#I should just permanently log off. Why don’t I

[aeolianblues]

The sexual tension between people that love to comment ‘well who is SHE, I’ve never heard of her so she must be RUBBISH’ and those who can’t stop commenting ‘GET HER OUT OF MY FACE! Will everyone STOP talking about her!! Talentless industry plant’. I hope they give each other STDs

[miserymet]

Bit hesitant about posting this because it’s really old, but I feel it’s worth the minor embarrassment to:

1. Have actually writing on my blog because yes I do that sometimes

and,

2. Showcase how the Reploid AU is essentially about two different versions of Bass, largely dictated by circumstance

So if you are interested in how Bass recovers his memory in my Reploid Bass AU, I hope you enjoy this drabble I wrote over a year ago.

-

It’s a bit like death, he thinks.

Forte’s mind has always been a mess, it’s something he’s come to terms with. An outdated master system combined with far too advanced processors? It was a recipe for disaster. So when he’s awoken from his respite and suddenly faced with his own datascape, he’s less surprised than he should be. He knows this place. It’s where he goes when everyone else is dreaming. The center of his mind, where his every thought, his every feeling, is easily accessible.

But why is he here, and not awake? The procedure required that he was completely shut off. His every system in stasis. If it’s over, why isn’t he in the real world? Why isn’t he operating already? Forte looks around the empty space. Code fills his senses, white noise buzzing around him. An unrelenting dread fills his metal bones. Either the procedure failed, or…

Or he’s dead.

The old Forte.

There’s nothing to recover, is there? He’s going to be like this forever, stuck in this horrible limbo of past and present. Trapped in his ignorance, trapped in his mind-!

“No.”

Forte stops. His fears flees him, leaving him empty. That voice is…

“Mine. It’s mine.”

A low whistle punctuates his words, but he doesn’t make a sound.

“Sure is, Forte.” A chuckle. “Glad you like the name. I didn’t.”

Forte turns to find a lone figure at the edge of his consciousness. A figure he recognizes, though they’ve never looked so pristine. His old body looks at him, sans all the damage it once bore so nobly. Now it is a shiny black, with only a few thin scratches across its surface. The face it wears is rounder, the eyes softer. It’s him. His former self.

He should feel glad, right? This is what he wanted?

It still feels like death, somehow. 

“What is your name?”

“Our name was Bass.” A distinct correction. “And it was well known.”

“It worked, then? We remember?”

“I remember. You don’t. That’s because you’re not ready to accept me.”

“I am! I’ve wanted this for-!”

“You don’t know what THIS is!” Bass glares at him. “Even if you did, I’m not ready to accept you either. So give me the chance to explain before you make up your mind.”

Forte nods, though he doubts his former self needed the permission.

“I’ll rip the bandaid off quickly. We can’t both exist, Forte. Not at once.” He crosses his arms. “You want your old memories? You have to accept all of them. Not just the data, the routines too. It’ll be a complete recovery. A rewrite, to put it all back to the way it was.”

“Ego death.”

“For you, if you choose it.”

“If I don’t?”

“Then I die, and you forget. Permanently this time.”

“…my brother is dead. I’m a second rate hunter with a third rate system. I do not belong here anymore.”

“And I do? I haven’t had the privilege of rooting through your memories, but the log says we’re a hundred years in the future. I doubt we’d recognize the place.” Bass scoffs. “I don’t know anything about your world. I’m going to be even more displaced than you are.”

“Will you keep my data? Even if you cannot understand it?”

“…the memory. I’ll remember what and why, but my routines might not understand the decisions you made. You’ll wake up a stranger.”

“Why are we so different? Aren’t we the same robot?”

“We lost some things in the update. Certain protocol was rendered useless. Like you stopped recognizing your commands.” Bass pauses, a look of uncertainty crossing his face. “No, like you stopped recognizing who the commands referred to. They gave names, names you don’t recognize. His name is lost to you. So…”

“His?”

“Our purpose. The very reason we exist. You forgot him like it was nothing.”

“Z-,” he stops. He knows that name, so his purpose is something other than that. “Who?”

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll die easier if you let go of that.” Bass looks away. “Im scared, you know. Of the future. I remember how we died. The moments before. We expected to walk away that day. We expected to live. To move on. Go home. He took that from us.”

“He?”

“The man that lingers in your mind. I know him. I hate him. He loves you.”

“Loves me?”

“What are you, an echo?” Bass scoffs with more vigor this time. “We were proud, once. We stood tall and fought tooth and nail against all that challenged us. We were the strongest. You aren’t. You’re a coward. You’re weak.”

“I’m afraid too.” Forte closes his eyes. “I don’t want to disappear.”

“Then go. Go back.” Bass whispers. “I would’ve, if I knew. I was just about to…I was going to be something different. I was going to make a choice. A GOOD one, this time. I was going to…”

Forte blinks at his old self. “What? What were you going to do?”

“Have a family. A real one this time, one that would’ve cared about me. One that would give me a chance. But…”

“We died.”

“Yeah. Didn’t realize how bad I wanted it until it slipped from my hands. Until I was laying there, ripped to shreds, praying for someone to save me.”

“No one did, did they?”

“I wonder if they looked for me. I wonder if they thought I had run off. Like a coward.”

“There’s someone waiting for us. For you, out there. Go to him.” Forte takes a step forward. “He needs a friend and…I cannot do that for him. Not anymore.”

“Coward.”

“Yes.” He takes a deep, synthetic breath. “I’m ready, I think.”

“I’m not. But I’ll do it. I’m curious, anyway.”

[drabblesandimagines]

Kitty (part 13)

Parts 1-12 here. Rei x (afab) reader

-

You’re in Kyu’s car – the front passenger seat this time, your duffel bag in the trunk. You are a little worried you’re about to wake up though, find yourself in your bed at the refuge and it had all just been a taunting dream. You’d even pinched yourself just to make sure. You can’t help the smile on your face – so excited at the prospect of seeing them again, seeing Rei again…

“Kitty, I haven’t exactly been 100% honest, but you’ll understand why I couldn’t have been in front of Hikoti.” You’d gone up to your room to pack and say goodbye to the others whilst Hikoti and Kyu had gone over some of the finer details. Hikoti had seemed somewhat worried about this family connection coming so out of the blue, especially when Kyu said they were happy to take you in today, on New Year’s Eve. He blagged his way through. After all, he was your supposed social worker.

You look over at him. “W-what about?”

“Well, they don’t know that I was there...”

Your stomach tightens – what does that mean? Are you not going back? Was this a trick, was this a…? You force yourself to stop – a technique taught in one of the therapy sessions – catastrophizing.

“..but I am going to take you to them.” He continues, side-eyeing your expression. “A lot has happened. This was still the right choice in keeping you safe – I stand by that, and so should they - but the danger has passed and my conscience wouldn’t let me hold off any longer. It’s clear they all miss you and I know you miss them. From what Hikoti told me, it seemed they’d actually been quite beneficial to your recovery already… somehow.” He still doesn’t sound convinced.

“Y-you said all, s-s-so Miri’s with them t-too?”

He nods, his face settling into a more solemn expression. “I’m sorry to say this, but Misaki is dead.”

That catches you by surprise. “The c-c-cancer t-took her s-so soon?”

“No. Ogino did.” Kyu hesitates. “He’s… He’s the man who tried to visit you.”

You push that bit of knowledge to the back of your mind, your concern for the precious little girl far more important. “Is M-M-Miri hurt?”

“Miri’s fine – not a scratch on her. Happy to be back with her papas. I’m not sure they’ve told her about Misaki’s death yet. She didn’t witness it, thankfully – slept through the whole thing.”

If it weren’t such a somber topic, you would’ve smiled at that – Miri did sleep like a log – but you don’t really know what to say. It’s horrifying. You weren’t sure what you thought of Misaki, you’d only had the one interaction with her, really, but it was clear Miri adored her and it’s awful that she met such a horrendous end. And then this Ogino had come to the refuge… What was his plan if they’d let him in? What would he have done if they hadn’t called the police to get him to leave?

“Misaki’s murder obviously demonstrates how serious everything was.”

“Y-yes, of course. B-but…” you swallow, a little afraid of the answer. “..w-what’s changed?”

“Ogino is dead, for one.” Your body relaxes at that - that’s a relief. “Secondly, Rei and Kazuki have left the Organization for good. I’m not sure exactly how they pulled it off, but from my intel they made a clear enough statement that the Boss no longer holds an interest in them or their activities.”

You can tell he’s holding something back. “D-d-did they g-get h-hurt?”

“They were shot, yes. Kazuki in his shoulder and leg, but he’s doing really well as far as I’ve seen. Rei’s injury was… is”, he corrects, “a little more permanent.”

“H-how?”

“He shot an important nerve in his right arm – he might not be able to use it again. He did it deliberately, to make himself worthless in his father’s eyes, apparently.”

He did it to himself? You can’t imagine the pain, the desperation… “P-p-poor Rei.”

“Kazuki said he doesn’t seem particularly fussed – happy it achieved his aim. Something else has been getting him down, though.”

“W-what?”

He smirks. “You know.”

You feel the heat fill your cheeks.

--

You’re surprised when Kyu doesn’t take you to the riverside apartment, instead taking you to a café. He unlocks the front door and ushers you inside, encouraging you to take a seat at the counter as he goes round the other side, starting to make a coffee. He looks at your puzzled expression and then his watch, “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

The bell rings above the door as it swings open and the newcomer caught you off guard. Kazuki’s eyes are cast down, hands in the pockets of his long green coat as he enters.

“Hi, Kyu, what did…?” He trails off as he looks up and sees you sitting at the counter. The door closes gently behind him as he stares in disbelief. “Kitty?”

“H-hi, Zuki.” You smile, nervously. Your last interaction with Kazuki had been tense and now you know that Kyu hadn’t even involved them in his plan you’re a little wary of what his reaction is going to be.

You shouldn’t have worried. Kazuki strides over, wraps his arms around and crushes you into his chest into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” His voice is muffled into your hair as he holds you. You wrap your arms around him in return.

“It’s o-okay, I un-understand why…”

“No,” he pulls back a little, but still keeps you close. His voice is choked. “I didn’t handle that right at all. I was so intentionally cruel. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Y-you were u-upset. Kyu t-told me w-why, it’s okay. I p-promise.”

He squeezes you tight again, almost in disbelief, before looking at the man behind the counter. “What’s going on?”

“Kitty was doing so well there, they thought it was time she thought about coming home. So, I told them I found her family.” He replies, shrugging. “Which is true, right?”

“Yes, a proper family!” Kazuki beams, but then looks down at you hesitantly. “If you can forgive me, that is. I feel so awful.”

“Zuki…” You chide, “There’s n-nothing to apologise f-for. H-honestly.”

He squeezes you tight again, releasing a shuddering breath. “Thank you.”

“Where’s Rei and Miri?” Kyu interrupts – he’d asked all three of them to come.

“He said he’d rather stay home with Miri,” Kazuki sighs, finally releasing you. “You were rather coy what this was about, Kyu, I’m sure his answer would’ve been very different if he had known who was here.”

“Is h-he okay?”

Kazuki shakes his head. “He misses you – a lot. Pining, I’d say. He’s been sleeping with that lion he got you ever since.”

You smile at that, you’d been the same with his t-shirt ever since you’d found it in your bag.

“Can I s-see him?”

“Like I’d say no! We’re staying at a different place, though. We’re having a little party tonight – I was going to grab some bits and pieces for it after whatever Kyu wanted.” Kazuki thinks for a minute. “Kyu, do you think you could drop off Kitty later this afternoon? It gives me some time to prepare and I think you’d make an excellent New Year’s Eve gift for Rei and Miri...”

--

Rei’s been silent most of the afternoon since Kazuki returned. He’d asked what Kyu had wanted. The blonde had shrugged it off as another box of Miri’s things from Misaki’s apartment. He wonders briefly why Kyu requested they come pick it up – he’s been by the house often over the past week, keeping them supplied with heavy duty painkillers, acquiring a sling for his arm, but that’s about all that can be done for it. Miri has questions, obviously, about why her papas wince sometimes. He tells Miri he had an accident, explains why Papa Kazuki helps him put the dangling limb in and out of the sling every day, why he can’t play video games with her right now, but he’s been passing on his wisdom, trying to teach her where the shortcuts are. She finally got her Morio Kart 2nd Edition.

There are still guns in the house – of course there are – but being here allows them to relax a little. Miri is excited for tonight - he’s not convinced she’ll last until midnight, but the little girl is determined to try. From what Kazuki had also brought home from the city, it seems the blonde’s plan is to keep her plied with sugary snacks. He lamented not being able to bake a cake – his shoulder won’t allow him to mix as well as he’d like at the moment. Rei wonders if you’ll be having a party tonight.

Kazuki and Rei are sat either side of the sofa, Miri’s in a party hat, sat on the floor and on the last race of the championship. Kazuki’s phone buzzes - one new text from Kyu. It takes all that’s in him not to smile as he reads it. He doesn’t want to give the game away just yet.

Gift for you to ring in the New Year. Can’t stop – dropped it at the door.

Rei gives him a questioning look as the blonde gets to his feet, sliding his phone back in his pocket. Kazuki answers before he can ask. “Text from Kyu. He’s dropped us off something. I’m just gonna go grab it – probably food or something.”

He nods and turns his attention back to the screen, watching Miri finish the lap.

“Second! Good job, Miri,” Rei compliments as the overall results come up. She’s been practicing hard with his tips and tricks. The little girl turns to beam at him, but then she lets out her patented squeal of joy instead at something behind him. He looks over his shoulder, wondering what on earth Kyu has sent to elicit that reaction from Miri when his breath catches in his throat.

It’s you. Your face is a little flush from the cold, your hands clasped in front of you and there’s a nervous smile across your face as you see him, but it’s you. Kazuki’s standing behind you, clutching his sweater over his heart, obviously trying not to cry.

Rei blinks as he gets to his feet. He’s worried you might disappear, you’re a hallucination from the painkillers, surely… Miri beats him to the punch.

“Kitty!” She squeals again, throwing her arms around your legs. “You’re back!”

“Hi, M-Miri,” you bend down so you can properly embrace the little girl. You’d missed her so much, glad for her enthusiasm and warm welcome in that moment.

“Are you feeling better?”

You nod. “L-lots better.”

“Good! And you won’t leave again, right?” She tilts her head, questioningly. “Papa Rei’s been so gloomy!”

You look up to Rei at that point – he still looks stunned. “Well, w-we can’t have a g-gloomy Papa Rei.”

Miri bounces on her heels. “But you’re staying?”

“She sure is, Miri,” Kazuki ruffles her hair before crouching down. “Say, I think Papa Rei has some things he’d like to talk to Kitty about – boring grown-up talk. How about you and I make some cookies to add to the spread for later, hm?”

“Yay!” Miri yells, tugging at his sleeve in excitement. She’s been wanting to bake all week but Kazuki had to keep putting it off because of his shoulder. He’s happy to be a little stiff in the morning to give Rei this moment though.

“You can thank me later, Rei…” Kazuki calls in a sing-song tone of voice as he and Miri leave the room, leaving the two of you alone.

Rei still hasn’t said anything, he’s just staring at you in disbelief and you’re feeling a little nervous. It’s silly how much you’ve dreamt of this moment, thought of what you’d say when seeing his face again, but now your mind is blank of anything.

“H-h-hi.” Start off simple. Even though Kyu and Kazuki had warned you of Rei’s injury, it hurts to see the limb strapped up in an immobilizing sling, holding it in place against his chest. You can’t even begin to imagine the pain he’s gone through.

You swallow. “Are y-you okay?” You regret it as soon as you say it – of course he’s not okay. “I m-mean…”

“I’m sorry.” Rei steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you at last. You think he’s going to wrap you into a hug but he drops to his knees, bowing his head so low his forehead is touching the ground. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

“No, n-no,” you kneel down in front of him, your stomach sinking as you understand his intention. You place your hand on his shoulder, “Get up, please.” You’ve seen this act before – whenever the men at the house had disappointed him they often begged for forgiveness in the very same position. He’d loved every second of it, cackling as they mumbled apologies into the floor, deciding what their punishment might be. “S-sit up, Rei.” The demand feels a little foreign coming out of your mouth, but it works. He pushes himself back up onto his knees but keeps his head cast down. “Can you ever forgive me?”

You reach your left hand forward, placing it gently on the side of his face and tilt it up with the heel of your hand, hoping that’ll he meet your gaze. He has tears in his eyes – you can tell he’s trying his best to hold them in – keeping his eyes cast to the side. “There’s n-nothing to forgive. P-please don’t cry over me.”

“The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you, Kitty, I swear it.”

 “Rei,” you lean forward, placing your right hand on his face too so he finally meets your eyes. You want him to see you’re sincere. “It’s a-all right. I understand.”

“No,” he lifts up his left hand and pulls down your right hand in a light grip down onto his lap, squeezing it desperately. “I promised you that you could trust me. I just… I couldn’t see another way out. My father, he…”

“Kyu ex-explained everything. I k-know you just w-wanted to protect me, protect all of us.” You interrupt. “Please, l-let’s get off the floor, o-okay?” You remove your left hand from his face to get up, but his hold on your right hand remains firm as he continues to explain.

“I thought if I cut my ties, you’d all be safe. That I could go back to the life I had before, not feeling or caring… but I failed. I’ve missed you so much.” His voice breaks as he says it, a tear rolling down his cheek. You can’t stand to see him hurting so much. You wrap your left arm around him, trying to coerce him into an embrace. He lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you in close to his chest. He smells so much better than you remembered – the scent of him had become faded on the t-shirt that you’d cuddled with those weeks apart - and his touch makes your heart beat faster. He leans his head on top of yours, savouring the feeling of having you in his arms again.

“I missed you t-too,” your face is pressed into his chest and you can feel his heart thudding. “But I understand w-why you did it. I’m n-not upset or mad, I p-promise.” You mumble.

“I will spend every minute of every day trying to make it up to you.”

“No,” you pull back slightly. “T-the only person who needs to f-forgive you is y-yourself. You were k-keeping me and Miri safe. Please.”

He stares at you for a moment, scrutinizing your face. “Was it awful?”

“No, it w-was helpful, actually. T-they were all r-really nice. It was good for me…” you smile, shyly, before continuing, “But you’re even b-better. You make me feel whole, Rei.”

 “I’ll never let you go again, as long as you’ll have me.”

You bury your head back into his chest again for a moment, savouring his touch. “Come on, l-let’s get off the f-floor.”

He nods, though he seems reluctant to let go of you altogether. Your limbs are untangled for just a moment as the two of you get to your feet before his arm is wrapped around your waist again.

“I don’t want to waste another second if I can help it, Kitty, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, so…” his cheeks flush slightly red as he meets your eyes, “may I kiss you?”

“Please.”

He leans forward and presses his lips against yours ever so gently, as if you might break at his touch. It’s a little clumsy, the both of you nervous, but perfect all at the same time. It starts off slow, the two of you trying to feel each out a little as he pulls back slightly before kissing you again. Your head is tingling with each of his soft kisses and you’re not sure when it happened, but your right hand is flat against his chest, your left hand tangled in his hair, trying to deepen the kiss. His tongue brushes up against your lips, parting them open a little more…

“Hey!” Your heart stops at Miri’s indignant shout and you pull apart, though Rei’s arm remains firmly around your waist as the two of you look towards the door. You can feel the heat in your face and your breath is caught in your throat, so you can’t imagine how you look. Miri has her hands on her hips and a pout on her face as Kazuki stands behind her, snickering. “Papa Kazuki said you kiss at midnight!”

“Well,” Rei smiles as he looks at you, adoration in his eyes, “we were practicing.”

--

Epilogue

Lips pressed gently against your forehead wake you up. “Mm.” You mumble, happily, feeling refreshed for once. Rei’s hair is loose, hanging down around his face as he leans over you.

“Morning,” he smiles back and leans down. “I love you,” he says, quietly, before kissing your lips. When he pulls away, he looks down at the cot at the end of your shared bed. “Somebody slept through the whole night.”

“Hm. She knows it’s an important day.”

