#I say no to sweeping the floor because I'm stressed

[glass-expanse]

What does the Bible say about being a reliable person? Because I am MAJORLY struggling with that right now. I don't even know where to start.

[voxslays]

WRAPPING PRESENTS

You were stressed. Pushed past your limit time and time again. Why? Charlie. You cared for her like a daughter, you truly did—but you needed a break. It was your fault, and you knew it. You had offered to handle all the holiday affairs so she could run the trust exercises stress-free…but now you were suffering with nowhere and nobody to turn to. You had been told to take a break by Charlie and Vaggie multiple times, but you couldn’t. Not now, when you’re so close to being done! ​​

So there you were, sitting quietly, running paperwork for the rest of the Christmas decor that would be arriving soon, bored out of your mind and stressing out. That was until you heard the subtle click of the lock opening, followed by the squeak of the door. You quickly looked up, expecting Charlie—only to be met with Lucifer. “Luci?” You ask softly, still holding the small red and gold pen in your hand. “Did you need something?”

Lucifer's gentle gaze falls upon you as he enters the room, his presence commanding attention as he approaches your desk. He sits down beside you, his beautifully tailored creamy white suit a stark contrast to the mundane paperwork you're handling. His gloved hand reaches out, gently taking the pen from yours and setting it aside. You look up at him, giving him your undivided attention. "You're overworking yourself again, darling.” Lucifer says in an almost sing-songy tone, his voice is gentle, almost concerned.

"Tell me truthfully—when was the last time you took a proper break? Let someone else handle things?" Lucifer grips your hands softly. “I don’t have time for a break.” You say sweetly, your right hand cupping his pale face, while the other sits folded in your lap. “And I’m almost done anyways.” Lucifer's golden eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles softly, leaning into your touch. He knows this argument all too well. "Almost done?" He echoes, his tone skeptical. "You've been saying that for weeks now." He sighs. “Well it’s true this time-!” Luci lets out a soft chuckle, reaching up to hold your hand against his cheek. "Oh golly…” He sighs.

“Listen to yourself. The only thing 'true' here is how badly you need someone to force you to rest." His expression softens further, becoming more tender. You stare at him silently, having no argument because you know deep down he’s right. You cross your arms and pout your upper lip. Seeing your pout, Lucifer can't help but smile wider, his golden eyes crinkling at the corners. He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before standing up and pulling you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you out of here before you burn yourself out completely."

“Luci!” You frown. His expression turns more serious, and he steps closer to you. "Don't 'Luci' me. I'm not letting you push yourself like this anymore." With a quick move, he sweeps your papers into a neat stack and slides them aside. He steps to the large curtained windows and opens them, letting light seep into the room. “I’m not letting you end up like me…” Lucifer mutters quietly, not loud enough for anyone but himself to hear.

“What did you say?” You ask softly, stepping closer. Lucifer's gaze drops to the floor, clearly ashamed of his seven year disappearance—his hands clasped behind his back as he stares out the window. "Oh uhm- nothing, darling. Just...nothing." He clears his throat, trying to shake off the melancholy that often settles over him. "Now, let's get you out of here." You follow him out of the hotel’s office, and into the main lobby. You squint, putting a hand to your eyebrows to dim the light…has it always been this bright in here? You follow Lucifer down the hall to the elevator and step inside. The ride up is silent, the tension so thick you could cut it with Vaggie’s spear.

Suddenly, the elevator stops, and the doors open. You follow Lucifer down another long hall to what you remember to be the large apple shaped tower from the outside of the building; his room. You step inside. The interior is golden, completely furnished with velvety red sofas, a large white kitchen with marble counters, and an intricate sunglow spiral staircase to the top floor. All around were intricate apples and wings, reminiscent of his days as an angel.

As you step inside, Lucifer closes the door behind you and leans against it, his red pupils watching you as you take in the lavish room. He unbuttons his white suit jacket, revealing the crisp white and red vest underneath. "Make yourself comfortable, apple pie." You sit down on one of the velvety sofas in the living room as Lucifer disappears from sight. You take another look around the golden, apple themed penthouse before Lucifer reappears carrying a small golden, woven basket full of what you assume to be the presents for the hotel residents.

From your quick glance, you see a bottle of champagne and a knitted sweater (with an intricate stitched apple design)—presumably for Husk and Charlie respectively. “What are those?” You ask him politely, though you probably already knew the answer. Lucifer sits down beside you on the velvet sofa, placing the golden basket between his knees. He looks down at the presents, his fingers gently sifting through the wrapping paper. "I think you know.” He smirks devilishly.

“And you want my help wrapping?” You fold your hands in your lap. "Perhaps..." His golden eyes gleam with amusement as he selects a small package and hands it to you. "Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to get you up here." The words come out with a hint of playfulness, but underlying them is a warmth that speaks of tender feelings. “Well either works, because I love wrapping presents!” You squeal excitedly as Lucifer hands you the champagne bottle. He chuckles, pleased by your enthusiasm. You carefully chose a golden sheet of wrapping paper, cutting it precisely before slowly wrapping and taping. Once the bottle is wrapped nicely, you put a big red bow and write ‘To: Husker’ on the bottle, before setting it aside. He selects the knitted sweater and begins to wrap it himself, his movements a little more clumsy compared to yours. He adds a small, slightly lopsided bow and writes 'To: Charlie' in elegant script before setting the present aside next to the champagne bottle.

The two of you repeat the process until there are no presents left, you look over to Lucifer, who is beaming with delight. Smiling brightly with delight, Lucifer leans back against the sofa cushion, stretching his arms across the back of the sofa. "Oh golly! Now that was productive.” You laugh softly at his overexcited tone. You never thought you’d see the literal devil happy over wrapping Christmas presents. Scratch that- You never thought you’d see the devil celebrating Christmas at all!

“I never thought I’d see the ‘prince of darkness’ so joyous over wrapping gifts.” You comment aloud. "Well, it's not every day I get to sit around and wrap presents with my...” He pauses, his golden eyes flickering with unspoken words. “Your…?” You motion for him to finish, but he quickly switches the topic before he can say too much. “I uhm- I like your skin- I mean- Oh golly! Look at the time!” Lucifer laughs awkwardly.

You let out a yawn, not realizing how tired you really were from the past few weeks of overworking yourself. “I should probably get some sleep.” You pause, leaning in and kissing him on his rosy-red cheek. “Goodnight.” You wave goodbye, before strolling out of his room sleepily. As soon as you're gone, Lucifer's expression turns soft and contemplative. He touches his cheek where you kissed him, a small, tender smile playing on his lips. Touché.

[ms-demeanor]

Okay but also putting the panic aside part of what is going on here is that I'm feeling stressed because I'm feeling helpless; I could be cleaning right now but I am at work so it's just a thing that's sitting there hovering over me and filling me with anxiety so ignoring the specifics of my weird timing and odd mess situation, here's the "So You're a Disaster Guide to Preparing Your Home for Guests"

Here are the things you should be able to offer your overnight guests:

A clean and comfortable place to sleep with clean sheets, pillows, and blankets.

A clean and sanitary bathroom with towels (and, optionally, toiletries)

Depending on the space you've got, a comfortable place to spend time outside of the area they will be sleeping in (this may also be your primary socializing or relaxing space)

Access to clean dishes and a source for (at the very least) water (and possibly snacks/drinks/meals depending on the length of the stay and your relationship to your guests).

Here's a quick guide to providing those things in the shortest amount of time possible based on order of importance.

Make sure that you've got clean bedclothes and towels for your guest; if you do not have these things immediately at hand your first priority is doing a load of laundry to get clean towels, sheets, and blankets for your guest [and wash bath mats if necessary].

