#I reread this and I feel like I didn't make myself clear enough

[hazbinbabbling4ever]

"But defending anything he may have done out of love for the material you hold near and dear simply isn’t it." This so much "I’ve seen too many people try to make this situation about fandom when it’s about the actions of (1) man." This is not about fandom and both sides doing this are wrong in my opinion. Making this about the fandom it's like pointing a finger at the moon and looking at the finger. The most obvious thing right now is not assuaging who's Pure and who's not Pure in this fandom. The most obvious thing is that 1 man did so much harm and it's finally time he pays for it all.

Reminder that the news about Gaiman doesn’t mean you have to let go of your love or personal attachment to his work. If Coraline or Good Omens bring you comfort and joy? Then that’s something you’ve personally fostered. You do not owe him anything and you don’t have to abandon those works you love. Anyone telling you otherwise is misguided — But defending anything he may have done out of love for the material you hold near and dear simply isn’t it. You can love those things and fully just not got involved with what’s going on with the man himself. That’d be better for not only your own mental health but for the situation itself.

You don’t need to speak about Gaiman or defend him to justify your Good Omens gif sets or defend your Coraline hoodie or copy of American Gods or enjoyment of The Sandman…… I’ve seen too many people try to make this situation about fandom when it’s about the actions of (1) man. He is the one on trial here, not you. Remember that and be respectful to those coming forward.

TL;DR: Fandom spaces have a tendency to try and get involved in steering IRL narratives and this isn’t the time or place. Keep your fandom separate from how you engage with these incredibly devastating real life updates.

[harrystylesfan2686]

Pieces Part 5

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Az finally gets his chance but not without warnings.

A/N: first of, I wanna say thank you to everyone who supported when things went down with that anon. I love you all so much and I'm so happy you guys are with me. I admit I was a 🤏tad demotivated to write this part but when I reread all your comments and reminded myself how much you guys love this story, I put on my thinking hat and got to work again. I hope you guys like this part!! And plzzzz don't put hate comments on someone's account, for you it just takes like a minute to type and send but for that person it will be stuck on their mind for a long time.

Pieces Masterlist

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Standing in front of your mate's room should be happy and exciting, not anxious and scary.

I finally built up enough courage to come to River House and meet Azriel. See how he's doing and figure out if he deserves another chance. When I told my friends about this, they told me I should do this only if I feel ready to do so, not because I'm felling sympathetic over Azriel.

They're right. And I'm doing this because I'm ready.

I remind myself that when I raise my hand and knock on the door. Cassian told me which room he was staying in, he didn't need to though, I could guess which room it was judging from the fact that it's in the end of the hallway and is covered in darkness when it's still day outside.

Maybe I should've given him a warning before coming and burging in so suddenly... Oh well.

I knock again when the door doesn't open and wait for another five minutes. I frown and step closer to that door. "Azriel? It's me." I hesitantly speak and go to knock again but the door abrutly opens and I flinch back.

There he stands.

The most beautiful male I've ever seen. With bright hazel and wide wings on his back. He's shirtless, standing just in his pants.

Breathing heavy he takes me in, observing me just as I do him. I see exactly what Mor was talking about. His face looks sucked in and body more lean, covered in shadows just as I thought.

But he's still the most amazing male I've ever seen.

I smile softly. "May I come in?"

His eyes widen as though he doesn't believe what I'm saying. I don't too.

I chuckle. "I just wish to talk."

"I-uh. Yes. Of course." He clears his throat and opens the door wider for me come in. He hurriedly tries to fix the room a little, picking up cloths or dishes that were on the floor and quicky takes out a shirt to wear it while I close the door behind us. I stand in the middle of the room and he comes in front of me when he deems himself more presentable.

The room seems a little brighter. He clears his throat again while we stand in front of each other. The awkwardness is clear to the both of us as we wait for the other to speak. He decides to go first.

"You look beautiful." He speaks softly and my heart instanty melts. I mumble a small thanks and stand a little straighter, ready to say what I came here to say. I look into his eyes with a firm expression.

"I've been thinking. This month has been, well, different to say the least. It's taught me that if I have to, I can perfectly live happily with myself. I don't need you to go on with my life." His face falls but he nods. "But I want you." His eyes snap to mine.

"I won't lie. I love you, Azriel. But I will not take you back unless you make it up to me. You broke my heart. You broke my trust. And now, as foolish as I am," I shake my head."I'm giving you another chance. One Last Chance. If you mess up again, that will be it. I will leave and I will never come back. Doesn't matter how much our hearts and sauls ach. Understand?" He nods.

"Words, Azriel."

"Yes! Yes. Of course. I promise you I will never do anything like this again." He looks at me with hopeful eyes.

"Alright. Now rules, first you don't get me back. You have to win me back. Court me, properly. And I will think about it evertime you do something meaningful." He spills out an of course.

"Second, no talking to Elain. I mean, you can talk but you have to make time for me too." I frown.

"You don't have to worry about that. I've already pushed Elain out of my life. The second I came here and she asked of me, I firmly told her that I will never speak to her again. She cried but I don't care. I kicked her out of this room and slamed the door at her face. You're more important." He breaths.

"Third, final rule, this is not a one week thing Azriel. You have to understand that you will have to make up for a long time. I had suffered for an entire year, you have a year to make up to."

"I promise you, my love. I will make up to you. I will win your back. And this time, I won't let you go."

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Tag list: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @going-through-shit @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @cat-or-kitten @pricklepearbloom @bxm-1012 @peachcontour-blog @fxckmiup @ohthemisssery @crazylokonugget @anuttellaa

[nobodywritingao3]

unnamed monster & caretaker au

Tasked with feeding and caring for the king's resident monster, Tommy is constantly overworked and fully expects to die before he's twenty. He has an odd relationship with the beast and makes it a point to keep details about himself private, but it's difficult when the creature is the closest thing in the world he has to a friend.

wordcount: 2.3k 🕸 read it on AO3

CW: - hard vore mention - soft vore mention - mentioned abuse and dehumanization

‼️‼️‼️ Unfinished, unedited one shot. Proceed with caution

@gracideaviolet sent me a writing prompt and this is what i originally wrote for it. i like the concept but i wrote this at a not-good time and when i reread it, i didnt like the quality enough to fix it. if you like this story, let me know cuz that might give me motivation to properly finish this thing. feel free to take the idea but please credit and send it to me cuz i like this story and wanna see what someone else does with it

Tommy finished loading the cart and took a second to breathe.

He heard the beast shifting around in the dark. "Are you doing okay out there, Sunshine?"

Despite his tiredness, the sweet nickname made him smile.

"You know you eat a lot? It's a pain in the ass to load myself."

He meant it as a joke but silence hung in the air a second longer than it should have.

He cleared his throat. "I don't mind it. I'm compensated."

The beast snorted. "Not enough."

Tommy laughed awkwardly and didn't say anything.

He walked over to the control panel and started up the track.

The cart was big enough to fit a barn, and filled to the brim with various livestock, prisoners of war, and whoever else might have found themselves on the king's hit-list. Nothing sent to the monster was alive. It was a point the monster whined about a lot, but Tommy much preferred it that way. It was already disgusting having to spend hours upon hours piling the cart with bloody meat (sometimes human!) by himself, and the day he was handed a living person would be the day he faked his death and fled the kingdom.

He pressed a few buttons, tried not to cut himself on several rusty levers, and the rail obediently started itself up with a few revs and puffs.

The beast hummed contentedly at the noise.

The cart began to run along the track, disappearing from his view and descending into the inky black cave. He heard the gate creak open and he heard it creak close. And then he heard the beast begin to eat.

They weren't nice sounds by any stretch of the imagination - ugly rips and wet squelches of flesh - but Tommy had been at the job for a while and was long used to it. He settled in and waited for the creature to finish its meal.

"So how was your day, Keeper?"

Tommy hummed. "About the same as it always is. My master told me that the king will be coming in soon for a performance review, but I've no idea when that might be."

The beast paused its munching before hesitantly starting again a moment later. "I - why?"

He shrugged, assuming the monster could see him from the dark. "Something about me holding down this job the longest out of anyone before."

"Hm."

"I don't understand why that would intrigue the king. And no offense to you personally - "

"Uh huh," the monster sarcastically interjected -

" - but this isn't exactly the career path I'd have chosen. If I knew how to transfer I probably would have. Honestly - I have no idea how the others could have quit this job. I was under the impression that this is the sort of thing you do until you die."

It laughed at that.

Tommy sighed.

He was quiet for a few moments, a question sitting heavy on his tongue.

He shouldn't ask. It's impolite.

The monster shifted around. "Spit it out."

He gave the darkness an accusatory look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

There was a huff of laughter. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're doing that thing where you want to say something but are worried about what I'll think. It would be adorable if I wasn't desperate for decent conversation."

"Fuck you." He said it with a smile.

"Well? Are you going to say or not?"

He scrubbed at his face. Fuck it. "What were your other keepers like?"

The beast went silent for several long moments.

Shit. "You don't have to answer if you - "

"I didn't much care for them."

Tommy didn't say a word.

"The feeling was mutual." It sighed heavily. "You're a much better replacement, Sunshine."

"I'm sorry for asking."

The beast purred. "Don't be, dear. I pressed you. And I don't mind answering." It jostled the cart. "And I'm done eating."

Tommy nodded and powered up the control panel again. The cart began to recede. 

It appeared from the darkness, picked completely clean and shiny as if it never been covered in blood at all.

It scared him a little, how quickly the monster could eat such a large amount, but he dismissed those thoughts as easily as they came. When would that ever affect him?

He checked the clock. He still had a few hours before he had to report back. "Do you mind if I stay with you longer?"

The monster laughed conspiratorially. "Oh, but that's against the rules," it said in a high mockery of his voice.

He flushed.

He had been terrified of the monster when they first met. He gave any excuse to leave the beast as soon as he could, including that the rules specified that spending unnecessary time with it was prohibited. That was true, but no one would have known if he chose to linger. In hindsight, it had been terribly obvious how afraid he was and he's only embarrassed that the monster pretended to believe him.

"You're the worst."

"And you still want to spend time with me?"

Tommy blew a raspberry at the darkness, earning a few laughs.

It was comfortably quiet for a few seconds before the monster spoke again. "Why are you curious about my old keepers?"

He tugged at his fingers. "Do you know how I ended up here?"

"You never talk about it."

He frowned. "And I never will," he responded coldly. It never gave up asking. "But do you know, generally, how someone ends up working this kind of job?"

The monster was quiet. "Yes."

Tommy didn't say anything for a minute. "The king is very angry with me. I don't want to see him again. However the other keepers escaped..." He shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. If the king requests an audience with me, it isn't for any good reason."

~

When the king acquired his monster, he hired out help to feed the thing and keep it under control. He made sure the beast ate lavishly, but now matter what they fed it, it never seemed like to satiate the creature. But it hadn't died of starvation and that was good enough. When its caretakers started to disappear, it wasn't difficult to guess what happened.

