#I say I’ve been busy and I have bc school started last week

[jackinalex]

Why do you think Alex has been the only one doing the small radio acoustic shows in the last year? (unless Jack inserts himself 😂) It feels so weird to watch him there alone and not having anyone to interact with. I miss the small acoustic shows with just the 4 or 3 of them they always used to do. I miss Zack’s harmonies and Jack’s silliness in them. There’s a new video from 101x on yt btw.

I truly do not know. I wasn’t even aware he was still doing those very often. It made sense during the pandemic, but not really now. Then again, I’m very often out of the loop and I’ve been so busy the last couple weeks. I love Zack’s harmonies and Jack’s silliness, too, though. Those things are part of what makes the band the band, you know?

[steviescrystals]

ignore this post i’m just whining again

[moochalove]

Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)

(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)

Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!

Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)

word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️

proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶

TW: Stockholm syndrome

Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..

Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.

You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.

You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!

•

•

•

Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.

Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.

They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!

Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more

From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.

“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.

“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“

“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”

“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”

Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?

“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”

•

•

•

Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.

If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it’s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.

Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.

Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.

“Isn’t the food here the best?”

Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.

“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…

Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.

She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.

He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.

A hand is gently wipes your tears away,

“It’s time to go, Y/n.”

“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“

“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.

Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.

Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.

A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.

You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.

Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.

Final Part:

When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.

“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”

Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.

Now you remember him!

“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.

But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.

After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.

“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”

Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.

With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.

“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.

A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.

It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….

After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.

Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-

“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”

You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“

Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.

Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”

All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”

He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.

Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.

Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”

•

•

•

The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.

You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...

Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.

Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area

On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.

Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.

Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.

You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.

It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.

Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up 😍😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!

♡ taglist: @swivy123

[darlin-djarin]

Hiya! I've been lowkey stalking ur blog for the last few weeks bcs i recently got rllllllly into dinluke and saw ur recent post about fic, so now I'm wondering if you have any reccs (dinluke ofc)?! I like ur content and read ur tags so I'd say our taste in fic probably overlaps. Hope you have a nice day!! 🌻

hey!! and yeah i’ve got a few fics that i think a lot of dinlukers might like

first let me link @transmascskywalker's list because that’s where i started out originally!!

now as for my fic recs~

some of these fics might overlap, i’m just putting down the ones i loved most. i’m sure i’ve read tons more but these are the ones i found that you can busy yourself with :)

The Storm by shirozora

Din Djarin needs a new ship.

Greef Karga makes him a deal - do some work for the guild and he'll get a brand new gunship. One such job takes him to a planet with a volatile storm system to track down a double-crossing bounty hunter. What he doesn't know is that the bounty hunter is there to loot an ancient Jedi temple. What neither of them know is that someone else is also on the planet searching for the temple.

And then the storm rolls in.

in-universe

sfw

multichapter/parts

my comfort fic btw ^^ i’ve read it so many times

Mystery Man by snapdragonpop007

Luke is seeing someone, apparently.

And really, it’s none of Anakin’s business.

Really.

modern au

sfw

multichapter/parts

one of the best, funniest fics i’ve ever read ^^

Unfold by SilverScriptings

Han can’t help but be suspicious of a certain Mandalorian who’s been spending an awful lot of time at the Jedi Temple…

in-universe

sfw

multichapter/parts

A Little Farther Down the Line by Chromat1cs

Austin, Texas, 1973. Din Djarin plays the guitar, worries about his kid, and runs aimlessly from a past that pulled the roof down around his ears. When a stunningly-talented duo of up-and-coming performers turns Din’s plans of being a simple session musician clear on their head, Din must decide between the safety of mundanity or the unlooked-at thrill of following his heart lest the tape run out on this track of his life before he’s through recording it.

modern (1970’s) au

nsfw

multichapter

the warmest bed i’ve ever known by ceedawks

pre-original series, din djarin is injured on a remote planet and found by an incessantly chatty farm boy named luke skywalker || i won't ask you to wait, if you don't ask me to stay || aka "making out with hot farm boys doesn't count as breaking the creed if he's blindfolded during it".

pre-ANH/meet on tatooine au (in-universe)

nsfw

multichapter

We Two Scorched the Earth by annathaema (moony)

That left Luke with a much bigger problem: The Sand People knew he was here, they’d likely sabotaged or stolen the speeder by now, and he was stranded in a cave with nothing but a rifle with three rounds left, a survival pack good for only a couple of days, and no transport home. Great. Luke leaned against the wall of the cave and tipped his head back, thumping the back of it against the stone over and over. He closed his eyes and wished for rescue.

Someone groaned.

pre-ANH/meet on tatooine au (in-universe)

nsfw

oneshot

Never leaving well enough alone by DarkIsRising

or Five Times Din and Luke Met (and one time they never parted)

He’s drunk, and he isn’t quite sure how that happened. That’s not true, Luke does remember vaguely how it happened, more or less, and it all started with Han.

in-universe

nsfw

multichapter

Yoda’s Academy for Li’l Padawans by MissDinahDarling

Being a new student is hard.

Being a new student whilst your socially awkward father avoids the school at all costs and your new teacher pines uselessly over a man he’s never met before is even worse.

But by god, Grogu is gonna get through this.

modern au

sfw

multichapter

Just Like Heaven by Kushana

At first, he watches.

Then, he touches.

in-universe

sfw (both aroace ^^)

oneshot

Romance As a Series of Debacles by The SexierEvilerCora

Han stumbles on a golden opportunity to make life difficult for Boba Fett, and drags Luke along as backup to crash a Mandalorian party.

Things do not go as planned for anyone involved.

modern au

nsfw

it’s unfinished with only one chapter but it’s still worth the read

Honey Lemon Popsicle by coffeecatsme

“Good morning,” Luke chirps, not even looking up from the stove, “my honey bunches of oats.”

Din blinks several times, trying to get his muscles to unfreeze, and opens his mouth.

Then closes it.

Then opens it again. “What did you just call me?”

5 times Luke calls Din increasingly weird pet names, and 1 time he finds out Din likes it.

modern au

sfw

oneshot

Restraint and Relaxation by Aureutr_Accoredge

Queen Amidala is sick of watching her son run himself ragged for every good cause he finds. When he collapses at his sister's engagement gala, it is the last straw.

Luke balks, so she summons one of her Mandalorian Knights to take him to the family's lakeside villa to make him rest.

By any means necessary

in-universe

nsfw

oneshot (v good ^^)

these are all the ones i recommend for now! i’ve read other really good fics, but these ones ^^ are the ones i’ve found myself return to at least one way or the other.

please let me know if you're looking for something more specific as well!! i'll do my best to find something for your tastes

[tiredmamaissy]

i had the question about relationships…or situationship, whatever tf this is.

i’ve liked this guy for a few months now (let’s call him pineapple) we both attend the same school, but we have completely different classes. i only get to see him when i’m walking on campus after my last class. anyway, i have a really close friend…i’ll call her coconut; i told coconut i liked pineapple and she encouraged me to talk to him but i’m was too afraid to do so. it took a lot of her convincing me and pushing me to finally muster up the courage to say something to him, and it honestly didn’t go THAT bad. he wasn’t the most enthusiastic person in the world but he was still nice. assuming that i randomly approached him while he was working out would make sense as to why he was a bit caught off guard but yeah! it was a short conversation. i made up an excuse that he looked really fit and i basically asked if he had any tips on growing glutes, n you know…he gave me tips i guess.

