#I started plotting for all this like last year already

[ittybittyfanblog]

Error 404: Spin-off – Pt.3

Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a player. Sylus went ahead and got himself mortalized, what a chad. (That’s it, that’s the plot.) Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, suggestive language and fluffy whatnots A/N: Domestic bliss, my love. (Also, a pivotal character returns.)

(main series) - Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3

It’s the third Sunday of July, and the little studio you’ve called home for over half a decade is almost barren—save for the large TV box and two overstuffed suitcases lined up by the front doorway.

You give the place one last good once-over. The space looks almost unrecognizable without all the clutter, and what's left are ghosts of what's lived here: the mysterious stains from accidental spills, the unsightly dings and old dents on the walls, and the tiny holes left behind from all the picture frames and random posters you’d tacked up over the years – some with bits of sticky residue still clinging on, bound to take a chunk out of your safety deposit.

There’s a pang that comes with seeing the space this empty. And it’s only natural, of course, to feel a little something—more than a little something—for a place you’ve gotten used to looking at every single day, day in and day out. 

The excitement is there, too. But for now, you let yourself sit in this last dredge of nostalgic reminiscence as your eyes scan the empty expanse in front of you. A quiet goodbye to the home that held your life—your noise, your mess, all the short triumphs and breakdowns that made up your twenties.

Goodbye, weird water stain on the ceiling. Goodbye, suspiciously cold corner that’s definitely not haunted. Goodbye, goodbye.

From the corner near the doorway, Maru yowls his complaints from inside the plastic confines of his portable prison.

“If you weren’t such an escape artist, I could just carry you, you know,” you remind him with mild disdain. He meows louder in response. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go join your dad upstairs.”

With a laundry hamper balanced in your arms and the harping furball slung over one shoulder like a disgruntled (fluffy) backpack, you head for the fire exit, left of the hallway, and painstakingly make your way up to the eighth floor.

You and Sylus are officially moving! … Into a unit two floors above. 

It’s a brand-new chapter of your lives – a big step you’re taking together as a couple, even if the literal distance is only a few meters away from where you started.

You’ve had this conversation with him maybe a handful of times over the past two months. It was a mutual decision for the most part; your current place barely has room for one person and a cat, let alone a six-foot-five behemoth of a man with shoulders as wide as the doorframe. To his credit, Sylus had adjusted with all the patience of someone who didn’t mind sharing what was essentially a miniature version of his old walk-in closet with you. 

But even you have to admit, watching him try to navigate the cramped layout of your studio felt a bit like watching a mountain lion pacing in a cage the size of a shoebox. You’d said as much one night—offhandedly, more rueful ribbing than anything, while watching him sidestep around the kitchen with the awkward grace of someone used to bigger spaces.

He didn’t take it badly. Just smiled, and asked if you were finally ready to move. You were.

The two of you had only just started scouting for apartments around the area when you spotted the flyer for a vacant unit taped to the corkboard by the lobby entrance. You weren't really expecting much, but it was the closest option out of the six you’d listed in your notes app, and both of you figured to might as well call the number. Next thing you knew, you were pencilled in for an inspection later that same day.

And the unit turned out to be surprisingly spacious.

More than you expected, honestly. A proper two-bedroom. Seventy-one square meters internal, with its own separate laundry room – already equipped with a dryer, no less. 

The place looked relatively new, or at least recently renovated, with its fresh coat walls and neatly grouted bathroom tiles. The living area had enough space for a sofa, a proper dining table, maybe even a bookshelf in the corner—and room for a lot more.

You were eyeing the second bedroom, already converting it into a shared office space of sorts in your head. One side for you, one for Sylus, divided by the wide sliding window centered on the back wall. The afternoon light filters in quite nicely, and you couldn’t help but imagine two matching desks with a dark walnut finish beneath where the sun hits, or maybe a long one you could share, with enough space for both of you to work without feeling cramped. 

Perhaps a corkboard and some ambient floor lights, even a little gaming set-up that’s more than just a corner of your bedroom, too. 

Further along the viewing, the middle-aged realtor rattled off other features to sell it: a brand-new dishwasher, the very good central heating, the AC (“–and the living room has its own air conditioning unit,” “Oh… wouldn’t that be expensive to run?” “It’s a split-type unit, Ma’am,” “Ah–?” “More cost-efficient than ducted systems, sweetie.”) that had you hemming and hawing, not quite ready to say yes to the very first option you’d seen (and liked). Besides, it was on the steeper end of your budget, and the one in Belmore also looked promising, with a cheaper monthly rent, so...

But then you saw the balcony, and suddenly, you got tunnel vision.

Fourteen square meters. God, it’s big enough to bring out a cozy outdoor sectional, and oooh, you’re already picturing fairy lights strung along the railing, maybe some candles. Not to mention, the few potted plants you’ve managed to keep alive could finally get some actual sunlight out here. They might even thrive for once, the little stragglers. 

You can already see it: cold brews in the morning and a smoke, lazy afternoons paired with a glass of bubbly. Evenings cuddled up under a blanket, the view of the city as far as the eye can see. 

A whole, private nook for yourself and Sylus. (And Maru.)

The sun had just started to sink, bathing the horizon in a soft, golden wash that only happens for less than thirty, maybe forty minutes at most. You checked the time—5:23. 

The light stretched long and low across the terracotta tiles, warm against your feet, drowning your sight in a pretty amber. It felt serendipitous. 

(Or maybe you were just looking for a sign. Either way, you took it for what it is.)

Sylus saw the way your eyes sparkled and merely chuckled, wasting no time to inquire about the next steps in applying for the lease.

It’s an exciting prospect, and you can’t help but feel a little giddy—more than a little giddy—at the idea of moving into a newer place like this, but you’re trying to stay realistic.

You’ve been freelancing for the past two years, with your part-time gig at the bistro helping to fill in the gaps. And you’re still not quite sure what Sylus does – apart from a conservatively vague answer relating to tech, which always has you side-eyeing the annoyingly inscrutable man before his usual redirection. 

You’re well aware that getting approved isn’t guaranteed; not with your less-than-stable income situation, the questionable lapses in Sylus’ “employment” history, and especially not for a unit this nice. Unless they’re factoring in your long-standing tenancy, the chances aren’t as foolproof as you would’ve liked it to be.

Still. Before the week was over, you got the call. You’ve got the place. 

You were half-listening in as the agent droned on about the earliest available date to move in, the initial deposit and the four-week bond, and when you’d be by to pick up the keys. Your smug-looking partner answered on your behalf, since you were practically a sitting duck at the time, bewildered that the both of you actually managed to get approved.

So now you’re here, in the final stretch of hauling your things up to your new (!!) apartment, one you now share with the love of your life, and you couldn’t be more ecstatic. (If only your son shared the same sentiment, but alas.)

Although, alongside the excitement and joy of securing the place, a tiny part of you can’t help but wonder how it all happened so fast… and if Sylus had some weird hand in making it happen. 

You don’t want to sound ungrateful! Really. But the process went by a liiiittle too smoothly, a little too conveniently for your taste. Enough to have you throwing suspicious glances at your boyfriend. And knowing him… well. 

There’s also the matter of not fully understanding what his current job entails, damn it. Or how the very basis of his existence somehow manages to bypass a whole bunch of legalities. A part of you is always half-prepared for the CIA, or even NASA, to come barging in on your door one of these days. Oh god. You’ve got six fake aliases prepared and not a single convincing cover story rehearsed.

(You’re sure you’ll be able to get a straight answer out of the—former?—criminal mastermind. Eventually. Past all the evasiveness, one way or another.)

You already consider the new place a luxury. But for Sylus, it might just be a rung above a complete hovel. There’s that small, persistent anxiousness you haven’t quite been able to shake—since day one, if you're being truthful. Like you’re in The Truman Show, playing house with someone who’s used to penthouse suites and jetting the world at the drop of a hat, and now forcing himself into adjusting to your version of reality for weeks on end. 

Sometimes you wonder if he’s just… rolling with it. Humouring your bouts of domestic enthusiasm while quietly yearning for his old in-house wine cellars, his boundless riches, and his floor-to-ceiling, ballistic-grade glass windows. You worry, sometimes, that he’s merely settling. For your sake. 

But he’s never given any sign that he’s anything less than content with the life you share now, so you let the thought settle quietly in the back of your mind. Something to unpack another time.

As you round the corner, you spot the door at the end of the hallway half-open. You grin.

Jogging the short distance, you adjust the basket in your arms and rap your knuckles lightly on the wood, already pushing the door wider with the tip of your toes.

“Package for a Mr Silas?” you sing-song. “Heyo, Mr Sil– whoa, okay. Careful with those guns out, sir. Are you aware that it’s a criminal offense to be packing that much heat in this part of the state?”

The ‘Mr Silas’ in question snorts, feigning exasperation as he glances at you over his shoulder.

And what an immaculate shoulder it is.

The sleeves of his grey crewneck are rolled high past his biceps, framing the thick lines of his arms as he hauls three stacked boxes in one hand and a duffel bag under the other. The front of his shirt is damp with sweat, clinging to the hard cut of his chest, while the humidity has curled a few dark strands loose at his temple. The high points of his cheeks are flushed pink from the muggy air drifting in through the open windows, and suddenly, you’re having very specific thoughts about breaking something in the house just to watch him fix it. 

Shirtless—what, who said that–

You didn’t know you had a thing for sweaty, blue-collar, but: hello, sailor.

Fuck, physical labor looks good on your man. You’re his biggest fan.

He sets the boxes down with practically no effort, turning toward you with one brow raised. “Keep looking at me like that, and I’ll start charging hourly.”

“If I ask nicely,” you suggest, shameless in your ogling, “will that warrant extra service?”

“Always for you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You giggle. He just shakes his head, fond.

You plop Maru down with a thud, setting the hamper beside the rest of the boxes by the wall. Simultaneously, fishing out your teal AquaFlask and a face towel, you unzip the pet bag—an orange blur rockets out, making a beeline for the open bedroom. No doubt to hide under the bedframe, where the double mattress had already been set down sometime earlier in the move.

You cross the room and gesture for Sylus to lean down.

“C’mere.”

He complies wordlessly, bowing his head so you can brush the damp strands of hair from his forehead. You dab at the sweat across his brow, carefully wiping down the side of his neck. 

“You should rest for a bit,” you tell him. “You’ve been at it since this morning.”

You twist the cap off the water bottle and bring it near his mouth. 

“Drink.”

Obediently, he tilts his head and drinks, steadying your hand as he finishes almost all of it in one go. When he pulls back, he exhales, smacks his lips, and leans in to steal a quick kiss. “Nearly done, my love. Just the suitcases and the TV left, hm?” You hum in affirmation. “Last two trips, then.”

“I’ll help with the suitcases?”

“If you want,” Sylus shrugs, then gestures loosely toward the bedroom. “Or maybe start unpacking some of the lighter stuff? The linens for the bed, perhaps.”

You squint at him. “I am strong enough to carry things too, you know.”

He grins, reaching out to flick your nose. You wrinkle it on instinct, and he smiles like that’s exactly the reaction he was waiting for. 

“I know, sweetie.”

Then he flashes you a warm look. Entirely too tender for what comes out of his mouth next: 

“I just figured you’d want to start with the bed, since I plan on eating you out on it later.”

You gape at him, making an indignant swipe in his direction—but he’s already sidestepping, laughing low as he smoothly ducks out of reach. His palm catches you squarely on the ass in passing, a sharp little smack that makes you yelp.

By the time you spin around, he’s already halfway to the door. 

“Incorrigible,” you mutter under your breath as you dutifully head for the bedroom. 

After fixing the bed – tucking in the fitted sheet, haphazardly throwing the duvet over, fluffing up the pillows against the headboard as a stray paw randomly swats at you from the ether – you move on to unpacking a few more boxes stacked in the corner.

You pull out your lava lamp, still wrapped in newspaper, the collapsible room divider, and a mix of vanity knick-knacks: perfume bottles, your ‘handmade’ ring holder vaguely shaped like a lily pad, a small fake cactus. You start setting them out, arranging things in little clusters, nothing short of organized clutter. 

Not long after, you hear the front door swing open again and the wheels of your suitcases rolling in across the floor.

You poke your head out. “Need help with the TV?”

Sylus calls back, easy as ever. “I’ve got it.”

You shrug and return to your pile, pulling over a battered box that’s clearly been around a while – dusty, half-caved in, multiple layers of yellowing tape stuck on top of each other that you slice through with a key. Must’ve been one of the bigger ones you’d kicked under the bed ages ago, out of sight, out of mind.

Inside lies a heap of forgotten things: high school mementos, faded ticket stubs, a cracked snow globe. Your college diploma. Trinkets and letters, old birthday cards from people you haven’t spoken to in years. Little gifts and odd collectibles that haven’t seen the light of day in a long while.

You sift through them slowly, your fingers brushing over paper and plastic, worn edges soft with time. A bittersweet feeling creeps in as you fall headfirst into the slightly treacherous rabbit hole of your past lives.

That’s how Sylus finds you: cross-legged on the floor, holding a Toji Fushiguro Funko Pop that Khol got you for Christmas nearly a decade ago.

You glance up and find him standing in the doorway, arms folded, eyes narrowed in open scrutiny at the figurine in your hands.

You hold it up helpfully. “Look, it’s Toji.”

“Who is that.”

Your brows furrow. “You don’t know Toji?”

“Doesn’t ring any bells,” he replies, flat and slightly surly.

You let out a soft, curious little “huh,” turning the toy back into your lap, absently stroking your thumb over the vinyl hair. “He’s a character from this anime I used to obsess over. Khol gave it to me as a gift.”

“That’s nice, but he isn’t real, sweetie,” Sylus intones wisely, zeroing in on the way you’re caressing the plastic toy a little too ardently. “It’s not healthy to lust after fictional men.”

“I–” You pause, eyes widening in realization. “Wait. Are you jealous?”

“Cease the thought,” he deadpans. “There’s simply nothing to be envious of. He isn’t even alive.”

“You’re jealous!” you exclaim gleefully, eyes lighting up as Sylus strides over and drops into a squat beside you.

“Aww, don’t pout,” you tease, mock-gentle. “You’ll always be my favorite, promise. Even if, by some divine miracle and another fluke of fate, Toji somehow—mmph!”

Sylus cuts you off with a firm kiss. Quite rudely, in fact. But the heat behind it more than makes up for the lack of manners.

When he pulls back, you’re left blinking, slightly winded. While you’re still reeling, he casually plucks the figurine from your hand and pulls you up onto your feet. “Come now. Back to unpacking.”

You end up back in the living room, settling onto the floor beside Sylus as the two of you start rifling through the rest of the boxes. Your whole life, folded and crammed into fairly neat, packaged pieces, just waiting to be taken out and slotted into the bones of this new home. Your new home. 

You’re elbow-deep in a tangle of extension cords and bubble wrap when Sylus pauses mid-reach beside you. 

He huffs out a sharp laugh. You glance over just in time to see him pulling something long, red, silicone, and alarmingly familiar from the depths of a nondescript box.

“Alright, now where are we placing this one—”

Motherfucker. You lunge forward and snatch the dildo out of his hand before he can even finish speaking. “Keep your hands off Big S.”

“Big–” He starts, then cuts himself off, scoffing in amusement. “I’m off by an inch, sweetheart.”

You sniff haughtily, clutching Big S with what little dignity one can muster while holding a massive rubber schlong. “He kept me company on those long, lonely nights before you showed up, so put some respect on his name, thank you very much.” 

Sylus opens his mouth, then pauses—looking genuinely thoughtful for a moment. 

Finally, he nods, solemn. “Okay.”

“…Okay?”

He smirks at you, holding out a hand. 

Warily, you pass it back. He sets it delicately on the edge of a pile labelled: Essentials. 

“Maybe we’ll find the proper time to commemorate him later.”

Huh?

The smirk widens. “In his honor, sweetie.”

Oh. 

- - -

By the time the bulk of the unpacking is done, the apartment has started to resemble something partially lived-in; boxes are half-emptied, some of which lay deconstructed on the floor. The remaining daylight outside spills in through the windows, dust motes floating in the gold of the afternoon.

You can’t help but notice, as you're stacking plates and cutlery on the island counter, that Sylus’ share of belongings is quite modest compared to yours. 

Most of his things easily fit into one corner, almost swallowed up by the rest of the mess that surrounds it. A few changes of clothes—mostly denim and dark leather—a sleek black laptop, and some paper files that have already disappeared somewhere into the second room.

Mixed in with the rest are a couple of objects that catch your eye. Not because they’re particularly flashy, but because they’re familiar. 

There’s the iconic brooch you recognize from the game; the ruby stone center glinting under the light, ringed in tarnish-proof silver and his signature crow insignia. You’ve held it before, more than a few times, delightedly turning it over in your fingers with his—amused—permission.

Then, the silver glasses. The first time you caught a glimpse of him wearing them in your periphery, you let out an involuntary squeal and immediately dropped whatever it was you were doing prior to this titillating discovery. You spent a full hour circling him like an overexcited hawk—prodding, staring, unabashedly fawning at your unfairly hot boyfriend as he kept typing away on his computer, indulging your whims with nothing but resigned fondness reserved only for you.

You gesture at the pile. “So, just those?”

His gaze lingers, briefly, on the second drawer of the dresser a few feet away. You don’t notice.

Sylus hums noncommittally as he zips his bag shut. “More or less.”

There’s another thing, you’ll realize later. Small enough to fit in a palm. Tucked away somewhere out of sight—for now.

He pulls you in his arms as the sun starts to dip lower in the sky. The apartment is quiet, save for the distant hum of traffic and the usual creaks of the old building. His chin rests atop your head, and the two of you sway to the tune of some inaudible rhythm.

“This isn’t what you’re used to,” you murmur, breaking the silence. 

“Not quite, no.” 

Maru finally emerges out of hiding, cautiously padding out into the open. His nose twitches as he starts sniffing his way around the new place, tail flicking as he makes his rounds, like a fat little sentry inspecting the perimeter.

You hesitate. “You’re happy?” With this? With me?

He squeezes you tighter in response to the unspoken question.  

“Yes,” Sylus says. “I am. Very much.”

And it’s enough, you think, eyes dropping shut as he presses a kiss into your hair. More than you could ever ask for. 

End A/N: Yes, it’s the monster cock. Neither enemy nor foe. Mayhap?? Even a surprise tool that will help them later. 

Tagging: @xxfaithlynxx @browneyedgirl22 @yournextdoorhousewitch @sunsethw4 @stxrrielle @mangooes @hrts4hanniehae @buggs-1 @michiluvddr @ssetsuka @imm0rtalbutterfly @the-golden-jhope @beomluvrr @bookfreakk @ally-the-artistic-turtle @sapphic-daze @sarahthemage @cchiiwinkle @madam8 @slownoise @raendarkfaerie @sylusdarling @luminaaaz @greeenbeean @vvhira @issamomma @blueberrysquire @lovely-hani @fiyori @peachystea @aeanya @sylus-crow @queen-serena88 @xthefuckerysquaredx @rayvensblog @poptrim @goldenbirdiee @amerti @angstylittleb1tch @reiofsuns2001 @j4mergy @touya-apologist @gladiolus-mamacitia @btszn @wrimaira @writingmyladsdelusions @borkunlimited @magnoliaswriteatsunset @longlivedelusion @beesin03

[dogwithbird]

Lyin' Eyes

part two of dirty work ->

Late at night, a big old house gets lonely I guess every form of refuge has its price And it breaks her heart to think her love is only Given to a man with hands as cold as ice

Joel takes care of you while your husband is out of town.

----------------------

no outbreak contractor!Joel Miller x Reader

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings/Tags: no outbreak au, infidelity, smut, unprotected piv, oral sex (joel eats it from behind 😇), car sex, semi-public sex, porn with too much plot

(you can def enjoy the smut in this on its own but I highly rec reading part 1 first!)

Read below or on AO3 ->

Your day was not off to a good start.

You began the morning with what was supposed to be a friendly tennis match: instead, you were absolutely demolished by the impossibly peppy and abundantly energetic Mary Frances Whitlow, a woman who somehow managed to juggle twin toddlers, four board appointments, and a standing blowout at nine every Thursday. She chaired committees for the symphony, the hospital foundation, and something she founded called “The Green Ribbon Gala.”

Her ponytail swung with every victorious hit and you were confused by the fact that she didn’t seem to sweat. Between sets, she chirped about sleep training and silent auctions, how she was deciding if she should enroll her twins into the Mandarin or the Spanish immersion program at Pre-K, and how she and her husband Trip were trying for a third.

You had no stories to share with Mary Frances. You guessed that telling her your secret might not solicit a positive reaction.

You imagined it for a moment, though: saying it out loud.

Just leaning across the net after your match, brushing imaginary lint off your skirt before offering,

“I’ve been having a torrid affair with the contractor my husband hired and it’s the happiest I’ve been in years. You should try it!”

You wondered what she’d say. Probably blink a few times, laugh politely, and tell you that you were such a hoot!

You listened to Mary Frances talk about baby names — we love Annabelle for a girl — christenings — Trip just insists on inviting every last cousin he has — and Christmas cards — we can’t decide if we should wear all white or coordinating tartan.

You zoned out and fantasized about Joel’s hands on your hips. His breath in your ear. The way he could make you feel full and seen and wrecked, all at once.

“It’s really just a matter of weight transfer! I used to struggle with it too — you’ll get there!” You were snapped back into reality, your humiliation compounded.

You smiled. Said thanks through your teeth. Got in your car and cranked the A/C and gripped the steering wheel until your knuckles went white.

By the time you got home, sweat stained and red-faced, your husband was already halfway through a work call in your bedroom, barking something about deliverables and bandwidth as he packed his suitcase for another work trip. You hovered in the doorway, hoping for a glance, a nod, any signal that he saw you — but he turned away, already pacing toward the closet.

You abandoned your plans for a shower and instead sauntered back downstairs to make a smoothie. You dropped in a handful of frozen berries, almond milk, half a banana, protein powder. Watched the blades spin. Watched the color change from cream to pink to something purple-gray and vaguely unappetizing.

Your phone buzzed, bouncing off the marble.

It was Joel. Thank God.

Still need help picking those drawer pulls?

He was referring to the ones for the butler’s pantry — a decision you’d been putting off for two weeks, partly because you couldn’t bring yourself to care, but mostly because you liked having a slew of excuses in your arsenal to get Joel to come by.

You stared at the message for a moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard. Then you typed:

I need help with a lot of things.

You hit send before you could think better of it.

Three dots appeared. Disappeared. Then reappeared.

You home?

Before you could reply, you heard your husband’s footsteps pounding down the stairs.

“I’ll be back Thursday,” he said, rolling his suitcase behind him. He kissed your cheek, a dry and distracted afterthought, and walked out the door without waiting for an answer.

The smoothie sat untouched on the counter, threatening to overflow in its glass and stain the marble. You stared at your phone. Typed, deleted, typed again.

I need a drink.

You cringed at your own message.

You drink through that big new bar already?

A grin spread across your face. Joel and Tommy had just finished the new wet bar a few days ago; you and Joel had celebrated by fucking on the counter, of course. Your mind wandered, thinking about that afternoon. The way he’d pushed you down over the counter, positioned himself behind you. The way you could see both of your reflections in the mirror-like shine of the backsplash tile. The way he’d leaned down, kissed the back of your neck, whispered in your ear — such a good girl, getting my cock so fucking wet.

Before you had the chance to reply, he texted you again and snapped you out of your fantasy world:

I’ll pick you up at 7.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel’s truck hummed into the drive at 6:58. You watched from the foyer as he shifted to park and pulled down the visor. He carefully opened the encased mirror and ran and hand through his hair; you grinned in anticipation of messing it up.

Before he had the chance to come in, you made your way outside and beelined towards him. Southern gentleman he was, he got out and opened the passenger door for you, hand grasping at your waist to support you as you clambered inside, your dress riding up in the process and earning a wolfish look from Joel.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed out through his teeth. “You tryin’a kill me tonight?” His hand lingered, sliding down to your outer thigh, and you swatted it away, nervous one of your nosy neighbors might see. Someone had probably already logged some damning Ring camera footage.

The cabin of the truck smelled of sawdust and mint and a hint of tobacco, a scent you immediately recognized as being Joel. He’d been trying to quit smoking at his daughter’s urging; he was constantly chewing on minty Nicorette with mixed success. Joel slid back into the driver's seat, his eyes never leaving you even as he reversed the car down the drive.

Your usual bravado had fled, leaving a void in your brain. As you settled into your seat, your mind raced, grappling with the enormity of what you were doing. It was both exhilarating and terrifying to be outside the confines of your house. Until now, everything had been neatly packed away within the walls of your house. Now, you were in uncharted territory. Territory where you couldn’t control the outcome. For a moment, words eluded you.

“Hi,” you said finally, voice landing in a place between shy and desperate. The sound of your own voice startled you in its raw vulnerability. This was not like calling for him from across the marble countertops or moaning his name against cool tile; this was real life pressing in on all sides.

Joel’s gaze lingered on you and threatened to unravel whatever semblance of composure you'd mustered.

“Evenin’, stranger.” His drawl coated each syllable with slow intent; just hearing it made something deep inside your ribcage hum. You’d never seen Joel dressed so … well, you weren’t sure if nicely was the right word, but you had never seen him in a shirt with buttons on it; in jeans without holes, or grime, or both. Joel wore dark wash jeans and a flannel button down that it was too warm outside for. He’d slicked his hair back with some sort of pomade that smelled like pine and citrus; salt-and-peppered strands of hair fighting between the heat and the hair pomade.

Joel took you to a hole in the wall dive-diner hybrid where you were certain you wouldn’t see any members of the Junior League crowd you’d ingratiated yourself into. He snorted when you asked him if he’d made a reservation. You sat at a small table in the back, a corner booth tucked between a jukebox that wheezed out old country songs and a cardboard cut out of a NASCAR racer whose name had long faded away. His knee brushed yours under the table, denim against bare skin. There was something about sitting with Joel in public — in a no name bar, in a booth so thoroughly lacquered with beer and time that the wood shone like amber — that made you feel like you were having some sort of out of body experience. His eyes held yours as he leaned in, his voice a low rumble over the twang of the jukebox.

"What's your poison, darlin’?" he asked, a slight smile playing on his lips.

You racked your brain, figuring they wouldn’t have a good crisp white wine here, and opted for a gin and tonic. You watched him move through the haze of neon Lone Star signs and vinyl booths like he was parting some low-tide sea: his stride was loose and shambling, but with an ease you recognized as confidence.

At the bar, he leaned in and caught the bartender’s attention with a polite wave. You saw him reach back for his wallet with those thick, squared-off fingers, hands fumbling for a bill among crumpled receipts and business cards. You watched him speak to the man next to him while he waited, an older gentleman with a hearing aid whose hand trembled on every sip from his glass. The conversation seemed easy, unhurried; Joel’s smile surfaced as he gestured towards the TV behind the bar where the Texans were continuing their losing streak.

You let your mind linger, just for a second, thinking about how in this situation your husband would be tapping his foot impatiently, American Express card in one hand and phone in the other, undoubtedly ready to complain about the subpar service when he returned to you. You tried to imagine your husband even taking you here in the first place but all you could picture was his reflexive withdrawal from anyone who didn’t know how to pronounce “prix fixe.”

Joel returned with your drink and a longneck for himself, the condensation already sliding down the sides of the bottle. He slid into the booth beside you, thigh brushing yours. He set the drinks down, fingers grazing yours deliberately, then leaned back and slung one arm across the back of the booth.

He shifted the conversation back to you, asking about your day. You hesitated, then admitted to the tennis match, the humiliation still fresh. Joel listened, his thumb tracing small circles on your shoulder as you spoke.

"Sounds like you had a rough one," he said, taking a sip of his beer. "If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t’a been able to hit the ball once.”

You laughed, a genuine sound that bubbled up from your chest, releasing a tension you hadn't realized you were holding. "I don't believe that for a second," you said, taking a sip of your gin and tonic. The cool liquid was refreshing, grounding you in the moment. "You’re good with your hands."

“That dirty mind of yours, darlin’. What’re we gonna do about it?” The twinkle in Joel's eyes was unmistakable, a mischievous glint dancing there as his words wrapped around you. His hand moved from your shoulder to your neck, his fingers gently massaging the tense muscles there. He raised an eyebrow at you. You could feel your pulse thrumming at the base of your throat, each beat echoing around his fingers still resting there. The jukebox warbled another country song. Your tongue caught on the cusp of a daring suggestion that hovered just out of reach.

Before you could release that breath and let fly whatever wicked idea had taken root in your mind, the clattering approach of the waitress interrupted you. She appeared at your table with practiced efficiency, setting down your meals with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Here ya go, lovebirds,” she chirped amiably and Joel's hand slipped away from your neck, leaving your skin tingling. He leaned back slightly, allowing the waitress space to set down the plates: a steaming burger and fries for Joel and two enormous slices of pizza for you.

Joel watched you take a bite, a smile playing on his lips. "Good?" he asked, though he already knew the answer. Grease dribbled down your chin and a smile adorned your face. You nodded, your mouth too full of plasticky cheese to speak.

Joel told you more about his daughter, Sarah, away at college on a scholarship. Full ride at Chapel Hill, he said, she sure as hell didn’t get her brains from me, and you rolled your eyes at the notion. You could tell her being away was hard on him and that he tried his hardest to not burden her with the knowledge of that. He never said much about her mother, and you didn’t pry. You noticed how his gaze fell when you asked once. All he was willing to tell you was that she didn’t have any sort of relationship with Sarah.

Eventually, the diner began to empty, the jukebox started to play old drinking and cheating songs. Only the two of you and a small squad of men moping at the bar remained.

“Whattaya think about getting outta here?” Joel asked, his hand finding yours under the table. You nodded, a thrill running through you through you at the prospect of being alone with Joel again. The diner's noise faded into the background as you both stood up, Joel tossing a few bills onto the table.

You had to stop yourself from jumping his bones the second you clambered into the truck. Despite the heat outside, you shivered and your teeth chattered in a nervous way, maybe from anticipation. Your skin prickled with electricity and Joel took notice.

“You cold, darlin’?” Joel rubbed his hand on your arm to warm you up, to calm you. You swallowed hard, your eyes meeting his and shaking your head. His hand lingered on your arm, his calloused thumb sweeping back and forth, creating a soothing friction.

Your breath caught. He leaned in, close enough that you could feel the brush of his lips without contact, and then—

“I told ya,” he murmured, voice low and rough, “You’re gonna be the death of me,” he breathed before finally kissing you.

It was not gentle; there was nothing restrained about it. It was fervent and fierce. Both of you had been holding back for hours, restrained by time and circumstance, until this very moment when there was no more room for pretense or propriety. His mouth descended upon yours with intent.

You responded with equal fervor, fingers sliding into the hair at the back of his neck, messing up the carefully combed strands you’d watched him smooth in the mirror earlier. The kiss grew deeper still, becoming something untamed and all-consuming. Your torso twisted almost instinctively toward him, driven by a primal need to obliterate any distance between you. Your hips rocked forward slightly, seeking closeness thwarted only by the stubborn resistance of the center console which stood stalwart between you. It felt like an infuriating chaperone, all vigilance and no mercy. Joel’s mouth was at your throat, open and wet, and then lower, nipping at the neckline of your dress like he could taste you through fabric.

“Back seat,” he growled, voice low and fraying.

You nearly made it over the console — half crawling, half guided by his hands gripping your waist — before he was behind you, one knee on the seat, crowding your body with his.

“Mm, hold on a minute, darlin’.” Halfway between the two rows, Joel held your waist sturdy against the leather console. Joel rubbed his palms over your ass; you could feel the heat and heft of him through his jeans.

“You don’t know what you do to me,” he said, voice rough as gravel, as he pressed you gently down onto the console. “All night, sittin’ there lookin’ like that, talkin’a me like that…”

You let out a breathless laugh. "I wasn’t doing anything," you replied slyly.

His eyes darkened with deepening affection as they locked onto yours.

"You exist," he whispered with quiet conviction. He paused just long enough for them to solidify around you like armor before lowering his mouth back to you.

“You exist,” he repeated, “sittin’ there next to me. That’s enough to drive me crazy.” His mouth adhered to your neck, wet and hot and open.

“You already wet for me, hm?” he murmured, sliding down to your ass. He cocked his head sideways, leaving a light bite on your upper thigh that made you squeal and wriggle in his arms. Your underwear was almost completely soaked through, a darkening patch quickly expanding. You didn’t answer him; it seemed redundant. He slid your thong to one side and then off, revealing that you were, in fact, wet for him. Surprise, surprise.

His hand came down firmly on your exposed ass, dress rolled up enough so that Joel had you at eye level. With both hands, he spread you apart so that you felt a cold prick of air between your legs. Joel didn’t waste any more time before his mouth met you from behind, hot and wet and greedy. He groaned into you like he was starved. Like he’d been thinking about this all night and finally, finally, got a taste. Joel spread you open with both hands, thumbs digging into the backs of your thighs as he licked a long stripe through your folds, then zeroed in on your clit with bewildering precision. His tongue circled, sucked, flicked, his stubble scraping the backs of your thighs in the most delicious way. His nose teased your entrance.

“Joel—fuck—” You braced one hand against the dash, the other clutching the edge of the seat as your hips rocked back into his mouth on instinct. “Don’t stop—don’t fucking stop—”

He didn’t. If anything, the sound of you begging made him hungrier. He moaned low in his throat, the vibration shooting straight through your core as he buried his face in you, tongue working you open, deeper, messier.

Your legs started to shake.

“That’s it,” he murmured against your cunt. “that’s it, baby,”

And you fell apart on his tongue, moaning his name loud and wild into the empty cab of the truck as your climax crashed over you. Any passerby would have immediately noticed it, and you didn’t care. You collapsed flat onto the center console, hips twitching, dress bunched around your waist, panties tangled around one ankle. Joel sat back up, breathing hard, his mouth and beard slick with you.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he said, dragging a hand over his face. “Can never get enough of you.”

You tried to will yourself to move — either forward or backward, it didn’t matter — but you couldn’t seem to peel yourself from the sweat slicked center console now, and so you waited for Joel to instruct you. The best you could manage was a weak, undignified flail: fingers scrabbling at vinyl, head lolling toward Joel. He was sitting there in the driver’s seat, leaned against the fogged-up window. His chest heaved heavily and his face glistened in some far-off parking lot light.

When you finally met his gaze through heavy lashes, you found yourself pinned there, unable to look away. He gave you a long, slow grin that said he was proud of having been the one to undo you so completely.

“You alive over there, sweet girl?” he asked, voice raw and a little bit hoarse. You tried to answer, but the words died somewhere in the back of your throat, emerging instead as a contented whimper.

You could only giggle, cheeks pinched and hot. With one hand, Joel tucked the hair nearly covering your eyes behind your ear. The sight of him made you realize that you needed more of him, and you needed it now. You slid the rest of the way into the back seat and beckoned Joel to follow you.

He didn’t need more than the crook of your finger and the look in your eyes before he followed you into the back seat.

You moved instinctively, turning to face the window as you braced your hands on the leather seat, presenting yourself to him without a word. The fog on the glass shimmered under the streetlights, and Joel exhaled like he’d just been punched in the gut.

You felt the rough callus of his palm smooth over your backside, gripping and kneading. Your dress was still bunched at your waist, and he shoved it higher, exposing more of you to the cool air and the greedy heat of his gaze.

Your forehead rested against the cool window, breath fogging up the glass even more as your heartbeat pounded loud in your ears. One of Joel’s hands slid between your thighs, finding you still soaked and pliant. He groaned.

With one hand he guided himself to your entrance, the other firm on your hip. He slipped in so easily through your slick and immediately bottomed out. You gasped, eyes fluttering shut as he repeated the motion. The pressure, the fullness, the grip of his hand—every inch of it wound tight inside you.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he bottomed out a third time, voice low and ragged. “You take me so damn well.”

Joel rocked into you with deep, punishing thrusts, his pace steady and brutal in its precision. His grip on your hips tightened, pulling you back to meet him each time he drove in. The sound of your bodies filled the truck — skin against skin, low grunts, your high, broken moans that you couldn’t even begin to muffle.

The sensation of being pressed against the glass, your cheek smudging the fog, made everything feel even filthier. More raw. More real. You could see the smear of your reflection — glassy-eyed and open-mouthed — every thrust jolting your body forward, your hands slipping.

Joel pressed against you, one hand braced on the window beside your face, the other wrapped around your middle, keeping you locked to him. He couldn’t be any closer and still, he wasn’t close enough. His breath ghosted over the back of your neck, and his teeth grazed the edge of your ear.

“You like bein’ out on display like this?” he asked, the words a snarl in your ear, velvet over gravel. “Like gettin’ fucked where anyone could see, baby? You want them to know you’re mine?”

You whimpered, and Joel grunted in response, fucking into you harder.

“Yeah, yeah,” you could hear a wide smile spread across his face, “you love this—”

“Joel—”

“—‘f I didn’t know any better, I’d think you wanna get caught, huh?”

And that sent you over the edge — your body clenching around him, shivering with release, a gush escaping down the inside of your leg. He kept moving through it, chasing his own pleasure now, sloppy and desperate and close.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m gonna—” he groaned, hips stuttering. He buried himself deep, cursing as he came, filling you with a guttural moan that vibrated against your spine.

For a moment, there was only the sound of your breathing, the pinging of the cooling engine, and some Top 40 song briefly blaring from a car driving by. You remained on your knees, face to the window. The windows had begun to clear, condensation fading to a hazy gloss of moonlight and smeared fingerprints.

Joel pulled you back by your waist. Your dress was tugged back down, your underwear still tangled around one ankle, but you didn’t bother fixing it. You just sat there, back against his chest, both spent and flushed. He shifted behind you, his jeans half-zipped, shirt hanging open. The hair at his temples was damp with sweat.

His thumb dragged slow circles across your palm. You felt the rise and fall of his chest, breathing now slowing. He started with your pinky. Toyed with it lightly. Then your ring finger.

You felt it immediately — the pause. The way his thumb hesitated over the tan line that circled the base of your finger like a ghost. You hadn’t worn your wedding ring tonight. You’d slipped it off before you got in the shower, let it clatter into the porcelain dish by the sink.

This was the part where you were supposed to feel guilty. You knew that.

This was the part where your stomach should turn, where the shame should bloom like a bruise beneath your ribs. Where you should picture your husband’s face, should hear Mary Frances’s voice talking about baby names and PTA meetings and think: I am ruining my life.

But none of that came. Instead, a vision of your husband doing the same thing as you filled your mind. You felt nothing at the imaginary sight. No guilt. No resentment, or jealousy, or rage, or anger. Just … nothing. And still, you compulsively thought about him. How he wasn’t there.

Instead, there was Joel. Quiet, steady, tracing his thumb along that invisible band as if to erase it.

“You look like you’re somewhere far away sometimes,” he said finally.

You blinked. “Just thinking.”

“Hm, what about?”

You hesitated, weighing whether to tell him the truth. Tell him about your horrible compulsion to overthink and compare. The compulsion to repeat to yourself that no, you did not feel guilty.

“I just…”

Joel’s arm wrapped around your chest to pull you closer and it was so quiet that you could hear the ticking of his watch. You tilted your head up, and Joel was already looking at you through his lashes, not blinking, as if you’d disappear if he looked away. You tried to meet his gaze but it was like staring into the sun, unfiltered and bright, so you let your focus drift to the constellation of freckles just above the angle of his jaw.

There was no judgment there. Only the steady, expectant wait of someone willing to believe anything you told him, even if it was a lie. You let yourself float on that for a moment, savoring the absurdity of simultaneously wanting him to see right through you and being terrified that he actually might.

“I just — I think the guest bathroom needs to be renovated next. I’m sick of the wallpaper.”

Joel blinked, and for a moment, you could see the confusion flicker across his face. Then his mouth broke into a slow, lopsided smile, and he let out a small, choked laugh that rumbled through your body where it rested against his.

“Guest bathroom, huh?” he said, amused. “That’ll cost you.”

You rolled over onto your knees, not caring that you still had come running down your thighs and your hair was a tangled mess. Your body relaxed when you realized he was going to play along and not press your further.

“I’m willing to pay top dollar,” you murmured against his mouth. “Long as you do it right.”

He kissed you clumsily, mouth open, teeth knocking together through your smiles. Joel tasted like salt and sweat and mint and it made you dizzy.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he pulled back, his voice low, “for a client like you? I’ll throw in a discount.”

[boybandbaby]

Want Me Back Part II

ex-husband/dad!Eddie Munson x ex-wife/mom!reader

word count: 3960

Part 1: this post

warnings/tags: kids plotting to get parents back together, suggestive comments (mentions of boners, ejaculation, masturbation, sex), mentions of virginity/being a virgin and teens making out, lots of arm squeezing (probably too much touching for a divorced couple), divorce talk, single parenting, panic attacks, kids, kids tantrums

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You wanted to say you were dreading today but how could you? You were spending the day with your eldest and you’d be seeing the man you were still in love with.

You had to bring out the big guns today though. Wear his favorite scent or those pair of bottoms that always made him grip your thighs in impatience to get home and take them off you. It was silly, you know but this is the first time since the divorce that you’d be spending more than the 10 minutes together.

“Mom, are you ready?” Stevie sighs, loudly.

“Yeah, you got my phone right?” You shove your keys and several other items into your bag.

“Yes, mom. Can we please go? Dad is already waiting outside.”

Oh yeah, and Eddie was picking you all up. You won’t have an escape plan if this goes horribly. Not only that, Lennox and Jett were being dropped off at Steve’s so you wouldn’t have two extra buffers in case things got awkward.

After a quick drop off, Eddie continues driving, yapping away with Stevie in the back seat. You stare at his hands on the steering wheel. He was just as nervous as you, that much you can tell by his grip on the steering wheel and his bouncing left knee. He’d also shaved since you last saw him and his hair was shinier.

“Okay, so we just have to buy a few more decorations and my outfit for the party.” Stevie recalls, going through her list of needed items. “Can we eat after?”

“Yeah, you pick though.” Eddie smiles at her through the mirror. He can already tell what she’s doing, extending their time together. He’s thankful, knows the kids want you back together just as much as he does. He’s just not sure it’s something you want ever again. He can only hope.

“Well, why don’t we go to Sal’s?” She shrugs, eyes on her phone. You turn back in your seat.

“You hate Sal’s.” You squint your eyes. “Their sauce is too saucy, remember?”

“Yeah, but dad loves it and he’s paying.” She smiles. She also knows this is one of the first places that you and Eddie went to when you started dating. It is also where all three kids had a birthday party or two over the years.

“I don’t want to hear you complaining then.” You turn back in your seat, looking at Eddie.

“Remember when we got that white sauce pizza and it turned out to be a garlic sauce not Alfredo? You were so pissed.” Eddie laughs.

“I mean, who the hell advertises white sauce and it not be Alfredo?” You groan. “My breath smelled like garlic all night. Kept you away like a vampire.” You lean your head back, letting it loll to the left to watch him.

“That wasn’t why I kept my distance that night.” He mumbles, “you gave me a,” he looks in the mirror, sees Stevie with her headphones in, “gave me a boner before the pizza arrived. I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Is that why you kept going to the bathroom? Had to whack one out while I ate that horrible pizza?”

“I wasn’t whacking anything out! I was freaking out on the phone with Steve.” He breathes out in exasperation. “Was afraid I was going to give you a different kind of white sauce if I sat in front of you any longer.”

“Ew! Eddie!” You pinch the little sliver of skin under his armpit, peeking through his muscle tee, just under his outstretched arm.

“What? I couldn’t help it. I was just a helpless virgin boy on a date with the prettiest girl in Hawkins.”

“Oh stop.” You hold onto the door with one hand and your hot neck with the other.

“Can you guys keep the flirting to a minimum until after I find my outfit?” Stevie teases, headphones on her lap and amused look on her face. Eddie’s face turns beet red as he pulls into the mall parking lot.

The day goes by with some light teasing and a lot of spending. As you enter Sal’s, you see Sal Jr., the new owner when his dad Sal Sr. passed a few years ago. He’s about a decade older than you but his brain is still sharp and his mouth still quick. That and he doesn’t know about the divorce.

“Well well well, it’s the Munson’s.” He opens his arms, welcoming you three to a table. “Glad to see the little lovebirds still enjoying our establishment. Did you know I caught your parents once making out behind our dumpsters?”

“Thank you for that, Sal.” Eddie grimaces, taking the menu from his hands with a little force. “We’ll let you know when we’re ready.”

Sal lifts his hands and steps back.

Eddie buries his head in his menu, quiet as ever. Stevie looks to you, eyes wide. You nod your head to the small arcade set up in the restaurant and hand her some bills. Eddie’s head doesn’t lift even when Stevie’s chair scrapes the floor.

“Hey.” You nudge his shin with the tip of your shoe. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing just hungry.” He speaks into the plastic of the menu.

“Maybe we should go somewhere else.” You reach a hand to bring down the menu. “We can go.”

“No, no. I’m fine.” He clears his throat. “I’m fine.”

“Eddie…”

“I’m okay, really.” He nods, eyes avoiding you at all costs.

You let go of the menu and instead place your hand on his forearm. “Let’s split a large? Half veggie, half all meat?” He doesn’t hide the tear that slips down his cheek and you don’t hide the pang of concern on your face. “I’ll pay for breadsticks?” You sing.

“Make it mozzarella sticks and we have a deal.”

“Good.” You smile, giving his forearm another squeeze before calling Sal over.

~

“Okay, so you’re going to beg mom and dad to sit together at your show.” Stevie whispers as she sits on Lennox’s bed.

“But won’t that make them sad? I don’t want them to be sad at my show.” He hugs his stuffed koala, one he’s had since he was a baby.

“No, they’ll be so excited and happy to see you on stage, they won’t have room to be sad.”

“Are you sure, Stevie?” Lenny’s voice shakes with uncertainty. Of course he wants his parents back together but he also doesn’t want to cause any problems. He’s only 12 but he’s already to most considerate kid you know. He thinks about others, always. Puts others’ needs and wants before his own. He also always goes along with what his older sister says, absolutely idolizes her.

“Of course I’m sure. The more time they spend together, the more likely they are to get back together.” She assures, lying back in his bed and opening his science textbook.

“Do you think they’ll really get back together?” He grabs the book from her, smoothing out the pages.

Stevie thinks for a moment, wondering if she should really be getting not only her hopes up but Lenny’s. “You should’ve seen them the other day, Lenny. They were laughing and smiling together. It was actually pretty cute.”

“Please don’t call our parents cute. That’s gross”.

It really didn’t take much begging from Lennox to get you two to sit together. You’d bought 4 tickets and waited outside for your girls and Eddie to appear.

“Sorry. We’re late I know. Where’s Lenny?” Eddie checks his jacket pocket for his keys.

“He had to go backstage already. Come on, they’re starting soon.” You kiss Stevie’s cheek, complimenting her dress.

The auditorium roars with family members anticipating the appearance of their kids, chatter about which role their kid is playing and how good they are and how hard they practiced. You don’t doubt them as Lenny had been stressing all week leading up to the play, even making Eddie learn the moves with him.

You lead the way and shuffle past a family into your seats. Stevie ushers Eddie into the aisle before her. Eddie carries Jett and sets her between both of you in the ratty chair.

“I wanna sit with Stevie.” She tells Eddie. Eddie stands and gently pushes Stevie to switch seats with him.

“Sorry dad, this is a better view to record Lenny. Sit next to mom.” She puts up no room for a fight, helping Jett into the chair next to her. Eddie sighs, knowing his eldest and her play book too well at this point.

“What? Do I smell? No one wants to sit next to me?” You nudge Eddie.

“You smell amazing.” He reassures. “Our children are just being difficult.”

“Just like their dad.” You raise your brows. Before Eddie can quip back, the lights dim and a voice overheard asks the crowd to silence their phones and reminds of no flash photography.

As soon as Lennox steps on stage, too big costume hanging off of his body, you and Eddie sit up straight. You don’t even realize it but you grab his hand, pulling you both a bit closer together. You’re in the second row from the stage, behind possibly the tallest, most big headed people ever (you’re definitely exaggerating), so you’re both centimeters apart as you peers through the gap between two people in front of you. As Lennox and his cast mates get into position, his eyes scan the crowd for his family.

When he spots you two, you wave and Eddie gives him a thumbs up. Lennox grins and taps his feet on the stage in time with the music. You know how hard Lennox had been practicing his dance moves, sometimes a little clumsy like his dad. As each child comes forward for their little tap solo, you hold onto Eddie’s forearm and hold your breath.

Eddie looks down at your hands on his arm. He regrets wearing his signature leather jacket, a barrier between your fingers and his skin. “Eddie.” You whisper, squeezing his arm twice, bringing his attention back to the stage.

Lennox moves with a stumble, feet tapping the floor as he wobbles to keep his balance. His eyes are on his feet, even though he knows he’s supposed to be looking into the crowd.

When he’s done, Eddie cheers, receiving dirty looks and shushes as the next kid goes on. You pull him down further into the seat, laughing as you do so, more to save Lenny from embarrassment than anything else.

The cast all dances and sings before exiting the stage. Lenny has a few more lines and numbers throughout the musical, each time making both of you proud.

You spend the entire night glued to each other as you watch your boy display his talent. The night ends with all five of you going to dinner then sharing a large banana split while you fawn over Lenny.

The kids beg for Eddie to stay the night and it’s not much for either of you to agree. Eddie still has things at the house, never fully moved out in hopes he’ll be able to come back one day.

You’d never made him take his things or gotten rid of them, savoring what’s left of his scent in his absence.

Eddie thanks you as you hand him a pair of pajama pants, both of you equally unsure of where he should sleep.

“Dad, Jett agreed to sleep with Stevie so you can bunk with me.” Lennox smiles wide, “maybe we can finish the pirate book tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there kid. Warm up the bed for me.” Lenny nods and you know he’ll take Eddie’s request as serious as can be. “Thank you, y/n.” Eddie crosses his legs at the ankles, swaying slightly.

“You’re welcome.”

“Maybe we should talk about-“

“You should go. To bed, I mean. Don’t want to keep our boy waiting.” You clear your throat, “goodnight.”

Eddie purses his lips, nods and turns, leaving the room you once shared together. He wishes he could snuggle up to you instead but knows he lost that privilege a long time ago.

He knocks on Stevie’s door, opening to find both girls wide awake despite the late hour. Stevie is painting Jett’s nails in neon green and smiley faces.

“Goodnight girlies.” He leans down to kiss Stevie’s forehead, then Jett’s. She lunges up and forward, throwing her arms around Eddie’s neck. She’s happy to have him back in the house even if she doesn’t realize it’s only for the night.

Stevie groans and pulls her back, her nail polish smudged and speckled in Eddie’s long hair.

“I love you.” He laughs, the hair and polish the least of his current worries.

“We love you dad.” Stevie speaks for the two girls.

“You two should go to bed soon.” Eddie suggests. “Maybe sleep with mom so she’s not the only one alone tonight.”

“Okay, dad.” Stevie nods. Eddie waves one more time before heading to the bathroom to change.

You listen as he moves about the house like a ghost. You remind yourself that he’s only here for the night as you lay in bed alone. There’s a quiet him of noise: giggles from the girls, a door creaking open and cheers from Lennox as his dad squeaks into Jett’s small twin sized bed. You’re used to feeling alone, especially when the kids stay with Eddie, but tonight you think you’re okay. It feels nice to have Eddie back in the house, even if he’s not with you.

~

Lately, things have been a bit rough for you. When the separation happened, it didn’t feel like much of a change for you emotionally or even physically as Eddie had been distant long before that. Now that you’d spent more time with Eddie, you began missing him like crazy.

Ever since he’d slept over a few nights ago, Jett would be defiant about eating her dinner, bathing and brushing before bed, and going to sleep.

You’d have to call Eddie and vice versa when she was at his, in order for her to calm down which brings you to the present.

“Hey, so Jett is throwing a bit of a tantrum right now because you’re not coming to her open house thingy. I told her you were working late and might not make it and she’s really upset.” You sniffle. You had to put aside your own inner turmoil to deal with Jett’s new behavior. Everything felt like all too much.

“Baby, take a breath.” Eddie lets slip. “Let me talk to her.” Eddie slips the phone between his ear and shoulder as he finishes up another quote for a pair of new brakes. “Hey babe, why are you giving your mama a hard time? We talked about this, right? I won’t be able to go to your school tonight but we’re going to go out to eat after, remember?” His voice is calm, gentle even. Although he’s worried, he doesn’t let it cloud his voice.

“But it’s not the same. I want you here with us. I want you to come over for dinner.”

“I know bub but I have to work.” He winces at her loud sob. He can hear the tears in your own voice as you attempt to shush her. He’s sure you’re rubbing her back. The same way you have a technique to calm every other Munson down, even Wayne. You kiss Eddie, or squeeze his arms, scratch Stevie’s scalp with your fingertips, sing to Lenny, and give Wayne a cold beer. The way Eddie calms you down is with a tight hug. He wishes he could give you know now.

“It’s not fair. I want it to be like Lenny’s show.” She slams the phone onto the table. Eddie pulls the phone from his ear, shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He takes a deep breath, reminding himself that getting angry at his child is not going to de-escalate the situation and he is not his father.

“Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. Eddie!”

“Oh shit, sorry.” He brings the phone back to his ear.

“I’ll figure something out. See if Robin can come with me. I’ll let you know how it goes.” You frantically rush out, hanging up before he can offer any more words. This exact situation is a reminder of one of the reasons for the divorce: Eddie working more than being present. It started with missing dinners then anniversaries until you finally drew the line at your last forgotten birthday.

You stand alone in the classroom, listening as the teacher explains some of the projects the kids have been working on this year. You’re tapping your foot, watching Jett as she hiccups. Her face is blotchy with half dried tears during the car ride over, and her hair is an absolute mess.

Some of the parents look at you sympathetically and your overthinking mind wonders if they know you’re a single parent now. You know it’s probably just because they’ve also experienced an unruly child in public.

You bite your lip so hard you break skin. At the taste of blood, you hiss and clench your fists.

“Hey,” Eddie gently rests his hand on your lower back to get your attention.Something he used to do all the time to stay tethered to you during social events. His hand slides off your back and wraps around your fist. He wiggles his finger into it and unclenches your hand.

“Daddy, you made it!” Jett waves as she sits with some of her classmates at their desks. She’s taken Eddie’s skin color, almost the exact same shade, even when he’s upset. She’s red but the crying has stopped.

“I’m sorry I’m late and I’m sorry I couldn’t change out of my work uniform.” He whispers, wishing he looked as good as he did in the black button up Stevie made him wear to Lenny’s show.

“I can’t believe you made it.” You turn into him. Your lip wobbles as you let go of any boundaries, wrapping your arms around his waist. Eddie immediately wraps his arms around your shoulders. He’s rests his head a top yours, breathing in your scent.

“Let’s take a walk, yeah?” He whispers. “Hey Betty, can you keep an eye on Jett? We’re stepping into the hall for a moment.” Eddie asks Bobbi’s grandma. She is probably the only one in this room that knows about the divorce (Jett let it slip to her best friend, Bobbi during a sleepover.) Betty nods sweetly and gives him a smile.

You both step into the hallway, keeping Jett visible through the window in the door.

You hear your name being called and before you register, there’s several steps of squeaky rubber on the tile floor.

Eddie tenses when he sees the 6 foot, built body, gym bro place a hand on your upper left shoulder.

You tense and jump, “Freddy?” You wipe your eyes, wishing the floor would swallow you whole.

“I didn’t know your kids went to this school.” The man lets his hand slide down to gently hold onto your bicep. He would’ve known had he listened to a word Nancy said when she introduced the two of you.

You immediately turn, discreetly pulling your arm out of his grasp to introduce Eddie. “This is Eddie, the father of my kids.” He’s so glad you didn’t say ex-husband right then and there. It would’ve been a bigger blow than seeing some guy come up to you.

He knows you’re beautiful, come on, he was married to you. But seeing another man show interest with you while he’s trying to win you back, makes his blood boil.

“Oh, hey.” He chucks his chin towards Eddie, barely an acknowledgement. “It’s such a surprise to see you. I hope you’re available for that date soon.” He winks before who you presume is his son, tugs on his pant leg. “I’ll hopefully see you soon. Bye y/n.” He enters a class adjacent to Jett’s.

“You’re seeing someone?” Eddie immediately inquires when the man is out of earshot.

“Nancy introduced me to him last week while we were out for drinks. He’s a coworker of hers.” You clarify.

“So you’re dating already?” He sasses, arms crossing over his chest.

“No, Nancy is trying to set us up. I hardly know him.” You wave your hand to brush him off, planning to escape back into the classroom.

“Are you interested?” Eddie follows, firmly but not harshly, grabbing your shoulder.

“Eddie, can we drop this conversation for now? It’s not the right place.”

“Are you? It’s a simple question. Are you or are you not interested in seeing someone else? Seeing him?” He nearly gags. Practically spits the pronoun out. “The divorce hasn’t even been finalized for a year and you’re already dating?”

“No!” Your voice echoes against the hallow floors and walls of the hallway. “I’m not seeing him and I’m not interested! There, you happy?” Eddie takes a step back. “Don’t act like you’re interested in me now, Eddie.” You place a hand on the door handle.

“Hey, you can’t just bark out some petty comment and walk away. We need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to do this.” The tears are already coming back. “Not right now and not here.”

“Fine, walk away like you did the first time.” He throws his hands up, scoffing.

“It’s okay for you to make a petty comment but not me? That’s not fair. I asked you for months to do better. I asked you-“

“I know, I know. You’re right.” He chokes out. “I’m sorry. I’m just hurt. Jealous. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life and date whoever you want. I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t think you would move on so quickly, ya know?” He looks to the ceiling, hands on his hips, spewing his emotions. “I thought I had more time.”

You take a step back, opening your mouth to respond. You lose the words, closing it quickly. Eddie is telling you how he feels, telling you the honest truth, communicating.

The communication between you had gone extinct months before the separation. In turn was a lot of fighting, whispered shouting before turning away from each other in bed and leaving in the morning without a goodbye.

“What do you mean you thought you had more time? Time for us?” You tug at his navy blue uniform. A long sleeve one piece, the top buttons of his coveralls open, exposing the bony collarbones painted with faded tattoos.

“Yes, I thought I was making progress. M-making my way back into your life.” He stutters, chest heaving. He feels his world closing in on him and you sense the oncoming panic attack.

“Eddie, we have all the time in the world.” You urge him to look at you, hand on his chin. He fights you though, trying to keep his head turned so you don’t see him. See his weaknesses and fears. “Listen to me, I don’t want anyone else. I still want you.” You do the only thing on your mind. The only thing you can think of to calm him, and truly the only thing you’ve been wanting to do since he’s crept back into your heart. The thing that has worked on him for so many years. You kiss him. Pulling him in by his open top, lips sloppily misplaced and wet with tears. You’re not sure if they’re yours or his or both.