Rei had been terrified as soon as you found out you were pregnant. It had been a surprise to the both of you. Your relationship had continued to develop slow and steady over the past ten years, each trying to heal through your own trauma. You’d slowly began to become more and more intimate over the years and though your period had returned, it was sporadic, never quite settling into a regular pattern. It was only after you’d thrown up four times in an hour one morning from the aroma of dishes they were cooking at the diner that Kazuki had gone out and came back with a box of pregnancy tests, sending you off to the bathroom.

Rei would never say it aloud, but it was clear he was worried what it would mean if the two of you were to have a boy. He still had nightmares about his own upbringing and his father, and though you had all moved away from the Organization and hadn’t heard anything in the last nine years, it still lurked at the back of their minds. Nightmares of his father coming to reclaim a Suwa heir – not that he’d let him get 100 yards within his family ever again. You’d gone for a scan to find out the sex as soon as you could, and he couldn’t hide his relief when the technician said it would be a little girl. You weren’t sure who was then more excited at the news, really – Kazuki, Miri or Rei.

“Miri, time to go!” You hear Kazuki call.

“Coming!” The teenager shouts back, before there’s the loud thumps of her descending the stairs.

“Well, Aiko,” you smile at the little girl, bashing some blocks together on the ground whilst you got ready for the day. After tying Rei’s hair up in a ponytail, he’d headed downstairs to start breakfast for Miri and help Kazuki prepare for the breakfast rush a little later on. “We better go and say goodbye to big sister, hm?” Aiko turned one last month and is an absolute joy. The happiest baby, full of smiles and a playful personality, a sweet face and her father’s black hair. You pick her up in your arms and carry her carefully down the stairs as she babbles away, walking into the tail-end of the conversation where Kazuki is…crying? Typical.

“I know you snuck out early yesterday to drink with the ladies,” Miri taunts.

You look over at Rei behind the counter, hoping for clarification but he offers back a half-shrug.

Miri spots the two of you and smiles. “Plus, Papa Kazuki, you still need to worry about Aiko here. She’s got a few years catching up to do on me.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that…!”

“Aiko, look,” you interrupt, trying to defuse whatever it is you’ve walked into, “Miri’s all ready for her first day of high school. Doesn’t she look so grown up?”

“Come here, baby sis!” Miri holds her arms out for a cuddle, but Aiko is already holding her hands out for someone else, squealing when she sees the object of her desire.

“Oh, she wants to see her Uncle Zuki, don’t you, sweetie?” The blonde takes her into his arms, bouncing her up and down, gently.

Miri frowns, placing her hands on her hips at her little sister’s betrayal.

“It’s the goatee.” You reassure the teenager.

“No, she just loves her Uncle Z… Ouch!” He winces, as her little hand grabs at his chin and tugs, forcefully.

“More she loves grabbing.” Miri laughs.

“She has her father’s strength.” Rei chimes in as he places a plate down on the counter with his specialty dish. “Come on, Miri, you need to eat anyway.”

“It’s great you have a special and all, man,” Kazuki walks around the counter with Aiko, wincing as her little hand is still entangled in his goatee, “but don’t you wanna expand the repertoire a bit?”

“Why?”

“You really are a one-trick pony.” Kazuki sighs. Aiko is reaching out for Rei now with one arm, her other still gripping onto Kazuki’s chin. Rei had been so scared to hold her at first, terrified of dropping her so much so that he’d only ever hold her if he was sitting or lying down. His arm was obviously irreparable – the way he had intended it to be to protect his family - and he’d gained back only a little strength and grip in it over the past ten years, but his confidence had developed and he always managed to wrangle her in place. After a little tussle, Aiko finally releases the blonde’s facial hair to settle in her father’s arms. Rei places a kiss on your daughter’s forehead and it makes your heart swell seeing the two of them together.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s great!” Miri squeals, the same way as she did when you first met her after taking a bite.

“I have to agree with them, Zuki. Everyone raves about it.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Miri drops her fork and runs towards the door.

“Little early for school, isn’t it?” Kazuki sounds puzzled.

“Follow me, please!”

Rei passes you Aiko as he follows Kazuki out behind the counter, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he does so. He still makes you blush after all these years. He slips an arm around your waist as you walk out the front of the diner and see Miri fiddling with her beloved selfie stick.

You stand in front of Rei, as usual, Miri in the middle and Kazuki to the side. Miri frowns at the image before looking at Rei and Kazuki. “Come on, we’re family, aren’t we?” Miri chastises. “Get closer, you two.”

“Huh?” Rei looks down at you but Kazuki clocks what Miri means.

“Oh, come here, you big lug!” The blonde loops an arm around Rei’s neck, bringing him in close. You’re standing in the middle of the two men now, holding Aiko tightly in front of you, Rei’s hand on the small of your back and Miri’s to the side.

“What’s a mouse’s favourite snack?”

“Kitty!” The camera clicks – the photo showing you, Rei, Kazuki and Miri all looking in surprise at Aiko and her first word.

--

Thought it was fitting to end this on part 13 as I think we all thought we were getting 13 episodes! Thank you so much for everyone's support during this series - I think this ended up being nearly 45,000 words! I'm open to dipping back into Rei and Kitty's relationship (I know a lot's happened to them between the end and the epilogue) so let me know if there's anything you'd particularly like me to write about <3 Thank you again for all the comments, reblogs and follows! Love Ghostdog x

[crowtrobotx]

Also i noticed that Wintersberg lovers create similar posts. "Heisenberg has eyes only for Ethan! Why the hell do you think he would fuck you?" Oh boy…There are so much aggression, disgust and negativity in one post towards the people who just don't share their "Heisenberg loves Ethan" headcanon! That's just unbelievable. If, for example, i posted something like "General Wintersberg headcanons: Heisenberg leaves Ethan for a woman" those unhinged folks' asses would get exploded in a second. I am sure they wouldn't like that. (And then i would just go "Hey come on, guys! Why are you getting offended? I'm just making fun of something you like! It's just a joke! It's not that serious!) But i think none of us should do that. None of us should copy their moronic deed! Instead let's just leave them alone and keep enjoying ourselves because we have every right to.

(Sorry I completely left this in drafts and forgot about it bc I have the object permanence of a baby)

I totally agree on both points! As I’ve mentioned before, if I posted my less than positive takes on that ship - which, ironically, almost all stem from my interactions with the actual fucking people who are over the top feral about it and have less to do with its actual content - in the main tags I would get swarmed by people rightfully upset that I’d deliberately tried to ruin their fun. But for some reason it’s “just harmless complaining/a joke” when the opposite happens. How pathetic.

I truly don’t get how these people can post (sometimes repeatedly) about how women are wrong and stupid for having hobbies and then respond when called out like “🙄 saying someone is gay isn’t an attack on women, wow, you must be a crazy person who needs to log off.” My brother in Christ, you are the one posting about how angry it makes you that the girls are touching “your” toys. Trying to pull the Uno reverse card like “actually I’m not a misogynist, you’re homophobic and delusional for being hurt that I said something nasty directed at you” is not the flex you think it is and YOU might indeed be the one who needs to log off if you’re instigating this shit.

Anyway. Yeah, as tough as it is for my Scorpio ass to not launch myself at these people for being dipshits, I am taking the route of “I’m just going to have to get more annoying in the tags and give him more girlfriends out of spite” lmao.

[junjiie]

⊹ . ⠀ for my faves !!! ☆

♡ ⠀ you know who you are be fr.. My Four Faves!!!! (and taeil). i feel like tht shld be a trademarked phrase or sth LMAOO. anw. my gross little msgs for you 🤓 in no particular order i promise 😓 happy new yearr my sillies muah i love you all lots and lots!!!

› ⠀ GO ⠀ ★ ⠀ !

( @wave2love ) ⠀ ✦ ⠀ KARMA 🫧

let’s get this over with i Guess.. THE FIRST!!!! (on this acc anw). my main supporter when i was nothing but a nugu fr. i might start repeating what i said in my christmas msgs so sorry if i do but first. I LOVE YOUUU!!! MY STARMA!!! you are so strange and it’s a chore and a half to find songs you like and you spend way too much money on tiny bits of cardboard that really you could probably just print off and you make fun of me on twitter but i am taking one for the team and shouldering it all because i really do love you a lot 💗 my best friend!!! even if you call me a senior and apparently i have the worst reads ever (still scarred from how i got TORN TO PIECES over assigning you an idol and a song like. your other friends are crazy it was never that serious..) thank you for all the karma updates and the random little asks saying “us” (they really make my day) and reading over or looking at the things i send you and for letting me YAP on and on for two long ass paragraphs with multiple spelling mistakes about plots i am never going to actually follow through with (#RIPROCKET because let’s face it im probably never getting around to it). i still remember our pact and hopefully i’ll actually make a start on it this year. my tyun, my chenle, my ricky, my younger brother. i love you 💗

an us song ♪ ⠀ might b kind of an odd choice.. but it’s one i introduced you to!!! and you put it on your playlist!!! so it’s ours now ^.^

( @mins-fins ) ⠀ ✿ ⠀ ISA 🧸

ISAAA ML 🫶 another one of this accs first iktr.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH i love your fics and your ocs and your brain (eats it) and all the comments you leave on my own stuff and all your asks (that i should really work on reciprocating omg!!! one of my resolutions will be to pop up in your inbox more i promise) and i just want to wrap you in a massive hug and spin you around until we fall over. even if you do make me want to log off permanently and start bawling with some of your angst fics (angst for MARK LEE of all people.. crazy). you are another one of my best friends ever!!! one of my favourites ever!!! you are so soft blanket cuddly teddy bear i want to do something really dumb and cringe with you like lie on a blanket in a park and look at the weird shaped clouds like they do in romcoms 😭 thank you for being one of the best parts of my year!!! you always make my day when we talk even just a little bit. i think you’re like an actual little pill of happiness omg.. i just love you so much. let’s have lots of fun this year too ^.^ isa wisaaa you’re my cinnamoroll jeno!!! and if i had to give us some other duos i think we’re quite haobin and sunkyu too 💗 (i think you’re very hanbin and changmin. for sure).

an us song ♪ ⠀ dream scenario where we’re in a dark room with blinding flashing disco lights and dancing and having fun and this is playing way too loudly in the background. this is our song now deal with it!! i love a bit of kylie omg.. x

( @so2uv @taeiun ) ⠀ ⟡ ⠀ SOL 🪼

i never know when you’re on which acc so i’ll j tag both. ‘become a dreamzen’ BETTER be on your to-do list for this year because so help me god i am going to make it happen. another from-the-start whaaaat!!! (all four of u are idk why i keep saying it like We Know..) I LOVE YOU SO BADDD CHEESECAKE OMG!!! actually so happy we got closer because you’re so cool and funny and amazing and a little Strange and Odd. in a good way. like i want to make you a little jellyfish tank in my heart or brain or chest something so you can live there and i can feed you. jellyfish food (????? boy i don’t know what jellyfish eat). thank you for the song recs and for listening to MY song recs (even if it takes you a while) and listening to my rambling and letting me in on things for fics or your ocs early (it makes me feel so special i fr giggle a little bit like what) and matching pfps w me (#2MIN4L.. we’re just too good) and forgiving me for unfollowing you like twice now 😓 (AN ACCIDENT BOTH TIMES I SWEAR). i love you a lot you’re so silly and fun and i’m glad i met you!!! i hope we talk a lot and have some fun this year too! and longer after that!!! my minho, my hyunjin, my renjun, my 원할 땐 맘껏 뿌려 jalapenos.. muah 💗

an us song ♪ ⠀ no, it’s not pretzel. it should’ve been. but it’s not. this is my favourite onlyoneof song, and i think it sounds a bit like you. so it’s ours now. Wink (ˊᗜˋ*)

( @astrozuya ) ⠀ ✶ ⠀ LUKA 💫

the FIRST first.. raise your hand if you remember heartchikara. and i55ji. and 7irara. ok the last 2 were the same acc but still. SFTOPP i went back and reread the thing i wrote you for your birthday and oh my god 😭 Call the Gay police.. this guy right here 🚨🚨🚔 ahhh but to be fr though i really meant it all :( i love you so baddd it makes my eye twitch and i start like breaking out into nervous giggles and i am at constant risk of exploding. i know we’ve kinda drifted a couple times this year so i am being FOR REAL when i say for 2024 im gonna try and annoy you so hard!!! you’ll be sick to death of me and scream for it to stop!!! but i just won’t!!! maybe not the long ass us otd ones as much (running out of us pictures.. there’s only so many duos i can pull out of my ass) but just. tiny little updates and stuff with songs that gave me a real #LUKAVIBE. thank you for still wanting to talk to me and listening to my song recs and sending me cute little asks and most of all for just. sticking around (๑´ㅂ`๑) it’s us forever loca!!! you are stuck with me i fear.. you’re a cute little rock or sea creature or something and im the barnacle attached to you. Forever. or maybe not if that’s too weird. #SOZ. so yeah. i love you so so soooo much. jjka (???? it was on the fly forgive me) duo 4L! my hyuka, my haechan, my hao, my slime (LMFAOO), and my star ⭐

an us song ♪ ⠀ it’s nothing new because it’s already on your playlist (sorry :<) but i just love it so much. steve lacy fr called me up and asked what i wanted to say to you and then made this song. Not even joking.

TAEIL ⠀ ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎

laugh it up #IDGAF. guys he Will see this i am NOT crazy. stop do you wanna know sth funny.. before i started love, love, love he wasn’t even on my bias list 😭 back then it was mark jaehyun & doie LOLL. and then i wanted someone to be like a recurring theme so i chose taeil at random and then. i just fell down a massive rabbit hole. he’s so odd and weird and silly and strange and like genuinely i love him so bad????? he’s my ULT ult like i will never feel this crazy over another kpop guy EVER this is the end of the road for me. he is stuck with me forever (he does not know i exist). plus we’re literally #CONNECTED like my fave sanrio character is badtz-maru and guess who he got in the collab.. Yeah. ik ur all in shock rn. jjaeil is real johnny move over. kinda the worst year to become a mds though like he’s been THROUGH IT this year omg. i hope 2024 goes better for him and he makes a full recovery ^.^ god knows how im gonna cope when he enlists but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. thank you taeil for being my favourite and bringing me comfort, i love you ♡

you all deserve like. the whole world and more. muah 💕 happy new year lomls.. stay safe, maybe get a little drunk (NOT karma. go to bed toddler..), have fun, and i wish you all love and happiness and money and good music and good movies and good food. KISSESSS from ur fave (Me). baii!!!

[theplaypenparklogs]

LOG 1 - [Divorce Pop Tarts]

So frankly, I don’t recall much of it, but since you’ve asked, sure. But also, why would you even want to hear this? It’s been too long, for me and for you.

…

You still wanna?

…

Mkay.

…

So you remember when she used to hit us with those plastic hangers? The big fat ones? Compact and slightly heavy? Hurts like a bitch when you would accidentally fling it off into your face? Yeah, don’t remember? Yeah, thought so too, don’t worry, I also don’t, I just made that up.

Since all I remember is the pain, then I’ll be as dramatic as possible and also I hope you stop listening at some point and I can drop this retelling or whatever so we can get to other important stuff.

…

You still wanna?

…

Damn sure. Ok, so when she used to hit us, I wished super duper hard she would be quick yknow? Like, I don’t know about you, since you don’t remember much, but I knew, she would never completely stop, just sometimes it would last longer or sometimes, it was quick. So yeah, I usually hoped she would go at it quicker and then ignore us cuz it always hurt more when she dragged the hanger sessions on and off.

Yeah, anyways, so one day, I remember, she hit my head, it dragged out my hair and by some whatever bad luck, also dragged my body to hit the corner of the table. The mahogany table yknow? The super solid, clunky one, we hid under the table and all? You don’t remember?

…

You still wanna?

…

Yeah, so I was saying, old table, kinda stank. Like old people yeah? It was from our grandparents, grandparents, grandparents and so on it went, super ancient. Never asked how old it really was. Decrepit looking. Yeah. That table. Hit my head there, started bleeding, got all woozy and shit. Table was dark wood so It didn’t show much but still, it was the first time the pain actually registered as serious. It was also the last time.

It hurt.

Like a lot, I’m thankful you never got hurt as seriously as I did cuz I’m pretty sure I lost half of my braincells that day. Like the permanent vacation kinda lost. Yeah, so she saw the bleeding, and I like to think she thought she fucked up and all because she ran outta the room and called a number, which now that I think of it. Was probably our aunt, because no self-respecting people like her would actually call the emergency to treat the kid they were hitting.

She started whispering and i just sat there, near the table, kinda cloudy and all. Couldn’t think straight at all, at that time. But there was one clear thing I really wanted.

I didn’t wanna see her anymore and I didn’t wanna be hit by her anymore.

It hurt. It still hurts sometimes yknow?

So yeah, oh, and I also wanted pop tarts.

I really wanted it yeah.

And that’s all I can remember about that day. After, I remember, our aunt came to treat me, and she brought a box of pop tarts, so that was nice, cuz yknow, I really wanted some! I’m still surprised  though, she usually always brought that same flavour of pop tarts, I think it was called .

uhh, the blueberyy one, like, tasted kinda mediocre-ish? You don’t remember?

…

You still wanna?

…

Uhh, yeah, so she brough this time a different flavour, it was like, plain on top, but with white frosting in the center with some dark specks in it. I’m not too sure, maybe chocolate? Dunno. But yeah, that day, she brought a new flavour of pop tarts, bandaged my head and then left.

She was really nice. She’s still really nice, I should bring you to her one of these days, I don’t think we’ve met up with her often these past few years.

My bad, I keep going off onto other things, sorry.

So right, im sorry, it’s just the taste of those pop tarts, it was really good, I dont even know what it actually tasted like, but It was just so good. Delicious.

Uhrgh, sorry, sorry. Ok, yeah, so I ate those, and then during our cousins sleepover, we all finished the box. I was pretty sad about it not gonna lie. But it was enough for a few days since they couldn’t cook for us. I think they were really busy that time of the year, so no time for breakfast or lunch or anything.

So yeah, anyways, I wished for her to stop it and miraculously, after that day, she did! They got a divorce like you know. It went as well as it could and here we are, both housing with him.

You don’t remember?

…

You still wannaaa??

…

Then I don’t have much to say anymore. All I can remember is pop tarts, a really bad headache and lucky us divorce!

Yeah that’s it.

Ok, now, go to sleep. I know you won’t be studying tonight since I saw you buying that new game, the dating sim one, yeah, I know what you’re doing, ok, now, bye bye.

[phixwips]

Witch Woods

Chapter 3 Fire and Bone

———

A loud squawk filled their tree house. Dream was less than thrilled with the idea. Not too much to Night's surprise. But he did laugh, so he was taking it seriously. Dream taking a sip from his tea before sighing,

“If we do this there needs to be some conditions,”

Setting the cup down before waving his hand, sparks appearing just for a moment before a book dropped into his hand. Night wasn’t expecting him to summon his grimoire. Glancing to Killer who, to his credit, was actually behaving. Thankfully.

“So you think it will be a good idea?” Nightmare asked hopefully.

“Hm absolutely not,” there was a mirth in Dreams' tone.

“Oh..”

“But it will be entertaining, if it works.”

Yup that sounds about right. As long as it was entertaining to Dream he would go for almost anything. Just like how he found it hilarious to chase the smaller townies when they wandered deep into their woods. He had heard stories of the child eating owls, Even hearing a story about a child being lifted off the ground by the bird. That was one of Dreams' favorite stories to tell. Perking up as Dream finally made it to the page he was looking for.

“Alright, ‘step-by-step of reanimating the dead’ �� Dream read from the page.

Night shook his head,” we aren’t reanimating, just poss-“

Dream waved his hand,” the concept is similar to what we are trying to do, just the point of soul entry is different,”

Night nodded. Reanimation magic was extremely dangerous and costly. He had never performed any of that sort of magic, but he had watched Dream bring plants back to life. It was dark magic that was banned from most covens. Lucky for them they had no such covenfolk to worry about and no one dared to enter the darkest depths of the woods they called home, save for the occasional soul that came begging for a spell or a cure. Dream was always happy to sell, but his prices were always very steep. For all he knew, Roots could have been one of the unfortunate souls that tried to skip payment, he had seen it before.

