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starrynite7114 · 4 years ago

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roommates: four

A/N: Hello everyone! Happy weekend! Hope your week has been a good one! So my brain has been going 100mph. I’m trying to calm it down and focus on one thing, but that’s proving to be hard. LOL BUT I’M TRYING. Sorry the updates are taking longer, I’ve been getting ideas and it just takes over my brain. School is starting back up next week so I’m going to try my best to go on a writing spree this weekend so I can try and update every week. Emphasis on TRY. But thank you for continue to support me, you all are just too lovely.

Also, I have two Angel request I’m going to try to post since they are half way done along with the EZ request. I’m really lagging on EZ, but it will be posted.

EZ request

Dance (Angel)

Always you (Angel)

Lake Part Two

Sex Guru Angel

Everything is you: part 12

Graduation (EZ request)

Rio request

Two Daddy Angel request: Snuggling and Trip to the aquarium

Groupchat for updates! Please join since the tags could be a bit iffy at times!

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please let me know! My tag list is a little messy, but please let me know if you want to be added!

Masterlist

roommates

Word count: 7697

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, smut, angst

You looked at your closet, thinking of what to wear tonight for your date with Angel. He suggested that you wore something comfortable, casual, no dressy outfits.

‘But if you want to wear a skirt for my benefit, by all means mami, go right ahead.’

Angel was too much, but you weren’t complaining. Ever since you agreed to go on a date a few days ago, Angel has been occupying your bed. He always reasoned that it was due to the fact that your bed was comfortable, but you’ve slept on his bed before and it was equally as comfortable. You stopped trying to kick Angel out of your bed since you enjoyed his company. And you figured it wouldn’t be long till Angel got over this need to be with you. You felt like he was just scratching some itch about going down memory lane. You didn’t think Angel was interested and you figured this need he had for you would fade. You had no plans on furthering your relationship and it was to protect yourself and Angel. Agreeing to this date, you didn’t regret it, you wanted to go on a date with Angel, see how it was after all these years.

“It shouldn’t be this difficult to pick out clothes.” You sighed, placing your hands on your hips, looking at yourself in the mirror.

“You don’t have to try and impress me, I’m already impressed.”

You jumped hearing Angel’s voice. You turned and found him leaning against your doorframe, looking sinfully good. His kutte was not on him for once. He was wearing a short sleeve black button up, jeans and boots. His hair was slicked back, newly trimmed along with his beard. But you had to remain strong, you couldn’t let Angel know that he made the butterflies in your stomach go wild. Or that whenever he smiled at you, you found yourself flustered since even when you were younger, Angel’s smile was your favorite thing about him. You made it your mission to keep that smile on his face. Whenever Angel was with you, you noticed how carefree he was and that’s all you could ask for.

You and Angel were always able to be yourselves around one another.

No bullshit, nothing.

“Impress you? Absolutely not, I dress for me baby.” You blew him a kiss before turning back towards your vanity. “Besides, just in case I see some other good looking guy wherever we go, at least I’m dressed to impress.” That was a lie, your eyes wouldn’t leave Angel’s tonight, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Look at you talking shit again.” Angel walked over to you just as you stood up from your vanity. When you turned around, you ran into Angel’s chest. One of his arms wrapped around you, while his hand cupped your face. Without any warning, Angel kissed you, which took your breath away as always. You thought that if you kept kissing Angel, the effects of his kiss would wither away, but you were wrong. It was like every kiss was different on a miniscule level, but it was and it always took your breath away. “This ass is mine baby.” He grabbed your ass, a moan escaping your lips. “God, let’s just order pizza and let me show you who that pussy belongs to.” He bit your ear, another moan coming out of you.

You bit your lip and looked up at him, your fingers began to unbutton his button up. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“No, no, don’t tempt me.” He captured your lips again, his hands stopping you from further undoing his buttons. “I got a night planned for us, but we can definitely have a happy ending later.”

You laughed. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Somewhere nice, fun.” He pulled away from you to stop the temptation he faced.

“So we’re going to a strip club?” You teased.

“Listen, if you want to go to a strip club baby girl, I’m down, but I would rather you strip this outfit for me later tonight.” He twirled you around, your skirt flowing along with the twirl. You wore a white v-neck for your top and a navy blue skirt, shorts underneath.

“Hmm, maybe.” You held up two pairs of shoes, one were heels, while the other were Air Jordan’s.

“Heels or Jordan’s?”

“Jordan’s, you don’t need heels where we’re going.”

“Can you just give me a hint?”

“It would defeat the purpose of a surprise.”

“You’re annoying.”

Angel chuckled. “Learned from your annoying ass.”

Angel had been driving for forty-five minutes and the sun had setted. It was nice to watch the sunset, listening to some old school jams, and with Angel’s hand was intertwined with yours. You could get used to this, but at the same time, you had your reservations. While Angel made it clear that the scars didn’t bother him, it was still an insecurity for you. Why would he want damaged goods? It was a thought that Carmelo basically embedded in your mind. Why would anyone want damaged goods? Why would anyone want to touch a woman who had someone else’s initials carved on them? He wanted to mark you up so that no one else would want you, so he could have you, you would have no choice. It was all about choice with Carmelo. He would be your choice, your only choice. He isolated you, made sure that you had no choice but to stay with him.

But then Medina came along and gave you a choice.

At first, it was just an escape from your reality.

Then the outings with his wife came about and Carmelo didn’t mind since he was mildly afraid of Medina’s wife.

Then eventually he helped you escape Carmelo.

You never asked for details, you didn’t want details. All you cared about was that Carmelo was gone.

“Baby, I lost you.” Angel softly squeezed your hand.

“Sorry,” you offered him a smile and you noticed that he had stopped driving. Looking at the place before you, you smiled. “Angel Reyes, you want to get your ass kicked on our first date?” He brought you to your favorite mini-golf place, a date you two had plenty of times when you were still teenagers.

“This isn’t our first date and kick my ass?” He scoffed. “Baby, daddy’s winning this.”

“Odd term to refer to me as, daddy, but I mean, whatever floats your boat.” You shrieked as you exited your car, grabbing your stuff.

You closed the door and Angel made his way over to you, backing you up against your car. “You’re such a shit talker today.” He smirked. “We should make this interesting.”

“How so?” You were intrigued.

“Let’s make a wager, if I win, you left me fuck you in your car after we finish, but if you win, you could have your way with me.”

“Ooh, or, if I win, we go home right after this, forget the rest of your plans and you can fuck me at home.” You whispered this in his ear, making Angel groan.

“Fuck it, you win, let’s go home.”

“No,” you shook your head. “We just got here, let’s play, just so daddy can hand your ass to you.”

Angel chuckled. “Keep that energy up.”

You were currently at the last hole for mini-golf. Angel was kicking your ass, which didn’t surprise you. You always knew he let you win when you two were younger.

“I can’t wait to have those legs wrapped around me.” He whispered into your ear as you made your way to hit the golf ball.

You scoffed. If you made a hole in one, you could win. But of course, the last hole was rarely the easiest.

“You look good sticking your ass out like that.” Angel licked his lips, the gesture was not amiss by you.

Looking over at Angel, you playfully glared at him. “You’re distracting me.”

“Is that your excuse of why you’re doing so terribly?” Angel smirked.

“Fuck you Angel.”

“That’s the plan baby girl.”

You rolled your eyes and hit the ball. And much like you predicted, you lost. Angel walked with that damn swagger towards you, but it seemed to have grown tenfold. His confidence made Angel so much more attractive. He was already an attractive guy, but this swagger, the smirk on his face, that shirt that accentuated his newly sculpted body, it was sinful.

How could you keep resisting him?

“I’m glad you wore the skirt.”

“Yeah? Why is that?”

“Easy access.”

You moaned, your fingers became entangled in Angel’s hair, your back arching as he continued to eat you out. His lips parted from your nether lips, the devilish smirk on his lips, your juices make his beard glisten.

“Fuck,” you breathed out. You would never tell Angel he was the best oral sex you ever had. Best sex you ever had, period. “I’m so close daddy.”

“I know baby,” he spat down on your pussy, the added lubrication was not needed, but the mere act of it turned both of you on. Angel slid in two fingers in you, your skirt was bunched up above your stomach, Angel watching his ringed fingers disappear in you. His rings would bump against your entrance, the cold metal making the experience that much more erotic. “So fucking tight like always.”

“Uh huh,” you panted. “Daddy please let me come, let me come on your dick.” Control was something you rarely gave, especially with everything that happened with Carmelo. But with Angel, it was almost natural.

Angel bit your inner thigh. “I told you that you would be begging for daddy’s dick.” His mouth was back on you once again, adding a third finger sliding in and out of you.

“That feels so good.” You whimpered, moving your hips to meet his.

“Don’t move.” He held your hips down, he sucked your clit in, the added sensation felt so good. You felt your legs shaking, the tears welling up in your eyes. Angel had already made you come three times prior to your impending one. “Look at you, my pussy is just clenching my fingers, wishing it was daddy’s dick. You want daddy to stretch his tiny pussy out?”

“Yes daddy,” you begged, your hand resting on his hand that was holding your hip down.

Angel chuckled. He increased the pace of his fingers and before long, you were arching your back, seeing stars as you screamed out Angel’s name. Angel continued moving his fingers in and out, your walls sucking him in, keeping you feeling full. Pushing him away, you moved down your folded middle seats and took a deep breath. Angel’s eyes were locked with yours, licking the juices that were on his fingers. He pulled you towards him, cupping your face as he kissed you, his tongue massaging yours, your hand drifting under his shirt. His lips hovered above yours as he stopped your hand from moving further.

“Not yet baby, let’s eat and then I can fuck that pretty little pussy.” He gave you one last peck and moved down to sit at the edge of your trunk. You two had gotten some In N Out burgers with fries and a shake. Once you were at the lookout that rarely anyone frequented at night, Angel tore your panties off of you and ate you out. Your food was cold now, but you didn’t give a fuck, Angel gave you some of the best orgasms you’ve ever had and you hated him for it.

You sat next to him, the wetness in between your thighs should have made you feel disgusted, but knowing it was due to Angel, it made you wetter. Angel handed you your burger. You didn’t realize how hungry you were till the burger was in your hand. You two quickly ate your burger and fries, the melted milkshake still hit the spot. Angel moved to sit behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle and resting his chin on your shoulder.

The view of Santo Padre below you was breathtaking. You always enjoyed the peace and quiet, something Angel always tried to provide for you. Whenever you were stressed out, Angel provided the escape for you and you always appreciated how well he could read you.

“Why’d you come back to Santo Padre?” Angel always meant to ask you when he first saw that you had come back to this little town of his. He didn’t understand why you would come back, there was nothing here.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. After the whole thing with Carmelo, I wanted to disappear. Being up north just had too many memories and I was just embarrassed for everything that happened.” You leaned your head back against Angel’s chest.

“Embarrassed?” Angel’s head lifted, looking at your side profile.

“I was always so strong willed and wouldn’t take shit from anyone.”

“Say that again.”

You playfully elbowed Angel and he laughed, kissing your cheek. “I was embarrassed, I shunned my family and friends. Then when I finally opened my eyes, I could barely open them.” The memories of Carmelo’s abuse never waned, it was always present like it occurred the previous day. It was easier to mask your feelings or the fear you felt during those times. The scars on your back were nothing compared to the scars he inflicted within. How low you felt always came to hunt you. Confidence was always something you possessed, it was reinforced by your family along with your friends. Cheating was a deal breaker and abuse was above that. After the first hit, you always questioned yourself why you didn’t leave, then you realized that the emotional abuse started before the physical. Carmelo caught you in a low point, a patient had died on you, a nine year old and he swept in. The way he belittled you, it made you feel like an inadequate nurse and that’s when the abuse truly started. He knew how to make you feel low, reminding you that due to your inadequacy the nine year old passed.

But you realized now that it wasn’t your fault.

But Carmelo already had done his damage.

It took you some time to recover, but being up north suffocated you. The further south you were the better and for some reason, you ended up in Santo Padre. Your mentor, Pierre, an older ED physician took a job in Santo Padre Medical Center and you followed. Santo Padre always held special memories for you and a change of scenery was needed. You didn’t think you would run into Angel, but fate had another thing planned for you.

“This wasn’t your fault you know.” Angel hated hearing the defeat in your voice, the embarrassment. A man who was supposed to cherish you and protect you was the one who did such incredible damage to you. Angel could not forgive that. He had to find Carmelo and kill the mother fucker. He didn’t deserve to be walking on this earth after what he did to you.

“I know that now. He got me when I was in such a low place. He made me feel like a million dollars, but he also made me feel like I was the lowest scum in the world. I loved him, all I wanted was for him to love me. He always told me he did, that when he hit me, he was trying to correct bad behavior so that I would remain perfect.” You felt your chest tightening up thinking of Carmelo’s words. How he sunk his claws into your brain was something you never understood, but it happened.

Angel didn’t want to indulge in going down memory lane about Carmelo, but he wanted to know just how much he hurt you. Though, Angel realized that this may not have been a good idea since he felt his blood boiling. This was supposed to be your date, he shouldn’t be fucking worried about Carmelo. But he was going to find this man and make sure he endured the pain you went through, even greater than.

“He’ll never be able to touch you again.” Angel whispered against the side of your head.

“Medina took care of him.”

“I know baby, but you’re with me now. He will never go near you again.”

And you believed Angel. As long as he remained your roommate, you felt invisible, untouchable. The Mayans were well respected, well feared in Santo Padre. They didn’t need to be like, their presence invoked different types of emotions from everyone.

“When you get married, you should let me rent out a room so you can assure I would stay safe.” Angel knew your tactic. You were subtly trying to put him in the friend zone by mentioning his future without you by his side. It was cute, but that wasn’t going to work on him. He would show you that he was worth a second chance.

“Why would you need to rent a room when you’re going to be sharing a room with me?”

You smiled, shaking your head. “You’re too smooth Reyes.”

“Maybe, but don’t act like I didn’t just give you a couple of mind blowing orgasms. You can keep trying to push me away, but it’s not going to work.” Angel turned your face towards him, kissing you.

You pulled away, your eyes closed as you relished the feel of Angel’s lips against yours. “Has it always been this intense between us?” Your forehead rested against his.

“Do you just try not to remember our relationship?” He gave you a quick peck again.

“Shut up, I do, but I don’t know.” You turned to face Angel, wanting to see his reaction to your conversation. “Sometimes I look back at our relationship and wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together.” It was a thought that was always at the back of your mind. The what ifs scenario.

What if you stayed with Angel? Where would you two be? Would you two be together? Would you two have fallen apart?

What if you decided to come back to Santo Padre after you became a nurse? Would you two have reconnected?

For years after you left, you thought of Angel often. Your connection was always strong when you were younger and at times you felt it may have been too early for you two. That if you met at a later time, things would have been different. You remembered when Angel would sneak into your room, sleep over and pretend he was coming to pick you up in the morning. It wasn’t often but you enjoyed those late nights, talking about your future. He always spoke about your future, how you would be together. Yet when you told him you love him, he just said thank you.

He was your first love.

And they always said you’ll always love your first love.

It irked you how true it was.

Ever since you came back, seeing how Angel grew up after all these years, the love you had for him resurfaced and it grew stronger. But you weren’t willing to take the risk. Angel never seemed interested to rekindle your relationship till recently. At times, before this whole thing when you would share a bed, you would watch Angel sleep. He had no worries in the world and had to always be touching you while you were asleep. His arms and legs didn’t have to be around you, at times, his fingertips were just touching your arm and he was good. Or his arm would be against yours as he slept on his stomach and it helped his craving to be always touching you.

Angel wasn’t sure when it started, maybe it was after the first time you two shared a bed, but regardless, Angel craved your touch. It was his love language.

“We’d be married by now with at least three kids.” Angel’s answer was so firm and sure.

You grinned, shaking your head. “Yeah? You’re so confident about this.”

“Listen, just because we broke up or we were young, it doesn’t mean our relationship was nothing. I knew that I wanted you for the rest of my life then and it hasn’t changed now. You came back to Santo Padre in your own accord and I knew that meant that this was our second chance and I wasn’t going to fuck it up.” Angel took your hand in his, intertwining it. “I know you’re not ready, I know the wounds he left you are still fresh, but I’ll wait. I’m inpatient, but you’re worth the wait. So all these doubts in your mind? About me not wanting damage goods or your choice to not rekindle previous relationships? That’s well and fine, but I’m here to shut those thoughts down.” He didn’t want to tell you he loves you, not yet. He would wait because he knew when things became too much, your default was to just freeze everything out.

“I’m scared.”

“You have no reason to be.”

And you wanted to believe him, but it was going to take time. You just hoped he didn’t get tired of waiting.

=================

As soon as you stepped through the door, Angel was all over you. Once you managed to lock the door, he picked you up, your legs wrapping around his body. He made his way to your room, softly placed you on the bed. He unbuckled his belt and removed it, your eyes never leaving him. Biting your lip, you stood up and maneuvered him to sit down. Unbuttoning his pants, you kissed him, pulling away so you could help him remove his jeans and boxers. Once they were pooled around his ankles, you got on your knees, wrapping your hand on his cock, your thumb spreading the precum on the tip of his cock. Spitting down at his cock, moving your hand up and down causing Angel to close his eyes. You proceeded to give a few kitten licks on the head of his cock before you engulfed it in your mouth.

Angel groaned, holding your hair together as he watched you hollow your cheeks as you moved up and down his length. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, moaning out your name.

“Fuck baby, you look so fucking hot like this.” You moved away from him, sliding your hand up and down his hard length. You take him all the way in, swallowing around him making Angel groan once again. He was trying hard not to fuck your mouth, but you were making it difficult. Dipping your tongue at the slit on the top of his length, Angel caught the smirk on your face as he lost himself watching you engulf his length back into your mouth. Using both your hands and mouth, Angel laid back on your bed, his hand wrapped around your hair, guiding you up and down. The moans that he was letting out was turning you on, you could feel just how wet you were. Knowing you brought such pleasure to Angel, it made you feel good. “Shit, I’m coming.” You took him in deeper, Angel fucking your mouth, groaning out your name as he came.

You let him go with a pop, you smirked as some of his cum seeped from the corner of your mouth before you put it back inside, swallowing it.

“You’re such a good girl,” Angel sat up, his hand still entangled in your hair. He bent down and captured your lips with his, you moaned as you felt him slightly tug your hair, his lips hovering over yours. “Daddy should reward you for being so good.”

“Please daddy,” you were giving Angel total control tonight. You could always be a brat, but tonight, Angel could have you.

Standing up, you stepped away from him to remove your skirt. Your hand was at the hem of your shirt, but you hesitated. Angel saw your hesitation and he gave you a small smile.

“You don’t have to take it off baby girl, you can keep it on.” He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He wanted to make you feel good. The last thing he wanted was for you to worry about your scars.

You bit your lip and took off your shirt. Angel’s smile widened as he saw your body for the first time. You took off your bra and threw it at him. He laughed and caught you when you jumped on him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips together. One of your hands went back down to his length, moving your hand up and down wants again.

“Does daddy want his pussy wrapped around his dick?” Your lips hovered over his lips, smiling as Angel was catching his breath, his attention obviously on the sensations he felt around his length.

“Yeah baby girl, let me get my pussy.”

You positioned yourself above him, slowly sliding down his length. Moaning as your pussy stretched to accommodate him. Throwing your head back, your fingers digging into his shoulders, nails digging in on his skin.

“You’re so big daddy, it feels so fucking good.” You whimpered out as he bottomed out.

Angel looked down at where you two were connected, biting his lips as he waited for you to adjust. You moved up and down, your walls clenching around him making Angel moan your name out.

“Baby, stop clenching my dick.” He chuckled, kissing you to help you relax.

“Sorry,” you smiled sheepishly.

Guiding you to move up and down his cock, Angel watched your face, memorizing every facial expression you had.

“You feel so fucking good baby, tight, wet, always ready for daddy.” Angel whispered against your ear.

Your pace was slow, the burn Angel provided was basically imprinted in your mind. Ever since you two slept together, you haven’t slept with anyone and your dildo, vibrators, definitely did not compare to him, but gain, you would never let Angel know that. Angel’s fingers came in contact with your scar and you slightly froze. Before he could lose you, Angel cupped your face, brought your lips down to his.

“Don’t, stay with me.” He thrusted up into you, your brain fogging as the overwhelming pleasure Angel was giving distracted you. Watching Angel as he licked his thumb, he pressed it against your clit, even adding greater pleasure to you. Increasing your pace, you used his shoulder as leverage as you moved up and down his length, walls clenching around him. “You’re safe, you’re with me and I would never let anything happen to you.”

One arm was around his neck, his hand cupping his face. Your lips were above his, your breath mixing as you chased your high. Angel rubbed your clit, biting his lips as he watched you bounce on his length.

“Yeah baby girl, daddy can feel it.” Angel latched his mouth around your breast, his tongue swirling around your nipple.

“Daddy, oh my god, just like that.”

You threw your head back, black stars filling your vision. Both of your arms were around Angel, your walls still spasming around him. Angel peppered your skin with kisses, sucking on a few spots on your neck that was sure to make a mark.

“You were talking so much shit not too long ago and now look at you.” Angel smacked your ass, making you yelp, biting your lip. “Have to stop fighting the inevitable querida.” He grabbed your ass, grinding you down against him.

“You’re so determined about us.”

“I’m confident in every aspect of my life, especially when it comes to you.”

You laughed at his comment, which turned into a choked moan when you felt Angel thrust up into you.

“Can you get on your hands and knees for me?” He questioned, making sure you were comfortable. He wanted to show you that your scars, they were nothing to be ashamed of. It didn’t change you. He would never force you out of your comfort zone, especially about something that truly traumatized you.

“Okay.”

“Put your chest on the bed.”

You did as Angel instructed. You rested your chest against the bed, you turned your head so you could see Angel. He was looking at your back, no trace of disgust in his eyes. For once, you didn’t feel judged, scrutinized or even pitied. He just looked at your scars as if he was memorizing them.

“Angel,” you called out to him, bringing him back to you. “Come back to me.”

