#I shouldn’t be crying over this
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This just in on Teenagers Are Assholes…
#it’s fine it’s fine#I shouldn’t be crying over this#I saw this one coming#why the hell does it still hurt
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i’m already letting out tears
goodnight 🫶🏻
#i need to go to bed without thinking of him and mark and dylan in that photo#because or else i will not be ok which i am not#they are just regular young adults i don’t need to cry#maybe i’m just tired#i shouldn’t be crying over this#i’m just sensitive about everything#and how luke because really close to mark this year which is so cute so they have a trio#ok bye#kenz rants
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no but i feel like there was something so certain about the following scenes after soren told viren to take his heart for the spell that made my own heart drop. it was so well done that i literally paused and started sobbing bc i genuinely thought soren had sacrificed himself and how that would’ve been such a full circle moment since viren became what he became because he wanted to do anything to save soren (however dangerous, however vile) and if in the end he had had to sacrifice him it would’ve been so sick. i’m EXTREMELY glad it didn’t go that way.
#i spent 5 min crying over soren before i found out he was alive#this is why you shouldn’t pause moments like these lmao#tdp#the dragon prince#tdp s6 spoilers#tdp spoilers#the dragon prince season 6#soren#tdp soren#tdp viren
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Brb gotta just yell into the void
#GOD IM JUST#so both Q and I were under the impression we would be getting help fixing the place#almost a full week later#it’s basically just been me his elderly grandma and him when hes not working#which is very little time since he’s full time#I have been working on this place from basically sunrise to sunset#doing what I can to make it clean and repaint#but I can’t do most repairs#mainly what the bathroom needs#but today#ooooooo today#Q’s parents are getting on our nerves man#we’ve been trying to explain that the bathroom is not functional in it’s current state#and instead of Q’s father#the landlord of this place who decided keeping it while living two and a half hours away was a smart idea#helping to fix said bathroom#says he’d rather work on the living room floor which is the lowest priority#and when we expressed this to them#his mother goes#if you don’t like it you can go live somewhere else#EXCUSE ME#I have literally been spending all the time I can trying to fix up YOUR place for you two#to the point where I am now coming down with a cold and my lowing back is killing me#where Q is sacrificing every free moment he has trying to do what he can while working a full time job#and THIS is the thanks we get???????#what the hell#anyway they’re coming tomorrow but Q has work so I am going to cry#I am so exhausted and stressed if they pull some shit I might just do something I shouldn’t#I want this to be over#the second were able to afford a house we’re getting the hell out of here
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my most important final is tomorrow, getting on my hands and knees to beg for a good mark
#this final is worth 60% of my grade#which i SWEAR professors shouldn’t be allowed to do#but here i am#uni is not for the weak i think ice cried maybe 3 times#that’s a joke#anyways#I JUST CANT WAIT FOR IT TO BE OVER#LIKE IVE BEEN DREADING THIS FINAL FOR WEEKS#and i’m also on the verge of falling asleep like#MY EXAM IS ALSO AT 9AM CAN YOU HAVE MERCY#first year all my exams were at 6pm#and all my exams this year is at 9am#might cry don’t cry don’t cry might cry don’t cry
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Why are your nipples on the bottom of your tits 👀
because my tits hang low??? what the fuck kind of ask is this lmao??? i’m a natural 38i cup baby they aren’t gonna sit like they do in porn/hentai i’m sorry???
