#I say Shadow Milk cookie but it’s really just me who wants to see my favourite crk little guy suffer :3
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Changing Cookie Names
Usually, cookie run characters will have their name changed when they turn evil or change in a way, for example, Dark Enchantress Cookie and Healer Cookie.
Pure Vanilla’s name won’t be changed in this AU. Having a different name gives Pure Vanilla the chance to associate everything he does with this name, which isn’t what Shadow Milk wants. He doesn’t want this separate identity to exist, he wants Pure Vanilla to cope with everything as just ‘Pure Vanilla Cookie’. He can’t easily avoid the weight of his actions, he can’t lie to himself and say that ‘it was not my fault, I am not [insert name here]’. He will do everything as Pure Vanilla Cookie and no one else.
He already watched Pure Vanilla manage to avoid his guilt as Healer Cookie, even if unintentionally. Shadow Milk Cookie will not make that mistake. Even if Pure Vanilla managed to free himself, the weight of his sins would continue to haunt him and he would have no other name to associate with the past. His very name would be corrupted by Shadow Milk’s schemes.
I don’t know if I’m going to do this with the knight as well, since Shadow Milk views him differently. I should also probably think of a name for the au-
#fyp#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cr kingdom#crk#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla does not have a good time#I say Shadow Milk cookie but it’s really just me who wants to see my favourite crk little guy suffer :3#phantasmagoria crk
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Biology
“Uncle”!Joel Miller x afab!reader | w/c: 5.4k
Summary: Joel hurt his back at work, so you've been helping him around the house until he heals.
Content/Warnings: able-bodied, female sex anatomy, and inherently fem!reader. No description of reader, everything is neutral (ex. “your bottoms,” “the curve of you” — nothing is specific in the way “you” are described). Age gap (reader early 20s, Joel in 50s). EXPLICIT MATERIAL PRESENT. HEED THE WARNINGS. WEIRD boundaries are crossed…you're not blood-related to Joel, but you were raised like you were. You call him “uncle.” Pet names (baby, darlin’, sweetheart, etc.). Pussy pronouns (she). Innocent touches until it isn't. Sexual tension galore. Slight dub-con. Icky Joel. Icky reader. Pussy grinding. Dirty talk. Slight degradation (“bitch” is used only once). Multiple orgasms. P in V unprotected. Reader is on top. Lots of teasing about the nature of yours and Joel’s relationship. If there’s anything that should be up here but I missed or I made any improper tags, please let me know!
A/N: Hi, my loves! This is slightly different than what you’re used to coming from me… All I can say is, you’ve read the warnings! Don’t bite if it is not your flavor! But for those who do like, I really hope you enjoy! And to my love @strang3lov3, thank you for prompting this and encouraging this side of my brain to finally stop hiding in the shadows. And thank you for your eyes on this and the mood board as well. I love you.🩶
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“Hey, hon, when you headin’ over to uncle Joel’s?”
You glance at the timer on the oven. “In about ten minutes after these cookies cool. Need something from me?”
“Can ya grab my toolbox before ya leave? Forgot it there the other day,” he replies. “Figured you could get it since you’re already goin’ there today.”
“Sure thing. It’s not the heavy one, is it? Because I don’t know if that old man’s back is ready for a heavy lift like that yet.” The timer on the oven beeps. You slide on your oven mitts to pull the tray out. “Made two batches by the way. How many you want? I’m taking some to Uncle’s, too.”
About a week ago, Joel had a contracting accident. Some newbie wasn’t watching the older man’s back as Joel climbed up a wobbly ladder, and the next moment, Joel’s footing slipped. He landed right on his lower back, a piece of wood perched on the ground, sitting at just the right spot on the floor to render him immobile. Tommy, Joel’s younger brother, and your father, his best friend since before you were born, are the only two Joel trusts to get the job done perfectly, so Joel put them two in charge until he heals.
Bed rest, the doctor had ordered Joel, for at least three weeks. It’s been one so far, but with you offering to be his nurse — one that forces him to stay in bed unless he needs to eat or use the restroom — he thinks he just might be back to work by next week. If you’ll let him, that is.
“No, it’s the small one, hon, you got it,” your father reassures you. He lovingly slaps his growing belly as the trays hit the kitchen counter. “Y’know, darlin’, ever since you moved back, I’ve been gainin’ some weight. Can’t imagine what you’re doin’ t’ Joel over there.”
Your lip pulls up in a smirk. “Joel is in good hands, y’know. And technically, I don’t have to leave you any,” you say with a challenging brow, pulling the cookie trays out of his reach.
“No, no, I’m not sayin’ that,” your father’s eyebrows raise in worry. His daily cookie is very important to him. “You can leave me like… five… or six.”
“I’m just gonna leave you a whole batch. The six are gonna be gone before I even leave the house,” you tell your father as his hand subconsciously reaches for the cookie tray.
He scoffs, “Ya have no faith in me.”
“So what’s in your hand already?”
“Whatever,” he mumbles, walking away with a mouthful of warm cookie dough and melted milk chocolate chips.
“Uh huh,” you yell back. “Gonna be leaving in just a sec. I’ll see you later.”
It takes less than ten minutes to get to your uncle’s house. You unlock the door using the spare key he gave you as a teenager, and immediately, nurse mode is activated.
“Uncle Joel!” You yell, exasperated. He turns around from his place in the kitchen, painfully slow. He’s going to make his back worse. “What do you think you’re doing?” You place the fresh cookies on his dining table along with your keys. You cross your arms angrily for good measure.
“My coffee’s cold. I was warmin’ it up,” he huffs, annoyed.
“Bed, please.” Your hands find his waist, and you guide him back to his room. “You know I’m here around this time. You didn’t wanna call me first to see where I was?”
You ease him in a sitting position at the edge of his bed. He grunts as his ass meets the mattress. He grumbles his response. “Need to start gettin’ back to everythin’ independently, y’know that, don’tcha?”
“Is your memory going with your back, too, unc?”
“‘Scuse me?” He looks at you incredulously.
“Three weeks were the doctor’s orders. Not one,” you tell him, putting your foot down.
He lays himself down with another wince at the motion, no acknowledgement to your words. God, he’s so stubborn.
“I’ll go make you a fresh cup,” you tell him, feeling sympathetic for the man. His work is his life, and it’s not going to get any easier with age.
Making your way back to his kitchen, you wash out the coffee pitcher, replace the grounds and the filter, and do some light cleaning as you wait for the bitter, brown liquid to brew.
It’s only been five minutes since you returned to the kitchen, and the painful moans and groans from his bedroom have only gotten louder. You search around the place and find the heat pack you bought a few days ago and pop it in the microwave. You grab some pain meds, fill up a glass of water, and just in time, the microwave sings to you, telling you your contents are ready.
Ignoring the coffee for a moment, you make your way back to Joel’s bedroom. His eyes are closed, but his entire body is tensed up in pain. Poor guy. You knock at his door to catch his attention before entering. “Unc?”
One eye peels open. “Yes, nurse?”
“Funny.” A sarcastic laugh leaves your throat. “Come take these.”
He makes no move to get up.
You set the painkillers and the water on his bedside table, the heat pack wedged underneath your armpit. You start to reach for Joel to help him up, but he stops you. “I got it,” he grunts. You let him have this win.
You hand him the glass of water first, then the pills. He swallows the painkillers in one big gulp, swallowing down the rest of the water in another. He eyes the heat pack in your arm.
“Do you want-”
“Yes,” he says immediately, reaching for the soft warmth.
“Lay down first, I’ll put it underneath you.”
Without another word, he positions himself. His body jerks when your soft hand slips underneath his back, pushing him to lift a little while you slide the heat underneath. “This okay?”
“Mhm,” he forces out, eyes clamped shut. It’s not okay, you think.
“How would you feel on your stomach?” you suggest.
“Dunno. Never tried.”
“Well, then.” You set the heat pack down, and it’s your turn to crawl, uninvited, into his bed. You walk on your knees towards the opposite, unoccupied side, adjusting the pillows in a way you think might be the most comfortable. This isn’t your first rodeo dealing with an old man’s back; you’ve got your dad. This is, however, your first rodeo dealing with an old man more stubborn than a screaming goat not getting his way. “Come on.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“That ain’t gonna be comfortable.”
“How do you know?”
“I jus’ do.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose and take a deep breath. “I swear to God. I will flip your ass over myself if I have to.”
“You’re bossy,” he spits.
“So you’ve said.”
Not giving him a chance to prepare, you hook your one hand at his side and your other on his hip, and you pull him towards you. It doesn’t fully flip him over, but it does the trick in getting him to finish the rest of the action himself — albeit, with a very strained yelp from the back of his throat.
He groans for a few minutes more as you adjust some flat pillows underneath his belly and then prop the lukewarm heating back right at the base of his spine. You’ll probably have to heat it up in ten minutes again, but it’ll do for now. You stay in your spot for a minute, and already his pained noises begin to subside.
“Better?” You know it is. You just want him to admit it.
And when a single huff with zero protests from the grumpy man reverberates around the room, you know you’ve won this round.
“I’ll go get your coffee now,” you hum.
A soft rasp of your name has you spinning back around as you reach the room’s threshold.
“Hm?”
“Thanks,” he tells you.
“It’s what I’m here for, unc.”
You put his fresh cup of coffee in a thermos this time. You can’t imagine how often he’ll get up being in this position, but at least the freshness will be there with every sip he does end up taking.
“How’s it going?” You ask him as you set his coffee nearby. You feel the heat pack on his spine, and it’s as you called it to be by now: room temperature. “Want me to reheat it?”
“‘M okay,” he replies, voice groggy. He must’ve fallen asleep.
“Okay.” You stand there for a moment. You can tell the heat helped, but his body isn’t entirely relaxed. He’s still tense, as if a nerve or something is being pinched.
You recall your memory from a while ago before you moved back with your dad. Your brother, who is a mixed martial arts athlete, had a sparring session that hurt his back, nearly in the same area as Joel. He had you running his massage gun over his muscles nearly every night for a month straight. “It needs to uncoil somehow,” he told you. An idea crosses your mind then.
You saunter to Joel’s en suite bathroom in search of some type of lubricant. Sitting loud and proud on the center of the bathroom counter is a little bottle of Equate’s Personal Liquid Lubricant. Your brain falters for a second, the bottle of lube throwing you off your original plan. That is absolutely not the kind of lubricant you were looking for. Shaking away the image from your mind, you bend down to look in the cabinets underneath. Bingo, a bottle of Aveeno body lotion. This should do.
You invite yourself onto his bed for the second time today. “Let me give you a massage.”
“What?” His head turns to you now, utterly confused. He definitely heard you wrong, he thinks.
