#I remember the reveal day distinctly

[rosecandyart]

TOMORROW

[tender-rosiey]

MORE HUSBAND!SUKUNA PLSSSS (not forcing TvT) (not modern-)

tough love — ryomen sukuna x gn!reader

a/n: okay but like imagine living in a palace with this guy

your husband is sweet, but not in the traditional sense.

when you think of sweet, you think of nights spent with hushed whispers and mutual giggles, you think of flowers at your doorstep every single day.

you don’t think of a 7 foot something man, with the biggest scowl on his face, staring at you in the early morning and scaring the heebie-jeebies out of you.

but he is still sweet.

despite the blood staining his hands and his manic grin doing such acts, the same hands have the ability to hold you as gently as one would stroke a flower’s petal.

they’re able to cradle you and carry you to bed and tuck you in. sure, there is no goodnight kiss, but that’s because he doesn’t leave. when you rest, your husband stays awake on the look to make sure that no harm comes to you.

he is rough with what he does. still, you feel happiness about to overflow when, for example, he gets you jewelry he believes would suit you.

add to that, the fact that he personally puts them on you. you remember that one time he got back from his endeavor—terrorizing yet another village—and he greeted you with a box painted with gold and wrapped in velvet.

you took the box from his hands and opened. it revealed a very exquisite anklet with jewels of your favorite color. they are organized in a matter that you distinctly remember telling your husband about and how pretty that is to you.

you looked up to him giddily, “so you do pay attention!”

he takes the anklet from the box, grumbling, “shut up,” and despite his harsh tone and words, he kneels and puts the anklet on you. it’s a bit hard, considering his big hands and long nails, but he manages. he pulls back with a smirk, and you examine the anklet on your leg.

“I like it.”

“of course, you do; I chose it.”

he is an ass, but that same guy takes care of you when you’re sick—somehow. when news had spread that you’ve fallen ill, you expected that your husband would simply send the maids to your aid and the doctors to ensure your rapid and swift recovery.

instead, what you saw was the figure of your—scary—husband stood at your door. you peek from under the covers, a cough escaping your lips, “how can I help you, husband?”

he frowns down at you, “you look like shit.”

you start laughing, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit—his frown deepens—, “well—obviously! I am sick,” you try to get a look of what’s behind him, “where are the maids and doctors?”

he sits on the bed, right by your side, and rests a hand on your forehead, “I am not letting their filthy hands touch you,” a sigh threatens to escape him, when he feels your temperature, “you’re foolish.”

you huff, “I can’t control how sick I get, you know!”

“well, you could’ve avoided this, if you had listened to me when I told you not to play in the rain.”

the memory brings a dopey smile to your face.

the rain was falling freely but gently. the wind was blowing just right. and your husband was watching you, under the door frames so he doesn’t get wet. he called for you, of course, but you’re a free spirit and wanted to enjoy the outdoors a bit more.

you’re never confided in the walls of the palace, but it’s nice to feel like a rebel every once in a while even if it ends up with you being sick in bed.

he sees the little kick of your feet, “but, it was fun, right? I even managed to get you to stand in the rain with me!”

yes, he did, in the end and after much whining, go in the rain with you. he was simply standing there, but it’s the thought that counts, right? and because he is the king of curses, he didn’t get sick, but he did get stuck taking care of you.

it’s a win in his book—even if he hates seeing you all frail like that—but he would never tell you that.

he shoves a cup of water to your lips, and grumbles, “shut up and drink.”

your goes up to hold the cup, but his glare makes you slowly lower them back down. you get the memo that he wants to take care of you, to the fullest. he slowly helps you drink all of the water.

so you relax the entire night, letting him nurse you back to health. he is a bit clumsy throughout it, and you understand it’s because he never truly cared for someone before nor did someone care for him in a way so tender and gentle.

you think it’s cute: his determination mixed with a hint of roughness and cluelessness.

you want to giggle and chuckle at some of the things he does like how he was confused about which medicine you were supposed to take and at what hour.

or like how—despite his enormous strength—he was unable to take the cover of the bottle of herbs off, but you’re sure he would either glare at you or leave you to suffer alone for an hour.

so yeah, he stays with you the entire time you’re sick, night and day, never leaving your chambers. even when he needed something like medicine or a wet cloth, he would send the maids.

he stays by your side till you’re back to your feet with a smile on your face.

and when you’re dinning on the very long and gigantic table, you look intently at your husband’s face. he reminds you of something with his permanent scowl and grumpily attitude.

he notices your gaze and groans, “what is it now?”

you gasp as you finally come to the long awaited realization.

a tiger.

your husband is a tiger, one hell of a grumpy tiger.

“your face looks stupider than usual; what’s up with you now?”

an asshole tiger.

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au! This one is a horror-themed au for spooky season! Enjoy!

This au is Inspired by the story of King Pedro I of Portugal and Ines de Castro (which is a heartbreaking story that deserves to have more people talking about it), and it's set in a world where Merlin and Arthur are already together in season 3. After a magic reveal gone wrong, Merlin's magic was revealed while Uther was still alive, leading to Uther ordering Merlin's execution while Arthur was away on a hunting trip. When Arthur returns, he's met with the news of Merin's death, but he refuses to believe such horrible news until he rushes into Gaius's chambers, screaming for Merlin, only to find Gaius and Gwen sobbing over Merlin's body.

Arthur is overcome by grief and, after a few hours sitting in Gaius's chambers staring at Merlin's unnaturally still form with tears streaming down his face, Arthur marches off to face his father, to make him pay for his crimes. Uther is, of course, furious over Arthur getting so worked up over a treacherous sorcerer, but Arthur fights him like a madman, fueled by grief and rage.

In the end, Arthur wins the duel, and while the shocked lords and knights watching the whole ordeal were expecting Arthur to run his father through with is blade, Arthur does something that no one expects. He uses his blade to carve open Uther's chest, cutting out his heart, saying that Uther had been so heartless as to take Arthur's love from him, this ought to be his fate.

While the lords and knights were all shocked and horrified at the display, there was little they could do besides acknowledge the prince as their new ruler. Within a couple days, Uther's funeral and Arthur's coronation were organized, but Arthur still felt numb, even as the crown was placed on his head. He could almost feel the empty consort's throne next to him, where Merlin was always supposed to be, mocking him viciously.

But then, an idea formed in Arthur's not-quite-sane-anymore mind. Merlin had always deserved to sit at his side, to be honored as any consort to a king should be. Arthur had to see this through, to ensure that Merlin received the honors that he was denied during life.

Arthur ordered the servants to, under Gaius's supervision, collect Merlin's body, dress him in royal robes, and have him carried to the throne room. There was no way to make any of this right again, no way to make Arthur feel whole once more, but there was a way to make sure that Merlin's memory and all that he meant to Arthur lived on.

When the doors to the throne room finally opened, shocked and horrified gasps rose up from the assembled court at the sight that awaited them. There, being carried in on a stone slab, lay Merlin's pale, prone body, dressed in royal finery from Arthur's own wardrobe. His colorless pallor against the rich red robes created a striking and distinctly disturbing contrast, which was only heightened by the colorful jewelry that accompanied the outfit.

Arthur imagined what a magnificent sight Merlin would have made if he were alive and yearned for such a vision with all of his heart. But the reality of the situation was as grim as the expressions of the knights carrying Merlin's body. Merlin was gone, taking Arthur heart and all of his joy with him, and all that was left for Arthur to feel was somber determination to make at least one thing right: Merlin would be honored and remembered as a king.

The crowd's shocked whispering didn't cease as the procession passed them and made its way towards the thrones, reverently placing the slab in front of the steps to the throne, but they were shocked into silence as Arthur picked up Merlin's body and cradled him gently before carrying him over to the consort's throne and placing him on it with the greatest care.

The court was silenced at the disturbing sight of a limp body sitting in the queen's throne, but horrified gasps shot up from the crowd as the king suddenly turned around to face them, his eyes bloodshot and glaring at them all.

"You, all of you, stood by and let my father do this! And now, you will show your respect to the man you had forsaken. Merlin was everything to me, and I never had any intention to rule without him by my side. Living or dead, if I am king, then so is he."

Arthur slowly made his way back to his own throne and sat down, a picture of royal power. His eyes darted over to Merlin for a second, before shifting back over the crowd. Still, was it just Arthur's desperate imagination, or was there now a slight flush in Merlin's skin that wasn't there earlier?

"Just as you all knelt before me and took an oath of fealty, you will do the same for him. You will give him all of the honor he deserved in life."

At first, the lords in attendance just looked at him in utter disbelief, but the fierce glare Arthur sent them confirmed that the king was being entirely serious. Slowly, each of the lords knelt before the consort's throne, not daring to look up at the disturbing sight before them, and recited their oaths of fealty, feeling the king's burning gaze on them all the while.

Finally, after all of the lords had taken their oaths, a pale Geoffrey presented Arthur with the consort's crown, a treasure that had not been seen by anyone since Ygraine's passing. Arthur gingerly lifted the crown and made his way over to Merlin.

As he stepped closer, Arthur wanted to weep. Perhaps it was some cruel trick his mind was playing on him, put it looked like Merlin's color had returned to him, making him appear like he was only sleeping, like he would wake up and everything would be fine again.

Taking a steadying breath to hold his tears at bay, Arthur finally stepped right in front of Merlin, holding the crown over his motionless head. It wasn't fair, Arthur decided. It wasn't fair that Arthur had finally become king, was finally in a place where he could openly profess his love for Merlin, but Merlin wasn't here by his side to see it!