Tidy the area they will be sleeping in by clearing away clutter. Your goal is to achieve an unobstructed sleeping surface (so if they're sleeping on a fold-out couch or a futon in a shared space make sure that it will require minimal effort to turn into a bed when they are ready to sleep; if they are sleeping on an air mattress move any furniture blocking the mattress out of the way and inflate the mattress then make the bed; if they are in a guest room make sure that anything stored on or near the bed is cleared away then make up the bed). Provide a space for your guest to put any travel bags and provide a place near their sleeping area for them to put their phone/medications/glass of water/etc. that they may need in the night. [This is where you stop and move on to the next area unless you have lots of time. If you have lots of time, completely sweep or vacuum the floor of your guest's space, dust the room, and ensure that there is a power strip or phone charger handy for your guest]

Make sure the bathroom they will be using is clean and functional (it's actually a tossup for me about whether you clean the bathroom or the sleeping area first; I'm less willing to clean a bathroom while guests are present than a sleeping area so I'd say bathroom first honestly). My recommendation for this is to do things in the following order (make sure the space is well ventilated): - Spray a cleaning solution in the tub or shower, focusing on any problem areas. - Let that sit while you spray the same cleaning solution in the sink. - Let that sit while you use a brush and your preferred toilet cleaning solution to scrub the toilet bowl. - Use a brush or sponge to scrub the shower/tub then rinse the shower/tub. - Use a brush or sponge to scrub the sink then rinse the sink. - Use a cloth with a cleaning solution or a cleaning wipe to clean the exterior of the toilet - Use a cloth to wipe down any surfaces like the countertop - Place fresh hand towels in the bathroom - Sweep and spot-mop the floor then empty the trashcan and spot clean the mirror tada clean bathroom [This is where you stop and move on to the next area unless you have lots of time; if you have lots of time do a full mop of the bathroom floor, clean the mirror, and dust any surfaces that need it]

Clean the kitchen in the following order: - Put away any clean dishes - Clear countertops of clutter - Wash any dirty dishes or load them into the dishwasher so that the sink is clear and rinse the sink - Use a cloth with a cleaning solution or cleaning wipes to wipe down countertops, dust appliances, and do a quick wipe-down of the range. - Place fresh hand towels in the kitchen - Sweep the floor and empty the trash [This is where you stop and move on to the next area unless you have lots of time, if you have lots of time mop the floor, do a deep clean of countertops, clean and sanitize the sink, check whether your refrigerator needs to be cleared of aging food or have any spills cleaned up, clean the kitchen range, and clean the oven door]

Prepare a living room for your guests in the following order: - Make sure there are clear seats available for at least every adult who will be in the household; pick up and put away crafts, toys, or projects that may be in the way of visitors. - Clear the surfaces of tables next to any seating options so that a seated person could easily set down a drink; consider placing coasters on each of these surfaces so they are handy if someone wants one. - Sweep or vacuum the floor as needed. [This is where you stop and move on unless you have lots of time; if you have lots of time consider vacuuming the creases of furniture, dusting shelves and surfaces in the room, and possibly cleaning the windows.]

My approach to this is basically "if you were picking someone up from the airport at midnight and bringing them back to your home, would they be able to get ready for bed and comfortably go to sleep right away?" which is why things are prioritized the way they are. Things would be different if I were cleaning in preparation for a party or if I were having people over for dinner, this is just the 'clean a house after you get off work and before you get in the car to go to LAX' list.

[idalynsskyrimdiaries]

Talking about Taliesin ✨️🗡

Now I haven't fully played out the new update for our favorite charming mer, I'm getting there (new PC has not arrived yet)! I just wanted to ramble a bit about him hehe

I love him! His voice is stellar, and he's very funny! Definitely enjoyed spamming clips of him to my equally as ecstatic (and thirsty) closest friend. Now, that being said...

Me and my friend are completely polarized in our approach to Taliesin. While they want to just shove a wedding ring on his finger, I just wanna fight him 😭

And then shove a wedding ring on his finger! 😃

Here are examples as to why I should have DB characters NOT based on myself:

[Keep in mind I do not have the direct quotes memorized. Bear with me 🙇‍♀️]

__________________

*First encounter near the Falkreath Talos shrine*

"Listen here, you little worm, I survived the Great War! I can survive a simple knife wound. I hope."

Me: *looking around* Oh, he's talking to you, right? *looks over at dead body* He's talking to you like that, right? Because I can't find the person who he just called a 'little worm' while he's bleeding out... Oh, he's talking to me? Really? Ah, I see. Time to finish the job. *pulls out mallet*

__________________

*After Taliesin rambles on about Haskill*

"I've said too much. I'll have to kill you now."

Me: *slowly looks over at the river nearby* The water over there looks so nice! Maybe we can take a dip for a little while! Oh, you can't swim? Ah, I see, I see. Nice to know. Nice to know...

__________________

*Made the mistake of asking him to rest in a freshly purchased Tundra Homestead*

"Is THIS where you live? When was the last time you cleaned this place?!"

Me: I LITERALLY JUST BOUGHT THIS HOUSE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!? We didn't even breathe in the air of this place yet, and you're saying it's dirty! If it's that bad, then be a good housewife and sweep the floor!

__________________

*Within foggy areas*

"Don't run too far ahead, I'd hate to lose you in this fog."

Me: *runs faster out of spite* I saw a bear!

__________________

*When Taliesin ran straight into my character without stopping during a crypt exploration*

"You're in MY personal space!"

Me: ... Listen here, Jaundiced Loki. What you are NOT going to do is gaslight me! You ran straight into me like a horse, and you're not small, so that H U R T! Stop shoving yourself into me! My back can take so much stress..! *realized how the last part sounded* Wait, no, not like that-

__________________

*Near the hot springs in Eastmarch*

"Can we please stop by the hot springs? My body aches from carrying your burdens."

Me: *has only given him a few potions to carry* ... You know what, yeah! You can take a nice little break, even take a nap! I'll definitely be by your side when you wake up! I am totally not going to be in Solitude drinking with cute mer who don't drive me insane!

__________________

I swear I love him, I truly do, I just want to fight him one good time to get it out of my system. I don't care if I get my ass handed to me. Just let me climb him like a tree so I can yell "TIMBER!" when he falls down

May make another post like this because there are more moments like this 🤣

[itjazzbicch]

Playing with Fire

Pairing: MK1!Kuai "Scorpion" Liang x Fem Reader 

First time writing for Kuai Liang so I hope I did well! 

Summary: While building the Shirai Ryu and also dealing with the Lin Kuei on their tail, the reader sees the frustrations that her lover, Kuai Liang, hides inside and offers a way to release those frustrations...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Sparring session, reader is said to have abilities like Kuai, rough sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it!)

Word Count: 1k 

Creating the Shirai Ryu and getting recruits was exhausting and time-consuming but was essential. Someone needed to protect Earth realm, and we gladly took that responsibility.

Bi Han has attempted to come after us more than once, failed to take us down, and somehow managed to slip away.

It was aggravating, but I always tried to look at the positives. Every day wasn't always stressful, and on a beautiful day, I wanted to go for a walk, wanting Kuai to join me, but I did not find him.

Since he was frustrated with his brother's betrayal, his role as grandmaster was tough; I felt I knew exactly where to find him once that thought crossed my mind.

Sure enough, I found him alone in the dojo, the room humid and dark. I was quiet while stepping in, looking to see him in the center of the room, groaning, flames rising from his forearms and fists, body glistening with sweat as the fire gave off the light around him.

"In the fighting mood today, Kuai?" Catching his attention, I knew he was here to release his pent-up anger and frustrations, offering him a friendly challenge as I took stance, no stranger to his flames, "Care to spar?"

At first, he only stared and panted as he debated, but he turned around, a serious look on his face as he took stance, but his tone kind:

"Show me your skills, Y/N."

"Gladly," I smirked, teleporting to him and going to sweep his feet, but he jumped to evade it, and as I made it to my feet, we exchanged a series of punches but dodged every single one we threw.

"Is it me, or are you slowing down?" I joked, but he wasn't kidding when he snatched my wrists, kicking out my feet so that I fell to the floor, keeping me pinned as he sat across me, having to stop himself.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Letting go of my wrists, he took a deep breath to apologize, "I haven't had the brightest thoughts today."

"It's okay," I breathed in, wild over his body above me, not afraid to stare and admit, "That was hot."

He shook his head and laughed at me, "Maybe I seemed slow because you were too fixed on something else."

"Just maybe," I smiled, meeting his gaze and smiling more as he smiled back, going to help me up:

"You need to focus. Even while sparring."

"It's okay," I hummed lustfully, holding the hand that went to pick me up, "I like the view I have right now."

"If you want me," Kneeled between my legs, he melted the ice we had been skating on for quite some time, "Just say so already."

"I do want you," I finally confessed, bold with my words, "If you're brave enough, I know just how to get all those pent-up emotions out of you."

In a flash, we were face to face, a quick exchange of glances before our lips smacked together, Kuai growling, "Is that brave enough for you?"

"It's a start," Rolling my tongue; we shared a groan as our anticipation began to disintegrate, grinding against him and feeling his bulge, hands feeling his body as they desired.

"Do you like playing with fire?" Taking a moment to breathe, our noses nuzzled, hips pinned together, his question a tease, but I was serious as I answered:

"Only yours. It's a delicious burn."

He was seeking confirmation with his question, realizing that as he wickedly started pulling at our clothes, his skin steaming as I helped, looking into my eyes as we were left in just our skin, ready to take things to a new level.