that was about 2 weeks ago. we quickly became friends after that short conversation as i s realized him and i shared some friends. (not sure how i didn’t realize it but yeah). he quickly started inviting me to hang out with his friends and it was honestly great. though i’m a naturally timid and lowkey awkward person, i had fun hanging with him. his friends are literally ALL boys but they’re nice guys! besides some of them making uncomfortable sexual jokes about us two, it’s cool ig…(?).

that’s just some background info so i don’t blindly go into the difficult part of our “relationship”. he’s a fuckboy. like big time. i only had to spend a few days with him to realize how easy he was. went to a party WITH him and ended up leaving WITHOUT him because he was too busy getting his dick sucked by some random girl who pulled up mid-party…but i still like him? i genuinely can’t shake the feelings i have for him. he’s been nothing but kind to me. he buys me things, makes me laugh, makes me smile, all of the above….he just sleeps around…with a lot of girls…while also treating me like his girlfriend. or does he treat me like his girlfriend? i dunno if i’m just delusional. his friends refer to me as pineapples “girl” so i kind of assumed we had a little something going. maybe i am reading this wrong.

i don’t know where i’m going with this. i just want to know if you think i’m wasting my time. does he like me? i hope so…i think so…but it doesn’t stop him from having sex with other girls.

im nearing a point of just pinning him down and screaming how i feel at him. i just want him to know how strong my feelings are, how deep they run, how much i care for him, how much i admire him. i dunno. what do you think, issy?

Thank you for sharing this with me (and us), and I wish you could see my face rn 😭 I would like to say that you don’t have to listen to anything I’m about to say ofc, what you decide to do is completely up to you!

I would say talk to him. Sounds cliche but there’s definitely a lot of uncertainty about the relationship. The biggest being - are you in a romantic relationship or not? And if so, what are the boundaries of the relationship? Is it open? Does he value monogamy? Do you? You would need to sit down and ask yourself what your values and expectations are regarding intimate relationships. The fact that he went with you to a party and left without you bc he was with another person is disrespectful to you (to say the least) despite the relationship status.. so I’m sorry that happened to you.

If he’s openly engaging intimately with other people, I’d say it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t see the relationship as something ‘official’. But at the same time, he’s engaging in relationship-like things w/ you. Which is why you’re confused. Mixed signals. Which is so unfair to you. And the only way to clarify things is to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about.. everything. And from there you’ll be in a better position to not only answer your own questions, but to make a well informed decision about where you want to go from here

Wish you nothing but the best. 💖

[barmadumet]

Tag game to better know you

Thanks for the tag @thetorontokid ❤️ This feels very aol 1998 and I love it!!

What book are you currently reading?

Nothing 🫣 I started Brotherhood and never finished it if that counts as “currently reading.” I will finish it when time allows!

What's your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I don’t think I’ve been to the moves since TROS 😂

What do you usually wear?

LOTS of t-shirts of all different sizes depending on mood. And they’re worn with jeans, cargos, or skirts. Love a good kimono to dress it all up.

How tall are you?

5'4"

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Scorpio ♏️ I have the same birthday as Ming-Na Wen! Which is fun, bc Star Wars, but also bc I was obsessed with Mulan when it came out and all through my teen years… so much so that I put a dragon on my class ring instead of the school mascot like a normal girl 😂

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Nickname here (Barma) and a different nickname irl.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I was supposed to be an unwed psychologist with 4 cats. None of those happened 😂 (I have always had strange ambitions 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

See above lol - Married! 💍

What's something you're good at vs. something you're bad at?

I’m good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. I can find sympathy for ANYONE even if popular opinion says it isn’t deserved. I’m always looking for the reasoning behind a person’s actions and am quick to defend.

I am very bad at taking criticism, so much so that I’ll avoid putting myself out there at the risk of negative feedback. I am a perfectionist, and I’m bad a failing! I’d rather not even try than run the risk of failure. This online persona has helped with that tho 😊 Barma is less afraid 💪

Dogs or cats?

See above lmao - Cats! 🐈

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Idk if my writing counts since the chapters I’ve put out so far this year were originally written last year or the year before… so I’ll say my Valentines obikin photo session 😃

What's something you'd like to create content for?

I just want to keep doing the obikin thing, because it makes me happy. Fingers crossed for new story ideas after the current WIP wraps. 🤞

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

Well, it’s always going to be Star Wars, but specifically rn, I’m finding a renewed appreciation for Boga🦎 It’s a whole healing process thing.

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

2023 is still young! I am excited about May 4th this week, finishing my fic in July, and my road trip to get a tattoo to commemorate it. REALLY hoping none of those will be disappointing.

What's a hidden talent of yours?

Financial planning/advising. No, it’s not what I do for a living, but I’ve often helped friends, family, and even businesses with creating budgets, debt consolidation, and all that good stuff. Maybe it’s what I should be doing for a living, but that whole fear of failing thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you religious?

I can’t not be. I’ve experienced way too much 🕊️

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

WELLNESS! I’ve been sick for over a week now.

I want to tag everyone! So if you see this, and want to do it, please do! But here’s a handful of friends bc I like to follow protocol 😂

@kana7o @unspuncreature @justaminion @wibzen87 @tunglo NO PRESSURE!

[renjunluvr119]

I’ve always lived for my family never myself. Was gonna die at 16 but wait the family who left you in the system needs help paying bills. So you say okay i will get a full time job and help. But no actually they are buying drugs with said money. Or when you get kicked out of your adoptive home at 18 bc you’re friends were drinking but you weren’t but they wont listen bc you come from a family of addicts. So at 18 you think okay maybe now but then you move in with your birth family bc the older sister you protected in foster care is now pregnant so you move in to take care of her. You raise her kid, she parties, she gets pregnant again and the cycle repeats. All the while you are taking care of your other niece bc her mother is too busy doing drugs and men. To the point where she calls you mother. You get accepted into college finally. How exciting oh but no you must drop out care for them. Then you are 20. You get evicted bc even tho you were giving money to pay bills they weren’t. You move in with a fiend for 3 months when you come back they have lost your niece to the system. This is your fault. Not theirs. Your sister is pregnant again you are working 2 full time jobs while being a full time student to keep your aid. Something has to give. So you drop out again. You are 22 she finally leaves but no now your oldest sister needs somewhere to live. She doesn’t work and she doesn’t clean or help at all but yet she complains. All the while your mother is there latched to you like a leech draining anything you have to give. You almost kill your self get locked away oh but now they have no money you must cut your stay short so you can provide. You are 24 your grandmother moves in from the nursing home bc she wants to be with family. Your sister says she will care for her you don’t have to worry. This is a lie. You are now here primary caregiver. You switch two a weekend job so you can care for her, the only thing you ask of your sister is to care for her on those days as you are working 12 hour night shifts. She cannot as she also has a job. It is October she has lost her job and is going on vacation. You sit and think you almost relapse you almost off yourself. You don’t only bc who will take care of your grandmother. She has done nothing wrong but give birth to your line. She was the one taking care of everyone for years. Now it is your turn. Has been since you were 16. Your sister tells you she is pregnant. There is no room for a child she does not have a job. She can do nothing to help with grandma or the house bc of the baby. You find yourself wishing she doesn’t come to term. You can’t be a mother for the 5th time when you’ve never given birth. You think does this make you a horrible person. Who knows you have long lost the idea of emotions. You have a mega fight you feel nothing the whole time as you try to argue your point. You talk level, she yells over you. You start to remember you turn 25 in December. You had plans to finally give up to finally let them handle to yourself, when your grandmother moved in you decided not too. But this reminds you for what? For why? Maybe i shall stick to my plans. I do nothing for them anyways? Surely she will be fine after i die. But who know i will not be here to see it. Ah December a wonderful month for me. When i was born, when i was taken into the system, when i became a mother to my sisters child. When she got out of jail and everyone forgot about my birthday, the month i spent alone working 10 hour days every day to pay bills and care for them in jail while leaving myself with 100 dollars for two weeks to eat and have gas and essentials, the month i got kicked out from my adoptive family and when i had to drop school. Fitting it should be the month to give me my last big hoorah. But you know… better luck next time i suppose

[thepixelelf]

hiii thank you for the advice ursa!! as for the situation I’ll tell you about it.

