#I still feel like shit 💩

[human-rocket]

No Guiding Light update today y’all 😭 I was out of town last week, and have been fighting a viral infection all this week. I have the outline of Chapter 6 done but this one will be a challenge for me. So you can expect the next update in a couple weeks! ✨

[muldermuse]

Naughty List (Gator Tillman X F!Reader)

Gator comes round to reader’s house on Christmas Eve to get his gift.

This is in the two sinners world.

18+ only!! Smut ahead!!! Fic includes sub!Gator, dom!f!reader, oral (f recieving), mentions of wax play and piv sex, teasing language, use of restraints, dry humping, use of underwear as a gag, mentions of spanking with belt, panty kink????, brief aftercare. Reader fucking loves being mean to Gator hahaha I love her (me).

This is the completed version of this lil ficlet. And apologies, I was going to post it on Xmas day but I was too drunk and merry to edit and write. I’m not 100% with this one but it was fun fun fun. Like all the two sinners stuff is. Thank u all for reading and engaging with the series. ❤️ u all.

Ok seeing Gator on Christmas Day is out of the question. He’s spending the day with Glenda and Roy reciting their favourite psalms and thanking the lord for a bountiful Christmas. Glenda goes all out at Christmas, it’s obviously her favourite holiday and she constantly updates her Facebook with pictures of a content looking Roy and an exhausted looking Gator. No doubt, Glenda will have made him a piece of her artwork and bought him some novelty socks. He’ll smile at her and press a kiss to her cheek but you rejoice in the knowledge that thoughts of your Christmas Eve are running through his head. 

[sent at 13:30] You: got your Christmas present at my house. Door will be unlocked for when you finish at 6. I’ll be upstairs 🎁

[received at 13:42] Gator💩🐍: am i on the nice list?

[sent at 13:43] You: no. See you at 6 💋

***

His Christmas present is you- OBVIOUSLY. But it’s a version of you that Gator only really gets when he begs and even then, you don’t always give it him. He asks for this when you eat his ass or when he’s had a week of getting non stop shit from his daddy or Glenda. 

He wants you to turn him on that much his brain switches off.

He wants you to be in control and dominate him. 

You’re wearing a red lace set with garters and pointy red heels. It’s nearly pitch black by the time Gator arrives. You’ve left one lamp lit downstairs to guide him up but, honestly, he knows the layout of your home like the back of his hand. In the bedroom, your curtains are open with the twinkling of outdoor Christmas lights provide occasional flickers that illuminate your white linen bed sheets. A cinnamon candle is glowing by the door and nearly blows out when Gator enters as dramatic as ever. 

You’re sat at the end of the bed waiting for him and you smirk as you take in his expression- seemingly enthralled by your red look. 

“Crawl to me, baby” your voice is low and by the way Gator drops to his knees without hesitation and a look of relief on his face- you already know how tonight is going to go. 

He’s slow in his movement, keeping eye contact with you as he crawls towards your open legs and stopping a few inches from your panties. His eyes are fixed on the damp spot on your red underwear and his shuddering breaths are filling the room. You run your hands through his slicked back hair as you try not to recoil at the unnatural feeling of brushing your nails through hair gel. 

“Y’wanna taste?” He looks up at you with the most love sick eyes you’ve ever seen, he nods slowly as he brushes his tongue over his bottom lip. You grip his hair in your hand as you push him into your panties, “make me cum with my panties still on baby- y’don’t deserve to taste properly just yet”. He groans as he pushes his face further into your pussy. He’s messy with it and you can feel his spit dripping down between your legs. It feels so good and the knowledge that he’s desperate to please you brings you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Take my panties off and make me cum on your tongue Gator, don’t let me down” you throw your head back on the bed as you feel Gator rip your panties down your legs and throw them across the room. He’s that desperate to make you cum he’s moaning into your pussy as he eats you out and you know he’s palming himself over his cargos. Your back arches as you clamp your thighs around Gator’s head and cry out as you cum. 

He’s pressing hot kisses to your thighs as your pussy clenches around nothing, you can feel your breathing begin to regulate again as you come down from your high. Your hand smoothes over his ruffled hair, “that was so good Gator. You did such a good job…good to know you can do something right”. His smile drops at your final sentence. On trembling legs you head over to your closest to get the box that Gator both wants and dreads. The box is full of sex toys, restraints (some crudely made and some from a hidden sex store in town) and things that you’ve seen at a local store and thought could be fun and sexy. Jax has contributed to the box, he bought some candles and teased you for hours by slowly dropping hot wax over your chest whilst fucking you softly. Gator was devastated when he found out and had begged you to do it to him the next day. You weren’t as gentle and he fucking loved it. 

You can hear him kicking off his boots and unzipping his cargos. 

“Did I tell you to get undressed?”

“No but uh- I thought…”

You softly kiss him, tasting the remnants of your cum on his plush lips. “Don’t think baby, I know how hard that can be for you. Just lie on the bed dressed how you are now- hands above your head”. Your voice is authoritative and Gator never wants to disappoint you when he’s in this headspace. 

As soon as his hands are placed at your headboard, you click pink fluffy handcuffs around them and make sure that they are tight. There’s something about the sight of your local Sheriff tied to your bed with novelty pink handcuffs that you love. You’ve taken a picture before and when you really want to fuck with Gator you’ll send it to him when you know he’s working with his daddy. You look at Gator, a silent check in to make sure he’s okay and he replies with a quick nod. He looks fucked out already, his lower face is red from the lace rubbing against it and his usually perfectly placed hair is disheveled. He looks desperate and that’s exactly how he wants it. You retrieve your panties from the floor and sit over Gators clothed cock. 

“D’you really think you’re on the nice list this year baby? Can you tell me anything nice you’ve done for me?” 

You slowly start to grind against his hard cock. When you look down, you can see a wet spot of his pre cum soaking through his cargos. You can feel him thrust up to try and get some friction to his achingly hard cock. You quickly rise so he gets nothing. 

You grip his cheeks so his lips purse out “this isn’t good boy behaviour, Gator”. You inch closer to his face, “if you move again without my permission, you can fucking crawl home to her and fuck your fist to thoughts of me like some pathetic fucking loser”.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’m f- I’m so sorry” he can’t think straight. His hands are in tight fists at the top of the bed and the sound of his breath filling the room. In and out. In and out. Probably trying to slow his breathing so he doesn’t cum when you start to grind down on him again. 

The red underwear is quickly pushed towards his face. “Can you smell my cum baby? You were so good at doing that. Y’want another taste?” He nods as the balled up fabric is shoved into his mouth. You watch in awe as his eyes roll back whilst the makeshift gag stifles his moan. Rotating your hips slowly, you start to rock against his hard cock. 

