#I should go back to lurking
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It's been a hot second since I drew anything so I opened my canvas and found a warm up Bonnie. And now I'm sending it out into the abyss to never be seen again. Farewell my sweet summer child
#zoc scrambled#zoc artwork#in stars and time#isat bonnie#ISAT fandom have mercy#I'm so scared#I should go back to lurking
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Historia Augusta, Geta
Cassius Dio, 78.1
Cassius Dio, 78.4
Mutiliation and Transformation: Damnatio Memoriae and the Roman Imperial Portraiture, Eric R. Varner
this is. well! it's probably fine.
#ANYWAY. bringing back my old comparatives tag so that i can bookmark this for myself bc i know im going to forget abt the sources#i need. like. a cork board i can pin stuff to for this comic lmao#ngl. in many ways. whatever happened here is worse than some of the other fratricide-sacrifices that happened in rome. tbqh#truly i think that when something like this happens (bc caracalla had symbolically killed his brother in their youth) you should like#dismantle the whole house. literally. you need to board up the windows and doors and cover all the mirrors otherwise something#is going to follow you back across the threshold and lurk under your bed or something#do you hear the tapping in the wall caracalla? that's your brother!!!! also twenty thousand other people#comparatives tag#shdhshsh im going through dio and assembling another post using screen caps from the trailer we really are in our brother emperors era
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you'll never guess which level we're up to in this dishonored 2 rewrite
#if i haven't stuffed up my timezones this post should land on thanksgiving so here's somethin' to read to go with your food coma#dishonored#dishonored shitposting#emily kaldwin#billie lurk#dishonored fic#interesting the way the resurrection was handled - rock up to aramis stilton's powerpoint presentation basically#does anyone else think it would have been cool if you had to do the duke's palace first.#grab delilah's mortality and give it back in the past. like while she's vulnerable#kind of makes sense too from an emily character perspective#because she shows SO much character growth in stilton's manor#and then goes to the duke's palace next and IMMEDIATELY says the dumbest shit she says all game re: her entitlement and obliviousness#stilton's manor: wow ive learned so much i finally get it now!#nek minnet. emily misunderstands class warfare so bad she thinks she needs to sharpen her dads folding blade. emily. no#and if you think about it the duke's palace would have made a lot of sense for an earlier level just from emily's perspective.#hes very clearly her enemy compared to meagan's vague idea of where sokolov might be. a darker timeline perhaps#lovely Off_Topic mentioned hating time travel as a plot device and i have to agree. here's my take on that level anyway#also big thank you to RoseEll (<3) for saying it parallels the limitations of the game's mechanics interestingly ♥#using this meme template was like. 'oh hey lingering hatred for jeremy clarkson i forgot i had you'#making the badly photoshopped heads too big. my beloved.#ah crap rambling again
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Still no craft updates on account of I feel Bad* but I did get like half a beanie crocheted this weekend? I also have a bat that's haunting me. In that there's a bat design I desperately want to turn into a plushie not in that I am being literally haunted by a bat. As far as I know I am not haunted by a bat but to be fair I'm not confident I'd know? *my heart rate got high enough that made me cough but my asthma was flaring up enough that cough launched me into an asthma attack, which raised my heart rate even more, so basically I used my emergency inhaler and then was on the floor for a while. Feels bad! Do not recommend. I'm okay though just tired
#the person behind the yarn#the reason my heart rate got that high is that my pulse pressure was very narrow#which is. you know. bad.#so I finally gave in and took an extra dose of my meds (as my doctor has advised in the past)#what is probably happening is that I reached the point of stressed where my body couldn't cope#(I'm on long term steroids so I need stress doses if I get too stressed)#but! because acute stress can trigger an allergic reaction (yay MCAS) I tend to kinda...shunt stress off to the side#and come back to process it when it's less like. urgent? immediate?#when it no longer feels like it will trigger an MCAS flareup if I acknowledge the feeling exists#and I do go back and process those emotions! I just have to get a little distance first#and the work stress lately has been so unrelenting (combined with the like...general world news stress)#that I have been ignoring my own stress levels so hard I genuinely did not think I was stressed#or that I needed a stress dose of my meds but uh. I was wrong!#I was wrong. Good news is now that I know I should be good in a day or two#doc said three days for stress doses and today was day one#bad news is narrow pulse pressure combined with asthma attack feels Very Bad!#very bad indeed took me like 20-30 minutes and two different kinds of medication before I could talk normally#without having to pause and catch my breath midsentence#every time I start thinking 'you know maybe I'm not really disabled maybe my health stuff is under control'#it pops up like a jack in the box like surprise! it's the same thing again still here! the meds just hide it most of the time#but it's still there :) lurking :) when I least expect it :)#...I think I might buy myself another sticker or two. something to look forward to coming in the mail