It doesn’t seem to matter when the door clicks open faster than you can break apart. You’re too late. “Yay! Our plan worked!”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

[freyafrida]

rilla of ingleside, chapter twenty-three

This whole paragraph gets me, it's so beautifully written and painfully true :( The bit about Susan laying her head on the table and crying too...just, ow. Too real. The way Anne suffers in the background of this book, too, is so heartbreaking -- to read from the start of the series and see her end up here :(

As discussed, the "merciful knowledge" is almost certainly a lie -- nearly the exact same phrasing, "killed instantly by a bullet" is used as a lie in All Quiet on the Western Front. I wonder if that was intentional -- if Dog Monday howling for hours was genuinely meant to indicate that Walter didn't die instantly, or if he was just mourning deeply. Given how much this book believes in the purpose of the war, and in the men who fought it, I'm not sure LMM would've or could've believed that they were lying about how horribly some men died.

I'll think of you both—of your laughter, Rilla-my-Rilla, and the steadfastness in Una's blue eyes—somehow I see those eyes very plainly tonight, too.

u ever think about how Gilbert recites "Bingen on the Rhine" to Anne in the first book, a poem that's about a soldier who's dying on a battlefield, and sees his sister and a girl who is distinctly not his sister before his death? And Walter, the night before he dies in battle, is also seeing his sister and a girl who is distinctly not his sister? Yeah.

Operating on the Walter/Una agenda here -- does this mean Walter returned her feelings right before he died? I go back and forth on that. There an argument to be made that, knowing he was going to die tomorrow, he sought to protect Una from mourning him as a sweetheart one more time. My shipper heart loves that, but sometimes I also think that Walter does die without ever really knowing that he loves her back -- but him seeing her eyes is another indication of what could have been, that he would have returned her feelings, had he lived, and their not-relationship is all about the what-ifs, the unfulfilled potential, left behind by so many of these deaths.

As for Walter's death...I get that Walter has to die, for Rilla's growth as the protagonist -- the war has finally come to her in a very real, personal way; for the aspect of the book that basically serves as a document of the war years, Rilla is representative of everyone at home that lost one of their boys.

Still...there are times, maybe, when Walter's death seems so...easy to me. Premonitions and second sight are recurring in LMM's work, but they don't always seem to have a place in something as harshly cynical as WWI. The romanticism of the letter, Walter seeing his death and assuring Rilla that he accepts it and in fact welcomes it, feels incongruous with how actually random and pointless WWI deaths often were, or how many veterans had to keep living with their trauma. I don't know. Sometimes I accept the letter for what it is -- it's beautiful and very much in line with the book's belief that, ultimately, the sacrifice is for a higher purpose; it's really just another part of the book that makes it really obvious that it was written very quickly after the war -- but with hindsight, it's just so...awkward...that Walter writes this dramatic letter anticipating his death and assuring Rilla that he died for a noble Idea and they'll win because they keep faith with the living and the dead (and not because the Allies starved Germany out and ground the Central Powers down). And you're like. That is not how it worked out :/ Sometimes just feels like Walter was deluding himself to the last :( and that's how i justify my walter lives fic

Una 😢 It always makes me so, so sad that Una's like...one of those background characters who kinda exist to get sad events dumped on them and they're not important enough to the overall plot for the book to suggest that they manage to find some happiness for themselves. Una especially already has so much quiet sadness in Rainbow Valley, then spends the rest of her life after Rilla mourning Walter, per TBAQ. It's too depressing 😩 I like to think she does find some love and happiness, but the books don't bear that out, tragically.

(Also I think this is the only time Una speaks in the book?)

No one but herself—and perhaps Rilla—knew it—would ever know it.

Poysonally, I have always really liked that no one else ever finds out about Una's feelings for Walter; not a fan of the TBAQ retcon that Susan knows about it -- maybe it's just because I love Una and it makes me sad to think of everyone pitying her for pining after a dead guy for like forty years 😭 But again, Una is so quiet and overlooked, I like that Rilla noticing speaks to Rilla's empathy specifically. I also think it's realistic that no one really pays enough attention to Una to ever figure it out, or at least figure out that she never marries because of Walter specifically.

glossary:

Readying Rilla bits (a lot this time! Lots of little details caught in the rewriting of Walter's letter):

Cut -- interestingly not crossed out -- lines from Rilla, where she tells Miss Oliver, "How can I ever get used to thinking Walter isn't anywhere in the world? 'Somewhere in France' was dreadful but 'nowhere in the world' is unthinkable." Next paragraph also mentions "Her beautiful Walter in his p -- he would never come to her again -- never sit with her in Rainbow Valley. The wide womanful grey eyes she had loved were shut forever." ("womanful" is a kinda interesting word choice. Between that and the some of the original dramatics of the Walter Slur Mystery, wonder if the original concept leaned more heavily on Walter's masculinity-or-lack-thereof as a source of conflict)

Rilla is originally visited by "Mrs. Elder" (cut off there) and "Mrs. Dave Mead", instead of Miss Sarah Clow and Mrs. Reese.

Another cut, but not crossed out line, where Mrs. Reese says "I hope pore Walter didn't have to suffer much before he died. When Clark Manley was killed he laid for hours in the cold snow, all fevered up and burning for a drink, and died just as the yfound him. I hope pore Walter didn't have to suffer like that -- and it so bu hot there this time of year."

Whole cut monologue from Susan about Walter, which I took pictures of since it was too long to type (the way she ends it with that helpless "I kind of fell played out" is so relatable :/):

Walter originally calls Rilla "dear little faithful sister and chum".

Instead of saying he wrote "mother and Di", Walter originally says he wrote "most of his letters" yesterday.

Walter originally adds, "But Nan and Di will", when telling Rilla she wouldn't remember the Piper.

Cut mentions from Walter mentioning that, when he saw the Piper in the trenches, "it was all that I could do to prevent myself from rushing after him" and "I wanted to follow him -- I felt that I had must follow him." (presuming 'had' was crossed out, but then the whole line was crossed out.) Again, interesting suggestions here that Walter wants to die.

Cut line from Walter saying "And there's a work for you [Rilla] to do -- for all our girls back in the home-land to do."

When Walter writes "this will be part of your work, Rilla", he originally calls her "Rilla-my-Rilla."

Walter originally refers to the dead as "we who sleep" (seems like a reference to "In Flanders Fields", i.e. "We shall not sleep") and "shall have gone west", before the final draft settles on "don't come back."

Walter originally says he sees "her" instead of "those eyes", re: Una 😭

In the scene where Rilla gives Una the letter, repeated references to Una's "white" lips (Una "answered through her white lips" instead of "said dully", then she presses the letter against her "white" lips, which is replaced by "lonely" in the final book.)

On a lighter note, Courcelette is not spelled correctly once in this draft (she keeps writing "Courcellette". Oh those French names, as Susan would say).

[suku-enthusiasts]

Chapter Nineteen || Squished Wildflowers - S. Ryomen

❛ ❜ Ryomen Sukuna x f!reader (on going)

❝ in the lands of gods and monsters, she was an angel, living with the King of Curses- 

Sukuna Ryomen Itadori was a man of many things, but before he became the cursed monster, he was a kind husband, who was sarcastic, always loving in his words, and loves his wife dearly. After a day of work, he returns home early, to find his wife brutally murdered in the home he built for the two of them. Sukun

a was unaware of the power he held, but when it unleashed, he became something his wife never thought she could imagine. 10 years pass, as Sukuna visits his wife's grave, the same spot he buried her all those years ago, something was different, something touching his face as he awoke, could this be real?❞

cw ; mdni • 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. hurt/trauma. smut . anxiety. death. graphic scenes

Word count ; 2.8k

main masterlist | series masterlist

The golden afternoon sunlight filtered through the tall windows of the cottage, casting warm light across the soft rugs and wooden floors. You were arranging tea and fresh fruit on the table when the front door creaked open. “Toji, wipe your boots!” came his wife’s cheerful scold, already walking in ahead of him, her hair braided loosely over her shoulder and arms full of wrapped cloth bundles. “This is a clean house, not the damn barracks.”

Toji grunted but obediently stepped back to stomp the dust off his boots. “Mamaaaa!” Aiyumi’s sweet voice rang out, and you turned just in time to see her sprinting from the hallway, curls bouncing, her little arms reaching up. You scooped her up with a soft laugh, pressing a kiss to her warm cheek. “Guess who’s here?”

Aiyumi turned in your arms and gasped the moment she saw Megumi peeking out from behind Toji’s leg.

“Gumi!”

Megumi immediately stepped out, holding a handmade bouquet of slightly squished wildflowers. “For you,” he said proudly, handing them to Aiyumi like a proper little suitor. She looked at them with wide eyes. “These are so pwetty! Look, Mama! He made it!”

“They’re for her,” Megumi insisted with a frown. “Not for you.” Sukuna, who had just emerged from the hallway in a loose black kimono, stopped in his tracks. His eyes narrowed immediately as he caught sight of Megumi — and worse, Megumi holding his daughter’s hand. “Door stays open,” he snapped, already bristling.

The kids blinked at him, then turned and marched off into Aiyumi’s room with a chorus of “Okayyy!” Sukuna didn’t move from the doorway. “I said open,” he growled. “It is open, Papa,” Aiyumi’s tiny voice called. He turned and muttered something under his breath. “Too quiet. They’re plotting.” You rubbed your stomach gently with one hand and carried the tray of tea to the sitting area. “You know, you used to plot too. If I remember correctly, you broke into a school once to leave me a bouquet of violets.”

“Because I was in love with you,” he growled dramatically. You raised an eyebrow. “Megumi brought Aiyumi flowers.”

“That’s different,” Sukuna snapped. Toji finally stepped inside, shaking his head. “I warned you, didn’t I? Once they’re mobile, it’s all over.”

“You didn’t warn me about him courting my daughter,” Sukuna hissed. Toji’s wife giggled, sitting beside you with a fond sigh. “Megumi said last week he wants to build Aiyumi a palace when he’s king.”

“Oh gods.” Sukuna’s arms crossed — all four of them. “Apparently, she said she’ll plant flowers there and name all the roses after him,” you added. Toji laughed, sitting across from Sukuna and stretching. “You better start planning their wedding, old man.” Sukuna glared, jaw tightening. “Megumi is four. Aiyumi is three. I’m going to put a wall around this entire property.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Toji yawned. You exchanged a look with Toji’s wife and both stifled a laugh. Toji’s wife leaned toward you, whispering as she poured your tea, “I told Toji if he ever acted like Sukuna about Megumi dating, I’d throw him into the koi pond.” You laughed and rubbed your slightly showing bump. “If this next one’s a girl, Sukuna’s going to lose his mind.”

“Oh, he’s already on his way,” she giggled. Just then, a sharp little voice called from the hallway. “Papa! Megumi says he’s gonna sleep in my bed!” Everyone froze. Sukuna stood up so quickly his chair scraped. Toji coughed, choking on his drink. “Oh boy.”

“YOU'RE SLEEPING WHERE?”

“W-we just wanna cuddle!” Aiyumi shouted back. “I will destroy cuddling!”  You and Toji’s wife were now clutching each other, unable to stop the laughter as Sukuna stormed down the hallway like the world’s most dramatic emperor-father. “She’s three!” you wheezed. “She doesn’t even know what cuddling is, she just copies us!”

“I’m not taking any chances,” Sukuna barked. A moment later, the sound of the door creaking wider was followed by silence. Then: “Megumi, sit on the floor.”

“Why!?”

“Because I said so!”

Toji grinned, rubbing his jaw. “Like father, like son.”

“Oh, shut up,” Sukuna growled from the hall. You gently rocked in your seat, brushing your hand over your belly again and smiling to yourself. As much as Sukuna loved to grumble, you could see it — the warmth in his eyes when he looked at your daughter, the way he hovered around her like a dragon guarding treasure. And despite all the barking and scowling... he would let her love who she wanted. When the time came. Even if that meant fighting Toji over wedding expenses twenty years from now.

The summer evening was warm and soft, the sky painted with a gentle shade of lavender and tangerine as the sun set behind the hills. The scent of grilled meat and jasmine floated through the air. You and Toji’s wife sat on a wooden bench in the backyard, sipping cool sake from delicate cups while your husbands sat nearby at the table, tossing snide remarks at one another between drinks.

Sukuna rolled his shoulders back, his yukata half-loose, exposing his broad chest and tattoos, while Toji was leaning back with his feet up on a low stool, smirking after a jab he had just landed on the Emperor. The laughter between the four of you was constant, natural, as if this little corner of peace had always belonged to you.

In the yard, just beyond the soft lantern lights and flickering shadows, Aiyumi and Megumi chased glowing fireflies. Their high-pitched giggles and gasps as they darted between the tall grass made everyone glance over every so often, smiling.

“They’re so full of energy,” Toji’s wife said with a quiet laugh, resting her hand on your knee. “It’s like watching two little souls meant to find each other.” You chuckled. “It’s terrifying, honestly. Especially with who their fathers are.” The two of you watched as Aiyumi took Megumi’s hand and pulled him toward a tree where the fireflies had gathered in a halo of gold. They ducked behind it with the secrecy only toddlers could muster.

Megumi leaned in, clumsily, and kissed Aiyumi on her cheek. It was soft and sweet, more of a nuzzle than anything, and her laughter filled the summer night like music. “I love you, Yumi,” he whispered with all the sincerity a four-year-old could possess. Aiyumi giggled brightly, her chubby hands pressed to her face. “Don’t tell my papa! He’ll get mad!” she warned in a playful whisper, her green eyes shining like her mother’s.

Megumi nodded seriously, pink dusting his cheeks. “I won’t. But when I’m king, I’m gonna make you queen.”

Behind the tree, both you and Toji’s wife witnessed the whole exchange, your hands covering your mouths, sake nearly spilling in your laps from the shock and sweetness. “We are never telling them,” she whispered.

“Absolutely not,” you giggled, tears of laughter in your eyes.

Meanwhile, Sukuna and Toji were in the middle of a heated debate about sword length versus cursed energy efficiency when Sukuna glanced over toward the tree. “Why are the kids laughing like that?” he asked, his brow furrowing. You were quick. “Probably just catching fireflies. Don’t ruin the moment.” Sukuna eyed you suspiciously but grumbled something about “troublemaker boys” and went back to grumbling with Toji about battle techniques and curses.

Toji’s wife leaned closer to you and whispered with a smirk, “Should we go get those kids?” You shook your head and smiled. “Let them have their moment. They’re in love, remember?” She snorted into her sake cup, and the two of you shared a warm, knowing look — one that only mothers could share.

The Fushiguros had just left, their carriage wheels crunching along the gravel as they disappeared down the winding path. Toji gave a lazy two-fingered salute goodbye, his wife hugged you with her usual warmth, and little Megumi waved happily from the window with a wide grin — completely unaware of the storm brewing behind Sukuna’s narrowed eyes.

Back inside the house, the quiet returned. Aiyumi had fallen asleep almost the moment her head touched her new pillow, still clutching the small wooden sword Megumi had brought her as a gift. Her curls fanned across the sheets, and her pink lips were parted slightly in sleep.

You stood in the doorway of her room, smiling, your hand resting on your pregnant belly. It had been a perfect day. That was… until you turned around and nearly walked into a sulking wall of muscle. Sukuna stood there, arms crossed, brows furrowed, four arms twitching in clear frustration. His eyes flicked toward Aiyumi’s sleeping form, then back to you.

“She kissed him,” he muttered, low and accusing. You blinked. “She’s three, Suku.”

“She kissed him,” he repeated, louder this time, like the offense needed to be stated again for dramatic effect. “On the mouth.” You bit back a laugh. “It was on the cheek—”

“That’s not what she told me earlier,” he snapped, throwing his hands up, pacing like a caged beast. “She said she loveshim. Loves. He’s four! He has no kingdom. He can’t even tie his shoes right.” You followed him into the main room as he grumbled, plopping himself dramatically on the cushions by the fire. His pink hair was slightly messy from running his hand through it too many times.

“She called him Gumi. She doesn’t even say my name like that,” he added bitterly, eyes narrowed into the hearth. You sat down beside him, fighting the smirk threatening your lips. “She also said she loves you more than the stars and the moon, remember?”

“She didn’t say she wants to marry me,” he scoffed, grabbing the sake bottle and pouring himself a cup with the kind of flare only a grumpy emperor could manage. You leaned your head on his shoulder. “She’s three.”

“She’s impressionable,” he muttered into his cup. “She’s also smart. And sweet. And knows that you’re her papa and no one can ever take that place.” Sukuna grunted. You could feel his chest rising and falling with deep, slow breaths — the kind he only did when trying not to unleash cursed energy by accident.

“She said would did not want to tell me,” he muttered after a moment. “She knows it would make me mad.” That actually did make you laugh. You kissed his cheek gently. “Because she knows you’re a dramatic old man.”

“I’m thirty-nine.”

“And very dramatic.” He groaned, leaning his head back, letting you stroke one of his arms while the others rubbed at his face. “She’s not allowed to get married. Ever.”

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. You married me, didn’t you?”

“That was different,” he muttered. “You’re not some snot-nosed four-year-old who plays in dirt and can’t pronounce his ‘R’s.”

“She’ll always be your little girl,” you whispered, nudging your nose against his. “Even if she someday loves someone else, no one will ever replace her papa.” Sukuna stayed quiet for a moment, then pulled you into his lap with a grumble, all four arms wrapping around you, protectively, possessively. “She better say that every day until she’s sixty.” You chuckled, pressing your lips to his shoulder. “If she does, will you stop scowling at Megumi every time he walks into the house?”

“Maybe,” he lied.

The scent of toasted rice and grilled fish filled the cozy cottage kitchen as sunlight filtered through the open windows. A soft breeze stirred the curtains while the morning birds chirped outside. You were humming as you sliced fresh fruit, Aiyumi sat at the table swinging her little legs, and Sukuna was already on his second cup of tea—brooding quietly, as always.

Your mother was seated at the corner of the table, sipping her tea, already dressed for the day. She arched a brow as she watched Sukuna’s unusually quiet demeanor. Aiyumi munched on a slice of pear, cheeks puffed like a chipmunk. “Papa,” she said, her voice sugary and innocent, “can Gumi come over today?”

Sukuna glanced at her from behind his cup, lowering it slowly. You watched the entire exchange while pretending not to laugh. “Yumi,” he started with the voice of a man who had clearly rehearsed this in his head a dozen times, “it’s okay if you like Megumi.” Aiyumi beamed. “I do! He makes me laugh and he gave me a flower and he said when he’s king, I get to be queen.” Sukuna’s eye twitched. But he nodded.

“Fine. Fine.” He sipped his tea again, as though it were whiskey. “But… no kissing. Not on the cheek, not on the hand, and definitely not on the mouth.” Aiyumi tilted her head, confused. “But you kiss Mama all the time.”

“I earned that right,” he muttered under his breath. “And when you’re four, you don’t earn anything except sticky fingers and time-outs.” Your mother let out a snort and nearly spilled her tea. “Oh my God, you are such a big baby.”

Sukuna shot her a glare. “I’m being reasonable.”

“You’re acting like Megumi stole your wife,” she said dryly. “Not your toddler.” You chuckled behind your hand while placing the bowl of fruit on the table. “He’s just being protective.”

“I am always protective,” Sukuna grumbled. Aiyumi giggled and clapped her hands. “It’s okay, Papa. I won’t kiss Gumi! But I still love him.”

Sukuna exhaled sharply through his nose and gave her a small nod. “Good. But if he ever says anything mean to you, or pushes you, or even looks at you wrong… you come to Papa, alright?” She nodded seriously. “Okay. I’ll tell you right away. Even if he steals my toy.”

“Especially if he steals your toy,” Sukuna added, stealing a bite of her rice ball, which earned a gasp of betrayal from her. “Papa!” she squealed, snatching it back with a giggle. “I’m just making sure you stay sharp.” Your mother leaned over and ruffled Sukuna’s hair, earning a half-hearted growl from him. “Look at you. An emperor. Still being outwitted by a three-year-old.” 

“She has your mouth,” Sukuna muttered. “And she has your fire,” you added, smiling as you settled beside him.

Sukuna looked down the table at his little girl—still in her wrinkled pajamas, hair a mess, bright green eyes sparkling as she tried to guard her food from him—and for a moment, he forgot all about the throne, the wars, and the weight of the world. His family was here. Safe. Loud. Full of love. And even if Megumi was in the picture… well. He could live with that. For now.

After breakfast had settled into quiet conversation and the morning sun bathed the room in a golden hue, you were cleaning up the dishes while Sukuna leaned back lazily in his chair, Aiyumi nestled in his lap, her little fingers playing with the ties of his kimono.

Your mother sipped her tea with a sly smile, eyes drifting between the two of you. “You know,” she started casually, “watching this little one remind me of when you were her age, Sukuna.” He raised a brow, uninterested but still listening. “Hmm?”

She chuckled. “You were ten. She was seven. And I could never keep you two apart. You were always sneaking off together.” You turned from the sink, drying your hands with a towel. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“Oh please,” your mother scoffed, setting her teacup down. “He was like a little shadow. Every time I turned around, Sukuna had his hand wrapped around your wrist, whispering something and whisking you off somewhere. Behind the barn, under the big tree, behind the shed.” Sukuna looked oddly proud, tilting his head. “Well, I had good taste even as a boy.” You blushed, rolling your eyes. “Mama!”

“Oh no, let me finish,” she said, grinning wide now. “I caught him stealing kisses more than once. Thought he was slick, too. Would wait until you were playing tea party, then lean down and kiss your cheek when you were distracted.” Aiyumi’s eyes went wide in her papa’s lap. “Papa stole Mama’s kisses?” Sukuna snorted, his arm wrapping more tightly around you. “Damn right I did.”

“Sukuna!” you laughed, tossing the towel at him. Your mother waved her hand dramatically. “And don’t even get me started on the time he got into a fight with one of the neighbor boys because he said you were gonna marry someone else. Sukuna came home with a black eye and said, ‘He said she was his princess. I had to teach him a lesson.’”

“Sounds like I was consistent,” Sukuna shrugged, clearly pleased with his younger self. “Still teaching lessons.”

“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, cheeks hot with laughter and embarrassment.

Your mother stood up with a sigh, patting Sukuna on the shoulder as she passed. “You were always territorial. I knew back then you’d never let her go. Honestly, I should’ve been more scared of you than impressed. Sukuna glanced at you with that familiar glint in his eyes. “Smart woman.” Aiyumi pouted up at him. “Papa, you can’t steal my kisses! They’re mine!” He smirked, pinching her cheek. “Oh don’t worry, Yumi. You’re my only princess now.”

You smiled as your heart melted at the sight of them. The past was messy, the present full, and the future — it was all theirs now.

next

[s10127470]

So recently, I realized something that's been plaguing nearly every X-Men adaptation for the last 25 years.

That being the lack of focus on the actual X-Men.

Or more specifically, their dynamics and their relationships, which has always been one of the core elements of the franchise.

The most egregious and notorious example (and the one that started it all) was the Fox film franchise.

These films are infamous how much they just bended over backwards to barely focus on anyone that wasn't Wolverine, Xavier, Magneto, and eventually Mystique.

That's largely because Fox wanted to capitalize on the newfound star power of Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Lawrence.

As for Xavier and Magneto, that was because they were played by already big names like Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen.

Another factor was their utter reluctance to actually have the movies feel like the comics in any sort way.

Which went strong for 20 years straight.

Next up is Wolverine and The X-Men.

Like, dude.

It's literally in the title of the show!

While this show does a slightly better job at actually focusing on The X-Men.

However, besides you know who, the only X-Men that really get any sort of spotlight are Cyclops (which is unfortunate since he sucks in this show), Emma Frost and Nightcrawler (the best character in this whole series).

I already went over why the show was like this in my rewrite for the series, but just for recap.

The executives initially wanted WATXM to be a Wolverine solo cartoon, in order to tie-in with the upcoming X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

But the crew wanted to make it a new X-Men cartoon.

So they ended up compromising.

The show would have The X-Men as the main cast, but have Wolverine as the focal character.

Now we come to X-Men '97.

At first, it seemed like it was gonna finally be focusing on The X-Men and their dynamics.

Unfortunately, we didn't really get that.

Admittedly, a large part of that is unfortunately due to the pitiful episode count.

Seriously, can we get an animated streaming show that can have a season with more ten fucking episodes?

And as a result of that, the series was pretty much all plot with barely any breathing time and more importantly, scenes where we see how the team bounce off each other and their relationships with one another.

The closest we've gotten to that is the romance.

Cyclops and Jean's was really the only one that was handled pretty well.

Same goes for the homoerotic tension between Wolverine and Morph.

But everything else wasn't.....

Rogue and Gambit got done REAL dirty because they unfortunately had to be dragged into an unnecessary love triangle.

Storm and Forge just.....existed.

And Jubilee and Roberto is so boring I keep forgetting they even got together.

(Side note: Roberto sucks.)

Their relationship is one of the best examples of heteronormativity I can think of.

Unfortunately, a major reason why is due to this geezer.

Yeah.....

Signing my death wish, I really don't like Magneto in this show.

And for a few reasons.

The most important is how much he overshadows the other X-Men.

The only ones that aren't are Cyclops, Jean, Nightcrawler and Morph.

And to a slight extent: Storm and Rogue.

Wolverine, Gambit, Beast, Jubilee, and ESPECIALLY Bishop all get kinda shafted.

Though I don't mind in Wolverine's case (probably because he spent the better of a decade hogging everyone's spotlight).

Another major reason is how he's portrayed and treated by the show.

The original animated series was pretty sympathetic towards the guy, but still regularly called him out for his bullshit.

But '97 is clearly much more in favor of Magneto.

They barely show any of his flaws.

And anything he does is completely justified, no matter how disastrous it may seem.

And almost any interaction and moment involving him is either him being glazed or aura farming.

And if that wasn't proof enough, the show even says the iconic phrase.....

"Magneto was right."

This is unfortunately the result of main showrunner (and resident creep) Beau DeMayo, who's pretty clearly a huge Magneto stan.

And unfortunately, he falls into the trap I've seen with other Magneto fans of portraying him as the damn Messiah, who's has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

The only thing I can give Beau is that unlike most Magneto fans, he doesn't portrayed Xavier like the spawn of Satan.

Two moments that really grinds my gears are when he denies Jubilee from celebrating her birthday, and of course, the whole love triangle between him, Rogue and Gambit.

Starting off with the latter, I've already talk about how much the "romance" between Magneto and Rogue just sucks.

It came right the fuck out of nowhere (and was obviously a retcon).

It has incredibly creepy and predatory vibes and undertones.

They have no damn chemistry with each other.

And worst of all, it ended up being incredibly pointless since they don't even end up together.

I have no clue why these two are into each other.

Apart from physical appearance, in Rogue's case, Magneto can actually touch her.

But even then, it still feels pretty shallow.

But in Magneto's case, I have no clue why he's even into Rogue.

Even putting aside the blatant retcon.

I saw someone point out how heteronormative their relationship feels, and dear God, they're right!

Like, Magneto was the only other person Rogue could hook-up with besides Gambit?

I mean, I know there's one person on The X-Men that Rogue could've gotten with if she couldn't get with Gambit.

But let's real, if these two got together, heads would fucking roll at the thought of any of The X-Men not being traditionally straight.

Even among The X-Men fans.

Trust me, I have seen people in that fandom like that.

Also, the Magneto and Rogue relationship couldn't have come at a funnier time because have you seen what 2024 was like?!

Anyway, him also denying Jubilee doing anything for her birthday was a massive dick move.

I wouldn't mind these moments if Magneto got any sort of callout for them.

Plus maybe these could show us more about his character and even lead to some character growth.

Like, the reason why Magneto wants to get back with Rogue is because he's deeply lonely.

I mean, given his life so far, can't you blame him.

He's definitely spent most of it alone.

And the times he's been around other people, it unfortunately usually ended up in some kind of tragedy.

And given from the relationships we've seen with the guy, Rogue's the only one that didn't go south.

But he eventually gives up on his feelings for her and let's Rogue be with Gambit because he genuinely respects her.

And in the case of denying Jubilee her birthday, that could be the result of Magneto not really understanding how important those can be.

I mean, you can't tell me you couldn't see Magneto being kinda socially ignorant and inept, especially how lonely his life has been.

Hell, Magneto's arc over the course of '97 could've been him forming genuine bonds with The X-Men.

Finally becoming one of them.

And even becoming a more humble person.

That would've been so cool, and it would definitely fit given that one of Magneto's flaws is his superiority complex.

You know, actual character development!

And as the comics haven shown us, Humble Magneto is PEAK Magneto.

But anyway, that's all have to say.

For the next X-Men cartoon, let's make it a slice-of-life cartoon.

I want to see these guys actually interact with each other and the bonds between each other!

Also, before you ask, yes, X-Men Evolution doesn't count because it actually focuses on the relationships among the team.

And it slaps because it.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Day 1- New Plot Bunny #1

Alright, starting things off this week with one of my new plot bunnies. This was actually supposed to be for a fest week before I realized it could definitely be expanded into a multi-chapter work. I hope you guys like it!

The Not So Lost Kingdom of Erebor

Rating: G

Warning(s): N/A

Ship: Bagginshield

Words: 1423

Summary: Atlantis AU. Bilbo is a raider who is only after books. The rarer, the better, with his sights set on Erebor, Lost Kingdom Under the Mountain. Getting in is the easy part, getting out? Maybe harder than he thought.

If you asked Bilbo Baggins what he did, he would tell you he was a field historian. No, that did not mean he was an archeologist. He was not funded by the academic community, he used his own resources to find items of value from long ago and acquire them. That might make him sound like a looter, but he would argue he had no interest in gold and gems. It was books that fascinated him. The rarer, the better. Bilbo’s personal library was filled with scrolls from Numenor, tomes from Gondolin, even what Bilbo hoped was animal skin baring orders in dark speech from Mordor. You see, Bilbo had grown up knowing the value in knowledge, and he currently felt invincible. 

Maybe that’s the reason for his latest obsession: the library of Erebor. The supposedly largest collection of Khuzdul books in all of Middle Earth. Supposed because Erebor had been lost for the last three thousand years, and many argued against its existence at all. According to legend, the Khazâd of Ered Mithrim were run out of their home in the mountains and split into two factions. Those that followed the eldest prince, Thror, and those that followed his brother, Gror, to the Iron Hills. Thror led his people to Erebor, the Lonely Mountain, where they prospered for many years before suddenly vanishing without a trace. There wasn’t a single historical record to indicate what became of them which was why most historians gave it up as myth. But not Bilbo. And finally, he may just have the key to finding the lost city once and for all.

“Gandalf. How in the world did you come by this?” Bilbo breathed in delight.

The old man merely grinned smugly around his pipe.

“I have my ways.” 

Bilbo couldn’t even find it in himself to press Gandalf for answers like he usually would. A map. He had a map to Erebor. His gloved fingers glided over the ancient document pointing towards a secret entrance on the side of the mountain.

“But how do I get in?” Bilbo murmured to himself.

“I had Elrond take a look. You know his linguistic feats in ancient Khuzdul.”

Bilbo nodded, urging Gandalf to continue.

“Apparently there was a hidden message written in a special ink that could only be read by the light of a particular moon.”

Bilbo felt himself laugh in surprise. Ancient civilizations and their innovations never ceased to amaze him. 

“And what did the message say?”

“Stand by the gray stone when the thrush knocks, and the setting sun with the last light of Durin’s Day will shine upon the keyhole.”

A riddle! Bilbo rather enjoyed a good riddle, and as he considered this one, two things immediately became apparent to him.

“Durin’s Day is only a couple of weeks away.” He remarked.

“I’ve already booked you a ticket to Dale.” Gandalf returned.

“And a keyhole implies there is a key.”

Gandalf rolled his hand over, producing a key from thin air. Bilbo snorted and shook his head, not overly impressed with his friend’s sleight of hand. He took the key from Gandalf feeling the excitement coursing through his veins. Erebor. It was almost within his grasp.

***

Crossing through miles of private government property was certainly nothing new to Bilbo, but the keyhole appearing at just the right amount of light on Durin’s Day was rather amazing. Bilbo would almost call it magic if he believed in such a thing. Still, it was almost too easy. A city no one had entered into for three millennia, and there Bilbo was at the back door staring down a dark and dusty tunnel. 

Holding his flashlight in his mouth, Bilbo pulled out the map he had put together. He used the blueprints of other Khazâd mountain cities to locate the general direction of the library. Bilbo had learned his lesson in Khazad-dum that these places were basically labyrinths of stone, and Bilbo had no interest in wasting days down here. 

He came upon a room of golden light and had to pause to gape at the ocean of gold. The legends said Erebor was flowing with riches, but it was an entirely different thing to see it in person. Bilbo remained standing there for a good ten minutes before shaking his head and continuing on. Gold was not the kind of treasure he was after. He went up a short incline, down the next hall, walked across the small bridge over the dark abyss, and then hung a right. Finally, the only prize worth stealing. Bilbo quickly stowed away his map as he pushed on one of the great doors. It creaked in protest, making Bilbo wince even when he knew he was the only one there for miles before he got it far enough to where he could slip inside.

Bilbo’s breath caught as his flashlight bounced over rows and rows of books. He turned his eyes upward, laughing in delight. The bookshelves stood a good thirty to forty feet high, all lined with thick tomes. He would never be able to read so many books in his whole life, and yet it was all his. No one else would ever find it. His fingers glided over the covers of the nearest books, transfixed by their condition. There was no decay. No dust. Nothing to indicate they had been abandoned for as long as they had. How fascinating. What did the Ereborians use to glaze their pages? The modern world could definitely learn a thing or two from them. 

Any one of these books would be an excellent addition to his collection, but he was after a very specific tome. A history started by Durin I and passed down to each king of the Longbeards. The Arkenstone. 

Bilbo turned to go down the next row, only to get the shock of his life. He screamed, dropping his flashlight now shining on the boot of the man before him. His dark hair hung in loose curls save for two braids framing the side of his stern face hidden under a short beard. His arms were crossed against his chest, and his clothing was definitely outdated. 

Bilbo clutched his heart as he heaved a sigh of relief. Getting jumpy over a statue, you would think this was his first adventure. He bent down to pick up his flashlight, only for one of the boots to raise and slam down on top of it plunging them into darkness. Bilbo screamed bloody murder as a hand reached out to grasp his arm in a tight hold.

“Vemu, Akdâmuthrab. (Greetings, Burglar.)”

Bilbo felt utterly faint as he shook his head in disbelief. “I’m dreaming. I must be. There can’t be anyone else here.”

“Lukhudel. (Light of all lights.)” The man commanded and Bilbo found himself suddenly blinking against a flood of light in the chamber.

He carefully looked around to note crystals hanging along the walls like sconces, now all glowing with an ethereal greenish-gold light. Bilbo blinked up at the man who still had a hold of him, noting the crown upon his head before he started struggling to get away.

“Let go of me!” He demanded.

“Enough!” The man growled, still in Khuzdul. “You will answer me. How did you get in here?”

“Through a door. How else?” Bilbo mouthed back in Khuzdul before he could stop himself.

The man reeled as if he had been shocked, dropping Bilbo immediately.

“You know Khuzdul? How? Our language is reserved only for khuzd (dwarf) and khuzdbâha (dwarf-friend).”

“I was granted special permission.” Bilbo brushed aside, glaring up at the man. “Who are you and how did you find Erebor?”

The man released a chuckle almost in disbelief.

“Find it? I’ve lived here my whole life. And I think you’re a liar and a thief. Guards!”

Suddenly, more people stormed into the room. Bilbo tried to run, but they had a hold of him before he could really get anywhere. He struggled against the grips of the burly, taller men as the first man addressed them.

“Take this outsider to the dungeons. I’ll be down to question him shortly.”

Dungeons? Surely he was joking! Where did this guy think he was? In some sort of medieval fair? However, it was the response from the guards that gave Bilbo pause.

“Of course, King Thorin.”

King Thorin? The last king of Erebor. Bilbo took note of the features of the man once more feeling his face drain of color. Just what was going on?

[grokebaby]

[Present day]

The "Case"

"Nyevilicus, we need to talk." Mewmew said, entering the room. Something about ms presence held a seriousness that Evie didn't like, but alas. It must be important if ms bothering-err interacting with them. Truth be told, Mewmew and Evilicus had been floating quite far from each other lately despite living in the same house. After Evilicus' return, and the initial confrontation it brought, things had sort of settled.

"Very well.. I'm listening." they said, reserved, sitting down. The kitchen was dim with the orange of sunset coming through the cracks in the curtains. Dusk being one of the most frequent times they happened to interact at all, seeing their differences in daily rhythm. That, or their differences of native planets..

"So, please understand that iyam coming to you about this with good intentions, I only want what's the best for everyone, alright? Please hear me out til I've finished speaking. I have nyour best interest in mind as well." Mewmew started prefacing ms future statement, and suddenly it all felt heaps more frightening than before. Evie will have to prepare to swallow more now. Perhaps it was about time, after some of the revelations they'd had earlier.. Maybe it'll be good. But it'll certainly sting.

"Okay.. I'm ready, then.."

"Alright, good. Good! Um." Mewmew tapped ms paws on the table. Mews expression became sort of.. Gentler. Something about it made Evie's stomach drop, and they couldn't explain why. They must've done something wrong. "So, I wanted to just say that if you ever need.. Support, for dealing with your emotions, or.. Ways to manage them constructively.." Oh, now it's just embarrassing. They shrunk further into their armor, but kept listening nonetheless.

"Please, just let me know. Okay? I've dealt with these things too, and it.. It'll help you feel better too! I assure you. I'm nyat here to judge you, I'm not enrolled in the alliance, okay, everything here is just everyday business. Nyalright?" Mewmew concluded, ears slightly drawn back. Was that a good sign? It feels like ms holding something back.

Evilicus only nodded.

Mewmew seemed relieved. To some extent.. "Alright. Alright, good! Thank nya for listening. I'm proud of you. Just, please leave the livestock alone, it's very important to the humans living here."

...

......

".. What?"

"Mrrp?"

"What do you. What livestock? You mean earthly animals?"

Mewmew looked like m braced mself for something for a second, as if m wanted to sigh. "Nyou.. Know what I'm talking about.."

There was an increasing silence between them, as they looked between each other. Evilicus glanced around the room, as if the answers would magically spawn out of something. Anything?

".. What?"

"...."

"....."

"Evilicus." Mewmew said, though firmly, now with increasing emotion in ms voice. Evie couldn't really tell what it was, but hoped not anger, nor disappointment. Still reeling from the sudden comeuppance of unknown conversation topics, Evilicus scratched their face. "I uhm.. I really don't know what you're talking about here.. S..sorry.." their voice grew smaller and smaller towards the end. Mewmew shot them a look, as if in disbelief, although parts of it had to be some form of discomfort. "Ih-"

Mew took a breath in. "The farmers in this town have reported.. Increasing cases where their livestock - like, sheep, cows.. Have been.. Killed. They suspected wild nyanimals at first, but.. The livestock wasn't really eaten that much and.." Mew grew uncomfortable.

".. And?"

"And the cases were just starting to look more.. Like.. Brutalized. And it-" Mew breathed out heavily, fidgeting. "It doesn't look like anything a wild animal could do. Anymore.." m concluded, now facing Evilicus razor sharply in the eyes. "I wanted to come to you about this.. Fairly. In a fair manner. Which is why I brought up the-the managing of feewings, and-"

"And so, wait, you think.. You think I did this?" Evilicus put their hand on the table, their whole presence tense.

"-Out of anger, or vengeance maybe, something, I don't know but we can talk about it-"

"I did not do that. What reason do I have to take my emotions out on animals? Nor the townspeople?? And on another note, I've barely left this house since coming back!" Evilicus stood up from their chair, blood racing under their skin. They could hear it clearly, echoing off the metal. Mewmew stood up as well, partway, putting ms paws up defensively. As if pacifying a frightened animal.

"I said we can talk about this, Villy, if you did do it-"

"I DIDN'T."

Silence fell between them once again. Oh, this is way worse than what they could've anticipated. Doing something wrong and being told about it gently? Sure. But hearing something bad happened and immediately assuming blame on Evilicus themself? Decrepid.

It's not that Mewmew wouldn't be valid to doubt the moral of their actions - it's plenty understandable. No, what's terrifying about this situation is that it's just plausible enough to blame on Evilicus. And knowing their history, they really, Really don't have enough alibi to prove otherwise.

A cruel twist of fate.

It's almost.. Too convenient. Isn't it.

Evilicus swallowed.

"Look, I know you don't have.. Much, to trust me on my word yet," their voice trembled, heat flashing their forehead. "But I swear.. I've not left this house. I've not spoken to anyone but you. Nor seen anyone. But you. Ever since I returned." they continued, feverishly, feeling the seconds tick by, feeling how their dark and dingy heart was now resting soft, still beating, on Mewmews paws. Their only grace, only mercy, only other person in this cosmos right now.

And they cannot lose it.

Mewmew looked between their eyes, as if searching - desperately, for something. For a shred of trust. For a bit of patience within mew. To believe this, and walk the path m set on when deciding to do all this for Evilicus at all.

Those few seconds were the longest of their life.

Mew sighed. "Alright.. I believe you. I'm sorry. It's just.. It worried me, and I.. Sorry." Mew blinked a few times, leaning back on ms chair. And it's no wonder mew seemed defeated by this, because if they chose to believe Evilicus instead of the rest of the scene, they'd both have to grapple with the next question.

Who's doing this?

[youremyonlyhope]

I've recently realized that Orange Juice by Noah Kahan needs to be added to the very short list of songs that make me want to sob just hearing it.

The only other ones on that list are Picture In A Frame by Tom Waits and Let Her Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish.

[tsuy4n]

The Artist Who Lives for the Plot

Warning/s: Fem!Reader, Mild language/casual swearing, chaotic energy (duh), unhinged humor, reader suffering (comically)

[A/n]: I had so much fun writing, and dw. Part 2 will be coming soon. It's time to live with them. If it all fits, that'll be the last and final one! Thank you for your support <3

>Part 1<, Part 2, Part 3,...

Day 1: Staff Badge, Zero Fear

You just received a job. Technically, a side-job.

You needed the extra cash. Rent was due next week, and at this point, the only thing growing faster than your stress was the mold in your bathroom.

Being a webtoon artist had always been the dream. You studied—poses, anatomy, lighting, shading, even a bit of photography thanks to that one kind sunbae back in high school. You poured years into perfecting your craft. But… doing your dream job in reality?

Yeah. Not exactly how you imagined it.

Making money through art was already hard. Add today’s economy into the mix, and suddenly budgeting meant rotating between cheap instant meals and whatever eggs were on sale. Not the healthiest diet, but it got you through deadlines. Mostly.

Anyway. Enough with that depressing backstory.

Today, you were helping out behind the scenes—cleaning up, running errands, doing whatever the other staff didn’t have time for. The entire building was in chaos, people rushing around, shouting schedules, checking equipment. Apparently, some new boy group was debuting soon.

Like, in a week or something? You hadn’t seen them yet, but you had heard things.

"They’re gorgeous," One of the stylists whispered while curling a wig. "Like, inhuman levels of beautiful."

That alone was enough to catch your attention.

You weren’t trying to ogle anyone. You just needed some visual inspiration. For art, obviously.

So when someone asked you to bring water to the practice room? You may or may not have speed-walked your way there with the excitement of a fangirl and the blank expression of a very tired assistant.

The moment you opened the door, chaos greeted you. They were arguing. And loud.

Great for drama. Better for material.

"Do you want to achieve world domination or not?!" The black-haired one snapped, voice sharp like he was conducting a military operation instead of a boy group practice.

"Then hit the beat— on time!"

Ah, the leader. Jinu, you think was his name.

"You're 0.5 seconds off." The one who's half of his face was covered with hair flatly said.

"I told you, it’s called flair." Said the one with pink hair, heart-shaped bangs framing his face.

"You mean lag." The mint haired muttered, eyes glued to his phone.

"Shut it." Groaned the one with the ridiculous muscles, dabbing sweat off his face like a disappointed gym coach. "Let’s just start from the top before Captain Serious combusts."

That’s when they noticed you.

But by then, you’d already seen them—and everything else.

Oh, your eyes. They were blinding.

It was like walking into a manhwa panel. Ethereal lighting. Sweat glistening on toned arms. Perfect jawlines. Tall, broad silhouettes. You barely managed not to trip over your own feet.

This was it. The vision. You felt it. The inspiration burning through your veins.

You cleared your throat, doing your best to keep a neutral expression as you set the bottles near the mirrors.

And then, you said it. Casual. Straight-faced. Deadpan. "If this is what world domination looks like, I think the lighting needs work."

Silence.

They stared, blinked, and glanced at one another. Confused.

Jinu sighed. "Let’s take five."

The rest of the group immediately relaxed, stretching, dropping to the floor, cheering like they’d survived a war. Understandable. You heard they’d been practicing for hours.

You tried not to stare. You failed.

A voice pulled your attention.

"Thanks for the drink, cutie." It's the long haired dude. His voice was smooth and his smile was confident, borderline illegal.

Romance. That had to be his stage name.

Your eyes did a quick scan. You were mentally labeling all of them. It wasn’t weird. Not in a weird way. No. This was research.

Another one, shirt clinging to his abs like it was painted on, snatched a bottle and chugged it like he hadn’t tasted water in days. Abby, clearly.

You blinked. He was broad. The kind of chest that made you think of shirt buttons fighting for their lives. He smirked at you.

You immediately looked away and bowed slightly, mouthing a silent apology for being caught staring.

Then your gaze moved to the one on his phone, laughing at something you can't tell.

"That's so dumb." Mint hair said under his breath. His face? Cute. His voice? Low. Totally not what you expected, but love. You eat that kinda character up in stories.

He must be Baby.

Then there was the guy with long pastel hair partially covering his face. He hadn’t said a word. He hadn’t even looked your way. Mysterious aura? Check. It's clear he's Mystery.

And finally, back to Jinu. The leader. He carried himself like someone dependable. Stern but fair, and he's like that because he wants to see them all succeed.

That's such an eye watering story.

You tried not to squeal. Really, you did. But your fingers were already itching to draw. You can't wait for break to come.

Speaking of break... You look at them. It's only been a minute since they started that. You shouldn't, yeah.

"Excuse me." And yet you're already speaking. "Would it be alright if I took some photos?"

The room quieted a little. You could practically hear their thoughts. Another poor staff member, helpless under their charms.

"Go ahead." Jinu said, offering a small smile. What a charming fella.

He seems like he’d be one of those knight captains in those historical webtoons. The kind who stands behind the throne, silent and strong, carrying the kingdom on his back without asking for thanks.

Daydreaming later, let’s get clicking!

With permission granted, you lit up and pulled out your phone, trying hard not to bounce in excitement. As soon as your camera opened, they were already posing.

Of course they were.

You took a few shots—clean, fast, a few from different angles. They assumed you were done. They assumed wrong.

You lowered your phone, frowned slightly, and pointed at Abby.

"Flex your arm. No—more toward that side. Yes, hold that. Chin down."

They all froze.

"Huh?" Abby blinked.

And just like that, a full-on impromptu photoshoot began. You were directing them like your life depended on it. They followed along, slightly confused but too prideful to stop now.

"Yo..." Abby muttered, peeking at one of the photos. "I didn’t know my abs could look this good. Muscle definition on point."

He's beyond satisfied and that boosts your confidence in your photography skills yet again.

Soon, the rest of them were swarming your phone, snatching it to see their pictures and gawk at their undeniably gorgeous self.

Before chaos could start between them, you took your phone back in your hands as a really huge and bright smile was on your face.

"Thank you so much for indulging this staff member her request!" You made your way to the door with an awkward half-bow, twisting the knob, turning back one last time.

"I’m rooting for you guys! You got this!"

And with that, you were gone. Silence lingered in the room.

"So are we just letting random staff direct us now?" Baby asked, glancing at the others. "Cool. Cool cool cool."

"Yeah." Romance agreed with a nod. "But she's cute isn't she?"

"Every girl’s cute to you." Abby said, bumping his shoulder against him and tossing an arm lazily around Romance’s neck. "Get new taste, man."

"She didn’t even ask for an autograph." Jinu added, almost puzzled. Usually people would ask for that. He did his research well, you know.

"She just wanted photos." Mystery mumbled, his head tilting slightly to the side.

"Of us," Abby said proudly, a sudden, inexplicable breeze swept through the room—no open windows, no vents. Just vibes(?)

The edge of Abby’s fitted shirt lifted slightly, just enough to reveal a flash of perfectly sculpted abs.

He smirked. "Duh."

Fast forward—

Your first day ended early. Convenient, right? That meant more time to look at the pictures you took earlier. You couldn’t wait to study those shots, not in a weird way.

You’d been stuck on one panel of your webtoon for days, and no matter how deep you dove into Pinterest or Google, nothing looked quite right.

But thanks to that idol group, your prayers were answered. Sort of.

You expected to be on the bus by now, earbuds in, zoning out to music. Instead, you were standing in front of a convenience store, digging through your bag for your wallet when a realization hit you like a truck.

No cable. No charger. Not even a hint of it.

You double-checked. Nope. Gone.

You groaned out loud, dragging a hand down your face.

"Perfect." You muttered with a scowl. "Love that for me."

Then again, a bit of late-night cardio never hurt anyone. Yeah, scratch that shit. The universe clearly hated you.

The studio was still unlocked, the lobby empty. You flashed your staff ID in front of the scanner near the door—it beeped, the lock clicked, and in you went.

The overhead lights had been dimmed. Most of the staff were long gone. The silence was oddly calming.

You retraced your steps, mentally going through every place you'd stopped during the day. The break room was empty. No luck. The side lounge? Same story.

Third option: the rehearsal room.

You sighed. "Third time’s the charm." You mumbled, adjusting the strap on your bag as you headed down the hallway.

Your steps slowed as you neared the practice room. The door was closed, but voices leaked through—low, intense. Not the usual banter or off-key singing. Just… murmurs. Uneven. Cult-like.

You blinked. 'Holy hell, they’re still practicing?'

You glanced at your phone. It was late. Your shift ended an hour ago.

What are they made of? Protein powder and ambition?

What are they eating? Dreams? Caffeine? Hope??

You needed to ask. Not for curiosity. For survival. Your deadline was crawling up your spine like a tax collector and you were this close to drawing stick figures for tomorrow’s update.

The lights under the door flickered—blue, then red, then something that looked like a Windows error message.

You stared. Paused. Maybe they were testing stage lights.

Maybe they were summoning Satan. You didn't care. You just needed your charger. So you pushed the door open.

"I’m really sorry for disturbing you, but—" No matter how tired you were from today’s chaos, you still had manners.

They stood in a loose circle, shadows stretched long and unnatural, and… was that a portal? How the hell did they manage that?

If it was an illusion, it was top-tier. What were they feeding these hologram artists? Everyone in this team was way too talented.

Six heads snapped toward you.

You only blinked, admiration shining in your eyes. "Cool cosplay. Is this for the music video?"

A beat of silence.

Then your gaze flicked to the ceiling, eyes narrowing in critique. "Lighting’s a bit much, though. Shadows are swallowing Jinu’s jawline—tragic. Tilt the main source up just a bit next time."

You said what you said and you don't want to wait for a reply. You turn on your phone flashlight and started scanning the floor, stepping past the demon-plush aesthetic like you were dodging cables on a cluttered set.

There. Your charger lay near the edge of the mirror wall.

You scooped it up with a triumphant sigh and gave them all a quick thumbs-up.

"Good luck on the scene rehearsal." You chirped, already walking toward the door.

Click.

The door shut behind you, leaving nothing but baffled beings.

"…Who was that?" One of the figures finally asked, voice low and sharp.

"Staff." Abby replied, blinking.

"A weird human." Baby added, eyes at the door just like the others.

The tallest demon tilted its head, "Should we take care of her?"

The hunger was clear in its tone. Like it could already taste your soul.

Jinu was the first to speak. "No," He said sharply. "Not yet."

There was a pause. The demon turned slightly toward him. "You hesitate."

"I don’t make moves without information." Jinu said, arms crossed. "She’s… off."

"Off?" One of the smaller ones asked. "She looked normal."

"She looked like she was analyzing us," He muttered as he thought back to your behavior from earlier. "Not scared. Not confused. She looked like she’d seen stranger things."

"She was watching our movements earlier," Mystery informed from his corner, his voice soft. "Sketchpad in her lap."

"You sure it's not some fanfic crap?" Baby deadpanned.

"No." Jinu replied, tone quieter now. "It wasn’t that kind of writing. It was too structured. Like she was mapping something out. Watching patterns."

The demons seemed vaguely amused by the theory.

"So… a spy?" One of them asked, half-joking.

"Maybe," Jinu’s expression darkened. "Or something else. Either way, I’ll figure it out."

He didn’t voice the rest:

She looked one of the demon in the eye like she was judging him.

She also told them to fix the lighting.

She moved like the demon was interrupting her schedule.

Either she’s an expert who’ll be a problem later…or just another idiot with good timing and bad boundaries. Still. Better to play it safe.

The demons didn’t press. They glanced at one another then shrugged. Fine. Let him figure it out. Would’ve been more fun if he let them eat her soul, but hey—he’s the leader.

Without another word, they vanished through the pink portals back to the demon realm, leaving behind silence.

It didn’t last long.

Romance sighed dreamily. "Okay but… if she is a spy, she’s kinda hot."

Jinu didn’t reply. He just rubbed his temples, the beginnings of a headache forming right behind his eyes.

First a debut, now possible espionage from the world’s most dead-eyed assistant with a sketchpad.

Great.

He’d already built enough stress to level a small village. Now this?

…Cool. Fine. He’ll handle it. He always does.

Still.

Lighting advice?? Who just— No. Never mind. He stood straighter, his focus clear as glass.

He'll take care of you sooner or later once he knows your motive.

And so you lived through the first day of your new side-job.

Sure, it ended with strange flickering lights, a suspiciously cult-like gathering, and the very real possibility that the idol group you just met might be into LARPing or, worse, weird method acting.

But hey, sick concept. You respect the dedication. You genuinely hoped they listened to your advice about the lighting.

Still, your charger was back in your bag, your sketchpad was bursting with ideas, you get to draw that panel finally, and your rent wouldn’t pay itself.

So, if a bunch of pretty boys wanted to summon smoke and dramatic lighting on company time?

Not your business—as long as they made great reference material.

As you draw, you think things like:

Abby’s arms practically had their own agency. You swore his biceps flexed every time he blinked.

Jinu looked like a man carrying the weight of his group… and your outstanding bills.

And Romance? Prince face, main character energy, and probably the type to Google himself just to read the fan comments.

You, on the other hand, were so innocently, completely unaware of what awaited you.

Probably harassment, but definitely plot.

Day 2: HR Is Not Ready for This

You didn’t expect much on your second day.

Maybe some light sweating, a few awkward water runs, and enough quiet time to sneak in some sketching or brainstorm for ideas on your story.

You just wanted to observe, breathe, survive. Simple.

But the universe and apparently five very nosy boys had other plans.

The moment you entered the room, the air shifted. Not dramatically. Just enough to feel… watched.

Your gaze moved from one to the next—Abby adjusting his shirt (and definitely flexing more than needed), Mystery casually stretching nearby like a ninja cat, Baby muttering to himself while scrolling, and Jinu… he was definitely looking at you.

But you didn’t notice that.

You were too focused on your clipboard, scribbling poses and notes like a diligent little artist.

"You’ve been staring again."

You jumped a little. Jinu’s voice. Low. Observant.

You blinked up at him. "Oh, um— sorry?"

His brow arched before a tiny smile tugged at his lips. An attempt to lighten up the air around. "It’s fine. Just… felt like you were memorizing our skeletons."

You laughed, a little too nervously. "No! I mean—well, kind of? I’m an artist."

"...Right."

Was that judgment? You should be offended, right? Yes. But inside.

"It’s for character design," You explained. "I draw for webtoons. You guys are… kind of perfect models."

Jinu studied you. Scribbly. Polite. Very tired. But his gut didn’t trust you. "…Just don’t publish anything weird about us."

You gave him a two-finger salute. "No promises."

He walked off—suspicious, calculating, and weirdly handsome about it.

You sighed, then looked down. You’d circled a line on your page.

"Too symmetrical. Suspicious."

The second day at work is fun! Yeah, right. Fucking fuck. Today's exhausting. And not the "Wow, they’re so dreamy, I’m swooning~" kind.

No. This was “I swear to god if one of them breathes over my shoulder again, I will throw this pen” level of tired.

You were just trying to observe quietly, take notes, and survive the shift.

But subtle glances? Apparently that translated to "please, harass me."

Romance started singing, badly, every time your pen moved. Said it helped set the mood. You told him to change the playlist.

Abby kept "accidentally" standing right in your view. Shirt raised. Flex engaged. Asking, "How’s the lighting on my triceps now?"

Mystery appeared over your shoulder with zero warning, stared at your sketch, nodded, then vanished again like an IKEA ghost.

Baby? Baby muttered your critique out loud just to mess with you.

"‘Neck angle inconsistent’? Wow, harsh." All while smirking so handsomely. Baby. As in the one from hell. With Wi-Fi and zero respect for your peace. Like his fucking members.

You squinted at him, nearly blessing the world with the ugliest scowl known to man. "How are you even reading that from across the room?"

He didn’t answer. He just smiled wider.

Oh, these bastards were enjoying your suffering.

Was bullying the new staff part of their team-building exercises? Hazing disguised as charisma? They haven’t even debuted yet!

The audacity when their Spotify numbers are still at zero.

You'd think world domination came with manners, but no.

Contrary to their faces—artfully sculpted by angels or Photoshop—their personalities were straight-up hellspawn. (Ironic.)

By the time you were done, your social battery had collapsed into dust. You passed by a staff member in the hallway, maybe a stylist or someone from props.

"You look… drained."

You nodded. "Drained is generous. I feel like I’ve been emotionally dry-cleaned."

They laughed. You didn’t. You're mourning your peace.

Meanwhile, back in the practice room:

The air was quieter now. But tense.

Jinu stood near the speaker, arms crossed. His expression unreadable. "She’s hiding something."

The others didn’t laugh this time.

"Maybe she’s just weird." Baby offered his thought.

"Doesn’t mean she’s not dangerous." Jinu replied.

"So what, we just keep annoying her until she cracks?" Romance said, upside-down on the couch, legs kicking in the air like a chaotic cat.

"No." Jinu’s eyes didn’t waver. "We keep watching her until she shows us what she’s really here for.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then Abby grinned like he's excited and can't wait to act whatever on his mind. "So. Strategic pestering. Got it."

Jinu didn’t stop him, or anyone of the boys. Whatever it takes to make you crack he guess.

Later that night, you collapsed at your desk.

Still alive. Barely.

You flipped open your sketchpad, flipping past pages of poses, muscle references, and narrowed notes.

"Abby’s arms could run their own business."

"Romance: pretty, but loud."

"Baby = gremlin with a phone."

"Mystery—??? Stop teleporting???"

You sighed, poked at your charger, then scribbled one last line before calling it a night.

If tomorrow’s like this again, I might fake a cold. Or a coma. Or both.

Still... their interest in your art? Kind of flattering. Mostly annoying.

