#I said I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone but I think I lied. I want everyone to be hurting and I never want it to stop | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

andersonfilms · 6 months ago

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❝ DO YOU FEEL ASHAMED? ❞ ✶ ELLIE WILLIAMS !

★⠀warning y disclaimers — eighteen+, ex!ellie, heavy angst, cheating, heartbreak, moving on, reader going through it, no happy ending y'all, this one has a little kick, ellie is a bit of a dirtbag in this, next time i write for her it'll be the most fluff.

RAYNE RAMBLES ★ wrote this last year after getting cheated on and it's just been sitting in my docs, forever. enjoy my pain?? idk, possible abby x reader sequel

ex!ellie who avoids you for a very long time after the breakup. she wishes it could be amicable between the two of you too, but it can't be. it never will be. ellie made sure of it. all of her belongings are still littered across your apartment, though her scent is gone, you still see her everywhere. you can't bring yourself to remove the framed photos of the two of you hanging across your home. she was happy, or so you thought, and you were. but today was the day. you were letting all of it go and her with it. your roommate had taken it all down for you, the strength to remove the past three years of your life just couldn't be found.

ex!ellie who doesn't really want to think about the way you'll look at her. her emerald eyes were always your favorite, you used to go on about how much you love them. how soft they looked at you, the light shining beneath them whenever she said something stupid and ellie just waited for your giggle or a hint of it anyway. they used to be kind to you, careful, even calm but it didn't seam to be the case anymore. ellie knew you wouldn't be either — not after she’s hurt you. carelessly, abusing your kind-hearted spirit, turned you to something resembling unbridled rage with a large dosage of resentment.

ex!ellie who is met with your roommate instead of you, before the door is slammed in her face. she expects to be met with sharp behavior. there wasn't a shadow of a doubt she did. ellie just wished it wasn't your best friend who she fucking hated. ellie never liked them. they never liked her and now she didn't have to hide it. what ellie couldn't stand was that they were right about her. three years in and instead of doing the decent thing, ellie chose to betray you. those closest to you were going to protect you from the enemy at all costs. the only you trust the most and cut you the deepest. as much as she despised it, it was all true.

ex!ellie who eventually gets you, after you hear her voice carelessly arguing with your friend. you place a box at the entry in front of her feet, before you walk away. ellie peaks through one foot in the door, but then you're already back with the second box. ellie can see the tears in your eyes and you see the guilt in hers. almost shining brighter than the shame. she knows how much it hurts you, her being here, being so close but so unimaginably far away it makes you want to hurl.

ex!ellie who watches you breathe deeply, your hands clenched into fists. before you're rubbing them at drained eyes, dark circles underneath them. she's to blame for everything you're going through. if she had just been honest from the beginning, maybe the two of you could've been friends and just left your love there. you were nothing but good to ellie, pure like white snow, and now the blood from her hands fell over you, staining you a violent red. you would never be pure again. no. not like before. you wouldn't ever blindly trust anyone just because you simply fell in love. putting yourself out like this again? no, you couldn't do it.

ex!ellie who tries to speak with you, mouth open, but no words are able to come out. she tried her best to put off this moment, the confrontation of the aftermath, facing the fact she had treated you like an afterthought, but you were more than just a thought ellie had tried to push away. you were a person she had left abandoned. she had promised you the world and caved when the time came to give in. she become everything you feared she would be, tearing you in little shreds of yourself as you tried to piece back what she had broke.

"you look like you haven't slept." ellie states, not really a question, but she almost phrases it as one. she doesn't have a right to ask. the two of you know she's forfeited knowing you, your life, how you're doing — she's the one whose damned it all.

"i don't really. not right now at least." you look anywhere but her eyes, your eyes concentrating towards the freckles meticulously scattered along her shoulders, her cheeks, and along her button nose. “anyways, should be everything of yours. i’ll contact dina if anything else shows up.” your tone sharp, clearly cutting through.

there’s no malice when you utter her girlfriend’s name, but ellie senses you’ll reserve the tone of betrayal just for her. she’s the one who abandoned her commitment to you.

not dina.

“can we talk? please?” ellie flashes her beautiful puppy eyes at you, once would make you melt, now you feel like throwing up.

“ellie.” there is it is, ellie thinks, betrayal and brutality laced in the voice who promised her a future. there once had been one, house, kids, a ring. it seems so silly now. it’s a warning the way you speak to her. don’t push your luck, williams.

she’s with dina. why does she even care?

she’d never seen you so upset, so vengeful, so tired of her. you weren’t lying when you never said you never wanted to see her again. every single beat of your heart meant it, the emotion cut off when you spoke to her, how you looked at her with this cold look in your eyes. arms crossed over your chest as if looking at her is the most taxing task in the world.

ellie was supposed to not care. she couldn’t, yet it bothered her you clearly didn’t.

“i have nothing i want to say, especially to you.” you bark, for the first time, ellie fears there might be a bite.

“i-i know i fucked up, okay? i just can’t stand the thought of you fucking hating me.” ellie pleads, a longing look in her eyes.

“well, i never thought i would, so i guess we’re all evolving and changing into horrible people.” you roll your eyes at her, watching as she struggles to pick up the boxes laid at her feet.

you loath how much you want to help her, but don’t.

you can’t.

“you’re not horrible.”

“well, you are.” your insult slapped her right across the face, the burning sensation stung but what hurt more was knowing you meant every word.

“this isn’t fair, i know what i did was bad, but i told you the truth. i didn’t lie, i confessed. isn’t it worth for at least, i dont know, a little empathy? something?” ellie sighed deeply, shoulders tense from the altercation with you. “

“you didn’t tell me because you’re a honest person. it’s because i would have found out and you were scared.” you scoff. “fuck you. wanting brownie points for admitting you cheated? go to hell.”

“what else could i have done? it was already too late.” ellie admits, shame laced in her eyes. you hope she feels every bit of shame for all the hell she’s put you through.

“i wonder why it was too late?” your sarcasm slicing through the air. ellie finally managed to get a grasp on boxes in her shaky hands as she tried to not crumble under your death glare from hell. “i was the last one to show up at the party to your new fucking relationship. huh, guess i would be one not invited? some weird fucking placeholder until you found something better. right under my fucking nose.”

she deserves every bit of it.

painfully, you were met with silence. ellie couldn’t do anything, apologize in a way she hadn’t before, beg for forgiveness, grovel for your compassion.

you were too angry, too heated, too fucking hurt. there’s only a split second of it, ellie almost missed it, but she saw it clearly. the gloomy blues hidden beneath your beautiful eyes, slowly becoming more evident. you’re trying your best to hide it beneath anger, mask it from her, but she sees it.

tears building the more your voice escalates and ellie would truly hate herself if she made you cry in front of her, again. she’s can’t see you do it again. it’s the last thing she wants. she can’t keep hurting you.

dina, fuck. she has to protect her. ellie’s unsure if you’ll lash out on here. you haven’t yet, but breakups pull the worst out of you and she’s fearful for the women she does love.

“just…don’t take it out on dina, alright? if you wanna be mad, fine. as much as i wish i could fix it, i know nothing i can say or do will earn your trust back. okay?”

your heart breaks at her instinct to protect dina, how she used to do the same for you. it nearly splits you into an abyss, cracking your soul just where she had nicked it. almost seemed intentional at this point.

“i would never be mean to her. she didn’t promise me a future together, you did. hope you have lovely fucking life with her.”

ex!ellie who is met with the wooden door being slammed in her face, nearly kissing her chin. she stayed there long enough to hear you cry, sitting on the concrete to hear the consequences of loving someone else who wasn’t her girlfriend, well now ex. she craved to punch something, someone. you whined, a name quietly dropped from your perfect lips, abby, your fucking best friend. she would be the one to comfort you, pick up the pieces of the wreckage ellie had left you with. it scorned her, letting a flame loose on her skin, with the thought of you with her. but she didn’t get to have feelings, she couldn’t be upset with how you chose to reassemble your sanity. not when she’s the one who broke you. even if it’s with the woman she always feared you love more than a friend.

DAILY CLICK + DONT BUY TLOU + DONATE

#AHHHH PAIN ?#GO AWAY ???!!!?????#yeah ... </3 #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #tlou #the last of us #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams fanfiction #tlou2 #ellie williams angst

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lailols · 9 days ago

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Kai's Pretty Girlfriend [1]: Step One

Hueningkai x Reader, eventual OT5 x Reader

Warnings: oral sex (m receiving), hyuka is a little mean but in a sweet way?, exhibitionism, voyeurism, dom hyuka, sub reader, unprotected sex, a bit of dub con (peeping toms and doing the deed with a 'sleeping' person nearby), a bit of kink negotiation

Kai thinks, all things considered, he started off the plan subtle enough. If having you sit so prettily on your knees for him in the living room can be considered subtle. To be fair, the dorm is currently empty. He didn't even really plan to start it today, just wanted to feel your mouth around him instead of watching the anime you put on. But, progress waits on no man, or whatever the saying is.

"You're always so good for me, sweetie," He says petting your head. "Letting me use your mouth in the living room when anyone can walk in."

He watches you for a reaction, but you have none. Hm. He's not too surprised. You always get a little floaty when you've got him in your mouth. Usually, he's content to let you work your magic. Letting you lick and kiss around him at the start before lowering yourself onto him while fondling his balls. But today he has a goal in mind. So he pulls your hair to get you off him and tries again.

"Baby, I'm talking to you." He says with that gentle reprimanding tone. "Aren't you going to listen to me?"

"'m sorry Kai." You look up at him with wide eyes, pawing at his thighs and refraining from taking him back inside your mouth.

"It's okay, baby." He says, pulling your hair again just to get a reaction. And a reaction, he gets. Sweet tears pool in your eyes at the smallest pain. "I know you get a little dumb when you have a cock in front of you."

"Wha-" You sniffle. "What'd you say?"

"I said that you're so good for letting me use your mouth when anyone could walk in."

"It's okay, I trust you." Is your only reply. And while it does warm Kai's heart that you have such unwavering trust in him, it wasn't quite the reaction he was hoping for. He just hums at your answer and guides you back down his length, sighing in pleasure when you gag from taking too much but don't pull away.

He holds you there for a bit and then lets you continue on your own. His feels a tingle of pride (and pleasure) when you manage to take him all the way down despite the diffculty. He thrusts a bit just to see you struggle and wipes the tears from your face, cooing at you.

"So good, baby." He purrs. "You'll take everything I give to you, right?"

You hum in agreement and then stop moving, letting Kai thrust as he wishes and gulping down his load when he finishes. He pulls you back up to wipe the drool and tears from your face and then returns the favor to you afterward. The guys don't get home until you're both cuddled up on the couch a while later (sadly). He doesn't let this first (semi) fail deter him though.

The second time is kind of subtle and also an accident. He completely forgot that Yeonjun was going to return his charger to him since he used it after leaving his at the company. But can you really blame him when his attention is on the pretty girl spread out on his lap for him to use as he wants? He's only human.

Only human but right about now, you wouldn't be surprised if he were a devil cosplaying as an angel. He has his legs hooked over yours to keep you spread out for him. Giving him all the space he needs to abuse your pussy. He does this every so often, doing these 'checkups' which really just means he wants to finger you until you pass out or he has to stop before Taehyun comes back into the room, whichever comes first.

You've had two? three? orgasms already and you're currently crying with your head leaned back onto his shoulder. He always likes to push how much he can get out of you before you tap out, but you never do. It's really your fault if you really think about it. You trust Kai with your heart and body so fully, he gets a little drunk on the power you so willingly give him.

He's currently pumping two fingers into you roughly while his thumb makes a home on your clit. His other hand playing with your sore nipples. You sound oh so pretty with your little whimpers from his constant abuse. He almost doesn't notice the crack in the door getting wider, almost.

He tries to not let it show that he knows someone's there but quickly takes this in stride like the sign from heaven that it is and starts rambling. "My pretty girl, so dumb already and I haven't even put my dick in you yet." He presses a kiss to your neck. "What am I gonna do with you, hm?"

You can't even respond just shifting your head to meet his lips in a kiss before you pull away to let out some more moans.

"Sweet thing, you're being so loud." He gently reprimands, though he quickens his pace. "It's almost like you want someone to come see me take you apart like this."

The only thing you can get out is little 'ahs'. Pretty head filled with nothing but fluff as you let Kai break you down to nothing knowing he'll put you back together again later. You continue on like that until you're nearly on the edge, then you can muster some words. Only because you know that if you don't ask, Kai won't let you finish.

"Kai! Hyu-Hyuka! 'm gonna come!" You cry out. "Please, please, let me. I've been so good. Please."

"Hmmm, I don't know." Kai pretends to contemplate before he look to the door to meet Yeonjun's eyes. "What do you think?"

You, obviously, take it as Kai asking you and hurry to babble out pleas, but Yeonjun's eyes widen and he hesitates on a step. Kai tilts his head and pouts while asking again, "Should I?"

A slight nod from Jun is all it takes for Kai to bring his hand down from where it was toying with your nipple to smack your clit. You promptly jerk and come with a shout, whimpers starting up again when he doesn't stop his assault on your poor cunt.

"Please! Too much!" You cry, your hips bucking not knowing if you want more or want to get away. He pins you down with his free arm, continuing his motions.

"One more, baby," Kai says with another kiss on your neck. "Give me one more and we'll be all done, okay? I know you can."

It takes barely a swipe to your clit for you to let go one more time, completely slumped against Kai as you catch your breath. When Kai looks to the door again, Yeonjun is gone but his charger is left resting in the gap.

The third time really is an accident and is definitely not subtle at all. He makes it back from a long day of filming with the guys and just wants to sleep. He went into his room to find you asleep on his bed and smiled, leaving a kiss on your head. He sits in his chair while the others are in the shower, and when Taehyun returns he gets up to go take his own.

He intended to come back and pull you to his chest to get some sleep like his roommate is but the minute he lifts the covers that thought leaves his head. Honestly, all thoughts leave his head. You're not even wearing anything particularly sexy. Just one of his shirts and some panties. Maybe he just thinks you're sexy. Yeah, that sounds right.

He should be used to this, you wear this all the time when you sleep over, but every time he sees you like this it feels like the first time. Can you really blame him? Is it so wrong to be so in love that he gets a boner in both his heart and his dick when he sees you wearing his clothes? He doesn't think so.

He's about to relinquish himself to the shower to rub a quick one out when you flip over as if you sensed him and smile sleepily. What was he meant to do after that? Not have his way with you? Be serious.

"Oh, sweetie, you've gotta be quiet, remember?" Kai reminds you, looking up with a mocking pout. "Tyunnie's gonna hear you if you keep being so loud."

"Sorry- 'm sorry Kai." You whimper, stopping your movements above him. "You just feel so good."

"I know, baby." He says squeezing your hips once, twice, spurring you back in motion. "Should I help you out?" One of his hands travels from your hips to your mouth tapping. You don't resist him slipping two fingers inside. You never do. You don't think you can.

You should've known that Kai wasn't that sweet. Even though he looks at you with a soft smile and prods oh so gently at your tongue, at first. Just when you think he's going to leave his fingers there to muffle your sounds, he slips his fingers in further, further and suddenly you're gagging around them.

"Sweet thing, that's not quiet." He tuts at you as if he didn't cause your reaction. "It's almost as if you want him to hear."

You whimper, clenching around him.

"Oh? Isn't that something?" He smirks at you, removing his fingers from your mouth to cradle your cheek, making sure he leaves a mess behind. "You want Tyunnie to hear you using me for your pleasure, hm? Wanna show him how good you can be?"

You nod and then quickly fix your mistake, whispering a yes.

"I can't hear you, baby." He moves his grip to your throat to pull you so you're chest to chest. "Can you say that again?"

"Yes." You say burying your face into his neck. He's quick to pull you up and tsks at you in disappointment.

"Can you say it for me? You're not so cock drunk that you can't talk to me, are you?" He knows how you react to his words- how you react to him. How can he expect this? Tears well up in your eyes.

"I- I want Tyun to hear us. Wan-" You choke around a sob. "Wan' him to hear me."

And oh, he likes the sound of that a bit too much. Kai knows that it was his goal to get this to happen, to get you to admit your desires but he didn't think it would rile him up as much as it does. He gives you a smirk and pulls out to switch positions, shoving you face-first into the mattress so he can show you how that makes him feel.

"Let's give him a show then, yeah?"

Everything happens so fast from there. You know that Kai said he wanted to give Tae a show but you wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the building could hear you. The sound of his hips hitting yours and your moans reverberate around the room, and you'd be more embarrassed if you weren't getting the best fuck of your life right now.

You can't really focus on anything, but Kai can. And if he sees some odd movements under his friend and roommate's blanket, then that's no one's business but his.

Kai should've expected you to catch on sooner or later. You guys are on the same wavelength most of the time and being together four years means you've explored a lot of kinks with each other. Hell, you took each other's virginity and shaped the other into something of a perfect bedroom partner. So whenever you want to try something new, there's usually a lot of talk beforehand. Kai springing out with a new kink is not unheard of, but the fact that he hasn't talked about it was ringing some bells, so you sit him down.

"So...." You start off standing in front of him.

"So...?" He leads shifting a bit on his bed to get comfortable. "What's up? Why does this feel like an interrogation?"

"It's not, don't worry," You say with a smile. "I just wanted to talk."

"Talk about?" Kai probes again, tilting his head.

"Well," You move over to sit next to him. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Not particularly, no." He turns to face you and you do the same.

"Okay, well, recently you've been saying some things while we, y'know." You're fumbling. It's not your fault though! Kai usually leads these conversations and you don't really know how to approach it without wanting the Earth to open up and swallow you.

"Yeah? Like what?" He asks trying to hold back a smile. Now you know he's just being a little asshole.

"Y'know, saying things about people walking in on us or watching us while we, y'know."

"I have, does that make you uncomfortable?" He asks seriously.

"No, it doesn't. I just never knew you were into that." To be fair he didn't either, but learning that your friends want to fuck and possibly date your girlfriend changes a man.

"Let's just say it was a recent development. How do you feel about it?"

"I think it's kind of... hot?" You start out strong but pull back into a whisper.

"Really?" Kai asks excitedly.

"Yeah. I like the idea of people knowing how good you make me feel. How good we make each other feel."

"So you're down to try out some things with me?"

"Of course I am, if I wasn't I would've talked to you about it before."

"That's my girl." Kai cheers inside of his head. Step One is a success! And if he celebrates by fucking you six ways to Sunday, no one can blame him. It's hard work to bring six people together, he deserves a reward, alright?

And with that step one is a wrap! Hopefully, you liked it! I've never written smut before but I tried my best! I'm currently still brainstorming for chapter 2 but chapter 3 is like 80% done.

How do you think the guys will react to this change? We know Kai sucks at it but will he try and be subtle again? Or as subtle as you can be while fucking your girlfriend in a house with four other guys.

#hueningkai x reader #yeonjun x reader #taehyun x reader #txt x reader #hueningkai #hueningkai smut #txt smut #tomorrow x together #txt

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hyunniesgirl · 10 months ago

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Bad intentions | Part 1

Pairing: nerd!Han Jisung x popular!reader(afab)

Summary: you thought you could turn Han Jisung into the perfect boyfriend material so you can get revenge on your cheating ex. Little did you know that you would end up getting much more than just a guy to show off.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(for the story in general, this part has no smut)

Words count: 8,056

Slightly inspired in the movie She's All That

*This is the second fic to my series Love is a mess. The stories can be read as standalones but they are all connected so some details mentioned may sound off.

Disclaimer: Jisung is proud asf, OC has kind of a sad backstory and has anxiety(not explored very deeply but there are descriptions of her symptoms), this part is just suggestive so no smut

Part 2

This story is NSFW and is going to have +18 themes so MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: okay for the sake of the plot let's pretend for a moment that Han Jisung can be considered anything other than smocking hot, alright?

A/N²: My idea was for all the stories from this series to be oneshots but I just kept writing and writing and this one was almost 13k already and I haven't even gotten to the good part so I thought "I almost never read anything over 10k" so I split the oneshot for the sake of my readers attention span.

Jisung likes to think that he's better than all the guys fawning over you, he likes to think that even if he had a chance, he'd never lust over you. But well, sometimes a strong denial turns out to be an implicit affirmation.

It all started in social studies, he was trying to go over his notes for the test but the conversations happening at the same time didn't let him pay any attention to what was written in the sheets. There were five different conversations happening at the same time, but they all had the same subject: you.

Apparently, you had a boyfriend who cheated on you with a girl from a rival university? Or some trivial shit like that. Jisung doesn't understand why that matters to anyone but you and the said boyfriend. He doesn't understand why everyone feels like such a painful experience is any of their business. But he guesses it comes with the job.

Everyone knows you, you're the classic cheer captain, who dates — or dated — the infamous quarterback in the football team. People envy you, cherish you, they want to be you and he always thought they loved you, but after hearing so many snarky comments about you in the last 20 minutes, he's actually starting to pity you.

You wanted to kill him, Seunghoon, that bastard. He destroyed a relationship of a year just to get in someone's pants? Fucking idiot. You hate him so much for cheating on you, but you hate him the most for not showing up kneeling at your door and asking for forgiveness. Who does he think he is? He would never have gotten his position on the football team if it wasn't for you, everyone knows that.

