had obviously grown tired of the hair ruffling and cheek pinching and wriggled free of his Dad’s grasp, and was now trying to run through the small gaps between grown up pairs of legs. Gordon was keeping an eye on him – in between snaffling more cakes and cookies from the food table. John watched the terrible two until they were obscured by too many featureless figures.

Despite the late-winter-cool of the day, the church hall felt uncomfortably warm. The large space with its vaulted ceiling, tall, wide windows and polished wooden floorboards felt dark and gloomy and so very crowded. And the non-stop undercurrent of murmuring voices appeared to build in an unbearable crescendo John could not shut out. Too many bodies, too many voices, too much, too close . . . he needed space, he needed air, he had to get out!

Virgil saw his brother get up and hurry a little unsteadily to the exit as he came back with Grandma’s tea. He tried to keep an eye on the red-head so he could follow, but he had to excuse himself to Grandma and Dad, make his way over to Scott, politely interrupt the conversation and whisper in his big brother’s ear.

“John’s bolted. I’m going after him.”

Scott acknowledged with a nod as his eyes darted to the door, already closed again after John’s escape. Virgil wasted no more time in following, but once outside it took him a moment to figure out which direction John had taken.

John had no particular destination in mind, he just needed to get away. His feet carried him across the gravel driveway and through the grass without him registering the change of surface. He ran through the little cemetery without seeing the tombstones he passed, slowing only when he approached the boundary marked with a low stone wall before a neat, tall hedge. Unable to go any farther he turned and wobbled dizzily. His vision narrowed leaving dull blurred impressions of light and shadow. He heard nothing but the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, and he sank down to the ground, sitting heavily, knees bent and pulled up towards his chest. He scrunched his eyes tightly closed and slammed his hands over his ears, trying to block it all out.

Virgil approached slowly, but without trying to hide the sound of his footsteps. He lowered himself to sit facing John, resisting the strong urge to reach out and touch him. Seeing his brother in such distress clawed at his heart. He couldn’t let him struggle through this alone.

“John?” He kept his voice quiet and hoped he could be heard despite the hands staying firmly pressed against ears. “I’m here with you. Just me. No one else is around.”

There was no noticeable response.

“If you can hear me, I need you to try and slow your breathing down a bit, John. Deep breath in,“ and Virgil inhaled, “and out nice and slow.” Virgil waited for a second, watching John’s shallow, ragged breathing for any change. “In,” another inhaled breath, “and out.”

As Virgil continued repeating the instruction like a mantra John’s breathing gradually began to even out into slower, deeper, more controlled breaths. He wasn’t sure, but he thought John’s vice-like grip over his ears might be relaxing a little too.

“You’re doing great, John. Keep focusing on your breathing. Keep listening. Hear the breeze whispering through the leaves? Did you hear those birds?”

John did hear the cry of a bird overhead, and an answering call a little farther away as his hands drifted away from his head. As he lowered them to limply rest on the ground beside him he heard a gentle gust of wind rustle the hedges, and he registered that it did indeed sound a bit like a whisper.

“The sun’s broken free of the clouds. Can you feel it on your face, John? Can you feel the wind in your hair? You do realise there’s dirt and leaves beneath your fingertips, right?”

John turned his focus where his brother’s voice directed it, feeling the warmth on the left side of his face, and the breeze toying with his hair. There was indeed leaf litter and slightly damp dirt beneath his flexing fingers.

“If you’re ready to open your eyes you’ll see the moon’s out. I like the way the moon looks in the day. Against the blue of the sky the shadows make it look almost see-through.”

Translucent. That would have been a better word for what Virgil was trying to say. The thought flitted through John’s mind as he let his eyes drift open and scan the sky until they latched onto the gibbous moon framed by scattered cumulous clouds. He was also aware there was irony in the way his brother was effectively using the moon to anchor him, to bring him back to earth and ground him in the here and now.

Virgil had stopped talking, leaving the wind and occasional twitters and cries of the birds to fill the silence as John watched the clouds dance around the moon. He could feel his brother’s eyes on him almost as tangibly as he could feel the damp earth he was sitting on and the cool stone of the wall at his back. Now feeling much calmer he took a deep breath and brought his gaze down from the sky to meet the concern and compassion contained in those warm, brown eyes.

“Welcome back.” A hint of a smile played across Virgil’s face as he spoke.

A quiet moment stretched between them. No words spoken, but information passing from brother to brother through eye contact alone.

Content that John was no longer caught in a spiral he couldn’t escape on his own, Virgil glanced over his shoulder towards the Sunday School hall.

“I should go back, but you can stay here if you want. I’ll come and find you when it’s time to go. Just don’t wander off or anything.”

John didn’t speak as he chanced his own glance back toward the ongoing wake. Then, as Virgil made a move to get up and leave, John reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Stay. Please?”

Virgil stopped and stared first at the fingers digging into his wrist, then into pleading, desperate aquamarine. He simply nodded and adjusted his position so he was sitting next to John, their shoulders touching. John loosened his grip on Virgil’s wrist but didn’t let go, so John’s arm looped around his knees and Virgil’s arm crossed his body to keep the connection. There was an almost imperceptible hesitation, but then simultaneously John leaned in towards his brother and Virgil wrapped his arm around John, pulling them into a secure embrace.

John finally let go of Virgil’s wrist, bringing his arm in close, grabbing a fistful of Virgil’s suit jacket and snuggling closer into his brother’s chest. This enabled Virgil to employ both arms in the hug. John rarely cuddled up like this with anyone, but all the times he could remember doing so were with Mom. His next intake of breath hitched at the realisation, and Virgil held a little tighter. The threat of tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he was grateful that, while not the same as a cuddle from Mom, he was still able to find this level of safety and comfort in the arms of someone who loved him.

“I want her back,” he sobbed, letting the tears flow and drip onto Virgil’s jacket.

“Yeah. Me too.”

John heard the tears in Virgil’s voice, but he already knew his brother felt the same absence in their hug.

Neither boy could say how long they stayed out there, huddled together, holding tight while hot tears streaked their cheeks. Time may as well have stood still for all it mattered. Nothing else was important, just the feeling that this moment, however sad, was there’s alone to share until Scott came and found them to tell them it was time to go home.

[9tzuyu]

the art of delicate hands – pt. i

[ wandanat. ]

College AU.

Multiple part series ;

↳ snippets of their relationship and how I perceive them.

sumary:

wanda doesn't like to talk very much, only to her brother (and sometimes her lovely redheaded girlfriend).

notes:

if anyone international is reading this, ASL is shortened for american sign language (language of the hands).

+

this is a revised and edited version from when i wrote it on ao3 in 2018.