[seokwrts]

SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN

KIM MINGYU | nsfw one shot

synopsis : at a wild college party, tension that’s been simmering for weeks finally ignites when Y/N is dared to spend seven minutes in heaven with her cocky, dangerously attractive friend, Mingyu. What starts as a game quickly turns into a heated encounter neither of them will forget—changing everything between them in just seven minutes.

“Seven minutes, let’s see how many times I can make you fall apart before time’s up”

pairing : kim mingyu x f!reader

genre : college au , smut , friends to lovers , mutual pining , forced proximity

word count : 8.1k

warnings : MDNI , sexual content, unprotected sex, sexual innuendo, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, public teasing, mild slut-shaming, mild alcohol use, casual intimacy, and emotionally charged group dynamics.

Y/N was already regretting the second layer of lip gloss when Elle grabbed her by the arm.

“Stop fidgeting,” Elle groaned, eyeing her in the mirror. “You look hot. Slutty, but hot.”

Y/N laughed, brushing a final touch of mascara onto her lashes. “Thanks. I was going for college party, but make it unbothered and slightly unhinged.”

“You nailed it,” Elle said, sliding in her gold hoops with a wink. “Especially the unbothered part. The lip gloss screams, I’m not desperate, but I will step on you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and reached for her leather jacket. “Okay, relax.”

Elle snorted. “Relax? Please. I’ve seen the way you spiral when Mingyu walks into the room.”

Y/N paused. Jacket half on.

“I don’t spiral.”

“Babe,” Elle said, turning to face her fully. “You go feral. Your entire soul leaves your body. I’ve watched it happen. It’s like a full-blown event.”

“I do not go feral,” Y/N insisted, but her face was already heating.

“You literally gasped the last time he wore that grey hoodie that hugs his back like it owes him money.”

“It was a really good hoodie,” Y/N muttered defensively.

“You said, and I quote, ‘That man could ruin my credit score and I’d say thank you.’”

Y/N flopped onto the edge of the bed, groaning into her hands. “Why do you remember everything embarrassing I say?”

“Because your crush on Mingyu is the highlight of my college experience,” Elle said brightly, grabbing her phone. “It’s adorable. Tragic. A little thirsty. But mostly adorable.”

Y/N gave her a look. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

“You’ve had a crush on him for how long now? Like… since freshman year?”

“More like the first week of freshman year,” Y/N admitted, voice muffled behind her hands. “He said hi to me in the dining hall line and I forgot how to speak.”

Elle cackled. “So tonight’s the night, then?”

“The night for what?”

“The night your Mingyu thirst saga becomes a spicy enemies-to-lovers one-shot instead of a silent, slow-burn pining fic with no plot.”

Y/N groaned again, but this time she was laughing too. “I hate you.”

“You love me. And I love that I’m manifesting your hot girl era.”

She finally stood, adjusting her skirt one last time. “Okay. Let’s go before you start making vision boards.”

They left the dorm around ten, walking into the night like it owed them something. The sidewalks glistened faintly under streetlights from the late drizzle, and the air had that early fall edge—cool enough to raise goosebumps, warm enough not to care.

Y/N clutched her phone in one hand, jacket draped over her shoulders like armor. Every step closer to the party made her heart beat just a little faster.

She didn’t know if tonight would change anything.

But she knew this much:

She looked good. She felt ready.

And if Mingyu looked anything like he usually did—tall, golden-skinned, all stupid charm and sharp jawlines—she was doomed.

Elle bumped her hip against Y/N’s as they reached the end of the block. “Last chance to turn around.”

Y/N took a breath, heart thudding.

“Not a chance.”

The bass thumped through the walls before Y/N and her best friend even stepped inside. It pulsed like a second heartbeat, loud and deep, making the air buzz. “This is packed,” her friend muttered, tugging at the hem of her top as they stepped into the crowded house. Laughter, chatter, and music overlapped into a chaotic hum. Warm bodies pressed close, red cups in nearly every hand, and low amber lights turned the living room into a hazy blur of movement and heat.

Y/N didn’t respond. She barely even heard her.

Because her eyes had already locked onto him. Mingyu.

He was leaning against the kitchen counter like it was his throne. Red cup in hand, head tilted slightly back as he laughed at something someone said. Not just laughed—threw his whole body into it, like he didn’t know how to do anything halfway. His black shirt clung to his broad chest like it had been stitched directly onto his skin. It was criminal, honestly. The way the sleeves hugged his biceps, the way the fabric stretched slightly across his shoulders, the way—

God.

The silver chain at his collarbone gleamed when he turned slightly, catching the light. His dark hair was pushed back casually, revealing the sharp cut of his jawline, the arch of his cheekbones, the perfect curve of his lips. And that smirk?

Deadly. Slow. Deliberate.

She froze. And then he looked up—and noticed her.

Their eyes locked across the room. A beat. Then another. He didn’t look away. His gaze stayed on hers, unwavering, as if everything else had blurred into background noise. He tipped his chin up slightly, the corner of his mouth quirking just enough to say: Yeah. I see you.

Neither did she look away.

“Oh shit,” her best friend whispered, following Y/N’s stare and practically bouncing with excitement. “Is it finally happening?”

“Shut up,” Y/N muttered, but her voice lacked heat. She was too busy trying not to combust. Her lips curled up despite herself. Heat was already blooming on her cheeks, rising up her neck.

Her friend elbowed her. “Go talk to him.”

“What? No.” Y/N blinked and tore her gaze away. “I literally just got here.”

“So? He noticed you. You noticed him. The vibe is already vibing.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but peeked back toward the kitchen. Mingyu was still watching her, now sipping from his cup. Slow. Lazy. Confident.

“I can’t just walk over there,” she muttered.

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll look desperate!”

Her best friend gave her a look. “Girl. You’ve had a crush on him since the first econ lecture. You doodled his initials in your notes.”

“I did not.”

“You did. With hearts.”

Y/N groaned, trying to hide her face in her hands, but the thump of the music gave her away. She peeked again.

Mingyu had shifted. He was still leaning against the counter—but now his body was angled slightly in her direction. His thumb tapped against his cup rhythmically, and then—he raised a brow. Just a little.

Was he—waiting?

Y/N’s breath hitched.

“Okay, but what do I even say?” she mumbled.

Her friend raised a brow. “Hi?”

“I swear to god—”

But before she could finish, someone bumped into her from behind, forcing her a step forward. “Sorry!” the girl called out, weaving through the crowd, clearly already tipsy.

Y/N’s heart skipped. That step had brought her even closer to the kitchen. And now—

“Too late,” her friend grinned, gently pushing her. “You’re halfway there.”

Y/N turned around to glare, but her friend only shrugged. “You look hot tonight. Stop overthinking it.”

Y/N swallowed, nerves buzzing under her skin. She glanced down at herself—the fitted black tank top, the skirt that hit mid-thigh, the subtle gloss on her lips. Okay. She didn’t look terrible. But still.

Before she could chicken out, Mingyu pushed off the counter.

Y/N froze. He took a few steps forward, weaving through the party without breaking eye contact. Her stomach flipped.

“Hey,” he said, voice low but audible over the music. “You just get here?”

Oh god. His voice. That deep, smooth, slightly amused tone that made everything sound like a joke he was letting her in on.

“Uh—yeah,” she managed, heat flooding her cheeks again. “Just walked in.”

He smiled. “You looked kind of like a deer in headlights. Cute though.”

Y/N let out a soft, nervous laugh. “I was… trying to decide if the house was structurally sound. It’s shaking.”

Mingyu chuckled, tipping his head. “Fair. Pretty sure the upstairs bathroom’s already out of commission.”

“That’s not comforting.”

“Neither is the guy who just took a beer bong in the bathtub.”

Y/N laughed for real this time, and his smile widened like it had been waiting for that sound.

“I’m Mingyu, by the way,” he said, though he definitely didn’t need to.

“I know,” she blurted, then immediately wanted to slam her head into a wall. “I mean—I’ve seen you around. Econ.”

“I know,” he echoed, and the smirk returned. “You sit in the third row. Always take notes with colored pens.”

“You’ve noticed that?”

“Hard not to when you keep borrowing highlighters from me.”

Y/N blinked. “You remember that?”

Mingyu nodded. “I remember you.”

There was a beat of silence. Then two.

“You wanna grab a drink?” he asked, tilting his head toward the kitchen.

She hesitated, just for a second, then nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

As they walked side by side, the crowd seemed to part a little. Or maybe it was just her pulse drowning everything else out. She glanced up at him, and he caught her looking again.

This time, he didn’t smirk. He just looked at her—calm, sure, a little curious.

And Y/N suddenly thought that maybe—just maybe—this night was going to change everything.

Soon, the friend group clustered in the living room, half-tipsy and buzzing with energy. Someone had turned the music down just enough that voices filled the space — overlapping, loud, laced with laughter. Someone else had dragged in extra chairs, but most people chose to settle onto cushions, the floor, or sprawled across each other like drunken dominos.

Y/N ended up sitting directly across from Mingyu.

The group didn’t seem to notice, too busy trying to argue over what game to play next. Elle had already taken off her heels, her feet tucked under her as she flopped sideways onto Soonyoung’s legs.Soonyoung, ever the dramatic, moaned in protest but didn’t move. Yoona passed around a half-full bottle of vodka like a sacrament. Chan was perched in the center of the group like a queen about to announce her decree.

Y/N curled her legs beneath her and accepted the red cup Elle handed her. Her fingers felt too warm around the plastic. Her skin buzzed. And she didn’t have to look up to know why.

Mingyu sat across from her, lounging with one elbow resting lazily on his bent knee, his other hand still loosely holding his cup. His dark eyes tracked across the room—but whenever they passed over her, they paused. And lingered.

He wasn’t smiling. Not like he usually did when he told loud jokes or teased Jae for being overly dramatic. No, tonight, Mingyu just watched. Quiet. Intense. His gaze didn’t waver when it landed on hers.

Y/N took a sip to ground herself, lips brushing the rim of her cup a little too slowly. She could still feel him looking. When she finally met his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitched. Barely. Like a secret only she was in on.

Across the room, Soonyoung nudged Seungkwan.

“Okay but someone better come up with a game before I start ranking all my exes from worst to absolutely-freaking-trash.”

“You already did that last week,” Seungkwan said, flipping an imaginary strand of hair over his shoulder. “You put Soobin below the guy who cheated on you and stole your oat milk.”

“Because Soobin has zero rhythm. Zero. That’s a crime on its own.”

Laughter rippled around the group, but Y/N barely registered it. Mingyu was still watching her — openly now. No more subtle glances.

She arched a brow at him over the rim of her cup, almost as if to ask What?

He tilted his head. You tell me, his eyes seemed to reply.

The whole room snapped back into focus when Elle clapped once, loud and attention-grabbing.

“Alright, babies,” she announced, clearly reveling in her chaos gremlin energy. “Truth or dare. Let’s do this.”

“Oh god, here we go,” Jae muttered, already burying his face in a throw pillow. “Elle’s drunk enough to start trauma-digging.”

“No trauma, I promise!” Elle said brightly. “Just lighthearted emotional destruction.”

Everyone groaned, laughed, cheered. Jihoon tossed an empty bottle into the center of the circle.

“Who even suggested this?” Chan asked, stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning back on his palms.

“I think it was me,” Joshua shrugged. “But, like, ironically.”

“Nothing’s ever ironic with you,” Mingyu said, his voice a low rumble that sent goosebumps down Y/N’s arms. It was the first time he’d spoken in a while.

Everyone turned to look at him. Elle raised an eyebrow.

“Wow. Look who finally speaks.”

“I was enjoying the show,” he said simply, but his eyes hadn’t left Y/N.

She flushed under the weight of it.

The group noise swelled again — teasing, laughing — but to Y/N, it all felt distant. The tension between them hummed like an invisible thread pulled taut between where they sat.

She tried to look away. She really did.

But the thing about Mingyu was that he never made it easy to escape. He didn’t do anything — didn’t speak again, didn’t smile, didn’t lean forward — but somehow, he still managed to feel like gravity.

The bottle spun once. Loud whoops followed. It hadn’t landed on either of them, but Mingyu barely glanced away.

Neither did Y/N.

Because while the group dissolved into dares and truths and confessions that drew gasps and groans — the real game, at least for now, was the one being played in silence.

Just eyes. Just him and her.

And a tension so thick it practically crackled in the air between them.

A few rounds in, the game had completely unraveled into the kind of glorious chaos only semi-drunk college students could create. Laughter echoed through the living room, drinks were half-finished or completely forgotten, and the air practically shimmered with the energy of too many confessions, too much heat, and no boundaries.

Y/N shifted slightly where she sat, her legs curled under her. Across the circle, Mingyu leaned back on one arm, fingers lazily tapping his knee. Every time she laughed at something someone said, she could feel his eyes flick back to her. And every time she glanced up—he was already looking.

His gaze didn’t move. He didn’t smile. He just watched her. Like he was waiting.

“Okay, okay,” Elle shouted over the noise, holding the bottle aloft. “Back to the game or I swear I’ll start asking real questions.”

That sobered them up a little.

“Alright,” she said, spinning the bottle dramatically. It clinked over the hardwood before landing on Jae.

He raised his hands like a guilty man surrendering.

“Let’s get it over with.”

“Dare,” Elle smirked.

He groaned, already dreading it.

“I dare you to give someone in this circle a lap dance.”

Laughter exploded instantly. Soonyoung nearly fell over. Seungkwan started drumming a rhythm on his cup like it was a strip club beat.

“You people are unwell,” Jae said, standing up anyway.

“Choose someone!” Elle grinned, clapping her hands.

Jae looked around dramatically, then sighed.

“Seungkwan, I hope you’re ready for the worst thirty seconds of your life.”

“Oh honey,” Seungkwan said, fanning himself. “Make me regret this.”

And he did. The performance was tragic, all exaggerated hip rolls and fake body rolls. The room was in hysterics by the time he collapsed back into his spot.

“Okay, okay,” Seungkwan said breathlessly, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

“My turn.”

The bottle landed on Yoona.

“Truth,” Yoona said smoothly.

“Who would you sleep with in this room if no one ever found out?”

Dead silence.

Everyone sat up a little straighter.

Yoona didn’t blink.

“Mingyu.”

That got reactions. Whoops, cheers, and one very dramatic gasp from Jae.

Y/N’s throat tightened. She didn’t even realize she’d tensed until she caught Mingyu out of the corner of her eye. He didn’t even react — just sipped his drink, eyes flicking briefly to Y/N, unreadable.

Elle was already laughing.

“Okayyy, spicy! Let’s keep it going.”

Next spin. It landed on Jihoon.

“Dare,” Jihoon said, ready for blood.

Soonyoung grinned.

“Kiss the person you’d never admit you had a thing for.”

The room tensed.

Jihoon stood, walked right past Chan and Joshua — and kissed Elle.

It wasn’t dramatic or showy. Just a quick, firm kiss that left Elle blinking and the entire group losing their minds.

“You are not okay,” Elle said, cheeks flushed.

“I’m very okay,” Jihoon smirked, sitting down again like he hadn’t just shifted the entire friend group dynamic.

“Alright,” Elle breathed, grinning like a devil. “Y/N.”

The bottle had landed on her, of course. All eyes turned.

Y/N blinked slowly. “Dare.”

Elle didn’t hesitate. “I dare you to play Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

That drew a chorus of “ooooh”s, a few dramatic gasps, and someone (probably Jae) whisper-yelling “IT’S HAPPENING.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

Elle’s grin deepened. “With… Mingyu.”

Dead. Silence.

Someone dropped their cup. Jae let out a long, drawn-out, “Holy. Shit.”

Y/N’s heart beat loud in her ears.

Across the circle, Mingyu looked… unaffected. His drink rested in his hand, the silver chain at his throat catching the light. He didn’t say anything. Just looked at her.

She cleared her throat. “Maybe that’s not fair. Like, what if he’s uncomfortable—”

“I’m not,” Mingyu said, voice low.

She blinked. “Oh.”

“I’m game if you are.”

Elle squealed. “OH. My god. Up. Now.”

“I hate you,” Y/N muttered, but Elle was already grabbing her by the wrist.

Mingyu stood slowly, every movement unhurried, smooth. He brushed past a few pillows and offered no defense. No jokes. He didn’t look embarrassed. Didn’t look cocky either.

He looked like a man who’d been waiting for this moment.

Jae shouted from the back, “Use protection!”

Yoona added, “Use your time wisely!”

“Make it worth it!” Hana yelled, raising her cup like it was a wedding toast.

Y/N wanted the floor to swallow her.

Elle ignored all of it. She had Y/N in one hand, Mingyu in the other, leading them down the dim hallway like a proud matchmaker.

As they passed the rest of the group, Yoona shouted, “SEVEN MINUTES—NOT A SECOND LESS!”

Elle pushed open the second door on the right with her hip and turned toward them with a wicked grin.

“Enjoy yourselves,” she said, backing away slowly. “We’ll be listening.”

Then she closed the door behind them.

Click.

“Have fun, lovebirds!” Elle shouted through the door, her voice muffled but smug.

The latch clicked shut. The sound echoed louder than it should’ve.

And then—silence.

The kind that wrapped around you like smoke.

Y/N didn’t move. Neither did he. The soft hum of bass-heavy music seeped through the walls, but inside the dim room, it felt like they were miles away from everything. Just the two of them. Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she forced herself to breathe slowly. To look casual.

Across the room, Mingyu stood with his hands in his pockets, shoulders relaxed, like this wasn’t completely insane. Like he hadn’t just agreed to seven uninterrupted minutes alone with her in front of all their friends.

He tilted his head slightly. “So… this is happening.”

She shrugged, arms crossed over her chest. “Looks like it.”

The corners of his mouth curled, slow and lazy. That damn smirk. It always said more than words. “Nervous?”

“Should I be?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether you’ve been thinking about this as much as I have.”

Y/N froze.

The words hung between them, weighty and soft all at once.

“You’ve been staring at me all night,” he added, voice dipping lower. “You probably thought I didn’t notice.”

She gave a short laugh. “Please. You were staring first.”

He didn’t deny it. “Maybe.”

She took a slow step forward, chin tilted. “You’re cocky.”

He didn’t flinch. Just raised a brow. “You like it.”

She pretended to consider it. “Mmm. I like watching you think I have no idea how hot you are.”

His laugh was low and genuine. “You think I don’t know?”

“I think you really like being the center of attention.”

“I wasn’t looking for attention.” He paused. “Just yours.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

There was something dangerous about the way he was looking at her—like she was both a mystery he’d already solved and a secret he couldn’t wait to open.

Her pulse quickened. She hated how warm she felt under his stare. How every inch of him seemed like it had been made to drive her insane. That chain at his collarbone. The black shirt that clung just right. The calm in his voice like he knew he had her off-balance.

“So what are we supposed to do in here?” she asked, lightly, like she didn’t already feel like combusting.

Mingyu took a step closer. Just one. But it was enough.

His gaze dropped to her lips for the briefest second before returning to her eyes. “Anything we want.”

Her stomach flipped.

“You talk like you’ve thought about this.”

“I have.”

She blinked.

“I’ve thought about what your mouth tastes like when you smile like that,” he murmured. “What you’d sound like if I kissed you right.”

Y/N’s breath caught.

“And?” she said, voice thin.

“And I’m kind of dying to find out.”

The heat spread down her neck, goosebumps prickling along her skin. She told herself to stay cool, to tease him, but he was already undoing her with just his words.

Still, she lifted her chin, letting her voice come out playfully — if slightly shaky. “Then I dare you,” she said softly, “to kiss me.”

A slow grin stretched across Mingyu’s lips. “Finally,” he murmured.

Then he stepped forward and kissed her.

Not soft. Not tentative.

It was the kind of kiss that came after too many nights of almosts. Of eyes meeting across parties and flirty inside jokes, of hands brushing accidentally-on-purpose, of imagining it a hundred different ways.

His hands found her waist like they belonged there. Her fingers fisted into his shirt, tugging him closer without thinking.

The kiss deepened — hot and needy, tasting like all the tension they’d tried to brush off.

She gasped against his mouth as he guided her back, her shoulder blades pressing gently against the wall. He kissed her like he’d been holding back. Like the last straw had snapped the moment that door shut.

His lips moved down to her jaw, then just below her ear, and she sucked in a breath, fingers tightening in his shirt.

“Mingyu,” she whispered.

He didn’t stop.

“Say that again,” he murmured, lips brushing her skin.

She shivered.

“You think I’ve been staring all night?” he whispered, voice ragged now. “You have no idea.”

Her fingers slid up into his hair, pulling slightly. His groan was low — and it only made her pull again.

“I liked it,” he added, pulling back just enough to meet her eyes. “I liked watching you try not to look at me.”

“You’re insufferable,” she muttered.

“Tell me to stop.”

She didn’t.

Instead, she kissed him again.

This one was slower. Less rushed. More dangerous.

Because it felt like it meant something.

Like it was the start of something that couldn’t be undone.

His hands slid under the hem of her top — not to push, just to feel. Her skin was hot. His touch was cooler than she expected. Her head was spinning and she didn’t care.

They kissed like they’d waited too long for this. Like they were trying to make up for every second wasted.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered the timer. The fact that in a few minutes, someone was going to knock or yell or open the door, and this spell would break. But for now…

Mingyu kissed her again — slower this time, like he had all the time in the world.

She kissed him back like they didn’t.

Like seven minutes wasn’t nearly enough.

She had seven minutes.And right now, every single second was on fire.

Mingyu’s breath was fire against her skin, every exhale like a secret whispered directly to her pulse. His hands were already at her sides, firm, confident, sliding lower with maddening slowness until they gripped her hips. He pressed her fully against the wall, one thigh slipping between hers like it belonged there.

“You’re mine for the next seven minutes,” he murmured, voice low and dangerous, the kind of tone that curled around her spine and made her stomach drop. “And I intend to make every second count.”

Y/N’s breath came in short, sharp bursts, her back arching slightly into him. She could feel the heat rolling off his body, his presence caging her in without ever feeling suffocating. No, it was addictive. Too much, not enough, all at once.

She turned her head slightly, enough to glance at him over her shoulder. Her voice was shaky, but it held a thread of defiance. “Cocky.”

Mingyu’s lips grazed the shell of her ear. “Not cocky. Certain.”

She shivered. “Of what?”

“That you want this just as much as I do.” His mouth brushed her earlobe. “Maybe more.”

She exhaled sharply, heart pounding. “You think you know everything.”

His hands slipped up, fingers tracing the curves of her waist, thumbs pressing into the small of her back. “No,” he said, voice soft and deliberate. “But I know this.”

He leaned in, slowly, until his body was flush against hers, chest to back, heat to heat. His thigh pressed more firmly between hers, nudging her legs apart. Her breath hitched.

“You’ve been driving me insane for weeks,” he continued. “Those looks? The way you bite your lip and act like you don’t notice me watching you? Every time you laugh and glance away like I don’t see it.”

His mouth dipped lower, trailing along her neck. She gasped when his teeth grazed skin, light but deliberate.

“You knew this was coming,” he said, lips brushing her pulse point now. “Didn’t you?”

She swallowed hard. Her voice came out rough. “Maybe.”

He chuckled, low and dark. “No maybe about it.”

Then he turned her.

In one fluid motion, he spun her gently but firmly, pressing her back to the wall this time. His eyes swept over her face, lingering at her lips, dark with hunger and tension and something deeper—curiosity, maybe. Like he was memorizing her in real time.

“I’ve thought about this,” he admitted, his hands settling on her thighs. “What you’d look like like this. All flushed, breathless. Mine.”

“You act like you already own me,” she whispered.

Mingyu’s lips brushed hers without fully kissing her. “Don’t I?”

Y/N stared at him, heart thudding violently. Her hands fisted into his shirt. “Prove it.”

He smirked, the tension between them sparking like static.

Then he dropped his head and kissed her—really kissed her.

It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t careful.

It was full of pent-up tension, slow-burning frustration, and raw, hungry want. He kissed her like he was starving and she was the only thing he’d ever craved. Her body melted into his, hands tangling in his hair as she kissed him back, matching his intensity beat for beat.

When they broke apart, both breathless, he rested his forehead against hers.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he murmured.

“Then stop talking,” she whispered, “and do something about it.”

A growl built in his throat as he dropped to his knees in front of her. She gasped, her hand flying to his shoulder for balance as he ran his hands up her legs, slow and reverent. Her skirt hitched up easily under his touch, the air cool against her skin.

“This—” he said, gripping her thigh firmly and lifting it over his shoulder, “—is dangerous.”

Her breathing was shallow now, hands in his hair, thighs tightening around him.

His lips grazed the inside of her thigh, trailing kisses that made her legs shake. “You’re shaking,” he whispered, almost teasing.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re irresistible.”

He rose again suddenly, gripping her wrists and pinning them gently above her head. The movement was smooth, practiced. Her breath caught at the shift, the way his body fully claimed hers without crossing any lines—he was in control, but only because she let him.

Their eyes locked. “Say the word,” he whispered. “Tell me you want this too.”

Y/N stared up at him, chest heaving. Then, in a voice that was all fire and surrender, she said, “I want this.”

He kissed her again—deeper this time, hungrier, his body pressing hers harder into the wall. One hand slid down to her hip, the other slipping between her thighs, slow and purposeful. His fingers hooked into her panties, dragging them down in agonizing, teasing inches.

“Look at you,” he whispered, his voice a low growl. “So wet already. For me.”

Her head fell back against the wall, a sound leaving her lips that was equal parts surprise and pleasure as his fingers teased her slick heat.

“Touch me,” she begged, voice barely audible.

He lifted his head, eyes dark. “Like this?” he murmured, running a finger between her folds—soft, slow, then with pressure that made her cry out softly.

Her hips rolled into his hand instinctively.

“God, you’re perfect,” he said, kissing her jaw, her throat. “All of this? Mine. Tonight.”

You shiver. Then—one finger. Then two. Sliding in, curling, stroking.

Your hips jerk instinctively, breath catching as he finds that perfect spot too easily, like he’s memorized you already. His touch is confident—devastating. Each movement is deliberate. Calculated.

Your legs tremble, muscles tightening as your head falls back against the wall. Mingyu’s free hand wraps firmly around your waist, anchoring you in place, keeping you exactly where he wants you.

“You feel that?” he murmurs against your neck, voice rich and low, the sound alone enough to make you ache. “How your body reacts to me?”

You manage the softest sound—half gasp, half whimper—and it only seems to spur him on.

“I’m going to make you cum like this first,” he whispers, lips brushing the sensitive skin just below your ear. “Then I’m going to fuck you—slow, deep, until you’re gasping my name.”

Your breath stutters, caught in your throat. You try to speak, to say something, but nothing comes out. Just the broken sound of want.

He chuckles, low and rough, the sound vibrating through your chest. “You like being teased, don’t you?”

You nod, just barely. It’s all you can manage. Your hands clutch the front of his shirt, wrinkling the fabric as your knees threaten to give out beneath you.

“Good,” he says, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, slow and hot. “Because I’m not done with you yet.”

Then it hits.

You come hard on his fingers, your body arching off the wall, a sharp gasp ripping from your lips as everything inside you clenche around him. Your vision blurs. Legs shake. And Mingyu just watches. Watch you fall apart for him, wearing that same maddening smirk he’s had all night—the one that says he knew this would happen from the second you walked into the room.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, withdrawing his fingers with slow, teasing precision. He holds your gaze as he lifts them to his lips and sucks one clean. “Knew you’d be like this.”

You’re still catching your breath, still blinking through the haze of your high, when his fingers move to the button of his jeans. One flick. Then the zipper. And he pushes them down just far enough—just enough to make your breath hitch again.

He’s already hard. Already waiting.

“Still quiet?” he asks, his voice velvet over steel.

You find your voice—barely. “Trying to figure out what’s bigger—your ego, or…”

His smirk sharpens. “You’ll find out.”

“Seven minutes,” he said, eyes dark with challenge. “Let’s see how many times I can make you fall apart before time’s up.” You smirked, breathless but bold. “You talk a big game, Mingyu.” He grabbed your waist and spun you around, guiding you onto the bed with a cocky laugh. “You started it, sweetheart.”

You let him position you, his grip strong on your thighs, spreading you open beneath him like he’d dreamed of doing it a hundred times. He hovered just above, his mouth a breath away from yours, eyes flicking over your flushed face, your parted lips.

“You think you’re the first guy to say that?” you said, a breathy taunt, even as your chest heaved.

He stilled for half a second. Then a slow grin curled across his face—dangerous and devastating.

“No,” he muttered, voice low as sin, “but I’ll be the one you remember.”

And then he pushed in—slow, deep, devastating and he was inside you

Your mouth fell open in a gasp soundless moan, back arching, a breathy curse escaping you. The stretch made your thighs quiver, a delicious ache settling deep in your belly.

“Fuck,” you breathed. “Okay… point proven.”

Mingyu leaned down, lips brushing your ear, his voice thick and rough. “That’s it? No more snark?”

You wrapped your legs around his waist and dragged your nails lightly down his back, breath hitching. “Didn’t want to throw you off your game. I assumed you needed quiet to focus.”

He growled a laugh—deep, low, and full of heat. “You think this is me focusing?”

His hips rolled harder, pushing deeper, and your breath stuttered. You moaned loudly and answer

“You’re cocky,” you murmured, lips brushing his jaw.

“You love it,” he fired back, thrusting again.

Your body rocked with him, the friction building like fire beneath your skin. “I like watching you try to impress me.”

“I like watching you fall apart,” he rasped, grinding his hips in a way that made your toes curl.

He dipped his head to your neck, dragging his lips along your pulse, where it beat wild and fast. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

His hand slid up your side, fingertips skimming just under your top, and when your hips met his in rhythm, his breath caught.

“You’ve got…” you smirked against his skin, voice breathless, “like five minutes left.”

He rolled his hips, angled just right, and you moaned again—louder. “Then I better make it count,” he said, watching you come undone beneath him. “Say my name.” You bit your lip. “Make me.” His eyes flashed, and he grinned like he was about to ruin you—in the best possible way.

He grabs your hips and snaps into you harder. “Fuck, the way you squeeze around me—like you were made for this.”

You throw your head back against the pillow, a moan slipping past your lips before you can stop it.He leans down, lips ghosting over your jaw. “Look at you,” he whispers. “So cocky earlier. Now you’re moaning like you need me.”

Your eyes meet his, blazing. “I do need you,” you pant, voice breathless but challenging.

“Just not sure you can finish the job in time.” That lights something in him. “Oh, baby,” Mingyu laughs darkly, “I’m going to ruin you in four minutes flat.” He lifts one of your legs onto his shoulder and thrusts deeper—hard, rhythmic, relentless.

“Feel that?” he rasps. “That’s me splitting you open. Taking what’s mine.” You claw at his back, eyes fluttering shut. “Harder.” He obeys instantly. You moan out aloud

“You like being used like this, don’t you?Like the slut you are” he groans. “You like me fucking you full in some random bedroom while our friends wait outside?”

“Say it,” he demanded, voice low and commanding, as his hand slid to your jaw, tilting your face toward his. “I want to hear from you.”

“Yes,” you moan, voice wrecked. “You’re dripping for me,” he snarls against your throat. “So damn wet—like your body knew what was coming the second we walked in here.” as he grabs your breast, squeezing firmly as his thrusts grow harder, rougher—each movement making your body jolt beneath him

Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging hard enough to draw a growl from deep in his throat. His lips brush over your neck, your collarbone, anywhere he can reach as you arch into him.

“Shut up and make me cum again,” you snap, breathless but cocky, the edge in your voice sharp despite how wrecked you already feel.

His breath stutters, the challenge lighting something feral in his eyes. “Oh, I will,” he murmurs, voice rough and low, like it’s scraping from somewhere deep inside him. “But you’re not walking out of here without begging for it first.”

The arrogance in his tone makes heat bloom low in your stomach. “Then make me beg, Mingyu. If you think you’ve earned it.”

That did it. His jaw clenched, a low growl vibrating from his chest as his hips snapped forward, rough and unrelenting. The pace shifted—no longer slow and teasing, but fierce, almost punishing.

“I’ll fuck you until you forget your name,” he ground out, breath hot against your skin.

Your breath stuttered, caught between a gasp and a moan, pleasure blooming in your veins. “I’ll scream yours instead.”

“Good,” he hissed, leaning in until your foreheads touched, his eyes dark and focused entirely on you. “Because that’s all I want to hear for the next—” he threw a glance at the door, sweat glistening at his temple, “—two minutes.”

You bit your lip, heart hammering. Every nerve ending was lit up, your body thrumming under his touch, his weight, his voice. “Then what are you waiting for?”

“You’re going to remember this,” he growled, one hand tangling in your hair, the other gripping your waist tight. “Every time you try to flirt with someone else.”

You opened your mouth, ready to fire back, but all that came out was a strangled moan as his hips snapped forward again, perfectly timed, perfectly cruel.

He smiled into your neck. “That’s what I thought.”

His grin spread slow and dangerous, that same wicked fire gleaming in his eyes—the one he’d had the second he saw you across the room. The one that said he’d been waiting for this just as long as you had.

He adjusted his grip on your hips, grounding you harder beneath him as he picked up the rhythm again, his breath ragged now too. Your head fell back against the pillows, the only thing anchoring you to the moment was the sound of his skin against yours, your breathing tangled, bodies moving like they’d done this a thousand times in their heads.

Everything outside that room ceased to exist.

“For you,” he says, voice rough and low, thrusting even deeper. “To break.”

Your nails raked down his chest, dragging over every slick line of muscle. His shirt had vanished somewhere in the chaos, and now your hands were greedy — exploring the sweat-slick heat of his body, the flex of his abs each time he drove into you with bruising force.

He was all tension and power above you, and still, you couldn’t stop touching him — couldn’t get enough of the way his skin burned under your fingertips, or the way his breath stuttered when you reached lower, gripping his hips to pull him even closer.

“God, you feel so good,” you moaned, head falling back, voice unraveling. “So fucking perfect—everywhere.”

He groaned at that, the sound ripped from somewhere deep in his chest. His rhythm faltered for just a second — then returned, harder, more urgent. His hands held you tighter now, like he needed to keep you grounded or he might fall apart himself.

“You like touching me that much?” he rasped, his voice frayed, wrecked in the best way.

You nodded, unable to find words at first, just your lips parting in a gasp as you looked up at him. “Can’t help it,” you whispered, chest rising and falling fast. “You look like sin and feel like heaven.”

That earned a breathless laugh from him, barely more than a puff of air before it twisted into a moan as your body clenched around him, heat pulsing. You were close—so close it hurt.

“I’m gonna cum,” you gasped, fingers digging into his back as your body arched toward him. “Fuck—Mingyu, I’m gonna—”

His mouth was on your neck in an instant, lips dragging hot along your skin, hips snapping into yours with relentless rhythm. “Then cum for me,” he growled, one hand sliding to your thigh, gripping it like a lifeline. “Let go. Right here. On me.”

His pace never broke, even as your body began to tremble. The sounds between you grew louder—breaths, gasps, the distant thump of music outside forgotten as you shattered beneath him. And he held you through every second of it, like he’d been waiting to watch you fall apart just for him.

You choked out his name, legs tightening around him as your body shook again, the orgasm hitting hard and fast — blinding. But he didn’t stop.

“Fuck,” he hissed, voice breaking. “I’m close—fuck, I’m gonna cum.” You barely had time to respond before he said it — low, desperate, possessive: “I’m gonna cum inside.”

Your eyes snapped open, heart thudding. His grip tightened on your waist. “I’m not leaving,” he said through clenched teeth, thrusts getting sloppy, erratic.

“Not until I’m buried so deep inside you, you’ll feel me even after I’m gone.” You moaned in response, dizzy from everything — the heat, his words, the overwhelming pleasure.

“You want that?” he asked, voice ragged. “You want me to fill you up?”

“Yes—fuck, yes.”

“Then take it like the fucking cum desperate whore you are” he growled

His head dropped to your shoulder as he groaned your name, hips jerking once, twice, and then he stilled — body trembling as he spilled into you, breath catching in his throat.

A soft, broken sound escaped him — somewhere between a moan and a gasp — as he held you tighter, like letting go would unravel him completely. Your fingers dug into his back, desperate to anchor yourself, to feel every pulse of him, every wave of heat.

Silence settled between you for a second. Heavy. Intimate. Charged.

His skin was damp against yours, chest heaving, heart racing. You could feel it — the aftershocks in his body, the quiet vulnerability in the way he stayed pressed against you, unmoving.

Neither of you spoke.

There was nothing to say — not yet. Only breath. Only heat.

His hand slid up your spine slowly, deliberately, until it cradled the back of your neck. “Fuck,” he whispered, voice hoarse. “You drive me insane.”

And then, just beyond the door, someone called out:

“Time’s up!”

You both froze, breath tangled, bodies still pressed too close, the heat between you crackling like static. His forehead rested against yours, both of you panting, wrecked.

Mingyu grinned first — wild, breathless, his lips kiss-bruised and eyes still dark with want.

“Shame,” he muttered, cocking his head like he already missed your body. “I was just getting started.”

The door creaked open, and he stepped out first, running a hand through his mess of hair, his shirt buttoned in all the wrong places. He didn’t even bother pretending — just walked out like he owned the room and everything that happened in it. Like he’d just walked off a victory stage.

You followed a few seconds later, skirt tugged hastily down, fingers still trembling. Every nerve in your body felt overstimulated, your lips swollen, thighs shaky. You could feel it — the evidence of him, of what he’d done to you — with every single step.

Elle stood outside, arms crossed and smirking like she’d just won a bet.

“So,” she said, drawing the word out, eyes flicking between you and Mingyu. “Did you two… have a good chat?”

Mingyu shot her a wink, smug as ever.

“Productive.”

You glared at her, trying not to trip over your own damn legs or give away just how thoroughly ruined you were.

“Elle, I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” She looped her arm through yours with way too much glee. “You’re glowing. Like, post-orgasm glowing.”

Your jaw dropped.

“Elle!”

Behind you, Mingyu chuckled — deep, amused, far too satisfied with himself.

“She’s not wrong.”

You turned sharply, cheeks burning, and gave him a look meant to kill.

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

He didn’t miss a beat. Took one step closer, leaned down until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. His voice was low — all silk and sin.

“I enjoyed you, baby. That’s different.”

Your breath caught.

Goddamn him.

Your body still responded to him like it hadn’t just spent the last seven minutes being kissed senseless, touched like worship, fucked like a secret. Your skin prickled under his gaze, your knees still not fully recovered.

And worse? He knew.

His smirk deepened as he straightened, eyes trailing lazily down your body like he could still feel you under his fingertips.

“See you out there.” He turned and walked away — swagger in every step.

Elle whistled low under her breath.

“You know what’s worse than watching you fall for him?” she muttered. “Watching you pretend you’re not.”

You didn’t answer.

Because you weren’t ready to admit she was right.

Not yet.

But god — the ache between your thighs and the way your heart raced at the thought of round two said it all.

You and Elle walked ahead, arm in arm, though she was doing most of the walking — you were still recovering, legs wobbly and traitorous beneath you.

From behind, you could feel Mingyu’s eyes on you. That lazy heat that made your skin tingle like you were still in that closet, still pressed against the wall, still moaning his name with his hand over your mouth. You hated how easily he lingered — in your mind, on your skin, in your pulse.

“Stop thinking about it,” Elle whispered, nudging you.

You blinked. “I’m not.”

She raised a brow. “Your pupils are dilated, your thighs are clenched, and you’ve got that ‘I’ve just been devoured alive’ look. Babe. Please.”

Before you could shoot back something clever, you reached the group — gathered around the back patio, drinks in hand, mid-laugh. And the second they spotted you and Mingyu trailing behind like you hadn’t just committed multiple sins in a dark room — the grins started forming.

“Well, well, well,” Jihoon said, holding up his drink like a toast. “If it isn’t Mr. and Mrs. Closet.”

“Took you long enough,” Seungkwan added, eyes dancing. “We thought maybe you’d moved in there permanently.”

“Should we decorate it for them?” Hana chimed in sweetly, swirling her drink. “Maybe add a little bed, a snack drawer… mood lighting?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to downplay the heat in your face.

“It was seven minutes. Not a lifetime.”

“Seven legendary minutes, apparently,” Soonyoung said, hand to his chest like he was personally affected. “Elle said you came out glowing like a Twilight vampire.”

You turned to Elle, horrified.

“You’re the devil.”

“A supportive devil,” she said brightly. “I’m just proud.”

Yoona raised her glass in your direction. “Honestly? Good for you. Closet sex? Bold. Iconic. Unstable, but iconic.”

Mingyu finally joined you, sliding into the circle like he hadn’t just wrecked you against a supply closet door. Hair still a mess. Shirt still barely together. Confidence radiating off him like second nature.

He took one look around, then grinned.

“Miss me?”

“You didn’t even fix your shirt, bro,” Chan pointed out.

“Didn’t have time,” Mingyu said with a shrug, not even trying to act humble. He looked at you.

“Some of us were busy.”

Groans and laughter erupted. Someone — probably Joshua — fake-gagged.

“God, you’re insufferable,” you muttered under your breath.

Mingyu leaned closer, voice just low enough for you to hear.

“You didn’t think that when you were begging me to go slower.”

Your eyes widened.

“Mingyu—”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t tease,” he said, smirking.

You turned sharply, grabbing the nearest cup of something — anything — to cool your face, your heart, your entire existence.

And then you heard Soonyoung yell,

“Let’s take a shot for the happy couple!”

“We’re not a couple!” you and Mingyu said at the same time.

The group just laughed harder.

“Sure,” Jihoon deadpanned. “You’re just two friends who happened to have the most sexually charged game of Seven Minutes in Heaven we’ve ever witnessed.”

“I mean,” Yoona added with a grin, “they walked out looking like a deleted scene from a very explicit K-drama.”

“I’d watch that show,” Hana nodded seriously. “Season one finale: supply closet confessionals.”

You groaned. Mingyu wrapped an arm casually around your waist — for show, you told yourself. Just for show.

But the way his thumb stroked your hip? That wasn’t just anything.

Neither was the way he leaned down again, voice soft and smug.

“Round two later?”

And the worst part?

You didn’t even hesitate before whispering back:

“Yes.”

Hey tumblr 💗!

This one’s a Seventeen one-shot featuring none other than Mingyu—because let’s be real, he’s perfect for college AU smut, and I couldn’t resist. 😏

Originally, I did plan on turning this into a series, but honestly? I just wanted to get this story out of my head and into your hands. So here it is—messy, hot, and unapologetically smutty.

Feel free to drop any thoughts, suggestions, or thirst-fueled questions in the ask box. I love hearing from you!

As always, reblogs, comments, and virtual kisses keep me going 💋 Thank you so much for reading 🥰❤️

With love,

xo, Ario

[pedgito]

ORBIT YOU ⋆⭒˚.⋆ CHAPTER ONE: MOON

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summary — back in austin for an impromptu camping trip with your father and his best friend, you find that so much has changed, and not just in your relationship with your father, but with joel, too.

author's note — i've been missing my main dbf man and this started out as mainly smut but gained some plot. this man is exceptionally freaky and i love him

content warning — 18+ MDNI, dbf!joel, virgin!reader, age gap (20s/40s), camping trips, established dynamics, voyeurism, sexual activities in public, dry humping, inappropriate use of a sleeping bag, tent sharing, tension/angst, mutual masturbation, joel having copious inappropriate thoughts, this man loves eye contact

word count — 9.6k

It was as if speaking plainly was impossible.

“You know, the chickens have fled the roost so to speak,” Your father explains, slapping his sandwich together with an audible squelch as the mustard oozed out the side, “I ain’t dealing with your mother’s shit anymore either, there’s somethin’ for both of us to celebrate.”

“The girls moved out, just say that,” You translate, eyes rolling in tired amusement as you pick at your own sandwich and munch on the salty but mostly unflavoured chips, “ and it sounds like I’ll be intruding.”

“Couldn’t possibly, sweetheart,” He assures with a warm smile before taking a hefty bite out of the sandwich, sighing in delight.

He was laying it on thick right now.

“Don’t you ever think about how Joel is the catalyst to you and mom separating?” You ask curiously, “Or how you refused to believe me when I told you the first time?”

“I wasn’t being the best husband to your ma,” He admits, amongst other things, “I was tryin’ to make up for my own shortcomings, but with Joel—he was just wrong place, wrong time,”

“Or right time,” You counter, shrugging.

You hadn’t spoken to your mother since you left for college two years ago, making it through your entire freshman and sophomore year of school without a word and still, nothing. From one family to the next, the eventual expectancy that she would tire of the next one, but that wasn’t your business.

“I’m trying to make up for things,” He continues, ignoring your quip, “and I’m not wasting a week of nice weather inside.”

Things, you think with a flippant retort you bite your tongue over.

The countless days you had no one to rely on but yourself—but more obviously, Joel.

You watched Sarah and Ellie for months while he worked long hours, odd hours. It was like a sleepover, really. But, it lessened some of the burden knowing he had someone keeping a watchful eye on his girls and in turn, he picked up the slack where your dad had disappeared.

That was all it was—a genuine care for the well-being of one another and then when the situation between your parents grew more and more complicated, you disappeared.

He hadn’t spoken to you since you were seventeen, other than the few odd glimpses when he would catch you throwing out the trash while he was coming home from a long shift and an obvious absence of words or glances on your end.

Knock, knock, knock.

It’s so rhythmic and firm that you recognize it instantly.

“Joel,” You already knew, but your father confirms it.

You can hear the heavy step of his boots before you see him and your chest tightens, suddenly feeling claustrophobic as you pick at the flakes of bread on the napkin and listen to the quiet chatter of the two men before his voice creeps into the kitchen.

"Well, I'll be damned," he says softly. "Look who's back in town."

You force yourself to look up, meeting his weathered face and piercing eyes. 

He looks older than you remember, more lines etched into his features and his hair more grey than the last time you saw him and extending toward the edges of his beard, but still unmistakably Joel. 

He’s tanned from the kiss of sun, a slight sunburn to his nose from working outside as the grey fabric of his shirt stretches over his thick biceps, even thicker thighs filling out his jeans. And you realize as time drags on that you’ve never spent so much time examining so much of him, your gaze was lingering just as much as his own before your father tears the fleeting moment to shreds, clearing your throat to break the tension.

“I already packed my stuff in the car,” You tell your dad, before offering a dismissive, “Hey,” at Joel to mask how cornered you felt at the moment, avoiding his eyeline at all costs.

“Great,” He cheers, clapping his hands together once, “Joel, you ready?”

“Yeah ‘m all packed up in my truck and I’ll follow behind.”

“Oh, honey—did you wanna ride down in Joel’s truck? I know that little Nissan drives you crazy since you can’t sit still—”

“Well—he—he didn’t offer,”

He didn’t need to—you’d always been welcome. It had become a second home for a while. 

“I don’t mind,” He shrugs, arms crossing over his chest as he shifts to lean against the open frame of the kitchen, “and I got the good music, no silly ass showtunes.”

Sweetening the deal, isn’t he?

Fine, since he was dangling the line so enticingly.

You’ll bite.

–

The summer heat hits you like a wall as you step outside. Joel's truck sits in the driveway, a hulking beast of metal and chrome that breathes an air of familiarity into your chest. 

Late nights home from practices, missed buses on mornings when you were running late and Joel was on his way out the door for work and the many supplied meals when your parents were too busy arguing to cook dinner. 

He opens the passenger door for you, and you climb in, the leather seat hot against your thighs.

Joel never forgot to be a gentleman. It was a stark difference from the empty-headed frat boys you’ve become used to, all honk and no help. You had one good date the entire year you were at college and it was with a professor in a diner out of town with the reality that you could both be spotted and reported to the dean, but he’d been careful. He cared.

But, it was once. No more.

Though, it has cemented your taste in men.

Unfortunately for Joel, he was a perfect match for you now.

You ignore the way the gesture makes your heart flutter against your ribcage.

As Joel settles into the driver's seat, you're acutely aware of his presence beside you. The cab of the truck feels smaller than it should, and you press yourself against the door, trying to put as much space between you as possible.

Wordlessly, he grabs the box of old cassettes and presses them into your lap as he starts the truck and it coughs and sputters to life, pulling slowly out of the driveway as he follows behind your dad, watching as you filter through the old tapes like you used to, picking your particular flavor of tune for the drive.

“So,” Joel beings after a long growing silence and a chunk of time on the road as your cross one leg over the other and stare quietly out the window, feeling lost on how to approach the situation as you’ve clearly grown and changed, a similar pinched expression that both his daughter’s carried when they were bothered or annoyed, all in the brow and drawn together, your fingers scratching absently where you were gripping your bicep, “how’s college been treatin’ you?”

Your last conversation had been the weekend before senior year of high school, something nonsensical and forgettable, but it was amongst your life imploding and Joel was tied up with work more often that he liked.

He had only tried to remind you that his house was home too, even if it was just for an hour or a night.

“Fine. I’m not gonna sit here and bore you to death with astrophysics so don’t ask,” You quip with a subtle smile, “If my dad can’t keep up I know you sure as hell can’t.”

“Is that an age joke?” Joel asks genuinely.

“I dunno, gramps,” You shrug, “is the moon round?”

It was rhetorical, right? Joel chuckles at how easily you fall back into your old banter.

“It’s not,” You tell him, “just so you know.”

Joel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "The moon's not round? Since when?"

You can't help but laugh at his bewildered expression.

 "It's actually slightly egg-shaped. Technically, it's an oblate spheroid."

"Well, I'll be damned," Joel mutters, shaking his head. "Learn something new every day. Guess they're teaching you all sorts of fancy things at that college of yours."

The tension in the truck eases a bit as you fall into a comfortable silence. 

You can’t ignore how his rugged features entice like no other, facial hair freshly trimmed and his hair slightly longer than what you’re used to, noticing the natural curl to his ends, beautiful hues of brown mixed in with an aged grey. 

You chew at your cheek and ignore how quickly things could go sideways if he caught you staring, forcing you to suffer through a weekend of awkwardness.

You fiddle with the cassettes, finally selecting one and popping it into the ancient tape deck. The opening chords of Mary Jane’s Last Dance fill the cab, and Joel taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the beat. Tom Petty was a staple of late night drives with Joel and it easily transports you back to moments souring down empty roads singing your lungs out alongside a man who had become like a second father to you back then.

Though, that was clearly not the case anymore. Still vehemently aware of the strain of his neck as he looked out the rearview mirror or the way his hand stretched over his denim-clad thigh when the ache in his fingers returned from gripping the steering wheel for too long.

“You know he’s only been camping once, right?” You ask Joel, his nod almost instantly.

“S’probably why he asked me to come along, that and he loves to remind me how lonely I am.”

“Are you?” Your eyes are wide and curious when you peer over, making him do a double-take.

Get your fuckin’ mind right, Joel. 

He shrugs and turns away, eyeing the road again.

“It has to be weird, not having Ellie and Sarah around, those two are—”

“Handfuls,” He finishes for you, “It’s a different feelin’, I guess. I ain’t lonely, but it feels more like…”

“No purpose?”

You’d hit the nail on the head.

“Yeah, kiddo.”

The somberness of it is a shift you don’t like, staring down at the fabric of your dress resting midway between your thighs, running your fingers along the stitched edge before you hit him with a question that has been bothering you for a long, long time.

There was no better opportunity than now, cornered.

“How did you end up in the house that night anyways?” You ask, “My dad won’t tell me shit.”

Joel knows exactly what you’re talking about.

The comeuppance of your mother.

“I was grabbin’ some parts to work on that piece of shit mower I still got,” He explains, rolling with the punches of your hard hitting questions, “Ain’t much about it, found ‘em in the kitchen and your mom had a big meltdown, she clocked me pretty good, too.”

“She thought dad set her up, didn’t she?”

“I dunno,” He shrugs, “Made me feel like shit for a while—”

“Why?” You interact before he can finish, though most of it was a blur now.

“You got real quiet—I didn’t see you much after that and I’ll be honest, thought you hated me for a good while and then some,” He explains, the song nearing its end as the truck fades to silence.

“It’s not like you were fucking my mom or something,” You respond crudely and it was a strange way to hear you speak for a brief moment before Joel realizes he’s not sitting next to a young girl anymore—you were all grown-up and sure of yourself, confident in the way you spoke to him now that the initial awkwardness had fled, “were you?”

Joel balks at your question and shakes his head in amusement.

“‘Course fuckin’ not—the lady was a whole mess of issues I wouldn’t touch with a fifty foot pole.”

It took three years for them to fully finalize the divorce. 

It brought you to now. Twenty and living on your own, crippled by abandonment issues and desperate attention seeking problems that even you wouldn’t address.

And Joel was always good at giving you his undivided attention.

At least, he used to be.

You nod, a wry smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah, I figured. Just had to ask, you know?"

“She did try, long…long time ago,” Joel slips in as the campsite comes into view after a long stretch of silence, “but I very politely declined and shut my mouth about it.”

The admission makes you grimace and Joel can only chuckle.

–

“I’m sorry,” You stress for the tenth time as your father rifles through his trunk, tossing his tent to the floor but yours was blatantly absent.

You could have sworn…

“I brought my double for more room,” Joel interrupts the very awkward stand-off between you and your father, unspoken and unresolved tension that he wasn’t trying to insert himself in, “I can take that one and you both are more than welcome to—”

“No,” You respond, a sudden decisiveness to your voice, “I’ll share with you.”

“I think it’d be easier if you and your dad—”

The idea of sharing a tent with your father and his insistent snoring. 

Absolutely the fuck not.

“Or I’m sleeping in the truck,” You decide.

“I’m sorry ‘bout her,” Your dad apologizes as he drops another box into the dirt.

“Oh, she’s alright,” Joel assures, “I guess I don’t mind sharin’.”

“Perfect, problem fucking solved.” You gripe before plucking your swimsuit from your bag and disappearing into the outhouse building a couple minutes down the path and Joel watches you storm off.

"She's always been headstrong," your dad mutters, more to himself than to Joel. "Gets it from her mother, I reckon."

Joel nods, unsure of how to respond. 

He busies himself with setting up the tent, stealing glances down the path where you disappeared. The tension in the air is palpable, and he can't help but feel caught in the middle of something he doesn't fully understand.

As he hammers the last stake into the ground, he hears your footsteps approaching. You've changed into your swimsuit, a towel draped over your shoulder. His throat swells at the sight as easily as his cock in his jeans, sweating worse than a sinner in church even under the sticky, summer sun. 

It’s just a two-piece bikini, charcoal in color and clinging to your skin, the threads of string digging into your hips where they were tied in tight bows and Joel has to force his gaze away.

Your eyes are red-rimmed from crying, but your chin is lifted defiantly. 

Joel fears he may have been the reason.

That and a mix of your father.

“I’m going for a swim,” You announce, slipping off your sandals and tossing your discarded clothes on the dirt floor next to the freshly constructed tent, a wordless and dry-mouthed Joel licking desperately at his lips as he realizes you aren’t talking to him, but your father, his eyes trailing now dangerously to your backside as the fabric digs into the plumpness of your ass and makes it crease, the subtle curve of your cheeks pinching as you lean to one hip, awaiting any type of response from your father.

It’s revealing, provocative, and nothing he’s seen you in before and if he was your father—

But, he’s not. 

He’s not.

All you get is a huff of acknowledgement from your father as he’s buried himself into the trunk of the car again.

It was clear that even with your mother out of the picture that things wouldn’t change. Always talking through you, never at you, never concerned with school or your interests. It felt stupid, emotional over something so feeble and otherwise meaningless to most. 

You glance over your shoulder and catch Joel’s quickly averting gaze, the heavy weight of his stare crawling up your spine and lingering on your ass a few seconds, his face reddens over you catching him in the act but brushes it off as him being nosey, like watching the exchange between you and your father for too long.

Joel watches you float for an hour, tearing through a few beers in the process alongside your father before he comendeers the grill for dinner, bothering Joel for a favor as your father nods toward you in the water.

It was peaceful, too. The soft hum of birds flying north for the summer and the smell of slowly cooking meat, suddenly disturbed by water being splashed at your face and your head snapping to the side out of annoyance, peeking through one eye under the sunset.

The culprit? 

A foot, eyes dragging up toward the owner. 

Joel stands there, ankle-deep in the cool water, his jeans rolled up halfway to his shins. He looks sheepish, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. "Your dad asked me to come get you. Dinner's almost ready."

You consider splashing him back but decide against it. Instead, you start wading toward the shore with a sigh, water dripping from your skin. Joel's eyes widen slightly as he takes in your form, backlit by the setting sun. He quickly averts his gaze, clearing his throat.

"Here," he says, offering you a towel he'd brought down. You try to maintain your aloof demeanor, but your body betrays you with a shiver that has nothing to do with the cool water.

"I was enjoying the peace and quiet," you reply, attempting to sound annoyed.

“We’re fishin’ tomorrow, that’ll be plenty of quiet for you,” Joel supplies, nodding toward the growing pile of food on the picnic table, “I’m not gonna pry, s’not my business.”

“I’m not asking you to,” You defend, snatching the towel with your fingertips rubbing against his palm in the process, stretching the towel over your shoulders as it pushes your breasts out, silently amused as you careful examine the way Joel’s eyes squint under the summer sun and avert.

"You're not subtle either, Joel," you tease, a smugness playing at the corners of your mouth while you try to keep a straight face. 

Joel's cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink, though he tries to play it cool.

"Don't know what you're talkin' about," he mumbles, taking a long swig of his beer.

You step closer, invading his personal space. The scent of his cologne mingles with the crisp lake air. "Oh, I think you do," you whisper, “it’s alright, you know—I don’t mind.”

You were nothing like that young girl he used to know.

Joel swallows hard.

For a moment, you think he might admit that he’s noticed the differences about you; confrontational, confident, but still seeking something you couldn’t attain on your own.

Then your father's voice booms across the beach, shattering the moment.

"Food's gettin' cold! You two comin’?"

Assuredly, one of you would.

–

He’s thanking his lucky stars he picked a roomier tent, not out of benefit to you and the fact you were sleeping soundly beside him, but that he had enough room to keep a safe distance from your inability to stay still, wiggling and shifting in your sleep like a restless little weasel.

He can hear the rolling sounds of your father’s snores from the other tent as he leans up on his hand, attempting to shift the blanket back over your frame where it had slipped down before he’s carefully shoving the extra pillow he’d brought between you and him, punching the fabric into submission and molding his hand around it to shape before he feels the incidental touch of your ass against his knuckles.

Right, so much for space.

Even in the poor moonlight he can spot the shorts clinging so tightly to your skin that the side have shifted high enough up your hips that if he wanted to—and lord, he could—slip his fingers between your legs and along the fabric, assuring himself an immediate trip to the gates of hell.

Joel’s not sure where he lost his mind, whether it was the moment he spotted you back home or as you spoke to him so boldly earlier and called him out, or now, actively watching your legs separate as you rolled to your stomach and hiked your knee up slightly, shifting the blanket away again. 

He's drawing the line here.

–

Though, he’s even more distracted as you’re perched on your knees in front of him the following morning, picking through the bait as you trade off between him and your father, forcing yourself to participate despite your distaste for the activity and the flashing NO SIGNAL on your phone every time you glanced at it.

