#I should add a shade when I add a highlight *cough* also. it DID look a little too orangey to me so I decided to make the colours a little

[noliaert]

"Show me were you go at night", featuring a cigarette kiss

Fixed up on this one again

[thatwitchyaunt]

Makeup for Magick/Ritual: Imbolc

So, this is a post that got taken own off of reddit because, apparently, a post about makeup as a tool in witchcraft is not... about... witchcraft? Okay? Anyway, this is the copy/paste of the original first post and the rest of this series will be here, so I hope you enjoy. And to anyone coming here from r/witchcraft, welcome to the absolute hot mess that is The Whatever Book!

“Well, here we go! The first post in (hopefully) a series that some of you were surprisingly interested in! Not gonna lie, I thought it would get a bunch of downvotes and that'd be that, but here we are! Before I start, quick disclaimer: My current phone is a 3S, so the pictures aren't the... best quality. But it's what we're working with. Now let's get into it!

So, quick cheeky recap of what I said in my original post: My other passion besides witchcraft is makeup. It's how I express myself artistically and I often use themed makeup looks as a way to celebrate the sabbats, doubling as offerings on Imbolc and Lammas/Lughnasadh. Sometimes, I even incorporate themed looks into spellwork in the same way I would decorate an intention-specific altar. (I fully blame Ms. Frizzle for my love of themed/inspired-by makeup looks, btw.) Now let's get into the post! First sabbat: Imbolc.

Generally, my rituals focus on the more fiery aspect of Lady Brighid on Imbolc; so reds, oranges and yellows are what I reach for. Depending on what you focus on (cleansing/purification, healing, the returning warmth, prep for Spring, new growth, etc), what you choose may be way different. So lets take a peek at the palettes I have in my collection that I can see fitting this coming up sabbat, starting with Colourpop!

Here we have the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette, the "Orange You Glad?" palette and the "Main Squeeze" palette. I'd use these three together for my more fiery looks, but "Uh Huh, Honey" could be paired with a more icy look if your focus is on the returning warmth.

Speaking of! This is the "Going Coconuts" palette, "Blue Moon" palette, "Mint to Be" palette and "Just My Luck" palette.

"Going Coconuts" is definitely a good, affordable neutral palette for Imbolc. It's neutral, but can lean on the icier side thanks to the shade "Palm Reader". Add a pop of yellow from the "Uh Huh, Honey" palette and you're set for a "returning warmth" look.

Then there's the "Blue Moon" and "Mint to Be" palettes, which are both good for the more healing/cleansing aspects of Imbolc. "Blue Moon" can go icy (and be paired with "Uh Huh, Honey" for the returning warmth), or can be used to represent Brighid's healing/cleansing waters. The shades in "Mint to Be" are somewhere between wintery greens and spring greens, so perfect for Imbolc! These mints give me very "fresh and clean" vibes, and also would not be out of place on a set of nurse scrubs. More gentle healing than "Blue Moon".

"Just My Luck" is your girl if you're going for the green of "new growth". Try pairing with "Mint to Be" for a more interesting green look.

The last CP palette I'd look at is the "Yes, Please" palette. It's a descent dupe for the Give Me Glow "Extra Spicy" palette if it's sold out. This is Colourpop's original eyeshadow palette and has those fiery tones I reach for this time of year.

Then, onto the Give Me Glow palettes, there's the "Extra Spicy" palette. I would reach for this one over the "Yes, Please" palette, because it's a better formula and is multi-functional. "Mild", "Spicy Peach Martini" and "Habanero" make for really great blushes and "Ghost Pepper" is a really cool fiery-yellow highlighter. This is being discontinued, however, so If you want it you need to grab it while you can. 10/10, would absolutely recommend!

Next is "The Grunge" palette and the "Sweet & Sticky" palette. Both are descent neutral/nude palettes for this time of year (if you aren't like me and are down for to look like a "Happy Clown") "The Grunge" palette has some interesting matte pops and has two metallics that could lean either warm or cool depending on what you pair with it. It's currently out of stock, and I'm not sure if it's coming back? This past Black Friday, they had it labeled as "discontinued" but I'm not 100% sure.