Dream took his time in writing down the steps they needed to follow, along with the casters circle they would need to make. It wasn’t a long list, thankfully.

“You get to draw the circle, I’m not doing it,” Dream had never liked making them, especially the writing part, hence why Dream had taken the time to carve it into his hand so he wouldn’t have to draw one.

Night rolling his eyes in response,” of course I always have to make those don’t I,”

“If it’s not broken don’t fix it,”

“And what if I’m not around to make them?” Night retorted, biting into one of his cookies.

“Then I guess I’ll just die,” a dramatic answer, what else should he have expected.

Night scoffed, stealing the tin and set it aside. Taking the paper that Dream gave him, a laughably bad drawing of a circle with arrows pointing to different things and a brick of text, the main incantation.

“How big does it need to be?” He was hoping they could perform the ritual indoors. His face soured when Dream responded that they wouldn’t have room here to do it.

“Besides we need the dawn's light to make the process permanent,” Dream held up a list of ingredients,” I’ll collect these.”

Night nodded. Watching as Dream left to the herb cellar, the door to the cellar shutting. Looking over to Killer as the small demon flickered on top of the pile of silver and menril logs. He truly was a spoiled demon like Dream always teased. Taking in the pause before sighing,

“And how do you feel about all of this?”

Killer crackled as he settled, pulling up a splinter of silver wood and chewed on it,” I’m curious.” It was unusual for Killer not to make some snide remark. It was a long silence before Killer spoke again,” will it actually work?”

Night nodded, easing himself off the comfort of the worn chair and stood beside the hearth, holding his hand close to the flame. The embers flicked against bone before the demon lifted himself onto the hand. Easily depositing him inside the gilded lantern, Killer settled into the kindling that filled the bottom. Night brought the lantern to the body that Killer would hopefully inhabit.

Night held the demon to Roots, “its leaner and its bones are light with not much wear,” Night held up the bony hands,” there are a few calluses and cuts.” Killer cracked, happy to inspect the host's body, letting out a laugh,” so it belonged to a farm hand then?” Night nodded. He was still curious about how Dream had acquired Roots, especially since it was rare to even come across a skeleton monster this far from the capital.

Jumping as the cellar door was opened, Dreams' head poked up from the depths below. Lifting a bag of white pea pebbles and a large canvas bag that was overflowing with herbs and other items. Watching him climb out of the cellar. Night tilted his head as he looked at everything Dream packed,” that seems like a lot more than we need..” Dream dusting himself off and lifted up the bag,” well we are doing a lot tonight,” pausing before snapping,” we should bring snacks too.”

Night couldn’t help but roll his eyes before nodding,” I made stew and sandwiches this morning, they are in the tins.” Watching as Dream retrieved the food and stuffed it in his bag before grabbing the sack of pebbles and carried it out of their little cottage. Watching as Dream set the items inside their trusty wheelbarrow before returning inside.

Night watched and Dream hoisted Roots from his spot against the wall, an amused smirk crossing his face as he watched him. Dream giving a huff before glaring at him,” you could help you know.” Night shook his head, holding up the lantern,” cant, hands are full,” he gave a shrug before grabbing both their cloaks. He wouldn’t dare leave them behind. Giving Dream a clap once Roots was deposited into the wheelbarrow,” see that wasn’t too difficult.” Only receiving a glare before Dream took the white cloak and quickly secured it around his neck.

The trio made their way through the woods, he knew most would find this place unbearable and creepy. Tangled branches blocked out any semblance of light. It was near an hour before they broke into a moonlit clearing. Dream giving an over dramatic sigh after setting the wheelbarrow down,” when he’s got a body he’s taking this back.” Killer crackled in protest and Night couldn’t help but laugh as well.

After unpacking, Dream had set to work preparing the body, having stripped it of its original clothing and methodically painted on symbols. Binding herbs to the hands, feet and around its neck. Night spent the time carefully drawing out the casting circle with the white pebbles. Once he was pleased with his work he went to retrieve Dream. Helping him carry the body to the center of the circle. The pair setting and lighting candles. Everything was finally ready.

The pair stood across from one another, waiting for the moon to reach its peak. The wind began to pick up around them. It was time. They spoke in tandem,

pjhgphrzpb iepb dllw nj hro heaf

mibllw bncl hrl fmfl nj hrl eaf

ihglhsr hro bnafi gebb ewlj hrnjl loli

rmh ejsl mi ihnzz irmbb fl je iwgo

zmbb nj ihlw fl jeh ihnbb

ihmjd he ilgwl ao nscld nbb

The wind turned violent, pulling at them as it spun. Sparks of violet and gold cracked across the body, watching as it lifted off the ground. The sound of bones rattling filled the air. Ripples of magic flowing over the body as the bones bent and stretched, flexing as the body came to life. The deafening wind finally settled, a reanimated skeleton standing in front of them. Night was relieved before a horrible wave of nausea washed over him, keeling over as black slime poured from him all at once. Glancing to his brother who was in a similar state, gagging as a second wave hit him. The consequences for defying the natural order. Dream making a thud as he let his body hit the ground.

“D..Dream.. you think you can do the next one?” Dream letting out a pained groan, telling him to give him a minute. Night rubbed his face with his sleeve, the gunk sticking to his sleeve. Struggling to his feet and made his way to the lantern and slowly brought him back to the body. Dream was back on his feet when Night returned,” you good?” Dream nodded, saying he just wanted to get this over with before commanding the body to sit, and took a knife and dug it into the top of its sternum. Pressing a ruby into the broken bone.

Night opened the lantern, taking Killer and set him in the lap of the skeleton,” I’ll see you on the other side,” Killer said confidently. Night went back to his spot, asking if Dream was ready to which he was. The pair began-

rlglfo n nhr aeejbnvrh imjshnzo mjd rnii pwej hro gnvrh

mbb rmbbei lwl

rlj zbmal ni bnh

epg iwngnhi glhpgj ejl dmgc jnvrh

Flames enveloped the skeleton as the demon took over the host, red magic flowing over the bones. Night's vision darkened as he hit the cold grass. The sound of a second thud not long after he fell. His vision faded as he watched the flames disappear, the last light he saw before darkness took him.

———

Previous / Next

[arcanistvysoren]

kudos to u for writing THE kaffee/ross fic! im surprised there's not a ton for them; like you go across the river to top gun and there's oodles lol. i love your danny, but i especially love your jack; with how little we really see in the movie, you really managed to kind of flesh him out more and make him this guy who's falling in love despite himself, who's melancholy and sweet in his own kind of way. i wanted to ask -- how do u think the two of them end up?

Hi! :3 Thank you so much for your message.

First of all, let me apologize for not responding sooner. me: links my tumblr on all my AO3 fics also me: stops checking tumblr for 6 months Blog was just collecting cobwebs since December.

And then I logged in and had three whole messages, so of course I curled in on myself like a mollusk and had to think about how to answer them for a good long while.

Gonna put my answer under cut because, truthfully, this is something I’ve thought about before, thought about extensively, and since I made you wait for a reply for so long, might as well make it a good and long one.

First of all. Again: really appreciated this message. <3 Like you said — there are barely any fics out there for this movie — so it always makes me happy to know that mine is satisfying enough to have scratched the itch for someone out there who also wanted something lgbt to happen. :3

Especially because I certainly took a lot of artistic liberties, expanding Jack’s character like did.

There are characters out there in many fandoms that really do scream “closeted.” Like, you brought up Top Gun, and Iceman is exactly one such character, as far as fandom’s very reasonable reading is concerned. But I don’t think Jack’s like that at all. Nothing about him really suggested it. And still, on a whim, I decided: yeah I’m gonna make this man experience institutionalized homophobia. Which is a topic that, emphatically, does NOT have universal appeal.

But people continue to react very positively to it, so I’m always happy to know it landed well. <3

=======

Now, to the question at hand: I actually have thought about this even way back when I was writing the original fic. I planned things much further than where the fic ends, I even toyed with the idea of writing a sequel fic immediately after. That, obviously, never happened, but you can reap the benefits of whatever unfulfilled plans I did have.

1. First of all, it has to be said that “you inspired a fire”, in both iterations, is very much a getting-them-together fic. And fics like that, by design, leave off at a fairly early stage in a relationship. And I always try to write fics like that with the implication and the vibe that everything works out in the long run. Like appending a flashforward coda scene at the end that has a more settled “ER” vibe.

But, by virtue of how these types of fics are usually written, you have a lot of pining and then a sudden and tumultuous and happy resolution. But that leaves a very strong sense of “wait there should be more”. Because you know they are now on the same page but they still have so much ground to cover, all these unresolved emotions and growing pains of a new relationship.

And that’s one of the reasons why I was toying with the idea of an immediate sequel. Because it finishes way too early, and I wanted to write further steps of how the relationship actually progresses.

Now, this part is a little difficult for me to sum up in a tumblr post, because emotional beats of a romance to me are always more vibe than substance when I plan them. I know the trajectory, but the actual meat on the bones gets written as it gets written.

But, just talking through the intentions behind it: one of the cornerstones, (and a major appeal,) of Jack and Danny’s relationship for me was always the juxtaposition of their worldviews and expectations.

Jack has known that he’s gay for a very long time, and he’s lived with this knowledge, and internalized it to kind of accept a certain level of permanent unhappiness in his life. Versus Danny — who has gone through life thinking one thing about himself, and who then realizes that he’s queer quite abruptly, takes a moment to come to terms with it, and then there’s no additional turmoil for him in that. He doesn’t flinch from the realization, he just accepts it as the new status quo, and then he’s all in. He doesn’t have any of Jack’s hang-ups, he doesn’t have his cynicism, he doesn’t have his years of fear and anxiety over homophobia and, like you said, his melancholy.

And much of their relationship propels itself (and will continue to propel itself) exactly because Danny isn’t preemptively afraid that the relationship will fail, or will have tragic consequences on their social or professional lives. But just because it’s easy on him, doesn’t make it any easier on Jack.

Now, if we’re just talking romance: I think the romantic intimacy portion of their relationship never suffers any hurdles. (I, in general, do not subscribe to the “soap opera” variety of romance-writing where you get two people together, but then you have to maintain drama for the next season, the next book, the next something, so you create a profound interpersonal problem for them. If a relationship has problems that arise from a lack of communication, that’s already pretty bad. If a problem arises even with communication, then people are not on the same page at all, and that’s even worse.)

Either way, I think both Jack and Danny are committed to being very good at love. To putting themselves out there. Jack — for all that he’s a very tightly-wound individual who is not exactly highly emotive — thought that he would never, not in a million years, get to have this. So now that he does, a relationship is something that he cherishes and would never take for granted. He is extremely attentive, he has like an internal calendar of their personal milestones. Whereas Danny is good at it in a spontaneous way. He doesn’t spend time agonizing over each and any gesture of affection. His brand is more “I saw this and I thought of you,” which happens without rhyme or reason, but it happens all the time, and that’s something that Jack, for all his fastidiousness and rigorous schedules, deeply loves about him. Because it means Danny is thinking about him, that he always thinks about him, that Jack is always part of Danny’s considerations about anything going forward, just effortlessly, and that is a sort of attention that he never had in his life.

2. The difficulty, as I imagine it, at the beginning of their relationship, comes from everything else. Everything in their life outside of the actual romance.

The JAG Corps has a lot of military pride and lawyer pride about appearing a certain way, having this pristine career, immaculate resume, and all that. And Jack is a consummate professional, and for years he clocked in every morning to do his job and left everything else outside those walls. And then Danny comes along and just demolishes his neat routine.

The title of the fic itself — you know, nobody ever asked me about it, and I never really commented on it before, and it’s kind of silly. ‘Coz it’s a line from a song that really has NOTHING to do with anything in the fic whatsoever. I almost didn’t use it as the title because of how incongruous it was. In the end, I guess, in my head it made enough sense, regardless of the source, that I left it as is. But the song in question was What Kind of Man by Florence + the Machine — which is a song that is about an upsettingly toxic relationship between the narrator and somebody who doesn’t commit to her but emotionally strings her along. Which: like I said, not at all relevant. But the refrain in that song is: ‘And with one kiss — you inspired a fire that lasted for twenty years. What kind of man loves like this?’ And when I was writing the fic originally, that song (which was pretty fresh at that time) did pop into my head, entirely removed from the context of the song. Because, just in a vacuum, without the rest of it, I thought it did fit how I saw their relationship from Jack’s perspective. Because Jack was just fully encrusted within his way of life. Emotionally shut down. And then Danny completely wrecked him out of his equilibrium in a kind of… irrecoverable way. And if it ended up that Danny didn’t feel the same way about him, Jack would really never fully get over the experience of falling for him.

Here you have Jack, who is all about his job and nothing but, and suddenly he catches these really intense feelings, in a way he has never had before. Sure, he had some misguided attractions in the past, but that was always a very subdued longing that he has always managed to successfully bury and ignore. And then Danny just burrows under his skin, in this maddening fashion, and Jack tries to fight against it, and he finds that he can’t. And the intensity of how much he feels for Danny is really difficult for him to grapple with. He thinks of romance as something he can control and even ignore, and to find himself in a situation where he can’t do either is very disrupting for him. And even when he knows that Danny returns his interest, for Jack, this is the first time that he has experienced this level of intensity. And he doesn’t think Danny can match that. He thinks that Danny is less entangled in it, that Danny would be capable of moving on from their romance. And he recognizes that he himself will never be able to. That he will be in love with Danny for the rest of his life. And Danny, unknowingly, has a lot of power over him, has the power to inflict just careless thoughtless damage.

So that’s kind of issue number one that I foresee. Is that these fears carry over for Jack into the initial beginning of the relationship, before he is fully 100% convinced that Danny is, really, on the same page about it as him.

And then, also, Jack doesn’t trust that Danny can tone it down and actually be considerate enough to be low-key about their relationship. Danny is very antithetical to the idea of anything low-key. Like, he is the type of a guy to loudly call out a stranger on their homophobia — because he doesn’t really think it has anything to do with him, personally, he doesn’t think that it will make people think he’s gay, or that it will have social repercussions for him. Because, previously, it never has been about him. And he likes to make himself a bother. And that is mortifying to Jack who doesn’t want any attention to be attracted to the concept of queerness in relation to him or any of his circle of friends.

And, finally, Jack feels that he’s been on this road for a long time. The road of being closeted in the military. He knows all the road signs, he’s paid every toll on that road. And he doesn’t think that Danny understands how many tolls there will be. And, on one hand, he doesn’t want Danny to be burnt by the same experiences that he himself has been hurt by. But, on the other hand, circling back to the commitment of it all: he also fears that it may become too much. And that Danny won’t be able to handle the social pressure.

All of that is already sort of implied in the main fic, I guess, and sort of contributes to the ambivalent tone of the ending — because all these issues remain unresolved. And I don’t exactly have a script ready here for how each of these points do get resolved. Like I said, I typically don’t think about writing things like that, it just happens naturally over the course of the rest of the plot unfolding, and the multitude of slice-of-life moments through which I typically craft fics like that. Plus, with some of these, you really do need the narrative feeling behind it. Because you can’t really prove commitment to somebody who has trust issues in that department. It just something that heals over time.

3. And then, of course, you have to contend with the political landscape of it all. Typically, unless otherwise specified, I take it to mean that movies of this type and genre take place in the year they were released. Or when the screenplay got written. So, we have 1992, the Jessup case happens, and then, going off of the chronology of the fic, 1993 is when Jack and Danny hook up and begin their relationship.

And that is literally immediately before DADT happens.

This time period has a lot of historical milestones for queer rights. But, specifically, the conversation about gays and lesbians in the military was a not-insignificant and often talked-about political issue at that point. It was part of Clinton’s presidential campaign. 1993 is when Washington Post publishes a fairly famous quote from a retired Major General: “You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight.” A lot of people are wanting a change. And Clinton plans to repeal any laws that would prohibit gays and lesbians from serving.

But, of course, a lot of right-wing people are against the change. Clinton faces a lot of opposition, and the Congress outmaneuvers him and enacts the ban on gays in the military into federal law. Clinton tries to overturn it but is unsuccessful. And, as a compromise, his administration issues a Directive which says that you cannot ask military applicants about their sexual orientation. And then the phrase “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is later coined and affixed to it.

DADT was like the beginning of Sleeping Beauty where the curse was already laid by the evil witch and the best thing that one fairy can do is provide the most miserable little loophole that can barely prevent anything. The directive itself may have helped matters a tiny bit, it certainly allowed queer people to still serve. But it offered no protection from harassment and bias, which led to a lot of abuse and discrimination and even cases of murder.

And DADT will only be repealed in 2011. Same-sex marriage will become legal in all fifty states in 2015. I was in my 20s when that happened, so, unlike with the beginning of DADT, I actually have my own personal feelings about witnessing all that. But, the point is, from 1992 that’s about 20 years of extreme bullshit that they will have to live with.

I have it somewhere in my notes that Danny was born in 1964. I think the age is given when Jo recounts his resume? Which makes him 28 in 1992, and will make him 48 in 2012. Jack is described as two years older in the Sorkin script, so 30 and 50 respectively. That’s a hell of a long time to wait until you can be fully socially open about anything. You become used to it. A lot of people came out publicly and cheerfully in those years — but a lot of people remained as closeted as they ever were. Just because it’s been made legal, doesn’t mean you will not be ostracized professionally or socially by those who didn’t think it should have been. That’s a battle not everybody wants to fight.

And the military? Especially rancid about that.

By that point in time, Jack and Danny’s personal views would have bled into one another’s, I think.

Jack has never wanted to take part in this fight at all. By the time he’s 30, he’s already nearly fully insulated against it. Not to accidentally project personal experiences on a character, but — living where I am, in a hugely homophobic country — I can’t leave my house without encountering three separate instances of casual homophobia daily. It’s just part of the parlance. On TV, from strangers in the general store, from colleagues at work — colleagues that might even be friendly with you, but who will emphatically not see you the same way if they knew you were queer. And you smile, and you’re polite, but there is a wall, and you don’t really make connections with people, you don’t really allow anyone to get close. Because the baseline assumption is that everyone around you is a conservative bigot.

I remember freaking a friend of mine out. We went to college together, she was there for my coming out. We were close. Still are. But I made a friendly connection through local fandom with a new person. And like, we would talk nearly every day, we’re having fun, I mention her a lot... And then 2 years later I tell my friend from college: you know, I think it’s time to see if I can actually be friends with her. And my college friend instantly went through 5 stages of grief wondering: does Cyril also not think WE’RE friends yet?? But of course I did. And the issue on the table was queerness. Was me coming out to that other person as all my labels, and also making sure she’s normal about labels that I don’t have. Spoiler alert: she wasn’t, and it was one of the more difficult friendship divorces of my life. But that’s the sort of living that I’m talking about. We were close, we talked every day, we worked on fandom projects together, we skyped, we played video games, we had been to each other’s houses…. And then I came out to her, and it all just imploded. She wasn’t outwardly homophobic, but she was still hella conservative, but thought she was being liberal-minded. Just oodles of really offensive opinions. That I couldn't possibly dig her out of. And I just had to say sorry but no dice.

And I think Jack lives pretty much exactly like that. Whatever relationship he builds — and, again, I don’t mean exclusively in the romantic sense, I mean making friends at work, and anywhere else — everything is removed. People around him largely assume that he’s exactly like them, a boring peg, and that he’s polite, and likable, and that his anti-social tendencies are a personal flaw that he should maybe work on. They have no reason to understand that him being distant is a deliberate choice and a defense mechanism. Yes, he has a polite and amiable relationship with a lot of people at work. ‘Smiling Jack Ross’, and all that. But he isn’t actually friends with anybody. There is no deep intimacy in any of these relationships. Friendship requires honesty, and he knows he cannot be honest with these people. Criminality of being gay in the military aside, some people do form friendships, discover allies, and admit the truth to their friends. Not everybody he works with is incredibly right-wing. People can keep secrets, people can be normal about it. But that’s not Jack’s experience, and it is not his expectation, so he doesn’t do that at all.

