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tony-veis · 2 years ago

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

Thank you for marking me, I enjoyed reading all the answers to this list so much! @kestrelteens @kayleigh-83

Are you named after anyone? My parents only called me that because it wasn't a popular name in the 90s

When was the last time you cried? In February, when my friend left. In fact, I cry very rarely because I have problems with experiencing deep emotions. When I really cried, it was probably February\March of last year. For obvious reasons.

Do you have kids? No, but I'd like to one day. I feel too young to have children yet

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not very. Usually it annoys me if I think that the interlocutor is saying something stupid and then I use sarcasm. Otherwise, I rather prefer to talk directly about my irritability.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Clothing and accessories. One day when I was approaching the place of the date, I thought, "Oh my God, I hope it's not him in that ugly hat"

Eye colour? I just found out it's called Hazel. Most of my friends think that I have brown eyes, but in fact it's just dark green. I myself thought for a long time that I had brown eyes, until I found out that this was impossible for genetic reasons in biology class. Lol.

Scary movies or happy endings? In fact, I really don't like horror movies, as I am extremely nervous, but paradoxically I like Stephen King horror books, I also like to watch reviews of scary games, and at one time I also read a lot of SCP. And some of my favorites are La Favorite and Spencer. But I also like TV series, for example, Sexual Education, The Handmaid's Tale, Euphoria And a lot of animated series

Any special talents? I can push my shoulder out of the joint and move my eye asymmetrically (but this is very dangerous because it occurs due to excessive blood pressure in the eyes and head). Also, I'm never late even if I'm late. For some reason, it always happens that I come before everyone else.

Where were you born? Russia, in a small provincial town of Samara. (A million and a half is a small town?) This city used to be a pirate bay, then a fortress, then a merchant hub on the Silk Road, and therefore the city center is located near the Volga River and a beautiful long beach is a 5-minute walk away. Sometimes I think it looks like Miami, but with beautiful wooden architecture of the XIX century

What are your hobbies? My hobby is art and it encompasses too many areas ranging from crafts and Craft and Art, and ending with the study of the latest fields of art. My professional activity is contemporary art, but I also draw, knit, embroider, sculpt, 3D model and much more. Now I'm finishing sewing another blanket, until recently I completely made my room, I redid some furniture, I really like to change spaces. I also like baking and now I have my own garden and I love messing with plants so much! But I don't perceive it as gardening, for me it's performative practices. And of course I really love sims and now I play sims 4 too much. A very important addition, I completely forgot to write about the TAROT. I started studying tarot since Halloween, but in general I have always been engaged in magical practices

Do you have any pets? No, I like to communicate with animals and I've always wanted to get a cat, but now I understand that this is a very big responsibility

How tall are you? 182 cm, quite tall and thin

Fave subject in school? I never liked school, but I liked Social Studies, Biology, World Culture and Art. At the university it was Art History, Psychology and Painting

Dream job? Don't work. I burned out a lot after working at the museum and could not start a new job for 5 months. I would just like to please you with Sims content and get enough money for a living from it. Now I work remotely and I am most comfortable that now I can wake up, take a laptop and, lying in bed, perform work tasks without communicating with people. Sometimes I feel so bad that it turned out to be the optimal format for me, so as not to overexert myself. I would like to tag all the English-speaking bloggers I subscribe to, so feel free to tag me. @lowedeus @greatcheesecakepersona @jellymeduza @alexbgd @lamare-sims

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gimm3storie5 · 5 months ago

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Child dealing with loss of imaginary car friend

Child perspective

Beconthony was my best friend. As long as I could remember what a car looked like. She was a slim car painted green, blue and orange ish-red. Dark purple flames and yellow bolts decorated the body. For speed, rocket boosters were added along with a really cool shark fin. Everytime I was sad, she was doing donuts and speeding around. Sometimes she did trick shots and would burn the tires out to be cooler. She was great. When in school Beconthony would speed around the legs of everyone and everything. It was so cool and much more enjoyable to watch than the teacher. Mom and Dad would whisper about Beconthony and how it wasn’t normal. This would lead her to going on more adventures, trying to make me feel better. Eventually they would make me go to a lady in a white room. It was scary, but the lady wanted me to talk about Beconthony and all her adventures she went on. I would tell her as Beconthony redid all of them on the ground behind the lady. Everytime, she would hum and scribble down things in a notebook. Somedays I miss Beconthony cause she disappears. That’s when I cry ‘cause my best friend is gone.

In the office, she was going on a loop when she crashed into the base, shattering into a million pieces. I stopped breathing. Slowly all the pieces were gone along with the course she was completing. The lady looked satisfied by my face. I felt numb and there was nothing to do. Father came to get me and everything was different. Colors weren’t as exciting, people were louder, my infinite amount of stories slowly bled away. They grew worried when I became more reserved. Not that it was my fault. They did this, but I made it through with my drawings I had made previously. I never forgot the day my world shifted. It was a tragedy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Car perspective

Lilly was the best friend I had ever had. She was always dreaming up things we could do together. I’d never met anyone so imaginative till her. So many other cars were plain looking and named after her favorite people. I raced and beat all of them. It was due to my cool design. I was decked out in rocket boosters, pinkish purple wheels, slim body for extra speed, spikes on the rims to stop competition, and a cool shark fin on top. My paint job was green in the back. My middle was painted a blue, with my front being an orange ish-red. Dark purple flames and yellow lightning bolts decorated all over. People would always congratulate the drawing she made of me. I couldn’t be happier with her. Lilly was cool at school with many friends.

Lilly’s parents weren’t as fond of me as everyone else. This made her very sad. So I would do stunts to try making her feel better. I would hear her parents say “how it wasn’t normal for a little girl her age to have an imaginary friend, much less a car.” I’m not really sure what they were talking about though cause I’m quite real and Lilly would not just forget about me. Plus, I’ve been with Lilly since she first learned what a car was! Cheering Lilly backup was always the main priority after these conversations.

After a while we would travel to these scary places with sterile white walls every week. Sometimes there would be a nice lady who listened to Lilly tell stories about our adventures. Listening to those were the best! As she was telling them , the place would transform and I would recreate the adventure for her. The lady would hum and write something in her little book she always had. Then father would come back and take us back home. It was quite fun till the lady made her cry. This was only a few times, but I still tried to cheer her up everytime. I lost count of how many times we went, but the longer we went the harder it was to see Lilly. One day in the room I was doing a loop stunt, when my vision went dark. When I could see again, Lilly wasn’t there. There was a being who scooped me up and took me away. Placing my infront of a track with many of the obstacles I had completed with her. Many of the old friends I had were racing on it. My memory is getting fuzzy though.. What was I talking about? Must not be that important than.. Racing time! I’m the best racer there is around!

The End

Short Write

Famous ballerina who wants to be a rapper

Her parents forced her into ballet when she was the ripe age of three. Natural talent for the leaps and bounds only ballerinas could dream to do.Everyday Monday to Thursday, preschool through highschool. The family was proud when she was approached for a scholarship by many schools. She was never shown what schools were interested, of course, her mother took all the school’s sheets and took to doing the research without her input. This was not unusual, for this had been happening for her whole life. Her mother never let her pick anything that wasn’t “what the family needs”. All outside activities were spent practicing different aspects of performance pieces. Not just playing like a kid should. She spent all the other time studying and exercising to help with the routines. She was only allowed to play chess as an after school activity since it didn’t conflict. Everything revolved around ballet.

Her mother chose Alma College as her next school. She was put into an audition for the scholarship. Succeeding, she earned a full ride. Everyone was excited for her bright future. So was she for a while. Wasn’t till she turned twenty-three that it finally hit her. She didn’t really know what else she liked. All there was was ballet. Sports were never really an option and she didn’t have much time for other arts since she was always training. As she was mulling this over in her sixth make-up chair that month. On the screen near her was a rapper’s video playing, subtitles on screen with low sound. It was harder to make out due to the noise around her, but it was still audible. The fast paced lyrics and upbeat tempos were much different than the slow, wordless songs of her dance music.

Once back home, she grabbed a notebook and pencil, jotting down some lines she was thinking might be good lyrics. She’d gotten about twenty down before her mother had told her it was time to practice before dinner. All during, she thought about more lines. More were written down before she fell into a slumber. The next morning before eating she started trying to make them all flow together. Within about twenty minutes she had them to her liking. During the following month she continued to add to this song till it was satisfactory.

Never till now had she wished for her to live separately from her parents. She knew it was different to still be living with them at twenty-three, but they had wanted to keep her on the strict schedule and the house was surprisingly close to school. She desperately wanted to test out her song, but didn’t want her parents to ask about it. Unfortunately they don’t tend to leave the house without her. She was too precise a prize to not gloat about. Plus they always got great press for “raising such an exceptional dancer! Her beauty and grace would be nothing without her parents to help her through it all”.

Thankfully there was a weekend her parents went out for a friend's funeral. She was able to record her first song. So much joy was surrounding her that it took six tries to get it fully recorded properly. She posted it on her page. Not a big follower count so nothing to really worry about. It was just where she posted videos from competitions to show different performances. If anyone checked the account the video would definitely stand out, but it was just for fun anyway. Putting away her stuff, she got working on her skills, calling a friend she hadn’t talked to in a while to pass the time more easily. When the day was starting to wrap up she checked her email for the newest videos to upload. Logging back onto her account, she was bombarded with comments, likes and reposts from her previous video. “Wow ballet and rapping! Amazing 👏 ” “Ur voice us beatiful! ❤️” “Sick bars” “Are you a rapper full time? Cause Damnnn🔥” There was such an overwhelming amount of support and positive remarks, she forgot about posting the new videos. Wasn’t till she did that she saw the follower count had jumped exponentially.

Quietly she sat down with her notebook to write more down. It had been the first time in a while where something felt like it was only hers. Over the next few months, she would release new songs whenever she could. Her fan base was growing the farther the videos were getting spread and the more people commented. This led to some important people seeing them. Within the next few years she was presented with different deals. Some refused due to conflict in schedule and having to meet in person. Others were taken as little side deals to keep bringing in money. Along with the growing popularity in rapping, her ballet popularity was also growing.