"Sweet & Sticky" is a cinnamon bun themed palette, and the colors are spot on! I absolutely consider cinnamon buns to be an appropriate food for Imbolc, what with the white icing (melting snow) paired with the cinnamon filling (warmth) in the roll (earth). An excellent small palette for neutral lovers, and "Icing Drip" and "Sweet Cinnamon Latte" are good highlighters depending on your skin tone.

The last Give Me Glow palette is the "Summer Vibes" palette! Specifically for the shades "Orange Soda Pop", "Mango Margarita" and "Sunny". Again, for the fiery aspect of the Sabbat. All the shades in this palette are available in singles, but I'd say just get the palette if you're interested in it. This will definitely come up again in my post for Litha/Summer Solstice, no doubt about it.

Now onto BH Cosmetics! We'll start with the two bigger palettes I chose this time around: "The Zodiac" palette and the Holiday 2020 "Naughty" palette. "The Zodiac" is a that cool with a pop of warm that fots the Sabbat, and the formula is gorgeous! The middle shade is a baked highlighter as well, and looks great on fair/light skintones (don't ask me about deeper skin tones, since I'm out here looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost and have absolutely no clue).

The "Naughty" palette... I'd say it's the only holiday palette that I've seen in the past few years that a brand actually put any real thought and effort into. And the formula's 10/10, so well done, BH! If you want to do a warm tone or cool toned Imbolc look, it's got you. If you want to do a fiery look, it's got you. If you want to do an icy with a pop of fire look, it's got you. It can be used all year round, too, which is pretty great, and you can use it as a sort of anchor palette for different looks. The day I'm writing this (January 18-19, 2021) it's on sale for 60% off, so only $12, and I honestly think you should snatch it up. Definitely going to be showing up in my Yule/Winter Solstice post.

On to the smaller BH palettes! First batch are "Love in London", "Smitten in Switzerland" and "Chillin' in Chicago". These are the three more neutral/"wearable" (eff, I hate that word) palettes in the BH Travel Series. There are a couple more like this, but they'll pop up in later posts.

"Love in London" can go either warm or cool depending on the shades you use, but either way, the tones are deep enough to fit the winter season we're still in.

"Smitten in Switzerland" is more cool-toned, muted-colorful palette with a bright pop. My favorite sage green eyeshadow look is from this palette. Outside of any Sabbat uses, I genuinely cooked up an entire scenario based solely on the vibes of the palette. Like, this is the palette you'd wear if the world was no longer on fire, and you and your family decided to go to a ski lodge for a weekend. You're no winter sports kind of Witch, no skiing or snowboarding for you (you're not here to break all the bones in your body so, hard pass). Instead, you sit by the lodge's fireplace/hearth wearing a cute and cozy sweater, perhaps some cute boots. Maybe you're reading a book or on a laptop/phone/whatever with a mug filled with a hot beverage of your choice, possibly spiked. And there you stay, looking like a cute snow bunny while you wait for the rest of your family to be done nearly getting themselves killed on the slopes.

*Cough cough* Now back to the post... Eh-heh...

"Chillin' in Chicago" is the palette to grab for a muted fiery look. Still has some color to it, but nothing as intense as, lets say, the "Extra Spicy" palette. Great alternative.

Now for the two bright/colorful palettes from BH's Weekend Vibes series. "Avocado Toast" and "Blueberry Muffin". "Avocado Toast" has your greens/warm browns with a pink and yellow pop that'd work great for any "new growth" symbolism. Meanwhile, for my fellow New Englanders, "Blueberry Muffin" gives us those more icy tones for the foot of snow we usually get on, or around, Imbolc. Any other New England Witches just look at that whole "new growth" bit when they first got started and went "B!tch, how?!" ...No? Just me? Side note, "Decadent" is the exact shade of the stain from blueberry juice and that made me idiotically happy. Don't ask, cause I don't know either.