“Y’know when Jenson was round here a few nights ago. He left his belt, he was desperate to get his pants off as soon as he came in the door”. The fabric of Gator’s cargo is beginning to feel damp, you know it’s a mix of his pre cum and your arousal covering his work pants. It feels so good for you so you can imagine Gator’s getting close to cumming. His eyes are locked onto your body, watching your hips steadily swirl against him. “I was thinking I could use his belt on you, maybe could’ve bent you over the bed and used it to spank you”. His eyes screw shut and you can’t help the laugh that slips out. His body is stiff with tension underneath yours. 

“Gator,” you chide, voice high and mocking “are you gonna cum thinking about me using some guys belt on you? Thinkin’ about me punishing you?”. He thrusts up and rather than backing off him you press your pussy harder against him. Rocking your hips back and forth on his cock and hearing him whimper through the lace underwear in his mouth. You lower your lips to his ear as you order him in a whisper to “cum in your pants before I send you back to your girlfriend and daddy”. He thrusts one final time against you and moans loudly as his eyes screw shut. His hands are in tight fists as he pulls off from the headboard and breaks the handcuffs into two pieces. With his now free hand, he pulls your underwear out of his mouth with staggered breath. 

He’s cum in his pants; the already dark fabric now a darker colour around his crotch. His hands are covering his eyes with the broken restraints around his wrists like pink fluffy bracelets. You hear him curse under his breath as his breathing starts to normalise. He’s usually a bit vulnerable when you take control so you’re more affectionate than usual. Normally, after he cums you’re both in a hurry to leave, not wanting to stay in each others vicinity to enjoy the post orgasm bliss. It has to be different when it’s like this and you both silently know it. He sits up on the bed and you get in his lap again, slicking his hair back down and helping him get out of the now broken handcuffs. You press a soft kiss to his forehead and he grips your hip as a wordless thank you. 

Before he leaves, you hand him your panties with the smell of his spit and your orgasm still on the fabric. He smirks as he tucks them into his back pocket. 

On Christmas evening, he sends you a picture of his hard clock with your panties wrapped round it. It immediately turns you on as you can picture the scene. Glenda and Roy will be asleep in their rooms as Gator is fisting his cock with your underwear. His lip will be red from biting with him trying to keep his moans from slipping out. He’ll be thinking of you and it makes you feel fucking great. 

[received at 23:49] Gator🐍💩: [image attached]

[received at 23:49] Gator🐍💩: best Christmas present this year

[wintersera]

Idk if ur ask are still open but do you mind writing cockwarming g!p gamer girl Gigi or winter (or both 🤩🤩idek how that would work tbhh) because they spend most their time gaming and staying up late and barley having time for you so you just sit there watching them play till they can't take it anymore and at the end they prove they still have love for us in the sloppiest, kinkiest, longest, dirtiest, slutiest, (i think you get it) sex ever just making us feel loved but also being so rough and dominate using us however they like 🫣🫣🫣🫣

Also Can I be 💩 Anon (idk I think it's funny)

cw: cockwarming, dom!winter WOAH, sub!reader

LMAOO 💩 anon??? feeling bad bc i let these imagines collect dust since i’m so focused on the stepcest jiminjeong fic 😭 but anyways!!

gamer minjeong,,, you have me interested. and gamer aeri?? i would write about her but i dont really see her as the gamer type hmmm maybe one day.

being sick and tired of minjeongs endless gaming sessions every damn day. like yess baby get that 5k on val!! but let me suck your dick while you’re getting that ace. saying shit like “minjeonngg, its been days when are we gonna have sex?”

her hitting you with the “just one minute i’m trying to plant the spike” like come on,, doesn’t hurt to have a little under desk support once in a while :((

and it was another day just watching her furiously tap at her keyboard- insulting people down the mic bc they didn’t defuse the spike, or they whiffed all their shots on a standing person…

ouhh,,, so sick of her paying sm attention to some silly characters on a screen that you get up from her bed, swivel the chair around, take her cock out and stroke it gently “mmm,, waittt y/n i need to buy shieldss waittt”

getting her rock hard was no issue. she’s a loser for gods sake, getting her hard came easy she also cums easily. you salivated at the sight of minjeongs massive cock, her precum pretty much oozing from her tip- man how you missed the sight “y/n pleeassee- i need to rank up,, please” she looked up at you with those cute puppy eyes you adored, and as much as it was working, you stayed calm. having an unbearable itch for her cock made it more easier for you to not give in.

“let me just,, ah- fuck okay. god, jeongie i forgot how big you were” to her surprise, you were already straddling her lap.

“ahh.. go on, keep playing” a steady sigh slipping out from your mouth,, her cock twitching inside of you?? seeing that she was pretty much over the edge by the way she was gripping her mouse. jeongie carried on playing like normal, a good 40 minutes of a new ranked game, but she was bottom fragging so badly that it made her jolt in her seat whenever she’d fuck up her shots. funnily enough, her moving in her seat wasn’t ideal bc she moaned every time she thrusted a little into your pussy 😭😭 (LEWSERR)

the more she moved in anger, the more she felt her cock getting harder- in which made her realise that she did, indeed, miss having sex with you. at least she was patient i guess? still focusing on her game because her new priority was winning so she could fuck you good.

jeongie ended up top fragging somehow? gaining 10 more kills and finishing up with a win!!! and with that happiness in mind, she stood up, carrying you with her cock still inside you “okay, mmm okay,, i’ll do it now” taking off her nerd ass glasses off of her face as she walked to the bed, your legs still being around her waist.

keep in mind that she still looks like a complete nerd rn, a biggg ass grin on her face bc she ALSO ranked up!! but then it suddenly changed, from nerd minjeongie to a surprising, but very dom looking gaze. you could see fire in her eyesngmgng making your cunt clench around her cock “…you’ve been so patient with me, you deserve a reward” she would ofc take it slow, her carefully rocking her hips and kissing you everywhere making you feel all loved. yk kissing your lips, deepening it by slipping her tongue in 🫣 breaking it to kiss you neck,, then your collarbone, and then peppering your chest with kisses too like,,, omg. her hands would be caressing your thighs, maybe even drawing some circles on your upper thighs bc shes just so loving like that (jeongie is definitely a thigh girl,, im not projecting i swear) would squeeze them every so often bc it gets both you and her going.

further into it she’d get so worked up. the way your moans would sound so sweet to her that her brain automatically switches off,,, no thoughts behind thoses eyes bc now she’s pounding your cunt so roughly. her hands that were playing with your tits where now squeezing and fondling them aggressively- she’d make you such a mess that it would literally end up with you looking so fucked out. leaving so many hickeys on your neck to prove that she still loved and appreciated you. her thrusts became erratic and messy, like your arousal was everywhere on the sheets and everything,, mmm being so pussy drunk that she’d take your legs and put them on her shoulders and rubbing your clit so roughly, but with care if that makes sense?

her face basically said everything. biting her lower lip and her brows furrowing, she was close to cumming. the way she was gripping onto the sheets and moaning so loudly your neighbours could hear, it made you grow closer to. finally jeongie came- her high pitched moan sent you overdrive, your pussy clamping down hard on her that no drop of cum leaked out as you milked her dry 😭

by the end she was exhausted as fawk.. having to work hard for val and working hard to please you GIRLY WAS OUT.. PASSED TF OUT!?!? but you were happy nonetheless,, finally getting minjeong to fuck you after god knows how many days.