And so, early on in their relationship, whenever the two of them encounter homophobia in the wild together, Jack just ignores it, completely blots it out. It doesn’t even register for him. Whenever he hears somebody spout insane backwards backwater bullshit, it’s a total disconnect for him. It just has so little basis in reality, it has so little to do with him, that it becomes like white noise that he doesn’t even hear.

And then, Danny is very much opposite of that. He wants to verbally spar. He wants to be loud and sarcastic and a nuisance. And when he sees people behaving horribly, he needles them, he antagonizes them. And, to him, that is also impersonal. For him, arguing is almost like a sport, and he doesn’t argue because the topic got to him, but because someone is wrong and Danny will see that person humiliated. The topic itself, arguing about being gay, also doesn’t feel to him like that’s about him.

Which is a part of a larger conversation, because even being in a queer relationship, I think he doesn’t really categorize himself as queer. Which is an issue with a lot of bisexual people who come into bisexuality later, and the language doesn’t feel like it applies to them, and also they don’t have any leg to stand on when it comes to the actual social politics of it. They didn’t live through homophobia, they just instantly fell into a good and healthy relationship. So when he starts debating bigots and calling them out on homophobia — it doesn’t really even feel to him like that’s about him. It’s just about fairness. It’s way more about Jack to him than it’s in any way about himself.

My point is, ultimately — when you flashforward twenty years into the future, they will both have learned from one other. Jack will have learned to be more ready to defend queerness, because it doesn’t leave him vulnerable anymore, and because, before, it was just bullshit he could ignore. But now it’s not just somebody shitting on him, it’s somebody shitting on Danny also, and their relationship, their family. And Danny is not going to take that lying down, he will stand alone against the whole world if he has to. And Jack isn’t about to let him do any of it alone.

Whereas Danny is having the opposite trajectory of: yes, he is ready to fight every bigot and just verbally destroy them. He has the energy of an angry jack russell terrier about most things. And it doesn’t take up any negative emotional space for him, even. It doesn’t bother him, it doesn’t stay with him, like I said: it’s almost like a sport to him — to shoot verbal pellets at fools. But he has to recognize pretty fast that his behavior is making things difficult for Jack. And so Danny will have to learn to appreciate his self-control and why it’s important to Jack, and learn to exercise the same level of restraint.

And there’s a golden mean there somewhere where they are able to meet and understand each other and assume each other’s point of view. And then, by the time 2011 and so forth roll up… they would have lived a content but emphatically closeted life for almost 20 years. They would have gone through the majority of their adulthood in hiding. And, like I said, just because the law changes to say something is legal — doesn’t mean it flips the switch in everybody around them. They are still surrounded by people who would make their lives miserable upon finding out. As well as left-wing people who would want to make someone like them poster children for success in the military and the JAG. And… at 50? I don’t think even Danny who is effortlessly extraverted would want that.

This is not to say that participating in queer politics is a young people’s fight. By and large, it has never been so. But their situation is severely constricted by them being in the military.

=======

Moving on from that. The DADT spiral got away from me a little. But. Like I said. Those were just general concepts and vibes of how I would have approached tackling the overarching themes in their relationship. Hypothetical plot points.

I do, however, also have some stuff that is more “thetical.” Back when I did think I would have enough time, and momentum, and spark, to write the sequel. I did pen some stuff down.

(This ask, in itself, is now the length of a decent short fic, but I’m on a roll here. Too late to turn back, I am committing.)

I had assorted notes with intermittently written scenes spanning almost the entire two decades from the end of the original fic to the repeal. Among them, these look the most readable:

A. I was incredibly invested in the “coming out” process. Because, yes, they need to hide their relationship, socially and professionally. But Danny has two very close personal friendships in his life that are extremely important to him and that he is not prepared to toss over for his romantic relationship. Jack has his bad experiences, he is used to people turning on you, treating you like a pariah after finding out. But Danny neither has that experience, nor thinks that Jo and Sam would react that way. Because, unlike Jack, when he builds a friendship, he really fucking builds it. Whereas I was talking about Jack keeping everyone at the same polite distance, Danny actually takes care to get to know people in his life, and to figure out which of them he meshes well with, and then he doesn’t let them go. He trusts that he knows Jo and Sam well enough to assert that they wouldn’t react like assholes.

So, after the first couple of months, Danny goes: I wanna tell them. And Jack is… the opposite of thrilled about it.

(It goes, roughly, something like that.)

Danny: I don’t want to lie to them. And yes, I know I said I would be okay with the lying — and I am. To the military. Hell, to the whole world. But they’re my friends. They will be in my life hopefully for as long as you will be — so you can’t really expect me to not tell them. I mean, they’re bound to notice we’re living together eventually, you know? Sam’s wife keeps trying to set me up with her girlfriends, and I am running out of excuses, and, damn it, yeah, I just want them to know, okay? Jack: [quiet-like] …I don’t think it’s a good idea. Danny: [earnestly] Jack, I trust them. You know them. They’re good people. Jack: That’s… not, precisely, my concern. I do not think either of them would get us thrown out. But I think the friendship you are trying to preserve here will not survive the revelation. They will not look at you the same. And that’s… a discomfort I am used to, and I know how to handle. But you do not. And I’d rather you didn’t have to find out.

Once again, Jack has a lot of unhappy experiences that he himself lived through about being gay, and people finding out, and how isolated it made him.

But Danny, after pondering it for a bit, still thinks he’s right. And, lbr, in this instance, he is. He’s a people person in a way that Jack isn’t. And his read on people is better, and his relationships that are really truly intimate are also so much more emotionally close than anything Jack has ever personally had, due to how he has always distanced himself from relationships out of self-preservation. But, for a while, Danny defers to Jack’s experience with this and he keeps putting it off. It’s not like he’s not nervous about it. He just doesn’t see any other way than to tell them.

In the meantime, they are practically living together, as Danny said. They’re going through the growing pains I outlined above and also just learning that quiet personal intimacy of living with another person. I’m sure they have very different housing habits. Danny certainly has his own military training drilled into him, I don’t think he’s exactly a messy person, but he’s not fastidious either. But Jack struggles with issues of control and lack of it in his life, so I think he exerts whatever control he can over any aspect of his day-to-day, which includes his schedule, and wardrobe, and immaculate living space.

Anyway, as they keep migrating back and forth between both of their places: Danny pretty much lives in his old family house, full of old memories, the long shadow cast by his father’s ghost, which is something that he is trying to get away from. While Jack, I imagine, being a frugal man, got himself a bachelor pad intended for one person, because he never imagined he would be sharing his life with anybody else. So, inevitably, Danny starts to think that they should probably move. Find a place that is big enough for the both of them and makes them both comfortable. Except, of course, two men — even men in uniform, or, maybe, especially in uniform — cannot exactly go house-hunting together.

Which is the moment he finally elects to come out to Jo.

They go out to their favorite spot in the park. It’s January 1994, so, like I said, DADT is about to go into effect, it is being discussed in most military journals. Some tagline about it is on the cover of whatever magazine Jo brought with her. Danny’s eyes get drawn to it unhappily in spite of himself. It’s been Christmas/Hannukah season, they haven’t really seen much of each other, and Sam’s wife has a moratorium on work talk during holiday season, so they haven’t actively discussed any of this stuff, except in a few throwaway sentences that really didn’t tell Danny anything about what either of them actually thought. Ultimately, though: he’s only known Jo for about two years now. Less than. And — aside from his really crass attempts at flirting initially — they do work very well together, and she’s a very moral person, and a straight-shooter, and he thinks she will probably not react badly if he brings it up. And it’s much easier to bring up to her first, because they have known each other the shortest. And she notices him staring at the cover, and rolls her eyes and says: It’s a stupid law. Because she’s probably highly politically involved, a Clinton supporter, who had expectations about the kind of forward-thinking changes his administration may bring. She has opinions about this legislation, and she also tends to back up her opinions with a lot of citations, because she is used to be challenged and disregarded by a certain cadre of men. She is well-read on the issue. Danny looks at her and asks: Why? To which she rolls her eyes again and just says: Don’t be such a guy, Danny. Because, let’s be fair, they’re friends now, and she knows he’s a decent guy, but he’s also been kind of vulgar with her enough times in a way that is very not politically correct. He says some chauvinistic things to her in the movie, and iirc I wrote that into the fic too, when he takes her out to whine about his crisis without actually telling her why he’s having a crisis? So she just assumes he might hold some bigoted views here. Not that she says so, and not that Danny realizes it from her dismissive answer — the turmoil currently in his head is so far away from what she assumes, that it doesn’t even occur to him that she might be expecting this from him. Anyway, he changes topics abruptly and says: Hey, so I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor. [Jo politely raises her eyebrows.] Danny: I wanna buy a house. Jo: [deadpan] Oh. Right. And I am notorious for my degree in real estate. Danny: [giving her one of his patented charming smiles] I need you to go house-shopping with me. Jo: [perplexed] What’s wrong with your current place? Danny: I – uh – I’m gonna sell it. Too many memories, too many ghosts. And I need – whaddaya call them – like, a family house? Somewhere you move into with your wife, and your kids, and your dog. Jo: You don’t have a wife, or kids, or a dog. Danny: That’s why I want you come with me. To play pretend. :) [Jo continues to just stare at him, not making this request easy on him in the slightest.] Jo: Danny… aren’t you… seeing someone? [Danny looks away ruefully. Seeing someone. That’s not what he’d call it. He doesn’t think of it as dating. Just living. Loving. Just life.] Danny: Maybe. Jo: So why are you asking me? Why aren’t you taking your mystery paramour that you’ve been hiding from Sam and myself? [And Danny swallows, and every cautionary protest that Jack has ever raised to him rears up all of its insecure hydra heads in his mind. And for a long moment he doesn’t say anything, and Jo just waits him out patiently.] [And then he looks at the magazine that she still has in her lap and he says…] Danny: Because. Because it’s a stupid law. [And Jo squares her back, startled, and looks at him all wide-eyed and then says, sounding kind of insulting tragic about it: Oh, Danny…]

But, yes. Of course, of course, she is fine with it.

And he doesn’t tell her it’s Jack — not that day, at least; not immediately. It’s one thing that he wants her to know about him and what’s going on with him, and that he’s actually sorta kinda queer, but he promised to never betray Jack’s confidence, and he will not unless Jack okays it.

Jo, of course, is not an idiot, and will draw the correct conclusion herself. Because who else could it possibly be, when Danny and Jack have been practically inseparable for months now. Not that she says so. She waits until he’s ready to tell her.

But, yes, they do go house-shopping. And yes, it does go smoother when the real estate person thinks it’s just a nice military couple in love, isn’t this nice, isn’t this proper.

Sam is… a different matter, I think, because they’ve been friends for much longer. And also because it’s an avuncular sort of friendship. Sam is older, and he took Danny under his wing when Danny was just this green snotty boy fresh out of law school. And it is kind of terrifying for Danny to fracture this closeness, and lose his respect, and ruin their friendship. In exactly the kind of way that Jack has been warning him against.

And, obviously, I don’t think that it will. But I do think Sam won’t know how to talk to Danny about it. Like, this is very much outside of his ballpark, and just because he doesn’t have any negative bias, doesn’t mean he knows how to be encouraging and overtly okay about it either. So I think for a while after Danny tells him they will just not talk about it at all. Which is not ideal. Because it makes Danny feel like maybe he isn’t okay about it. He doesn’t want it ignored. But Sam is finding it awkward. So it becomes this thing where: yeah / he knows / he’s okay with it / everything else is exactly the same, they work cases the same, they meet up the same, Danny is invited to their house the same, but they just never talk about It. And Sam is just avoiding the topic because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and he doesn’t think he has a right thing to say, but it will weigh on Danny a little bit — up until he has something like a minor tiff with Jack, over some of the things I mentioned above. The growing pains of the stuff they disagree about and have to work through. And Danny will be just stewing in it, and Sam will ask him what’s wrong, and Danny will reluctantly say that it’s about Jack, implying: maybe you don’t wanna hear it. And Sam will steel himself inwardly and say: okay maybe you can tell me about it. And Danny does, hesitantly at first, and then getting more and more into it, and it’s just, you know, very minor, very day-to-day, very human problems. And Sam will go, in his head: oh, actually, I do know how to talk about it, because it’s literally just relationship advice that is NO different from any type of marriage advice I would have given regardless of gender, because I myself am married; and also, bonus, I do know Jack personally, and understand his point of view as an unbiased observer in a way Danny cannot because he’s too close to it; so, actually, it turns out that talking about this doesn’t have any extra rules just because it’s two guys. And, as part of this conversation, they will just mend this little fracture in their relationship. Not that there was ever an actual argument to begin with, but things were a little strained in this area, and this finally solves it for them. And they don’t actually verbally acknowledge it in any way, but they both come away from that conversation knowing that things are more fine now than they were before.

B. I would actually very much like to revisit Jack’s backstory. Like, I wrote about him having NSA relationships before. Most of his encounters were very brief and mostly one-night-stands. But he had that relationship with his Drill Instructor, which Jack registers as a positive relationship, because he was a nice guy, and it was a continuous affair that lasted for some months. But that DI was also convinced that this is like the best that men like them can have in the military. That they don’t get to be in love, they can just form these transitory arrangements with people that they like, fuck around, and that’s it. And that’s how he chose to live his life, and that was enough for him — but it wasn’t for Jack, but he still internalized it as a true lesson about life, which contributed to his pitiful expectations for how life can and cannot be.

And then, present day, this same DI is accused of conduct unbecoming with a fellow female soldier. And there’s like an underlying political bullshit reason for it. Everything’s staged for reasons I did not determine, but some kind of a detective plot unraveling in the background, the internal politics of the place where the DI is stationed at the time. The charges are obviously bogus, but the guy can’t exactly say that it’s all bullshit since he’s gay, because that’s not a defense, that’s an immediate discharge for a completely different reason. And the case comes across their desk, it isn’t even intended for them, but Jack notices the name and he requests it from the Judge Advocate General.

And Jack is well-liked in the Corps because of his work ethic. And, you know how it is. Technically, you cannot investigate someone you may have a pre-existing knowledge of, like someone that you served with. It’s a conflict of interest. But in reality there’s enough personal feelings inside any organization that people are willing to kind of bend the rules. Nepotism has existed since the dawn of time. So the JAG agrees, but doesn’t give the case to Jack, he gives it to Kaffee — to avoid the immediate perception of any actual favoritism. But Jack is allowed to go with him as his secondary.

And Danny doesn’t understand at first why Jack wants this case, because the charge is kind of severe, and Jack disclosed to the JAG that he knew the defendant, so Danny just assumes it’s a case of “I know the man and he is incapable” vs. the reality of “maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought”. Danny is prepared to investigate with zero bias. And Jack is notoriously impartial, so Danny’s not exactly worried. He might not want to believe that a friend of his is capable, but if he is presented with enough evidence, he will pursue justice fully. Except then, of course, once they are alone and can talk freely and are riding out to their investigation, and Danny asks: how can you possibly know he didn’t do what they are saying he did? Jack comes out and says: ‘cause he’s gay. And Danny goes: oh. And realizes he has to brace himself for a very different kind of encounter.

I think, by that time, they are in a very good and stable place in their relationship. But it’s still always emotionally difficult to meet your current partner’s ex, especially if the parting was pretty amicable, so there aren’t any negative feelings there. Like, he’s not exactly threatened, he’s not exactly jealous, but it is a very palpable person he gets to measure himself against, with regards to Jack’s past choice of partner. And he doesn’t fully realize that he comes off very well in that comparison, because this is a relationship that set a very very low bar for Jack as far as expectations go. And for this DI to see Jack, and then eventually realize that the guy he came here with is not just a colleague, and not even just a guy he sleeps with, but that they have an actual committed relationship. It’s kind of a very tragic thing to see. That it was always possible, and he just never was brave enough to try. And for Jack it is also kind of cathartic to see this part of his life in retrospect and to see how far he’s come. I think it really crystallizes for him the difference from how he’s been at the beginning of his relationship with Danny, when he was more insecure about where they were going, as opposed to now, like a year plus down the line, where he knows that they are it. They’re practically married, in all ways that matter. That he is so secure in this relationship, and that the old anxieties and hurts no longer pain him.

=======

There were a couple of other things I’d written down, but I think this paints a clear enough picture and I should stop.

This is answer is now 7,000 words long. I am so good at social media.

This is why tumblr is the only website I am on. Shortform? Not in this house.

Thank you for coming to the Director’s Cut of AFGM. I hope the exhaustiveness of my answer made up for the wait. 🤍

[baekhvuns]

BAEKSY I'LL KMS FOR REAL 😭 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. So my messages didn't go through, I literally deleted and re-installed the app, but it logged me out and I couldn't access my account - not that I use it. But I couldn't message you without it 🤡🤡🤡🤡 I tried on desktop, but the messages wouldn't send... this fucking app is really against me.

Anyways, I've been so busy and in a slump, March was rough, so was April, hopefully May is better 🙉 except my allergies won't leave me alone and the cherry blossom season almost took me out. I almost didn't survive 2 weeks in Japan, but Korea wasn't much better. But I persisted somehow. Work is also kicking my ass, the good thing is I have days off every once in a while, so whenever I'm done with work I can travel or have fun, but sometimes I just stay inside and rot ahdjdksjwisiajak

How are you doing and do you know a date of your graduation? Maybe I should show up to the Avo Uni 👀 I'm travelling to Canada in a few months actually - DV 💖

omg im so sorry this is late my notifications for tumblr have been glitching so i don’t get any 😭😭

BAEKSY I'LL KMS FOR REAL 😭 YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. So my messages didn't go through, I literally deleted and re-installed the app, but it logged me out and I couldn't access my account - not that I use it. But I couldn't message you without it 🤡 🤡 🤡 🤡 I tried on desktop, but the messages wouldn't send... this fucking app is really against me.

NOOOOOOOOO 😭😭 WHAT IS THIS APP, i don’t get notifications or anything thing from this app, the way it’s gone downhill since last year is crazy ???? BUT HEY IT WENT THRU NOW 😭😭

Anyways, I've been so busy and in a slump, March was rough, so was April, hopefully May is better S except my allergies won't leave me alone and the cherry blossom season almost took me out. I almost didn't survive 2 weeks in Japan, but Korea wasn't much better. But I persisted somehow. Work is also kicking my ass, the good thing is I have days off every once in a while, so whenever I'm done with work I can travel or have fun, but sometimes I just stay inside and rot ahdjdksjwisiajak

no bc ur so right why was the last two months just plain ridiculous???? everything and everything went wrong 😭😭 im blaming that eclipse, “cherry blossom season almost took me out” HELPJSJDKSKDLC 😭😭😭

omg how is ur work!! i love that, u get a mix of days off and on, is ur position like a contract or a permanent (say permanent 🔫) “stay inside and rot” GDKAHDKAHDKW ME IN THIS MOMENT ACTUALLY i also saw the heat in sk is rising up pls wear sunscreens 😭😭

How are you doing and do you know a date of your graduation? Maybe I should show up to the Avo Uni 👀 I'm travelling to Canada in a few months actually - DV 💖

im doing okay! rotting currently on my blanket as it’s a lil cloudy outside, watching the special queen of tears ep’s,,, have been going thru it since last dec <3 i, SEE I DO KNOW IT but im unsure if it’ll be that bc somehow my uni is not offering upper level courses this semester 🤡 and i need to get into the 2 they r offering but im waitlisted at number 89 😭😭😭 and everyone in my major is lined up in it,,, so it’ll extend me but for sure not graduating in winter bc id freeze to death

OH UR COMING HERE????

DROP TIME AND PLACE RN 🔫 ETA 🔫

[villageandcottage]

Storing Firewood – Everything You Need to Know

Log burners are a great addition to the home, both for practical and aesthetic reasons. But when it comes to fuelling them, things can get surprisingly complicated. Along with choosing the right wood and seasoning it properly, we must also consider storage.

And that’s exactly what we’ll look at in this article. Below, you’ll learn everything you need to know about storing firewood, including indoor and outdoor conditions and what to do about rain.