It’s about my older sister more than anyone else in my family. When I say like I have to work my schedule even life around hers I truly do mean it. I basically didn’t get to choose the program of study i originally wanted bc it was an hour away and since she was going to start her externship before I did, she thought it was inconvenient for me to do that bc she needs someone to drop off & pick up my nephew from school. This part I get a bit yk but it’s just unfair to me bc now I’m being forced to study something I didn’t want in the first place. I talked to her about this before but she always says the same thing “it’s too far I think you should stick to the program that’s 20 minutes away instead.” This is a huge reason why I don’t want to/ I’m scared to speak up for myself bc I feel like my feelings don’t matter. And not to mention I’ve been putting off all of the perquisite courses that I have to take in person because of her as well. I could’ve been done with my prereqs a year ago if it wasn’t for her. She thinks my school is far from our house (it’s only like 20 minutes away) but it’s inconvenient for her bc she wants me to take care of my nephew all the time. I’m not even kidding sometimes she’ll go out w my brother in law for hours and she’ll leave my nephew w me. In the rare cases she does take him w her as soon as they get home she’ll make a comment somewhere along the line of “it’s your turn to watch him” like wdym he’s not my child?!!

For the part of my homework, I don’t put off family time just for homework if anything it’s the complete opposite. I usually always put off doing homework because someone needs something and in most cases it’s my older sister. This past May I was really busy doing homework bc it was the last few weeks of school. she would make snarky comments like “you’re doing homework AGAIN” or “oh here we go again, we’re just gonna see you on your laptop all day.” Mind you these were assignments I couldn’t put off. I had 2 papers worth like half of my grade and on top of that a presentation for another class and I also had to study for final exams. Her problem is that she depends on me too much to help her with my nephew. I love him more than anything but sometimes I can’t even enjoy my days or even vacation bc she constantly wants me to watch him. I swear to you there’s times when I take care of him more than she does in a week.

I could keep going on and on about this but they’re all similar situations just in different ways. I guess what I’m saying is that I of course want to have a conversation with her about it but I know she’s going to find a way to turn this on me. If not she’s going to make me feel guilty about even bringing anything up (I know this from past experiences). It’s a very difficult situation and I wish I would stop worrying so much about her feelings instead of mine.

I’m so exhausted and mentally drained but I truly do appreciate you helping me out with this ursa, it means so much. 🩷

I am saying this completely genuinely: switch to your first choice program of study. It is doing no one any good if you are studying something you don't like when you could have an academic career you DO want. If it's possible to make the switch (and I mean possible as in your school lets you, not whether anyone else thinks you shouldn't) I say do it. Better to make the change now rather than regret an entire degree later. To be able to get post secondary education is already an incredible opportunity, and you should be allowed to use it to study what YOU want to study. It's YOUR future, not anyone else's.

If you have trouble justifying/explaining to your family/sister, I'd suggest talking about it like this:

(Using my program/career as a placeholder)

“If I'm going to be a [professional stage manager], then I need to go to this university/college/school and take this [technical theatre stage management] program that they offer.” And back it up with, “This is the field of study I want to work in, and I won't have the career I want if I'm doing the program that is ‘more convenient’.” 

Obviously that alone isn't enough but I can assure you that you can and should take the study program you want to take. Look into what it would be like to transit daily to that 1 hour away school, and at the same time look into dormitories/roommates/on and off campus living for that school. 1 hour away is actually pretty significant, BUT worth it in the long run if you do the work to find what is viable for you.

Please know that I am open to continuing talking with you about this bc I understand that it's not always easy to stand up for yourself (especially in cases of family) and this post might not be enough to fully convince you. I just really think you deserve better and I want you to live the life you wanna live!!

Also— your 4 year old nephew is not your responsibility! As a 22 year old aunt, being available to pick up your nephew from school if one of his parents were suddenly unavailable would be a normal level of favour to do for your sister. Picking him up from school every single day is not. Yes, a 4yo can't be left alone, but either your 28yo sister or 30yo brother in law need to be able to take care of that!!!!! THEY chose to be parents so THEY need to take responsibility. Either they have to figure out a way to pick him up, or they can look into a daycare service or babysitters. You are not a free babysitter!

I understand that living with them gives way to a different dynamic, but think about it this way: if you had 0% input on whether or not this child was going to exist, then you take 0% responsibility for their care. Of course you can offer to help watch this child from time to time, but it never was and never should have been your duty!! Like it's honestly ridiculous for these two grown adults to expect you to watch their child that often! You are still so young!!!!!!!! 22 is legally an adult yes but like!! Barely!!! You're still in school and have so much ahead of you and ugh!!! This made me heated!!

I think a huge part of this is that you need to start believing that your feelings matter, anon, because they really do. Tell anyone else about your situation and they'll tell you the same thing I am. You matter!

[1d1195]

Sam! The newest part of Most was EVERYTHING!! Now you know absolutely LOVED Lauren getting publicly embarrassed by Harry calling her out like that! I swear I was so happy knowing that she finally got exposed and she technically exposed herself lol I do think it was so right for Harry being the one to find out because I fear the MC would have just been too nice to her lol but also I think it gives him some closure? Idk if that’s the right word but I think it helps fill in some gaps for that time of the breakup. ANYWAYS loved reading that lol

Now you have been putting this couple through so much but honestly I love it! Harry was literally in shambles while driving to her apartment and he had to find out she was TRAPPED IN HER BUILDING THATS ONE FIRE?!? And she DIDNT REALIZE IT?!? I would start crying ngl if I was in his position lol I was so invested when reading the last half especially when she dropped her love confession as almost a goodbye?! I’m so excited to see how their story will be wrapped up! They are so in love I can’t! So so good bestie as always you’re killing it with these stories!

Also sorry it took so long to reply back! Had such a busy week and I’m just so tired lol my summer classes end in 3 ish weeks so this upcoming week are my midterms(so crazy 😔)! Idk when fall classes start exactly but I think the last week of September maybe? Idk I’m avoiding knowing it lol and don’t be sorry for asking questions! I love questions! I commute to school so I’ve never lived on campus. I live with my parents still so it has its pros and cons lol

Though I’m so surprised you almost start your school year again?? Idk if I’ve just lost the concept of time but I thought you still had a pretty good chunk left of summer break for you?! I can only imagine how hard it is to be “on” all the time especially as a teacher and I hope that you do set goals for not overwhelming/working yourself this year! I just know you can do it my love because you are so important! Always rooting for you💗

I LOVE that you’re having some free time to read! And honestly some smut/romance books are needed sometimes so I don’t blame you for gobbling them up! Anything that you come up for Monday I’m sure it will be great even if it’s sad lol and a check in is always nice! I love to see how the couples are doing! I was just thinking about the Zipper couple bc I saw a horse drawn carriage yesterday when I went out lol and I LOVE YOUR RAMBLING!!! I could never get tired of it or you!! Love little updates on the life of Sam lol

Hope this weekend treats you well and sending the best vibes! Love you lots!!!-💜

Hi!!!! I have been dying for Harry to figure it out. I know it took a while but I hope it was kind of worth the wait. It's funny you say that about the MC finding out 👀 It def gives him closure. I'm so glad to be done with Lauren. (Although I'm sure I'm going to have to write an extra about her running into Lauren hehehe)

I just LOVE to have drama and make Harry stress out when I write 🤭🤭 There's something DEFINITELY wrong with me its in all my romance books basically. I'm just a sucker for a protective guy getting all worried about his lady 😅 HE DEF was SOBBING. I think I wrote he was crying but it was subtle because I had to make sure he could still see but maybe that's the next part hahahahaha but in my head he was a blubbering mess 🤭 This part was SO short when I originally wrote it. I know it's pretty dialogue heavy and I just couldn't figure out how to make it any longer so I just kept throwing stuff in and I was like "she should just tell him. It's pretty obvious anyway."