—

mhngng gamer minjeong come over rn i need you badly,, also lawl if this is bad OOPSIES i think i lost my smut writing abilities

[loveandleases]

How would MC's parents, Jade, Chris and the ROs react to an MC who was formerly passive and docile become the kind of person that doesn't take shit because of Jade and Chris' affair? (to the point of pushing back and actively mocking people who try and step on them)

Love this one, answer is below of course!

💩 Chris - Will automatically believe MC is just being mean. All the things, the lead-up, none of that matters to them at that point. To Chris, MC will come off as just being rude/argumentative for no reason. Going out of their way to hurt them.

☢️ Jade - First she will kind of freeze, MC has always and I mean always been there/supported Jade. She won't expect it, and when that shock value wears off Jade will be slightly worried/scared might be a better word. To see someone who has always been kind to her no longer act that way, she won't truly understand. Nor will she care to think as to the reason why. She will just think MC has changed since living with Cam, like that's the problem instead of what really is.

👫🏻Mc's parents - "Why are you being so rude? You were raised better than that. Do you realize how dramatic you're being right now? Do you want to alienate everyone from you?" (Their assholes) ❤️ Cam - Imagine Cam just in the background pumping his fist in the air. He supports this so much. While Cam is sad that MC has changed some he understands it. He is so used to being the one standing up for MC it will take him a minute to realize they don't need his help anymore.

💙G - Will be taken aback but will also laugh about it. Like expect a giggle. G is similar in a way to former MC. G will appreciate that MC is sticking up for themselves, they will respect that. Especially if they can witness MC stand up to a specific person.

💚Kara - She is slightly turned on. Kara gets why MC is no longer taking things lying down. (Unless she gets them to). She will be a bit uncomfortable depending on her relationship with Chris at that time, but she understands why MC doesn't take anything from them, so she will let MC say/do what they need to.

💛M - As someone who has bouts of anger come out, their mask slip just a little M will see how MC acts and find it slightly freeing. Even going so far to be more upfront about how they really feel, which will result in telling many to fuck off and not always wearing their nice act. Part of M feels like MC could protect them, and they love that.

💜Isaac - Not really one for drama, Isaac will be a bit cautious. Isaac doesn't do well with fights with emotions to be frank. So for them, it would take getting used to. Once they do and fully understand that what has happened has brought MC to this point, they will actually come to respect that.

🖤 Ardent - Thinks it's fucking hilarious. Loves that MC just takes no shit, doesn't care what the others (especially MC's parents) think about them anymore. Ardent will find this trait very attractive, even though he will still be quick to the draw to stand up for MC. He doesn't mind when MC can and will tell someone how they feel.

[nillosgarden]

this is my first drabble, soooo - dunno... :')

WELL, THIS IS ABOUT:

JJK MEN AND THEIR TYPES OF DATE (MDNI)

Cw: Satoru is a menace, lol

fluff, little suggestiveness, a lot of simp for geto 🛐

——

SATORU

i think this man likes the most sophisticated places cause he likes to show how much he has to give — believe me, it's something like BIG MONEY. But, he likes to spend more time with you, so you have a lot of cafe dates! This man LOVES to go to a cafe and try the all the pastries (you still don't believe that he can eat that much) while you both chat of things about your days, about everything - Satoru is an open person. He has other side that he rather not show to people, but with you, he feels like he can tell everything. You are a person that he admires a lot.

Satoru is a very flirty person, so sometimes you get so flustered with all the teasing, and he finds it really cute. Even when he said so many things in a fitting room while fucking the shit out of you, saying so many filthy words and cursing about how tight you were... All of this just to step out and see a shocked old woman that was passing when you both were "having fun". You never forgot that day... The shame still gets you everytime that the make-up sessions happens.

Then, when you are wearing a skirt shorter than the usual in a date, he will be teasing about how your thighs are perfect, how you are hot in the skirt, how he wants to take you home and do -- very nasty things. And after all of the tease, he will put a hand on your thigh and caresses it softly.

But you know what you're gonna get in home, girl. ;)

SUGURU

Biker Geto Biker Geto Biker Geto Biker Geto - I literally drool to this fan art. But OKAY -

this man will pick you up and you will (oh, you WILL) stop to admire his toned body with the tattoos and a beautiful luxuous raven hair. You kiss him before you leave for the date, his hand will gently pull your waist, but with a firm grip. Everybody needs to know that he has a girlfriend, whom make everything and everyone stop just to admire your beauty.

After this, he will take you for a ride in the road of the coast, showing you how the moon paints the water with the shine of the stars, and the waves match with the sand. Then, he would stop at some point and lead you into a part of the beach that nobody would interfere. Walk you for nothing more than 10 minutes in the sand – lucky you that he warned that there's a long walk (smart girl, didn't put on high heels). And when you arrive, you see a tent, with some things to eat, and some fairy lights to complete. The fact is - because it is far away from the city, you can see a beautiful constellation in the night sky. Both of you sit and start to admire the stars, talking about everything, but little do you know that he's is admiring another thing - you.

He loves how the light paints your figure so beautifully, how you look so divine with the shining glow in your skin because of the moonlight. In his eyes, you're so sweet, that even the moon would fall for you. Like he falls for you more and more everyday.

Then, he pull you close and you ask him about how the moon shines so perfectly. And then he tells you that you are the only light that shine to him.

——

Awawawawa - *gay panic**

This meeeeeennnnnnnn 🥴🥴🥴 ~~

It is very simple, but i hope you enjoy lol. I'm kinda new in writing this type of things. Soooo, if it is a poop 💩, you know where it comes from

But, bye bye! Mwuah, kissos kissos 💋

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Liam had a nice day with D. & me... I think? I mean... our cat was not really pleased about the short Baby-visit, but well, the little man survived it. 😬

An hour after we arrived home, I got a call back from my doc. He said my results were fine, my Baby's fine. I shouldn’t worry. So we went out with Liam. I played with him in a water puddle next to a kids playground. Under that water puddle was a..... small fountain into the ground. I thought it was off.

But that... water-thing turned on, just as I was standing in that puddle with Liam. Of course I got wet. Daniel couldn't stop laughing, but I admit, it was funny.

Once we were back home, I took off my wet clothes. Daniel head back down to the supermarket to buy groceries. Liam slowly got hungry. Our little stinky started to cry. I didn’t have time to go up to the bedroom to change, so I ran around in my underwear almost all day long. To prevent Liam from starving, I gave him half a banana while I prepared his baby food. Only 5 minutes later Daniel was back. I asked him to help me with Liam, so I could prepare our food. But Daniel, he.......wanted something else, me! He got horny. Just because I was in my underwear. I mean, I didn’t mind. I was glad he... liked me. Still, it was odd. This morning he got out of my way. He barely spoke to me, but now suddenly, he can’t keep his hands off me? And secondly, we were not alone! But Daniel didn’t care.