“Let me give you a massage,” you repeat. “It’ll help.”
A massage actually does sound nice right now. But you’ve been nothing but bossy this last week while Joel lays here helplessly. He’s bored. And he’s had enough. “It ain’t gonna help.”
“How do you know?”
“I jus’ do.”
Jesus. Haven’t you had this conversation before? You mentally slap your forehead. Again, leaving him no other options, you reach for his flannel atop his shoulders and begin to pull them down.
“Hey, hey, wait, now what in the hell-” He tries to stifle back a laugh as he wriggles in your hold, trying to playfully push you off without hurting himself more in the process.
You quickly release his clothes, hands up in surrender where he can see them. You’re just realizing now just how forward your action must’ve been. “How am I gonna massage you-”
The embarrassment written all over your face has Joel tearing up as he tries to hold his wheezing laugh in. With his eyebrow quirked at you, he responds, “If you wanted me naked, kiddo-”
“Jesus, ew! Really?” An unbearable heat spreads across your cheeks. Your eyes are downcast, looking everywhere else but him. “It- it’ll be better if I can directly touch-”
Only then do you feel the bed shaking with his laughter. He’s fucking with you. And here you were, about to offer something that would relieve a whole lot of pain. “Oh, fuck you,” you scoff, pulling yourself up and making your way off of his bed.
“No, okay, wait,” he laughs, trying to catch his breath. “Jus’ messin’ with you, who am I to deny a massage?” He raises his eyebrows once, twice. Still messing with you, seeing how far his taunting with you can go.
“You’re disgusting,” you deadpan.
“‘M not the one tryin’ t’ massage her uncle,” Joel says as he attempts to shrug his shoulders at you.
“I’m gonna leave now.” One foot makes it to the ground before Joel speaks again.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake, ya can’t take a joke? I’m only messin’ around. Come back. Gonna leave me hangin’? In pain? C’mon, nurse.” His tone falls softer, sweeter. You can hear the shit-eating grin in his words. And, fuck, why is it making you heat even further, in places beyond your face? In places you shouldn’t be?
“Fine,” you relent. “Stop saying weird shit then.” You still can’t look at him. Not after the way your body decided to react in the shift of energy. An abrupt shift of energy, as far as you can tell.
He’s your dad’s best friend. Your uncle, for crying out loud. Not by blood, but still. There’s never been a feeling beyond that. Sure, you’ve had your silly little school girl crush on him during your young teenage years, but that was your hormones being your hormones. You grew out of them. Even your own father can’t deny the conventional attractiveness of his best friend.
Plus, suggestive commentary is bound to make anyone feel hot. It’s basic biology. Your response is nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. At least, that’s what you convince yourself of when you climb back into your uncle’s— no, into Joel’s bed, trying to ignore the way your panties stick dutifully against your throbbing core.
Joel leans onto his side as you get yourself situated, unbuttoning the bottom half of his flannel, so you can flip up the bottom to reach his lower back. After the bottom half of the buttons are undone, he lays back on his front. “Here,” he calls your name. “Jus’ lift it up from the bottom.”
You scoot closer to him, standing on your knees, and you reach over to grab the hem of his flannel, pulling it up as gently as possible, exposing just enough to be able to reach the irritated areas. You frown at what you see. Inflamed skin, purples and yellows dancing all across his lower back, forcing him away from the very thing he lives for. He may have been a stubborn bitch this entire week, but that doesn’t stop the sympathy you feel for the man.
You put some of the lotion in your hand, rubbing it between your two palms to warm it up a little. You place your hand on the side closest to you first, moving in circular motions and adjusting your pressure ever so often. “Let me know when the pressure is good.”
So far he hasn’t said much, a slight groan here, an exhale there. You feel a knot as you move lower, so you increase your pressure. You’re met with a literal moan, and you swear you have to bite back your own vocal response. “Fuck,” he sucks in a sharp breath. “Yeah, jus’ like that, ‘s perfect, darlin’.”
“Okay,” you squeak, your thighs clenching together to attempt any kind of relief to the heat between your legs.
After a few more passes over the area — and a few more indulgent, harder presses of your palm to pull more angelic sounds from him — you switch to the other side. Except, at this angle, you don’t really have as good an angle as you did before. Your leg swings over his ass, bracketing him in between your thighs, before you can even register the move your body just made. A soft gasp falls from your lips as you feel the new angle you’ve just given yourself.
“Joel?” You call sweetly. Innocently.”I- I’m not hurting you or anything, am I?”
Hurting? No. Putting him through Hell? Close enough.
Joel has done many questionable things in his lifetime. Getting involved with taken (married or otherwise) women, couples who wanted a third… Joel has lived through it all. Mainly in his younger years, but nevertheless. He has done and seen many things. But none of these things have ever included getting a fucking hard on for a girl — a woman? — he practically had a hand in raising. You call him uncle, for crying out loud.
His physical response means nothing. It’s basic biology. The tender yet skilled touch of your warm hands directly against his even hotter skin, lighting every single nerve ending on fire, forcing the blood to course through his veins, to make its way down south—
“Christ-” he snarls as you practically sit on him. His mouth shuts instantly as his eyes shoot open. He didn’t mean for that to come out. “Y-yeah,” he corrects. “‘M alright.”
“Just- just let me know,” you tell him. He can hear the shake in your voice. He can tell biology is doing a number on you, too, based on your tone alone, if the heat engulfing his rear as you try your best not to make contact with it isn’t enough to go by.
He focuses on his breathing as best he can as your hands push slightly past his jeans, getting underneath the seam of his boxers, and then immediately softening your touch as you run your fingers up his spine, awaking a chill he never knew was possible until now. You rub beyond the exposed area of his lower back, reaching his shoulder blades and entirely up to his shoulders, forcing the flannel to rise with your hands. He’s so broad and warm, and you would absolutely be drooling all over him by now if you weren’t so shocked at how tight his muscles really feel. How has this man not gotten any injuries sooner? How was he still doing all this heavy lifting? You dig the pads of your finger tips further into the thousands of tiny knots you feel, and his body jerks in actual pain this time.
“God damn, girl,” he snaps. “What are you doin’?”
“How the fuck do you even function?” You sound genuinely horrified.
“What-”
“Your shoulders and neck are fucking covered in knots how do you even-” you cut yourself off with a disappointed click of your tongue. “You need to flip over.”
Fuck.
“Why?” He asks defensively.
“I’m gonna break these knots. I need to start from the front.”
“Ya ain’t gettin’ anywhere near my neck, I swear to God-”
“Quit being stubborn. What did I say earlier? I’m gonna flip you myself if you don’t-”
“Alright, fine, gimme a sec,” he bites. Joel takes a deep breath, at war with himself for how he’s going to handle his next course of action.
Whatever happens next, there is no avoiding the fact that you will be made aware of the bulging erection between his legs. You can know about it, that’s fine, but the second you make contact, he doesn’t know if he’ll have the strength to control himself. Which is why he rips off the band aid quick. Flipping himself over with you still hovering over him, he tries his best not to touch you. Though, the second he’s comfortable, his focus is on your waist, grabbing you immediately and missing the way your eyes widen at the tenting fabric of his jeans. He pulls you higher up to sit on his lower tummy.
You squeak out a little gasp as he adjusts you, and fuck it makes the pulsing between his legs even worse. He releases you, bringing his hands back to his sides.
“Comfortable?” you whisper. You try so hard not to use your voice, worried that it’ll reveal just how turned on you are by this situation you’ve put yourself in. He gives you a single nod, and with that, you lean to grab more lotion.
The angle you are at forces you to lean the front of your body onto Joel to be able to reach his shoulders. You can feel his body tense underneath you; you can hear his labored breathing as your hands further push away his flannel, working away at each knot.
You lean forward further, giving yourself the ability to reach just below Joel’s neck. With this action, your hips shift, pressing down against Joel’s belly in a way that sends a sudden jolt of butterflies through your core. Your hands freeze in their movement, breath and fingertips stuttering as your entire face and neck heat up. You sneak a quick glance to Joel, and his eyes are still relaxed. He didn’t notice.
It takes you a moment to start your movements back up again, but when you do, you can’t help the way you repeat exactly what you did before — allowing yourself another experimental roll of your hips against his soft abdomen. Only this time, you’re way less sly, for the whimper of pleasure you thought you could hide slips right out, right for his sharp ears to take note of. Shit.
“Y’ alright there?” His eyes are trained on you now; he knows what you just did. Joel sports a quirked eyebrow as he waits for your response.
“Mhm,” you rush out, ignoring his piercing gaze.
It takes every ounce of willpower for you to run over the knots in his shoulder again without driving your hips into him, but even the push and pull of your arms is a full body movement, and you feel it. You feel the growing wetness in your core, the growing heartbeat that his bare tummy no doubt can feel now.
Your body is splayed across him, the warmth of you leaking through your bottoms and onto his hot skin as you pathetically try to play off the fact that you aren’t grinding your wet cunt across him right now. With a rasp of your name, he takes a sharp breath in. “What are ya doin’?” He grunts, pained. Conflicted.
This is so wrong. But it feels so good. Your arousal — how utterly desperate you are for the older man underneath you — is shone all over your face, brighter than any other feeling of disgust or wrongness you’re trying to convince yourself of. But the internal battle is still there, though, and it forces your hips to come to a full stop. It forces cries of apologies from your lips. It forces regret.
“I- I’m sorry,” you choke back a sob. “Please, I- this is so wrong, I’m so stupid, uncle, I-”
God damn it. Joel is too damn hard to deal with this shit now. “Oh, Jesus Christ, will you cut the fuckin’ uncle bullshit?” He finally snaps. His hands spring to life, finding their way up your thighs, tightening once they reach your hips. He forces you to move again. “Ya think I wanna hear that fuckin’ word while you fuckin’ soak me? Huh? While ya rub on me like a fuckin’ bitch in heat?”
“Shit,” you moan, the strength of his hand making the assault against your mound all the more intense. “Joel, please,” you cry, your fingers shaking as you hold onto his chest.
Your thighs begin to tremble as he maintains a rough pace to your movements, his bed creaking with every shove of your hips against him. His grip on you is one of steel, the pads of his fingers digging into your flesh, no doubt leaving tiny bruises as a reminder of today’s actions.
He is fucking covered in you — the slick of your desire pooling through your bottoms and into his skin, making each grind smoother. He licks his lips at this, his eyes dark as he drinks you in from above; your own eyes glossy and a sheen of sweat along your skin. “Look at ya, darlin’,” he murmurs, voice low enough to send a fresh wave of arousal pouring from your hole. “Fuckin’ soakin’ me, baby. Needed me that bad, did ya? Was tryin’ t’ tell ya earlier,” he grunts, “Y’know ya just had to ask.” A lazy smirk pulls across his lip.
