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jenoismydad · 4 years ago

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2 + 3 = You In Me

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Pairing: Tutor!Jaemin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut (pwp), Slight Angst, College AU

Words: 4.6k+

Warnings: 18+ content. Unprotected sex.

Synopsis: He agrees to tutor you and you end up becoming good friends even though you both so clearly want to be more. What happens when you let you bodies talk for you?

Jaemin was coming over to help you prepare for a test. You had no clue how he'd agreed to assist you, but you were thankful nonetheless. Jaemin rarely ever studied with girls. Mostly because they were always hitting on him. But it seemed you were an exception. You wondered why but you figured it was because he was trying to make some extra money.

Yes, Jaemin made you pay him. He made everyone pay him so you didn't think too much of it. From what you'd heard, his methods never failed to prove effective. You hoped he could help you study well enough to pass this test. After all, a majority of your grade depended on it.

You'd spent a good amount of your time trying to prepare a nice study space for you both to sit at in your apartment. So far you'd only managed to clean your coffee table and place two cushions for seats at its feet.

Jaemin would be here any minute. You rushed to get everything you'd need for the day, wanting to keep it all ready so that you wouldn't have to interrupt the study session. Your bell rang not soon after. He was here on time.

Opening the door, you welcomed him with a smile. He nodded and entered without a word. Black track pants and a plain white shirt. Jaemin hadn't made much of an effort to dress to impress. He ventured into your dorm, looking around the place silently.

That's when he came across your makeshift study zone. He pointed at it and looked at you.

"We're studying here," he asked, placing his hands in his pockets. He sounded a tad bit dejected. Your eyes widened slightly in panic. Was he not comfortable with sitting on the floor? "Yeah, I figured. Is there a problem," you asked, fearing the worst for no reason. Jaemin shook his head. "Nope, I just thought we were gonna sit in your room. That's where most of the girls take me anyways," he revealed, flashing you a small grin. You immediately felt at ease.

"My room's kind of a mess at the moment," you admitted, joining him near your couch. He took a seat on the floor, placing the cushion behind his back instead. He cleaned his black-rimmed glasses and patted the space next to himself. "Let's get started."

Jaemin was a pro at breaking down the complex concept so that your pea-sized brain could understand it to the fullest. The only drawback with that method was that it took much longer than you'd like it to. Two hours later you'd only finished one of the chapters that would be coming for the test. You still had four more to go.

"Fuck it's already three o'clock," you complained, falling dramatically on the coffee table. Jaemin flipped his pen in his fingers and stretched his body with a yawn. "I don't mind staying overtime," he joked. He'd made a lot of humoring comments during your time with him. The last you'd heard, he tended to be quite serious, never straying from his purpose. Not that you minded or anything, but Jaemin wasn't really meeting the expectations everyone had set for him in your mind. Maybe they were just trying to intimidate you.

"Don't you have to study too," you asked, turning your head to glance at him. He looked at you and shook his head. "I already studied beforehand. Plus, this test's gonna be super easy. You pass it with a breeze," he admitted. As relieving as that sounded, you didn't wanna take any chances. What if he flunked the test because he didn't revise or something. You really didn't want to be the person he blamed when that happened.

"You don't have to stay for my sake. You can go home if you want to. I think I can manage on my own now." you flipped through the pages of your coursebook, sighing in despair. It was a lot to go through. At least you still had half the day left.

Jaemin folded his arms. "Don't worry about me y/n. Not to undermine you, but I don't think you can get through all of this by yourself. I mean, you barely managed to understand the basics. All those chapters just branch off from this one and get increasingly tough to learn."

If this was him trying to convince you to let him stay then it sure as hell was working. You groaned and sat back up. "You promise you won't fail the test because of me then?" Jaemin chuckled. "Of course not. I'll pass with flying colors."

So you resumed studying. Jaemin was right. What he taught you next was more confusing than the first chapter you'd covered. You regretted not paying attention during your lectures. Jaemin never got impatient with you. In fact, he took ample time to make sure you understood everything he explained to you. He was very thorough and you appreciated that. However the more knowledge you absorbed, the more exhausted you felt. It got to the point where you felt like you couldn't study any further. Jaemin then suggested that you take a small break. You couldn't have agreed faster.

"Once we're done you should go through the practice questions that I emailed you," Jaemin reminded, taking a sip of the soda you'd offered him. You gave him a thumbs up and fell on the ground. "You're a lifesaver Na Jaemin."

Jaemin chuckled and turned to you. "I'm guessing it's not just math that you're having a problem with."

You raised your head and narrowed your eyes at him. "Nicely deduced."

"We can get together to study together for your other subjects if you don't mind. No need to pay me either," he offered.

You furrowed your brows. "Jaemin the longer you spend teaching me the dumber you're gonna get."

He brushed you off. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that."

"You never know, and besides, after today you should know that it's gonna take five hundred years to clear all my concepts. Do you even have that kind of time?"

Jaemin tilted his soda can at you. "You'd be surprised at how much free time I have on my hands."

You smiled. "Wait so you're actually agreed to be my personal tutor."

Jaemin rolled his eyes amusedly. "It was my proposition but yes. I wouldn't be your personal tutor though. Just a study partner."

You sat up and leaned back. "So like, studying in the library after class and stuff like that?"

He nodded. "If the library's closed we can come here or I can take you to my place."

You pursed your lips, considering his deal. But something paused your train of thoughts. "Wait a minute. Why are you asking me this all of a sudden? You hardly seem like the type of guy who'd study with someone else."

Jaemin downed his drink, wincing at the fizziness that clawed at his throat. "I've had fun studying with you so far. Like, you're genuinely dumb, unlike some other people I tutor who just pretend to be dumb so they can spend a few hours with me."

You raised a brow. Had he just called you dumb? "I'll try not to take offense, thank you very much."

Jaemin apologized with a laugh.

"Does it make you feel smarter in some type of way," you asked? Jaemin hummed in response. "It kinda does now that you mention it. But I also feel like it would help me revise and clear my own concepts at the same time."

That made sense. "Damn, and here I was thinking you wanted to do this cause you were interested in me."

Jaemin's eyes widened. You raised your hands in defense. "It's just a joke. Don't take it seriously," you assured. Jaemin relaxed at that.

"Let's get started again. We're almost halfway there," he said, changing the topic. You agreed and sat beside him again, pen in hand, ready to go.

You walked out of your lecture with a bright smile on your face and headed straight to the library. Sure enough, Jaemin was already sitting there, waiting for you patiently. You sent him a small wave and skipped over to him. Handing him your graded test paper, you watched excitedly as his eyes lit up.

"Oh my god. You passed!"

You squealed and sat next to him, placing your bag near your feet. Jaemin smiled up at you. "This is such a good score," he added, glad that he'd been able to help.

"Henceforth we're studying together for every single test. I don't care if you're sick or at a friend's house."

Jaemin laughed and nodded. "Sure thing. If it means seeing you this happy then I'm down."

You froze at his words, glancing towards him. He clearly didn't seem to realize what he'd just said. Maybe you'd heard wrong. It was possible. After all, he was whispering. You didn't exactly have the best track record when it came to listening anyways. Concluding that you were mistaken, you pulled out your books and got to finishing up your assignments.

A few hours later Jaemin and you exited the library. You both usually parted ways since your dorms were in the opposite direction. However today, Jaemin followed behind you.

"What are you doing," you asked when he jogged up next to you. "We should celebrate your achievement today," he suggested. That sounded nice. "Okay then, what do you propose we should do?"

Jaemin pondered on your question. "Let's go to the cafe. I'll buy you coffee and anything else you want."

Coffee was perfect. You nodded and agreed. Jaemin grinned and led you to a small cafe that was just a little outside campus.

You both entered the small shop, the tantalizing scent of coffee hitting your senses immediately. Even though it was almost lunchtime, the cafe was brimming with multitudes of students. Luckily, the queue was short.

"Go find us somewhere nice to sit. I'll buy us some drinks," Jaemin said, pulling out his phone. Before you left, you let him know what you'd like.

Venturing to the back of the cafe, you found a secluded booth for two. It faced a large window, one that gave a fantastic view of the campus. You took a seat and placed your bag next to you. After a couple minutes of waiting, Jaemin emerged with your drinks in hand. He handed you yours before sitting down.

"Iced Americano? I see you're into the classics," you chimed, deciding to spark up a conversation. Jaemin took a sip of his drink. "Simple is the best after all."

Of course, it was. "Hey Jaemin," you started, setting your drink down on the table. He hummed. "Do you wanna come over later today," you asked. Jaemin furrowed his brows. "But we already finished studying."

You shook your head. "Not to study. Let's hang out, maybe watch a movie or something like that."

He seemed a bit taken aback, but nothing too alarming. It was just that you two never really did anything other than study together. Sure enough, you'd become close because of it. But you figured as friends, there were other things you could engage in to pass the time.

"Let's do it. What time should I come over," Jaemin asked? "Does seven work for you? I'll order pizza, so you don't need to worry about dinner."

Jaemin nodded. "Seven works for me."

As soon as the clock struck seven, there was a knock on your door. The ever punctual Jaemin would never be a second late. You let him in, eager to get your night started. He walked into your dorm and went straight to your room, plopping down on your bed as if it were his own.

You'd already been browsing on Netflix, wondering what genre he liked. It had never come up in conversation before so you didn't really know.

"What are we watching," he asked, scrolling through the options. You shrugged and joined him on your bed. "I'm not sure. I didn't know what you like," you admitted.

"I usually just watch whatever's in the top ten or 'new this week'," he shared. He stopped at a movie you would never have believed he'd be interested in.

"You wanna watch Yes Day," you asked in disbelief? Jaemin giggled and nodded innocently. "It looks super lame but I've already finished watching everything," he revealed. Here you were thinking you both would watch something more serious instead of a family movie. Instead of spending forty minutes trying to settle on one movie, you decided it best to just go with the first choice.

Jaemin started the movie and leaned back beside you. It was quiet between you both for the most part. You watched the movie in silence. It wasn't as entertaining as you'd thought it would be, but Jaemin seemed to be engrossed in it so you chose to say nothing and continued staring at the screen.

Halfway into the movie, Jaemin stifled a yawn and fell to the side, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He looked at you and pointed to the screen. "Are we gonna keep watching this?"

You let out a breath of relief and exited out of the movie once and for all. "If you didn't like it why'd you make me watch it," you complained, shutting your laptop. Jaemin sat up and crossed his legs. "I thought you were enjoying it. You even laughed at the funny parts."

You stuck your chin out. "You should know what my fake laugh sounds like by now Jaemin." He raised his hands in defense. "The only time I hear you laugh is when you realize you're doing something wrong."

You tsked. "That's called nervous laughter genius. You suck at interpreting emotions."

He hit you with a pillow softly. "Hey, stop making me out for a robot."

"You're the human embodiment of the AI," you joked, dodging the pillow he swung at you. Raising your hands in defense, you shielded yourself from him. "At least I said you're intelligent."

Jaemin paused his attacks. "You're lucky I think you're cute. I'll let you off the hook for now."

You had another one of those moments where you froze, wondering if the words that had come out of his mouth were true or not. He didn't whisper this time. You'd heard everything word for word. But you couldn't believe it.

"Did you just call me cute?"

Jaemin nodded, not seeming too surprised about it. "You aren't not cute," he added. Maybe you were misinterpreting the meaning behind it. Friends called friends cute. It was normal. That didn't mean that they liked each other, did it?

Noticing the conflict in your expression, Jaemin leaned forward and cleared his throat. "I didn't mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way."

Something about that made your stomach churn. You felt uneasy all of a sudden. You wanted to be relieved, that he didn't think of you as more than a friend. But a part of you wished he felt otherwise. You didn't know why, it just did.

You chuckled awkwardly and faced him. "Yeah, of course, you didn't. I don't know why I thought that."

Jaemin hummed and rested his chin on his palm. "Maybe because you wanted it to be true."

"Huh?"

"Maybe you wanted me to tell you that I like you."

You didn't know what to say to that. So you just smiled awkwardly. "But you don't, do you?"

Jaemin grinned. "Do you want me to?"

"No! Of course not, why would I-"

"I'm just messing with you y/n. Don't worry, we're just friends," he assured, finding you getting alarmed quite amusing. You hit his shoulder. "Don't joke around like that. Who knows what might happen."

Jaemin's laughter died down. He met your gaze sombrely. You knew he wanted to say something, but he remained silent. His eyes traveled down to your lips for a moment. You sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling giddy. Jaemin looked back into your eyes, this time with a small smile. You didn't know what he was doing. You also didn't know if you liked it or not. Your mind said one thing and your body said another. Jaemin subtly licked his lips. You had no clue why the action had such a devastating effect on you.

Before you knew it, your lips were on his. Jaemin didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, he relaxed and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body onto his. He fell back on your mattress, bringing you on top of him. Straddling his lap, you placed your hands on either side of his head, kissing him with vigor. Jaemin groaned against your mouth, the sound sending warm shivers down your back. His lips were softer than you thought they'd be and he tasted faintly of coffee.

His hands slipped under your shirt, resting on your skin. His touch felt fiery hot. You rolled your hips over his lap impulsively, biting his both lip as a throaty groan left his mouth. He squeezed your waist and trailed his hands down to your ass.

Before things could escalate, however, your bell rang. You both stilled, separating from each other. When your eyes met, you scrambled off of him and sat at the edge of your bed, completely stunned. Jaemin rubbed his face and sat up as well, not really knowing what to say. The bell rang again, snapping you out of your daze. "I'll go get that," you muttered disorientedly, leaving Jaemin in your room. He nodded and stood up. "Actually, I'm gonna go," he said, leaving your room before you could say anything. You heard the door open and shut soon after. Your bell rang again.

You went to open your door. A delivery guy stood before you, hands empty with a confused look on his face. "The guy that just left took the pizza with him. He said that you'd pay for it." You couldn't believe it. Nonetheless, you paid the man and shut your door. What had just happened?

A few days passed after the incident at your dorm. Jaemin hadn't called or texted you and in all honesty, you hadn't made an attempt to contact him. You felt too embarrassed to face him. After all, it was you who'd gone onto him. Even if he didn't push you away it wasn't like either of you had agreed to start making out. You were anxious because you knew you'd ruined your friendship with him.

A part of you missed him. You enjoyed spending time with him, even though all you did was study. Everything was so bleak now that he wasn't around to humor you.

You didn't want to regret whatever had happened that night. It was amazing. You just wished it hadn't ended the way it did. You should have understood that he indeed was joking. Instead, you mistook his prodding for sarcasm.

It made no sense for you to not speak to him. You wanted to make amends, figure out what had gone wrong. But you were scared he'd ignore you. That would just make you feel worse than you already did.

So you passed the days, wafting in your own misery. Pitying yourself as if the entire weight of the world had been thrown on your shoulders.

Little did you know that all it would take was another shitty test score for you to pick up your phone and call Jaemin.

"Help me study," you said as soon as he answered the call. Jaemin was silent on the other end. "Don't just listen to me. Say something," you begged. Your heart felt heavy. You heard him sigh. "I'd rather not y/n." You got goosebumps. "Jaemin, please. We can go to fucking library if that makes you feel better," you suggested, desperate for him to agree. After giving it some thought he finally answered you. "Okay fine. Tomorrow at three. But no longer than three hours."

He hung up, leaving you feeling a tad bit better. You looked forward to the next day. Hopefully, he wouldn't act indifferent to you.

Jaemin sat in your usual spot at the library. He was on his phone, leg crossed over his lap leisurely. You walked up to him and took a seat beside him without a word. Seeing you had arrived, he put his phone away and turned to you. "What are we studying?"

You took out your books and opened them. "This."

Jaemin glanced over the material. No wonder you'd flunked your test. He sighed, placing the textbook between you two. Without wasting a second, he began tutoring you.

No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't pay attention. You were too busy staring at his face, more specifically his lips. They way he'd lick them ever so often made butterflies soar in your stomach. He'd run his hand through his fluffy hair and adjust his glasses, letting your mind run wild. Jaemin didn't seem to notice your lack of focus. You figured he didn't really care. He kept glancing at his watch. It was like he was waiting for your time with him to come to an end.

Much to your dismay, eventually it did.

"I'll send you a picture of some practice material. You can use that to prepare better," he concluded, getting up from his seat. You quickly stuffed your books in your bag and ran after him.

"Jaemin wait!"

He paused. "What," he asked as he turned around. He sounded disinterested. "Can we talk," you asked? Jaemin sighed and shrugged. "What do you wanna talk about," he questioned, placing his hands in his pockets. "About what happened at my place last week."

Jaemin tensed up. "It was a mistake. I think we both understood that."

You shook your head. "I don't know Jaemin, I'm not sure I did."

He furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wouldn't have kissed you unless I wanted to. Not just that but you wouldn't have let it go so far if you thought it was wrong."

He seemed at a loss for words.

"When you called me cute, you did mean it in an 'I have a crush on you' type of way." You didn't need an answer for him to know you were correct.

"What are you trying to say y/n," he asked, sounding defeated.

"That I like you," you admitted. Jaemin's eyes widened. "And that you like me too," you added.

Jaemin bit his lip. "Okay, so then why were we acting like we hated each other for so long?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you overthink everything and I'm a big pussy."

Jaemin chuckled and slung his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry about that babe."

You cringed at the nickname. "Don't 'babe' me. We're not dating. Not yet."

Jaemin rolled his eyes. "Does it really need to be that formal?"

You nodded adamantly. "Of course it does."

He sighed. "Fine. Will you go out with me y/n?"

You smiled and shook your head. "I'd rather not Jaemin."

"Yeah whatever," he said with a scoff, leading you outside.

As soon as you were past your door Jaemin's lips were on yours in an instant. He pushed you against the wall, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his shoulders, sighing into his mouth. "I missed you so fucking much," he muttered, stumbling to your room.

He dropped you on your bed and hovered over you, staring down at you somberly before kissing you again. His lips didn't stay on yours for too long, trailing down to your jaw and then your neck. You tugged at his shirt, urging him to take it off. When he did, you stared at his chiseled body in awe. "I didn't know you worked out."

Jaemin chuckled at your comment and pulled your own shirt off. He flicked the tiny bow on your bra with an amused grin. "This is cute."

You nudged his arm timidly. "I wasn't exactly preparing myself for this moment."

He said nothing further and latched his lips to your neck once again. Running your fingers through his hair, you craned your neck to the side to give him more access. He gently sucked on your skin, not too harsh that it would leave marks. You sighed and fiddled with the waistband of his sweatpants. "Do you want it off," he asked quietly, lips ghosting over yours. You nodded, biting your lip when he pushed his pants down.

His member came into sight, making your mouth water.

Taking your hand in his, he brought it to his cock. Your fingers wrapped around his girth instinctively. Jaemin suck in a breath as he made you stroke his length. His hand slipped past your panties, fingers toying with your clit. You gasped and spread your legs wider, loving the way his calloused fingertips felt. Tightening your grip around his cock, you jerked him off earnestly. In turn, Jaemin began rubbing quick circles into your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Letting go of his member, you hastily pushed your pants down your legs. Jaemin peeled your panties off of you, marveling at the sight of your glistening pussy. "Don't just stare," you complained, shutting your legs, "do something."

Jaemin wordlessly, spread your legs apart and settled down between your thighs. He glanced up at your through his lashes, asking for permission before licking a stripe up your folds. You pushed your hips against his mouth, eyes falling shut when he repeated the action. Holding onto your thighs, he nipped and sucked at your clit, groaning every time your bucked your hips into his face. You gripped onto his hair, tugging at his roots. Jaemin's fingers prodded at your slit, slowly entering your walls. He curled them up, making your arch your back in delight. It felt so good. He knew exactly what he was doing.

With his tongue skillfully moving over your clit and his fingers continuously pumping in and out of you, it didn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach. You sat up, pulling his mouth off of your cunt. "I need you to fuck me now." Your voice was hushed, breathless because of how much you'd moaned. Jaemin's eyes had darkened considerably. He pushed you down on your back again and pressed his tip to your entrance.

Jaemin felt bigger than he looked. Not that you were complaining or anything, it just took a while to get used to. He made sure you were comfortable before slowly starting to pound into you.

You grabbed his arms as he fastened his pace, head falling back in ecstasy. Shallow breaths left his parted lips. "You feel so good," he muttered, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath was hot on your skin. You wrapped your arms around his neck, humming in response. You were close. Jaemin could tell.

Gripping onto your waist, he went faster, slamming his cock into you as he chased your highs. You cried out his name, squeezing your eyes shut. Your walls clenched tightly around his length, your orgasm crashing down on you intensely. Soon enough, he twitched inside you. His thighs stilled, hips snapping into you one last time before thick ropes of his cum shot into your walls. He let out a pleased groan, voice deep and raspy.

"That was amazing," you breathed, pushing your hair out of your face as Jaemin moved off of you. He smiled and tugged his pants back on, joining you under the covers. "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Jaemin pulled you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. You laughed to yourself. "What is it," Jaemin asked. You shook your head, looking at him. "To think this all started after you agreed to tutor me."

tagging: @neosmutcollective @hoehousenet @kdiarynet @kafenetwork @nct-writers @ficscafe @whipped-kpop-creators @kpopscape

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popculturebuffet · 3 years ago

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Go Team Venture! A Venture Bros Retrospective: Season 4A

Hello all you happy venturoos! I”m jake and I review comics and animation, and today we return to the world of guys in costumes, stuffed dead cats, batman obessed blond mop heads, super science shenanigans and naked men, as my Venture Bros retrospective makes it’s triumphant return!

For those of you who missed the looks at the first three seasons, which is fair the season 3 review was two months ago, here's some links

Season 1!

Season 2!

Season 3!