The only person that knew was Pietro. It was her little secret, and she could only hope that no one now would find out. She knew she shouldn't be ashamed, it was nothing to be ashamed over. Unsurprisingly however, it became her biggest insecurity – years of relentless bullying ensued that.

Wanda was always anxious. When she was seven she began experiencing panic attacks. The metallic taste of blood in her mouth became familiar over time as her panic attacks worsened.

All because she was mute and didn't feel comfortable to speak to anyone, including her parents. The only person Wanda felt comfortable enough to talk to was her brother (you could say that's because they're twins).

A doctor in Sokovia mentioned to Wanda's parents that therapy may help, that it may get her to speak more than four words a week. So her parents moved her when she was 16 and hoped for the best.

Within a year and a half Wanda was able to develop a clear understanding of American Sign Language. Eight months into the move and Wanda's parents had given up on Wanda ever talking, something that she took personal. They didn't catch on to English as quick as the twins did, their native language stuck closer than expected. Pietro didn't mind learning English quickly as he wanted to fit in school, and he also didn't mind studying ASL to communicate with Wanda on a deeper level.

American high school wasn't much better than her hometown. People talked, whispered and gossiped about her in class, muttered hurtful things about her appearance and the way she carried herself; a shy, quiet, timid girl. The worst part of it was when they mocked her for using a language that was supposed to feel safe for her. Pietro always came to her rescue, shooing people away, reminding them that she's his sister. The silver haired boy had no problem fitting in, it was only when they were apart did people tease the younger brunette.

When their parents died, Wanda took the brunt of the emotional attack it had on the twins. She'd been sitting in the backseat of the car, earbuds in, with her music volume at maximum capacity. Her father had tried to tell her to turn down the music while her mother rest in the passenger seat, window down with her eyes closed. When Wanda didn't hear her father, he reached over, eyes off the road, and tapped her. The second she registered his touch a semi-truck hit her father's door. In a matter of minutes Wanda and Pietro both were left alone to fend for themselves.

Putting the blame on herself only caused her to shut down further. It took over a year for Wanda to speak to Pietro again.

But as per usual, the twins stuck together and finished high school. The only difference was that they lived in foster care, they belonged to the state, up for grabs if anyone wanted them. That came to an end six months into their stay. The foster family proposed the idea of adoption, they had no problem in taking care of the twins for the rest of the time being – or, if they wanted, every day after as well.

At twenty, Wanda and Pietro eventually both went to college and shared a house with a bundle of other people on campus. The younger sibling even found herself a girlfriend within the group, her name being Natasha Romanoff.

Natasha didn't mind at all how little Wanda talked. She was curious, of course, but even before their relationship Nat never pushed her girlfriend into anything uncomfortable. Natasha could tell Wanda always made effort though, that's what drove the brunette into allowing herself a relationship.

When the redhead would sleep, Wanda would continuously practice signing. She'd sign songs and poems, movie scripts and books, everything she possibly could to improve herself. It was a very personal, in touch form of language for her.

Wanda had been with her girlfriend a little over a year and Natasha still didn't know all the unpleasant factors that came about her life. Wanda only told her just enough to get by, and she felt immensely guilty for that. Truth was she desperately wanted to tell Natasha, she just didn't know how. She'd thought about just signing something to her and hoping she would catch on, but figured that would be too much. Anxiety spiked in her chest and in her bones, and she was tired of feeling like a liar.

With a sigh, Wanda plopped down on her bed and pulled her phone out from her back pocket. Unlocking it, she went to her text messages and scrolled to Pietro's contact. When she was sure no one else was in the house, she tapped the call button and listened to the phone ring until Pietro answered.

"You know I'm in the other room, right? You literally could've called my name." He greeted, accent heavy through the speaker.

Wanda giggled as she ran her fingers through her hair. You're safe. Speak, it's okay. She reminded herself.

"Yeah, but are you free?"

"Always."

"Can you come here? I need to ask you about something." Pietro gave out a loud, playful sigh but walked to her room, disconnecting the call on his way in. "What is it, my dear sister? What could possibly be troubling you here on this day? Is it that scruffy redhead?" He smirked arrogantly but sat down in the desk chair across from Wanda, not failing to notice how she rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't have scruffy hair and you know it. It's soft, gentle – and much less damaged than your shit show of an excuse for bleached hair."

"Whatever you say, little chaos."

Wanda groaned, "Why must you still call me that?"

"It suits you well."

There was a shared moment of silence between the two before Pietro spoke up. "What was it you wanted to ask me about?" A small frown was plastered on Wanda's face and Pietro found himself wanting to know even more now. Wanda waited another minute before finally answering. "Should I tell her? You know, about..."

A huge smile took over her brother's face. He was ecstatic that she wanted this for her girlfriend. "Of course you should! I really think she'd be interested to know more about you – y'know, since you don't ever tell her anything."

"I tell her things!" Pietro shook his head, "Does she even know your birthday?" Wanda nodded and turned herself away from him. "I just don't know how to do it. I mean it'd be kind of heavy just taking her out to dinner only to tell her my deepest, darkest secret afterwards. I'm scared she'll hate me, Pietro! And I've never even spoke. More than like, 12 sentences all at once with her!" He softened knowing how much trouble one past  had caused his little sister. "Write her a note?" He suggested, but she shook her head. "I want to tell her, not write her."

Right before he was about to speak again there was a knock at the door. The pair looked up to find Natasha standing in the doorway smiling down at the two. "Am I interrupting?"

Wanda froze while Pietro arrogantly raised his eyebrow and announced his answer. "No. We were just finished talking."

Confusion was written on Nat's face and she stood there until Wanda shook her head and muttered a small "No," giving her the signal that she could come in.

"I'll be in the other room if you need me." Pietro got up, despite Wanda's silent plea for him to stay. He gave her a thumbs up and left the room.

Natasha closed the door and laid next to Wanda, wrapping her arms around the younger woman. "You okay?" Wanda nodded in reply and Natasha knew not to push. For now she'd just keep an eye on her, reassuring her that she could talk to her if need be.

Over the next few days Wanda seemed to be doing better. She was supposed to go to a party with Nat, but opted out to study for classes instead.

"Be safe," she whispered and planted a small kiss on Natasha's lips.

Everyone else went to the same party, leaving the house to just Wanda. She sent out a group message telling everyone to text her or ring her (at the very most importance) if they needed a ride. Wanda didn't drink much anyways so she didn't mind being the designated driver of the bunch. And besides, she didn't mind having some time alone, it gave her the absence of the boys so she could study.

However, after over an hour or so of studying Wanda was beginning to feel stressed. Her nerves were building and she could feel her jaw clench.

She needed a break.

With a small sigh, she got up and connected her phone to her speaker. After scrolling and clicking on her song of choice, Wanda found herself signing the words to a Modest Mouse song.