You let out a whimper at his words, your hips finally rolling alongside his own guidance, instinctively searching for more friction. “Atta girl,” he groans, “That’s it, fuck- makin’ a fuckin’ mess a’ me, darlin’.”
You’re panting now, the rhythm and pressure mixed with the filth of his Southern drawl ignites every single nerve ending throughout your body. He watches you with a dark intensity, the brown of his eyes replaced with pure black lust, his eyes unable to stray away from the pleasurable desperation filling your features.
“Gonna come like this, sweetheart?” He taunts, driving you into him even harder.
“Mmm- my God, yeah- yes,” you cry out, eyes rolling back as the coil in your belly finally tightens, your breathing ragged as needy moans escape your lips.
With a final roll of your hips and the utterance of a that’s my girl, the coil finally snaps, pleasure crashing over you, coursing through your veins as you come all over him, your slick unable to stay within the limits of your clothes, leaking and dripping down the sides of him and onto the mattress below. Your thighs convulse around his waist, his hold on you continuing your thrusts, dragging out your orgasm until your own hands find his and rip him away from you.
“Ya ain’t done yet, sugar,” Joel gruffs, grabbing the globes of your ass cheeks and dragging you down, letting you feel his ignored and now raging erection.
“Never said I was,” you purr, a soft moan blessing his ears at the feel of his bulge against your ass. He can feel your smirk against his chest.
Body still trembling, Joel lifts your ass in the air, sliding your bottoms down over the curve of your body. The stickiness of your panties pulls off with a wet squelch, the cool air of the room mingling with the wet warmth of your bare pussy, the stark contrast forcing chills to run through your veins.
“God,” he murmurs as you give a little wiggle of your ass in the air. “Pretty as a peach, huh, darlin’?” He guides you lower, pushing you down onto his bulge. The hardness of him beneath you immediately sends a fiery need to your core. Your hands move on their own as you pull your body up, reaching for the buttons and zipper of his jeans, undoing them with ease despite the eager shake of your hand. You pull the jeans down just enough to let his cock spring free, thick and angry and leaking.
“Oh, fuck,” you swallow your gasp. “God, I need you so bad,” you whine, already lifting up to line the tip of him to your swollen cunt.
You sink down with a breathless moan, your head flying back as your hands grip onto his tummy to keep you from buckling.
Joel’s breathing stutters, his moans filling the air as you practically choke his cock. “Shit- so fuckin- fuckin’ tight.” His hands find their home on the meat of your ass, holding you tight, grounding himself from coming like a damn teenager.
You move slowly at first, savoring the way he feels inside of you, how big he is. God, you don’t think you’ve ever taken anything quite as long and as thick as him. Your heart skips a beat at that, knowing that he’s ruined you for anyone else.
It isn’t long before the raw need takes over, and you move faster, hips rolling back and forth as you ride him, the wet sound of skin against skin as you alternate to a bounce ever so often.
Despite the risk of hurting his back even more, he can’t stop himself from gripping you tighter, his nails digging into your flesh as his hips buck up into you, starting their own rhythm, meeting every one of your thrusts. The sensation is overwhelming with the size of him; it’s a perfect mix of pleasure and pain, mixing sweet whines of ecstasy with whines of overstimulation, and it’s the best music to have ever graced his ears.
“Look at ya,” he grunts. “Fuckin’ made for this, weren’t ya? Fuckin’ made for takin’ this cock, huh, sweetheart?”
You nod weakly at his words. They send a flutter down your belly to your pussy, and his mouth is all it takes to send you to your second brink of collapse — your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you move, as he drives himself into you without abandon.
Every thrust pushes you further to the edge, the sting of the stretch, the sensation of being so full — it’s almost too much to bear. He can hear it in the way your cries change. It’s becoming too much.
“Y’ can take it, sweetheart, almost there,” he grunts. His hands take over in guiding your movements, urging you faster, harder, bringing you both to the cliff’s edge.
“C’mon, baby, can feel her squeezin’ me, know she wanna come, baby. Breathe, doll, jus’ let go,” he rasps, his words coming in staggered.
The wet tightness of your walls, both the feel and the sound, causes Joel to fall first — a low, guttural groan filling the room as he fills you with his hot, thick spend.
The sensation of him pulsing inside you, unloading everything he’s worth, sends you over your edge, your pussy clenching around his cock as you come, the sensation rippling through you, shredding your vocal cords as you scream out in pleasure.
Everything goes dark for you, nothing but the fuzzy sound of Joel’s sweet praises at the top of your head as he guides you through your come down.
“Did so fuckin’ good f’ me, darlin’,” he murmurs. “Sweet girl.”
For an asshole, who knew he could be so sweet?
You roll off of Joel as soon as your heart steadies, your entire body on fire from all the exertion. You can feel Joel’s body stiffen as you use him for support. His back is killing him right now.
A few moments pass as your eyes slowly start to close, but the deep gruff of your name stops you from dozing.
You turn your head to the man beside you. “Yes?”
For the first time today, it’s Joel who can’t make eye contact with you. “Can you, uh… can you-” he clears his throat, trying to rid himself of his awkwardness. “Can you warm up the heat pack again?”
Your smirk lifts your cheek before you can even try to stop it. “Come again?”
He lets out a frustrated huff. And he can’t turn away from you. His back is killing him right now. “My back-”
“Yeah, what about your back?”
“You fuckin’ little shit-”
You giggle as you flip onto your side, your hand holding your head up to get a better look at him. “Your back is hurting, baby? Need me to get the heat pack for you, hm?”
He doesn’t respond. He just has the deepest, most grumpiest scowl known to man on display.
“Oh, come on. You need my help, is that it? Need to hear you say it, unc.” You emphasize the last syllable of your sentence, a belly laugh threatening to escape you.
Oh, two can play at that game. “Yeah, baby, I need your help. I need the help from my beautiful, beautiful niece, hm? My beautiful, needy niece whose pussy gets all soaked jus’ thinkin’ ‘bout me, huh? Gets all wet and needy thinkin’ ‘bout her uncle-”
Your resolve finally snaps, your eyes clamping shut as you cover your ears, loud la la la’s coming from your mouth as you ungraciously roll yourself off of his bed. “Enough, fine! Fine! Fuckin’ nasty,” you groan as you make your way to the kitchen.
“‘M not the one who started it, sweetheart,” Joel says, a triumphant smile plastered across his cocky face.
“I made you cookies by the way,” you yell after a beat. “Want one?”
Joel’s hand reaches for his belly. He doesn’t need one, that’s for sure. “Yeah,” he responds not a second later.
You come back to his bedroom, heat pack in one hand, no cookie in the other. You hand him the heat pack. You make him adjust it himself.
“Where’s the cookie?” He asks, a tinge of impatience on his tongue.
“Oh, I thought you were gonna come down and get it.”
He looks at you incredulously.
“I just figured you wanted to start being more independent and all. Given how strenuous you were being a few moments ago,” you offer with a faux innocence.
“I swear to fuckin’ God, when I get my hands on you-”
“Your hands on me? Yeah? When?” You start making your way out of his bedroom. “Come get me if you wanna show me a lesson. Know you been dying to all week.”
If he can fuck you the way he did, maybe full-time bed rest isn’t what Joel needs. He needs to stretch and move around; he needs to activate his muscles, especially being on the older side. It really is basic biology.
I would absolutely love to hear what you guys thought of this! Any and all your love and commentary truly keeps me going and motivated even when the writer’s block is at its strongest. Wouldn’t be here without you all. I have so much love in my heart for you! Talk to y’all soon🩶
I cannot get myself to write for Joel or for TLOU without mentioning the horrors occurring in Palestine. Please check out the links in my navigation + bio to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can help🇵🇸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.
Leaf divider by @saradika-graphics
#endless thoughts fics#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#pedrohub#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#smut#pedrostories#one shot#fic#smut fic#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel x reader#joel miller fluff#joel miller one shot#joel miller x female reader#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#tlou smut
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AN: Def seems like the person to deny being sick, and act like a little bastard, and not take medicine, and just act whiney and clingy
Sick! Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader
Oneshot (headcanons below)
Warnings: idk, just a silly little post of our favorite trickster ☆☆☆
-Sick-
"Shadow Milk, you have to take the medicine or you're not going to get better!"
"I already told you- It's gross and I don't wanna!"
This back and forth had been going on for who knows how long.
You see, Shadow Milk had caught a cold, and you have been trying to get him to take medicine to recover. The only problem was, he was being a stubborn little brat.
"And I'm fine! It's just a cough. I'm not even sick-"
Oh, and there was that too. He kept insisting that he was fine when he clearly wasn't.
"You threw up an hour ago."
"That's unrelated."
You frowned.
"If you don't take it then I'm going to become sick. You would want that, right?"
He glared at you. "I don't like how you're using your own health against mine," he'd say.
"Fine, give it here," he reached his hand out for the bottle of medicine, to which you happily gave him.
Then he began to gulp it down by the bottle-full.
"MILKTHATSNOTHOWYOURESUPPOSEDTOTAKETHEMEDICINE-" You'd scream out in mild panic.
"Just be grateful I'm even taking it in the first place!" He'd hiss.
He finished the entire bottle.
"This stuff tastes gross. I don't know how you normal people do it," He'd stick out his tongue, and you would snatch the now empty bottle from his hands.
"That's because you're not supposed to drink all of it."
"Yada Yada, rules aren't really my thing, doll. Anyway, am I like.. not sick anymore?"
What a clueless, loveable, idiot.
"...No. You have to wait a while,"
He had a disgusted look on his face.
"Are you serious? I drank that whole bottle and it doesn't even cure me? That's such a scandal." He would cross his arms.
"Again, you weren't supposed to drink it all."
"Yeah yeah, my bad. Now hurry up and cuddle me. It's been much to long since I've last had you in my arms." He would reach his arms out for you, making grabbing hands and a pouting face.
"No way- I don't want to catch what you have."
He ignored your response and snatched you under the covers with him.
You were really stuck now. You both know that if Shadow Milk wants something, it's his. And in the current moment, he wanted your attention.
"If you do end up getting sick, then I'll be the one to take care of you."
It was going to be a long week.
Headcanons ☆
Runs around the house to avoid taking medicine
Denies being sick, even though he sneezes like every five seconds
Refuses to rest
Will get abnormaly warm, but will still complain about being cold
Will cuddle you in the night and you're legit overheating
He says sorry but doesn't do anything about it
Either takes all of the blankets from you, or puts ALL of the blankets on both of you
Either way, he uses all of the blankets
Ten times clingy, but he insists its for 'no reason in particular.'