Angel was mesmerized by her scars. Thinking of how many times Carmelo must have hurt you, what he used to inflict such damning scars on your back. And that carved ‘C’ on your back, he tried not to focus on Carmelo’s actions, not wanting to lose himself right now, but he was angry he wasn’t there to protect you. It seemed irrational, he wasn’t part of your life then, but if remained a part of your life, Carmelo would have never been able to harm you. All he could think about was covering these bad memories up, a design to show you that with every scar, every hurt he caused and every tear you shed, there was life after and while he could never make you forget what occurred, he would build new memories to show you that you were worth it, that you were beautiful.

That you were loved.

“Sorry baby.” He kissed your back. Angel took his length in his hand, moving it up and down your slit, and pressing it against your clit, teasing you. When he finally slid in, you both groaned, your hands gripping the sheets. “Daddy’s too big, huh?”

You nodded your head, biting your lip drawing blood. At times you wondered what would have happened if you slept with Angel. You’re certain he improved his skills over the years, but fuck, you would have been addicted. And there was no shame, Angel’s stroke game was strong.

“Didn’t hear your answer,” Angel stopped moving, only the tip of his cock inside of you.

“Yes, you’re too big daddy, but I love how you stretch me out.” You gripped the tip of his cock, Angel groaning and pushing back in. You hummed, content that he was buried inside you once again.

Angel slid in and out of you, slow, deep. His slow pace was driving you crazy. You knew he was trying to restrain himself, savoring the moment as best as he could. He heard you sigh, leaning down so his front was against your back. He moved his hands from your hips to your hands that was gripping the sheets. He intertwined your hands, placing small kisses on your upper back before moving to your neck, nipping at your skin, earning tiny moans from you as he stilled inside you again. This wouldn’t be the last time you two would be intimate, but with everything that has occurred, he was just reveling at the moment.

“Daddy, please go faster.” You pleaded, gasping as he began to pound into you.

“Like this querida?” He moved one hand to wrap around your neck, slightly pulling you back so you were slightly lifted off the bed, while his other hand remained on yours. Angel began pounding in and out of you, the pressure he had on your neck was just the perfect added sensation.

You moaned out his name, his hand gripping yours along with the sheets. His lips was beside your ear, grunting as continued to pound into you.

“You look so fucking beautiful.” He coaxed. He felt your walls clenching him, your impending orgasm

“Angel,” the way you whimpered his name, it was intoxicating. It was embedded and his memories, a sound he wanted to head over and over again.

“You ready to cream daddy’s dick?” Angel was close as well, that familiar feeling at the pit of his stomach was there. His pace became stuttered, continuing to pound into you.

“Yes daddy.”

Angel moved the hand against your throat down your front until he reached your tiny nub, the one that’s been screaming for attention. Wetting it with your own combined juices, he rubbed your clit, your orgasm almost came instantly. You cried out his name, your volume would sure have the neighbors aware of what was occurring. Angel came after you, his throbbing cock stilling inside you as he coated your walls. You felt your legs shaking as you came down from this high. Angel slipped out of you, his come seeping out. He smacked your ass, causing you to moan, but that’s all you could do. You were spent in the best fucking way.

Angel kissed his way up your body, turning your head to face him when he got to the top. He kissed you, turning your body so that you were on your back. Cupping your face, the way he caressed made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

“So you gonna quit playin’ and be my girl?” Angel pulled away from you long enough to ask before kissing you again.

This man’s lips were sinful.

Hell, everything about Angel Reyes was sinful.

How was he going to kiss you after asking that?

You sighed, pulling away so his lips hovered above yours. Opening your eyes, you met Angel’s intense stare and caressed his face with your hand.

“I thought I was already your girl?” You teased, closing the gap between you for a quick kiss. “Are you sure about this?”

“I am, are you?” Angel wanted it to be your choice. If you needed more time, he would give that to you.

You moved the back of your hand against Angel’s cheek, his brown eyes looking at you, waiting for your answer. The fact Angel always put the ball on your table, it was different and much appreciated.

“Yes, I am.”

=================

You sat beside your co-worker at work, watching the clock so it would go faster and you could go to lunch. You were at the clinic today and you had a surge in the morning, but currently, you had no patients. Trying your best not to yawn, you hold it in and check your phone. Angel’s name popped up and you smiled.

Favorite Roomie 🍆😏 ‘You want some meat for lunch? 😏’

You cackled.

‘Mmm, feeling veggies today.’

You placed your phone down feeling eyes on you. Looking over, you found your work bestie, Jasmine giving you a knowing look.

“What?” You asked.

“What did BD want?”

“BD?” You were confused by her abbreviation.

“Big dick.”

“Jas!” You playfully smack her. “He’s just being a little shit.” Lifting up your phone, Angel’s reply made you cackle once again.

Favorite roomie 🍆😏

Stop being a little shit, you a rabbit? I know your kind of rabbit. 😏 But for real, what do you want from Wendy’s? I’m in line.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

‘Nuggets and fries, and a frosty.’ ‘Also, how did you know it’s lunch?’

Placing your phone down again, Jasmine shook her head. “You two have been dating for how long now?”

“Two months?” You couldn’t believe the two months passed as quickly as it did. One day you were just roommates, the next he basically moved into your room and the next, he was your boyfriend. The adjustment hasn’t been difficult at all. Angel was always very affectionate, but the biggest difference was the intimacy. The kisses, the sex, and just the sweet little things he would do for you.

“You know it’s been a year at this point. He was just waiting for Adam to be gone and boom, slid in.” Jasmine was ecstatic for you. She was the first friend you made in Santo Padre. When you told her you lived with Angel Reyes, she applauded you. She knew of Angel’s reputation, it was hard to not know about the Mayans. From her friends who had slept with Angel, she heard nothing but raving reviews. And besides that, it seemed that Angel was a solid guy, nice, but ghosted them afterwards. But then when you spoke to her about Angel, the things he did, even she knew he was in love. Then she witnessed your interactions at the Mayans Clubhouse or the BBQ’s you two held at your place, she knew it was only a matter of time.

Picking up your phone, Angel had replied.

Favorite roomie 🍆😏

I literally eat lunch with you every fucking day. You always play like I don’t know you.😒🤔 A creature of habit. Got it baby. You got time to suck daddy’s dick though? 🤔 Also, did you change my motherfucking name on your phone?

You choked on the water you were drinking, shaking your head. Angel has been changing his name on your phone to future husband and you would change it back to your favorite roomie. Ezekiel was named future brother in law, which surprised you.

‘You’re too damn much.’ ‘Hmm, since you’re bringing me food, sure.’ ‘I’m not saying you don’t know me, I just didn’t think you’d keep on track of that.’ ‘Of course I did, you’re my favorite roomie.’

“Did you tell him that you got a job offer in LA from Pierre?”

Pierre, your ED doctor friend/mentor, lived in LA predominantly and did a few shifts in Santo Padre as some community outreach. He worked at Cedars Sinai and got you a job, which was amazing since Cedars Sinai was at the center of LA and you could learn so much more.

“No, I mean, I doubt I’m going to take it.” You shrugged.

“It’s Cedars Sinai, it would open opportunities for you.” Jasmine knew why you were hesitant, but this opportunity didn’t come by often.

You opened your mouth to reply, but Angel’s voice startled you.

“Give me your phone. Favorite roomie.” He scoffed, extending his hand towards you.

“Boy, you’re not just going to demand shit without at least saying hello.” Jasmine scolded.

Angel held his hands up. “Sorry Jas, hello, how you doing, I got you some nuggets from Wendy’s.” He handed her the bag of food he got for her. “Come on baby, phone.”

“Angel, it’s not my break yet.”

“Yes it is, it’s 12:30 on the dot. Let’s go.”

Jasmine chuckled. “Better listen to the asshole over here.”

“That’s right. Listen to me, let’s go.”

You rolled your eyes before hugging Jasmine. Taking your phone, you followed Angel to the van and went to the back where Angel usually set up a blanket for you two to sit in and fool around if you had time.

Settling on the blanket, you take out your food and your mouth watered. “You’re the best babe.”

“Yeah I know,” he leaned over to give you a kiss and grabbed your phone. He unlocked your phone, keeping your phone away as you tried to grab it. “If you change this shit one more fucking time, I’m going to cuff your hands and edge you.”

You gave Angel an incredulous look, pushing him. “Angel, why do you keep changing it? Are you not my favorite roomie.”

“I’m not your fucking roommate, I’ve been upgraded to boyfriend.” Angel scoffed. He didn’t want to be offended by your constant need to change his name on your phone. He figured it was some weird defensive mechanism you had since you were the worst with change. He was surprised you had decided to move to LA, but he realized that you grew up in Los Angeles and moved to Santo Padre at the beginning of high school. He remembered how closed off you were and didn’t really open up till sophomore year and once you did, you and Angel clicked.

“Should I put favorite boyfriend then?” You teased him. The word husband had such certainty to it. You two had just begun dating. Sure, you two dated in high school and you two have been roommates for years, but that didn’t equal immediate marriage.

“Or you can stop playing and put future husband.” Angel rolled his eyes as he took a bite from his burger, shoving a few pieces of fries in his mouth. “We have a party at the clubhouse later, what time should I come get you?”

“Come get me? Angel, I’m not going. I’m going out with Jas, you know this.” You took a bite of your nuggets, leaning against the van. “And don’t even say bring her to the clubhouse, we’ve been planning this for weeks.” Captain Marvel came out and you and Jas had been planning to see it since it was announced.

“Shit, that’s right. Stop by afterward?” He suggested. Being with you was easy for Angel. Eating lunch with you every day, cooking with you at home, grocery shopping, cuddling, laundry, fucking, building furniture you get for the apartment, and fucking, it was all easy for Angel. What he was finding difficult was when you would be lost in your own world, or revert back to just putting this distance between you two as just friends. A few nights ago, you had locked the door and he came home late, he knocked on your door till you finally answered, and you were slightly irate then apologized for locking the door on him.

“Okay.”

You two ate in silence, both of your attention mostly on your Instagrams. Angel didn’t like this type of silence between you two since it was just awkward. You two could usually talk about random topics, but as of late, if you two were together, you would occupy yourself with your cell phone.

“You’re serious about us, right?” The insecurities Angel had screamed at him on the daily. His feeling of inadequacy stemming from him being in the shadow of his younger brother. The love he never felt from his own father, being second best. His mother tried her best and Angel felt she did love him, but his father was a different story. With the hesitancy and the hot and coldness you presented towards Angel, it frustrated him. While he was sure of his feelings for you, he felt that while you seemed present in the relationship a majority of the time, there were times where it seemed like you two weren’t together, that you two were just friends. He felt like he was your fuck buddy.

You gave him an incredulous look and raised an eyebrow. “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” You understood Angel’s questions in some way. You could be hot and cold, which made you feel terrible, but it was hard not to be. Keeping a distance between you two was the safer option for now.

“I don’t know Y/N. At times, I feel like you’re just not in it. We literally eat together every day, so why ask me how I know it’s your lunchtime? You keep changing my name on your phone and girls usually find that shit cute. You know, I just don’t understand why you have this wall up between us. I’m committed to us, I’ve been committed.”

A frown appeared on your face, not liking how you made Angel feel. It wasn’t on purpose. You did this with almost every man you dated or boyfriend after Carmelo. If you didn’t get incredibly attached, you wouldn’t miss red flags like you did with Carmelo. Keeping yourself above the water, and alert, you wouldn’t have to worry about falling back into such blindness.

“It’s not on purpose. I told you, damaged goods remember?” You could feel his intense eyes trained on you, while your eyes remained on the nuggets on your lap. “Maybe this is too soon? Or I’m just not ready.”

“You fucking dated Adam.” Angel let out in frustration.

“Yes but Adam doesn’t have any added complications with him. I had fun and my only worry is basically just my job. There was no stress with him because,” you paused, trying to form the right words. “I didn’t love Adam, he was fun to have around and I never had to worry about losing myself with him. But with you, every time I’m around you, I find myself falling even greater. If we ever broke up, I would lose our friendship. If I lost myself in this relationship, I may not catch red flags like I did with Carmelo.” The seriousness of this conversation was weighing heavy on you. You didn’t want to have this conversation during a fucking lunch break. “Fuck, can we please talk about this later? This isn’t the right place for this.”

“Nope, you’re going to find some way to ghost me. You don’t think I’m afraid of that too? You’re not fucking damaged goods, stop saying that. What Carmelo did to you was despicable, but look where you are now. You’re an amazing woman. You are also a woman who wears her heart on her sleeves and gives her all.” Angel watched as you fidgeted with your fingers, moving your food every once in a while. “I understand why you’re hesitant mi cielo, but, I’m not Carmelo and I never will be Carmelo. I’m in this relationship for the long run, I have no thoughts about us breaking up or anything fucking ridiculous like that. Open your heart to me Y/N, I’ve never hurt you once.”

“You said thank you.” The night of prom was still so fresh in your mind. You knew then that you and Angel weren’t going to last much longer.

“What?”

“When I told you I love you, you said thank you.” You smiled sadly, closing your food and placing it on the bag. “I should go, my break is over.”

Angel watched as you exited the van.

“Fuck!” He yelled out.

He said thank you because he knew you two were going to separate. If he acknowledged his feelings for you, if he told you he loved you, he wouldn’t be able to let you go.

And now, of course it would bite him on the ass.

=================

tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @anangelwhodidntfall : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespancakes : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @onmyspookysblock : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @mrs-losa : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @lilac-tea-time : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @un-poetryy : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat : @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead : @thesandbeneathmytoes : @dark-twisted-and-mechanical-mind : @maddie-georges : @pearlkitten33 : @incorrect-mcdanno : @that-chick212 : @imanerdychubbyqueen : @60shannon : @deeandbobbymcgee : @marquelapage : @justlikebreathing : @mindless-x-dreaming : @thesewordsareallihavetogive : @wiccanmetallicrose : @appropriate-writers-name : @likedovesinthewnd : @admirehermind : @krysiewithak : @helli4nthus : @robbosvgdens : @scuzmunkie : @proudlittlewitchbitch : @lilacyennefer

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #mayans mc fic #mayans mc imagine #roommates

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bobbystompy · 4 years ago

Text

My Top 88 Songs Of 2020

Previously: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Though we couldn’t get as trim as last year’s 75, still very happy to keep this under 100 for the second year in a row. This was a very difficult year in many ways, but music helped make it more bearable.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

Usually a pump up video goes here, but 2020 had a different energy, so Michael, take us in.

88) Katy Perry - “Smile”

Even Katy Perry’s good songs are a swirling spiral of maxed out auto-tune. This one is just fine. It’s... fine.

87) All Time Low - “Trouble Is...”

Is All Time Low the Katy Perry of pop punk?

86) Tee Grizzley f/ Payroll Giovanni - “Payroll”

I have never heard of Payroll Giovanni, but I have two questions:

1) Is this his song, and he got Tee to jump on it?

2) Or, did Tee write a song called “Payroll” and think to himself “You know who would be great on this? Payroll Giovanni!”

Favorite stretch:

Listen, we is not the same, you say "door", I say "dough" You say "floor", I say "flow", you say "for sure", I say "fa'sho"

85) Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande - “Rain On Me”

Coming out in 2020 probably hurt this song, because I have no, like, out of the house memories with it. You can only have so much fun with Big Singers Singing over a pulsing beat when it’s coming from the phone in your kitchen as you’re indifferently scrambling eggs.

84) Benjamin Gibbard - “Life In Quarantine”

Now this is a song you can do nothing to; almost feels like it’s reluctant to even exist. It got released in March of 2020, so the outro (“No one is going anywhere soon”) served as a too sad reminder/mantra for what the year was about to be. Second shout out to Gibbard for the many YouTube sets he put together during the early stages of the pandemic (when so many of his peers were trying to figure out the next move).

83) Cardi B f/ Megan Thee Stallion - “WAP”

This felt less like a song and more of a “whoa, did you see the music video?!” and/or a means to relitigate the eternal question “What is the sexual line in music?” And while it was fun to watch people freak the fuck out... the quality itself really needed to be better.

(Note: YouTube video is the edited chorus; explicit version here)

82) McKayla Maroney - “Wake Up Call”

Former Olympic gymnast McKayla Maroney -- of medals and memes fame -- dips her toe into the music waters. It’s inside-the-box modern pop music. One thing that’s hard to escape: it doesn’t really sound like her.

81) Chelsea Cutler - “Sad Tonight��

He vocals really remind me of Alessia Cara.

80) blink-182 - “Quarantine”

Blink doing a Bad Religion impression. Docked a few points for the very weak chorus lyrics (“Quarantine, fuck this disease”). That said, as serious as the song comes off, there are some clever punchlines to be found.

79) Dave Hause & Brian Fallon - “Long Ride Home”

This is kind of a nothing song, but it’s easy listening. Also, if your guitar leads can’t clear the “Could Bobby have written or performed this?” bar, then said leads are probably pretty weak.

78) Travis Scott & Kid Cudi - “THE SCOTTS”

Two artists who pair so well together, it’s hard to tell who exudes more influence on the track (eh, that’s not true, it’s Travis Scott, but Kid Cudi is more of a roommate than guest). They want you to be high by the time the instrumental outro hits.

77) The Strokes - “Bad Decisions”

The beginning sound feels somewhat evolved, but by the time Julian Casablancas croons “Making bad decisions”, the song feels like it could be on their debut album “Is This It?”. And it goes in and out like that from there.

76) Thundercat - “Dragonball Durag”

Thundercat is one of those artists I wish I liked more, but when the occasional track does hit, it’s a momentary glimpse into what real fans seem to always see.

75) TI f/ Lil Baby - “Pardon”

Standard fare. Lil Baby’s cameo is very meh.

74) Porches - “Do U Wanna”

For a song that repeatedly asks “Do you want to dance?”, it sure makes you feel like you’re moving in slow motion.

73) NOFX - “Thatcher Fucked The Kids”

On the best-named album of the year (“West Coast vs. Wessex”), Frank Turner and NOFX cover each other’s material. To start us off, the legends take a song from 12 years ago about British politics from 40 years ago and, well, very easily apply it to right god damn now in America.

72) The Bombpops - “Dearly Departed”

Ahh, my year’s first cancelled concert. The listed names in V1 always make me want to skip this song -- but patience, grasshopper. Chorus is aight.

71) Ratboys - “Alien With A Sleep Mask On”

This band name will never match what the music sounds like.

70) Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - “She’s There”

The vocals in this song channel, like, four completely different singers for me, ranging from Bob Dylan to Cloud Nothings.

69) NOBRO - “Don’t Die”

An anthemic chorus meant to be belted in a room with sweaty strangers.

68) Oliver Tree f/ blink-182 - “Let Me Down”

The original solo version of this song is 1:52, and though the blink cameo pushes it over the dreaded two minute mark, it adds enough diversity to justify the choice (keep an eye out for the quick Green Day lyrical nod in the back half).

67) AJJ - “Normalization Blues”

This dropped in January, and if you thought the year was bad then. Punk News:

I'll admit I do want the album to age badly because I really don't want to have to listen to it years later and still say this is the world we're living in.

Said album being titled “Good Luck Everybody” is straight cryptic.

66) Selena Gomez - “Rare”

Very chill for big pop; triplet rhythm singing in the chorus gets me erry time.

65) Kid Cudi & Eminem - “The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady”

Cudi’s second split collab yields bigger results than his Travis Scott joint (admittedly with a worse beat here). It rarely ever hurts to let Eminem do the heavy lifting.

64) Alkaline Trio - “Smokestack”

A little cheerier than the average Alk3 song, but Dan Andriano seems like he’s been in a great place for a long time now; confident and in control. For me, the whole song builds up to the “You changed my life” chorus.

63) Frank Turner - “Scavenger Type”

Here, Frank takes on the acoustic closer to NOFX’s legendary 1994 album “Punk In Drublic”. Though the energy boost is most noticeable, my favorite part is how you can hear how much Turner loves this song as his melody bursts on the verses.

62) Mike Posner - “Alone In A Mansion”

Mike Posner, an artist I have a very soft spot for, released a storytelling concept album in 2020. From the intro track:

This album was written, recorded, and produced over a period of two weeks in Detroit, Michigan in my parents' basement. It's meant to be listened to all the way through. At least on the first listen. And it's about 36 minutes long. If you can't devote 36 minutes of undivided attention to this album, I again politely ask that you turn it off and return at a later time. I love you and I thank you for taking the time to listen in the first place. Also, it's important to note that the characters and the stories in this album are completely fictional. In addition, anyone struggling with a mental illness - depression, schizophrenia - should not listen to this album. Turn it off.

So those are the stakes. Pulling this song -- the record’s closer -- feels unfair void of context, but them’s the breaks.

61) Nada Surf - “Just Wait”

Heavy hitting chorus without having to be heavy; this could really work in a movie.

60) Matt Pond PA - “Wild Heart”

This having only 805 views on YouTube is criminal.

59) Liquid Death - “Unnecessary And Unimpressive”

Liquid Death -- in this iteration -- is a punk rock supergroup with members of Rise Against, Anti-Flag, The Lawrence Arms, and The Bombpops. If that didn’t interest you enough, all lyrics in the project (which, I believe, is for charity) come from hateful comments or negative reviews. Of the four artists involved, this sounds most like a Bombpops song, with Jen on lead vocals as others chime in.

58) PUP - “Rot”

Off my silver medalist for album name of the year (“This Place Sucks Ass”), PUP doesn’t do anything new here, but it was relieving to see them still going in 2020 when so many others got roadblocked, both physically and creatively.

57) Paul Harrold and the Nuclear Bandits - “Massanutten”

This reminds me of local Chicago artist Al Scorch. So much earnestness in the vocals, but a little more prairie for Harrold compared to speakeasy for Scorch. This would be a good road trip song. And I’m not talking about singalong... more for the stretch where you want to sit in silence and look out at the sun-kissed land blazing by. The song’s greatest victory is getting me to like something that cracks 6:00.

Note to future me: Massanutten is in Virginia (saved you a Google).

56) Kesha f/ Sturgill Simpson, Brian Wilson & Wrabel - “Resentment”

Kesha has been vulnerable in the past but never this stripped down sonically; the chorus would feel right at home on a country radio station. Love a good bridge, too.