"Give me hell," I encouraged to show that I wasn't fragile, not so innocent either, "I've always liked it when you don't hold back."

Forehead to forehead, I could nearly see flames in his eyes, getting a rush from his whisper:

"Hope you can handle the burn that you find delicious."

That was only a preview of a new side of him, already getting me to moan at his cock, settling his tip inside, making me jolt with a hard thrust that bottomed me out.

"Oh, do I like that," I breathed shakily, sweating from the heat beaming off him as he retook my wrists, eyes shutting tight at his thrusts that had ungodly speed, just barely able to handle his thickness, "My god!"

"Too much already?" He teased, a stutter in his hips as I giggled through a moan:

"C'mon. I know your flames burn much stronger."

Next thing I knew, my knees were pinned to my shoulders, face coated in sweat as it grew more humid, his cock drilling into the pit of my stomach, trying to grip onto him as his hair fell to his shoulders, holding onto it, not bothering to hide my salacious, loud noise.

No words; he kept going with no hiccup in his pace, nose touching mine as I gripped him harder, jaw-dropping as I whined out:

"I'm so close, Kuai!"

"No one's stopping you," He mumbled, hollowly gasping as I pulled his head closer to kiss till my head dropped to the floor, the clench of my walls so tight around him and with being folded so firmly, the snap I felt made me ache, mewling out:

"Kuai-ngh!"

The wave of warm slick and my pulsating finally put a stutter in his speed, thrust becoming languid, freeing my legs that smacked the floor, numb and limp. We both were panting hard, drenched in sweat as he came to a stop, only focused on trying to breathe in this hot atmosphere till I whispered:

"Feel better?"

"I do," He breathed deeply, sweetly embracing me, "Please excuse me for being so rough."

"Ha!" I giggled, stroking his hair behind his ear and smiling, "Do you think I was lying when I said don't hold back?"

"Naughty, you are," He laughed back, holding me in his arms and offering, "Care to shower with me?"

"We sure need it," I nodded, kissing his cheek and tinkering, "Nothing like some cool water to settle the steam." 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome 

[pinkxlicious]

Yule Ball P.2

Part 1

*Doesn't follow timeline*

I was gonna make this mushy but I have a 3rd part planned and I need things to be angsty.

Words: 2.2k

'''

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, slightly offended and confused.

"Oh maybe its the fact that he's a player you have no idea what you're getting yourself into," He scoffed at her, "I'm actually surprised you haven't heard the stories about him, maybe you are really just a nobody."

"Oh that's really sweet, Malfloy. It's just a dance, and why do you care so much? Jealous?" She snapped, obviously irritated.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous, I couldn't care less about who you go with," He lied, digging his nails into his palm, trying to prevent himself from saying anything stupid. Unfortunately, Draco was one to give in to impulsive thoughts and he would blurt things out without thinking.

"Oh really? Then why are you pissed that I'm going with Blaise? I don't think its a big deal, but you're acting like it is,"

"How am I acting like its a big deal? I'm just trying to tell you how he is!" Draco shot back,

"Since when did you care? I don't understand why you're acting like you care when you obviously don't! What is your problem, can't you just let me live in peace and make my own decisions??"

"No, I won't. Not unless you tell Blaise that you're not going with him," He said angrily, cringing at his own words.

"Who do you think you are??" She said in disbelief, "Why would I just ditch my date just because you told me to! For all I know, you're just trying to sabotage me!"

"Why would I sabotage yo- oh nevermind," He mumbled,

"Exactly, for the past week or two that I've known you, you've been nothing but insufferable and rude! You're constantly trying to make my life harder than it already is. And you wonder why I won't take 'advice' from you," She got up and left, she was beyond pissed and somewhat in disbelief. Who does he think he is?? Telling her what to do. What a slut.

'''

Draco walked swiftly into the Slytherin common room, and angrily searched for his 'best friend' who he currently resented with much passion.

"Blaise," Draco said angrily and flatly, "how dare you, how fucking dare you."

Blaise already seemed to know what he was going on about.

"Look man, I know you're worked up but I have a reason-"

"No you don't!" Draco snapped angrily, "You know I like her, and you went out of your way to ask her out right? Why would you do that to me?!"

Blaise held up his hands in defense, the two seemed to be oblivious to the stares from their peers.

"Look, Draco c'mere man," Blaise guided Draco to the back of the common room with a shit eating grin. "Just hear me out on this."

"I'm not sure if I want to," Draco said lowly, following him reluctantly.

"Look I asked her out because I have a plan, a super brillant plan. I'm not gonna tell you the details because I know you're not gonna approve... But just wait, you're gonna swoop in at the right time and sweep her off her feet. Okay?" Blaise said proudly with a huge smile on his face.

"No, you have to tell me the details, Blaise. You and I both know I don't trust you enough to make decisions on your own-"

"No you just gotta rely on me this one time, you'll thank me I swear I won't mess this up. Plus, I've dealt with these situations before," Blaise smiled proudly at his words, hoping his best friend would take him up on his offer. He had a good feeling that this would go in his and Draco's favor.

"I... fine. If you screw this up I swear I'm gonna murder your entire family line. This is important to me, she is important to me," Draco warned, pointing a finger at him before sighing in exasperation. "You stress me out."

"I know,"

'''

A day before the Yule ball, Y/n and Draco were still scrubbing cauldrons. Professor Snape decided to prolong their punishment once again, but thankfully he was merciful enough to let them off for the dance the next day. But for now, the two were stuck scrubbing their arms off on the dirty floor of the potions class room.

Y/n seemed to be extremely stressed, scrubbing the life out of her cauldron while half zoned out. She hadn't even responded to Draco's sarcastic remark to her frantic movements.

"Y/n?" Draco questioned, looking at her again genuinely concerned. Her eyebrows were furrowed slightly as her scrubbing intensified. "Y/n."

"Huh?" She snapped out of her trance, blinking her eyes in confusion. "Sorry, what?"

"Are you okay? You're like, acting weird, weirder than normal,"

"Ha ha," She said sarcastically, "I'm fine, just- I dunno."

Draco raised his eyebrows, surprised she didn't have a well prepared answer for him... Like she always had.

"What is it?"

"Why would I tell you," She scoffed, "you'd make fun of me."

He rolled his eyes, "Just tell me I don't care."

She fell silent, contemplating on whether or not she should tell him. "Did you really mean what you said yesterday? That... Blaise would just play me?"

Draco looked up, surprised she was so nervous over something he said. "Um, I'm surprised you actually took my words to heart," He said sheepishly.

"Were you just trying to get through my skin or did you actually mean it?" She said, staring him down as he scowled.

"Both, but honestly... it really has been a while since he's seen anyone. I don't know," Draco shrugged, but genuinely, he truly had no clue. He knew Blaise would play any girl. But this was Y/n and Blaise had told Draco explicitly that he had a plan. And he had no idea what this plan was.

"Are you just saying that because he's your best friend? Or are you being serious, not like you'd actually tell me the truth anyways," She mumbled quietly, Draco looked at her.

"Look, I really don't know. Just… just don't worry about it," Draco wanted to punch himself, wanting to say more but he couldn't. "Why are you worried anyways?"

"It's really not a big deal honestly..." Y/n thought about it for a sec. "It's just a dance," She thought for a few moments before laughing. "It's just a dance it's not like he asked me to date him! I don't know why I was so worried."

She smiled to herself before continuing with her scrubbing. This time she was a lot more relaxed and gently scrubbed in more fluid motions.

"Uh- how are you and Pansy?" Y/n asked, trying to fill the silence. Draco cringed and almost gagged.

"I cancelled last minute, I'm going alone," Draco admitted, slightly embarrassed that he didn't have a date. "She was just so persistent."

Y/n laughed, "I think she's rather pleasant, but yes she can be a little persistant."

"Pleasant? Are we talking about the same girl?" Draco asked in disbelief, a faint smile of amusement painted across his face. She laughed, leaning her head back, silently enjoying their brief bonding time.

"She truly isn't horrible if you really talk to her! I was her potions partner last year. She was a bit insufferable at first I'll have to admit but through it all she's a very genuine person if you take the time to know her," She said, speaking fairly high of this supposedly persistant crazy girl. Draco shook his head and scoffed.

"Whatever you say..."

"No really!-"

"Okay, okay..." Draco cut her off, she smiled in satisfaction. Draco couldn't help but stare back at her with almost a smile, staring into her eyes. He just couldn't help himself but lean in just ever so slightly. She stared back, her lips parted gently as she got lost into his gaze. His gaze flickered to her lips for a second before he turned away, breaking the tension instantly. Her breath caught in her throat before she quickly returned back to scrubbing her cauldron.