Gets so whiney and needy
If he doesn't have your attention 24/7 he screams
Will 100% use his sick status to avoid responsibilities
Still a flirty bastard
If he ever seems to get randomly better, he'll say it's because of your love
One time has attempted to start an... interesting doctor and patient role play
You shut down the idea quickly and he wouldn't stop nagging you about it for the rest of the day
#cookie run kingdom#Cookie Run#crk#Cookie run x reader#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#crk oneshot#cookie run oneshot#cookie run kingdom oneshot#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk#shadow milk cookie x reader#shadow milk x reader#shadow milk cookie oneshot#shadow milk oneshot#shadow milk cookie crk#shadow milk crk#shadow milk cookie cookie run kingdom#crk fluff#shadow milk cookie fluff
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Psst, hear me out: The Beast being fucking yanderes with the ancients.
You Get It™️ I mean... Did you guys see episode 6? Burning Simp Cookie is already a yandere lol. He's been there and he refuses to leave. And Shadow Milk is honestly not that far behind, he feels some type of way towards Pure Vanilla and it would be cute if it wasn't so sad and creepy lol
Really though, I just love hero/villain ships in general (always have, since long before Cookie Run ever existed) and I get a kick out of villains acting stupid over crushes (read: obsessions), and acting stupid in general. There's just something about a villain being in love with the hero to a psychotic, comical degree, and the hero rebuffing them at every turn that's just really amusing to me lol. Like what Joker sort of has with Batman, you know?
Here are my Yandere Beasts in bare-bones terms:
Burning Spice: come on, if you've read my stuff, you know EXACTLY what Yandere Spice is like lol. If not, I'll refer you to this and this, as well as my fics on AO3. If those don't tell you what Yandere Spice is like then idk how else to help you lol
Shadow Milk: if the final boss of theater/drama kids had a crush but was also a malignant narcissist of some sort lol. Absolutely DESPERATE for Vanilla's attention at all times. If he's not actively trying to worm into Vanilla's brain and harass him in his thoughts and dreams, he's in the real world brainstorming better ways to do that lol. He does not grasp why the creepy puppet shows and gaslighting attempts aren't convincing Vanilla to fall in love with him. Will attack and torment and insult Vani in one breath and then praise and love and worship him in another, because he's a histrionic clown freak with whirlwind emotions. But above all else, he literally thinks he owns Vani and is meticulously plotting the horrible and hilarious demise of any and all he perceives as a threat to their union
Eternal Sugar: World's Laziest Stalker™️. Almost exclusively haunts Holly in her dreams (I have to assume that that's what her power will entail, as the Beast of Sloth); however, she's more "effective" in her wooing attempts due to her past experience as the Herald of Happiness. She actually goes out of her way to construct dreams and the like that have things in them that make Holly happy (or what she thinks makes Holly happy; she, as well as the others, has big tunnel vision and is very selfish and self-absorbed, and thus pays more lip service to her own wants than those of who she loves/obsesses over). Thankfully doesn't run into Holly in person often because that's work... but sometimes she DOES work up the nerve to go after her for real, and... well
Mystic Flour: Denial, denial, denial. Not just a river in Egypt the Golden Cheese Kingdom, but she'll say and act like otherwise. No, she does not like Dark Cacao. He robbed her of her volition and the chance to enact her will. He prevented her from freeing the world from pain and suffering. He is a stubborn fool who refuses to understand the truth. He... is very handsome. She does not like how handsome he is. It is distracting. She doesn't like dwelling on her memories of him and their encounters. She doesn't like how she came to harbor a single kernel of respect in her heart after he stood his ground against her; a kernel that she inadvertently nurtured and cultivated slowly but surely, until... no. No, she doesn't like Dark Cacao. She doesn't think about him all day. She doesn't want to try to lure him back to her land so she can trap him in the flour fog with her again. She doesn't miss feeling his dark eyes on her. She doesn't deeply resent his attachment to his people, and seek to transfer that attachment to her instead. No, she... damn it, he's ruined her. He's made her feel things again. He's made her succumb to selfishness and greed, to earthly desire and attachment - desire for HIM, attachment to HIM. All of her hard work and enlightenment gone to waste... She doesn't want to like Dark Cacao, she recognizes the folly in such a thing, but she's stuck - and so stuck is she that not only does she not really see a way out, she doesn't WANT one. She's become too content with her attachment to him too quickly. Now she has to agonize over her own foolishness, and try to keep denying that she doesn't care while also longing for his attention and wanting to do away with all that steals his attention away from her
Silent Salt: probably the least awful of the five, but he's still creepy and that's not a high bar to clear anyway lol. Has a better grasp on "normal" behavior than the others (like... he pays attention to what White Lily likes/wants and tries to adjust accordingly), but he's following her around everywhere and acting extremely violent and territorial over her towards anyone who he catches approaching her. He's legitimately, surprisingly sweet and gentle towards her; he brings her flowers, he listens to her when she asks/tells him something, he's more or less respectful of her personal space (he will try to be as physically close to her as possible, but actually backs off a little if she asks him to, only to try again, and so on and so forth)... but he's still a villain, he's still violent and creepy, he still gets angry when she pays attention to other people for too long and he has brought actual harm to others out of jealousy. He's the best of the worst but that really doesn't mean much of anything, he's still a psycho creep like the others
In short, they form a tight-knit coalition of absolutely fucking deranged freakazoids and they should all probably die :)
#i'm having more fun with this idea than I probably should#please feel free to ask me more about Yandere Beasts I welcome it wholeheartedly#writing crazy people is so much fun to me lol#cookie run kingdom#burningcheese#goldenspice#silentlily#hollysugar#mysticcacao#pureshadow#shadowvanilla#ancient cookies#beast cookies#yandere beasts#new yandere beasts tag let's goooooo
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Hello I saw your platonic Crk story with the beast cookies and I was just rewatching the theater of lies episode and I got an idea, what if the reader gets so angry at Shadow milk cookie that they just scream "SHUT IT!" which stuns everyone into silence not even knowing the reader could get that mad, if you're not comfortable with writing this or simply don't want to that's completely alright 😊
o_O
interesting- Interesting indeed-
I could've made this so much more simple but- I didn't ToT
Annoyance
[PLATONIC]
(Beast Cookies X Reader)
Notes:
Reader will be Non-binary
#Peaceful Mode
Simple mind things
The Beasts were revived. What was the first thing they did? Find their little sibling of course.
{SecondPOV}
~~~~~
You were shocked to see your old friends in front of front of you again. The difference was not only in their appearance and names but their personality too. Blueberry Milk in particular. Or rather... Shadow Milk Cookie. He used to be your best friend... Now he's your greatest annoyance.
Before he was the most quiet and the "Hold my hand when crossing the road" friend now he's the "Jackass bitch I wanna strangle but they're still my friend" friend.
Ever day..
And I mean- EVER DAY- He's annoying you with something different before rambling on and on.
"[Reader] Cookie, why did you dye your frosting? You know I loved it [H/c]? Can I change it back?"
"[Reader] Cookie, Why are your drawing the soul jam thieves?... What do you mean they aren't thieves!?"
"[Reader] Cookie, who are Espresso Cookie and Madeline Cookie? They aren't your boyfriends are they?"
"[Reader] Cookie~! Come look at my new puppets~!"
You were getting fed up because most of the time he would bother you when you're working on important stuff.
But this time. You were working on something VERY important. Crushed Spice- Err... Burning Spice Cookie. He recently had to fight the other Wild spices because something happened. In the process, his favorite bracelet got damaged and you were fixing it.
Before, Burning Spice didn't really care about his appearance, but now he did. He wanted to look powerful and offered you somehting you couldn't refuse. So you had to fix it for him.
Leaning in closer so that you can see it better, you carefully started to melt some golden cheese so that you can fix it. Liquid cheese can get very hot so you had to be very careful when- "Wow! Would you look at that!" "WAAAHHH!!"
Screaming in shock at the sudden cookie you dropped all the liquid cheese onto Burning Spice's bracelet, absolutely covering it in liquid cheese. You stared at Shadow Milk Cookie before looking at Burning Spice's bracelet, and then back at Shadow Milk Cookie. "Are you kidding me...?" You asked in disbelief.
"Heeey~ What's it matter? I just-" You started to tune out Shadow Milk Cookie as you stared at the ruined bracelet.
THE ONE THING THAT BURNING SPICE WANTED SO THAT HE WOULD TAKE YOU TO MEET THE OTHER SPICES.
Yup! That was it! All you wanted was the meet the other Spices! but Burning Spice never allowed you because it was too dangerous! The reason why you've always wanted to go is because you helped a little Kulfi get home a couple years ago and you promised to meet them again!
"-Surely it can't be that bad-"
"SHUT IT ALREADY YOU UNKNOWLEDGEABLE, DECEPTIVE- *grumble* *grumble* DUMMY!!"
Shadow Milk, who sat across from you, paused.
Burning Spice who just walked in to check on his bracelet, went slack jawed.
Silent Salt, who was with Burning Spice, felt his soul gem die.
Mystic Flour and Eternal Sugar gasped and snorted respectively.
They didn't know how to react. How could they? Years ago, you were the cookie who would always say, "Mind your manners, it's not nice" With a small pout on your face.
But now- you just told your best friend that he was being an annoying bitch-
Shadow Milk Cookie in particular, stared at you in shock.
All of a sudden- he fainted and started frothing at the mouth.
Meanwhile, you just walked away, grumbling to yourself.
"That's not my best friend... Never has been."
~ (OwO) ~
I could've made this more simple than it had to be so I dunno why I went with lore...
#cookie run kingdom#Platonic#CRK#CRK X Reader#beast cookies#shadow milk cookie#burning spice cookie#mystic flour cookie#eternal sugar cookie#silent salt cookie#Small angst..?
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Probably already asked before how did you get into cookie run?
I can’t find the original answer for it so I’ll say the abridged version here
back in the day I was super confused by cookie run because I saw fanart and didn’t get what it was. Cookies running?? All I see are cool (humanoid) character designs, where tf is the cookie run part of this??
Then I learned cookie run was a gacha game sometime around the crk BTS update and thought “ew I don’t like gacha”. BUT I did like the character designs, specifically crk’s—and it turned out I had friends who were into cookie run, who posted fanart around the same time so it was on my tumblr dash for me to see?? So then I went “god it’s those freakin cookies again.” And after doing a little peeking into the actual series (mainly crk), I was like “oh ok. hey my oomfies I think this game might trap me in a fixation hole so can you discourage me from playing the game? It is gacha and I don’t want to spend my money.” Oomfies predictably did the opposite.