But acknowledging the problem would mean addressing it too, and the king simply didn't care. In the end, he realized he had the perfect way to quietly do away with those he needed gone. He sourced this job, with its one hundred percent rate of 'job abandonment' to political adversaries or people growing affluent enough to take his throne.

Which takes him to the present day, and a rather interesting problem.

When some servant boy had spilled a bottle of red wine down his front during a gala several years prior, the king had been so angry that he threw the child in a dungeon and left him there. When the monster's then-keeper inevitably disappeared, the king came to the boy and grimly informed him of his punishment.

He hadn't expected the child to last more than a couple of days. He'd even picked out his replacements.

But lo and behold, the boy remained present at his job post for a week. And then that week became several, and those several became months, and those months became a year and a half.

The king couldn't understand why it hadn't eaten him yet. He was fifteen at this point, certainly the youngest to feed the monster. Was it waiting for him to grow up? Did it want to watch him sprout up before it made its attack? It was perfectly sentient, and the king knew this even though he denied it upfront. Shouldn't the monster trust that the sooner it finished its current keeper, the sooner he would be replaced by another?

Had there been someone who had managed to bring this creature to subservience? If so, then the king took special interest.

And if not, then it was long overdue that the servant boy be put to death.

~

Being a human's lapdog wasn't a dignified experience, but it was a fed one. Driders were megafauna, making it hard to get enough food. It certainly didn't help that the human kingdom believed everything was its rightful property and saw driders as a threat to them owning more than they could eat.

Wilbur certainly didn't enjoy his life, and he was almost always hungry anyway, but at least he was alive.

He lived in a dungeon below the castle, but he wasn't sure what a castle was and he barely understood the concept of a dungeon. He hadn't seen the sunshine in years, and his keeper was his only company.

He liked his keeper. The boy was kind. He didn't threaten to pee in Wilbur's food or throw rocks at him. He asked him how his day was, and even made it a point to handle the meat carefully as he transported it into the cart. He seemed lonely, and made up excuses to stay. He was a cute little thing, and Wilbur wanted to stick him into his brooding pouch and keep him there.

~

The cart rolled into Wilbur's enclosure, and he greedily snatched it up and began to eat.

His keeper sat at a table in the light.

Wilbur finished his food in a few seconds and toyed with the cart. He always made it seem as if it took him longer to eat than it did.

"Do you have a family?"

The boy froze at the question. "Why do you ask?"

Wilbur pouted even though he knew he couldn't be seen. "We've known each for so long. I don't even know what your name is. Can't I know just a little?"

His keeper awkwardly laughed, fidgeting with his fingers. "Oh... I guess you're right."

Wilbur's heart leapt.

"I don't have a family."

"Oh." Shit.

"Yeah."

What was he supposed to say?

"I don't have a family either."

His keeper peered into the darkness. "What are you?"

Wilbur smiled. He skittered to the bars of his cage and leaned against them, towering over the boy, though he had no idea. "Would you like to play twenty questions?"

"You're so lame, seriously, what are you? I don't even know what you look like."

I could show you, he wanted to say.

Coming out of his cage was easy. The king assumed it could hold him but no one actually checked. And aside from his keeper, no one had been in his dungeon for years. In reality, the bars had long been bent open and Wilbur could get out whenever he pleased.

It wouldn't be difficult to come through the bars and present himself to his keeper. Pick the little figure up in his hands and take him into his cage with him.

When he'd eaten his previous keepers, they'd always been replaced. If he captured his current keeper and stored him away in his brooding pouch, then he'd never be lonely again.

It was tempting.

"That's probably for the best," he said. He stepped away from the bars of his cage and curled up on the floor.

He liked his keeper. He wanted him to be happy. Just because Wilbur was stuck in a cage didn't mean he had to be as well.

"Do you think I'd be scared of you?"

Wilbur looked down at himself, at his large stature and eight legs. His fangs came down to his mid chin. "I think you'd be terrified, dear."

His keeper smiled. "I don't think so. I have a suspicion that you're just harmless."

His heart melted. Oh stars, he wanted to eat this kid.

He massaged his aching brood pouch. "You're sweet, Sunshine."

~

The cart was left in his cage while he was sleeping. He woke up confused, spying it in the corner of his enclosure and wondered why he'd been fed overnight. Where was his keeper? His mind jumped to the worst conclusions.

He found him inside the cart. Bound and gagged and looking terrified beyond all reason.

"Oh, Sunshine," he murmured.

His words had the opposite intended effect, his keeper starting to panic and writhe at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, hey... Calm down, okay? I'll get you out of there." He reached into the cart and picked him up in his hand.

Despite the circumstance, his heart soared. This was the closest they'd ever been.

The figure was tiny in his palm, and still struggling.

Wilbur quickly undid his bounds, being mindful of his sharp claws against the human's body. As soon as his hands were free, he was clawing at the gag around his mouth.

"Don't eat me! Please, do not eat me..."

Wilbur's stomach dropped.

"What? Sunshine, why would I eat you?"

The boy continued to sob.

Wilbur cupped him to his chest and headed towards the bars of his enclosure. He expertly clambered through and came out the other side, his skin exposed to the light for the first time in more than a year.

"Dear? Can you talk to me?" He stroked his head with his thumb and brought him eye level. "Why were you in my feeding cart?"

His keeper stared at him in shock, and it was then that he remembered his keeper had never truly seen him before.

A hot wave of embarassment and self consciousness overtook him.

He awkwardly set his little human on his table and receded back into his enclosure.

"Sunshine?" He prompted once back in his cage. "Are you..."

"Could - could you get out the whole time?"

Wilbur's mouth went dry. "I - well, yes, I could but - "

His keeper stumbled off the table and hit the ground with a nasty sounding crack.

Wilbur sprang to his claws and scrambled forward. He popped his head out between the bars and stared down at his little keeper. "Are you okay?"

The human stared up at him with terror on his face and scrambled backwards, running for the door.

"Shit, shit, wait, I'm sorry! Please stay, please, Sunshine - "

The door slammed behind him with a resounding crack and Wilbur flinched backwards.

~ ~ ~ 🕸

i used to love drider aus back in 2020 🕷️🕷️🕷️

just a freaky little guy whose half dude and half Fear. potential off the charts.

my tag list got lost when my computer was annihilated (</3) but let me know in replies if you want to get @'d and i'll make a new one

oh yeah link to the writing prompt and story i did fill out

[omaano]

Hi !!!! How are you lately ?

So, after my binge reading/reblogging of your hades au posts I went and found a lp of the game because you just made it sounds so great and made me want to understand better your au 😁 I didn't finished watching yet but one thing is sure : it's absolutely amazing thank you SO MUCH for making me discover it *-*

Now, I've reread your post regarding who's who etc in your au and I must say all of this is even more galactic brain than I already thought at first !!! Sabine/Ezra and Orpheus/Euridice is just genius (Ezra and Euridice are nearly one and the same really xD he would even look absolutely awesome with her tattoos and her clothes) and just all of your ideas match so well with the characters !!! I adore the Armorer as Hades and Satine as Nyx too !! And Cobb very much has Aphrodite's vibes xD I just really love all of the matches *-*

There's just Rex that I'm not sure to who he's corresponding ? Especially since there's two versions of him x'D I understood he was Skelly but I'm not sure (and very random but I had half the thought that IG 11 would be very fun in that role even if he's not in your plans xD) 😅

Also, do you have an Hydra equivalent ? Just curious really ^^ (maybe boba's sarlack pit ?/not serious once again xD)

I don't have a lot of constructive thoughts outside of my excited babbling but I guess that the obols are just credits. And I thought that it could be fun if the nectar was tiingilar, especially since, like every stew, it's a meal made for sharing (in my humble opinion at least). Also I'm not saying that to ask you to draw it, to be clear. Everything you've done and are doing is already insane and amazing, if you tried to convert every details of the game in your au, I think it would just consume you right then and there x'D <3

Anyway that was just my love letter for your au, the proclamation of my utmost admiration to your art and how amazingly you rendered star wars in Hades fashion (even if it's very far from an easy task) and my sincere thanks for making me discover this beautiful and amazing game !!

Hi! ❤️

I've been a little worse than I'd previously thought (who isn't nowadays) but that doesn't matter, what's important is that I'm so HAPPY I could introduce you to Hades and what an amazing game it is!! I'm not that much into games myself, but I could really not recommend enough to try and play it if you can! It's great to watch other people play it (I'd spent weeks watching my partner play when it first came out), but it's also another experience to be the one pressing the buttons for all the interactions ^^ (Hades has also kept me company through some dark times, so I'm extra biased... but then again, it feels so good, even for someone whose general type of gameplay heavily relies on key smashing xD)

I'm so glad you could come back to my "masterpost" on who is who and agree with my take on the characters! I didn't initially set out to make everyone fit in so neatly, so it was a surprise when I could find such nice matches :D

And I'll have to look into slipping a bit more Eurydice into Ezra when the time comes to explore a design for him (I'm still so head empty with that one, so I'm grasping at any ideas and suggestions rn Q^Q)

Rex is one of the most handwave-y characters in this AU, I'm not gonna lie, he's from the time when I hadn't yet put all that much thought into the full line up, and I just really wanted to make two versions of him because I just watched Rebels, fell in love with his stupid beard and didn't have the heart to pick between his two looks XD I tried to give some reasoning for why he is in Skelly's spot in his own post but it was basically two-fold: 1) I wanted to keep him close to Cody (they are a package deal, I refuse to seperate them) and 2) when I opened up the game to take some screenshots for backgrounds, my latest save was right as Zagreus returns to Skelly, and he called him "Captain" and Rex IS THE Captain for me so. Really, the decision was made for me. Why are there two versions of Rex? Don't think too hard about it XD*

(* there is a super handwavy explanation behind it, that would also answer why Omega looks 13 at best, while Boba has just crawled out of the Sarlacc pit and on to Jabba's throne. Some sith/jedi artifact and possibly Palpatine related time fuckery that would mesh really well with Hades2's main villain being Chronos, so I kept telling myself that I don't need an actual explanation aside from "we self-indulge here" but uh... it keeps itching at my brain wheneven I dare to entertain the idea that I might ever reach the end of this art project... and maybe I could glance in the direction of Hades2. Just a teeny tiny bit ^^;)

Also if you take a good look at it IG-11 is actually present in the sparring area next to Rex. I don't know if you've seen it in the lp, but you can unlock Skelly statues there (which I don't remember if they do anything, since I'm stuck with my heat levels around the time where I could unlock the second statue, and it's been ages since the first one was revealed ^^;) and the first one here is IG-11!