You lean forward off the dock and rinse the dirt from your fingers and into the lake. Joel can't help but notice how your shirt rides up as you lean forward, exposing a sliver of skin at your lower back. His eyes trace the curve of your spine, lingering a moment too long before he forces himself to look away. Fearful that your father might catch his eyeline and see him ogling his daughter, but he pays neither of you any attention, eyes fixed on a spot out in the lake as you attempt to hand Joel another wriggling worm when the fish snaps the other off the line for the fifth time.

“Are you sure you’re putting it on there correctly?” You ask out of concern, watching him reel in the line with a frustrated grimace, glancing over at your absent-minded father once more.

“You wanna try?” He snips, quickly realizing how his voice came across and the way your shoulders sink, then he softens his tone, “Do you—wanna…”

“I don’t know how,” You admit, watching the worm wiggle in Joel’s palm.

“Your daddy never taught you?” He asks aloud, loud enough that it snags your father’s attention and he chuckles dismissively.

“Kid hates the outdoors,” You father adds insubstantially, your eyes dragging to his back as he leans forward in the creaky chair as he gets a bite, “it’s a wonder she said yes to any of this.”

It didn’t matter that he was wrong, because he was always wrong.

Joel knew how much you loved being outside, how often he would find you laying in the grass with Sarah and Ellie, staring up at the stars and pointing out the different constellations, a never-ending faucet of information that had bled into your interests at college,

“I gotcha,” Joel quips, attempting to pull your attention back to him.

You're focused intently on the task at hand, your nose scrunched up in slight disgust as you handle the slimy bait. He finds it oddly endearing, the way you're pushing through your discomfort to be part of this bonding activity that you could clearly give less of a shit about.

You were trying and your father didn’t care, but Joel noticed.

"Here," he says, reaching out to guide your hands. "If you hook it like this, it'll stay on better."

You grimace at the squelch as it slices through the worm, “Alright—I think I’m good for the day.”

Joel chuckles at your face, his hands lingering against your own despite their descent, rested gently in the palm that was settled against his knee, wholly inappropriate given the situation.

You turn your hand on his thigh, using the leverage to push yourself up and squeeze down at the same time, earning a quiet grunt and a look of pure annoyance from Joel as you smile all fresh-faced and innocent.

Your father chuckles from his chair, not bothering to turn around. "Giving up already? Figures."

You bite back a retort, reminding yourself it's not worth the argument. Your father waves dismissively, attention fixed on the water. Your eyes land on Joel again, who seems to be collecting just how detached you were from your father, but doesn’t find it the right time to play savior or make the trip any more insufferable than it was becoming.

When Joel finds you later, you’re half naked and sunbathing beside your shared tent, far enough out of view that he can’t see your father’s tent as he pushes his sunglasses up into his hair and shakes the nylon wall beside your head, your bare back on display as you make a noise of acknowledgment but don’t turn.

“We’re done,” He says plainly, squinting and averting his eyes as you raise up slightly, arm conveniently blocking the full view of your naked chest as you nod toward your swim top tangled by your feet.

Joel’s beginning to think you’re doing it on purpose.

He pulls at his jeans while he kneels, right at his thighs, picking up the fabric and passing it into your waiting hand as you finally turn on your backside, arm tucked over your chest as you slip the tied part of your top over you head, shifting the fabric over your breasts in one fluid motion before you peer up at Joel who’s decidedly avoiding all interaction suddenly. 

“Catch anything good?”

“Yup,” He tells you, sounding forced.

You both move at the same time, rising to your feet but holding your hand out expectantly, Joel’s hand slipping into your own without a word, like a trained gesture.

“Ask it,” You tell him, subtly shifting the top more firmly into place as you exchange a brief look with Joel.

“I’m curious why you came - ‘cause your daddy or if it was for me, if you got some type of my plan I’m not privy to?”

“No plan,” You admit truthfully, “not for him—or you, actually. But, it’s sweet that you think I’m trying to trick you or something. I figured you knew me better.”

“I know you jus’ fine,” Joel grumbles, pulling his hand from your grip as you step away.

“Do you?” You challenge, “I mean, how well do you actually know me, Joel?”

“This ain’t the time for—“

“No, I mean—you’re obviously trying to give me the attention my dad won’t, right? It’s what you’ve always done. Is it guilt? Do you think you owe me?”

“You ain’t my kid,” He says decisively, “but I’ve known your dad a real long time, longer than you’ve been on this earth and you’re lookin’ at him like you wished he didn’t exist, I’ve seen those looks too, from my girls—“

And he notices the look appearing on your face now, that similar distaste that makes him feel helpless.

“He’s helpless, kiddo. You won’t even set that time aside to have a talk with him, all the animosity towards him about your mother, but you’re expecting his attention, seeking it out like this, from me—it ain’t right,”

“Neither is staring at me like you wanna split me over your lap,” You retort, “but you know he’s too preoccupied to notice, so you do it. And you’ll do it again, and again,”

“Watch yourself,” He warns, an authoritative warmth wrapping around his vocal cords that is the complete opposite of what he wants.

“You don’t get to play the victim here,” you fire back, the heat rising in your cheeks, not just from the sun.

The warm air around you feels suddenly suffocating, thick with unsaid words and unresolved issues, “You were there when it mattered, and now you’re acting like I’m the problem? I didn’t ask you to be that person for me, you did it yourself—”

Your accusation hangs heavy in the air between you.

Joel shifts his weight, grounding himself against the sudden intensity of your gaze. The way you stand, defiant and angry, claws at his insides.

 He can feel the swell of frustration rising, a tide threatening to crash over both of you and consume you whole.

“I never said anything about you bein’ a problem,” he says quietly, but his voice carries an edge you’re not familiar with, “I was giving you what I thought was right in the moment, someone to talk to—you always did right by my girls, you’re a good kid—”

You nod at the utterance of those words, lips pulling into a tight line as you make a sound of disapproval and stare at him with a gaze that could make any man shrink with fear.

“You keep calling me a kid,” you call him out, “but, I don’t think you see it that way anymore.”

Joel doesn’t even know what to say, feeling cornered. You’ve always been able to read him so clearly, like you knew him better than he did. His heart races, nostrils flaring as he steadies his emotions and his face goes stoic, caught between the urge to defend himself and the undeniable truth that hangs in the space between you.

“Things change, alright?” Joel finally responds, his voice low but firm, waving his hand around casually between you and him, “I know you’re not a kid anymore. You’ve grown into—”

“Into what?” you cut him off, a bite to your tone that sets the tension even higher as you cross your arms, shifting on your hip as you step closer, eyebrows raised expectantly.

You feel it bubbling up inside you, a mix of anger and pent-up frustration that has been simmering for too long, laced with a dangerous edge of desire now that you had him so close, that things had undeniably changed.

“I think we both know my dad is just going through the motions, doing the absolute bare minimum. He’d be much happier with a son, but he got me—a spitting image of my fucking mother. He cares enough to keep me around, but he’s never been someone to give a shit about anything I have going on in my life, now or before,”

It spills out without trying, unexpectedly choked up as you utter the last few words.

You wouldn’t cry in front of Joel, you refused.

You sniff once, hard, and quickly blink away the burn of tears.

The silence stretches uncomfortably.

Joel runs a hand over his face, fingers threading through his hair in frustration. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to just enjoy the weekend together, catch up, and with some hope, go your separate ways on a positive note.

Instead, he was clueless.

He steps back, forcing distance between you, though it feels more like a pit. “I don’t know what you want from me,” he admits finally, his voice low and rough, “You’ve grown up, sure. But I still see that girl who used to come to me in the middle of the night sobbin’—

“Stop it,” you snap, your chin lifting defiantly. “Stop doing that—”

The silence lingered again, but it was tangible.

“I don’t need a lecture right now,” you continue, biting back as your blood rushes hot at the way his words twist in your gut to remind you of all the indecipherable emotions of your past, your heart pounding against your ribcage wildly. “Not from you.”

“Whattya lookin’ for then?” Joel challenges, the words undoing you completely, “Because you’ve toeing a line, real fuckin’ thin—”

He feels your hands first, curling around his neck.

His own hands are set at his hips, blinking once, twice, watching the way your eyes linger on his lips before you make the decision in your mind and push forward, pressing your lips against his own without thinking.

His mouth is soft but firm against yours, and more importantly, moving.

A hesitant exploration that quickly deepens as you angle your head to fit him better. 

He releases a soft grunt at the force of the kiss, trading the angle of your head swiftly, lips parting briefly before you’re consuming him once more, your eagerness shifting you further behind the tent, into the large stump that your bags were resting against.

“I want you to fuck me,” you tell him boldly, breathless against his mouth, “Right—right here,”

It was like a bucket of ice water over him, ripping away with the sound of your voice.

He’d forgotten where he was, who he was, who you were—he’d slipped, misjudged, and completely underestimated you. 

“I’m not,” He replies disjointed, his mind elsewhere, “we’re not doin’ this—”

Joel doesn’t give you time to argue, hand clasping over his mouth with a deep regret as he squeezed at his cheeks with his fingers, a self-inflicting pain to drag him back to reality, hands throwing back over his head as they ran through his hair.

He’s gone before you can speak, trailing away from the camp with an unknown end in sight.

–

When your dad asks where Joel was, you shrug.

You didn’t have a clue, it was the truth.

Eventually, he does return, but he won’t look at you.

You peel apart the peach in your hand quietly, face scrunching as the juices spray upwards and Joel takes the beer your father offers in silence, sitting in the only space of the picnic table that was open, across from you.

The two men carry on a meaningless conversation that you tune out, focusing on the fruit in your hand, aware of his eyes that lingered when you weren’t focused on them.

You can feel his gaze on you, watching the way your tongue catches the sticky sweetness that spreads down your palm, chewing quietly at the fruit.

The juice dribbles down your chin, your eyes dart toward him over the table, purely accidental. 

Joel is trying to focus on your father, but his muscles are tense and neither of you ignore that force of the string that had you two bound together, though clearly at odds.

Your tongue dips out of your mouth to clean your face, hearing the conversation continue but focused on him, the clear strain in his throat as he swallows and brings his beer to his mouth.

“I’m gonna shower,” you speak suddenly, abrasively, as you toss the discarded fruit aside, not to any particular man, rather a blatant announcement that you were leaving.

When you’re gone, your father speaks, “She’s just like her mother,” he says candidly to Joel, your words ringing in his ears, “I’m sorry if she’s bein’ rude to you,”

“She’s always been a good kid,” Joel responds dismissively, eyes trailing toward your fading figure, “ain’t nothing I can’t handle or haven’t before,”

Your father nods like he knows, but even Joel sees right through it.

When you returned the fire at camp was already out, lights dimmed to nothing, and Joel’s tent door hung open enough that you could slip through quietly, like he’d prepared it that way.

You were halfway convinced sleeping in his truck was a better alternative.

The faint outline of Joel’s form is silhouetted against the small sliver of moonlight sneaking through the fabric—he wasn’t lying down just yet, rather resting, his foot planted into the ground while the other lay stretched out, his eyes only briefly acknowledging you as you step inside the tent.

“Jeez, you’re worse than the boys at school,” you complain, adjusting your shorts as you kneel your sleeping bag and Joel notices the distinct lack of fabric underneath, the material scrunching high up on your hip as you turn away from him on your stomach, annoyed, “you kissed me back, you know? I didn’t imagine that.”

“It’s inappropriate,” Joel says and you snort at his decision to take the moral high road over the situation, wiping your head to look at him suddenly, “should be worryin’ about boys your own age.”

“I do,” you retort, “they suck.”

“You’ve barely lived,” Joel retorts, “dated what—a couple of ‘em? You’ve always been careful, I dunno why you’re bein’ so reckless all the sudden, specially with your dad around and thinkin’ that I was—”

“Was what?” You inquire, pushing up suddenly to your knees, resting back on your calves

“Was gonna fuck you right here,” Joel cuts you off, his voice low and tight, eyes averting outside.

You don’t back down, your chin lifting defiantly. “I think you’re too pussy anyways.”

His gaze narrows on you, the suppressed desire in his eyes flickering like a flame. “You don’t know what I’d do,” he shoots back, his voice gravelly with restraint, “fix your fuckin’ tone.”

“You know, there was this guy,” you begin with a fond smile, but your eyes are speaking something different, “it was dangerous and stupid, but he was honest about how he was feeling.”

Joel speaks your name, stresses it, but you ignore him.

“He was my professor, actually,” You giggle softly, “and we both knew it was a terrible idea, but fuck—I just couldn’t say no and well, niether could he—he took me out, he treated me right,”

“What are you tryin’ to prove?” Joel asks suddenly.

“He didn’t fuck me, though—no one has,” you admit, “but I know what I want and who deserves me, it, and,” you scoff, “god, you can’t even look at me now,”

“That ain’t what this is,” Joel argues, staring you down with a challenge.

You scoff again, ducking your head to hide a smirk.

 “Then what is it, Joel? Was that you bein’ there for me?” You tease the thickness of his southern drawl and pout for good measure.

His silence is enough of an answer and you shake your head in amusement, finally giving up.

You move with urgency, rolling up your sleeping bag out of frustration to flee toward his truck, snatching the keys at his side before he can grab them, but in your effort to run, his hand wraps around your ankle, the lantern at his side flicking on with the use of his other hand.

“Now, hold on,” Joel demands, releasing your ankle to wrap around the string of the sleeping bag holding the fabric where it was rolled together and tugs you back inside, zipping the tent closed in the process.

“Make it good,” you argue and he growls softly, the tone gruff and demanding. 

Your heart races at the authority in his grip, the way he moves you so close there's barely any space left between your bodies. There’s a taste of fear, mixed with excitement, only our tongue.

Joel’s gaze darkens, his expression shifting as he studies you, “I’m not fuckin’ you—m’not,”

“I thought we already established that,” you reply monotone and bored, tugging back against the sleeping bag, “so, we’re done here?”

“You forget those on purpose?” Joel asks suddenly, unsure what he was referring to until his hand is guiding between your legs and beyond, to the clean pile of what used to be the clothes you were currently wearing, a distinct article left behind.

He’s got the fabric bunched in his grip, an opaque white cotton with faded blue flowers sprinkled in a distinct pattern.

“Is this how you want to play?” he asks, your gaze slowly dropping to the panties held between his fingers, presented to you like a prize, “Because I guarantee you can’t handle whatever you’re askin’ for, kiddo,”

Your lips part like you want to answer, but you can’t.

Joel seems beyond his resolve now, for the time being, at least.

He’s annoyed, irritated, mad, even.

It was a situation that desperately needed to be rectified, but instead, he gives in.

“Take your shorts off,” he leaves no room for argument, not that you would.

You nod hastily and comply as he pulls the sleeping bag from your grip briefly as you slid the nylon fabric down your hips, his eyes clearly avoidant as they focus on your face, the stuttering breath you release as you slid the fabric down your leg and off, feeling them pulled from your hands as he shoves the sleeping back back, but further, between your thighs.

“You’re all talk, sweetheart,”

He uses the endearment in a pointed manner, never demeaning until now.

“I’ll prove you wrong,” you argue back, meeting his eyes with a hunger you had no idea you could feel for another person until now.

“Use it,” Joel responds casually, “get off on it,”

It was the equivalent to a pillow, embarrassing that he was stripping you down to such a vulnerable state, arms balanced on his knees now with a look so fierce in his eyes that you had no choice but to listen, slowly rocking your hips against the rolled fabric as your hands fumbled to meet the floor in front of you, forcing you far enough forward that you’re only a handful of inches from Joel’s face.

Joel's gaze sharpens, eyes darkened with something primal that sends shivers down your spine. As you begin to rock against the sleeping bag, a wave of heat washes over you, bordering embarrassment, but there’s something lingering behind his eyes, empowering you.

“Just like that,” he murmurs, eyebrow twitching slightly, easily missed if you weren’t so close to his face, but your lips part and he can feel your shaky breath against his face, his voice wrapping around you like a serpent, “don’t even need me touchin’ you, do you? Is it that easy?”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, struggling to maintain eye contact as the fabric rolls against you, the pressure building in delicious waves, hips canting in desperation. You let out a soft whimper, feeling the way your body responds instinctively to the friction, each movement like a shock to your core.

“I think you can do better,” Joel offers, “that right?”

You nod eagerly, bound by his words, you shift your weight more firmly against the fabric until it feels different, stronger, more enticing. Your breath hitches at the sudden friction, the pressure heavy against your clit as you drag your hips back and forth hurriedly.

Joel’s gaze seems to wander then, from your face to the shake of your breasts under your shirt, to your bare hips and down to your thighs where they hugged the fabric, the smallest peek of your bare ass as your head finally falls, moaning softly with how fucking good it feels to get yourself off in front of him, even it was equally humiliating. 

With the slightest bit of courage, your hand wanders forward in his obvious distraction.

It wasn’t hard to believe that he was enjoying this, but the physical reaction beneath the denim of his jeans is still surprising, your hand curling over the tent of denim, his cock hot and heavy underneath your palm.

His eyes snap to your face and your react immediately, half-expecting him to shove your hand away and snap himself back to reality, but he doesn’t.

“Can I see it?” you ask with a raw innocence, pure curiosity.

“This ain’t ‘bout me,” it was an excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

When you curl your fingers tighter around the bulge in his jeans—it’s a risk.

The way his breath hitches almost makes you chuckle with delight, “What’s wrong? Are you scared of me?” you tease him.

You moan again, softer, but through a laugh, head tilting to the side as your other hand presses against your thigh, angling your body so Joel can get a clear view of the way your cunt hugs the sleeping bag, slick smearing against the water-proof fabric, the feeling it creates in him is animalistic.

“Ain’t never been scared of you,” Joel admits, but the flicker of hesitation in his face tells a different story, still, he gives in. Again.

He’s leisurely about it, too.

He shifts, resting back on his palm as he makes slow work of his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping as he watches your trading gaze, eyes fluttering shut occasionally.

When you catch the first glimpse of him, it was through his underwear, fabric straining against the thickness—it was the only part of the process Joel didn’t waste time with, pulling the fabric down far enough that he can scoop his balls up in his grip, every part of him larger than the next.

“Fuck,” you exhale, your hips stilling momentarily as you stare before resuming the frantic pace, “You’re so—”

“Big?” he finishes, with a cocky smirk that makes you roll your eyes—you’ve heard it countless times before, always feigning the truth for the benefit of the other, but with Joel, you couldn’t even lie.

You nod openly, tongue wetting your bottom lip as your eyes pull to his hand as it grips his cock.

His grip on his dick tightens, tugging at the base as you pick up the pace, your hips rocking faster against the fabric that turns slick with your arousal.

“This what you want?” Joel growls, voice much deeper than before and thick with arousal, “Can’t help but wanna be watched, huh?”

You nod again, frantically, staring between the way his dick swells and how he spreads his legs, tugging his cock firmly, eyes locked on the urgency of your movement and the devastating look on your face.

 “Fuck!” you gasp quietly, aware that you two were never quite alone, back arching as you feel the muscles in your core clench around nothing, eyes closing as your orgasm washes over, gasping at the sudden loss of friction where Joel has seemingly pulled it away, cock tucked back in his jeans but still unfastened.

“What—what was that for?” you ask, panting.

“For thinkin’ you know everything,” he replies calmly, he tosses the sleeping bag aside, the fabric unrolling with the force and you try desperately to ignore how easily he had encourage you to deface yourself in front of him, “get some damn sleep,”

You dress quietly, watching as he relaxed on his back, blindly reaching over his head to dim the light inside the tent before tossing you your blanket it had strewn across the length of the tent, ignoring the way his hands follow up to cover your thighs with soft fabric, a similar gesture he had done before in your sleep but unbeknownst to you, almost like a reflex.

“You’re too fuckin’ reckless,” He tells you eventually, the quiet having lingered, “that shit you told me, coulda got you kicked out of college, what’s it all for?”

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, tucking your pillow up under your head as you turn to him, ignoring the lingering ache between your legs and how Joel absentmindedly palmed his cock, visible even within the darkness, the soft rustle of fabric, “he was nice—seemed it, anyways.”

“Lotta kindness don’t come without a price,” Joel tells you, “you ever end up makin’ a decision like that again, you call me first—then I can talk some damn sense into you seein’ as I’m the only fuckin’ person you’ll listen to,”

Joel huffs out a bitter laugh, quieter than his words.

“Don’t know why,” He mutters, barely above a whisper.

“I can help,” you tell him, turning his head to look at you and where your eyes lingered, watching his hand shuffle underneath the blanket and up, flattening against his chest, “seems fair since—”

“No—no, kiddo,” He shakes his head, “you don’t owe me shit,”

He was wrong, astronomically.

But, you couldn't find the energy to argue.

–

You spent the next couple days switching between sunbathing, occasional dips into the lake, and tagging along for fishing trips that are some of the least exciting ways you’ve spent your life, but you were stuck here regardless of how much you wanted to flee now.

You’ve barely spoken to Joel or your father, though Joel can’t help but look over his shoulder every thirty seconds, just to make sure you aren’t going to disappear. 

It feels like a collosal fuck-up, trying to prove yourself to Joel.

He’s never seen you as anything more than a surrogate daughter, whining about situations out of your control, and seeking approval from him in a way that could never be answered.

There had always been that underlying attraction, an innocent school yard crush—Joel was attractive, devastatingly so, but you had made the mistake of acting on a dream, a desire that should have remained just that—not…whatever your situation with him had turned into.

Your father was already several feet ahead on your nightwalk back from fishing on the dock, cooler in your grip as Joel walked ahead but stayed near, fishing poles locked in his grip.

Your silence unsettles him, knowing he had crossed a line himself, too.

Joel was never good with emotion or feeling, repressing everything for the benefit of everyone around him, but he would be lying if said he didn’t feel the same thing you had.

It was fleeting, a spark, but it was strong.

It lingered.

“We’ll pack everything up to head out earlier,” Joel says suddenly, grabbing your attention as you look up, calling out to your father, “go on ahead,”

Your father waves in response over his shoulder as he disappears into his tent and you walk straight past Joel, tossing the cooler into the dirt carelessly, annoyed that Joel had signed you up for something you didn’t really care to do when all you wanted to do was curl up in your sleeping bag and count the hours until you would be out of here.

Joel packs most of the truck and car up on his own, watching as you tuck away your own belongings in silence and eventually, he can’t handle it anymore.

He tugs you away without a word, a small noise of protest that he ignores until you’re a decent distance from the campsite, the back of your thighs hitting the empty picnic table, the area dead silent and empty and Joel’s gaze is the only thing you have to focus on.

“I don’t need another lecture,” you interrupt him before he can speak, but Joel smirks slightly, shaking his head.

Suddenly, he’s in your space, hands curling around the back of your thighs until you’re scooting back against the surface of the table, crowding in by his broad shoulders, eyes widening at his forwardness but not adverse to it.

Silently, he pulls at his belt, the metal clanging together deafeningly before his hands press down against the table on either side of you, nodding pointedly.

You can’t help but stare at the nonchalant twitch of his lips, leaning back slightly at his proximity as your heart hammers wildly against your ribs, fingers wrapped tightly around the edge of the table.

“What’s the catch?” you ask cautiously, though your tension eases with his laugh.

“It’s all you,” he explains, “you’re off-limits, kiddo,”

You pause at his words, brow furrowing.

“But, if you want it that bad, you can have it,” Joel explains.

You stare him down for a moment, attempting to read his expression, but you can’t.

“I’m not touchin’ you,” he elaborates further, “ain’t because I don’t want—I fuckin’....it’s just how it is, alright?”

You tilt your head, looking at him for a long, lingering moment before your hands drift toward his face, feeling how easy he melts into your touch, even if he tries to ignore it.

“I guess that is the only way to keep you from feeling guilty about fucking around with me,” you tell him plainly, “you can face my dad after watching me the other night, but touching me is where you draw the line? Okay,” there’s a tone of finality with it, like he was about to be checkmated.

You work open the button on his jeans, feeling his stomach flex against the brush of your knuckles, wasting little time as you unzip his jeans and quickly fit your hand under the waistband of his boxers, welcomed by the soft, velvety warmth of his cock, hardening instantly under your touch.

He exhales at your touch, using your other hand to pull his clothing down enough that it doesn’t hinder your actions, his fingers curling around the wood at either side of you until it creaks.

“Yup,” he relents, taking a shaky breath as your grip becomes firmer around him, tugging his cock at a devastatingly slow place, “fuck—you always were a quick learner,” he couldn’t help but add, followed by your soft laughter.

You stroke him from base to tip, your thumb rubbing over the bit of precum that had collected at the slit, watching the way his muscles tense in his neck, knowing there was plenty of time to admire his cock but right now, you were focused on him. 

Joel had never been one to rush things, so you took your time with him.

His eyes never leave yours, either.

It was an intimate dance, a silent battle.

He swallows hard, glancing briefly at the distant tents before he leans in closer, his breath hot against your skin but not touching. Never touching.

You can feel the pulse of his cock as he grows closer, your opposite hands rolling his balls gently under your touch, his pathetic moan disguised by a poor attempt at a grunt.

“Don’t look over there,” you tell him, “look at me,”

Joel listens, surprisingly. 

“Ain’t no way you’ve never—”

“Had sex?” you inquire, “Oh, I swear. Completely un-deflowered, I promise.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he swears, an empty threat that makes you giggle.

His lips are parted, close enough to your own that you feel the faint tickle of touch every so often, but completely of your own doing, although the rock of his hips into your tight fist are all him.

You can see the battle waging within him, his resolve waning with every glide of your hand against his cock, the heat radiating off him making you ache for him.

“Relax,” you whisper, your voice like honey as you lean in a fraction closer, teasingly brushing your lips against his. “Just let it happen.”

His eyes darken, a mix of lust and longing that only spurs you on.

You tighten your grip, stroking him slowly, relishing the way his brows knit together in pleasure while he fights to maintain control.

“Oh, you’re right there,” you tease playfully, voice soft, “you gonna come?”

Joel clears his throat and nods jerkily, “Ye—fuck, yeah.”

“Yeah,” you twist your wrist in a way that steals the air from his chest, “you gonna come for me, Joel?”

He nods, eyes set on your own, almost pleading.

You’d never seen him so vulnerable, yet there he was—caught in a moment of pure need.

When he does, it happens over a strung out “Fuuuuuuck,” that tumbles from his lips as he spills over your fist, grinning triumphantly at the way he falls apart without fear, his hips jerking forward into your hand.

Without thinking, you bring your hand to your mouth, licking around the mess he had left.

“Jesus, sweetheart,” he groans, tucking his flagging erection back into his jeans with a modicum of guilt at how greedily you lick up every last drop, “ain’t a damn thing innocent about you, is there?”

“Yeah, I’m sure there is…maybe,” you answer honestly, “you know—just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced, jus’....means I’m waiting for the right time…right person,”

Your words linger and Joel looks away in an instant, checking out toward the tents as he fastens his jeans, watching you wipe your damn hand against your own jeans.

“Fix your face,” you warn him, smile full of amusement, “you look like you just blew your load.”

“I did,” he retorts, “jesus—you never stopped being a little shit, did ‘ya?”

No, you hadn’t. And Joel knows it.

–

No one has to convince or coerce you into Joel’s truck the following morning.

Joel huffs out a chuckle of disbelief when he finds you more than chipper and bright-eyed about the fact you were finally leaving—he had already pre-negotiated about dropping you off back at college before bringing back your father’s supplies, since you had left your car back at your dorms and Joel wasn’t willing to let you cab ride there or force you to endure the ride back with your father, he was your only option.

You really didn’t mind. Not anymore.

“Seatbelt,” he orders, snapping his fingers as you continue to stare, arm resting against the top of the seat as you hold out your hand expectantly while he pulls onto the main road, “go on.”

“Phone,” you order in the same snapping tone, “you said I should call you if I feel like makin’ anymore stupid decision,”

He’d hoped you just…wouldn’t.

Joel sighs, taking one hand off the wheel to fish into his pocket for his phone before handing it over.

There’s a picture of him with Sarah and Ellie on his lockscreen, both girls squished into frame below him, his hand on either side of their heads as if forcing them together, their laughter clear and loud through the photo.

Joel notices you looking, the memory of it making him smile.

“They miss you,” he tells you, “should come down and visit ‘em during your next break, when they’re in town—your daddy told me you don’t come down for stuff like that but…you know Tommy and I don’t mind,”

“Tommy still lives with you?”

“Loosely,” Joel offers, “he’s in and out—works for me, he helps pay for shit so I’m not complaining.”

You hum in response as you watch him blindly put in his passcode, six zeros in rapid succession. Somehow, you’re not surprised. You input your number quietly and call your phone, doing the same with your own phone before handing it back to him.

“Don’t abuse it,” Joel warns you, placing the phone between his thighs,

“Me?” you feign innocence, “Never.”

Joel taps his thumb quietly against the steering wheel, deciding carefully on his next words but unable to keep them in, feeling the boil over.

“That stuff—it doesn’t leave there,” Joel says pointedly, “whatever it was, it happened, but that—that can’t happen anymore, understood?”

Your gaze flicks down to your lap, tongue swirling over your teeth as you nod, unable to look at him as he glares over at you, awaiting a verbal response.

“I gotta hear it, kiddo,” he presses.

“Already forgotten,” you promise, though your voice is hollow, “can we listen to something?”

Joel shoves the box of cassettes into your lap, knowing that this was a tactic to switch subjects, but he didn’t have it in him to argue.

The damage between you had already been done.

-

next chapter

-

divider credit: @/saradika-graphics

[atlabeth]

bittersweet - joel miller

summary: you stumble into joel's life and he has no intentions of keeping you there. too bad you're just as stubborn as he is.

a/n: did someone order a whole novella of plot mixed with occasional banter ending with no relationship in sight but a new bond that will inevitably grow to be more? no? here it is anyways!

set before joel gets to boston but he's already been separated from tommy but who tf cares about canon tbh we're just having fun here. i started this when the show first began and as usual, abandoned it and as usual, came back with a fervor 2 years later. hope you all enjoy! i barely proofread this bc ive already read it so many times while writing and i physically cannot do it one more time rn so please let me know if there are any glaring mistakes

wc: 20k (officially my longest one shot! congrats joel)

warning(s): fem!reader (she is southern); decent age gap (joel is 40 and r is 27), half and half on fluff and angst; canon typical violence, some directed at reader; a lot of cursing; a lot of gun violence throughout most of the fic; numerous gunshot wounds; threats of sexual violence against reader but nothing ever happens! joel kills a lot of people (and is kinda mean for the first half of this); inaccurate medical stuff!! i did my research but am prob wrong on some stuff so pls dont flame me

both gifs bc i imagined both of them while writing and bc theyre both so hot jfc

You wish you weren’t so accustomed to waking up to gunshots. 

You dart up from your bed immediately, the sound rattling around your brain as your weary mind tries to make sense of the situation. You have your pistol in your hand before you even fully realize it, your instincts honed even in your grogginess.

Screams accompany the gunfire and you push against the grimaces trying to fight their way to the surface. This isn’t the first time the compound you’ve stayed in has been taken over by force, but it’s the first time you’ve been this unprepared, and the first time you haven’t been on the ground floor for easy evacuation. No one is in your room trying to kill you—not yet, at least—and you have to take that blessing while you’ve got it. 

You throw on your jacket and shove your feet into your boots, thankful you tucked your laces in months ago. You can handle the minor discomfort in exchange for the advantage. You throw what you can into your backpack, ensure your knife is secured in its sheath, and edge towards the door. 

Normally, you share a room with Devon, but she went on a supply run alongside a few others a couple days ago—you regret not taking her offer to come along on account of your many patients, but you can’t waste what could become a very short life on regrets. 

You open the door and peer out, trying to gauge your chances. The gunshots are getting closer and the screams are louder. If you weren’t on the top floor, you would have considered the window. But you have to get to the infirmary first, and you don’t really feel like breaking your legs. 

Soon as there’s an opening, you run. Your most recent area of refuge is a run down high school, and you know it well after your months here. You practically throw yourself down a hallway to hide from a group of men coming up the stairs, and your heart threatens to beat out your chest. 

Their rifles and shotguns are much bigger than the little handgun that you’ve carried state to state. You have to press your body against the wall to stop it from shaking, and grip your pistol so tight you feel the ridged handle indent into your palm. 

“Go room by room!” one man at the front shouts. “Leave no survivors!” 

Your only hope is to get out before they find you. The infirmary is in the old nurse’s office on the first floor—if they’re already up here gunning down the last of the compound, then you have little doubt that your patients are already dead. There’s no point in joining them out of some false sense of heroism. 

There were no heroes anymore. 

You back up slowly, making sure you stay flush against the wall while you keep an eye on the hallway. You think about slipping into the classroom you’re next to, but you decide against it. You can’t afford to get trapped. 

You continue to stealth your way down the hallways, keeping your head on a swivel as you try and think through all your escape routes. 

There’s another staircase on the other side of the top floor, but that might be too out in the open. A couple of stairwells are tucked behind unassuming doors, but that would leave you even more trapped if things went south. And of course, you can always throw yourself out a window and hope you don’t break your legs. 

More gunshots, more screams—you hear the thumps of bodies falling to the floor and you have to steel yourself. It doesn’t matter that these people were your friends or acquaintances or anything close to it. They’re dead now, and you refuse to join them. 

You turn the corner and immediately retract—a trio of armed men are going classroom by classroom, and you hardly stand a chance against one. Once you retrace your steps, you poke your head around the corner only to be greeted with the sight of more bandits. You press yourself against the wall, heart racing. 

You’re stuck in this hallway, dead if they see you. Might as well make things a little worse and at least get yourself some cover if you’re trapped either way. 

The ceiling is crumbling above you, has been falling apart for a few months. You pick up a piece of tile, take a deep breath, and throw it as hard as you can. Two of the trio go to check it out, and the third is focused on them to watch their backs. You dart out of your hallway and run as quick and quiet as you can, and you make it to the alcove leading into a classroom. 

Twin classrooms actually, connected by a door in the middle, so you’re not completely stuck. You breathe out a sigh of relief, but it’s immediately short-lived when you hear the pump of a shotgun.

You whirl around to see the empty shell fall to the ground, your hands already flying up on instinct. You’re staring down the barrel of the gun, held by a man standing in the doorway between the two classrooms. He doesn’t look particularly nice, but he hasn’t shot you immediately, so you should learn to count your blessings.  

“I’m a doctor!” you proclaim, your heart threatening to pound out of your chest at this point. You’ve learned it’s the best thing to lead with. “Don’t shoot, I—” you suck in air as fast as you can, but all this running with your life on the line is wearing on you— “I’m a doctor.” 

Again, he doesn’t instantly kill you. He keeps his gun trained on you and takes a few steps closer, and you’re making much more eye contact with the barrel than him. 

“A doctor?” he repeats skeptically. “You look a little young for that.” 

“I was a surgical resident before the outbreak,” you lie. “I just have a young face.” 

He lowers the gun just slightly, so it’s not aimed at your head anymore. “You’re a surgeon?”

“Yes,” you nod repeatedly. “They said to leave no survivors, but I— I can help any of your wounded. As much as you need, just— just please don’t kill me.”

The man stares at you and you tense every muscle in your body to not shift under his scrutiny. Eventually, he fully lowers his gun. 

“Thank you,” you breathe. You feel like you could collapse from the relief, but it doesn’t last long as he moves in. Soon as he’s close enough, he slams your hand against the wall and your gun falls out of your limp grasp. 

Your heart rate spikes as you flatten yourself against the wall in an effort to put space between the two of you, but it’s fruitless. 

“If you’re fuckin’ lying,” he mutters, his hot breath hitting your face as his grip on your wrist tightens painfully, “you’ll end up like the rest of your people.” 

“I’m not lying,” you enunciate stiffly, staring him right in the eye. 

The man holds your gaze for another moment before he nods, seemingly satisfied. He lets go of you to pick up your gun from the ground and tuck it in his holster, and you stumble forward when he pushes you with the barrel.

“Get movin’, little lady,” he says. “I’ve got an awfully itchy trigger finger.” 

You fight the urge to talk back. You’ve avoided getting shot for this long, and you don’t really fancy getting a shotgun to the face in such close quarters. You keep your hands up and start walking, hoping by pure will you can stop them from shaking. 

You walk out of the classroom and through the hallways, and you’re able to catch glimpses of dead bodies as you go. You recognize far too many of them—those with their features still intact, at least.

These people welcomed you into their community with open arms, treated you like family even though they’d only known you for a few months. You knew anyone like that didn’t last very long, but you tried to ignore it. 

You couldn’t think about that now, though. That was how the world worked—how it had worked for a long time now. 

You stumble your way down the stairs and finally make it to the lobby. Even more bodies litter the first floor—you see Eleanor, the woman who brought you back here when she could have left you for dead; Delilah, who you worked with in the infirmary; Cade, who flirted with you too much for his own good but always managed to make you laugh—

Your focus is jarred from thoughts of your comrades survival to those of your own as the man pushes you hard with the barrel of his gun. You just barely manage to catch yourself with your hands as you fall to your knees. You look up to see yourself in the middle of a group of bloodstained bandits, and you clench your hands into fists to keep them from shaking. 

“What part of ‘no survivors’ do you not understand, Jake?” one of them says. “We don’t need another mouth to feed because you want a plaything.” 

Your skin crawls at the thought, but he just shakes his head with a grumble. “I’m not like Marshall. Didn’t kill her ‘cause she says she’s a doctor. She can get Becca and Joel back on their feet,” he looks pointedly at a woman, “can make sure Nadine’s still in working order.” 

“How do you know she’s not lying?” the woman counters, and she squats down to look you in the eye. You meet her inquisitive gaze, refusing to look away—she breaks first, at least, and stands back up. “Could be tryin’ to save her own ass.” 

“I’m not lying,” you grind out. “Wouldn’t do me any good to get shot at your camp instead of here, would it?” 

“Watch your mouth,” she says, but she backs off anyways. 

“Check her for weapons and tie her up,” another one says. “We’ll take her back once we’ve picked this place clean.” 

Again, you swallow the words you want to say. You bite your tongue when you’re wrestled from the ground and searched for weapons. You don’t fight back as your hands are tied together behind your back, you don’t fight back when Jake prods you with his gun even as he follows you to the infirmary to get your medical bag, you don’t fight back against anything. 

You’re a captive of the people that slaughtered your friends, only alive because of the overexaggerated skills you’ve used like a shield since the outbreak started. Your continued survival depends on helping people you might not even be able to save, and you doubt this group will want to listen to your medical explanations. 

But you are alive. And that’s all you care about. 

(You’re not breaking the one damn promise that still matters.)

-

It’s not a very fun ride back. 

These people travel by horse and they don’t want you running off, so you have to sit in front of Jake, the man who spared your life who seems to be some kind of leader. He makes idle comments to pass the time, and it’s not as bad as it could be, but you dislike him anyway. He did help murder your whole community. 

Sunrise comes around just as you make it to camp—you have to fight to stay awake on the ride, and when you jump down, you’re reminded that this slaughter happened in the middle of the night. 

It doesn’t matter how tired you are, though, because your work starts almost immediately. You think about asking Jake for coffee as he leads you to your first patient, but you don’t think he would take too kindly to it. 

He mentioned Becca when he was pleading your case, and she ends up being your first stop. She’s got a nasty gash on her leg that she got from hopping a barbed wire fence and it’s kept her off her feet since it happened. 

You clean it out as best you can and stitch it up with what these people have on hand, which happens to be a needle and thread. At this point, you think you’ve done more stitches this way than the normal way. To her credit, she bears it well—better than Jake, who grumbles every time you ask him for the materials you need. It’s like he doesn’t even want you to help, which doesn’t really make sense when he’s standing there with his gun like he’s ready to shoot you at any moment. 

Next is Nadine, and you’re accompanied by the woman who accused you of lying. They must be close, because she doesn’t leave her side during your entire checkup. Nadine has a broken arm that you can tell she hasn’t been resting properly, but at least there’s no swelling. They’ve already done a makeshift sling for her, so you just do a par for the course checkup then refashion her sling to be more effective. None of them appreciate you telling her she needs to rest, but you figured that would be the case. This doesn’t seem to be the happiest bunch of people. 

Finally, you’re hauled off to your last patient, Joel. You’re exhausted from your sleepless night and walking on glass with every passing second, but he’s the last one. He can’t be too difficult to deal with. 

You reach the final room and Jake pounds on the door. 

“Joel!” he calls. “You decent?” 

“Do you know what time it is?” a gruff voice responds, and you hold back a sigh. Is everyone here difficult? 

Jake opens the door anyway and gestures for you to walk in. You do, and you see a man laying down in bed atop the sheets. His eyes are closed but he doesn’t even look peaceful—just annoyed. 

You purse your lips. Everyone here is difficult. 

“We got ourselves a doctor,” Jake says. “So stop complainin’ and let her look at you.” 

“I don’t need a doctor,” he says. 

“You got shot two days ago,” he retorts. “Only reason no one’s looked at it more is because no one thought you would make it through the night.” 

“I’m fine.” He sits up with a groan characteristic of someone who is not fine, and he levels his gaze at you. “You’re wasting your time.” 

“I’ve got nothing but time,” you say. “I don’t think he’s gonna let me leave until I look you over, so…” 

Joel scoffs. “Don’t tell me you went and kidnapped a doctor.” 

“We got lucky at the school,” Jake says. 

He rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m fine.” 

You glance at your captor. “I don’t think we’re getting anywhere.” 

“You better get somewhere,” Jake says. 

“I might make better leeway without you standing over me,” you say. 

He frowns. “You’re a prisoner. Can’t trust you alone.” 

“I’ve gotten through the past two patients just fine.” 

“I don’t need you jumpin’ out the window and running the first chance you get,” Jake says. 

“Look,” you say, a muscle working in your jaw, “do you want your man to get through this or not? Because if you do, I need to work in silence, and it doesn’t seem like the two of you are very good at it together.” 

He doesn’t budge, and you let out a loose breath. “You can wait outside, and if I do anything suspicious, feel free to shoot me. But at least give me the room.” 

The approval of your own murder seems to satisfy him, however temporary, because after staring at you for another moment, he grunts. He goes over to the door, then lifts his gun and looks at you. “Remember, I’ve got an itchy trigger finger.” 

He leaves the room to let the threat sit in the air, and you close your eyes and sigh deeply. You don’t know when, but you know you have to get out of here eventually. 

“And just who the hell are you?” 

You open your eyes to see Joel staring right at you, very unimpressed. He looks to be in his 40s, the greying in his scruffy hair and beard giving it away—if that didn’t do it, the hardened weariness in his eyes would. 

Men like him tend to be the worst patients, at least in your limited experience. Something tells you Joel won’t be any different. 

“A doctor,” you say. “What’s wrong with you?”

“You don’t look like a doctor,” he says. 

You already hate this guy. “Sorry. I lost my white coat and stethoscope when people started eating each other.”

“I mean you look too young.”

“Well, you look too old to still be this annoying,” you retort. “Now tell me what’s wrong with you so we get over this quicker. ” 

Joel grumbles and rolls his eyes, but he eventually answers you. “Got shot a couple days back.”

“There an exit wound?” you ask. 

He nods. 

“How much does it hurt?” 

“Like hell.” 

You narrow your eyes at him. “You this short with all your doctors?” 

He grunts, and you sigh as you kneel down next to him. “Alright. Show me.” 

Joel stares at you for a moment before relenting. He shrugs off his jacket then pulls up the bottom of his shirt, revealing a shoddily bandaged wound on his lower chest. 

You raise your eyebrows. “Who patched you up? And when?” 

“Does it matter?” he asks. 

“Yes, actually. Helps me know the likelihood of infection, and if there is one, how fucked you are.” 

“Why do you need to know who did it?” 

“Because it’s pretty shitty handiwork,” you say. 

“Kept me alive,” Joel says. “Far as I’m concerned, that means it’s pretty good.” 

You roll your eyes. “You tell yourself that when you’re dying of sepsis.” 

“Not everyone has your luxuries, doc,” he responds dryly. 

“I’d say you certainly have some luxuries,” you say. “Looks like this missed your major organs, for one. You’re extremely lucky.”  

 He huffs a mirthless laugh. “Wouldn’t really classify myself as lucky.” 

“You should,” you say, glancing back up at him. “Takes an awful lot of it to get by these days.” 

Joel remains silent. You sigh again and take it as your sign to start working. 

You gingerly peel back the bandages, and to Joel’s credit, he only grimaces the smallest bit. 

“No infection,” you murmur. “That’s good.”

“Guess it was patched up pretty well then,” he says. 

You glance up at him. “You dressed it yourself, didn’t you?”

Joel shrugs. “Maybe.” 

“You seem pretty normal for someone who got shot a few days ago,” you say. 

“‘Cause it’s not the first time,” he says. “You tellin’ me you haven’t been shot?” 

You shake your head. “Stabbed, sliced, scratched, bit, but never shot.” 

His eyebrows rise. “You’ve been bit?” 

“By people, not infected.” You chuckle. “The one thing I’ve managed to avoid, at least.” 

He makes some noise of acknowledgement. “Things get crazy in that hospital of yours?” 

You smile wryly. “Nothin’ crazier than I see out here everyday. And nothing worse than Outbreak Day.” 

Joel goes quiet at that. You don’t know why you continue on as you clean out his wound, why you’re talking so much when you went through the last two patients in relative silence. Maybe it’s because Jake isn’t standing over your shoulder. 

“I worked in a hospital in the middle of Boston,” you explain. “The city practically imploded when it all started—felt like we were the epicenter of it all. Patients turned their nurses, folks in the waiting room killed their families, and all the infected that managed to escape went on a rampage in the city.” You shake your head with a sigh. “Sometimes I still don’t know how I made it out alive.” 

You feel Joel’s gaze on you for a long time after. You can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes, so you busy yourself with dressing both sides of his wound now that you’ve cleaned it out. Eventually, though, he speaks. 

“Boston’s a long way from Kansas,” he says. “How’d you end up here?” 

You shake your head again as you finish taping the last piece of gauze across his exit wound. “Can’t reveal all my secrets day one.” 

“Bold to think I care that much,” he says. 

You frown. “You were the one that asked.” 

He opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted when the door opens. Both of you look over to see Jake, looking unapologetic. 

“I got bored,” he says, answering your unspoken question. “Can’t take this long to bandage someone up.” 

You set down your nearly depleted roll of gauze. “I just finished, actually.” 

“He gonna live?” Jake asks. 

“Bullet went straight through and missed any vital organs or arteries, so he really avoided the worst of it,” you explain. “I cleaned it the best I could and covered it with gauze—I think it would do more harm than good to stitch it up. He should be okay, but someone should really monitor him for the next few days to make sure it stays that way. And if you have antibiotics, send ‘em his way. Better to be safe than sorry when it comes to infection.” 

“Good,” he nods. “I think we have a couple—I’ll get ‘em to you.” 

“Good,” you echo. “Then I think we’re done here.” 

You stand up from the bed, thinking you’re finally in the clear, when he pulls out a pair of handcuffs. You’re about to question it when he opens them and clips one side around the radiator next to the door, then looks at you. 

“We got one last order of business,” Jake says, and it clicks in your head. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you say incredulously. 

“You said it yourself,” he says. “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on him. Might as well be the one that treated him.” 

“This is ridiculous,” you spit. “I did what you asked, and you treat me like— like a goddamn animal?” 

“You’re a prisoner,” he says, like he has to remind you. “I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. You’ll run off the second you can.” 

You grind your teeth together. “Can’t even put me in a cell like a dignified prisoner?” 

“If Joel dies, it’s your head,” he says. “You should thank me. This gives you the best chance possible.” 

You want to fight it, but you can’t. Not when he could put a bullet in your head with that shotgun he seems very fond of.

So you clench your jaw, swallow your pride, and let him handcuff you to a radiator that looks like it’s a decade older than you. This motel they’ve hitched up in really has all the luxuries. 

“What if I do start dyin’ in the middle of the night,” Joel says dryly. “She can’t exactly work her magic with one hand.” 

“I’m sure she can do plenty magic with one hand,” Jake chuckles, and your skin crawls as he looks you over. You clench your jaw so hard you think your teeth might crack. 

“Real clever, jackass,” Joel intones.

Jake rolls his eyes. “Just walk your sorry ass across the room if you have to.”

“You really thought this out,” he says. 

 “Don’t make me regret makin’ her save your life,” Jake says, and he turns his attention back to you. “Don’t do—“

“Anything stupid,” you interrupt despite yourself. “Yeah, I know.”

You feel the pain before you even really see him pull the gun out, the glint of metal the only hint to the searing fire in your cheek. You fall to the ground, hissing as your free hand darts up to nurse the wound rather than try to catch yourself. The pain smarts both on your knees and your cheek, blood already spurting from the cut he opened up. Your vision swims in front of you. 

“Watch your mouth, bitch,” he growls. “Remember why you’re here.” 

You just grit your teeth as he holsters his pistol—no, your pistol, the bastard—riding through the wave of dizziness. You want to remind him you won’t be of much use if you’re fucking dead, but you don’t feel like earning yourself another badge of his approval. So you just nod in submissive acknowledgement, and he looks at Joel. 

“Keep her in check, will you? I don’t feel like dealing with more of this bullshit in the morning.” 

“Sure,” Joel says. 

That seems to satisfy him, because Jake only gives you another dirty look before he leaves and kicks the door shut behind him. 

Your eyes begin watering against your will, lesser pain than you’ve experienced in the past somehow managing to bring you down. You bite down hard on the inside of your lip as you shift to sit against the wall, hoping a different source of pain will force the blood trickling down your cheek into the background. 

You can’t cry over something like this. Not in front of a man like Joel. 

“I know you’re looking,” you say bitterly. “If you want to call me an idiot, just do it.” 

“You’re an idiot,” he says. You don’t really know what you expect. 

“It’s one hell of a group you’re running with.” You pull your hand away from your cheek, grimacing at the concerning amount of blood coating your fingers. Between this and the dull pain in your knees, you’re going to bruise something fierce. 

Nothing like getting pistol whipped with your own gun by one of the hunters that slaughtered your community like sheep to make you feel at home. 

“They’re the same as everyone else,” he says. “Don’t know how you’re still surprised after all these years.” 

Your thoughts go back to the first group you had to leave. The first time you were forced to be terribly, horribly, woefully selfish, when you lost the only thing that mattered. You wonder if he thinks about you as much as you think about him. 

Screams echo in your mind. You shut them out. 

“...I’m not,” you say. “Just acknowledging.” 

As silence consumes the air between you, you can’t help but pull your legs closer to yourself in an effort to be as small as possible. You’re intimately aware that you’re at Joel’s mercy, and you can only hope he’s not that sort of man. Jake’s comments don’t bring you much solace. 

He must notice how tense you are, because he sighs and shakes his head. “Relax. Ain’t gonna hurt you.” 

“Sorry if I don’t believe that,” you mutter. 

Joel scoffs. “Don’t matter what you believe or not.” 

“Well, I believe that I’m royally fucked,” you spit. “I’ve been here for five hours and I’m already bleedin’ and stuck in a room with you. Doesn’t fare well for my future.”

“How’d you even end up here?” Joel asks. “We ain’t exactly bringing in new folks.”

You huff. “You weren’t too far off with them kidnapping a doctor.”

He doesn’t seem fazed, and you think that should concern you. “What, they just wander into a hospital and pick you up?”

“They wandered into a high school and murdered my whole community,” you correct. “I’m only here because I pleaded my case before they could shoot me.”

“...Wound does feel better,” he says. “Least you kinda know what you’re doing.” 

You glance away. “Bandaged more GSWs these past few years than I ever did in med school. I’m used to it by now.”

There’s another knock on the door and your whole body tenses. Joel calls out that it’s unlocked, and you’ve never been so grateful to see the woman from before. Nadine’s sister, you remember— Rachel. She breathed over your shoulder the entire time you fixed up her sister’s sling. 

“You better?” she asks. 

He nods. “Back on my feet, at least.” 

“Good,” she says. She seems to notice you, bleeding and deflated and restrained, and looks back at Joel unfazed. “What’s the deal here?” 

“Jake did it,” he says. “Wants to keep her in check.” 

“Long as it means she’s not a problem, I couldn’t care less,” she admits. “But you gotta get your ass in gear, Joel. Community meeting in the lobby.” 

“Y’all woke me up at four in the morning,” Joel complains. “Can’t let an old man sleep day after he gets shot?” 

“You said it yourself; you’re back on your feet,” she says. “Better see you in five.” 

She leaves and closes the door behind her, not even passing a second look at you. You felt less alone when you were moping your way through Missouri. 

Joel heaves a sigh and stands up. He grabs his jacket from the bed and slips it back on, buttoning it up in the middle. You watch him go through the motions because you have nothing else to do, but you notice the roughness of his hands. 

“You gonna do anything about those torn calluses?” you ask. 

He glances at you with a frown. “Why’re you lookin’?” 

“Got nothing else to do,” you say. “You don’t cover those up, they could lead to infection.” 

“Sounds like everything can lead to infection,” he mocks. 

“Kinda does,” you say. “‘Specially in this world.” 

Joel huffs a laugh and he pulls a couple bandaids out of your medical bag, still sitting on his bed. “That good enough for you?” 

“Don’t do it for me,” you say. “Do it for yourself.” 

He grumbles as he tucks them into his pocket, and you continue to watch him as he gets ready. Ties up his boots, shoves knives into sheaths on each leg, fixes the watch on his wrist—

“Quit starin’ at me,” he mumbles. 

“I told you,” you say. “Nothin’ else to do.” 

“Look at the wall,” Joel says as he slings a rifle over his shoulder. “More interesting than me.” 

“The wall doesn’t have your overwhelming charm,” you say. 

He scoffs. “Can’t believe I’m stuck with you.” 

You shrug. “Can always kill me yourself and be done with it.” 

“Who’ll save me when I crash in the middle of the night?” he mocks. 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” you say. “You patched yourself up, after all.”

Joel exhales a little harder than usual out of your nose, and you figure that’s what passes as a laugh around him. You take a strange amount of pride in it. 

You think he’s about to leave, but instead he picks up your medical bag and slides it over to you. 

“Patch yourself up for a change,” he says. “Don’t want you bleedin’ all over this expensive flooring while I’m gone.” 

That gets the slightest laugh out of you as you pick it up. “Thanks.” 

Joel grunts in acknowledgement, and he moves over to the door. You start unzipping the bag but have to pause, the sight of your blood all over your hand making you grimace. You’ve gotten some on your jeans unwittingly, and you can’t help but sigh. Sure, they’re already covered in dust and grime and blood from other people, but you didn’t want to add yours to the mix. Especially on your favorite pair of jeans. 

Maybe you’d be able to scrounge a bottle of hydrogen peroxide up sometime. It’s the least this world could give you. 

You look up to see Joel standing in the door frame, looking at you instead of leaving. 

“You’re gonna be late,” you say. “Then we’ll both be on Jake’s shit list.” 

Joel blinks. He looks like he wants to say something, but he just nods. 

“See you ‘round,” he says. 

“Not like I can go anywhere,” you say wryly. 

You go back to rummaging through your bag, trying to find the gauze you haphazardly shoved back in. Joel’s still looking at you, and his gaze burns your skin. You hope if you ignore him, he’ll leave. 

He does. He shuts the door behind him when he leaves, quieter and gentler than you expect. 

You stare at your hands, one bloodstained and the other cuffed. You’ve taken care of your calluses better than Joel, at least. 

The thought is warmer than it should be. 

Makes you realize how cold the room feels.

-

Joel doesn’t come back for a while. Half the day, you think. 

It’s difficult to keep track of time in here. With the door closed and the window shutters down, what little light streams through doesn’t give you much of an idea of the hour. 

You also don’t really have much to do, which makes the time pass even slower. 

You clean your cheek out the best you can and tape it shut with some small butterfly bandages. You hope that’ll make it heal quicker, or at least keep it protected from the elements. You can’t let it get infected after all you’ve spouted to Joel. 

It still smarts, but you try your best to ignore it. Jake did a number on you, and with your own pistol at that. 

He might have spared your life, but you’re killing him before you escape this place. 

You try to sleep, but it doesn’t really work. You’re exhausted, plain and simple, but you think your body will have to give out for you to get some rest at this point. The position you’re stuck in is too damn uncomfortable for your brain to shut off, and every time you get close, you just see the bodies of your friends, see the same nightmares you’ve relived for a year and a half. 

So instead, you decide to test your boundaries. 

You’re handcuffed to one of the middle pipes, which goes all the way down to the ground and about a third of the way up the wall. You use your finger to measure and figure out you have around five inches of leeway with the chain. Not enough to do much of anything with, but still something. 

Once you’re done with that, you just… look around. There isn’t much else to do, but this is Joel’s room. You were a psych minor before the world ended—maybe it’ll give you some insight into him, give you something to use. You’re not above manipulation if it means you can get someone on your side. 

But frustratingly, there’s almost nothing. It’s not like you expect him to have a whole decorated room in the apocalypse, but he’s really giving you nothing here. 

An open pack of bullets sits on his bedside table. His sheets are still a mess from his rude awakening because he didn’t bother to make his bed before he left. The extra unused pillows lay scattered on the ground, 

So you can’t analyze him using his barebones room—you have nothing but time, so you think back to how he looked before he left and go from there. 

Joel’s beard and facial hair were both relatively under control, so he’s someone who cares a decent amount about cleanliness and hygiene. He carries two knives and a rifle outwardly, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he had a handgun hiding somewhere or more weapons in his bag. He speaks with a Southern accent—stronger than yours, but you lost some of it while you were studying in Boston. 

You used to not mind. People seemed to respect you more without it, seemed to take you more seriously, and that was all you wanted in med school. Now, it just feels like another part of yourself that you’ve lost. Like you can’t even call yourself an Okie anymore. 

He looks to be in his forties, but you don’t remember a wedding ring. Whether he’s been a life-long bachelor or loved and lost and just chooses not to wear it, you don’t know. From what you’ve seen, all hardened survivor-like, it’s hard to imagine him with a wife and kids and a white picket fence life. 

But what do you know? Anyone who’s still alive at this point has to have a hardened heart. There’s no other way to survive. There’s a reason you’re fucking handcuffed to a radiator. 

Maybe before this all started, Joel was kinder. Softer. Maybe he did have a wife and kids, and he loved them more than anything. Maybe he actually smiled. 

You shake your head. No use thinking of the past, and certainly no use judging him. You’ve changed too. Everyone has. And if he has a family that he lost, then you’ve got more in common than you think. 

Maybe you can use that. 

Joel is covered in blood when he eventually comes back into the room. He gives you half a glance before he pulls his pack and rifle off and sets them on the bed. 

“Can’t believe you’re still here,” he says. 

“Can’t exactly leave,” you respond. “How’re you all bloody after a meeting?”

“Went huntin’ after,” he says. “Things move quick here.” 

“Well, how’d that go?”   

“We ain’t gonna starve, so as good as it could be.” Joel passes another glance at you, this time a little longer. “Your cheek looks better.” 

“Feels like shit,” you say. “How’s your chest?” 

“Feels like shit,” he echoes. “But I’ll live.” 

“None of that blood is yours, is it?” 

“No.” He points his finger at you. “And you’re not doin’ another checkup, doc, so don’t even think about it.” 

You smile sweetly and hold up your shackled wrist. “Couldn’t even if I wanted to.” 