So then I was like “ok fine I will play cookie run kingdom for like… an hour or two, I will see how bad the pay to win feature affects the playability.” Turns out, for someone like me who’s mainly interested in the main story, not much at all!!! And that was it pretty much, alongside seeing the Ancients. It was not as predatory as I thought it would be, and to this day the game is actually playable without spending money at all. Sure I will be a scrub compared to whales, BUT I am the kind of gamer who’s pretty good at grinding things (thanks guild wars 2 skyscale quest) so I know I can get there with enough work if I choose to or even care to.
Which not really, I don’t care about the pvp and master modes, I just want a banger story and that’s exactly what I got. Crk’s story is very good??????????? (Also the worldbuilding in general)
Which speaking of it really helped that I got into crk just before Beast Yeast started so I had a very juicy story to follow, because if I had joined any earlier (like the BTS update) then I don’t know if I’d have been as into the game as I am. So thank you shadow milk, you were the nail in the coffin
TLDR: I actually wasn’t planning to get into cookie run but it grabbed me by the throat and threw me through a wall, fun stuff!
#fun fact#I knew my fate in the fandom was sealed when I made the pitiful children wip#because I don’t usually whip out a whole animatic idea for media I have#a regular amount of interest in#crk#sorry all my tf ogs I did not see this coming#ty for those who r staying lol
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HIII ITS ME AGAIN, i’ve got another idea for you, that you make a little drabble about.
so the time line is like before the yan!beasts got corrupted, or like post-corruption or something, reader is a very overpowered cookie but timid and shy in a way, including considerate and kind, they wants to help people they genuinely loves and cares about (including the beasts), therefore this also makes them a people pleaser/push over, so they keep theyre power secretive
after a while, reader started to see a shift in theyre personality and how they started to resent cookies that didn’t have the same power as themselves, and how they are being kinda possessive/obsessive towards reader, and more really unhealthy behaviors, but of course, like the fool they are, reader decided to ignore those red flags, cause it’s better then having literal no one (said by reader)
anyways when days pass, more things start to change, they start becoming more malicious towards other common cookies, how they cause more chaos and other stuff, of course reader is a bit too delusional to care… till the witches/creators came, saying they need to trap them for good, of course you retaliated (verbally), saying how you care for them and other stuff, and you won’t go through with this, and they tell reader something that will really open theyre eyes to the world, pointing out the actions the beasts do and how shitty and bad they are (including some things they say, how they treat reader etc) how bad their intentions truly are, after this reader was really upset about them, they might be delusional but not THAT delusional, so i think you can vison what happened next now, they advise a plan to get them in a place where the witches can trap them, using reader as a bait, then once it’s done, reader left, no matter how many pleads or yells the beasts through at them, reader didn’t turn back, not even to glance at the prison that they brought themselves upon, as reader walked off, they made a vow to themself, a promise to never be fooled and manipulated like that again, to never pretend to be something they aren’t, after that, they became a whole entire different cookie (woahhh character development, anyway imagine them having a more bayonetta like personality/mindset and strength and speed?) maybe a little crossing of paths once the beasts get out of prison
(also i recently just learnt I HAVE MY OWN TAG? idk why it just made me feel special)
You have?? Such?? Good ideas?? Never stop sending in requests, I love all the ideas you always come up with!!
You were a cold Cookie, with no one really knowing why. You hardly trusted and tended to be very suspicious of Cookies of power. To say it took you ages to even think of trusting the Ancients wa an understatement.
You were heavily against the idea of going to Beast-Yeast, yet you eventually relented. Not for yourself, but to make sure that none of them got manipulated like you did.
You were completely ready to throw hands when the Beasts showed up. To stay you were pissed was an understatement. Somehow, they were convinced they were the victims! Because their fun was cut short!
Shadow Milk Cookie is the biggest instigator. He still thinks you're a pushover and portrays you as such, only to be completely confused when he sees you decimate that animatronic. That was.. a change in the script he didn't expect.
Burning Spice Cookie and Silent Salt Cookie are both taken aback by how ready you were to fight them. Guess that shy part of you was gone!
Eternal Sugar Cookie used to lovebomb you a lot whenever you were still shy. She's surprised to see it no longer works, but doesn't mean she still won't try!
Mystic Flour Cookie is the only one who realizes that you're no longer the same pushover. However, it doesn't mean she won't try and use you for her own benefit again.
#cosmos stars#star: elwiqs#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#burning spice cookie x reader#eternal sugar cookie x reader#silent salt cookie x reader#shadow milk cookie x reader#mystic flour cookie x reader#cosmos constellations
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I meant the isekai x self-aware fic with the team that you would never fight. I love it and want to see a part 2 of it. (sorry if I worded my previous ask incorrectly and confused you into thinking I was talking about another fic!)
OH- Butterfly- be more specific next time. I got around 3 different self-aware crk au's going on and you ought to specify which one you're referring to. I'm gonna mix them up if you don't T T Anyways, part two coming right up
Previous part
The ball's in your court pt2
While the battle between the heroes and Shadow Milk cookie raged on, Y/N cookie was just chilling with the kids and watching from the side eating popcorn (From where? nobody knows). The fight was pretty much still a 50/50 battle since neither team was taking enough damage for defeat. When did Shadow Milk cookie become THIS resilient??? Oh well, provided you got the healers doing their job and everyone else is holding up it would be fine.
Gingerbrave: So...
Strawberry cookie: The baker, hm?...
Wizard cookie: I thought you'd be bigger...
Y/N cookie: the feeling is mutual. And take as much time as you need to come to terms with it.
Strawberry cookie: And those cookies- the ones you brought to fight. Are... they the really like the ones we know? As in- the white lily cookie and dark cacao cookie. I don't know who the other two are.
Y/N cookie: Yes and no. Unlike the cookies of this universe, these ones are solely brought in to fight the enemy on my command. And if they crumble it's not a permanent death. They'll always come back provided I choose to use them for battle again. And even if I don't, they're on standby. Though I don't exactly think I'll need to put any of them on the bench with how well the battle is going.
Y/N cookie looks back at the fight, which hasn't calmed down in the slightest. But at least they were slowly getting the upper hand. The three other cookies looked at each other before looking at the baker.
Wizard cookie: So you're saying that anyone you choose to fight for you can and will appear?
Y/N cookie: Yeah, but that'll probably only be possible once I beat this boss or they lose.
Gingerbrave: Wow! This is so cool! It's like some awesome video game in real life!
Y/N cookie:... riiiiiiiiiiiight......
Strawberry cookie: I have a question.
Y/N cookie: Ask away.
Strawberry cookie: Earlier you said something about... Elder Faerie crumbling?... I-is that really gonna happen?
Y/N cookie: Uhh
Wizard cookie: Oh so I wasn't the only one who heard that.
Y/N cookie: Well-
Gingerbrave: Wait- he's gonna crumble?! When?!
Y/N cookie: Ok just calm down so I can speak, geez!
All three cookies go silent, looking up at Y/N cookie with visible concern as they sigh.
Y/N cookie: So originally, he supposed to die. I'm not gonna go into too much detail cuz that's way too many spoilers but yeah, he dies. I was admittedly hoping it wouldn't come to that since a whole lot of dialogue was changed, but I guess there odds of the story changing were pretty low.
Gingerbrave: W-when does it happen?! Maybe we can stop it?!
Y/N cookie: Considering how long the fight's been going I'd say right about-
Just then there was a yell of pain from the battle grounds, causing all the cookies to look at the source. Surprise surprise, Elder faerie was dying.
Y/N cookie: Now...
The four went to the scene. (skipping the whole using the guardians strength part because it's gonna take forever for me to finish this story if I don't.)
Y/N cookie: Can't you heal him or something, Mystic flour cookie?
Mystic flour cookie: No.
Y/N cookie: Why not-
Mystic flour cookie: I'm not about to interfere with a canon event.
Y/N cookie: Ah- fair.
Burning Spice cookie: And so the old fool dies. And yet, I still feel nothing.
Y/N cookie: Wait is that a ref-
White Lily cookie: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NOCHALANT ABOUT THIS?! I JUST BECAME A GUARDIAN FOR TREES SAKE!
Moonflower Faerie: You'll get over it.
White Lily cookie: Wait- really?
Moonflower faerie: No- that's gonna haunt you for weeks to come, trust me.
White Lily cookie: oh-
Dark Cacao cookie (Dragon lord): Now, let us make haste and seal that wretched beast once and for all.
Y/N cookie: He's gonna be back in- like, Beast yeast episode 7
Burning spice + Mystic flour: What?-
Y/N cookie: Nothing- let's just go!
#crk#cookie run kingdom#cr kingdom#crk x reader#burning spice cookie#cookie run#mystic flour cookie#shadow milk cookie#white lily cookie#pure vanilla cooke#gingerbrave#strawberry cookie#wizard cookie#awakened dark cacao
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Requested by @deirdredeity (I accidentally deleted the og ask because tumblr was being fussy) :
OMG?? 🤯🤯 whattttt omgggg fuck being an anon I’m the one who requested the flustered reader shi (mmm was an anon bcz I didn’t wanna embarrass myself but whatever) omg dayumm you went crazy with it and I’m more than satisfied 😍 you always EAT (get it? haha.. eat.. and shadow milk.. haha) I love it tysm ❤️❤️ glad that I didn’t accidentally break a rule hehe.. we love girlboss girlfailures in here 😘 didn’t expect it to be that spicy but nevertheless I am GLAD ty for this juicy piece also you said currently he’s sealed so continuation where bro is UNsealed? 🤯🫣 (jk don’t take me too seriously I have a mental age of 5 jokes aside thank you i really appreciate it, it turned out super well way beyond expectations I was expecting like a few pickup lines or smooches but definitely not this it blew me out of the water hard tytytyty ily❤️)
Alright bet I get to go crazy again
Requested Prompts #43 - 💓
There's a ringing in your ears, what the hell happened? You just wanted to take a nap... yet it feels like you were in a dome of glass that just shattered. You can feel a poking against your cheek, it's something large, metalic and- wait. You crack open your eyes, just enough to see the intimidating form of Silent Salt staring you down. You're lucky that the beasts consider you... actually, you don't know what they really think of you. Do they think you're their pet? Their friend? a Frenemy? Well, either way you were their warden. " Silent Salt...?" You groan, pushing yourself up from the ground. Silent Salt says nothing, merely just pointing a ways in front of you to- ... hold on, WHAT THE FUCK??? " THE SEAL???" You exclaim, looking at the humongous crack in the realm of the seal. It pulsed with a blue, shadowy energy, which could only mean that Shadow Milk had escaped. And that was bad, very bad, because it meant that you were failing at your job. And... with how big that crack was you doubted that Elder Faerie was on the outside trying to wrangle Shadow Milk back into the seal... Meaning that you had to go outside to get him back in, but doing so would leave the other beasts unattended. Either way, you're failing at your job. So what choice do you really have? You look back at Silent Salt. " Uh... thanks for letting me know?" You said to him, to which earned you a thumbs up in response. You quickly pondered on your choice before looking back to Silent Salt. " Try not to escape while I'm gone, I don't want to double fail at my job." You tell him before running off towards the crack in the seal.
