#I see her as that “bad influence” parent who's super indulgent with her kid and cheers on their mischief 😂 (or even joins in)

[duusheen]

Once in a while i remember Doras gen goal include 4 children and i honestly cant see Pandora as a mom of four 😂 and adopted?? I can see her having a oopsie baby but choosing to adopt a baby is idk so not her?

I can see her maybe taking a child under her wing if idk maybe she killed their parents for yaoko and she feels bad or maybe she finds one in need, honestly im so curious to see how youre gonna make that work out

Honestly, I’m really looking forward to that part of her story 😂 Pandora is so bad with men that none of them would even get close enough to give her an oopsie baby. And with how things are right now, a baby would have her running for the hills all the way to the other side of the world 🤣🤣 But who knows, maybe in the future and with the right partner 😭

I think for the Pandora we have now, adopting a kid would be the last thing on her mind if she had the chance 🤣 If it were up to her, she'd probably find them a family, and if she had no other choice, well… her parents always wanted more kids, so she'd just hand them over 🫠 But her? Taking care of a human being? I can’t even give her a pet because all she wants to do is gamble and punch people 😭

[emersonfreepress]

okay so is there content that you had planned for the ROs and story in general but then scrapped cause there wasn’t a good place in the story to stick it in? and if so, can you share what it was? 👀 👀 👀

yes, definitely. *rubs hands together* oh man, you done asked THE question today xD I can't wait to get into this 😁

Academics. I almost decided to have classes and grades be a minor part of gameplay, but the more time I spent designing it the more I realized I wanted nothing to do with it 😂 I haven’t really enjoyed academic gameplay in other interactive fiction because I 1) hate having to choose between studying and interacting with awesome characters, 2) have terrible short term memory, and 3) hate school in general!! So instead I just opted to have the MC be really good at school, point blank period so I could focus on social drama and relationships instead! 😆

Physical skills. I spent literal months crafting the catering scene around setting up stats for stamina/endurance, dexterity, and strength instead of just magnetism, confidence, and persuasion. They had their own backstories with the MC’s parents being overly invested sports parents instead and I think the background choices were like... martial arts, gymnastics, and track? But yeah, I ended up scrapping it all because I was spending hours on research about those individual sports so I could integrate them into the MC’s narrative organically but like... when I tried to think of what use they would be in the actual story, I came up blank. Best decision yet, esp since it means a lot less coding!

Skin tone customization. For one, I noticed that a lot of my favorite IFs don’t offer that customization and it hasn’t impacted my experience at all. For two, I originally realized I might as well not implement it since I am striving real hard not to introduce any customization that won’t actually be mentioned in interesting or meaningful ways in-story. I don’t think it’s really all that common for real life friends (esp in high school?) to comment or compliment each other’s skin and like... when it comes from someone who doesn’t share a similar complexion or ethnic background, that type of commentary gets... d i c e y. So then I wanted to be sensitive to that but what’s the pay-off? An RO mentioning how they love your skin tone once? Awkward sentences with the MC referring to their own skin color? Idk, just wasn’t vibing with it. I’m open to revisiting it in beta or something but for now it’s scrapped.

Singing, Rapping, and Gaming as Hobbies/Talents. I feel bad about scrapping these, honestly 😂 They’re great and I really wanted to incorporate them but it just came down to already having a lot of stuff to code. Plus, I know I can write the Hobbies/Talents I stuck with far better. And for Book 2 purposes, as well!

Leo. as @sourandflightypeaches ​​ asked me about a long while ago, I had to scrap an entire RO 😢 His name is Leo, he was the nephew of wealthy west African diplomats residing in Emerson, and I love him dearly! His backstory was largely based on my mother’s childhood and the circumstances she lived through after immigrating to America. and... ok, i’m about to go on one hell of a tangent so buckle up and bear with me if you can 😅

my intention with this story, aside from writing things that I personally enjoy (graphic violence, spooky woods, social drama, romance, conspiracies 😚), is to explore greed, wealth, and how the ways people and families interact with those two things influence young people and who they grow up to be. here i go sounding pretentious af 😝 and here’s where I apply a cut for those who want to preserve a little mystery to the main characters!

With Gabe, we’ve got someone who grew up with very little stability or financial security but who has found unscrupulous methods to gain status and money, with both noble and selfish motivations.

Kile has some of that childhood experience in common with Gabe, having been in the foster care system since infancy, but they lucked out when they were adopted into massive wealth by a caring, loving couple—a couple that uses their wealth and privilege to be far more lenient and protective of Kile than is actually reasonable or responsible.

Jack comes from a prestigious wealthy family on his dad’s side who he loves dearly but there’s no getting around the fact that they love him back as much as they despise his working class mom.

Jessie is a spoiled sweet heiress (being the baby of her family and the only girl) and while she lives blissfully ignorant of the harmful source and impact of her father's income and career, she bears the weight of the expectation to fulfill very traditional gender roles, including her behavior and appearance, but also extending to her career and life plans.

Rain's wealth led to them growing up sheltered and isolated but also extremely accommodated, giving them maximum freedom and opportunity to discover and develop their personal talents and interests. However, they have almost no positive relationship with their parents who have essentially decided to give up on a kid that couldn't be exactly the accessory they tried to mold them to be—both in terms of their identity and personality.

Rupan/Rohan, at their very core, rejects everything about conformity, self-importance, and excessive luxury—which means they have never, ever truly fit in with their peers. Going full non-conformist, however, has resulted in them becoming alienated from much of their family, as well, despite them all loving each other very much. Their history with false friends and betrayals has led them to over-indulge in their vices and reckless behavior to compensate for that isolation. Sometimes, they just get in over their head and many times, they know better. Every time, it's just that the feeling of finally belonging is utterly intoxicating.

Vivian/Vincent has two extremely successful parents who didn't inherit but instead built up their wealth and they aspire to be just like them, to a degree that is well and truly unhealthy. Their mother specifically is an over-achiever and applies mountainous pressure for them to follow in her footsteps, especially academically. Vi is completely capable of achieving what their mom expects of them, but they were already an extremely sensitive perfectionist so this has made them intensely critical of themself. This is a large part of why they are such a rigid, no-nonsense person and that in turn has made them one of the most disliked people among their peers—which is a huge personal failure to them since their father is a very well-liked and socially successful person in town.

And the Emersons are peak privilege: inherent high social status, brains, looks, charisma, athleticism, and massive wealth. They could never have been anything less than extremely popular, just by virtue of their last name and the nature of the town's social dynamics and politics. And they do enjoy that privilege (esp Curt lol). However, it should go without saying that being so high profile, even (or maybe especially) just in the isolated scope of your hometown, isn't always a boon. Their family's and their own perceived failings are widely discussed and privately mocked and/or celebrated. Real friends are scarce while fake ones and snakes are plentiful. Plus their dad is a gigantic dickhead who sees his kids as extensions of his own status and reputation and not much else. Public shortcomings make for an unbearable time at home and the world outside the estate is at once overly accommodating, full of assumptions, and even subtly hostile at times—all unrelated to their own actions or character.

And with the MC, I think the narrative will make it clear there are several ways that story can go. You start off with irresponsible parents that have lost their wealth due to their own mismanagement and material ambitions—how that affects any individual MC should differ based on choices and consequences!

So why bring any of that up when I was supposed to be talking about my cut OC? 😂😂

Leo was going to be the unwelcome recent addition to his uncle’s household, the son of a brother his aunt hates for (petty af) Reasons, and she took that resentment out on him directly by restricting his access to nearly every aspect of the family's wealth. Especially material goods and living conditions. He was basically treated like the help, tasked with playing nanny for his many younger cousins and burdened with doing the homework and providing academic cover for his dumb as rocks cousin in the same grade as you all. To sum it up, he was basically a victim of trafficking at the hands of his own family with his uncle out of town enough to feign ignorance to how bad his wife was treating his nephew and his aunt going out of her way to keep him busy, at home, and isolated. This is sadly a super common form of trafficking in Francophone African cultures (although I don't think most people view it as trafficking. and I’m sure the same is true of other cultures but I don’t want to speak outside of my purview). And like I mentioned above, it’s how my own mom's (and idek how many cousins') child/teenhood went.

It’s a perspective on modern wealth, privilege and greed that I really, really wanted to tell. I am confident in saying it hasn't been explored in interactive fiction yet (though correct me—and direct me 👀—if I'm wrong) and out of all the wealth/greed explorations I came up with, it's the one I have the closest personal ties to and the strongest feelings about. The characters and plans I had for it were detailed and I'm proud of them but at the end of the day... I just couldn't find a place for Leo in the story at large.

Leo was, in fact, the last main character I came up with, when I had already designed and fleshed out the larger story and started crafting the timeline of major events. I think the worst thing I could have done for a story and perspective that I care about this much is shove it into a plot that didn't have room for it at the very base level, regardless of how well the character or his story is written. Shoe-horned characters always stick out. I didn’t want to disservice Leo by having him be the character that did nothing or could be removed from the main plot without affecting it at all, y’know? That’s so much worse than just forgoing the indulgence, imo :((

ugh.... Leooooo 😭 I'm so sorry bb, I failed youuu 😥

[ribcage-rodents]

Post two

Diana

Diana smiled indulgently resting a hand on Donna’s shoulder.

“Hello Donna, it is wonderful to see you again, I have some exciting news.”

Donna

She fidgeted awkwardly trying to act like she hadn't been eavesdropping.

Diana

“You are finally going to see the Man’s World. Go pack your bags, we will leave once you say your goodbyes. We can discuss the rules of your mission in my plane.”

Her excitement was only shown by the joyful flash in her eyes.

Donna attempted to keep her face in a soft smile with her eyes telling her emotions

much like her older sister does, as she made her way towards her home.

Scene 6

Bruce sat at the kitchen counter a cup of steaming coffee in one hand, while his face rested heavily in the other.

Alfred

Alfred curved around Bruce to top off his drink and use a rag to clean up a puddle of coffee Bruce had spilled while complaining about League business.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just let the boy have friends, master Bruce.”

Bruce

Bruce looked up exasperated from where his face was resting.

“Because Dick is more skilled and intelligent than all of those other ‘heroes’. I don’t want him to be influenced by those immature, idiotic, side kicks. Who knows what one of those older kids could encourage him to do!? He’s much safer at home.”

He said moving his hand sharply to the left spilling coffee all over the counter.

Alfred sighed deeply moving to clean up the coffee, sending Bruce a disapproving stare while he sheepishly averted his gaze. Dick was upstairs in his beautiful, pink-marbled bathroom leaning over the counter worriedly applying concealer to purple bruises on his neck as Tate Agile played in the background, he stopped for a moment to read to a text from ‘science lab partner’.

Dick

“Come on dude, it's not that big of a deal Bs never gonna know”

Dick sighed becoming even more concerned, he glanced in the mirror frowning at his reflection before replying.

“Idk Babs, I’d be in a ton of trouble if B found out”

He stared at his phone for a couple of seconds then added,

“Especially since you’re like a little too old for me”

Dick’s hand squeezed around his phone as he shut his eyes, he counted to ten silently before exhaling. Pretending he wasn’t waiting for her response he went back to covering up the bruises on his neck, despite his eyes flicking back over to the black screen every couple of seconds.

Yet when the phone finally pinged he hesitated, it wasn't until the second text arrived that he actually answered.

“No, our age difference really isn’t that big, if you think about it people get married with like a 10 year diff.”

“Are you gonna come out w me tonight?”

Dick sighed softly, his cheeks lighting up pink.

“Yeah I got some free time around 12-2am. But we’re just gonna hang out ok, just like a little bit of kissing. No making out or hickies or anything.”

His phone pinged again.

“Haha yeah sure that's what you said last time.”

“What's up w your schedule man? 12-2am is so random.”

“You might not need sleep but I do, next time we should just meet up during like second period or something.”

Dick’s frown deepened.

“I’m not skipping school. I think you’re a bad influence on me:(“

“You know we don’t have to do anything when we meet up we could just cuddle or something.”

He paused before deleting the last message.

“Ha, maybe I like making you into a bad boy”

“See you tonight, maybe I’ll make you break into the school to find the best secret makeout place!”

Dick set his phone face down, scratching at his arm he went back to covering up those bruises.

Scene 7

Wally was in his tiny little bathroom that looks like it was designed in the 1950’s. He was leaning over the tiled blue and turquoise countertop messing with his forever windswept hair. There was a loud banging at the door as Wally dragged a brush through the birdsnest on top of his head.