Only at thirty-five did she inform her parents on the side gig she was doing. Her mother was less pleased, but her father was overjoyed since he was also into music. Her father convinced her mother it was good since ballet would probably die out soon anyway. Plus she was still famous for both. Finally her mother relented and was happy enough to walk her around for two reasons. Eventually she found other hobbies, but never gave up ballet or her pride and joy of rapping.

The End

#short story #Little write #random prompt #Writing

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charminggirl512 · 2 years ago

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scars // chibs telford x oc

Chibs Telford x F!OC (Ellie Drysdale/Telford)

Warnings: 18+, language, violence, drugging, mentions of and attempted sexual assault/rape, alcohol

Word Count: 2,505

Jax and Opie both jump when I slam their beer bottles down on the bar in front of them. I was annoyed and didn't want to put in the effort it takes to hide it. They look at each other and silently communicate with their eyes, obviously trying to figure out which one of them would ask me what was wrong. Opie loses and chugs half of his beer before turning towards me.

"Ellie, everything okay?"

"No, Opie, everything is not okay. I spent hours getting ready. I made sure that my curls look perfect, I redid my makeup three times, and consulted three different people about which short black dress to wear with my new shoes and he doesn't even look at me! He's over there talking to some croweater about her fake tits and shitty personality," I whisper-yell at him. They both look a little terrified at my rant but take a second to collect themselves before continuing their line of questioning.

"Um, who exactly are you talking about," Jax asks tentatively.

"Chibs, obviously. Nothing works to get his attention. Nothing! I prance around here practically naked and make him drinks and I just get a 'thank you, lass.' My gross uncle flirted with me more!"

"Have you talked to him about how you feel? That works sometimes," Opie asks and flinches when I glare at him for his stupid question.

"Of course, I haven't, Opie. I'm a woman, not an idiot. Stupid fucking men," I mutter under my breath and turn to make myself a Jameson and ginger ale with significantly more Jameson than ginger. The boys take the opportunity to scurry away from my anger and I think about feeling bad before quickly dismissing the idea.

"Excuse me, darling, can I get a drink?" I turn at the sound of an unfamiliar voice to find a visitor from another charter. He's tall and slightly attractive, but not old enough for my tastes. I like my men with a little gray and experience in the bedroom.

"What can I get you, sweetheart," I ask as I lean against the counter, ensuring that my tits are on display. I usually get more tips that way and I will never turn down some extra cash.

"A Jack and Coke with your number on the side," He flirts, attempting to be smooth but failing miserably.

"I can give you that Jack and Coke but I'm afraid that I don't know my phone number. What a shame," I reply before turning to make his drink. After I hand it to him, he walks away quickly and avoids making eye contact with me. Some men just can't handle rejection.

"Ellie girl, get your fine ass over here," Jax yells from where he and Opie are sitting on the couches. Chibs' head pops up at that, but I pretend like I don't notice and grab my drink to walk over there. Once I'm standing in front of Jax, he slides his hand onto my hip before pulling me onto his lap.

"What the fuck are you doing," I ask through my teeth so that I don't draw attention to us.

"Making Chibs jealous. Trust me, I'm a man," He answers, showing me his million-dollar smile that melts most women's panties but not mine.

"Oh, trust me, Jackson, I can tell that you're a man right now," I say as I wiggle around in his lap which makes Opie laugh, once again attracting Chibs' attention. Maybe this plan really would work.

I sit there and chat with the two of them about anything and everything and Jax's arm stands banded around my waist with his hand extremely high on my thigh. I pause every now and then to mess with Jax's hair or smile down at him to really act like we're into each other. When I get up to refill my drink, he follows me and stands behind me, kissing the junction between my neck and shoulder.

"So this is why you don't know your number," The visitor interrupts us, and Jax tenses up.

"What's he talking about, Ellie," Jax asks and stands up straighter to show off his manliness. I roll my eyes before answering him.

"I made him a drink earlier and he asked for my number. I told him that I didn't know it."

"Usually, bro, that's a universal sign of a lady telling you to fuck off," Jax taunts which just seems to piss the guy off.

"You want another Jack and Coke?" I interrupt and make him another one when he nods. Jax rolls his eyes before kissing my head and excusing himself to the bathroom. I get caught up making more drinks for other people and stay busy until he gets back. We go back to the couches and Chibs is now sitting next to Opie. Opie sends me a not so sly wink and I fight the urge to face-palm.

"Chibby, how's your night going," Jax asks him as I settle back into his lap. This time I sink into him a little more and place my hand on top of his on my thigh.

"Good, brother. Eleanor, good to see you again," He says with tension in his voice. I grit my teeth at his use of my full name.

"You, too, Filip." He grits his teeth back. I take a sip of my drink. He takes a sip of his own.

We continue to stare at each other while everyone continues talking and laughing around us. Twenty minutes later, I start to feel a bit woozy so I stand up to get myself some water. I stumble trying to stand up and brush it off with a laugh.

"One too many drinks. I'm just gonna get some water," I dismiss Chibs, Jax, and Opie's concerned faces.

As I'm walking over to the bar to get water, I stumble again as the world starts to spin around me. Something's wrong. Two or three drinks should not have me feeling like this. I make it behind the bar and brace myself against it. I manage to unscrew one of the plastic water bottles that we keep under the bar but it's difficult for me to take a sip. Right as I finally get the bottle to my lips, everything goes black.

CHIBS' P.O.V.

She's been a temptress all night. Her little black dress just barely covers her thick ass and her tits are practically spilling out of the top of it. I can see her tramp-stamp of an Irish Easter Lily with how far down it goes. The heels just add to the total sexiness of the outfit and I do my best to not picture them pressed against my back as I pound into her.

I've been shaking with anger ever since she sat down in Jax's lap and I did my best not to rip his head off when I saw his hand on her thigh. Even though he's more age appropriate for her, I can't help but want her more than I've wanted anyone else in my life. Ever since I set my eyes on her beautiful face that day when she looked so hopeless, I can't stop thinking about her.

After spending over an hour fighting the urge to talk to her, I finally make my way over to where she's been sitting with Ope and Jax while she's at the bar with Jax. I carefully watch as they talk to one of the visitors from another charter, the tension in Jax's body telling me that he's probably hit on Ellie. I'll find a reason to pick a fight with him later, once Jax and Ellie leave together.

I call her by her first name purely because I know it pisses her off and I'm rewarded when she grinds her teeth together before retaliating with my own full name. I don't mind her calling me Filip; I'll take any reason to talk to her. I can tell that something's wrong with her when her eyelids start to droop a little and my suspicions are confirmed when she stands up and almost falls. She stumbles over to the bar and when she struggles to make it there, I follow her.

Thankfully, I catch her body before it hits the ground and the full water bottle in her hand crashes to the ground, which alerts everyone to what happened. Jax vaults himself over the bar and helps me lay her down on top of it. I shake her head lightly and tap her cheek a couple of times but she doesn't move.

"What did she have," I shout at Jax.

"Only a couple of drinks. Maybe a cigarette or two. She didn't even touch the joint we smoked earlier," He answers and I can see the fear in his eyes.

"Ellie, come on, wake up, sweetheart," I say gently as I shake her again. She doesn't stir and I check her pulse, which is still strong. That relieves some of the tension in my body, but I still don't understand why she won't wake up. "Ope, in my med kit, there should be some smelling salts. Grab them and bring them to me."

After he brings them to me, I pop one and put it under her nose. She jerks up, gasping for air before she wraps her arms around me. When she starts crying, my heart breaks, and I'm once again filled with anger. Someone had to have drugged her.

"No one leaves. Someone tried to drug her and I'm gonna find the fucker," I growl at Jax and he starts yelling at everyone to not move before closing and locking the clubhouse doors. Even though she's awake, she's still groggy and confused, which seems to make her cry harder. "I'm here, lamb. You're gonna be okay, I promise."

Jax drags the guy that was talking to him and Ellie earlier over to us. The guy tries to get away from him the whole time, which just signals that he's got a guilty conscience. Jax forces him down into a chair and keeps his hands on the guy's shoulders in case he tries to run.

"Tell us what you did," Jax hisses at him and the guy recoils from him.

"I put something in her drink," He mumbles barely loud enough for us to hear.

"We fucking know that, you bastard. What did you give her and why did you do it," I yell at him. Ellie winces at my volume and I stroke her hair to try to soothe her.

"Rophynol. She was asking for it, dude. She flirted with me and then pretended like she was his old lady to try and get more attention," He replies, almost cocky when he announces the sleeping pill he slipped into her drink.

"She wasn't asking for it, you prick. Just because you can't get any pussy doesn't mean that you should try and drug girls into it," Opie shouts.

"She's got 'slut' carved into her arm, bro. She wouldn't have that unless she wanted to be fucked." Jax and I share a glance before swapping places, him gently holding Ellie and me taking care of this piece of shit. I grab the guy by his throat and throw him against a nearby wall, feeling satisfied at the sound his head makes when it connects with the wall.

"I'm gonna beat you until you're black and blue and then I'm gonna let Jackie boy over there beat you until you're begging for mercy. No woman would ever willingly carve 'slut' into her arm, you brainless eejit. You don't know what the fuck she has been through but you'll understand an ounce of her pain by the time I'm done with you."

The first punch is like a release. I picture what he probably wanted to do to her and it increases the power of my second punch. When I kick him, I hear her imaginary screams for help, calling my name over and over again. As I slam him down on the floor, the image of Jimmy carving into her fills my head and my vision goes black as I continue to batter the guy who thought that he could take advantage of my Ellie, my beautiful Ellie who deserved the world after everything she had been through. My vision clears and he's barely awake, struggling to breathe with a broken nose that's pouring blood all over the floor.

I stand and wipe the blood off of my hands on a dirty rag that's resting on the bar. I pick Ellie up off of the counter where she's fallen back asleep and carry her upstairs to my dorm to the sounds of Jax's fists pounding into the guy's lifeless body. Her hair cascades across my bed when I lay her down and though this isn't how I imagined her first time in my bed, I'm grateful that she's here and not somewhere else. I pull off her shoes and grab one of my t-shirts from the dressed before pulling it over her head so that she's at least a little more comfortable. As I'm tucking her under the covers, she stirs slightly.