I'm not planning to draw it (because I hate fighting Lernie, and I hate everything Asphodel lol) but the hydra was cast as the Krayt Dragon Din fought with Cobb. I thought I was very clever when I came up with that XD

I'm very intrigued by the idea of tiingilar for nectar (I bet they both tingle hehe), especially for that communal aspect of it you mentioned 👀 It's definitely more interesting than me just recolouring it blue and calling it blue milk or whatever because I coudln't come up with anything better on my own XD (Especially if you consider that you can sometimes get more nectar bottles from wht Wretched Broker in their corner in the cantina section of the map!) I got so far as credits and... whatever that fruit is instead of pomegranate. I suddenly forgot all names of every fruit or foodstuff that exists in Star Wars help TT^TT

But also please don't feel like you'd need to come up with any kind of "constructive thoughts" I'm just always very happy to share this AU with you, and I'm over the moon when anyone shows interest in it!

Thank you so much for this lovely love letter, friend! ❤️❤️❤️ and please keep enjoying Hades, and I really mean that if you're able you should give it a try to play not just watch ;) It's great fun, and it's sooo very pretty!

[drdemonprince]

autistic anon here again, thanks for fielding my question, you're a real one for not all toxic positivity on it. i guess i should've formulated things better, because i didn't mean to imply being completely wrapped up in decision paralysis to the point of doing nothing. that's a mental hurdle i've cleared a long time ago, so shit gets done. i have a few emails sitting in my inbox of fundraisers i helped with that closed out, and it;s making me emotional just thinking about it.

there's a weird disconnect between knowing that you're just one person (and that's something i actually like, i'm no-one special, that's a very freeing thought), and fully feeling it. because somewhere there's always a nagging worry i could do more. as true as it is, reminding yourself you're doing what you can feels like a convenient self-soothing lie when you're in the pit of a bad night. probably the calvinist whispering poisons in your ear. (being afraid of falling in the trap of slacktivism or just reposting everything as a signal boost and patting myself on the back for a job well done, amongst them. which is BS, but knowing isn't believing.)

i mentioned the autistic part for a reason, because community is something i've never quite experienced and only understand in the abstract. like those fundraisers i helped with many, many other people, that's a community effort and i'm proud i could contribute my little bit. translating that to in-person efforts has been a big ??? though. it's not very parseable or approachable to me.

i hadn't quite grokked this as all being part of shame, i have your book sitting here and have read it a while, probably should reread it.

Hey, thanks for writing back! I hear from people of all levels of engagement, from having never done anything to like dedicated black bloc hard core mother fuckers so it's hard to gauge from a single message what someone's particular situation is.

It sounds like you are already doing a ton, choosing actions to take, following through on them, reflecting on the impact of your tactics, and then regrouping to do more and to try things differently where you can. Yet you still feel like shit sometimes and as if you're not doing enough. What to do about those feelings?

Well. Consider those feelings aren't a problem you have to fix. They're just a thing that will happen. Because of cultural conditioning and endless exposure to alarming messages and imagery online they're just gonna come up. Those feelings can just exist while you keep doing the damn thing.

You've already got your behavior on lock. You're doing what you can and not succumbing to choice paralysis. You're hopefully not burning yourself out. It doesn't sound like anything needs to change, maybe other than you not consuming too much online bullshit that's making you feel even more guilty needlessly.

You say: "there's a weird disconnect between knowing that you're just one person (and that's something i actually like, i'm no-one special, that's a very freeing thought), and fully feeling it."

Yeah, you might not ever fully feel it. As long as you keep acting like it's true, you're good imo.

i feel like the most evil selfish unlovable human being alive most days. it doesn't really matter that i do. it sucks, but that's just a fact of how my life has been. i can keep picking myself up and doing what i have decided is right for me to do anyway. i do what i can to avoid triggers that make that feeling worse, so that it doesn't become a barrier to action, but otherwise i just... keep on living, with terrible emotions and terrible thoughts. and i focus on my actions.

As for the community piece, I hear you, it's really fucking hard. I think it's very humbling work that is so worth doing though. Often it involves showing up to the work that a group is doing and living with the fact that you won't know what the fuck is going on and looking inept for a while. it's a necessary distress tolerance building exercise, getting more comfortable with just being there and rearranging the chairs and setting up the food and feeling like a dumbass who has nothing to contribute.

being able to sit with those feelings and keep showing up and not having an ego about it is enough to earn a lot of trust and foster deeper connections, I find. so many people fail to be able to even do that in most organizing/activist/volunteering spaces. I understand it feels mortifying but it is another one of those situations of getting over oneself in a way that's ultimately so freeing and beautiful. when you can accept that people want you around even if you never have anything to say and do nothing but bring paper cups and take out the trash. it's a real object lesson in how not being all that important can be a wonderful thing and make it possible for us to find love and acceptance.

[solomons-poison]

I originally posted this in discord and can't be bother to edit or spruce this up too much, just added some more thoughts. Little office!AU with Silvio and MC feat. a one night stand

Thinking about Silvio and rereading some early pre-relationship stories with him, and driving myself crazy with how insane his chemistry is with MC. I know Silvio's alcohol tolerance is high, but I think his apparent softness for MC combined with alcohol lowering inhibitions would mean him more likely to act on things he wouldn't do sober. (Much like him in the To Catch a Bunny Rabbit epilogue).

Thinking of an office!AU where you and Silvio are always at odds, constant arguing with each other and having different ideas on how a project should go. This arrogant CEO's son, always inserting himself into the business, getting in the way of your work and mocking you, always making a commotion with his loud voice and jangly, flashy accessories. It's no secret amongst your coworkers that he drives you insane, and that he seems to have it out for you too.

Eventually, you get used to hearing the insults, resigned to the fact he's just a rude asshole. But after he steps up and protects you from a creep in the company, you realize maybe he doesn't actually hate you, even if he still actively gets on your nerves. (And no you won't admit you miss it when he doesn't insult you for a day, are you crazy?). From there, the insults are just your way of communicating, more than anything. It's a new norm.

One day, you're both having too many drinks at a company party. Silvio's in a good mood so he's really drinking it down, and you can't seem to care about holding back either. Silvio doesn't normally get drunk, but something seems to be in the atmosphere, because he's feeling it more than usual. Somehow it's just the two of you left alone afterwards, one thing leads to another, and before you know it, you've slept together. You both try desperately to pretend nothing happened, afterwards, but suddenly his insults don't have the same bite...

And yes, as if Silvio wasn't already in love long before this point, he's fallen off the deep end now. He starts trying to give you things as some horrible attempt at courting, but he's so fucking awkward at it and the situation is so ass-backwards and he never uses his words, so you can only assume it's bribery for your silence about what happened. A rare perfume here, an expensive watch there, a silk wrap from an exclusive designer or an exorbitantly priced ballpoint pen, you just keep finding little gifts on your desk that couldn't possibly be from anyone else.

You ask him to stop getting you all these expensive items, how you never planned to tell anyone what happened (not to mention the total power imbalance, how you'd be treated sleeping with the CEO's son vs him for sleeping with someone else). Silvio's gobsmacked, thinking he's been romantically rejected, but you two aren't in the same book, let alone same page.

It's embarrassing how long you two are stuck in the middle of this strange misunderstanding. Everyone notices how different Silvio is, now, comparatively more quiet and less bitey than before. Sometimes he even praises you after a successful project, which really throws everyone for a loop. It's not until someone drops a comment that Silvio is acting like he's whipped for you, that it suddenly all clicks.

Of course, he's shocked and a little offended you didn't understand his clear attempts at flirting with you. What else would all the expensive gifts mean?? What do you mean he should have used his words, wasn't that enough??? But he supposes he'll forgive you, now that you understand. And you suppose you can forgive his haughty attitude in exchange when you finally get his sweet, sweet kisses and his awkward but soft touches of love.

[slothquisitor]

2024 Fic Wrapped

Thank you to @eraserspiral for the tag! This was fun!

What’s been your biggest learning point this past year?

Mostly that I can still write a lot of words if I'm doing it consistently? I was in such a writing slump before BG3. I've been pursuing traditional publication and had some cool wins but not quite...getting there? And then that on top of some personal life shit kind of broke me. It's been fun to get back to writing and let it be fun again and not something I *have* to do.

How has your writing developed this past year?

I think I've tried out some fun and cool things this year. I wrote HORROR! I wrote an homage to Emily Henry. It was fun to push myself into really different directions, and I think it's made me better or at least I hope so. That's the thing about writing! It's so subjective and difficult to really pinpoint the places where you may or may not be leveling up. But I feel like I grew this year, so I'll take it.

Good writing habits?

Writing every day. Even if I'm traveling or even if it's only for five minutes on my phone before bed, I try to do a little bit. It helps me feel connected to whatever I'm working on, but also I'm the type of person who really struggles with feeling productive without clear goal posts. So, being able to look at actual words on a page helps me feel I've done something, you know? Also just generally reading widely. I think being a good writer is about being a good reader too!

Bad writing habits?

Impatience. I have the same issue with my art. My best pieces are always the ones I didn't rush. I have this like...desire to push things out into the world so that they don't clutter up my head anymore, and sometimes I think that means I'm publishing before things are strictly ready. My goal in 2025 is to do this less. But also, sometimes I'm excited!

Favorite thing you wrote?

Probably What Moves in the Dark though Invisible String is a close second. I loved the overall story of What Moves in the Dark, and I think it's technically plotted better than Invisible String where I was just like...coasting on vibes.

Favorite reads?

She's not on here, but TheWyvernRising is my writing partner, and honestly, her work is severely underrated. She's got a great Ghost AU featuring Halsin and her oc Rowan, plus our OCs are besties in every universe. What else is fanfic for?

Biggest win?

Finishing not one but two longfics in a year! Also, the response to Invisible String genuinely surprises and delights me. Someone called me diabolical, and I've never been more pleased with myself.

Goals for the new year?

Just keep writing things that make me happy. I'd like to maybe return to the original work, but I'm also just like...not pressed about it? I'm having fun and I think that maybe that's enough for right now.

Your favorite words of the year, aka the words you check each chapter for, making sure you didn’t repeat them 788 times?

Oh god. I overuse a lot of words or phrases and I know it! It just sometimes is hard to notice until I like...reread after posting and I'm like...whoa Sloth...did you use 'gaze' and 'smile' enough? lol

What are you excited for in the new year?

To not have a fic that's posting on a weekly basis so I can return to my chaos gremlin ways. I've been posting a fic update every weekend since Febraury (with a few exceptions), and don't get me wrong...when I'm working on a longfic I need that structure. However, it's nice to get a break from that. I'll probably let myself get too chaotic in a month or two and return to some sort of schedule, but for now, it's nice. I'm excited to keep working on Veilguard stuff too. I don't have any fic plans beyond that right now, but I'm sure the plot bunnies will find me. They always do.

