#I say we because even though I'm the author
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cursedhaglette · 3 days ago
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Solavellan recs you say? 👀👀👀👀👀
OHHHHH POOOKIIIIEEEEEEEEEE here's a lil bit of everything for you, go forth and feast
remorse is not an apology by deciblesque - you will find me gradually losing my shit in the comments of this one. we shouldn't be allowed to read it for free, it's so brilliant. i literally have no words, it's just so fucking good. post-DAV and an absolute must read. (also the author has some very delicious solavelassan smut if you need something to wash it down with)
the shrine of your lies by @swordbisexual - make that everything by ouiser by dear god, this one will have you needing solas so bad
the first six months of forever by lahtays - devastating, brilliant, sexy, post-solas doing his big stupid but written pre-DAV (as if we need DAV though) but they get to live in the world as they fix things and yeah. so so good.
scion by @widowling - we know martyr, we love (and love to hate) martyr, but honestly scion is gonna RUIN me in a big way and i can't wait. a good, like ACTUALLY GOOD, arlathan AU is hard to find but a sexy young solas is also the most important thing in the world to me, especially if he's also just a lil dumb. my beloved widowling nailed it. can't wait for more of this one.
love is not a victory march by @brunchatthebookstore - the inquisitor gets the call to go to minrathous in time for solas' ritual. this is an all-timer in the making, i just know it.
miles below the surface of the dawn by @thefirstaidkit - long form smut that literally made me cry i'm not kidding. this fandom really has everything. you know what's more fucked up? KIT HADN'T EVEN FINISHED DAI WHEN WRITING THIS MASTERPIECE.... shfdkjhjsdfkjshdf
verhas'alhan - to yearn for wilderness by rosemarybagels - centuries spent after the veil falls and this is painful but absolutely beautiful and feels so wonderfully true to both characters and ugh. UGH. how to be heartbroken and hate each other but love each other all at the same time. gorgeous.
her hand was invented before god was by @citrusai - gan'freya woman that she is. solas snoop that he is. this is absolutely delicious and perfect and i've read it twice and i know i will again because it's so them.
the immortal game by @psykergirl - the most solavellan smut of all time. trust me on this.
all new, faded for her by @scaryanneee - putting this toward the bottom only because i've recc'd it before multiple times but not because i love it any less. it's one of my current comfort fics and anna is so so brilliant and perfect at writing the classic romance tropes we know and love but making them soooo sollavellan it's sick. also morinne is there but who cares when ATHERA. QUEEN ATHERA. god.
these hands, if not gods by @gefionne - also at the bottom only because i've recc'd it before and i think the whole fandom is probably bouncing up and down waiting for every update. my other current comfort fic at the moment. imagining young solas whimpering with nipple rings gets me through the day and gef...god bless gef for that.
there's........so much more porn here than i expected. oops. but also it's all literally so good i'm not even sorry about it. also if you want to support moi, i write a lil fic called requited but feel weird promo-ing it more than that. i also have more fic recs for solavellan answered here, here and here!
anyways, have fun and enjoy!
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creatingblackcharacters · 1 hour ago
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not the same anon who asked about "pale" skin, but I've been considering the semantics of that issue as well - Ice, can you explain why and how precisely pale/blanched/ashen read different to Black people? I understand culture/society and language and how someone grew up have an influence on this, so I'm not expecting a universal answer, but I'm genuinely curious about the specific connotations attached
I can see why you take issue with the word "pale" in that ask, so I guess my question is more why does one specifically read worse than the other? as in what's the framework, what's the toolbox I'm working with as a writer? - how does blanche win over pale in this context when blanche is the French word for the colour white? how do pallid, deathly pallor, sallow-faced and wan factor into this, when they're all variations of a similar thing? so which ones get a pass in a metaphorical sense, are there any? how does context factor into picking the right words? (for the sake of an example: pale skin vs pale brown skin) and which words do Black readers want to see if not the above? is it best practice to default to what's actually going on (e.g. they're in shock, they're cold, they suffer from blood loss and it shows)?
I'm an ESL writer so being able to navigate my dictionaries well is an important skill to me, and being able to contexualise these things always helps a lot in making better word choices (essentially - what are the tools I apply to get the result I need? is a simple definiton enough or do I also need cultural understanding and etimology? I write fantasy, so I do occasionally think these things to pieces)
It took me some time to answer this because- I have to be honest- I was quite offended at something you implied here 😅 I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, bc I don't think you meant to, but I will absolutely need you to reframe your thinking after this. I'm probably not gonna answer all your questions either, sorry.
They don't read different to Black people, they read different to y'all!
You must understand that, from some of the questions I've received, and from the things that many a Black reader has read by nonblack (usually white) authors, it is often clear that some of you do not understand how we function or even look as human beings. It's as though we're another species, sometimes.
And that is not brand new! The history of antiblackness in medicine and physiology is as old as racism itself! Thinking that we do not blush- even though blushing is a physiological, human reaction. "Paler", as though that itself is not a word used from a eurocentric perspective to describe blood leaving a pale face. Blanche is also a verb describing blood leaving the face, which happens to everyone, but like you said... Rooted in literal whiteness.
We use physiological descriptions for Black people because if we don't, y'all do not understand how these words- and thus the reactions- apply to us! Because sure, we could use "paled"- if yall understood that it doesn't mean we get lighter skinned. Sure, we could use "blushed pink"- if you understood that it doesn't mean our brown cheeks turn a whole different color. Sure, we could say "pallid as death"- the one time being grey would make sense on our skin, as it is dry- but y'all don't understand that that doesn't mean getting lighter skinned.
You do not understand me; you do not understand how I as a human being function, even though I know enough about you to write you up entirely! I don't think 'oh well when pale folk blush and the writing says "cheeks darkened", they must mean that they're getting more melanin in their cheeks!' That sounds silly, right? And yet!
We use this language because it better allows us to be a part of a conversation that doesn't happen when the language and thus the visuals obtained still default to whiteness. And this has an effect from storytelling to having illnesses diagnosed. We're literally dying out here because doctors don't know what to look for on our skin or in our bodies; doctors that think having melanin makes your skin thicker and that being Black makes you less susceptible to pain somehow, that Black women bear childbirth pain better (despite dying more often) or that being Black is a pre-existing condition.
These are not words I'd have to lean on, if I knew that you understood how my body works the way you understood your own (and hell, y'all don't always understand that either 😅). Alas. Hope this made sense 👍🏾
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djullyreviews · 2 days ago
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Why does Dr. Stone have a small fan community?
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Text without spoilers!! Text with adapted translation from Portuguese Brazil to English! Text with personal opinion!
I decided to rewatch the anime when I realized I wanted to know how this whole thing ended! I admit, the reason that ties the whole story together interested me from the beginning: why did all the people in the world turn to stone?
Since then, I ended up watching the entire first season, and here I am, watching the 4th season being released. It's amazing that there was something beyond the first season, but I remembered that it has the beneficial factor: being shounen.
I loved Cassanova Posse so much, thks ALI !!!
IT PROMISED NOTHING AT THE BEGINNING BUT IT'S DELIVERING HOT MEN AND FUN
Well then. I don't think I was the only one who wanted to drop the series when there was the scene with Ruri taking the antibiotic. That was extremely bizarre. It seems like it was even strange for hardcore shounen consumers (really???). I vaguely remember people wanting to "cancel" the series on social media for the following reasons: how the bodies were drawn and those hypersexualized scenes at questionable moments.
I suspect that this scene caused problems. It must have reached the ears of Boichi and the writer, as well as the anime's production studio. If a drastic change is noticed in the first season, we almost no longer have strange angles on female bodies as we saw in the first episodes.
I'm not saying that it doesn't have sexy and sexualized female bodies, it has the famous formula that is always used in manga for the male audience: big breasts, thin women, big butts and beautifuls womens.
They cut out so many unnecessary hypersexualized scenes of the girls that they were left with only hypersexualized scenes of the male characters, which clearly continued throughout the seasons, we have naked men with their butts in the sun in diving scenes (and much more).
This made me think that Boichi must do this when he draws, sexualizing both types of bodies, men and women. I don't know what kind of hentai and adult works he must have drawn, but I noticed this in Dr. Stone's work, even though it is far from being intended as adult content.
This excess of male nudity must have been strange to many who were watching, and if they were watching because of the girls in the anime… I feel sorry for you, but the anime took a different direction from the initial target audience they wanted, men, but they ended up hitting the FEMALE AUDIENCE.
Each new character is a man with a handsome face (with a few exceptions), a perfect body and a striking personality. There are very few new female characters joining Senku's nerd club.
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"There's no heterosexual explanation for this"
The straight couples ended up being erased, and they are couples that were well signaled by the authors. Now, the amount of scenes between men doing and saying brotherly things………things only got more intense as the seasons came out…… I started the anime thinking that the target audience was men, but in the end I felt like I was the anime's target audience.
Gen's existence is too "sugary" for a shounen work, or also his velvety voice every time he calls "senku-chan"…......
Stanley and Xeno appears delivering gay content, faster than the last BL works I've read in recent times.
Ryuusui exposed twice he is bisexual according to the Crunchyroll translation, it's very strange that he wasn't censored on Japanese TV.
Too many events to mention here...........
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THE APEX OF ABSURDITY IN THE WORK
One of the goals of this post is to help encourage everyone to watch Dr. Stone and give the anime a second chance. Let's gooo!!!
The authors embrace the height of absurdity in events:
Do you know DanDanDan? That's right, a popular shounen with a supernatural theme in which there are totally absurd events that the author uses the fuse of the strange to create the story and draw his manga.
Dr. Stone is not much different in this regard. The theme changes: science, physics, mathematics, chemistry and the like as weapons to write these events: they are so absurd that they are ridiculously funny.
Watching Dr. Stone is almost the same experience, silly, light, funny at times, something that you watch without having to think too much to understand what is being proposed and said there (and usually get some quick science lessons from Senku).
The protagonist is not boring by default, he is a nerd:
Our onion nerd is far from being the most boring protagonist I've seen in shounen manga (I've seen worse). If we have our darling Okarun the Ufology nerd, here we have Senku living and breathing science in every single episode.
Unusual character design:
Boichi did a great job designing several things, and one of them was the characters. He delivers the basics and does it very well, whether it's the villains or the protagonists.
I confess that Boichi's style is far from being my favorite, but I have to admit that he does his job as a mangaka very well.
Stop being hypocrites and complaining about the bodies in Dr. Stone while it exists and if other popular animes are consumed that do the same or worse, I don't see them wanting to "cancel" them because of that.
I didn't think the ending was bad at all (no spoilers):
I decided to look up the ending of the series so I could feel the disappointment now. I took a quick look around the internet and I'll be honest: it's not bad at all (there have been worse endings out there).
In this context, I recommend everyone do the same, research the ending at their own risk. Personally, it didn't discourage me from watching the anime until the end. I'm already "given in" to the characters, they captivated me and now there's no turning back (hottest charecters too).
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SO WHY DID DR. STONE'S AUDIENCE DISAPPEARED??
With each episode I watched, I asked myself the same thing.
Maybe it was because of the initial choices made in the first season (first arc), and many ended up dropping the show right there.
There's a chance it was because of the hypersexualized scenes in the first episodes with girls.
There's a chance that the male audience found it strange to see so many naked male bodies and not a single moment of naked female characters.
I suspect it's also a silent treatment because the show ultimately focused on the female audience, which must be the majority of those who buy and consume the show nowadays.
I also didn't understand if their idea was to make certain events absurd or not, it was only in the second season that I understood that it was completely intentional, and many must have stopped watching because of that.
Many are also bothered by the fact that we brought up the possibility of gay, bisexual, lesbian, and asexual characters. There are many predatory anime\manga in this sense, the characters do homosexual things, and we know that the authors will NEVER EVER make this official, clearly Dr. Stone is another one on that list.
So why do I see a small community on Dr. Stone's social media? Why don't people talk about it more? Could it be the posts I mentioned above? Or something else I'm not aware of?
I recognize that all of these factors are present in animes currently being released. Dr. Stone meets all of the requirements. Until now, it remains a mystery why it is rarely mentioned on social media.
END
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I appreciate any and all support for this blog that I created. Likes, reblogs or recommending it to other people is a great help. Until the next post.
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supervisormeero · 20 hours ago
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Nothing but respect for my Dedra Day main photo, smh Chip 😤 (I'm 10000% joking. This is my favorite photo of her, though, even though it's technically a BTS photo of Denise in costume.)
Anyway, of course I have to write an essay about Dedra Meero for Dedra Day. I've been unable to shut up about written many essays about Dedra over this stupid and endless hiatus, but here's another one.
I've talked about this quite a few times over the years, but I loved Dedra from her first scene. This show gave me a competent woman desperate to impress an authority figure and I went, "Oh, okay, so Star Wars is staring into my soul now." Not the fascism, obviously, but the way Dedra delivers her lines in those introductory moments — how excited and satisfied with herself she is for having the correct answer, and her visible mortification when she's wrong — spoke to me on a visceral level as a former student who based her self-worth on Setting the Curve and Being Smarter Than Everyone Else In the Room. I was also excited about the possibility of a formidable Imperial, and a woman, at that; I'm a fan of Thrawn, but to my knowledge, we hadn't seen a chillingly smart female Imperial on Dedra's level in a Star Wars movie or TV show before. As far as I know, she's unique in that regard. I loved Andor all the more for creating a female character who we can both root for and root against, and for not killing her off in "Rix Road."