"Filip," She whimpers, breaking my heart.

"Right here, lamb. What do you need? Some water or something to eat," I ask as I push a piece of her hair behind her ear. She nuzzles into my hand, making me fall for her even more.

"Dress is uncomfortable. Need help," She quietly says and my hand stills on her cheek.

I take a deep breath and help her sit up. I reach under the back of the shirt to unzip it so that she can wrestle the thin straps out of the sleeves of the t-shirt. Once that's done and she's pushed the dress down her thighs, she tosses it behind me and snuggles into my pillow. She grabs my hand when I try to leave and pulls me back onto the bed.

"Don't leave me," She whispers. I climb in next to her and pull her close to me under the comforter. "I'm sorry."

"Never apologize for what happened, Ellie. You did nothing wrong. That guy was a piece of shit and he's being handled," I tell her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice.

"He's thousands of miles away and he's still breaking pieces of me," She says with tears in her voice. Instead of replying, I grasp her wrist in my hand before kissing up and down the scar there.

"You're more than what he did to you. You're worth more than what he did to you. You're everything, little lamb. Don't let him take anything more from you."

"He's already taken everything," She sobs. "Jimmy took me from me and I'll never get that back."

As I lay there with her wrapped in my arms, crying her heart out, I vow that I will never let him touch her again. Jimmy fucking O'Phelan will rue the day that he set eyes on her and decided to use and abuse her.

#chibs fanfiction #soa #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #chibs telford #chibs #filip telford #opie winston #tommy flanagan #fanfiction #jax teller

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kalimagik · 5 years ago

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Should’ve Said No

Sirius Black x Reader

Marauders Era

Based off the song “Should’ve Said No” by Taylor Swift

<3k

Warnings: Angst and mentions of cheating

A/N: I’m back with another song based fic because that’s one of the few places that I draw inspiration from. I had a three hour car ride, listened to this song on repeat a million times, so in short, this fic just wrote itself! If you enjoy it, like, reblog, comment, or follow (I think you get the gist so far!) It’s my first time writing for Sirius, so I hope you all like it! Happy Reading <3

I knew the risks that came with catching the eye of Hogwarts’ biggest playboy. I knew his reputation. I had stayed away for a decent amount of time, but the boy finally wore me down at the end of sixth year. He asked and asked. He said he was done with his play boy life. I said yes. Everyone was surprised I said yes. Hell, I was surprised that I said yes, but it was worth the risk. Sirius Black had my heart in his hands. He was careful with it too, almost delicate.

Then seventh year kicked in and so did the beginning of quidditch matches and parties. I did as much Common Room rotating for the parties as the next girl, but the one time, the one time I decided that school was more important, he wasn’t strong enough to not ruin everything. Let me go back for a minute.

Lily came up to me during lunch the other day, I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday, and sat with me at the Y/H table.

“Did you finish that Transfiguration homework Saturday?” she asked me casually, but seemed to have a little bit of a tremor in her voice.

“Yeah, Remus was a ton of help. Thank you for telling him that I needed him even though I didn’t want to ask. How was the party?” I asked, thinking nothing of it. It had been Gryffindor’s turn to host, but I wanted to get a good grade in my N.E.W.T. level transfiguration this year, so studying took precedent.

Lily grew quieter suddenly.

“That bad, huh?” I giggled, judging her reaction. “Where’s James?”

I was still so daft. So stupid to think that everything was normal. Lily’s boyfriend and my boyfriend were best friends. It brought us closer than ever and it made me happy. Sound began to fill the Great Hall as others came in for lunch.

“He’ll be along. I just wanted to talk to you,” Lily piped up again. “Are you almost done? Could we go to the loo to talk for a minute?”

“What is with you, Lil?” I was worried now. Lily was usually such a happy presence to be around, but that day, something was off. I gathered my things, following Lily to a bathroom a little ways from the Great Hall. What was she so upset over? I hoped she was alright. “Oh, look! There’s James and Sirius!”

I had started to call them over, but Lily quickly pulled me through the door of the bathroom.

“Seriously, Lily. What’s up? Did James do something? Should I warm up my wand?”

“He didn’t do anything, Y/N.” I just stared at her, mouth slightly opened. I was wracking my mind over what had potentially happened that had her acting this way

I realize now that I was so worried for her when she was just being protective over me.

She finally spoke. “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but you deserve to know. He isn’t going to tell you, Y/N/N, but I like you and it isn’t fair.”

“What are you rambling on about?”

“Sirius cheated on you…” she finally blurted out. My whole body went numb. I didn’t even hear her say who it was with. I later found out it was Marlene. That was a whole other beast to deal with. We were never that close anyways, so it didn’t surprise me.

Like I said, I knew his reputation.

“Y/N/N? It was at the party. I don’t know if he was drunk or what. I wasn’t paying much attention. He begged me not to tell you and James even begged me to give him the chance to tell you. I did. It’s been nearly 5 days and he hadn’t and I couldn’t just watch him with you, acting normal. I’m sorry.”

I realized then that I hadn’t said anything yet. I stood there, staring at the sinks behind Lily. I didn’t even look at her. My gaze shifted to my face in the mirror. The color had drained from my face. I couldn’t even see any emotion in my features. I could only feel my heart shattering into a million pieces.

Then Lily asked those dreaded words. “Are you okay?” I looked at her, a blank stare still ensuing, “Oh, no. You’re mad at me. I am so sorry, really. I didn’t want to tell you all of this.”

Words finally found their way to my lips. “I’m not mad at you, Lily. I’m mad at him. I’m going back to my room. I may see you tomorrow. I don’t know.”

I bolted to the door and for the crowded halls. I didn’t want to be with anyone anymore. I heard Lily calling to me over the noise. “But, we still have classes today!”

I wasn’t going to classes. I was processing. Processing was allowed right? I just found out that my boyfriend, correction, my now ex-boyfriend, cheated on me. I would face him later, but for now, I needed time to myself.

With classes continuing, my room was completely empty. The moment the doors shut, the tears began to roll down my face. I scanned the contents next to my bed. There were those stupid flowers that Sirius had given me the previous Friday.

I stood in front of them on my night stand. I felt all the hurt and anger that had been numb explode. They burst. My hands acted on their own accord. I picked up the flowers in my hand. They were so delicate, but the anger flowed through my veins and instinct threw them against the wall. When the noise of the limp plants didn’t give me any satisfaction, I followed the flowers with the vase. The smashing sound of glass against the wall was all I needed to hear to know that I was broken inside.

I skipped my afternoon classes, falling into a heavy sleep, exhausted from the crying. It felt like a hippogriff had run me over. I got up to use the bathroom later and assess my running makeup and horrendous bed head. It was bad, but I didn’t care. I enchanted the door so that no one could come in. They’d only be able to enter when I gave permission. I just needed to be alone in this school that was now seeming all too small.

When I skipped dinner too, I knew someone was bound to come searching for me eventually. Only, I was expecting Lily or one of my roommates to knock on my door. For some reason, the idea of Sirius coming to talk to me never crossed my mind.

I heard someone attempt to push against the door as I curled up under my blankets. I felt like they would protect me from the world.

“Love? I know you’re in there,” Sirius called out to me from behind the door. “You skipped classes and dinner.”

His voice was so calm. Surely Lily told him that I knew the truth about his weekend. He should be a mess like I was right at that moment!

“Go away. I’m not feeling well,” I lied. I wasn’t ready to confront him then. I wasn’t ready to even look at him.

“Evans told me,” he sighed. I could hear his fingernails scratching against the wood. Another pause. “I know you know.”

“Then you know why I don’t really want to talk to you.” I couldn’t help but let the blunt words take the place of my gasping and sobbing. I’d rather him hear the harshness in my voice than any of the hurt.

“Y/N, darling. I will take it all back if you just give me one chance. It was a moment of weakness, love. With the party and the alcohol, it just happened. It meant nothing though.”

I had no response for him. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. 45 minutes may have passed. Sirius tried to speak to me a few more times. I even heard him trying to counter the charm I used to lock the door, but he couldn’t. He had no choice but to leave.

I endured the cooing and sympathies from my roommates, but I hated it. I hated feeling like this. I hated feeling hopeless. This wasn’t my fault. I was a victim, but I’m not weak.

I couldn’t sleep all night, so I silently moved around the room and placed all of Sirius’ things in a bag. His records of the muggle music he adored, the remnants of the flowers, even the pictures of the two of us. I didn’t want them.

I marched down to breakfast with the strong intent of telling him off in front of everyone. Everybody in this bloody school knew what had happened by now. I’m sure Marlene basked in the mess she caused and would tell anyone who wanted to hear about it. So, I wasn’t going to let our break-up be ruined by rumors. I’d let everyone witness it first-hand.

I combed my hair. Redid my make-up. This didn’t hide the fact that I had been crying all day and night, but I don’t care. I needed to do this.

So now, here I am, standing outside the Great Hall. Students from all the houses are eating their breakfasts and I’m holding this bulging bag.

I feel Lily Evans’ bright green eyes on me as I walk down the length of the Gryffindor table to where she was sitting with Sirius and the other Marauders. From the short glance towards her, I can’t tell if she is scared about what I am going to do or proud. I don’t really care at this point though. I am here on a mission.

“Pads,” Remus whispers as he is the first one to see me walking towards the group (aside from Lily).

I’m carrying this bag and just thinking to myself how strange it is to think the songs we used to sing, the smiles, the flowers, and everything is just gone. His dark, piercing eyes met my own. He doesn’t look like a mess. He looks perfect like he always does. This recognition just fires the anger that has been building up inside of me all morning.

“Y/N? You’re up! Excellent!” Sirius smiles at me. He reaches out to take the bag from me as if he’s helping. “I was thinking perhaps we could have a chat this morning before classes? We could go to the courtyard.”

I examine him. He seems different to me now. He was pretending like nothing was wrong while he was in front of his friends. I can read him. I know this.