#my askz#i shouldn’t even bother answering this but like#i am so self conscious about my body and i come on here to boost my morale#please don’t make me feel bad about things i have no control over lmao#i WILL cry
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okay but what if the only reason rin and sae are (forced against their will) to be (somewhat) civil with each other in their adult years is because their gfs are ride or die besties that would rather leave their (petty) asses than compromise their friendship
#i’m genuinely losing my shit over this rn LMFAO LIKE. i know their character are more complex than that okay i know it hurts me let me cope#with the rin light novel snippets with self indulgent humor okay let me make myself giggle bc NAUR listen. THE POTENTIAL ZKSJBDBDJX#theyre like ‘baby pls u can have any other best friend in the world it shouldn’t be hard to find a new one right’ and ur on the floor#(i lied this is mostly rin PLLSSS he’s so dramatic i will die)#you threaten to break up with him like semi seriously to knock him off his bullshit and he shits his pants has nightmares about it for weeks#TRIES TO BREAK UP SAE AND UR BESTIE PPLLSSSS then he gets text from sae like ‘two can play that game’ i cant#theyre so down bad horrendously for you both it makes them ill they’ll endure your stupid double dates that threaten to end in violence#at any second sjshsndkd they totally shit talk each other once back home im crying okay ted talk over but yeah comedy GOLD#sae >:(#rin loml <3#—bllk.thoughts!#blue lock x reader#itoshi sae x reader#itoshi rin x reader
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always so funky to be reminded that your parents might love you but they don’t actually like you very much
#wasn’t i supposed to leave that feeling behind with puberty?#anyway mama decided i have no christmas wish#the sad little guy who can’t get nice things for themself also doesn’t get to ask for them now during the ‘ask for things’ time of the year#it’s not about christmas it’s not about material things it’s about looking me in the glassy eyes and asserting ‘you have no wish’#when wishing is all i ever do you just never create a space safe enough for me to voice them#blah#not st#i’m so so sorry that whining is all i ever do anymore and i shouldn’t be so sad about this over and over again#i’m just. so small. tiny. and insignificant. i might not have been there all day and 99% of the conversations would have happened the same#i wanna stop feeling this way but i think in order to stop feeling this way i need to stop wanting to be loved and seen and listened to#by my mom. and i don’t think it’s entirely human or possible to stop wanting that. so oh well#i don’t know if i give them reason to like me. maybe i don’t. this might all be on me actually.#if she knew i’m crying about this she’d roll her eyes and say ‘you know how i am. sorry you misunderstood me’#why do the blows keep coming? when’s it my turn to rest?
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uh oh gonna try to stop crying whoops
#char’s diary#it’s not even a valid thing#i have like legitimate issues#i shouldn’t be crying over being single#except it’s deeper than that isn’t it
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you’ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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see I am very disjointed from a lot of nine/ten fandom discourse because I genuinely believe that in a different world where space boy was not to be seen, had an older Rose gone to the hospital and bumped into a certain Doctor Jones by a vending machine or as she was taking Rose’s vitals, she would have instantly hit it off with Martha. and probably flirted with her a little on accident and then on purpose when Martha flirted back
#I can see Martha raising an eyebrow as she catches Rose (who definitely snuck out despite being on bedrest) by the vending machine#Rose probably snuck out of bed because the girl in the bed next to her was crying and she wanted to make her feel better#because she doesn’t really like hospitals either#and when she tells Martha this she’s surprised when the Doctor (who seems quite strong and a little serious) suddenly smiles#and shows her a trick to get extra sweets and chocolate out of the machine#and then tells her to hurry because the check-in sweep of Rose’s ward is about to begin#you just KNOW Rose would be Martha’s most combative patient but in all the best ways#always asking what that machine does. what that incomprehensible doctor scrawl means. if there’s something she can do to help other patients#and Martha loves it. loves how much Rose cares just like her. they gossip and they chat about their daily lives. they get closer#everytime Martha has to scold Rose for sneaking out of bed or doing something she shouldn’t#(even though she secretly adores it. she’s never really mad she just wants Rose to take care of herself as well as other people)#she sighs and says (in her most firm but still fond tone) ‘Miss Tyler-’#only to be struck in the heart again with a cheeky grin and a ‘yes Doctor Jones?’#and also Rose loves that Martha is a doctor. that Martha cares. that she works overtime. that almost all Martha’s patients love her#and the ones that don’t just aren’t kind people anyway. that Martha doesn’t condescend. that Martha cares and cares and cares#that Martha likes all the things about Rose that other people think make her difficult and trouble and too much#she likes the things that other people don’t like in Martha either. thinks she’s magic.#Rose Tyler is always going to love her Doctor. and Martha Jones will always love somebody who thinks everybody matters#I’m like. obsessed with them?? move OVER space boy (actually nine can get involved in this. lmao ten stay away)#they’d have been so cuteeeee#rtd failed to see the lesbionic possibility but I am no such coward. no fighting over boys here#martha jones#rose tyler#dw#doctor who
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WOW.