"So uh..." Y/n trailed awkwardly, "Do you know what you're wearing tomorrow?"

Draco raised his brows and scoffed, "Why is that all you talk about?" she stared up at him, offended.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that's all you talk about, do you even have a personality outside of that?" Draco sneered, he wanted to shut himself up but after that moment of vulnerability he couldn't help himself.

"I- I was just curious, is that too much? I thought we were actually getting along, why are you acting up now?" She shot back, then she added softly, "Why do you ruin everything?"

Draco, looked at her with disbelief, "I ruin everything? Have you even taken a look at yourself? You can barely contain yourself."

"Now you're just projecting," She said angrily, “Look at yourself right now! You’re barely containing yourself as it is right now. And don’t you dare talk to me like that, you and I both know that I did absolutely nothing and I’m NOT taking your shit today.”

Cleared. Silence filled the room for a bit. Draco then cleared his throat.

“Uh, a tux… you?”

She smiled to herself softly, “I found this super cute pink dress when I was at hogsmeade. It’s gorgeous but not too over the top but not super basic. It’s got this lovely detail design and it’s beautiful,” She spoke enthusiastically, Draco looked at her with amusement.

“Did you only bring up the topic to rant about your dress?” He asked chuckling near the end of his sentence as she smiled sheepishly.

“Maybe…” She said, the two were bonding again. She liked it like this, she liked it a lot actually. Then suddenly a thought crossed her head. “Do you think Blaise likes me? Or…”

“Why are you bringing up Blaise?” Draco said a little flatly, but still curious and interested into what she had to say.

“Because you know him the best,” Draco shrugged and nodded in agreement. “He is rather dreamy I guess, sounds cliche and corny I know. But like he doesn’t act like a player.”

Draco held his tongue, fighting himself internally. Preventing himself from insulting his best friend out of jealously.

“Oh yeah?” He forced out, “How so.”

“He didn’t just ask me to go to the dance and never talk to me again. He talks to me everyday, and he’s really sweet actually. Does he normally do that to other girls?”

Draco’s breath hitched. Whatever Blaise’s plans were, he wasn’t enjoying it. But he trusted Blaise enough not to steal his girl.

“I mean no not normally,” Draco sort of huffed out, frustrated slightly. She examined his facial expression.

“Are you okay? You seem mad,” She asked cautiously, although they weren’t exactly on friendly terms, she wanted to care.

“Why do you care,” Draco said coldly, she seemed upset by his words.

“Why are you being so mean again, we were just bonding like not even five minutes ago,” She said perplexed by his mood swings.

“Bonding? You call that bonding?” He scoffed and laughed coldly, “All you did was talk about your stupid dress and hooking up with Blaise. And look, to lay it out for your small brain. Blaise is gonna break your heart, just because he treats you better than the other girls doesn’t make you special.”

She seems taken aback by this outburst, she seems confused, then hurt, then angry. Her brows furrowed and she looked him in the eye.

“I didn’t say I was special or different, I was just asking you if you thought I…”

“That you what?” Draco asked coldly,

“If I had a chance, okay?” She said quickly, peeking up at his expression.

“Why??” Draco asked with so much confusion.

“He seems like a genuine person, I don’t know…”

“Y/n I thought you were smart, I guess you’re actually insanely stupid. If you haven’t heard, Blaise is a big fat player who’s bored. So all I know is that he’s only asking you because he thinks you’re another pretty face to play with,” Draco said staring her down. “You’re no different than all the girls he’s ever been with.”

Her heart broke slightly at his words, “Look I don’t need you going so low when giving me the truth. And what if you’re wrong? Maybe he really likes me? You’re so impossible, you’re always just making things so hard.”

She kept her eyes down, taking in her embarrassment and and hurt from his cruel but possibly true words. She wanted him to be wrong so desperately.

“Don’t come crying to me when he shatters your heart in a million pieces because I won’t be there to listen to your dumb fucking rants. And your dress is probably hideous like every part of you.”

She got up and left without another word, she couldn’t let him get any satisfaction of her tears. Even though if he had saw them he would feel the exact opposite. Draco didn’t know why he said such cruel things to her. Especially this one, this one was much worse than all the others. And right now he wished he had just kept his mouth shut and listened.

[emmajh97-mumaji]

Ducky to Have You

Charlie discovers her Dad's rubber duck collection and is horrified; wholesomeness ensues.

Charlie hadn't been back to her dad's house in years... Ever since she started the Hotel project, she had simply been too busy to ever check on him. And... she was regretting it.

Charlie was aghast at the absolute STATE of this place. Rubber. ducks. EVERYWHERE. Piles and piles of the little rubber bird bois... in every drawer, on every surface, in every variety.

Charlie tip-toed around the hoard of billed buddies until she finally saw him-- Lucifer. Sitting at his work table... in the middle of painting the eyes on ANOTHER duck.

"Dad?!" Lucifer nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned to face her, "CHARLIE?!"

"Whpghdl- wh- whatare you doinghere?!" Lucifer stumbled on his words, arms flailing as panic flashed across his face. "To help you move into the new hotel?!" Charlie replied with exasperation, "Remember? We talked about it yesterday!" Lucifer could barely hear her over the sound of his internal screaming, "Haha-- rightrightright..." His eyes darted across the room, 'Nonononono how could I forget?! How could I let her see this-?! DAMNIT DEPRESSION...!'

Lucifer 'nochalantly' grabbed his cane and started backing away towards the door, "W-well I'll just go and start packing then--" But Charlie grabbed the end of the staff, "Dad!" Lucifer stopped, looking at her like a pet that had just been caught chewing on something they shouldn't. Charlie had been trying to think of a nicer way of putting it, but she couldn't-- "You've been LIVING like this?!!" "I- uh--" Lucifer pulled his cane away, "Like what?" he laughed nervously. Charlie deadpanned, "The ducks, dad."

"Haha? Whaaat?" Lucifer began sweeping a particularly large rubber duck under a rug, "Th-these?" Charlie frowned with complete seriousness, "Mom told me you make rubber ducks when you're stressed..." Lucifer's heart sank deeper into his stomach, "S-she did, did she?" Charlie's chest ached as she fully processed what was happening... she choked up, "If you've been having such a hard time, why didn't you say anything?!"

'Because of this exact thing happening...' Lucifer thought as he saw Charlie's face, 'A father isn't supposed to make his daughter worry like this...' He tried his best to hide his guilt with the usual bravado, "Oh Charlie, don't worry so much! I'm the KING of HELL! I don't have hard times! Haha--" Charlie wasn't having it, though. She crossed her arms, shooting him a serious look. Lucifer sighed, accepting defeat. He pulled the brim of his tophat over his face in shame, "I'm sorry..."

Charlie didn't fully understand how her dad's mind worked, but ever since their heart-to-heart before the Heaven meeting, she had a general idea of his inner struggles. She didn't know what to say at the moment, so... she put a hand on his shoulder, and smiled consolingly. Lucifer still felt awful, but he calmed down a bit... it didn't seem like Charlie was going to judge him harshly for this. The two came to a silent truce... and continued on to the matter at hand. Packing.

They proceeded to dig through the rubber ducky piles for Lucifer's belongings... "I know you like ducks, but..." Charlie finally spoke up as she fished out a sun hat, "Isn't this... a bit much...?" "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I just... It started because... Well, I wanted to make the perfect wittle ducky." Lucifer explained, taking the hat and putting it in a suitcase, "Something that would make you smile... something as special to you..." He smiled warmly at her, "...As you are to me." Charlie was genuinely touched, "Aww... dad..." For so long she had assumed he didn't care about her, but more and more she was realizing just how much he did.

Lucifer took the mood back down as he looked at the floor, dejected, "...but none of them were ever good enough." He squeaked one of the duckies anxiously, "I kept iterating, but no matter what I tried-- I..." He bit his lip, unable to admit those last words as he smacked the duck into the floor, "...anyway, eventually it just became a nervous habit." Charlie frowned, "Dad..." The two averted their gazes from each other, continuing to pick through the ducky hordes...

Then... Charlie saw something that made her smile. Along with the pair of shoes she was looking for, Charlie picks up one of the ducks. "Hey Dad..." "Yeah?" "You don't have to worry about making any more ducks for me." "Huh?" "You already made a perfect one." Lucifer was completely taken aback, tripping over a duck pile as he turned to face her, "I have? How? Where??!"

Charlie walked over to her father, took his hands... and deposited in them the rubber ducky. Oh. Lucifer remembers this one. The white color, the multiple wings, the little apple tophat... this particular rubber ducky had been crafted in his own image. It wasn't magical, it didn't spit fire, but... Charlie grinned at him so sweetly it made his heart melt, "This one is my favorite."