Joel huffs. “Still can’t believe Jake did this. Like he’s tryin’ to punish me, sticking you with me.” 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I feel like they’re punishing me by sticking you with me too.” 

“You can’t be stuck with me,” Joel says. “This is my room. You’re the intruder.”

“I’m real threatening, huh?” you mock. “So much so that I gotta be restrained.” 

“Threatening, no. Annoying, yes.” 

“You’re too kind,” you drawl. You watch him unpack some more, then you purse your lips. “Y’know, you really shouldn’t have gone hunting when you got shot a couple days ago.” 

“Was only half a mile out.” Joel scoffs. “There you go provin’ my point.” 

You hum. “Guess you really are stuck with me, then.”

“Lucky me,” he mutters. 

-

Joel is in and out for the rest of the day, and even when he’s in you don’t really talk. When he comes back for the night he at least brings some stale bread and a small ration of meat for you—you and your growling stomach are appreciative, but it makes you feel like a prisoner even more than the handcuffs. 

What’s worse is how annoyed he seems about it all. Like this was your choice—like you not only chose to throw in with these people, but you chose to stick yourself with him. You think about telling Joel that, but you decide against it. 

Just because he said he wouldn’t hurt you doesn’t mean he won’t go back on his word. People tend to not really care about their word these days. 

You try to make small talk, but he doesn’t give. Eventually, when he settles in for the night, you decide to try as well. 

It’s even more uncomfortable than when you tried earlier. You lay down on the ground, you lean against the radiator, you settle against the wall— it doesn’t matter what position you try because they all cause some part of your body to start hurting within minutes. 

You thought it would be easier, considering how many nights you’ve spent sleeping on hardwood floors and cold dirt, but it’s not. Blame it on your privilege from the bed in your previous compound or the unsettling nature of being stuck in a stranger’s room or the endless nightmares that follow you wherever you go—it doesn’t really matter. 

A few pathetic hours of tossing and turning pass, and Joel ends up throwing a pillow and a blanket in your direction. When you thank him, he just grunts in response and goes back to sleep. 

It makes it a little easier. Makes you feel a bit better about your forced company, at least. 

Jake comes by in the morning to send Joel on his way for whatever task he has to do that day and pick you up. He unlocks your cuffs and takes you on the world’s shortest version of rounds. You look at Becca’s leg wound (no infection), ensure Nadine is resting her arm (she is), and by the time it’s Joel’s turn, he’s already out and about. 

Turns out him lounging in bed was an oddity caused by being shot the day before, because you and Jake find him in the parking lot with a couple others getting ready to go out on a supply run.

“You know, you really should be resting,” you say as you walk up to him. 

Joel scoffs when he sees you approaching and puts the last bullet into his rifle’s magazine. He’s got his sleeves rolled up, allowing you to see the slight ripple of his forearm muscles as he pushes the bolt back into place. 

“I’m fine,” he says. “Certainly don’t need you followin’ me around.” 

He grimaces a little when he stands up, and though he hides it well, you see his arm move for just a millisecond as he fights an instinct to press against his wound. 

“Clearly,” you respond dryly. “Look, I know what I’m talking about.” 

“You look like you learned medicine from watching Sesame Street.” 

You scowl. “I know more than you ever will. Just like how I know that if you ain’t careful, you’re gonna ruin all my hard work.” 

“I’m not gonna run a marathon, so stop bothering me, will ya?” 

“I’m your doctor,” you say. “This isn’t bothering.” 

“You’re not a doctor,” he says. “And you’re certainly not mine.”

“I am one, and certainly the closest thing you’ve got to one,” you huff. “You’re not dead, are you?” 

He rolls his eyes. “Just keep your mouth shut. It’ll do you a lot more good around here than whatever the hell you’re doing.”

“If you just let me do my check up, I would be gone already,” you insist. “Instead, you’ve gotta be a stubborn asshole.” 

Joel looks behind you at Jake. “You put her up to this?” 

He shrugs. “None of us really want you to drop dead out there, I ‘spose.” 

He groans and shakes his head—you’d think you were asking him to shoot his mother the way he’s protesting. But eventually, he sits back down and does a flourish with his hand. 

“Make it quick,” he tells you. 

“I’ll do it well,” you retort. “Pull your shirt up.” 

Joel does, revealing the bottom half of his chest once again, and there’s a whistle behind you. You see Joel shoot an absolutely scathing look out of your peripherals, and you do your best to ignore it all. 

The gauze is bloody, but it isn’t soaked through. You remove the dressings and redo them, glancing up on occasion to make sure you’re not hurting him. He doesn’t grimace or wince, but when he tenses every time your fingers brush against his bare skin. 

“Sorry,” you murmur. “I should’ve asked if I could touch you.” 

“I don’t care,” he says, but you feel him shift anyways. 

The rest of it goes by pretty quickly, since you did all the important work yesterday. Once you’re done, you zip your medical bag up and nod. 

“You’re good to go,” you say. “Just keep it clean to avoid infection. And don’t get shot again.” 

He snorts. “Don’t plan on it.” 

Joel walks off to rejoin the other hunters, and you watch him go until Jake clears his throat behind you. 

“Time for you to start payin’ your keep, little lady,” he says. 

You hum. “So I don’t just get to stay handcuffed to a radiator all day?” 

He pushes you with the barrel of his gun to get you moving, and you stumble into a walk. “I hope you’re better at maintenance than you are at jokes.” 

You just sigh and bite your tongue. He sucks, but he’s not actively threatening you. Might be the least you can ask for, at this point. 

-

Your keep, it turns out, is doing miscellaneous chores. 

You do laundry. You clean rooms. You help reinforce the wall. Bits and ends of a lot of different odd jobs, but you honestly don’t mind. It’s better than sitting in Joel’s room, shackled to a radiator and going stir-crazy. 

The one bad thing about leveraging your skills is that it makes you useful, and therefore, important. These people can’t risk you running out on them when there’s new injuries to deal with every day, so you’re constantly being watched. 

Random survivors that run off are just freeing up space and food. Random doctors that run off are risking lives. 

Jake tries to make conversation, and it’s painful, but you go along with it. You swear your cheek hurts every time you look at him—he doesn’t even apologize for it, even though he’s there in the background the entire day. You want to ask him if he has any other job than to stand around you and threaten you into submission with a shotgun, but you decide to keep your mouth shut. 

Night is falling by the time you finish things up, and you sit on a milk crate in the parking lot with another stale piece of bread and half a can of beans as your dinner. Not the most glamorous, but enough to fill you up. 

You’re beginning to think it’ll be an uneventful night when you hear yelling. 

“Open the fucking gate, now!” It’s Joel’s voice, angry and frantic. “We’ve got wounded!” 

You jump into action before you even really know what you’re doing and run to the wall, following two other men that were eating their own dinner in the parking lot. Jake is on your heels as the three of you push the dumpster working as the world’s worst gate out of the way. 

“The fuck happened?” Jake yells. 

“The fuck you think happened?” another one responds. “Runners and hunters and—”

“And Paul’s fuckin’ bleeding out,” a woman continues, out of breath as she runs in. 

You look up to see Joel bringing him over in a fireman’s carry, and you meet each other’s eyes. You let out a deep breath and nod, then pull your jacket off and lay it on the ground. You snap your fingers at another one of the supply runners. “Gimme your jacket.” 

He frowns and looks at Joel, and he narrows his eyes. “You fuckin’ deaf? Do what she says.” 

He does, thankfully, and you put it down next to yours. “Put him down, Joel.” 

Joel shifts him off his back slowly then squats down to get him on his feet. Paul’s knees buckle and Joel catches him, then lowers him to the ground. 

“Go get my medical bag,” you say. “It’s in your room.” 

He nods and runs off, and you look down at your patient. The top half of his shirt is completely soaked with blood, but you see it’s coming from his arm. You put as much pressure on the wound as you can, ignoring his groan of pain. At least that means he’s still alive. Unconscious, but alive. 

You look at another one of the supply runners. “What the hell happened to him?” 

“One o’ the hunters shot ‘em in the arm,” he says. 

“And where the hell is Daniel?” Jake suddenly says. “And Lee?” 

“What the hell do you think?” the woman spits. “They got bullets in the head before we even knew what was happening— runners had us distracted.” 

“And you thought it was smart to lead ‘em right back here?” Jake asks incredulously. 

“We already lost two,” she grits. “I wasn’t gonna lose a third.” 

“God fucking damn it!” he yells, and he points at the men that helped you open the gate. “Close the damn wall off, get your damn guns, and shoot on fucking sight! You hear me?” 

They nod and get to work, and Jake runs off just as Joel gets back. He has your bag in his hand and you look up at him. 

“Get down here,” you say. “I need your help.”

He nods and kneels down beside you, setting your bag next to you. 

“Put pressure on the wound,” you say. “I’m trying to stop the bleeding, but I think the bullet hit his ulnar artery. That’s why it’s gushin’ like hell.” 

Again, Joel does what you ask without questioning you. You’re thankful that everyone is listening to you when you need it—you only hope he survives this so they give you a little more leeway in the future. 

You rifle through your bag until you get your water and gauze. You push Joel’s hands out of the way and you hastily clean the wound, just enough to ensure any dirt and debris is gone. You start packing the bullet hole with gauze, again ignoring his groans as you push it in deep. You do the same to the exit wound so you don’t have to get your ungloved fingers all the way in his arm—thank god, because dealing with bullet fragments is a headache you don’t think you can handle right now. 

You see Jake run past with a number of people behind him. You recognize some of them from the raid on your commune, and it makes you realize your patient wasn’t one of them. 

They all have their guns drawn out of an abundance of caution, and you think it’s a bit ridiculous, but you keep your focus where it’s supposed to be. You get Joel to apply pressure again while you check Paul’s pulse, two fingers on his neck then his wrist. It’s weak, but it’s there, and right now that’s all you need. 

You’re just about to let yourself take it down a notch when a bullet whizzes right past your ear and buries itself into the pavement. 

Your scream gets stuck in your throat, and your hand flies up to your ear on instinct. You can’t even tell if you’re bleeding because there’s already so much on you. Guess it wasn’t ridiculous. 

Joel instantly shoots up from your side, bloodied hands already pulling his rifle off his back. He’s fired before you know what’s happening, and you lunge back over to put pressure on the wound again.  

A firefight erupts immediately. Jake and another woman are yelling orders, and you can’t see whoever is shooting at you all but your only thought is that of your patient. 

You watch Joel take another shot, and then he looks over his shoulder at you. 

“Get out of here!” he yells, fire burning in his eyes. You don’t need to be told twice. 

You slip your arms underneath Paul’s shoulders and stand up, then you pull him up as much as you can. You start dragging him, a mixture of adrenaline and pure willpower getting you through it. You get to the infirmary, thankful you stopped by there earlier when Jake was putting you through the gauntlet of odd jobs, and you get him onto a bed. 

You check his pulse once more—still there at a similar strength. His wound isn’t actively gushing blood anymore, and he’s regained some color in his face. Since it’s not worse, you collapse into a chair next to the bed. 

Gunshots ring out in rapid succession, and each one makes you wince. You would join to help, but you don’t have your fucking gun. At least if Jake gets shot, you’ll be able to get it back. 

You don’t think you have any friends here. But god, you really hope Joel makes it out unscathed. 

-

You don’t get to relax for very long. Three more wounded get brought in over the course of twenty minutes, each facing death in different ways. When the second is carried in, you force the escort to run out and get your medical bag, then stay with you so you can delegate. You only have two hands and you can't do every goddamn thing at once. 

One man dies almost immediately. He took a couple bullets to the chest and one hit an artery. He bleeds out before you can even start trying to pack one of his wounds. You can’t even take a moment of silence for him because your second patient starts crashing. 

It all blends together, honestly. Reminds you of the times you were with the code team for a shift, when everything was a life or death situation and everything could go wrong at once. But there’s only so much you can do in a motel room without any hospital equipment. 

You tie a tourniquet with pieces of your shirt and a stick from outside. You pack wounds once more. You drag chairs and pillows around to elevate limbs. You put pressure on the wounds until they stop bleeding. You get blood on every damn thing you touch because you haven’t been able to find latex gloves anywhere for the past two years. 

There’s only so much you can do when you have so little. 

Eventually, though, it settles down. The gunshots stop, the bleeding stops, and the pulses get stronger. Everyone that was alive stays alive over the next few hours, coming in and out of consciousness. It’s still quiet, though, because most of them immediately fall back asleep. Getting shot takes a lot out of you. 

Your assistant leaves after the first hour when you assure him you can handle the rest. You wish the sinks worked so you could get all this fucking blood off your hands, but you wipe off what you can and deal with the rest. Your shirt’s already covered in it. 

Maybe you’ll convince Jake to let you go on a supply run so you can stop by a lake or something. You don’t want to waste what little water you have on cleanliness, but you make a point not to touch your face more than you have to. The last thing you need is to get an infection because you got blood in your eye or something—you think that would be the stupidest way for you to die. 

You’re rifling through the barebones medicine cabinet, trying to see what would help in case of an emergency, when you hear approaching footsteps. You turn around to see Joel, and you can’t help but smile. 

“Joel,” you say, relief rampant in your voice, “you made it.” 

“So did you,” he says. He doesn’t sound half as glad as you do, but you’ve learned over the past two days that he doesn’t tend to show emotions other than anger. “How are they?” 

“One’s dead, three are alive,” you say with a gesture. “Dunno their names besides Paul, so I guess you can spread the word.” 

Joel nods as he looks at each of them. Again, he hides his emotions well—if he feels a particular way about any of them, he doesn’t show it. Eventually, he looks back at you.

“How are you?” His eyes trail up and down your body. “Any of that blood yours?” 

“Thankfully, no,” you say. “The worst is over. I found some antibiotics, so hopefully we’ll be able to avoid any infections. Barring those or any freak changes, the rest should make it.” 

“Good,” he says. 

“Any of that blood yours?” you ask, inclining your head. He already has a fair amount of dried blood on his jacket—comes with the territory of being Joel, you think—but there’s some fresh. 

“No,” Joel says. “We got most of the hunters, but some ran off. Couple of us went after ‘em to finish the job.” 

“Did you?”

“Yes,” he says. “Tracked ‘em to their camp and did what we had to do.” 

You nod. Seems these people are pretty good at taking out other communes, Joel especially. 

He probably wasn’t in the group that killed your people because of his gunshot. Had he been healthy, you bet he would have slaughtered them like all the rest. 

But he didn’t. And he’s shown you more kindness in his own way than anyone else here has.  

You realize hypotheticals don’t really matter to you as long as the bullet ends up in someone else’s head. You don’t really know what that says about you. 

So you look back up at Joel and ask, “We safe for the night?” 

“Yes.” 

You nod again. “Okay.” 

And that’s that. 

-

You spend the next few days in the infirmary watching over your patients. Jake is in and out, mostly checking in during the day to ask about the injured and make sure you’re not about to run away. When he stays, he lets his shotgun rest against the wall rather than keeping it pointed at you. Maybe he trusts you more—you think it’s more likely he assumes you won’t run because you have critical patients.

He’s right. You don’t know them, and you only know Paul’s name, but you feel like you have to save them—have to save him. 

Maybe it’s because this guy wasn’t part of the group that killed yours, maybe it’s because you think he’s your age, maybe it’s because he looks shockingly similar to Connor. But you feel a strange amount of obligation to this man to save his life. 

Even if you were in here alone, you don’t think you would run. Guess the Hippocratic Oath stays with you even after the world has ended. 

On the third night, Joel comes in. He has a bottle of water, your rations, and your jacket. 

“You left it in the parking lot,” he says when he hands it to you. “I picked it up when we got back from the hunt.” 

“...Thanks,” you say. You’ve been in these bloodstained clothes for way too long, but you don’t really have any changes. You were ripped out of your community as a prisoner, after all. 

You pull your shirt off and slip into your flannel. Even though some of the blood soaked through to your skin, you already feel better. You’re doing up the buttons when you realize Joel has turned his head, making a point not to look at you. 

“Uh, sorry,” you say. “I didn’t really think you’d care.”

“Figure at least one person here should respect your privacy,” Joel says. 

You chuckle. It’s oddly touching from someone like him. 

“Thanks.” 

You hang your shirt on the back of your chair. It kinda is your only top, so you can’t just go throwing it away. You’ll get it clean eventually. 

“The number’s down,” Joel says, looking at the beds. “Maya’s good?”

“I guess.” You still don’t know their names. “Bleedin’ stopped, and she was talking up a storm. Sutured her wound, gave her some pain meds, and sent her on her way.” 

“Good. How’re the rest doing?”

“Okay,” you say. “I’m mostly just waiting until they’re consistently awake and making sure the wounds don’t get infected.”

“You talk an awful lot ‘bout infections.”

You shrug. “Out here, they’re usually a death sentence.”

“Noted,” he says wryly. 

The two of you stand there for a while. The silence is awkward, but but you prefer that over the heaviness of the first night. 

“Just make sure you get some sleep,” he finally says. “You won’t be much good if you’re fallin’ asleep when we need you.”

You chuckle. “Noted.”

Joel nods again and walks off. You sit back down in your uncomfortable chair, ready for another night of anxiety, when he stops in the doorframe and speaks up.

“I’m sorry ‘bout how you ended up here,” he says carefully, as if he’s unsure of his words. “But it’s probably a good thing someone like you is at this motel.”

You smile. You think this is the first time you’ve heard him be this genuine.

“Thanks, Joel,” you say. “You’re a stubborn jackass, but you don’t make for a bad roommate.”

That gets the smallest laugh out of him. “Night, doc.”

“Night, Joel,” you say softly. 

-

Things change after that week. 

Joel looks at you differently. Everyone does, honestly—no one thinks you’re lying anymore, thinks you’re some naive twenty-something. You can hold your own, and you’re not someone to mess with. 

But not everything changes. 

(“Are you fucking kidding me?” you protest when Jake takes you back into Joel’s room. “I save three of your men and you still don’t trust me?”

“I trust you to save my men, not stay put,” he says. Since you don’t offer your hand, he just grabs your arm, pulls you forward, and locks the cuff around your wrist. “And you’re more important than ever now, little lady.”

You lunge at him, but you come up just short when Jake steps out of your range. He tuts and shakes his head at you. 

“No need for that,” he says. “I’d hate to ruin that pretty face all over again.”

“This really necessary?” Joel asks, a hard edge to his voice. 

Jake shrugs. “Way you’ve been spendin’ time with her, figure you’d jump at the chance to have her to yourself. Just don’t break her.” 

Joel clenches his jaw as Jake leaves, letting out a growl when the door shuts.  

“Un-fuckin-believable,” you mutter. Now you’re sure you’re going to put a bullet in his head before you get out of here. 

“Took the words outta my mouth,” he grumbles. 

“You wanna shoot him for me?” you ask. 

Joel shakes his head as he sits back down on his bed. “Not yet.”

You blink. “Not yet?”

He grunts. “Ain’t talking about this with you.”

So you don’t. You don’t say much because he doesn’t say much—after your conversation with Joel in the infirmary, you’re not too keen on annoying him.)

You’re good enough to save lives but still can’t be trusted on your own. Maybe it’s actually a smart move, because you spend every spare moment thinking about ways to escape and ways to put Jake six feet under. 

You also can’t stop thinking about Joel’s words: not yet. 

You might have found an ally in the most unexpected place.

Another week passes with more of the same.

You check on your patients who have all survived their wounds. They’re out of commission for another week at least, but they’re alive. You finally have a conversation with Paul and he’s so much like your brother you want to cry.

You do the chores asked and now expected of you, and though you mainly keep to yourself, you find a friend in a woman named Trish when you spend a few afternoons together sewing up holes in clothes.  

Though you’re still not trusted alone and you don’t have your own room or the freedom to move around at night, you’re no longer expected to spend every moment inside the walls. You end up doing weekly supply runs with Joel and you don’t hate it as much as you thought you would.

They never let you take the horses out, and you still don’t get a fucking gun. Apparently, you’re still a flight risk. 

They’re not wrong, but you wish they would fall for it. It would be so easy to run with a horse.

So instead you’re given a knife, and you and Joel have to set out on foot each time. Always you and Joel, because apparently you can’t get away from each other. Maybe they think he’ll kill you if you do try to run. Maybe they can see you’re starting to warm up to him. 

You don’t know, and you don’t particularly care. Joel has made it clear he won’t hurt you if you don’t try to hurt him, so you feel safe hunting with him. Besides, he’s a killer shot and you’re great with a knife, so you make a good team either way. He even gives you his revolver to use on the road sometimes, though you always have to return it before you’re back at the motel. 

But if Joel is looking at you differently because of a newfound respect, you’re looking at him differently because of newfound feelings. 

He’s handsome, anyone can see that—gruff and grizzled and muscled from the life of a survivor. He has sharp, dark eyes that narrow at everything, so much so that you bet his crows feet are from years of distrust rather than years of laughter.

You never really paid attention to it at the beginning because you were terrified you were going to die. Anything you tried to figure out about him or his life was in the name of survival, was about pinning him down in order to manipulate him. 

Joel is angry and impatient and mean, and he's probably killed a hundred different people in a hundred different ways in the name of survival—but since that night he visited you in the infirmary, you swear he’s softened around you. 

Quite frankly, it’s ridiculous. He’s at least fifteen years your elder, this is the apocalypse, and you’re still in a camp full of enemies. You have no time to be making heart eyes at Joel.

So you don’t make heart eyes. Instead, you just stare at him like you normally do and tell him he’s crazy when he questions you about it. 

But god, it isn’t easy. You spend more time with Joel than anyone else—you guess he’s your Jake-appointed chaperone now—and the second time you go out on a supply run with him, you run across a lake. 

You convince him to stay for a bit so you can wash off, finally cracking when you swear to him you still have lingering blood on your hands from your night running the camp ER. You strip down to your undergarments with little care and dive in, and when you catch Joel looking you up and down in what he thinks is a covert way, you think your heart might burst. 

It’s been a while since you’ve done… well, anything sex-wise. You doubt you will ever get there with Joel, mostly because you’re going to take these feelings to your early grave, but you’re allowing yourself to be delusional when absolutely everything else in your life sucks.

After all the shit you’ve been through, you think you deserve it. 

You end up having to cut your luxury excursion short when you hear the distinct croaking of stalkers. Joel grumbles the whole time you’re getting dressed, saying you’re gonna be the death of him and this was stupid and he regrets ever saying yes to you, but he puts himself in front of you every time he thinks he sees one. 

It’s the little things. 

Two weeks later, on your fourth supply run, things go a little differently. 

Everything close by has been picked clean either by Joel’s group or people traveling through the area, so Jake and Marcos, the group leaders, decide that you’re going to go out farther than usual in order to get more supplies. Even though you go out every week, and other people hunt when they can, but it’s not enough. 

You’re fine with it and Joel grudgingly agrees to it, so after getting some extra rations and water just in case, you set out on your way. 

You find an abandoned convenience store when you’re walking down the side of a road that still has some water, meds, and cigarettes behind a couple toppled over shelves. It’s better than nothing.

When you venture into the woods you find a house. Joel insists on going first in case anyone’s inside—he checks the bedroom and the kitchen and says they’re clear. When he’s going up the stairs with his gun drawn, you a few paces after him on the bottom step, you get grabbed from behind. 

Your scream of surprise gets Joel’s attention immediately, and there’s a knife to your throat before you even know what’s happening. Joel has his gun trained on the head of whoever’s got you just as fast. 

“Let her go,” he says. 

“Not everyday I get a couple bargin’ into my house,” your captor says smoothly. He has one of your arms in an iron grip, and your other hand is an open palm to convince him you’re not a threat. “She’s too pretty for you, don’t you think?” 

“Joel—”

“Let her go,” he growls. 

“Y’all were gonna steal from me,” the man says. “Don’t see how we can walk out of here all friendly-like.” 

He presses the blade into your throat just enough to draw a thin line of blood, and you clench your jaw so hard you think your teeth might crack. Joel meets your eyes, and they actually have something in them you haven’t seen before—fear.

“What d’you want?” Joel asks. 

“I think you know what I want,” he says. His grip on you tightens and something inside of you snaps. 

You stomp on his foot as hard as you can. He grunts, the action shocking him more than it hurts, but his grip loosens and that’s all you need. You move faster than him as you rip your knife from your belt and reel it backwards to stab him in the gut. You grab his wrist and wrench it to the side, giving you the space to turn away from him and kick him in the chest. He falls to the ground, you pull Joel’s revolver out, and you shoot him in the head. 

Your breaths are coming out as pants by now, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you stare at his dead body. Pools of blood are already forming behind his head and gut, and you feel nothing but red-hot rage. 

You’re so fucking sick of men thinking they can take whatever they want, thinking they have a right to whatever they want. You’re honestly glad this happened. It meant you got to put a bullet in his head. 

Joel says your name and you realize it’s the third time. You can barely hear him over the ringing in your ears. 

“You’re bleeding.” 

“I feel fine,” you say. This isn’t the first person you’ve killed, you want to tell him, far from it. This isn’t the first time you’ve killed to save your life, you want to tell him. 

For some reason, the words don’t form. 

“He tried to slit your throat,” he says. “You’re not fine.”

“Still standing, ain’t I?” 

He says your name again, a bit stronger this time. “You’re bleeding. You need to sit down.” 

“I’m—”

“If you say you’re fine again, I’ll throw you over my shoulder and get you out of here myself.” 

You huff. “Now you know how I felt that first night.” 

Joel shakes his head. “Always gotta be right, don’t you?” 

“You know me,” you say faintly. 

You do sit down, eventually, if only because Joel looks like he would absolutely make good on his promise. You sit on the third step and he goes one below you, and you pull your medical bag out of your pack. 

“I can clean it out,” you say as you rifle through it for your gauze. “Your hands are probably dirty.” 

“Y’know, I’m not a complete idiot,” Joel says. “Remember when you said my bandaging was good?” 

“I said it was passable,” you correct. 

“‘Good enough to keep you alive’, I recall.”

“And you think I want good enough?” 

You finally get to your gauze—you swear, it falls to the bottom every time—when Joel puts his hand on your wrist. It’s gentler than you expect, even with the calluses. 

“Let me do it,” he insists. “Need to feel fuckin’ useful somehow.” 

You stare at him, hoping your pupils aren’t dilated or something else just as stupid to reveal that your heart is beating out of your chest. 

“That’s what this is about?” you whisper. 

Joel clenches his jaw and glances away. “He could have killed you and I just stood there.” 

“You didn’t have a clear shot,” you say. 

“I should have made one,” he says. “Out here, we’re a team. Partners. You don’t let your partner get grabbed.” 

“We had no idea he was here.” 

“I should have known,” Joel says roughly. “I shoulda known and I shoulda stopped him and you wouldn’t have had to kill him.” 

You cover his hand with yours before you can doubt yourself, and Joel looks back at you, surprised. He doesn’t pull away. 

“It was a mistake, and we got out of it,” you say. “If we’re partners, then you can’t put all the weight on your shoulders and none on mine. I held my own, didn’t I?” 

Joel doesn’t respond, and you sigh. 

“If they keep sendin’ us out on these things, then you’ll save my ass so many more times,” you continue. “And I’ll save yours, and we’ll joke about it when we get back to that shitty motel and Jake locks me to the radiator for the hundredth time.” 

“So it don’t matter that I pulled more weight this time,” you say. “Because it’s a whole lotta push and pull—you just can’t pull away from me because of this.” 

“Clever,” he says wryly. “You sure you’re not a writer?” 

You manage a smile. “Not even close. Are we good?” 

Joel pauses for a moment, his gaze falling down to your hand on his. He clears his throat and pulls away, then holds his hand out. You huff a laugh and give him the gauze. 

“We’re good,” he nods. 

You sit together in silence as Joel cleans the blood off your neck, only interrupted by your occasional wince. He’s surprisingly gentle with you in a way that you never would have expected, never touching you more than he has to. Your skin burns wherever he does, and it takes everything in you to keep your breathing steady. You don’t want him to know, and you don’t want to mess up his work. 

Joel finishes soon enough, and after a quick investigation in a broken bathroom mirror, you approve. You take what’s left from the house in supplies and then you get out. It takes a little longer because Joel refuses to leave your side—”what if a clicker bursts in through that broken window? You’d be dead like that.”—but you don’t argue. You think it’s sweet, actually, but you don’t tell him that. 

When Joel insists on heading back early, you don’t fight him. When you insist you want to keep his knife back at the motel, even if it has to be a secret, he doesn’t fight you. 

You don’t talk much on the walk back, but things are different. The air is lighter between you two. Joel doesn’t frown at everything. He actually manages to joke around with you. 

Things are different. 

You’re finding out that you don’t really mind. 

-

You go even farther on your next supply run. The area isn’t as scarce as it could be, but Marcos insists on stocking up before summer, when it’s too hot to constantly venture out like this with little water. 

Things are going pretty well, all things considered. You run into a decent amount of clickers over the miles that you’re able to take down with you distracting and Joel stabbing each time. You don’t run into any people, though Joel keeps his head on a swivel.

Eventually, though, it starts to rain. Clear skies shine above you, but you still get drenched within a couple miserable minutes. 

“Where the hell did this come from?” you complain. 

Joel takes a cloth out of his pocket and wipes down his gun. “They not teach the water cycle in schools?” 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” You scowl at the sky. “Was ‘sposed to be clear skies all day.” 

“We’ll just call it short,” he says. “Go back to the motel.” 

“We’re five miles out,” you say. The rain starts coming down harder and you curse. “We’re not making it back without getting soaked.” 

“You can’t handle a little water?” Joel asks. 

“I’m already miserable enough being around you,” you say. “Don’t need to add trench foot to the equation.” 

He shakes his head with a huff. “Fine. I remember a cave a while back— you have another mile in you?” 

“As a matter of fact, I did cross country in high school,” you say. “Also walked a whole lot when I was getting away from the coast.” 

“Always gotta one up me, huh?” 

You smile. “Always.” 

It ends up being a little more than two miles, but you and Joel make quick work of it. Soon enough, after you’ve checked for any infected, you’re sitting in a little grotto waiting out the rain.

You’ve both taken your top layers off to let them dry, alongside your boots and socks. It feels a bit strange, a bit too familiar, to be doing all this with Joel—but like you said, you’re not too fond of trench foot, so you deal with it. 

You sit near the opening of the cave, entranced by the downpour. The tension in your shoulders has slowly dissipated as you’ve watched the storm. There’s something calming about the sight, the sound— the way the world feels once it’s over. 

“You shouldn’t be so close to the outside,” Joel says. Miraculously, the tension comes back. 

“It’s fine,” you say. 

“Ain’t so fine when everyone can see you,” he says. “Ain’t so fine when a passing hunter doesn’t like how you look and puts a bullet between your eyes.” 

You sigh as you adjust your position to look over at him. He’s taken to sharpening a stick with one of his knives. “You always this positive?” 

“I’m realistic,” he says. “How do you think I’ve survived so long?” 

“Well, I’ve survived too,” you say. “And I’m not half the miserable bastard you are.”  

“You’re half my age,” Joel says. “Give it time.” 

You shake your head with a huff. “Got a bright future ahead of me, then.” 

“I’m alive,” he says. “That’s as bright as it can be these days.” 

“That’s so sad,” you murmur, your gaze turning back to the rainfall. 

You hear him stop with his knife. “What’d you say?” 

You know he heard you. Probably just trying to give you a chance to take it back, but you don’t care. “I said it’s sad.” 

“Don’t see how it can be sad,” Joel says. “Survivin’s all anyone wants out here.” 

“Maybe on a base level, but I—” you pause and shake your head again, trying to collect your thoughts. “I got a life I’m trying to build. Things I’m chasin’— things that make this all worth it.” 

“Like I said, you’re half my age.” The joking lilt he’s had fades, and you know you’ve struck a nerve. “Everything you’re trying to get, I’ve already lost.” 

“Joel,” you attempt, but he shakes his head. 

“I built a life and I lost it,” he says. “I’ve trusted people and I’ve paid for it. So don’t act like I’m doin’ all this for no reason.” 

“Then tell me,” you say, bolstered by his tone. “Tell me what you’ve gone through, what justifies this, so we can move past this— this barrier you’ve put between us, and actually get to know each other.” 

“I don’t have to tell you shit,” he grumbles. 

“Fine,” you say. “Then I’ll go.” 

By this point, you’ve shifted your position completely to face him. Joel still won’t look at you, but he’s gone back to sharpening that damn stick. 

“I’m not actually a doctor.” 

Sure enough, that gets his attention. He stops so abruptly that you think he might slice his fingertip off. He doesn’t, but he looks at you incredulously. 

“What?” 

“I’m not a doctor,” you repeat. “Or a surgeon, really.” 

He frowns. “Then how do you know how to do all this shit?” 

“I was studying to be one,” you say. “But I still had a pretty long way to go.” 

Joel glares at you. “How long?”

“I was in my third year of med school when the outbreak started,” you say. “Got to be MS3 for all of two months before everything went to shit.” 

“You didn’t even graduate?” he marvels. 

You shrug. “I passed my boards. Well, Step 1, at least. The world ended before I got to the others—”

“Oh my god,” he mutters. 

“I was still a student doctor,” you assert. “I know plenty—” 

“Not enough,” he interrupts. 

“Enough to keep my patients and myself alive,” you remark. “And more than enough to stitch up your sorry ass.” You gesture at him. “How’s that gunshot feel?” 

Joel just scoffs and shakes his head. He doesn’t look mad, like you thought he would be—just looks shocked, surprised, annoyed. Maybe angry just for the hell of it. 

“Why are you tellin’ me the truth now?” he asks. “No one else is around. I could kill you right now for bein’ a liar—tell the group clickers got to you.” 

“A liar with medical experience is better than nothing,” you say. “From what I’ve seen over the years, folks aren’t too keen on killing people like me. ‘Specially after I saved their people.”

“Besides,” you incline your head, “I don’t think you have the guts. Not after last week.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Joel says. “I’ve killed plenty of people less annoying than you.”

“Well, I don’t go down without a fight,” you say. “And I’m very good at stayin’ awake. So if you decide to go for it, you can’t take the easy way out.” 

He scoffs, but you notice it doesn’t have the malice you’d expect behind it. 

You should be wary. You’re alone together in the middle of nowhere, miles from your group—and they wouldn’t save you if it came down to it. For God’s sake, Joel has a knife in his hand. He could take you down easily enough if he wanted to. Weren’t you terrified of that when you were first stuck in his room a few months ago? 

But you’re not. You can’t deny that you like him anymore, and that could be clouding your judgment, but you’re not scared of him. Not since that night in the infirmary. 

You go back to watching the rain, making a point to have your back to Joel as you do. Maybe as a sign of trust, maybe to show you’re not scared of him—you don’t really know. But nothing happens. He doesn’t stab you in the back, literally or figuratively. 

And eventually, he speaks up.

“I’m from Texas.” 

You laugh wryly. “I tell you I’ve been lyin’ to everyone this whole time and you tell me you’re a Texan.” 

“It’s somethin’,” he says. “Ain’t that what you wanted?” 

You turn around and raise your eyebrows. “Where in Texas?” 

“Grew up in Arlington,” he says. “Was in Austin ‘fore everything went to shit.”

You nod. “That makes sense. The accent and the attitude and everything else.” 

Joel snorts. “‘Everything else’?” 

“The way you carry yourself,” you say. “How stubborn you are. Classic ‘Don’t mess with Texas’. You ever have a bumper sticker like that?” 

That gets an actual laugh out of him. A genuine laugh, a genuine smile. “Hell no. I didn’t need to showboat like that. Sarah woulda never—” 

He stops suddenly, his smile fading just as quickly as it appeared. You feel the moment slipping out of your grasp quicker than you can run after it, and you feel a little desperate. 

“Who’s Sarah?” 

Joel shakes his head. “No one you need to know about.”

Just like that, the moment is gone and the barrier is back up. You try to hide the disappointment you feel. When Joel’s not being a jackass, you really enjoy talking with him. 

“...Okay,” you say. You’ve already pushed him once. You don’t want to push him again on something that brings out that sort of reaction. 

Joel goes back to sharpening the stick. It’s half the size it was before, but he doesn’t let that stop him. He’s got a couple to keep him busy. 

You go back to watching the rain. The downpour continues, and eventually, you hear the crackling of thunder in the distance. 

“Great,” you murmur. 

“You see any flashes?” Joel asks. 

“No lightning,” you say. “Least it ain’t close.” 

“That means we can still get out of here tonight.” 

You shake your head. “No way I’m doin’ seven miles in a thunderstorm.” 

“We went five miles out,” Joel reminds you. 

“And then went two miles off course to get here,” you say. “It’s already getting dark, and these woods have infected. You really wanna go through all that just to get back to that shitty motel?” 

“They got food there,” he says. “We have nothing.” 

“We’ll be fine for a night,” you say. “It’s not like we’re in danger of freezing. We can sleep in shifts so nothing can sneak up on us. We’re tucked away pretty well, anyways.” 

Joel stares at you for a good, long second. You can tell he wants to fight—he always want to fight, you’ve learned—but eventually he lets out a sigh and makes a flippant gesture. 

“Fine,” he concedes. “But we’re leavin’ at first light, rain or not.” 

“Fine,” you echo. 

You’re able to relax a little after that, knowing Joel’s not going to make you hike back to camp in these conditions. 

The rain doesn’t ease up, but as night falls, your anxiety gets the best of you and you end up sitting against the wall, across from Joel. You have a sad little dinner together, the usual of stale bread and meat from whatever animal was hunted that week. 

Soon enough, it’s pitch black outside and you only have the rain and the crickets for company. Better than rain and clickers, you suppose. 

You wish you had a book, or a ball of yarn and some needles, or literally anything to give you something to do other than stare at a cave wall. Joel isn’t much of a talker, even now. 

“I’m from Oklahoma, you know.” You decide to fill in the blanks, unable to take the silence much longer even with the rainstorm. “So we’re two southerners in a pod.” 

“Knew you had some kinda accent,” Joel says. “Just couldn’t place it.” 

“It faded while I was in Boston for med school,” you explain. “I wanted to get out as soon as possible.” 

“How’s it feel, being back in the middle o’ nowhere after spending all your time in the city?” 

You chuckle and look over at him. “You’re not gonna believe it, but I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Born and raised on a cattle ranch in Beaver.”

“No shit,” Joel says incredulously, and he actually smiles. “No shit you’re a farm girl.” 

“Don’t act so surprised!” you exclaim. “I’ve more than held my own out here!” 

“Thought you were some big city hotshot doctor when I first met you,” he says, shaking his head. “Turns out you’re just a farm girl med student.” 

“Well, you’re just a jackass from Texas,” you retort. 

“And you’re a jackass from Oklahoma,” he says. “Guess we ain’t so different after all.” 

You laugh and look away, unable to bite back a smile of your own. “Whatever.” 

That lightness from your walk the past week returns, and you and Joel spend the next few hours just… talking. You do most of it, because getting Joel to talk about his past is like pulling teeth, but you don’t mind. 

You tell him stories from your childhood, what it was like growing up as a rancher’s daughter. How you spent your whole life trying to claw out your roots and how, now that it’s gone, it’s the only thing you want. What undergrad was like, what med school was like, how you spent just as many nights blacked out from alcohol as you did studying until your eyes bled. 

Joel contributes in smaller places, like telling you what he was like as a kid or relaying his own high school stories, because he didn’t go to college. Tells you about his work as a carpenter. You find it hard to imagine a younger Joel when it’s near impossible to look in his eyes and see something other than the world-weary, grizzled survivor he is now, but with his words you’re able to piece it together. It helps that his voice is so nice to listen to when he’s not yelling. 

You want to ask him about Sarah, but you don’t. Things are going so well that you’d be an idiot to ruin it. You hope he trusts you enough one day to tell you. 

In the middle of it all, you realize the way you’re thinking: into the future, long-term future, with Joel a part of it. Your plan from the start has been to bide your time until you can gather enough supplies to run, get your pistol back from Jake and use it to put a bullet in his head, then get the fuck out of here. 

But now you can’t stop thinking about Joel, and you realize you want to keep him in your life. You don’t want to stay here, but you don’t want to leave him. You don’t care if he doesn’t like you the way you do, you don’t care if he doesn’t even want to be your friend—you’re just tired of running from everything and defending yourself with lies. You’re tired of being alone. 

Eventually, you can’t fight your yawns anymore. Joel tells you he’ll take first watch and you can already tell he’ll refute any arguments. You put your jacket and shoes back on and make sure Joel’s revolver is in grabbing distance, then you lay down using your pack as a pillow. 

“Y’know, this is the first time we’re sleepin’ in the same room without a radiator.” 

Joel huffs. “Yeah. You get through the night without runnin’, maybe I can threaten Jake into getting you your own room.” 

“I dunno.” Your eyes are closed at this point, the mixture of Joel’s timbre at a softer volume and the downpour all around you almost lulling you to sleep. “I kinda like being in the same room as you.” You smile. “We can ditch the cuffs, though.” 

Joel is silent for a while. If your brain were sharper, if you weren’t nearly asleep, you might’ve had the sense to worry or be ashamed. You’re sure you’ll regret it in the morning. 

“Get some rest,” he finally says. “You need it.” 

“Night, Joel,” you murmur. “Wake me up in a couple hours or I’ll kill you.” 

He laughs quietly. “Night, doc.”  

-

You dream of your old life. Early mornings on the ranch. Fighting with your brother to get the better chores and swearing you’ll never talk to him again when he gets the ones you want, just to end up racing him to the boundaries of the farm and back to settle disputes as usual. Waking up in the middle of the night to make your favorite dessert for the two of you, homegrown strawberries with whipped cream. 

You dream of the day everything fell apart. Screaming in the hospital and your coworkers being killed and sights so brutal in the streets of Boston that you will never, ever forget them. Connor forces you to keep running through it all, tells you that you can’t stop to save anyone because you’ll die too, and he is not going to let you die. He swears he won’t leave you. 

You dream of the night you saw him for the last time. Having no choice but to break the one promise your mom forced you two to make before she died in your arms, and making another one that you refuse to break for anything. The last time you saw Connor, a night that you’ve relived a million times where you’ve failed to change the story each and every time. 

You wonder what he would think about the kind of person you’ve become. 

-

It’s light outside when you finally wake up. You expect your back to be killing you, but after sleeping against a wall, floor, and radiator for most of the past few months, this was actually kind of comfortable. 

You rub the grogginess out of your eyes and realize there are dried tears on your cheeks. You hope to god you didn’t actually cry in your sleep over some nightmares—you don’t need Joel to see something like that. 

When you sit up, you see Joel cleaning his rifle. 

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he says wryly. 

“Mornin’,” you say, interrupted by a yawn. You have to shield your eyes from the sun, and you’re about to ask him how he’s doing when it hits you. 

“Oh my god— what time is it?” 

Joel says nothing, just focuses on wiping out the barrel. 

You push his shoulder. “Why didn’t you wake me up, you jackass?” 

“You needed your sleep,” he says simply. 

“Like you don’t?” you retort. “You’re twice my age, old man. You need it more than I do.” 

“I’m fine,” he says. “I’ll sleep when we get back to the motel.” 

You scoff. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“And don’t you feel so much better?” 

You shake your head as you stand up and begin to gather your things. “First light, my ass.” 

Joel sighs. “Helpin’ you out is a thankless job.” 

Though you want to stay mad, it’s a champagne problem that you get over it pretty quickly. You feel more refreshed than you have since you ended up in this group, and considering you were sleeping on a cave floor with your backpack as a pillow, things aren’t really going to be better for you back in Joel’s room. 

You give him a grudging thank you right before you’re about to leave, and he accepts with a smugness that makes you regret it. 

You make casual small talk for the first mile, but things go in a different direction when Joel pops an unexpected question on you. 

“Who’s Connor?”

You trip over your own feet, and you know it’s wishful thinking to hope he didn’t see it. You regain your footing and keep walking, making a point to not look at him. 

“Where’s this coming from?” Your words might come out a little too aggressive, but you don’t really care right now. 

“You talked in your sleep half the night,” Joel says. “Kept muttering about some guy named Connor, how you didn’t wanna leave him.”

“It’s none of your business,” you say. 

“You don’t get to pull that shit with me after tryin’ to go all Twenty Questions last night,” he insists. “You told me ‘bout half your life anyways.” 

Just because you told him about inconsequential childhood and college things doesn’t mean you owe him actually important stuff. You can do what he did and just shut him down again, and every other time if he happens to ask again. 

But you were preaching all that shit about togetherness and getting to know each other and breaking down the barrier. Joel might be a hypocrite, but you have to be better than Joel. 

“...He’s my brother,” you finally say. The words feel heavier saying them to him for some reason. 

“He dead?” Joel asks. Leave it to him to be blunt. 

“No,” you say roughly, hastily. “No, I—” 

You swallow the lump in your throat and shake your head. “I don’t know. We lost each other a while ago, and I’ve been trying to find him ever since. So I guess I just really, really hope he’s not.” 

“When did you see him last?” 

“Two years ago,” you say. “We were in some commune in Ohio with a buncha hunters that tolerated us because I was a doctor and he was a good supply runner. One day, one of the leaders started accusin’ a bunch of people of stealing meds. Swore the supply was goin’ down—accused every person I’d treated the past few months of bein’ a junkie and stealing. Killed every single one of ‘em over the course of a week.” You shake your head as the memory comes back in full force. “Meds kept disappearing. Soon enough, no one was left to blame but me.” 

“Did you take ‘em?” Joel asks. 

“No,” you say. “I had no reason to. Still don’t know who did it. But Connor realized I was next on the chopping block and no amount of reasoning would bring him down from the edge, even if that meant killing his only doctor.” You bite the inside of your cheek to hold the tears back. “Connor and I fought like crazy that night, but eventually, he won. He gave me all his supplies and got me to leave in the middle of the night. I wanted him to come with me, but he said they would hunt me down. Said he had to stay cover my tracks. Told me to go back to Boston, find the QZ— he would meet me there.”

Joel is silent for a moment. When he speaks up, it’s his usual. 

“You’re pretty far from Boston.” 

“Roads I was tryin’ to take were completely overrun,” you say. “I had a car back then, in pretty decent shape—decided I would try and get back to the farm just to recuperate. Resupply, take a breather, just try to shit out before I had to get all the way to Massachusetts.” You shrug. “And I guess a part of me thought that Connor might have thought the same thing.” 

You huff. “Pretty clear I never fuckin’ made it there, though. I just gotta hope he had better luck than me, and that’s waiting for me there—not dead in a ditch in Ohio.” 

“He probably is,” he says.  

“Fuck you, Joel,” you snap. “That’s all you gotta say?”

“I’m bein’ honest—”

“Well, I don’t need your honesty,” you bite out. “We made a promise to each other. Far as I’m concerned, he ain’t dead ‘til I see his bones. I don’t care how stupid you think it is.” 

He doesn’t say anything for a while, but when he does, it’s about what you expect. 

“It is stupid.” 

“Joel—” 

“But it’s also admirable.” 

You glance at him. “You hit your head back there or something?” 

“No. Just think it’s rare to be able to keep up hope like that.” He shrugs. “One of the things I’ve admired ‘bout you for a while.” 

Again, you feel your cheeks heat—your whole body, honestly. You busy yourself with the path ahead of you while you try to remember the art of subtlety. 

“...Thanks,” you finally say. “But I think you’re lyin’. You thought it was stupid when we first met.” 

Joel snorts. “Things’ve changed since then. You’re way less annoying now—can’t hold that against me.” 

“I am the same level of annoying, thank you very much.” You smile at him. “You like me more now. Face it.” 

He just huffed and shook his head, though you could tell he was fighting a smile of his own. “Just shut up and keep walking.”

You do, for the most part. Your path is pretty straightforward, only having to take a few detours due to infected that you take out pretty easily together. You and Joel have really found a groove working with each other since you started going on these supply runs. 

Maybe that’s what gets you to speak up again. 

“You really think my brother’s dead?” 

Joel doesn’t respond immediately. He lifts a low-hanging branch so you can duck under it, and when you glance over at him, he looks conflicted. 

“Doesn’t matter what I think,” he says. “Only matters what you do.” 

“You say all the time that you’re older and wiser than me,” you say. “So give me some of that elder wisdom.” 

Joel frowns. “I’m only forty.” 

“Can’t be only forty when you’re constantly sayin’ I’m too young to know things,” you retort. “So tell me the truth. Do you really think he’s dead? That I’m wasting my time trekking across the country?” 

“...I don’t know,” he says. “Been eight years since all of this fell apart. Logically, neither of us should still be kicking, but we are.” 

“So you think he’s alive.” 

“I think people beat the odds all the time,” Joel says. “And if your brother’s got the same stubborn genes as you, then I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s beat ‘em too.” 

You nod a few times. Whatever Joel said wasn’t going to change your mind—you meant what you said, that you won’t believe Connor is dead until you see his lifeless body. But it feels like Joel is on your side, even if it’s just one foot over the line. 

Those words echo in your head again: not yet. 

You decide to test the boundaries. 

“I think so too. It’s why I’m putting up with all this,” you say. “This… group. Jake’s bullshit. So I can get out when it’s time and keep trying to find my brother.” 

This is bigger than the doctor thing, and you’ve just dropped it on a casual walk. You’re still considered a flight risk, hence Joel’s constant companionship and the radiator nights even after you’ve more than proven yourself. You don’t know how much Joel ever believed it, but this pretty much confirms that it’s true.

“Shouldn’t talk like that out in the open,” Joel says after a moment. 

“We’re in the middle of the woods,” you say. “Who—” 

“Anyone,” he interrupts. “Here or there. So whatever shit you’re planning, don’t tell me about it.” 

“Joel—” 

“I mean it,” he continues. “I don’t care if you get yourself killed. Just don’t get me pulled into it.” 

You walk the rest of the way in silence. 

-

Joel is barely around the next day, or the day after that. You earn your keep like normal, but it makes you nervous. You try to talk to him at night, but he doesn’t give. You shouldn’t have tested the boundaries. 

It’s not like you think he’s loyal to this group—you don’t think he’s loyal to anyone but himself—but he’s been with them for longer than he’s known you. Why would he choose you over them? It doesn’t matter if he got scared when you were grabbed, if he let you sleep a little extra. It’s probably just a glitch in his programming or whatever. 

One thing you should always remember about Joel is that he will always put himself above anyone else. You might have thought differently at some point, but it’s the truth. 

You just hope he finds it in himself not to turn you in. 

-

You barely sleep the next night, too paranoid about everything going wrong just because you decided to trust Joel with something other than watching your six. 

That means when gunshots start erupting, it’s less of a rude awakening and more of a reprieve from your pitiful attempt at sleep. 

You dart up so quickly you nearly slam your head against the radiator. You don’t like most of the people in this group, but at least they tolerate you—most of them respect you. You’re not too keen on pulling this stunt again with another group of hunters that could be even worse than this one. 

That is, assuming this is an attack by humans and not infected. People, you can bargain with. Runners and clickers, not so much. 

The thought makes you look over at Joel’s bed, surprised he’s not the one that woke you up. You quickly realize why.

He’s gone. 

His materials, his bag, his weapons—it’s all gone. What’s more surprising is that he’s actually made his bed for once. 

You don’t think he’s dead. But you also don’t think he’s coming back, so you’re officially on your own. 

A part of you hopes against it. But why would he leave without saying goodbye if he wasn’t leaving for good? 

You blink back tears. They shouldn’t even be falling. You’ve only known him for a few months and you spent half of those fighting him. But you liked him, damn it—sharp, jagged edges and all.

But it doesn’t matter. 

You’re so tired of being at the mercy of others, constantly begging for your life with white lies you can only hope are enough. You can’t sit here and cry. You have to get out of here. 

You pull your cuffed hand. It hurts, obviously, and you immediately switch tactics: pulling at the pipe you’re attached to. You grip it as tight as possible and pull, your feet pushing against the body of it for more power. 

This radiator doesn’t even work anymore. It’s old and rickety and it can’t be that sturdy, even if it’s made of metal. You’ve been stuck to this thing for your whole time here, and you are so fucking sick of it. 

You finally pull the pipe apart from the radiator with a yell, and you land on your back a few feet away from the force you used. You try to even out your breathing as you recover, and pull yourself back into a sitting position. The door suddenly slams open and you wield the pipe like a weapon, pushing away from the entrance on instinct. 

Instead of an intruder or a clicker, it’s fucking Joel. 

He stumbles inside, covered in blood with a hand pressed against his side and curses waterfalling from his lips. Your eyes widen as you continue to breathe heavily. He looks towards the radiator, then to you, but he doesn’t even seem surprised. 

“The hell are you doing?” he asks. 

“Trying to escape,” you respond breathlessly. “The hell are you doing?” 

“Comin’ back for you,” Joel says. Your face heats inexplicably. “But it looks like you already handled half the job.” 

He pulls something from his pocket and tosses it over to you. You loosen your iron grip on the pipe to catch it. 

It’s the damn key to your handcuffs. You can’t help but laugh. You wasted all that effort just for Joel to show up ten seconds later, your knight in bloody armor.  

“What’d you do?” you ask. 

“What needed to be done,” Joel responds. His voice is gruff from the pain, though he tries to hide it. You don’t understand why. There’s no point. “Now get yourself out of those things and let’s go.”

You blink and look up at him. You’ve been dreaming of getting out of this place from the moment you got here—of killing everyone that killed your people, of clawing your freedom back from those that stole it from you. You can’t believe Joel got to it first. 

“Why’d you do it?” You can’t help but ask. Far as you knew, he got along with these people. If not that, he at least survived with them. Didn’t care about the people they murdered. 

“Because I had to,” he says. “You just gonna stare at ‘em?” 

You want to ask more, but you have a feeling you won’t get anything out of him. Not now. So you push down on your thoughts of lost revenge to finally free yourself from those cuffs rather than relying on another. 

“You’ve got a minute to grab anything you need,” Joel says. You’re just starting to massage your raw wrist when he starts to walk off, hand pressed even harder against the wound he’s trying to hide.  

“Wait!” You shoot up, nearly tripping over your feet trying to follow him. It’s not hard to catch him when he’s doing more stumbling than walking. 

“There’s no time to wait,” he says. “Gunshots bring people and clickers, and I ain’t dealing with either.”

“You’re hurt,” you say, only proven correct by how easily you get in front of him. The growing patch of blood on his shirt, holding his weight on his uninjured side, his labored breathing—you don’t need to be a med student to see the obvious. “Was your murder spree interrupted?”

Joel scowls. You find it funny how he always seems to take offense to you caring about his health. “Don’t act like it tears you up inside. I did you a favor.”

“Yeah, I appreciate that,” you say wryly. “Now, can you chill out for a second and let me at least look at whatever they did to you?” 

“We don’t have—” 

“We do have time,” you interrupt. “I assume you killed everyone in here, so we don’t have them to worry about. It’ll be a second before any infected get here, but if it makes you feel better, the doors lock. And in my medical opinion—” 

“You’re not a doctor,” Joel bites out. 

“I’m the closest thing you’ve got to one,” you retort. “And I don’t think you’ll make it a mile before your adrenaline fades and you’re out of luck.” You cross your arms. “Without bandaging it, you’re practically begging for an infection. How’s sepsis sound to you, Joel?” 

He stares at you—glare is more appropriate, actually. “You and your fuckin’ infections.”

You stare back, refusing to move. “Not my fault you haven’t taken a shower since the outbreak started.”

Eventually, he groans in annoyance and walks back over to the bed, taking a seat that causes him to wince. 

“Can’t believe you just wanted to walk out of here,” you say as you grab your medical bag. 

“Save the preaching, get to stitching.” 

You laugh and shake your head. “Pull your shirt up.” 

He does, and you get to work, going through the same motions as the first time you met. 

“You get shot or stabbed this time?” 

“Stabbed,” he says. “You ever gonna wine and dine me, or you just gonna keep tellin’ me to strip?”

You smile. “You find some good wine out here and a kitchen that works, I’m more than happy to do it.” 

You feel his gaze on you as you continue to work, feel his muscles tense then relax every time your fingers brush his skin, and you like it. You like knowing that he killed all these people without a second thought and he still reacts this way to your touch. Maybe it’s sick—this sort of lightness does feel wrong after what he did—but the more you think about it, the more you don’t care. It’s not like there’s anyone still around to judge you. 

“Noted,” he says. 

You bite back your smile to keep it from growing. “Who did this to you?” 

“Don’t matter,” Joel says. “They’re dead now.” 

You sigh and shake your head. “How’d you do it, then? These people are capable—tore my community down like it was nothing. You’re just one man.” 

“Why d’you think I did it in the middle of the night?” Joel looks away. “Surprise is one hell of an element. They expected it from you, not from me. ‘Sides, it’s not the first time I’ve done this.” 

“Ah.” 

“Always known I would do it,” he continues. “Ever since I joined this group. They were just a means to an end—they were too reckless for their own good. Woulda gotten me killed sooner or later, and I ain’t lettin’ that happen.”

“Awful lotta time to make a murder plan,” you say. “Mine feels half-baked compared to yours.” 

Joel shrugs. “Guess that’s why I did it before you. Helps not being handcuffed to a radiator. 

You shake your head with a huff. “Worst way I’ve ever slept.” 

You continue on in silence for a good while. You don’t mind because it helps you focus, especially once you start sutures—you’re usually the one that starts the conversations anyways. But then—

“I have a brother too,” Joel suddenly speaks up. 

You smile wistfully. “Now you’re openin’ up.” 

He shakes his head. “Just answerin’ your question. Why I did this.” 

You frown. You continue suturing without faltering, but Joel must see your face because for once, he keeps going. 

“You weren’t gonna get outta here anytime soon,” Joel says. “Not with Jake up your ass, makin’ those kind of comments. You didn’t hear the way he talked about you with everyone else.” 

A chill runs up your spine. You fight to keep your hands steady. 

“There was only so much I could do to protect you the way things were here,” he says. “So I changed things.” 

He talks about it so simply. Slaughtering a whole camp of people is changing things. 

But he did it to save your life. Can you really cherry pick any of that? Especially when you thought about doing the same countless times over the months? 

“My brother and I fell apart,” Joel continues. “He didn’t like the shit I was doing to survive— said there was a line we had to draw, that there was more to life than just survivin’. I didn’t agree. So we went our separate ways.” 

Joel meets your eyes. “I ain’t gonna let that happen to you. Not when you’ve still got a chance.” 

You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek when you feel the pinpricks of incoming tears. 

He really did do this for you. To keep you alive—to keep you safe. 

When you fell asleep that night, you thought he was only a couple steps away from betraying you. 

Instead, he was your salvation.

-

After you stitch Joel up, give him some painkillers, and make sure he’s not going to die, you take your time going through the rest of the camp. There’s a surprising amount of materials around, especially that was being kept in individual rooms. It’s a little difficult seeing all the bodies, but not as hard as you thought it would be. 

When you get to Jake’s room, you take your pistol from his body and shoot him in the head with it. He’s already dead, but it still brings you some sort of satisfaction. You think Joel will chastise you for wasting bullets, but he doesn’t say a thing. 

You fit as much as you can into both of your packs and even more in your horses’ saddle packs. You pick the two that look to be the strongest and set the others free—they’ll stand a chance on their own rather than tied up here. 