I washed my hands. I stood with my back to him. I thought D. grabbed a spoon to feed Liam, instead he grabbed me. He kissed my neck & touched me, I got goose bumps. I just let him go on for a moment... I could feel, that he wanted me. But Liam was hungry, so D. let go of me and went to our little stinky.

As I was preparing our meal, I thought about us, our situation. I wondered, if I should talk to him? Ask him, what was wrong with him this morning?.... However, I decided to... simply let things run their course. 🤷‍♀️

After dinner, everyone was full & happy. I looked at them all three. My horny husband, the hungry, dirty baby and our jealous cat. I couldn’t believe it! I actually managed to satisfy them all 3. Me, the only girl in the round. 😁 Okay, I’m honest, Daniel helped me.

Liam that little stinky got totally dirty while eating. But agh, who cares? The main thing he had fun and felt comfortable with us. Only Lucky, our Cat, seemed to have something against Liam’s cheerful, curious mood of discovery. The little one crawled through our apartment. He opened all our drawers he could reach.

He really enjoyed it, until Lucky came along and decided to push Liam. The little one rolled to the side, but he didn’t complain, looking for another quiet corner in our apartment to poop.💩

After Liam took a dump, he just fell asleep on the floor in his pooped diaper. 🤣Daniel and I didn’t get it right away. We were....... busy, but the smell of baby-shit forced me to let go of him. Also, maybe I should finally get dressed?

Anyway. I went back to the kitchen to check on Liam... Oh my, our stinky needs to take a bath. 🤢🤭

While Daniel was cleaning Liam, I went to get dressed. Now that I was no longer naked, I could help D., without him touching me all the time. Of course he was a bit disappointed, but still pretty horny. 🤨 As soon as Liam fell peacefully asleep, Daniel could finally........... vent a bit? 🤭

Ngl, I wanted him too. My hormones were partly responsible. I was pregnant and seeing Daniel with a Baby today, made him even more irresistible to me than usual. Besides, he's hot! Really hot and cute. We can also talk about our probs or the divorce tomorrow, yk? 😬Ugh, I didn’t want to divorce him. 😞💔

Previous/Next

[holylulusworld]

G & CSP (1) - Worst minions ever

Title: Worst minions ever 

Rating: Mature

Summary: You are the villain in this story. Right?

Square 15 filled for @anyfandomgoesbingo​: Arson

Square N3 filled for @allcapsbingo​: Free Space - Villain Reader

Square 5 filled for @howbadcanitbebingo​: Emoticons in fic

Pairing/Ship: Steve Rogers x Villain!Reader

Warnings: language, villain reader, mentions of crimes/arson, hurt Steve, kidnapped Steve, awful minions

Goddess & Captain Sassypants masterlist

Villain. Number one enemy. The outcast. Undefeatable. Badass.

Being the villain in someone‘s story isn’t easy. You always have to come up with an evil plan to show the world you are on top of the food chain. Or at least better than the golden boy you try to bring down.

It’s also not easy when the so-called hero ruins all of your detailed plans. One after another. There is not a day you do not come up with another evil master plan. Only for Captain Sassypants to ruin them again.

Sometimes you got the feeling Captain America chose to be your nemesis. He’s a little too cheerful whenever you have a face-off with the golden boy. Damn that man. Steve getting on your nerves Rogers always tries to talk you into becoming a hero. Or at least not to commit crimes.

Like hell. Captain Rogers may have mopped the floor with you more than once. But you will not give in. Not for him. Not for your family. Not for anything in the world.

He’s strong, you give him that.

Last time he threw you through the wall, bruising more than your ego. Your lower back and ass hurt for over a week. It sucks that villains don’t have health insurance.

You huff as you remember your last encounter with him. He tried to talk you into giving up. Steve Rogers put his hands on his belt, puffed his chest, and gave yet another boring speech about giving up on the dark side.

As if that motherfucker knows anything about you, your past, and the shit you have been through. Villains aren’t born darling; they are made. You had no choice but to turn dark.

“Boss!” you groan as one of your minions, let’s call him Eager Beaver No. 1 (you just don’t have the time to keep up with names) runs into your office. Or rather your fortress of solitude.

Take that, Superman. I just stole your favorite place. What do you want to do? Burn my ass with your eyes. 😐

“What is it? I told you not to disturb me unless the world ends, or you come up with a better plan than burning the Avengers tower down. Arson is my favorite tool to create destruction," you grin. “So, what is it?”

“We got him!” Eager Beaver No. 2 eagerly tells you, much to Eager Beaver No. 1’s dismay. “I captured Captain America!”

You choke on the air. “What?”

“We captured Captain America!”

“Don’t fuck with me,” you grunt. “If you try to be funny, you're not. I got better things to do than listen to your nonsense again, Eager Beaver No. 2. You’ll not get dinner if you lie to me again.”

“Boss, we got him,” entrance Eager Beaver No. 3. “Did the others already tell you? It’s done. Your nemesis is in our hands.”

You watch your minions look at you. Where did you find them again? On a rummage table for useless minions? You swear on all that’s holy to you, they are the worst minions ever.

“Fine. I’m listening.”

“We brought him to the dungeon,” Eager Beaver No. 3 gets his phone out to show you a picture of Steve Rogers restrained on the wall. “See, I sent it to all of your rivals too.”

“Wait-what?” you snatch the phone out of your minion’s hands. “Why is there a 💩shit emoji on Captain America’s face? No one will recognize him, you idiot.”

“Sorry, boss. But you said his hairstyle looks like shit last time,” your minion defends his creative work. “We still got him. Right?”

“How did you even get your hands on him?” you wonder aloud. It can’t be that your minions got hold of Captain America while you failed every time. “Did you use one of my weapons? Maybe the incredible stunner…”

“No. He was distracted. Captain America fought a new villain and—”

You jerk your head toward Eager Beaver No. 1. “He fought a new villain,” you growl. “How dare he! I’m the villain he must fight. Not some wannabe bitch.”

You storm toward the door, huffing as your minions follow you hot on your heels.

 “Boss, I think the villain started this. Captain America just fought back.”

“I don’t care! Captain America is my nemesis. No bitch comes to my town and steals my nemesis. They can get in line or look for someone else. Who do they think they are?”

“They call themselves Minerva or something,” Eager Beaver No. 2 points out. “She wears all gold and uh—her costume is very…nice...and sexy.”

“I don't care," you snap at your minion. “She can run around naked. Captain Sassypants is my nemesis. Period. If anyone kills him, it’s me.”

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves. This is the moment you have been waiting for for so long.

“Boss, do you want us to-“ you jerk your head toward your minion. “Uh-we are going to wait upstairs. Holler if you need us.”

“Sure. Take a day off. You did a good job.”