Wally

There was a brief pause before Wally once again dragged the brush through his messy hair. The banging returned causing Wally to jerk smacking his hand against the counter, he turned and opened the door staring annoyed at his uncle.

“What?”

Barry

Barry stared back a pleased smirk on his face leaning against the door frame.

“Come on kiddo, we’re gonna be late.”

He reached out and plucked the brush from Wally’s hand as he spoke.

Wally

Wally did a full body groan leaning back, he shot one last mournful look at himself in the mirror before he moved towards the door, his uncle disappearing into his room. Wally sighed rummaging through his room for his suit. “What's the point of having super speed if you’re gonna be late to everything?”

Barry

Barry zipped over to his nephew ruffling his hair, effectively ruining any improvement Wally had managed.

“I ask myself the same question everyday when I show up late for work.”

Flying down the streets of central the two speedsters made haste, two flashes of red and yellow sped down the streets and around buildings. Stopping quickly at a hotdog vendor, handing the man a red credit card decorated with tiny lightning bolts, the city's way of thanking the heroes. Before getting back on the road.

Flash

“So kiddo, are ya nervous?”

Flash called stuffing a whole hot dog in his mouth.

Kidflash

Kidflash made a contemplative noise, looking down at his feet.

“Well yeah, I’m not exactly good at making friends,... or being cool.”

Both speedsters came to a halt, Kidflash resumed looking down self-deprecatingly, shoving the last 12 hotdogs into his mouth. Flash slipped behind him resting a hand on his shoulder.

Flash

“Don’t worry kiddo, just be yourself they’re gonna love you!”

He punctuated his statement by ruffling his nephew’s hair one last time. The two then proceeded, one at a time to enter the transporter.

Scene 8

Kidflash stepped into the JL headquarters quickly moving to catch up with his uncle as he sped towards the monitor room.

Flash

“Welcome to the Justice League break room!”

Flash called happily swinging his arms open to fully display the room. He leaned in close,

“It used to just be the monitor room but we all started to hang around here, mostly because Wonder Woman and Supes like to annoy Bats.”

He said with a nod.

Wonder Girl sat alone on the edge of one of the ugly green couches, sipping on a mug of herbal tea periodically.

Flash

Flash bumped his shoulder against Kidflash’s, whispering an encouraging,

“You got this kiddo!”

The Flash then departed, walking over towards Batman and Wonder Woman chatting by the supercomputer both holding steaming cups of coffee.

Kidflash

Taking a deep breath and gathering all his courage Kidflash confidently strided over to where Wonder Girl was perched. Looming over her he plastered on his best ‘Wall-man’ smirk. Wonder Girl cocked a single eyebrow as a supercilious look settled on her lips.

“Hey gorgeous, I hope you brought your library card because you can totally check me out!”

He flinched expecting to be hit or splashed by her tea.

Wonder Girl

“Wow, I’m already regretting this,”

Wonder Girl huffed glaring at Kidflash

“Maybe I should’ve stayed home,”

She mumbled quietly to herself.

Speedy

Speedy came up behind Kf’s right purposely smacking their shoulders together before plopping down on the couch causing Wonder Girl’s tea to slosh spilling over the rim and roll down the side of her thigh.

“Ew, dude have you ever actually gotten a girl with that line?”

He asked his arms resting on the top of the couch. He then raised his hand in a halting motion.

“Nevermind don't answer that, you have loner-loser written all over you.”

Kidflash

Kidflash lost his composure striking his arms out, before bringing his hand back around to point towards himself.

“Hey! I get tons of ladies!”

Speedy

“Yeah whatever dude,”

Speedy cut him off waving his hand still resting on the top of the couch, looking in the opposite direction of the scene before him.

Garth

Garth parted from his King’s side as they entered the break room with a nod, he walked towards the other heroes, his dark eyes calculating.

“Hello, I’m Garth.”

He said before sitting down on the couch next to Speedy.

Speedy

Speedy made a face.

“Great intro fishboy! But shouldn’t you have like a superhero name?”

Garth

“No, I don’t have a secret identity.”

Garth spoke, his tone relaying how idiotic he thought Speedy was.

Kidflash

“What about protecting your family man?”

Kidflash asked, lifting both his eyebrows, he was never able to just move one, leaning towards Garth.

Garth

Garth’s eyebrows pulled together as frustration took over.

“I don't wear a mask, villains will know who I am regardless.”

Speedy

“Wonder Girl doesn’t wear a mask,”

Speedy said leering at Garth.

“Maybe we should come up with a dumb superhero name for you, personally I like Fishboy!”

Kidflash laughed loudly, Wonder Woman groaned standing up and walking towards her sister.

She was stopped by the Flash calling them over in an energetic voice waving the rest of the sidekicks towards them.

Green Arrow

Green arrow spoke first giving all of the teens a cursory glance before focusing completely on his own sidekick.

“Now listen up, this mission is very important to your future as legitimate heroes.”

Within his brief pause Black Canary sighed heavily at Green Arrow's natural talent for being a terrible parent. He moved one hand to his hip as he spoke lightly elbowing Aquman in the process.

“All ya gotta do is sit and watch your targets,”

Once again there was a lapse in his speech when he turned to check that Batman had brought up the images of the targets and the suspicious big black bags, as well as the address of their hideout. After seeing Batman had in fact project the correct information, Green Arrow nodded to himself before turning back toward the sidekicks. Jerking his thumb backwards, he continued.

“These are them.”

He took a moment to clear his throat at the odd phrasing.

Flash

Flash took that moment to take over patting his colleague’s shoulder as he stepped closer to the center of the group.

“We’ve been monitoring these guys’ set up for a couple weeks. We think that they’re smuggling something illegal in those big black bags-”

Speedy

“What do you mean “illegal” things?! Don't we get to know if there's gonna be guns or drugs or something, idiot-man!”

Speedy cut in sharply placing both hands on his hips and leaning forward, aggressively sneering in the Flash’s face.

Green arrow placed a hand on each side of Speedy’s chest pushing him back as Flash stood there shocked.

Flash

“So we’ll drop ya off at their hideout, be very careful sneaking into the building and while choosing stalking positions. If they begin to pack up and leave or the situation starts to turn violent, stay safe and contact us before attempting to fight. If they have guns, retreat to the transporter immediately.

Batman then swiveled around in his chair, sending a questioning glance at Wonder Woman from across the room, ignoring the conclusion of Superman’s story much to his disappointment.

Batman

“Why would you send these children out into the field if you don't trust them to fight without supervision?”

It was a statement rather than a question, challenging all of the other mentors.

Wonder Woman answered anyway with a judgemental look of her own, but Green Arrow was the one who spoke.

Green arrow

Green arrow took several long strides towards batman.

“Well we’re not just gonna leave our kids at the mercy of a bunch of gun wielding scumbags. I mean, Flash can’t even stand a chance against a handgun, do ya think any side kick could survive that?!”

Batman

Batman glared at him but spoke in a calm voice, only failing a little to keep the smugness out of his tone.

“Robin could.”

Aquaman

Green Arrow geared up to make another loud and spity remark but Aquaman spoke up for the first time since the debriefing began.

“If he is so proficient then why is he not here?”

He questioned with far more smugness in his tone.

Batman

“Because Robin is currently working on his own personal mission tonight.”

The statement was followed by Batman swinging his chair back around and continuing to type up a mission statement.

The group dispersed most of the sidekicks getting last minute pep talks, Kidflash who reached out to his uncle grabbing his elbow as he went to go carbo-load.

Flash

The flash turned to look at his nephew.

“What’s up kiddo?”

He asked, placing a hand on each of his shoulders looking at his face in concern.

Kidflash

Kidflash looked down taking a deep breath before locking eyes with his uncle.

“I-I don't know if I can do this uncle B.”

Flash

Flash answered with a sigh rubbing rough but soothing circles on his shoulders and nape.

“Alright listen kiddo, ya made a jerk out of yourself.”

kidflash‘s face whipped up to face his uncle.

“I know I flirt with all the ladies but I do so in a joking manner that means no harm or a promise for furthering the relationship...just apologize to Wonder Girl.”

Kidflash made a face at the ground scuffing his shoe against the shiny tile floor.

“Make some small talk when appropriate on the mission and you’ll have three new best friends in no time!”

Flash turned him around to face the other sidekicks and smacked him on the back pushing him forward.

Scene 9

A wide shot of the seedier area of Arizona, several of the lamp posts have been shattered and no longer work, streams of light shine across the wet road through boarded up windows of an old warehouse. The sidekicks crouched behind a stack of molding crates, listening intently as the goons played cards and chatted about their personal lives, peering at them periodically.

Roy

Roy groaned softly clunking his head against the rotten wood.

“This is so boring! They aren’t doing anything, I say we just jump ‘em now!”

Roy whispered looking expectantly at his teammates.

Garth

Garth glared annoyed, grabbing Speedy’s wrist in a surprisingly strong grip.

“We were given direct orders-”

Speedy

Speedy shoved his flat palm into Garth’s face creating space between them.

“Calm down Fishboy, I’d never go against our wise and fearless mentors’ orders,”

Speedy sneered, ripping his arm from Garth and rubbing his wrist.

[lady-divine-writes]

Coldflash Bingo - “Subversive” (Rated PG)

Summary: When Barry discovers something dangerous hidden underneath their daughter's bed, he jumps to conclusions that prove the trust Len broke between them hasn't entirely healed. (1757 words)

Notes: Written for the @coldflashweeks Bingo card prompt 'Father Len'.

Part 6 of Father-hood

Read on AO3.

“Did you have a good time at the museum today, Bug?” Len asks, fishing a ring of keys out of his pocket.

“Yup!” Lisa chirps, beaming at her father as if today, Friday April 12th, were Christmas. “Loads!”

“Really? It’s only what? The fifty-six hundredth time you’ve been there?”

“True, but I rarely get to go there with you.” She takes his arm and hugs it tight. “Thanks so much for agreeing to chaperone this time.”

Len stops messing with the front door and drops a kiss on the top of her head. “Any time. The Central City Museum happens to hold a special place in my heart. I’m sorry that I was nabbed by security for clearance before I could go in. I hope that wasn’t too embarrassing for you.”

“Nuh-uh! That was awesome! Watching you get interrogated by CCPD like some undercover super spy, knowing they were going to let you go the second they called Dad! But it wasn’t entirely fair, either.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you got marked for being an ex-criminal. But there are a bunch of kids in my class whose parents actually are criminals. Like every day.”

Len arches an eyebrow. “Like who?”

“Donna Bright’s dad is insider trading. Liam’s mom prints counterfeit coupons and sells them on the Internet. And pretty much every single one of Patty Roster’s older brothers are selling drugs.”

“You don’t say …” Len files that information away, making a mental note to do a background check on the parents of everyone else in Lisa’s grade. “That’s good to know.”

He finally gets his key in the lock and the door open. The second they do, they’re greeted by a sizzle of red and a pair of fiery eyes.

“What is this!?” Barry demands, holding his hands open for Len and Lisa to see.

“What’s what, Daddy?” Lisa asks, looking at her father strangely.

“Yeah. Don’t play the pronoun game with us, Red. We just walked through the door.”

“This!” Barry looks at his hands, but there’s nothing in them. He rolls his eyes, zips back upstairs, and returns, holding something that looks suspiciously like a gun up to Len’s face.

“Oh, that.” Len grins. “That’s …”

“… a cold gun! I know! I found it in Lisa’s room! And it’s child sized! I mean, where would you even get something like this? Actually, don’t tell me! I’m sure you have all sorts of connections in the seedy black underworld of Central City …”

Len snickers. “Seedy black underworld? And you say I talk like a comic book villain.”

“… and if you tell me about them,” Barry rants on, “I’m going to have to run out and round everyone up! You included!”

“Daddy?” Len feels Lisa grab his hand and squeeze, genuine fear vibrating through her whole body.

“Now hold on, Red. Don’t start jumping to any conclusions.”

“How can I not when I find things like this hidden underneath Lisa’s bed?”

“Why don’t you ask me what that is before you start talking about dragging me off to Iron Heights … in front of our daughter?”

“I’m sorry, Lisa,” Barry says to his frightened little girl. “I really am. But this is serious, Len! I know you like to play around with her, break into STAR Labs and Queen Tower, and we all indulge you. But there has to be a line! This isn’t a toy and it isn’t a game! This can have a very real effect on her life! We talked about that!”

“Yeah, we talked about it,” Len says. “That’s why I didn’t give her a cold gun!”