And on the subject of that "root against," the interrogation with Bix is one of my favorite scenes in the whole franchise. It's just so... gritty. It's raw, but it's not vulnerable. There's so much work that went into both the crafting and the execution of it; what Dedra says, how Denise delivers the lines, how she's framed throughout those moments. When she interrogates Bix, she's not just the competent Imperial, the only one who gets it, the sole beacon of light among the darkness and muck of the bumbling ISB buffoons — she's nightmarish. Bix calling out Dedra's enjoyment of torture is the writers telling the audience what they want viewers to hear and understand: Dedra Meero is sadistic. She does this work not for a paycheck, a rank badge, or a cape: she does it because of her wholehearted belief in the system, and because she finds twisted joy in playing with her food. After all, she started out in Enforcement. She's been doing this sort of thing for (we assume) a long time, and the fact that whatever mechanisms guide empathy, compassion, or connection inside of a person seem to be lacking within her only makes her better at her job. Within the Empire, having zero emotion for the rebel whose brain you're about to scramble earns you a promotion. But watching her do it — seeing her lean over Bix with a smirk, listening to her tell Bix she won't believe anything she says, the cheek twitch — I'm obviously a Dedra fan, but I wouldn't want to be interrogated by her.
But the real fun of Dedra to me, at least, isn't her smarts or how scary she can be. It's how she fucks up, and how much of a disaster she is. When she initially loses her fight against Blevin in "Aldhani" and Partagaz sides with him over her, she looks like she's going to cry. She readily admits to Heert that she doesn't know what she's doing in her investigation. She's useless in a firefight and even more useless in any matters of intimacy, which I hope we'll delve into in Season 2. This woman is a virgin who has never even had her first kiss, and no matter what canon says, I will die on that hill. She has takeout containers piled in her office and takes stim pills to keep herself awake and short-circuits when Syril touches her and can't compute it when he saves her. Her personal life is coated in decades' worth of dust, and her apartment is either maintained within an inch of its life or a complete catastrophe because she doesn't have time to clean. She's not just smart, she's not just frightening: she's sort of a mess.
And here's where I'm circling around to Syril. (You knew it was coming.) Yeah, it's fun to be like, "She's so much better than him! Hahaha, she's going to eat him alive!" But is she better than him, really? By what metric? They're both socially incompetent, driven to uphold what they see as the best course of action for order and stability in the galaxy, and plenty smart. They both base their self-worth on external validation. They both unknowingly dump gasoline on their careers in Ferrix, and the citizens of Ferrix subsequently light a match and set their manicured paths up the Imperial ladder burning to the ground. Their narratives rhyme, and I'd go as far as to say they were created to be parallels of each other; Dedra is who Syril wants to be, and Syril is who Dedra might've been had she not found a way to fight and claw her way into the ISB. Working together, I think they'll be a formidable force. I'll be interested to see how, if at all, Dedra reacts to Syril's feelings for her. Denise has said Dedra isn't used to people being close to her, that she doesn't like to be touched, that she's frozen her personal life. How does Syril complicate or interact with that? Does she feel anything for him? Can she feel anything for him, beyond a sense of grudging obligation because he rescued her?
I'm going to mention Denise, too, because she's incredible and she deserves her own paragraph. Dedra is undoubtedly a well-written character, but Denise Gough's portrayal of her elevates Dedra even further. Every sneer, every raised eyebrow, every twitch, smirk, or snarl — there's such care taken with all of it, a deliberateness and power and expertise that any television show would be lucky to have, but we're especially lucky to have in Star Wars. If you haven't seen her in People, Places & Things, if you can afford a one-month subscription to the National Theatre at Home, you should check it out. It's the play that made her a well-known name in theatre circles and won her a ton of awards. It's also the part that got her the role of Dedra (Tony Gilroy saw her in the Broadway transfer), and she is superb in it. I can't wait to see what Denise has been given for Season 2, because I'm sure she'll elevate the hell out of some heavenly writing.
In conclusion: Dedra Meero is my favorite Star Wars villain ever, and one of my favorite Star Wars women ever, and one of my favorite Star Wars characters ever. I'm so happy she exists, I'm so happy she's terrible, and I'm so happy she's sticking around for Season 2. Happy Dedra Day. 🖤
Character Appreciation Friday - Dedra Meero
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Name: Dedra Meero Played by: Denise Gough Appearances: Aldhani, The Axe Forgets, The Eye, Announcement, Narkina 5, Nobody's Listening!, One Way Out, Daughter of Ferrix, Rix Road
Happy Friday gang! This week's character is not a woman in a man's world, but a-- well, you know the line by now. She's the sneer queen, she's the worst person you know, she's so much fun to watch even though she's doing very very bad things. She's Dedra Meero.
Tell me what you appreciate about Dedra in a reblog, comment, or ask!
Next week: Saw Gerrera
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Tentatively titled 'for all eternity, (idiot)', my Buddie The Mummy AU is now the longest piece of fic I've ever written, and I ain't even halfway.
Hoo, boy. We're in for something, I'm sure.
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ozcarr · 17 days ago
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It's been like a week since I watched it and I'm still digesting Transformers One
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sskk-manifesto · 8 months ago
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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wonder-worker · 11 months ago
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"The feast of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist being appointed as the day upon which the coronation of the king [Edward V] would take place without fail, all both hoped for and expected a season of prosperity for the kingdom."
— Excerpt from the Croyland Continuator / David Horspool, Richard III: A Ruler and Reputation
Even though Edward IV’s death was unexpected, after twelve years of peace there need not have been too much of a sense of foreboding about the succession. The great dynastic wound from which the Wars of the Roses had grown had not so much been healed as cauterized by the extinction of the House of Lancaster. There was no rush for London, as had happened in earlier, disputed successions. The royal party didn’t set out from Ludlow for ten days after hearing the news of Edward IV’s death, while Richard took his time, too. And the new king had [his mother the dowager queen and] two uncles to support him: his mother’s brother, the sophisticated, cultured, highly experienced Earl Rivers; and his father’s, the loyal and reliable Duke of Gloucester, to whom Edward IV had entrusted unprecedented power and vital military command.
... [Richard of Gloucester] had achieved his goal by a mixture of luck and ruthlessness, and if he made it appear, or even believed himself, that destiny played a part, this only made him a man in step with his times. Modern historians have no time for destiny, but sometimes the more ‘structuralist’ interpretations of the events surrounding the usurpation can come close to it. When we read that ‘the chances of preserving an unchallenged succession were . . . weakened by the estrangement of many of the rank-and-file nobility from . . . high politics, which was partly a consequence of the Wars of the Roses and partly of Edward IV’s own policies’, it is hard not to conclude that an unforeseeable turn of events is being recast as a predictable one. But without one overriding factor – the actions of Richard, Duke of Gloucester after he took the decision to make himself King Richard III – none of this could have happened. That is, when the same author concedes ‘Nor can we discount Richard’s own forceful character’, he is pitching it rather low*.
Edward IV had not left behind a factional fault line waiting to be shaken apart. Richard of Gloucester’s decision to usurp was a political earthquake that could not have been forecast on 9 April, when Edward died. After all, Simon Stallworth did not even anticipate it on 21 June, the day before Richard went public. We should be wary of allowing hindsight to give us more clairvoyance than the well-informed contemporary who had no idea ‘what schall happyne’. This is not to argue that Richard’s will alone allowed him to take the Crown. Clearly, the circumstances of a minority, the existence of powerful magnates with access to private forces, and the reasonably recent examples of resorts to violence and deposition of kings, made Richard’s path a more conceivable one. But Richard’s own tactics, his arrest of Rivers, Vaughan and Grey, the rounding up of Hastings and the bishops, relied on surprise. If men as close as these to the workings of high politics at a delicate juncture had no inkling of what might happen, the least historians can do is to reflect that uncertainty [...].
(*The author who Horspool is referencing and disagreeing with is Charles Ross)
#wars of the roses#edward v#richard iii#edward iv#my post#I'm writing a post on this topic but I have no idea when I'll finish it so I figured I should post Horspool's epic analysis#or should I say epic takedown? <3#friendly reminder that Richard's usurpation happened primarily and decidedly because of Richard's own decisions and actions#we need to stop downplaying his singular agency and accountability by casting the blame on others#most of all Elizabeth Woodville and her family but also the bizarre interpretation of historians like Ross and Pollard (et al)#who somehow hold Edward more responsible (through a 'structuralist' view as Horspool says) even though that literally makes no sense#also friendly reminder that actual contemporaries did not view Edward V's minority as a sign of worry and potential discontent#quite the opposite - they expected him to have a prosperous reign. which made sense since Edward IV left his son a far more stable#country than any former minor king (and most other adult kings tbh). The irony is that it was his son's usurper who benefitted from it.#also I added Elizabeth Woodville to the list because Edward V himself specifically said that he trusted the governance of the country#'to the peers of the realm and the queen' as quoted by Mancini (likely relayed to him by John Argentine)#and this is supported by evidence. After Edward's death the Croyland Continuator substitutes Elizabeth's role in the council#for that of the King: 'the counsellors of the king now deceased were present with the queen'#we know Elizabeth presided over all the council's decisions and initiated proposals (the size of her son's military escort) on her own#She was clearly the one with the most authority in the council (who were described as being present with *her* not anyone else)#Hastings made demands but he couldn't enforce them at all (and was in fact worried). It was clearly Elizabeth who had that power.#She was likely going to play a very prominent role during her son's minority and imo it's problematic to assume otherwise#(Lynda Pidgeon assumes otherwise but she's based her assumption on objectively false information so I don't think we should take her#seriously)(see: she claims that EW lacked influence compared to her male relatives in royal councils when EW HERSELF WAS IN ROYAL COUNCILS)#That's not to go too far the other direction and claim EW tried to dominate and tactlessly exclude others - we know she didn't#The impression we get by this first council and by Richard's own actions indicates that she Richard and Anthony would likely#work *together* when it came to governing the realm#I do find it frustrating when people disregard the fact that based on the impression we have she would've had a very visible#and powerful role
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quantomeno · 2 months ago
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I always feel mildly bemused when I read people post about stuff like systemic sexism in fandoms, particularly things like about how people complain more about female characters but ignore male characters with similar faults, or the fandoms loving gay ships but not making as much fanworks for lesbian ones.
Part of this is just because I like female characters (despite being male, I tend to prefer things with female leads etc) and I'm not that involved in a lot of fandom arguments nor do I read a lot of shipfics, so I only hear about a lot of the sexism when people complain about it. Which is kind of funny to me in the fact it must exist, but I'm just conveniently shielded from it.
The other reason is some of my earliest fandoms I got involved in were female-majority casts, so most people do ship the women. Like, I think Equestria Daily once put out an apology after they posted a Braeburn m/m fic (admittedly, the outrage from the bronies back then in 2012 or whenever was probably out of homophobia, which isn't nice either, but the point still stands that they were no issues with w/w shipfics and to this day they are the vast, vast majority of shipping fics (mostly because once you've shipped Braeburn, Sorin' and Big Mac together there aren't that many other guys left to ship, but nonetheless)). Or like Barbie with its vastly superior chemistry between the joint female leads over the threadbare male love interest they've thrown in. Even when the male leads are good, it's popular to ship the girls.
I don't think I have anything substantial to say. I just don't understand the issues other men (or indeed women) have with female characters (and women and femininity in general) (I mean I do understand I just find it bizarre it when like a friend of mine once said he wasn't really interested in stories with female leads. I don't know, maybe read more books with better female protags? I have a bookshelf's worth if you want suggestions) (also like when people suggest there needs to be more talk about good female characters like, most of my favourites are already females and I will gladly talk about them till the cows come home). But also that's just me.
Also I kind of do like m/m ships a fraction more but that's like 90% because I'm bi and so, you know, I like seeing guys together because I kind of would like to get together with a guy if the opportunity arose. But I mean other than that they're just ships. Like sure there can be a different vibe or flavour to w/w or m/m or straight ships, but I mean if they're good characters why should my interest depend on their genders? I read things to experience the lives of others, I don't want to just see stories that match my experience. And sometimes I empathise most with the female characters so like, you need to approach characters with an open mind. I don't know.
OK I'm rambling now. I think I made my point. I'm not sure what it was anymore but I guess it's that women in fiction are cool and I don't know what everyone else's problem is.
#also yeah just because I don't commonly experience this stuff doesn't mean I think it doesn't exist#because I've seen enough arguments about ATLA and TLOK to know people get annoyed with female leads more easily#to say nothing of other reported outrages in fandoms#And for my layton fans I have no issue with Kat as a lead. I think her in the anime is great. I just dislike the game lmj#but back to atla. I enjoy zukoXsokka stuff#pretty much just because it's kind of hot or cute#like I don't seriously ship them#I'm technically a SokkaXSukki shipper#a MaiXZuko shipper and a KataraXAang shipper#because I tend to just accept whatever ship is presented to me as the end result#but also because I was like 7 or 8 at the time#I didn't know about homosexuality#and I hadn't watched the book 2 finale nor book 3 at all#people take shipping to seriously too though like does it matter who you think are cute together?#like I ship Rainbow and AJ in mlp but also AJ and Rarity#and Flutterdash is also cute#like it's not like I believe only one will work#they're made up characters. Their personalities and existence are entirely contingent upon our choices#they don't actually have fixed or true selves#like we can dig into Layton's psyche but in reality we're kind of just making stuff up based on what we believe to be true#Level 5 did not write him to be a traumatised character but they did by accident#like that's fun to explore please keep doing it#but like....... there's not a correct interpretation#no one should insist on that#not even the writer if you believe in 'death of the author'#no wonder people on this site seem to have hated English classes growing up#they didn't learn to have fun debating alternate interpretations of things#anyway read books written by women about women they're great#if you take nothing else away from this rant#it's that
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tamtam-go92 · 2 months ago
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Guys I'm getting a bit anxious about the whole Win 10 support ending. My game runs so smooth on Win 10 and I really don't want to upgrade to Win 11. I see more and more Simmers swapping to Linux, but I literaly know nothing about this opperating system.