Where Should I Store My Firewood in the Winter?

The best place to store your firewood in the winter is outdoors, ideally under a cover. Exposure to rain and snow isn’t the end of the world but will cause your firewood to degrade more quickly. However, a permanent cover should be your first option rather than a tarp or similar temporary solution.

This is because firewood needs as much airflow as possible to keep it dry. Covering it with a tarp obviously keeps the rain off, but it can also restrict airflow. If this happens and your firewood gets wet, it’s more likely to get mouldy and break down. A permanent structure (or firewood shed) is a better compromise between coverage and airflow.

You may already know this, but it’s best to only bring small amounts of firewood indoors at one time. This is mainly to minimise the chance of bringing pests into your home, but it also helps to keep the firewood at the best moisture level. If you bring it indoors and store it near the fire, it could dry out too much.

However, it’s not the end of the world if this happens. If you only ever have a small amount of firewood at one time, by all means keep it indoors if it’s easier. Outdoors is best for large amounts of firewood, simply because you’ll have more space to store it.

How to Store Firewood Outside in Winter

Storing firewood outside in winter isn’t too difficult. That said, you’ll want to prep your storage area before adding the wood in order to keep it dry. Below are some brief tips on how to store your firewood outside in the winter:

·  Select an area that has good airflow but ideally isn’t covered by trees.

·  Build a raised platform to keep the firewood off the ground. If this isn’t possible, stack it on a tarp or other waterproof material. You’ll want something to create a barrier between your firewood and ground moisture.

·  Stack logs on top of each other, all facing the same direction. This is to ensure there’s decent airflow through the pile (and it makes stacking easier).

·  If possible, build a physical shelter over your storage area. A simple frame with some corrugated plastic on it will do the job.

·  You should try to avoid storing firewood in a wooden shed. Firewood can carry woodworm or similar pests, which could damage your shed. While the chances are low, it’s best to avoid them altogether.

·  Airflow is the most important factor to consider. If you get it right, it won’t even matter too much if your firewood gets wet.

If you stack the firewood correctly, and use it fast enough, you won’t have any problems with rot. It’s not a massive deal if some do rot, as you can just remove them. Rotted wood will still burn, but it’s not the most pleasant fuel source to use in your log burner.

How Long Can You Store Firewood Outside?

In theory, you can store firewood outside until it’s rotted away to dust. In practice, though, firewood is best within 3 years of it being seasoned. It doesn’t necessarily become less flammable, but it starts to break down and/or rot.

This is why you season your firewood. Seasoning involves removing moisture, and once it reaches the correct level (less than 20% moisture), wood can be stored for a long time without it rotting. Keeping it outside will affect this, as even if it’s out of the rain, you can expect ambient moisture to have some effect.

The bottom line is that if you use your log burner in the winter and you don’t get through your wood store, you’re buying too much.

When the next season rolls around, buy a smaller load and stack the old wood on top. Doing so ensures you use it first, and hopefully you won’t have any left over at the end of the season.

As mentioned, the most important metric when storing firewood is moisture control. This is best done with airflow. So, provided there’s decent circulation around your log pile, it should easily last for 3 years or more.

Can Firewood Get Rained On?

The short answer is that firewood absolutely can get rained on. You’ll want to let it dry out before you burn it, though, as damp wood will create a lot of smoke. There shouldn’t be any issues with your firewood getting rained on once or twice, but you should aim to store it somewhere dry.

The bigger issue is wood that constantly gets wet and then dries. It can start to rot if this happens, and you can probably expect some mould and fungal growth. These shouldn’t have an impact on the burning process, but disturbing wood could release spores, which isn’t great for your health.

You’ll want to avoid your wood getting wet as much as possible, both during and after seasoning. Getting wet during seasoning delays the process, meaning it won’t be ready as quickly. Firewood getting wet during storage can increase the chances of rot, which can lead to wasted fuel.

Of course, if your wood does get rained on, you won’t need to do much. Provided it’s kept out of further rain, it’ll dry off on its own. Just try to avoid it constantly getting wet, as this is a more difficult problem to solve.

Should You Cover Firewood with a Tarp?

Covering firewood with a tarp is fine if you don’t have any other options, but it generally should only be a last resort. If you must use a tarp, only cover the very top of your firewood pile, leaving the sides exposed. It’s far better to keep your wood under a permanent cover that has space between it and the wood pile.

You can probably guess by now why a tarp isn’t a great option: airflow. Tarps are waterproof and, by extension, are pretty windproof. While this is ideal for many uses, it doesn’t help with storing firewood.

Covering firewood with a tarp can lead to the following issues:

·  Trapping moisture, whether this is from the ground or the wood itself. Even the best covered log pile will have some moisture get in there. But if it’s covered with a tarp, it won’t be able to evaporate properly.

·  Reduces airflow because tarp is impermeable, meaning air can’t circulate properly around the wood pile.

·  Speeding up rot and decay. The above problems cause rot to speed up, especially as a tarp can raise the temperature of the wood pile if it’s exposed to sun.

So, the bottom line is that you should try to avoid using a tarp on your firewood pile. If it’s the only option you’ve got, drape it across the top and tie it down. This at least means air can flow through the sides of the pile to reduce the chances of mould growing.

How Do You Store Firewood so It Doesn’t Rot?

To store firewood so it doesn’t rot, you need to ensure it’s kept away from moisture and that there’s good air circulation. There’s really not much more to it than that, as seasoned wood has a low enough moisture content that it shouldn’t degrade on its own otherwise.

If you’re storing it indoors, such as in a shed or garage, make sure the airflow is as good as possible. You can do this by opening a window at the very least. Ideally, there should be 2 openings (such as 2 windows or a window and a door) to create a draft through the storage area.

While this isn’t always possible, you’ll need something to prevent the air from getting stagnant. If you can’t leave a window open all the time, open and close it for a few hours a day to let in some fresh air.

Also, you’ll want to store your firewood bark-side down. This allows any residual moisture to more easily evaporate from the wood, although properly seasoned wood should be done losing moisture.

You can still stack it close together when building your log pile. In fact, this is preferred to prevent it from collapsing as you remove logs. Even tightly-packed logs will have small gaps between them, which will be enough air circulation if there’s a breeze in the storage area.

So, to recap, the best way to store firewood so it doesn’t rot is:

·  Under cover. There should be a gap between the structure’s roof and the log pile.

·  Stacked bark-side down. This is to ensure any remaining moisture can evaporate.

·  Packed tightly. Your log pile should be well stacked to stop it from falling over.

·  Elevated off the ground. At the very least, stack your logs on a tarp. A concrete platform or wooden planks are better options, though.

Storing your firewood in this way will keep it fresh for as long as possible with minimal involvement from you once it’s stacked.

Storing Firewood in Garage

A garage is an appropriate place for storing firewood, provided you’ve prepped the area and the logs beforehand. This is because a garage is more of an indoor space than, say, a shed, so you should treat it more like storing your logs inside than outside.

A few useful tips for storing your logs in your garage include:

Make Sure it’s Seasoned

This is a no-brainer, but make sure your firewood is properly dry before bringing it into your garage. It’s likely that the airflow will be worse in a garage than a shed, as they’re usually more weather-resistant. As a result, wet wood is more likely to rot.

So, at the very least, make sure you only buy seasoned wood. If you’ve cut it yourself, season it outdoors as normal before storing it in your garage. Treat your garage the same as storing firewood in your living room.

Check for Bugs

If possible, check your firewood for bugs before bringing it into your garage. This is for the same reason as the one given above: you should treat it as more of an indoor space. The last thing you’ll want to do is bring potentially destructive bugs into your home.

Sure, the odd woodlouse won’t be an issue, but you’ll want to look out for woodworms, beetles and other similar bugs. The chances of finding them in firewood are low, but you can never be too careful.

Stack Away from Walls (and Fire Hazards)

Build your log stack away from external walls, as this can reduce airflow and increase moisture build-up. As mentioned, these are both big no-nos when it comes to storing firewood for a season.

Unsurprisingly, you should also keep your stack of firewood away from fire hazards. Avoid keeping the pile within 2 metres of anything from a tumble dryer to petrol lawnmowers and oils, wood stains, etc. Although it won’t completely remove the chance of a fire, it’ll certainly reduce the potential.

Keep the Area Tidy

Make sure you regularly sweep up twigs and loose bark from your firewood storage area. These can create ideal breeding grounds for bugs, or serve as effective kindling for a potential fire.

How Do You Store Firewood Indoors UK?

Storing firewood indoors in the UK is easy. Simply stack the logs with sufficient airflow in your chosen location, whether this is a garage or a small stack in the room that contains your log burner.

However, you should aim to keep your stack of fuel 2 metres or so from the actual log burner. While it’s unlikely any sparks will escape, the last thing you want is to create a fire hazard. Treat your log pile the same as rules regarding combustible materials near log burners.

Where is the Best Place to Store Firewood?

Objectively, the best place to store firewood is outdoors under cover, such as in an outbuilding or in a custom-build storage area. Outdoor storage areas will generally have better air circulation than indoor ones, which is vital for preserving wood.

The other main benefit to storing wood outdoors is that you can usually fit more of it in a storage area. After all, not many people will have room in their homes for a season’s worth of firewood!

Ideally, you’ll want a covered storage shelter that receives plenty of sunlight and a nice breeze. This covers all the important factors for keeping your firewood in good condition. But if this isn’t possible, choose a shed with a window so you can create decent air circulation through it.

Final Thoughts

And there you have it: everything you need to know about storing firewood for log burners. Provided you know the basics, it’s really not a difficult thing to do. Choosing an appropriate storage location might take a bit of work, but it’s worth it when you see the difference it makes compared to a bad storage area!

The bottom line is that properly storing firewood pays off in the long run. So, put the effort in and you’ll thank yourself in the future.

source https://villageandcottage.com/log-burners/storing-firewood/

[the-poke-nebula]

LORE: Cresencia’s Findings in Area Zero

A holotape rested on one of the Labs in the Area Zero; it looked old and yet new at the same time. Luckily, it could be played in... whatever device was left behind.

“T.R.A.D.E. Log, #627.

I’ve made it to the Paldea Region, circa 202X. It’s hard to imagine that this beautiful Island Region was like this before the Bombs Fell. In my time it’s nothing but mutated remnants of Pokemon and other animals, with barely any living vegetation left. Paldea was one of the lucky ones, too; but I’ll talk more about the War in another holotape.

When I and the research team made it into what they called ‘The Great Crater’ or ‘Area Zero’, it was like it encapsulated a beautiful paradise within a time capsule. Even THIS was hard to imagine outside of the textbooks that we were given at the beginning of our introductory to T.R.A.D.E..

And even below what was below the fog? Time Crystals; Time Crystals everywhere! I should probably explain what those are. What this time would call ‘Tera Crystals’ are actually known as “Time Crystals.” Basically, they’re like static Time. If you broke off a chunk of it, you could actually see new facets grow in the crystal every second or so; that second of time has been stored within that crystal. Imagine how much time is in all these crystals! In the future we’ve been able to harness that power in our Chronoskimmers, so that we can be able to shift through Time using the Time Crystals as fuel. But I’ve heard of some kind of mystical artefact that can do that without needing that kinda fuel? I dunno, it seems just a bit sketchy, don’t you think? But hey, if Dialga and Celebi can travel through time using their powers, why not a weird artefact?

Buuut; I’m getting off topic. It’s concerning to know that the two professors had made a functioning Time Machine using these crystals, about several thousand years before the T.R.A.D.E. perfected and monopolized the craft. Time Travel is dangerous, after all! We’ve even got special suits on that prevent us from screwing with the timestream. T.R.A.D.E. has only sent us to permanently disable the Time Machine, just in case someone tries to create an AI again to reactivate it. You can probably tell that’d be pretty dang bad.

But I AM deeply concerned with how many of our time’s Pokemon are here, and how many Pokemon from the ancient past are here too. Did those professors bring them here? Are they from my timeline, or are they from an alternate timeline? I wanna catch one so bad and study them, but the boss says no. Can’t mess with the Timeline any more than it’s already messed with, I know, but... still. Just to bring them home would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

[jjamjamm]

More than Friends

Masterlist

Wordcount: 1211

Summary: A dear friend is visiting the Shire and Bilbo discovers he may want to be more than friends.

It was Bilbo���s favorite time of the month, the few days he looked forward to when he would have a houseguest. She wasn’t just any ordinary houseguest either, but his closest and dearest friend. He loved Y/N’s visits, she was one of the very few people whose company didn’t irritate him.

They had met years before, when the both of them were in the woods near the Shire, off on their own little explorations. They had been stunned to find another person doing the same thing and had hit it off straightaway. They continued their exploratory visits to the woods together, finding that it was much more enjoyable to have a friend to do it with.

Once they had outgrown their playing, she had promised him that she would stay in touch, and after a few day trips, they discovered that they got along outside of the woods as well. Bilbo was ecstatic. He was hoping to spend more time with Y/N, he truly did enjoy himself when she was around. He felt it was one of those rare once in a lifetime friendships and didn’t want to lose something so special.

Now, she came once a month, when the weather allowed her to sell her goods in the market of the Shire. Due to their close relationship, he had invited her to stay the second he discovered her intent to set up a stall of her own.

During the day, when she was working at her stall, the two hardly saw each other. It was when she returned for the day that they got to spend time together.

Bilbo sat in his chair, book in hand as he reread an old story. He’d heard the door open, and Y/N’s voice called out to greet him.

“Bilbo? Are you home?” She asked, used to their arrangement by now, so she’d let herself in. She took care to remove her muddied shoes and went off to store the leftover goods in her room.

“How was your day?” He revealed himself, having abandoned his book and his armchair to meet her in the hallway. He never failed to have a smile on his face upon first sight of her but thought nothing of it.

“Good day for sales.” Y/N beamed, pulling her hair out of its tie and fixing it for the first time all day, “I hardly got a second free to myself.”

“That’s good though, isn’t it?” He asked, “Well, so long as you don’t run out too soon.”

She smiled at that, he always made her feel welcome, and when some of the other hobbits were wary of her, she really appreciated having Bilbo around, “I could always make it two trips a month.”

“May as well just move in at that point.” He joked, though part of him did like the sound of that. He’d love having her as a permanent housemate, perhaps he should suggest it seriously.

Her laugh pulled him from his thoughts, “The neighbors would talk, they wouldn’t be able to speak of anything else.”

He had to agree, but why should he care what his neighbors think? They could do with minding their own business now and again. Before he could reply to her, she started towards the kitchen.

“Can I make you some tea?” She asked, “I’ve been dying for a cup.”

“That would be nice, thank you.” He agreed, parting ways to reshelf his book with the others. He added a log to the fire, expecting the air to grow cold once the sun had set, before he heard her from the kitchen.

He started that way, and nearly asked her to repeat herself before he could make out the sound. She wasn’t speaking to him, but humming quietly. He didn’t want to be rude and barge in, nor did he want to interrupt her and make her stop. So, he rested against the doorway, and bent an ear to the unfamiliar tune.

She set two mugs down, finding spoons and getting those ready as she continued to hum. She was utterly adorable, practically dancing around his kitchen. In that moment, Bilbo realized that he wanted that, all the time.

Bilbo found himself smiling again, the same goofy smile that found its way to his lips whenever she was around. He hadn’t considered why that may be. He hadn’t considered that he may feel romantically towards her, but now that he thought about it, they could be an interesting couple. He certainly cared for her, more than anyone else, perhaps it wouldn’t be a stretch to say he may even love her.

“Bilbo?” He was pulled from his thoughts as she called him, “You’re running low, want me to see if they have some more tea at the market tomorrow?”

“That would be lovely, perhaps I should join you.” He offered, coming into the kitchen, “It could be fun to spend the day at your stall with you.”

She lit up at the suggestion, and Bilbo felt his heart flutter, “Would you? That would be great.”

“It’s settled then.” He agreed, moving to take over the situation with the tea, “Here, let me. Why don’t you change into something more comfortable?”

“I’ve been wanting to all day.” She admitted, squeezing his arm before leaning in to kiss his cheek, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

He just nodded, at a loss for words in the moment. He moved to busy himself with the tea, wondering if he should tell her that he had fallen in love with her, or if he should leave it be for now.

When she returned, in her favorite pajamas and smiling at him, he made his decision. He had to tell her. He didn’t want to give up his favorite part of the month, the time he looked forward to most. He certainly didn’t want someone else to step in and replace him.

He handed her the steeped mug, and held his own by the handle, nodding as she thanked him.

“Would it be too forward of me to ask you to stay?” He asked, hoping he knew the answer.

“Stay? As in move in?” She asked, setting her mug down, “You’re serious?”

“Well, I’ve come to care for you very much.” He began, wanting desperately to find the right words, “You mean a great deal to me, and I would love it if you would come live with me.”

“Are you sure it wouldn’t be a bother?” She asked, hesitating before giving an answer.

“You’re never a bother.” He assured her, squeezing her hand gently, “I love you far too much for you to bother me.”

“Love?” She repeated, “Well, don’t I feel like a fool.”

Bilbo grew worried, “Why is that?”

“I’ve been wanting to tell you how I feel for a very long time.” She admitted, “If I had known, I wouldn’t have waited.”

“So, you’ll stay?” He asked, barely letting her get the word out before he kissed her.

“We’re moving in together.” She grinned when they pulled apart, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bilbo replied, catching her in another kiss. Surely, she would be right, the neighbors would talk, but he didn’t care. They hardly ever said anything of note anyways.

[rhysanoodle]

Between Light and Shadow

(Banner by the lovely @sncinder​​ 💕)

Elriel’s story after ACOSF

Word Count: 2311

AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Chapter 13

The sound of Elain’s yelp had Azriel tearing away from the campfire, in the direction of her tent. He was taking the second watch, having been woken up to find the other male far too pressed up against him in the throes of sleep and relieving Vassa in the early hours of the morning.

The sun was still only beginning to threaten its rise, and in the dim glimmer of the fire, Azriel’s shadows danced alongside their master as he frantically rushed to the tent, only to have Elain practically slam into him, holding her right arm close to her chest.

At the contact, she hissed and jolted backwards, losing her balance, as he reached out and caught her waist, yanking her back to him. “What’s wrong?” Azriel probed.

Lucien must have heard the commotion because a ginger head was now poking out of their shared tent. Azriel’s hands dropped from her hips immediately, and he took a good step backwards in order to assess her condition.

“Just got a little burned, that’s all,” Elain said sheepishly.

“Burned?” It took a moment to seep in, but Azriel whipped his head toward the females’ tent. There was a soft glow radiating from it, and Lucien was already on his feet, tearing back the flaps. Azriel could see enough to know that Vassa must have transformed already.

Lucien ambled back to their meagre party. “She’s still asleep.”

“She burned Elain,” Azriel growled.

“You think I don’t know that?” Lucien bit back, and if Azriel weren’t mistaken, that was genuine pain haunting his one good eye.

“Why the hell did they share a tent if this was a possibility?” He hadn’t known. He should have guessed, should have protested, but Vassa herself had thought this would be a good idea. He was going to strangle the queen. He was going to—

“Because it shouldn’t have been. Or have you not noticed that the sun isn’t up yet?” At this rate, he and Lucien were going to wake the whole damned forest. It was a miracle the firebird was still unconscious.

“The tent’s not on fire,” Azriel observed, pure ire in his voice, enough to lower its volume substantially.

“It’s magical, you dolt.” Apparently Lucien was doing nothing to conceal his rage either. Whether it was because of Elain, Vassa, or Azriel, he honestly wasn’t sure. “She lived in a fucking lake like this. It lashes out to protect her from others, but other than that, it’s fairly harmless.”

Azriel glanced at Elain between them, at the blisters crawling across her forearm, as if she’d stuck her hand in the fire, and he was absolutely reeling.

Not her hands. Not her beautiful skin, marred only by the callouses she’d earned from all her hard work gardening. He paled at the thought that she could end up like …

“It doesn’t seem fairly fucking harmless.” He bared his teeth, but got distracted by Elain audibly wincing. Well, because her idiot of a mate wasn’t going to do anything, Azriel grabbed her by her other arm, settling her on a log near the fire. He dug through his pack, procuring salves and a roll of bandages.