It’s nearly morning by the time you’re done, and you stand next to Joel as you watch the sunrise. It might be the one thing you never get tired of—one of the few things that remind you of how beautiful the world used to be. 

Dawn is… oddly silent here. You grew up with frogs and cicadas and all sorts of barn animals making themselves heard into the night and early morning, but the apocalypse brings a strange sense of serenity. When it’s not being interrupted by infected or hunters, that is. 

“Feels wrong standing out here,” you murmur. “Knowin’ what you did.”

“I told you, it had to be done.” Joel shakes his head. “You wanted ‘em dead anyways.” 

“Doesn’t make it any easier,” you say. “Nothin’ does.”

“Maybe for you,” he says. 

You hum in acknowledgment. This isn’t something you want to fight over—not know. 

“Where’re you goin’ after this?” you ask. 

“No clue,” he murmurs. “I sorta… drift from place to place. Anywhere I can survive.”

“I understand,” you say. “Spent a lotta time like that.” 

You feel Joel’s gaze on you. “What about you? Where’re you off to?” 

“Boston,” you say. “It’s where Connor and I agreed to meet again. We heard about a QZ there, so figured it would be a safe place to meet after however long it takes to get there. Been tryin’ to get there for a while, but I’ve been thrown…” you chuckle, “majorly off course. Seems like a pipe dream now, but I’m still gonna try.” You glance over at him.  “Can you believe we’re stuck in Kansas?” 

“Got no idea how the hell I ended up here,” Joel says with a chuckle of his own. “Figure you would like it, though. Close enough to your panhandle.” 

“Close enough but farther than ever,” you say, and you smile wistfully. “I miss the farm.” 

“I miss Texas,” he admits. 

“Someday, we’ll get back,” you murmur. 

Joel hums in acknowledgement. He looks back at the sky, and a good ten seconds of silence pass between you before he speaks.

“I’ll get you to Boston.” 

Your eyes widen. For a moment, you’re not sure if you’ve heard him correctly. “What?”

Joel shrugs. “Didn’t save your life back there to leave you to die out here.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Joel,” you say. “You— you barely know me.” 

“Actually, you talked my ear off enough that I know plenty,” he says. “‘Sides, I’m gonna need someone to keep an eye on this wound—rather have it be the devil I know.” 

You feel a certain warmth settle in your chest, alongside a growing smile on your lips. “You’re serious.” 

“As a heart attack,” he nods. 

You stare at Joel for a good, long while, and then you hug him. 

You can’t help it. You can feel his staggered heartbeat, his uneven breathing—the way he just… stands there, like it’s the last thing he expected. It makes you wonder how long it’s been since someone last hugged him, showed any kind of affection. 

“Thank you,” you whisper. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he says. It takes a second, but he hesitantly wraps an arm around you. He pats your back more than anything, but when you pull away, he’s fighting a smile. 

“I mean it, Joel.” You laugh, almost giddy. “It felt like a death mission on my own. But with you… seeing my brother again feels real.” 

“No sense in lettin’ someone else lose a brother when I can try and stop it,” he says. 

“You’ll find Tommy again,” you say. “I know—” 

“No,” he interrupts, shaking his head. “We made our choices. But you and Connor still got a chance.” 

You swallow the lump building in your throat and nod. No use arguing with him over one of the sorest subjects. “This means more than anything, Joel. I’m serious.” 

“Then let’s not waste it on being sentimental,” he says. “C’mon. We’re burning daylight.” 

You let out a breathy sort of laugh, full of relief, as you follow him over. Joel locks his fingers together to give you a step up onto your horse, and once you’re on, he gives you an amused look. 

“You do know how to ride a horse, farm girl?” 

“Please,” you huff. “I grew up around ‘em. Probably know better than you.” 

“Let’s not get crazy now.” 

Joel gets on his horse and you ride up closer to him so you can look him in the eye. 

“So we’re goin’ to Boston,” you say. “Any idea how the hell we get from here to there?” 

He pulls a rolled-up paper out of his pack and flattens it out. “Just so happens our benevolent leader Jake had a map. It ain’t the best, but it’ll give us a path to follow.” 

You nod a few times, your resolve steadily growing. “We can actually do this.” 

“‘Course we can,” Joel says. “Didn’t do all this just to fail.” 

“Some actual optimism,” you marvel. “I can’t believe it.” 

He shrugs. “Balance is important.” 

“And a joke, too,” you say. “If the world hadn’t already ended, I would think it was right now.” 

“Alright.” Joel huffs and shakes his head. “Let’s get goin’ before I regret bringing you with me.” 

You don’t try to bite back your smile this time. 

You stir your horses into action as you begin to ride, Joel in front of you to lead but little distance between you. 

You knew you would get out of this place somehow, but you thought you’d slip out in the middle of the night alone, running for your life with no idea of where to go next. You’d run into a group of people, barter your skills in return for your survival, and so on and so forth until you somehow made it to Boston. A pipe dream indeed. 

Instead, you’ve got a horse, a pack full of supplies, a plan, and Joel. 

You’ve got Joel, and you feel like you can breathe for the first time in months.  

[atomicami]

make you mine

dbf!cowboy!sevika x fem!reader

- summary: you've always had a longing for your dad's best friend ever since she moved into the ranch next door. however, you've had to keep your feelings to yourself out of fear of rejection and for the sake of their friendship. that is...until one night changes everything.

- content: smut MDNI, porn with plot, wild west au, forbidden love trope, age gap (reader is 21, sevika is 40), old town/ranch setting, sevika has her prosthetic arm, sevika only has a soft spot for reader, drinking & gambling, some harassment & violence (bar fight), gentledom!sev, lots of eye contact, sevika becomes very possessive, reader is shy at first but gets bold later on, use of pet names (sweetheart, darlin' etc), fingering & oral (both giving/receiving bc reader and sevika are a pair of munches), heavy scissoring, a little bit of sub!sev if you squint, and a little bit of aftercare in the end if you squint too

so i wrote this fic to try to cure the massive sevika brainrot that i’ve been having lately but it didn’t work…i still need her

You didn’t mean that much to her…or at least that’s what you had thought.

The feelings were innocent at first. It would begin through a small bit of contact, whether she’d accidentally brush her hand over yours or place her hand on the small of your back when mounting you on one of her horses, you’d end up getting chills down your spine and a small spark would start igniting in your chest. As time passed, it became more prominent. Every time she was near you, that same spark only grew more and more, followed by a tension that lingered between the two of you. You weren’t sure if it was just in your head, and you couldn’t tell if she felt the same way…until now.

It was the night before, and the three of you sat at the dining table having a steak dinner that you cooked up. Earlier that day, Sevika had accompanied you to the meat market to get those steaks. She insisted on paying for them and had already handed the cash to the butcher before you could even pull out your wallet. So to return the favor, you decided to invite her over for dinner.

You’re seated at the table, and before you start eating, you first watch as Sevika and your father take the first bites of their plate, hoping that the steaks turned out okay. “How is it?” you ask them. “I tried out a new seasoning this time.”

“It’s delicious, kiddo,” your dad had said, digging into his plate for another bite. “You always know how to make a mean ribeye.”

Sevika sat across from you, reaching out for her utensils. When she had finally taken a bite, a soft groan came from her as she savored the flavor of it. “Damn, this is good,” she added to your dad’s comment. “I might have to start coming over for dinner more often if you’re gonna be cookin’.”

You giggle at Sevika’s comment and look up at her, watching her go in for the next bite. “M’glad you like it, Sev.” Once you’re satisfied knowing that the food turned out well, you adjust yourself in your chair to start eating. As you do so, your boot ends up lightly brushing over Sevika’s leg, and, in an instant, you bring your feet back to yourself. You hope she didn’t notice your accidental contact, but it was clear that she did.

Sevika froze for a moment when she felt your boot brush up against her leg, and she couldn’t help but blush when you had done so. You hadn’t known just yet, but Sevika would also get that same spark inside her every time you were in her presence. She had never felt this way with anyone to begin with, especially with his best friend’s daughter out of all people. On the contrary, she’s mostly seen you like any other girl in her 20s, too young and naive to take seriously. Sure, you were headstrong, but in her eyes, it only added to your recklessness. That was until one particular night last year, when her feelings took a turn she never expected.

It was the night of your 21st birthday, and for a milestone birthday like that, there was no better way to celebrate than a night of drinks and dancing at the dance hall with your friends. You were too drunk to remember most of the events that night, but Sevika sure didn’t forget.

The night had blurred into a dizzying mess of laughter and alcohol, and by the time you found yourself outside the dance hall, your head was spinning. You fumbled for your phone, dialing Sevika’s number with shaky hands. 

Sevika was fast asleep when her phone rang, cutting through the peacefulness the night was bringing her. She let out a groan when she recognized your number. Groggily, she answered, her voice thick with sleep. “What now?”

“Sevika,” you slurred into the phone. ”I need you to come get me…I’m too drunk…please.”

With a sigh, Sevika got off of her bed and threw on her boots. “Fine, just…hang in there, I’ll be right out.” She wasn’t pleased to be pulled out of bed this late, but she couldn’t be one to leave you stranded out on the streets either.

When she arrived, she didn’t waste any time. With a swift motion, Sevika helped you onto the back of her horse, her grip firm as you clung to her. “Jesus, kid, you’re a mess,” she muttered, her tone laced with impatience.

You leaned against her, your head spinning. “You’re so pretty, Sev,” you mumbled, barely able to keep your eyes open. “Like my knight in shining armor.”

“Yeah, sure,” she replied dryly, but there was a faint tug at the corner of her lips as she kept you steady on her horse.

By the time she got you home, you stumbled to the ground upon entrance. Your giggles were uncontrollable, and you were barely able to get back on your feet. Sevika helped you get back up, but her patience was quickly wearing thin. “Keep it down,” she warned, her voice low. “Or else your dad’s gonna wake up.”

You continued to giggle, still not fully aware of what was going on, and she picked you up and guided you to your bedroom. With a sigh, Sevika helped you sit on the edge of the bed, but before she could leave, you suddenly grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and kissed her.

The kiss caught Sevika by surprise. She froze for a moment, then pulled back, her expression unreadable. She stared at you for a moment before gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Go to sleep,” she said, her voice quieter than usual.

You lazily kick your boots off and lie down in your bed. You snuggle into your blankets, and your eyelids start to grow heavy. “Sevika…stay with me...” you murmured, the tipsiness sinking in as you instantly drifted off to sleep right after.

Sevika hesitated for a moment, her eyes fixed on your sleeping state before she sighed, her usual coldness returning. “Just sleep it off, kid.” she mutters, her voice soft but firm. She left your room, the door clicking shut behind her, leaving you to fall into a peaceful slumber.

As Sevika arrived back home, she couldn’t help but feel an unfamiliar ache in her chest. The events of the night replayed in her mind—your drunken giggles, the kiss, the way you looked in her eyes with trust and affection. She set her stetson hat down on the table and let out a long sigh, realizing that no matter how hard she tried to keep her emotions together, something had shifted. Something she wasn’t sure she was ready to face.

She was starting to catch feelings for you.

Ever since that night, that spark continued to linger inside Sevika when you were around. However, for the sake of your dad, she had to keep herself together and brush it off.

You continue to eat your meal as normal, but you could still feel Sevika’s gaze when you weren’t looking. But every time you look up to see her, she is just concentrated on her plate. But Sevika couldn’t handle keeping her eyes on her plate any longer. 

Sevika called out your name, and you looked up at her, fork still in your mouth. She had her elbow propped up on the table, her human hand holding her fork, which was pointing down at her plate as she spoke. “You doin’ anything tomorrow, by any chance?”

You slowly take your fork out of her mouth and set it down on your plate as you finish chewing. “M’not doing much tomorrow, just my usual chores in the morning, why do you ask?” you reply.

“Well…” Sevika began, trailing off for a bit before continuing. “Was wonderin’ by any chance if you’d like to get drinks tomorrow night? You and me?”

You hesitate for a moment, completely caught off guard by the unexpected invitation. Knowing Sevika, she wasn’t usually the type to hang out with you, especially for something as casual as getting drinks together. Your gaze shifts to your dad, who sits on your right. “As long as it’s okay with my dad, I could go,” you reply.

Sevika turned to look at your dad who was on her left, patiently waiting for his reply. You couldn’t tell, but deep down, Sevika was extremely nervous, not sure of how your father would react to the idea of her asking you out like this. He didn’t think anything of it though, and let it slide. Your dad turned to the two of you. “Well, I guess it won’t be much harm in you two goin’ out for a drink…” He replies.

You smile at your dad’s approval to let you go, leaning in to hug him. “Thanks, Dad,” you tell him, sitting yourself back down. Your dad nods and looks over at Sevika. “I’ll be workin’ late tomorrow though, won’t be back home til’ the early morning. Just make sure to bring her back home safe, all right?” Sevika nods in acknowledgment. “Of course, I’ll make sure she’s back home safe.” She says, giving your dad a reassuring pat on his shoulder.

Once the three of you finished dinner, you gathered up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, with a bit of Sevika’s help since she offered. Eventually, Sevika had to head back to her place. Even though she lived close by, it still felt like she was miles away from you.

When Sevika got home, she quickly changed and slipped herself into bed. She tried her best to conceal things, but deep down, she couldn’t get the thought of you off her mind. It frightened her just as much to know that you could end up with someone else who wouldn’t treat you and care for you the same way she did. She wanted you all to herself. She wanted to claim you.

She wanted to make you hers.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──.°˖⋆ ℧ 𓃗 .°˖⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The next day passed like an eternity, but before you knew it, the late afternoon had arrived, and your evening was just about to begin.

You sat in your room by your dresser, finishing the touches on your makeup. You decided to dress in light colors for the night, wearing a lavender halter paired with a white skirt and boots, topped off with a white stetson on your head.

You hear a familiar knock at the door, instantly knowing that it was Sevika. It didn’t take her long to wait, within the first minute you were already downstairs and answering the door. You greet her with a smile, admiring the outfit she had picked out for the night. She was beautifully in contrast with you, wearing a deep purple button-up that complimented her olive skin and gray eyes, accompanied by black jeans and boots and a black stetson framing her short hair.

Sevika couldn’t help but take in how beautiful you looked in your outfit, her eyes scanning you from head to toe as she drank your figure in. “You look stunning,” she said, a small smirk growing on her face. 

You blush at Sevika’s comment, shyly looking down at your boots before looking back up at her. “Thanks, Sev, you don’t look so bad yourself.” You tell her with a giggle as you exit your house and close the door shut, and Sevika can’t help but smile back at you once you tell her how good she looks. She holds out her prosthetic arm and places it on the small of your back, guiding behind you as you two walk out of the porch together. You look up ahead in your tracks to see her horse awaiting your arrival, and Sevika whistles behind you to get his attention. Her black stallion trots over to the two of you, and Sevika first assists with mounting you onto him before mounting herself. You scooch closer to her and wrap your arms around her to secure yourself. Your hands clutch her abdomen tightly, and you could’ve sworn you felt her stomach flip when you did so. Once Sevika made sure you were secured onto her, she lightly tapped her heel on the horse’s side, signaling it to move forward.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to get to the bar, about fifteen minutes or so. Once you arrived, you let go of Sevika so she could dismount from her horse and tie him to the nearest post, securing her spot before coming over and helping you get off of him, her hands never leaving your waist until you safely stepped onto the ground. Sevika felt her heart beat faster when she did so. Just the feeling of your waist under her hands was enough to drive her crazy. As for you, you couldn’t help but get a fuzzy feeling in your body when she grabbed your waist, leading you to gently rub your thighs under your skirt to diminish that feeling somehow.

Sevika walked through the batwing doors of the bar with you following behind her, the heavy scent of whiskey and tobacco hanging in the air once you stepped foot. The low murmurs of conversing patrons mix with the clink of glasses and the shuffling of boots on the wooden floor. The piano plays a slow and steady tune, making the atmosphere of the bar feel timeless.

Sevika skims around the bar when suddenly a voice calls her over. “Hey Sev! Care for a round?” the man says with a challenging smirk, holding a deck of cards in his hand. Sevika smirks back at him, taking up the offer. “Oh, you’re on,” she tells him. She was about to head to her poker group but stopped for a moment and turned to you. “Mind grabbing us drinks? You can put it on my tab, my treat.” She tells you with a wink.

You nod with a smile as you signal Sevika off to go to the poker table. The table of men cheered for her when she arrived, patting her heavily on her shoulders before they started the game. Once she’s sat, you head to the bar to order the drinks. The bartender hands you the beers within a few minutes, and you go to the poker table to sit down next to Sevika. She keeps you close by your side as she plays the game with her group.

The both of you go through the first round of drinks pretty fast. Once both of your glasses are empty, you tap Sevika’s shoulder to get her attention. “I’m gonna get another drink, do you want one?” I ask her, pointing at her empty glass. Sevika looks over at you and nods. “Yes, please,” she says, handing you her empty glass. Her eyes move over to her deck of cards and back up to her group. “In fact…” she trails off, sliding her winning cards to the middle of the table. “Get us all another round, on me!” she says as she brings her chips over to her side of the table. The men cheer for her, and a few of them groan as they have lost the game. You smile at her excitement over her win. “All right then, I’ll be back,” you say, getting up from the table and making your way back over to the bar to order the next round. Sevika’s gaze didn’t leave you once you did, and she kept herself close enough to where you were in a line of her sight the whole time.

You look over at Sevika and flash her a smile before turning back, awaiting the next round of drinks. The peace didn’t last long, though, when suddenly a man enters the bar and makes the decision to sit uncomfortably close to you. “Hey there, little lady,” he calls out to you. “You here by yourself?” An uneasy feeling washes over Sevika when she saw the man approach you, not liking the fact that he was invading your space like that. She makes sure to keep an eye on him from the table, her eyes focused on you as she continues playing her game.

You scoot away from him, signaling that you’re not interested in him. “No, I’m with someone.” You tell him, cocking your head to the side and pointing over at Sevika. The man barely glances back at her and rolls his eyes, not even seeing her as a possible threat. “Well, you’re by yourself over here, aren’t ya? Think you could use some company…” The man then places a hand on your bare knee, and it leads you to pull your knee away from him. “No, thank you, m’not interested.�� you reply.

Sevika’s eyes stay glued to the man and his movements. She knew you could take care of yourself, but the thought of you being close to such a sleazy guy like him made her blood boil. It took everything within her to compose herself, keeping her cool as she remained seated at the poker table.

Things begin to heat up a bit, and your voice starts to rise. “I already told you, sir, m’not interested.” You get off the bar stool, and he does the same. He corners you against the wall, and a sick feeling starts to grow in your stomach. “C’mon, little lady, I can show you a real good time.” He continues to push through you, and before you can say no, his hand trails up your skirt and squeezes your ass, which causes you to raise your hand and slap him across the face in an instant motion. “I fucking said no, asshole!” you shout back at him.

That was the last straw for Sevika. She couldn’t take it anymore. Her entire body shook from rage and anger from what she had just seen. Instantly, she rises from her seat and slams her fist down onto the table, causing the chips and cards to shake from the force. She makes her way over to the both of you, shoving the guy onto the ground and standing right in front of him, the scene causing the bar to go silent. “Didn’t your dad ever teach you how to respect a lady, boy?” she said sternly, narrowing her eyes down at him. “She already told you, she’s not interested.”

The man glares menacingly up at Sevika as he spat on the ground. “You want something, old hag?” He said back, his tone laced with venom as he looked her up and down. Sevika huffs out of her nose and clenches her metal fist in anger, feeling her rage boil even more at his comment. She takes another step forward at him. “Leave, or I will make you.” She growled out, her stance growing into a fighting position. You stay silent as you keep yourself behind Sevika. The guy gets up from the ground and faces her. “Y’know what?” he says. “It’s fine…didn’t even care about bringing that little bitch home with me anyways.” he spits back referring to you.

Sevika couldn’t stand hearing him insulting you like this, but she needed a good enough excuse to deck him in the face, and she wasn’t gonna take up any more of the disrespect that man was giving you. Without a second thought, her fist flies into his face, knocking some of his teeth clean out as he stumbled back onto the ground. She grabs the man by the collar of his shirt and brings him up to her level. “Fucking mess with my girl again, and you might not make the next hit I give you.” she growls at him before letting him go and shoving him back to the ground.

You look at Sevika in pure shock at what she has done. Now, you weren’t in shock about what she had done to the man; he deserved it. You were more in shock about what she had called you.

“My girl.”

“My girl, my girl, my girl…” Her words repeat in your head like a broken record player. Never in your life, never in the years that you had developed these growing feelings for Sevika, had you expected those words to come out of her mouth.

You snap out of your thoughts as you see the man getting up off the ground and admitting defeat. He scurries out of the bar without a second thought, leaving Sevika standing there as she huffed and caught her breath. She kept her eyes on the doors for a moment in case he tried to come back before finally calming down. She let out a deep breath and turned back to look at you. She had this somewhat fearful look in her eyes, and you knew what it was. She feared that you might have heard the words that slipped from her mouth at that moment. You needed to tell her about it, the curiosity was starting to consume you, but now was not the time or place to talk about that.

You quickly shook your head, pretending to be unaware of it for now. You look around the bar to see that everyone is still silent, still staring at the two of you. “Show’s over!” you exclaim, and everyone goes back to their usual business. “Sevika…are you okay?” you say, approaching closer to her as you check both her human and metal fists for any bruises or dents. 

Sevika could feel her heart flutter when you took her hands into yours, goosebumps erupting on her arm when your soft palms touched her calloused human hand. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she replied, her voice going soft as she looked down at your hands inspecting her own. “I’m more worried about you, though. You ain’t hurt or nothin’?” She asked, looking down at you with concern. You shake your head in response, setting her hands back down at her sides. “No, he just grabbed me, that’s all,” you tell her. She lets out a breath of relief at your response, knowing that you weren’t hurt. After making sure the guy wasn’t around anymore, the two of you decided that it was time to call it a night and head back home instead. “C’mon, let’s start heading out.” She said, putting a hand on your waist as you both exited the bar. 

The ride back was oddly peaceful, to say the least. There wasn’t much to be said at the moment since Sevika had saved you, and you both enjoyed the quiet more than usual as you both took the scenery of the sun setting around you, too. Your hands stayed secure on Sevika’s waist as she rode her horse, and your head rested on her back. You felt so safe around her that your body felt the need to briefly go to rest at that moment. 

The horse came to a stop once you both got back to your father’s ranch, and Sevika noticed that your arms weren’t moving and the grip you had on her waist was more relaxed. She slowly twists herself around to see that you had dozed off behind her during the ride back home. She gently shakes your shoulder to wake you back up, and her insides melt as you slowly regain consciousness. “Hey there, we’re back at your place now,” she says to you softly. “Let me help you get down, darlin’.” 

Sevika moves her hands down from her horse’s reins to your waist, gently lifting you off of the horse before letting you back down onto the ground. She dismounts herself right after, and you gently rub your eyes to fully wake yourself up before looking back up at her. “Thank you again for doing that at the bar, Sev…I really appreciate it.” It made her happy to know that you appreciated her help, but in her mind, it felt like the natural thing to do. “Of course, sweetheart. I couldn’t stand seein’ you be bothered by some creep like him.” She said with a soft grin, looking down at you. “Lemme walk you inside, yeah? S’getting pretty late now.”

You follow by her side as the two of you approach the front door and unlock it, letting yourself inside before Sevika lets herself in behind you and closes the door shut. The house was the same as you had left it, meaning that your dad still wasn’t home yet. This gave you the perfect time to ask Sevika about what she said at the bar. Part of you didn’t want to bring it up, but you couldn’t help it. You needed to know what she meant. “Hey Sev,” you turn around to face her. “Can I ask you something?”

Sevika stood at the doorway for a moment before turning around to face you. “Of course, what is it?” she asked.

You shyly look down at the ground, fumbling with your hands as you try to muster up the courage to ask her this. “At the bar…after you beat up that guy, you…you said something, or, well, called me something to be exact.” You paused for a moment before continuing. “You…you called me your girl…What did you mean by that?”

As soon as you had brought up what she said at the bar, Sevika could start to feel her heart beat out of her chest. She hadn’t intended to say it in the first place; it just slipped in the moment. However, she got caught by you, and she knew she had to explain herself before any misunderstanding occurred. “I…” She started, not knowing what to say. Sevika gulped and brought her gaze to the ground, trying to compose some sort of reply.

It was clear that you had caught her in a vulnerable position by asking her this. You’ve never seen her get like this at all before, but you didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable, so you try to shake off the situation. “It’s okay, Sevika, you don’t have to talk ‘bout it if you don’t want to.” You tell her calmly. “‘Was just curious, that’s all.”

Sevika felt her heart drop for a moment when you told her this. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to say it, she just didn’t know how to tell you. She feared that this could go downhill. But she had to do it. This was her chance; this was the opportunity for her to be honest with you, and she couldn’t keep holding it off anymore. “No, no, I-I can explain,” She insists, reaching her human hand out to take one of yours. You gently grab her hand and bring her over to the couch so she can feel comfortable talking to you. “S’okay Sev, what is it?” you ask her as you sit down right next to her. She didn’t know it, but your heart was beating just as fast as hers was. You were praying to yourself that she’d feel the same way that you did.

Sevika took a deep breath as she prepared herself to share what was going through her mind. She mentally prepared herself for any reaction you had given her, whether it could be anger, disgust, or just any sign of rejection. But she was also hoping that maybe, just maybe, you’d feel the same way that she did. 

“I’ve had my eye on you for a while now, sweetheart, I can’t deny it anymore…” She pauses for a moment before continuing. “Somewhere along the way, I started growin’ some feelings for you in a way I didn’t expect…I…I started falling in love with you.”

Your eyes widened at Sevika’s confession, and you could hear your heart beating faster once she let those words out. However, you give her a look of uncertainty; part of you is still finding it hard to fully believe it. “Sevika…do you really mean that?” you ask her, to which Sevika slowly nods in confirmation and gently squeezes your hand in reassurance. “I mean it, sweetheart, every single damn word.” She said, locking her eyes with yours.

There’s another pause before you gather the courage to ask. “When did you realize it?”

Sevika’s gaze softened, her thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. “That night…your birthday,” she admitted quietly. “When I brought you home, and you kissed me, it was like somethin’ clicked. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you after that.” She paused, her voice growing a bit more vulnerable. “But I think, deep down, I’ve been feelin’ it for a long time before then—I just didn’t have the strength to admit it.”

Sevika’s words made your heart skip a beat, but another detail had left you flustered. “Wait…” you stammered, heat rushing to your cheeks. “I kissed you?” You stared at her, trying to recollect your memory from that night.

Sevika chuckled softly, her lips curving into a small smile. “You don’t remember?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “Guess you were really wasted that night. But yeah, you kissed me—caught me off guard, too.”

Your hands trembled inside hers, the weight of her confession and your embarrassment pushing down on you. You shyly lowered your gaze to the ground. “Sevika, I…I didn’t think you felt the same way,” you admitted quietly. “I’ve caught feelings for so long, but I was afraid to say anything, ‘cause I thought you’d push me away—“

Sevika didn’t want to hear the rest of it. Instead, she places her human hand behind your neck and pulls you in for a tender kiss, cutting you off mid-sentence. You let out a gasp as Sevika locks your lips with hers, and you melt into it instantly. Sevika pulls away for a moment, still keeping her lips near yours. “I could never push away a girl like you, sweetheart,” she whispers and brings you back in for another kiss, your heart fluttering with pure joy at her words. The two of you stay like this for a moment, relishing the feeling of Sevika’s soft lips against yours. However, the mere thought of your father finding out about you and Sevika—his lifelong best friend—starts to hit you like a rock, and you slowly pull away from her. “But Sev, what ‘bout my dad?” You ask her. “You know how protective he is of me…he’ll kill you if he finds out…”

It was hard for Sevika not to feel her heart sink as you brought up the topic of your father finding out. The two of you know that it’ll happen at some point, no matter how hard you both try to be discreet about it. It gave her an uneasy feeling, but it wasn’t something that she wanted to be thinking about right now, and frankly, neither did you.

“I know, sweetheart, but don’t worry about that now,” she said softly. “We’ll figure it out when the time comes. M’not going anywhere, okay? I’m willing to take that risk for whatever happens, as long as I get to make you mine.”

Her words eased the knot that formed in your chest, even if it was just for a little. For now, that reassurance was enough for you. You lean into her and give her another kiss. “Least for now,’ you mutter out to her. “I don’t want him knowin’ yet.” Despite that you had to get serious about keeping your dad from finding out, there was just something about keeping Sevika a secret that you found so…thrilling.

Sevika slowly deepened the kiss, her hands finding themselves on your waist as she shifted you over and straddled you onto her lap, pressing herself closer to you as she took in as much of your scent as she could. She slowly ran her tongue across your lower lip, asking for permission. Your lips part open, and her tongue enters your mouth. Her hands begin to roam up and down your body, and they make a brief stop at your hips. She gently squeezes them to bring you closer to her, causing you to gasp into her mouth. The two of you could feel each other growing needy with each passing second, and you were about to be the one who was bound to submit first.

You pull your mouth away from Sevika for a moment, just to catch a breath and look into her eyes. You brace yourself for what you’re about to ask her next. “My…my dad’s still not home yet...we can take things upstairs if you’d like…” You tell her, playing with the collar of her shirt.

There was no further explanation needed after that. Sevika wanted you, and you wanted her— there was no need to deny it or hide from it anymore. Sevika stands up from the couch, and you wrap your legs around her waist, not wanting to get yourself off of her as the both of you head upstairs to your bedroom.

Sevika enters your bedroom and slowly sets you down on your bed, looking down at you with a look of desire in her eyes as you sink into the bedsheets. Your stetson falls off your head once it hits the bed, so you toss it out of the way as Sevika gets your boots off before doing the same with hers. She’s quick to get on top of you, her broad figure towering over your frame, and the brim of her stetson brushes over your forehead. As you did with yours, you take it off of her head and toss it aside, giving you the space you need to lean into her for another kiss. Once her lips reunited with yours, Sevika gently slipped her thigh between yours while also taking your left leg into her human hand and pulling it up on her hip as she deepened the kiss. Her knee begins to push up against your clothed cunt, and you let out a soft moan, causing you to part your mouth away from hers and tilt your head back against the pillow. This gave Sevika the chance to lean in and let her lips fall onto your neck, savoring every sound that elicited from your mouth as she left a trail of wet marks on your skin. 

The feeling of Sevika’s soft, warm lips pressing against your neck was a feeling that your body couldn’t resist. You begin to squirm under her, and you try to rub your thighs against each other for some relief. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sevika. She quickly realized what you were trying to do. She let her body lean against yours and brought her mouth up to your ear. “Do you need somethin’, sweetheart?” She purrs,  to which you nod quickly in response.

“Words, baby.” she says sternly.

You take a deep breath as you try to get the words out of your mouth. “Yes, Sev…I need you…” You whisper back to her.

Sevika let out a soft hum of approval when you said what she needed to hear, and at that point, she wasn’t going to hold herself back anymore. “Good girl,” she mutters, pushing her thigh harder against you once more. You let out another gasp, praying that Sevika didn’t feel the wetness pooling in your underwear. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, okay?” You start to feel drunk from her touch, trying to muster up another response. “I-I need you to make me feel good, Sev…need you to make me yours…”

With that, Sevika brings her human hand down and her fingers gently trace along the outer edge of your underwear before letting them go south, smirking as she feels the thin fabric start to get wet. Her fingers gently push your panties to the side and begin to give your pussy the attention it’s been needing. “Goodness, you’re so wet, darlin’…is this all for me?” she asks, looking up at you. You nod quickly in response. “Yes, Sev…s’all for you…”  You get desperate for more contact, so as Sevika’s fingertips continue to run through your folds, you reach your hand under your shirt and trail it up to your breast, gently squeezing it.

Sevika’s eyes darkened at the sight of you. It was taking everything in her to not just take you already. The soft gasps, the pretty noises, the sight of your body, the wet sensation of your needy pussy…it was all so perfect. Sevika began to slowly slide one of her thick fingers into your pussy, and you let out a groan as you grind yourself against her, feeling so content with having a part of her inside of you. However, it didn’t feel like enough just yet. You craved more of her, so you decided to pull an unthinkable move. 

Instead of letting Sevika continue, you bring your other hand down to hers and pull her finger out of you. You then bring it up to her lips so she can get a taste of your arousal. You watch as her lips slowly part themselves open, and she sucks on her finger, the taste of you sending a shiver down her spine. Sevika let out a groan of satisfaction before pulling her finger out of her mouth. “Goodness, darlin’…you even taste perfect.” She whispered out to you, leaning down to kiss you deeply. You moan into Sevika’s mouth as a result, tasting your own arousal in the process. You then pull yourself away from her to look into her eyes. “It’s all for you, Sevika…only you.”

A smirk begins to grow on Sevika’s face. She liked what she was hearing. “Hm, all mine, you say? I sure like the sound of that…” she says, her tone almost teasing. Her lips make their way back to your neck, kissing it once more.

“Do you like it when you’re mine, sweetheart?” she mutters as her lips continue to leave new marks against your skin. “Do you like it when I take you apart like this and claim you as my own?”

You nod quickly in response, only to be startled by a sudden harsh squeeze of her prosthetic hand on your hip. “Words, baby. Need to hear you say it.”

“Mmm—yes, Sevika…” you gasp out. “Wanna be yours, only yours.”

“Now that’s more like it.” 

As Sevika continued to kiss down your chest, you allowed yourself to untie the neck of your top and slide it off of yourself, fully exposing your breasts to her. Sevika pulls away and lets her hungry eyes linger over your chest and torso, viewing the areas of your skin as a blank canvas for her to mark her territory with her lips. She brings her mouth down to your breast and begins to gently suck on the soft flesh, causing a moan to escape from your mouth as a result. She smirks against your skin, then brings her lips to your nipple and takes it into her mouth, humming as she feels it quickly harden under her lips. She continues to take her time with you like this, going down your torso mark by mark until she briefly stops at the hem of your skirt. “Lift your hips for me, sweetheart,” she instructs you.

You oblige to her and lift your hips, opening space for her to slide her hands under you and pull your skirt and underwear down in one fluid motion. You’re now completely exposed under her, like a deer in the headlights, and you can’t help but impulsively close your thighs shut in embarrassment once you notice how wet you were for her. Sevika chuckled over how shy you got for her, and she planted a soft kiss above your knee as she looked up at you. “C’mon, sweetheart…don’t get all shy with me now…” she mutters out quietly, gently rubbing your knees in encouragement.

Sevika gently shifts herself down on the bed and lies down on her stomach, settling herself between your closed legs. She moves closer to you, and her hands go down from your knees to your shins. “Open up for me, baby…” she pleads to you. “I promise I’ll take real good care of you, darlin’… but you have to let me in.”

You can’t help but give in to her words, and you slowly spread your legs out, exposing your soaking cunt to the older woman. Sevika could feel her mouth water at the sight, and she was desperate to get a taste of it. “Such a pretty pussy, baby…” she mutters out. “So nice ’n wet for me…gonna fuck you so so good.” She leans into you and begins to gently lap her tongue through your folds, collecting your arousal on her tastebuds. Sevika let a soft growl escape her mouth as she tasted you, her grip on your thighs tightening as she felt her own body react to the sounds you were making. 

“Oh, God…” you gasp out at the sensation, your gaze peering down at Sevika, and she can’t help but chuckle again at your initial reaction as she spreads your thighs out further to get more space. “God ain’t here to help you now, baby, just me.” she says, licking another stripe up your folds. “It’s ironic, though, seein’ as how your wet little pussy is the closest thing to heaven that I could ever get a taste of.” She dives her head back into your pussy for more, but her eyes remain fixed on you as she wants to catch every one of your reactions to her memory. She didn’t want to miss a single thing.

Sevika runs her hands down the back of your thighs and fully lifts your legs up, folding your knees up to your chest so she can get a better view of your pussy. You whimper at the vulnerable position that she puts you in, and you can’t help but tilt your head to the side and cover your face with the back of your hand in an effort to shield yourself. Sevika notices this and instantly takes her mouth off. “Uh-uh, no hiding,” She muttered in between her movements. She brings her metal hand up to yours and moves it away from your face.

“No hiding that pretty face of yours. If you want me to take apart this needy little pussy, you’re gonna let me hear every sound you make, got it? I want to see and hear all of you.” 

You whimper at her words, nodding quickly as you oblige to look at her. “That’s better…” she mutters, bringing her head back down to continue lapping at your cunt. More moans and whimpers continue to leave your mouth as Sevika keeps licking and sucking all of the wet and sensitive areas of your pussy. Without warning, as a sign of eagerness, she slides two of her fingers inside, and you let out a loud groan of satisfaction as she fills you. “Mm, you like that, needy girl? You like it when I fill you up like this?”  she growls lowly at you, keeping her gaze focused on you. She couldn’t take her eyes off of you—not even for a second. Sevika had to watch every single expression that you would make to know that you felt satisfied with the way she was touching you.

Without a second thought, Sevika gently slides a third finger into your pussy, and the reaction she gets out of you is priceless. Your jaw drops down, and your eyes roll back in pleasure when she begins to curl her fingers inside of you at a painfully slow pace. She leans into you and wraps her lips onto your throbbing clit, giving it the attention it needs. It didn’t take long for her to increase the speed of her fingers, instantly hitting all of the right spots for you to get close. “Oh fuck, Sev! Right there!” You call out to her, your hands gripping the sheets to keep yourself steady as she continues to ram her fingers inside your tight walls.

“You’re such a good girl f’me, lettin’ me hear all of you like that.” Sevika mutters from between your thighs. Her pace goes even faster this time, her hand being so strong that you could feel your whole torso shift back and forth on the bed. Your pussy begins to clench around her fingers, practically sucking them in you and taking them in all to yourself as you start to get close. “S-Sevika, please don’t stop…m’so close.”

“C’mon, sweetheart, cum for me…” Sevika’s fingers never stop moving, and she doesn’t take her eyes off of you as she is desperate to see the look on your face for when you cum undone onto her fingers. Your pussy starts to spasm around her, and the coil in your stomach begins to get tighter and tighter as you reach your peak. However, that building sensation felt a little different than usual. “S-Sevika, baby, wait,” You try to warn her. “I-I think I’m gonna—“

But it was too late. You couldn’t even finish your sentence as a loud moan of her name replaced it instead. Your jaw drops again, and your vision goes white as an obscene amount of your release squirts out of your pussy without warning, completely soaking Sevika’s face, fingers, and your bedsheets.

Sevika watched in awe as the beautiful sight of your orgasm unfolded right in front of her, never once letting her fingers slow down until you were thoroughly done with your release. Then, slowly, she eased her fingers out of you before lifting her head and licking them clean. Her eyes close for a moment as she savors the sweet and salty taste of your cum on her fingers. “My god, darlin’, you taste so damn good.” she mutters under her breath.

Her eyes blink back open and fix back on you as you recover from your high. Your eyes were fluttered shut, your head was tilted back against the pillow, and your breathing was evening itself out. After a few moments, you blink your eyes back open and bring yourself down to see Sevika still lying in between her legs. Her face and the collar of her shirt were soaked in your release, and you looked down to see the mess you created on your bedsheets. “Oh my god…” you gasp out. Your cheeks start to flush in embarrassment, and your trembling thighs close shut once again. A smirk spread across Sevika’s lips over how flustered you were getting. “Never done that before now, have you?” she asked. Your gaze shifts to the side, and you shake your head. Sevika brings her human hand up to your cheek, tilting your head back to her. “That…” she pauses, leaning in to kiss you. “Was the hottest damn thing I’ve ever seen.” She kisses you again and leans into your ear. “No one else gets to make you feel like this. No one else gets to fuck this pussy like I do. You’re all mine now, sweetheart. Mine and only mine.” 

“M’all yours, Sev…” you assure her. You’d hate to admit it, but the way that Sevika got possessive towards you turned you on in a way that you couldn’t explain. However, you couldn’t help but test out if she’d really feel the same way with you. You tilt your head and lean into her. “In that case…does that mean you’re mine too?”

Oh, now Sevika was intrigued. She gently pulled her head back, looking back at you directly. “That a challenge now? You gonna be possessive over me?” she purrs at you, her eyes still locked onto yours. “You’re playing a dangerous game there, sweetheart,” she warns. “And you might get yourself in trouble.”

“Trouble?” you say in mock innocence, clutching your hand over your chest as if you had been threatened by her. “No no no, m’not looking for that. I was simply just wonderin’ if now…” You pause for a moment, moving your head from Sevika’s ear to her neck to gently plant kisses of your own onto her skin. “…if now, I could return the favor.”

Sevika lets a low chuckle escape her, and her eyes flutter shut for a moment just to feel the sensation of your lips against her skin. Her smirk remains on her face, though, still keeping her tough persona on you as she refuses to submit. “Hmm”, she muttered, the tone in her voice laced with amusement. “You think just ‘cause you want it you can get it that easy? You seem to be getting ahead of yourself, sweetheart.”

Your uncertain look shifts into a pout, and Sevika can’t help but chuckle at you. “Ahead of myself? You think just ‘cause you can claim me, I can’t do the same?”

Without thinking twice, you shift away from Sevika and sit up on the bed. You hook your fingers onto the belt loops of her jeans and switch places so she’s now lying down. You go around her and wrap your legs around her torso, keeping you under her grip. You then grab her by the collar of her shirt and pull her towards you, locking your lips with hers in a deep kiss. She lets out a low moan against your lips and wraps an arm around you, her human hand reaching down to grab your ass tightly and keeping you pressed against her. You pull away from her after a moment, and your mouth starts to travel from her lips to her jaw, beginning to mark your territory on Sevika’s tanned skin by planting wet marks of your own.

Sevika let out a low whine as she felt every mark that your lips left behind, and her hand on your ass tightened as you kept going, squeezing your soft flesh between her fingers. “I thought you were gonna be treating me right, huh?” She teases with a smirk, feeling her body start to warm up as her hand moves up to your waist. You simply smirk against her skin, not stopping your movements. “M’just getting started, Sev…” Your hands trail up to the collar of her shirt, fingers meeting together at the first button. The first button pops open under your touch, and you make your way down to the hem until Sevika briefly lifts herself up to fully slide it off her shoulders and toss it to the ground. 

With your legs still wrapped around her, you sit yourself up to admire the sight of her exposed self beneath you. Your eyes trail down from her neck to her breasts, watching in awe over how large and beautiful they were. You trail your hands up and give them a gentle squeeze, watching how her soft flesh seeps through your fingers and feeling her nipples instantly harden under your palms.

A satisfied groan elicits from Sevika’s mouth as she begins melting into your touch. It was almost as if her own body was betraying her and submitting to you. But she couldn’t allow herself to give in like this so easily. “You’re mine,” she reminds you, lifting her hand and lightly running it over your thigh. “You keep touching me like this, and m’not gonna be able to hold back anymore. You sure you’re ready for that, sweetheart?”

A smirk grows on your face, and you lean back down to her level and bring her in for a kiss. “Then don’t hold back, Sevika,” you whisper to her. “You’re mine too, you know… and I’m ready for whatever comes next.”

With that, you continue to mark up the rest of Sevika’s body, your lips making the route south past her breasts and her abdomen, until they make a stop at the waistband of her jeans. Your lips part from her skin, and you begin to undo the belt buckle of her jeans, desperate to get them off of her. Sevika watched with growing desperation as you did so, and as soon as she heard the buckle come undone, she lifted up her hips and slid her jeans and boxers off of her thighs, letting you get rid of them completely.

You kneel back on the heels of your feet as Sevika opens up for you, and the sight of her was fucking glorious. Her brown, puffy folds perfectly framed her cunt which was completely shining with her arousal, and you could just visibly see the movements of her clit throbbing with desperation. Her pussy exhibited a kind of desire that only you could fix.

And so you immediately put yourself to work. You shift down on the bed and lie down on your stomach, your face now being settled in between Sevika’s thighs. With no hesitation, you dive right into her and lick a stripe up her pussy, your eyes closing in pure bliss at the addicting taste of her. 

Sevika lowly moaned your name once your tongue came into contact with her pussy, already so immersed in the pleasure that she didn’t even notice that her hand had tangled its fingers into your hair, holding you tightly against her. “Oh fuck, darlin’…you’re so good at this…” she praises.

Your eyes blink themselves open, briefly falling out of your trance as you look up at Sevika with the purest and most innocent look in your eyes as you meet her heavy ones. Sevika can’t help but slightly lift your face off of her pussy for a moment just to see the full look of you with her arousal now dripping from your lips, smirking as she does so. “Don’t give me that look now, sweetheart. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Her teasing spurs you on, and you lean back into her pussy and continue to lap your tongue up her folds as she continues talking. “Wonder what your dad might think…his sweet girl submitting down to me like this…I bet he’d lose his damn mind if—oh fuck—“ She cuts herself off with a low groan as you insert a finger into her pussy, her nails digging into her scalp as she jerks her hips into your face.

“A-ah—“ you let out a groan against her pussy, and your eyes close shut again, fully immersed in the feeling of having Sevika’s hands in your hair while devouring her pussy. You quickly add in a second finger, and your lips travel up to suck her throbbing clit, causing Sevika to shut her eyes and arch herself further into your face, moaning and pleading you to keep going. “Fuck, oh god, sweetheart…k-keep going…”

Your tongue lays flat on her clit as it shifts up and down, and your fingers start to curl back and forth inside of her, instantly hitting all the right spots as you give her pussy all the attention it needs. Your movements catch Sevika completely off guard, her eyes flying open as she watches you devour her. “Oh fuck, right there! Right fuckin’ there…” she groans out, the wave of pleasure starting to rise in her as you begin to go faster.

It didn’t take long for Sevika to get close, and you could tell she was by the way her pussy began to clench and contract around your fingers. “God damn, darlin’, don’t fuckin’ stop…m’so close…” she pleads out to you. It was almost as if Sevika had no control over her pleasure anymore and became reliant on you to make her finish, and that’s exactly what you were going to do.

Sevika’s body begins to convulse, and you quickly lift your mouth off of her clit and replace it with your thumb, quickly rubbing it in circular motions as your eyes stay fixed on her, impatiently waiting to see the look on her face for when she comes undone. Sevika’s moans grow louder, quickly turning into cries of pleasure until she reaches her peak and cums with a final cry of your name as her eyes roll to the back of her head. Her pussy squeezes a few more times until your fingers are met with the warmth of her release, creaming them from your fingertips down to your knuckles. It was truly the most beautiful sight you have seen and felt.

As Sevika comes down from her high, she finds herself unable to say anything or even get a full breath until your fingers slow down and withdraw from her completely. Her eyes then flutter back open to see you sucking your fingers clean and savoring the salty taste of her release on your tastebuds. “My god, sweetheart…you can’t even imagine what you just did to me…” Sevika managed to say, lifting her metal hand to hold the side of your face. You lean into the palm of her prosthetic as it cups your cheek, and you pull your fingers out of your mouth once they were clean so you could speak. “I told you I can claim you just as good.” you say with a giggle.

Sevika let out a sharp exhale as she took in the sight of you. “I sure see that now…” she then slowly sits herself up, a smirk beginning to rise on her face as she leans in to kiss you, briefly tasting her release on your lips before pulling away. “Think you got another one in you, darlin’?”

Your eyes remain on hers when she asks you that, an eyebrow raising up as curiosity begins to pique your interest. “Depends if I can handle it, baby… What do you have in mind?”

Sevika lets out a chuckle as her metal hand moves to your chin and pulls you in for a deeper kiss. “For starters, how about we trade places, yeah?” she coos out, her hand sliding down from your chin to your waist, slowly rolling you over so you’re back to lying down on your bed with her hovering over you. She then leans back on the heels of her feet to grab onto each of your legs and she spreads them as far open as possible. To no surprise, you were completely wet for her again, as if she hadn’t even touched you at all. 

Sevika lets out a low groan at the sight of you, completely helpless and vulnerable under her grasp. “Mmm, you look so pretty like this, sweetheart…” she purrs out, her eyes never leaving your lower half. As she takes in the sight, Sevika lets a small smirk rise to her face as she leans down closer to your pussy, her grip remaining firm on your legs. “Such a pretty little thing…and so wet for me again already…it’s like she’s crying for more of me.” She continues, shifting her face closer.

“Mmm, Sev…again…” you whine out to her, then let out a soft moan as you feel that familiar tongue of hers lick a new stripe through your folds, followed by a hum of satisfaction coming from her. You had fully given yourself the expectation that Sevika would use her mouth and fingers on you again, but that wouldn’t be the case this time.

Sevika lifts her head back up and takes a second to admire how you looked under her; with your legs spread out under her tight grip and your soaked pussy clenching around nothing as a desperate sign to be filled up. She silently cursed herself for not wearing her strap tonight. She would’ve loved to see the beautiful sight of you being split open by her cock, thrusting into your pussy relentlessly until you’re shaking and coating her length with your release. However, she also wasn’t going to end the night abruptly and miss out on the opportunity to fuck you again, so she had to improvise.

With that, Sevika opens her own legs while keeping her grip on yours. She then hovers over you and presses her pussy right on top of yours, causing you to let out a gasp at the newfound feeling. The way that Sevika’s pussy fit perfectly against yours like that—the way her folds meshed on top of yours as if it were the missing piece of a puzzle—felt so satisfying to you.

Sevika lets out a moan once her cunt came into contact with yours, eyes fixed on the sight of it before she looks back up at you. “You feel that, sweetheart? Feel how good we fit together?” she muses out before pressing down even more and grinding up against you. “It’s like you were made for me, darlin’…Every part of you fits me right where it belongs.” As she felt how addicting it was to rub up against you, Sevika found herself closing her eyes and letting out more soft sounds of pleasure as she continued to slowly grind her pussy over yours. Your body gives the same reaction, your eyes fluttering themselves shut and your head slowly tilting back against the pillow, moaning at the sensation. “S-Sev, my God—you feel amazing…”

Without stopping her slow movements, Sevika slides her prosthetic hand under your head and gently tilts it up, leading you to open your eyes and look at her. You were so in awe of how she looked, how she sounded, and most of all, how she felt against you. It felt like you were in a fever dream. You were completely drunk on her, and she knew it. She loved it.

“S-Sev…” you gasp out, taking a second to catch your breath. “D-Don’t stop—ah!” 

Sevika brushes her clit over yours, causing you to cut off your sentence with a cry of pleasure. Your head throws back against her hand, and your body arches itself further into her pussy. Sevika lets out another low groan on her end, and her hand sets your head back onto the pillow and trails downwards to press down on your lower stomach. “You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart,” she murmurs, increasing the pace of her grinding. “You just keep making those sounds for me—ah—you sound so pretty baby…”

You start to whine under her as your gaze drops down to where you and Sevika were connected, and you can’t help but weakly grind against her, desperate to chase that stimulation again. Sevika looks down on you and smirks. She could tell you were trying to ask her something. “What is it, darlin’? You wanna feel that again?” 

Sevika felt no reason to ask again or to hear an answer from you. She fulfills your need as she brings her hand down to your pussy and lifts the hood with her thumb to expose your clit to her. She then adjusts herself upwards so her clit can stay directly pressed onto yours. “There you go, sweetheart…” she purrs out, moaning as your clit begins to throb against hers. “You just take that, baby…take my pussy for me like a good girl.” She begins to grind faster after that, making sure her clit rubs against yours with every move of her hips. But it still wasn’t enough.

“F-Faster, Sev, please…need to get there…” you plead out to her once more, and without a second thought—with no warning whatsoever—Sevika gives it her all and her movements start to go at a fast and relentless pace, completely catching you off guard. “Oh fuck, Sev! Right t-there, o-oh God…” Your words trail out at the end and your jaw goes slack at the intense pleasure she was hitting you with. Sevika couldn’t help but admire the sinful sight of you under her—so vulnerable and drunk in pleasure, with your mouth agape and your eyes all hooded, your hands still gripping tightly onto the sheets and your breasts bouncing uncontrollably as Sevika continued to ram her pussy against yours. It was a sight that she never wanted to stop seeing.

“Mmm…y-you look so…fuckin’ pretty like…this…” Sevika moans out to you, her words coming out in a heated tone as she watches your blissed-out expression. “Look how good you’re taking my pussy for me, my sweet girl…” Sevika presses herself harder against you, and you don’t even realize it, but she ends up taking your leg that was on top of hers and folds it to your chest to get a better angle, making sure she continues to hit the right spots for the two of you to finish. You start to cry in pleasure over the new position, and your legs start to shake under her grasp. “Sevika! O-Oh God, Sev—Right there! Right there, please!” you exclaim, practically begging her to keep her position there. The two of you were at your loudest right now. Between your cries and begs of pleasure, Sevika’s groaning, and the pornographic sound of your pussies squelching as they rub against each other, you’re honestly surprised that the two of you haven’t woken up the entire town at this point.

Sevika lets out a low, heated groan in response to your words, her movements not stopping one bit “Mmm, fuck…my God you feel so good…” she says, her breathing now coming out in heavy, uneven pants. As Sevika keeps her human hand on your thigh, her metal hand swings above your head and grabs onto the headboard to keep herself steady. The familiar coil in your stomach begins to form, and you start to get close again. “S-Sev…I…I’m so…” you pant out to her, trying your best to get the words out of your mouth. Sevika simply shushes you, trying to have you save whatever energy you had left in you for your release. “Shhh, baby, I know, I know…” she coos back, opening her eyes to look down at you. “Just let it go for me, sweetheart…let it all out.”

Sevika continues to talk you through it as you reach your peak, and with that, her clit brushes up against yours a few more times which finally pushes you both over the edge. Your cries of pleasure start to go in sync with her groaning, and both pussies begin to spasm around each other before you cum all over Sevika’s folds with a loud moan of her name. Sevika catches her release shortly after you, her hips stuttering out before finishing with a loud groan as her fluids spill out of her pussy and land onto yours. The two of you take a moment to catch each other’s breath, and Sevika slowly loosens her grip on your thigh while she lets go of the headboard. The two of you look down to where you were both connected, and Sevika pulls her cunt away from yours, causing you to whine at the loss. The strings of slick connecting the two of you breaks and Sevika slowly closes your legs before settling down next to you. “Mmm…sweetheart...You did so well for me…” she murmurs to you as she gently kisses your shoulder, her voice still filled in a deep and husky tone. Even after having sex with her, you still couldn’t help but find her voice to be intoxicating.

You simply hum at her in response and try to muster up some energy to tilt your head over and plant a quick kiss on her lips, leading the older woman to wrap her human arm around you and pull you closer to her. The warmth of Sevika’s embrace fades into the stillness of your bedroom, and the exhaustion catches up to you quickly, causing your eyes to flutter shut as slumber starts to consume you. It feels like only a moment has passed when your eyes open again, and you find yourself tucked beneath a clean set of sheets and a barrier of soft cotton hugging your figure. Your eyes slowly dart around your bedroom, and your heart sinks when you see Sevika with her boxers back on and searching for the rest of her clothes. A lump forms in your throat as you realize she’s getting ready to leave. You want to ask her to stay, just a little longer, even though you both know she has to go before your dad comes back. Before you can stop yourself, the words are quick to slip out of your mouth.

“Sevika?” you call out softly, your voice still laced with sleep. Sevika is quick to stop what she was doing to tend to you. “Hey there,” she says, giving you a soft smile once she sees that you had woken up. “You alright?”

You hesitate for a moment before continuing. The words feel heavy on your tongue, but the ache that was growing in your chest outdoes it. “Could you…could you stay…just a little longer? Please?” you finally ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sevika pauses, and her eyes flicker to the window where the faint glow of the moonlight is still filtering through it. For a moment, you thought she’d say no—but this time, she gives in—and whatever worries about your dad's arrival in the morning seemed to fade as she turned back to you with ease. “Of course, sweetheart…I’ll stay with you.” she murmurs, her voice tender as she removes her prosthetic arm and sets it down on the ground next to the bed. The weight of the bed shifts as Sevika climbs back into bed and lies down right behind you. Her human hand wraps around your waist and pulls you close to her. You instantly melt into her strong, warm embrace, but you can’t shake the possibility of your father walking in on the two of you, making you feel uneasy. Sevika is quick to take note of this and leans in to plant a couple of soft kisses on your shoulder blade, her lips brushing your ear as she leans into you. “Hey. Don’t worry about that right now, okay?” she murmurs. “Everything will be fine, I promise…I’ve got you.”

You nod, the weight of her words sinking in as her embrace wraps you in comfort and warmth. Slowly, the uneasiness disappears, soon replaced by a sense of peace only Sevika could give you. With her presence beside you, you let go of all your worries, and the gentle rhythm of her breathing brings you into a deep, restful sleep. As you drift off, a soft, reassuring thought crosses your mind—this night with Sevika felt like the start of something real, something that won’t fade.

For now, you’re unsure of what the future might hold, but with Sevika by your side, you feel ready for whatever could happen next.

god i wish she was real

2025 © atomicami | all rights reserved. do not copy, modify, or translate any of my works.

[dixons-sunshine]

Improvement | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: After starting a playful argument with your partner about not knowing whether or not he had improved since you two first slept together all those years ago—which you knew he had, you were just messing with him—Daryl decided to take matters into his own hands.

Era: Alexandria, can be any time post Saviour war.

Genre: Smut.

Warnings: Porn without plot, basically, soft sex (I think), unprotected p in v, swearing, dirty talk, praise, others I am probably missing.

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: So...hi lol. I haven’t written anything in over three weeks, so this was long overdue. This was mainly written for practice because I am not that confident in my smut writing skills, but I hope you all like this! And thank you so much to @dixonsdarkelf for being a second set of eyes 💜

The sound of soft gasps and groans filled the air in the bedroom. The sun had begun its descent into the horizon, illuminating the room in a way that gave the atmosphere a more romantic feel. The room was warm, the summer heat clinging to every atom it could. However, the heat in the room did not compare to the warmth of the archer on top of you.

Daryl’s warm, solid body pressed against yours, his bare chest nearly flush against yours, your breasts moving with each thrust of his hips. His face was buried in your neck, his breathing heavy and erratic, his eyes closed as he relished the feeling of pure, utter bliss that washed over his body. Your moans and gasps of pleasure reached his ears with each snap of his hips against yours, and that sound was like music.

“Oh, Daryl,” you drawled your partner’s name, your voice several octaves higher than usual. Daryl’s dick dragged against your walls deliciously, hitting that one spot inside of you that he knew well. “Oh god, just like that.”

“Yeah?” Daryl whispered into your ear, breathless and panting. He snapped his hips against yours, his cock hitting that spot once more, and it tore a breathless ‘Daryl’ from your chest. Soft, almost asking, begging, pleading for him to get you over that edge in the way that only he could. “Y’like that, Sweetheart?”

You nodded frantically, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when he picked up his pace, going a little faster, a little harder, a little deeper. “Yes,” you whined, your fingers tangling in his brown locks. “Jesus Christ, please don’t stop.”

“Not even if the world was endin’,” Daryl promised you. He pulled his head up from your neck, only to then lower it back down to capture your lips with his for a messy but absolutely perfect kiss.