55) Megan Thee Stallion f/ Beyoncé - “Savage (Remix)”

An up-and-comer pairing with a legend rarely lets down when both sides are this locked in. Bey wins. Fav line: “If you don't jump to put jeans on, baby, you don't feel my pain”.

She matches flows with Megan but also brings melody. Her blessing takes this song from pretty damn good to undeniably great.

That beat, too.

54) Red City Radio - “Baby Of The Year”

If all you want to do right now is grab a drink in a bar, here is a video built to troll.

(Also: a Liquid Death cameo?!)

53) Nathaniel Rateliff - “And It’s Still Alright”

The last time Mr. Rateliff had our attention, he just wanted a drink. That hit had a chorus with the very-sad-when-removed-from-the-song “If I can't get clean, I'm gonna drink my life away” lyric. Well, our man got sober since. And when the party is over, the introspection comes.

52) Direct Hit! - “HAVE YOU SEEN IT?”

Listening to slowed down Direct Hit! is like watching Usain Bolt lightly jog. It kinda makes sense because the core action is there, but it also feels sort of incorrect.

51) Hayley Williams - “Dead Horse”

Solo Hayley songs have this feel like they could do anything at any time... but then don’t. This one does the same until a very fun chorus breaks it up.

50) Kid Cudi f/ Phoebe Bridgers - “Lovin’ Me”

Probably the most improbable collab on this list (if 2020 hadn’t repeatedly taught us to not be surprised by anything).

49) The Homeless Gospel Choir - “Don’t Compare”

Listening to The Homeless Gospel Choir is kind of like getting a dedicated pep talk from a good friend... while fire rains down from the sky.

48) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Let’s Sort The Whole Thing Out”

Queen vocals with one prince of a tempo; this chorus is Sour Patch Kids riding Twix logs down a soda pop waterfall -- and it’s a b-side.

47) Green Day - “Meet Me On The Roof”

I like this song because it reminds me of summer and because it doesn’t really sound like Green Day (but still totally does).

46) Broadway Calls - “Meet Me On The Moon”

Promise -- swear -- I was gonna compare this Broadway Calls song to Green Day before realizing they both had titles about meeting in an escalated location. That said, I did put them next together on purpose to more coherently make this point.

45) David Rokos - “Building Bridges”

My buddy Dave wrote this song, and I think I’ve asked him three times what “burning sugar” meant (he says it’s a reference to absinthe). This song will make you want to travel to enjoy not only the places but the people around you.

44) Charli XCX - “claws”

Charli XCX keeps it futuristic in a video that could be described as sexy, cheesy, goofy, and playful-yet-serious.

43) Brian Fallon - “Lonely For You Only”

This is too easy and should not work (and maybe doesn’t). But that chorus... that circular phrasing... it still takes me all the way out. But I’m the same cat who proposed while a Gaslight Anthem cover was playing.

42) Waxahatchee - “Fire”

This song could be in a different language and hit just as hard.

41) Harry Styles - “Adore You”

Purifying pop.

40) Local H - “Hold That Thought”

Hardest rock song thus far. Local H was one of the first artists to play “live” once the lockdown hit (on a simultaneous YouTube/Facebook stream), and watching them attack music in their Chicago practice bunker felt a little bit like taking in the end of the world. New songs, old songs, covers -- it didn’t matter; their cool, unmatched apathy fits a pandemic or peacetime.

Ironically, was able to see them live in 2020, as they played a socially distanced, outdoor drive up concert in a minor league baseball parking lot. It wasn’t the same, but it was still something.

39) Crazy & The Brains - “I Don’t Deliver Pizza Anymore”

This song is just cool*. The verses feel tense and crucial, it starts to unspool in the pre-chorus, and the chorus itself feels like a light comedown more than anything else.

(* - though the lyric video is docked some points for spelling y’all as “ya’ll”)

38) Drake f/ Fivio Foreign & Sosa Geek - “Demons”

Menacing Drizzy can be very fun from time to time. Also more than happy to keep “Toosie Slide” very far away from this list.

37) Hey Dad!!! - “Life’s Alright”

Small band, big song; though summer feels light-years away.

36) insignificant other - “i’m so glad i feel this way about you”

This song lands a big haymaker in the first few seconds, so it was probably a good call to pull back some for the chorus and, eventually, outro.

35) BTS - “Dynamite”

Heard they made the lyrics bad on purpose for their English hit, which makes sense, because they’re bad. That said, if you listen knowing they’re supposed to be bad, it kinda makes them... good? Listen, 771 million views would have me singing nursery rhymes in Pig Latin.

34) DaBaby f/ RODDY RICCH - “ROCKSTAR”

Someone said this could be the song of the summer, but, because there wasn’t really a summer, I feel like I only heard it once all year. Also, are we really pretending Post Malone* didn’t just do a “like a rockstar” song three years ago?

(* - and N.E.R.D. before that and Cypress Hill before that... though N.E.R.D. only waiting a year after Cypress, so maybe DaBaby actually was patient)

33) The Front Bottoms - “the hard way”

Don’t take it easy on the animal / I am the animal

Not quite sure what this line means, but I fixate on the phrasing every single time. This song sounds resigned in a very self-aware way.

32) The 1975 - “If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)”

For a band called The 1975, they sure sound like they’re on their ‘80s shit here. Also, a real thing that happened:

Me: Is he coercing her to get naked?! I thought this band was woke.

/scans lyrics

/notices “She said” before the “Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes” line

Me: Ahh.

Sax solo, take us out.

31) Charly Bliss & PUP - “It’s Christmas And I Fucking Miss You”

A song that is already a forever staple on all my future Xmas playlists.

30) 2 Chainz f/ Ty Dolla $ign & Lil Duval - “Can’t Go For That”

Shorty said she love me / I said “I love me back”

This is a real genre blur; rap at its core, but also soulful, funky, and very danceable. Damn creative.

29) Billie Eilish - “Therefore I Am”

Billie's 2020 gave a few singles -- but no new album -- and a body shaming scandal where the backlash to the backlash probably caused more headlines than the tweet that started it all. Still, she stays on cruise control above the clouds; can all eyes be on you if they can’t even make you out?

Video for this is fun, too. Not sure if her running amok in an empty mall is more of a COVID necessity or commentary on the dying retail industry. As always with her, fill in your own blanks for now.

28) Future f/ Drake - “Life Is Good”

This was my most listened to rap song in the first half of the year, and bumping again now, almost forgot how good it is. Drake just chasing one-liner Instagram captions in the first half:

- “Haven’t done my taxes, I’m too turnt up”

- “N****s caught me slipping once, OK, so what?”

- “B****, this is fame not clout, I don’t even know what that’s about”

And, of course, “Workin’ on the weekend like usual”. The man could make anything glamorous. Let’s hit that H&R Block, bro!

Future’s back half is a totally different song and feels mostly like noise, but the vibe is cool, so I don’t even totally mean that in a bad way. You can even make out a “Got Promethazine in my blood and Percocet” lyric to mark your Future bingo card and immediately move on.

27) I’m Glad It’s You - “The Silver Cord”

This song feels like cold air blowing on the back of your neck.

(Sidebar: thought this band was called The Silver Cord until literally right now)

26) The Spill Canvas - “Mercy”

A dreamy, distorted, at-home version of whatever you remember The Spill Canvas sounding like. This song is confessional and at peace, with the Grade A self-loathing we’ve come to love from this band.

25) 100 gecs f/ Charli XCX, Rico Nasty & Kero Kero Bonito - “ringtone (remix)”

100 gecs first hit my radar with the explosively obnoxious “money machine”, but that’s a 2019er, so this remix to “ringtone” will have to do. It’s catchy like a younger sibling persistently singing a song you’re sick of hearing*.

(* - /only child trying to work in sibling analogies)

24) iann dior f/ Machine Gun Kelly & Travis Barker - “Sick And Tired”

Iann Dior -- ...yeah -- channels Juice WRLD on the hook, and MGK/Travis Barker buoy a track that, honestly, doesn’t really even need the help.

23) Nick Lutsko - “Unleash Your Spirit”

Lutsko hit my radar on Twitter with some legendary political anthems (word to the RNC and Dan Bongino + his Dashboard Trump parody). “Unleash Your Spirit” is the song I most fear hearing (or even thinking of) within a few minutes of going to bed. Not because it’s Halloween theme is scary -- because it’s that god damn catchy. It permeates your brain. True story: a week ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with “Bobbing for apples with the boys” so ingrained in my head, it felt like someone was standing there yelling it through a megaphone.

22) Dogleg - “Kawasaki Backflip”

Bad 2020 robbed many concerts from us, and not getting to see this band live might take the cake. I end the year liking them but could have been *all in* with the right performance and the right venue. Also, Song Title of the Year until further notice.

21) Eminem f/ Juice WRLD - “Godzilla”

Eminem has all of the words and all of the lyrical dexterity, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t anything to ground him. Enter: one of the best beats he’s ever spit on and a Juice WRLD hook to give it pop angle. But let’s not put Slim in the corner -- when he starts accelerating at the end, it’s is a true “holy fuck” moment. It sounds faster than if you actually fast forwarded.

The video ends with a touching audio message from Juice WRLD.

20) Soccer Mommy - “circle the drain”

This song is so gloriously ‘90s; it leans in and does not care.

19) Sam Russo - “Always Lost”

The first time I met you, we were on the last bus You passed me a bottle, and I knew you were one of us

Took 25 words to hook me; I was txting friends before the first chorus even hit.

18) Sincere Engineer - “Trust Me”

Deanna Belos pushes her vocals in this one. I asked about the performance, and she said it was one of the first ones they recorded in the studio, but when they were done and listening back to everything, she re-did this track because her throat was much more used to what the song required.

“That’s why it sounds like I’m on roids lol,” she added.

17) Jay Electronica f/ JAY-Z - “Flux Capacitor”

Jay Electronica signed to Roc Nation in November of 2010. At of the start of 2020, he had still -- STILL HOW FUCKING STILL -- not released a debut album. When he announced it was finally dropping in February, it was met with skeptic eyes. He’d “announced” before. Shit, he’d even posted track lists of albums that never saw the light of day. He was a tease’s tease. It ended up getting a release date of March 12. As the pandemic got really bad in the March 11 zone, he finally had an actual reason to delay the proceedings (the plan: a studio live stream listening party*).

But no -- this is Jay Electronica. Why wouldn’t he drop as the world was ending? The same reason why his costar wouldn’t not have a watch like a Saudi prince. It had to end for it to happen. I wish I saved the memes, because they were fantastic. All I have is my own Twitter memory to prove it happened:

I love this song entirely: the “get the gat” hook (soooo New Orleans), Hov calling out the NFL/acquaintances clout chasing his potential death/rapping forever bars, Jay Elect’s ham-fisted and awkward ass Farrakhan line. Everything is exactly where it should be.

Final verdict on the full album: I don’t know, a B or B+? It had a lot more Jay-Z than expected (wooo), but -- and I rarely say this -- it could have actually been longer.

16) New Found Glory - “Greatest Of All Time”

NFG with a song referencing the Jordan-Rodman-Pippen Bulls only a few months before “The Last Dance” aired. Dare we call it marketing genius? The punk beat does not care; the punk beat is too busy taking souls.

15) Dave Hause f/ Amythyst Kiah & Kam Franklin - “Your Ghost”

“I can’t breathe”

On the heels of the George Floyd/BLM protests came Dave Hause’s somber attempt to capture the moment, desperation, and hurt. On a podcast, he said he was aware he might not ever lead the movement but still wanted to contribute something in an effort to use his platform as a white artist to change someone, anyone’s mind going forward.

14) Taylor Swift - “this me trying”

The chorus makes me feel like the crowd is parting like the Red Sea on a high school -- shit, no, middle school -- dance floor; smoke machine and all. Your crush is waiting for you on the other side. What are you going to say?

13) Phoebe Bridgers - “Kyoto”

Phoebe is one of the best lyricists out because of her specificity, but even though this song is about her dad, you can really fit it to your own narrative.

12) The Lawrence Arms - “Last, Last Words”

The Lawrence Arms wrote their new record (which singer Chris McCaughan described as “this end of the world outpost”) prior to the pandemic, but once you start to process album themes -- and research its namesake -- you do wonder. All of this, combined with some “Catcher In The Rye” references, and we’ve got ourselves a winning formula.

Dressed to kill for oblivion

11) New Lenox - “Fairytale Of Gary, Indiana”

Your boy plays drums and is on the cover art for this one. Dave Rokos wrote the tune, which references The Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”. Good news: no slurs in the Gary version. We’ll have you in and out in 90 seconds. Also: say hello to the recording debut of Alisa Caruso (some backup vox at the end).

10) Beach Slang - “Tommy In The 80s”

My most played song of 2020, but it really was more of a byproduct of how early in the year the album dropped. I’m still such a sucker for it, though. Other than forced nostalgia, not totally sure what the track is about. Did��learn Beach Slang recruited former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson to play on their LP, which was named -- /deepest of breaths -- “The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City” (so maybe it has something to do with that).

9) Juice WRLD f/ Mashmello - “Come & Go”

The :55 mark. Wait until the :55 mark. When the guitar kicks in and tempo doubles, we have a real “oh, shit!” moment. I knew who Juice was when he passed but only “Liquid Dreams”. His 2020 album (“Legends Never Die”) showed us of what could have been; 55 minutes, loaded with cameos and creativity and experimentation. This song had me in its gravitational pull immediately. By the end of the year, they were using it on sports broadcasts, and it felt like a ubiquitous part of the culture.

One of my favorite days of 2020 was visiting the Juice mural in Chicago with my wife. We went impulsively during the day after someone posted a picture on Twitter.

I snapped one of my own and posted to IG with the Signals Midwest lyric “There is such quiet grace in private moments in public spaces”. The band responded with “RIP JUICE”; the perfect online exchange.

Shortly after, I was out with a different group of friends, and we went back at night. This time, it was protected by a fence you had to squeeze past. When we got through, there were kids in there smoking, taking pictures, just hanging out; empty liquor bottles lined the bottom of the mural. Even though it didn’t take all that long to make it there, it still felt like a journey and total ‘movie moment in real life’; a complete rarity in a year like 2020.

8) Mac Miller - “Good News”

Maybe I’ll lay down for a little...

Sadly continuing the theme of artists gone too soon, we have this reflective Mac Miller single, which feels more like self-eulogy than traditional rap. You feel it the entire time. The song crests with “There’s a whole lot more for me waitin’ on the other side”, and it conveys a readiness for whatever happens next.

7) The Dirty Nil - “Done With Drugs”

I don’t pray to Jesus or even own a suit

We lost the creators of our last two songs to substances, and, if we are to take this song at face value, The Dirty Nil don’t want to go down the same path. Drying out never sounded so cool and defiant... until the IKEA suggestion.

6) The Weeknd - “Blinding Lights”

Uptempo Abel is undefeated. My favorite pop song of 2020 has you feeling like you’re speeding through the empty streets of nighttime Las Vegas in a stolen car; indifferent to your environment, only tuned in to your personal desire.

And, on the lamer side of the spectrum, it spawned a catchy TikTok dance.

5) Spanish Love Songs - “Self-Destruction (As A Sensible Career Choice)”

It won’t be this bleak forever... yeah, right.

SLS has always been over-the-top with their lyrics spotlighting the hopelessness of the human condition -- so it was the *perfect* combo to being locked inside with nothing looking to forward to. Bonus: fun cake video.

Though the song’s core is uncut despair, a random moment I remember from 2020 was my wife telling me “I can hear you smiling as you’re singing” from another room as I belted the despondent chorus.

4) Worst Party Ever - “False Teeth”

This song sounds like The Front Bottoms; insecure yet so full.

3) Run The Jewels - “the ground below”

There were a lot of songs *about* 2020, but I’m not sure any artist soundtracked what being alive now is like more than RTJ. My favorite rap song and rap record of 2020.

Fav Killer Mike line: “Not a holy man, but I'm moral in my perversiveness / So I support the sex workers unionizing their services”

Fav El-P line: “I'll slap a dying child he don't pronounce my name correct”

2) The Menzingers - “America Pt. 2″

The Menzingers unexpectedly released an acoustic, re-done version of 2019′s “America (You’re Freaking Me Out)” single. It dropped on my birthday -- June 5th, 2020 -- as the rage in this country boiled over and protesters took to the streets. Though some of the lyrics remained the same, the new ones were changed with true purpose:

Well George Floyd was murdered by a cop The whole world saw the video and watched Now justice is long overdue Grab your pitchforks, we’re heading to Pennsylvania Avenue

I had nothing left when the first pre-chorus hit: “I hope the Devil and Donald and Mitch McConnell rot in hell for all tomorrows”. Tattoo this on my fucking soul.

All funds from the song were donated to Community Bail Funds (via Act Blue) & Campaign Zero. I purchased the track before hearing a note.

1) Machine Gun Kelly - “My Bloody Valentine”

Going into the year, I couldn’t tell you the difference between Machine Gun Kelly and Mac Miller -- now they’re both fixtures in this Top 10. All I really knew about MGK involved tattoos and a rap battle lost to Eminem (not that anyone ever beats Eminem).

In 2020, he took a punk/emo turn, with the services of GOAT drummer Travis Barker and new squeeze Megan Fox at his side. This song’s lyrics could potentially be cheesy but aren’t -- they all land. From the simulation going bad to not wanting “fake love” to all the damn second guessing and the earnestness that just won’t let you off the mat.

Every piece to the puzzle adds something: the messy hair, the Ken doll build, the forced iconic pink guitar that now feels actually iconic. It was almost like no one had any fun this year so he could have all of it on our behalf. There’s a half second shot of him sticking his tongue our during the pre-chorus, a joy 99.99% of us never got to feel.

The album itself was just as fantastic*; a 2000′s pop punk throwback with a Halsey duet, horrible skits (hi, Pete Davidson FaceTime), OpIvy lyrical nod (complete with a royalty check), a warp speed punk track that doesn’t even crack the minute mark, your token 6/8 ballad, acoustic closer (about his daughter), and some experimentation that leaves the new genre but still stays nearby; shades of Lil Peep, if he had Blink-182 as his backing band. Speaking of, please do not miss Travis’ fill at the 2:30 mark.

(* - named “Tickets To My Downfall”... woof)

MGK could get cancelled tomorrow, but we’ll always have this year in a bottle. The acoustic version of the song (sung in a lower resister), the 10 minute making of video (that I watched, uh, twice)... shit, he even turned it into a medley at the start of 2021.

It might be cliche to say “stay winning”, but when someone stacks this many W’s with no end in sight, what the fuck else do you call it? Real love.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading. Here is the Spotify playlist (includes 87 of the 88 songs).

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just-like-playing-tag · 4 years ago

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2019 - June 13, 2020

I wanted to do this for the blog's first anniversary but then completely forgot about it lol.

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: Don and Gilda - Chapter 138: Demon serch (1)

Date: Jun 14th, 2019

Time: ~ 1:30 h

My very first redraw from my very first edit posted here, so it deserves an honorable mention. Back then I was young and inexperienced, I didn't even apply a gray filter (lmao I was so unskilled I even unintentionally scratched the picture, I hadn't realized until today). I'm actually very happy my first redraw was of Don, boy deserves all the love.

#2: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 28th, 2019

Time: ~ 1 h

Back then this looked like so much work to me!!! And to this day, I think it turned out pretty well. I'm particularly proud of how the bow turned out. This is one I was really proud of right after having finished it; it gave me the confidence to try redrawing bigger areas. Also, the edit were I first applied the opacity of layer / opacity of brush for the gray filter that would have stuck with me.

#3: Krone's birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th, 2019

Time: 15 mins

I don't know I just really like how Krone's hair vanish to a more sketch-like style here– and consequently, how I managed to replicate such effect. I think Krone's beautiful.

#4: Emma, Norman and Ray - Chapter 153: Coward

Date: Oct 4th, 2019

Time: 4:07 h (and 67 layers lmao)

Probably the single panel redraw I'm the most proud of. That Norman panel was beautiful and very poignant at the end of a chapter I adored, so I believe it deserved all the time I've spent working on it. It's far from being perfect - the back of his head is too plain, and the difference between my brushes and the original brushes is pretty visible - but I still like it very much and am extremely attached to it. The horn looks kinda big but I honestly believe it to be more of an issue with the original than with what I had redrawn lol. Funny enough, the whole picture didn't make it to the final edit and had to be trimmed.

#5: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 11th, 2019

Time: 29 mins

I don't have a particular reason for this I just think Emma's hair turned out amazing. It took just half an hour and I didn't even use references like. Wow. @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back

#6: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 17th, 2019

Time: 2:09 h

Sis I love this so freaking much. The shift from redrawing almost exclusively people and clothes to redrawing this mess was so fun and refreshing. Even though it's a mess I think it turned out very clean and overall it looks beautiful? I remember after finishing this I felt so powerful, like now that I had redrawn this thing I would have been able to redraw anything I set my mind on lol.

#7: Emma - Chapter 161: Never Be Alone

Date: Dec 13th, 2019

Time: 57 mins

Again no particular reason except this is a very cute Emma and I think the redraw turned out pretty well. There's this big lock on the left that doesn't make a lot of sense but overall I really like it. Cute Emma is cute, and I love her determination.

#8: Emma - Chapter 166: Going Back Home

Date: Mar 9th, 2020

Time: 3:45 h

I'M SO FREAKING PROUD OF THAT RIFFLE I have not the slightlest idea why this took so damn long BUT I'M SO PROUD OF IT

#9: Norman's birthday edit

Date: Mar 21st, 2020

Time: 1:04 h

This is cool! I didn't know I could manage to draw this, but I did it! The feathers were particularly hard to clean but I think they turned out fine.

#10: Full Score Trio - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 6th, 2020

Time: 2:11 h

I just think they're very pretty? I can't understand if I like Ray's face a lot, or not at all, but I think overall there was a lot to redraw and it turned out pretty cute! Sorry Gillian.

(Also insert pretty much every panel from the chapter 177 Isabella edit– I've spent so many hours on basically every panel there's no way I could choose only one).

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: Emma and Ray - Chapter 140: I’m Here!