----
As you expected, everything was chaos. Possessed faerie cookies lingered, danced, and fooled around all around you. There were quite a few things that were on fire and the echoes of twisted laughter almost mocked you as you steeled yourself. None of them were who you were looking for despite the resemblance he'd dressed them up in. " Dammit... where would he go if he got out on his own?" You muttered to yourself as you looked around. Fortunately, you could narrow it down to a few places, unfortunately you realized that you are but one cookie. You cannot traverse the entirety of Beast Yeast in just a few minutes or so, it'd take you a few days realistically and by then all the other beasts would have likely gotten out! Were you really fucked no matter what? Probably. You took a deep breath, if anything he'd probably be in some kind of gigantic theater- Well wouldn't you know, there's a gigantic theater right over there that's just oozing with Shadow Milk's aura. There was no way he wouldn't be there, and so that's where you'd go. Hopefully you'd be able to drag him back to the seal.
----
Shadow Milk watched as those pesky little heroes ran about, celebrating as if they'd truly won. Those poor, ignorant fools! They really thought that they'd actually sealed him away in the tree again? They'd been running around in his silly little maze ever since he'd taken hold of the new half-a-cookie guardian's little friends! It was honestly quite pathetic how they hadn't realized they'd been tricked into a false sense of security, he was literally the beast of deceit! Everyone's most beloved Trickster! Tricking them into this just felt too... easy, too boring. He could try his hand at getting Silly-Vanilly to chop down the tree, all he has to do is show him the truth! And why wouldn't he want to know the truth if he embodied it? Unless he was willing to live in a lie... then he was much farther from the Truth than Shadow Milk thought- His train of thought was interrupted when the doors of his theater of lies swung open. " Hm?" That was... odd. Elder Faerie certainly shouldn't be alive, White Lily and co are stuck in his maze of deceit, so then who...? There you stood, looking quite peeved off if he had to say so himself. " Oh! Little Warden, how thrilling that you've come to make an appearance!" He chirped, casting his view of the maze to the side. The maze could wait, his little warden was here! " Shadow Milk Cookie!" You called out, pointing at him accusingly. " You will return to the great seal immediately! And that is an order from the Warden of the Seal!" You commanded him, don't mind the quick pov switch but it was frustrating enough that Shadow Milk escaped in the first place, and now he had the audacity to give you such a smug grin in reply? " Oh Little Warden..." Shadow Milk began, laying on his stomach as he rested his chin on the back of his hand. " It's so so so cute that you think that you can order me around like that~! I'm a free cookie now, and that means that I can do whatever I want again~!" He chirped with a flourish of his free hand, you could see the excited mania dancing in his eyes, you couldn't allow this to stand. " Okay, but you haven't actually earned your freedom at all. You just waited until the seal was weak enough so you could break out!" You retorted, which may have been the wrong thing to say judging by the way his grin dropped for a moment. He soon broke out into a maniacal cackle, seeming to have found your words hilarious. " Ehe he he ha ha hah! Sure, I may have done that, but does it really matter?" He teased, reaching out a clawed hand and picking you up by the edge of your cloak. You shrieked as you were hoisted into the air, you didn't have the protection of the seal that kept you from crumbling while in the real world, so your life was in a lot more danger here. " Ack- Put me down! Or at the very least hold me properly!" You protest as you squirm in place, you feel a shudder run through your dough as the beast before you lets out a low, rumbling chuckle.
" And why should I? You adorable little morsel~" He purrs, flipping you around in his hand so that you were laying on your back on his palm instead of dangling in the air. God fucking dammit, he was doing this again. He knows every, single, god damn weak spot of yours and by god does he abuse them frequently, mainly because they mostly relate to him. " You-!!" You protest, quickly shutting up when you feel his breath wash over you like a wave of hot air. And the way he's looking at you is already making you weak- No, you have to stay strong. " You know..." You hear him begin and fuck when did he get so close? There's a certain glint in his eyes, one that both intrigues you and makes you fear for your life. " I never really got a taste of you like I wanted to... Care to let me just have one little bite? Or maybe just a taste... either would be fine~" He teased with the low, stupidly sexy voice of his. You could already feel his lips at the tips of your little cookie feet, ready to open and swallow them whole if you let him. You could already feel your face turning cherry red, and you knew that he could see it judging by the slight excitement that made itself known in his eyes. You felt tempted to indulge him, but you also didn't want to lose your feet... But maybe he'd go back to the seal? No, he wouldn't... Would he? Or maybe he won't just go for your feet, he's teased you multiple times about gobbling you up in one bite. So if you give him this will he just... eat you? Apparently, you took too long to decide. You felt something moist and blue against your arm, a semi-satisfied hum creeping out of the beast holding you captive. " Mmn... I was right, you really are a sweet little treat. One that I can have all to myself~" Shadow Milk purred, his face looming over you as he left you to process what he'd done. You were in for a long ride, weren't you?
----
AUGHIJBSGHGKSHG I CAN'T, I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE/lh Shadow milk... you bastard why must you make me FEEL THINGS????
but, uh, i hope you enjoyed and if anyone wants to continue this then PLEASE.
#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#cookie run au#crk#cr kingdom#shadow milk cookie#cookie run au prompts#beast yeast#shadow milk cookie x reader#warden!reader prompts
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alright so the main reason i wanted to make this blog; those new Wind Archer trailers.
I already had a lot to say about the first one, for... One big reason.
The fact we're going to the laboratorium is pretty exciting, but I did not expect for us to already catch a glimpse of the Ultimate Cookie. In fact, I had almost forgotten about that; I thought Matcha making MyCookie was more of a byproduct of the Beast cookies needing bodies to inhabit, but...
Well, I guess Dark Enchantress's original ambitions haven't left her. And she's really, really close to realizing her dreams; the dreams she carries on from White Lily Cookie.
It really makes me wonder how White Lily would react to these developments. To see her dreams realized, every bit as horrifying as she most likely knew they'd be, carried on by a part of herself. I really, really wanna see where they go with this.
On another note...
sorry, i just much prefer his Japanese VA HE'S BAAAAAAAACKKKKK~
You have... No idea how frustrated I was to see that the first Beast cookie to release was Mystic Flour and not him. And while it's not guaranteed we'll get him this time, either (even if i really hope we do)... Come on, it's just nice to have him back. He's a really, really fun antagonist. Sometimes, when all your antagonists have complex motives, believing that despite everything they've done, ultimately they're the ones in the right (with even Dark Enchantress only committing as much harm as she has as a response to the revelation that the world, on a fundamental level, was seemingly much more cruel, uncaring and pointless than she had ever thought; a desperate need to make a difference, no matter how many lives and pain it takes), it's incredibly nice to have that one villain, that one villain who doesn't try to find an excuse for what they do, having fun, not believing that they're doing everything that they do for some greater motive, but just to have fun, to make the entire world one big, brightly burning play area for them to toy with as long as they want, however they want. I love Shadow Milk, because he perfectly offsets the usual monologuing, self-righteous villainy we tend to see (And often enjoy, don't get me wrong, both Dark Enchantress and Mystic Flour have grown one me) with just pure, uncaring, show-stopping villainy for the sake of villainy.
He's manipulative, playful, silly, over the top, more concerned with putting on a show first and foremost than actually accomplishing his objectives; because you and I both know that he knows that he could probably just brute force his way into getting his soul jam back, into taking down the heroes without any opportunity for them to do anything about it. If he wanted to, he could very, very easily create an unwinnable scenario. But he doesn't. Because that's no fun.
And I absolutely adore him for it. Every single scene he's in is an absolute delight.
... Right, uh. Wind Archer.
I'm excited for him! It's been a while since we've gotten any Ovenbreak legendaries, and with Wind Archer in the game, it means we're likely very close to seeing Fire Spirit and Millennial Tree (Both pretty big faves for me, though Millie is the one that does unholy things to my brain just from looking at him). And honestly, this feels like a really, really good use for him! No beating around the bush, no overcomplicating anything, just going straight to the point and trying to stop the current threat at its root. He's going to fail, obviously. Even if he takes out the ultimate cookie, chances are it can just be rebuilt, and the beasts on an individual level would be way too much for him to handle. And with Shadow Milk having awoken... Yeah, he stands just about no chance. But, it will be very fun to see, methinks. It's also just a pretty natural fit; a protector of nature that hunts down anything that may disturb or corrupt said nature being sent to strike down what's pretty much a threat that's entirely artificial, unnatural, bodies made through forbidden, arcane magic and ethically dubious means, stumbling upon the culmination of someone's ambitions to create perfect life by artificial means. It works out really, really well, methinks.
But yeah that's my thoughts so far on the 2 Wind Archer update trailers, I'm actually really excited for where they're gonna take this, we've actually got some good plot progression going on and a lot of interesting writing ideas that while I don't fully trust the devs to execute perfectly, I do still really like and feel pretty hopeful for!
... Now just give me Shadow Milk and Millennial Tree and my life is yours. And Lychee, maybe. That one might take a bit. how are they even gonna do Longan in Kingdom. that's... quite a lot to try to adapt without either rehashing content or completely hijacking the plot. god i hope this doesn't mean they'll just stop at Lotus. I miss my dragons. Except not really because OB has been doing some good stuff with them.
Sorry for the really long post, but I wanted to dump some thoughts and have a sort of primer for the kinda stuff I wanna make for this blog.
Oh, and expect some shitposts along the way, too.
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An Analysis: The Beast-Yeast Update + White Lily, AKA What Could’ve Been
Crossposted on the Youtube video of White Lily’s release in a fanatical comment. Will do the same here, only longer and more detailed, for the White Lily stans (around 5 total)
For the people who don’t get the lore and/or White Lily’s character, I made a very long explanation and analysis. (The Literature student in me couldn’t resist.) Scroll to the very bottom for short summary.