Still, he could let everyone else see his love for Merlin. Slowly, he lowered the crown onto Merlin's head, letting rest on his limp head. Arthur took a shaking step back, trembling with rage and grief as he looked at Merlin, bedecked in royal robes and wearing the crown that Arthur had always longest to give him. Arthur's own mind still mocked him, making Merlin look almost alive again, like he was only sleeping, when Arthur when that Merlin was gone, and all that was left of him was this pale, empty shell and a terrible hollowness in Arthur's chest where his heart was supposed to be.

Arthur tenderly gasped Merlin's chin, tilting his head up to face him. This was goodbye, Arthur knew it. After this, Merlin would be laid to rest with all the honors of a king, and Arthur would be left ruling over his kingdom alone and heartbroken for the rest of his days. With tears flowing freely down his face, Arthur leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Merlin's lips. Once again, Arthur's mind took pity on him, as he could swear that Merlin's lips were warm with life under his own.

Arthur drew back, gazing at his love's face for what might be the last time, attempting to commit every minute detail to memory, such that Merlin's likeness would never fade from his mind even as the years went by. As Arthur eyes scanned over Merlin's face, however, there was one thing that struck him as odd before his mind caught up to what he was seeing and his heart, which had felt cold and frozen fir days, started beating at a frantic rhythm.

Because Merlin's eyes were open.

(Yes, Merlin was immortal the whole time, but his magic was just taking a while to heal him lol!)

And that's all for now! I hope you all enjoyed this au! Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[greenfiend]

Mike and Will’s love will save Hawkins

Everything, and I mean everything has been leading up to this point.

Let me explain how the power of gay love will save the day…

#doorgate or #gategate

🚪🍑❤️ + 🔑🍆⚡️

TW: mentions of sex and brief mention of CSA

If you’d like to read this with a soundtrack:

So it’s been a while since I made posts about Lover’s Lake… and to be honest I thought aspects of my theory were kind of silly (but of course who cares this is just for fun). But now I’m back and more confident than ever that Lover’s Lake will be an incredibly important location for ST5, especially for Mike and Will.

To begin, let’s start with the physics set up within the show. Why physics you say? We are talking about the love of two gay nerds afterall (one of them named after a famous theoretical physicist)… of course physics is involved!

Way back in season 1, Mr. Clarke helpfully taught us how to create a doorway between two worlds. This doorway would require a massive amount of energy… “more than humans are currently capable of creating”. I appreciate the subtle hint of a possibility that one day humans could create that level of energy.

In season 2 we have Steve helpfully explain to us this alternate electricity exists. He also related it to a storm and then distinguished it from a regular electromagnetic field.

Now, interestingly enough within the book titled The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time (the conspiracy which inspired Stranger Things so much that it was originally titled Montauk), there is a mention of this type of energy as well:

“Reich was known in part for his discovery of “orgone” energy, which is orgasmic or life energy. His experiments revealed orgone energy to be distinctly different from ordinary electromagnetic energy.”

So to sum it up so far, we have learned:

1. In order to create a doorway, a massive amount of energy is required.

2. There’s an alternate form of energy known as “orgone” energy “like a sexual electricity”.

Okay. Now unto season 3…

So, season 3 had the Russians attempt to “open the gate”/door once again after it was closed back in season 2.

Back in 1984, the Russians manage to get the door slightly open but it keeps closing. The Russian working on the project begs for “more time”, shortly after (like right after the opening credits) we hear the line “just a little more time could open closing doors” from the song playing while shown a picture of Mike. Later on, we have Will claim he’s “not going to fall in love” and then the song plays “love that is new to you, you open up the door”.

We also get this association for Mike. Mike is the one who could open closing doors, in other words he is "the key".

Okay wait lets go back to the science here!

The Russians have "the key" which is said to "emit a great energy" so much so that it can "open a doorway between worlds". Alexei also mentions how the location of where the key goes matters, it is "half of the equation". They chose Hawkins because, the gate has already opened there. (I talk more about the implications of that here). In case you haven't figured it out yet, Mike is "the key", and Hawkins = Will (remember, Hawkins is not the same without him).

Mr. Clarke is back again with some more science! In this scene, he actually associates an Electromagnetic Field with two people! Implying that two people can create their own Electromagnetic Field. But of course Clarke-Byers' field is stable because there is no sexual electricity between them.

So…

We have Mike referred to as "the key". The key can create a doorway with the right location. Hawkins is the right location and Will is implied to be “Hawkins”.

Two people can create their own Electromagnetic Field.

Okay wow, are you guys still with me here?

These friends are indeed electric…

The very first one was way back in season 2. Mike placed his hand on top of Will’s and right after we cut to Will’s drawing. Look closely… there’s lightning! ⚡️ It’s “sexual electricity”!

In season 3, the electricity only grew between but simultaneously so did the subtlety of it all. They held hands in the movie theatre. Yes yes they did! That’s why we are shown a movie playing with hands popping out! This is what “triggered” Will (manifesting as a reminder of the shadow monster…). But most importantly… this is how the power went back on in Hawkins.

In season 4, it’s arguably even more subtle… but the clues are still present! Mike and Will lock eyes while the electricity flickers. Then we have the final scene which shows us a cloud resembling a heart above them with lightning! Heart with lightning… keep this in mind for later. We also have a very tiny “Live Mike” poster on Mike’s bulletin board… the association with Mike and lightning/electricity is clear…

Even in the marketing, the lightning is very much present. Notice specifically the lightning with the heart in the first picture…

Doors that keep closing…

The show constantly makes references to closing/opening doors. The gates opening are an aspect of this too! I have good reason to believe that this all leads back to Will.

I go over the door symbolism in this post but I’ll give a brief summary:

So far each time the gates have opened within the show, they have opened without Will’s consent. Now, I mean this on multiple levels. I mean this as the closet door- as people keep opening it by insinuating his sexuality. I also mean this in a more deeply tragic way. Child sexual abuse… to be blunt. This is why he’s desperate to keep all the doors and gates shut… even if it kills him. It’s a reality that forever haunts him, worse than any monster imaginable.

Will has such deep trauma that it manifests as monsters within the show. This is why I believe Will has been struggling far more than we are shown explicitly. In case you’re unaware, during the 80s and prior, there was a deeply homophobic belief perpetrated by society that gay people (specifically gay men) were predators. As a victim, Will is terrified of becoming a predator… becoming “the monster”. He’s frightened of himself.

I believe that… Will has been “pushing [Mike] away” far more than we know. He is desperately in love with Mike, yes, but the hatred he has for himself is far greater at this point in the show.

He needs to learn to love and accept himself despite all that he has been through. He needs to know that he is not a monster, and that his love and sexuality can be a beautiful thing. He needs to do this independently of Mike. Mike will be the key to his door when he’s ready.

To sum up everything thus far: doorways/gates require A LOT of energy, sexual electricity is a form of energy, and Will is associated with doors and Mike with keys. Got it?

The Russian Code

You may have already seen my post on this but it’s *very* relevant here so I’ll summarize (read the post for more depth):

The week is long because Mike and Will will be separated. Emotions affect time afterall.

The silver cat feeds the “silver cat” is a gate/doorway. Mike and Will are both associated with being a “snack” because they feed it sexual electricity thus causing it to open!

When blue meets yellow in the west. Mike will be stuck in the “East”/the UD, then return to the “West”/right side up to meet Will.

A trip to China sounds nice, if you tread lightly. “China” is on the other side of the “silver cat” doorway. Mike and Will will reach a new world through this doorway.

Again, if you think I’m reaching, please check out this post as I outline the clues in much more depth.

Opening multiple doors

As mentioned earlier, Mike is the key to opening Will’s door. This has multiple meanings:

Figuratively: Will’s closet door. Mike is struggling with his sexuality as well, but he will likely accept himself first, and inspire Will to follow.

Sexually: Will will open himself up sexually to Mike. They will have an intimate scene. I’m positive of this now.

Supernaturally: A portal door/gate to another world.

He’s truly the key to his heart…

What I theorize will happen…

So based on all the clues I’ve outlined (plus more) I will break down how everything will likely happen (leading up to the climax):

Mike confronts Will about the painting. Now, I truly believe Mike already knows that the painting and speech was all Will. He knows Will well. Will downplays the significance of the painting though making us (the audience) believe that he’s not actually still in love with Mike. (This could be why Noah now views Will’s love for Mike as a spoiler 🤔).

Will continues to push Mike away but more explicitly. Mike is frustrated. Tensions are high! Mike is “banished” to the UD, as well as nearly half of our main cast. They reunite with Max.

Will is devastated that Mike is gone. Will then faces severe homophobia and cruel accusations made his way (likely connected to those who went missing). Without Mike, he falls apart. The insecurities around his sexuality reach a boiling point for him. This will be represented by the US military closing off all the gates, separating half of our main characters from each other.

Will finds a letter from Mike. We (the audience) will realize (if we are paying attention) that Mike loves Will through the reveal of the “Love, Mike” written at the end. Will will not realize/believe it, but he is given the courage to fight on.

Will spends time with his mother and friends who express to him how much they love him unconditionally. As he starts to slowly accept himself, the gates slowly show signs of opening up.

After a long week of separation, on one fateful stormy night, Mike finds a way to escape the UD through watergate and Will is there to retrieve him. Will is likely not alone, he’s with the “right side up” crew on a boat trying to save those in the UD. Only Mike is able to get through the gate… (possibly through radio communication with Will, they create enough electricity for the gate to open).