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#i’m putting this down here because i don’t actually really want to talk about it or answer asks about it but i’m like a little annoyed lmao#first of all obviously people should have boundaries and not be annoying/invasive/etc. duh.#i have been around the rpf block many a time and rule 1 is don’t be a weirdo. don't let it out of fandom spaces :)#but yeah idk. oliver stark to me feels like someone who is actually very familiar with the mechanics of fandom warfare#and therefore does not know how to log off when it starts to get personal#like to be clear i definitely do not think he engages directly with This fandom other than to lurk and spy on people for fun/haterism#but in MY opinion he has the energy of a person who spends a nonzero amount of time engaged in petty anonymous beef#over a character or a ship or a sport or a new brand of tofu. idk i don’t really care what he’s into#but it does sort of seem like he forgets that when he’s doing it on his real socials with his real face and real name attached#people are going to know that it’s him and respond accordingly and he should just like. block them and move on.#and maybe even go back to his burner and vague about it or something if he truly cannot just walk away.#which he does seem to be sort of getting slightly better at but it's still just like. yeah man! i don't know what to tell you.#people are weird sometimes. we all get weird anons and dm’s and people cyberbullying us. it sucks and it shouldn't happen but it does.#and you do literally just have to find ways to make it easier to ignore them. i know that you know this#because you are a human who grew up on the same exact internet as the rest of us.#i say; as i feel compelled to post about a tiny situation from like 12 hours ago that has literally nothing to do with me#anyway!!!!!!!#i went into the settings to turn off reblogs and thought how funny would it be if i blazed this post lmao
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Is there a lolita to ftm pipeline or what the fuck is going on?
#i don't mean the book im talking about the fashion#not that surprising considering mana-sama's impact when it comes to weebs my age#but it's still funny that I've seen a lot of 'girls' start with like... sweet lolita#then they try ouji#and then you look away for a moment and they're men/nb#i could say the same about cosplay. some people out there do crossplay once and decide they never want to go back#im not complaining. i find this delightful#i would like some insight on the transfems tho...#i have typically feminine interests so I don't get to meet a lot of amab people#like... what are some of their lesser known pipelines? i should probably try lurking their communities more...#but in the case of lolita i wonder if the emphasis on modesty and deliberate rejection of appealing to the male gaze...#is something that also catches the eye of those that don't want to be like... female objects of desire but for gender reasons#gonna be thinking about this for a while now#guys i love gender <- guy who doesnt care much for his own
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they can yassify Marlin........
they can yassify Gustafa...........
they can even yassify Murrey......
but will Marvelous get on the level I was on when I was fourteen, in 2006, and yassify Daryl????
#story of seasons#harvest moon#story of seasons a wonderful life#I'm gonna go out on a limb here and estimate that absolutely zero people are going to care about this lmao#but oh BOY every time I watch a video about the remake my old bishounen Daryl sketches are lurking in the back of my mind#and I still don't know what he looks like in the remake lol like DID THEY RUIN HIM TOO#DID THEY MAKE EVEN MY HORRIBLE GREMLIN SCIENTIST MAN PRETTY.........#I really loved that A Wonderful Life was so ugly (complimentary) lol I'm sad the remake is so Pretty#THEY DID CODY SO FUCKING DIRTY#oh yeah also I shipped Daryl and Flora together because even when I was 14 I had Problematic Tastes#still crossing my fingers every time I watch a new trailer for the remake that Daryl will show up and that he'll be an awful little gremlin#like he should be#my art#yeah it's going in the tag lol
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Mal took me to see Sonic 3 today and I don't think I stopped grinning and kicking my feet the entire time...