It's an understatement to say you are always the best in everything you put your mind into and if you're not the best by nature, you work hard until you become the best. You are smart, pretty, popularity is your thing, you're used to getting everyone's attention wherever you go. Everyone loves you, or at least they pretend well enough.

So when you started dating this guy, who was a nobody it was pretty shocking for everyone else. You turned him into the most popular guy so he could stay by your side, so you expected a little bit of loyalty from him. Guess that was expecting too much from a horny dog like him.

You did love Seunghoon, you wouldn't have dated him for a year if you didn't. But his character was always questionable, that, you won't deny. There's that saying that love makes you blind but you knew that he's no good and yet stayed with him, that's on you.

You can't stand the pity looks people give you when you walk down the hallway, they could at least pretend they are not talking shit about you behind your back.

To think the semester has only just started, you wish you could take a year off to make sure things die down nicely. But if you do, you'll definitely lose your position as cheer captain, there are too many people willing to get rid of you so they can get your title.

It's best for you to try and get rid of these thoughts, so you hold your head high turning on a corner, decided to pretend everything is okay. That's when you bump into someone, dropping the books you have in your hands and your phone screen down on the floor, gasping immediately, the last thing you need right now is a broken phone.

When you lean over to collect your things, the person who bumped into you does the same, going for the phone at the same time and touching hands with you. A strange wave of electricity makes your whole body shiver by that touch, making you snap your head in the direction of the person.

You know him. He's one of the members of 3racha, a music group everyone loves. Curiously, this is the first time you have seen him outside of a presentation. He's clearly different from the other members, wearing baggy clothes and displaying a hair that's undeniable too long with some questionable choice of colors on it. You can't even really see his eyes, however, he has something about him that makes you refuse to take your eyes off him.

He grabs your book and phone, ignoring your shameless stare. Standing up and handing your things to you.

“Sorry, I can pay for your phone's repair”, he says and for the first time in a minute you can divert your eyes from him, looking at the screen, absolutely shattered and sighing.

“No, it's okay. I was the one who was distracted”, you smile, tucking your hair behind your ear. Why do you feel the sudden urge to flirt with him? He's not even your type. Or at least, that's what you think.

He hums, not really interested, taking a paper out of his bag and writing something on it.

“Here, this is my number if you change your mind”, he gives you the paper, saying goodbye and disappearing somewhere in the hallway.

When you finally meet Seunghoon, he doesn't even apologize, actually, he doesn't look regretful at all. He has a smug smile, as if what he did is not serious, as if he's better than you now.

You always had a thought in the corner of your mind that maybe he had some kind of inferiority complex when it came to you, but you didn't think he would go as far as to cheat on you just to prove he is better in some way.

“You don't harbor hard feelings, right?” He smirks, chin up. “I know you're much better than me, I'm sure you won't mind what happened and we can still be friends”, he's mocking you, you recognize that tone.

You're grasping the fabric of your skirt under the table, did he really pull you away from your practice to say this? The audacity of this man.

“Of course I don't mind”, you smile kindly, acting as unbothered as you possibly can. This is something you learned in so many years of having eyes on you all the time: pretend. You won't give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry or even get mad. If you are able to pretend you don't care at all about him, that's what you're gonna do.

“I'm glad-”, his smile falters a bit, you are sure he expected you to break. That shows how little he knows about you, you would never make a scene in public.

“Actually, I'm even seeing someone else already”, you blurt out, trying to make him more baffled and it works, he frowns and the look of confusion in his face is priceless.

“Well, that's great for you”, Seunghoon clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. “We should definitely go on a double date sometime”

“Of course, I'd love that”, you nod, standing up. “I'll be going now, but it was great seeing you”, you lie, turning around and walking back to the gymnasium.

When it sinks in what you just did, you want to hit your head against the wall. What the hell was that? Why would you even tell him you're seeing someone when you're not? For fucksake, you're sure he's too proud to let this go, he'll try to find out who it is that you're seeing and when he finds out you lied, you'll be done for, faced with utter humiliation again.

“Why would you tell him you're seeing someone?” Mina asks, looking at you like you are the dumbest person alive, and honestly, you do feel like that at the moment.

“I don't know”, you cry out, “I guess I wanted him to feel miserable”

“And look where that got you”, Miyeon says, worriedly.

“I know, I'm an idiot”, you tell them and your friends nod, making you glare at them. “Well, I guess I'll just have to find a new boyfriend”, you say, dreadfully.

“You know it's not that easy”, Mina says, “you built Seunghoon from the scratch to the guy he is today, it won't have the same effect if you get just anybody that people already see everyday, it has to be shocking”

“Well, I don't know”, you sigh, “is there even someone like that here?”

“I don't know”, Miyeon says, “you need someone charming, someone who people can't take their eyes off”

“It won't be good if he's already known, it should be someone who's usually invisible”, Mina completes.

You sigh, there's only one person you can think of who instantly fits that description.

“What about him?” Miyeon takes you out of your thoughts, pointing to someone behind you. “Isn't he part of 3racha?”

“I mean, he fits what we are looking for”, Mina says.

You turn around, finding the guy you bumped on a few days ago sitting at the table behind you, you're sure you can remember his name if you just try a little harder. He's sitting with Changbin, the other guy from 3racha who is kind of your friend.

“But is there something for you to do there?” Mina looks at him with squinted eyes, trying to see how you could improve him.

“He's cute”, you check him out shamelessly, nodding to yourself.

“I'm not sure if you could make Seunghoon jealous with cuteness”, she shrugs.

“He's not just cute”, you bit your bottom lip, thinking hard. “He could use a different haircut and maybe a new wardrobe but I see a lot of potential in there”

“Well”, Mina sighs in defeat, “let's make a bet them”

“Are you in middle school?” You ask her, rolling your eyes.

“If you can make Seunghoon regret cheating on you, I'll give up on trying for cheer captain next semester”, she ignores your question, stretching her hand for you to shake it.

“As if you were going to win anyway”, you joke.

Of course she could win, Mina is your best friend and also the best dancer you know, she could easily steal your position if you didn't try so hard to keep it, so you do what you have to do, shaking her hand even though you don't have a good feeling about it.

It's been a few days since you decided to make Jisung your new boyfriend, you just haven't figured out how to approach him. For starters, you can't even find him in this damn university, how the hell can a member from a trio as popular as 3racha just walk around without being noticed? That's a mystery you'll have to solve later.

“Jisung? Why would you want me to set you up with him?” Changbin asks, confused.

“Well, I find him cute”, you shrug, that's not a lie.

“He's not your type, he's totally different from Seunghoon”, he stares at you with a brow raised, sipping from his drink.

“Why would I want someone like Seunghoon? My reputation is almost ruined because of that guy”, you say.

“You got a point”, Changbin sighs, “let me talk to him first”, he can feel something is up but with all the mess happening in his life already, he doesn't have the energy to dig any deeper.

Jisung stares at his friend for about five minutes, no words being said. Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like him?

He's pretty popular because of 3racha, but not near as popular as you or your friend group. Everyone knows he's an awkward guy, when he's on stage his personality changes, he's confident, it feels great, like he could conquer the world, but when he goes back to real life, he just doesn't feel the need to be perceived. Jisung doesn't have a reason to be popular outside of the stage, he's fine with being invisible.

“So, what do you think?” Changbin asks.

“I don't know”, Jisung shrugs.

“Think carefully, it's not everyday that someone like y/n wants to go on a date with an ordinary guy”, the older one insists.

Well, maybe he likes being ordinary. He always thought he wouldn't be like those guys who would do anything for a pretty girl, now it's his chance to prove it.

“You can tell her that I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it's a good idea”, Jisung says, confidently. Even though he wants to punch himself after saying it.

Changbin sighs.

“If you're sure about it”, he shrugs, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

What if he's just letting his prejudice get in the way of meeting someone nice? He sighs to himself, there's nothing he can do about it now.

Well, that's unexpected. Did you go so low as to be rejected by just anybody? How could Jisung not even accept a single date with you? Are you ugly? No, you're sure it's not that. Are you boring? It's not that either, of course. You don't think there's a single thing that would make him turn you down. Maybe you're not his type? No, you're everyone's type.

You won't give up, though. Han Jisung has too much potential for you to just leave him be, you're sure you can make him be even better than Seunghoon ever was. So you march to social studies, you asked Changbin who reluctantly told you that Jisung takes that class.

You enter the classroom earning a few glances, smiling kindly at the people you know and introducing yourself to the ones you don't.

Jisung is seated in the corner, writing something on his notebook, earbuds on. You walk up to him, sitting by his side and waiting for him to notice you, which doesn't take long. He feels a presence too close to him, making him turn to look at you.

He frowns, taking his earbuds slowly, trying to process your present so close to him.

“How can I help you?” He asks and you tilt your head, he's even cuter up close.

“I heard you turned me down”, you say, leaning over the desk to watch him.

“Yeah, sorry”, he shrugs nonchalantly, hurting your pride even more. He should feel at least a bit apologetic, shouldn’t he?

“What do I have to do for you to go out with me?” You push more. You even came here looking for him, you're not going to be discouraged just by a bit of indifference.

“Why do you want to go out with me anyway?” He frowns, it’s not that he doesn’t want to say yes, it’s just that every time that he feels tempted to actually lust over you his pride gets a little more hurt, did you think there was no chance of you being rejected by him?

“Well, I like you. You're cute”, you tell him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“You don't even know me”, he scoffs, ignoring the fact that you called him cute.

“That's exactly why I want to go out with you, dummy. So I can get to know you better”, you smile, knowing he won't be able to get out of this situation without telling you why he won't go out with you.

“Well, you’re not my type”, he clears his throat, adjusting himself on his seat and trying to sound convincing, you’re clearly everyone’s type. “And I don’t think we would have much to talk about”

You’re going to fight him on this, argue that you’re a very interesting person that can talk about a lot of things, but the professor enters the classroom, eyeing you and tilting his head in confusion, since you passed this class last semester.

“I’m going to let it go for now”, you stand, “but don’t think you’re getting rid of me”, you huff, walking out of the class. He sure is stubborn, but you’re more.

Jisung feels like he's in those movies with a stalker following him around. You know, when the protagonist is sure that someone is watching them but every time they look around there's no one there? Except that in his case, you're always there. Every place he goes has you in it, glaring at him.

You're not actually glaring at him, even though he thinks you're. You're just shocked that he still hasn't come around to accepting going out with you, so you have to stare at him because you have to understand him. Why is he so different from the other guys? Of course you don't think you're better than anyone, but since news of your break up with Seunghoon broke out, your phone has been blowing up with texts from guys you didn't even know had your number, saying weird things and asking you out. So why is the only person you want to hear from, not giving a shit about you?

You ask Changbin's help but he refuses to meddle anymore than he already has, saying that he knows your intentions are not entirely good so he won't help anymore.

“Did you know we have a class with your new crush?” Mina says while looking at herself in the mirror of the clothes store you're visiting.

“What?” You take your eyes out of your phone to look at her, you have been staring at your screen for thirty minutes, trying to fight the urge to just call Jisung. He gave you his number so you could charge him with the repair of your broken phone but you already had it fixed, maybe you could use that little incident to your advantage.

“We have French with him, you chose Spanish, right?” Miyeon asks, looking around to see if she likes anything.

“Are you for real?” You ask and she looks at you, nodding. “Do you think there are still open spots in your class?” You ask, lost in thoughts.

“You're not going to switch classes just so you can get close to him, right?” Mina turns around to look at you, a brow raised in questioning. “Right?” She presses after you don't answer.

“I kinda prefer French though”, you smirk, standing up. “The school's office is still open now, isn't it?” You ask and both of your friends exchange looks, sighing and shaking their heads, sure that you're a lost cause.

It was not difficult to switch classes, you used up all your charm with the office’s secretary so she wouldn't argue too much about it. You just need a warm smile, some tiramisu and to compliment her nails.

You enter the class smiling victoriously, seeing your friends seated side by side and finding Jisung sitting alone in the back. You waltz over there, putting your things on the desk and sitting by his side.

Jisung takes a deep breath, side eyeing you for a moment.

“Are you serious right now?” He sighs, “you know you can't just keep coming to my classes, right? That's lowkey stalking”, he argues, making you chuckle.

“I don't know what you're talking about”, you shrug, “I'm enrolled in this class”, you tell him, pulling a paper with your schedule printed on it and showing it to him. “This is the only spot available”

He looks around to check, biting his bottom lip, embarrassed. He should have checked before assuming things but that doesn't change the fact that you have been around him too much lately.

“Okay”, he sighs, fidgeting on his seat.

“If I'm really making you uncomfortable I can find somewhere else to sit”, you say, even though you want to make him give in and accept to go out with you, you don't want him to feel genuinely bothered by you.

Jisung on the other hand feel likes he can give in at any moment, the second time he saw you looking at him he wanted to stand up and just go to you, telling you he would accept to go out with you, fuck his pride.

“It's okay”, he clears his throat, “You can sit whatever you want”, he says, making you smirk.

“I mean, are you sure?” You lean in his direction, glancing at his lap.

Jisung chokes immediately, coughing so much he thinks he's going to die, you didn't mean what he thinks you do, right?

Class starts before you can mess with him a little bit more, you didn't think you would have so much fun teasing someone.

Jisung stands up and leaves as soon as the professor says the class ended, he doesn't want to stay close to you for a minute more. He couldn't pay attention to class because your scent kept coming his way. He would glance at you and you wouldn't even be acknowledging him, paying 100% of attention in class. It did make him upset that he didn't seem to cause the same reaction in you as you do to him.

Except that, as stated before, you're very good at pretending. You really wanted to tease him every time you caught him staring at you, you could see everything he was doing with your peripheral vision and you wanted to giggle with every time he pouted while looking at you.

That's proof enough for you that not being his type it's not the reason why he's reluctant to go out with you but you didn't even think about the possibility of him not liking girls at all.

“As far as I know, he does like girls”, Changbin tells you. “I'm not sure about guys though, maybe he does too?”

“Well, that's good then”, you sigh, crossing your arms and nodding to yourself, lost in thoughts.

Changbin stares at you for a moment, with a brow raised. “Binnie, can't you help me out? Just this once” You plead again, giving him puppy eyes.

“Nope, I'm not sure what your intentions are but what I know is that you don't do things without a reason”, he shakes his head.

You sigh, poking the inside of your cheek with your tongue, you know how to convince Changbin but it's the first time in your life that you have to resort to such dirty methods.

“You know, I met someone really nice one of these days”, you tell him, smiling friendly. “She's really cute and she has been helping me in a class we have together”, Changbin glares at you. “I think you know her, but she doesn't seem to like you at all…” You pout, making a show.

“What are you trying to say?” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I'm trying to say that if you help me out, I can do the same”, you shrug, “you have so many virtues, Binnie, I'm confident I can make her see you in a different light”

You can at least try to convince her that Changbin is a good guy even though she's absolutely sure that he's bad news.

“Are you saying I should sell out my best friend so you can help me?” You see Changbin hesitate and that's when you push a little more.

“Come on, it's not like I'll do something awful to him”, you say, “I just want one date”

He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, alright”, he grunts. “I'll help you out just this one time and that's it”

“You're the best!” You say, clapping your hands excitedly.

This is definitely not how you thought the help would happen. The sun is burning your skin and the giggles of people around you are making you stressed. A pool party, why did he think this was going to be a good idea?

Just because you're at the same party as Jisung it doesn't mean you'll get a chance to talk to him or even accomplish your goal but even though the odds are against you, you are still going to try.

The day is too hot, the pool is bustling with people and you're uncomfortable in your bikini. In most days you love your body, you think you're pretty just the way you are but sometimes you have bad days, where you feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw you have.

You came to the party because you couldn't lose the opportunity but you can't see Jisung anywhere and your anxiety is only growing bigger. So as soon as you get the chance to escape, you do it. You wander around the frat house, looking for a place with no one, maybe Changbin's room is empty since he pretty much doesn't live in the house.

You walk up the stairs, swerving in the middle of the crowd who are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands, it's very overwhelming.

The corridor where the rooms are have less people, so you walk until the end to find Changbin's nameplate on the door. You knock twice to make sure there's no one there, the music in the pool is pretty loud so you can't hear if there are voices in the room but you wait a few seconds so people can get dressed if there is someone fucking there. You open the door slowly, finding the room empty. Hurrying inside and closing the door so no one sees you going in.

It's a pretty huge room with things that suit Changbin's personality to a T. There's gym equipment all over the place, a big bed in the middle, a door you can only guess leads to a private bathroom and a TV that you're not sure was ever used. But again, your friend only comes by the house once in a while since he lives in an apartment downtown with Chan and Jisung.

Changbin managed to convince Jisung that it would be a good way to promote 3racha if they threw a party and it didn't take much convincing to the frat president since that guy loves partying.

You sit by the bed, trying to take deep breaths. The burning sensation in your chest is easing a bit with the calm and silence of the room. Silence that is immediately interrupted by the door of the bathroom being opened, just to show a half naked Han Jisung coming out of there with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

You two stare at each other for a minute, both not sure what to do next, both frozen. You manage to stand up, turning your back to him, face burning with embarrassment.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know there was someone already here”, you clarify. “I- I knocked on the door”, you inform him as if that could change anything.

Jisung finds your reaction funny, he didn't take you for the shy type, who gets flustered by seeing a man like this.

“I was showering, I didn't hear the knock”, he says, walking to Changbin's wardrobe to get some clothes he leaves there for eventual emergencies since the frat house is closer than his house to the university.

“Yeah, I guessed that”, you gulp, trying to calm your beating heart. You didn't get to take a good look at him, but the little you did made you quite surprised. Jisung is pretty athletic and hot.

“You can turn around now”, he says. You do it slowly, still embarrassed.

“I'm sorry again”, you sigh.

“It's okay, it can happen”, he shrugs, sitting on the bed. He can't help but look at you too for a moment, you're wearing a deep green bikini that goes perfectly with the tone of your skin. You have a thin transparent shirt that doesn't leave much to the imagination making him bite his bottom lip. If you try to make a move on him again right now, he won't be able to say no.

However, his not very pure thoughts are interrupted by your uneasiness, shifting your weight from a leg to another, hands trying to cover your thighs. Did he look at you for too long? Did he make you uncomfortable? Jisung diverts his gaze from you immediately, he's always proud to say that he's not the same as the other guys who are just horny and nothing more, but look at him now.

“I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable”, he stands up, ready to leave the room, “I'm sorry”

“No, you didn't make me uncomfortable”, you say, taking a step closer to him to stop him from leaving. “I was already feeling not great”, you clarify.

“Did something happen?” He asks, worried.

“No- I-”, you stop yourself from talking more, why do you actually want to talk to him about your problems? You don't even know him. “I'm having a bad day, my self esteem is kinda low so I feel like everyone is staring at every single flaw I have”

Jisung stops for a moment, malfunctioning. His head tilting to the side as he stares at you with furrowed brows.

“Exactly which “flaws” are we talking about?” He asks, making quotes with his fingers.

“I don't know”, you glance down to your feet, feeling embarrassed. “There are so many girls here who are much prettier than me”, you sigh, “oh, I'm not jealous of them, they are great. I'm a huge activist of women hyping up other women”, you add quickly. “Usually I won't let myself compare to other people, but when I'm having one of these days I just can't help to think things like: is my hair pretty enough? Should I go on a diet? Maybe I should hit the gym more often so I can look like that”, you sigh, you sound ridiculous. You are supposed to make him want to go out with you, not scare him with all your insecurities.

Jisung stares at you for a few seconds, realization hitting him. So you're human too, he already knew that, but seeing the pretty and popular y/n come out of the pedestal people built for her, makes him believe that maybe you're very different from what he thought about you.

“I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this”, Jisung clears his throat, trying to not sound like an idiot, “but I think you're pretty and even though you may have some flaws, everyone has. I can assure you yours are not in your looks”

You feel your cheeks growing hotter, that's surprising, a guy never managed to make you blush.

“But you said I'm not your type”, you pout, seizing the opportunity to tease him.

“Well, I had to say something so you would stop coming after me”, he sighs, “clearly it didn't work”

“So, will you go out with me?” You ask, hopeful and he sighs.

“Why do you want to go out with me so badly?”

“I already told you, you're cute. Also, you make me feel at ease”, it's not a lie. Jisung is the first person other than your friends that effortlessly makes you comfortable.

“Fine”, he huffs, “I already gave you my number so just text me”, he tells you and you smile, is this finally happening? Did he finally say yes?

You planned a whole date in an amusement park, it's cliche for a first date, although you never really went on a date there. You have never done this before for any guy you dated, but there's something about Han Jisung, you just want him to like you.

He's waiting for you in front of the park, looking nervous while scrolling through his phone. You bend down a bit, tilting your head to make him notice you.

“Hey”, you smile waiting for his greeting that doesn't come. Jisung is not easily impressionable but you just leave him speechless every time, he always takes a few seconds to take in your beauty before his brain starts functioning again.