Mike and Will are soaking wet and Mike is injured, thus he and Will make their way to Reefer Rick’s Lakeside House. They have to remove their shirts, and the sexual tension is through the roof. Will tends to his wounds and sparks fly. Mike reveals just how deeply in love he is with Will and how much it pains him that Will has been so closed off. Will turns away- not wanting to hear it at first, thinking he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve Mike’s love.

Tears start pouring down Mike’s face as he continues to tell Will that he’s done with hiding, and he’s done with pretending that he isn’t in love with Will. Will stops, finally starting to believe Mike’s words. Mike, thinking that his words still aren’t getting through to Will, turns and starts walking away. Will calls Mike’s name, Mike swiftly turns his head. He says “I love you too” while in tears, walking towards Mike. He then kisses him ever so passionately! Mike is taken aback with wide eyes for a brief moment then is quick to shut his eyes, grab onto Will for dear life and reciprocates the kiss very enthusiastically. They go horizontal on the bed, Mike on top.

While they are making love enough sexual energy is created for thunder to erupt and lightning. One giant lightning strike hits right in the centre of Lover’s Lake into watergate and opening it up completely! The (heart shaped) lake is literally a broken heart resuscitated by electricity. The water from the lake is parted right in the middle (think Moses parting the sea… or perhaps… like a surfer boy?) making it possible for everyone to walk out easily from the gate. It opens it up SO much that everyone trapped there escapes. They’re all freed!

The sun rises, the storm clears, and of course- there’s a giant rainbow. Will and Mike wake up and smile more brightly than ever as they recall the events of the night prior. They walk out hand in hand and head towards the end of the rainbow. They find a new gate hidden behind watergate and descent into it together. It’s fairyland. They then agree to start their own party, just the two of them.

Fairyland/Feywild

Credit to @byler-alarmist and their post for bringing my attention to this very likely possibility.

The Feywild was a place of unrestrained and awe-inspiring natural beauty. The plane is always bathed in twilight of the setting (or perhaps rising) sun, with lanterns and fireflies providing additional, haunting lights. Visitors to the plane found that all sensations, both sensory and emotional, were heightened. Smells were stronger, colors were more vivid, and sounds were clearer, but at the same time shadows were darker and impulses were harder to control. x

Feywild is a location in DnD just like Shadowfell (which likely represents the UD).

What better way to represent love and acceptance than a beautiful green realm full of light? I assume that it will resemble the real world, just like the UD. I’m also guessing that Mike and Will will find the remnants of the old Creel house and rebuild it as their own castle/fortress. (Credit to @thestrangestthing89 for this beautiful idea.)

Rewriting History

After WWII, the alliance between the East (USSR) and West (US, England etc) dissolved and then began The Cold War. Leading to Russia and the US essentially becoming enemies. They viewed each other as a major threat to their safety. They also were in major competition with each other, specifically regarding space exploration. Each nation wanting to be the first to reach the Moon.

Germany was a nation that ended up being “split” into the East and West. The Berlin Wall divided the two sections. The song “Heroes” by David Bowie is about lovers separated by the Berlin Wall. In 1989, the wall fell and Germany was no longer divided.

Where am I getting at with this? Well, I believe that Stranger Things is both majorly referencing this conflict, and rewriting history. Let me explain. I think that the scenes with the Russians are representative of Mike’s struggles. He feels as though he has no choice but to conform- not unlike those who live under communism. We see he is slowly escaping this mindset, however, as we watch some of the Russian characters rebel against their government.

Yes that means- the US government represents Will’s struggles. They view El as a monster that needs to be contained/removed. This is exactly how they viewed gay people during the AIDS crisis. We see resistance there as well though… through Owens.

In Stranger Things, the gates are the Berlin Wall. Once they open up again (properly… with Will’s consent), the division between the nations will cease. The war will come to an end.

Instead of one nation “winning” the space race, Stranger Things will end with both “Russia” and “America” reaching a new world together- as Mike and Will.

All you need is love

This is the whole message of the show. So many times we let fear and hatred take over us but we must always remember… we can choose love. In a world full of division, we can choose inclusion. We can choose to extend understanding and patience to others who are different or who may hold differing beliefs. It’s all up to you. You hold the power. It’s your choice. Choose wisely.

[dandylovesturtles]

listen ok I know shit is dire in CAS land (by @somerandomdudelmao) but I had this stupid idea and it's a slow day at work and I type fast so here you go I didn't proofread this at all

I'm sorry I made it silly

Massive spoilers if you haven't read the new CAS update

...

"I can fix it," is a much easier thing to say than to do. Casey's thinking that as he takes long, quick strides through the lair, turning the problem over in his head as fast as he can. He hopes Uncle Tello can't hear the parts of his thoughts that are in a panic, but based on their conversation before he probably can.

Uncle Tello doesn't say anything about it, and Casey kind of wishes he would, just for the reassurance that he's still there.

He's so absorbed in his thoughts he doesn't notice Donnie (the younger Donnie, the physical Donnie) standing in front of him until it's too late and he's already collided with his back. Coffee spills everywhere, though thankfully it only splashes his plastron where he can't get burned.

Younger Donnie whirls, something distinctly murderous in his eye that feels so weird and wrong directed at Casey. It cools only slightly when Donnie processes it wasn't one of his brothers bumping into him, and somehow that feels just as weird, that Donnie has to readjust his feelings to accommodate the unfamiliarity. (He's not family, not to this Donnie.)

"Is something chasing you?" Donnie snaps.

"Uh... no-"

"Is there a fire?"

"No, but-"

"Do you need glasses?"

"I don't... think so?"

"Then watch where you're going!"

He spins on his heel and marches off, toward the kitchen to get more coffee, Casey assumes. For a moment he's left too off kilter and dumbfounded to remember what he was doing.

Then Uncle Tello's voice in his head startles him out of it. What just happened?

Oh, uh... I ran into the other version of you.

Ran into?

Literally. I spilled his coffee.

Ah, and he didn't take it well.

And Casey knows he shouldn't stop for this. Casey knows they may be on limited time and he has to fix this and Uncle Tello shouldn't have to listen to his whining about things that don't matter.

But he's been holding in so many feelings for so long and even if it's just in his head, hearing his uncle's (dad's) voice makes it rush out of him before he can stop it.

I don't think he likes me very much. I touched his shell the other day and he snapped at me. I got mad at him when he touched your tech and that made him mad, too. I don't know how to talk to him.

He doesn't really know how to talk to any of them, is the thing. It used to be the easiest thing in the world, and now it's a wall he hasn't yet learned how to scale.

He can feel his thoughts spiraling against his will. He doesn't have time for this, but the grief and the lack of sleep and the lack of easy affection are all mixing together with the weirdness of it all into a dangerous Molotov cocktail of emotions and he's not sure what will light the fuse.

Casey Jr, says Uncle Tello's voice.

Uncle Tello?

Do you want to see something really funny?

Casey can't help but make a strangled noise at the back of his throat, one that isn't a laugh but isn't a cry either. Something funny?

Yeah. Trust me, it'll be hilarious. Go to my lab.

Casey hesitates. He doesn't let me in there without him...

I feel confident I outrank him. Wait, how old is he?

Sixteen.

Ahhh, that explains it. I know I'm an absolute delight now, but at that age I could be a real pill.

It startles an actual laugh out of Casey. Without arguing further, he rushes to Donnie's lab, quick before he can finish brewing his coffee.

How do I get in?

Is this the subway?

Yeah.

Okay, there's a manual override for the voice lock hidden in one of the wall panels, should be... three to the left, middle of the door. Give that a good knock. Shave and a haircut~

Casey does as directed, and the panel slides back, revealing a flat, glossy keypad.

What's the access code? he asks, feeling like they're on some secret mission now. Maybe it doesn't fall into what people in this time consider normal, but to Casey this is standard stuff. He falls into the rhythm of it like a well loved song.

Oh one one four twenty one twenty seven, says Uncle Tello.

Casey punches it in and the door slides open. He slips inside and hits the button to close and lock the door behind him. Donnie still hasn't returned; the mission is proceeding as planned.

Wasn't that the code for one of the weapons lockers in the old- at base?

Yes, it was. Poor security protocol to reuse codes, I know, but I'm partial to that one.

What is it?

Atomic Lass's birth date. Uncle Tello pauses, then adds, Has he shown you any of the old Atomic Lass episodes of Jupiter Jim?

Uh, no...

Ah, continuing to fail my already low expectations, Teen Tello. Never mind, we'll worry about that later on.

Later on. Right, they shouldn't be doing this, they should be trying to fix Uncle Tello, they should be-

To my computer, Casey Jr! I can't type so you'll have to do it for me.

Uncle Tello's voice pulls him out of his reverie, and he hurries to do as he's told.

Uncle Tello walks him through passwords and then through navigating the OS. It's old and out of date compared to what they had in the future (Donatello's custom OS, better than the hacks at Apple and Microsoft, or so he said), but when Casey had called it old and out of date Donnie had gotten mad about that, too.

Ada Lovelace, this is old, says Uncle Tello's voice now, and incredibly Casey laughs again.

But they find what he's looking for and then input a series of commands into the command line. Casey isn't familiar with all of them, but if he had to guess, they just sent a video from late 2019 to every device in the lair.

Alright, mission accomplished, time to retreat, says Uncle Tello's voice, and he hurries out of the lab, just in time to hear a ping from the phone in his pocket.

He pulls it out and watches the video. It's Donnie, only slightly younger than the teen Casey now lives with, adjusting the camera before grinning and posing in front of it. He's in his lab, though a different one than the one here in the subway. He looks cocky.