Green eyes closed as her hands began to string along with the words of the song. It was rather fast paced, but Wanda was able to keep up fairly well thanks to years of practice. Lyrics flowed through her fingertips and in the palms of her hands, her stress levels immediately decreasing as she went on.

Unbeknownst to her, however, Natasha was standing in the doorway watching her every move. She was absolutely mesmerized by Wanda's hand motions. Her finger spelling was very fast, and Natasha was curious to know how long Wanda had known ASL.

When the song was over, Wanda stopped her music and moved herself so she could study again. She grabbed her pens, pencils and highlighters, along with her textbook while her back faced Natasha.

"I didn't know you could sign." Natasha commented. A mix of shock and uneasiness quickly took over the calm look on Wanda's face.

It wasn't until then when Tasha put two and two together. She quickly rushed over to her girlfriend, and carefully engulfed her into a hug.

"Hey, no, I think it's really cool. You don't have to worry now, your secret's safe with me." Wanda began to shake in her grasp, tears forming in her eyes. She backed out of the embrace and against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest.

"No, you're supposed to hate me, laugh at me. You're supposed to be anything but be cool with it." Natasha tilted her head, "Is that what they did to you?"

Wanda peaked out from underneath her arms, the confirmative nod sent Natasha's heart well beyond sinking. She’d never understand how people could willingly be so cruel.

"I'm here to listen, not judge." Her words softly echoed in Wanda's mind, and she watched Natasha carefully to see if she was lying. When she didn't make any remarks or snide comments, Wanda knew it was safe. Accent heavy, she began letting words slip from her mouth.

"I have really bad anxiety when it comes to talking, so I just don’t. Asl makes it easier to communicate, but growing up I was often teased for it. You’re really good at reading me without it, so I hid it from you. Guess their words still haunt me...” Wanda finished, giving Natasha a little more insight on her life.

Natasha moved closer to her girlfriend, bringing Wanda’s shaking body into her embrace. She then kissed the top of her forehead.

Wanda looked up to see Natasha thinking, her eyebrows scrunched together and she was chewing on her lip. She nudged her.

“I think it’s quite beautiful if you ask me.” Wanda cracked a smile and rest her head on Tasha’s shoulder. “Beauty comes from pain, I guess.”

But Natasha shook her head, “No, No, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Wanda nodded. She understood what Natasha was saying, she just didn’t believe it to be true when it came to herself. Nonetheless, she spoke the words, repeating the mantra so that maybe she could start to feel a belief in them.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

[tuiccim]

Brassy (Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2038

Warnings: Language, PTSD, Memories of abuse, panic attack

Summary: You’re in a friends with benefits situation with Loki and some of the other Avengers aren’t happy with the arrangement.This part delves a little more into the readers backstory. 

Part 1

———————–

The following week everyone was at the tower. No missions were currently in priority and everyone was anticipating Tony's party on Friday night. Thursday morning you Wanda and Vision cooked a huge breakfast for everyone. Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Thor, Natasha, Clint, Tony, and you were gathered around the table. 

"Wanda, these biscuits are delicious." Bucky compliments her.

"Oh, that was all (Y/N). She's the one who makes the biscuits and gravy." Wanda says in her cute accent. 

"Oh, uh... they're good, (Y/N)." Bucky stammers at you.

"Thanks." You say not quite meeting his eye. You could feel across the table how uncomfortable he was giving you a compliment. 

"Where'd you grow up, (Y/N)?" Clint pipes in. You didn't know each other well since he was semi-retired. 

"Kinda all over." You say.

"Military brat?" He asks.

"Runaway." You quirk an eyebrow at him. 

"Really?" He leans forward.

"Long story. You really are as much of a gossip as Nat says, huh?" You decide sass would be the best way out of this conversation.

"Gossip?!?" He looks at Nat, sitting beside you, putting his hand on his chest as if wounded. "Simply because I care about people's history?"

Nat rolls her eyes and shoots you a look. Deciding to hit back Nat says to you, "You're bestie joining us tomorrow?"

You smile with aplomb, "I don't know. Say, Thor, will Loki be joining us for the party?"

"Yes!" Thor replies enthusiastically, "He said he was looking forward to it. He enjoyed the last one so much."

"Aww...I'm so glad. He's a good time." You smirk at Nat.

"Your friendship has done him good, (Y/N)." Thor spouts.

"Done me good, too." You say under your breath to Nat. 

"How did that happen?" Tony asks. 

You look at him innocently, "We met at your last party. And hit it off quite well." You glance at Steve who is giving you a look. 

"My last party, when the ice statue fell over and nearly killed a guest?" Tony narrows his eyes.

"Is that when that happened?" You ask with wide eyes.

Steve clears his throat and directs a look at you.

"What was that about, Cap?" Tony looks between you two.

"Nothing." Steve says but now that Tony has the bone he's not gonna let it go. 

"Do you know what happened there, Cap?" Tony pushes.

"Nope." Steve sits back crossing his arms, never taking his eyes off of you. You are, unfortunately, losing an internal battle to hold in your giggles. 

"(Y/N)." Tony draws out the name. "Did you try to kill one of my guests?"

"Of course not, Tony." You say but then a suspicious cough comes out of your mouth sounding far more like the laugh you were trying to cover.

"That was Pepper's cousin." Tony eyes you.

"I didn't try to kill him. Just maim him a little." You finally confess. "Hopefully he learned that you don't play grab ass without a lady's permission."

Bucky suddenly gets up from the table and leaves. "What's up his ass?" You ask.

"Language." Tony mocks. 

"Oh, fuck, sorry." You say. 

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose clearly frustrated with you. Clint looks at Natasha questioningly and receives a shrug. 

"Yeah. Paul's gotten a little handsy in the past. Probably was a good lesson for him." Tony winks at you dispelling the cloud that had momentarily settled. Breakfast calmed down after that and everyone enjoyed the remainder of the meal. Afterwards, you found Steve and pulled him off to the side. "What the fuck did I do wrong to Bucky?" You ask.

"(Y/N)." Steve says, again pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry. What the hell did I do?" You ask again.

"I don't know." Steve says exasperated.

"Is it just me?" You keep going.

"I really don't know, (Y/N). He hasn't said anything to me." 

"I've wracked my brain trying to figure out what I did or said and I got nothing." 

"You'd have to ask him." Steve persists. 

"That would require him staying in the same room with me for more than 10 seconds. Nevermind." You say and head towards the elevator. Wanda is going that direction, too. "Hey Wanda. Do you think you could help me with my hair for tomorrow night?"

"Of course!" Wanda says and you two head off to her room to talk. 