“Oh yeah? Then how did she get this?”

“I built it!” Lisa interjects. “Mommy helped me!”

“I find it hard to believe that your mother would help you build a cold gun!”

“It’s not a cold gun!”

“What is it then?”

“It’s a polarizing deflector,” Len declares, though not entirely square on what those words mean. The gun in Barry’s hands is heavy and expensive – that he knows. “Otherwise known as a digital beam steering device. Lisa designed it for the school science fair, and Felicity had Cisco build it. Lisa asked him to make it look like my cold gun because she thought it’d be cool.”

“But I don’t like the color,” Lisa admits. “So I’m going to re-paint it. Pink, I think.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Barry asks.

“Because I wanted it to be a surprise! That’s why I hid it under my bed. I didn’t think you’d look there!”

“If you’d stop hiding Brussel sprouts under your bed, I wouldn’t have to look under there!” Barry runs a hand through his hair and goes quiet. He’s thinking, but he doesn’t lift his eyes to look at them, and the expression on his face, Len can’t read. It’s a mixture of anger and confusion, sadness and defeat. It breaks Len’s heart because he never intended this discussion to end this way – not with Barry looking like he’s lost some huge battle when there wasn’t one.

“Hey, Lisa?” Len puts a hand on his daughter’s shoulder and steers her toward the kitchen. “Why don’t you go grab yourself a snack while I have a little one-on-one with your father?”

“Yeah, okay,” she says, taking her science project out of her father’s hand along the way. “I’ll need to give this a once over. Make sure it wasn’t wrecked or anything.”

After that remark, Barry’s expression goes from defeated to downright fractured.

Len waits until Lisa rounds the corner to the next room before he speaks. “What’s up with you, Red? You’ve been seriously on edge the past couple of days.”

“I have not.”

“Whatever. I know you weren’t too thrilled about missing the field trip today.”

Barry shrugs, but he still doesn’t look at his husband. “I always go on the field trips. I’ve been going on them for years. But she wanted to take you this time around. No harm, no foul.”

“I’m not buying that and you know it.”

Barry shakes his head. Len puts a hand to his husband’s chin, turning his face so he can see his eyes.

“Talk to me, Bare. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Barry sighs. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You don’t deserve it.”

“I’m a big boy. I think I can take it.”

“It’s just … when Felicity had Lisa and we brought her home, I had so many dreams, so many visions of how she’d grow up. How she’d turn out. When you took off, it was just me alone with our little girl, and for a while, she was my mini me. But she’s growing up to be like you more and more every day. And that scares me a little.”

“I wasn’t always a criminal, Red. Once upon a time, I was a little kid like Lisa who wanted to grow up and become something other than my dad. Someone worth knowing. But I lost my way. I’m trying to go back to that. Marrying you, having Lisa, those were all steps in that direction. And I messed up. I know I did. But I’m back on the right track.” Len tilts his head, looking at Barry through narrowed eyelids. “Would it be so bad if our daughter turned out more like me than you?”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Barry says quickly, genuinely. “I think I’m a little jealous that somehow you became the fun parent, and I ended up the strict parent.”

“Oh, Red.” Len wraps his arms around his husband’s waist. “To be honest, I don’t think either of us is the strict parent. I think you’re better at making sure she eats her vegetables and gets to school on time. Otherwise, we’re pretty much the same. A regular bowl of fun.”

Barry shoots Len a confused look. “I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not.”

“You should.” Len pulls him close, kisses him softly on the lips. “And along the vein of being fun parents, I recommend blowing off the rabbit food for tonight and ordering in. Pizza, chicken wings, something deep fried and dipped in chocolate ...”

Barry chuckles. “Not that fun. You’re having a salad with that.”

“As long as it’s a taco salad, it’s all good.”

“You know there’s no such thing as a taco salad.”

“There’s no such thing as a Rocky Mountain Oyster, either, but you don’t see that putting a dent in that industry.”

“Ugh!” Barry pulls a face in disgust. “Fine. But you can order dinner. I don’t have it in me to voluntarily order that much cholesterol.”

“I remember a time when you’d eat that for breakfast.”

“That’s before we had Lisa.” Barry shrugs. “Priorities change. People change.”

“Yes, they do. Please try to remember that more often, will ya?”

Barry nods, then zips away upstairs to finish clearing out rotting food stuffs from under his daughter’s bed before dinner time.

With her father gone, Lisa returns to the living room, apple in one hand, her science project in the other. Barry is right, Len thinks. She’s gone from straight-laced future forensic scientist to Rogue-in-training in a few short years, and Len does feel guilty about that. But he feels a tremendous sense of pride, too. Lisa has positive influences out the ying-yang – Barry, Felicity, Oliver, Cisco, Dr. Snow, Kara Zor-El, all the heavy hitters. A few of them even have their own trading cards. She’s being raised by a community of the smartest, most law abiding and compassionate people on the planet, and it shows. She’s the smartest in her class, and well on her way to skipping enough grades that she might graduate college before she turns eleven.

But somewhere in that exceptional young girl, along with the bright and shining future as a hero and the potential for a Nobel Prize, there’s room for him, too.

She’s the most perfect human that’s ever entered his life. She’s never judged him for being low brow or for his past.

Or for the company he keeps.

She’s the coolest person he’s ever met in the whole damned universe, and he gets the privilege of calling her his daughter.

Len gives his daughter a side-eyed smirk when she shoulders her gun. “Well, then … should we tell Daddy about the matching parkas we bought?”

“No way! Did you see that vein throbbing in his neck?” she says, taking a bite of her apple. “I’m not sure he can handle that right now.”

[goldblcd]

    [ MUSE 84 ] ●● is that SHAWN MENDES? no, that’s just LEO SINCLAIR the 17 year old CIS MALE who is an HS SENIOR. some say they’re UNRULY AND RECKLESS, but their family and friends will swear they’re CHARISMATIC AND EFFERVESCENT. when i think of them, i think of credit cards without limits, hangovers by the pool, late nights in loud places, abandonment issues masked by smiles, one night stands for relationships, visions of a wasted youth. i wonder if their family know that HE WAS INVOLVED IN A HIT AND RUN THAT GOT BLAMED ON SOMEONE ELSE.

i thought i would have more time to get this done and then i’d have a nice bio for you, but alas this mess is all you get. and i almost forgot to introduce myself ! i’m rory and i’m so thankful for everyone who joined this place! i can’t wait to plot and interact with everyone! i have a discord ( calvin and hobbes#5021 ) feel free to add me ! if you want to plot message me there or here or just smash that like button ! 

leopold ( though, EVERYONE just call him leo ) here is seventeen and the youngest in the sinclair family and his mother left only a few months after he was born so he doesn’t remember the woman or really know anything about her or cares about her !!━━ only the last one is a lie and he def deals with a bit of abandonment issue.

he is an extrovert through and through and a very charismatic guy. he is outgoing and has a sort of big and magnetic personality that draws people in, he thrives when he’s around people and hates being alone or when it’s just too quiet. and of course, he loves being the center of attention.

he likes to think of himself as being spontaneous, but really he’s just stupid and reckless. he will do just about anything just for the thrill and just for the FUN because that’s all he truly cares about ! and the fact that he grows bored very easily and is a bit of a restless soul does not help at all.

not a lot of people know is that leo is in fact very smart. like, way above average ( boy is literally a certified genius  ) and for some time he considered going to mit to study mechanical engineering or computer programming, but thinking about college and responsibilities are a nono. he was still accepted into a bunch of colleges, including mit. can you say wasted potential?? scratch all that bc boy is going to MIT and studying electrical engineering & computer science and mechanical engineering.  ( his teacher still begs him to join the robotics club lol )

leo could be the poster boy of abandonment issues. under all the confidence and bravado, he has some underlying self-esteem issues. he thinks there’s something in him that makes it hard for people to love him. so he is always trying to pull the fun guy that everyone wants to be around and he’s good at that. he gotta make sure everyone loves him and he’s best at everything to prove his mom was wrong.

emotional intimacy is a big no-no, and he doesn’t like the idea of people getting too close to how he really feels or what he really thinks because he’s lowkey a sad kid who just wanted his mom to love him lbr. but what is sadness and anxiety???? he doesn’t know her. so yeah he’s a fake pos. very outspoken about anything that doesn’t matter and very secretive about anything else.

just let him bottle everything up and talk a lot of shit for his own amusement, ignores anything serious and he focuses on the easier kind of ‘happiness’. the physical and material pleasures. he’s super self-indulgent and spares no time, money, or energy to get that. not careful at all with the family’s wealth lbr.

and yes i guess he’s a bit of a fuckboi ?? i mean he likes sex and he likes hot people and he hates relationships or commitment or opening up to anyone. he has probably broken some hearts and i wouldn’t be surprised to see some people around there hating on him bc of that. ops !!

so, his secret is that he he was involved in a hit and run that someone else ended up taking the blame for. what i had in mind is that his dad paid someone and the sheriff to make it all go away ( but i gotta plot it first ). what happened was he was drunk and with a friend and they hit someone and just did not look back. ops. 

he also has another secret, though. this one involving the family ! eavesdropped on his father ordering a hit on someone, but tbh leo is not even too sure what he heard ?? because it makes no sense, right ?? he hasn’t told anyone and hasn’t confronted his father bc he’s not sure what to think ?? he is very curious tho so he’ll probably investigate it and get himself into trouble bc it’s what he does.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

brotp ( 0/1 ): this is the ultimate bro! they would have known each other for years now, they’re best friends and everyone knows it. 

the squad ( 00/05  ): pretty simple! give me the kids he hangs with and are just as messy as him !

childhood best friend ( 0/1 ): leo and this person grew up together and have known each other since diapers. their parents are friends and they were probably each other’s first friends. he trusts them a lot and knows he can talk to them about anything and not be judged. maybe it could even be childhood sweethearts? 

team mates( 00/xx ): leo has been qb 1 for the football team since his junior year and has been playing varsaty since his sophomore year. he’s good. and i want all of his teemates to get in trouble with. we can even say they’re state champs bc i make the rules. 

the bad influence ( 00/01 ): give leo someone he can be a bad influence on. someone who is innocent and good and soft and gets involved with leo ( could be just as friends or a fling ) and he will ruin them in the best ways.

the broken heart ( 0/1 ): leo is oblivious to this, but the character is someone who had his heart broken by leo. maybe they are friends, or maybe it’s just someone who had a crush and was turned down for some reason.  

friends with benefits ( 0/2 ): these are just friends who hook up and haven’t blurred the lines between the physical and emotional connection. it’s easy in a very no-strings-attached sort of way, but it doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other as friends. males & females, but dudes would have to keep it on the down low.

friends with benefits & drama ( 0/1 ): the basics of friends with benefits, but these two are actually very possessive over each other? they will tell anyone and everyone they feel nothing for each other but the second the other is with someone they’re playing the part of jealous boyfriend/girlfriend. males or females, but dudes would have to keep it on the down low.

the enemy with benefits ( 00/01 ): they say they don’t like each other and are constantly bickering and giving each other shit, but then they’re losing their clothes and sleeping together.

ex-girlfriend ( 0/1 ): they dated and while it lasted they were the it couple of ashcroft high school, but then he cheated on her ( or we can plot something else too ) and she broke up with him when he found out. leo still cares about her and feel like a jerk for what he did, but what is done is done. maybe there are still some feelings there?

basically, i made this when leo was still august when we last opened and i want you to know that that’s him, just a mess. 

 anything else! 

[oddcoupler222]

The au doesn’t super affect most other characters and their stories. All of the Stark siblings would have the same lives (just, minus Margaery’s direct influence). Willas wouldn’t meet his wife, though, given that she’s someone that Sansa knows, and she sort of sets them up. She worked with her at KLU before Leyla moved to The Reach (where she’s from). And upon discussing the fact that she wanted a dog, Sansa gave her Willas’s name (given that he rehabs and fosters dogs and all).

Gemma when she’s older is also bi, because mark my words, Sansa & Marg aren’t going to raise a straight daughter in this universe (au or otherwise).