“I don’t think so, Sirius. Those are your things.” I spit out at him, pointing to the bag now in his hands. Hoping that I am wearing a blank face, I watch his fall. I know he can tell what I’m feeling through my Y/E/C eyes. He always did say that they gave me away every time.

“I told you last night though. It didn’t mean anything.”

Scoffing, I can’t stop myself from shaking my head. “No, Sirius. Yesterday I found out about you and even now just looking at you feels absolutely wrong! I heard you last night. You say that you’d take it all back given one chance. It was a moment of weakness-” My arms were flailing as I began to yell. I’ve never been capable of keeping my voice down. I know I’m loud. “And you said yes!” The words bellow out of my throat and I feel like they echo. I don’t know. I’m mad. I’m not finished either.

Sirius looks at me as if he wants to speak, so I have to cut him off quickly.

“You don’t get to talk yet.”

The silence of the Great Hall was deafening. I know that everyone is watching us. Although, I am feeling extra strong. Maybe all those girls that Sirius screwed over in the past were sending me their strength.

“I was studying the night of the party. It was the first one that I missed and you messed it all up! Here’s what should have happened.” My hand motions are taking over as the words roll off my tongue. I didn’t even plan any of this. “You should’ve said no, you should’ve gone home, you should’ve thought twice before you let it all go. This school is so damn small that you should’ve known that word about what you did with her would get back to me!”

Maybe I shouldn’t have just pointed to Marlene at that point…oh well. Put my focus back on Sirius.

“I should have been there in the back of your mind. I shouldn’t be asking myself why all of this happened. You shouldn’t be sitting outside of my room begging for forgiveness at my feet. If you would’ve said no, we would still be together. I did everything right! This is your fault!”

His eyes widened at my words. I can’t look at him anymore. I’m not eating breakfast, but it’s fine. I would be on a high from this for at least a little while. I could probably get through my morning classes. I don’t have any with Sirius, so that wouldn’t be a problem. I do have them with Remus, so that could pose an issue, but with what I am feeling right now, I can take it.

“Y/N! Wait up!” Lily’s red hair chased me from the crowded hall. Her face was lighting up everything else. “That was awesome! I mean, Sirius isn’t looking too great, but you were fantastic! I think some people wanted to applaud you on your way out.”

My high began to fade. I didn’t mean to make him feel awful. I just didn’t want to let it seem like he could walk all over me and what he did was okay. It isn’t okay! Cheating is one of the lowest things a person could do!

Lily could see the uncertainty on my face. “Was I too hard on him? Should I have done that in private?” I could feel my eyes begin to puff and redden again.

“He deserved it, Y/N/N. What he did to you wasn’t in private, so I think this is justice.” Lily smiled.

That smile quickly fell. I turned to follow her line of sight. Sirius stood there, just looking at me. He was being quick to run up to me.

“Can we please talk?”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“I said I’m sorry. It’s all in the past!” His eyes are pleading with me, but I just can’t do it. “I want to be with you, Y/N! I have wanted to be with you for the longest time. It was just a moment of weakness. If you could just give me a chance, please?”

“You hurt me, Black.” I needed to stop and cringe. I used to only call him by his last name and it felt wrong to be using it again. “You can tell I’ve been crying, just look at my eyes! I’m sure everyone can see it. And you know all the right things to say! You’ve always been good with words. That’s one of the reasons I fell for you. But do you honestly expect me to believe that we could ever be the same after this? You should’ve said no, Black.”

I turn to walk away, Lily being supportive next to me, but something is tugging on me, a question I didn’t realize I had, so I turn back to Sirius.

“I need to ask you something before I go. I can’t resist. Was it worth it? Was she worth all of this?”

Sirius hung his head. I haven’t seen him like this since he decided to leave home, and I was just a friend at that point. “No. She wasn’t.”

I nod, accepting the fact that he understands that he messed up. Maybe, in the future I can forgive him for this and even be friends, but like I said, we could never be the same. Walking away right now seems like the best option for me though. With Lily beside me, I am going to go to classes and I am going to heal and move on. I said my peace to Sirius Black. He made a mistake, but I would not be the victim of the next one.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #marauders #young marauders #harry potter #angst #harry potter x reader #song fic #first sirius fic #kalimagik #angst fic #lily evans #james potter #remus lupin #padfoot #sirius black imagine #sirius black fic

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missmalice202 · 5 years ago

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Designing Your Melody: Chapter 04 - Chocolate

Chapter 01 - Chapter 03

“All right, mate?” Luka looks up from his guitar and sees Jagged Stone, rock star extraordinaire, poking his head into the recording studio. “Something’s got your sound all mixed up. So tell me,” he cajoles as he strides into the room, brimming with confidence and larger than life, “what’s got your knickers in a twist, eh?”

Luka stills his fingers and gives his attention the other man now sitting on a stool in front of him. He could literally feel Jagged staring at him, a look of unabashed anticipation on his face. Running his fingers through his teal tipped black hair, he closed his eyes and sighed.

He’d tried not dwell on how utterly frustrated he was. It’s been almost a week since his fateful encounter with his new inspiration, but he’s no closer to finding her. All he has is the mysterious melody playing on an infinite loop in his head and the scrap of paper that he now carries with him everywhere he goes, tucked securely in his jacket pocket. He isn’t sure where to even begin to start looking for the girl. After some serious thought, he contemplated asking Juleka if she would know how to track down a certain fashion designer because if the drawing he had in his possession was any indication, she was obviously very skilled and therefore had to be well known in the fashion industry.

But unfortunately for the guitarist, by the time he had worked up the courage to ask his sister to do some investigating on his behalf, she had been booked for a photoshoot overseas and had left the country. Sometimes he just had the worst luck. Plus, between doing deliveries in the morning and getting some studio time with Jagged to prepare for his next album, he honestly really didn’t have the time to be hunting down a single girl out of the two million residents of Paris. The odds were not in his favor.

In the end, he had resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to wait until Juleka came back and then ask her for help. Until then, the only thing he could do was tweak her melody and keep her design safe. He’s sure their paths will cross again. They had to.

“Nothing has my ‘knickers in a twist’ as you so delicately put it. I’ve just got some stuff on my mind, is all.” His fingers pluck at the strings of his guitar restlessly, the notes contradicting him wordlessly.

“Sorry to tell ya this, bloke, but that guitar of yours is callin’ you a liar. Level with me, man, anything I can do to help a rockin’ musician like yourself out, just let me know. We’ve gotta get that sound of yours back in harmony.”

“Yeah,” Luka responded listlessly, “I know, Jagged. Thanks.”

Luckily, they were interrupted by a knock on the window separating the recording studio from the control booth, signaling that the producer was ready for them to begin their session. The last think Luka wanted was to be interrogated by the flamboyant rocker, regardless of how well meaning he was.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

After their recording session was over, Luka decided to grab something to eat before heading back home to log in and get some grinding done in-game. However, he seemed to have acquired an extremely obnoxious and over-eager shadow.

“I’m telling ya, mate, that’s some of the best playing I’ve heard since I worked with your mum. You could become a superstar if you set your mind to it.” Being ambitious and hungry for attention, someone like Jagged Stone just couldn’t understand that there were some people who preferred to linger in the shadows.

“I’m happy just playing my music, to be honest. I don’t have any grand ambitions of stardom.” A small smile graced Luka’s lips. “I don’t want a record label to try to dictate what I play or how I sound. I don’t mind playing your music because it speaks to my soul, but I want my freedom when it comes to my own music”

Jagged threw his head back and laughed, holding his stomach in mirth. “I feel ya, mate. There’s times I wanna kick some of these record labels prats out on their arses. They have no respect for the artistic process. I can’t just snap my fingers and deliver a chart- topping song. It takes talent and dedication and, most importantly, they gotta feel it in their soul!

“Oh! That reminds me! Penny!” he called over his shoulder at his ever present and long suffering personal assistant, “I want you to send some chocolates or flowers or whatever it is that girls these days like to Marinette. That girl is fabulous and dedicated to her craft and I want her to know how much I appreciate her help.” She nodded, tucking a stray piece of her sleek burgundy hair behind her ear and took out her tablet, tapping a reminder in her notes.

That caught Luka’s undivided attention. The Jagged Stone he knew wasn’t the kind of guy who just gave other people presents. If anything, he expected other people to do things for him, without a seconds hesitation or complaint. For him to go out of his – or rather, his assistant’s – way to offer a gesture of appreciation was, quite frankly, unheard of!

“Who’s this Marinette girl?” he asks. “What did she do for you that was so important that you’d want to send her a gift?”

Jagged reeled back in shock. “Oh, what hasn’t she done for me? Whenever everything goes pear shaped and I’m in a pinch, I know I can count on her to help me out. I mean, one time she made the wicked rock n roll shades for me. Another time, she basically saved my career when she redid my album cover after the bloke who did the first design wouldn’t accept any of my input and came up with this absolutely bonkers cover art. And now this time, she’s really saving my skin. I had to ask a massive favor of her and in such a short amount of time too.” He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “I just want her to know that I appreciate her style and all that fabulous girl does to help me when I’m in a bind.”

Honestly, Luka was a bit surprised. Jagged usually wasn’t one to sing another’s praises, so this “Marinette” girl must really be something special.

Luka looked at his phone to check the time. “Well, Jagged, I’ve got to run. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”

“Cheers, mate. I’ll catch you next time.” Jagged saluted the younger guitarist. “Do what you need to in order to fix your sound. It’s doesn’t sound right when it’s all jumbled up like that.”

Luka waved goodbye and left the record label, heading home to his boat.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

When got back to home, the quiet slapping of waves against the hull of the boat was the only sound he heard as he strode across the deck, taking a moment to appreciate the beautiful sunset reflecting over the Seine. It was kind of lonely being the only one on board. He couldn’t wait until his sister got back in a few days. Until then, he’d just have to fill the silence in other ways. Shaking his head at his own melancholy, he ducked into the cabin and made his way to his bunk.