Later that afternoon you had finished training and decided to head to the kitchen for a snack. You met up with Clint heading the same direction. You pulled out some fruit and cheese to slice and water from the fridge and were happily munching when Steve and Bucky came in looking for an afternoon snack as well. You and Clint were chattering and somehow you got on the stupid games you played as a kid. 

"Do you remember Around the World in 80 days? You know the song that you rubbed in someone's back to make them get a chill?" He asked.

"Never heard of it." You say.

"Really?" Clint says. He turns to the other guys. "Steve? Bucky?"

"Can't say that I have, Clint." Steve says and Bucky shrugs.

"Do it to me!" You say. "Give a girl the chills, Clint." 

You're laughing a little as Clint starts.

"Around the world in 80 days." He draws circles in your back. "X marks the spot. Comma, comma, comma, question mark." He continues drawing on your back. "Stab a lady in the back, watch the blood run down."

"Really?" You hear Steve say.

Clint continues, "Cool breeze." You feel Clint blow on the back of your neck and the world turned sideways on you. In the next moment, Clint says something murky and that's when you felt the hand squeezing the back of your neck. Your eyes dilate and breath leaves. Before anyone realizes what's happening you react, grabbing the knife you had used on the cheese, you have Clint in an arm lock and the knife is pressed to his throat. Somewhere beyond you there are voices but you can't make anything out. Breathing shakily you stare into Clint with body tensed. A droplet of blood is sliding down his throat where the point of the knife has nicked him. 

Carefully Clint says your name. He says it again and calmly asks you to let up. Out of the corner of your eye you make out Steve and things begin to come back into focus. Steve is looking at you with concern. His mouth is moving and he is holding his hands up in an attempt to appear non threatening. Clint says your name again and the world starts to come back into focus. When you realize what you've done you slowly take the knife away from Clint's neck and drop it on the counter. 

"I'm so sorry." You whisper.

"It's okay." Clint says. "I don't know what I did but I did something to trigger you." He puts a hand to his neck and Steve goes to him to check it.

You start shaking uncontrollably and begin to back away. "I'm so sorry." You whisper again. You continue to back up until you feel someone touch your arm. Looking over you see Bucky. 

"Lemme take you to your room, Doll. You need to rest." He says.

"I'm fine. I'll go." You say. 

"Let Bucky help you, (Y/N). Clint will be fine. Just needs a bandaid."

"No, I'm fine. I'm fine." But when you take a step your knees buckle. Bucky was right there to grab you. Holding you up he takes you to your room and sits you on your bed. Kneeling down in front of you he tries to get you to focus on him. "Hey Doll. Come back. You're okay." 

You're still having trouble focusing. Everything is in a jumble. "Doll, Doll, listen to me. Focus on me. What are five things you can see?"

"What? You say.

"Tell me five things you can see."

You're confused by the question but you start to answer, "You."

"Good. Four more things." Bucky says. 

"The door, my bookshelf."

"Good. Two more, Doll."

"The painting, the floor."

"Okay. What are four things you can touch?"

"The bedspread?" You ask, rubbing the comforter under you. Things were coming more into focus.

"What else?"

"My leggings. My shirt."

"Good. One more."

You reach your hands out to his face, "Your stubble." 

You feel a slight rumble from him as if he's chuckling. "Good, Doll. What are three things you can hear?"

"Your voice, my voice, Wanda's playing music in her room." 

"Two things you can smell."

You take in a deep breath. "My lotion. Your cologne."

"Last question, what's one thing you can taste?"

"Fear." You whisper.

"Yeah." Bucky looks in your eyes. "You back with me?"

"Yeah." You put your head in your hands. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Doll. We all got shit in our past that makes us a little crazy. Want to talk about what happened? Can you remember?"

"Clint and I were talking. He was doing that around the world thing on my back and...and...he grabbed the back of my neck, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Shit." You rub your face. "I'm so sorry." You say again. "I just...I didn't think...I didn't know...I, I…"

"Come back, Doll. Look at me."

You focused on Bucky's face. Looking into his blue eyes. You don't think you'd really noticed how blue they were before. "So, touching the back of your neck is a trigger for you?"

"Yeah."

"Care to tell me why?"

"My stepdad used to hold me down by the back of my neck when...when he…nevermind. I just don't like the back of my neck touched." 

Bucky's face took on such a sad look that you couldn't stand it. "Don't look at me like that." You said. "I'm fine. I'm fine." You repeated.

"What can I do for you, Doll? Do you need a drink?"

You just shake your head not looking at him.

"What can I do?" Bucky repeated. Finally, you looked up at him. The caring in his eyes broke down your restraint and you reached for him. Wrapping your arms around his neck. He seemed shocked for a moment but then his arms went around you. He sat back and crossed his legs, pulling you into his lap. You curled into him. He could feel you shaking still. He held you. Your face nestled in his neck, he stroked your hair and occasionally rocked you back and forth. You weren't sure how long you stayed like that. It was the first time in a very long time you felt safe. Sheltered. 

Finally, you lifted your head and suddenly felt embarrassed for the vulnerability you had shown. Extricating yourself from Bucky, you scrambled to your feet. "Sorry. I, I'm, I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. I..I'm sorry." You stutter.

Bucky gets to his feet and chuckles. "It's okay, Doll. You feel okay? You need anything else?"

"No, I'm okay. I'm good. Uh, thanks. I'm gonna go."

"It's your room, Doll. I'll go."

"Right. Okay." You watch as he walks to the door. He pauses before leaving.

"We've all been there. It happens. Clint's a good guy. He won't hold it against you."

"Thanks, Bucky." You say as he heads out the door. 

You feel absolutely drained but feel the need to find Clint and apologize. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., Where's Clint?" 

"Agent Barton is in the common room."

You find Clint sitting in the room flipping through tv channels with Steve and Sam. He looks up at you and smiles. "You okay, (Y/N)?"

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry." You ask.

"Yeah! I actually got the remote away from Sam!" He chirps.

You laugh lightly.

"We've all been there. No harm, no foul." Clint says kindly.

You lick your lips and nod. "Thanks."

"Wanna watch something?" Clint offers.

"I'm good. Thanks. Think I'm gonna turn in early."

"Night, (Y/N)." Clint says.

"Night, guys." You say as Sam waves and Steve echoes your good night.

Sleep claimed you quickly that night. A blessed release from your normal torment. 

Part 3

[sleepyxdarling]

Dates!

Decided to finally write something for my newer ocs...i need a team name for them lol anyways it's not yandere but I hope you all still enjoy it and maybe show these dorks some love.

Click here if you wanna learn bout these dorks

Leo

Leo definitely did not ask you so you decided to ask him and his reaction was an amusing one.