The Shroud Cosmetics "Creepy Cute" palette! Widely considered one of the best pastel palettes on the market (Use code BEAUTBEAN fo 10% off! Did I just plug one of my favorite beauty YouTubers Why yes, yes I did...), it's insanely pigmented! "Void", "Tombstone", "Creep It Real", and "Cold Shoulder" can help you with colder, more wintery looks. "Cold Shoulder" and "Creep It Real" could be used for healing/purification if that's your ritual focus, and "Third Eye" and "Strawberry Milk" could both be used as crease/blending shades for a more fore-based look.

These three are my mainstream "if color is not your jam" palettes. The Tarte "Tartelette Toasted" palette, and the Anastasia Beverly Hills "Soft Glam" palette and "Sultry" palette.

The "Tartelette Toasted" palette is your neutral fiery palette. It gives a nice orange-red "toasted" look that fits the Sabbat well. Not my first choice, but if you're looking for a "basic b!tch" warm palette, she's your girl.

"Soft Glam" and "Sultry" are more warm tone vs. cool tone. If you want a more "cold, thawing earth" vibe, "Sultry" is the way to go. If you want to get it, I think it's only available in bundles on Ulta and the ABH website (but it's like.. half off in Ulta sooooo....). And "Soft Glam", obviously, for the warmer aspects of the Sabbat.

Now, on to my single shadows!

The top five are from Shroud Cosmetics. The first four (left to right) would be good for a fiery look), while the last one would be good to use for a water look/pop.

"World Eater" (Drool-worthy metallic red), "Ignite" (coppery orange metallic), "Vigil" (yellow-gold metallic), "Oracle" (light gold "inner corner highlight" type of metallic), "Sea of Ghosts" (medium blue metallic with a gold shift).

The bottom one is from Colourpop in the shade "Glass Bull", which is the perfect inner corner highlight for icier blue/purple looks.

Last, but certainly not least, my Give Me Glow Singles!

The amount of times I had to curate these singles so they would fit into one large palette.. I just... That's why this took three years to figure out. Anyways, I have a few different color stories in this palette, so stick with me more a second.

*Row 1 (L-R)*

"Marshmallow" - White matte. Pretty basic.

"Halo" - White metallic with baby blue and gold shifts. Perfect inner corner pop of sun for icy looks.

"Satellite" - Straight up silver metallic. If the Tin Man is your fashion icon, this'll do ya.

"Bubbles" - Icy blue metallic.

"Sky High" - Bright sky blue matte. Not pictured because mine came broken, but it's legit the perfect Imbolc blue.

"Blue Jeans" - Muted grey-blue metallic.

*Row 2 (L-R)*

"Cream Please" - Basic cream shade.

"Spring Break" - Green-blue with gold shift.

"Kiwi" - Kiwi Green. What it says on the tin.

"Joker" - Olive green metallic with lime undertones.

"Patty"- Just a true green matte.

"Space Dust" - Deep Smokey true grey.

*Row 3 (L-R)*

"On Ice" - Pale champagne nude metallic.

"Highlight" - Pale champagne gold metallic.

"Lucky Charm" - Golden yellow metallic.

"Fierce" - Pale orangy peach matte.

"You're Cheesy" - Mac and cheese orange metallic.

"Low Battery" - True red orange matte, more on the red side.

*Row 4 (L-R)*

"Selfie" - Burnt golden orange metallic.

"Hashtag" - Grungy medium toned orange matte.

"Chili" - Deep blue based rusty red matte.

"Icy Frap" - Icy warm champagne metallic with taupe undertones.

"Iced Coffee" - Deep bronze gold metallic.

"Dark as My Soul" - Grungy deep warm brown matte.

Now on to the color stories:

*Color Story 1* Icy Blue with a sunny gold pop on the inner corner (returning warmth)

Marshmallow, Halo, Satellite, Bubbles, Sky High, Blue Jeans, Space Dust.

*Color Story 2* Greens (new growth)

Cream Please, Spring Break, Kiwi, Joker, Patty, Space Dust, On Ice.

*Color Story 3* Brighid's Fire

Highlight, Lucky Charm, Fierce, You're Cheesy, Low Battery

*Color Story 4* Warming earth (warm tone browns)

Selfie, Hashtag, Chili, Cream Please, Highlight.