“Thanks…boss…” your minions run off when you unlock the door to the dungeon.

You put on your biggest grin as you enter the dungeon to watch Captain America sit on the floor. He has his long legs stretched out. He leans his back against the wall as you step toward him.

“Aw, look what the cat dragged into my house,” you crouch down to get a better look at the captain haunting your dreams. "You're hurt.”

You gape at Captain America. His left cheek is bruised, his lips are split, and his neck looks like someone attempted to strangle him. “I thought no human could hurt you like this.”

His silence is unusual as you reach out to touch his forehead. You didn’t even make him bleed during all of your encounters and now there is a cut on his forehead.

“You need to let me go. War is taking place out there. They need me. We can settle our score later,” he coughs. It almost sounds like he’s having trouble breathing properly.

“Who is fucking with our town again, Cappy?” you mutter. “Where is your shield?”

“They broke it,” he says. His voice sounds broken. It’s the first time you hear him so…hopeless. “I never thought someone would be able to do so.”

“Well, lucky you,” you snap your fingers, using your powers to free Steve off the chains holding him to the ground. You offer your hand to him to help Steve up. “I got a brand-new shield for you, Captain.”

“Why?”

When Steve takes your hand, you ask, "Why what?"

“Why are you helping me?” he asks. “You’re my nemesis.”

“I don’t,” you grin. “I will beat that bitch coming to my town to steal my nemesis into a pulp and later, we will settle our score.”

“Of course, we will,” he jumps up, taking you by surprise. “You’re all too eager to get your hands on me again, huh?”

Ah. There he is. Captain Sassypants.

“Let’s find you a new shield and fix the mess you call your face. I’ll send some of my robots to help your friends in the meantime."

“You would make such an excellent hero." You press your index finger to his lips, making him grunt as you are not in the mood for one of his speeches.

“Don’t. I’m a villain for a reason, Captain. As you roughly grip his chin, you say, "I'm neither your friend nor your ally. We will never be on the same side. I just don’t like people coming to my town to claim they are the biggest badass. That’s my job.”

He grins now. “I expect you to try to kill me on Monday, ma’am.”

“Don’t call me ma’am or you won’t make it out of this dungeon alive…”

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[chaifootsteps]

Metallica Anon here. 🤘 In light of the Hazbin leaks and reading everyone's reactions to them, I'm feeling two strong emotions now...

Relief I am feeling a great sense of relief that I, after nearly four years, am no longer emotionally to Hazbin Hotel or anything VivziePop related. I've read a lot of people's reactions here on Tumblr today, and a lot of speculations we had about HH came true. I wouldn't say I've dodged a bullet; it feels more like I've dodged an H-Bomb. I'd bet if I were still a fan of HH today and I watched the leaked episodes, my disappointment would've been immeasurable and my day ruined. Speaking of which...

Disappointment I am also feeling a great sense of disappointment, both with myself and with Viv. I know you've probably me complain about it a bunch these past few months, but I'm still disappointed in myself for allowing myself to become attached to Viv's shows. I'm still trying to figure out why I was so enamored in the first place. Maybe it was a certain gay spider? During those four long years, I had high hopes for Hazbin Hotel. As Peridot from Steven Universe once said, "It could have been great!" Unfortunately, HH was in the dagger manicured hands of Vivienne Medrano. She flushed away essentially every great in the HH Pilot and left us with the absolute clusterfuck of a show that unsurprisingly got its first two episodes leaked. I'm willing to bet that a few years from now, HH will be ranked among some of the worst cartoons ever. (Right up there with Ren & Stimpy: Adult Party Cartoon, Velma, Teen Titans Go, etc.)

*sigh* This is like the 87th time I've ranted about something VivziePop related to you. I don't know how you put up with me or all the other Anons, Chai, but I applaud you for it. 👍

One last thing... Eat shit, Viv! 💩

I think you did indeed dodge an H-bomb, but don't be too hard on yourself for getting attached to the characters. Those characters, written by more talented people, were really something special. Seeing this dumpster pileup makes me grateful we got to know them for the brief time we did.

Eat shit, Viv. Today, tomorrow, and every day.

[mattscoquette]

I just need to rant about my shitty ass friend right now. Look, I love her and all but all she does is talk shit about people, and literally do insane things (asking a guy who likes me if he has a dickhole…) that’s just one example. We’ll call her Chipmunk. Chipmunk has a huge crush on this guy (fluttershy) who she, has probably never said a word to. Anyway the guy I like (shaggy) and some group of random girls apparently were making fun of my other friend (we’ll call her Dora) from the same friend group, and made her cry. At lunch we all went looking for her and stuff. Chipmunk proceeded to make me feel like a bitch for liking him “he literally made your friend cry and you like him? Like his personality sucks. He’s so ugly inside and out like ew” she says other rude stuff pretty much degrading me. It pissed me off but what am I supposed to do? I then proceeded to remind her she only likes a guy because he’s ‘cute’ and he’s the new kid. And she NEVER fucking talks to him, but I talk to shaggy every day of the week excluding weekends. She also is that friend who grabs ass and quite literally points and grabs our boobs and says ‘big boobs’ like it gets annoying getting touched every second of the day. She still never talks to him and tries to get our friend to set them up. She’s a great friend in general but she’s a lot and I still love her.

-💩

no i completely get that :( im sorry love

[fa-by]

Did you miss me?

Hey my babies 👋🏼🤗. How are you? Wow, has it really been that long? It's been 1 year and 2 months apparently and it doesn't seem so 😅. I feel like a part of me should apologize for the absence, so I'm sorry 🙏🏼 but, to be completely honest, the other part of me doesn't want to justify because this is just an app we use to distract ourselves from the reality of daily life 🤭🤣. So, for those who have been wondering, my recap is that I'm 31 now, I've been unhealthy/sick for several things, last year I grieved for my baby girl dog who passed away after 12 years (and who took a piece of my soul with her), I changed my job and I’m being mobbed by my boss every day 😅. The several most important good news? I adopted a beautiful puppy girl in September of this year 😍🤩 and my girlfriend whom you also know well came to me here in Italy twice; once for three months last year, and once for our 2-year anniversary this year by staying for almost a month ❤🥰😍🤩. Oh and, of course, I've started writing again as of today. This obviously has to be put among the good news 🤣. I won't hide from you that I've missed writing, so here I am, although I can't promise that I'll be very active in answering the asks as before due to my various commitments, but I'll try to be here more often 😉.

P.S. I'll only post the 6 most recent asks I've received because I didn't want to create a way too long post, but thanks to everyone for the recent and past messages (even last year's ones) ❤🙏🏼.

You broke my heart with that emoji 🥺. I'm here, dear @sweet-dreamcs​ ❤.

I'm here, my dear Anon 😄. I'm all ears 👂🏼 and I've missed all of you too.

Hello to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄, I answered about my health in the recap at the beginning of the post, thanks for your concern 🤗. I'm fine now, how are you? I hope well 😊.