That's the reaction you wanted from him and you are glad you managed to get it. You spent almost four hours getting ready, changed outfits at least ten times and did and redid your makeup over and over. In the end, you chose a natural look. You put on a tight high waisted skirt, a tank top and sneakers since you would be walking a lot. Your hair is down and your make-up is light, so it won't get smudged by hot weather.

“H-hi”, Jisung says, trying to recompose himself, he's not sure if he should comment on how pretty you look or if that would make you uncomfortable.

He can't help but think that it's wrong of him to be there with someone like you, someone totally out of his reach.

“What should we do first?” You ask excitedly, it's been years since the last time you went to an amusement park with your family.

“I think we can walk for a bit and see what catches our attention”, he says and you nod, walking into the park.

There are so many people, Jisung can't help but notice how you're looking around like a child getting to know a new place.

“Do you come often to these kinds of places?” He asks.

“Hm, not really”, you answer, turning around to look at him. “The last time was when I was a child probably”

“Oh?” He frowns. “You seemed excited, I thought your ex boyfriend must have brought you here at least a few times”

“Yeah, well, he was not really the romantic type”, you shrug, a sad smile on your lips.

Jisung doesn't like that, you always look confident and happy, he doesn't want to see you sad again.

“He is an idiot then”, he avoids your gaze, looking around while speaking, “If I had a girlfriend like you, I would move heavens and earth to make her happy”

You feel your heart skip a bit, your cheeks growing warmer and in a few seconds your whole face is burning. You can't believe Han Jisung is making you blush again, saying these words that are messing with your heartbeat.

“Should we go to the haunted house?” You ask awkwardly, trying to change the subject, pointing to the building at the end of the park. You try not looking at him, not sure if your cheeks are still red.

He hums, not really understanding why you look so flustered, he's sure you must hear this kind of thing all the time.

You two enter the house, looking around while walking into the dark. You were very confident in the beginning, you love horror movies, but jump scares are really not your cup of tea and that's the problem. The moment a doll(you assume) holding a knife with a ghost face mask pops out of nowhere you jump… into Jisung's arms. The way his arms immediately wrap around you in a protective position does something to your heart and honestly you feel hot all over.

You didn't even notice the little scares he got, or how he squeezed you every time some scary character showed up. The only thing you noticed was his unexpected strong arms embracing you the whole time until you left the haunted house.

Jisung didn't want to let you go. The moment he felt the cold breeze touching his skin, he knew he had to step back, you are not scared anymore. But he just doesn't want to. You look fragile, shy, endearing. Jisung shakes his head, he shouldn't be thinking this, he thought he would be immune to your charms, but it turns out that he understands now why all those guys fawned over you.

He tries taking a step back, threatening to get away from you but you snuggle closer to him, a hand swinging fast to your shoulder so you could grip his hand in place.

“Can- can you keep holding me for a bit?” You ask awkwardly, not really wanting to look him in the eye.

You had no idea you missed being touched this much, you never noticed how cold Seunghoon’s touch was until you felt Jisung's warm hands on you. You're embarrassed for looking so fragile in front of him but not enough for you to let go, not at that moment.

“Yeah, sure”, he tells you, coming closer again and squeezing you against his chest. “Should we walk around for a bit?”

You nod, too lost in his scent to say anything.

Jisung felt strange for a moment. He's not used to letting his instincts take control, he's a very restrained guy. But he can't help but peek at your thighs when the skirt you're wearing rides up a bit, you're tiptoeing while trying to shoot the target with the water gun you have in your hands, like that would help you win.

“Do you really want that plushie?” He asks when you lose once more. “You could probably buy a better one with the money you're spending”, he points out and you pout.

“Where's the fun in that?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. “It's so much more exciting to win the prize”

Jisung finds you cute, you are just so different from all the rumors and how he thought you would be. Other than being someone who's high and mighty or arrogant, you're cute and funny.

Defeated, he sighs, paying for another round. This time he's the one trying.

It's difficult the first time. He never played this game so he has to get used to and understand how to win.

Jisung doesn't notice but you're not looking at the booth or to the target, you're looking at his face. He looks more handsome when he's focused, he has his lips pressed in a thin line and his grip on the water gun makes you shudder just thinking about how that grip would feel on you.

After a few tries, Jisung wins, asking you to choose what plushie you want.

“That one”, you point to the big quokka hanging in the wall. “It looks a bit like you”, you say when you get the plushie, lifting enough so you can compare it with Jisung.

“I'm cuter”, he pouts.

“Definitely”, you assure him, hugging your new plushie while Jisung’s ears grow hotter.

“Should we go to the ferris wheel?” He asks, looking at the time. It'll probably be your last ride since it's already late.

“Yes!” You jump excitedly, “I never had the chance before”, you say while you two walk in the direction of the big attraction.

“Not even when you were a child?” He asks, remembering you said that was the last time you went to an amusement park.

“My parents are not very fun to be around and my little brother was too young”, you say, shaking your head, “I was never very proficient in doing things by myself so I just didn't go”, you shrug.

Jisung feels that there's more to unpack into that topic, but he's not sure if you want to talk about it with him or right now. So he just slides his arm over your shoulder, surprising you by his bold move. You can feel your cheeks growing hot, are you blushing again?

When you hear the gears turning, excitement spreads all over your body but as soon as the cabin stops in the air, you're not so confident anymore.

“It's quite high, isn't it?” you say, looking down, feeling a little dizzy.

“Are you afraid of heights?” Jisung asks, panicked, seeing your face turning pale.

“No, of course not”, you shake your head frantically while shrinking in your seat, “I can't, I'm always at the top of the pyramid in our cheer stunts”, you tell him.

A sudden wave of air brushes over the cabin, making it shake slightly and you turn even more pale if that's even possible.

“You know it's different right?” He grabs you by the arm, pulling you closer to him. Jisung slides one of his hands on your waist, squeezing you close to him and with the other hand he cups your face, making you look at him. “Keep looking at me, you don't have to look down”

Jisung doesn't know why he feels this urge to protect you, of all the people he knows, you're probably the one he thinks needs the least protection. You keep staring at him, he is pretty, his lips are plump and inviting.

“Are you going to kiss me?” You ask when he licks his lips, huge doe eyes staring at him and waiting.

“Do you want me to?” He asks back, not really sure of what to do. Jisung is not certain, his heart is beating fast and his hands are sweating, you look so beautiful, so close to him.

So when you nod, he just loses control of every part of himself that was holding him back. He's sure after this, there's no going back, he's lost forever, but maybe he doesn't mind if it means it's you he's lost in.

His lips are soft, clumsily pressing against yours. You can tell he's unsure of how to proceed then why does his grip on you make you burn? He's squeezing your waist against his body like you're going to disappear if he doesn't hold you strongly and the hand he has cupping your cheeks, slowly slides to your hair, pulling it lightly, making you whimper.

In an instant his lips are not on yours anymore, he's trailing kisses down to your neck. You shiver, feeling his warm lips against your cold skin.

“Ah, Ji-Jisung”, you gasp when he bites your neck, sucking the area so deliciously it makes you bite your lips so you won't moan.

He hears your plea, kissing you once again and you notice you are the one that didn't know how to proceed. You've been squirming in his hands this whole time without touching him at all. You take a hand to his face, caressing his cheek and the other goes to his hip, pulling you even closer to him but before you can go further, the shake of the cabin going back down takes you out of your haze. You're in public, you had absolutely forgotten about that.

You stop the kiss, giving a peck on his lips before moving away. He looks disheveled, lips swollen and eyes searching for yours in an attempt to know exactly what you are thinking. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Now that he got a taste of something he should have remained oblivious to, he's not sure he'll be able to let go.

The ride home was awkward, to say the least. You are silent the whole time and Jisung is freaking out. He can't help but think he screwed up really badly. How the hell could he make you lose all interest with just a couple of kisses? Did he go too far by giving you a hickey? Maybe you don't like this kind of thing, you're a cheerleader after all, your image is important.

You on the other hand, have too many thoughts running through your mind, never did a man make you feel so desired with just a kiss. The way he embraced you so possessively was too much for you, Seunghoon never did anything like that. You were always the one searching for his touch, for some affection but it was never quite enough. His touches never really gave you what you wanted, you always thought it was weird, you thought maybe there was something wrong with you.

But how could Jisung make you feel so many things with a simple touch? A simple kiss? You're so lost in thoughts that you don't even notice when the car stops.

“We’re here”, Jisung says, not really looking at you.

You look at him, seeing him biting his bottom lip while squeezing the wheel.

“I had fun”, you tell him, shyly. His head snaps at you, a deep scowl on his face.

“You did?” He asks confused and you giggle, tilting your head.

“Yeah”, you bite your bottom lip, leaning over him without breaking eye contact. “I thought I made it clear by almost melting in your arms while you kissed me”, you tease, seeing his ears growing red.

“I thought maybe I did something wrong, you were quiet”, he looks at you waiting for some more reassurance.

“I'm sorry”, you cup his face, caressing his cheek, “it's been a long time since I felt the way you made me feel, I needed time to recover”, you tell him, pulling him in for a brief kiss.

“Wait, but what about-”

“That's what I'm telling you”, you chuckle, bitterly, “can you imagine feeling more in a night than you ever felt in a year with someone else? It really makes a girl think”

“Ah”, he nods, understanding what you're saying now. “Then, can I call you when I get home?” He asks eagerly, now that he knows that you did enjoy your time with him.

“I'd be mad if you didn't”, you give a peck on his lips, getting out of the car and walking to your front door, waving goodbye to him.

Walking into your empty house you come back to reality. For a moment, just a moment, while having fun with Jisung, you forgot how lonely you really are. It's always been like this, you're already used to it.

Your parents always wanted a boy, so it was disappointing for them when they had a girl. They tried for years to have a boy, getting more and more frustrated as time went by. You were five when they finally made it, their desired son was born and you were left aside.

It's not like they gave you any attention before, but after your brother was born, you were completely forgotten. The first time you went to an amusement park was when you were eight. It was your birthday and you begged them to take you there but in the end you couldn't really enjoy anything. Your brother was too little to play in anything and your parents didn't really want to play with you.

You feel a single tear run down your cheek but you shake your head, you shouldn't be doing that right now. You had fun with Jisung but that's that, you don't want another heartbreak the same as with Seunghoon.

You feel your phone buzzing, taking it out of your pocket to see Jisung's name lightening the screen and an involuntary smile grows on your lips, completely ignoring what you just thought.

“Hey, did you arrive safely?” You ask, walking up the stairs.

“Yeah”, he says, not sure why exactly he wanted to call you. He already said goodnight to you, did he want to hear your voice again? Why is he being so weird tonight?

“Okay, that's good”, you chuckle, putting the phone on speaker to start undressing.

Jisung sits in his bed, he knows you're probably tired but he doesn't want to hang up.

“What are you doing?” He asks, hearing the shuffle on the other side of the line.

“I'm changing”, you answer nonchalantly, not knowing how red his whole face turns the moment you finish saying that.

He doesn't say anything, making you look to the phone to check if he's still there.

“Want some pictures?” You ask playfully, making him choke on his own breath, coughing violently.

“No, I mean we- we just had our first date- I- I don't want you to think- it's too soon”, he rambles saying all that in half a second, making you laugh genuinely while you wander around your room.

You snap a picture of yourself, sending it to him and he freezes when he sees the notification. When he opens the text though, you're wearing a cute pajama with bees stamped on it, making him laugh too.

“You're cute”, he says and you stop in your tracks.

“It's been years since someone last called me cute”, you pout, sliding under your covers.

Jisung guessed that much, your type of beauty is not on the cute side. You have sharp features, most people could say you're on the sexy side and he would too, before tonight. Now, under the cover of a popular hot girl, he found a girl who's hot and popular but can be cute and funny too.

“Goodnight, y/n”, he says, throwing himself back in the bed.

“Goodnight”, you say, feeling your eyes heavy after hearing his goodbye.

Part 2

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

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changetyre · 2 months ago

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How long? II Lando Norris X Reader ⓈⒾ

SUMMARY: Finding your soulmate doesn't always include a happy ending.

WARNINGS: Angst Angst Angst with a sprinkle of fluff. Sickness, death.

A/N: This is a story I wrote a while ago for Wattpad and which I always loved but reading it back now there's been things I've wanted to adjust which is what I chose to do here ;)

Lando POV II

"Tell me about her," she asked me passing me back our photo.

I looked at it, my thumb grazing over her in the picture I kept in my wallet.

_____

Y/N POV II

Lando and I've been together ever since I can remember. We met when we were only toddlers and became inseparable ever since. We both knew in our hearts how much we meant to each other, we knew that we couldn't live without each other. However, another part of us, and everyone around us, told us there would come a point where we'd meet other people.

And we did meet other people, in fact when I went to college and Lando joined F1 we both decided to try to date others and it was the most miserable time in both our lives. Which only reinforced our feelings, we were irrevocably in love.

We were aware that we were a very cheesy couple, the kind of people who just didn't care when people were around us and loved to show our love for one another no matter the time and/or place. We were the kind of couple to gift each other little things and have dinner dates every week. Land never failed to bring me flowers every weekend since we started dating.

Life felt like a dream when we were around each other, we literally felt like we were in the clouds, floating in our own bubble of love. But it didn't take long before it burst.

Given the amount of time Lando and I had spent together we had discussed anything you could possibly imagine and despite some thinking this was a horrible and selfish thought, when Lando and I talked about losing one another, we always thought he would go first...simply because of his job.

What Lando didn't know though was that every night and every time Lando went on track I would pray, pray for his safety, pray for his health, pray that if one of us had to go...for it to be me...because I could simply not live a life without him...the single thought made me choke up.

'Be careful what you wish for.'

One year ago I was diagnosed with Breast cancer. For some reason the news didn't come to me as much of a shock as I thought, it was like something in my mind and body had expected this, had somehow mentally prepared me for it. On the other hand, I could tell how much this devastated Lando, so much he'd set his mind on quitting F1 to care for me which I had to practically force him not to.

We had caught it early on and I only needed a few weeks of chemotherapy. Luckily the news came at the end of Lando's season, he would be home and he wouldn't get distracted on track.

Chemo was worse than anyone had ever described to me, it felt like I'd been completely stripped away from my own body and I was miserable but I knew I had to get through it, I tried to keep a smile all the way through it, for Lando, but I knew he could see right through me and he had as many sleepless nights as I did through it all.

Finally the last week of Chemo, everything was better. Lando was certainly brighter than before although I could tell he was still worried, I could see it in his eyes. Every time I'd say I was tired, huff, breath abnormally, or complain about any sort of pain I could tell Lando's heart skipped a beat.

It annoyed me at first because he constantly hovered, but I never said anything and eventually, I understood. I knew that if I was in his shoes I'd be exactly the same and now I found myself wondering whether I'd wished for the right position to be in because even though I was in pain physically...Lando was in pain too, even more than I was...and it broke my heart to see him go through it.

Now I wanted the season to start more than ever so Lando could put his focus and worry somewhere else other than me, and even though I worried that he might have an accident because of all this distraction I knew how much he adored driving and it was what he needed.

The start of the season went well, not as good as we expected but it was good enough and the boys still had the rest of the season left.

I was with Lando in Monaco for the race, I was so excited about having him race here in Monaco since we'd recently bought our apartment here and we hadn't been able to enjoy it because of my treatments.

It seemed like things were finally getting back to normal, Lando and I were floating back up in the clouds again and we were finally finding our rhythm again...it was almost too good to be true.

I was home making dinner for Lando and me, he'd texted he was almost home and I'd decided to make some food for us. The whole day I'd noticed I was particularly exhausted and I kept running out of breath doing simple things. I had just set the table when all of a sudden it felt like my lungs had disappeared.

I dropped to the ground in pain gasping with all my power for some air. I thought I was going to die right there and then all until I heard the door open.

"Y/N!" I heard Lando's panicked scream. "LOVE!"

He pulled me up and turned me towards him, I clutched my chest. "I can't breathe." I wheezed.

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" He screamed out.

And eventually, for me, everything went black.

I woke up on an all too familiar surface. I was in a hospital bed, all sorts of tubes and needles attached to me. I looked for Lando and saw he was outside talking to the doctor, I could see him through the window.

Lando was facing my way while the doctor's back was towards me. I could tell it was a serious conversation and as much as I tried to deny it I knew what was happening. The cancer was back...and this time it wasn't going away.

I saw the anger and pain in Lando's eyes as the doctor spoke to him, he argued. I imagined he kept asking for a solution that simply didn't exist. Lando held his tears in all until he locked eyes with me. I gave him a look letting him know it was okay, I knew and that was enough for him to break down.

The doctor simply patted his shoulder before walking away. Lando walked to the room wiping his tears away as best as he could. Once he came in I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"It's back-" he spoke in barely above a whisper.

"I know baby." I opened my arms for him and he broke down in tears again. I cried with him, not because of my pain but because of his.

"How long?" I asked him after a few minutes.

Lando kept his head buried in my chest but I could feel him shaking his head.

"Baby how long?" I repeated the question.

His head finally rose up, his eyes were swollen and the tears just kept coming. "They're not sure, he says it could be 6 months or a week." Lando's voice broke at the last words before he buried his face in my chest once more except this time he wrapped his arms around me holding me tightly as if I could slip away at any second.

"I love you..." he wept "I'm so sorry." these last words shattered me.

"I'm sorry too...I love you." I whispered to him as I kissed the top of his head.

"Baby I'm scared-" he whispered into my chest.

I didn't exactly know how to comfort him, I let Lando cry it out as much as he needed to while I tried to remain strong, I found myself pondering over how I felt, I wasn't scared but I was in pain, and I was so miserable for leaving Lando like this, we definitely didn't have enough time together.

___

The next morning once Lando had come back into my room with a cup of coffee I decided it was time to talk about the next step. I knew deep down Lando still wanted to push for a cure that simply didn't exist but I also knew I didn't want to spend another second stuck in these hideous grey walls.

"Baby I want to get out here," I spoke. I was prepared for a discussion.

Lando simply looked down and gave a shaky sigh. "I know...and I'll get you out." his lip quivered and I could see tears brimming up in his eyes again.

"You're not going to ask me to stay?" I needed confirmation.

Lando got up and walked over to me, he scooted me over and sat down on the bed. "The day I met you-" he took a deep breath trying to keep himself together. "I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to make you happy no matter what-" a tear slipped down his cheek. "I hope you know that if it was possible I'd take your place right now because seeing you like this..." another tear fell down his cheek. "it's been hell." I placed my hand on his cheek caressing it, I was crying too. "But I know you better than anyone and I know that you're not the kind of person to go out in a hospital room and I know you want to do as much as you can before you-" he stopped himself and his breath hitched. He couldn't say it.

"You're right." I quickly said not wanting him to finish because I could tell how hard it was for him. "I want to spend every second I have left with you, with the people I love, out of here." His lip quivered again as more tears left his eyes.

"Let's go then." Lando got back up starting to pack my things.

The news spread through the F1 world fairly quickly and I was flooded with pitiful messages all over my social media. Lando's friends from work who I'd grown close to didn't know what to say when I showed up in the paddock with them for the Monaco GP. Most of them simply gave me glances that spoke a thousand words.

Carlos, Alex, George, and Charles had all been incapable of holding their tears back as they saw me, giving me a hug that only existed for these situations.

After the Monaco GP, Lando and I found ourselves going to our favorite spots within Monaco, I was tired, so tired and I could feel death inching closer every day but I held on, I held on because...I knew he wasn't ready...I wasn't ready.

One morning I woke up to find Lando had planned a whole day for us and it all started at home. I'd walked to the living room to find Lando had prepared a very scrumptious breakfast. And he'd decorated our balcony with roses and candles.

We walked to it and there Lando got down on one knee, pulling out a small black box, which he opened to reveal a ring. My hands flew up to my mouth, I had always dreamed of this day but certainly not like this.

"My dearest y/n, I've imagined this very day over a thousand times in my head and I've come up with hundreds of speeches for this very occasion but it seems none of them would work for what we're going through now." His voice broke. "You have been the first and only woman in my life I have ever loved, you have been my best friend since day one, you've been my rock, my world, my everything and I simply do not want to spend another day not being able to call you my wife...so y/n, my love will you marry me?" I could tell he sped up the last bit to hold his tears back.

"Yes." I let him slip the ring on my finger before he rose up and we engulfed each other in a deep kiss.

"Propose...check" he pretended to hold a list and checked off the first point making me laugh.

"So what's next my fiancé," I asked him.

"Well, why don't we get going and I'll show you...my fiancé." he gave me another kiss.

Lando took me shopping for a bit before he drove us both back home. I'd noticed something else had been set up and once I walked into our room I found a wedding dress hanging in our closet. I gasped admiring the dress, it was simple but beautiful.

"Pietra helped me pick it out for you, we tried getting a more over-the-top one but apparently you can't just buy dresses like that overnight." he shrugged.

"It's beautiful." you admired the dress.

"Well you better get dressed, and I'll do the same. I'm going to get dressed somewhere else and when the time comes your driver will be here." he winked.

"Wait what?" I was confused.

"Just be ready in 2 hours...I love you." he gave me a quick peck on the lips before walking out. I got dressed and ready as best as I could with the time I had left, I did a simple hairstyle, partly because I was never good at doing my hair and partly because I barely had the strength to keep my arms up for longer than 3 seconds.