From what I can tell from this video, Whire Lily seems to have been in some sort of coma or unconscious state. This is likely because she fell into the Ultimate Dough and most of her consciousness was reincarnated into her “evil” form Dark Enchantress Cookie. However, the part of her that is pure and good is trapped in the glass coffin shown, and she’s trying to gather her essence to stay awake for as long as possible. She needs “life powder” to escape, so she can only remain in the coffin if no one else sacrifices themself. Faerie King did make the necessary sacrifice, thankfully, and she’s escaped with the intent of repenting for her sins as her alter ego, Dark Enchantress. Then, it’s revealed that an even darker and more dangerous force has awakened: Shadow Milk Cookie, the first Fallen Hero and Pute Vanilla’s counterpart. Seems like the Fallen Heroes are all counterparts to the Ancients. The Ancients and the Fallen Heroes have the same essence (Truth, Happiness, etc) but things went awry some time along the way, turning them evil.
Looking deeper into it, White Lily is a good example of “same goal, different choices, different story”. Perhaps she, like the Fallen Heroes, had the same fate, but she was at least able to preserve her last bits of goodness. She is my favorite Ancient because the conflict happens internally and not externally. Basically, she’s fighting another version of herself. And the interesting part is, it shows that anything can be “good” or “evil”. You could also say that she’s a morally gray character who could go either way, and this created 2 personas: White Lily and Dark Enchantress. You ever read an “Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence” fanfic? This is exactly what happened. Both of them want to seek the truth. It is only the actions they took (and will take) that differ, and what makes them so different from each other. It is why White Lily’s soul split into two. White Lily wants to seek the truth to help Cookiekind: improving stamina and attempting to bake a perfect Cookie, while Dark Enchantress has gone rogue in her quest for and obsession with the truth, firmly believing that Cookies are made to be eaten. It’s noted that this destroyed her character fundamentally, and is ultimately what turned her evil. I like to think that she herself was the reason behind her descent into madness and villainy, not the Ultimate Dough.
Back to the update. Did anyone notice that the Fallen Heroes each have their own corner, or nation, on the map of Beast-Yeast? If we look at the parallels between the Ancients and the Fallen Heroes, we can see a pattern: the Fallen Heroes are direct rivals of the Ancients. If I recall correctly, Pure Vanilla represents kindness, and sincerity (at least he does in my eyes). Shadow Milk is written as a trickster, as someone who likes pranks and doesn’t take anything seriously, the opposite of the genuine Pure Vanilla.
Also, I love PureLily. Don’t hate on PureCacao or anything. Just putting it out there that they were childhood friends turned almost lovers turned enemies to almost lovers again (?) in the coming update, and I’m really hyped. My favorite trope.
I’m honestly impressed that a Cookie gacha game has such intricate lore. Looking forward to this update a lot, the 3 year wait was worth it.
TL:DR: White Lily is in a glass coffin and needs Life Powder to get out. Faerie King sacrifices himself. Evil awakens in the tree as Faerie King’s magic is no longer active: aka Shadow Milk Cookie, first of the Fallen Heroes in the preview and counterpart to Pure Vanilla, similar to what Dark Enchantress is to White Lily.
#crk#cookie run kingdom#white lily cookie#purelily#pure vanilla cookie#analysis#cookie run analysis#sanest cookie run fan#yup. that’s me.#excuse my unhinged theories please
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Random question; what do you think of the new update; Shadow milk cookie?
To be completely honest, Beast Yeast Chapter 2 was good but at the same time, a little disappointing for me ε-(´∀`; )
(Putting a read more here because I know the story details are super new and don’t wanna spoil anyone accidentally.)
- Spoilers for Beast Yeast Episode 2 -
The ending with that amazing cutscene of White Lily outsmarting Shadow Milk was hype, I’ll not deny that. And Elder Faerie giving her that one bit of courage was very sweet too qwq
I think how Shadow Milk acts and what he does in the story has a lot to do with my disappointment with this part of the story. :0
When Shadow Milk was introduced with the other Beasts in the teaser vid, I was like oh shit, powerful mastermind character whose a jester, this is gonna be good. And so I was ready for him to really mess with the characters’ heads, either by unveiling some new truth or turn people against each other!
So when I read through this chapter, I realized I may have expected too much. ε-(´∀`; )
He messed with them alright, specifically Pure Vanilla, but instead of an experienced puppeteer, he came off more as… a sore loser :P I’m saying this as someone who like him, btw!!
I mean it makes sense, considering everything! His play gimmick was fun but felt more like Shadow Milk taking the opportunity to puff up his own ego and finally make fun of people. Which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that our heroes’ reaction to it was “Oh, don’t believe his lies! He likes to cause confusion and chaos! He takes the truth and covers it in lies!!”
Like…he’s not really lying, he’s just retelling the story in a way that makes him and his friends look good in the most blatant way possible. Like they act he’s manipulating them in some grand way when reasonably, them and us, the audience, know what’s truth anyways.
I hope this makes sense, I’m not great at explaining stuff ( ̄▽ ̄;) I just think the pure vanilla mental conflict was the closest to what I wanted to see for Shadow Milk but even that has some lost potential.
I think that’s a good way for me to summarize it- missed potential.
#bonsi talks#sorry I didn’t think I’d yap a lot about this (=´∀`)#cookie run kingdom spoilers#lemme just add rq that this ain't a serious criticism of the story and just how I feel about it! <:P if you like it then heck ye
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AN: My parents walked into my room midway of me making this and asked me what I was doing- 😰 Um... enjoy?
Part 2:
https://www.tumblr.com/shmolish/746719597375504384/hi-read-your-um-possessive-shadow-milk-x-reader?source=share
Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Reader
Oneshot (1/2)
Warnings: Suggestive scenes, marking, possessiveness, mild swearing. MINORS, DNI.
-Jealousy, jealousy-
You had been talking to someone new at the theater. They were naturally charming, and you couldn't help but laugh at their jokes, and smile at how they spoke.
He was obviously in love with you, but for some reason, you didn't notice.
Those hungry eyes should be obvious to anybody, though.
Little did you know, someone else had been watching the entire time.
A certain blue jester, gazing and silently hating from afar.
He knew he could make you laugh so much harder, smile so much wider... Make you feel so much better.
Surely you hadn't forgotten about him.. right?
If you did... he would just have to remind you.
You were finished talking to that person soon enough, and Shadow Milk took this as the perfect opportunity to reunite with you!
"Hello doll. Been having fun without me?" He had that normal smile on his face, like he always did. To any normal person, it would look like nothing was amiss...
But something was very wrong.. The fact that you were talking and smiling with somebody else. And the way he looked at you with those eyes- Shadow Milk Cookie absolutely despised it.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that." You would just smile awkwardly.
"Say... who exactly was he?" Shadow Milk would ask while taking your hand. He just started walking somewhere with you.
"Oh, just a guy I met today. He's pretty funny," you explained.
Shadow Milk nodded his head before quickly shoving both of you into a janitor closet.
"Ack, what are you-" Shadow Milk Cookie put a finger infront of your lips, promptly sushing you. His old smile was replaced with a more sinister and stern look.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He would take both of your hands and pin them above your head, and you could feel his breath on your neck as he moved closer to it.
"What is this for..?" You'd ask him, breath hitching as he sent butterfly kisses along the side of your neck.
"Doll, you're so oblivious that it hurts."
You could feel him begin to nip at the skin on your neck.
"You seriously didn't notice how he was looking at you?"
You would let out some quiet mewls before responding.
"I guess not-"
He bit down hard on your neck, to which you immediately whined at.
"Doll, you have to be quiet. I know you can take it~ And besides, you wouldn't want someone to hear us, right?" He would ask teasingly. You knew he had that shit-eating grin on his face.
You would shake your head and try your best to stay quiet.
"Struggling, are we? I don't see why. I've been much rougher with you before..."
He would continue sucking and biting at your neck, leaving you no time to rest.
"I guess it's entertaining though."
He moved his other free hand to slowly trail down your side, only stopping to be placed firmly around your waist. He pulled your bodies closer together, yet to him, it was never quiet close enough.
At this point, you were practically melted under his touch, and your legs were trembling.
He had told you time and time again to not be so loud... but it really couldn't be helped.
Purple and red bite marks were dotted all over you neck. There was no hiding all of them..
Shadow Milk would take his knee and nudge between your legs slightly.
"Dove, why don't we take this to the bedroom?
Fin ☆
Uh, if you guys want more, just request- 👀
#my parents would be so disappointed in me#why am I like this?#hes a cookie...#my friends think im werid#cookie run kingdom#crk#crk x reader#cookie run kingdom x reader#cookie run kingdom oneshot#oneshot#shadow milk cookie oneshots#shadow milk cookie crk#cookie run#shadow milk cookie cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie smut#shadow milk cookie#shadow milk cookie x reader oneshot#shadow milk cookie spicy#smut
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I have. A few things to say! First of all, thank you for writing for here (and there, but I do not have an AO3)! I’m very in much love with someone going crazy for another and *mwah* do you do it right and justice! That said, prioritize yourself! Drink water! Eat! Do not burn out, and do not feel pressured to do stuff! I hope that your spark burns for long after this fandom!
Thank you so, so much for your kind words! I know you sent multiple asks, so I'm going to try to respond to the first two in one post, if that's ok! (I'll answer the PitayaFire one separately)
Don't you know that the truest, most profound kind of love is born not beneath the soft, pale light of the full moon, not in the sound of a pair's steps as they dance the night away, not within the warmth and security of a tender embrace, but within the walls of the solitary confinement cell in the "dangerous and violent" housing section of a psych ward? LOL jk. It's really fun writing a lovesick/obsessed person for some reason. I don't have this dynamic for any of my other ships, this is the first time I've opted to explore a darker, more uncomfortable and unstable route/interpretation of a "relationship" and it's honestly been a blast lol. (I DO also ship mutual BurningCheese, but under specific conditions, AKA Burning Spice has a redemption arc and GC falls for him on her own. I just can't justify them being together if he's still evil. So long as he is, the love is one-sided)
I really am grateful for your compliments and encouragement. I've got a super big and important BurningCheese fic in the oven rn, but I do need to actually focus on real life for a bit, so it'll be some time. I'll be posting drabbles on here and a fic or two on AO3 where BS is NOT dangerously insane, just a regular asshole who's down bad lol
You can rest assured that my crazy diamond will continue shining on long after I get tired of these games about talking cookies. I always loved writing, it's my favorite hobby and it's my only way of expressing my creativity since I can't draw to save my life. I actually have a 100% original work I've been tinkering with for a loooong time, but I always wanted that story to be told in comic form, and to do that... I have to learn to draw lol. (And that's... a really big mountain to climb. I want to climb it more than anything, but I don't know if I can. Feels like I keep slipping and falling on my ass every time I try to take and retake the first step on the first rock, you know? Idk how anyone does it, honestly...) In any case, I'm truly grateful for you and everyone else who bothers to look at my work and actually thinks it's good for some reason
Did you see that gacha animation though 👀 The way BS is looking at her 👀 y'all can't tell me he ain't thirsty. Look at that twinkle in his eye. Look at that smile. He wants to tear up more than just those wings, I'm telling you 👀 Shadow Milk is a silly billy, he thinks puppet shows and gaslighting are how you flirt with people. Mystic Flour is probably just like "what. What is this. Who is this man. Why is he handsome. Why do I feel this way. Emotions are futile. Love is ephemeral. I will not stray from the path. I will trap him in my mind prison and torture him. That will fix it. He will surrender to apathy. He will return my soul jam. He will see how smart and correct I am. Cloud Haetae will sing my praises to him until he believes them. Yes. That is what will happen. Victory is mine. I am Very Normal about this." Burning Spice? Down horrendous. Down crazy. When GC is there, it's like no one else is in the room. Won't stop smiling. Only mentions the Soul Jam once, focuses on her specifically the whole rest of the time. First real thing he says to her is how much she impresses him. Throws a tantrum after their fight essentially because she didn't step on him hard enough. Down bad. Down bad. Down bad. Ain't no way he isn't. You can't change my mind
Sorry for rambling. TL;DR: Yo Socrates, it's a fucking cookie (also thank you for your support)
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🕯️xas many as you want. I love hearing this shit
(I will do several for each one. Separated by muse. Spoilered because long as hell.)