Deciding that he needed to find his center again after such a chaotic week, he toed off his sneakers, settled onto his bunk, crossed his legs and gently rested his wrists on his knees to meditate. Maybe that was why he had been so off lately; he just needed to clear his mind and get rid of the negative energies swirling inside his mind. Taking a deep breath in, he closed his eyes and relaxed into his meditation.

Thirty minutes later, he opened his eyes feeling refreshed and less off balance.

Glancing at his phone again, he figured he had time to get some gaming in before heading to bed. With any luck, Ladybug would be online too. He liked playing with the rest of his clanmates, don’t get him wrong, but Ladybug was just such a badass. Her skill was unparalleled and when they were in the midst of an intense battle, she took command of the situation and always led their team to victory. She fought with grace and made everything she did look effortless. If he were honest with himself, he just enjoyed being in her company. She had such a sweet voice that even when she was barking out orders on the battlefield, she still sounded as clear as a bell.

After logging on, he was pleasantly surprised to discover that luck, for once, was on his side: she was online. That was a relief, especially considering she’d been MIA all week due to being busing working on whatever project she had going. Deep down, he was a little jealous that “real life” was dragging her away from the UMS4, and therefore away from him. But he did have to admit that it was a bit hypocritical of him to be jealous of her being busy when he was bordering on obsession with finding someone who, if he didn’t currently have her design tucked into the pocket of his jacket, he would have thought that the whole encounter had been an extremely vivid figment of his overactive imagination.

Walking up to her avatar, his own waved in greeting. “Hey, Ladybug. Just you and I tonight, huh?”

Her avatar waved in response. “Hi, Viperion. Looks like it. Want to do some grinding and work on equipment upgrades since we don’t have enough people on our team right now to do any major missions?”

He smiled and his avatar gave a thumbs up gesture. “Sounds good. Let’s go”

As they traversed through their online world, she struck up conversation to fill the silence. “So what have you been up to this week? Anything fun and exciting?”

He chuckled softly. “Not exactly. Just working and practicing. How about you? How’s your project coming along?”

Her groan echoed in his ears, making him laugh under his breath. “Oh god, I’ve been working non stop since I last played with you. Five days, working ‘round the clock without even leaving my house. I’m pretty sure my parents were about to send a search party up to my room to check and see if I was still breathing,” she laughed.

“Oh? You still live with your parents?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “We have a very good relationship, so it works out well for us. I help them out with their shop from time to time when I have time and they give me food.”

Luka laughed, shaking his head. Sometimes she really was too cute. “That’s nice. I live with my mom and sister, but they’re out of the country right now, so it’s just me. I never thought I’d think this, but with them gone, it’s too quiet here and the music in my head is a bit overwhelming in the silence.”

There was a brief pause before she responded, “the music in your head?” He could hear the confusion in her voice.

“Yeah, I’ve had this song stuck in my head for almost a week now and I can’t get it out of my head until I find what I’m looking for.”

“Uhh- Okaay, I’m not sure what you mean, but I wish you the best of luck finding what you’re looking for.” He heard her yawn audibly through his headphones. “And on that note, I’ve got to go. I have to get up early to help my parents with their shop since I have some time before the next phase of my project.”

A little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to spend more time with Ladybug, but he understood that she had prior commitments. “All right. Will you be on tomorrow at all? I had fun just messing around with you tonight.”

“I should be able to get on for a few hours tomorrow night. I had fun too,” she admitted. “Well, goodnight, Viperion.”

Smiling softly, he replied, “Sweet dreams, Ladybug.” And logged off himself.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

Turning her console off, Marinette plugged her controller into the charge cable and turned off her desk light. Stretching her arms over her head as she walked over to the ladder leading to the loft where her bed was located, she giggled as when she realized that she had learned more about Viperion in that one conversation than she had in the months she had been playing with him since he’d joined “Miraculous Kwami”. She enjoyed playing with him. He was just so calm and collected, completely relaxed even in the most stressful situations. There were many occasions where his level head had really helped keep her calm enough to figure out how to defeat an especially tricky boss. Plus, it didn’t hurt in the slightest that his voice was really hot. Idly, while she changed into her pajamas, she wondered if his face matched his voice.

Shaking her head, she thrust that thought right out of her mind. Online was online and reality was reality. It wouldn’t do to confuse the two. For all she knew, he was a 45 year old bald man with a pot belly and a handlebar moustache. Shuddering at the thought, she shook her head again and made the decision to just leave things as they were. There are just some things that are better of not knowing.

Chapter 05

*Not going to lie, I had a lot of fun writing Jagged Stone. I also tried to stuff in as much British slang as I possibly could while still having it sound relatively natural.

Oh, and if you want to understand a little bit what Luka’s music sounds like when he’s confused and stressed out, this is what I listened to when I wrote the first scene of this chapter.

Until next time Lovelies XOXO*

#lukanette #mlvalentines2k20 #lukanette february #lukanette fic #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous fanfic #fanfiction

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notwhelmedyet · 1 year ago

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I want to caveat that my drafts really don't live up to the beauty of Imladris. I am but a wee amateur writer-bookbinder and not an elf. Just wanted to get that out of the way. Plus, these maps necessarily were simplified and zoomed out to show all of the important landmarks I listed out for you above. So imagine there's a lot more terraces, spires, little outbuildings, statues, fancy carved roofs over the walkways etc.

My initial sketches I was still battling it out with waterfall logic. I even got out my childhood box of legos and tried to figure it out. Gave up and copied Daniel Reeve's "rocks scattered in the river which the lower falls break around for some fucking geological reason" design.

Based on the dimensions of my planned frame (to match the Eriador map), I decided to do 3 illustrations - one far away topographic map, one that showed all the outbuildings around Imladris and one close enough to label all the main house buildings. I drew the frame with added dividers which don't make any logical sense if you look at them too long so shhhhh ignore the details.

From there, I penciled in shapes for the buildings and went at it with diluted india ink washes. I originally planned a key but ultimately didn't use it - I did a dark wash for tall buildings, a mid wash for single-story buildings and a light wash for walkways, patios, porches etc. I then added the washes for the green areas - dark green for forests and lighter for meadow/sward/turf.

I mixed up a brighter green to add in a little texture and garden beds, then a deeper green to fill in the trees. I made the terrible decision to draw a architectural-drawing tree blog texture over the entire forested areas rather than leave them as an inkwash. it was the 10,000 circles of Mirkwood all over again. It does look nice though.

Next I did the contours for the rocks and shorelines in brown to match the zoomed out topographic map. Then I did the washes for the river and fucked up all my lovely islands. because the river bled underneath my masking tape on the first attempt and the masking fluid peeled up bits of the paper on the second. 🤦 easily fixed if I'd thought to scan a copy before going at my 10-hours-of-inking with a huge blue paintbrush but I am tragically impulsive with crafts.

Instead I got out the lightbox, traced the worst islands, redid the inking, cut them out and pasted them back on top. Not an elegant fix but it did scan pretty imperceptibly (especially since the final size of these illustrations is about 3x6 inches each)

Then I just had to clean up the frame, write out a million labels and figure out how to get them onto my maps. I decided to write on white paper and add the labels digitally because that river nightmare made me risk averse (finally a good decision. it had to happen sometime). This time I used my very smallest Hiro tape nib - I knew I was going to reduce my labels down in size considerably so I wanted them to start out thicker so the lines wouldn't completely disappear.

Voila! Two maps, quick and easy!

and now maybe I'll get back to actually typesetting

making maps for A Fire Shall Be Woken

it's been a few weeks since I posted an update on my current bookbinding project and that is because I was briefly possessed by the ghost of Christopher Tolkien and decided we needed fold out maps. And, of course, I couldn't find any maps on the internet that suited so...................why not hand draw them? this is reasonable, right?

First I made a map of Eriador (the region to the west of the Misty Mountains), starting with a traced version of Karen Wynn Fonstad's map from The Atlas of Middle Earth. Her map was lovely, but the lettering didn't match the uncial lettering I'm using & I really wanted full color. there were probably easier ways to get a full color map and redo the labels than redrawing the whole damn thing but I am not known for doing things the easy way. I tried to use primarily elvish names for places where available, since that would be how both POV characters refer to them.

(Karen Fonstad's original on the left, my version on the right)

The whole thing was done with a Nikko G nib dip pen, minus the Eriador label which was a brauss caligraphy nib in 1.5 mm. Most of the colors are watercolors that I diluted & mixed with a little gum arabic to prevent feathering. The black is cheapo speedball india ink.

It's hopefully not *too* obvious in the final version that several sections of the map were redone on a second sheet and spliced together, especially the area around Isengard and Imladris, where I misinterpreted rivers and roads before consulting the Arda Encyclopedia (shoutout to fans who love cataloging information y'all are the best)

The frame is based on a Mucha design that @zhalfirin pointed me towards and felt very fitting.

I finished that map last week and was very happy with it for about two days before I started thinking....oh, but what about the back of the book? What if we had another map for the back of the book? What if we made a map of Rivendell?

#bookbinding adventures #a fire shall be woken #long post

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Tokusatsu Streaming Guide: Where to Watch Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and More

https://ift.tt/2VR6eGr

Ten years ago a fan of Tokusatsu (Japanese special effects shows, mostly superheroes) could have never imagined the access we’d have to these programs today. Back then official releases of anything outside of the American adaptations, particularly Power Rangers, seemed like a far off dream. However in the past few years especially there’s been a slow trickle of Toku shows becoming available to stream in North America.

In the last few months though that trickle became a waterfall as several new services have quickly become mainstays, finally allowing Toku fandom to finally enjoy their favorite shows legally. This also allows more casual fans a chance to experience these shows for the first time and that’s who this guide is mostly for. If you’re curious about the wider world of Tokusatsu and need a place to start, this guide should cover your bases for the many kinds of Toku series out there.

Just as a note, we are only discussing shows that are legally available. This also isn’t a comprehensive list. Many of the streaming services mentioned below have multiple Toku series available, we’re just picking a small sample. With that in mind, let’s dive into this ocean of Toku, shall we?

Kamen Rider (1971)

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

The release that shocked and delighted Toku fans, the original series in the long running Kamen Rider franchise may be old but that doesn’t detract from its enjoyment. This is Toku in its purest form. Incredible fights, trippy special effects, bizarre monsters, and a strikingly bleak backstory for the main character.