The short version: Since high school i’ve been a huge fan of the Venture Bros, but due to my watch queue being as bit as the posts linked above and this one your reading, I simply never got around to it. So late last year when I decided to continue the trend i’d started of starting a review of something I love dearly to the point it’s a part of my very soul, the choice was obvious and thus this look back at the series had began. Like with Scott Pilgrim I noticed tons of deeper things about the series I hadn’t before, re-evaluated episodes I once hated, got to enjoy ones I loved again and found some.. were just as crappy as always. Hello Fallen Arches, Love Bheits, Guess Whose Coming to State Dinner, and an episode we’ll get to shortly. I got to bask in the titular bros shenanigans, recoil in horror at just how low Doc could sink, and see the badassery and jerkassery of brock sampson and many many more in this stuffed to perfection cast.

So with how well this was going you might wonder why I stopped.

Okay I do have some but I coudln’t resist that gag. The first delay was because I got sick unexpedetly and had to push it back as it was the only review I could afford to. As for the second it’s ironically for the same reason this season got cut in half: Much like Jackson I was burnt out after stupidly overtaxing myself and thus delayed some things rather than half ass them. These reviews mean a lot and just like Jackson i’d rather things take longer than come out half assed and exausted. Thankfully a few days off last week, even with ANOTHER cold because I have Rusty’s luck without actually deserving any of it, did the trick and i’m primed and ready to jump into what is easily my favorite season, and I feel comfortable saying that both having only rewatched one half and having had to sit through Perchance to Dean again. By episode 4 the season is on full blast, taking everything that made the show work thus far from oddly specific references, to the gorgeous art direction, to the fatnastically lived in and well constructed world to the titular boys themselves, and took it to it’s peak. The first three seasons are good, especially seasons 2 and 3.. but season 4 is damn near perfect.

As usual before we get into the season itself we have to see how the sausage gets made. And the key part of this one’s development was burnout. Season 3 was the first season they had made that had the promise of another one. It’s WHY they upended the show: As Doc pulled it its’ no fun to do something like say, killing 24 or having brock quit, something that changes the shows dna.. and then just walking away. You don’t end on a cliffhanger unless your sure you’ll get to resolve it. It’s why Doc and Jackson were so determined to find some way to end things after season 7: having Hank leave possibly forever is not the note you end a series on, it’s the kind of note you play knowing it’s leading into another song. It also meant having to shelve an episode idea till next time was less frustrating: for all the ones the big status quo shifts would make unwritable, there were dozens more that would be just fine next time.

The problem was, much like myself, Jackson overestimated just how much he could do and how long it would take. As such he expected to be ahead of schedule and fell horribly behind instead, something I again know all too well and something that according to Doc he does every year. It’s just this year he didn’t have the gap between seasons to recharge his creative batteries so they burst into flame on him. All but one of the episodes aren’t bad and the one that is isn’t because of burnout, so he didn’t let the work suffer but having put so much into it he was about ready to collapse and utterly behind when he got to what would become the season 6b premire “The Diving Bell Vs The Butter Glider” he had the ideas.. but he just coudln’t bring himself to make the script.

Doc was fully supportive as like any sane person when he hears a person screaming I need a break his first inscint isn’t to crack the whip and increase the crunch like too many assholes out there in creative fields.. but to let Jackson slow the fuck down. Jackson went to the network and convinced them to let him split the season in half and add a few extra episodes: Adult Swim gets basically two seasons of it’s most popular show and Jackson gets a LITTLE rest. They didn’t really STOP or anything, they just didn’t have to go as hard and despite being exausted to hell in the second half we’ll get to next month, Jackson still was utterly proud of what he produced and never made the mistake to not have a decent gap between seasons again. And look most shows do come out at a once a year clip, but I can’t blame the guys for working at their own pace, epsecially having to do dvd stuff, promotion, all sorts of other things going on around each season.

As for why keep the split it’s two reasons: the first is that i’ts simply less exausting to do two batches of 8 episodes versus one motherfucker big 16 episode giant, 17 really as Prom is double length. I have my limits and while these reviews are some of my faviorite work i’ve ever done they still take a LOT out of me. And that’s knowing one of the next shows i’m going to going to do full season reviews like this of has 24 eps a season. But said eps are 11 minutes, so it’s a bit easier to swallow compared to trying to cram down 15 half hours and one full our in the span of a month. How Totally Not Mark does WAY more than that every month, even without two other reviews in the week to consider, I have NO idea. More than that it also just.. feels right to split the season. While on a nostalgic level it’s how I watched it both halves , while making a whole together, still FEEL like their own seasons with their own dedicated premires. More than that thanks to Brock’s absence 4a just has it’s own feel and even it’s own status quos for Gary and Hank that get shifted a bit next season. While hank is still a tad more rebellious and mature and gary still entirely badass while still very much gary, both shift in priortities with Hank having his absent surrogate dad back in his life, thus having no need to rebel against his other authority figures anymore, and Gary questioning the life he’s chosen. We’ll obviously get to those more next month, but you get my point: each part while making a whole together is it’s own thing, kinda like how the two halves of amphibia seasons 2 and 3 each feel very diffrent from each other while still flowing into one another. So it just makes the most sense to do each part on it’s own. So with that let’s begin this journey with the first part as Hatred moves in, brock moves out and 24 dosen’t really move on so much as talk to his halluciation of his best friends ghost.

Content Warning:

This Review Contains mentions of Pedophilia as one of the main cast members at this point is a former pedophile, as it will sexual assault. Discretion is advised

The Season(Piece) and Me

When making the intro I forgot to get into how I experienced the season way back when, or at least this part. And despite this review being a meaty boy that took several days, I still felt I needed to go back and add it. The whole reason i’m doing this project, and frankly do most of my projects, is it means something to me. Sure I take comissions and patreons and gladly, i’m getting paid to do what I love. I’d never walk that back and I do have to sign off on the thing i’m reviewing before I actually agree to take money. But one of the best joys of this job is just getting to jaw on about works I truly love, the good and the bad of them. And on rare occasions tearing apart things I truly hate, see you next month Quagmire’s Dad!, but my point is I do this retrospective out of love and the deep history I have with the show so not sharing it now we’re in the thick of me watching it one on one is just silly.

So by now I was hooked, having written my own utterly terrible fourth season during sophmore year of High School.. it’s thankfully lost to time. I loved this show so while I checked season 3 out casually this was the first season I went into hyped as hell and obviously it did not disapoint. This really was the golden era of my being a venture bros fan: the mantis eye experiment, a fansite that not only still exists but is where I get most of the screencaps for the episode guide, allowed me to talk about the episodes as my struggle to find people who share some of my werid intrests is eternal apparently, and it was just pure fun. I got to see things progress and change, the characters truly evolve and ooo and ahh as the show really hit it’s peak. It was a great time to be alive and to be a venture fan.

Seasonal Stylings

Starting us off is something I don’t feel i’ve gushed enough about in general but hits it’s stride here: the animation. The show has always had a gorgeous art direction, essentially being a filmation superhero show or a hannah barbera action show if it had the actual budget it deserved, and every season it’s improved from being slightly chonky but still lovely in season 1 to improving on that and helping it become more cinematic in season 2 to the HD upscale last season that reworked the character models to fit the shows art evolution.

Now with Season 4 and most of the characters getting a redesign the art direction truly has hit it’s stride and it’ll keep, and sometimes up, this level of quality from here on out. Last season was the show upgrading to HD, wisely knowing that’s where things were headed. This year was the show taking that to it’s ultimate form.

Said redesigns are also all cherry: Brock and co’s sphinx unfiorms should absolutley not work, being poo brown with some gold accents. But they look damn cool and the muted brown fits their off the books gone rogue approach to tackling super villany. LIkewise hank gets my faviorite look for him here, only rivaled by his seasons 6 and 7 rainbow jacket and hella good hair: the grown out hair and brock’s jacket, draped over the team uniform or his pjs depending on what time of day it is. We also get 21′s upgrade to buff as hell wolverine style badass. I also do love Team Venture’s new look, something I didn’t notice as a teen. Ala the fantastic four they now all have the same uniform, with Hank naturally adding his own touch with the jacket. We’ll get more into what that means story wise in a moment but It’s clear jackson and doc took the big changes as an excuse to really have some fun. In the past the characters generally stuck to their classic looks, with only Shelia getting a big change with the dr. mrs the monarch suit but here everyone in the main cast gets changes great and small with only monarch keeping his classic outfit and SHielia sticking with her change up from last season which fits: both are in the most stable place they’ve been since season 1 so unlike everyone else, who is going thorugh a lot of upheavel, why WOULD they change.

Change is the theme of the season. The first three seasons had a strong continuity and a mini arc here or there: Richard Impossible’s degrading marriage and sally leaving him, JJ slowly getting disllusioned with his big brother, the order of the triad trying to function as a team, dean’s crush on triana slowly progressing. Just some things on the outskirts. But as far as the main cast was concerned only the monarch had any lasting changes to his life: he had a messy entirely his fault breakup with his girlfriend, got framed by her ex, went to prison, adjusted poorly without her, won her back thanks to a combo of Dr. Henry Killinger (and his magical murder bag) and Shielia realizing why she left limb in the first place, succesfully wedding her despite Phantom Limbs attempted guild mutiny and bride abduction, and having to TRY to not arch venture before eventually finding his way back within the rules. While Malcom didn’t change a LOT as a character he still went through a lot and it effect his arching every time.

In contrast team venture remained mostly the same. Hank and Dean did evolve as characters, with Hank going from a jock bully moron to an intensely weird, immensely loveable, and entirely specific weirdo who thinks he’s batman instead of barely qualifying for robin and is the only one in his group who enjoys this superhero crap like anyone else caught in this vortex, whlie Dean went from a put upon nerd to a proudly geeky in the 60′s style nerd who is unabashidely optimstic, naive and sweet, while Brock slowly grew to accept his roll as nanny before the stress of it lead to him noping out. Rusty remained pretty much the same asshole just marginally better every season

But their core deal was the same: Doc was a failing super scietnest resulting to increasingly shady side hustles to get by, Brock was his best friend, loyal body guard and constantly failing at his job because Doc won’t listen concisence who kills anything that dares threaten his found family, Hank batusi’s into danger despite having no buisness doing so and dean has a panic attack. together they get arched by a jackass in a butterfly suit (and for one season a recovering pedophile with a military gimmick) when their not on globetrotting adventures or dealing with the remains of rusty’s latest bad decision. The show never rested on it’s formula or anything but there was an inherent saftey in the core status quo. A combination of Brock Mothefucking Sampson and having survived far worse meant that while we knew rusty COULD die in the shit he kept getting thrown into, he probably woudln’t, while the boys not only had the brock saftey net but also the clone one. As long as they were arround, they were imortal.

Season 3′ sending cleverly cut both safety nets to ribbons: Brock is not only gone but he’s replaced by Hatred. As Jackson put it Brock occasionally did badass herculean feats of strength, stuff no normal man could do and even some paranormal men would say “fuck that” to trying. Hatred is just a middle aged guy who wouldn’t be out of place at possum lodge who only has guns, army/osi/guild training, and inside baseball knowhow of the guild. He can protect his unit sure, but he’s just not the guaranteed instant win button. Meanwhile the clones are gone: they grow in real time and even if Doc COULD make more, The OSI is making sure he DOESN’T. The Boys are the last one he has.

With the safety net gone and someone whose not even remotely like brock taking up his old duties... it cleverly changes things. The ventures are now bolted to the compound and doc has switched from get rich quick schemes aborad to simply renting out to whoever will take it. The old offsceen adventures are gone and what’s left is a family struggling to hold it together when their heart ripped himself out and walked away. And as a result the family is BARELY holdling it together in this part: While Doc TRIES to be a parent it only works with dean, who he affectionately mentors. With Hank he’s just somehow even more of an ass to him than anyone he’s ever been an ass to (which given he reached one hundred on the “Rusty Sucks Suprising No One Count” last season is saying something), and Hatred just isn’t good like brock was at ballancing that out, with hank rejecting him most of the time and for understandable reasons (he replaced his dad and also tried to molest him. I can’t blame the kid) Meanwhile hank acts out more as a result of both loosing brock and his dad being a dick. Dean is really the only one whose got it together this season and that’s only by a hair. The family was always dysfunctional but now they’ve hit their lowest point and it will only get marginally better from here.

It changes up the show.. and for the better. It shakes things up at just the right time: three seasons isn’t a bad amount ot keep a set status quo, getting fans used to the show.. and then shaking it to hell and back like Rusty probably did with the boys as babies. By changing everything the show was allowed to truly grow, having already slowly done so and hit it’s true peak. Anything could happen with Brock gone and it did: 21 became a badass, a new member joined the family, a longtime mainstay in triana exited, and things would only keep c-c-changing from here. And the show would only be better for it.

Roll Call

As usual we start with Doc who is trying to be a parent for once, staying at home to try and keep the kids safe.. not that this makes a ton of sense given most of the boys deaths HAPPENED in the home but hey, rusty’s life never makes a ton of sense and the boys have become marginally less death prone, and it is a place where he can keep a better eye on them before they do something suicidally stupid. He’ll NEVER be able to control costumed jackasses attacking him but he can at least try.

The problem is his efforts are so titled to one side i’m suprised Hank didn’t shoot off into the stratosphere. Doc IS geninely trying with dean, to guide him into doing actual science via giving him a lab (instead of growing experiments in the kitchen) and most heartwarmingly introducing him to his love of pro rock to inspire him. While he’ll be more of a pushy dickhead in later seasons toward dean following in his footsteps, here he’s gentle and when the guild invades his compound and you know, dosen’t realize how utterly horrible any of that would look to everyone inside, especially one fo their ex employees, Rusty not only gently helps his son with his panic vomiting , assuring him that’s half the reason to wear a speedsuit, he actually goes along with dean’s plans to confront them. It dosen’t go anywhere, but it’s heartwarming to see Doc REALLY trying for once, realizing that this is the last son he gets and now Dean CAN grow past being a teenager, it’s time to prepare him

The problem is while he’s being a good parent for once to Dean it’s ONLY Dean. While Hank IS acting out, refusing to accept Hatred as his new bodyguard and calling Doc insults , including my personal faviorite “A Honky”, both for the delivery on that line from Doc and the Monarch understandably snickering.. Doc predictably is being extra obnoxious about one of his sons finally defying his abusive ass. Over the course of the season he geneinly seem to consider not rescuing hank from the monarch (He actually does put in the effort to get him back but still), tries to bar him from using the bathroom, physically abuses him for the first time while blaming him for something he didn’t do and doesn’t really trace back to him, and snarks about Hank working in UPS as an adult. He is just awful to my boy all season and even putting me spiritually adopting hank aside, this is easily the worst i’ve seen rusty. We’ll get WHY he does this next time but it dosen’t make him any less awful for treating hank like this simply for acting out, especially since Rusty himself acted out plenty with his own dad in college. He’s also not great to Hatred.. to a point. His comparing him to brock constantly is just sad as it’s clear by the finale DOC is the reason Brock left the compound. Brock genuienly laments not being able to “tell the boys their safe” and misses them.. but while Doc will always be his close friend it’s clear he’s fed up with his crap and relishes getting to call him an ass. Doc had a good bodyguard by pure luck. Hatred is exactly what he deserves for his threat level and he just can’t accept he has to actually try now. That being said Hatred is also an ex pedophile who begged for the job, shows up naked in Doc’s room during an emergency, and unashamedly talks about how he was masturbating piror to being tranked. And look masturbation shouldn’t be stigmatized.. but Rusty is right Hatred dosen’t need to TELL him about it especially in an emergency. Just because you can and should be able to talk about masterbation dosen’t mean you HAVE to bring it up when you don’t have to.

We also have Doc finally get some therapy.. only to chuck it deciding he’s better than everyone else in the group. Which.. he is to a point. He makes a good point how unlike the hardy boys by way of the mendez brothers, patton oswalt’s robin and action johnny he is better off.. but being better off than the REST of his group dosen’t mean he’s better. It’s honestly.. sad. Doc DOES need help, he does need to grow but because the Monarch can’t grow up for five minutes and accept Rusty can have one night a week he dosen’t get arched, he looses that and convinces himself he dosen’t need it back. Once again the adventure life has cost him peace of mind, but this time he just accepts it. He probably would be more pissed the Monarch was interfering with his life than that he actually caused his therapy to end. Rusty NEED help: he has decades of trauma, abuses his kids, and is a former addict. He NEEDS someone to help him through his issues so he can be better... but the thing about mental health is you NEED to want help or it’s not going to take. You need to WANT help.

We’re also given the heartbreaking reason WHY he hasn’t gotten help: SHOCKINGLY Jonas gaslit his own son, playign therapist while really just bullying rusty for not wanting to have a grown man put an empty gun to his head and whisper “not today rusty”. Yeah even if Jonas isn’t playing the HUGE roll he did last season he still gets worse this season. So it’s easy to see why Rusty turned out this way and sad to see he can’t see the way to dig himself out of the hole his own poor decisions and his father's abuse buried him in.

Now onto Hank who out of the two boys gets the most development this season and part of that is his dope outfit change. I’m not one to take the side door, i’ll go up front and knock: i’m not a fan of Hank’s classic outift. It’s not terrible and provides a nice color contrast to Deans and as Hank points out this season he can rock a kerchief but it never worked for me. So it’s probably not a coincidence teen me finally noticed just how awesome hank was the same time he got a sweet new outfit, getting his own team uniform while adding Brock’s Jacket to it and growing out his hair. It’s not supposed to be neat looking, it’s what a teenager is supposed to think is cool and past me can confirm but evne as an adult it just flows better and fits hanks insane personality better. It’s also part of why I feel the season splits into halves so well: Hank in part 1 is a different hank than hank in part 2 down to sadly shedding the hair cut and eventually the jacket.. though he keeps the speedsuit and gets some other fun outfits next season, so it still works out and he thankfully grows his hair back to an even better style during the new york era. I don’t hate shaved hank but I prefer him with some hair as it just looks better.

Anyways, Hank has taken his only positive role model leaving him poorly and thus is changing the most. Dean loved him and misses him too.. but to Hank brock was everything: he was the one he tried to be a kid sidekick to, the mulleted ladies man badass who let him hang out in his room and quite honestly... his dad. Doc can barely be assed to be a parent so while Hank treats him like a dad.. Brock actually ACTED like one. He was tough but fair with him and actually bothered to spend time with hank and teach him stuff. And now he’s simply stuck with the bitter resentful jackass who clearly prefers his brother not going on adventures anymore.

When you look at his changes... he’s TRYING to be brock since he can’t have brock: he’s wearing his jacket , growing out his hair and taking up Brock’s place of busting Doc’s balls. Granted part of that is also that hank needs someone to blame so he lashes out at the guy who replaced him and the guy who clearly drove him away in hanks eyes... which is part of it but not the ENTIRE reason Brock left, so fair enough. He just wants Brock back and is in denial that he’s gone. Well okay he’s on the same yard, but he’s not present. It makes two parts of the premire in paticular heartbreaking: The first is Brock’s full exit: while he did quit at the end of the season it’s clear no one on Team Venture bought he was really leaving.... until he does, running out to escape the OSI and leaving his watch behind. While both boys are devistated.. it’s Hanks face that’s the most hurt. Brock not only REALLY is leaving.. but he didn’t say goodbye. It’s why Hank retreats into blaming everyone else but Brock for leaving: because he can’t take the idea his mentor, his dad, REALLY thought so little of him as to leave and really didn’t care about him. He does of course and Brock really just left because he had no time to say goodbye and it hurt him to know he was close to his kids but coudln’t see them, but to Hank it’s just his favorite person in the world leaving.

The hardest one though is the end of the same episode when we catch up with real time.. and see Brock with Sphinx. Jackson’s performance is utterly heartbreaking. He hugs his missing father figure.. before asking some pretty soul crushing questions, sounding not like the fearless, reckless, endlessly confident doofus we love.. but a scared child wondering why his father left him. His “why did you leave me” just.. breaks me every time i’ve heard it, and the “Why didn’t you say goodbye right before” .. it’s just utterly heartsmashing to see hank break like this and you can tell Brock just wants to tell him but knows Sphinx needs to remain in the shadows both for it’s good and Hanks and asks to share him a while. He dosen’t even properly comfort the kid he has to go before that. It’s not one of brock’s better acts, basically asking hank to hide he was there, and thus any chance of finding him and to just accept he’s gone.. but the fact it’s not so simple, that Brock knows what he’s doing is hurting them both... it’s masterful writing.

It’s just a half a season of a sad child wondering when his dad will come home while having a LOT of shit piled on him. And i’m not exagerating: in the span of 8 episodes he only gets to see brock for five seconds and gets no good reason why he left, gets kidnapped by a man trying to make him into his new sidekick instead of you know, get therapy while his dad only tries to rescue him because he has to, thinks he killed his brother, gets blamed for said brother’s deranged clone’s actions, gets kidnapped AGAIN this time by one of his only friends, has said friend block his view at the movies, then has to use himself as bait to help prevent his new bodyguard from having a spiral back into pedophilia. it was dressed up as his ex wife, to be clear, but it’s still no less fucked up. I didn’t even realize it till I rewatched this batch: hank goes through a lot and the fact he got through all of this his usual dopey self speaks to his resielnce. The kid has been through so much shit before and after this season and he just keeps going, happy as ever and as determined to be batman as ever.

The season does compensate though by showing some real growth in hank: While he’s still far more skilled in his head than in reality, he does show some flashes of actual skill: he has a robin style battle as wonder boy with 21 and the monarch and while both are going easy on him (21 ONLY punching him because he was being a little dick), and the monarch as he needs his hostage, he still dodges both fairly well and dosen’t get recaptured and for someone who used to get kidnapped every other week, that’s a win. He later manages to stall the bulk of the guild of the calamtous intent’s military simply by stonewalling them with the intercom. Granted again the opponent didn’t have killing intent, but not only did hank NOT know they didn’t and was willing to put his life on the line if they did, but their still highly trained, deadly strangers who still got outwitted by a 16-17 year old weirdo who did it by treating them like telemarketers. Hank is starting to go from someone who thinks he’s badass to the true badass he was destined to be.