I've been either skiing or painting my house, and I've been very not here. So I'm not sure who has done this....so if you see this and want to participate, consider yourself tagged! <3

[dcggersedge]

“ Good day, Yunaka, ”  Pelleas visits her.  “ I, um, heard that you transferred houses. To the Black Eagles, if I recall? I know I didn't put my best foot forward while you were in my house, but I do genuinely wish the best for you in your new affiliation. Two very important people to me will be in your care; you can probably guess one of them. Besides that, I wished to gift you something for the Winter Festival, though I suppose we can call it a house-changing present too given the timing. If you'd take it? ”

With that, he offers a wrapped present box to her. Within is a journal filled with writing of his own penmanship— for better or for worse.

“ You gave me a book about your Emblems, so I thought to give you in exchange a tome about my homeland. Of course, I couldn't really get anything official in such a short notice, so please forgive the fact I had to write it all myself. As someone who grew up in it and became its King for a time though, I hope you'll find the information trustworthy if not... well, erm, useful at least? ”

And indeed, the handwritten book contains all sorts of details about Daein from both the perspective of a poor, starving orphan who had nothing to a crown royal who had everything at a price. It details it from his point of view, all the sights and towns he's seen, the weather he's experienced, sprawling descriptions of the unique architecture and what made the place, for all the misery he had lived through within it, a place he loved dearly nevertheless.

“ I hope you find it interesting as well. I still find myself quite engrossed in reading and rereading your gift to me. If I could give you even a fraction of my fascination, I'll count this a success. ”

"Oh, heya Pelly!" Dang...she'd figured out that seeing Pelleas in class was a rare enough sight already. Seeing him make the effort to not only be out and about, but actually hunting her down to see her? She was pretty sure that was some kind of special. She was also pretty sure, based on no personal experience of her own obviously, that commenting on it would send him right back to hiding.

"You heard correctly!" She hoped he wasn't feeling some kind of way about it. Laslow had been joking, but now she was kinda worried that some of the Lions might think she'd bailed or abandoned them or something silly like that. "Thought it'd be fun to go into the new year with some fresh changes...and there's some things that I'm curious about that I'm hoping to get a closer eye on."

Nothing he needed to worry about, obviously.

"Oh? Two?" She knew that Micaiah was one of the Eagles, but she had no clue who that second important person could be.

The time for questioning would come...but not now. Now was the time for gift giving, apparently. "Aw, Pelly! You didn't have to get me a gift, that's so sweet."

A book isn't a surprise after her gift, but a journal is. She flips through a few of the pages without reading anything just yet. It'd be weird if she started reading something personal or embarrassing in front of him, right? Luckily, he clears up what it's really about.

Yunaka flashes him a smile. "Thanks! That does sound interesting, and I'm sure I'll love it. I appreciate you taking the time to do something like this when you didn't have to. I'll be sure to give it a read as soon as I get a chance."

She's always liked history books. There's no complicated emotions or wishing or happy endings in history. It's just fact, presented as so, with no fluff or feelings. She's never read someone's personal history before though.

"I don't have a festival gift to give back, but I do hope you have a good one." The smile turns exaggerated here, in an obviously playful way, and she waves towards him with the book. "And at least try to go to class next year, alright? I can't make you anymore, but you really should at least try to take advantage of what you've got here."

...wait. Did he say king?

[fraternum-momentum]

killing stalking ramble belowww

!! tws for mentions of sa/rape, murder, abuse, etc. !!

(REALLY REALLY long, around 2k~ words. just be warned. also tmi in some parts.)

THIS IS NOT AN ANALYSIS !!!!! it def gets analytical in some parts, but i feel like i would need to reread ks a couple of times for me to feel confident enough to do a full blown analysis for it. these are just my thoughts that i want to get out of my head. really rambly for the most part, and separated into sections mostly for my convenience buy also to get my thoughts a little more organized.

what do i think about it?

it's great ! i really love the more thriller-ey aspects of it, esp when seungbae was investigating the whole thing. how he's trying to piece together everything and switching in between pov's was so so cool. love love love how extremely tense everything is, like ooo is he gonna get caught? is he gonna get killed?

ACAB but seungbae is the only police officer i'll salute to 🫡 (bc he's not real LMFAO)(and also he hates the police despite being one so)

season 1 is a great intro and it rlly gets u hooked, rlly went in super hard with the whole torture stuff. came in guns blazing n stuff. rlly rlly intense. the whole thing with jieun is just so sad man,,,,,,, like she was rude and all and she was an kind of an asshole to bum but i don't think she deserves to die over that 😭,,,,

there's also already a lot of foreshadowing and future callbacks planted into it. it makes me wonder how much planning went into the story :0 !! even early on it's pretty clear that sangwoo sees his mum in yoonbum, that's why he kept taking care of him after abusing him. he said ‘i love you’ out of the blue and bum thought he was talking to him and sangwoo replied ‘i was talking to my mom’. i mean, it's literally spelled out by the author in one of the qna's. i will be amazed if u didn't catch that somehow.

anyw season 2 is my fav because of reasons stated above. the tension is rlly great. when seungbae finally trespassed which led to the confrontation at the basement scene to when they were doing the interrogation was rlly rlly good. it shows how competent of a manipulator and a quick thinker sangwoo is. throughout it my heart was beating so fast i was so nervous JQHSHQ

seungbae rlly tried to pull through but unfortunately the people didn't believe him so woo and bum got away SCOT FREE,,,,,,, which caused seungbae to lash out on woo, then got laid off. DUDEEE i was so saddddddd, i mean i saw there were like 40 eps left so i knew he wasnt going to succeed but STILLLL i was cheering for him ykkk?

ep 34.

kinda tmi and i hope to fucking god it's not weird or anything but i can see myself in yoonbum.

LISTEN ok. not like the perverted stalker aspects. more of the whole jwhhr fuckk idk how to describe it without sounding pathetic or whatever but a while ago my brother and i had a talk about being careful with people bc of how bad my whole self esteem is and how easily i would be to manipulate and just how depressing my whole demeanor was or whatever and this scene in ep 34 where yoonbum was being interrogated by seungbae kind of left me a deep impression on me

i've def have asked myself something similar to this, idk maybe had talked to someone abt it when i was drunk as shit. but it i kind of started wondering if i would do that in his position. if i don't get any better, could i end up like him? eeeeeqjdb idkk its something i don't want to dwell on much but it's been at the back of my head ever since. i don't know. it's scary.

season 3 is more focused on characterization and developing the "relationship" between bum and woo. vv sangwoo centric. it deals with his past trauma and how it affected him. seeing how his childhood was initially and then the eventual reveal as to what really was happening in those scenes was so good. kind of shows how you never truly know what's happening behind closed doors. and it shows the extent of the abuse, how unstable his mother was, and how emotionally manipulative she was to sangwoo when he was a kid. then her eventual death in which she managed to gaslight him into thinking he killed her. at least, i think its implied that she drove the knife into her neck. and now, even when she's gone, her presence lingers and haunts him. quite literally too because its eventually revealed that her corpse was INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

i love how the dynamic turned from a dependency to a codependency. it's like watching a fire slowly spiral out and it becoming an huge shitstorm. it's interesting seeing that sangwoo needs bum too. right after he accidentally called bum 'mom' while they were having sex, that's probably the lowest he's been in, even begging yoonbum to not go and stay with him at home bc he's been so paranoid lately. even now i'm still not sure if bum was actually fucking the girl or if it was all a figment of woo's hallucinations.

there's a lot of particular scenes that i want to dedicate a small paragraph to but i don't want to make this longer that it alr is qkdh they're not anything life changing plus the implications are p clear anyway so,,

ending is insane. at first, i was kind of glad that bum seemed to be healing. like he was getting therapy, there was a person who was taking care of him, seungbae seems to be monitoring him regularly. i mean, he was still paranoid and stuff about being caught as an acomplice but he was fine for the most part. well, at least that was i thought until he started asking where sangwoo was and i kinda went oh no,,,

idkkkkk is it bad that i kind of felt bad for bum when he didn't get to see sangwoo for the last time? i mean, i want him to just move on with everything and heal but it was pretty clear he was still vv attached to woo so idkkkkk?? maybe its just me needing to have some closure or something? i was so sad that yoonbum didn't even get the chance to be truly happy in his life. even in his happiest moments with sangwoo, it was all just a skewed perception of love.

yk even if seungbae didn't go to woo's house one last time for that final confrontation, i feel like their codependent relationship would go to shit either way. but ahh,,,,,, bum deserved so much better,,,

seungbae my goat 🫡

small part abt him bc he's my fav

seungbae is interesting,,,, bc he def has violent tendencies much like sangwoo. i.e. lashing out at woo, wacking a guy out with a scanner (who, luckily, turned out to be a wanted criminal), hitting the guy who killed his father with a the golf club, dreaming and fantasizing about violently killing that said murderer multiple times, and probably more that i can't remember.. maybe a ‘two sides of the same coin’ kind of situation??? idkk

there's literally a part where seungbae said so himself that he and sangwoo were similar, immediately following it by saying that it was a dangerous thought. i think having a stable figure in his life (chief officer) helped him a lot. if he didn't have him, i feel like he could've easily ended up like sangwoo. all around green flag tho :3

my complicated feelings abt it:

idkkkkkkkkkkkkk like this is a thriller and it depicts a clearly abusive relationship but the fact that it feels so fanservicey to me feels so wrong to me ???????? like shit. i only started reading it bc i thought 'oh wasn't this bl or something? i don't remember lol. but sangwoo was hot, i should go read it' and proceeded to get my ass blasted with this is absolutely insane.

ok i'm gonna be completely honest i've always hated fanservice, so it's a completely biased take from me. like idkk it ruins the vibe of a scene. can't a good show just be a good show without all the panty shots and the weird ass angles?????? like okay, yeah, i literally draw porn but that doesnt mean i want porn/sexual in everything all the time.

like i get it. the sexual aspect of this is a necessary and integral thing. it's clearly there to depict that there's an imbalance of power. how sangwoo being on top feels more in control whereas when he's in a position of submission he gets angry or scared (a trauma response) and it's another aspect of abuse that a lot of characters experienced and it's all shown. but i think my issue is, when its with woo and bum there's like certain part to it where i'm just kinda like,,,,, you know that feeling when you feel like a sex scene in a movie is kind of going on for way too long? and ur just sitting there mildly uncomfortable by it and aughggyvh idkkk its weird,,,,,,, like should i keep watching or is this integral to the story???? am i going to miss any details or something anyone would say ?? and idk???????? like when bum or woo was sa'ed by adults they didn't depict it in such a,,,,,,, romantic?? light???? i'm not sure what to say but i feel like there's a difference in ambience and pacing and shit in a bunch of the scenes esp in season 3 but i guess it's bc they're in a 'relationship' ?????? idkk

in a way i can understand why they would present it like that ??? i'm probably reaching, but maybe it's to directly put the viewer in yoonbum's shoes and kind of see how sangwoo manipulates bum? like we as the viewer become victims ourselves of sangwoo's charms ????? maybe that's why it was psrticularly uncomfortable for me ??????????? dude idk,,,,

but like,, i've played btd/tpof before but i don't seem to have any problems with it, and that's literally torture porn or whatever but for some reason i draw the line at this apparently ????????

and i’ve thought about this really hard bc it was driving me nuts as to what the difference was. but maybe its bc it's kind of romanticizing it ??????????????? tbh i'm still not entirely sure. eh whatever i don't want to make it a big problem.

oh but fray, you draw noncon, dubcon, and gore ! arent you fetishizing it as well ? how is that any different ?