Dark Cacao
(Candy) "When the time comes, all will come to fruition and you and I will be enemies once more. Even though I am the keeper of your name, I cannot help but feel disheartened at this scenario and yet, I know it to be so certain in my mind. I try to put it aside... Yet, I feel it with dough-chilling certainty."
(Skyline) "Skyline, my boy. You have quite the future ahead of you. So much promise in one little cookie, fallen from the sky like a gift to all of Earthbread. I can only hope, that in your quest to find yourself that you never lose sight of who you truly are...no matter who that cookie may be." Burning Spice
(Candy) "Candy Eye Cookie... If only you could see that you are not meant for greatness. The goal of a monster is always the same, and a herald cannot be made of you. Ask me how I know this. But you could never, for that is the very thing you fear. Embracing yourself is your own worst fear and yet something you cannot deny. For a monster is a monster no matter what disguise they wear."
(Candy) "Even someone like you would shrink away at my touch. The touch of a cookie so fated to only crumble all that is in his hands. Can you not see, that I too have met failure and shame? Of COURSE it hurts, and it always will but running from that will always be a neigh impossible feat. It's best to embrace the darkness in your heart. It hurts far less to do so... It's best to bury it and move forward. More than anyone, I know there are pieces far too fractured of myself to put back together. You can never be that cookie in their eyes, Candy Eye Cookie. You can never make up for those transgressions, and they will always be a brand upon you, reminding you of all you've done. At times, I wonder if you hear it too? The voices of cookies long since perished by your hands, the wailing in the spice storms, the calling of the Licorice Sea...You feel the same too, don't you? Constant reminders of your failure. Of all you could never be. It hurts you too...doesn't it?"
(Skyline) "Truly, you have the blackened heart of a Great Destroyer! I cannot wait for you to carry on my legacy, and when the time comes we will see if I get my question answered. What would it take, to destroy me? Could it be YOU, perhaps?"
(Tainted Licorice) "You try so hard not to lick the bottoms of the shoes of others, but you have been doing that all along to my DEAR FRIEND Shadow Milk. In your pursuit of freedom you only adorned yourself in even MORE chains. How amusing!" Choco Werehound/Schwarzwalder
(To Candy)
"I've got to wonder, why you try so hard to keep what little humanity you got. Why are you so afraid of being one of us? Wear it with pride. I think Red Velvet Cookie said it best, cookies came up with the term monster as an insult, something to degrade us and separate us, to put us below them. Is that how you really feel? If so, I gotta say, I thought I had a subservient issue but you got me beat. I know I'm still on my own journey to find out who I am, and I hope one day you can too. Maybe then you can finally rest that pretty head, eh?"
(Skyline) "You got so much to learn, kid! But don't worry, Uncle Brute's gonna help you! I'll teach you what it means to be a monster, what the thrill of the fight and the love of jamshed can do you!"
"I know your mother's just trying to guard your heart, but trust me it hurts you more than helps you. In this world, you're going to see things you don't like, things that will haunt you forever if you're not ready for them. She should know that more than anyone but I think that's why she tries to save you from it. She doesn't want you to hurt like her... Sorry Candy, but he's gotta know for himself. You can't save anyone from reality."
(Licorice) "I want to protect you from all the pain you feel, and yet you hide things from me. Am I...not good enough to know them? Am I not good enough to stand on equal ground with you? Am I...just a cake monster to you after all?
"If you knew how I really felt, would it change anything? You're one of the few cookies who don't run away screaming when you see me. More than anyone, you accepted me. I don't even mind being your slave anymore...In fact, I feel at home being one to you. It feels weird NOT being your slave now. That might be complacency talking but so be it. I'm not willing to change that. Am I truly a slave, though? Sometimes I feel we're more friends, buddies with benefits...You think I'd be fine with that...but I want to much more. I can't help how I feel. I just want to be the one who takes away that pain, to protect you from anyone and anything that wants to hurt you. I want to dry your tears, to kiss them all away and hold you in my arms. I shouldn't want that. I know it's taboo for someone like me to want those things from you...Guess I'm taboo, then. Guess I'm a bug, dumb brute for wanting a stupid, flat cookie to love me...if only you knew what you did to me, what you make me want to do to you... I know you gave me an option but I could never leave you. I could never not protect you. I belong to you...and I want you to belong to me."
(Tainted Licorice) "What made you agree with me? To think you too are born evil? I know you seem righteous in your convictions but...that's never been the Licorice I knew. He always had some good in his heart. He was never...truly evil. Just hurt and misunderstood. When you love someone, you love their cracks and flaws...but I can't help but wonder if this is all a symptom of something so much greater. Who broke you so bad to make you choose this path? I feel like you're scared, but you won't tell me that. I know you better than that. You always wanted to be tough to me. You always wanted to be strong...but, I know the truth. I never cared if you were or not. You want to lead, but the truth is you need someone to lean on, to rely on. Your foundation is made of salt and your crown is a bunch of rotting thorns. A true leader has to stand on their own, I gotta ask if you can like this? You assure me you can, but I have doubt in my heart. Forgive me, my love. And still, despite this, I'll follow you because in the end, there's gotta be someone to catch you when you fall and these strong arms are waiting for you when that happens. In the end it's you and me against the world, and even if we crumble to bits I'll make sure it's in each other's arms."
#muse: schwarzwälder#muse: dark cacao#muse: burning spice cookie#earthbreadandtendrils#written in the scrolls
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One Quiet Moment
(Decided to take a crack at my own tale from the eyes of Sugar Globe Cookie, based on the work of the brilliant @brittle-doughie. CW: Implied self-deletion) ...If you're reading this, Cookiekind as we know it is extinct.
A few weeks ago, one of my old comrades breached their prison. Looking him in the eye felt weird, I must say. Seeing him in such deranged joy as opposed to me just feeling nothing but disappointment... it's truly jarring. My allies and I tried to fight him off, but it went wrong. It went so, so terribly wrong.
Pure Vanilla was the first to perish. Seeing him be bound in those strings and torn apart just like that was one of most gut-wrenching things I've ever witnessed. I'll never forget the wail I heard from White Lily at the sight of it before she too was strung up and dismembered before us. Next was Elder Faerie... that man had guts, I'm telling you. The Brave Gang was about to be annihilated before he jumped in and took the full brunt of the assault for them. Nothing remained of him after that... and it didn't even matter.
Have you ever had to hold a kid in your arms in their last moments? Because that's what I had to do with Gingerbrave. Poor kid was laying there, bleeding out, and he thought I was the one who needed the emotional support. He told me not to worry, and that even if we couldn't defeat the Beasts, he was sure there'd be someone out there who could see the world through. He uttered those words to me, took one last breath and... that was it.
And then Shadow Milk managed to free the other four.
It's quiet now. Nothing but the trees over my head rustling like the whispers of what once was. Occasionally, I find the crumb piles of those who I fought alongside, left there by the others like broken toys. I always make sure they're given as proper of a burial as they can have. I've searched all the other kingdoms I can find, hoping against hope that at least someone is out there... but I've yet to find anyone. What I did find on one trip, though, has just... broken me.
The forge hammer of the one I held dearest to me. Sometimes, as I look at it, I hear her hearty laughter brush past my ear... though that's most likely just the trees again. It's a miracle that I've even been able to go out on these searches anyway. You try going on search missions while five all-powerful Cookies are constantly breathing down your neck, like that one drunken flirt at a party you refuse to talk to.
First, Silent Salt Cookie. Likely the least unhinged of the five, but that's not saying a whole lot. They act as a bodyguard of sorts around me, not even letting a dust particle brush past me without swatting it away. I've tried to convince them to at least leave me be... but come on, like that'd ever work.
...Would it be strange to say that I'd find consolation in someone hating my guts in these times? Because I was certain that's how Burning Spice Cookie felt about me before all this went down... but no. They're just as ridiculously in love with me as the others are. Really should've seen that coming, huh?
Turns out, Mystic Flour Cookie actually spared a select group of Cookies. Great, right!? No. She did it purely so she could threaten and indoctrinate them into forming a cult for me. Attempts have been made to dismantle this cult and save those in it. All of them have failed.
Shadow Milk Cookie. For the love of the Sugar Swan, when will this little rat leave me alone? He's always dragging me into his little shows, and they're all the exact same; "Oh, look at us, we're soooo much better than the Cookies we've slaughtered, including your GIRLFRIEND!!". Never have I wanted to punch someone more than him.
...And then there's Eternal Sugar Cookie. Good. GOD. If I'd known what that twitching ball of madness was gonna do to my family, I'd have jumped back into the arms of White Lily or Black Pearl in a heartbeat in order to ensure my own safety. I don't even wanna write down the things she's done to me here, just know it's BAD.
I've tried to escape sometimes, y'know? Ascend to the clouds where I could find my loved ones again, apologise, try and make amends, and I've actually succeeded in the past... if only for a few minutes. Then I'm dragged right back down to the barren hell I tried to run away from. They won't even let me die. I guess that's why I'm writing this down. Because I'm one step away from snapping, and I have to vent somehow. So here I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you all, I'm sorry that this is how it's all ended, and I'm sorry I can't be there to apologise to your faces. Maybe one day, we'll all get to meet again in an uncorrupted world, but for now... this is it for us.
This is it for me.
~ Sugar Globe Cookie.
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