He’s also grown emotionally. I mean he’s still hank.. we still get the whole conversation with hank where he asks if he has a “weird dingus” becauase he assumes gay people are transgender and somehow manages to be unwittingly trans and homophobic all at once.. but in the same sentence his response to being asked if he’s ashamed of his ignorance, even just a little?” “Constantly” it’s both hilarious but shows hank is’nt a malicious idiot, just one raised by Rusty who isn’t the most socially concious guy on a good day and he hasn’t had a good day in 20 years.

Hank first shows it in said captain sunshine episode. While he’s more than happy to basically be robin after a Kevin Conroy voiced combo of superman and batman kidnaps him without realizing he’s not an orphan (or that dean exists), to be his new ward, especially since for all his awkwardness, Sunshine isn’t a dick like his actual dad. It’s everything hank could possibly want, especially since we later learn that cap took over from his butler/dad desmond, meaning Hank would be a shoe in to basically become a rainbow combo of batman and superman. But it just.. isn’t right and hank can see that. The Good Captain hasn’t moved on from loosing wonder boy, breaks down frequently, nearly beats a guy to death and in general just ISN’T ready to take on a surrogate son and is trying to make hank into someone he isn’t. Hank isn’t wonder boy and he sees Captain sunshine needs help not a young ward.. and givne he clearly gets one later it sadly didn’ take. But hank tried and it says a lot when the hank of a few seasons ago probably would’ve been a lot harder to convince to come home. but this hank, even if his home sucks.. it’s where he needs to be.

His next big moment comes in “The Revenge Society”. IT’s not one of his finest hours to start as he preys on Hatred’s fear to try and steal his dad’s playboys and other shenanigans.. but Hatred is able to get through to his moral center by guilt tripping him without hank even realizing it. It shows that while Hank is willing to get into shenanigans when he realizes there is real stakes he’ll try and as we saw he didn’t do bad. And he eventually did find those playboys thanks to karma. So good for him

Finally we have The Better Man, which I didn’t expect to have choice Hank as I remembered everything else going on in that one more, but here we are. While Hank being the one to finally break it to dean he’s not in a relationship with Triana and it’s not headed that way, the fact he does so rather well and with minimum hank is what stuck out to me. I do say minimum as he opens his questions to dean with “Have you seen her naked”

But the rest are honest ways to get Dean to realize their relationship hasn’t gone anywhere past platonic: “Have you kissed her?” “have you held her hand?” “Have you gone shopping with her?” And is the last one a tad accidentally sexist... yes. It’s hank... but the fact they really HAVEN’T hung out in a coupley way is a fair point. And frankly given the fact Hank was raised by every woman’s nightmare and a serial womanizer i’m shocked his advice is not only entirely on the nose but functional. Granted his next move is to take Dean to the mall and literally throw him at girls after making him look like Rufio but he’s trying. He even gives Dean a well deserved “touche” when he tries to razz his brother for “falling in love with the first girl to live in your backyard”.. only to be reminded of his longstanding crush on the mail lady (”In my defense she had very attractive shorts”). Hank is just sweet here.. entirely out of his depth, he woudln’t be any good at this till season 6, and it’s nice to see the two really gelling as brothers despite the divide between them growing by the day. After half a season of Doc being said wedge, it’s nice to just see Hank try and help dean and the two really hang out again. Pity it won’t last but we still got a few moments with them to savor before we get to .. that one. But I got a few months before I have to dissect that trainwreck of a creative decision. Hank’s at his best.

Dean also changes a bit this season piece, just not as dramatically as hank. He’ll get his turn in Season 5. For now he’s still the same loveable little goody two shoes whose anxious as hell about this life yet geninely seems to still want it on some level.. he just has the kind of pencil mustache most boys get as a teenager.

His progress though is neat: He tries super science for the first time and while Doc’s treatment of hank absolutely sucks, him mentoring dean is adorable and a this stage, while as we'll see next season half open to other careers he genuinely WANTS to try science, and relishes getting his own lab for a bit. He also takes to prog rock which is a sweet bit of father and son sharing a hobby. It’s also neat to see the parallel with his own dad: both of them WANT to continue science like their father before them and seem to really enjoy it.... it’s just the costumed crap that comes with it really bothers them. Doc is numb to it but for Dean.. he just wants it to stop on some level. Dean actually having some enthuastic for science here is important as he tries to drive away from it: he can do it.. it’s a question of SHOULD he do it that will span the rest of the series and probably the movie. Still no word in the last 5 months dammit.

The other bit is the beginning of the end for a series mainstay: Triana Orpheus leaves the cast this part and while she’ll return for Operation PROM, she’s gone from then on. And surprisingly her departure WASN’T doc’s breakup with her va or simply just not caring: She was intended to come back... it’s just they never found an opportunity and probably won’t with the movie. The reason was simple: She was growing up and at the age she’d leave the nest and the boys just wren’t there yet. This super science world just wasn’t her. She was fairly normal and thus had to move on. Granted she did so by going to train to be a sorcerer supreme like her dad because it pays more than art school would, but still it was her version of going on to college, something Dean himself would need a season and a half more to get to.

And honestly while I do feel the character could have an awesome return down the line, I seriously doubt Jackson and Doc will stop entirely and now they don’t have the show they could continue in comics if they wanted, I do feel she just lost her place in the show: Dermott was working better as a link to the outside world, especially as he and dean slowly grew to tolerate each other, the rest of the order served as better non-doc foils to orpheus, and Dean really didn’t need a love interest especially if they had no intention of going anywhere with it. At the end of the day she was a very normal person in a very abnormal world who just had no place being there other than her dad happened to be part of it. IT made sense to ship her off so she’d become more part of it and she simply hasn’t drifted back yet because her dad, her primary link to the show, slowly drifted out of focus.. and while she could easily exist independent of him if she and dean patched it up as friends, which is plausible he did end things dickishly but she seems forgiving enough and Dean seems like he’d offer a hell of an apology for being a butt (We’ll get to that incident last time), but she needs that link to her dad to hook her back in to have anything to do with our cast of loveable assholes.

So having Dean move on was what the show needed and how they do it is good: Hank gets him to see his relationship with triana while POSSIBLE hasn’t gone anywhere, and after again his brother lovingly shoved him into some teen girls, just talking to one and seeing where it goes (Nowhere as it turns out), taking Dermott’s advice allow shim to TRY to move on. Granted his trying to quickly backtrack when he “breaks up with triana’ shows he’s not over her and sadly.. as good as an ending as him “breaking it off” and her humoring him with both parting as friends WOULD’VE been.. this is the venture bros. Things often don’t end well fo rour heroes.. and it’s often their fault. And sadly it’ll be dean’s fault when we pick this thread up again next time.

Next up we have our new and for better or worse pemenant addition to the family: Sgt. Hatred. His replacing Brock was far from a popular move, something Jackson and Doc knew would happen so the question is.. was adding him to the main cast a good idea?

I do think hatred isn’t a TERRIBLE character: replacing brock with a far less compitent, emotoinally open and loud replacement works comedically and it’s fun to see Doc be the sane one in a bodyguard super scientest relationship for a change, and as I said he can be competent in the right context. He also does have some genuinely great moments: his letting hank shoot him to gain his trust, while utterly insane, is also bizzarely touching: he just wants the kid to trust him and can’t get through to him. And the entire scene with him and doc in return to malice is pure magic: from him showing up basically naked to just.. casually admitting he was masturbating, it shoudln’t work but it does.

The problem is the elephant in the room, something Jackson and Doc obviously shoudl’ve seen as a problem in promoting this character beyond supporting and of having him around long term but clearly didn’t: Sgt. Hatred was a pedophile. He is a reformed one: he takes medication (If an injection in the neck because of the show we’re in and whose giving him the drugs), geninely regrets what he did seeing it as being in a dark place, and it’s revealed part of why he kept it up for so long is the Guild saw this.. as an asset

So it’s not like they aren’t writing him as a guy TRYING to reform from being this monster in the past terribly. When he runs out of his drugs while at the last film in a fantasy trilogy with the boys, he well.. runs out and locks himself in the panic room, not wanting to harm any innocent children. He’s TRYING not to be a pedophile.

The issue is they just don’t handle the topic well. At all. Venture Bros deals with many issues with great nuance. Doc is a great example, being both utterly loathsome but also on some level pitable. You don’t forgive how he treats the boys.. but you get WHY he’s like this and thus can sympathize with him on occasoin without forgettnig what an ass he is. But with Hatred it just dosen’t work

As for why for starters they mostly use his pedophila as a punchline and wanting to sleep with children.. isn’t funny. It just isn’t. I never really found that shit funny and I find it even less funny now I have neices, nephews and niblings to worry about. Kids getting horribly scarred for life by being raped is not funny and it never will be. So having jokes about Hatred still having child porn on his computer aren’t funny. Him wanting to go to thailand to buy a child isn’t funny. And worst of all him RAPING BILLY because he looks like a chlild isn’t funny. Yes they made one of the main cast a rapist. I only vaugley remember it happening and while they don’t outright say he did it, the implication is VERY clear. He’s naked, he’’s happya nd billy is horrified to find out he was clearly raped. It is easily the worst joke in the entire series thus far, and as good as the series is that is not an easy title. But just casually having one of your main cast rape a person for a joke is just.. holy shit. I didn’t think the show sunk this low.

I could stop at “he raped billy” as reasons I no longer like the character, but the fact he tried to rape the boys, if offscreen, in season 2 DOES NOT HELP. He did and part of hank’s reluctance is that exact incident and they just kinda.. brush past it. And whlie brushing past horrible shit is usually the show’s bread and butter and usually works you just.. can’t casually walk off the fact the guy now in charge of the boys care once tried to rape them. You can’t. Having someone more pathetic as the new bodyguard was a good idea.. but adding hatred to the main cast was a VERY bad one and only made the character worse. And yes i’m focusing mostly on raping billy but it says to me that even WITH the drugs Sgt. Hatred would gladly resume raping if he could get away with it. He suffers ZERO consequences from this and it’s treated as a gag because “DUR IT’S A MAN”. And look on the whole the “men getting raped is acceptable trope” is fucking disgusting and needs to be burned, thrown off a cliff and into a pool of acid. This one gag destroys any chance of me ever carring about this character again and i’m willing to double down on that. There’s nothing I remember in the rest of this season that really adds to him as a character enough, he never apologizes and next season thinks “giving him boobs” is funny which

But we’ll get to that. I get the sense Jackson really likes working with the character but he also says shit like “We don’t relaly go into that side of him” on his pedophilia.. and that it’s just a “sword of damocles hanging over his head”

And I do love Jackson and Doc but man oh man when they fuck up it tends to be dramatic and noticeable, like the moppets last season. Adding hatred to the main cast was one of the series biggest mistakes, something I realized more and more as I wrote this section. It’s a miracle this season is as good as it is despite ole hatred.

Okay that was a lot of hatred in both senses of the word. Thankfully we’re on to the last of the clan venture, Brock. Brock left the family and while some shows would resolve this cliffhanger fast, Jackson and Doc wisely decided to keep brock away, and using his story as bookends for this part of the season was genius. Blood Of the Father, Heart of Steel, wisely dosen’t keep us waiting a whole season to see where Brock is now, which was also to prevent fans from hunting them down and burning them in a brock themed wicker man, but still it did it’s job of keeping us informed while still keeping the mystery up to the finale. We see brock escape (and the heartbreaking scene of the boys realizing he’s REALLY gone), go on a wilderness sabatical with steve summers and sasquatch, two characters I honestly DIDN’T think ever returned properly, and finally going after the people who screwed him over. It dosen’t qutie work out with mol, but he does find out what Hunter was up to.. and joins him.. likely as hunter planned. We then see him and shore leave at the top of the season and while on the surface the scene, him trying to get hank to calm down despite having every reason to you know.. apologize or anything, dosen’t paint him in the best light i’ts clear later why.

And that later is the finale. It was a MASSIVE gamble to get rid of Brock for so long, especially since we fans watching.. had no idea if he was coming back or not. I wrote embarrassing fan fiction between seasons, that I thankfully didn’t post online and I can tell you I just.. didn’t think he was coming back. didn’t replace him with anybody but I just wrote him off and went on with shipping dean and triana because I was a naive little idiot like dean so I glommed onto that relationship.

But of course the guys always planned to bring him back as they knew the fans might accept brock being gone a few episodes, or half a season, but wouldn’t accept him leaving the main cast for too long. It’s why this season feels like two seasons really: brock is gone for this part, and next part his coming back and SPHINX! now being open with their presence on the compound changes things.

Speaking of which we have the shakeup with finding out just WHY Hunter went Rogue. As it turns out it wasn’t for no reason but simply because he had grown tired of how the OSI runs things. Easy to see why too: as we’ve seen now we know the orginzation better the most they do against the guild is try to do covert stuff with guys like doe and cardholder, they never vindicated brock and hunter for going after them despite not only learning one of their own was compromised, but that Phantom Limb was indeed working with the guild, and the entire operation with brock, while setup by hunter himself, was utterly bungled: they tried talking to him sure... but with a giant army on his doorstep. Of a guy who takes out giant armies on a regular basis. They didn’t try talking or doing any investigative work, they just went in guns a blazing and assumed he’d gone crazy or flipped to the guild despited neither making sense. So wanting to not only break from that but take out the guys the other orginzation are missing, i.e. super science nuts who plan world domination or dirty bombs, makes sense.. and it makes sense why Brock would join them despite hutner’s betrayal. He was probably still mad at him at first but after so long having to take it on the chin getting to go after the costumed set and co who step out of line.. it had to be cathartic. It was a chance ot do real good for the world instead of babysitting a garbage fire or doing the work of an orignzation who clearly hadn’t cared about him. Hutner did use him true... he could’ve just.. given brock a job offer and he woudl’ve considered it. Then again he woudln’t be hutner if he did. But I get why Brock took it: this is a chance for a fresh start away from the OSI

It’s not away from the family as it turns out he was on compound for months, and the pain of not being able to tell the boys they were safe was a lot. Noticably though he dosen’t seem to have missed doc much.. can’t say I blame him. And the second he gets a chacne as seen in the stinger, he reconnects and as we’ll see next time, makes it so the boys aren’t being mindwipped anymore. Partly for their good.. but it’s clear he misses them. They’ll never not be his family.. but you can’t blame him for hitting burnout and wanting to go back to doing cool superspy crap that for once feels like it has a real purpose. The guy he and Shore Leave take out on a mission had a geninely dangerous weapon and was a genine asshole. It also is clear from said mission Brock is HAPPY where he is. Hunter still isn’t the most ethical boss, trying to keep what’s going on with monstroso from brock, but frankly to be a spy master while you have to have SOME ethics, you can’t have a ton so fair on him. But he and Shore Leave go from two guys who hardly knew each other to best friends, and Brock seems far happier doing this than killing the monarch’s men. Before he was just slaughtering for a job. Now he has a purpose and he’s happy. And now he has the boys back he truly has everything.. or almost.. but we’ll get to her next time. Also yeah lotta next times this review but that’s what happens when you review half a season and given i’ve put out THIS much for just half a season. .you can see why I cut it

Onto the Monarch and the Mrs who.. honestly haven’t changed much. And it makes sense to not really rock the boat with them: the two have had two seasons straight of upheavel from their breakup to adjusting to their marriage and a venture free life. It’s fine to let 21 be the one to really change and evolve this season and just let them do what they do: come up with elaborate schemes for a guy who coudln’t care less and try and talk their husband out of the dumber parts while supporting him best she can respecitvely. It’s just nice after their relationship was dead for almost all of season 2 and struggling a bit in season 3 to let them just be happy.

The only real change is the Monarch does up his game. Clearly being away from Venture only made him think of new ways to torment him, starting with the geninely clever scheme of ransoming the boys, knowing Doc’s main weakness is his checkbook. He only even gets the money because Billy and White got startup money. His other schemes are more classic monarch from the scarionette canon, to preventing venture’s therapy because he’s a selfish prick, to his half assed plan with monstroso that nearly destroy shim. HE hasn’t really changed as a person but he is trying more than just the old game of cat and also cat with Venture and it’s fun to see. Shielia is also largely the same and I don’t really have anything to say about her.

Now we have our main event, as 24′s death has utterly changed Gary, transforming him from an out of shape geek with no competence to a ripped geek whose vowed to not loose another henchman. He’s got cool wrist glove claws, is respected and feared by his fellow henchman, and even ignoring the brock factor is actually getting mortality rates down. It’s like Jackson and Doc outlined when talking about the finale in the art book: what happens to half a comedy duo when the other half dies? What was two friends throwing out a really dumb suggestion became one of the series most intresting arcs. No one , myself included, saw Gary turning into this but it was the right call, taking a stale double act and instead building it’s better half into one of the shows best characters.

And part of that is he’s still gary. He still has a chest of nerdy stuff, still pines for dr. girlfriend, botches water tourture and goes to a fantasy movie on an unexpected night off after dropping off a viper for his boss. What makes him so intresting is he’s STILL gary.. he’s just the best version of himself. or almost. I mean he still talks to his best friends ghost.. or what he thinks it is. And given his harsh reaction to the idea that he isn’t really a ghost it’s clear he may not even be that.. but that hard truth comes next time. For now it’s clear that while Gary has bettered himself and is close to his best self he’s also still torutured by 24′s death via said “ghost” chats and hunting his killers, kidnaping the boys and later scraping with brock. This part of the arc isn’t over.

That said before we move on from him and to the last part of the cocoon his fight with brock is easily one of the best shows of character development i’ve seen: mimicking his earlier lightsaber debacle, Gary instead punches brock at the boo and when left bloody his response is “bring it”. He’s gone from a geek super running away to a geek who get sto be the fucking wolverine. While Gary of course looses, it is brock freaking sampson he got said brock freaking sampson’s respect. Gary. Of all characters GARY geninely earned one of the biggest badass’ respect and got to team up with him to finish the score, showing no fear as he faced the physical equal of the kingpin... or blockbuster. either way motherfucker big , strong and ready to beat his ass. Gary ends this half a hero.. and may just like the sound of that.

Finally we have the Moppets and thank fucking god, Jackson and Doc listened to fans. Given how stubborn they can be on that, we’ll get to the kim thing again next time, it’s nice they relaized they didn’t work and their only apperances are getting dragged by their bosses: the monarch gets an UTTERLY awesome scene when they try to keep him from leaving his house. His response?

“I'm only gonna say this once. I don't like you two. And if you ever, ever try to give me an order again I will kill you both and feed your tiny, rotting bodies to the neighborhood dogs!! Now what were you saying?“

It shows that clearly the ONLY reaosn he put up with them for so long.. is that he wasn’t at the top of his game, still effed up from not getting to arch Venture. Once he can.. we finally get cathariss after a season of their shit. While it wasn’t say 21 getting one on them, that’s next season and it is also glorious, it was so damn good. Likewise is Dr. Mrs not only calling them out for tattling on 21 in the finale, but admitting she finds them creepy. It’s just nice to finally not have to seriously deal with them as characters.

Okay onto the supporting cast. The big one is Dr. Orpheous, who goes thorugh what’s sadly his last bout of character development. He does get two more episodes where he gets a lot of focus: “Assisted Suicide” and “A Very Venture Halloween”.. but this is the last time the show really feels like it cares about progressing him as a person, with him being absent from season 6 since they coudln’t squeeze him in and only returning for the morphic trilogy after, and only one of those eps focuses on him. It’s sad to see the era of his relevance end.. but easy to see why. While the magic stuff is fun, it just dosen’t mesh entirely with this weird world of costumes and super science. It fits in enough that Dr. O isn’t out of place or ever fully removed, but it’s not enough he can easily be brought into plots. He’s a magic guy in a super science and b-list costumed villian type show. He has a great cast, a great personality and is truly one of the shows greatest characters.. but ultimately he’s a relic from a time when the show threw everything at the wall to see what stuck and now the guild and super spy stuff is sticking in additoin to the usual venture hyjinks.. he just dosen’t work as a mainstay anymore. Supporting cast yes, it was a crime he was left out of season 6 as understandable as said crime was, but his time in the sun is over and i’ll miss it.

That being said he does leave being in the main cast with one hell of an episode: The Better Man is truly excellent and works simply by bringing in Orpheus real nemisis: The Outrider aka his former apprentice or as Dr. O puts it “THE MAN WHO STOLE MY WIFFEEEE!” or in laymans terms the guy who made him a

So he naturally does what Dr. O does: mad that the outrider also reached the second world he’s desperate to find out why... while even Triana can see he just desperatley wants to prove he’s better in the vain hope of getting back with his ex which naturally the master mocks him with by transforming into her. and so he can jumprope naked but hey he’s likely alone in that room for hours. He’s gotta find SOMETHING to do. But he makes a valid point: none of this is going to make him better than the outrider and he’s only pissed because the outrider once again beat him. Granted Dr. O, as usual with the master, didn’t take it right away and tries to find a portal... but despite his issues his true character does show when the outrider emerges from the portal. He sees that while this is still the bastard his wife cheated on him with, and is within his rights to resent the man.. at the end of the day... he’s not a terrible person. He did a bad thing.. but he also went ot hell and back to hlep torid. It backfired but he still did. So when given a chance to lie about his death and just leave him there comotase and truly win.. he dosen’t even consider it. He takes the man back to help him, finding out the Outrider cheated to get ahead dangerously putting a magical artifact in his brain via trepanning

And it isn ‘t as removing the thing he used for it with special brother of the order of the triad billy, they get stuck between worlds and only get out because Jefferson’s magic. That is a nice bit of character stuff itself (Don’t worry Al fans, he gets his next time). After once again feeling useless for being the team normal in a team of magic guys, Jefferson finds out he’s between worlds. It’s not exactly useful for every day but for one moment he’s their only way out and gets to enjoy it.