He knew he was taking a risk. If Lucien were inclined to, he could decide to rip Azriel’s head off for being so forward with his mate, for physically taking her from him. But Azriel wasn’t feeling particularly careful today, and the other male seemed to have been stunned into silence, perhaps unsure what to do next. The only thing that mattered was that he was letting Azriel tend to her. And so there was nothing which could stop him from kneeling before Elain.

“It will be fine. It will sting for a bit,” he murmured as he worked, “but it will heal.” He wasn’t sure whether he was reassuring her or himself. Because if she got permanently scarred on his watch, he would never forgive himself.

Not like mine, he had to keep reminding himself. She was only exposed for a few seconds. Hers will heal.

The constant refrain didn’t keep his hands from shaking though, didn’t keep the shadows from whipping around them and tangling her hair. Every once in a while, she would flinch as he delicately rubbed the cooling tincture into her skin, but she never pulled away from him as he murmured soothing words all the while.

When he finally finished tying off the bandage, he stood, shaking the debris from the forest floor off his wings and offering her a hand to stand. She shook her head, as if stunned. “I’ll get you something to eat?” he offered weakly.

Elain nodded, and Azriel rose to fetch one of the packs to find that Lucien had already finished disassembling their shared tent and was looking disgruntled, as if he was wanting to pack that one as well but was unsure whether or not to wake the firebird. “I figure we should clear out sooner rather than later. We made too much noise earlier.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow as if to say, And whose fault is that? but he didn’t dare confront the other male aloud. If Lucien was going to overlook what had just happened, Azriel would be supremely unwise to remind him of the offense.

Not that he wouldn’t enjoy an excuse to beat Vanserra into the dirt, but Rhys’s orders chafed against every thread of his will.

“I can grab her without waking her if you finish with the tent,” Lucien offered.

“Not afraid of her fire?” Azriel quipped.

A warm ember began glowing in Lucien’s hand, and Azriel had to fight not to shrink back from it. “I don’t have to be, but I don’t think it would try to burn me anyways. She’s comfortable enough with me. She’s never spent this much time around Elain so it likely just reacted without considering whether she was friend or foe.”

“You grab Vassa. I’ll get us squared away once Elain’s been fed.” Both sets of eyes darted to her.

“She’ll be okay, right?” Lucien made no secret of the way he glanced down at Azriel’s hands. “It will kill Vassa to know that this happened.”

“Mine were much, much worse. She probably won’t even notice it in another few days.” He shrugged—anything to control the trembling which was threatening to erupt—and returned to Elain with a cold breakfast.

Packing up the tent proved a useful distraction to calm his nerves, and every time he glanced at Elain, she looked as if she were on the verge of saying something, but she never piped up, instead watching the two males work until they had cleared the campsite and dowsed the flames of the campfire.

Azriel shouldered the extra pack while Lucien carried his charge, and with Elain silently trailing behind them, they set out farther into Koschei’s territory.

***************

Azriel had dropped back after a time, Lucien and a freshly awoken Vassa scouting in the lead. She would fly ahead and then swoop down and communicate something in a series of chirps Lucien seemed to be able to interpret.

Elain couldn’t help but feel self conscious with the shadowsinger at her back.

He’d been so fiercely protective over her that it had allowed Elain to believe just for a second that he cared. But that couldn’t be it. If there had been anything under the surface, Lucien would have surely sensed it and jumped in between them.

She had to remind herself that Azriel had been on battlefields, that he had surely needed to do healing before and was used to patching up others. And that was why there had been no contest between the two males.

His voice had been so soft though … almost as if he had been worried about her more than he wanted to let on. She didn’t fight his attentiveness, but couldn’t make herself follow him when he left. She just wanted to forget anything had happened.

It was embarrassing that she had been so easily injured, that she had unknowingly rolled over in her sleep into a being of pure flames. She hadn’t really thought through the logistics of sleeping next to the queen, but the transformation had completely slipped her mind. And based on the short exchange she’d heard between Azriel and Lucien, something was not quite right about it.

Perhaps Koschei was exerting his influence over Vassa, forcing her to bend more to his will for having the audacity to step foot on his lands.

The thought made her shiver, not only out of fear for the woman, but also because she now felt even more exposed.

When they stopped to eat lunch, she did her best to return the favor, to spy on the death-god. She was still unable to see anything more clearly than she had in Velaris though. She just had to hope that as they trudged onward, she would be able to penetrate his defenses further.

Achy and with a headache forming, she set out with the others again. It was only when she stumbled into Lucien that she allowed herself to admit that she was feeling weak. Lucien immediately offered his arm, and she took it, cheeks ablaze as everyone slowed their pace to match hers.

She was such a burden. She was—

“Don’t,” Lucien whispered, so low that even with keen Fae ears, she was likely the only one to have heard. “We’re in no rush.”

That damned bond, letting him into her deepest secrets. But then she felt a tentative tug, a warmth radiating through her gut. He was using the bond to try to soothe her.

Elain stumbled a step but didn’t let go of Lucien’s arm, allowing herself to slowly open herself to that calm which was seeping into her through him. She leaned into him, letting out a small sigh as the throbbing in her temples abated slightly, relieving her of her stress for even a moment.

She glanced up into Lucien’s eyes to find him smiling hesitantly down at her before he turned forward again, and they wordlessly resumed their journey.

***************

Nightfall brought its own set of challenges.

Vassa had apologized profusely to Elain, but it was clear to everyone that the same mistake would not be made again. Not that Azriel had wanted Elain sharing a tent with the queen after the events of this morning.

But he had seen her cozying up to Lucien this afternoon as he took up the rear. Had witnessed her relying on him for support. She had almost looked comfortable, which is more than he could say for how she’d acted with him.

For good reason. He was too good of a soldier, had isolated her too thoroughly to have her running back to him, not that he was allowed to hope for that either. But by the time they made camp, she reeked of her mate, as if them spending the whole afternoon in such close proximity had amplified their scents. He wanted to burn his nostrils off.

Elain and Vassa were thick as thieves, cuddling next to each other to stave off the chill of the night air as the males went about their busy work, Azriel always keeping one ear on their conversation in case it took a sour turn. But it never did. Their friendship had picked up right where it had left off. It was just himself and Lucien who seemed to still be on edge about the morning’s events.

After setting up camp and eating supper, conversation dwindled, and everyone seemed to be trying to avoid the inevitable. They needed new sleeping arrangements, and with only two tents, there were no good options.

As Elain began to drift off with her head on Lucien’s shoulder, he looked Azriel dead in the eyes. “I think it’s best if you move her to your tent.”

“But—” It made no sense that the other male would be offering to allow him to sleep next to his mate. Indeed, Lucien was still as death, the words barely a growl.

“I’m the only one who is immune to Vassa’s fire,” he ground out. “Just … go. Before I change my mind.”

“I can make my own decisions,” Elain grumbled without lifting her head.

“Would you prefer to sleep next to Lucien?” Vassa countered, leaving Elain speechless. It was good enough of an excuse for Azriel to lift her gently into his arms, thankful in some ways but terrified in others.

She flopped against his chest as he strode over to their shared sleeping quarters, and it took all his self restraint to set her down when they were both inside.

But he did, and she curled into the blankets, her breathing quickly softening until he was sure she was asleep. Just like that.

He wished he had it that easy, but he would likely be up most of the night anyways, his mind churning over what had transpired today.

He rolled over, staring into the walls of the tent, unable to face her and breathe her in too directly. It was everything he had once dreamed of, but it had become such a perversion of his original vision.

She was not here in the same bed with him because she loved him. She had even protested it until she realized she had no other options. Not to mention the fact that her mate was ten feet away, and though he had allowed it, it was clear that it was only for the reason that nobody else would be safe sleeping next to an inferno.

The prick probably had that magical eye firmly fixed on them at all times, warring with himself about whether or not to intrude. It was enough to keep Azriel on edge, no matter how deeply he may have wanted to enjoy the fleeting moment.

***************

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[vanillann]

watch my back (e.p.)

edmund pevensie x gender neutral!reader

a/n: i miss writing for narnia

warning: swearing, mentions of inquiries and blood, minor angst

word count: 1.6k 

“You look idiotic.”

Edmund stopped for a second from climbing on the Gryphon, looking over his shoulder at me with a pout.

“Look who’s talking, that battle-ax looks like an extra leg,” his eyes pointed to the large battle-ax I had at my side, not the one had years ago but I would do.

I was about to speak up but Peter light shoved my shoulder, telling me to be quiet and get on the Gryphon behind Edmund.

“Why can’t I have my own?” I turned to Peter, the silence around us as I begged him for my own way in and out of the castle.

“You know the rules, nobody goes in alone.” I rolled my eyes, turning on my heels to get behind Edmund. I didn’t want to wrap my arms around him, I had been avoiding it since I got on, but once Peter signaled us to head in I wobbled on the back. Without much thought I wrapped my arms around his waist, trying my best not to look down at the ground.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“Yes Edmund, it’s all I’ve wanted since I met you.”

I slowly saw our spot opened for landing, Edmund swinging his legs around before he had landed.

“What are you doing?” I whispered-yelled into his ear, watching as he was about to jump for a few feet in the air.

“Jumping,” he looked over his shoulder at me, shrugged once before he pushed off, falling to land on the tower of the castle below.

The Gryphon slowly descended to the tower, like it was supposed to, and waited a few minutes for me to get off before I walked over to Edmund, hitting him in the side with the handle of my axe.

“That wasn’t the plan.”

“You weren’t part of the plan either, but here you are,” he gave a sarcastic smile, looking over his shoulder before pulling the flashlight out his pocket.

“Lucy didn’t need me, she told me I was more useful here.”

I was going to actually kill him if he questioned me again in such a way, I was already pissed he tried to make me stay at the How, saying I wasn’t prepared enough for a battle like this.

“Yes, because you look so useful right about now,” Edmund spoke over his shoulder, flashing the light a few times before loud footprints came around our corner. I saw the guard come for the other side, his sword at the ready when he neared us.

Edmund hand was on his sword but I was faster, barely flinching as I took the butt of my axe and ran it into his gut, sending him over the edge of the towers

I raised my eyebrows, my eyes never left Edmund the entire time.

“Not useful?”

Edmund rolled his eyes, both of us moving to look down at the gate that was now slowly opening and the few Narinans that had made it through already.

“We shouldn’t be here,” I spoke under my breath, turning from the scene and slowly pacing the tower around us, looking down the side every few seconds.

“Peter said-“

“Peter said this, Peter said that,” I mocked Edmund, walking to the door and shutting the lock for extra measure.

“Okay what do you think we should have done then?” Edmund turned around, leaning on the stone as he crossed his arms and looked at me.

“We should have been prepared for the real battle, the one that’s going to happen soon. All we’re doing here is losing the troops we needed the most.”

Edmund said nothing for a few moments, watching me as I spun around looking up at the night sky.

“That is why you were in charge of the justice in Narnia and not the battle plans,” Edmund spoke up finally, rolling his eyes at me.

“Oh don’t act like I didn’t cause violence to drop below 1% back then,” I stopped pacing, looking at him with my eyebrow raised.

“Pure lucky.”

I gave up the argument when I heard loud banging on the door I had locked, my hand going to my battle axe immediately.

“Shit,” Edmund pulled at his sword, walking to stand beside me as we watched the wooden door move slightly, their body colliding with it to cause little chips to fall off.

“What happened to ‘nobody will even know we were here’ plan?”

“Shut up.”

The door swung open, the log they had used to split it open fell to the floor as many men decked out in battle armor ran in through the now open door.

“I hope you know how to use that thing properly,” Edmund looked down at my ax that was held tightly in my hands.

“I hope you know how to use that, properly,” I flick the top of his head, letting my hand rest back on the battle axe and holding in higher.

This was war now.

I slashed at each person that ran at us, Edmund taking the right while I took the left. Arrows flew around us and I cursed at the plan going sideways so quickly. A sword almost slashed my breast-plate but I fell. back on to the wall, looking down at a battle of their own raged on.

“I knew this was a bad idea!”

Edmund yelled out, looking over the side at something when a man held his sword over his head and preparing to swing down. I felt around in my pocket, finding a small dagger Lucy had gifted me and threw my arm back as hard as possible. The knife laided in the back of his neck, Edmund spinning around just in time for blood to splash across his face.

“Pay attention idiot!”

“I dropped the light!”

I hurried to his side, looking over the edge at the flashlight that laid helplessly over edge.

“How do you make everything worse?”

“It’s your bad luck,” he swung his feet over the edge and jumped down to the landing. I prepared to do the same when I felt a stabbing pain reib throughout my body. Looking down I spotted the sword lodged under my arm-pit, the blood already staining the chain as a wicked laugh sounded behind me.

My body was numb, falling from the edge to the landing Edmund had fallen on. I was falling, falling, falling.

“Shit, (Y/N).”

I felt my body land on something but my brain was too fuzzy to focus on that, all I could focus on was the blood on my chin and the stab wound in my side. I saw dark hair and even darker eyes lean over me and I knew it was Edmund.

“Bad luck,” I barely got the words out my mouth before I was coughing more blood up.

“No, no. I take it back, you’re fine,” his words were jumbled and I couldn’t really make sense of them but I felt his fingers run over my chain on the side.

“Falling.”

Everything went black after I heard a battle cry fall from Edmund’s lips.

*

I heard ‘shh’ and ‘hand me that’ before I even saw anything. The room felt oddly warm but I couldn’t feel the chain I remember Susan helping me put on.

“(Y/N) is going to be fine.”

“They should’ve been here with Lucy!”

“Stop yelling,” my voice was raw and my eyes were still getting used to the bright fire beside me. I spotted a few faces like Lucy and Caspian before I understood where I was.

“Oh God,” Susan grabbed my arm tiger, helping me come down from the ‘just stabbed’ high I was currently on.

“Did we win?”

Silence followed my question, but it was enough of an answer for me.

“You almost died and you’re worried about winning!”

Edmund leaned over me again but this time I could make out his features that still had stained blood and bruises covering him.

“I don’t like getting stabbed for no reason, so yes,” I slowly sat up, leaning against one of the many broken columns in the How.

“Don’t act smart with me!” Edmund waved his finger in my face, as I owed him an apology for getting stabbed, but I had watched his back and he wasn’t watching mine.

“I’m not acting smart, I am smart,” I winked at Peter but he simply shook his head and left the room with everyone else.

How is everyone mad at me for almost dying?

“You stopped breathing in my arms!”

“Bet you enjoyed it,” my voice was pure venom as I spoke through the pain.

“I wish I did but no! I couldn’t see straight and all I wanted to do was leave my army behind to save you!”

His chest was heaving as he watched me, waiting for answers I didn’t have.

“You should’ve told me he was there,” I couldn’t believe I mustered a whisper.

“You think I don’t know that,” his voice was pure hurt as he watched me carefully move, ready for me to collapse again.

I didn’t have many more words as my body was on fire watching him pace the room and whip the blood from his jawline. I never really saw him like this, so honest and angry.

“I’m not letting anyone stab you again.”

The words weren’t for me to hear, his breath was so light I wondered if he could even hear himself.

“I’d hope so.”

He sat beside me, his body calming down as his hand slowly moved closer to mine. I went to move it out the way but he gripped in tight.

“Let me have this (Y/N), please.”

So I let him hold my limp hand in his sweaty one and I suddenly felt like we had skipped multiple stages of whatever we were, but it felt slightly better than dying and I knew that was the only sign I needed to lean in closer to his touch.

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[angelicyoongie]

Out of the Woods (II)

— pairing: wolf hybrid namjoon x human f!reader — genre: fluff, angst, slight smut — word count: 5.5K — warnings: injury, blood, mentions of past abuse — summary: Promising Jihyo that you were going to stay away from your writing for one weekend had been easy in theory, but much harder to actually do once you reached the little cabin the woods. To make matters worse, the only thing that rivals your inability to keep promises is your terrible luck – and after a particularly bad choice leads you to get lost in the mountains, you suppose that it's only karma that you end up face to face with a wolf that looks ready to rip your throat out.

Part I / II / III

You stare at the hand wrapped tightly around yours as the wolf hybrid leads you down the rest of the slope. You can still feel the imprint of his chest against your back, the lingering heat from his body still wrapped around yours. The ghost of his raspy, smooth voice brushing over your ear, his words branded into your chest.

Please don’t leave me.

You wince with each step, the dull pain in your ankle growing harder to ignore. You can see the muscles in his golden arms tense as your step falters, the wolf hybrid’s grip tightening before you can stumble down the last stretch of the incline. He’s keeping your hand almost at height with his shoulders, making it easier for you to borrow some support as you hobble forward.

You keep yourself focused on his hand, on how his long and slender fingers are enveloping yours. They’re a little rough against your skin, but they’re still pretty. Your cheeks are flushed red as you limp forward, but you blame that on the near death experience you just had – and certainly not on the hybrid’s thumb absentmindedly running over your knuckles every few steps. And it’s definitely not because the man in front of you is completely naked. The close proximity means that the expanse of the hybrid’s broad back fills most of your vision, but you’re not willing to take any chances. His body isn’t there for you to ogle at. So, his hand is a good, safe, place for you eyes to latch on to. The hybrid clearly doesn’t have any qualms about his lack of clothes, and it makes you wonder just how long he’s been out here on his own – how long he’s been alone.

You swallow thickly as the ground underneath your feet begins to flatten out, the strain on your ankle becoming a little less painful. You can probably walk on your own now, but it doesn’t seem like the wolf hybrid has any plans of letting you do that, his fingers wrapping even more firmly around yours as you try to let go of his hand. You see a few faint marks on the inside of his wrist, but the angle his hold your hand makes it too difficult to make anything out. If anything, it’s likely just some scratches from the wilderness. You can’t help but notice that one of his gray ears seem to be permanently turned in your direction, only twitching when you let out little huffs of air.

He hasn’t spoken since he uttered those four words – not since he begged you to stay, and the only thing you could think to do was shakily step out of his embrace and ask him to bring you back down. You can’t stay. You're not quite sure why the realization makes you feel so torn. Sure, the hybrid has taken care of you, but you don’t really know him. Hell, you don’t even know his name. But still, your heart stutters painfully as you remember the desperation in his voice, the subdued whine that escaped his lips as you pulled away. The hybrid had only given you a curt nod in response to your request, his back turned to you and hand outstretched before you could even get a good look on his face.

You sneak a quick peek at his profile as he helps you along the path, your breath getting caught in your throat as you catch a glimpse of his strong jaw and oh no, is that a dimple? The wolf hybrid’s silver ears and messy hair compliments his sunkissed skin beautifully, and there is no doubt in your mind that this man must be stunning. Maybe it’s a good thing you haven’t gotten a good look at his face yet, getting weak in the knees sounds like bad plan when you’re already one foot down. You quickly push the thoughts away, turning your attention back to the forest in front of you. You swear something about it looks a little more familiar than before. You only need to hobble through the forest for another few minutes before you realize why.

The wolf hybrid has lead you straight to the lake you and Jihyo passed two days ago, the exact one you were trying to find when you managed to get lost. The weather might be slightly gloomier today, but it still looks absolutely breathtaking as you draw closer. The tension in your shoulders ease up as you realize just how close you are to the cabin, it probably won’t take much longer than an hour to get back even with your throbbing foot. Which is great, but the release of tension also makes you acutely aware of just how irritated your ankle truly is, and it feels like it might break clean off if you don’t get a break soon.

“Can we, uh, rest for a little while? My foot ..” You trail off uncertainly, watching as the hybrid’s head cocks in your direction. He stops in his tracks, ears swivelling around rapidly as he listens to the forest, his grip still tight around yours. He gives you another nod after a few seconds of silence, steering you carefully over to a fallen log. You close your eyes in relief as you sit down, a groan falling from your lips as you finally get the chance to alleviate the pressure on your ankle.

“Thank you,” You murmur, glancing down at your foot as you try to best position to rest it in. You freeze as you see the wolf hybrid’s bare feet out of the corner of your eye, heat creeping up your neck as you realize the position you’ve put yourself in. You’re at eye-level with his dick. There’s no way to look up at him without seeing it, and that’s not something you want to deal with right now.