What do you guys think I should do? I also thought about going all the way back and dragging our old Win XP computer from the basement and reactivating it without internet connection to just use it for simming. Back in the day, this PC has been THE SHIT! My boyfriend built that one from scratch, back in the day. But I don't know if the software would be compatible with my monitor, mouse and keyboards.
Operating system really are a drag...
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junemary · 20 days ago
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Idk if it's the translation but in later chapters, the characters do seem to be all over the place. Not that peerless' focus point was ever in the antagonists but the villains are way too dumbed down in front of the protagonists in later chapters, even looking like the author had run out of ideas on how to make the characters look competent. This is par for the course in a lot of danmei so it's not like it's unreadable or anything, but I did get used to the inicial quality of the text and now.. it's just sad to see such a good story suddenly hit a plateau like this :(
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pipermca · 7 months ago
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New AO3 Tag Wrangling Policy and the Transformers Fandom
Edit in the event people come back to the original post: Please do not email AO3 about this issue. See their response about this issue!
(This is a long one, folks, but I think it's important.)
A new tag-wrangling policy on AO3 has the potential to create some massive confusion and chaos in the Transformers fanfic community, with regards to fandom tags. There is a Reddit post about it here with a focus on anime fandoms, but I want to give some concrete examples for the Transformers fandom on why we DO NOT WANT this, and why I think it's a horrible idea.
The Problem
Basically, AO3 is looking to get rid of the "All Media Types" fandom tag across the board, either by dismantling them or just not maintaining them. The Transformers - All Media Types tag has been an all-purpose tag that you could select when your story doesn't fall into any one specific continuity. Additionally, all most (see below) TF continuities on AO3 are considered a subtag of the Transformers - All Media Types tag. For example, if you look at the link above for all works in the All Media Types tag, you will see fics that are also tagged ONLY with Transformers: Animated, because it falls under the All Media Types tag.
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One exception: With the upcoming Transformers: One movie coming out imminently, there will likely be a big influx of stories tagged with Transformers: One. In fact, there are several already. However, it hasn't been linked to the larger Transformers - All Media Types tag yet. I wasn't worrying about it though, because I know these things can take time.
With information about this new tagging policy, however, I'm now wondering whether it'll EVER get linked to the All Media Types tag. If that happens, and when more continuities are developed in the coming years (since you know Hasbro loves creating new universes) this has the potential to cause massive confusion when looking for stories to read.
Searching for Stories with the New Tagging System
So let's say the All Media Types fandom tag isn't accurate anymore, because it no longer includes ALL of the continuities (such as TF:One). You will need to include ALL the Transformers continuities when browsing for TF fics.
How many tags is that? Well, here are all of the tags currently listed under the Transformers - All Media Types tag:
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Note that this doesn't include Transformers: One since it hasn't been categorized yet.
You will potentially have to have 40 or more different fandom tags in your search, just in case the author tagged their story with something you weren't expecting.
This massively decreases the findability of a story.
Tagging with the New System
The email response from the Tag Wrangling group (see the linked Reddit post above) seems to be a bit flip in the response to the user's concern. "...encourages creators to tag with the media they intend."
While I appreciate what they are attempting to do, this policy change feels like a solution in search of a problem, especially in larger fandoms with multiple continuities, versions, and media types that are all cross-pollinated in both canon and fanon. While I'm focusing on Transformers fandom, imagine a creator in the DC comic universe writing a story that incorporates bits and pieces from a dozen different reboots.
For example, let's say that I am writing a fic about Ratchet. I am using the setting of the original G1 episodes, but I also am using the characterization of him as a bit of an old man grump. That characterization originated in the Animated continuity, but I want to incorporate bits of pieces of his other characterizations as well (old friend of Optimus from TFP, Ratchet ran a faction-free clinic like he did in the War for Cybertron series, he's got a Decepticon boyfriend like in IDW1 - or maybe even Cyberverse, etc.)
With this new tagging structure, I might potentially have to tag the story with ALL of those continuities. So instead of just slapping down the "All Media Types" tag (and maybe one other fandom tag that matches the characters as best I can), I'll have to analyze my story and try to figure out how best to tag for the characters I used.
And what if you're doing a completely AU version of the story? For example, a humanformers story, or merformers? Using the All Media Types tag along with a Alternate Universe - Human or Alternate Universe - Mermaid tag worked perfectly, since you weren't writing the story to fit into one specific continuity. But now, that might not be an option.
What To Do??
The first thing I would suggest is to contact AO3 (using the Feedback and Support page) and let them know (nicely) that you think this is a horrible idea. Give them some examples on how you use the All Media Types tag to find stories to read, or to help you tag a story. People outside of the Transformers fandom don't always appreciate how absolutely tangled the continuities can be with each other, and providing examples might help them see why this would be a really messy change.
Readers: Be aware that when you are looking in the All Media Types tag, it will no longer show newer continuities. And if AO3 starts dismantling that tag like they suggested they are doing, be aware that some stories won't show up in that tag like they used to. You can also create and then bookmark a custom search page that includes all 40+ continuities. REALLY annoying, but it's a workaround.
Writers: Until they start dismantling the All Media Types tag, ALWAYS ALWAYS tag your stories using Transformers - All Media Types... Especially for newer continuities. This will be especially important if you are writing a Transformers: One story. Right now, anyone who is only browsing the All Media Types tag will not see a story tagged only with Transformers: One. Make sure you're aware of how tags work and how they can affect the visibility and findability of your story.
Epilogue
Ugh. That's a lot of words for a long-weekend Saturday. And maybe I'm overreacting a tiny bit. But my work involves information architecture, and this change just absolutely baffles me. It's almost as though they want to make it harder to find stories. Considering that AO3 won a Hugo partially because of its fantastic tagging system, this change seems like AO3 is doing its best to shoot itself in the foot.
When you have a square hole, a round hole, and a rectangular hole… Yeah, you DO want each peg to go in the "right" hole. But if all of the pegs fit in the square hole, who cares? You got the job done.
I love you @ao3org, but please reconsider this change... Especially for IPs that are as old and are as varied as Transformers.
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vanteguccir · 4 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤTOO MUCH * CHRIS STURNIOLO
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SUMMARY :: where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
FEATURING Chris Sturniolo x reader REQUESTED? yes.
WARNINGS :: insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
AUTHOR'S NOTE :: that is my work, I DON'T authorize any form of plagiarism; copy, "inspiration" or translation! | english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
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The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
© vanteguccir
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halfgirl-halfdolll · 3 months ago
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Extremely self-indulgent. For the neurodivergent girlies. English isn't my first language, so my apologies for any mistake. I also have no idea how to write a Scottish accent 🧘🏻‍♀️ bear with me
You knocked on the dark hardwood door as you've had done plenty of times before.
It has been almost six months since you've signed that contract. That one, the one where you forfeited 4 years of your life in exchange for stable wages and proper housing.
For someone with no life, no family and no friends (besides the online weirdos you'd talk to from time to time), that was kinda good, if you could say so yourself.
You had stability, even though it came with the cost of being tied down to a military base chock-full of people who didn't really understand you.
That was fine though. THAT, you were used to. It comes with the neurodivergence: the side eyes, the whispers and the isolation.
What you weren't used to, however, was how your heart would race like a rabbit on a run for its life whenever you knocked on that one door. And you had to knock on it quite a lot of times.
You rapped your knuckles against the hardwood once more when you got no reply, cracking the door open just a little bit to peek inside.
"Cap?" You said, voice almost a whisper. After a few seconds, you heard an answer.
"Come in, love. Didn't know it was you." A strong, booming voice came from inside and you swallowed the lump on your throat that always formed whenever you had to go to Price's office.
Not because you were afraid of him, no. On the contrary. Maybe Price and the rest of the task force were the only ones who didn't treat you like an aberration – probably because they were aberrations of their own merit.
Maybe it was stupid of you to get giddy over being treated well by some of your coworkers, but when the bare minimum was so rare, you latched onto it like a dog with a bone.
And in spite of yourself, you couldn't control your own heart. It would be racing like a schoolgirl with a crush whenever you went to visit any of the men from the task force. You gave up on trying to tame it.
"Hi Cap" you said, with a small smile, approaching his desk. On the corner of your eyes, you saw the other three burly men that made up 141 and waved.
"Hey, lass, good ta see ya!" Soap hollered, voice loud as ever. You could probably feel it vibrating inside your bones if he spoke for a little longer and you loved it; as much as you envied it. What wouldn't you do to be just a little bit outgoing like that? Maybe things would be just a tad easier.
"How can I help my favorite secretary?" Price asked, the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he smiled, crow's feet getting a lot more pronounced in a way you probably thought of more than you should.
You scoffed, rolling your eyes.
"I'm your only secretary."
"Doesn't make my statement any less true."
You shook your head and placed a manila folder in front of him.
"I need your autograph, Cap."
"What for?"
"Because I'm your biggest fan and I wanna put it on my refrigerator...?" You answered humorously, and Price raised an eyebrow. You sighed. "We need to authorize the training of a few new recruits and they need your approval. So I need you to sign it."
Price huffed out a low chuckle and began leafing through the needlessly thick document. You poked your finger into the folder, fishing out the last pages, and walked towards the other men sitting on the other side of the office.
"I like today's dress, love." Gaz was manspreading on one of Price's armchairs, head resting on his palm as he gave you an once over. If it were anyone else, you'd probably hate the way you were being perceived – it usually made you feel like a bug being watched through a magnifying glass. But under his gaze, you just felt like a doll being admired.
"Do you, now? It's one of my favorites." You bowed dramatically while holding the hem of the dress. It was just another one of the black frilly dresses that you wore like a signature. It flew around you as you spun on your feet to show the black ribbon on the back.
"Adorable as always. If I wasn't selfish, I would say it's wasted inside this base, but I like to have you around way too much." His eyes gleamed with mirth and, in any other situation, you'd think he was secretly mocking you – but not Kyle. Not any one of them. You knew the compliments were genuine, even if they didn't understand why you insisted on sticking out like a sore thumb when it brought you so many problems.
You knew they would never really understand how masking could hurt you, but you were grateful they still defended your decision on just being yourself.
"Look at tha' key on yer neck." Soap pointed at your necklace. "I ken what's tha' for. It's the key to my heart, aye?" He said with an exaggerated wink and a smile that could blind you.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." You rolled your eyes, smiling, and pushed a paper into his hand and did the same with Gaz and Ghost.
"I need your autographs as well. You heard my explanation already."
" 'm not built for a life of fame, love." Simon grunted, shifting on his seat right beside Soap.
"Too late, the spotlight already found you. Now you gotta give me your autograph or I'm gonna cancel you on social media."
He huffed.
"Don't ya think I should have been canceled a long time ago?"
"Probably." You shrugged, and handed him a pen. "I like my favorites problematic, what can I say."
Soap barked out a laugh, mindlessly scanning the document and Ghost merely shook his head.
"Do I gotta sign this? Don't really feel like training new runts." The masked man muttered and you shrugged.
"Don't shoot the messenger. I don't really want new young men around me either." You walked back towards Price's desk after collecting the documents and placed them neatly inside the folder after he was done surveying every single fine print.
"What do you guys want for lunch?" You asked as you tucked the documents under your arm. Price clicked his tongue.
"You don't have to keep bothering with making food for us, love. We can all eat at the canteen like everyone else." The older man leaned back on his chair, folding his arms.
You looked to the side, with a small pout on your lips.
"But if I make you guys' lunch, then I can emotionally blackmail you into eating with me at the kitchen." You mumbled, avoiding any and all eye contact.
"So it was all a ploy to keep us nearby? I thought you were doing that because you liked us. I'm so hurt, dear." Kyle spoke up from his seat, a dramatic hand over his chest as he leaned his head back. You put a hand over your mouth, hiding your grin.
"Maybe I'm just learning a thing or two from hanging around tacticians?"
"Aw, Captain, come on. How can we leave the poor doll hangin'? And we get ta eat actually good food, not that canteen slop! Come on!"
Price sighed, shaking his head in defeat.
"Anything you make will be great, love."
"As long as it has proteins and carbs." Ghost added from his seat and you snickered. He had already seen you eating your comfort foods before and, needless to say, he didn't approve of them.
"As long as it has proteins and carbs." Price repeated, with a nod.
"Proteins and carbs, okay, got it." You said with a fierce nod, walking back towards the door to the older man's office. "Meet you guys at the kitchen?"
"1200, sharp." Price said, with eyes as soft as the smile under his moustache. You gave him a small salute on your way out.
"Yessir."
This will probably be a little anthology of scenes I think of, involving poly!141 x neurodivergent reader who works for them as a secretary. They might not have much continuity but I'm using this as a self-healing, self-indulgent blog, separated from my main. Expect mostly fluff and angst from me.