Hongo Takeshi is kidnapped by the evil Shocker and transformed against his will into a cyborg. Worrying if his humanity is intact, Hongo still fights for justice as Kamen Rider. It may seem simplistic in our modern age of superheroes but there’s something enduringly appealing about Hongo’s quest to stop evil despite the wrongs that were inflicted on him.

Plus, come on, you can’t beat those trumpets that come in for damn near every music number. Highly recommend if you’re down for old school heroics or just want to enjoy some trippy 70’s TV.

Zyuranger (1992)

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

Many people reading this are no doubt aware of Power Rangers, especially the original Mighty Morphin series. If you want to rock your world, you gotta check out the Super Sentai series Zyuranger. It’s as far from MMPR as you can imagine, with a team of dinosaur-evolved humans from 170 million years ago brought into the present day.

Power Rangers and How It Adapted From Super Sentai

By Shamus Kelley

TokuSHOUTsu: Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and Super Sentai Coming to Streaming

By Shamus Kelley

The differences between it and MMPR will be the main draw for most and as you watch the series you’ll be impressed just how much the producers of Power Rangers were able to take this footage and remold it for America.

Ultraman Mebius

Available on TOKU

You can’t do a list about Tokusatsu without giving love to one of the big three, Ultraman. While the franchise’s original series sadly isn’t streaming (but you’ll be able to soon), you can’t go wrong with the 40th anniversary season Ultraman Mebius. Following the adventures of the rookie Mebius, the Ultra comes to Earth and joins up with the attack team (hilariously out of context) named GUYS. Mebius, GUYS, and even a few characters from past Ultraman series, fight off giant monsters attacking Earth.

The Challenge of Bringing Ultraman to America

By Shamus Kelley

Comics

Marvel Reveals Ultraman Details

By Shamus Kelley

Both a great introduction for new fans and rewarding for long time Ultra fans, Mebius is a fantastic show to jump headfirst into the hero that’s larger than life.

Garo

Available on HiDive

If you want something off the beaten path of the big three Tokusatsu franchises, Garo might be right up your alley. Feeling a bit darker than other Toku (and not just because much of the action taking place at night or in darker spaces), the series follows Makai Knight Kouga Saezima attempting to protect humanity against the evil “Horrors.” Along the way though he encounters Kaoru, who is set to die in 100 days, and he sets out to try and save her.

Everything from the look of the series to the designs of the Garo suit feel different from Sentai, Kamen Rider, and Ultraman and if you aren’t feeling the more traditional vibe of those series Garo might be right up your alley. It’s also the first in a very long and surprising franchise so if you like it, there’s a lot more to get into.

Space Sheriff Gavan

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World Official

The first of the not as often remembered Metal Heroes franchise (although some of the series in it were adapted into VR Troopers and Beetleborgs), Gavan stands out for just how wild it is from the jump. Sure there’s the story about Don Horror (wonder if he’s a bad guy!) trying to destroy Earth and Retsu Ichijouji (Gavan) being sent out to stop him but that’s all icing on the cake.

American Tokusatsu Shows: VR Troopers

By Shamus Kelley

American Tokusatsu Shows: Big Bad Beetleborgs

By Shamus Kelley

Metal Heroes have a reputation for bonkers visuals along with great action and Gavan delivers in spades. From the opening seconds of the first episode we’re greeted with Gavan standing atop a robot dragon standing against a gloriously lush background of outer space. Lead actor Kenji Ohba is also stunning in his action scenes and he puts even the superheroes of today to shame with just how good he is in these hand-to-hand fights.

Love action? Love weirdness? Want to be cool and not go with the obvious choices? Gavan might be for you!

Android Kikaider

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World

An absolute smash hit in Hawaii that’s still talked about to this day, Kikaider is more classic ’70s Toku action if Kamen Rider wasn’t enough for you. Following the heroics of robot Jiro against the (obviously) evil DARK, the main draw of the series is not just the delightfully over the top action but also the compelling conflict between Kikaider and evil robot Hakaider.

We should also mention that while the first two episodes of all series on Toei Tokusatsu World are subtitled, further episodes that will be uploaded won’t have them and it’s being left up to fans to subtitle the rest. Even without subtitles though, Kikaider’s action should more than keep your attention.

Dynaman (Night Flight Dub)

Available on Night Flight Plus

Easily the strangest entry on this list, Night Flight’s Dynaman isn’t just the seventh entry in the Super Sentai series. Oh no, it’s a little known dub of the show that aired on USA Network’s Night Flight program in the ’80s. It’s a gag dub through and through and mostly relies on pop culture jokes and (and we’re being generous here) outdated humor.

Still, it’s a peek into one of the earliest examples of Toku being brought to America on a large scale. For that alone it’s worth checking out, especially for those interested in the history of Toku in America and exploring the “what if” of imagining this getting popular instead of Power Rangers.

Gridman The Hyper Agent

Available on TOKU

Bold proclamation to make, but Gridman has the absolute best design of any Tokusatsu hero ever. It takes what worked well enough for Ultraman but added extra detail in all the right places to create a truly iconic look for a hero.

Gridman follows three hip computer kids (Naoto, Ippei, and Yuka) whose videogame superhero is taken over by the interdimensional Gridman who then combines with Naoto. The computer hero fights against the digital monsters of the evil Kahn Digifer in some of the best looking fights of all the series we’ve mentioned. Some shows might have better action overall but the look of the computerized world of Gridman can’t be beat.

American Tokusatsu Shows: Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad

By Shamus Kelley

SSSS. GRIDMAN Episode 1 Review: Awakening

By Shamus Kelley

The show may look familiar to some American fans as its footage was used in Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad. Gridaman also experienced a revival in the form of the SSSS.GRIDMAN anime, which redid some of the concepts of the original series with a few easter eggs to Syber-Squad for very hardcore fans.

Special Rescue Exceedraft

Available on Toei Tokusatsu World Official

Look, I’m going to be real with you. I’ve only seen the first two episodes of Exceedraft. I have no idea if the whole series is good. What I can tell you though is that the first episode is straight up the most batshit wild episode of any Toku I’ve ever seen. It’s like if someone took the plot of Speed and said:

“Aha, let’s do this but condense it down to 20 minutes, add in some shiny superheroes, and make it way more intense.” Also, the title of the episode is “The Kindergarten Bus of Death.” Just watch it. If you watch nothing else on this list, watch this episode. It’s Toku on, well, speed and it’s fantastic.

Jetman

Available on TokuSHOUTsu (Shout Factory TV/tubi/Pluto)

What if Super Sentai, but a soap opera? It’s not that Tokusatsu had never had soap opera elements before or after this series, but Jetman took that idea to a level that’s still being talked about today. When Red Ranger Ryuu’s partner is killed in an attack by the (say it with us now) evil Vyram, the powerful “Birdonic Waves” are unleashed on four unsuspecting civilians. Ryuu recruits them and they become the Jetman team.

With strong characterization from the start, Jetman stands out by jumping into the romance between team members as Ryuu struggles with his growing attraction to White Ranger Kaori. It’s standard soap opera stuff, with a love triangle thrown in for good measure (which would have been better if Kaori was given more agency), but if you love those tropes then Jetman might be the series for you.

As we said earlier, this is only a small sampling of some of the shows available on streaming sites in North America. What are some of your favorite Tokusatsu series that are available to watch and which ones do you hope are picked up in the future?

The post Tokusatsu Streaming Guide: Where to Watch Kamen Rider, Ultraman, and More appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/323lmEt

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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artcenterstories · 5 years ago

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A Visual Conversation: Meet Art Director Samantha Kallis

ArtCenter: What are you working on right now? Samantha Kallis (BA Illustration '10) Art Director of Development at Disney Television Animation: I can't give specifics, but broadly I work on Disney projects before they go into production. My job is to generate artwork in the early stages of the storytelling process, shepherding a project along until it's green lit.

I help the showrunner or creators figure out visually what they're going to say. It's more like a visual conversation. I'm just planting seeds because eventually another art director will come in after me. It's just enough to draw out the core story points, so those who end up making the show can have their own voice.

AC: What’s the most unique thing you’ve designed? SK: As animation evolves, I’m constantly thinking about how my work also has to evolve. I’m seeing a big movement toward the VR space — if viewing is headed in this direction, it poses a whole new area of visual problem-solving. I've been trying to figure out how to design for a medium that might go beyond linear narrative since the audience in VR can look wherever they want.

AC: How do you define success? SK: For me, success has never truly been tied to the work. It's about doing something that allows me to live a full life outside of the work. Success is balance, which I'm not always successful at.

AC: What’s the design cliché you’re most tempted to use? SK: I don’t think we need to be too afraid of clichés, so long as you are designing to the story you’re trying to tell. Clichés are shorthand storytelling. Part of my job is to get the easy read — it’s the most effective tool when you don’t have a lot of time on screen.

AC: Do you have any superstitions? SK: I try to force a previous solution in a new situation, and I have to relearn each time that a new problem requires its own unique approach. It's a craving for a formula, but for me the only thing that’s ever worked is to research obsessively.

AC: What’s the one tool you can’t do without? SK: Pinterest is a real lifesaver. It allows for tangential researching; clicking on one thing, then another. The drawing and painting come fast, but the research takes a long time.

AC: What’s the first site you look at when you open your computer in the morning? SK: WhoWhatWear. I find I can't jump straight into working.

AC: What do you do to detox from media and screens? SK: Hiking — I'm Swiss, so it's pretty much required. I live in the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains, and on the weekends, I'm pretty ready to go off and not look at a screen.

AC: If you could trade jobs with anyone for a day who would it be? SK: I've always wanted to do what I do, so that's a tough question. I wouldn't mind trading with the head of the studio, so I could green light anything and raise my salary a couple million. Or I'd do something completely outside myself — like a spy in the CIA. I've been catching up on Homeland.

AC: What book is on your bedside table? SK: I have a few right now: The Dutch House , The Witch’s Daughter, and Red, White & Royal Blue. For me, reading is an escape, and I like to switch between books based on my mood.