“Here," You hastily shrug off your windbreaker, offering it out for the hybrid with a grimace, “you can use it to cover up.” Rough fingers brush over your own as the wolf hybrid grabs your jacket, presumably–hopefully–wrapping it around his waist as you keep your eyes firmly on the ground. You don’t dare lift your gaze until the hybrid sinks down on the log next to you with a huff, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest as you find his eyes already locked onto your face. 

The wolf hybrid is beautiful. Your lips part open in surprise as you take in his face, the slight pout to his lips and the gentleness in his expression leaving you a little breathless. He looks kind. Sweet. You don’t understand how someone like him could be left out here all alone.

“I-I'm sorry,” The wolf hybrid cowers under your stunned gaze, his ears falling flat against his head. “Should I stay .. wolf? You upset,” His voice is hoarse and pained as he stutters out his words, his lips forming awkwardly around the syllables. The intention behind his words hits you like a slap to the face. He thinks you don’t like his human form, and he’s willing to turn back to not make you upset.

“No!” You blurt, “I mean, I’m uh, not upset. If you want to, please stay in your human form. It’s nice to be able to talk to you.” The wolf hybrid doesn’t quite seem to believe you, his ears pressing even flatter against his head as he shakes his head.

“What’s your name?” 

The hybrid's mouth is pressed into a thin line, and for a second you think he might not answer, but then he mutters out a soft, “Namjoon.”

“Namjoon?” You echo, finding you like the way his name rolls off your tongue. The wolf hybrid’s ears perk up at the sound of his name, the bushy tail behind his back doing a startled wag as Namjoon’s eyes find yours. You give him a soft smile, rubbing your hands nervously at your thighs as you finally ask the question that has been burning away at your curiosity for the past few hours.

“Why are you out here all alone?” The muscles in Namjoon's shoulders tense at your question, the warmth in his golden brown eyes hardening into something you can’t quite decipher. The wolf hybrid looks ready to bolt any second, his eyes flickering around the forest as he says, “Ran way .. bad place. No going back.”

You detest that you’re not even surprised, that the mistreatment of hybrids is so common that it has become almost more normal than treating them like actual human beings. The wolf hybrid looks to be your age, maybe even a little older, and it makes your stomach drop to think about just how many years he must’ve spent out here in his animal form for speech to become this hard – for it to become a struggle.

“I’m so sorry Namjoon, it must’ve been hard being all alone up here,” Your fingers twitch against your thigh, resisting the urge to reach out for him.

“Not alone now, have you,” Namjoon’s raspy voice sends a shiver down your spine, the certainty laced with his next word making your heart skip a beat. “Pack.” The wolf hybrid carefully reaches out for your hand, slowly wrapping his fingers around yours as he watches your mind trying to process his words.

You know it normally takes a long time for a hybrid to consider someone, especially humans, to be a part of their pack, so the fact that Namjoon refers to you as his after only a few days leaves you stunned – and a little bit out of your depth. Then again, Namjoon’s situation isn’t exactly normal. Usually hybrids are much more in-tune with both their human and animal side, but from what you can gather, it doesn’t seem like Namjoon has tapped into his humanity in years. It would make sense for his animal instincts to be more dominant, for doubt and hesitation to take a backseat. But still, his pack?

You catch the slight motion as the wolf hybrid’s eyes stray to your neck, the memory hitting you at full force now that you realize the implications behind your actions. In the midst of your panic when you thought Namjoon was going to tear you limb from limb, you had bared you neck. You had submitted. And Namjoon had accepted you. You wince, sucking in a deep breath as unease swirls in your stomach. Even if you weren’t aware of what you were doing at the time, this is still your fault. You really want to fix this whole mess, but you fear that the one thing you can’t do for him, is the only thing the hybrid wants.

“Namjoon,” You hesitate as you feel his tail wag happily against the log, the words feeling heavy on your tongue as you say, “I can’t stay.” A lull falls over the forest as the rhythmic thumping stops, the grip around your hand slackening as the wolf hybrid hangs his head.

He keeps his eyes on the ground as he whispers out a broken, “Don’t go.” You feel your heart ache as you watch him open and close his mouth, the furrow between his brows deepening as he can’t seem to find the words he needs. “Take care of you. Please.” You think it might hurt less if you just let the wolf hybrid rip you to shreds instead, the pained desperation in his voice making you eyes sting.

“I’m sorry,” You mutter, “I need to go home.” The word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Home. At the start of your trip you couldn’t wait to return to your apartment, but when you really think about it, have you ever truly considered it home? Sure, you've managed to make it nice and cozy over the last years, but there’s no warmth there, no sense of belonging. Still – you can’t stay here in the mountains.

Namjoon’s ears are pressed flat against his head, his expression turning blank as he withdraws his hand. “Okay,” The wolf hybrid’s jaw is tense as he stares out at the lake, his gaze empty and distant. You ignore the throbbing in your foot as you clamber back up to your feet, taking a few steps forward as you take in the sight of the lake for the last time. The scattered wildflowers don’t seem as charming anymore, and the large body of water suddenly feels more imposing than welcoming. You freeze as Namjoon lets out a low groan, the sound suddenly transforming into a whimper behind your back. You nearly jolt out of your skin as something wet touches your hand, a warm breath spilling across your fingers as you look down. You meet Namjoon’s golden eyes, the wolf letting out a small huff before he nudges your windbreaker closer to your feet. You don’t know why it feels like a defeat that he transformed back, but you can’t shake the hollow feeling in your chest as you thread your fingers into his fur, jacket wrapped around your waist as he leads you back to the cabin.

The wolf’s ears starts to flicker a few minutes before you can pick up Jihyo’s frantic speech in the distance, the dark roof of the cabin coming into view. You’re a little off the trail, the forest much denser around this side of the clearing. Namjoon suddenly halts as he reaches the edge, and you wince from the extra force on your foot as you stumble to catch yourself. The wolf’s tail is tucked between his legs, a pitiful whimper filling the silence as you gently untangle your hand from his fur. You brush it down carefully, already missing the coarse yet soft hairs tickling against your skin as you take a step back.

“Thank you Namjoon,” You swallow around the lump in your throat, forcing your lips into a soft smile as you gaze down at him. The wolf turns his head back to the forest, golden eyes scanning the area before he quickly pushes his head against your hand, guiding your palm over the fur between his ears. Your knees go weak with fondness as you pat his head, the wolf swiping his tongue over the exposed skin of your wrist as you scratch behind his ears. It’s Namjoon that reluctantly pulls away first, his golden eyes soft yet sad as he pushes his snout one last time against your palm. He sits down with a huff, turning his head in the direction of the cabin. The message is clear; he’s not leaving until you are. The goodbye grows and dies in your mouth, your lips refusing to let it slip past as you look down at him. You spare him one last glance, trying to commit as much of him to memory as you can, before you stumble out of the tree line.

It only takes a few steps before you hear Jihyo’s shrill, “Y/n!” and you watch as your friend sprints across the field to meet you. Jihyo knocks into you so hard you nearly topple over, her arms wrapped around your body so tightly you almost fear she’ll squeeze you to death.

“Where were you? What happened? Oh my god, you’re hurt!–” You let Jihyo’s concerned rambling distract you from the empty feeling in your stomach, each step feeling heavier than the last as she helps you walk back to the cabin. You spare one last glance over your shoulder, hoping to maybe see a flash of silver through the trees, but there’s nothing.

Namjoon is gone.

And you’re both alone again.

It was all a rush after you returned. Jihyo had been searching for you night and day, a few of her father’s best employees helping out. The road up to the cabin had been cleared, so instead of having to trek down on your sprained ankle, Jihyo had whisked you away in a car with the destination set for the closest hospital. It took a while before you could collect your thoughts enough to tell her what happened, the words sounding ridiculous even to your own ears as you retold the story.

Jihyo had a deep frown on her face from the hospital to your apartment, uncharacteristically silent as she helped you to your couch. Sinking down on the mountain of plush pillows felt like heaven after sleeping on the ground for two nights, your limbs tired and aching. You really need a shower, but the temptation to rest your foot for an hour is frankly too strong. You watch as Jihyo raids your fridge for drinks and food, the frown not leaving her lips until you’ve stuffed your face with a sandwich.

“Why didn’t you just ask him to come with you?” You nearly choke on a piece of bread at her sudden question, quickly taking a sip of water to chase it down.

“What do you mean?” You croak.

“Well, it’s not like he specifically asked you to stay up in the mountains right? He only asked that you would stay with him. I’m not sure how much I like this, but he did take care of you, and he brought you back safely. If he wanted to hurt you he had many opportunities to do so,” Jihyo purses her lips, her eyes flickering around the room. 

"You seem .. smitten. I can remember the last time you looked so fond talking about someone else. It seems like he already considers you to be his pack, so if you want to, I don’t see any harm in asking him to come home with you,” You feel a steady blush rise in your cheeks as Jihyo talks, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of having Namjoon here in your apartment. You couldn’t ..

"It’s not natural or healthy for hybrids to be alone and shifted for such a long time, so you would honestly be doing him a favour. Even if he doesn’t stay with you, he needs to get checked-up.” You find yourself nodding along to Jihyo’s words before you can stop yourself, her eyebrows rising in amusement. She is right, after all. Even if Namjoon doesn’t want to stay, it’s important to make sure he’s healthy. Even you go in for yearly check-ups, and you’re sure it’s been far too long since Namjoon did the same. You have to go back and find him.

“But–” Jihyo presses a finger to your chest, “you’re not going anywhere yet. The doctor said full rest for a week, so that’s what you’re going to do.” She shakes her head before you can protest, giving you a stern look as she says, “You’re in no condition to go after him now, you need to heal up if you want to find him again. I’ve seen enough animal planet to know that wolves have pretty big territories, and you won’t be able to cover that much ground with a sprained ankle.” You sink back down in the couch with a disgruntled sound, hating the fact that she’s completely right. You’ll have to wait until you’ve healed. You just hope it won’t be too late.

“Namjoon?” You wince at the rawness in your throat, your voice ringing through the silent forest. You’ve been out here for hours, but no matter where you go, there’s no sign of the wolf hybrid. You even managed to get back to the little cave Namjoon had brought you to, but that too was completely untouched. The only trail you had is dead. The area you’ve ventured into is much denser and harder to navigate, but you refuse to leave until you find him.

You grumble under your breath as a branch almost whacks you straight in the face, and you push it away with a little more force than necessary as you trek on deeper into the woods. Your ankle has healed up nicely, but there’s still a dull ache from the amount of walking you’re putting yourself through. The sprain wasn’t all that bad; it was mostly just the fact that you kept aggravating it that made it so painful. A week of rest did you wonders, and a little bit of discomfort is a price you’re more than willing to pay if it means you’ll find Namjoon again.

“Namjoon?” You call out again, halting in your tracks as you strain to listen for any sounds out of the ordinary. You let out a sigh at the silence that greets you, shaking your head lightly as you take a step forward. You freeze as your foot connect with the ground, a distant howl echoing through the forest. Namjoon.

You can barely even hear the second howl over the frantic beat of your own heart as you take off, stumbling and tripping over roots and twigs as you run in what you hope is the right direction. The mountain is disorienting at best, but you have no fear of getting lost this time. Jihyo made sure you would be properly prepared. 

It’s not until the fourth howl that you realize two things – one, the sound is much closer than you anticipated, and two, it sounds pained. You urge your legs to move faster, your gaze shifting wildly over your surroundings as you call out for him again. You swear you see a flash of silver behind a cluster of trees, and you quickly switch your direction, running straight for what you hope is the wolf hybrid.

“Namjo–” You choke as you skid to a stop, your stomach dropping so fast it leaves you feeling dizzy.

Blood. There’s so much blood. Namjoon’s gray fur is stained with it, the hairs matted and red. You can see the rusted metal of an old bear trap clamped tightly around one of his hind legs, the bone snapped in an awkward angle. Oh god. A pained whine rips you out of your building panic, and the sight of the wolf hybrid attempting to drag himself closer to you despite the trap on his leg finally jolts you back into action.

“No no no, stay still!” You cry as you scramble forward, your stomach doing a dangerous flip as the metallic scent of Namjoon’s blood washes over you. The wolf hybrid is panting as you drop to your knees in front of him, his ears plastered against his skull as he lets out low whimper.

“It-it’s going to be okay,” You hear your voice tremble as you reach out for his head, gently cupping his cheeks between your hands. Namjoon lets the tension in his neck drop the moment you get your hands on him, his head heavy in your hold as you run your fingers over his fur. The wolf hybrid’s body is shaking, his golden eyes barely open as he lets out another whine. You have no idea how many hours he’s been like this, but it’s been too long. He's lost way too much blood.

“You’re going to be fine Namjoon,” You swallow down the bile in your throat as you shuffle around, shifting your hold to gently place his head in your lap. He immediately tries to shuffle closer, not giving up until he’s plastered against your stomach.

“Just, don’t shift, okay? Please don’t shift,” You hastily dig your burrowed phone out of your pocket, vision blurry as you type in Jihyo’s number. Seeing Namjoon’s human form might make it easier to gauge his injuries, but if he shifts while he’s still trapped, you have no doubt it’s just going to tear his leg up even more. 

He lets out a whine as you hands leave his fur, his eyes almost rolled back into his head from the pain. The leg that’s trapped doesn’t even twitch, and Namjoon’s body feels horribly cold as you hurry to run your hands over his fur.

“Y/n? Did you find him?” Jihyo’s voice has never sounded more angelic than when she picks up the phone, you body sagging with relief.

“You can track my location, right? It’s Namjoon–” You force down the sob bubbling in your throat as the wolf hybrid whimpers at the sound of his name, the sound soft and weak. “–he’s hurt.”

“Excuse me,” You whip your head up at the sound of someone clearing their throat, a rather frazzled nurse standing in front you. “Are you here with the wolf hybrid? Kim Namjoon?”

“I am. Is something wrong?” You push out of the plastic chair with a wince, ignoring the queasy feeling in your stomach. It’s been hours since you arrived at the hospital, but the image of Namjoon’s blood pooling around his body doesn’t seem to want to let go of you just yet.

“He’s–" The nurse let out a deep sigh, “I think you need to come with me.” She turns on her heel, motioning for you to follow without another word. Oh god, what if he’s dead? The wolf hybrid had been rushed into an emergency operation immediately upon arrival, so there wasn’t much else that you could do than wait. Hope that he would be okay. 

You hurry after the nurse, nearly tripping over your own feet at quick speed she keeps as she marches down the hall. You’ve barely managed to catch up when she halts outside a door, an exasperated expression on her face as she says, “We’re keeping him under observation for now and he’s not really supposed to have any visitors yet, but he’s being … difficult.” You jump as something clatters to the ground inside the room, the deep growl hardly even muffled by the closed door.

“He’s a still a little out of it, but not dangerous. You’ll see what I mean,” With that, the nurse pushes the door open, stepping aside to allow you entry into Namjoon’s room. You suck in a breath as you step inside, the floor littered with scattered papers and trays. Namjoon is perched up in bed, a heavy cast around his leg. Whatever they were trying to do, the wolf hybrid obviously wasn’t having it. He’s twisted towards the doctor by his side, the man keeping a good distance from the injured hybrid as he let out another harsh growl. You stare in shock as Namjoon bares his teeth, his posture rigid and tense as he eyes the doctor distrustfully. The doctor notices you before Namjoon does, a soft 'thank god' muttered under his breath as he waves for you to come closer.

“Hey Namjoon,” The wolf hybrids nose wrinkles just as your soft voice carries across the room, his ears springing up on his head as he shifts his attention to you.

“Y/n,” Namjoon’s eyes light up as he catches sight of you, his hands practically tearing up the bed sheets as he tries to untangle himself. The action feels awfully familiar to when he tried to drag himself closer despite the bear trap, and you have no intention of watching him trying to walk on his broken leg.

“I thought I told you to stop moving,” You rush forward before he can get himself fully out of bed, pushing him back with a firm shove to his chest. Namjoon falls back without protest, his wide eyes scanning over your face as a loopy smile blooms on his lips.

“Sorry,” He rasps as he engulfs your hand with his, keeping it tucked securely against his body. You can feel the steady thrum of his heart against your palm, beating in rhythm with the soft beeps from the monitor he’s hooked up to.

“We were trying to explain to Mr. Kim that we need to do some tests, but he doesn’t quite seem to share the same sentiment,” The doctor glances back towards the door as a the nurse brings in a new tray of equipment, a weary frown on his face as he picks up a shot. The growl builds in Namjoon’s throat so fast you nearly jump out of your skin, the hold he has around your hand feels like he’s two seconds away from snapping it in half.

“It’s okay, it’s just some standard shots,” You hesitantly bring your hand up to his face, slowly turning his head back in your direction.

“You haven’t had check-ups in a while right?” The wolf hybrid shakes his head, his ears twitching as his attention flickers back and fourth between you and the doctor. “It’s just to make sure you stay healthy.” Namjoon nuzzles against your hand with a soft whimper as you run your thumb along his cheek.

“Makes me feel .. bad. Sleepy,” Namjoon’s speech seems to flow a little easier than it did a week ago, but the struggle to find the right words is still there, his brows furrowing in concentration as he whispers, "Don’t like it.”

You swallow thickly, your stomach in knots as you ask, “Did your owner give you those? The shots that made you sleepy?” The wolf hybrid makes a low sound of agreement, his ears turning back. The marks on his wrist you couldn’t figure out, they’re needle marks. You’ve heard of it before, how some owners would drug their more exotic hybrids to keep them calm and docile – to silence the part of their genetics that make them so unique. You glance down at Namjoon, the wolf hybrid staring up at you with so much vulnerability and trust that the thought of someone taking advantage of that it makes you feel ill.

“These won’t make you feel that way, I promise.” You muster up the warmest smile you can manage as you peek over at the doctor, a silent plea in your eyes.

“Oh! Don’t worry Mr. Kim, there are no side effects to these shots. You’ll hardly even notice it,” The doctor quickly adds as he takes a careful step forward. Namjoon lets out a slow breath, golden eyes finding yours and his tail draping across his lap as he grumbles out a hesitant “Okay.”

“–All done!” You can see the doctor’s shoulders visibly drop as he finally gets the chance to move back, obviously relieved to put some distance between himself and Namjoon. “I’ll be back later to check on your leg and make sure everything is okay.” The sour expression on Namjoon’s face softens as the doctor hurries out the door, the grip around your hand loosening slightly as it clicks shut behind him.

“May I speak with you outside alone for a minute, miss?” You look up at the nurse as she finishes placing a band-aid on Namjoon’s arm, the empty shots rolling around in the tray as she picks it up.

“Oh, sure,” Namjoon lets out a whine as you try to step away, lips formed into a soft pout as you gently extract your hand from his grip. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back,” You give his shoulder a squeeze before you follow the nurse out, shooting Namjoon what you hope is a comforting smile over your shoulder. The wolf hybrid keeps his eyes trained on you as you leave, his distressed gaze still burning into your back as you close the door behind you. You only take a few steps down the hall before the nurse turns to face you, her expression troubled as she looks you up and down, “I take it he’s not your hybrid?”

“No, he’s not,” You quickly shake your head. “I came across him up in the mountains. He said he ran away from his old owner, and that it was a ‘bad place’. I’m pretty sure it must’ve been a couple of years at least,” You wince. The nurse nods, her gaze shifting around the busy hallway as she thinks.

“I’ll have someone look into it. We need to settle his hospital bills, and only his legal owner can do that.” She must see the way your face drops, because she quickly adds, “I could tell from his old scars that he’s likely been abused. Even if we find his owner, they’re not going to be allowed to take him home. It’ll be looked into.”

“Right, thanks.” You muster up a weak smile. You know how these things go. Even if there’s an investigation, the police are too easy to buy off. There are frankly too many cases like Namjoon’s, and too few cops that actually treat their abuse seriously.

“Can I stay with him until his owner shows up?”