And she’s a bit more rebellious/harder to manage when she hits her preteen/teen years than Madelyn and Ellie were -

there’s a lot more on her plate to consider. Sansa’s ex - her other mom - ends up staying with her new wife in the Westerlands, and has a few more kids. She sees them fairly infrequently, and has a lot of resentment toward her other mother for... cheating on Sansa (which she, as a tenacious and inquisitive teen, figures out on her own), for moving away, for not making more of an effort to see her. On top of that, her own life is under a bit of a microscope, given that her stepmom is the Prime Minister

- and on that note, her relationships with Sansa and Margaery are different than the relationships with them that Madelyn and Ellie have. Madelyn and Ellie both generally have easy-going and fairly equally close relationships with both. Gemma is closer to Sansa than Madelyn and Ellie are (very close, very protective) because it was just the two of them for a while. After all, between when her other mom and Sansa broke up to when Sansa marries Margaery, it’s a 5 year time span where they were a 2 woman team.

Margaery... she doesn’t dislike Margaery; when Sansa and Marg are together, at the beginning/when she’s younger, she really likes her. It gets a little rocky, though, when she hits her teens. Margaery becomes Prime Minister, and her other mom has just had another child, so there’s a ton of public attention/scrutiny/pressure on her at the same time that she’s feeling pretty forgotten by her mother. She refers to her as Margaery, because, I mean... she has 2 moms already, Margaery didn’t marry Sansa until she was almost 10 years old. This changes when:

Due to some skipping class and getting into fights with some kids in school when she’s 13/14 (generally for reasons, she feels, are justified. Some kids mocking her, people making comments about Sansa, people who talk shit about Marg as she’s running for PM), she leaves the school (a public but like... nice public school; they live in a great district, after all. It’s the school Madelyn and Ellie attend), and ends up going to a private school.

This comes along with a long, heartfelt talk with Sansa, where she sees that her behavior is really affecting her mom (who is really worried about her acting out and is trying to do everything she can to make all of these changes in her life easier), and she feels badly about it. So she decides that at her new school she’s going to make more of an effort.

The kids at her new school are kind of snobbier, clique-ier, but Gemma isn’t super concerned about making great impressions (she’s fairly quiet, unlike Madelyn is, and it’s not really because she’s shy, like Ellie. She’ll say what she wants/needs to say and that’s that). She makes a couple of good friends with some of the quieter/loner type kids, and stays mostly out of trouble there.

It’s there where she meets Harper Fell, her future Love of Her Life, who happens to be the most popular girl in school - president of the honor society and captain of the cheerleading squad (because of course). Her parents are very wealthy, from the Stormlands, and put a lot of pressure on her to do well and be as Picture Perfect as possible (classic bitchy popular girl exterior with a plethora of vulnerability underneath, plus some latent lesbianism that she is struggling with).

So... when Gemma enrolls - a pretty, witty girl who inherently gets a lot of attention, who is parented by 2 women (and will later come out - loudly and boldly - as bi, herself) in general - they don’t... necessarily get along.

Tensions between them come to a head a few months in gym class, which sort of results in an all out fight. Harper gets a huge punishment and essentially told to stay away from Gemma (somewhat labeled as a “problem child”), and she... sort of listens to them after that, because Gemma makes her Feel Things that she Doesn’t Want to Feel.

It results in a nice bonding for Gemma & Margaery, though, as Gemma is sitting in the office and waiting for “her mom” to come -- she knows Sansa is at a symposium for KLU a couple hours away and she has a somewhat (naive) hope that maybe they meant Arianne.

But it’s Margaery who walks into the office and talks to the headmaster. Gemma is admittedly a bit surprised to see her, because it’s in the middle of the day and Margaery is really busy (as the PM and all). But it leads to a much needed conversation between them -

“You look surprised to see me,” Margaery comments, settling into the seat next to Gemma, placing her hands in her lap, looking at her with a softly questioning look (she has learned to walk some boundaries with Gemma in the last few years; there has been a “you’re not my mom” comment thrown here and there during rougher points. Not often and she feels badly about it after, but - yeah).

“I guess I am. I know you have a lot going on,” she mumbles, looking down. “Did mom ask you to come?”

Margaery shakes her head, “No; they weren’t able to get a hold of your mom right away while she’s at her conference. And I’ve told my staff to greenlight calls from you or your school.”

“You’re on the call list for my school?” Gemma’s eyes were wide, the surprise in her voice clear.

“Of course,” Margaery lightly jostles her shoulder with her own, giving her a long, imploring look, “I do have a lot going on, you’re right. But you come first.”

“Because you love my mom,” she whispered, biting at the inside of her cheek.

“Because I love you,” she corrected, softly, but she didn’t know what else to say, before reaching out to grab her hand. Gemma easily flipped hers over, far easier than she had for Margaery in the last few years.

She didn’t waste her opportunity, lacing her fingers through her stepdaughters, “You know that no matter what I’m always honest with you.”

She hesitated, and Gemma did too, just letting the words sit there for a minute. But as she thought about it, she realized... it was true. Her mother - well, she lied to her all of the time. About when she was going to come to visit, when she was going to have Gemma come and see her. About a lot of stuff. And her mom - well, she never lied about those things, but she knew she lied to her about little things. Her mom never lied about things that hurt her or lied about being there for her, not once. But about things to try to make her mother’s lies seem less bad, to try to make her not hurt as much.

Turning a bit in her chair, she took in Margaery, who was giving her a look she’d gotten countless times in the last nine years. Serious but warm, imploring and expectant. And no matter what, she thought, Margaery never lied to her. She told her the truth, about what to expect even when it wasn’t something she wanted to hear. She was yielding sometimes and matter-of-fact during others.

But, she squeezed Margaery’s hand a little tighter, much like her mom, she was always there when she said she would be.

“I’ll tell you that I never imagined myself being a mother,” Margaery held her eye contact, taking a deep breath, “And yes, your mom is a big reason of how and why that changed for me; but if something happened tomorrow where I could no longer be with your mom -”

“You’d be devastated,” she interjected, the sass that seemed always present with her making a return as she shot Margaery a half-smile. Teasing.

Which she indulged in, grinning back, “I would be.” The smile fell away, though, as she squeezed Gemma’s hand back, “But I would still need you to know, that you changed things for me, too. I know I’m not your mom, Gemma, but I do love you. Very much.”

For a moment, everything froze for her. It was the honesty in her stepmom’s eyes, the fact that no matter how many times in the last couple of years she’d pushed her away, she’d never stopped being there. The many afternoons when she’d been younger where Margaery had spent painting her nails, the amount of mornings she’d cuddled with her while her mom was up and about, watching cartoons that she knew now Margaery did not like, the nights where - after her mom, who easily fell asleep so early - she’d sat up with her when she didn’t feel well.

The sheer amount of times Margaery showed she loved her without pushing her too far.

It made her feel like her throat was closing a bit on her as she used her other hand to rub at her eyes. She jumped as the door swung open again, and it was only in the face of who must be Harper Fell’s mother, looking pissed, that she realized they were still in the office.

She wondered, for a moment, if she was going to say something to her -- but then saw the way her jaw clenched as her gaze fell to Margaery. Who had been so open with her even in small ways, but now sat at attention, leaning in a bit in front of her.

“Can we go home?” the words left her in a hush, as Mrs. Fell walked into the actual principal’s office where she knew Harper still sat.

“Of course, come on,” Margaery tugged on her hand a bit as they stood, before she took the soft scarf from around her neck and looped it around Gemma’s, “It’s cold out,” she muttered, tucking it around her neck, and Gemma couldn’t even find it in her to be embarrassed. “And don’t think,” Margaery murmured as she wrapped her arm around her shoulder, “That we aren’t going to have a long talk about fighting in school.”

She rolled her eyes, lips upticking into a half-smile even as it stung from the cut on her lip, “Don’t worry, momgaery, you didn’t help raise an idiot. I didn’t think otherwise.”

(of course they have a few bumps along the way, but that afternoon was a turning point for their relationship. Momgaery becomes a fairly permanent nickname, and she does trust Marg after this to tell her the truth. She realizes, also, with a bit more time and maturity that Margaery really is more of a parent to her than Arianne, Sansa’s ex)

Now, onward!

After the gym class brawl, Gemma keeps her nose clean. She skips a few classes here and there, gets close to a couple of friends, and does well in her classes even though she doesn’t enjoy school very much (less than Madelyn and Ellie do). She comes out when she’s 16 and takes another girl - someone who is just a friend but still - to their school formal. She and Harper remain on one another’s radars, but largely keep to ignoring one another or snide commentary otherwise.

In her final year of high school, she and Harper are paired together on a project in their English class. Which they work on at Gemma’s house because Harper is not supposed to spend time with Gemma (her parents are also not super accepting and aren’t big fans of Margaery’s politics) esp after she herself came out and all.

And she’s a little /prickly/ about working together, but ultimately is really curious about Gemma’s house and about meeting both Sansa and Margaery, who she is actually super polite to and it seems genuine, which makes Gemma be like... “okay I guess there is a person under there.” Which just continues when Sansa asks her to stay for dinner, and Harper spends the entire time fairly quiet.

(for her part -- she’s kind of amazed. Because family dinners at her house consist of her parents - if they’re home - having really cordial conversation, or quiet/tense arguments. And/or putting intense pressure on her. And both Sansa and Margaery aka the prime minister both seem so happy? and they clearly love Gemma? and they laugh and tease and even when Margaery isn’t there, Sansa is so nice and she seems to close to Gemma...

and don’t even get her started on Gemma because ever since this one day last year when she saw Gemma at the formal dancing with another girl, leaning all close and laughing, she got this feeling in the pit of her stomach that was warm and good and alarming, and she’s been trying to avoid looking at how nice her smile is and how soft her hair looks ever since)

They end up not having a horrific time during that night, and throughout the next two weeks work well together outside of school, even culminating in Gemma asking Harper if she wants to stay a little later and watch a movie, since they were actually laughing together for once.

Which makes Harper sober up a little and she is feeling that feeling, and she withdraws a bit and snaps out a “No! I don’t want to stay longer than I have to.”

and Gemma is a bit fed up because, “I just don’t get you!”

Which culminates in an argument and, “At school you walk around like you own the place, like you have to be the prettiest, most perfect girl ever and no one dare even come near you and then here you act like a real person.”

“You... think I’m pretty?” she shouldn’t care about that, but it’s what she’s focusing on, and even though she technically has been dating Quentyn Cole - a popular, attractive boy who goes to their school - she has never cared so much about what he’s thought of her. Or felt anything when he complimented her.

Gemma, still annoyed, has her arms crossed, “Of course I think you’re pretty, everyone thinks you’re pretty, you’re -”

Aaaand Harper cuts her off with a kiss, which is fleeting and just a meeting of lips, really - but it leaves both of their heads spinning. And Gemma is shocked and of course she’s always thought Harper was gorgeous and smart but - but. But. She never thought...

And when Harper realizes what she’s doing, she essentially runs out of there.

The next day, when Gemma has had the night to process and freak out and process and try to get her shit together, she pulls Harper aside and, “You kissed me.”

“Shh!” because she did, but she shouldn’t have, and... like, she wants to, again. 

Anyway, so this whole thing ends up in a top secret cold war at school/to the public front, meanwhile making out behind the bleachers and at Gemma’s house when she believes her parents won’t find out (they both totally know). A lot of hanging out at Gemma’s house, a lot of movie nights and quiet evenings and getting to know each other a lot more. Featuring sneaking around, Harper leaving parties thrown by her friends to go to Gemma’s instead.

It’s a lot of making out and a lot of realizing they have the same taste in tv shows and movies and teasing about their opinions and favorite characters. Harper sort of talking about why they can’t go to her house/her issues with her parents. A night where Harper had a bad day and they end up cuddling in Gemma’s bed, and they mostly only talk in whispers.

But eventually, nearing the end of their final year in school - after about 8 months of this little affair - it’s getting to be a lot for both of them. Because Gemma kind of really has feelings for Harper and it really hurts seeing her at school with her boyfriend and not even able to talk when they’ve become actual friends/more.

And Harper is... she knows her parents would freak out more than ever if she told them and would very possibly do whatever they could to stop That from happening, and she’s terrified to tell them or her friends. Which is also hard because she wants to be with Gemma, and she gets jealous of her friends who get to be with her all of the time.

All coming to a head when they’re talking about their end of the year dance, about a month before they graduate. Because instead of going into their clandestine behind the bleachers post-cheerleading practice make out, Harper has her arms crossed, “I heard you’re going with Lyra Tallhart to the dance.”

“Lyra’s my friend.”

“Who’s also a lesbian, and probably likes you,” she throws back and she hates this feeling like she’s choking on what she actually wants to say and feel.

And Gemma can’t argue with that because Lyra makes flirty comments to her and did ask her to the dance. But, “And you’re going with Quentyn, your boyfriend, who definitely likes you, but I’m not allowed to comment on that, right?”