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luvyeni · 5 months ago
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( reaction ) telling them you aren't wearing panties ! ୨୧ 一 스트레이키즈 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ skz reaction to you not wearing panties ヾ
boyfriend!스트레이키즈・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ no penetration , pet play? , degradation wc ・ ‎1.2k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. hii I hope you remember mee~ it's okay if you don't tho I'm just here to ask I'd you could do a similar reaction to this one with riize but with skz instead. The one saying their reaction to not wearing any panties on the date. Thank you so much I love you and always remember to stay safe <333
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 here you go ! enjoy it love <3
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﹙ 𐙚 : bangchan ﹚ .ᐟ
thought his eyes were deceiving him; surely you would wear underwear with a skirt that short. he didn't say anything until you slid into the booth and he could see your ass poking from under the skirt , he slid right in making sure no one saw you. “what the fuck?” he sat down next to your. “where are your fucking panties babygirl?” he gritted through his teeth , just as the waiter was about to make his way over to your table. “i didn't wear any.” he could see that , what he couldn't figure is why the fuck were you trying to turn him on in this restaurant right now. “you're we already paid for the reservations.” he said , kissing your temples because the server was close. “what can I do for you guys?” he waited for the boy to leave before turning back to you.
“daddy is gonna ruin you when we get home , trust baby.”
﹙ 𐙚 : lee know ﹚ .ᐟ
he knew you were up to something , the fact that you were a little too excited to get out of the car and into the restaurant. “you must be really hungry huh?” you didn't say anything though , but that glint in your eye and that smirk he swore he saw made him curious. “what are you up to?” he said. “nothing” you smiled “innocently” and he damn sure wasn't buying it. “i have to go to the bathroom.” you got up leaving the boy alone , not even 2 moments later his phone buzzed , he picked it up , your plans becoming evident. “i fucking knew it.” he cursed. you sat back down to a seething lee know. “fucking slut you aren't wearing any underwear.” you giggled , knowing he wouldn't do anything in public , but you knew you were also done for after the date , he leaned over so you could only hear him.
“let's see if you find it later when your pussy is battered from cock and you still haven't came.”
﹙ 𐙚 : changbin ﹚ .ᐟ
you knew changbin couldn't resist praising you. “binnie , binnie look at my new shoes.” he genuinely wanted to see the shoes , looking under the table , only to be met with your legs widened. his head shot up looking at you with wide eyes. “b-baby.” he was flustered , it made you giggle. “where are your panties?” he whispered , you shrugged. “didn't feel like wearing any.” he was bewildered honestly , turned on but bewildered , he didn't even give a fuck about those shoes anymore not the food. “give me a minute , gonna pay the bill.” he stood up. “wait what about the food?”
“I'll ask them to wrap it up to go , no way im gonna sit through dinner knowing how wet you are sitting across from me.”
﹙ 𐙚 : hyunjin ﹚ .ᐟ
you knew your man loved to take pictures of you during your dates , so it was perfect. you waited for him to get up from the seat to “use the bathroom” you knew he was just going to pay the bill so you wouldn't try and pay , but you let it be — quickly slipping into his seat , taking your panties off , looking around before slipping them into his jacket pocket. you smiled as you slipped back into your seat as he came back down. “how was the bathroom?” he smiled , knowing he was caught. “let me take a few photos baby.” he reached into his jacket , furrowing his eyebrows as he pulled out the lacy material. he smiled, shoving the panties back into his jacket. “you little minx.” you giggled. “my favorite pair too.”
“we should skip dessert so we can get home and i can take some photos of you laid out in bed all pretty for me.”
﹙ 𐙚 : han jisung ﹚ .ᐟ
you purposely dropped the fork on to the floor, and the poor boy just trying to be a good boyfriend crawled under the table to get it for you — only to be met with your legs wide open , your bare pussy on display. a small “fuck” leaving his mouth making you smirk as he came back from under the table , his face red as he sat the fork down. “yo-you're not wearing any panties.” he whispered , his hands coming up to his cock , fixing himself. “wh-why.” he whined , upset because he was unable to do anything because you had already denied his request to leave. “i want dessert , don't be selfish sungie.”
“why would you show me if you were just gonna torture me like this baby , im gonna cum just sitting here thinking about it.”
﹙ 𐙚 : felix﹚ .ᐟ
“i think i left my lipstick in the car.” know felix kept a spare always in his pocket for you. “don't worry baby i go it.” he reached into his jacket pocket next to him. “what is this?” he innocently took out the lace , eyes widened as he shoved it back inside. “baby when did you do that?” he said , he was sure you were wearing them when you left the house , he was in the room when you were getting dressed. “i took the off when you went to pay the bill.” he gulped adams apple bobbing. “baby fuck it's hard enough to see you dressed so pretty for me , but knowing you're pussy is probably dripping on to the seat is painful love.”
“let's skip dessert tonight , i got something else sweet i want to eat and i don't think i can wait until we get home.”
﹙ 𐙚 : seungmin ﹚ .ᐟ
you knew it would piss him off — that's why it was perfect to do it to him. your heart was racing as you hit send on your phone , your legs shaking as you watched him pick up his phone to read the message , his eye lifting up to yours , filled with a lust filled angry glare. he didn't say anything , lifting up the table cloth looking under , quietly coming up. “can't take a mutt like you anywhere can i?” he growled , you were dripping for him. “i want to go home.” you whined , needing him. “no , you're gonna sit there until the date is over.” he said , you rolled your eyes. “don't think because we're in public i won't embarrass you , i'll make you kneel right here.” you immediately stopped unsure if he was serious, but you weren't about to test that theory.
“act like a bad dog and i’ll treat you like one , let's see how funny you think this stunt is later.”
﹙ 𐙚 : jeongin ﹚ .ᐟ
was he already looking at your ass? yes , yes he was — but that was besides the point , he could easily tell you were missing your panties through the dress. “sit the fuck down.” he hissed , you pretended to be confused , tilting your head in fake innocence. “are you fucking joking?” he growled , leaning over the table. “you aren't wearing any fucking panties.” he wanted to wipe that smile clean off your face. “didn't want panty lines.” you shrugged him off. “waitress is coming.” he could care less about the waitress. “then you wear a thong or something , i don't know.” but you wave him off. “this look is much better.” the waitress coming closer , he leaned over whispering one final threat.
“laugh now baby , shit won't be funny when your ass is sore and pussy is begging for my cock and you don't get it.”
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©LUVYENI
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seospicybin · 9 months ago
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THE BABYSITTER.
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PART I
Felix x reader x Hyunjin. (s,f)
Chapters: Part II / Final part.
Synopsis: Working as the family's babysitter, you learn a lot from Hyunjin and Felix's happy marriage, including their sex life. (13,3k words)
Author's note: Sorry for the late delivery. Hope you enjoy this one too!
Unlike any other toddlers, little Aster has a liking for vacuum cleaners. Instead of going to the toy store, he prefers going to the electronic store to look at vacuums, he doesn't play with them but likes hearing their sounds. You believe it's because it offers a similar sound to the white noise machine he has in his room.
"Vacuum!" He adorably shouts, jumping on his little feet while pointing at the vacuum on the display.
"Yes, vacuum!" You nod.
"Wanna play!" He cutely mumbles while tugging his index finger between his two front teeth.
Seeing that it is displayed on the top shelf, there's no way you can put it down yourself and risk knocking the other things on the display, you squat down to be on the same eye level with him.
"It's too heavy," you tell him, gently patting his small head.
You point at the one on the bottom shelf and offer it to him to play, "How about this one?"
He eagerly nods, watching you take the vacuum cleaner for a spin even though it's not turned on. You carefully hand it to him, letting him hold the handle with his small hand, and push it through the aisle of the electronic store.
"Do you like it, Aster?"
He's laughing as he keeps pushing and making vacuuming sounds through his little mouth. His laughter is so infectious that you can't help but laugh as well.
The journey in the electronic store continues to the lawnmowers. You let Aster walk on his own and observe the lawnmowers parked throughout the whole section.
"Car!" He says as he taps at the tire of the red lawnmower.
"It's not a car," you inform, lifting him by the waist and putting him on the lawnmower.
He turns his head at you with a questioning look on his face.
"It's a lawnmower," you tell him.
"Lamoomoowee," he incorrectly pronounces it, riding the lawnmower like a hobbyhorse.
"Lawnmower," you slowly enunciate it for him while steadily holding his back to prevent him from falling.
"Lammowah," he gets it even wrong this time and as if he knows he says it wrong, he breaks into a wide grin.
Oh, this is why you like children, they're pure and innocent, as opposed to adults who are oftentimes complicated and messy. With children, you get to be honest and open, you don't have to be afraid of being judged, and they see you for what you truly are.
"You're blessed with a beautiful boy," a lady says as she gently gives Aster a quick ruffle on his hair.
You feel flattered whenever someone thinks that Aster is your child but if his real parents caught anyone saying that to you, you're sure they'd be offended.
"Oh, thank you!" You mutter with a smile, "But I'm just the babysitter."
"Oh?" The lady gasps in surprise, then gives Aster another ruffle and a gentle pinch on his cheek before leaving you be.
Your phone dings in your jacket pocket and you pull it out to check if it's coming from Aster's dad. Indeed it is and he's almost finished getting his hair done.
"Aster baby, we have to go," You say to him, taking him by the hand and putting him back into the stroller, "Dada is waiting!"
You're told to meet him by the entrance of the supermarket so as you're pushing the stroller, you're craning your neck to find him.
"There's dada!" You exclaim once you spot him.
Aster is giggling as he is strapped into his seat as you push the stroller at full speed and start wriggling his body when he notices his father waving his hand at him.
"Hi, sweet boy," Felix says to his son, unbuckling the straps around his chest and lifting him.
"Are you having fun?" He asks the little one with a boop on his nose.
"Yes," Aster answers with a nod and presses his mouth onto Felix's cheek.
"We just got back from looking at vacuums," you share while holding onto the stroller.
"Must be fun. Dada is jealous," he jokingly says while hoisting Aster higher in his arms.
He then turns to look at you and shows his new hairstyle, it's still blonde but it looks like he trimmed it a little.
"What do you think?" He asks for your opinion while giving his hair a subtle flip.
You lowly chuckle, "You look stunning!"
"Thank you," he says, then turns at Aster to ask for his approval next, "Do you like it, Aster?"
"Yes," he shortly says, it's unsure whether he understands the question or not but it's enough to make Felix smile in response.
This is when you find the resemblance between Aster and his dad, they share the same warm genuine smile with their nose slightly scrunched.
The trip continues with a grocery shopping and Aster gets distracted by the plush toys on the shelf, pointing at the one that looks like the pet dog at home.
"Mandu!" He shouts in excitement.
You grab one and hand it to him, letting him play with it as he sits inside the trolley.
"It indeed looks like Mandu," Felix says as he puts a loaf of bread into the trolley.
"What a lovely couple!" An elderly says as she walks past the three of you.
Felix and you automatically exchange a look and then burst into laughter at the same time.
This is not the first time both of you have heard such a thing. Whenever the two of you are together, especially with Aster around, it seems to them that the two of you are married and Aster is your love child.
First of all, you wouldn't mind having Felix as a husband, he's beautiful and kind, he's a successful food blogger who has written dozens of cookbooks, and ultimately, a good dad to Aster.
Unfortunately, Felix is very well taken and is happily married to his husband, Hwang Hyunjin.
-
"Bubba!"
That's a nickname Aster likes to call you, you pick up his toy from under the sofa in case it's what he tries to say to you.
"Yes, sweet Aster?"
"Water, please?" He sweetly asks while rubbing his chest with his hand, a sign language that means 'please'.
"I'll get it for you," Felix says from the kitchen even though he's busy preparing dinner.
You stay with Aster, keeping him company as he's playing with his toys in front of the TV.
Felix comes with Aster's water bottle and offers it to his son himself, he watches as he sucks water through the straw.
"My sweet boy is thirsty, huh?"
Aster swallows his drinks and gasps in exaggeration, "Thank you, dada!!" He cutely mutters.
"You're very welcome, angel," he says back and kisses the top of his head.
Felix may seem tough with his lean, toned body and his deep voice but that's just what he appears to be. As opposed to tough exteriors, he has a very tender soul and is not afraid to show it.
"Do you mind turning on the news?" He politely asks.
"Yep, sure," you say, flicking the TV channels to the one you know he wanted to see.
Felix's husband, Hyunjin, works as a news anchor in a TV station and he usually works either the noon or the night news but at times, he does one in between those times.
"I texted him, telling him to wink if he wants Martinis served when he comes home," Felix says as he's chuckling while his hand constantly playing with Aster's hair.
"Oh? What?" You gasp and you must admit that an interesting way to flirt with one another, "You think he'll do it?"
Felix shrugs but he knows what he's doing because who doesn't like having drinks served when you come home after a long day of work? Not you, obviously and it's sad that no one does that for you.
A few minutes later, the breaking news intro flashes through the screen and you guess this must be it. Hyunjin's long and angular face fills the screen, his dark hair slicked back and he wears a tie in a color that compliments his skin tone well.
"Look, Aster! That's Daddy!" You say as you shake his hand in excitement.
Aster looks up from his toy and sees his dad's face on the screen, his face lights up like a Christmas tree once he sees him.
"Daddy!" He shouts.
"That's Daddy," Felix says, planting another kiss on Aster's head.
Mandu barks noticing the familiar face on TV and starts standing on his hind legs as if he's trying to reach Hyunjin through the screen.
"The meeting of the 49th Asia Audit Committee was held on 11 March at the Asia Hall to discuss matters related to audit, risk, and governance of the secretariat," Hyunjin eloquently reads the news then there it is, the wink. It's so subtle that it may seem like he was trying to blink but it's a wink.
Felix cracks a laugh, probably not expecting that he would actually do it on national broadcast and in the middle of him reading the news.
"Well, guess we'll be having Martini tonight," he says as he gets up from the carpeted floor, "You should stay for dinner because you don't want to miss it."
You feel bad for always turning down his offer and you reckon it's time to accept the invitation for dinner. Also because Martini sounds like a nice treat.
"Well, since I'm driving, I'll only have one Martini," you remind him.
"Wise choice!" He comments.