He moves further back from the camera so his entire body is framed in its lens, then steps onto a skateboard. He glides in a circle for a moment, then jumps to try and do some kind of trick. Casey doesn't know the name of it, but what he does know is that Donnie's feet get caught in his board, and he ends up tumbling to the floor, crashing in an undignified heap, arms splayed out and face smooshed against the concrete.

It shouldn't be funny.

(It's pretty funny.)

It seems the others echo this sentiment, because suddenly Casey can hear laughter erupting from elsewhere in the lair.

"OMIGOSH! Barry, you gotta watch this!"

"HAHAHAHA BRO ATE SHIT!"

"Hah... Don't worry Donnie, I'm sure you'll get it next ti-hahahahaha!"

There's the sound of scurrying feet, and then Donnie slides into the hall, glaring at Casey who forgot he should be moving away from the crime scene.

"YOU!" he screeches.

Casey freezes. What is he supposed to say? What excuse does he have? The you in my head told me to do it? Yeah right.

Casey does the only sensible thing and turns to run.

Casey Jr?

Uncle Tello!?

What's happening now?

The other you is after me!

Oh. Well. Better run fast.

Casey turns on the speed, sprinting down the corridor and toward the only exit he knows, Donnie hot on his trail.

Why is every younger version of you so scary!?

Oh please, there's no way that scrawny, barely pubescent mess is scary. Have you ever heard his voice crack?

...Well, yeah...

See? Hilarious. And we didn't even have to pull up my browser history.

Okay, but none of this helped us fix anything.

Ah well. One problem at a time.

[bitterbutblue]

himeko angst..

we're scattered pieces in the universe ☆ himeko x reader

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

~ HI GUYS SORRY FOR DYING i was focused on that series but it will not be updated until next week but i wanna keep yall fed so here is a short himeko one shot because i want himeko to have more attention i love himeko so much

song: stardust love song - JIHYO ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

Can we talk?

The three words still send shivers down her spine, despite it being over a year since they were last said to her. It had been over a year since you called her and asked her to talk. It had been over a year since you suddenly started acting different one day. It had been over a year since you left.

She finds herself lost in her thoughts over a cup of coffee. As the express continues its journey upwards, she finds herself spiralling downwards. The song that plays softly over the stereo was a song you once waltzed to with her, and she still sees the sparkle in your eyes as you kissed her hand- soft lips brushing against her silk glove, warmth blooming from her chest as you look back up at her again. She doesn't turn the song off, rather basking in feeling of a dull blade cutting and carving into her heart.

To keep the Astral Express running was already enough, but to have to deal with the aftermaths of losing you was worse. Welt saw Himeko through it all, the days where she couldn't leave her room or even get out of bed. Welt had to watch Himeko pick herself back up from torn pieces, rebuilding herself from a person who loved too much to a person who regretted loving.

"It was my fault."

He remembers the conversation distinctly. A starry galaxy in front of them as he pours her another cup of coffee. The emptiness of what lies ahead of them is daunting, but at the same time the emptiness is fuller than they could've ever imagined.

"It... it was a simple mistake that could've been avoided if I had just talked to her-"

The cup trembled in her tight grip as she takes a shaky breath in.

"Was it my fault?"

Welt mused over that for a while, the two basking in silence.

"I think we all make mistakes." He said softly "We can't grow if we don't."

"I could've kept loving her if I had just-"

"But there's no point in thinking about all that." Welt looked over at Himeko, placing a hand on her knee to stop it from bouncing up and down "It has already unfolded, and you need to take the next steps forwards- not backwards. Going backwards would only make you feel worse."

She put the cup down, unshed tears finally falling but she didn't sob. She just let the tears fall, one by one, as Welt held her hand tightly.

"I don't want to talk, or be friends anymore."

The text message was like taking a dull knife to an already beaten and bruised body, and stabbing it repeatedly until all that's left is a mangled corpse. She broke down in her cabin, loud enough for Welt to hear, loud enough for Dan Heng to grow worried. She tried to send you a text only for it to not go through, and when she refreshed the chat your profile picture was gone.

She pulled herself together after a minute or two, a panging feeling in her chest.

You don't deserve to feel upset about this.

So she holds it in. She refused to let herself cry and she never thought about that evening ever again. But you can't build a puzzle if some of the pieces are still missing- and her missing pieces are still with you. To not process it, she finds herself to be still holding on to you. The guilt that eats her up every time she sees something that reminds her of you, the wave of sadness that briefly washes over her when she wants to show you something because she knows you'd love it only to realise you're simply not there. She still holds onto every trace despite telling herself she's over it.

When she lies in bed next to a stranger, having revealed her most intimate, she still finds herself thinking that stranger is you. She still finds herself believing that the one who she holds in her arms isn't a drunk woman she talked to at a bar, but that it was you. But it would never be. When she wakes up the next day, she sees a stranger and a shadow.

As the song on the stereo comes to an end, she puts the now-empty cup down. She wonders how you're doing still, and she wonders if you hate her for what she did.

But you don't hate her, you never could. Yet you knew you would never talk to her again.

[queer-n-here]

Y'all thank you for your responses! So here is: Large and in charge reader, who's only nice to their on true love: OSAMU DAZAI!

(And yes, as you can see, I voted on my own poll. And yes, I voted for Tanizaki. I'm a simp for him broooooo)

Also, bruv, I dunno why but I got so carried away and this got really angsty. Like... I never do angst. NEVER. Yet here we are. I wonder if I'm okay. Well whatever.

Contents: Dazai getting drunk with reader.

Warnings: No smut, kinda angst, I totally digressed from the original plot line I had planned, and now I want nothing more than to give Osamu Dazai a big fat hug.

Dazai had found himself a new hobby: watching people's reactions as you talked to him.

I mean, most would think, really, how interesting can THAT be? But being the sort of person you were, all mean and menacing at one look but really soft and gentle on the inside, it was rare for you to really hold a conversation without coming off as intimidating. So when people saw you smiling softly at Dazai's jokes, and watching him fondly as he chatted away, they were generally more than surprised.

Dazai remembered distinctly the day you'd met. Fukuzawa had found you fighting solo against three of the Port Mafia's best ability-users, and known with one glance that you were stronger than even you knew. It hadn't taken him long to convince you to join the Armed Detective Agency; with painfully dead parents and a burned down house, you didn't really have anywhere else to go.

You passed their little entrance test, even though after they revealed that it was just an entrance test you couldn't help but be slightly annoyed. All that hard work to try and save that girl only for the whole scenario to be fake. Should've just ignored it.

It had been two years since then. And even though you wouldn't really say it out loud, you were happy that Fukuzawa had taken you under his wing.

How else would you have met Dazai? Or any of the others, who you did secretly like, even though you were unsure about expressing it.

One day, Fukuzawa sent you and Dazai to investigate a letter that the detective agency had received. The sender threatened to blow up the Gundam Factory in Yokohama, which was a popular entertainment place for tourists. Fukuzawa did contact the owner, but since the area covered by the Factory was quite large, and the number of people who were already there was also ginormous, the owner asked for them to investigate the culprit before the bombs could go off.

It was an easy job, and you two had it finished before 3 in the afternoon. All that was left now was some measly paperwork, which you would have to take care of alone because Dazai despised that part of work with a burning passion.

And so Dazai decided to fool around a little.

He took you to a bar, somewhere in a deserted alley in the middle of nowhere, walking with his hands on the back of his head and making nasty comments about everything he could lay his eyes on. You followed silently.

"Say," He yanked open the door of Lupin. "What about you, though? Where do you generally spend after-mission free time?"

Dazai led you into the bar, plopping down on a barstool in front of the counter.

"I sleep," You said, sitting down next to him.

"Huh?" He made a weird face. "That's it?"

A bartender appeared behind the counter.

"Mn," You nodded, looking at the bartender.

Dazai ordered 'his usual', and you decided to have the same as him. It wasn't bad, frankly, sitting there next to him on adjacent barstools and hearing him ramble on about everything and somehow nothing at the same time. He drank and drank and drank and drank, till he was telling you about Ango, about Odasaku and the days they spent together. He drank till his pale cheeks were flushed red, till his neck didn't have the strength to hold his head anymore, till his head was pressed into your chest and his shoulders were shaking with silent sobs.

You stroked the back of Dazai's head. Sober, he was a goof, running around pretending that everything was jokes and comedy. Drunk, he was much more grim, face set firm even as more tears splashed down it, eyes miserable in a way that made your heart ache.

"What's making you sad?" You asked him, desperate to take away at least some part of his sorrow.

But he didn't answer, shaking his head and clenching the fabric of your shirt so desperately it felt like he was hanging on for dear life.

You let him, wrapping your arms around him slowly, pulling him closer. You couldn't do anything but that, and the mere thought of it made you feel like the most useless being on the planet.

You paid for the drinks and heaved Dazai up on your shoulder, letting him stain a different part of your coat with tears as you walked away from the bar.

You took him to the agency dormitory, but once you were in front of his door you couldn't go any further.

"Dazai," You said, your voice gentle as you slowly put him down, and he wobbled on his feet. "Do you have your keys?"

The man couldn't even stand, and had to lean against the door for balance to look up at you. "Hmm..."

He began fumbling through his coat, hands slowly and thick with the weight of the alcohol in his veins. Finally, he produced a key, holding it up and pressing it into your chest. His tears had finally stopped.

You wiped the remnants off his cheek with your thumb. "Let me open the door, hmm?"