I do still ship Camren, how could I not? 🤣 I'll ship them forever 😜. And yeah, I saw Laur's new “relationship”, if you want to call it that. I, on the other hand, like to call it for what it is: PR. And that I think explains my thoughts about it 😉.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 well thank you, my dear Anon😄. I like being right 😉. No, I'm just kidding no, I'm not 🤣. Joking aside now, I've already told you guys in the past that everything I post comes from the research I do and that therefore I post only the truth with proofs.

Anyway, yeah I'm not interested in the version with Señorito 😑, I'm just waiting for Mila's undistorted one now. Oh and, my dear? I'm ready for the thousand questions 🤣.

I'm here, dear Anon 😄. As you said yourself, they're both PRs, so don't worry. And I mean it for real. I don't know how I could reassure you guys any better than that since you already know how it works. It's not the first time we've endured it and it certainly won't be the last. Be strong as always, my dear 💪🏼. Don't talk about them around on social media because that's what they want, and hang on. That's my advice, my dear.

Hey to you, dear Anon 👋🏼😄, and I'm okay now. Thanks for asking and I hope you're okay too 😊. Well, how can I answer your question correctly? 🤔🤔

The answer is in your question itself, my dear 🤣. What happened at Coachella and that we saw all over the internet is shit 💩. Yet another display of poor acting. It's as simple as this 🤣. No but, for real. They're simply testing the waters and creating havoc, aka publicity, before Mila's debut with the new label. That's it 🤷🏻‍♀️. Nothing new. Ignore them as I do.

‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

I thank everyone for your concern for me and for continuing to write to me and wanting me back 🥰. I also thank you for the asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. I'm always available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😄. Aaaand let's bring back my tradition, shall we? 👅.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F❤️.

[muldermuse]

this isn’t finished but I wanted to post it for Xmas eve!!!! (Even though here it finishes soon). I will post the completed version soon!!!

This is part of the two sinners world

Gator has a Xmas present at readers house

18+ only!!! Mdni

Ok seeing Gator on Christmas Day is out of the question. He’s spending the day with Glenda and Roy reciting their favourite psalms and thanking the lord for a bountiful Christmas. Glenda goes all out at Christmas, it’s obviously her favourite holiday and she constantly updates her Facebook with pictures of a content looking Roy and an exhausted looking Gator. No doubt, Glenda will have made him a piece of her artwork and bought him some novelty socks. He’ll smile at her and press a kiss to her cheek but you rejoice in the knowledge that thoughts of your Christmas Eve are running through his head. 

[sent at 13:30] You: got your Christmas present at my house. Door will be unlocked for when you finish at 6. I’ll be upstairs 🎁

[received at 13:42] Gator💩🐍: am i on the nice list?

[sent at 13:43] You: no. See you at 6 💋

***

His Christmas present is you- OBVIOUSLY. But it’s a version of you that Gator only really gets when he begs and even then, you don’t always give it him. He asks for this when you eat his ass or when he’s had a week of basically getting non stop shit from his daddy or Glenda. 

He wants you to be in control and dominate him. 

You’re wearing a red lace set with garters and pointy red heels. It’s nearly pitch black by the time Gator arrives. You’ve left on one lamp downstairs to guide him up but honestly he knows the layout of your home like the back of his hand. In the bedroom, your curtains are open with the twinkling of outdoor Christmas lights provide occasional flickers that illuminate your bed sheets. A cinnamon candle is glowing by the door and nearly blows out when Gator enters as dramatic as ever. 

You’re sat at the end of the bed waiting for him and you smirk as you take in his expression- seemingly enthralled by your red look. 

“Crawl to me, baby” your voice is low and by the way Gator drops to his knees without hesitation- you already know how tonight is going to go. 

He’s slow in his movement, keeping eye contact with you as he crawls towards your open legs and stopping a few inches from your panties. His eyes are fixed on the damp spot on your red underwear and the shuddering breaths are filling the room. You run your hands through his slicked back hair as you try not to recoil at the unnatural feeling of brushing your nails through hair gel. 

“Y’wanna taste?” He looks up at you with the most love sick eyes you’ve ever seen, he nods slowly as he brushes his tongue over his bottom lip. You grip his hair in your hand as you push him into your panties, “make me cum with my panties still on baby- y’don’t deserve to taste properly just yet”. He groans as he pushes his face further into your pussy. He’s messy with it and you can feel his spit dripping down between your legs. It feels so good and the knowledge that he’s desperate to please you brings you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Take my panties off and make me cum on your tongue Gator, don’t let me down” you throw your head back on the bed as you feel Gator rip your panties down your legs and throw them across the room. He’s that desperate to make you cum he’s moaning into your pussy as he eats you out and you know he’s palming himself over his cargos. Your back arches as you clamp your thighs around Gator’s head and cry out as you cum. 

He’s pressing hot kisses to your thighs as your pussy clenches around nothing, you can feel your breathing begin to regulate again as you come down from your high. Your hand smoothes over his ruffled hair, “that was so good Gator. You did such a good job…good to know you can do something right”. His smile drops at your final sentence. You stand on trembling legs and go to your closest to get the box that Gator both wants and dreads. 

You can hear him kicking off his boots and unzipping his cargos. 

“Did I tell you to get undressed?”

“No but uh- I thought…”

You softly kiss him, tasting the remnants of your cum on his plush lips. “Don’t think baby, I know how hard that can be for you. Just lie on the bed dressed how you are now- hands above your head”. 

[xcherryxbloss0msx]

I’m thinking about starting to write a wind breaker OC. I don’t know who I’m pairing him with yet but it’s going to be between Sakura, Kaji, or maybe someone else. Feedback would be appreciated!

“You demon. If it wasn’t for you your father would still be with me.” A women’s voice hissed out as she looked at the child in front of her. A child with midnight blue hair with two mismatched eyes stared up at her. Those damned eyes that held no light in them, only indifference as he stared at her. Her lips curled in a snarl before she pulled out a gun. “It’s all your fault.”

BANG

A vibration could be felt on the teenager’s pillow as his mismatched eyes opened slowly. ‘That dream again.’ He thinks before his face turns towards his phone upon feeling yet another vibration. He lets out a sigh as he reaches for it to see who was messaging him.

🎧: Wake your ass up and get ready for school.

🎧: And you better not smell like smoke.

He grumbles as he reads the texts before reaching for his hearing aid for his left ear and slipping it on. The world gets loud once again while he rolls out of bed to get ready for his first day at Furin High. He reaches for the smokes laying on his desk and opens up his window before taking one out and lighting it. He inhales the first hit of nicotine, holds it in and lets it out slowly. Upon hearing a noise below him he looks down and watches a kid around his age with two different hair colors walk down the street.

‘Huh.’ That’s not something you see everyday and he though his hair color was weird. He himself had natural midnight blue hair he got from his father. His mismatched eyes were a mix between his father’s and his mother’s. His left eye being grey and his right one being blue.