Date: Jun 29th, 2019

Complessive time: 2:57+ h

The very first edit I'm actually proud of; I'm really attached to it. It's the first edit I had put all of my effort into, and I remember feeling anxious people would have left it without notes. It kinda feels weird to think about it now, because I really don't care about notes anymore; yet, it somehow makes me happy to think that past-me wasn't let down. Thank you @neverlandstrio for your support, you may not remember but it really meant a lot to me back then! And it still makes me smile. You're the best!!!!!!

#2: Mujika and Queen Legravalima - Chapter 158: The Reason I Was Born

Date: Nov 20th, 2019

Complessive time: 7:12+ hours

This whole edit was an hella wild ride. It's midnight before a school day, when I think: "Mh, it's been a while since I last made an edit, why not make one about Musica and the queen from the last chapter?" And seven hours after this was born. I'm particularly proud of the queen's redraws on the 3rd, 7th and 9th picture (ofc), the areas which have been redrawn are pretty huge yet I think the difference with the original is almost impossible to notice?? @Redrawing skills where did you go please come back (part 2)

#3: Emma - Chapter 174: A New World (part 1)

Date: Apr 12th, 2020

Complessive time: 6:53+ h

I think the panels that were selected work very well together, especially considering the close-up / full body alternation. I love Emma, and I've always been kinda sad noticing that edits that focus one her take the less notes... She deserves all the love. Also, fun fact: for the last but one panel, I had redrawn Emma's whole left ear before remembering she doesn't have one, so I had to redraw the panel from the start. Besides from the error with the ear, the reason why this (and all the others after) took so long is because official panel take way longer to clean.

#4: Isabella and her children - Chapter 177: Mother

Date: May 22nd, 2020

Complessive time: 13:41+ h (ahah.)

Lmao tbh I can't understand how this has so few notes it's like. Technically speaking, probably the best edit I've ever done. I don't even like Isabella that much, I haven't got the slightlest idea why I decided to spend so many hours on this. Anyway, I find the composition (full body on the left / headshots on the right) really good looking in this as well! And I think the redraws turned out fine, especially Isabella's.

#5: The Promised Neverland manga ending countdown→ 1/7 chapters: chapter 1 - Grace Field House

Date: Jun 9th, 2020

Complessive time: 1:59+ h

I don't know how I came up with that idea for the composition but I find it really beautiful??? I think it does a pretty good job conveying the sudden, terrific shift of atmosphere from the first chapter, and I think that sharp bridge is very nice. I'm very, very proud of this.

Honorable mention #1: Full Score Trio - Chapter 154: A Breakthrough

Date: Oct 13th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:44+ h (+ 1:13 h of working on a panel that ultimately didn't make it to the final edit)

A very good chapter, and the edit turned out surprisingly amazing??? All the redraws look great and make it almost impossible to distinguish them from the original; honestly I feel like I'll never be able to redraw so neatly again lol.

Honorable mention #2: Don and Gilda (+ Norman) - Chapter 160: Shackles

Date: Dec 11th, 2019

Complessive time: 3:14+ h

That one is really one of my favorite scenes; I'm telling you peoples, Gilda and Don are a blessing to the earth. I think I've never mentioned it, but Gilda's hair is a nightmare to redraw??? More specifically, it takes me h o u r s to fill the texture without making it look too weird, it's the worst.

Honorable mention #3: Norman and Ray - Chapter 179: Compensation

Date: Jun 6th, 2020

Complessive time: 4:16+ h

I was so glad to finally be able to make a Norman / Ray edit, and it turned out it was just in time before the series' finale. I like how it turned out and I'm pretty satisfied with the redraws (even though my sister helped me with the lineart of some panels - it was exams time and I really couldn't afford to spend more time on it), too bad we didn't have more chapters that focused on the boys. Ray sweetie one day I'll fix your ear it's just today's not that day.

Btw, I justed realized I have never done an Emma / Norman centered edit? I'll have to make one eventually. I remember considering focusing on them alone for the chapter 154 one, but then I thought "even if the manga is gonna ignore Ray, I will chose to do not" lol.

Top 5 long posts:

#1: Reconstruction of how the Grace Field children were settled in the three bedrooms

Date: Aug 28th, 2019

I just had really a lot of fun doing it. I love putting all the little things to their own place, it's so calming to do and that's why I love making this kind of things. Also, loved how @temporoom contributed to the post! It was so nice of them to add what they had noticed to come up with more exact conclusions, that's one of the things I love the most about the internet.

#2: A study of how many times the characters of The Promised Neverland call each other through the first season of the anime

Date: Sep 10th, 2019

I REALLY LOVE IT! I mean it *was* kinda stressing to note everything, but it was very also very satisfying to see everything methodically divided and organized! And it's not just that– it's also the fact that it looks good. That's one post I have fun rereading because it's actually pretty! Also, even though it can be very stressing to learn to use new programs and sites, it's always very satisfying to look at the final result. Again, I really adore compiling these tiny little details! I would love to make more posts of that kind if i had the time.

#3: The Promised Neverland musicals headcanons

Date: Oct 27th, 2019

I mean it's literally. Putting my two favorite fandoms together how could I not love it. This is another one I really enjoy rereading, I find all the musical / character associations so fitting! I really want to make a second part, I hope to find some time to do it.

#4: Considerations on the reward / eventual series' finales (and Emma's sacrifice)

Date: May 7th, 2020

It's always nice to put down all your thoughts regarding a particular matter. It can take a lot of time (at least for me it does because... I need time to think about things), but it's so satisfying to see all of them there once you're done. Bonus points when, like in this case, it was something asked by someone else because “Wow! Somebody wants to hear my opinion on this subject! I'm flattered (◍•��•◍)”

#5: Some other considerations on the series' finale and Emma sacrificing herself

Date: Jun 13th, 2020

Pretty much the same as above. It's like some kind of clarity when the post is done and signed. Another fun fact, I had to censore the post a lot; the first version was extremely sharp and harsh, but I believe it's right to express your opinions calmly and politely.

Bonus: A thread of what the tpn characters would wear at the Oscars

Date: Feb 9th, 2020

Imagining all the children in those pretty dresses makes me so incredibly happy (╥﹏╥) I go back to look at that post a lot. I really love red carpets, I love looking at pretty dresses!!!!!

Lmao it's so funny how the post of mine I like the most are also the ones with the less notes

Anyway this was just a personal report! You don't have to read it all (or any of it actually). But it was indeed fun making it! Here's to many more months in the fandom!!!

#This was supposed to be posted on July 13th as one year and one month since I made the blog #but Tumblr decided to be a jerk and deleted all of it 😊#So here we are #tpn #tpn manga spoilers #long post #Again this is just a personal report don't stress over reading all of it #But it was fun to make!#To the people I tagged: sorry for tagging you in this long post but also it would have felt weird not to do so? I hope you don't mind #It felt like... Giving credits foe something you've done y'know

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silverwhiteraven · 5 years ago

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Borne of the Stars - Chapter 12 - An MLB Kryptonian AU

Tag List: @eve-valution @weird-pale-blonde-person @kris-pines04 @soulmate-game @abrx2002 @amayakans @vixen-uchiha @heldtogetherbysafetypins @raisuke06 @dorkus-minimus @mopester-is-here @moonlightstar64 @annabellabrookes @toodaloo-kangaroo @the-navistar-carol @elspethshadow @chocolatecatstheron @ivymala07 @maribat-is-lifeblood

[ Summary: Author celebrates her Birthday by posting a chapter before the day is up. Kara meets her Kwami and circumvents her grounding. ]

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 11 ] [ Chapter 13 ]

Kara was shocked, sure, but not taken completely by surprise. She spent enough time around Zee Zatara, Zatanna, to know what something being magically conjured into existence looks like. That didn’t stop her from taking a step back though; she knew she wasn't invulnerable to magic, and not knowing what was appearing called for a level of caution.

Her eyes went wide and the hand that had tightened into an instinctive fist went slack as the light faded and the form finished taking shape in the open air. The other hand around the open box tightened as she stared at the creature, grounding and preventing her next instinctual reaction at the sight: a soft squeal of aww.

She clamped her jaw shut tight to further prevent the sound as the little purple-tinged black feline opened apple green eyes and a fanged cheshire grin spreading and opening to form words.

“Well well well, what do we have here? Sure, I expected someone different than usual, but this takes the fondue!” He exclaimed then circled Kara, and she kept still as her eyes followed the floating creatures movements.

“What the-!” She couldn't help gasping after he disappeared behind her in another of his circles and felt the faintest of feelings in her chest for only a moment, like a string being pulled through from the back to the front, before he emerged in front of her. Out of the spot she had apparently felt him going through her. “Not cool! Don’t do that!”

“Fine, fine,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “but now I know all I need to. This is going to be fun,” and the grin returned, almost feral now alongside the previous mischievousness.

Kara glared in suspicion at the little creature, finally setting aside her inner feeling of ‘aww, so cute’ to focus on the problem at hand. In hand? She lifted the box back up and looked at the black ring inside, then back to the magical feline. “What do you mean, fun? What do you know?”

The creature chuckled, “You aren't human; you may look like it on the outside, but the inside tells a different story.”

She shuddered at realizing what he had been doing when going through her chest cavity. “Ew, yuck, gross, no, do not go checking things like that- Wait- So you know? You can tell?”

“Obviously,” he drawled before looking away without explaining and started to zip around the semi-messy room like a hyper and curious cat. “Kid, you don’t happen to have any cheese, do you? Just a bite is fine; I hate to say it, but as much as I’d love to sit down and eat a whole wheel, I actually seem to be looking forward to transforming for once. Seeing what you can do with my help should be interesting!”

“And what exactly can you do, uh-?” Her skepticism fell flat when she realized she didn't know his name. She followed after the tiny creature as it left the bedroom and watched him sniff out the mini-fridge set up next to the television of the suite’s living room. He popped the door open with a cry of victory and dove in, coming back out with her string cheese and taking a bite out of it.

“Call me Plagg, Kwami of Destruction, source of power for the Black Cat Miraculous you’re holding.” He seemed to raise an eyebrow at Kara as she looked down at the ring in the box, brushing a finger over the apple green paw print on the center. “Well? Put it on already!”

She hesitantly took the ring from the box, tossing the empty container to the side. Another glance at the waiting Kwami and she slid it on. Her eyes went wide as the ring turned a weathered gold, the shape turning to that of a signet ring. The shape of the seal was close to that of the one her and her cousin both wore as heroes: the Crest for the House of El. It was still different, though: not the usual stylized S, but rather, now the two ends of the S were reconnected into the original sideways infinity symbol. The S itself was still the prominent, though.

Kara looks back at Plagg and the smug look he wore. “Neat, huh?”

“Yeah…” She hesitates before continuing to ask her new question. “What, exactly, is a Kwami?”

“Oh you know, just like any old gods, deities, incarnations and embodiments; whatever you want to compare us to. Basically forces of nature, concepts, and magic that, when tired to Miraculous, can have our powers channeled through other beings to do good. Well, good is supposed to be what we’re used for,” he adds with a glare out the window to the glowing streets.

“And that?” she wonders, noticing his stare.

“Yep, caused by the powers of one. You and the Ladybug Wielder are being called in to help recover one that's been used for evil. The Miraculous and the Kwami with it basically sent out a distress call when they were commanded to go against what we’re meant for.”

Plagg looked sad as he said it, and Kara couldn't help but reach out in sympathy and give him a gentle pat on the head between the ears. It shook him out of it and he focused back on her.

“Say ‘Plagg, Transform Me’ to pull me into the ring and suit up. The faster we get this over with, the sooner I can find myself a better cheese selection!”

“Wait, you said Ladybug Wielder, I get a partner?” She wasn't confused by it, having partners was normal for her, but the superhero in her wanted to make sure she didn't make a big mistake in misidentifying an ally.

“Yeah,” the Kwami confirmed, “the Creation to my Destruction, the symbol of Good Luck to my symbol of Bad Luck. The Ladybug to your Black Cat is out there and you two should be meeting each other soon, preferably before anything else so you can start working together.”

“How will I know who they are? Will they be easy to spot?”

Plagg cackled like a friend had just whispered an inside joke into his ear. “Oh yeah, very spottable.”

She raised a skeptical brow before shrugging it off. Instead of dwelling, she grinned and looked back out towards the chaos outside. Feeling ready, she called as instructed, “Plagg, Transform Me!”

The black, green, and white magic washed over her effortlessly, and just like other times friendly magic had been used on her, she felt almost nothing at all except the new weight of her costume settling itself. She did note her center of gravity had shifted, and wondered about the physical changes she may have gotten as well. One presented itself as she glanced through the doors to her bedroom, at her reflection in the full length mirror, and instead of a pleased and satisfied hum, there was a purr in its place.

Her new outfit really was satisfying to her tastes. It had an overall military uniform look to it with a formal flare. The top was mainly black and asymmetrical, a line of silver buttons going down one side, the collar straight with a line of green all around the edges. The sleeves ended in long, folded back cuffs at the wrists, also adorned with green trim and silver clasps. Clawed black gloves covered her hands, another tripping of green wrapping around her wrists. The black pants were complying to the formal look, complete with neat creases down the centers, but still had functionality with cargo-style pockets on the thighs. The shoes were heavy black combat boots, laced with overlapping green and silver ties. A sash wrapped around her waist, looking black but shimmered green underneath; one end fell loose behind her, swaying like a tail of its own accord; a silver baton stuck out where it was all tied together. The mask over her eyes, comfortable despite not being used to one, matched the tail in color: black with an underlying green sheen, except for the solid black that fell from her eyes like the tear marks of a cheetah. The feline ears atop her head, nestled into a new side swept undercut style, were solid black but for the green edging. The acidic green slit eyes were unsettling at first glance, but they pupils went wide and outright dorky as she looked herself over.

Her favorite part, however, had to be the cape. It was a one shoulder cape, draped over one arm in neat folds, the opposite side longer than the other as it fell behind her. The exposed shoulder had part of the cape attached to it, held by a black clasp with a silver crescent, but revealed a triple layer of silver shoulder plating. The opposite shoulder with the cape draped over it had a larger silver clasp holding it in place, but it was more like an emblem with its large black crescent moon encasing a green paw print. A few green straps held the shoulder pieces in place, from across her shoulders and down and around her torso.

“I’ll need a new name with the new look,” she muses. Her thoughts run quickly over far too many cliche names and ones already taken, before settling on one.

“Oncilla.”

She turns away from the mirror and laughs to herself, “I have never been this happy to get around a grounding so easily,” before going straight to the balcony doors, throwing them open, and launching herself into the open air with a whooping holler, more than happy to be back in the game.

#Borne of the Stars #maribat #karanette #miraculous ladybug #crossover AU #kara danvers #plagg #dc super hero girls

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zaymadden-author · 4 years ago

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Written by ZAY MADDEN

“Man, this is not how Saturday nights are supposed to go.” With all the shit going on in the world, I’ve been house-bound for a minute, and at this point I’m all TikTok’d out. A couple of my boys and my cousin Terrell pulled up on me around 8 for a couple rounds of 2K 🎮, but you know how Mississippi weather is. Mother Nature randomly decided to do her dirty work and had them staying later than planned, but once the sky stopped roaring, I sent my boys home. It was time for a night cap.

I trailed them outside to make sure they were all gone, and once the last car looped around my driveway, I could finally sit on my porch and think. I had my D’USSÈ 🥃 in one hand and my phone in another, scrolling through my thread of texts to see which girl I could get to bless my night; it was part of my weekend ritual. I had a rule though: never start at the top because most recent pussy tends to be not as interesting unless she really got that 🍑💦 if you know what I’m saying.

So, last I checked, Keisha wit the plump ass moved to Florida, which is unfortunate for me. She had one hell of a mouth piece in bed but never ran her mouth in the streets. I could respect that and that’s why I keep her on standby.

The next on my list, Monica, was on the classy end of the spectrum, but it was like rolling dice with her ass. Most of the time she waits until 7 am to reply. Her brain was still accustomed to her school schedule and she had a day job too, so I respected that. However, it sucked for me though cuz Monica was bad af from head to toe and really would’ve gave me a night to remember. Shit, I still reminisce about our last rendezvous. She had pretty feet and plump lips that felt like pillows with each kiss. And I know it’s weird, but I think it’s a turn on whenever I see her with those scrubs on. It’s just something about a hard-working black woman. (Damn smh.) I decided not even bother her this late.

So I kept scrolling up right, slowly feeling my luck build up, when my phone all of a sudden ding’d. My heart started thumping against my rib cage, and the corners of my mouth shot up. I couldn’t wait to see who this could be.

(I turn my notification banners off for good reason.)

Could it be Ashley? (The one that stayed wayyy out in Clinton). She usually texts when she wants some dick but it takes her forever to get to my place in Madison.

I put my search on pause and immediately made my way to the top to see who it could be. And would you believe it? “She always does this shit bruh. Like fr!”

Lo and fucking behold:

[MOM: Can you take your grandma to the store in the morning? I forgot to tell you earlier. Phone died.]

MAN 😤!! I almost summoned the spirit of Brady and launched $999 worth of iPhone in the damn pond. It’s 12:02 at night. She could’ve just waited until daylight resumed before bothering me with this!

I know that’s my heart and soul, but grandma is not the type of woman I want on my mind right now. But I replied “ok” to avoid any further communication at this hour.

I kept scrolling through my digital black book and I contemplated, but immediately dismissed, the idea of calling Alisha over. She said I be hurting her so she only wanna do oral. “Naw. I’ll pass. I’m good on that tonight.” Nobody else seemed worthy of hitting up at the time, at least this time of night, so I head inside. I locked the door behind me and made my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I spritzed a little water on my head and brushed my waves into submission before securing it with my DuRag. Staring at this thick-browed, handsome, brown skinned fellow in the mirror, I began to question whether I still had it. “I am only 23 so that’s nowhere near the ‘falling off’ age,” I say to myself. I guess with me working day and night, I didn’t have time to pull ‘em like I used to.

So, I went and plopped on my bed, face towards the ceiling, contemplating my future, when I heard the sound of rocks sloshing under tires. The sound slowly magnified, and to myself I’m thinking that maybe one of my homeboys forgot something in my house. A barcode-like shadow cast on my wall as the luminance of headlights beamed through my blinds. I almost walked to the door empty handed, but the detective Stabler in me wasn’t taking any chances. So, I grabbed my piece in my night stand and asserted my second amendment rights. Tip-toe after tip-toe I was almost to the door when I heard the engine stop. A few seconds later there was this rhythmic chiming noise echoing through the walls. I crept to the front window stealthily, and peeked out the blinds. I could recognize the vehicle but I had to be sure it was who I thought it was, so I flicked on the second outdoor light.

All I saw was curly tresses flowing through the window of a pink Lexus.

“Aaliyah?” ..... “but how did she?”

With a mixture of anxiety and excitement, I snatched open the front door 🚪 to greet her. And when I saw her strut up the walkway with a touch of flair, a second emotion arose: confusion. How did she know I was alone? How did she know there wasn’t another girl here? It’s been two years and I still can’t figure out how this girl knows me so well and I think that’s why she intrigued me so much. It also scared me a little bit too. I usually don’t let a girl come over unannounced.

She would’ve been the first girl I tried to text, but last I checked she was in New York on business.

I shoot commercials for a living and I did one for her boutique. That’s how we came across each other.

But she’s here now so who cares that she popped up. (Maybe that’s just my dick talking 🤷🏾‍♂️... idk)

She had two Raising Cane’s bags, which I’m guessing that, during this pandemic, was the only thing she could come across at this time a night. Everything else was closed, even Taco Bell.

She let out a soft “Hey” as she bat her lashes and I quickly shut the gap in my mouth.

“What’s up?” I then responded.

And for a moment our eyes did a tango before she broke the silence.

“Can I come in? It’s kinda hot out here. ”

[And she wasn’t lying about that.]

We suddenly smiled at each other (each clipped with a note of sensuality), and with a nonverbal response, I helped her carry the drinks in and held open the door, catching a strange whiff of fried chicken and some floral fragrance as she walked by. I sucked my bottom lip as she sashayed towards my couch; those long legs accented by her gold trimmed pumps.

With a quick, smooth swivel of her body, she had positioned herself towards me, carrying a whole conversation with her eyes.

After locking my door I suddenly needed to adjust my boxer briefs. Gazing at those smooth brown legs made me graduate from flaccid to half chub, but my need to feast was urgent. My stomach was growling like a mf.

So I sit down to eat, right. And we get to chatting about her trip to NY ✈️ and how she’s been so stressed out with trying to open up a store out there. The whole time she’s going on and on about her tired body and her hectic work schedule, I’m reading in between the lines. She didn’t come here looking like that just to talk about work.

Aaliyah has never been one to admit what she wants from me, she just drops hints and expects you to go fishing for answers.

After smashing half my chicken box though, she got up like she had no time to waste. With a flick of her ankles she had both shoes flying across the floor. She took one last glance at me before leading the way to my bedroom, first slipping her skirt off in the living room and her shirt slowly draped from her body as she made her way down the hall. To keep up the tempo, I removed whatever she did, and by the time we made it to my room it was nothing but birthday suits.

I was ready for penetration at the door, but baby girl had other plans. She made me sit on the love seat by my window as she put on a show for me. It was an immediate game of teasing and temptation as she watched me slowly stroke my dick to every scene of her performance. First it was the leg play, then the breast tease, and then my favorite of all... something she knows gets me hard as steel.... the pussy play.

I love it when she bends open her thighs and plays with the most anticipated part of her body. Her smooth, brown sugar skin and nude polished nails drew an excellent contrast to that sweet, bright pink center. And she knew I wanted it too. She also knows how much I brag about how tight she is, so she takes her two fingers and spreads it open in full view for me. It was one thing for me to speculate, but when she slid one finger in and out for me, it was proof enough that her coochie still had that snap-back action.

I couldn’t take it anymore. With my dick now towering from my hand, I made my way over to her. She was now in submission as I asserted myself over her, so I pulled her to the the edge of the bed to get ready for my part. I looked down at myself, the tip of my dick head now glistening with anticipation, and said to her “I want you.”

And in the blink of an eye I was down on my knees and I had her hips cradled in my arms; my tongue digging into the flesh of her thigh, roughly gasping for air as I was too focused to remember breathing. With a slow dance of kissing and tongue-groping, I lead a trail up and down her thighs until I heard her say, “OMG.... Sean!”