I am so appreciative of your compliments as always 💕

Please don't apologize! I bet you're exhausted! 3 weeks seems like forever. That's interesting you start toward the end of September. There's NOTHING wrong with living at home and commuting. I have an apartment and I love my bf but I would move back home to my INSANE family in a heartbeat if it meant I could save more money 😅 I was lucky to live on campus because of scholarships and stuff but even still I was only an hour away from home if I needed anything and after my first year I had my car with me.

I have one more full week off but I've been SO busy I feel like I didn't really get a break :( idk. I know people complain about teachers having all this time off but it goes quick and shoving all the things you need to do into it is difficult. I haven't even seen like half of my friends that I wanted to see which I normally budget my time off with. The thought of meeting up with them is exhausting and as I've mentioned before I always do the reaching out so that's exhausting in it's own right. I think I will likely have to book myself into September and hang out with them at that time.

I actually reread parts of Zipper the other day 😭 I think they probably rotate through my top 3 couples and stories. But what's a little sad is I would love to write more about them, but I think they might be done. I feel (hope) I wrote a really solid ending for them and I could write about their kids or whatever but idk if that's worth it. I like to think of them as all wrapped up--zipped closed, if you will. 🤭

LOVE YOU hope your weekend allows you some time to yourself and your midterms are easy peasy 💕

xoxo

[holdinbacksecrets]

well, things have been weird... I think depression and anxiety has been hitting me hard this past week to the point of like chest pain, i think I'm very familiar with heartache lmao. I'm a senior now, finally made it to year 6 in med school, and currently in my first rotation, i don't know how to feel about that other than fear of my own incompetence and failure to compensate for it because I'm just so exhausted..

As for writing, i haven't done any for like close to at least 1 year, nothing, even poetry has been sparse, maybe max of 3 this whole year. It's like slow torture... it's like the first death described in black swan. I've been trying to plan a novel, but all i have is Pinterest boards for characters and a main idea of a plot and it doesn't seem that this year I'll be able to give it time because it's hectic and important and i also have my damn research on thalassemia patient's quality of life and whatnot.

Loneliness is suffocating as well, I don't know what to do with it, i blame it on adulthood and maturity, hell im 23 yet i feel like i have the loneliness of a vampire watching every loved one fade. there's not much to do about it. everyone's busy and i hate human connection as much as i crave it.

I thought by now you'd have relocated btw because it's been a while that you've been talking about it, also didn't you go back for masters or is my timeline of events wrong cuz trust me I don't even remember my name these days

hi friend 🤍

i’m sorry about the anxiety and depression. i certainly understand how hard both are to deal with. anything you can do to get even a little bit of relief? is therapy an option for you?

congratulations on making it to your senior year! that’s a wonderful accomplishment! i watch a few med student youtubers, and i’m so impressed by everything that you all do. it’s a fuck ton of work. is school a major catalyst for the anxiety and depression for you or more so other things you mentioned like human connection/loneliness? everything?

even if your plans for the book aren’t as far along as you were hoping they’d be, i still think it’s really cool that there are ideas dancing around in your head. they won’t just disappear either, so you can always dive back in when it feels right and the writing is coming. you’ll have to keep me updated on this. i feel you on the writing thing. i’ve finally been able to do some writing again after months of shitty work, but the longer it’s missing, the crazier us writers feel. i hope it comes back to you sooner rather than later. a year is a long time. idk if i’d ever write without music. it’s such a huge source of inspiration for me.

oh god… the loneliness. i’m so touch starved that i don’t know what to do with myself. a huge part of me wishes i could erase my dating experience last year bc absences following what that little supernova gave me are apparent as hell. i feel like my isolation from covid never really ended, and i’m still trying to move out of it and form friendships in closer proximity. hating human connection and craving it at the same time—felt. i consistently feel like i have to be a better version of myself first, but will i ever meet a version i’m satisfied with? there are always mental hurdles to navigate. do you have any friends in your med school program?

your last paragraph pierced my heart a little bit bc i too thought i’d be in a different city by now. i lasted in my grad program for three months. it was horrible. i took a class last summer, and i knew pretty early on that it was the wrong choice, but i still started the fall semester. i wanted to give it a sincere shot and not make a rash decision (i convinced myself it was rash but it was really my gut saying important things lol). maybe in the future i’ll go back to school and do something completely different. i kind of want to get an english degree, but the idea of doing another bachelor’s feels strange. i wanted to double major originally but didn’t. for now, i’m working a remote job i hate and constantly job searching for something else. i’m passionate about community engagement work and environmental justice, hoping i’ll find something. i still want to move to chicago. i’ll be there in september, and i’m hoping my time there will solidify feelings and desires about relocating.

[steviescrystals]

sorry i’m actually not done this is my diary now

i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

[bbael]

hiii 🖤 i missed u,,, I’ve wanted pop by and say hello for so long now and always think of you <3 but i have been generally dead to the world for a little while now sdjsdjsdj im fine tho !! but life has just been beating my ass fr these last couple months 💀

anywho !! here i am using my last ounce of energy to lovingly scribe you a message, written in my own fair blood of course, on an ancient parchment,,, but the little bat i paid (in beetles) to deliver you my letter got lost; so im forced to type my message to u here instead, which will have to do 🙄 (sillyness)

but how have u been dearie!! i myself have not been up to much during my expiring, but the sun has started to come out again, and the bluebells where i live have started to bloom, and my pet doggy is loving to sunbathe, so those things are good. i saw a concert too the other month and have another booked for next year ! and am contemplating booking einstürzende neubaten for later this year, but i genuinely have nobody to go with that could stand it 😭

as always and forever, love u lots, and hope you have been well,, i feel so bad for not messaging for so long now, but please know i have thought of you every day 🖤 sending many of hugs, & till later my dear !! 🖤

Hiii oh my god, getting this ask a couple weeks(?) ago was such a relief hon because I was starting to think you were actually dead, like not even kidding I was concerned 😭 so good to hear that at the very least u lived and are well enough to make it to here my humble ask box.....

Literally praying for the bat bc girl is he okay :((

But I'm glad over your side of the world things are getting warmer, I yearn for the sun as much as your doggy might tbh :(. (Puppy sunbathing is such a wonderful visual too omg...)

Hope you're spending lots of time outside and making the most of it! Here's cooling down pretty fast and I'm shivering 24/7, I hate it and hate being bundled up in 500 layers >_<.