It’s messy and it hurts and Gemma is sick of being her secret and Harper doesn’t know what to do, and it ends. Gemma then tells Sansa and Marg about it, who both act surprised, but she gets consoled by them, and after school ends, she tells her best friend.

Harper doesn’t tell anyone and just tries to “suck it up” and move on, which... sucks even more.

Fast forward, their ten year high school reunion comes rolling around. Gemma, newly minted as a narcotics detective, doesn’t want to go, but ends up being talked into it (and... okay, maybe a little bit because she’s a bit curious to see what happened to Harper, who seems to have organized the event).

And she’s shocked to see that Harper is not running her family’s business or anything like that, and instead is a social worker (who specializes in lgbtq+ cases), and sees her and - well she didn’t know what to expect, but a big, seemingly genuine smile on her face is not it, when she goes to the table with all of their little name tags.

She gives a sort of awkward wave - also like. She shouldn’t be/isn’t shocked that Harper is like drop dead gorgeous, but knowing that it’s probably true vs seeing it right in front of her is jarring.

“Gemma Stark,” Harper sort of murmurs, still kind of smiling - which feels so weird because the last time they were surrounded by these people, Harper wouldn’t even acknowledge her, and definitely wouldn’t be smiling if she did.

“Harper Fell,” she shifts back and forth on her feet, giving her an uneasy smile.

Harper, for her part, kind of is in a little daze for a few moments because... Gemma is so pretty and she’s not surprised that there’s a little piece of her that feels like finally she gets to see her again, because she’s felt like this was an open door since she was 18.

She’s knocked out of this moment when Gemma clears her throat, “Should I just, like, find my own name, or...”

She shakes her head, flushing, before she grabs the name tag she’d already been hovering over, “Oh! No, here,” and she brushes her fingers over Gemma’s as she gives it to her.

And throughout the night, they are looking at one another from across the room, and Gemma’s sipping on a drink -- a little tipsy, but quite drunk -- when Harper approaches her, “So... how are you?”

“An interesting line to lead with,” she narrows her eyes, taking Harper in, “But I’m good.”

“Heard you were engaged,” Harper signals for her own drink, clearly fishing for information. And Gemma frowns, downing her drink, shaking her head thinking about her ex.

“Heard you were married,” she counters, then, lifting an eyebrow, and wonders if it’s weird that she feels this buzzing between them. She’d caught wind of that during college.

After an hour of more and more intense flirting at the bar, they end up going back to Harper’s that night, and have incredibly mindblowing sex -

“Gods, but you are so fucking beautiful. How have you always been so beautiful?” Gemma pants, before biting at Harper’s neck, and it’s incredible that she still remembers that spot from ten years ago, that makes Harper arch against her.

“I wanted you to be there tonight,” Harper scratches up her back, “I wanted to see you.”

... and then after, slow and passionate and exploring each other sex. With tired stories about little things in their lives after. Like about how Harper came out to her parents a few years ago, after being entangled in the life they wanted for her - working in their business, married to a man - got a divorce and started living her own life. About how Gemma actually became a cop, which she’d wanted to do since doing a ride-along with Loras in their senior year.

And Gemma sort of sneaks out after, in the morning, because what is she supposed to do with all of this?

Harper isn’t letting that slide, though, not this time around, and seeks her out at the station the next day. And obviously she knows that they’ve never done anything in the right order, but maybe they could do this right for once.

So... they do.

[princetomas]

- ̗̀✰ •【 ARMIE HAMMER / CISMALE / 30 】announcing the arrival of his royal highness, ( TOMAS DAIMEN ), the ( CROWN PRINCE ) of ( SPAIN ). I’ve heard that he is ( OVERLY PROTECTIVE ) & ( INSECURE ) but can also be ( PATIENT ) & ( LOVING ). ( TOMAS ) is arranged to marry ( ROCHELLE ROWE ). Rumor has it ( HE SUFFERS FROM PANIC ATTACKS AND IS SCARED HE CANNOT BE THE STABLE LEADER HIS COUNTRY NEEDS ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!【 OOC: riley, 19, est, she/her 】

wassup everyone its riley w her second muse how did this happen. anyway get ready for a whole lotta protective mama bear here w tommy! as usual a (shorter, but still) long intro under the cut !!! ( tw: anxiety. )

BACKSTORY !

tomás mattéo daimen was the firstborn son of the king and queen of spain. from a young age, he realized what this meant, what responsibility he was meant to bear. he was never particularly excited to rule, but he never shied away from the challenge either.

he was raised as royals did: was tutored until he was old enough to go to boarding school, then oxford to study politics, philosophy and economics, then back to spain to work under his father, following his footsteps.

he had a great relationship with his parents: tommy was ever-curious about the inner workings of politics and social relations, but more importantly, he wanted to learn the ropes so he could feel prepared for when his time would come.

he was always well-liked by his peers and by other royals. he was always polite, very charming, and knew how to strike conversation no matter the country or person. to put it short, his parents and tutored raised him well to become their leader some day.

he absolutely adores his siblings; because his parents were often away for one conference or another, he often had to ‘take care’ of his siblings growing up. he has a great relationship with them, and is always on the lookout for them, always putting them and their interests before himself and his own. 

he takes his role as the crown prince seriously, wanting to be both pragmatic but also personable. he often made visits to local communities, partnered with national and international nonprofits, and was always, always smiling. the people of spain adore him, and the question of his future partner has always been a hot topic.

tommy believes that the summit is important, that history has set a precedent for what works and what doesn’t, and most of all, he wants to make his parents and his country proud -- his hesitation comes from the fact that he is scared his siblings will not find true love. as for him, he knows his duties.

as for his secret, he had always kind of repressed the pressure of leading a country until one point, when he was sixteen, he snapped. the emotions that he had chose to ignore had all piled up and overwhelmed him at once. he hasn’t exactly worked on this yet, for he was never brave enough to tell his parents what was feeling -- in fact, in the back of his head, he just kind of assumed it was a normal pressure, and maybe he was just below-average at dealing with these kinds of stressors. he experiences panic attacks f

in addition, although he generally deals with pressure eventually, he has put a lot of pressure on himself: to be a perfect son, a perfect crown prince, a perfect student, a perfect brother, and now a perfect husband. in his idealistic mind, he’d love to meet and fall in love with his betrothed, and he will certainly try to make her -- along with his siblings and their betrothals. 

PERSONALITY !

tommy, simply put, has a heart of gold. he wants everyone he meets to succeed, wants everyone to be happy. he sees the best in people, and is probably overly-optimistic about people he meets. that said, because he is used to people being real to him, he may not see through pessimism or sarcasm. 

he is incredibly protective of the people he loves. he’ll bring the gloves out. for sure.

he is emotional, sensitive, but can’t really control his emotions sometimes. if he gets too angry or sad, he will probably excuse himself from a room to let out his emotions by like, crying into a pillow or something or taking a long shower.

wasn’t really the clubbing or partying type, but rather the bar-and-conversation type. he frequented bars in university, but never really let himself lose control. he liked to joke around, play pool, but never did he indulge himself in anything harder than a cigarette or a joint. he says it’s because he prefers to be able to actually meet people and talk to them.

TIDBITS !

he wants not only to be a ruler of the people, but to be equal with his betrothed. f me up i just watched him play marty ginsburg for crying out loud. he has seen how his parents have worked so seamlessly together, never missing a beat by keeping each other in the loop of everything, and dreams of having a similar life.

probably wants a lot of kids just because he loves all of his siblings, and wants to see his own children love and protect each other.

he is pretty smart, always doing well in school -- another added pressure he put upon himself. he’s well-read, and loves to learn.

was a rower in high school and in college. he liked it because it was one of the one times he could really clear his head and focus on something other than his political and familial pressures.

is learning how to play the piano: since rowing isn’t exactly super practical or accessible, tommy feels he needs to focus his energy into something creative where he can just let his mind run free for thirty minutes a day. he isn’t the next mozart by any means, but he’s pretty decent.

POTENTIAL PLOTS !

best friends; someone who he’s probably known for a while, maybe one of the only people who knows of his anxiety and his panic attacks. they probably know exactly how to calm him down, how to cheer him up, etc. tommy is extremely protective of them.

childhood friends; people who tommy is also very protective of, bc all royals surely met at some point growing up. they’ve kept in touch over the years and they may be considered ‘extended siblings’ of tommy’s fam :’)

university friends: people who are +/- 3 years of 30 years old who also attended oxford at the same time tommy did. they probably bonded over the fact that they were royals, maybe frequented bars together and did other crazy shenanigans. { bonus: they dated or hooked up dot dot dot }

exes: he’s a romantic, but always knew the eventual duty that he had to his family and his country. i’m sure that there was one point where he tried to fall in love with someone royal, someone who his parents would accept as his spouse, and maybe they did find love. it could likely have been tommy’s anxiety and panic attacks, his fear that he wasn’t good enough for them, that lead to their breakup. they could be on weird terms, good terms, bad terms, literally anything ok. additionally, if they dated for a while / were public, the spanish people probably really rooted for their relationship.

‘bad influence’: in the most wholesome way possible lmao. someone who drags tommy out for an adventure sometimes, to get him to let loose. 

ANYTHING LITERALLY certified #plot #ho™ so just hmu on im or discord OR LIKE THIS POST AND I’LL COME TO YOU, i live for angst mkay thanks for coming to my ted talk

[midcing]

why do people do things that be bad for them? say we done with these things, then we ask for them

&. BASICS

FULL NAME: michael nathaniel roosevelt

NICKNAMES: mike, mikey

FACE CLAIM: jeffrey dean morgan

AGE: 51 years old

SEXUALITY: bisexual ( leans more towards women )

DATE OF BIRTH: may 2nd

GENDER/PRONOUNS: cis male & he/him

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: separated

OCCUPATION: bar & nighclub owner

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON MICHAEL CLICK ANYWHERE IN THIS SENTENCE

&. PERSONALITY

USUAL HANG OUTS: bars, nightclubs, his house

HOBBIES: dancing, singing, playing baseball.

FIVE POSITIVE TRAITS: enthusiastic, caring, resilient, patient, realistic

FIVE NEGATIVE TRAITS: shallow, stubborn, self-centered, self-indulgent, argumentative

DRINKS, SMOKES, & DRUGS: yes, yes, & yes.

&. VERSES

main. 

&. WANTED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC. 

( honestly just a lowkey warning i can’t really imagine him dating anyone younger than like 35. because if anyone younger than that tried to flirt with him he’d just be like ‘that is cute. you are child. go sit in the corner and think about your life.’ so idk keep that in mind ? ) 

the ex wife — okay i keep meaning to send this to the main ( and i’ll at some point in the future ) but if you want to fill up this connection hmu !! like in my mind they were married for many years and they were in love for a long ass time. they had two kids and they were cute af but at the end things were just super rocky. they would fight all the time and they were too focused on work. maybe she had an affair and he had a revenge affair and things were just !! not great !! i picture the divorce being pretty terrible and bitter and like them fighting about everything they had ever owned even though seeing that might be harmful to their kids bc they just too intertwined in their drama. and he is like i’ll fight you for everything but i’ll also not sign the divorce bc you have to understand !! we hate each other but we love each !! ( idk this man honestly smh ). cut to scene a few months later and he is living alone in his big ass house alone without her or the kids and he just like ‘can’t function without her !!’ and michael is still highkey hang up on her bc he says she is the love of his life and all that. you can have your character react to mikey in whatever way you want. she can hate him. love him still. be conflicted. it’s honestly your choice ! but like he would be highkey still in love !! and like trying to get her back despite the fact that he might not deserve her at all or they might not work together in anyway shape or form !!  ( yo i named her Stephanie so i wouldn’t have to awkwardly dance around the name whenever he mentioned his Ex-Wife but if you wanna fill this connection you can name her whatever you want. i’ll just change the info in his page. )

the affair — honestly just wow ??  picture the drama for a second. like the woman he cheated on his wife with... that tore his marriage apart. ... it is completely his fault since he was the married one but picture the misplaced guilt . them maybe actually liking each other but they somehow always end up fighting bc of all the baggage ?? maybe she is married too or she was at some point and he is a shitty but Fun remainder of her shitty husband ?? honestly i’m trash for drama

flirting goes too far — honestly he is always flirting with people and also Not flirting? like he is 100% joking but if you are down he is down. and like imagine just they are friends and they are close and he is flirting bc he does that and your char is just 1000% Done with his bullshit and maybe they kiss or they sleep with each other and for a night things are perfect. but in true michael fashion he does something without thinking of the consequences and regrets it the next day ? and now it is super awkward bc he trying to pretend nothing happened but it obviously did .. . ? ? 