Importantly for orpheous though.. he makes peace with the outrider. Even allowing him to take triana with him to her mothers. He realizes ultimately that while the Outrider did sleep with his wife, still never going to not downplay he slept with his masters wife, the marriage falling apart was due to his work.. he wasn’t a great husband or father... and he accepts it and treis to be better.

And that leads to Triana’s exit. While I covered most of it above, and it’s a great turn for her character, what’s most telling is that this is the tenth time the master has done this. Granted he does so by dickishly resembling dean’s worst possible future because he fucking sucks nad dosen’t get triana isn’t THAT intrested, I love the guy but he is the worst sometimes, but still he, and likely the audience expects orpheus will just mind wiper her again.. but instead he dose’nt. He clearly listens to her and let’s his daughter go. And while it truly hurts.. it’s also him accepting that just because his life has been rough because of his job.. dosen’t mean hers will. She can be better than him and it’s up to him to let her. As for why her mom and stepdad that’s easy: Orpheus likely knows he coudln’t teach her properly himself as he’d be holding himself back or trying to keep her safe, something her mother won’t do as much. She’ll keep her safe.. but she’ll also let her go. And so Dr. O let’s his daughter go and we let him go... he’ll still be around but... this is the end of his true relivance and it will be missed.

We then have Billy and White. Their arc won’t come full circle till next time, but they have money now. So that’s a thing. The real notable thing about billy is that they up the abuse the poor guy takes: he has his money stolen, gets kidnapped twice for surgery, gets raped and gets mindwiped by an abusive asshole. The show just makes the poor guy into a punchline and it’s not funny.. especially the rape thing which yes I still haven’t let go. How the fuck have I not thought about how messed up this is more? Did I just block it out?

Finally out of the notable side cast we have Shoreleave. HE dosen’t do much this half, just be awesome, but it is the start of his evolution from minor shipwreck from bibleman parody into proudly gay badass, expert marksman and all around great character. He’s only prominent in the last episode but boy does god damn does he make an entrance and he’ll only get better from here.

Episode Guide:

40. Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel

Summary: In parallel stories showing where are heroes are post season 3-finale, Brock Of Ages goes on the run from the OSI, paints some terrible paintings, gets a gut, looses a gut and joins his old bosses rogue spy agency. Meanwhile Hank grows his hair out, Hatred moves in, Gary’s life savings are destroyed and Dean gets a dog that turns out to be hitler. So average tuesday for Team venture. My Thoughts: I didn’t remember this episode all that well before rewatching it. It’s fair enough as a LOT’s going on and thus my brain gravitated to the bullet points: Brock starting up with SPHINX, nazis, dean having a boy and his dog plot but the dog has the reincarnated soul of hitler. You knkow the stuff you remember. That said rewatching it it’s a decent episode. I earlier had the take Jackson and Doc aren’t great at premires when really they have hit it out of the park at times with Shadowman 9, Hostile Makeover and Curse of the Haunted Problem... it’s just often these episodes aren’t AS good as what to come and this is the purest example of that. It’s not bad, and the stuff with hitler is some of the series funniest stuff from the casual (for him) way orpheus tells dean his dog is the “spawn of hell”, to dr. venture being fed up with nazi’s for being cliche rather than nazis, to his “Wait.. you guys are nazis” and of course the iconic line “I love hitler and hitler loves me!”. The brock stuf fis fine, including his shitty photo, but this ep is really just that. Fine. It has a neat gimmick but isn’t the best or the worst and if I ranked every episode which...

So yeah a solid middle tier episode that helps set everything up right and has some all time classic jokes, and the fact a mid range episode in this season has so much iconic stuff says something about the season as a whole. Best Moment: “I”ll pay you ten bucks not to shoot your dad” ALMOST won, it was very close.. but I gotta give it to Doc’s “Wait.. you guys are Nazi’s! James deilveriy is just perfect.. just the right sorta “this again” baffled tone like they were a sitcom neighbor whose dog crapped in his yard again and not you know, The Fourth Reich. Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 102. Refusing to you know.. actually look up the Marvel Comic and then letting it get beat up by the kids. Though I will give him credit for not working with actual nazis. Hanktastic:Hank’s confidence he can shoot a bullet off his dad’s belt buckle and have it ricochet. Again “I’ll pay you ten bucks not to shoot your dad” is an all time classic line. The wolf mask is also neat. Deanarific: “I love hitler, and hitler loves me! He’s not all bad, Hitler just needs someone to belivie in him. can’t you just give hilter a chance?” part of it is for how delebertly out of context the episode stages it but it’s mainly just Mike’s through commitment to the bit. Questions For Later: Gary being with a larp group and disappearing for some time will come up in a few episodes, while the Brock SPHINX mystery gets solved end of season. First Appearance: Hitler Reincarnated as a Dog. I mean normally I save this only for characters who I know show up again, as to not clog it but some things only happen once in your career and you gotta take your shot.

41. Handsome Ransom

Summary: The Monarch what kidnaps the boys again but this time plans to ransom them to bankrupt his arch foe.. only for one of his utter arch foes to swoop in and take hank. So while Hank hangs out with a literal sunshine superman voiced by THE batman and gets creeped out a little, Doc scrambles to get the money and keep it and the monarch scrambles to get hank back before his scheme unravels. My Thoughts: This episode.. wasn’t as good on rewatch. As Jackson himself admits the jokes, having batman come off as a pedophile (Though not actually be one in this case), comparisoins to micheal jackson and just general stuff. It drags the episode down slightly. That said.. it’s still not BAD. It’s just the main “He comes off like a pedophile joke” isn’t funny the first time they say it aand isn’t that funny by the time Monarch comes out and says that’s what it is. But the stuff around it is filled with great jokes: Hank having called Doc a honkey (and The Monarch naturally loving this fact), the constant treating of dean as half a person, something he takes in stride, tiny money hatred, “It’s chuck scarsdale, hide or we’ll be on the news!”, the sheer dumbassery of the monarch’s plan and the truly awesome freedom fighters pastiche. This episode is full of too much gold to be TOO bad.

Though while the sunshine has a bit too many pedophile jokes, especialy in a season where they have an actual pedophile living with hank, it ends up not tanking entirley thanks to one man: Kevin Fucking Conroy. THE batman playing a parody of batman with a lot of superman in him. It’s Kevin’s being fully game to play this sad, desperate and untetionalyl creepy version of him that works. From the calling a sleepover to the PTSD laden shouts of WONDERBOYYYYY to his breakdown, kevin both gives the character perfect silver age comedic timing (doubled thanks to said things being said by THE post silver age batman. Love you keaton but... he’s the chosen one), and pathos: i’ts clear he’s a man who hasn’t moved on and needs help and sadly never gets it as we see later. He’s a tragic character, not reailizing how broken his cycle is or how he threw out his second wonder boy. I wish the character had come back to get developed more, but hey Kevin’s a busy man and sunshine dosen’t easily fit into the show, so I undrestand. Overall again not a top tier episode like I used to think but still a hell of a good time, as well as one i’d use to intro people to the show. Best Moment: Hank having called Rusty a Honky, mostly for again James delivery. THe Monarch and Hank sniggering over it just completes it. Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 104. Insulting Dean for no reason, as funny as it is and outright threatning not to rescue hank. Hanktastic: Again, calling his dad a Honky Deanarific: Just how he takes his dad treating him as just.. a casual object of little intrest is hilarious. He just dosen’t care. He’s just happy to be included. Questions For Later: Desmond will be important next time. First Appearance: Captain Sunshine and Desmond

42. Perchance to Dean (Pissed in God’s Eye Award Winner)

Summary: Doc introduces Dean to the power of Prog rock, a cloned dean does this

Hank thinks he killed dean and Doc gets arrested and blames it on hank due to some wacky circumstances. My Thoughts: Yeah not even a close race. Every other episode this halfa season is either a true classic or at least watchable. This one, while still loaded with some good jokes.. is neither of those. It’s not as bad as past season’s bombs but it still dosen’t work, something Jackson acknoledges. I feel Clone Dean is just too sad and horrific to really fit with the show’s tone well which does have unedning horror but threaded with laughs. But a sad teenager hunchback whose haunted by a hallucination of his dad urging him to kill.. I just want to give the poor kid a hug that dosen’t end in an explosion. It just dosen’t work. It also ups the hank abuse with hank getting grounded for.. some idiots thinking the compound is a cult.. whic his a fair assumption but isn’t fair to hank. The episode is dark and mean spirited in a way this show just usually isn’t.. dark yes, while the show isn’t over the top dark it’s pretty fucked up when you think about it. But it’s usually used for black comedy, like having a scooby doo group resembling famous serial killers or an orphan heart powered fantasy machine. The show can get dark.. but it usually either uses it for drama effectively or for a laugh. An the show will do horror later iwth the morphic trilogy and worse stuff than this, but they just aren’t there yet. Best Moment: “He’s in a floyd hole!” Just the way James delivers that line man three in a row so far. I swear this is the best season (or part of one but semantics) for James deliveries. Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: Hanktastic: Hank’s response to dermott being suprised he didn’t know they weren’t using acid “What am I bill nye the science guy? I don’t know what any of this stuff does. “ Rusty Sucks Suprising No One:... better strap in. Trying to BAN HANK FROM THE BATHROOM, insuiating both that he’ll work in package delivery and doing so as a classist as hell dig (Ironically he DOES end up as a delivery boy but i’m not giving rusty any points for that. Most teens work food service), HITTING his son, and grounding him based on flimsy evidence when he has no reason to think hank did that especiallya fter he saw the clone explode. So that’s 5 for the supremely fucked up first one, 1 for the second, 10 for the hit (while verbal violence dosen’t > phsyical violence he still hit him repeadtely), and 5 for the last one. so 21 for a grand total of 125 Deanarific: Hard choice given, for all the episodes weaknesses we have a lot of good dean this episode, including the beautiful as hell prog rock sequences.. but I gotta give it to his weird belieif there’s a hair fairy. Hatred Paedo Jokes: We start tracking these with Hatred telling the police not to check his computer. Yes he still keeps chlid porn around 1. Also yes I had to add another running thing and i’m sure given my track record, this won’t be the last. I already have one in mind for season 6. Dermott is Spare Parts Bud: Claming he’s moved a lot, trying to burn off hank’s finger prints and in general thinking fleeing an accidental hit and run was in any way a good idea.

43. Return to Malice

Summary: 21 begins his hunt for 24′s killer, starting with the boys, leading the rest of the cast to try and to undo ths fiasco whlie the Monarch.. deals with a bad shelfish allergy. Would you belivie this is one of the best episodes of the series so far? My Thoughts: Yeah never thought i’d be typing that. I remembered not really liking this one but on rewatch? This is where the season goes from pretty good , even the tire fire, to truly excellent. As the season has been so far i’ts packed full of great jokes but what REALLY elevates it is the character stuff, something the other eps had but this one really digs in with and what makes the show special. We see who 21 is now, how he got that way and that he talks to a skull a lot. It also dosen’t bother the monarch because he does the same thing with the greatest new character of all series; Mister Mostly Mittens. RIP. We also get some great character interactions: Dean gets to interact with 21 at length for the first time as he was geninely paired with 24 before his untimely demise, Rusty and SHelia have a genine conversation for the first time with Doc only hitting on her a little (Which for him is imporvement) and as I mentioned earlier the Monarch telling off the moppets was so damn cathartic. This is a hidden gem of an ep that’s worth a revisit. Best Moment: Mister Mostly Mittens. Not only the full shot of the horrifying taxidermy cat, but how the Monarch seems to think this is remotely normal “He could catch a rubberband and bring it back to you. Just classic venture bros going off on some weird aside that has nothing to do with the plot but is still soaked in character. Hanktastic: When 21 realizes in a way he killed 24, dean tries to comfort him with an “We all did” Hank.. dosen’t take it “Not me I didn’t!” Deanarific: Dean geneinly comforting gary and getting through to him. Best boy. Hatred Paedo Jokes: Just outright mentioning it casually.. though it’s one of theo nlyt imes it works as it has Doc rightfully questioning hiring him. 2. ALso forgot to add 4 from previous seasons so 6. (The refrence to him trying to rape hank ins eason 2, his needing them awayin season 3 and his later mentionnig giving up the little boys and calling the chlidren sexy at the daycamp0 Questions For Later: First Appearance:

44. The Revenge Society

Summary:

Phantom Limb makes his grand return, kidnapping Billy and two of the council.. and making them into a two headed man because Jackson and Doc loved the idea of a two headed man, with intent of getting the ORB, so it’s up to david bowie, dean and doc to stop them while Hank and Hatred try to super runaway from hatred’s past.

My Thoughts: Look i’ve talked quite at length about the hatred bit, and that was forgetting the book has a bit where Doc tries to say “nah nah see they just cuddled” which I geinely can’t tell if he’s in denail or trying to cover his ass as they did cut back on the pedophile jokes, but yeah it was utterly awful and drags this episode down slightly. Also that explination dosen’t help as billy “thinking” he got raped as a joke still isn’t funny and isn’t at all what you were going for. The rest of the ep still shines as Phantom Limb returns half crazed and having an army of inanimate objects as his “Revenge Soceity” and Urabanik completely sells crazy limb while Jackson and Doc play off him great as mantle and dragoon. The two are easily one of the best additions the cast got over it’s long run. They were right on the money that making a double act that can’t phsycially get away from each other worked and the fact the two didn’t choose this but just have to deal with it makes for that much more comedy. The mileage they got out of a character simply being two bickering old men with one attached to the others shoulder is amazing. Bag Billy is also amazing aside from that stinger. We also get great character stuff: Hank and Hatred’s bonding with Hank realizing he has to do the right thing and Dean and Doc’s even better bonding as Doc is geninely helpful.. it’s all great pieces. Add in some premium david bowie and you got it. I’m also fine the ORB thing ended with an anticlimax.. it’s a good swerve and i’m baffled so many people thought it should go somewhere. Even as a teen I thought it was a great swerve and as an adult it fits the show: something big super mcguffin turning out to just be a pile of broken parts no one checked because they were too busy killing anyone that did. It’s classic venture bros.

Best Moment: Hard to choose.. which I know I keep saying some form of but these episodes are absolutely stuffed... but in the end i’ll go with what I picked for the picture: The reveal that Phantomas kidnapped richie valens and the big bopper.. just to have them play crappy music. And that this somehow is the secret origin of them becoming super villians. This show is fucking stupid and I love it.

Hanktastic: As said in his section hank holding off the full brunt of the fucking guild.. with the hank equilvent of “dave’s not here man”. Good god I love this boy.

Deanarific: Dean bravely deciding to take the fight to the guild and do reconcizne.

Hatred Paedo Jokes: GUESS

Questions For Later: Just where Phantom Limb goes from here. While unsuprisingly it involves a jail cell , suprisingly it dosen’t end there.

First Appearance:Red Mantle and Crimson Dragoon

45. Self-Medication

Summary: Doc gets out of arching for therapy but when his therapist is killed by a snake themed coffee deathtrap, his therapy group takes on the mystery to find his killer... in theory. IN practice they get beat up at a strip club and get talked out of beating up an old man before he calls them all loosers. Meanwhile Hatred takes the boys to the movies and slowly breaks down over being out of meds.

My Thoughts: Another spectacular episode this time with both a great premise for both plots and a throughly stacked guest cast. Huge fan of the show Patton Oswalt, VA and screen legend Seth Green and John Hodgeman all do a wonderful job. Jackson had wanted to do this one for a long time and it shows as the idea of getting all these washed up boy adventueres together works great from the menendez hardy boys, to robin if he never became nightwing to an unsettling version of astro boy, all anchored by our old friends rusty and captain johnny. It’s just comedy gold , especaily Johnny which is brendan small at his best in the roll as just about everything he says is hilaroius as it is messed up. It also shows just what Rusty might’ve been in diffrent cirucmstances, from strung out to killing his abusive dad to .. well probably not wonder boy. Add in some great stuff with dr. z and this plot works.

THe Hatred plot is one of the few of his that work as the pedophile thing is treated as a horrible addiction he needs to face and he’s shown doing everything not to surrender to it and once he is in that state, he’s already locked himself away where he can’t hurt anyone or act on gary glitter’s tip. It has no real resolution, he apparently got diffrent drugs? I dunno, but it’s at least trying. Overall a classic, if not one of my favoirites.

Best Moment:”You got a little herpe on your lip. You get it from your wife... after I put herpe in her?” This joke wouldnt’ work at all without Brendon’s delivery.

Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 126. Deciding he’s “Too good for therapy.

Jonas Sucks Suprising No One: 36. Yes a whopping 20 points for pretending to be his own son’s therapist just to gaslight him. He may not be a point leader but he makes up for it.

Hanktastic: HIs weird logic that somehow Gary and co’s wing sblocking him counts as an arching. Look I love hank but he hasn’t been as full tilt nuts this season.

Deanarific: Dean showing his full strength and heart, encouraging hatred to fight his urges and refusing to let him out knowing he’ll do something unforgivable he’ll regret. Granted not letting a man buy an underaged sex slave off a tip from Gary Glitter is something any person should do, but the fact Dean figures Hatred can fight it and does his best is fantastic, as is , after realizing Hatred’s will isn’t strong enough, finding a way to take out his uncle so he’ll get help. Dean’s come a long way from being afraid of the coming of jesus last season.

Hatred Paedo Jokes: The Subplot

This Didn’t Age Well: Mrs. Z’s voice. Good god no.

46. The Better Man (Super Good Award Winner)

Summary: It’s a three fer as Doctor Orpheus tries to one up the man who his wife left him for and ends up in hell, Triana discovers her destiny in her closet, and Dean tries to move on from her with the less than helpful advice of his twin and the suprisingly helpful advice of his half brother.

My Thoughts: It was HARD picking the best ep this time, as most of this batch could qualify.. but in the end I gave it to this one for it’s character depth. I’ve gone into most of that above but each bit is brilliant and joke wise it’s stacked as this season has been, from Hank’s disasterous attempts to wingman for dean, his crush on the mail lady (”She had very attractive shorts”), to dean’s all time great roast on dermott, to all the drags on orpheus desperation at the start.. this ep is just stuffed with some of the best the series can offer. It’s why i’m being so breif: this episode is a fucking good, soulful, and hilarious ride and I’ve said most of what I need to say about it above.

Best Moment: LOT of contenders, as usual, but this one especailly. I’m giving it to one of my faviorite scenes in the whole show: dermott advising dean on the girl he just met. It takes dermott from hank’s idiot sidekick to a fuller human being, a kid who may be VERY stupid and very egotistical, but isn’t all bad nor always an unhelpful pile of acne who thinks he’s steven segall and has the ego to match. The boys response is also fucking great with Hank geninely confused Dermott was helpful, clearly starting to see his friend for what he is and Dean having one of the best digs of the whole series “Better check the temprature in hell”

Hanktastic: LOT to pick from, but I have to go with his crush on the mail lady “She had very attractive shorts”, as well as the fact he dosen’t back away or try to justify his crush, simply giving dean credit for poitning out he dosen’t have MUCh ground to stand on.

Deanarific: Again a lot of choices , with “I look like rufio” coming very close. But in the end his smug as hell face when triana says she can’t keep him from all the ladies wins it.

Questions For Later: Triana’s training and the outrider both come back in the season finale, Orpheus having a room free will be just as important as it brings a certain well loved paunchy gay man into the fold, and Dermott’s part time job will be a fixture from here on out.

First Appearance: The Outrider

47. Pinstripes and Poltergeists

Summary: Brock returns and just in time as the Monarch’s latest ill thought out scheme puts both him and the venture compound in the clutches of Monstroso and it’s up to the unlikely dynamic duo of 21 and brock to take him out while Doc finds out about SPHINX

My Thoughts: One of the series best finales and as Jackson put it a good note to end on, giving us plenty of brock to make up for his absence and explain where he’ sbeen with the brilliant sphinx sequence, the asendency of shoreleave and some all time classic gags like Doc revealing shit to the boys pre mindwipe, “Cigar?” and that fight scene, a show of how far 21 has come. Add in a great ending, a great big bad for the season in monstroso, and you get an all time classic. If this dosen’t make my adjusted top 12 list I’ll be a little suprised and given teh quality of this season it just might not. This is the season rising even higher and i’ts only going to go up next time.

Best Moment: The 21 and brock fight. It ALMOST lost to the rusty sucks suprising no one moment bellow, but in the end it’s just too iconic to the series to not give it and too damn awesome too. It’s breif but it’s so damn beautifully shot, well acted and cathartic, showing just how far 21′s come to the point he earned brock’s respect

Rusty Sucks Surprising No One: 132. A double pointer for the “Have I ever told you boys about your mother, or that your both clones?” and a single one for not keeping billy from being mindwiped, 2 for being put out at having to do something ood with the space with an additional one for not seeming to care brock was gone. And while 32 points in 8 episodes is a lot, most of that was from one episode. He’s been suprisingly less horrible this batch.

Hanktastic: Hank’s reunion with brock.

Questions For Later: Monstroso and what he and his investors mean for our heroes. The fight with 21 and brock will also lead to consequences for the big man down the line.

First Appearance:

Monstroso

So that about wraps it up. This was one of the funnest times I had and it was great to get back to it after so long. Next time we get some of the best the series has ever done, again and finally get to my all time faviorite episode, something I don’t think my rewatches of seasons 5-7 is going to change. If you enjoyed this review consider joining my patreon to help me keep these thick boys going and for bonus content

You can find it here

And as an added bonus in a few days i’m doing a summer fun poll to pick a movie for me to review that’s summery this month. Me and my patreons have picked some true classics: UHF, Hot Fuzz, Batman 1989, Transformers the Movie and The Simpsons Movie are all on the ballet and it’s up to you to pick which one. So you lucky folks who read ALL this way get to vote early.

Poll link is here, vote wisely

And i’ll see you all in a month though your free to stick around for more fun stuff.