You two have been friends for a while so he didn't faint when you asked him but he tensed up and his face became red before he started to stammer

"d..d..d...date...m..m..me..?..w..what?"

Despite being 6'3 he was like a timid mouse.

After about ten minutes of having a panic attack and you having to calm him down he said yes

You both decided to go to his place and watch movies

You didn't expect him to bake a bunch of snacks for movie night though

"I..I..I want to spoil you!"

His blushing expression was way too cute as he cowered in fear from your reaction

Of course you liked it and you both sat on the couch and watched movies

He was always asking if it was okay to move closer which you thought was a little weird

He got more comfortable the longer you both spent time

"h..hey..[name] c..c..can...can I hold your hand?"

You can tell how scared he looks and you simply grab his hand while finishing the movie..

After that you both had gone on more dates and even got leo used to being out in public...well kinda.

Alex

Alex was the one to ask you out

She had gotten you a red rose despite your gender

"Hey! [Name] go on a date with me Kay? If not.. I'll punish you!"

After agreeing due to the slight fear of what she would do to you she decided to take you out to an arcade

She was kinda competitive but it was pretty fun

Cue you both getting weird looks from kids cause of an intense March at air hockey

She spends an hour trying to win you a prize at a claw machine..which she got

She also got you ANOTHER prize at the prize corner

After spending hours playing games she takes you out to eat

She of course paid for the entire date and will refuse to take your money if you offer

"let me spoil you cutie!"

Hours of talking, laughing, and being dorks she takes you home

She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek

"you better call me or I'll totally kidnap you..I'm not kidding"

You two had more fun dates after that one..most of them were dorky and involved mass amounts of cuddles

Orion

It's a wonder how you two are friends

You are the only one allowed in his room when he is working..so congrats.

During a quiet session of him working on a manga page he boldly asked you out

"[name]...tomorrow I want to go to the bookstore, get boba tea, and maybe go shopping..meet me at the city plaza at 3"

After processing that statement you agree and he sends you home immediately

The next day he is standing there looking uncomfortable and annoyed

When he sees you he immediately grabs your hand

"come on..I don't want to take all day"

You were mostly confused and went with it

It was very interesting.. Everytime you picked something up in interest he took it from your hands before paying for it

He didn't talk much and finally while sitting and drinking the tea you ask why he invited you.

"I don't get that question... don't people who feel an attraction ask each other on a date? You're weird"

After that you two went shopping and while he bought himself the cheapest clothes he bought you expensive jewelry and clothes he thought you would look good in.

After hours of shopping you both go to his place and watch movies

He ends up falling asleep with his head in your lap while you pet his hair

He hasn't slept in days due to work so he deserves it..plus he spoiled you all day so he definitely deserved peace.

Ash

Ash was a sly guy who knew how to flirt so him asking you out was for certain

He invited you to his shop before asking you out

"hey [name]..you will go out on a date with me yeah? Come on don't make me beg"

After giving you a look that dripped with sex appeal you just had to agree

You both went to grab a bite to eat before walking through the park

Ash kept you laughing which was good

You can tell he wanted to smoke the entire time but he didn't out of respect.

When it got late he took you to his shop and taught you how to make a cup of coffee

While you were focused he snuck a few kisses on your neck

When you turned to him to question him about it he kissed your lips

"heh..sorry I couldn't help myself just wanted to see how you tasted"

He gave you a wink before walking you home and asking for a second date

[asherlockstudy]

Did you end up listening to links EB? I'm curious about your thoughts

Warning, this post is extensively about religion, the concept of sin, trauma, self- torment. Please skip if you feel uncomfortable with any of these being mentioned. Also, this post is my personal interpretation of events discussed in the last EBs. I believe I am not exceeding any boundaries but keep in mind all the same that I do make assumptions here.  

Oookay… where to start and what to say…Even though I’d read many MB comments about Link’s EB and I was prepared, I was much more shaken by the end of it than I had expected. I still don’t know how to start so I’ll connect this a bit to the guess in my previous post. Link was indeed more absolute in his beliefs and thoughts than Rhett but it was for the reason I considered the least probable: he’s leaning away from Christianity / religion more than Rhett. His reaction to it involves anger and disappointment. 

I’ll just address this: I understand there are many valid reasons for which they say they haven’t experienced trauma associated with their religion and its practices but this is 99% not true. Perhaps they don’t say it because they are still processing it, they are just now realising it or haven’t yet. Sometimes when you’re bursting with emotions, especially toxic, you can’t see the truth easily. On the other hand, maybe they don’t want to share with us their trauma and this is perfectly normal. Most people wouldn’t share their trauma with the global population. Speaking to your therapist or a close person is already hard enough. What they did means a lot to them so it was a very brave decision. 

When it comes to emotions, self-awareness and confronting oneself, Link is braver than Rhett. That’s why his episode is braver than Rhett’s too. I don’t believe Rhett’s insistence that his pursuit for answers was strictly intellectual. Yes, they acknowledged they are very different personalities but I think Rhett still has trouble accepting or admitting the toll his choices and beliefs early in life could have had in his emotional world for decades. Link exposed him a little, mentioning several times that Rhett would discuss with him their similar concerns that were often largely irrelevant to the Evolution and the accuracy of the events described in the Bible. You can hear that Rhett is sometimes hesitant to participate a lot to Link’s EB and I respect that. He does not have to say any of this to us after all. He’s not obligated to say as much as Link either.

 As for Link, Link is a person that loathes keeping things buried inside him and yet it seems this is all he ‘s been  doing his entire life. Like I said in my guess, Link’s natural predisposition was not to care all that much about religion as a child but he yearned for guidance (and a father figure) that I am afraid he was deprived of in his household. The reasons Link is so obsessed with systems and organizing is probably because he always felt there was not enough control / order / guidance in his life. He relied on his systems and the most willingly authoritative people he could find: Rhett and, by extension, Rhett’s father. Make no mistake, I’m not condemning Rhett. I hate to say that Rhett was also a victim of his father. Of course, I don’t mean his father wanted to torment his son but simply his parenting was toxic even though he was undoubtedly trying for the best for his family. Rhett was not the one who kicked Link out of his car. The real Rhett was the one who walked back to him. His anger for Link’s “sin” (for fuck’s sake???!!) was his father and all the religious teachings speaking in his ear. Besides, the fact that a 16 year old would feel ashamed on behalf of another teenager and abandon him in the middle of a road because he drank a little alcohol simply shows how much poison was eating Rhett’s insides too without realising it. 