I can't believe you have the chance to see EN this year omg... I would so go with you 🥹🖤 ur hanging out with the wrong ppl hon..... I hope u can still go though, live my dream please~

& how are you now?? You still half-dead and busy or already doing better? 🥺 I need more updates, felt like forever truly..

My life has not been super exciting either....

Idk if i got to tell you about my latest development which was that a while ago I started working as a prof, finally. Had it coming for years but felt so damn unprepared.... it's been embarrassingly easy though, I'm very happy with how things turned out and just getting 2 hours here, 1 hour there at different schools for very short term periods while I keep my half-time on the place I was already working at 🥹 sounds busy as hell but it might be the most free time I've had in years lol.

I'm sorry if I already told you that btw, can't remember at all and I must sound like a broken record if I did ahhh

I'll also be moving couple provinces away soon which is,,, amazing...unbelievable even! But I'll update on that as it happens bc I really am too anxious to even think bout it atm lmao

Anyhow,, I really really I'm so unbelievable glad to read from you my dear 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 you have no idea,, I was sending my little moths to find you 😔💔🥀 holding u in my arms tightly so I don't lose sight of u as easily omg.

Really hoping things are well over there and that you are having a much easier time now ;w; sending literally all my love like leaving none for nobody else, mwah 🫀

[worldofroma]

September 3rd, 2023 Sunday - 9:07pm

school starts on tuesday. what the fuck. i haven’t updated in a while, but man do i have a lot of shit to talk about. so…that dude i was friends with… yeah we dated. my entire work found out which was quite humiliating and annoying but for some reason, his ex was the least bothered by it, in front of me. in front of my other friends who work there…not so much. but hey less conflict and confrontational drama for me right? plus, i said dated, i broke up with him after 3 weeks. yeah. and i kind of feel awful but at the same time i don’t. after i broke up with him (over text btw), i went to the CNE in toronto and got to pay 20$ for a palm reading from a psychic and it felt like a slap in the face.

first of all, she starts off by saying that i need to stop being such a mean person. in other words, she called me a bitch. subtly. and she told me that she can see i have a softer and sweeter side to me and that i should be showing that much more often, but to not let others take advantage of it and let myself become a mother for others. “they have a mother, they do not need you to be a second or third one”. i almost threw up when she said that. she said that i have a lot of work to do when it came to self love and care, thanks. i’m aware. but then she added that i’ll be travelling around the world and i won’t be alone, but she couldn’t tell if i’d be with a lover or a friend. 🤷‍♀️. my step dad said there’s no way i’d travel with a man so i guess i’m either going with a friend or somehow switching sides in the next few years, but i can’t see that ever happening. but then after that she decided to go ahead and tell me that i’ll be happily married at some point in my life with four children. four fucking children. no thank you i like having a uterus that’s inside me not one that’ll fall out spontaneously by the time i’m having a midlife crisis. she also said something about business but i can’t remember exactly what it was she said but it was positive.

but fuck, this wasn’t even the worst part since the last time i’ve wrote an entry, this has just been sitting at the front of my brain since i got the reading. what’s been really important is the fact that i have most definitely been reborn. something over the course of this summer has changed me. i am not the same person i was before school ended and i’m fucking proud of it too. i’m sick of being that girl that just sat at the back of each class, behind the chaos and chatting and laughing that goes on in each of my classes. i want to actually be seen now, but only because i know i am myself now. these past few years of high school, i’ve been stuck. locked up after the disgusting lock downs. but that’s not who i am anymore. and now that i’m free from a boyfriend (i swear i’m not that much of a slut), i can do whatever the hell i want. and i love it. as toxic and stupid as it sounds, i’m literally embodying the manic pixie dream girl persona just because i feel like it. and who’s gonna stop me? that’s another thing i’ve adapted, the mindset of “why care? it’s my life not yours.” i’ve been thinking of changing my name for a while bc of course my real name is not roma, but i want it to be, and many people i know have told me that that’s a stupid idea. it’s cringy. it’s weird. okay… you expect me to care why? it’s my life, my name, why does it matter to you if i change it or not? it’s not like i’ll be treating my real name like a deadname or anything, people i know now can still call me by my real name, but once i’m in university, that name and version of myself is gone. i’ll be roma, and i’ll be whoever the hell i decide to be with each day that passes. and i don’t mean to say that in some kind of emo way either, like it’s some kind of depressive phase of “oh, i feel so trapped here in this stupid small town 💔🥀🫠, i just want to disappear and become a whole new person 😈🚬🪦”. like no. lmfao. i think that’s what a lot of people think when i tell them these things, but trust me, its not. my ideas are more along the lines of taking advantage of the freedom we are given but without crossing the line of “acceptable” behaviour. it’s really just the hippie life style ig. on another topic of being whoever i decide to be, i’ve come to realize how much power i actually could have if i just didn’t care so much. i have a tendency to overthink things, overcare about things, make things awkward because i overthink things way too much. but i’m done with that shit, who really cares? the only thing that matters this year at school is my grades, nothing else. after i graduate, what are the chances i see anyone i go to school with now for the rest of my life? probably extremely slim with my plans for the future including travelling and never fucking returning to bruce county. nothing fucking matters.

back to the topic of how i become a mother for everyone, i hate that. i’ve been researching a lot about it and the correct term for it is parentification and occurs when a child and parents roles are reversed. for example, the child is the one who listens to the parents problems while theres are pushed away or labeled as “nothing to worry about”. i hate that i went through that and i hate that it’s made me unconsciously become everyone around me’s mother. worst part about it is that after i saw the psychic and began thinking about it more, i realized that while i was in the relationship with the dude from my work, i was most definitely just acting like a mother he can touch however he likes which is absolutely disgusting. and i wished i had realized it sooner. hopefully, i can somehow change that.

but yeah, that’s how my august has been. pretty self discovering and yet somehow uneventful. lovely.

[rosenallies]

I’m so sorry since this is def prying but earlier in the year you were saying you might do in-patient treatment during the summer but then you signed up for summer school. I know you still have to work but are you prioritizing your mental health this summer? It’s truely none of our business, but you had ampted up the depressing posts in the last few weeks and just wanted to make sure you’re okay in the staying alive sense

I’ve been signed up for summer school since like January but next week is the last week and I still have a month and a half before the regular school year starts. I’m still debating on actually going, I feel weird about going in “planned” bc both of the times I’ve gone prior have been not planned as I was in crisis at the moment of being brought in if that makes sense but idk feeling safe has been hard lately and I’m struggling to find a doctor that specializes in whatever’s wrong with me that doesn’t have a fuckin 6 month waitlist and ik going inpatient they typically always set you up with outside services prior to discharge so it’s ready to go when you get out but idk <3 ty for checking in, sorry to overshare shsbs I’m trying to prioritize that tho and get some help before the school year starts again 💛💛

[feuqueerfire]

Midnight Motel Live Blogging

GMMTV really crammed some of my most anticipated 2022 shows to run at this time (Never Let Me Go, Midnight Motel, The Warp Effect), as well as My School President which I was keeping my eyes on. Think I’ll have to watch these the week they end or I’ll never catch up.