To be honest, it's always a treat to have dinner at this household. Despite his specialty in baking, Felix is a great cook and you'd love to have dinner here every day if you could but you don't want to be greedy and exploit their kindness. Boundaries exist for a reason and you respect those boundaries because at the end of the day, they're your employers and you are the employee.
Hearing the familiar sound of his dad's car pulling up the driveway, Aster runs to the door with Mandu trailing behind him, he's squealing with saliva dribbling down one corner of his mouth.
You abruptly stop setting the table to follow him and are ready to help if he accidentally trips or falls, you stop him from going further and make him wait in the foyer.
"Daddy will be here soon," you assure him, containing his excitement with one arm around his waist.
A moment later, the door opens and Hyunjin steps inside, he's still dressed in his work attire sans the suit jacket, he has his white shirt loosened around the neck and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
Aster jumps as he squeals and you can't contain him anymore, you let him run at his dad. Hyunjin is quick enough to get on his knees and catches him in his arms.
"Is this Aster or monster Aster?" He likes to baby talk to the little one while pressing ticklish kisses onto his neck.
"This is monster Aster!" He playfully tickles Aster's stomach, making him squirm and giggle, more drool dribbling down his mouth.
"Give Daddy a kiss!" He demands, offering his cheek at him.
Aster opens his mouth wide and instead of kissing, it looks like he's going to take a bite out of Hyunjin's cheek.
"Ouch! That hurts!" He exclaims, rubbing his cheek which is wet with Aster's drool.
You gasp when you see the faint teeth mark on Hyunjin's cheek, "Oh, my God! You have the—" you point at his cheek.
"This is not the first time," Hyunjin calmly says to you while walking further into the house, he drops his briefcase on the sofa and comes up to his husband who's busy making sure the spaghetti sauce is flavorful.
Hyunjin places a hand on the small of Felix's back and leans in for a long, lingering kiss on the lips. Felix drops everything he's doing to properly welcome him home with a hu and not enough with one kiss, Felix pecks his lips and smiles when he pulls away.
"Aster bit me," Hyunjin immediately tells on his own son like a child, pointing at the teeth mark on his cheek.
Felix hurriedly checks it and gently rubs it with his thumb, "Aster, you bit daddy?"
"Monster Aster!" He mumbles in response to Felix.
"Oh? Monster Aster who bit daddy?"
"Uh-huh," he repeatedly nods.
"Monster Dada is coming to bite you then," Felix jokingly says.
Aster breaks into laughter and then hides in Hyunjin's neck as Felix attacks him with kisses on his stomach. It's just the three of them in their loving bubble.
"What are we having for dinner?" Hyunjin asks with his hand placing gentle rubs on Felix's back.
"Spaghetti with meatballs, Aster's favorite," He answers while stirring sauce in the pan.
"Smell good," Hyunjin comments, and then they exchange a look that is filled with so much love.
The whole interaction makes you feel like you're watching a movie scene that describes what a happy, loving family looks like. Your heart bursts thinking if the future holds something like this for you too.
"Can you stay with Bubba, darling?" Hyunjin says to his son, coming up to you to hand him over.
"Daddy will get back soon, okay?" He convinces him with a kiss on the cheek before leaving to go upstairs.
"And you, young gentleman, time to wash those dirty hands," you tell him.
Dinner is served on the table and just from the look of it, you can tell Felix's cooking is going to taste so good like always. Once in a while, you check Aster if he's eating his dinner well and from the way his mouth is slobbering with spaghetti sauce, you can tell he is.
"Isn't it like spring break for you?" Hyunjin suddenly asks.
You swallow your food before answering, "Yes."
"And you don't have any plans for spring break?"
"I do. The plan is playing with your 18-month-old son," you playfully answer while twirling pasta with your fork.
Hyunjin doesn't ask more about it, you guess he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable with those kinds of questions.
"She doesn't like going out much," Felix says then flashes a knowing smile at you, "Just like you."
Hyunjin pouts at him in response but Felix finds it cute that he grabs his hand on the table and squeezes it.
"Is that true?" Hyunjin asks for confirmation from you.
"Yeah. I just want to finish college as soon as possible and I can do all those things later," you explain.
You understand that this way of thinking is unlike most people but you like to keep your focus on one thing and that is finishing your education.
You didn't even plan to keep working as their babysitter, you needed the extra money to replace your crappy car but as time goes on, you learned that they're a nice family and Aster is such a sweetheart so you decide to continue working for them until you graduate.
"Look at me, baby!" You say as you wipe Aster's mouth with a wet wipe.
He keeps wanting to nestle his head in your neck but you can't let him do that with all the spaghetti sauce all over his mouth and cheeks.
"You're getting sleepy, mmh?" you sweetly mutter as you reach to clean his cheek but he keeps dodging away.
It's not even his bedtime yet and Aster usually plays for a bit after dinner, but it seems like he can barely keep his eyes open anymore.
Hyunjin checks on you and notices that Aster is getting drowsy, "I'll get him to bed," he softly mutters to you.
You carefully hand Aster to him and he immediately nuzzles his head into the crook of his neck, then rest his eyes closed.
Since Hyunjin is taking your task away, you decide to help Felix clean up in the kitchen, scraping the leftovers off the plate to load them into the dishwasher next.
"You don't have to do that," Felix says as he's busy gathering the ingredients for the Martini.
"But I already did," you say with a grin and close the dishwasher, "Can I help you with anything?"
He looks over his shoulder at you, "Yeah, can you take the cocktail glasses out of the fridge?"
"Got you," you open the fridge and have no problem finding the three chilled dainty cocktail glasses perched on the the middle shelf of the fridge.
Felix meticulously measures the liquor, one part dry vermouth, and 6 parts gin before pouring them into the mixing glass, then gives it a good shake.
Once he deems it's mixed well, he carefully pours them into the glasses and instead of olives, he uses the lemon peel as garnish.
You're impressed with his drink-mixing skill but more impressed with how elegant he looks doing all that stuff.
"I want to be you when I grow up," you say in awe.
That earns a nice chuckle out of him as he wipes the kitchen island with a napkin, "You will," he playfully says.
"Now, where's my hard-earned Martini?" Hyunjin says as he returns from putting Aster to sleep and comes back carrying Mandu in one arm.
Felix lifts the drink and shows it to him, "It's ready!"
After having a toast, you can't bring yourself to drink it because it looks so pretty but not drinking it would be rude to the one who made it. You take a small sip and try to reserve it as long as possible.
It's so refreshing and nice, you can taste a hint of citrus from the lemon. You believe it's the first time you have a drink that is skillfully made by some.
"This is so good," you genuinely compliment and can't stop yourself from getting another sip at it.
"Compliment to the chef!" Hyunjin says with a seductive smile and pulls Felix closer to his side, resting his arm around his waist.
There's the look of love again and you can tell what's coming after that, yep, Hyunjin kisses Felix on the lips with his smile lingers on his face.
Flustered, Felix hides his face in his neck exactly like Aster did earlier.
"You always smell good, babe," Felix whispers and he probably thinks that you don't see him planting kisses onto Hyunjin's neck.
Hyunjin tilts Felix's head to land a sweet kiss on his lips and they smile at each other after, "I like it whenever you do that," he mutters, pulling him even closer to his side.
All of a sudden, you feel like third wheeling, you abort your plan to savor every sip of your Martini and gulp it at once.
"It's getting late. I'd better go," you say, putting the glass down on the kitchen island.
Not waiting for their response, you gather your things and shove them into your bag. You're walking back to them to say bye.
"Be careful on the way home," Felix says as he gives you a quick hug.
You hoist the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder, "I will. Goodnight!"
"I'll send you off," Hyunjin offers, walking you out of the door, and as you take the car keys out of your bag, he snatches it.
"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" He asks.
"It's only one drink," you assure him.
"Sobriety test. Go!" He says, refusing to make a compromise.
You subtly roll your eyes at him and walk in a straight line to prove that you're not under the influence and sober enough to drive.
"See?" You tell him as you turn around to face him.
"Now, do a cartwheel!" He orders, leaning his side against the doorway.
"Seriously?" You groan.
Hyunjin bursts out laughing, "No. I'm joking."
He approaches you to hand your car keys back and puts them right in your hand, "Here. Drive safely."
"I will."
"Thank you for today," he says as he stands in the doorway.
You flash him a smile before getting into your car, "Goodnight, Mr. Hwang!" You poke fun, knowing how much he hates being called by his surname.
"It's Hyunjin," he insists while gritting his teeth.
You have the fun now and chuckle, "Goodnight, it's Hyunjin!" You shout as you pull the car out of the driveway.
That's pretty much how your day went in the Hwang-Lee household. You've been working for them for eight months and there's not a day where you don't feel jealous of their romantic and harmonious marriage life.
-
They don't make you babysit on the weekends but there's always an exception.
Tonight is a date night for Felix and Hyunjin, and you come a little after seven even though they'll leave at 8. You knock on the door and let yourself in, they probably know you'll be coming anyway.
"Bubba is here!" Felix says, knowing that it's you who came through the door.
Aster appears from behind the wall and grins when he looks at you, he's trudging his way to you and almost stumbles on his own little feet.
"It's Astalalala," you exclaim, calling him by the nickname you give him. You squat down to hug him and catch a whiff of that nice baby scent that clings to him.
"How are you, sweet Aster?" You ask.
"Good," he shortly answers.
"And where's my kiss?" You ask, tapping your cheek to show him where to kiss.
He rushes to kiss you on the cheek and instead of his lips, his nose bumps your cheek first.
"Thank you, Astalala," you sweetly say with a smile.
You carry him up as you walk inside and find Felix in the kitchen as you expected, he is already dressed in a dark silk shirt with a tie-neck collar and is making sandwiches.
"Hey, I made you a cold-cut sandwich," He says, shoving a piece of cheese into his mouth.
"Oh, no. I had dinner," you meekly say, feeling bad for refusing.
"Well, you can have it later," he simply resolves.
"With pleasure," you respond because it looks so good and you'll definitely eat it as soon as you get hungry.
"Aster had his dinner already," He informs you as he puts back everything into the fridge.
He suddenly lands a slap on his forehead as if he's just remembered something, "Oh, I forgot to change his pillow covers."
"Don't worry, I'll do it," you assure him.
He awkwardly stands in front of you and asks, "Is it too much?"
"Not at all. You look stunning," you convince him, turning your head at Aster to seek his approval, "Right, Aster?"
"Yesss," he hisses through his bunny teeth.
"Thank you, sweetheart," Felix says and presses a kiss on his round cheek.
As you take Aster to the living room to watch his favorite cartoon, Hyunjin appears from the top of the stairs and is dressed in a suit, he skips the tie tonight and keeps the top two buttons open.
"Are you ready to leave?" He asks his husband who's still busy in the kitchen.
Felix glances up to see Hyunjin descending the stairs, "Yeah. I just need to—"
"Oh, my God. Stop cleaning up," you scold him since he can't seem to relax without making sure his kitchen is clean and tidy.
Felix drops the cloth and washes his hands under the sink, "Yes, I'm ready," he replies to his husband.
Hyunjin and Felix take turns kissing Aster before leaving the house, you send them on their way out while carrying their son in your arms.
"Bye, baby," Felix throws an air kiss at Aster.
"Bye, bye, dada!" You make him say them to his dad and he follows suit, waving his small hand at him as he says it.
"Have a great night!" You shout at them before they get into the car.
There's not much left to do but play with Aster in the living room and at the first sign of him getting drowsy, you hurriedly run him a bath and prepare him for bed.
As he picks the storybook he wants you to read, you change his pillow covers per Felix's instruction, then you sit on the small sofa and have Aster sit on your lap to read the storybook together, he mostly looks at the pictures as you read it to him.
It doesn't take long until he drifts into sleep with his head resting on your chest, you cuddle him until he's deep in his slumber before putting him in his crib.
"Night, sweet Aster," you whisper and leave the door to his bedroom slightly ajar.
As a reward, you eat the sandwich Felix made and it's worth every bite of it, having it with a can of soda from the fridge. Finished with your second dinner, you take a tour around the house, looking at the photos hung on the walls.
One is of Aster when he was a baby along with his tiny footprints and then there's a picture of the three of them together on Aster's first birthday. On the biggest frame is Hyunjin and Felix's wedding photo, they're both wearing white suits but Hyunjin's is embroidered with a flower pattern while Felix has this lace tail on the back of his suit jacket. You've never seen a more beautiful couple than them and you believe they're what people call a match made in heaven.
Having nothing else to do, you curl up on the sofa and read a book you brought with you. The next thing you know, you wake up startled hearing someone entering the passcode to the house.
You scramble to get up and pick up the book falling off your lap, you check the time on your phone, it's a little after eleven so it must be them coming back from their date.
It's true, you can hear their laughs as they enter the house and their low chatter, you also catch them smooching through the reflection on the TV screen. You act like you're not seeing it and cover your face with the book, pretending to read.
When you hear their footsteps coming into the room, you slowly put down your book and smile, "Oh, you guys are back!"
"Oh, hey," Felix says, foolishly grinning with his cheeks flushed, looking like he's slightly drunk.
Hyunjin looks not that different, his cheeks red and he's all smiles when he places his hand on Felix's waist.
"I'll go check on Aster," he says with a soft smile.
You wait until Hyunjin leaves to ask something, "Hey, do you mind if I'm staying over? I'm so sleepy, I don't think I'll able to drive home—"
"Of course!" Felix hastily answers, then sits on the sofa next to you, "You know I don't feel good letting you drive at night."
"Oh, thank you," you sincerely say.
"Hey, since you're staying, why don't we have a glass of wine?"