Lucifer's eyes welled up. Ever since Lilith left, he had been afraid. Afraid that he was a killjoy who would never recover from his fall. Afraid that he ruined everything he touched... including Charlie's life. Lucifer was an angel of creation, a powerful King of Hell-- he could and would give Charlie anything she ever wanted. But the only thing she wanted was the one thing he was afraid to give her... her dad.

Holding his rubber ducky doppelgänger close to his chest, Lucifer smiled... Charlie gasped in awe as, with a dramatic TAP of his cane, Lucifer sent out a wave of sorcerous magic-! All the remaining rubber ducks began to glow... before EXPLODING into a beautiful swirl of sparkling golden dust!! It was like a gorgeous fireworks display, giving the whole house a warm shimmer. It dissipated... leaving the house sparse and duck-less.

After getting over the spectacle, Charlie took a sharp breath-- "But Dad, all your work...!" Lucifer reassured her, "It's all right, Charlie..." He opened his hands... and returned to her his self-portrait ducky. Putting a hand on her shoulder, he smiled, "I don't need them, anymore."

From that point on, Charlie kept this little ducky of her father on her bedside table. And in Lucifer's room of the new-and-improved Hazbin Hotel-- he proudly displayed a rubber ducky replica of his beloved Charlie.

~ 💛🦆💛 ~

[keepswingin]

Changbin + weak

He's half distracted in the kitchen, one hand clutching a bowl, the other searching for a cereal with some sort of sugar, because to hell with diets when he's more stressed than he should be, fingers dragging across spines of sharp cardboard.

He avoids getting into Han's stash of frosted flakes if only to save his own skin, mutters at Chan's ridiculous amount of oats, and sighs at Hyunjin's unopened box of lucky charms. Chan would be the least likely to come after him, but he's sick of oats, so he reaches for Hyunjin's box and hopes that he won't notice until Changbin's in the clear, tugging the box free of the cabinet it awaits in. 

Only for the bowl to suddenly slip out of his left hand, smashing loudly against the floor. 

Changbin winces at the noise, closing his eyes with a loud exhale. It takes seconds for a door to open, for Chan's voice to call out, for the stumble of feet against the carpet, for hands to reach out and touch his shoulder in concern. He opens his eyes and swats at the hands, muttering curses as he glares down at the shards of glass below him.

"Yah, yah I'm fine," he grumbles when he catches Chan's concerned gaze, lucky charms still held tight against his chest. "It slipped," he contuines, attempting to take a step back only for Chan to stop him. "I'm sorry." 

"Hold on," Chan returns, squeezing at his shoulder to keep him still for a moment. Changbin grumbles some more as Chan disappears back down the hallway, before returning with a broom and dustpan, already taking on the responsibility of sweeping up the small shards. 

"Let me do it, it's my mess," Changbin says, reaching for the broom, only for Chan to sidestep him with a stubborn determination to help clean. Changbin yanks him away before he steps right onto a piece of glass, voice raising. "Careful, hyung!" He tries reaching for the broom again. "You're going to get hurt," he complains, carefully watching as the mess quickly grows smaller and smaller. 

It's gone in a matter of minutes, Chan dumping the full dustpan carefully into the trash bin before turning to face Changbin once more, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Changbin scowls, rolling his eyes. 

"I could've handled it," he mutters. "I'm not helpless, you know. Even if it's midnight." 

"I know," Chan shoots back, stepping closer. "I just like helping." 

One of his hands reaches up and swipes through his hair, ruffling it. Reminding him of simpler times; Changbin nearly smiles before he catches himself and pulls away instead, throwing insults. Chan smiles wide and reaches for him again, even as Changbin fights to avoid him.

He's not fast enough - he never is, when it comes to Chan. But Chan's always been that way, untouchable even though he'll be the first to insist that everyone else is better than him.

His fingers press hard against the skin of his arms, latching. Refusing to let go. Changbin meets his eyes, only for the kitchen around them to fade away, for the weight against his chest to become heavier than just a simple lucky charms box. 

Chan's mouth changes, drags from a smile into something sinister, eyes darkening. When Changbin tries to pull away, he finds that he's trapped, the walls around them closer, and Chan's fingers are painful with how tightly he holds onto him, nails pinching skin, pressing bloody crescents.

He tries to speak only to find that he can't, and the pressure on his chest increases, heavier, heavier, heavier. His body sags under the weight, Chan the only thing keeping him upright as everything else around him presses in.

He blinks. The feeling doesn't go away.

He's never felt so weak, he realizes, blinking faster in an attempt to keep himself here.

Why does he feel this way? Why is Chan...?

Chan is staring at him. Light flickers above them, and his mouth moves out of tune with the words he's saying. Changbin can barely understand him, can barely hear him over the rushing in his ears as his heart begins to pound faster, confused and worried and speechless. 

"You deserve this," he spits, the first thing Changbin can understand, the words thundering through his head. "Who are you, compared to all the rest?" A pause. One that lasts a moment too long, the room around him beginng to spin. "Look at him. Already gone." A scoff. Laughter. Chan's mouth moves, and then presses into a firm line. 

It's hard to breathe. 

He squeezes his eyes shut. 

And then everything around him silences, and he awakes with a loud gasp, pushing himself upright, pulling his body away from the warm arm that is curled protectively around his shoulders.

He's gasping for air, he still can't breathe, the world around him spins and spins some more. He doesn't recognize where he is, or who it is trying to get close to him, or the low voice trying to call his name, trying to get close to his ear. All he can feel is the weight against his chest, and the air that he can't reach, vision slowly fumbling into focus, one dull grey wall after another. 

"Hyung," the voice beside him tries again, slightly louder, though they don't dare to touch him, as he registers his position on the floor, the drip of water in the far corner. "Come back to us, hyung." 

Changbin blinks.

He knows that voice, though it's rough, and flooded with the remains of sleep. He focuses on slowing down his heartbeat, reaching a shaking hand up to clutch at the cloth resting over his chest, before turning and seeing no other than Seungmin beside him, eyes watching him far too carefully.

He sits on his knees on the floor beside him, close enough to reach for, but keeping his distance. When Changbin turns further, he catches sight of the cot he had been on, the sad look in Chan's eyes at he waits there, too injured to follow him down, his leg still as haphazardly wrapped as it had been before they had laid down to sleep. 

"Hyung," a different voice whispers from his left, and Changbin knows that voice too, when he meets the drowsy face of Jeongin sitting atop the other cot, Seungmin's coat draped over his shoulders, dried blood still sticking to the side of his hair. "Are you okay?" 

It returns to him with startling clarity, once he remembers where they are. What's happened, what's sure to come. The exuhastion that presses down on his shoulders, the pain that still presses at his chest, something out of place from what they had done to him hours ago -

"I'm okay," Changbin mutters, returning his gaze to the dirty floor he sits on.

He hears Seungmin shift from beside him, standing up to return to the cot that holds Jeongin, Chan exhaling softly as the springs creak when he tries to sit himself up.

"Come back, Bin," he whispers, voice twisted by the pain he tries to hide from an injury he should've never received. "You need sleep."

Changbin doesn't answer. How could he sleep, when he was the reason they were here? 

Because if he wasn't weak, maybe they wouldn't be here at all.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #401

I went to work today, but there was lots to do, and so I didn't get to take any yummy pictures for you. I'm sorry about that.

I did meet the new store manager today, though.

…

...I will do my best to suspend judgment for now. But... the impression he made on me, given his behavior and manner of speaking, was not favorable. I've heard a few other things from other people, too, which is definitely leaving me more than a little wary. He's from the south or southwestern United States, and the culture there is VERY different from the culture in the northeast where I live. I'm hoping he just maybe needs some time to adjust; surely moving is very stressful, and perhaps his head isn't on quite right at the moment. I guess we'll see.

That being said, the next time he tries to make strange, unfamiliar gestures at me to get me to do things as though I am a trained animal instead of a human being, I'm gonna fucken let him have it; I like this job, but I do not need it, and I refuse to be treated like some kind of object. It'd be one thing if he had invested time and energy into building mutual trust, understanding, and vocabulary with me. But when he walked in today to talk to Tr, he looked right through me as though I wasn't there. Didn't bother to introduce himself or even acknowledge my presence at all. And then he's gonna what? Expect me to respond to hand signals from across the room (which was apparently code for “sweep the floor in front of the pastry cabinet”) as though I'm a clicker-trained dog? Fucken forget it.