Playlist

Ep 1: Welcome to the Business (Jan 9 11)

1-1

ooh cool start

okay actually fuck idkkk maybe i’ll start this later? bc i’m in the middle of the Trials of Apollo series and also Never Let Me Go (ep 5 tmrw), which is 2 different stories already. maybe i’ll watch this on Wednesday and finish before next Tuesday so that i’m not weaving this and NLMG and trials of apollo.

aw the fact that Mote’s always out of luck and “missed the admission quota out of a top uni even though he passed the exam” sucks so fucking bad

oh Mond’s the pimp?

oh fuck Mond’s character is so scary D: I know people said so but rip

pls Mote standing and thinking of the shit possibilities of what could happen if he barges into Mond and Jan’s characters’ rooms 

Oh yeah I forgot that Mote and Kat are love interests right

Aw Kat T.T 

Kat’s so fun and funny

Sun’s making Kat pay her debts to him 

oh, interesting in a good way about Kat mentioning working so hard

1-2

oh it’s Kat’s mom’s debt that she’s paying off 

Sun kys

Mote researching the websites where customers and sellers buy-sell sex work and identifying the pain points to make their app is wholesome

pls Kat’s funny with tryna sell her services to Mote (+ his friend) and also they’re cute

pls Doy being like whyyyy tf did you bring this app to my doorstep again after we met the police and mafia last time

the dynamic between Doy and Kat not really believing Mote vs Mote being a sweet talker and knowing how to appeal to people

ooh a design for the app first this is just like my uni class

girl not pay by crypto 

does Sun have photos?!?! 

oh videos?!?!? is Kat and the client aware that these exist?!?!?!?! gross gross gross die die die

1-3

oof Mote and Kat are so cute. him being like “hmph, your pics on the app are catfishing for sure” and then when she elbows him, he exaggeratedly falls back ah >.<

yes Kat, come to Canada and we can kiss

Linguistics: Mote and Kat use gu-meung with each other. I think Kat and Sun also used gu-meung earlier, which surprised me a bit bc I expected Kat to use Khun w Sun or something but ig the rude pronouns make sense also

Kat saying she wouldn’t do this job if she could choose. the way they’ve been talking about sex work and prostitution is interesting in a casual way where’s a job that’s hard work and like Mote, she’s doing it bc of debt and wouldn’t do it otherwise. it’s not glamorized but the existence of it or sex workers aren’t made to be evil even though the situation sucks here

hope that Mote or Doy know what to do if things go wrong whether it be the guys are dicks like when Sun had to step in or if they refuse to give money or something

oh i see we’re getting to see them handle things like the short hair and wig, and now police are coming in. also i’ve just remembered that someone maybe dies

1-4

I don’t quite get the Big Boong thing. I know Mote pretended that Big Boong’s someone else, some big shot to make the police nervous and let it but who? why’d the cops leave?

wtf was that Kat being shot in the head scene? umm I’m hoping it’s just one of Mote’s fears and not something that comes to pass

I hope they all earn the money and pay off their debts ah

Ep 2: The Investor (Jan 12)

Ep 6 came out and I saw one person write that it’s a satisfying ending, so I’m glad

2-1

ooh they’re talking about how it’d be good if they could just legalize sex work but the police are gonna lose so much money from the bribes to leave prostitution alone that they won’t let it be legal

Mote and Kat are cute, aw

oof Mote and Kat are so non-flirtily flirty ma gudness

agh Kat’s mom was dead I thought but nope, she’s just letting her daughter pay back her loans and also coming for more money

oh noooo Kat’s flashback to how her mom disappeared from their home and so the guys who were looking for her came for Kat instead T.T

oh, this was the very first time Kat saw her mom since that incident? 

hmm Sun telling Kat’s mom to never see her again. I’d assume that Sun’s romantically interested in her in any other show but he treats her like crap, so maybe he just doesn’t want them to plan and run away or smth? 

wait Pom from Gifted, what are you doing here heh. Victor’s name is Pat here 

is Pat gonna be the man she kills? 

damn he really put a collar on her oh I hate this bc he seems so earnest and this could’ve been cute if Kat didn’t fucking hate it and Sun didn’t force here T.T 

2-2

damn, not us getting the backstory on why Pat wants to have power during sex because he has no power in his personal life

oh Pat’s a billionaire, possible investor? also, that unicorn ad thing kinda maybe reminds me of whatever investing ad Mote saw in ep 1 that made him make the other app or something

oh yeah, the camera in the room that Sun has so that he can fucking watch Kat and her clients agh but now catching Kat doing work that he hasn’t assigned her

ahhh that camera was hidden by Kat? it’s for blackmailing Pat?

i love the classical music choices and also Mote thinking of possibilities and them actually showing it as if it’s happening, like Kat getting shot in the head

2-3

“I just wanna tell your you’re definitely worth more than you think?” ah so cute

Mote really is just too good with words, Kat’s right that these sorts of people just aren’t trustworthy bc they know the right things to say “How am I going to trust you, you shard-tongued jerk of a CEO?”

oh Tawi/Jay looks really different when talking with Pat’s wife than when he’s tryna get money out of Mote. Are they different people?

who’s the person that Pat’s wife talked about? Is it Mote?

okay the guy who’s terrorizing Mote isn’t actually Tawi

ah this guy is so annoying either Mote gives him money to keep the business a secret and then can’t pay back his debt in time and gets the hotel taken away OR Mote doesn’t give him money and so he tells the police about the illegal prostitution

2-4

Sun is so fucking scary, threatening June with killing her son if she doesn’t tell him what she and Kat are doing aghhh

omg so stressful. on the one hand Sun’s tryna get Doy to get him into the app by pretending he’s a client, Kat’s with Pat who’s waiting for the pitch + she saw Sun in the lobby, and Mote’s fucking phone somehow fell under the bed

ahh cliffhanger ending rip

Ep 3: Ain’t Them Bodies Cents (Jan 12)

anyway, I know Pat dies for sure because someone on a discord sent a screenshot. that’s as expected bc i’ve barely seen him in gifs or anything

3-1

oof Doy fucked up and gave Sun the invitation and whole time Mote’s like yep I trust Doy to take care of it rip

pls the chaos of Doy talking to Sun and Mote presenting to Pat while Doy and Mote are also communicating via bluetooth

pls Mond is so scary as Sun. girl “I’m the owner of their breath” kalsdj okay

Mote is much smarter than Sean is all I can say lmfao he can lie p well, even though Sun has a suspicion that Mote’s lying

3-2

is Pat drunk or what? Why is he all woozy and falling? Did he take his medication too late or something? Did his wife drug his meds because there was a point made about him taking his med case before leaving

lmfao is Mote and Kat’s kiss gonna be interrupted by Pat dying

oh kinda. i thought we’d hear a gun shot sound but what happened? did he fall and hit his head and die since Pat was so off-balance?

so did Pat succeed in giving the money or no

lol the Kat butchering the body scene

3-3

pls the way Doy had to say he’s not sitting in the back w the corpse

is Sun at Kat’s home? oh fuck he’s throwing a fit

wait omg I kinda knew that Sun knew Kat when he was a child bc I’ve seen a caption bout smth like that with a clip of Sun sitting on that bench but I didn’t know she was close friends with him :0 that sucks so bad

ah shit so Sun wasn’t the one who brought her into sex work but someone else did and he was there and he seemed young

oh Sun’s terrible idk how he transformed into this hardened pimp quickly but then he said he’d pay off Kat’s debt if she transfers to his club

3-4

ofc Pat’s car has a GPS oof and ofc Pat’s wife’s cheating on him with Jay but we could guess that from last ep

not Sun waiting in room 211 with his suitcase of weapons 

so Pat did start the transaction of 20 million?

ooh Kat’s tryna get away to diff city but also she stole Pat’s phone. wonder if there’s tracking on that too 

Ep 4: Disappear Body (Jan 13)