*Color Story 5* Frozen earth (cool tone browns)

Icy Frap, Iced Coffee, Dark as My Soul, Marshmallow, Halo.

And that's that for Imbolc! Holy crap, that took ages! The pictured do not do these shadows justice. One day I'll have a phone with a properly functioning camera...

Well, Glamour Ghouls (you can boo me, it's fine), it's your turn to shop your stash and get those creative juices flowing! Is there anything in your collection that you'd grab for Imbolc? Sound off in the comments and let's inspire each other!”

[jimlingss]

Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement. In this short amount of time, I’ve been absolutely overwhelmed with messages of support. I want to reassure you all that I’m by no means as hurt as some of you think, or at least not after so much kindness. I’ve always encouraged all kinds of feedback!! From compliments to constructive criticism. And I’m (supposedly) an Adult™, so I can definitely take someone’s opinion.

Regardless, thank you to everyone who reached out to me. I want to respond to each and everyone of you under this post so I don’t flood other people’s dashes.

Anonymous said: about the anon who said your fics lack emotion, hmm i wouldn't quite agree tbh, i remember reading tears of a villian and deadass crying, it hurt me so much!! also, in "fall in hatred" their feeling are so well portrayed and i could understand why they acted a certain way! to conlclude, there is always some space for constructive criticism but your stories, are to me, something very attentively built and created, it's apparent that you completely enjoy writing, I can feel your enthusiasm!!

--to that anon; pls don't get this wrong way but it's just the way I see it and I've read quite a lot till now

nah deadass crying isn’t good enough anymore, anon. You have to be keening and violently sobbing until you’re brought into the ER for my fics to be considered to have emotion. lol I’m only kidding, thank you for the message.

peachiest-hun said: To that anon who said your work lacked emotions, I beg to differ! I have read Jungle Park so many times I know at exactly which chapter when the heavy angst starts happening and I read those parts when I just want to have a good cry (I still cry every. single. time)! Also Head Over Heels to Hell, The Colour of Our Voices, Love So Shallow (because I so relate with OC), and many more have given me the FEELS (happy and sad ones). 1/2

So what I'm trying to say is that Jimlingss is doing a great job in her craft. She does deliver emotions in her work and the reason I love it so much is that it's SUBTLE and not completely in your face. Sometimes emotions that are subtle and they hit you slowly, but powerfully it hurts even more for me. On another note, I'm loving Sugar and Coffee. In times of darkness which are often these days, I have something to look forward to every week to keep me motivated. So thank you Jimlinggs! 2./2

Istg Jungle Park is one of the most unexpectedly beloved fics on my blog but I love it hahaha I can’t believe you’ve read it to the point of knowing what chapter is what though. that’s an honour. There’s definitely stories of mine that are less subtle than others, but I’m glad that you enjoy the latter of them too :’) Thank you.

Anonymous said: This is my first time ever leaving a message on someone’s tumblr, but I just felt that I HAD to after reading that anon’s comment about your stories lacking emotion. I wholly disagree (in the nicest way possible, not throwing any shade at anyone). I’ve read all of your fics (for the past two years) and I look forward to when you release new material (the highlight of my Mondays right now after I come home from working at a clinic). Your stories have really lifted my mood during this pandemics an

Anonymous said: Sorry for that long tangent. Don’t even know if I made sense. You don’t have to respond to any of this, but you deserve to hear some positive words as well.

Oh my god. Did I just take your tumblr-message virginity? asdfghjkl I’m kidding. but thank you for reaching out to me. I can’t believe you’ve been around for such a long time and that I’m a part of your Monday routine :’) 

Anonymous said: OK that ask about "constructive criticism" was def imo RUDE. You don't just anonymously go into someone's asks and bluntly tell an author that their fics "lack emotion". That is not the way to encourage someone to improve and continue to work hard. That's just flat out mean. That person clearly doesn't care about your feelings or the fact that you write and share your stories for FREE for us to enjoy. I love your stories and appreciate what you've shared with us. Thank you for your hard work ❤️

I like to give the benefit of the doubt to anons and anyone sending me a message online in general. God knows there were times I meant well but it was received wrongly. But anyway, my mind was more boggled than I was hurt, that’s one thing for sure.

joonie-mono said: + it was called love so shallow which genuinely made me see myself in a character, but my point was that your writing has a specific feel to it, it's made me laugh and cry (His Name personally killed me :] ) and that's my opinion. You and your writing are amazing and I'm sorry but that anon was just so wrong.

oof bringing out the evidence. be my attorney please.