AC: Who are the most interesting designers working today? SK: Those working in VR; they're pioneering the next iteration of viewing. I'm excited to see how it could be applied to our pipeline. Although choosing where you point the camera is such an important part of filmmaking. I just saw 1917 and how the camera was used to create a third character and enhance the narrative and drama — that’s something I’d miss if VR became the norm.

AC: Describe a moment in your childhood when you first identified as a designer. SK: I come from a line of artists, so it was like going into the family business. My great grandfather was an art director; my grandfather was an art director who worked on movie posters — the most famous one he worked on was the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. My uncle was a writer for television; my dad has done documentary films; my grandmother was an illustrator for magazines.

My grandparents had a studio with an old, mid-century modern cabinet with a thousand drawers full of every art supply you could imagine. We were allowed to open any drawer we could reach and play with all these amazing, professional art supplies. Growing up, you got a crayon instead of a rattle.

AC: If you could have a superpower, what would it be? SK: Definitely teleportation. I'm so sick of my commute. And for dinner — how about Rome?

AC: What’s your most prized possession? SK: I have a lot of art from my grandparents hanging all over the walls of my house. I love being surrounded by it all; it’s like a hug.

AC: Where is your happy place? SK: In my front garden. We live in a 100-year-old Victorian cottage, and we recently redid the garden with plants native to California. It attracts so many butterflies and humming birds. In every place my grandmother has lived, she’s always had an amazing garden. And I knew I'd do the same.

AC: How would your closest friend describe you? SK: Competitive, I hope trustworthy and compassionate. My husband says I have an over-active sense of moral responsibility that keeps me in line; I get very upset if people don't play by the rules.

AC: What’s your best piece of advice for an ArtCenter student who’s interested in following your career path? SK: Many of the people in animation had such a different path than I did. So I would say not to compare yourself to others and don't expect something that worked for someone else to work for you. When I was a student at ArtCenter, I wanted to be a freelance editorial illustrator. But I realized I wanted the lifestyle of going to work in a studio, having a regular paycheck and working collaboratively.

I was attracted to animation, so I pursued becoming a storyboard artist. But once I got the job, I absolutely hated it. So my other piece of advice would be to trust your gut and don't be afraid to change course.

AC: If you could add a course to the ArtCenter curriculum, what would it be? SK: Television animation classes. The majority of jobs in animation are in television, especially with streaming. The industry will likely grow exponentially in the next couple of years, and there just aren't enough artists.

#artcenter #artcenter college of design #animation #disney #television #samantha kallis #illustration #entertainment

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drsobota · 6 years ago

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Nightfall

Shaxx walked the darkened tower, a restlessness had stolen over him as he slept. Dreams loaded like dice had spun through his head, every time he had broken free of one another took its place. These weren't nightmares, or old glories. These were lust, craving a fight of a different nature, another form of conquest. He had left his signature armor in his spartan quarters, just another wandering guardian tonight.

A hand reached from the dark, grabbing his shoulder. Shaxx reacted, grabbing the wrist, pulling and then twisting he drove this sneaking foe into the wall of the alleyway where he had been lurking. In the dark, a voice.

"Well alright, I can see someone isn't a big fan of being touched." came the rough voice of the Drifter. "If you mean to break my arm, do you mind mind doin it already? I don't wanna be here all night."

Shaxx realized he had the drifter up on his toes, looking back at him with a dangerous eye and no smile on his scarred face. Shaxx pushed him harder into the recess, against the wall. It was late, but even if it had been busy, the Drifter wasn't a man who would ever call out for help. Shaxx's blood pounded in his ears. He could break this man, this gambler. He felt himself stirring at the thought. No, he wasn't out to fight tonight. This wasn't a clash, this was a conquest.

Shaxx reached roughly between the drifter and the wall, pulling loose the buckles of his trousers. His hand found the Drifter, rising to the challenge. He pulled the drifter free of his confines, feeling the man's pulse steady and strong in his palm. A worthy adversary perhaps.

"Easy there friend, you sure you can handle that much firepower?" the Drifter said, eye warily trying to look back at his captor. In response Shaxx kicked his left knee, pulling the man's hips back, exposing the top of a muscled backside as he did so. Careful to keep the drifter pinned to the wall, he let go of his captives arousal to free his own.

With a soft, meaty slap his member fell fully across the rise of the drifters ass. He was struggling carefully against Shaxx, but he could find no give in his iron grip. The second he felt the other man against him, he paused.

"Oh, now that feels more like a cannon than the sidearm I was expecting." came the drifters gruff, slightly muffled response to the girth of Shaxx falling on his exposed backside. "You uh, sure you know what you're doing?"

Shaxx shut the other man up by jamming two gauntlet clad fingers into his mouth. To his credit, the Drifter didn't even flinch. He just rolled his tongue over the fingers, his visible eye still dangerous in the moonlight. Shaxx took his well lubricated fingers, and slid them down the pale crevice of the Drifters ass. Shaxx kicked his legs a little wider, the man wasn't just going to roll over it seemed. Working his fingers into the Drifter, he felt himself stiffen further.

"Well if you won't talk, fine. But don't leave a brother out in the cold.". Somehow, even jammed against a wall with two fingers in his ass, the Drifter managed to sneer at his captor. Shaxx punched him in the mouth, twice. A split lip didn't seem to faze him, but it did shut him up. Shaxx guided his throbbing, aching manhood between the Drifters now spit slicked cheeks until he felt the soft ring of him twitching on his tip.

Grabbing the Drifter by his cock, he pulled the other man back, impaling him fully. Neither man spoke. This wasn't a space for words, this was a space for the sounds of warfare. Of bodies meeting in the dark, the soft rustle of cloth and the dull tap of buckles and armor. The soft grunts of heroic struggle as both men sought to dominate the other. Shaxx's free hand worked the Drifters steely member, as the drifters free hand helped hold them both up on the wall.

Shaxx's breath came in hot, heavy bursts. He wasn't some rookie going all out, he had a rhythm to his movements, he was here to win. The Drifter could feel each impact down to the soles of his boots as this large, silent stranger bore down on him. No one gets the better of Old Drifter, so he started to fight back. Rolling his ass back, forward, back again in time with Shaxx's thrusts, combat was well and truly joined.

A stranger walking by would be greeted with a view to one of the greatest fights the city has had since the red legion struck. A monolithic Titan locked in a deadly struggle with the Drifter himself. Sweat sheened the exposed skin of both men, the smell of it mixing with the smell of precum and raw, throbbing manhood. The tides of battle had shifted, the hip rolling of the Drifter had his assailant losing rhythm. He could feel the other man thickening, twitching erratically inside him.

"What's the matter," he said with a thick, rough voice, "start a fight you cant-" he was abruptly silenced as the bigger man released his arm, and literally turned him over on his still throbbing cock. The other man had the Drifters legs over his arms, and that rock hard prick inside him was roughing up a really hot spot. His eyes widened slightly.

"Oh shit."

He felt the other man power into him, once, twice, three times to the hilt before wave after hot, thick wave poured inside his well abused ass. At the same time, his own lust burst forth, shining ropes covering the gauntlet around his cock, staining his attackers chest plate in abstract arcs. Neither man moved, both breathing hard, both realizing it had come to a draw.

Shaxx's half hard cock slipped free of the Drifter with a soft pop. He let the other man down slowly, his blood cooling brought the full realization of what had just happened crashing down on him. The Drifter took to his feet with ease, quickly snapping everything back into place. The Drifter had nothing to say, no quip or harsh remark. He eyed the silent Titan for a moment, before leaving the little alcove and walking away. Shaxx quickly redid his own trousers, using a fistful of leaves he scrubbed the Drifter from his chest plate and gauntleted fist.

He made his way back to his quarters, carefully making sure no one had followed him. A guardian passing by paused, turning to adress him, "Radiolarian fluids can corrode some armor. You might want to scrub your plate before you turn in.". Shaxx looked down to see the faintest traces of semen still shining on his armor. He nodded, and the warlock who had stopped to help him nodded before wandering off.

Once back in his own room, Shaxx quickly stripped off the extra armor and set to breaking it down. He couldn't risk wearing it ever again. Sure there was a million more like it around, but that small fact wasn't enough to save it. He destroyed the gloves, chest plate. As he dismantled the trousers, a small jade token fell to the floor. One of drifters coins. How had that...

Shaxx was interrupted by a knock at the door. He keyed it open in just the helmet, knowing exactly who it would be. The Drifter gave him an appreciative once over with those hard, dangerous eyes, before pulling a bottle and two small glasses from behind his back with a flourish.

"I don't do unfinished business, and brother, have we got business to finish tonight." he said, a dark smile playing over his face.

The door closed on an empty hallway.

War had come to the new tower. And brother, was it going to be a big one.

#fanfic #destiny #x rated #lord shaxx #the drifter #conquest

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amethyst-marshmallow · 4 months ago

Text

Tw: slight body horror(?)

IT'S YOUR FAULT

dont worry guys I DIDNT hide a teeny tiny amogus no one will see

I hate the face i already redid it twice tho and i hate this 1 the least

More under cut :) (and i mean a lot more plz check it out PLZ)

Yoo

Alt version:

i totally didnt hide anything in that one either but i think i forgor to put the gradient on them both before i saved them and i saved them wrong so i cant go back in NOOOOOOOO

Ref pictures

The more chibi ver was a doodle to kinda put the design down and the second was a more finished version

Older doodle

I used 2 draw their hair closer to canon but it was hell for me bro like i hate it sm so i changed it ik its not as canon but whatever ]]]]

Their new hair looks a bit more floaty bc i think as a spirit their hair would be sorta anitigravity and stuff but whenevr they were alive it would be flatter ill prolly post a drawing of living chara eventually so youll see that👍maybe

also the whole image has frisk in tehre also so here it is

this is pretty bad bc it was mostly just supposed to be a ref for me for their colors and designs but uhh yeah just take it bro just take it

SPEAKING of old art like a million years ago i said i was working on a chara doodle sheet but truth is it was already done except for some reason i decided i wanted to put all the words by hand? and i was procrastinating that so uhh i never did that and i never posted it but here it is now

uhh yeah

the things written down are headcanons i didnt reread all of them but i think i still headcanon most of them now so feel free to read them if u want

tbh that looks like shit but👍whatever i made it a long time ago

anyway thats it. ill stop now. bye

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rockleefangirl987 · 7 years ago

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What You Love...(For Rock Lee Birthday Month!)