20 minutes before the 2 hours were up I heard a knock at the door. I opened it and Pietra, Alexandra, Lily, and Carmen were all standing there in matching dresses. You looked at them confused but on the brink of tears because of how beautiful they looked. "Did I die already?" I joked, and they laughed but I could tell the thought pained them.

"You look beautiful." P had to pat her eyes as she looked at me. I had naturally grown closest to her because of the brotherhood between Max and Lando.

"Thank you for doing this?" I had to hold my tears back too.

"Let's go." Alex and Lily extended their hands out for me and I took them walking out with them. We walked downstairs and Carlos was waiting in an Aston Martin DB6 Volante, that had been decorated with white flowers.

We arrive at the beach to find it prepared for a ceremony, all of Lando's friends from the paddock and his friends from Quadrant were there, as well as both our parents. I just about started crying there and then.

I got out of the car and Carlos stood there offering me his arm guiding me to one end of the carpet that had been rolled out. I saw Lando at the other end and tears quickly brimmed my eyes. As soon as he laid eyes on me it didn't take him half a second before he started crying too, Max Fewtrell quickly stepped in to hand him a handkerchief even though he was shedding a few tears too.

Without You by Harry Nilson started playing, and it was enough for me to let my tears run free. Carmen handed me a bouquet of roses and I began walking down the aisle, and for some reason, all my strength seemed to leave me right there and then.

I stumbled causing everyone to try to jump forward to grab me, My mom caught me, I could see the concern and the pain in her eyes but she also understood I needed to keep going. She wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me down the aisle.

And now it's only fair that I should let you know what you should know...I can't live, if living is without you...I can't live, I can't give anymore.

The song reached this part just as I reached him, he wrapped his arms around me, letting his forehead rest on mine.

"You look beautiful." he sniffled.

I placed my hand on his cheek before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "Let's get married," I whispered to him.

The ceremony was short, Lando had wanted to arrive at the vows quickly and once we did he pulled out a sheet of paper, a tear was already rolling down his cheek.

"My best friend, my rock, my first love, my only love, my life, my world, my everything, these words don't come remotely close to describing what you are to me. I hope you know I consider myself the luckiest man on earth to have met you, to have loved you, to have cared for you, and to have married you-" he chocked up. "But although I thought it was impossible...as much as I feel the luckiest man...I feel the unluckiest too." he looked up to meet my eyes completely distraught. "It's unfair the world is taking you away from me when our love story has only just begun, all the dreams, all the plans, all the promises I have yet to fulfill to you will stay here while you will go." he gulped down, he had a knot in his throat. "I will cherish, love, and protect you for the rest of the time we have left together, I will continue bringing you flowers every weekend, I'll wake you up with kisses in the morning, I'll make you smile and laugh every day, and most importantly I will, with all my power, do my best to keep you happy." he finished.

I leaned forward giving him a long kiss on the cheek, now it was my turn and since this was all unexpected I hadn't prepared anything but already had enough to say.

"My Lando...you have made me the happiest woman on earth since the day I met you. You are the most loyal, hardworking, loving, fun man I have ever known and I consider myself the luckiest woman on earth to have fallen in love with you. And the luckiest woman for you will be the first, last, and only man I will ever love." Lando's lips quivered as I said those words, a sob escaping his lips. "I will forever be sorry that we didn't get more time together, that I couldn't give you what we had so long hoped for, a life, kids, to grow old together." I cleared my throat having to compose myself. "I wish there was more I could do to keep you happy in the time I have left my darling, I can't promise you much, but I promise that I will love you with every fiber of my body and soul until my last breath." I ended.

We were pronounced husband and wife and Lando pulled me in for a long deep kiss, mixed with both our tears.

It was the most perfect day of my life, surrounded by so much love from our families and friends, surrounded by so much happiness. Once the moon was out and the tide started rising things started getting packed up but Lando and I decided to take a walk along the beach.

We walked in silence, simply appreciating and cherishing each other's company. Once we were nearing the end of the beach I had to speak about what was on my mind.

"Lando." I started.

"No." he immediately replied.

"Baby-" I was going to keep going.

"I know what you're going to say and you can't ask me that-" he spoke softly but I could hear the anger and hurt in his voice.

"Lando listen to me please-" I stopped making Lando turn to me. He looked down and he was crying silent tears. "After I'm gone I need you to promise me you will keep going no matter how hard or painful it is...I want you to give your career 1000% percent like you always have...and someday whenever you're ready I want you to find someone who will make you happy, who will take care of you, who you will fall in love with and start a family with-" I spoke clearly, this was a thought I'd head since the first time I'd found out I was sick.

"No, I can't." He replied sniffling.

"Yes you can and you will," I assured him.

"How will I ever love someone as I love you..." he locked eyes with me.

"I'm not asking you to love someone as you love me. But you will learn to love again, I just want you to promise you will not shut yourself out, you need to keep going...for me." I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, with one hand I wiped the tears from under his eyes.

He looked at me unsure and simply nodded, I knew he didn't mean it right now but it was as much reassurance as I would get from him for now.

"I'll never find anyone like you." He spoke once we'd started walking back.

"Maybe not, but you will find someone, there's plenty of women out there Lando, amazing, beautiful, incredibly talented women and I'm sure there's someone else for you." the mood had livened up a little bit.

____

LANDO POV II

The next morning I woke up...she didn't. She'd passed in her sleep, in my arms. A smile was still on her lips. I knew she was gone but I still tried to wake her, I still needed her to wake up.

I was inconsolable for months after her death, and my friends and my family had to help me back to my feet. Literally, because it was as though all my strength, all my will to live had died with her that day.

"She made me promise her that I would find someone else, that I'd fall in love again." I stifled a laugh remembering our walk at the beach.

"She sounds like an amazing woman." She commented. She had a very genuine smile.

"She was...I never met anyone like her." I sighed, that ache in my heart was still very present but bearable now.

_____________

Bonus A/N:

If it serves as any consolation I cried my eyes out writing this story. .

#f1 angst #angst #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris angst #f1 x reader #changetyre #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #formula 1 #f1fic #f1

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ode2rin · 1 year ago

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MAKE YOU MINE .ೃ

pairing. itoshi rin x gn!reader

genre. best friends to lovers | pining | light angst to fluff

in which: rin was never ready, so he watches you go with your boyfriend, wishfully thinking it was him instead.

💭 thank you for the request @/saetorinrin (unaffectionate)!

best friends are supposed to knock some sense into you, that's what they're for.

fortunately for you, your best friend of twelve years, itoshi rin, has always been quite good at it. right now, you're hoping he'll at least be kind while doing so.

“i don't know why you keep on going back to him. he looks like a fucking bull reincarnate, and he treats you like what? yeah, like a pup he dogs around.”

that’s wishful thinking, though. none of rin's words are known for their kindness.

you've known since a tender age of ten that both itoshi brothers have a knack for colorful insults — or rather, they insist it's a form of descriptive artistry. moments like these make you wish you could smack your younger self for befriending your teal-eyed neighbors. you really should have avoided them like the plague from the very first glare they shot your way.

if you did, you wouldn't find yourself sitting on a swing in the park near both of your houses, while rin spends the past few minutes expressing his displeasure about you getting back with your ex.

but what’s done is done. growing up with them wasn't all bad, except for that messy fiasco between sae and rin that left you caught in the middle, trying to mend their broken bond.

in the end, you chose rin’s side. for what reason? that's a reminiscence best saved for another day.

right now, your priority lies in letting rin hear a piece of your mind for his way of describing your ex — or boyfriend? actually, you're not sure anymore.

“you’re being mean, rin.”

“and you’re being stupid, y/n.”

“you won’t get it.”

“won’t get what? that you’re being treated like absolute shit?”

that’s it. he pushed enough buttons now. you stood up from the swing to face the 6-foot tall man in front of you.

“you won't get it because you’ve never loved anyone before! and you sure as hell have never been fucking loved!”

rin, before this moment, was sure he's accustomed to pain.

but now, he realized he wasn't.

realizing what you've just said to your best friend, your eyes widen, and you immediately reach out to touch his arm, frustration turning into regret. you didn't mean that — god, you really didn't.

“rin, i... i didn't mean—”

“save it.”

you were right about the latter. but the former? rin wants nothing but to let you know otherwise. if only you goddamn knew. but that's just it for rin too — wishful thinking.

because you're not done loving your boyfriend, and he knows he's merely using that as an excuse. if honesty were to intervene, he wouldn't be ready to let you know.

how many years does one need to be ready to confess to their best friend of more than a decade anyway? he doesn't want to find out.

rin heard your whispered apology, and his heart sank. he watched as you lowered your gaze to the grass beneath your feet, the weight of regret palpable in the air.

“come on, it’s getting dark. let’s go home,” he suggested, voice tinged with concern.

“actually, he’s picking me up here. mom knows already.”

of course. of course, he's picking you up blocks away from your house. is that how things work now? if it were up to rin, he'd personally ask your mom to take you out on a monday evening. you know, like a respectful person would do?

yet again. if it was him. another wishful thinking.

“where the hell is he, then? i am not leaving you here,” rin stated, his frustration once again seeping through his words.

“he's just a little late —”

“or ditching you again?”

“rin, please. just leave. i don't want to start again,” you pleaded, the exhaustion evident in your voice.

“fine.”

every step rin took away from you felt like chains dragging along, pulling him back with reluctance and impending regret. but he knew he had to leave.

he didn't have a place to stay here, not in this park, and certainly not in your heart.

it had been a week since you got back together with your ex, and in that time, rin hadn't uttered a single word to you. his silence was a constant presence, weighing heavily on the air between you. in the past, you found solace in his silence, finding comfort in the unspoken understanding that existed between you. but now, it felt suffocating, as if every attempt to say his name would only add to the tension.

you didn't blame rin for giving you the silent treatment. after all, the hurtful words you had spoken had cut deep.

rin had been harsh, yes, but you knew it came from a place of concern. he was your best friend, and looking out for each other was what you do. deep down, you couldn't deny that there was some truth in what he had said about your boyfriend. there had been moments when he treated you poorly, but that was normal, right? every relationship had its ups and downs, and this was just one of them. and perhaps, in rin's eyes, you were being stupid, but when weren't you, in his opinion?

still, you should have known better. you shouldn't have said what you did. not when you know yourself that he’s been loved. even if it was hidden and unspoken, it still counted, didn't it?

but despite the silent treatment, rin never failed to walk you home. even when he was wearing his sweaty jersey after a rigorous practice, he would be there outside your classroom, waiting for you. walking behind you, not saying a word, but his presence was felt. occasionally, he would walk beside you, especially when you were about to reach the busy side of the neighborhood.

every single day of the past week, he had walked you home.

and even back then starting from the days of school, rin never lets you walk alone in the dark.

today, however, you had to tell him that you wouldn't be walking with him. you had a date with your boyfriend, and he was waiting for you outside the school.

grabbing your bag and heading towards the door, you caught a glimpse of rin's duffel bag and his back. he was waiting for you again. rushing over to him, you spoke up.

“rin, i won’t be able to walk with you today. we’re going out. he’s waiting for me outside.”

rin simply looked at you, then nodded. he turned his back to you, but you could swear there was something he wanted to say.

that was the thing with itoshi rin. he never spoke when you needed him to.

rin was right. he had always been right. and you, well, you were just fucking stupid.

as you reminisced about the earlier screaming match with your now ex-boyfriend, tears threatened to well up in your eyes.

i’m such a fucking idiot.

you had known deep down that you had settled, but you never expected him to stoop so low. part of you wanted to say good riddance, but the truth was that time spent with a person would always leave a mark, whether you wanted it or not.

it was past 9 pm, and that prick had the audacity to drop you four blocks away from your own house. you wanted to scream at him, to demand basic human decency, to drop you off at your doorstep. but another part of you, fueled by the remnants of pride, refused to beg for the bare minimum again. so, despite your nervousness about walking alone in the dark, you slammed the car door in his face and decided to walk the rest of the way on your own.

it had only been five minutes of walking when you felt the first raindrops fall on your forehead. the realization of what was about to happen made you want to scream at whoever was watching from above. how dare they make you this unlucky?

great. just great.

the drizzle quickly escalated into a full-blown rain, showing no signs of stopping any time soon. a few blocks ahead, you spotted the park where you and rin used to hang out.

even in your darkest times, he’s still in your mind. it’s funny as it is ironic.

if only you had stayed content with loving your best friend from afar, maybe you wouldn't be feeling this hurt, right?

maybe you wouldn't have ended up looking for love in all the wrong places when the only place you truly wanted it to blossom had been right beside you all along.

exactly ten minutes before rin’s usual bedtime, his phone rang, your name shown on the screen. and for some reason, he could feel his heart leap out of his chest from how fast it was beating.

something was wrong.

without wasting a second, rin answered your call on the second ring.

“hello?” he said, anticipation heavy on his heart. he needed to hear your voice.

but anticipation was immediately replaced by seething anger and heightened worry as he heard your sniffs on the other end of the line.

“where are you?”

“rin... i know you're mad at me, but i didn't know who else to call–”

“it's raining. where the hell are you?” rin's voice grew heavy with indescribable anger, each word dripping with his overwhelming emotions.

“he dropped me off near the school, but i'm here by the park now. i–”

"stay where you are. i'm coming. don't end the call. i need to know you're safe." or else i will fucking lose it.

it’s these times that rin was glad he’s an athlete. within five minutes, he arrived at the park, his strides quick and determined. he would have reached you even faster if it weren't for the umbrella he was holding and the sound of your sniffs and sobs on the other end of the line, causing his heart to sink and his steps to falter.

he doesn't even let a goddamn mosquito come close to you, but that asshole had the audacity to make you cry? how dare he.

the rain had lessened compared to its earlier downpour, it was now more of a drizzle. but if you had been here before calling him, that meant you had been standing under the rain for almost an hour. with that realization, rin thinks your ex should watch his back from now on; he would never know when a ball might come flying straight at him — accidentally, of course.

as rin reached the park, his eyes scanned the area, searching desperately for you. and there, in one of the benches, he saw you. your head was tucked into your knees, one hand hugging them tightly while the other clutched the phone to your ear.

he swore, he fucking swore, he could feel his heart pounding in his throat at the sight of you.

ever since you entered rin's life, you taught him a lot of things. you taught him everything about how life was better when you had someone to lean on.

but most of all, everything rin knew about love, he knew from you.

and when he realized he loved you but couldn't let you know, the love he knew became intertwined with all the pain he learned.

this is hurting him. you, you were hurting him.

maybe you were right all along.

“you're right, y/n,” rin whispered into the phone, his voice barely audible as he stood a few feet away from you, the umbrella slipping from his grasp. he still had his phone pressed to his ear.

rin couldn't hear anything but the pounding of his own heartbeat and the soft pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the ground.

how many damn years does it take to work up the courage to spill your guts to your best friend of more than a decade? rin found out that sometimes, all it takes is one look at them in pain to make you throw caution to the wind. screw all the timing and planning.

“rin…” you called out, looking around to locate him.

locked in a gaze, time seemed to stand still as rin's eyes traced the contours of your face. your eyes, red-rimmed and soaked from the rain, revealed what you had endured. your drenched clothes and disheveled hair painted a picture of you running around in this rain. he couldn't help but think that you looked like a wounded soul, stripped of your own heart.

“you're right,” he repeated once more, and he was certain you could hear him, judging by the look of confusion on your face.

it wasn't a “now or never” moment for rin.

it was a now or never love another soul ever again moment. because to rin, it will always be you and him in the end. and that’s no wishful thinking, but a promise he made to himself.

there will be no after you, but just you. that was it for itoshi rin.

so he has to let you know. the hell with what happens next.

“about last week, you’re right about that. i would never get it,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “i would never get how someone could ever treat you this bad by someone who claims to love you. because i have loved you since we were kids, and i would rather die than leave you out here alone in the pouring rain.”

if this was what you called love, then maybe you taught him wrong.

rin could see how your eyes widened at what he said. and right then and there, he prepared himself for the worst.

it’s happening.

rin ended the call. he couldn't bear to hear your immediate response, fearing the rejection he had long braced himself for. with the umbrella in hand, he made his way towards you, his eyes focused on the wet ground, avoiding direct contact with your gaze.

you can reject him later. he needs to get you home first.

“come on, let’s go,” was the only thing rin said. he placed the umbrella over your head, shielding you from the rain while he stood exposed, allowing the droplets to soak him further.

you gazed up at him, seeking his eyes, “can you look at me, rin?”

and see the look of pity in your eyes? even at these moments, you’re cruel to him.

“i don’t want to.”

undeterred, you persisted, “why?”

because i’m about to lose you.

“i made peace with it a long time ago,” rin admitted, “let's just go. you're going to get sick.”

“say it again.”

your gaze held unwavering, demanding more from him. there was a longing in your eyes, a hunger for honesty. you craved his words, his confession – you need rin to speak now or else you will never know peace.

“no.”

“then i’m not going anywhere. say it agai —”

“fine! i have loved you since we were kids and i have loved you ever since i'm yet to even know what it was i was feeling for you! now, please, let’s go!”

silence enveloped the park. but rin could hear his own heart beating in rhythm with the soft pitt patts of the rain.

this was it then? twelve damn years. all those years, now dissipating like raindrops lost in the drain.

the rain continued to pour, serving as a backdrop to the delicate dance of emotions unfolding between you. each droplet seemed to echo the passage of time, washing away the years of looking at you in a lovelorn gaze.

rin knew where this was headed. he may not have watched many romance movies, but confessions like these – he had seen them before. this was yet another addition to the countless stories of shattered dreams lost to the rain.

but then as fate would have it, it will always intervene.

and so, as if a radiant sun had broken through the stormy clouds, a smile bloomed on your face, casting away the shadows of doubt in rin's mind.

“i’ve been waiting for those words my whole life, itoshi rin.”

rainbows really do appear after the pouring rain.

but only for a fleeting grace of moment in the sky.

“but i can’t, rin. not now. i’m too hurt to love you freely.”

the confession escaped your lips, heavy with the weight of past heartbreak and lingering pain. and to rin, it felt as if the rainbows had faded, leaving behind a somber reminder of the scars etched deep within.

it would be a lie not to admit that he was disheartened, but nonetheless, rin understood.

but rin was no saint; he can be selfish. he wants to be selfish for you. so there he knelt, bringing himself eye to eye with you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks.

“i’ll wait. i can wait,” it’s not a lie that the younger itoshi had a penchant for being selfish as he is selfless.

but he has waited for you for as long as he has learned to kick a ball. so what's a little more?

“are you sure?” the question escaped your lips, a plea for reassurance.

if it means it’s you and him in the end after all, then he’s nothing but definite.

rin's hands on your cheeks tightened gently, his voice a gentle murmur that danced along the edges of your heart, “take all the time you need. by the time you're done, i'll make sure to make you mine.”

the raindrops, cascading around you like tears from the heavens, seemed to pause in reverence as rin's words hung in the air.

as the rain began to subside, rin leaned closer, his forehead gently pressing against yours. your eyes closed, feeling his breath mingling with yours, you hear him softly sighed against your lips.

“i’ll treat you so good, y/n. so good. fuck, you have no idea.”

sure, you’re the first person itoshi rin has ever loved. but he can show you. better than your shitty ex ever could.

if there’s anyone who can most definitely show you what love was truly like, it will be him.

for a few precious moments, time seemed to stand still as both of you remained in that intimate embrace, rin's hands tenderly cradling your face, and your gaze locked in the depths of his teal eyes.

“let’s go home?” rin asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“only if you’ll walk with me.”

rin's lips curled into a small, affectionate smile at your hushed response. he reached out, extending his hand toward you, a silent invitation. “i've been doing that for the past years.”

and he’ll continue to do it.

few years from now, he will make sure he’s the man you’re walking with. be that on the way home, or down the aisle.

because to itoshi rin, it will always be you and him.

note. no thoughts, just pure vibes here. just kidding! here's the first request in my milestone event, and i enjoyed writing this despite it being shitty as an outcome. thanks for reaching this far!

💭 back to: milestone event

#☁️ my ode to you #first milestone event!#writing: 001 #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock fluff #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 4 months ago

Note

Hi I was wondering if I could request ✨ where Donna and reader already have a child that’s already maybe 5 or more? and they keep bringing up and begging about having a sibling so one night Donna takes matter into her own hand a.k.a smut…

g!p Donna please? 🙏

hopefully this didn’t make you uncomfortable 😭 and I hope you have a wonderful day 💕☀️

Yessss!!!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :)))))

Wishes

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, smut, Minors DNI, fluff…

Word count: 6,071

Summary: Your daughter wants someone to play with...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Let's see... What is two plus two?” you asked, sitting on the wooden floor, with your daughter's innocent smile adorning that boring winter afternoon.

“Quattro!” the girl squealed, happy to know the answer. You frowned but sighed contentedly, nodding.

“Yes, okay, very good, Valentina,” you said in a soft voice, making the girl jump for joy. “Four…”

“And three plus three is six,” she added, doing the math with her fingers, causing you to look surprised.

“Whoa, whoa, someone's been doing homework...” you joked.

“Yes, because I want more sweets,” your daughter said, revealing the true intentions of that extra effort.