If it were any other situation, you would make a joke about what he said. Probably say something along the lines of “well the world already ended.” But not now. Not while he was making you feel so good. Not while you were steadily approaching that edge, getting ready to dive headfirst off of it, right into the pool of immense pleasure.

Without breaking the kiss, and without letting his pace falter, Daryl snuck one of his hands down your body, gliding lower and lower, softly kneading at your flesh along the way, until it reached its destination. Daryl smirked slightly against your lips when he gently pressed his thumb against your clit, loving the way your body responded to his touch.

Not missing a beat, he began rubbing slow, tight circles against the little bundle of nerves, his kisses trailing from your mouth to your cheek, your jaw, down your neck to your collarbone. The urge to mark you was strong, but he resisted. You were going on a run that following day, with people in the group who would be relentless in their teasing if they saw hickeys on you. Because of that, his teeth only lightly nipped at your flesh, enough to cause pressure but not enough to leave a mark.

“Oh my—oh my god.” The sounds that escaped your mouth were downright pornographic. Your mind was clouded, that coil in your belly winding tighter and tighter. You weren’t going to last much longer, that you knew for certain.

Daryl groaned when you lightly tugged his hair, his breath hitching at the feeling of you clenching on his cock, squeezing him, a sign that you were at your peak. You just needed that little push to fully let go.

“Come on, Sweetheart,” Daryl whispered into your ear, pressing a tender kiss to the skin there. “Let go f’me. Wanna feel you.”

Almost as if his words were the key to unlock the metaphorical gate, the coil in your stomach snapped. Waves upon waves of pure, unadulterated pleasure washed over you. You arched your back and let your hands fall to Daryl’s shoulders, gripping them to try and ground yourself as your orgasm continued to take over your body. Soft whimpers spewed from your lips, muffled only by the archer kissing you once more. You could taste the faint linger of the cigarette he had earlier on his tongue, mixed with the flavour of the whiskey he had drunk before this. There was something else as well, something you could not quite make out, but that wasn’t important.

When the fog in your mind cleared just enough for you to be lucid, you detached your lips from his and focused on Daryl. His brow was furrowed, quiet grunts slipping past his lips as his thrusts grew sloppier, but his pace sped up. He was close. You knew it. You could practically feel it.

“You close, Baby?” you asked breathlessly, leaning up slightly to press your lips to his jaw. “You gonna let go for me this time?” Your lips moved lower, lightly nipping at the flesh beneath his jaw and smirking slightly when Daryl muttered a quiet fuck. “Come on, Dar.”

With one, two, three more thrusts, Daryl came undone. He snapped his hips forward, locking himself there as he spilled deep inside of you, small, quiet curses spilled past his lips. The archer dropped his head to rest against your shoulder, his body shaking and his mind clouding up in the best way possible.

You were breathless, still coming down from your own euphoric high as you held Daryl, your fingers gliding through his hair and lightly scratching his scalp as they went. The huntsman was panting, his eyes screwed shut and holding his body weight up with his shaking arms, trying his hardest not just to collapse on top of you.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, just basking in each other’s presence and slowly coming back to reality. It was peaceful, quiet, except for the sound of your erratic breathing that was beginning to even out.

You were the first to break the silence. “Wow.”

That made Daryl chuckle. He lifted his head and gazed down at you, his beautiful ocean-like eyes scanning over your face. Even after all these years together, after many times of being in this exact position, Daryl could never get over how absolutely gorgeous you looked post orgasm, how you seemed to positively glow. “Yeah. Wow.”

You raised your hand and gently cupped Daryl’s cheek, a lazy, contented smile on your face. “I love you.”

A small, genuine smile graced the archer’s features. He turned his head and pressed a tender kiss to your wrist. “Love ya too.”

Slowly and carefully, he gently eased his cock out of you, and you instantly missed the feeling of him. However, your heart swelled with love when you saw Daryl reached for his discarded shirt on the floor, using it as a makeshift rag and gently cleaning you up. When he was done, he flopped down on the bed next to you, opening his arms so that you could snuggle into his chest, which you did.

With a contented sigh, you closed your eyes. However, Daryl’s voice cut through the air before you could begin to drift off.

“Y’think I’ve improved?”

Laughing lightly, thoughts of your earlier playful argument surfaced to the forefront of your mind, the very reason you both were here at that moment. “Yeah,” you mused. “You have definitely improved since our first time.”

Daryl hummed, a small, satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “Told ya so.”

“Oh I know you’ve improved. I was just joking around earlier,” you told him, pressing a kiss to his chest. “And I was hoping that it would rile you up so that this could happen.”

“Mhm,” Daryl hummed again. “You could’a jus’ asked.”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” you joked. “Seeing you all riled up…it’s hot as fuck.”

Daryl scoffed, but that small smile didn’t falter. “If ya say so.”

[heejamas]

out of tune ˖ ୨ 🎙◞⋆ ☆

pairing: producer!beomgyu x producer!femreader part 1 // part 2 // part 3

summary: you and beomgyu have been at each other’s throats since day one at HYBE. both of you are producers, both of you are talented, and both of you absolutely refuse to lose to the other. whether it’s competing for the best demo, fighting over studio time, or bickering in team meetings, everyone knows one thing: you and beomgyu cannot stand each other so, of course, your boss decides to put you two on the same project—producing ENHYPEN’s next album. together. as in, sharing a studio, making creative decisions, and not murdering each other in the process. and suddenly, the tension isn’t just about work.

genre: enemies to lovers, coworkers to lovers, slow burn, angst with a good payoff // w/c: 27k // warnings: not entirely proofread, smoking (reader and beomgyu smoke), drinking, angst, jealously, overworking characters, classic enemies to lovers type of plot

author's note: GUYS. i’m finally releasing this prisoner that’s been rotting in my drafts for a million years this one’s a longer fic, so i’m splitting it into part 1 and part 2! it’s definitely a slowburn, and also my first time writing a full-length fic like this. read part 2 here!!

out of tune's playlist <3

The HYBE cafeteria was unusually bright today. Or maybe that was just your headache talking.

You sat slumped at one of the corner tables, your laptop was open in front of you, but the words on the screen blurred together every time you tried to focus. Your body was in the office, but your soul was still somewhere on the dance floor from last night.

You were never drinking again.

A cup of coffee slid into your line of vision. You blinked, slowly lifting your head to see the familiar figure dropping into the seat beside you.

“Rough night?” Taehyun asked, amusement laced in his voice.

You didn’t answer, just wrapped both hands around the coffee like it was a lifeline and nodded your thanks. You took a sip, the bitter warmth cutting through the fog in your brain, and exhaled through your nose.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he pressed.

You finally peeled off your glasses and turned to him with a deadpan expression. “Do I look like I had a peaceful night?”

Taehyun let out a soft laugh. “No. You look like someone who made a lot of bad decisions and is currently regretting all of them.”

You sighed. “That’s exactly what happened.”

Taehyun was one of the few people in this building you actually liked. As a manager for a junior HYBE group, he wasn’t directly involved in your work, but somehow, over shared coffee breaks and snarky side comments during meetings, you had become friends. He was calm, observant, and, most importantly, he never judged you when you showed up like this.

“Who dragged you out last night?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Yunjin,” you mumbled, rubbing your temple.

Taehyun whistled. “That explains it. She doesn’t just go out—she goes out.”

“Tell me about it.” You shook your head. For a few moments, you just sat there, sipping your coffee in comfortable silence. The caffeine was starting to work, clearing the fog in your brain just enough for you to remember why you had dragged yourself out of bed in the first place.

“Anyway,” Taehyun said, as if reading your mind, “you think you got it?”

You glanced at him. “Got what?”

“The ENHYPEN album. You think you landed the producer role?”

You exhaled slowly, fingers tapping against your coffee cup. “Yeah. I mean, I should. I have the best pitch. It’s mine to lose.”

Taehyun hummed, watching you carefully. “Unless…”

You groaned, already knowing where this was going. “Unless the company decides to give it to Beomgyu.”

His lips quirked up slightly, but he didn’t deny it. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. If there was one person in this entire company who got under your skin more than anyone else, it was Choi Beomgyu. Beomgyu, your so-called “rival.” Beomgyu, the golden boy of the production team. Beomgyu, the one person standing between you and total creative dominance.

Since the moment you started working at HYBE, the two of you had been locked in a never-ending competition. You were both young, both talented, and both desperate to prove you were the best. Every project turned into a silent battle. Every meeting became a chance to outshine each other. Every time you thought you had the upper hand, he came back swinging with something better.

And, worst of all, he was good. As much as you hated to admit it, Beomgyu was one of the most talented producers in the company. His compositions were sharp, his sound design was clean, and when he wasn’t being an arrogant pain in your ass, he actually had an ear for what made a song great. But that didn’t make him any less infuriating.

“He’s been talking about it a lot,” Taehyun said, watching your reaction.

“Of course, he has,” you muttered. “He loves the sound of his own voice.”

Before Taehyun could press you, your phone buzzed with a notification. Your stomach flipped when you saw the email preview on your screen.

[HYBE Entertainment] Producer Assignment for ENHYPEN’s Next Album

Taehyun caught the way your shoulders tensed. “Well?”

You swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and opened it. And then, in bold letters, you saw it:

Lead Producers: Y/N & Choi Beomgyu.

You stared at the screen, unblinking.

Taehyun leaned over. “So?”

Slowly, you turned to him. “I hate this company.”

You barely had time to process your misery before you were ushered into one of the production meeting rooms. The headache was still lingering, but the coffee had helped enough that you could at least pretend to be functioning.

Across the table sat Baekhyun, ENHYPEN’s main A&R manager, flipping through a thick binder filled with concepts, references, and scribbled notes. He was in his mid-thirties, sharp-eyed and always impossibly put-together, the kind of guy who could walk into any room and immediately command attention.

“You look like hell,” he said, not even bothering with a greeting.

“Good morning to you too,” you muttered, dropping into your chair.

Baekhyun smirked, but didn’t push further. Instead, he slid the binder toward you. “Alright, let’s get to it. This is going to be ENHYPEN’s biggest album yet. They’re growing like crazy, and we need something that reflects that—something bold, mature, but still fresh.”

You nodded, flipping through the pages. There were mood boards, keywords, visual concepts—deep reds, blacks, a contrast of sharp and soft. “So, a sexy vibe,” you noted.

“Sexy, but not just for the sake of being sexy,” Baekhyun clarified. “It’s not about being provocative, it’s about confidence, about knowing your worth and expressing it. It needs to feel natural, not forced.”

“Got it,” you said, scanning a page filled with song references—everything from dark R&B to stripped-back acoustic ballads. “And the sound?”

“We want duality,” Baekhyun said, leaning forward. “Something sleek, something intense, but balanced with softer, more emotional tracks. Like… a contrast between the chase and the catch.”

You smirked. “So basically, heartbreak wrapped in temptation.”

Baekhyun snapped his fingers. “Exactly.”

You nodded, your mind already racing with ideas. This was the kind of project you thrived on, creating an album that told a story, something cohesive but layered, something that felt alive.

“I can already hear it,” you murmured, flipping to a blank page and jotting down rough ideas. “We need instrumentals that hit deep, a mix of live elements and modern production. R&B basslines, warm analog synths, breathy vocals in the right places…”

Baekhyun grinned. “See? This is why I knew you were the right person for this.” Your ego swelled, but before you could respond, he casually added— “And why Beomgyu is the perfect person to work on this with you.”

Just like that, your mood soured. You shut the binder and looked up at him, unimpressed. “Really?”

Baekhyun laughed. “Don’t start.”

“I’m just saying—”

“You’re just saying that you don’t like him. Which, frankly, is why this is going to be so interesting.”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “We have completely different styles.”

“Which is exactly why this works. You bring structure, he brings unpredictability. You focus on energy, he focuses on emotion. You push each other, even when you don’t realize it.” You groaned, but you knew he wasn’t wrong. Baekhyun leaned back, watching you with an amused glint in his eyes. “You know, if you two weren’t so busy trying to one-up each other all the time, you might actually make a great team.”

You scoffed. “Doubtful.” Baekhyun only shrugged, a knowing smile on his face. You sighed, standing up and gathering your notes. “Fine. If this album flops, I’m blaming you.”

He smirked. “Noted.”

You turned toward the door, bracing yourself for the inevitable headache that would come from working directly with Beomgyu for the next few months. But as soon as you pulled it open, you nearly walked straight into someone.

Someone tall, with long black hair falling messily over sharp eyes that gleamed with something infuriatingly smug. His features were all sharp angles and effortless confidence, full lips curled into a smirk, the kind that made your blood pressure spike before he even said a word.

Choi Beomgyu.

Dressed in an oversized black hoodie layered under a leather jacket, silver chains peeking out from the neckline, and ripped jeans that looked both expensive and carelessly thrown on, he looked every bit like the type of person who thrived in controlled chaos. Like someone who knew exactly how to get under your skin and enjoyed every second of it. And he always made it look easy.

Your stomach twisted, not with nerves, not with excitement, but with that same frustrating mixture of irritation and awareness that always came with him. Because no matter how much you tried to ignore it, Beomgyu had a presence. The kind that made a room feel smaller when he walked in, like he pulled all the energy toward himself without even trying.

He was leaning casually against the doorframe, like he had been waiting for you to walk straight into him. His dark eyes flickered down at you, amused. He chuckled, stepping aside just enough for you to pass. But before you could make your escape, Baekhyun called from inside the room—

“Beomgyu, perfect timing. Y/N and I were just talking about how great you two are going to be working together.”

You clenched your jaw. Beomgyu turned to you, raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“No,” you deadpanned. “We weren’t.”

Beomgyu grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “Too bad, cause I think we’re going to have so much fun.”

You took a slow breath, reminding yourself that murder was illegal. Then, without another word, you pushed past him and walked out of the room. Behind you, you could hear him laugh under his breath.

This was going to be hell.

By the time you finally stepped out of the HYBE building, the sky had already melted into deep shades of indigo. The day had been long, hours spent inside the studio, fine-tuning beats, layering harmonies, trying to shape the skeleton of a project that didn’t even exist yet. Your brain felt like mush, the melodies still buzzing in your head like an overplayed song on repeat.

You shoved your hands into your jacket pockets, letting the cool night air wake you up a little as you made your way toward the subway. Your body ached, exhaustion settling into your bones, but your mind wouldn’t shut up.

It was annoying how easy it was to think about the project, how ideas kept forming without you even trying. Even more annoying? The realization that, in some twisted way, Beomgyu was actually a good fit for this album. You hated that it made sense.

Because as much as you wanted to believe you could do this on your own, you weren’t stupid. You knew your strengths, you were a producer first, a composer second. Melodies came naturally to you, the kind that could make someone feel something without even needing lyrics. But lyrics weren’t your strong suit. You could write, sure, but not the way Beomgyu could.

That was the problem. He was good. And he knew he was good.

His songwriting had this effortless quality, like he wasn’t just writing songs, he was telling stories. He knew how to take a concept and turn it into something that felt real. And if this album was supposed to be all about desire, longing, and the push-and-pull of emotions, then yeah, maybe he was the right person for this. But you’d rather die than admit that out loud.

With a tired sigh, you pushed the thought away as your train pulled up to the station. You just needed to go home, take a hot shower, and vent to the one person who wouldn’t hesitate to call you out on your bullshit.

By the time you unlocked the door to your apartment, you could already hear the faint sound of music playing from the living room.

Yeonjun was sprawled across the couch, laptop balanced on his stomach, probably tweaking some mix for one of his own projects. He worked at SM, but somehow, despite the constant rivalry between companies, the two of you had ended up as roommates.

Not that it was surprising. You had known each other for years, long before either of you had started working in the industry. Your friendship had survived everything: late-night study sessions in college, chaotic moving days, and now, the shared struggle of being overworked producers.

When you enter your place, the smell of something warm and familiar wrapped around you instantly. “You cooked?” Your voice came out halfway between shock and suspicion.

Yeonjun, who was also eating his ramen, looked up to give you an unimpressed look. “First of all, rude.”

You let out a breathy laugh, kicking off your shoes. “I mean, last time you ‘cooked,’ we almost set off the fire alarm, so forgive me for being a little traumatized.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Instead, he gestured toward the table, where two bowls were already set out. “Sit. Eat. You look like you just survived a war.”

You groaned, dragging yourself to a chair. “I feel like I just survived a war.”

He lifted up, and sat across from you, resting his chin in his hand as he watched you take the first bite. The warmth of the broth was immediate, soothing the tightness in your chest that you hadn’t even realized was there. Yeonjun waited until you had eaten a little before speaking again, voice softer now. “Long day?”

You exhaled, rolling your shoulders. “Yeah. But…” You paused, picking at your noodles with your chopsticks. “I got it.”

Yeonjun blinked. “Got what?”

“The Enhypen album,” you said, finally looking at him. “Baekhyun gave me the project.”

For a second, he just stared at you. Then, his face lit up. “Oh, shit!” He practically lunged over the table to shake your shoulders. “Y/N, that’s huge! Why didn’t you say that first?”

You laughed, swatting his hands away. “I was getting there!”

“You deserve this,” he said, grinning as he leaned back again. “Seriously, they couldn’t have picked anyone better. I knew this was yours.”

His words sent a strange warmth through your chest, one that had nothing to do with the ramen. “Thanks,” you murmured, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I really wanted it.”

Yeonjun’s smile softened. “And now you have it.” Then, after a beat—“Wait, this means you’ll be locked in the studio for months. I’m never gonna see you.”

You snorted. “Please. You’ll be begging me to stop ranting about synth layers by the end of next week.”

“Okay, yeah, probably.” He smirked. “So, what’s the concept?”

You sat back, letting your head rest against the chair as you thought about it. “Sexy, but in a romantic way. Like… polished, expensive. Desire, but not in a loud way. It’s supposed to be smooth. Mature. A little dangerous, but still aching for something real.”

Yeonjun let out a low whistle. “Damn. Sounds like a dream album.”

You nodded, your fingers drumming absentmindedly against the table. “I spent all day trying to build a soundscape that fits that vibe. The melodies are coming together, but…” You hesitated. “It’s missing something.”

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow. “What?”

You exhaled, tapping your chopsticks against your bowl. “Lyrics.”

He didn’t say anything, just tilted his head, waiting. You sighed, rubbing your temple. “Baekhyun thinks it’s the kind of album that needs a really strong lyrical identity. It has to feel intentional. Like every word matters. And… I get it. But that’s not really my strong suit, you know?”

Yeonjun nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “So… you need a songwriter.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah. And that’s the problem. Because Baekhyun already assigned me one.”

Yeonjun’s lips curled at the edges. “Lemme guess.”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “Yep.”

His grin stretched wider. “Beomgyu.”

You pointed your chopsticks at him. “Don’t start.”

He just laughed, leaning back against his chair. “I mean, I get it. He’s good. And if the concept is all about longing, I hate to admit it, but that’s his thing.”

You exhaled sharply. “I know. That’s what’s pissing me off.”

Yeonjun chuckled. “So what, you guys are just gonna be stuck in a studio together for the next few months?”

You poked at your ramen. “Pretty much.”

“You gonna survive that?”

You scoffed. “I’ll manage.”

Yeonjun gave you a knowing look. “You say that now, but I know you. You’re gonna drive yourself insane over this.”

You groaned. “Ugh. Don’t remind me.”

He nudged your foot under the table. “Hey. For what it’s worth, I think this is gonna be good for you.”

You frowned. “How?”

“Because,” he said simply, “Beomgyu pushes you. You hate it, but you need it. And whether you want to admit it or not, the two of you working together? It’s gonna make something insane.”

You stared at him for a long moment, then sighed, dropping your head onto the table dramatically. “Why do you have to be so right all the time?”

He laughed, reaching over to ruffle your hair. “It’s a curse.”

You swatted his hand away, but the heaviness in your chest felt a little lighter. Maybe Yeonjun was right. Maybe this was exactly what you needed. But still, if Beomgyu so much as breathed wrong, you were going to kill him.

The sound of your alarm was the first thing you registered. Sharp, insistent, and entirely too aggressive for this early in the morning You groaned, rolling onto your side to slap at your phone blindly. A soft knock came from your door.

“You alive in there?” Yeonjun’s voice was muffled but amused.

“Barely,” you grumbled.

The door creaked open slightly. “You’ve got ten minutes before I leave. If you’re not ready, I’m not waiting.”

Liar. He always waited. Still, you forced yourself up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You barely had time to throw on some semi-presentable clothes before you were slipping into Yeonjun’s car.

The drive was comfortable, filled with sleepy silence and whatever playlist Yeonjun had on shuffle. Every now and then, he’d hum along to a song or tap his fingers against the steering wheel, the familiarity of it making your exhaustion a little easier to bear.

“Big day?” he asked eventually.

You sighed. “Yeah.”

Yeonjun glanced at you. “You nervous?”

You shook your head. “No. Just… mentally preparing myself.”

He smirked. “For the album or for Beomgyu?”

You shot him a glare. “Drop me off right here. I’ll walk.”

He snorted, pulling up in front of the HYBE building. “Good luck,” he said as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “Try not to freak out.”

“No promises,” you muttered, stepping out.

As you made your way inside, the familiar hum of the building’s early morning routine surrounded you, employees shuffling in, conversations murmuring in the background, the faint notes of music drifting from a nearby studio. Your first stop, as always, was the company café. You needed caffeine. But as you approached the counter, your mood soured instantly.

Because standing there—already engaged in conversation—was none other than Beomgyu.

And he wasn’t alone. Taehyun, of all people, was with him, the two of them deep in discussion. The sight made your stomach twist weirdly. You had always found it strange how someone as levelheaded as Taehyun could willingly spend so much time with him.

You weren’t sure what they were talking about, but the second Taehyun spotted you, his face lit up. “Morning, Y/N,” he greeted, completely oblivious to the way your eyes immediately locked onto Beomgyu.

“Morning,” you replied, forcing yourself to focus on Taehyun instead. “Didn’t know you two were having a little coffee date.”

Taehyun rolled his eyes, but Beomgyu, ever the opportunist, smirked. “Jealous?” he asked.

You scoffed. “Of what, exactly?”

Beomgyu shrugged, stirring his coffee lazily. “Me. Him. This moment of pure camaraderie.”

You gave him a deadpan look. Taehyun sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know why I even try.”

Before you could respond, Beomgyu leaned against the counter, regarding you with that ever-present smugness. “Baekhyun told you about the meeting, right?”

You narrowed your eyes. “What meeting?”

Beomgyu’s smirk widened. “Figures.”

You groaned. “Beomgyu.”

The songwriter just lifted his cup to his lips, clearly enjoying this. He swallowed his sip of coffee, dragging out the silence before finally saying, “Baekhyun scheduled a meeting for us. With Heeseung.”

Your brows furrowed. “Heeseung?”

“He’s co-producing some of the album,” Taehyun explained. “He’s been really hands-on with this comeback.”

You nodded slowly. You had known Heeseung was involved, but this was the first you were hearing about an actual meeting. “So when is this happening?” you asked.

Beomgyu glanced at his watch. “In about… twenty minutes.”

You inhaled sharply. “Are you serious?”

Beomgyu grinned. “What? You need more time to prepare?”

You opened your mouth, probably to say something regrettable, but Taehyun quickly stepped in. “Okay, let’s not start this before a meeting.” He shot you both a pointed look. “Try to behave, yeah?”

You exhaled sharply, turning back to the counter to grab your coffee. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” You turned on your heel, shooting him one last glare before heading for the conference room. This was going to be a long day.

The conference room is sleek, all clean lines and soundproofed walls, but the air inside feels thick with expectation. You lean against the table, arms crossed, trying not to let the weight of the situation sink in too much. Across from you, Beomgyu sits with his usual careless ease, twirling a pen between his fingers like he’s got all the time in the world.

Baekhyun flips through the binder of notes, while Heeseung sits beside him, watching everything with that sharp, unreadable gaze of his. Heeseung is a lot of things, an incredible performer, a perfectionist, and most of all, observant. Even now, you can feel him studying you and Beomgyu, picking up on things you aren’t even saying out loud.

"Alright," Baekhyun says, snapping the binder shut. "This album is going to be big, but we need it to feel cohesive. That’s why I brought you three together." He nods toward Heeseung. "Heeseung's been working on the overall creative direction with the group, so he’s got a vision for the sound. But you two—" he looks between you and Beomgyu, "—need to bring that vision to life."

Heeseung leans forward, clasping his hands together. "I have some ideas for the emotional beats of the album. I think it should feel… layered. Not just desire for the sake of desire, but something deeper. Craving, frustration, vulnerability. The kind of push-and-pull that makes people feel something."

You nod, already picturing melodies in your head. "I get that. It can’t just be surface-level. The production has to carry that duality too, something sleek but aching underneath."

Beomgyu hums beside you, finally paying attention. "I like that. But we can’t overcomplicate it. It still has to hit immediately, you know? If the production is too… pretty, it won’t land."

You glance at him, raising an eyebrow. "I wasn’t planning on making it ‘pretty.’"

His lips curve into a smirk. "You say that, but your demos always start out all delicate before you drown them in atmosphere."

You scoff, but before you can fire back, you remember something. You pull out your phone, scrolling through your files. "Actually, I have something. It’s just an idea, but…" You trail off as you connect to the speaker and press play.

The room fills with the soft hum of synths, a deep bassline kicking in a second later. The melody is restrained, almost hesitant, but there’s tension in it, a slow build that promises something bigger. Baekhyun leans back in his chair, nodding along, his fingers drumming lightly against his knee. Heeseung listens with his head tilted slightly, his brows furrowed in thought.

But it’s Beomgyu you’re watching.

His usual air of disinterest is gone. He’s listening—actually listening—his fingers absentmindedly tapping a rhythm against the table. His lips part slightly, his head tilts, and then, without saying a word, he grabs his notebook, flips to a blank page, and starts writing.

You should be annoyed. Maybe you are. But more than that, you’re intrigued. Because you recognize this version of him, the one who isn’t just all cocky smirks and sharp remarks, but the one who gets lost in the music the same way you do. The one who doesn’t just hear songs, he feels them.

And maybe it’s because you recognize it, or maybe it’s because you can already hear something forming in your own mind, but before you even realize it, you’re reaching for a pen.

The two of you don’t speak at first. You don’t need to. Beomgyu jots something down in a messy scrawl, then taps the edge of his notebook twice before turning it toward you.

Won't you give it to me? Our secret

You stare at it for a second, then shake your head. "Too direct," you murmur, crossing out a word with your pen. You rewrite it underneath—

Won't you let me in? Our secret

Beomgyu’s eyes flicker with something—approval, maybe, or just excitement—and he immediately scribbles something in return, adjusting the cadence of the next line to fit. Back and forth, line by line, the song starts to take shape. He throws out a melody, you refine it. You hum a transition, he finds a way to make it sharper.

At some point, you pull your chair closer without thinking, angling yourself toward him as you lean over his notebook. He shifts too, elbows resting on the table, so close now that you can feel the warmth of his arm next to yours. His knee bumps against yours, but neither of you moves away.

Your phone is still connected to the speaker, and every now and then, you pause to tweak the demo, adjusting a chord, adding a reverb effect, testing how the lyrics sit against the melody. The more you work, the more the energy builds.

It’s like a high. The thrill of chasing an idea, of catching it just before it slips away. Baekhyun exhales a quiet laugh, finally breaking the silence. "Well, damn," he mutters, amused.

You glance up, only now remembering that he and Heeseung are still in the room.Heeseung is watching the two of you with his arms crossed, one brow raised like he’s witnessing something he wasn’t expecting. "Is this how you two always work?"

Beomgyu leans back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head like he didn’t just spend the last twenty minutes hyper-focused beside you. "We've never worked together"

Baekhyun smirks. "That's a shame."

You open your mouth to argue, but then you stop. Because the truth is, you don’t actually know how to explain it. You and Beomgyu have spent so much time trying to one-up each other that you’ve never really thought about what it feels like when you work together.

And maybe you don’t want to think about it too much now, either.

Beomgyu is watching you, his expression unreadable, like he’s waiting to see what you’ll say. You hesitate for half a second, then roll your eyes, reaching over to shut your notebook.

And maybe it’s just the adrenaline from the session, or maybe it’s something else entirely, but as you gather your things, you can’t shake the feeling that this—whatever just happened between you and Beomgyu—is something you’re going to be chasing again.

The moment you step into the hallway, you exhale, feeling the lingering buzz of the brainstorming session still thrumming under your skin. Your mind is moving too fast, melodies and lyrics weaving together even as you try to shake them off.

Before you get too far, Heeseung catches up to you, matching your pace effortlessly. "That was impressive," he says, hands tucked into his pockets.

You glance at him, eyebrows raised. "What was?"

He smiles knowingly. "Don’t play dumb. The way you and Beomgyu just… locked in like that. You guys have a really strong creative dynamic."

You scoff. "Please. It was a one-time thing."

Heeseung just hums in amusement. "Sure," he says, voice dripping with skepticism. "But seriously, I really liked what you did with the demo. That shift in the pre-chorus? That was smart."

The unexpected praise makes your steps falter slightly. You work with a lot of talented people, but compliments from someone like Heeseung, who has an ear for every small detail, actually mean something. "Thanks," you mutter. "Still needs work, though."

Heeseung nods. "Yeah, but that’s what makes it exciting. You and Beomgyu had some really solid ideas in there. I can already tell this album is gonna be something special."

There’s something in his voice, genuine, excited. It’s the same kind of excitement you feel when a song starts coming together, when you can hear the final product before it even exists.

And maybe—just maybe—that feeling is stronger now because of how easily you and Beomgyu fell into rhythm together. Not that you’re going to admit that.

Before you can respond, you hear footsteps approaching. Beomgyu slows as he reaches the two of you, glancing between you and Heeseung with mild curiosity. "What’s this? A secret meeting?"

You roll your eyes. Heeseung chuckles, shaking his head. "Relax, man. I was just telling Y/N how good that session was. You guys really work well together."

Beomgyu gives you a look, something unreadable flickering in his dark eyes, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he tilts his head toward Heeseung. "You heading out?"

"Yeah," Heeseung nods. "But I’ll catch up with you guys later."

With that, he gives you one last easy smile before walking off, leaving you alone with Beomgyu. Big mistake. The second Heeseung disappears down the hall, Beomgyu turns to you with a lazy grin. "So," he drawls, "what did he say about me?"

You narrow your eyes. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," he says, shifting his weight against the wall. "Did he say I was a genius? A lyrical mastermind? The only reason this album is gonna be good?"

You glare. "Wow, and here I was thinking you couldn’t possibly get more unbearable."

Beomgyu just laughs, completely unfazed. "I’m serious, though. You should really start getting used to working with me. I mean, if this first session was any proof, we make a great team."

You cross your arms. "Yeah, alright"

Beomgyu tilts his head. "Anyway, I’m gonna be in my studio for a bit—working on some ideas. You know, since I’m so dedicated."

You raise an eyebrow. "And this concerns me how?"

His smirk is instant, sharp. "Because, genius, that demo we worked on still isn’t finished. And if I remember correctly, you’re kind of obsessed with making things perfect."

You exhale through your nose, already feeling the trap he’s setting. "I’ll work on it on my own."

"Sure, sure," he muses, rocking back on his heels. "Except… we both know it’s better when we do it together."

You roll your eyes. "I don’t ‘do things together’ with you, Beomgyu."

He grins, leaning in slightly. "You did today." Your fingers twitch at your sides. You hate that he’s right. You hate that, for a moment, working with him didn’t feel like a battle, it felt electric.

Beomgyu seems to know exactly what you’re thinking, because he shrugs, all casual confidence. "I mean, if you wanna waste time trying to fix it alone, be my guest. But you saw how fast we worked together. We could probably finish a whole verse in an hour—less, if you don’t get distracted staring at me."

You scoff. "Oh my god. You're unbelievable."

"You keep saying that, but you still haven’t said no."

You open your mouth to argue, but then, against all logic, you hesitate. Because he’s right. Again. For as much as you can’t stand him, the truth is undeniable: when you and Beomgyu get into that creative zone, things happen. He watches you carefully, amusement flickering in his dark eyes as you consider it. Finally, with a heavy sigh, you relent. "Fine. Maybe I’ll stop by later."

Beomgyu beams, clearly way too pleased with himself. "Knew you would."

"Don’t get cocky."

"Too late," he says, already turning to leave. But just as he starts walking away, he throws one last remark over his shoulder— "Can’t wait to see how long you last before you come running to my studio."

You swear under your breath, clenching your fists. That smug little—No. You’re not letting him get to you. You pull out your phone, ignoring the way your heartbeat is still uneven, and type out a quick text.

[you]: are you at the company?

Taehyun responds almost instantly.

[taehyun]: Just finished up. Why? [you]: meet me outside [taehyun]: …Are you about to fight someone? [you]: just fucking get there jesus

Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you reach for the crumpled pack of cigarettes in your jacket. It’s a bad habit—one you don’t let yourself fall into often—but it’s always been your go-to when you feel like you might actually explode.

You light up, inhaling deeply, letting the nicotine settle in your lungs as you lean against the wall. The city hums around you, cars passing, distant chatter from people walking by, but your head is still full of Beomgyu. His smirk, his voice, the way he gets under your skin so damn easily.

You take another slow drag. A few minutes later, footsteps approach, and then—

"You really need to quit that," Taehyun says, stepping up beside you.

You exhale, watching the smoke dissipate into the night air. "Yeah, yeah."

He looks at you for a moment, then sighs. "Beomgyu?"

You shoot him a glare. "I hate how predictable that was."

Taehyun just laughs, shaking his head as he leans against the wall next to you. "Alright. Tell me what happened."

And you do. Between slow drags of your cigarette and exasperated hand gestures, you let it all out. Beomgyu’s arrogance, his teasing, the way he makes you want to strangle him and throw yourself into another session with him at the same time. Taehyun listens, nodding along, his expression somewhere between amused and exasperated.

When you finally finish, he exhales, running a hand through his hair. "You know," he says, "for someone who ‘hates’ working with him, you sure as hell can’t stop talking about him."

You groan, dragging a hand down your face. "I swear to god, if you say one more thing—"

"Relax," he grins, bumping his shoulder against yours. "I’m just saying. If this keeps up, this album’s gonna be fun to watch."

"Fun," you mutter, taking one last drag of your cigarette before flicking it away. "Yeah, sure. If Beomgyu doesn’t kill me first."

Taehyun snorts. "I dunno. You’re the one smoking like you’ve just seen your life flash before your eyes." You shoot him a glare, but he just grins. Taehyun shifts beside you. "So, you’re going this weekend, right?"

You frown. "Going where?"

"The HYBE party," he says, like it should be obvious. "Producers, execs, big names—basically a ‘who’s who’ of the industry."

You make a face. "Oh. That thing."

"Yes, that thing," he deadpans. "Don’t tell me you weren’t invited."

"I was."

"And?"

"And I ignored it."

Taehyun groans. "Of course you did."

You roll your eyes. "Why would I waste my time going to that? It's just a bunch of industry people getting drunk and kissing each other’s asses."

"Yeah," he says, "and that’s exactly why you should be there."

You huff, leaning back against the wall. "Taehyun, I barely have time to eat, let alone go make small talk with people I don’t care about."

He gives you a pointed look. "If you want more people to care about you, you need to start showing up to these things."

You open your mouth to argue—but then his words hit you in a way you weren’t expecting. Because you’ve heard them before. Not from him. You’re good, but no one’s ever gonna notice if you never leave this cave.

Beomgyu’s voice, unshakable, rings through your head.

It was late—too late, really, for either of you to still be in the studio—but you had been working, tweaking a demo, lost in your own world. And then he had walked in, leaning against the doorframe with that lazy smirk, watching you like he had you all figured out.

At the time, you had rolled your eyes and told him to fuck off. Now, standing here, you hate that his words come back so easily.

Taehyun must notice the shift in your expression because he nudges your shoulder. "Hey. You okay?"

You blink, shaking the thought off. "Yeah. Fine."

"Uh-huh," he says, unconvinced. "So, you’re going?"

You sigh, kicking at the pavement. "I’ll think about it."

He smirks. "That means yes."

You groan, "I hate you."

"You hate a lot of people," Taehyun teases, already stepping away. "But I’ll see you at the party, yeah?"

You don’t answer. But the thought lingers, anyway.

The walk back inside feels heavier than before. Maybe it’s the cold finally settling into your skin, or maybe it’s the fact that Taehyun’s words—and Beomgyu’s, fucking Beomgyu’s—are still bouncing around in your head.

You push the thoughts away as you step into your studio, shutting the door behind you. This is what you need. Work. Something to focus on. Something that doesn’t smirk at you like it knows you better than you know yourself.

Sitting down in front of your computer, you slip your headphones on and pull up a track you’ve been building. The beat kicks in, a deep, pulsing rhythm, crisp percussion layered underneath. You tweak a synth, adjusting the filters until it hums just right. The bass needs more weight. You push it up, listening as the sound thickens, your fingers moving without thinking.

The door swings open. You pull your headphones off, already prepared to tell whoever just barged in to knock first, but the words die on your tongue when you see who it is. Soobin.

He pauses in the doorway, one hand still on the knob, blinking at you like he wasn’t expecting to see you here either. His eyes, soft, dark, perpetually kind, widen slightly before he lets out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh—shit. Sorry," he says. "I thought this room was empty."

You shake your head, waving a dismissive hand. "It’s fine. You’re not bothering me."

He hesitates for a second, shifting on his feet like he’s not sure if he should stay or leave. You take him in properly, his hoodie slightly oversized, the sleeves pushed up just enough to reveal his wrists, his hair slightly tousled like he’s been running his hands through it all day. Soobin has always had this way about him, gentle, easygoing, warm in a way that makes people feel safe without even trying.

Soobin steps further into the room, leaning against the doorframe with that easy, almost shy smile of his. "So," he starts, his voice warm and easy, "how’s the project going?"

You lean back in your chair, giving a small shrug, trying to look casual despite the knot in your stomach. "Yeah, it’s going… well. I’m happy with how the beat is shaping up. Just need to refine a few things."

Soobin smiles, his gaze drifting to the computer screen, clearly not just focused on the music. There’s a softness in his expression, like he knows when you’re holding back, but he doesn’t push. "Beomgyu said you two were going to be working together on the new album," he says casually, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, still lingering by the door.

The mention of Beomgyu makes you stiffen for a split second, but you force yourself to remain composed. You try to play it cool, even though the words "working together" feel like they’ve got a much sharper edge to them.

"Yeah," you say, keeping your voice neutral. "Baekhyun put us both on the project. Not really my first choice, but… it is what it is."

Soobin tilts his head slightly, his eyes narrowing just a touch. "Hmm."

You raise an eyebrow, sensing that there’s something more to his reaction than he’s letting on. "What? What’s up?"

Soobin shrugs, his smile returning, but it’s a little softer now, like there’s something he wants to say but he’s not sure if he should. "I’m just surprised. Beomgyu never really talks much about the people he works with, you know?"

Your heart skips a beat. "What do you mean?"

He looks at you thoughtfully for a moment, his eyes flicking to the screen again before meeting yours. "I mean… he mentioned you, actually. Said your work was 'solid.' Which, for him, is practically a compliment."

You blink. Beomgyu? Complimenting you? It takes a moment for the words to fully sink in. "Wait, seriously?"

Soobin chuckles, shrugging. "Yeah. Maybe he’s not as much of a jerk as you think." He pauses, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Or maybe he’s just trying to get under your skin."

You roll your eyes, though there’s a small smile playing at the corner of your lips despite yourself. "I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the second option."

Soobin seems to think about that for a moment, his expression thoughtful. "But hey, maybe working together will surprise you."

You shoot him a skeptical look, but there’s something in Soobin’s voice, something sincere, that makes you pause. "Maybe," you say, your tone softer. "I just don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of surprise."

Soobin chuckles, stepping back toward the door. "Well, if anyone can handle Beomgyu’s ego, it’s you."

You watch him leave, his figure disappearing behind the door with that usual, casual air he carries, but his words stay with you. If anyone can handle Beomgyu’s ego, it’s you.

You take a deep breath, leaning back in your chair, eyes fixed on the blinking cursor on your screen. The beat you’ve been working on earlier suddenly feels distant, like it’s just background noise to the thoughts swirling in your mind.

You didn’t expect Soobin to say that. In fact, you didn’t expect him to even mention Beomgyu.

Beomgyu's ego. The words replay in your head, and you can't help but feel that familiar bitterness rise in your chest. He was arrogant, always so sure of himself, as if he thought he could charm his way into every room he walked into—every meeting, every collaboration, every conversation. But that wasn't the worst part. No, the worst part was how effective it was. He was good at what he did. So good, it made you sick to admit it.

Your fingers hover over your keyboard, but you don't type anything. Instead, you let your mind wander back to the countless times you’d crossed paths with Beomgyu. From the first time you’d met him, there had always been this unspoken tension between you two. You could never quite pinpoint why, but it was always there, like a challenge, an unspoken game.

Beomgyu was never afraid to speak his mind. Never afraid to push you, challenge you, throw something in your face to see how you'd react. He wasn’t the type to back down, especially not in a field like this, where every day felt like a battle for the top spot.

And yet, in all the years you’d worked alongside him, you’d never been able to figure him out. You hated how unpredictable he was. How he’d come in with that cocky grin, take control of a room with nothing more than his presence, and leave you second-guessing everything about the project you’d just finished.

It wasn’t just his confidence that grated on you. It was the way it worked. How easy it was for him to charm clients, co-workers, everyone. You’d always been the opposite, quiet, focused, just a little too serious for the industry’s taste. But Beomgyu? He could weave his way through conversations, make jokes, make everyone like him.

You weren’t so good at that. You weren’t good at pretending things were okay when they weren’t, and you definitely weren’t good at ignoring the way Beomgyu’s presence made your heart race just a little too fast.

You pull your headphones back on, the sound of the track filling your ears, but it doesn’t help. You can’t stop thinking about him. About his stupid smile, the way he’d always act like he knew more than you, the way you’d find yourself questioning every decision you’d made just because he disagreed with it.

You stare at the screen, tapping your fingers absentmindedly on the desk. The ping of a new message from the company chat pulls you out of your thoughts. You glance at the screen, already knowing who it is before you even look. Beomgyu.

You almost groan, but instead, you open the chat without thinking too much about it. His message is short—typical Beomgyu. And, of course, he has to type in all lowercase letters, just like you do.

[beomgyu]: you coming to work with me today or nah?

You lean back in your chair, staring at the message for a second. He always had to throw in that annoying casual tone, like you were just some kind of colleague he could poke fun at. Not that you were going to let him get to you.

[you]: maybe

The typing bubble shows up immediately, and you can already tell he’s typing a response. Of course, he wouldn’t leave you hanging.

[beomgyu]: alright, i’m coming over. don’t run away this time.

You lean back in your chair, exhaling deeply. As much as you’d like to ignore him, you know that when Beomgyu’s around, the work somehow gets done. Annoying as he is, he’s good.

A few minutes later, you hear the soft sound of the door to your studio creaking open. You don’t even look up from your computer at first, but you can feel his presence in the room. It’s hard to miss, he’s got this way of filling up space with his confidence, as if he belongs in every room he enters. "That was fast," you say, still clicking through your files.

"I was already on my way," Beomgyu replies smoothly. His voice is light, teasing, but you can hear the subtle scratch of his hoodie against his skin as he moves, stepping closer.

Only then do you finally glance up. He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, head tilted slightly as he watches you like he’s already won something. "Thought you’d be hiding from me again," he muses.

You huff a quiet laugh, rolling your eyes. "I wasn’t hiding. Just… working. Something you should try sometime."

Beomgyu pushes off the frame, walking toward you with that effortless, too-cool confidence that somehow never looks forced. He doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he nods toward your screen. "What have you been working on, then?"

You hesitate for a beat. It’s not like you don’t want to show him, it’s just that you know how this goes. He’ll have something to say, and you’re not sure if you’re in the mood to let him have an opinion today. Still, your fingers move on their own, pulling up the track. "A beat," you say, pressing play. "Something I was messing with earlier."

The studio fills with the low pulse of a kick drum, steady and clean. A deep bassline follows, smooth but weighty, the kind that makes your chest vibrate. You keep your eyes on the screen, tweaking the volume slightly, but you can feel Beomgyu’s gaze shift. He’s listening. Really listening.

When the beat fades out, you finally glance at him. His usual smirk is gone, replaced by something unreadable. He stays quiet for a moment, and just when you think he might actually be serious for once, he speaks.

"It’s… not bad," he says, dragging out the words just to be annoying.

You scoff. "Not bad?"

He shrugs, fighting a grin. "I mean, I expected worse. But yeah. It’s solid." You stare at him for a second before shaking your head. Beomgyu finally laughs, a soft, genuine sound, before nudging your chair lightly with his knee. "Come on. Let’s make it better."

You side-eye him. "Since when are you this eager to work?"

He gives you a slow smirk. "Since I found out I have to prove I’m better than you."

You scoff but don’t argue. Instead, you press play again, letting the track fill the studio once more. The beat hums through the speakers, crisp and layered, but something still feels… incomplete. It’s a skeleton, a strong foundation, but it needs something to make it breathe.

Beomgyu’s fingers drum lightly against the desk, following the rhythm. "The bass is solid, but it needs more texture," he muses, his voice slipping into something more thoughtful. "Maybe a reverb on the snare? Just enough to make it feel bigger."

You hum, considering. "That could work." Your hands move quickly, adjusting a few settings, adding the effect he suggested. When you play it back, the subtle change makes a difference. The beat hits deeper, lingers in the air.

Beomgyu tilts his head, listening. "Yeah… that’s better," he mutters, almost to himself. Then he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Alright, now lyrics. What’s the vibe?"

You purse your lips, thinking. "Baekhyun wanted something sexy but with emotional weight. Not just a throwaway club song—something that actually sticks with people."

Beomgyu hums, tilting his head. "So, like… temptation?" You glance at him, curious. He gestures vaguely with his hands. "Something that feels like you shouldn’t be doing it, but you want to anyway. You know, that whole ‘I’m trying to stay away, but I keep coming back’ thing."

You hesitate, but that actually makes sense. Your fingers hover over the keyboard as you type a few rough phrases, trying to capture that idea. "Something like…" you murmur to yourself, voice trailing off as you think.

Beomgyu shifts closer, his shoulder almost brushing yours as he watches your screen. "Try flipping it," he suggests. "Instead of ‘I can’t stay away,’ what if it’s more like ‘I know you don’t want me to stay away’?"

Your fingers pause. You glance at him. His eyes flicker with something unreadable, like he knows exactly what he just did. You scoff lightly, shaking your head. "You would think of it that way."

Beomgyu grins. "What can I say? I like a little push and pull."

Rolling your eyes, you type out the line anyway. And to your annoyance, it works.

From there, the writing flows easier. He throws out ideas, some ridiculous, some brilliant. You counter them, sharpen them, adjust the phrasing. He tests melodies under his breath while you tweak the instrumental to match. The push-and-pull dynamic you usually hate about him actually fuels the process, and before you know it, the bones of the song are coming together.

At some point, Beomgyu gets up and paces the room as he mumbles lyrics under his breath, testing cadences. You watch as he stops, rewinds, repeats lines to himself like he’s working out a puzzle. It’s the most serious you’ve seen him look all day.

And, annoyingly, you find yourself thinking, not for the first time, that Beomgyu is actually really good at this. You shake the thought away. No need to inflate his already massive ego.

Eventually, you both get so lost in the work that time stops mattering.

As Beomgyu stretches, his arms extending above his head, the hem of his hoodie lifts just slightly, revealing a sliver of skin. He lets out a low groan as his back pops, shaking off the hours spent hunched over the desk. You barely register it, too lost in the sound of the track looping softly in the background, but then you catch the way he suddenly stills.

His gaze flickers to the clock on the wall, and his expression shifts. "Holy shit," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "It’s past midnight."

The words barely register at first. Your brain is still swimming in melodies, unfinished lyrics, and the lingering energy of collaboration. But then the weight of time settles in, and you finally blink, pulling yourself back into reality.

You sit up straighter, stretching out your fingers before glancing at the studio door. The hallway beyond is silent. The once-busy building has gone eerily still, the distant hum of conversations and footsteps long gone.

"Shit," you murmur, running a hand through your hair. "Didn’t even notice."

It’s not surprising. This happens sometimes, getting so lost in the process that hours slip by unnoticed. But something about tonight feels different. Maybe it’s the fact that you didn’t just work alone. That, for once, Beomgyu wasn’t just a distraction or an annoyance, but someone who helped.

Beomgyu, meanwhile, is watching you with something unreadable in his eyes. Then, as if snapping back into his usual self, he lets out a small breath and leans against the edge of the desk. His smirk creeps in, lazy and familiar.

"Wanna grab a beer?"

The words are so casual, so effortless, that it takes you a second to process them. You snort, already shaking your head before he can even try to convince you. "Not even if you paid me."

Beomgyu clicks his tongue, feigning deep disappointment, like you just shattered his fragile dreams. "Tsk. Alright, alright. I get it. You’re all work, no fun."

You roll your eyes, but before you can fire back, he leans in slightly. Not close enough to invade your space, but just enough that his voice drops a fraction, almost like he’s sharing a secret.

"I’ve got until the album drops to change your mind."

There’s something about the way he says it. Not teasing, not pushy, just confident, like it’s already a done deal. Like he knows you’ll give in eventually.

You scoff, but the corner of your mouth betrays you, just the tiniest flicker of a smile before you school your expression back into indifference. "Good luck with that," you mutter, standing up and stretching your arms.

Beomgyu watches you for a beat longer before pushing off the desk, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. He doesn’t say anything else, just hums in amusement as he heads for the door, his posture loose and easy.

And somehow, you already know. He won’t drop it.

The dream was still vivid when you woke up. The melody, the lyrics, everything had felt so real, like the song had already existed somewhere in your mind, just waiting to be found.

You barely remembered throwing on your clothes and rushing out the door, but now you were here, practically jogging through the HYBE hallways, desperate to get the words down before they slipped away.

Your mind was a mess of half-formed ideas and lingering dream logic, but the one thing you knew for certain was that this had to be written today. The only problem? Beomgyu was nowhere to be found.

You’d expected to see him the second you walked into the studio, already lounging in his usual spot, feet up on the desk like he owned the place. But the room was empty. No bags, no coffee cups, no signs of life.

You frowned, pulling out your phone on instinct, but there were no messages. No snarky texts from him, no last-minute updates about being late. Nothing. You tried not to dwell on the fact that it unsettled you. That you were even looking for him in the first place.

Instead, you headed back into the hallway, hoping to run into someone who knew something. That someone turned out to be Taehyun, who was standing near the vending machines, scrolling on his phone. "Hey," you called, walking up to him. "Have you seen Beomgyu?"

Taehyun barely looked up, but the slight smirk on his face told you he’d heard you just fine. "You’re looking for him?"

You folded your arms. "I just need to talk to him about the album."

He hummed, finally glancing up from his phone. "Sure. About the album."

You sighed. "Taehyun—"

"I haven't seen him," he cut in, clearly enjoying this way too much. "And even if I had, I don’t think I’d tell you. This is way too entertaining."

You rolled your eyes. "Unbelievable."

"You could just text him, you know," Taehyun pointed out.

"I could," you admitted, "but I shouldn’t have to."

Taehyun just shrugged, biting back a grin. "Well, if you’re that desperate, good luck."

You groaned, turning on your heel and heading down the hall. Desperate. Right. Beomgyu wasn’t the only person you could talk to about music.

So, instead of wasting time looking for him, you made your way to a different part of the building, where you knew you’d find people who actually showed up to work. Enhypen's break room was surprisingly lively when you walked in.

Heeseung was sitting at the center table, scrolling through his laptop, while Jake and Jungwon were arguing about something (probably a game) on the couch nearby. Sunghoon and Sunoo were by the fridge, debating which energy drink was less likely to kill them, while Jay and Niki were huddled over Jay’s phone, watching a video of some kind.

The moment you stepped inside, seven pairs of eyes turned toward you. "Whoa," Jake said, blinking. "You actually left your studio?"

"She exists outside of work?" Sunoo added, looking genuinely fascinated.

"Crazy, right?" Jay smirked. "I thought she was just a myth."

You sighed, dropping into the chair across from Heeseung. "Hilarious. All of you."

Heeseung closed his laptop, leaning forward with an amused grin. "So, what brings you here?"

The others perked up, too, the room’s energy shifting as they all turned their attention to you. You hesitated for only a second before reaching for your phone, pulling up the rough voice memo you’d recorded half-asleep that morning.

"I had this dream last night," you explained. "It was kind of abstract, but there was this melody, and I woke up with the start of a lyric in my head. It’s not much yet, but—"

"Play it," Jungwon interrupted.

You did. The room fell silent as the low, dreamy hum of your voice filled the space. It was raw, just a melody over soft chords, the words barely formed, but you could already hear the potential in it.

When it ended, there was a beat of silence. "That’s sick," Niki said immediately.

"It sounds kind of nostalgic," Jake added. "Like something that pulls you back to a specific memory, even if you don’t know what memory it is."

Heeseung nodded, thoughtful. "The vocal layering could be really cool if you lean into that hazy, dreamlike feel."

You took mental notes as they spoke, their excitement feeding into your own. Collaborating like this, bouncing ideas off of people who genuinely loved music as much as you did, was one of your favorite things. For the first time that morning, you forgot about Beomgyu entirely. Almost.

Because as the conversation started winding down, you found yourself asking, "By the way… has anyone seen Beomgyu today?"

Heeseung raised an eyebrow. "He’s never here on Thursdays."

That made you pause. "What do you mean?"

"I don’t know the details," he admitted, "but every Thursday, he just… doesn’t show up. It’s like his unofficial off day or something."

You frowned. "And no one questions that?"

Jay shrugged. "He’s Beomgyu. He gets away with a lot."

That was true, but it still felt odd. Beomgyu was everywhere, all the time. It was part of his personality, the way he always had to make himself known, make his presence felt. So, why did he suddenly disappear once a week? And more importantly… Why did you care?

The glow of the computer screen was the only thing illuminating the studio now. You leaned back in your chair, rubbing at your eyes as the melody you’d been playing on loop for the past twenty minutes continued to hum faintly through the speakers.

The demo was coming together, slowly but surely. You had the skeleton of the track—the instrumental was rich, the atmosphere was there, but the lyrics still felt incomplete. No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t quite find the missing piece.

You sighed, stretching your arms above your head before rolling your chair back slightly. The worst part? You knew exactly what was missing.

Beomgyu. You hated that realization.

As much as you wanted to deny it, things just worked when he was around. Ideas flowed easier, the process felt smoother—hell, even when you were annoyed at him, it still fueled the energy in the room. The back-and-forth, the push and pull, it all somehow led to better music.

And today, without him, it felt like dragging a boulder up a hill. You shook your head, refusing to dwell on it. It wasn’t like you needed him. You’d been making music for years before he ever stepped into your life.

Still, as you saved the latest version of the demo and shut your laptop, you couldn't shake the irritation bubbling in your chest. What the hell does he even do on Thursdays?

Pushing the thought away, you grabbed your jacket and slung your bag over your shoulder. You’d been here too long already, and at this point, you weren’t getting anything else done tonight. Just as you stepped out into the hallway, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

[yunjin]: we’re at hyehwa. bring your tired workaholic ass over here [yunjin]: before you ask, yes, yeonjun is here. yes, taehyun is here. and yes, hueningkai is here. no excuses

You exhaled through your nose, the corners of your lips twitching upward despite your exhaustion. Of course they were at Hyehwa, the bar that had somehow become your unofficial meeting spot over the years.

For a moment, you debated going straight home. But then you thought about how much time you’d already spent alone in the studio tonight, trapped in your own head. Maybe you needed a break after all.

The second you stepped inside, the familiar warmth of the bar wrapped around you like a worn-out leather jacket. The dim lighting, the low hum of conversation, the clinking of glasses, it was the kind of place that always felt easy, no matter how long the day had been.

And, as expected, your friends were easy to find. Yeonjun was the first one you spotted, lounging in the booth like he had no bones in his body, one arm draped over the back of the seat. Taehyun was sitting next to him, scrolling through his phone, while Hueningkai was across from them, laughing at something Yunjin was saying. There were already a few empty beer bottles on the table, condensation still dripping from them.

You rolled your eyes as you walked over. "You guys started without me."

Hueningkai beamed. "Of course we did. You’re late."

You slid into the seat next to Yunjin, ignoring the way they were all looking at you like you were some rare specimen that had just wandered into the wild. "Yeah, yeah," you muttered, flagging down the bartender for a drink. "I was working."

"We know," Taehyun said, side-eyeing you. "You’ve been working non-stop."

Yunjin leaned in, resting her chin on her hand. "So? How’s the album going?"

You hesitated, drumming your fingers lightly against the table. "It’s… coming together."

Yeonjun squinted at you. "That doesn’t sound convincing."

You sighed. "It’s fine. Just a long day."

Taehyun raised an eyebrow. "A long day or a long day without Beomgyu?"

You froze mid-sip, the beer bottle barely touching your lips before you slowly lowered it back down to the table. "I’m not talking about him right now," you said flatly, setting the bottle down with a quiet clink against the wood. "I’m here to have a drink with my friends, not to analyze my work situation."

Taehyun smirked like he knew exactly what you were doing. Yeonjun raised his hands in surrender, but the knowing look in his eyes was still irritating. Hueningkai, ever the agent of chaos, just grinned.

"Alright, alright," Yunjin said, leaning back. "No Beomgyu talk. But, speaking of things you do need to talk about—" She fixed you with a pointed look. "You’re coming to the HYBE party, right?"

"I'm thinking about it," you corrected, crossing your arms. "I have work to do. I don’t have time to stand around making awkward small talk with industry people who don’t even know my name."

Yunjin groaned, dramatically letting her head fall against the table before snapping back up with renewed determination. "Listen. You spend every waking moment working on this album. You need to breathe. Plus, I’m going."

"And?"

"And that means you have no excuse not to."

You snorted. "That logic is flawed."

"It’s actually foolproof," she argued. "And you know who else is going? Taehyun."

You hesitated, glancing at Taehyun, who only gave you a small shrug like it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe it wasn’t. And maybe… just maybe… you were a little tired of feeling like a ghost in this industry.

"…Fine," you muttered.

Yunjin’s face lit up. "Yes!"

"I’m going with you and Taehyun," you clarified. "And if it sucks, I’m leaving early."

"Deal," she grinned, clinking her beer against yours.

As the conversation moved on, you took another sip of your drink, pushing away the nagging thought that had been lingering at the back of your mind. Because you knew exactly who was going to be at that party. And whether you admitted it or not, part of you was already wondering if you'd run into him.

When you woke up, sunlight was already spilling through the curtains, the golden hue casting soft shadows across your room. For a few blissful moments, you lay there, staring at the ceiling, letting yourself exist in the quiet. But the minute your mind fully registered what day it was, that peace shattered. The HYBE party.

You groaned, rubbing a hand over your face. Part of you still wanted to back out. It wasn’t like anyone would really care if you didn’t show up. You weren’t the kind of person people noticed at these events. And yet… you’d already agreed to go.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you padded into the kitchen, still in your oversized sleep shirt, your hair a mess from sleep. To your surprise, Yeonjun was already up, standing by the coffee machine, scrolling through his phone. "You’re awake early," you mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

He glanced up, smiling lazily. "And you look like you got hit by a truck."