Dazai moved to lean against you instead of the door, and you placed an arm around his waist to support him as your free hand opened the door. You led him into the room, sitting him down on the floor near the doorway so you could take off his shoes. When you looked up, however, he had laid back on the floor, glossy eyes staring up at the ceiling.

"Say, [Name]," His voice was thick, his words were slurred. "Some people believe that right and wrong are relative... That there's no black and white... D'you think that's true?"

You looked at him. He was regretful, you could tell. But the fact that you couldn't help him, that you couldn't snatch all that pain away from him and swallow it was enough to make you bodily ache.

"I don't think I have a definite answer for that," You said, wishing you had, wishing you knew how to comfort him. "Why do you ask?"

Dazai's hands rose, clutching at the lapel of your jacket and pulling you closer to his face, making you hover over him on the floor. "D'you think... In a world like ours... We can ever do 'the right thing'?"

You shifted your weight to one hand, raising the other to caress his cheeks softly. "If you try hard enough, yeah. Even if no one's a hundred percent good, ever, if you try hard enough... I think that's all that matters."

"And..." Dazai's brow furrowed, and he looked adorably confused. "How hard is hard enough?"

You couldn't help but think of how, in any other situation, Dazai would've made a sexual pun out of those words.

"Hmm..." You thought of it, wanting to give him an answer that would satiate him. "Your best."

It was a simple answer, and yet Dazai's eyes widened, as if you'd solved the biggest mystery of the universe. "Just that?"

You nodded. "Just that. That's more than enough, Dazai."

And he nodded back, wrapping his heavy arms around your shoulders and pulling you closer, burying his head in your chest again. He fell asleep like that, holding you like a child.

You took him into the room later, taking off his coat and sweater and untucking his shirt before placing him on the futon and covering him with the quilt.

The next day when you saw him at the agency, he was back to his clownery, but something about the way he looked at you had changed.

[phoenixyfriend]

New Fic: Follow Me Out of the Black

AO3 Link

Written for @sourfacedlemon in the 2024 Anakin-Clone Appreciation Exchange.

Fox/Anakin, Time-Travel fix-it, Kidnapping

Also I sent this discord message to a server I'm in

And was confirmed correct because reveals had sourfacedlemon tagging 'called it' lmao.

---------

Fox is not the most… personable of his brothers.

He’s not actively antisocial, or one of those clones who’s more comfortable with massifs than men, even fellow clones. He doesn’t have trouble meeting peoples’ eyes, or get nervous to hold a conversation. He’s not the best at people, but he’s not impeded by anything. He’s not incapable, just unwilling. A grump. Tired and a bit short-tempered.

That was before he spent the better part of a decade with his entire personhood filtered through the control chip that ARC trooperhad tried to warn them all about.

And, of course, before Darth Vader threw him out a window to his not entirely untimely death.

That, dying at Vader’s hand for a stupid reason that maybe would have been worth a demerit under a clone officer, is actually Fox’s last memory. In the moment, he’d thought it almost reasonable; his failure had led to the escape of a Jedi, at least momentarily, and then… who knows. Maybe Vader got her anyway.

He wakes up, and thinks wait, that’s a ridiculous reason to kill a high-ranking officer, and then promptly realizes he can think without something muddling him.

He stares at the ceiling, which does not contain several familiar scratches, and does contain some flimsi holopics taped where he can see them, which he distinctly remembers taking down after Order 66.

Which is an order that now does not make as much sense as it did at the time. Fox wasn’t close to any Jedi, but they were all unfailingly polite, and his brothers in high-ranking field battalions had largely had good things to say. Some of them loved their generals as much as a brother. They wouldn’t have turned as quickly as Fox himself had, and yet.

And yet.

Fox stares at the holopics, thinking about what he knows, about the Sith Lord that is the Emperor, about the Sith Lord that once was—is?—Anakin Skywalker, about how many of his brothers killed their Jedi despite Fox being quite certain they’d have rather died than do so. He thinks about the control chip he’s now fairly certain was an actual mind control device and not just an emotional regulator.

Fox stares, and thinks, and then gets out of bed.

Fox is not personable, and that’s okay.

He’s got other skills to rely on.

--

It takes Fox four hours of planning, six hours of setting traps for Sidious, three days of putting together backups, and two weeks of waiting for Skywalker to be on planet and visit the old bastard himself.

It then takes him thirty seconds to tell Thorn that he’s in charge for a bit, two hours to arrive at the Senate building, and about three minutes to let Skywalker say goodbye to the Chancellor and get out of the man’s sight. It then takes some forty-five seconds to approach him, ask for help with something, and lead the man into a dark service hallway.

Three hours later, Skywalker wakes up in the interrogation room cum holding cell that Fox has set up about thirty levels below CoCo town.

“What’s going on?” Skywalker mumbles. He notices the Force cuffs before he’s fully awake, and jerks a bit as he tugs on them. It pulls him awake faster. “Wh—fierfek, what have you done to me? You can’t be a clone, they—”

“Chancellor’s a Sith Lord.”

Skywalker stares at him. Fox takes off his helmet to show his face, just so Skywalker knows that he is, in fact, a clone.

“…what?” Skywalker manages. “You—”

“Chancellor’s a Sith Lord,” Fox repeats. “I don’t have real proof. You are going to help me get it.”

“The Chancellor,” Skywalker says, slowly, like he’s convinced Fox is the crazy one, “is not a Sith Lord. The Jedi would know.”

“Jedi are busy, and Sidious is a good liar,” Fox dismisses. “You, he likes you. He wants to make you his next apprentice, after he has Dooku taken out. He’ll call you Vader. The armor is going to be stupid.”

Skywalker just stares at him.

“I’m not crazy,” Fox says, even though that does in fact make him sound crazy. “I’m from the future.”

That probably makes him sound crazier.

“The Chancellor is a good man,�� Skywalker says. “I am sure this is all just some… massive misunderstanding, and if you let me go, I’ll get you to the mind healers and we can figure out what put these ideas in your head.”

Fox smiles. The word ‘mirthlessly’ comes to mind. “Nobody put ideas in my head until a Sith Lord activated a mind control chip, and then the idea was ‘kill all Jedi.’”

Skywalker stares at him.

“Including the babies.”

Skywalker keeps staring.

“But you—Vader—did most of the baby-killing, or so I heard. I was busy keeping the better members of the Senate from trying to investigate. Organa was a hard sell.”

“I would not—why would I kill Jedi?”

Oh good, he’s responding. “I don’t know. You joined Sidious for power, or something. Amidala was pregnant when she died, that was all over the news. I wasn’t listening to gossip, because my brain was all work, all the time, because of the mind control, but I guess it could have been yours.”

Fox doesn’t know what Skywalker and Amidala’s relationship is. Could be a one-night stand, for all Fox knows, but he thinks they’re close friends, at least.

“She’s pregnant?” Skywalker asks. He sounds a little broken. Plaintive? Is that the word?

“No,” Fox says. “She’d have gotten pregnant… a few months from now? I don’t know exactly how far along she was, or how natborns progress. She looked pretty big, though.”

Skywalker stares at him some more. Man, the guy’s got eyes like a holostar, or one of those cherubs on the Corellian churches. Fox bets he’d look nice crying.

“All of this hit the fan about a year from now,” Fox tells him. “We have time, but not much. Also, Sidious has a million backup plans, so we need to act fast, and be unpredictable.”

“So you had to kidnap me?” Skywalker demands.

“Of course,” Fox says. “He’d be suspicious if I just started palling around with you, or whatever it is the shinies call it.”

“You are maybe two years older than them,” Skywalker points out.

“More like twelve,” Fox corrects. “But that’s not the point. I also had to get you somewhere I could make sure he wouldn’t be able to spy on us, and where you couldn’t storm out because you were mad that I was telling you you’re destined to be a baby-killer or that your precious Chancellor is a Sith.”

Fox is pretty sure the only reason Skywalker isn’t doing that already is because he’s convinced Fox lost his mind and just needs to come down from the drugs or whatever. Fox can understand; he’d be tossing anyone saying this banthakark into a drunk tank or to the medics, himself. He certainly hadn’t taken that ARC seriously.

“Why me?” Skywalker asks.

Fox shrugs. “It had to be you, obviously. All else aside, getting you in my corner instead of another Jedi gives me an edge, because you are the one Jedi that Palpatine might hesitate to kill. He’s put a lot of time into making Vader happen, even already, and he wants to get you to be his Sith apprentice. That means he wants you alive, and on side, and maybe he'll try to talk you into joining him before going for the kill.”

“I won’t join a Sith.”

“You will,” Fox says, simple as syrup, “given the right pressures, you will. Our goal here is to make it so those pressures don’t come to pass, and that means cutting the head off the snake and sweeping the legs out from under the devil.”

Fox has, perhaps, read a few too many Corellian novels recently. He likes the ones about this ‘hell’ place. Seems cozy.

“If I let you go, will you hear me out?” Fox asks. He’s not planning on actually letting Skywalker go, but he can let the man stand. The cuffs stay on. “I’m going to get this chip removed now, while you’re here, so I have at least some evidence for part of the story. That way you can check it yourself for whatever code dictates the orders.”

“The chip. In your head.”

“I wouldn’t have brain surgery on a whim,” Fox confirms, “so I think it makes for a good proof that I’m not just staging this somehow.”

Skywalker actually gapes this time.

Fox waits.

“Fine,” Skywalker finally says. “I’ll stick around long enough for the brain surgery, and to decode the chip, and then we can… reassess or what have you.”

“Great.”

“Can I at least call Obi-Wan to tell him I won’t be making it to dinner?”