4-1

Joy’s tryna get Kat to fess up or something bc of her threatened child, right?

k the current things at play is that Kat wants to access Pat’s crypto and leave for Canada, Joy wants to trick Kat possibly, Sun has come to find Kat and is threatening Mote, Jay is tracking Pat’s car and has been lead to the motel, also the debt collector mans that’s been bothering Mote wants his money as well for protection of Takkrub

oh Jay’s seeing Sun being weird with Mote in the hallway on the CCTV lmfao he can just walk in there all willy nilly. is the room Mote and Sun are in also viewable with cctv

lol I wonder if Jay will view Sun as the thread instead of Mote now and have his suspicion on him as a possible reason for Pat going missing? who knows. also i wanna know if Jay knows that Pat’s dead or not? has he searched the inside of the car? seems like no

4-2

bruv, Mote really got Sun, Jay, and the debt collector guy all in the same room wanting something from him gbye and gl “shit, this is like a fan meeting. Wait no they’re all after me.”

plsss the three of them all being like eyeee should be the one talking to Mote first, yall get out

pls the way Sun smiled and gestured and moved away as soon as the knife appeared

oh Jay killed the debt collector mans lmfao Mote’s gulping and now Jay has a gun

oh debt collected mans was called Big Off

lmfao Mote being like “he’s not my friend” and Jay being like “oh? he didn’t come to save you?”

pls it’s killing me the way Jay has to explain like “this is not an empty thread na krub. If you don’t tell the truth, I’ll kill both of you. Na?”

plssssss the arguments between Sun and Mote are so funny and Jay telling them to shut up each time like now Mote realizing Sun has a camera in Kat’s usual room

wait if the footage is there, why didn’t they show Pat falling and hitting his head agh

oh damn okay so the body wasn’t in the car even though that was the original plan. did Kat do something with it?

4-3

fuckk i’m so mad I had so many thoughts for parts 3 and 4 but it refreshed and all of it got deleted kms

I thought it was fun when in part 4 Mote started acting clever and threatening again after seeming to be bumbling and foolish in the first 3 parts. 

I liked the chips and card game fantasy scene. The crew in MDL seems fairly inexperienced but they’re doing well so far

Ep 5: Blast From The Past (Jan 14)

5-1

Sun how’d you turn out like this agh

byeee they dismembered Big Off

 neo appearance !

Police officer Jay sued an elite man who attacked a bus driver but the elite man got him fired?

sdlkfhj the neolouis sex noises

oof, Kat’s found out that Sun’s getting money from Kat’s mom, which is money that Kat earned from Sun

oh my fucking god, I need to kill Sun. I hope Kat kills Sun

Sun remembering Kat saving him from those guys and so finally kinda snapping out of (sexually, physically) assaulting her

5-2

this young kids Kat and Sun backstory is making me so fucking sad because they used to be friends

noooo the promise :< “when we grow up, we won’t become the kind of adults we hate”

Sun realizing he’s become the kind of adult he hated

pls Doy and texting is just aldskfj as soon as Jay gets the orders to kill/deal with the trio, he texts Mote’s phone (which Jay has currently and also doesn’t it have a password) that he can’t find it (the body) anywhere in the hotel lmfao. prev it was the thing with Sun coming while they were tryna show Pat the pitch

Kat’s a whole lot, she really is confessing? playing with Mote? in that bathroom and kissing him instead of admitting she ran away for a brief period and also stole the phone hoping for the crypto money

I wonder if Mote believes her after seeing her pretend with Pat bc I don’t think I believe her actions in that bathroom

5-3 and 5-4

Sun really tryna just make a deal with everyone huh? giving the bullet to Jay and saying to kill only Mote (also the ice cooler thing Jay’s getting the ice from is freaking me out bc at first I don’t think I registered that they hid him in the ice cooler but now that I know... hm is he in there). Telling Mote that he wants to invest in Takkrub

What did the uncle and aunt wanna tell Mote before Jay came in? Were they the ones who his the body? Like if it isn’t any of the captured trio, Doy was a possibility but then he didn’t show up for like 2 eps in the middle so I started thinking he’s less of a possibility? Or is he more of one because why did he also disappear for a bit? And it could also be uncle and aunt who someone calmly and quietly discovered and hit the body

pls I love the fantasy situations Mote goes through so much, like the convo with dead ghost Pat

naurrr flashing back to young Kat and Sun saying they’d protect each other as adult Kat tells Sun to get out of her life

oh Pat’s in the ice cooler the way they made it seem. so the one that they hit the body in had the :) sticker and then that got carted out and had more ice put in it and put out front and the new ice cooler that’s in the place of the old ice cooler doesn’t have that sticker

So would his uncle and aunt do that? The mover also deleted the CCTV footage, would they be able to do that? Doy was the one who deleted the previous CCTV footage, so would it be him? Why?

also Mote and Sun and stuff getting ice from the cooler while underneath was Pat’s body reminds me of To Sir, With Love where the maids were all having fun collecting that mushroom, whole time there’s Don’s dead body underneath

Ep 6: All Or Nothing (Jan 14)

6-1

So I guess it really was his aunt and uncle who moved the body

they let Sun walk out of the room?

6-2

did Sun take one pill and poison the fish? or what?

or is Sun stealing the meds pill box from Kat?

Sun you backstabbing bitch, him being like “we have our bullets for that” and whole time he doesn’t even have the bullet. he has me on edge fr bc I can’t tell if he’s just double-crossing Mote and Kat or double double-crossing Jay

lol the meds box is filled with stone, flashbacks to Squid Game Ep 6

oh so Sun did give Jay a defect bullet? but Jay told June to bring another gun my dudes

everyone’s got stuff under their sleeve, like Kat with Pat’s phone and Mote with the Takkrub upload of the evidence

also i don’t think their evidence is actually enough for much (like lol they themselves could’ve filled the box with poisoned pills afterwards to frame June) but I’m ignoring that

6-3

I don’t get the [A gift from Big Off] and “say hello to my little friend

oh Jay fr shot the uncle on the shoulder 

bruv, I was thinking of Jay falling off the roof maybe but I didn’t think they’d do it like that lmfao

the villains really do wait to shoot until the uncle’s there or until Sun’s covering Kat huh lmfao

oh Sun is so psychologically fucked. he really is like if I die then Kat dies with me

oh the friendship bracelets were from the promise of not becoming like the adults they hated

okayyy Kat didn’t know that Sun was the same kid as before. At first I thought she did but then it was like hm but yeah she’s asked him “Are you Arthit?”

please Mond’s doing so good as Sun. the way he’s like sorry for breaking my promise and handing back the bracelet and telling her live and be better for him as he lays there dying. It goes with his character arc that he dies here because he’s too irredeemable to continue with the gang or to continue inflicting pain with his pimping but because of his backstory and helping the gang thus far, he’s also not someone who we see as an one-note evil man anymore. too evil to not die but the audience doesn’t wanna see him go down in a horrifying grotesque way either

6-4

plssss Kat using Pat’s corpse for the face ID of his crypto wallet (the reason she came back p much)

girl shut up who is Yudo, we have Tony for Doy. actually Doy can be polyam, I’d like that. or a cheater, I’ll forgive that in preperation for Moonlight Chicken

Very pretty wrapped bow for the ending.

The last ep was good but not great, I don’t think they were super clever with their action or wrap-up, although it was still pretty fun. Also no like great twist in the final ep, which is fine but nothing about the final ep really makes it stand out. 