I swear I felt a drop of pre-cum stream down to my ankle as I made my way to her hot zone 👅 . Like a rollercoaster, I had my tongue going round and round, remembering all the pressure points that made her thrust her pelvis into my face. I was in full control now, and no matter how hard she gripped the sheets, there was no escaping my vice grip.

My tongue was putting in overtime, and right before my clock struck 1:00 🕐 , I felt her first nut. We both laughed (our goofy asses) to try and cut down on all that sexual tension.

I reared my head to get a good look at her sex face, my goatee now dripping in her juices, and I gave her a look that let her know I was ready for that action. I sprinted like hell to my night stand to grab me a “rain coat,” acting as if my dinner was about to get cold or something.

I slid that mf on so quick. I’d been waiting for this all night. Pussy in my mouth was one thing, but BEING in it... whew 😌.

I looked at her again before I engaged in our post-foreplay session. I already had my 🍆💦 on the edge ready for the deep dive. We shared a gaze as I slowly began to make my way inside. She had that “keep going” look on her face, but it was only so long that she could keep her composure. After the head made its way in, baby girl’s eyes began to sync with my slow strokes. They rolled as my hips began to roll, and before she knew it, her neck gave out and she rested her head. I finessed my hips into a slow roll as I reached down and sucked on her neck. Her walls began to relax as her pussy gradually began to invite me in. I kept piping her down, constantly going deeper until her belly felt full. And by then, I knew I had her.

I secured her backside with my arms, careful not to smother her precious body, as she demanded I up the pace. To keep up the demand, I got more comfortable on the bed before I shifted into overdrive. “Nice Sean” was gone and “ZADDY Sean” was on the scene.

I was working that pussy like I was running track, and before long, she had thought twice about what she asked for. She thought she was slick, inching her body away like I didn’t notice. But guess what, I inched right along with her ass. She had a long ways to go on my California King before she could escape this dick.

At this point, her facial expressions were no longer inaudible. She was squeezing out “oooo’s” and “ahhhhh’s” between every attempt to catch her breath.

“Wait baby... ooooooooo wait.” She pleaded, but mercy was no longer on the table. I kept going until her juices soaked my inner thigh.

“OMG Sean!” She utters the mantra again. But this time I give in to her cries. Hell, I needed to catch my breath too. Shit! 🥵

I rolled over for a brief intermission, slowly creeping my way to the top of the bed near my pillow. She followed. We rested for a good little minute, kissing on each other as the clock kept ticking, but I was mentally preparing for the second round. It was late at night so I had only about two good positions left in me.

She took a bathroom break before we resumed.

I had decided it was her turn, so I stayed where I was and used my finger to signal her to come near when she walked back in the room. So, she took a domineering stance right before she climbed into bed and cat walked towards me. Titties just bouncing everywhere. Curls flowing effortlessly in the breeze of my ceiling fan. She knew what she was doing and she got my lil man right back up. ☝🏾

She leaned towards me for a kiss as she saddled my waist, slow grinding to drum up more anticipation. I slapped my meat against her ass cuz I wanted her to stop playing these games. Hell, my dick was damn near shivering in the wind now.

But she took the hint and began to guide it back in. This time I rolled MY eyes as her warm goodies began to cradle me inside. She placed her hands on my chest and made her first move upward, then she put her hips in reverse. She put this same two-step on repeat, bouncing up and down on my shit, going all the way to the base. I’m talking balls deep. With this kinda grip, my dick was on the verge of spittin’ already, but I held back my nut. “This ain’t how I wanna to go out”

I was diggin’ this lil rodeo vibe she had going on, but the more her pussy lips clapped down on me, the more I started edging. I let her take control for a minute, but that minute quickly turned into a second as her hip grinding began to slow down. The batteries in that energizer bunny were at 20%... but thats what Zaddy Sean is here for. 😏

Right as she was on her way up, I stopped her and I kept her right in that position, pounding that 🎂 until all I heard was Mac n cheese stirring.

But shit, at this point it was time to make that Mac n cheese creamy. I got prepared for the finale as we moved into sex position #95.

I had her face on the pillow and I made her spread them cheeks before I dove in back. And for some reason, this position always gets me. Idk if it’s the fluffiness of the ass that gets my rocks off or the fact that the thigh clenching makes everything feel tighter. Who knows. But I didn’t have time to contemplate that.

With a few more strokes I was about to fuckin explode. I grabbed her extra tight, squeezing them titties and pushing extra deep until her moans went from tenor to soprano.

“Only a few more seconds baby,” I said in my head.. “just a few more seconds.”

I put a flex in my hips when I felt that good moment coming, and on my last stroke of edging, when I hit her spot, she squeezed her cheeks extra tight... and that was the extra umph that I needed to let loose.

I wanted to paint her back 💦 but the hooded Kermit in me said “naw, leave that shit in big dawg.” 😏

So, I hit my last pumps like a New Years countdown. 5... 4... 3.... 2... making sure my last hit was the strongest. I held it there as my body spasmed and my perineum pulsated, leaving me temporarily paralytic.

Cuz that’s what good pussy will do to ya.

I took a second to savor the moment because my horny-ness hadn’t completely subsided yet. By the time I was ready to pull out, my jimmy was slowly becoming soft & squishy again.

With the head still sensitive, I slowly abort, careful to keep the condom in tact. She’s about as sleepy as I am now, and as I withdrew, she stole a peek of me staring at all the nut weighing down the tip of my condom.

It was mutually understood that we were both tapping out, but we mustered up enough energy to quickly shower up. The whole time in the shower I’m still mesmerized by her beauty, all horny-ness aside.

We towel off in about ten minutes and return to the room before I quickly throw some fresh sheets on my bed.

She basically invited herself to spend the night and who was I to say “no” to her. Cute ass. She knew she was my Achilles heel. So, as we lay in our resting position before dozing off, the question circled back around in my head...

How the hell did she know I was alone? 🤔

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cometorub · 5 years ago

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(SUB 10) Danielle answering: -> this survey ❤️

Next post - 03/05/20 at 1am GMT - 8pm EDT

1. What is your name?

Danielle

2. Age, and where are you from?

23 and from Colorado, USA

3. What’s your sexual orientation?

4. Your pubic hair?

Trimmed

5. Are you virgin?

Nope

6. How old were you when you first masturbated?

7. How did you discover masturbation?

Friend told me about it

8. How old were you when you had your first orgasm?

9. Can you tell us more about your first orgasm? How did it happen?

I let my fingers do the walking...

10. How often do you masturbate?

Like twice a week maybe

11. When was the last time you masturbated?

Thursday

12. Do you masturbate to any stimulus?

Sometime, chat room like discord or others, gifs or sometimes pornhub

13. What do you think about?

Girls

14. What’s the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?

Licking a pussy

15. Have you ever walked in on or caught someone masturbating? (If yes, please tell us a little more about it)

Nope

Have someone ever walked in and caught you masturbating? (If yes, please tell us a little more about it)

My mom walked in on my. I was so engrossed with my touching and feeling that I didn’t hear her call me. She walked in and I had two fingers buried, playing with my breasts with the other hand. She yelled my name. I came down fast. Soooo embarrassed.

17. Have you ever had cyber sex?

Yeah

18. Have you ever had phone sex?

Yes

19. Have you ever had a wet dream?

Sometimes

20. What’s your favorite method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)

Hands and toys

21. Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?

Loud

22. Do you ever masturbate in pjs? If so what type and how?

My pjs are a long t shirt and and panties, sometimes shorts. I use my fingers

23. Do you ever touch any other part of your body whilst you masturbate?

Yeah, my breast and ass

24. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?

25. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?

26. Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?

Nope

27. Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?

28. Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)

29. Do you enjoy watching others masturbate?

Yes only girls

30. Do you enjoy being watched while masturbating?

Yesss

31. Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?

Playing with a girl

32. Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?

Oh yes

33. Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?

Gf and other girl friends we talk about it

34. Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?

Yes, at her apartment

35. What’s your most embarrassing masturbation story?

I listed it about about my mother walking in on me

36. What’s your funniest masturbation story?

I don’t have one...

38. Have you ever masturbated in unique or strange places?

I have masturbated in a movie theatre

39. Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?

I don’t think so

40. Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?

Depends on my mood. Sometimes it’s easy. Others times I really have to work for it.

41. What’s the easiest way for you to get off?

My clit

42. Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)

Nope all work pretty good

43. Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)

I did. Once with a vibrator in my ass

44. Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?

Nope

45. Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?

Yes my fingers I like to taste myself

46. Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)

Oh yeah it’s yummy!

47. What position do you typically masturbate in?

Lay on my back

48. How do you react when you orgasm, arch your back, pull faces? Etc

Arch back, tremble, scream, squirm, quiver

49. Describe how an orgasm feels to you when you cum? If possible

OMG it my whole body. Warmth, tingles, electricity sooo intense

50. Describe a typical masturbation session.

Start with my breasts and move to my pussy. I tease the clit for a while before I penetrate myself. Usually start with fingers. Once I am fairly wet I move to toys.

51. How long do you usually last?

30 - 60 minutes

52. What’s the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?

30 seconds cos I was super horny

53. What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?

2 hours

54. What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?

Hehe I think 8 is my record

55. How wet do you get? Do you leak fluids when you orgasm? (If yes, please describe)

Depends on my orgasm, sometimes I get super wet, other time only a little. I have never squirted.

56. If you are older than 35, how has masturbation changed for you over the years?

N/A

57. Do you want to tell us something more about your masturbation experiences?

Nope

58. Are you sexually aroused taking this survey?

A little

59. Are you going to masturbate tonight after taking this survey?

Maybe this afternoon

Thank you so much for your answers! ❤

You’re a female, go take part? -> click here

If you want me to add some more questions feel free to message me and make sure to reblog this. Thank you.

We want to know more about the way our female followers masturbate.

You can answer as many questions as you want. I’d love to hear from you!

Here’s the survey if you wish to share your answers on how you do it —> click here ❤️

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callunavulgari · 5 years ago

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TOP 25 FICS OF 2019

1. these roads will take you into your own country by @notbecauseofvictories | American Gods | Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney | WIP | 33k

Here’s a joke for you: a Muslim, a zombie, and a leprechaun walk into a bar in Misery, Indiana. No one stares, because no one in the puckered, shitty asshole of Misery, Indiana gives a fuck. The Colts are playing.

Heather Says: So. It’s funny that another of @notbecauseofvictories‘s stories is at the top of my list again this year. Keep in mind this list is sorted by when the fic was read rather than favorites (because that would get real complicated real quick). Clearly there must be something about January. There’s just something about the writing that is easy to slip into, be it a Star Wars fic or a Labyrinth fic or even a fic about Johnny and the Devil. This was lovely and I can’t wait until it’s finished.

2. eighteen wheels on an uphill climb by @honkforhankcon | Detroit: Become Human | Hank/Connor | 91k

Hank is going to die. He’s going to die right here in Kentucky, 53 years old, halfway to broke, and tragically sober. Survived only by a nine-year-old St. Bernard and the 31-year-old twink who delivered the fatal blow.

Heather Says: I don’t think that this is the first DBH fic that I sought out after beating the game, but it is the first that I loved enough to make it to this list. I didn’t think that I would go for a modern au for this fandom, certainly not a modern au wihere Hank is a truck driver and Connor is a sex worker (albeit briefly?) but here I am.

3. Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk | Detroit: Become Human | RK900/Gavin Reed | 41k

After the android uprising, Connor becomes a permanent fixture in the DPD. That’s fine. Gavin can accept that. The dipshit’s more human than he used to be, and a decent detective to boot. Gavin can deal with him being around. What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; two inches taller, blue-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.

Heather Says: I also never thought that I’d like a fic with Gavin in it. But I got curious about all the Reed900, and well, this fic really won me over. The writing is fantastic, and it softens Gavin while still keeping him believable. Also, well, I like the enemies to lovers thing.

4. Almost Cool by @blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 30k

While filming the Yuma Territorial Prison episode, Shane gets bitten by what he thinks is a bat. Spoiler alert: it's not.

Heather Says: This is actually the first thing that I read for this fandom. In fact, this is the fic that got me into Buzzfeed Unsolved in the first place. I’d seen a lot of art and gifs and fics pass my way, but I was only ever slightly interested in what I saw until this fic came through my inbox and piqued my curiosity.

5. Pride by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne/Cersei | 22k

Jaime didn’t understand why Cersei suddenly insisted on trimming his hair and shaving his beard, but he also didn’t care to fight her on it, even though he’d just as soon have kept the beard: it was bitterly cold in the small tower room with its arrow-slits.

Heather Says: Wowza. This fic was intense. I’ve always loved Jaime and Brienne. I’ve loved them since the second book, which was read at least a few years before I started loving them in the show. Adding Cersei to their dynamic would have probably been almost impossible to pull off if it was anyone else, but @astolat lives to surpass my expectations.

6. Skin and Scales by Ernmark | The Penumbra Podcast | Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla | 18k

The man glares, and this time, Damien is certain it isn’t a trick of the light: those eyes are violet as amethyst. He wears disdain like a second skin–- or, perhaps, like the scales that he is missing. “Lord Arum?”

Heather Says: I was one of those people who skipped through all of the Second Citadel episodes during my first listen through of Penumbra. The stories were good, but the pull of Juno was too great. A couple months after I finished, I went back and listened to everything I didn’t. And let me tell you. Lizard monster. Honorable knight. Bookish girlfriend. Poly. It hit every single button I had and then some. This fic really hit the spot when I ran out of story.

7. someone you like by caela | She-Ra | Adora/Catra | 5k

catwithabat u think ur so hipster but u just look like a lesbian 27m she_ra @catwithabat bc… i’m a lesbian. lmao 5m

Heather Says: Noooot usually a big fan of high school fics. Namely because I’m not in high school anymore and well, after you read so many in your teenage years they sort of lose their luster. This one was phenomenal enough to change my mind.

8. Sands of Time by @tirsynni | Legend of Zelda | Ganondorf/Link | WIP | 98k

Link awakens in the desert with no idea how he got there, to encounter his worst enemy...except it was the King of the Gerudo, not the King of Evil, he faced.

Heather Says: I have seen a lot of really good Link/Ganondorf art over the years, but never really stumbled across a fic that didn’t have judicious amount of non-con involved. But the Breath of the Wild 2 trailer happened, and everybody started drawing really pretty art, so I went looking. And lo and behold, @tirsynni saved the day with this gorgeous time travel/fix-it fic.

9. killed with kindness by veterization | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 52k

Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend. (Or: the one where the Phantom Thieves decide to know thy enemy, befriend thy enemy, love thy enemy, crush on thy enemy).

Heather Says: I’ve read a couple of veterization’s fics over the years, and to date they have never disappointed me. They published this in June, and I think I clicked on it mostly because I was bored and hadn’t read any good P5 fic yet. This was basically just what the doctor ordered, and I was really happy to find something where Akechi’s story went ever so slightly different.

10. paper thin by @ebonybow | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k

Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

Heather Says: So I went into this one knowing very little about how Sara fit into things. I didn’t know she was Shane’s girlfriend. I’d never even seen her, but I clicked because I like poly and I trust the author. I was 100% not disappointed. There’s also another fic with a very similar dynamic here, which is also aces.

11. damn.nation, now available on itunes by @kaikamahine | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 11k

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Heather Says: Elizabeth may have only written one fic this year, but she made it a damn good one. I’ve always loved her OCs especially, so I was pretty tickled that this is 10k+ of outsider pov. Also, demons! Demons are great! This demon is great! I want like 9 seasons and a movie about Amphora, just saying.

12. The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Jon/Sansa/Daenarys | 60k

When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Heather Says: What do you mean season 8 didn’t exist and the show totally ended with a three way relationship between the two most powerful women in Westeros and Jon Snow? Never been a big fan of Jon/Sansa before this, but this is another of those writers that I would literally trust if they wrote a fic about a fork and a spoon.

13. never tell me the odds by @wildehacked | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 9k

“I tried Star Wars," he says, adjusting the phone under his neck, "and it was way underwhelming.”

A shaky breath from her end. “Well, where did you start?”

Heather Says: I don’t remember which of @wildehacked‘s fandoms I started reading first. Most recently it’s been The Magnus Archives (more on this later). The point is, they’d written Wolf 359 fic and it had Hera and Eiffel and it was literally everything that I’ve been looking for since the series ended.

14. Find Me Somebody by raiining | Good Omens | Warlock/Adam Young | 11k

“You left me,” he said. “You both left me, for him. And I can’t even blame you, because I’d have left me for him too.”

Heather Says: There was an Art. The art was lovely. So I went looking, because that’s what I do when faced with beautiful art depicting a rare pairing. And I found the holy grail. Like, possibly my favorite Good Omens fic? Ever?

15. flirting with fire by @brawlite | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | WIP | 7k

Steve's a cop, Billy's a firefighter. It's not a grudge, it's just a regular old small town rivalry.

Heather Says: Okay so brawlite has written a lot of great stuff this year (more on that later), but I read this in bed at the beach house this August while I was reeling from both a horrible sunburn and like seven hours of mild to moderate day-drinking while everyone else was still throwing back shots right outside my bedroom door. Jaws was playing on the tv and I wasn’t even paying attention to it, because THIS. Long story short, I’ve been thirsty for more ever since.

16. gold, when you find me by mmtion | The Flash | Iris/Barry | 53k

It's not that Iris hates The Flash, per say - more that she hates writing about The Streak in a weekly, pun-heavy comic based on The Flash.

Heather Says: I never would have thought that a canon pairing would make it to my Top 25 list, but here we are. I like Iris/Barry a lot better when they don’t grow up together and spend a lot of time playing the Superman game, apparently. Also, this was really well-written, and sexual tension has never been something I’ve felt from Barry and Iris, but I felt it in this fic. Just. Damn.

17. never gets old by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger| Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 78k

Falling in love with a cam boy named KingSteve isn't the smartest thing Billy Hargrove has ever done, nor is it the most healthy -- but the good choice is rarely ever the fun choice, and Billy is all about living life fast and loose.

Heather Says: Told you I’d come back to it. brawlite and toastranger are a fantastic team. last year was cherry pie and under the covers, this year it’s camboys and cop/firefighter dynamics. Also, I have a really strange fascination with fics where a character has an instragram. It’s really, incredibly strange. Also also, every time I see this fic title I get that one Discovery Channel song stuck in my head. And no, it probably isn’t the one you’re thinking.

18. ways to save the world by @wildehacked | The Magnus Archives | Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims | 19k

“I left you,” Martin says softly.

Heather Says: And we’re back at wildehacked too! The Magnus Archives was a thing that happened to me. This is I think the first fic I read for it while listening, and it was so very close to what we got in canon. I think when it comes down to it though, I still prefer this fic, even if the ending of this season was pretty fantastic.

19. The Denial Twist by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 35k

“This is kind of surreal,” Shane says, taking a sip of his tea. It’s piping hot and delicious, except it tastes like hot chocolate and not like tea at all. “Sort of—Wonka-esque, right? Or Alice in Wonderland.”

Heather Says: While the vampire one is my favorite both because it is excellent and because it was my first, this one was bizarre and sexy and also I read it like only a month or so ago! The dancing was my favorite part, but having dreams to work with made this story fantastically interesting and I loved every second of it.

20. silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 4k

The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. There were a number of them, all the same shade, following one after the other around her left wrist. They were pale as old scars, though they felt no different from the rest of her skin, and her mother claimed that Miryem had been born with them.

Heather Says: I really like soulmate aus. There’s so many different ways to twist them and the way they can sometimes change the dynamic entirely and other times not change them at all is just fascinating. I’ve been hoping there would be more Spinning Silver content on ao3 and running into this while I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for yuletide was a real treat.

21. you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k

Costis has a particularly enlightening evening. (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

Heather Says: I accidentally re-read the King of Attolia and it made me consider ships I had perhaps not previously considered. This was really lovely and just steamy enough.

22. something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 21k

It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Heather Says: I want to only type the words AGONIZED NOISES to describe this fic because that’s basically my headspace when I get 21k of a shiny new ot3, but I mean. Really. This is super good and maybe my favorite yet? Why didn’t I start reading this fandom when I first read the books?

23. Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k

The dragon chooses, Mark knows that as well as any boy born in a weyr. He'd never considered what that would mean if the dragon picked someone you hated. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

Heather Says: This should actually be somewhere back in March, but I apparently closed out of the tab at some point. I never really got into Pern much. I have the first three books, but got most of the way through the first one a long time ago and then never picked it back up. I didn’t think I would like this, mostly because of the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the books, but was surprised to find that I absolutely loved it.

24. Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | Lila/Kell/Holland | 9k

Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

Heather Says: I love the new things I’ve discovered during my yuletide trompings. I don’t think I ever actually considered this pairing when I first read the books, but I am just so enamored with the idea of the three of them together. Like, why did I not realize that potential back then? This was lovely, and I loved it, and I want so much more out of this pairing than what ao3 has to offer me.

25. Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Gen & Costis | 13k

Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

Heather Says: Technically this shouldn’t be on here because I only read it today, but it was really wonderful and so canon typical. Gen and Costis were perfect in it, Irene was perfect in it. Everyone was perfect and nothing hurts.

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basketofverbiage · 5 years ago

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Candy and Tradition

So, I decided to challenge myself to write and post 25 drabbles between now and Christmas. Here is the first (also, all the recipes listed are real things my family makes, so if you are curious about them, let me know and I can post some of them)!

For 90% of the year, Y/n was perfectly happy with her life in Seoul. While she did get a little bit homesick from time to time, her beautiful boyfriends made everything better on those days. Namjoon and Jungkook were the perfect mix of brains and brawn, art and sport, sweet and spicy, and kept life interesting enough that Y/n really didn’t miss her home country. However, the 10% of the time where homesickness was paramount was the holiday season. Since she grew up in America, Y/n’s family all celebrated Thanksgiving, and she’d grown used to not being able to do the same in Korea. Her family had never been traditional about the turkey and all the trimmings, so that part was easily displaced for Y/n. In fact, one year, her family had had a taco bar instead; however, the tradition that they kept without fail was that the entire family came together the Saturday after Thanksgiving to make homemade candy of all varieties. While other families baked Christmas cookies together, Y/n’s family spent 8-12 hours making all kinds of confections; if it wasn’t nailed down, it got covered in chocolate that day.