It's a nice offer and you would love to accept it but you don't want to disturb their date night, it's better if you get yourself out of the scene as to not ruin it for them.
"I'd love to but I'm... I'm tired," you gently refuse with an apologetic smile.
He places his hand on your hand and squeezes it, "That's okay. You'd better rest then."
You smile at him and bring your book with you, "Goodnight."
"Night!" He says back.
Right before you enter the guest room, you see Hyunjin surprises Felix with a back hug and then he whispers something into his ear that makes him laugh, filling the space with his deep laughter.
Now you know that they're not drunk, they're just in love.
-
Sunday morning at the Hwang-Lee household consists of a hungry toddler and a cook who doubts his pancake souffle is fluffy enough. Then you enter the scene as a girl in search of her first intake of caffeine.
"Morning," you cheerily greet everyone, softly poking Aster's cheek as he chews on his mini pancakes.
"Morning!" Felix says back without looking up from the pan, "Coffee?"
"I'll get it myself," you say, getting yourself a cup from the cabinet and carefully pouring some hot coffee from the pot.
"How's your sleep?" He asks, serving you a delicious-looking pancake souffle, it jiggles as he pushes the plate across the kitchen island.
"I slept so well, thank you," you answer with a sleepy smile and start with a small sip of coffee, you can feel it rejuvenate you from the inside.
Felix anxiously watches as you eat the pancake, "Do you think it's fluffy enough?"
You take a moment to chew and swallow before answering, "I think it's perfect," you honestly answer, it tastes even better than the ones made in the pastry shop.
"More apple, please!" Aster cutely asks.
Felix rushes to slice the peeled apple for him and places them on his plate, "More apple for Aster," he cutely says, then kisses his head.
"Thank you, dada," Aster mumbles with his mouth full of food.
He then pulls the drawer open and takes something out, "Since you're here..."
He slides an envelope toward you and you reckon it's your pay, he insists on paying weekly because he knows you may need it for gas. One look at it and you know they put extra bills in there. They have always been so generous with the pay.
"Thank you," you say, accepting it with gratitude.
"Do you mind running some errands for me tomorrow?"
"No. I don't mind at all," you answer.
Felix comes up with a list of things to buy along with his credit card, handing it to you, "You can come late tomorrow."
"Consider it done," you assure him, putting the list and the credit card into the envelope.
"The last one is for you," he says, putting a gift card in front of you, "So you don't have any excuses to not spoil yourself."
As expected, he knows you so well. You're reluctant to spend money on such things when it can be used for more important things but Felix oftentimes reminds you that it's okay to spoil yourself once in a while.
You crack a laugh and put the gift card into the envelope, "I will. Thank you," you say.
Not only generous, they always come with extra something like this. Just last week, he bought you a new laptop bag and scented candles.
The sound of Mandu's barks only means that Hyunjin is back from walking him. He comes in panting and brushing his dark hair to the back, exposing a layer of sweat coating his forehead.
"Mandu almost fought someone's dog," Hyunjin shares as he's getting himself a glass of water to quench his thirst. You find it cute that he likes to rant to his husband like a little kid.
"It's a Rottweiler and it's like this big," Hyunjin continues, describing how big the dog Mandu almost picked a fight with. He then goes to sit on the stool next to his son and watches his ear.
"What do you have here, baby?" Hyunjin asks the little one with a gentle ruffle on his hair.
"Apple," he shortly answers, offering a slice to him.
Hyunjin takes it into his mouth even though it's slobbering with yogurt, "yum..." he hums in delight.
Felix joins in with them, sitting next to him, and intently watches as Hyunjin digs into the pancake souffle.
"I don't think it's fluffy enough," Felix sighs, taking his baking very seriously.
Hyunjin takes a second to thoroughly taste it and says, "No, it's perfect," he disagrees with him.
He then looks at you to convince him more, "It's perfect. Right?"
"I told him the exact same thing earlier," you respond, shoving a spoonful of it into your mouth.
"It is?" Felix doubtfully asks as he also digs into the pancake and takes a bite.
"It's perfect," Hyunjin reassures him with a peck on his lips.
When he pulls away from the kiss, he softly mutters, "You're perfect."
This is too early for this but you have accepted the fact that there'll be not a day where it doesn't feel like you're third wheeling when you're around them. You look away and quietly sip your cup of coffee.
"Hey, we're going to the aquarium today. Are you coming?" Hyunjin asks.
You look around to check if Hyunjin is really asking you, "oh that sounds fun but I have to drive my mom to her book club meeting," you explain.
They had a date night and now they're having a family day, and it's endearing that they invite you along but you can only say yes once in a while.
You gently pinch Aster's round cheek and say, "Maybe next time.
-
The next day, you come to their house with both hands carrying bags of groceries. Notices that you're struggling to carry them yourself, Felix comes to your aid, taking a few bags out of your hands.
"Sorry I made you do all this," Felix says as he puts the bags on the kitchen counter with loud thudding sounds.
"No, it's okay. It's not a big deal," you assure him, putting the last few bags onto the counter.
Since everything is all accounted for, you take out all the receipts along with his credit card and give them back to him.
"I hope I didn't miss anything," you say.
Felix doesn't even glance at the receipts, he puts them inside the drawer and slips the credit card back into his wallet.
"I guess Aster is napping?" You ask, sitting on the stool with a glass of water.
"Yes, he just went to nap," he answers, "Lunch?"
"I had lunch."
"I just baked some Madeleine. Do you want some?" He offers.
"With tea?" You ask with your eyebrow raised.
He brightly grins as if you read his mind, "Of course!"
After putting away a box of party supplies in the pantry, you join Felix on the back porch for some tea and Madeleine he baked. The sunny weather makes a perfect ambiance for tea time.
You find Felix scribbling something in his notebook, the one he uses to write down recipes or ideas for his next cooking videos. You grab a Madeleine once you sit on the chair next to him.
"So, I assume you'll film a cooking video soon?"
After having Aster, Felix decides to be a stay-at-home dad and film cooking videos for his food blog, he's still has a great following and plans on writing a cookbook.
"Yes, and it's not going to be an easy one," He says, hinting at something with his scrunched nose.
"Does it involve your 19-month-old son?" You guess, raising your eyebrow at him.
One of Felix's most popular cooking videos is one with Aster in it, you guess people like seeing them together even though it could get messy at some point.
"It wouldn't be the first time," you say since you had the experience of helping them film the previous one and it was messy.
"Will you help me?" Felix asks with hopeful eyes.
"Absolutely!"
It's not even about the money anymore. Helping them comes as a second nature to you. In fact, they feel like a family to you that there's nothing that you wouldn't do for them.
-
Aster can indeed be a handful but not the kind that you can't manage. He was only 13 months old when the previous video was filmed and he's older now, hopefully, he's better at understanding what and how things work.
Once he wakes up from his nap, you give him snacks, some fruits, and cheese slices while Felix is preparing ingredients in the kitchen and setting up the cameras.
Now that he's refreshed from the nap and full from the snacks, Aster gets in the right mood to film with Felix. He makes him stand on the chair next to him to start filming.
Your job is simple, make sure that the cameras are recording well and filming at the right angles, the rest will be edited by Felix.
"Today, Aster and I are making banana bread," Felix says to the camera.
It never ceases to amaze you how that deep voice belongs to him.
"What are we making, Aster?" He asks his little one.
"Banana bread!" He eloquently answers.
"That's right," Felix cheerful responds and briefly kisses his head.
Felix starts peeling the banana and handing it to Aster, telling him to break them into pieces. Aster follows the instructions well but instead of dumping them into the mixing bowl, he eats it.
"You just had your snack a while ago," Felix says while laughing and letting him have a piece for now.
He then hands him the next banana and watches him breaking it off again. As he's about to put it in his mouth, he looks at him and says, "Aster, into the bowl!"
Aster gives in and dumps the banana into the bowl. However, on the third banana, he caves in and thinks of eating it again. Felix quietly watches him, letting him decide whether he would follow the urge or be able to resist it.
Aster looks at Felix and grins, catching him off guard, he shoves the banana into his small mouth. You hold the urge to laugh out loud watching the whole thing behind the camera.
"Bubba, I think we need more bananas," Felix mutters at you.
You hurriedly pick a couple of bananas from the fruit bowl and hand it to him, no need to worry about getting filmed, Felix will edit you out later.
After smashing the bananas in the bowl, Felix shows Aster how to crack an egg and dumps it into the bowl. He fails on the first try, completely shatters the egg and it drops onto the table.
"We'll do it together, okay?" Felix patiently teaches him to properly crack the egg on the edge of the bowl and successfully puts it into the bowl this time.
"You know what it is, Aster?" He lifts a bowl of flour at him.
Aster looks at you to find the answer, you inaudibly mutter the answer to him.
"Foufou," he hesitantly mumbles his answer.
"Yes, flour," Felix exclaims, letting him dump the whole thing into the mixing bowl.
Aster accidentally pours it off the bowl and some of it spills onto the table, "Oh, no..." he sadly mutters.
"That's okay," Felix assures him, adding extra flour from the bag.
"Now, sugar," he says, making Aster do it again.
He shakes his head, probably afraid would spill it again, "No. Dada do it," he says.
"Dada knows Aster can do it," he encourages but you can tell that he tries not to intervene as Aster lifts the bowl of sugar.
Aster manages to put it in perfectly and Felix gasps in pride, "See? Dada knows you can do it!"
Aster grins in response to his dad's praise and watches as Felix mixes the whole thing with a whisk. He stops to switch turns with his son, letting him mix it as he pleases.
"There you go," Felix sweetly mutters.
It indeed gets very messy at the end of the filming but it's nothing compares to how heartwarming it is watching them baking together. Felix is so patient and gentle the whole time and Aster is smart for his age, precocious even.
As everyone waits for the banana bread out of the oven, you take Aster to the back porch and let Mandu out to play in the backyard. Together, you're watching the sunset and a flock of birds flying in between the burst of gold and orange in the sky.
"Do you see that, Aster?"
"Birdies!" Aster exclaims, tilting his head and looking mesmerized by what he's seeing.
"Yes. Birdies flying," you say.
Aster raises his hand in the air and waves it at the birds, "Bye, bye birdies!"
"Bye, bye birdies," you follow suit, also waving your hand high.
When you come back inside, you are greeted by the delicious smell of freshly baked banana bread. Despite the messy process, it turns out really well.
Felix takes a few pictures for the blog and slices it to have a taste at it, he hands you a slice on a plate. As for Aster, he breaks a piece, blowing on it before feeding it to him.
"Does it taste good?"
"Good," he answers even though he's still chewing.
Considering that it was made by a toddler, it tastes alright and probably tastes better than the one baked by an amateur at baking like you.
"Good job, Aster," you raise your hand at him for a high-five.
In the middle of dinner, Aster gets sleepy and you immediately take him upstairs. You don't even need to read him a storybook or rocking him in your arms, he must be tired that he's falling asleep while having his bottle of milk.
You come back downstairs and find Felix has done cleaning up in the kitchen.
"Hey, will you stay for a round of video games?" Felix asks, turning around from the counter as you arrive at the base of the stairs.
Since Hyunjin will be coming home late to do late-night news, you decide to stay a little longer with Felix even though you have zero ideas on how to play video games. He patiently guides you through it while also controlling his console in his hands.
In the third round, you finally get the hang of it but not good enough to beat Felix at it. You eventually give up and decide to watch him play on the side.
Felix takes a break from playing and grabs two cans of beer from the fridge, drinking it on the sofa together.
"Hey, can I ask you some personal questions?" He asks out of the blue.
Yes, you're working for him but you are comfortable enough with him to talk about personal things. You nod in answer, "Yes, sure."
Felix sips his beer first before coming up with the personal question he wanted to ask, "Are you seeing anyone?"
"No," you answer with a light head shake.
"May I know why?"
"I'm not looking for relationships at the moment," you shortly answer.
Finishing your college is your top priority now and as for everything else, you can always do it later once you graduate.
"Is it because you don't want to or...?"
"I think I've said it before that I'm focusing on graduating college first," you answer.
"But are you open to it?"
"I'm always open to it but not for now," you firmly answer.
"How about casual ones?"
"You mean... casual dating?"
"Why? You've done it, right? Sex?"
You shyly chuckle because you don't talk about such things with anyone, not even with your mom.
"Don't get shy with me. We're both grown up and Aster is asleep," he says with a soft laugh.
"Well, I've done it but... I don't know," you decide to leave it at that, deciding not to tell him in detail.
"Was it good? Bad? Average?"
"I don't have that many experiences to know for certain if it was good or bad," you honestly share and it surprises you that you don't find it awkward to tell him that. Maybe it's because you know he won't be judgmental about it.
Felix nods at your answer and he seems to need a moment to process it, "Are you open to experiment?"
"You make it sound like it's a chem class," you playfully respond to his question.
"Experimenting is what led me to meet Aster's dad," Felix remarks with a quick eyebrow raise.
You crack a laugh and finish your can of beer, "I don't know. I'm not that confident with myself."
"Nonsense!" He strongly disagrees.
"You're undeniably gorgeous," he genuinely compliments as he brushes your hair to the side, "and that says something coming from me."
You laugh again and put down your empty can on the table, "well, thank you!"
Felix shifts on his seat and turns his body to face you, "do you trust me?"
"I do," you answer without a beat and that tells him how much you trust him.
"Do you trust me enough to experiment with me?"
"With you?" You ask in confirmation.
"Yes."
"I don't know..." you doubtfully answer, "I don't want things to be awkward between us."
"It won't. Trust me," he convinces you.