You see, what makes me melancholic is that in this perspective Link and even Rhett sound like they were really innocent children - pure souls. But sometimes when someone is by nature or by circumstances so sensitive / innocent / sheltered / isolated, then whatever attacks them first (i.e extreme religious teachings) can fuck them up very easily. Link was innocent enough that he was convinced that as a baby he had committed serious sins that Jesus sacrificed to save him from specifically. Kid Link felt guilty for things he couldn’t even fathom. He was compelled to maintain a relationship with Jesus (which they were both interpretting almost as a regular, literal one) out  of gratitude for his “””redemption””””. Then he lived in constant fear of what could be perceived as sin by God next. Crying because he had a few drinks. Staying (too) away from Christy because he was more “irresponsible” with his previous girlfriend. (At this point I am really curious what Link considered irresponsible / sinful in a romantic relationship but I am afraid of the answer.) We all understand I hope that this isn’t very different from those monks who have an “unholy” thought and then whip themselves until they pass out, right? The reasoning is the same and it’s self-torment. The irony is I think Link probably was doing a pretty solid job as a Christian (even by conservative standards). He sounds like he had unrealistic expectations about his relationship with God. I sensed that he’s still not completely over this. 

After I learned the truth about their “lost years” I was slightly disappointed because I had this dreamy view of a friendship where one quits his job because the other has artistic visions for both of them. It turns out there was even more devotion and loyalty on Link’s part after all. Link stayed in this religious system basically because Rhett did, because he had so much faith and trust in him and he was repressing himself because “surely Rhett is right and it’s just that I am the insufficient one again”. My understanding is that the first signs of Rhett’s scepticism was something Link desperately hoped for for years against all odds. It’s mindblowing for me that Link started distancing himself from the church only after Rhett’s doubts were multiplying and he started being open about them. The amount of respect and trust he has for Rhett could probably be found in novels. 

In order to make a full circle, all this makes it obvious once more that there is trauma - maybe severe - involved. I mean, these incidents alone are traumatic enough and now imagine everything they have not told us. What’s more, Link sounded like there was trauma involved. So did Rhett. For more proof, just watch today’s GMM where Terry prays for Link. Notice Link’s clear discomfort. He felt bad but he didn’t want to make it awkward for poor unsuspecting Terry who was just trying to make a joke. This shows though how easily Link is triggered - Terry clearly pushed all the wrong buttons there - and that means trauma. I don’t have the slightest doubt that Link was 100% sincere when he said a big part of it was his frustration that people dear to him could not be accepted by the Church he was a member of but, let’s be real, it’s a whoooole different thing realising some stuff and making calm decisions to stand by your non-privileged friends and reevaluate your choices than actually almost having a panic attack at the thought of following your family inside a building that happens to be a church. This hints to a personal wound, it is an instictual response for self-protection. Also, we know how adamant Link is to not disappoint and keep the family as united as possible - it is uncharacteristic that he wanted to make a different choice that day instead of, say, go in there with them and simply stand indifferent and not participate. 

They are healing right now. Despite what Link said, I feel they both still yearn very much for a higher force, an almighty spirit. They just need it to be unconditionally loving and accepting and just. Their spiritual journey is not over. 

[addictofsupernatural]

The Southsider (pt. 12)

Sweet Pea x reader

Chapter Summary: As y/n notices that there's someone after her, more people seem to want to make an end to her.

Word Count: 2288

Chapter 1 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 13

You were starting to become nervous when you practiced for the Carrie musical. Things were happening, and they seem to be gravitating towards you and Cheryl. Accidents were made, and they were unexplainable. What you didn't know of was that there was a serial note given to Kevin that said to take you out of the play.

"What are we going to do?" Jughead asked, holding his camera up as he filmed the conversation between him and Kevin.

"This is a minor setback, but I don't think anything bad could really happen. There's too much work that y/n and Cheryl have put into this. As they say, the show must go on."

Hal Cooper knew your father. They were friends, and they both saw eye to eye on things. Sinners, for instance. Hal was perfectly okay with what his friend was doing to his family. According to your dad, your mother was sinning in the Serpents.

Hal was disappointed when he was taken to prison. He beliefs were the same as his, and he had nobody else to share his passion with. Other than Penelope Blossom, but they shared that later in life.

When he went to visit his friend, your father told him of what happened, and how your sin was that you didn't lift a finger to help your mother. You were only protecting yourself.

So he kept a close eye on you. He saw through the happy facade you put on. Every day he saw you walk home, lonely and head down. He knew that you were haunted by your parents. You were punishing yourself. He didn't have to do anything, you were doing all the work for him. He stopped watching you and let you live your miserable life.

Until you stopped punishing yourself. You joined the Serpents, he had heard Betty talking to someone else about it. He started to watch you again, and this time he saw that you were genuinely happy. You even had a boyfriend. He would attack your boyfriend for now though; it wasn't his fault that he was dating a sinner. For all Hal knew, you could be deceiving that poor boy.

After rehearsal you went to Pop's where you began to work. But something was different. This time the Ghoulies came in and sat down at a booth. You and FP stared at each other. "Don't worry kid," he said. "I got it."

But they started to come almost everyday. Specifically on your shift times. FP called Jughead, who called Sweet Pea, when the Ghoulies came in for the third time. They rushed over to the diner, making a pit stop to get Fangs.

You grabbed your notepad and pen and huffed, feeling extremely uncomfortable in the presence of the drug dealing gang. The three serpent boys rushed through the door as you were walking towards the booth, and you stopped in your tracks and smiled, turning around to greet them.

The Ghoulies watched this. You hugged each of them. "Hey guys. I'm so glad that you're all here." You said perkily but also quietly. "I'll take your order after I'm done with them."

You then walked back to other table, a smile still on your face from the sight of your amazing boys. "You done talking with that wannabe gang sweetheart?"

You sighed, your mood going back to being ruined. "What can I get for you guys?"

"A sweet piece of that ass, for starters." The rest of the gang laughed at that one's comment.

"Drinks?" You asked, annoyance laced deep in your voice.

"You sure we can't have you babe?" Another asked. "If only you knew what my tongue could do."

"Milkshake or soda?" You asked a little louder. They finally gave there drinks. "It'll be ready as soon as possible." You said, monotone. You then walked over to a nearby booth with the three Serpents sitting there, making your mood change to happy and your voice to sweet. "Are what would you guys like?"

"I'm pretty sure my dad's already on my order right now." Jughead said.

"He started making it before you even walked in." You said.

"Chocolate chip milkshake." Fangs said.

"Banana milkshake." Sweet Pea said. You looked at him questioningly. "Please?" He smiled.

You let out a short laugh. "That's different."

"Are you making it?"

"Yeah."

"Then it'll be good." He said with a smug expression.

"Swoon." Fangs mockingly said.

"More like barf." Jughead replied.

"Calm down Jug." you said. "I've never said anything when you and Betty get all flirty with other over homicides." And with that you left a speechless Jughead and two weirded out boys across from him.