Y/n usually would fly home for a few days to participate in the candy making festivities, but this year it just wasn’t feasible due to her work schedule. Her family was okay with it, and her mom had promised to video call her so that she could see her nieces and nephews experience the day for the first time, but it just wasn’t the same. So, when the week of Thanksgiving came, Namjoon and Jungkook noticed how upset she was becoming.

“Hyung, we need to do something to help Noona. She’s so sad about not seeing her family,” Jungkook told Namjoon as he brought the elder a cup of coffee to his studio.

Namjoon accepted the steaming cup of coffee with a tender kiss to the younger’s lips before speaking. “I know. I’ve been thinking about it all morning and I think I have a solution. What if we call and get some of Y/n’s favorite recipes from her mom and we have our own candy making day here in Seoul? We have this weekend off for a change, and maybe Jin-hyung would be okay with us taking over the kitchen for the day.”

“I’m sure he would because he’d get to eat some of the things we make,” Jungkook said thoughtfully. “When can we call for those recipes? It might be hard to get some of the ingredients so we might have to overnight them from online.”

“I’ll reach out by text since it’s the middle of the night there. Maybe we can tell Y/n that we can’t come over to her apartment tonight because something came up here, and we can stay late here and video chat her then.”

After getting a goodbye kiss for the road, Jungkook headed off to record some vocals for their new album. He felt a bit better now that he had a plan in place to cheer up their girlfriend, and he knew that she’d love the surprise. He’d loved Namjoon since he was 15 but was still amazed at how intuitive the man was and how quickly he could come up with a solution to nearly any problem. He trusted that Namjoon would let him know when their important call was, so he threw himself into his work to finish in plenty of time.

Y/n’s mother was a morning person and responded excitedly at 5 am her own time and scheduled a time to call the boys. They would call her at 10 pm KST; it would still be morning for Y/n’s mom, but it would give her time to get some recipes together. She wanted to scan them in and email them to Namjoon.

Jungkook knew that Namjoon would probably work on music right up until the call, so he called Y/n himself.

“Hello, my Love!” she answered.

“Hi Noona. Have you had a good day at work today?” he asked through the biggest smile. Just hearing her voice squeezed his heart in the best way.

“Oh, you know. It’s been work,” she giggled. “Have my amazing boyfriends been working hard?”

“Yeah, we have. And that’s part of why I called. Something has come up, and we won’t be able to come over tonight, Noona. We have to re-record all over our vocals for 3 songs. The computer they were on crashed and the vocals were lost, so we have to stay late to catch back up. I know you have to work tomorrow, and we don’t want you to stay up too late waiting on us. I don’t know what time we will be finished.”

Jungkook felt guilty lying to one of the loves of his life, but hopefully the surprise they were coordinating would make up for it. It tugged his heartstrings at the way she sounded so sad not to see them.

“I’m so sorry, Noona. We will make it up to you this weekend when we are off,” Jungkook promised.

After talking for a few more minutes, Jungkook made Y/n promise to text him when she got home safely after work so that he could order dinner to be delivered to her. Even if they weren’t physically going to be there, he could make sure that she ate well. He pondered over their plan a bit more as he returned to Namjoon’s studio.

“I talked to Noona. I told her we had to re-record all the vocals for like 3 songs so we wouldn’t be over. We should tell the others so if she asks they will play along until Saturday,” Jungkook told him. “I hated lying to her.”

“I know. I talked to her earlier today after we heard back from her mom, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her we couldn’t come, so I’m glad you did. When I tried, my voice just stopped,” Namjoon replied.

They curled up on the sofa in the studio and ordered dinner for themselves as well as dinner for Y/n once she arrived home. After they ate, Jungkook curled up into Namjoon’s arms for a bit, just loving the warmth and love radiating off of him. The recipes that Y/n’s mom had emailed came through, so they looked them over and started a grocery list. All the recipes had either standard names or weird Christmasy names; Jungkook didn’t have any idea what the hell an Elf Bite was, but it sounded super good. Y/n’s mom called right on schedule and let them know that if they needed her to she could ship some of the ingredients that they might not be able to find in Korea from America. Namjoon pre-paid the postage for a package since they figured even sending a package second day from America would be expensive and since this was their idea, they wanted to cover the cost of everything.

“Boys, you have to have someone record her reaction to this for me please. I know we were a bit hesitant about your relationship at first, but I’m so happy you found my little girl. You are both wonderful for her,” Y/n’s mom said to Namjoon and Jungkook before ending the call. “You really do bring so much light and love into her world. Thank you for doing this for her.”

The next few days were a whirlwind as the boys worked hard and also spent a lot of time searching out the rest of the ingredients that they needed. Y/n mom had shipped nearly everything they needed for a few of the recipes, and with the help of some of the staff, they were able to get everything together. Jin helped hide everything in the dorm and was wholeheartedly supportive of their endeavor. So much so that he offered to help with the plan.

Namjoon and Jungkook were going to get everything out and get started on the peanut butter ball recipe that Y/n’s mom had sent. She had been very specific about how some of the ingredients couldn’t be measured, but that Y/n would just know if it was right by taste. Jin was going to call Y/n at 6 am on Saturday morning and beg her to come over. He was going to say that he was trying to make waffles and he just couldn’t figure out what was going wrong and beg her to come help him. Y/n loved to cook and to share her recipes with others, and this wouldn’t be the first time that Jin called her at a random time of the day begging for her help in recreating something they had eaten in America. Hopefully, by the time Namjoon and Jungkook had stumbled through the first part of the unfamiliar recipe, Y/n would be there to make the special adjustments to make the recipe complete.

They had stayed at the dorm Friday night so that they would be in place to spring their surprise. Y/n had had to work late so it worked out all around. Once they had showered after dance practice that day, they curled up in Namjoon’s bed and facetimed their girl. She looked so sad and tired, but Jungkook hoped that the next day would lift some of that sadness. Jungkook slept wrapped around Namjoon, their bare chests pressed together, until their alarm went off. At 5 am, Namjoon and Jungkook were sleepily getting ready for their day. Jungkook felt like he had barely slept from his anxiety that they would fail at the surprise, but it was go time. Jungkook made coffee and a light breakfast for them while Namjoon got dressed.

Namjoon came down the hall with Seokjin following behind. They were talking quietly amongst themselves as Jungkook put eggs and toast onto 3 plates and poured three cups of coffee.

“Are you guys ready for this?” Jin asked between bites of eggs.

“Yes, hyung,” Namjoon smiled softy. “Call our baby over.”

Nearly 30 minutes later, Y/n finally arrived. They had left the door unlocked so she could get in with no issues.

“Jinnie?” she called softly as she removed her shoes.

“In here, Y/n,” Jin called from the kitchen.

When Y/n rounded the corner into the kitchen, her mouth dropped open. Seokjin was standing against the back countertop with his phone raised, filming her reaction. Namjoon had both hands buried in a bowl, with powdered sugar streaked up his cheek. Jungkook was laughing as he stirred something in a bowl placed over a boiling pot while still watching Namjoon struggle.

“We’re not making waffles, are we?” she finally gasped out.

Jungkook turned off the eye of the cooktop before coming over and wrapping her in his arms. “No, Noona, we’re not making waffles. We know you were so sad you couldn’t be with your family for making candy with them. So we talked to your mom, and brought candy making to you. Your mom even shipped some ingredients from America for us.”

“Um…my loves, I hate to interrupt this beautiful moment, but I have no idea what I’m doing. Please help me,” Namjoon whined.

After she finally recovered from the shock, Y/n jumped right into showing the loves of her life and her best friend how to make the recipe that her grandmother showed her how to make as a toddler. No one was surprise when Namjoon dropped the first peanut butter ball he dipped in melted chocolate onto the floor while Jungkook lived up to his golden maknae nickname by making a peanut butter ball that was perfectly dipped and looked better than Y/n’s example. As time went on, the other members started getting out of bed and following the smell of peanut butter and chocolate until the entire group was standing around in various states of dress, rolling dough into balls and dipping into chocolate. Even Yoongi got into it.

They made so many different recipes of candy. Y/n’s mom had sent over several different recipes: Mounds balls, peanut butter balls, peanut butter Elf Bites, S’mores balls, chocolate covered pretzels, turtles, and peppermint bark. Half of the group was nearly sick from all the sugar, so they ordered pizza. Everyone else took turns in the shower while Y/n, Namjoon, and Jungkook curled up on the couch together. Y/n was sitting in Jungkook’s lap with her legs draped over Namjoon’s gorgeous thighs.

“Thank you both so much for today. I can’t explain how much this means to me,” she murmured to them through tears. “It made me feel less like I was a thousand miles from my family. It was so amazing that you were able to make my family’s recipes with me. Some time it would be amazing to merge the two, but even if that can never happen, I feel like it will be okay. The world won’t end if we start our own traditions here in Seoul.”

#bts fluff #bts fic #bts imagine #bts imagination #bts imagines #bts namkook #jungkook #namjoon #jeon jungkook #kim namjoon #bts poly #bts poly au #bts poly imagine #bts poly fanfic #bts christmas drabble #day 1

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sw124 · 4 years ago

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[Lamia-Birdy-Bitty Daily life!13]

/Pro-Revenge/p2

Hello my Lamia lovers how are you all doing, good I hope...

As I promised I would explain everything but if it gets to long I may do a part 3, now things get really sad in this so fair warning to all who have sensitive bitties. Now as you all have read from my last post I told you about Leo, Rosie, Phthalo the Mamba, my relationship with them and the tragedy that followed. At the very end of that I spoke about how Rosie got a phone call that ended with her in pure hysterical crying. Yeah I know, in the last post it didn’t sound like it but cut me some slack here....things were tough and I really didn’t want to describe her crying.

They were int he kitchen while I and the children were in the living room, as much as I wanted to go and comfort Rosie her siblings and Leo’s brother Jon told me this was something that shouldn’t be exposed to. So I was asked to do a lunch run for the kids, Rodger was about to get his wallet but before he could I quickly told him that lunch was on me and not to worry about paying me back. He was taken aback by it but I told him that this wasn’t the time for small things like that, all I wanted was a list of what food to get.

The kids were between 7 and 12 so to satisfy them all I went to the local drive through of every kids favorite places...you know with the Golden Arches you know the one. So I got nuggets, fries, some ice cream for them and brought it back. Also some cheese burgers for the adults, wasn’t that big a deal. When I got back...things hadn’t improved, I had just walked in when I over heard Jon yelling. The kids were all huddling close together and staring at the kitchen, he was yelling into a phone. I go over and motion the kids to follow me, I walk them outside and into the backyard away from the yelling. Rosie and Leo have wooden picnic table outback so the kids ate out there.

While they ate I snuck through the backyard to my place and gathered all my boys and brought them over. I kept Nebula with me while Tundra, Dante, Chip, and Mozart sat with the kids. It was a good idea cause the kids were distracted with the bitties. Tundra bonded with the youngest of the kids while the others played hide and seek. After a few hours of running around Betty called the kids in to wash up cause they were all going out to eat.

I was gathering up my boys to head back to the apartment when Betty rushed out to stop me. She had something in her hand, even from this distance I saw it was cash. She wanted to thank me for helping with the kids but being who I am and how I was raised I told her I couldn’t accept the money. She insisted but again I refused, I explained that now was not the time to be paying people for favors especially with me. Leo never paid me when I voluntarily helped him with yard work so I’m not starting now with any member of his family.

[Needless to say she was taken slightly aback by my words but that smile she gave me told me how proud/happy she was to hear that]

The next couple of weeks had been....slow, I told work about the funeral and let them know when I’d need my time off to attend. They were supportive, after work I’d stop by Rosie’s home and see if she and the rest of her kin needed my help. So far they had things handled with the funeral but were grateful for my help with the little ones [And Phthalo sometimes]. My boys loved it too, Tundra especially.

It was when my boys and I were watching the kids in the front yard that a car pulled up, this car...geez I had to do a double take. I’m not a car buff but I know at least some cars, this one was one of those Aston Martin Rapid S models. Pearl black with silver trim, chrome wheels, I mean this thing looked sharp! Even I know a car like that is beyond my pay grade. Who the hell owned this kind of car?

My question was answered when two men stepped out....dressed like they stepped out of a high end resorts tennis court. You know the pastel polo shirts, white dress shorts, sweaters tied around their shoulders, ball caps and shades. I get if you hear someone dies you’re in a rush to see the family but seriously.....

One of them saw me and walked over, the smell hit me first, one of those overpowering colones that just burnt your eyes.

Stranger1:Hey, this [insert Rosie/Leo’s last name] house?

That tone...it was that kind of tone that makes me wanna slap someone.

Me:....May I ask who you are?

I didn’t want to be rude but I don’t know these guys.

Stranger: You retarded? I asked you a damn question.

I was taken aback by his callousness, I glared at him and repeated my question.

[We’ll call these two Son1 and Son2]

Son1: My dad lives around here, names Leo is this his house or what?

Me: ..Yes this is his house.

With that both men walked up to the front door and just let themselves in, I was just shell shocked, these two were Leo’s boys?! I was so use to Leo’s southern gentlemen attitude I figured that any member of his family would maybe have some similar sensibility. I tried to shake it off an go back to watching the kids an my boys. I had sat down on on the grass and was about to tell the kids some stories when [though faint] I heard shouting. Rodger stormed out of the house, even from this distance I could see he was ready to punch something or someone. Despite that I walked over.

Me: Rodger I’m gonna take the kids to the park nearby.

Rodger: [calmed down a little] That’d be nice, thank you darlin’.

So our impromptu story time was cut short with a walk to the local park just a block away. It has playground equipment, its not that big but the kids didn’t care. They were swinging, jumping, running, playing, basically oblivious to the reason why we were there in the first place. My boys enjoyed it too, Nebula stayed with me obviously. It was about an hour later that their parents drove up to collect them, they thanked me and gathered their kids to head to their hotels to rest. I got my boys and headed back to our apartment, we were walking past Leo’s house and thankfully that Martin was gone. On impulse we walked up the steps and knocked on the door, I just had to check on Rosie.

The door flung open and I was greeted with a very angry Jon, it startled me but thankfully it disappeared when he saw me. He apologized up an down thinking I was one of the sons, I told him that its ok and informed him that all the kids were with their parents. He thanked me again, he then sat down in one of the rocking chairs set out on the porch.

He started asking me questions.

Jon: Them boys didn’t do anything to you now did they?  Me: Pardon?

Jon: Did those boys say anything or do anything to you?”

Me: Well one of them called me retarded when I asked him who he was but other then that he didn’t say or do anything to me.

Jon glared and apologized for their behavior, he then asked me to sit down on the bench next. I told him whatever the history between these boys and their parents wasn’t any of my business and if Rosie or anyone else doesn’t want to share it with anyone outside the family I have to respect that. That brought a smile to his face, I still took his offer and joined him him. I diverted the conversation instead to his childhood with Leo, that eased whatever tension he had. After some trips in memory lane he had fully calmed down, Rosie, Phthalo, Betty and Rodger joined us outside and continued the story telling. Which lead to making dinner together, a big pot of creamy seafood gumbo. After dinner I took my boys home.

Finally the day of the funeral was set, I informed work and got a week off, took Tundra and Dante to do some shopping for some proper clothing and prepped myself for...well you know.

The day finally came and I got myself ready, I was debating on bringing my boys but after some debate I chose to bring Chip and Dante since they were the closest to Leo. Mozart, Nebula and Tundra didn’t mind, two of them were happy to stay home and nap while Tundra watched a marathon of “How its made” on the science channel.

The three of us got there and were greeted warmly by Rodger and Jon, Betty complimented my clothes and showed me inside. They held the service in a small chapel inside the funeral home, I finally got to see Rosie and speak to her...sort of. I gave my condolences and she thanked me for attending but then she pulled me in and whispered that Leo left me something in his Will. I wasn’t sure how to react....so I whispered back to her that if he left me money that she could keep it cause I couldn’t accept any money from a friend, even if it was his dying wish I just can’t accept it.

That comment made her smile...it was good to see her smile, soon the service started, I sat in a pew a little towards the back. Don’t think me rude but it was in case I needed to leave the room, not cause I’d get bored but if I started crying, I didn’t want to disrupt anyone speaking or the eulogy itself. I looked around and I actually saw the two sons, at least they had the decency to show up. The funeral ended and an urn was presented to Rosie and Phthalo, everyone sat for a moment of silence with their heads bowed....

[All accept the sons who kept looking at their phones the whole FREAKING TIME!!]

After which the reading of the will was held, I told Rosie though I was invited I’d rather stay away, I didn’t want the sons getting the wrong idea. She understood and told me to come by her place later, after that I said my goodbyes and headed home. When I got back I put my ‘kick around’ clothes on, made some tea, took out some things to bake up some cookies, baked them and sat down with everyone to watch some stuff and...just try an settle after a day like this.

An hour later there’s a knock at my door, I open it to find...Leo’s sons. I had to glare at them.

Son1: So this where you live?  Me: No, I’m only staying here for the funeral. What the hell do you want?  Son1: Our dad mentioned you in his will, left you 200$ and-

Me: Don’t care, I’m lettin yer mom keep the money. I don’t want cash or anything like that, but what I would like to know is how the hell you knew where to find me?

Son1: Ain’t any of your buisness, listen if you know whats good for you, you’ll stay away from our mom and if she passes away in the future an we find out your in her Will we’ll sue you for every penny you got, you understand?  Me: [slams door in his face and tells him to F-off, I then quietly lock the door.]

I storm to my backyard...to find of all people Rosie sitting on one of my lawn chairs. She had a few boxes next to her of kitchen appliances, a countertop pizza oven, air fryer and a lovely ceramic Dutch oven. She gave me a look that said ‘I heard every word so don’t bother lying’. Like I could lie to her at this point, so I explained what they said to me and how I slammed the door in their faces. Rosie told me she’d take care of it, then she presented me what Leo left me in his Will. They were suppose to be my Christmas and Birthday presents but since he wasn’t going to be around to give them to me he was determined be sure I was left with something I’d use. She also handed me the 200$ but like I told the boys I refused the money, she nodded an then countered my words with inviting me to a restaurant with my boys.

I agreed and we all gathered up to go out with her family to eat.

Now your wondering where the Revenge is coming, be patient in the next part is where the Pro Revenge starts to comes in. Please stay tuned.

[for more info on Lamia bitties speak to @vex-bittys and visit her plz, as for Bird Bitties please speak to @coalition-aviary-bitty-adoption for information on them]

#fanfic #lamia bitties #vex bittys

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blouisparadise · 6 years ago

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Upon request, here is a rec list of shorter fics that are bottom Louis. These fics are all 10k words or less and just like all of our other rec lists, the fics are in order from shortest to longest. There will be four parts to this rec list, all of which will be linked here when they’re posted. Happy reading!

1) Just A Trim | Explicit | 2260 words

The one where Harry gets a haircut, and Louis, along with the rest of the world, loses his mind.

2) He Steps Out, The Crowds Lose Their Minds For Him | Mature | 3022 words

It comes out accidentally. Accidentally, as in he didn't want it to come out yet, but it did. “I want a baby.”

3) Double Dog Dare Ya | Explicit | 3411 words

The one where the boys play some truth or dare and Harry has a one track mind.

4) Down On Your Knees, You Don't Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. This wonderful, wonderful thing.

5) Painless With Immense Distance | Explicit | 3793 words

Harry just milks Louis's prostate and fucks him afterwards.

6) Can't You See (What You Do To Me)? | Explicit | 4217 words

Two men. One parking space. Lots of pranks, lots of persistence, lots of passion.

7) The Sound Of Silence | Explicit | 4272 words

Early the next morning, Louis had been scrolling through Twitter when he first saw the wild conspiracy. What if the person in the VIP box is actually Xander? Louis had almost choked on his coffee. Xander? Of all the people Harry had been connected to over the last few years, this person was speculating Harry was secretly in love with Xander Ritz?

8) All That Glitters Is Gold | Explicit | 4505 words

Louis is an exotic dancer in a club that is really, really not Harry’s scene, but there’s something about gold skin shimmering with glitter and a perfect bum in tiny shorts swaying around on a stripper pole that’s simply magnetic. If shy little Harry becomes a regular here, then that’s his business. And if Louis develops a soft spot for his favorite gentlemanly patron, then that’s his business too.

9) Earned It | Explicit | 5449 words

There’s something so uniquely captivating to being on stage - to being the center of attention. Louis has always craved it, always craved the feeling of being desired by all only to have his own pick at the end of the night. He knows people come to see him specifically - has been told time and time again - and maybe that’s why he’s so in love with what he does. He knows he’s wanted and he loves being able to manipulate the attention of the men and women sitting in the crowd around him.

10) Incalescent | Explicit | 5649 words

The onset of heat is something Louis still hasn’t learned to recognize.

11) Power Inside | Explicit | 5861 words

Louis wrinkles his nose and pokes Harry again. “You want a baby,” he repeats. Again, Harry frowns. “Uh, yeah, Lou, I want a baby. So do you.” Where is this even going. Harry honestly has no clue. Abruptly, Louis stops frowning and practically throws himself off of Harry, splaying himself out on his side of the bed, arms spread wide. “Okay. Let’s make a baby, then.”

12) Just Stop Your Crying (It's a Sign of the Times) | Explicit | 5864 words

My own imagining of the inspiration for Sign of the Times. Featuring boys in love, even after all this time.

13) Spark A New Flame | Explicit | 6100 words

Louis is nineteen, Harry is twenty-one, and it’s not all that hard to figure out what happens when they both go clubbing.

14) Like You Hate Me | Explicit | 6541 words

“You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again. Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson.

15) I Love You (More Than You Think I Do) | Mature | 6746 words

Harry loves Louis. He has for as long as he can remember. And Louis loves him back. Just not in that way. It seems they're always just out of reach. Then Louis falls into heat. And nothing will ever be the same.

16) I’m Broken, Do You Hear Me? | Explicit | 6957 words

Louis starts acting weird and distant around Harry, and it takes Harry a little while to put together what’s wrong. When he finally does, he’s determined to help Louis see just how much he loves every part of him.

“This,” says Louis, holding up a shirt from the box, “is the ugliest fucking shirt I’ve ever seen.”