He feels and hears his phone go off with another message causing him he groan and flick the rest of his cigarette out the window. The bastard wouldn’t stop texting him until he answers him.

🎧: I can see you read my messages. Answer me you little shit.

💩: I’m up. Leave me alone to get ready.

🎧: Good. I’ll be there in twenty.

He throws his phone on his bed with an amused huff before throwing his clothes on. He wears the black uniform pants with a black slip on hoodie and his uniform jacket on top of it. He picks up his blue tinted sunglasses and slips them on over his eyes. He doesn’t know why he still chooses to wear them even though he and the person who gave them to him no longer speak to one another, not by his choice mind you. Maybe he has a problem with letting go of the past.

He pulls the hood of his hoodie up half way as he makes his way out of his room/living space. His apartment is basically a studio with a bathroom off to the side and a small kitchen. It was cheap for rent so he wasn’t complaining. He brushes his teeth in his bathroom to try and get rid of the smoke smell on his breath, he knows it will not work but he’s going to try anyways. Spitting in the sink he takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror, the four claw marks over his blue eye standing out on his skin. He looks most like his father which he’s grateful for.

He puts his deodorant on and sprays a cologne before he heads out towards his door to slip on his shoes. He’s slipping them on when he hears a banging on his door signaling the arrival of his friend.

“Kirishima! You better hurry the hell up!” He hears the voice of his long term friend, Kaji Ren And it causes him to laugh lightly. He was loud so Kirishima took that as a sign that he had his headphone shoved over his ears.

“I’m coming!” Even knowing he probably won’t hear it he couldn’t help but call back to him. He gives a lazy smile as he opens the door to meet a pair of blue eyes staring into his own. “Damn you’re loud so early in the morning.” He laughs at the narrow eyes he gets in return for his statement.

[loveandleases]

Not me imagining Cam and MC win an important/famous photo contest with MC as a model (maybe some photos are suggestive only a "veil" from artistic nudity) and "love and betrayal" as a theme. How would The Cheater, The Sister, and the families react? What if after a while MC was asked to model for a famous modeling agency/ TV commercials/ clothing brand (Gucci, Saint Laurent etc)?

Cam is a good photographer and I mean damn good. It's the one thing that Cam knows without a doubt he is good at.

Also would like to point out, Cam is very likely to photograph themself with MC. Imagine MC wearing just a thin fabric and the photo is focused on their naked back with Cam's finger trailing down their spine. (below the cut~)

💩 Chris - They would be pissed, it's inappropriate. Regardless of the fact you two are broken up. Cam should not be seeing his sibling's ex-fiancé nude. Chris is heated, was this something they should have been noticing when they were together? Has there always been this kind of chemistry between MC and Cam. I think if MC went on to do more modeling, and became more popular Chris would feel so conflicted. Just because Chris and MC aren't together, doesn't mean Chris has stopped finding MC attractive. So Chris would be thinking about MC...a lot.

💀 Jade - Oh Jealousy~ Talk about absolutely shit-talking the entire idea, it's crass and inappropriate. Why does MC feel the need to be doing this, so openly with Cam no less!? MC becoming more popular is going to make Ms. Cool as a cucumber Jade openly mad, openly annoyed, and envious.

The Clarke's - Actually find it tastefully done (they hate to admit it, likely won't.) They are art connoisseurs. So. I mean if Cam's picture get's famous enough...yeah they will buy it. If Mc goes on to do more, they will brag about owning the painting that "started their career". Talk about trying to get on Cam's good side.

MC's family - MC should have let Jade know about this, it would have been such a good opportunity for her. Mc really should be more considerate of their sisters. (aren't they annoying). They won't believe Cam took the photo. It just looks so well done. If MC went on to do more, expect Mc's parents to act like the Clarke's yet still trying to get Jade in on it.

[therealcocoshady]

It would be nice if he just flat out said he ain’t doing another album anymore but I honestly don’t think that’s his style. Partly because I don’t think he’s even sure of what he wants to do himself. Because he’s doing all these features but no album. Doing producer work but no album. But then he hat if he wants to make an album after saying he wanted to quit? Like I feel like maybe he’s unsure of himself and where he wants to go next, if he wants to go anywhere at all. But I can’t speak for him.

And yes a lot of people shit on us younger generations (me being included in that bc I’m 21) but like… we have done A LOT for the industry already. TikTok/social media is blowing people up and bringing all these old school artists back to life because of US. Because we using it like crazy, driving them sales, money, streams, deals etc. I mean take songs that blew up on tiktok for example. They skyrocketed peoples career, music, and numbers like crazy in days, months, and weeks like never seen before. Take streamers like Kai Cenat for example who literally reacts to music on stream then everyone goes and listens to that music. I mean the man literally had been asked by major record labels to make some sort of promotional deal because he’s helping them out so much by doing a simple and honest reaction… So to say that this generation doesn’t know anything about Hip hop, rap, the music industry, and should just shut up is crazy. 🥱💩. Like sweetheart, we’re the future. Then old heads can only keep you relevant for so long bedsore the next generation comes and names who’s hot and who’s not, who’s getting a Grammy and who needs to sit this one out. Like yes, you have the legacy, you know the game, but hey, you need to be able to keep up at the end of the day.

And Marshall did voice acting in 50 Cents game way back it was so cool and had a lot of traction. I think it’s a missed opportunity too and people would’ve loved it. I mean GTA6 is already deemed as a crazy game for its storyline and trailer alone and it hasn’t even be n released yet. I think he would been perfect for it. Especially since he almost was featured in one previously but it fell through.

Yes I agree ! I think he will still be producing for a long time (and I hope so because he is so good at it). When it comes to actually put out albums… I feel like the end might come soon. Idk why, it’s just a feeling I have ☹️. Hopefully he still has one or two albums in him. But no matter what, even if he stops putting out music for 10 years and decides to change his mind, people will be there for it ☺️.

I feel like both generations (old and young) have stuff to learn from each other and I am so tired of them being at each other’s throat. Also, GOATS like Em (well his team too) have stuff to learn when it comes to the digitalisation and platformization of the music industry, especially in hip-hop. Shady Records would do better if they actually put some effort towards that 👀.

[tutuandscoot]

Ice Dance Falls, Fails and Flubs

Part 2

1. The Aboriginal Dance

Cultural appropriation at its finest. Seriously. How was this not banned??? VM’s Carmen gets banned but not this??

Points for not going with the standard ol’ Russian folk dance but this should never have been allowed. Aboriginal dance is an ancient tradition that dates back 60 000 years, it is a religion for the aboriginal people. There were once over 700 different tribes across Australia, each with their own unique storytelling. It is part of Aboriginal Dreamtime culture and is a way of passing down legends and stories through generations.

So, what specifically is wrong with this above, well other than ALL OF IT:

The music: this is not Aboriginal music, idk what it is but it is not utilising traditional instruments, the “singing” is not culturally accurate.