Anonymous said: As someone who has read your entire masterlist (and going through it again) i will have to wholeheartedly disagree with that anon. The way you portray SO many emotions in your fics is *chefs kiss* and I honestly thought that the ones that “lack emotion” were meant to be that way, with an open ending, the idea that their love just started, soo.... yeah, I’ll have to disagree.

There are definitely stories of mine that are a bit looser on romance. Such as Kitchen Romance, The President’s Son, The Heiress’ Son, Arcadia, etc. But I have a loooot of fics that are quite emphasized in either despair/sadness or cute fluff.

ladyartemesia said: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am here to disrespectfully disagree with anon who probably doesn’t write effing ANYTHING and has no idea what it takes to produce the content you do. I have followed for months and I’m still not through your masterlist BECAUSE reading your stories is a bloomin EMOTIONAL EVENT. When I read Brass and Strings, I LOST A WHOLE DAY. Like I was so into it, my DAY was gone. Anon is prolly salty there isn’t more smut I guess. That’s whatever for them. (Part 1)

It’s subtle, deep, meaningful, and incredible and you’re one of my favorite authors. I can’t FOR A SECOND let that comment go cause it’s RIDICULOUS. You’re literally so gifted. You don’t need to change a thing. Every artist, no matter their medium, should continue to improve. So in that sense I wish you all the growth in the world as you work towards the perfection of your craft. BUT SERIOUSLY you’re an incredible writer. That anon is loony. I’m so sorry you had to even read those crazy words.

As I answer these messages, it’s starting to feel like I’m the third party mediator of a dispute and all y’all are just HAMMERING it to this anon, LOL. I’m not sure if the anon is necessarily requesting for more smut but if they are, they might be happy this Friday (*COUGH spoiler for those actually reading my responses)

Anyway, you’re too kind. thank you. I am definitely not as hurt as I was earlier.

((and tbh you’re hilarious, you’re actually making me laugh irl))

krystle1990 said: Woah!! Ok first that Anon is absolutely crazy. I literally stalk your page for new work being put out! I probably blow up your notifications daily. I've never been disappointed in any of your work. You always give a heads up if it will take time for the characters to realize their feelings which I absolutely love. It always leaves me ready for the next part and I am glued to my phone with every update. You're amazing and I can't wait to see how you grow with your work. 💜😘

ASDFGHJKL PLEASEEE if it’s someone who’s worried about blowing up notifications, it’s me. To those who have notifications on I sincerely can’t fathom how often I blow up people’s phones. I digress, I always give out warnings to keep people patient since I know slow burn can be excruciating haha thank you for the message.

kigurumu said: Also just want to add that saying you have good intentions or "don't mean to be mean" does not cancel out whatever offensive thing you just said. IT WILL STILL RUDE. Not saying all negative feedback is bad. Criticism can be hard to take no matter how it's phrased, but telling a writer to be more like another writer is like telling them their style isn't good enough which is NOT helpful. Your writing is your own. If the anon wants to read fics that are like gukyi's, they can read gukyi's fics 🙄

Also I've been waiting until Sugar and Coffee is done so I can binge it all at once but avoiding spoilers from all the asks is so hard haha! I keep seeing all these good things about it and I'm SO tempted to just read it now but I've already waited this long so I don't wanna give up kfnrjrofvjskdh guess I'll reread your other fics in the meantime

The message was fine on its own but I think dragging in another writer at the end was definitely not ok. When will comparing writers end. But regardless, gukyi and I are cool with one another - i mean we wrote 100k together so it’s gonna have to take a reverse Zuko arc for us to be on bad terms lol

Anyway, oooh you’re one of those bingers. Can’t say I blame you cause I love binging myself, so it’s understandable for readers to wait till the series is over. and since you were so kind in following up your original message with two more and expressing so much appreciation for me :’), I’ll let you know that the finale of Sugar and Coffee will be posted by July 20th! by then, the entire series will be completed. 