#adult swim #the venture bros #hank venture #dean venture #sgt hatred #brock sampson #rusty venture #kevin conroy #henchman 21 #retrospective #go team venture #dr byron orpheus

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cosmiclatte28 · 4 years ago

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Comfort (Yuta x you)

a/n : WAIST has gotten a lot of love! Thank you everyone..and this is just another scenario similar to that one. Sorry for being away and unable to post stories as frequent as before, I was caught up with hws and tests. plus my finals are coming.

So, here is another domestic Yuta... to the Yuta fanfic lovers out there I know @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i

It's stressful. February is the shortest month of the year, yet it is the most frustrating one, at least for you.

Midterm has just ended and you're drained to the point where you've been lacking sleeps just to finish reading all the chapters, stay awake with coffees to concentrate on the test, and totally holding your scream back when the test ended and the score was not satisfying.

You were even more tired when the materials you read during your sleeping schedule did not make it to the questions.

You thought once the paper is turned over, you can just fly home and jump on your bed to sleep.

No, you have to finish some more labs, homework’s, and finals are coming!

You have been laying down on the sofa, face down on your belly. You did not hear it when the door clicks, and your boyfriend comes to visit you.

"Oh? Nani?" Yuta asks to himself when he steps into the not so tidy room. He knows this small studio room you rent by heart. He always love how you're able to keep the small area clean and tidy the room well to make it spacious. But not today, he's surprised to find your scattered papers and books on the dining table and the study table. Your laptop is still on, and the living room table is messy with some clothes.

Yuta walks silently to the pantry, checking on your trash and refrigerator to check if you've been eating well or not.

His guess was right, you did not eat properly. His eyes scan through the highlighted textbook pages and your neat notes. Yuta sighs as he calmly puts his phone down and begins sorting your notes and piling them up into one stack.

He sees you on the sofa, looking lifeless. You must be asleep, or else you'd already bombarded him with the story of your hectic week.

Yuta just smile when he remembers how he used to work hard like you back then in high school days. Right now, he is an idol and his training is different than yours. He didn't have papers this much, but he is also working as hard as regular students.

Yuta continues his journey to the living room, cleaning up the mess you made and gets on his knee to watch you sleep.

He pushes your hairs away and gasps when his fingers touch your moist warm cheeks and wet eyelashes.

You're crying in your sleep? Or you cried yourself to sleep?

He glances to the clock, it's past dinner already, somewhere around nine. Appropriate for bedtime considering you must've lacked sleep for the last week.

"(Y/n)~" Yuta softly whispers into your ear, then leans in to kiss your head slowly to wake you up.

You stir in your sleep and blink several times before peeking through your hairs to find your boyfriend already looking at you.

You yawn "Ah Yuta- you're-" you pause yawning again "-here."

You try to push yourself from laying down, but there's not much energy from you and you remain slumped on the chair.

Yuta just gives you a small smile before hoisting you up, so you're seated on the sofa properly.

He sits next to you, and you automatically lean to his side.

"How long have you been here?" Your question is still slurred, just like when people get up from sleep.

"Thirty minutes? You're deep asleep on the sofa. Didn't I tell you to sleep on the bed. You'll get sick if you sleep here." He rubs his hand lovingly through your long hair.

You snuggle closer to him and just hum.

Your emotion lately hasn’t been great, something super melancholy is running in your body. Was it the lack of sleep? Homesickness? Missing Yuta? Or just the pressure of performing well in class?

Yuta senses how the atmosphere is down. He regularly comes here to visit you to recharge himself by listening to your lively rants and gossips. It's something new to find you-the battery- to be this sad.

Yuta takes the queue that this is his time to take care of you.

"Are you okay?" He starts by asking you the simple question you always ask him.

You shake your head. Your body is already facing him, one of your leg is folded on the sofa while the other is dangling on the edge. Your arms have already hugged his slightly toned arm and your cheek is on his shoulder.

Yuta clicks his tongue and gently pulls you up his lap. You make yourself comfortable straddling him and lean your face to his chest.

Your small petite figure makes it super easy to fit fully into Yuta's body and you feel yourself calm down as you listen to his calm steady heartbeats.

"Mind to share?" He rakes his fingers through your hair while his other hand is secured around the small of your back. Just resting there to tell you, he is here, and you are safe with him.

You stay silent and remain frozen. You want to share, but you don’t know what’s making you feel this way.

Your eyes focus on the tiny fleece on Yuta’s sweater and your hand fumble with his soft sweater.

You lean into his warm embrace, exhaling all of your tension away and fall completely limp to him.

“I don’t know what is bothering me. Everything just-“ you pause, trying to find the right words, “pile up and suddenly I burst into tears and slept.” You pout, your finger begins to trace random lines on Yuta’s back when you feel his thumb starts grazing over your bare waist. Ah Yuta and his habit, you may be honest and admit you miss this feeling.

“Well, that was you not realizing you’re holding your emotion back too much because you’re too focused on something else.” The Japanese man in his calm deep voice whispers into your ear.

You hum once again and feel soft kisses on your shoulder.

Yuta knows he cannot get things out of your heart if you’re not willing to tell him, or like what you admit… you just don’t know which one is affecting you.

So, he sticks to his one and only way of comforting you, by staying with you and letting you know he is here for you.

His big hand moves from only holding your waist to hugging it and he brings his other free hand to your neck. Gently he pulls you closer to his warmth, you melt yourself into Yuta, into your comfort, your safe place, your home.

Inhaling his scent can already help you breathe better.

Feeling his touch makes you sure he is here and he won’t leave you.

Melting into his body, makes you smile at how perfectly fitting both of you are.

Having Yuta for yourself is like winning the lottery and you’re more than glad to exchange everything in this world for you to be with him again.

You just need Yuta, hugging you, tracing circles on your waist, breathing next to your ear, letting you listen to his heart beat, and kissing your shoulder bit by bit to make yourself feel better and ready.

Yes, ready for a new day, a new chance, a new page.

“Thank you for coming tonight.” you finally broke the comfortable silence.

You pull yourself away from his warmth, thinking that he must feel numb already keeping your body on top of his for almost an hour.

You’re like a koala hugging a tree for dear life!

Yuta smiles and you feel the night is no longer gloomy, not when you have your starry man here with you. He pushes your hair back to your ear and pecks your lips “You could always call me anytime! I’ll find my way back to you.”

You nod “I know, you’re one call away.” You smile, this time it is nothing forced. It’s a natural smile that always appear when you talk about Yuta.

He suddenly wraps your arms around his shoulder and places your legs over his waist. With one swift, he has you in the air hanging on his body.

“Now that you’re smiling already, your body is cold but your face is warm. You’ve skipped meals!” he scolds you as he walks to the kitchen with you on his body. You feel like a little kid getting scolded by their mother.

You blush “How am I warm and cold at the same time?”

He gets flustered at that question but shrugs it off “Your face is warm, I don’t want you to fall sick just because I let you sleep without a proper meal. Your fingertips are cold. How could you skip meals?” he puts you down on the chair and goes to check your food supply.

“Great, you just have eggs and oh ramen.” He picks up two packages and starts boiling the water.

“I’ll bring you to a proper meal tomorrow morning. No rejection or refutation, you need to be healthy despite being so engrossed in studying.”

You nod “Okay mom-“ you teasingly joke with him.

He giggles “You’re glad I am not your real mom, or I’d already whip you for not eating properly.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind… please accompany me to do grocery shopping tomorrow.” You glance to the empty kitchen racks. You usually have some snacks or popcorns ready, some booster drinks and fun candies. It’s all gone during test prep and you’re too tired to restock them, but now that you have Yuta who can help you carry the things up to the room… you might as well use his help right?

“I love you, Yuta.” You suddenly back hug him and press your cheek into his back. He was way taller, you cannot lean your chin on his shoulder, so this is cute enough.

Your eyes cannot leave how his strong body, but pretty figure looks perfect in an apron, cooking ramen.

He puts the fork down and turns his body to face you. He cups your face and kisses you softly “I love you too, now don’t go too hard on yourself okay? Always know that you have me and I will always be here for you (Y/n)~”

You nod “I am also always here for you, Yuta!”

end

thank you! cheer up and hold on :D tomorrow will be better :D

have a nice day/night

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crystalninjaphoenix · 3 years ago

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Nights in the City

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

Almost forgot to queue this, oops. Luckily I remembered just in time :) Anyway, this is a chapter about Schneep, because I feel like we should give him more attention in this AU. I mean, he’s a cool badass superhero, and we haven’t seen that much superhero-ing so far! So, here’s a short chapter about what that usually entails for him, with some cameos from the boys and some background characters. Enjoy :)

More of this AU found here

When most people lied about calling in sick to work, they were planning on doing something fun with their free time. But when Schneep lied about being sick, it was because he’d heard that there were some shady dealings going down on the north side of town that morning, and he had to be there to hear the information. Truly, the life of a vigilante was a glamorous one.

At least he’d had an extra-large cup of coffee that morning to make up for it. That would keep him alert as he waited on a rooftop ledge for said shady people to show up. This would be a terrible place to lose his balance. But it was the best hiding spot in the area, partially covered by a decorative stone outcropping while still being within earshot of the street below. It was a cloudy day, and not a lot of people were out and about. Which is why, when two people walked up to each other and sat down on a bench outside the building where Schneep was hiding, he paid extra close attention.

Luckily, there wasn’t too much wind or other background noise. He managed to get the gist of what these two were talking about. They were using a lot of the common code words that criminals in the city had developed. And he was familiar enough with that code to figure out they were talking about smuggling some firearms into the city. They mentioned the west edge more than once, referencing some common location that he wasn’t familiar with. And then they left.

Schneep frowned under his mask. It wasn’t a lot to go off of...but he didn’t mind. It would be nice to distract himself with a normal criminal case. To take his mind off all the stressful supernatural shit they’d been going through for the past months. And as a distraction, it was working. As he carefully slid off the roof ledge and onto a windowsill below, he was already running through the crime hotspots he knew about in the west side of the city.

Now that he was grabbing onto the windowsill below, he was about twenty feet above ground, so he dropped off the building altogether. With the ease of years of practice, he landed on his feet, letting his specially designed boots absorb the shock of the fall. Great. Now all he had to do was go home and spend the rest of the day narrowing down locations.

But as he turned to leave, Schneep paused. There was a car parked down the street, on the opposite side. Not unusual, but...it had been parked there when he arrived to eavesdrop on the criminals’ conversation. An hour ago. And again, not too unusual, but...it just didn’t look like the kind of car that would be common in this area. It was too new and clean.

Wary, Schneep looked away from it. After a moment’s hesitation, he started to walk down the street away from the car, remaining on edge and listening for anything odd.

Sure enough, as soon as he started to walk away, he heard the sound of a car starting and pulling onto the road. Going slow. Approaching. He sped up a bit, glancing around for alternate routes.

After only a minute, the car was driving alongside him. He glanced over at it just as the window rolled down. A voice shouted, “Hey!”

And Schneep immediately turned and ran into a gap between the buildings. “Hey wait!” The voice shouted, and he heard the car stop, but he didn’t slow down. There was a fire escape up ahead with a ladder, pulled up so the end was about six and a half feet off the ground. He jumped, catching onto the bottom rung, and started climbing. There were more shouts on the ground below. He didn’t pay attention to what they were saying. Instead, once he reached the first landing of the fire escape, he pushed open the window and ducked inside the—fortunately—abandoned building.

He quickly found the staircase and climbed up until he reached the roof access. Once up there, he glanced around and noticed that this building was fairly close to one of the ones next to it. So without hesitation, he jumped across the gap and onto the next building’s roof. Only then did he pause, and look over the edge to the street below.

The building was about five stories tall. Short enough that he could see a figure on the sidewalk below, tall enough to make it difficult to tell who they were. Luckily, he didn’t have to. He’d gotten a pretty good look of her when she rolled down the car window earlier. It was that detective, Kikelomo. The one who’d been working on Jackie’s disappearance, and later, the kids’ as well. And...the detective he’d ran into when he’d snuck into the police station a month ago.

“Scheiße,” Schneep cursed. He’d half-hoped that she’d forgotten about seeing him, but apparently not. And apparently she’d managed to put together that the stranger from that day was him...or, more accurately, was his ‘hero identity,’ Von Voltage. It wasn’t surprising. After all, he’d zapped a couple people when getting away. Probably a big no-no to zap people working for the police, but he’d been more concerned with leaving as fast as possible.

Was she looking for him? She must have been, but how did she find him? Silently, Schneep watched as she walked out to her car—which she parked in the middle of the street when she got out to chase him, that was a bit of a dick move—and climbed into the driver’s side, soon speeding off. He waited until the car was out of sight before leaving.

———————

A while later, Schneep arrived at Marvin and Jameson’s house, still in his super suit. He’d been careful not to be seen while running here, just in case Kikelomo was still trailing him without him knowing. But by the time he reached their street, he was pretty sure she was gone. This neighborhood wasn’t too busy, any activity was noteworthy. But he didn’t see anything strange. And JJ’s car was still in his driveway, so at least one of them was home.

Letting himself relax a bit, Schneep hurried to their front door, pulling his mask off as soon as he reached the doorstep. Without knocking, he opened the door, calling out, “Hello? Who is home?” And then he froze.

Normally, the front hall of the town house was empty. But not today. And the person he ran into wasn’t Marvin or JJ. It was Jack. Leaning against the wall by the kitchen entrance, Sam on his shoulder, looking at his phone. But he looked up at the sound of Schneep’s voice. And slowly, took in the outfit he was wearing. “Well that would explain some things,” he muttered, looking down at Sam. “Wouldn’t it?” They nodded.

“I—I—uh—you—it’s—ah—” Schneep stammered for a few seconds before clearing his throat. “What are you doing here?” he asked, slowly closing the front door behind him.

“JJ called me. There’s...um...a situation.” Jack gestured towards the kitchen entrance. Now that Schneep was getting over the shock of running into a stranger, he could hear someone’s voice coming from the room. “Apparently everyone else was busy.”

Schneep frowned. “Excuse me.” He walked past Jack and peered into the kitchen.

The voice that Schneep could hear was Marvin’s. He was arguing loudly with JJ. But Schneep could tell that wasn’t the ‘situation’ Jack was referring to. No, the ‘situation’ probably had to do with the fact that Marvin was pale as a sheet and sweating, even as he continued to argue. JJ wasn’t arguing back because his hands were busy helping keep Marvin upright, arms wrapped around his torso. Marvin clearly didn’t have the energy to stand on his own, and was holding onto JJ’s shirt tightly, even as he continued to protest.

“—not worth th’ trouble, it’s all fine,” Marvin was saying. “Y’can just go on and stop fuckin’ worryin’ about me. I can handle t’is, ‘ve done it a million times.”

JJ frowned, and didn’t say anything. Oddly enough, he was wearing his mask today, usually he only wore that for performances. He glanced over towards the door that connected the kitchen and the dining room. A red-haired woman was standing there, but at his look, she said, “Right, right,” and stepped aside. Immediately, JJ started dragging Marvin to the dining room.

“Hey! No! Drop it, Jems!” Marvin hit him weakly in the shoulder. “I don’ need to sit down.”

JJ just looked at him doubtfully.

Schneep felt this was a good moment to interject. “Ah, am I interrupting something?”

The two of them looked over at him. “Henrik! Tell him ‘m fine!” Marvin said.

“Sorry, I cannot do that,” Schneep said. “I would hate to lie to my friends.”

“Wha...?” Marvin groaned. “Alrigh’ fffffine, I’ll go...go sit at the table.” JJ looked relieved, and helped him over to the dining room, gesturing for Schneep to join them.

Nodding, Schneep retreated back into the hallway, circling around to the dining room. Jack, having heard most of that exchange, followed him.

Over in the dining room, Marvin had taken a seat at the table, leaning forward. He looked like he wanted to put his head down on the surface, but was barely resisting the urge. JJ was standing next to him, and the redheaded woman was standing off to the side. Upon seeing her, Schneep tried to retreat, again remembering that he was still wearing his super suit. Unfortunately, she caught sight of him before he could back out of the room. She gave him a friendly smile and waved.

“So...what is happening?” Schneep asked slowly.

JJ started to explain in sign language. I have rehearsal today. The first one since the...voice accident. So I really need to go. But Marvin got sick this morning and I didn’t want to leave him alone, because of how he is. But he’s insisting I go anyway and I didn’t need to call anyone to watch him, because he’s fine. A lot of the words were finger-spelled, slowing down the speech, but he was starting to get the hang of it. Nowadays he signed more frequently than he wrote.

“I see.” Schneep nodded wisely. A rehearsal, that would explain why JJ was wearing his mask. “And so you called these two to help?” He indicated Jack and the redheaded woman.

I called Jack, Jameson said, finger-spelling the name. Because Jackie’s at work, and Anti’s busy recording today, and I thought you were at work, too. I thought Jack could help, if it wasn’t a bother.

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Jack said. “I was happy to come over and hang out. There’s just the bonus matter of making sure Marvin doesn’t kill himself.”

“I know what ‘m doin’,” Marvin grumbled.

You do, you just decide to cause problems on purpose, JJ rebutted.

“Okay,” Schneep said, mentally filing away the fact that Jack knew BSL. He turned to the redheaded woman. “And you are...?”

“I’m Aoife,” the woman said. “A friend of Jameson’s. He invited me to watch his rehearsal, since apparently he likes to have someone in the audience usually and Marvin wasn’t up for it. But I don’t know how to get to the theatre where he’s rehearsing, so I thought I’d stop by to ask Jameson if he could drive me. When I walked in, these two were faffing about.”

“No, Jems was faffing, I wasn’,” Marvin protested.

“Everyone is Irish,” Schneep muttered. “Dare I ask what that means?”

I understand it means ‘wasting time,’ basically, Jameson said.

“An’ you were def’nitely wasting time,” Marvin added. “Ye’ll be late at...at t’is rate.”

I’d be okay with that, as long as someone’s here to make sure you don’t do anything to tire yourself out.

“Stop worryin’ ‘bout me, you always...ye always worry ‘bout others. Be concerned with yourself, for once. Spreading too thin, stop.” Marvin’s words were starting to slur together.

“Well, ah, I was stopping by to ask if I could stay for a while,” Schneep asked. “So...I could stay and help out.”

Would you? Jameson asked.

“Of course.”

“Ye jus’ poppin’ in to check on us?” Marvin grinned a bit. “Real swell o’you.”

“That, and...ah...” Schneep awkwardly looked down at his costume. “I was out, and I didn’t—I-I wasn’t ready to go home yet. Not that there is any danger, I just...for me.” Even though he was sure Detective Kikelomo hadn’t followed him here, there was a lingering sense of paranoia that wouldn’t leave him alone.

It’s fine, Henrik, Jameson said. Jack, do you want to stay?

“If everyone’s fine with it,” Jack said cheerfully.

Marvin muttered something under his breath, finally laying his head down on the table. He appeared to have given up on getting JJ to not worry about him.

That would be so helpful, thank you both. JJ sighed. He shook Marvin’s shoulder, getting his attention. Call me if you need anything. And please, actually take the medicine this time?

“Sure, Jems,” Marvin said softly. “I promise. Now get out o’here.”

JJ nodded, and headed out, gesturing for Aoife to follow him. I’ll see all of you this afternoon. Five at the latest.

“Have fun, Jameson,” Schneep said. “Do lots of mag—oof!”

“Oh, sorry!” Aoife had bumped into him as she walked past to leave the room. She gave him a smile. “I didn’t mean it, I was trying to be quiet.”

“Is fine, do not worry,” Schneep assured her.

“Great. Oh, and if you find it, don’t get rid of it, will you?” Before Schneep could ask what she meant, she breezed past him and followed JJ out of the door.

Schneep was quiet for a moment, staring after her. Then he turned back to Jack and Marvin. “Do you two know what she meant?”

Marvin paused. “No, but I do know somet’ing. Aoife, she’s...she’s Jems’s magician friend. Works for whatever magic...place there is out there. For magicians. An’ she’s told him that she...her specialty is divination. So it’s probably important.”

Schneep blinked. “Divination? Like...seeing the future?” He couldn’t hide the skeptical tone in his voice.

“It’s not so weird,” Jack said. “Like, Sam gets feelings that they should go do something. That’s how they met all of you. I think that’s a form of divination, if just a minor bit of it.” Sam jumped in agreement.

“Well...alright.” Schneep decided to put that aside for now. “Ah, Marvin. Were you doing anything in particular that made Jems think he should call someone?”

Marvin hesitated. “I was tryin’ t’make tea,” he finally mumbled.

“Oh, tea. That sounds like a good idea,” Schneep said. “I will go make some, then.”

“...t’ank you.”

“No problem at all.” And Schneep headed back into the kitchen, determined to forget about the detective who was looking for him.

———————

The next few days passed uneventfully. Schneep would spend his nights scouting out locations, looking for a place that could fit the area the two criminals were referring to. They mentioned this arms deal going down a week from then, so he had that much time to narrow down where it could be taking place. He settled on three possible locations in the western part of the city that could fit, and decided to check each of them when the day came.

Said day arrived quickly, and it dawned rainy. That was annoying. And cold, because of course it was, it was practically winter by this point. His suit was insulated, but he still felt the chill. He could’ve just let it go, but he didn’t become a notorious vigilante by giving up. So he found himself running about in the rain for hours, tracking down the locations.

The first two were busts, no suspicious activity there. But as they say, the third time was the charm. Schneep arrived at an old electronics shop just as the sun was starting to go down on the dark rainy day. The sign out front said it was closed, but the lights were on inside. Not too unusual. Except for the fact that he’d suspected this place was some sort of front for a while.

Schneep waited in the shadows across the street, making sure the glowing parts of his costume were turned off, and watched the shop. He’d brought along a pair of binoculars for the scouting that day, and kept an eye on the front and side entrances. It was a few minutes before he caught sight of movement near the side. People. He couldn’t make out the details, but someone appeared in the front window to close the blinds. Maybe nothing. Or maybe...