When you came from the kitchen the Ghoulies all stared at you, taking in your looks. They all found you attractive, not that you noticed or cared about what they thought since they all looked at you like you were a piece of meat.

That's why they were all so disappointed when you had a tray of milkshakes in your hand and a big smile on while walking towards them, only to keep walking and head to the table with your boyfriend and friends. They then turned their attention to FP, who was holding a tray for their milkshakes. "Here you are."

"We want the hotty." One of them blurted out. The others nodded.

"Sorry, but she's dealing with another table right now." They then all heard your giggle, looking back and seeing you happy as can be with the serpents. "Don't worry boys, I made them myself, and I put a little something extra for you all." He then winked and walked back to the kitchen. He didn't put anything.

You then took their orders for food, ignoring the inappropriate jokes about you. When you were done you headed to the counter, but stopped when you heard Fangs call out, "Aren't you gonna take our order?" With a smile on his face.

You turned around and smiled. "You already know I got you guys." You said with a dramatic shrug.

The three of them cheered as you laughed. "That's my girl." Sweet Pea proudly said.

This got the Ghoulies pissed. When Penny said to keep an eye on this cute girl, she never mentioned that she had a Serpent boyfriend. You blew a kiss to Sweet Pea and headed to behind the counter.

You served both booths their foods. When the Ghoulies were done with their food you went to grab the plates, only for one of them to grip your left wrist. "Look at what we have here boys." He showed your hand. "A snake."

You ripped your hand away from his grasp. "That's a shame." Another said. "And such a nice ass too."

Sweet Pea stood up, followed by the other two, but you motioned for them to sit back down. You saw a man in the back hold up their coffee cup to signal that they wanted a refill, and you nodded to him, thinking of an amazing idea.

You carried a tray of two coffee cups and rectangular solid ice pack over, 'accidentally' spilling a cup on the guy who grabbed your wrist's groin area, igniting a yelp from him. "Oh no, sir I am so sorry." You said in a dramatic way. "Here, you should cool that off." You then forcefully tossed the ice pack to the area of the spill, causing him to bang his fist on the table in pain.

On your way to the back table, you brushed your hand against Sweet Pea's as it was on the table. They all smiled at you. "Here you are sir."

"I saw that, y'know." You began to panic a bit, considering that this job is what kept you eating. "Don't worry, I saw everything else. He deserved it."

You put a hand to your heart and offered him a smile. "My regulars get me." He nodded his head and smiled, and you went back to your job.

After a while the Ghoulies didn't leave, so neither did the Serpents. You offered free chocolate cake to the three of them for staying with you while the others were there. "What's this?" Fangs asked.

"It's your guys' birthdays, remember?" You said, smiling. "Well, that's the only way I can get you free dessert."

Jughead immediately took his slice. "Thanks. We're fraternal triplets."

You gave him a smile. "I knew it." You kissed Sweet Pea's cheek. "Enjoy." You and Sweet Pea shared a look as you walked away.

After your shift was over you came outside and slid beside Jughead in the booth, exhausted. Just then FP came out with a to go box of a big hotdog and fries. "I figured you didn't eat." Sweet Pea excitedly said, proud of the surprised look on your face.

"Thanks babe." You gave him a cheeky smile, quickly eating it and the four of you stepping out of the diner, the Ghoulies following you out.

"We're gonna go to the Whyte Wrym." Jughead said lowly. "Wanna come?"

"Yeah. I don't like the way those Ghoulies are looking at me."

"Neither do I." Sweet Pea said, eyeing them.

"See you guys there then." And with that the other two took off.

Sweet Pea saw how those four guys kept looking at you. He heard all the comments they made, both to you and while you weren't there. He hated the way they were looking at you now. "Sweets, what's wrong-"

He pulled you in for a mind blowing kiss. He knew they were watching, he was counting on it. He needed them to know who's girl you were. He needed to protect you from those disgusting guys. You were the love of his life after all.

When he pulled back he shimmied off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. "Put it on. It's cold."

You smiled and put on the oversized jacket. You cocked your head to the side. "Where's all this coming from?"

"Just want to make sure my girl's feeling safe and appreciated." He smiled down at your adorable form.

You hung your arms loosely over his shoulders. "You're too good for this world Sweets."

He gave you the biggest smile, bringing you closer to him and telling you in a very quiet and low tone, "That's why I'm your world."

A serge of happiness came through you and you jumped up on him, him holding you by your thighs as you wrapped your arms and legs around him. "Ohmigodsweetsthatwasthecutestthingeveriloveyousomuch!" You said while assaulting his face with kisses.

He knew you would act this way to that comment. When it was low enough for only you to hear it, making it more meaningful. Not that he wanted anyone else to hear that, but still. "I love you too." He laughed out, forgetting about the audience watching.

You leaned your forehead to his. "But I love you more."

His hands dipped down to your ass, squeezing. "Prove it."

You hummed in his ear. "If only I could." You said lowly.

Sweet Pea was then getting excited. "What's stopping you?"

"We said we'd be at the Whyte Wrym."

"We'll make a quick stop by."

"We could say that I'm too tired."

Sweet Pea kissed your neck. "I like the way you think." And with that he put you down and you both excitedly took off, leaving those four Ghoulies to angrily watch as you two Serpents was busy being madly in love with each other.

The next day you both woke up late, rushing to school together. You didn't even notice that you were wearing his shirt and jacket. He did notice the jacket, but the shirt was a pleasant surprise. You got teased by all of your friends for it, especially when you both went to the Whyte Wrym after school.

Toni then proceeded to grab a hair tie and tie the shirt into a crop top, causing Sweet Pea to be in an even better mood. Whenever you tried to take it off, the two of them wouldn't allow it.

It game all fun and games until Penny Peabody entered the bar. The whole place became silent. She smiled and sat on a bar stool. "Don't mind me, I'm just getting a drink. Whiskey Toni, if you could."

Toni gave her a dirty look as she poured whiskey into a glass. "What do you want Penny?" Jughead asked.

"Jeez Jug, where's the hospitality? I just came to see how you all were doing." She then looked at you, Sweet Pea immediately putting his arms around you and tugging you closer to him. "And is that y/n? Wow, you've certainly whored up, haven't you?"

She got no response from you, only a glare. She downed her drink, causing Jughead to speak up again. "There, you've had your drink. Now leave."

"I was hoping for a welcoming crowd, but I guess I was wrong." She tossed some money onto the counter. "Bye guys. I'll be seeing some of you sooner rather than later." She then left.

You didn't put much thought into what she said, assuming that if was meant for Jughead, but you were wrong. Sweet Pea took you back to your house and kissed you goodnight, leaving you by yourself in your house while your aunt was gone again.