To be clear, I'm more than happy to sweep the floor. I'm kind and loyal, and if you treat me like a person, I'll do pretty much anything for you. But if you're gonna act like we've got that trust, vocabulary, and understanding when you don't even know my goddamn name, then you're barking up the wrong fucken tree, friendo. Something akin to actually taking the time to walk up to me and say, “Hey, I'm so-and-so, the new manager! Pleased to meet you! Your name's Lumine? Great! Hey, Lumine, would you please sweep the floor in front of the pastry cabinet? Thanks!” would have been nice, just sayin'.

The vehemence of my distaste is fueled by the knowledge that he apparently came in rolling his eyes at the manager and assistant manager of my department, both of whom are female. And he came in and acknowledged Ma (male, and beneath Ka and Tr in terms of leadership) while basically ignoring Tr and Ka. So there's that. I don't know how true it is; time will shed more light on this new person's behaviors. But it's safe to say that for now, I am feeling cautious and skeptical of this new person. I miss Jo already.

Well. I got home and then made myself a lunch...

After that, I had to switch to a new set of braces. The amount of progress I've made from the first set seems really pronounced; I'm on set number 11 now.

Here's the lower jaw; the one I'm holding in my hand is the newest set, and the one on the table is the initial set:

Here's the upper jaw; the one I'm holding in my hand is the newest set, and the one on the table is the initial set:

Finally, here is one that compares the position of my snaggletooth; the new set is the top one. It's a lot less of a snaggletooth now!!!

...This one seems to be REALLY emphasizing the movement of my snaggletooth and the tooth on the bottom that's sticking out weirdly. Putting these ones in, the consensus of the inside of my face, as informed to me by my teeth, is, “GAH!!! Fuck!!!”

But that's okay. The price for progress is often discomfort. It is the way of things. It's how it goes. In a few years' time, I'll be able to smile properly at you. It'll be good.

...And then after that, I worked some more on my crafty project that I'm still not gonna say anything about just yet. It's coming along well, but just this one thing is taking a lot of time to do, and I need to make a whole lot more of them. So far, I'm enjoying the process, though; there's something very zen about it. I'll show it to you when it's done!

Then I took a short break to look at the link Su sent me after he returned home from my house yesterday. I found a couple state jobs that might suit me. But I'm having trouble parsing the language of the minimum qualifications. I'm well aware that in my country, much of a job offer description is not meant to be taken literally, and that is a bit of a nightmare for an autistic person such as myself. Su will visit on Saturday, after my shift at work ends, but before we go to visit R at his house, to help me.

An from work is hopefully coming with me and J to R's house, too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean... unless he changes his mind of course. He can always change his mind. And if he doesn't have the time or energy to support joining us, then I hope he will do what is right for his own peace of mind.

…

...I am well aware that I am disproportionately excited about Saturday. I am well aware that I am likely not especially interesting to An. I am aware that I am just someone he only barely knows. I know that. I do. He is very busy all the time; I imagine I'm probably bothering him by talking to him way too much. I'm well aware that I am not entitled to his time, energy, or interaction. I know these things. I do. He is just an acquaintance – a full human being, whom I do not yet know. It is presumptuous of me to feel safe in his presence. I have no business being this excited about it.

...what is wrong with me. sigh.

I guess... I guess I'll get my bed things ready – move my CPAP from J's room to M's room. Wash it out. And then... maybe after that, I'll continue working on my weird crafty project. Maybe I'll put it on Twitch if anyone wants to hang out. If I do, you'll find me here:

I'll stop writing for now.

I love you a whole lot, and I'm eager for the next time I get to see you again, even if it'll probably be a couple years from now. Please... please, when the time comes... please stay safe. Don't get killed opposing the wrong people. Please remember that your real enemy is Jenova and Shinra – those who would seek to use and exploit you and the planet you're living on. The people of your planet know nothing about the things you struggled with; if you told them, I'm sure that lots of them would welcome you and try to heal you and help you feel like you belong. Please try it. Please use your voice instead of your fists.

People are not bad. But what they do with their unresolved trauma often is. What they do when they do not know how to communicate their needs effectively often is. Please try to make that distinction. Please try to remember that you're a people, too. Please remember that you're worth love and belonging. Please.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[fiapartridge]

if they ever get into a fight before bed/wills giving daisy to silent treatment, she’ll crawl into his arms anyways because she needs his comfort to sleep, and he can’t stay mad at her for much longer when she does this

Will scoffed, standing across from Daisy in the living room of their downtown apartment in San Jose. "What, do you think I like being away from you?"

"All I'm saying is that it's hard!" Daisy shouted, her voice cracking, threatening to break down on her. "I know it's your job, I know it's your life, I know I signed up for this," she sniffled, trying to hold back the tears for just a little bit longer. She walked closer to Will. "But I can't pretend like it doesn't affect me."

"I just," Will's hands flew to his hips, looking everywhere but Daisy. "I don't know what you want me to do, Daisy. It's my job."

Daisy held her lip, thinking of anything and everything that could fix this. She hated feeling alone when he was on roadies, and sure, they facetimed every night and they texted 24/7, but they've been doing long distance for three years. She thought that maybe things would get better when they were together, but Will was always at practice, or on the road, or out with the boys. It's not like he neglected their relationship, he was very attentive, but it was hard not wanting to be with him every moment of the day after all of the years they had spent apart.

"I don't know. I just," Daisy rested her hands atop her head, something she did when she was stressed. Will didn't want to fight. Right when he saw her tears, he wanted to sweep her up and kiss them all gone, but they needed to have this conversation because how else were they supposed to grow? "I don't know," she shook her head.

Will exhaled, frustration lacing his tone. "Talk to me when you do know," he said, walking down the hall and into their bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Daisy waited an hour. She waited for him to come back out, to tell her that he's not angry anymore, that they'll figure things out, that he understands where she's coming from. But as time flew by, she realized he wasn't coming out. Maybe he went to bed?

As smart as Daisy was, she never really understood why people couldn't understand her. She didn't really say why she was angry, there was barely any explanation, but she still felt like Will should've known. I mean, they've been together for years.

How could he not understand what she wasn't directly telling him?

Oh.

She wanted to explain it to Will, she wanted them to go back to being happy again, but she just couldn't find the words. She didn't know how to explain exactly what she was feeling, and it frustrated her. How is she supposed to be in a successful relationship if she could barely communicate? How long would it take before Will got tired of it? Of her?

She cleaned the kitchen, she mopped the floors, she cleaned the bathroom. She loved cleaning. It took her mind off things, but at the same time, it helped her think.

It was midnight when she felt her eyelids start to fall and her body grow heavy. As she made her way to the door to their bedroom, she remembered that Will was mad. Did he even want her in the bed with him? In the same room as him? Maybe he wanted her to take the couch?

Daisy and Will had fought before, but it was always solved before bed. This was new territory for her, but it was also new territory for Will. For as long as he was in that room, he couldn't go to sleep. He couldn't sleep without Daisy. That was another thing he hated about being away from her. It was always harder to fall asleep without her body in his arms and her legs intertwined with his.

He stayed up. He waited for Daisy. Daisy waited for Will. They waited for each other.

When Daisy creeped the door open, her eyes peered towards the bed, seeing Will on his phone. He tried his hardest not to meet her gaze. He was still mad. Why didn't she just tell him what was going on? Did she not trust him or something?

When Daisy walked over to the dresser, picking out her pajamas from her drawers, she wished he would just spare a glance at her or say something. She hated this.

Instead of changing in their bedroom, she slipped into the bathroom. Will felt his heart tug at him when he watched her leave and come back in her pajamas. She didn't feel comfortable enough to change in there with him?

When she crawled into bed after brushing her teeth and washing her face, she laid on her side and pulled the covers under her chin. Her back was facing Will's and she turned off her lamp, prompting Will to turn his off too, but none of them were sleeping. They couldn't.

They were inches apart, yet felt so far away.

After a couple minutes, Daisy just couldn't stand it anymore. Turning around, she scooted closer to Will, throwing his arms over her and crawling into his embrace. Instinctively, he pulled her closer, taking in her flowery scent and placing a delicate kiss to her forehead. He hated being mad at her. It was one of the hardest things to do.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his chest. "I just," she paused, thinking about her next choice of words, but then she remembered, she's with Will. All he wants to know is what she's thinking. There was never a reason to be nervous with him, especially when he's holding her in his arms. "I always feel so alone when you're not home."

When she was met with silence, she decided to continue.

"We've spent three years away from each other and when we finally get to be together again, we're constantly apart. I know it's your job and you can't change anything, but I just- I need you to know that it's hard."

Will's heart was racing, he hated that he couldn't notice that it was hurting Daisy just as much as it was hurting him. Every night that they were away, she was the only thing he could think about.