I am in a GOOD mood today
#I lied#I want to cry#curl up and die#:’)#yi ming#he Xuan#shi qingxuan#I probably shouldn’t add this tag but#beefleaf#voice over#hic hic sob#spoilers#black water arc#black water sinking ships
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one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t
#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap#bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU#lol idk why my head is so bad today#the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it#i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!!#but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do#oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse#sorry guys needed to rant#the inadequacy was strong today#something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like#i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me.#and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but#my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m#missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids#who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me#for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just—#sorry#that felt good actually#idk what came over me#imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags#sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh#okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is
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Anyways nothing in the show made me cry till seeing ekko and Mel sitting there alone and it doesn’t even have to do with powder and Jayce it’s the fact that they have to get up the next day its exhausting like there’s so much work to do.
#and sevika to a lesser extent#like it’s less sad for me bc she’s got a support group#like ig it’s bc this is moving up for her#she still has shit to get done but yknow#but for Mel and ekko#she’s gotta deal with being an actual ruler now these new abilities and what they mean#she might be glancing over her shoulder everyday bc what if there’s another black rose#and ekko#man he’s still gotta figure out his tree#and they still have to keep it pushing bc ok fuck playing into the council I hate that sorry#but there’s just so much fucking work to do after 10 minutes of relaxing#and it’s like#idk how to feel about arcane like idk#it feels the same a oitnb to me#commentary on no happy endings but it just so happens the main white characters got theirs#even that jinx lived theory grinds my gears bc it’s like#ofc mel and ekko got the short end of the stick. writing and fandom wise like always#and it’s like the show touches on certain things and can’t follow through bc nobody actually cares about black characters and their stories#but also if this is just expanding into wider lol lore it’s like#having the stories set up or finish in a#I don’t wanna say unsatisfactory but like in a way where it’s real#the ball keeps rolling#that’s cool#but it’s not even that it’s just. more care ig#yeah. I want more care for black characters#I wish whoever fought for cait and vi playing house or saw it as a deserved ending or whatever#someone who decided that mel shouldn’t have finished sitting there alone#that maybe ekko deserved to lay down and sleep even if he cried#like it doesn’t have to be a happy ending. if ekkos last scene was just him sobbing over what he lost it’d feel different#but it’s not in his nature to be that selfish. selfish enough to cry freely. free u my heart. 💔💔💔
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was watching someone’s let’s play of ninja gaiden black to gage whether or not it’s a game for me and… oh boy… they weren’t lying about it being the dark souls of its day…
#Obviously I think the more you learn about the game and play it more continuously you get#better at timing it and mastering when to attack during what openings#buts also man it looks like a HIGH stress game maybe I shouldn’t play it since I’m such a newbie…#gaidenposting#maybe I should just stick with no more heroes for now maybe#I know people will probably say go play bayonetta or devil may cry 5 but honestly I feel I’m too over exposed to these franchises#that i probably won’t get any actual enjoyment from them aside from gameplay#Maybe DmC: devil may cry I’m willing to give a shot since I actually see a frequent amount of copies floating around and seems to be#a cheap buy at local game stores
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if he wanted to he would
#read that line multiple times#i shouldn’t be getting worked up and crying over this#if he wants to then he would its simple#and i’m not gonna force things
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