#❪ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ─── ⠀ missallanea / ooc ⠀﹕ probably hyperfixating on something. ⠀ ❫#/ i am a long time sonic fan and i just. aaaaaa it was so good!!!#/ so so so happy and honestly if they keep making films i will keep going to see them#/ sonic adventure 2 was the first game that i ever personally owned.#/ sonic is as near and dear to my heart as kirby (the first video game i ever played!)#/ anyway lurking for a few more days but i should be back soon!
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sorry for the radio silence ! am exhausted
#°˖✧❀ ❛ out of offerings. ┊ ooc. ❀✧˖°#i've spent today jumping back and forth different social media platforms bc ppl are messaging me about my c.ommissions#and now i'm socially drained lol#got 2 to draw so i'm glad i can still make some money on the side before the year ends 💪#i've also spent all of yesterday out with family and now we're gonna go out again today in a bit#so that's why i haven't been lurking as much#i only have 1 draft rn and i promise i *do* have a reply in the works !! i'm just slow and socially drained i'm sorry ;_;#i haven't been checking my blogs due to spending time with family -- thought i should make a post so that ppl know i'm not ignoring them 💀#ty for dealing with my slow butt 😔✊
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5 years on T I would personally like to thank kirigaya katzuto
#personal#I should really draw again….#me showing up once every couple of years and then going back to lurking#fyi I rarely draw like ever nowadays
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Its the want to yap about silly goofies but social anxiety will not let me 😔😔😔
#perhaps i should make a discord server or something lmaoo#i have a feeling id lurk more than anything though akdjjsjfjsnf#if we're moots and i havent yapped about stuff to you recently im sorry 😭 feel free to reach out whenever úwù#cinna if you see this you're legit whats keeping me sane#im going back to painting little gremlins now hehe
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Oh yeah, guess I should put this here now.
My friends successfully managed to drag me onto Bluesky several months back, and then dragged me back on after Twitter began to implode (again, though I have a feeling this one might be what sticks). It's cozy so far, and when I have actual Thoughts as opposed to Bad Thoughts, I occasionally post them there. Here it is if anyone is curious.
#she speaks#shameless shills of self-promotion#figured I should share here#since I've been more active over there as opposed to here lately#I never was on Twitter before but to lurk anyway lol#so this is...a change of pace#but so far it's been nice#will hopefully be back here once my brain stops kicking itself in the groin several times a day#but who knows when that will be#anyway here ya go
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formerly an essay in tags but - billie lurk. half-nameless, misremembered woman. her powers derived from the things taken from her, without any catharsis or empowerment. the rat charm, tied with deidre's hair, her lover's voice in the mouth of rats. her arm and eye, taken, given back only to cause her chronic pain, then lost again. foresight seems a cruel gift for a woman who botched the timing of her takeover of the whalers, and bet wrong when it came to delilah.
she never bore the outsider's blessing; his first visit to her was more like an assault. every other dishonored POV character gets the choice to be selfish, and for that selfishness to mean something, but billie's actions have no effect on the world at large, either, in a game without a chaos system.
some say that corvo is the ghost, but he can reach out and change things. billie's buried herself twice and come back and nothing she does seems to matter - she is less a protagonist, more a convenient full stop in the narrative.
try this: open doto, start a new game. sit in her cabin. notice how little of billie there is. even the woman she loved more than anyone has the face of another named character.
she sits amongst the assets of other games: empty canvases and a dressmaker's mannequin that wears nothing.