(this part is kind of tmi too) i think there's a fundamental difference between what i'm doing and having a cnc kink and depicting actual sa in a story.

no one is saying sa is not bad. for some people it's how they deal with the trauma they endured and for others its simply just a fantasy. cnc, in a real life setting, both parties are consenting and recognize that it's all just roleplay, if anything is out of the line you can opt out of it with a safeword and it's CRUCIAL that this safe word is respected. in a game like for example, dol, you can manipulate it into however you like. there's also cheats where you can just remove encounters altogether irrc. you're the one in control of the narrative.

i've had rape fantasies before (i play dol, don't be so surprised) but that doesn't mean i want to be fucking assaulted when i go out at night. and idk maybe like in ks it depicts all the gruesome and tragic parts of being abused, whether it be emotionally, sexually, physically, etc. and that's why it feels wrong framing it in that manner ????

idk my views about it aren't completely black and white. dude idfk i'm not an expert in anything. at the end of the day i'm just some random person who read killing stalking and just has some thoughts about it. anyw that's all 👍

[66sharkteeth]

I've been rereading City of Blank before it gets censored, and I just wanted to say I love it just as much as I did when I first started reading 3 years ago, if not more so now that I can see plot elements being set up and foreshadowing, etc. It made me sad to see you on twitter/X talking about how S1 isn't good. I can understand being hard on your own work, I'm like that, but why S1 in particular? I really like it! I could make notes as I go through listing out each and every thing I love in every chapter and I'd be doing it for ages. I've read a ton of web comics before and after finding CoB and yet it remains my favorite even still, including S1. Ignore my question if you want, I don't wanna bother you, but please at least accept the compliments because you deserve it and more, thank you for sharing your story 💜

Hmm, to be clear, it's not like I think season 1 is a steaming pile of crap or anything... I just think it's...nothing special and not particularly good.

I think it's biggest issue is it's pacing. S1 feels like...2 or 3 episodes, all stretched out into 25 episodes. A big part of this is because I was told they wanted s1 to end on Jericho's reveal, and back then, they didn't want first-time creators like myself committing to 50+ ep seasons they weren't sure they could keep up with. And honestly, not a ton happened between the first ep and Jericho's reveal. In hind sight, there was a lot more I could have done. I could have had Rex bond with Des and Lyss more, and just...given Lyss more screen time in general. I know so many people dropped the series because Lyss is introduced and when boy meets girl in media, they assume there's gonna be SOME romance there...but then Lyss just kinda fucks off and is asleep for literally 2/3rds of s1, losing that entire audience. Even if...Lyss didn't end up being the love interest, I wish I kept her around more to at least give people the false hope that she would be so I could have just maintained that huge part of WT's audience LMAO.

But instead, half of s1 was spent on that night on the town with Rex and Des and fighting Claude. These are things that crossed my mind when writing it but... I don't know how else to put it other than back then I just had the mindset of "eh, good enough." And on that note, I think the story just wasn't nearly as personal to me back then. I remember literally telling people like "It's nothing deep. The blanks don't represent anything. Sometimes people just wanna tell a fun story." Which...to be clear, 100% valid to people who wanna tell stories like that! But uh... by the end of s2, that stopped being the case. And this story became very personal to me. It became really impossible for blanks and their struggles to not represent things deeply personal to me. Around end of s2 is when this story started to be a lot more than "just a fun story w/ no deeper meaning" and when I really really started to pour my heart into it, and I LIKE to think it shows, because s3 is hands down where I'm most confident in my writing, compared to s1, when it was just trying to be a safe shonen adventure.

Lastly, going back to s1, I guess I kind of underestimated just how much this would end up meaning to me, and how having a weak-ish s1 would impact me 3 years later in s4. Back then I wasn't thinking about how the audience I get back in s1 is only gonna be a fraction of the audience you maintain in s4. I didn't realize there would be literal discussions on Reddit of comics people dropped and CoB being one of them bc of a lackluster s1. I wasn't thinking about how I would eventually be showing this to agents and publishers and that they might not look past it beyond s1 as just very average, mid content.

I was really just kinda in the mindset of "This is just Canvas 2, and if people like it, they like it!!" I wasn't thinking about how not putting 100% into s1 was going to potentially cost me thousands of readers, dollars, and even potential opportunities.

So TLDR, I don't think s1 is the worst thing ever, but a lack of heart, ambition, certain conditions, and just experience made it very lackluster in my opinion. I wish I could put a huge disclaimer on the series "IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE"

[spectralsleuth]

Saw you were lookin’ for some asks dont mind if I do 👀

To start off, I’m such a big fan of your writing! I genuinely look forward to every single update of yours and find myself rereading a lot of work in the downtime. You are such a good writer!! My never ending praises aside, here are some asks!

-You incorporate OC’s into your fics so seamlessly! They feel so natural in your fics that I legit get excited anytime they show up (srsly can’t wait for Lou Jitsu vs Hidden City, Sal’s my boy) lol how do you find the right balance when introducing and maintaining OC’s in your fics? I feel like that’s a particularly difficult balance beam to tread but you absolutely crush it.

-A previous ask you answered about Cass and Raph in LSoW got me thinking; how do the brothers handle humans crushing on them? Would they be receptive or dismissive? Do they develop crushes on humans- and if so, how is that perceived (by family or the general public)? The drama 👀

Last ask, I promise:

-I absolutely loved your crossover with Empathy is Learned! Got anymore crossovers planned in the future? Oooor if you could do a crossover with any other fic, which one(s) would it/they be??

Thanks for taking the time to even look at this! I hope these are some fun asks for ya :) I hope you have a lovely day!!

Omg thanks so much... I'm so happy people enjoy my writing it's crazy to me. I've written before, but it's always been just for myself so I never really know if it was good or not. (Years of text based DnD is to thank lol.) (Okay I got carried away answering this so sorry in advance.)

On OC's:

I got a lot of comments on LSoW from people who say "generally I don't like OC's BUT-" which is so funny and flattering. Because I am absolutely one of those people who don't care for OC's in fic.

Let me be clear: I LOVE that people write self indulgent self-insert of OC based fic, where they make the craziest off the wall story etc. Every time a fifteen year old writes a story about the cringiest Mary-sue/stu self insert, or non canon character, an angel gets its wings and I mean that one hundred percent. It makes me so happy I literally grin when I see it. I HOWEVER generally filter out the OC tags on AO3 when I'm looking for something to read myself.

So when I started posting LSoW I was expecting to get maybe like, 100 kudos MAX, maybe one comment or so. Which is great! I love writing niche fic just for me, and one other person who I assume I must be drift compatible with. I just could not figure out a way to write the story I wanted without a few OC's- Rise didn't have a big enough character catalog for me to draw from!

When I went to write the OC's, I knew that they had to have a very simple backstory, that was also very fleshed out. (Xander and Sal have full family, Dr. Heo and Carter have full jobs and history together, etc.) For another contradiction I wanted them to be interesting enough that someone reading wouldn't just be skipping ahead to when they weren't present, or just simply plowing through to get past the part where they were doing exposition. They had to be enjoyable! While also forwarding the story!

They also had to be distinct. Anyone who's ever watched a Whedon show or movie (Buffy, Firefly, Avengers-) knows what I'm talking about. It drives me nuts when the characters in a show are constantly the funniest person in the room, with the same personality traits, and the same girl boss/badass tendencies.

(Fandom challenge Impossible: Give a female fan favorite character another trait besides 'girlboss/mom/lesbian'. I'm dead serious.)

(Also a disclaimer: I LOVE making jokes and doing bits. I FANCY that I'm pretty funny, and I love making people laugh. But you can do that without making it a character personality trait. For example: Xander doesn't really crack any jokes in LSoW! He's just funny because we the reader know more about the situation and his thoughts than he does.)

But the BIGGEST THING I kept telling myself while writing the story, was DO NOT TAKE AWAY FROM THE TURTLES. Because the whole point of the story is the turtles! And Yoshi! The OC's are there to facilitate that. It's a hard balance to hit. I have all sorts of touchstones I keep in mind while I'm writing, and that's a big one.

(A SUPER good example of this done super well is @faiakishi 's Bella from Dawning of the Hour. She's a great OC that's super interesting, and a super important narrative element, but she never detracts from the main story. Big Bella fan here lmao. There's also the rest of the OC's/interpretations of franchise characters (TIGERCLAW), but Bella stands out as truly original.)

On the Turtles dating Humans:

(CW: CSA mention, SA mention, non graphic talk of minors dating etc.)

I actually talked a lot about this to @/tangledinink in feverish discord chats lmao.

When the boys were growing up they got a very detailed talk from both Yoshi, and their Doctors. ONE: Because nobody will know better than themselves if something was medically wrong with their bodies, TWO: The boys are all intersex (minus Mikey) and they had to understand that there was nothing wrong with them on TOP of the turtle thing, and THREE: Because Yoshi knew the boys would be getting a lot of attention, and you never know what kind of attention that form will take.

THE BEST WAY to protect children (any child) from being sexually assaulted or abused, is making sure they know what that abuse LOOKS LIKE. You don't have to make them terrified of being sexually assaulted, but them knowing how their body works, and also how to say NO and set boundaries, will combine to help make them safer.

Yoshi didn't know what would happen in the future and in a perfect world the boys would never leave his line of sight, but that's not always how things happen. (In a Short Season, Xander parroted Yoshi's instructions before going out to make sure the boys knew what to do if someone grabbed them (in any way) and it was to bite and be loud.) So the boys grew up knowing their bodies, knowing how to say 'no', and knowing that there was probably going to be people out there who would treat them as a novelty, and who wouldn't be appropriate to them as celebrities OR non-humans.

(Remember Emma Watson having to deal with that countdown to her turning 18? Or any other amount of child stars who had to deal with adults being predatory to them.)

But ALSO THIS IS HAMATO YOSHI. His sons are HANDSOME and HEARTBREAKERS! Leo has dated a lot but never anything seriously, and his inability to be intimate with anyone but family kind of puts a damper on any more permanent relationship. (He is gay.) He's the number one turtle people ask out because he's the most approachable. Because he made himself that way!