"Thank you for telling me," he whispered back. He knew it was hard for her to explain what she was thinking. She was just always thinking about something and when things got jumbled up, she would freeze up. He was happy that she did that for him because he would do anything for her. "I wish I noticed. I'm so sorry."

Daisy shook her head. "I didn't tell you, I- I should've told you how I was feeling rather than assuming you would understand."

"I should've understood," Will's hands floated to her hips, pulling her on top of him. Daisy leaned over, turning on the lamp and seeing the face she missed for the past couple of hours. "I know you like the back of my hand, baby. I should've known."

"It's okay," she softly smiled. "We'll figure this out."

"Tomorrow," Will smirked. "I just want to hold you for tonight."

Turning off the lamp and slipping beside him, Daisy cuddled into his arms as they fell asleep, saving the rest for tomorrow.

[mbrainspaz]

me: I just keep crying so much I'm giving myself migraines.

gran: why?

me: It's the horrible stories coming out of Gaza. I saw the bodies of a bunch of children crushed by rubble over the weekend, and then yesterday a man I've known about since his granddaughter was killed last year was killed in a bombing in one of the refugee camps.

gran: I just wish you would stop paying attention to all that.

--

I don't even have it in me to type out the rest of the conversation verbatim. I should know better than to try to wring an ounce of empathy or compassion out of anyone in my family. I could tear out my bleeding heart and drop it on the table just for them to make a disgusted face, sweep it onto the floor, and ask me how my dogs are doing. "They're sleeping on the bed, also a man I felt a human connection with was murdered yesterday and I saw photos of his blood-covered face."

When I begged her to just say one godsdamn supportive thing to me, she went on a weird tangent about how

"It's like when your brother was dating that black woman. I didn't support that—"

me: Because you're racist.

gran: —but then I realized it was just a me problem, so I kept my opinions to myself.

--- WHAT?

At one point she even had the gall to tell me that I shouldn't go out to gay bars in case they get shot up. When I (reasonably) responded that I wasn't going to stop living my life or cave to terrorism, she was all 'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.' What did you fucking mean then. You meant nothing. You never stood for anything.

Eventually it devolved into her making a bunch of excuses about how the 'Gaza terrorists started it by murdering people in their homes' and every time I tried to explain any of the dozens of reasons that's not a remotely reasonable point to use to excuse an ongoing genocide that's killed over 200,000 people she'd yell over me that "THAT'S YOUR FACTS, and I have my facts."

me: Gran, you don't have any facts, that's why I'm trying to explain things to you. You've said over and over again that you don't pay attention to the news about this.

gran: that stuff you're watching is all generated.

me: The stuff I watch is mostly filmed by people on the streets of gaza with their phones. They don't have film studios.

gran: well that bomb footage you posted yesterday was faked. They didn't use a nuke.

me: It wasn't a nuke, but it was real footage of a bomb that Israel dropped on Syria.

gran: Whatever—I know what I know and you know what you know. I just wish you wouldn't go out carrying signs and protesting over this. I wish you just wouldn't get involved, because you can't change anything.

me: If this were almost 100 years ago and we lived in Germany would you tell me that? Would you tell me 'stop worrying about those people being rounded up and shipped to camps. You can't do anything about that. There's no point in fighting back.'

--

I already know the answer to that, of course. I've been living it.

And then she started crying about how she's too stressed to be 'arguing' with me because my grandpa has been going berserk getting roped into scams and he's been driving her crazy by taking out loans and gambling. I tried to point out that I have done everything I can to support her there. So have her kids. We've been there for her as much as she'll let us be.

"I don't want your support, I want to be able to handle this."

Can I get a fuckin' 'WHOOP THERE IT IS'. It was always fucking boomer brain. 'Cause what even is a family supposed to BE with these people? That's what I've been asking myself ever since the first time they disowned me. I don't fucking want a family that exists to struggle and suffer in stoic isolation while we ask each other how the dogs are doing.

But that's all I've got.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ OXVENTURE PRESENTS: DEADLANDS / ch4 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'they've got the power to kick a man apart, i heard.'

'have you thought about maybe trying to befriend a little one first?'

'so powerful. those thighs.'

'straight to the gates of hell!'

'i mean, that is the colour of horses eyes.'

'i feel just peachy, ma'am.'

'it was said that she was a serial killer.'

'it was said that she favoured poison.'

'the coward's way. i see.'

'she had a series of jobs and people kept dying in mysterious circumstances.'

'she's wanted for killing forty people.'

'i'm sorry i can't be of more help.'

'i'll be exclusively drinking alcohol to counteract the effects of any poison.'

'i'll just have two fingers of whiskey to settle my stomach.'

'every time i see a horse i avert my eyes just in case it steals my soul.'

'what's with all those boarded-up houses?'

'people've been disappearing as well; it's the strangest thing.'

'best we can do for them is nail them up in their homes.'

'there's no kind of a life for a lot of people here.'

'they say they can cure the incurable up at this place.'

'this wouldn't happen to coincide with the plague, would it?'

'i try and stay indoors at night because of what they say.'

'sounds like you've got a problem on your hands.'

'screw your job, idiot!'

'now i'm gonna have to sweep my own damn floor.'

'heard about that, did ya?'

'some of these folks... they vanish, never come back.'

'i tried draining blood. i tried putting in different blood. i tried tinctures. i tried a syrup made from opium and cocaine.'

'seems there's one medicine for the likes of us and one medicine for the likes of them.'

'it's a real shame what's happened to this town. it used to be a nice place to live, and now it's all horror.'

'that kid drinks too much whiskey.'

'i've got a new plan: we go up. we say we've got money.'

'it's the only haunted-ass building in the place, but okay.'

'he looks like a partially inflated balloon.'

'i just have it in case anyone needs it.'

'we do not speak of this to anyone.'

'there's some sort of fancy mechanical thing going on here.'

'i'm so ill i can't remember my name!'

'did you see my fancy shoes?'

'did i tell you how wealthy i am?'

'this feels like hospital propaganda.'

'do you have any cocaine?'

'perhaps some cocaine would make you feel better?'

'well, it was exhausting being fancy anyway.'

'nothing in life is free.'

'you're the weird guy!'

'everyone thinks you're super weird.'

'there's something very odd about his face.'

'it's very loud and very close.'

'i can't believe i touched that with my fist.'

'that was lucky. i could have contracted a chronic disease there.'

'my powerful immune system took care of that one.'

'there's no telling some people.'

'i don't like it! it's stressing me out.'

'he's not a good doctor he's a bad doctor! a very bad doctor!'

'you know, i don't even think he's a real doctor.'

'i think my only option really is to keep shooting at this guy.'

'where the hell were you hiding that?!'

'there's blood everywhere. pouring out of him.'

'bet you'd rather be next to a horse right now.'

'we're in!'

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

When I was in middle school, my parents would often ridicule people who drive their kids to school. Something about the fact that our town is small and they can walk - my mom, for one, would walk for an hour to get to school from a neighboring village in the hills. You know, the whole "walking uphills both ways in the snow" thing but less joke-ified. Why do I mention this?

Because I lived five minutes from school and if I took a three minute longer route to walk with my friends a bit longer to talk my mom would freak the fuck out and I'd get an earful when I got home - God FORBID I actually walked my friends all the way to their house.

(You can ignore the rest, it's just me putting thoughts to paper so to speak, as a form of stress relief.)

This and lots of other shit was a mainstay in my parents' behaviour, so when I, in their eyes, got to the age where they can trust me with being out and about, it came as a shock to them that all I really cared about was staying indoors, playing my games and reading my books. Then when they assisted me in being antisocial (not like it was only their fault, it was also the bullying and the fact I always took myself a bit too seriously which chafed with the excitable and hyperactive kids around me) they went about convincing me I'm a lazy piece of shit. I remember the days I was overjoyed to just do shit. I didn't mind doing chores, in fact I even liked doing some of the more interesting ones. I would grumble if I had to do chores when I was reading or something but I always did it. I'd never go like "No, I won't do it" or anything. I would, however, not use up a whole lot of my brain power THINKING about chores (because, god, why would I?) so I'd usually forget to do some of them and stuff, which got me labeled as a lazy freak. And, well, sure enough, at this point if I can manage to wash the dishes or sweep the floor or, fuck, even get out of bed, I'm pretty proud of myself (for a given value of "proud"). My parents basically made their already overly serious kid a moody shut-in and yelled him down when he said he was scared he might have depression. Well, lo and behold, that depression is making me fail college, but I have to pretend it isn't there since nothing good will come of it.