18) Here In The Dark Is Where New Worlds Are Born | Explicit | 7573 words

Harry is a demon and Louis is his eternal mate.

19) Bite the Bullet, Feel the Rush | Explicit | 7750 words

The one where Harry can’t stop wanting Louis, they see each other naked a few times too many and showers are a magical thing.

20) Under the Vanilla Sky | Explicit | 8006 words

Who the hell wears a hat like that on a yacht? That’s one of the things Louis thinks when he sees Harry from across the deck of the most expensive, ridiculous boat he’s ever been on. He also thinks he’d like to get closer. Just to see what’s under those aviators. Just to verify that, yes, in fact, those white swim trunks might be a little see-through when wet. Just to see if someone could really be that hot in real life. On a yacht. In the Caribbean sea just off the coast of St. Barts.

21) Makes Perfect | Explicit | 8610 words

“What if you practiced on like, a mannequin?” Louis presses. “Or one of those blow up sex dolls? Or even just like, I don’t know, a pillow or something. Whatever it’d fit around.” Harry tilts his head thoughtfully, curls catching the light so entrancingly that Louis finds himself reaching up to push his fingers through them. “It’s different, though, innit? When it’s a real person. A pillow won’t snog me.” “Why should it?” says Louis. “You can’t even take its bra off.”

22) To Be A Fool | Explicit | 9156 words

Harry’s perception of Louis begins to change.

23) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him. One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in. "Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #short fics #blp #blp fic recs #larry

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let-it-raines · 6 years ago

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Second in Command (32/35)

Summary: Life as the “spare to the heir” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be when you’re the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don’t know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: Mature

A\N: Hey look, I changed the title from epilogue to just being a chapter count. I was keeping it that way for consistency, but, you know, I felt ridiculous once we got to about part five of this so called epilogue. lol. Anyways, here’s a nice, long chapter full of all kinds of goodies (it’s another Christmas chapter, you say?) that I enjoyed writing. I hope you enjoy reading!

Out of curiosity (and maybe a little bit of a call for inspiration), what would you guys like to see out of their future since the last three chapters will be skipping around a bit?

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr Chapters: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |

Sequel Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Tag list: @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @ekr032-blog-blog @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @kristi555 @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @artistic-writer @branlovesouat @dreadpirateemma @alys07 @andiirivera @emmas-storybook @superchocovian @in-spirational @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @shireness-says @jonirobinson64

The tree in their living room is Andy’s new favorite thing. He likes the lights, the way the multiple colors glisten off of each other and off of the baubles and ornaments that adorn the lush green branches that fill the room with the fresh scent of pine. They’ve got a Christmas tree in nearly every room of their house, at least downstairs, and if she had decorated more than just this one, she would have officially felt crazy. They had other people decorate since they had to host some diplomatic officials from Denmark last week, and Brennan wanted things to be, in his words, appropriately festive.

She’s got a kid who isn’t even three months old. She doesn’t need to be “appropriately festive” and hosting dinners in her home when there are several places they could host them that wouldn’t have her pulling her hair out every time a throw pillow got out of place.

Okay, so Killian is the one who got stressed about the throw pillows everywhere, but she pretty much felt stressed all of the time while people were moving trees in and furniture out, completely changing her house from what she’s accustomed to. Well, she wasn’t stressed all of the time. Just most of it. She likes the decorations, but she also knows that they’re going to have to go through all of this again when the holidays are over and it’s time to put the decorations and trimmings away until next year.

Maybe there won’t have to be as many decorations and maybe she won’t feel the need to pull her hair out as someone knocks over her favorite framed portrait of she, Killian, and Andy that was hanging on the living room wall above the lounge chairs where a Christmas tree is now resting.

And if she’s not pulling her hair out, Andy is definitely going to. He’s very much into grabbing her hair or her earrings whenever she’s holding him, and her hair has been permanently in a braid or bun for…awhile. She did have it blown out last week, though, letting Abigail mess with it when she brought the kids over for lunch, and it was kind of nice to walk around with bouncy curls and shiny hair that’s not been mangled by a kid. Not that she really minds wearing her hair up. She usually does that anyways. Andy has just changed a lot of things about how she and Killian operate in their day to day life.

Right now, though, he’s lying on his playmat on the floor doing his tummy time with toys hanging above him while she lays on the floor with him. He can lift his head but only for a little while, and when he does, he’s always looking at the tree or at her. Maybe she needs to take him around the house so he can look at all of the trees in the house so he’ll get that gummy smile on his face that he gets whenever she or Killian talk to him.

It may be the cutest thing that she’s ever seen in her entire life.

She may be biased.

Maybe she just needs Killian to get home from work so that she has another adult to talk to today, especially since Abigail and Liam are working today hosting some kind of Christmas party in the gardens just outside her front door. Emma thought about going, but honestly, there’s far too many kids who will swarm around she and Andy for her to be comfortable with walking out to the gardens. Besides, how could a nice party like that with all of its food and goodies be better than lying on the floor of her house with a baby who has finally come around to liking spending time on his stomach…for a little while.

The fact that he’s not wailing right now is a miracle.

A Christmas miracle maybe.

It’s not even Christmas. It’s not even Christmas Eve, but it kind of feels like this has been the longest holiday season in the history of all of the holiday seasons she’s experienced. It’s definitely the kid. This time last year she wasn’t even pregnant, so it’s weird that she has Andy right here with her now.

She got pregnant sometime around this week last year, which is super weird to think about, but also kind of fascinating.

Like clockwork, he starts wailing the moment he’s on his mat for more than ten minutes (she knew that it was too good to be true for him to like it this much), and even though she hates it, she’s going to let him suffer for one more minute before she lets him up and sits with him while she watches TV and does some last minute Christmas shopping. She’s got all of Killian’s presents and her parents’ presents bought and wrapped under the tree, but it’s difficult to think of gag gifts for the entire family. She already knows she’s going to get several things about being a mom or pregnancy or talking about her kid too much (Killian is going to get something like that too), and she wishes that everyone else had something as easy to pick on in gift form.

Though she did find Liam a sticker for his car that cautions other drivers that a student driver is behind the wheel because of him backing into a tree last month. It’s not her best work, but she’s desperate. She has no idea how Killian has done this for his entire life, especially when he used to despise his family most of the time. Actually, that’s probably what helped him out.

If she wouldn’t actually insult Allison, she’d get her something about being an overbearing mother-in-law ever since Andy was born, but Emma doesn’t have a death wish, so that’s definitely not happening.

Maybe.

She might get really and truly desperate. She definitely shouldn’t get Allison something rude.

But she still thinks about it.

“Alright, baby,” she sighs, getting up from the floor and picking Andy up with her and holding him against her chest while she walks around the room in an attempt to get him to stop crying. It’s miserable when he’s miserable, and she’s honestly not sure if it upsets her because he’s upset or because his cries are piercing. All of the kids at the party hundreds of feet away can probably hear him. “See, we’re not doing it anymore today. We’re all finished, I promise. We’re just going to chill out, okay?”

She rubs her hand up and down his back in as soothing of a motion as she can, and his cries do eventually quiet, especially as she moves him to stand outside for a minute when Indy needs to go to the bathroom. It’s not too cold, the sun shining down on them, but he’s not dressed for staying outside so she quickly hurries Indy inside and moves back to the living room to turn the television onto something with bright colors and noises that he’ll like.

It’s days like this that make her ready to go back to work, but she’s not going to complain about getting this much time off, not when she knows how rare it is for a lot of moms back home...not that America has been her home recently, but sometimes it’s hard for her to shake it off that she’s technically British. And just because her body feels less like it’s been run over by a tank than it did last week, doesn’t mean that having to do too much after not sleeping is a great idea.

Plus, nursing is hard, and she and Andy have to take a nap every afternoon just for her to make it to eight o’clock at night.

It’s better when Killian’s around or when her mom comes over for a few hours, but they’ve both had to work every day this week before taking off for the holidays. She gets Killian and Andy all to herself tomorrow though, and she’s excited. She’s kind of thinking that she’ll get Killian to help her bake some goodies to give out to their staff to go along with their gifts. She’s gotten better at baking, can make really good pies, but Killian definitely has the better touch and actually knows how to make things look much nicer than she does.

Sometimes she swears that he could make those food videos online that she spends so much time watching, but she just knows that’s never going to happen.

The front door beeps as it opens, and she gets up from the couch, bringing Andy with her as she makes her way over to greet Killian before he goes searching for them in the house. She sees him first as he’s struggling to take his tie off, finally getting it only after strands of hair fall down on forehead with the effort. He must have really hated wearing that tie today. Then again, when does he ever like wearing one?

“Hey.”

He looks over toward her voice, his lips pressing together until they part and he smiles with his entire face, teeth on display and lines bunching up around his eyes.

“Hello, my loves,” he sighs, and her stomach does a little twitch at how happy he is to see them as he walks toward them, bending down to kiss her, his freshly trimmed scruff tickling her, before he brushes his lips over Andy’s head. “Have we been good today, Andy boy?”

“Eh,” she moans, handing him over to Killian as Andy is pretty much gob smacked to see his dad, “he’s been fine. Some good moments. Some bad. We just had a fit a few minutes ago so I’m hoping that things will be fine now.” “Ah,” Killian sighs, looking down at Andy and adjusting him in his arms before he looks back at her. “What about you? I’m sorry that I’ve barely been able to answer my phone.”

“Babe, it’s fine. We have lives outside of each other, and as much as I miss having an adult to talk to when everyone is busy, I like having time by myself even with my new practically permanent attachment.”

It’s true. Sometimes she craves the days of always being around other people, like she did a bit today, but she really does love getting to have time with just she and Andy. He doesn’t judge her if she sits on the couch and pigs out all day or talks to the television to tell characters how idiotic they’re being.

“I know. So good day?”

She nods. “Good day.”

-/-

“Do you grab the gray hat?”

“It’s in the bag.”

“What about the socks?”

“I’ve got several pairs in the bag.”

“His bear thing for when it’s cold?”

“The bag, darling.”

“Okay, but what about – ”

“Emma,” Killian sighs, walking over to her and cupping her cheeks with his hands while he looks down at her with his lips pressed into a thin line, “I have every single thing that we wrote down on the list plus more. And if we forget something, since I know that’s going to be your next question, we’ll simply go out and buy it.”

“I know, I know. I just…I just,” she mumbles, blinking her eyes a bit, “I’m terrified that we’re going to forget something vital. I mean, we’re going to be away from home for days. What if I forget food or something?”

He quirks an eyebrow, and she knows that she’s said something stupid even before he points it out. “Unless you can somehow manage to leave your breasts behind, I think we’ll be fine.”

“You know what I meant.”

He applies a little more pressure to her cheeks before he leans down and presses his lips against her forehead. She closes her eyes, savoring how it feels just to be close to him like this. “It’s going to be fine. We’re going to have a nice holiday full of good food and good company with lots of people who will want to love up on Andy. He will not be in want for anything.”

“Sometimes I really hate that you’re a rational person.”

“Aye,” he agrees, swiping under her eyes, “and sometimes I really hate how you make split decisions with your gut, but we usually balance each other out. Of course, right now you’re over planning to the extreme.”

“Listen, bud, you’re the one who’s been talking about this being his first Christmas and all that jazz, and I know for a fact that you over plan all of the time. I’m not being that bad.”

“You’re being pretty bad.”

“Yeah, okay, but when we get there with an entire train car full of things and you’ve forgotten your briefs, don’t come crying to me.”

“Oh, darling,” he croons, waggling his brows while he flashes her a cheeky grin, “I won’t mind and neither should you. It’ll give you easier access and all. There won’t be any almost disasters like last year when my mum almost caught us in one of the dens.”

Her cheeks heat just thinking of that, and she can do nothing more than shake her head back and forth. He’s so dumb sometimes, but he’s got her laughing when she’s been having this irrational (or maybe totally rational) fear of forgetting something while traveling with Andy for the first time.

“That one was totally your fault,” she laughs, stepping closer to him and wrapping her arms around his waist, simply wanting to hold him for a moment or two.

“It was,” he quietly admits, moving his arms to rest around her waist, hands falling to her ass. “You okay?”

She nods against his chest before she brushes her lips over his collarbone. “Fine. I’m a little tired, maybe a little bit stressed, and I’d feel better if we were already all settled in at Sandringham.”

“Soon,” he promises. “Soon.”

And it is soon. Andy miraculously sleeps throughout the entire train ride, the constant motion probably helping when she was convinced that it was going to keep him up and upset him with the rocking. He does wake up when they’re trying to settle inside, and it pretty much takes ten people to do the work she and Killian did to get everything on the train. But soon they’re swept up in greeting family, chatter and laughter filling one of the sitting rooms as they all fill up on tea and coffee while nearly every person comes over to her and asks if they can have Andy for a little while. She’s definitely okay letting other people have him while she’s in the same room. She can keep an eye on him while also not having to worry about anything but getting to drink her coffee and talk to Abigail and Rebecca while Brennan is holding Andy while he’s sitting on a sofa with Allison on the other side of the room.

Everything is a bit chaotic, but she kind of likes it that way right now. She likes the way she and Abigail can’t get through a conversation without laughing, Rebecca looking at them like they’re crazy, and she likes the way that she can hear Killian and Liam laughing even though they’re nowhere near them right now. She’s got this big crazy family who she loves despite how they treated her when they first met, and she goes to bed that night with her face aching from the smile that’s been there all day.

Christmas Eve is the same, even if the schedule is a bit more rigid than any other day. She’s got a long list of all of the ridiculous things and traditions that come with being in this family, but the amount of outfit changes she goes through on this day where they don’t even leave the house has got to be one of the most ridiculous. It’s nice that she can stay in jeans and a sweater for the first part of the day as they eat a late breakfast and head outside for the football match. She’s not playing this year, not quite feeling up to getting absolutely roughed up like what happens every year.

Seriously. Killian and Liam do not play nicely. She honestly thinks it might be worse since they’ve become close, but she was never exactly here to watch beforehand.

“Is Mummy going to win?”

“Maybe,” she shrugs, adjusting Andy in her lap as she talks to Alex and keeps Lizzie between her calves. She’s pretty much being trampled by kids, but she doesn’t mind since she’s the one who is choosing to sit today out because she’s tired. “Or maybe your daddy will win. They’re on different teams this year.” “Mummy is with Killian,” Lizzie tells her, leaning back until her head is resting right at Andy’s socked feet.

“Exactly.”

“And we’re with you.”

“Yep,” she laughs, reaching down to tug a little at Lizzie’s hair while Alex yells as Liam almost scores a goal, “you guys are on my team.”

Liam’s team wins, and she already knows that Killian is going to be in an absolute mood. He’ll go on and on about how Liam will have bragging rights for the entire year, and she’ll have to feign sympathy. Sure enough, Killian come jogging up to her afterward, the hair on his forehead sticking up in at least ten different directions while sweat beads at his temples.

“You know, I probably lost because you didn’t play this year.”

“Please,” she laughs, holding her hand up so he can help her rise from the ground, Andy secure in her arm, “youdefinitely lost because I didn’t play this year.” Killian scoffs, rolls his eyes a bit even, before his attention falls to Andy who is reaching his hands out for his dad. “You want to go see daddy, baby?” she coos, hanging him over to Killian. “He probably needs some comforting after his tough loss.”

“You’re so comforting.” “I know,” she promises, pressing up on her toes to brush her lips over his cheek. “Maybe next year you’ll win.”

“Maybe, but now I’ll have to deal with Liam bragging for an entire year.”

Yeah, she knew that’s exactly what he was going to say. It’s almost scary how well they know each other.

Or maybe she simply knows that her husband hates losing to his brother. If she had a sibling, she’d probably be the same way. Hell, she’s that way with Killian whenever they compete against each other when out at an engagement.

She’s only slightly sure that their relationship is normal.

“Happy Christmas,” Killian whispers into her skin the next morning, the way his lips are brushing against the nape of her neck making a shiver run down her spine and reach her toes.

“Mmm,” she hums, twisting over on the mattress so that her nose rubs against Killian’s and his eyes light up even in the darkness of the room. How is that even possible? “Merry Christmas.”

“It’s early,” he murmurs before his lips find hers, their mouths coming together in a soft and comforting kiss that seems to go on forever in the quietness of their room. She’d let it go on forever, let their lips constantly stay moving, constantly stay connected, but she does have to breathe at some point. That might be overrated as the happiness that seems to be an almost unceasing lately settles in her chest.

“So you say,” she says breathlessly, rubbing her nose into his cheek and allowing herself to find comfort in the way that their lips brush over each other every time one of them speak. “Why are we up?”

“Because it’s our first Christmas with our little love, and I figured you would want some private time with him to make some of our own traditions.”

She nods her head, Killian’s scruff brushing against her skin before she quickly and sweetly glides her lips of Killian’s again, giving him a long, deep kiss to thank him for knowing what she wants nearly every time, to thank him for helping to give her this family.

“So you want to go wake up the sleeping bear?”

“Aye.”

She rises from the bed, stretching her limbs out before adjusting the top of her pajamas, pulling her shirt up from where it had fallen as she slept, and even though she knows that she should get ready before they go to church this morning, all she really wants is to spend time with her baby. He’s awake in his bassinet when she finds him, his small body clothed in pajamas with cutely drawn snowmen covering them.

“Hi, sweetie,” she sighs, reaching down and picking him up when he reaches up for her, the smile on his face as bright when he recognizes him. “It’s Christmas, Andy. Yeah, we’ve got lots to do today, but mommy and daddy want to spend time with you after we’ve got you all changed.”

He’s surprisingly easy this morning, and she knows that it has nothing to do with the holiday. He has no idea that today is supposed to be something special. To him he’s simply in a new environment with different decorations than at home, and really, spending the morning opening presents for him and telling stories is more for she and Killian than for him. He won’t remember any of this, won’t remember how Killian practically packed an entire new library of books for him, won’t remember how she tells him the story about how on Christmas last year she and Killian decided that they wanted to expand their family so they could have him, and he won’t remember the way that the three of them sit on the ground next to a tree with all of their faces cast in different colored lights while he laughs in fascination over Emma sticking her tongue out only to make it disappear, making him scream out in giggles.

She’ll remember though.

She’ll remember it all, and with the way Killian is looking at her, fondness obvious in his gaze as his eyes never stray from his face, she knows that he will too. She also knows that she’ll remember the way something flutters inside of her while blush rises on her cheeks as she’s reminded once again just how loved she is now.

Just how loved she’ll always be.

-/-

There’s a line of dresses in front of her ordered by color and size. Some of them are seem simple, just plain chiffon dresses, while others sparkle and shine under the light of her bedroom. She’s been married to Killian for over two and a half years, has been having to wear these gowns for even longer than that, but she’ll still never quite get used to how people send her dresses whenever she has an event to go to.

She wore jeans to work pretty much every day of her life, and she definitely misses that sometimes.

But she’s apparently being overwhelmed with gowns right now since it’s her first official event back from maternity leave even though she’s not really going back to work until sometime in the spring. She’s done a few things here and there, but most of them have been family events like Christmas two weeks ago or Andy’s Christening back in November. So she hasn’t disappeared like most people assume (seriously, she stumbled across an article the other day saying her pregnancy was fake and that’s why she didn’t make a public appearance with Andy at the hospital and it’s how she managed to look so good at the Christening of her fake baby…this is what she gets for using Ruby’s snapchat and scrolling through the stories, but she does appreciate the fact that they thought she looked nice), but apparently it’s become some kind of big deal for her to show up in public.

She’s kind of thinking that people are just pissed that no one has managed to get any paparazzi pictures of Andy outside of his Christening. And they only released the one picture of him when he’s sitting with her, so she and her son are just mystery human beings, she guesses. But she doesn’t have any regrets. This is right for them, and she wouldn’t change anything.

She’s feeling a little overwhelmed by the dress selection in front of her, but she doesn’t have any regrets.

“What should Momma wear?” she asks Andy who’s on his playmat doing his tummy time. He actually likes it today, so she’s super thankful for that. He’s growing a lot, and what he likes and hates are definitely already changing. “Do you know, baby? I bet you’d like the ones that have flowers on them so you can pull at them, which probably means those are not the ones.”

“Are you talking to yourself, darling?”

She turns her head to the door of the bedroom where Killian’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face that makes her stomach twist. But in a good way. She didn’t even hear him come upstairs.

“I’m talking to sir Andrew over there. I like to think that he talks back.”

Killian barks out a laugh before walking toward her and coming to stand behind her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on the top of her head. “One day he will, and his first word will be couture.”

“Do you practice that with him?”

Killian hums behind her, and she can feel the vibrations of it all the way down to her toes. Now would be a really good time for Andy to want to take a nap, and then for she and Killian to turn their phones off and have some private time. “I practice the words mummy and mama with him, mostly because I love you so damn much and talk about you all of the time.”

She scoffs before twisting in Killian’s arms and putting her hands on his chest, making him move a little bit as she studies his features, trying to figure out whatever the hell it is he’s trying to woo her with. “Did you do something?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You’re a very sweet man, so it’s not out of the blue for you to try to butter me up with all of your pretty words, but I know for a fact that you would sell your limbs for Andy to say your name first. So why are you lying?”

“I’m not lying, darling. Andy and I really do talk about you all of the time. You’re our favorite subject.” She looks over to Andy, making sure he’s still where he’s supposed to be and not having some kind of meltdown, and she wishes she could somehow figure out what Killian is up to. It has to be something. “But I do have a little favor to ask of you.” “There it is,” she laughs, backing up from him only for Killian to slide his hands into the back pocket of her jeans and pull her back to him. “What ever could you need from me?”

He dips his head down and quickly slants his lips over his in the way that takes her breath away every time. And he knows that too. The man is a damn good kisser, and if she wasn’t so curious as to what he wants, she’d turn to, like, human jelly right then and there.

Now that would be something else.

“Goodness gracious, babe, just tell me.”

“Well, I was thinking.”

“That always goes so well.” “That joke never gets funnier, love.” “I think that it does.” “Anyways, I was thinking about all of these beautiful gowns that arrived for you today and how you’ve agreed to be my date for the prom.” “It is not the prom. We’re not teenagers in America.” “Yes, but I feel like I’m a teenager in love when I’m with you.”