The costumes: this is just so offensive and inappropriate. Yes, aboriginal culture and dances use face paint (oca to be exact) but not like this. They do not where leaves all over themselves, nor do they wear strings. At one point in the season, he was dressed in a darker unitard and black face- AT LEAST that was banned.

The choreography: this is just not the kind of dancing that can be done on ice. Flamenco, yes, waltzs, yes, country dance, sure. Not this. This Russian team makes it out as though Aboriginals are Neanderthals. They are not. Their dances are are pieces of art and communicate 10s of thousands of years of history. The nose rubbing is not aboriginal but more a Māori (new zealand/ pacific islands) custom.

How this wasn’t deducted all the component scores I have no idea, it’s a disgrace this won an Olympic medal

2. Yuri Balkov: Human Turd 💩

Partly responsible for the shit show that was 1998 ice dance. Banned for a year then back on the panel several times again, and was up to his same shit once again here in 2002. Spineless turd with no respect for the sport he is.

3. Nailed the Ending

This is much better with volume (timestamp 1:11:00 on the Beijing FD video).

Point 1. The lil ‘sexy time’ moment 😖

Point 2. Why is it necessary to put a move like this right at the end when you have just done a lift?

Point 3. Who came up with this? Of course he was gonna dropped her! She has no point of contact on him so how is she suppose to get upright again when she does not have Tessa Virtue’s core of steel??

Point 4. Obviously on the first watch you notice the drop first, but just before that you get an elbow to the face- lovely.

Point 5. The perfectly timed crash drop on the music. Art. I hope she was ok, this is a horrible thing to happen, but the musically comedy of it is just gold.

Also this was a very bad fd.. so boring, bad music.. this ending kinda came par for the course.

4. Weapo’s Twizzles

Bobble bobble bobble bobble fall over bobble bobble

5. FP/M Salt Lake City Edition

Splat.

Come on man! How hard is it to stay up right? (ice skating is very hard but these are Olympic level athletes… supposedly).

It truly does not surprise me it was considered taking this “sport” out of the Olympics. Thank god they didn’t and two precious bby angels came among to rescue it.

Oh yeah btw.. this won a medal 🫣😵‍💫🥴

6. 22 year old high level athlete doesn’t take responsibility for her own costume; chaos ensues.

I was always taught from starting dance at 3 years old- your costume is your responsibility. If it doesn’t feel right, you get the safety pin or needle and thread and you fix it, or you at least make sure someone else does it up for you PROPERLY, obviously no one wants this to happen to them esp not on global television but it was solely her responsibility to fix it (things are different in shows/companies where you have costumers , but you individually- your own costume you are responsible for). To continue complaining about this for the next 4 years is a childish joke and even if the hideous green dress had stayed together you still shouldn’t have won 😘

7. ISU after 1998: “We’re gonna fix ice dance judging”. ISU in 2002: “Psych”.

I hate this and love this an equal amount.

The synchronicity of Rod and Tracey: “They’ve been beaten, by the Israelis”. (Pls don’t take that out of context rn). Tracey was just 100% DONE with all of this.

From Margarita and Povilas in their crowns, her throwing hers off and storming out. Jeff Buttle shouting ‘WHAT THE FUCK??’ Iconic.

8. Scooter’s Nose Bleed

Poor bby. Iconic way to finish off your first National Championships win. Then they make you go out and do an encore 🤦‍♀️. I love in the first gif how Shay pops into the shot 😂

Also ironic thinking about a certain team at 2017 worlds getting blood on each other and their reaction… do you think T even blinked twice at getting S’s nose blood on her?? I don’t think so..

[hislittleraincloud]

Grandpa Tor Remembers: Camping with UMass Boys (and their plentiful tents)

So (2) people want to know about the time my girlfriend and I put on a show for a dorm full of guys.

Alright. 🫠

It was the Fall 1993 semester at UMass Amherst, and my girlfriend (let's call her...'Kelly') was dorming with a Puerto Rican girl who was obsessed with Luis Miguel (this girl was a walking stereotype of Puerto Ricans 💀). There were posters of the guy all over the room — along with the requisite Jesus iconography/crucifix on the damn wall — without any space for my girlfriend's shit, so if we were going to be doing anything, we'd still be surrounded by that guy's face (and fkn Jesus, when Kelly was Jewish and I was atheist 😭🤣). This roommate hated being around my gf and hated it even more when I was around, so thankfully the weekend this happened, she had gone home to wherever the fuck she was from (Holyoke, I think) and my gf let me know so I could hop a bus over. Zero to do with the story, just setting the weird ass scene I was shuffled into at that time in my life. If I recall, her roomie wanted to be a nurse, too. 💀💀💀💀💀 But she was also big religious/a big Jesus beater, so she hated being roomed with a free-spirited Jewish lesbian like Kelly and made Kelly's life Hell whenever she was around.

Me being highly sexed and Kelly being receptive all the time led us to start fucking as soon as we got up into the roommateless room. Today, there was a banana involved, but the boys did not see that part. 😉🍌 Yes it went where you're thinking...not into me though 💩

Her bed was next to the wall and window. If you sat up in the bed, you could turn your head to see out the window and see the other dorms across the ways.

I was lying on my back on the bed and Kelly was doing her usual sexy stripper dance over me (this was a thing she did for me/us...easy to do with the Lords of Acid blasting around you)...and she suddenly turned beet red and started laughing.

Now when Kelly turned beet red and started laughing the way she did at the time, you know something's fucked up, so I sat up and asked her what was wrong. She knelt down and her laughter got worse (she was the giggly type). She pointed towards the window, so I looked out to see a whole fucking bunch of guys watching her from the windows of the other dorm (like... I'm not talking just a couple of guys... I'm talking dozens, since the windows were filled up with smiling, amused young college boys).

So instead of getting embarrassed, what did I do...I got on my knees and told Kelly to calm it and to straighten her back so they could see us pressed together. After waving at them, I (we) pulled a Cairo for their male gaze

after which they were all cheering like it was a fucking football game and someone just scored a touchdown.

Our kissing lasted much longer than the above drunken Male Gaze Kiss, so I hope some of them enjoyed themselves. We did not show them anything else besides boob (we were both un our bras and I flashed them, but Kelly was too shy...maybe because hers were big and mine were like Ortega's), but they seemed satisfied just to watch us make out and feel each other up. College boys in the '90s were too easy, and we both had our pick (but we were too picky...both interested in older men). Kelly said she wasn't sure if she could show her face on campus after that but all was good, she was never bothered by anyone about it.

I know, it wasn't as big of a show as you expected. We didn't fuck in front of them (well, we technically did, but they couldn't see it...and they knew that we were going to because before I sank back down onto the bed with Kelly, I gave them a final wave and a 👅✌🏼...I could see some disappointed faces but most were happy and waving g'bye back 🤭). We saved that kind of thing for later, when we fucked in front of my big dicked comics store boss who wanted to join in (but we didn't let him). 👹

Next story? I suppose I ought to do a new poll.