#billie lurk#even the wiki is wrong about her its infuriating#pulled this out of tags because fuck it#in daud's DLCs even the stories that weren't about him were about him#but billie's stories are the scrapheap. they're the stuff they couldn't squeeze in elsewhere. cheap jokes and macguffins#i'm not even roasting the devs for this i think releasing dishonored in 2016 then DotO in 2017 was a feat (derogatory)#games should be made slowly and with love#and i know that everyones talked about this endlessly#but billie is my fav and it sucks that she got a game that only causes me to grieve for her as a character#not FOR her as a person#only the potential story that never was. that she never got.#you can have your strong black woman and not turn her into a trope. give her depth and range and heartache and agency. yes there was traged#but how did it SHAPE her?#dont get me started on her being designated caretaker of a former god and dying assassin. what the fuck#some of this i'd be more okay with if she was younger - i mean. the blank canvases? really?#this game could have been about wyman and there's not that much that would have changed in terms of the core story#“found out the asshole that killed your mother is still around. gonna go deal with that.”#emily who is stoned: “cool.bring me snacks on the way back”#wyman: “oh he's saying actually it was gods fault and that its possible to kill him. well i have literally nothing in my schedule”#billie's not surprised by anything anymore but maybe wyman would freak out over most of it. could have been a lot of fun#also you cant fuck up wymans characterisation. they barely exist.#local empress sends her enby girlboyfriend to kill god#pres writes increasingly deranged essays in the tags#death of the outsider spoilers#i have to complain about doto once every year or so or i die#but i'm not really gonna let arkane hide behind dev excuses when it comes to racism like. its not enough
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#⭑ ✿ ﹡ 𝖥𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖲𝗁𝖺𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗌 ⭒ 𝗉𝗎𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗋 ( ooc )#// in updates: still sick but fever broke#// might try poking at responding to some stuff but i'm always lurking#// i have all replies drafted so yay on that lvl of organisation on my part#// should be back to regular scheduled activity soon-ish tho if things go to plan#⭑ ♦ ﹡ 𝖫𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗅𝗒 𝖳𝗋𝖺𝗌𝗁𝖼𝖺𝗇 ( tbd )
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Might be taking a minor step back from fandom rn, life is currently attacking from all sides and it's not a happy situation
#by taking a step back i mean i might not be as enthusiastic as usual#just lurking instead#the symptoms of depression are not fun#they really werent joking when they said side effects of the pill include mood swings and weight gain#bc the emotions have really not been it these last 3 weeks#im not as excited about stuff as i usually am?#when im out socialising i want to be home#and my friends are getting on my nerves for no reason#but then when i am home im just as tired#and annoyed#and i dont wanna do anything#the 18 day long period is not helping#im bleeding out i think#it already made me iron deficient last year and its worse this year#its not a stretch#personal#google says i should feel better in a month or two#but can i really take another month if this shit#fuck#maybe i should go to the doctor again#for yhe third time this month yay
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every time i see people making posts about the sad state of the sunny wiki i take ten points of psychic damage and then run off to fix whatever the fuck someone has mentioned
#and if you go back to see it and notice it's all been completely rewitten just know i am lurking. please help me#the amount of work for one person is. incredibly overwhelming. but im trying my best hdjsbjd#not having active mods for 12 years will do that to a wiki!#not the first long dead wiki ive resurrected but the bones of the sunny wiki are. frankly. absolute shit#ada speaks#tfw you go to edit a page and fandom spam filter pops up informing you that there is a racial slur on the page#and you cant publish your edit until it's been deleted.#the fact that these pages were written and HAVE NOT BEEN TOUCHED since before they implemented a spam filter 💕💕💕#anyway i started in on mac's page. its been reformatted. the actual content is still hot garbage but#structurally it matches dennis and charlie's now#which means... eventually#when i am not Dying.#i can rewrite it#add a proper fucking recap#charlie's page was worse than mac's but dennis' was just. good god.#well. nothing was worse than dennis' fucking subpages#dennis' mental illness subpage you will not be missed#absolute garbage fire of a page. nothing even CLOSE to what a wiki page should look like#speculation has no place on a fcking wiki
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