Fox waves a hand. “No, no, I already took care of that.”

The look he gets is almost insulting. It’s almost like Skywalker forgot that Fox is a highly trained military police officer with top-level security codes and the legal right to invade peoples’ privacy.

(Continue on AO3)

[generalgrievoussummerbod]

Another Inktober piece 😃

11 - Snack(s)

Kenabres, 4175 AR. Approximately one day before cultists attack the Defender's Heart.

(Best to click for better image quality, tumblr’s mangling the preview)

My KC, Dornik, distinctly remembers waking up in agony a few days ago and hearing Some Fucking Blond telling everyone to throw their mortally wounded body in an accommodating ditch, so now they're choosing violence~

Might be easier to read the panels individually on mobile, so I've included them along with some ramblings about characters and designs under the cut 😊.

Panels!

I love writing and drawing these characters so much aaaa, they're all DISASTERS and their designs are so fun. Everything about Wenduag's design is just chef's kiss I've never not had fun making art of her! Those eyes! Those adorable cheeks! Those damn spider leggies! She's so expressive and awful I love herrrrr.

Dornik and Daeran are both great for challenging myself. I'm not imagining Wenduag is tiny, Dornik's just a pretty strong orc who's nearly 7ft tall, and learning to capture that built-like-a-mountain vibe is so rewarding. (Because orc. More orc so good yesssss.) This picture is taken seconds before disaster (Dornik in all their 8 wis glory has yet to twig that Wenduag might take their hilarious joke as an endorsement) because what are beloved OCs for if not taking Ls?

With Daeran, one of my favourite things about his portrait is how vaguely unsettling it is, especially with his eyes, and I really want to capture that when I'm drawing him. His unhinged energy is so important to me 😍, and the idea of that rhythm of high energy-sudden stop (the first mask drops, revealing a second, equally beautifully crafted mask which is also but not entirely more true)-high energy dance is what inspired me to make this in the first place. That, and the escalating-curveballs dynamic you can have between him and your Commander 😍 just an absolute pair of menaces 😍.

And Cami's just always a delight to draw, she's trying hard (well. sometimes) to be so proper but underneath there is everything So Wrong With Her (Cami romancers if you're reading this you're strong and fearless and have all my support). There's such a threatening aura to play with and the contrast between her self and the facade she's trying to maintain is marvelous enrichment for the art brain.

[vampykween]

Crazy idea for toxic husband simon? Lets send them to couples counselling >:]

hehe i love this idea! sorry this took so long i pondered over how to write it, but i like how it turned out! these two deserve a brief reprieve from all the angst so enjoy this little glimmer of hope <3

“i still don’t think we need to do this, love” 

“so, you’ve said. can you please just go get the kids ready to leave, im not finished getting ready.” you mentally count down from ten while leaning over the bathroom sink attempting to finish up your makeup. you know by the time you hit ten, simon will have volleyed back some comment you’re in no mood to hear. 

“’s therapy, not a fashion show. dont even get why you’re getting dolled up anyway.” he’s unbelievably predictable. 

you roll your eyes and stare pointedly in his direction. “you know if you’re trying to convince me you still love me, you should try just saying ‘wow babe you look beautiful, of course i’ll get the kids ready’.” simon squints his eyes at you as if he’s actually considering what you’re saying, huffs, and stalks off in the direction of your daughters’ room. 

~ 

maybe your husband(?) was right, this does feel stupid. you two are sitting in a far too stuffy room with plain decorations, on a too-plush couch that makes you sink further with every movement. you don't even realize the therapist is asking you something until simon places a hand on your bouncing knee, stilling it to catch your attention. your heart shouldn’t stutter at the small display of affection, but simon hadn’t touched you in so long the touch melted the icy feelings you had towards him.

the session goes far better than you had expected. you didn’t think simon would open up much, but he was a lot more willing to admit his faults than you figured he’d be. you couldn’t help but stare at him incredulously, where was this man when you two were at home? when you were begging and pleading for help with literally any and everything? a part of you starts to feel bad when simon’s revealing his feelings of depression and worthlessness, not that you’re giving him a pass for the years of transgression, but once upon a time he was your soulmate and your heartbreaks knowing he was in so much pain.

maybe you didn’t see it because you were blinded by rage, or because you were so exhausted day in and day out, you didn’t have time to think of anything other than being a mom. you both come to the realization, with the therapist’s help of course, that you were both so eager to rush into life that you never stopped to consider what that would actually look like. you wanted a baby so badly that even when things started to snowball into madness you two convinced yourselves that this was just the way it was and that it had to be worth it somehow.

as you’re both walking back to the car, you leave feeling a whole lot lighter than when you went in. sure no major hurdles were cleared. you weren’t sure when you’d be able to kiss and love on your husband again without being confronted with everything he wasn’t doing, but you two are going to take it slow and learn to listen to each other. give and take. push and pull. as you slide into the passenger seat, simon tugs gently at one of your hands and interlocks his fingers with yours.

“i know i can’t take back the past, but i’m serious about changing. i want to be better for you, for us, and for our girls.”

you’re not sure what you had expected him to say, but his words have your breath caught in your throat. you distinctly remember a time when he promised he would be good to you, and he failed. you wanted to badly to believe him now, hearing the sincerity in his voice. warring between what the angry part of you wants to say and what the hopeful part of you wants to say, you land on a simple response of “okay”

“okay?”

“yes, okay. i’m not ready to forgive you yet and i don’t know when i ever will be. but i am saying that i will try.” his eyes lock with yours and you can see the emotion brewing in them, he doesn’t offer any words back. he simply squeezes your hand three times in quick succession. i love you. maybe just maybe things will work out this time.

[anilovie]

Anakin taking care of you when you’re sick.

WC: 1.5k

TW: mentions of throwing up but very brief and no descriptions.

You distinctly remember thinking to yourself — “I better not catch whatever this is” — as soon as the third youngling came into the medbay puking all over the place.

You wore gloves, washed your hands, put on a mask, even knocked on wood— yet you still woke up in the early hours of the morning to an excruciating cramping in your stomach, making you curl into yourself and roll around your bed until your dinner worked its way up your system and out into the toilet (that you thankfully reached just in time).

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so lousy. Being a medic, you knew how to take care of yourself and rarely ever got sick. Much less with a bad GI bug, one that kept you in bed and away from your duties without letting anyone know.

It was very unlike you to go radio silent; which is why Ahoksa thought it was strange that you hadn’t met her in the great hall that morning to go on your daily caf run, like you always do before the day truly begins.

She sought you out in your room, where the lights were still off and it smelled of sickness, and you were bundled in your blankets in the midst of a fitful sleep.

Too weak to get up, you croaked that you didn’t think you could get caf with her today, to which she was completely understanding of. She let you be, cracking a window open on the way out to let fresh air in.

Then promptly went straight to Anakin.

You stirred to the sound of the door opening not even an hour later, lifting your head enough to catch sight of a tall, familiar silhouette equipped with leather tabards, thick utility belt, and lightsaber hanging off the left hip. Something twisted in your stomach, a ball of nervousness rising in you as you realized Anakin had come to see you… alone.

You let your head fall back to the pillows, closing your eyes at the uncomfortable aching in your stomach. You felt the bed dip by your feet as Anakin perched on the edge, metal hand coming up to rest on your shoulder comfortingly.

“Not feeling so good, huh?” He spoke in a hushed voice, rasping in the low register. Despite the pain in your tummy, you preened at his proximity and innocent touch. You’d had the biggest crush on Anakin for quite some time now, but he didn’t know that.

You let out a disgruntled “Mmm” and curled in on yourself further, overtaken by a wave of nausea. Thankfully, you’d forced yourself into a shower after your third round of puking, which was somewhere between midnight and dawn. You were clean, but you’d also slept on wet hair, so you looked all messy.

“Ahsoka said you’ve been getting sick?” He tried to get some words out of you, thumb rubbing soothingly across your arm.

“‘Think I picked something up from the younglings,” you mumbled, face still half buried in your blankets. “You might not want to get too close.”

“How many times have you been sick?” He completely ignored your request.

You thought for a moment. “Three or four times. Haven’t had to in a couple hours though, so I think I’m getting better…”

“Show me where it hurts.”

He wasn’t asking, but his tone was so soft you couldn’t deny him. Plus, he’d come here for you.

You shifted around in bed, rolling onto your back so that you were now looking up at him, surrounded in a cocoon of blankets. You pushed them down to reveal your tummy, clad in your softest and warmest sweater.

“Just my stomach,” you refused to meet his eyes. “But it’s not so bad anymore. Just feel… icky.”

“Hm,” he hummed, eyes flicking up to your face before landing on the hands covering your stomach. You never forgot how handsome he was, but it still shocked you like a slap in the face whenever you were met with him head-on like this. Paired with that soft, raspy voice, the obvious concern in his eyes, and the fact that he’d come just for you— you wanted to melt into a puddle.

“Can I try something?” He spoke, and you lifted your gaze to his face warily. You trusted him, so you nodded your head.

He brought his hand — the flesh one this time— across your body and let it rest on your tummy gently. Just the one hand almost spanned your whole abdomen. You immediately squirmed your hips back, not expecting him to have touched you so brazenly. You and Anakin were friends… but you had yet to cross a line like this before.

You let his hand rest there, hoping he didn’t notice how squishy and bloated you were right now, and if he did, that he didn’t mind. Your hands were curled into fists, tucked under your chin as you peered down at his gentle touch on your tummy curiously, wondering what he was doing.

“Just like this,” he assured you when he saw your alarmed face. “How’s this feel?”