It warranted further investigation. Schneep slipped the binoculars into a backpack, which he left tucked into a space in the wall caused by missing bricks, and hurried across the street to the shop. There weren’t many alternative entrances to this place. He’d checked. The closest thing was a window in the back, so he circled around the building to reach it. The window was high in the wall, but there were some trash cans in the nearby alley that he pulled over so he could reach it.

Carefully, he peered over the ledge through the window. It was a bit difficult to make out the room at first, since the glass was dirty on the inside and covered in rain on the outside, but he could see a group of people. Eight of them, separated into two groups of four. And wouldn’t you know it? He recognized two of them as the pair he’d overheard last week.

The window was the type that would slide open. So Schneep slid it open an inch, listening for voices over the sound of the rain.

“—just hurry up, neither of us want this to last forever,” one voice was saying.

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your pants in a twist.” There was the sound of cloth rustling. “See? It’s right here.”

“How do we know it’s all there? And real?”

“Well, how do we know you aren’t handing over some shoddy weapons? Or ones that’ll be tracked by the coppers?”

“Just shut up,” a different voice said. “If we keep goin’ this way, we’ll be at a standoff all night. Let’s just exchange goods at the same time, then check them over.”

“Right.”

“That sounds fine to me.”

Just by this snippet of conversation, Schneep figured out that there were two groups in this exchange, and they had some trust issues with each other. Great, that would mean he’d be fighting two groups of four instead of one unified group of eight. Hopefully, some of them would try to run or attack the other group when he jumped in. And speaking of which...this seemed like a good time. When the ‘goods’ were changing hands. Silently, he slid open the window. It opened wide enough for a person. So he grabbed the edge of the windowsill, braced himself, and just as someone inside was saying, “Hey, the window’s open—” he leapt through.

He landed in the center of the room, causing instant confusion and shouting. Quickly, he grabbed the nearest person and zapped them, instantly knocking them unconscious. There was a large crate on a wheeled dolly nearby, so he kicked that towards two others. One jumped out of the way but the other was surprised and easily got knocked over.

“This was a setup!” One of the criminals shouted, pulling out a knife. “You dirty bastards!”

“Don’t pin this on us!” Another yelled, pulling out a knife of her own.

So none of them had firearms. At least, that he could see. And he assumed that the crate had some inside, so that was a factor. He’d have to be—

One of the criminals came charging at him, swiping with a knife. Schneep dodged out of the way, but wasn’t fast enough to avoid the blade grazing across his upper arm. Luckily, it didn’t break through the suit. He grabbed the culprit’s arm with both hands and, with a fair amount of effort, threw them into another criminal who was also running towards him. He let out another burst of electricity from his gloves as he did so, rendering that one unconscious as well. Then he ducked close to the ground, scooping up the knife the criminal dropped in surprise when he threw him, and dodged to the side, avoiding the sudden rush of every other criminal trying to grab him at once.

So that was two down, one temporarily out of commission as he tried to wiggle out from under the body of his friend. The one he’d hit with the crate was standing up, trying to pry open the lid. “Oh no, don’t you dare,” Schneep growled, lunging over towards the crate and grabbing one edge of it. The criminal looked up at him, shocked, then tried to punch him. He ducked, and swung the knife he’d picked up. The criminal ducked in turn, but didn’t notice that Schneep had also lunged forward, other hand coming from the other side and knocking him unconscious with a single hit. Three down.

Two of the remaining ones were now fighting with each other—as he’d predicted—and grappling in the corner. The one who’d been knocked down was standing again, recovering her bearings, and the other two were running at him. Quickly, he decided on a priority: get the crate full of guns out of reach of any of these people before taking them out. So naturally, he pushed it forward again. The two running at him leaped out of the way, clearly not wanting the same thing to happen to them as happened to their friend. Schneep took advantage of their distraction and ran after the crate, grabbing the edge of the dolly and swinging it around so it was facing the room’s door. Then he pushed it out, running after it.

“Hey!” They were shouting after him, but he couldn’t slow down. The crate, being large and heavy, was swiftly gaining momentum as it rolled down the hall. He managed to turn it through the open doorway leading to the front of the shop, but once it was in there, all he could do was aim it for the front entrance.

The crate easily smashed through the double doors and rolled out onto the street, impacting the side of a car—wait, a car?!

A siren started up, and blue lights started to flash through the blinds of the front window. Schneep let out a string of curses under his breath. He could either turn back and try to leave through the window or the side entrance, facing a small group of criminals with knives, or go through the front door and try to avoid who-knows-how-many police officers, none of whom liked him.

He thought about it for a split second before turning and going back into the back of the shop. Luckily, the criminals were also taken by surprise, so he managed to slip by them and out through the side entrance before they could. He started to run, but then paused. He grabbed one of the trash cans that he hadn’t used to get through the back window and pulled it in front of the side door, barring it. Then he started to run, heading towards the opposite end of the alley.

But then a bright yellow light shone into the alleyway. Schneep glanced behind him just long enough to confirm his first thoughts: car headlights. And a voice shouted, “You there!” and he turned and ran. Hopefully the still-falling rain would make it easy for him to lose them.

“Wait! Don’t run again!” Footsteps splashed behind him, but he didn’t stop. He ran until he reached the other end of the alley and emerged onto the opposite street. This side was empty. He glanced left, then right, then turned left and kept running. The footsteps were keeping pace with him, but if he could just get to a ladder or something he could lose them on the rooftops.

One of the streetlamps overhead was out, leaving a patch of shadow on the sidewalk and road. He ran underneath it and looked back towards the person behind—

Slip.

Because of the rain, the broken streetlamp, and that backwards glance, he didn��t see the water pooling on the sidewalk, or notice the curb that marked the corner of the street. One misstep was all it took for him to fall hard onto the street, hitting his head, and everything flashed white before fading to black.

———————

The pain was the first thing Schneep noticed when regaining consciousness. The back of his head felt like his skull had split open. The second thing he noticed was that he was lying on...a seat of some kind. A sofa? Well, it was a hard and unusually small sofa if that was the case. He heard voices as well, or maybe just one, but couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, so he ignored them and opened his eyes. Black spots danced in front of him, a shadowy face faded into his peripheral vision before fading away. Well, that was normal, so he ignored that, too. “Ja, piss off,” he muttered.

“Well, that’s a bit rude.”

That voice...sounded a bit more solid. And as he looked around his surroundings, it reinforced that first impression. He wasn’t lying on a sofa, but in the backseat of a car. Rain dotted the windows, and a light in the ceiling overhead lit up the scene in a yellow-white glow. He glanced towards the direction the voice had come from. And came face to face with Detective Kikelomo, sitting in the front seat of the car, looking around the back of the seat to stare at him.

His heart stopped. He realized he wasn’t wearing his mask anymore. Okay, time to disregard the slight murmurings that he could still hear, this was higher priority. After a moment of staring at her, frozen, he lurched into a sitting position and turned around to try and open the car door. That didn’t work, because first, it was locked, and second, the sudden motion sent a wave of nausea coursing through him. He groaned again, pressing his forehead to the car window and clenching his teeth.

“Be careful,” Kikelomo said. “You were out for a few minutes, and you might have a concussion. I was going to offer to drive you to the hospital after this.”

“Is fine,” Schneep said through gritted teeth. “I can take care of it.” Jackie would be waiting for him back at his apartment anyway. Though he didn’t like the idea of making him worried with a possible concussion, it was probably better to get his opinion first before taking it to a doctor who’d ask questions.

“Take care of it the way you took care of that puddle Rachel said you slipped in?” At this point, Schneep realized there was someone else in the car, in the front passenger seat. A woman, with blonde hair cut to chin-length. “Real nice for some superhero.”

“Shut...up.” Schneep squeezed his eyes shut. God, his head still hurt. But more importantly...“Am I being detained?”

“Well...” Kikelomo picked at the stitching on her leather seat, glanced over at the other woman, then looked back at Schneep. “No. Not exactly.”

That wasn’t what he was expecting. Schneep looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?”

“That wasn’t my plan at all,” Kikelomo said. “Though...I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t considering it. I was going back and forth, but then...well...that note convinced me.”

“Note?” Schneep asked, confused.

The other woman held up a folded piece of paper, a bit wet from the rain but not enough to lose its integrity. “This fell out of your...costume...when we were dragging you into the car. What’s this about, anyway?”

Schneep managed to sit up straight. “May I see that?”

The woman shrugged, and handed it over. He quickly unfolded it. There was a message written on it, in solid, straight handwriting. It read: To Rachel and Lydia. He means you no harm, and is no threat to you. I think you should let him go, because he’s currently dealing with something that your normal police can’t handle. It’d be better for everyone that way. Oh, and swing by that shop on Everett that you’ve been wanting to visit on Saturday :)

He read it a couple times, processing what it said. “I...have no idea what this is,” he finally admitted.

“Really?” Kikelomo said doubtfully.

“Really, I—” Schneep paused. “Oh.” Last week, when he’d gone to Marvin and JJ’s house. That magician friend of JJ’s, Aoife, had bumped into him. She said something weird about not getting rid of something ‘if he found it.’ This must be that something. “I understand now. It got slipped into one of my pockets, I did not even know it was there.”

Kikelomo still looked unsure. “Well...who put it there? And how did they know our first names?”

Schneep shrugged. “Someone who bumped into me. A stranger.” Not technically a lie, he wasn’t familiar with Aoife. But Marvin said she had divination magic. Had she...known this would happen?

“Alright, fine, let’s put that aside for now,” Kikelomo dismissed. “You’re not being detained, but I would like to ask you a few questions.”

“Only if you let me ask you some first,” Schneep insisted. “How did you find me? What are you planning to do? Who is this other person?”

“My name’s Lydia,” the other woman said casually. “I’m her fiancée.”

“Ah. Okay. Then what are you doing here?”

“Helping. This was all her idea, but I thought I’d join in. And good thing I did, someone needed to bring the car around when you knocked yourself the fuck out just a street over from a police raid.”

“That is fair,” Schneep relented.

“Let me start with your first question,” Kikelomo said. “I know you follow a lot of the illicit activity in the city. So, I kept my ears open for any cases going on that you might be interested in. We got a tip that there were some negotiations going on between the Striped Snakes and Monte Blanca, and I thought you might be interested in that. Apparently it was a well-known fact in the underworld. So I just followed along with the investigation.” She paused. “Technically, I’m not supposed to be here,” she admitted.

Schneep took a moment to process this. “So...you were investigating, out on your own, with the possibility of getting in trouble for it...on the chance that you would run into me.”

“...yes,” Kikelomo mumbled.

“Hey, trust me Mr. Voltage Guy, this is the first time she’s done something like this,” Lydia said. She sounded rather upbeat about that fact, almost proud.

“But I knew I had to!” Kikelomo protested. “After you snuck into the records at the police station, it took me a while to realize I’d seen you before. Actually, Rya was the one who remembered. You’re a friend of Dr. Parker, aren’t you?” Schneep hesitated, not willing to answer. But that was enough. “I thought it was strange that you risked going into the station, but once I figured out you were friends with him—he disappeared, didn’t he? And so did his daughter and her friend? It’s an unusual set of circumstances, and since you like to take the law into your own hands, I figured you were trying to do something about it. Aren’t you?”

Schneep rolled his eyes, then winced as that caused a few more black spots to dance before his eyes. He really should get his head looked at soon. “You say that about taking the law into my own hands, but are you not doing the same thing, following me, tagging along on a case that wasn’t yours? Hmm?”

“I...” Kikelomo paused. “This is for my case. It’s my job to find out what happened to your friend and those kids, and if you can help—”

“Well I can’t,” Schneep interrupted.

Kikelomo blinked. “Look...I understand that you...have an operation...here. And I will admit, it does actually help in some circumstances, even if you break a thousand laws on the way. But clearly, whoever is behind this has skill. Not only have they managed to stay hidden this long, but I believe they somehow manipulated your friend’s and the kids’ memories, which is no small feat. In this case, the resources of the police are more qualified to handle this.”

At that, Schneep couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Kikelomo watched, shifting awkwardly in her seat and giving Lydia a few unsure glances. “Maybe I should...rephrase what I said,” Schneep finally said. “You cannot help me. You are not qualified for this. Trust me, I am barely qualified for this. And, quite frankly, you do not want to be involved. I often disagree with the saying ‘ignorance is bliss,’ but I think it applies in this situation.”

Kikelomo was unsure how to respond. She glanced at Lydia, who just shrugged and said, “Remember that note? It said something about the normal police not being able to handle this.”

“Even so, I can’t imagine a situation where you don’t want more hands on deck. Unless this is somehow...I don’t know, if the government is involved or if it’ll cause a scandal. But still, I’d think I’d pick up if this was something like that.”

“No, you wouldn’t. The people who want stuff like that under wraps are very good at keeping it that way.”

“Still.” Kikelomo glanced back over at Schneep, who said nothing. He didn’t care what she thought about this situation, as long as she left it alone. “We could provide protection for your friend—”

“No, you cannot,” Schneep said firmly.

And Kikelomo fell silent again. Then she slowly turned around and started the car. “If we’re not taking you to the hospital, where are we going?”

“Drop me off on the corner of Underhill and Yew,” Schneep said, pulling his mask back on despite knowing it wouldn’t help anymore. “And please stop following me. You are just making me paranoid all the time.”

The car ride that followed was awkward and silent, but luckily, it was soon over, and Schneep stepped out of the car and onto a rainy street. He didn’t move until they were gone, and then he sighed. Well, that was bad. He didn’t want anyone knowing his identity, much less a detective and her girlfriend. But hopefully, they’d drop the matter, and he’d never run into them again.

———————

Unfortunately, those hopes were dashed two days later.

It was getting towards the end of his work shift, and Schneep was ready to leave. Not for any particular reason, he just didn’t have the energy. He’d considered taking the day off for medical purposes by calling in and telling his manager that he’d hit his head a couple days ago and had to stay home. Even if Jackie said that he’d be alright, that would still be reason enough. But he’d decided against it on the grounds that he’d already taken a few days off and risked losing his job if he did it again.

So here he was. Staring at the wall clock in the chance that it’ll go faster if he watched it. Then he heard the familiar sound of the front entrance opening and closing and Jennifer, his coworker, said, “Could you get that? I’m working on the order for the last guys.”

Sighing, he nodded, and headed out to the front counter. “Hello, welcome to Latte Lake, what can I—” Then he stopped. “You are fucking kidding me.”

The pair of customers who’d just walked in were none other than Detective Kikelomo and Lydia. Clearly off-duty, wearing casual street clothes and looking relaxed, but it was them nonetheless. And they looked just as surprised as he did. “Ohhh, that’s why the note said to come here,” Lydia muttered.

“The note—oh.” Schneep took a deep breath as he remembered the last line of the note Aoife had put in his suit. Something about the two of them going to a shop on Everett. The street where Latte Lake, the shop he worked at, was located. That should have rang a few bells when he read it, but there were a lot of shops on the street, and he’d had more pressing matters on his mind. “The next time I see that—that magician, I am going to kill her,” he muttered.

“Sounds like someone really wanted us to continue the conversation, if you ask me,” Kikelomo said, sounding a bit smug.

“Can we not do this now?” Schneep asked. “Do you know how much of a—how bad of an asshole you have to be to do something like this while someone is at work, and cannot leave? An awful one. No. Stop this.”

“Ah...well, sorry,” Kikelomo muttered. “But we didn’t come here intending to do that. We just wanted to check out the cute little cafe.” She paused. “Alright, this is the last thing I’ll say. Are you sure you don’t need our help? I mean, we’re professionals and you’re...well, you’re very good, but it’s different.”

Schneep rubbed his eyes. “Look. I do not say this because I hate you, or any of the pol—the people you work with. I say this because you literally cannot help. You cannot catch Dis—the person behind this. You cannot do anything to him. Anything you can think of will not work. We are...are just...surviving. Avoiding him. We are working on stopping him, but so far, we cannot. And you will not be any better at it. I promise you.”

Kikelomo thought about this. “Who’s ‘we’?”

“I—” Schneep choked. Even letting that slip was too much. “No. Don’t. I am asking you politely, stop talking about this. I can go in the back and just stay there, I am only talking to you out of courtesy. Just...stop. Give it up.”

Lydia nudged Kikelomo. “Hey Rachel? Maybe drop it for now.”

And Kikelomo sighed. “Alright. I’ll drop it for now. But this isn’t over, I can promise you that. I’m a detective. I will figure out what’s going on.”

“And when you do, you will see how right I am,” Schneep said stubbornly. “Now if you will excuse me.” He turned around and called out, “Jennifer? Are you okay with switching?”

“Yeah, sure, Henrik,” Jennifer replied, not noticing the way Schneep winced as she said his name out loud in front of the detective. Silently, he switched places with her, and things went back to normal as Kikelomo and Lydia placed orders, sat down to wait, and then eventually left the shop once their orders were ready.

His shift ended soon after that, and he practically ran out of the door and down towards the bus stop. As he waited for the bus to arrive, he wondered. Should he have told them the truth? It may have been unbelievable, with magicians and a man out of time and a strange gray smiling creature tormenting them all. But maybe he could have convinced them?

No. No, it was just too unbelievable. And he didn’t want to be judged for it, especially when the person doing the judging had the power to do something about it. His situation was just too precarious, being a vigilante in a city where that was illegal. He couldn’t risk a detective having a low opinion of him.

Still, he was sure that this wouldn’t be the last time he’d see Detective Kikelomo. If she was so determined to figure out what was going on...maybe she’d be able to find the truth. And when that happened, Schneep would be happy to accept whatever help she offered. But he wasn’t going to be the one making the first move. He simply couldn’t afford to.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticegos #septic egos #jacksepticeye au #septic egos au #dr schneeplestein #brigid writes fanfiction #septicswitchau

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batterycityghoul · 4 years ago

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life update

Sorry I haven't been around much lately and relying pretty heavily on my queue. April has really been such a stressful month. I had to pay off my medical bills which was a lot of money on top of my health insurance and other bills. So basically I've had to work every day this month so I can pay off my taxes and other stuff next month...and I basically only have like $10 to my name until mid-May. But that's okay. I've paid off everything I need to this month and I've been working and stressing so much this month to make sure I have a little more wiggle room next month.

I also got super sick last week randomly and I've been slowly getting better. I'm not sure if it was from stress or what, but I'm really having a rough month. On top of some other things my family has been going through this month, it's just been really terrible. But I'm still here. Going to try to work on writing something and I've been making gifsets when I start feeling too overwhelmed.

Just wanted to say I appreciate y'all and thank you to everyone who has been there for me. Y'all are amazing and I love you all. 💖

#personal

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dragonslayer-5fanfiction · 5 years ago

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Haldir x Reader

Alright, here’s another one that I’ve had in my queue. I’m working on knocking the things out in my queue, and working on writing things that I’m not super comfortable with. So here’s another.

I longed to be outside, the Kingdom of Lothlorien is known for its ethereal beauty, yet here I am stuck in a meeting. With each passing moment the more focus I was losing in what the council was saying. I think they were talking about the orcs that have become more daring as of late. I know that is important, but I just couldn’t bring myself to focus. I found myself staring past the ellon talking and into the forest behind. I was glad there were windows in this room. The longer I stared, the stronger the longing to be outside became.

“Our march-warden is coming in today and tomorrow will give us a report of the field.” One elf said. I perked up at the thought of the march-warden coming back. His name is Haldir. He’s definitely one of a kind. They then changed the subject to something more about the borders, but the thought of the march-warden had me distracted me once again. Being a princess I am told that I will eventually be betrothed to someone from another kingdom. However, I have found someone I love, who my father would never let me be with. The march-warden. The meeting ended and I could not get out of there fast enough. I rushed right out to the gardens. I felt a weight lifted off of me once I was outside.

I wandered around for a while until I settled in a secluded spot hidden from the guards. I was so lost in thought that I didn’t hear someone come up behind me.

“Meleth, why are you out here by yourself?” Haldir asked. I jumped when he wrapped his arms around me, almost pulling us into the stream.

“Meleth, you scared me.” I turned in his arms.

“I heard you were coming in today in my meeting. After I heard that I simply could not focus.” He laughed and shook his head. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I missed you so much meleth.”

“I missed you too meleth-nin.” I smiled and pulled him closer to me. It had been months since we had seen each other in person. We sat down and started to talk about what has happened in our time apart. “The orcs are getting more and more daring. They have been caught trying to sneak over our walls, into our land. We have to fight them off daily. I’m glad to have a break, and to see you.” Haldir tightened his grip on me, like he was scared I was going to be ripped from him at any moment.

I looked up at him, “I’m not going anywhere.” I took his hand and placed it over my heart. He smiled and wrapped his hand around mine.

“I know, your father wouldn’t allow anyone to take you, but I don’t see you enough. Have you thought about talking to him?” I let a laugh escape and stood up.

“Haldir, are you serious? He would have your head, and lock me up in the dungeons for two thousand years! Is that what you want?” He stood up.

“Yes! Yes, I would do anything if it meant that I can be with you. I think you know that.” I turned towards him, just studying him. “I’m not trying to push you, but I want to be with you.”

“If you’re not trying to push me, then why do you always bring it up?!”

“Because I love you, and I want to be with you in public. I want to marry you. We’ve been hiding this for years and-” I cut him off.

“We’ve been hiding this for years, for a reason. I’ve already explained that to you. I love you, but-” this time he cut me off.

“But what? This isn’t going to work? You’re not going to come forward and tell your dad, so what we’re going to hide for the rest of our lives?”

“No but-”

“But what? This isn’t going to work.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Then you’ll tell your father?”

“Uh, no.”

“Then this isn’t going to work. I can’t keep seeing you.” I reached for him, and he stepped out of my reach. “I want you to know that I do love you, but if you won’t say something, then we can’t be together.”