“Well, I think you've earned them today, darling,” you said, closing the small exercise book when the front door sounded. “Who is it, Valentina?”

“Mamma!” Valentina squealed, excited to hear her mother entering the house.

If someone told you five years ago that you, a villager by birth, who spent without pain or glory in that sinister place, had managed to be happy, to form a family with one of the fearsome shadows that dominated the village, you would surely want to know what prohibited substance had ingested.

But as if fate had wanted to have fun at your expense, it made you work as a gardener, but not just any gardener, a gardener for the most shadowy and mysterious Lord, Donna Beneviento.

Love, just as you believed, was possible even in the darkest places. Well, saying that in a place like this was not very specific but, as time went by, with the continuous vision of that mourning figure near you, you understood that the darkness was just an illusion.

Sick, self-conscious, closed in on herself, Donna didn't seem to want any kind of contact with you, or that was what her few words, her slow walk, the looks you were unable to see through that black veil, implied.

Little by little, like the sun that rises at dawn, that timid closeness became a journey of discovery, of understanding, of unbearable attraction towards the lady in black, towards her voice, towards her gestures...

At first you may have believed that if she had feelings for you, she could also have feelings for anyone who had gotten close enough. Your own insecurities disappeared the moment you saw her face. A beautiful face, damaged but beautiful, a bright, dazzling eye, soft features of a lonely woman, a woman who needed love.

The kisses didn't take long to arrive, but the love had been there for a long time. Everything was new for her, and for you. Together, you discovered everything that to love someone meant. Sorrows, joys, tears, smiles, it was an eventful trip, but one that you would repeat without thinking about it. Not even the vague excuse of a change in her body when Mother Miranda made her be a Lord was enough to make you want to walk away, quite the opposite.

Months, years passed, and nothing could improve, nothing, until after a while feeling sick, you discovered you were pregnant. Maybe hasty news, you thought you were too young, that you wouldn't be able to face something like that. As if the world had turned upside down, it was Donna who helped you realize that there was no happier news for her. You would be a family, a real one, what both you and she longed for in the bottom of your hearts.

Valentina Beneviento, now five and a half years old, was the only light missing in your life, an insurance that reminded you the darkness would never return.

“Mommy, mommy!” the girl said excitedly, running towards the mourning figure that appeared through the door. You got up from the floor, ready to die of tenderness.

“My love...” the lady sighed through that horrible black veil, one that she continued to use for those terrible meetings that could not be avoided, the only thing it reminded you of where you were, who you were with.

“Knock, knock,” the girl said, already in her mother's arms, gently hitting her covered head. “Is mommy there?”

“Why don't you check it, tesoro?” Donna said, amused, making the girl discover her face, showing an affectionate smile, the beauty that you never were tired of admiring.

“Mommy!” the girl squealed, effusively hugging the lady in black, who laughed shyly, surely grateful that her way home was no longer a somber walk, but one in which she wanted to return to be with her family, your family.

“Valentina,” she responded, kissing her on the cheek and lowering her to the floor. “Have you had fun with mom?”

“Yes, we've been doing math... And I've won three sweets,” your daughter explained, when you leaned against the door frame, not wanting to interrupt yet.

“Three? You really made the effort...” Donna said, caressing her daughter's head, the black hair unmistakably hers.

“Your daughter is very smart,” you finally said, in a tender whisper, drawing her attention, making her gaze lock onto yours with a sigh and one of those wonderful smiles. You walked slowly, taking the black fabric from Donna's hands and leaning in to kiss her slowly.

“Do you see that, Valentina? That's good for our plan,” a squeaky voice that appeared by surprise murmured, Donna's living doll, Angie, an indispensable member of that curious family.

“You think so? They do it a lot,” the girl commented, approaching the puppet. You and Donna looked at each other and frowned.

“What are you two up to?” you asked with an inquisitive, but soft tone.

“Nothing,” they responded in unison, making you look at each other again, shrugging your shoulders.

“That sounds like a lie to me... What do you think, Donna?” you said again, leaning on her shoulder and looking at the girl and the doll, who walked away among evil laughs.

“Don't stick your nose into our affairs, you dirty commoner,” the doll snapped at you, as shameless as always. You shook your head and rolled your eyes, watching how the puppet dragged Valentina towards the living room, probably to continue with that strange plan.

“Angie...” Donna sighed, tired of the attitude that the puppet had with you. You never gave it importance. You knew that, deep down, you got along well.

“Come on, Valentina, let's leave them alone...” Angie said, ignoring the warning from her owner.

“These two...” you murmured, sighing, leaning a little more on the lady in black, who maintained that smile while she shook her head. “Well, how was the meeting?”

You separated slowly, but not before kissing her again. Since you gave her the first one, you couldn't go a day without those sweet, improvised kisses, full of affection that sometimes you couldn't express in words.

“As usual,” she said, dryly, walking with you towards the living room, plopping down on a sofa, visibly exhausted. “They have asked me about you again.”

“Oh, really?” you said with disinterest, sitting next to her and looking askance at the two small figures who could no longer hide some kind of conspiracy.

“Yes, you know they appreciate you,” the lady in black answered, with a soft, relaxed voice, folding the black cloth that you still had in your hands and leaving it carefully on a small table. That's where it needed to be, and not in her face.

“I find it hard to believe,” you replied, leaning back on the couch and resting your head on your hand, staring at her, blinking mockingly.

“Miranda asked about the girl,” she commented, with a slightly lower voice. Donna certainly knew the non-existent appreciation you had for the priestess. “I told her she is fine.”

“Okay…” you drawled, with a look of suspicion. “Donna, is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes, it's just that...” she responded, perhaps too abruptly, thus evidencing her concern.

“Just that...” you repeated, getting a little closer. She looked at you, sighing and shaking her head.

“You should come someday,” she said in a whisper, moving away from your accusing gaze. You rolled your eyes again. It was not the first time that this topic came to light.

“We've already talked about this, honey. I don't like the idea of the girl spending time with... Them...” you said seriously, changing your relaxed posture into a tense one. Donna glanced at you, but she didn't seem like she wanted to drop the topic.

“They're her family, (Y/N), I don't see anything wrong,” Donna said, nervous, playing with the black fabric of her dress and avoiding your gaze. You raised your eyebrows and huffed.

“Of course not, a giant woman, a Loch Ness monster and a magnetic sociopath. A very favorable environment for Valentina,” you said ironically, bringing out the monstrosities of the Lords.

“A crazy psychopath who controls living dolls,” Donna responded, with a strange hatred in her eye. Sometimes you forgot how sensitive she could be, that you had to be especially careful with your words.

“Donna... Not again..." you said, trying to divert her complexes from her mind, grabbing one of her trembling hands. “You know perfectly well that I don't think that way.”

“I'm sorry,” the lady said briefly, squeezing your hand tightly. “I didn't mean to talk to you that way.”

“It's okay, it's okay, Donna, besides, maybe you're right,” you said, feeling guilty for your attitude.

Let's see, it was true that dark and sinister environment was the only thing you wanted to avoid to Valentina, but Donna was also part of that disturbing squad of monstrosities. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea for the girl to get to know her family, no matter how horrible it was.

“Hey, my darling...” you sighed, approaching the lady in black, who had a sad, melancholic face. Your hand rested on her chin, moving her head so she made eye contact with you. It was amazing how, with just one touch, Donna seemed to calm down. “Look at me, Donna.”

“(Y/N)...” she sighed, grabbing the hand that was tenderly caressing her cheek, holding it against her skin, not wanting that contact to disappear.

“You know I love you very much, right?” you whispered, slowly approaching her lips, enjoying that lavender perfume, her agitated breathing from having you so close to her.

“I think not as much as I do, tesoro,” she murmured, giving in to her impulses and kissing you slowly, apologizing.

It was a slightly different kiss, but equally wonderful, a type of kiss that always made you miss the rhythm, smile against her skin, make funny sounds while your lips devoured hers in a passionate, but calm way. But soon you began to feel somewhat uncomfortable in that situation.

Your intuition didn’t fail and as you slowly separated yourself from the addictive kisses of the lady in black and you opened your eyes to check the reason for your discomfort.

Angie and Valentina were in front of you, observing you in silence.

You cleared your throat, moving further away from Donna, and she did the same, looking away and playing with her dress, possibly embarrassed.

“Hey, what are you two doing?” you asked, crossing your arms. Both girl and doll bowed their heads, but said nothing.

“The question is...” Angie murmured, jumping onto your lap and putting her wooden finger on your nose. “What were you two doing?”

“It's none of your business,” you growled quietly, watching Valentina, who also climbed onto Donna's lap, looking at her curiously.

“Mamma, what were you doing?” she asked in an innocent voice, getting comfortable on her lap and holding her arms like when she was younger.

“Nothing, honey, we were just...” Donna explained, her voice breaking from nervousness, from her daughter's uncomfortable questions.

“Giving each other some love, Valentina,” you finished, making the girl nod slowly, looking at the puppet, which was moving on top of you in the most annoying way possible.

“Angie, do you think that was enough?” the little girl asked, causing another shared and intriguing look.

“No, no, not at all, but it was going well,” the puppet explained, crawling towards the girl, as if she wanted to whisper in her ear. “We have to make those moments last longer,” she whispered confidently.

“Hey, I'm listening to you, what are you up to?” you asked, picking up the doll, which kicked childishly, protesting your grip. “Ah! Damn...” you screamed when the puppet got rid of you as she knew best, biting you.

“Angie!” Donna scolded her, standing up with her daughter in her arms, looking at the situation curiously.

“Don’t, worry,” you hissed, bringing the wound to your mouth. The lady in black crouched down to look at it. “Tell me you have the rabies vaccine…”

“It's nothing serious, tesoro,” Donna murmured, moving the girl to a more comfortable position.

“Mamma...” the girl said, tugging at her black dress in a comical way, with an innocent look. “Ho fame…”

“Are you hungry, my love?” the lady asked, completely forgetting about your injury. Deep down you didn't mind at all, in fact, you loved seeing how sweet Donna was with the little girl. To her there was nothing more important than you, not even that horrible bird woman.

Valentina nodded slowly and Donna smiled tenderly.

“Okay, what do you want for dinner? Mom told me you have behaved very well today, so you can choose,” she said to the girl, under your attentive gaze, one that from time to time strayed to the doll, cowardly hidden.

“Mmm, I don't know...” Valentina murmured, looking at the ceiling, thinking about the answer.

“You don't know,” the lady in black repeated, putting a finger on her nose, making her laugh in that adorable way. “What do you think if we go down and see what I can make for you?”

“Can I help you?” the girl asked. Of course she was Donna's daughter. She always got very excited when Donna took to the kitchen.

“Of course, tesoro, as long as mom gives you permission,” Donna said, looking at you with a pleading look, a look that the girl imitated.

“Mom... Can I...?”

“Of course, come, leave me alone again,” you said, feigning damage to the middle of your chest, knowing that the girl would laugh accordingly.

“Dinner will be ready soon, amore mio,” Donna said, going down so she could give you a quick kiss, disappearing with the girl moments later. You could hear that melody that she was singing, that melody that Valentina liked so much. Donna was definitely a different person.

You were enthralled for a second, listening to the sweet singing of the woman you loved, until it was just a light breeze of air as they descended the elevator. The cowardly doll's subtle movements brought you back to reality, squinting at the puppet.

“Hey! Come here, you kind of piece of wood with a piranha kink!” you shouted, forgetting about the sweetness and chasing Angie around the living room.

It didn't take you long to catch her, even though she really looked like a person, she was still a doll, a devilish one.

“Talk, you porcelain sack, I know you're up to something,” you said, shaking the puppet in your arms, making Angie complain comically.

“My mouth is sealed, commoner,” the doll said when you left her on the floor, crossing her arms in a childish manner.

“Oh, so you're up to something... Great, spill the beans, now,” you said satisfied with a superb posture and tone.

“I'm not up to anything, stupid, it's Valentina,” Angie protested, looking away from you. You frowned, scratching the back of your neck and relaxing your attitude, looking out of the corner of your eye at the wound on your finger.

“Valentina? Come on, Angie, cut the crap,” you mumbled a bit confused.

Angie may not have been the best of influences on the girl, but she had always taken care of her in her own way and, despite the doll's cheeky and irreverent attitude, the girl's evilness was non-existent.

“You cut the crap, who do you think you are to question me?” the doll complained, with that squeaky voice that didn't do anything good for your head.

“The mother of the girl you are corrupting for your evil plans,” you hissed through your teeth, getting a little closer to the puppet, which backed away, but without showing any fear, of course.

“Stupid, you don't know anything,” Angie rebuked you, walking away from your furious gaze.

“Look, that's precisely what worries me. The last time you plotted something, I ended up covered in flour,” you explained, remembering one of the many pranks you suffered in that house.

“It has nothing to do with that, it's a secret matter between Valentina and me and you don't have to stick your nose into our affairs,” Angie said, gaining more confidence in herself, making you snort desperately, knowing that, in truth, she was the best of confidants.

“Okay, this time you get your way, but I promise I'll find out,” you said, giving up, uncrossing your arms and leaving the doll alone.

“Well, I hope so,” the puppet commented, making you snort again, letting you fall on the couch, waiting for another delicious dinner.

Dinner that didn't take long to arrive, fortunately. Being alone with Angie was quite, how to say it, disturbing, sinister, terrifying…

“It's delicious,” you sighed, trying another of her succulent recipes, letting the flavors mix in your mouth like a perfect symphony. Donna looked up and smiled pleased, a rosy tone on her cheeks.

“I'm glad to know it, but I don't want to take all the credit,” she said with a soft voice, taking a sip from her wine glass, looking at the girl, sitting next to you. “Valentina has helped me a lot, right?”

“Yes, yes, I helped mommy with the dough, look mom, I still have flour on my hands,” your daughter said, showing small white spots on her hands, smiling enthusiastically.

You smiled at the lady and then at the girl, with an exaggerated look of astonishment.

“Really? Wow, you're certainly going to be a great cook when you grow up,” you said, amused, winking at Donna, who responded with a smile.

“Yes, I would really like to be like mommy,” Valentina said, with her face stained with tomato, a face that the lady in black rushed to clean lovingly, separating the hair from her face. You laughed, shaking your head and drinking some water.

“Well, you don't have to make a big effort. You're already identical to her,” you murmured, raising your eyebrows, focusing on those expressive features.

“But, but I also want to learn to take care of flowers like you, mom,” the girl commented, playing with her food, with a slightly sad tone that you ignored.

“Wow, that's new,” you said with a smile, pinching her cheek playfully. “I don't know if you'll have time to do all those things.”

“Yes, I’ll have enough time!” Valentina protested, sulking at your jokes. “Hey, mom… Mommy…”

“What, my love?” Donna asked, stopping eating because Valentina's enthusiasm had faded.

“I want to have a brother, or a sister,” the girl murmured, without looking at your faces. And thank goodness she didn't do it, because you both stayed glued to the table, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“What?” You asked, just in case you had heard wrong, you hadn't.

“Valentina, don't tell them!” Angie interrupted, jumping on the table, something she knows it annoyed you too much.

“Get off the table, Angie, we're eating,” you hissed, pushing the puppet, which took refuge in the girl's lap. She was still playing with her food, as if she hadn't finished saying what she had just said.

“But Valen, why do you tell them? It was supposed to be a secret...” the doll protested. The girl simply shrugged.

“Mom always says that if you want something you have to ask nicely,” the little girl murmured, making a tender smile to form on your face.

“Nonsense, what they have to do is to be alone and then you might have a sibling. But they already know, great idea, Valentina,” the doll said, getting off the girl and causing you to grunt.

“So that was it,” you sighed, leaning your back on the chair, looking at Donna, who stood petrified, frowning.

“Don't you give each other enough kisses?” Valentina asked, making the two of you look at her curiously. “Angie told me that if you kissed each other a lot, maybe…”

“Did Angie tell you that?” Donna asked, with a frightened look, searching with her eye for the puppet, who came out from under the table with a cocky posture.

“What? Do you want me to tell her the truth?” Angie asked, feigning indifference.

“No!” you and Donna shouted at the same time.

The doll laughed triumphantly, making a farewell gesture with her hands, leaving you with that panorama.

“Um... Valentina, honey, why do you want a sibling?” you asked, seeing that Donna was unable to react.

“Because it would give me a lot of company, I would like to have someone to play with, and teach them things like you and mommy do with me,” the little girl explained. Well, you could be proud, little Beneviento was smart, very smart.

“But, but honey... You already have Angie,” Donna said, clearing her throat and surprisingly daring to get into the conversation.

“I know but it's not the same. We would both be happier if we had a brother or sister. We could play more things,” the girl stammered.

You and Donna looked at each other again, not knowing what to say. It would be best to ignore it, for now.

“Well, it’s done,” you said after putting your daughter to bed, who was still insisting on that matter. Donna looked at you, still in her black dress and her hair up. She looked like she was thinking about something. “The girl sleeps… Well, like a baby.”

“Great,” Donna whispered, kissing you quickly.

“Hey! Is everything to your liking? Shall I sing you something romantic?” a shrill voice sounded from behind the door. You rolled your eyes and opened it. Just as you suspected, Angie.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you hissed, leaning against the door frame. “Have you left Valentina alone?”

“Valentina is asleep, stupid, I'm just making sure the environment is ideal for... Well, for making babies,” Angie responded, lowering her tone as she uttered those last words.

“What? Oh my… Get out,” you said angrily, annoyed by that attitude. Maybe you were nervous.

“But…”

“Get out!” you yelled, closing the door with a terrible slam, laughing amused but annoyed at the same time. “You have to start turning off that doll at night…”

Donna laughed, shaking her head, undoing her black bun and brushing her hair in a calm but suspiciously slow manner.

“I don't know why those ideas have suddenly entered Valentina's head,” you sighed, letting yourself fall on the bed, exhausted by the motherhood of each day. “Have you talked to her about it?”

“No,” the lady in black answered, dryly, but softly.

“Mm, it must have been that porcelain demon,” you murmured, slowly letting the air out of your lungs. “Can you imagine? Another child running around the house… How crazy.”

“Yes, how crazy,” Donna repeated, with a voice that revealed the hard work of her mind in thoughts that you couldn't read.

“We have enough with Valentina,” you said, sitting on the bed and unbuttoning your shoes.

“Do we have enough?” Donna asked, turning to you, making you frown in confusion, studying her serene look, but which betrayed nervousness.

“What do you mean?” you asked curiously, standing up and walking towards the dresser, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Nothing, forget it,” she said, kissing the back of your hand and standing up, beginning to unbutton her dress. You, knowing it was a dirty lie, sighed, grabbing her wrists and forcing her to look at you.

“Donna,” you said with a low, soft voice, returning your hand to her cheek, making her nervousness even more evident. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

“Nothing, I don't think anything, just nonsense,” she said without looking at your face, pushing your hand away and running away from you cowardly. You laughed as you remembered Angie's almost identical way of doing the same thing.

“Let's see what nonsense is it...” you insisted, grabbing her waist from behind, kissing her neck so she would laugh nervously and shyly, so she would lower her guard again.

“Nothing, no, it's nothing,” she said, fleeing from your cruel kisses, the best of your weapons to extract the truth from her lips.

“Oh, yes it is...” you hummed, continuing with your innocent torture.

“Well, okay, okay,” she said exhaustedly, turning away from you among nervous laughs, relaxing her expression immediately. “Does it really seem crazy to you?”

“What, darling?” you asked, relaxing yourself, paying attention to the brunette, who seemed to be hesitant.

“You, you know...To have another child...” the lady in black whispered, lowering her gaze, trying not to make it coincide with hers.

You, who thought your opinion was the same as hers, sighed, sitting back down on the bed, dragging Donna with you, playing with her hand.

“Well, I... You know, you know that I adore Valentina but... I don't know, Donna, another child, with Angie around, with Valentina...” you commented, being completely sincere. “You want to…?”

“I, well, the truth is that... I wouldn't mind having another baby... I think Valentina is right and she might use another child to play with,” the brunette explained. You nodded slowly, listening to her arguments.

Maybe you hadn't stopped to think about it clearly. You had no problems of any kind, the house was big, Angie was there to raise, or spoil, the children... Another little Beneviento running through the hallways? Little by little it stopped sounding that bad in your head.

“Maybe, maybe you're right,” you said quietly, pulling Donna to sit next to you, looking at you curiously, with a certain air of sadness. “Okay, okay, let's have another child.”

“Just like that? Have you already convinced yourself?” Donna asked, looking at you suspiciously. Yes, normally you were much more stubborn.

“Yes, well... The truth is that I wouldn't mind at all. When you're right, I like to tell you, darling,” you said with a slightly different voice, approaching the lady in black suggestively.

She raised her eyebrows and sighed with that half smile that told you her feelings, how much she loved you, how sincere her love was.

“Okay then,” she whispered, kissing you unexpectedly, looking at you carefully. “I love you so much, darling... So, so much...”

“Me too,” you whispered, resting your forehead on hers, breathing in conjunction with her, thus confirming that sudden decision, but about which you had no doubt.