Donnie is in a sort of relationship with Kendra. (THIS WILL BE A FIC I'm working up to it lmao.) I have a head canon that Yokai and other empyrean based creatures are capable of having rivalry based relationships. IE Yoshi and Draxum in the canon show, the unhealthy dynamic between Yoshi and Big Mama, etc. (Caliginous relationship) Donnie is in a puppy love version of that with Kendra, while also lacking the context of yokai society to understand why he wants to punch her very badly, but also if anything happened to her he would die. They hate each others guts and also she was his first kiss. She is not a nice person I am not a Kendra apologist she's terrible I love her. (Donnie is bi!)

I know a lot of people head canon Mikey as ace, but he is a thirteen year old child you don't have to be head canoning him as anything. it is the very rare 13 year old who knows their orientation, and even if they DO I bet you donuts to dollars it will change eventually. This is normal and healthy. Mikey in LSoW has had puppy crushes on boys, girls, teachers, Violet, the mailman, Adam, and Rupert Swaggert. (Eugh eugh eugh.)

Raph is absolutely irresistible to the entire student body and is completely unaware of it. He's not stupid but he's face blind and bad at picking up subtext in conversations. He's gone to multiple people's houses and spent the whole day with them, without realizing they were trying to make it a date. (Raph is bi.)

All the boys have considered identifying as girls since their Dad is the martial arts equivalent of David Bowie and Fine With That, but have settled (for now) on being boys (age 10 the last time they considered this) because quote 'Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim are boys and they're awesome' unquote.

They don't get any fucking privacy for their relationships, and Leo in particular had a very bad experience that closed him off from dating big time. (Stamps 'THIS WILL BE A FIC' on this as well.) But also, as of the LSoW canon they are like, 12-14 and not doing a lot of dating ANYWAY. They are BABIES.

(Enter Casey Jones)

ON CROSSOVERS:

I have one crossover with my white whale of authors (you know who you are) I have pecked at with them that I think everyone will go fucking nuts for and love, but I won't mention it in case we can't get it off the ground! (A completely okay and normal thing to happen lmao.) I think that one will end up happening though because I am too excited about it, even if it's not any time soon.

I am super open to crossovers and cowriting, especially since writing with Li because I learned SO MUCH it was like speed running improvement.

The thing is it has to fit! There's some crossovers that wouldn't have a lot of substance because there's not really a lot to cover. When it came to EiL for example, there was PLENTY to cover and do, it was so fun! But other fics might not have a lot we could do for each other. (At least, not until I get some more world building done.)

That being said I do love talking crossovers with other creators it's so fun...

If you guys ever want to use my OC's feel free, just ask me in advance! I don't mind pings.

THESE ASKS ARE FUN THANKS FOR SENDING THEM I feel like you just threw a steak into my zoo exhibit. I am recharged and rejuvenated my crops are watered my skin is clear. This felt very pretentious to write I am mortified.

[souridealist]

For the 40 questions game, #29 and/or 38!

29: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

My mind went immediately to A Feather's Edge by Boomchick, which is an FFVII fic wherein Cloud travels back in time clearly intending to kill Sephiroth, discovers he has traveled back in time far enough that his worst enemy is a terrified child, and is like "guess I'm rescuing a kid who is also a walking PTSD trigger for me now" -- all told from the tiny Sephiroth's perspective. It scratches some specific itches really really well for me, and its ending is satisfying enough but open enough to get the gears in my brain whirring -- there's at least one specific scene from such an imaginary sequel that I've ended up daydreaming about, though I don't think I'd write (or at least wouldn't post) it without asking.

38: Talk about a review that made your day.

I have been so, so lucky and so spoiled in this -- I'm bad at replying to comments because I'm easily overwhelmed by praise and even talking about these things feels uncomfortably like bragging, but I have been so lucky so many times. I've gotten compliments from writers I admire very much myself, and once from a writer whose fic years earlier had helped unlock a greater understanding of how to do this thing. I've gotten the same person leaving messages that say "reread kudos!" three or four times, spread out over years. One time someone went through a bunch of my fic leaving a lot of quick little comments, and eventually explained that they'd been going through my archive while they sat up nursing a fussy baby. One time, right after fucking up a reversible but deeply humiliating bit of adulting, I got someone saying I'd nailed an experience that I wasn't actually writing from life, and it yanked me out of a shame spiral. I've gotten comments on weird, tricky fic that made it clear that for this person I'd done exactly what I was trying to do; I've gotten comments that pointed out things I didn't know I was doing. I've gotten comments on niche as hell fic that make it clear at least one person wanted this thing. Once someone told me that my fic for a then-controversial ship gave them the courage to post their own. For Yuletide in 2019 I happened to draw a recipient who I didn't know, but who I'd crossed paths with a few times in multiple different fandoms besides the one we'd actually matched on, so I felt like I could stuff the fic with a bunch of easter eggs decently tailored to what I knew or could guess about their taste, and their response suggested I'd nailed it. God, I've been lucky.

[jazlynriddle]

Welcome to your life - Pt 2:

Acting On Your Best Behaviour Ch 10:

Summary:

They'd seen it in their fellow orphans often enough to recognise the pattern and were now forced to admit, despite their hopes to the contrary, that Isidora had likely suffered similar side effects.

No… they'd always known she had. The Keeper had just wanted the power that Ranrok had, enough to convince themselves that they would be able to handle it better than that naive woman.

With the start of the Keeper’s sixth-year in Hogwarts, comes a whole slew of headache-inducing challenges from the most unexpected of places. Between insignificant pests throwing wrenches into their plans and tedious teenage drama, that the Keeper is entirely unprepared for, they wonder if they'll make it to their NEWTs without losing their sanity.

Or worse, Ominis or Sebastian.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warning: Descriptions of faecal matter!

Now that the drug addiction arc and its accompanying character and relationship growths are mostly settled. I'm going to start laying more groundwork and preparations, and throw in some time skipping to get to the next arc I've got planned xD

Also, I actually started rereading from the start of the series to refresh my memory and wow, it's gotten long enough that it's taking me, myself, days to read up to the latest chapter! By the time I'm done with this series, I'm probably going to be able to read the entire thing as though someone else wrote it. HUZZAH! =D

"So, what'd you get from those diaries?" The Keeper asked as the group settled down around their usual table at the Three Broomsticks.

Garreth shrugged. "Not that much, still making my way through them. So far, it just seems like they're some truly sad souls. I almost feel bad for them.

The Keeper raised their eyebrows, the madman actually read them!? Honestly, they were impressed by the Gryffindor's dedication to what seemed like his life’s purpose of pranking. "Is that so? Now I'm curious."

"Well, first off, this is apparently their second time taking seventh year, explains why they can even afford to stalk you so much." Garreth rolled his eyes.

"They failed their NEWTs? Considering their penmanship, I bet the professors simply couldn’t read their test papers." Amit snorted, before taking a drink from his mug.

"Probably would've been the case if they hadn't simply bailed on the week of the exams." Garreth sniggered as Amit sprayed his butterbeer across the table.

"They didn't show up!?" Natty exclaimed and it was unclear if the disgust on her face was from the now lubricated table or the idea of the bullies cowardly running away from their exams.

"Yup, apparently they weren't happy with the girls their parents had signed them marriage contracts with and did so as some form of protest." Garreth shook his head. "Honestly, I think it's kinda messed up that these purebloods don't get to pick who they marry. And somehow they're the superior ones."

"Can't say I have any sympathy for them, but it's rather understandable to not want to marry someone you don't love." Poppy glanced at the Keeper. "Especially if you already love someone else."

"I suppose their families don't approve of a pair of no name hillbilly twin girls." The Keeper hummed thoughtfully to themselves. "They aren't firstborn sons, right?"

"Yeah, they've both got older brothers, that's probably why they could get away with bargaining their Hogwarts career with their parents." Garreth rolled his eyes. "Pureblood politics are so weird."

"Politics…" Amit coughed to clear his throat and vanished away the butterbeer on the table before continuing. "I wonder if we can use any of this as blackmail."

The Keeper shook their head. "Probably not anything they'd dare to write."

"Oh!" Poppy's eyes lit up. "In that case, how about we make them share something they wouldn't write down?"

"What, like with a truth serum?" The Keeper raised an eyebrow sceptically. There was no way something like that existed, even in the-

"Veritaserum is a NEWT level potion though…" Amit frowned.

Seriously?

"Are you telling me that there's a potion that makes people tell the truth?" The Keeper asked incredulously.

"Ah, right, I suppose you wouldn't know since it's not very commonly spoken or written about." Poppy smiled wryly.

"If such a thing exists, why doesn't the ministry just use that on people like Rookwood and Harlow?" The Keeper's face scrunched up in bewilderment.

The table went silent.

"Well… there is an antidote and it's said that those with Occlumency can resist it…" Amit trailed off hesitantly.

The Keeper rolled their eyes. "It's the bloody Government, surely they can use a mixture of confounding spells, torture, and force feeding to convict anyone suspected of criminal activity and obviously not allow them to take an antidote. With enough evidence and compulsion, the truth would always surface. If the serum isn't enough, you could even forcibly extract their memories to back it up."

The group went silent again at the Keeper’s casual advocation of torture. Most of them weren't particularly surprised at the Keeper’s stance, considering the way they fought in battle. Garreth's eyes were the only ones wide with surprise, having never fought alongside the Keeper and seen their violent tendencies.

"I'm not sure that's very ethical…" Natty frowned in concern and disapproval.

The Keeper snorted. "I'd say it's more unethical to allow people to harm others over some vague concept of human rights. If the authorities had used Veritaserum on Harlow after we gave them that incriminating letter, Archie's father would still be alive."

Natty flinched and averted her eyes with a frown. The Keeper ignored it, this was a ridiculous point to be stuck on.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind trying to brew it." Garreth broke the awkward silence with a nervous smile and a shrug, clearly trying to move the conversation along. "But I don’t know the recipe and it's supposed to take a month to brew. Even if by some miracle, we get the ingredients, I can't be sure it'll work."

"I think it's worth a try." Poppy nodded. "I don’t think those boys deserve the right to keep secrets."

"We can help with gathering the needed materials and I'll help with the brewing." The Keeper nodded as well. A chance to learn how to brew a truth serum was certainly something they wouldn't pass up. Even if it failed, it was definitely worth the attempt.

"I'll see what books I can find on the subject." Amit offered. "Though with it being a controlled substance, chances are slim that we'll even find the recipe, so I'd keep my hopes low."

"I'll check the Restricted Section if you can't find anything." The Keeper waved a hand dismissively.

"You-" Amit's eyes widened, and he paused. "Why am I even surprised that you have a way to sneak into the Restricted Section."

The Keeper flashed him a small smirk, before turning to Natty, waiting for her response, prompting the rest to do the same.

Glancing around the table, Natty sighed. "Very well, but I have one condition, we'll plan the questions together and I'll do the interrogation. I don't want to violate them more than we need to. We mustn't sink to their level."

"Reasonable enough." The Keeper nodded amicably, it wasn’t like they intended to allow the bullies to be interrogated under Veritaserum anyway. Not while those idiots remained abreast of the Keeper’s own secrets.