Anonymous said: Tbh i think that neither you nor that anon is wrong. Some people like it more romanticised and cheesy, some people dont. I believe that your stories are more on the realistic side of life. People (whom your characters represent) cant always be cheesy and passionate for love, there are other things in life! Maybe you're just the type who's too realistic for any hopeless romantic things like i am and it's fine. Not all writers can write dramatic romance

Tbh, I agree. It’s a matter of opinion and there’s no one wrong in the fight of opinions. As I’ve said many times on my blog, the cringe factor varies between person to person. What someone might think is fluffy is absolutely cringey to another. What someone might think is a good amount of fluff is not enough for someone else. I’ve written a lot. And I’ve made sure to add lots of variations between the amount of romance in my stories. Indeed, some are definitely more subtle and “realistic” while others are completely cheesy and makes me gag from the amount of sugar in it lol I just think the anon should take a look at more of my stories before coming up with such a conclusive opinion.

Anonymous said: I’ve been reading your fics for over a year now and religiously follow updates every week. Why? Because they make me feel something whether it be joy from fluff or grief from angst. I’ll remember a story of yours months after I first read it and return to it just to feel those emotions again. I understand that emotional responses are usually subjective but I think that anon needs to read your works again, because they sure are missing out.

I replied to that anon that they should check out more of my fics and then come back to tell me if they haven’t changed their minds, so I don’t know if they’re missing out or not lol

I don’t expect my stories to elicit emotional responses or fanatic feedback for everyone. God knows there’s been other people’s writing styles that just didn’t resonate with me no matter how hard I tried to read their stories. But all I ask is that people try. It’s fine if you give up halfway but at least try reading. That’s fair to ask, right?

[miloscat]

[Review] Mario’s Picross (GB)

Having run short of new Picross games to play *cough Western gamers should really have been allowed access to Club Nintendo Picross and Club Nintendo Picross Plus cough* I turned to the past to satisfy my burning desire for picture crossword puzzles. Jupiter’s very first offering in their long-running series (now 23 strong by my count) is a barebones affair, mostly 15x15 puzzles on a tiny monochrome screen.

I say monochrome; of course, playing on a Super Game Boy or GBC will give a few different shades and highlighted interface elements. As usual, it’s Nintendo’s Virtual Console features that are barebones, but that’s how I played it for convenience. Pixel-perfect mode is unusable—I’d need opera glasses to read the numbers on that tiny rendered display. Blown-up mode is a little fuzzy but serviceable. With those boring technical details out of the way, let’s talk about the boring game details.

The game has a light pseudo-archeological theme as presented via Mario’s constant pith-helmeted visage, the cursor being in the shape of a hammer and chisel, and the nice puzzle menu backgrounds. There’s 3 screens of 64 puzzles each, which kept me going for 15 hours. All the modern conveniences I was used to—numbers automatically greying themselves out, easily crossing lines, colour—were absent, but it actually didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. I’ve gotten proficient enough at internalising the logic tricks that I looked past primitive control concerns, I suppose. The puzzles are also simpler in shape than the weirdly shaded and detailed representations these days; if anything recognising the chunky, basic outline of a dog, for example, made these more satisfying a lot of the time.

That’s not to say that this very old iteration is preferred. There’s no way to view completed pictures once you return to the menu. The outdated time system, while never actually threatening to end any of my attempts, adds an unnecessary element of tension. Free mode is only unlocked after completing everything, and then strangely it just gives you a random puzzle each time from the whole selection. And solving puzzles with buttons is still inferior when stylus-driven games are available, especially when the D-pad decides to be a tad unresponsive. Besides, it just doesn’t have the smooth pizazz Jupiter later pulled off. The core concept is great, and appears here almost fully formed... it just needs more room to breathe than the old Game Boy can allow it. I did make some Miiverse posts about the Mario-themed puzzles but I can’t get any more specific than this link, and there’s only 8 of them.