There's nothing to lose here and it's just an experiment, not a real thing. It's more relieving to know that he initiates the idea and you can trust him on that.
"Who knows you have a thing for a dad of one?" He jokingly says.
"Okay," you say with a nervous laugh.
"Okay," he says, putting his hand on your shoulder and gently massaging it, "Now, relax."
Felix glides his hand up to the nape of your neck and continues massaging you there, his fingers softly scratching the back of your hair. It works to help you relax, your shoulders are no longer tense and your heart beats steadily.
"Now close your eyes," he speaks so low it's almost like a whisper.
You obey him without question and close your eyes, nothing happens until a moment later, you feel his lips against yours, soft meets soft, and together locked in a slow, sensuous kiss.
Felix skillfully pries your mouth open with his tongue and you willingly open it for him, letting him taste you more.
With the hand that stays on the nape of your neck, he can angle your head as he pleases, and that way he can deepen the kiss.
The quiet in the room only adds to the tension and you hold your breath, not wanting to change a thing about this moment, you want to keep it as long as you can and only let go when you start to feel faint from lack of oxygen in your lungs.
"And that's what a good kiss should be," he mutters.
Instead of feeling awkward, you feel funny and break into laughter, "Maybe I do have a thing for a dad of one," you joke back.
Hyunjin walks in on the two of you laughing on the sofa together and both of you immediately quiet down which gives the impression that he interrupted something.
"What's going on?" He asks, taking his suit jacket off and folding it neatly in his arm.
"Nothing," you shortly answer.
"I taught her how to kiss," Felix blurts out.
"Oh," Hyunjin says, but he doesn't seem as surprised as you think he would be, "Are you sure you taught her well?"
Hyunjin's unexpected reaction to it makes you wonder if he knows that it's true and he doesn't mind any of it. Or maybe you should feel relieved that he doesn't mind that his husband kissed the babysitter.
"Hey, why don't you stay over?" Felix suggests out of the blue.
The plan is to leave once Hyunjin is already home, you grab your phone and get up from the sofa, "Oh, no, I'll just—"
"You're staying over and I'm getting us drinks," Felix insists, pushing you to sit back down on the sofa.
"I'll help," you offer, getting the glasses from the cabinet while Felix is getting the liquor.
You return to the living room while clutching the glasses close to your chest, finding Hyunjin grabbing the knot of his tie and loosening it around the collar before pulling it hard, seamlessly taking it off at once.
"You don't know how to kiss, huh?" He says with a smirk, undoing the cuffs of his shirt before rolling the sleeves up to his elbows.
"I know how to kiss," you say with a dramatic eye roll.
Felix places a sealed bottle of liquor and a bowl of ice on the table along with a sealed bottle of liquor, "I showed her how a good kiss should be," he says.
Hyunjin sits on the sofa and grabs the bottle of liquor to uncap it, "Show it to me then."
You snort thinking that he's joking and Felix shifts the attention to the drinks, "Let's have some drinks first!"
Felix drops an ice cube into each glass while Hyunjin carefully pours the liquor to fill all three glasses without spilling a drop.
However, on the third round of drinks, Felix holds his hand out at you, "Come on!"
You glance up and look at him in confusion, "Huh?"
"Time to put it to practice," he says, holding his hand farther at you.
You awkwardly place your hand in his and let him help you get up from the sofa, he pulls you so hard that you bump into him.
Felix is quick enough to catch you with his arm around your waist, "do you trust me?"
"To do what?"
He dramatically rolls his eyes at you and asks you again, "Do you trust me?"
In a way that he has no intention to harm you mentally or physically and you feel safe enough to do almost anything then the answer is yes.
"Yes," you reply.
Felix nods as he takes your answer, he holds you close and puts his hand on your jaw, "Just follow my lead, okay?"
You don't know what he's going to do but you nod anyway, "Okay."
He leans in and kisses you, a little harder than the previous one. With the hand steadily holding your jaw, he can easily part your mouth open by pulling your chin down and that way, he can deepen the kiss.
One thing that you have to admit is that Felix is a good kisser, his kiss contains all sorts of things, it's hot and wet, gentle yet intense at times.
He has thing thing that he does with his tongue, he likes to twirl it around yours before tugging it between his teeth. The moment he lets go, you're running out of breath.
"Good, right?" Felix asks.
You innocently nod, "Yeah."
"Now, you do it to me," he says, asking you to practice it on him.
You take another moment to take a breath before leaning in and kissing him, doing exactly what he did to you earlier. It might not be perfect but you're trying your best to impress him.
As you're busy kissing him, Felix takes your hands and places them on him, one on his shoulder and the other on the back of his neck. He then puts his arms around you and pulls you closer until there's no inches of space left between your bodies.
Feeling left out, Hyunjin gets up from his seat and stands behind you. You're not aware of his presence until you feel his hot breath against your ear.
"Guys, let me in on the fun," he mutters, planting his mouth on your neck.
What in the world is this? This should only exist in your wild fantasies. You have to actively tell your brain that it's real and it's happening right now.
Felix breaks the kiss only for Hyunjin to take his turn, turning you the other way and pressing a ķiss on you. His lips are softer than you imagined, kissing him feels like you're kissing the clouds.
Felix's hands are making their way to the front of your blouse, undoing the buttons, and then taking it off you, exposing your upper half body to the cool night air.
As if Hyunjin kissing you isn't enough, Felix puts your hair to the side so he can place searing kisses on the nape of your neck and shoulders. He swiftly snaps your bra open with one hand then pulls the straps of your bra down your shoulders.
Aware that your breasts are freed from their confines, Hyunjin glides his mouth down to your neck while Felix is cupping them in his hands, fingers lightly rubbing on the blossoming buds.
"Oh, they're perfect..." Hyunjin sighs in awe, licking his already wet lips.
He slightly bends down to be able to put his mouth on your breast with Felix holding it up for him, you gulp air as you watch him using his tongue to play with your nipple.
A moan escapes your mouth as Felix pushes your breasts to the middle which allows Hyunjin to take them both in his greedy mouth at once.
After a while, Hyunjin helps himself by holding them up himself. Felix lets go of you to take off his sweater, he then takes your arm to drape it around his neck.
"You're so soft, bub," he whispers into your ear.
You can feel his warm skin against your back and the outline of his abs as your hand aimlessly groping around his body.
Hyunjin detaches his mouth off your breast and he reaches past your shoulder to kiss Felix, making you caught in between them.
This is the first time you don't mind third-wheeling them, you look at how their lips are locked in a passionate kiss and feel jealous of it.
"Come here, babe," Hyunjin says, pulling you in and making you a part of that kiss.
You get to the point that you can't tell whose lips are you kissing, it's one, endless kiss, soft on soft on soft.
Felix manages to take Hyunjin's shirt off and gets it out of the way, it's at a time like this that you feel the need to step out to understand the situation you're in.
They're different but beautiful at the same time, one offers different charms than the other but they're as attractive in your eyes. Your eyes are having a feast as you look at their sculpted bodies like looking at two Greek gods and it indeed feels a little unreal.
"Let's spice things up," Felix comes up with a wild idea and it involves pushing Hyunjin onto the sofa.
Unsure of what to do, you follow Felix's lead, sitting on the carpeted floor as he parts his legs open and Felix starts to unzip his fly open. He doesn't waste time pulling his erection of out its confine and lets it spring free.
They're maintaining eye contact as Felix pumps his length in his hand and then he turns to you, taking your hand and wrapping it around Hyunjin's cock.
Hyunjin's cock is all about the length but that doesn't mean the girth isn't impressive, the pink tip is as luscious as his full lips, making you want to have a lick at it.
As if he reads through your head, Felix asks, "Want to try and take it in your mouth?"
Not really wanting the whole thing in your mouth, mostly because you doubt you can take it well but since he offered, you nod in answer.
"Want me to show it how?" He offers again.
And you nod again.
Felix licks his lips before starting, slightly tilting his head down and then licking the tip until it's wet. He takes a couple of inches into his mouth, adjusting himself to the size to finally take more of Hyunjin's length, and the next thing you know, he takes all of him in his mouth.
You don't know how he does that with his small mouth and without gagging, you keep gulping your air as you're watching him.
On the other hand, Hyunjin softly scratches Felix's head and lowly mutters, "Just like that, baby."
Felix gasps when he pulls away, a string of saliva connected his lips with the tip of Hyunjin's cock.
"Want to go for it?" he asks, scooting to the back to make room for you.
You like how they do not pressure you to do anything you don't want to and it creates a safe space, making you feel comfortable enough to continue.
To begin, you take a deep breath and let it out. Then you follow what Felix has shown you, licking the tip just like you wanted to and then slowly, taking him into your mouth.
Felix observes from the back, he gathers your hair in his hands and makes a makeshift ponytail on the back of your head.
"Oh, you're taking me so well," Hyunjin coos, can't stop looking at how his cock slides in and out of your mouth.
When you deem you have adjusted yourself to his size, you dare yourself to take more only to have it hit on your uvula and you immediately pull back.
"Slowly, bub, slowly," Felix softly mutters to your ear.
You reorganize your breath and try again, taking it slow as Felix instructed, only taking it as far as you can.
"You can use your hand," Felix suggests, putting your hand on the base of Hyunjin's cock to compensate for the rest you can't take in your mouth.
You sync the movement of your mouth and you can hear Hyunjin lowly moaning in response to the stimulations.
"Like that, yes," Hyunjin sighs, throwing his head in back, completely overwhelmed by what you're doing to him.
Seeing that encourages you to keep going without forgetting to breathe and relax.
"Good girl," Felix praises with a sweet kiss on your shoulder.
He lets you have it for another moment before stopping you, he holds your shoulder and says, "Want to do it together?"
Unable to give a verbal answer, you nod in answer.
You and Felix, each take a side and then stick your tongue out to run it up and down Hyunjin's cock. At times, you both go in the same direction, your tongues twirled around his cock and alternating between sucking and licking.
Oh, to be Hyunjin and blessed with the view of you and Felix, both of your mouths lathering around his cock. He's truly enjoying it, he tangles his hands in your heads and gently tugging at it.
"Oh, so good, so fucking good..." Hyunjin breathlessly murmurs.
Eventually, both of your lips meet on the tip and Felix pulls you for a kiss, he holds you by the neck, smiling as he kisses you.
"You're a fast learner," he praises you.
You shyly smile and mutter, "Thank you!"
He brushes your hair to the side, also removing the hair stuck to your lips then tucks it behind your ear. He leans in to place kisses along your jaw and continues the trail to your lips.
Felix gets up from the floor to sit on the sofa, he looks at you and says, "Come sit on my lap!"
You do what he asked, sitting on his lap and slowly resting your back against his chest. Felix smiles as he wraps his arms around you, his hands caress your skin with so much gentleness. You take the initiative, tilting his head so you can kiss him as he touches you all over.
Another pair of hands join in, Hyunjin's long fingers tugging at the waistband of your jeans as he plans to take your jeans off. Once he pops the button open, he slowly pulls them down and you're shivering as his fingertips graze your skin.
You feel exposed as you're only wearing your plain white underwear and Hyunjin's head is between your legs, hanging not far from your heating core.
"Relax, bub," Felix coos as he glides his hand down until it lands on your clothed sex, his dainty finger skillfully finds your bundle of nerves through the fabric and circles on it.
You're squirming against him and can't hold yourself back from moaning as he applies just the right pressure on it, making you drenched down there.
Felix puts his hand to cup your sex and rubs his fingers in between your folds, "Let's take this off, mmh?"
Hyunjin volunteers to do it for you, grabbing the elastic band of your underwear and Felix makes you hold your legs up so he can easily take it off of you.
Even after the underwear is off, Felix steadily holds your legs by the back of your knees and then parts your legs open, making you feel more exposed than before.
Felix presses a haste kiss on your jaw and says, "Hyunjin will take good care of you now."
Your attention is shifted to the man kissing down your inner thigh, you're squirming as his mouth inches closer to your wetness and when it finally makes contact, you sharply gasp.
If it weren't for Felix's hands steadily keeping your legs open, you would have clamped Hyunjin's head in between. The sight of his red, plush lips on your cunt is enough to arouse you, but now he's using his tongue, running it up and down your slit. He teases your hole with his finger before replacing it with his tongue.
"Oh, fu—" You press your lips together to stop yourself from finishing your curse.
Felix lets go of your leg so he can put his hand in Hyunjin's hair and pushes his head deeper into your wetness while Hyunjin is intensely staring back at him.
"You're doing good, darling," he says to him.
Hyunjin smiles in response to his words, he draws back to take a breath and opens his mouth wider to take more of you.
"Touch yourself," Felix says, taking your hands in his and he makes you cup your own breasts in your hands, kneading them together with him.
"Feel so good, right?" He murmurs, his breath tickling your ear.
You're overwhelmed, your legs are spasming at how intense it gets and the knot inside you tightening, you feel like imploding. You've never experienced these feelings before until now and you don't know how to handle it.
Hyunjin retracts his mouth, showing his mouth and chin glistening wet with your essence. He lands a lick between your folds and slowly, inserts his finger into you.
"Oh..." you moan, gripping Felix's forearm so hard your nails dug into the flesh.
Hyunjin smirks as he stares up at you while pumping his finger in and out of you. A while later, he pulls it out only to add another digit and now two of his long, slim fingers are inside you.
"The way you're sucking my fingers in..." he sighs, planting his mouth on your clit to tease it with his tongue and suck on it.
As if that isn't enough for him, he curls his fingers and he touches you right on the spot that makes you loudly moan. You can tell that Felix is looking at the baby monitor to check on Aster which reminds you to keep yourself quiet. But it's so hard as Hyunjin incessantly sucking on your clit with his fingers repeatedly hitting on your spot.