"Wait, surely you can't be suggesting that we waste this opportunity!? We could have them tell us anything!" Garreth protested. "Think of the blackmail material or at the very least the pranks we could pull on them!"

Natty glared at her housemate while the Keeper snorted, they were amazed that that one hadn't ended up in Slytherin. Still, ethical conflicts aside, it was admittedly nice to have such a naïve group of friends.

"Hey, are you alright, Natty?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, Poppy."

"If what they said is still bothering you, don't worry too much about it. They mean well, they've just been through a lot. Can't have been easy having three villains after them the moment they entered the wizarding world."

"I know… that's the problem. I don’t agree with them, but I can’t say they were wrong…"

"Honestly, I've been thinking about it too."

"You have?"

"Yeah, and I think it's fine to disagree with them. It's having people like you, that prevents justice from becoming cruelty, and people like them judging evil, that protects everyone. That’s what I think at least."

"...I suppose."

"Chin up, we're definitely doing the right thing. They've been looking so much better since we started helping them last month!"

"...yeah, you're right. Hopefully we'll be able to finish this before the Yule holidays at the end of next month."

"Do you think they'll manage to make Veritaserum with Garreth?"

"They and Garreth are the two best potioneers in our year, and Amit is great at potion theory, so I'd say there's a good chance."

"I wonder how they managed to find the recipe in the Restricted Section…"

"Probably with Sallow's help. He's been caught in the Restricted Section so many times, I'm sure he literally just gave them the title and shelf."

"I'm still surprised he and Ominis didn't agree to work with us."

"..."

"When it turns yellow, stir nine times clockwise at medium heat." Amit read from the open tome laid out on the table, before adjusting the temperature of the fire.

The Keeper nodded, eyes narrowed in focus as they carefully moved the ladle at an even pace.

"Is the unicorn horn powder ready? I need at least a spoonful to add after the potion turns red." Amit asked as he returned to reading the next set of instructions on the tome carefully.

"Almost." Garreth replied as he carefully ground the last fragment of horn into a powder. "Bit surprised you knew where to get unicorn horn."

The Keeper shrugged as the potion began turning pink. "I explored the surrounding region a fair bit last year."

"I'm amazed you managed to pass your OWLs while adventuring and fighting Ranrok, Rookwood and Harlow." Amit shook his head as he carefully collected a spoonful of powder and began to add it to the red liquid. "Now, seven times anticlockwise. Garreth, you can start shredding the Dugbog tongue and I'll prepare the Stench of the Dead."

"Got it." Garreth nodded as he readied the chopping board. "Honestly, after your assistance acquiring Billywig Stings for my last endeavour, I was sure you'd join Sebastian and I, as a frequent guest of the illustrious Detention Chamber."

"Only if I were as sloppy as you two." The Keeper snorted, inwardly apologising to Sebastian as Garreth gasped in mock offence. After all, the last time Sebastian had gotten a detention, it had been to protect them.

The Keeper felt the corners of their lips attempt to curl upwards at the fond memory and quickly shook it off. This wasn't the time to be distracted by their feelings for Sebastian-

"Alright, we've got to add these at the same time when it turns blue." Amit moved to stand beside the cauldron with the disgusting smelling bottle and Garreth joined him with his own shredded tongue strips. "You'll need to wave your wand over the pot after they're in to finish the potion."

"Got it." The Keeper nodded, making the effort to keep their stirring constant as they monitored the potion.

"Aaaand…" Amit held his breath as the potion's bright purple gradually bled into a beautiful sky blue. "Now!"

The potion splashed slightly as the handfuls of ingredients plopped into the bubbling liquid. The moment they sank under the surface, the Keeper quickly waved their wand over the cauldron and the surface of the liquid glowed brightly before a cloud of steam burst from it.

The three jumped back in surprise and the Keeper irritably fanned the smoke away with a hand. When the air finally cleared, the contents of the cauldron were now a surprisingly clear and transparent fluid.

"...did we…" Amit murmured, staring at the pot. The disgusting odour of the Stench of the Dead was completely gone.

"We did it!" Garreth cheered, jumping with a fist in the air.

"Don't celebrate so soon, just because it looks correct doesn't mean its potency is desirable or that it actually performs the intended results." The Keeper chuckled at the Gryffindor's excitement.

"Heh heh, that just means we've got to test it!" Garreth grinned and Amit sighed.

"Indeed. The Yule break starts next week, so this weekend is our last chance." The Keeper took a set of vials out of their satchel. "How about you guys start putting the ingredients back while I pour the potion into these vials?"

"Sure, I remember where to put the remaining ingredients we lifted from Professor Sharp's store." Garreth grinned as he scooped the remaining items and dumped them into Amit's arms. "You can help keep a lookout."

"Why me-" Amit complained as Garreth dragged him out of the room by the sleeve.

The Keeper smirked as the two boys left, quickly ladling out the cauldron's contents into six vials which they placed into a blue box and shoved into their satchel. They then removed a brown box containing six identical vials of clear and odourless liquid, placing it on the counter.

With that settled, the Keeper went about cleaning the potion station until the two boys returned.

"Alright, so we're all in agreement on this list of questions?" Natty asked, holding up a parchment.

The Keeper nodded, not that it mattered. If everything went well, she wouldn't even get the chance to ask them.

"Then, let's get started." Garreth grinned widely as he held up the brown box for Natty and Poppy to take one vial each. "Good luck!"

The two girls quickly left the Three Broomsticks through the front door and the Keeper's eyes slid upwards towards the upper floors. Now, it was up to the girls and all they could do was wait for their signal.

Once outside, Natty and Poppy hurried up the snow covered stone steps and around to the other side of the Three Broomsticks. Reaching the side door that led back into the building, Natty lightly pushed the door open and stepped through it, finding themselves on the second floor.

Looking over the banister, Natty noted that the two bullies were on the first floor, leaning against the railings. The bullies' mugs sat on said railings beside their arms as they looked out over the table on the ground floor, where the group always sat with the Keeper, and all in all, doing a terrible job of appearing as though they weren't blatantly spying.

Quietly, she and Poppy made their way down the stairs, and around the bullies, to stand within view of the Keeper’s table behind the bullies. Once in position, Natty lifted her wand and whispered. "Lumos."

Spotting the light from the corner of their eye, the Keeper stood and began walking under the first-floor platform towards the fireplace. The bullies, predictably, left the front facing banister immediately to scamper to the other side of the first floor and looked downwards over those railings to keep the Keeper within their sight.

At the same time, Poppy and Natty quickly, and quietly, brisk walked over to the two abandoned mugs of butterbeer and dripped three drops of the contents of their vials into each, before quickly returning to their original spot. With their task done, Natty raised her lit wand again.

Spotting the second signal, the Keeper collected a handful of nuts from a bowl on the fireside counter and returned to their table casually.

The bullies again followed them, returning to their original spot, leaning on the railings overlooking the Keeper's table. Natty took a deep breath as she and Poppy watched the bullies pick up their mugs and take several gulps from them.

"Alright. Time to see if it worked." Natty breathed and Poppy gave her a supportive pat on the shoulder.

Mustering that Gryffindor courage that she was so proud of, Natty began to approach the bullies when one of them let out a loud groan of pain.

She stopped in surprise, when the other bully broke wind at an embarrassingly high volume, the sound lasting long enough to draw everyone’s attention to its uneven stutter.

One that sounded alarmingly wet, no less.

The nearby customers began to snigger as the two bullies faces paled and then began turning red.

Without a word, the two boys abruptly broke into a sprint, shuffling down the stairs as fast as their feet could carry them, with another loud and wet fart echoing in their wake. The sound came accompanied by the appearances of brown splotches and footprints left behind by the bullies’ shoes.

Garreth immediately burst into uproarious laughter, alongside several other customers, while Sirona shouted angrily at the two bullies as they rushed out of the establishment.

Giggling, Poppy began descending the stairs as well, taking care to avoid the reeking brown spatter on the wooden steps. Natty shook her head with a sigh before following, slipping around Sirona as the bar owner began to clean away the disgusting stains.

"Well, that went well." Poppy laughed lightly as she and Natty reseated themselves at the table.

"Well? I think that was fantastic! A perfect prank if I do say so myself, so worth the month-long brew!" Garreth shook with laughter.

The Keeper smirked. "I believe a wise man once said, he who hath smelt it hath dealt it."

"And if it was more than just gas, he will have felt it. In. His. Pants!" Garreth continued with an enormous grin, as he punctuated each of those last few words by jabbing a finger in the air.

Honestly, the Keeper was wondering if that grin stretching from ear to ear was hurting his face. It certainly looked like it should.

Natty sighed. "I won't deny that it ended up being a funny and unexpectedly suitable revenge, but I would have rathered it gone according to plan."

The Keeper shrugged. "At least it didn't kill them. In all honesty, if we had messed it up worse, it probably wouldn't have been funny."

Natty's face paled at the suggestion and Poppy shook her head. "Well, it would probably have been obvious if it had failed that badly, let's just be glad we got a good laugh for our troubles."

"Indeed, it was certainly worth the effort, and I am nonetheless glad to have learnt and attempted such a complex potion." Amit agreed with a smile.

Natty sighed but her eyes were less downtrodden this time, even managing a small smile. "You're right, we won't be defeated."

"Just because this plan didn't work out, doesn't mean we won't keep trying till we have a solution!" Garreth nodded, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

The Keeper snorted, they certainly were an optimistic bunch, but that wasn't a bad thing. Pessimistic mentalities were more deadly than most of their wizarding peers realised. If you'd already given up in your mind, no plan you concocted would succeed, and you would have lost the battle before it even began.

That was something they respected in Sebastian, his optimism, dedication, and determination to do the impossible regardless of how many people tried to stop him. Even Ominis, though withheld often by caution and anxiety, was not afraid to use whatever he had at his disposal to protect what he saw as his. A trait they too shared.

The Keeper was proud to have gathered so many people with the right life attitudes, not just as friends but in their partners too. They wouldn't let any of this effort be for naught. Neither this group's nor their partners'.

While they knew that not everyone would agree, the Keeper believed that the way to make up for deceiving their friends, was to make sure that they'd done it for a worthwhile reason.

That's why they sought Sebastian and Ominis' aid in preparing a very specific brew for the replica vials, with the express purpose of letting the Keeper steal the actual Veritaserum while still creating an effect that their friends would appreciate. The liquid in these fake vials was incredibly potent, causing a sudden and urgent need to use the bathroom, with only two drops.

Perhaps it was a bit overkill, it had been almost as difficult to create such a fake, as it was to brew the actual Veritaserum. They were beyond grateful to have had Ominis' skill in potion theory, and Sebastian’s resourceful creativity, for this craft.