The acting was great, the script was comprehensible and well-paced, the production is good, featured sex work without villainizing the workers or the work itself. I loved Mote’s little fantasies of possible scenarios or of imagining an interaction in a different way (the card game with June, convo with dead Pat). I’m impressed by the creative team behind it. 

I won’t think about this much after today I don’t think but I liked this little show.

Rating: 6.5/10

Mock Trailer

The actual show ended up being pretty much the same as that mock trailer, guess they’ve had the script done for a while. It was snappy but gave away a lot, so I’m glad I hadn’t watched most of it before watching the show (or if I had, it must’ve been like 10 months ago and I completely forgot it because only the first like 15 seconds seemed familiar and I knew the concept before going in).

Official Trailer

Once again, reveals a lot but is slightly better created than the OG, which is expected.

[skinnyducky]

made for you // v.h.

hello.. im sorry i havent been posting. school has been keeping me busy but i wanted to post this. this idea comes from @yelenasdarling so thank you ! i recommend listening to halley’s comet by billie eilish (as well as the whole album) bc that’s the song that is being discussed in this (as well as many others), so yuh. enjoy ! and i promise i haven’t forgotten about party @ y/ns !

vinnie hacker x singer!fem!reader

Word Count: 1408, edited

WARNING: MAJOR FLUFF LUV

---------

As the year was coming to an end, so was your debut album. For months, you’d been working with the best producers, musicians, and doing endless promo for this album and within a few days, you’d be playing it for the label. Obviously because it is your first record, you’re protective over it. No one had heard it besides the people working on it. So, you were a bit nervous to let your pleading boyfriend, Vinnie, tag along to the studio with you.

It was Friday, and you two had been chilling in his room when your producer, Sarah, said she needed you to go over it before the label meeting. As you bid your goodbyes to Vinnie, informing him of the reason for your departure, he pouted. “Why can’t I come?” he nearly cried, giving you his puppy dog eyes. Because you couldn’t resist them—and you just can’t say “no” to him—you allowed him to come.

Now here the two of you were, in the studio and listening to Sarah go on and on about how long it took for her to finish mastering it. Your manager, Jen, had came too. She had to hear the album for herself also. She couldn’t have her client looking a mess in front of her bosses. Bad for business and her reputation.

“…and after an hour or two of making sure your vocals were clear, I finally finish the album.” Sarah explained. “Honestly, this is probably the best album I’ve produced in a minute, and I worked on SZA’s album.”

“That good?” Vinnie asked with a smirk, leaning against the studio door. “That’s sick. I’m ready to listen to it.”

As that sentence left Vinnie’s mouth, you felt your anxiety overcome you. “Are you sure, Sarah? There has to be some sort of adlib I need to rework or something. Can’t be ready so soon.”

“Y/n, it can’t get any better than this. This is a solid project. I should know, I spent days listening to it over and over again. Trust me, it’s ready.”

“Besides, it’s too late to rerecord now.” Jen added. “The label meeting is next Thursday, and we don’t have a week for Sarah to mix and master all over again. Once the label gives us the greenlight, if there’s anything to tweak, you can do it before you have to submit the final project. But until then, no changes and no additions.”

You sighed, nodded your head. It’s not that you were afraid of it not being perfect. You were more scared of what Vinnie would think. I mean, he’s the one who inspired the album; more than half of the songs are about him. His opinion meant everything to you, and if he didn’t like an inch of it…that would destroy you.

As you were sulking and picking at your chipped nail polish, Vinnie wandered over to you where you sat at the soundboard with Sarah. He leaned against it and smiled down at you. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Nothing.” You sighed, keeping your head down. He scoffed and chuckled. “Y/n, you’re playing with your nail polish. You always do that when you’re upset.”

He pulled you up and took you out of your seat before sitting down himself and placing you on his lap. “Tell Santa what’s up.” He joked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I’m just nervous. This album means so much to me.”

“Completely understandable. It’s your first one, it should mean a lot to you.”

You shook your head. “It’s not just because of that. It’s also because it’s about you. The only reason you haven’t came with me to the studio until now is because I didn’t want you to hate anything on this, and it would kill me if you did.”

“Y/n, look at me”—you finally met his eyes for the first time—“I could never not like anything you do. Especially if it’s dedicated to me. That’s like throwing away a gift you gave me. I wouldn’t ever do that. So don’t think for a minute that I’d hate this. That’s literally impossible.”

You smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead. “You’re too good for me.”

“I know.” He laughed and turned to Sarah. “Play us the album!” He said dramatically, sending the producer into a fit of giggles.

She followed his orders and with a few clicks and the press of a button, the first song from your album rang out from the studio speakers. You watched timidly as Vinnie bobbed his head up and down as it went from track to track.

“This shit slaps!” He exclaimed as “Y/n Bossa Nova” played. He nearly about died during “Oxytocin”, claiming it to be god tier. Minutes went by until you got to the final track “Halley’s Comet”, and you were scared to play him this song.

While the other tracks were quite playful in nature, this one was different. The song was a bit cynical, but it was also like a love letter to Vinnie. Never before have you ever felt what you had with him. And at first that made you scared. But as the months went by and your relationship started to blossom, you realized he was the one for you. This was just your way of telling him that.

When it started, you looked everywhere but at Vinnie. It wasn’t just because you couldn’t bear to see the expression on his face, but also because this song was quite emotional. You didn’t want him to see you “being a little bitch” as you put it.

The sound of your soft vocals bounced off the walls and you felt Vinnie place his chin on your shoulder. His hold on you grew tighter as he swayed you two back forth. A small smile crept it’s way onto your face as you tried your best to stray away from crying.

“I’ve been loved before, but right now in this moment,” you sung, “I feel more and more like I was made for you…”

When those lyrics hit, you felt Vinnie stop swaying. Hell, you were pretty sure he had stopped breathing too. You didn’t know what to think about that; did he not like the song, is he shocked? What was he thinking and feeling? Shortly after, the song came to an end with you singing, “I think I might have fallen in love…what am I to do?”

And with that, the album finished. The room was silent, the only sound being your sniffles. Although that was broken when Sarah screamed. “Wasn’t that amazing!? Ugh, my power…I really outdid myself on this one.”

Thankfully, Jen understood the impact of that last song. “Sarah, why don’t we go get a Snickers or something from the vending machine?”

“I can’t eat anything fatty, Jen. You know this.”

Jen mouthed some profanities and threats at the woman causing her to shoot up from her chair and run out into the hallway. “We’ll leave you two alone for a minute.” Jen smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Neither of you or Vinnie spoke and that somewhat was comforting. However, part of it made you feel insecure about the album, “Halley’s Comet” in specific. Out of all the songs, that’s the one you wanted him to like the most.

The silence soon grew uncomfortable, so you decided to be the first to speak. “Well, that was the album. What’d you think?”

He opened his mouth, but it was obviously he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I-I don’t know how to even put it in words.”

“That bad?” You sighed.

“No, never.” He laughed. “It was beautiful, all of it really. And that last song, that was amazing.”

You pursed your lips, hiding the grin wanting to break free. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it was definitely one of my favorites. To know I had that much of an impact on you, it’s really sweet. I didn’t think I could simp for you any harder than I do now.”

“Shut up!” you laughed, slapping his shoulder.

“It’s the truth!” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “I love you, Y/n. I really do.”

“I love you too.” And with that, he laid a sweet and gentle kiss on your lips.

Pulling back, he said, “Oh and just so you know, I agree with you.”

“On what?”

“You were definitely made for me.”