When Hyunjin pulls away, you can finally breathe out and relax, far too relaxed that you feel weak on the legs. Felix has to move you like you were a rag doll, he's laying you down on the sofa and then he lays next to you.
"Are you okay, bub?" He asks you with a gentle caress on your cheek.
Other than can't feel your legs? You nod, "I'm okay."
Felix softly smiles and plants his lips on yours again, making you a little less conscious and less insecure with yourself. You allow yourself to do as you please, touching his body and boldly putting your hand in his pants. You pull his pants down just enough to let his cock spring free and put your hand around it, slowly stroking it.
"Fast learner," he murmurs against your lips.
You triumphantly smile in response, opening your mouth for him so he can deepen the kiss.
The sofa isn't big enough to fit three people and Hyunjin ends up hovering above you, placing kisses on your neck and chest.
Felix's hand parts your legs open and he doesn't waste time touching you there again, rubbing on your clit as he kisses you.
The second Felix breaks the kiss, Hyunjin takes his turn. He lowers his mouth on you, hastily kissing you on the lips and then on the skin under your ear.
"Want to be inside you," he whispers.
He cups your jaw and looks at you with a piercing gaze, "Can I?"
The first thing you do is look at Felix to seek his permission first. Instead of doing that, he asks the same thing to you.
"Will you let Hyunjin do it, bub?"
It's too late to back out now, isn't it? Honestly, you've been wondering what it feels like to have something beautiful like what they have and now, you get the chance to experience that.
You swallow air and nod, but you know they need the consent to be uttered verbally, "Yes."
Rather than going right into it, Hyunjin and Felix work together to place kisses all over you, you believe they're trying to make you relax and it works, you feel less nervous with every searing kiss they plant on your skin.
Felix puts your leg over his body, exposing your gushing hole to Hyunjin and he stares at it while stroking his cock in his hand, so hard and veiny, pulsating with so much desire.
"You're so wet, bub," Felix hums as he lightly caresses your inner thighs with his fingertips.
Getting impatient, Hyunjin rubs his length in between your folds, lubricating it with your arousal. Felix helps to smear it all over his length and gives it a few pumps.
"And you're so hard, my love," he says to Hyunjin which he immediately responds with a haste kiss on his lips.
"You have to wait for your turn," Hyunjin says, leaving another peck on his lips before shifting his attention back to you.
Hyunjin tenderly kisses your lips and holds your chin as he says, "I'm going in, yeah?"
With one hand resting on your abdomen, he aims his cock toward your entrance and slowly pushes it in. Felix props his elbow against the sofa to be able to see how Hyunjin's cock disappeared into you little by little.
Oh, he stretches you out and fills you in immediately, you look down and he's not fully in yet.
"Just a little bit more, bub," Felix mutters to you, placing soothing rubs on your inner thigh.
"So tight," Hyunjin says through his gritted teeth, also overwhelmed by being inside you.
Hyunjin pulls back to slowly push it back inside you deeper than before. The slightest of movement and you can feel his whole length inside you.
"Oh! Oh, my—" you muffle yourself by pressing your lips together.
"You take him so well, bub," Felix coos, removing the hair covering your face then kisses you.
Hyunjin gives it a moment to adjust to each other, he rubs your abdomen and places a tender kiss on your sternum, "You feel so good around me," He murmurs, his lips brushing your skin as he speaks.
Felix gives Hyunjin's hair a ruffle and pulls him for a kiss, then together they place kisses on each side of your face. He turns your head to the side and captures your lips in a kiss as Hyunjin starts moving.
He starts slow and keeps a steady pace, he maintains eye contact with you if he isn't looking down at the way his cock slips in and out of you.
"Do I feel good?" Hyunjin asks in a soft tone and a soft gaze.
"Uh-huh," you answer between your moans.
Hyunjin smiles and he remains steadily thrusting into you, but adding more intensity to it, the skin slapping sound grows louder and echoes in the living room.
Felix buries his mouth in your neck while his hand goes down south, giving you extra stimulation by playing with your clit.
"Please, please..." you beg.
"Please, what?" Hyunjin asks with a faint smirk on his face.
You don't know why you plead in the first place but it's getting so overwhelming, you don't know how you can take this much and your brain is still able to function.
"Please..." you pathetically plead again.
Hyunjin pauses for a second, he props his hands on each side of your waist to give him more leverage, and that way, he can add more depth and intensity to his thrust.
"You want to cum, mmh?"
You eagerly nod even though you're not sure if that's what you want but you know it's what you need.
"You hear the girl," Felix says, putting his hand on Hyunjin's shoulder, "Give it to her, babe."
Hyunjin feels encouraged, he doesn't even need it at all, he's been thrusting into you non-stop, taking you closer and closer to your release. He brushes his hair to the back and adds speed to his thrusting.
You don't know that you've been crying until you feel the tears rolling down your cheeks, your moaning and crying, sometimes it's a mix of the two, feeling so overwhelmed that your brain is short-circuit.
"My goodness, oh," your voice is shaking from how hard Hyunjin thrusts into you.
"Don't hold your breath," Felix speaks right into your ear, his teeth faintly nibbling on your ear.
But you keep holding your breath because if you don't, you feel like you're about to completely lose it and combust.
"Please, please," you plead again because it's the only word your brain can compute.
Hyunjin thrusts even faster and harder, your body quakes along to his movements. Felix holds your hand as if he knows you need something to hold on to.
"Oh, oh..." your moans turn into broken cries.
"You're close, mmh?" Hyunjin manages to say as he puts all of him to get you to your release.
Your eyes are screwed shut and more tears rolling down your cheeks, you feel hot all over even though your body is covered with a thin layer of sweat.
"I can't– can't take it anymore," you stutter your words as you choke on air from constantly moaning and crying.
"Just let go, bub, let go," Felix murmurs.
You let out a choked sob and follow his words, letting yourself go even if it means you're going to explode into a million little pieces.
Two, three thrusts later, you hit your climax and everything suddenly turns white. You feel faint but at the same time, you feel this wave of electricity surging through you.
You're completely out of it until a moment later, you open your eyes to find Hyunjin rushing to pull out of you. He then holds his cock in his hand, pumping it as fast as he could until the white of his seed spurts out of him.
"Oh, yeah, baby," he sighs while keeps pumping his cock.
Felix gasps in awe watching Hyunjin make white streaks all over your chest and stomach with his seed, glistening and feeling hot on your skin.
"Oh, look at that!" He looks at Hyunjin and says, "You cum a lot, honey."
Hyunjin stops pumping his cock once he deems he's done releasing his load. He tilts his head to the back and lets out a broken yet satisfied moan.
"Gosh! That was so fucking good," he says, placing a haste kiss on your parted mouth.
Felix uses his finger to take a swab of Hyunjin's cum and have a taste of it, he smiles as if he's just tasted something as sweet as honey. Guessing that you're curious about it too, he takes another swab at it and shoves it into your mouth.
"Isn't Hyunjin taste so sweet?" He asks.
You're too fucked out to respond and Felix notices it too, he lands a sweet kiss on your lips and jaw, then says, "It's okay, we'll take care of you."
You want to stay awake but you can barely keep your eyes open anymore, you're in and out of it for quite some time. You open your eyes and see Felix licking Hyunjin's cum off of you. You close your eyes and when you open them later, you find Hyunjin and Felix, both naked and kissing each other. The next time you open your eyes, you find Felix hovering above you while Hyunjin is thrusting into him from the back.
The last thing you remember is someone putting clothes on you and after that, it's all black.
-
This is embarrassing. You wake up in the guest room wearing Felix's sweater and short pants which means someone must have put those clothes on you and then carried you to the guest room so you can comfortably sleep on the bed.
What's more embarrassing is you'll meet them whether you like it or not because it's their house.
You get off the bed and find your pile of clothes on the chair, even more embarrassing that you have to meet them wearing their clothes.
This why they called it a walk of shame and you're stupid to ever think that it would never happen to you.
Out of the guest room, you head straight to the kitchen because it's easier to face one of them first and Felix is always in the kitchen.
Felix is mysteriously looking glowing and radiant like usual, it's like he didn't drink the same amount of alcohol to you or got in a threesome last night.
He turns around and immediately notices you coming, "Good morning, bub!"
Unlike him, you're aware that you must have looked swollen and terrifying so you cup your face with both hands.
"Morning," you croak.
He turns around again to grab a glass and fills it with orange juice, then serves it to you, "How are you feeling?"
You shyly chuckle and say, "Tired."
"Reasonable," Felix comments. He gasps as if he gets reminded of something, he pulls open the kitchen drawer and takes out something.
"You might want to take this," he says, putting a Morning After pill for you.
It's endearing that he pays more attention to such things than yourself. You rip it open with your fingers and waste no time to take it.
"Thank you," you mutter as you wash it down with orange juice.
"It's not time for Aster to have a sibling yet," Felix jokingly says.
It's actually nice that he treats you like any other normal day, you were really afraid that what happened last night would make things awkward between you and him but turns out, it was all in your head.
But you don't know for sure since you've only met Felix and—
"I heard Aster is getting a sibling?" Hyunjin says from the top of the stairs, all dressed for work and carrying Aster on his shoulders.
"Haha you guys are so funny," you say with dry laughs.
How is it fair that you're the only one looking like shit this morning?
"Airplane!" Aster shouts while patting Hyunjin's head with his tiny hands.
Hyunjin grabs his hands and stretches them out, swaying them left to right like an airplane. Aster is giggling as Hyunjin jumps onto the base of the stairs.
"Time for breakfast, sweet boy," Felix says, ordering Aster to sit in his baby chair.
Hyunjin tilts his head to look at his little one, "Time's up, little buddy."
Aster giggles and plants his mouth on Hyunjin's head to place a kiss, "Oh, thank you, sweetheart."
He then carefully takes him down from his shoulders and sits him in his baby chair.
"Aster's favorites for breakfast," Felix says as he serves his plate in front of him.
"Blueberries," Aster mumbles with drooĺ dribbling down the corner of his mouth.
"And yogurt," Felix adds, putting the small spoon on his plate.
"Thank you, dada," he mumbles with his hair tousled and his cheeks flushed.
"For you, scrambled egg and toast and bacon," Felix says, putting your plate of breakfast.
"Thank you," you mutter.
"And for my breakfast?" Hyunjin asks as he walks over to him and pulls him into a hug.
Felix smiles as he puts his arms around him and affectionately kisses him on the lips. He pulls away but Hyunjin presses another kiss on him, longer and lingering.
Them making you feel like you're third-wheeling again means things are alright and it's a relief to know that what happened last night doesn't change anything about them or worse, ruin what they have. You know you can't forgive yourself if what you did would ruin this very beautiful, precious thing of theirs.
"I can't stay for breakfast," Hyunjin says.
Felix stops him from turning away, he tugs at the collar of his shirt and fixes his tie for him, "Are we still on for a date night?"
"I should take a raincheck on that," Hyunjin answers, tilting his head upward as Felix tightens the knot of his tie.
"That's okay. We can do it next week," Felix says, now flattening the lapels of Hyunjin's suit jacket.
"Invite Bubba on our next date night," Hyunjin suggests a wild idea, flashing his sly smirk at you.
"And we'd get a sibling for Aster," he jokingly adds.
You roll your eyes at him and fill your mouth with food.
Once he's done, Felix lets him go and hands him his cup of coffee, "well, I want a baby girl," he also piles in on the joke.
"We can arrange that," Hyunjin says, smirking as he sips his coffee.
Can't say you agree to get Aster a sibling but you feel good knowing that your presence doesn't feel like a threat to them, if anything, they make you feel like you're a part of them.
"I have to go," Hyunjin says, taking another sip of his coffee before putting it down on the kitchen counter. He runs to get his briefcase and walks back to the kitchen to kiss his husband.
"Have a great day at work," Felix says after placing a peck on Hyunjin's lips.
Hyunjin sweetly kisses him on the cheek and whispers, "Love you."
Felix hugs him with such love and says back, "I love you."
Oh, they're disgustingly in love with each other, you can't decide if you get the urge to vomit from watching them or you're merely filled with so much jealousy.
Hyunjin walks up to Aster and plants a long kiss on the top of his head, "Daddy has to go to work, okay?"
Aster reaches for him and adorably places a kiss on Hyunjin's cheek, "Buhbye," he says while waving his hand at him.
"Be good, my sweet angel," he says for the last time with an endearing pat on the head.
As for you, he places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes it, "Have a great day, bub," he says.
"You too, Mr. Hwang," you shorty respond while chewing your food.
"It's Hyunjin," he says with a fed-up tone.
"You too, it's Hyunjin," you say with a sly grin.
Hyunjin ignores you and takes another look at Felix, staring at him with wistful eyes as if he's reluctant to go to work, and then waves bye at him.
A moment after Hyunjin leaves, Felix notices that Hyunjin left his car keys on the kitchen island.
"Honey, you're forgetting something," Felix shouts as Hyunjin hasn't gone out of the house.
You can hear his rushed footsteps and he returns to the kitchen, unexpectedly kissing Felix on the cheek.
"I'm going now," he says with a smile, thinking that the thing he forgot is kissing him bye.
"Honey!" Felix groans while laughing and you also burst out laughing from witnessing it.
"What?" Hyunjin asks in utter confusion.
Felix lifts the car keys and shows it to him, "You forgot your car keys."
"Oh?" He gasps with his mouth forming a perfect O shape, he innocently takes the keys out of Felix's hand and uses it as an excuse to kiss him again.
It's hard to not get jealous of them because you see, if there's one thing that makes you believe in love, it's them.
-
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