[atypical60]

CAVEAT:  This post would have been published last night. But my &*()&*(&* damn laptop stinks.  My finger touched a certain key and everything disappeared. I’m writing this on the PC instead!

And away. We. Go…

My morning routine is very important to me. While I wait for my day cream and serum and primers to dry upon my visage, I enjoy sipping upon the coffee that Bonaparte makes and serves me—princess that I am.  It is also time for me to read one of my favorite blogs, “That’s Not My Age”, by Alyson Walsh. She’s a spunky Brit with tons of style and panache.  She actually qualifies as one of my delusional best friends forever. I’m sure she would call Scotland Yard if I ever showed up within two feet of her, but that’s the way it goes!

This morning I read a post referencing the new “No Makeup Movement”.  Have you heard of this or seen any of the photographs of the many celebrities posing *cough* *ahem* makeup free?

Most of those who have freed their pusses of cosmetics are under 30 and they are wrinkle and rosacea free as well.  They are also lady whisker free.  You know where this is going don’t you?

Yeah.  Harper’s Bazaar glorified quite a few celebrities who snapped “No Makeup Selfies” and I question the “no makeup” part.  Shall we?

Look closely at Heidi Klum’s cheeks.  She’s wearing contour.  Her bottom lip is also a brighter shade of pink than her top lip and that pink isn’t even.  She’s wearing a minimal amount of makeup.  I’m more impressed with that beautiful wrinkle-free neck.  I want Heidi Klum’s neck.

Salma Hayek thinks that snapping a photo of herself with wet hair means no makeup.  Look at her eyes.  She’s wearing a very, very light brown shadow on her lids.  And look at the bottom lids..I detect a bit of liner and mascara.  WTF has cheeks that are naturally illuminated?  Nobody. That’s who!  She’s wearing some sort of highlighter.  Nobody’s hair looks that good wet.  The lighting is also a factor in a softer look.

Lady Gaga is so incredibly pretty. But I am deeply confused.  Either she has a killer spray tan and didn’t want her face tanned, or she applied a ton of powder on her face before this “no makeup” selfie was snapped.  If that is her natural hair, she���s even more gorgeous than I imagined.

I’m having a hard time with this one because it looks like Cindy Crawford has foundation or concealer on that sexy mole of hers. She lined the bottom of her eyes too!  I’m wondering if I’m a freak of nature because MY lips are naturally much darker. I need lip color to get MY lips that Cindy light color.  I think Cindy does too!  Cindy is also very aware of lighting. That’s why she took the photo under the covers.  I love my Cindy Crawford sofa. It’s held up so much better than my overpriced Ethan Allen one.  Cindy is NOT makeup free in this selfie.

Diane Kruger IS gorgeous.  But This is not a completely no-makeup selfie. She’s got lip balm or a very light gloss on.  I detect a bit of a line of demarcation above her upper eyelid.  But the BEST thing about this selfie is that she has the very beginning of fuzz on her chin. Welcome to the world of lady whiskers my pretty!  Soon you will have a tweezer in every purse!

I swear to goddess.  Bazaar had the balls to add this pic of Kylie Jenner in the “no makeup” selfie.  Oh. Wait. This look IS what no makeup means to the Jenner/Kardashian clan!

Alright.  Bar Refaeli is makeup free.  And if I looked like her, I would not have the need to wear cosmetics.  And SHE is one in a hundred million who could carry this off on a daily basis.  She is a freak of nature!   Nobody is that naturally beautiful!

Megan Fox has watermarked her top inner eyelids.  I know this. I do it all the time.  She filled in her brows.  She also filled in her face. She admitted to it in an interview.  So basically, her makeup is internal. 