You focused on your stomach again, expecting to be met with that gross nauseous feeling that had been plaguing you for hours. It was still there, but now it was… dull. Muted, like he’d snuffed out the discomfort with a blanket.

Unable to help yourself, you brought your hands down to his, one hand closing over his wrist and the other fitting atop his outstretched hand, keeping him just where he was. “Feels better, Ani,” you sniffed, eyes fluttering closed as warmth from his touch seeped into your aching tummy, soothing it all away.

The corner of his lips pulled up slightly, but he didn’t say anything. Just kept the gentle pressure over your stomach with a little look of concentration on his face. Realizing he wasn’t going anywhere, you let yourself fully relax back into your blankets.

He thought you looked so cute — and slightly pathetic — at the way you melted back into the bed. Cheeks flushed with sickness, hair all messy, oversized sweater falling off your shoulder and over the hands grabbing at his own… he’d stay with you all day if he could. But alas, he had duties to attend to.

“This should last for about half an hour,” he spoke gently after a while. You groggily opened your eyes and frowned as he pulled his hand away, shivering at the loss of warmth and contact.

“Mkay,” you couldn’t keep the whine out of your voice, though you were too proud to complain. “Thanks, Anakin. Doesn’t hurt so much anymore.”

“Good,” he cooed, this time with a full smile. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, eyes probing into your face as he scanned you over. “Have you eaten anything today?”

“Can’t. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep it down.”

“What about something bland… like toast?”

“Mmm,” you crinkled your nose up at the thought, gloriously subdued nausea making it easier to relent. “Alright. But only with a little bit of butter, not a lot.”

“Got it,” that strand of hair seemed to capture his attention, because he kept running it through his fingers, his touch tickling your cheek. “And some tea?”

“Sure,” you squeezed out a grateful, sheepish smile. “With honey, please. Thank you.”

“‘Course,” Anakin leaned over, planting a quick kiss to your forehead. Your skin tingled where his soft lips made contact, eyes blown wide at the sweet action. “Coming right up.”

He left like he’d done nothing at all. Meanwhile, you were lifting your hand to trace your fingertips over the spot he’d just kissed, the phantom touch of his lips still lingering.

You huffed lightly, flustered, and turned onto your side to curl back into a ball. You buried your lovesick smile into your pillows, clutching your favorite stuffie to your chest as you listened to the distant sounds of Anakin clinking around in your kitchen.

It didn’t take long, but you’d still fallen half-asleep again by the time he returned. With the pain in your stomach temporarily dulled and the exhaustion weighing on you from your sleepless night, it was easy to pass out again. Anakin woke you with another gentle touch to your shoulder.

“I’ll leave it here for you when you’re ready to eat something,” his tone dropped to a whisper, not wanting to disturb you anymore. “Get some rest, okay? I’ll be back to check on you tonight.”

Your whole body filled with warmth at his words, from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. You nodded and blinked open your eyes, blearily regarding him from your blanket cocoon.

“Thank you, Ani,” you slurred sleepily, shivering as he let his flesh hand cup your cheek in an affectionate touch. He was just taking care of you. It didn’t mean what you wanted it to… but it was nice to pretend. “Have a good day. Be safe.”

He just huffed out a silent laugh and withdrew his hand. You were still smiling when you heard his bootsteps recede and your door close. You allowed yourself to fall back into a blissful slumber, head fuzzy with the remnants of his simple touches, clinging to the fact that he would be back later to see you.

[creatingblackcharacters]

solas complete context: solas is a trickster god known as the "Dread Wolf" that was said to have imprisoned all the elven gods, good and bad, for killing mythal (who was seen as the benevolent mother goddess). it was revealed in dragon age inquisition that he was a rebellion god that freed the enslaved elves from the "good" elven gods, and eventually imprisoned the corrupted "good" elven gods. in game, he betrays the player and is revealed to have set in motion the events of dragon age inquisiton

iirc, I can't find the source for it since it was like 8 or so years ago (also not justifying the choices), but I vaguely remember reading that his design was changed because he would have been the first and only Black male companion (to date when dai was released, not including davrin) and ended up the main antagonist. people have also pointed out the elves in dragon age are based off of indigenous groups (nothing specific like indigenous American, another form of bad worldbuilding in the game, it is very very generic) and somewhat the Romani (the elves live in traveling caravans that people have pointed out are similar to Romani wagons). in the original concept art, solas did have distinctly more indigenous features and (again, not justifying making him a bald white man) I can kind of see where making the trickster god that betrays you at the end of the game have very distinctly indigenous features could be perceived as being racist. especially since he would have been the only companion to have indigenous features.

again. not justifying the actions or the complete change of solas' concept art. dragon age worldbuilding is a hot mess shit show when it comes to fantasy racism, and the fandom is even worse. we have amazing fan artists, but the fandom is one of the most vile and racist fandoms I have honestly ever been in.

So if I'm understanding you correctly. They said "let's leave the world building racist but make the antagonist white so no one will notice". Which... 😐 it's weird bc it means that someone had some awareness but then somehow not enough to not do the rest of that. Because that's wild that it was already bad and then THAT'S where they drew the line lmao. QA really said "yeah! So progressive!" 🤣🤣 That's so hilariously bad, and not surprising because we see that sort of behavior often in fan spaces. It's natural professionals succumb to it.

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Survivor request is 'Echo' for @animatedjen

Master Cordova joins Cal in the stacks of holobooks, the elder Jedi radiating such a sense of peace and belonging Cal can’t decide if he wants to ask how he does it or run away and hide in shame.

He takes the secret third option and simply says, “Hi.”

“Hello, my friend,” Master Cordova says. “I take it you are finding plenty to occupy your mind.”

BD laughs louder than Cal, and he dodges Cal’s half-hearted swat, leaping onto Master Cordova’s shoulders for cover. “Plenty, thank you,” Cal says.

BD does a jig and tells Master Cordova Cal wouldn’t know how to not occupy his mind even if his life depended on it.

“Well then, perhaps I can pick your mind for a while.”

“Sure, although I’m not sure there’s much I can tell you that you don’t already know. Unless it’s about Venator deconstruction. There’s a good chance I know more about that than most people.”

“If it’s alright with you, I wonder if I might make use of your psychometry.” Master Cordova holds up his hands. “Please, do tell me if I am stepping out of line. You owe me nothing, and I do not wish for you to feel like a performing bogling.”

Hearing Cal being compared to a bogling is apparently the funniest thing BD has ever heard, and he cackles so much he almost falls from his perch. Cal shakes his head, promises Master Cordova it’s fine, and follows him to a small chamber off to the side of the main archive. Inside, a small collection of artifacts awaits them. An Anchorite bows, wishes them both a good day in a melodic voice, and slips out to leave the three of them alone. Master Cordova shows him what appear to be Zeffo artifacts – Cal recognises the art style and the script. While BD scans, Cal runs his hand over them, echoes singing as they always do. Those on the surface belong to Master Cordova and shimmer with the excitement of discovery. Diving deeper, Cal reaches further into the past. There, deeper down, the original carver’s emotions. Pride at being asked to create an image of the Sage Eilram, the Life Wind guiding mind and hands to create perfection. Cal reports his findings to Master Cordova. “Sorry, nothing to say where the Zeffo went.”

Master Cordova shakes his head. “I expected nothing of the kind. Now, may I ask for one more?” This time, the artifact he reveals is distinctly Jedi in origin.

A lightsaber hilt. Its ostentatiously curved hilt and intricate carvings suggest it is a relic of a bygone age, even more bygone than the one Cal grew up in. Lightsabers were sleek, functional from what he remembers. This? This is art. Curious, Cal touches it.

She raises her weapon, a final salute to her enemy, to her Padawan, to the Force, to the Jedi Order who went to such pains to train her. The Sith are coming, and she cannot allow them to pass. Deep breath. Release your fear. The Force is your ally, you are a conduit. She ignites a brilliant blue blade and swings into battle and – 

His master is gone. Dead. Not even a body left to cremate. She took many of the Sith out with her, their bodies scattered where only her robes remained. He opens the lightsaber piece by piece and takes the crystal nestled within. Reconstructing it, he places it in its final resting place with all the other weapons of the honoured dead.

Cal opens his eyes. Master Cordova watches intently. Embarrassed to be the focus of such focused attention, Cal hands over the lightsaber hilt and shares its story. “Where did you find it?”

“In an ancient temple, one so old even my old friend Jocasta Nu knew little about it,” Master Cordova explains. “I found it in a small nook. There were many such nooks in the wall, but this was the only lightsaber that remained. Cal, the wars with the Sith are ancient. The echo remains that powerful?”

“Yes.”

Master Cordova seems delighted. “What a wonder it is to know that we truly do become part of the Force, immutable within it.”

“I’m sorry you can’t perceive it the way I can,” Cal says.

“Oh, my friend, there is no need to apologise! Just hearing about these few things is enough for me.”

A subtle, no, evil laugh emanates from a certain droid. Master Cordova could ask Cal to find more echoes in the room. In fact, Cal would love to do so, wouldn’t you, Cal?

Cal shrugs. “I don’t mind.”

Master Cordova lights up.

It’s Cere who comes to rescue Cal hours later. She suggests they all go for lunch, and subtly pulls Cal aside while Master Cordova and BD go on ahead. “Here.” She slips a pair of pills into his hand. “You don’t have a migraine, do you?”

He takes the pills, swallowing them dry. “Nah, just a headache,” he says honestly. “Takes a lot more these days to trigger anything more serious.”

She stares at him. He shrugs. “It’s been a while, Cere.”