“I will literally say yes to whatever you’re about to ask if you promise to never be that cheesy again.” “I can’t make that promise.” She slaps his chest and shakes her head, her gaze traveling between Killian and Andy. “Get on with it then.”

“So I’m thinking after we go to the BAFTAs,” Killian continues, palming her ass the slightest bit, “that instead of coming home to our lovable little munchkin, you and I go to a hotel. Or we can come here. But the point is, we don’t have a baby to come home to.” “What are you planning on doing with him?”

He’s not going to make the kid disappear or something far more nefarious, so she doesn’t even know why she asks.

“I’m planning on him staying with your parents for the night. They have a nursery for this purpose, love. And we just installed the new security system and fence for them.”

“You want me to leave him for an entire night?” He nods his head up and down at the same time that she feels tears forming in her eyes. Nope. She’s not going to cry. She’s not. Leaving him for an entire night doesn’t terrify her or anything.

It terrifies her a lot.

“Darling, it’ll be fine. It’s just a night, and if you want to wake up before the sun rises to go pick him up, we can. I will miss him just as much as you do, but we’ve got to graduate from the ‘just a few hours’ thing we’ve been doing. Plus, we can have a night together without a baby monitor sitting next to the bed.” “So you want to leave him so we can have this fancy date and then have sex? Because we can have this fancy date, come home and check on him, and then have sex.”

“Aye,” Killian laughs, backing them up to the bench in front of the bed and sitting down, pulling her down on top of him with a squeal, “we could, but I’m not even saying we have to have sex. You know as well as I do that neither of us are fans of planned sex, so that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m just suggesting one night, just you and me, no baby. I don’t care what we do. We can sit in our pajamas and eat room service until we’re so bloated we can’t move all while talking about how we love the rolls on Andy’s arms. Maybe we immediately get there, strip out of our clothes, and make love like we did when we had just gotten together and your parents went out for the night and left us alone to have the entire apartment together. Or maybe,” Killian sighs, placing a kiss on both of her cheeks that makes her smile, “we simply get a full night of uninterrupted sleep.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Which one?” “All of them.”

“So you’ll consider letting me take you fifteen minutes away from him for less than twelve hours?”

She both wants to an doesn’t want to all at the same time. She knows that she should, that he’ll be fine without her, and she really does think that the night will be nice. They deserve to just be them every now and then. “Well, when you put it like that, I’d be ridiculous to say no.”

“Good,” Killian sighs, kissing her again before moving her off of his lap so he can pick Andy up from the floor and blow a raspberry on his stomach that makes Andy laugh like Killian’s just done the most hysterical thing in the world. “Did you hear that, little lad? Mummy has agreed to go on a date with daddy, and you’re going to spend the night with Mimi and Papa. Yeah, you are.”

“I could still change my mind.” “I expect that,” Killian admits, walking over to her with Andy in his arms. She reaches over and moves his hair off of his forehead. At the rate it’s growing, they’re going to have to get it cut before he’s even one unless it all starts to fall off like she’s read about, and she’s not ready to think about that. She’s just now thinking about spending the night away from him. “You should wear the emerald dress, darling. It’ll bring out your eyes, and I know you’ll look beautiful in it.” “How can you even see what it looks like from here?”

He shrugs as much as he can with Andy on him. “I looked through them when they first arrived.”

“Why?”

“I was curious, and I knew that you would spend far too long deciding even with the help of your assistant in training.”

She walks toward the rack of clothes and thumbs through them until she gets to the emerald dress Killian was talking about. It’s beautiful, they all are, but this one seems light and airy, like it will flow as she walks. It also looks like it’s going to dip down her entire chest and require some major taping so she doesn’t flash everyone with her breasts. She’s not even sure if she can wear this.

She kind of wants to wear this.

“You realize this shows my entire chest, right?”

“Aye, that’s why I like it.” “Such a man.”

“Never claimed to be otherwise, and you know that I have some very specific feelings about your breasts.”

She does end up picking the emerald dress and getting it altered. She really liked that way that it dipped down, and if she could get away with it without Brennan and Allison having a heart attack, she’d wear it just like that. Instead she gets some lace added to it, and as she’s zipped up into it the evening of the BAFTAs, she’s happy with the way it turned out.

For someone who has been walking around the house in leggings and a sweater with her hair falling out of a messy bun, she’s kind of excited to be this dressed up. She’s not a fan of the shoes she’s got to spend all night in, but for the first time since Andy was born, she feels a bit…she doesn’t really know how she feels. She feels put together, like she’s about to go out and have a nice night with her husband and not have to come home and deal with someone else’s bodily functions, which is exactly what she’s doing. She thought about backing out of Andy spending the night with her parents several times in the last few days, but she always convinced herself not to.

It was really hard.

She’s super obsessed with her child no matter how many days he makes her want to pull out her hair, and she doesn’t see that obsession tampering. She just doesn’t.

So tonight will be good. It’s a baby step, and she’s going to go on a date with Killian, even if her preferred date with Killian is sitting in their bed in comfortable clothes eating good food and having the television playing in the background all the while they’re hysterically tired and telling awful jokes that have their stomachs hurting from all of the laughter. It may be a bit boring, but she likes doing that with Killian. It’s how they got to know each other, and it’s them in every single way.

That’s what they’re going to do later. She’s about to rack up a hell of a room service bill and absolutely not care about the diet and exercise plan that she’s been on. She deserves it.

She wonders if they have macaroni and cheese. They better have macaroni and cheese. She did not eat nearly enough macaroni and cheese when she was pregnant. Killian kept the food in the house far too healthy, even if he would let her indulge in her wants of cherry pie and cupcakes. Or really just the icing. She’s pretty sure Killian kept a secret stash of icing somewhere in the apartment just for her.

He just wouldn’t tell her where.

It’s probably still somewhere. She and Andy are going to go on a hunt for that sometime soon while Killian is at work.

Her dress is far too tight for her to be thinking about all of this food.

“Hot damn,” Killian whistles, walking out of the bathroom and straightening his bow tie. Hot damn is right. So maybe there are some benefits to going out tonight outside of the macaroni and cheese. Her husband looking fucking attractive one of them. “I see one smoking hot mum.”

She feels the blush rise in her cheeks, her entire body heating, and she simply shakes her head back and forth, her earrings moving with it. That’s one of Killian’s new favorite things to say, and while she knows he probably picked up on it from Ruby, she doesn’t mind. “Thank you, babe. You look nice.”

He winks at her before stepping a little closer to her, the tips of their shoes touching while he runs his hands over her shoulders, the metal of his wedding ring cool against the heat of her skin. He leans down to press a kiss against her right shoulder, then her left, and her entire body tingles with the mixture of his lips and newly trimmed scruff against her skin. Okay, so this night is sounding better and better. Or at least feeling that way.

“Your mum is waiting downstairs with Andy so we can say goodbye, Thomas has already had our bags sent to the hotel, and all of Andy’s things are packed up and loaded into your mum’s car. You ready to go?”

She nods her head before they make their way downstairs. She has to hold her dress up a bit and hold onto Killian’s elbow as they walk down the steps, but when she’s finally down on flat ground, she feels a little more accustomed to walking in heels again. Plus, she can hear her mom talking to Andy in the sitting room next to the front door that’s pretty much where all of his toys downstairs tend to find their home when she and Killian decide to clean things up.

Imagining what it’s going to be like when he gets a bit older and can actually play with the toys by moving them around himself is terrifying. Killian might go insane.

No, Killian will go insane.

“Oh, look, Andrew,” her mom coos as she and Killian come into sight, and Emma tries not to laugh at how her mom nearly always calls Andy by his full name. She’s just thankful she doesn’t walk around calling him Prince Andrew Killian. Every time someone calls him by that name, she cringes a bit. She understands, but she cringes. He’s just Andy and sometimes Andrew if it slips off her tongue. “Mummy and daddy look so nice, yeah, they’re going to have a date, and you’re going to spend the night with Mimi.”

“Let me cuddle him for a minute, Mom,” she says, taking a step closer and taking Andy into her arms and cuddling him against her skin while he reaches for her earrings. “Be good for Mimi, baby. I know me saying this doesn’t help, but I can hope. Yeah, I can hope that you’re going to be a good boy.” She looks up at her mom all the while she runs her hand up and down Andy’s back, feeling the softness of his little sweater. It makes him look like a grown man, and she finds weird enjoyment in dressing a baby in similar clothes that Killian and her dad wear. He’s got this beanie and plaid shirt that match Killian’s, and it’s adorable. “You’ve got all his stuff? His milk, the warmer, clothes, diapers?” “I packed the bag, love,” Killian tells her, stepping up to her and placing his hand on the small of her back. “Everything is in there.” “Okay, okay,” she sighs, nodding her before kissing the crown of Andy’s head. “I love you, baby. So, so much. Mom, call if anything’s wrong or if you’re just overwhelmed. Or maybe just to tell me how he is. We can come at any time.” “Sweetie, I know how to take care of a baby. You two go have fun.” “We will,” Killian promises as he takes Andy out of her arms and hugs him for minute, whispering words in his ears that she can’t hear before handing him over to her mom.

God, this is going to be hard, but she can do this. Most moms have already done this. She can do this.

“Let’s go, love.” Killian puts his hand on the small of her back again and guides her out of the apartment, grabbing her clutch along the way.

After twenty minutes in the car, every single one of which she worries about leaving Andy overnight with her mom despite how much she wants this night, Thomas is pulling them up to the drop-off zone at the BAFTAs, and she is already blinded by the lights of the cameras. It’s almost like her eyes have become adjusted to the lack of photographers over the past few months, and she can’t quite get adjusted to it this quickly, especially when the sun has set.

“It’s just for a few minutes, love,” Killian promises, stepping out of the car and holding his hand out to help her out, her dress having to be kicked as she moves. “And then we’ll be inside and get to watch the show.” “Thank you.” She successfully gets out of the car, smoothing her dress out and doing a quick last minute adjustment to her dress and earrings before Thomas and Isabelle lead them along the carpet and through the crowds until they’re in the building. “I’m excited to be here even if I seem a little wary,” she promises later while they’re standing behind the doors that will lead them to their seats.

“I know,” he tells her, holding his arm out to offer her support before they walk down the stairs. “We’re going to have a nice night, Andy is going to be fine, and I’m going to consistently remind you of how absolutely beautiful you are.” “I like you when you’re sweet.” “So always?”

“Eh.”

It’s only a quick walk down the stairs, but she feels like she might as well be walking the stairs of a football stadium with how everyone is staring at her and standing. That’s something she’ll never quite get over. Truly. People stand for her when she doesn’t deserve it in the slightest. She understands that it’s tradition, that she’s part of a historic family, but to her, she feels like she should be standing for all of these actors and how absolutely obsessed she is with their work. But life is weird, and even with all of these oddities, she knows that she wouldn’t change anything to get to keep the people who matter most to her.

Not at all.

The show is great, and it speeds by, even during the slow moments. Killian keeps her entertained, whispering his own commentary during every presentation and all of the attempts at humor, even when several of the jokes are about the two of them. She’s heard much worse about herself, so a little friendly fire is nothing. She honestly kind of likes it. Who is she to not like a good bit of comedy?

Nearly every break that happens they have someone come up to speak to them, and she falls so easily back into her role of someone who can have a conversation with a brick wall and still attempt to make it interesting. But tonight actually is interesting, and she’s getting to meet people who have made her laugh and cry all while within the comfort of her own home whether that home be in Maine, an apartment above a pub, or in Kensington. By the time they’ve been there for hours, she can feel smile lines in her cheeks and an ache in her feet despite having been seated for most of the night. Mostly, though, she feels the way Killian’s thumb is moving over her knuckles in a soothing pattern for the entire night, and it brings her a comfort that no one else in the room could.

They bow out before the show is over, walking through dark hallways made of concrete to find their way out a back entrance so they can privately get in their car and be driven to their hotel where the exact same thing happens, Isabelle checking in for them while Thomas gets them up to their suite without running into other guests. She’s sure it was quite the ordeal planning that, that Thomas would have much rather they stayed at home, but she doesn’t think about it too much and she toes out of her heels and lets her feet sink into the plush carpeting of their room while Killian undoes his bowtie, unbuttoning a few buttons as he goes to expose the dark hair on his chest.

She steps over to him, her dress trailing on the floor around her legs as she moves, until she’s close enough that she can undo the buttons on his shirt, deftly flicking them open until she can see the way his stomach muscles move with each heavy, steadying breath that he takes. Her finger traces along the line of hair, and she feels him twitch, which only makes her smile to herself, a bit of giddy anticipation settling inside of her at how her touch electrifies him. It’s powerful to have that kind of effect on someone else, but she knows that it’s not just her. He does the same thing to her.

“So we’re skipping dinner then?” he breathes out, his voice hitching while she continues to press her nails into his skin, scratching and tracing around his nipples all the while her eyes stay trained on his skin, on the way that his collarbone is peeking out from under his shirt and jacket.

“Oh no,” she laughs, finally tilting her head up to look at him and the way his eyes have darkened since she last saw them, “we are definitely eating later. That was promised to me. I just want to do this first.”

“To work up an appetite, aye?”

“Aye,” she mimics, pressing up on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck, hands in his hair, before she softly glides her lips over his in what is one of her most loved moves. His hand rests on the small of her back, the weight heavy and comfortable all at once while the fingers of his other hand thread through her hair, gently pushing her forward at the same time that his tongue flickers out to tease her. He’s unhurried in the way that he kisses her, just as she is with him, but it’s almost like there’s an urgency with the way that he caresses her with both his tongue and his hands. There should be no urgency. They have all night with no risk of interruptions, but with how frantic they have been lately, she understands that worry of having to be taken away from more pleasurable activities in order to be with their son.

“I need…I need to take off this dress.”

“I plan on getting there,” Killian murmurs against her lips before he tilts his head and trails his lips across her jaw, making the heat pool in her belly in that familiar, yet always thrilling way. “Was actually plan on getting there pretty soon.” He pulls back from her, the loss of heat instantaneous until his finger trails along the concave of her breasts, making her own breath hitch as she did to Killian earlier. “I’ve had a particularly nice view this entire evening, but I would so enjoy having a better one.”

“You could always just say you want to see my boobs. That is why you liked this dress after all.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” he questions, slowly dragging his fingers across her skin until he’s moving all of her hair over to one shoulder, kissing each inch of skin that’s now exposed. She hears the zipper move, feels the dress loosen so she can breathe, but mostly she feels Killian’s lips and his scruff as he adorns her skin with his caresses.

They’re an expert in this, have been for nearly a decade now, but they take their time undressing each other, laughing to themselves with she struggles to get the Spanx that’s been squeezing her stomach all night off in several movements that she knows cannot at all be attractive. Killian simply shakes his head, his lips stretched apart in a smile so wide that his eyes close and the lines around them crinkle, and she feels a similar one stretch across her own lips as she finally gets the material down around her feet. Such are the hazards of giving birth and then having to wear a tight dress.

Such are the hazards of simply being a woman and having to wear a tight dress.

Killian’s a bit more rushed with his pace after that, and while she can feel his headiness pressed against her thigh, warm and hard, he takes the time to kiss her, to move over her, and she’s practically squirming by the time his fingers trail through her folds while his breath ghosts over her hipbone and the stretch marks that reside there. She’d been so self-conscious about them for awhile, so worried about the way that they mark her skin, and while those feelings haven’t gone away, she tries to remind herself that she literally gave life. Those marks are nothing to be ashamed of.

And Killian has never once treated her differently because of them. She knows that’s what should happen, that he should never judge her for how her body changes, but she also knows that she’s one of the lucky ones.

In more ways than one.

He continues to tease her even as he moves back up her body, every touch setting her skin aflame in a way that she struggles to describe, to comprehend really, and she’s thankful when his mouth brushes against hers again so that she can cup his cheeks and hold him steady while her heart beats at a quick, steady rhythm within her chest.

Steady, she thinks. Killian is always steady. And yet he’s always thrilling, exciting, unexpected even when she knows his next move. He’s everything including flawed, especially including flawed, but she loves him. And they work. That’s all that really matters to her. They work.

After sinking into her, his heat encompassing her even more, he settles heavily within her, somehow weighing her down and lifting her up. It doesn’t matter if they’re frantic or slow, if they’re caring or harsh, because some things always stay the same. He always feels good inside of her, rocking within her and dragging skin against skin in a way that she knows makes both of them lose themselves for awhile.

It’s a good feeling.

Sweat beads at her forehead, likely causing her makeup to run, but she doesn’t really care, not with the way she craves this heat. Her nails trail along his back while her legs wrap around his waist and rest just above his ass as he leisurely drags himself inside of her all the while slanting his lips over hers in a warm slide. This is one of her favorite spots, favorite positions even with its frequency, and Killian always somehow manages to drive her into madness with the spots that he hits and the way he knows just what to do.

Being with someone for so long…it’s like nothing she ever would have expected it to be.

She whispers words of love and affection into his ear or against his lips, usually having to take a moment to catch her breath or to mutter a curse when he hits a particularly good spot or gets into a good rhythm while she matches her hips to his, and he does the same to her, his voice deep, husky, breathless against her skin. As the coil in her stomach tightens, every one of her senses dulled to the heady feel of Killian dragging within her, she almost cries out in pain before the pleasure reaches her. It’s not always something that reaches down to her toes, there’s not always those metaphorical fireworks, but tonight she feels a buzz across every inch of her skin while the love of her life drags his lips up and down her neck, his movements finally becoming frantic when he gets to feel the buzz too.

Once they’ve caught their breaths, she doesn’t want to move, just wants to stay with her cheek resting against the firmness of Killian’s chest, his heart beating a steady rhythm that reaffirms nothing and everything all at once. But she knows that she has to move, that at least one of them does if they want clean sheets tonight, and thankfully for her it’s Killian moving first, his lips brushing against the crown of her head before he moves and her cheek falls against a pillow. It’s comfortable, but it’s not quite the same.

By the time he comes back and sweetly cleans her up, she can feel her eyes fluttering closed, the business of the day catching up to her, but she also can feel a heaviness in her breasts, one she knows she can’t sleep with, so she does eventually get out of bed, going through their bags until she can find her breast pump. It’s a new normal, a normal she loves even with its inconveniences, and as Killian settles down next to her in bed, the muscles in his thighs obvious in her eyeline while he has one arm wrapped around her shoulder, his fingers playing with the tips of her hair as always, she thinks about how good all of these changes are.

“What do you want to eat, my love?” he asks as the machine makes this awful noise that happens nearly every time.

“Is it not too late for room service?”

“I’m sure they’re probably not expecting an order, but it does say it’s always available.”

She hums, closing her eyes for a moment, sleep calling her again almost as much as the food does, almost as much as her instinct to wonder what exactly it is that Andy is doing right now. Is he asleep? Did he eat using the bottle? Has he cried too much? Does he miss her? Can he sleep without she or Killian being there to soothe him? Does he even know that she’s gone?

“I miss him too, love,” Killian promises, and she wonders if she voiced her thoughts out loud or not, “but Dave texted me to let me know that all is good. He’s been fast asleep for hours.”

“Is he happy, do you think?”

“Of course he is.” When she feels Killian’s lips brush across her forehead, she has to close her eyes and take a deep breath in an attempt to keep the tears that are stinging behind her eyes from falling. It’s the strangest feeling in the world to struggle being apart from someone who can’t even speak yet, but she’s got this heaviness in the pit of her stomach about not being with him. She worries about something happening, about her not being there for it, and she knows that she needs to change her course of thought before she falls into the deepest of rabbit holes.

“He’s happy,” Killian insists again, “and I hope you are too. I love you.”

“I love you,” she whispers back as she rests her head on his shoulder. “What kind of food do they have?”

“Whatever your heart desires.”

She’s not even entirely sure what Killian orders, but she knows it’s all indulgent and probably too much for them. While they wait, she hangs up her gown, making sure not to mess it up for when she wants to wear it again, and begins the long process of removing her makeup and brushing through her hair, which is only more tangles now from the way Killian’s fingers tangled themselves in it and from the way sweat gathered at the nape of her neck. But eventually she’s makeup free with her hair in a simple braid, and she’s changed into pajamas that are possibly the softest thing in the world. She thought about not getting dressed, figuring that she and Killian won’t let this night be a one-time thing, but she really likes these shorts and top.

It’s a night full of indulgence, of letting themselves fall back into who they are when they’re not parents, and she absolutely stuffs her face with macaroni that’s far too fancy when she would literally eat it out of the box and with this cherry and chocolate cake that she really wants to take home with her. She might get to with the way that Killian has some of it on his cheek, the chocolate icing smeared right over the scar that resides there. She doesn’t know why, but it makes her lose herself in laughter, her stomach literally convulsing with happiness, and she’s pretty sure that it’s some kind of chain reaction thing as Killian laughs too.

His laugh is one of the good ones.

The clock ticks past three before they finally fall asleep, food put away and pajamas discarded just like she knew that they would be, and she can actually feel the smile on her face, happiness practically radiating off of her, and she dips into a slumber with the solid, steady rhythm of Killian’s heartbeat against her cheek.

It was a damn good date, one she’d like to repeat over and over again, but as they languidly get ready the next morning, enjoying the softness of the sheets and the pillows too much to get out of bed too early, she feels a bit of anxiousness wanting to be back with her child. Killian won’t admit to it, but she knows that he does too by the way his fingers fidget against her thigh and the way that he checks his phone to see if her parents have said anything else. So much earlier than they probably intended, they get Thomas to guide them out of the hotel and drive them to her parents’ house.

He’s waiting for her in his swing in the living room when she walks in the room, and her heart absolutely lifts or resettles or does something insane when he smiles up at her, recognition in his light blue eyes that she’s decided are going to stay that way forever.

“Hey, little man,” she sighs, a giggle escaping her as she smatters kisses across his face, relief settling over her that he’s just the same as he was when she left him. “I missed you so much.”

She holds onto him tightly, checking all of his features, before handing him to Killian because she knows that he needs the comfort too. She can see it in his eyes, the way they flutter closed when Andy is first in his arms, and she continues to feel the same way that that she has all night.

Happy.

“You ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Killian sighs, smiling down at her before he dips his head to quickly glide his lips over hers all the while Andy squeals in his arms, “I am.”

#second in command #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic

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