All lights in your house were turned off as you got ready to sleep. And that's when you saw the bright lights peering out of your window on the second floor. You carefully looked out of the window, only to see a few trucks parked outside, accompanied by multiple Ghoulies.

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Author Note: I'm so sorry guys😭😭 I haven't posted anything for two weeks. I'll try my best to go back to posting AT LEAST once a week.

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Taglist:

@madaboutlili @sireennotsiren @elsie2018 @greyfairie @iamaunicorn4704 @wanna-plan-world-domination @whenallsaidanddone @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @live-love-bailar @thecraziestcrayon @cvvlxx @grim-adventures58 @official--fangirl @jesus-jagiya @skeletalwolfcat @theunofficialduke @punkrock-cinnamonroll @rhi-an-onn @amongthewildthingss @apocalypticriot @anahgiedd

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Hey, I don't know if it's too late for any ships; if it is I'm extremely sorry for bothering you. I was just wondering if you could see me shipped with any of the BohRap guys. I'm an 18 year old Indian girl, currently stuck in college. I have medium length dark brown hair and I wear spectacles. I absolutely love Queen, football (not the American one) 80s teen movies and reading Agatha Christie. Your posts are something I always look forward to. 💕

absolutely! i’ll put your ship below the cut even tho its just one - dont want to spam everyones tl hehe

I ship you with Gwilym Lee! (whew these new gifs of him from the robin hood thing..... could i be turning into a gwilym girl??? also, i make heart eyes whenever i see a gif is from @mazzelloplots​ - as someone wise on the tl said, the devil works hard but ppl who create gifs work harder)

I think you two would work so well together, even with the age difference. Gwilym is such a softy, and he’d definitely worry about your age difference at first, but I don’t think he could stay away from you after long - your intellect paired with your knowledge about Agatha Christie and 80′s movies would be too enticing to pass up.

And although Gwil is more of a rugby guy, he still likes to watch football with you, and even goes to matches with you and Ben, who was your go-to for all things football-related.

Actually, Ben was the reason you met Gwilym in the first place. You’d been friends with Ben for years because of your families, and you were watching a football match at Ben’s house when Gwilym Facetimed him. Ben’s phone was on the counter in the kitchen with you, while he was out in the living room, eyes glued to the TV.

You recognized the face as someone he was working with on BoRhap, and raised an eyebrow as Ben gave a noncommittal grunt from the couch. “Who is it?”

“That Welsh Wanker?” you read out his contact name, Ben snorting and not taking his eyes off the game before waving dismissively.

“You can answer it. Tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”

Taking a deep breath, you hit the green button and answered the call, smiling a bit uncomfortably as the Welsh Wanker’s face filled up the screen, clearly not recognizing you either.

“Er, hello,” he greeted awkwardly, giving you a small smile and glancing between his phone and what seemed to be the road. It looked like he was driving and using a car mount to Facetime Ben. “Is Ben around? Did I call the wrong number? Don’t remember having your number in my phone, think I’d remember your face.”

“No, right number,” you laughed at the muted flirtation from him, walking out to the living room with the phone before plopping down on the couch next to Ben. You showed Gwilym the screen of the TV before panning to Ben, whose eyes were glazed over with focus.

“Ah,” Gwilym laughed, recognizing the football match and shaking his head. “Well, will you please tell him he promised we’d go out for drinks tonight? I’m a couple blocks from his flat and he’d better be ready.”

“Fat chance of that, mate,” Ben snorted, half-listening to Gwilym while he kept his eyes on the screen. “We can have drinks here, on me.”

“How very thoughtful,” you teased, getting a laugh out of the man on the phone. It was a heart laugh, one that was contagious, and you laughed with him as you handed the phone to Ben, who took it reluctantly.

“Well, I’ll be in after a few moments, then,” the Welsh man assented, hanging up with a quick goodbye. When there was finally a knock on the door, Ben groaned as he realized you weren’t going to answer his door too. When he returned from the door, a tall, moderately toned and unbelievably handsome man was in tow, smiling in recognition when he saw you and reaching out his hand when he took up residency in the seat adjacent to the couch. “Sorry I didn’t catch your name on the phone, I’m Gwilym, and you are?”

Taking his hand, you smiled in response and only rolled your eyes a bit when Ben made noises of teasing mockery at the unwavering way Gwilym stared at you. “I’m Y/N, sorry about all of this. I kind of stole Ben for the night, our team’s playing.”

“Oh, you follow football?” Gwilym asked, retracting his hand and forcing himself to tear his eyes away from you.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s a bigger fan than me,” Ben interjected, and you had to agree with that, shrugging and grinning sheepishly. 

The rest of the night, Gwilym chatted back and forth with you, and he was delighted to find out you were a big 80′s movies fan. Although he couldn’t say they were his absolute favorites, he did grow up on quite a few of them, so for someone your age to express interest in them was quite intriguing to him. 

So intriguing, that you ended up planning a movie night together. Following that, you had a plethora of movie nights, Gwilym showing you all kinds of 80′s teen movies you hadn’t even heard of, as well as ones you dearly loved already. And when a nearby theater was briefly showing Say Anything, he took that perfect opportunity to ask you to be his girlfriend in his terribly rambling, convoluted way of saying it.

In fact, he sounded like he was about to have a panic attack.

“Look, I’m just as concerned about the age thing as anyone else, I mean, the tabloids are going to go nuts for this, but as long as you don’t care, I don’t care. And I don’t want you to feel pressured int-”

“Gwilym?” you cut him off, raising an eyebrow as the credits started to roll, people exiting the theater in the dim light and giving no particular attention to the two of you. Gwilym’s arm was around your shoulder, holding you protectively, and your hand was on his knee - to the untrained eye, you looked like any other couple in the theater. “What are you trying to say?”

After a deep sigh, he laughed a bit at himself and scratched his head for a moment, then gave you a charming, bashful smile. “Will you be my girlfriend? Please?”

Grinning widely, you just stared at him for a moment before nodding, and his body visibly deflated in relief as he leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss that still made you momentarily dizzy. When he pulled away, you gazed up at him almost dreamily, and his eyes reflected the same look, although there was still a hint of worry.

“You’re sure you don’t mind the age difference?”

“Gwilym, stop it with the age thing!” you laughed, giving his leg a gentle pat before you stood up, stretching a bit as you waited for him to join you. “The only thing I’d mind is if this turned into some sort of Our Love Is God/Jason Dean type thing, which I seriously don’t see you pulling. I think you’d crumble into pieces before you could even try to lie to me about German bullets.”

“Hey! Give me some credit, I’m an actor!”

“You’re not helping your case, Gwil. The point is that you shouldn’t be Jason.”