I wrote this last year as we had a challenge for Rock Lee Birthday Week. I thought I would post it again, and this was in answer to the challenge made by @sausage-fist. I thought it was a great way to start it out. Here was the challenge:

Lee has a passion for training and becoming stronger!! It’s what he strives for every day. What is your passion? What do you strive to become? Create something that involves you telling him or showing him the thing you are most passionate about whether it be sports, drawing or even comedy!! Show Lee what you train for every day.

What I train for? I try to write each day, as I have since I was too young to even know why. My inspiration included the Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, Margaret Mitchell and Daphne DuMaurier, because they wrote the books my mother loved and taught me to love. I wanted to tell stories full of unbridled passion and real human beings with all their little problems and life not always turning out as we hoped. I wanted my readers to visualize everything as though a movie was playing before you. So as a writer, you struggle with all the right words and...

Well, Lee, this is for you - one more time.

I...I do not...I do...not...understand,” he said between deep gulps. I watched his head bounce up, vanish, bounce up again, then drop out of sight - over and over as it had for the last ten minutes. No matter how often I saw him perform his push-ups, the idea of him managing a conversation and performing a countdown in his brain astonished me to no end.

“What do you mean? What don’t you understand?” I replied, drawing one leg underneath me as I readjusted myself in the large wicker chair.

The fall morning was too beautiful to stay indoors, even if your work engulfed you, preventing a full enjoyment of the day. Still, it was nice being close to one’s muse. One’s overactive muse...We had been out in the garden for hours, me with my writing and him performing what came naturally. At one point there were pull-ups and rotations from a stout tree limb fifteen feet off the ground. On another occasion, he did nothing but run. For the two of us, it was typical.

Once more I asked, “I know sometimes I feel like I’m talking in riddles.”

“No...No...it...it is not...not that. You said you...you were...having...problems.”

“Yeah.”

“But...what you are doing...it seems simple, right?”

Twirling my favorite pen as one might a baton, I stopped before launching into one of my habits: clutching the instrument between my teeth. How many times did I have to remind myself: you don’t know where that pen came from? Even if I was the only one handling it. Even if I kept it safe within any of my numerous notebooks. I snatched an antibacterial wipe from a nearby container, and while I cleaned the pen, concentrated once more on what he asked.

I couldn’t help smiling at the notion. From others, I might have taken exception, but from him? The innocent expression indicated one thing: his questions were because he was curious and cared about my well-being. For the last hour, I had grumbled, scowled, buried my face in my hands, torn one sheet from the binder, then another, doodled terrible stick figures - a couple with bushy eyebrows (seeing those made him giggle as he joked ‘I do not look like that, do I?’). Still, I wondered how I might better explain so he’d comprehend, not because he was stupid, but…

“Yeah, I guess it does seem simple.” Smiling, I tapped the notebook resting on the portable writing desk in my lap. “Every time you see me, I’m putting words to paper.”

“Or typing...typing away...on...your...computer. Sometimes...you never stop.”

“Neither do you.”

He paused, considered my words, then returned to his routine. “That is true...But...But is it that...difficult?”

“Writing?”

He nodded a response.

Chuckling, I used an index finger and thumb to massage the insides of my eyes. “You wouldn’t believe how hard it can be. Not all the time, but...I don’t know...It just feels like it’s all stuck up here.” I pointed at my head. “And it doesn't want to come out! I see it...I can hear it...Everything! Descriptions, what everybody says to each other, what characters are thinking or feeling! Then I try to write it, and I read it, and I think…”

“What do you think?” after I didn’t respond for several moments.

“That it’s the most godawful garbage anybody’s ever written.”

“Two thousand!” he shouted.

Was he already finished?

“But I have seen books in bookstores. I tried to read excerpts.” He sat cross-legged on the ground near me. “And I told Guy-Sensei the writing was so painful I thought I was going to cry. Tenten is more explicit. She said the authors should be locked in a room and forced to listen to the pain they have inflicted on their readers.”

I snickered, rolling my eyes, nodding in agreement.

The chunin continued. “And some of those books have been made into movies. Although truth be told, the filmed versions were not any better than their source material.”

I laughed again. “Who died and made you a movie critic?” Shrugging, he responded with a smile I'm certain he prayed would make me feel at ease. Under normal circumstances, it might have. Right then, nothing I felt empty, lost in the problems of my own making. “Yeah, well, I’d like to be a little bit better than that. Not that I’d sneeze at a million dollar contract from a publisher or a movie studio, but my name’s going to be on it. I’d like people to look back at my stuff and think ‘Wow! Another Gone with the Wind! Another Pride and Prejudice!’ Not ‘Oh my God - take away that woman’s laptop and paper and pen and break her hands so she never writes again!’”

There came that soft giggle which never failed to make me smile. I couldn't help it. “That is so silly. I have read your stories, remember? No one would ever accuse you of writing...well…some of the books I have seen. You do not write about vampires or werewolves or fifty whatever.” A blush came to his cheeks. “You write about...people, life.”

“I try,” I muttered, exhaling. I was frustrated. I had been working on one chapter for three weeks - bits and pieces here and there. What should have been a basic, informational few scenes stressing the heroine’s dilemma bogged me down a third of the way through. In that time frame, I rewrote one scene more than a half-dozen time. Another key scene faced four times under the knife. Each time I looked at the words, I groaned, cursed (I never did that in front of him), and either hit the backspace key or drew several furious lines through the sentences on the lined paper. That second scene annoyed me to Hell. It sounded stilted, forced. Characters I’d handled for almost a year fell to pieces. I imagined them glaring at me from my Chromebook screen or my notebook, each of them thinking ‘What in the world is her problem?’ I honestly didn’t know, so in the meantime, I returned to previous chapters - the chapters I loved, chapters over which I had also once struggled.

“You are seeking perfection.”

I looked up and into those large dark eyes. “I guess.”

“Of course you are! You have shown me so many wonderful chapters, and I am always honest and tell you how they are. They are good. No, how great they are. The old adage is right. You do have a way with words.”

I ducked my head. That was something I had heard since my school days.

“And then you return and tell me, ‘I redid this. What do you think?’ It will be the same scene, but you have added more dialogue, removed this or that, changed a phrase about, added a new thought...and it is still good. Then you work on another chapter or scene, but you keep returning to the other, although I did not think anything was wrong with it in the first place. But you know what?”

“No, what?”

“No matter how many times I read it when you make the adjustment, whatever that might be, it is even better than before, although I did not think it possible...But you must realize, the time is going to come when you cannot make another change. That it is as good as it will ever be. Otherwise...you will never finish.”

“Huh.”

He scooted closer. “You have been working on our story for a while.”

“I just want to get it right.”

“I know. I appreciate that. But you joked the other day you have barely scratched the surface and you have written...sixteen chapters?”

“Eighteen, nineteen,” I confessed. “Some of them don’t have chapter numbers yet because they come later in the story. And a few are so long, I could split those down into another chapter or two.”

“Yes...They are good too, you know.” He gave me a thumbs up accompanied by a toothy grin. “I especially like the one, you know, the one where…”

“I know.” This wasn’t the first time he told me he did. Every time he read that part, tears filled his eyes when he finished. “It’s kind of my favorite too.”

“How many revisions?”

“I deleted a sentence last night.”

“Not again!” It was his turn to sigh in frustration. “If you have not scratched the surface yet, it will be another year or two or three before you write ‘THE END’, and it will not be the actual end because you will revise and rework and rephrase it and…”

“Yeah I know, I know!”

It happened before I knew it. Pen, notebook, and portable desk were thrown to the ground. I was upset with myself, not with what he told me. He realized that too, having seen my temper flair before. He also said nothing when he saw me tear up, reaching down to touch the cherry wood of the lap tray he’d given me as a birthday gift. If I damaged something which came from his heart…

With great calmness, he picked up the items, placed them on the table in front of me, then raised the lid on the Chromebook.

“When I said I did not understand why it is not simple when you are writing, I was wrong.” He maneuvered the mouse, digging deep into the carefully organized folders in the Cloud. “When someone has a passion for something, and it means everything to them, others should not tell them they must give it up or lower their goals.” Although I observed him in profile, he was smiling. “I ought to know.” He turned briefly, winking at me. “This is what you work hard for. This gives your life meaning. It is your code - your Ninja way. I have made a promise to support you as best I can, just as Guy-Sensei still does for me. I am sorry if I do not always appear to understand.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not you. A lot of times, you’re the one who gives my brain the jumpstart it needs.” I gave the lap desk a quick once over, pleased there was no damage. “I’m sorry.”

“It is alright.”

“But it’s not alright. You gave me something special and I…”

“Your passion got the better of you.”

“That wasn’t passion. That was me and my stupid temper.” My voice dropped lower. “Lee, what are you looking for?”

“It is fine. I have found it.”

I saw that the folder he clicked bore the tentative title of the story I had given my nearly undivided attention to these last eleven months. “But I don’t…”

“Your writing means the world to you. One day you will finally show everyone what I consider myself privileged to read. But until then…” He squatted in the chair next to me. “Start it again. I want you to hear how good it is, and I find that reading it aloud can make a great difference.” When I hesitated, he gave me a slight nudge. “Go on. Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Black letters against a white background were plastered across the screen, meaningless when I first took a look at them. All of that came from me. The inspiration was the person at my side. Giving him a peck on the cheek, I smiled and began to read the words familiar to both of us.

@ten-all-over @fruitysmellz @sausage-fist @samlovesmaitogai @shock777 @nejicanspin @sincerelysinclair17 (is that you @Morganknightos), @teacher-monica @strikeelectricart and all you other Rock Lee fans.

#Rock Lee #bushy brow #asplendidninja #Rock Lee Birthday month #rock lee birthday

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