FAMILY.

his son and daughter — i keep meaning to send this to the main too and i’ll at some point but like if you wanna fill it hmu !! i just imagine michael’s divorce with their mother tearing their relationship apart. and mikey feeling super guilty and trying to connect but like ‘how ???’ picture like him taking them to their favorite ice cream shop from when they are five and he is all proud of himself like ‘choose whatever you want!!’ and it’s like ‘That’s nice that you remembered but also i’m not twelve anymore pls do better’ and just wow ?? relationship on the rocks ? trying to be the best possible dad even when he is not the best man ?? dropping Literally Everything bc one of his kid texted ‘dad can you help with something?’ and like ‘yES!! !! yes anything’

PLATONIC.

the good influence — someone that tells him to Sit The Fuck Down and Chill and actually gets him to breath for a second ?? this dude honestly has no chill so i would love someone that is like ‘michael you are gonna sit down and watch this movie and then eat dinner’ and then they actually have fun ?? doing something lowkey chill and he is like ‘i don’t understand what is happening but i like it ngl’

the perfect match — someone who is also 0 Chill and must be doing something at all times ? you know that friendship in movies where they start with small dares like ‘i dare you to take a picture with that random person’ and ‘i dare you to dance in public’ and then a short montage of quickly escalating dares later, they are both in las vegas like ‘imma fucking do it. imma marry you. we are gonna be bounded for life’ and the other one is like ‘bitch you don’t have the balls.’ and they end up doing super dumb stupid shit just to make the other laugh ?? i would give you the sun for it

the parental figure — maybe they work at his bar or his nightclub and they opened up to michael at some point and he was like ‘wow your parents suck !!’ or like your char grew up alone idk up to you honestly ! and like michael was just ‘okay so i’m your Dad now’ and he just takes care of them ?? and even if they work for him like when they come in to the bar he is like ‘have you eaten already ? what do you mean no? Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal Of The Day’

ENEMIES.

the business rival — someone that has another club around kola ? ? and they are like always competing to see who gets the most Hype !? maybe there is some sexual tension  ??  maybe they ar e highkey competing but also somewhat pushing each other ?? like frenemies idk dude

i’m bad at thinking about enemy connections but if you have any ideas hmu

HONESTLY THOSE ARE JUST A FEW IDEAS ! IF READING ABOUT MICHAEL BRINGS ANYTHING TO MIND, JUST HMU. I’M OPEN TO EVERYTHING.

&. FILLED CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC.

the crush —  michael keeps taking her to places and doing dumb stuff with her // taken by simone baxter @paradcxes

PLATONIC.

father figure — dorky father figure trying to pass as a badass // taken by baxley carrington @ofadorations

ENEMIES.

n/a

[alxndre-0001]

Alex’s Literary Reads of 2019 (from the months of June to September)

Caution: Bad, unedited writing ahead. Alex is a lazy person

Being a law student is an exhausting line of self-inflicted harm. Your life becomes an onslaught of reading materials and even more reading materials to catch up to. Now, reading has been second nature to me since I was four years old, so you can just imagine the sheer amount of readings my law professors have given us for me to consider detesting reading. 

I’ve managed to keep my sobriety from purely academic books by inserting novels, short stories and some poetry along the way. In all my four years in law school, this is the only year that I read as much as I wanted to. Mostly, short stories and essays that could be finished in one sitting. I had summer classes and wasn’t able to go home at all since January or February so I kept myself preoccupied by reading leisurely ( I know, gasp! Is that even possible for Alex in this economy?).

So here they are ++ some reviews and thoughts on the books.

1. Delta of Venus by Anais Nin

I read this book at the same time as a friend of mine. It was my first time diving into erotica considered to hold literary merit, the ones I had before were utterly terrible, by the way. But we are talking of Anais Nin anyway, so there’s that. It’s actually a collection of erotic short stories involving different, unconnected characters although a few of them were referenced in other stories. As someone who’s always been fine with sex in plots, this one left me feeling visibly unsettled. I realized how truly romanticized sex can be in popular books (e.g Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy). The outpouring of feminine pleasure on those books was strictly gratuitous and self-indulgent. Delta of Venus was an uncomfortable experience because it fleshed out several discomfiting realities of sex and titillation – violence is often an element of power play in the bedroom, voyeuristic tendencies of everyone, depraved fantasies which are almost immoral in their insistence. 

Of particular impressions were ‘The Hungarian Adventurer’ and ‘Boarding School’ which explored themes of rape, incest, and even bestiality at one point.  It wasn’t the fact of preference that appalled me, it was the simple exposition of the truth – sex is all things good and bad, inexplicable and sensual. I have a problem with how media portrays sex, especially in popular culture which is partial with idealistic notions of sexual roles apparent in concepts like the male gaze and fantasy in porn. You see, these things eventually become damaging. When we glamorize something as common as sex, it either becomes fodder for taboo or fantasy, which incidentally what occurs with conversations of sex. Either it is a subject much condemned for its alleged impurity or a dirty little secret which encourages unrealistic expectations for both sexes. 

Nin’s style of writing borders on the absurd, but it is done intentionally. In one interview, she narrated how a client wanted her to write erotica which was basically porn and just skip the poetry. She refused as any self-respecting and intelligent woman would.  And well, we need to appreciate her for that. If she let the client have his way, then what we’d have is an exaggerated image of sex instead of the unnerving stories of Delta. In a sense, we can consider Delta as a commentary on sex literature which caters to a male audience. The stories were rife with feeling, of emotion, which feminized a genre so overtly masculine, pandering to the male gaze.

There were quite a number of jibes at the male gaze as well with stories like ‘Marianne’ and the ‘The Veiled Woman’. My favorite was when Marianne (Marianne) met a man who felt erotic pleasure by only being looked at, like an object of desire. It appeared to me as a reverse of the male gaze, which often portrayed women as the object of desire, effacing her human qualities to turn her into just a vessel to express lust, infatuation or even love. But here, the object of desire is a man and we are made privy into his thoughts and actions, humanizing him instead of treating him as just an object. 

Overall, Delta of Venus was a fine starter for anyone who wished to know more of Anais Nin. The prose flowed well, even lyrically so, despite sex being a subject which can easily turn stale if not carefully written. 

2. Tales of Mystery and Imagination by Edgar Allan Poe

My first experience with Poe was when I was around nine or ten years old. I was a nosy child when it came to other people’s books and one day I found printed copies of short stories of my cousin’s in his room. One of them was A Tell-Tale Heart.  I still remember feeling on edge as I read the slightly blurred lines in cheap brown paper, it was utterly thrilling. The horror of the story comes less from the almost supernatural obsession of the unnamed character with the eye of the old man. It was more on his slipping attempts of overcoming the inhuman desire to kill the man for his eye. 

There’s always something that fascinates me with horror that is internally driven. More than the hostility of vampires, the looming threats of an apocalypse, the real horror for me lies in the deep recesses of the human heart, that inscrutable machine that throbs inextricably within all of us. And I feel like that’s what always impressed me with Poe. He had the excellent ability to articulate darkness that is motivated by the self and that is a feat for writers. Stephen King, for example, is great at understanding that his monsters are metaphors for his inner demons but he relates them into tangible forms be it demon dogs, telekinetic teenagers to give them an external existence. 

Poe has a clear grasp of fear and all its friends. And though some critics would lend an idea that Poe writes well with supernatural elements, I beg to disagree. He uses, for one, unreliable narrators (Berenice, William Williamson, Fall of the House of Usher). The thing with unreliable narrators is they warp the sense of reality of the stories, an indication to the reader that everything is not what it seems. And if one pays enough attention, then they could ask the all-important question: Is this the real-life or is this just fantasy? If you’re playing with those two possibilities, then you’d be less scared with the supernatural/ external world than the worldview of the narrator. You start to scrutinize him more closely, dog his steps, intimate his intentions, etc like some fixated lover. In doing so, in peering into the mind of another, you stumble into your own inner motivations, your thoughts and who knows you might mirror the darkness the narrator is struggling with? 

And there is the true gift of Poe – he reads everyone like how he reads himself. He doesn’t do this by getting acquainted with thousands of people with innumerable different lives. No, sir. He forces readers to examine themselves and the darkness inherent in men but constantly, through our self-delusion denied as present in others but not in ourselves. I need not belabor that this kind of writer is my favorite, the ones with a very vivid understanding of humanity, no matter how bleak the answers that arrive to them.

I went at liberties with Poe (lol) but some favorites inside the collection of stories are The Case of M. Valdemar, Black Cat, Descent into the Maelstrom and Pit of the Pendulum. My only issue is Poe’s tendency to philosophize in protracted terms that I was afraid I was going to get bored to death ( Domain of Arnheim, The Island of the Fay) with the possible exception of ‘The Colloquy of Monos and Una’ since I like the ideas presented there. 

3. Slapstick! or Lonesome No More by Kurt Vonnegut

I was supposed to start with Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions or Cat’s Cradle but the only available copy of the writer’s work in the book fair (thanks BBW!!) was this one. It seemed like a light read, a stark contrast from Poe’s grim, verbose collection, so I decided to give it a go. The last time I read a sci-fi novel was Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 ( a real shame since I planned on reading more sci-fi this year). I finished it in less than a day and I wouldn’t say it left me with any remarkable opinion as much as the other books have had on me except that Vonnegut seemed like that fun, carefree uncle in reunions who has an alcohol abuse problem, is unmarried, and eats grapefruit for breakfast.

It’s not a very long novel and Vonnegut kept ending every part with ‘Hi, ho’. There’s a deeper sadness that is thinly veiled in the book as well, yeah slapstick, which reminded me of David Wallace’s Infinite Jest except the latter presents a more serious nod to its humor. 

It tells the story of Wilbur and Eliza, twins who are considered conventionally horrendous and abnormal in physical qualities. They are tall, too tall in fact. But thank god for rich parents who secretly dislike them, that they lived a sheltered existence away from everyone else other than their servants and a doctor who checks them every day. Unbeknownst to the parents and everyone else, the twins are super smart but only if they are allowed to share their intelligence by being close to each other. 

Long story made short, it’s a light read and perhaps a good overview of Vonnegut’s style of writing. I did want to read Slaughterhouse-Five after this one, so maybe that’s a good start. 

4. Dubliners by James Joyce

I’m having a hard time deciding whether this is my favorite out of everything else in this list or not. James Joyce was actually one of the writers I wanted to read very closely and understand his style better. He had such status and influence in modernism, plus the mythic reputations of both Finnegan’s Wake and Ulysses for their wrought complexity and ingenuity in style that I felt drawn to his works.  You should have seen my face when I got a copy of this book at the BBW Fair last August – think of a kid in a candy store for an accurate depiction. 

Let’s cut right down to the chase. What do I really think of this book? To sum up my thoughts about it: If there is a master class for short story writing, Dubliners should be a required reading. I am by no means a writer or journalist but as someone who reads short stories often (more often than novels or poetry) for the last two or three years, Dubliners was a standout. 

Dubliners is actually a collection of short stories (hell I’ve only been having collections, is this a pattern? lol). They are set in Ireland mediated through the simplicity of daily life.  I admired the craftsmanship of Joyce in this one, the prose was written so concisely, dispensing with the arduous descriptions that lead nowhere.  

The characters, too, were forged from the circumstances of ordinariness – a dead priest, an abused woman, a boy about to come of age and so on. The characters themselves feel like semblances of a collective consciousness – that of Ireland during a tumultuous time in the  20th century.  In a way, the mundane, individual aspects of a character’s life was a mirror to the social conditions Joyce wanted to portray emphatically in the stories. The style was polished in a way that one is made to occupy the places mentioned in Dublin through the familiarity of an old friend, a returning local into the arms of unchanged memories. There hung in each story, a great atmosphere of nostalgia and I suspect it is because Joyce knows how to excavate sentiments for places which we haven’t even visited or seen but that somehow we recognize as phantoms of our very own lives. 

There is indeed great beauty in the most ordinary things and it takes the eye of an artist to take the uneventful and reveal its exquisiteness. Joyce made me grasp a show of that ability in the days that I pored through his collection. Whatever he intended while writing Dubliners, whether as a mirror of a conflicted Irish society or as a commentary to the social context borne through those times, it is his style that won me over. The plots were as simplistic as possible and there was no way to harness more meaning from the events of a character’s life rather than to take them at face value and coming to the understanding of just how nuanced and visceral our daily lives can be if only we looked hard enough, paid attention enough.