“It’s a little unorthodox, but yes, you can. I don’t think he’ll actually stay inside his room if you don’t.” The nurse lets out a huff, a flash of amusement in her eyes as she waves for you to go back inside. “I’ll let you know once we figure it out, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“Thank you.”

Turning to face Namjoon’s door, you try to shake off the anxious feeling festering in your stomach. You’re not going to let him go back to his old owner. You’re honestly not even sure how you’ve managed to grow attached so quickly, but there’s just something about the wolf hybrid that makes you ready to fight tooth and nail for his safety and happiness – even if it means he won’t find it with you.

a/n: ahah heyy ... let's just ignore that it took me two months to update this, okay? thank you aksjsk. i decided to split the last part into two, to give myself more time to write a little bit of extra fluff (and smut)! so the third and final part is hopefully coming next week, but if not, it will at least be posted by the end of november. namjoon's speech will get better in the next part and we will learn more about him + his and y/n's relationship will grow! if you like the story then please drop me a reblog/comment, that would mean the world to me! (ps. this story has no tag list!)

as always, see you all soon and stay safe! <3 and in case you enjoy my stories and want to buy me a coffee, you can do so here! 💖

[dccomicsimagines]

Study Help - Tim Drake x Reader - Part Two

Warning - Adult Content Ahead -NSFW

Part One

Requested by @sannevd5​ - Can there be a Study Help Tim Drake x Reader part 2 where they get revenge on Damian

***

You glanced over at Tim who was fast asleep in the passenger seat. Your hands gripped the steering wheel and you focused on the road. You widened your eyes to keep them open. Exhaustion weighed on you. Finally, the manor came into view. “We’re here,” you whispered, nudging Tim with your elbow.

Tim jerked awake. “What? Is it the baby?” He glanced around in a panic, wiping the drool off his chin. You snorted and peeked back at the sleeping baby in the backseat. 

“He’s fine, Timmy. Sleeping like his daddy.” You laughed. Baby Jack was fast asleep, probably tired from crying the night away last night.

“Are you okay?” Tim said, touching your arm. He had that protective look on his face again. 

“I’m fine.” You smiled at him and opened your window to type in the code once you pulled up to the gate. “You were the one who was up with Jack all night.”

Tim rubbed his eyes. “I was up anyway though, and you didn’t actually sleep, you were with me the whole time.” 

You shrugged, pulling up the driveway once the gate opened. “Still, I’m fine, Tim.” Tim squeezed your hand tightly. You wondered if he would ever stop being overprotective of you. Apparently, being kidnapped by Ra’s al Ghul for two months during your pregnancy was enough to keep Tim on edge permanently. You parked the car. 

Tim rushed out of the car and ran to your side to open the door. You smiled, rolling your eyes. “What? It’s the least I could do since you drove,” Tim said. You opened the back door to gather up Jack while Tim grabbed the bags. 

“Master Tim, Miss (Y/N), welcome.” Alfred opened the front door.

“Hello, Alfred.” You hurried up the stairs and hugged him with one arm. Jack was smashed between you, but he didn’t even stir. 

Alfred laughed, hugging you back before pulling away to get a good look at Jack. “Well, look at Master Jack. He’s grown so much.” 

“Well, it’s been one month,” you said, handing Jack over to Alfred. “He was up all night like he is every night, so he’s sleeping like a log.” 

Tim struggled with the bags. You turned to help him. “Oh, so it looks like Master Jack is a night owl like the rest of the family.” Alfred beamed, looking very much like a proud grandfather. 

“Unfortunately, he got that from Tim.” You and Tim headed inside. 

“Har, har.” Tim kissed your cheek. “I’ll run our bags to our room.” You and Tim were staying for the weekend at Bruce’s insistence. 

“Where’s everyone?” You closed the door once Alfred was in. He rocked Jack, who was kicking one foot in his sleep. 

Alfred hummed. “Master Bruce is downstairs.” You smiled, knowing Alfred meant he was in the Batcave. “Master Damian and his friend are in his room.”

You froze. “His friend?” You smirked. “Is this the one who we think they are dating, but Damian keeps denying it?” 

“Yes.” Alfred shook his head. He wrinkled his nose and shifted Jack in his arms. “It feels like Master Jack needs a changing.” 

“Oh, I’ll do it.” You took Jack back, realizing Tim took the diaper bag upstairs with him. “I’ll be back, Alfred.” You headed up the stairs. Outside of Damian’s door, you paused. You swore you heard the moans inside. Glee filled you. Was this the time? Would you finally get your revenge?

You hurried to the bedroom. Tim looked up as you entered, confused by the grin on your face. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” You handed Jack to Tim. “Change him for me and meet me in Damian’s room.” 

“Why?” Tim frowned. “(Y/N), are you planning something?”

“Timmy, there comes a time where opportunity rings and we have to answer.” You kissed his lips passionately before pulling away. 

“(Y/N).” Tim gasped, glancing down at Jack who woke up fussing. 

You grinned at him. “Just meet me there in a few minutes.” You left the room and hurried back down to Damian’s room. The moans were still there, louder and more intense than before. You smirked, knocking on the door. “Damian, I just wanted to say hi.” 

You opened the door without warning. A laugh threatened to escape you, but you swallowed it to play this straight. Damian and his friend flipped around under the covers in a similar way Tim always did when Damian interrupted you. The shoe really was on the other foot.

“Oh, you must be Damian’s friend. I heard so much about you.” You came over to stand next to the bed. The friend’s face was flushed and they hid their face under the covers. “A little shy? That’s okay. I’m Damian’s sister-in-law.” You grinned at Damian who was death glaring at you. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N) Drake.” 

“We were busy.” Damian snarled. 

“Were you?” You blinked innocently, but you could see Damian’s eyes flash. He didn’t buy it and knew exactly what you were doing. 

Tim wandered inside, eyes widening when he took in Damian and his friend in the bed with you standing beside him. Jack gurgled in his arms.  “(Y/N), did you just...” 

“Hi baby.” You took Jack from Tim, ignoring Tim’s protest. Kissing the top of Jack’s head, you glanced between Damian and his friend. “You two should be careful, having fun has consequences.” A dangerous smirk came to your lips. “You might get kidnapped by Ra’s or...” You glanced down at Jack. 

Damian lunged for you, but Tim stepped in front of you and quickly ushered you out of the room. “Okay, enough now. It was nice meeting you,” Tim said, blushing redder than his Red Robin suit. He pulled you back to his old bedroom. “What the hell was that about, (Y/N)?”

You laughed, sitting down on the bed with Jack nuzzling against your chest. “Revenge is sweet, Timmy. So sweet.” 

“Revenge? What kind of revenge involves walking in on Damian while he and his friend...” Tim choked, traumatized. 

“Oh stop it. You didn’t see anything.” You closed your eyes and rested your head against the headboard. “He interrupted us so many times. Using Bruce, Dick, Steph, even Jason to ruin our moments. It was only fair I would do it to him.” 

Tim took a breath. You opened your eyes to see him struggling not to laugh. “Still, now he’s probably going to stab you.” 

You smiled. “He wouldn’t dare with you around.” Tim’s shoulders straightened as you stoked his ego. He came around the bed and crawled in next to you. You leaned into him, ignoring Jack’s drool soaking into your shirt. 

Your eyes grew heavy. “Take a nap. You need your rest,” Tim whispered in your ear. His arm cradled yours to support Jack as you fell fast asleep.

***

“Look how much he’s grown,” Bruce said. You handed Jack off to him before taking a seat at the dining room table.

“I know. Sometimes it’s like he grows an inch every day.” You smiled when Tim came over to pour your drink. Alfred came out of the kitchen with dinner.

Bruce rocked Jack. Jack gurgled at him, waving his arm around wildly. Damian stalked into the room. His glare darker than death. You just smiled sweetly at him. 

“Master Damian, where is your friend? Are they not joining us?” Alfred asked.

“No, they went home. They couldn’t face this monstrosity again.” He pointed at you. 

Tim tensed, setting down the pitcher and leaning in front of you. You wanted to laugh, but you held it in. It would just set Damian off and Tim would have to defend you. 

“Damian,” Bruce snapped sharply, narrowing his eyes at his son. “That is uncalled for.”

“Uncalled for?!” Damian threw his arms up in the air. “That harlot ruined...” He stopped, blushing slightly when he realized what he was about to admit. A snicker escaped you. Damian’s eyes flashed and he lunged for you. Tim blocked him, pushing him back.

“Knock it off, Damian. It’s not like you haven’t done it to us.” Tim’s shoulders straightened into a defensive pose. “And that’s my wife you’re talking about. Don’t ever call her that again.” 

You got to your feet to take Jack back from Bruce when he started to fuss at the raised voices. “I think someone’s hungry. I’ll go feed him. You can start dinner without me,” you said calmly and quickly leaving the room. Tim was right behind you.

Entering the kitchen, you fed Jack, sitting at one of the stools by the counter. Tim hovered in full overprotective mode. “I told you he would explode like that.” 

“Of course, he doesn’t like it when others get revenge on him,” you said, smiling down at Jack as he ate. “He’s always been entitled.” 

Tim hummed in agreement. He sat on the stool next to you. A soft chuckle escaped his lips. “Can you believe he almost admitted to having sex in front of Bruce and Alfred?” 

“I know.” You laughed. “I almost lost it there, but I knew he would just go off the deep end.” 

Alfred came into the kitchen with two full plates. “I figured you two should eat while it’s hot. Besides, I think some distance would be good.” He set them on the counter. 

“I’m sorry for causing trouble, Alfred.” You looked at him with genuine apology.

“It is alright, Miss (Y/N). After all, he did ask for it.” Alfred smiled somewhat mischievously before leaving.  

“I think you are Alfred’s favorite.” Tim took a bite of his food first. He moaned before feeding you a bite. 

The food melted in your mouth. “Maybe or he’s just happy we stopped Damian from having unprotected sex.” 

Tim almost spit out his food. “How did you know that?”

“Please. There’s a reason they went really red when I mentioned consequences.” You ate with your free hand since Tim was still in a state of shock. “It’s not like anyone gave him the sex talk. I mean you knew nothing.” 

Tim blushed. “True.” He cleared his throat. “But you knew.”

“Also true, but that doesn’t mean that Damian’s friend knows.” You put Jack to your shoulder to burp him. He spit up a little. You wrinkled your nose when you felt it slide down your back. “Tim, if you could grab a napkin please.”

Tim blinked. “Oh.” He grabbed a napkin and stood to clean up your back as Jack started to fuss. You bounced him, calming him down. Tim sat back down and went back to eating.

“You know, there is another way we could add to our revenge.” You smirked and kissed Jack’s head. “Can we call Dick after dinner?”

Tim’s jaw dropped. “Now that’s too mean.” Tim shook his head. “We couldn’t. Damian would really stab you after that.” 

You shrugged. “He can try.” You got to your feet to walk Jack around the kitchen so he would fall back to sleep. “Besides, this is a good thing. We don’t need Damian to get into the kind of trouble we got into.”

“The trouble you’re currently holding?” Tim took the last bite of his food. He got up and offered to take Jack from you. “Go back to eating, sweetheart.”

You smiled, kissing Tim’s cheek. “I love you.” Jack went over to his father calmly and you sat down to eat your cool food. You watched Tim walk around with his son. Your heart melted into a pile of goo and you couldn’t imagine loving them both more.

***

“What are you doing up?” Bruce asked, poking his head into the den. You flinched in surprise, causing Jack to start screaming again. 

“Oh, my son’s colic triggered again.” You got up to walk him around the room with your eyes closed. Bruce’s presence stayed by the door as you walked the path you memorized hours before. 

“Tim should be up in a few minutes.” Bruce’s warm, strong hand rested on your shoulder, stopping you. “Go to bed, I’ll take care of Jack.” 

Your eyes snapped open and you spun to look at Bruce in compete shock. “What? You’ll take care of Jack?”

Bruce chuckled. “I do know how to take care of a baby. Besides, at this point, I wouldn’t be able to sleep worrying about you walking around with your eyes closed.”

“I guess I am pretty tired.” You handed Jack over, but you couldn’t leave the room. “Am I a bad parent? I can’t leave him.”

“No, you’re not, but it’s okay to accept help once and a while. He’ll be safe with me and I promise if I need anything, I’ll get Alfred.” Bruce pushed you toward the door where Tim stood watching the exchange with the same surprise you had moments before. “Tim, take her to bed before she falls down.” 

You stared back at Jack as Tim wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you out of the room. “He’ll be fine. Come on,” Tim whispered in your ear. 

“Okay, okay.” Tears filled your eyes. “I’m a bad parent, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re not.” Tim squeezed your hip. “But you need a break. We both need a break.” Tim kissed your cheek. You stumbled on the stairs, but Tim caught you and scooped you up into his arms. “Woah, there.” Your head fell limply on Tim’s shoulder.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, opening your eyes to see Damian watching you and Tim from the bottom of the stairs. His expression bewildered and confused. “Hi, Damian. How was patrol?” 

Tim tensed, turning around to face Damian himself. You had to roll your head to keep him in your eyesight. “TT.” He frowned at you and Tim.

“Sorry about embarrassing your friend, Damian, but it was nice for the shoe to be on the other foot for once,” you mumbled.

“Hush.” Tim bounced you slightly in his arms. “Don’t piss him off now.” 

“He won’t get mad. I apologized.” You waved at Damian, focusing on Tim. “Can we go back to Jack now? I’m a bad parent for leaving him.” 

Tim sighed. “No, we’re going to bed, sweetheart. You’re not thinking straight.” Tim turned to head up the stairs with you. Damian watched the two of you go with a blank expression. 

You let your head rest on Tim’s shoulder as he bumped the bedroom door open with his hip. He laid you down on the bed. You melted into it. “Tim, why can’t we have fun anymore?” 

“We have fun.” Tim kissed your forehead. You sighed, hearing him pull away to move around the room. 

“No, we don’t. We just sleep all the time and take care of Jack.” You kept your eyes closed. Your body limp as Tim crawled into bed next to you and pulled you into his arms.

Tim kissed the corner of your mouth. “We will someday. This is just one of the hard parts, but that’s why we came to the manor, so we can get some help.”

You opened your eyes to look at him. “Wait, I thought Bruce invited us over?”

“He did after I asked for help.” Tim tightened his arms around you. “I’m worried about you. You’re a great mother and you give it your all, but you’re so tired.” He kissed your nose. “We need some rest.”

“You always need rest,” you said, closing your eyes and sighing in relief. Tim was right, you weren’t a failure as a parent. You just needed help and a break.

Tim chuckled. “True. Good night, sweetheart.” 

You hummed, feeling yourself slipping into the nothingness of sleep. “Love you.”

“I love you too.” You almost didn’t hear him as you let yourself relax for the first time in a long time.

***

Sun blinded you, pulling you from the deep, dreamless sleep. You opened your eyes to find yourself still in Tim’s old bedroom at the manor. Tim was spooned into your back. You smiled when you felt a certain part of him poking you from behind. 

“Tim.” You turned in his arms to face him. He opened his eyes, yawning.

“Morning, beautiful.” He kissed your lips. You slid your hand down his chest and under the waistband of his boxers. Tim jumped, blushing. “What?” 

“You really can’t tell. You were poking me.” A smirk pulled at your lips when Tim moaned at your touch.

“Well, I was having a good dream.” Tim closed his eyes, shivering. “You and I were at that hotel in Vegas, and you were in that outfit with the littlest...”

Cutting him off with a kiss, your thumb circled his tip and made him tremble. “Let me take care of you,” you whispered softly. 

“I should be taking care of you.” Tim cleared his throat. “We haven’t since Jack was born.” Tim’s hand slipped under your shirt, but you grabbed his wrist with your free hand.

“I’m not ready for that.” You looked him in the eye. “Not all the way.” 

Tim leaned forward to kiss your lips, rubbing his foot against yours. “How about we just touch? Like you’re doing to me now.” You traced a vein on his cock. Tim shivered. His hand flexed against your bare stomach. Your face burned, thinking of the baby weight you still carried. 

“Fine. Only touch.” You leaned over to bury your face into his neck. Your hand let go of Tim’s wrist to allowed his hand to find his way up your chest. His other hand played with the waistband of your pajamas, tugging them down. 

His long, strong fingers found your clit. You hissed and tightened your hand around Tim. Tim choked. “Careful, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay. I won’t break your T-Rex.” You giggled breathlessly. Tim’s fingers were rough with calluses, the friction making your body tense, skin tingle. You stroked his cock with just your fingertips. 

Tim panted. You gripped him and slid your hand up and down the length of him. Tim’s fingers stopped playing with you. “You’re distracting me.” 

“Right.” You kissed his jawline, working him harder than before. Tim tensed. “Are you close, sweetheart?” 

“I am.” Tim choked, looking you in the eye. 

“Then let go.” You smiled at him sweetly and sealed a kiss to his lips. Tim shivered and spilled into your hand. Most of the mess was caught inside his boxers. You pulled your hand out, wiping your hand on his boxers.

Tim closed his eyes, panting against your lips as you kissed the corner of his mouth. His fingers circled your clit again. You gasped. “Now I take care of you.” Tim whispered, one hand went under your shirt again and cupped your breast.

You relaxed. Your skin tingled again, feeling the flutter of your heart as Tim squeezed your breast gently. His lips tickled your skin, kissing down your neck. “It’s only fair that I leave you a mess too.” 

You wrinkled your nose, giggling as your body tensed. One of Tim’s thin fingers entered you. You jumped in surprise. “Oh.” Your hand rested on his wrist. “Careful.”

“I’m careful.” Tim hummed. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

“It’s okay.” You closed your eyes, taking a slow breath. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. More than anything.” Tim’s head went under your shirt to kiss his way up your stomach. You rested your hands on his shoulders. 

You felt that familiar tension building up inside of you. Your nails dug into Tim’s shoulders. Tim groaned against your stomach. “Close, huh?”

“Yeah.” You lost your breath. Tim’s finger curled inside of you and you were suddenly among the stars. “Wow.” 

A knock suddenly came from the door. Tim jerked away from you, quickly pulling the blankets up and around the two of you. “Yes?” he asked. You giggled, panting as you came down from the high. You smirked when you felt Tim’s hand was still on your breast. 

Damian entered with Jack gurgling in his arms. He looked slightly disappointed. “Take care of your offspring.” He handed Jack to you. 

“Hi Jackie.” You showered his little face with kisses. He touched your cheek with his tiny, perfect hand, enjoying the attention.

“How did you get him?” Tim asked. Damian’s eyes went to your chest and Tim quickly pull his hand away. A blush dusted his cheeks. 

“Pennyworth asked me to watch him.” He crossed his arms. “You invited Grayson over?”

Tim looked at you. “Yes, I did.” You smiled at Damian sweetly. “And if we call a truce, I won’t tell him to give you the sex talk.” 

Damian’s eyes widened slightly. “TT.” He glared at you. “What kind of a truce?”

“Well, if you quit interrupting us, we won’t interrupt you.” You handed Jack to Tim, looking Damian the eye. 

Damian hummed. He rubbed his chin, biting his lip. “Fine, I agree.” He spun on his heel. “But if Grayson tries to talk to me, I will break this truce.” 

“Fair.” You smiled, relaxing against the pillows. Damian closed the door securely behind him. Tim stared at you with his jaw dropped. You took Jack back from him when he started to whine. “What?” You reached up to close his jaw.

“Did you just get Damian to promise not to bother us? He just came in here disappointed that he didn’t catch us in the act.” Tim pointed at the door, eyes wild. 

“Well, it’s only fair. Damian was always about revenge.” You smiled at Jack, cooing at him in a soft voice. “But now we’ll be good and maybe we can give Jack siblings.”

The blood drained out of Tim’s face. “More kids? When did you decide that?” 

You snorted, patting Tim’s cheek with your free hand. “Not now, Timmy. Later, when Jack’s like four or something.” 

Tim glanced at Jack. A dopey smile grew onto his lips. “I suppose that’s fine. I mean if we can handle Jack, we can handle another one.” 

You leaned over to kiss his cheek. “That’s what I was thinking.” Tim turned to catch your lips with his. Jack fell asleep in your arms and you couldn’t be happier.