Having settled that small but quick argument, you decided to stop talking and act, moving until you were on top of the brunette, who moaned, surprised by your movement and by your small kisses on her lips.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” she asked confused, smiling but stopping your desire for affection, making her breathing labored.

“Well, that's what we said, having a baby,” you said amused, unbuttoning your own dress, doing maneuvers on her lap. Donna looked at you strangely, shaking her head.

“Oh, well, I... No, it doesn't have to be today, (Y/N), we can wait for...” she murmured, not being able to stop her gaze from going straight to your now almost exposed chest, at least until your hands unclasped your bra.

“Waiting for what? Come on, Donna, you're the one who wanted...” you said, getting closer to her ear, bringing her hand to your bare chest, making her gaze darken, just like you wanted.

“Well, I...” she stammered, too focused on her soft touch on your skin, on the sensations that her fingers provoked, making your skin shiver while your hips began to dance on their own.

“Come on, let's not waste any more time, right?” you said, getting off her lap to crawl across the sheets, dragging poor Donna with you hopelessly.

“I see you’re very anxious,” she murmured amused, getting rid of her dress with a couple of quick movements, exposing in front of you the beauty of her body, that pale and shiny skin that made you thank Mother Miranda for being alive, for being able to enjoy those wonderful views.

“Me? I don't think so,” you said jokingly, biting your lip when your gaze went down her body, thus showing the small bulge that you could already notice in her underwear. She was always so sensitive, so perfect... “Maybe I'm not the one who's anxious, Donna,” you whispered in her ear, lowering your hand and stroking her erection slowly, eliciting a silent moan and a shy smile from her.

“You make me anxious, (Y/N)” she responded with a special sparkle in her eye, with a seductive smile, showing you that slightly more extroverted side, that passion that took a long time to show when you met her.

With a wide smile as your only silent response, you let your hands pull her body so it settled on top of yours, noticing her heat with yours, her skin with yours, that annoying sensation of feeling the black fabric that covered her breasts with your fingers.

With a gasp, feigning a kind of childish offense, the garment gave way under your fingers as your lips were mercilessly assaulted, while her touch traveled over your skin like an exploration, like an expedition to the peak of pleasure.

You moaned as you felt her hands on your breasts, yours on hers, her lips on your neck, yours anywhere that belonged to her, on her shoulder, in her black hair, on her cheek. Any place was worthy of your kisses, any corner of her skin deserved to be praised.

Subtle moans and gasps replaced words. They were no longer so necessary. A kiss here, another there, a caress, a bite, that was your way of communicating in that dance of hands flying over your bodies, of legs that sought friction, of hips that cried to join together.

“You're so beautiful...” Donna whispered, with a sensual accent, not doing it on purpose but making you only more excited, making her laugh in your ear while her body, already hard, already ready to love you, rubbed against your wet, eager entrance.

“You're beautiful,” you responded, giving her shoulder a gentle tap in amused protest at that fiery compliment. Two sincere smiles formed on your faces, stopping the desire for a moment, searching in each other for some impediment to continue, some shadow of doubt in your actions.

“Is everything okay, darling?” you asked as her face relaxed before nodding, before her hand began to wander up your leg erratically.

“Yes, I just, I just thank fate for giving me the opportunity to have you by my side,” Donna whispered romantically, but seriously, showing that this was not an impure act, purely lustful.

No, it wasn't, not as such. It was an act of love, an attempt to conceive a new life inside you, a new addiction to that family, to your family. For you there was no better way to love.

“Stop telling me those things... They make me nervous,” you said, moving your legs so the only piece of clothing left on your body slid comically down them. Donna looked at you, arching her eyebrow, helping the garment disappear from the path of her touch.

“Maybe I want to make you nervous, I want you to tremble when I make love to you,” she whispered in a slightly dark way, but which, of course, had the complete opposite effect, making a high-pitched moan escape your lips.

“It's impossible not to tremble with you, my love,” you replied amused, closing your eyes, remaining speechless when her hands reached the wet region between your legs, excited, burning with desire, when her fingers gently ran through your wet folds, as if she wanted to provoke you or play with you.

You laughed, relaxing at her soft, careful, delicate touch, a touch that reminded you of when she worked on her dolls. Her skillful fingers, an expression that reflected her concentration, that reflected her sole wish to make you enjoy.

“If you continue like this, I will do it now,” you warned, amused, feeling how the curvature of her fingers brushed your walls, how they prepared the wet ground for the future intrusion.

Donna didn't speak, she didn't respond, she simply acted. With a gasp of relief, she freed her trembling shaft from its black fabric prison, moving it, caressing it before placing it just in the desired spot, impregnating the tip with the wetness of your arousal.

“Are you ready, tesoro?” she asked, with a voice that betrayed her own desire, her own anxiety, making sure before plunging into your body, like she always did, like you always wanted her to do.

“Since I met you, Donna,” you said, giving your approval, immediately feeling that intrusion, that pleasant deformation of your walls welcoming the brunette between them, hugging her.

She moaned at the sensation, at the way your body received hers, an automatic, wet way, as if your own walls wanted to caress her, make her enjoy.

When she settled completely inside you, she leaned in to kiss you, her body trembling from the sensation, moving little by little.

“Your body is perfect... You hug me so well,” she said, whispering, with soft words, in line with the movements of her hips.

You just smiled as moans slipped past your lips. The pleasure was overwhelming, as always, the sensations prevented you from having that mind that Donna had, that ability to speak clearly while feeling such pleasure.

Your lips could only respond one way, capturing hers with them, kissing the doll maker while that sexual dance caused a wet soundtrack in the walls of the room.

Her hands hugged you while her own moans lost harmony little by little, in conjunction with your own movements, with the way your legs hooked around her waist, keeping her very close to you, melting together.

“Donna, I'm, I'm close,” you said, almost scared, when a current of pleasure made your entire body tremble, when it made your hips rise quickly against hers, with your walls beginning to narrow dangerously. She laughed against your skin, speeding up her thrusts, maintaining the intensity, but reaching even more to that place you wanted.

“Me too, tesoro, just a... Little... More...” Donna said erratically, losing control of the soft harmony of her hips, noticing how your orgasm devoured you without you being able to prevent it, trapping her erection in your body, hugging it with soft spasms of your hips. “(Y/N)”

A gasp of surprise left her lips, followed by a guttural moan, a warm wetness on your body that signaled her own release. That unique, wet caress, that hot liquid inside of you made you moan even louder, while her movements stopped being so intense, becoming aftershocks of her orgasm before collapsing on top of you, exhausted.

Gasps replaced the obscene sounds in the dark room. The wetness of your legs reminded you again and again of the pleasure you had felt, and the possible consequences, some that you had already fully assumed, some consequences you wanted.

“Mmm, Donna...” you purred, softly kissing the brunette, who settled next to you, her face red from tiredness, her nervous breathing, but with her gaze fixed on yours.

“Tesoro... You're perfect,” she murmured, kissing you back, smiling grateful for the pleasure you gave her, or perhaps for agreeing to your daughter's wishes, you didn't know, but you didn't care.

“Do you think we will have achieved it?” you asked, intertwining your legs. She shrugged.

“I don't know, I guess it's too early to tell,” she replied, with a sleepy voice that you found terribly adorable.

“Mm, well, if not, we can keep trying and...” you said sensually, but stopping when you heard a strange noise behind the door. “It just can't be…”

Covering yourself with the sheets you walked towards the door.

“Angie!” You shouted furiously when you saw the puppet flee through the hallway.

“Valentina, Valentina!” the doll shouted, making Donna sit up, rubbing her eye. “Little sibling is on the way!”

“Damn…”

#donna beneviento #donna beneviento x reader #re8 donna #re8 village #oneshot #requests

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freakywrites · 7 months ago

Text

Play dress up

Kanato Sakamaki x you

Summary- ….kanato dresses you up? (DUH)

Can be read as fem reader, but anyone can wear a dress, so idk go crazy (*´-`)

Warning: UNEDITED - This isn’t really meant to be a romance, but like killing stalking romanticize it as you wish (jk!… it’s…it’s a joke) abuse!! he probably has u held captive - I think that's it?? One curse word???

Art made by me *im proud of it so praise me* (jk bit I did draw it like 5 in the morning so leave it be)

------------

Your stomach churns as you try to still your already fast beating heart and suppress the shaking fear you felt.

Sitting on a purple velvet chair you watched nervously as the violet haired creep delicately painted your nails, a sapphire blue. His big and dull eyes fixated on your hand that rested in his deadly pale ones, God forbid you even whimper when he makes a mistake and scratches rather harshly at your fingers.

“Doesn’t this color look good on her, Teddy?” Kanato spoke to the bear on your lap. “ I think so...” He mumbles to himself before blowing on the wet polish. “there you go! my doll looks too pretty~” he praised, and you could shiver at his nickname for you a reminder that you are nothing more than a toy to him. You're a living breathing doll he can treat however he likes with no pity or remorse.

The slim man grabbed your beaten up calf. You nearly yelped as he pressed gently at the fresh blue bruise and cuts, maybe testing for a reaction just so he was an excuse to get violent, but it's not like he needed one. Putting your foot so gently on his knee, he finally looked up at you, his eyes sending a cold wave over your body, his smile exposing those white fangs of his that hurt just by looking at them. “See? You look lovely in blue.” He spoke with such glee, almost taunting and playing with you, for he knows if you try to even push him away, he can force you back into submission.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Do you hate it?” His mood shifted and his smile dropped to a snarl nails digging at your skin. Opening your dry mouth, you spoke. “I like it.” A simple sentence sending him back to his toothy grin. “I’m glad because I like it too!” He gleefully spoke, loosening his grip on you.

He painted your toe nails next, and you hear the alarms in your head ring. A few days ago he was shaving your legs pressing a little to tightly he sliced your skin and as a reaction to the pain you yelped and kicked away only for him to grab you in anger yelling insults and cut at your skin till you where covered in red dripping beads of blood that he will lick at. But today, he had no weapons with him other than his teeth and hands

Before you knew it, he was done with his little forced manicure and pulled out a dress that was on the side of a table. He turned to you and spoke, "Come here." You reluctantly got up off your seat shifting a bit as you felt your sore muscles and skin ache like your whole body was one big bruise and with every step was a throbbing pain sent from your feet to your head.

"Do you know what kind of dress this is?" He spoke as be pressed it to your body. You would roll your eyes and sigh if that action wouldn't lead him to poke your eyes out with a needle or something. You spoke "u-um blue?" What an idiotic answer for an idiotic question. "Wrong! It's a dress modeled after the ones of the 1870s." He said, leaning into your face his tired eyes looking to your nervous ones. "I got it costumly made for you, so it'll fit you perfectly." You stare back at him and gulp down any of your insults.

You were finally dressed corset on not so tightly and flat velvet shoes on because he knows your feet hurt? For a guy that beats the shit out of you often, he has a weird way to care for you. While you stare in the full body mirror, you were surprised the dress was very beautiful and detailed black lace on the edges of the short sleeve and a v-neck that exposes your neck and colorbones probably for easy access but to top it of Kanato places a tear drop amethyst necklace with a chain of your preferred type of metal. How did he know that was your favorite?You hold the jewel in your hand, running your finger on the chain.

"Do you like it?" He said as he hugged at his teddy. And you nodded, tilting your head as you admire yourself before you spoke.

"...yes its...beautiful."

------------

A/N: ah yess diabolik lovers one of my first animas next to black butler.... yeah now I know why I had fucked up morales at the age of like 12.

Also got into it again cuz I reacently started watching itMustBeK8 and they watched like diabolik like a 2 years ago- BUT IM NOT OVER MY FUCKED UP VAMP DUDES IDC. AND go watch them they are one of the reasons im going through the week 🙄

Anyways love yall XOXO 💋

#fanfic #x reader #diabolik lovers #kanato x reader #x fem reader #diabolik lovers kanato #fanfiction #kanato sakamaki #x you #kanato x you #kanato sakamaki x reader #diabolik lovers x reader #diabolik brothers #diabolik lovers x you

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scribblestatic · 1 month ago

Text

Amputee!SY incoming. Round Two, fight!

Prev: Part 6

---

For a moment, there was silence.

Then the next, an uproar.

Demons and cultivators alike loudly rebuked Cang Qiong Sect, the cultivators doing so out of outrage that the most prominent cultivation sect would do something so cruel, and the demons doing so because even most of them, for as dog-eat-dog as demon society often was, wouldn't go so far as to pollute their siblings with spiritual qi.

Of course, it was convenient to blame it all on them. Demons and cultivators outside of the sect had surely done worse, depending on the situation. But that wasn't what Luo Binghe cared to clarify.

What had once been understood as a failing purely on Shen Qingqiu's part was now understood to be the negligence of the sect he sought refuge in. The sect whose lead disciple, whose future sect leader, he had saved. He wasn't bad at cultivating, he was almost willfully sabotaged by those he should've been able to trust.

"Since this lord has been able to assist him, he has not suffered another deviation. His core has stabilized, and his power grows increasingly precise. How many can say they can precisely control a quill and write a letter using their qi alone?

"Since this lord has been able to find a balance with his own demonic and spiritual qi, so too has Shen Qingqiu. Ah...well, that is, if you wish to still be called that, Wife."

Shen Yuan was gazing toward the ground quietly. With his fan on his lap, they could see the blank mask he'd forced his expression into. There was no rage, no anger...not even resentment.

Just contemplation.

His eye closed and he huffed, his fan rising to cover the lower half of his face again.

"...This one prefers the name Yuan."

It pained him to hurt his beloved like this. He clearly was hurt, considering he didn't give even a little token protest to being called a 'wife' instead of a 'husband.'

To dig up old wounds and lay them bare once again was something he had hesitated to do. But this would be the final time he did so, and not for his own self-service, but to further legitimize Shen Yuan's position as his empress.

He would clear Shen Yuan's name with this, and Cang Qiong Sect would be witness to it.

"Of course, A-Yuan."

As much as he wanted to kiss him, he had that tense energy about him, the kind that said he'd prefer to be left alone. He must be thinking of so much... It would do well for him to simply get this done with as quickly as he could.

---

"So now, you reject the name given to you by your shifu?"

"Peak Lord He, this lord dares not assume that your wine also hinders the mind. Surely, if you were so thoroughly betrayed by your shifu, would you want to keep the name given to you by them?"

The man scowled. "Does anyone reject the name given to them by their parents? Hate it or not, betrayed or not, he was given the name Qingqiu as a courtesy to his position."

"Ah, but this lord has yet another point, one that helps shed light on this charge and another. Three, Shen Qingqiu's legal insanity, specifically his psychosis, were in part triggered by his courtesy name and even my own, leading to his targeted hatred toward me. In addition to this, this lord wishes to address the charge against Shen Yuan for the murder and eradication of House Qiu.

"My love, how do you plead?"

"Guilty."

"Cease this!" Qi Qingqi bellowed. "That charge is not for you to try to absolve! Do you intend to overwrite Qiu Haitang's justice for the sake of this farce of a crowning? To betray one of your wives to put another, a man, in the top position of your harem?"

"Peak Lord Qi, your misandry has nothing to do with how I run my harem. And, to clarify, no, I have no intent to overwrite Qiu Haitang's justice...instead, this lord intends to question whether the ruling was fairly just or needlessly cruel, as my own punishments toward him had been."

With the inward curl of two of his fingers, guards entered the area. Between them, they held the arms of a struggling Qiu Haitang. They didn't hold her particularly tightly, but her cultivation was apparently rather weak.

They carefully released her, and she pulled away, huffing and looking particularly wronged.

"What is the meaning of this, Husband? I already accepted that you came to love the one who killed my whole family more than me. I've even accepted that you want to give him such a high position, one he can lord over me for as long as your affections allow! Why do you continue to antagonize me?!"

"Tang-er, don't exaggerate. Shen Yuan killed all of the men of your clan, but he left the women untouched, did he not?"

"That's the same as killing my family! You agreed back then!"

Luo Binghe nodded morosely. "That I did. However, this lord must admit to his faults. I believe it is imperative that the hatred between you and Shen Yuan be alleviated."

"Hah! Never! How dare you ask me to do such a thing!! I have no say on who you allow in your bed, but you cannot...you will not control my emotions! I know the truth, and that truth is that I will, forever, hate Shen Qingqiu for what he did to my family!"

"Hmm, I see. But what about what your family did to him?"

Qiu Haitang froze, clearly affronted.

"What my family did to him? What did we do? Elevate his position? Feed him? Clothe him? We brought him into our family when he was a mere slave, and he repaid our kindness with slaughter. All because A-Luo didn't want him to abandon our engagement!"

"'A-Luo'?"

"Yes, A-Luo! My elder brother and head of our family, Qiu Jianluo! Why do you act as though you don't remember him?!"

"'A-Luo'...yes. I do remember us discussing him at length. You'd said he was a tad firm, but an otherwise loving brother."

Aggrieved, tears sprung to Qiu Haitang's eyes. "He was... He was! He, and Lao Tao, Lao Yang...our servants, our family, everyone... I loved them all dearly. And he stole them away from me! That slave abandoned the people who gave him an education, who taught him how to behave, and he brutalized them, all so he could raise his status to that of a lofty immortal, unfettered by our engagement!"

"Mmm, yes. This lord remembers. We also discussed how, by happenstance, a childhood nickname of mine sounded incredibly similar to it. Your brother's A-Luó, and my A-Luò. Why, they almost sound the same."

"They do! That's why...that's why Tang-er thought you were like him, but if you're going to... If you're going to humiliate me to such an extent, to allow the man who killed my gege to become your empress, then I need not stay! Release me from your harem and let me go!"

"As you wish."

Qiu Haitang finally went quiet.

"...Excuse me?"

"I said, 'As you wish.' This lord will divorce you right now, if you so desire."

Stricken silent by his assertion, she didn't say anything. And so, Luo Binghe decided to move things along.

"Wife."

Shen Yuan's eye flinched before his fan bapped softly against the hand closest to him.

"Who's your wife?"

The happy smile Binghe gave him, despite the coldness he was faced with, surprised many in the crowd, including members of the Cang Qiong Sect entourage. It was more like how one would look at a feisty kitten testing their bitty claws on their hand, all smiles as it scratched little raw strips into their flesh.

He was positively besotted.

Of course, only those close to Shen Yuan would know that his response was a sign that he was managing with the situation. He wouldn't reveal how thin his face could be if he truly felt too distressed. Shen Yuan was uncomfortable, but he could get through it.

Even so, that endeared look faded to concern.

"...This lord hates to ask this of you, but could you tell us how you saw Qiu Jianluo?"

Shen Yuan pressed his lips tightly together, his gaze falling to the nearby floor.

"You said nothing during your trial, and we only pursued judgement under Qiu Haitang's account. But since we've been married, you've talked to me. This lord doesn't want to put you in this position, but we need your account as well."

He didn't budge.

"...You will be heard this time."

Silence.

A breath in.

Then, Shen Yuan's eye snapped open.

"I would've rather remained a slave on the street than to ever have been sold to House Qiu."

---

Shen Yuan felt a tad weird.

A little like he wasn't alone in his body. Or, well, maybe he was, but it felt like there was someone behind him.

It wasn't a feeling that made him afraid. No, just a bit disjointed. Like he and the one behind him were pressing together, back to back.

The dreams he had about House Qiu, once more difficult to detail, sprung to his mind with ease like a core memory. And with it came all the feelings that attached to the memory, causing his chest to clench and teeth to ache.

As though piloted by the other one...or, perhaps given the energy necessary to pilot it himself, Shen Yuan allowed the words to fly from his mouth.

And with each word, a little bit of weight attached to them disintegrated.

---

Liu Mingyan had heard a Shen Yuan rant before. He'd done several about her works, always expressing what he liked but being just as expressive about what he hated, remembering to calm down and say his critique was purely because he knew she could write even better.

And it wasn't as though he was wrong. Her book reviews under her penname had indeed improved in sales. A gaggle of nuns she'd befriended, wives that amicably returned to their sect after separating from Luo Binghe, asked who her editor was and how much their rates would be to have the mystery editor review their works.

They'd been quite tempted to return to the harem when she revealed who'd helped her. But it made sense, didn't it? Shen Yuan, formerly Qingqiu, had been second-in-command only to the head of Cang Qiong Sect, the leading cultivation sect under the heavens. He was an renown expert in the four arts, literature included.

And he critiqued trashy yellow books as severely and wholeheartedly as tomes of great historical magnitude.

Yes, she's heard more than one Shen Yuan rant before.

This one had to be the most severe. The most raw. The most painful one she'd heard.

And it hurt to hear it, because she had no doubt that every word that left his mouth was true.

He spoke inelegantly. Elegance would've perhaps cheapened his account. There was no room for it. Inelegant as it was, it was narrative. Illustrative.

"Do I look like a martial arts dummy to you? A bled and slaughtered hog? Because he sure loved smacking his fists against my ribs like he was tenderizing meat for the nightly dinner I never got to eat."

"Taught me to write? Hah. He figured out I could write just before he was going to beat me to death for using qi to get his horse to stop running through the streets like a maniac. I didn't know how to write a whole lot, but all he had to do was throw books at me. I learned by my own damn self."