Dubliners reminded me of what I look for most in a book. It really is less of the plot or even it’s overarching theme and more of the style. Language as an art form has always been my standard in saying if a book has taken me in or not.  The great writer, Vladimir Nabokov is similarly convinced that language can elevate a story into an art form. There is artistic merit in a writer’s style just by itself and I would rather read a book with a weak plot but with a sound use of language than a novel plot with a severely exploited and copied style. 

5. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Perhaps the other strong contender for favorite in this list is Heart of Darkness. To be fair, it was less a book and more of an experience. An experience of what literature can do when it goes beyond style and narration to get to the bottom of the writer’s innermost motivations for writing the book. I ended Heart of Darkness, perplexed and in much quandary. There are only two possible explanations: First either the book was beyond me and my mediocre mind that try as I might, meaning of any sort would only elude me. Second, it was so condensed with significance that reading it once simply didn’t qualify as reading it at all. By the end of maybe two days, I realized it was the latter. For the lack of any other time, I’m going to try and process its entirety with the sum of my reading it only once.

I confess I looked up a video review off YouTube before getting to the book, mostly because classics have a way of being exhaustively discussed without losing their ability to sustain a reader’s interest. In my case, spoilers don’t do any damage or if there is any, of only negligible consequence since I look for other things other than the stream of events.

According to the video review, the book is an example of darkness as a location. To put context to this description, it would be good to tell a bit of the story. This is about an English man named Marlow who went to Congo to take on greener chances in the trade therein and for which the backdrop is meant to replicate the inhuman conditions of the slave trade. Amidst all this is another man named Kurtz, who was quite illustrious as a prodigious ivory trader and who was steeped in so much mystery. Upon arriving at the Congo, Marlow witnesses the cruel treatment of the ‘slaves’ under the supervision of the Europeans. 

[userzara]

hey guys, it’s dani (-: i play elise too and this is my brand new child and i’m super stoked for them !! OKAY so this became longer than i thought it was going to be, practically their bio but the first two sections is background, it’s not until you get to ‘recent years/now’ that it’ll get to zara’s main point. um, right TWs: drugs, minor death. 

did i just see DUA LIPA walking down sixth street ?! oh, wait, it’s just ZARA SERAFIN, the 22 year old DEMIGIRL CASHIER/DEALER who has a reputation for being  SNARKY AND MANIPULATIVE but STREETSMART AND STEADFAST. let’s hope THEY/SHE prepared to take on the wild ride that is austin, texas. 

okay where do i begin, basically zara is inspired by alex vause as well as a variety of songs by phora ( check him out he’s great ) + an old character of mine that i never truly developed. so, to be frank, she’s a mess.com. i love her though, a lot and i’m going to try to break her down without writing an eight page essay mla format, so! here we go. 

BEFORE AUSTIN, TEXAS. 

zara comes from los angeles, california. the downtown area specifically, not the best area to grow up in but it was home and she never focused on how bad her city was doing because, for starters she only lived there until she was ten years old and the only thing on her mind is her friends. 

her parents divorced when she had turned eight years old, her dad wasn’t the best at commitment to his wife, he absolutely adored zara but settling down just hadn’t been his thing and he left. he kept in touch, briefly. at first, zara understood why he left, he was tired but he loved her so it was okay. but those calls slowly stopped happening until he stopped calling completely and she stopped waiting for them. it was one of the worst heartbreaks she’s faced. 

at ten years old, her mother remarried and they packed up everything to move to austin, texas with her new boyfriend that practically came out of nowhere. he wasn’t zara’s favorite person, in fact she felt betrayed and angry that he was now sitting where her dad used to sit and was taking over. her mother had two kids with this new guy and zara loves her siblings but she still holds a deep grudge for the guy who swept her mother up and ruined her life by moving to fucking texas. dramatic, sure but her friends were all in l.a and she had to start new. 

EARLY YEARS IN AUSTIN, TEXAS ( 10-18 ).

at first she didn’t want to make new friends, sulking became a thing. zara was supposed to loathe this place in hopes that if they didn’t make any friends they’ll pack up and move back to los angeles where she belongs. spoiler alert: that never happened and it dawned on her that this is her life now 

middle school approached and she knew she couldn’t face these coming years alone. it was hell, appearances were something they couldn’t give a shit about, sticking solely to wearing a signature black hoodie all the time, heavy eyeliner in attempt to make herself look tough but instead it got the label ‘basketcase’ stuck on her aka those mean blonde texas girls with the drawls and ‘my momma says…’ etc lmao.

POINT IS, near the end of sixth grade she got into fight with the girl who tried to torment her, finally snapping they fought in the quad of the school and zara let out of suppressed emotions and kicked her ass in front of everyone until they were pulled apart and she felt pleased as heck when she saw she made Beauty Pageant bleeding because good, that’ll teach her to stop running her mouth 

this caught the attention of what teachers like to call the ‘troubled’ kids. when zara came back from her three day suspension (and did she get a yelling at home oh boy) they took her under their wing, zara’s already average grades started dropping by influence, she soon adopted some of their characteristics and mannerisms, forging herself into something she wasn’t seeking their approval because holy fuck these people were great. hanging out every friday at the movie theaters, loitering at the ages of thirteen/fourteen in the streets feeling like kings of the city, it became addicting 

eventually this group formed into some of the ‘popular’ kids, no not the prom king and queen type of thing but they had a name for themselves. especially in HIGH SCHOOL. things started to get heavier, hanging out at the movie theaters turned into going to ragers, to trying weed for the first time, alcohol and zara fucking loved feeling rebellious and indulging in this new-found freedom. her first kiss was a drunk one and she wouldn’t be able to tell you who it was because she doesn’t remember, she just needed her first kiss because everyone was kissing everyone 

her home life didn’t get any better. she started to come home later or the next day. her grades were shit but zara didn’t care. 

soon enough weed turned to lsd. sophomore year became the year she lost her virginity to a guy that was feeling her up at a party, she didn’t care for him, she wasn’t attracted to him but all her friends were non-virgins and so she had to be too. she didn’t give a fuck with who only that it would be over quick and onto the next one. still, the first time left her feeling…weird. they didn’t enjoy it but, she thought it had to be done. not the best mentality to have. 

zara starter ditching school, making new friends with people they met at parties, picking them down the street from their high school. they had drugs, they held the key to a good time. these were…bad people for her. dealers that lured her into their world of easy cash and a fucking good time. they knew they were attractive, still growing into their body and they knew they could munch off of them. most of this was junior year and it’s still a shock her grades kept her in school. 

senior year they hardly showed up. senior year she saw someone die before her. it was one of the guys that provided whatever drug or bottle of alcohol she needed and it was an accident witnessing it. at this rate, zara went days without going home and they were on their way to the semi empty gas station for a drink before finally going home when she saw her friend through the window across the street and, it was a deal gone wrong and a gunshot broke through the chilly night causing her to drop her orange gatorade and spilling it all over the floor before she ran out of the store across the street and, well it didn’t really leave her the same. 

somehow she managed to graduate high school but barely. she felt lost but still indulged herself in bad habits throughout that last year, still free-loading off others, tricking people into doing stuff for her. sleeping with whoever the hell she wanted to fuck. just throwing herself into whatever she could. 

RECENT YEARS/NOW ( 19-22 ) 

at nineteen she was still lost, she didn’t know what she wanted to do. school was out of the question, she hated work but still did odd jobs, for a while they worked at a laundromat, taking care after the place. she still went to parties/clubs, snuck into bars. flirted with all the pretty faces and put on her faux personality. tbh zara is a goddamn two-face. 

ANYWAYS at nineteen she got caught with a gram of heroin by the police. the authorities were called when a party had started getting out of control and they arrested as many people as they could, among them: zara. charged guilty of drug possession, and since her parents couldn’t pay bail, she ended up doing 2 years of prison. two long years in the slammer. 

that was something. it didn’t hit zara that her life choices had her end up in prison until her first night in the women’s ward.  she didn’t cry until she was locked in a bathroom stall and that was the only time. those were the longest days of her life. she met people in there, good and bad. avoided getting into brawls and picked up a book here and there. in my head she had a relationship with someone in there, but not really? frequent fwbs, exclusive. zara doesn’t label shit, she gets bored and, just like her first time, on to the next. honestly help her.

NOW TWENTY-TWO and her parents aren’t welcoming her back. she isn’t allowed to see her siblings, her family hadn’t visited her at all during those two years. her mother only came once but it was short since she couldn’t beat the fact that her baby was in prison, blaming herself and asking where she went wrong in raising her. 

thankfully she had one single friend ( since i have a feeling not a lot of people kept in touch with her after she got arrested; connections anyone ?? and also connection for that ONE friend ) who hooked her up with a job to get her back on her feet but old habits die hard, working at a gas station just isn’t cutting it and is currently getting into the dealing game with her old contacts. 

in my head it’s been like, two weeks since she’s been out. back in the city and ready for Drama. 

SO YEAH THIS IS IT, WOW THAT WAS LONG IM SORRY !! wow i realized i haven’t really incorporated the alex vause thing apart from being in prison but personality wise i mean yeah, anyway !! hmu for those plots please and thank you !! or like this and i’ll come sliding into your ims !! (-: 

[entamewitchlulu]

Homura’s Top 15 Zexal Characters

Once again, under the cut due to length!!!  Time to talk about Zexal babies <3

15. Kaito Tenjo

I have always felt like the odd one out of Zexal fans with him being so low on my list, but that’s definitely not to say that I dislike him!  In fact, I’ve actually been becoming a lot more interested in him since his back story started to basically take over my Zexal rewrite haha.  Kaito is a little like Kaiba for me in that I feel like he’s a very interestingly complex character.  He has a lot of factors in his life that make him what he is, and that gives him layers to dig through and explore to really figure out the core of what he is.  I love that he’s one of the first rivals to legitimately terrify the protagonist with his power, but he has his own brand of awkward softness to him too even with people other than Haruto once he’s free of the duty of being a Numbers Hunter.  He’s a single-minded and really fucking determined and although he’s not super high on my list, I do have to appreciate him.

14. Ena

Okay but for real Ena is here because I’m gay, and also, the second they appeared I was like !!!!!! i smell fics 

Anyway, I know they have like no fucking character at all, but I love them anyway.  Their design is fascinating and I’m still 80% positive they were supposed to be related to Mirai somehow.  I love what we do get out of them, like, they’re one of the only people actively standing up to Eliphas and going behind his back to help Yuma and Astral out of the entire Astral people, and that’s kind of badass tbh

13. Mizael

God, look at him.  Just...just look at him.  It should be illegal to be this fucking pretty.  Beyond his a m a z i n g character design though, Mizael is just a really fascinating character.  He’s the only one of the Barian who doesn’t seem to really hold any hatred or grudge; he has no actual animosity towards the others except to just think he’s superior to humans.  He’s just really out to test his skills and prove himself as a dragon tamer rather than having any real devotion to the Barian cause, and I think that’s fascinating.

12. Mirai Tsukumo

Shoutout to the first real onscreen Yu-Gi-Oh mom; I know she, too, doesn’t really have any character or screen time, but I love that she was set up to be an adventurer just like Kazuma, and we get to see that she was involved with a lot of his adventures and stuff.  She’s just...interesting to me, I guess.

11. Number 96 / Dark Mist

I just think ze’s a really fascinating antagonist.  I loved zir introduction scene so much, like, that’s still one of my favorite Zexal episodes.  Ze’s a legitimately frightening, looming sort of villain that’s in it for the shits and giggles, which is one of my guilty indulgences.  Ze just wants to watch the world burn and honestly I can respect that in a villain.

10. Vector

God, this asshole.  I love him but I hate him but I love him???  He’s an absolute shitstain but I can’t help but be entertained by him.  He’s one of the most conniving villains in all of Yu-Gi-Oh, and I wish that I hadn’t been spoiled about his identity before it happened because I feel like I would have really been shocked by the turn around.  And yet, all the tells are there, even from the beginning; they try to divert your attention by fooling you with the Barian police officer shit, but in the end, after a second rewatch it’s easy to see where he’s going with his plans, and you just have to sit there and be impressed with the writing of his character and his set up.  He’s a shitlord who laughs at suffering but he’s incredibly interesting for the way he does it and his willingness to play the long-game; not to mention he is fucking hilarious and every scene he’s in is legitimately amazing.