You scowled, reaching for a mug. "Thanks."

Yeonjun chuckled and, before you could react, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "You looked like you needed it," he murmured against your hair.

For a second, you stiffened, but then you exhaled, letting yourself melt into him, pressing your face against his chest. He was warm, solid, and familiar. The kind of comfort that didn’t need words. "…I don’t know why I feel weird about tonight," you admitted quietly.

Yeonjun didn’t let go, just rubbed small, soothing circles against your back. "You don’t have to go if you don’t want to."

You sighed. "I know. But… maybe I should go. Maybe I need to stop avoiding these things."

He hummed in agreement, waiting a beat before asking, "Beomgyu’s gonna be there, huh?"

You groaned into his shirt. "Why are you like this?"

He laughed, finally pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. "Because I know you. And I know that’s part of what’s making you overthink this."

You didn’t deny it. Because as much as you hated to admit it, a small part of you was wondering—if you went, would you run into him? And if you did… then what?

The day dragged on slower than usual, each hour stretching endlessly as you fought to keep your mind occupied. You had promised Yunjin you’d go to her apartment to get ready together. As much as you had hoped the day would pass without the need to confront your nerves, the time had come. The tension in your chest flared up again, and for a split second, you wished you could back out. But you couldn’t.

When you arrived at her apartment, Yunjin was perched at her vanity, still in a robe, mascara wand frozen mid-air as she turned to look at you. "Took you long enough," she teased, a grin pulling at her lips.

On the bed, Taehyun was sprawled out, scrolling through his phone with that signature, mildly unimpressed expression he always wore. "I’ve been trapped here for thirty minutes," he deadpanned. "Save me."

You snorted, already feeling more at ease. This was exactly what you needed, the mindless chatter, the shared chaos of getting ready, and the reminder that not everything in your life had to revolve around late-night studio sessions and a certain annoying producer who lived rent-free in your head.

By the time you were all dressed and out the door, the city lights stretched out in front of you, buzzing with life. The party was already in full swing when you arrived, the familiar pulse of bass-heavy music vibrating through the ground, bodies moving under dim lights, and the haze of cigarette smoke lingering in the air.

Yunjin led the way, slipping effortlessly into the crowd. Taehyun trailed behind with his usual nonchalant vibe, and you… well, you were busy doing exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn’t do: scanning the room for him.

And then, you saw him.

Beomgyu stood near the corner of the room, deep in conversation with Soobin. It was the kind of effortless, laid-back energy that somehow made him stand out in a room full of people trying too hard.

He wasn’t drowning in one of those oversized hoodies he always wore in the studio. No, tonight was different. He had on a simple black button-up, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing just enough of his wrists to make you irrationally annoyed. The fabric clung to him in all the right places, and paired with black jeans and silver rings on his fingers, he looked…

You blinked, irritated at yourself. No. Absolutely not.

But your eyes betrayed you, tracing the way he casually ran a hand through his hair as he laughed at something Soobin said. He looked relaxed, like he belonged in this kind of environment, like he wasn’t the same Beomgyu who spent hours annoying the life out of you in the studio. And worse, he looked… good. But you would literally rather die than admit that out loud.

What you didn’t know was that, from across the room, Beomgyu was watching you just as intently.

He leaned against the wall, drink in hand, nodding absentmindedly as Soobin spoke, but his attention kept slipping, drawn back to the way you moved through the crowd. The way your eyes flickered around the room, pretending not to be looking for him. The way you laughed at something Yunjin said, even though you were clearly trying to hide how uncomfortable you felt being here.

It was unfair, really. How easily you occupied space in his head without even trying.

"Are you even listening to me?" Soobin’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Beomgyu blinked, tearing his gaze away from you. "Huh?"

Soobin sighed, already used to this. "I said, how’s the album coming along? Baekhyun’s been hyping your demos, but you’ve been suspiciously quiet about working with Y/N."

Beomgyu scoffed, taking a sip of his drink. "It’s… fine."

Soobin raised an eyebrow. "Fine?"

Beomgyu hesitated, rolling the glass between his fingers. "She’s annoying," he muttered. "Thinks she knows everything. Always overcomplicates the production and acts like she’s too good to work with me."

Soobin let out a quiet laugh. "Right. And that’s why you’ve been writing the best shit of your career since you two started working together."

Beomgyu shot him a look. "Shut up."

"You like working with her," Soobin said, deadpan.

"I do not," Beomgyu snapped, a little too quickly.

Soobin’s grin only widened. "No? Then why do you keep staring at her like that?"

Beomgyu’s jaw clenched, eyes flickering back to where you stood with Yunjin and Taehyun. You looked good tonight. Too good. And it was pissing him off. Because ever since that stupid studio session where you accidentally made magic together, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you.

The way your mind worked. The way your fingers moved across the keyboard, tweaking melodies until they hit just right. The way you bit your lip when you were focused, completely lost in the sound.

You made him crazy. And maybe that’s exactly why the album was turning out the way it was, raw, sharp, full of tension. It wasn’t just music. It was you. Beomgyu sighed, running a hand through his hair. "She drives me insane."

Soobin smirked. "And here you are saying that you don't like working with her."

Beomgyu glared at him. "I swear to god, Soobin—"

"Come on," Soobin grinned. "You’re just not ready to admit that this whole ‘hating each other’ thing is actually… kind of your thing."

Beomgyu didn’t respond. Because deep down, he knew Soobin was right. And that terrified him.

You weren’t exactly expecting Baekhyun to pull you aside at this party, but here you were, following him through the crowded room as he weaved between people with practiced ease. "Y/N," he started, glancing back at you with a smirk, "I’ve been meaning to introduce you to someone."

You barely had time to ask who before you found yourself face to face with Choi Seungcheol, one of HYBE’s creative directors. He was taller than you expected, dressed in a sleek black suit that somehow made him look more approachable than intimidating.

"Y/N’s producing the new Enhypen album," Baekhyun introduced casually.

Seungcheol’s eyes lit up with recognition as he extended his hand toward you. "Ah, I’ve heard about you. Your demos are impressive."

You shook his hand, hiding the way your stomach flipped at the compliment. "Thank you. I’m… still figuring things out."

"You and everyone else in this company," Seungcheol chuckled. His tone was light, polite, the kind of effortless charm that only someone who’s been in the industry for years could pull off.

The conversation flowed easily from there. Seungcheol asked about your creative process, subtly throwing in references to producers you admired, showing he actually understood what you did. It felt… good. Like for once, someone saw you as more than just “the girl working with Beomgyu.”

Which was exactly when Beomgyu appeared. You didn’t notice him at first, too caught up in whatever Seungcheol was saying, but you felt it. That weird shift in the air when someone’s eyes are on you.

Beomgyu stood just a few feet away. You forced yourself to ignore him, focusing back on Seungcheol, who was mid-sentence about the new creative direction HYBE was taking. But from the corner of your eye, you saw Beomgyu lingering, not quite joining the conversation, but not leaving either.

It was annoying. Typical, actually. You knew exactly what he was doing, standing there, listening, watching. Almost as if he was waiting for the right moment to insert himself. And, of course, he did.

"Y/N," Beomgyu’s voice cut in smoothly, "Baekhyun’s been looking for you."

Your eyes narrowed as you turned to face him. "Funny. I’ve been with Baekhyun for the past ten minutes."

Beomgyu’s lips twitched, but his gaze flickered, just for a second, toward Seungcheol. "Guess he forgot to mention it." There it was. That subtle edge in his voice. Not enough for anyone else to catch, but you knew him too well by now.

Seungcheol seemed unfazed, stepping back slightly as if sensing whatever weird energy was happening between you two. "I’ll let you handle that," he said, offering you a polite smile. "It was great meeting you, Y/N. I’ll keep an eye out for your work."

"Likewise," you replied, hoping your voice didn’t sound as awkward as you felt. Seungcheol disappeared into the crowd, leaving you and Beomgyu standing there in uncomfortable silence. You turned to him, arms crossed. "Really? What was that?"

"What was what?" Beomgyu replied, all fake innocence.

"You’re ridiculous," you muttered, already moving past him.

But before you could disappear into the crowd, you heard him mumble under his breath, just loud enough for you to catch:

"I bet he doesn’t even know what a compressor does."

You stopped dead in your tracks, spinning around to face him. "Oh my god, you’re actually jealous."

Beomgyu blinked. "What? No."

"You totally are."

"I just think," he said, with that infuriating smirk, "that some people like to talk more than they actually create."

You stared at him, half in disbelief, half wanting to strangle him. "Unbelievable," you muttered, turning away again.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you," you shot back over your shoulder.

But as you pushed through the crowd, your heart was pounding for reasons that had nothing to do with the music. And somewhere behind you, Beomgyu stood there, running a hand through his hair, wondering what the hell you’d done to him.

The night pressed on, and you let yourself slip into the chaos of the party.

Yunjin dragged you to the dance floor, her hand wrapped around yours as the bass vibrated through your chest. Taehyun hovered nearby, doing his signature head-bop move with a drink in hand, pretending he was too cool to enjoy himself when, in reality, he was having the time of his life.

You allowed yourself to let go for a bit, letting the music drown out the noise in your head, the pressure of the album, and, most importantly, the fact that Beomgyu was somewhere in this room, probably still brooding after whatever weird stunt he pulled earlier.

But even as you danced, laughed with Yunjin, and stole sips from Taehyun’s drink, you felt it. That annoying awareness of him.

You caught glimpses of him through the crowd, leaning against a wall, talking to Soobin, occasionally scanning the room. And somehow, every time your eyes accidentally met, he’d hold your gaze for just a second too long before looking away, leaving something heavy and unspoken lingering in the air. It was messing with your head.

You slipped out to the smoking area, grateful for the cool night air against your skin. There were a few other people scattered around, some making out against the wall, others huddled in quiet conversations, but you found a spot in the corner, leaning against the railing as you lit a cigarette.

It was a bad habit, one you only fell back into when you were stressed. But tonight, it felt… necessary.

The first inhale burned your lungs in that oddly comforting way, and you let your head fall back, eyes closing for a moment as you exhaled. You barely heard the door creak open behind you, but the familiar voice made you tense instantly.

"Wow. Didn’t peg you as a smoker."

You opened your eyes, already irritated. "Of course, it’s you."

Beomgyu stood a few feet away, hands shoved in his pockets, watching you with that same infuriating expression he always wore, somewhere between amused and way too pleased with himself. He huffed a quiet laugh, stepping closer until he was leaning against the railing beside you.

"I’m not stalking you," he muttered, eyes flickering to your cigarette. "I just needed air."

"Right," you replied, taking another drag. The silence between you stretched for a moment, surprisingly comfortable. The muffled music from inside bled through the walls, mixed with the distant sounds of traffic from the streets below.

"I didn’t know you smoked," Beomgyu said quietly.

"I don’t," you replied. "Only when I’m overthinking."

He glanced at you. "What are you overthinking about?"

You hesitated, unsure why you were even entertaining this conversation. "The album," you finally said. "And… other things."

Beomgyu hummed, eyes fixed ahead. "Same."

That surprised you. For some reason, you always assumed Beomgyu was immune to self-doubt, that everything came easy to him. But now, standing here under the dim light, he looked tired. Almost like he was carrying the same weight you were.

He grinned, and for a moment, the tension between you softened into something else. Something unfamiliar. You took another drag of your cigarette before handing it to him without a word.

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You’re sharing with the enemy now?"

"Take it or leave it," you muttered.

He hesitated for half a second before accepting it, bringing it to his lips and inhaling slowly. You hated how attractive that looked. And of course, Beomgyu caught you staring.

"Careful," he said, handing it back to you with a smirk. "If you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna start thinking you actually like me."

"God, I regret this already," you groaned, turning away.

But Beomgyu just chuckled, leaning closer until his shoulder brushed against yours. "Too late," he murmured. "You let me in."

You took the cigarette back from Beomgyu, bringing it to your lips again as the cold air pressed against your skin. For a moment, neither of you said anything. The music from inside thumped faintly in the background, but out here, it felt like you were in a completely different world, one that was quieter, slower.

"So," Beomgyu started, breaking the silence, "have you thought more about track five?"

You nearly choked on the smoke. "Are you seriously talking about the album right now?" You turned to him, disbelief written all over your face. "We're at a party."

Beomgyu shrugged. "What, you think I know how to do small talk?" You huffed, half amused, half annoyed. "You were literally talking about work with Seungcheol earlier," he quipped, stealing it from your hand again.

You let him, watching as he took another slow drag before handing it back. You groaned, already regretting letting him stay out here. "Oh my God. Don’t."

"I’m just saying," Beomgyu muttered, gaze fixed on the ground. "He was totally flirting with you."

You rolled your eyes. "He was being polite."

"He called you talented and touched your arm twice," Beomgyu deadpanned. "That's textbook flirting."

You let out a sharp laugh. "Why do you even care?"

Beomgyu hesitated. "I don’t care," he said, a beat too late.

You narrowed your eyes at him. "Sure." Your breath hitched slightly, but you masked it by taking another drag of the cigarette. Beomgyu shifted beside you, leaning his weight against the railing. "You know," you started, voice low, "for someone who allegedly doesn't care, you spend an awful lot of time ruining my conversations."

Beomgyu let out a soft scoff, eyes fixed somewhere ahead. "You looked bored."

"I wasn’t bored."

"You were faking interest," he replied without hesitation. "You do that thing where you tilt your head slightly and nod, but your eyes are already somewhere else."

You blinked, caught off guard. "Didn’t know you analyzed me that much," you muttered.

"I don’t," Beomgyu replied too quickly.

You just hummed in response, taking another slow drag. The distant hum of the party buzzed faintly behind you, but out here, it felt like you’d slipped into some strange, quieter version of reality.

Your eyes flickered to him again, noticing the subtle tension in his posture, the way his fingers tapped against his rings, the same nervous habit you’d seen in the studio when he thought no one was looking.

You hesitated before speaking again. "Why don’t you work on Thursdays?"

Beomgyu stilled. You almost regretted asking, but he didn’t look at you, didn’t deflect like you expected him to. Instead, he let out a slow breath through his nose.

"I visit my mom," he said quietly.

Your breath caught in your throat. "What do you mean?"

"She’s been sick for a while," he added, almost like he was saying it more to himself than to you. "Autoimmune thing. Thursdays are… her day."

Your grip on the cigarette faltered slightly. You hadn’t expected honesty. You turned to him, but his gaze remained fixed ahead, like saying it out loud would make it heavier. "I didn’t know," you said softly.

"Yeah," he replied, almost like he was amused by your reaction. "Why would you?"

You wanted to say something, but words felt too fragile for whatever this was. So you didn’t. You just stood there, feeling that strange shift in the air, the one where he felt less like your annoying rival and more like… You weren’t sure what.

Beomgyu glanced at you then, catching the way you were looking at him. "What?" he asked, almost defensive.

"Nothing," you replied, turning away.

But it wasn’t nothing. It was everything you’d never noticed about him until now. You pressed the cigarette against the railing, watching the ember die out. The air outside felt heavier than usual, but maybe that was just the way Beomgyu’s presence filled every empty space.

"I should head back," you muttered, more to yourself than to him.

Beomgyu didn’t look at you. He stayed leaning against the railing, gaze fixed on some distant point in the city, jaw tight like he was holding something back.

"Do yourself a favor," he said suddenly, voice low. "Be careful with who you let think they know you."

You frowned, turning to him. "What?"

Beomgyu exhaled slowly, like he already regretted speaking. "These people," he gestured vaguely toward the noise inside. "They’ll act like they want you around. Like they see potential in you. But they don’t actually care. They just want something to say they discovered first."

You blinked, caught off guard. "You think that’s what Seungcheol was doing?"

Beomgyu scoffed, eyes flickering to yours. "I think you’re too naive to notice when people are looking at you for the wrong reasons."

You stared at him, searching for whatever this was, this strange tension that always seemed to surface when the two of you were left alone. But before you could step inside, Beomgyu spoke again.

"I’m serious, Y/N." His voice softened slightly. "You're new to this. You think people in this industry want you to win, but they don't. They want you to be grateful. They want you to be quiet. And the second you stop being useful to them, they’ll move on."

You hesitated, hand hovering over the door handle. "And you?" you asked quietly. "What do you want from me, Beomgyu?"

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. Then, barely above a whisper:

"Nothing."

You turned back, but he was already looking away, like he hadn’t just said something that would stay stuck in your head for weeks. You lingered for half a second before slipping back inside, the noise of the party swallowing you whole.

But somehow, you could still feel him. And that scared you more than anything.

The party felt louder when you stepped back inside, but maybe that was just the ringing in your ears from whatever the hell that conversation with Beomgyu was. You pushed through the crowd, head spinning, eyes searching for familiar faces. Yunjin and Taehyun were by the bar, Yunjin holding a half-finished drink and Taehyun looking like he was ready to disappear from this place an hour ago.

"I’m heading out," you told them.

Yunjin pouted. "Already?"

"I’m… tired." You offered her a weak smile, not really in the mood to explain why your chest felt weird or why Beomgyu’s words kept looping in your head.

Taehyun raised a brow but didn’t question it. "Get home safe."

You nodded, squeezing Yunjin’s arm lightly before slipping away. As you stepped outside, the night air hit you harder than you expected. You pulled out your phone and hesitated for a moment before typing:

[you]: where r u?

It didn’t take Yeonjun long to reply.

[yeonjun]: me and kai just found a sketchy fried chicken place that’s probably violating health codes. u want in?

You smiled.

[you]: can u come pick me up? [yeonjun]: omw.

You waited by the curb, the distant hum of the city filling the silence Beomgyu had left in your head.

When Yeonjun’s car pulled up a few minutes later, you moved toward it, already feeling the tension ease at the thought of greasy food and whatever chaos he and Kai were on tonight. But as you reached for the door handle, your eyes flickered to the side.

There, a few feet away, Beomgyu stood near the entrance, Soobin beside him, waiting for their own ride. You weren’t sure if he saw you first or if he was already looking, but when your eyes met, something heavy passed between you.

His gaze shifted to Yeonjun in the driver’s seat. Then back to you. You stepped into the car, shutting the door behind you.

"Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?" Yeonjun asked as you buckled your seatbelt.

"Nothing," you muttered.

Through the glass, you caught one last glimpse of Beomgyu, standing there with Soobin, hands shoved into his pockets, his gaze still following you as the car pulled away. Something about the way he looked at you sat uncomfortably in your stomach, like he was trying to figure something out but refused to admit he cared enough to.

You turned away, resting your head against the seat.

Beomgyu watched the car disappear down the street, jaw tightening.

Soobin, who’d been standing quietly next to him this whole time, finally spoke, breaking whatever strange daze Beomgyu had fallen into. "So… that guy in the car," he nodded toward the street where Yeonjun’s car had disappeared, "is that her boyfriend?"

Beomgyu’s jaw tensed almost instantly. He felt the muscle in his cheek twitch as he forced himself to keep his expression neutral. "How the hell would I know?" he muttered, too quickly. "It’s not like I’m friends with her."

Soobin let out a short laugh, "Yeah," he said, nodding slowly. "That’s definitely something someone who doesn’t care would say."

Beomgyu didn’t respond. Mostly because he couldn’t. Because Soobin was right. And that fact made something burn in his chest in a way he didn’t know how to handle.

It wasn’t like he cared who you left with. So instead of acknowledging whatever the hell this feeling was, Beomgyu just scoffed, shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans. "Whatever," he muttered. "She’s not that interesting anyway."

Soobin snorted. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

Beomgyu shot him a glare, but Soobin just grinned, already knowing exactly what was happening. Because it was obvious to everyone but Beomgyu. He wasn’t just annoyed with you. He was already losing. And worse, he didn’t even realize he was playing.

The weekend passed in a blur of chaotic laughter and burnt virtual pizzas. You'd spent most of it holed up in your apartment, playing Overcooked with Yeonjun and Kai. Between screaming at each other in the kitchen and ordering way too much takeout, you actually felt… okay.

It was easy to forget about Beomgyu when you were surrounded by Yeonjun’s easy energy and Kai’s ridiculous commentary. Easy to forget how weird you’d felt after that conversation outside the party. How something about the way Beomgyu looked at you that night had stuck to your skin, refusing to leave.

But now, Monday morning had arrived, dragging you back to reality.

Yeonjun’s car rolled through the streets of Seoul, the city still half-asleep as the sun painted soft light across the buildings. You stared out the window, anxiety already bubbling in your chest at the thought of stepping into that studio again.

"You’re spiraling," Yeonjun said, breaking the silence.

You turned to him with a frown. "I’m not spiraling."

"You are," he replied easily, eyes still on the road. "You always do this before big projects. You convince yourself you're not good enough, overwork yourself to the point of insanity, and then act surprised when you have a breakdown in the bathroom."

"That happened one time," you muttered. Yeonjun shot you a look "Okay, twice," you admitted.

He sighed, softening. "You’re too hard on yourself, Y/N. You’re one of the most talented people I know. You just… need to stop letting other people’s opinions get in your head." You chewed on the inside of your cheek, not fully convinced but too tired to argue. When Yeonjun pulled up in front of the HYBE building, he shifted in his seat to face you. "Don’t let him get to you," he said, like he could read your mind.

Your stomach twisted. "Who said this is about him?"

Yeonjun raised a brow. "You forget I’ve known you since forever. I know how your brain works. You groaned, pushing the door open "Y/N." You paused, turning back to him. Yeonjun leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Go make history."

You smiled despite yourself. "You’re so cringe."

"And you love it."

You rolled your eyes and stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind you.

As Yeonjun drove off, you turned toward the entrance, and immediately froze. Beomgyu stood a few feet away, leaning against the building’s brick wall, cigarette balanced between his fingers. He was watching you, eyes slightly narrowed, hair messy like he’d been here for a while.

You blinked, caught off guard. "Since when do you smoke?" you asked, voice laced with confusion.

Beomgyu brought the cigarette to his lips, inhaling slowly before replying, "Felt like it."

His voice was flat, uninterested, but his eyes lingered on you a second too long. You didn’t know what you were expecting, maybe some cocky remark, some teasing jab about how you were already looking for him first thing in the morning, but this wasn’t that.

Your eyes flickered over him. Messy hair, dark hoodie slightly wrinkled, the usual sharpness in his gaze dulled by something you couldn’t quite place. You weren’t sure if it was exhaustion or irritation or something else entirely, but the longer you looked at him, the more uneasy you felt.

You glanced at the cigarette between his fingers, then back at him. "You know," you started carefully, "when I offered you one at the party, it wasn’t supposed to be, like, an invitation to pick up a habit."

Beomgyu finally looked back at you then, eyes dark, unreadable. "And yet," he said, taking another drag, "here we are."

You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. "Beomgyu."

"What?" he muttered, flicking ash onto the pavement.

You hesitated. You didn’t know what you wanted to say, really. That he looked like shit? That something about him felt off, wrong, like a version of him you weren’t used to seeing? That, for some reason, it actually bothered you?

Instead, what came out was: "You shouldn’t."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "You shouldn’t either." You opened your mouth, then shut it. He wasn’t wrong.

A heavy silence settled between you. You weren’t sure how long you stood there, watching the embers at the tip of his cigarette burn down, before he finally crushed it under his shoe.

"You’re gonna be late," he muttered, nodding toward the entrance.

You studied him for a beat longer, but whatever was going on with him, he clearly wasn’t going to tell you. And you weren’t about to push. So, you simply nodded and stepped past him, heading toward the doors.

Beomgyu watched as you stepped inside without another word, your expression unreadable. Something about it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He clicked his lighter open and closed absentmindedly, the metallic snick breaking the early morning quiet. His fingers itched to pull out another cigarette, but he hesitated, staring at the crushed remains of the last one under his shoe.

This wasn’t supposed to bother him. None of this was supposed to bother him.

His eyes drifted toward the spot where Yeonjun’s car had been parked just minutes ago.

He knew who Yeonjun was—everyone did. One of the youngest producers at SM, annoyingly talented, the kind of guy whose name always came up in conversations about industry golden boys. Beomgyu had seen his work before, even respected it in a distant, objective way. But what he hadn’t known was that you and Yeonjun were close.

Beomgyu had never cared to pay attention to your life outside of work. As far as he was concerned, you existed within the walls of HYBE, always one step ahead of him, always in his way. That was just how things were. But now, his brain kept circling back to the sight of you stepping out of Yeonjun’s car, back to the way Yeonjun had leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead like it was second nature.

His grip on the lighter tightened. He didn’t understand it.

It wasn’t like you didn’t have a life outside of the studio. It wasn’t like he expected you to just… exist in the same orbit as him, only crossing paths when necessary. It wasn’t like it bothered him.

Beomgyu scoffed under his breath, shaking his head. What does it matter? It doesn’t. It’s none of my business.

He reached for another cigarette, but before he could light it, his fingers hesitated over the lighter. Instead, with a sharp exhale, he shoved both back into his pocket and pushed himself off the wall. There was work to do.

The pre-chorus had been frustrating you for days, and as much as you hated to admit it, Beomgyu had an ear for this kind of thing, he always knew how to make a build-up feel effortless, how to land the right emotional weight in just a few bars. You could spend another three hours trying to figure it out yourself, or you could go straight to the person who could fix it in ten minutes.

You exhaled sharply, running a hand through your hair. The last thing you wanted to do was go to his studio. But you weren’t about to let your own stubbornness slow this project down. So, before you could second-guess yourself, you grabbed your notebook and pushed yourself up from your chair.

When you knocked on the door, there was no immediate response. You hesitated before pushing it open anyway, Beomgyu never cared about formalities, and you weren’t in the mood to wait around.

The room was dimly lit, monitors casting a faint glow against the walls, soundproofing panels muting the outside world. Beomgyu was at his desk, hoodie draped loosely over his frame, fingers tapping absentmindedly against the surface as he stared at his screen.

He didn’t look up when you walked in. "You busy?" you asked.

There was a pause before he finally sighed, dragging his gaze away from the monitor. "What do you want?"

You frowned at his tone, disinterested, distant. "I need a second opinion on the pre-chorus," you said simply. "Something’s off, but I can’t figure out what."

He nodded once, pushing his chair back and gesturing lazily at the extra seat beside him. "Fine. Play it."

You sat down, plugging in your USB and pulling up the track. The moment the instrumental filled the room, you forgot about everything else. Your frustration, his mood, it all faded into the background as you focused on the music.

Beomgyu listened in silence, his expression blank as the pre-chorus built up, then crashed into the chorus. When it ended, he rolled his chair slightly forward, resting his elbow on the desk.

"The chord progression in the build-up is too predictable," he muttered. "You need more tension before the drop, otherwise it just falls flat."

You nodded, adjusting some of the notes. "Like this?"

Beomgyu leaned in slightly, watching the screen. "Move that second chord up a half step. And stretch the last measure—make it drag just a little longer before the hit."

You followed his instructions, layering in the adjustments before playing it back. This time, the build-up carried more weight, pulling in a tension that hadn’t been there before.

You turned to him, and for the first time since you walked in, you saw a flicker of something in his eyes, satisfaction, maybe. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. "Better," he said simply.

You studied him for a beat, something about his demeanor still nagging at you. Normally, Beomgyu would’ve had more to say—some kind of sarcastic comment about how he had to fix your mess again, or at least a self-satisfied smirk. But instead, he just leaned back in his chair, looking tired.

You debated saying something, asking something, but before you could, he spoke again. "That all?"

It wasn’t sharp, but it wasn’t warm either. Just neutral. And for some reason, that made your stomach twist. "…Yeah," you muttered. "That’s all."

You unplugged your USB, pushing your chair back. Beomgyu didn’t say anything else, just turned toward his screen like you had never been there in the first place.

Then, without another word, you turned and walked out. The door shut behind you with a quiet click, leaving Beomgyu alone in the dim glow of his studio, the silence stretching longer than it should have.

You had been in the studio for hours.

The kind of hours that made your back ache from sitting too long, that made the glow of the screen start to blur, that made every melody sound wrong no matter how many times you tweaked it. It just wasn’t clicking today.

You had gone through four different versions of the same verse, rearranged the chord progression twice, even scrapped an entire section just to start over, only to end up in the same place, frustrated and stuck.

You hated this feeling. It wasn’t the kind of creative block where nothing came to you. It was worse. The kind where everything came to you, but nothing sounded right. Nothing felt like it was enough.

By the time you checked the clock, it was already late. Later than you realized. With a heavy sigh, you shut your laptop and rubbed at your temples, willing the tension headache forming behind your eyes to go away. You weren’t going to get anything done like this.

So, you grabbed your bag, checked your phone, and sent Yeonjun a quick text.

[you]: can you pick me up? i’m done for today. [yeonjun]: omw. 10 min.

You exhaled, pocketing your phone before stepping out of the building.

The night air hit you immediately, crisp and cool against your skin. The city was quieter at this hour, the usual rush of people and traffic subdued into a low hum. You stood near the curb, crossing your arms as you waited, letting yourself breathe for what felt like the first time today.

And then, of course, you spotted Beomgyu. You hesitated before walking over, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket. The familiar scent of cigarette smoke hung in the air, curling around the dim glow of the streetlights.

You stared at him, momentarily taken aback. "You shouldn't keep smoking," you said, your tone quieter now.

His fingers twitched slightly around the cigarette, but he didn’t respond right away. Instead, he brought it back to his lips, inhaling like he was trying to make a point, though you weren’t sure if it was to you or to himself. "Look who's talking" he muttered.

You watched him carefully, the way his jaw tensed, the way his shoulders sat just a little heavier than usual. This wasn’t the same Beomgyu who spent half his time annoying you, smirking like he had the whole world figured out.

You hesitated before speaking again. "It wasn’t a good day."

Beomgyu let out a short, humorless laugh. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." You exhaled. "I couldn’t get anything to sound right. I swear, the harder I tried, the worse it got."

He didn’t say anything at first. Just stood there, the faint glow of the cigarette flickering between his fingers. "You’re too hard on yourself."

You blinked, turning to him. "What?"

Beomgyu flicked the ash off the end of his cigarette, his expression unreadable. "You think too much. You want everything to be perfect on the first try."

Your brows furrowed slightly. "That’s how it works, though. If it’s not good enough, then I have to keep going until it is."

His lips curled slightly, not a smirk, not a frown. Something in between. "And what if you’re the only one who thinks it’s not good enough?"

You didn’t have an answer to that. Beomgyu didn’t wait for one. He took another slow drag, then exhaled, watching the smoke disappear into the air. You glanced down at your phone, checking the time. Yeonjun would be here soon. Beomgyu, ever observant, noticed.

His voice was colder when he spoke next. "Waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up?"

You blinked, caught completely off guard. "What?"

Beomgyu gestured lazily with his cigarette, his expression unreadable. "That guy. The one who dropped you off this morning."

You stared at him for a second, processing. And then, a laugh bubbled out of you, unexpected and breathy. "Yeonjun?" Beomgyu didn’t react. Just stared at you, like he was waiting for an answer. You shook your head, still half-amused. "He’s not my boyfriend."

Something flickered in his expression, too quick for you to catch. But before you could think too hard about it, a familiar car pulled up to the curb.

Yeonjun honked the horn once, rolling down the window. "Let’s go, loser."

You pushed off the railing, turning back to Beomgyu. "See you tomorrow."

He only nodded, taking another slow drag of his cigarette. And as you walked toward the car, you didn’t notice the way his gaze lingered on you a second too long.

Beomgyu's drive home felt longer than usual. Maybe it was because the city was too quiet at this hour, the usual rush of people and traffic reduced to distant hums. Maybe it was because his thoughts had been too loud all day, refusing to settle even now.

Or maybe it was because of you.

Beomgyu clenched his jaw, fingers tightening slightly around the steering wheel. He didn’t like that. Didn’t like the way you lingered in his mind long after you had already left. The way your voice still echoed in his ears, the way your laugh, short, breathy, surprised, had caught him off guard when you realized he thought Yeonjun was your boyfriend.

Why the hell did I even ask that? He scoffed under his breath, shaking his head. It didn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.

In the week that followed, something had shifted.

It wasn’t obvious at first, just small things. A missed comment here, a glance avoided there. But as the days passed, it became impossible to ignore. Beomgyu was different.

You had spent so much time fighting him for space, rolling your eyes at his smug remarks, bracing yourself for whatever new way he’d find to get under your skin. And now, suddenly, there was nothing.

No teasing. No playful jabs. No sarcastic smirks across the studio. It wasn’t that he was rude. If anything, he was polite, too polite. The kind of detached professionalism that you had never associated with Beomgyu before. It was driving you insane.

You barely saw him on Tuesday. Which wasn’t uncommon, sometimes, you worked separately, each focused on different aspects of the album. But usually, even on those days, you’d cross paths in the break room, or he’d pop into your studio just to complain about how much better his demos were than yours.

Beomgyu was already in the studio when you arrived on Wednesday morning, sitting at the mixing console with his headphones on, completely absorbed in whatever track he was working on.

You hesitated in the doorway for a second, waiting for him to acknowledge you. He didn’t. Not until you cleared your throat and said, "Morning."

Only then did he glance up, giving you a small nod. "Morning."

That was it. No comment about how tired you looked, no sarcastic Wow, you actually showed up on time?—just morning. You forced yourself to ignore the weird weight in your chest as you sat down and pulled up your own files.

On Thursday, when you arrived at the HYBE building that morning, something about the usual rhythm of your day felt… off.

And then it hit you. Beomgyu wasn’t here. Beomgyu never worked on Thursdays.

The hours passed, your progress slower than usual. By lunchtime, you gave up and went to the break room, hoping food would help clear your head.

Enhypen was already there, sprawled across the couches and chairs like they lived in this building. You slid into a seat next to Jake, barely registering the conversation around you as you scrolled through your phone.

"You good?" Jungwon asked, eyeing you over his drink.

You blinked. "What?"

"You just seem distracted," he said. "More than usual."

You shrugged. "Just a slow day."

Jake nudged your arm. "Maybe you just need to get out of the studio for a bit. Reset your brain."

"Maybe," you muttered.

A pause. Then, before you could stop yourself— "Did Beomgyu eat before he left yesterday?"

The words left your mouth before you even thought about them, and immediately, you regretted it. Heeseung raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"No reason," you said quickly, looking down at your phone. "I just… I know he forgets to eat when he’s working."

Heeseung hummed. "Honestly? I have no idea."

Sunghoon glanced up from his drink. "You could just text him and ask, you know."

You scoffed. "Like I care that much."

Jungwon smirked. "Uh-huh." You ignored them, tapping your fingers against your cup. It wasn’t a big deal. Beomgyu could take care of himself. That’s why, on Friday, you gave up.

If Beomgyu wanted to be distant, then fine. Let him be distant. You weren’t going to sit here and try to figure out why he had suddenly decided to act like you were nothing more than a coworker.

At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. But when you walked into the studio that morning, the first thing you noticed was that his bag was already there. You weren’t sure why that made your shoulders relax slightly.

You ignored the thought as you set your things down, pulling up the demo you had been struggling with all week. Your goal was simple: work, focus, and not let whatever this was with Beomgyu get in your head.

But apparently, he had other plans. Because suddenly, after an entire week of acting like you barely existed, he was everywhere.

The first time he appeared in your studio, you barely reacted. "Hey," he said casually, leaning against the doorframe, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. "Can you listen to something real quick?"

You gave a short nod, sliding your headphones down to your neck as he walked in. He played a section of the track he had been working on, something stripped down, mostly just melody and chords. "It feels empty," he muttered, frowning slightly. "I don’t know if it needs more layering or if I should just change the chord progression entirely."

You listened, trying to focus on the music instead of the fact that this was the most he had spoken to you all week. "It’s fine," you said, keeping your tone neutral. "Just needs a little more texture."

Beomgyu nodded, thoughtful. "You wanna add something?"

You hesitated, fingers hovering over your keyboard. "You don’t need my help."

He shrugged, tilting his head slightly. "Yeah, but you’re good at this part."

You blinked, caught off guard by the compliment. But instead of responding, you just reached for your mouse and started tweaking the mix, ignoring the way he stood behind you, watching.

By lunchtime, you had stopped keeping track of how many times he had walked into your studio.

"Hey, quick question—" "Hey, do you have the latest version of—" "Hey, can I borrow—"

It was endless. At first, you had answered him normally, keeping things short, professional. But the more he did it, the more irritated you became. Not because he was being annoying. But because why now? Why spend an entire week pretending you didn’t exist only to suddenly act like everything was normal? You weren’t going to play along.

So, by the fourth time he showed up at your door, you barely even looked up. "I’m busy," you muttered, clicking through your project files.

Beomgyu blinked. "I didn’t even say anything yet."

"You were going to."

He hesitated, then let out a small chuckle. "Damn. Am I that predictable?"

You didn’t answer, just continued working. For a moment, he didn’t move. Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him shift slightly, like he was about to say something.

But instead, he just exhaled and muttered, "Never mind," before walking away. You ignored the strange twist in your stomach and forced yourself to focus on the screen.

You had just finished saving your project when you decided to take a break, stretching your sore muscles before stepping out into the hallway. You weren’t planning on running into anyone, but as soon as you turned the corner, you nearly walked straight into Seungcheol.

"Oh," you said, stepping back slightly. "Sorry."

He smiled, easy and confident. "No need to apologize."

You already knew him, Baekhyun had introduced you two at the HYBE party last week. And while your first meeting had been brief (and rudely interrupted by Beomgyu), you remembered how intently he had listened when you talked about your work.

"You’ve been keeping busy," he mused, crossing his arms. "Baekhyun showed me some of the demos from your sessions. I was impressed."

Something warm settled in your chest. "Really?"

Seungcheol nodded. "You have a good ear. I meant to follow up after the party, but you disappeared before I could."

You huffed a small laugh. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Seungcheol’s gaze stayed steady. "If you ever want to share more of your work, my office is always open. I’d like to hear what else you’re capable of."

It wasn’t an empty offer, you could tell. This was an opportunity. And you weren’t about to waste it. "I’d love that," you said sincerely.

Seungcheol smiled, lingering for just a second longer than necessary before nodding. "I’ll be waiting, then."

And with that, he walked past you, disappearing down the hall.

You barely had a second to process before you felt it, that shift in the air. A presence behind you. You turned slightly, and there he was. Beomgyu was standing just a few feet away, hands shoved deep in his pockets, expression unreadable. Your breath hitched slightly, but you forced yourself to act normal.

Beomgyu's gaze flickered briefly down the hallway where Seungcheol had disappeared. Then, finally, he looked back at you. "You should be careful with him," he said, voice flat.

You frowned. "What?"

Beomgyu tilted his head slightly. "Seungcheol. He doesn’t offer that kind of thing just to anyone."

There was something in his tone, something that wasn’t quite neutral. You crossed your arms. "I know that. He’s creative director. It’s literally his job to look for talent."

Beomgyu scoffed, gaze dark. "Right. Sure."

Your frown deepened. "What’s your problem?"

"Nothing," he muttered, already turning away. "Forget it."

And just like that, he walked past you, heading back to his studio without another word. You stood there, confusion and irritation swirling in your chest. What the hell was that?

So, after that, you had spent the entire day locked in your studio.

It wasn’t intentional at first, you had just wanted to get some uninterrupted work done, to make up for how frustrating this week had been. But one track turned into another, one minor adjustment turned into an hour of tweaking, and before you knew it, the sun had set and most of the building had emptied out.

You barely noticed. At some point, Taehyun had texted asking if you wanted to grab dinner, and you had ignored it, too caught up in your work to even think about food.

It was only when your screen blurred in front of you, exhaustion pressing against your temples, that you finally admitted defeat. You packed up slowly, rubbing at your tired eyes as you stood. The quiet hum of the studio, once comforting, now felt suffocating after being inside for so long. You needed air.

When you opened the door, ready to leave, you nearly tripped over something. A cup. An iced americano, sitting neatly in front of your studio, condensation beading against the plastic.

You stared at it, confused, before noticing the small note taped to the lid. Your brows furrowed as you peeled it off, unfolding the paper between your fingers. The handwriting was messy, slanted, but familiar.

don’t pass out in there

Your lips parted slightly. There was no signature, no indication of who it was from. But you knew. Of course you knew, it was Beomgyu's handwriting.

Your fingers tightened around the note as your heart did something stupid in your chest, something warm, something soft, something you did not want to acknowledge.

Because what the hell was he doing? He had spent the entire week keeping his distance, barely speaking to you, only to suddenly spend the whole day in your space asking for your help. And now this?

You exhaled sharply, trying to shake off the strange feeling settling in your stomach. Maybe this was just some weird attempt at making up for how weird he had been all week. Or maybe he was just screwing with you again, playing some long game you didn’t understand. Or maybe… maybe he just noticed.

Noticed how hard you were working. Noticed that you hadn’t taken a break all day. Noticed you.

You clenched the note tightly before shoving it into your pocket. Your confusion hadn’t gone away. If anything, it had gotten worse. But as you picked up the coffee, taking a slow sip, you realized something else. For the first time all week, Beomgyu had made you smile.

When Saturday morning arrived, you forced yourself to push work aside. No checking mixes, no tweaking arrangements, no thinking about deadlines. Instead, you spent most of the day in the apartment, lounging on the couch while Yeonjun flopped down beside you, mindlessly flipping through TV channels.

"Are you actually not working today?" he asked, stretching his arms above his head.

"I told you I’d take a break," you muttered, though even as you said it, your fingers twitched with the urge to check your email.

Yeonjun narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, but you suck at taking breaks."

You rolled your eyes. "I’m trying."

"You better be," he said, nudging your leg with his foot. "We have a big night ahead."

Ah. Right. The party. You had promised Yunjin and the others that you’d actually go out tonight, no bailing at the last minute, no pretending you were too busy with work.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like going out. It was just that sometimes, after spending all week drained from work, the last thing you wanted was to force yourself to be social.

But tonight, you needed it. So when evening rolled around, you found yourself in front of your closet, sifting through outfits while Yeonjun lounged on your bed, watching with an amused expression.

When you were finally ready, Yeonjun whistled. "Damn. If I didn’t know you, I’d think you actually wanted to impress someone tonight."

You scoffed. "I just want to have fun."

Yeonjun smirked, but thankfully, he didn’t push it. Instead, he just slung an arm around your shoulders as you both headed out.

The place was already packed when you arrived, the bass from the music thrumming through the floors as bodies filled the space. You spotted Yunjin first, standing near the bar with Hueningkai, Taehyun, and a few other familiar faces. She waved excitedly when she saw you, immediately pulling you into a hug.

Yeonjun handed you a drink, and you gladly took it, letting the warmth of alcohol relax your shoulders as you settled into the atmosphere. For the first hour, it was easy. You danced with Yunjin, laughed at Taehyun’s terrible attempts at flirting with someone near the bar, took ridiculous selfies with Hueningkai.

It felt normal. And then, as you were making your way back from the bar with a fresh drink in hand, you saw him.

Beomgyu.

Your steps faltered for half a second before you recovered, eyes flickering over the scene in front of you. He wasn’t alone, he was with Soobin, Heeseung, and Jungwon, all of them gathered near a booth in the corner.

But what caught your attention wasn’t the fact that he was here. It was the fact that he was already drunk. You could tell immediately, the way his smile was looser than usual, the way he leaned slightly against Soobin as he talked, the way his gaze was just a little too unfocused.

And then, as if he could feel you looking, his eyes found yours. For a second, neither of you moved. Then—

A slow, lazy grin spread across his lips. You barely had time to process before he was pushing off the booth, making his way toward you. You braced yourself.

"Look who it is," he drawled, stopping in front of you. His voice was warm, teasing, the opposite of how he had been all week. "Didn’t think I’d see you here."

You raised an eyebrow. "Didn’t think I’d see you here either."

Beomgyu let out a breathy laugh, tilting his head slightly. "Why? You think I just sit in the studio all day?"

You crossed your arms. "You literally do."

"Fair point." He took a sip of whatever drink he was holding before glancing over your shoulder, his gaze flickering toward the group of people you had been with. "You come with Yeonjun?"

You blinked at the question, caught off guard. "Yeah?"

He hummed, expression unreadable. Before you could say anything else, Soobin and Heeseung appeared beside him, greeting you easily. "Hey," Heeseung said, flashing his usual friendly smile. "Didn’t expect to run into you tonight."

You shrugged. "Trying to be social for once."

Soobin chuckled. "That’s new."

Jungwon, who had been hanging back slightly, smirked. "Are you guys gonna fight here, too, or do you save that for work?"

You rolled your eyes. "We don’t fight."

Beomgyu snorted. "Oh, we definitely fight."

The group laughed, and despite yourself, you felt your shoulders relax slightly. This was weird. You weren’t used to seeing Beomgyu like this, loose, relaxed, actually enjoying himself instead of glaring at a screen for hours. For a second, you let yourself take him in.

Beomgyu looked… different. Not in a drastic way, but enough for you to notice. He wasn’t in his usual oversized hoodie or the comfortable, slightly-wrinkled clothes he practically lived in at the studio. Instead, he was wearing a black shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, the fabric slightly unbuttoned at the top, showing just enough skin to be annoying. His silver jewelry caught the dim lighting of the room, glinting slightly as he shifted his drink from one hand to the other.

It suited him way too well. You hated that you noticed that. And then, just as you were about to shake the thought away, his gaze flickered over you.

You weren’t sure what you expected, maybe another cocky remark, another teasing jab, but instead, his eyes moved over your outfit in a way that made your skin prickle with awareness. "You always wear black," he murmured, almost to himself, but his voice was just loud enough for you to catch.

You raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He took another sip of his drink, tilting his head slightly. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear color."

It wasn’t true, not entirely, but the fact that he had even noticed made something twist in your stomach. "You don’t exactly pay attention to what I wear, Beomgyu," you shot back, crossing your arms.

Beomgyu hummed, his eyes still on you, dark and unreadable. "You think I don’t?"

There was something about the way he said it, something that made your throat go dry. You refused to acknowledge it. Instead, you forced a scoff, shaking your head. "You’re drunk."

"So?" He took another sip, then smirked. "Still got eyes, don’t I?"

And then, just as quickly as it appeared, Beomgyu leaned back, shifting the energy entirely. "Anyway," he drawled, glancing over at the people you had been with earlier, "are you gonna introduce me to your little friend group, or are you scared they’ll like me more than you?"

You blinked, thrown off by the sudden change. "What?"

He gestured vaguely with his drink. "I don’t know half the people you hang out with. Thought I’d be polite and say hi."

You narrowed your eyes. "Since when are you polite?"

Beomgyu tilted his head, studying you like he was trying to figure something out. His smirk wasn’t as sharp now, still there, still insufferable, but softer around the edges, like he was letting himself enjoy this. "Come on," he murmured, leaning in slightly. "Introduce me."

You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"

"Maybe I just wanna see how you talk about me when I’m not around." He grinned, slow and teasing. "Bet you make me sound like a villain."

"You are a villain," you shot back.

"And yet," he mused, taking another sip of his drink, "here you are, still standing here with me instead of running back to your actual friends."

You opened your mouth to retort, but before you could, a voice cut in.

"So," Yeonjun mused, stepping up beside you, eyes flickering toward Beomgyu. "You’re the Beomgyu, huh?"

Beomgyu didn’t miss a beat. "And you’re the Yeonjun."

Your stomach dropped. This was not happening.

They stared at each other for a moment, taking the other in. Yeonjun looked relaxed, but his sharp gaze held a flicker of curiosity, like he was trying to decide if Beomgyu was worth his time. Beomgyu, for his part, seemed perfectly at ease, his usual smirk still playing at his lips, shoulders loose, like he found this whole thing amusing.

And then, to your horror, they both grinned. "I’ve heard a lot about you," Yeonjun said, crossing his arms.

"Same," Beomgyu replied. "Didn’t think we’d actually meet like this."

You narrowed your eyes. "You two know each other?"

"Not personally," Yeonjun said, shrugging. "But come on. We work in the same industry. I know his work. He’s good."

Beomgyu smiled, tilting his head. "I know your work too, by the way. Not bad."

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow. "Not bad?"

Beomgyu grinned. "I’d say pretty good, but I don’t wanna inflate your ego this early in the conversation."

Yeonjun laughed. "Fair enough."

You looked between them, deeply suspicious. "Why does it feel like you two are getting along?"

Beomgyu glanced at you. "Why? You want us to fight?"

Yeonjun rolled his eyes. "Relax, Y/N. Not everything has to be a battle."

You huffed, taking another sip of your drink. "So," Beomgyu mused, eyes flickering between you and Yeonjun, "how do you two know each other anyway?"

Yeonjun barely hesitated before answering. "College," he said with a small grin. "We met during our first year and just… clicked. Ended up being inseparable after that. And now, we live together."

Beomgyu’s brows lifted slightly, his expression shifting, not in surprise, not in jealousy, but something closer to genuine interest. "Oh, that’s cool," he said, nodding. "Didn’t expect that, but it makes sense."

You glanced at him, skeptical. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

Beomgyu shrugged, looking at you. "I don’t know, I just didn’t really picture you as the roommate type. I figured you’d be one of those people who hates sharing a space with someone."

Yeonjun snorted. "Oh, she definitely does."

You shot him a glare. "I do not."

"Sure," Yeonjun said, amused. "That’s why you leave your headphones on all the time and act like I don’t exist when you’re in work mode."

Beomgyu laughed. "Yeah, that checks out."

You rolled your eyes. "Are you two bonding over making fun of me?"

"Absolutely," Beomgyu said easily.

Yeonjun grinned. "It’s kind of fun."

You groaned, rubbing your temples. Beomgyu ignored you, still focused on Yeonjun. "So what’s it like living with her?"

Yeonjun hummed, considering. "Honestly? Not bad. We’ve got our system. We both get busy with work, so we give each other space, but it’s nice having someone around who actually gets it, you know? Plus, she’s a decent cook."

You scoffed. "Now that is a lie."

"It’s not!" Yeonjun defended. "She has, like, three solid recipes."

Beomgyu laughed. "Okay, now I really need to know what these are."

Yeonjun counted on his fingers. "Kimchi fried rice, pasta, and… something that she refuses to name, but it’s actually good."

Beomgyu turned to you, intrigued. "What’s the mystery dish?"

You crossed your arms. "I’m not telling you."

Yeonjun smirked. "She’s embarrassed because it started as a ‘let’s throw random shit together and see what happens’ meal, but it accidentally turned out good."

Beomgyu grinned. "That’s kind of impressive."

You sighed, shaking your head. "Why are we even talking about this?"

"Because I’m curious," Beomgyu said simply.

You didn’t really have a response to that.

Something about the way he said it, not teasing, not smug, just genuinely interested, made you feel a little off balance. You were used to bickering with him, used to sharp words and playful jabs. But this? Him actually wanting to know about your life? That was new.

And for some reason, it made your stomach flip.

Yeonjun glanced over his shoulder toward the bar, then let out an exaggerated sigh. "Well, as fun as this has been, I gotta go. Yunjin’s waiting on her drink, and if I take too long, she’s gonna start a manhunt."

With a final chuckle, Yeonjun clapped a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder, shot you a look that was somewhere between good luck and I’m enjoying this way too much, and disappeared into the crowd.

You exhaled, already bracing yourself for whatever Beomgyu was about to say now that you were alone. But instead, "So," he said, turning to you, eyes practically shining. "Did you like the coffee?"

You stilled. You had known it was him the second you saw it, left outside your studio door Friday night, your exact order scribbled on the side of the cup in handwriting you recognized immediately. He hadn’t signed his name, hadn’t said anything, just left it there like some anonymous act of kindness.

You sighed. "It was fine."

"Fine?" he repeated, looking personally offended. "That was good coffee."

You narrowed your eyes. "Why did you even do that?"

He blinked. "Huh?"

"The coffee," you said, crossing your arms. "Why’d you leave it?"

He scoffed, like the answer was obvious. "You were working too much."

You frowned. "And?"

"And," he said, dragging the word out, "I saw you in there, looking half-dead, and figured you needed it." Your lips parted slightly. It was such a simple explanation. No teasing, no ulterior motive, just that. Beomgyu, meanwhile, seemed completely unbothered by your confusion. "I mean, I could’ve let you pass out on your keyboard, but I’m a good person," he said, grinning.

You scoffed. "Sure. That’s why you did it."

"Obviously," he said. Then, with zero hesitation—"Hey, you smoke, right?"

You blinked at the sudden shift. "What?"

"If you wanna go outside for a bit, I’ll come with."

Your brows furrowed. "Why?"

He shrugged, still smiling. "Why not?"

You stared at him, trying to figure out what the hell his angle was here. This was strange. All of this was strange. Beomgyu wasn’t being mean. He wasn’t teasing you just to get under your skin. He wasn’t smirking like he had some grand plan to annoy you. He was just… talking. Open. Chatty. And worst of all, nice. You didn’t trust it one bit. But still, for some reason, you found yourself nodding.

"Fine," you said, already turning toward the exit.

And as the two of you stepped outside, you couldn’t help but feel like you had just agreed to something far more complicated than a smoke break.

The night air was crisp as you stepped outside, the cool breeze biting at your skin. The distant hum of the city filled the silence, car headlights flashing by, conversations drifting from people walking past. Beomgyu fell into step beside you, hands shoved into his pockets, his presence oddly easy despite how complicated he made everything feel.

The two of you had been in sync somehow. You weren’t used to that. With Beomgyu, everything was usually sharp edges and competition, but tonight had been… easy. And now, out here, with no studio walls between you, no music to drown out the noise in your head, you felt like you should say something.

You were still trying to figure out what the hell was up with him tonight when a voice called your name.

“Y/N?”

You turned toward the sound, and your stomach immediately flipped.

Yunho.

The last person you expected to run into tonight.

He was leaning against the railing near the edge of the building, dressed in a fitted black turtleneck and an open wool coat, the kind of outfit that made it impossible to forget just how unfairly good-looking he was.

You two used to hook up a while ago, and you hadn’t seen him in months. Hadn’t spoken since things had fizzled out, no big falling out, no dramatic ending, just… a slow, mutual silence.

You barely had time to react before he was stepping closer, wrapping his arms around you in an easy, confident embrace.

“Been a while,” he murmured, voice warm against your ear.

The hug lingered. A little longer than it should have. Beomgyu hadn’t said a word, but you could feel him there. Standing just a few feet away, watching.

When Yunho finally pulled back, his hands slid down your arms before he let go completely. His gaze flicked past you, landing on Beomgyu, curiosity sparking behind his eyes. He waited, expectant.

You hesitated. Just for a second. “This is Beomgyu,” you said, forcing your voice to stay even. “He's my… coworker.”

The second the word left your mouth, you knew it was the wrong one. You didn’t have to look at Beomgyu to know he heard it loud and clear.

Yunho’s expression didn’t change, if anything, his amusement deepened as he extended a hand toward Beomgyu. “Nice to meet you, man.”

Beomgyu took it, but the shake was brief, impersonal. “Yeah,” he said flatly.

The energy shifted, thickening with something unreadable. You could feel it brewing, creeping into the air like a storm about to break, but Yunho didn’t seem to notice. Or if he did, he didn’t care. Instead, he turned back to you, eyes glinting with something playful. “I was actually heading out, but if I’d known you were here, I would’ve stuck around longer,” he mused, tilting his head. “Maybe next time.”

The words were casual, but the way he said them? Not so much. And Beomgyu caught it. You saw it in the way his jaw tightened, the way his fingers curled slightly in his pocket, the way his shoulders squared just a fraction.

Yunho shot you one last lingering glance before stepping away. “See you around, Y/N.” He turned around, and silence settled between you and Beomgyu, thick and suffocating.

You let out a slow breath, bracing yourself for—what? A sarcastic comment? A joke? Some passive-aggressive remark about your taste in men? Something. Anything.

But Beomgyu just pulled out a cigarette, placed it between his lips, and lit it, his expression unreadable. He didn’t look at you. Didn’t say a thing. You frowned, watching as he took a slow drag, exhaling a stream of smoke into the cold air.

“Hey,” you said finally, tilting your head at him. “You okay?”

Beomgyu exhaled another lazy puff of smoke, gaze still fixed somewhere off in the distance. “What do you mean?”

Your frown deepened. “You’re suddenly being quiet.”

He let out a humorless chuckle. “And?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “Seriously, what’s your problem?”

“No problem,” he murmured. “Just enjoying my smoke break.”

Something inside you twisted. You took a deep breath, trying to keep your patience. “Beomgyu—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, you know.” He finally glanced at you then, dark eyes half-lidded, his expression unreadable. “That guy,” he said simply. “You don’t have to explain anything about him.”

The words shouldn’t have bothered you. But they did. “Jesus Christ,” you muttered, shaking your head. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good,” he said. And just like that, he looked away again, as if that was the end of the conversation. As if he didn’t care.

And that—finally, finally—pushed you over the edge.

You let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “You’re fucking unbelievable.” Beomgyu didn’t react. Just took another slow drag of his cigarette. That only pissed you off more. “You keep doing this shit,” you snapped, voice rising. “One second you’re nice to me, then you’re cold again. Then you’re pushing my buttons just to get a reaction—what the fuck do you want from me?”

Silence. Beomgyu’s expression didn’t change, but his grip on the cigarette tightened just slightly.

You shook your head, letting out a sharp breath. “I swear, I don’t get you. You act like you hate me, but then you do shit like leave me coffee. You act like you don’t care, and then you get all weird and broody all of the sudden. You make no fucking sense.”

Beomgyu took one last drag before flicking the cigarette onto the ground, grinding it out with his shoe. “I never said I hated you.”

Your breath hitched. It was quiet. Just five words. But something about the way he said them, low and deliberate, made your pulse stutter. His gaze was steady, fixed on you with an intensity that made your skin prickle. And suddenly, you realized, this was the first time either of you had ever really talked about it. About whatever this was.

Beomgyu shifted, hands slipping back into his pockets. His voice dropped just slightly, almost like he didn’t want you to hear it. “But you’re right about one thing.”

You swallowed hard. “What?”

He took a step closer. Not much, but enough that you could smell the faint trace of smoke on his clothes, feel the warmth of him even in the cold. “I do like pushing your buttons.” His lips twitched—just barely, just enough to let you know he wasn’t done. He tilted his head slightly, dark eyes flickering with something unreadable. “It’s fun watching you try so hard to pretend you don’t like it.”

And just when you thought that was it, that he was done messing with your head for the night, he added: “But don’t worry.” His voice was light, almost casual. “I don’t care either way. After all, like you said… I’m just your coworker.”

He smirked. Just a flash of teeth, just enough to make your stomach twist. Then he turned on his heel and walked off, leaving you standing there, heart pounding, head spinning, caught between wanting to kill him and—

No.

You weren’t even gonna finish that thought.

my masterlist | previous fic | READ PART 2 HERE

author's note: ok so i KNOW this fic got way longer than i originally planned but here we are lmaoo. part 2 is out and really hope you like it!! also, i wanted to have this done in time for beomgyu’s birthday but yeah… that didn’t happen lol. anyway, hope y’all enjoy <3