"Got tempted by a wandering cultivator? I was barely let outside! Freed from the slave contract? Where'd you hear that?! It's all dogshit. Either that perverted bastard came up with it, or Qiu Haitang put a bunch of mismatched information together and came up with it herself. Which, at that point, I can't really blame her. I'm not sure the ladies of that house would've told her what I dealt with. It's completely fair to want answers."

"A-Yuan, one moment," Luo Binghe interrupted. "Why did you call Qiu Jianluo perverted?"

At that question, his mouth shuttered briefly. This time, when he spoke again, his voice was stilted.

"...He... There was a reason he didn't hit my face. Everything else was fair game, but not my face. Qiu Haitang picked me up because of my face..."

He pursed his lips briefly, then continued.

"...Qiu Jianluo also liked my face."

"Lies!!"

Qiu Haitang screamed at the top of her lungs, moving forward as though she would stomp up the stairs to the throne and try to rip Shen Yuan from his seat. The guards quickly stopped her before her foot could touch the first step. Her squirming did little to move them.

"You're lying! You're lying! My gege was nothing like what you've said! You can only accuse him of these things because he's dead! You killed him! He never hit you! He never hurt you! He treated you with nothing but kindness, and you're the one who went insane and killed everyone!"

"Not everyone."

Although she was too far gone in her rage to notice it, Liu Mingyan heard the icy tone in Luo Binghe's voice, his dark eyes staring down at her with an increasing amount of derision.

"Only the men... Only the men."

Only the men.

"Oh gods," Liu Mingyan muttered.

"...You need not say more, A-Yuan, if it is too much."

"Ah, uhm... No, wait. I mean, he did threaten to... He just." He paused. "He threatened to...watch. To watch me. With other men in the house.

The words seemed increasingly hard to get out, his face turning red.

"He didn't rape... He didn't rape me. He threatened to. Threatened that others would. Had them..." Breathe. "Hold me down."

Only the men.

"...What happened the night you escaped?"

Quiet. Qiu Haitang kept screaming that he was lying.

"Were you prompted you to do what you did? If so, what happened?"

"It's a lie! Binghe!! Don't believe him!"

"A-Yuan. Please, tell me if you can."

"He's a liar! He's lecherous! You know what Ning Yingying said!!"

"...That's...right. That's right! Where is Ning Yingying! She accused him of grooming her!" Qi Qingqi called out. "Are you sure about his account now?"

"Wife."

"We took you in! We fed you! We clothed you! How dare you do this to us! How dare you do this to me!!"

"Can we really trust what he's saying? He's molested his own disciple!"

"You-!! If you hated us so much, why not kill me, too?! Why not kill everyone?! You pervert!! You lecher!! You mangey dog!! You beast!"

Luo Binghe's eyes snapped upwards, rage curling on his face.

But he didn't get a single word out before—

"Call me that again, and I'll be tempted to rip your throat out like I did your brother."

Shen Yuan stared coldly at Qiu Haitang, eye wide and a tad unfocused. A few moments passed, and the focus returned to it, as did the blood to his face. He began panting slightly, like he'd suddenly ran a great length or like he'd been holding his breath.

Recognition slowly came onto his face.

"He didn't rape me. Because I ripped his throat out before he could. And then I grabbed a sword with my qi when the guards came because they heard him gurgle. And I stabbed them. Then I stabbed Qiu Jianluo. Again and again and again.

"I stabbed him until I couldn't recognize his face anymore. And I started stabbing everyone who could've done the same thing he was going to do to me. Ones he'd threatened to watch. Ones who never helped. Guards. Servants. All of them."

Silence.

"How did you rip his throat out?"

Shen Yuan turned toward Binghe with a movement that seemed too smooth, like his head was on a swivel.

"...With my teeth."

"Did you remember doing this before now?"

"...I don't know."

"Wife?"

"Mm?"

Binghe frowned, moving to kneel on a knee beside Shen Yuan's throne, placing his hands on his face. Despite the open display of affection, he didn't move away.

"Do you know where you are right now?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yes."

He blinked, then glanced upward.

"...I think I'm dissociating."

"Deviating? ...Your qi is sluggish, but—"

"No, no. Dissociating. Detaching from reality, triggered by stress or trauma. A feeling of daydreaming or intensely focused while not naturally integrating consciousness, identity, memory, or perception. The Falling Sun Dewdrop produces a similar sensation to depersonalization if you...uhm. Maybe I shouldn't explain how to do that. I think I won't.

"Unlike a qi deviation, which essentially shuts down one's consciousness and causes their body to react erratically in response to their charging qi, dissociating is...mmm... Depends on if its depersonalization or derealization. Sorry, I'm feeling a little—"

"Shh, don't. Don't apologize, A-Yuan. You've done well."

"Mm."

"Thank you for telling me."

Shen Yuan leaned his cheek against one of Binghe's hands, his eye closing calmly.

"...Mm."

"We can stop now, if you want."

"...Nah."

"Why not?"

"The bandage is removed and the wound is festering. Let's cut it all the way off." Shen Yuan smiles and raises one of his arms a little. "You're good at removing limbs, Binghe."

Although Shen Yuan didn't see it, Binghe bowed his head, still holding his. A clawed thumb brushed his cheek softly.

"...This lord wishes he wasn't."

"Oh... It was supposed to be a joke. I'm sorry."

When Binghe couldn't manage to respond, Shen Yuan opened his eye and leaned further toward him.

"Hey... Hey, Binghe. It really was a joke. I was wrong to you, and I did a lot of terrible things, so I'm not mad. You were just a kid, Binghe. And I shoved you into the Endless Abyss because I felt like I finally had a good reason to hate you. Even though I know humans and demons aren't all that different. I thought, 'Men, and especially Luos, are all the same,' and treated you badly, falsely blaming it on you being half demon.

"But I used it all as an excuse. You didn't deserve any of what I did. You didn't deserve my jealousy over how strong you were at cultivating, or me assuming you'd grow up to be like Autumn Tangled Net and ensnare everyone or treat me like shit. And though you kinda did, it wasn't your fault. I was like your Qiu Jianluo, without the weird pervert shit. And you cut my limbs off. And I think that's fair."

The demon emperor, bewildered, let out a choked laugh, raising his head to look at him again, eyes misty.

"Was that meant to be reassuring, love?"

"Yeah."

"I'm afraid it didn't quite work."

"Awwh... Hey, do you think we could keep going in...uhm. Well, you asking me questions? Stuff is kinda starting to feel real again, so, uh, I'd like to answer whatever you want to ask before I combust out of embarrassment. You know, like a total mess. I'll never be able to be empress at this rate. No one would approve of me. My reputation is ruined. Why'd you marry me?"

"Because I love you."

"Embarrassing. Shameless. I love you, too. Say that again."

This time, when Luo Binghe laughed, it was genuine. He leaned forward and whispered into his ear, presumably saying those requested words again. He then kissed the huadian on Shen Yuan's forehead before he stood, shedding the calm softness he'd put on for his future empress.

"...Time and time again, Shen Yuan has had to face difficult and demeaning circumstances without letting out his fear and instability. Surely, none would ridicule him for finally, after years of persecution, cracking under that pressure."

When he turned to the crowd, it was as though he'd shed all illusions that he was anything but some wretched beast that crawled from the Endless Abyss. A rictus grimace seemed to unnaturally split his face, the whites of his eyes bright. His zuiyin glowed a fierce red.

A terrible murderous intent befell the others, leaving them unable to move in the face of a predator.

"Right?"

"Binghe."

And immediately, the moment ended, the man turning a kind smile to his wife.

"Alright, alright."

"...Fuck."

Liu Mingyan jolted slightly before turning toward Sha Hualing, who, at some point, moved closer to her. Her arms wrapped around one of hers, moving a little bit behind her.

"Reminded me of that freaky Binghe that almost killed me."

"Ah."

So that's where she recalled that killing intent.

----

Oh, by the way, I'm a huge fan of horror!Binghe. I want that half-demon boy to come back from the Endless Abyss irrevocably changed, and, of course, Shen Yuan looks at him and is just like, "Look at my sweet boy, who has done nothing wrong ever."

They're freak 4 freak, fr.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7: here Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Part 11+: links on Part 10

AO3

#static writes #svsss #amputee sy au #original luo binghe #luo bingge #shen yuan #scum villain #au post 7 #dissociation #dissociative episodes look different per person #he gets floaty and chatty or quiet #congratulations congratulations congratulations!#dissociative amnesia memory unlocked!

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kaily010 · 8 months ago

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Lets play~

(Alastor x reader)

Description: You're Lilith's younger daughter. While Charlie was the perfect child, you never seemed to be good enough. Well, after she disappeared, you made up your mind when you found out her secret....

You walked down the streets of hell, watching sinners and demons reaction to noticing you. You were the younger daughter of the morningstars, so it was no surprise to you to see them cower or run away.

But you couldn't think of this right now.

You had a mission, a place to be. You needed to find someone. Someone that you knew, all so well, would share your interest.

You walked through Cannibaltown, seeing corpses being consumed while the sickening sound of riping flesh and pained whimpers could be heard.

The poor soul that fell victim to a cannibal on your left seemed to be still alive. You sighted but didn't interfere.

That wasn't your job, and it would do you no good to be known as merciful. You needed to be tough. Otherwise, the reputation you build up over all these years would be for nothing. No one would respect the second princess of hell when she had mercy for someone as low in rank as that demon. Well, at least not in hell.

While you thought about that, trying to be as heartless as possible, you reached your destination. Rosie's establishment.

You knew, for a matter of fact, that the radio demon would be there. After sending out your little shadow spies, you knew when he would be here. You also just could've walked straight up to the hotel and asked him there, but that wouldn't work with your sister there.

You didn't want her to know anything about what would be happening.

You entered the store, even though the sing outside said 'closed'. You looked around a bit till Rosie approached you.

"Hello your Highness, how can I help you?"

She clearly was annoyed that you disturbed the little tea party of hers, but you couldn't care less.

"I was searching for someone. He should be your guest at the moment, Alastor. I need to talk to him!"

You answered her question confidently, watching her facial expressions change to a surprised one.

"Uhmm, yeah, sure, would you like some tea while discussing whatever brings you here?"

You simply nod, following here to a room upstairs, caring yourself with as much grace and confidence you could bring up. You had to hold up the act at any cost. Otherwise, it could be used against you. Even though nobody down here would dare do that, you wanted to be sure. She was everywhere, always watching.

As we entered the room she led me to, I looked around. There was a table near a huge window which led to a balcony. Tea cups and cake placed on it.

When my eyes wandered up, I met his gaze. He grinned smugly at me, almost as if he knew already why I was here.

"Greetings! How can I help you your highness?~"

"I have something to discuss with you."

I looked over my shoulder and glanced at Rosie. She nodded and left, and I sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"I want to make a deal with you."

I watched as his eyes widened, and it looked like he was surprised.

"Well, I certently did expect that.... May I ask why you, out of all hellish kind, would need my help?"

I sighted. This was the moment everything would change. If I say it out loud, I wouldn't be able to take it back. I had to decide whether I really wanted this and wanted revenge for what has been taken from me. Whit the magic I held, I quickly send out my shadows to make sure no one other would hear what I was about to say.

"I know why you've been absent for so long."

He froze in place, smile still remaining but looking as if it was fake, as if it had dropped if it could. But he couldn't. He couldn't allow anyone to see behind his masquerade.

"I know who you made a deal with, and I want to destroy her as much as you want to. I can help you get free from your chains if you help me achieve my revenge."

"My dear.... I'm afraid you don't know what you're saying. As much as I wish you'd speak the truth, im afraid that what you desire can't be accomplished. Not from you or me."

"You don't know everything. She might be stronger in power, but that doesn't mean it's not worth a shot. I guarantee you that I'll make sure you won't get hurt and that in the end, if everything works out as planned, we'll both be finally free from the misery her existence brings us."

I watched as the gears in his head worked while he looked down on his tea. It was risky for both of us. But I had nothing to lose, and from what I knew, he didn't either. I held my hand out, waiting how he would decide as I spoke.

"So what do you say? Are you willing to play this game with me?"

He sighted.

"How could I resist a good game?"

He took me hand and green, and red light illuminated the room.

----------------------------------------------

An: heyy ok so this the best I could do and I hope you like it. I don't know if I will continue this but we'll see what comes next.... take care<3

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor

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gilbertscurls · 1 month ago

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Wrong Direction ➵ Chris Sturniolo

written to cope, sorry if it's bad

Chris had always been there. From scraped knees to high school graduations, he'd been your shadow, your confidant, your anchor. You had been inseparable since childhood, your bond something that others envied. Everyone, including your parents, thought you’d end up together.

And for a while, you thought so too.

Chris was perfect—kind, funny, attentive. He knew you better than anyone. He remembered your favorite songs, brought you coffee on stressful study nights, and always made you feel safe. Your parents adored him. To them, it was obvious. Why wouldn't you love him? He was every bit the dream boyfriend.

But despite all that, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in your chest. It felt like something was missing.

You had tried to push that feeling away. You wanted to love Chris the way he loved you. He made it so easy. He wasn’t just a good guy—he was the guy. Your friends would remind you how lucky you were, your parents would nudge you towards him with subtle comments and approving smiles, and part of you desperately wished you could return his affection with the same intensity.

Yet every time he looked at you with those soft, hopeful eyes, your heart felt heavy instead of light.

One evening, after another dinner at your parents’ house where they all but asked when you and Chris would make things official, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You were walking back to your apartment in comfortable silence, the streets bathed in the soft glow of streetlights. Chris had his hands stuffed in his pockets, glancing at you every so often like he always did, waiting for you to start talking.

“Chris…” you began, your voice a little too quiet.

He turned to you, his face lighting up like it always did when you said his name. "Yeah?"

You stopped walking, and he did too, concern immediately flickering in his expression. You took a breath, feeling the weight of your words before they left your mouth.

“I’ve tried,” you started, your throat tightening. “I’ve tried so hard to feel the way everyone thinks I should. The way you feel about me.”

Chris frowned, taking a step closer. “What do you mean? I thought… I mean, I thought we were good. We’ve been good, right?”

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you cursed yourself for it. You hated hurting him, hated that you couldn’t just love him the way he deserved.

“I care about you so much, Chris. You’re my best friend. But…” Your voice cracked. “I don’t feel the same way. I’ve tried. I really tried. You’ve done everything right, and I hate that I can’t love you back. I hate that I’m letting everyone down.”

Chris’s face fell, the hope draining from his eyes. His mouth opened, but no words came out. Instead, he stared at you, searching your face as if hoping this was some cruel joke, that you’d take it back.

“I… I don’t understand,” he finally whispered, his voice thick with hurt. “We’ve always been close, and… And I thought maybe you felt something too.”

“I thought I did,” you admitted. “But when it comes down to it, something’s just… Missing. And it’s not your fault. It’s not you at all. It’s just… Me.”

For a long moment, you stood in the quiet of the night, the tension between you thick and suffocating. Chris finally looked away, blinking rapidly as if trying to hold back tears.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he said softly, his voice breaking.

“You won’t,” you promised, even though you knew things would never be the same. “You’ll always be my best friend. I just… I can’t be what everyone else wants me to be. I can’t force something that’s not there.”

Chris nodded, his jaw tight. “I get it,” he said, though the pain in his eyes said otherwise. “I just… I wish things were different.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

You stood in silence for what felt like hours before Chris finally spoke again, his voice strained but steady.

“I’ll always be here for you,” he said, managing a small, sad smile. “Even if it’s just as your friend.”

Your heart clenched, both relieved and heartbroken at the same time. “Thank you,” you whispered.

As you continued walking, the silence between you was different now—heavier, filled with unspoken words and unfulfilled hopes. The night air was cool, and the distance between you felt wider than ever.

You didn’t know if things would ever go back to how they were. But you knew one thing for sure: no matter how much it hurt, being honest with Chris was the right thing to do.

Some things, no matter how perfect they seemed on paper, couldn’t be forced.

tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom

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etheries1015 · 1 year ago

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Malleus X reader- when you wish upon a star

Malleus looked down at you with kind eyes as he held out his wishing star, you taking a hesitant glance at the fae.

"Are you sure you want to give it to me? I don't particularly have a wish in mind," you shrugged. Malleus urged it into your hands before stating;

"Well, grim took yours and crowley did not allow you to have a second one, correct? I have no need for such a silly tradition. If I would like something, I can simply ask for it," Malleus said with endearment hinting in his voice. You sighed before finally agreeing, taking in a deep breath before closing your eyes and making your wish.

"I wish...that the people from my world can forget me." Malleus started at this, eyes widening in shock, while you stared blankly down into your hands only to see that the star had not glown to your wish. Chuckling in disappointment you handed the rock back to Malleus, who stared at you in bewilderment.

"It won't come true, anyways," you sighed, "Like Idia said, it reacts to body heat and traces of magic. And I'm...completely magicless. What a sick reminder, I can't even make a wish," you let out a shaky laugh with a melancholic look glinting in your eyes.

"Why do you wish to be forgotten, child of man?" Malleus finally inquired, "I'm sure anyone you knew from where you hail wouldn't want to forget you, surely." You couldn't meet his gaze, instead you placed your hands in your pockets before kicking a rock on the ground down the steps of ramshackle.

" It doesn't look like I will be able to go back anytime soon. It would be much less painful for them if they forgot me, If they havent already. I...am easily forgetable. Always have been, always will be..." You shook your head as another sigh escaped your trembling lips. "Sorry... I didnt mean to sully the mood-" you were interrupted by strong arms pulling you into an embrace. Malleus was hugging you tightly, using one hand to hold your head and the other to carefully hold the star.

"I wish..." He whispered after a moment of silence and hesitation, "I wish that I will never, ever forget you. I wish for all of your woes to resolve, and I wish that you will find a way home. I wish you can smile happily in your future, and I wish you can see just how important you are."

The star began to glow brightly, more brilliant than any of the other stars that had shined during the entire starsend event. You froze in place in the warmth of his arms, it didnt occur to you that tears bad begun to stream down your face. You held onto Malleus tightly, the fae stroking your hair comfortingly.

"I could never forget someone as kind as yourself, (y/n)," he said, "even when you inevitably find a way back home, I will forever remember you as the human who treated a fae such as myself as if I were just another student. You are far more important than you may realize, and I'm sure everyone that you left behind eagerly await your return." You couldn't bring yourself to find a response, you only shook your head and cried even harder.

He really knew how to make you feel special, even when it seems as if you can easily disappear into the shadows without anyone giving a second thought. Malleus Draconia....you too, shall not forget him.

It was probably a bad idea for him to make so many wishes though. And with his immense amount of magical prowess, your intimate moment was quickly interrupted by the star shattering. Oops!

~~ end

A/n- I was thinking about a scenario about maybe Yuu using their wish for Malleus, wishing he would live a life that wasn't lonely or something like that. However...I felt like it would be a...cooler twist if we had insecure and lonely Yuu instead.

This was also thrown together on a whim. Not my best works but feel free to check out my master list for more content.

#malleus #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #Malleus x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland fanfics #Twisted wonderland malleus

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tojisbbygworl · 1 year ago

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Before I Let Go - Yandere!Miguel O’Hara x Reader

Summary: A grieving woman comes face to face with her thought to be deceased husband and can't find it in her to care about how wrong this was. She missed him. So much.

WARNINGS: Thoughts of Suicide, Suicide Attempt

Words: 4,994

Tags: 18+, 3rd person, Angst, Emotional Smut, Desperation, Grief/Mourning, Yandere, Spying, Kidnapping, Minimal Spanish terms of endearment

author's note: hey y'all. I have another fic for you. I am so glad I finished it it's been sitting in my drafts for a minute. The yandere part of this isn't violent although there is some slight physical pain put on the reader during sex. Just a mention of choking and scratching it's not bad. It's more obsession if anything. Also, I wasn't even gonna try with the Spanish girl. The most he says is carina and hermosa and I know y'all are sick of seeing that atp. I barely even tried with the British for Hobie I'm not about to embarrass myself LMAO

I hope this makes y'all sad honestly I feel like I could have made it sadder but I'm still very happy with it. Anyway, enjoy! 🩵

AO3 version

My AO3

Masterlist

The buzzing sound of a phone call is all that can be heard in the apartment. It has been a week since the funeral, and Y/N O’Hara hasn’t said a single word. She doesn't even remember what her voice sounds like.

Miguel O'Hara was everything to her. He meant the entire world. She would do anything he asked, but he never asked for much. All he wanted was her love. She was the same with him. A perfect partnership. She felt like she was on top of the universe. And then it was taken away from her. In a fucking car crash, no less.

He was the smartest person she knew. He was the head geneticist at Alchemax after all. He wasn't a stupid driver. No. It was the other driver's fault. But what could she do about it? It was just a kid. A teenager that had just gotten their license, but hadn't taken official driving lessons; no one really drilled into them the severity of texting while driving. How could she really blame them? How could she press charges? Miguel always told her that she was too forgiving. Too understanding.

He was right. But...she also couldn't help but to think it wasn't fair. That her beautiful husband had to die from their actions, and all they had to deal with was an insane insurance increase and a fucked up car that their parents were bound to replace. She would give anything to trade consequences. Anything.