My parents really wanted a lot of things for me and in being as demanding as they were they turned me into this fucking slob, this fucking creature, who can't even be bothered to get up and eat something at times. Someone who indulges in his vices to forget his bleak reality and only prides himself on the fact that those vices aren't any of the usual stuff like smoking, alcohol or drugs. I used to love food and now it's mostly just a means to not get that annoying feeling in my stomach. Hell even snacks are mostly just something to keep my hands and mouth occupied. I've even stopped being scared of my future, because I've concluded it's going to be shit either way. If I'm gonna have a job, it's gonna be miserable. If I DON'T get a job I'll be a different kind of miserable - that is to say, homeless, but what the fuck do I care? I'm gonna feel shit about myself either way. At this point I could perform some great feat and the only thing I'd think to myself is that the attention is annoying. I wouldn't be happy because for even the best achievements in my life the only response I got was either cold indifference or something that amounts to "Couldn't you have done it the first time/sooner/better?" A noncommital "That's nice" is the most I could hope for. When I cried I got told in all ways you can think of to stop - and, look, I haven't cried for years now, not even during funerals. When I complained I was ignored and when something happened the consequences were only worse if I said someone else was responsible, even if they were. I can think of ONE time in my whole life where my parents were on my side and I felt loved. It made all the rest of it only more bitter.

Online stuff is like going out for me. Helps me forget and set aside my issues. It's almost easier to not be ME when I'm on the internet.

So yeah. Beyond all the things the other people said, Gen Z is notoriously mentally unwell - one in three people aged 18-24 report having a common mental health issue such as anxiety or depression and it's my personal opinion that the number would be fucking higher if parents didn't make a taboo of it, like having these problems is forbidden. My generation is depressed and anxious as fuck and our parents regularly disregard, even dismiss these things as fake, or not real issues. Not to even mention other shit like ADHD and autism that're even worse not only in effect but how people are treated by others for it.

Sometimes I think everything in my life has gone as bad as it could have considering the circumstances I was born into and I should be sad for it. Sometimes I think I should be happy for even having this much. I don't feel either. I just feel disappointed - in myself, and in knowing I'll never change. That I'm too stuck to even want to get myself unstuck, and that I'm too much of a coward to end it all or to even visit a psychiatrist. I felt like my heart was gonna pop just asking my general doctor for a recommendation to visit a psychiatrist and that was after tricking myself into doing it. At this point I'm just waiting for it all to crumble around me so I can get this done with. About a month or two now. Just another month or two. Then we'll see.

Maybe this is the wrong platform to pose this question given the average tumblr user but

Is it just me or did our generation (those of is who are currently 20-30 ish) just not get the opportunity to be young in the 'standard' sense?

Like, everyone I talk to who's over 40 has all their wild stories about their teens and 20s, being young and dumb, and then I talk to my friends and coworkers and classmates, and we just... dont.

[princessfaerygia]

So I sincerely just wish to go to the gym in mornings, workout on stairstepper, come home, pray, eat, love, sleep, do dishes, sweep floors, (despise carpet), take out trash. These things satisfy me and make me feel like I'm contributing and comfy. If I had it my own way we would also recycle and compost and have Atleast a small vegetable garden. But I'm so dumb like once I bought a lavender plant and it died on me. I suppose I both overwatered it and underwatered it. I feel almost as if I need someone else to tell me what to do sometimes and even then my mind isn't steady with the information. But yes I know how to compost and recycle. That is something I could do at my parents, but not currently with where me and my boyfriend are at. He wants to move soon but I honestly cannot fathom it. There is literally so much stuff I can't believe it, I'm here with such chaotic enticement and aggressive wonderment. Wowzee. So I'm walking back from the gym. I bought two vanilla almond milk yogurts and one acai berry. I usually go for acai berry always but there was only one left. I purchased fresh cut pineapple, Hawaiian energy drink, cheesecake for boyfriend, AND new black leggings which I sorely need. Last time I bought them size large but they were too baggy. Really? That means I'm thin. Wtf lol. But who knows on my birthday in August my size large black leggings gave me a camel toe and my boyfriend wasn't happy about it. I was a major dramatic Leo about it too cus it was my birthday and I had hoped to look good not have a camel toe lol. I even wore makeup and a fancy white princess shirt. I did look kinda good but was a real biatch that day. It will be great satisfaction to see if this size medium fits me. But I must shower before trying the leggings on. And my bf is high strung about some important things and needs my help looking for stuff. It's hard on me because I'm very self organized self focused and can't comprehend how someone else can be so different. Sometimes it's very dramatic and harsh between us. He says put myself in his shoes. If it were me I'd give up looking and just replace the damn thing I despise stress. I'm very disappointed but blessed.

[gay-kurapika]

God. I just read a reddit post about a woman and her abusive boyfriend and I'm glad she left him, but the contents of it made me remember something. I was having a shitty day one of the days I lived with Jayne, I don't really remember why. I think work had been stressful and I was behind on bills because I'd absolved her of paying rent and bills for another month so it was all directly coming from me, with my fast food worker salary. She was frustrated about something too but wouldn't say what it was, and I had some vague idea that it was my fault and I was just supposed to know. She suggested we throw things at the wall to vent some of that frustration we were both feeling (me knowing she meant "I wish I could throw this at you") and she picked a set of dishes that were a gift from my brother. They weren't particularly expensive or good, but I liked them because it was still kind on my brothers part and he doesnt usually give gifts. So we both threw them at the wall and I felt empty afterwards and she felt relieved. And nothing was solved. And nothing that belonged to her was broken. And about two weeks later I had to buy new glasses (ones that were up to her standard) because too many of them were broken. And I was also the one to sweep the floor so her dog and my cat couldn't step on the glass. It was textbook abuse. She manipulated me into breaking something special to me and participated in it herself, and I cleaned up after it and replaced it myself.

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i've never felt more comfortable. my flat is literally everything. and i enjoy going to office hybrid cause it really makes me appreciate the days when i'm at home. otherwise i need to find excuses to leave the house but at least this way i'm getting some exercise in every week. low key wish it was 2 days/week but it is what is is.

i forgot how amazing it was living alone. idk why but i love cleaning my space. doing laundry and organizing my things and showering and then lighting a candle and making my lunch for tomorrow. even sweeping the kitchen floor (and i hate sweeping). idk what it is but it just makes me feel.. together? i think it helps my place is so clean and nice in general, cause then when i clean i feel like it's ACTUALLY clean, not just surface clean if that makes sense.

i literally hope i don't have to live with a man ever again. i know my view is skewed because of jake, he made me really hate it at the end. but i know i just haven't found the right guy to live with. but even thinking about it, living with someone else, is repulsive. like, get the f out of my space. i enjoy my quiet time so much.

i've also gotten better at deciding what to make for dinner. usually and in the past it was always so hard and very stressful. even just thinking about what to make that isn't super unhealthy or doesn't require 15 ingredients. but i made tacos 2 weeks ago and i had leftover sour cream that's going to go bad soon so boom, buy some frozen perogies and make those. i dont remember it being this easy in uni but i also had no clue what i was doing and was teaching myself how to cook. it also wasn't this easy living with jake - but lets be real food was always a problem. would never eat leftovers, never had the energy to give any sort of input other than in the summertime. god i have so much resentment and bitterness. i did it to myself. i stayed. for probably 6 months too long. but ykno what, if i left any earlier i'd probably second guess myself and wonder what if. and, idk if i would've moved to calgary. i know i wouldn't be living in this apartment.

god my life would be so different if i had stayed longer. and honestly, i was on the trajectory for it. i even considered staying and maybe do it sometime in january after the holidays. omg i would've gone fucking crazy. laid off, so much time on my hands, him working, me doing absolutely nothing. me looking for some sort of job in vancouver. it makes me sweat just thinking about it. i would've been even more miserable than i had been before.

one thing that really stumps me is he KNEW i was unhappy. literally. he said. i know you haven't been happy for a while. LIKE?? OK?? so you're just going to not say anything or do anything and hope it figures itself out?? fuck he's such a dumb fucking idiot.

i really need this therapy session on sunday. he has literally made me hate and not trust men. i think that's it. i just don't trust anyone to give me a life better than i can give myself.

and maybe that's partly why i'm so down for Brandon. he lives so far there is literally no chance of him ruining my life lmao cause he'll eventually go home far away and i'm here safe from his masculinity.

but brandon is legit the polar opposite of jake. he's kind and loves cats and loves trance and doesn't smoke weed and likes to drink and doesn't LIE and make up stupid stories and fly off the handle with substances.

we'll see how she goes but at least right now i've not been as obsessed with brandon cause i've been so busy being happy on my own. 79 days.