Fortunately, it had gone surprisingly well, and the Keeper felt that their efforts had been worthwhile. Allowing them to look forward to testing the actual Veritaserum without too much guilt. A full dose was three drops, so if it worked, they'd have at least ten doses per vial for a grand total of sixty uses. A coil of glee and excitement roiled in their chest.

Excellent.

This wouldn't go to waste. Their friends and partners' efforts would become a firm foundation for what the Keeper would soon build.

“Now. What do we do with the rest of these then?” Garreth grinned as he held up the brown box full of diarrhoea-inducing transparent and odourless liquid.

The rest of the group paled.

Notes:

While I do understand that Veritaserum is not 100% reliable and that memories can be doctored, that doesn't change how incompetent the Ministry is in the Wizarding World.

At the end of Natty's questline, Nurse Blainey says "What sort of world are we in where children solve our problems?" And this is indeed an entirely horrifying realisation to come to when it involves your local law enforcement.

The letter we submitted to Officer Singer should have been more than enough to at least begin an investigation, the fact that it was not, is ludicrous.

In a way the Keeper’s argument on Veritaserum is the age-old "guilty until proven innocent" vs "innocent until proven guilty". Their reasons for vouching for "guilty until proven innocent" are (hopefully) obvious enough, considering their childhood, and accordingly, the Keeper very much ascribes to the Machiavellian philosophy "the ends justify the means".

Also, I'll remind everyone that the Keeper is still a 15 year old kid, and maturity does not equal experience and knowledge xD

Plus, they're mostly uninterested in politics, which is where a majority of the Ministry's incompetence stems from, as such, they don't see how the nuances of ethics and responsibility can be utterly suppressed by wealth and privilege.

Like the way Lucius Malfoy weaselled his way out of Azkaban despite being a Death Eater and even manipulated the Minister in Harry Potter.

[crystaiskiess]

Thank you for answering first of all :) (also glad it wasn't a dumb question, one win at a time🫡). And tbh I really didn't have any answer of yours in mind, I just wanted an answer for it in general since it's really been plaguing my mind since that chapter; So that answer is MORE than enough. And also memory failure very much makes sense, I myself am a very forgetful person too, so like😭 (maybe I'm also just a little bit of a sappy person and thats why I wanted to know and thought: maaaybe?).

Sometimes I forget that people in stories don't have the pleasure of rereading and rereading and rereading their own stories till their last breath, which I obviously can do, so of course I'll remember it when they dont.

Though on THAT topic and please excuse me if that is one question/topic too much, I would very much understand since I can be a bit much with stuff I fixate on; but since I've read "The crystal cave" the first time I looked out for the stuff you implied might happen in the future. One of which was the sword scene (help I don't know what else to call it). At first I thought that scene happened in "The Changeling" when Merlin gave Arthur his sword and they have the talk about destiny and how it makes you feel like you don't have any choice etc, but then "The Sorcerers truth" came out and on god you made me doubt all that because that ALSO seemed to fit "the crystal caves" description (if not more than the scene from The changeling). The one thing I know is that I myself knew logically Merlin wouldn't really remember that since it was just snippets he saw, I've just been looking out for it so I kind of jumped at "The Sorcerers Truth's" description with that sword and magic conparison. I was very unsure if that would still later be explained or not (since I also caught the cloak scene you wrote in of Arthur still having it from "Under false presences") I really just wanted to know if I had the right idea here or not, I'd very much understand if it wasn't possible to answer that, though.

anyways to cut it short I really just wanted to say how much I appreciate your story and thank you for writing it since it's been one of, if not my favorite ever since (if that hasn't been made clear yet) and that I really rarely spent any time not thinking about it (kinda bad if you have other stuff to do but oh well). I hope it wasn't too much of anything and also coherent enough to understand. But I couldn't really not say it, since it's just non stop on my mind for what feels like an eternity now and as of now I couldn't really ever talk about it, and in all honesty I could probably spent days talking about it.

I really hope you have a good rest of your day/night :)

awww thank you so so so much !!! i truly cannot even express how much it means to know that you're enjoying oafk so much and that it's one of your favourites, it really means the absolute WORLD

yeah i love to hint sometimes at the fact that unlike us, merlin and arthur don't have the ease of being able to reread their own lives, and even though it's obviously a lot of words and a lot to keep track of even for readers, for them entire years full of memories and experiences are passing, some things are bound to slip through the cracks !!!

to answer your question (and truly there are never too many questions i love talking about oafk, it's my baby) yeah you're absolutely right merlin doesn't remember those snippets of visions at all, they were much more for the reader - and the sword scene aligns with the one in 'the sorcerer's truth' !!! you've 100% got the right idea there

i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night too 💕💕

[mzannthropy]

Hi:) I know that you have reread Pat series recently (and so did I), and if you don't mind, I would love to know your opinion about Sid and May's relationship and later, their marriage. (That's the question; what follows is my own rambling and ideas;).

While reading this plotline, I had a feeling that Montgomery tried to make an inpression that it was only May's fault and that "poor Sid" was "trapped" into the marriage against his will. I also wondered if it wasn't Montgomery's own reaction or... way of dealing with her son's marriage. Or maybe... explaining him?

Chester married Luella (who was already pregnant at this time!) in 1933 or 1934 (can't remember the exact date, but the baby was born in 1934) and Mistress Pat was published in 1935, so Maud was dealing with that situation while writing the book. Of course, everyone knew it was not Luella's fault and if anything - it was Chester who trapped her, but truth be told - Montgomery was a mother and would always stand by her son. On the other hand; Montgomery and her husband lied about the whole thing and tried to make an impression that the marriage took place earlier (as Chester himself told other people) to save a honor of a family, so I don't think she would put that sort of "explanation" on purpose, but perhaps she was putting her own feelings and thoughts into this book, without even realizing it? Because it might have been easier for her to deal with thinking that her "good, honorable" son had been "trapped" into marriage than with knowing the truth (that he had ruined a girl's life).

I understand that Maud knew the truth - knew that Luella was not this kind of girl - but knowing the truth and wanting it are two different things...

And back to Sid/May... I always felt that May (and Binnies) were rather ill-treated by Montgomery. Gardiners were by no means perfect themselves, but still they felt it was alright to look down on people like this.

Well, thank you in advance! And of course, take your time, I will be happy to hear from you anytime:).

Interesting question! I suspect that it was only the way Sid and May got married that was inspired by Chester and Luella--eloping and then coming home to announce to everyone they were husband and wife. Not the actual marriage itself. It may have been LMM's way of dealing with it, or it may purely be the fact that it makes a good story. Or both. (Actually it got me thinking about the occurrence of elopement in her books, but that's an entirely different topic). From what I remember from Gift of Wings, LMM didn't have a problem, or at least not any major one, with Luella. It was that one Stuart's gf she hated, she made them break up, but she was okay with his next one, who then became his wife.

As for the "trapped into marriage". Yeahhhh, I don't buy that. Anytime I hear something about a man being "trapped into marriage", I go like "really? reeeaaaalllly???" with a raised eyebrow. Marriage benefits men. Make no mistake about that. You've also got to wonder what it was that made Sid such a coveted bachelor for May to want to snatch him. It's possible she only wanted to marry him so that she'd be married to a respectable man, as opposed to ending up an "old maid" which would have been considered a worse fate. But then, that's the fault of the society, not May's.

The Binnies were set up as antagonists from the first book, but I don't really have any feels about them one way or the other, bc I can't find it in myself to care about any of the characters in the Pat duology. I liked Jingle/Hilary and Rae in the second book, but other than that, no... not even the cats. And I couldn't care about the antagonists either. So every time the narrative mentioned the Binnies as negative characters, I just rolled my eyes. It was clear LMM wanted me to hate them, but I just didn't care enough (aside from the fact that being the contrarian that I am, if a book wants me to feel a certain way, I will feel the opposite just because!). But normally I don't like a group of people being presented as only one thing, be it a family or an alien species (that's why DS9 is my favourite Star Trek). So yeah, seeing a bit of nuance with the Binnies would have been good, but the conflict just left me indifferent.

Anyway, there was no "poor Sid". Sid had it well. He lived in clover, to borrow a phrase from Stella Maynard's letter to Anne in AOTI. He had a number of women to at home to fuss over him: his mother, his sisters, Judy and now a wife. He had the best life!

[hopetorun]

tagged by @bropunzeling and @postoperation 💕

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

first fic (on ao3): perspective, a star wars (legends) eu rarepair fic that i wrote for yuletide in 2011 that honestly was like pulling teeth at the time and i don’t think i’ve ever reread. i crossposted and then deleted some social network fic but i honestly don’t remember if i ever backdated any of it correctly anyway so this is probably the first one regardless since i got an ao3 specifically to participate in yuletide in 2011

last fic: make a better mistake, the brady/quinn home by now timestamp i put on here the other day. i don’t have much to say about this really except that it was fun to write out one of the bits of their backstory, which i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about

fic for a fandom/ship i only wrote once: don’t read the last page, broadchurch pornography i wrote in the year of someone’s lord 2021 after rewatching because my mom hadn’t seen it and wanted to. i wrote so much het porn in 2021 and yet i still can barely bring myself to write any of the common slang terms for vagina 💀

favorite fic in the fandom/ship with the most works: well in the summer of 2012 i was possessed by demons and wrote two then-avengers/now-mcu fics but i can’t say i like either of them. i guess i think this one is better, if pressed. honestly i don't feel a need to delete them but i am glad that no one ever seems to read them lol

fic i wish more people read: the sky is big enough, which i feel like i've said before! i really like how it came together but dropping 15k unannounced and unheralded on a medium-sized fandom and peacing out isn't exactly the best way to attract readers 😂 at least it exists for me to pretend is part of the game of thrones canon

fic you agonized over the most: this is kind of a toss-up. on the one hand, it took me the better part of six months to write preference, which clocks in at a not actually all that long 37k, because for mysterious reasons it was just a really slow story for me to pick through and i had to put a lot of thought into what i could do with each scene since the structure (which i imposed on myself btw. i made this problem) is so limiting. on the other hand the actual writing sessions for home by now were easy and productive but the story took ten whole entire months of my life, a major characterization revision just under halfway through, and a major pacing evening-out three quarters of the way through. both involved a lot of crying about whether the story was actually good.

fic that sprang fully formed from my mind without any effort: okay this is a throwback and also such a rarepair as in the only fic in the tag but years ago i wrote jt compher/his college teammate kevin lohan and it was just such an enjoyable story to write because i had a clear vision of the arc and it came together neatly and the non-linear structure meant i got to play with some fun juxtaposition. anyway: instructions for dancing

a story i'm proud of: this is not the end. was this a ridiculous thing to write in any year, much less the year 2020? sure. but write it i did, and it was the first novel-length story i ever successfully wrote, much less completed and edited and posted. and i think it's a nice story! proud of myself for getting over the long story hump and proud of myself for doing it while also doing graduate school. and proud of myself for finding something to do with my time so that my entire life didn't just become work and grad school in 2020.