Almost two months since his death, she's been wandering around her apartment frequenting the most common places she and Miguel would cuddle in. She always had a shared blanket, one of his shirts, or a pillow that had his hair on it to squeeze and cry into. If she sprayed it with his cologne and shut her eyes really tight, she could almost imagine he really was there. Almost.

These objects could never replace him. She missed his warmth. She missed his chest pushing her head up and down from his breathing. It would rumble when he chuckled. His hands were so large that her entire back would heat up when he held her gently. He was so tall, 6'6 to be exact, he would completely engulf her whenever they embraced. She felt so safe in his arms. She doesn't feel safe anymore.

Nearly two months of hunching over on the floor of her apartment in pain. She wailed into the ground. Coughing and scratching whatever she could hold onto, because the pain was too much to bare. Oh, the pain. She wouldn't wish this kind of heartbreak on anyone or anything.

The apartment was large, courtesy of his checks. He could already afford it on his own, then, the both of them married just a few years ago and he didn't expect her to pay a dime, despite how much she insisted. Instead, she bought food and handled upkeep. If it got too expensive, then he would chip in. She would have to move out eventually, his remaining income and life insurance the only thing keeping her afloat. Just another thing that she can’t fathom.

It was 3 bed, 2 bath. One was their bedroom, the other was his office, she's been going in there a lot as well, and they always wondered what they would do with the last room. For so long, it was empty even before she moved in with him. He never knew what he could use it for. He had hoped that she would turn it into a hobby room, she loved to paint and she played the violin a little, but there was a beautiful terrace attached to the apartment that she opted for instead and she insisted the living room had the best acoustics so the room remained a mystery. Until last year, when he dropped a bomb on her.

It was an extremely average day for the both of them. They were both home from work, nothing interesting to report, and were deciding what to eat for dinner. She suggests something they could cook, and he agrees. As the night goes on, something seems off about Miguel. He's quiet and zoning out a lot. Something has to be on his mind, right?

"Babe," she calls for him snapping him out of his trance.

"Hm?"

"Everything alright?" She puts her hand on his shoulders and gives him a worried look. Miguel swallows his spit then turns towards her grabbing her hand and placing his on her waist.

"I've been thinking..." His voice is small. She starts to grow anxious as she had never seen him look so timid. He was more nervous than when he asked her to marry him.

"W-What is it?" She stutters. He kisses her knuckles.

"It's just something that I've been wanting for a while now. And if you don't, then It's completely fine. I care about your happiness above everything."

"Miguel, stop being so cryptic and tell me what's up," She half jokes.

He nervously bites his lips and looks away. Then, taking a deep breath, he looks into her eyes and says, "I want to have a kid."

She felt it was best to pretend the work-in-progress nursery didn't exist. In her mind, the room is still empty. There wasn’t a crib set up. The walls weren't in the process of being painted. They didn't have arguments about what to put on it because they didn't know the gender. In fact, gender of what? They weren't planning for a baby. The third room is as empty as she is.

The both of them were foolish, deciding to get everything set up before she got pregnant instead of winging it like everyone else. She should have winged it. Then maybe she would still have a piece of him with her.

It was so fucking hard to focus on what mattered. She was hanging on a thread that thinned out every single day. Before the funeral, she wondered what would be her breaking point? The point where she finally got up and decided to keep going.

The weather was very fitting for that day. The sun was gone, and the rain came in waves. Her tears, however, never stopped. It was a stupid decision to make it open casket. She gazed upon his resting face for the first time since he died in the hospital then turned and ran to the nearest bathroom to empty her stomach. She hadn’t even gotten to say her speech; Miguel’s mother read for her instead.

Something inside her snapped. Sometimes the pain is a dull ache in her chest, and she’s numb everywhere else. Other times it’s a sharp twang that she can feel in her back. She has to lay or sit down when that happens. Sometimes it courses through her entire upper body and she can’t even move. But this…this stabbing, twisting, and searing pain that ripples through her heart and travels to the tip of her fingers and toes…she hasn’t felt this before.

This was the breaking point, but it did the opposite. She didn’t talk for the rest of the day, her and his family begging her to stay with them. She didn’t listen.

It was nights like tonight that she felt completely alone. She knew she wasn’t, if she just picked up the phone and texted someone, then maybe she would be okay. She just needed to stop looking at the ceiling, turn to her nightstand, pick up her phone, and call her mother. But it was 1 in the morning, and Miguel looked so happy in her lock screen picture…

Her and Miguel had been up here on the top of the apartment building so many times before. They liked to dance, he would watch her play or paint, they had picnics together, it was perfect when they wanted to get out of the apartment, but still have some privacy.

The view was nice. They could see across the entirety of Nueva York. Central Park in the fall was especially amazing to gaze upon. But now it fills her with grief. As she steps on top of the edge, she decides that if this couldn’t make her feel better, then nothing could.

She’s glad she’s doing this in the middle of the night, where no one could see her and call for help. She was sure that she would traumatize a couple people when morning came, a problem that she couldn’t be bothered by. She was ready to be back in his arms. So she walked off. And closed her eyes as she plummeted through the air.

She’s scared. But excited. She only has to feel excruciating pain for a second and then never again. It’s almost over.

She hits something, or more so, something hits her. She’s still flying through the air, but it’s different now. There’s a warm body holding onto her for dear life, and she’s soaring upwards into the night sky. Opening her eyes to gaze at her savior, she sees a masked silhouette. It-it’s Spider-Man…but he looks completely different. She can barely see him, the only source of light being the moon, but she could swear that this wasn’t his mask.

They land on the rooftop again and he puts her down. She crawls away from him, embarrassed and ashamed at what she’s done. She was still alive and now she was in more pain than ever before. Wailing on the floor, she glared up at him in vitriol.

“Why did you save me?” She yelled, her voice powerful for a woman who hadn’t been verbal for a week. Spider-Man didn’t answer. She wasn’t even sure if he was looking at her. “I didn’t want to be saved.” Still, he said nothing. So she continued to cry, and she cried harder and harder until she felt a sensation on her back.

He was trying to comfort her, but when she turned he backed off, holding his hands up instead. Her lips quivered, then she threw herself into his arms. His hold on her body was snug and comforting. Her anger for him dissipates immediately as she accepts his affection. For the first time in a while, she felt safe. She didn’t want him to let go.

And he didn’t. He stayed until she fell asleep in his arms. Then, he picked her up, gazing upon her peaceful face with the light from the inter dimensional portal, then walked into it with no intention of coming back.

This wasn’t her room.

She sat up in the bed and took in her surroundings. These weren’t her sheets, that wasn’t her wallpaper, the blinds were different, the floor wasn’t carpeted, everything even the floor plan of the room was different. This isn’t her home.

Her heart begins to pound. Where was she? She was still in her clothes, but that’s the only comfort that she had. Immediately, she shoots out of the bed, the comforter tangling in her feet making her fall onto the floor. The large thump that her fall makes scares her. She stays on the floor, still and quiet as a mouse. There's no noise for a couple seconds. Then, the sound of someone walking.

She hyperventilates, quickly removing herself from the blanket and standing up. But she realizes that she has no where to go. There's a small closet in the room, and space under the bed, but those the only hiding spaces she can think of. And the footsteps were getting closer. What can she do, she wonders as she backs into the wall.

The door swings open. And her heart stops.

Miguel stared at his wife's variant in concern and turns on the light. The woman blinks and shields her eyes, but the bewildered look that she sported quickly comes back. "What happened?"

When he spoke, she gasped and took another step back. She smacked her hand over her mouth. Her eyes glistened with tears, her breath shuddered. "You're alright?" Miguel asked her again. She didn't answer.

For what felt like the longest time, they just stared at each other. He was afraid of approaching her thinking he may scare her away. She was in completely disbelief at what she was seeing. Miguel raised his hands and stayed near the door way. "Please, don't freak out," he began.

She let out a sob, tears escaping her eyes when she did. Placing her hand on her chest, she lifts herself from the wall. Miguel takes this as a sign to keep going.

"I know you must be confused. You're probably upset and angry. I understand." She took a step forward. "But if you would just left me explain..." Another step. Then another. And another. And she held her hand out in front of her. As she approached him, he realized how badly she was trembling, and it only got worse the closer she got. But still, she moved forward.

The speech Miguel had been practicing before she woke up died in his throat. He was speechless as he watched her courageously close the space between them. When she finally stood right in front of him, she hesitated. He could hear her soft gasps and cries. Then finally, she softly touched his chest. He looked down at her hand, then up at her face. Even though she was crying profusely, she looked upon him in wonder. He just wants to reach out and grab her, but he holds himself back.

She begins to rub his chest and torso, appalled by his presence. He looks back down at her hands. Then, they trail themselves up to his neck, stopping right under his chin. He lifts his head up. They both hold their breath for a second. Then, with a gasp from her, and a sigh from him, she finally touches his cheek. Miguel closes his eyes and leans into her palm. He lifts his arm up, and encases her hand in his, keeping it in place.

Her lips begin to move. With a tiny shaky breath, she whispers, "It's you."

Miguel's face is troubled. He has a small frown and his eyebrows were upturned. He twists his head in her palm to give it a small kiss.

Her eyes flicker all over his body. It is him...but he's different. He's taller now. His build is thicker and he feels tense. Miguel was a gym buff, but this man...this kind of definition is not built in the gym. His frown is deep, and so are his wrinkles. His eyes were more troubled than hers, and had the slightest hint of red. And his teeth...she could feel his sharp canines with her thumb.

"No," she realizes. "It's not you."

Miguel opens his eyes and stares at her. He can see the fear growing on her face, and he starts to panic. He moves his hand to her wrist to hold it gently. But he's prepared to squeeze it if she tries to run. "I'm not him. But-"

"But you look like him." She continues, her voice on the precipice of hysteria. "And you sound like him." She holds both of his cheeks and caresses his face with her thumbs. "And you feel like him..."

Miguel winces as he watches her cry louder and louder with every observation. "Cariña, please," He takes her hands off of his face and kisses her knuckles. She completely breaks down crying. Miguel reaches his arms out, and she throws herself into his chest, sobbing into his neck. "You don't have to cry anymore. I'm here now."

"But who are you?" Her voice muffled by his shoulder.

He gulps. "...I am Miguel, but-"

"But you're not my Miguel, are you?" She lifts her head up to stare at him. She looked anguished, her brain not being able to process what was going on. He doesn't answer. "Did you save me?" He nodded. "Why?"

"I had to, baby. I-"

"Where did you come from?" She pushes herself off of him, and Miguel can't find it in him to hold her there. He let's go of her, knowing that there is no where she can really run where he won't find her. "No, where have you been?"

He furrows his brows and tilts his head. "What?"

"Where the hell have you been?" She screams at him in unbridled rage. Her tears were never ending, and her glare was fierce. "I was in fucking agony when you died. I couldn't live with myself. I couldn't get over you. I didn't want to. I missed you so much." Her anger turned into desperation and she falls to her knees on the floor, weeping into her hands. Miguel looks on in desolation, his eyes filling with tears as well. He walks to her and leans down, trying to get her to stand. She flips her head up at him. "Who are you?"

"Please, let me explain." He sits on the floor with her, holds her face and leans into it. She doesn't pull away, instead, she kisses him first, her cries never ending. Her hands tangle themselves in his hair. Miguel wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her into him. He sits back and pulls her into his lap.

The kiss lasts until they run out of breath, then they pull away, panting in each others' faces. "I...am Miguel." He starts. "But not your Miguel. And you are not my Y/N."

She shakes her head and scrunches up her face. "Just listen." Her mouth closes again, and she relaxes preparing herself to take in every word he says...

...Miguel spent a lot of time watching her. His Y/N, across the multiverse. In each one, they are together. It's fate. And in every one...she dies. No matter what that universe's Miguel does, she dies. That must be fate, too. Then he found a universe where that didn't happen. He died instead. He took a chance, and when he replaced himself he was the happiest he had ever been. And then everything was destroyed. An entire universe...gone. He swore to never interfere with fate again. He whispered a soft 'sorry' to every Miguel he found after that.

He saw her, Y/N on Earth - 548. Happy as ever with her devilishly handsome husband. He felt for him. He had no idea the heartbreak he was about to experience. But, for the second time in his studies, he was the one who died. He cried, knowing that he could never do anything about it. When she became a shell of her former self, he focused all of his attention on her. Putting all of his work on Jess and Peter, he monitored her. He watched her cry, she spent all of her time off from work at home rolling around in her bed as if the emotional pain was so strong that it was physical as well. He watched her touch herself at night, whispering his name into the empty air, him joining her from where he was spying groaning her name as well, wishing his cum was dripping from her cunt instead of down his hand. He called for her, hoping that his prayers to keep her safe would reach who ever was listening. They didn't.

He knew that when she sat up like a ghost from her bed that fateful night, she was about to do something rash. He held his hand over his watch, ready to jump as soon as he felt he needed to. When she began to walk to the edge, he decided to not even risk it and hopped into the portal.

He didn't expect her to turn and scream at him the way she did. He hadn't heard her beautiful voice for some time, he missed it so much, and the first thing she did was yell at him. He was stunned. He couldn't believe she was right in front of him. He looked at his watch. No indication of a canon event. There was nothing. Which meant...she was never supposed to die.

He was impulsive, he knows that. But, it worked out in his favor. She was supposed to be alive. He had done right. And now he had a decision to make. Does he leave her here to figure everything out on her own, or does he take her with him...and let her family think she's dead…

“You were watching me?”

Miguel refuses to meet her eyes. She didn’t move, but he tightened his grip around her just in case. Her voice was wavering.

When he didn’t answer, she continued. “Why didn’t you save him?”

He looked up at her that time. Above everything else, she was melancholy. “I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“I just couldn’t, mi amor. You don’t understand.”

With her face contorted in pain, she released a choked sob. Her mouth was hung open. If she chose to believe this imposter, than hearing that nothing could have been done about the love of her life brought her no comfort. It wasn’t fair.

She gripped Miguel’s shirt letting her head fall forward into his chest. He held her for a long time while her shoulders shook. “Please, believe me.”

She doesn’t say anything, but her cries stopped. He began to worry, but she soon lifted her head up and looked into his eyes. His flicked back and forth between hers, and the both of them dive into another passionate kiss. This time, they don’t let up from each other. It gets more intense. Miguel’s breath picks up as his hands begin to explore her back and waist. She pushes her body up against his, rubbing their chests together.

She’s the one who pulls away opting to kiss down from his cheek to his neck. “Just come to bed with me. Please?” She begs into his skin.

Miguel, in a daze, whispers “Okay.”

He lifts her up and lays her down onto his bed, kissing her sweetly as he climbed on top of her. He felt so much bliss, he never imagined he would be able to do this again.

The way she grabbed his face made him never want to physically leave her side again. This was where he wanted to stay for the rest of their lives. She kissed him with so much despair, so much need, how could he ever leave her mouth? But, the strain in his pants and the grip she had on his back get worse, and he finds a reason to pull away.

She whimpers, missing the way his tongue caressed her mouth, leaving her lips swollen and shiny. Her eyes open, silently asking him where he was going, until he reached under the hem of her shirt and lifts it off of her, exposing her beautiful breasts. She gasps when he begins to rub his hand between them, eventually grabbing one to hold and play with. Miguel grins at her while she watches him rub his thumb across her hardened nipple. Which turned into her watching him dip his head down to her sternum and leave the smallest, lightest kiss.

The restraint he had on himself as he trailed his mouth down her body was unnatural. His claws had long since come out, ripping into the bedsheets as he tried so hard not replace them with her luscious hips. She was responding unbelievably well, making him happy he didn’t listen to Lyla tell him how terrible of an idea this was.

Lyla was wrong, he told himself when he heard her soft cry as his tongue played with her nipple. She began to squirm from frustration, and he just had to push his hips in between her open legs, the heat from his dick making her rub her wet panties along his shaft. Miguel moaned with her nipple fully inside his mouth, her moaning with him from the vibration against her chest.

She’s not scared of me, he thought as he leaves her nipple and kisses down her body. His lips finally met up with her panties, opting to push them to the side instead of taking them off completely. He places a kiss on her sensitive clit, his precum staining his underwear when she yelps. Miguel takes a moment to look at her glistening pussy, then he closes his eyes when he finally licks it.

And she doesn’t hate me. Miguel looks drunk when he starts eating her out. His eyebrows are raised and he gently placed her hand on her spread thigh, caressing the soft skin. Her whines making him even more desperate to please her, he presses his tongue into her center harder. His lips are covered with her fluid. Miguel gives her thigh a nice squeeze, then a slap, then he stands up straight.

When she opens her eyes to look at him, her heart races. His eyelids were low, and he towered over body making her feel smaller than she was. His stare was filled with infatuation, wiping off his lower face with one swipe of his large hand. Without breaking eye contact, he rips his shirt off and swipes his pants and underwear down, his large member bouncing back up. Miguel spit into his palm and started jerking himself off. Then, he climbs onto the bed, aligning his hips with hers.

He drools onto her pussy, her shuddering as his spit meets her clit and runs down her lips. It does well to lube her up with Miguel rubbing his tip in between her folds. “Ngh…fuck,” he mutters, the feeling of her wet cunt on his sensitive head giving him a feeling of euphoria.

She grew impatient, while Miguel was trying to take his time and savor her, she was ready to feel him split her apart. This was something she’s been dreaming about since she lost him. She waited for the day his naked body would engulf hers, his face on her cheek whispering filthy insults and sweet praises into her ear. As she remembers how sex used to be with her love, she starts to tear up.

“Miguel,” she whined making him look at her worriedly. When his eyes open, the red she noticed before is even more prominent. His mouth was opened slightly so she could barely see his fangs. How he could look so similar yet so different from her Miguel, she doesn’t know.

“Yes?” He asks her.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer. I want…” She moves her hips on him again. Miguel looks down at their hips and holds hers still.

He doesn’t respond, just pushes his length into her slowly. He grunts as he sheathes himself inside her warmth, reveling in her cries. “Shit, baby.” She’s tight and squeezing him so nicely, he can’t stop until he's inside of her fully.

She’s breathing heavily with her head thrown back and her eyes closed. Her back is arched lifting her naked chest into the air. “Look at me,” Miguel commands. She lifts her head up giving him what he wanted. Her eyes are filled with tears. It hurts, but feels so good. She missed him so much, and now they were one again.

Miguel whimpers at her beautiful face. “Hermosa,” he reaches out to her cheek to hold it. “Don’t cry.”

“But I love you,” she tells him.

He gasps. His hand lifts from her face. Freezing, he stares into her eyes in disbelief. “W-What?”

She takes his hand and brings it to her lips, leaving a gentle smooch. Her eyes close and the tears fall. “I love you, Miguel.”

His eyesight gets blurry as well, and soon Miguel is crying profusely. “Oh, baby,” he leans over her and pulls his hips backwards. Then he slams himself back down, making her yelp. She grabs his face and kisses him. “I love you too.”

As Miguel fucks her slowly, neither of them can find it in them to stay quiet. Miguel has to tell her how terribly in love with her he is. She has to let him know how much she missed him. He leans into her neck and whispers how he missed her too, and to stop crying because he’s here now. Even though, he can’t stop crying either.

She’s so happy to hear that he will never leave her side. She decides to believe him, accepting happiness instead of reality. She ignores his red eyes, his sharp fangs that press against her neck, as if he can barely hold himself back from biting her. She ignores how different the rumbling in his chest is from her Miguel. It’s not soft or sweet nor does it make her content. This one is predatory and dangerous, it makes her nervous.

She dismisses the way he grabs her neck; tight, leaving her with no air, whereas her Miguel knew that she didn’t like it rough. Honestly, neither did he. This Miguel went faster and harder. He grunted into her ear. But, she doesn't care.

She completely ignores how different this Miguel was. Her wishes were answered. She got him back. It doesn’t matter that his hold on her hip was so strong that he’s scratching her. That he didn’t stop or slow down when she came making her overstimulated. She let him cum inside her soon after, knowing that she wasn’t on anything.

“I miss you so fucking much,” she wailed when he slipped his dick out of her, his cum following suit and staining the bed beneath her.

Instead of getting a warm towel, Miguel laid down next to her and pulled her into his arms silencing her cries. “I told you baby, I’m right here.” But she doesn’t correct herself. She doesn’t calm down. She grips him for dear life and Miguel grows nervous.

Lyla was wrong…right?

“You know she will never love you the way she loved him. It will never be the same. Miguel...are you listening?”

“Lyla…shut down.”

ending a/n: Heyyyyy, did y'all like it? This will definitely not be my only Miguel fic but rn I don't really have any ideas for him. My brain is filled with thoughts of Hobie, and I need to stop neglecting my baby daddy Toji, lmao. So I'll be working on a real quick Hobie imagine and my AO3 stories as well for now. Unless I think of something else. I've been thinking about requests but I will fuck around and make a whole story from it cuz idk how to stop writing so damn much. Y'all I rly dk if I want to make another part to JFTN I rly like how it ended and I can't rly think about how I would continue it. Y'all might just have to deal idk girl. I love ya though! Anyway, I'll see y'all in the next story!🩵

AO3 version

My AO3

Masterlist

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o hara x reader #spiderman 2099 #spider man 2099 smut #yandere #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere miguel x reader

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