Now THIS is what I’m talking about. THIS is a true no-makeup photo. It isn’t a selfie. It isn’t from Bazaar.  But it’s a bonafide photo of a woman who is in her late sixties, photographed in natural lighting, without filters.  THANK YOU SAINT HELEN MIRREN!!  Look at the photo after she’s been made up.  The cosmetics that have been applied to her face are not a mask. The cosmetics are enhancing the beautiful features she has.  She looks a good 15 years younger.  I’m very jealous of Mirren. Look at her neck!!!  She’s no turkey!

Now take a look at me without makeup. In one photo the lighting is more natural. In the other, the lighting is more subdued and my hair—or the hair that’s left on my head is cascading over my face to hide some of the many flaws.

Both photos, no makeup. Actually the photo in the subdued light looks much worse than the one of me in regular light.  My lips need some toning down. I have a bit of rosacea. Look. One nostril is larger than the other. That’s because I had a serious Afrin addiction when I was in my thirties.  Back then I didn’t need tweezers in every purse. I carried nasal spray in every purse instead! I was trying to look like Salma Hayek in that other pic –I couldn’t get my hair wet!

I got something to tell youse.  I ain’t getting rid of my makeup. I ain’t leavin’ my house makeup free either! Not now. Not ever. Never!

The only place these eye shadows are going are on my eye lids!

I keep my beauty assistants close by…

I have trunks full of stuff I’ve never even used!

My new brushes now have a special place on my vanity. They are for MY vanity!

The last time I left the house makeup free, with my hair in a bun, I was referred to as “sir”.  My bun must have looked like one of those man buns—or “muns” because of my receding hairline and I’m sure I needed a lip and chin wax.  I rest my case!

Yeah.  Hair back. No makeup.  A bit late to wax the lip and chin. And I”m called “sir”!  Hmmm.. Just like “Sir” Ray Davie and “Sir” Paul McCartney.  I would rather be called Her Highness!

Those crazy celebrities.  Yeah—you can go makeup free when you are younger.  Hell, when I was young I never needed foundation.  I didn’t even wear eyeliner until I reached my thirties!

When I was young it was lip gloss, blush and mascara.  I always had Angel Face pressed powder in my purse because of my then oily “T” zone.  Which I now wish would return!

As a teen, I was never without my Pond’s Angel Face pressed powder. I can still remember the lovely scent it had!

And as I aged—cosmetics became my new best friend.   My once peaches and cream complexion turned into one of dried fruit and sour milk—but sour milk that has been in the fridge that there is a dry-cracked coating. (Yes. This happens. Trust me.  I’ve left milk in the fridge that long).

Foundation brings a new glow to my skin and evens the tone out.

See what I mean. I’m NOT wearing a ton of makeup in this pic.  Just enough to enhance my bone structure and features.  And to NOT make me look like a “sir”!

  And all the products that I very carefully apply, some days more carefully than others, I think of as my little assistants.  Because they assist in enhancing the features that I have to bring life back into them.

And I’m not fond of an overly made up look anyway.  I did an experiment a while back. If you may or may not recall–I decided to make myself up like a Kardashian (click the Kardashian name to read the post)

This was my homage to Khloe–when she wore her hair back.  Now you know why I love to dye my hair–those gray roots look horrific!

This look scared me because Bonaparte liked it so much! Jesus!  Look at my crepey neck!  

It took me forever to slop all those cosmetics upon my face. I needed a nap after I was done.  It’s too much work. I’ll settle for less makeup and more enhancing!  But my point IS cosmetics are a good thing–even better if they make you feel confident!  Right??

So please. I don’t want to be a part of any  movement that feels women should free themselves of cosmetics.

I’m still trying to deal with the militant group who feel women should go gray!  You want to sport gray hair, go do it. But don’t tell me that I should follow suit!  I’m quite comfortable in my naturally dyed jet black #1 hair.

In the end, no matter whether or not we wear makeup. Or whether or not we let our tresses go gray, we are all beautiful people.

Melanie knows that–she sang a beautiful song about it!

  Makeup Free Movement? Nope. I’m of the Make Me Up Movement!!! CAVEAT:  This post would have been published last night. But my &*()&*(&* damn laptop stinks.  My finger touched…