“Too long,” she says, her hand squeezing his.

[austerity-audacity-asceticism]

Degrees of Prayer, according to St. Teresa of Avila

Teresa of Ávila, OCD was a Carmelite nun and prominent Spanish mystic and religious reformer. Sh was born in 1515 at the brink of the Reformation in Ávila, Spain. The first female Doctor of the Church, she has had a significant impact on how we currently understand contemplative prayer, what it means to have a personal relationship with God, and how we can continue the spiritual practices of monastic life even though we work and live in a secular society.

Her writings demonstrate not only rigorous discipline and contemplative prayer, but also a dry wit. She should also be the patron saint of the audacity, because I remember distinctly reading the Interior Castle for the first time and coming across her writing to her fellow Carmelites, "From silly devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord, deliver us!"

We celebrate her feast day today, October 15. In honor of the first female doctor of the Church, this is a brief rundown of St. Teresa's Degrees of Prayer, with explanations that are not meant to be exhaustive, but to encourage you to read more of her writings, as I pale in comparison to the lucidity of her writing.

Meditation: Drawing Water from the Well

According to St. Teresa, this degree consists of prayer through active meditation. This requires focused effort and withdrawing from the world for a bit, so that we may not be distracted by the concerns and anxieties that plague our minds on a day to day basis. These beginners should aim to be be happy and free and confident. They should attempt great things in the pursuit of active meditation.

Reference: the Life of Teresa of Jesus, chapter 11 and chapter 12 and chapter 13

2. The Prayer of Quiet: The Waterwheel

After a soul has become accustomed to active meditation, St. Teresa encourages moving towards the prayer of quiet. She writes, "Here the soul begins to be recollected and comes upon something supernatural because in no way can it acquire this prayer through any efforts it may make." The fruits of this degree is the movement of the soul away from earthly delights, and into a sense of peace. The efforts of prayer ease, while the activity does not. This degree of prayer reveals grace to us more clearly, and fills us with a deep inner satisfaction. When a soul experiences the Prayer of Quiet, it seems that no greater blessing is possible. Because of this, while many people are given to the prayer of quiet, few people think to go beyond it.

Reference: the Life of Teresa of Jesus, chapter 14 and chapter 15

3. Union: Water Flowing from a Stream

In this stage of prayer, St. Teresa reflects that it now seems that its fruits are all a product of God's work, while one's faculties seem to be asleep. The stream of divine water flows freely into the garden of one's soul; this may happy whether one is in a state of contemplation, or active charity. The inner work and relationship of prayer seems to be continuing beneath the conscious surface. One's faculties fall asleep, and the soul becomes absorbed in union.

Reference: the Life of Teresa of Jesus, chapter 16 and chapter 17

4. Rapture: Heavenly Rain

St. Teresa describes this degree as the prayer of union, using the image of "heavenly rain that saturates the whole garden in abundance." She writes these experiences as short-lived and scarce, but the goodness received as incomprehensible. St. Teresa had other words for this degree: elevation, flight of the spirit, transport, ecstasy.

Reference: the Life of Teresa of Jesus, chapter 18 and chapter 19 and chapter 20 and chapter 21

"My chief aim is to cause souls to covet so sublime a blessing." - St. Teresa of Avila

St. Teresa of Jesus, pray for us.

Links to additional resources:

St. Teresa of Ávila – Who St. Teresa of Ávila Was, Her Feast Day, Carmelite Spirituality, Prayers & Quotes

Four stages of Mystical Prayer in Teresa of Avila

Summary of the Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila

St. Teresa of Avila - The Life of by Herself

The Interior Castle or The Mansions

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for writing a paragraph on how I want to drop my friends?

(15F for ref, everyone in here is also F and around the same age)

In 2022, I returned from a six-week camp session with friends I only see once a year (pretty shitty experience ngl, but I still had fun), A couple days later, they accused me of stealing this girl's shirt since I was the last one to wear it. I told her I didn't and I wouldn't. I had a similar steal it because. They proceed to accuse me, so to get out my feelings I write this lengthy paragraph in my notes app expressing my thoughts and what I don't like about the group. This never gets sent out, and we stay friends.

In 2023, they went to camp again (for the last eligible year so it was very special to them), but I stayed home due to pre-existing commitments. This was also the time when the notes app trend was going on, a.k .a. where people would post their notes app and all the antics they wrote. I also posted a video like this, and on the sixth slide, I put the paragraph that I wrote in 2022 (it said 2022 at the top). They didn't immediately see this because they weren't allowed to have their phones, but I private the video before they got back due to a mental health issue I had accidentally aired out. At this time, I saw nothing wrong with the paragraph being included because all the issues had blown over.

A couple months later, I un-privated the video because YOLO and the group found it and immediately got hated on so hard for the video. They post pictures of me to social media stories write paragraphs about how awful of a person I am, create lies about me, and comment on all of my Tiktok posts where I talk about the issue, despite me being vague.

I don't know where I stand in this issue because yeah, I didn't go to the trip this year, and the paragraph was admittedly rude, but they didn't even give me a chance to explain, and getting body shamed on a private Snapchat story when they know I had an ED isn't something i think I deserve, but I need outsider perspective.

The paragraph for reference:

I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore. The whole entire time I was at camp I felt isolated because I was not as involved and as social with the boys as you guys were/are, and that might not be your fault, but you guys have no care in that being the only thing you discuss on this group chat. Every time I text about something else, it always gets pushed to the side and now you are accusing me of stealing (name)’s top. I agree, I was the last on to wear it, but distinctly remember throwing it back into (name)'s trunk. I am sorry it did not make the trip back home, but it is not my fault. I don’t want your slutty top anyways, I only borrowed it because my ebb to street wasn’t going to work. I have done so much for you guys, like letting everyone borrow my clothes, giving away my lululemon, and while some of my pieces were stolen, I am not pointing fingers at random people because I have control of my feelings. So many words have been wasted protecting the reputation of Cabin 10 from others who think you guys are attention-seeking whores (you want names? It’s the whole fucking camp), and everyone looked at me in pity when I cried into my hands because I was so sad. I have heard you guys talk shit about me in front of my face (*giggling and whispering* Are you going to try out for the play? No that’s weird. Both heads turn towards me, and laughter erupts out of the two mouths. You know who you are), and you guys have talked shit about each other to me, so I can only imagine what has been said about me. I felt ashamed about my passions, the only personality trait you guys addressed was that I was so mean and I was smart (you only revealed the latter on in private, the former was told to everyone). I am done feeling horrible about myself because you guys are so wrapped up in what every (camp) boy thinks of you, so I am cutting contact. You have ruined my camp experience to the point where I am not coming back.

What are these acronyms?

[idontknowreallywhy]

Another commute day, another hour or so of writing anything other than what I intended to when I sat down…

Instead of the evasive Christmas fic, I got lonely Jeff vibes (triggered by the screenshot @theinfjsilhouette posted) and on the way to writing the little scene I actually meant to get down I clearly got snackish or something because the below happened…

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

It had only taken a few more days to hack the system behind the control system. And there he found the design schematics, the construction records, the chat logs of the team, both the engineers and those on the ground, actually building the ship. They kept him entertained for a few hours and revealed some key information such as the ‘easter eggs’ secreted in unlikely places for the future crew to find.

His favourite of these had been the actual Easter eggs - a huge stash of chocolate mini eggs located in a cavity between the oxygen recycling unit and an internal door mechanism. One giant bag for each of the intended twelve crew. After binging four bags of them and nauseously wishing he had had a responsible adult around to stop him, Jeff made the decision to save the remainder for Easter. Just in case he was still here then.

When Easter came, the confection was almost painfully sweet. The stark contrast with the algae, fungus and watercress-based diet he had become accustomed to made his eyes sting and he had to spit it into his hand before gently breaking it apart and eating a tiny piece at a time. He ate one a day, letting the fragments melt on his tongue and picturing the grinning, chocolate-smeared faces of his boys bouncing all over the furniture. The way tiny Alan’s eyes had widened as he’d had his first taste… he’d turn out a sugar fiend the same as his biggest brother, no doubt. Jeff would smile as he remembered Lucy trying not to giggle as she ticked said eldest off for trying to cram an entire goose egg’s worth of chocolate in his mouth at once, doubtless to impress the younger brothers. Scott had only smiled at her cheekily, his cheeks bulging and chocolatey drool running down his chin. She’d caught a little with her thumb and smeared it on the tip of the teenager’s nose to a muffled but distinctly outraged “Moooooom!”

Jeff’s snort hadn’t gone unpunished though as she’d leaned over and done the same to her husband. Who had sent Gordon into high pitched hysterics by repeatedly trying and failing to lick it off his own nose.

When that bag was gone he saved the other seven for next Easter. Just in case. Each year he opened another - to remember, to mourn, to celebrate his continued existence… to be a part of what might be going on at home.

This year he’d eaten the last bag. They’d been a long way past their expiry date but in many respects so was he. The sugar shells were soft, the milk in the chocolate had separated and given it a cloudy sheen but what the hell. He was morbidly certain he wouldn’t be here next Easter, one way or another. His rock was getting smaller by the day.

He ate the last tiny egg so slowly the chocolate started to melt in his palm. He started to lick it off and then paused, and ran his opposite thumb through the molten mess. He looked at it a while before closing his eyes and smearing some on the tip of his own nose.

He stuck out his tongue, which was still too short to reach his nose and huffed a laugh.

He glanced over at the small mirror over the console and rubbed the moisture from his eyes.

Not long now, my love.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