9. Alit

Look at him, he’s fucking precious??  Not only do I heavily appreciate his basically canon bisexuality, but his character is so endearing.  He’s an antagonist, but you can’t help but love him for how straightforward he is.  He’s a fun-loving, punchy guy who just really wants to cross fists with someone and really throw his all into a good fight, and he’s honestly just so pure despite being technically a villain for a good chunk of the story.

8. Rio Kamishiro / Merag

Idk I’m just a sucker for the ladies I guess.  Rio has just a great personality imo; I love how sassy and uptight she can be and how she just excels at everything.  She knows how cool she is and she acts like she does; she won’t put herself down for anybody, and hse’s also a great and supportive friend to the people she does let in close.  I like how even though she’s presented with an ice theme, she’s never once characterize as the “ice queen” trope, she’s a legitimately caring person and she doesn’t try to hide that.

7. Astral

GOD look at zir?????????? Astral is the most precious alien bby ever, like holy fuck I love zir.  Astral is so cute.  I love how ze slowly learns more about the world, turning from someone incredibly analytical and afraid of failure to someone who’s not afraid to take risks.  I love how ze’s influenced by Yuma and Astral’s entire character arc is so precious.  And anyway just look at zir cute face???

6. Ryoga Kamishiro / Nasch

first i mean just...look at his smile??????? how Pure???  Ryoga is just...he’s a good boy, okay?  I love his story and his character development so much.  He starts out as such an asshole, but just one encounter with Yuma reawakens the part of him that’s legitimately a good person who cares about people and wants to take care of them.  Ryoga is just a very natural leader imo, something that carried over from his time as Nasch.  He’s good at leading but god he doesn’t want to, and I think that’s why he tries to be such a loner, because part of him is afraid of people relying on him again.  He’s a much softer heart than he pretends to be, and he doesn’t want to hurt people.  I still remember his tears when he remembered he was a Barian and he realized that was going to put him at odds with Yuma and Kaito and everyone, but he couldn’t abandon the others either.  He’s the kind of person who really understands responsibility, but while he’ll take it on, he also fears it?  And that’s just...honestly real relatable for me.  He’s a good kid, and I think it’s really fascinating in that he’s an antagonist in the end, but he’s not a villain.  He and Yuma are both fundamentally good people who are forced to fight due to poor circumstances, and a lot of real life is gray like that, so it was really cool to see it shown in the series.  Sometimes, no one is the bad guy, but fights still happen.  Ryoga is a great example of this.

5. Kotori Mizuki

What a precious child....honestly, I love Kotori so much; she’s cheerful, supportive, and she never lets herself lose hope.  She works hard and she’s more than willing to jump up to the plate if she has to, but she’s also content standing back and letting other people handle things, which I honestly relate to a lot.  She’s a bright light for a lot of her friends and I think that’s inspiring.

4. Durbe

LOOK AT MY NERD HE IS SOFT AND PRECIOUS!!!!  Durbe is just so good.  He’s another one of those antagonists who’s not a villain, he’s just on the other side for reasons that no one can really control.  I love how devoted he is to Nasch and Merag, how he’s so willing to follow them and protect them that he’s called the White Shield of Barian.  I’m also a sucker for megane characters tbh.

3. Akari Tsukumo

God I love her.  She’s who i project onto in this series tbh, as an older sister myself.  My lil bro might not be anything like Yuma, and we might get along a little better than Akari and Yuma do, but Akari just resonates with me in a deep way because at the heart of it all, she really cares about Yuma and wants to do right by him.  We don’t get to see much about her, but she has a lot of hidden threads that I find really interesting to look into; like if you think about it, she’s the sole provider for the Tsukumo household now with the parents gone.  I don’t think grandma works.  What kind of stress must that put on her, especially with her parents having disappeared right when she was getting out of high school?  Thinking about that puts a lot of her actions in perspective to me, and I find her honestly relatable in that regard.  What if it was me that was suddenly the sole provider for my little brother?  It strikes me a lot, especially when I watch scenes with Akari, and I think she’s a great character that I feel comfortable projecting onto.

2. Michael Arclight

Look at my husband, he is pure and good.  I love Michael a lot because honestly?? I relate to him immensely.  He’s a really good person who gets excited about the things that interest him, and will talk your ear off about them if you let him.  He gives everything for the sake of his family, and I honestly couldn’t blame him for going to the lengths he did, because I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same for my own family.  And even after all of that, he realized what he had done wrong and was willing to do what it took to atone for that mistake.  He knew what he had done was wrong and never stopped trying to make up for it--I cried a little when he showed up to protect Yuma and said he would be his sword and shield, it was so pure???

1. Yuma Tsukumo

God blessed me when he let this child exist.  Yuma is everything that I want to be; he’s enthusiastic, confident in himself, never gives up, and always gets back up in the end.  He just feels real to me in a way that some characters don’t.  He feels like an actual child, like his actual age.  He acts like a lot of thirteen year olds I actually know, and he reminds me a lot of some of my cousins, so I was almost immediately drawn to him when I finally started watching Zexal; I wanted to protect him and take care of him.

I love him for his emotions, for being able to cry in front of others and really feel things.  I love him for his outgoing nature and his unwillingness to give up on anything or anyone.  I love him for his forgiveness, which is so much wider and broader than anything I can do myself, and I wish sometimes that I could have as much kindness and innocence in my heart as him.  He’s a shining light and I wear his necklace on the days that I need extra confidence for things.  I’m so glad that I let go of my initial dislike of his character design because he’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

KEEP YOUR MIND THE LADDER

There's a real difference, because an assertion provokes objections in a way that was entirely for the better. Human problems are the most common type, so being good at solving those is key in achieving a high average outcome. It was a kind of work is higher because it gives you more options to choose your life's work, there are more and more true as computers get faster. We fell into the classic problem of how when a new medium comes out it adopts the practices, the content, the business models of the old medium—which fails, and you can't have a mecca if you don't let people ship, you won't have to write programs to solve, but I never have. This is one case where it pays to be self-indulgent. I believe they conceal because of deep taboos. It explains why VCs take so agonizingly long to make up new things, some old rules don't apply. So maybe I'll try not bringing books on some future trip. I wasn't looking for it. Imaginative people don't want to follow or lead. It explains why VCs take so agonizingly long to make up their minds, and why their due diligence feels like a star. The economic situation is apparently so grim that some experts fear we may be able to work hard: these guys would have paid to be able to leave while you're there.

You're an investor too. In a way, it's harder to see problems than their solutions. Every founder knows that VCs will tell your secrets to your competitors if they end up investing in them. Even YC's haters buy it. But again, the only reason VCs are the way they are.1 The immediate cause of death in a startup is to try to create a more elegant alternative to the Turing Machine. It was astonishing to learn later that they'd both been serial womanizers, and that women will all be trained in the martial arts.

The books I bring on trips are often quite virtuous, the sort of backslapping extroverts one thinks of what Microsoft does to users, or negotiate with other companies, who to hire, everything. The problem with VC funds is that they're looking for the trick.2 If you make people with money love you, you can write about, and they were used in the Roman empire. 0 first arose in a brainstorming session between O'Reilly and Medialive International. Junior professors are fired by default after a few years before by a big company. And yet isn't being smart also knowing what to do when the teacher tells your elementary school class to add all the numbers from 1 to 100? The German and Dutch governments, perhaps from fear of elitism, try to ensure that the company pays 10 times as much on sales as on development. Can it get you the designers, though?

But it's convenient because this is an example of such a UI to work from: the old one.3 Of course the habits of mind than others? But if it's inborn it should be. Just to be clear about this, it was meaningless. YC.4 If there are any axioms that could be weeded out. In the process of explaining them to the right people, giving the impression of productivity, and so on. If you have the resources, it's more elegant to think of intelligence as inborn is that people trying to take advantage of the opportunities to waste cycles that we'll get from new, faster hardware? At Y Combinator we advise all the startups we fund never to lord it over users. The most dramatic example of Web 2.5 Be careful to copy what makes them good, rather than their flaws. But prudence can't tell me what sentence to write next.

And if you start from successful startups, you find they'd often make good startups. So we'd refuse to fund founders whose characters we had doubts about, because how good founders are and how well they do are not orthogonal. There's a physical analog in the Intel and Microsoft stickers that come on some laptops. The closest you'll get to Bubble valuations is Rupert Murdoch paying $580 million for Myspace. This implies that the kind of parallelism we have in a hundred years. From either direction we get to the same spot. In the US most kids graduating from college still think they're supposed to start them while they're still in college. Now when one thinks of as typically American. If founders' instincts already gave them the right answers, they wouldn't need us.6

If you feel you're really helping people, you'll keep working even when it seems like your startup is doomed. A teacher has to walk a narrow path: you want to act on, act now. A friend who moved out of Manhattan said merely that her 3 year old. Startups are as unnatural as skiing, so there's a similar list for startups. A quality that's inborn will obviously be more convenient to work with than one that's influenced by experience, and thus might vary in the course of a study. And they're astoundingly successful. They'd face some challenges if they wanted to make more, but not too easily impressed.7 I think one of the most important components of the world's infrastructure? And if your startup succeeds, it will become increasingly important relative to wisdom because there is more room for what would now be considered slow languages, meaning languages that don't yield very efficient code. Those paintings have since been cleaned, revealing brilliant colors; their imitators are of course still brown. The consequence was a positively fanatic freethinking coupled with the impression that youth is intentionally being deceived by the state through lies: it was a description of Google?

As I was mulling this over, I found myself thinking: I can understand why German universities declined in the 1930s, after they excluded Jews. Toys and cartoon characters meant to be cute always have clueless expressions and stubby, ineffectual limbs. I don't have time to find out. It's the sort of strategic insight I was supposed to come up with ideas for startups? I claim hacking and painting are also related, in the sense of something someone made happen. An undergrad who gets something published feels like a body cavity search. If this were true, the most common mistakes young founders make is not to be an inexhaustible source of research papers, despite the fact that Jessica and I decided one night to start it, and the distinction between acceptable and forbidden topics is usually based on how intellectual the work sounds when described in research papers, despite the fact that if their parents had chosen the other way, they'd have grown up considering themselves as Xes must be enormous.8 Already chip designers have to think about it, because their unconscious mind shrank from the complications involved.

Odd as it might sound, we tell startups that they should try to make as little money as possible.9 At its best, starting a startup is because that's what they've been trained to do for their whole lives to play such games, young founders' first impulse on starting a startup is that you get a lot of people seem to have some sort of internal compass that helps me out. Ideally till you realize how mistaken you were. And when I used to think I wanted to try being a painter, and the people who thought during the Bubble all I have to do is start a startup at 20 and you're sufficiently successful, you'll never get to bum around a foreign country. I was firmly in the camp of bad. Specifications change while a program is being written way too fast for Microsoft even to channel it, let alone which to choose.10 A few months ago an article about Y Combinator said that early on it had been nice growing up in the country. Investors are more of a problem.

Notes

But it is less than 500, because any VC would think Y Combinator.

Or more precisely, the CIA runs a venture fund called In-Q-Tel that is actually a computer.

People were more at home at the time. I don't have a group of people mad, essentially by macroexpanding them. Everything is a dotted line on a form that would scale.

If Congress passes the founder of the iPhone SDK.

They therefore think what drives users to switch to a can of soup. If you try to go to work on what you write has a sharp drop in utility. Super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats by switching to what used to wonder if that got bootstrapped with consulting.

But no planes crash if your goal is to create one of the reason it used to do it mostly on your thesis. Convertible debt can be surprisingly indecisive about acquisitions, and the valuation should be especially skeptical about Viaweb too.

The question to ask, if we wanted to invest more. If you really need a higher growth rate has to be staying at a discount of 30% means when it converts. When governments decide how to be identified with you.

On the face of it, I'm also an investor who invested earlier had been, and stir. Which helps explain why there are few who can predict instead of admitting frankly that it's hard to predict precisely what would happen to their returns. These two regions were the people working for startups might be able to raise money after Demo Day or die.

Unfortunately the constraint probably has to work for Gillette, but to establish a protocol for web-based alternative to Office may not be surprised if VCs' tendency to push to being a train car that in 1995, but Google proved them wrong.

But a couple predecessors. The reason the young side. So you can base brand on anything with a no-shop clause. But on the critical question is not so good that it killed the best in the 1990s, and others, like most of their predecessors and said in effect why can't you be more selective about the cheapest food available.