“I’m just not ready to tell him, and I don’t want you to waste your time on me anymore. I’m sorry.” I turned and walked away leaving him alone in the clearing. I made my way through the gardens and into the meeting room. I went to my chambers and cried myself to sleep. I slept through dinner, and breakfast the next day. The only reason I was up and moving was because the maids came in and woke me up to get ready. They dressed me in this breathtaking pastel blue dress. It came to the edge of my shoulders, and dipped low in the front and back while maintaining my modesty. My hair was pulled back into waterfall braids, cascading down my back.In thirty minutes our meeting was where the march-warden would give us an update.

‘I feel sick to my stomach knowing that I’m going to see him today. I wish things could be different. I love him, I really do. If I just had the courage to tell my father, then things would be different. Maybe he’s right, maybe I should just tell him. I’d have to face the consequences eventually.’ I heard someone come in behind me, so I turned over my shoulder to see who it was. It was my father.

“Are you ready meleth-nin?” He asked.

“Yes.” I paused, turning around, “I have a question for you.”

“Yes?” I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves for what was to come.

“What would happen if I were to fall in love with someone?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Is this someone a noble or prince of another kingdom?” He asked.“No, he is neither, but he is loyal and caring.”

“If he is of lower status than you, then I will not permit it. I will not have this from my daughter.”

“But father, I love him. I think if you-”

“ENOUGH! I will not have this kind of attitude from you. You do not know this ellon, he could be after you for your status. My answer is final.”

“I do know him, I’ve known him for years, and we have been together for 20 of those. He is not after me for my status, I can promise you-”

“I’ve told you that is enough. Now we will discuss this later, but we have to go or we will be late. You will be breaking things off with him.” His voice was dangerous and I knew that the consequences would be severe if I did anything else, so I nodded and allowed him to escort me to the meeting. When we arrived I sat down in my seat and waited for Galadriel and Celeborn to start the meeting. They started it, but I was not focused at all. Then they turned the time over to Haldir, the march-warden, my love.

‘I wonder if he would take me back? I wonder if I could catch him after the meeting, maybe talk to him. Would he gather me in his arms, kiss me, tell me everything's okay? Would he take me back even-’

“Lady Y/N?” I shook my head, hearing my name being called.

“I’m sorry could you repeat that for me?” I let out a small laugh, but didn’t miss the way that Haldir looked at me. I almost missed the question again because I was watching him.

“What would you advise for a solution?” one of the ellons asked.

“I believe given all of the facts presented, that the best option is to protect our borders. Not by going out, but staying at the line and defending it there. If we go outside of our borders, then we run the risk of getting ambushed and losing more lives than is currently necessary.” I saw a few of the elves nod their heads, while some looked upset.

“That is not the best course of action, she hasn’t been paying attention the entire time.” I felt my father tense at my side.

“That is unfounded! The march-warden just told us that the orcs have been staying where they’re at. A few have come up to the border, looking for a way in, but they have yet to find one. I don’t see a reason why we should put the lives of our brothers, fathers, and loved ones at risk, when we are capable of fending them off. Needless bloodshed is not what is needed right now, I think we all can agree on that.” Once I finished my rant, Galadriel called for a thirty minute break, and we would gather after and continue to diplomatically discuss the matter. Haldir was one of the first ones out, I stood to try and catch up to him, when my father caught my arm.

“We need to talk.” He spoke quietly as the others filed out of the room. I gave him a look but waited so as not to spark his rage even more.

“What is it you needed?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“When you were speaking, you spoke of loved ones.” I nodded my head.

“I think we all have loved ones out there, specifically those that live here.”

“Yes, but there is no one that you love, that would be out on the front lines. Unless it is this mystery ellon who you’ve been seeing.” I looked away from him when he said that. “Well who is it?” I wrapped my arms around myself and walked up to the window.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. When I saw him yesterday he asked me to tell you. I didn’t want to.” I threw my hands up and turned towards him, “I was scared. Scared of what you would say, how you would react.” I stood in front of him now, “He broke it off with me. He didn’t want to waste his time with someone who wouldn’t let their relationship be public. So at this point it doesn’t matter.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-” I waved my hand in the air.

“It’s fine. I’m going to go now.” I walked out of the room, trying to find him. I stood on the walkway trying to see if I could find him. I saw him below talking to a group of elves. I walked down the winding stairs, and pushed through the other elves just milling about. I stood behind the group that he was speaking with and cleared my throat. The others turned and bowed when they saw me. “I’m sorry for the interruption, but I need to speak with the march-warden for a moment.”

“Of course my lady.” They responded as they stepped to the side. “Would you care to go for a walk march-warden?” I asked, he gave me a look but held his arm out to escort me. “Thank you.” We walked for a bit, and once we were away from prying eyes, stopped.

“What did you need to talk about?”

“About us. I know that we ended on difficult terms. I’m sorry though that is my fault. I wanted to talk to you about us ending things.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m unclear as to what you are talking about.”

“You ended things because I wouldn’t tell my father.” He nodded, “Now I am not asking for you to take me back, but I thought you should know that I told him.” He grabbed my arms and stepped closer.

“You told him? And?”

“He is not pleased. He told me that he would not allow it and I needed to end it immediately.” I looked down playing with the sleeves on my dress. “I informed him that it wasn’t an issue. That it had already ended, thanks to how he would react.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, I just thought that you should know that I still love you. I’m not asking for you back, but I thought you should know that I told him.” He just stood there looking at me, not saying anything. “We should probably get back.” I whispered turning around, and walking away. I could see the others returning to the meeting room. I slowly made my way up the stairs, wishing that things could have gone differently. I was standing in the doorway of the room, when I heard my name being called.

“Y/N! Y/N!” I turned to see Haldir running up the stairs and across the walkway towards me.

“Haldir, what are you-” I was cut off as he pulled me into him and delivered a rather heated kiss. I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

“MARCH-WARDEN, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!” My father bellowed causing us to break apart.

“Father-” He held his hand up.

“I asked the march-warden, did I not?” Haldir placed his hand on my arm and stepped forward.

“My king, I have been seeing your daughter for 20 years. I love her, and would do nothing to harm her. Nor am I after her status, I truly love her for her.” At this point Galadriel had gathered everyone and moved them out of the room, to give us some privacy.

“How do I know that your intentions are pure? You did not come to me to ask to court her, and yet expect me to be okay with this?”

“Yes, because I am okay with this and I love him. I do not ask you to understand, but I ask you to be okay with it.”

“I’m not sure that I can do that.” my father responded.

“Please just try to get to know him, for me.” I pleaded. He gave me a look and finally opened his mouth to speak.

“Okay, but I expect you to follow the rules of courting.” I smiled, gave him a hug and thanked him profusely.

#haldir x reader #haldir imagine #haldir #lotr #lotr imagine

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southwalessubculture · 4 years ago

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Physical Affection with - Jungle Boy

added author’s note, pre-posting: fuckin’ love how the queue doesn’t apparently work...anyways, i thought it was gonna be up a few days ago, so sorry and also fuck off, tumblr.

I really enjoyed the last one (and also @sansammy requested it), so here’s physical affection HCs with Jungle Boy!

He’s gonna be hesitant about PDA (something I mentioned in my friends-to-lovers with JB, which you can find here)

He’s young and a little shy; he doesn’t really understand where the line between cute and cringey falls for those around you, so he errs on the side of caution

He’ll definitely be more open in front of close friends that he knows won’t mind (think among the lines of Stella, Marko and Luchasaurus, etc.), although he’ll still be kind of reserved

When you’re alone, though?

He’s all in on the physical affection train

Holding Hands

By and far, his favorite thing to do

It’s small, casual, and something that he can easily take comfort in

He loves to hold your hand when he’s nervous, especially in public; it’s something that isn’t too attention-grabbing, but it’s still personal

Before his matches, he’ll sit you on one of the equipment cases and stand in front of you, holding both your hands in his as you hype him up

If you wear rings or bracelets, he’s gonna fidget with them during those moments as a way of bringing himself back to you

When you go to the ring with him, he’ll reach down and squeeze your hand from on top of Luchasaurus’s shoulders (although he probably won’t hold your hand for more than a few seconds on camera)

If he needs your attention, then he’ll walk past you and give your hand a quick squeeze; it’s easier than texting and he knows you won’t miss it

He also holds your hand when you’re nervous!

He works with a lot of Loud and Intimidating people, so he understands that it’s easy for you to get overwhelmed by all the noise, large bodies, and even just the general backstage rush

If he sees you struggling to keep up with a situation, he’ll take your hand and squeeze it to check on you

If you squeeze back, he’ll take you out of the area with some sort of “Marko got stuck on top of a locker” type of excuse that makes no sense, but he’s trying so hard for you

Totally the type to whisper in your ear about well your hand fits into his (yes, he knows it cheesy. he doesn’t care.)

Bonus: He jokingly kisses your hand when you’re alone, especially if you’re about to go on a date or something. He’ll also call you his princess when he does.

Hugging

He loves to hold you while you work

He hugs you from behind, watching how you do even the most simple things like washing produce or typing a paper as if it’s the most enamoring thing in the world to him

If he sees that someone’s making you uncomfortable, he’s absolutely going to insert himself into the situation

And he’ll absolutely do that by putting his arms around your waist and setting his head on your shoulder, glaring at the person until they get the hint and leave

It’s the most publically forward he’ll be about dating you, and he’ll only do it if he knows that you’re uncomfortable

He knows the difference between you having fun with a friend and someone hitting on you, but even if he gets a little jealous, he won’t intervene unless he sees that you can’t get them to buzz off by yourself

(what i’m saying is that he trusts you, but he’s still aware that people might not listen to you unless he gets involved on your behalf)

(and this got very off topic)

If you’re hanging out with close friends, yours or his, he’ll sit next to you and throw an arm over your shoulder

If someone calls him out on it, then he’ll do the same thing to the person on his other side and ask if it’s a problem now (although he’ll hold you a little tighter as he does)

He’s a cheeky little shit and he will tickle you when he hugs you

Especially if you’re alone

Bonus: He loves when you hug his teammates! They’re a very affectionate trio in that sense, so he’s definitely going to think it’s cute to see how comfortable you are with them.

Kissing

He loves to kiss you

He’ll look for excuses to kiss you

Win a big match? He’ll kiss you

Did you do something super cool? He’ll kiss you

MJF got his ass beat? He’ll kiss you (he doesn’t like MJF, okay?)

I lowkey see him a fan of neck kisses, especially when he’s watching you do something

He’ll bury his face in the crook of your neck, peppering your skin with little kisses and telling you how pretty you are

He’ll kiss your nose when he thinks you’re acting cute; if you’re acting grumpy after he wins in a video game, getting excited over a new dessert you want to try, or even when you’ve just woken up and given him a giant smile, he’ll peck the tip of your nose and smile at you

Alternatively, if you’re in public and you do something cute, he might pull your hand up and kiss your knuckles since it’s not as apparent

Except for that, he will very, very rarely kiss you in front of other people; mainly if you’re going to be apart for a little while or you’re seeing each other for the first time in a few days or longer

And maybe when something Very Big happens and he can’t stop himself

Bonus: He once kissed your cheek after winning a tag team contendership match while Stella was recording for her Instagram story, and nobody noticed until the internet lost their shit about it.

He got super embarrassed about it, but he also secretly asked her to send the video since he thought it was so cute to see how you smiled and covered your face, mildly in shock from his unusual behavior.

Cuddling

He’s always gonna want to be cuddling you when you’re alone

He loves playing video games with you, laying down on the couch and holding his controller in front of you

He’ll hold you, chest-to-chest, and rub circles with his fingers on your body when he’s a little stressed

Speaking of stress, he could listen to you vent forever

He’ll let you sit in his lap and play with his hair, his fingertips drawing circles on your leg or stomach as you tell him about what’s bothering you

He’ll try his best to give advice (he’ll often end up recommending that you ask Luchasaurus or one of the older members of the roster if he can’t help you, although he tries not to unless necessary)

If you get self-conscious, then he’s gonna literally kiss every inch of your body as he tells you everything that he loves about you

He has absolutely done this while drunk (regardless of whether or not you needed to hear it in that moment, per se) and he ended up crying in your arms while telling you about how much he loved you

He loves waking up next to you, almost more than falling asleep with you

He adores how you curl up against him when you fall asleep, the way that you nuzzle into his chest

Absolutely lost his shit the first time you woke up next to him, giving him a quiet “good morning” in your sleepy voice

Bonus: The first time that you stayed with him, he had to wake you up from a nightmare. He was so scared, although he didn’t want you to see that; he pulled up a movie on his laptop and held you until you fell back asleep, and then nearly stayed up until dawn in case you needed him again.

Miscellaneous Things

Totally wants to do that cliché thing where you sit in his lap and he puts his hands over yours on a keyboard or controller, teaching you to play a video game he likes

He likes to go on swimming or on hikes with you, if you’re into that kind of thing; he sees it as a great way to show you some of his favorite places and also get a bit of alone time with you

He will carry you through the woods on his shoulders if you let him and that is not a question

Also, loves carrying you! He doesn’t like the idea of you getting tired, so he’ll just pack you up on his back and carry you around (especially if you’ve been standing for a long time and he’s worried about it)

I feel like he’d also lowkey fall in love with you all over again if you fell asleep against his shoulder while you’re hanging out

He’s always a little worried about you, and he’s very attentive to what you need, so expect to find random snacks, water bottles, or phone chargers lying about exactly when you need them

I feel like he’d probably start keeping a first-aid kit with different over-the-counter medicines in his car or bag in case you get hurt or sick when you’re with him

If you use feminine care items, he always keeps some on him in case of emergencies (and he’ll defend it to the death if someone tries to make fun of him for doing it)

He’ll also absolutely memorize any allergies you have and he’ll be super vigilant about that shit (like, to the point where he’ll text you about dust/pollen for the day if it’s going to be particularly bad)

Basically, he’s not going to be super publically affectionate, but he loves that shit in private

He will, however, show his affection much more in terms of caring for you and making sure you have everything you need; he’s such a sweet and thoughtful person, and he doesn’t want you to ever worry about anything when you’re with him

#jungle boy headcanon #jungle boy hcs #jack perry headcanon #jack perry hcs #think i'm gonna stop putting things in the main tags unless it's my first time writing for them #constantly seeing my own shit in tags i follow is a bit awkward tbh

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hitokayachichi · 4 years ago

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⛧ you get me closer to god; a tendou satori fic ⛧

⛧ ... school stress makes you do crazy things!! ...like try to summon your guardian angel and summon a demon instead ⛧

⛧ ... first part of my sadist!tendou series hehe

⛧ ... ahh a little bit is inspired by seita, both for the idea of sadist!tendou, but her blog is rly supportive and welcoming has also given me the confidence to write lewds, and I really appreciate that :>

wc: 6.5k

cw: demon!Tendou, smut, degredation, praise, corruption kink, sadist!tendou, bdsm elements, pet names :>, spit kink, dumbification kind of, there might be something else i cant remember hhfkdjfs

Staring at your open notebook, you rub your eyes tiredly. It’s only one in the afternoon, but your Precalculus class has drained all of your energy. Your professor was absolutely insane, assigning so much homework. Doesn’t he know that college students take more than one class per semester? In your head, you’re already planning out the order in which you’re going to have to do your assignments and when. How late you’re going to have to stay up. All you want to do is take a nap after your last class, but will you even have time for that?

Class is over now, so you pack up your things and leave. At least your next class is much easier. Your Creative Writing professor is super sweet and you’d take a bullet for her, probably. Besides, your friend, Mayu, will be there, too. She always makes you feel better. Mayu has a sweet, but a little chaotic personality that usually rejuvenates you on bad days.

And there she is, waiting at one of the seats in the hallway. Once she sees you, she waves you over to the table excitedly. Her laptop and notebooks are out because she had a half-hour break between classes, and you gently push the notebooks aside to sit next to her.

“Hey, (y/n) guess what! I finally figured out your issue for Precal!” Normally Mayu is on some kind of bullshit, but since you were texting her during class earlier, it piqued your interest.

“Hmm?”

“Look!” Mayu exclaims, pointing at her computer screen. You lean over and it looks like she’s on some sort of forum webpage? It doesn’t look like any popular one that you’ve seen before, but you squint, trying to read.

... angel summoning?

“Mayu, what the hell?” As you read the forum page, you become more and more confused. The users spoke about chalk circles and meditation and wine and bread to summon your ancestral guardians, or something like that. It’s a little too much, right now. Your brain is still spinning from class.

Mayu is into some pretty unconventional things, so you aren’t exactly surprised, but each and every time she suggests some odd thing, you’re still a little... impressed with what she finds. “Okay, listen!” You look at her, and she just smiles at the way you’re telling her to shut up with your eyes. It’s never worked on her.

“Hear me out, (y/n). This is something I’ve actually done before, so I can one hundred thousand per cent guarantee that it works, I promise you.” A huge part of you wants to roll your eyes at her, but once again, you aren’t exactly surprised that she would have attempted something like this. “I met my guardian angel and she’s the one that helped me get accepted here! She guided me during my application and here I am!”

You just stare at her. “Right...”

“I swear on my life!” She begins to pack up her things, now that class is soon to start, and you shake your head at her. But by now she was finished with the conversation and is prattling about some girl she met in one of her other classes.

It’s so stupid, but the whole class, your mind keep tabs on that forum, just at the edge of consciousness.

⛧ …

It’s 2:13 am and you very much hate your life. You’re exhausted and stressed. It’s way past your normal bedtime but you just have so much Precal homework to do. You feel like you’re drowning. Maybe it’s just because it’s late and you’re tired, but you can’t seem to stop thinking about what Mayu suggested. Mayu might be into some pretty odd things, but she most definitely isn’t dumb. If she’s said she’s done it before... maybe summoning an angel really does work?

You shake your head. That’s stupid. Rubbing your eyes, you get back to your homework. You have thirteen more questions left on this assignment, and then another fifteen question one. There’s no time to mess around.

So why can’t you get it out of your head?

You last six minutes before texting Mayu.

She tells you to make a sugar circle in your room, with bread and wine in the middle. It’s just you in your tiny studio apartment, and you’re a little too busy to really bake anything that needs sugar, so all you have is a tiny little thing that you use for your coffee. It’s not nearly enough to make a circle with. You use salt instead. Wine isn’t a drink that you typically have on hand either, but you have some leftover vodka that someone had left from a rare party that you had hosted like a year ago. It’s alcohol, so you figure it’ll work. The only thing that you actually had from what Mayu texted was bread, but you have a disappointing feeling that sliced bread from the grocery store isn’t quite what she meant either.

But you’re summoning an angel, after all. None of this is really as it seems.

There is a chant that Mayu sent you in what she says is Hebrew. That.. isn’t a language that you speak, so you know for a fact you aren’t going to say it right. You don’t know if it even truly is Hebrew. But once you draw the circle, light the red candle (Mayu said a white candle, but you only had red, so), and set up the alcohol and bread, you begin chanting.

Mayu had told you to go through the chant only once. But, doing so once, nothing happened. Twice, nothing happened. Thrice, with the same result. There was no smoke, no poof of magic, and most importantly, no guardian angel. Nothing.

You sigh, disappointed with yourself. The one time you trust Mayu’s ridiculousness, and it ends up like this. How could you be so dumb? Of course, no guardian angel is going to save you from math homework. If they even exist at all, they definitely have much more important things to do than a college student’s work. Sitting back down at your desk, you shoot a quick text to Mayu that it didn’t work.

She says to be patient, that it might come at one of the angel numbers. You don’t know what that is, but you’re tired. At this point, you just want to finish a couple more questions, then head to bed. The rest will be an issue for the future (y/n) to deal with.

But, as much as you wish to sleep, something keeps you up. You retired to your bed half an hour ago, at three. Most of your homework is completed, except for maybe a few questions. That’s something you can do before class, though. If you manage to fall asleep, that is.

There’s this itch underneath your skin, tingles with every move you make. It’s been like this for a while. you think. Maybe you’re getting sick. It’s hot, but you don’t feel like you have a fever. No, this is something different. The heat isn’t focused in your head, and you aren’t sweaty. Subconsciously, your thighs are clamped shut, hips softly moving. It feels good. You feel a little high.

The red light of your alarm clock illuminates your face as you stare at the time.

3:33 AM

Oh.

A little bit of you understands, but your mind has become a little hazy, a little foggy like cold November mornings. From the horror movies you’ve watched, seeing this specific time blinking red is unsettling.

Almost as if on queue, the floorboards creak in the hallway. Your cunt clenches, and you can’t help it. There are goosebumps on your arms, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand straight. Slowly, you sit up. You normally leave a nightlight plugged into the socket across from your door in the hallway so that you don’t have to turn on a blinding light when you need to use the restroom at night. You can see it through the gap under your door, unless something is blocking it.

You watch the shine of the light disappear.

There’s someone in front of your door.

Curling your toes, you hold your breath, waiting. At this point, you think, there’s nothing you can do.

Slowly, steadily, you hear the lock on your door click, and watch as the door slowly opens.

Clearly, the summoning had worked.

But this is no angel.

Mottled black and purple horns protrude from the figure’s head, just barely illuminated by the dull lamp at your bedside table. His hair is red, and stands up. There’s a predatory smirk on his face, and your body heats. He’s wearing black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, and the skin on his knees look normal, but his hands are shaded a gradient of black and purple.

This, no questions asked, is a demon.

You frown, corners of your mouth wobbling. Surely, you are going to die, but you can’t help but feel something else. The way the demon looks at you is hungry, and it should not be so arousing. Perhaps he is going to eat your soul. But you think the fear does something for you too.

“Ah,” the demon says, smiling with sharp teeth. “How cute,” All you can do is stare at him. “How lucky am I to have someone as innocent as you,” the demon purrs and steps closer to your bed. “Look at the way you’re trembling, darling,” he reaches a finger out, and his nails are black and clawed. You can feel the tip of it on your chin, poking at you, and you lift your head with the movement of his finger to look him right in the eyes. You didn’t realize that you were shaking, but you stop now, paralyzed as you look into his eyes. They’re ravenous, and dark. No pupils, just blackness, but it’s piercing. There’s no way to really tell where he is looking, but you know that he’s staring straight through you.

The demon leans down to get level with you, where you sit up in bed. He grins, and his teeth are so sharp.

He’s going to tear you apart.

“Darling,” he murmurs, and his forked tongue darts out to lick at a tear you didn’t feel slide down your cheek. “I’m going to have so much fun with you,”

Once again, you tremble at his words. You have no idea what that means, but you’re certain these are your last moments. Taking a deep breath, you speak. “Are you going to eat me?” You mumble, quietly. The demon laughs loudly at you.

“Oh, sweetheart, cute. Of course, I’m going to eat you right up, how could I not?” He leans down further to lap at your neck, and your thighs clench together. Something about the sensation of his tongue and his proximity to you is so.. intoxicating, yet terrifying at the same time. You don’t know what to feel. Maybe you do want him to eat you.

“Am I going to die?” He lays you down, amused at your questions. You go pliantly, his tongue leaving you boneless. “No, not if you’re a good girl. Not if you don’t want to die. Do you want to die? Or do you want to be a good girl?” You are quiet for a moment, as you decide. A part of you wouldn't mind if you were eaten by him. His presence leaves your head foggy, almost as if you were tipsy on sweet wine. Perhaps you were just tipsy on his scent. He smells like earth and smoke and sulfur, something that makes your nose itch and your head hurt but leaves your thighs clenched together in the same breath.

"No... I suppose I don't want to die," you whisper, as if speaking any louder will whisk him away.

"So you're going to be my good girl, darling?" His right-hand slides over your chest and ghosts over your throat, his feeling of his fingertips lingering. He cups your jaw, thumb pulling at the corner of your mouth, and you only gaze at him, mesmerized. "Well, pretty? Good girls answer when asked a question." You nod, squeezing your eyes shut just for a moment.

"I-" you stutter when his left-hand slips under your sleep shirt, caressing the expanse of your stomach. "I'll be your good girl, um. Demon, sir." The demon laughs genuinely at that, leaning down to pull you in a short yet sultry kiss. He tastes like sweet nectarines, saccharine and syrupy, and you want to taste more.

"You can call me Satori, sweetheart." Satori hums, kissing you once again. as if he knows how much you loved how he tasted. "Do you know what I'm here for? You called me here, after all." You shake your head, bashful that you had botched your summoning so awfully.

"... no, Satori, sir. I had, um, I had meant to summon an angel to help me with my math homework." Satori grins, forked tongue poking out between his teeth. With every word you speak, he looks more and more amused.

"And you got me instead, how ironic. You, my love, have summoned a demon." Of course, you had assumed that, it's quite obvious that Satori is nothing close to an angel. Yet, hearing the words, the confirmation, slithering off of his tongue leaves goosebumps. "I'll give you your deepest and darkest desires, darling," Satori drawls, his hand cold over your rib cage. When you shiver, you aren't sure if it's from the temperature or the touch itself. But you want it. The air around you is heavy with want, dark and leaden, weighing on you.

"Okay," you whisper, because you don't really know what else to say. What else can you say? There is a demon in front of you, on top of you, touching you, kissing you, and he's going to ruin you. There is nothing that you can say. Your body speaks for you, with the way that you tremble beneath Satori, dripping with arousal.

"I know that you want it, pretty. I can smell it on you." Satori leans down, licking a stripe up the side of your neck, inhaling when he gets to the juncture between your jaw and your ear. "I can taste it." He bites at your earlobe, and it provokes a soft moan from you. "I'll eat you up, sweetheart." He sits up a little, just enough to pull you into a kiss, and this, this one is so... heady. Satori tastes so delicious, you just want to drink him up, and kissing him makes your head so cloudy in the best way you've ever felt. No drug could ever make you feel like this. When he pulls away, Satori leaves one hand on your jaw, and the other on your stomach slides up to cup your breast, squeezing firmly, but gently, and heat pools at your stomach. When you gasp, Satori hooks his thumb into your mouth so you can't close it all the way. Drool spills out of the corner.

"Oh, darling, look at you. So gorgeous, already drooling for me. Do you like how I taste, pretty?" You nod, tears pricking at your eyes, his words so sickly sweet, condescending in the most addicting way possible. "Of course you do. My spit is an aphrodisiac. Don't you feel it, sweetheart? Feel yourself go dumb with every taste?" A strangled sound leaves your throat, so desperate already. Satori laughs, so amused by your pathetic tears. You watch as he gathers spit on his forked tongue, watch as he leans over you and lets the spit from his tongue drip into your mouth. Immediately, the fruity taste explodes across your tongue and you whine at him, thighs clenching together. Your skin feels so hot, feverish and sweaty and you haven't really even done anything yet.

"Look at you," Satori drawls as you moan at his touch. He caresses your cheek so gently compared to his words. "So pathetic, just lying here, letting me touch you. Looking so innocent but you're a little whore, aren't you? You even let me spit in your mouth, how disgusting!" The smooth pads of his fingers leave your cheek, only to connect harshly once again with a loud smack. The moan you let out is desperate, and sounds foreign even to your own ears.

He had slapped you, and you liked it.

Satori stands and roughly drags you to the edge of the bed, and you squeal in surprise. It's a little frightening, how his demeanour has hardened, but you're still wet and throbbing, and heat still flows through your body. You find that you enjoy being manhandled like this. It makes you feel like prey, and perhaps you are.

Gripping your waist, Satori fingers the edges of your pyjama shorts, grinning when you look up at him with teary eyes. The bulge in his pants is huge, and your cunt squeezes with the thought of something so big inside of you. He takes the waistband of your shorts and pulls, not hard enough to rip them, but it hurts a little when he yanks them off, and a part of you hopes that he handles you roughly enough tonight to leave bruises. With this, you feel surprised. You've never really had thoughts like this before.

You feel corrupted.

Once your shorts are off, Satori sighs, one hand splayed over your hipbone and the other softly running up the wet patches on your underwear. "Have you ever been touched here before, darling?"

You squirm in his hold, cunt sensitive already. "Um," you stutter, toes curling when he presses just the tiniest bit harder at your clit. "Kind of, I guess," While you weren't a virgin, you most definitely haven't felt anything like this before. Satori only smiles.

"I don't know about that," he says, moving your panties to the side. He settles lower onto the bed, closer to your abdomen, and kisses lightly at your stomach. "I don't think you've ever been touched like this before, not with the way that you're so responsive. Satori kisses at your hipbone, licks at the crease between your thigh and your cunt. You gasp when he blows cool air over your pussy. "You smell too pure. Sweet. Like cherries." And he inhales, just slightly, but you can hear it and your hole clenches around nothing, heat swelling in your stomach. You don't think you've ever been so wet before.

"I think I want to ruin you,"

Satori's nails are sharp against the flesh of your thighs, and a part of you wants him to make you bleed. Slowly, you can feel the darkness swirl through the haze of your mind, and you find yourself desiring things that you've never thought of before. When Satori uses his nail to poke sharply at the sensitive skin of your clit, you jerk, and it hurts, but it's good. You don't know what has gotten into you.

"God," you sigh, when he licks up your slit, but Satori shudders at that, a guttural growl leaving his throat. His teeth snap, and he looks up at you with dark eyes. The grip on your thigh has gotten tighter, almost breaking the skin, and your chest is full with arousal.

"Darling," Satori speaks coldly, and you know that you are in trouble. "Do you think it was smart to say such a word around me? Did you forget what I am?" He rises, his fingers still digging into your thigh while the other wraps tightly around your throat. You can still breathe, but it's difficult and there's pressure against your skull. It makes you a little light-headed, and your heart jumps in a pleasurable sort of fear.

"No, Satori, sir, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." you struggle to get out, but you do and he smiles, kissing hungrily at the corners of your mouth and your jawline.

"What a good girl you are, sweetheart. Of course, you weren't thinking, how could I forget how dumb I've made you for me? Just drooling and crying because you're so wet. Pathetic." You whimper at his words, diamond tears in your eyes, because he's right. There are no thoughts in your brain besides arousal and want, the desire for Satori to touch and corrupt you. Satori squeezes at your throat, just a little, but enough for your cunt to clench desperately. He leaves you with a light smack to your cheek, settling down between your legs once again. Instead of pushing them to the side, Satori takes your panties off this time, tugging them off roughly. His hands travel up your thighs, fingers digging so deliciously into your soft flesh. You look down only to see Satori looking at you like he wants to devour you.

And maybe you want him to.

"Fuck," he curses, eyes trained hungrily on your glistening cunt. "You look so appetizing, sweetheart. Gonna eat you right up," And Satori licks at your pussy like he's paid to do it, like he's born for it, and nobody's ever eaten you out before, but Satori quickly has you seeing stars with the way he puts pressure on your clit with his tongue. You sob in his hold, thighs quivering with the way that he eats you out. Soon, he takes a hand off of your thigh to slide a finger between your folds, using your wetness to slick it up enough to slide sweetly into your cunt, and it's only one finger but it presses against your walls and you wail beneath him. You've only ever been fingered once, and it wasn't that good, even with two fingers. Yet, even with just one, you're feeling ten times more pleasure than you ever had before, even by yourself. You squeeze around him as he still sucks on your clit, working a second finger inside of you. Even with his mouth busy, you can feel Satori grin against your cunt, so amused and satisfied with your reactions. When he presses his fingers against your sweet spot, you cry out, hands flying down to grip at his hair. Satori groans, and it's so deep and terrifying, but your toes curl and you feel so so close.

"Satori," you gasp, tears trailing down your cheeks. "Satori, please, wanna feel good, 'm close Satori," and he doesn't respond, can't really with his face buried in your cunt, but suddenly, he works a third finger in and you can't hold it anymore, and you gush around his fingers. He laps it right up, moaning into your pussy, and oh, you must taste good, then, if he's cleaning you up so eagerly. When he licks at your bud again, you jerk, still sensitive, crying out sweetly. It hurts, so you push at his head, but he insists on staying right where he is, with you trembling under him. He keeps the pads of his fingers pressed snugly against your sensitive walls while he continues to suck at your clit, and it's so so much, has you shaking and squirming to get away, but Satori lays his arm over your hips to hold you down. You can feel another orgasm building, and its much too soon. You sniffle beneath him, in tears with overstimulation, but there's amusement in his eyes when he looks up at your ruined face and you know he isn't going to stop until you come again.

"Can't, Satori, no more," you beg, hands pulling at his hair. He only grins into your cunt, fingers working you harder. "Please, no, I can't, not again!" You're sobbing and shaking but his fingers keep moving faster and harder, and when he pulls away from your clit to change his angle, you can feel it even more. "Oh, Satori, it's too much!" But he's smiling hungrily, teeth sharp and terrifying.

"But you love it, darling. Love being ruined, don't you? Wouldn't be so wet if you didn't." His fingers press in all the right places, and suddenly you can feel yourself rolling over the edge once more, and you can't hold it in. You squeal as you squirt all over yourself and his arm, trembling with overstimulation, and you can hardly breathe with the impact of your orgasm. Satori really loves it though, and it seems like with each orgasm that he brought you, his eyes got brighter, like he was feeding off of your pleasure, and maybe he was. He's a demon, after all.

"Fuck," you curse, and your legs twitch with every after-wave of arousal, cunt throbbing with the force of your orgasm. Slowly, Satori slides his fingers out of your sopping cunt, and his arm is dripping, something that you never would have thought you would see, and you clench when he looks you in the eyes and licks at the slick trailing down his forearm. You whimper, head falling back, where you're propped up on your elbows, and your inner thighs burn where Satori has forced them open.

"So good for me, princess," Satori says coyly, as he continues to lick up your slick. "Taste so delicious, I really want to eat you up, now. Nobody's ever made you do that before, huh? Made your little cunny squirt?" You whimper and shake your head, hands curled up towards your chest, breathless. "Cute," he comments, and he pets himself over his black jeans. He had never alluded to his own pleasure this entire time, that you almost forgot what tends to happen next, and suddenly you get shy, and a little scared.

"Darling," Satori coos when he notices your change in demeanour. "There's no point in being afraid," he laughs, staring straight into your eyes. "I've already ruined you anyways, might as well just take this." You frown, but he's right. He's already made you come twice, and you still feel hot, your cunt is still throbbing and begging to be filled. There is nothing more that you can do but take Satori's cock.

He's knelt over you, thighs straddling your ribs when he takes his cock out. It's so close to your face, and you go cross-eyed staring at it. Satori is big and thick, and you don't know how he's going to fit anywhere. You've never done more than a handjob before, much less given a blowjob or taken cock in your pussy before. You gaze up at him, worried, but that only serves to make it better for him, you can see the way his eyes get a little more lidded when he looks at you. "Satori, sir," you murmur.

"Yes, sweetheart?" But he already knows what you're going to say. He strokes himself above you, and his precum drips onto your chest, just barely missing where your sleep shirt is scrunched up under your underarms. You whimper, just a quiet little noise, but of course, Satori hears you. He smiles deviously, and takes his cock and rubs it on your breasts, making a mess of you with his precum. "Darling," Satori groans, oh so condescending. "Looks like you've got a little something on you, what a messy girl. Pathetic." You moan at his words, humiliated, but it feels good. With your panties off and your shirt rucked up, you feel so exposed, and you find that you love this feeling of helplessness. Satori strokes his cock again and scoots up your chest just enough so that the tip of his cock rests just at your lips. "Since you're so disgusting, I think you should clean me up. You've made this mess, after all. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. It's only fair."

Your lips wobble preciously, on the verge of tears as you gaze up at Satori with glistening eyes. "But," you whisper, a gentle frown on your face. "I don't know how to do that, Satori, sir. I've never... never done that before." And Satori, he smiles wider at you, and you can see the way that glee swells within his eyes, and oh, you realise, cunt throbbing, oh. He gets off on this. Satori gets off on the idea that you're innocent. That you're a virgin. He wants to destroy you, corrupt you, ruin you for anyone else. He wants to take something away from you that nobody else can get after. It's his. He, Satori, is the one who ruined you. Somebody else can fuck your tight cunt, can taste you, can feel your lips on them, but he had it first.

But its okay, you think, because you want Satori to ruin you, too.

"Good," he whispers, before his cock is pressing more insistently against your lips. Reluctantly, you open your mouth, and you're a little worried, you don't know how to cover your teeth or take him in or anything, but you know that it'll be okay in the end. Satori will teach you. "Good," he repeats, headier, as he slides just the very tip between your lips, and while maybe you are a little inexperienced, you aren't innocent either, and you know what feels good, so you swirl your tongue tentatively around the head, tongue dipping precariously into the slit. Satori groans above you, and you can feel the muscles on his thighs tense under your palms as he resists the urge to completely sheath himself down your throat. "Fuck," Satori curses, and suddenly, his hands are in your hair, gripping hard, and his eyes are glowing. You cry out in a surprised moan, the hold on your hair bringing diamond tears back to the corners of your eyes. "So fucking good, darling, what a good whore for me," he says, and in the same breath, he's shoving his cock a little bit further into your mouth. You choke, just slightly, but recover quickly, and you try your hardest to focus on keeping your teeth covered and making him feel good, eyes squeezed shut. Just slightly, you press your tongue right under the head, and his cock jerks in your mouth, and god, you think you can feel your pussy leaking.

Your body is warm and tingling, even as you choke so gorgeously on Satori's cock. He's not even in all the way, and you're already gagging, your throat just not used to taking something so big inside. Now, he's just let go, pays no mind to your breath or your jaw, lost in the pleasure of the wet heat of your mouth. Even though it's difficult, you try to work your tongue as he fucks your throat, and you can't really swirl it, at least not now with such a low skill level, but you manage to press it against the underside of his cock, the pressure catching just under the head of his cock every time he pulls out, and he groans, grip on your hair tightening. You feel so used and normally you would be disgusted by this, but all you can really think about is how you want this always, how you want to be Satori's, his sweet puppy knelt at his side where you belong and, and you have no idea where this is coming from. It feels like you're intoxicated, the only things that run through your head is the way that Satori's cock smells, his touch, how you want him to split you open forever and ever.

"Oh," Satori groans, and suddenly you're brought back to the real world. You had floated away at some point, you aren't quite sure when, but you're finally aware of your surroundings again. "Poor baby, got fucked so dumb she forgot what she was doing, sweet thing." It's now that you realise that your jaw had gone completely slack, lips no longer wrapped tightly around his cock. Your tongue just rests dead in your mouth, and you really had just checked out, thinking about how much you wanted Satori. Let him fuck your sloppy mouth, too dumb to even do anything.

"'M sorry," you gasp when he pulls out. You feel a little bad, but it seems like he liked it. Liked that you couldn't even think and just let him do whatever he wanted. But you don't mind. Satori can do whatever he wants to you whenever he wants. Your saliva drips from his cock onto you breasts, and Satori looks feral on top of you.

"Its okay, darling," Satori coos, taking your breasts in his hands and squeezing, sucking in a breath at the way they glisten with all the spit and precum smeared on your skin. "I already know what you need. I can smell it on you. Your poor cunny is absolutely dripping for my cock, and I know that you want it too, don't you?" You cry out and nod, because you do. You need it so bad.

"Please," you whisper, and you sound so desperate and wrecked that you almost didn't recognise your own voice. "Satori, sir, please. Need it so bad, so bad." You start to cry, then, and your cunt is throbbing and you want to be filled so badly, all of these feelings are so overwhelming. Satori hushes you with his mouth, using his tongue to spread your lips apart. He pulls away and slides off of you to grip your thighs and press them as far as he can towards your chest.

"Okay, darling," Satori drawls, a feral grin showing off his sharp teeth. "Gonna ruin you real good," He moves forward, taking one hand off of your thigh to line himself up with you fluttering cunt. Your thighs shake in anticipation, you've never had anything like this inside of you before, and you're so scared but also incredibly excited. And you can feel it, too, when the head of Satori's cock presses against your hole. Your pussy throbs, and it's right there and you can feel it. So so close to having his cock inside of you, you squirm, moving your hips to try and work the head in some more, just a little bit, anything! Satori laughs at your efforts.

Satori coos at you. "That's cute, sweetheart, wanna be filled so badly? Take it then." He pushes himself all the way in.

You cry out, and it fucking burns, but his head hits just above your cervix so mind-numbingly that you don't even care, body seizing in an addictive mixture of pain and pleasure and you can hear yourself gasping, but you can't feel yourself breathe. Satori curses above you, leaning into his thrust to fill himself as deep inside you as possible. It's almost like you can feel him in your stomach, he's so big and pressing so deep, you feel much more full than any vibrator could ever grant you. It's so good, even more so when Satori pulls back out and slams himself inside once again, leaving you to cream delicately all over his cock.

"Fuck," Satori groans, his grip tightening on the flesh of your thighs as you flutter around him. You sob, reaching up to grab at him, needing something, anything to ground you. Taking your left hand in his, Satori presses your arm above your head, and even though your other hand is gripping hard on his shoulder, you feel so helpless. Your second orgasm did absolutely nothing to help with the heat in your stomach and with the way that Satori continues to fuck your tight heat has you bracing yourself for your next orgasm.

"Fuck, Darling," Satori curses again, pulling out to carelessly flip you over onto your stomach. One hand presses between your shoulder blades to keep your upper body flush with the mattress, and the other grabs your hips and settles you on your knees. A part of you must have forgotten what he is, and you were shocked with the way he just lifted you like you were nothing, but his roughness only led to arousal, and you sob as he pounds you into the mattress. "Cute, sweetheart," Satori coos, hand sliding from your back to grip your hair and pull. You moan loudly, and you've never felt a feeling of pain and pleasure like this before, and you think that it's something you may become addicted to. "Love being manhandled like this, huh? Who's gonna think you're innocent now, hmm? Such a dirty girl, now, getting off to being pushed around and bruised. Ruined for anybody else." Satori leans down, then, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. "This is all mine, isn't it, love?"

"Yeah," you respond, breathless with the way that Satori thrusts into you, "yes, Satori, sir. All yours," It's difficult to speak and your words stutter and slur, between the drool dripping down your chin and how Satori is fucking you mindless, but you hope it gets the point across. You don't know. You can't really think. Satori nips at your earlobe and growls into your ear.

"Good." And then he pulls your hair so hard you have to bring your back flush with his chest, and his other hand wraps deliciously around your throat as he holds you up against him. Before, you could never understand how anyone would like to be treated so roughly during sex, the thought of being choked was terrifying to you, but here you are now, eyes fluttering delicately as you can hardly breathe from the hand on your throat and Satori's hips. It feels so fucking good, and you don't think anyone else could ever make you feel this way. You feel drunk on Satori's existence, and your cunt squeezes so nicely around him at that.

"Please," you beg, just barely able to get your words out. That feeling is there again, and you know that you're close, but you want Satori to come first. "Please," you repeat, just as broken as before. You try to move your hips yourself, just a little, but Satori only laughs.

"Sweet thing, trying so hard, but you've been pounded too stupid for that, hmm darling? Can't even speak, poor girl." He speaks so highly, but you can tell that he's close too, with the way that his hips stutter, and he sounds a little breathless himself. You only squeeze harder around him, half on purpose and half because the way he speaks to you is so addicting. His groans are deep and they're getting a little feral, and it's so fucking hot, his nails dig into your skin and it hurts so good, his thrusts become so erratic and he's louder and growling and, and-

Warm liquid spurts into your cunt and his cock pulses inside of you and that, that, sends you over the edge, and you cream over his cock once again as he comes inside of you.

Satori lets go of you, gently placing you face down on the bed, and finally, you can breathe again. Your chest is heaving as you lie there, and when he slowly pulls out, you can feel his cum drip out of you. Whining, you squirm at the feeling, mind too hazy to do anything about it. "Sweetheart," Satori murmurs, running his fingers through your hair, shushing you. "I'll run a bath to clean you up. Feeling okay?" You only whine again, toes curling in embarrassment. That was so... you were so... dirty. But Satori only laughs softly at you, nothing close to the degrading laugh you heard earlier.

"No worries, darling, I'll take care of you."

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